conversation: User (lowtohigh2018): "Yo r/personalfinance,\n\nThere’s a lot to unpack here, so I thought I’d ask for some guidance. \n\nI’m a recent grad [22M] who got a pretty stellar first job — here are the details:\n\n- $100k Salary.\n- $30k Bonus (20 signing + 10 relocation).\n- $65k in RSUs that completely vest after 3 years.  (Wtf does this mean?)\n- 401K: Company matches up to 4% at a rate of 50%, for a maximum company match of 2% of eligible pay. (Wtf does this mean).\n\nMy problem is, I come from a poor family, so i have no clue how to set up a viable budget that helps me save for myself and give some $$ to the rents. \n\nMore info:\n- I recently signed a lease for work that’ll set me back $2k a month.\n\n- I got about $16K in student loans that I think I’m gonna use my bonus to pay off.\n\n- I’m about $2K in debt on my credit cards, not too worried bout it tho. \n\n- Fam is about $17k in credit card debt at about 24% APR; I promised pops I’d help pay it off. \n\n- Fam is looking to buy a home within the next year or so and wants me to help. \n\nWhere do I start? Please help :)\n\n[EDIT]\n\nY’all are awesome. Here’s a little clarification on the parent debt/house stuff:  \n\nA majority of that $17k in debt is a result of a scam that my immigrant parents fell for. The rest is a consequence of no savings and tough times this past year — I got three other younger siblings who still live at home too.\n\nThe house thing isn’t as nefarious as reddit makes it seem. When I lived at home, parents got government aide for housing (Sec. 8). This year they’re eligible to buy a house with help from that program. I don’t have specific details on how it all works, but I think the gov helps out with payments for a few years and they can put some more money on top of that for a better place.\n\nThe area that they live in now is appreciating pretty rapidly, so now might be the time to pull that trigger, assuming the slowdown doesn’t spread nationwide\n\nAlso:\n\nI’m seeing a lot of emergency fund first/max out 401k first /pay liabilities first comments. Should I just #TrustTheFlowchart? "
  Self: "Put your oxygen mask on before you help your parents. Pay your cc then student loans. The cc has a higher interest rate more likely. \n\nMake helping your parents debt conditional. I know people who keep getting into the debt. Debt is a symptom of a larger problem. Learn how to manage your money by reading posts and side bar. Reading books too like personal finance for dummies or I will teach you to be rich. \n\nOnce you figure out your finances teach your family. Poverty is a hard cycle to break. If they can’t increase their income, then cut expenses. Help them budget. \n\nOnly once they are trying to pay off their debt, then you can match their payments. You could also try matching their savings for a down payment too if it fits in your budget. As others said, do not co-sign the loan. \n\nYou’re a good kid and can make it. Proud of you for trying to start on the right foot. "
  ominousmustard (ominousmustard): "Chris Rock has a great bit about this in his latest special. No one wants to stop for you if your car breaks down on the road and you’re just standing there asking for help. But the second you throw the car in neutral and start pushing it yourself, loads of people stop their own cars and help you push. Don’t help your family out until you see a behavior that shows they’re trying to help themselves. \n\nEDIT: adding advice below—-\nAnd don’t let them claim you as a dependent on tax returns!"
  