So I got this shirt, took it home and put it on right away.
And immediately my muscles grew three sizes larger.  The blood vessels started to pop out and started to look like one of those wrestler dudes.  IT WAS INTENSE.
It didn't stop there either.  My teeth got whiter and SHARPER.  And my hair grew out and I looked like Wolf from American Gladiators.  I could now bench press ten Buicks and fly!
I took my new found strength and beat up all the bullies on the football team and made love to all the cheerleaders AT ONCE!  And then I went home to tell my parents and my mom got scared
She said "You're movin' with your auntie and uncle in Bel Air".