self-hatred as a candid way to survive, soft memories, ocean specular, all along the stars, astrophotography, odissey, gritty feeling, imagining a blissful fate, conflicted emotions, anger, sadness, facial expression, emotive portrait, by francis bacon, by beksinski, contemporary masterpiece, neo-expressionism, war photography, photojournalism, antithesis, dialogue, chaotic revenge, loneliness, soul, melancholy