For most couples, the idea of shared interests in a middle-aged relationship are trips to the garden centre, a meal in the local pub or maybe a visit to the cinema. For Tony Williams, 58, a retired Head of Security and Debbie Dowsett, 42, a hairdresser and beautician from Hainault in Essex, their idea of a shared hobby is having affairs with other people. The couple, who have been together for the last 17 years, are both signed up to different marital affair dating websites and have relationships with several men and women, while all the while sharing a home and a life together. The couple even share their BED with their dates. Scroll down for video . Tony Williams, 58, Debbie Dowsett, 42, (pictured) have been together for 17 years but both have affairs through dating sites like Illicit Encounters . Debbie joined the website Illicit Encounters and Tony signed up to a separate site four years ago, after they decided to give an open relationship a go to spice up their own. The couple were completely open with each other from the start, taking each other’s profile pictures and recommending what to say in their information section. Since then, they have surfed each site together on a daily basis, commenting on the different men or women available. Tony told FEMAIL: ‘We go through each other's websites on the laptop together about once a day because we don't hide anything. ‘Occasionally Debbie says no to a man and I’ll ask why not, just because I'm curious about what's alright with A but not B. ‘But we don't vet. Debbie is free to choose what she likes and I'm free to choose what I like.’ Debbie is signed up to the website Illicit Encounters . From that moment on though, the way that they communicate on their individual websites is personal. In four years, they have both had several successes with the opposite sex. Tony has met up with roughly 15 women, with some extending to romances that last several months, others have been one night stands and a few have amounted to nothing at all. He said: ‘It all boils down to chemistry when you meet. Things have gone further with five or six people for me over the years. ‘I've probably met about 15 over the last four years but obviously don't seen them all long term - my longest friendship has gone on for seven months. ‘It's fairly regular, maybe once a month that you go and meet someone, or every two weeks maybe.’ Debbie has had a similar success rate with the men she has met, although she has continued to have a relationship with around six of them for roughly the last two years. She said: ‘There’s about five or six that I see on a permanent basis and one that I see every ten days or so. ‘The others I see when they can get off work, so about every couple of weeks and one of them about every four weeks. ‘They've all be around for about two years.’ Debbie and Tony on holiday as a young couple in 2001 . The couple have certain ground rules in place, like contacting the other if they are going to go home with a person for the first time, but they don’t tend to discuss the more intimate areas of each meet-up. Tony said: ‘I don't need to know what's going on - Debbie doesn't ask me the intimate details and I don't ask her the intimate details. ‘But if she's going to meet someone or I am, the other one always knows who or where and if a first date turns into an “I'm going home with them,” we always text the other person to let them know - it's a safety factor.’ It isn’t just a safety factor though, the strict rules about openness are also in place so that the trust between them never breaks down. Tony said: ‘There's one absolute golden rule - no cheating. ‘I had a wife that cheated on me and in my opinion, what breaks up the relationship isn't that you cheated but that you lied to me. I can't trust you then. ‘But at the end of the day, sex is sex. If you're not lying to me and hiding things behind my back then you're not breaking down the essential part of being a couple, which is the trust between you.’ Debbie says that she likes to meet up with men who share her interest in visiting museums . Tony and Debbie are so unfazed about the fact that each other are having intimate relationships with other members of the opposite sex, that they aren’t even bothered if one brings a date home to use their marital bed if the other is away from home. Tony said: ‘If Debbie's not at home then the woman I’m with can come back to the house, or most of the time that Debbie is there, we go back to the woman’s house, or we book into a hotel. ‘We're both happy with that. The same applies to Debbie as well, if she knows I'm not at home. ‘And we only have one bedroom, so we'd use that. ‘The way we both see it is, if you're in this particular lifestyle then there isn't that same sanctity about the bedroom and the bed that A and B have when they're married to each other and don't sleep with anyone else. 'That removes the need to worry about, “who was in my bed last night?” Or, “whose bed was he in last night if he didn't come home?”’ The couple are also open to the other one bringing a date home if they are interested in having sex with both of them. Tony said: ‘There is flexibility in that rule. ‘Occasionally things develop into threesomes, so if that's where you seem to be heading with your internet talk, then obviously the fact that the other one is at home doesn't make any difference. ‘That has happened to both of us when we’ve been on dates. ‘There's a lot more people into threesomes, foursomes or wife-swapping than you might think. ‘We’re open to threesomes or foursomes. ‘Threesomes we don't mind either way - we can have two women and me or we can have two men and Debbie, we've done both.’ Tony enjoys walks in the countryside, so often meets up with women who share this interest . But although Debbie and Tony clearly sleep with the women and men that they are dating, it is in no way just about sex. They share common interests and hobbies with the people they meet up with and their dates often revolve around these. Debbie said: ‘I go for men with the same interests as me. ‘The difference between me and Tony is I like going to museums and things, whereas if Tony's been and seen them once, he doesn't like going back and seeing them again. ‘I'm one of these people who goes back a lot - I go to the science museum as often as I can get up there. ‘The man who I see every ten days, he works in central London, so we go out there and go to the V&A museum and things like that, more cultural things.’ Tony meanwhile, is attracted to women who enjoy watching sport and who like the countryside, but also trips to the local cinema. He said: ‘One woman who used to meet once every fortnight - we went out to things like the cinema, theatre and for meals. ‘It was convenient because in that instance, her husband went away for a week every other week on business, so she had that time to do other things. ‘Her husband didn't know as far as I was aware.’ Debbie and Tony often surf the dating sites together (Picture posed by models) He continued: ‘I find that I look for someone with interests that Debbie doesn't have, like certain sports, because Debbie and I only have one sport in common - rugby union. ‘She also isn't interested in wandering in the countryside just because it's there, whereas I'm quite happy to drive to the middle of the countryside and just walk for miles. ‘I also go for women with a smaller dress size to Debbie, I mean she's not fat, don't get me wrong, she's a size 16. ‘But I'll look for a 12 or 14, different colour hair and length of hair. ‘Just so I've got something different to what I have at home, because otherwise you might as well be at home. ‘If they don't look different or have a different interests, what is the point of being there.’ While this arrangement might seem strange for some, Debbie and Tony are perfectly happy with it and both state that they don’t have feelings of jealousy when the other is out on a date. Tony said: ‘It's not that I don’t love Debbie, we have just found that it does improve our relationship - it makes you much more open with each other. ‘You're much more honest about the things you like and don't like and what you're doing. You don't keep secrets. ‘One day, when it stops working for one or the other, we won't do it anymore. ‘We always said no matter what happens, you can't end up splitting up because of it.’
Tony Williams, 58, Debbie Dowsett, 42, have affairs through dating sites . The couple from Hainault, London, even surf the websites with each other . They've had relationships with other men and women for up to two years .