Almost limitless are the shirts depicting a lone wolf howling at the moon, stalking its prey, or shooting deer in between sips from a Miller High Life.  While such sartorial works of art are undeniably righteous, I always felt something more could be added, but could never quite put my finger on it.  The answer was so simple yet so elusive that it took us all by surprise: more wolves!  Where one wolf makes you intimidating to men and desirable to women, three makes you a virtual Charles Bronson -type renegade (a la "Death Wish 3") / chick magnet!

Now, you might be thinking, if one wolf increases your ability to get chicks by at least 25%, surely having 3 would grant you a 75% scoring ability: a nearly irresistible force, assuming you started with around 2-5%!  So why not add the 4th and make it a sure thing?  Well, it's not quite that simple, as we have to figure in diminishing returns for each additional wolf.  Were we to graph # wolves vs. ability to score, we would find the curve asymptotic, capping out at around 90%, meaning that regardless of how many wolves you added, you can never be 100% sure that a chick will sleep with you.

Why then, should we not attempt to reach that max, rather than settling for only 3 wolves?  Here I posit the theory that we must also figure in that as we add each successive wolf, the already existing ones lose some of their splendor, ultimately reaching a point where we'd have a shirt filled with less-than-majestic wolves that might inspire contempt, if not outight ridicule, from other men wearing similar, less canine-filled shirts.  Thus, a balance must be struck between number of wolves and the grandeur of each individual wolf: a number that I believe must lie at about 3.  The success of this shirt is testament to this theory: view the numerous stories of achievement written by those who have purchased this product as proof of this hypothesis.  If you don't feel quite ready for the intensity of this shirt, my advice is that you stick between 1-6 wolves: anything less than that is sadly lacking in wolves, where more than 6 can just become silly.  As you become accustomed to the power of the wolves, gradually work that number down to the optimal 3 wolves, and prepare for your entire life to change.