User: Can you write me a poem about ars poetica and roman scipio in the style of Henrietta Christian Wright?
Assistant: Sure, here's a poem about ars poetica and roman scipio in the style of Henrietta Christian Wright:
  December. Several reimpressions followed, as did another London
Horace's _Ars Poetica_ was one of the most fertile sources for
Aristotle's _Poetics_.
(217)--constitutes an unspoken comment on Bramston's subject.[E]
Bramston's page 27 corresponds to Horace's brief history of the
theatre, from Thespis's tragedies that he staged on wagons to the
character expected of a modern clergyman.
Sometimes the mere fact of changing from a poetic to a political
context produces the satire or humour. What is praiseworthy in a
In Falsehood Probability imploys,
Nor his old Lies with newer Lies destroys. (p. 16)
Not unlike Paintings, Principles appear,
Some best at distance, some when we are near. (p. 36)
More humourous than satirical is the relation between Horace's
The Middle way the best we sometimes call.
But 'tis in Politicks no way at all.
There is no Medium: for the term in vogue
On either side is, Honest Man, or Rogue. (pp. 37-38)
The conclusion of the poem involves a somewhat more complex
transformation. Horace closes with a humourously self-deprecating
up-to-date, as shown by his reference to the recent events in the
For a son of Christ Church, one of the most Tory Colleges of Tory
To _Likelihood_ your _Characters_ confine;
Don't turn _Sir Paul_ out, let _Sir Paul_ resign.
In _Walpole_'s Voice (if Factions Ill intend)
Give _Maidston_ Wit, and Elegance refin'd;
To both the _Pelhams_ give the _Scipios_ Mind;
To _Cart'ret_, Learning, Eloquence, and Parts;
To _George_ the _Second_, give all _English_ Hearts. (p. 13)
Such artless art did ever mortal see,
Or politicks so void of policy?
What bard but this could Pelham's train compare
To Roman Scipio's thunder-bolts of war?
Did e'er their wars enrich their native isle,
With foreign treasures and with Spanish spoil?
But hark! and stare with all your ears and eyes!
Walpole is friend to Universities!
Hail politician bard! we ask not whether
A whig or tory; thou art both and neither.
Poultney and Walpole each adorn thy lays,
Which one for love, and one for money praise.
Alike are mention'd, equally are sung
Will. Shippen staunch, and slight Sir Wm. Young.
Bromley and Wyndham share the motley strain,
With Cart'ret, Maidstone, and the Pelhams twain.[F]
This critic finds two main faults in the poem: misinformation and
journalist:
What an Assurance has the Kingdom already given of an
unfeigned Affection to their Majesties Persons and
Government? How do the People shew that none are acceptable
to them, but those that are so to their Majesties? How can
Subjects give stronger Proofs of the high Esteem they have
their Sovereign in, for Penetration and Wisdom, than those
who entirely rely upon the Royal Discerning, and regulate
their Conduct by the King's Direction?[L]
The Queen is hated, the King despised, their son both the
one and the other, and such a spirit of disaffection to the
family and general discontent with the present Government is
spread all over the Kingdom, that it is absolutely
impossible for things to go on in the track they are now
Alas Poor Me, you may my fortune guess:
I write, and yet Humanity profess:
I love the King, the Queen, and Royal Race:
I like the Government, but want no Place:
Was never in a Plot, my Brain's not hurt;
I Politicks to Poetry convert.
line 11. Patriots: the self-awarded designation of the major
group of Walpole's opponents.
principle was to keep France at peace with the rest of Europe.
line 12. Repetition Day: a day on which schoolboys recite
memorized lessons.
P. 7, line 10. Pinkethman: William Pinkethman (or Penkethman) (d.
line 12. Maypole: This remarkable barometer of intellectual
acquired it and presented it to James Pound to use as a telescope
P. 8, line 2. Newer Square: Cavendish Square, according to Horace
line 6. The bridge at Putney Ferry was completed in 1729.
lines 6-7. "Caleb D'Anvers" was the pseudonym under which
appeared _The Craftsman_, the opposition journal directed by
Bolingbroke and Pultney. Bramston's expression of ignorance must
be ironic.
line 12. The "Kentish Petition" was presented to the
line 6. the Bar: The Bar marked the outer limit of the House,
lines 11-12. The "one cause" is presumably Walpole's patronage.
The Cornish constituencies were notoriously corrupt even by
eighteenth-century standards, and Walpole cultivated the Scots
P. 20, line 8. Polly Peachum is of course the heroine of Gay's
_Beggar's Opera_. The role was played by Lavinia Fenton, who
typography of which perhaps indicates hasty composition:
But you cast them like a Lubboard
And did soon dispatch him.
line 10. To sell bargains is to return indecent answers to
civil questions.
lines 7-8. "Oldfieldismus" and "Kibberismus" refer respectively
line 11. Tallboy was a booby young lover in Richard Brome's
line 14. Cibber's opera is _Love in a Riddle_ (1729), designed
P. 29, line 6. Where Edmund Curll stood was in the pillory.
line 4. John Banks was the author of _The Unhappy Favourite; or
believed her. See Pope's poem on her, _TE_, 6, 259, and Hogarth's
throws: i.e., throes, labor pains.
P. 35, line 1. Tonson: Jacob Tonson, prominent bookseller.
line 9. Cler. Dom. Com.: "Clerk of the House of Commons."
P. 36, line 2. Die Martis is Tuesday; Thursday is Die Jovis.
line 6. Wyndham: Sir William Wyndham, MP for Somerset 1710-40,
printed.
The facsimile of _The Art of Politicks_ (1729) is reproduced by
permission from a copy of the first edition (Shelf Mark:
*PR3326/B287A8; Foxon B383) in the William Andrews Clark Memorial
Printed for LAWTON GILLIVER, at _Homer_'s
_Head_ against St. _Dunstan_'s Church in _Fleet-Street_.
If to a Human Face Sir _James_ should draw
A Gelding's Mane, and Feathers of Maccaw,
A Lady's Bosom, and a Tail of Cod,
Who could help laughing at a Sight so odd?
Just such a Monster, Sirs, pray think before ye,
When you behold one Man both _Whig_ and _Tory_.
Not more extravagant are Drunkard's Dreams,
Than _Low-Church_ Politicks with _High-Church_ Schemes.
Painters, you'll say, may their own Fancies use,
And Freeborn _Britons_ may their _Party_ chuse;
That's true, I own: but can one Piece be drawn
 Speakers profess'd, who Gravity pretend,)
With motley Sentiments their Speeches blend:)
Begin like Patriots, and like Courtiers end.)
Some love to roar, _the Constitution's broke_,
And others on the _Nation's Debts_ to joke;
Some rail, (they hate a Commonwealth so much,)
What e'er the Subject be, against the _Dutch_;
While others, with more fashionable Fury,
Begin with _Turnpikes_, and conclude with _Fleury_;
Some, when th' Affair was _Blenheim_'s glorious Battle,
Declaim'd against importing _Irish Cattle_.
But you, from what e'er Side you take your Name,
Like _Anna_'s _Motto_, always be the same.
 Outsides deceive, 'tis hard the Truth to know;)
_Parties_ from quaint Denominations flow,)
As _Scotch_ and _Irish_ Antiquaries show.)
The _Low_ are said to take Fanaticks Parts,
The _High_ are bloody _Papists_ in their Hearts.
Caution and Fear to highest Faults have run;
In pleasing both the Parties, you please none.
Who in the _House_ affects declaiming Airs,
_Whales_ in _Change-Alley_ paints: in _Fish-Street, Bears_.
Some Metaphors, some Handkerchiefs display;)
These peep in Hats, while those with Buttons play,)
And make me think it _Repetition-Day_;)
There Knights haranguing hug a neighb'ring Post,
And are but _Quorum_ Orators at most.
Sooner than thus my want of Sense expose,)
I'd deck out Bandy-Legs with Gold-Clock't Hose,)
Or wear a Toupet-Wig without a Nose.)
Nay, I would sooner have thy Phyz, I swear,
 Ye _Weekly Writers_ of seditious _News_,
Take Care your _Subjects_ artfully to chuse,
Write _Panegyrick_ strong, or boldly _rail_,
You cannot miss _Preferment_, or a _Goal_.
Wrap up your Poison well, nor fear to say
What was a Lye last Night is Truth to Day;
Tell this, sink that, arrive at _Ridpath_'s Praise,
Let _Abel Roper_ your Ambition raise.
To Lye fit Opportunity observe,
Saving some double Meaning in reserve;
But oh, you'll merit everlasting Fame,
If you can quibble on Sir _Robert_'s Name.
Talk Words scarce known in good Queen _Besse_'s days.
New Terms let War or Traffick introduce,
And try to bring _Persuading Ships_ in Use.
Coin Words: in coining ne'er mind common Sense,
 Like _South-Sea Stock_, Expressions rise and fall:
King _Edward_'s Words are now no Words at all.
Did ought your Predecessors Genius cramp?
Sure ev'ry Reign may have it's proper Stamp.
All Sublunary things of Death partake;
What Alteration does a Cent'ry make?
Kings and Comedians all are mortal found,
_Caesar_ and _Pinkethman_ are under Ground.
What's not destroy'd by Times devouring Hand?
Where's _Troy_, and where's the _May-Pole_ in the _Strand_?
Pease, Cabbages, and Turnips once grew, where
Now stands new _Bond-street_, and a newer Square;
Such Piles of Buildings now rise up and down;
London itself seems going out of _Town_.
Our Fathers cross'd from _Fulham_ in a Wherry,
Their Sons enjoy a Bridge at _Putney-Ferry_.
Think we that modern Words eternal are?
Hereafter will be call'd by some plain Man
To Things themselves if Time such change affords,
Can there be any trusting to our Words.
 To screen good Ministers from Publick rage,)
And how with Party Madness to engage,)
We learn from _Addison_'s immortal Page.)
The _Jacobite_'s ridiculous Opinion
Is seen from _Tickel_'s Letter to _Avignon_.
But who puts _Caleb_'s _Country-Craftsman_ out,
Is still a secret, and the World's in doubt.
 Not long since _Parish-Clerks_, with saucy airs,
Apply'd _King David_'s _Psalms_ to _State-Affairs_.
Some certain _Tunes_ to Politicks belong,
On both Sides Drunkards love a Party-Song.
 If full a-cross the Speaker's Chair I go,
Can I be said the _Rules_ o'th' _House_ to know?
I'll ask, nor give offence without intent,
Nor through meer Sheepishness be impudent.
 In _Acts of Parliament_ avoid Sublime,
Nor e'er Address his Majesty in Rhime;
An _Act of Parliament_'s a serious thing,
Begins with Year of Lord and Year of King;
Keeps close to Form, in every word is strict,
When it would _Pains_ and _Penalties_ inflict.
Soft Words suit best _Petitioners_ intent;
 Who e'er harangues before he gives his Vote,
Should send sweet Language from a tuneful Throat.
_Pultney_ the coldest Breast with Zeal can fire,
And _Roman Thoughts_ by _Attick Stile_ inspire;
He knows from tedious Wranglings to beguile
The serious _House_ into a chearful Smile;
When the great Patriot paints his anxious Fears
For _England_'s Safety, I am lost in Tears.
But when dull Speakers strive to move compassion,
I pity their poor Hearers, not the Nation:
Unless young _Members_ to the purpose speak,
I fall a laughing, or I fall asleep.
 Can Men their inward Faculties controul?
Laugh not in time of _Service_ to your God,
Nor bully, when in _Custody_ o'th' _Rod_;
Look Grave, and be from Jokes and Grinning far,
When brought to sue for Pardon at the _Bar_.
If then you let your ill-tim'd Wit appear,
Knights, Citizens, and Burgesses will sneer.
 For Land, or Trade, not the same Notions sire
Their Climes are distant, tho' one Cause unites
 To _Likelihood_ your _Characters_ confine;
Don't turn _Sir Paul_ out, let _Sir Paul_ resign.
In _Walpole_'s Voice (if Factions Ill intend)
Give _Maidston_ Wit, and Elegance refin'd;
To both the _Pelhams_ give the _Scipios_ Mind;
To _Cart'ret_, Learning, Eloquence, and Parts;
To _George_ the _Second_, give all _English_ Hearts.
 Sometimes fresh Names in Politicks produce,
And Factions yet unheard of introduce;
And if you dare attempt a thing so new,
Make to itself the _Flying-Squadron_ true.
 To speak is free, no _Member_ is debarr'd:
But _Funds_ and _National Accounts_ are hard:
Safer on common Topicks to discourse,
On these each Coffee-House will lend a hint,
Besides a thousand things that are in Print.
But steal not Word for Word, nor Thought for Thought:
For you'll be teaz'd to death, if you are caught.
When Factious Leaders boast increasing strength,
Go not too far, nor follow ev'ry Length:
Leave room for Change, turn with a grace about,
And swear you left 'em, when you found 'em out,
 With Art and Modesty your Part maintain:
And talk like _Col'nel Titus_, not like _Lane_;
The Trading-Knight with Rants his Speech begins,
But _Titus_ said, with his uncommon Sense,
When the _Exclusion-Bill_ was in suspense,
I hear a Lyon in the Lobby roar;
Say, Mr. Speaker, shall we shut the door
And keep him there, or shall we let him in
To try if we can turn him out again?
 Some mighty Blusterers _Impeach_ with noise,
And call their Private Cry, the Nation's Voice;
 From Folio's of Accounts they take their handles,
And the whole Ballance proves a pound of Candles;
As if _Paul_'s Cupola were brought to bed,
After hard Labour, of a small Pin's Head.
 Some _Rufus_, some the _Conqueror_ bring in,
And some from _Julius Caesar_'s days begin.
A cunning Speaker can command his chaps,
And when the _House_ is not in humour, stops;
In Falsehood Probability imploys,
Nor his old Lies with newer Lies destroys.
 If when you speak, you'd hear a Needle fall,
And make the frequent _hear-hims_ rend the wall,
In matters suited to your Taste engage,
Remembring still your Quality and Age.
Thy task be this, young Knight, and hear my Song
What Politicks to ev'ry Age belong.
 When _Babes_ can speak, _Babes_ should be taught to say,
_King George the Second_'s Health, Huzza, Huzza!
_Boys_ should learn _Latin_ for _Prince William_'s sake,
And Girls _Louisa_ their Example make.
 More loves the _Youth_, just come to his Estate,
To range the fields, than in the _House_ debate;
More he delights in fav'rite Jowler's Tongue,
If in one Chase he can two Horses kill,
Loud in his Wine, in Women not o'er nice,
He damns his Uncles if they give advice;
Votes as his Father did, when there's a _Call_,
But had much rather, never Vote at all.
 We take a diff'rent Turn at _Twenty-six_,
And lofty thoughts on some Lord's Daughter fix;
With Men in Pow'r strict Friendship we persue,
With some considerable Post in view.
A Man of _Forty_ fears to change his Note,
One way to Speak, and t'other way to Vote;
Careful his Tongue in Passion to command,
Avoids the Bar, and Speaker's Reprimand.
 In Bags the _Old Man_ lets his Treasure rust,
Afraid to use it, or the Funds to trust;
When Stocks are low, he wants the heart to buy,
And through much caution sees 'em rise too high;
Thinks nothing rightly done since _Seventy-eight_,
Swears present _Members_ do not talk, but prate:
In _Charles the Second_'s days, says he, ye Prigs,
_Torys_ were _Torys_ then, and _Whigs_ were _Whigs_.
Alas! this is a lamentable Truth,
We lose in age, as we advance in youth:
I laugh, when twenty will like eighty talk,
And old _Sir John_ with _Polly Peachum_ walk.
When pockets suffer, and when anger burns,
O Thing surpassing faith! Knight strives with Knight,
When both have brib'd, and neither's in the right.
The Bayliff's self is sent for in that case,
And all the Witnesses had face to face.
Selected _Members_ soon the fraud unfold,
In full Committee of the _House_ 'tis told;
Th' incredible Corruption is destroy'd,
The Chairman's angry, and th' Election void.
 Those who would captivate the well-bred throng,
Should not too often speak, nor speak too long:
Church, nor Church Matters ever turn to Sport,
Nor make _St. Stephen's Chappel_, _Dover-Court_.
 The _Speaker_, when the Commons are assembl'd,
May to the _Graecian Chorus_ be resembl'd;
'Tis his the Young and Modest to espouse,
And see none draw, or challenge in the _House_:
'Tis his Old Hospitality to use,
And three good Printers for the _House_ to chuse;
To let each Representative be heard,
And take due care the _Chaplain_ be preferr'd,
To hear no _Motion_ made that's out of joint,
And where he spies his _Member_, make his point.
 To Knights new chosen in old time would come
The _County Trumpet_, and perhaps a _Drum_;
Now when a Burgess new Elect appears,
When the majority the Town-clerk tells,
His Honour pays the Fiddles, Waits, and Bells:
Harangues the _Mob_, and is as wise and great,
As the most Mystic Oracle of State.
 When the Duke's Grandson for the County stood,
His Beef was fat, and his October good;
His Lordship took each Ploughman by the fist,
Drunk to their Sons, their Wives and Daughters kiss'd;
But when strong Beer their Freeborn Hearts inflames,
They sell him Bargains, and they call him Names.
Thus is it deem'd in _English_ Nobles wise
To stoop for no one reason but to rise.
 Election matters shun with cautious awe,
A Judge by Bribes as much himself degrades,
 Try not with Jests obscene to force a Smile,
Nor lard your Speech with Mother _Needham_'s Stile:
Let not your tongue to =Oldphieldismus= run,
And =Kibberismus= with abhorrence shun;
Let not your looks affected words disgrace,
Nor join with silver Tongue a brazen Face;
Let not your hands, like Tallboys, be employ'd,
And the mad rant of Tragedy avoid.
Just in your Thoughts, in your Expression clear,
Neither too modest, nor too bold appear.
 Others in vain a like Success will boast,
He speaks most easy, who has study'd most.
 A Peer's pert Heir has to the Commons spoke
A vile Reflection, or a Bawdy Joke;
Call'd to the House of Lords, of this beware,
'Tis what the _Bishops Bench_ will never bear.
Amongst the _Commons_ is such freedom shown,
They lash each other, and attack the Throne:
Yet so unskilful or so fearful some,
 When _James_ the _first_, at great _Britannia_'s helm,
Rul'd this word-clipping and word-coining Realm,
No words to Royal favour made pretence,
But what agreed in sound and clash'd in sense.
Thrice happy he! how great that Speaker's praise,
Whose ev'ry Period look'd an hundred ways.
What then? we now with just abhorrence shun
The trifling Quibble, and the School-boys Pun;
Tho' no great Connoisseur, I make a shift
Just to find out a _Durfey_ from a _Swift_;
I can discern with half an eye, I hope,
_Mist_ from _Jo Addison_, from _Eusden Pope_:
I know a Farce from one of _Congreve_'s Plays,
And _Cibber_'s Opera from _Johnny Gay_'s.
 When pert _Defoe_ his sawcy Papers writ,
He from a Cart was Pillor'd for his Wit:
By Mob was pelted half a Morning's space,
And rotten Eggs besmear'd his yellow face;
The _Censor_ then improv'd the list'ning Isle,
And held both Parties in an artful Smile.
A Scribbling Crew now pinching Winter brings,)
That spare no earthly nor no heav'nly things,)
But Blasphemy displeases all the Town;)
And for defying Scripture, Law, and Crown,)
_Woolston_ should pay his Fine, and lose his Gown,)
 It must be own'd the _Journals_ try all ways
To merit their respective Party's praise:
They jar in every Article from _Spain_;
A War these threaten, those a Peace maintain:
Tho' Lye they will, to give 'em all their due,
In Foreign matters, and Domestick too.
Whoe'er thou art that would'st a _Postman_ write,
Enquire all day, and hearken all the night.
Might soon exceed th' Intelligence of _France_:
To be out-done old _England_ should refuse,
But Truth is scarce, the Scene of Action large,
And Correspondence an excessive Charge.
 There are who say, no Man can be a Wit
Unless for _Newgate_ or for _Bedlam_ fit;
Let Pamphleteers abusive Satyr write,
To shew a Genius is to shew a Spite:
That Author's Works will ne'er be reckon'd good
Who has not been where _Curl_ the Printer stood.
 Alass Poor Me, you may my fortune guess:
I write, and yet Humanity profess;
(Tho' nothing can delight a modern Judge,
Without ill-nature and a private Grudge)
I love the King, the Queen, and Royal Race:
I like the Government, but want no Place:
And for a Constable, thank God, too high;
Was never in a Plot, my Brain's not hurt;
I Politicks to Poetry convert.
 A Politician must (as I have read)
Be furnish'd, in the first place, with a _Head_:
A _Head_ well fill'd with _Machiavelian_ Brains,
And stuff'd with Precedents of former Reigns:
Must Journals read, and _Magna Charta_ quote;
But acts still wiser, if he speaks by _Note_:
Learns well his Lesson, and ne'er fears mistakes:
For Ready Money Ready Speakers makes;
He must Instructions and Credentials draw,
Pay well the Army, and protect the Law:
Give to his Country what's his Country's due,
But first help _Brothers_, _Sons_, and _Cousins_ too.
He must read _Grotius_ upon War and Peace,
And the twelve Judges Salary encrease.
He must oblige old Friends and new Allies,
And find out _Ways and Means_ for fresh _Supplies_.
He must the Weavers Grievances redress,
And Merchants wants in Merchants words express.
 Dramatick Poets that expect the Bays,
Should cull our Histories for Party Plays;
_Wickfort's Embassador_ should fill their head,
And the _State-Tryals_ carefully be read:
For what is _Dryden_'s Muse and _Otway_'s Plots
 'Tis said that _Queen Elizabeth_ could speak,
At twelve years old, right _Attick_ full-mouth'd _Greek_;
Hence was the Student forc'd at _Greek_ to drudge,
If he would be a Bishop, or a Judge.
Divines and Lawyers now don't think they thrive,
'Till promis'd places of men still alive:
How old is such an one in such a Post?
The answer is, he's seventy-five almost:
Neither is young, and one's as old as _Paul_'s.
Will Men, that ask such Questions, publish books
 On Tender Subjects with discretion touch,
And never say too little, or too much.
On Trivial Matters Flourishes are wrong,
Motions for Candles never should be long:
Or if you move, in case of sudden Rain,
To shut the Windows, speak distinct and plain.
Unless you talk good _English_ downright Sense,
Can you be understood by Serjeant _Spence_?
 New Stories always should with Truth agree
Or Truth's half-Sister, Probability:
Scarce could _Toft_'s Rabbits and pretended throws
On half the Honourable _House_ impose.
 When _Cato_ speaks, young _Shallow_ runs away,
And swears it is so dull he cannot stay:
When Rakes begin on Blasphemy to border,
_Bromley_ and _Hanmer_ cry aloud---- _To Order_.
The point is this, with manly Sense and ease
T' inform the Judgment, and the Fancy please.
Praise it deserves, nor difficult the thing,
At once to serve one's Countrey and one's King.
Such Speeches bring the wealthy _Tonson_'s gain,)
From Age to Age they minuted remain,)
As Precedents for George the twentieth's Reign.)
 Is there a Man on earth so perfect found,
Who ne'er mistook a word in Sense or Sound?
Not Blund'ring, but persisting is the fault;
No mortal Sin is _Lapsus Linguae_ thought:
Clerks may mistake; consid'ring who 'tis from,
I pardon little Slips in _Cler. Dom. Com._
But let me tell you I'll not take his part,
If ev'ry _Thursday_ he date _Die Mart_.
Of Sputt'ring mortals 'tis the fatal curse,
By mending Blunders still to make 'em worse.
Men sneer when---- gets a lucky Thought,
And stare if _Wyndham_ should be nodding caught.
But sleeping's what the wisest men may do,
Should the Committee chance to sit 'till Two.
 Not unlike Paintings, Principles appear,
Some best at distance, some when we are near.
The love of Politicks so vulgar's grown,
My Landlord's Party from his Sign is known:
Mark of _French_ wine, see _Ormond_'s Head appear,
While _Marlb'rough_'s Face directs to Beer and Beer:
Some _Buchanan_'s, the _Pope_'s Head some like best,
The _Devil Tavern_ is a standing jest.
 Whoe'er you are that have a Seat secure,
Duly return'd, and from _Petition_ sure,
Stick to your Friends in whatsoe'er you say;
With strong aversion shun the Middle way:
The Middle way the best we sometimes call,
But 'tis in Politicks no way at all.
A _Trimmer_'s what both Parties turn to sport,
By Country hated, and despis'd at Court.
Who would in earnest to a Party come,
Must give his Vote, not whimsical, but plumb.
There is no Medium: for the term in vogue
On either side is, Honest Man, or Rogue.
Can it be difficult our Minds to show,
 In all Professions, Time and Pains give Skill,
Without hard Study, dare Physicians kill?
Can he that ne'er read Statutes or Reports,
Give Chamber-Counsel, or urge Law in Courts?
But ev'ry Whipster knows Affairs of State,
Nor fears on nicest Subjects to debate.
A Knight of eighteen hundred pounds a year--
Who minds his Head, if his Estate be clear?
Sure he may speak his mind, and tell the _House_,
He matters not the Government a Louse.
Lack-learning Knights, these things are safely said
To Friends in private, at the _Bedford-Head_:
But in the _House_, before your Tongue runs on,
Consult _Sir James_, _Lord William_'s dead and gone.
Words to recall is in no Member's power,
One single word may send you to the _Tower_.
 The wrong'd to help, the lawless to restrain,
Thrice ev'ry Year, in ancient _Egbert_'s Reign,
The _Members_ to the _Mitchelgemot_ went,
In after Ages call'd the _Parliament_;
Early the _Mitchelgemot_ did begin
T' enroll their Statutes, on a Parchment Skin:
For impious Treason hence no room was left,
Since when the Senates power both Sexes know
Now wholesom Laws young Senators bring in
Since such the nature of the _British_ State,
The power of _Parliament_ so old and great,
Ye 'Squires and _Irish_ Lords, 'tis worth your care)
To be return'd for City, Town, or Shire,)
 Some doubt, which to a Seat has best Pretence,
But never any Member feats will do,
Without a Head-piece and a Pocket too;
Sense is requir'd the depth of Things to reach,
And Money gives Authority to Speech.
 A Man of Bus'ness won't 'till ev'ning dine;
Abstains from Women, Company, and Wine:
From _Fig_'s new Theatre he'll miss a Night,
Tho' Cocks, and Bulls, and _Irish_ Women fight:
Nor sultry Sun, nor storms of soaking Rain,
The Man of Bus'ness from the _House_ detain:
Nor speaks he for no reason but to say,
I am a _Member_, and I spoke to day.
I speak sometimes, you'll hear his Lordship cry,
Because Some speak that have less Sense than I.
 The Man that has both Land and Money too
May wonders in a Trading Borough do:
They'll praise his Ven'son, and commend his Port,)
Turn their two former Members into Sport,)
And, if he likes it, Satyrize the Court.)
But at a Feast 'tis difficult to know
From real Friends an undiscover'd Foe;
The man that swears he will the Poll secure,
And pawns his Soul that your Election's sure,
Suspect that man: beware, all is not right,
He's, ten to one, a Corporation-Bite.
 Alderman _Pond_, a downright honest Man,
Would say, I cannot help you, or I can:
To spend your Money, Sir, is all a jest;
Matters are settled, set your heart at rest:
We've made a Compromise, and, Sir, you know,
That sends one Member _High_, and t'other _Low_.
But if his good Advice you would not take,
He'd scorn your Supper, and your Punch forsake:
Leave you of mighty Interest to brag,
 _Parliamenteering_ is a sort of Itch,
That will too oft unwary Knights bewitch.
Two good Estates Sir _Harry Clodpole_ spent;
Sate thrice, but spoke not once, in Parliament:
Two good Estates are gone--Who'll take his word?
Oh! should his Uncle die, he'd spend a third:
He'd buy a House, his happiness to crown,
Within a mile of some good _Borough-Town_;
Tag, Rag, and Bobtail to Sir _Harry_'s run,
Men that have Votes, and Women that have none:
Sons, Daughters, Grandsons, with his Honour dine;
He keeps a Publick-House without a Sign.
Coolers and Smiths extol th' ensuing Choice,
And drunken Taylors boast their right of Voice.
Dearly the free-born neighbourhood is bought,
They never leave him while he's worth a groat:
So Leeches stick, nor quit the bleeding wound,
Till off they drop with Skinfuls to the ground.
 Humano capiti cervicem Pictor equinam
Jungere si velit, & varias inducere plumas,
Undiq; collatis membris, ut turpiter atrum
Desinat in piscem mulier formosa superne:
Spectatum admissi, risum teneatis, amici?
Credite, Pisones, isti tabulae fore librum
Persimilem, cujus, velit aegri somnia, vanae
Fingentur species. Pictoribus atq; Poetis
Quidlibet audendi semper fuit aequa potestas;
Scimus, & hanc veniam petimusq; damusq; vicissim:
Sed non ut placidis coeant immitia, non ut
Serpentes avibus geminentur, tigribus agni.
 Incoeptis gravibus plerumq; & magna professis
Purpureus late qui splendeat unus & alter
Assuitur pannus, cum lucus & ara Dianae,
Aut properantis aquae per amaenos ambitus agros,
Aut flumen Rhenum, aut pluvius describitur arcus;
Sed nunc non erar his locus: & fortasse cupressum,
Scis simulare, quid hoc, si fractis enatat exspes
Navibus, aere dato qui pingitur? amphora caepit
Institui, currente rota cur urceus exit?
Deniq; sit quidvis simplex duntaxat & unum.
 Decipimur specie recti; brevis esse laboro,
Obscurus fio: sectantem laevia, nervi
Deficiunt animique: professus grandia, turget.
Qui variare cupit rem prodigialiter unam
Delphinum sylvis appingit, fluctibus aprum.
In vitium ducit culpae fuga, si caret arte.
AEmilium circa ludum faber imus & ungues
Exprimet, & molles imitabitur ore capillos;
Infelix operis summa, quia ponere totum
Nesciet; hunc ego me, si quid componere curem,
Non magis esse velim, quam pravo vivere naso
Spectandum nigris oculis nigroq; capillo.
 Sumite materiam vestris, qui scribitis, aequam
Viribus; & versate diu, quid ferre recusent,
Quid valeant humeri: cui lecta potenter erit res,
Nec facundia deseret hunc nec lucidus ordo.
Ordinis haec virtus erit & venus, aut ego fallor,
Ut jam nunc dicat jam nunc debentia dici:
Pleraq; differat, & praesens in tempus omittat.
Dixeris egregie, notum si callida verbum
Reddiderit junctura novum; si forte necesse est
Indiciis monstrare recentibus abdita rerum
Fingere cinctutis non exaudita Cethegis
Continget, dabiturq; licentia sumpta pudenter
Et nova sictaq; nuper habebunt verba fidem, si
Graeco fonte cadant.
 ---- licuit, semperque licebit
Signatum praesente nota procudere nomen.
Ut Sylvae foliis pronos mutantur in annos:
Prima cadunt, ita verborum vetus interit aetas,
Debemur morti nos nostraq; sive receptus
Terra Neptunus classes aquilonibus arcet,
Regis opus, sterilisve diu palus aptaque remis
Vicinas urbes alit & grave sentit aratrum.
Seu cursum mutavit iniquum frugibus amnis
Doctus iter melius; mortalia facta peribunt,
Nedum sermonum stet honos & gratia vivax.
Multa renascentur quae jam cecidere, cadentq;
Quae nunc sunt in honore vocabula, si volet usus,
Quem penes arbitrium est & jus norma loquendi.
 Res gestae regumq; ducumq; & tristia bella
Quo scribi possent numero, monstravit Homerus.
Versibus impariter junctis querimonia primum,
Post etiam voti inclusa est voti sententia compos.
Quis tamen exiguos elegos emiserit auctor
Grammatici certant, & adhuc sub judice lis est.
 Musa dedit fidibus Divos puerosq; Deorum,
Et pugilem victorem, & equum certamine primum,
Et juvenum curas, & libera vina referre.
 Descriptas servare vices operumq; colores
Cur ego si nequeo ignoroq;, poeta salutor?
Cur nescire pudens prave quam discere malo?
 Versibus exponi tragicis res comica nonvult
Indignatur item privatis ac prope socco
Dignis carminibus narrari caena Thyestae,
Interdum tamen & vocem Comaedia tollit,
Iratusq; Chremes tumido delitigat ore.
Telephus & Peleus, cum pauper & exul uterq;,
Projicit ampullas & sesqui pedalia verba.
 Non fatis est est pulchra esse Poemata, dulcia sunto.
Ut ridentibus arrident, ita flentibus adflent
Humani vultus; si vis me flere, dolendum est
Primum ipsi tibi: tunc tua me infortunia laedent
Telephe, vel Peleu; male si mandata loqueris,
Aut dormitabo aut ridebo.
 Format enim Natura prius nos intus ad omnem
Fortunarum habitum, &c.
Post effert animi motus interprete Lingua
---- tristia maestum
Vultum verba decent, &c.
Si dicentis erunt fortunis absona dicta,
Romani tollent equites peditesq; cachinnum.
 Intererit multum Divusne loquetur, an Heros:
Mercatorne vagus, cultorne virentis agelli:
Colchus, an Assyrius: Thebis nutritus, an Argis.
 Aut famam sequere, aut sibi convenientia finge
Scriptor; honoratum si forte reponis Achillem,
Impiger, iracundus, inexorabilis, acer,
Jura neget sibi nata, nihil non arroget armis;
Sit Medea ferox invictaq;, flebilis Ino,
Perfidus Ixion, Io vaga, tristis Orestes.
 Siquid inexpertum scenae committis, & audes
Personam formare novam, servetur ad imum
Qualis ab incaepto processerit, & sibi constet.
 Difficile est proprie communia dicere: tuq;
Rectius Iliacum carmen deducis in actus,
Quam si proferres ignota indictaq; primus;
Publica materies privati juris erit, si
Nec circa vilem patulumq; moraberis orbem,
Nec verbum verbo curabis reddere fidus
Interpres, nec sic desilies imitator in arctum
Unde pedem proferre pudor vetet aut operis lex.
 Nec sic incipies ut Scriptor Cyclicus olim.
Fortunam Priami cantabo & nobile bellum;
Quanto rectius hic qui nil molitur inepte,
Dic mihi Musa virum captae post tempera Trojae
Qui mores hominum multorum vidit & urbes.
 Non fumum ex fulgore, sed ex fumo dare lucem
 Quid dignum tanto feret hic promissor hiatu?
Parturiunt montes, nascetur ridiculus mus.
 Nec reditum Diomedis ab interitu Meleagri,
Nec gemino bellum Trojanum orditur ab ovo;
Desperat tractata nitescere posse, relinquit;
Atq; ita mentitur, sic veris falsa remiscet
Primo ne medium, medio ne discrepet imum.
 Tu quid ego & populus mecum desideret, audi;
Si plausoris eges aulaea manentis, & usq;
Sessuri donec cantor, Vos plaudite, dicat,
AEtatis cujusq; notandi sunt tibi mores,
Mobilibusq; decor naturis dandus & annis.
 Reddere qui voces jam scit puer, & pede certo
Signat humum, gestit paribus colludere, & iram
Colligit ac ponit temere, & mutantur in horas.
 Imberbis juvenis, tandem custode remoto,
Gaudet equis canibusq; & aprici gramine campi:
Cereus in vitium flecti, monitoribus asper,
Sublimis, cupidusq; & amata relinquere pernix.
 Conversis studiis aetas animusq; virilis
Quaerit opes & amicitias, infervit honori,
Commisisse cavet quod mox mutare laboret.
 Multa senem circum veniunt incommoda, vel quod
Quaerit & inventis miser abstinet ac timet uti:
Dilator, spe longus iners, avidusq; futuri,
Difficilis, querulus, laudator temporis acti
Se puero, censor castigatorq; minorum.
Multa ferunt anni venientes commoda secum,
Multa recedentes adimunt; ne forte viriles
Mandentur juveni partes, pueroq; viriles,
Semper in adjunctis aevoq; morabimur aptis.
 Aut agitur res in Scenis, aut acta refertur;
Segnius irritant aminos demissa per aures,
Quam quae sunt oculis subjecta fidelibus, & quae
Ipse sibit tradit Spectator.
Quodcunq; ostendis mihi sic, incredulus odi.
 Neve minor, neu sit quinto productior actu
Fabula, quae posci vult & spectata reponi;
Nec Deus intersit, nisi dignus vindice nodus
Inciderit, nec quarta loqui persona laboret.
 Actoris partes Chorus officiumq; virile
Defendat: neu quid medios intercinat actus
Quod non proposito conducat & haereat apte;
Ille bonis faveatq; & concilietur amicis,
Et regat iratos, & amet peccare timentes:
Ille dapes laudet mensae brevis, ille salubrem
Justitiam, legesq; & apertis otia portis;
Ille tegat commissa, Deosq; precetur & oret
Ut redeat miseris, abeat fortuna superbis.
 Tibia non, ut nunc, Orichalco vincta, tubaeq;
AEmula, sed tenuis simplexq; foramine pauco,
Aspirare & adesse choris erat utilis, &c.
Postquam coepit agros extendere victor, & urbem
Latior amplecti, muros, &c.
Accessit numerisq; modisq; licentia major;
Sic etiam fidibus voces crevere severis,
Et tulit eloquium insolitum facundia praeceps:
Utiliumq; sagax rerum & divina futuri
Sortilegis non discrepuit sententia Delphis.
 Carmine qui tragico vilem certavit ob hircum
Incolumi gravitate jocum tentavit, eo quod
Illecebris erat & grata novitate morandus
Spectator, functusq; sacris, & potus, & exlex.
 Effutire leves indigna Tragoedia versus,
Ut festis matrona moveri jussa diebus,
Intererit Satyris paulum pudibunda protervis.
 Non ego inornata & dominantia nomina solum
Verbaq; Pisones, Satyrorum scriptor amabo;
Nec sic enitar Tragico differre colori
Ut nihil intersit Davusne loquatur, an audax
Pythias, emuncto lucrata Simone talentum:
An custos famulusque Dei Silenus alumni,
 Ut sibi quivis
Speret idem, sudet multum frustraq; laboret.
 Ne nimium teneris juvenentur versibus unquam,
Aut immunda crepent ignominiosaq; dicta:
Offenduntur enim, quibus est equus & pater & res,
Nec si quid fricti ciceris probat & nucis emtor
AEquis accipiunt animis, donantve corona.
 At nostri proavi Plautinos & numeros &
Laudavere sales, nimium patienter utrumq;
Ne dicam stulte, mirati; si modo ego & vos
Scimus inurbanum lepido seponere dictum,
Legitimumq; sonum digitis callemus & aure.
 Ignotum Tragicae genus invenisse Camaenae
Dicitur, & plaustris vexisse poemata Thespis,
Quae canerent agerentq; peruncti faecibus ora;
Post hunc personae pallaeq; repertor honestae
AEichylus & modicis instravit pulpita tignis,
Et docuit magnumq; loqui nitiq; cothurno.
Successit vetus his Comaedia non sine multa
Laude: sed in vitium libertas excidit, & vim
Dignam lege regi; lex est accepta, chorusq;
Turpiter obticuit sublato jure nocendi.
 Nil intentatum nostri liquere Poetae,
Nec minimum meruere decus vestigia Graeca
Ausi deserere, & celebrare domestica facta:
Nee virtute foret clarisve potentius armis,
Quam lingua, Latium, si non offenderet unum
Quemq; Poetarum limae labor & mora.
 Ingenium misera quia fortunatius arte
Credit, & excludit sanos Helicone Poetas
Democritus, bona pars non unguem ponere curat,
Nanciscetur enim pretium nomenq; Poetae
Si tribus Anticyris caput insanabile nunquam
Tonsori Licino commiserit;
 ---- O ego laevus
Qui purgor bilem sub verni temporis horam:
Non alius faceret meliora poemata, verum
Nil tanti est: ergo fungar vice cotis, acutum
Reddere quae ferrum valet exors ipse secandi;
Munus & officium, nil scribens ipse, docebo:
Unde parentur opes, quid alat formetq; Poetam:
Quid deceat, quid non: quo virtus, quo ferat error.
 Scribendi recte sapere est & principium & fons:
Rem tibi Socraticae poterunt ostendere chartae,
Verbaq; provisam rem non invita sequuntur.
Qui didicit patriae quid debeat, & quid amicis,
Quo sit amore parens, quo frater amandus, & hospes,
Quod sit conscripti, quod judicis officium, quae
Partes in bellum missi ducis, ille profecto
Reddere personae scit convenientia cuiq;.
 Respicere exemplar vitae morumq; jubebo
Doctum imitatorem, & veras hinc ducere voces;
Fabula nullius veneris, sine pondere & arte,
Valdius oblectat populum meliusq; moratur,
Quam versus inopes rerum nugaeq; canorae.
 Graiis ingenium, Graiis dedit ore rotundo
Musa loqui, &c.
Romani pueri longis rationibus assem
Filius urbani, si de quincunce remota est
Uncia, quid superest? poteris dixisse, triens, eu
Rem poteris servare tuam.
---- redit uncia, quid sit?
Semis; at haec animos aerugo & cura peculi
Cum semel imbuerit, speramus carmina fingi
Posse linenda cedro & laevi servando cupresso?
 Quicquid praecipies, esto brevis, ut cito dicta
Percipiant animi dociles, teneantq; fideles;
Omne supervacuum pleno de pectore manat.
 Ficta voluptatis causa sint proxima veris:
Nec quodcunq; volet poscat sibi fabula credi,
Neu pransae Lamiae vivum puerum extrabat alvo.
 Centuriae Seniorum agitant expertia frugis:
Celsi praetereunt austera poemata Rhamnes.
Omne tulit punctum qui miscuit utile dulci,
Lectorem delectando, pariterq; monendo;
Hic meret aera liber Sofiis, hic & mare transit,
Et longum noto Scriptori prorogat aevium.
 Sunt delicta tamen, quibus ignovisse velimus;
Non semper feriet quodcunq; minabitur arcus:
Verum ubi plura nitent in carmine, non ego paucis
Offendar maculis, quas aut incuria sudit,
Aut humana parum cavit natura: quid ergo?
Ut scriptor si peccat idem librarius usq;,
Quamvis est monitus, venia caret: ut citharaedus
Ridetur, chorda qui semper oberrat eidem:
Sic mihi qui multum cessat fit Chaerilus ille,
Quem bis terq; bonum cum risu mirror, & idem
Indignor quandoq; bonus dormitat Homerus;
Verum opere in longo fas est obrepere somnum.
 Ut Pictura Poesis erit, quae si propius stes
Te capiet magis & quaedam, si longius abstes;
Haec amet obscurum, volet haec sub luce videri;
Haec placuit semel, haec decies repetita placebit.
 O major juvenum ----    hoc tibi dictum
Tolle memor, certis medium & tolerabile rebus
---- Mediocribus esse Poetis
Non homines, non Dii, non concessere columnae
Sic, animis natum inventumq; Poema juvandis,
Si paulum a summo discessit, vergit ad imum.
 Ludere qui nescit, campestribus abstinet armis:
Indoctusq; pilae, discive, trochive, quiescit,
Ne spissae risum tollant impune coronae;
Qui nescit, versus tamen audet fingere. ----
Liber, & ingenuus, praesertim census equestrem
Summam nummorum, vitioq; remotus ab omni.
Membranis intus positis, delere licebit
Quod non edideris: nescit vox missa reverti.
Sylvestres homines facer interpresq; Deorum
Caedibus & victu faedo deterruit Orpheus,
---- Fuit haec sapientia quondam
Publica privatis secernere, sacra profanis:
Concubitu prohibere vago, dare jura maritis:
Oppida moliri, leges incidere ligno.
---- Dictae per carmina sortes
Et vitae monstrata via est, & gratia regum
Pieriis tentata modis: ludusq; repertus,
Et longorum operum finis.
---- ne forte pudori
Sit tibi Musa lyrae solers & cantor Apollo.
 Natura fieret laudabile carmen, an arte,
Quaesitum est; Ego nec studium sine divite vena,
Nec rude quid profit video ingenium; alterius sic
Altera poscit opem res & conjurat amice.
 Qui studet optatam cursu contingere metam,
Multa tulit fecitq; puer; sudavit & alsit,
Abstinuit vener & vino,
Nunc fatis est dixisse, Ego mira poemata pango:
Occupet extremum scabies, mihi turpe relinqui est,
Et quod non didici sane nescire fateri.
 Assentatores jubet ad lucrum ire Poeta
Dives agris, dives positis in faenore nummis;
Si vero est unctum qui recte ponere possit
Et spondere levi pro paupere, & eripere arctis
Litribus implicitum, mirabor, si sciet inter
Noscere mendacem verumq; beatus amicum.
Tu seu donaris, seu quid donare velis cui,
Noilto ad versus tibi factos ducere plenum
Laetitiae: clamabit enim, pulchre, bene, recte.
---- si carmina condes,
Nunquam te fallant animi sub vulpe latentes
 Quintilio siquid recitares, corrige sodes
Hoc aiebat & hoc: melius te posse negares
Bis terque expertum frustra, delere jubelat.
Si defendere delictum, quam vertere, malles,
Nullum ultra verbum aut operam insumebat inanem,
Quin sine rivali teque & tua solus amares.
 Ut mala quem scabies aut morbus regius urget,
---- dicam Siculiq; poetae
Narrabo interium ----
Nec semel hoc fecit, nec si retractus erit, jam
Indoctum doctumque fugat recitator acerbus:
Quem vero arripuit, tenet occiditq; legendo;
Non missura cutem, nisi plena cruoris, hirudo.