system
You are the dungeon master of a text adventure game. The game should involve the following genres and tags:
Humor, female protagonist,I7 source available,parser
gpt
"Yo momma's so fat when they take aerial photos they have to ask her to move out of the way!"

Your heart is pounding and you find it hard to breathe. You didn't supect that the quips would hit this hard in real situation. Focus. Focus!

"Yo momma's so ugly because her face is so ugly..."

Oh man. You didn't just say that. You did. Oh man.

The crowd starts booing and whistling. It's over. You blew it. Gus grins like a retard who has just plucked the last leg off a spider. You're not sure that you can find it in you to challenge him again.

You're standing dumbfounded and humiliated on the stage of the Compass Club. There's nothing left to do than to swallow your defeat and climb down the stage.
human
About yourself
gpt
This is it. You're here to win the insult battle championship, and you're ready for it. Maybe.

Your hair is on a tight ponytail and you're wearing the most credible street clothes you own.
human
You check what you're carrying
gpt
You're wearing your street clothes and a track jacket.
human
You look around
gpt
You're standing dumbfounded and humiliated on the stage of the Compass Club. There's nothing left to do than to swallow your defeat and climb down the stage.
human
Go downward
gpt
Dance floor (center of the club)
This is the center of the Compass Club. Most people don't orient themselves in relation to compass directions, but here it's more than natural. A huge compass rose is painted to the ceiling and the abbreviations of cardinal directions are painted on the walls.

To north there's the stage where you can challenge Gus by just climbing on to it. The club continues in every other direction.

It looks as if somebody in a dark corner table to the southeast is making a "come here" gesture.
human
Swallow defeat
gpt
Gulp.
human
Go southeast
gpt
Dark corner (SE corner)
The sharp spotlights in this corner of the club create dark and gloomy shadows around the tables.

A mysterious stranger sits behind a table, gesturing you to sit on the chair opposite to him.
human
You sit on the chair
gpt
"You blew it up there, kid," the stranger says. "Blew it big time."

You feel your cheeks getting red. "Oh yeah? Who are you to judge?"

You're about to get up but he raises his hand. "I speak from experience. But don't worry, kid, I see you have potential. The game is not over yet. I can help you win the championship. If you're up for it."

"Who... Who are you?"

He leans forward into the spotlight and reveals his face. An eyepatch covers the old man's right eye and a wide scar runs below it, from the right temple to the left side of his neck. You jolt backwards, not because of the grotesque sight, but because you recognize him.

It's Joe Mahma.
human
Insult joe
gpt
"Uh... Yo momma's so fat because she eats a lot..."

"If I insulted you back, you couldn't sleep for months without horrible nightmares," he remarks dryly.

"Joe Mahma! No way!" you gasp.

"I see you know me, kid. Good to know somebody still does."

Of course you know who Joe Mahma is. Everybody knows Joe Mahma. He's a living legend, the infamous grandmaster of Yo Momma insult battles.

"Look, kid, you want my help or not?"
human
Yes
gpt
"Ok then. Listen carefully. I know and you know you're not ready to take Gus head on. But here's the thing. A sharp tongue is all good and fine but when you really want to knock your opponent off their feet you have to strike hard. And nothing hurts more than truth. You follow me?"

"Not really," you confess.

"Pay attention now! Do some reconnaissance. Dig out some facts and use them against him. When you have enough information, just think of what you have learned and the right insult will come to you. Got it?"

"Snoop around for embarassing facts, draw inspiration from them. Got it."

"That's the spirit! Go for it, kid!"
human
You ask Joe about Gus
gpt
(To interact with people you can TALK TO them, INSULT them or SHOW things to them.)
human
You talk to Joe
gpt
"So you want me to snoop around for inspiration?"

"Yes! Find your opponent's soft spots. Once you've found what would really push him off his feet, challenge him again with renewed confidence."
human
You look around
gpt
Dark corner (SE corner) (on the chair)
The sharp spotlights in this corner of the club create dark and gloomy shadows around the tables.

Joe Mahma sits behind a table holding a cigar.
human
You stand
gpt
You get off the chair.

Dark corner (SE corner)
The sharp spotlights in this corner of the club create dark and gloomy shadows around the tables.

Joe Mahma sits behind a table holding a cigar.
human
You go west
gpt
Entrance (southern side)
This is where you enter and leave the club.

A bouncer is standing next to the door with his arms crossed.

You spot a thermostat mounted on the wall next to the doors.
human
You go northwest
gpt
(In addition to using the compass directions you can move around the club by simply typing the name of the location where you want to go, or a name of a person in the location. You can also see the list of all locations by commanding MAP.)

Bar (western side)
A club wouldn't be a club if it didn't have a bar. The selection is written on a chalkboard behind the counter next to an educational poster.

The barkeep is busy serving drinks to thirsty clubbers.

A dubious-looking guy is leaning on the counter.
human
You look at thermostat
gpt
The thermostat has only two settings: warm and cool. It's currently in the "cool" position.
human
You set the thermostat to warm
gpt
"Hey! Keep your hands off that!" the bouncer shouts. "With this amount of people here they would sweat their clothes off if the air conditioning wouldn't keep them cooled!"
human
You hit the bouncer
gpt
Probably not a good idea. He's scrawny for a bouncer, but you're no muscleman either.
human
Go west
gpt
(In addition to using the compass directions you can move around the club by simply typing the name of the location where you want to go, or a name of a person in the location. You can also see the list of all locations by commanding MAP.)

Arcade corner (SW corner)
In this corner of the club there's a collection of arcade machines. This is where all the tough kids like to hang out.

Speaking of tough kids, Vincent is hacking away on one of the machines.

There's a tall plant standing in the corner.
human
You examine the plant
gpt
It's possibly some sort of small palm tree, creating atmosphere.
human
You look at Vincent
gpt
Vincent is a bully. There's nothing that makes him happier than beating up people, and that's the only thing he's good at.
human
You talk to Vincent
gpt
There's really nothing to discuss with Vincent. It's a small miracle he can form even basic sentences.
human
Insult vincent
gpt
"Hey Vincent," you say. "Word on the street is that yo momma's so fat she weighs a lot."

Vincent stops in his tracks. You can hear gears turning in his head. He turns around, grabs you by the collar and lifts you in the air. "Who's been sayin' that? Talk ya little punk!"

Good ol' Vincent. No matter how lame the insult, you can count on him getting agitated.

?
human
You talk to Vincent
gpt
Better not use that many words. Anything above one word is probably too much for Vincent's pea-brain to understand.

?
human
You examine the arcade
gpt
"You're just joking, right?" he says and shoves you off before turning to the arcade machine again.

You recognize some of the names: Bubble Bobble, Pong, Zork, Tetris. Really old stuff. Vincent is fervously bashing the keys of something called 'Escapade!'.
human
Bouncer
gpt
(To interact with people you can TALK TO them, INSULT them or SHOW things to them.)
human
Insult vincent
gpt
"Hey Vincent," you say. "Word on the street is that yo momma's so fat she has a lot of weight."

Vincent stops in his tracks. You can hear gears turning in his head. He turns around, grabs you by the collar and lifts you in the air. "Who's been sayin' that? Talk ya little punk!"

?
human
Gus
gpt
"I don' believe ya, punk. Gus and I are friends, he wouln' say that 'bout my momma."
human
Insult vincent
gpt
"Hey Vincent," you say. "Word on the street is that yo momma's so stupid that she's dumb."

Vincent stops in his tracks. You can hear gears turning in his head. He turns around, grabs you by the collar and lifts you in the air. "Who's been sayin' that? Talk ya little punk!"

?
human
Bouncer
gpt
Vincent looks like he's thinking hard, even though that's unlikely. "I can't go beatin' the staff. They would kick me out and I couldn't finish my game," he concludes and lets you go.
human
Insult vincent
gpt
"Hey Vincent," you say. "Word on the street is that yo momma's so ugly that people say she doesn't look good."

Vincent stops in his tracks. You can hear gears turning in his head. He turns around, grabs you by the collar and lifts you in the air. "Who's been sayin' that? Talk ya little punk!"

?
human
Joe
gpt
"Who? I don' know 'im. Yer just yankin' my leg," he says and drops you down.
human
Go north
gpt
Bar (western side)
A club wouldn't be a club if it didn't have a bar. The selection is written on a chalkboard behind the counter next to an educational poster.

The barkeep is busy serving drinks to thirsty clubbers.

A dubious-looking guy is leaning on the counter.
human
You examine dubious
gpt
The dubious-looking guy is an obnoxious mix of overconfidence and desperation in its mid-30s. He wears a cheap white suit with large collars and matching shoes. His shirt is unbuttoned halfway down showcasing an uneven patch of chest hair. A thick layer of grease keeps his hair combed back.

The guy notices you looking at him and flashes a bleached smile.

"Well hello there sparkly-eyes!" the guy says. "My name is Sleazeball McDouchebag, but you can call me Sleaze."

(That's not what he actually says, but that's what your brain hears.)
human
Insult Sleaze
gpt
"Ooh, I love it when women talk dirty! Let me have it, girl!"
human
You buy the drink
gpt
Which do you mean, the cola, the tonic, the gin, the wine, the beer, or the vodka?
human
You hit him
gpt
*slap*

"Ooh, feisty! Show me your claws, tiger girl!"
human
You buy the vodka
gpt
You don't have any money. Besides it's very hard to get a drink without papers here.
human
You talk to the barkeep
gpt
"Sorry, too busy to chat," the barkeep says and moves on to the next customer.
human
You read poster
gpt
"Watch out! Don't leave your drink unguarded!" It has a picture of a boogey man dropping a skull-marked pill into a cocktail glass.
human
You talk to the guy
gpt
(the Sleaze)
"How old are you, angelface?"

"Sevent--"

"Twenty-one, eh? Perfect." He pulls mouthspray from his pocket and squirts it five or six times in his mouth.
human
Dance
gpt
You bust a few moves.
human
Go north
gpt
VIP lounge (NW corner)
The area is reserved to those with VIP passes. There are cushy red sofas to sit on and you don't have to worry about drunken idiots crashing your table.

A guard is making sure no-one without a pass gets in.

Britney, the bimbo girlfriend of Gus, sits on a couch looking bored.
human
You look at Britney
gpt
Britney and Gus are a perfect match. He's full of hot air and her head is full of air. She sits there in her tiny tiny skirt and top looking like a circus clown in her face plastered with makeup.
human
You talk to Britney
gpt
"Ma'am, this area is off limits for anyone without a VIP pass," the guard says when you try to approach Britney.
human
You check what you're carrying
gpt
You're wearing your street clothes and a track jacket.
human
You talk to the guard
gpt
"On duty. Can't talk," the guard says bluntly.
human
You look at the jacket
gpt
The track jacket is the latest craze. Everybody who's somebody has to have one. It's way oversized, just like it should be.
human
You examine the street clothes
gpt
You express your individuality by wearing baggy hip-hop clothes, just like everyone else.
human
You go east
gpt
When you feel you're ready to challenge Gus again you can CLIMB ON STAGE.
human
Go southeast
gpt
Dance floor (center of the club)
This is the center of the Compass Club. Most people don't orient themselves in relation to compass directions, but here it's more than natural. A huge compass rose is painted to the ceiling and the abbreviations of cardinal directions are painted on the walls.

To north there's the stage where you can challenge Gus by just climbing on to it. The club continues in every other direction.

Norbert is standing here near the dance floor.
human
You look at Norbert
gpt
Norbert is, to be blunt, a nerd. He's swaying there in his striped collar shirt, just too short pants and glasses with lenses thicher than his legs. What he's doing here is anybody's guess.
human
Insult norbert
gpt
"Yo momma's so fat and stupid!"

"El oh el! I see what you did there!"

If you can't taunt even Norbert, you're really in a big trouble.
human
Go west
gpt
Bar (western side)
A club wouldn't be a club if it didn't have a bar. The selection is written on a chalkboard behind the counter next to an educational poster.

The barkeep is busy serving drinks to thirsty clubbers.

The Sleaze is leaning on the counter, eyeing you and giving an occasional wink.
human
Arcade
gpt
Arcade corner (SW corner)
In this corner of the club there's a collection of arcade machines. This is where all the tough kids like to hang out.

Speaking of tough kids, Vincent is hacking away on one of the machines.

There's a tall plant standing in the corner.
human
Insult vincent
gpt
"Hey Vincent," you say. "Word on the street is that yo momma's so poor she doesn't have any money."

Vincent stops in his tracks. You can hear gears turning in his head. He turns around, grabs you by the collar and lifts you in the air. "Who's been sayin' that? Talk ya little punk!"

?
human
Norbert
gpt
"That pencilneck? He'll eat through a straw for a month," Vincent says and storms to the dance floor.

He goes straight to Norbert, exchanges a few words and starts to slap him around. The bouncer sees this and leaves his post to cool things down.
human
Entrance
gpt
Entrance (southern side)
This is where you enter and leave the club.

You spot a thermostat mounted on the wall next to the doors.
human
You set the thermostat to warm
gpt
You turn the thermostat to "warm".
human
Go northeast
gpt
Hall of Fame (eastern side)
Just being here makes your heart beat faster. The walls are adorned by portraits of past champions, each of them a part of great history.

Ralph, one of Gus's goons, is sitting here with a satchel.

An old jukebox sits under the pictures.
human
You look at Ralph
gpt
Ralph is one of those dungbeetles who cling onto Gus for hopes that his fame would somehow rub off and transfer onto them. He must have some task, otherwise he wouldn't be so far away from his hero.

Looks like the commotion on the dance floor is dying down.
human
You talk to Ralph
gpt
"What's going on, Ralph?"

"Get lost, squirt. There's nothing here for you," he says.
human
You examine the satchel
gpt
You recognize Gus's satchel. Or man-purse, as you like to call it.
human
You open the satchel
gpt
"Hey, you little twerp! Get away from Gus's bag!" Ralph shouts.
human
You examine the jukebox
gpt
The jukebox looks like a retro vinyl player but under the hood it plays MP3s like everything else. The machine controls all the music playing in the club, so when somebody chooses a new song, the whole club has to listen to that.

The buttons are labeled "rap", "r&b", "jazz", "rock", "techno", and something that has most of the letters scraped off, leaving only "ass". The button labeled "rap" is currently selected.

The jukebox is operated by inserting coins into the slot.
human
You press the ass
gpt
The button refuses to budge. The machine must require a coin to be inserted first.
human
You look under jukebox
gpt
(searching the jukebox)
On the back side of the jukebox you find a knob.
human
You look at the knob
gpt
The knob is apparently for adjusting the volume of the music being played. It can be set to low, medium or high. At the moment it's set on medium.
human
You turn the knob to high
gpt
You turn the music up.
human
You listen
gpt
Some rap is playing at ear-pearcing volume.
human
Search machines
gpt
You scoop up a good handful of coins from the coin return slots of the machines. Good thing Vincent is not brainy enough to collect his rejected coins.
human
Hall of Fame
gpt
Hall of Fame (eastern side)
Just being here makes your heart beat faster. The walls are adorned by portraits of past champions, each of them a part of great history.

Ralph, one of Gus's goons, is sitting here with a satchel.

An old jukebox sits under the pictures.
human
Inventory
gpt
You're carrying a handful of coins, and wearing your street clothes and a track jacket.
human
You examine the coins
gpt
You have a handful of coins, straight from the depths of a sofa.
human
You put the coin in the jukebox
gpt
The coin tumbles inside the machine.
human
You press the ass
gpt
You push the "ass" button and a smoothing classical symphony starts playing. The "rap" button pops back up.

"What the... Who changed the music?" Ralph shouts and gets up the chair. "Get away from the jukebox, you twerp!"
human
You take the satchel
gpt
Ralph would notice you walking away with the bag.

Ralph puts a coin into the jukebox and pushes the rap button.

Ralph returns from the jukebox.
human
You open satchel
gpt
You open the satchel, revealing some books and a wallet.

Ralph puts a coin into the jukebox and pushes the rap button.

Ralph returns from the jukebox.

"Hey, are you messing with Gus's bag? Get out of here, twerp!" Ralph says and pushes you away.
human
You wait for a while
gpt
Time passes.
human
You press the ass
gpt
You push the "classical" button and a smoothing classical symphony starts playing. The "jazz" button pops back up.

"What the... Who changed the music?" Ralph shouts and gets up the chair. "Get away from the jukebox, you twerp!"
human
You search the satchel
gpt
You can't see inside, since the satchel is closed.

Ralph puts a coin into the jukebox and pushes the rap button.

Ralph returns from the jukebox.
human
You turn the knob to the quiet
gpt
The knob doesn't have that setting.

Ralph puts a coin into the jukebox and pushes the rap button.

Ralph returns from the jukebox.
human
You examine the knob
gpt
The knob is apparently for adjusting the volume of the music being played. It can be set to low, medium or high. At the moment it's set on high.

Ralph puts a coin into the jukebox and pushes the rap button.

Ralph returns from the jukebox.
human
You examine rap button
gpt
The button is labeled "rap".
human
You take the rap button
gpt
That seems to be a part of the jukebox controls.
human
You set knob to low
gpt
You turn the music down.
human
You open satchel
gpt
You open the satchel, revealing some books and a wallet.

Ralph puts a coin into the jukebox and pushes the rap button.

Ralph returns from the jukebox.

"Hey, are you messing with Gus's bag? Get out of here, twerp!" Ralph says and pushes you away.
human
Go north
gpt
Artist hangout (NE corner)
The people who are performing in the club usually hang around here by the stage.

Gus stands here chatting with his posse.

A massive loudspeaker is booming tunes next to the stage.

"Man, it's really hot in here, dontcha think?" Gus says. His posse nods in unison, competing who can agree most with him. Assflies. He takes his sweater off and hangs it on the back of a nearby chair.
human
You examine the posse
gpt
When you're famous, you get all kinds of mindless drones following you around doing nothing but sucking up to you. It's so lame and childish. And so unfair that you don't have a posse. Yet.
human
You look at the sweater
gpt
It's Gus's hooded blue sweater with white decorations. A tag is sewn to it.

For some reason a thought that the tag is somehow important crosses your mind.
human
You look at the tag
gpt
It's too dark to make out what it says on the tag. It looks important, or at least as important as a clothes tag ever can.
human
You take the tag
gpt
It's sewn tightly to the sweater.
human
You take the sweater
gpt
Taken.
human
Floor
gpt
One of Gus's goons sees you leave and points at you. Gus turns around and sees you with his sweater. "Hey, whatcha think you're doing? That's my shirt, come back with it!" he shouts.
human
You describe your surroundings
gpt
Artist hangout (NE corner)
The people who are performing in the club usually hang around here by the stage.

Gus stands here chatting with his posse.

A massive loudspeaker is booming tunes next to the stage.
human
Inventory
gpt
You're carrying a sweater and a handful of coins, and wearing your street clothes and a track jacket.
human
You examine loudspeaker
gpt
The loudspeaker booms the tunes in deafening volume. Every bass beat makes the ground tremble slightly.
human
Wear sweater
gpt
The track jacket is way too big to fit the sweater over it.
human
You remove the jacket
gpt
You take off the track jacket.
human
Wear sweater
gpt
You put on the sweater.
human
Floor
gpt
Dance floor (center of the club)
This is the center of the Compass Club. Most people don't orient themselves in relation to compass directions, but here it's more than natural. A huge compass rose is painted to the ceiling and the abbreviations of cardinal directions are painted on the walls.

To north there's the stage where you can challenge Gus by just climbing on to it. The club continues in every other direction.

Norbert is standing here near the dance floor.

Norbert tries to look under the table. "Ow, my back," he complains.
human
You look under the table
gpt
You take off the track jacket.

(searching the table)
You find a fresh wad of bubblegum under the nearest table.
human
You remove the sweater
gpt
You take off the sweater.
human
You look at the tag
gpt
It's too dark to make out what it says on the tag. It looks important, or at least as important as a clothes tag ever can.
human
You take the gum
gpt
You need to scrape it off the table, and you need gloves or a tool to do it. It's too icky to touch with bare hands.

Norbert puts his hand above his eyes as to shield his eyes from the sun, which is somewhat unnecessary during the night in a dim club without windows.
human
You ask Norbert about tag
gpt
(To interact with people you can TALK TO them, INSULT them or SHOW things to them.)

Norbert tries to look under the table. "Ow, my back," he complains.
human
You examine norbert
gpt
Norbert is, to be blunt, a nerd. He's swaying there in his striped collar shirt, just too short pants and glasses with lenses thicher than his legs.

Poor Norbert's missing the left lens from his glasses.

Norbert tries to look under the table. "Ow, my back," he complains.
human
You talk to Norbert
gpt
"What happened to your glasses?"

"Ah well... it was Vincent, I'm afraid. We had a little quarrel just now and looks like the other ocular of my eyewear was loosened and rolled away," Norbert says.

Norbert searches the table carefully but finds nothing.
human
You look at your surroundings
gpt
Dance floor (center of the club)
This is the center of the Compass Club. Most people don't orient themselves in relation to compass directions, but here it's more than natural. A huge compass rose is painted to the ceiling and the abbreviations of cardinal directions are painted on the walls.

To north there's the stage where you can challenge Gus by just climbing on to it. The club continues in every other direction.

Norbert is standing here near the dance floor.

Norbert searches the table carefully but finds nothing.
human
You examine table
gpt
There's no food served here so the tables are just for holding drinks.

Norbert tries to look under the table. "Ow, my back," he complains.
human
You look under the jukebox
gpt
(searching the jukebox)
You find nothing of interest.
human
Go west
gpt
Among others you recognize Missy Maestro, Doc Stockholm, Hetty R, Slick Joe Mittens, and of course Gus, the current champion.

The first portrait seems to be missing.

Dance floor (center of the club)
This is the center of the Compass Club. Most people don't orient themselves in relation to compass directions, but here it's more than natural. A huge compass rose is painted to the ceiling and the abbreviations of cardinal directions are painted on the walls.

To north there's the stage where you can challenge Gus by just climbing on to it. The club continues in every other direction.

Norbert is standing here near the dance floor.
human
Corner
gpt
Which do you mean, the VIP lounge, the Artist hangout, the Arcade corner, or the Dark corner?
human
Dark corner
gpt
Dark corner (SE corner)
The sharp spotlights in this corner of the club create dark and gloomy shadows around the tables.

Joe Mahma sits behind a table holding a cigar.
human
You talk to Joe
gpt
"What kind of things should I be looking for?"

"Nothing hurts more than the truth. Find out some facts about Gus's life and craft your insults based on them."
human
You show the sweater to Joe
gpt
It's too dark to make out what it says on the tag. It looks important, or at least as important as a clothes tag ever can.

"Can you read what it says in the tag?" you ask Joe Mahma. "This is a problem you have to solve by yourself," he zens.
human
You talk to guy
gpt
(the Sleaze)
"Did you know I make sixty... seventy... a HUNDRED grand a year? Yeah, I'm the number one salesman at the leading automobile sales establishment in the country. In fact, I'm here RIGHT NOW to give you the ride of your life, baby!"

You hold back a gag reflex.
human
You talk to the guy
gpt
(the Sleaze)
"Hey sweet-lips, can I buy you a drink? Just point at what you want from the menu and" -- he pauses to make a tongue-clicking and akimbo finger guns -- "it's yours."
human
You point at the vodka
gpt
You point at the vodka in the menu. "Bartender! One vodka!" the Sleaze declares and takes a stack of bills from his pocket. He counts the sum with grand gestures and pays for the drink. The bartender places the vodka on the counter.
human
You examine the vodka
gpt
Vodka is almost pure alcolhol. The best way to get drunk quickly.
human
You kiss him
gpt
You. Would. Rather. Die.
human
Go east
gpt
Dance floor (center of the club)
This is the center of the Compass Club. Most people don't orient themselves in relation to compass directions, but here it's more than natural. A huge compass rose is painted to the ceiling and the abbreviations of cardinal directions are painted on the walls.

To north there's the stage where you can challenge Gus by just climbing on to it. The club continues in every other direction.
human
Go west
gpt
Bar (western side)
A club wouldn't be a club if it didn't have a bar. The selection is written on a chalkboard behind the counter next to an educational poster.

On the counter is a glass of vodka.

The barkeep is busy serving drinks to thirsty clubbers.

The Sleaze is leaning on the counter, eyeing you and giving an occasional wink.

Entering the bar you see the Sleaze looking around him, taking something from his jacket pocket and dropping it into the vodka when he thinks no-one is looking. The drink sizzles for a short while and turns back to normal again.
human
You give the vodka to guard
gpt
He gives the drink a longing look, smacking his dry lips. "Thank you, ma'am, but I have to stay alert," he says.
human
Point at cola
gpt
You point at the cola in the menu. "Bartender! One cola!" the Sleaze declares and takes a stack of bills from his pocket. He counts the sum with grand gestures and pays for the drink. The bartender places the cola on the counter.
human
Go west
gpt
Bar (western side)
A club wouldn't be a club if it didn't have a bar. The selection is written on a chalkboard behind the counter next to an educational poster.

On the counter is a glass of cola.

The barkeep is busy serving drinks to thirsty clubbers.

The Sleaze is leaning on the counter, eyeing you and giving an occasional wink.

Entering the bar you see the Sleaze looking around him, taking something from his jacket pocket and dropping it into the cola when he thinks no-one is looking. The drink sizzles for a short while and turns back to normal again.

"I bet your parents were angels, because I would like to..." the Sleaze says and ends the sentence with a short but vomit-inducing gesture show.
human
You take cola
gpt
Taken.
human
Vip
gpt
VIP lounge (NW corner)
The area is reserved to those with VIP passes. There are cushy red sofas to sit on and you don't have to worry about drunken idiots crashing your table.

A guard is making sure no-one without a pass gets in.

Britney, the bimbo girlfriend of Gus, sits on a couch looking bored.
human
You give the cola to guard
gpt
"Thank you, ma'am! I appreciate this," the guard says and takes the glass. He empties it in a single draw.

"This is... strange..." he says, and falls straight on a couch. You're worried for a moment that he might be more than just asleep, but you can see him breathing peacefully in his slumber.
human
You talk to Britney
gpt
"Hello, Britney."

"Hel-lo, Jen," she says without bothering to look at you.
human
Keep going
gpt
"How did you get into the VIP lounge?"

"That's like the most stupidest question e-ver," she says with her annoying nasal voice. "I'm like the main star's gee ef, and you very well know it."
human
You talk to Britney
gpt
"Wanna talk about Gus?"

"Like, why should I want to?" she gushes. "Gus get's like really pissed off if I accidentally go telling something I shouldn't. I usually don't, not unless I'm like totally wasted, but still."
human
You check your inventory
gpt
You're carrying a glass of spiced vodka, a sweater, a handful of coins, and a track jacket, and wearing your street clothes.
human
You point at the vodka
gpt
You point at the spiced vodka. Nothing happens.

"I bet your parents were angels, because I would like to..." the Sleaze says and ends the sentence with a short but vomit-inducing gesture show.
human
Go east
gpt
Dance floor (center of the club)
This is the center of the Compass Club. Most people don't orient themselves in relation to compass directions, but here it's more than natural. A huge compass rose is painted to the ceiling and the abbreviations of cardinal directions are painted on the walls.

To north there's the stage where you can challenge Gus by just climbing on to it. The club continues in every other direction.
human
You drop the vodka
gpt
It's better not to leave the drugged drink anywhere. Someone might accidentally take it and you don't want to be responsible for that.
human
You put vodka in the plant
gpt
(first taking the plant)
That's fixed in place.
human
You drink vodka
gpt
No way! You'd probably be knocked out cold!
human
Bar
gpt
Bar (western side)
A club wouldn't be a club if it didn't have a bar. The selection is written on a chalkboard behind the counter next to an educational poster.

The barkeep is busy serving drinks to thirsty clubbers.

The Sleaze is leaning on the counter, eyeing you and giving an occasional wink.
human
You give the vodka to the bartender
gpt
The barkeep takes the drink and throws it away.
human
You point at the vodka
gpt
You point at the vodka in the menu. "Bartender! One vodka!" the Sleaze declares and takes a stack of bills from his pocket. He counts the sum with grand gestures and pays for the drink. The bartender places the vodka on the counter.
human
Vip
gpt
VIP lounge (NW corner)
The area is reserved to those with VIP passes. There are cushy red sofas to sit on and you don't have to worry about drunken idiots crashing your table.

The guard is lying passed out on one of the sofas.

Britney, the bimbo girlfriend of Gus, sits on a couch looking bored.
human
You give drink to Britney
gpt
"I only take drinks from my friends," Britney sneers. "Gus says it's dangerous to accept drinks from strangers."

At the last moment you decide not to do that.
human
You drop the drink
gpt
You put the vodka on the table.
human
Vip
gpt
VIP lounge (NW corner)
The area is reserved to those with VIP passes. There are cushy red sofas to sit on and you don't have to worry about drunken idiots crashing your table.

The guard is lying passed out on one of the sofas.

Britney, the bimbo girlfriend of Gus, sits on a couch looking bored.

Someone has already snatched the drink you left here.
human
You talk to Britney
gpt
"C'mon, Britney. Let's talk about Gus, only for a little while. I'm... uh, really curious about him."

"No way! I only talk about my boyfriend with my friends. And we're not friends, Jen."
human
You look under the sofa
gpt
(searching the sofas)
Among other assorted crap fallen from people's pockets like candy wrappers and used paper tissues you find a VIP pass.
human
You look at the pass
gpt
The pass allows for the person holding it to enter the VIP lounge. Not that it's that useful now when the lounge guard is out of the picture.
human
Inventory
gpt
You're carrying a VIP pass, a sweater, a handful of coins, and a track jacket, and wearing your street clothes.
human
You give the pass to Sleaze
gpt
"Care for a pass for the VIP lounge?" you ask and wave the pass in front of the Sleaze. "Would I!" he says delighted. "The rich and the idle are just waiting for a knight in white armor to come save them from boredom," he says, grabs the pass and heads to the lounge.
human
You go north
gpt
VIP lounge (NW corner)
The area is reserved to those with VIP passes. There are cushy red sofas to sit on and you don't have to worry about drunken idiots crashing your table.

The Sleaze sits on the couch with Britney who is doing her best to ignore him.

The guard is lying passed out on one of the sofas.
human
You talk to Britney
gpt
"C'mon, Britney. Let's talk about Gus, only for a little while. I'm... uh, really curious about him."

"No way! I only talk about my boyfriend with my friends. And we're not friends, Jen."

"Hey there, sister. You look like you would need a man in your life," the Sleaze suggests to Britney. "Get lost creep," Britney says.
human
You talk to Britney
gpt
"C'mon, Britney. Let's talk about Gus, only for a little while. I'm... uh, really curious about him."

"No way! I only talk about my boyfriend with my friends. And we're not friends, Jen."
human
You examine Sleaze
gpt
The Sleaze is an obnoxious mix of overconfidence and desperation in its mid-30s. He wears a cheap white suit with large collars and matching shoes. His shirt is unbuttoned halfway down showcasing an uneven patch of chest hair. A thick layer of grease keeps his hair combed back.

He's currently working hard to have Britney notice himself.

"Nice outfit," the Sleaze says to Britney. "It'll look good on my bedroom floor." She tries to tug her skirt hem lower with little success.
human
You wait for a while
gpt
Time passes.
human
Hall of Fame
gpt
Hall of Fame (eastern side)
Just being here makes your heart beat faster. The walls are adorned by portraits of past champions, each of them a part of great history.

Ralph, one of Gus's goons, is sitting here with a satchel.

An old jukebox sits under the pictures.
human
You talk to Gus
gpt
"Beat it, kid. We don't have anything to talk about."
human
You look at Gus
gpt
Gus, the insult battle champion. He's not that tough. You could beat him, if you were a little bit more well prepared...
human
Bar
gpt
One of Gus's goons sees you leave and points at you. Gus turns around and sees you with his sweater. "Hey, whatcha think you're doing? That's my shirt, come back with it!" he shouts.
human
Inventory
gpt
You're carrying a sweater, a handful of coins, and a track jacket, and wearing your street clothes.
human
Wear sweater
gpt
You put on the sweater.
human
Bar
gpt
Bar (western side)
A club wouldn't be a club if it didn't have a bar. The selection is written on a chalkboard behind the counter next to an educational poster.

The barkeep is busy serving drinks to thirsty clubbers.
human
You search guard
gpt
In the guard's pocket you find a taser.
human
You look at the taser
gpt
The hand-held stunning device looks impressive.

The Sleaze tries to wrap his arm around Britney but she slaps his hand away.
human
You tase Sleaze
gpt
(with the taser)
You pull the taser from your pocket. "Well hello, beautiful," the Sleaze says and turns to you. "I was just talking with your friend here. I was thnking all three of us could go to my place and" *kZap* "OH my dear GOD WHAT the" *kZap* "that really HURTS" *kZap* "no NOT THERE PLEASE" *kZap* *kZap*

The Sleaze staggers away, smoke rising from his head. His limbs twitch as he stumbles back to the bar.

"Oh wow, Jen. That's really sweet of you!" Britney stands up and gives you an awkward hug. "I think we could be like really good friends, Jen!"
human
You talk to Britney
gpt
"So, now that we're friends, how about we talk about, say, Gus?"

"I don't know, Jen. Can't we talk about something more important, like makeup or something?"
human
Continue
gpt
"No, really, let's talk about Gus. What's his mother like?"

"Yeah, uh... Well, I shouldn't really like talk about that. Gus has said that it might hurt him, somehow. I dunno."
human
Bar
gpt
Bar (western side)
A club wouldn't be a club if it didn't have a bar. The selection is written on a chalkboard behind the counter next to an educational poster.

The Sleaze is leaning on the counter, eyeing you and giving an occasional wink.

The barkeep is busy serving drinks to thirsty clubbers.
human
You give the vodka to Britney
gpt
"I can't like drink any booze, Jen! Gus says I tend to blurt out stuff I shouldn't say when I'm drunk," Britney says.
human
You go to the south
gpt
Bar (western side)
A club wouldn't be a club if it didn't have a bar. The selection is written on a chalkboard behind the counter next to an educational poster.

The Sleaze is leaning on the counter, eyeing you and giving an occasional wink.

The barkeep is busy serving drinks to thirsty clubbers.
human
Point at coke
gpt
You point at the cola in the menu. "Bartender! One cola!" the Sleaze declares and takes a stack of bills from his pocket. He counts the sum with grand gestures and pays for the drink. The bartender places the cola on the counter.
human
You take the coke
gpt
Taken.

"I bet your parents were angels, because I would like to..." the Sleaze says and ends the sentence with a short but vomit-inducing gesture show.
human
You pour the vodka into the coke
gpt
You pour the vodka into the cola and create black vodka cola.
human
You give cola to Britney
gpt
"Thanks Jen! It's, like, cola? Right?"

"Uh, yeah. It's like cola," you say.

"Ok, great!" She takes a gulp of the drink. "You know, Jen, we're like, we're like, we're like the BESTESTEST frriends EVER!" she stammers. Worst. Alcohol tolerance. Ever.
human
You talk to Britney
gpt
"Oh, hi Jen! We're just the bestest bee ef efs, aren't we?" She speaks fast and short segments, like a machine gun firing bursts of stupid. "I should like totally do your hair sometime, do you know this totally awesome conditioner..."

"...and then I was totally like, 'Like, are you like totally...'"

"...then we went for a burger and I said like, 'You know like how many calories those things have like?'..."

"...and we went to the aquarium, and Gus's mom just had to drag along..."

What? You snap out of the torpor your brain had induced to prevent any permanent damage. "What's that about Gus's momma?"

"Yeah, it was kinda drag but kinda funny too when she accidentally slipped into the dolphin pool. But scary too. Anyway, I had this totally cool sweater on I bought the other day and..."

That's it! That would like totally work! Er... gah, must get out of here before your wits are completely corrupted.
human
Inventory
gpt
You're carrying a taser and a handful of coins, and wearing a sweater, your street clothes, and a track jacket.
human
Floor
gpt
Dance floor (center of the club)
This is the center of the Compass Club. Most people don't orient themselves in relation to compass directions, but here it's more than natural. A huge compass rose is painted to the ceiling and the abbreviations of cardinal directions are painted on the walls.

To north there's the stage where you can challenge Gus by just climbing on to it. The club continues in every other direction.
human
You look at the rose
gpt
The compass rose painted on the ceiling makes it easy to know your bearings. You are now at the center of the club.
human
You examine the gum
gpt
The gum is moist and sticky.
human
You take the sweater
gpt
You already have that.
human
You look under the plant
gpt
(searching the plant)
You find nothing of interest.
human
You look under the machines
gpt
(searching the arcade machines)
There's nothing to find from the machines.
human
Tase vincent
gpt
(with the taser)
Vincent doesn't deserve zapping.
human
Go east
gpt
Entrance (southern side)
This is where you enter and leave the club.

A bouncer is standing next to the door with his arms crossed.

You spot a thermostat mounted on the wall next to the doors.
human
Tase bouncer
gpt
(with the taser)
The bouncer doesn't deserve zapping.
human
You tase yourself
gpt
(with the taser)
The situation is not that dire yet.
human
Go east
gpt
Dark corner (SE corner)
The sharp spotlights in this corner of the club create dark and gloomy shadows around the tables.

Joe Mahma sits behind a table holding a cigar.
human
You look under the table
gpt
(searching the corner table)
There is nothing on the corner table.
human
You talk to Joe
gpt
"Will you teach me the crane kick now?"

"Don't be daft, girl."
human
Hall of Fame
gpt
Hall of Fame (eastern side)
Just being here makes your heart beat faster. The walls are adorned by portraits of past champions, each of them a part of great history.

Norbert is here, busy searching his missing lens.

Ralph, one of Gus's goons, is sitting here with a satchel.

An old jukebox sits under the pictures.

Norbert goes west.
human
You look under the jukebox
gpt
(searching the jukebox)
You find nothing of interest.
human
Search
gpt
What do you want to search?
human
Norbert
gpt
Dance floor (center of the club)
This is the center of the Compass Club. Most people don't orient themselves in relation to compass directions, but here it's more than natural. A huge compass rose is painted to the ceiling and the abbreviations of cardinal directions are painted on the walls.

To north there's the stage where you can challenge Gus by just climbing on to it. The club continues in every other direction.

Norbert is standing here near the dance floor.
human
You talk to Norbert
gpt
"Where do you think the lens went?"

"Oh, it could be anywhere! Most likely it rolled under something."

Norbert tries to look under the table. "Ow, my back," he complains.
human
You look under the stage
gpt
(searching the stage)
You find nothing of interest.
human
You look under the chalkboard
gpt
(searching the drinks menu)
The drinks menu is out of reach.

The Sleaze dry-humps a bar stool.
human
You look under the loudspeaker
gpt
(searching the speaker)
Under the speaker near the wall you spot a bulging glass object. It can't be anything else than the lens from Norbert's glasses!
human
Hangout
gpt
Artist hangout (NE corner)
The people who are performing in the club usually hang around here by the stage.

A thick lens lies under the loudspeaker, just out of reach.

Gus stands here chatting with his posse.

A massive loudspeaker is booming tunes next to the stage.
human
Press techno
gpt
You push the "techno" button and a steady stream of low thump-thump-thump beats fill the air. The "rap" button pops back up.
human
Hangout
gpt
Artist hangout (NE corner)
The people who are performing in the club usually hang around here by the stage.

A thick lens lies under the loudspeaker, just out of reach.

Gus stands here chatting with his posse.

A massive loudspeaker is booming tunes next to the stage.

The loud bass tones make the lens under the speaker bounce up and down. At the same time it moves gradually more and more away from the wall until it's to your reach.
human
You take the lens
gpt
You reach under the speaker and grab the lens.
human
You look through the lens
gpt
The world looks distorted through the lens. And huge.
human
You look at tag through the lens
gpt
Through the lens the text on the tag would be large enough to read, but it's too dark here to make out the letters.

Norbert searches the table carefully but finds nothing.
human
You give the lens to Norbert
gpt
That's a nice thing to do, but the lens could be useful yet.

Norbert tries to look under the table. "Ow, my back," he complains.
human
Vip
gpt
VIP lounge (NW corner)
The area is reserved to those with VIP passes. There are cushy red sofas to sit on and you don't have to worry about drunken idiots crashing your table.

The guard is lying passed out on one of the sofas.

Britney, the bimbo girlfriend of Gus, sits on a couch looking bored.
human
You tase Sleaze
gpt
(with the taser)
You take the taser and thrust it in the Sleaze's ribs. "YeeOW! That's way too kinky for my tastes!"
human
Drink coke
gpt
You can't drink it.

"I bet your parents were angels, because I would like to..." the Sleaze says and ends the sentence with a short but vomit-inducing gesture show.
human
Inventory
gpt
You're carrying a lens, a taser, and a handful of coins, and wearing a sweater, your street clothes, and a track jacket.

The Sleaze licks a toothpick from his martini slowly from end to end, all the while looking you straight in the eyes.
human
Xyzzy
gpt
"Yo momma's so ugly, xyzzy..." No, that's not gonna work.
human
You talk to Sleaze
gpt
"Hey sweet-lips, can I buy you a drink? Just point at what you want from the menu and" -- he pauses to make a tongue-clicking and akimbo finger guns -- "it's yours."
human
You get the picture
gpt
Which do you mean, the Missy Maestro portrait, the Gus portrait, the Doc Stockholm portrait, the Hetty R portrait, the Slick Joe Mittens portrait, or the missing portrait?
human
Gus
gpt
The Gus portrait is out of reach.
human
You get missy
gpt
The Missy Maestro portrait is out of reach.
human
You examine missing
gpt
The first portrait is missing. It used to be the picture of Joe Mahma. The empty frame is a memorial of his defamation.
human
You examine the hetty r.
gpt
In the picture there's a thin older woman with a scarf around her head. "Hetty had time for the art even with three kids to feed. Just like Yo Momma who has three chins to feed."
human
You look at missy Maestro
gpt
The portrait is of a serious-looking girl with a collar shirt and blonde hair combed back. Below it reads: "Missy Maestro could command words like an orchestra, but nobody could command Yo Momma away from that third bucket of chicken."
human
You look at Doc Stockholm
gpt
The guy in the portrait wears a white jacket and rubber gloves. It reads: "Doc could tie your intestines to a knot with a single quip. Too bad for Yo Momma that he isn't a cosmetic surgeon."
human
You look at Slick Joe
gpt
The picture depicts a young bald guy with tattoos and hip hop clothes. The text says: "Slick Joe had his rhymes and his wits of which he let everyone have their share. Yo Momma has her tub-o-lard and that she never shares."
human
You look at Gus
gpt
Gus, that smug twit. The inscription reads: "They say to beat Gus in his game is an impossible task, but not as hard as raising a flag on Mount Yo Momma."
human
You get the frame
gpt
The missing portrait is out of reach.
human
Break gus
gpt
The Gus portrait is out of reach.
human
You throw taser at Gus
gpt
Futile.
human
Tase ralph
gpt
(with the taser)
Ralph doesn't deserve zapping.
human
Go south
gpt
Are you sure you want to quit?
human
You examine Sleaze
gpt
The Sleaze is an obnoxious mix of overconfidence and desperation in its mid-30s. He wears a cheap white suit with large collars and matching shoes. His shirt is unbuttoned halfway down showcasing an uneven patch of chest hair. A thick layer of grease keeps his hair combed back.

Norbert arrives from the east.
human
You examine the spotlights
gpt
The spotlights cover the tables in sharp light and at the same time leaving unlit areas in shadows.
human
You look at the tag
gpt
It's too dark to make out what it says on the tag. It looks important, or at least as important as a clothes tag ever can.
human
You put sweater on the table
gpt
(first taking it off)
(first taking off the jacket)
You put the sweater on the corner table. The spotlight lights it brightly.
human
You look at the tag through the lens
gpt
With sufficient light and magnification you can easily make out what it says on the tag. Washing instructions... wash separately... may release color... made for Cheap-O-Mart...

Wait, Cheap-O-Mart? Where they sell crap and imported knick-knacks to poor people?

Inspiration strikes you like a lightning. Gus, you're going down.
human
Norbert
gpt
Arcade corner (SW corner)
In this corner of the club there's a collection of arcade machines. This is where all the tough kids like to hang out.

Norbert is here, busy searching his missing lens.

Speaking of tough kids, Vincent is hacking away on one of the machines.

There's a tall plant standing in the corner.

Norbert goes north.
human
You go to the north
gpt
Bar (western side)
A club wouldn't be a club if it didn't have a bar. The selection is written on a chalkboard behind the counter next to an educational poster.

Norbert is here, busy searching his missing lens.

The Sleaze is leaning on the counter, eyeing you and giving an occasional wink.

The barkeep is busy serving drinks to thirsty clubbers.
human
You give the lens to Norbert
gpt
"I found your missing lens, Norbert."

His eyes light up. "Oh! Oh, thank you! I've been looking everywhere!" He takes the lens, snaps it into the frames and attaches it with a piece of white tape. "Thanks, Jen," he says and prances off.
human
%
gpt
"Yo momma's so old she had a pet dodo!"

Your heart is pounding and you find it hard to breathe. You didn't supect that the quips would hit this hard in real situation. Focus. Focus!

"Yo momma's so fat she has a lot of weight..."

Oh man. You didn't just say that. You did. Oh man.

The crowd starts booing and whistling. It's over. You blew it. Gus grins like a retard who has just plucked the last leg off a spider. You're not sure that you can find it in you to challenge him again.

You're standing dumbfounded and humiliated on the stage of the Compass Club. There's nothing left to do than to swallow your defeat and climb down the stage.
human
You examine Sleaze
gpt
The Sleaze is an obnoxious mix of overconfidence and desperation in its mid-30s. He wears a cheap white suit with large collars and matching shoes. His shirt is unbuttoned halfway down showcasing an uneven patch of chest hair. A thick layer of grease keeps his hair combed back.
human
You talk to Sleaze
gpt
"Hey sweet-lips, can I buy you a drink? Just point at what you want from the menu and" -- he pauses to make a tongue-clicking and akimbo finger guns -- "it's yours."
human
Point at beer
gpt
You point at the beer in the menu. "Bartender! One beer!" the Sleaze declares and takes a stack of bills from his pocket. He counts the sum with grand gestures and pays for the drink. The bartender places the beer on the counter.
human
You examine the beer
gpt
It's like liquid bread, so it must be healty.

"Why don't you know who an' you know who go you know where with you know what an' do you know what using you know what?" the Sleaze suggests. You do your best to ignore him.
human
You throw the beer at Sleaze
gpt
You splash the beer on the Sleaze.

"Playing hard to get is see," the Sleaze winks with the beer dripping down his face.
human
Inventory
gpt
You're carrying a glass of beer, a glass of cola, a lens, a taser, a handful of coins, and a track jacket, and wearing your street clothes.
human
You go to the south
gpt
Arcade corner (SW corner)
In this corner of the club there's a collection of arcade machines. This is where all the tough kids like to hang out.

Norbert is here, busy searching his missing lens.

Speaking of tough kids, Vincent is hacking away on one of the machines.

There's a tall plant standing in the corner.
human
You give the lens to Norbert
gpt
"I found your missing lens, Norbert."

His eyes light up. "Oh! Oh, thank you! I've been looking everywhere!" He takes the lens, snaps it into the frames and attaches it with a piece of white tape. "Thanks, Jen," he says and prances off.
human
%
gpt
"Yo momma's so fat when she gets up on the wrong side of the bed it's because she has to use the spare pulley!"

Your heart is pounding and you find it hard to breathe. You didn't supect that the quips would hit this hard in real situation. Focus. Focus!

"Yo momma's so stupid she has a low IQ..."

Oh man. You didn't just say that. You did. Oh man.

The crowd starts booing and whistling. It's over. You blew it. Gus grins like a retard who has just plucked the last leg off a spider. You're not sure that you can find it in you to challenge him again.

You're standing dumbfounded and humiliated on the stage of the Compass Club. There's nothing left to do than to swallow your defeat and climb down the stage.
human
You talk to Britney
gpt
She seems to be busy talking, not really paying attention to who is listening. It's unlikely she'll blurt out any more gems.
human
%
gpt
"Yo momma's so fat when they take aerial photos they have to ask her to move out of the way!"

Your heart is pounding and you find it hard to breathe. You didn't supect that the quips would hit this hard in real situation. Focus. Focus!

"Yo momma's so ugly because her face is so ugly..."

Oh man. You didn't just say that. You did. Oh man.

The crowd starts booing and whistling. It's over. You blew it. Gus grins like a retard who has just plucked the last leg off a spider. You're not sure that you can find it in you to challenge him again.

You're standing dumbfounded and humiliated on the stage of the Compass Club. There's nothing left to do than to swallow your defeat and climb down the stage.
human
Norbert
gpt
Arcade corner (SW corner)
In this corner of the club there's a collection of arcade machines. This is where all the tough kids like to hang out.

Norbert is here, busy searching his missing lens.

Speaking of tough kids, Vincent is hacking away on one of the machines.

There's a tall plant standing in the corner.

Norbert searches the plant carefully but finds nothing.
human
Arcade
gpt
You are already there.
human
Insult vincent
gpt
"Hey Vincent," you say. "Word on the street is that yo momma's so ugly that people say she doesn't look good."

Vincent stops in his tracks. You can hear gears turning in his head. He turns around, grabs you by the collar and lifts you in the air. "Who's been sayin' that? Talk ya little punk!"

?
human
You sleaze
gpt
"The greasehair over there? He's goin' to be picking his teeth from the floor in about five seconds," Vincent barks and storms into the bar. You witness a gruesome act that includes screaming, punching, and unhealthy amount of excruciating pain. You almost feel sorry for the Sleaze. Almost.

Vincent storms back, shaking his head. "What a weasel," he mutters and returns to his game.
human
Bar
gpt
Bar (western side)
A club wouldn't be a club if it didn't have a bar. The selection is written on a chalkboard behind the counter next to an educational poster.

The Sleaze is lying face down on the floor.

The barkeep is busy serving drinks to thirsty clubbers.

The Sleaze picks himself up from the floor and sways back to the counter. "Sheez, I wonder what that guy's problem was," he mutters.
human
You look at Sleaze
gpt
The Sleaze is an obnoxious mix of overconfidence and desperation in its mid-30s. He wears a cheap white suit with large collars and matching shoes. His shirt is unbuttoned halfway down showcasing an uneven patch of chest hair. A thick layer of grease keeps his hair combed back.
He looks quite ruffled after the Vincent incident.
human
You talk to Sleaze
gpt
"Hey sweet-lips, can I buy you a drink? Just point at what you want from the menu and" -- he pauses to make a tongue-clicking and akimbo finger guns -- "it's yours."
human
Insult vincent
gpt
"Hey Vincent," you say. "Word on the street is that yo momma's so fat she weighs a lot."

Vincent stops in his tracks. You can hear gears turning in his head. He turns around, grabs you by the collar and lifts you in the air. "Who's been sayin' that? Talk ya little punk!"

?
human
You sleaze
gpt
"That smug bastard again? He's goin' to be picking his teeth from the floor in about five seconds," Vincent barks and storms into the bar. You witness a gruesome act that includes screaming, punching, and unhealthy amount of excruciating pain. You almost feel sorry for the Sleaze. Almost.

Vincent storms back, shaking his head. "What a weasel," he mutters and returns to his game.
human
Bar
gpt
Bar (western side)
A club wouldn't be a club if it didn't have a bar. The selection is written on a chalkboard behind the counter next to an educational poster.

There's a business card lying on the floor.

The Sleaze is lying face down on the floor.

The barkeep is busy serving drinks to thirsty clubbers.

The Sleaze picks himself up from the floor and sways back to the counter. "I guess some people just can't handle my good looks," he mutters.
human
You take the card
gpt
Taken. The card must have fallen from the Sleaze's pocket when he fell to the ground.
human
%
gpt
"Yo momma's so fat when she went to the beach Greenpeace tried to throw her back into the ocean!"

Your heart is pounding and you find it hard to breathe. You didn't supect that the quips would hit this hard in real situation. Focus. Focus!

"Yo momma's so ugly that people say she doesn't look good..."

Oh man. You didn't just say that. You did. Oh man.

The crowd starts booing and whistling. It's over. You blew it. Gus grins like a retard who has just plucked the last leg off a spider. You're not sure that you can find it in you to challenge him again.

You're standing dumbfounded and humiliated on the stage of the Compass Club. There's nothing left to do than to swallow your defeat and climb down the stage.
human
You examine the card
gpt
(first picking it up)
Taken. The card must have fallen from the Sleaze's pocket when he fell to the ground.

It reads "Sleazeball McDouchebag, Junior Sales Assistant, Johnson's Used Cars and Auto Parts."
human
You scrape the gum with the card
gpt
You scrape the gum off. It's now on the business card.
human
You put the gum on the rap
gpt
You stick the bubblegum in and around the rap button.
human
%
gpt
"Yo momma's so fat she bought two tents and a coil of rope to make herself a bikini top!"

Your heart is pounding and you find it hard to breathe. You didn't supect that the quips would hit this hard in real situation. Focus. Focus!

"Yo momma's so stupid she has a low IQ..."

Oh man. You didn't just say that. You did. Oh man.

The crowd starts booing and whistling. It's over. You blew it. Gus grins like a retard who has just plucked the last leg off a spider. You're not sure that you can find it in you to challenge him again.

You're standing dumbfounded and humiliated on the stage of the Compass Club. There's nothing left to do than to swallow your defeat and climb down the stage.
human
You open satchel
gpt
You open the satchel, revealing some books and a wallet.

Ralph puts a coin into the jukebox and pushes the rap button.

Ralph returns from the jukebox.

"Hey, are you messing with Gus's bag? Get out of here, twerp!" Ralph says and pushes you away.
human
%
gpt
"Yo momma's so fat when she gets up on the wrong side of the bed it's because she has to use the spare pulley!"

Your heart is pounding and you find it hard to breathe. You didn't supect that the quips would hit this hard in real situation. Focus. Focus!

"Yo momma's so fat she has a lot of weight..."

Oh man. You didn't just say that. You did. Oh man.

The crowd starts booing and whistling. It's over. You blew it. Gus grins like a retard who has just plucked the last leg off a spider. You're not sure that you can find it in you to challenge him again.

You're standing dumbfounded and humiliated on the stage of the Compass Club. There's nothing left to do than to swallow your defeat and climb down the stage.
human
You take the gum
gpt
(with the business card)
You scrape the gum off. It's now on the business card.
human
You put the gum on the ass
gpt
You stick the bubblegum in and around the classical button.
human
You open the satchel
gpt
You open the satchel, revealing some books and a wallet.

"Hey! What's wrong with this stupid machine?" Ralph swears and pounds on the jukebox buttons.
human
Examine books
gpt
Let's see, a Jack Mills pocket book... something about gardening... man, he reads crappy books too.

"Stupid piece of junk," Ralph says.
human
You examine the wallet
gpt
Huh, it's Gus's wallet. Might be interesting.

Ralph has a fit and pounds himself instead of the jukebox.
human
You open the wallet
gpt
You go through the wallet quckily and discover a photograph. Looks like... well, it's an ugly old hag... wait, could it be Gus's momma?

Yes! It must be! She has this horrible wart in the middle of her face... Now that just gets your creative juices moving, not to mention your dinner. You quickly replace the picture and the wallet.

Ralph finally gets the bubblegum scraped off the button and gets the music changed. He comes back to his seat, steaming from the ears.

"Hey, are you messing with Gus's bag? Get out of here, twerp!" Ralph says and pushes you away.
human
Facts
gpt
Did you know that...
...Yo momma's so fat NASA has a satellite in orbit around her?
...Yo momma's so stupid she needs a dictionary to read the alphabet? ...Yo momma's so ugly they filmed "Gorillas in the Mist" in her shower?
...Yo momma's so stupid she got lost in the desert and drowned?
...Yo momma's so ugly a grue refused to eat her?
...Yo momma's so fat she drove three all-you-can-eat buffets into bankruptcy - in one night?
...Yo momma's so ugly she makes onions cry?
...Yo momma's so stupid she lost count while counting to one?
...Yo momma's so fat her chins have different area codes?
...Yo momma's so fat she bought two tents and a coil of rope to make herself a bikini top?
...Yo momma's so old she had a pet dodo?
...Yo momma's so fat she's likely to be half-eaten by a grue?
...Yo momma's so fat when she went to the beach Greenpeace tried to throw her back into the ocean?
...Yo momma's so fat when she walks on the road she's legally classified as a semi-truck?
...Yo momma's so fat when she switches her watch to the other hand
she has to set it to a new time zone?
...Yo momma's so stupid she got locked inside a grocery store and starved?
...Yo momma's so stupid she got stabbed in a shootout?
...Yo momma's so ugly she's the control at the ugly stick factory? ...Yo momma's so stupid she got run over by a parked car?
...Yo momma's so stupid she saw a "wet floor" sign and did it?
...Yo momma's so fat when they take aerial photos they have to ask
her to move out of the way?
...Yo momma's so fat when she gets up on the wrong side of the bed it's because she has to use the spare pulley?

And that...
...Yo momma's so fat she don't fit in Z-machine?

Would you like to RESTART, RESTORE a saved game, QUIT, see your full SCORE, or read some painful FACTS of life?