Write some patch notes introducing spears to a zombie survival game. Introduce yourself as Ian as well as describe other fixes that the patch adds.
Hey guys, it's Ian here with an exciting update to your favorite zombie survival game! 

Now something that's been requested ever since we announced development has been spears. Arguably the dominant defensive weapon and hunting tool for the vast majority of human civilization, the spear is a natural fit for the zombie apocalypse. In a world where just one bite could be lethal, a cheap, easily produced, and maintained weapon that can keep the zeds well at bay is a complete no-brainer. Get it?

Animations, as well as clipping issues, were our primary hurdle to implementing this fan-requested piece of kit, but we're happy that, with 1.045 patches, you should be able to produce one in your home base with sufficient survivalist skill. A variety of materials can be used to make these new spears. From raw wood sticks from cut-down trees to salvaged wood from rakes and brooms, materials should abound for this excellent early-game weapon.

In addition, the 1.045 patch also introduces these fixes below:
- Reduced animation errors for cutscene when Rick talks to Heather in Act II
- Replaced invisible wall in Slums that players were getting stuck on
- Console commands have been updated, check the dev wiki for additional functions
- Players who received bugged achievements for sprinting across Fort Salvation in less than 26 seconds should now have their badges.

What do you think? Does that sound realistic? Would you like me to write patch notes for any other software? 