text: For all the bachelors out there tonight
  Yeah for anybody whos ever whistled this song
  Maybe you whistled it, but you lost the sheet music
  Um...this is um...actually I dont mind going to weddings or anything
  As long as its not my own, I show up
  But Ive always kinda been partial to calling myself up on the phone and asking myself out, you know?
  Oh yeah, you call yourself up too huh?
  Yeah, well one thing about it, youre always around
  Yeah I know, yeah you ask yourself out, you know
  Some class joint somewhere
  The Burrito King or something, you know
  Well I aint cheap, you know
  Take yourself out for a couple of drinks maybe
  Then thered be some provocative conversation on the way home
  And park in front of the house, you know
  Oh yeah, you smoothly put a little nice music on
  Maybe you put on like uh, you know, like shopping music
  Something thats not too interruptive, you know
  And then uh slide over real nice and say
  Oh I think you have something in your eye
  Well maybe its not that romantic with you, but Christ
  I dont know, you know I get into it, you know
  Take myself up to the porch, take myself inside or maybe uh
  Or may get a little something in a brandy snifter or something
  Would like you like to listen to some of my back records?
  I got something here
  Well usually about 2.30 in the morning youve ended up taking advantage of yourself
  There aint no way around that, you know
  Yeah, making a scene with a magazine, there aint no way around
  Ill confess you know, Im no different, you know
  Im not weird about it or anything, I dont tie myself up first
  I just kinda spend a little time with myself
  So this is kind of a little anthem here