text: Thanks, uh... You know uh, this is weird uh...
  Most of us have dogs, all right?
  I dont know if its a local thing where I live, or if its everywhere, and Im checking it with you because uh, I dont get in the area that often and Im just checking to see if...
  Theres a new kind of a dog treat. And uh and theyre available in the pet store and for the longest time I just thought that it was some kind of a prank. Or uh...
  I wasnt really sure what it was, until I read the label on the back and it said Bull Penis
  I was a little shocked! I know you can get just about ANYTHING in this world
  You can get a whales pancreas if youd want one! I can get you one!
  But comon, a bulls penis! How busy they were their whole lives
  And they throw it to a dog, like that, for a snack!
  Now, are they available here in the Los Angeles area? They are, arent they?
  Doesnt that make you a little weazy?
  Makes you wanna live a long time
  And on the back, on the bottom it said: 100% natural!
  I mean... thats the part that really got me. And it said: A Real Meat Snack
  Theres just no dignity in that. Uh, anyway...
  The other thing is that theyre 36 inches long!
  Theyre so long they had to cut them into bite-size portions
  And then they take two of them and braid them together
  I know, I know! I never want it done. But uh...
  This is a song written for Gregory Peck for his dating my mom...
  Thats a lie!