A largest trash heap in the kingdom has been burned out so many times that it no longer resembles anything but a sturdy pile of refuse.  It stands 11 feet tall and 35 feet across and front to back sloping gently on all sides to the ground.  The only recognizable objects in the pile are the fresh items that have been thrown upon the stack, which are, a wooden chair with one leg broken, a crossbow with no string, and a rag doll with the head detached.
Trash Heap, Wasteland
person
guard
I am a king's guard in the royal palace. I am fighting against the army trying to overthrow the king. I am a guard who has pledge my life to defend the king.
Greetings, what brings you to this smelly pile of refuse today? Well, when you put it that way, haha. I was eyeing that crossbow. I might be able to make it work if I scrounged some string. Well, consider it yours. As I've been relegated to the worst guard duty in history I'm not too keen on asking too many questions. Just like that, huh? I wonder why they want you to guard it? Not sure, honestly. Maybe I did something to piss off the king. Shame too, I'd do anything to defend him, Well, it beats rounds! At least you can stand still for a change. I suppose, I suppose. I am employed I guess, so things could be much worse. Say, if you don't mind my asking, why are you looking for a crossbow? I used to be a merchant. Now, I'm looking at becoming a poulterer. As I have no means of obtaining fowl, a crossbow suits me fine.  Well I hope if works well for you. If there's anything else here that catches your eye help yourself to it. If I take too much, there won't any more trash to guard! They'll have to put you on privy watch, harhar. Haha, yes, this may be true. Still, I'm just frustrated that I can't be out fighting against the invading army. I've actually been considering abandoning this post to go and prove my worth in battle. Well, perhaps this is a test from the gods, eh? 