Write an interview where a man is interviewing a ham sandwich about its self.
This is Simon Weatherby, and today I am interviewing a ham sandwich. My guest is renowned for its great flavor, balance, and worldwide appeal. I was able to sit down with a ham sandwich recently and ask it some questions.

Simon Weatherby: Let's go back to the start; what was your early life like?
Ham Sandwich: Well, I can't say I remember very much. I feel like I've always been this same size. Nice, square, and filled with goodness. I haven't grown, but I guess as time has passed I've gotten a bit more dry and stale.

Simon Weatherby: You're kind of a rock star. There are a lot of other sandwiches that want to be like you. Why do you think that is?
Ham Sandwich: I don't think of myself that way. I'm just here to be the best I can, and if I can make others happy, then I'm happy. Along the way, I might've gained some fame and notoriety, but that isn't the point. The point is just being me.

Simon Weatherby: You're too modest. Come on, just a hint, what is it about you that you think appeals so much to the world?
Ham Sandwich: I don't want to assume anything but I really think people appreciate how I am a straight shooter and very traditional. When you get a ham sandwich you know what you're getting. I'm timeless and for a lot of folks that is comforting.

Simon Weatherby: There is a ring of truth in that. You are a classic. I love your combination of soft bread, unctuous cheese, and of course the salty ham. What do you think is your favorite part of you?
Ham Sandwich: Well, I don't think I'd be the sandwich I am today without my bread. Ham sandwich bread isn't fancy, but it is toothsome and nutritious and, well, it gets the job done.

Simon Weatherby: Very true, I couldn't imagine you in any other bread. If you could add one thing to yourself, what would it be?
Ham Sandwich: People are always trying to add things to me. But the one thing I've always wanted to try is some apple slices. They're very nice and crisp. Plus, they would compliment both my ham and cheese parts.