If morphing into a real life wizard is a part of your dreams and desires then you must possess this hat. My wizard powers have gone off the charts since donning the Blue Wizard Hat.
It all started as just bad luck.  I was late to the first meeting of my new Dungeons and Dragons full role play crew. Being late I got voted the crappiest character. Could I be the Axe Man and wear a Thor costume and smash people. No! Could I be the Archer and wear cool tights and carry a bow? No! I got Wizard. I wear a friggin big dress, a pointy hat, and carry a crooked stick. Seriously, my testosterone decreases just writing about it.

  My life changed when I slipped this fabric masterpiece over my head. I knew... oh yes... A little wizard was born.  A slightly overweight wizard with a flatulence problem but a wizard none the less. (Mom says it's a thyroid problem). I felt like a superhero as I looked in the mirror. Just like a superhero and their costume I knew I had to always wear the Blue Wizard Hat for my powers to work.
  Before I blow away my Dungeons and Dragons team with my abilities I needed to know the extent of my powers. I would hate to get to level 17 and let my team down, lives could be lost.
  I stepped outside to decide how to test my powers.  I thought about testing them on the neighbors but they had cast a spell called a "restraining order" a month ago to repel me.  It is a powerful spell.
  I stepped into the street and immediately a dragon approached quickly with its two bright eyes. As it neared it bellowed a terrible horn like dragon scream. I raised my arms, crouched like a sumo wrestler, and cast my spell.  The dragon swerved, went up on the curb, and quickly ran away past me. He was an angry dragon who yelled obscenities as he ran with fear.  My powers had now exposed themselves.
  I went to a nearby bar where my powers to repel women was tripled. Some would run away crying with just a glance their way. It could have been laughter but I'm pretty sure it was crying. I know what you are thinking... scary powerful.
  Unfortunately I was kicked off the Dungeons and Dragons crew on our first outing at the park. Level 3, the Labyrinth of Darkness. I tried to use my powers but they failed. I panicked and swung my wizard staff like a baseball bat. Antoine the Axe Man took it flush on the noggin. Out like a light. He and the Archer must have been real close because the Archer screamed like a 4 year old at Toys R Us and starting to cry. Oh, and yes, I now have another restraining order to add to my collection.

I will continue to wear my Blue Wizard Hat and hone my skills. I have begun the search for a new team on craigslist... a team worthy of a true wizard. They better snatch me up quick, I heard a rumor that Hogwarts would be recruiting me soon. I hope they take 40 year olds.