text: He can run faster than a fax machine
  His urine is blue
  He smells like a campfire
  He was once slapped by the Queen
  He has walked the equivalent of three times
  Around the Earth
  Like Keith, the Phengaris rebeli caterpillar strums
  His bottom like a guitar and the chord attracts females
  At one concert in Java in the 70s
  Men screamed, women fainted, and a small boy
  Broke his arm in the chaos
  And it rained thousands of black worms the size of
  Honeybees
  He wrote his share of the songs from Sticky Fingers
  In a henhouse in Malta
  He once won the Hope Diamond in a poker game
  And in the same night lost it in a game of craps
  He owns a lug wrench and a tire jack made of solid gold
  He was born in a cloak room and had always been prone
  To fits of weeping followed by hysterical laughter
  One of his first jobs was cleaning out the lion cage
  At the London Zoo
  Like the praying mantis he has only one ear and
  It is located between his legs
  He can hold a note up to 6 minutes and has 7 or 8 notes
  More than the ordinary voice
  And they are equally sonorous and clear
  Hands like a woodworker
  Arms like a swabby
  A back like a soldier
  A mind like a detective
  Shoulders like a boxer
  A voice like a choir boy
  And a country western face
  His tunings are furiously guarded secrets
  He claims one open tuning he utilizes was inspired
  While waiting for a train in Detroit
  In a vacant lot, the remains of a barbed wire fence
  Were half circling the remains of an old foundry
  And there, amidst tin cans, old mattresses and dolls heads
  It occurred to Keith that a guitar is
  -------At its most rudimentary level-------
  Wire that has been stretched across wood that when
  Strummed produces a pleasant relationship between
  Disparate components
  Noticing the wire fence in effect contained these same
  Ingredients, Keith took the lid of a discarded paint can and
  Strummed the tightly stretched fence wires
  Violently, rhythmically, and repeatedly
  Thus satisfying hhis curiosity and releasing the peculiar
  Voicings of the chord we all know to be the chord
  At the beginning of Jumpin Jack Flash
  Transcribing the notes and adapting them for guitar,
  Keith lost none of the angular chords mystifying and
  Natural jaggedness and thus, the fence chord was born
  Keith once took my 10,000 dollar overcoat
  To put down across a mud puddle
  To allow an octogenarian laundress
  Named Clementine Moorehouse to cross the street
  Comfortably
  Thats Keith always the gentleman