system
You are the dungeon master of a text adventure game. The game should involve the following genres and tags:
Comedy, castle,Comedy,cover art,gender-neutral protagonist,humor,humour,I7 source available,male protagonist,One-Room Game Competition 2008,parody,puzzles,silly,single room,superhero,Xyzzy Awards 2008
gpt
"We'll have to split up. I'll go after the bombers, you find the fastest way out of here. Tell the President he has to evacuate, immediately!"

Those were the last words you heard from Captain McBrawn before he rode away hanging on the skid of a helicopter with one hand, his muscular arm gleaming in the light of the setting sun. It is up to you now to find your way to the President of the World and warn him of the impending attack. Finally, some responsibility after all these years!

You descend from the rooftop planning the trip to the drop-off point. At the base of the building the Screaming Communists capture you. Figures.

A group of stern, vicious looking Screaming Communists march through the barren land, dragging you behind them. Their destination is a gloomy medieval castle. The commander shouts orders to one of the soldiers who grabs you by the collar of your sweater and escorts you inside.

After a long climb through dark corridors and endless staircases the guard throws you in a dark, cold cell and slams the door shut. A chill runs down your spine and desperation starts to creep in.

Escapade!

This game is free software. Type LICENSE for details.

The moonlight gives dim illumination to the front part of the cell, leaving the opposite wall completely in the dark. There's an unlit light bulb hanging from the ceiling and a heavy steel door on the wall opposite to the barred window, but the room is otherwise featureless.

You can barely make out the outlines of some dark shapes in one dark corner of the cell.

(For more information about the game, type ABOUT.)
human
About you
gpt
You're the hero of the day, the man everyone looks up to, the uncontested champion of the Free World, the celebrated superstar - Captain McBrawn.

Or at least you would like to be. The truth is that you are Scotty, Captain McBrawn's short and a bit round sidekick. You have followed him on his adventures and helped him mostly by staying out of his way, but now you have a mission of your own.

You are carrying a photograph and wearing your adventuring clothes.
human
Inventory
gpt
You are carrying a photograph and wearing your adventuring clothes.
human
You look at the photograph
gpt
It's a postcard sized signed photograph of Captain McBrawn. You carry it with you everywhere you go and it's beginning to show the wear and tear.
human
You examine the shapes
gpt
There's something very unnerving in the darkest corner of the cell... You can see the outlines of a round lumpy object and another, taller figure almost your size.

It's as if the taller shape just moved a bit. You hold back a whimper.
human
You examine the shapes
gpt
You are wearing a pair of green pocketless pants and a gray wool sweater. Your adventuring clothes - that's what mom said when she bought them. They've turned out being not very well suited for the purpose though. They're very thick and a bit too big.

You daren't look anymore. Maybe they'll go away.
human
Options
gpt
When the game prints a word that can be used as a discussion topic with other characters, it will be highlighted for the first time. Here's an example of a highlighted word using your current settings: keyword

Select a new highlight style below and press Q to return. Note that not all interpreters support every highlighting style; choose the one that works for you.

> bold keywords
yellow keywords
blue keywords
green keywords
red keywords
-dashed- keywords
/slashed/ keywords
*starred* keywords
no keyword highlighting
human
P.
gpt
When the game prints a word that can be used as a discussion topic with other characters, it will be highlighted for the first time. Here's an example of a highlighted word using your current settings: keyword

Select a new highlight style below and press Q to return. Note that not all interpreters support every highlighting style; choose the one that works for you.

> bold keywords
yellow keywords
blue keywords
green keywords
red keywords
-dashed- keywords
/slashed/ keywords
*starred* keywords
no keyword highlighting

When the game prints a word that can be used as a discussion topic with other characters, it will be highlighted for the first time. Here's an example of a highlighted word using your current settings: keyword

Select a new highlight style below and press Q to return. Note that not all interpreters support every highlighting style; choose the one that works for you.

> bold keywords
yellow keywords
blue keywords
green keywords
red keywords
-dashed- keywords
/slashed/ keywords
*starred* keywords
no keyword highlighting
human
Go north
gpt
When the game prints a word that can be used as a discussion topic with other characters, it will be highlighted for the first time. Here's an example of a highlighted word using your current settings: keyword

Select a new highlight style below and press Q to return. Note that not all interpreters support every highlighting style; choose the one that works for you.

> yellow keywords
blue keywords
green keywords
red keywords
-dashed- keywords
/slashed/ keywords
*starred* keywords
no keyword highlighting

When the game prints a word that can be used as a discussion topic with other characters, it will be highlighted for the first time. Here's an example of a highlighted word using your current settings: keyword

Select a new highlight style below and press Q to return. Note that not all interpreters support every highlighting style; choose the one that works for you.

> yellow keywords
blue keywords
green keywords
red keywords
-dashed- keywords
/slashed/ keywords
*starred* keywords
no keyword highlighting
human
Go north
gpt
When the game prints a word that can be used as a discussion topic with other characters, it will be highlighted for the first time. Here's an example of a highlighted word using your current settings: keyword

Select a new highlight style below and press Q to return. Note that not all interpreters support every highlighting style; choose the one that works for you.

> blue keywords
green keywords
red keywords
-dashed- keywords
/slashed/ keywords
*starred* keywords
no keyword highlighting

When the game prints a word that can be used as a discussion topic with other characters, it will be highlighted for the first time. Here's an example of a highlighted word using your current settings: keyword

Select a new highlight style below and press Q to return. Note that not all interpreters support every highlighting style; choose the one that works for you.

> blue keywords
green keywords
red keywords
-dashed- keywords
/slashed/ keywords
*starred* keywords
no keyword highlighting
human
Go north
gpt
When the game prints a word that can be used as a discussion topic with other characters, it will be highlighted for the first time. Here's an example of a highlighted word using your current settings: keyword

Select a new highlight style below and press Q to return. Note that not all interpreters support every highlighting style; choose the one that works for you.

blue keywords
> green keywords
red keywords
-dashed- keywords
/slashed/ keywords
*starred* keywords
no keyword highlighting

When the game prints a word that can be used as a discussion topic with other characters, it will be highlighted for the first time. Here's an example of a highlighted word using your current settings: keyword

Select a new highlight style below and press Q to return. Note that not all interpreters support every highlighting style; choose the one that works for you.

blue keywords
> green keywords
red keywords
-dashed- keywords
/slashed/ keywords
*starred* keywords
no keyword highlighting
human
You go north
gpt
When the game prints a word that can be used as a discussion topic with other characters, it will be highlighted for the first time. Here's an example of a highlighted word using your current settings: keyword

Select a new highlight style below and press Q to return. Note that not all interpreters support every highlighting style; choose the one that works for you.

blue keywords
green keywords
> red keywords
-dashed- keywords
/slashed/ keywords
*starred* keywords
no keyword highlighting

When the game prints a word that can be used as a discussion topic with other characters, it will be highlighted for the first time. Here's an example of a highlighted word using your current settings: keyword

Select a new highlight style below and press Q to return. Note that not all interpreters support every highlighting style; choose the one that works for you.

blue keywords
green keywords
> red keywords
-dashed- keywords
/slashed/ keywords
*starred* keywords
no keyword highlighting
human
Go north
gpt
When the game prints a word that can be used as a discussion topic with other characters, it will be highlighted for the first time. Here's an example of a highlighted word using your current settings: keyword

Select a new highlight style below and press Q to return. Note that not all interpreters support every highlighting style; choose the one that works for you.

blue keywords
green keywords
red keywords
> -dashed- keywords
/slashed/ keywords
*starred* keywords
no keyword highlighting

When the game prints a word that can be used as a discussion topic with other characters, it will be highlighted for the first time. Here's an example of a highlighted word using your current settings: keyword

Select a new highlight style below and press Q to return. Note that not all interpreters support every highlighting style; choose the one that works for you.

blue keywords
green keywords
red keywords
> -dashed- keywords
/slashed/ keywords
*starred* keywords
no keyword highlighting
human
You go to the north
gpt
When the game prints a word that can be used as a discussion topic with other characters, it will be highlighted for the first time. Here's an example of a highlighted word using your current settings: keyword

Select a new highlight style below and press Q to return. Note that not all interpreters support every highlighting style; choose the one that works for you.

blue keywords
green keywords
red keywords
-dashed- keywords
> /slashed/ keywords
*starred* keywords
no keyword highlighting

When the game prints a word that can be used as a discussion topic with other characters, it will be highlighted for the first time. Here's an example of a highlighted word using your current settings: keyword

Select a new highlight style below and press Q to return. Note that not all interpreters support every highlighting style; choose the one that works for you.

blue keywords
green keywords
red keywords
-dashed- keywords
> /slashed/ keywords
*starred* keywords
no keyword highlighting
human
You go north
gpt
When the game prints a word that can be used as a discussion topic with other characters, it will be highlighted for the first time. Here's an example of a highlighted word using your current settings: keyword

Select a new highlight style below and press Q to return. Note that not all interpreters support every highlighting style; choose the one that works for you.

blue keywords
green keywords
red keywords
-dashed- keywords
/slashed/ keywords
> *starred* keywords
no keyword highlighting

When the game prints a word that can be used as a discussion topic with other characters, it will be highlighted for the first time. Here's an example of a highlighted word using your current settings: keyword

Select a new highlight style below and press Q to return. Note that not all interpreters support every highlighting style; choose the one that works for you.

blue keywords
green keywords
red keywords
-dashed- keywords
/slashed/ keywords
> *starred* keywords
no keyword highlighting
human
You look at the shapes
gpt
You daren't look anymore. Maybe they'll go away.
human
Scream
gpt
The rectangle on the cell door slides open and a pair of beady eyes appear behind it. "WHAT is all this RACKET?" a loud voice behind the door says.

"Help! You have to get me out of here!" you beg.

"HA! HA! WHY would I do THAT? I'M THE GUARD, I'M SUPPOSED TO KEEP YOU INSIDE!" the voice roars.
human
Options
gpt
When the game prints a word that can be used as a discussion topic with other characters, it will be highlighted for the first time. Here's an example of a highlighted word using your current settings: keyword

Select a new highlight style below and press Q to return. Note that not all interpreters support every highlighting style; choose the one that works for you.

> bold keywords
yellow keywords
blue keywords
green keywords
red keywords
-dashed- keywords
/slashed/ keywords
*starred* keywords
no keyword highlighting
human
P.
gpt
When the game prints a word that can be used as a discussion topic with other characters, it will be highlighted for the first time. Here's an example of a highlighted word using your current settings: keyword

Select a new highlight style below and press Q to return. Note that not all interpreters support every highlighting style; choose the one that works for you.

> bold keywords
yellow keywords
blue keywords
green keywords
red keywords
-dashed- keywords
/slashed/ keywords
*starred* keywords
no keyword highlighting

When the game prints a word that can be used as a discussion topic with other characters, it will be highlighted for the first time. Here's an example of a highlighted word using your current settings: keyword

Select a new highlight style below and press Q to return. Note that not all interpreters support every highlighting style; choose the one that works for you.

> bold keywords
yellow keywords
blue keywords
green keywords
red keywords
-dashed- keywords
/slashed/ keywords
*starred* keywords
no keyword highlighting
human
Go north
gpt
When the game prints a word that can be used as a discussion topic with other characters, it will be highlighted for the first time. Here's an example of a highlighted word using your current settings: keyword

Select a new highlight style below and press Q to return. Note that not all interpreters support every highlighting style; choose the one that works for you.

> yellow keywords
blue keywords
green keywords
red keywords
-dashed- keywords
/slashed/ keywords
*starred* keywords
no keyword highlighting

When the game prints a word that can be used as a discussion topic with other characters, it will be highlighted for the first time. Here's an example of a highlighted word using your current settings: keyword

Select a new highlight style below and press Q to return. Note that not all interpreters support every highlighting style; choose the one that works for you.

> yellow keywords
blue keywords
green keywords
red keywords
-dashed- keywords
/slashed/ keywords
*starred* keywords
no keyword highlighting
human
Go north
gpt
When the game prints a word that can be used as a discussion topic with other characters, it will be highlighted for the first time. Here's an example of a highlighted word using your current settings: keyword

Select a new highlight style below and press Q to return. Note that not all interpreters support every highlighting style; choose the one that works for you.

> blue keywords
green keywords
red keywords
-dashed- keywords
/slashed/ keywords
*starred* keywords
no keyword highlighting

When the game prints a word that can be used as a discussion topic with other characters, it will be highlighted for the first time. Here's an example of a highlighted word using your current settings: keyword

Select a new highlight style below and press Q to return. Note that not all interpreters support every highlighting style; choose the one that works for you.

> blue keywords
green keywords
red keywords
-dashed- keywords
/slashed/ keywords
*starred* keywords
no keyword highlighting
human
You go to the north
gpt
When the game prints a word that can be used as a discussion topic with other characters, it will be highlighted for the first time. Here's an example of a highlighted word using your current settings: keyword

Select a new highlight style below and press Q to return. Note that not all interpreters support every highlighting style; choose the one that works for you.

blue keywords
> green keywords
red keywords
-dashed- keywords
/slashed/ keywords
*starred* keywords
no keyword highlighting

When the game prints a word that can be used as a discussion topic with other characters, it will be highlighted for the first time. Here's an example of a highlighted word using your current settings: keyword

Select a new highlight style below and press Q to return. Note that not all interpreters support every highlighting style; choose the one that works for you.

blue keywords
> green keywords
red keywords
-dashed- keywords
/slashed/ keywords
*starred* keywords
no keyword highlighting

When the game prints a word that can be used as a discussion topic with other characters, it will be highlighted for the first time. Here's an example of a highlighted word using your current settings: keyword

Select a new highlight style below and press Q to return. Note that not all interpreters support every highlighting style; choose the one that works for you.

blue keywords
green keywords
> red keywords
-dashed- keywords
/slashed/ keywords
*starred* keywords
no keyword highlighting

When the game prints a word that can be used as a discussion topic with other characters, it will be highlighted for the first time. Here's an example of a highlighted word using your current settings: keyword

Select a new highlight style below and press Q to return. Note that not all interpreters support every highlighting style; choose the one that works for you.

blue keywords
green keywords
> red keywords
-dashed- keywords
/slashed/ keywords
*starred* keywords
no keyword highlighting
human
Go north
gpt
When the game prints a word that can be used as a discussion topic with other characters, it will be highlighted for the first time. Here's an example of a highlighted word using your current settings: keyword

Select a new highlight style below and press Q to return. Note that not all interpreters support every highlighting style; choose the one that works for you.

blue keywords
green keywords
red keywords
> -dashed- keywords
/slashed/ keywords
*starred* keywords
no keyword highlighting

When the game prints a word that can be used as a discussion topic with other characters, it will be highlighted for the first time. Here's an example of a highlighted word using your current settings: keyword

Select a new highlight style below and press Q to return. Note that not all interpreters support every highlighting style; choose the one that works for you.

blue keywords
green keywords
red keywords
> -dashed- keywords
/slashed/ keywords
*starred* keywords
no keyword highlighting
human
You go to the north
gpt
When the game prints a word that can be used as a discussion topic with other characters, it will be highlighted for the first time. Here's an example of a highlighted word using your current settings: keyword

Select a new highlight style below and press Q to return. Note that not all interpreters support every highlighting style; choose the one that works for you.

blue keywords
green keywords
red keywords
-dashed- keywords
> /slashed/ keywords
*starred* keywords
no keyword highlighting

When the game prints a word that can be used as a discussion topic with other characters, it will be highlighted for the first time. Here's an example of a highlighted word using your current settings: keyword

Select a new highlight style below and press Q to return. Note that not all interpreters support every highlighting style; choose the one that works for you.

blue keywords
green keywords
red keywords
-dashed- keywords
> /slashed/ keywords
*starred* keywords
no keyword highlighting
human
Go north
gpt
When the game prints a word that can be used as a discussion topic with other characters, it will be highlighted for the first time. Here's an example of a highlighted word using your current settings: keyword

Select a new highlight style below and press Q to return. Note that not all interpreters support every highlighting style; choose the one that works for you.

blue keywords
green keywords
red keywords
-dashed- keywords
/slashed/ keywords
> *starred* keywords
no keyword highlighting

When the game prints a word that can be used as a discussion topic with other characters, it will be highlighted for the first time. Here's an example of a highlighted word using your current settings: keyword

Select a new highlight style below and press Q to return. Note that not all interpreters support every highlighting style; choose the one that works for you.

blue keywords
green keywords
red keywords
-dashed- keywords
/slashed/ keywords
> *starred* keywords
no keyword highlighting
When the game prints a word that can be used as a discussion topic with other characters, it will be highlighted for the first time. Here's an example of a highlighted word using your current settings: *keyword*

Select a new highlight style below and press Q to return. Note that not all interpreters support every highlighting style; choose the one that works for you.

blue keywords
green keywords
red keywords
-dashed- keywords
/slashed/ keywords
> *starred* keywords
no keyword highlighting

When the game prints a word that can be used as a discussion topic with other characters, it will be highlighted for the first time. Here's an example of a highlighted word using your current settings: *keyword*

Select a new highlight style below and press Q to return. Note that not all interpreters support every highlighting style; choose the one that works for you.

blue keywords
green keywords
red keywords
-dashed- keywords
/slashed/ keywords
> *starred* keywords
no keyword highlighting
human
Options
gpt
When the game prints a word that can be used as a discussion topic with other characters, it will be highlighted for the first time. Here's an example of a highlighted word using your current settings: *keyword*

Select a new highlight style below and press Q to return. Note that not all interpreters support every highlighting style; choose the one that works for you.

> bold keywords
yellow keywords
blue keywords
green keywords
red keywords
-dashed- keywords
/slashed/ keywords
*starred* keywords
no keyword highlighting
human
Go north
gpt
When the game prints a word that can be used as a discussion topic with other characters, it will be highlighted for the first time. Here's an example of a highlighted word using your current settings: *keyword*

Select a new highlight style below and press Q to return. Note that not all interpreters support every highlighting style; choose the one that works for you.

> yellow keywords
blue keywords
green keywords
red keywords
-dashed- keywords
/slashed/ keywords
*starred* keywords
no keyword highlighting

When the game prints a word that can be used as a discussion topic with other characters, it will be highlighted for the first time. Here's an example of a highlighted word using your current settings: *keyword*

Select a new highlight style below and press Q to return. Note that not all interpreters support every highlighting style; choose the one that works for you.

> yellow keywords
blue keywords
green keywords
red keywords
-dashed- keywords
/slashed/ keywords
*starred* keywords
no keyword highlighting
human
Go north
gpt
When the game prints a word that can be used as a discussion topic with other characters, it will be highlighted for the first time. Here's an example of a highlighted word using your current settings: *keyword*

Select a new highlight style below and press Q to return. Note that not all interpreters support every highlighting style; choose the one that works for you.

> blue keywords
green keywords
red keywords
-dashed- keywords
/slashed/ keywords
*starred* keywords
no keyword highlighting

When the game prints a word that can be used as a discussion topic with other characters, it will be highlighted for the first time. Here's an example of a highlighted word using your current settings: *keyword*

Select a new highlight style below and press Q to return. Note that not all interpreters support every highlighting style; choose the one that works for you.

> blue keywords
green keywords
red keywords
-dashed- keywords
/slashed/ keywords
*starred* keywords
no keyword highlighting
human
Go north
gpt
When the game prints a word that can be used as a discussion topic with other characters, it will be highlighted for the first time. Here's an example of a highlighted word using your current settings: *keyword*

Select a new highlight style below and press Q to return. Note that not all interpreters support every highlighting style; choose the one that works for you.

blue keywords
> green keywords
red keywords
-dashed- keywords
/slashed/ keywords
*starred* keywords
no keyword highlighting

When the game prints a word that can be used as a discussion topic with other characters, it will be highlighted for the first time. Here's an example of a highlighted word using your current settings: *keyword*

Select a new highlight style below and press Q to return. Note that not all interpreters support every highlighting style; choose the one that works for you.

blue keywords
> green keywords
red keywords
-dashed- keywords
/slashed/ keywords
*starred* keywords
no keyword highlighting
human
Go north
gpt
When the game prints a word that can be used as a discussion topic with other characters, it will be highlighted for the first time. Here's an example of a highlighted word using your current settings: *keyword*

Select a new highlight style below and press Q to return. Note that not all interpreters support every highlighting style; choose the one that works for you.

blue keywords
green keywords
> red keywords
-dashed- keywords
/slashed/ keywords
*starred* keywords
no keyword highlighting

When the game prints a word that can be used as a discussion topic with other characters, it will be highlighted for the first time. Here's an example of a highlighted word using your current settings: *keyword*

Select a new highlight style below and press Q to return. Note that not all interpreters support every highlighting style; choose the one that works for you.

blue keywords
green keywords
> red keywords
-dashed- keywords
/slashed/ keywords
*starred* keywords
no keyword highlighting
human
You go north
gpt
When the game prints a word that can be used as a discussion topic with other characters, it will be highlighted for the first time. Here's an example of a highlighted word using your current settings: *keyword*

Select a new highlight style below and press Q to return. Note that not all interpreters support every highlighting style; choose the one that works for you.

blue keywords
green keywords
red keywords
> -dashed- keywords
/slashed/ keywords
*starred* keywords
no keyword highlighting

When the game prints a word that can be used as a discussion topic with other characters, it will be highlighted for the first time. Here's an example of a highlighted word using your current settings: *keyword*

Select a new highlight style below and press Q to return. Note that not all interpreters support every highlighting style; choose the one that works for you.

blue keywords
green keywords
red keywords
> -dashed- keywords
/slashed/ keywords
*starred* keywords
no keyword highlighting
When the game prints a word that can be used as a discussion topic with other characters, it will be highlighted for the first time. Here's an example of a highlighted word using your current settings: -keyword-

Select a new highlight style below and press Q to return. Note that not all interpreters support every highlighting style; choose the one that works for you.

blue keywords
green keywords
red keywords
> -dashed- keywords
/slashed/ keywords
*starred* keywords
no keyword highlighting

When the game prints a word that can be used as a discussion topic with other characters, it will be highlighted for the first time. Here's an example of a highlighted word using your current settings: -keyword-

Select a new highlight style below and press Q to return. Note that not all interpreters support every highlighting style; choose the one that works for you.

blue keywords
green keywords
red keywords
> -dashed- keywords
/slashed/ keywords
*starred* keywords
no keyword highlighting
human
You examine the clothes
gpt
You are wearing a pair of green pocketless pants and a gray wool sweater. Your adventuring clothes - that's what mom said when she bought them. They've turned out being not very well suited for the purpose though. They're very thick and a bit too big.
human
You ask the guard to turn on the lights
gpt
There is no reply.

"WELL if you DIDN'T HAVE anything else," the guard shouts and closes the eyehole.
human
You look at the shapes
gpt
You daren't look anymore. Maybe they'll go away.
human
You remove the sweater
gpt
You strip naked.
human
About yourself
gpt
You are Scotty, Captain McBrawn's short and a bit round sidekick. You have followed him on his adventures and helped him mostly by staying out of his way, but now you have a mission of your own.

You are carrying a photograph and wearing nothing.

Also, your adventuring clothes are on the floor.
human
Smell
gpt
The air smells weird, like the cell has never been cleaned.
human
Hello
gpt
"Hello? Anyone?" you say quietly but get no answer.
human
You examine the floor
gpt
The stone floor is a dirty and cold.
human
You examine walls
gpt
The gray stone walls surround you from all directions.
human
You examine the ceiling
gpt
The ceiling is far above the ground. There's a largish square up in the ceiling on one side.
human
You examine the square
gpt
There's a largish square up in the ceiling on one side.
human
You examine the bulb
gpt
The light bulb is hanging low on an electrical wire. It is unlit.
human
You examine the picture
gpt
It's a postcard sized signed photograph of Captain McBrawn. You carry it with you everywhere you go and it's beginning to show the wear and tear.
human
You examine the window
gpt
The window is nothing but a hole in the wall with three iron bars running across it. Through it you see a beautiful moonlit night sky.
human
You examine bars
gpt
Three iron bars prevent anyone from climbing out the window.
human
You look
gpt
The moonlight gives dim illumination to the front part of the cell, leaving the opposite wall completely in the dark. There's an unlit light bulb hanging from the ceiling and a heavy steel door on the wall opposite to the barred window, but the room is otherwise featureless.

You can barely make out the outlines of some dark shapes in one dark corner of the cell.

The light is just enough for you to see the adventuring clothes on the floor.
human
You pull the bulb
gpt
The bulb comes easily out from its socket. It was screwed in only very slightly.
human
You knock on the door
gpt
The rectangle on the cell door slides open and a pair of beady eyes appear behind it. "WHAT is all this RACKET?" a loud voice behind the door says. After a short pause the voice goes: "WHAT THE... are you NAKED IN THERE?"
human
Yes
gpt
The guard refuses.
human
You ask the guard about the light
gpt
(the light bulb)
"Could you please switch the light on?" you ask politely. "WHAT ARE you TALKING ABOUT?" the guard yells. "The power IS ALREADY ON!"
human
You ask the guard about the bed
gpt
"I do not UNDERSTAND you!" the guard shouts.
human
You put the bulb in the socket
gpt
You screw the lamp tighter into the socket and it lights up.

The light reveals the rest of the cell - an air duct running above the window, a simple rug on the floor, a hole that's probably meant to be used as a toilet and not much more.

Except a small, grinning, black monster in the corner next to a bulky sack.

"WHAT the... HELP!" you scream.
human
You look at the monster
gpt
You move across the room toward the creature. The lamp hanging from the ceiling is just on the right height to bonk you on the forehead on your way. (ktonk!)

The creature is small, shorter than you, and pitch black. It has an oblong head, no ears, tiny black eyes, and sharp, black teeth clearly visible behind a lipless mouth.

A constant dripping of spit from between its teeth forms a small greenish puddle of saliva by its feet.
human
You tell the guard about monster
gpt
You lean closer to the door and whisper: "There is some... thing in the cell with me!"

"You are IMAGINING things!" the guard yells.
human
Point to monster
gpt
(with the photograph)
You point the photograph at the creature.
human
You read the photograph
gpt
"To Sotty, Cpt. Harrison McBrawn." Good ol' Captain. Still doesn't remember your name.
human
You ask the monster about the guard
gpt
"I guess that was all," you say to the guard before talking to H.R. "JUST DON'T BOTHER ME ANYMORE," the guard yells and slides the eyehole shut.

Before getting into detailed discussion, your first reaction is to tackle the surprising situation with the delicacy you have applied to most things in your life. "What the duck is that!?" you yell and point at the creature. Much to your (additional) surprise, it replies. "Well, that's not what I would call a friendly greeting, monkey boy!"

You dare to go a bit closer. "H.R.'s the name, and -trading- is my game!" It pats the sack it has next to it. "I have everything a man of your standing would need, from kitchen utensils to trebuchets. Looks like I got your attention, little man - if you're interested, ask me for a -free sample-!"

It takes a while for the words to sink in. Not the least because the creature's voice combines hisses, clicks and high-pitched whirs which makes it quite hard to understand.
human
You examine creature
gpt
The creature is small, shorter than you, and pitch black. It has an oblong head, no ears, tiny black eyes, and sharp, black teeth clearly visible behind a lipless mouth.

A constant dripping of spit from between its teeth forms a small greenish puddle of saliva by its feet.
human
You ask the hr about the trading
gpt
"So... You're a trader?" you ask. "Yessir, that I am!" the creature replies. "I am well known everywhere in -Castle Schweinehund-, swapping items you no longer need for quality merchandise! Just show me what you got and I'll see if there's something I could trade you for it."
human
You ask the creature for the free sample
gpt
"So, what's the free sample?" you venture.

"The free sample, eh?" H.R. says and flashes a smile. "The minute I saw you I said to myself 'H.R., there is a man who goes to the supermarket just for the free taste samples.'" It reaches for the sack and pulls out a squarish metallic object which it hands to you. "Here ya go, sport. Knock your teeth out."
human
You ask the hr about the Castle Schweinehund
gpt
"What is this place anyhow? Where are we?"

"This is Castle Schweinehund," H.R. tells you. "Story goes that the -previous owners- built it on an ancient burial ground and used it to perform occultist rituals, opening portals to other worlds and so on. Sounds like old wives' tales to me," it says and runs its hand across its tail.
human
You ask the hr about the previous owners
gpt
"Who were the previous owners?"

"I'm not sure exactly. They were quite loud as well but not to the extent of the current ones."
human
You examine the metal
gpt
What do you want to examine: the metal plate, or the squarish metallic object?
human
Object
gpt
After closer inspection the squarish metallic object turns out to be a slightly rusted Skindude(tm) multitool. It has two hollow halves connected with a hinge on one end. The halves can be opened to reveal knives, files, pliers and other tools inside. Excellent.
human
You take the clothes
gpt
(first dropping the Skindude(tm) multitool to make room)
You lift the adventuring clothes to your arms.
human
You take the skindude
gpt
(first dropping the adventuring clothes to make room)
Taken.
human
You wear the clothes
gpt
"Thank heavens," H.R. sighs when you put on your clothes.
human
Show skindude to hr
gpt
(first taking the Skindude(tm) multitool)
You decide to hold on to it for a bit longer. It might still come useful.
human
You examine the puddle
gpt
A sizzling greenish puddle of saliva is forming by the feet of the creature.
human
Show clothes to hr
gpt
(first taking the clothes off)
"Can I get anything for these?" you ask and offer your clothes to the creature.

H.R. looks at the clothes in disdain. "If I took them, it would mean you couldn't put them back on. And that's very unacceptable."

"Aww, don't sulk," H.R. says when it sees your expression. "Let's make a deal: you put your clothes back on and I'll give you something nice. Ok?"
human
You wear the clothes
gpt
You put your clothes back on.

"That's more like it! Here you go," H.R. says and digs through the sack. It hands you a small tube.
human
You look at the tube
gpt
It is a small tube of glue remover.
human
You ask the hr about the saliva
gpt
What do you want to ask H.R. about: the puddle of saliva, or the acidic spit?
human
Spit
gpt
That's a nasty habit.

"Yeah, and your -spit- isn't as cool as mine," H.R. comments.
human
You ask HR about the vent
gpt
"Where does that vent lead?"

"Oh, it runs through the entire castle," H.R. tells you. "And it reaches the outside in several places, of course."
human
Examine vent
gpt
The aluminum air duct runs from one wall to another. It's quite large but not set very high, just few centimeters above your head. There's a small grate in the bottom of it.

H.R. burps and covers its mouth with its hand. "Sorry. Had Mexicans for lunch."
human
You show the photo to the hr
gpt
(first taking the photograph)
"Look, here's Captain McBrawn. Doesn't he look heroic and brave?"

"Wait, where's his head?" H.R. asks. "It's right there behind his biceps," you say.
human
You check what you're carrying
gpt
You are carrying a photograph and some glue remover and wearing your adventuring clothes.

Also, a Skindude(tm) multitool is on the floor.
human
You examine the multitool
gpt
It's a slightly rusted Skindude(tm) multitool, with all sorts of useful tools inside.
human
You open the multitool
gpt
You pull the halves apart and the Skindude(tm) opens with a creak. A swarm of rust flakes flies from the hinges. Looks like almost everything inside is rusted through; the only tool that looks even remotely useful is the screwdriver.
human
You open vent with the screwdriver
gpt
(first taking the Skindude(tm) multitool)
It's not locked.
human
You examine the hole
gpt
It's a smelly little hole.
human
You look in the hole
gpt
Fortunately it seems to be empty.
human
You examine door
gpt
The door is made of heavy reinforced steel plates, attached with large bolts. The hinges are on the left side and on the right side is the keyhole.

There's a small rectangular metal plate in the middle of the door.
human
You examine the plate
gpt
You move across the room to get closer to the metal plate. The lamp hits you on the forehead again. (ktonk)

There's a metal plate embedded in the door on the eye level, about three centimeters high and thirty centimeters wide.

H.R. taps the floor with its foot.
human
You examine the lamp
gpt
The light bulb is hanging low on an electrical wire. It is lit.
human
You examine the wire
gpt
The wire hangs from the ceiling from a fragile looking attachment and leads to the cross section of the ceiling and two walls.
human
You look at the plate
gpt
There's a metal plate embedded in the door on the eye level, about three centimeters high and thirty centimeters wide.
human
You unscrew the plate
gpt
It doesn't move.

H.R. yawns.
human
You examine the hinges
gpt
The hinges of the door are screwed into the wall.
human
Up
gpt
You jump up and down.
human
Look around
gpt
The cell walls are of gray stone and a small barred window leads outside to freedom. A silvery air vent runs right above the window and there's a hole in the floor under it in the corner, apparently to be used as a toilet. A light bulb hangs from the ceiling illuminating the cell. A simple rug is on the floor.

H.R. stands there next to a large burlap sack.
human
You unscrew the hinges with the screwdriver
gpt
You take the Skindude(tm) multitool and loosen the screws on the hinges.

After a good push the door falls open without its hinges. You run through it and turn left in the corridor - and end up in the arms of the guard. "HOW THE... DID THE DOOR JUST FALL DOWN?" he shouts.

The guard grabs you and takes you to what's probably a break room. There are a dozen Screaming Communists sitting there, watching you suspiciously and shouting a word or two at times.

"Congratulations on your escape," H.R. mocks you when they return you to the cell. The door seems to be fixed now.

You wave the screwdriver victoriously. "They didn't take this away! I'll just unscrew the hinges again!"

"Oh, by the way, they bolted the hinges while you were away. Sorry, what were you saying?"
human
You examine the rug
gpt
The rug has bright stripes in all the colors of a neon rainbow.
human
You take the rug
gpt
(first dropping the Skindude(tm) multitool and the glue remover to make room)
You roll the rug and lift it to your arms.

Glancing down on the floor where the rug used to be you notice a trapdoor in the floor!

"What a shocking revelation," H.R. says.
human
Show rug to hr
gpt
You remember the low-hanging lamp mere milliseconds before it hits you on the forehead. (ktonk)

"Would you trade this with me?" you ask.

"Hmm... It is a nice rug, in a way, but I've seen much nicer ones in my days. It doesn't even fly," H.R. sneers. "But since you're my best customer in this cell at the moment, I'll get you something nice for it. Let's see... a Jack Mills novel... no... a trophy... hmm..."

The creature pulls from its sack a large cube-like thingamabob, hands it to you and puts the rug away.
human
You look at the cube
gpt
The cube-like thingamabob has a window on one side where you can see some tubes in Y shape inside. Red labels are pasted all over the device, the one on top saying "FLUX CAPACITOR". The two dials are labeled "POWER" and "SPEED" and there's a pin with a picture of a lightning bolt next to it. It is very heavy.
human
You examine cube
gpt
The flux capacitor has a window on one side where you can see some tubes in Y shape inside. Red labels are pasted all over the device, the one on top saying "FLUX CAPACITOR". The two dials are labeled "POWER" and "SPEED" and there's a pin with a picture of a lightning bolt next to it. It is very heavy.
human
You take all
gpt
glue remover: (first dropping the flux capacitor to make room)
Taken.
Skindude(tm) multitool: Taken.
toilet hole: Taken. Wait, what?

(bulky items, i.e. the flux capacitor, were ignored)
human
You show the flux capacitor to the hr
gpt
(first taking the flux capacitor)
You decide to hold on to it for a bit longer. It might still come useful.
human
You check your inventory
gpt
You are carrying a flux capacitor and a photograph and wearing your adventuring clothes.

Also, some glue remover, a Skindude(tm) multitool, and a toilet hole are on the floor.
human
You show the multitool to the hr
gpt
"I don't want this. It's rusted through," you complain. "It was free," H.R. snaps. "Oh well, I guess I could find something else... " It rummages through its sack. "Let's see... a cake... no... a brass lamp... hmm... Here, you can have this."

It hands you a dusty old book.

(first dropping the flux capacitor to make room)
human
You take the hole
gpt
Taken.
human
You put the hole on the door
gpt
(ktonk)

You slap the hole against the door. It sticks there and through it you can see the corridor on the other side.

"That seems... unlikely," you say"I've seen stranger things around here," H.R. shrugs.
human
You enter the hole
gpt
It's way too small to fit through.
human
You reach through the hole
gpt
You put your hand through the hole in the door. Yes, the key is in the lock and at your reach!
human
You turn the key
gpt
You reach through the toilet hole and reach for the keyhole on the other side. You are delighted to find the key in the lock!

The key turns easily and you open the door very very carefully. You sneak into the corridor and close the door again.
human
You unlock the door with the key
gpt
The guard stands behind the door with his arms crossed.

"Do you REALLY THINK I wouldn't NOTICE A HAND REACHING THROUGH THE DOOR?" he roars.

"Well I kinda assumed so," you say.

He squints his eyes and takes a step forward. You open the door again, step inside and close the door.

The guard grabs the hole and pulls it off. "NO MORE TRICKS!" he yells.
human
You examine the hole
gpt
It's a smelly little hole. Incredibly enough it seems to be a portable model.

The toilet hole is currently attached to the door.
human
You get the hole
gpt
You peel the hole off the door.
human
You put hole on the door
gpt
You slap the hole against the door. It sticks there and through it you can see the corridor on the other side.
human
You turn the key
gpt
You reach through the toilet hole and reach for the keyhole on the other side. You are delighted to find the key in the lock!

The key turns easily and you open the door very very carefully. You sneak into the corridor and close the door again.

The guard stands behind the door with his arms crossed.

"Do you REALLY THINK I wouldn't NOTICE A HAND REACHING THROUGH THE DOOR?" he roars.

"Well I kinda assumed so," you say.

He squints his eyes and takes a step forward. You open the door again, step inside and close the door.

The guard grabs the hole and pulls it off. "NO MORE TRICKS!" he yells.
human
You check what you're carrying
gpt
You are carrying a dusty old book and a photograph and wearing your adventuring clothes.

Also, a flux capacitor and some glue remover are on the floor.
human
You look at the book
gpt
It says "ENCYCLOP?DIA ESCAP?DIA: The Definite Guide to Getting Out of All Kinds of Trouble" in large block letters on the cover.
human
You read the book
gpt
Instead of finding pages full of useful information you find that all the pages apart from one have been glued together and the book has been carved hollow to create a secret compartment inside. In the compartment there's a drinking glass and a small bottle of brown liquid.
human
You look at the liquid
gpt
What do you want to examine: the glue remover, the puddle of saliva, or the whiskey bottle?
human
Bottle
gpt
According to the label the bottle contains Meisterj?ger, a strong liquor.
human
You use glue remover on book
gpt
"Use" is too vague; you need to be more specific.
human
You remove the label
gpt
What do you want to remove: the whiskey bottle, the flux capacitor, or the sticker?
human
You spit on the hinges
gpt
(ktonk)

"Nope," the creature says.
human
You take acid with the glass
gpt
That command is too complex; you might want to try to just take the puddle of saliva.
human
You take the puddle
gpt
You scoop some of the spit from the floor into the glass.
human
You pour the spit on the hinges
gpt
(the acidic spit on the hinges)
You move across the room, now remembering that devilish lamp and going around it! Take that, lamp!

(first taking the acidic spit)
You pour a few drops of the spit on the hinges. The spit sizzles away in trails of smoke, leaving brown spots where it landed.
human
You pour the spit on the bars
gpt
(ktonk)

(first trying to take the puddle of saliva)
You scoop some of the spit from the floor into the glass.
human
You pour the spit on the bars
gpt
(the acidic spit on the iron bars)
(first taking the acidic spit)
Carefully applying the creature's spit on both ends of the bars, one after another they corrode off and fall on the cell floor. You climb out through the window. It's hard to see in the dark, but the ground doesn't seem to be that far away so you just jump.

"Freedom! Freedom! Free--" you rejoice just before landing in a moat. Your are in the water by the neck and your feet are stuck in the mud. "Uh... Hello? Someone? ..."
human
You read the book
gpt
There's only one readable passage.

A flashlight is an essential tool in any dark or low-light environment. It is a device that consists of a lamp inside a parable-shaped casing surrounded by a reflective surface to focus the light to a single direction.

Flashlights can been used as communication devices, typically by flashing the light in pre-agreed sequences. There are documented cases[citation needed] of using a flashlight or a searchlight as a signalling device by attaching a template in front of the light source to create shapes in the surface the light is pointed at.
human
You look at the book
gpt
It's an ENCYCLOP?DIA ESCAP?DIA shaped box with barely any of the articles left to read. There's a whiskey bottle inside.
human
You point the lamp at the window
gpt
(the barred window)
(first taking the light bulb)
"Stupid bulb, you're gonna get it," you mutter and yank the bulb from its socket. The wire snaps and you're left with a bulb attached to nothing but its socket.

Miraculously enough the bulb is still lit even when it's not connected to anything. "Hmm," H.R. muses.

You point the light bulb at the barred window.
human
You take bottle
gpt
Taken.
human
You look at the label
gpt
What do you want to examine: the flux capacitor, the sticker, or the whiskey bottle?
human
You take the sticker
gpt
It's glued fast. It doesn't come off with bare hands.
human
You examine the trapdoor
gpt
It's a wooden trapdoor set in the floor. It looks like there's some sort of sticker on it.
human
Go downwards
gpt
You jump down the trapdoor to the room below, thumping down on your feet and facing a stone wall. "Now, let's see if this room is easier to escape than the last one," you say to yourself. "I very much doubt it," says the creature's voice next to you.

"How the grue did you get here before me?" you cry. "I didn't, monkey boy. You dropped down the hatch in the ceiling the moment you went through the trapdoor," it grunts.
human
You open the glue remover
gpt
You open the cap and close it again. No need to keep it opened before it's used.
human
You remove the sticker with the glue remover
gpt
(first taking the glue remover)
The glue remover is effective immediately and the sticker comes off easily.
human
You put the sticker on the door
gpt
You slap the sticker on the door.
human
Look around
gpt
The cell walls are of gray stone and a small barred window leads outside to freedom. A silvery air vent runs right above the window. The light bulb you carry illuminates the cell.

There's an open trapdoor on the floor.

H.R. waves at you.

On the floor are some iron bars and a flux capacitor.
human
You examine bars
gpt
The bars used to be in the window before you corroded them off. They seem to have replaced the bars in the window but left the old ones behind.
human
You get the bars
gpt
Taken.

Dark clouds gather in the sky and block the moonlight.
human
Show bars to hr
gpt
The creature shrugs. "Meh. Those kind of things don't sell."
human
You put the bulb in the book
gpt
You put the light bulb into the encyclopedia.
human
You put the book on the window
gpt
(the barred window)
You put the encyclopedia on the barred window.
human
You open the book
gpt
That's already open.
human
Close book
gpt
You close the encyclopedia.
human
You open the book
gpt
You open the encyclopedia, revealing a light bulb.
human
You examine pages
gpt
A flashlight is an essential tool in any dark or low-light environment. It is a device that consists of a lamp inside a parable-shaped casing surrounded by a reflective surface to focus the light to a single direction.

Flashlights can been used as communication devices, typically by flashing the light in pre-agreed sequences. There are documented cases[citation needed] of using a flashlight or a searchlight as a signalling device by attaching a template in front of the light source to create shapes in the surface the light is pointed at.
human
You examine the photograph
gpt
It's a postcard sized signed photograph of Captain McBrawn. You carry it with you everywhere you go and it's beginning to show the wear and tear.

H.R. digs a paper tissue from its bag and tries to wipe some spit from around its mouth. The tissue sizzles and melts away leaving just a faint trace of smoke.
human
Tear photograph
gpt
Never! Even the very thought makes you weep gently.

"Oh boo hoo", H.R. says and in exaggerated motions pretends to rub its eyes with fists.
human
You put the photograph on the lamp
gpt
You put the photograph into the encyclopedia.

(first taking the photograph)
Putting things on the light bulb would probably not get you any closer to escaping.
human
You look at the flux
gpt
The flux capacitor has a window on one side where you can see some tubes in Y shape inside. Red labels are pasted all over the device, the one on top saying "FLUX CAPACITOR". The two dials are labeled "POWER" and "SPEED" and there's a pin with a picture of a lightning bolt next to it. It is very heavy.
human
You examine the speed
gpt
The speed dial points at zero. Curiously there's a large red line at about 88 miles per hour mark.
human
You open the trapdoor
gpt
It is tightly locked.
human
You look
gpt
There's no such thing here now.

The cell walls are of gray stone and a small barred window leads outside to freedom. A silvery air vent runs right above the window. The light bulb illuminates the cell.

There's an open trapdoor on the floor.

H.R. leans against its sack.

On the barred window is an encyclopedia (in which is a light bulb).

On the floor is a flux capacitor.
human
You put the capacitor in the trapdoor
gpt
(first taking the flux capacitor)
(first dropping the iron bars, the whiskey bottle, and the drinking glass to make room)
The flux capacitor falls down the trapdoor and lands back in front of you.
human
You examine the power
gpt
The power dial goes from zero to 1.21 gigawatts. It's currently pointing at zero.
human
You ask the hr about sack
gpt
"What's in the bag?" you ask.

"That's where I keep my ware," H.R. responds. "You'll find out what's there when you trade something."
human
You check your inventory
gpt
You are carrying a photograph and wearing your adventuring clothes.

Also, a flux capacitor, a drinking glass, a whiskey bottle, and some iron bars are on the floor.
human
Show bars to hr
gpt
(first taking the iron bars)
"I think I have one of those already," H.R. says.
human
You look at the glass
gpt
(the drinking glass)
The drinking glass is empty.
human
You attach the wire to the capacitor
gpt
Sparks fly to the air when you touch the socket on the flux capacitor with the exposed wire. There's a loud click from inside the machinery and the tubes behind the front window light up and start blinking like christmas lights.

The needle on the power dial turns to point at 1.21 gigawatts.

H.R. burps and covers its mouth with its hand. "Sorry. Had Mexicans for lunch."
human
You put capacitor in the trapdoor
gpt
(first taking the flux capacitor)
(first dropping the iron bars to make room)
The flux capacitor falls down the trapdoor and lands back in front of you.
human
You throw the capacitor out the window
gpt
That command is too complex; you might want to try to just throw the flux capacitor.
human
You throw the capacitor
gpt
The flux capacitor is already here.
human
You ask the hr about the flux
gpt
"What the shuck is this?"

"It's a... well, you find out yourself," H.R. replies.
human
You drop capacitor out the window
gpt
That command is too complex; you might want to try to just drop the flux capacitor.
human
You put the capacitor in the window
gpt
(the barred window)
(first taking the flux capacitor)
That is not something you could put stuff into.

"Hey, watch those stranded prepositions," H.R. points out.
human
You look at the window
gpt
(the barred window)
The window is nothing but a hole in the wall with thick slab of transparent plexiglas installed to it. Through it you see a beautiful moonlit night sky.
human
You look at the plexiglas
gpt
The Screaming Communists have replaced the iron bars with thick transparent plexiglas while you were away. At least it'll keep the cold away better than before.
human
Scream
gpt
The rectangle on the cell door slides open and a pair of beady eyes appear behind it. "WHAT is all this RACKET?" a loud voice behind the door says.
human
Kiss guard
gpt
Keep your mind on the game.
human
You show the book to guard
gpt
(first taking the encyclopedia)
The guard doesn't seem interested.

The guard grunts and closes the eyehole.
human
You drink the whiskey
gpt
It's too strong for your tastes.
human
You show the whiskey to guard
gpt
(first taking the whiskey bottle)
"Would you be interested in a... little drink?" you say and dangle the bottle in front of the eyehole. "Uh, is that MEISTERJ?GER? I most certainly SHOULD NOT... Maybe a little bit, JUST TO KEEP ME WARM ... JUST SLIP it through the HOLE, will you?" "It won't fit through," you remark. "I must open the door... But KEEP IT QUIET, WILL YOU?"

There's a click from the keyhole and the door opens slightly. You slip the bottle to the guard who snatches it from your hand and slams the door shut. In his excitement he doesn't remember to lock the door! You wait for a moment and open it very carefully.

The guard is enjoying his prize and doesn't notice you slipping through the door. You navigate through the castle corridors until you stop behind a door where you hear conversation behind it.

"DID YOU HEAR that FEDOR has found a BOTTLE OF MEISTERJ?GER?" a voice yells.

"Meisterj?ger? AND HE'S NOT SHARING?" another voice shouts. Several other voices murmur in unison. It gets harder to hear, but it seems they all decide to pay a visit to Fedor and his bottle. By the time you've deduced this, the door opens and twenty Screaming Communists march out.

"FEDOR, you OLD DRUNK we've come to DRINK FOR YOUR HEALTH and we've BROUGHT YOU A PRESENT," they shout as they shove you to his lap.

The sounds of the Screaming Communists gradually die out when the bottle is finally empty and you're back in the cell with H.R.

"Welcome back," it says.
human
You check your inventory
gpt
You are carrying an encyclopedia (in which is a light bulb) and a photograph and wearing your adventuring clothes.

Also, a flux capacitor, some iron bars, and a drinking glass are on the floor.
human
You examine the glass
gpt
(the drinking glass)
The drinking glass is empty.

There's a knock on the door. Not waiting for a response the guard opens the door and shouts: "Your DINNER IS HERE!" He throws a plate in the cell with a silvery package on it and locks the door again.
human
You look at the package
gpt
It's a small bundle of tin foil. Judging by the pungent smell there might be some food inside.
human
You open the package
gpt
You open the tin foil, revealing fried fish.
human
You look at the fish
gpt
They have fried the fish whole but it still looks quite raw. It is reddish in color; it might be a red herring.
"I'm quite sure it is not," H.R. doubts.
human
You show the fish to the hr
gpt
"Do you want this?" you ask.

"Oh no I couldn't... YES I CAN," H.R. shrieks and grabs the foil from your hands. Pieces of fish and drops of saliva fly around as the creature devours your meal. The gruesome show ends in H.R. silently burping and throwing the now empty foil over its shoulder. "Wow, that really hit the spot. Yeah, maybe you'd like something in return?"

It puts its hand in the sack and majestically pulls out tiny nail scissors and hands them to you.
human
You eat the fish
gpt
You can't bring yourself to eating it.

"What, you can't eat the sweet, sweet fish? You're one mysterious dude," the creature says.
human
You get the foil
gpt
You already have that.
human
You get the scissors
gpt
You already have those.
human
Inventory
gpt
You are carrying some nail scissors, a tin foil, an encyclopedia (in which is a light bulb), and a photograph and wearing your adventuring clothes.

Also, a flux capacitor, some iron bars, and a drinking glass are on the floor.

H.R. digs a paper tissue from its bag and tries to wipe some spit from around its mouth. The tissue sizzles and melts away leaving just a faint trace of smoke.
human
You examine the foil
gpt
It's a crumpled sheet of tin foil.
human
You cut the foil
gpt
That's already open.

Cutting that wouldn't solve anything.
human
You tear the foil
gpt
That's not something you can tear.

H.R. scratches its head.
human
Cut photograph
gpt
After hesitating for a while you carefully cut out Captain McBrawn's image from the photograph. It takes a good while with the nearly useless dull scissors.

You look at the McBrawn's silhouette, which is perfectly cut out but the photograph and the autograph is ruined. The sacrifice makes a silent tear roll on your cheek.

"I knew a girl like you once," H.R. remarks. "She was five and she liked ponies. I bet you like ponies too, don't you."
human
Yes
gpt
H.R. gives you a thumbs-up and a grin.
human
You ask hr about the ponies
gpt
H.R. seems to have been distracted and missed your question.
human
You examine the photograph
gpt
It's a silhouette of Captain McBrawn cut from a photograph.
human
You put the silhouette on the window
gpt
(the barred window)
You put the photograph on the barred window.
human
You point the lamp at the window
gpt
(the barred window)
(first taking the light bulb)
You point the light bulb at the barred window.
human
Point lamp at silhouette
gpt
You point the light bulb at the photograph.
human
You wait
gpt
You wait for a while.
human
You wait
gpt
That's already on.

You wait for a while.

H.R. digs a paper tissue from its bag and tries to wipe some spit from around its mouth. The tissue sizzles and melts away leaving just a faint trace of smoke.
human
You attach silhouette
gpt
What do you want to attach the photograph to?
human
You attach the silhouette to the window
gpt
(the barred window)
You can't attach them together.
human
You attach the silhouette to the bulb
gpt
Putting things on the light bulb would probably not get you any closer to escaping.

You can't attach them together.
human
You put the foil in the lamp
gpt
That is not something you could put stuff into.

H.R. yawns.
human
You check what you're carrying
gpt
You are carrying a light bulb, some nail scissors, a tin foil, and an encyclopedia and wearing your adventuring clothes.

Also, a flux capacitor, some iron bars, and a drinking glass are on the floor.
human
You put the bulb in the book
gpt
You put the light bulb into the encyclopedia.
human
You look at the glass
gpt
(the drinking glass)
The drinking glass is empty.
human
You put the foil on the glass
gpt
(the drinking glass)
Putting things on the drinking glass would probably not get you any closer to escaping.
human
You put the foil in the glass
gpt
(the drinking glass)
You put the tin foil into the glass and straighten it against the glass walls.

H.R. burps and covers its mouth with its hand. "Sorry. Had Mexicans for lunch."
human
You attach the silhouette to the glass
gpt
(the drinking glass)
You can't attach them together.
human
You put the lamp in the glass
gpt
(the drinking glass)
(the tin foil)
(first taking the light bulb)
You put the light bulb inside the glass and the tin foil concentrates and reflects the light into a bright beam of light.
human
You put the silhouette on the glass
gpt
(the makeshift flashlight)
(first taking the photograph)
You put Captain McBrawn's silhouette on top of the drinking glass.

The beam of light emitting from the drinking glass casts a shadow on the wall shaped like the Captain.

"Nananananananana CAP-TAAIN!" H.R. sings.
human
You point the flashlight at the window
gpt
(the barred window)
Captain McBrawn's silhouette reflects clearly to the clouds above. You hold the glass in your hand for several minutes, then support it in the window sill and leave it there.

"What happens now?" H.R. asks.

"We wait. Captain McBrawn will be here any minute now." H.R. shrugs and stays silent.

You wait, and wait, and wait. You pace the room from one end to the other again and again. Finally the light bulb flickers ominously and finally burns out completely.

A dreadful darkness falls into the cell but it doesn't last long when the moon comes back from behind the clouds and lights the room with an eerie glow. You give a defeated sigh. H.R. gives you a melancholic look.

A bit later you hear muffled sounds from the corridor. They seem to get louder and louder and you can make out screams and thuds and thumps. You glance hopefully at H.R. who grins and gives you a thumbs-up.

*khaZAM!*

The door practically EXPLODES inwards when the guard's unconscious body flies through it and bright light flows in the cell. You recognize the shadow of the man standing in the door frame.

Yes. It is Captain McBrawn.

"Fear NOT! For I, Captain McBrawn, am here!" He comes in and stands tall in front of you, hands by his waist and holding his sculpture-like chin high. "Let us leave this dreadful place!"

You lower your head. "I have to confess... You told me to go find the President. I didn't get there. The Screaming Communists captured me right away and I failed the mission." The Captain laughs warmly. "Do not worry! I foiled their evil plot with little trouble and came looking for you. The searchlight was very clever of you."

"Well, I had some help..." you say and point at H.R. - but it's gone. You're almost sure you see the tip of its tail disappearing in the ventilation duct. The Captain isn't paying much attention. "Let's go home," he says.

You step over the knocked-out guard and leave.
human
You show the foil to the hr
gpt
"What do you suppose I would do with an empty sheet of tin foil?" H.R. asks.
human
Inventory
gpt
You are carrying some nail scissors and an encyclopedia and wearing your adventuring clothes.

Also, a flux capacitor, some iron bars, and a makeshift searchlight are on the floor.
human
You examine bars
gpt
The bars used to be in the window before you corroded them off. They seem to have replaced the bars in the window but left the old ones behind.
human
You get the bars
gpt
Taken.

H.R. digs a paper tissue from its bag and tries to wipe some spit from around its mouth. The tissue sizzles and melts away leaving just a faint trace of smoke.
human
You look
gpt
The cell walls are of gray stone and a small barred window leads outside to freedom. A silvery air vent runs right above the window. The light bulb illuminates the cell.

There's an open trapdoor on the floor.

H.R. stands there next to a large burlap sack.
human
You hit the door with the bars
gpt
On the floor are a dinner plate, a flux capacitor, and a makeshift searchlight.

There's no such thing here now.
human
You look at the dinner plate
gpt
The dinner plate is empty.
human
You show the plate to the gr
gpt
The aluminum air duct runs from one wall to another. It's quite large but not set very high, just few centimeters above your head. There's a small grate in the bottom of it.

Please be more specific - what do you want to show?
human
You show the plate to hr
gpt
(the dinner plate to H.R.)
(first taking the dinner plate)
You decide to hold on to it for a bit longer. It might still come useful.
human
You examine the grate
gpt
The aluminum air duct runs from one wall to another. It's quite large but not set very high, just few centimeters above your head. There's a small grate in the bottom of it.
human
You open grate
gpt
You open the grate on the air duct.
human
You throw the dinner plate at the window
gpt
(the barred window)
That wouldn't solve anything.
human
You enter the duct
gpt
You try to squeeze through the opening, but it's just a bit too small for you to fit through.
human
You remove clothing
gpt
You strip naked.

"That's so very much unnecessary," H.R. remarks dryly.
human
You enter the duct
gpt
Even without clothes the opening is just slightly too small to fit through.
human
You look at saliva
gpt
A sizzling greenish puddle of saliva is forming by the feet of the creature.
human
You look at the plate
gpt
(the dinner plate)
The dinner plate is empty.
human
You look at the clothes
gpt
They are a pair of green pocketless pants and a gray wool sweater. Your adventuring clothes - that's what mom said when she bought them. They've turned out being not very well suited for the purpose though. They're very thick and a bit too big.

"I hear your mom lost some weight so they changed her classification to dwarf planet," H.R. quips.

"Hey! Don't talk like that about my mom!" you yell at it.
human
You check your inventory
gpt
You are carrying a dinner plate, some iron bars, some nail scissors, and an encyclopedia and wearing nothing.

Also, your adventuring clothes, a flux capacitor, and a makeshift searchlight are on the floor.
human
You attach the wire to the door
gpt
You tuck the live end of the wire into the keyhole.

"Aww, that's just nasty," H.R. says.
human
Scream
gpt
The rectangle on the cell door slides open and a pair of beady eyes appear behind it. "WHAT is all this RACKET?" a loud voice behind the door says. After a short pause the voice goes: "Why you... ARE YOU STILL NAKED?"
human
You ask the guard about the door
gpt
"Could you please open the door?" you ask.

"HA! HA! HA HA HA! HA! HA HA!" is all he replies.
human
You examine the keyhole
gpt
There's a tiny keyhole in the cell door. Too bad you don't have the key.
human
You attach the wire to plate
gpt
(the dinner plate)
You can't attach them together.
human
You attach the wire to the door plate
gpt
That command is too complex; you might want to try to just attach electrical wire to the door.
human
You attach the wire to the door
gpt
You make sure the wire is securely inside the keyhole.

The guard grunts and closes the eyehole.
human
You lie on the floor
gpt
What do you want to knock?

There's no such thing here now.
human
Scream
gpt
"WHAT?" the guard yells.
human
You put on the clothes
gpt
(first taking the adventuring clothes)
You put on the adventuring clothes.
human
You show the plate to the guard
gpt
(the dinner plate to the guard)
(first taking the dinner plate)
The guard doesn't seem interested.
human
You give the plate to the guard
gpt
(the dinner plate to the guard)
The guard doesn't seem interested.

The guard grunts and closes the eyehole.
human
You put the foil on the eyehole
gpt
(first taking the tin foil)
Putting things on the metal plate would probably not get you any closer to escaping.
human
You put the bar in the keyhole
gpt
(first taking the iron bars)
Those are not something you could put stuff into.
human
Inventory
gpt
You are carrying some iron bars, a tin foil (in which is a light bulb), and a dinner plate and wearing your adventuring clothes.

Also, an encyclopedia, some nail scissors, a flux capacitor, and a drinking glass (in which is a photograph) are on the floor.
human
You put the scissors in the keyhole
gpt
(first taking the nail scissors)
Those are not something you could put stuff into.
human
You look in the keyhole
gpt
Through the keyhole you see a small part of the corridor behind the door. Sweet freedom!
human
You wear the foil
gpt
You contemplate on making a foil hat to prevent unwanted telepathy, but decide you don't have the time.

"The elevator doesn't go all the way up, does it?" H.R. wonders.
human
You wear plate
gpt
(the dinner plate)
That is not clothing!
human
You attach the wire to the door
gpt
You make sure the wire is securely inside the keyhole.
human
You examine the lamp
gpt
The light bulb is lit.
human
You look at the eyehole
gpt
There's a metal plate embedded in the door on the eye level, about three centimeters high and thirty centimeters wide.

H.R. taps the floor with its foot.
human
You put the bulb in the glass
gpt
(the drinking glass)
(first taking the light bulb)
There is no more room in the drinking glass.
human
Point bulb at glass
gpt
(the drinking glass)
You point the light bulb at the drinking glass.
human
Point bulb at guard
gpt
You point the light bulb at the guard.
human
You hit the guard
gpt
You would possibly hurt yourself more than the guard.
human
You take photo
gpt
Taken.

The guard grunts and closes the eyehole.
human
You put the bulb in glass
gpt
(the drinking glass)
The lamp fits nicely inside the drinking glass. The glass bends and reflects the light, creating beautiful patterns of light and shadow on the cell walls. The top of the glass throws a weak beam of light on the ceiling.

H.R. burps and covers its mouth with its hand. "Sorry. Had Mexicans for lunch."
human
You ask the hr about the mexicans
gpt
"I've never been to Mexico."

"Huhwhat?" H.R. exclaims.
human
You show the glass to the guard
gpt
(the drinking glass to the guard)
(first taking the drinking glass)
The guard doesn't seem interested.
human
You put the bulb in the glass
gpt
(the drinking glass)
The light bulb is already in the drinking glass.
human
You ask hr about the grue
gpt
"I have nothing to say now," you say to the guard before talking to H.R. "WHATEVER," the guard yells and slides the eyehole shut.

"Yes, yes, run along now," H.R. says.
human
You put the foil in the glass
gpt
(the drinking glass)
There is no more room in the drinking glass.
human
You put the foil in the glass
gpt
(the drinking glass)
You put the tin foil into the glass and straighten it against the glass walls.
human
You put the bulb in glass
gpt
(the drinking glass)
(the tin foil)
You put the light bulb inside the glass and the tin foil concentrates and reflects the light into a bright beam of light.
human
You shine the light at the guard
gpt
(the light bulb at the guard)
(first taking the light bulb)
You point the light bulb at the guard.
human
You point the flashlight at the guard
gpt
The rectangle on the cell door slides open and a pair of beady eyes appear behind it. "WHAT is all this RACKET?" a loud voice behind the door says.

You point the makeshift flashlight at the guard.
human
You point the glass at the guard
gpt
(the makeshift flashlight at the guard)
You point the makeshift flashlight at the guard.
human
You point the flashlight at eyes
gpt
You point the makeshift flashlight at the guard.
human
You ask the guard for the food
gpt
"SPEAK UP!" the guard shouts.
human
You tell the guard about the monster
gpt
"No, I mean it! Look at it, there the monster is!"

The guard squints. "NOPE. CAN'T see ANYTHING," he shouts.
human
You ask the guard about the toilet
gpt
"WHAT?" the guard shouts.
human
You ask the guard about the guard
gpt
"So... you're a guard, huh? How's that working for you?"

The eyes behind the door squint. "Are you COMING ON TO ME?"
human
Yes
gpt
"OK THEN," the guard roars.
human
You ask the guard about yourself
gpt
"Don't you know who I am!?" you demand.
"NO," the guard replies.

"Well... uh... I'm Scotty," you say.
human
You ask the guard about Captain
gpt
(the photograph)
"You should better let me go peacefully before it's too late! This here is Captain McBrawn and he'll be coming to rescue me and then you will be in big trouble!"

"OOH, I'M TREMBLING," the guard shouts.
human
You ask the guard about escape
gpt
"I'm going to break out and save the President!"

"HA! I SPIT at your PRESIDENT!" the guard yells.
human
Spit at guard
gpt
That command is too complex; you might want to try to just spit.
human
Spit
gpt
That's a nasty habit.
human
You ask the guard about the spit
gpt
What do you want to ask the guard about: the puddle of saliva, or the acidic spit?
human
You ask the guard about the window
gpt
(the barred window)
You're about to ask, but you're not sure how to word the question.
human
You ask the guard about the exercise
gpt
Nothing particular about that topic comes to mind.
human
You ask the guard about the book
gpt
What do you want to ask the guard about: the encyclopedia, or the Jack Mills novel?
human
You ask the hr about Jack Mills
gpt
"I guess that was all," you say to the guard before talking to H.R. "ALL RIGHT THEN," the guard yells and slides the eyehole shut.

"Oh, you have other books too?" you ask.

"Yeah, but you wouldn't like this one. It doesn't have any pictures," H.R. says.
human
You show encyclopedia to the hr
gpt
One page comes off the encyclopedia and flutters on the floor.

"Can I have something else instead?" you carefully ask. "Not enough pictures, eh? Well, I'll trade it in but I can't give you anything as nice this time. Let's see... an orange garden hose... no... an electric mixer... hmm... This'll do."

It gives you a can of motor oil.
human
You examine the oil
gpt
The can contains motor oil, meant to reduce friction of moving parts.
human
You put the oil on yourself
gpt
That would surely ruin your clothes. Mom would never get the oil out.

"Your mom is so ugly they moved Halloween to her birthday," H.R. says.

"That's just so not cool!" you cry.
human
You remove the clothes
gpt
You strip naked.

"Oh for crying out loud!" H.R. yells. "That's really not something I would have wanted to see."
human
You put the oil on yourself
gpt
You pour the oil on you and douse yourself with it. Every inch of yourself. Every drop of the oil gets used. The result is one slick and slippery Scotty.

"My eyes! Is there no mercy for my poor retinas?" H.R. cries.
human
You enter the vent
gpt
The motor oil covers your body like sweat on a hot summer night. You slither inside the air duct and pull yourself deeper and deeper inside. Darkness and cold aluminum encloses you from all sides as you twist and turn through the tunnels. Finally there's some light looming from ahead and you slide faster toward it.

Just before you reach the end of the duct a dark shape blocks the light and you're back in near darkness. You force yourself to a halt and stare the figure in the eyes.

"Hey, it's H.R.! What are you doing here?" you ask but the creature doesn't reply. It opens its mouth, and the second, and the third. And it hisses.

You back away in record speed and drop down the grate back to the cell.

"I see you met my -cousin Herbert-," H.R. assumes. "Now please put some clothes on!"
human
About yourself
gpt
You are Scotty, Captain McBrawn's short and a bit round sidekick. You have followed him on his adventures and helped him mostly by staying out of his way, but now you have a mission of your own.

You are carrying a makeshift flashlight, a photograph, some nail scissors, some iron bars, and a dinner plate and wearing nothing.

Also, your adventuring clothes and a flux capacitor are on the floor.
human
You wear the clothes
gpt
(first taking the adventuring clothes)
You put your clothes on.

"I and my eyes thank you, good sir," H.R. says.
human
You look at the grate
gpt
The aluminum air duct runs from one wall to another. It's quite large but not set very high, just few centimeters above your head. There's a small opened grate in the bottom of it.
human
You ask the hr about the cousin
gpt
"Wait, you knew there was a monster in the air ducts?" you cry. "Sure. It's cousin Herbert, hired by the -Screaming Communists- to keep the vents safe," H.R. says.

"Then why didn't you say anything before I went in there!?"
H.R. shrugs. "I thought Herbie might have been hungry."
human
You ask the hr about Herbert
gpt
"Wait, you knew there was a monster in the air ducts?" you cry. "Sure. It's cousin Herbert, hired by the Screaming Communists to keep the vents safe," H.R. says.

"Then why didn't you say anything before I went in there!?"
H.R. shrugs. "I thought Herbie might have been hungry."
human
You ask the hr about Screaming
gpt
(the Screaming Communists)
"What do you think of the Screaming Communists?" you ask H.R..

"They're a bit loud for my tastes. And they're not the ideal business partners, either. They tend to rather shoot you and take your stuff instead of trading."
human
You take the grate
gpt
That is not something you would carry around.

H.R. yawns.
human
You check what you're carrying
gpt
You are carrying a photograph and wearing your adventuring clothes.

Also, a dinner plate, some iron bars, some nail scissors, a makeshift flashlight, and a flux capacitor are on the floor.
human
You examine the photograph
gpt
It's a silhouette of Captain McBrawn cut from a photograph.
human
You show the scissors to the hr
gpt
"Thanks, but I don't need this anymore."

"What am I, a library?" the creature snaps. "Very well, I'll trade it in. Let's see... a battering ram... no... some deck chairs from the Titanic... hmm... Oh, I don't know what this is so maybe you can have it then."

H.R. throws you a small vial.
human
You examine the vial
gpt
The glass vial is very small and delicate. There's some purple liquid inside it and the words "DRINK ME" written on it with beautiful cursive.

H.R. scratches its head.
human
Drink vial
gpt
You take a sip from the vial. It has a very faint taste, something flowery, but you can't quite put your finger on it. Then suddenly the vial starts to get larger and larger; your clothes seem to grow bigger and the walls and the ceiling seem to move further apart from each other.

You climb out from under your clothes that are now too huge to wear. The cell and everything in it seems to have grown at least tenfold. H.R. is a towering monster far away.

"Or could it be that you have just shrunk a lot smaller?" the creature booms.

Very soon you find out that the effect doesn't last very long: you stretch back to your original size.
human
You examine the vial
gpt
The glass vial is very small and delicate. There's some purple liquid inside it and the words "DRINK ME" written on it with beautiful cursive.
human
Scream
gpt
The rectangle on the cell door slides open and a pair of beady eyes appear behind it. "WHAT is all this RACKET?" a loud voice behind the door says. After a short pause the voice goes: "Why you... ARE YOU STILL NAKED?"
human
You show the clothes to guard
gpt
(first taking the adventuring clothes)
The guard doesn't seem interested.
human
You give the vial to the guard
gpt
(first taking the potion vial)
The guard doesn't seem interested.
human
You show the vial to the guard
gpt
The guard doesn't seem interested.

The guard grunts and closes the eyehole.
human
You ask the guard about Screaming
gpt
(the Screaming Communists)
"What does it actually mean being a Screaming Communist?"

"You get to SCREAM! And THREATEN PEOPLE! By SCREAMING! AND I LIKE IT!" he replies.
human
You shout at the guard
gpt
"WHAT?" the guard yells.
human
You attach the wire to the door
gpt
You make sure the wire is securely inside the keyhole.
human
Drink vial
gpt
You take a sip from the vial and the world starts to grow smaller and smaller. Very soon you are so small you can't see the guard's eyes anymore - and apparently he can't see you either.

"NOW WHERE did you GO!?" the guard yells. "OH BUGGER, I'm going to GET FLOGGED if I let him ESCAPE!"

He opens the door and peeks inside. "HEY! WHERE DID YOU GO!" You take advantage of the situation and start running through the door.

You run and run and run for what feels like eternity. Then the potion's effect starts to wear out and you grow quickly to your normal size. You managed to cover almost two meters from the door. Running with legs the size of a toothpick doesn't get one very far. You stand there, naked, grinning to the guard who leaps at you and throws you back inside.
human
You press the space
gpt
"YOU STAY HERE and I'll take THIS WITH ME so NO TRICKS ANYMORE!" the guard shouts and takes the potion vial before slamming the door shut.
human
Look around
gpt
The cell walls are of gray stone and a small barred window leads outside to freedom. A silvery air vent runs right above the window. The light bulb illuminates the cell.

There's an open trapdoor on the floor.

The creature wags its tail slowly from side to side.

On the floor are your adventuring clothes, a photograph, a dinner plate, some iron bars, a makeshift flashlight, an article, and a flux capacitor.
human
You ask the hr about the citation needed
gpt
"Dunno about that," H.R. says.
human
You show the article to the hr
gpt
(first taking the article)
"Thanks, but you should keep it," H.R. says.
human
You ask the hr about the citation
gpt
H.R. seems to have been distracted and missed your question.
human
You show the wire to the hr
gpt
(first trying to take electrical wire)
You pull the wire out from the keyhole.

H.R. digs a paper tissue from its bag and tries to wipe some spit from around its mouth. The tissue sizzles and melts away leaving just a faint trace of smoke.
human
You show wire to the hr
gpt
(first trying to take electrical wire)
It won't come out any further.
human
Lick wire
gpt
Wondering if the wire has any power, you touch it with your tongue.

*kZAP*

"Ih HOEH hae oheh!" you discover. "The lamp's on, but nobody's in the lighthouse, is there?" H.R. wonders.
human
You touch the hr with the wire
gpt
*kZAP*

H.R. spasms and blinks white light for a while. Trails of smoke rise from its body.

"Careful with that!
" it says.
human
Scream
gpt
The rectangle on the cell door slides open and a pair of beady eyes appear behind it. "WHAT is all this RACKET?" a loud voice behind the door says. After a short pause the voice goes: "Why you... ARE YOU STILL NAKED?"
human
You touch the guard with the wire
gpt
"Stop WAVING THAT THING in front of me!" the guard screams.
human
You touch the guard with the wire
gpt
"Stop WAVING THAT THING in front of me!" the guard screams.

The guard grunts and closes the eyehole.
human
Lick wire
gpt
Wondering if the wire still has any power, you touch it with your tongue.

*kZAP*

"Ih HOEH hae oheh!" you discover. "The elevator doesn't go all the way up, does it?" H.R. wonders.
human
You show the capacitor to the hr
gpt
(first taking the flux capacitor)
You decide to hold on to it for a bit longer. It might still come useful.

The numbness on your tongue subsides and some sense returns to it. "Too bad that doesn't apply to the rest of your head," H.R. quips.
human
Lick wire
gpt
Wondering if the wire still has any power, you touch it with your tongue.

*kZAP*

"Ih HOEH hae oheh!" you discover. "You're not the brightest lamp of the Christmas lights, are you?" H.R. wonders.
human
Lick plate
gpt
(the dinner plate)
You have eaten a lot of strange stuff, but the dinner plate is not something you want to put in your mouth.
human
You take the foil
gpt
(first dropping the flux capacitor to make room)
Taken.
human
Lick puddle
gpt
That would just be too disgusting.
human
You put the acid in the glass
gpt
(the drinking glass)
(first trying to take the puddle of saliva)
You scoop some of the spit from the floor into the glass.
human
You pour the acid on plate
gpt
(the acidic spit on the dinner plate)
(first taking the acidic spit)
You pour a few drops of the spit on the dinner plate. The spit sizzles away in trails of smoke, leaving brown spots where it landed.
human
Lick hr
gpt
"Would you mind if I licked you a bit?"

"Yes. Yes I very much would," H.R. objects.

The numbness on your tongue subsides and some sense returns to it.
human
Lick wire
gpt
Wondering if the wire still has any power, you touch it with your tongue.

*kZAP*

"Ih HOEH hae oheh!" you discover. "There's no battery in your remote, is there?" H.R. wonders.
human
Lick wire
gpt
Wondering if the wire still has any power, you touch it with your tongue.

*kZAP*

"Ih HOEH hae oheh!" you discover. "The elevator doesn't go all the way up, does it?" H.R. wonders.
human
You put the wire on the flux capacitor
gpt
(first trying to take electrical wire)
It won't come out any further.
human
Break plate
gpt
(the dinner plate)
You would possibly hurt yourself more than the dinner plate.
human
You attach the plate to the flux
gpt
(the dinner plate to the flux capacitor)
You can't attach them together.
human
You put the capacitor on the wire
gpt
(first taking the flux capacitor)
Putting things on electrical wire would probably not get you any closer to escaping.
human
You attach the capacitor to the wire
gpt
You can't attach them together.

The numbness on your tongue subsides and some sense returns to it.
human
You throw plate
gpt
(the dinner plate)
The dinner plate is already here.
human
You look at the trapdoor
gpt
(the dinner plate in the trapdoor)
(first taking the dinner plate)
(first dropping the flux capacitor to make room)
The dinner plate falls down the trapdoor and lands back in front of you.
human
You attach the wire to the barsa
gpt
It's a wooden trapdoor set in the floor. Looking closely you can see a small switch on the side of it.

There's no such thing here now.
human
You attach the wire to the bars
gpt
You can't attach them together.

H.R. burps and covers its mouth with its hand. "Sorry. Had Mexicans for lunch."
human
You examine the switch
gpt
The small switch on the trapdoor has been pushed to one side.
human
You pull the switch
gpt
You flip the switch and the trapdoor slides effortlessly to the middle of the room. Where it used to be only solid stone floor remains.

"How curious," you muse. H.R. raises the spot above its eye where people usually have eyebrows.
human
You pull the switch
gpt
The trapdoor slides to the right side of the room.
human
You examine the power
gpt
The power dial goes from zero to 1.21 gigawatts. It's currently pointing at the maximum.
human
You put capacitor in trapdoor
gpt
(first taking the flux capacitor)
The flux capacitor falls down the trapdoor and lands back in front of you.
human
You examine the ceiling
gpt
The ceiling is far above the ground. The trapdoor hangs open in the ceiling on the opposite side of itself. Which is a bit strange, but hey.
human
You look at the ceiling trapdoor
gpt
That command is too complex; you might want to try to just examine the ceiling.
human
You pull the switch
gpt
The trapdoor slides to the middle of the room.
human
You pull the switch
gpt
The trapdoor slides to the right side of the room.
human
You go downwards
gpt
You jump down the trapdoor and land back into the cell.
human
You look down
gpt
(the floor)
The stone floor is a dirty and cold.
human
You look at the trapdoor
gpt
It's a wooden trapdoor set in the floor. Looking closely you can see a small switch on the side of it.
human
You look at the trapdoor
gpt
The flux capacitor is already here.

It's a wooden trapdoor set in the floor. Looking closely you can see a small switch on the side of it.
human
You examine the flux
gpt
The flux capacitor has a window on one side where you can see some tubes in Y shape inside. Red labels are pasted all over the device, the one on top saying "FLUX CAPACITOR". The two dials are labeled "POWER" and "SPEED" and there's a pin with a picture of a lightning bolt next to it. It is very heavy.

The tubes inside are blinking bright white light and the device hums silently.
human
You attach the wire to the trapdoor
gpt
The power dial goes from zero to 1.21 gigawatts. It's currently pointing at the maximum.

You can't attach them together.
human
Lick wire
gpt
Wondering if the wire still has any power, you touch it with your tongue.

*kZAP*

"Ih HOEH hae oheh!" you discover. "There's no mayo in your sandwich, is there?" H.R. wonders.
human
You ask the hr about the trapdoor
gpt
"Ha hoh? Hew mah howeh huh."

"Sorry, but I don't speak Dimwit," H.R. says.
human
You enter trapdoor
gpt
H.R. looks at you.

On the floor are a flux capacitor, a dinner plate, a tin foil (in which is a light bulb), a drinking glass, your adventuring clothes, a photograph, and some iron bars.
human
You ask the guard about guard
gpt
"So... you're a guard, huh? How's that working for you?"

The eyes behind the door squint. "Are you COMING ON TO ME?"

The numbness on your tongue subsides and some sense returns to it.
human
Lick wire
gpt
Wondering if the wire still has any power, you touch it with your tongue.

*kZAP*

"Ih HOEH hae oheh!" you discover.
human
You ask the guard about the door
gpt
"Could you please open the door?" you ask.

"HA! HA! HA HA HA! HA! HA HA!" is all he replies.
human
You enter the trapdoor
gpt
The guard eyes you through the eyehole.

H.R. stands there next to a large burlap sack.

On the floor are a flux capacitor, a dinner plate, a tin foil (in which is a light bulb), a drinking glass, your adventuring clothes, a photograph, and some iron bars.
human
You wait for a while
gpt
You wait for a while.

The guard grunts and closes the eyehole.
human
You go downwards
gpt
You jump down the trapdoor and find yourself back in the cell. Since the trapdoor is in the middle of the room, you fall through it again. And again. And again.

"Uh.. A little help here?" you ask after falling for some while. The surroundings are just one big blur and it's giving you a headache. "Oh, all right, you big baby," the creature says and shuffles towards the trapdoor. It flips the switch and the trapdoor slides to one side.

Your fall comes to an abrupt end as you smash on the floor. "Owee," you cry and climb on your feet.
human
You pull the switch
gpt
The trapdoor slides to the middle of the room.

The numbness on your tongue subsides and some sense returns to it.
human
You get the capacitor
gpt
You lift the flux capacitor to your arms.
human
You go downwards
gpt
You jump down the trapdoor holding the flux capacitor.
The speed dial's needle on the flux capacitor approaches the 88 mph mark quickly as you fall faster and faster. Colorful sparks fly to the air from the device and when it reaches the mark, there's a blinding bright flash of white light.

You crash on the floor. Or, rather, ground - the stone floor is gone. Along with the rest of the castle.

This is definitely the same place. You recognize the surroundings as the same, but there's nothing but some construction materials lying around.

Dark clouds are gathering above.

*kZAP*

A lightning bolt strikes the flux capacitor and there's another bright flash. Stupefied you stand in the cell again, smoke rising from your ears.

"Mmm. Smoked monkey," H.R. says and licks the part of its face where lips usually are.
human
You show the capacitor to the hr
gpt
"I don't need this anymore."

H.R. sighs. "Of course you don't need it anymore, it's a funking smoldering piece of twisted metal after you got your hands to it!" It yanks the thing from your hands. "I'll get you something, but just so you'll know I'm not happy about this. I have mouths to feed! Let's see... a teleporter... no... an Internet... hmm... Aha, this just takes up room."

The creature pulls out an improbably large structure of wood and metal. It's many times larger than the sack. "I guess I did have a -trebuchet- there!"
human
You look at the leaflet
gpt
It's a manual leaflet for operating the trebuchet.
human
You read it
gpt
"Thank you for purchasing a WallBreaker(tm) catapult! You are now the proud owner of a finest piece of modern medieval siege equipment.

To operate your WallBreaker(tm) catapult:
1) load the mechanism by turning the winch until the arm has come all the way down.
2) insert ammunition (sold separately) on the cup located at the end
of the arm.
3) pull the lever.
4) repeat until the enemy's defensive structures have fallen.
5) storm the castle with your army."
human
Turn winch
gpt
The winch is missing its handles. You can't get a good grip.
human
You examine the trebuchet
gpt
You can't attach them together.

The catapult is a huge wooden structure on four cracked and worn wheels. There's a lever on the side and a mechanism that is apparently meant to throw objects at a great distance.
human
You look at the mechanism
gpt
What do you want to examine: the catapult, or the winch?
human
You look at the winch
gpt
A round wooden disc connects to the machinery with an axle, where it winds the mechanism. It seems to be missing its handles. There are just holes in regular intervals around the rim of the disc.
human
You put bars in holes
gpt
(first taking the iron bars)
You insert the bars into the holes in the winch. They fit perfectly.

"Isn't that just convenient," H.R. remarks.
human
Turn winch
gpt
You turn the winch with all your might and the catapult's mechanism screams and wails as the arm tensions and lowers down.
human
You sit on the trebuchet
gpt
That's not something you can sit down on.

H.R. burps and covers its mouth with its hand. "Sorry. Had Mexicans for lunch."
human
You examine the trebuchet
gpt
The catapult is a huge wooden structure on four cracked and worn wheels. There's a lever on the side and a mechanism that is apparently meant to throw objects at a great distance.
human
You put the plate on the trebuchet
gpt
(the dinner plate on the catapult)
(first taking the dinner plate)
You wedge the plate into the catapult's arm. It looks like it should hold nicely.
human
You pull the lever
gpt
The catapult's arm snaps forward with tremendous force and stops abruptly at the highest peak.

"Whee," H.R. says.
human
You sit on the plate
gpt
(the dinner plate)
You climb on the dinner plate and ponder the situation. "Let's see... I need something heavy to bring down the wall. Something heavy and large..."

You hear H.R. whirr and click with its mouth. "I wonder what this does," it says.

You glance down and see that it fiddles with the catapult's release lever. "Don't..." you have time to say before it yanks the lever fully back.

"YYYAAAAEEEOOUU" *crash*

You have only a faint recollection of what happens next: there seems to be a lot of screaming and hassle around you. And sharp pain, well, everywhere. Eventually you find yourself back in the cell, still a bit dazzled.

"Wow, that was spectacular," H.R. says. "You brought almost the entire wall down. Too bad you weren't conscious enough to make much use of the situation."

"The Screaming Communists on the other hand were very efficient. They built the wall again and removed the catapult to prevent any further 'accidents'," it continues.
human
You show the manual to the hr
gpt
"No thanks," the creature says.
human
You put the foil in the glass
gpt
You put the tin foil with the light bulb inside into the glass and straighten the foil against the glass walls. The foil concentrates the light into a bright beam of light.
human
You attach the wire to door
gpt
You tuck the live end of the wire into the keyhole.
human
You put the silhouette on the glass
gpt
(first taking the photograph)
You put Captain McBrawn's silhouette on top of the drinking glass.

The beam of light emitting from the drinking glass casts a shadow on the wall shaped like the Captain.
human
You point the flashlight at the window
gpt
Captain McBrawn's silhouette reflects clearly to the clouds above. You hold the glass in your hand for several minutes, then support it in the window sill and leave it there.

"What happens now?" H.R. asks. "Is this the cue for you to put on your clothes?"

"No! We wait. Captain McBrawn will be here any minute now." H.R. shrugs and stays silent.

You wait, and wait, and wait. You pace the room from one end to the other again and again. Finally the light bulb flickers ominously and finally burns out completely.

A dreadful darkness falls into the cell but it doesn't last long when the moon comes back from behind the clouds and lights the room with an eerie glow. You give a defeated sigh. H.R. gives you a melancholic look.

A bit later you hear muffled sounds from the corridor. They seem to get louder and louder and you can make out screams and thuds and thumps. You glance hopefully at H.R. who grins and gives you a thumbs-up.

*khaZAM!*

The door practically EXPLODES inwards when the guard's unconscious body flies through it and bright light flows in the cell. You recognize the shadow of the man standing in the door frame.

Yes. It is Captain McBrawn.

"Fear NOT! For I, Captain McBrawn, am here!" He comes in and stands tall in front of you, hands by his waist and holding his sculpture-like chin high. "Let us leave this dreadful place!"

You lower your head. "I have to confess... You told me to go find the President. I didn't get there. The Screaming Communists captured me right away and I failed the mission." The Captain laughs warmly. "Do not worry! I foiled their evil plot with little trouble and came looking for you. The searchlight was very clever of you."

"Well, I had some help..." you say and point at H.R. - but it's gone. You're almost sure you see the tip of its tail disappearing in the ventilation duct. The Captain isn't paying much attention. "Let's go home," he says.

You step over the knocked-out guard and leave.
human
Escapes
gpt
You can escape the cell in following ways:

- pour H.R.'s spit on the window bars
- attach the toilet hole to the door and unlock it
- accelerate to 88 mph while holding the flux capacitor
- trap the cell door's lock with an exposed live wire
- bribe the guard with the whiskey bottle
- enter the air ducts
- move the trapdoor opening sticker to the cell door
- cheat the guard by drinking the magic potion
- repair the trebuchet and break the door down with it
- build a searchlight and call McBrawn for help

Would you like to RESTART, RESTORE a saved game, QUIT, review your SCORE, or see all available ESCAPES (includes spoilers)?
human
You describe your surroundings
gpt
The cell walls are of gray stone and a small barred window leads outside to freedom. A silvery air vent runs right above the window. A light bulb hangs from the ceiling illuminating the cell.

There's a closed trapdoor on the floor.

H.R. waves at you.

On the floor are some iron bars, a flux capacitor, and some glue remover.
human
You check your inventory
gpt
You are carrying a drinking glass, an encyclopedia (in which is a whiskey bottle), and a photograph and wearing your adventuring clothes.

Also, a flux capacitor and some glue remover are on the floor.
human
You attach the wire to the door
gpt
(ktonk)

(first trying to take electrical wire)
"I warned you!" you yell and pull the bulb as hard as you can. The wire snaps and you're left with a bulb attached to nothing but its socket.

Miraculously enough the bulb is still lit even when it's not connected to anything. "Hmm," H.R. muses.
human
You show the whiskey to guard
gpt
"Would you be interested in a... little drink?" you say and dangle the bottle in front of the eyehole. "Uh, is that MEISTERJ?GER? I most certainly SHOULD NOT... Maybe a little bit, JUST TO KEEP ME WARM ... JUST SLIP it through the HOLE, will you?" "It won't fit through," you remark. "I must open the door... But KEEP IT QUIET, WILL YOU?"

There's a click from the keyhole and the door opens slightly. You slip the bottle to the guard who snatches it from your hand and slams the door shut. In his excitement he doesn't remember to lock the door! You wait for a moment and open it very carefully.

The guard is enjoying his prize and doesn't notice you slipping through the door. You navigate through the castle corridors until you stop behind a door where you hear conversation behind it.

"DID YOU HEAR that FEDOR has found a BOTTLE OF MEISTERJ?GER?" a voice yells.

"Meisterj?ger? AND HE'S NOT SHARING?" another voice shouts. Several other voices murmur in unison. It gets harder to hear, but it seems they all decide to pay a visit to Fedor and his bottle. By the time you've deduced this, the door opens and twenty Screaming Communists march out.

"FEDOR, you OLD DRUNK we've come to DRINK FOR YOUR HEALTH and we've BROUGHT YOU A PRESENT," they shout as they shove you to his lap.

"ALL RIGHT, IN WE GO," Fedor shouts and inserts a key in the cell door lock.

*kZAP*

He gets a hefty shock from the keyhole, releasing you from his grip. You bolt away - but bump into the other guards. "FORGOT US, did you? STOP SPASMING FEDOR and do your JOB!"

The sounds of the Screaming Communists gradually die out when the bottle is finally empty and you're back in the cell with H.R.

"Welcome back," it says.
human
Hint
gpt
Warning! You are about to spoil the game for yourself! If you are absolutely sure you need a hint, type HINT again.
human
Hint
gpt
"I bet there's something here you could trade with me," H.R. says.
human
Hint
gpt
"Often after you've used some item you can trade it in," H.R. says.
human
Hint
gpt
"Just try giving me anything you carry or what is in the cell," H.R. says.
human
Look around
gpt
The cell walls are of gray stone and a small barred window leads outside to freedom. A silvery air vent runs right above the window. The light bulb illuminates the cell.

There's an open trapdoor on the floor.

H.R. waves at you.

On the floor are a flux capacitor, some iron bars, and a drinking glass.
human
You check your inventory
gpt
You are carrying an encyclopedia (in which is a light bulb) and a photograph and wearing your adventuring clothes.

Also, a flux capacitor, some iron bars, and a drinking glass are on the floor.

There's a knock on the door. Not waiting for a response the guard opens the door and shouts: "Your DINNER IS HERE!" He throws a plate in the cell with a silvery package on it and locks the door again.
human
Hint
gpt
"Often after you've used some item you can trade it in," H.R. says.
human
Wait
gpt
You wait for a while.

"Booooring," H.R. says and yawns.
human
You examine the dinner
gpt
There's a tin foil on the plate.
human
You attach the wire to the door
gpt
You tuck the live end of the wire into the keyhole.

"Aww, that's just nasty," H.R. says.

There's a knock on the door. The guard doesn't wait for a response but starts turning the key in the lock and shouts: "Your DINNER IS..."

*kZap*

The electrical wire gives a good shock to the guard and he flies backwards to the opposite wall. You go see if the door opened - and it did! You take off into the corridors.

After wandering around the castle for some while you realize you have no idea where you are. The corridors and staircases create a maze where you just can't know where you're going.

You turn around a corner and bump into the guard who is still a bit dazed. He reacts quickly now and grabs a hold of you. "And STAY THERE!" he shouts when he throws you back in the cell.

A plate with a tin foil bundle on it has been left in the cell.
human
Xyzzy
gpt
H.R.'s voice says, "Oh come on! Talk about beating a dead horse!"
human
Escape
gpt
Yes, that would be the general idea. You just have to be a bit more specific.
human
Escape cell
gpt
That command is too complex; you might want to try to just escape.
human
You ask HR about the cell
gpt
"What is this place anyhow? Where are we?"

"This is Castle Schweinehund," H.R. tells you. "Story goes that the previous owners built it on an ancient burial ground and used it to perform occultist rituals, opening portals to other worlds and so on. Sounds like old wives' tales to me," it says and runs its hand across its tail.
human
You ask the hr about the magic
gpt
"Yes, yes, run along now," H.R. says.
human
You go to the north
gpt
About Escapade!
> How to play
Talking with characters
Settings
License

About Escapade!
> How to play
Talking with characters
Settings
License
human
Go north
gpt
About Escapade!
How to play
> Talking with characters
Settings
License

About Escapade!
How to play
> Talking with characters
Settings
License
human
You go north
gpt
About Escapade!
How to play
Talking with characters
> Settings
License

About Escapade!
How to play
Talking with characters
> Settings
License
human
Go north
gpt
About Escapade!
How to play
Talking with characters
Settings
> License

About Escapade!
How to play
Talking with characters
Settings
> License
human
P.
gpt
About Escapade!
How to play
Talking with characters
Settings
License

> About Escapade!
How to play
Talking with characters
Settings
License
Escapade! was an entry to the One Room Game Competition 2008 where it finished second out of seven games and was later nominated for three XYZZY awards.

If you get stuck, there's a HINT command and a walkthrough included in a separate file. The hints and the walkthrough will cover only the minimum solution, so there will still be some optional puzzles you have to find the solution without help.

The source code is distributed with the game. You can also download it from http://www.nitku.net/if/escapade/. You are free to modify the game or use snippets from the code; see LICENSE for details.

There's a good chance of a post-competition release. If you find bugs or you have other suggestions, please email me.
I'm also interested in seeing transcripts of playthroughs.

And last but not least, a big thank you to the playtesters: Taleslinger, Mike Tarbert, Christian Moura, George Oliver, Jim Aikin, S. John Ross, and Roger Carbol. Thank you to everyone who later sent transcripts of their plays. This would have been a lesser game without your help.

> About Escapade!
How to play
Talking with characters
Settings
License

> About Escapade!
How to play
Talking with characters
Settings
License
human
Kiss clothes
gpt
Keep your mind on the game.
human
You give the clothes to the hrthe .
gpt
(first taking the clothes off)
"Look, we made a deal and you should keep it. I don't take extortion lightly," H.R. snaps.
human
You put the clothes in the trapdoor
gpt
The adventuring clothes fall down the trapdoor and land back in front of you.
human
You touch the clothes
gpt
Mmm. Mom has used the good fabric softener.

"I hear your mom lost some weight so they changed her classification to dwarf planet," H.R. quips.

"Hey! Don't talk like that about my mom!" you yell at it.
human
You eat the clothes
gpt
Let's leave that to orcs and such.
human
Smell the clothes
gpt
They smell like... you.
human
Search clothes
gpt
They are a pair of green pocketless pants and a gray wool sweater. Your adventuring clothes - that's what mom said when she bought them. They've turned out being not very well suited for the purpose though. They're very thick and a bit too big.

"Your mom is so ugly they moved Halloween to her birthday," H.R. says.

"That's just so not cool!" you cry.
human
You examine them
gpt
They are a pair of green pocketless pants and a gray wool sweater. Your adventuring clothes - that's what mom said when she bought them. They've turned out being not very well suited for the purpose though. They're very thick and a bit too big.
human
You read them
gpt
There are no care labels. Mom knows how to wash them even without.

"Your mom is so poor her picture is on the food stamp," H.R. says.

"Shut up, you... whatever you are," you snap at the thing.
human
You squeeze them
gpt
They're all dry already.

H.R. digs a paper tissue from its bag and tries to wipe some spit from around its mouth. The tissue sizzles and melts away leaving just a faint trace of smoke.
human
You throw them
gpt
The adventuring clothes are already here.
human
Sing
gpt
You proudly hum Captain McBrawn's theme song and regain a good dose of courage and morale.
human
Fuck
gpt
Such language! What would your mother think of you?

"Your mom is so clumsy, when she falls down she misses the ground," H.R. says.

"Why are you being so mean," you cry.
human
You ask the hr about the mom
gpt
"Yes, yes, run along now," H.R. says.
human
Pause
gpt
The game is now paused. Type any command to continue.