Last week I was an ordinary guy.  I went to work at my 9-5 job, stared at a computer everyday, and made sure to eat a modest breakfast every morning.  Then I was given this shirt as a gift.  A life-altering revelation of a gift.

The causality of the shirt became immediately apparent:

-I was instantly able to bench press 350lbs+
-The moment I put the shirt on, I was able to figure out how to replace the transmission in my VW Passat, just by thinking about it
-Chuck Norris because my peer
-My shoulders broadened and a barbed-wire tattoo appeared on my bicep
-A talent agent tried to recruit me as a professional rugby player--based on a hunch

As a result of the wolf shirt, I impulsively bought a shotgun and a box of ammo and ran into the woods for the weekend in search of powerfood.  Right now a weakling is writing this review for me, as the wolves forbid such menial tasks.  I am sitting on him.