system
You are the dungeon master of a text adventure game. The game should involve the following genres and tags:
, Penultimate not numbered Speed IF,walkthrough
gpt
Type ABOUT for information about this ridiculous thing.

It is pitch black. The only sound is an electrical hum.
human
You listen
gpt
What a curious sound. Maddeningly amplified by the walls of this chamber. You can hardly stand it.
human
Inventory
gpt
in between. I went with the former restriction, just for fun.

Note: fun not guaranteed. Offer not valid in Texas.
human
Nothing else
gpt
You will need to be more specific. Try typing LOOK to get a description of your surroundings.

To stop these messages entirely, type NOVICE OFF.
human
You turn on the lights
gpt
I only understood the first part of that-- trying anyway.

Retrying as:
>TURN ON

Type UNDO if this isn't what you wanted to do, or CORRECT OFF to stop automatically correcting commands.

(your mum's shoes)
They're not something you can switch.
human
You look at nothing else
gpt
You will need to be more specific. Try typing LOOK to get a description of your surroundings.
human
You look
gpt
It is pitch black. The only sound is an electrical hum.
human
You remove the shoes
gpt
Not on your life. You've safely kept these shoes for 27 years and you're not about to let them out of your sight.
human
You go east
gpt
You'll have to get out of the tanning bed first.
human
You open bed
gpt
The humming noise mercifully stops.

Tanning Salon (in the tanning bed)
The walls feature a few posters of smiling tanned blonde people walking down streets, along beaches, eating ice cream, etc. The room itself is fairly cold and uninviting. You can get back to the shopping center through the hall to the south, and perhaps that would be for the best.

Your discarded clothing lies in a heap on the floor.
human
You open the bed
gpt
That's already open.
human
You look at the clothing
gpt
Your clothes are all wrinkly and yecch.
human
You get the clothing
gpt
You quickly gather up your clothes.
human
Wear clothing
gpt
You feel much more at ease with your wardrobe properly arranged on your person. This even despite its present condition.

Hold, what's this in your pocket?
human
Wear clothing
gpt
You're already wearing those!
human
You examine pocket
gpt
In the pockets, you find a genuine 1932 Shiny Time brass harmonica, a pair of carved bone dice, a single chopstick, a small can of liver paté, four small smooth stones, and a resin-encased quantity of hare's fur.
human
You examine dice
gpt
They currently display 0 and 0.
human
You roll the dice
gpt
You roll a 1 and a 2.
human
You play it
gpt
A very unfortunate sound blares from the harmonica.
human
Sing
gpt
Your singing is abominable.
human
You examine liver
gpt
You see nothing special about the small can of liver paté.
human
You eat the stone
gpt
That's plainly inedible.
human
You eat the liver
gpt
You eat the small can of liver paté. Not bad.
human
You go outside
gpt
You get out of the tanning bed.

The walls feature a few posters of smiling tanned blonde people walking down streets, along beaches, eating ice cream, etc. The room itself is fairly cold and uninviting. You can get back to the shopping center through the hall to the south, and perhaps that would be for the best.

You can see a pair of carved bone dice and a tanning bed (empty) here.
human
You exit the bed
gpt
I only understood the first part of that-- trying anyway.

Retrying as:
>EXIT
Wrightsville Town Shopping Center
Bleh. Capitalistic excess at its worst. The Video Head shop hawks its degenerate wares to the west; a corporate paint shop sells overpriced colors (colors!) to the south; the tanning salon is north and the food court is east.
human
You guess we are a the goat
gpt
You typed a rather long command and I didn't understand it. It's better to stick to simpler things like TAKE SMALL SMOOTH STONE.
human
You get the dice and the bed
gpt
I only understood the first part of that-- trying anyway.

Retrying as:
>GET DICE
You can't see any such thing.
human
Look around
gpt
Bleh. Capitalistic excess at its worst. The Video Head shop hawks its degenerate wares to the west; a corporate paint shop sells overpriced colors (colors!) to the south; the tanning salon is north and the food court is east.
human
Go north
gpt
The walls feature a few posters of smiling tanned blonde people walking down streets, along beaches, eating ice cream, etc. The room itself is fairly cold and uninviting. You can get back to the shopping center through the hall to the south, and perhaps that would be for the best.

You can see a pair of carved bone dice and a tanning bed (empty) here.
human
You look at what you're carrying with you
gpt
You possess:
a resin-encased quantity of hare's fur
four small smooth stones
human
You get the dice and the bed
gpt
a small can of liver paté
a single chopstick
a genuine 1932 Shiny Time brass harmonica
You are wearing:
some dissheveled clothing
your mum's shoes

pair of carved bone dice: Taken.
tanning bed: That's fixed in place.
human
Go east
gpt
A dozen garish illuminated signs advertise overcooked and overpriced foods from various stalls. Out of all of them, there's only one place here in which you would be caught dead.

The familiar golden arches beckon onwards.
human
You go to the east
gpt
You dutifully take your place in line.

McDonalds (in line)
The thoughts of has occured here in days gone by and what will occur in the imminent future fill you with a warm feeling of contentment. This is good.

You can see a cashier here.
human
Cashier
gpt
She is wearing a T-shirt reading "I killed my father and all I got was this lousy t-shirt" and a dull expression.

A woman and three even larger children waddle to the nearest table, bags of food in tow. Disgusting.
human
You eat cashier
gpt
(first taking the cashier)
I don't suppose the cashier would care for that.

A tall, thin man takes his salad and practically sprints to a table in the middle of the dining area. Deplorable.
human
Wait
gpt
Time passes.

At last, your turn has arrived. "How may I take your order?"
human
No
gpt
That was a rhetorical question.
human
No
gpt
The cashier has better things to do.
human
You order food
gpt
"That's not on the menu." The cashier points above her head.
human
You look at the menu
gpt
The usual. Burgers, happy meals, shakes, salads, sodas...
human
You order happy Meal
gpt
You wait a moment for your order to be prepared, then gleefully take the Happy Meal with you to your usual table in the back of the dining area.

McDonalds (in the booth)
The thoughts of has occured here in days gone by and what will occur in the imminent future fill you with a warm feeling of contentment. This is good.

You can see a cashier here.
human
You go south
gpt
You'll have to get out of the booth first.
human
You check your inventory
gpt
You possess:
a shake
a pair of carved bone dice
a resin-encased quantity of hare's fur
four small smooth stones
a small can of liver paté
a single chopstick
a genuine 1932 Shiny Time brass harmonica
You are wearing:
some dissheveled clothing
your mum's shoes
human
Happy Meal
gpt
Enclosed in a delightful chatreuse box.
human
You eat happy Meal
gpt
(first placing the shake on the table)
Delicious.

As you finish, you are overcome by an extreme feeling of dread. Suddenly, Tiny Tim bursts from the floor, destroying half of the dining area in an explosion of magma and ash. Your hair is nearly singed by a burning chunk of formica flying past your head.

"LESLIE!" he screams, pointing at you.

"Er... yes?"

Most of the restaurant is a smoking crater. A few upturned tables and chairs are scattered around the perimeter. The roof is now open to the sky, which seems to be turning an unpleasant shade of red. The exit back to the mall has been blocked with what seems to be a stack of bodies.

Tiny Tim hovers a foot off the crater floor, his long hair sticking out wildly in all directions. Dust and debris orbits slowly around him.

A fallen brick lies close at hand.

"LESLIE! I HAVE COME FOR YOU!"
human
You get the brick
gpt
Taken.

A sizable piece of the ceiling falls on the really rather poorly named former singer. He's stunned for a moment.
human
You look at the bodies
gpt
The former McDonalds customers are piled here in front of the exit to the mall. You'll neer be able to move them in time.
human
You throw the brick at Tim
gpt
Being struck by this latest weight proves too much for him to absorb the momentum of. He loses his balance and collapses to the ground in a pile of rubble.

Most of the restaurant is a smoking crater. A few upturned tables and chairs are scattered around the perimeter. The roof is now open to the sky, which seems to be turning an unpleasant shade of red. The exit back to the mall has been blocked with what seems to be a stack of bodies.

A large pile of rubble fills the crater.

You can also see a brick here.
human
You examine the rubble
gpt
(the pile of rubble)
The pile of debris that was once a McDonalds reaches nearly to the ceiling.
human
You climb the rubble
gpt
(the pile of rubble)
You clamber up the side of the pile, nearly tripping as some bricks shift under your foot. At last you reach the top of the pile.

Apocalypse (on the pile of rubble)
Most of the restaurant is a smoking crater. A few upturned tables and chairs are scattered around the perimeter. The roof is now open to the sky, which seems to be turning an unpleasant shade of red. The exit back to the mall has been blocked with what seems to be a stack of bodies.

From this vantage point, you notice a bent and twisted girder dangling from the hole in the ceiling.

You can also see a brick here.
human
You look at the girder
gpt
It lies just out of reach.
human
You get it
gpt
It is too far below you.
human
You jump
gpt
You manage to grab the girder and shimmy your way to freedom.

You are standing on the very sparsely implemented roof of the shopping center. Vultures are still circling overhead in the quickly darkening sky.

Every so often, a piece of debris or stream of dust falls from the great gaping hole in the roof.

A large pyramidal skylight stands before you.
human
You jump
gpt
You jump on the spot, fruitlessly.
human
You look at the skylight
gpt
A geometric construction of steel and glass.
human
You look at the vulture
gpt
A dozen or so vey large birds make lazy loops in the sky.
human
You enter the skylight
gpt
How?
human
You check your inventory
gpt
You possess:
a pair of carved bone dice
a resin-encased quantity of hare's fur
four small smooth stones
a small can of liver paté
a single chopstick
a genuine 1932 Shiny Time brass harmonica
You are wearing:
some dissheveled clothing
your mum's shoes
human
You break skylight
gpt
That's far too dangerous. Perhaps if you used another implement...
human
You throw the stone at skylight
gpt
You can't see any such thing.

An impressive spray of glass falls to the floor below as the small smooth stone shatters the pyramidal skylight.
human
You look at your surroundings
gpt
You are standing on the very sparsely implemented roof of the shopping center. Vultures are still circling overhead in the quickly darkening sky.

Every so often, a piece of debris or stream of dust falls from the great gaping hole in the roof.

A large pyramidal skylight stands before you.
human
You examine the skylight
gpt
A geometric construction of steel and glass. Rather more steel than glass, at the moment.
human
You jump through the skylight
gpt
I only understood the first part of that-- trying anyway.

Retrying as:
>JUMP
You jump on the spot, fruitlessly.
human
You check your inventory
gpt
You possess:
a pair of carved bone dice
a resin-encased quantity of hare's fur
three small smooth stones
a small can of liver paté
a single chopstick
a genuine 1932 Shiny Time brass harmonica
You are wearing:
some dissheveled clothing
your mum's shoes
human
You throw the stone at the skylight
gpt
Futile.
human
You remove the clothing
gpt
You take off the dissheveled clothing.
human
About yourself
gpt
Tanned bronze. Ignoring for a moment what you're wearing, a fine physical specimen.
human
You give the can to the vulture
gpt
You can only do that to something animate.
human
You get the vulture
gpt
That's hardly portable.
human
Inventory
gpt
You possess:
a pair of carved bone dice
a resin-encased quantity of hare's fur
three small smooth stones
a small can of liver paté
a single chopstick
a genuine 1932 Shiny Time brass harmonica
some dissheveled clothing
You are wearing:
your mum's shoes
nothing else
human
You feed the vultures
gpt
(to yourself)
(first taking the birds)
That's hardly portable.
human
Forward
gpt
If you can see an object, you can usually just interact with it directly without worrying about your position. Try a command like EXAMINE SMALL SMOOTH STONE for a closer look at something, or LOOK to show the description of this location again.
human
You lie under the skylight
gpt
If you can see an object, you can usually just interact with it directly without worrying about your position. Try a command like EXAMINE PYRAMIDAL SKYLIGHT for a closer look at something, or LOOK to show the description of this location again.
human
You examine the steel
gpt
A geometric construction of steel and glass. Rather more steel than glass, at the moment.
human
You hit the can with the chopstick
gpt
I only understood you as far as wanting to hit the small can of liver paté.
human
You sit on the skylight
gpt
How?
human
Wave can
gpt
You look ridiculous waving the small can of liver paté.
human
You look ridiculous
gpt
I only understood the first part of that-- trying anyway.

Retrying as:
>LOOK
Roof
You are standing on the very sparsely implemented roof of the shopping center. Vultures are still circling overhead in the quickly darkening sky.

Every so often, a piece of debris or stream of dust falls from the great gaping hole in the roof.

A large pyramidal skylight stands before you.
human
Wave
gpt
You wave, feeling foolish.
human
You take the glass
gpt
That's fixed in place.
human
Break glass
gpt
That's far too dangerous. Perhaps if you used another implement...
human
Inventory
gpt
You possess:
a pair of carved bone dice
a resin-encased quantity of hare's fur
three small smooth stones
a small can of liver paté
a single chopstick
a genuine 1932 Shiny Time brass harmonica
some dissheveled clothing
You are wearing:
your mum's shoes
nothing else
human
You remove the shoes
gpt
Not on your life. You've safely kept these shoes for 27 years and you're not about to let them out of your sight.
human
You roll the dice
gpt
(first taking the pair of carved bone dice)
You roll a 1 and a 3.
human
You roll the dice
gpt
(first taking the pair of carved bone dice)
You roll a 1 and a 2.
human
You roll the dice
gpt
(first taking the pair of carved bone dice)
You roll a 2 and a 3.
human
You get dice
gpt
Taken.
human
Bother
gpt
Quite.
human
You throw yourself at skylight
gpt
(first taking yourself)
You are always self-possessed.
human
You look at the clothes
gpt
Your clothes are all wrinkly and yecch.
human
You throw the clothes
gpt
Dropped.
human
You tie the clothes together
gpt
After a few minutes' work, you've created a decently long rope out of your own clothing.
human
You rub LIVER on the clothes
gpt
I only understood the first part of that-- trying anyway.

Retrying as:
>RUB LIVER
You achieve nothing by this.
human
You look at rope
gpt
It was once, an eternity ago, a quite fashionable wardrobe. Has it really come to this? Making fine clothing into arts and crafts as the world crumbles around you?
human
You tie the rope to the skylight
gpt
You fix one end to the steel frame of the skylight and let the other end dangle down into the shopping center.
human
You climb the rope
gpt
You rappel off the steel frame of the skylight and make about three handfulls worth of progress down into the mall before some piece of clothing gives way. You never did earn your knot-tying merit badge.
Some time later, you come to...

A cold wind blows through the ruins of the shopping center. Shards of glass, fallen bricks, and bodies litter the ground. The power is out, and you can barely see anything in the twilight. Every so often, an animal howls in the distance. Something seems disturbingly familiar about the smell of death and decay here.

The only way that has not been ruined or blocked by debris is the Video Head shop, to the west.

You can see a small smooth stone here.
human
You get the stone
gpt
Taken.
human
You go west
gpt
The electricity suddenly flickers on as you enter.

Rows and rows of vapid entertainment titles fill every square foot of this drab, depressing store. The full extent of the design imperative in decorating this place was apparently "gray".

A single, solitary copy of Doom III lies dejectedly in the back corner of the store.

A pale man, reigning over all he sees from his perch behind the counter, sneers at your presence in his fine establishment.

Wait. You realize, with dawning horror, that standing behind the counter is in fact not the Video Head clerk at all, but your evil twin!

"Leslie, dear, what ARE you wearing?"
human
Smell twin
gpt
You smell nothing unexpected.

"You know what, Leslie, I think we've been too hard on each other over the years. How about a truce?" Sam pauses for a second, but before you can respond: "Well, that was fun! What do you want to play now?"
human
You look at the Doom
gpt
It's a cardboard box.

Sam does that eyeball thing that you hate. So aggravating!
human
Punch twin
gpt
Deftly parried by the e-peen hammer.

"You know what, Leslie, I think we've been too hard on each other over the years. How about a truce?" Sam pauses for a second, but before you can respond: "Well, that was fun! What do you want to play now?"
human
You open the box
gpt
You open the copy of Doom III, revealing a fine pewter space marine, some depleted uranium dog tags, an Official Doom III Strategy guide, an Unofficial Doom III Strategy Guide, a jewel case, an order form, and an ID code.

Your evil twin takes a product from one of the shelves and dropkicks it out the door. "Not that I don't appreciate this fine establishment, but you know what they say: if you've seen one shopping center, you've seen the mall!" Deplorable.
human
You get all from the bo
gpt
I only understood the first part of that-- trying anyway.

Retrying as:
>GET ALL
copy of Doom III: Taken.
e-peen hammer: That seems to belong to your evil twin.
fine pewter space marine: Taken.
depleted uranium dog tags: Taken.
Official Doom III Strategy guide: Taken.
Unofficial Doom III Strategy Guide: Taken.
jewel case: Taken.
Doom III DVD: The jewel case isn't open.
Making of Doom III Featurette DVD: The jewel case isn't open.
order form: Taken.
ID code: Taken.

Sam chortles in glee.
human
You give the box to Sam
gpt
You can't bring yourself to perform such a charitable act to your evil twin. Perhaps in a less direct manner...

Your twin crushes a fly that had landed on the counter. Now we can add animal cruelty to the list of atrocities comitted.
human
You ask Sam about her feelings
gpt
There is no reply.

Your evil twin twirls an imaginary moustache. The fiend!
human
You put the box on the counter
gpt
"How utterly boring. Can't you find something more interesting?" Sam swats the copy of Doom III off of the counter.

Sam does that eyeball thing that you hate. So aggravating!
human
You look at Sam
gpt
Yes, it's none other than your evil twin Sam, menacing with an e-peen hammer! How monstrous, the duplicity! How devious, the deception! How terrible, the fashion sense!

Your evil twin twirls an imaginary moustache. The fiend!
human
Kiss sam
gpt
Keep your mind on the game.

"You know what, Leslie, I think we've been too hard on each other over the years. How about a truce?" Sam pauses for a second, but before you can respond: "Well, that was fun! What do you want to play now?"
human
You play harmonica
gpt
A very unfortunate sound blares from the harmonica.

Your twin crushes a fly that had landed on the counter. Now we can add animal cruelty to the list of atrocities comitted.
human
Hammer
gpt
You see nothing special about the e-peen hammer.

Sam does that eyeball thing that you hate. So aggravating!
human
You check your inventory
gpt
You possess:
an ID code
an order form
a jewel case (closed)
a Doom III DVD
a Making of Doom III Featurette DVD
an Unofficial Doom III Strategy Guide
an Official Doom III Strategy guide
some depleted uranium dog tags
a fine pewter space marine
four small smooth stones
a pair of carved bone dice
a resin-encased quantity of hare's fur
a small can of liver paté
a single chopstick
a genuine 1932 Shiny Time brass harmonica
You are wearing:
your mum's shoes
nothing else

Your evil twin takes a product from one of the shelves and dropkicks it out the door. "Not that I don't appreciate this fine establishment, but you know what they say: if you've seen one shopping center, you've seen the mall!" Deplorable.
human
You look at the form
gpt
"Register your game now!" Somehow it doesn't seem like a very urgent task, at the moment.

Your twin crushes a fly that had landed on the counter. Now we can add animal cruelty to the list of atrocities comitted.
human
Open case
gpt
You open the jewel case.

Sam does that eyeball thing that you hate. So aggravating!
human
You examine the code
gpt
"To access the special unique Collector's Edition-only weapon in single- and multi-player, log on with this code on the following website: ..." You eyes are already starting to glaze over.

Your evil twin twirls an imaginary moustache. The fiend!
human
You roll the dice
gpt
You roll a 1 and a 5.

Your twin crushes a fly that had landed on the counter. Now we can add animal cruelty to the list of atrocities comitted.
human
Official Guide
gpt
You see nothing special about the Official Doom III Strategy guide.

"You know what, Leslie, I think we've been too hard on each other over the years. How about a truce?" Sam pauses for a second, but before you can respond: "Well, that was fun! What do you want to play now?"
human
Unofficial
gpt
You see nothing special about the Unofficial Doom III Strategy Guide.

Your twin crushes a fly that had landed on the counter. Now we can add animal cruelty to the list of atrocities comitted.
human
You look at the case
gpt
In the jewel case are a Doom III DVD and a Making of Doom III Featurette DVD.

Your evil twin twirls an imaginary moustache. The fiend!
human
You give the dice to the twin
gpt
(first taking the pair of carved bone dice)
You can't bring yourself to perform such a charitable act to your evil twin. Perhaps in a less direct manner...

Sam does that eyeball thing that you hate. So aggravating!
human
You describe your surroundings
gpt
Rows and rows of vapid entertainment titles fill every square foot of this drab, depressing store. The full extent of the design imperative in decorating this place was apparently "gray".

Your evil twin leers at you from behind the counter.

You can also see a copy of Doom III (empty) and a counter here.

Your evil twin takes a product from one of the shelves and dropkicks it out the door. "Not that I don't appreciate this fine establishment, but you know what they say: if you've seen one shopping center, you've seen the mall!" Deplorable.
human
You examine Doom III DVD
gpt
Which do you mean, the Doom III DVD or the Making of Doom III Featurette DVD?
human
You show the dice to the twin
gpt
Your evil twin is unimpressed.

Your evil twin twirls an imaginary moustache. The fiend!
human
You put the dice on the counter
gpt
"How utterly boring. Can't you find something more interesting?" Sam swats the pair of carved bone dice off of the counter.

"You know what, Leslie, I think we've been too hard on each other over the years. How about a truce?" Sam pauses for a second, but before you can respond: "Well, that was fun! What do you want to play now?"
human
You throw dice at the twin
gpt
(first taking the pair of carved bone dice)
Wielding the hammer like a tennis racket, Sam bats the pair of carved bone dice harmlessly into the air.

Sam chortles in glee.
human
You put all on the counter
gpt
pair of carved bone dice: "How utterly boring. Can't you find something more interesting?" Sam swats the pair of carved bone dice off of the counter.
ID code: "How utterly boring. Can't you find something more interesting?" Sam swats the ID code off of the counter.
order form: "How utterly boring. Can't you find something more interesting?" Sam swats the order form off of the counter.
jewel case: "How utterly boring. Can't you find something more interesting?" Sam swats the jewel case off of the counter.
Unofficial Doom III Strategy Guide: "How utterly boring. Can't you find something more interesting?" Sam swats the Unofficial Doom III Strategy Guide off of the counter.
Official Doom III Strategy guide: "How utterly boring. Can't you find something more interesting?" Sam swats the Official Doom III Strategy guide off of the counter.
depleted uranium dog tags: "I do so love dress-up!" Your evil twin takes the depleted uranium dog tags and tries them on, practically giddy with excitement.
fine pewter space marine: "How utterly boring. Can't you find something more interesting?" Sam swats the fine pewter space marine off of the counter.
small smooth stone: "How utterly boring. Can't you find something more interesting?" Sam swats the small smooth stone off of the counter. resin-encased quantity of hare's fur: "How utterly boring. Can't you find something more interesting?" Sam swats the resin-encased quantity of hare's fur off of the counter.
small smooth stone: "How utterly boring. Can't you find something more interesting?" Sam swats the small smooth stone off of the counter. small smooth stone: "How utterly boring. Can't you find something more interesting?" Sam swats the small smooth stone off of the counter. small smooth stone: "How utterly boring. Can't you find something more interesting?" Sam swats the small smooth stone off of the counter. small can of liver paté: Sam promptly wolfs down the small can of liver paté, completely unselfconsciously. It's really a disgusting sight. single chopstick: "How utterly boring. Can't you find something more interesting?" Sam swats the single chopstick off of the counter. genuine 1932 Shiny Time brass harmonica: "How utterly boring. Can't you find something more interesting?" Sam swats the genuine 1932 Shiny Time brass harmonica off of the counter.

Sam does that eyeball thing that you hate. So aggravating!
human
You examine tags
gpt
Supposedly stamped from real depleted uranium. The number on the dog tags is ALK-1360053.

Your twin crushes a fly that had landed on the counter. Now we can add animal cruelty to the list of atrocities comitted.
human
You take all
gpt
genuine 1932 Shiny Time brass harmonica: Taken.
single chopstick: Taken.
small smooth stone: Taken.
small smooth stone: Taken.
small smooth stone: Taken.
resin-encased quantity of hare's fur: Taken.
small smooth stone: Taken.
fine pewter space marine: Taken.
Official Doom III Strategy guide: Taken.
Unofficial Doom III Strategy Guide: Taken.
jewel case: Taken.
order form: Taken.
ID code: Taken.
pair of carved bone dice: Taken.
copy of Doom III: Taken.
Doom III DVD: Taken.
Making of Doom III Featurette DVD: Taken.
e-peen hammer: That seems to belong to your evil twin.

Sam chortles in glee.
human
Examine sam
gpt
Yes, it's none other than your evil twin Sam, menacing with an e-peen hammer! How monstrous, the duplicity! How devious, the deception! How terrible, the fashion sense!

Sam does that eyeball thing that you hate. So aggravating!
human
You examine tags
gpt
Supposedly stamped from real depleted uranium. The number on the dog tags is ALK-1360053.

Your evil twin twirls an imaginary moustache. The fiend!
human
You sit on the counter
gpt
That's not something you can sit down on.

Your evil twin takes a product from one of the shelves and dropkicks it out the door. "Not that I don't appreciate this fine establishment, but you know what they say: if you've seen one shopping center, you've seen the mall!" Deplorable.
human
Play
gpt
What do you want to play?
human
You examine Making
gpt
You see nothing special about the Making of Doom III Featurette DVD.

Your evil twin twirls an imaginary moustache. The fiend!
human
You examine the twin
gpt
Yes, it's none other than your evil twin Sam, menacing with an e-peen hammer! How monstrous, the duplicity! How devious, the deception! How terrible, the fashion sense!

"You know what, Leslie, I think we've been too hard on each other over the years. How about a truce?" Sam pauses for a second, but before you can respond: "Well, that was fun! What do you want to play now?"
human
You examine the marine
gpt
It's a toy soldier. How quaint.

Your evil twin takes a product from one of the shelves and dropkicks it out the door. "Not that I don't appreciate this fine establishment, but you know what they say: if you've seen one shopping center, you've seen the mall!" Deplorable.
human
You kill twin
gpt
Deftly parried by the e-peen hammer.

Sam does that eyeball thing that you hate. So aggravating!
human
You play the the copy of Doom
gpt
Not possible.

Your twin crushes a fly that had landed on the counter. Now we can add animal cruelty to the list of atrocities comitted.
human
You play Doom III DVD
gpt
Which do you mean, the Making of Doom III Featurette DVD or the Doom III DVD?
human
Both
gpt
Sorry, you can only have one item here. Which exactly?
human
Play making of
gpt
Not possible.

Your evil twin takes a product from one of the shelves and dropkicks it out the door. "Not that I don't appreciate this fine establishment, but you know what they say: if you've seen one shopping center, you've seen the mall!" Deplorable.
human
You throw the stone at the twin
gpt
Wielding the hammer like a tennis racket, Sam bats the small smooth stone harmlessly into the air.

Your twin crushes a fly that had landed on the counter. Now we can add animal cruelty to the list of atrocities comitted.
human
You look at the game
gpt
Which do you mean, the Doom III DVD or the copy of Doom III?
human
You look at the game dvd
gpt
You see nothing special about the Doom III DVD.

Your evil twin takes a product from one of the shelves and dropkicks it out the door. "Not that I don't appreciate this fine establishment, but you know what they say: if you've seen one shopping center, you've seen the mall!" Deplorable.
human
You play it
gpt
Not possible.

Your evil twin twirls an imaginary moustache. The fiend!
human
Play game dvd
gpt
Not possible.

Sam chortles in glee.
human
You look around
gpt
Rows and rows of vapid entertainment titles fill every square foot of this drab, depressing store. The full extent of the design imperative in decorating this place was apparently "gray".

Your evil twin leers at you from behind the counter.

You can also see a counter here.

Your twin crushes a fly that had landed on the counter. Now we can add animal cruelty to the list of atrocities comitted.
human
You check what you're carrying
gpt
You possess:
a Making of Doom III Featurette DVD
a Doom III DVD
a copy of Doom III (open but empty)
a pair of carved bone dice
an ID code
an order form
a jewel case (open but empty)
an Unofficial Doom III Strategy Guide
an Official Doom III Strategy guide
a fine pewter space marine
four small smooth stones
a resin-encased quantity of hare's fur
a single chopstick
a genuine 1932 Shiny Time brass harmonica
You are wearing:
your mum's shoes
nothing else

Sam chortles in glee.
human
You throw dice at the twin
gpt
Wielding the hammer like a tennis racket, Sam bats the pair of carved bone dice harmlessly into the air.

Sam does that eyeball thing that you hate. So aggravating!
human
You look at the marine
gpt
It's a toy soldier. How quaint.

"You know what, Leslie, I think we've been too hard on each other over the years. How about a truce?" Sam pauses for a second, but before you can respond: "Well, that was fun! What do you want to play now?"
human
You ask the twin about the store
gpt
There is no reply.

Your twin crushes a fly that had landed on the counter. Now we can add animal cruelty to the list of atrocities comitted.
human
You get the tags
gpt
Those seem to belong to your evil twin.

Sam chortles in glee.
human
You throw the code at the twin
gpt
Wielding the hammer like a tennis racket, Sam bats the ID code harmlessly into the air.

Your evil twin twirls an imaginary moustache. The fiend!
human
You throw the chopstick at twin
gpt
Wielding the hammer like a tennis racket, Sam bats the single chopstick harmlessly into the air.

Sam does that eyeball thing that you hate. So aggravating!
human
You get all
gpt
e-peen hammer: That seems to belong to your evil twin.

Your evil twin takes a product from one of the shelves and dropkicks it out the door. "Not that I don't appreciate this fine establishment, but you know what they say: if you've seen one shopping center, you've seen the mall!" Deplorable.
human
Go east
gpt
A cold wind blows through the ruins of the shopping center. Shards of glass, fallen bricks, and bodies litter the ground. The power is out, and you can barely see anything in the twilight. Every so often, an animal howls in the distance. Something seems disturbingly familiar about the smell of death and decay here.

The only way that has not been ruined or blocked by debris is the Video Head shop, to the west.
human
Smell
gpt
Ah, yes. The old familiar scent of evil. You can almost remember -- what IS that?
human
You look at the bodies
gpt
Shopped til they dropped.
human
You check what you're carrying
gpt
You possess:
a Making of Doom III Featurette DVD
a Doom III DVD
a copy of Doom III (open but empty)
a pair of carved bone dice
an ID code
an order form
a jewel case (open but empty)
an Unofficial Doom III Strategy Guide
an Official Doom III Strategy guide
a fine pewter space marine
four small smooth stones
a resin-encased quantity of hare's fur
a single chopstick
a genuine 1932 Shiny Time brass harmonica
You are wearing:
your mum's shoes
nothing else
human
You search the bodies
gpt
You hear nothing unexpected.

You find nothing of interest.
human
Go west
gpt
Rows and rows of vapid entertainment titles fill every square foot of this drab, depressing store. The full extent of the design imperative in decorating this place was apparently "gray".

Your evil twin leers at you from behind the counter.

You can also see a counter here.

Sam chortles in glee.
human
You examine the counter
gpt
An unassuming gray crescent extending down half the length of the store.

Your twin crushes a fly that had landed on the counter. Now we can add animal cruelty to the list of atrocities comitted.
human
You look at the counter
gpt
An unassuming gray crescent extending down half the length of the store.

Your evil twin twirls an imaginary moustache. The fiend!
human
You look behind the counter
gpt
What do you know. They are indeed fine Italian leather imports.

"Whoa, keep your eyes on the prize!" The pale man directs your gaze upwards.

Your evil twin takes a product from one of the shelves and dropkicks it out the door. "Not that I don't appreciate this fine establishment, but you know what they say: if you've seen one shopping center, you've seen the mall!" Deplorable.
human
You show the fur to the twin
gpt
Your evil twin is unimpressed.

Sam does that eyeball thing that you hate. So aggravating!
human
You look up
gpt
You see nothing unexpected in that direction.

Sam chortles in glee.
human
You climb the counter
gpt
I don't think much is to be achieved by that.

Your evil twin takes a product from one of the shelves and dropkicks it out the door. "Not that I don't appreciate this fine establishment, but you know what they say: if you've seen one shopping center, you've seen the mall!" Deplorable.
human
You throw Making at the twin
gpt
Wielding the hammer like a tennis racket, Sam bats the Making of Doom III Featurette DVD harmlessly into the air.

Sam chortles in glee.
human
You check what you're carrying
gpt
You possess:
a Making of Doom III Featurette DVD
a Doom III DVD
a copy of Doom III (open but empty)
a pair of carved bone dice
an ID code
an order form
a jewel case (open but empty)
an Unofficial Doom III Strategy Guide
an Official Doom III Strategy guide
a fine pewter space marine
four small smooth stones
a resin-encased quantity of hare's fur
a single chopstick
a genuine 1932 Shiny Time brass harmonica
You are wearing:
your mum's shoes
nothing else

"You know what, Leslie, I think we've been too hard on each other over the years. How about a truce?" Sam pauses for a second, but before you can respond: "Well, that was fun! What do you want to play now?"
human
You talk to Sam
gpt
If you're trying to talk to someone, you might try ASK TWIN ABOUT something, the traditional conversation syntax. Type ABOUT to see if this story offers more detailed instructions for conversation.
human
You read unofficial
gpt
You see nothing special about the Unofficial Doom III Strategy Guide.

Sam chortles in glee.
human
You ask Sam about the armageddon
gpt
There is no reply.

Your evil twin takes a product from one of the shelves and dropkicks it out the door. "Not that I don't appreciate this fine establishment, but you know what they say: if you've seen one shopping center, you've seen the mall!" Deplorable.
human
You ask the TWIN about the play
gpt
There is no reply.

"You know what, Leslie, I think we've been too hard on each other over the years. How about a truce?" Sam pauses for a second, but before you can respond: "Well, that was fun! What do you want to play now?"
human
You examinthe e-peen hammer
gpt
You see nothing special about the e-peen hammer.

Your evil twin twirls an imaginary moustache. The fiend!
human
You ask Sam about Tiny Tim
gpt
There is no reply.

Sam does that eyeball thing that you hate. So aggravating!
human
You ask the TWIN about the game
gpt
There is no reply.

Your evil twin twirls an imaginary moustache. The fiend!
human
You ask Sam about Sam
gpt
There is no reply.

Your twin crushes a fly that had landed on the counter. Now we can add animal cruelty to the list of atrocities comitted.
human
You hit Sam
gpt
Deftly parried by the e-peen hammer.

Your evil twin twirls an imaginary moustache. The fiend!
human
You play the game
gpt
Which do you mean, the Doom III DVD or the copy of Doom III?
human
You check your inventory
gpt
You possess:
a Making of Doom III Featurette DVD
a Doom III DVD
a copy of Doom III (open but empty)
a pair of carved bone dice
an ID code
an order form
a jewel case (open but empty)
an Unofficial Doom III Strategy Guide
an Official Doom III Strategy guide
a fine pewter space marine
four small smooth stones
a resin-encased quantity of hare's fur
a single chopstick
a genuine 1932 Shiny Time brass harmonica
You are wearing:
your mum's shoes
nothing else

Your twin crushes a fly that had landed on the counter. Now we can add animal cruelty to the list of atrocities comitted.
human
You throw Making at Sam
gpt
Wielding the hammer like a tennis racket, Sam bats the Making of Doom III Featurette DVD harmlessly into the air.
human
You check what you're carrying
gpt
Your evil twin takes a product from one of the shelves and dropkicks it out the door. "Not that I don't appreciate this fine establishment, but you know what they say: if you've seen one shopping center, you've seen the mall!" Deplorable.

You possess:
a Making of Doom III Featurette DVD
a Doom III DVD
a copy of Doom III (open but empty)
a pair of carved bone dice
an ID code
an order form
a jewel case (open but empty)
an Unofficial Doom III Strategy Guide
an Official Doom III Strategy guide
a fine pewter space marine
four small smooth stones
a resin-encased quantity of hare's fur
a single chopstick
a genuine 1932 Shiny Time brass harmonica
You are wearing:
your mum's shoes
nothing else

Your evil twin twirls an imaginary moustache. The fiend!
human
You throw the stone at Sam
gpt
Wielding the hammer like a tennis racket, Sam bats the small smooth stone harmlessly into the air.

Sam chortles in glee.
human
You throw game dvd at Sam
gpt
Wielding the hammer like a tennis racket, Sam bats the Doom III DVD harmlessly into the air.

Sam does that eyeball thing that you hate. So aggravating!
human
You throw the dice at Sam
gpt
Wielding the hammer like a tennis racket, Sam bats the pair of carved bone dice harmlessly into the air.

Your evil twin takes a product from one of the shelves and dropkicks it out the door. "Not that I don't appreciate this fine establishment, but you know what they say: if you've seen one shopping center, you've seen the mall!" Deplorable.
human
You throw the harmonica at Sam
gpt
Wielding the hammer like a tennis racket, Sam bats the genuine 1932 Shiny Time brass harmonica harmlessly into the air.

Sam does that eyeball thing that you hate. So aggravating!
human
You put the shoes on the counter
gpt
(your mum's shoes on the counter)
(first taking them off)
Desperate times call for desperate measures. Your evil twin watches intently as you unlace and remove your darling mother's shoes. "Those... why, those are..."

Your evil twin takes your mum's shoes and tries them on, practically giddy with excitement.

Sam looks absolutely ridiculous wearing the dog tags and mother's favorite shoes. A fact which your pointedly point out. Eyes wide, Sam runs screaming out into the night.

Great. Now you need a ride home.
human
You open bed
gpt
The humming noise mercifully stops.

Tanning Salon (in the tanning bed)
The walls feature a few posters of smiling tanned blonde people walking down streets, along beaches, eating ice cream, etc. The room itself is fairly cold and uninviting. You can get back to the shopping center through the hall to the south, and perhaps that would be for the best.

Your discarded clothing lies in a heap on the floor.
human
You exit the bed
gpt
I only understood the first part of that-- trying anyway.

Retrying as:
>EXIT

Type UNDO if this isn't what you wanted to do, or CORRECT OFF to stop automatically correcting commands.

To stop these messages entirely, type NOVICE OFF.

You get out of the tanning bed.

The walls feature a few posters of smiling tanned blonde people walking down streets, along beaches, eating ice cream, etc. The room itself is fairly cold and uninviting. You can get back to the shopping center through the hall to the south, and perhaps that would be for the best.

Your discarded clothing lies in a heap on the floor.

You can also see a tanning bed (empty) here.
human
Novice off
gpt
Novice mode disabled.
human
You take all
gpt
dissheveled clothing: You quickly gather up your clothes.
genuine 1932 Shiny Time brass harmonica: Taken.
pair of carved bone dice: Taken.
single chopstick: Taken.
small can of liver paté: Taken.
small smooth stone: Taken.
small smooth stone: Taken.
small smooth stone: Taken.
small smooth stone: Taken.
resin-encased quantity of hare's fur: Taken.
human
You get the clothes
gpt
You feel much more at ease with your wardrobe properly arranged on your person. This even despite its present condition.

Hold, what's this in your pocket?

You already have those.
human
Go west
gpt
Rows and rows of vapid entertainment titles fill every square foot of this drab, depressing store. The full extent of the design imperative in decorating this place was apparently "gray".

A single, solitary copy of Doom III lies dejectedly in the back corner of the store.

A pale man, reigning over all he sees from his perch behind the counter, sneers at your presence in his fine establishment.
human
You get Doom III
gpt
The pale man sneers even harder. "You think I would let someone like you even touch such an artifact? It's a collector's edition, the super-rare "Ultraviolent" release. Only 25 of these were ever produced. Fine pewter space marine, depleted uranium dog tags, official and unofficial strategy guide, and the Making-of featurette, AND an extra weapon you can equip in both single and multiplayer."

He looks you up and down, slowly, exhaustively, as if he was mentally cataloging every atom. "No. You wouldn't appreciate it."
human
You look at the man
gpt
Two eyes; one nose; one mouth; two ears; two arms; two legs; far too much hair. He wears a smart blue button-down shirt and deep red tie, khaki pants and a black belt. You can't see from back here, but you imagine his shoes must be fine Italian leather imports.
The presentation is ruined by the cheap name tag sticker over his
shirt pocket.
human
You examine the sticker
gpt
HELLO my name is bOb S.
human
Kiss man
gpt
Keep your mind on the game.
human
You get the sticker
gpt
That seems to belong to Bob.
human
You look
gpt
Rows and rows of vapid entertainment titles fill every square foot of this drab, depressing store. The full extent of the design imperative in decorating this place was apparently "gray".

A single, solitary copy of Doom III lies dejectedly in the back corner of the store.

Bob, reigning over all he sees from his perch behind the counter, sneers at your presence in his fine establishment.
human
You get Doom
gpt
Bob looks you up and down, slowly, exhaustively, as if he was mentally cataloging every atom. "No. You wouldn't appreciate it."
human
You go east
gpt
Bleh. Capitalistic excess at its worst. The Video Head shop hawks its degenerate wares to the west; a corporate paint shop sells overpriced colors (colors!) to the south; the tanning salon is north and the food court is east.
human
You go to the north
gpt
The walls feature a few posters of smiling tanned blonde people walking down streets, along beaches, eating ice cream, etc. The room itself is fairly cold and uninviting. You can get back to the shopping center through the hall to the south, and perhaps that would be for the best.

You can see a tanning bed (empty) here.
human
You enter the bed
gpt
Oh, no. You've had quite enough of that. Any longer and you'd develop a crick in your back, and you wouldn't be confortable again all day.
human
You close the bed
gpt
You close the tanning bed.
human
You look at the shoes
gpt
Ah, yes. You had, not two hours ago whilst bathing (and truly: is that not always the most productive time for cogitation?) an utterly marvelous idea. You would acquire a tan while adorned with your dearest mother's dearest shoes, lying on a beach and sipping from a tall glass of coconut cream spritzer until the point at which you would drift off into serenely dizziful bliss, awakening to find impressed upon your pliant skin the intricate interlocking paisley pattern of wistful bygone years.

But there's no goddamn sun in winter here in Finland so you had to go with plan B.