Write a short story involving thirteen items from a grocery store, a priest, and a bullhorn. You must specify that there are 13 items in your story, but you do not have to specify what all of them are. You must name three specific items.
The local priest in a rural town in Oklahoma awoke one bright morning with a migraine. As he went to rub his head, he touched a piece of paper. He quickly pulled the paper from his forehead and let out an OOOOWWWWWW. He touched his forehead to find that the paper had been stapled to his head. As he looked over the list, he read the first few items aloud, "Cheese, eggs, pineapple, popsicles. . .". As the priest trailed off reading the rest of the list, he set his feet on the floor. As he got up from the bed, he tripped and fell, landing with a loud THUD. The priest looked behind him to see that he tripped over a bullhorn. "A bullhorn?", the priest thought. "How and why did I trip over a bullhorn?" He picked up the bullhorn and took it downstairs. When he turned the corner into the kitchen, he dropped the bullhorn and the paper. Shock came over the priest's face. In the kitchen were three chipmunks who were covered in brownie batter, eggs, and pineapple. The priest quickly ran to get a broom to swat at the chpimunks. They all stopped and saw the priest grab the broom. The chipmunks all took a breath and said "Hold on Mr. Priest! We mean you no harm. We came in to make you brownies, you set off quite an alarm!". The priest's jaw dropped to floor. "I must be losing my mind," he thought. "Chipmunks that speak in rhymes and bake brownies? That's impossible." The priest shot up in bed in a cold sweat. "Phew!" he exclaimed. "It was all just a crazy dream."