text: One, two, three, four
  Here comes Santa in his sleigh
  Those silver bells they sound so gay
  His shiny sleigh is heaped with toys
  To give to all good girls and boys
  With dolls and gollywogs and clockwork trains
  Trams, tin soldiers and little model planes
  Going to fill your stocking so long as youve been good
  And Im sure that you have because you know you should
  Middle eight!
  Have I got to sing that?
  Yes!
  No you dont sing, you just say it
  Okay
  All right?
  Right
  One, two, three . . .
  Cheerful face is wreathed in smiles
  Can see him coming for miles and miles
  As he passes by hell catch your ear
  With Merry Christmas, guys, and a happy New Year!
  Man!
  Shout that as a cheery Christmas greeting, Alan
  Yeah, shout that one out, right?
  Turkey and sausages and Christmas pud
  Have another helping John!
  Oh, I dont think I could
  Christmas parcels under the tree
  None for you and six for me!