SEEKING FREELANCER / SEEKING WORK
Location: Provo, Utah
Profit from my poor planning!  Let me be your dorky subordinate freelancer that you contract the crappy stuff out to!
You: an experienced freelancer with more work than you can handle --- or maybe you just have an eye for arbitrage.
Me:  a better programmer than businessman.  I'm going back to school in April and need to pay for tuition.  A lot of my problems would disappear with a good amount of work at $20-30/hr (1099) for a few months (or possibly longer; let's talk).
"He quoted his rate first, which is stupidly low, and he wasted my time telling me about his problems?  This guy is like the worst freelancer ever."  Yes!  Now's your chance to nab that sweet sweet middleman money!
"No one could be that desperate."  Dude, I wrote this last night upon returning from a 10PM - 2AM janitor job.  Trust me, I am good to go.
"OK, well, can you, like, actually do anything?"
Yes!  My main focus has been Clojurescript/React SPA's.  My last gig was for a venture-backed SF startup.  Before that I spent a couple years slaving away on a cross between Excel and a Lisp environment, rendered in SVG by CLJS.  I've also done work in Ruby and Python, though I'm weaker on their standard libraries.  Do I mind boning up on anything, unpaid?  No.  Remember: janitor.
"I mean, we're talking remote here, are you going to be a giant headache?"  No.  I have experience working remote, probably just like you, and know the pitfalls.
"What's the catch?"  In the end, of course, you'll have to judge for yourself!  From my side though:  I'm looking to satisfice on deal flow, rather than optimize on rate.
  Hopefully we can help each other.
Tab over to your email (c'mon, you know you have it open), and send any sort of message to REDACTED_EMAIL.  It will automatically respond with my name, phone number, and actual email.  Let's talk!