text: Playboy: OK, were on. Why dont we begin by…
  John: Doing Hamlet. 
  Ringo: Yeah, yeah, lets do that.
  Playboy: That sounds like fun, but just for laughs, why dont we do an interview instead?
  George: Say, thats a fine idea. I wish Id thought of that.
  Paul: What shall we ask you for a first question?
  Ringo: About those Bunny girls…
  Playboy: No comment. Lets start over. Ringo, youre the last Beatle to join the group, arent you?
  Ringo: Yes.
  Playboy: How long were you fellows working together as a team before Ringo joined up?
  John: A few years probably, sort of off and on, really, for three years or so.
  Paul: Yeah, but really amateur.
  George: The local pub, you know. And in each others uncles houses.
  John: And at Georges brothers wedding. Things like that. Ringo used to fill in sometimes for our drummer.
  Playboy: When you joined the others, Ringo, they werent quite as big as they are now, were they?
  Ringo: They were the biggest thing in Liverpool. In them days that was big enough.
  Paul: This is a point weve made before. Some people say a man is made of muscle and blood…
  No, they dont. They say, How come youve suddenly been able to adjust to fame, you know, to nationwide fame and things? It all started quite nicely with us, you see, in our own sphere, where we used to play—in Liverpool. We never used to play outside it, except when we went to Hamburg. Just those two circles. And in each of them, I think we were round the highest paid, and probably at the time the most popular. So in actual fact we had the same feeling of being famous then as we do now.
  George: We were recognized then, too, only people didnt chase us about.
  Paul: But it just grew. The quantity grew, not the quality of the feeling.
  Playboy: When did you know that you had really hit it big? There must have been one night when you knew it had really begun.
  John: Well, wed been playing round in Liverpool for a bit without getting anywhere, trying to get work, and the other groups kept telling us, Youll do all right, youll get work someday. And then we went to Hamburg, and when we came back, suddenly we were a wow. Mind you, 70 percent of the audience thought we were a German wow, but we didnt care about that.
  Paul: We were billed in the paper: From Hamburg—The Beatles.
  John: In Liverpool, people didnt even know we were from Liverpool. They thought we were from Hamburg. They said, Christ, they speak good English! Which we did, of course, being English. But thats when we first, you know, stood there being cheered for the first time.
  Paul: That was when we felt we were…
  John: …on the way up…
  Paul: …gonna make it in Liverpool.
  Playboy: How much were you earning then?
  John: For that particular night, 20 dollars.
  Playboy: Apiece?
  John: For the group! Hell, we used to work for a lot less than that.
  Paul: We used to work for about three or four dollars a night.
  Ringo: Plus all the Coke we could drink. And we drank a lot.
  Playboy: Do you remember the first journalist who came to see you and said, I want to write about you?
  Ringo: We went round to them at first, didnt we?
  John: We went and said, Were a group and weve got this record out. Will you…
  George: And then the door would slam.
  Playboy: Weve heard it said that when you first went to America you were doubtful that youd make it over there.
  John: Thats true. We didnt think we were going to make it at all. It was only Brian telling us we were gonna make it. And George. Brian Epstein, our manager, and George Harrison.
  George: I knew we had a good chance—because of the record sales over there.
  John: The thing is, in America it just seemed ridiculous—I mean, the idea of having a hit record over there. It was just, you know, something you could never do. Thats what I thought, anyhow. But then I realized that its just the same as here, that kids everywhere all go for the same stuff. And seeing wed clone it in England and all, theres no reason why we couldnt do it in America, too. But the American disc jockeys didnt know about British records; they didnt play them; nobody promoted them, and so you didnt have hits.
  George: Well, there were one or two doing it as a novelty.
  John: But it wasnt until Time and Life and Newsweek came over and wrote articles and created an interest in us that the disc jockeys started playing our records. And Capitol said, Well, can we have their records? You know, they had been offered our records years ago, and they didnt want them. But when they heard we were big over here they said, Can we have em now? So we said, As long as you promote them. So Capitol promoted, and with them and all these articles on us, the records just took off.
  Playboy: Theres been some dispute, among your fans and critics, about whether youre primarily entertainers or musicians—or perhaps neither. Whats your own opinion?
  John: Were money-makers first; then were entertainers.
  Ringo: No, were not.
  John: What are we, then?
  Ringo: Dunno. Entertainers first.
  John: OK.
  Ringo: Cause we were entertainers before we were money-makers.
  John: Thats right, of course. Its just that the press drivels it into you, so you say it cause they like to hear it, you know?
  Paul: Still, wed be idiots to say that it isnt a constant inspiration to be making a lot of money. It always is, to anyone. I mean, why do big business tycoons stay big business tycoons? Its not because theyre inspired at the greatness of big business; theyre in it because theyre making money at it. Wed be idiots if we pretended we were in it solely for kicks. In the beginning we were, but at the same time, we were hoping to make a bit of cash. Its a switch around now, though, from what it used to be. We used to be doing it mainly for kicks and not making a lot of money, and now were making money without too many kicks—except that we happen to like the money were making. But we still enjoy making records, going onstage, making films, and all that business.
  John: We love every minute of it, Beatle people!
  Playboy: As hard-bitten refugees from the Liverpool slums—according to heartrending fan magazine biographies—do you feel prepared to cope with all this sudden wealth?
  Paul: Weve managed to make the adjustment. Contrary to rumor, you see, none of us was brought up in any slums or in great degrees of poverty. Weve always had enough; weve never been starving.
  John: Yeah, we saw these articles in the American fan mags that Those boys struggled up from the slums…
  George: We never starved. Even Ringo hasnt.
  Ringo: Even I.
  Playboy: What kind of families do you come from?
  George: Well, you know, not rich. Just workin class. Theyve got jobs. Just work.
  Playboy: What does your father do?
  George: Well, he doesnt do anything now. He used to be a bus driver…
  John: In the Merchant Navy.
  Playboy: Do you have any sisters or brothers, George?
  George: Ive got two brothers.
  John: And no sisters to speak of.
  Playboy: How about you, Paul?
  Paul: Ive got one brother, and a father who used to be a cotton salesman down in New Orleans, you know. Thats probably why I look a bit tanned. But seriously, folks, he occasionally had trouble paying bills—but it was never, you know, never, Go out and pick blackberries, son; were a bit short this week.
  Playboy: How about you, John?
  John: Oh, just the same. I used to have an auntie. And I had a dad whom I couldnt quite find.
  Ringo: John lived with the Mounties.
  John: Yeah, the Mounties. They fed me well. No starvation.
  Playboy: How about your family, Ringo, old man?
  Ringo: Just workin class. I was brought up with my mother and me grandparents. And then she married my stepfather when I was 13. All the time she was working. I never starved. I used to get most things.
  George: Never starved?
  Ringo: No, I never starved. She always fed me. I was an only child, so it wasnt amazing.
  Playboy: Its quite fashionable in some circles in America to hate your parents. But none of you seem to.
  Ringo: Were probably just as against the things our parents liked or stood for as they are in America. But we dont hate our parents for it.
  Playboy: Its often exactly the opposite in America.
  Paul: Well, you know, a lot of Americans are unbalanced. I dont care what you say. No, really. A lot of them are quite normal, of course, but weve met many unbalanced ones. You know the type of person, like the political Whig.
  Playboy: How do you mean?
  Paul: You know—the professional politician type; in authority sort of thing. Some of them are just mad! And Ive met some really maniac American girls! Like this girl who walked up to me in a press conference and said, Im Lily. I said, Hello, how do you do? and she said, Doesnt my name mean anything to you? I said, Ah, no… and I thought, Oh God, its one of these people that youve met and you should know. And so Derek, our press agent, who happened to be there at the time, hanging over my shoulder, giving me quotes, which happens at every press conference…
  George: You better not say that.
  Paul: Oh yes, thats not true, Beatle people! But he was sort of hanging about, and he said, Well, did you ring, or did you write, or something? And she said, No. And he said, Well, how did you get in touch with Paul? How do you know him? And she said, Through God. Well, there was sort of a ghastly silence. I mean, we both sort of gulped and blushed. I said, Well, thats very nice, Lily. Thanks very much. I must be off now.
  Playboy: There wasnt a big lightning bolt from the sky?
  Paul: No, there wasnt. But I talked to her afterward, and she said shed got a vision from God and God had said to her…
  John: Its been a hard days night. 
  Paul: No, God had said, Listen, Lil, Paul is waiting for you; hes in love with you and he wants to marry you, so go down and meet him, and hell know you right away. Its very funny, you know. I was trying to persuade her that she didnt in actual fact have a vision from God, that it was…
  George: It was probably somebody disguised as God.
  Paul: You wouldnt hardly ever meet somebody like that in England, but there seemed to me to be a lot like her in America.
  John: Well, there are a lot more people in America, so youve got a much bigger group to get nutters from.
  Playboy: Speaking of nutters, do you ever wake up in the morning, look in the mirror and say, My God, Im a Beatle?
  Paul: No, not quite. 
  John: Actually, we only do it in each others company. I know I never do it alone.
  Ringo: We used to do it more. Wed get in the car, Id look over at John and say, Christ, look at you; youre a bloody phenomenon! and just laugh—cause it was only him, you know. And a few old friends of ours done it, from Liverpool. Id catch em looking at me, and Id say, Whats the matter with you? Its just daft, them just screaming and laughing, thinking Im one of them people.
  Playboy: A Beatle?
  Ringo: Yes.
  Paul: The thing makes me know weve made it is like tonight, when we slipped into a sweetshop. In the old days we could have just walked into a sweetshop and nobody would have noticed us. We would have just got our sweets and gone out. But tonight we just walked in—it took a couple of seconds—and the people just dropped their sweets. Before, you see, there would have been no reaction at all. Except possibly, Look at that fellow with the long hair. Doesnt he look daft? But nowadays theyre just amazed; they cant believe it. But actually were no different.
  Playboy: The problem is that you dont seem to be like real people. Youre Beatles.
  Paul: I know. Its very funny, that.
  George: Its all the publicity.
  Paul: Were taken in by it, too. Because we react exactly the same way to the stars we meet. When we meet people weve seen on the telly or in films, we still think, Wow!
  John: Its a good thing, because we still get just as tickled.
  Paul: The thing is that people, when they see you on TV and in magazines and up in a film, and hear you on the radio, they never expect to meet you, you know, even our fans. Their wish is to meet you, but in the back of their mind they never think theyre actually gonna meet us. And so, when they do meet us, they just dont believe it.
  Playboy: Where do they find you—hiding in your hotel rooms?
  John: No, on the street, usually.
  Playboy: You mean youre brave enough to venture out in the streets without a bodyguard?
  Ringo: Sure.
  George: Were always on the street. Staggering about.
  Ringo: Floggin our bodies.
  George: You catch John sleeping in the gutter occasionally.
  Playboy: When people see you in the street, do you ever have any action?
  George: Well, not really, because when youre walking about, you dont bump into groups of people, as a rule. People dont walk round in gangs, as a rule.
  Playboy: Can you even go out shopping without getting mobbed by them, individually or collectively?
  John: We avoid that.
  Paul: The mountain comes to Mohammed.
  George: The shop comes to us, as he says. But sometimes we just roll into a store and buy the stuff and leg out again.
  Playboy: Isnt that like looking for trouble?
  Paul: No, we walk four times faster than the average person.
  Playboy: Can you eat safely in restaurants?
  George: Sure we can. I was there the other night.
  John: Where?
  George: Restaurants.
  Paul: Of course were known in the restaurants we go in.
  George: And usually its only Americans thatll bother you.
  Playboy: Really?
  George: Really. If we go into a restaurant in London, theres always going to be a couple of them eating there; you just tell the waiter to hold them off if they try to come over. If they come over anyway, you just sign.
  Ringo: But you know, the restaurants I go to, probably if I wasnt famous, I wouldnt go to them. Even if I had the same money and wasnt famous I wouldnt go to them, because the people that go to them are drags. The good thing when you go to a place where the people are such drags, such snobs, you see, is that they wont bother to come over to your table. They pretend they dont even know who you are, and you get away with an easy night.
  George: And they think theyre laughing at us, but really were laughing at them. Cause we know they know who we are.
  Ringo: Hows that?
  George: Theyre not going to be like the rest and ask for autographs.
  Ringo: And if they do, we just swear at em.
  George: Well, I dont, Beatle people. I sign the autograph and thank them profusely for coming over and offer them a piece of my chop.
  John: If were in the middle of a meal. I usually say, Do you mind waiting till Im finished?
  George: And then we keep eating until they give up and leave.
  John: Thats not true, Beatle people!
  Playboy: Apart from these occupational hazards, are you happy in your work? Do you really enjoy getting pelted by jelly beans and being drowned out by thousands of screaming subteenagers?
  Ringo: Yes.
  George: We still find it exciting.
  John: Well, you know…
  Paul: After a while, actually, you begin to get used to it, you know.
  Playboy: Can you really get used to this?
  Paul: Well, you still get excited when you go onto a stage and the audience is great, you know. But obviously youre not as excited as you were when you first heard that one of your records had reached number one. I mean, you really do go wild with excitement then; you go out drinking and celebrating and things.
  Ringo: Now we just go out drinkin anyway.
  Playboy: Do you stick pretty much together offstage?
  John: Well, yes and no. Groups like this are normally not friends, you know; theyre just four people out there thrown together to make an act. There may be two of them who sort of go off and are friends, you know, but…
  George: Just what do you mean by that?
  John: Strictly platonic, of course. But were all rather good friends, as it happens.
  Playboy: Then you do see a good deal of one another when youre not working?
  Paul: Well, you know, it depends. We neednt always go to the same places together. In earlier days, of course, when we didnt know London, and we didnt know anybody in London, then we really did stick together, and it would really just be like four fellows down from the north for a coach trip. But nowadays, you know, weve got our own girlfriends—theyre in London—so that we each normally go out with our girlfriends on our days off. Except for John, of course, whos married.
  Playboy: Do any of the rest of you have plans to settle down?
  Paul: I havent got any.
  George: Ringo and I are gettin married.
  Playboy: Oh? To whom?
  George: To each other. But thats a thing you better keep a secret.
  Ringo: You better not tell anybody.
  George: I mean, if we said something like that, peopled probably think were queers. After all, thats not the sort of thing you can put in a reputable magazine like Playboy. And anyway, we dont want to start the rumor going.
  Playboy: Wed better change the subject, then. Do you remember the other night when this girl came backstage…
  George: Naked…
  Playboy: Unfortunately not. And she said…
  George: Its been a hard days night.
  Playboy: No, she pointed at you, George, and said, Theres a Beatle! And you others said, Thats George. And she said, No, its a Beatle!
  John: And you said, This way to the bedroom.
  Playboy: No, it was, Would you like us to introduce you to him?
  John: I like my line better.
  Playboy: Well, the point is that she didnt believe that there was such a thing as an actual Beatle person.
  John: Shes right, you know.
  Playboy: Do you run across many like her?
  George: Is there any other kind?
  Playboy: In America, too?
  Ringo: Everywhere.
  Playboy: With no exceptions?
  John: In America, you mean?
  Playboy: Yes.
  John: A few.
  Paul: Yeah. Some of those American girls have been great.
  John: Like Joan Baez.
  Paul: Joan Baez is good, yeah, very good.
  John: Shes the only one I like.
  George: And Jayne Mansfield, Playboy made her.
  Paul: Shes a bit different, isnt she? Different.
  Ringo: Shes soft.
  George: Soft and warm.
  Paul: Actually, shes a clot.
  Ringo: Says Paul, the god of the Beatles.
  Paul: I didnt mean it, Beatle people! Actually, I havent even met her. But you wont print that anyway, of course, because Playboy is very pro-Mansfield. They think shes a rave. But she really is an old bag.
  Playboy: By the way, what are Beatle people?
  John: Its something they use in the fan mags in America. They all start out, Hi there, Beatle people, spect youre wondering what the Fab Foursome are doing these days! Now we use it all the time, too.
  Paul: Its low-level journalese.
  John: But I mean, you know, theres nothing wrong with that. Its harmless.
  Playboy: Speaking of low-level journalese, there was a comment in one of the London papers the other day that paralleled you guys with Hitler. Seriously! It said that you have the same technique of drawing cheers from the crowd…
  Paul: That power isnt so much us being like Hitler; its that the audiences and the show have got sort of, you know, a Hitler feel about them, because the audience will shout when theyre told to. Thats what that critic was talking about. Actually, that article was one which I really got annoyed about, cause shes never even met us.
  Playboy: She?
  Paul: The woman who wrote it. Shes never met us, but she was dead against us. Like that Hitler bit. And she said we were very boring people. The Boresome Foursome, she called us. You know, really, this woman was really just shouting her mouth off about us—as people, I mean.
  Ringo: Oh, come on.
  Paul: No, you come on. I rang up the newspaper, you know, but they wouldnt let me speak to her. In actual fact, they said, Well, Ill tell you, the reason we dont give her phone number out is because she never likes to speak to people on the phone because shes got a terrible stutter.
  So I never did actually follow it up. Felt sorry for her. But I mean, the cheek of her, writing this damn article about us. And telling everybody how were starting riots, and how we were such bores—and shes never even met us, mind you! I mean, we could turn around and say the same about her! I could go and thump her!
  George: Bastard fascist!
  Playboy: Ringo…
  Ringo: Yes, Playboy, sir?
  Playboy: How do you feel about the press? Has your attitude changed in the last year or so?
  Ringo: Yes.
  Playboy: In what way?
  Ringo: I hate em more now than I did before.
  Playboy: Did you hear about the riot in Glasgow on the night of your last show there?
  John: We heard about it after.
  Playboy: Did you know that the next day there was a letter in one of the Glasgow papers that accused you of directly inciting the violence?
  Ringo: How can they say that about us? We dont even wiggle. Its not bloody fair.
  George: Bastards!
  Paul: Glasgow is like Belfast. Therell probably be a bit of a skirmish there, too. But its not because of us. Its because people in certain cities just hate the cops more than in other cities.
  George: Right.
  Paul: There were ridiculous riots last time we were there—but it wasnt riots for us. The crowd was there for us, but the riots after our show…
  Ringo: All the drunks come out, out of the pubs.
  Paul: …It was just beatin up coppers.
  Playboy: They just used the occasion as a pretext to get at the cops?
  George: Yeah.
  Paul: In Dublin this trip, did you see where the crowd sort of stopped all the traffic? They even pulled a driver out of a bus.
  John: They also called out the fire brigade. We had four fire engines this time.
  Playboy: People were also overturning cars and breaking shop windows. But all this had nothing to do with your show?
  Paul: Well, its vaguely related, I suppose. Its got something to do with it, inasmuch as the crowds happen to be there because of our show.
  John: But nobody whos got a bit of common sense would seriously think that 15-year-old girls are going round smashing shop windows on account of us.
  George: Certainly not. Those girls are eight years old.
  Playboy: This talk of violence leads to a related question. Do you guys think therell be another war soon?
  George: Yeah. Friday.
  Ringo: I hope not. Not just after weve got our money through the taxes.
  John: The trouble is, if they do start another war, then everybody goes with you.
  Playboy: Do you think the Rolling Stones will be the first to go?
  Paul: It wont matter, cause well probably be in London or Liverpool at the time, and when they drop the bomb, itll be in the middle of the city. So we probably wont even know it when it happens.
  Playboy: We brought this up for a reason, fellows. There was an essay not long ago in a very serious commentary magazine, saying that before every major war in this century, there has been a major wave of public hysteria over certain specific entertainers. There was the Irene Castle craze before World War One…
  Paul: Oh, yes.
  George: I remember that well.
  Playboy: And then; before World War Two, there was the swing craze, with Benny Goodman and Artie Shaw, and all the dancing in the aisles. And now you—before…
  John: Hold on! Its not our fault!
  Playboy: Were not saying you may have anything to do with inciting a war…
  Paul: Thanks.
  Playboy: But dont you think you may be a symptom of the times, part of an undercurrent thats building up?
  Paul: That sort of comparison just falls down when you look at it, really. Its just like saying that this morning a fly landed on my bed and that I looked at my watch and it was eight oclock, and that therefore every morning at eight oclock flies land on the bed. It doesnt prove anything just cause it happens a few times.
  Playboy: Lets move on to another observation about you. Did you know that the Duke of Edinburgh was recently quoted as saying that he thought you were on your way out?
  John: Good luck, Duke.
  George: No comment. See my manager.
  Paul: He didnt say it, though. There was a retraction, wasnt there?
  John: Yeah, we got a telegram. Wonderful news.
  Paul: We sent one back. Addressed to Liz and Phil.
  Playboy: Have you ever met the Queen?
  John: No, shes the only one we havent met. Weve met all the others.
  Paul: All the mainstays.
  Playboy: Winston Churchill?
  Ringo: No, not him.
  John: Hes a good lad, though.
  Playboy: Would you like to meet him?
  George: Not really. Not more than anybody else.
  Paul: I dunno. Somebody like that you wish you could have met when he was really at his peak, you know, and sort of doing things and being great. But there wouldnt be a lot of point now, because hes sort of gone into retirement and doesnt do a lot of things anymore.
  Playboy: Is there any celebrity you would like to meet?
  Paul: I wouldnt mind meeting Adolf Hitler.
  George: You could have every room in your house papered.
  Playboy: Would you like to meet Princess Margaret?
  Paul: We have.
  Playboy: How do you like her?
  Ringo: OK. And Philips OK, too.
  Playboy: Even after what he supposedly said about you?
  Ringo: I dont care what he said; I still think hes OK. He didnt say nothing about me personally.
  Paul: Even if he had said things about us, it doesnt make him worse, you know.
  Playboy: Speaking of royalty…
  Paul: Royalty never condemns anything unless its something that they know everybody else condemns.
  Ringo: If I was royal…
  Paul: If I was royal I would crack long jokes and get a mighty laugh. If I was royal.
  George: What would we do with Buckingham Palace? Royaltys stupid.
  Playboy: You guys seem to be pretty irreverent characters. Are any of you churchgoers?
  John: No.
  George: No.
  Paul: Not particularly. But were not antireligious. We probably seem to be antireligious because of the fact that none of us believe in God.
  John: If you say you dont believe in God, everybody assumes youre antireligious, and you probably think thats what we mean by that. Were not quite sure what we are, but I know that were more agnostic than atheistic.
  Playboy: Are you speaking for the group or just for yourself?
  John: For the group.
  George: Johns our official religious spokesman.
  Paul: We all feel roughly the same. Were all agnostics.
  John: Most people are, anyway.
  Ringo: Its better to admit it than to be a hypocrite.
  John: The only thing weve got against religion is the hypocritical side of it, which I cant stand. Like the clergy is always moaning about people being poor, while they themselves are all going around with millions of quid worth of robes on. Thats the stuff I cant stand.
  Paul: A new bronze door stuck on the Vatican.
  Ringo: Must have cost a mighty penny.
  Paul: But believe it or not, were not anti-Christ.
  Ringo: Just anti-Pope and anti-Christian.
  Paul: But you know, in America…
  George: They were more shocked by us saying we were agnostics.
  John: They went potty; they couldnt take it. Same as in Australia, where they couldnt stand us not liking sports.
  Paul: In America theyre fanatical about God. I know somebody over there who said he was an atheist. The papers nearly refused to print it because it was such shocking news that somebody could actually be an atheist. Yeah, and admit it.
  Ringo: He speaks for all of us.
  Playboy: To bring up another topic thats shocking to some, how do you feel about the homosexual problem?
  George: Oh yeah, well, were all homosexuals, too.
  Ringo: Yeah, were all queer.
  Paul: But dont tell anyone.
  Playboy: Seriously, is there more homosexuality in England than elsewhere?
  John: Are you saying theres more over here than in America?
  Playboy: Were just asking.
  George: Its just that theyve got crewcuts in America. You cant spot em.
  Paul: Theres probably a million more queers in America than in England. England may have its scandals—like Profumo and all—but at least theyre heterosexual.
  John: Still, we do have more than our share of queers, dont you think?
  Paul: It just seems that way because theres more printed about them over here.
  Ringo: If they find out that somebody is a bit bent, the press will always splash it about.
  Paul: Right. Take Profumo, for example. Hes just an ordinary…
  Ringo: Sex maniac.
  Paul: …just an ordinary fellow who sleeps with women. Yet its adultery in the eyes of the law, and its an international incident. But in actual fact, if you check up on the statistics, you find that there are hardly any married men whove been completely faithful to their wives.
  John: I have! Listen, Beatle people…
  Paul: All right, we all know Johns spotless. But when a thing like that gets into the newspapers, everybody goes very, very Puritan, and they pretend that they dont know what sex is about.
  George: They get so bloody virtuous all of a sudden.
  Paul: Yes, and some poor heel has got to take the brunt of the whole thing. But in actual fact, if you ask the average Briton what they really think of the Profumo case, theyd probably say, He was knockin off some bird. So what?
  Playboy: Incidentally, youve met Mandy Rice-Davies, havent you?
  George: What are you looking at me for?
  Playboy: Because we hear she was looking at you.
  John: We did meet Christine Keeler.
  Ringo: Ill tell you who I met. I met whats-her-name—April Ashley.
  John: I met her, too, the other night.
  Playboy: Isnt she the one who used to be a man, changed her sex and married into the nobility?
  John: Thats the one.
  Ringo: She swears at me, you know. But when she sobers up she apologizes.
  John: Actually, I quite like her. Him. It. That.
  Paul: The trouble with saying something like, Profumo was just a victim of circumstances or April Ashley isnt so bad, even though shes changed sex—saying things like that in print to most people seems so shocking; whereas in actual fact, if you really think about it, it isnt. Just saying a thing like that sounds much more shocking than it is.
  Ringo: I got up in the Ad Lib the other night and a big handbag hit me in the gut. I thought it was somebody I knew; I didnt have any glasses on. I said, Hello, and a bloody big worker Arrgghhh. So I just ran into the bog. Because Id heard about things like that.
  Playboy: What are you talking about?
  George: He doesnt know.
  Playboy: Do you?
  George: Havent the slightest.
  Playboy: Can you give us a hint, Ringo? Whats the Ad Lib, for example?
  Ringo: Its a club.
  George: Like your Peppermint Lounge, and the Whisky à GoGo. Its the same thing.
  Paul: No, the English version is a little different.
  John: The Whisky à GoGo is exactly the same, isnt it, only they have someone dancing on the ceiling, dont they?
  George: Dont be ridiculous. They have two girls dancing on the roof; and in the Ad Lib they have a colored chap. Thats the difference.
  Playboy: We heard a rumor that one of you was thinking of opening a club.
  John: I wonder who it was, Ringo.
  Ringo: I dont know, John. There was a rumor, yes. I heard that one, too.
  Playboy: Is there any truth to it?
  Ringo: Well, yes. We was going to open one in Hollywood, but it fell through.
  John: Dino wouldnt let you take the place over.
  Ringo: No.
  Paul: And we decided its not worth it. So we decided to sit tight for six months and then buy…
  George: America.
  Playboy: Have you heard about the Playboy Club thats opening in London?
  Ringo: Yes, Ive heard about it.
  Playboy: What do you think of our Clubs?
  Ringo: Theyre for dirty old men, not for the likes of us—dirty young men. Theyre for businessmen that sneak out without their wives knowing, or if their wives sneak out first, for those who go out openly.
  George: Theres no real fun in a Bunnys fluffy tail.
  Playboy: Then you dont think a Club will make it here?
  George: Oh yes, course it will.
  Ringo: Theres enough dirty old men here.
  Playboy: Have you ever read the magazine?
  John: Yes.
  George: Yes.
  Ringo: I get my copy every month. Tits.
  Playboy: Do you read the Philosophy, any of you?
  Paul: Some of it. When the journeys really long and you cant last out the pictures, you start reading it. Its OK.
  Playboy: How about Playboys Jazz Poll? Do you read it, too?
  John: Occasionally.
  Playboy: Do you enjoy jazz, any of you?
  George: What kind?
  Playboy: American jazz.
  John: Who, for example?
  Playboy: You tell us.
  Paul: We only dig those who dig us.
  Playboy: Seriously, who? Anyone?
  John: Getz. But only because somebody gave me an album of his. With him and somebody called Iguana, or something like that.
  Playboy: You mean João Gilberto?
  John: I dont know. Some Mexican.
  Playboy: Hes Brazilian.
  John: Oh.
  Playboy: Are you guys getting tired of talking?
  John: No.
  Paul: No, lets order some drinks. Scotch or Coke?
  John: Ill have chocolate.
  George: Scotch for me and Paul and chocolate for the Beatle teenager.
  John: Scotch is bad for your kidneys.
  Paul: How about you, Ringo? Dont you want something to keep you awake while youre listening to all this rubbish?
  Ringo: Ill have a Coke.
  John: How about you, Playboy, are you man or woman?
  Paul: Its a Beatle people!
  George: Whos your fave rave?
  Paul: I love you!
  George: How gear.
  Playboy: Speaking of fave raves, why do you think the rock-n-roll phenomenon is bigger in England than in America?
  John: Is it?
  Paul: Yes. You see, in England, after us, you have thousands of groups coming out everywhere, but in America theyve just sort of had the same groups going for ages. Some have made it and some havent, but there arent really any new ones. If wed been over there instead of over here, there probably would have been the same upsurge over there. Our road manager made an interesting point the other day about this difference in America. In America the people who are the big stars are not our age. Theres nobody whos a really big star around our age. Possibly it may seem like a small point, but theres no conscription—no draft—here. In America we used to hear about somebody like Elvis, who was a very big star and then suddenly he was off in the Army.
  John: And the Everly Brothers.
  Paul: Yes, the Everly Brothers as well went into the Army at the height of their fame. And the Army seems to do something to singers. It may make them think that what theyre playing is stupid and childish. Or it may make them want to change their style, and consequently they may not be as popular when they come out of the Army. It may also make people forget them, and consequently they may have a harder job getting back on top when they get out. But here, of course, we dont have that problem.
  John: Except those who go to prison.
  Paul: Its become so easy to form a group nowadays, and to make a record, that hundreds are doing it—and making a good living at it. Whereas when we started, it took us a couple of years before the record companies would even listen to us, never mind give us a contract. But now, you just walk in and if they think youre OK, youre on.
  Playboy: Do you think you had anything to do with bringing all this about?
  John: Its a damn fact.
  Paul: Not only us. Us and people who followed us. But we were the first really to get national coverage because of some big shows that we did, and because of a lot of public interest in us.
  Playboy: What do you think is the most important element of your success—the personal appearances or the records?
  John: Records. Records always have been the main thing. P.A.s follow records. Our first records were made, and then we appeared.
  Playboy: Followed closely by Beatle dolls. Have you seen them?
  George: Theyre actually life size, you know.
  Playboy: The ones weve seen are only about five inches high.
  Paul: Well, were midgets, you see.
  Playboy: How does it make you feel to have millions of effigies of yourselves decorating bedsides all over the world? Dont you feel honored to have been immortalized in plastic? After all, theres no such thing as a Frank Sinatra doll or an Elvis Presley doll.
  George: Whod want an ugly old crap doll like that?
  Playboy: Would you prefer a George doll, George?
  George: No, but Ive got a Ringo doll at home.
  Playboy: Did you know that youre probably the first public figures to have dolls made of them—except maybe Yogi Berra?
  John: In Jellystone Park. Do you mean the cartoon?
  Playboy: No. Didnt you know that the cartoon character is based on a real person—Yogi Berra, the baseball player?
  George: Oh.
  Playboy: Didnt you know that?
  John: I didnt know that.
  Paul: Well, theyre making us into a cartoon, too, in the States. Its a series.
  John: The highest achievement you could ever get.
  Paul: We feel proud and humble.
  Playboy: Did you know, George, that at the corner of 47th Street and Broadway in New York, there is a giant cutout of you on display?
  George: Of me?
  Playboy: Life size.
  Ringo: Nude.
  Playboy: No—but the reason we mention it is that this is really a signal honor. For years on that corner, theres been a big store with life-size cutouts of Marilyn Monroe, Anita Ekberg or Jayne Mansfield in the window.
  John: And now its George.
  Paul: The only difference is theyve got bigger tits.
  Ringo: I suppose thats one way of putting it.
  George: The partys getting rough. Im going to go to bed. You carry on, though; Ill just stop my ears with cotton—so as not to hear the insults and the smutty language.
  Playboy: Weve just about run out of steam anyway.
  John: Do you have all you need?
  Playboy: Enough. Many thanks, fellows.
  John: Course a lot of it you wont be able to use—crap and bloody and tit and bastard and all.
  Playboy: Wait and see.
  Ringo: Finish your Scotch before you go.
  John: You dont mind if I climb into bed, do you? Im frazzled.
  Playboy: Not at all. Good night.
  Ringo: Good night, Playboy.
  George: Its been a hard days night.