Write a parody plot summary of Michael Bay's Transformers using non-copywritten IP.
The movie, "Bland's Bored-ers" begins with high schooler Sam Dimwitwitkee's mom buying him his first car. It's a little round car that embarrasses him until he learns it's a robot space alien named Lady Bugg. The presence of the Patriotic-insert-bots causes the Bad-bots to attack Sam and his girlfriend Mikaela Bads. More Patriotic-insert-bots arrive on Earth to find the McGuffinBox which is a source of limitless power that can create life and entire worlds which is ironic considering the lifeless sales pitch of this movie that will use 4th wall breaks to self-parody itself in an attempt to dodge any criticism.

It turns out the McGuffinBox can only be created by fusing 19,000 sponsors. Advertisements flood the screen culminating in a battle between products and companies with some CGI video game assets thrown into the mix to make fans think there's something, anything at all, resembling the original show. Dimwitwitkee and Bads are captured by government spies after a full-scale ad and Bad-bot assault on a military base, the walls of which are covered in logos to create camouflage. They agree to help the government and then aren't tracked at all because that's absolutely what would happen and is totally believable. But it turns out they lied because the US wants to destroy the good Patriotic-insert-bots too, in a nonsensical moral shoehorned to make audiences forget that the real purpose of the film is to sell sponsorship segments. Sam and Mikaela go on a treasure hunt and find another random plot device that's amorphous and never shown yet somehow reveals to them the secret location of the McGuffinBox.

With the Bad-bots supposedly defeated, the screen fades to black before returning to show a strange metal world where more evil robots are being created followed by a QR code with a survey link containing 20 ads per page. The survey tries to gauge audience interest in a sequel.