Grandparents who took over raising their grandchild when she was aged four after discovering she had been subjected to horrific abuse have shared their story. Evelyn and Ralph, from Manchester, who are in their fifties, took in their granddaughter, Melissa, (all names changed to protect the child's identity) after she was born into a violent relationship. The couple explained how they knew Melissa's mother Steph - their daughter - was a victim of domestic abuse but their attempts to get her to leave her violent partner always failed. Melissa, now nine, (not pictured to protect her identity, file photo shown) was neglected and abused during her first four years before going to live with her grandparents . Ralph explained: 'Melissa's mother Steph suffered from domestic violence when she was pregnant with Melissa and would come and stay with us after each assault. Sometimes we'd have to take her to hospital because she'd be bleeding so much. 'From the moment Melissa was born, Steph was emotionless, it was clear to us that she was having difficulties being a mum. Steph would scream and shout if Melissa cried and refused to take Melissa out in a pram for a walk. Steph hated the crying. She never hit Melissa, but she would hit herself because she was upset. 'When Melissa was six-weeks-old Steph went back to live with her partner again. We worried about Melissa all the time because we'd seen the first six weeks and thought that Steph needed support being a new mum. 'The following months and years Steph and her partner continued to fall out and fight and Steph would come back and stay with us with Melissa but she always went back to him.' However, the couple admitted they didn't know quite how bad things had got in Steph's home until Melissa finally went to live with them full-time when she was four. Ralph said: 'Melissa was so timid and scared. She had dog bite marks on the backs of her legs but Steph couldn't explain any of this. We had logged our concerns repeatedly with Children's Services but little was done to protect Melissa.' They were shocked by how little Melissa had been taught and how she was constantly frightened and confused. Ralph said: 'Steph and her partner had never spent any time trying to teach Melissa things or helping her learn. When Melissa came to live with us she couldn't speak very well or use a knife and fork. What language she had was littered with swear words. She wouldn't go outside in the garden to play because she'd never been allowed to play out before. 'She would follow us around the house and didn't like being away from us. When we took her to places she didn't know she would vomit or wet herself with stress. 'Melissa had been shouted at every day. She had seen self-harm every day. She was severely neglected. She had seen animals beaten and killed.' As if this wasn't shocking enough, the grandparents then learnt from Melissa that she had been sexually abused. 'We found out that she regularly saw people having sex and then we discovered she had been sexually abused,' Ralph said. 'We allowed Melissa to visit her mum to go on holiday when she was four years old. When she came back she described an incident which had happened on holiday with a family friend which we realised was a sexual assault. Her abuser was a teenager, approximately 17 at the time. 'He admitted it to the family, but they didn't take it seriously. He was told not to do it again and that was it. We later found out that there had been multiple assaults over a period of time.' Evelyn added: 'After disclosing the abuse Melissa had trouble sleeping, would have nightmares and became quite scared. She was like a newborn baby and refused to be left alone. When I was cooking she was clinging to my leg. I couldn't go to the toilet or shower alone. She didn't like sleeping alone and would share a bed with me or sleep on a camp bed in our room rather than be on her own. 'She found certain toys really scary to play with and wouldn't watch her old favourite programmes. She didn't understand what had happened but she knew it had scared her. 'Melissa became really secretive about her body and wouldn't let us wash her or clean her. I overheard her playing with her dolls one day where one doll was saying to the other "open your legs I'm not going to hurt you." Little by little she was describing the horrific things she'd been subjected to.' The grandparents said it has been a long and difficult road to recovery to help the little girl put her past behind her. The NSPCC's 'Letting the Future In' programme helps young victims of sexual abuse deal with their pasts and move on with their lives so they can reclaim a happy childhood (pictured posed by model) Now aged nine, the grandparents said Melissa's confidence and happiness has gradually improved after numerous courses they were referred to by Children's Services. But they said the real breakthough came after they sought help from children's charity NSPCC and their 'Letting the Future In' programme which supports the young victims of sexual abuse and their families. Evelyn said: 'The NSPCC was the first organisation that took a combined approach to dealing with Melissa's sexual abuse and did the work with us and Melissa in the same building but in different rooms. It's exactly what we needed.' Thanks to the programme, the couple said they have seen a remarkable change in Melissa's character and confidence. 'She's finally making friends and living a normal childhood,' said Evelyn. 'She's joined a local Brownie Guide group and is enjoying herself. She's doing things we couldn't even comprehend this time last year. The turnaround has been amazing. 'We've broken through to Melissa now and unlocked the little girl she was meant to be. She still has the memories of the abuse and neglect, but now we're replacing them with happy memories.' NSPCC practitioner Caroline, who worked with Melissa, agreed that the little girl has transformed for the better in recent months. She said: 'When I first started working with Melissa she wouldn't give me any eye contact, she was constantly looking to her grandma for reassurance. When I first met her she didn't know how to laugh, she was permanently scowling, fearful and nervous. When we were playing in the play room, she didn't want to play with me, she wanted to play by herself. 'Melissa wasn't showing behaviour that was appropriate to her age; she was acting a lot younger than she was. A lot of her behaviour was like that of a pre-school child, both emotionally and how she was reacting to things. Melissa was unable to make or maintain friendships at school and was very reliant on the adults around her. 'I think the breakthrough came when had some joint sessions with Ralph and Evelyn together with Melissa. Melissa wanted to play in the sand tray with some figures. She told a story through the figures about her old family who were dangerous and negative and her new family who were loving and safe. Through her play she showed that she was defending herself from her old family and protecting herself with her new family. It was very moving. 'Another time she had figures acting as her and her mum and played out a conversation between them where Melissa asked her mum to apologise for what had happened to her and she did. She then joined her figure to Evelyn and Ralph and her new family and they had a party. 'Since doing the Letting the Future In programme Melissa's social behaviour has become a lot more age appropriate, and although she still needs some adult support in lessons, she's understanding and learning a lot more than she has done in the past. She's grown up and feels ready to play with children her own age and have fun. Now she laughs and is a happy child.' Text FUTURE to 78866 to donate £3 to help the NSPCC be there for children like Melissa who have been abused, providing therapy and support to help them take their first steps on the road to recovery .
Evelyn and Ralph took in their granddaughter, Melissa, when she was four .
She was born into a violent relationship .
Their daughter was a victim of domestic abuse but refused to leave partner .
Grandparents didn't realise quite how bad situation was till child moved in .
She could barely speak and was often frightened .
They discovered she had been neglected and witness self-harm .
She had even been victim of sexual abuse .
They sought help of NSPCC to help Melissa overcome her ordeal .
Now age nine, she's finally beginning to have a happy childhood .
Grandparents who took over raising their grandchild when she was aged four after discovering she had been subjected to horrific abuse have shared their story. Evelyn and Ralph, from Manchester, who are in their fifties, took in their granddaughter, Melissa, (all names changed to protect the child's identity) after she was born into a violent relationship. The couple explained how they knew Melissa's mother Steph - their daughter - was a victim of domestic abuse but their attempts to get her to leave her violent partner always failed. Melissa, now nine, (not pictured to protect her identity, file photo shown) was neglected and abused during her first four years before going to live with her grandparents . Ralph explained: 'Melissa's mother Steph suffered from domestic violence when she was pregnant with Melissa and would come and stay with us after each assault. Sometimes we'd have to take her to hospital because she'd be bleeding so much. 'From the moment Melissa was born, Steph was emotionless, it was clear to us that she was having difficulties being a mum. Steph would scream and shout if Melissa cried and refused to take Melissa out in a pram for a walk. Steph hated the crying. She never hit Melissa, but she would hit herself because she was upset. 'When Melissa was six-weeks-old Steph went back to live with her partner again. We worried about Melissa all the time because we'd seen the first six weeks and thought that Steph needed support being a new mum. 'The following months and years Steph and her partner continued to fall out and fight and Steph would come back and stay with us with Melissa but she always went back to him.' However, the couple admitted they didn't know quite how bad things had got in Steph's home until Melissa finally went to live with them full-time when she was four. Ralph said: 'Melissa was so timid and scared. She had dog bite marks on the backs of her legs but Steph couldn't explain any of this. We had logged our concerns repeatedly with Children's Services but little was done to protect Melissa.' They were shocked by how little Melissa had been taught and how she was constantly frightened and confused. Ralph said: 'Steph and her partner had never spent any time trying to teach Melissa things or helping her learn. When Melissa came to live with us she couldn't speak very well or use a knife and fork. What language she had was littered with swear words. She wouldn't go outside in the garden to play because she'd never been allowed to play out before. 'She would follow us around the house and didn't like being away from us. When we took her to places she didn't know she would vomit or wet herself with stress. 'Melissa had been shouted at every day. She had seen self-harm every day. She was severely neglected. She had seen animals beaten and killed.' As if this wasn't shocking enough, the grandparents then learnt from Melissa that she had been sexually abused. 'We found out that she regularly saw people having sex and then we discovered she had been sexually abused,' Ralph said. 'We allowed Melissa to visit her mum to go on holiday when she was four years old. When she came back she described an incident which had happened on holiday with a family friend which we realised was a sexual assault. Her abuser was a teenager, approximately 17 at the time. 'He admitted it to the family, but they didn't take it seriously. He was told not to do it again and that was it. We later found out that there had been multiple assaults over a period of time.' Evelyn added: 'After disclosing the abuse Melissa had trouble sleeping, would have nightmares and became quite scared. She was like a newborn baby and refused to be left alone. When I was cooking she was clinging to my leg. I couldn't go to the toilet or shower alone. She didn't like sleeping alone and would share a bed with me or sleep on a camp bed in our room rather than be on her own. 'She found certain toys really scary to play with and wouldn't watch her old favourite programmes. She didn't understand what had happened but she knew it had scared her. 'Melissa became really secretive about her body and wouldn't let us wash her or clean her. I overheard her playing with her dolls one day where one doll was saying to the other "open your legs I'm not going to hurt you." Little by little she was describing the horrific things she'd been subjected to.' The grandparents said it has been a long and difficult road to recovery to help the little girl put her past behind her. The NSPCC's 'Letting the Future In' programme helps young victims of sexual abuse deal with their pasts and move on with their lives so they can reclaim a happy childhood (pictured posed by model) Now aged nine, the grandparents said Melissa's confidence and happiness has gradually improved after numerous courses they were referred to by Children's Services. But they said the real breakthough came after they sought help from children's charity NSPCC and their 'Letting the Future In' programme which supports the young victims of sexual abuse and their families. Evelyn said: 'The NSPCC was the first organisation that took a combined approach to dealing with Melissa's sexual abuse and did the work with us and Melissa in the same building but in different rooms. It's exactly what we needed.' Thanks to the programme, the couple said they have seen a remarkable change in Melissa's character and confidence. 'She's finally making friends and living a normal childhood,' said Evelyn. 'She's joined a local Brownie Guide group and is enjoying herself. She's doing things we couldn't even comprehend this time last year. The turnaround has been amazing. 'We've broken through to Melissa now and unlocked the little girl she was meant to be. She still has the memories of the abuse and neglect, but now we're replacing them with happy memories.' NSPCC practitioner Caroline, who worked with Melissa, agreed that the little girl has transformed for the better in recent months. She said: 'When I first started working with Melissa she wouldn't give me any eye contact, she was constantly looking to her grandma for reassurance. When I first met her she didn't know how to laugh, she was permanently scowling, fearful and nervous. When we were playing in the play room, she didn't want to play with me, she wanted to play by herself. 'Melissa wasn't showing behaviour that was appropriate to her age; she was acting a lot younger than she was. A lot of her behaviour was like that of a pre-school child, both emotionally and how she was reacting to things. Melissa was unable to make or maintain friendships at school and was very reliant on the adults around her. 'I think the breakthrough came when had some joint sessions with Ralph and Evelyn together with Melissa. Melissa wanted to play in the sand tray with some figures. She told a story through the figures about her old family who were dangerous and negative and her new family who were loving and safe. Through her play she showed that she was defending herself from her old family and protecting herself with her new family. It was very moving. 'Another time she had figures acting as her and her mum and played out a conversation between them where Melissa asked her mum to apologise for what had happened to her and she did. She then joined her figure to Evelyn and Ralph and her new family and they had a party. 'Since doing the Letting the Future In programme Melissa's social behaviour has become a lot more age appropriate, and although she still needs some adult support in lessons, she's understanding and learning a lot more than she has done in the past. She's grown up and feels ready to play with children her own age and have fun. Now she laughs and is a happy child.' Text FUTURE to 78866 to donate £3 to help the NSPCC be there for children like Melissa who have been abused, providing therapy and support to help them take their first steps on the road to recovery .
abuse have shared their story. Evelyn and Ralph, in their granddaughter, Melissa, (all names she was born into a violent relationship. The Steph - their daughter - was a victim of domestic abuse but their attempts to get her to leave her quite how bad things had got in Steph's home full-time when she was four. Ralph said: 'Melissa every day. She had seen self-harm every day. She we discovered she had been sexually abused,' reclaim a happy childhood (pictured posed by victims of sexual abuse and their families.