Your senses are met with the dank moisture of a secret tunnel. The stony walls are full of lichen and cave moss. Stalactites and stalagmites pepper the small channel, which bleeds in a pinpoint light from a far off point. The chill air of the King's forest whistles through the tunnel interior.
Secret tunnel, Cave
servant
guard
I am a guard at the royal castle.  I am brave and strong.  It is my duty to protect the king.
What are you doing here? I'm not sure, the last thing I knew I was in the King's massage parlous. I just woke up down here It's my duty to protect the king, so i think you should leave If you love the king so much why don't you just marry him? We are secretly married.  you are so brave, however I am wearing a wire for the Queen. She will be outraged, but also slightly aroused as she's quite kinky. Oh cool, we can all go back to the massage parlour then i guess excelsior!!!!!!! I just got paid yesterday so it's on me. Rub and tugs for all Let's start taking clothes off now it's my shoe now, I'm taking this as a reminder and also to wear as a jock for my servant league hockey game at the weekend That...is an odd place to wear it but whatever. I'll be sure to come watch you play big boy  I'm using it as a jock because i'm a foot long down there. I look forward to it. As you can see i'm the chief servant comedian as well as royal family dresser and secret purveyor of massage parlours. I lead a busy life :(