PROs

- Cheap.
- Glorious.

CONs

- Cheap.
- Hot. As in warm. Really warm.

THE REVIEW

I was looking for a sweet mullet for a ski-resort McGuyver costume. This fit the bill in both color, volume, and texture: it screams mid-80s Philadelphia hockey goon. I love it.

Anyway, after some experimentation and the fact that my beard was in heat, showing a luster that was both sublime and outstanding simultaneously, my fat ski-resort McGuyver costume was substituted by Ray "USA!" Jackson. Granted, the color was off, but I explained that with some self-tanner: Ray Jackson after enjoying a month of rehabilitation at a Fiji ocean cabin. This also required two hours of crossed eyes and some gauze.

If you don't know Ray Jackson, you deserve a vicious beating by Chun Li.

This wig falls apart pretty easily, but I believe that's because the mullet is attempting to breed, spreading itself in spores like a cultural mold. Like most mushrooms, edible or hallucinogenic, it's cheap at a little under $16, so some flaws in durability are excusable.

The mullet is also hot. Like REALLY hot, though this could be due to the large amount of Jagermeister consumed over the course of two days. The antics of said two days could also explain the molting, but I'm hoping to get another season out of it because I just found the perfect fat ski resort McGuyver ski jacket at a thrift store and that costume NEEDS to happen.