At last I found a product that does what it says. It keeps Willy and the Boys warm and snug in style. The faux wool knit cradles my gear in soft comfort I never thought possible. And the Missus can't keep her hands off me when I wear Snake Willy. Her gentle tug on Willy's tongue lets me know good times are ahead.

I made the mistake of wearing only Snake Willy while relaxing on the couch. My adopted tom cat spends much of its time outside and apparently has had a few run-ins with the local serpent population. Mistaking my attire for the real thing, he reacted accordingly. Let's just say that knit-wear offers little protection against teeth and claws.

Surprisingly, Snake Willy came out of the altercation reasonably intact. Part of his tongue is missing, one eye is a partially shredded and the pouch area is a bit more ventilated, but he's still wearable. Unfortunately, what was inside Snake Willy at the time fared much more poorly, and it will be a considerable amount of time before a tug on Willy's tongue gives me anything other than horrible flashbacks.