Write a review for the sun. Make it outlandish and silly.
One star. I recently moved down the coast to California and I have to say, the sun is way too hot. I felt my pores overflowing all day. It's hard to walk anywhere when you're practically swimming. I'm starting a petition to the state government to lower the temp of the sun. They put a man on the Moon, they can surely reduce the sun's intensity a bit.