text: Joan was quizzical; studied pataphysical science in the home
  Late nights all alone with a test tube, oh, oh, oh, oh
  Maxwell Edison, majoring in medicine calls her on the phone
  Can I take you out to the pictures, Joa-oa-oa-oan?
  But as shes getting ready to go, a knock comes on the door
  Bang! Bang! Maxwells silver hammer came down upon her head
  Klang! Klang! Maxwells silver hammer made sure that she was dead
  Back in school again Maxwell plays the fool again
  Teacher gets annoyed
  Wishing to avoid an unpleasant sce-e-e-ene
  She tells Max to stay when the class has gone away
  So he waits behind
  Writing 50 times I must not be so, o, o, o
  But when she turns her back on the boy, he creeps up from behind
  Bang! Bang! Maxwells silver hammer came down upon her head
  Klang! Klang! Maxwells silver hammer made sure that she was dead
  Do-do-do-do
  P. C. 31 said, We caught a dirty one., Maxwell stands alone
  Painting testimonial pictures, oh, oh, oh, oh
  Rose and Valerie, screaming from the gallery, say he must go free
  The judge does not agree and he tells them so-o-o-o
  But as the words are leaving his lips, a noise comes from behind
  Bang! Bang! Maxwells silver hammer came down upon his head
  Klang! Klang! Maxwells silver hammer made sure he was dead
  Whoa, whoa, whoa
  Doo-doo, doo-doo, doo
  Silver hammer man