system
You are the dungeon master of a text adventure game. The game should involve the following genres and tags:
Humor, parser,speed IF,Speed-IF 2001,SpeedIF,SpeedIF January 2001,walkthrough
gpt
TOOTH OW ZUNDEN WON!

The "Screaming Yak" Curd Diner
One of Io's more successful chains, the Screaming Yak serves the best curd around, and remains popular despite the hamster infestation that has plagued it for almost eight years. The glass double-doors that open out into the moon's surface are to the east, while a door marked "NO ENTRY" lies to the south.

A surly person is standing behind the counter. His name tag says "HELLO. My name is BRUTUS THE CHIHUAHUA."

A menu is hanging on the wall.
human
About yourself
gpt
As good-looking as ever.
human
You look at the menu
gpt
Please make your order by kissing the attendant the number of times given for the item.
(3) DOLLOP OF GENERIC CURD
(42) CURD WITH CROUTONS
(88) LESSER-BUTTOCKED VENUSIAN SNAIL SALAD
(6) GRAPE

We guarantee that our curd is made with the finest generic ingredients available on Io.
human
Kiss brutus 88 times
gpt
You smooch the surly person behind the counter eighty-eight times.

"We're out of lesser-buttocked Venusian snail." says Brutus.
human
Kiss brutus 42 times
gpt
You smooch the surly person behind the counter forty-two times.

"The crouton machine's busted."
human
Kiss brutus 6 times
gpt
You smooch the surly person behind the counter six times.

Brutus hands you a grape.
human
Grape
gpt
Ok.
human
You eat the grape
gpt
You find a fun prize razorblade inside.
human
Kiss brutus 3 times
gpt
You smooch the surly person behind the counter three times.

Brutus grabs a handful of curd from somewhere and chucks it straight into your inventory.
human
You examine the curd
gpt
You can't fail to deny it doesn't look unappetizing.

You feel something brush against your leg. You look down, to see a tiny hamster scuffling about at your feet.
human
You take the hamster
gpt
Taken.

The hamster nibbles at the curd in your hand.
human
Kiss brutus 999 times
gpt
You smooch the surly person behind the counter nine hundred and ninety-nine times.

The hamster nibbles at the curd in your hand.
human
Look around
gpt
The "Screaming Yak" Curd Diner
One of Io's more successful chains, the Screaming Yak serves the best curd around, and remains popular despite the hamster infestation that has plagued it for almost eight years. The glass double-doors that open out into the moon's surface are to the east, while a door marked "NO ENTRY" lies to the south.

A surly person is standing behind the counter. His name tag says "HELLO. My name is BRUTUS THE CHIHUAHUA."

A menu is hanging on the wall.

The hamster nibbles at the curd in your hand.
human
Go east
gpt
The doors appear to have been sealed with dried curd.

The hamster nibbles at the curd in your hand.
human
You go south
gpt
Brutus pulls you back. "Employees only," he mutters.

The hamster nibbles at the curd in your hand.
human
You ask Brutus about the diner
gpt
"Don't you want to ask me about the hamsters?"

The hamster nibbles at the curd in your hand.
human
You ask Brutus about the hamsters
gpt
"It's the curd. They love the stuff, the vermin bastards. That's why we've all been issued these aerosol cans."

The hamster nibbles at the curd in your hand.
human
You cut the curd
gpt
What do you want to cut the dollop of curd with?
human
Blade
gpt
Cutting that up would achieve little.

The hamster nibbles at the curd in your hand.
human
You put the hamster on the curd
gpt
Putting things on the dollop of curd would achieve nothing.

The hamster nibbles at the curd in your hand.
human
You throw the hamster at Brutus
gpt
Brutus pulls an aerosol can behind the counter and sprays the hamster with it. The hamster disintegrates with a shriek. Brutus puts the aerosol can on the counter.
human
You look at the can
gpt
Mmm, CFCs.
human
You get it
gpt
Mmm, CFCs.

Brutus stops you. "I need that for the hamsters."
human
You cut Brutus with the blade
gpt
Cutting him up would achieve little.
human
You show the blade to Brutus
gpt
The surly person behind the counter is unimpressed.
human
You describe your surroundings
gpt
The "Screaming Yak" Curd Diner
One of Io's more successful chains, the Screaming Yak serves the best curd around, and remains popular despite the hamster infestation that has plagued it for almost eight years. The glass double-doors that open out into the moon's surface are to the east, while a door marked "NO ENTRY" lies to the south.

On the counter is an aluminium... oh, all right, aluminum
aerosol can.

A surly person is standing behind the counter. His name tag says "HELLO. My name is BRUTUS THE CHIHUAHUA."

A menu is hanging on the wall.
human
You cut the menu
gpt
(with the razor blade)
Cutting that up would achieve little.
human
You cut can
gpt
(with the razor blade)
You slash the can with the razor blade. A cloud of green gas spews out, and floats upwards. It hits the ceiling, which crumples to dust, allowing several tons of croutons to drop down from the floor above onto Brutus's head. He never stood a chance.
human
You get the croutons
gpt
There's too much here to take in one go.
human
You check what you're carrying
gpt
You are carrying:
a razor blade
human
You go north
gpt
The "Screaming Yak" Curd Diner

There is a huge pile of croutons right where that Brutus guy was standing.

On the counter is an aluminium... oh, all right, aluminum
aerosol can.

A menu is hanging on the wall.
human
Yes
gpt
That was a rhetorical question.
human
You get can
gpt
Taken.
human
You eat the croutons
gpt
(first taking the gigantic stack of croutons)
There's too much here to take in one go.
human
You look at the can
gpt
Mmm, CFCs.
human
You take the can
gpt
You already have that.
human
You build the ladder
gpt
What do you want to build ladder from?
human
Examine menu
gpt
On the back you find full instructions for building a sturdy ladder from croutons.
human
You build the ladder from the croutons
gpt
You rapidly assemble a ladder from the croutons.
human
You drop the ladder
gpt
Dropped.
human
You climb the ladder
gpt
You climb the ladder, and enter the hole.