I've seen all of your postings now.  I can't give you false incouragement 'cause that wouldn't be fair.  You've probably been influenced by balladry confessional music.  i.e. Alicia Keys: a vocal gymnast but heck if I can recall any of her melodies.  Go listen to Dusty Springfield or Laura Nyro or anyone making music before 1980.  You've been brainwashed by radio programmers and MTV videos.  Search out some 60's k,and 70's music.  Laura Nyro, Janis Joplin, Grace Slick, Joni Mitchel.