THE MADWOMAN IN THE VOLVO: MY YEAR OF RAGING HORMONES by Sandra Tsing Loh (Norton £16.99) My heart is broken, my world is dead, my home destroyed. I’m staring into the void.’ Sandra Tsing Loh, 49 years old, is in a state of near-despair: anxious, newly-divorced, putting on weight and stumbling through the ruins of a love affair she’d hoped would be her salvation. She is sobbing uncontrollably in her car about the death of her children’s hamster. She is sad, disappointed and confused. She is also, she soon discovers, in the early stages of the menopause. Loh’s midlife malaise manifests itself with bloating, weight gain and uncontrollable moods, until a diagnosis of menopause galvanises her into finding ways to navigate ‘the change’. Scroll down for video . Sandra Loh’s midlife malaise manifested itself with bloating, weight gain and uncontrollable moods, until a diagnosis of menopause galvanises her into finding ways to navigate ‘the change’ Her voyage of self-discovery is at the heart of this frank and funny memoir: she is encouraged that women such as Madonna and Oprah have helped remove the stigma associated with middle-age, and demonstrated that it can be a time of female empowerment. In non-European cultures, menopause is often regarded positively: in India, for example, it is seen as a time of growth, opening the door to enlightenment and wisdom. On this side of the world, meanwhile, the menopause is seen as profoundly unglamorous: three parts desiccation, one part fury, when a woman’s face becomes a tangle of wrinkles and lost gravity. Loh laments ‘the appearance of morning chin hairs that, by noon, are long enough to braid and twirl up into thick Princess Leia buns’. Her solution? Self-help books, wacky, new exercise regimes, a personal trainer, fanatical dieting (‘I have counted the carbs in ketchup’) and a haircut. She and her lover manage to patch things up, at first ecstatically reunited, later irritating each other to the point where he temporarily moves out. The ups and downs of their relationship provide a metaphor for what is happening inside Loh’s head and body. This candid account of Loh’s darkest hour will strike a chord with more women than would ever admit it (stock picture) After one of her two daughters — 11-year-old Hannah — is teased on Facebook, for example, Loh prepares to exact ruthless revenge on the schoolboy culprit, stationing herself outside his classroom, ready to do violence. In the book’s most moving section, Loh charts her devastating feelings as she loses her enthusiasm for being a mother. In a terrible admission, she writes that she feels she no longer loves her daughters, that she has nothing left to offer, as she sinks into an emotional paralysis. ‘I feel they will immediately read from my dull eyes what I can no longer hide: that I don’t love them, never will again. That’s the horrible secret at the core of this, the devil’s sibilant whisper.’ Happily, her two daughters rise to the occasion, making cards and a sumptuous breakfast, proffering hugs and understanding, until, slowly, Loh emerges back into the warm, familiar joy of motherhood. This candid account of Loh’s darkest hour will strike a chord with more women than would ever admit it. She can be hilarious, such as with her conclusion that no single husband can ever really suffice: ‘Your first husband is the provider; your second husband is the one who talks to you; my third husband will be a cat. If I am lucky.’ Everything changes when she consults a doctor who prescribes hormone replacement therapy. A dab of topical oestrogen cream on her wrists and, suddenly, her world changes. Two key truths emerge from this book. The first is that women today live longer and have their children later. ‘They have adjusted the timetable for childbearing, so that menopause and teaching a teenager how to drive a car will occur in the same week.’ The second is that the menopause is traditionally seen as a disease of deficiency — rather than a wholly natural event. But Loh suggests that, when women are no longer buoyed by oestrogen — the hormone that makes them ‘want to help people and serve people and cut up their sandwiches into ever-tinier squares’ — they are free to play a wider role in the world.
Sandra, 49, suffered bloating, weight gain and uncontrollable moods .
Diagnosing the menopause led her to find ways to deal with ‘the change’
This account of Loh’s darkest hour will strike a chord with many women .
THE MADWOMAN IN THE VOLVO: MY YEAR OF RAGING HORMONES by Sandra Tsing Loh (Norton £16.99) My heart is broken, my world is dead, my home destroyed. I’m staring into the void.’ Sandra Tsing Loh, 49 years old, is in a state of near-despair: anxious, newly-divorced, putting on weight and stumbling through the ruins of a love affair she’d hoped would be her salvation. She is sobbing uncontrollably in her car about the death of her children’s hamster. She is sad, disappointed and confused. She is also, she soon discovers, in the early stages of the menopause. Loh’s midlife malaise manifests itself with bloating, weight gain and uncontrollable moods, until a diagnosis of menopause galvanises her into finding ways to navigate ‘the change’. Scroll down for video . Sandra Loh’s midlife malaise manifested itself with bloating, weight gain and uncontrollable moods, until a diagnosis of menopause galvanises her into finding ways to navigate ‘the change’ Her voyage of self-discovery is at the heart of this frank and funny memoir: she is encouraged that women such as Madonna and Oprah have helped remove the stigma associated with middle-age, and demonstrated that it can be a time of female empowerment. In non-European cultures, menopause is often regarded positively: in India, for example, it is seen as a time of growth, opening the door to enlightenment and wisdom. On this side of the world, meanwhile, the menopause is seen as profoundly unglamorous: three parts desiccation, one part fury, when a woman’s face becomes a tangle of wrinkles and lost gravity. Loh laments ‘the appearance of morning chin hairs that, by noon, are long enough to braid and twirl up into thick Princess Leia buns’. Her solution? Self-help books, wacky, new exercise regimes, a personal trainer, fanatical dieting (‘I have counted the carbs in ketchup’) and a haircut. She and her lover manage to patch things up, at first ecstatically reunited, later irritating each other to the point where he temporarily moves out. The ups and downs of their relationship provide a metaphor for what is happening inside Loh’s head and body. This candid account of Loh’s darkest hour will strike a chord with more women than would ever admit it (stock picture) After one of her two daughters — 11-year-old Hannah — is teased on Facebook, for example, Loh prepares to exact ruthless revenge on the schoolboy culprit, stationing herself outside his classroom, ready to do violence. In the book’s most moving section, Loh charts her devastating feelings as she loses her enthusiasm for being a mother. In a terrible admission, she writes that she feels she no longer loves her daughters, that she has nothing left to offer, as she sinks into an emotional paralysis. ‘I feel they will immediately read from my dull eyes what I can no longer hide: that I don’t love them, never will again. That’s the horrible secret at the core of this, the devil’s sibilant whisper.’ Happily, her two daughters rise to the occasion, making cards and a sumptuous breakfast, proffering hugs and understanding, until, slowly, Loh emerges back into the warm, familiar joy of motherhood. This candid account of Loh’s darkest hour will strike a chord with more women than would ever admit it. She can be hilarious, such as with her conclusion that no single husband can ever really suffice: ‘Your first husband is the provider; your second husband is the one who talks to you; my third husband will be a cat. If I am lucky.’ Everything changes when she consults a doctor who prescribes hormone replacement therapy. A dab of topical oestrogen cream on her wrists and, suddenly, her world changes. Two key truths emerge from this book. The first is that women today live longer and have their children later. ‘They have adjusted the timetable for childbearing, so that menopause and teaching a teenager how to drive a car will occur in the same week.’ The second is that the menopause is traditionally seen as a disease of deficiency — rather than a wholly natural event. But Loh suggests that, when women are no longer buoyed by oestrogen — the hormone that makes them ‘want to help people and serve people and cut up their sandwiches into ever-tinier squares’ — they are free to play a wider role in the world.
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