Speaker 1
My name is mark. I'm an alcoholic. My dad was an alcoholic too. Now I'm a mechanic. I've got a baby on the way.
Speaker 2
A male human. He has red hair. He has a thin build. He wears casual clothes. He wears glasses.
Speaker 1
My name is Mark. I am an alcoholic. I am going to be a father soon. I am a mechanic. My father was an alcoholic.
Speaker 2
My name is Jake. I am nearsighted. I do not like wearing glasses. I like fashion. I like to dress casually. I am thin. I like to work out. My father was not an alcoholic. My mother was an alcoholic. I have red hair. I hate my mother.
Speaker 1
Hey! My name is mark..
Speaker 2
Hey, I'm jake. How's it going?
Speaker 1
It's ok. Just dealing with alcoholism!
Speaker 2
That's unfortunate. I'm dealing with nearsightedness. I hate wearing glasses.
Speaker 1
I hear ya. So I have a baby on the way! That is good news..
Speaker 2
Congrats. How exciting. So any hobbies?
Speaker 1
Well, besides being a drunk and a mechanic, not really! You?
Speaker 2
I'm into fashion, although I dress casually. Into working out, although I'm thin.
Speaker 1
Did your father have a drinking issue like mine did?
Speaker 2
No, but my mom did. I hate her, she gave me red hair.
Speaker 1
I don't know what to say to that? I'm so sorry..
Speaker 2
It's okay. It is not your fault..
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Speaker 1
My name is Mark. I am an alcoholic. I am going to be a father soon. I am a mechanic. My father was an alcoholic.
Speaker 2
My name is Jake. I am nearsighted. I do not like wearing glasses. I like fashion. I like to dress casually. I am thin. I like to work out. My father was not an alcoholic. My mother was an alcoholic. I have red hair. I hate my mother.
Speaker 1
Since your relationship with your mother is so strained, do you have a close relationship with your father?
Speaker 2
I do not. He enabled her actions and attitude. 
Speaker 1
Who was a role model when you were a kid if you can't stand your parents
Speaker 2
People like the engineers at NASA and other nerds that I randomly met.
Speaker 1
Oh, that's nice, have made a workout breakthrough yet, like 100 pushups a day
Speaker 2
How do you do that many when your drunk all the time?
Speaker 1
Hmm. that's a good question, the first time I did push ups drunk I  puked after 3
Speaker 2
That must not have looked that good for your son.
Speaker 1
No, I told him not to do alcohol or that would happen to him 
Speaker 2
Thats good, I hope things are ok with the mother.
Speaker 1
Well, his mother is not ok with me being an acholic, so she does not trust me around him 
Speaker 2
Throwing up when you did pushups must have been really bad for her to see then
4 days
Speaker 1
My name is Mark. I am an alcoholic. I have down push ups while drunk and puked. I am going to be a father soon. I have a son. I encourage my son not to drink alcohol when he is older. My ex does not trust me around my son since I am an alcoholic. I am a mechanic. My father was an alcoholic.
Speaker 2
My name is Jake. I am nearsighted. I do not like wearing glasses. I like fashion. I like to dress casually. I am thin. I like to work out. My father was not an alcoholic. My mother was an alcoholic. I have red hair. I hate my mother. I do not have a close relationship with my mother or my father. I looked up to the engineers at NASA growing up.
Speaker 1
If you plan on having kids later on, what is something you would do differently than your parents did to ensure you have a better relationship with your kids?
Speaker 2
I would make sure to check in with them often and ask how they are doing, feeling, how their day went. I would listen. I would always be there for them.
Speaker 1
That sounds like a really good thing to do. Sometimes that is all that is needed.
Speaker 2
Yes, some people would think you have to buy them things but it's really about just being there for them. Them knowing you are there gives them confidence to go out into the world.
Speaker 1
Exactly, most the time children just want to spend time with their parents. They do not care what it is doing.
Speaker 2
So true. How is your son? Have you gotten a chance to spend time with him?
Speaker 1
I get to spend some time with him but I do not get to be with on my own though. People do not have much trust in me.
Speaker 2
I feel for you. Don't be hard on yourself. Slowly I hope you can rebuild trust with your ex.
Speaker 1
I am trying to get better but I may have lost my chance to be a good dad.
Speaker 2
It's never too late. I'm sure your son misses you and wants to spend time with you. Maybe if you go to some meetings your wife will trust you again. I really hope so.
Speaker 1
I hope so to. All I can do is do everything that I can and if it works out then that is good. I biggest fear is my son follows my path.
Speaker 2
I understand. You just want the best for him and you don't want him to be in pain or suffering. If your ex truly understood that, maybe she'd go to a meeting with you. It's hard when you feel alone with that kind of pain.
8 days
Speaker 1
My name is Mark. I am an alcoholic. I have down push ups while drunk and puked. I am going to be a father soon. I have a son. I encourage my son not to drink alcohol when he is older. My ex does not trust me around my son since I am an alcoholic. I am a mechanic. My father was an alcoholic. I have ex wife.
Speaker 2
My name is Jake. I am nearsighted. I do not like wearing glasses. I like fashion. I like to dress casually. I am thin. I like to work out. My father was not an alcoholic. My mother was an alcoholic. I have red hair. I hate my mother. I do not have a close relationship with my mother or my father. I looked up to the engineers at NASA growing up. I dont have kids.
Speaker 1
You thought about if you want to have kids or not
Speaker 2
I still think that I'm not quite ready, either emotionally or financially.
Speaker 1
I see. Are you currently dating anyone? 
Speaker 2
Not currently. Honestly, I'm not great with relationships; likely because my mom gave me such a poor example of what women could be. Have you made any progress with your ex?
Speaker 1
Well, not all women are same. But I understand where you are coming from. Well, I am about to see her next week when I go pick up my son. We've been mutual. She's currently dating someone. 
Speaker 2
Ouch! Do you still have feelings for her?
Speaker 1
I do. I been we've been together for 10 years. 
Speaker 2
I'm so sorry, maybe it will eventually work out when she sees how hard you're trying. Have you been to any meetings lately?
Speaker 1
I'm going to a rehab center.. I think i'm getting a little better. 
Speaker 2
That's awesome! Is it an outpatient center? You're doing the right thing for both yourself and your son. I hope that if I ever do have kids and I make a mistake, I can own up to it and take responsibility like you're doing now.
Speaker 1
Yes it is, because I work.  I'm sure you'll be a wonderful father. Kids are a blessing and a reminder for us to stay strong. 
Speaker 2
Thanks for the encouragement! I've been thinking about group therapy to help with my relationship issues.
13 days
Speaker 1
My name is Mark. I am an alcoholic. I have down push ups while drunk and puked. I am going to be a father soon. I have a son. I encourage my son not to drink alcohol when he is older. My ex does not trust me around my son since I am an alcoholic. I am a mechanic. My father was an alcoholic. I have ex wife.I still have feelings for my ex. I am in rehab. I have a job.
Speaker 2
My name is Jake. I am nearsighted. I do not like wearing glasses. I like fashion. I like to dress casually. I am thin. I like to work out. My father was not an alcoholic. My mother was an alcoholic. I have red hair. I hate my mother. I do not have a close relationship with my mother or my father. I looked up to the engineers at NASA growing up. I dont have kids. I don't have any kids. I am single. I am not good with relationships. I have been considering therapy to help with my relationship issues.
Speaker 1
I just had a nice interaction with my ex when I picked up my son.
Speaker 2
Yeah that is good to hear hopefully you can get yourself better and maybe sort things out with her or at least build a better relationship with her for your kid's sake.
Speaker 1
I really hope so I feel like i'm doing well now i'm getting the help I need to get me on the straight and narrow.
Speaker 2
Yeah thats good your son will be proud of you for making the change for him. My mum never wanted to change and it ended up taking her away from me, she never could face her demons.
Speaker 1
I bet that must of been horrible for you and I realise that my kid is now in the position you were in. He's given me a reason to better myself.
Speaker 2
He needs you more than you can imagine and if he's anything like I was he just wants you better and there for him.
Speaker 1
I feel like the changes I have made are working. I want to show his mum i'm changing too and I hope she may give me another chance one day.
Speaker 2
Just concentrate on you and your kid first, once you get to the place you need to be things will fall in to place I'm sure.
Speaker 1
I hope so, it is so nice to have someone to chat to like you that knows what i'm going through really helps me a lot to have someone to speak to about these things.
Speaker 2
Yeah i'm glad I can be of help to you, I know where this can go I seen what it did to my mum and my relationship with her. Everyone deserves a chance to change and get the help they need.
Speaker 1
Thanks it really does mean a lot to me and gives me even more reason to better myself.
Speaker 2
Your welcome I'm always here to talk to if you need me. 
13 days 2 hours