text: Mean Mister Mustard sleeps in the park
  Shaves in the dark trying to save paper
  Sleeps in a hole in the road
  Saving up to buy some clothes
  Keeps a ten-bob note up his nose
  Hes such a mean old man
  Such a mean old man
  His sister Shirley works in a shop
  She never stops, shes a go-getter
  Takes him out to look at the Queen
  Its the only place that hes ever been
  Always shouts out something obscene
  Such a dirty old man
  Dirty old man 
  Mean Mr. Mustard
  Such a dirty, dirty
  Mean Mr. Mustard
  Such a dirty, dirty
  Mean Mr. Mustard
  Oh yeah brother, come here
  Ill grip your—grip your thigh
  Mean Mister Mustard sleeps in the park
  Shaves in the dark trying to save paper 
  Sleeps in a hole in the road
  Saving up to buy some clothes
  Keeps a ten-bob note up his nose
  Hes such a mean old man
  Such a mean old man