Greetings fellow amazonians from here in Perryville Ar. I was working last light at the ring toss when I saw the most beautiful woman I have ever seen since I have joined the carnival. Well she was biggger than most too, but she was striking. I went over to her and asked her name; it was Jo Beth. We spent the rest of the night walking around the carnival and I called in a few favors for some free funnel cake and lemonade. I told her I wanted to take her out somewhere special and that I would pick her up today for a date.
Knowing I couldn't go empty handed I picked up this set of pearls for my mom a while back, but never gave them to her. I knew it would be the perfect present for Jo Beth. When I arrived at her trailer I met her mother who was also a big woman. When I gave Jo Beth the present her mother started to cry, but all Jo Beth did was ask where were the oysters?  I ignored the comment and ushered her out the door.
We pulled up to our destination the Heifer International Ranch in anticpation that it was a lodge for fat people.  I was ready to let my big beautiful date pig out and I could just watch. To bad it has something to do with feeding poor people.  The entire date the people there wanted us to purchase a cow not for us to eat, but to give to some family in a stinkhole in Africa. Boy was this a mistake so Jo Beth and I hightailed it out of there and went to the local buffet joint that took care of us. Later in the evening I was lucky enough to see my heifer Jo Beth in all her glory. Thanks amazon for helping me pick up my big beautiful woman