Write a short, funny speech directed at mattress consumers telling them that they need to check the 'bounceability' of a bed before buying it. They should do so by springing up and down on it, just to make sure it's perfect. The speaker should express a particular distaste for firm beds and memory foam beds that don't bounce. Include a call to action at the end.
Deep down, we all know that the most important feature of a mattress is how well it bounces. As children, we test this quite vigorously, bouncing up and down on our bed for hours on end, just to make sure it's up to the task. Usually, we walk away satisfied. As adults, we still do the bounce test, pressing down on a mattress and nodding approvingly, but it's not enough.

A simple press of the hand is not enough. Let's weaponize our consumer buying power and shop based on our needs, not by what the big mattress companies tell us about the beds. We need to go into mattress stores and bounce on the bed to make sure they're up to our springy standards! These memory foam and so-called firm beds are a scam and a disgrace to springy mattresses everywhere. This is not the time to be sleeping, people. Wake up and spring to action today!