This New England winter is brutal. The winds keep howling, the temps keep dropping and the snow is pounding us like we owe the clouds money. Every day I'm bundling up and shoveling four feet of something -- snow, ice, stranded hybrids, Kennedys -- and I'm done with it. I just wanted to find some way to warm up.

Also, to feel my toes again and have my testicles crawl back out of my rib cage. But I settled for trying to warm up.

I bought this product because I'd seen quite a few people wear them who really seem to know how to stay warm -- hard-core skiers, armed robbers, people from British Columbia. So it seemed like a pretty good bet.

On the plus side, it does keep my head pretty toasty -- but only if I really pull the drawstrings tight to keep the cold air out. Unfortunately, I can't see much out the little hole in the front when I do that, so I tend to run into a lot of things while I'm wearing it -- snow banks, busy intersections, and in one rather unfortunate case, my local bank branch.

Everything got sorted out when the cops arrived -- they agreed that 'premeditated robbery' and four inches of visibility in front of my face probably didn't mesh -- but it was embarrassing, nonetheless. Maybe these should come with some sort of warning. Like a nice 'THIS IS NOT A STICK-UP' embroidered on the neck, maybe? I'm just spitballing here.