text: Hes an ol altar boy
  Lying out there in the street
  Hes an ol altar boy
  Bound up in leather and chains
  Thats why Im feeling so blue
  Im an old altar boy
  What about you
  Now I can order in Latin
  Make em au gratin Joe
  Im an old altar boy
  Thats why Im so depressed
  I never got the rest of the dream
  Just the ritual
  Now Im habitual
  Majoring in crimes
  That are unspeakable
  Cause Im an old altar boy
  Thats what happened to me
  Im an old altar boy
  Hes hoping he can meet a woman
  Dressed like a nun
  He knows theres got to be some around here
  Drinking across from the church
  A little Father Cribari wine
  On a Sunday morning time
  Im an old altar boy
  Why is he winking at this time in his life
  He never took a wife
  Cause hes an old altar boy, oh yeah
  What about you