Yes, I know, I know, there is a picture of these shoes on Amazon showing that they have been artificially dirtied as a fashion statement. I suppose I figured they couldn't be as badly 'soiled' as they looked... anyway, why would anyone WANT to buy shoes that are egregiously dirty-looking? So like the hopelessly optimistic sucker I sometimes am, I ordered not one but TWO pairs. I like leather sneakers. I like these colors. I rest my case.
Fast forward a week. On opening the box, I shuddered. Then I began to reason. A good scrub MIGHT remove the worst of the black smudges and smears.. but if my efforts failed, they couldn't be returned. And a pair of new white shoelaces would smarten them up and cost next to nothing. Then I had a sudden dawning: Why go to such lengths to make these shoes acceptable? And so I sent them back.
Somewhere, an electric chair is waiting (for the person whose bright idea these shoes were.)