text: Hes an ol altar boy
  Lying out there in the street
  Hes an ol alter boy
  Bound up in leather and chains
  Thats why Im feeling so blue
  Im an old altar boy
  What about you?
  Now, I can order in Latin
  Make em au gratin, Joe
  Im an old altar boy
  Thats why Im so depressed
  I never got the rest of the dream
  Just the ritual
  Now Im habitual
  Majoring in crimes that are unspeakable
  Cause Im an old altar boy
  Thats what happened to me
  Im an old altar boy
  Hes hoping he can meet a woman dressed like a nun
  He knows theres got to be some around here
  Drinking across from the church
  A little Father Cribari wine
  On a Sunday morn time
  Im an old altar boy
  Why is he winking at this time in his life?
  He never took a wife, cause hes an old altar boy
  Oh, yeah...
  What about you?