text: He was playing pool and drinking beer
  Nothing moren the occasional tear
  But this mans life goes on he gets greased
  All over from time to time
  At the strip joint, where we met
  He said Hi, my name is Ted
  See that one over there
  That ball of thunder
  Every time she goes Vavoom
  I wiggle in my chair
  Can I buy you a beer?
  What a guy
  Ive had a few myself he said
  But I never quit when Im ahead
  Too many rules and regulations
  Stupid laws designed by fools behind closed doors
  And another thing I wont discuss is religion
  It always causes a fight
  Vavoom
  There she goes again
  How does she do that said Ted
  And he told me of those injustices 
  He had suffered in his life
  His wife and kids and boss and dogs
  And neighbours raising cain and causing strife
  They were forever whining
  Bleating howling yapping screeching moaning crying
  Vavoom
  He fed them well
  He keep them warm
  Ted, Ted the mechanic!
  Thing about Ted he didnt really care
  Nothing much got in his hair
  And the beauty of it was that he was right
  He was big as a truck and fast as a door
   he was always right
  The banjo player took a hike
  Whats that song I used to like
  Vavoom
  Big as a truck
  He was fast as a door - Ted
  What a guy!
  Ted the man, our Ted
  Ted the man, our Ted
  Ted the man, our Ted