Parents who ‘overvalue’ their children risk creating arrogant, narcissistic adults, according to scientists . They may be your pride and joy – but telling your child they are special gives them an inflated view of themselves. And parents who ‘overvalue’ their children risk creating arrogant, narcissistic adults, according to scientists. A psychological study found that instead of telling children they are better than others, parents should tell them they are as good as anyone else. The research, which tracked participants for 18 months, suggests there is a fine line between self-esteem and narcissism. Children who are repeatedly told they are special go on to have an inflated view of themselves, whereas those who are simply told they are loved tend to be confident and well-rounded. The difference is a child who thinks they are as good as others – and one who thinks they are better than others and entitled to special treatment. However, narcissistic children still have lower self-esteem than their more modest playmates. The study of 565 Dutch children aged seven to 11 was carried out in a joint project by the University of Amsterdam and Ohio State University. Interviewed four times, parents were asked about their relationship and conversations with their child, and the child was asked how they viewed themselves and others. Lead researcher Dr Eddie Brummelman, from the University of Amsterdam, said: ‘Rather than raising self-esteem, overvaluing practices may inadvertently raise levels of narcissism.’ Professor Brad Bushman of Ohio State University added: ‘Children believe it when their parents tell them that they are more special than others. That may not be good for them or for society. People with high self-esteem think they’re as good as others, whereas narcissists think they’re better than others.’ The study, published in the journal Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, found that children who were repeatedly told they were special tended to think less of others – but did not necessarily have higher self-esteem. In contrast, children whose parents showed them more emotional warmth had higher levels of self-esteem. Professor Bushman said: ‘Overvaluation predicted narcissism, not self-esteem, whereas warmth predicted self-esteem, not narcissism.’ The research, which tracked participants for 18 months, suggests there is a fine line between self-esteem and narcissism . The psychologist, a father of three, said his research had changed his own parenting style. ‘When I first started doing this research in the 1990s, I used to think my children should be treated like they were extra-special,’ he said. ‘I’m careful not to do that now. ‘It is important to express warmth to your children because that may promote self-esteem, but overvaluing them may promote higher narcissism.’ Dr Brummelman suggested that parents could be taught to express affection without telling their children they are superior to others. ‘Future studies should test whether this can work,’ he said.
Parents who ‘overvalue’ children risk creating arrogant, narcissistic adults . Researchers tracked 565 Dutch children aged seven to 11 for 18 months . Also found narcissistic children still have lower self-esteem than more modest playmates .