text: If youre havin girl problems, I feel bad for you, son
  I got 99 problems, but a bitch aint one
  Ive got the Rap Patrol on the gat patrol
  Foes that wanna make sure my caskets closed
  Rap critics that say hes Money, Cash, Hoes
  Im from the hood, stupid! What type of facts are those?
  If you grew up with holes in your zapatos
  Youd celebrate the minute you was havin dough
  Im like, Fuck critics, you can kiss my whole asshole!
  If you dont like my lyrics, you can press fast forward.
  Got beef with radio if I dont play they show
  They dont play my hits, well, I dont give a shit, so
  Rap mags try and use my black ass
  So advertisers can give em more cash for ads
  Fuckers, I dont know what you take me as
  Or understand the intelligence that Jay Z has
  Im from rags to riches, niggas, I aint dumb
  I got 99 problems, but a bitch aint one – hit me!
  99 problems, but a bitch aint one
  If youre havin girl problems, I feel bad for you, son
  I got 99 problems, but a bitch aint one, hit me!
  The year is 94, in my trunk is raw
  In my rearview mirror is the motherfuckin law
  Got two choices, yall: pull over the car or
  Bounce on the devil, put the pedal to the floor
  And I aint tryin to see no highway chase with Jake
  Plus I got a few dollars, I can fight the case
  So I pull over to the side of the road
  I heard, Son, do you know why Im stopping you for?
  ‘Cause Im young and Im black and my hats real low?
  Do I look like a mind reader, sir? I dont know
  Am I under arrest or should I guess some more?
  Well, you was doing 55 in a 54
  License and registration and step out of the car
  Are you carrying a weapon on you? I know a lot of you are.
  I aint steppin out of shit, all my papers legit
  Well, do you mind if I look around the car a little bit?
  Well, my glove compartment is locked, so is the trunk in the back
  And I know my rights, so you gon need a warrant for that
  Arent you sharp as a tack?
  You some type of lawyer or something?
  Somebody important or something?
  Well, I aint passed the bar, but I know a little bit
  Enough that you wont illegally search my shit
  Well, well see how smart you are when the K9 come!
  I got 99 problems, but a bitch aint one, hit me!
  99 problems, but a bitch aint one
  If youre havin girl problems, I feel bad for you, son
  I got 99 problems, but a bitch aint one, hit me!
  99 problems, but a bitch aint one
  If youre havin girl problems, I feel bad for you, son
  I got 99 problems, but a bitch aint one
  Now once upon a time not too long ago
  A nigga like myself had to strong-arm a ho
  This is not a ho in the sense of havin a pussy
  But a pussy havin no goddamn sense, try and push me
  I try to ignore him, talk to the Lord
  Pray for him, but some fools just love to perform
  You know the type, loud as a motorbike
  But wouldnt bust a grape in a fruit fight
  And only thing thats gon happen is Ima get to clappin
  And he and his boys gonna be yappin to the Captain
  And there I go, trapped in the Kit-Kat again
  Back through the system with the riff-raff again
  Fiends on the floor, scratchin again
  Paparazzis with they cameras, snappin em
  D.A. try to give a nigga shaft again
  Half a mil for bail ‘cause Im African
  All because this fool was harassin them
  Tryin to play the boy like hes saccharine
  But aint nothin sweet bout how I hold my gun
  I got 99 problems, bein a bitch aint one, hit me
  99 problems, but a bitch aint one
  If youre havin girl problems, I feel bad for you, son
  I got 99 problems, but a bitch aint one, hit me
  99 problems, but a bitch aint one
  If youre havin girl problems, I feel bad for you, son
  I got 99 problems, but a bitch aint one, hit me
  If youre havin girl problems, I feel bad for you, son
  I got 99 problems, but a bitch aint one, hit me
  You crazy for this one, Rick
  Its your boy