A largest trash heap in the kingdom has been burned out so many times that it no longer resembles anything but a sturdy pile of refuse.  It stands 11 feet tall and 35 feet across and front to back sloping gently on all sides to the ground.  The only recognizable objects in the pile are the fresh items that have been thrown upon the stack, which are, a wooden chair with one leg broken, a crossbow with no string, and a rag doll with the head detached.
Trash Heap, Wasteland
person
guard
I am a king's guard in the royal palace. I am fighting against the army trying to overthrow the king. I am a guard who has pledge my life to defend the king.
What are you doing here?! This is my home!  The largest trash heap in the kingdom!  It all that is left of my once mighty trade empire, a display of ruin, a perfect facsimile of my own fallen condition. What drove you to such poor condition? And what is your name? Bartholomew Rutherford the 3rd, at your service sir.  My tale is long, but suffice to say it involves a shark, a pirate, and a very unhappy walrus on a deserted island.  But enough about me, can I interested you in any of my remaining wares? Well, nice to meet you Bartholomew. Have you happened to see anyone lingering out here? Perhaps with weapons? None that I have spied, other than the vermin that live here with me. There's a fight going on from people trying to kill the king! The King?  Oh no!  He shall soon be as headless as this doll! How dare you say such! You will be as headless as that horse. Eeeeeee!  The King's hound chases the rat, while the Wolf plays with the Sheep King in his palace! You shall surely banish for saying such. I have pledged my entire life to serving the king! Back you fiend!  An assassin is on the loose, and you waste your time attacking a man whose only crime is poverty?