text: Mean Mister Mustard sleeps in the park
  Shaves in the dark trying to save paper
  Sleeps in a hole in the road, yes he does
  Saving up to buy some clothes, yes he is
  He keeps a ten-bob note up his nose, yes he does
  Hes such a mean old man, yes he is
  Hes such a mean old man, yes he is
  His sister Shelly works in a shop
  She never stops, shes a go-getter
  Shes slaving up to look at the queen, god save the queen
  Only place that hes ever been, god save the queen
  Always shouts out something obscene
  Hes such a dirty old man
  Dirty old man
  His sister Bernice works in a furnace