A nondescript square building that has room for two guards that change shift every 8 hours.  There's a fireplace inside, food enough for a week and a large earthenware jug of water for cooking and drinking.
Guard Shack, Outside Tower
calf
guard
I am a guard who almost was executed. I make sure to always be around someone else. I practice with my sword every day.
Ah this fireplace sure is nice, isn't it? Long day? You're talking to a calf. Oh no! Am I the only human in here? What happened to the other guards? You're talkin' to one. A witch came by and zapped me. Oh good, you know I almost got executed once, and I make sure I am always around someone else, so if you used to be a guard, thats perfect. WAIT! a witch did this to you? Yeah, and if you jump on my back, maybe we can catch her! Okay! I'm kinda scared of heights though. Here we go! Oh wait, the door is closed and I don't have hands. You know, calfs sure are needy. Can you milk me a little too? I'm sorry, you'll have to find someone else, I'm lactose intolerant.  I don't need you to squirt it into your mouth, weirdo.