The Technical BSD Conference 2016 - The opening session
Langille, Dan
There will be a few short announcements before and after the keynote.
 Welcome to BSD CAN 2016. Show of hands, who's here for the very first time? Okay, leave your hands up. Leave your hands up if you're here for the first time. Okay, everyone who's been here before, look to the nearest person who has their hand up. It is your job later on this morning to introduce that person to two other people here, okay? Two other people here that have been here before asked that person who had their hand up what they're interested in and then you find someone else here at BSD CAN who is also interested in that, okay? Anyone not want to do that? Good. And usually the person you want to introduce them to is Peter Wem, okay? Could I speak up? Can we turn the volume up a bit? Andrew? There's an echo. There's an echo. So if I just talk loudly, you can hear me okay? Or is it just that the speaker is doing it weird? What would you say? Graph is in the house. Out of my hands. No, no, no, no. No, no, no. Your responsible form until the closing session when he gets transferred. No, no. The handler is responsible until the handover which is at the closing session. Is that better? Hands up if there's an empty seat. People are looking for seats. Two seats. Two seats down here. Seat, seat. Yeah, you can get in. Everybody in. For the new people, there are a lot of interesting things that happen during the opening session. Maybe that's the closing session. Where am I? Oh, yeah. Wrong one. There, that's better. Okay. Welcome to Ottawa. Every afternoon there's a closing, changing the guard session up on Parliament Hill if you've never seen one, go and see one. Don't do it today or tomorrow. One of the things we wondered, there's only a few people that have been to every BSG can. Who's been to every BSG can? David Maxwell? I can't see who's in the back. Kirk? Okay, so that's four of us. How many have missed just one? How many have missed just two? And one of the guys that's missed just one is Andrew, put your hand up, Andrew. He's the AV guy. He's been with us every single year from U of O. So in this session we're going to go through the sponsors. We have a few points of order that you should know about the conference. We have some prizes, some hardware giveaways. And then we're going to go on to the talks. And I also have a short little discussion about a clock. You'll be interested in that maybe. IAC systems and EMC have been sponsors for a very long time. Thank you. Not just for these sponsors, but for all sponsors. If you have day-to-day contact with those sponsors, tell them, hey, I noticed you sponsored BSTCAN and tell them why BSTCAN is important to you, please. Thank you. Free BST Foundation, Google, and my employer, Talis. Thank you. Tarsna, who doesn't know Colin? Colin? Colin? Rod Grimes. Rod Grimes? Colin? If you don't know who Rod Grimes is, look it up. You all know who Intel is. And you, VBSG-CON, where's the guy from VBSG-CON? Yeah. N-Y-O, I host a lot of infrastructure, including some of my servers. Backtraces here and Microsoft, if you don't have your coupon for a VM, I'm sure you can show get one. Thank you. Anyone not know Alan? Alan? Alan? Alan's down here. Am I pronouncing NETS commune right? Okay. Say it again? Okay. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Over here. Hi. Domo, Malinox, Michael. Where's Michael? Michael's here. Thank you, Michael. And Shopify. Thank you. And with VBSG inside, we've got NetApp and PlayStation. Yay, PlayStation. Now the program committee does the job of reviewing the submitted talks and deciding which ones you don't want to hear. And that's harder than it sounds because sometimes we get down to the top end talks and it has to be N minus three and we can't figure out which three talks are the least deserving because that part is actually very difficult. So if you see these people, ask them, can I be on program committee? Okay. So think about that for next year. Thank you. Is Jennifer here? If you were at registration last night, you might have met Jennifer. She was there for a little while. All the speakers have heard from Jennifer, but probably not met her, but she's been helping me out now. This is the second year, third year, third year, I think, of doing a lot of the things that allow me to do the things that only I can do at the moment. Drew is on the registration desk. Drew's been here every year. I'm sure she's been here every year, even from the days when she used to live in Ottawa. John Thompson does a lot of work for me talking to the hotels and getting the website up to date. And Brody is Brody in. Brody's been doing a lot of running around for me. Please go get some photocopies. Please go get the badges, stuff like that. Thank you. Okay. Lunch is in about three hours. So if you're going to the boff, a boff is the birds of a feather session. Usually you've got a topic and you'd like to talk about it and a bunch of people all get together and talk about it. It's different from a lecture where someone stands out at the front and drones on and on and on. Instead you're all talking amongst yourselves about an interest, a common interest. So grab lunch, go to the boff, the boff are on the schedules. It's going to be snacks and coffee at 2.30, later on tonight, 6.00 p.m., there's Doc Sprints in DMS 1120, which is just over here. Hacker lounge is in the ground floor of residence. That's on the map. Everyone is welcome there. You don't have to be a coder. You don't have to be a contributor or anything like that. Just come in, bring your laptop, there's Wi-Fi, hang out. Tomorrow morning, don't show up so early. There will be food and beverages out there just like there was this morning, only it's an hour later. Oh yeah, when you're in the hacker lounge, bring your own extension court. It always helps. Leave it tidy, ground floor residence every night, Wednesday to Saturday, but you can't be there Friday morning from 6 to 8 a.m. Okay? There's another event on. Okay? Yes. Last person to leave, lock it up. If it is locked, the key is at the ground floor registration desk, lobby, hotel chicken thing. This list of buffs may be out of date, but I talked about the buffs earlier. There's one on ZFS, there's one on Haskell, there's a Metabuff, which is all about user groups. Isn't it George? Is that right, George? George? Yep. There's one on BACULA and backups, I'll be doing one on BACULA and backups, and then there's one on BSTs and privacy technologies. SGR got added later, I'm sorry. I created these slides before that. Sorry? What does SGR stand for? Software defined radio. So basically you get a radio, you plug it in, it works. It's like a USB key. We give you these lovely bags with Intel on the outside. If for some reason you can't find enough from your luggage, give them back to us. We give them to a food bank. They use it to have their clients take the food home with. The very bottom of every event in the schedule, there's this little feedback thing. It's out of date, I think. This is two years ago, but it's added. Click on that, give your feedback. Let me know how much you liked my session. Okay. Somebody's... Oh, look around. Have you lost your ticket for the party? Because someone just found a ticket for the party. Now I have three. We can auction it off. We have a hardware giveaway. Sean Webb from Hardin' BST has some hardware that he wants to give away. The way we're going to do this, who's the oldest here? Put up your hand. Who's over seven-day? Who's over six-day? How old are you, Jim? What month? You older than the 62? I guess he wins. Tell us what this hardware is. This is a Raspberry Pi 3. It includes already the SD card that you'll need with it and a serial cable, so it's completely ready to go. Main purpose for this is to get the BSTs running on the RPI 3 so we can take away some market share from Linux. So the easiest way to do this, if you can come down and get it now, please. Guys, someone will try to impersonate you later and steal it. Now the next one is youngest in the crowd, and I think I already know who that might be. Is there anyone here under 20? Who's under 20? Anyone else? Anyone under 18? Anyone under 18? Okay. You win. There's lots of ways to figure out how to use this. Who got their source commit bit in the past month? Anyone in the past month get their source commit bit in the past month? Sit down, sir. Anyone less than a month? Anyone two months ago? Anyone in the past? I think I know who wins the next one, too. Would it be Rod or Kurt? Who's been... Rod has the oldest UID. For the free BST project, yeah, but this is across all BST. Okay. For the people listening, the candidates are arguing about who's older. It says any BST. It clearly says any BST. Would you work with it, though? Would you use it? Okay. Okay. Thank you, Sean. One of the benefits of running your own conference is you get to stand up the front and talk about something that nobody wants to listen to. I'm going to talk about a clock. The reason I'm going to talk about a clock is I was listening. My girlfriend, Kathy, is an NP practitioner with a specialty in geriatrics. When you get older, one of the things that they do is to test how your memory works. One of the things they do is they get you to draw a clock, and then they get you to draw a time on that clock. I listened to a radio broadcast about a guy who had great difficulty with this. He had completely forgotten how to draw a clock. What he did is he sat down and analyzed what a clock was. He found three different levels to a clock. When you listen to these three different levels, you find out what a terrible design a clock is. It is not logical at all. For instance, the biggest hand denotes the smallest unit of time. The smallest hand denotes the largest unit of time. The middle one denotes the middle time. What's even stupider is the same values, the same numbers represent different values depending on which scale you're reading it on. This may be noon, but it's one minute afternoon, but it could also be, even explaining it is hard. This is five minutes, or it's an hour, depending on which scale you're using. If a clock was to be designed today and submitted as part of a UI, people would ridicule it and say, that's terrible. That's absolutely stupid. Why are you doing it that way? Nobody can use that. Yet everyone here, I assume, knows how to use this. Everyone considers that you look up the clock and you can tell what time it is right away, just like that. There's no thought process really involved that you can see up. It's actually not a bad design, but if you were to see it for the first time and you listen to the points I just made, you say, that's terrible. It would be flamed to crap on any user list, I'm sure. Anyway, thank you for... Yeah. Yeah, it's AM or PM, you mean? What? Correct. It was pointed out that a given clock face represents two different times a day at any point in time. Just because it seems stupid to you when you first see it, give it a little bit of time. It may actually turn out to be the best thing ever. Moving on from that, everyone was here for the first time at some time. Don't be so judgmental of people that are here for the first time. Welcome them in. Tell them what Beaver Tails are. Tell them why they should come to the closing session. Sorry. Don't push them into the sinkhole. Any questions so far? Yes, if your Type 1 diabetic Beaver Tails are not the best for you. Anyone else? Any other questions? All right. Because if there's no more questions, you go on to the talks. Do you really want to go on to the talks? No. We want to hear you. I thought so. More clocks. Question. Yes. What is this year's charity auction recipient? Good question. This year's charity auction recipient, as in most previous years, is the auto emission. If you ever walk down this street into the market, the auto emission will be on the right hand side. They get the results of this conference and the other conference I run, which is PGCon. I forget the amount they got last time. I think it was, do you remember? I can't recall. It's on Twitter somewhere. $1,500 or something. It all gets raised from the charity auction at the end, where yes, I auction off a cookie. I auctioned off at the PostgreSQL database users conference. I auctioned off a toothbrush for $100. Is it the one with the put cream on it? No. Not that one. It was a toothbrush from Japan that had the word oracle written on the toothbrush. Those of you that know databases know that oracle in PostgreSQL, one is much better than the other. Any other questions? Any other things to add? No? Yes? It was pointed out that the hands and the clock make perfect sense because you don't go by the length of the arms, you go by the width of the arms. Yeah. I don't think it would get by. I think if it was designed today, people would ridicule it. Yeah. Okay. Oh, yeah. Question? Yeah, question? Yeah, question? There's humorous anecdotes from Warner Lash at the back of the room and everybody laughed. He says he just thinks of these things. I'm sorry, Lindy. Okay, so I guess it's on to the talk, then. Have a good time. And if you have any questions, ask the registration desk, put it on Twitter or Facebook or something like that. And hashtag BSDCan. Thank you. See you soon. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
 Welcome to BSD CAN 2016.  Show of hands, who's here for the very first time?  Okay, leave your hands up.  Leave your hands up if you're here for the first time.  Okay, everyone who's been here before, look to the nearest person who has their hand up.  It is your job later on this morning to introduce that person to two other people here, okay?  Two other people here that have been here before asked that person who had their hand  up what they're interested in and then you find someone else here at BSD CAN who is also  interested in that, okay?  Anyone not want to do that?  Good.  And usually the person you want to introduce them to is Peter Wem, okay?  Could I speak up?  Can we turn the volume up a bit?  Andrew?  There's an echo.  There's an echo.  So if I just talk loudly, you can hear me okay?  Or is it just that the speaker is doing it weird?  What would you say?  Graph is in the house.  Out of my hands.  No, no, no, no.  No, no, no.  Your responsible form until the closing session when he gets transferred.  No, no.  The handler is responsible until the handover which is at the closing session.  Is that better?  Hands up if there's an empty seat.  People are looking for seats.  Two seats.  Two seats down here.  Seat, seat.  Yeah, you can get in.  Everybody in.  For the new people, there are a lot of interesting things that happen during the opening session.  Maybe that's the closing session.  Where am I?  Oh, yeah.  Wrong one.  There, that's better.  Okay.  Welcome to Ottawa.  Every afternoon there's a closing, changing the guard session up on Parliament Hill if  you've never seen one, go and see one.  Don't do it today or tomorrow.  One of the things we wondered, there's only a few people that have been to every BSG can.  Who's been to every BSG can?  David Maxwell?  I can't see who's in the back.  Kirk?  Okay, so that's four of us.  How many have missed just one?  How many have missed just two?  And one of the guys that's missed just one is Andrew, put your hand up, Andrew.  He's the AV guy.  He's been with us every single year from U of O.  So in this session we're going to go through the sponsors.  We have a few points of order that you should know about the conference.  We have some prizes, some hardware giveaways.  And then we're going to go on to the talks.  And I also have a short little discussion about a clock.  You'll be interested in that maybe.  IAC systems and EMC have been sponsors for a very long time.  Thank you.  Not just for these sponsors, but for all sponsors.  If you have day-to-day contact with those sponsors, tell them, hey, I noticed you sponsored  BSTCAN and tell them why BSTCAN is important to you, please.  Thank you.  Free BST Foundation, Google, and my employer, Talis.  Thank you.  Tarsna, who doesn't know Colin?  Colin?  Colin?  Rod Grimes.  Rod Grimes?  Colin?  If you don't know who Rod Grimes is, look it up.  You all know who Intel is.  And you, VBSG-CON, where's the guy from VBSG-CON?  Yeah.  N-Y-O, I host a lot of infrastructure, including some of my servers.  Backtraces here and Microsoft, if you don't have your coupon for a VM, I'm sure you can  show get one.  Thank you.  Anyone not know Alan?  Alan?  Alan?  Alan's down here.  Am I pronouncing NETS commune right?  Okay.  Say it again?  Okay.  Thank you.  Thank you.  Thank you.  Over here.  Hi.  Domo, Malinox, Michael.  Where's Michael?  Michael's here.  Thank you, Michael.  And Shopify.  Thank you.  And with VBSG inside, we've got NetApp and PlayStation.  Yay, PlayStation.  Now the program committee does the job of reviewing the submitted talks and deciding  which ones you don't want to hear.  And that's harder than it sounds because sometimes we get down to the top end talks and it has  to be N minus three and we can't figure out which three talks are the least deserving  because that part is actually very difficult.  So if you see these people, ask them, can I be on program committee?  Okay.  So think about that for next year.  Thank you.  Is Jennifer here?  If you were at registration last night, you might have met Jennifer.  She was there for a little while.  All the speakers have heard from Jennifer, but probably not met her, but she's been  helping me out now.  This is the second year, third year, third year, I think, of doing a lot of the things  that allow me to do the things that only I can do at the moment.  Drew is on the registration desk.  Drew's been here every year.  I'm sure she's been here every year, even from the days when she used to live in Ottawa.  John Thompson does a lot of work for me talking to the hotels and getting the website up to  date.  And Brody is Brody in.  Brody's been doing a lot of running around for me.  Please go get some photocopies.  Please go get the badges, stuff like that.  Thank you.  Okay.  Lunch is in about three hours.  So if you're going to the boff, a boff is the birds of a feather session.  Usually you've got a topic and you'd like to talk about it and a bunch of people all  get together and talk about it.  It's different from a lecture where someone stands out at the front and drones on and  on and on.  Instead you're all talking amongst yourselves about an interest, a common interest.  So grab lunch, go to the boff, the boff are on the schedules.  It's going to be snacks and coffee at 2.30, later on tonight, 6.00 p.m., there's Doc Sprints  in DMS 1120, which is just over here.  Hacker lounge is in the ground floor of residence.  That's on the map.  Everyone is welcome there.  You don't have to be a coder.  You don't have to be a contributor or anything like that.  Just come in, bring your laptop, there's Wi-Fi, hang out.  Tomorrow morning, don't show up so early.  There will be food and beverages out there just like there was this morning, only it's  an hour later.  Oh yeah, when you're in the hacker lounge, bring your own extension court.  It always helps.  Leave it tidy, ground floor residence every night, Wednesday to Saturday, but you can't  be there Friday morning from 6 to 8 a.m.  Okay?  There's another event on.  Okay?  Yes.  Last person to leave, lock it up.  If it is locked, the key is at the ground floor registration desk, lobby, hotel chicken  thing.  This list of buffs may be out of date, but I talked about the buffs earlier.  There's one on ZFS, there's one on Haskell, there's a Metabuff, which is all about user  groups.  Isn't it George?  Is that right, George?  George?  Yep.  There's one on BACULA and backups, I'll be doing one on BACULA and backups, and then  there's one on BSTs and privacy technologies.  SGR got added later, I'm sorry.  I created these slides before that.  Sorry?  What does SGR stand for?  Software defined radio.  So basically you get a radio, you plug it in, it works.  It's like a USB key.  We give you these lovely bags with Intel on the outside.  If for some reason you can't find enough from your luggage, give them back to us.  We give them to a food bank.  They use it to have their clients take the food home with.  The very bottom of every event in the schedule, there's this little feedback thing.  It's out of date, I think.  This is two years ago, but it's added.  Click on that, give your feedback.  Let me know how much you liked my session.  Okay.  Somebody's...  Oh, look around.  Have you lost your ticket for the party?  Because someone just found a ticket for the party.  Now I have three.  We can auction it off.  We have a hardware giveaway.  Sean Webb from Hardin' BST has some hardware that he wants to give away.  The way we're going to do this, who's the oldest here?  Put up your hand.  Who's over seven-day?  Who's over six-day?  How old are you, Jim?  What month?  You older than the 62?  I guess he wins.  Tell us what this hardware is.  This is a Raspberry Pi 3.  It includes already the SD card that you'll need with it and a serial cable, so it's completely  ready to go.  Main purpose for this is to get the BSTs running on the RPI 3 so we can take away some market  share from Linux.  So the easiest way to do this, if you can come down and get it now, please.  Guys, someone will try to impersonate you later and steal it.  Now the next one is youngest in the crowd, and I think I already know who that might  be.  Is there anyone here under 20?  Who's under 20?  Anyone else?  Anyone under 18?  Anyone under 18?  Okay.  You win.  There's lots of ways to figure out how to use this.  Who got their source commit bit in the past month?  Anyone in the past month get their source commit bit in the past month?  Sit down, sir.  Anyone less than a month?  Anyone two months ago?  Anyone in the past?  I think I know who wins the next one, too.  Would it be Rod or Kurt?  Who's been...  Rod has the oldest UID.  For the free BST project, yeah, but this is across all BST.  Okay.  For the people listening, the candidates are arguing about who's older.  It says any BST.  It clearly says any BST.  Would you work with it, though?  Would you use it?  Okay.  Okay.  Thank you, Sean.  One of the benefits of running your own conference is you get to stand up the front and talk about  something that nobody wants to listen to.  I'm going to talk about a clock.  The reason I'm going to talk about a clock is I was listening.  My girlfriend, Kathy, is an NP practitioner with a specialty in geriatrics.  When you get older, one of the things that they do is to test how your memory works.  One of the things they do is they get you to draw a clock, and then they get you to  draw a time on that clock.  I listened to a radio broadcast about a guy who had great difficulty with this.  He had completely forgotten how to draw a clock.  What he did is he sat down and analyzed what a clock was.  He found three different levels to a clock.  When you listen to these three different levels, you find out what a terrible design a clock  is.  It is not logical at all.  For instance, the biggest hand denotes the smallest unit of time.  The smallest hand denotes the largest unit of time.  The middle one denotes the middle time.  What's even stupider is the same values, the same numbers represent different values depending  on which scale you're reading it on.  This may be noon, but it's one minute afternoon, but it could also be, even explaining it is  hard.  This is five minutes, or it's an hour, depending on which scale you're using.  If a clock was to be designed today and submitted as part of a UI, people would ridicule it  and say, that's terrible.  That's absolutely stupid.  Why are you doing it that way?  Nobody can use that.  Yet everyone here, I assume, knows how to use this.  Everyone considers that you look up the clock and you can tell what time it is right away,  just like that.  There's no thought process really involved that you can see up.  It's actually not a bad design, but if you were to see it for the first time and you  listen to the points I just made, you say, that's terrible.  It would be flamed to crap on any user list, I'm sure.  Anyway, thank you for...  Yeah.  Yeah, it's AM or PM, you mean?  What?  Correct.  It was pointed out that a given clock face represents two different times a day at any  point in time.  Just because it seems stupid to you when you first see it, give it a little bit of time.  It may actually turn out to be the best thing ever.  Moving on from that, everyone was here for the first time at some time.  Don't be so judgmental of people that are here for the first time.  Welcome them in.  Tell them what Beaver Tails are.  Tell them why they should come to the closing session.  Sorry.  Don't push them into the sinkhole.  Any questions so far?  Yes, if your Type 1 diabetic Beaver Tails are not the best for you.  Anyone else?  Any other questions?  All right.  Because if there's no more questions, you go on to the talks.  Do you really want to go on to the talks?  No.  We want to hear you.  I thought so.  More clocks.  Question.  Yes.  What is this year's charity auction recipient?  Good question.  This year's charity auction recipient, as in most previous years, is the auto emission.  If you ever walk down this street into the market, the auto emission will be on the right  hand side.  They get the results of this conference and the other conference I run, which is PGCon.  I forget the amount they got last time.  I think it was, do you remember?  I can't recall.  It's on Twitter somewhere.  $1,500 or something.  It all gets raised from the charity auction at the end, where yes, I auction off a cookie.  I auctioned off at the PostgreSQL database users conference.  I auctioned off a toothbrush for $100.  Is it the one with the put cream on it?  No.  Not that one.  It was a toothbrush from Japan that had the word oracle written on the toothbrush.  Those of you that know databases know that oracle in PostgreSQL, one is much better than  the other.  Any other questions?  Any other things to add?  No?  Yes?  It was pointed out that the hands and the clock make perfect sense because you don't  go by the length of the arms, you go by the width of the arms.  Yeah.  I don't think it would get by.  I think if it was designed today, people would ridicule it.  Yeah.  Okay.  Oh, yeah.  Question?  Yeah, question?  Yeah, question?  There's humorous anecdotes from Warner Lash at the back of the room and everybody laughed.  He says he just thinks of these things.  I'm sorry, Lindy.  Okay, so I guess it's on to the talk, then.  Have a good time.  And if you have any questions, ask the registration desk, put it on Twitter or Facebook or something  like that.  And hashtag BSDCan.  Thank you.  See you soon.  Thank you.  Thank you.  Thank you.  Thank you.  Thank you.
The_opening_session_7cY5Gb0P_4c_0_3599.png The_opening_session_7cY5Gb0P_4c_3600_3743.png The_opening_session_7cY5Gb0P_4c_3744_3791.png The_opening_session_7cY5Gb0P_4c_3792_3887.png The_opening_session_7cY5Gb0P_4c_3888_3947.png The_opening_session_7cY5Gb0P_4c_3948_5207.png The_opening_session_7cY5Gb0P_4c_5208_5699.png The_opening_session_7cY5Gb0P_4c_5700_6311.png The_opening_session_7cY5Gb0P_4c_6312_7775.png The_opening_session_7cY5Gb0P_4c_7776_8303.png The_opening_session_7cY5Gb0P_4c_8304_8855.png The_opening_session_7cY5Gb0P_4c_8856_10163.png The_opening_session_7cY5Gb0P_4c_10164_11459.png The_opening_session_7cY5Gb0P_4c_11460_15755.png The_opening_session_7cY5Gb0P_4c_15756_16835.png The_opening_session_7cY5Gb0P_4c_16836_22859.png The_opening_session_7cY5Gb0P_4c_22860_27203.png The_opening_session_7cY5Gb0P_4c_27204_27923.png The_opening_session_7cY5Gb0P_4c_27924_28667.png The_opening_session_7cY5Gb0P_4c_28668_28727.png The_opening_session_7cY5Gb0P_4c_28728_31655.png The_opening_session_7cY5Gb0P_4c_31656_31703.png The_opening_session_7cY5Gb0P_4c_31704_31787.png The_opening_session_7cY5Gb0P_4c_31788_31835.png The_opening_session_7cY5Gb0P_4c_31836_32795.png The_opening_session_7cY5Gb0P_4c_32796_32879.png The_opening_session_7cY5Gb0P_4c_32880_33227.png The_opening_session_7cY5Gb0P_4c_33228_33371.png The_opening_session_7cY5Gb0P_4c_33372_33390.png
Welcome to BSD CAN 2016. Show of hands, who's here for the very first time? Okay, leave your hands up. Leave your hands up if you're here for the first time. Okay, everyone who's been here before, look to the nearest person who has their hand up. It is your job later on this morning to introduce that person to two other people here, okay? Two other people here that have been here before asked that person who had their hand up what they're interested in and then you find someone else here at BSD CAN who is also interested in that, okay? Anyone not want to do that? Good. And usually the person you want to introduce them to is Peter Wem, okay? Could I speak up? Can we turn the volume up a bit? Andrew? There's an echo. There's an echo. So if I just talk loudly, you can hear me okay? Or is it just that the speaker is doing it weird? What would you say? Graph is in the house. Out of my hands. No, no, no, no. No, no, no. Your responsible form until the closing session when he gets transferred. No, no. The handler is responsible until the handover which is at the closing session. Is that better? Hands up if there's an empty seat. People are looking for seats. Two seats. Two seats down here. Seat, seat. Yeah, you can get in. Everybody in. For the new people, there are a lot of interesting things that happen during the opening session. Maybe that's the closing session. Where am I? Oh, yeah. Wrong one. There, that's better. Okay. Welcome to Ottawa. Every afternoon there's a closing, changing the guard session up on Parliament Hill if you've never seen one, go and see one. Don't do it today or tomorrow. One of the things we wondered, there's only a few people that have been to every BSG can. Who's been to every BSG can? David Maxwell? I can't see who's in the back. Kirk? Okay, so that's four of us. How many have missed just one? How many have missed just two? And one of the guys that's missed just one is Andrew, put your hand up, Andrew. He's the AV guy. He's been with us every single year from U of O. So in this session we're going to go through the sponsors. We have a few points of order that you should know about the conference. We have some prizes, some hardware giveaways. And then we're going to go on to the talks. And I also have a short little discussion about a clock. You'll be interested in that maybe. IAC systems and EMC have been sponsors for a very long time. Thank you. Not just for these sponsors, but for all sponsors. If you have day-to-day contact with those sponsors, tell them, hey, I noticed you sponsored BSTCAN and tell them why BSTCAN is important to you, please. Thank you. Free BST Foundation, Google, and my employer, Talis. Thank you. Tarsna, who doesn't know Colin? Colin? Colin? Rod Grimes. Rod Grimes? Colin? If you don't know who Rod Grimes is, look it up. You all know who Intel is. And you, VBSG-CON, where's the guy from VBSG-CON? Yeah. N-Y-O, I host a lot of infrastructure, including some of my servers. Backtraces here and Microsoft, if you don't have your coupon for a VM, I'm sure you can show get one. Thank you. Anyone not know Alan? Alan? Alan? Alan's down here. Am I pronouncing NETS commune right? Okay. Say it again? Okay. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Over here. Hi. Domo, Malinox, Michael. Where's Michael? Michael's here. Thank you, Michael. And Shopify. Thank you. And with VBSG inside, we've got NetApp and PlayStation. Yay, PlayStation. Now the program committee does the job of reviewing the submitted talks and deciding which ones you don't want to hear. And that's harder than it sounds because sometimes we get down to the top end talks and it has to be N minus three and we can't figure out which three talks are the least deserving because that part is actually very difficult. So if you see these people, ask them, can I be on program committee? Okay. So think about that for next year. Thank you. Is Jennifer here? If you were at registration last night, you might have met Jennifer. She was there for a little while. All the speakers have heard from Jennifer, but probably not met her, but she's been helping me out now. This is the second year, third year, third year, I think, of doing a lot of the things that allow me to do the things that only I can do at the moment. Drew is on the registration desk. Drew's been here every year. I'm sure she's been here every year, even from the days when she used to live in Ottawa. John Thompson does a lot of work for me talking to the hotels and getting the website up to date. And Brody is Brody in. Brody's been doing a lot of running around for me. Please go get some photocopies. Please go get the badges, stuff like that. Thank you. Okay. Lunch is in about three hours. So if you're going to the boff, a boff is the birds of a feather session. Usually you've got a topic and you'd like to talk about it and a bunch of people all get together and talk about it. It's different from a lecture where someone stands out at the front and drones on and on and on. Instead you're all talking amongst yourselves about an interest, a common interest. So grab lunch, go to the boff, the boff are on the schedules. It's going to be snacks and coffee at 2.30, later on tonight, 6.00 p.m., there's Doc Sprints in DMS 1120, which is just over here. Hacker lounge is in the ground floor of residence. That's on the map. Everyone is welcome there. You don't have to be a coder. You don't have to be a contributor or anything like that. Just come in, bring your laptop, there's Wi-Fi, hang out. Tomorrow morning, don't show up so early. There will be food and beverages out there just like there was this morning, only it's an hour later. Oh yeah, when you're in the hacker lounge, bring your own extension court. It always helps. Leave it tidy, ground floor residence every night, Wednesday to Saturday, but you can't be there Friday morning from 6 to 8 a.m. Okay? There's another event on. Okay? Yes. Last person to leave, lock it up. If it is locked, the key is at the ground floor registration desk, lobby, hotel chicken thing. This list of buffs may be out of date, but I talked about the buffs earlier. There's one on ZFS, there's one on Haskell, there's a Metabuff, which is all about user groups. Isn't it George? Is that right, George? George? Yep. There's one on BACULA and backups, I'll be doing one on BACULA and backups, and then there's one on BSTs and privacy technologies. SGR got added later, I'm sorry. I created these slides before that. Sorry? What does SGR stand for? Software defined radio. So basically you get a radio, you plug it in, it works. It's like a USB key. We give you these lovely bags with Intel on the outside. If for some reason you can't find enough from your luggage, give them back to us. We give them to a food bank. They use it to have their clients take the food home with. The very bottom of every event in the schedule, there's this little feedback thing. It's out of date, I think. This is two years ago, but it's added. Click on that, give your feedback. Let me know how much you liked my session. Okay. Somebody's... Oh, look around. Have you lost your ticket for the party? Because someone just found a ticket for the party. Now I have three. We can auction it off. We have a hardware giveaway. Sean Webb from Hardin' BST has some hardware that he wants to give away. The way we're going to do this, who's the oldest here? Put up your hand. Who's over seven-day? Who's over six-day? How old are you, Jim? What month? You older than the 62? I guess he wins. Tell us what this hardware is. This is a Raspberry Pi 3. It includes already the SD card that you'll need with it and a serial cable, so it's completely ready to go. Main purpose for this is to get the BSTs running on the RPI 3 so we can take away some market share from Linux. So the easiest way to do this, if you can come down and get it now, please. Guys, someone will try to impersonate you later and steal it. Now the next one is youngest in the crowd, and I think I already know who that might be. Is there anyone here under 20? Who's under 20? Anyone else? Anyone under 18? Anyone under 18? Okay. You win. There's lots of ways to figure out how to use this. Who got their source commit bit in the past month? Anyone in the past month get their source commit bit in the past month? Sit down, sir. Anyone less than a month? Anyone two months ago? Anyone in the past? I think I know who wins the next one, too. Would it be Rod or Kurt? Who's been... Rod has the oldest UID. For the free BST project, yeah, but this is across all BST. Okay. For the people listening, the candidates are arguing about who's older. It says any BST. It clearly says any BST. Would you work with it, though? Would you use it? Okay. Okay. Thank you, Sean. One of the benefits of running your own conference is you get to stand up the front and talk about something that nobody wants to listen to. I'm going to talk about a clock. The reason I'm going to talk about a clock is I was listening. My girlfriend, Kathy, is an NP practitioner with a specialty in geriatrics. When you get older, one of the things that they do is to test how your memory works. One of the things they do is they get you to draw a clock, and then they get you to draw a time on that clock. I listened to a radio broadcast about a guy who had great difficulty with this. He had completely forgotten how to draw a clock. What he did is he sat down and analyzed what a clock was. He found three different levels to a clock. When you listen to these three different levels, you find out what a terrible design a clock is. It is not logical at all. For instance, the biggest hand denotes the smallest unit of time. The smallest hand denotes the largest unit of time. The middle one denotes the middle time. What's even stupider is the same values, the same numbers represent different values depending on which scale you're reading it on. This may be noon, but it's one minute afternoon, but it could also be, even explaining it is hard. This is five minutes, or it's an hour, depending on which scale you're using. If a clock was to be designed today and submitted as part of a UI, people would ridicule it and say, that's terrible. That's absolutely stupid. Why are you doing it that way? Nobody can use that. Yet everyone here, I assume, knows how to use this. Everyone considers that you look up the clock and you can tell what time it is right away, just like that. There's no thought process really involved that you can see up. It's actually not a bad design, but if you were to see it for the first time and you listen to the points I just made, you say, that's terrible. It would be flamed to crap on any user list, I'm sure. Anyway, thank you for... Yeah. Yeah, it's AM or PM, you mean? What? Correct. It was pointed out that a given clock face represents two different times a day at any point in time. Just because it seems stupid to you when you first see it, give it a little bit of time. It may actually turn out to be the best thing ever. Moving on from that, everyone was here for the first time at some time. Don't be so judgmental of people that are here for the first time. Welcome them in. Tell them what Beaver Tails are. Tell them why they should come to the closing session. Sorry. Don't push them into the sinkhole. Any questions so far? Yes, if your Type 1 diabetic Beaver Tails are not the best for you. Anyone else? Any other questions? All right. Because if there's no more questions, you go on to the talks. Do you really want to go on to the talks? No. We want to hear you. I thought so. More clocks. Question. Yes. What is this year's charity auction recipient? Good question. This year's charity auction recipient, as in most previous years, is the auto emission. If you ever walk down this street into the market, the auto emission will be on the right hand side. They get the results of this conference and the other conference I run, which is PGCon. I forget the amount they got last time. I think it was, do you remember? I can't recall. It's on Twitter somewhere. $1,500 or something. It all gets raised from the charity auction at the end, where yes, I auction off a cookie. I auctioned off at the PostgreSQL database users conference. I auctioned off a toothbrush for $100. Is it the one with the put cream on it? No. Not that one. It was a toothbrush from Japan that had the word oracle written on the toothbrush. Those of you that know databases know that oracle in PostgreSQL, one is much better than the other. Any other questions? Any other things to add? No? Yes? It was pointed out that the hands and the clock make perfect sense because you don't go by the length of the arms, you go by the width of the arms. Yeah. I don't think it would get by. I think if it was designed today, people would ridicule it. Yeah. Okay. Oh, yeah. Question? Yeah, question? Yeah, question? There's humorous anecdotes from Warner Lash at the back of the room and everybody laughed. He says he just thinks of these things. I'm sorry, Lindy. Okay, so I guess it's on to the talk, then. Have a good time. And if you have any questions, ask the registration desk, put it on Twitter or Facebook or something like that. And hashtag BSDCan. Thank you. See you soon. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
through the sponsors. We have a few points of show up so early. There will be food and