I am bothered that the OP talks of suicide. I almost think SF needs to set a policy on this; refer people who say they want to kill themselves to people who are trained to help them- and put them on moderation for awhile. IDK.  I am equally bothered that he wants to send his suicide note to the girl who refused to date him so she feels 'bad and guilty;' - responsible for his death. This is some pretty sick stuff. She has nothing to feel guilty about.  This sense of entitlement reminds me of Elliot Rogers. Until the OP gets help he will not find a healthy relationship- and will probably blame everybody but himself. So you think he could be in real danger?    I'm trying to tell you GermanAmerican, there are plenty of other girls out there. PLENTY! No need to kill yourself or hurt yourself or anything. You said it yourself, you aren't bad looking. You aren't a bad person, you've got a lot to give. Keep your shoulders squared, keep your head on straight, you'll do fine.