text: I respect the message of "The Unexpected Legacy of Divorce" but it seems rather odd to call the ramifications of divorce "unexpected."  Those of us who have been through the hell of divorce know full well the problems our children face as a result.  Staying together for the children is one of the most damaging concepts of all times.  The author knows this and does present it in a way that eases my frustration a little bit.
  I know many people who have divorced and not one was due to not being ecstatically happy all the time.  They fell apart due to abuse, infidelity, and just plain incompatibility. 
  What I feel matters most for children is for them to feel loved and cared for by their parents.  When you have two parents who both love and share in the lives of the kids, most hardly notice whether or not they live in the same house.
  When you have a parent who refuses to makes the children a priority, who constantly disappoints, hurts, and replaces the kids, there will be damage, no getting away from it.  However, is it better for this type of parent to have daily access to the kids, seemingly with the other parent's approval?  I hardly think so and will challenge anyone who differs in opinion.
  It is impossible for any of the children of divorce to know if their lives would have been better had their parents stayed married.  This is  a major flaw in  the research.  I didn't see any statistics for custody or parental involvement which makes a huge difference. I don't think divorce is the answer for every marital problem but when it happens, you have a responsibility to make your children a priority and alleviate their fears.  When you put your own personal interests ahead of the kid's, whether it's divorce or starting a new life afterward, kids will suffer.
  I don't like 'studies' like this, they're misleading and potentially damaging.
  