I want to start drinking something that puts some real hair on your chest. Some some whisky will do that for you. I want some background on it first, though. Where can you start me off?
Well to start, whiskey is a type of distilled alcohol made from fermented grain mash.
Fermented grain mash.. sounds tasty! What are a couple of the major key points you think are interesting about it to a potential consumer?
It's aged in wooden casks, I think that's pretty cool
Yeah, I think you always hear about that in the commercials and such. What's something more obscure?
There's a ton of rules regarding the regulation of whisky. Under Scotch Whisky Regulations a single malt scoth whisky must be ages for at least 3 years in an oak cask.
Oh okay, I didn't realize there were things you HAD to do. I guess that makes sense, to not have it be so ambiguous. 
Yep, and it's all classified by the different types of fermentation of grains!
What's the coolest fact about it that you want to leave me with?
My favorite bit of whisky trivia, the name whiskey was translated to Old Irish as "water of life" lol