performers professor peter schickele , hardart , wine bottle , conductor chamber orchestra under the direction of jorge mester the royal p. d. q. bach festival orchestra , jorge mester , conductor the orchestra of the university of southern north dakota at hoople heavy opera company under the direction of john nelson the new york pick-up ensemble marlene kleinman , mezzanine-soprano lorna haywood , off-coloratura john ferrante , bargain counter tenor william woolf , bass bernice , houndentenor ( dog ) will jordan as milton host bill macy as paul henry lung the okay chorale , john nelson , director i virtuosi di hoople amateur musica antiqua of hoople robert dennis , announcer and callioper ralph froelich , french horn leonid hambro , harpsichord seymour platt , trumpet mouthpiece track listing ( two disc version ) disc one 1 .