  I guess I really am. I mean I would have to be. I literaly HAVE NO FRIENDS. I send alot of my time on here or on my videogame socializing with 20 year olds who MIGHT have more a life then me. I can't swear I have some sort of socializing disability, or maybe i'm just to afread of everyone. I'm not looking for any sorries I just feel like ranting. Feel free to comment. I think I have a problem with thinking to much. I wont do anything without thinking. I wont even say Hello without thinking aout possible outcomes. I wont take any risks, and by none, I mean if theres a chance I could slip and someone could find my position funny, I wont do it. I can't engage in normal conversation (But I think im learning) with people I don't know. I never learned the art of small talk, and thus I seem stupid when I talk to people. I'll give you an example of how my brain works.   I have no one I could call a friend either. I mean the bona-fide, this person knows me, is my buddy type friend. I have lots of aquaintances, but no chums. I have been described as being aloof, and introverted, and I have heard those words You think too much and too hard before as well. I don't like to look foolish, but I can and do take chances once in awhile, but, I have a hard time relaxing, and just enjoying myself. I sometimes wish I could be like the other girls I see, silly and giggly, boy-crazy, listening to top 40, etc. just to see if it really is a good time, but it ain't me.       I would be walking through the hall of my college, and I wont say anything, I'll just try to not to have to talk to anyone. I get always look away when someone looks at me, but i have a problem with trying to look at people and see if there....intresting. Basicly I try to stereotype them and see if I would find them intresting, I don't know how normal this is.   I do this too, not talk to people. I do it all the time! :p I hate to just talk just to be saying something. Too many people out there have word quotas they have too meet apparently, and they'll just talk and talk about nothing! I don't know if you all have noticed this or not, but most kids my age can't talk about anything more than Like you know, OMG!! Did you see that??? WTF?? Giggle, titter... And I HATE this!! I'd rather go through the rest of my school life in silence thank you very much.        I think to much, I see things and I always try to figure out how they work. So far the only things that have trully perplexed me (cause I havn't read about them) have been vacuums and how space shuttles managing to use air to propel themselves in space where the air has nothing to push off of. This seems to defy logic to me. Is there such a thing as being TO logical and thinking things through TO much? I indulge in fact books to much, and I try to gather knowledge to much, its like I never left the age of understanding. Most children leave it when they understand the basics of the world, but I never left it because I was intent on finding out how EVERYTHING works. I don't mean normal learning like everyone else, I mean critically analyzing EVERYTHING that I come across. Perhaps people can try and think TO MUCH, as I found it can lead to anti-social behaviour. I was never public schooled in my life, and I have definatly lead a rather sheltered life. I guess the proper term is shy, but I think its a bit more then that.   I don't think you can ever learn or know too much. It's if you're a/ or become a know it all, is when it might become a problem.        I always figure out why people are like they are, if it isn't logical it isn't true to me. I stereotype people, offten quiet well. Offten people who consider themselves not a part of any group are then most easily stereotyped. Goths, Punks, and alot of Teenagers around my age scare me because they seem to radical for me. They seem content with trying to cause general disturbance and being what I consider weird. Which brings me to another point, I have NEVER had a insident with the police. I have never even talked to one that was on-duty. They don't scare me, I'm just saying that I have never done anything radical or illegal that I can remember. I guess I am a nerd or a geek....well nerds usally have a little more brains then I have.....I'm just trying to figure the world out more then other people I guess. Many of you will just say it comes naturally with life, analyzing things like I do. I think its diffrent, quite diffrent. You can't really understand what I mean unless you are me. I memorize alot of things, but only what I like to memorize. If i pay attention i don't even need to study for tests. I CAN retain information easily, if i choose to.   I don't think you're a nerd or a geek. You just seem to like order in your life, much like me. I like structure, and a clear plan and idea. I hate things just pencilled in.       I guess this is why I am here, because WN seems to be logical. Facts back it and its the most logical thing out there to me. Everyone needs something to fight for, or life seems rather pointless. I wil, probably add onto this rant later when I think of more to rant about. I know everything is QUITE jumbled and scattered but please understand, I'm trying to sort my brain out for outside understanding.....I guess I take refuge in trying to think I could be a genious if I wanted. Maybe not, maybe so. We find out. For now i'm just a teenager (I hate that word) I guess. :p   You didn't ramble at all. Great minds must think alike, because I understood every word perfectly. :p    16