system
You are the dungeon master of a text adventure game. The game should involve the following genres and tags:
Humor, SpeedIF December 2008,walkthrough
gpt
Dear Blogreaders,
yesterday was even stranger than last year's New Year's Eve! Paul invited me again, even though the police have been bothering him about this disappeared German and his parents were quite angry about the golf cart in his pool. I hadn't seem him in some weeks, so I was quite nervous when I knocked. He rushed towards me, smiled and hugged me. Little did I know that this would turn into...

The Day I mauled Mao!

Paul, his brown hair in cute little Rastas, lets go of you and looks you up and down. "You look great. You know, we should dance. But I need a little help first." You sigh. He shakes his head quite seriously. "No, nothing like last year - please. I have a table with champagne outside. Well, you heard of the Thompson's Gazelles which have escaped the zoo a few days ago? One of them is out there now, sipping all the Crystal! You need to get the foul beast away from my beverages." He looks down. "But please don't hurt the graceful creature." He pats you on the back and is gone."

A small hallway, brightly lit by a row of neon lights. Dark wooden stairs lead upwards, and a doorframe opens west into the Living Room. A small door under the stairs lead into a storage closet. (Referred to by Paul only as "The Potter Room".)
Your steps don't make any sound on the the thick, red carpet.

You can see a chest of drawers (closed) here.
human
You examine the drawers
gpt
A chest of drawers, some cheap, flashy IKEA thing.
human
You open it
gpt
You open the chest of drawers, revealing a sticker.
human
You examine the sticker
gpt
A small, rectangular sticker, reading: "HAUL-ALL AIR MAIL. Just slap this sticker on anything in the Outdoors you want to have delivered, and we will use our perfectly legal and ethical GPS locator and grab it before you know it." Looks like Paul postponed sending the Christmas present for his hated Uncle Wally again, because his address is already on the sticker.
human
You get it
gpt
Taken.
human
About yourself
gpt
As good-looking as ever.
human
Inventory
gpt
You are carrying:
a sticker
human
You open the small door
gpt
You open the small door and cram yourself into the Potter room.

Shelves are nailed to the leaning wall. On them, some useless tools gather dust.

There is a Sugar glider nuclear shelter here.

A big box of fire works for later.
human
You look at the shelter
gpt
A nuclear shelter for Pauls mum's pet sugar glider. You might call her overprotective and stupid. She was, towards Paul, including that classic line: "Have you tried not being gay?"
human
You look at the tools
gpt
Every shelf carries its own heap of rusty, quite useless tools.
human
Open shelter
gpt
You open the Nuclear shelter.
human
You look in it
gpt
The Nuclear shelter is empty.
human
Leave
gpt
You can see a chest of drawers (empty) here.
human
You go to the west
gpt
Before the party people invaded it, this was a spacious, cozy room, which one of those big, expensive TV's. Now, you have to wade through thick smoke to escape either eastwards to the hallway or to the Kitchen and the Pool beyond to the South.

Some people sit on the two comfortable couches, sharing joints and talking about the greatly anticipated "Bedtime story."

Between the two couches is a huge heap of purses and backpacks.
human
You look at the purses
gpt
Most people arrived directly from last-minute College courses and brought their stuff with them.
human
You ask the people about the tom waits
gpt
You have to save this party before you can participate in the idle chat.
human
Examine tv
gpt
It's one of those big, plasma things. Pauls parents bought it in Paris, and they had some trouble getting it connected. It's currently switched off, because some joker hid the remote.
human
You turn tv on
gpt
Not possible without the remote.
human
You go south
gpt
The main feature of this room is the impressive glass door, which leads south, to the pool. All benches and counters are weighted down with random food stuff, brought by the party goers. Of course, there are more people here than in the living room.

People stand around, glasses or plates in hand, happily munching and talking.

On the counter next to the sink sits Paul's laptop. It's plugged in, but also has the battery in it. That's just wasteful on the batteries life span. Wires connect it to some small speakers, providing music. Right now, it's playing:"Ode to Joy" from Beethoven's 9th".
human
You get the battery
gpt
Taken.
human
Go south
gpt
Pauls Parents are rather fond of this small pool. It's surrounded by some deck-chairs. The eastern and western garden walls are overgrown with undergrowth, so as to hide the family members going for a seamelss tan. This wasn't necessary for the southern wall, wich is quite high, because it borders on a Golf course (Pauls told you they find the occasional golf ball in the pool nonetheless.)

A long paste table is standing here. A white table-cloth has been draped over it, to give it some glamour. The result, contrary to IF conventions, is quite good. Champagne glasses are arranged on it in neat rows.

On the table is a glass of champagne.

A Thomson's gazelle is standing here, swaying a bit, gently licking Champagne from the long glasses.

A small flock of people is lying around in the deck-chairs, most of them still dressed, waving drinks and mumbling to each other in the afternoon glow.They shot occasional glances at the gazelle, but weirder things happen at parties in this part of town.
human
You put the sticker on gazelle
gpt
Carefully approaching the gazelle, you gently slap the sticker on its black stripe.
You take a step back, hit "z" a few times, and soon hear the sound of a helicopter approaching. It hovers over the party, blowing drinks off the table and leaves into the pool. It then lowers a metallic claw and gently grasps the gazelle, who is to drunk to be scared. She shakes her heard and lookes down at you with those dull eyes, then she is heaved away and out of sight.
human
Look around
gpt
Pauls Parents are rather fond of this small pool. It's surrounded by some deck-chairs. The eastern and western garden walls are overgrown with undergrowth, so as to hide the family members going for a seamelss tan. This wasn't necessary for the southern wall, wich is quite high, because it borders on a Golf course (Pauls told you they find the occasional golf ball in the pool nonetheless.)

A long paste table is standing here. A white table-cloth has been draped over it, to give it some glamour. The result, contrary to IF conventions, is quite good. Champagne glasses are arranged on it in neat rows.

On the table is a glass of champagne.

A small flock of people is lying around in the deck-chairs, most of them still dressed, waving drinks and mumbling to each other in the afternoon glow.
human
You examine Pool
gpt
A small, pool, lacking a ladder of similiar equipment. It's just a huge body of water, trapped by greenish, ugly tiles.

The shoulder-bag is   drifting around in the swimming pool.

Paul appears by your side. "Hey, thanks for the help! Now we can enjoy the party. I think I can even tolerate Mihanda."
You free yourself from his hug.
"Who?"
"He is a Sri Lankan exchange student. I've met him some days ago and thought it would be funny to invite him. And tell him it's Halloween." He shrugs and smiles that cute little smile, and you find yourself unable to be angry with him.
"So, he's come as Mao and walks around the living room and shouts about the revolution. He even claims he has a bomb! Would you...?"
You sigh.
Paul says, "Thanks. See you later." And he's off.
You start to wonder where he's hiding all the time.
human
You check what you're carrying
gpt
You are carrying:
a battery
human
You drop the battery
gpt
Dropped.
human
Swim
gpt
You test the water and it's friggin" far too hot to swim.
human
Look around
gpt
Pauls Parents are rather fond of this small pool. It's surrounded by some deck-chairs. The eastern and western garden walls are overgrown with undergrowth, so as to hide the family members going for a seamelss tan. This wasn't necessary for the southern wall, wich is quite high, because it borders on a Golf course (Pauls told you they find the occasional golf ball in the pool nonetheless.)

A long paste table is standing here. A white table-cloth has been draped over it, to give it some glamour. The result, contrary to IF conventions, is quite good. Champagne glasses are arranged on it in neat rows.

On the table is a glass of champagne.

A small flock of people is lying around in the deck-chairs, most of them still dressed, waving drinks and mumbling to each other in the afternoon glow.

You can also see a battery here.
human
You get the Champagne
gpt
No! As a daring adventure person, you know you have to keep your wits about you for the fiendish puzzles that lie ahead. (And the champagne is not a vital item in one of them.)
human
You take the battery
gpt
Taken.
human
You look at the battery
gpt
It's a fully powered laptop battery.
human
You examine the undergrowth
gpt
Thick undergrowth. You think you glimpse something, though.
human
You search it
gpt
There is a switch in there somewhere. You fight your way through the underbrush, but all you discovered is an old chainsaw.
human
You get the chainsaw
gpt
You already have that.
human
You look at it
gpt
It's not the cool kind of big and loud and smoky chainsaw, but a safer, small one, for gardening purposes. Powered with electricity. It has an unusual plug, one you've never seen before. European, perhaps.Of course, the little "CHARGE" light is completly dark.
human
You examine the plug
gpt
It's an unusal plug, which won't fit any sockets. (So, it wouldn't make sense to painfully have them implemented in every room.)
human
You look at the wall
gpt
Quite high. But climbable.
human
You go to the north
gpt
The main feature of this room is the impressive glass door, which leads south, to the pool. All benches and counters are weighted down with random food stuff, brought by the party goers. Of course, there are more people here than in the living room.

People stand around, glasses or plates in hand, happily munching and talking.

On the counter next to the sink sits Paul's laptop. It's plugged in.Wires connect it to some small speakers, providing music.
Right now, it's playing:"On the edge of a cliff" by The Streets.
human
You go to the north
gpt
Before the party people invaded it, this was a spacious, cozy room, which one of those big, expensive TV's. Now, you have to wade through thick smoke to escape either eastwards to the hallway or to the Kitchen and the Pool beyond to the South.

Some people sit on the two comfortable couches, sharing joints and talking about Textfyre.

Between the two couches is a huge heap of purses and backpacks.

You can also see Mao here.
human
You examine Mao
gpt
This guy makes an unconvincing Mao. And an unconvincing threat, for that matter. He is wearing something that vaguely resembles an Anime-junkies idea of a Mao suit. He is waving an obviously fake bomb around.
human
You examine the bomb
gpt
Oh wait. That's isn't a dud. It's the real thing! A bomb!! You're all doomed!!! You have to do something !!1! Quick !!1!!
human
You ask Mao for the bomb
gpt
"Hey, how come nobody is the least bit worried about the bomb?"
"People don't see what they can't believe is there."
human
You ask Mao about the bomb
gpt
"Uhm, can't we all just get along?"
"No, I will bomb you capitalists to hell!"

(Actually, don't sweat it. You can't die in this game.)
human
You take bomb
gpt
You don't dare go for the bomb. What if he activates it? You're changes of getting laid will decrease radically once you're blown to bits.

(Well, you can, but it's an easter egg.)
human
You take the bomb
gpt
You don't dare go for the bomb. What if he activates it? You're changes of getting laid will decrease radically once you're blown to bits.
human
Kiss mao
gpt
Keep your mind on the game.
human
You get Mao laid
gpt
(lacerating would be more appropriate)
The chainsaw isn't running.

I only understood you as far as wanting to get Mao.
human
You go to the east
gpt
A small hallway, brightly lit by a row of neon lights. Dark wooden stairs lead upwards, and a doorframe opens west into the Living Room. A small door under the stairs lead into a storage closet. (Referred to by Paul only as "The Potter Room".)
Your steps don't make any sound on the the thick, red carpet.

You can see a chest of drawers (empty) here.
human
Go upward
gpt
Paul has forbidden any entrance for either you or anyone else to the rest of the House for the night. Aside from a a seductive "Maybe later, when we're alone", that is.
human
You go west
gpt
Before the party people invaded it, this was a spacious, cozy room, which one of those big, expensive TV's. Now, you have to wade through thick smoke to escape either eastwards to the hallway or to the Kitchen and the Pool beyond to the South.

Some people sit on the two comfortable couches, sharing joints and talking about how some singers suck, even though their songs are great.

Between the two couches is a huge heap of purses and backpacks.

You can also see Mao here.
human
You go to the south
gpt
The main feature of this room is the impressive glass door, which leads south, to the pool. All benches and counters are weighted down with random food stuff, brought by the party goers. Of course, there are more people here than in the living room.

People stand around, glasses or plates in hand, happily munching and talking.

On the counter next to the sink sits Paul's laptop. It's plugged in.Wires connect it to some small speakers, providing music.
Right now, it's playing:""Sober" by P!nk.
human
You drop all
gpt
chainsaw: Dropped.
battery: Dropped.
human
You climb wall
gpt
You manage to scramble over the wall.

You are at the foot of a small, sloping hill, the lawn neatly cut. You can go eastwards, uphill. The wall of Pauls garden is here.
human
You look at the wall
gpt
Quite high. But climbable.
human
Go east
gpt
You are on top of one of the innumberable hills of the golf course. You can see the whole golf course around you, which is boring as hell. The only interesting part seems to be one of the entrance gates to the North-East.

You can see a golf cart (empty) here.
human
You examine the cart
gpt
The golf cart is empty.
human
You go to the northeast
gpt
A metal gate bares the way out to a lovely country lane.

You can see a plank here.
human
You examine the plank
gpt
A wooden plank.
human
You open gate
gpt
It seems to be locked.
human
Look around
gpt
A metal gate bares the way out to a lovely country lane.
human
You go to the south-west
gpt
You are on top of one of the innumberable hills of the golf course. You can see the whole golf course around you, which is boring as hell. The only interesting part seems to be one of the entrance gates to the North-East.

You can see a golf cart (empty) here.
human
You get in the cart
gpt
You get into the golf cart.
human
Go outside
gpt
You get out of the golf cart.

You are on top of one of the innumberable hills of the golf course. You can see the whole golf course around you, which is boring as hell. The only interesting part seems to be one of the entrance gates to the North-East.

You can see a golf cart (empty) here.
human
You go to the west
gpt
You are at the foot of a small, sloping hill, the lawn neatly cut. You can go eastwards, uphill. The wall of Pauls garden is here.
human
You drop the plank
gpt
Prodding up the plank, you build a make-shift ramp...again.
human
Look around
gpt
You are at the foot of a small, sloping hill, the lawn neatly cut. You can go eastwards, uphill. The wall of Pauls garden is here.

The plank is prodded against the wall, a make-shift ramp.
human
You enter the cart
gpt
You get into the golf cart.
human
You go to the west
gpt
You could jump the golf cart into the pool, and it would be fun, but no. No. Paul would not be amused."
human
Look around
gpt
Hilltop (in the golf cart)
You are on top of one of the innumberable hills of the golf course. You can see the whole golf course around you, which is boring as hell. The only interesting part seems to be one of the entrance gates to the North-East.
human
Go northeast
gpt
Entrance Gate (in the golf cart)
A metal gate bares the way out to a lovely country lane.
human
You open Gate
gpt
It seems to be locked.
human
You go outside
gpt
You get out of the golf cart.
human
Go outside
gpt
A metal gate bares the way out to a lovely country lane.

You can see a golf cart (empty) here.

But you aren't in anything at the moment.
human
Go southwest
gpt
You are on top of one of the innumberable hills of the golf course. You can see the whole golf course around you, which is boring as hell. The only interesting part seems to be one of the entrance gates to the North-East.
human
You go west
gpt
You are at the foot of a small, sloping hill, the lawn neatly cut. You can go eastwards, uphill. The wall of Pauls garden is here.

The plank is prodded against the wall, a make-shift ramp.
human
You check what you're carrying
gpt
You are carrying:
a plank
human
You climb the wall
gpt
You manage to scramble over the wall.

Pauls Parents are rather fond of this small pool. It's surrounded by some deck-chairs. The eastern and western garden walls are overgrown with undergrowth, so as to hide the family members going for a seamelss tan. This wasn't necessary for the southern wall, wich is quite high, because it borders on a Golf course (Pauls told you they find the occasional golf ball in the pool nonetheless.)

A long paste table is standing here. A white table-cloth has been draped over it, to give it some glamour. The result, contrary to IF conventions, is quite good. Champagne glasses are arranged on it in neat rows.

On the table is a glass of champagne.

A small flock of people is lying around in the deck-chairs, most of them still dressed, waving drinks and mumbling to each other in the afternoon glow.

You can also see a battery and a chainsaw here.
human
You take the chainsaw
gpt
Taken.
human
Go north
gpt
The main feature of this room is the impressive glass door, which leads south, to the pool. All benches and counters are weighted down with random food stuff, brought by the party goers. Of course, there are more people here than in the living room.

People stand around, glasses or plates in hand, happily munching and talking.

On the counter next to the sink sits Paul's laptop. It's plugged in.Wires connect it to some small speakers, providing music.
Right now, it's playing:"All the she wants" by Ace of Base.
human
You look at the wires
gpt
That can't contain things.

You can't see any such thing.
human
You examine the plug
gpt
It's an unusal plug, which won't fit any sockets. (So, it wouldn't make sense to painfully have them implemented in every room.)
human
You examine the counter
gpt
They are weighted down with the buffet.
human
You look around
gpt
The main feature of this room is the impressive glass door, which leads south, to the pool. All benches and counters are weighted down with random food stuff, brought by the party goers. Of course, there are more people here than in the living room.

People stand around, glasses or plates in hand, happily munching and talking.

On the counter next to the sink sits Paul's laptop. It's plugged in.Wires connect it to some small speakers, providing music.
Right now, it's playing:"Cheeseshop" by David Welbourn".
human
You examine the speakers
gpt
Small...speakers. Connected ...to the ... laptop.
human
You eat the food
gpt
(first taking Food)
NOM! NOM! NOM! (There is still much food left.).
human
Inventory
gpt
You are carrying:
a battery
a chainsaw
human
You get all
gpt
Partygoers: I don't suppose Partygoers would care for that.
laptop: Removing the music won't improve the party.
benches: That's hardly portable.
Food: NOM! NOM! NOM! (There is still much food left.).
speakers: And neither will removing just the speakers, thank you very much.
human
You examine Pool
gpt
A small, pool, lacking a ladder of similiar equipment. It's just a huge body of water, trapped by greenish, ugly tiles.

The shoulder-bag is   drifting around in the swimming pool.
human
You take all
gpt
table: That's fixed in place.
The lazy people: I don't suppose The lazy people would care for that. champagne: No! As a daring adventure person, you know you have to keep your wits about you for the fiendish puzzles that lie ahead. (And the champagne is not a vital item in one of them.)
undergrowth: That's hardly portable.
wall: That's hardly portable.
pool.: That's hardly portable.
human
Search table
gpt
On the table is a glass of champagne.
human
You examine Champagne
gpt
Some glasses of Champagne.
human
You examine the people
gpt
They're just people.
human
Go north
gpt
The main feature of this room is the impressive glass door, which leads south, to the pool. All benches and counters are weighted down with random food stuff, brought by the party goers. Of course, there are more people here than in the living room.

People stand around, glasses or plates in hand, happily munching and talking.

On the counter next to the sink sits Paul's laptop. It's plugged in.Wires connect it to some small speakers, providing music.
Right now, it's playing:""Sober" by P!nk.
human
Go north
gpt
Before the party people invaded it, this was a spacious, cozy room, which one of those big, expensive TV's. Now, you have to wade through thick smoke to escape either eastwards to the hallway or to the Kitchen and the Pool beyond to the South.

Some people sit on the two comfortable couches, sharing joints and talking about how you really shouldn't code late at night, because there comes a point where you can't think of anything funny anymore.

Between the two couches is a huge heap of purses and backpacks.

You can also see Mao here.
human
You ask Mao about the revolution
gpt
"Can we talk about this?"
"Nope."
human
You look at the backpacks
gpt
Most people arrived directly from last-minute College courses and brought their stuff with them.
human
You examine the couches
gpt
The fake leather couches look quite comfortable.
human
Describe the surroundings
gpt
Before the party people invaded it, this was a spacious, cozy room, which one of those big, expensive TV's. Now, you have to wade through thick smoke to escape either eastwards to the hallway or to the Kitchen and the Pool beyond to the South.

Some people sit on the two comfortable couches, sharing joints and talking about the upcoming Citizen Kane prequels.

Between the two couches is a huge heap of purses and backpacks.

You can also see Mao here.
human
You examine Mao
gpt
This guy makes an unconvincing Mao. And an unconvincing threat, for that matter. He is wearing something that vaguely resembles an Anime-junkies idea of a Mao suit. He is waving an obviously fake bomb around.
human
You examine the bomb
gpt
Oh wait. That's isn't a dud. It's the real thing! A bomb!! You're all doomed!!! You have to do something !!1! Quick !!1!!
human
You follow you
gpt
"All these people are innocent!"
"What, I have to kill a bunch of virgins?"
human
You tell Mao about Pool
gpt
"Hey, Mao was Chinese!"
"Whatever, there are cats that look like Hitler!"
human
You ask Mao about the bomb
gpt
"Can we talk about this?"
"Nope."
human
You move the purses
gpt
It is fixed in place.
human
You get purses
gpt
That's fixed in place.
human
Sing
gpt
Your singing is abominable.
human
Look around
gpt
Before the party people invaded it, this was a spacious, cozy room, which one of those big, expensive TV's. Now, you have to wade through thick smoke to escape either eastwards to the hallway or to the Kitchen and the Pool beyond to the South.

Some people sit on the two comfortable couches, sharing joints and talking about the greatly anticipated "Bedtime story."

Between the two couches is a huge heap of purses and backpacks.

You can also see Mao here.
human
You go to the east
gpt
A small hallway, brightly lit by a row of neon lights. Dark wooden stairs lead upwards, and a doorframe opens west into the Living Room. A small door under the stairs lead into a storage closet. (Referred to by Paul only as "The Potter Room".)
Your steps don't make any sound on the the thick, red carpet.

You can see a chest of drawers (empty) here.
human
You examine the carpet
gpt
It's thick and red.
human
You jump
gpt
You jump on the spot, fruitlessly.
human
Go upward
gpt
Paul has forbidden any entrance for either you or anyone else to the rest of the House for the night. Aside from a a seductive "Maybe later, when we're alone", that is.
human
You get the carpet
gpt
That's hardly portable.
human
You look at the door
gpt
Which do you mean, the small door or the front door?
human
You examine the small door
gpt
A small door. Somewhat non-descript.
human
You open the small door
gpt
You open the small door and cram yourself into the Potter room.

Shelves are nailed to the leaning wall. On them, some useless tools gather dust.

There is a Sugar glider nuclear shelter here.

A big box of fire works for later.
human
You take all
gpt
Nuclear shelter: Oof! It's too heavy.
box of fireworks: No, it's,as I think was already mentioned,  for later.
Tools: That's hardly portable.
human
You look around
gpt
Shelves are nailed to the leaning wall. On them, some useless tools gather dust.

There is a Sugar glider nuclear shelter here.

A big box of fire works for later.
human
You examine the shelves
gpt
Every shelf carries its own heap of rusty, quite useless tools.
human
You open the front door
gpt
You hesitate. What if there is nothing outside? What if your world is in reality small and underimplented? Is that really worth finding out? You pull back.
human
You cut it
gpt
(lacerating would be more appropriate)
You've learned from experience that destroying the household isn't considered rebelious these days, and therefore doesn't increase your chance of getting laid.
human
You pull the plug
gpt
Nothing obvious happens.
human
Go west
gpt
Before the party people invaded it, this was a spacious, cozy room, which one of those big, expensive TV's. Now, you have to wade through thick smoke to escape either eastwards to the hallway or to the Kitchen and the Pool beyond to the South.

Some people sit on the two comfortable couches, sharing joints and talking about why Doom III is the greatest game ever and people who don't like it just have no idea of gaming.

Between the two couches is a huge heap of purses and backpacks.

You can also see Mao here.
human
You go south
gpt
The main feature of this room is the impressive glass door, which leads south, to the pool. All benches and counters are weighted down with random food stuff, brought by the party goers. Of course, there are more people here than in the living room.

People stand around, glasses or plates in hand, happily munching and talking.

On the counter next to the sink sits Paul's laptop. It's plugged in.Wires connect it to some small speakers, providing music.
Right now, it's playing:"All the she wants" by Ace of Base.
human
You look under the tv
gpt
The TV is connected via an UPC (Universal Power converter) to the socket. You pocket the UPC, it might be handy. Just as you pull out the cable, someone seems to have found the remote, because the TV switches on for a few seconds, proclaiming: "UFO's attack major cities!" Now you're glad you pulled it. Nobody needs that 50s sci-fi geek crap.
human
Inventory
gpt
You are carrying:
an UPC
a battery
a chainsaw
human
You attach UPC to the chainsaw
gpt
You attach the UPC to the chainsaw. All it needs now is a power source.
human
You examine UPC
gpt
The UPC not only sound like something out of Star Wars, but also has that cheap yet charming proplike-quality to it. You know, it could've been in the movie for 3 second, not even properly named, but whole book cycles in the EU would be spend concerning it's usefulness and history, only to be squashed by a throw-away line in the prequels. Kinda sad, come to think of it. That sad, french quality. Like kissing a lost love in the rain.
human
You attach the chainsaw to UPC
gpt
You can only attach the UPC to other things.
human
You attach the battery to the chainsaw
gpt
The battery fit snugly onto the UPC. Grinning like the Doomguy, you give the start button a short squeeze. The low hum is a bit disappointing.
human
Maul
gpt
Enter saved game to store: Ok.
human
Maul mao
gpt
(lacerating would be more appropriate)
You casually walk into the living room, then suddenly run towards Mao, swinging the chainsaw and shouting: "AAAAAAAAH!" Somehow on the couch says: "Hey, that idiot's come as Leatherface!" Rethinking your choice of facial lotion, you cut the baffled Mao in half and quickly shove him and the chainsaw under one of the couches. You learned after last time that hiding the evidence is important. (Well, hiding it at the Crime Scene might not be a good idea.) You can't help but murmur: "Looks like heeee was a real red" and wish you had sunglasses." Then you notice a ticking and pick up the still wet bomb.
Some people seem worried, but after some pothead shouts: "Hey, nice performance art!" everything returns to normal.

TIC! TOC! TIC!
human
You get the bomb
gpt
You already have that.

TIC! TOC! TIC!
human
Go east
gpt
A small hallway, brightly lit by a row of neon lights. Dark wooden stairs lead upwards, and a doorframe opens west into the Living Room. A small door under the stairs lead into a storage closet. (Referred to by Paul only as "The Potter Room".)
Your steps don't make any sound on the the thick, red carpet.

You can see a chest of drawers (empty) here.

TIC! TOC! TIC!
human
You go to the east
gpt
You can't go that way.

TIC! TOC! TIC!
human
You open the small door
gpt
You open the small door and cram yourself into the Potter room.

Shelves are nailed to the leaning wall. On them, some useless tools gather dust.

There is a Sugar glider nuclear shelter here.

A big box of fire works for later.

TIC! TOC! TIC!
human
Light fireworks
gpt
This dangerous act would achieve little.

TIC! TOC! TIC!
human
You put bomb in box
gpt
That can't contain things.

TIC! TOC! TIC!
human
You put the bomb in shelter
gpt
You put the bomb into the Nuclear shelter.
human
Close shelter
gpt
Imagine 9746 z's. Imagine 9746 presses of enter. Finally, there is a muffled "Boom!".
human
Open shelter
gpt
You open the Nuclear shelter.
human
You look in it
gpt
The Nuclear shelter is empty.

Suddenly, Paul appears.
"What happened to Mihanda?"
"He split." "Anyway, you're not gonna believe this! There is an UFO IN THE GARDEN! They are EVERYWHERE! They're attacking Cities ALL OVER THE WORLD! Even in Europe!!! Humanity is doomed!!! Nobody cares about my party anymore! "
"I'll look into it."
human
You go west
gpt
Before the party people invaded it, this was a spacious, cozy room, which one of those big, expensive TV's. Now, you have to wade through thick smoke to escape either eastwards to the hallway or to the Kitchen and the Pool beyond to the South.

Some people sit on the two comfortable couches, sharing joints and talking about THE FRIGGIN" UFO IN THE GARDEN!"

Between the two couches is a huge heap of purses and backpacks.
human
You go south
gpt
The main feature of this room is the impressive glass door, which leads south, to the pool. All benches and counters are weighted down with random food stuff, brought by the party goers. Of course, there are more people here than in the living room.

People stand around, glasses or plates in hand, happily munching and talking.

On the counter next to the sink sits Paul's laptop. It's plugged in.Wires connect it to some small speakers, providing music.
Right now, it's playing:"It's the end of the world as we know it", "Purple People Eater" and "Also sprach Zarathustra" on endless repeat."
human
Go south
gpt
Pauls Parents are rather fond of this small pool. It's surrounded by some deck-chairs. The eastern and western garden walls are overgrown with undergrowth, so as to hide the family members going for a seamelss tan. This wasn't necessary for the southern wall, wich is quite high, because it borders on a Golf course (Pauls told you they find the occasional golf ball in the pool nonetheless.)

A friggin" 50s sci-fi geek crap silver UFO is hovering above the pool.

Scorched corpses lie around here, splattered on the chairs, some just ashy remains. You feel bad, but it sure does smell like barbeque.
human
You look at UFO
gpt
It's made of some seamless metal, and apart from its existence and the implications, it's rather boring.
human
You get it
gpt
Taken.
human
You cut UFO
gpt
(lacerating would be more appropriate)
Unfortunately, your wit isn't that sharp.
human
You check what you're carrying
gpt
You are carrying:
an UFO
human
You show UFO to the people
gpt
The crowd of people is unimpressed.
human
You eat UFO
gpt
That's plainly inedible.
human
You go to the south
gpt
Pauls Parents are rather fond of this small pool. It's surrounded by some deck-chairs. The eastern and western garden walls are overgrown with undergrowth, so as to hide the family members going for a seamelss tan. This wasn't necessary for the southern wall, wich is quite high, because it borders on a Golf course (Pauls told you they find the occasional golf ball in the pool nonetheless.)

Scorched corpses lie around here, splattered on the chairs, some just ashy remains. You feel bad, but it sure does smell like barbeque.
human
Swim
gpt
In the Swimming Pool (swimming)
You are surrounded by clear, cold water.

You can see a shoulder-bag (empty) here.
human
You examine the bag
gpt
It's a water-proof shoulder-bag.
human
Wear the bag
gpt
(first taking the shoulder-bag)
You can't reach it.
human
You hold the breath
gpt
You hold your breath.
human
Dive
gpt
You dive down and grab the shoulder bag.
human
Go outside
gpt
Pauls Parents are rather fond of this small pool. It's surrounded by some deck-chairs. The eastern and western garden walls are overgrown with undergrowth, so as to hide the family members going for a seamelss tan. This wasn't necessary for the southern wall, wich is quite high, because it borders on a Golf course (Pauls told you they find the occasional golf ball in the pool nonetheless.)

Scorched corpses lie around here, splattered on the chairs, some just ashy remains. You feel bad, but it sure does smell like barbeque.

You can also see an UFO here.

You can't hold your breath any longer.
human
You open bag
gpt
That's already open.
human
Wear the bag
gpt
You put on the shoulder-bag.
human
You climb wall
gpt
You manage to scramble over the wall.

You are at the foot of a small, sloping hill, the lawn neatly cut. You can go eastwards, uphill. The wall of Pauls garden is here.

The plank is prodded against the wall, a make-shift ramp.
human
You go northeast
gpt
A metal gate bares the way out to a lovely country lane.

You can see a golf cart (empty) here.
human
You examine the Gate
gpt
It's a lovely gate, the club's motto "Nos es superbus nostri balls!" engraved above it. (Yes, it has a stone arc, but that's unimportant.)
human
You enter the cart
gpt
You get into the golf cart.
human
You climb the wall
gpt
You manage to scramble over the wall.

Pauls Parents are rather fond of this small pool. It's surrounded by some deck-chairs. The eastern and western garden walls are overgrown with undergrowth, so as to hide the family members going for a seamelss tan. This wasn't necessary for the southern wall, wich is quite high, because it borders on a Golf course (Pauls told you they find the occasional golf ball in the pool nonetheless.)

Scorched corpses lie around here, splattered on the chairs, some just ashy remains. You feel bad, but it sure does smell like barbeque.

You can also see an UFO here.
human
Go north
gpt
The main feature of this room is the impressive glass door, which leads south, to the pool. All benches and counters are weighted down with random food stuff, brought by the party goers. Of course, there are more people here than in the living room.

People stand around, glasses or plates in hand, happily munching and talking.

On the counter next to the sink sits Paul's laptop. It's plugged in.Wires connect it to some small speakers, providing music.
Right now, it's playing:"It's the end of the world as we know it", "Purple People Eater" and "Also sprach Zarathustra" on endless repeat."
human
Go north
gpt
Before the party people invaded it, this was a spacious, cozy room, which one of those big, expensive TV's. Now, you have to wade through thick smoke to escape either eastwards to the hallway or to the Kitchen and the Pool beyond to the South.

Some people sit on the two comfortable couches, sharing joints and talking about THE FRIGGIN" UFO IN THE GARDEN!"

Between the two couches is a huge heap of purses and backpacks.
human
You open small
gpt
You open the small door and cram yourself into the Potter room.

Shelves are nailed to the leaning wall. On them, some useless tools gather dust.

There is a Sugar glider nuclear shelter here.

A big box of fire works for now.
human
You take the box
gpt
Yes, these might come in handy now.

Taken.
human
You put the box in the bag
gpt
You put the box of fireworks into the shoulder-bag.
human
You go to the south
gpt
Pauls Parents are rather fond of this small pool. It's surrounded by some deck-chairs. The eastern and western garden walls are overgrown with undergrowth, so as to hide the family members going for a seamelss tan. This wasn't necessary for the southern wall, wich is quite high, because it borders on a Golf course (Pauls told you they find the occasional golf ball in the pool nonetheless.)

Scorched corpses lie around here, splattered on the chairs, some just ashy remains. You feel bad, but it sure does smell like barbeque.

You can also see an UFO here.
human
You climb wall
gpt
You manage to scramble over the wall.

You are at the foot of a small, sloping hill, the lawn neatly cut. You can go eastwards, uphill. The wall of Pauls garden is here.

The plank is prodded against the wall, a make-shift ramp.
human
You take the cart
gpt
You'd have to get out of the golf cart first.
human
You take the box
gpt
Yes, these might come in handy now.

Taken.
human
You go to the west
gpt
In the Air (in the golf cart)
The golf cart gains top speed as you rush down the hill! (About 13 mph). Tongue between your lips, you manage to steer it onto the plank, and woosh- you're flying high into the sky, straight towards the UFO!

In the golf cart you can see a box of fireworks.
human
You go outside
gpt
You jump out of the cart and into the poolabove you, the UFO explodes in a huge, colorful fireball, as if cast by an epic mage on drugs. Debris rain down around you. Luckily, everyone in the pool area was already dead. A few moments of that eerie underwater silence pass, then Paul pulls you out of the water. He has to scream, because some houses in the neighborhood are burning. There are fire engines in the distance. Then the real fireworks start.
Paul wipes the wet hair from your forehead, his warm hand scorching on your cold skin, his eyes dark with worry.
"Some idiot flew a golf cart into the UFO. I wonder how he knew
someone destroyed all their force field with country music only 10 minutes ago."
You shrug. It feels good, resting on Pauls lap.
He strokes your face absent- mindedly.
"You know, with all this alien-tech lying around, it's gonna be an interesting year, 2009."
You smile and close your eyes. "But first things first. Let's get you out of those wet clothes. Hey, are those bloodstains?"