system
You are the dungeon master of a text adventure game. The game should involve the following genres and tags:
, barbarian,bird,casino,cow,economy,fantasy,farm,golf,hotel,Mom,ogre,parser,political,short game,walkthrough,ZIL source available
gpt
After the magical wall was erected around the kingdom, the cost of farm labor skyrocketed as workers from the enchanted forest and fairy prairie were no longer able to cross the border to find jobs. You and your mom were squeaking by until she became sick. Unable to afford insurance, you have had to sell off your assets one by one to keep the farm going.

Now you are down to your final cow, good old Bessy.

Not much is left of the farm, just the tumble down shack you call home and an old stable. The town is off to the west.

Bessy the cow anxiously chews her last wad of cud.
human
You check your inventory
gpt
You are empty-handed.
human
You take the cow
gpt
You pick up the cow.
human
You examine the cow
gpt
Thanks to years of malnutrition, the stunted cow is the size of a chihuahua.
human
Go west
gpt
On the seedier side of town, the windows of the pawn shop are plastered with signs: Paychecks Cashed, BUY AND SELL GOLD, Top Price for Cows! Your farm is back to the east.

Greasy and perpetually hung over, the proprietor of the pawnshop, Yagmar the Barbarian, stands behind a counter and brims with avarice.
human
You look at Yagmar
gpt
Seven foot four and 520 pounds. Obey.
human
Kiss yagmar
gpt
How is that in the least bit a desirable thing to do?
human
You talk to Yagmar
gpt
"You got stuff to trade? Give it to me. Then I give you stuff. Then you leave. That's how it works."
human
You give the cow to Yagmar
gpt
Yagmar looks sideways at the pint-sized cow.

"Kind of scrawny, but I'll take it. Let's see. Here, take one of these. Now scram."

He hands you a somewhat shriveled but vaguely magical legume.
human
You look at the bean
gpt
The bean glows faintly. It is either magical or radioactive.
human
Plant bean
gpt
When the bean touches the soil, it burrows in furiously, ejecting dirt in all directions. After a moment, the ground shakes and a massive beanstalk shoots upward.
human
You examine the stalk
gpt
The beanstalk towers over your farm and for that matter, the town as well.

Down the road, you expect you'll be getting some angry letters from the homeowner's association.
human
Go upward
gpt
You climb up the bean stalk, which goes on and on. Eventually, you push through the clouds and find yourself poking through a lawn.

A lush and rambling golf course with a red-carpeted cloud-top path leading west to the casino. Off to the east, the golf course is surrounded by luscious cumulus clouds.

Some immigrant geese wander the carefully tended lawn brazenly.

There is a goose turd here.
human
You examine the turd
gpt
As goose droppings go, this is a fine one.
human
You get the turd
gpt
You pick up the goose turd.
human
You go to the west
gpt
A glitzy casino entirely covered in gold leaf and flashing neon. The game floor is just to the west.

A doddering ogre, covered in cheddar powder and sporting a bad comb over, stands just outside the gilded doors of the casino.
human
You talk to the ogre
gpt
"Let me give you some advice, do you want some advice? Of course you do, you're saying, I wonder what advice he has to give me, and now I'm giving it to you, so you should listen because they say my advice is the best advice. I give the best advice, because when I am telling people things, about advice, they all say, he has the best advice. So, my advice is that you get those birds, those horrible, they're not ducks, you know. Ducks are patriotic. There are television shows about ducks, and I saw one last week, so this is not at all about ducks. Those birds are geese, and I have had it up to here, right here, with them. So, if you get rid of them, then maybe we can talk."
human
Go east
gpt
A lush and rambling golf course with a red-carpeted cloud-top path leading west to the casino. Off to the east, the golf course is surrounded by luscious cumulus clouds.

Some immigrant geese wander the carefully tended lawn brazenly.
human
You take the geese
gpt
The geese flutter about clearly avoiding you.
human
You go to the east
gpt
As there are no safety nets in the kingdom, you fall through the fluffy clouds and land right where you started: in the dirt.

Not much is left of the farm, just the tumble down shack you call home and an old stable. The town is off to the west.

A humongous green beanstalk with broad, leathery leaves reaches up through the clouds.
human
Go west
gpt
On the seedier side of town, the windows of the pawn shop are plastered with signs: Paychecks Cashed, BUY AND SELL GOLD, Top Price for Cows! Your farm is back to the east.

Greasy and perpetually hung over, the proprietor of the pawnshop, Yagmar the Barbarian, stands behind a counter and brims with avarice.
human
You give the turd to Yagmar
gpt
Yagmar squints at the ignoble lump of goose excrement on the counter and raises an eyebrow.

"And what exactly am I supposed to do with *that*?" he inquires, pointing towards it with an accusatory index finger.

"It's a souvenir from the casino," you say, trying to sound upbeat. "It's worth it's weight..."

Before you can finish, the barbarian swipes the turd from his counter top and produces Bessy. "Whatever it is, it's guaranteed to be worth more than this viscious miniature cow of yours, which eats like a horse. Here. Take it and get out of here."
human
Go east
gpt
Not much is left of the farm, just the tumble down shack you call home and an old stable. The town is off to the west.

A humongous green beanstalk with broad, leathery leaves reaches up through the clouds.
human
Inventory
gpt
You are carrying:
a cow
human
Go upwards
gpt
You climb up the bean stalk, which goes on and on. Eventually, you push through the clouds and find yourself poking through a lawn.

A lush and rambling golf course with a red-carpeted cloud-top path leading west to the casino. Off to the east, the golf course is surrounded by luscious cumulus clouds.

Some immigrant geese wander the carefully tended lawn brazenly.
human
You drop the cow
gpt
As the diminutive cow lands on her spindly legs, she emits a yappy "moo".

Driven by the sort of blood lust that one rarely sees in cows, Bessy rips across the lawn after the geese. The geese erupt into flight and settle a short distance away on a cloud bank. From that safe harbor, they honk mockingly at Bessy, who stands at the very edge of the lawn vibrating with anger and yapping madly at them.
human
You go to the west
gpt
A glitzy casino entirely covered in gold leaf and flashing neon. The game floor is just to the west.

A doddering ogre, covered in cheddar powder and sporting a bad comb over, stands just outside the gilded doors of the casino.
human
You talk to the ogre
gpt
"You did well on the goose job, very, very well," the ogre confides with a wink. "This might work out for you. It could be great. Tell you what, if you can show me that you can pull off the kind of deal that I would make myself, I'll not only let you into the casino, I'll hire you on the spot."
human
You go west
gpt
The ogre refuses to let you enter, but gives you some advice.

"You did well on the goose job, very, very well," the ogre confides with a wink. "This might work out for you. It could be great. Tell you what, if you can show me that you can pull off the kind of deal that I would make myself, I'll not only let you into the casino, I'll hire you on the spot."
human
You go to the east
gpt
A lush and rambling golf course with a red-carpeted cloud-top path leading west to the casino. Off to the east, the golf course is surrounded by luscious cumulus clouds.

Accustomed to starvation, the jittery cow stares unblinkingly into space.

The non-indigenous fowl cluck and bristle with indignity from atop the neighboring clouds, while they keep a suspicious eye on your cow.
human
You get the cow
gpt
Now obsessed with her mortal enemies, the geese, Bessy snaps at you menacingly as you get near her. Since you value your hands, you let the murderous cow be. She growls at the birds, her rage barely contained.
human
Go downward
gpt
You can't find the spot where you had climbed up from the beanstalk. The incredibly vigorous lawn must have grown back over the hole.
human
Go east
gpt
As there are no safety nets in the kingdom, you fall through the fluffy clouds and land right where you started: in the dirt.

Not much is left of the farm, just the tumble down shack you call home and an old stable. The town is off to the west.

You haven't seen your mom out of her sick bed in years, but there she is carving furrows in the soil with the stub of a twisted stick, literally scratching out a meager existence.

A humongous green beanstalk with broad, leathery leaves reaches up through the clouds.
human
You get the mom
gpt
You pick her up like a bundle of kindling.
human
Go west
gpt
On the seedier side of town, the windows of the pawn shop are plastered with signs: Paychecks Cashed, BUY AND SELL GOLD, Top Price for Cows! Your farm is back to the east.

Greasy and perpetually hung over, the proprietor of the pawnshop, Yagmar the Barbarian, stands behind a counter and brims with avarice.
human
You sell mom
gpt
[to Yagmar]
Yagmar looks her over appraisingly, pokes at her a bit with a soup spoon, and shoves her in a sack.

"Done and done," he says, rubbing his hands together. "Haven't had one of these in a while, so tell you what I'm going to do."

He reaches around the back of the counter and pulls out a fine Italian three-piece suit with fine pinstripes. Very chic. Stunned, you try it on immediately. It fits to a tee. No one will ever mistake you for a lowly farm hand again, by God.
human
You look at the suit
gpt
A fancy business suit, sharply tailored and top quality.
human
You wear the suit
gpt
You already have that.
human
Go east
gpt
Not much is left of the farm, just the tumble down shack you call home and an old stable. The town is off to the west.

A humongous green beanstalk with broad, leathery leaves reaches up through the clouds.
human
You go upwards
gpt
You climb up the bean stalk, which goes on and on. Eventually, you push through the clouds and find yourself poking through a lawn.

A lush and rambling golf course with a red-carpeted cloud-top path leading west to the casino. Off to the east, the golf course is surrounded by luscious cumulus clouds.

Accustomed to starvation, the jittery cow stares unblinkingly into space.

The non-indigenous fowl cluck and bristle with indignity from atop the neighboring clouds, while they keep a suspicious eye on your cow.
human
You go to the west
gpt
A glitzy casino entirely covered in gold leaf and flashing neon. The game floor is just to the west.

A doddering ogre, covered in cheddar powder and sporting a bad comb over, stands just outside the gilded doors of the casino.
human
You talk to the ogre
gpt
"Hang on a minute," the ogre says, holding up a tiny finger as he talks into his cell phone. "His own mother? Fantastic. Absolutely fantastic. He's here now. Talk later, Yagmar."

The ogre pats you on the head, leaving a orange powdery outline of his palm on your forehead. "Just want to say, what you did, I am so, so impressed. Hugely. Impressed. You're one of us now, come right on in, just over there, to the west. See the door? To the casino? That way."
human
You go west
gpt
Having impressed the ogre by literally selling your own mother, you walk triumphantly towards the casino. A smartly dressed steward comes out to greet you and leads you towards the building.

But he keeps walking: around the entrance to the game floor, back behind the parking ramp, down past the laundry area, and finally into the hotel through a rusty door at the rear of the building.

"Congratulations," he says gleefully, handing you a dish towel, "and welcome to senior management."

A tower of dirty dishes looms next to you, tilting precariously alongside an industrial-sized sink fully of opaque, gray water in the steamy hotel kitchen.

****  The game is over  ****