I wish you the best.  You are beautiful, and you're looking at letting out your inner beauty, too.  Which being genuine is hard, b/c when you're genuine, people are seeing the real you and that's scary.  Keep practicing.  It'll come.  All that really matters is that you're being true to yourself and honoring other people as fellow human beings. Go to those you trust to ask how you're doing if you have a concern.  Blessings and peace to you. ~Tria