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  Self: "I've been wanting to post about this for a while but haven't.  I'm 26 almost 27 working and making decent money.  My parents are older and owe 200k on their house, neither have jobs.  both drawing social security money.  It got up to 200k because my mom was in debt w credit cards several times in large amounts and my dad had to pay it off.  She is terrible with money.  \n\nMy parents have been borrowing money from me since sometime last year.  It started out at just $200 a pay period to help my Dad pay for the Verizon bill, car insurance, health insurance plan (that I am still on for a few more months).  Then when 2016 rolled around he (my dad) basically told me he needed $800 a month (400 per pay period) and essentially started taking it without question.  (he has access to my bank acct)  He did talk to me beforehand about it and I agreed to it, so i wasn't upset or anything, but it happened really fast.\n\nMy parents have paid for everything I've ever done and had up until I started working 3 years ago.  My tuition in school was waived because my Mom worked for my college.  My dad is retired and too old to get a job.  My mom is 63ish and won't swallow her pride and take a job at a retail store or something similar.   I've given my dad $4800 this year on top of a few other times where he unexpectedly needed money.  and my mom a few times as well.  So probably $6k borrowed altogether.   I love my parents and want to help them but this situation really sucks.   They've done a lot for me so I feel like I owe them this.  And I also feel selfish because I am able to get by still, but I'm not able to buy a lot of the things I want.   But I'm still living comfortably and eating and doing fun things on the weekend.  So it's not completely draining me, but there are things i want to buy and do that I can't currently.  (a car for instance. Im currently driving their car though so I dont have a payment which is nice.  I've put roughly $1k into the car, tires)\n\nI'm also frustrated with my Dad for seeing this situation coming a few years ago and not doing more to prepare, or being more proactive.  \n\nThey are too old and stubborn to sell their house (roughly 4k square foot, 6 acres of land).  There is more to the story but I just thought I'd try to get the general facts out here and get some advice.   I may edit and add in more detail if needed.  \n\nBut essentially I am just looking for advice.   Should I change my direct deposit to an account they can't access and just cut them off cold turkey?  I think they would have to file bankruptcy to get by (something I don't really understand).  Has anyone been in a similar situation before?  Everyone I've talked to about this has told me to take my finances into my own hands, and to stop giving them so much money.   Another family member advised that $100 or $200 per month here or there was one thing, but taking roughly 1/4 of my take home is a lot."
  clearwaterrev (clearwaterrev): "You should definitely get a new bank account your parents don't have access to.  If they want you to give them money, you can agree to transfer money from your account to theirs. \n\n\nDo you still live at home? I don't find it very unreasonable for you to pitch in towards the house payment, utilities, and groceries if you're living with your parents.  You should agree on some fair amount for rent, and only give them that much.  If and when you decide to move out and get your own place, make sure they understand that you will no longer be paying rent or giving them money each month. \n\n\nI recommend you try to talk to your parents about budgeting.  If they're receptive, help them come up with a list of all their expenses, and then see where they can make some cuts so their monthly spending is less than their income from social security.  \n\nUnless they have lots of non-mortgage debt, I don't know why you're thinking bankruptcy.  Bankruptcy isn't going to help your parents learn to live below their means. They need to learn how to manage their finances. "
  Self: "No, I'm in an apartment in another city about an hour away from them.   thanks for the reply"
  