I hope u are feeling better and enjoy your vacation.  I understand you 100% when you say that you are nonchalant and don't seem to get overly excited to people, you hold that good feeling inside and it comes out in your music.  I get comments like that from people often.  Just because I don't bounce of the walls all the time does not mean I am not happy.  Girl here are some words that I tell myself all the time - negativity breeds negativity. Go get it girl!