We all have wishes, mate   The secret seems to be choosing one of those wishes one at a time, and taking some action.  All your negativity could slowly turnaround, you'll wish you did it years ago - but only YOU can change things, me ol' love.  Action.  Nothing changes without you taking action to get out of your rut.  Don't give up - or wish your life away, or I have a sneaking suspicion that 'them up there' will only send us back to do it all again.  God bless.