Oh. My. God. Shut the front door and slap your grandma. Hold on tight because these jeans are gonna get you pregnant. Im too hot, call the police AND the fireman. Songs immortalize fantastic behinds and if youve never felt like the subject of those songs then buy these jeans and buckle up! Youre about to feel like a honkytonk badonkadonk, baby got back, fat bottomed girls, and your anaconda is about to make girls go, oh my gawd, Becky!

Now that the funny part of this review is over... shut up and buy these jeans. Buy ten pairs because Lord knows as soon as you find a pair of jeans you like youll never find them again. I am 411 tall, 173 lbs, 45 hips, 33 waist (definitely pear shaped), and I can never - I mean NEVER - find jeans that fit me. These are the right length. They fit my hips. They don't gap at my waist. And this inner tummy slimming panel? Oh sweet baby cheezus YES. I have a two year old, an awesome mom pouch, and a healthy love of bread. These jeans make me look even better than I did before I grew another human being. Literally ditching every other pair of jeans I have and stocking my entire wardrobe with these.