Do you want to get about two weeks of nice, solid wear in before a huge hole rips in the crotch? IN that case, friends, order away!

Do you want a nice tight elastic ankle, paired with a low crotch and a high waste, for that timeless Retired Citizens Don't Give A Hoot look? Or that Grandma's Comfy Pants look? Order now!

Do you want a pant that you can grow into, and then grow some more? Something comfy that will allow you to really ease into a Thanksgiving eating binge? Nice choice you made looking here.

Did you want pockets? Sorry, move on. Did you want a sleek transition-from-pajamas-to-public pant? Sorry, we don't want your kind here.