Turn this Reddit post into an email from the writer to the cousin James, explaining his point of view and reasons for not being a free videographer. 

I went to school for film and have a job doing nature videos and stock videos for advertisements.
This week I was going to my cousin James wedding on Wednesday afternoon. I RSVP months ago. I left all of my equipment at home because of its my vacation so why lug it around with me. I get to my grandma’s house on Friday and she’s shocked that I didn’t bring any cameras or anything. She tells me I’m supposed to record my cousin’s wedding for him. She volunteered me. I politely declined saying it was a party I was invited to as a guest. My cousin and family members can’t believe I forgot my equipment at home. My mom already told them I wasn’t doing it and it was rude to expect it from me for free. This whole conversation happened without my knowledge. My cousin said I could rent the equipment myself at my own expense as a gift. I declined again and I have a family member saying I could use their newest iPhone because the specs are better than most professional cameras these days (not exactly true but ok) I tried explaining again that I wanted to be present as guest for my cousin at the wedding. This morning my mom and I was disinvited from the bbq and wedding unless I record the wedding for my cousin. My grandma gave me until tonight to find a hotel room and I’m being difficult because videographer are expensive. I was supposed to help my cousin save money and now he’s scrambling at the last minute because his bride is angry at our whole side of the family because I’m selfish. It’s making the whole family look bad.
Dear James,

There appears to have been a miscommunication regarding my attendance at your wedding on Wednesday. I arrived at my grandmother's house on Friday prepared to celebrate your marriage as a guest but was questioned immediately about my lack of filming equipment. It was then I learned that my grandma had volunteered my services as a videographer without my consent. I have learned that my mom got involved and informed you that I would not be working for free. Again, this conversation happened without my knowledge. 

Since I did not bring my equipment with me, you suggested that I rent equipment on my own dime as a wedding gift to you and your bride. I declined. Another family member suggested I borrow their iPhone to film the event, but again I declined. Once again, I explained that I did not want to work, did not expect to work, and wanted to attend and celebrate your wedding as a guest. 

This was apparently unacceptable as you disinvited both my mother and me from your wedding events unless I agree to work for free as your videographer. My grandmother is also kicking me out of her home because I will not be your free videographer. The whole family is mad at me for not working for free, but this was not something I ever agreed to. You never spoke to me about this. 

Please let me know when you would like to speak about this. 

