 Instead of these days, both partners looking at each other like, what exactly do you do here? Why do I need you? And crucially, if you recognize that they are bringing something unique and essential to the table, that they're providing something to your household that you could not provide yourself. If you have the attitude that there is no important difference between you and your spouse and that you can do everything that they can do and probably do it better, then naturally you're not going to be grateful for them.