system
You are the dungeon master of a text adventure game. The game should involve the following genres and tags:
Horror,Humor, cover art,Ectocomp 2012,female protagonist,graphics,horror,humor,I7 source available,music,NightFloyd transcript,parser,treasure hunt
gpt
Each year on Samhain night, Ghosterington Manor, the lair of legendary (and dead) bad poet, futurist and occultist Vigilance Ghosterington, materialises atop the same lonely cliff. It stays there for three hours, tempting adventurers to brave its dangers before disappearing at midnight for another year. It is said that Ghosterington's last four poems - the worst he ever wrote, now worth millions of dollars - are still inside the manor. But nobody has lived to bring them out.

This year is your year, for you are the famous adventurer and treasure finder Jubilee Grief, and you're determined to survive the dangers of Ghosterington Manor, find the poems, sell them and retire as a (more) famous millionaire.
. . .

A screaming wind lashes the cliff face as you ascend it with your anti-spelunking equipment. Suddenly a higher pitched squeaking pierces through to your ears. After your recent trip to the Amazon you'd know that sound anywhere: Killer vampire bats!

Without hesitation you whip out your six shooter and kick away from the cliff face, scanning for potential attackers. Three rapidly approaching dark shapes swing into view and you open fire - BLAOW BLAOW BLAOW!

The three clipped bats flap and flail as they tumble to their deaths hundreds of feet below. You use your climbing pack to brace yourself as you swing back into the cliff, but the violent collision tears open a side pocket and your box of ammunition tumbles into space. Drat! Now you've only got the three bullets in your gun left to use in the house. Better make them count.
(* The title image would appear here if you were playing this game in an interpreter with graphics support.)

(* You would be hearing the theme music now if you were playing this game in an interpreter with sound support.)

Windswept and thoroughly bedraggled, you finally manage to haul yourself over the top of the cliff. Untangling yourself from your climbing pack, you contemplate that which stands before you. Ghosterington Manor is huge, black, wooden and windowless. Its famously inviting front door stands to your north. The cliff plummets away from you in all other directions, making you dizzy.

(WHEN YOU'RE READY TO LEAVE THE MANOR, COME BACK HERE TO THE CLIFFTOP.)

You can see your climbing pack here.
human
About yourself
gpt
Your hair's tied back in a tight ponytail and you're wearing your flexible black climbing and spying catsuit. Your minimal look has become all the rage with female adventurers.
human
You look at the pack
gpt
The pack is a big pile of ropes and pulleys you used to get up here. You'll leave it here by the cliff until it's time to leave.
human
You check what you're carrying
gpt
You are carrying:
a black catsuit (being worn)
a six shooter
human
You examine the shooter
gpt
This trusty weapon has extricated you from more sticky situations than you can recall. It's loaded with three bullets.
human
You examine the catsuit
gpt
It makes you totally inconspicuous or attractive as the situation calls for. Amazing!
human
You remove the catsuit
gpt
Messing with your catsuit could get you killed!
human
You check what you're carrying
gpt
You are carrying:
a xyzzy (being worn)
a xyzzy
human
You look at xyzzy
gpt
You feel confused.
human
Yes
gpt
Each year on Samhain night, Ghosterington Manor, the lair of legendary (and dead) bad poet, futurist and occultist Vigilance Ghosterington, materialises atop the same lonely cliff. It stays there for three hours, tempting adventurers to brave its dangers before disappearing at midnight for another year. It is said that Ghosterington's last four poems - the worst he ever wrote, now worth millions of dollars - are still inside the manor. But nobody has lived to bring them out.

This year is your year, for you are the famous adventurer and treasure finder Jubilee Grief, and you're determined to survive the dangers of Ghosterington Manor, find the poems, sell them and retire as a (more) famous millionaire.
. . .

A screaming wind lashes the cliff face as you ascend it with your anti-spelunking equipment. Suddenly a higher pitched squeaking pierces through to your ears. After your recent trip to the Amazon you'd know that sound anywhere: Killer vampire bats!

Without hesitation you whip out your six shooter and kick away from the cliff face, scanning for potential attackers. Three rapidly approaching dark shapes swing into view and you open fire - BLAOW BLAOW BLAOW!

The three clipped bats flap and flail as they tumble to their deaths hundreds of feet below. You use your climbing pack to brace yourself as you swing back into the cliff, but the violent collision tears open a side pocket and your box of ammunition tumbles into space. Drat! Now you've only got the three bullets in your gun left to use in the house. Better make them count.
(* The title image would appear here if you were playing this game in an interpreter with graphics support.)

(* You would be hearing the theme music now if you were playing this game in an interpreter with sound support.)

Windswept and thoroughly bedraggled, you finally manage to haul yourself over the top of the cliff. Untangling yourself from your climbing pack, you contemplate that which stands before you. Ghosterington Manor is huge, black, wooden and windowless. Its famously inviting front door stands to your north. The cliff plummets away from you in all other directions, making you dizzy.

(WHEN YOU'RE READY TO LEAVE THE MANOR, COME BACK HERE TO THE CLIFFTOP.)

You can see your climbing pack here.
human
You go north
gpt
You're in the vestibule of Ghosterington Manor, a well appointed hall of black marble. Doorways lead west and north, and you can leave the manor to the south.
human
Go west
gpt
You're in a creaky, high-ceilinged hall of blackest wood. There are rooms west and east from here.
human
You go west
gpt
You're in the fabled Contrition Corner, where Vigilance Ghosterington was said to have flagellated himself after writing each of his awful poems. The stories must have been true because the walls really are red with his blood! Doorways leave this creepy room to the north and east.

On the west wall is a painting of Vigilance Ghosterington himself.
human
You examine the painting
gpt
Ghosterington's generally weak and tardy face, pale beneath his widow's peak, is compensated for by a rather cruel but good looking mouth.
human
You examine the mouth
gpt
As you step closer to examine the mouth, a tiny voice from behind the painting whispers:

"Brown cow's what I used to use
I need another living muse
tell me now what should it be
as well you might, ho ho, hee hee!"
human
Coffee
gpt
The voice whispers:

"Your answer, poorly,
makes me sorely."
human
You examine the blood
gpt
The walls are dark with the ancient dried out blood of a self-hating bad poet. It's sad. Sad and gross.
human
You move painting
gpt
Nothing obvious happens.

A white statue materialises in the room. Perspiration immediately breaks out on your forehead. You instinctively realise that this is the thing called Terror Statue.
human
You look at the Statue
gpt
A tall white marble statue of a robed man. You want to lift your eyes to his face but you're too afraid to look.
human
Punch statue
gpt
Your fear prevents you from approaching Terror Statue. The only way to attack him is by shooting at him.
human
You shoot statue
gpt
The statue vanishes in the blink of an eye just before your bullet would have hit it.

You've got two more bullets.
human
Go north
gpt
The western way continues in all directions - except west.

An armoudillo shell lies discarded on the floor here.

You hear an alarming grinding and ticking sound as a silvery figure plods into the room. It's a clockwork girl. Her bloody metal face is stretched into a permanently agonised grimace. She's wielding an axe and looking at you.
human
You take the shell
gpt
You can tell at a glance that it's unwieldy and would reduce your ability to adventure. It might be worth examining more closely, though.
human
You examine girl
gpt
She's hideous, built out of metal and chunks of female flesh and tied together with veins and gristle.
human
You examine the shell
gpt
Emitting an angry buzzing sound, the clockwork girl spins towards you and deftly removes your head with her axe.
human
Go north
gpt
This is a plush room brightly lit by panels far above you in the walls and with a lush rug underfoot. Exits go south and east.

A writing desk is here. This must be where Ghosterington birthed his dread works.

The clockwork girl plods into the room. The rug muffles her footsteps.
human
Go east
gpt
There's a big, dusty bed here. You wonder if Ghosterington ever really slept in this manor. The place has shown no signs of being anything than unliveable. Exits go west, south and east.
human
Go south
gpt
This is a room made of solid, shining gold. Exits lead in all directions.

You hear a click from the floor as you enter the room.
human
Go east
gpt
The eastern way continues in all directions - except east.

A long dead plant sits in a pot here, black and thoroughly dry.
human
You take the plant
gpt
You can tell at a glance that it's unwieldy and would reduce your ability to adventure. It might be worth examining more closely, though.
human
You examine the plant
gpt
One of the papery leaves is in fact not a leaf but a piece of paper. You take it.

The clockwork girl plods into the room.
human
You go north
gpt
This room is upholstered in pink velvet. The nauseating colour and texture makes you shudder. Exits lead west and south.

There's a small vanity here.

The clockwork girl plods into the room.
human
You check what you're carrying
gpt
You are carrying:
paper A
a black catsuit (being worn)
a six shooter
human
Examine paper a.
gpt
There's one word on it: elephant.

Terror Statue materialises in the room and your heart skips a beat.
human
Go south
gpt
This is a room made of solid, shining gold. Exits lead in all directions.

You hear two clicks from the floor as you enter the room.
human
You go west
gpt
The western way continues in all directions - except west.

An armoudillo shell lies discarded on the floor here.

The clockwork girl plods into the room.
human
You examine the shell
gpt
Emitting an angry buzzing sound, the clockwork girl spins towards you and deftly removes your head with her axe.
human
Go east
gpt
This is a room made of solid, shining gold. Exits lead in all directions.

You hear three clicks from the floor as you enter the room.

In an instant, the golden ceiling descends to the floor, crushing you flat.
human
You examine the gun
gpt
This trusty weapon has extricated you from more sticky situations than you can recall. You've got two more bullets.
human
You look at your surroundings
gpt
The western way continues in all directions - except west.

The clockwork girl is ticking away here and brandishing her axe.

An armoudillo shell lies discarded on the floor here.
human
You take the axe
gpt
You try to snatch the axe from the clockwork girl's hands but it doesn't budge. She takes a retaliatory swipe at you. You realise that your head is now rolling across the floor as a result.
human
Go north
gpt
This is a plush room brightly lit by panels far above you in the walls and with a lush rug underfoot. Exits go south and east.

A writing desk is here. This must be where Ghosterington birthed his dread works.

The clockwork girl plods into the room. The rug muffles her footsteps.

Terror Statue materialises in the room and your heart skips a beat.
human
You examine the rug
gpt
The rug looks a bit loose. The clockwork girl is standing on it, watching you.
human
You pull the rug
gpt
You yank the rug and the clockwork girl topples over. She thrashes about madly, whirring and clicking like an overturned beetle, but she's not flexible enough to get back on her feet.

A cold wall of pure fear is radiating from the statue. Your limbs tremble, your blood runs icy, then every part of you just stops at once.
human
You shoot statue
gpt
The statue vanishes in the blink of an eye just before your bullet would have hit it.

You've got one shot left.

Emitting an angry buzzing sound, the clockwork girl spins towards you and deftly removes your head with her axe.
human
You go north
gpt
This is a plush room brightly lit by panels far above you in the walls and with a lush rug underfoot. Exits go south and east.

Terror Statue is here.

A writing desk is here. This must be where Ghosterington birthed his dread works.

The clockwork girl plods into the room. The rug muffles her footsteps.
human
Go east
gpt
There's a big, dusty bed here. You wonder if Ghosterington ever really slept in this manor. The place has shown no signs of being anything than unliveable. Exits go west, south and east.
human
Go east
gpt
This room is upholstered in pink velvet. The nauseating colour and texture makes you shudder. Exits lead west and south.

There's a small vanity here.

The clockwork girl plods into the room.
human
You go south
gpt
The eastern way continues in all directions - except east.

A long dead plant sits in a pot here, black and thoroughly dry.

The clockwork girl plods into the room.
human
Go south
gpt
You're in the vestibule of Ghosterington Manor, a well appointed hall of black marble. Doorways lead west and north, and you can leave the manor to the south.

The clockwork girl plods into the room.
human
Go west
gpt
You're in a creaky, high-ceilinged hall of blackest wood. There are rooms west and east from here.

The clockwork girl plods into the room.
human
You go west
gpt
You're in the fabled Contrition Corner, where Vigilance Ghosterington was said to have flagellated himself after writing each of his awful poems. The stories must have been true because the walls really are red with his blood! Doorways leave this creepy room to the north and east.

On the west wall is a painting of Vigilance Ghosterington himself.
human
You go to the north
gpt
The western way continues in all directions - except west.

An armoudillo shell lies discarded on the floor here.

The clockwork girl plods into the room.
human
You go north
gpt
This is a plush room brightly lit by panels far above you in the walls and with a lush rug underfoot. Exits go south and east.

Terror Statue is here.

A writing desk is here. This must be where Ghosterington birthed his dread works.

The clockwork girl plods into the room. The rug muffles her footsteps.
human
Go west
gpt
There's a big, dusty bed here. You wonder if Ghosterington ever really slept in this manor. The place has shown no signs of being anything than unliveable. Exits go west, south and east.

Terror Statue materialises in the room and your heart skips a beat.
human
Go west
gpt
This is a plush room brightly lit by panels far above you in the walls and with a lush rug underfoot. Exits go south and east.

A writing desk is here. This must be where Ghosterington birthed his dread works.

The clockwork girl plods into the room. The rug muffles her footsteps.
human
You pull the rug
gpt
You yank the rug and the clockwork girl topples over. She thrashes about madly, whirring and clicking like an overturned beetle, but she's not flexible enough to get back on her feet.
human
You take the axe
gpt
You try to snatch the axe from the clockwork girl's hands but it doesn't budge. She takes a retaliatory swipe at you. You realise that your head is now rolling across the floor as a result.
human
You examine the desk
gpt
Can it be? There's actually a dusty sheet of paper still here on the desk. It's one of Vigilance Ghosterington's poems! It's his famous scissors poem. You carefully take the poem.
human
You read the poem
gpt
I run up to her post-haste and cry,

"Don't run with scissors,"

The guck on me would make me scream
It'd really suck when you couldn't see
how freaked I was by your eyejuice on me
human
You look at what you're carrying with you
gpt
You are carrying:
the scissors poem
paper A
a black catsuit (being worn)
a six shooter
human
You go south
gpt
The western way continues in all directions - except west.

An armoudillo shell lies discarded on the floor here.
human
You look at the shell
gpt
You turn the shell over and a piece of paper tumbles out. It's one of Vigilance Ghosterington's poems! It's his famous Thomas Hardy poem. You carefully take the poem.
human
You read hardy
gpt
Yo, write me, Tess of the D'Urbervilles!
A-where you been hiding your mad email skills?
I'm up here jumping like a yeoman
but I kinda got the feeling you been on the lam.

and it ain't up on the heath, DAMN GIRL, I made an inspection!
You say you're a tall chick and just wanna have fun
but this silence sucks some major ass and's making me glum
human
You go north
gpt
This is a plush room brightly lit by panels far above you in the walls and with a lush rug underfoot. Exits go south and east.

The clockwork girl is thrashing about uselessly on the floor.

A writing desk is here. This must be where Ghosterington birthed his dread works.
human
Go east
gpt
There's a big, dusty bed here. You wonder if Ghosterington ever really slept in this manor. The place has shown no signs of being anything than unliveable. Exits go west, south and east.

Terror Statue is here.
human
You go to the east
gpt
This room is upholstered in pink velvet. The nauseating colour and texture makes you shudder. Exits lead west and south.

There's a small vanity here.
human
You look at the vanity
gpt
In a drawer of the vanity you find a crumpled sheet of paper. It's one of Vigilance Ghosterington's poems! It's his famous Molecular Biology poem. You carefully take the poem.
human
You read the biology
gpt
What would you say if I said, "You have nice genes, babe." ?

Let's wear white labcoats and have dinner sometime.

If I was a molecular biologist, I'd add some ligase to your buffer right now. In my lab, you'd find all the restriction enzymes you'd ever need.

In my lab, there would always be a bottle of fine white wine on the ice - stored in a separate refrigerator to the molecular biology specimens, of course.
human
You go south
gpt
The eastern way continues in all directions - except east.

A long dead plant sits in a pot here, black and thoroughly dry.
human
You go to the west
gpt
This is a room made of solid, shining gold. Exits lead in all directions.

You hear three clicks from the floor as you enter the room.

In an instant, the golden ceiling descends to the floor, crushing you flat.
human
You look at the mouth
gpt
As you step closer to examine the mouth, a tiny voice from behind the painting whispers:

"Brown cow's what I used to use
I need another living muse
tell me now what should it be
as well you might, ho ho, hee hee!"

Terror Statue materialises in the room and your heart skips a beat.
human
Elephant
gpt
The voice whispers:

"You got it wrong
kaboo, kabong!"
human
You examine the mouth
gpt
A cold wall of pure fear is radiating from the statue. Your limbs tremble, your blood runs icy, then every part of you just stops at once.
human
Shoot terror
gpt
(Terror Statue)
The statue vanishes in the blink of an eye just before your bullet would have hit it.

You've got one shot left.
human
Grey elephant
gpt
The voice whispers:

"With suchly flunk
You truly stunk."
human
Go east
gpt
You're in a creaky, high-ceilinged hall of blackest wood. There are rooms west and east from here.
human
You eat the plant
gpt
Let's get sane.
human
You look at the pot
gpt
You already searched the long dead plant. There's nothing else there.
human
You go north
gpt
This room is upholstered in pink velvet. The nauseating colour and texture makes you shudder. Exits lead west and south.

There's a small vanity here.

Terror Statue materialises in the room and your heart skips a beat.
human
Go west
gpt
There's a big, dusty bed here. You wonder if Ghosterington ever really slept in this manor. The place has shown no signs of being anything than unliveable. Exits go west, south and east.
human
You examine bed
gpt
You rummage through the bed and find a sheet of paper hidden amongst the sheets. You take it.
human
Examine paper b.
gpt
There's one word on it: purple.

Terror Statue materialises in the room and your heart skips a beat.
human
Go west
gpt
This is a plush room brightly lit by panels far above you in the walls and with a lush rug underfoot. Exits go south and east.

The clockwork girl is thrashing about uselessly on the floor.

A writing desk is here. This must be where Ghosterington birthed his dread works.
human
Purple elephant
gpt
The painting slides aside and out of sight, revealing a passage to the west.
human
You go west
gpt
Ooooh, a Secret Room!
Few things are more exciting in an adventurer's life than the discovery of a secret room. These things include: jetpacking around Mount Everest, playing Twister on the moon and sharing a pot of tea with Lara Croft. You have done all these things, but you're still pretty pleased to have discovered this tiny secret location in Ghosterington Manor. There's a lever on the wall and an exit to the east.

Trying and failing to be inconspicuous in the corner is a chest.
human
You examine the chest
gpt
You open the chest and find something inside. It's one of Vigilance Ghosterington's poems! It's his famous lobster poem. You've hit the jackpot! You carefully take the poem.
human
You read the lobster
gpt
I tied my lobster to a tree. I came back later, but woe was me!
"Oh where oh where can my lobster be?" (I asked no-one in particular.) Mirelle offered the following: "Perhaps he has eloped in the romantic tradition."
I considered what Mirelle had told me.
We disagreed, and a short while later our relationship began to go downhill.

My lobster ne'er was returned to me! Now I walk the Seine alone.
human
You pull the lever
gpt
You move the lever to the OFF position.
human
You examine the lever
gpt
It's labelled 'TERROR', and is currently in the off position.
human
You go east
gpt
You're in the fabled Contrition Corner, where Vigilance Ghosterington was said to have flagellated himself after writing each of his awful poems. The stories must have been true because the walls really are red with his blood! Doorways leave this creepy room to the west, north and east.
human
Go south
gpt
You retrieved the following poems from the manor:

The Thomas Hardy poem         2 million dollars
The Molecular Biology poem    4 million dollars
The lobster poem              9 million dollars

Total monetary value: 16 MILLION DOLLARS

Total cultural value: HIGHLY QUESTIONABLE
human
Wait
gpt
Time passes.

Time passes.

Time passes.

Time passes.
human
You wait awhile
gpt
Time passes.

Time passes.

Time passes.

Time passes.

Time passes.

Time passes.

Time passes.

Time passes.
human
You wait
gpt
Time passes.
human
Wait
gpt
Time passes.

--- UH OH, IT'S MIDNIGHT ---

Ghosterington Manor vanishes and you vanish along with it.
human
Wait
gpt
Time passes.

Time passes.

Time passes.

Time passes.

Time passes.

Time passes.

Time passes.

Time passes.

Time passes.

Time passes.