British mum Rachel Rounds caused quite a stir by announcing the reason her husband still fancied her is because he didn't attend the birth of their child. As someone who specialises in advising people on sex and relationships, I am obviously going to champion the benefits of sex. But I'm also fully aware there are times when sex - very necessarily - gets put on the backburner and takes not just second, but last place on the priority list. Scroll down for video . Tracey says that when it comes to labour, women need their partners support more than ever and it is cowardly for partners to opt out of going to the birth of their child . If you're grieving the loss of a parent, stressed to death at work, sick or surviving on one hour's sleep a week with a screaming baby, who the hell even thinks about having sex, let alone makes the effort? I'd also suggest that when your partner is writhing in agony giving birth, bargaining with Satan to sell her soul in return for just one minute's break from the pain of pushing a watermelon-sized object through a space the size of an orange, this is also not a time when thinking about your sex life is foremost in your mind. Most women are terrified giving birth. Not just a little bit nervous but paralysed with fear. Isn't this the one time when it really should be all about you? Tracey says that men aren't the only ones who have to move past the gory aftermath of childbirth . Imagine this scenario: You're being wheeled into the labour ward, petrified, and your partner - the person who is supposed to love and support you though sickness and health and surely through giving bloody birth - hangs back and says, 'Um, honey. Actually, do you mind if I sit this one out? I know you're about to experience the worst pain imaginable but it might put me off having sex the next time we have it'. Would you look him in the eyes, take his hand and say, 'Of course I understand. Come back when the baby's been washed and powdered and I've got my make-up on and in a sexy nightie.' Or would you use your last minute of cohesive thought to call a divorce lawyer and invite them into the delivery room so you can sign the papers in between pushing out the baby? Call me callous but think I'd be going for option two. Tracey says that when it comes to the birth of your child, sex should be the last thing on your mind . Of course it's going to be traumatic for men when her ladybits - usually a source of pleasure - suddenly transform into something that causes pain and are, indisputably, not at their most attractive. Get over it. Men aren't the only ones who have to move past the gory mess that is childbirth and go back to thinking of the vagina as somewhere that nice things happen. Women have to deal with it, too. Women also have to deal with rather a lot of other things to do with pregnancy and birth in order to feel like sex again. Shifting the baby weight and trying to feel sexy three sizes larger than they were, coming to grips with stretch marks and a body that's shifted and changed after lugging around a baby for months aren't exactly easy to move past. Neither is trying to find the motivation to have sex after having had one hour's sleep a week for the last four months. I get the argument for men not watching the birth. I've read the letters I get from men saying there are ramifications and it does take a while for those images to disappear and for him to reconcile what's happened before enjoying sex again. But, seriously, surely it's not too much to ask that men are grown up enough to be able to rationalise that the vagina has two functions: one for pleasure and one to deliver babies? After all, you pee out of your penis and also have sex with that. There appears to be no problem with mentally compartmentalising there. Why can't you do the same with her vagina? I'm not unsympathetic to men in relation to their experience of pregnancy, birth and parenting. I know lots of men feel sidelined by it all and like someone stole their wife after the baby is born. Men have told me it feels like they're replaced and that they suddenly lost their best friend, partner and sex partner and in her place was a woman who seems there purely to service the child. But she's been the one to have to put up with periods, pregnancy and birth and will shoulder the lion's share of the parenting. Surely it's not too much to ask for you to be able to cope with a little blood and messiness, to be by her side when she most needs you? Check out Tracey's books and product ranges at traceycox.com .
Earlier this week Daily Mail writer Rachel Rounds said the reason her sex life was still in tact was because her partner hadn't seen her give birth .
Tracey Cox is not impressed and says sex is not important at this point .
Alongside grief and poor health, post pregnancy should be a no sex zone .
British mum Rachel Rounds caused quite a stir by announcing the reason her husband still fancied her is because he didn't attend the birth of their child. As someone who specialises in advising people on sex and relationships, I am obviously going to champion the benefits of sex. But I'm also fully aware there are times when sex - very necessarily - gets put on the backburner and takes not just second, but last place on the priority list. Scroll down for video . Tracey says that when it comes to labour, women need their partners support more than ever and it is cowardly for partners to opt out of going to the birth of their child . If you're grieving the loss of a parent, stressed to death at work, sick or surviving on one hour's sleep a week with a screaming baby, who the hell even thinks about having sex, let alone makes the effort? I'd also suggest that when your partner is writhing in agony giving birth, bargaining with Satan to sell her soul in return for just one minute's break from the pain of pushing a watermelon-sized object through a space the size of an orange, this is also not a time when thinking about your sex life is foremost in your mind. Most women are terrified giving birth. Not just a little bit nervous but paralysed with fear. Isn't this the one time when it really should be all about you? Tracey says that men aren't the only ones who have to move past the gory aftermath of childbirth . Imagine this scenario: You're being wheeled into the labour ward, petrified, and your partner - the person who is supposed to love and support you though sickness and health and surely through giving bloody birth - hangs back and says, 'Um, honey. Actually, do you mind if I sit this one out? I know you're about to experience the worst pain imaginable but it might put me off having sex the next time we have it'. Would you look him in the eyes, take his hand and say, 'Of course I understand. Come back when the baby's been washed and powdered and I've got my make-up on and in a sexy nightie.' Or would you use your last minute of cohesive thought to call a divorce lawyer and invite them into the delivery room so you can sign the papers in between pushing out the baby? Call me callous but think I'd be going for option two. Tracey says that when it comes to the birth of your child, sex should be the last thing on your mind . Of course it's going to be traumatic for men when her ladybits - usually a source of pleasure - suddenly transform into something that causes pain and are, indisputably, not at their most attractive. Get over it. Men aren't the only ones who have to move past the gory mess that is childbirth and go back to thinking of the vagina as somewhere that nice things happen. Women have to deal with it, too. Women also have to deal with rather a lot of other things to do with pregnancy and birth in order to feel like sex again. Shifting the baby weight and trying to feel sexy three sizes larger than they were, coming to grips with stretch marks and a body that's shifted and changed after lugging around a baby for months aren't exactly easy to move past. Neither is trying to find the motivation to have sex after having had one hour's sleep a week for the last four months. I get the argument for men not watching the birth. I've read the letters I get from men saying there are ramifications and it does take a while for those images to disappear and for him to reconcile what's happened before enjoying sex again. But, seriously, surely it's not too much to ask that men are grown up enough to be able to rationalise that the vagina has two functions: one for pleasure and one to deliver babies? After all, you pee out of your penis and also have sex with that. There appears to be no problem with mentally compartmentalising there. Why can't you do the same with her vagina? I'm not unsympathetic to men in relation to their experience of pregnancy, birth and parenting. I know lots of men feel sidelined by it all and like someone stole their wife after the baby is born. Men have told me it feels like they're replaced and that they suddenly lost their best friend, partner and sex partner and in her place was a woman who seems there purely to service the child. But she's been the one to have to put up with periods, pregnancy and birth and will shoulder the lion's share of the parenting. Surely it's not too much to ask for you to be able to cope with a little blood and messiness, to be by her side when she most needs you? Check out Tracey's books and product ranges at traceycox.com .
British mum Rachel Rounds caused quite a stir by announcing the reason her husband still fancied this is also not a time when thinking about your sex life is foremost in your mind. Most women are Tracey says that men aren't the only ones who the birth of your child, sex should be the last friend, partner and sex partner and in her place