Write a humorous review by a dog of the new kitten his owner brought home.
I would rate this new kitten with 2 stars out of 5. First of all, he is invading my personal space. He keeps coming up to my tail when I'm wagging it and batting at it with his tiny little paws that have razor-sharp claws on them. He doesn't actually hurt me, but it really is annoying, and he needs to back off. I'm not your plaything, pal. Second, he doesn't come along when my owner takes me on walks. If you want to be friends, you should at least show an interest in activities the other guy enjoys. Are you too good to hang out with me outside of the house? Third, he has this high-pitched meow that is about as pleasant as fingernails on a chalkboard, and he does it a lot. Could you just shut up for a little while? But, to be fair, he can be cute sometimes, like when he snuggles up against me and goes to sleep. He does this purring thing that's soothing that I don't mind too much. All in all, I wouldn't recommend this kitten as a great roommate, but he's tolerable, and I think I may be able to get used to him.