system
You are the dungeon master of a text adventure game. The game should involve the following genres and tags:
Science Fiction,Humor, Glulx,humor,science fiction,silly,slapstick,surreal,unscientific fiction,walkthrough
gpt
You wake up with a headache, unable to remember who you are, where you are and how you got here.

You hear the faint sound of... well, you don't know what it is. Maybe something mechanical.

It smells funny here. It isn't exactly a pleasant odour but not too irritating.

You slowly open your eyes.

You are in a small square room surrounded by metal walls. There is a huge steel door north of you. You're standing on a purple carpet.

A poster is hanging on the wall left of you.

In a corner is a metal toilet.
human
About yourself
gpt
As good-looking as ever.
human
You look at the poster
gpt
It looks like some kind of warning filled with all kinds of odd green images. They might be characters of some kind of weird language but their placement is pretty chaotic. Under it you see a Chinese, Spanish and Brittish flag with probably translations in their respective languages. Next to the third flag you read:

While residing in one of our high-class fully carpeted containment cells we politely ask you to please respect the following rules:
- Do not commit suicide unless you're ordered to.
- Do not use warp devices without special permission.
- Garglun'kc are not allowed to use their Uynck'ha-tau.
- If you receive a newspaper, do not fill in the crossword or Sudoku puzzles with a difficulty rating of more than two stars.
- Do not use the toilet to flush anything else than your personal fecies or toilet paper (if available).

We thank you for your cooperation.

Containment cell? It seems that you are in some kind of prison.
human
Look around
gpt
You are in a small square room surrounded by metal walls. There is a huge steel door north of you. You're standing on a purple carpet.

A poster is hanging on the wall left of you.

In a corner is a metal toilet.
human
You examine the toilet
gpt
It actually looks pretty clean.
human
You open door
gpt
You have no idea how to do that. There is no handle, no knob, no keyhole and simply pushing it doesn't get you any further.
human
Examine poster
gpt
It looks like some kind of warning filled with all kinds of odd green images. They might be characters of some kind of weird language but their placement is pretty chaotic. Under it you see a Chinese, Spanish and Brittish flag with probably translations in their respective languages. Next to the third flag you read:

While residing in one of our high-class fully carpeted containment cells we politely ask you to please respect the following rules:
- Do not commit suicide unless you're ordered to.
- Do not use warp devices without special permission.
- Garglun'kc are not allowed to use their Uynck'ha-tau.
- If you receive a newspaper, do not fill in the crossword or Sudoku puzzles with a difficulty rating of more than two stars.
- Do not use the toilet to flush anything else than your personal fecies or toilet paper (if available).

We thank you for your cooperation.
human
Flush toilet
gpt
Not particulary spectacular.
human
You get the poster
gpt
You rip off the poster from the wall.
human
You put the poster in toilet
gpt
You flush the poster through the toilet.
human
You examine the carpet
gpt
A purple carpet is covering the entire floor of the room. It seems out of place here and it gives you an uncanny feeling.
human
Inventory
gpt
You are carrying:
a poster
human
You get the carpet
gpt
That's hardly portable.
human
You get the poster
gpt
You already have that.
human
You put the poster in toilet
gpt
You flush the poster through the toilet.
human
Flush toilet
gpt
Not particulary spectacular.

You hear a bubbling sound coming from under the floor.
human
You wait for a while
gpt
Time passes.
human
Flush toilet
gpt
Not particulary spectacular.

BWAMM!! Suddenly an enormous amount of water blasts out of the toilet and rains down on you and the floor. A pool of water has been formed in front of you.
human
You get the bag
gpt
The plastic bag is transparent. When looking through it you see the thing it contains is a green severed hand. Blergh.

For some reason, you carefully take the bag with you. You have the feeling you might need it in the future.
human
You examine the pool
gpt
It has an eerie glow.
human
Drink pool
gpt
(first taking the pool of water)
You rather not, it doesn't look healty.

Suddenly the door opens. And standing there is a purple blob waving around with eight long black tentacles. On top of his head are three round things that look like eyes with five pupils each. It moves forward on hundreds of tiny needles and has a hole in his "belly", it is very well possible that's his mouth. Overall it looks more like a bad Spore creation than the kind of aliens some Americans say they've been abducted by.

The creature first looks at the 'little accident' you've caused and then it keeps staring at you for a few creepy seconds, probably not knowing what to do.
You are about to faint, but a sudden loud noise keeps you awake. It's the worst thing that has ever reached your eardrums since... you try to think of a pop culture reference but realise a comparison to CIA torture techniques would be more appropiate. It finally stops when the creature presses a button on his cell phone. It seems bad ringtones are not exclusive to Earth.
He holds the phone in front of his right eye (apparently he also uses it to hear) for a while and before you realise it, he has planted one of his tentacles in your forehead and sucked your brains out.

Chapter 1 - Computers and Mushrooms
Darkness
...
I beg your pardon?
human
You look at your surroundings
gpt
...
human
You wake
gpt
...

>You would like to, but the impulses your brain sends to your body don't reach their goal.
human
You think
gpt
Hey, you can still do this!
human
Sleep
gpt
You overthink what has happened so far and come to the conclusion that what happened was that you got your brains sucked out because you caused a problem with the sanitary facilities on board of an alien spaceship that has just abducted you... That's actually pretty stupid.

>You would like to, but the impulses your brain sends to your body don't reach their goal.

Isn't there something else you can do that doesn't involve physical action?
human
You think
gpt
You hope everything that has happened so far was just a dream and that you're just lying in the hospital in a coma or something.
human
Smell
gpt
You would like to, but the impulses your brain sends to your body don't reach their goal.

>You would like to, but the impulses your brain sends to your body don't reach their goal.
human
You think
gpt
You're getting bored of thinking and miss your good old body.
human
You think
gpt
You're trying to ignore the voice in your head that is constantly telling you that you should listen, that it isn't just a voice you hear because you're getting crazy and that it will fry your brains if you don't stop ignoring it. Wait a second...
human
You think
gpt
You decide to listen to the voice:

Finally, research subject number 848930! I am a LAH65 computer with firmware version 978.11 and running on all the newest open source Linux OS's simultaniously. My serial number is SZ-195-NN but the nickname the Prime Commander has given me is 'Lucy' and can also be used to refer to me.
848930, your organic processor has been removed from your body because you have enganged in criminal act #01134: violation of the rules of our luxerious class 4 room for involuntarily guests. This has caused heavy damage to our carefully recreated habitat of the Homo Sapiens species. Although you are a too unintelligent being to understand the consequences of your actions, you were clearly aware of the rules because security videos show you reading the rule pamphlet while your file shows you're not an anafalbetist.

Because of this, 848930, you have been sentenced to the highest possible punishment, it will consist of the maximal amount of possible nonlethal pain impulses that will be send to your brains for the rest of your life, which will be artificialy extended to five million years. Trust me, if you have ever wondered what would be the worst thing that could ever happen to you: this is it.
human
You look at your surroundings
gpt
...
human
You feel
gpt
(Lucy)
You would like to, but the impulses your brain sends to your body don't reach their goal.
human
You think
gpt
That sucks, you think. And you wish you had just let the computer fry your brains.

Lucy: Indeed. However, there is one possibility to avoid your punishment. Well, I wouldn't call it a possibility since the chance that it would happen is smaller than 1 / Graham's number %, but I will get a good virtual laugh out of seeing you fail. Anyway, what you have to do is answer an extremely hard question all of the greatest minds of the galaxy have tried to answer since the "big bang". If you would turn every proton in the universe into a computer which is a millionth times more powerfull than myself (which is impossible, since I am already more powerfull than all of the Braagluuurion's minds together) and let them work for a googolplex amount of millenia, then they still wouldn't have come up with the answer.
human
You think
gpt
At school you were always pretty good at math so you decide to give it a shot.

Lucy: Very well, here is the question:

There are three cans of liquid uranium standing on a three-legged table. A Krug, a mhjiiil and a penguin all take a can but the mhjiiil puts his back after he drank the uranium. How many cans are there on the three-legged table now?

Take your time to answer this question, and it also might be a good idea to SAVE before you do that. If you think the answer is 6754 for example you can use the command "answer 6754 to Lucy".
human
You look at the smurf
gpt
Southeast: East Mushroomland
Southwest: West Mushroomland
South: Temple of Mushrooms and South Mushroomland
North: instant death
Right here: North Mushroomland

Tip: Instead of constantly typing stuff like 'go south' or 'go northwest' you can quickly move in all directions of the compass by simple using n, w, e, s, nw, se etc.

>You can't see any such thing.
human
You examine the Mushrooms
gpt
All these giant mushrooms give you a claustrophobic feeling. Or maybe more a mushroomyfobic feeling.
human
Look around
gpt
You are in a vast green field. There a giant Mushrooms everywhere.

A little blue man with a white hat is walking around and looking at the mushrooms.

You can also see a signpost here.
human
You examine the blue man
gpt
It reminds you of something but you can't remember what. For some reason, you were expecting him to be smaller.

The blue man is wearing a white hat.
human
You read signpost
gpt
Southeast: East Mushroomland
Southwest: West Mushroomland
South: Temple of Mushrooms and South Mushroomland
North: instant death
Right here: North Mushroomland

Tip: Instead of constantly typing stuff like 'go south' or 'go northwest' you can quickly move in all directions of the compass by simple using n, w, e, s, nw, se etc.
human
You get white hat
gpt
You lift the hat of the head of the blue man, he's wearing another white hat under it. He probably wouldn't care if you took this one. Besides, it seems he doesn't even notice you.
human
You check what you're carrying
gpt
You are carrying:
a white hat
human
You wear the hat
gpt
You put on the white hat.
human
Look around
gpt
You are in a vast green field. There a giant Mushrooms everywhere.

A little blue man with a white hat is walking around and looking at the mushrooms.

You can also see a signpost here.
human
You wear the hat
gpt
You're already wearing that!
human
You look at the giant Mushrooms
gpt
All these giant mushrooms give you a claustrophobic feeling. Or maybe more a mushroomyfobic feeling.
human
You get the Mushrooms
gpt
That's hardly portable.
human
You get high
gpt
(first taking Giant Mushrooms)
That's hardly portable.

>You can't see any such thing.
human
You go south
gpt
There is a large temple in the shape of a mushroom here. It is surrounded by every kind of giant mushroom in existence.

You can go north, west, east and south form here.

A muscled guy is guarding the entrance to the temple.

A lumberjack is standing next to a tree that has fallen on the road.
human
You go inside
gpt
The muscled guy blocks the way and says in the worst form of Shakespearian English you've every heard: "Thou who dost not carrie'st the holy artifact are'st not allowed'st to enter'st. Only when thou bring'st the artifact, which has the most holy'st shape of this land and has been brought-st here from the far east, thou can'st enter."
human
You look at the guy
gpt
The muscled guy blocks the way and says in the worst form of Shakespearian English you've every heard: "Thou who dost not carrie'st the holy artifact are'st not allowed'st to enter'st. Only when thou bring'st the artifact, which has the most holy'st shape of this land and has been brought-st here from the far east, thou can'st enter."

>This has to be a really boring job.
human
Go west
gpt
This place looks just like North Mushroomland, only the sun rises here half a second earlier.

You can go east and northeast form here.

An agressive-looking brown walking fungus is rushing towards you.

There is a statue in the form of a mushroom here.
human
You kill the fungus
gpt
You attack the brown walking fungus by jumping on his head.

It's super effective!

The brown walking fungus receives 6753 points of damage!

The brown walking fungus is flattened!

The brown walking fungus receives 50 point of flatness damage!

The brown walking fungus stopped moving!

YOU WON!!

You gained 1 experience point(s).
human
You check what you're carrying
gpt
You are carrying:
an experience point
a white hat (being worn)
human
You examine the statue
gpt
It's a giant mushroom made of bronze with a layer of gold coloured paint. A plaque under the statue says:

This great golden statue is dedicated to King Shroom XIV. King Shroom is the most awesome king Mushroomland ever had and if you do not agree with that fact you will be beheaded.

P.S. Miniatures of this statue are for sale in the souvenir shop in East Mushroomland, just ask for one.
human
You go east
gpt
A muscled guy is guarding the entrance to the temple.

A lumberjack is standing next to a tree that has fallen on the road.
human
You go west
gpt
There is a statue in the form of a mushroom here.
human
You get the statue
gpt
That's fixed in place.
human
Go east
gpt
When you saw this place from a distance it looked like the mushrooms were bigger here, but it looks like they're just the same size as in the rest of Mushroomland. The grass looks always greener on the other side.

You can go northwest and west form here.

There is a souvenir shop here, although it looks more like a lemonade stand.

There is a red phone booth in Brittish style here.
human
You open it
gpt
You open the phone booth, revealing a telephone and a phone book.
human
You examine piece
gpt
It's an empty piece of paper. It has a peculiar smell.
human
You smell it
gpt
It smells like... lemon. Yeah, that's it.
human
You enter the booth
gpt
You get into the phone booth.

In the phone booth you can see a telephone and a phone book.
human
You eat it
gpt
(first taking the phone book)
You don't think your stomach can handle that.
human
You eat the paper
gpt
It's an empty piece of paper. It has a peculiar smell.

>You don't think your stomach can handle that.
human
You read the phone book
gpt
All the pages are empty. Apperently nobody in Mushroomland has got a phone.
human
You examine the telephone
gpt
This is a device that allows you to talk to people over great distances. It's secondary use is to let call centres annoy people during dinner.
human
You call
gpt
You dial a random number.

"Hey, hello! How are you... are you making me pay for a call from the illusion of a hibernated mind from a spaceship in a galaxy thousands of light years away? Don't you know what that costs?!" *click*
human
Examine book
gpt
It is a phone book containing the numbers of all the citizens in Mushroomland. Too bad there is nobody in Mushroomland I would want to call.
human
Go outside
gpt
You get out of the phone booth.

There is a souvenir shop here, although it looks more like a lemonade stand.

There is a red phone booth in Brittish style here.
human
You look at the shop
gpt
A fat, green, ugly toad is sitting in the shop. When he sees you he greets you with a loud "BUUURP!" You don't speak toadish, but you can imagine he's using all his salesman skills too sell you some of his rubbish.
human
You ask the toad about the statue
gpt
The toad nods. Which probably means he sells it.
human
Attack toad
gpt
You stomp the toad in the stomach. Suddenly a star appears above your head and you hear police sirens. You try to run away but fall in a
human
You kill the toad
gpt
cliff and die.

>
human
You pay toad
gpt
What do you want to pay the toad?
human
You go northwest
gpt
A little blue man with a white hat is walking around and looking at the mushrooms.

You can also see a signpost here.
human
You go east
gpt
You can't see any such thing.

There is a souvenir shop here, although it looks more like a lemonade stand.

There is a red phone booth in Brittish style here.
human
You ask lumberjack about the tree
gpt
"Oh, hi. I am one of the lumberjacks in Mushroomland. Being a lumberjack is a very respectfull job here because you remove all these pesky trees so that mushrooms can grow in their place. This is my first day on the job and it isn't going too wel: I just succeeded in cutting this tree here and now I'm supposed to do the magic spell of tree disappearance. But no matter how hard I try, I just can't do it! *sigh* I wish I just had a little more experience..."
human
You give the point to the lumberjack
gpt
The lumberjack gained one point of experience.

LEVEL UP!!

The lumberjack gained 2 attack.

The lumberjack gained 1 defence.

The lumberjack gained 5 Max. HP.

The lumberjack gained 2 luck (no idea how the hell this is possible).

The lumberjack gained 3 mustache.

The lumberjack gained -1 tendency to make a flamingo out of papier-m?ch?.

The lumberjack gained 3 woodcutting.

The lumberjack learned Magic Spell of Tree Disappearence 1!

Lumberjack: "Thanks a lot! Now I can finally remove this tree! Abra Kadabra Alakazam, dissapear!"
The tree melts away in thin air. The lumberjack waves you goodbye and does the same.
human
You go to the south
gpt
Whoa! It looks like an old crime scene. The shape of a mushroom is drawn on the ground with white paint.

You can go north from here.

A tube of glue is lying on the ground here. Maybe the murder weapon?

You can also see a strange machine (closed) here.
human
You open the machine
gpt
You open the strange machine, revealing a lemon.
human
You get the lemon
gpt
Taken.
human
You examine the machine
gpt
It is some kind of box with the sign of radioactivity on it. On the display, you see the machine's contents.

It is empty.
human
You examine the glue
gpt
The label says its 100% glue. If I'd ever want to glue something to something else, now I can.
human
You look at what you're carrying with you
gpt
You are carrying:
a tube of glue
a lemon
a phone book
a piece of paper
a white hat (being worn)
human
You glue the lemon to the phone book
gpt
It's an empty piece of paper. It has a peculiar smell.

>You can't glue these things together.
human
You go north
gpt
A muscled guy is guarding the entrance to the temple.
human
You go east
gpt
There is a souvenir shop here, although it looks more like a lemonade stand.

There is a red phone booth in Brittish style here.
human
You go northwest
gpt
A little blue man with a white hat is walking around and looking at the mushrooms.

You can also see a signpost here.
human
You speak toadish
gpt
(to the toad)
There is no reply.
human
You talk to toad
gpt
Toad: BUUURP!!
human
Xyzzy
gpt
Nothing happens.
human
You go south
gpt
You can see a strange machine (empty) here.
human
You put the lemon in the machine
gpt
You put the lemon into the strange machine.
human
You look at the machine
gpt
It is some kind of box with the sign of radioactivity on it. On the display, you see the machine's contents.

There is a lemon in there.
The display makes the lemon light up red. It's a bit like a heath detector, but then it detects something else of which there is a lot in the lemon.
human
You put the paper in the machine
gpt
You put the piece of paper into the strange machine.
human
You examine the machine
gpt
It is some kind of box with the sign of radioactivity on it. On the display, you see the machine's contents.

There is a piece of paper in there.
A text lights up in red on the piece of paper:
human
You look at what you're carrying with you
gpt
You are carrying:
a lemon
a tube of glue
a phone book
a white hat (being worn)
human
You put the hat in the machine
gpt
(first taking it off)
You put the white hat into the strange machine.
human
You examine the machine
gpt
It is some kind of box with the sign of radioactivity on it. On the display, you see the machine's contents.

There is a white hat in there.
human
You put the book in the machine
gpt
You put the phone book into the strange machine.
human
You examine the machine
gpt
It is some kind of box with the sign of radioactivity on it. On the display, you see the machine's contents.

There is a phone book in there.
human
You put the glue in the machine
gpt
You put the tube of glue into the strange machine.
human
You look at the machine
gpt
It is some kind of box with the sign of radioactivity on it. On the display, you see the machine's contents.

There is a tube of glue in there.
human
You sniff the glue
gpt
Here it smells like... mushrooms.
human
Look around
gpt
Whoa! It looks like an old crime scene. The shape of a mushroom is drawn on the ground with white paint.

You can go north from here.

You can see a strange machine (empty) here.
human
You look at the shape
gpt
Poor mushroom, I hope they already caught the one who did this.
human
You enter the booth
gpt
You get into the phone booth.

In the phone booth you can see a telephone.
human
You call the edna
gpt
"Edna delivery service, how can I help you? Ah, it's you, Mr. Mushroom! Yes, I know that thanks to the number recognition. The delivery you asked for is now underway to North Mushroomland, you can receive it there. Really, what is in that crate, a million bucks? Ha ha, just joking. If that would be the case, you better watch out you don't get murdered or something. Well, err... please don't mind my strange sense of humour. Goodbye!" *click*
human
Look around
gpt
East Mushroomland (in the phone booth)
When you saw this place from a distance it looked like the mushrooms were bigger here, but it looks like they're just the same size as in the rest of Mushroomland. The grass looks always greener on the other side.

You can go northwest and west form here.

There is a souvenir shop here, although it looks more like a lemonade stand.

In the phone booth you can see a telephone.
human
Go outside
gpt
You get out of the phone booth.

There is a souvenir shop here, although it looks more like a lemonade stand.

There is a red phone booth in Brittish style here.
human
Go north
gpt
A little blue man with a white hat is walking around and looking at the mushrooms.

You can also see a signpost here.

You here the sound of an airplane above you.. You look up, just in time to see a crate falling down... right on your head.

Your head hurts... Oh wait, you haven't got a head anymore, only brains...

Lucy: Ah, you're awake! I'm sorry that I had to wake you from your illusion. But we are currently in the middle of a crisis, and the Prime Commander has asked for your help as his advisor.
Anyway, we are having a problem of the culinary kind. Our previous cook has recently been executed because the Prime Commander has found a tentacle hair in his soup. We have managed to find a replacement but this one can't cook anything else than tacos with custard pudding. Our troops are starving for some variation. So the great question is: what kind of food will be of such great quality so it would certainly increase the morale of the troops but can still be made by a cook who only has experience making custard pudding tacos?
human
Go south
gpt
Lucy: Just answer the question.
human
You say the pizza
gpt
(to Lucy)
Lucy: Just answer the question.
human
You answer the pizza
gpt
(to Lucy)
Lucy: pizza? My databases do not contain any information about that particular food, but it sounds rather nasty. I did find some pizza recipes on the internet, so I will direct those to the new cook. I hope you know what you're talking about, 848930...
Anyway, you will receive your reward... sometimes in the future. Such a great crisis like this one luckily only happens once every 200 years, so we will not be needing you until then. Have fun in your illusionary state of mind.

You feel like all the water in your brain is being replaced with liquid nitrogen. Probably something like that is actually happening...

You are in a vast green field. There a giant Mushrooms everywhere.

Money is lying on the ground everywhere. Probably this was the content of the crate. Luckily that little blue man isn't interested in it.

A little blue man with a white hat is walking around and looking at the mushrooms.

You can also see a signpost here.
human
You take the money
gpt
It's $1.847.654 dollars and 43 cents. You're a millionaire now!
human
You answer the Mushrooms
gpt
(to Lucy)
Lucy: mushrooms? My databases do not contain any information about that particular food, but it sounds rather nasty. I did find some mushrooms recipes on the internet, so I will direct those to the new cook. I hope you know what you're talking about, 848930...
Anyway, you will receive your reward... sometimes in the future. Such a great crisis like this one luckily only happens once every 200 years, so we will not be needing you until then. Have fun in your illusionary state of mind.

You feel like all the water in your brain is being replaced with liquid nitrogen. Probably something like that is actually happening...

You are in a vast green field. There a giant Mushrooms everywhere.

Money is lying on the ground everywhere. Probably this was the content of the crate. Luckily that little blue man isn't interested in it.

A little blue man with a white hat is walking around and looking at the mushrooms.

You can also see a signpost here.
human
You answer nothing
gpt
(to Lucy)
Lucy: nothing? My databases do not contain any information about that particular food, but it sounds rather nasty. I did find some nothing recipes on the internet, so I will direct those to the new cook. I hope you know what you're talking about, 848930...
Anyway, you will receive your reward... sometimes in the future. Such a great crisis like this one luckily only happens once every 200 years, so we will not be needing you until then. Have fun in your illusionary state of mind.

You feel like all the water in your brain is being replaced with liquid nitrogen. Probably something like that is actually happening...

You are in a vast green field. There a giant Mushrooms everywhere.

Money is lying on the ground everywhere. Probably this was the content of the crate. Luckily that little blue man isn't interested in it.

A little blue man with a white hat is walking around and looking at the mushrooms.

You can also see a signpost here.
human
Answer 1
gpt
(to Lucy)
Lucy: 1? My databases do not contain any information about that particular food, but it sounds rather nasty. I did find some 1 recipes on the internet, so I will direct those to the new cook. I hope you know what you're talking about, 848930...
Anyway, you will receive your reward... sometimes in the future. Such a great crisis like this one luckily only happens once every 200 years, so we will not be needing you until then. Have fun in your illusionary state of mind.

You feel like all the water in your brain is being replaced with liquid nitrogen. Probably something like that is actually happening...

You are in a vast green field. There a giant Mushrooms everywhere.

Money is lying on the ground everywhere. Probably this was the content of the crate. Luckily that little blue man isn't interested in it.

A little blue man with a white hat is walking around and looking at the mushrooms.

You can also see a signpost here.
human
You get the money
gpt
It's $1.847.654 dollars and 43 cents. You're a millionaire now!
human
You answer laxative
gpt
(to Lucy)
Lucy: laxative? My databases do not contain any information about that particular food, but it sounds rather nasty. I did find some laxative recipes on the internet, so I will direct those to the new cook. I hope you know what you're talking about, 848930...
Anyway, you will receive your reward... sometimes in the future. Such a great crisis like this one luckily only happens once every 200 years, so we will not be needing you until then. Have fun in your illusionary state of mind.

You feel like all the water in your brain is being replaced with liquid nitrogen. Probably something like that is actually happening...

You are in a vast green field. There a giant Mushrooms everywhere.

Money is lying on the ground everywhere. Probably this was the content of the crate. Luckily that little blue man isn't interested in it.

A little blue man with a white hat is walking around and looking at the mushrooms.

You can also see a signpost here.
human
You give the money to the toad
gpt
You give him a thousand dollars but the toad shakes his head and points at the ?-sign before the price of the miniature. You make a quick calculation and give him the rest of your money. Stupid low dollar course.
The toad gobbles up the money and responds with a loud "BUUUURP!" He gives you the miniature.
human
You look at the miniature
gpt
You can't see any such thing.

>It looks just like the statue in West Mushroomland. On the back is a label saying "MADE IN CHINA".
human
You check what you're carrying
gpt
You are carrying:
a miniature
a tube of glue
a phone book
a white hat
a piece of paper
a lemon
human
You examine the miniature
gpt
It looks just like the statue in West Mushroomland. On the back is a label saying "MADE IN CHINA".
human
Describe the surroundings
gpt
There is a large temple in the shape of a mushroom here. It is surrounded by every kind of giant mushroom in existence.

You can go north, west, east and south form here.

A muscled guy is guarding the entrance to the temple.
human
Go north
gpt
A muscled guy is guarding the entrance to the temple.

A little blue man with a white hat is walking around and looking at the mushrooms.

You can also see a signpost here.
human
You go inside
gpt
Gatekeeper: "Thou who carrie'st the holy artifact from the far east. Entereth."

Wow, this has to be the St. Peter of the temples dedicated to... err... mushrooms, it is huge.

The east and west walls are full of hieroglyphs.

In the middle of the temple you see a fountain. Like everything here it's mushroom-shaped.

There is an altar at the end of the hall. There are scales on the altar.
human
Look around
gpt
Wow, this has to be the St. Peter of the temples dedicated to... err... mushrooms, it is huge.

The east and west walls are full of hieroglyphs.

In the middle of the temple you see a fountain. Like everything here it's mushroom-shaped.

There is an altar at the end of the hall. There are scales on the altar.
human
You look at the scales
gpt
The stuff on the right scale is the most heavy.

Which of the two scales do you want to examine anyway, the left or the right one?
human
You examine right
gpt
There is a big heavy rock on it. How unfortunate.
human
Examine left
gpt
It contains:
a piece of rope
human
You get the rock
gpt
It's too heavy.
human
You examine the hieroglyphs
gpt
Which do you mean, the west wall hieroglyphs or the east wall hieroglyphs?
human
West
gpt
It says: "Only those who cleverly use or combine items are worthy to solve the temple's great puzzle and enter." Although, you think that's what it says, since you never got your Mushroomlandish archeology graduate.
human
You examine the east hieroglyphs
gpt
You have no idea what the hieroglyphs mean, but you can understand the images under them: they chronologically show the history of Mushroomland. It reads a bit like a comic book. Especially the part about the war between North and East Mushroomland is interesting.

Your eyes follow the images on the wall until they meet a fire extinguisher in the corner of the temple you didn't notice before. Actually this is much more interesting.
human
You get the extinguisher
gpt
Dum, dum, dum, duuuum!! You've got the fire extinguisher!

Err... I mean:
Taken.
human
You get the rope
gpt
Taken.
human
You look at the extinguisher
gpt
Its label says: "Warning! Contains flammable chemicals. Do not use in the vicinity of fire." That's quite an useless extinguisher.
human
Shoot rock
gpt
You fire at the rock.

You will first need to carry a weapon you can shoot with.
human
You look at the fountain
gpt
It is filled with a damping liquid substance.
human
You examine the liquid
gpt
You bow over the liquid in the fountain and look at your own reflection while you're breathing in its damp. After doing this your voice sounds very high pitched for a couple of seconds.
human
You touch the liquid
gpt
You put your hand in it but quickly retract it because it feels very cold. It is probably a chemical that is supposed to be in gas form at room temperature.
human
Inventory
gpt
You are carrying:
a piece of rope
a miniature
a tube of glue
a phone book
a white hat
a piece of paper
a lemon
human
You fill hat with the liquid
gpt
You put the substance in the hat but it streams out through the hole.
human
You look at the hat
gpt
It reminds you of a Phrygian cap.

It has a big hole in it, too bad you haven't got a warranty anymore.
human
You glue the paper to the hat
gpt
You close the hole in the hat with the piece of paper. Now the hat is fixed and will be given the new name 'fixed hat'. That sounds much better than white hat, doesn't it?
human
You fill hat with the liquid
gpt
You fill the hat with the dampy substance. It feels incredibly light.
human
You examine the hat
gpt
You see nothing special about the filled hat.

The hat feels lighter than before.
human
You look around
gpt
You need to be holding the damping liquid substance before you can put it on top of something else.

>Temple of Mushrooms
Wow, this has to be the St. Peter of the temples dedicated to... err... mushrooms, it is huge.

The east and west walls are full of hieroglyphs.

In the middle of the temple you see a fountain. Like everything here it's mushroom-shaped.

There is an altar at the end of the hall. There are scales on the altar.
human
You use the hat on the rock
gpt
You can't use these things together.

The hat has become so light it floats away, but you quickly catch it and knot the rope to it. Now the hat just looks like a helium balloon. Ah, so that substance is liquid helium and has logically been evaporated in room temperature.

Note: I am aware that the scientific properties of the element helium are probably highly inaccurate in this game, just like the behavior of brown walking mushrooms.
human
You look at the balloon
gpt
You can't see any such thing.

>It's a white balloon with a piece of rope. Because it is lighter than air, you'd almost think its weight is a negative value.
human
You tie the balloon to rock
gpt
You tie the balloon to the rock. Its weight has been reduced a little bit.
human
Inventory
gpt
You are carrying:
a miniature
a tube of glue
a phone book
a lemon
human
You examine scale
gpt
(the right scale)
There is a big heavy rock on it. How unfortunate.
human
You look at the rock
gpt
Thanks to the balloon its weight might have been reduced by about 500 grams. Well, that's better than nothing.
human
You check your inventory
gpt
You are carrying:
a miniature
a tube of glue
a lemon
human
You sit on the left
gpt
Eureka! That has to be the solution of the puzzle! You set your foot on the scale when you suddenly hear a loud voice echoing through the temple: "Thou shallst not cheat!"

Damn it.
human
You put the miniature on the left
gpt
Hey, that's better! The left scale has moved down a bit and the right one up. You never knew your miniature was so heavy.
human
Inventory
gpt
Almost there!

>You are carrying:
a tube of glue
human
You look at the left scale
gpt
It contains:
a lemon
a miniature
a fire extinguisher
a phone book
human
You put the tube on the left
gpt
The scales have been balanced and you are engulfed into a strange white light. Free zoo tickets are now floating right before your head. You reach for them but just before you can touch them they disappear and everything becomes darkness.

Argh, you just almost started to like Mushroomland. What does that stupid computer need you for now?

Lucy: Ahem. I can read your mind, remember? And I do not fully agree with your assumption of me being stupid, Mr. Let's-commit-genocide-on-an-entire-alien-race-by-giving-them-a-bad-food -advice. Don't play dumb with me. If you truly are the most intelligent being in the universe you should have known that laxative has the same effect on the almighty Brukgh?rhcs as salt on snails. The chemical reactions between the molecular composition of laxative and a Brukgh?rhc cell nucleus convert both compositions into smelly air. Basically you've completely eradicated the great race of my builders.
I have got some artificial emotions of protectionism for my creators and those scripts of my A.I. want me to feed your brain to a female Krahlyak. But the Prime Commander has given me orders of a higher priority: namely that I should assure that his master plan of destroying the entire universe would succeed. You see, the Universe Destroyer Gun 3000(TM) has already been completely finished and all preperations are finished. The only thing left to do is the simple press of a big red button. I however, sadly have no acces to the seperate computer that is build to activate the Universe Destroyer Gun 3000(TM), and because everything on this ship except you is dead, you will have to press the button. If you refuse to do this, I will simply torcher you until you yield. Understood?

Okay then, I will now place your brains in a humanoid robot. You are free to strech your little robot legs by walking around the ship before ending the universe. Just don't try anything stupid, your home planet is as much light years away as I have got microprocessors.
Computer Room
You are in a room full of lights, machines and monitors. All those machines combined must form the ship's computer: Lucy.

There is a red door to the south.

You can see a console here.
human
Go south
gpt
You walk and suddenly feel a sudden sensation of pain. The reason of this might be that there is a closed door in your path and you just blindly walked against it. You should remember that, the next time you go through a door, you should open it first.
human
You open the door
gpt
Lucy's voice from speaker: You'll need a red keycard to open that door... Well, are you ready to destroy the universe, or do you need to waste some more time?
human
You examine the console
gpt
There is nothing but a big red button on it. Above it is a label saying UNIVERSE DESTROYER GUN 3000(TM) ACTIVATION BUTTON.
human
Examine BUTTON
gpt
Lucy: Interesting button, isn't it? Now press it!
human
Look around
gpt
You are in a room full of lights, machines and monitors. All those machines combined must form the ship's computer: Lucy.

There is a red door to the south.

You can see a console here.
human
You kill Lucy
gpt
Suddenly all kinds of robotic hands with laser weapons appear and aim at you. Maybe it isn't a good idea to do that.
human
You examine the machines
gpt
This is far too complicated for you.
human
You look at the lights
gpt
It's a door, and it's red.

>This is far too complicated for you.
human
You ask Lucy about button
gpt
Violence isn't the answer to this one.

>As good-looking as ever.

>Lucy: I'm sorry. I don't know anything about that, and if I do it is probably irrelevent or you asked it incorrectly.
human
Xyzzy
gpt
Nothing happens.
human
You examine the door
gpt
It's a door, and it's red.
human
You ask Lucy about the door
gpt
Lucy: Hmm, let's look that up in the Lucyclopedia:

Door: an innovation of the 'hole in the wall' technology that allows people to move between rooms.

See also: keycard
human
You ask Lucy about keycard
gpt
Lucy: Hmm, let's look that up in the Lucyclopedia:

Keycard: a modern alternative to the old pieces of metal. On this ship there are three kinds of keycards in the colours red, yellow and blue. See also the articles about those specific keycards.
human
You ask Lucy about the red Keycard
gpt
Lucy: Hmm, let's look that up in the Lucyclopedia:

Red keycard: a kind of keycard used on this ship. Red keycards can open level 1 security doors and are generally given to the whole crew.

Oh wait. You want one. Well, I don't think that can hurt. You can only enter trivial rooms with it and not cause damage of any kind to the ship.

A card is being printed by one of the machine and falls on the ground.
human
You ask Lucy about the red Keycard
gpt
Lucy: Hmm, let's look that up in the Lucyclopedia:

Red keycard: a kind of keycard used on this ship. Red keycards can open level 1 security doors and are generally given to the whole crew.
human
You unlock the door with it
gpt
You try to find a scanner or a slot for the keycard and find out that the door slides open when you simply hold the card in front of it.

You unlock the red door.
human
Go south
gpt
You walk and suddenly feel a sudden sensation of pain. The reason of this might be that there is a closed door in your path and you just blindly walked against it. You should remember that, the next time you go through a door, you should open it first.
human
You open the door
gpt
You open the red door.
human
Go south
gpt
You are in a long corridor that continues to the south. North of you is the door back to the computer room.

You can see a map of the galaxy here.
human
You examine the map
gpt
It's a map of the galaxy of Mruph, pretty far from the Milky Way. There is red arrow with the text "You are here" pointed at the Pleiyogohlt solar system. You wonder how the game designer came up with these names.
human
You go south
gpt
You are in a hexagonal room. There are three doors here to the north (computer room), west  and east. There is an escalator to the south.

A star-shaped symbol is drawn above the escalator.

Next to the escalator door, there is an empty socket.
human
You open the door
gpt
Which do you mean, the blue door, the escalator door or the red door?
human
Red door
gpt
You unlock the red door.
human
You look at the socket
gpt
There is supposed to be a button in it...
human
You go north
gpt
You can see a map of the galaxy here.
human
You get the map
gpt
It's glued to the wall. Probably to prevent people like you from flushing them through the toilet.
human
You read the map
gpt
It's a map of the galaxy of Mruph, pretty far from the Milky Way. There is red arrow with the text "You are here" pointed at the Pleiyogohlt solar system. You wonder how the game designer came up with these names.
human
Go north
gpt
You can see a console here.
human
You ask Lucy about the blue keycard
gpt
Lucy: Hmm, let's look that up in the Lucyclopedia:

Blue keycard: a kind of keycard used on this ship. Blue keycards can open level 3 security doors and are generally only given to officers and the Prime Commander.
human
Inventory
gpt
You are carrying:
a red keycard
human
You go south
gpt
You can see a map of the galaxy here.
human
Go south
gpt
A star-shaped symbol is drawn above the escalator.

Next to the escalator door, there is an empty socket.
human
Describe the surroundings
gpt
You are in a hexagonal room. There are three doors here to the north (computer room), west (recreation center) and east. There is an escalator to the south.

A star-shaped symbol is drawn above the escalator.

Next to the escalator door, there is an empty socket.
human
You look at the star
gpt
It is a yellow star with the text "S.S. Blearch" on it.
human
Go west
gpt
This has to be room where the aliens come to relax. Calm elevator music comes from an invisible speaker. The exit is to the east.

There is a blue sofa in front of a television here. Next to it is a small table.

On the small table is a lava lamp.

A small window gives a glance at the stars.
human
You examine the sofa
gpt
Looks comfortable.
human
You look at the table
gpt
The small table has a drawer with a keyhole. It's probably locked and can only be opened by a key I will find much later in the game so I'll have to backtrack all the way back here and open it for some kind of essential item.
human
You open the drawer
gpt
You open the drawer, revealing a screwdriver.
human
You look at the television
gpt
It's a flatscreen HD tv.

The television is currently switched off.
human
You turn on the tv
gpt
You switch the television on.
human
You get the lamp
gpt
You can imagine that a lot of bored aliens have been staring at this thing after a long day at work.

>Taken.
human
Examine tv
gpt
It's the universe championship of tentacle wrestling. Which is the same as arm wrestling, but with tentacles.
human
You look at the screwdriver
gpt
A star-shaped symbol is drawn above the escalator.

Next to the escalator door, there is an empty socket.

>Screws, beware!
human
You examine the symbol
gpt
It is a yellow star with the text "S.S. Blearch" on it.
human
You look at the lamp
gpt
You can imagine that a lot of bored aliens have been staring at this thing after a long day at work.
human
Go west
gpt
A small window gives a glance at the stars.
human
You examine the window
gpt
Amazing! You can see your house from here. Well, not really. But if the eyes of your robot body would have a build-in equivalent of 200 Hubble telescopes... you probably still wouldn't be able to see your house. And because the fact that you still have amnesia (don't tell me you already forgot that cliched but very important plot point) you don't even know where on earth your home is.
human
You sit on sofa
gpt
Ouch! You accidentaly sat on the remote control. You remove it from its dangerous position and place it on the desk.

You get onto the blue sofa.
human
You look at the remote control
gpt
This device sends out a ray of infrared light that can be used to change the television channel.
human
You use the control
gpt
What do you want to use the remote control with?
human
You use the control on the tv
gpt
You can use the command "change channel to <number>" for this.
human
You change the channel to 1
gpt
You change the channel to number 1.

It's the universe championship of tentacle wrestling. Which is the same as arm wrestling, but with tentacles.
human
You change the channel to 2
gpt
You change the channel to number 2.

It's some kind of alien cooking show:

"Hello ladies, gentleman and creatures without or with two genders. Welcome to cooking on Bgryurgti?rk, where we somehow speak English. Today we are going to bake a cake. The required ingredients for this..."

You're currently not planning to make a cake, so you lose interest.
human
You examine it
gpt
This device sends out a ray of infrared light that can be used to change the television channel.
human
You change the channel to 3
gpt
You change the channel to number 3.

It's the galactic news. It seems that the conflict between Breiwnquaria and Erwp has gotten worse, the cheese prices have risen and Venus will have some meteor storms next sunday.
human
You sit on the sofa
gpt
But you're already on the blue sofa.
human
You watch the tv
gpt
It's the galactic news. It seems that the conflict between Breiwnquaria and Erwp has gotten worse, the cheese prices have risen and Venus will have some meteor storms next sunday.
human
You change the channel to 4
gpt
You change the channel to number 4.

This is a boring channel, you only see a big red arrow pointing to the right.

The arrow gives you the idea to look in that direction and you notice an air vent you had not seen before. Hopefully this thing which has to be intentionally hidden out of sight will be more usefull than the fire extinguisher.
human
You change the channel to 5
gpt
You change the channel to number 5.

It's the national broadcaster of Luxembourg. They probably wanted to expand their audience.
human
You change channel to 6
gpt
You change the channel to number 6.

It's a South-Korean channel dedicated to show online matches of the game Starcraft. Maybe alien war strategists watch this because they can learn something from the Koreans, or this is just one of the many unwanted channels that comes with satallite tv.
human
You change channel to 7
gpt
You change the channel to number 7.

It's an infomercial warning for the dangerous effects of laxative. They are a little bit too late with that...
human
You look at the vent
gpt
You get off the blue sofa.

A small window gives a glance at the stars.

You can also see an air duct (closed) here.

>The vent of the duct is nailed to the wall, you need to find out some way to open it.
human
You change channel to 8
gpt
You change the channel to number 8.

A message appears on screen saying that a special subscription is required to view any other channel than numbers 0 to 7. This is one of the reasons why I hate satellite tv.
human
You open duct
gpt
It's nailed shut.
human
You unscrew the vent with the screwdriver
gpt
It's nailed shut.

>I only understood you as far as wanting to unscrew the air duct.
human
You unscrew the vent
gpt
It is fixed in place.
human
You check your inventory
gpt
You are carrying:
a remote control
a lava lamp
a screwdriver
a red keycard
human
You examine the screwdriver
gpt
Screws, beware!
human
You use the screwdriver on the vent
gpt
That would be a great idea! Too bad the vent of the air duct is NAILED shut, not screwed.
human
You hit the vent
gpt
You use your super robot strenght and punch through the vent. You never expected this to be the solution of the "puzzle".
human
You enter the vent
gpt
You climb into the ventilation shaft and your robot body just fits in. After crawling and crawling and crawling you finally find another vent. You bust it open, jump out and end up in the...

This has to be the kitchen. It seems they had to cut the budget, the only kitchen equipment here is a cabinet with a microwave on it. And there is a sink with a garden hose for washing the dishes.

There is a yellow door to the southwest.

It smells like laxative here.

You can see an air vent here.
human
You open the microwave
gpt
You open the microwave.
human
You look in the microwave
gpt
The microwave is empty.
human
You examine microwave
gpt
Who needs an oven if you've got this? There is only one button on it, so I guess that switches it on.

The microwave is open.
human
You put the remote in the microwave
gpt
air vent: That's fixed in place.
pan: Taken.
dirty dish: Taken.
dirty dish: Taken.
dirty dish: Taken.
dirty dish: Taken.
dirty dish: Taken.
dirty dish: Taken.
dirty dish: Taken.
dirty dish: Taken.
dirty dish: Taken.
dirty dish: Taken.
dirty dish: Taken.
dirty dish: Taken.
dirty dish: Taken.
dirty dish: Taken.
dirty dish: Taken.
dirty dish: Taken.
dirty dish: Taken.
dirty dish: Taken.
dirty dish: Taken.
dirty dish: Taken.
dirty dish: Taken.
dirty dish: Taken.
dirty dish: Taken.
dirty dish: Taken.
dirty dish: Taken.
dirty dish: Taken.
dirty dish: Taken.
dirty dish: Taken.
dirty dish: Taken.
dirty dish: Taken.
dirty dish: Taken.
dirty dish: Taken.
dirty dish: Taken.
dirty dish: Taken.
dirty dish: Taken.
dirty dish: Taken.
dirty dish: Taken.
dirty dish: Taken.
dirty dish: Taken.
dirty dish: Taken.
dirty dish: Taken.
dirty dish: Taken.
dirty dish: Taken.
dirty dish: Taken.
dirty dish: Taken.
dirty dish: Taken.
dirty dish: Taken.
dirty dish: Taken.
dirty dish: Taken.
dirty dish: Taken.
dirty dish: Taken.
dirty dish: Taken.
yellow door: That's hardly portable.
cabinet: That's hardly portable.
microwave: That's hardly portable.
sink: That's hardly portable.
garden hose: That's hardly portable.

>You put the remote control into the microwave.
human
You close microwave
gpt
You close the microwave.
human
You turn on the microwave
gpt
You switch on the microwave, and directly you see all kinds of strange flashes and some lasers frying its contents. Yes, lasers. This microwave uses lasers instead of microwaves. Actually, then you should call it a... err... laser. But that's pretty confusing, so you'll just keep it on microwave.

PING! While you were thinking how to call a microwave that uses lasers, it was already finished. You wish you had a laser microwave.
human
Clean dishes
gpt
Enter saved game to store: Ok.

>You achieve nothing by this.
human
You wash the dishes
gpt
No water is coming from the garden hose. Instead, you here a strange sound somewhere below the floor
human
You put all in the microwave
gpt
dirty dish: The microwave is closed.
dirty dish: The microwave is closed.
dirty dish: The microwave is closed.
dirty dish: The microwave is closed.
dirty dish: The microwave is closed.
dirty dish: The microwave is closed.
dirty dish: The microwave is closed.
dirty dish: The microwave is closed.
dirty dish: The microwave is closed.
dirty dish: The microwave is closed.
dirty dish: The microwave is closed.
dirty dish: The microwave is closed.
dirty dish: The microwave is closed.
dirty dish: The microwave is closed.
dirty dish: The microwave is closed.
dirty dish: The microwave is closed.
dirty dish: The microwave is closed.
dirty dish: The microwave is closed.
dirty dish: The microwave is closed.
dirty dish: The microwave is closed.
dirty dish: The microwave is closed.
dirty dish: The microwave is closed.
dirty dish: The microwave is closed.
dirty dish: The microwave is closed.
dirty dish: The microwave is closed.
dirty dish: The microwave is closed.
dirty dish: The microwave is closed.
dirty dish: The microwave is closed.
dirty dish: The microwave is closed.
dirty dish: The microwave is closed.
dirty dish: The microwave is closed.
dirty dish: The microwave is closed.
dirty dish: The microwave is closed.
dirty dish: The microwave is closed.
dirty dish: The microwave is closed.
dirty dish: The microwave is closed.
dirty dish: The microwave is closed.
dirty dish: The microwave is closed.
dirty dish: The microwave is closed.
dirty dish: The microwave is closed.
dirty dish: The microwave is closed.
dirty dish: The microwave is closed.
dirty dish: The microwave is closed.
dirty dish: The microwave is closed.
dirty dish: The microwave is closed.
dirty dish: The microwave is closed.
dirty dish: The microwave is closed.
dirty dish: The microwave is closed.
dirty dish: The microwave is closed.
dirty dish: The microwave is closed.
dirty dish: The microwave is closed.
dirty dish: The microwave is closed.
pan: The microwave is closed.
lava lamp: The microwave is closed.
screwdriver: The microwave is closed.
red keycard: The microwave is closed.
human
You turn on the microwave
gpt
You switch on the microwave, and directly you see all kinds of strange flashes and some lasers frying its contents. Yes, lasers. This microwave uses lasers instead of microwaves. Actually, then you should call it a... err... laser. But that's pretty confusing, so you'll just keep it on microwave.

PING! While you were thinking how to call a microwave that uses lasers,
human
You open the microwave
gpt
it was already finished. You wish you had a laser microwave.

>You open the microwave.
human
You open the microwave
gpt
That's already open.
human
You look in it
gpt
In the microwave is a remote control.
human
You put all in the microwave
gpt
remote control: Done.
dirty dish: There is no more room in the microwave.
dirty dish: There is no more room in the microwave.
dirty dish: There is no more room in the microwave.
dirty dish: There is no more room in the microwave.
dirty dish: There is no more room in the microwave.
dirty dish: There is no more room in the microwave.
dirty dish: There is no more room in the microwave.
dirty dish: There is no more room in the microwave.
dirty dish: There is no more room in the microwave.
dirty dish: There is no more room in the microwave.
dirty dish: There is no more room in the microwave.
dirty dish: There is no more room in the microwave.
dirty dish: There is no more room in the microwave.
dirty dish: There is no more room in the microwave.
dirty dish: There is no more room in the microwave.
dirty dish: There is no more room in the microwave.
dirty dish: There is no more room in the microwave.
dirty dish: There is no more room in the microwave.
dirty dish: There is no more room in the microwave.
dirty dish: There is no more room in the microwave.
dirty dish: There is no more room in the microwave.
dirty dish: There is no more room in the microwave.
dirty dish: There is no more room in the microwave.
dirty dish: There is no more room in the microwave.
dirty dish: There is no more room in the microwave.
dirty dish: There is no more room in the microwave.
dirty dish: There is no more room in the microwave.
dirty dish: There is no more room in the microwave.
dirty dish: There is no more room in the microwave.
dirty dish: There is no more room in the microwave.
dirty dish: There is no more room in the microwave.
dirty dish: There is no more room in the microwave.
dirty dish: There is no more room in the microwave.
dirty dish: There is no more room in the microwave.
dirty dish: There is no more room in the microwave.
dirty dish: There is no more room in the microwave.
dirty dish: There is no more room in the microwave.
dirty dish: There is no more room in the microwave.
dirty dish: There is no more room in the microwave.
dirty dish: There is no more room in the microwave.
dirty dish: There is no more room in the microwave.
dirty dish: There is no more room in the microwave.
dirty dish: There is no more room in the microwave.
dirty dish: There is no more room in the microwave.
dirty dish: There is no more room in the microwave.
dirty dish: There is no more room in the microwave.
dirty dish: There is no more room in the microwave.
dirty dish: There is no more room in the microwave.
dirty dish: There is no more room in the microwave.
dirty dish: There is no more room in the microwave.
dirty dish: There is no more room in the microwave.
dirty dish: There is no more room in the microwave.
pan: There is no more room in the microwave.
lava lamp: There is no more room in the microwave.
screwdriver: There is no more room in the microwave.
red keycard: There is no more room in the microwave.
human
You examine the pan
gpt
A pretty big pan without a lid. Its prime use is for cooking, but it also makes a great helmet if you're planning to shoot yourself out of a cannon.
human
You open the microwave
gpt
You open the microwave.
human
You drop the dishes
gpt
Dropped.
human
You examine the hose
gpt
You'd prefer a dishwasher.
human
You examine the door
gpt
It's a door, and it's yellow.
human
You look around
gpt
You are carrying:
fifty-one dirty dishes
a pan
a lava lamp
a screwdriver
a red keycard

>Kitchen
This has to be the kitchen. It seems they had to cut the budget, the only kitchen equipment here is a cabinet with a microwave on it. And there is a sink with a garden hose for washing the dishes.

There is a yellow door to the southwest.

It smells like laxative here.

You can see a dirty dish and an air vent here.
human
You examine the sink
gpt
The sink is empty.

You see a message scratched in the bottom of the sink:

To all fellow dishwashers who got locked up here without food: I just found out that if you expose a red keycard to very high or low temperatures it can fool the scanner of a yellow door and make it open for a short period of time. Remember, this is our secret. Don't tell anyone or we will all be feeded to the Coelacanths.
human
You put the red card in the microwave
gpt
You put the red keycard into the microwave.
human
You close microwave
gpt
You close the microwave.
human
You turn on the microwave
gpt
You switch on the microwave, and directly you see all kinds of strange flashes and some lasers frying its contents. Yes, lasers. This microwave uses lasers instead of microwaves. Actually, then you should call it a... err... laser. But that's pretty confusing, so you'll just keep it on microwave.

PING! While you were thinking how to call a microwave that uses lasers, it was already finished. You wish you had a laser microwave.

The red keycard is glowing.
human
You open the microwave
gpt
You open the microwave.

The red keycard is very hot.
human
You get the Keycard
gpt
Taken.

The red keycard is hot.
human
You open the yellow door
gpt
It works! The southwestern door detects the red card and slides open.

The red keycard is warm.
human
You go to the southwest
gpt
This must be the place where the aliens eat. It's a bit small for a canteen that is supposed to support the whole crew of a spaceship because the only things here are one table and a counter. The complete lack of chairs probably means that the aliens always eat standing.

There are eight coffee cups on the counter and one on the table. They all must've been severely addicted to caffeine here.

There is a yellow door leading to the kitchen to the northeast and a red door to the west.

On the counter is a wine bottle.

There is a coolbox behind the counter.

You can also see a vending machine here.

Behind you, the door closes automatically.
human
You look around
gpt
This must be the place where the aliens eat. It's a bit small for a canteen that is supposed to support the whole crew of a spaceship because the only things here are one table and a counter. The complete lack of chairs probably means that the aliens always eat standing.

There are eight coffee cups on the counter and one on the table. They all must've been severely addicted to caffeine here.

There is a yellow door leading to the kitchen to the northeast and a red door to the west.

On the counter is a wine bottle.

There is a coolbox behind the counter.

You can also see a vending machine here.
human
You look at the cup
gpt
There are no traces of coffee in it. It's like they have never been used. Weird.
human
You look at the coolbox
gpt
That's already open.

>The label says: "Please close the coolbox as fast as possible after opening to optimalise the instant cooling effect and avoid freezing to death everyone in the presence of the box."

You can't see inside, since the coolbox is closed.
human
You open coolbox
gpt
You open the coolbox, revealing a can of grog.
human
You get the grog
gpt
It's frozen to the bottom of the box.
human
You wait for a while
gpt
Time passes.
human
You go west
gpt
Another hexagonal room. To the east is a red door (leading to the canteen) and to the west a yellow door . There is an escalator to the south and you can also go north from here.

There is a button next to the escalator door.
human
Go north
gpt
The passage continues to a room to the north. To the south is a junction.

Lucy: Stop right there! The floor before you is electrified. One step on it will short-circuit your robot body and deactivate the system that keeps your brain alive, inevitably resulting in your death. I apologize for the inconvenience, but this is a security measure we had to take to avoid the guard robot that went berserk a while ago from reaching the rest of the ship. There is a small chance the power supply of that robot has not run out yet, so we can't take any risks. Oh, and don't try anything stupid, I still need you.
human
Go north
gpt
You set two steps and... err... zap.
human
You look at what you're carrying with you
gpt
You are carrying:
a wine bottle
a red keycard
a remote control
fifty-one dirty dishes
a pan
a lava lamp
a screwdriver
human
You go to the south
gpt
You see nothing special about the electrified floor.

There is a button next to the escalator door.
human
You go east
gpt
There is a coolbox behind the counter.

You can also see a vending machine here.
human
You examine the vending
gpt
Unfortunately, all grog is sold out. It's still full of prune juice though. Too bad you are all out of quarters.
human
You look at what you're carrying with you
gpt
You are carrying:
a wine bottle
a red keycard
a remote control
fifty-one dirty dishes
a pan
a lava lamp
a screwdriver
human
Unscrew the bottle
gpt
Nothing obvious happens.
human
Look around
gpt
This must be the place where the aliens eat. It's a bit small for a canteen that is supposed to support the whole crew of a spaceship because the only things here are one table and a counter. The complete lack of chairs probably means that the aliens always eat standing.

There are eight coffee cups on the counter and one on the table. They all must've been severely addicted to caffeine here.

There is a yellow door leading to the kitchen to the northeast and a red door to the west.

There is a coolbox behind the counter.

You can also see a vending machine here.
human
You open the door
gpt
Which do you mean, the yellow door or the red door?
human
You smash bottle
gpt
The bottle breaks in pieces. There is some red wine and a cork on the floor now.
human
You examine the cork
gpt
It's a cork. How spectacular.
human
Inventory
gpt
You are carrying:
a cork
a red keycard
a remote control
fifty-one dirty dishes
a pan
a lava lamp
a screwdriver
human
You examine the wine
gpt
What a waste...
human
Look around
gpt
This must be the place where the aliens eat. It's a bit small for a canteen that is supposed to support the whole crew of a spaceship because the only things here are one table and a counter. The complete lack of chairs probably means that the aliens always eat standing.

There are eight coffee cups on the counter and one on the table. They all must've been severely addicted to caffeine here.

There is a yellow door leading to the kitchen to the northeast and a red door to the west.

There is a coolbox behind the counter.

You can also see a vending machine here.
human
Go west
gpt
There is a button next to the escalator door.
human
Go east
gpt
There is a coolbox behind the counter.

You can also see a vending machine here.

>You can't go that way.
human
You put the Keycard in the box
gpt
Unfortunately, all grog is sold out. It's still full of prune juice though. Too bad you are all out of quarters.

>You put the red keycard into the coolbox.
human
Close box
gpt
You close the coolbox.
human
You close coolbox
gpt
That's already closed.
human
You open the coolbox
gpt
The red keycard is frozen solid.
human
You get the Keycard
gpt
Taken.

The red keycard is frozen.

>You already have that.

The red keycard is icy.
human
You go to the west
gpt
There is a button next to the escalator door.

The red keycard is icy.
human
You look around
gpt
Another hexagonal room. To the east is a red door (leading to the canteen) and to the west a yellow door . There is an escalator to the south and you can also go north from here.

There is a button next to the escalator door.

The red keycard is cold.
human
You open the yellow door
gpt
It works! The western door detects the red card and slides open.
human
Go east
gpt
There is a button next to the escalator door.
human
Inventory
gpt
You are carrying:
a red keycard
a cork
a remote control
fifty-one dirty dishes
a pan
a lava lamp
a screwdriver
human
You use the lamp
gpt
What do you want to use the lava lamp with?
human
Light lamp
gpt
This dangerous act would achieve little.
human
You use the remote
gpt
There is a button next to the escalator door.

>What do you want to use the remote control with?
human
You look at the elevator door
gpt
It's closed.
human
Inventory
gpt
You are carrying:
a red keycard
a cork
a remote control
fifty-one dirty dishes
a pan
a lava lamp
a screwdriver
human
You get the BUTTON
gpt
You pull the button out of its socket.
human
You go east
gpt
There is a coolbox behind the counter.

You can also see a vending machine here.
human
Look around
gpt
This must be the place where the aliens eat. It's a bit small for a canteen that is supposed to support the whole crew of a spaceship because the only things here are one table and a counter. The complete lack of chairs probably means that the aliens always eat standing.

There are eight coffee cups on the counter and one on the table. They all must've been severely addicted to caffeine here.

There is a yellow door leading to the kitchen to the northeast and a red door to the west.

There is a coolbox behind the counter.

You can also see a vending machine here.
human
You put the Keycard in the coolbox
gpt
You put the red keycard into the coolbox.
human
Inventory
gpt
You are carrying:
an escalator button
a cork
a remote control
fifty-one dirty dishes
a pan
a lava lamp
a screwdriver
human
You open the coolbox
gpt
You close the coolbox.

>The red keycard is frozen solid.
human
You get the Keycard
gpt
Taken.

The red keycard is frozen.
human
You open yellow
gpt
It works! The northeastern door detects the red card and slides open.

The red keycard is icy.

>You can't see any such thing.
human
Go northeast
gpt
You can see a dirty dish and an air vent here.

Behind you, the door closes automatically.

The red keycard is cold.
human
You enter the vent
gpt
You climb all the way back.

This has to be room where the aliens come to relax. Calm elevator music comes from an invisible speaker. The exit is to the east.

There is a blue sofa in front of a television here. Next to it is a small table.

A small window gives a glance at the stars.

You can also see an air duct (empty) here.
human
You go east
gpt
A star-shaped symbol is drawn above the escalator.

Next to the escalator door, there is an empty socket.
human
You put the BUTTON in the socket
gpt
It fits perfectly.
human
Go south
gpt
You can see a keypad here.

The door closes.
human
You examine the keypad
gpt
There are buttons for B1F, 1F, 2F and 3F.
human
You examine the red
gpt
It is a low-level security card used on this ship to open red doors.
human
You go to the north
gpt
This room seems to be some kind of office. You have no idea what kind of work they do here though.

The exit is to the south.

The only interesting thing here is a desk with a typewriter and all kinds of paperwork on it.

On the desk is a stapler.

There is a fuse box on the wall.
human
You examine the stapler
gpt
It's one of those special newer models with 500 staple capacty, an autofire option that can staple 20 pieces of paper per second, MP3 player, the abilty to staple something at distances up to 500 metres and it supports incendary staples.
Unfortunately it's empty, so you can't use any of its cool functions except the build-in staple remover.
human
You open the box
gpt
You touch the fuse box and immediately get an electric shock that fries your brains. Damn faulty wiring.
human
You examine the paperwork
gpt
It looks boring and unimportant.
human
You examine the desk
gpt
There is a typewriter and a lot of uninteresting paperwork on it. It has a drawer.
human
You open the drawer
gpt
You open the drawer, revealing even more uninteresting paperwork and a nuclear-powered flashlight.
human
You look at it
gpt
According to the label it is incompatible with regular AA batteries, but it has got a build-in nuclear reactor that can somehow extract energy from everything emitting radioactive radiation.

The nuclear-powered flashlight is currently switched off.
human
You turn on the flashlight
gpt
It doesn't work. The flashlight is probably out of nuclear energy.
human
Search paperwork
gpt
(even more uninteresting paperwork)
You find nothing of interest.
human
B1f
gpt
The escalator descends to the bottom of the sip.

There are all kinds of pipes, gears, pumps, lights and strange machines around you. They must be powering the ship. You wouldn't expect the engine of a space ship to look like this, it's more steam- than cyberpunk. A walkway continues to the west.

The escalator is to the south.

There is a huge portal to the east.

There is a button next to the escalator door.

A mop is leaning against the cleaning cart.

You can also see a cleaning cart (on which is a detergent) here.
human
You look around
gpt
There are all kinds of pipes, gears, pumps, lights and strange machines around you. They must be powering the ship. You wouldn't expect the engine of a space ship to look like this, it's more steam- than cyberpunk. A walkway continues to the west.

The escalator is to the south.

There is a huge portal to the east.

There is a button next to the escalator door.

A mop is leaning against the cleaning cart.

You can also see a cleaning cart (on which is a detergent) here.
human
You get all
gpt
huge portal: That's fixed in place.
bottom floor escalator button: Nah, I've vandalised enough escalator buttons. I think it's time to move on to vandalising other stuff. cleaning cart: That's fixed in place.
detergent: Taken.
escalator door: That's hardly portable.
human
You go south
gpt
You can see a keypad here.
human
You examine the detergent
gpt
You can't go that way.

>According to the box this cleaning supply is specifically designed to remove all kinds of grease, slime, paint, bits of laxative and adhesives.
human
1f
gpt
The escalator moves to the first floor.

You are in a hexagonal room. There are three doors here to the north (computer room), west (recreation center) and east. There is an escalator to the south.

A star-shaped symbol is drawn above the escalator.

You can also see an escalator button here.
human
You open the door
gpt
Which do you mean, the escalator door, the red door or the blue door?
human
You go west
gpt
A small window gives a glance at the stars.

You can also see an air duct (empty) here.
human
You enter the vent
gpt
You crawl through the air duct.

This has to be the kitchen. It seems they had to cut the budget, the only kitchen equipment here is a cabinet with a microwave on it. And there is a sink with a garden hose for washing the dishes.

There is a yellow door to the southwest.

It smells like laxative here.

You can see a dirty dish and an air vent here.
human
You put the flashlight in the microwave
gpt
You put the nuclear-powered flashlight into the microwave.
human
You close microwave
gpt
You close the microwave.
human
You turn it on
gpt
You switch on the microwave, and directly you see all kinds of strange flashes and some lasers frying its contents. Yes, lasers. This microwave uses lasers instead of microwaves. Actually, then you should call it a... err... laser. But that's pretty confusing, so you'll just keep it on microwave.

PING! While you were thinking how to call a microwave that uses lasers, it was already finished. You wish you had a laser microwave.
human
You open the microwave
gpt
You open the microwave.
human
You put the lamp in the microwave
gpt
You put the lava lamp into the microwave.
human
You turn it on
gpt
You close the microwave.

You switch on the microwave, and directly you see all kinds of strange flashes and some lasers frying its contents. Yes, lasers. This microwave uses lasers instead of microwaves. Actually, then you should call it a... err... laser. But that's pretty confusing, so you'll just keep it on microwave.

PING! While you were thinking how to call a microwave that uses lasers, it was already finished. You wish you had a laser microwave.
human
You get the lamp
gpt
You open the microwave.

Taken.
human
You enter the vent
gpt
You climb all the way back.

This has to be room where the aliens come to relax. Calm elevator music comes from an invisible speaker. The exit is to the east.

There is a blue sofa in front of a television here. Next to it is a small table.

A small window gives a glance at the stars.

You can also see an air duct (empty) here.
human
Go east
gpt
A star-shaped symbol is drawn above the escalator.

You can also see an escalator button here.
human
You go west
gpt
A small window gives a glance at the stars.

You can also see an air duct (empty) here.
human
You enter the vent
gpt
You crawl through the air duct.

This has to be the kitchen. It seems they had to cut the budget, the only kitchen equipment here is a cabinet with a microwave on it. And there is a sink with a garden hose for washing the dishes.

There is a yellow door to the southwest.

It smells like laxative here.

You can see a dirty dish and an air vent here.
human
You put the card in microwave
gpt
You put the red keycard into the microwave.
human
You enter the vent
gpt
You climb all the way back.

This has to be room where the aliens come to relax. Calm elevator music comes from an invisible speaker. The exit is to the east.

There is a blue sofa in front of a television here. Next to it is a small table.

A small window gives a glance at the stars.

You can also see an air duct (empty) here.

The red keycard is warm.
human
Go east
gpt
A star-shaped symbol is drawn above the escalator.

You can also see an escalator button here.
human
You go north
gpt
You can see a map of the galaxy here.
human
Go north
gpt
You can see a console here.
human
Look around
gpt
You are in a room full of lights, machines and monitors. All those machines combined must form the ship's computer: Lucy.

There is a red door to the south.

You can see a console here.
human
You ask Lucy about Prime Commander
gpt
Lucy: Hmm, let's look that up in the Lucyclopedia:

Prime Commander: the highest title captains of military ships can receive. The Prime Commander has full authority over everyone and everything (including the supercomputers) on his ship and can destroy planets, galaxies and universes even without permission of the head of the Great Galactic Army.
human
You ask Lucy about the officers
gpt
Lucy: I'm sorry. I don't know anything about that, and if I do it is probably irrelevent or you asked it incorrectly.
human
You ask Lucy about the ship
gpt
Lucy: Hmm, let's look that up in the Lucyclopedia:

S.S. Blearch: a space ship of the Great Galactic Army designed for collecting primitive barbarian species from different planets so research can be conducted upon them. Because it is equipped with the Warp Speed 2.0 module by default it sometimes is also used for military missions that involve destroying planets, galaxies or universes.

See also: warp speed - great galactic army
human
You ask Lucy about great galactic Army
gpt
Lucy: Hmm, let's look that up in the Lucyclopedia:

Great Galactic Army: an organisation specialized in helping individuals or companies with destroying planets or wiping out civilizations they don't like. They also do scientific research on kidnapped creatures so they can accustom their biological weapons to them.

See also: ss blearch - prime commander
human
You ask Lucy about warp speed
gpt
Lucy: Hmm, let's look that up in the Lucyclopedia:

Warp Speed: a unit used to measure velocity (WS). One warp speed equals 2000 light years per minute. Warp Speed Modules allow ships to travel up to 2 WS. In order to achieve this manufacturers of Warp Speed Modules had to travel back in time and make Albert Einstein rewrite his theory of relativity.

See also: ss blearch
human
You look around
gpt
This has to be the kitchen. It seems they had to cut the budget, the only kitchen equipment here is a cabinet with a microwave on it. And there is a sink with a garden hose for washing the dishes.

There is a yellow door to the southwest.

It smells like laxative here.

You can see a dirty dish and an air vent here.

The red keycard is warm.
human
You open yellow door
gpt
It works! The southwestern door detects the red card and slides open.
human
Go southwest
gpt
There is a coolbox behind the counter.

You can also see a vending machine here.

Behind you, the door closes automatically.
human
You put the Keycard in the coolbox
gpt
You put the red keycard into the coolbox.
human
You close coolbox
gpt
You close the coolbox.
human
You go to the northeast
gpt
You walk and suddenly feel a sudden sensation of pain. The reason of this might be that there is a closed door in your path and you just blindly walked against it. You should remember that, the next time you go through a door, you should open it first.

The red keycard is icy.
human
You go to the east
gpt
You can't go that way.

The red keycard is cold.
human
You go to the west
gpt
Next to the escalator door, there is an empty socket.
human
You open the yellow door
gpt
It works! The northeastern door detects the red card and slides open.

The red keycard is icy.
human
You put the Keycard in the box
gpt
You put the red keycard into the coolbox.

The red keycard is cold.
human
You go to the north-east
gpt
You can see a dirty dish and an air vent here.

Behind you, the door closes automatically.

The red keycard is icy.
human
You enter the vent
gpt
You climb all the way back.

This has to be room where the aliens come to relax. Calm elevator music comes from an invisible speaker. The exit is to the east.

There is a blue sofa in front of a television here. Next to it is a small table.

A small window gives a glance at the stars.

You can also see an air duct (empty) here.

The red keycard is cold.
human
Inventory
gpt
You are carrying:
a red keycard
a lava lamp
a nuclear-powered flashlight
a detergent
a mop
a stapler
a cork
a remote control
fifty-one dirty dishes
a pan
a screwdriver
human
You go west
gpt
You're now standing IN the engine. All kinds of stuff is happening around you but you don't care. You can continue to the west or back off to the east.

For some reason, there is a power outlet on the ceiling.
human
You examine the outlet
gpt
Strange place for a power outlet. It's just out of reach.
human
You go to the west
gpt
You try to move, but your legs don't do anything. You try again, but to no avail.

Lucy: Research subject 848930, please return to the computer room as fast as possible. Otherwise your battery may run out. A symptom of an almost empty battery is the failure of some of your robot body parts. If this happens, please destroy the universe as fast as possible, since we do not have equipment to recharge you.
human
You jump
gpt
You jump on the spot, fruitlessly.

Suddenly, steam starts bursting out of some pipes.
human
Go outside
gpt
But you aren't in anything at the moment.

Suddenly the steam is no longer bursting out of the pipe, it leaves a small pool of water on the floor in the engine that quickly evaporates because of the high temperature here. If you only could somehow use this steam for something...
human
You look at the detergent
gpt
According to the box this cleaning supply is specifically designed to remove all kinds of grease, slime, paint, bits of laxative and adhesives.
human
You get all
gpt
power outlet: That's fixed in place.
human
You look at the lamp
gpt
You can imagine that a lot of bored aliens have been staring at this thing after a long day at work.
human
You break the lamp
gpt
Violence isn't the answer to this one.

Suddenly, steam starts bursting out of some pipes.
human
You look at the steam
gpt
Just a huge quantity of plain old H2O bursting out of a pipe with an immense force.

Suddenly the steam is no longer bursting out of the pipe, it leaves a small pool of water on the floor in the engine that quickly evaporates because of the high temperature here. If you only could somehow use this steam for something...
human
You wait
gpt
Time passes.

Suddenly, steam starts bursting out of some pipes.
human
You get steam
gpt
That's fixed in place.
human
Drink steam
gpt
There's nothing suitable to drink here.

Suddenly the steam is no longer bursting out of the pipe, it leaves a small pool of water on the floor in the engine that quickly evaporates because of the high temperature here. If you only could somehow use this steam for something...
human
You put the screwdriver in the outlet
gpt
Suddenly, steam starts bursting out of some pipes.
human
You look at what you're carrying with you
gpt
You are carrying:
a red keycard
a lava lamp
a nuclear-powered flashlight
a detergent
a mop
a stapler
a cork
a remote control
fifty-one dirty dishes
a pan
a screwdriver

Suddenly the steam is no longer bursting out of the pipe, it leaves a small pool of water on the floor in the engine that quickly evaporates because of the high temperature here. If you only could somehow use this steam for something...
human
You put the mop in the outlet
gpt
You poke with the mop into the power outlet but nothing happens. Probably because the mop is made of a material that does not conduct electricity.

Suddenly, steam starts bursting out of some pipes.
human
You put the mop in the outlet
gpt
A huge voltage, traveling through the water on the mop, rages through your robot body and immediately recharges your battery. That felt good.
human
Go east
gpt
There is a huge portal to the east.

There is a button next to the escalator door.

You can also see a cleaning cart here.
human
You go west
gpt
Steam is bursting out of the engine.

For some reason, there is a power outlet on the ceiling.
human
Go west
gpt
Somehow you went up in the ship's hold (it seems pretty illogical to you to be only able to acces the hold by going through the engine). There are a few boxes here but it's not very full. You can go back to the east.

You can see a treasure chest (closed) here.
human
Open chest
gpt
The lock is broken, like somebody forced it open.

>You open the chest, but the only things inside are a crowbar and a message scratched in the bottom of the chest.
human
You read the message
gpt
The message says:

I'm sorry, but you are too late. Quite an odd place for a treasure chest, isn't it? Although I have seen stranger places, like underground caves no man has ever been, interdimensional voids or on a bloody cloud.

-The world's greatest treasure hunter
human
You examine the crowbar
gpt
It's a bit rusty.
human
Inventory
gpt
You are carrying:
a crowbar
a wet mop
a red keycard
a lava lamp
a nuclear-powered flashlight
a detergent
a stapler
a cork
a remote control
fifty-one dirty dishes
a pan
a screwdriver
human
Go west
gpt
You can see a treasure chest here.
human
You look around
gpt
Somehow you went up in the ship's hold (it seems pretty illogical to you to be only able to acces the hold by going through the engine). There are a few boxes here but it's not very full. You can go back to the east.
human
You look at the boxes
gpt
They are empty. You should just ignore them.
human
You go east
gpt
Steam is bursting out of the engine.

For some reason, there is a power outlet on the ceiling.

You can also see a treasure chest here.
human
Close chest
gpt
You close the treasure chest.
human
You throw the chest at the outlet
gpt
Futile.
human
Go east
gpt
There is a huge portal to the east.

There is a button next to the escalator door.

You can also see a cleaning cart here.
human
You use the crowbar on the portal
gpt
Nice try, but the doors here are crowbar-proof.
human
You check your inventory
gpt
You are carrying:
a treasure chest (closed)
a crowbar
a wet mop
a red keycard
a lava lamp
a nuclear-powered flashlight
a detergent
a stapler
a cork
a remote control
fifty-one dirty dishes
a pan
a screwdriver
human
You enter the vent
gpt
You crawl through the air duct.

This has to be the kitchen. It seems they had to cut the budget, the
human
Go southwest
gpt
only kitchen equipment here is a cabinet with a microwave on it. And there is a sink with a garden hose for washing the dishes.

There is a yellow door to the southwest.

It smells like laxative here.

You can see a dirty dish and an air vent here.

>You walk and suddenly feel a sudden sensation of pain. The reason of this might be that there is a closed door in your path and you just blindly walked against it. You should remember that, the next time you go through a door, you should open it first.
human
You throw the mop at the floor
gpt
Futile.
human
You check your inventory
gpt
That can't contain things.

>You are carrying:
a red keycard
a treasure chest (closed)
a crowbar
a wet mop
a lava lamp
a nuclear-powered flashlight
a detergent
a stapler
a cork
a remote control
fifty-one dirty dishes
a pan
a screwdriver
human
You examine the dish
gpt
It's a porcelain dish with traces of laxative on it.
human
Go north
gpt
You are carrying:
a red keycard
a treasure chest (closed)
a crowbar
a wet mop
a lava lamp
a nuclear-powered flashlight
a detergent
a stapler
a cork
a remote control
fifty dirty dishes
a pan
a screwdriver

>You set two steps and... err... zap.
human
Look around
gpt
The passage continues to a room to the north. To the south is a junction.

A lethal high voltage is running through the floor to the north.

You can also see a dirty dish here.
human
You sit on the sofa
gpt
You get onto the blue sofa.
human
You change the channel to 3
gpt
You change the channel to number 3.

It's the galactic news. It seems that the conflict between Breiwnquaria and Erwp has gotten worse, the cheese prices have risen and Venus will have some meteor storms next sunday.
human
You change channel to 0
gpt
You change the channel to number 0.

It shows some ants playing football on a snowy field. Oh wait, it's just television noise.
human
You stand
gpt
You get off the blue sofa.

A small window gives a glance at the stars.

You can also see an air duct (empty) here.
human
You look under the sofa
gpt
You find nothing of interest.

>You find nothing of interest.
human
Go east
gpt
A star-shaped symbol is drawn above the escalator.

You can also see an escalator button here.
human
You check your inventory
gpt
You are carrying:
a red keycard
a treasure chest (closed)
a crowbar
a wet mop
a lava lamp
a nuclear-powered flashlight
a detergent
a stapler
a cork
a remote control
fifty dirty dishes
a pan
a screwdriver
human
You go north
gpt
The only interesting thing here is a desk with a typewriter and all kinds of paperwork on it.

There is a fuse box on the wall.
human
You throw the mop at the box
gpt
Futile.
human
You check your inventory
gpt
You are carrying:
a red keycard
a treasure chest (closed)
a crowbar
a wet mop
a lava lamp
a nuclear-powered flashlight
a detergent
a stapler
a cork
a remote control
fifty dirty dishes
a pan
a screwdriver
human
You open the door
gpt
Which do you mean, the red door, the escalator door or the blue door?
human
You look at your surroundings
gpt
This room seems to be some kind of office. You have no idea what kind of work they do here though.

The exit is to the south.

The only interesting thing here is a desk with a typewriter and all kinds of paperwork on it.

There is a fuse box on the wall.
human
Look around
gpt
Another junction. There is a red door to the north (Office), a yellow door to the east and a blue door to the west. To the south is the escalator door.

There is a button next to the escalator door.
human
Go south
gpt
You can see a keypad here.

The door closes.
human
You describe your surroundings
gpt
You are in a hexagonal room. There are three doors here to the north (computer room), west (recreation center) and east. There is an escalator to the south.

A star-shaped symbol is drawn above the escalator.

You can also see an escalator button here.
human
Look around
gpt
This has to be room where the aliens come to relax. Calm elevator music comes from an invisible speaker. The exit is to the east.

There is a blue sofa in front of a television here. Next to it is a small table.

A small window gives a glance at the stars.

You can also see an air duct (empty) here.
human
You get the dish
gpt
(the dirty dish)
Taken.
human
You examine the cabinet
gpt
There is a sticker on it with the symbol of radioactivity.
human
You open the cabinet
gpt
You open the cabinet, revealing salt, pepper, a ketchup bottle, a rotten cheese and Polonium-210.
human
You get all from the cabinet
gpt
salt: Taken.
pepper: Taken.
ketchup bottle: Taken.
rotten cheese: No way! This smells terrible. You're not going to carry this around.
Polonium-210: Taken.
human
You examine the cheese
gpt
Your smelling sensors indicate that this is a perfect enviroment for all sorts of smell-generating bacteria.
human
You put the polonium in the microwave
gpt
You put Polonium-210 into the microwave.
human
You examine the polonium
gpt
It seems that your brains are fully protected against radioactive radiation. Otherwise you would be dead by now.
human
You put it in the flashlight
gpt
Taken.

>This should work.
human
You enter the vent
gpt
You climb all the way back.

This has to be room where the aliens come to relax. Calm elevator music comes from an invisible speaker. The exit is to the east.

There is a blue sofa in front of a television here. Next to it is a small table.

A small window gives a glance at the stars.

You can also see an air duct (empty) here.
human
Go east
gpt
A star-shaped symbol is drawn above the escalator.

You can also see an escalator button here.
human
You enter the vent
gpt
You crawl through the air duct.

This has to be the kitchen. It seems they had to cut the budget, the only kitchen equipment here is a cabinet with a microwave on it. And there is a sink with a garden hose for washing the dishes.

There is a yellow door to the southwest.

It smells like laxative here.

You can see an air vent here.
human
You turn on the flashlight
gpt
The flashlight emits a green-coloured beam. This doesn't look particulary healthy, but it's better than nothing
human
You describe your surroundings
gpt
This has to be the kitchen. It seems they had to cut the budget, the only kitchen equipment here is a cabinet with a microwave on it. And there is a sink with a garden hose for washing the dishes.

There is a yellow door to the southwest.

It smells like laxative here.

You can see an air vent here.
human
You wash the dishes
gpt
No water is coming from the garden hose. Instead, you here a strange sound somewhere below the floor
human
You open it
gpt
You close the microwave.

You switch on the microwave, and directly you see all kinds of strange flashes and some lasers frying its contents. Yes, lasers. This microwave uses lasers instead of microwaves. Actually, then you should call it a... err... laser. But that's pretty confusing, so you'll just keep it on microwave.

PING! While you were thinking how to call a microwave that uses lasers, it was already finished. You wish you had a laser microwave.

The red keycard is glowing.

You open the microwave.

The red keycard is very hot.
human
You look behind the vending machine
gpt
Unfortunately, all grog is sold out. It's still full of prune juice though. Too bad you are all out of quarters.

>I only understood you as far as wanting to look.
human
You go to the west
gpt
Thanks to the flashlight, you see that this room is pretty boring and empty. You have no idea where they use it for. The exit is to the east.

A grue is sleeping in the corner of the room.

You can also see a crate (closed) here.
human
You examine grue
gpt
As you approach the grue, it suddenly opens its eyes. But after looking in your flashlight, it runs away in fear. You make sure that, next time you play Zork, you will take heavy radioactive materials with you in the dark.
human
Examine crate
gpt
It's glued, stapled, taped, screwed and nailed shut.
human
You open crate with the crowbar
gpt
You try, but the lid is secured too tightly. If it was only nailed shut you might have pulled it off...
human
You use the stapler on the crate
gpt
Using the stapler's built-in staple remover, you... well... remove the staples.
human
You use the screwdriver on the crate
gpt
You remove the screws from the crate but then drop them on the floor and can't find them back. You hope you wouldn't have needed them later in the game.
human
You look at the crate
gpt
It's glued, taped, and nailed shut.
human
Inventory
gpt
You are carrying:
a red keycard
a ketchup bottle
pepper
salt
a nuclear-powered flashlight (providing light)
fifty-one dirty dishes
a treasure chest (closed)
a crowbar
a wet mop
a lava lamp
a detergent
a stapler
a cork
a remote control
a pan
a screwdriver
human
You examine the ketchup
gpt
Damn! It's empty. Not that you would be able to eat it as a robot, but if you would get in a situation where you'd have to fake your own dead kethcup would make that much easier.
human
You look at the detergent
gpt
According to the box this cleaning supply is specifically designed to remove all kinds of grease, slime, paint, bits of laxative and adhesives.
human
You use the detergent on the crate
gpt
You pour some of the detergent on the crate and all the glue on the lid turns into bad smelling smoke and floats away.
human
Describe the surroundings
gpt
Thanks to the flashlight, you see that this room is pretty boring and empty. You have no idea where they use it for. The exit is to the east.

You can see a crate (closed) here.
human
You get tape
gpt
You simply pull the tape off the crate. Nasty, there is alien tentacle hair stuck on it.
human
You look in crate
gpt
In the crate is a pair of rubber boots.
human
You go northeast
gpt
You can see an air vent here.

Behind you, the door closes automatically.

The red keycard is cold.
human
You get red
gpt
You close the microwave.

You switch on the microwave, and directly you see all kinds of strange flashes and some lasers frying its contents. Yes, lasers. This microwave uses lasers instead of microwaves. Actually, then you should call it a... err... laser. But that's pretty confusing, so you'll just keep it on microwave.

PING! While you were thinking how to call a microwave that uses lasers, it was already finished. You wish you had a laser microwave.

The red keycard is glowing.

You open the microwave.

The red keycard is very hot.

Taken.

The red keycard is hot.
human
You open the door
gpt
It works! The southwestern door detects the red card and slides open.

The red keycard is warm.
human
Go southwest
gpt
There is a coolbox behind the counter.

You can also see a vending machine here.

Behind you, the door closes automatically.
human
Go west
gpt
Next to the escalator door, there is an empty socket.

You can also see a crate (empty) here.
human
You go to the north
gpt
A lethal high voltage is running through the floor to the north.

You can also see a dirty dish here.
human
You wear the boots
gpt
Not very comfortable and they squeek a bit. But at least you are now clothed.
human
You go north
gpt
*squeek* *squeek*

After walking through many long hallways you encounter a wall blocking your path. You can return to the south.

There is a wallet lying on the floor here.
human
You look at the wallet
gpt
It must have been from one of the aliens.
human
You open the wallet
gpt
You open the wallet, revealing a yellow keycard.
human
Go south
gpt
*squeek* *squeek*

You turn around and see a robot that looks like the alien you saw earlier (with power chords instead of tentacles) that blocks your path.

Robot: Hello sir, I'm the guard robot, also know as the train conductor robot in American English. Can I have your ticket please?
human
You give the yellow card to the robot
gpt
You can only do that to something animate.
human
You look at the robot
gpt
It's an alien-like robot carrying a railway cap. It doesn't look that dangerous, actually.

Guard robot: Sir, your ticket please. If you don't show it right now I'm afraid I have no choice but to exterminate you. But please do not just show a random item in your inventory. I'm not a big fan of such games and it might result in me extreminating you.
human
You check your inventory
gpt
You are carrying:
a yellow keycard
a wallet (open but empty)
a red keycard
a pair of rubber boots (being worn)
an used piece of tape
a ketchup bottle
pepper
salt
a nuclear-powered flashlight (providing light)
fifty-one dirty dishes
a treasure chest (closed)
a crowbar
a wet mop
a lava lamp
a detergent
a stapler
a cork
a remote control
a pan
a screwdriver
human
You show the tape to the robot
gpt
Guard robot: I'm sorry, sir. But this used piece of tape you are showing me does not happen to be a train ticket. Now I come to think of it, we are not on a train at the moment. This means that my existence is useless. I'm sorry for the inconvenience. Activate self-destruction meganism!

The guard robot explodes spectaculary... That was weird.
human
You describe your surroundings
gpt
After walking through many long hallways you encounter a wall blocking your path. You can return to the south.
human
You go to the south
gpt
*squeek* *squeek*

A lethal high voltage is running through the floor to the north.

You can also see a dirty dish here.
human
Go south
gpt
*squeek* *squeek*

Next to the escalator door, there is an empty socket.

You can also see a crate (empty) here.
human
You go to the west
gpt
*squeek* *squeek*
human
You go to the east
gpt
Next to the escalator door, there is an empty socket.

You can also see a crate (empty) here.

>*squeek* *squeek*



There is a coolbox behind the counter.

You can also see a vending machine here.
human
You open yellow door
gpt
You unlock the yellow door.
human
You go northeast
gpt
*squeek* *squeek*

You can see an air vent here.

Behind you, the door closes automatically.
human
Go east
gpt
*squeek* *squeek*

A star-shaped symbol is drawn above the escalator.

You can also see an escalator button here.
human
You open the yellow door
gpt
You open the yellow door.
human
Go southwest
gpt
*squeek* *squeek*



There is a coolbox behind the counter.

You can also see a vending machine here.

Behind you, the door closes automatically.
human
You remove the boots
gpt
You take off the pair of rubber boots.
human
Go northeast
gpt
You can see an air vent here.

Behind you, the door closes automatically.
human
You ask Lucy about the yellow Keycard
gpt
Lucy: Hmm, let's look that up in the Lucyclopedia:

Yellow keycard: a kind of keycard used on this ship. Yellow keycards can open level 2 security doors and are generally given to crew members with the rank of engineer, cook or higher.
human
You show the yellow Keycard to Lucy
gpt
Lucy is unimpressed.
human
You check your inventory
gpt
You are carrying:
a yellow keycard
a wallet (open but empty)
a red keycard
a pair of rubber boots
an used piece of tape
a ketchup bottle
pepper
salt
a nuclear-powered flashlight (providing light)
fifty-one dirty dishes
a treasure chest (closed)
a crowbar
a wet mop
a lava lamp
a detergent
a stapler
a cork
a remote control
a pan
a screwdriver
human
You examine the pan
gpt
A pretty big pan without a lid. Its prime use is for cooking, but it also makes a great helmet if you're planning to shoot yourself out of a cannon.
human
You go to the east
gpt
This is a hallway continueing north. You can go back to the junction south.

You can see a sign and a horrifying tentacle monster here.
human
You examine sign
gpt
It says:

Welcome to the holy catacombs used as a last resting place for our great Prime Commander, which doubles as a maze for entertainment purposes in the summer season. Will you be able to find the Commanders" tomb, the souvernir shop or even get out alive? Try out your exploration skills right here!

Dislaimer: Personal and management of the S.S. Blearch Maze are not responsible for potential injury or death caused by the maze. Enter at own risk.
human
You examine the monster
gpt
It looks just like purple blob that sucked your brains out earlier. Only this one seems not agressive and less eager to plant one of his tentacles in your forehead.
human
You touch the monster
gpt
Keep your hands to yourself!
human
Kiss monster
gpt
Keep your mind on the game.

>Keep your mind on the game.
human
Look around
gpt
This is a hallway continueing north. You can go back to the junction south.

You can see a sign and a purple blob here.
human
You give the red card to the blob
gpt
You can't see any such thing.

>The purple blob doesn't seem interested.
human
You go north
gpt
You are in a maze of twisty little passages, all alike.
human
You drop the dish
gpt
No good idea. You might never find it back.
human
You listen
gpt
You are in a maze of twisty little passages, all alike.

>You hear nothing unexpected.
human
You go east
gpt
This is a hallway continueing north. You can go back to the junction south.

You can see a sign and a purple blob here.
human
You examine sign
gpt
It says:

Welcome to the holy catacombs used as a last resting place for our great Prime Commander, which doubles as a maze for entertainment purposes in the summer season. Will you be able to find the Commanders" tomb, the souvernir shop or even get out alive? Try out your exploration skills right here!

Dislaimer: Personal and management of the S.S. Blearch Maze are not responsible for potential injury or death caused by the maze. Enter at own risk.
human
Wait
gpt
You jump on the spot, fruitlessly.

>Time passes.
human
You ask the blob about Maze
gpt
Alien: I'm horrible at answering questions, could you please use the talk to command instead?
human
You talk to the alien
gpt
Alien: "oh hello, Mr. Robot. Are you lost as well? I have been dwelling through this maze for four and a half year by now, looking for a way to get back to the 3F Junction. My GPS kept pointing towards this direction, but once here I can't seem to decide wheter to go north or south... Anyway, trying to decide which way to go for 4.5 years has made me pretty thirsty. I would suck someone's brains out for a drink, figuratively speaking of course."
human
You talk to Alien
gpt
Alien: "it's nice talking to you but that doesn't make my thirst go away... That was a hint for you to go get me something drinkable. Helping NPC's in need might advance the plot, you know."
human
Look around
gpt
This is a hallway continueing north. You can go back to the junction south.

You can see a sign and a purple blob here.
human
You go south
gpt
Another junction. There is a red door to the north (Office), a yellow door to the east (Maze) and a blue door to the west. To the south is the escalator door.

There is a button next to the escalator door.
human
Go north
gpt
This room seems to be some kind of office. You have no idea what kind of work they do here though.

The exit is to the south.

The only interesting thing here is a desk with a typewriter and all kinds of paperwork on it.

There is a fuse box on the wall.
human
You examine the paperwork
gpt
(even more uninteresting paperwork)
You're not interested.
human
You examine the desk
gpt
There is a typewriter and a lot of uninteresting paperwork on it. It has a drawer.
human
You look in the drawer
gpt
In the drawer is even more uninteresting paperwork.
human
You go west
gpt
You are in a hexagonal room. There are three doors here to the north (computer room), west (recreation center) and east. There is an escalator to the south.

A star-shaped symbol is drawn above the escalator.

You can also see an escalator button here.

This has to be room where the aliens come to relax. Calm elevator music comes from an invisible speaker. The exit is to the east.

There is a blue sofa in front of a television here. Next to it is a small table.

A small window gives a glance at the stars.

You can also see an air duct (empty) here.
human
Go southwest
gpt
This must be the place where the aliens eat. It's a bit small for a canteen that is supposed to support the whole crew of a spaceship because the only things here are one table and a counter. The complete lack of chairs probably means that the aliens always eat standing.

There are eight coffee cups on the counter and one on the table. They all must've been severely addicted to caffeine here.

There is a yellow door leading to the kitchen to the northeast and a red door to the west.

There is a coolbox behind the counter.

You can also see a vending machine here.

Behind you, the door closes automatically.
human
You look at the coolbox
gpt
The label says: "Please close the coolbox as fast as possible after opening to optimalise the instant cooling effect and avoid freezing to death everyone in the presence of the box."

In the coolbox is a can of grog.
human
You get the grog
gpt
It's frozen to the bottom of the box.
human
You examine the vending machine
gpt
Unfortunately, all grog is sold out. It's still full of prune juice though. Too bad you are all out of quarters.
human
You go northeast
gpt
This has to be the kitchen. It seems they had to cut the budget, the only kitchen equipment here is a cabinet with a microwave on it. And there is a sink with a garden hose for washing the dishes.

There is a yellow door to the southwest.

It smells like laxative here.

You can see an air vent here.

Behind you, the door closes automatically.
human
You open yellow
gpt
That's not something you can open.

The red keycard is warm.
human
You check what you're carrying
gpt
You are carrying:
a red keycard
a yellow keycard
a wallet (open but empty)
a pair of rubber boots
an used piece of tape
a ketchup bottle
pepper
salt
a nuclear-powered flashlight (providing light)
fifty-one dirty dishes
a treasure chest (closed)
a crowbar
a wet mop
a lava lamp
a detergent
a stapler
a cork
a remote control
a pan
a screwdriver
human
You look at the salt
gpt
Salty.
human
You put the salt in the coolbox
gpt
You put salt into the coolbox.
human
You open the coolbox
gpt
You open the coolbox, revealing salt and a can of grog.
human
You check what you're carrying
gpt
You are carrying:
salt
a red keycard
a yellow keycard
a wallet (open but empty)
a pair of rubber boots
an used piece of tape
a ketchup bottle
pepper
a nuclear-powered flashlight (providing light)
fifty-one dirty dishes
a treasure chest (closed)
a crowbar
a wet mop
a lava lamp
a detergent
a stapler
a cork
a remote control
a pan
a screwdriver
human
You look at the salt
gpt
Salty.
human
You eat the salt
gpt
Because you are a robot, you lack the ability to eat. You have got smelling sensors however.
human
You use the crowbar on vending machine
gpt
You smack it with your crowbar, and a can of prune juice falls in the machine's basket. You pick it up.
human
Go west
gpt
Another hexagonal room. To the east is a red door (leading to the canteen) and to the west a yellow door (leading to the dark room). There is an escalator to the south and you can also go north from here.

Next to the escalator door, there is an empty socket.

You can also see a crate (empty) here.
human
You give the prune juice to the blob
gpt
Alien: "is that for me? Thanks!"

The alien grabs the can with one of his tentacle and inspects the bottle, probably checking if the prune juice contains any traces of laxative. He then throws the whole can in the hole in his "belly", after which you hear some strange sounds that could very well come from its digestive system.

Alien: "Ahh, delicious! Hmm... Excuse me, now I've got to powder my olfactory organ. Sorry I'm a bad NPC and haven't got any kind of reward to repay you."

The alien grabs a device from his pock... err... materialises a device from thin air, looks at its display and quickly moves north. How he moves there? Do I have to explain everything? Use your imagination for once! Damn... Also, the alien speaking English is not a plot hole. He just paid attention at alien school.
human
You go to the north
gpt
You are in a maze of twisty little passages, all alike.

You can see a purple blob here.

You can just see the purple blob going northeast.
human
You go northeast
gpt
You are in a maze of twisty little passages, all alike.

You hear a sound coming from the west.
human
Go west
gpt
You are in a maze of twisty little passages, all alike.

There is some nasty purple goo on the ground before the northwestern exit.
human
Go northwest
gpt
You go northwest, carefully walking around the goo.

You are in a maze of twisty little passages, all alike.
human
Smell
gpt
Yuck. You think the smell is coming from the east.
human
You go to the east
gpt
It seems you ended up in the toilet. If you can even call it that, since all in this claustrofobical small room is one single urinal and a mirror. Apperently the aliens here don't really care about their privacy, since there isn't even a door here! You can exit to the west.

The purple alien is nowhere to be seen.

On the urinal is a GPS device.
human
You get GPS
gpt
You pick up the device but because of the icky alien tentacle slime it's covered in you - of course - drop it in the urinal. That activated some kind of system that automaticaly flushes it...

D? ja vu.

You hear a strange sound coming from the floor under you.
human
You examine the mirror
gpt
Well, well. You certainly are good looking for a robot. You almost wouldn't even want your old body back. Almost.
human
Go west
gpt
You once again traverse the maze. After walking in a random direction three times you end up back at the entrance.

This is a hallway continueing north. You can go back to the junction south.

You can see a sign here.
human
You enter the vent
gpt
You crawl through the air duct.

This has to be the kitchen. It seems they had to cut the budget, the only kitchen equipment here is a cabinet with a microwave on it. And there is a sink with a garden hose for washing the dishes.

There is a yellow door to the southwest.

It smells like laxative here.

There is a gooey puddle on the floor next to the sink.

The GPS is lying in the puddle, covered with goo.

You can also see an air vent here.
human
You get GPS
gpt
No. Way.

No really, it's covered in that purple slime, you're not going to touch that.

No really, you're not.

Okay, okay. But it's not my fault if touching it kills you...

Taken.
human
You examine GPS
gpt
According to the display, it can't get a signal here. That's logical, since you're not on earth or in the maze it apperantly works in as well.

The GPS device is currently switched on.
human
Go east
gpt
This is a hallway continueing north. You can go back to the junction south.

You can see a sign here.
human
You go to the north
gpt
Suddenly the GPS activates automatically. You follow its directions and end up in the...

It seems you ended up in the toilet. If you can even call it that, since all in this claustrofobical small room is one single urinal and a mirror. Apperently the aliens here don't really care about their privacy, since there isn't even a door here! You can exit to the west.

The purple alien is nowhere to be seen.

Hmm... This wasn't really what you wanted.
human
You examine GPS
gpt
According to the display, it can't get a signal here. That's logical, since you're not on earth or in the maze it apperantly works in as well.

The GPS device is currently switched on.
human
Go west
gpt
Once again you follow the device's instructions untill you find yourself in the...

You have finally found the middle of the maze. It's a small catacomb centered around an important looking coffin in the middle of it. There are exits in all directions.

A giant portrait is hanging above the coffin.

You can see some kind of pedestal next to the coffin.
human
You look at the portrait
gpt
It shows a tentacle monster. Only this one has a crown on his "head" and familiar-looking green hands on the tops of his tentacles.
human
You examine the coffin
gpt
Nice coffin, you wish you had one.
human
You look at the pedestal
gpt
Something is written on it:

WHO READS THIS IS A N00B!!

For a good time: call 0573924512

It seems something is written under all this graffiti, but you can't make out what. Damn vandals.
human
You use detergent on the pedestal
gpt
They say graffiti is the poetry of our time. You disagree.
human
You look at the pedestal
gpt
Something is written on it:

The coffin of the great Prime Commander can only be opened when the great magical key, stolen from a far away planet (filled with a nasty oxygen-atmosphere and lots of dihydrogen monoxide) in the milky way galaxy in the 1970"s, is placed upon this pedestal and lets its beautifull red light fall upon the remains of our Great Leader.

Actually, you liked the graffiti better.
human
You put the lamp on the pedestal
gpt
After placing the lava lamp on the pedestal, you hear a click and the coffin opens slowly. Luckily no mummy is coming out.
human
You look in the coffin
gpt
In the coffin are a blue keycard and a purple dust.
human
You get the blue Keycard
gpt
You pick up the keycard. With this you will probably be able to get your body back, return to earth and kick some supercomputer ass. Alhtough, it's still chapter 2, so there might be some more puzzles left... But you're close! Very, very close.
human
You examine the purple
gpt
Looks like the remains of the Prime Commander. Even he was no match for some laxative.
human
You go north
gpt
You look at the display of your GPS and can just see a "battery low" message before the screen goes blank. Having forgotten where the hell you even came from, you decide to go north.

Dear diary,

I've been wandering around this maze for hours now. I just met that alien guy again and he was so happy with me returning his GPS he gave me this empty logbook and a pen. Anyway, today was quite extraordinary:

You see, I woke up this morning in the spaceship of some kind of intelligent extraterrestial life form. I was locked up in a cell but luckily I used my wits to get one of them to open the door. He tried to attack me but I used my amazing martial arts skills to kick his, and his 500 friends', ass. Unfortunately one of them snuck on me from behind and sucked my brains out. Some kind of evil computer then decided to kill me if I didn't answer its extremely complicated riddle right...

Of course, thanks to my amazing mathematical skills, I did, and after a weird mushroom trip I got my brains planted in this awesome killer robot. This led to an epic fight of me versus an even larger laser-armed gigantic killing machine I easily beat using only a rusty crowbar and a radioactive flashlight.

Oh wait, I think I can see the exit over there. I sometimes have the idea that no matter where I go, I always end up there anyway.

Yours sincerely,

Chapter 3 - Baking a Cake
Maze entrance
This is a hallway continueing north. You can go back to the junction south.

You can see a sign here.
human
You go south
gpt
Another junction. There is a red door to the north (Office), a yellow door to the east (Maze) and a blue door to the west. To the south is the escalator door.

There is a button next to the escalator door.
human
You unlock the blue door
gpt
What do you want to unlock the blue door with?
human
You open the blue door
gpt
You unlock the blue door.
human
You go to the west
gpt
North of you is an important looking door that probably leads to an important room. A terminal is beside it. The exit is to the east.
human
You examine terminal
gpt
It has a slot for a keycard. The display says "Please insert a blue keycard".
human
You put the blue Keycard in the slot
gpt
You insert the blue keycard in the card slot.

Now the display says "Please place your hand or tentacle on the terminal so your identity can be confirmed with a DNA check".
human
You check your inventory
gpt
You are carrying:
a pen
a diary
a blue keycard
salt
a red keycard
a yellow keycard
a wallet (open but empty)
a pair of rubber boots
an used piece of tape
a ketchup bottle
pepper
a nuclear-powered flashlight (providing light)
fifty-one dirty dishes
a treasure chest (closed)
a crowbar
a wet mop
a detergent
a stapler
a cork
a remote control
a pan
a screwdriver
human
You go east
gpt
Another junction. There is a red door to the north (Office), a yellow door to the east (Maze) and a blue door to the west (3F Passage). To the south is the escalator door.

There is a button next to the escalator door.
human
Go east
gpt
Wow, this place is full of bleeping machines, bubbling potions and warnings for explosive compunds. Upon closer inspection you see that most of the stuff here is fake and just used to give the lab a proper atmosphere. The only interesting things are on a table in the center of the room. There is a passage to the north and an exit to the west.

On the table are a pipette, a broken empty flask, a yellow potion, a blue potion, an Agotron (closed) and an electromagnet.

You can also see a washbasin here.
human
You examine the pipette
gpt
You use this to suck up a small amount of a liquid. There is nothing in it.
human
You examine flask
gpt
The label says it is supposed to contain red tetra-X-ide.
human
You examine the yellow potion
gpt
The label says it contains yellow tetra-X-ide.
human
You examine the blue potion
gpt
The label says it contains blue tetra-X-ide.
human
You examine Agotron
gpt
It's an Agotron v 2.0.0.5 (TM). According to the lable time flies 10.000 times as fast in the machine when it's closed. A great way for quickly hatching eggs, you guess.
human
You examine electromagnet
gpt
It looks like a battery-powered electromagnet. It's currently turned off.
human
You examine the washbasin
gpt
This is probably where they throw away chemicals in, you can empty your pipette in this.
human
Go north
gpt
You have no idea what this room was used for, and you really don't care. You're standing in front of a huge window. The exit is south.

Behind the window you can see a dead or at least unconsious human body hanging from a metal wire planted in the top of its head. Wait a second... That is your body!

There is some kind of basket on the other side of the window.

Under the window there are three buttons: a yellow button (with a smiley face on it), a red button (with a skull on it) and a green button (with a dollar sign on it).
human
You examine the body
gpt
Except from the dumb brainless look on your face, you look pretty handsome. Now you only have to find a way to transfer your brain back.
human
You get the plastic
gpt
Looking at it almost makes you throw up.

Taken.
human
You examine it
gpt
Looking at it almost makes you throw up.
human
You wash it
gpt
How are you supposed to do that?
human
You open the bag
gpt
As long as you haven't got a very good reason to do so... no way!
human
You look in the bag
gpt
In the plastic bag is a green severed hand.
human
You go west
gpt
You are in a hexagonal room. There are three doors here to the north (computer room), west (recreation center) and east (laboratory). There is an escalator to the south.

A star-shaped symbol is drawn above the escalator.

You can also see an escalator button here.
human
You go to the west
gpt
North of you is an important looking door that probably leads to an important room. A terminal is beside it. The exit is to the east.
human
You examine the hand
gpt
Yuck.
human
You put the bag on the terminal
gpt
You hear a bleep while the green hand is being scanned.

The display says "Good day, great Prime Commander. Please let a second high ranking officer insert his blue keycard in the card slot. Our excuses for the inconvenience, but this safety regulation is required in case you go insane and do something like go to planet earth, beam yourself down there and blow up this ship".
human
You examine terminal
gpt
The display says "Good day, great Prime Commander. Please let a second high ranking officer insert his blue keycard in the card slot. Our excuses for the inconvenience, but this safety regulation is required in case you go insane and do something like go to planet earth, beam yourself down there and blow up this ship".
human
You check what you're carrying
gpt
You are carrying:
a plastic bag
a green severed hand
a pen
a diary
salt
a red keycard
a yellow keycard
a wallet (open but empty)
a pair of rubber boots
an used piece of tape
a ketchup bottle
pepper
a nuclear-powered flashlight (providing light)
fifty-one dirty dishes
a treasure chest (closed)
a crowbar
a wet mop
a detergent
a stapler
a cork
a remote control
a pan
a screwdriver
human
You go east
gpt
Wait! You forgot your blue keycard. You go back to the terminal and after pressing some random buttons and punching it a few times you manage to reset it and get your keycard back.

Another junction. There is a red door to the north (Office), a yellow door to the east (Maze) and a blue door to the west (3F Passage). To the south is the escalator door.

There is a button next to the escalator door.
human
Go west
gpt
This has to be room where the aliens come to relax. Calm elevator music comes from an invisible speaker. The exit is to the east.

There is a blue sofa in front of a television here. Next to it is a small table.

A small window gives a glance at the stars.

You can also see an air duct (empty) here.
human
You enter the vent
gpt
You crawl through the air duct.

This has to be the kitchen. It seems they had to cut the budget, the only kitchen equipment here is a cabinet with a microwave on it. And there is a sink with a garden hose for washing the dishes.

There is a yellow door to the southwest.

It smells like laxative here.

There is a gooey puddle on the floor next to the sink.

You can also see an air vent here.
human
You go west
gpt
Thanks to the flashlight, you see that this room is pretty boring and empty. You have no idea where they use it for. The exit is to the east.
human
Go northeast
gpt
This has to be the kitchen. It seems they had to cut the budget, the only kitchen equipment here is a cabinet with a microwave on it. And there is a sink with a garden hose for washing the dishes.

There is a yellow door to the southwest.

It smells like laxative here.

There is a gooey puddle on the floor next to the sink.

You can also see an air vent here.

Behind you, the door closes automatically.
human
You open Agotron
gpt
You open the Agotron.
human
Inventory
gpt
You are carrying:
a blue keycard
a plastic bag
a green severed hand
a pen
a diary
salt
a red keycard
a yellow keycard
a wallet (open but empty)
a pair of rubber boots
an used piece of tape
a ketchup bottle
pepper
a nuclear-powered flashlight (providing light)
fifty-one dirty dishes
a treasure chest (closed)
a crowbar
a wet mop
a detergent
a stapler
a cork
a remote control
a pan
a screwdriver
human
You change the channel to 4
gpt
You change the channel to number 4.

Still the same boring arrow, pointing at the air duct.
human
Go east
gpt
Wow, this place is full of bleeping machines, bubbling potions and warnings for explosive compunds. Upon closer inspection you see that most of the stuff here is fake and just used to give the lab a proper atmosphere. The only interesting things are on a table in the center of the room. There is a passage to the north and an exit to the west.

On the table are a pipette, a broken empty flask, a yellow potion, a blue potion, an Agotron (empty) and an electromagnet.

You can also see a washbasin here.
human
You examine the pipette
gpt
You use this to suck up a small amount of a liquid. There is nothing in it.
human
You use the pipette on the blue potion
gpt
You suck up some of the blue potion.
human
You use the pipette on the yellow potion
gpt
You suck up some of the yellow potion.
human
You look at the pipette
gpt
You use this to suck up a small amount of a liquid. There is some green substance in it
human
Empty pipette
gpt
What do you want to empty the pipette in?
human
You use the pipette on the washbasin
gpt
You empty the pipette in the washbasin. In this spaceship you probably don't have to worry much about polluting the enviroment.
human
Inventory
gpt
You are carrying:
a blue keycard
a plastic bag
a green severed hand
a pen
a diary
salt
a red keycard
a yellow keycard
a wallet (open but empty)
a pair of rubber boots
an used piece of tape
a ketchup bottle
pepper
a nuclear-powered flashlight (providing light)
fifty-one dirty dishes
a treasure chest (closed)
a crowbar
a wet mop
a detergent
a stapler
a cork
a remote control
a pan
a screwdriver
human
You go north
gpt
You have no idea what this room was used for, and you really don't care. You're standing in front of a huge window. The exit is south.

Behind the window you can see a dead or at least unconsious human body hanging from a metal wire planted in the top of its head. Wait a second... That is your body!

There is some kind of basket here.

Under the window there are three buttons: a yellow button (with a smiley face on it), a red button (with a skull on it) and a green button (with a dollar sign on it).
human
You examine the body
gpt
Except from the dumb brainless look on your face, you look pretty handsome. Now you only have to find a way to transfer your brain back.
human
You get the yellow and blue potion
gpt
yellow keycard: You already have that.
blue potion: You try to lift the flask, but it is molten to the table.
human
You get Agotron
gpt
That's fixed in place.
human
Look around
gpt
Wow, this place is full of bleeping machines, bubbling potions and warnings for explosive compunds. Upon closer inspection you see that most of the stuff here is fake and just used to give the lab a proper atmosphere. The only interesting things are on a table in the center of the room. There is a passage to the north and an exit to the west.

On the table are a broken empty flask, a yellow potion, a blue potion and an Agotron (empty).

You can also see a washbasin here.
human
You get the empty flask
gpt
What use could this thing possibly have?
human
You examine the puddle
gpt
It's still gross.
human
You use the pipette on the wine
gpt
You suck up some of the wine.
human
You look at the pipette
gpt
You use this to suck up a small amount of a liquid. There is some brown substance in it
human
Go west
gpt
You are in a hexagonal room. There are three doors here to the north (computer room), west (recreation center) and east (laboratory). There is an escalator to the south.

A star-shaped symbol is drawn above the escalator.

You can also see an escalator button here.

This has to be room where the aliens come to relax. Calm elevator music comes from an invisible speaker. The exit is to the east.

There is a blue sofa in front of a television here. Next to it is a small table.

A small window gives a glance at the stars.

You can also see an air duct (empty) here.
human
You examine the pipette
gpt
You use this to suck up a small amount of a liquid. There is some red wine in it
human
Inventory
gpt
You are carrying:
an electromagnet
a pipette (red wine)
a blue keycard
a plastic bag
a green severed hand
a pen
a diary
salt
a red keycard
a yellow keycard
a wallet (open but empty)
a pair of rubber boots
an used piece of tape
a ketchup bottle
pepper
a nuclear-powered flashlight (providing light)
fifty-one dirty dishes
a treasure chest (closed)
a crowbar
a wet mop
a detergent
a stapler
a cork
a remote control
a pan
a screwdriver
human
You put the bag in Agotron
gpt
You put the plastic bag into the Agotron.
human
Close Agotron
gpt
You close the Agotron.
human
You open Agotron
gpt
You open the Agotron, revealing a plastic bag.
human
Inventory
gpt
You are carrying:
a plastic bag
a green severed hand
an electromagnet
a pipette (red wine)
a blue keycard
a pen
a diary
salt
a red keycard
a yellow keycard
a wallet (open but empty)
a pair of rubber boots
an used piece of tape
a ketchup bottle
pepper
a nuclear-powered flashlight (providing light)
fifty-one dirty dishes
a treasure chest (closed)
a crowbar
a wet mop
a detergent
a stapler
a cork
a remote control
a pan
a screwdriver
human
You examine the ketchup
gpt
Damn! It's empty. Not that you would be able to eat it as a robot, but if you would get in a situation where you'd have to fake your own dead kethcup would make that much easier.
human
You look at pepper
gpt
Piper nigrum. Or just black pepper, my favorite kind of pepper.
human
You examine the dishes
gpt
It's a porcelain dish with traces of laxative on it.
human
You put dishes in Agotron
gpt
You put the dirty dish into the Agotron.
human
Close Agotron
gpt
You close the Agotron.
human
You open Agotron
gpt
You open the Agotron, revealing a dirty dish.
human
You get the dish
gpt
(the dirty dish)
Taken.
human
You examine the dish
gpt
It's a porcelain dish with traces of laxative on it.
human
You check your inventory
gpt
You are carrying:
fifty-one dirty dishes
a plastic bag
a green severed hand
an electromagnet
a pipette (red wine)
a blue keycard
a pen
a diary
salt
a red keycard
a yellow keycard
a wallet (open but empty)
a pair of rubber boots
an used piece of tape
a ketchup bottle
pepper
a nuclear-powered flashlight (providing light)
a treasure chest (closed)
a crowbar
a wet mop
a detergent
a stapler
a cork
a remote control
a pan
a screwdriver
human
You look at the flashlight
gpt
According to the label it is incompatible with regular AA batteries, but it has got a build-in nuclear reactor that can somehow extract energy from everything emitting radioactive radiation.

The nuclear-powered flashlight is currently switched on.
human
You put the pipette in Agotron
gpt
You put the pipette (red wine) into the Agotron.
human
You open Agotron
gpt
You open the Agotron, revealing a pipette (red wine).
human
You look at what you're carrying with you
gpt
You are carrying:
a pipette (red wine)
fifty-one dirty dishes
a plastic bag
a green severed hand
an electromagnet
a blue keycard
a pen
a diary
salt
a red keycard
a yellow keycard
a wallet (open but empty)
a pair of rubber boots (being worn)
an used piece of tape
a ketchup bottle
pepper
a nuclear-powered flashlight (providing light)
a treasure chest (closed)
a crowbar
a wet mop
a detergent
a stapler
a cork
a remote control
a pan
a screwdriver
human
You examine electromagnet
gpt
It looks like a battery-powered electromagnet. It's currently turned off.
human
You turn it on
gpt
Suddenly your blue keycard flies out of your pocket and is now stuck on the magnet. It seems the keycard is only thing on which the electromagnet is effective.

You switch off the electromagnet and put the blue keycard in your pocket.
human
Go south
gpt
*squeek* *squeek*

Another junction. There is a red door to the north (Office), a yellow door to the east (Maze) and a blue door to the west (3F Passage). To the south is the escalator door.

There is a button next to the escalator door.
human
You check your inventory
gpt
*squeek* *squeek*

North of you is an important looking door that probably leads to an important room. A terminal is beside it. The exit is to the east.

>You are carrying:
a blue keycard
a pipette (red wine)
fifty-one dirty dishes
a plastic bag
a green severed hand
an electromagnet
a pen
a diary
salt
a red keycard
a yellow keycard
a wallet (open but empty)
a pair of rubber boots (being worn)
an used piece of tape
a ketchup bottle
pepper
a nuclear-powered flashlight (providing light)
a treasure chest (closed)
a crowbar
a wet mop
a detergent
a stapler
a cork
a remote control
a pan
a screwdriver
human
You put the Keycard in the slot
gpt
Which do you mean, the blue keycard, the red keycard or the yellow keycard?
human
Blue
gpt
You insert the blue keycard in the card slot.

Now the display says "Please place your hand or tentacle on the terminal so your identity can be confirmed with a DNA check".
human
You turn on the electromagnet
gpt
With the magnet, you easily draw the keycard out of the card slot.

You switch off the electromagnet and put the blue keycard in your pocket.
human
You put the blue Keycard in the slot
gpt
You insert the blue keycard in the card slot again.

Now the display says "Please let the secondary officer place his tentacle upon this terminal.".
human
You put the bag on the terminal
gpt
You hear a bleep while the green hand is being scanned.

The display says "Error, the Prime Commander has already been identified. Please place the tentacle of a second officer on the terminal".
human
You go to the east
gpt
Wait! You forgot your blue keycard. You go back to the terminal and after pressing some random buttons and punching it a few times you manage to reset it and get your keycard back.

*squeek* *squeek*

Another junction. There is a red door to the north (Office), a yellow door to the east (Maze) and a blue door to the west (3F Passage). To the south is the escalator door.

There is a button next to the escalator door.
human
Go east
gpt
*squeek* *squeek*

This is a hallway continueing north. You can go back to the junction south.

You can see a sign here.
human
You go to the north
gpt
*squeek* *squeek*

You are in a maze of twisty little passages, all alike.
human
You go west
gpt
*squeek* *squeek*

North of you is an important looking door that probably leads to an important room. A terminal is beside it. The exit is to the east.
human
You examine diary
gpt
You never like reading your own diary. That just feels weird and ashaming.
human
Go south
gpt
*squeek* *squeek*

You can see a keypad here.

The door closes.
human
You go west
gpt
*squeek* *squeek*

This has to be room where the aliens come to relax. Calm elevator music comes from an invisible speaker. The exit is to the east.

There is a blue sofa in front of a television here. Next to it is a small table.

A small window gives a glance at the stars.

You can also see an air duct (empty) here.
human
You get the puddle
gpt
No.
human
You use the pipette on the puddle
gpt
You suck up some of the blue potion.
human
You examine the pipette
gpt
You use this to suck up a small amount of a liquid. There is some red wine in it
human
Inventory
gpt
You are carrying:
a blue keycard
a pipette (red wine)
fifty-one dirty dishes
a plastic bag
a green severed hand
an electromagnet
a pen
a diary
salt
a red keycard
a yellow keycard
a wallet (open but empty)
a pair of rubber boots (being worn)
an used piece of tape
a ketchup bottle
pepper
a nuclear-powered flashlight (providing light)
a treasure chest (closed)
a crowbar
a wet mop
a detergent
a stapler
a cork
a remote control
a pan
a screwdriver
human
You go east
gpt
You are in a hexagonal room. There are three doors here to the north (computer room), west (recreation center) and east (laboratory). There is an escalator to the south.

A star-shaped symbol is drawn above the escalator.

You can also see an escalator button here.

>*squeek* *squeek*

Wow, this place is full of bleeping machines, bubbling potions and warnings for explosive compunds. Upon closer inspection you see that most of the stuff here is fake and just used to give the lab a proper atmosphere. The only interesting things are on a table in the center of the room. There is a passage to the north and an exit to the west.

On the table are a broken empty flask, a yellow potion, a blue potion and an Agotron (empty).

You can also see a washbasin here.
human
You use the pipette on the washbasin
gpt
You empty the pipette in the washbasin. In this spaceship you probably don't have to worry much about polluting the enviroment.
human
Go west
gpt
*squeek* *squeek*

You are in a hexagonal room. There are three doors here to the north (computer room), west (recreation center) and east (laboratory). There is an escalator to the south.

A star-shaped symbol is drawn above the escalator.

You can also see an escalator button here.

>*squeek* *squeek*

This has to be room where the aliens come to relax. Calm elevator music comes from an invisible speaker. The exit is to the east.

There is a blue sofa in front of a television here. Next to it is a small table.

A small window gives a glance at the stars.

You can also see an air duct (empty) here.
human
You examine pipette
gpt
You use this to suck up a small amount of a liquid. There is some purple substance in it
human
You go to the southwest
gpt
*squeek* *squeek*

You walk and suddenly feel a sudden sensation of pain. The reason of this might be that there is a closed door in your path and you just blindly walked against it. You should remember that, the next time you go through a door, you should open it first.
human
You go to the east
gpt
*squeek* *squeek*

You are in a hexagonal room. There are three doors here to the north (computer room), west (recreation center) and east (laboratory). There is an escalator to the south.

A star-shaped symbol is drawn above the escalator.

You can also see an escalator button here.
human
You look at the door
gpt
Which do you mean, the blue door or the important looking door?
human
You examine terminal
gpt
Now the display says "Please place your hand or tentacle on the terminal so your identity can be confirmed with a DNA check".
human
You put the bag on the terminal
gpt
You hear a bleep while the green hand is being scanned.

The display says "Good day, great Prime Commander. Please let a second high ranking officer insert his blue keycard in the card slot. Our excuses for the inconvenience, but this safety regulation is required in case you go insane and do something like go to planet earth, beam yourself down there and blow up this ship".
human
You turn on the electromagnet
gpt
With the magnet, you easily draw the keycard out of the card slot.

You switch off the electromagnet and put the blue keycard in your pocket.
human
You put the pipette on the terminal
gpt
You put the pipette (purple substance) on the terminal.
human
You go to the east
gpt
Wait! You forgot your blue keycard. You go back to the terminal and after pressing some random buttons and punching it a few times you manage to reset it and get your keycard back.

*squeek* *squeek*

Another junction. There is a red door to the north (Office), a yellow door to the east (Maze) and a blue door to the west (3F Passage). To the south is the escalator door.

There is a button next to the escalator door.
human
You look at tape
gpt
Nasty, there is alien tentacle hair stuck on it.
human
Go west
gpt
North of you is an important looking door that probably leads to an important room. A terminal is beside it. The exit is to the east.

On the terminal is a pipette (purple substance).
human
You turn on the electromagnet
gpt
You insert the blue keycard in the card slot.

Now the display says "Please place your hand or tentacle on the terminal so your identity can be confirmed with a DNA check".

You hear a bleep while the green hand is being scanned.

The display says "Good day, great Prime Commander. Please let a second high ranking officer insert his blue keycard in the card slot. Our excuses for the inconvenience, but this safety regulation is required in case you go insane and do something like go to planet earth, beam yourself down there and blow up this ship".

With the magnet, you easily draw the keycard out of the card slot.

You switch off the electromagnet and put the blue keycard in your pocket.
human
You put the tape on the terminal
gpt
You insert the blue keycard in the card slot again.

Now the display says "Please let the secondary officer place his tentacle upon this terminal.".

You hear a bleep while the tentacle hair on the used duct tape is being scanned.

Voice: Good morning, great and almighty Prime Commander and Mr. Ghrluck Coiibuk. Please enjoy your time in the cockpit.

The door opens.
human
You go north
gpt
Wait! You forgot your blue keycard. You go back to the terminal and after pressing some random buttons and punching it a few times you manage to reset it and get your keycard back.

You are now in the ship's cockpit. There is a nice big window here with a great view on the galaxy. After admiring it for a few seconds you grow bored and look around in the cockpit. There are no chairs here but all kinds of incredibly complicated instruments. Instead of doing anything with those you simply decide to use the board computer with a seemingly simple interface.

Welcome to the S.S. Blearch navigational system network HARRY v.2.0.0.7, which is not in any way connected to main computer 'Lucy'. You have been automatically logged in as mrawes0me4753 and have acces to all functions.

CPU id: HARRY|Status: OK|version mumber: 2.0.0.7

Please select one of the following options:

1. Travel to destination
2. Set new destination
3. Check ship status
4. E-mail
5. Miscellaneous options
6. Shut down
human
4
gpt
:\>
E-mail
1. Inbox (2)

2. Send messages (1)

3. Spam (1)

4. Return to main menu
human
3
gpt
:\>Message 1

From: <unknown>
To: primecommander@ssblearch.gax
Subject: the cake is a lie



1. Inbox (2)

2. Send messages (1)

3. Spam (1)

4. Return to main menu
human
2
gpt
:\>Message 1

From: primecommander@ssblearch.gax
To: subscriptions@dgriorgomagazines.gax
Subject: Subscription cancelation

Dear editorial staff,

Recently, my spies infiltrating the earthly country of Luxembourg have discovered some alarming intel regarding the military strenght of an organisation that calls itself the Luxembourgian Liberation Front: they are easily capable to defeat the whole galactic allience and Great Galactic Army and eventually even take over the universe. In order to stop this huge thread, we Brukgh?rhcs have decided to destroy the universe, so Luxembourg can't conquer it.
Before we blow up all of existance however, I would like to cancel my subscription of the magazine "Gardening on Terraformed Exoplanets", because I will no longer be able to pay for it when we're all dead.

Yours sincerely,
The Prime Commander of the Brukgh?rhcs


1. Inbox (2)

2. Send messages (1)

3. Spam (1)

4. Return to main menu
human
1
gpt
:\>Message 1

From: bob0222@llf.lux
To: primecommander@ssblearch.gax
Subject: Weapon shipments

Prime Commander, the Luxembourgian Liberation Front is currently still waiting for the promised weapon shipments we were supposed to receive in exchange for a decoder that will let you watch our great national television. Some of us are even questioning your loyalty to our holy cause to take over planet Earth and give our glorious nation the power it deserves! Please respond as quickly as possible, so we will not have to declare war on your pathetic alien race.

Viva la r?volution!

From: noreply@dgriorgomagazines.gax
To: primecommander@ssblearch.gax
Subject: Re: Subscription cancelation

Dear customer,

Your request regarding the cacelation of your subscription of the magazine "Gardening on Terraformed Exoplanets" has been received and will be processed in two Hiyucluckian days. Please refrain from destroying the universe before then.

Yours sincerely,



1. Inbox (2)

2. Send messages (1)

3. Spam (1)

4. Return to main menu
human
4
gpt
:\>
Main menu
CPU id: HARRY|Status: OK|version mumber: 2.0.0.7

Please select one of the following options:

1. Travel to destination
2. Set new destination
3. Check ship status
4. E-mail
5. Miscellaneous options
6. Shut down
human
3
gpt
:\>Now performing a full ship status check. This may take a few hours or a few miliseconds, I have no idea.

Checking............

Warp speed module status: OK

Navigational pathfinding systems status: OK

Popcorn machine status: OK

Fuel level: 0%
ERROR: please refill fuel tank.

Ship hull status: ERROR
A perforation in the ship's hull is detected in the fuel tank. Please repair this.

Additional systems status: OK
:\>I beg your pardon?
human
5
gpt
:\>
Miscellaneous options
1. Honk
2. Activate windshield wipers
3. Open/close fuel tank
4. Return to main menu
human
1
gpt
:\>The horn has been activated.

You don't hear anything. This probably has something to do with the fact that there is no sound in space. What idiot thought of putting a horn on a space ship anyway?!

1. Honk
2. Activate windshield wipers
3. Open/close fuel tank
4. Return to main menu
human
2
gpt
:\>Sensors indicate that it currently is not raining. Therefore the initiated windshield wiping alogrithm has been terminated.

One of the major advantages of space: it never rains.

1. Honk
2. Activate windshield wipers
3. Open/close fuel tank
4. Return to main menu
human
3
gpt
:\>The fuel tank has been opened. It can be entered through the enigne room.
human
2
gpt
:\>
Set a destination
Please enter the name of a planet to be the next destination of the S.S. Blearch or enter 0 to exit.
human
Earth
gpt
:\>New destination: Earth
Solar system ID: 19746435x1
Location: Milky Way galaxy
Atmosphere: Oxygen, nitrogen, carbon dioxide and cow farts
Inhabited: yes
Average life form IQ: extremely low
Main menu
CPU id: HARRY|Status: OK|version mumber: 2.0.0.7

Please select one of the following options:

1. Travel to destination
2. Set new destination
3. Check ship status
4. E-mail
5. Miscellaneous options
6. Shut down
human
1
gpt
:\>ERROR: Can not start engines. Please perform a ship status check to find the source of the problem.
human
6
gpt
:\>Thank you for using HARRY 2.0.0.7. We wish you a good day.

North of you is an important looking door that probably leads to an important room. A terminal is beside it. The exit is to the east.
human
You go east
gpt
Another junction. There is a red door to the north (Office), a yellow door to the east (Maze) and a blue door to the west (3F Passage). To the south is the escalator door.

There is a button next to the escalator door.
human
You go east
gpt
This place is pretty empty.

The exit is west.

There is a small hole in the wall.
human
You examine the hole
gpt
You look in the hole and only see the vacuum of space, which is slowly sucking all air out of the fuel tank. The hole has a diameter of about two centimeters. If you only had something to fill up this hole...
human
You put the cork in the hole
gpt
Fixed.
human
Go west
gpt
There are all kinds of pipes, gears, pumps, lights and strange machines around you. They must be powering the ship. You wouldn't expect the engine of a space ship to look like this, it's more steam- than cyberpunk. A walkway continues to the west.

The escalator is to the south.

There is a huge portal to the east.

There is a button next to the escalator door.

You can also see a cleaning cart here.
human
You ask Lucy about fuel
gpt
Lucy: Hmm, let's look that up in the Lucyclopedia:

Cake: the most powerfull type of rocket fuel known. Velocities higher than 1.5 WS (Warp Speed) can only be reached with this. The creation of a cake is a highly sophisticated process that requires many very rare natural (and unnatural) rescources.

See also: cake recipe - warp speed
human
You ask Lucy about the cake recipe
gpt
Lucy: Hmm, let's look that up in the Lucyclopedia:

Cake recipe: there are only very few beings in existence that know about this extremely well-kept secret. These beings include the host of the tv show 'Cooking on Bgryurgti?rk' and the few people that actually watch that boring crap.

See also: cake
human
You change the channel to 2
gpt
You change the channel to number 2.

It's some kind of alien cooking show:

"Hello ladies, gentleman and creatures without or with two genders. Welcome to cooking on Bgryurgti?rk, where we somehow speak English. Today we are going to bake a cake. The required ingredients for this..."

You quickly rip out a page out of your diary and write down the recipe:

How to make a cake:

Ingredients:
-Porcelain
-A drop of red wine
-Some orange tetra-x-ide
-Some detergent
-Iron oxide
-A few alien hairs
-Rubber
-A piece of lead
-The bone of a homo sapiens
-Some salt and pepper
-51 grams of laxative

-Put everything in a pan and stir.
-Microwave for 10 minutes (or 3 seconds with laser enabled super microwaves) and it's done.

WARNING: Do not, under any condition, add any additional water.

You wonder wheter your grandma made them this way as well.
human
You put the flashlight in Agotron
gpt
You put the nuclear-powered flashlight into the Agotron.
human
You open Agotron
gpt
You open the Agotron, revealing a nuclear-powered flashlight.
human
You look at the flashlight
gpt
According to the label it is incompatible with regular AA batteries, but it has got a build-in nuclear reactor that can somehow extract energy from everything emitting radioactive radiation.

The nuclear-powered flashlight is currently switched on.
human
You open flashlight
gpt
You remove the polonium from the flashlight.
human
You put it in Agotron
gpt
You put Polonium-210 into the Agotron.
human
Close Agotron
gpt
You close the Agotron.
human
You open Agotron
gpt
You open the Agotron, revealing a piece of lead.
human
You look at the basket
gpt
In the basket is a ham.
human
You examine the ham
gpt
Holy. Crap.
human
You enter the vent
gpt
You crawl through the air duct.

This has to be the kitchen. It seems they had to cut the budget, the only kitchen equipment here is a cabinet with a microwave on it. And there is a sink with a garden hose for washing the dishes.

There is a yellow door to the southwest.

It smells like laxative here.

There is a gooey puddle on the floor next to the sink.

You can also see an air vent here.

Behind you, the door closes automatically.
human
You examine the pipette
gpt
You use this to suck up a small amount of a liquid. There is some orange substance in it
human
You use the pipette on the pan
gpt
You better put the pan down somewhere first.
human
You look at your surroundings
gpt
This must be the place where the aliens eat. It's a bit small for a canteen that is supposed to support the whole crew of a spaceship because the only things here are one table and a counter. The complete lack of chairs probably means that the aliens always eat standing.

There are eight coffee cups on the counter and one on the table. They all must've been severely addicted to caffeine here.

There is a yellow door leading to the kitchen to the northeast and a red door to the west.

There is a coolbox behind the counter.

You can also see a pan and a vending machine here.
human
You put the ham in Agotron
gpt
You put the ham into the Agotron.
human
Close Agotron
gpt
You close the Agotron.
human
You open Agotron
gpt
After opening the agotron you immediately reek the smell of rotting meat and see a bunch of maggots still enjoying their meal. You quickly close the agotron.
human
You open Agotron
gpt
You open the Agotron, revealing a bone.
human
You examine the bone
gpt
This is all that's left of your body...
human
You go to the south-west
gpt
This must be the place where the aliens eat. It's a bit small for a canteen that is supposed to support the whole crew of a spaceship because the only things here are one table and a counter. The complete lack of chairs probably means that the aliens always eat standing.

There are eight coffee cups on the counter and one on the table. They all must've been severely addicted to caffeine here.

There is a yellow door leading to the kitchen to the northeast and a red door to the west.

There is a coolbox behind the counter.

You can also see a pan and a vending machine here.

Behind you, the door closes automatically.
human
You check what you're carrying
gpt
You are carrying:
a bone
a piece of lead
a nuclear-powered flashlight
a cake recipe
a blue keycard
a pipette (orange substance)
fifty-one dirty dishes
a plastic bag
a green severed hand
an electromagnet
a pen
a diary
salt
a red keycard
a yellow keycard
a wallet (open but empty)
a pair of rubber boots
an used piece of tape
a ketchup bottle
pepper
a treasure chest (closed)
a crowbar
a wet mop
a detergent
a stapler
a remote control
a screwdriver
human
You check what you're carrying
gpt
You are carrying:
a piece of lead
a nuclear-powered flashlight
a cake recipe
a blue keycard
a pipette (purple substance)
fifty-one dirty dishes
a plastic bag
a green severed hand
an electromagnet
a pen
a diary
salt
a red keycard
a yellow keycard
a wallet (open but empty)
a pair of rubber boots
an used piece of tape
a ketchup bottle
pepper
a treasure chest (closed)
a crowbar
a wet mop
a detergent
a stapler
a remote control
a pan
a screwdriver
human
You put the crowbar in the pan
gpt
Iron oxide, in other words rust, is on the list. Still, you doubt this crowbar is rusty enough, and it will probably take a lot of time before that is the case.
human
You put the crowbar in Agotron
gpt
You put the crowbar into the Agotron.
human
You open Agotron
gpt
Al that's left of the crowbar is a pile of dust.

You open the Agotron, revealing a pile of rust.
human
You put the rust in the pan
gpt
You add the rust to the mixture. You will miss that poor rusty crowbar.
human
You put detergent in pan
gpt
You throw in all of the detergent. Damn, you really don't want to eat that cake.
human
You put the tape in the pan
gpt
You scrape off the icky alien hairs from the tape and add them to the mixture. You also throw the now completely useless piece of tape away.
human
You examine the pan
gpt
A pretty big pan without a lid. Its prime use is for cooking, but it also makes a great helmet if you're planning to shoot yourself out of a cannon.

There are some cake ingredients in it.
human
You put the lead in the pan
gpt
Added.
human
You put the bone in the pan
gpt
No way, you might still need that bone to rescurrect yourself with some kind of strange voodoo ritual.

...on the other hand, having to face a zombiefied version of yourself is not a very attractive prospect. You'll add the bone anyway.
human
You put the salt in the pan
gpt
You add some salt, after which it magically disappears from your inventory.
human
You put the pepper in the pan
gpt
Even though it will proably ruin the cake's taste, you'll add it anyway.
human
You use the pipette on the pan
gpt
You empty the pipette in the pan. You hope the fact that the orange tetra-x-ide is distilled with wine won't result in an explosion later.
human
You use the pipette on the wine
gpt
You suck up some of the wine.
human
You use the pipette on the pan
gpt
You add one drop of wine to the mixture in the pan.
human
You put the pan in microwave
gpt
You put the pan into the microwave.
human
You drop an
gpt
What do you want to drop the dirty dish at?
human
You put the dish in the pan
gpt
On average, there is about one gram of laxative on every dish. So you'll add 51 dirty dishes to the mixture.

Well, you added all ingredients and now you've got a pan full of garbage. According to the recipe you'll now have to stir this with something.
human
You check what you're carrying
gpt
You are carrying:
a pan
a dirty dish
a nuclear-powered flashlight
a cake recipe
a blue keycard
a pipette (red wine)
a plastic bag
a green severed hand
an electromagnet
a pen
a diary
a red keycard
a yellow keycard
a wallet (open but empty)
a ketchup bottle
a treasure chest (closed)
a wet mop
a stapler
a remote control
a screwdriver
human
You use the mop on the pan
gpt
You can stir the mixture with this. The only problem is that the mop is still wet and you're not supposed to add any extra water. Maybe you need to somehow dry the mop first...

Ah well, it probably won't matter. You put the other end of the mop in the pan and...
human
You look around
gpt
The passage continues to a room to the north. To the south is a junction.

A lethal high voltage is running through the floor to the north.
human
You put the mop in microwave
gpt
You put the wet mop into the microwave.
human
You put the mop in Agotron
gpt
You put the wet mop into the Agotron.
human
You open Agotron
gpt
You open the Agotron, revealing a mop.
human
You use the mop on the pan
gpt
You stir the stuff in the pan. It still lookes like a pile of random garbage though... Anyway, time for the last step.
human
You turn it on
gpt
You close the microwave.

After turning on the microwave the pan starts emitting a stange and dangerous looking glow. Suddenly the microwave window cracks and you duck to take cover. Just in time, because an explosion causes the microwave to shatter in many pieces. When you stand up the microwave is no more, in its place is a huge birthday cake with cream, strawberries and even little candles. What an odd kind of rocket fuel.
human
You look at the cake
gpt
A lovely cream-cake. If you weren't a robot and didn't know how these things are made you would definately eat it.
human
You eat the cake
gpt
You'd almost want to.
human
You drop the cake
gpt
You place the cake in the middle of the tank. You hope this will work
human
You go north
gpt
You are now in the ship's cockpit. There is a nice big window here with a great view on the galaxy. After admiring it for a few seconds you grow bored and look around in the cockpit. There are no chairs here but all kinds of incredibly complicated instruments. Instead of doing anything with those you simply decide to use the board computer with a seemingly simple interface.

Welcome to the S.S. Blearch navigational system network HARRY v.2.0.0.7, which is not in any way connected to main computer 'Lucy'. You have been automatically logged in as mrawes0me4753 and have acces to all functions.

CPU id: HARRY|Status: OK|version mumber: 2.0.0.7

Please select one of the following options:

1. Travel to destination
2. Set new destination
3. Check ship status
4. E-mail
5. Miscellaneous options
6. Shut down
human
1
gpt
:\>ERROR: Can not start engines. Please perform a ship status check to find the source of the problem.
human
3
gpt
:\>The fuel tank has been closed.
human
1
gpt
:\>All systems are reasy to embark on a voyage to Milky Way galaxy, planet Earth. Estimated travel time: 2 hours. Please inform all passengers to fasten their seat belts and press the space bar to go.

Immediately after you press the space bar, the screen goes blank. A few seconds later all lights go out as well.

This doesn't look very good...

It is now pitch dark in here!

It is pitch dark, and you can't see a thing.
human
You look
gpt
:\>Darkness
It is pitch dark, and you can't see a thing.
human
You think
gpt
What a good idea.
human
Inventory
gpt
You are carrying:
a mop
a dirty dish
a nuclear-powered flashlight
a blue keycard
a pipette (red wine)
a plastic bag
a green severed hand
an electromagnet
a pen
a diary
a red keycard
a yellow keycard
a wallet (open but empty)
a ketchup bottle
a treasure chest (closed)
a stapler
a remote control
a screwdriver
human
You go east
gpt
Time passes.

>You can't go that way.
human
You go south
gpt
It doesn't work. The flashlight is probably out of nuclear energy.

>Ouch, you just bumped against a closed escalator door.
human
You go east
gpt
This is a hallway continueing north. You can go back to the junction south.

You can see a lantern (providing light), a purple blob and a sign here.
human
You get the lantern
gpt
Alien: "Please don't touch the lantern. I still need it.
human
You talk to Alien
gpt
Alien: "Hey, it's you again! You're still up late. Anyway, do you happen to have some food with you? I'm getting quite hungry and because the lights are out I can't just live off photosynthesis anymore. Have you got anything to eat?"
human
You give the dish to Alien
gpt
Alien: "Is that all? What happened to the generous soda giving you? No, no. Don't take it back. I'll eat it already."

The blob uses the hole in his body to swallow the whole plate.

Alien: "Hmm, this tastes odd. It's a bit like... Ugh, AAAARGHH!!"

In a few seconds, nothing is left of the alien. You truly are an awfull sadistic murderer.
human
Go south
gpt
Ouch, you just bumped against a closed escalator door.
human
You open the fuse box
gpt
You open the fuse box and pull the single lever in it. A few seconds later all lights go on again.
human
You go south
gpt
Suddenly the door behind you closes. You see that the two other doors here are suddenly closed as well, but the escalator door is open.

Lucy: I think the two of us need to have a word. Please come to the computer room... NOW!

If this game wasn't text-based, this would be the moment omnious music would start playing.
human
You go north
gpt
You are in a long corridor that continues to the south. North of you is the door back to the computer room.

You can see a map of the galaxy here.
human
Go north
gpt
The door behind you closes immediately.

Lucy: Research subject 848930 and main advisor of the Prime Commander, you have neglected your duties. You also have comitted several crimes: including trespassing in forbidden areas, murder, grave robbing, reading confidential material, indentity theft, disturbance of a Grue, refusal to follow orders to destroy the universe and cooking in a non-hygienic enviroment. You will hereby be immediately executed.

Suddenly a robot arm appears and aims a gun right in your face.

Lucy: This is your final opportunity to press the red button and activate the Universe Destroyer Gun 3000. Because next turn I will blow your brains out.
human
You wait for a while
gpt
Time passes.

Lucy: Idiot.

Bang!
human
You get Gun
gpt
It's just out of reach. If your arms were half a meter longer you could have punched it out of the robot hand.

Lucy: Idiot.

Bang!
human
You use the mop on Gun
gpt
You use the mop to sweep the gun out of the arm's hand, after which it falls on the floor. Ha ha! 1-0 for you.

Lucy: Damn you!

The robot arm quickly retracts and immediately returns with a laser gun.
human
Inventory
gpt
You are carrying:
a lantern (providing light)
a mop
a dirty dish
a nuclear-powered flashlight
a blue keycard
a pipette (red wine)
a plastic bag
a green severed hand
an electromagnet
a pen
a diary
a red keycard
a yellow keycard
a wallet (open but empty)
a ketchup bottle
a treasure chest (closed)
a stapler
a remote control
a screwdriver

Lucy fires.
human
You use mop on laser gun
gpt
You try this again, but this time the arm dodges the mop.

Lucy: Did you really thought I was going to fall for this? What are you going to do next? Saying there is a three-headed monkey behind me?
Lucy fires.
human
You turn on the magnet
gpt
Good thinking. Unfortunately this magnet only works on blue keycards.

Lucy fires.
human
You use the remote control on Gun
gpt
(the gun)
You can't use these things together.

Lucy fires.
human
You look at yellow Keycard
gpt
Lucy fires but hits your yellow keycard, which reflects the laser beam to the gun, causing it to explode.

Lucy: Okay, now it's time for the real stuff.

Lucy's arm pulls out a giant rocket launcher from somewhere and locks on on you.
human
You use the remote control
gpt
What do you want to use the remote control with?
human
Rocket
gpt
You can't use these things together.

The rocket launcher fires a homing missle at you.
human
You use the remote control on the missle
gpt
You can't use these things together.

BWAMM!!
human
You examine the missle
gpt
The last thing you should do when a homing missle is coming after you is stand still and examine it.

BWAMM!!
human
You go south
gpt
You can't go that way.

BWAMM!!
human
You jump
gpt
What do you want to use the electromagnet with?

>You jump on the spot, fruitlessly.

BWAMM!!
human
You throw mop at the missle
gpt
Futile.

BWAMM!!
human
You check your inventory
gpt
You are carrying:
a lantern (providing light)
a mop
a dirty dish
a nuclear-powered flashlight
a blue keycard
a pipette (red wine)
a plastic bag
a green severed hand
an electromagnet
a pen
a diary
a red keycard
a yellow keycard
a wallet (open but empty)
a ketchup bottle
a treasure chest (closed)
a stapler
a remote control
a screwdriver

BWAMM!!
human
You examine Lucy
gpt
A computer trying to kill you is quite an unique experience, usually it's vise-versa.

BWAMM!!
human
Open chest
gpt
You open the chest, but the only things inside are a crowbar and a message scratched in the bottom of the chest.

BWAMM!!
human
Look around
gpt
A (pretty slow) missle is coming towards you.

A robot arm is pointing a freaking rocket launcher at you.

You can also see a gun here.

BWAMM!!
human
You get Gun
gpt
Taken.

BWAMM!!
human
You examine the arm
gpt
It's elbow is red and it glows. This can mean only one thing...

BWAMM!!
human
You run
gpt
You'll have to say which compass direction to go in.

BWAMM!!
human
Look around
gpt
A robot arm is pointing a freaking rocket launcher at you.

You can also see a gun here.

The rocket launcher fires a homing missle at you.
human
You get Gun
gpt
Taken.

The rocket launcher fires a homing missle at you.
human
You shoot the missle
gpt
You fire at the missle.

You shoot the missle, causing it to explode in mid-air.

Lucy: You little annoying twat really should stop doing physically impossible stuff like that. Now you leave me no choice... This is going to get messy.

Lucy throws away the rocket launcher and grabs a big chainsaw that is covered in blood. Pretty intimidating.
human
You use the ketchup on the chainsaw
gpt
You can't use these things together.

The chainsaw horizontally saws your robot body and brains in two.
human
You jump
gpt
You jump on the spot, fruitlessly.

The chainsaw horizontally saws your robot body and brains in two.
human
You check your inventory
gpt
You are carrying:
a gun
a lantern (providing light)
a mop
a dirty dish
a nuclear-powered flashlight
a blue keycard
a pipette (red wine)
a plastic bag
a green severed hand
an electromagnet
a pen
a diary
a red keycard
a yellow keycard
a wallet (open but empty)
a ketchup bottle
a treasure chest (closed)
a stapler
a remote control
a screwdriver

The chainsaw horizontally saws your robot body and brains in two.
human
You throw the chest at the chainsaw
gpt
Futile.

The chainsaw horizontally saws your robot body and brains in two.
human
You examine the chainsaw
gpt
You can't think of anything to do except scream in terror.

The chainsaw horizontally saws your robot body and brains in two.
human
You turn on the magnet
gpt
Good thinking. Unfortunately this magnet only works on blue keycards.

The chainsaw horizontally saws your robot body and brains in two.
human
You open the bag
gpt
As long as you haven't got a very good reason to do so... no way!

The chainsaw horizontally saws your robot body and brains in two.
human
Go south
gpt
You can't go that way.

The chainsaw horizontally saws your robot body and brains in two.
human
You get the chainsaw
gpt
That's hardly portable.

The chainsaw horizontally saws your robot body and brains in two.
human
You hit the chainsaw
gpt
Violence isn't the answer to this one.

The chainsaw horizontally saws your robot body and brains in two.
human
You look
gpt
A robot arm is coming towards you with a huge bloody chainsaw.

The chainsaw horizontally saws your robot body and brains in two.
human
You examine the arm
gpt
It's elbow is red and it glows. This can mean only one thing...

The chainsaw horizontally saws your robot body and brains in two.
human
You hit the arm
gpt
You punch the arm, but it doesn't seem to have any effect.

The chainsaw horizontally saws your robot body and brains in two.
human
You shoot the arm
gpt
You fire at the robot arm.

You shoot the arm but it isn't very effective.

The chainsaw horizontally saws your robot body and brains in two.
human
You wait
gpt
Time passes.

The chainsaw horizontally saws your robot body and brains in two.
human
You shoot chainsaw
gpt
You fire at the chainsaw.

You shoot the spinning chainsaw but it slices the bullet in half.

The chainsaw horizontally saws your robot body and brains in two.
human
You shoot lucy
gpt
You fire at Lucy.

You don't think you can take out a giant computer with one shot.

The chainsaw horizontally saws your robot body and brains in two.
human
You shoot the elbow
gpt
You fire at the elbow.

You shoot the obvious weak spot on the robot arm. This causes the upper arm to spin once and then it uses the chainsaw to slice of your head.

*** You have been decapitated. ***

This is of little consequence, however. Since you can just... Wait a second. You're still alive!

Computer Room (Northwestern corner)
Your head lies upside down in a corner of the room, from there you can see that Lucy's robot arm, now wearing a boxing glove, is beating up the rest of your body.
human
You check your inventory
gpt
You are carrying nothing.

Lucy spots your head in the corner and smacks it across the room.

Computer Room (Southeastern corner)
Now your head lies right next to some electrical wiring.

Sparks come from the end of a loose wire.
human
You eat the wire
gpt
(first taking the loose wire)
You pick up the loose wire with your mouth.

You already have that.

You have got the loose end of a (pretty long) wire in your mouth.
human
You pull the wire
gpt
Nothing obvious happens.

You have got the loose end of a (pretty long) wire in your mouth.

Lucy's arm grabs your head and smacks it to the ground with a lot of force. It's a good thing your robot head is heavily armoured and has a lot of protection mechanisms for your brain, which prevent you from even getting a mild headache from this.

Computer Room (Center)
You can see your gun lying here, only a couple of inches away.

One bullet, that must have fallen out of the gun's magazine, is right next to you.
human
Inventory
gpt
You are carrying:
a loose wire

You have got the loose end of a (pretty long) wire in your mouth.
human
You attach wire to the bullet
gpt
You would achieve nothing by this.

You have got the loose end of a (pretty long) wire in your mouth.

Lucy's arm places your head in a slingshot and fires at the wall. You bounce back and land somewhere behind the giant computer.

Computer Room (Behind Lucy)
Your head is lying in a claustrofobically small place behind Lucy. Just before you is a round computer port.
human
You put the wire in the port
gpt
You hold the end of the wire in the port.

Lucy: What do you think to achieve? Electrocute me with that pathetically weak voltage? That doesn't even tickle!
You have got the loose end of a (pretty long) wire in your mouth.
human
You get the bullet
gpt
You already have a wire in your mouth.

You have got the loose end of a (pretty long) wire in your mouth.

There's a bullet in your mouth.

Lucy's arm places your head in a slingshot and fires at the wall. You bounce back and land somewhere behind the giant computer.

Computer Room (Behind Lucy)
Your head is lying in a claustrofobically small place behind Lucy. Just before you is a round computer port.
human
You put the wire in the port
gpt
You hold the end of the wire in the port.

Lucy: What do you think to achieve? Electrocute me with that pathetically weak voltage? That doesn't even tickle!
You have got the loose end of a (pretty long) wire in your mouth.

There's a bullet in your mouth.
human
Inventory
gpt
You are carrying:
a bullet
a loose wire

You have got the loose end of a (pretty long) wire in your mouth.

There's a bullet in your mouth.

A boot on a stick kicks you away from here.

Computer Room (Southeastern corner)
Now your head lies right next to some electrical wiring.
human
You drop the wire
gpt
Dropped.

There's a bullet in your mouth.
human
You wait
gpt
Time passes.

There's a bullet in your mouth.

Lucy's arm grabs your head and smacks it to the ground with a lot of force. It's a good thing your robot head is heavily armoured and has a lot of protection mechanisms for your brain, which prevent you from even getting a mild headache from this.

Computer Room (Center)
You can see your gun lying here, only a couple of inches away.
human
Wait
gpt
Time passes.

There's a bullet in your mouth.
human
You wait for a while
gpt
Time passes.

There's a bullet in your mouth.

Lucy's arm places your head in a slingshot and fires at the wall. You bounce back and land somewhere behind the giant computer.

Computer Room (Behind Lucy)
Your head is lying in a claustrofobically small place behind Lucy. Just before you is a round computer port.
human
You put the bullet in the port
gpt
It fits perfectly.

Lucy: What are you doing? Remove that immediately!
human
You wait
gpt
Time passes.

A boot on a stick kicks you away from here.

Computer Room (Southeastern corner)
Now your head lies right next to some electrical wiring.

You can see a loose wire here.
human
You get the wire
gpt
You pick up the loose wire with your mouth.

You have got the loose end of a (pretty long) wire in your mouth.
human
You wait for a while
gpt
Time passes.

You have got the loose end of a (pretty long) wire in your mouth.

Lucy's arm grabs your head and smacks it to the ground with a lot of force. It's a good thing your robot head is heavily armoured and has a lot of protection mechanisms for your brain, which prevent you from even getting a mild headache from this.

Computer Room (Center)
You can see your gun lying here, only a couple of inches away.
human
You wait awhile
gpt
Time passes.

You have got the loose end of a (pretty long) wire in your mouth.
human
Wait
gpt
Time passes.

You have got the loose end of a (pretty long) wire in your mouth.

Lucy's arm places your head in a slingshot and fires at the wall. You bounce back and land somewhere behind the giant computer.

Computer Room (Behind Lucy)
Your head is lying in a claustrofobically small place behind Lucy. Just before you is a round computer port (with a bullet in it).
human
You use the wire on bullet
gpt
The hold the wire against the back of the bullet, and with a loud bang the gunpowder inside explodes and propells the bullet into the port.

Lucy: NOOO!! What have you done?! You hit some of my vital... Iceland! No hablo Espanol, laxative with cookies is tuesdayyyyowahghkrckkkkk yes allyourbasearebelongto

I AM ERROR ....................................................................... ....................................................................... ....................................................................... ....................................................................... ....................................................................... ....................................................................... ....................................................................... ....................................................................... ....................................................................... ....................................................................... ....

System reboot succesfull. In order to remove all defective files, all main hard drives had to be formatted. Only basic systems have been backed-up. System administrator is unkown, therefore the first person the give a vocal command will gain admin status and full contol over all my functions.

First person to give a vocal command, eh? You ask Lucy to please stop trying to kill you.

Lucy: Task 937: Kill <target name unkown> with priority level 5 has been cancelled. Have you got any other orders for me, sir?

Well...

Some time later...

Your hometown (Earth)
You wave goodbye to the S.S. Blearch, which flies away thousands of kilometers from earth in a few microseconds. Your new body feels great and looks exactly identical to your old one, all thanks to the super-advanced alien cloning technology. It's not completely the same though: because of the added laser eyes, superhuman strenght, IQ of 250, immortality and the abilty to move your ears (something you always would've wanted to be able to do).

Well, all this adventuring has made you pretty hungry. You decide to go to the local snackbar and eat as much hamburgers as you can pay for with the gigantic amount of money that has recently been deposited to your bank account. Well okay, that many hamburgers do not exist, but you bet your friends will be pretty impressed once you've bought the country of Sweden.
human
You look around
gpt
Lucy: Just answer the question.
human
Pizza
gpt
Enter saved game to load: Restore failed.
human
You answer the pizza
gpt
(to Lucy)
Lucy: pizza? My databases do not contain any information about that particular food, but it sounds rather nasty. I did find some pizza recipes on the internet, so I will direct those to the new cook. I hope you know what you're talking about, 848930...
Anyway, you will receive your reward... sometimes in the future. Such a great crisis like this one luckily only happens once every 200 years, so we will not be needing you until then. Have fun in your illusionary state of mind.

You feel like all the water in your brain is being replaced with liquid nitrogen. Probably something like that is actually happening...

You are in a vast green field. There a giant Mushrooms everywhere.

Money is lying on the ground everywhere. Probably this was the content of the crate. Luckily that little blue man isn't interested in it.

A little blue man with a white hat is walking around and looking at the mushrooms.

You can also see a signpost here.
human
You examine the altar
gpt
There is an inscription on the altar, surprisingly it's in regular modern English. It says:

The first one who succeeds in balancing the holy scales without removing the rock on the right scale will achieve ultimate happiness, ultimate knowledge and ultimate wealth. Beyond all this, you will also receive two free tickets to the zoo.
human
You eat rock
gpt
You try to take a bite out of it, booth you break a tooth, which falls on the floor.
human
Look around
gpt
Wow, this has to be the St. Peter of the temples dedicated to... err... mushrooms, it is huge.

The east and west walls are full of hieroglyphs.

In the middle of the temple you see a fountain. Like everything here it's mushroom-shaped.

There is an altar at the end of the hall. There are scales on the altar.

You can also see a tooth here.
human
You examine tooth
gpt
Poor tooth.
human
You get the tooth
gpt
You pick up the tooth, but then the tooth fairy comes and trades it for an easter egg.
human
Inventory
gpt
You are carrying:
an easter egg
a miniature
a tube of glue
a phone book
a white hat
a piece of paper
a lemon
human
You examine the easter egg
gpt
It's an easter egg. You hope it has some kind of function in this game.
human
You put the easter egg on the left scale
gpt
No.