Finding your footing in uncertain times: Balancing multiple kids with multiple schedules

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Language: en

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- [Announcer] The
broadcast is now starting.

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All attendees are in listen only mode.

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- [Vicki] Hi, everybody.

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Thanks so much for joining us today.

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I'm Vicki Lang,

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I'm a learning scientist
here at Khan Academy.

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And I'm joined by Dan
from our marketing team,

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who will be facilitating our Q&A

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toward the end of the broadcast.

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And a special guest, Dr. Lindsay Portnoy,

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she's a cognitive scientist
from Northeastern University,

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who recently published a book
called, "Designed to Learn."

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She's an expert in using design principles

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to work with kids in schools.

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And she's a parent of
two children herself.

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So she's home working,
managing multiple kids,

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and is a great expert to draw from

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for this broadcast today.

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Before we launch into the topic,

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I just wanna thank our sponsors,

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Bank of America, Google.org,
Novartis, Fastly, and AT&T,

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for supporting this broadcast
as well as other webinars

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that we're providing
during this time of crisis.

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So, we've been getting a lot of questions

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about how do I survive at
home with multiple children

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who have different schedules
and different needs,

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and different assignments
and there's only one of me,

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or there's two of me, however many,

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and how do we do this?

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So, we brought this expert
here to talk with you

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about some ideas for that and
I'm gonna let her kick it off.

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- [Lindsay] Thank you, Vicky.

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Thank you for having me everyone.

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I'm excited to be here today.

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So, yeah as Vicki has mentioned,

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I have been working in
education for quite some time,

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and when this whole event transpired,

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I quickly moved to figure out what it was

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that we were going to do
to help support our kids,

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and community, some sense
of scaffolding and support,

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in a time of very uncertainty.

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And so, what I have shared for you today,

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is something that I like
to call, "The Five C's

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"For Bringing Your "A" Game."

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And, what I realized is that we really are

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a very faithful family, and
we do very much seek the joy

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in all of the learning
that we try to do at home.

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And so, the C's that I'd
like to share with you

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are clarity, curation, creativity,
curiosity and compassion.

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And I'm gonna go through each of these

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and show you of how they
addressed those mean questions

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that Vicki has shared previously.

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And Vicki, hopefully, you
can help me along here

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to make sure that we're getting
the most important pieces.

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But the idea is that
we're trying to keep it

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as simple as possible.

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We're trying to be as
realistic as possible,

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given the current constraints.

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As (mumbles) now we have lost power.

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So it's always something exciting and new,

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but simplicity with consistency

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and always leaving room for iteration.

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The first C for clarity,

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I think is a really big
overarching concept,

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which is basically about
establishing expectations,

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understanding communications
and resources.

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And it is really to address
this question here about,

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what ideas you have for scheduling

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with such a diverse group.

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So as Vicki and I were talking

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I shared with my game plan.

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So we use gaming as the analogy,

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what's the game plan with our team?

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So beginning of each week,

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if we have a teacher that's
sending us a week case.

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So what has to be done and by whom?

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And I've created this really
simple and fun looking calendar

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that my kiddos are now at
this point quite used to

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in week eight.

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And they know what's
happening at every time,

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where they will find what they need,

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and where we will find what
we need to help support them,

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where everyone will be in
the house in terms of space.

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We'll talk about that later.

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And then when you know it's
time to stop what you're doing

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and have a break and eat and relax

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and stretch and just and check in with us.

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Also, another really
important part of clarity

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for us has been, why are
you doing what you're doing

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and when are you going to get feedback

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on the work that you're doing?

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And that really is about communication

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and I'll show you later on.

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This is just the big game
plan sheet that we have,

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but later on I'll show
you a little bit about

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how I should check in about
with my kids as they're working

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without necessarily getting up

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and having to physically go to them

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and sit with them every second of the day,

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which became pretty
burdensome pretty quickly.

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Does that makes sense?

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- [Vicki] Yeah, that makes lots of sense.

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And it doesn't work perfectly.

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We just saw I was distracted
'cause my six year old came in

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and had a question for me.

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So it doesn't work perfectly.

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But we have a schedule also at our house

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and we've done another webinar
on that with Khan Academy.

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And this idea of clarity

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and just the kids being on
the same page as the adults

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of understanding what's happening when

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and who to get helpful with

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and why they're doing what they're doing

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is really, really important.

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So how do they know
what to work on Lindsay?

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And how do you prepare it for them?

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- [Lindsay] Good question,
that's a great question.

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So the next C is curation.

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And curation is really
all about preparation.

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So predicting what they're
gonna need and when

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and planning ahead.

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And this reminded me of the question

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that I saw which is,

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how much active caregiver engagement

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should I aim for and when?

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When should I be available?

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Because like many folks out
there, we're working full time.

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And so we have to ensure
that we're doing our work.

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So again, this is a similar picture

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to the other one, but
this is our schedule.

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And the idea is, we have
to know ahead of time

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what the work is that they
have to be doing in each day.

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But we also have to predict
what problems may arise

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and whether it's my two
boys getting in an argument

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over who gets to use the
computer at this time

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or figuring out what hang ups
they might have to log into,

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one of the platforms they use
in my kids' school is Clever.

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So if they have trouble
logging in, where can they go

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and just anticipating what
potential issues they may have.

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And then also making
sure that the materials

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that they need are accessible for them.

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That they know which space
they're gonna be sitting in

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and when in terms of
timing for each child.

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We try to figure out a
day in advance if we can,

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sometimes the week

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and that we can see, who's
gonna need more time and when.

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I mean, I don't know how
you're feeling with your kiddo

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but for us, this has been really helpful

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just to know ahead of time,

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what information we're
gonna need to give to them

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so that we can have it in one place.

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I circled here for you the hyperlinks,

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I'm a big fan of hyperlinking

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because that way they know
where their schedule is,

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everything is in Google Doc.

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And then they click on the hyperlink

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and it takes them right
to where they have to go.

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And there's no questioning,

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they don't have to come and
ask me for the the website

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or the access or whatever,
it's already all there.

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It's like baked into the document.

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- [Vicki] Yeah, and this makes me--

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Oh, sorry, go ahead.

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- [Lindsay] No, I was wondering,

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is this similar to what you're using?

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- [Vicki] Yeah.

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And it makes me think of
when I was in the classroom,

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I was a fifth and sixth grade teacher

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and one of the most
fundamental things you're doing

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when you're a teacher is
anticipating roadblocks

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that kids are gonna hit

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and questions that they're gonna have

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and trying to set them up
for success in advance.

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'Cause can you can you
imagine if there's 27 students

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and they all have different questions,

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and you haven't anticipated that?

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It's a management nightmare.

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So this is a skill that teachers have.

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And when I'm baking with my daughter

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is another thing It makes me think of;

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if you think about
cooking with your children

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when they're young, it helps if you,

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I know it's easier for me if
I set out the measuring tools

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and the ingredients ahead of time,

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and maybe I already have a list

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of how much of each ingredient we need,

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or maybe I've already measured it out,

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and they can just help me by mixing,

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that goes much more
smoothly than if I just say,

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"Hey, let's bake cookies."

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And we go into the
kitchen at the same time

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and I'm looking for stuff

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and she's like eating the chocolate chips

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while I'm not looking and
there's like everything at once.

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It helps a lot, it's hard
sometimes to find the time

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ahead of time to invest to make a plan,

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but on the weeks and days
when I am able to do that,

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the rest of the day
goes much more smoothly.

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That does sound very familiar.

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- [Lindsay] Yeah, absolutely.

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No, I mean for sure that we're familiar

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and again, that was like using
the game as the frame here.

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Knowing the different players

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and knowing what they're gonna need,

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because every kid is gonna
need something different.

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One of my kids is much, much faster

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going through the writing part of his work

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and the other one needs
a little bit more help

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and support and scaffolding.

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And so even just knowing where in the day,

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they're gonna need a little
extra love and encouragement

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so I can go and make
myself available to them,

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or maybe switch where it is in the day.

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So if, for instance,

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I know that there's a big writing project,

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maybe I'll put it at a time

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when I know I don't have
meetings with my colleagues

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so that I can be available
to him and help him out.

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So yes, know your players.

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The next one,

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if it's alright if I move
along, is creativity.

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And here I'm talking about
multiple opportunities to soar

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and again, the folks are asking questions

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about what happens in multi-age families,

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how do you create a schedule
when there's an older kid

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and they see their younger sibling play,

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they'd rather play and that is very real.

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So again, following along
with the game analogy,

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is leveling up by being
creative and being flexible

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and thinking outside the box

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about for instance
where people are working

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at different times of the day

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so we have quiet spaces where we know

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that we can go to if we have a meeting,

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if we have to do go to webinar,

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we know that nobody's
going to bother us there

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and then there are other
spaces that are more open.

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And of course, this isn't easy every place

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and it's not a perfect panacea.

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But just being creative and flexible

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about where we should be
at different times of day.

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And then setting aside when we know

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we're gonna have lunch
together, for instance,

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which is a lovely thing.

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But if we don't make it for them,

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we have to make sure that we
have snap up for the kids,

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we really did become so
much more independent

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about finding what they need,

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I don't know if you're
having the same experience,

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but it's been quite impressive.

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Flexibility in the resources
and who has access to devices.

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Also in communicating so
one of the things we talked

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about earlier and
teachers do this in space

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is give great feedback.

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And so how do we continue
to help them get feedback,

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their teachers are still
giving them feedback

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in many instances.

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And during the day,

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we need to be helping
them with that as well.

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So I have on the screen over
here, the morning reflections,

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I have my kiddos write morning reflection,

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and I have them reflect
at the end of the day

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with what I call Today I Learned.

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And they're a bunch of questions for them

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just to think about.

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And as they're writing down,

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sometimes I'll give them feedback in there

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or I'll just write a little note to them

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like, "Wow, I was really impressed to see,

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"when you when you flew through that."

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Or my older son wrote this beautiful,

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compelling argument for why
the US women's soccer team

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should get equitable pay
to the men's soccer team.

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And I was really taken with it

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and so I gave him feedback here.

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And I could tell, I
mean, he was so excited

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he came running in and we had
a great conversation about it.

00:10:45.780 --> 00:10:47.185
So I think communication is key.

00:10:47.185 --> 00:10:50.650
You can do it in Google Docs,
you can use post-it notes,

00:10:50.650 --> 00:10:52.030
I have whiteboard here.

00:10:52.030 --> 00:10:53.730
I think it's fun if you
if you have the space

00:10:53.730 --> 00:10:55.220
for a family whiteboard, we don't

00:10:55.220 --> 00:10:57.170
but it would be a really
great thing if we could.

00:10:57.170 --> 00:10:59.764
And also being creative
about the responsibilities

00:10:59.764 --> 00:11:03.483
and reflecting on what is
working and what's not working.

00:11:05.667 --> 00:11:07.700
- [Vicki] Yeah, and I'm seeing just...

00:11:08.810 --> 00:11:11.780
I totally agree with all
of those suggestions.

00:11:11.780 --> 00:11:13.490
And I wanted to say I'm
seeing some questions

00:11:13.490 --> 00:11:16.510
about some of these
resources in particular,

00:11:16.510 --> 00:11:18.790
and I wanted to say that
we're gonna share some links

00:11:18.790 --> 00:11:21.440
to some of these resources
for morning reflection

00:11:21.440 --> 00:11:23.820
and schedule some things at the end.

00:11:23.820 --> 00:11:25.580
So you'll have those.

00:11:25.580 --> 00:11:28.860
- [Lindsay] Yeah, all the
templates are available for free,

00:11:28.860 --> 00:11:31.040
you should have access to all of them.

00:11:31.040 --> 00:11:33.298
We'll make sure that you do afterwards.

00:11:33.298 --> 00:11:37.180
The next one is, the next C,

00:11:37.180 --> 00:11:39.880
I think it's very important
that sometimes it's okay

00:11:39.880 --> 00:11:41.740
for us to just let them play.

00:11:41.740 --> 00:11:45.250
I think that this moment
is a very tense moment

00:11:45.250 --> 00:11:48.140
for many of us, for a host of reasons.

00:11:48.140 --> 00:11:50.160
And so I really think it's important

00:11:50.160 --> 00:11:54.250
that we allow our kids
to sometimes just play,

00:11:54.250 --> 00:11:58.400
just go outside if you can, go
ride a bike, go read a book.

00:11:58.400 --> 00:12:02.290
We have certainly had more
hours on fortnight in Minecraft

00:12:02.290 --> 00:12:04.070
than probably I'd like to admit,

00:12:04.070 --> 00:12:05.777
and I'm okay with that right now.

00:12:05.777 --> 00:12:07.740
In fact, I'm okay with that in general,

00:12:07.740 --> 00:12:08.640
that's a different conversation.

00:12:08.640 --> 00:12:10.202
But I think that one of the
really important pieces here

00:12:10.202 --> 00:12:13.663
is that it's okay for your kids to play.

00:12:15.760 --> 00:12:18.390
The next one is curiosity.

00:12:18.390 --> 00:12:22.010
And I say game on to curiosity.

00:12:22.010 --> 00:12:22.843
One of the things

00:12:22.843 --> 00:12:24.940
that I think we should
be more curious about

00:12:24.940 --> 00:12:28.380
is that feedback piece we
were talking about earlier.

00:12:28.380 --> 00:12:29.767
I have a whole (mumbles),

00:12:30.660 --> 00:12:32.300
my kids were doing these reflections

00:12:32.300 --> 00:12:34.537
and they were like, "Well,
Mom, you're not telling me

00:12:34.537 --> 00:12:35.720
"if I'm doing it right or not."

00:12:35.720 --> 00:12:37.950
And I was surprised that they
actually wanted the feedback.

00:12:37.950 --> 00:12:39.760
They wanted to know if they were doing it,

00:12:39.760 --> 00:12:42.130
what else they could do to
make it better or did I see it?

00:12:42.130 --> 00:12:46.506
So I created for them a
super simple one point rubric

00:12:46.506 --> 00:12:49.190
that I shared, and I'll
share with you all as well.

00:12:49.190 --> 00:12:52.480
Also being reflective
on what they're learning

00:12:52.480 --> 00:12:53.710
while they're learning it.

00:12:53.710 --> 00:12:54.543
What did you love?

00:12:54.543 --> 00:12:56.310
What is something that you
never would have thought

00:12:56.310 --> 00:12:58.450
that you would have been
excited to learn about?

00:12:58.450 --> 00:13:02.210
My kid got so excited about studying,

00:13:02.210 --> 00:13:03.800
they're studying Ancient Greece.

00:13:03.800 --> 00:13:06.250
And he was so excited and
inspired to learn about it.

00:13:06.250 --> 00:13:08.430
And he said, if I hadn't
had the time to sit there

00:13:08.430 --> 00:13:09.900
and watch that documentary,

00:13:09.900 --> 00:13:12.230
I don't know if I really would
have gotten vested in it.

00:13:12.230 --> 00:13:15.062
So I think that, game on, be curious.

00:13:15.062 --> 00:13:17.700
Silver linings for us,

00:13:17.700 --> 00:13:19.770
I'm able to spend time
having lunch with my kids

00:13:19.770 --> 00:13:21.780
maybe once or twice a week,

00:13:21.780 --> 00:13:24.600
but that's once or twice a week
more than I ever did before.

00:13:24.600 --> 00:13:26.131
And to me, that's incredible.

00:13:26.131 --> 00:13:28.750
Also, in finding new ways to play,

00:13:28.750 --> 00:13:30.348
I have this sheet that I'll
share with you as well.

00:13:30.348 --> 00:13:32.707
It's called "while you were waiting."

00:13:33.637 --> 00:13:36.270
And basically, there are two columns.

00:13:36.270 --> 00:13:38.070
So if you have an
internet connected device,

00:13:38.070 --> 00:13:39.810
you have a host of
things that you could do,

00:13:39.810 --> 00:13:41.980
if you don't, have a host
of things that you can do

00:13:41.980 --> 00:13:43.070
and I'll share them with you as well.

00:13:43.070 --> 00:13:45.150
And so, there are amazing opportunities

00:13:45.150 --> 00:13:46.000
that our kids can be doing.

00:13:46.000 --> 00:13:48.080
If they're waiting for us
if they need us to help them

00:13:48.080 --> 00:13:49.240
before they can move along,

00:13:49.240 --> 00:13:51.390
they don't have to stop playing,

00:13:51.390 --> 00:13:53.520
they don't have to stop learning

00:13:53.520 --> 00:13:54.620
because as we know,

00:13:54.620 --> 00:13:57.220
we're always learning
especially when we're playing.

00:13:58.290 --> 00:13:59.290
How does that sound?

00:14:00.280 --> 00:14:01.910
- [Vicki] That makes
lots of sense as well.

00:14:01.910 --> 00:14:04.010
There's so many great suggestions in here.

00:14:06.098 --> 00:14:09.160
- [Lindsay] So we're ready
for I believe the last one,

00:14:09.160 --> 00:14:10.480
and maybe the most important one,

00:14:10.480 --> 00:14:12.310
we probably should have started here.

00:14:12.310 --> 00:14:13.410
But compassion.

00:14:13.410 --> 00:14:16.460
And I think, everyone's
asking the same questions

00:14:16.460 --> 00:14:18.150
about how do we serve all of our kids?

00:14:18.150 --> 00:14:19.210
How do we meet their needs?

00:14:19.210 --> 00:14:20.160
And these are the questions

00:14:20.160 --> 00:14:22.210
that teachers asked every single day.

00:14:22.210 --> 00:14:24.470
And so I think we're getting
a really important glimpse

00:14:24.470 --> 00:14:26.650
into the life of what
it is to be a teacher.

00:14:26.650 --> 00:14:29.440
And I think that in terms of compassion,

00:14:29.440 --> 00:14:30.483
the most important thing right now

00:14:30.483 --> 00:14:33.570
is that we are compassionate maximum XP,

00:14:33.570 --> 00:14:38.102
to level up in order to
achieve a higher score,

00:14:38.102 --> 00:14:39.950
be compassionate with our kids

00:14:39.950 --> 00:14:41.670
and their teachers and ourselves.

00:14:41.670 --> 00:14:42.640
And I have an asterisk here

00:14:42.640 --> 00:14:45.180
because not only is it made for it,

00:14:45.180 --> 00:14:46.620
it's also Teacher Appreciation Week.

00:14:46.620 --> 00:14:48.480
So I wanted to just call out

00:14:48.480 --> 00:14:50.360
that we have these incredible humans

00:14:50.360 --> 00:14:53.120
that teach our kids all
day, every day, all year

00:14:53.120 --> 00:14:56.380
and we really are now
seeing, I mean, always

00:14:56.380 --> 00:14:59.070
but how important they are in our lives,

00:14:59.070 --> 00:15:00.510
and I just wanted to,

00:15:00.510 --> 00:15:01.780
as we're compassionate with ourselves,

00:15:01.780 --> 00:15:03.973
and our kids also reach
out to our teachers.

00:15:03.973 --> 00:15:07.140
Also be compassionate and
communicating the reality

00:15:07.140 --> 00:15:09.063
of what's happening in
this world right now.

00:15:09.063 --> 00:15:11.710
And also being flexible
with the expectations

00:15:11.710 --> 00:15:13.530
if you need to reach out to your teachers

00:15:13.530 --> 00:15:15.890
and let them know that
your kid is struggling

00:15:15.890 --> 00:15:19.307
and can't do the work or just
needs a break, that's okay.

00:15:19.307 --> 00:15:22.453
And I think we need to
have permission to do that.

00:15:23.520 --> 00:15:25.630
And again, you'll notice I
said don't forget to play

00:15:25.630 --> 00:15:27.630
'cause I think that's important as well.

00:15:29.310 --> 00:15:30.857
- [Vicki] Yeah, this is so important.

00:15:30.857 --> 00:15:34.150
And it can be really hard to
because we wear so many hats,

00:15:34.150 --> 00:15:35.610
we want everything to be just right

00:15:35.610 --> 00:15:38.880
and it also is very emotionally draining.

00:15:38.880 --> 00:15:40.170
Especially if our kids are fighting

00:15:40.170 --> 00:15:42.800
or if our kids don't wanna do
what they are supposed to do.

00:15:42.800 --> 00:15:45.865
It can be very emotionally
exhausting for any adult

00:15:45.865 --> 00:15:47.270
and at those times,

00:15:47.270 --> 00:15:49.620
it can be really hard to
maintain compassion with yourself

00:15:49.620 --> 00:15:51.950
or with your kiddos as well.

00:15:51.950 --> 00:15:53.547
It's really important.

00:15:54.660 --> 00:15:57.160
- [Lindsay] And I think
it's important to remember

00:15:57.160 --> 00:16:01.030
what is most important right
now and if you are together

00:16:01.030 --> 00:16:03.063
and you do have the ability
to be together with your kids

00:16:03.063 --> 00:16:04.600
I think that's a great gift.

00:16:04.600 --> 00:16:08.430
And just, I guess taking
a minute to just breathe

00:16:08.430 --> 00:16:10.820
and be okay with where you
are and forgive yourself

00:16:10.820 --> 00:16:12.550
and cope with the world around you

00:16:12.550 --> 00:16:15.260
is going to be as compassionate.

00:16:15.260 --> 00:16:16.487
And if not let me know and (mumbles)

00:16:16.487 --> 00:16:19.950
to hep and find that compassion.

00:16:19.950 --> 00:16:22.470
The next piece that I
really wanted to share

00:16:22.470 --> 00:16:27.470
is that there over 76
million students and kids

00:16:27.860 --> 00:16:30.750
to higher ed schools in the
United States right now.

00:16:30.750 --> 00:16:32.720
And many of those individuals

00:16:32.720 --> 00:16:34.010
are currently learning at home.

00:16:34.010 --> 00:16:35.570
And why is that important?

00:16:35.570 --> 00:16:37.400
It's important because we're not alone.

00:16:37.400 --> 00:16:38.440
And as we're struggling

00:16:38.440 --> 00:16:40.870
and as it's important
to have these baffles

00:16:40.870 --> 00:16:43.240
and as important to have
all of these great resources

00:16:43.240 --> 00:16:46.750
to tap into, and ways to
give our kids feedback

00:16:46.750 --> 00:16:48.740
and help them keep
learning and stay on track

00:16:48.740 --> 00:16:49.940
and make sure that they're not losing

00:16:49.940 --> 00:16:51.091
any instructional time,

00:16:51.091 --> 00:16:53.060
it's also important to remember

00:16:53.060 --> 00:16:56.210
just as we're being compassionate,
that we're not alone,

00:16:56.210 --> 00:16:58.010
that we really are in this together

00:16:58.010 --> 00:17:00.780
and that together, we
can move through this.

00:17:00.780 --> 00:17:03.340
And hopefully, my goal is,

00:17:03.340 --> 00:17:05.263
all of us should be
better on the other end

00:17:05.263 --> 00:17:08.373
than maybe we were going into
this in terms of education.

00:17:09.618 --> 00:17:12.650
I wanted to share also with you a quote

00:17:12.650 --> 00:17:13.540
that is one of my favorites.

00:17:13.540 --> 00:17:14.940
I have no idea who said this.

00:17:14.940 --> 00:17:15.870
When I had my first son,

00:17:15.870 --> 00:17:17.280
my husband brought home this postcard

00:17:17.280 --> 00:17:19.150
and it didn't have an author,

00:17:19.150 --> 00:17:21.160
but it was "Survival is the new success."

00:17:21.160 --> 00:17:23.090
So let's just keep
moving one day at a time,

00:17:23.090 --> 00:17:24.953
there's no such thing as perfection.

00:17:26.010 --> 00:17:27.790
Pinterest makes everything easy,

00:17:27.790 --> 00:17:30.080
it's not and it's okay to be messy.

00:17:30.080 --> 00:17:33.430
In fact, I think that that's
how the best learning happens.

00:17:33.430 --> 00:17:34.700
So what I have for you here

00:17:34.700 --> 00:17:37.950
are a couple of different
slides on resources,

00:17:37.950 --> 00:17:40.200
the daily activities that
I made for my kiddos,

00:17:40.200 --> 00:17:42.040
but the game plan is available

00:17:42.040 --> 00:17:44.690
as are the morning
reflections in the spare line.

00:17:44.690 --> 00:17:46.420
There's some really incredible content

00:17:46.420 --> 00:17:48.180
that we have all from Khan Academy

00:17:48.180 --> 00:17:49.640
that my kids have gotten engaged with

00:17:49.640 --> 00:17:54.050
in terms of writing Pixar
in the box was incredible.

00:17:54.050 --> 00:17:58.320
And what I did is I
created a document for them

00:17:58.320 --> 00:18:00.010
so that they could document their learning

00:18:00.010 --> 00:18:03.340
as they were using the
Khan Academy content.

00:18:03.340 --> 00:18:07.160
But there's also the MIT work
there, it's extraordinary.

00:18:07.160 --> 00:18:08.840
So was the Big History Project.

00:18:08.840 --> 00:18:11.470
There are tons of amazing resources.

00:18:11.470 --> 00:18:13.250
I also shared the feedback for the win.

00:18:13.250 --> 00:18:14.820
So if you wanna give your kids feedback

00:18:14.820 --> 00:18:16.259
in a Google document, very easy,

00:18:16.259 --> 00:18:20.050
just take it, copy it, download
it, use it for yourself,

00:18:20.050 --> 00:18:21.510
and a list of while you're waiting

00:18:21.510 --> 00:18:23.090
whether or not you have a device,

00:18:23.090 --> 00:18:25.859
there's plenty of stuff to do.

00:18:25.859 --> 00:18:29.277
And then here are some
some non tech and tech toys

00:18:29.277 --> 00:18:33.010
and games and playful experiences

00:18:33.010 --> 00:18:36.900
that you might wanna check
out in this interesting time.

00:18:36.900 --> 00:18:39.670
And one of the things that
I wanted to call out here

00:18:39.670 --> 00:18:41.150
is that you could challenge your kids

00:18:41.150 --> 00:18:42.440
to create their own versions.

00:18:42.440 --> 00:18:45.040
I don't know if you've ever
played (mumbles) perhaps

00:18:46.264 --> 00:18:47.920
with your kiddo.

00:18:47.920 --> 00:18:49.313
- [Vicki] No I don't know that one.

00:18:51.040 --> 00:18:52.390
- [Lindsay] It's a great game.

00:18:52.390 --> 00:18:54.650
And it's a great game that you could play

00:18:54.650 --> 00:18:58.290
and have her create a version
so you guys can play together.

00:18:58.290 --> 00:19:00.860
All of these are games
that are pretty easy

00:19:00.860 --> 00:19:02.040
for your kids to hack.

00:19:02.040 --> 00:19:04.170
And then they themselves can play the game

00:19:04.170 --> 00:19:07.193
that they've created which
is also very fun to do.

00:19:08.267 --> 00:19:11.289
I wanted to end on a light
note, very heavy time.

00:19:11.289 --> 00:19:13.700
I wanted to say May the 4th be with you.

00:19:13.700 --> 00:19:15.990
And I know we probably have
tons and tons of questions

00:19:15.990 --> 00:19:18.450
so if you'd like to go
to them, we can do that.

00:19:18.450 --> 00:19:21.220
We can go back and look
at any of this slide.

00:19:21.220 --> 00:19:23.340
- [Vicki] Yeah, no, we have.

00:19:23.340 --> 00:19:24.800
I wish we had an extra half an hour

00:19:24.800 --> 00:19:26.517
to answer all of these wonderful questions

00:19:26.517 --> 00:19:30.110
that Dan has been compiling
for us to look at.

00:19:30.110 --> 00:19:32.720
So we'll try to keep our
answers to the point,

00:19:32.720 --> 00:19:35.030
so we can get to as many
of them as possible.

00:19:35.030 --> 00:19:37.860
Dan, I'm gonna turn it over to
you to facilitate that part.

00:19:37.860 --> 00:19:38.895
- [Dan] Yeah.

00:19:38.895 --> 00:19:39.760
Thank you, Lindsay and thank you, Vicki.

00:19:39.760 --> 00:19:40.593
Hi, everyone.

00:19:40.593 --> 00:19:44.100
I'm Dan, and I'll be moderating
the live Q&A session.

00:19:44.100 --> 00:19:46.110
Two things before we get
into the question section.

00:19:46.110 --> 00:19:49.470
First, go to the handout
section of this webinar

00:19:49.470 --> 00:19:51.370
and grab a copy of the presentation.

00:19:51.370 --> 00:19:52.802
It contains all of the tips,

00:19:52.802 --> 00:19:55.150
the C's that Lindsay walked through;

00:19:55.150 --> 00:19:58.440
clarity, curation, creativity,
curiosity and compassion.

00:19:58.440 --> 00:20:00.520
And it has the links to
all of those resources

00:20:00.520 --> 00:20:02.290
that both Lindsay created,

00:20:02.290 --> 00:20:04.450
as well as Khan Academy links

00:20:04.450 --> 00:20:06.670
to just some of our normal resources

00:20:06.670 --> 00:20:09.690
that you can find on our site as well.

00:20:09.690 --> 00:20:11.260
We already have a ton of questions.

00:20:11.260 --> 00:20:12.450
So first before we start,

00:20:12.450 --> 00:20:14.810
I just ask for all of your patience,

00:20:14.810 --> 00:20:16.160
just because we have so many

00:20:16.160 --> 00:20:17.571
and we only have about 10 minutes.

00:20:17.571 --> 00:20:20.590
And we'll try to get
through as many as we can.

00:20:20.590 --> 00:20:21.490
Please submit more

00:20:22.414 --> 00:20:24.300
and we'll try to get
through as many as we can.

00:20:24.300 --> 00:20:27.480
All right, I get to ask the easy questions

00:20:27.480 --> 00:20:29.620
and then Vicki and Lindsay
will do the hard job

00:20:29.620 --> 00:20:31.958
of actually trying to answer these.

00:20:31.958 --> 00:20:35.410
Lindsay, there's a great
question on reflection.

00:20:35.410 --> 00:20:37.070
So what actually is it?

00:20:37.070 --> 00:20:39.670
So there's a question from M.A Lorraine

00:20:39.670 --> 00:20:41.210
what do you mean by morning reflections?

00:20:41.210 --> 00:20:43.030
Can you just give a
quick high level overview

00:20:43.030 --> 00:20:44.453
what that means?

00:20:45.700 --> 00:20:47.920
- [Lindsay] Yeah, so
the morning reflection

00:20:47.920 --> 00:20:49.750
is a document that I made for my kids,

00:20:49.750 --> 00:20:52.330
and it really is just reflecting

00:20:52.330 --> 00:20:53.780
on what they've done
so far during the day.

00:20:53.780 --> 00:20:56.560
So anytime before, they typically do it

00:20:56.560 --> 00:20:58.100
the last thing before lunch,

00:20:58.100 --> 00:20:59.112
and there's a question of,

00:20:59.112 --> 00:21:02.170
what did you read today and
how did it make you feel?

00:21:02.170 --> 00:21:03.610
What did it remind you of?

00:21:03.610 --> 00:21:05.010
So it's some of the similar questions

00:21:05.010 --> 00:21:06.280
that you probably are familiar with

00:21:06.280 --> 00:21:07.680
from your kids answering in school,

00:21:07.680 --> 00:21:09.570
making the text to text, text to self,

00:21:09.570 --> 00:21:11.083
text to world connections.

00:21:11.950 --> 00:21:13.001
I also ask them,

00:21:13.001 --> 00:21:15.670
I have a whole bunch of
just silly questions,

00:21:15.670 --> 00:21:17.380
how do you define curiosity?

00:21:17.380 --> 00:21:18.980
Or What does it mean to be creative?

00:21:18.980 --> 00:21:21.670
Or if you were to be
a scientific explorer,

00:21:21.670 --> 00:21:24.210
where would you go and what
would you want to discover?

00:21:24.210 --> 00:21:26.230
So they really are just
a host of questions

00:21:26.230 --> 00:21:27.920
that my kids respond to every day.

00:21:27.920 --> 00:21:28.930
You have them for free,

00:21:28.930 --> 00:21:31.803
I think on the handout
I added them all there.

00:21:32.850 --> 00:21:34.490
That help?

00:21:34.490 --> 00:21:35.400
- [Dan] Yeah, that's great.

00:21:35.400 --> 00:21:36.590
Vicki do you have any opinions

00:21:36.590 --> 00:21:39.603
like what's a question that
you ask your kid every day?

00:21:40.540 --> 00:21:43.290
- [Vicki] Oh, every day we reflect more

00:21:43.290 --> 00:21:44.123
at the end of the day

00:21:44.123 --> 00:21:45.180
on what's something that happened

00:21:45.180 --> 00:21:46.980
to you today that was good?

00:21:46.980 --> 00:21:49.590
What happened to you or that
you felt or experienced,

00:21:49.590 --> 00:21:50.530
that was good?

00:21:50.530 --> 00:21:51.739
Something that was a "No thanks."

00:21:51.739 --> 00:21:53.710
And something that was confusing.

00:21:53.710 --> 00:21:55.440
And that helps kids to see

00:21:55.440 --> 00:21:57.700
the whole spectrum of life experience,

00:21:57.700 --> 00:21:59.933
not just to focus on on what's good.

00:22:00.890 --> 00:22:03.333
- [Dan] I like that, I'm gonna
use the "No thanks" moment.

00:22:04.535 --> 00:22:07.360
We have a great question about just timing

00:22:07.360 --> 00:22:08.470
and how to schedule these things.

00:22:08.470 --> 00:22:11.057
So from Laura, she asks,

00:22:11.057 --> 00:22:12.067
"How much time each week

00:22:12.067 --> 00:22:14.047
"should I expect to spend lesson planning,

00:22:14.047 --> 00:22:16.437
"planning out a schedule per child?

00:22:16.437 --> 00:22:18.257
"Some teachers have provided a daily plan,

00:22:18.257 --> 00:22:19.905
"some have, some haven't."

00:22:19.905 --> 00:22:23.214
So just just curious if you
all have some perspective

00:22:23.214 --> 00:22:24.520
on both of those things.

00:22:24.520 --> 00:22:25.950
Vicki, perhaps you first then Lindsay,

00:22:25.950 --> 00:22:27.653
you could take from there.

00:22:28.936 --> 00:22:31.980
- [Vicki] I don't, I
spend time at breakfast

00:22:31.980 --> 00:22:35.070
with my daughter planning
her day while we're eating

00:22:35.070 --> 00:22:38.330
and it takes 10 minutes, and
she's very excited about it.

00:22:38.330 --> 00:22:40.020
But I have a couple of just go to

00:22:40.020 --> 00:22:41.220
I have a book of math problems.

00:22:41.220 --> 00:22:43.130
We just do a page from that every day.

00:22:43.130 --> 00:22:45.670
And that are thoughtful
discussion-based questions

00:22:45.670 --> 00:22:46.670
she spends time reading.

00:22:46.670 --> 00:22:48.080
So I have repeated activities

00:22:48.080 --> 00:22:50.650
and don't need to plan
fresh lessons every day.

00:22:50.650 --> 00:22:52.880
I use bedtime math is
what I'm using right now.

00:22:52.880 --> 00:22:55.450
I'm Lindsay, what about you?

00:22:55.450 --> 00:22:57.000
How much time are you spending?

00:22:59.650 --> 00:23:00.663
- [Lindsay] So I would say,

00:23:02.200 --> 00:23:03.244
I don't know if I said this before,

00:23:03.244 --> 00:23:04.210
I have a fourth and a sixth grader.

00:23:04.210 --> 00:23:05.960
And so I have to give a lot of credit

00:23:05.960 --> 00:23:07.740
to their teachers are
still sending lessons.

00:23:07.740 --> 00:23:10.500
So it's not as if I'm fully
lesson planning for my kids.

00:23:10.500 --> 00:23:11.363
At the beginning of this

00:23:11.363 --> 00:23:14.080
when I was lesson planning for my kids,

00:23:14.080 --> 00:23:15.057
I was pulling from different resources.

00:23:15.057 --> 00:23:17.327
And I was being very flexible by saying,

00:23:17.327 --> 00:23:19.207
"Look, instead of having 45 minutes

00:23:19.207 --> 00:23:21.617
"of a particular subject area,

00:23:21.617 --> 00:23:24.360
"you'll have an hour
and a half to explore."

00:23:24.360 --> 00:23:26.970
And so, I don't know, I
had this flexible template

00:23:26.970 --> 00:23:29.690
that maybe took me a couple
of hours on the weekend

00:23:29.690 --> 00:23:31.450
to put together and I would just iterate

00:23:31.450 --> 00:23:33.790
throughout the week, it
was not a happy burden.

00:23:33.790 --> 00:23:34.930
If you have younger kids,

00:23:34.930 --> 00:23:36.600
and you do need more flexible planning,

00:23:36.600 --> 00:23:37.859
I think it's just a matter

00:23:37.859 --> 00:23:40.850
of making materials accessible for them,

00:23:40.850 --> 00:23:44.040
whether it's, play dough or paint or games

00:23:44.040 --> 00:23:47.633
that they can play with
siblings or by themselves.

00:23:48.620 --> 00:23:50.770
I think it just depends,
it's widely varied.

00:23:50.770 --> 00:23:54.340
It depends on if the
teachers give you work,

00:23:54.340 --> 00:23:55.980
how old the child is,

00:23:55.980 --> 00:23:59.160
but it shouldn't be an
exhaustive experience.

00:23:59.160 --> 00:24:00.550
- [Dan] Yeah, that's good.

00:24:00.550 --> 00:24:02.140
That's good, good point.

00:24:02.140 --> 00:24:03.240
We have a question from Nema

00:24:03.240 --> 00:24:05.350
who has kids ages seven and nine

00:24:05.350 --> 00:24:07.940
who keep comparing the amount
of homework with each other?

00:24:07.940 --> 00:24:10.530
I think it's probably,
"She has less, he has less"

00:24:10.530 --> 00:24:11.723
or something like that.

00:24:13.280 --> 00:24:14.943
What should NEMA do about that?

00:24:16.920 --> 00:24:18.300
- [Lindsay] It's a really great question.

00:24:18.300 --> 00:24:20.580
So in our house, it's a
really great opportunity

00:24:20.580 --> 00:24:23.750
to talk about the difference
between equity and equality.

00:24:23.750 --> 00:24:26.600
And I have a fourth and a sixth grader

00:24:26.600 --> 00:24:28.977
and you know, "That's not
fair, he's done first.

00:24:28.977 --> 00:24:30.310
"That's not fair, he's done first."

00:24:30.310 --> 00:24:31.777
And I say, "Well, that's interesting,"

00:24:31.777 --> 00:24:33.947
to my sixth grader,

00:24:33.947 --> 00:24:37.907
"What happens is if I would
give both of you the same test

00:24:37.907 --> 00:24:38.910
"for a sixth grader?"

00:24:38.910 --> 00:24:41.120
Well, of course, the sixth
grader would finish faster,

00:24:41.120 --> 00:24:42.660
and the fourth grader would struggle.

00:24:42.660 --> 00:24:45.070
So everyone's really
getting what they need

00:24:45.070 --> 00:24:47.343
and it's not always the same thing.

00:24:47.343 --> 00:24:51.769
This is very much like a very
typical parenting conundrum.

00:24:51.769 --> 00:24:53.120
And the best thing you can do

00:24:53.120 --> 00:24:55.310
is saying everybody's getting
exactly what they need

00:24:55.310 --> 00:24:59.490
to meet them where they
are and to help them grow.

00:24:59.490 --> 00:25:02.270
And maybe instead of being upset

00:25:02.270 --> 00:25:03.590
that somebody has more to do,

00:25:03.590 --> 00:25:05.717
maybe you could go and ask
them, "Hey, can I help you?

00:25:05.717 --> 00:25:07.717
"What can I do to chime in and to help?"

00:25:09.950 --> 00:25:10.797
- [Dan] That's great.

00:25:10.797 --> 00:25:15.250
We have a question from Lizzie

00:25:15.250 --> 00:25:19.367
about tips from families
juggling younger kids.

00:25:19.367 --> 00:25:21.167
"I have a preschool and a first grader.

00:25:21.167 --> 00:25:23.420
"So they aren't as self sufficient."

00:25:23.420 --> 00:25:27.480
What would you recommend
for that situation, Lindsay?

00:25:27.480 --> 00:25:30.570
If they need a little bit more
guidance on on getting set up

00:25:30.570 --> 00:25:33.853
and getting ready with certain
activities and assignments?

00:25:35.600 --> 00:25:36.640
- [Lindsay] Yeah, I
mean, I don't know Vicki

00:25:36.640 --> 00:25:37.543
if you want to chime in,

00:25:37.543 --> 00:25:39.120
I know your kiddo's are a little smaller.

00:25:39.120 --> 00:25:41.600
But when I worked in early childhood,

00:25:41.600 --> 00:25:43.770
it was really about setting up centers.

00:25:43.770 --> 00:25:45.440
If you think about going into a classroom,

00:25:45.440 --> 00:25:46.480
and there's different centers

00:25:46.480 --> 00:25:50.503
and I think our kids are more
capable of being independent

00:25:50.503 --> 00:25:51.930
than maybe we think that they are.

00:25:51.930 --> 00:25:54.470
I think it takes a little
bit of scaffolding over time,

00:25:54.470 --> 00:25:56.110
which is the gradual release.

00:25:56.110 --> 00:25:58.877
First you say "Look,
hey, this is the space

00:25:58.877 --> 00:26:02.338
"where we're gonna be creating
flowers out of play dough."

00:26:02.338 --> 00:26:05.010
And you do it a couple of times with them,

00:26:05.010 --> 00:26:06.640
and then one day, magically,

00:26:06.640 --> 00:26:07.700
they don't need your help anymore

00:26:07.700 --> 00:26:09.240
because they can do that by themselves.

00:26:09.240 --> 00:26:11.590
And so whether it's
practicing with scissors

00:26:11.590 --> 00:26:13.720
and cutting on different shapes

00:26:13.720 --> 00:26:14.900
and having things cut out for them

00:26:14.900 --> 00:26:16.290
or having magazines for them,

00:26:16.290 --> 00:26:18.870
that they can tear out
and use almost looted,

00:26:18.870 --> 00:26:20.630
just stick them on to something

00:26:20.630 --> 00:26:24.570
or you even if you teach
them how to do a mongola

00:26:25.690 --> 00:26:30.300
or just any sort of coloring,
drawing sort of activity,

00:26:30.300 --> 00:26:32.210
over time, you can slowly release,

00:26:32.210 --> 00:26:33.890
that's the point of scaffolding,
you're not there forever.

00:26:33.890 --> 00:26:36.594
You have to release them,
let them become independent.

00:26:36.594 --> 00:26:39.330
- [Vicki] Yeah, yeah, that's
what I was thinking also

00:26:39.330 --> 00:26:41.040
was any kind of sensory play

00:26:41.040 --> 00:26:44.170
and you can google sensory play
activities for preschoolers,

00:26:44.170 --> 00:26:46.130
and you'll find lists and lists and lists,

00:26:46.130 --> 00:26:48.270
anything that's sensory like
giving a kid shaving cream,

00:26:48.270 --> 00:26:52.220
that kind of thing will hold
their attention for a while.

00:26:52.220 --> 00:26:56.970
Also note that developmentally speaking,

00:26:56.970 --> 00:26:58.580
preschoolers aren't that independent

00:26:58.580 --> 00:27:00.160
and they're not gonna be
able to play on their own

00:27:00.160 --> 00:27:01.070
for a very long time,

00:27:01.070 --> 00:27:03.630
and it's not appropriate to ask them to,

00:27:03.630 --> 00:27:05.518
it can be really hard for them.

00:27:05.518 --> 00:27:07.660
But at the same time, we
know that we have to work

00:27:07.660 --> 00:27:10.110
and so it can we really
feel like this push/pull.

00:27:13.027 --> 00:27:14.720
When my daughter was two and three,

00:27:14.720 --> 00:27:16.530
I was newly a single parent

00:27:16.530 --> 00:27:18.120
and was trying to figure
out how to live alone

00:27:18.120 --> 00:27:21.750
with a two year old and
do the dishes sometimes

00:27:21.750 --> 00:27:23.530
and I needed a little bit of space.

00:27:23.530 --> 00:27:26.750
And one thing that really
helped me at that time

00:27:26.750 --> 00:27:28.480
was podcasts for kids,

00:27:28.480 --> 00:27:30.500
and I've mentioned that on
some of these webinars before,

00:27:30.500 --> 00:27:31.540
but for my daughter,

00:27:31.540 --> 00:27:33.840
if I could give her a
pile of craft supplies,

00:27:33.840 --> 00:27:37.240
and put on a storytelling
podcast that was age appropriate,

00:27:37.240 --> 00:27:39.150
I could get enough time to do the dishes.

00:27:39.150 --> 00:27:41.070
And that could that could help now

00:27:41.070 --> 00:27:43.020
if you're needing enough
time to be in a meeting

00:27:43.020 --> 00:27:44.223
or do some work.

00:27:45.440 --> 00:27:46.360
That can be helpful.

00:27:46.360 --> 00:27:50.700
- [Lindsay] I want to say
that painters tape is magical.

00:27:50.700 --> 00:27:54.320
It is magical because we
make a ginormous mess of it

00:27:54.320 --> 00:27:56.520
and it comes off of everything
and doesn't leave a mark.

00:27:56.520 --> 00:27:58.950
So if they really are tactile
and needing to be doing

00:27:58.950 --> 00:28:03.260
and making you want to let them
do that without being afraid

00:28:03.260 --> 00:28:06.090
that they're going to destroy your walls

00:28:06.090 --> 00:28:08.783
then that's always an option.

00:28:08.783 --> 00:28:11.447
- [Dan] Right, and we have--

00:28:11.447 --> 00:28:12.280
- [Lindsay] (mumbles) nothing

00:28:12.280 --> 00:28:13.113
that we're using to play games.

00:28:13.113 --> 00:28:14.195
You can play games on
the iPhone, if you have

00:28:14.195 --> 00:28:17.070
or if you wanna watch a show on PBS.

00:28:17.070 --> 00:28:17.903
I mean, I'm okay with that.

00:28:17.903 --> 00:28:20.000
I think that that's completely fine

00:28:20.000 --> 00:28:21.860
and they're great resources.

00:28:21.860 --> 00:28:22.693
- [Dan] Yeah.

00:28:22.693 --> 00:28:25.230
And so that's a good segue
to a couple questions

00:28:25.230 --> 00:28:26.440
we have about screen time.

00:28:26.440 --> 00:28:30.893
So Shree as well as
Jennifer asks, both around

00:28:30.893 --> 00:28:34.010
with a lot of work,
learning, remote learning,

00:28:34.010 --> 00:28:36.010
as well as some of these other activities,

00:28:36.010 --> 00:28:39.586
there's a lot of screen time
that their kiddos are getting.

00:28:39.586 --> 00:28:41.900
And then another question around,

00:28:41.900 --> 00:28:44.610
how much TV or tablet time is acceptable

00:28:44.610 --> 00:28:46.550
for a pre-K four year old?

00:28:46.550 --> 00:28:49.120
Before I pass it over
to Vicki and Lindsay,

00:28:49.120 --> 00:28:49.953
I just wanna comment

00:28:49.953 --> 00:28:52.270
that the American
Association of Pediatrics

00:28:52.270 --> 00:28:55.830
just released a COVID-19
screen time recommendation,

00:28:55.830 --> 00:28:58.760
which is a little bit more
flexible than their normal.

00:28:58.760 --> 00:29:00.890
I think their recommendation
for earlier learners

00:29:00.890 --> 00:29:02.330
are like 20 minutes a day

00:29:02.330 --> 00:29:06.110
but I think they recognize
that this is unusual times

00:29:06.110 --> 00:29:07.910
and to be a little bit more flexible

00:29:07.910 --> 00:29:09.613
and forgiving about that as well.

00:29:09.613 --> 00:29:12.733
So just be sure to be mindful of that.

00:29:12.733 --> 00:29:14.550
And with that Vicki or Lindsay,

00:29:14.550 --> 00:29:17.050
do you have any opinions
on screen time right now?

00:29:21.885 --> 00:29:24.173
- [Vicki] We use a lot of educational apps

00:29:24.173 --> 00:29:28.270
she does Khan Kids we, I
love Khan Academy kids.

00:29:28.270 --> 00:29:29.890
She'll also watch shows on PBS,

00:29:29.890 --> 00:29:34.060
I do try to limit it
to no more than an hour

00:29:34.060 --> 00:29:35.960
or two a day, that's what I do.

00:29:35.960 --> 00:29:37.740
But I think that's a personal,

00:29:37.740 --> 00:29:41.140
what I need in order to
balance my day for work

00:29:41.140 --> 00:29:42.580
and to limit it for her.

00:29:42.580 --> 00:29:44.490
We also watch, she loves science shows,

00:29:44.490 --> 00:29:47.889
we'll watch Nova, or
any science documentary.

00:29:47.889 --> 00:29:49.785
And then she'll tell
me, one thing she does,

00:29:49.785 --> 00:29:51.560
is watch an episode of Nova

00:29:51.560 --> 00:29:53.330
and then write down
three facts she learned

00:29:53.330 --> 00:29:55.830
or two questions she has after this show

00:29:55.830 --> 00:29:56.980
or something like that.

00:29:59.140 --> 00:30:00.390
- [Lindsay] Oh, I love that, Vicki.

00:30:00.390 --> 00:30:02.990
We, early on before the kids
started getting homework

00:30:02.990 --> 00:30:03.990
from their teachers,

00:30:05.866 --> 00:30:08.200
we would have a list of
acceptable things to watch.

00:30:08.200 --> 00:30:10.970
And we would have them
share with us over dinner,

00:30:10.970 --> 00:30:12.120
the goal was that they had to watch it,

00:30:12.120 --> 00:30:13.050
but then they had to come to dinner

00:30:13.050 --> 00:30:15.050
prepared to share with
us what they had learned.

00:30:15.050 --> 00:30:17.357
So that was another
way to build a sense of

00:30:17.357 --> 00:30:19.207
"Wow, celebrating what I'm learning."

00:30:20.550 --> 00:30:21.990
I know we have more questions coming up.

00:30:21.990 --> 00:30:25.150
So I'm gonna let you keep
moving along with them there.

00:30:25.150 --> 00:30:26.644
- [Dan] Yeah, sure.

00:30:26.644 --> 00:30:27.870
So I think we have time
for one more question.

00:30:27.870 --> 00:30:31.093
And this one, we have quite
a few questions around,

00:30:31.930 --> 00:30:36.370
as a parent, how do you stop
yourself from getting upset?

00:30:36.370 --> 00:30:38.920
How do you deal with your frustrations?

00:30:38.920 --> 00:30:40.160
And this is really important.

00:30:40.160 --> 00:30:43.010
So Vicki, I think maybe if
you could tackle this one

00:30:43.010 --> 00:30:45.850
and then Lindsay, if you can close out

00:30:45.850 --> 00:30:47.100
with answering this as well,

00:30:47.100 --> 00:30:49.050
it's really important right now.

00:30:49.050 --> 00:30:52.330
- [Vicki] Yeah, managing
our own emotional regulation

00:30:52.330 --> 00:30:55.260
as adults in frustrating
moments is really hard.

00:30:55.260 --> 00:30:58.660
And it's not, like you can't
help your kid to be calm

00:30:58.660 --> 00:31:00.630
unless you're calm yourself.

00:31:00.630 --> 00:31:04.183
So this is really about, and
I'll recommend some resources,

00:31:05.030 --> 00:31:06.260
it's really about being able

00:31:06.260 --> 00:31:08.580
to take a step away for a minute,

00:31:08.580 --> 00:31:12.660
take the deep breaths you need
to get yourself calm again,

00:31:12.660 --> 00:31:14.760
and then come back and
help them try to figure out

00:31:14.760 --> 00:31:16.260
how to solve their problem.

00:31:16.260 --> 00:31:18.910
One strategy for that
is called box breathing.

00:31:18.910 --> 00:31:22.580
Very quick, you just breathe
in for four, hold for four,

00:31:22.580 --> 00:31:25.170
breathe out for four, hold for four.

00:31:25.170 --> 00:31:27.310
It's a box because it's
four, four, four, four;

00:31:27.310 --> 00:31:29.040
in, hold, out, hold.

00:31:29.040 --> 00:31:32.240
And the military uses that,
emotional scientists use that,

00:31:32.240 --> 00:31:33.090
everybody uses that,

00:31:33.090 --> 00:31:36.040
it'll physiologically calm
your nervous system down

00:31:36.040 --> 00:31:37.210
and then you'll be in a calmer place

00:31:37.210 --> 00:31:38.530
to respond to your kids.

00:31:38.530 --> 00:31:41.890
There are also a lot of great
parenting resources on this.

00:31:41.890 --> 00:31:44.660
one I really like "Hand
in Hand Parenting,"

00:31:44.660 --> 00:31:47.108
they have a ton of
resources on their website.

00:31:47.108 --> 00:31:48.970
As a parent with limited time,

00:31:48.970 --> 00:31:51.130
I like to follow my
favorite parenting educators

00:31:51.130 --> 00:31:52.380
on social media.

00:31:52.380 --> 00:31:55.960
So I'll follow like Seed and
Saw is an Instagram account

00:31:55.960 --> 00:31:57.000
that I really like.

00:31:57.000 --> 00:32:00.050
And so it's just, she'll
post a little square image

00:32:00.050 --> 00:32:04.670
on Instagram of tips about
how to regulate my emotions

00:32:04.670 --> 00:32:06.290
and how to regulate my kids' emotions

00:32:06.290 --> 00:32:07.590
and how to respond to her.

00:32:09.400 --> 00:32:13.390
So that's some things I would recommend.

00:32:13.390 --> 00:32:16.743
But it's what's gonna work
for you, is gonna vary.

00:32:17.800 --> 00:32:20.430
And with that, I think we'll
turn it over to Lindsay,

00:32:20.430 --> 00:32:21.263
to wrap up.

00:32:23.530 --> 00:32:24.430
- [Lindsay] Yeah, I mean, Vicki,

00:32:24.430 --> 00:32:26.370
I think you just did a stellar job.

00:32:26.370 --> 00:32:28.160
I think that the most important piece

00:32:28.160 --> 00:32:30.540
is that your mileage may
vary, everyone is different,

00:32:30.540 --> 00:32:32.000
and everyone needs a different way

00:32:32.000 --> 00:32:34.210
for managing their stress.

00:32:34.210 --> 00:32:36.460
For me, the most important
thing is acknowledging

00:32:36.460 --> 00:32:38.920
that it's okay to be frustrated

00:32:38.920 --> 00:32:41.900
and it's okay to get anxious
and it's okay to be angry

00:32:41.900 --> 00:32:43.879
and to be sad and to be confused.

00:32:43.879 --> 00:32:47.020
And I think for us in our house,

00:32:47.020 --> 00:32:48.370
I'm very honest with my kids,

00:32:48.370 --> 00:32:50.327
and I say to them, "Hey,
I've never done this before.

00:32:50.327 --> 00:32:51.990
"None of us have done this before."

00:32:51.990 --> 00:32:54.740
And you don't want to lose
the sense of stability

00:32:54.740 --> 00:32:55.820
and strength and certainty

00:32:55.820 --> 00:32:57.250
that everything's going to be okay,

00:32:57.250 --> 00:32:59.240
but you also wanna be vulnerable
enough with your children

00:32:59.240 --> 00:33:01.580
to let them see that you're
also trying to figure this out.

00:33:01.580 --> 00:33:03.180
Nobody has all the answers,

00:33:03.180 --> 00:33:05.020
we're all going through this together.

00:33:05.020 --> 00:33:07.750
And I also think it's a
really great opportunity

00:33:07.750 --> 00:33:09.070
to take perspective

00:33:09.070 --> 00:33:11.410
and to think from the
perspective of your kids

00:33:11.410 --> 00:33:14.570
and how they're feeling and
why they're feeling that way.

00:33:14.570 --> 00:33:16.020
And then also invite them

00:33:16.020 --> 00:33:18.500
to take the perspective of
other folks in their community

00:33:18.500 --> 00:33:20.430
and in the wider global community,

00:33:20.430 --> 00:33:23.300
and how it is in other
places of the world.

00:33:23.300 --> 00:33:25.200
'Cause everyone is having
a different experience,

00:33:25.200 --> 00:33:28.410
we have the shared experience
of this very strange pandemic,

00:33:28.410 --> 00:33:30.680
but we also have very
different living experiences.

00:33:30.680 --> 00:33:32.527
And so it's an opportunity to say,

00:33:32.527 --> 00:33:35.257
"Let's be reflective about what it is

00:33:35.257 --> 00:33:36.717
"to live in different parts of the world,

00:33:36.717 --> 00:33:38.120
"different parts of the country."

00:33:38.120 --> 00:33:40.086
And that's helped us quite a bit.

00:33:40.086 --> 00:33:42.760
And even to just verbalize
that to our children,

00:33:42.760 --> 00:33:44.600
we've had some beautiful conversations;

00:33:44.600 --> 00:33:47.650
hard, beautiful conversations.

00:33:47.650 --> 00:33:48.483
- [Dan] Thank you, Lindsay.

00:33:48.483 --> 00:33:49.710
Thank you, Vicki.

00:33:49.710 --> 00:33:51.710
I just wanted to thank the
audience for joining us.

00:33:51.710 --> 00:33:54.810
I know everyone's incredibly
busy during this time,

00:33:54.810 --> 00:33:57.720
and thank you for sparing
that time to be with us.

00:33:57.720 --> 00:34:00.670
If you missed anything and
you wanna review this webinar,

00:34:00.670 --> 00:34:03.360
we'll be sending out a recording
for those who registered.

00:34:03.360 --> 00:34:05.900
And we'll also be making
this available online.

00:34:05.900 --> 00:34:10.160
As well as the presentation
will also be made available

00:34:10.160 --> 00:34:11.630
in both places as well.

00:34:11.630 --> 00:34:13.020
You can always go to Khan Academy,

00:34:13.020 --> 00:34:14.500
and there's a blue ribbon at the top

00:34:14.500 --> 00:34:17.710
taking you to all of our COVID
response resources as well.

00:34:17.710 --> 00:34:20.180
So if you miss anything,
you can always go there.

00:34:20.180 --> 00:34:22.480
And then I would ask you
to do one final thing

00:34:22.480 --> 00:34:24.110
before we close out here,

00:34:24.110 --> 00:34:26.480
there's gonna be a pop up that shows up

00:34:26.480 --> 00:34:28.100
at the end of this webinar.

00:34:28.100 --> 00:34:30.010
We ask you to do two things for us.

00:34:30.010 --> 00:34:32.800
First, tell us how we could
make future iterations

00:34:32.800 --> 00:34:35.080
of this session even better for you all.

00:34:35.080 --> 00:34:37.080
And then secondly, what
other types of sessions

00:34:37.080 --> 00:34:38.450
would you like to hear from us?

00:34:38.450 --> 00:34:40.550
And we'll try to plan that out

00:34:40.550 --> 00:34:43.410
and get that out to you as soon as we can.

00:34:43.410 --> 00:34:44.840
And in closing, as I mentioned,

00:34:44.840 --> 00:34:46.630
we know you're juggling a lot

00:34:46.630 --> 00:34:49.340
and this is really uncharted
territory for all of us.

00:34:49.340 --> 00:34:52.000
And I think what Lindsay
and Vicki closed out with

00:34:52.000 --> 00:34:53.860
is really important just as parents

00:34:53.860 --> 00:34:55.820
and as busy folks right now,

00:34:55.820 --> 00:34:57.420
just be kind to yourself.

00:34:57.420 --> 00:34:58.315
It's super important to remember

00:34:58.315 --> 00:35:00.830
that this is incredibly stressful

00:35:00.830 --> 00:35:03.750
and challenging for all of
us and you're not alone.

00:35:03.750 --> 00:35:08.033
So just be mindful about
being kind to yourself.

00:35:08.033 --> 00:35:09.940
So with that we here at Khan Academy

00:35:09.940 --> 00:35:13.310
wanna remind you please
check in occasionally

00:35:13.310 --> 00:35:15.180
and thanks again.

00:35:15.180 --> 00:35:16.013
And good bye.