no that's right, yeah, I mean, I, I've said it, I don't care, but er I've said in the past that er, I think some of the reason me and Ann split up was, I mean she always used to say I never treated her right and all things like that, I did you know, and I do care for her, but a lot of the things was I never showed it because erm if anything bothered me I never know it showed and it didn't bloody bother me because I'd resolved myself after Julie that I'd never let anything bother me again