‘_June 2, 1879._--Of course I cannot tell what God wills for me. I do not intend to do anything foolish. I do not even let my mind dwell _much_ on the joy of going to a Heavenly Home, because it would seem selfish at present to wish to desert others. I realise more the value of life below than I used to do, and am thankful that at former periods God did _not_ fulfil my wish to leave this Earth for a better. He is a poor soldier who is always pining for the end of the campaign!’