I purchased the Three Wolf Moon T-Shirt with the sole purpose of warding off the town bullies (almost everyone in my town in Jefferson, West Virginia, including girls, have either hit me, pushed me, thrown something at me, tripped me, laughed at me, or just verbally attacked me). After reading all the reviews saying how this shirt will help me not only in attaining some kind of extra strength to fight people with but also how it will force women to be attracted to me, I decided to take the plunge and buy it. I splurged and ordered it Next Day Air so I could wear it immediately.

The next day the box was delivered. Although I was extremely excited as I opened the box (I was visibly shaking and could hear my own teeth chatter), I was also skeptical like FBI Agent Dana Scully from the X-Files. Slightly trembling I slid the shirt on. It fit snugly against me. Though it looked Awesome (amazing details on the wolves and the moon), I felt nothing exceptional until I looked closely at the faces of the wolves, howling. I saw an intensity I had never before experienced, along with raw animal emotion and a oneness with the natural world, especially a oneness with the moon. I could start to feel something, a sense of self esteem I'd never felt before in my life. I felt the spirit of not one but all three wolves enter my heart. I felt like a lone wolf. But with the power of three (which makes it three times better than the "Breakthrough Wolf T-Shirt" which I was about to buy before seeing the Three Wolf Moon T-Shirt.)

I felt like an animal.

Now it was time to take the Three Wolf Moon T-Shirt for a "test drive" around town.

Immediately upon leaving the front door to mother's barn some of the usual bullies I deal with on a daily basis were upon me (some of the neighborhood kids who use mother's field as a baseball diamond after school). One of them punched me in the stomach - hard. I toppled to the ground, out of breath, wheezing, then, finding the spirit of the three wolves within me I stood up, placed my forearms together in front of my face in standard spell incantation technique, breathing hard, and screamed with all of my might: "THE SPIRIT OF THE THREE WOLVES FIGHTS BACK!!!!! THE SPIRIT OF THE THREE WOLVES FIGHTS BACK!!!! MOMBEKTU!!!!! DOJOKA!!!!!!!" (* "Mombektu" in Klingon literally means "Scatter, ungrateful children!" and "Dojoka" is a Klingon curse word.) I was sure this had some effect as all the kids just stood there, not moving. I stared at them, panting heavily, my forearms still locked together in front of my face, watching them for a reaction. "The shirt works," I muttered under my breath, unable to believe it. But my moment of unimaginable joy and victory was immediately shattered when all of them started laughing and immediately they started attacking me again. The beatings did not stop, even as I lay on the ground in the fetal position like a rock like mother taught me, crying, begging for them to stop as they kicked me and punched me again and again, laughing and yelling.

"That's enough!" one of them said, and the beatings stopped. I heard them walk away, saying the same things I always hear like "What a loser, living with his mom at 36..." as I lay bleeding and bruised in the front yard of mother's barn, crying in both frustration and pain. I don't know where these magical powers are supposed to come from, but this shirt does not offer them. I don't know what I did wrong, or if I was wearing it wrong but this shirt did not work for me.

Another complaint is I bought the XXX size which is still a bit snug. XXX usually offers me some extra room which is why I buy that size (I'm a XX), but with the TWMT-shirt I feel like the seams are about to tear. The shirt was stretched after my encounter with the children but, if not for that encounter it would still be a very tight fit.