conversation: User (UniqueIntroduction): "Let me start by stating that I'm a completely new to investing. And I basically have cash sitting in my bank account doing nothing, so I was told by a co-worker to start a Roth IRA, and here I am. I'm currently 26 years of age and I plan to retire at 50, with a state pension. \n\nMy question is, how in the hell do I invest this money now? I'd like to be 100% stocks, or possible 90% stocks, and 10% bonds. But how does this work? I have a little pie chart in my Vanguard, but I have no idea how to invest the money, or what I'm supposed to invest into.\n\nLike I said, I'm a complete noobie, so any help would be appreciated."
  Self: "Buy a total market index fund"
  