I'd like to write a viral tweet so I can get companies to pay me to tweet out their products. Help me write a funny viral tweet about either children or animals. No more than 75 words. Shorter tweets are more likely to go viral.
The moment my kid asks me to play pretend with him is the moment my whole life flashes before my eyes. It takes 8 hours to decide how big his imaginary dinosaur shoe size is. Lord, help me. 