These arrived yesterday by the time I got home from work. I immediatley put them on and set off to walk the dog. Within 3 blocks the blisters started. Foolishly, I kept walking. Away from the house. Far away from the house. "I can tough this out," I think to myself. Wrong. 45 minutes later I hobble back through the door, feet bleeding profusely, more determined than ever to break these little torture devices, er, flip flops - yes flip flops, in.

My story, and quest has a bit of history. Years ago I bought a pair of flippers by this company but with thin nylon straps on sale for about $8 at some beachside store. I had never heard of the brand (and certainly would've never paid $50 for flip flops had they been full price - little alone for something with a rainbow on it - how old do you think I am?). Suprisingly they quickly became my favorite shoe outside of work, until after about 3 years I eventually wore the soles to the ground. They were no longer shoes, more like toilet bowl protective covers. Enough was enough, I could no longer tote my little toilet bowl cover flippers around so they got left behind in some distant land where the chances that I be able to retrieve them from the trash were distinctly less possible.

So this is what brings me here, trying to revive those three wonderful years with my trusty, hippie flip flops, only to be deterred from that happiness. I have a very narrow foot anyway, but the problem is that these straps are hella tight! As that they are now worn (not to mention covered in my flesh and blood) I can't really send them back. It would just be rude. Luckily I'm no deserter. My new plans involve copious amounts of moleskin, wearing them in the shower (most likely with lead socks), and possibly leather softener to stretch the straps. I'm definitely open to suggestions, but in the meantime I can't help but feel my life is slipping away as I think of ways to safely wear a pair of flip flops. That cost $50.