system
You are the dungeon master of a text adventure game. The game should involve the following genres and tags:
, collaboration,I7 source available,key-pooping creature,many authors,walkthrough
gpt
Four p.m. and they're all gone, every last one of them. Little brats made of spittle and claws. Paint-spilling, dirt-tracking, crayon-smearing babies in kindergarteners' clothing. The day you took your job was the day you lost your mind.

Not that you have other prospects, though. This is what you've got and it isn't all that safe. And besides, it gets better now. Now you make order from chaos. Now you spin gold from straw. You're going to wipe every last bit of color and clutter off the face of this room and get out by five-thirty sharp.

Is there a national conspiracy to make young eyes pop out by age five from overstimulation? Must be. Every last inch of wall space here, save for the window, is plastered with needless decor: nature caricatures, inspirational glurge, posters with cartoon letters and plus signs. The floor's no better; the brats didn't pick up when Miss Lauren told them to pick up and now it's cluttered with gaudy plastic. The books are tossed into the carpet square pile and someone's dripped tempera paint onto every table. You could go on.
human
About yourself
gpt
What's there to see? Short hair that the kids nevertheless keep fussing with, sensible clothes on a stocky frame. Arms, legs, hands, feet. Nothing to set you apart.
human
You check your inventory
gpt
You are carrying nothing.

You look up and then you see it. There's a balloon, floating through the window and stopping right in front of your face - no, not stopping exactly. Stopping would be too tidy. It's hovering. Balloons shouldn't do that. They should stay put on strings. You're sure this
has to be some kind of fire hazard.
human
You look at the balloon
gpt
When did America decide balloon inflation, of all things, was too hard for them? It's got too much air and is liable to pop any minute. All the better to accentuate the sub-tie-dye coloring catastrophe. Oranges clashing with purples, reds superimposed on top of greens and blues turning them into bright but somehow murky muddle. You thought only Mylar could support this many godawful neons, but apparently you were wrong.
human
You take the plastic
gpt
You pick up a toy and stack it in the bin, but by the time you get back to the pile there just seem to be more. What fool decided to make toys reproduce?
human
You take the book
gpt
You dig through the pile a bit, but it just collapses in on itself. Ugh.
human
Clean paint
gpt
It's no use; the tables just become a light apricot.
human
Look around
gpt
Every last inch of wall space here, save for the window, is plastered with needless decor: nature caricatures, inspirational glurge, posters with cartoon letters and plus signs. The floor's no better; the brats didn't pick up when Miss Lauren told them to pick up and now it's cluttered with gaudy plastic. The books are tossed into the carpet square pile and someone's dripped tempera paint onto every table. And there's more, it seems, every second. Leaves and dirt by the doorway. Shredded paper that's not in the waste bin.

A balloon hovers around your face, insect-like.
human
You take the balloon
gpt
"Don't touch that!" someone almost shrieks. A kid? No, too old. A teacher? Too unfamiliar. You have no idea who this is.
human
Continue
gpt
Screw the voice. This is your classroom right now. You pick up the balloon, grimacing a bit at the noisy latex. It shifts in your arms worse than any of the kids ever did. Maybe the voice was right, you mutter, watching the balloon's skin go fainter.

"Isn't it wonderful? Everything is better with balloons. Now listen to me. Today we're going to have some fun!" You're've never heard anyone talk this loudly, not even to kids. It's unnerving. "Let's play a game. Let's go play outside! Just walk right on out of there. To the south."
human
You go to the south
gpt
Really, this was just a glorified hallway. You used to like places like this. Tiles and cinderblocks. No-nonsense, nothing gaudy. They do just what they promise: take you from room to room without asserting themselves. But something's gone terrible wrong. The whole floor is lousy with confetti, thick as snow and almost painful to look at.

"Looks a lot better now, doesn't it?" shouts the voice. You've never heard such a loud question. "Now get out. Fast." You notice the door to the east is ajar.
human
You examine the confetti
gpt
Every kind you could possibly imagine and then some you couldn't: cut construction paper, punched plastic, tinsel hearts and music notes, squiggles, dots, like an explosion in a crayon factory.
human
You search it
gpt
You sift through the confetti, but find nothing but more of it. What were you hoping for? Gold?
human
Yes
gpt
That was a rhetorical question.
human
You go to the east
gpt
The students aren't usually allowed back here. You can go north, south, or east.
human
Go north
gpt
You've never been to this area before. A brown door is east, and south is behind the school (technically south is also outside the school, but we have to tell them apart somehow).

An angry crow darts around.
human
You examine the crow
gpt
The crow obviously has a bad attitude. It caws noisily at you.
human
You open it
gpt
(first unlocking the brown door)
You lack a key that fits the brown door.
human
You go to the south
gpt
The students aren't usually allowed back here. You can go north, south, or east.

Floating into the area is a pink balloon.
human
You take the balloon
gpt
A waft of air blows the pink balloon out of your reach.
human
You go to the south
gpt
It is peaceful under the tree. You can go north to behind the school.

A lush tree grows, reaching into the sky.
human
You examine tree
gpt
You see nothing special about the lush tree.

Floating into the area is a pink balloon.
human
Go upwards
gpt
You cling precariously up here among the green leaves, and can get to the roof to the west.
human
Examine leaves
gpt
You find a paper page among the leaves.
human
You take the page
gpt
You already have that.
human
You read it
gpt
Not much to read there.
human
You look at it
gpt
You shudder at the sight of triangles and equations -- MATH!
human
You check what you're carrying
gpt
You are carrying:
a paper page
human
Go west
gpt
A quiet albeit windy retreat.

A metal machine, taller than you are, is here with a math book wedged underneath it.
human
You look at the machine
gpt
It is too tall for you to reach its top.
human
You look at the book
gpt
Propping up a machine is as good a use for math as any, in your opinion. It seems to have a page missing.
human
You put the page in the book
gpt
You wedge all the pages back into the book. The metal machine shifts only slightly, but something falls off the top!
human
Look around
gpt
A quiet albeit windy retreat.

A metal machine, taller than you are, is here with a math book wedged underneath it.

You can also see a wooden slingshot here.
human
You take the slingshot
gpt
Taken.
human
You look at it
gpt
It must have been seized from a grubby little terrorist wannabe.
human
You go to the east
gpt
You cling precariously up here among the green leaves, and can get to the roof to the west.
human
Go north
gpt
The students aren't usually allowed back here. You can go north, south, or east.

A pink balloon floats here.

The pink balloon floats away.
human
You go east
gpt
You try to keep your shoes as clean as possible here. The only way is back west.

A pink balloon floats here.

A shallow hole has been dug by some small archaeologist.
human
You examine hole
gpt
You retrieve two small marbles from it.
human
You go to the west
gpt
The students aren't usually allowed back here. You can go north, south, or east.

Floating into the area is a pink balloon.
human
You put the marble in the slingshot
gpt
Hmm, I take it you want to shoot something with this device?
human
You shoot the balloon with slingshot
gpt
You take careful aim at the pink balloon and ... THWACK!! A direct hit pops the balloon and something falls out.
human
You look around
gpt
The students aren't usually allowed back here. You can go north, south, or east.

You can see a toilet roll here.
human
You take the roll
gpt
Taken.
human
You look at the roll
gpt
Used to clean things, especially the backside.
human
Inventory
gpt
You are carrying:
a toilet roll
a small marble
a wooden slingshot
human
Go north
gpt
You've never been to this area before. A brown door is east, and south is behind the school (technically south is also outside the school, but we have to tell them apart somehow).

An angry crow darts around.
human
You shoot the crow with the slingshot
gpt
You take careful aim at the angry crow and ... MISS!!

It looks ticked-off now, and starts circling the area!
human
Author
gpt
Scene 2, "Terrorist Wannabe", was written by Rick Dague.
human
Go south
gpt
The students aren't usually allowed back here. You can go north, south, or east.

The crow is still flying around excitedly!
human
Go south
gpt
It is peaceful under the tree. You can go north to behind the school.

A lush tree grows, reaching into the sky.

You can see the crow lining up for a run at you! Watch out!
human
You go upwards
gpt
You cling precariously up here among the green leaves, and can get to the roof to the west.

The angry crow makes its move!

The bird dives at your head and dropping a "bomb" -- DIRECT HIT!!
human
You examine the bomb
gpt
You see nothing special about the green mess.

Something stinks!
human
You check what you're carrying
gpt
You are carrying:
a green mess
a toilet roll
a wooden slingshot

Something stinks!
human
You drop the mess
gpt
You tear some paper off of the toilet roll and the mess cleans right up. Plus you find something in the goo!
human
You check what you're carrying
gpt
You are carrying:
a bronze key
a toilet roll
a wooden slingshot
human
You go north
gpt
You've never been to this area before. A brown door is east, and south is behind the school (technically south is also outside the school, but we have to tell them apart somehow).
human
You unlock the door with the key
gpt
You unlock the brown door.
human
Go east
gpt
(first opening the brown door)

The light is dim, and exits are west and east.
human
Author
gpt
Scene 3, "Job Fair", was written by Dan Shiovitz.
human
Go east
gpt
You take a few steps before the floor collapses.
It seems like a good idea to scream, so you do so.
human
You look at the pile
gpt
It's a big pile of .. stuff. That rustles. Good thing you don't have any cattle.
human
Search pile
gpt
It's too dark to do anything with the pile, really.
human
Go north
gpt
You struggle to your feet, strewing rustly stuff everywhere. Somewhere in the process of doing so you bump against a light switch or something, and things become brighter.

This room is mostly occupied by a large pile of shredded paper. There aren't any obvious exits, but the north wall is entirely occupied by the backside of a large machine.
human
You examine the machine
gpt
The machine takes up the entire north wall. Given the circumstances and the large label it is easy to identify this as an enormous shredder. There is a small hatch near floor level, and a large funnely sort of thing up top.

You hear a noise from above your head, and look up just in time to see a small metal object falling from the sky. It bounces painfully off your head and disappears into the pile of shredded paper.
human
Search pile
gpt
You'd think this would be like trying to find a, uh, small metal thing in a large pile of other stuff, but in fact it's not that bad, since this particular bit of metal talks. "--Come on come on I'm right over here this is totally obv--" it is saying as you pick it up. "Finally! It's about time you found me!"
"Uh, what?" you say.
"It's me! Roz!" And you finally realize it's the same voice as earlier. "You popped my balloon! It took me forever to get down here!"
human
You look at Roz
gpt
It's a pyramid-shaped piece of metal which, surprisingly, can talk. For instance, right now it says "Quit starin' at me and get on with things!"
human
You examine the hatch
gpt
The hatch is labelled "MAINTENANCE". It's closed.
human
You open it
gpt
You open the hatch.
human
You enter it
gpt
You squeeze your way through the hatch and eventually come out the other side.

This is a big open area. Hundreds of beings of all heights, colors, eyestalkitude and tentaclosity are wandering around, visiting little booths, and waving bits of paper, but mostly they're standing in line.

The room (and the crowd) stretches out in all directions except south, where the whole wall is taken up by the giant shredder.
human
You examine the crowd
gpt
Some have fur, some have claws, some have tails, some have ears, some have green skin, some have blue skin. But judging by the papers they're holding, what they all have is a determination to get a job.

"What does he mean, overqualified?" says a furred lizard-thing, angrily, to its scaled bear-thing companion. "I have a mere sixteen years of experience!"
human
Go west
gpt
You can't go that way.

A nearby vendor suddenly leaps out of her booth. "I hate this job!" she shouts. "I'm finding a new one!" She disappears into the crowd, leaving the empty booth abandoned behind her. You look over at it, curiously.
human
Examine booth
gpt
This display booth is empty, at least of people. A colorful sign on the booth says "THE AMAZING UNSHRED-O-MATIC" and sitting on the booth is what you presume to be the unshred-o-matic in question.
human
You examine unshred
gpt
It seems to be composed mainly of a bin, some unblades, and a button.

"No, no, that won't do at all," says an interviewer at one of the booths to a gelatinous blob. "I'm afraid chuffling certification is an absolute requirement for any job here." The blob jiggles unhappily and oozes away. The interviewer shrugs and shoves the blob's resume into a nearby tube, where it's immediately sucked out of sight.
human
You go south
gpt
You squeeze your way through the hatch and eventually come out the other side.

This room is mostly occupied by a large pile of shredded paper. There aren't any obvious exits, but the north wall is entirely occupied by the backside of a large machine.
human
You take the paper
gpt
You pick up all the larger pieces you can find. There are four.
human
You go north
gpt
You squeeze your way through the hatch and eventually come out the other side.

This is a big open area. Hundreds of beings of all heights, colors, eyestalkitude and tentaclosity are wandering around, visiting little booths, and waving bits of paper, but mostly they're standing in line.

The room (and the crowd) stretches out in all directions except south, where the whole wall is taken up by the giant shredder. Nearby you notice a small, unstaffed booth.
human
Inventory
gpt
You are carrying:
a khaki-colored resume piece
an ecru-colored resume piece
a beige-colored resume piece
a cream-colored resume piece
a Roz pyramid
a bronze key
a toilet roll
a wooden slingshot

A mime uses its tentacles to give an impromptu demonstration of being trapped in an invisible rocket ship and walking against a tractor beam. Its interviewer is unimpressed, however, and consigns the mime's resume to a shredder tube.
human
You examine the khaki
gpt
This fragment of a resume is printed on khaki-colored paper. Glancing over it, you make out a few phrases that seem relevant: "Certifications: Pommelation (Basic and Advanced), Chuffling, Black-Belt Lean Six Sigma", "Blood type: O"
human
You examine the ecru
gpt
This fragment of a resume is printed on ecru-colored paper. Glancing over it, you make out a few phrases that seem relevant: "Years of experience: 1", "Ever since I was a mere pod, my ambition to be a Waffgasketeer has been ..", "Hobbies: Trandozian bass, flapjacks"

"Only four years?" a green chimpanzee says to a blue chimpanzee. "They'll never take anyone with that little."
human
You look at the beige
gpt
This fragment of a resume is printed on beige-colored paper. Glancing over it, you make out a few phrases that seem relevant: "It is my fondest hope that as a Jark Inverter I will ..", "Education: Yalneeple College of Higher Kurfting, "D4", "With my fifteen years of experience .."
human
You look at the cream
gpt
This fragment of a resume is printed on cream-colored paper. Glancing over it, you make out a few phrases that seem relevant: "0 (approximate)", "Scent glands: removed (references available on request)", "Languages known: none."

Two aliens get into an argument over who was next in line. The debate is resolved when the smaller one unhinges its jaw surprisingly far and eats the other.
human
You put the beige in unshred
gpt
You put the beige-colored resume piece into the unshred-o-matic.
human
You look at unshred
gpt
It seems to be composed mainly of a bin, some unblades, and a button. In the unshredder you see beige-colored resume piece.

An armadillo-like alien has a conversation with a vendor in a nearby booth about their new line of metallic post-it notes.
human
You put the cream in unshred
gpt
You put the cream-colored resume piece into the unshred-o-matic.
human
You take the tan
gpt
You already have that.
human
You examine the tan
gpt
The resume lists a number of hobbies and qualifications you don't really understand, but you do manage to make out a claim of 15 years of experience and a request for a position as a Jark Inverter.

Two aliens get into an argument over who was next in line. The debate is resolved when the smaller one unhinges its jaw surprisingly far and eats the other.
human
You get in the line
gpt
You get into the line, and wait. And wait, and wait. Eventually you reach the front, where you are scrutinized by a sort of mutant crab-zebra thing. "GIVE ME THAT RESUME!" it roars, snatching it from you. Then it produces a pair of surprisingly small spectacles and settles them on its eyestalks as it reads over your resume. "Good .. good .. nice genetic structure .. excellent center of mass .." Suddenly it stops and looks up at you. "YOU DON'T HAVE THE CERTIFICATION FOR THIS JOB". With one enormous claw, it shoves your resume into a nearby tube which, you fear, leads directly to the shredder. "GET OUT OF HERE!" To the accompaniment of menacing pincer snaps and glares from the other interviewees, you slink out of the line.
human
You go south
gpt
You squeeze your way through the hatch and eventually come out the other side.

This room is mostly occupied by a large pile of shredded paper. There aren't any obvious exits, but the north wall is entirely occupied by the backside of a large machine.
human
You take the paper
gpt
You pick up all the larger pieces you can find. There are four.
human
Inventory
gpt
You are carrying:
a khaki-colored resume piece
an ecru-colored resume piece
a beige-colored resume piece
a cream-colored resume piece
a Roz pyramid
a bronze key
a toilet roll
a wooden slingshot
human
You go north
gpt
You squeeze your way through the hatch and eventually come out the other side.

This is a big open area. Hundreds of beings of all heights, colors, eyestalkitude and tentaclosity are wandering around, visiting little booths, and waving bits of paper, but mostly they're standing in line.

The room (and the crowd) stretches out in all directions except south, where the whole wall is taken up by the giant shredder. Nearby you notice a small, unstaffed booth.

"What does he mean, overqualified?" says a furred lizard-thing, angrily, to its scaled bear-thing companion. "I have a mere sixteen years of experience!"
human
You examine the khaki
gpt
This fragment of a resume is printed on khaki-colored paper. Glancing over it, you make out a few phrases that seem relevant: "Certifications: Pommelation (Basic and Advanced), Chuffling, Black-Belt Lean Six Sigma", "Blood type: O"
human
You examine beige
gpt
This fragment of a resume is printed on beige-colored paper. Glancing over it, you make out a few phrases that seem relevant: "It is my fondest hope that as a Jark Inverter I will ..", "Education: Yalneeple College of Higher Kurfting, "D4", "With my fifteen years of experience .."

"No, no, that won't do at all," says an interviewer at one of the booths to a gelatinous blob. "I'm afraid chuffling certification is an absolute requirement for any job here." The blob jiggles unhappily and oozes away. The interviewer shrugs and shoves the blob's resume into a nearby tube, where it's immediately sucked out of sight.
human
You examine the cream
gpt
This fragment of a resume is printed on cream-colored paper. Glancing over it, you make out a few phrases that seem relevant: "0 (approximate)", "Scent glands: removed (references available on request)", "Languages known: none."
human
You put the khaki in unshred
gpt
You put the khaki-colored resume piece into the unshred-o-matic.

A mime uses its tentacles to give an impromptu demonstration of being trapped in an invisible rocket ship and walking against a tractor beam. Its interviewer is unimpressed, however, and consigns the mime's resume to a shredder tube.
human
You put the cream in unshred
gpt
You put the cream-colored resume piece into the unshred-o-matic.
human
You get in line
gpt
You get into the line, and wait. And wait, and wait. Eventually you reach the front, where you are scrutinized by a sort of mutant crab-zebra thing. "GIVE ME THAT RESUME!" it roars, snatching it from you. Then it produces a pair of surprisingly small spectacles and settles them on its eyestalks as it reads over your resume. "Good .. good .. nice genetic structure .. excellent center of mass .." Suddenly it stops and looks up at you. "YOU'RE TOO INEXPERIENCED!". With one enormous claw, it shoves your resume into a nearby tube which, you fear, leads directly to the shredder. "GET OUT OF HERE!" To the accompaniment of menacing pincer snaps and glares from the other interviewees, you slink out of the line.

An armadillo-like alien has a conversation with a vendor in a nearby booth about their new line of metallic post-it notes.
human
You look at the ecru
gpt
This fragment of a resume is printed on ecru-colored paper. Glancing over it, you make out a few phrases that seem relevant: "Years of experience: 1", "Ever since I was a mere pod, my ambition to be a Waffgasketeer has been ..", "Hobbies: Trandozian bass, flapjacks"
human
O khaki
gpt
You put the khaki-colored resume piece into the unshred-o-matic.

"Only four years?" a green chimpanzee says to a blue chimpanzee. "They'll never take anyone with that little."
human
You put the beige in unshred
gpt
You put the beige-colored resume piece into the unshred-o-matic.

Two aliens get into an argument over who was next in line. The debate is resolved when the smaller one unhinges its jaw surprisingly far and eats the other.
human
You look at the tan
gpt
The resume lists a number of hobbies and qualifications you don't really understand, but you do manage to make out a claim of 15 years of experience, a request for a position as a Jark Inverter, and multiple certifications.

"What does he mean, overqualified?" says a furred lizard-thing, angrily, to its scaled bear-thing companion. "I have a mere sixteen years of experience!"
human
You get in the line
gpt
You get into the line, and wait. And wait, and wait. Eventually you reach the front, where you are scrutinized by a sort of mutant crab-zebra thing. "GIVE ME THAT RESUME!" it roars, snatching it from you. Then it produces a pair of surprisingly small spectacles and settles them on its eyestalks as it reads over your resume. "Good .. good .. nice genetic structure .. excellent center of mass .." Suddenly it stops and looks up at you. "YOU'LL DO." Before you can react, it has grabbed you and shoved you through the door behind it. "HR WILL BE IN TOUCH" is the last thing you hear as the door closes again.

Metal Box Room.

"Thank goodness I'm here!," Roz says.
human
You look around
gpt
Metal Box Room.

"Yessir, if it weren't for me, you wouldn't have any way of getting out," Roz says.
human
Author
gpt
Scene 4, "Telepyramids", was written by Carl Muckenhoupt.
human
You ask Roz about the Room
gpt
"Sorry, what? I was thinking about what I'm going to do for my next game."

"If you want help getting out of here, just ask," Roz says.
human
You ask Roz about the help
gpt
"Stop talking and do something interesting!"

"Ask me, that is," Roz says. "If you weren't sure."
human
You ask Roz about getting out of here
gpt
"That's boring."

"And if you wanted to know, say, what subject to ask me about," Roz says. "I'd suggest, oh, Roz."
human
You ask Roz about Roz
gpt
"I'm Roz! I'm a control unit! I can talk to Sally and Leon and all the other units and they have to do what I say."

"Ok, well, I don't want to be pushy," says Roz. "Nothing worse than a pushy talking pyramid."
human
You ask Roz about Sally
gpt
"Sally's a teleportation unit. If you want to go visit her, just say her name and I'll tell her to bring us in."

"Yep, gonna shut up now. Not gonna say a thing more unless you ask."
human
You ask Roz about Leon
gpt
"Leon's a supply unit. He helps me all the time by giving me things for playing games with, like confetti and poison gas and marbles and explosives and balloons and razor blades."
human
Sally
gpt
The Roz pyramid brightly says "Roger that!"
You have a moment of vertigo, and suddenly you're elsewhere.

This is a cramped hollow inside some kind of mechanism. Cogwheels poke your ribs as the smell of machine oil assaults your nostrils. A rusty hatch is latched shut.

And yet, someone must be spending a lot of time in here, because there's a small cot resting on a couple of planks.

On the small cot are a Sally pyramid and a dream diary.
human
You read the diary
gpt
Taken.

"I've been having really weird dreams since I started sleeping in the machine on top of the old abandoned school, so I thought I should try to write them down and figure out what they mean. I'll start with the dream I had las night: I was in some kind of lab or military complex or something in a dystopian future, and they were doing something with corn. The corn was very sinister, very menacing. I think it represented death. In the end I escaped the whole thing in a rocketship, which is a blatant phallic symbol. So I guess that's about sex as a bid for immortality or something? I dunno, my subconscious has weird ideas sometimes."
human
You read the diary
gpt
"Day 2. Last night's dream was one of those shifting ones than never really settles on a theme. At first I was a spy or something, and I was trying to escape from enemies in a hotel which was also a lab which was also a sultan's palace, or something like that. And I escaped them by rail through some kind of fantasy kingdom accompanied by a weasel. I'm having trouble finding symbols here. I guess the sense of running away from things was strong, but only in the beginning."
human
You read the diary
gpt
"Day 3. I was back in my old house, the one from before I moved to the machine, but it was empty, and the world was ruled by insectoid aliens, but I just accepted that as good, because they had mind-control powers or something. I escaped by riding a missile (another blatant phallic symbol), and wound up on the moon, in another of those strange laboratories which seem to be the most common feature of my dreams these days. Maybe this is has something to do with those four days I can't remember? I was guided some of the time by a disembodied voice, which is traditionally supposed to be a manifestation of the divine or something. I hope I don't start hearing it in real life."
human
You read the diary
gpt
"Day 4. I was in the desert, which shifted between being a post-apocalyptic wasteland and the outskirts of Las Vegas and I think Egypt at one point. I was looking for a treasure, which turned out to be a goddess, and a blatantly erotic one too. Putting her at the end of a search in the desert is probably a sorry commentary on my sex life. The only other thing I remember was a disgusting dog who kept showing up and hindered me at every turn. I think he represented my father."
human
You read the diary
gpt
"Day 5. I don't remember a lot about this dream, but I have a feeling it was more coherent than the others. I was back in the old school, cleaning up after the children, and there was a disembodied voice that wanted me to stop working there. But then the voice turned out to be coming from a small metal pyramid, just like the one I use as a pillow. There were lots of pyramids like that, and they had names like Sally and Jojo. That's all I remember."
human
You read the diary
gpt
The rest of the pages are blank.
human
You ask Roz about Jojo
gpt
"Jojo, she left us. Wanted a solitary life, on one of those empty backwater planets. Guess you could visit her, if you need a vacation."
human
Jojo
gpt
The Roz pyramid brightly says "Teleport activating now!"
You have a moment of vertigo, and suddenly you're elsewhere.

This hut, wherever it may be, is made of thick glass, distorting the outside to something like a watercolor painting. A foam rubber mattress and a wardrobe seem to be the only bits of furniture. The doorway outside is south.

In the middle of the hut sits an old-fashioned oven. It is connected by loose wires, through a hole in the ceiling, to some sort of dish on top of the hut.

In a corner sits a robot. It looks like an old TV-set with metal tentacles attached. Inside, through a glass window, you can see one of the pyramids.
It holds a scrap of green, continous paper in one of the tentacles.

You can also see a bowl (empty) here.
human
You examine Jojo
gpt
(the robot)
You see nothing special about the robot.
human
Author
gpt
Scene 5, "Jojo gets a cookie", was written by Taleslinger.
human
You examine the bowl
gpt
A small bowl, perhaps for mixing dough in it?
human
You examine the oven
gpt
It is old, spotted with rust, but surprisingly clean. It has a single button. In it you see nothing.
human
You ask Jojo about cookie
gpt
(the robot about that)
The robot seems to ignore you purposefully.
human
You ask Roz about the oven
gpt
"Sorry, what? I was thinking about what I'm going to do for my next game."
human
You ask Roz about the next game
gpt
"I like to play! It's not what I was designed for, but I have a lot of free time. My favorite game is the one where you find someone who's unhappy and you threaten their life in a way that forces them to choose between changing what they're unhappy about or dying, and you see which they choose. It's great because either way their unhappiness is over."
human
You look around
gpt
This hut, wherever it may be, is made of thick glass, distorting the outside to something like a watercolor painting. A foam rubber mattress and a wardrobe seem to be the only bits of furniture. The doorway outside is south.

In the middle of the hut sits an old-fashioned oven. It is connected by loose wires, through a hole in the ceiling, to some sort of dish on top of the hut.

In a corner sits a robot. It looks like an old TV-set with metal tentacles attached. Inside, through a glass window, you can see one of the pyramids.
It holds a scrap of green, continous paper in one of the tentacles.

You can also see a bowl (empty) here.
human
You examine the wires
gpt
These loose wires, judging by their color, seem to stem from all kind of sources, varying in thickness and level of insulation.
human
You examine the wardrobe
gpt
It's a blue, wooden wardrobe. It looks too small to store all of the stuff one may need, but maybe it's bigger on the inside.
human
You open it
gpt
It's locked.
human
You ask Jojo for the paper
gpt
(the robot for the scrap)
The robot seems to ignore you purposefully.
human
You look at mattress
gpt
It's a comfy looking mattress."
human
Sleep
gpt
You're hardly tired, and besides, bedtime is ten p.m. sharp. No earlier, no later. Your biological clock is a delicate thing.
human
You get the paper
gpt
You carefully remove the paper from the claw. The robot doesn't seem to mind.
human
You take the mattress
gpt
That's hardly portable.
human
You examine paper
gpt
I WANT COOKIE - CAN GIVE YOU SOMETHING- RECIPE - CUKROVINCA FLOUR - AN EGG - A JARK-
"Wow" says Roz, "she off the hook."
human
You ask Roz about the egg
gpt
"That's boring."
human
You ask Roz about the flour
gpt
"Sorry, what? I was thinking about what I'm going to do for my next game."
human
You ask Roz about Leon
gpt
"Leon's a supply unit. He helps me all the time by giving me things for playing games with, like confetti and poison gas and marbles and explosives and balloons and razor blades."
human
Sally
gpt
The Roz pyramid brightly says "Aye-aye!"
You have a moment of vertigo, and suddenly you're elsewhere.

This is a cramped hollow inside some kind of mechanism. Cogwheels poke your ribs as the smell of machine oil assaults your nostrils. A rusty hatch is latched shut.

And yet, someone must be spending a lot of time in here, because there's a small cot resting on a couple of planks.

On the small cot is a Sally pyramid.
human
You ask Sally about Leon
gpt
You can only do that to something animate.
human
You open hatch
gpt
You open the rusty hatch.
human
Leave
gpt
A quiet albeit windy retreat.

A metal machine, taller than you are, is here with a math book wedged underneath it.
human
You enter hatch
gpt
This is a cramped hollow inside some kind of mechanism. Cogwheels poke your ribs as the smell of machine oil assaults your nostrils. A rusty hatch leads out into the fresh air.

And yet, someone must be spending a lot of time in here, because there's a small cot resting on a couple of planks.

On the small cot is a Sally pyramid.
human
You take Sally
gpt
Taken.
human
Jojo
gpt
The Roz pyramid brightly says "Roger that!"
You have a moment of vertigo, and suddenly you're elsewhere.

This hut, wherever it may be, is made of thick glass, distorting the outside to something like a watercolor painting. A foam rubber mattress and a wardrobe seem to be the only bits of furniture. The doorway outside is south.

In the middle of the hut sits an old-fashioned oven. It is connected by loose wires, through a hole in the ceiling, to some sort of dish on top of the hut.

In a corner sits a robot. It looks like an old TV-set with metal tentacles attached. Inside, through a glass window, you can see one of the pyramids.
human
You put Sally on the cot
gpt
You put the Sally pyramid on the small cot.
human
Leave
gpt
A quiet albeit windy retreat.

A metal machine, taller than you are, is here with a math book wedged underneath it.
human
You go to the east
gpt
You cling precariously up here among the green leaves, and can get to the roof to the west.
human
You go east
gpt
You try to keep your shoes as clean as possible here. The only way is back west.

A shallow hole has been dug by some small archaeologist.
human
Go east
gpt
The light is dim, and exits are west and east.
human
You go to the east
gpt
Well, the floor to the east is basically an open pit now, but you know the fall is survivable. So after a brief hesitation, you fling yourself in.

This room is mostly occupied by a large pile of shredded paper. There aren't any obvious exits, but the north wall is entirely occupied by the backside of a large machine.
human
You look at paper
gpt
(the scrap)
I WANT COOKIE - CAN GIVE YOU SOMETHING- RECIPE - CUKROVINCA FLOUR - AN EGG - A JARK-
"Wow" says Roz, "she off the hook."
human
You check your inventory
gpt
You are carrying:
a bowl
a scrap
a dream diary
a Roz pyramid
a bronze key
a toilet roll
a wooden slingshot
human
You go north
gpt
You squeeze your way through the hatch and eventually come out the other side.

This is a big open area. Hundreds of beings of all heights, colors, eyestalkitude and tentaclosity are wandering around, visiting little booths, and waving bits of paper, but mostly they're standing in line.

The room (and the crowd) stretches out in all directions except south, where the whole wall is taken up by the giant shredder. Nearby you notice a small, unstaffed booth.
human
You put the diary in unshred
gpt
You put the dream diary into the unshred-o-matic.

"No, no, that won't do at all," says an interviewer at one of the booths to a gelatinous blob. "I'm afraid chuffling certification is an absolute requirement for any job here." The blob jiggles unhappily and oozes away. The interviewer shrugs and shoves the blob's resume into a nearby tube, where it's immediately sucked out of sight.
human
You take the diary
gpt
Taken.

An armadillo-like alien has a conversation with a vendor in a nearby booth about their new line of metallic post-it notes.
human
You put the paper in unshred
gpt
You put the scrap into the unshred-o-matic.
human
You go to the south
gpt
You step outside and find yourself under a clear, disturbingly puple sky, where yellow lightning flashes silently in dark, grey clouds. The air is humid and humming with life. Almost invisible, transparent insects swirl round your head, and in the distance, some unseen birds chirp and flutter.The hut and it's surroundings seem to be inside some sort of transparent energy dome.

Short, green grass extends to the foot of the protective dome. In the middle of this meadow sits a pen. Mountains  border on the dome to the east, and there seems to be a small pond to the west.

A stout, plump lizard sits in the middle of pen, eyeing you warily.

The lizard backs away suddenly, as if scared by your movements, and starts to hiss.
human
Go east
gpt
You are near a pond of yellowish water.

Dead at your feet lies some sort of black creature.

And there it sits, in the middle of the pond - the Jark.
human
You examine Jark
gpt
A jark is a jark is a jark.
human
You examine creature
gpt
The creature is small, shorter than you, and pitch black. It has an oblong head, no ears, tiny black eyes, and sharp, black teeth clearly visible behind a lipless mouth. It has a name tag saying hr. Ah, the guy they told you about at the job center. He's clearly dead, though, and therefore somewhat unhelpful.
human
You look at what you're carrying with you
gpt
You are carrying:
HR
a scrap
a dream diary
a bowl
a Roz pyramid
a bronze key
a toilet roll
a wooden slingshot
human
You look around
gpt
You are near a pond of yellowish water.

And there it sits, in the middle of the pond - the Jark.
human
You take Jark
gpt
You touch the Jark, and die a  jarkingly, horrible death, additionally discgracing your whole field of work.
human
Invert Jark
gpt
You skillfully invert the Jark, rendering it harmless.
human
You put Jark in bowl
gpt
You put the Jark into the bowl.
human
You ask Roz about the cukrovinca flour
gpt
"Oh, it's made from rocks. Not healthy for humans, I've heard. But neither is poison gas, eh?"
human
Sally
gpt
The Roz pyramid brightly says "Teleport activating now!"
You have a moment of vertigo, and suddenly you're elsewhere.

This is a cramped hollow inside some kind of mechanism. Cogwheels poke your ribs as the smell of machine oil assaults your nostrils. A rusty hatch leads out into the fresh air.

And yet, someone must be spending a lot of time in here, because there's a small cot resting on a couple of planks.

On the small cot is a Sally pyramid.
human
Leave
gpt
A quiet albeit windy retreat.

A metal machine, taller than you are, is here with a math book wedged underneath it.
human
Jojo
gpt
The Roz pyramid brightly says "Aye-aye!"
You have a moment of vertigo, and suddenly you're elsewhere.

This hut, wherever it may be, is made of thick glass, distorting the outside to something like a watercolor painting. A foam rubber mattress and a wardrobe seem to be the only bits of furniture. The doorway outside is south.

In the middle of the hut sits an old-fashioned oven. It is connected by loose wires, through a hole in the ceiling, to some sort of dish on top of the hut.

In a corner sits a robot. It looks like an old TV-set with metal tentacles attached. Inside, through a glass window, you can see one of the pyramids.
human
You go to the south
gpt
Short, green grass extends to the foot of the protective dome. In the middle of this meadow sits a pen. Mountains  border on the dome to the east, and there seems to be a small pond to the west.

A stout, plump lizard sits in the middle of pen, eyeing you warily.

The lizard backs away suddenly, as if scared by your movements, and starts to hiss.
human
You look at the lizard
gpt
You see nothing special about the lizard.

The lizard looks at you longingly and starts to hiss.
human
Go west
gpt
Some rocks have fallen from the Mountains outside the dome, building one of those rocky landscapes where climbing children hopefully fall and break their little necks. Stupid brats.

A smaller rock lies a few feet apart from the others.
human
You examine the rock
gpt
It's a rock the size of a fist, powdery, but hard.
human
Go east
gpt
Short, green grass extends to the foot of the protective dome. In the middle of this meadow sits a pen. Mountains  border on the dome to the east, and there seems to be a small pond to the west.

A stout, plump lizard sits in the middle of pen, eyeing you warily.
human
You go south
gpt
You can't go that way.

The lizard snaps at its own tail.
human
Invert lizard
gpt
You can only do that to Jarks!
human
Sally
gpt
The Roz pyramid brightly says "Roger that!"
You have a moment of vertigo, and suddenly you're elsewhere.

This is a cramped hollow inside some kind of mechanism. Cogwheels poke your ribs as the smell of machine oil assaults your nostrils. A rusty hatch leads out into the fresh air.

And yet, someone must be spending a lot of time in here, because there's a small cot resting on a couple of planks.

On the small cot is a Sally pyramid.
human
Go east
gpt
Knowing there's a cushy landing, you leap down into the pit.

This room is mostly occupied by a large pile of shredded paper. There aren't any obvious exits, but the north wall is entirely occupied by the backside of a large machine.
human
You examine the funnel
gpt
It's presumably for spewing paper fragments out of the shredder and into the room.
human
You go north
gpt
You squeeze your way through the hatch and eventually come out the other side.

This is a big open area. Hundreds of beings of all heights, colors, eyestalkitude and tentaclosity are wandering around, visiting little booths, and waving bits of paper, but mostly they're standing in line.

The room (and the crowd) stretches out in all directions except south, where the whole wall is taken up by the giant shredder. Nearby you notice a small, unstaffed booth.

"Only four years?" a green chimpanzee says to a blue chimpanzee. "They'll never take anyone with that little."
human
You put the rock in Shredder
gpt
You squeeze the rock into one of the tubes, ignoring the looks from the surrounding beings. The shredder makes some horrible gnashing noises, but  you think you heair a faint sputtering from the Shredder room.
human
You go south
gpt
You squeeze your way through the hatch and eventually come out the other side.

This room is mostly occupied by a large pile of shredded paper. There aren't any obvious exits, but the north wall is entirely occupied by the backside of a large machine.

A neat heap of Cukrovinca flour is on top of the other heap.
human
You take the flour
gpt
You easily scoop it into your hand.

Taken.
human
You put the flour in the bowl
gpt
You put Cukrovinca flour into the bowl.
human
You check what you're carrying
gpt
You are carrying:
HR
a scrap
a dream diary
a bowl
Cukrovinca flour
a Jark
a Roz pyramid
a bronze key
a toilet roll
a wooden slingshot
human
Go north
gpt
You squeeze your way through the hatch and eventually come out the other side.

This is a big open area. Hundreds of beings of all heights, colors, eyestalkitude and tentaclosity are wandering around, visiting little booths, and waving bits of paper, but mostly they're standing in line.

The room (and the crowd) stretches out in all directions except south, where the whole wall is taken up by the giant shredder. Nearby you notice a small, unstaffed booth.

"No, no, that won't do at all," says an interviewer at one of the booths to a gelatinous blob. "I'm afraid chuffling certification is an absolute requirement for any job here." The blob jiggles unhappily and oozes away. The interviewer shrugs and shoves the blob's resume into a nearby tube, where it's immediately sucked out of sight.
human
You get in the line
gpt
You get into the line, and wait. And wait, and wait. Eventually you reach the front, where you are scrutinized by a sort of mutant crab-zebra thing. "WHERE'S YOUR RESUME?" it roars. "GET OUT OF HERE!" To the accompaniment of menacing pincer snaps and glares from the other interviewees, you slink out of the line.
human
You examine the HR
gpt
The creature is small, shorter than you, and pitch black. It has an oblong head, no ears, tiny black eyes, and sharp, black teeth clearly visible behind a lipless mouth. It has a name tag saying hr. Ah, the guy they told you about at the job center. He's clearly dead, though, and therefore somewhat unhelpful.

Two aliens get into an argument over who was next in line. The debate is resolved when the smaller one unhinges its jaw surprisingly far and eats the other.
human
Jojo
gpt
The Roz pyramid brightly says "Gotcha, boss!"
You have a moment of vertigo, and suddenly you're elsewhere.

This hut, wherever it may be, is made of thick glass, distorting the outside to something like a watercolor painting. A foam rubber mattress and a wardrobe seem to be the only bits of furniture. The doorway outside is south.

In the middle of the hut sits an old-fashioned oven. It is connected by loose wires, through a hole in the ceiling, to some sort of dish on top of the hut.

In a corner sits a robot. It looks like an old TV-set with metal tentacles attached. Inside, through a glass window, you can see one of the pyramids.
human
You ask Roz about the HR
gpt
Famous Jark inverter. Helped some dude escape somewhere.
human
You ask Roz about the lizard
gpt
"Stop talking and do something interesting!"
human
Go north
gpt
This hut, wherever it may be, is made of thick glass, distorting the outside to something like a watercolor painting. A foam rubber mattress and a wardrobe seem to be the only bits of furniture. The doorway outside is south.

In the middle of the hut sits an old-fashioned oven. It is connected by loose wires, through a hole in the ceiling, to some sort of dish on top of the hut.

In a corner sits a robot. It looks like an old TV-set with metal tentacles attached. Inside, through a glass window, you can see one of the pyramids.
human
You examine Jojo
gpt
(the robot)
You see nothing special about the robot.
human
You look at the pyramid
gpt
(the Roz pyramid)
It's a pyramid-shaped piece of metal which, surprisingly, can talk. For instance, right now it says "Quit starin' at me and get on with things!"
human
Go south
gpt
Short, green grass extends to the foot of the protective dome. In the middle of this meadow sits a pen. Mountains  border on the dome to the east, and there seems to be a small pond to the west.

A stout, plump lizard sits in the middle of pen, eyeing you warily.
human
You hit the lizard
gpt
You try a little shadow boxing in the direction of the lizard.
human
You kill the lizard
gpt
You try a little shadow boxing in the direction of the lizard.

The lizard snaps at its own tail.
human
You check what you're carrying
gpt
You are carrying:
HR
a scrap
a dream diary
a bowl
Cukrovinca flour
a Jark
a Roz pyramid
a bronze key
a toilet roll
a wooden slingshot
human
You throw Roz at the lizard
gpt
You lack the nerve when it comes to the crucial moment.
human
Invert lizard
gpt
You can only do that to Jarks!

The lizard blinks.
human
You drop the HR
gpt
Dropped.
human
Sally
gpt
The Roz pyramid brightly says "Aye-aye!"
You have a moment of vertigo, and suddenly you're elsewhere.

This is a cramped hollow inside some kind of mechanism. Cogwheels poke your ribs as the smell of machine oil assaults your nostrils. A rusty hatch leads out into the fresh air.

And yet, someone must be spending a lot of time in here, because there's a small cot resting on a couple of planks.

On the small cot is a Sally pyramid.
human
Smell
gpt
It smells nasty in here. The sooner you get back out into the fresh air, the happier you'll be.
human
You move the planks
gpt
Those are fixed in place.
human
You take the book
gpt
As you move the book, the metal machine rocks scarily. You instantly desist.
human
You jump
gpt
Not after four p.m., no way. This is the time where you can act dignified again.
human
Go west
gpt
Really, this was just a glorified hallway. You used to like places like this. Tiles and cinderblocks. No-nonsense, nothing gaudy. They do just what they promise: take you from room to room without asserting themselves. But something's gone terrible wrong. The whole floor is lousy with confetti, thick as snow and almost painful to look at. The door is ajar, swinging a bit in the breeze.
human
You go to the north
gpt
Every last inch of wall space here, save for the window, is plastered with needless decor: nature caricatures, inspirational glurge, posters with cartoon letters and plus signs. The floor's no better; the brats didn't pick up when Miss Lauren told them to pick up and now it's cluttered with gaudy plastic. The books are tossed into the carpet square pile and someone's dripped tempera paint onto every table. And there's more, it seems, every second. Leaves and dirt by the doorway. Shredded paper that's not in the waste bin.
human
You take all
gpt
small metal pyramid: Taken.
Cukrovinca flour: You easily scoop it into your hand.

Taken.
Jark: Taken.
leaves: Not without your gloves, and you're not sure where you left those. Of course.
paper: That's hardly portable.
books: You dig through the pile a bit, but it just collapses in on itself. Ugh.
tables: They're hardly portable.
window: That's hardly portable.
posters: You'd love to. It'd be nice to see the walls look crisp again. But yo u're forbidden to, and close enough to being fired as it is.
toys: You pick up a toy and stack it in the bin, but by the time you get back to the pile there just seem to be more. What fool decided to make toys reproduce?
bin: You're not really in good enough standing with Miss Lauren to try replacing it again.
human
You take the confetti
gpt
There's too much of it.
human
You search it
gpt
You sift through the confetti, but find nothing but more of it. What were you hoping for? Gold?
human
Sally
gpt
The Roz pyramid brightly says "Roger that!"
You have a moment of vertigo, and suddenly you're elsewhere.

This is a cramped hollow inside some kind of mechanism. Cogwheels poke your ribs as the smell of machine oil assaults your nostrils. A rusty hatch leads out into the fresh air.

You can see a small cot (on which is a Sally pyramid) here.
human
You ask Roz about the cookie
gpt
"As I said, Jojo went a little flaky in exile."
human
You ask Roz about Jojo
gpt
"Jojo, she left us. Wanted a solitary life, on one of those empty backwater planets. Guess you could visit her, if you need a vacation. I think I should've mentioned her oath of silence. Sorry."
human
You ask Roz about the razor blades
gpt
"Those things are so useful!"
human
You ask Roz about about the confetti
gpt
"Confetti is so pretty. I like all the colors mixed together."
human
You ask Roz about the marbles
gpt
"You're a wicked shot with those things! I'll have to tell Leon to get us some more."
human
Hiss
gpt
You hiss. The lizard suddenly gives you bedroom eyes and lays an egg.
human
You take the egg
gpt
Taken.

The lizard backs away suddenly, as if scared by your movements, and starts to hiss.
human
You put the egg in the bowl
gpt
You insert the last ingredient and shake the bowl a bit. Wow, thanks to the astonishing qualities of the jark, you now have some delicious dough.
human
You look at the dough
gpt
It's some dough, greenish in color.
human
Go north
gpt
This hut, wherever it may be, is made of thick glass, distorting the outside to something like a watercolor painting. A foam rubber mattress and a wardrobe seem to be the only bits of furniture. The doorway outside is south.

In the middle of the hut sits an old-fashioned oven. It is connected by loose wires, through a hole in the ceiling, to some sort of dish on top of the hut.

In a corner sits a robot. It looks like an old TV-set with metal tentacles attached. Inside, through a glass window, you can see one of the pyramids.
human
You put the bowl in the oven
gpt
The oven is closed.
human
You open oven
gpt
You open the oven.
human
You put the bowl in the oven
gpt
You put the bowl into the oven.
human
You close the oven
gpt
You close the oven.
human
You examine the oven
gpt
It is old, spotted with rust, but surprisingly clean. It has a single button. In it you see a bowl.
human
You open the oven
gpt
You open the oven, revealing a bowl.
human
You look in the bowl
gpt
In the bowl is a cookie.
human
You examine the cookie
gpt
Hm, it looks delicious beyond words. So there you go then.
human
You give the cookie to Jojo
gpt
(the robot)
(first taking the cookie)
One of the tentacles graps the cookie eagerly. Something inside the machines starts to rattle and click, and then an unseen opening spits out more green continous paper. It reads
THANKS - NOW CAN FEED LIZARD - DUCK.
As you try to bring the image of the lizard together with a duck, the wardrobe behind you squeaks and something hits you quit hard in the back of the head.
"Tarquin!" shouts Roz in your hand.
human
You examine the wardrobe
gpt
It's a blue, wooden wardrobe. It looks too small to store all of the stuff one may need, but maybe it's bigger on the inside.
human
You look around
gpt
This hut, wherever it may be, is made of thick glass, distorting the outside to something like a watercolor painting. A foam rubber mattress and a wardrobe seem to be the only bits of furniture. The doorway outside is south.

In the middle of the hut sits an old-fashioned oven. It is connected by loose wires, through a hole in the ceiling, to some sort of dish on top of the hut.

In a corner sits a robot. It looks like an old TV-set with metal tentacles attached. Inside, through a glass window, you can see one of the pyramids.

You can also see a small metal pyramid here.
human
You examine the metal pyramid
gpt
(the small metal pyramid)
You see nothing special about the small metal pyramid.
human
You take it
gpt
Taken.

Suddenly a swirl of energy engulfs you, and an HR-tinged voice beckons your very being.

Bare white painted walls make up three sides of this room. The fourth, which happens to be the northern wall, is taken up by a large pair of glass doors.

You can see a large pair of glass doors here.
human
Author
gpt
Scene 6, "Bureaucracy", was written by Mark J. Musante.
human
You ask Roz about Tarquin
gpt
"Good old Tarquin.He's the smart one. Well, not as smart as me. Anyway,  he tried to investigate the machine, but I can't reach him anymore."
human
You examine the doors
gpt
Although they're glass, they're frosted over so you can't see through them. There is a giant letter H on the left door, and a giant letter R on the right.
human
You check your inventory
gpt
You are carrying:
a bowl
HR
a scrap
a dream diary
a Roz pyramid
a bronze key
a toilet roll
a wooden slingshot
human
You open the doors
gpt
You open the large pair of glass doors.
human
Go north
gpt
This is the nerve center of the Human Resources operation. The room's vastness is matched only by the amount of noise being generated. People are walking everywhere and you're constantly ducking and weaving to avoid being bumped into. You think you can see a disused cubicle off to the northeast.

You can see a large pair of glass doors here.
human
Go northeast
gpt
This cubicle has seen better days, but at least it's out of the way of all the madness outside. A desk and a couple of chairs are here.

You can see an office chair (empty) here.
human
You look at the desk
gpt
A large green metal desk. There's nothing on it.
human
You sit on the chair
gpt
You get into the office chair.
human
You put HR on the desk
gpt
You put HR on the desk.
human
You check what you're carrying
gpt
You are carrying:
HR
a bowl
a scrap
a dream diary
a Roz pyramid
a bronze key
a toilet roll
a wooden slingshot
human
Go southwest
gpt
HR Central (in the office chair)
This is the nerve center of the Human Resources operation. The room's vastness is matched only by the amount of noise being generated. People are walking everywhere and you're constantly ducking and weaving to avoid being bumped into. You think you can see a disused cubicle off to the northeast.

You can see a large pair of glass doors here.
human
Go north
gpt
You push off into the throng of passers-by, and skilfully guide your new hot-rod through the vast HR cubicle maze. Or, y'know, maybe the workers here are just avoiding the maniac on the chair. Eventually you make a wrong turn and the wheels catch on the threshold of an office doorway. The chair tips over and you're dumped onto the floor.

As you slowly get up, you hear the door swing shut behind you.

Unlike the cubicles outside, this office has a real door and a real window. The noise of the HR worker bees outside is almost completely shut out. You look around in wonder, and see a desk, a chair, some paintings on the wall, and a fake potted plant.

Before you can react, a question is shot at you like an arrow that's, um, question-mark shaped.

"Who the hell are you?" asks the questioner in a booming voice.

You spin around to see a large and imposing man turn towards you, a sweaty hand clicking the door carefully shut. You stammer out an introduction and the man relaxes (just a little).

"Ah," he says. "I am Mr Hokensox. Your resume was sent along by one of our lobster-horses."

"Oh, I thought it was a crab-zebra," you venture.

"Ah, no, although they do like to get stripe tattoos, don't they?
Have a seat and we'll get your forms sorted and set up your orientation schedule."

You can also see a small wooden chair here.
human
You sit on the chair
gpt
(the small wooden chair)
You sit uncomfortably down in the wooden chair and look up at Mr. Hokensox.

He peers more at the papers in his hand and says, "I see that you
used to be a teacher. You should fit in quite well here. We have numerous people who act like kids. Ha ha."

You smile weakly, thinking that you have landed somwhere very much like where you left.

"Hmm... Okay, please have these forms filled out by your orientation, which starts in one hour."

Mr. Hockensox hands you forms XY11, UT18 and TB06.
"Now," says Mr Hokensox, "let me show you to your new workplace."

Mr Hokensox puffs around the desk and unlocks the door. He leads you out into the main office again, and then through a maze of cubicles. You try to concentrate on the path you take, but soon you're hopelessly lost. He stops abruptly in front of a cubicle that looks like every other one. "Here you are, cubicle number 78-33183. I'll leave you to get settled in and fill out those forms. If you have any questions, don't hesitate to ask."

Before you can draw in a breath, Mr Hokensox turns and leaves with such a speed that defies his size, leaving you alone clutching your forms.

Four grey walls. At least the school had some more color than this. They haven't even had time to put a desk in here yet, nor a chair.
The corridor leads out to the southeast.
human
You look at the xy11
gpt
It's a blank sheet of paper with XY11 at the top scribbled in crayon.
human
You look at the ut18
gpt
It's a blank sheet of paper with UT18 at the top scribbled in magic marker.
human
Examine tb06
gpt
It's a blank sheet of paper with TB06 at the top scribbled in finger paint.
human
You ask Roz about forms
gpt
"That's boring."
human
You go southeast
gpt
There is nothing but cubicles as far as you can see to the north and southwest. Your cubicle lies to the northwest.
human
Go north
gpt
You head north through the maze and find yourself at a wall, which you follow. A little farther down the wall, you find an opening, which you duck into.

As you take in the filth and splendor that is the break room, you hear from behind you, "Oh hi! You must be the new person!"

You spin around to see someone (something?) walking toward you. It's hard to tell behind the pile of papers this person is carrying.

"I'm Ferd. I've been assigned as your orientation guide!"
human
You examine Ferd
gpt
Almost as wide as he is tall, Ferd looks at you with a very wide grin that seems to take up most of his face. It's hard to see the rest of him because of the pile of paper he's carrying.
human
You ask Ferd about ut18
gpt
There is no reply.

Ferd suddenly belches in an uncomfortable-looking way, then taps his chest (or so you assume, behind the pile of papers). "Guess my ticker's acting up again," he says.
human
You ask Ferd about Ferd
gpt
There is no reply.

"I hope it doesn't explode again," Ferd says. "Destroyed most of the planet I was on. They had to clean up for years!"
"Oh no!" Roz says. "This is a job for George!"
human
You ask Roz about George
gpt
"Sorry, what? I was thinking about what I'm going to do for my next game."
human
George
gpt
The Roz pyramid says "Here goes nothin'!" You have a moment of vertigo.
An enormous metal pyramid suddenly appears in mid-air and falls on Ferd, squashing him flat. There is a muffled explosion but it barely takes out any walls and, at least in some sense,