The 3 wolf moon shirt was delivered to me 27 minutes after ordering it by my sprit guide. I quickly seized and  donned the shirt of power and  felt the divine hand of god bestow untold powers unto me. As the power surged through my veins I immediately ran for the woods that surround my trailer. As I wrestled a grizzly bear to the ground, and ripped trees from the ground, roots and all, as if they were mere weeds  I finally found  the place the shirt was guiding me! behind a huge boulder, which I easily disposed of, I found the cave of power and the 3 wolves were waiting for me. They showed me untold wonders of the universe, and imparted the wisdom of many sages unto me. I returned home after a fortnight, no longer a mere muffler mechanic, I am conjurer of the wolves!

I can no longer take off the shirt of power, it has become one with me. No matter how short I cut my hair my divine mullet returns, my eyes have been opened to the great wisdom of the universe, and I can no longer close my eyes to the wonder and power. The woods that surround my trailer park cry to me, begging for my return. I will heed her call.