text: Well, your skeletons in the closet are introducing themselves
  The knick-knacks wisecrack there on the shelf
  You told him that you loved him, but hes hissin at you
  What else is new, what else is new, what else is new
  Cause your old mans a counterfeit, your daughters a lush
  Its you and Mickey Spillane, and the ladys in a hush
  Someones stealin your heart, someones stealin your car
  What else is new
  Well now, your creditors hate you, and so do your kids
  Your footballin sweetheart is down on the skids
  And now the parks are full of fugitives, the trees are on fire
  What else is new, what else is new
  Now you see, the cigarette machines are busted, you cant get no change
  And somebody cancels everything you arrange
  For every invitation gets your RSVP
  What else is new, what else is new, what else is new, what else is new
  Well now, the rockin chairs busted, your ashtrays are full
  Your evenings and your afternoons are usually dull
  So you toast to the Toastmaster toaster and you
  What else is new, what else is new, what else is new, what else is new
  You gotta tell me, what else is new
  What else is new
  What else is new, what else is new, what else is new
  What else is new