conversation: User (Throwusawaypickusup): "I'm 24, married, and we have 2 small kids (and my husband has an older child we have shared custody over).\n\nBackstory: we lived on our own, in a fantastic town in the SF bay area. My husband worked and I stayed home with our child. After I had our baby my mom offered for us to live with her and my dad (she's a childcare professional) and we could stay until the kids were school age or we wanted to move. My husband could quit his job and stay at home, and I could go to work (I have more earning potential).\n\nWe agreed and everything went downhill from there. My husband has stayed home but my mom has been no help. And things are hostile. We've been paying $500 for rent. My mom has given us 30 days to get out. As far as I can see, we can't live off my income. And my husband can't get his old job back (it came with a free apartment).\n\nI net $3,300/mo. Expenses right now are: \nCar insurance $73\nCar payment $200 (we own 2 cars. One is paid off. This payment goes thru Aug next year)\nGas $150\nPhones $110 (2 mobiles)\nStudent loans $158\nFood $650\nPersonal care $100 (toiletries, etc)\nMisc expenses $300 (unexpected things like popped tires etc)\nFun money $250 (for all of us. Clothes, books, etc...anything that doesn't fall into those other categories and we need or want)\nAnd rent currently $500.\n\nSo I net $3,300, budget less current rent is $1,991, which means I'm working with $1,309 for rent. In the bay area. \n\nIf I sell off a car I can afford a 1 bedroom maybe, but will I run into occupancy issues with 4 of us? The last thing I need is an eviction. I feel like my  budget is good but any suggestions? I'm feeling like we're going to end up living in a van. If my husband works it doesn't cover daycare costs so that's a bust. I don't make so little that we qualify for assistance I don't think. I'm not sure where to go from here. And we can't leave California because of the custody with husbands child.\n\n\n\n\n\nEDIT: I think what we're going to do at this point is have my husband find a job in his field, property management. If we can get work schedules to line up we will only need 2 days of daycare, but won't really see each other except nights. Usually rent is heavily discounted (20%) so we should be able to make it work. Kind of breaks my heart to not be able to homeschool as we have an amazing homeschool group, but I think this makes the most sense.\n\nThanks for knocking some sense into us. I'm also going to subscribe to some of those food subreddits and do my best to get the food bill down. I also like the idea of changing phone subscribers...we use att right now.\n\nAlso, check my comment history regarding my mom. I feel like my post came off as feeling entitled to help just because, but that's not really the case."
  Self: "Hate being an ass, but you might want to consider getting a new job in a less expensive area. 40k isn't enough to support 1 person let alone 4.5 in San Francisco quite frankly. Your husband needs to get a job either on the weekends or a new full time one. You could look into getting jobs with different hours so one of you is always home with the kids. Sometimes 1 person works first and the other works 2nd or 3rd shift and it helps save on childcare costs as sitter or daycare is only needed for a small time frame or not at all."
  landoindisguise (landoindisguise): "I'm surprised this isn't higher. I suppose moving might be tough if /u/Throwusawaypickusup doesn't have much of a savings cushion, but it doesn't sound like their job is particularly great, and the Bay area is *absurdly* expensive. (I'm not from CA but I looked into moving there once at my boss's request - took one look at cost of living and housing prices and told my boss he'd need to double my salary to even consider it). There are definitely cheaper places to live in CA, and with young kids now is probably the ideal time for OP to move - the older they get, the tougher it's going to be for them emotionally.\n\nTo OP: I realize "hey, move your whole family and find a new job!" is MUCH easier said than done, especially within your timeframe. But I'd suggest you at least consider it. You're making $40,000 a year; I don't think this is enough to support a family of four in the Bay Area, so even if you figure out a way out of the current situation I think you're going to keep finding yourself in similar situations as long as you continue living there because the cost of living is so high."
  dude_himself (dude_himself): "Kansas is paying folks to move there and giving them a property!"
  landoindisguise (landoindisguise): "IIRC op said they have to stay in CA due to custody issues though.\n\n(Also, really? How much are they paying/how much property?)"
  ReheatedPants (ReheatedPants): "Custody agreement? Why aren't they getting child support then?"
  