conversation: User (BeastCoastOverdose): "I think this idea of "jiayong" - or family expenses - is something unique to Asian culture, where once fresh grads find a full time job, they are expected to "give back" to their parents, usually in the form of monthly payments. I landed my first "real job" several months back and was basically told by my mom to start giving her this "jiayong". I have been giving them 500 a month and I look at that as helping with the bills (since I'm still living at home for "free").  Since my only other obligation is ~$8k in student loans, I think I'm still OK financially. But I've been thinking about long term when I move out and start having my own bills to pay, what then? Besides "manning up and realizing it's my own money so tell them to eff off". Does anyone else have a similar experience? How do you deal with it?"
  Self: "My mom passed away when I was 20 (37 now) and my dad remarried when I was 23.  We had a strained relationship for a few years as his wife is a typical asian gold digger.   My parents were hard working, and conservative with money.  She's the kind that would rather have a $10,000 bag with $10 in it as opposed to a $10 bag with $10,000 in it.\n\nThat said, any obligation I felt I had, died a long time ago.    "
  corgidot (corgidot): "I am in a very similar situation. I lost my mother 5 years ago and my father remarried 2 years ago. His new wife is much younger and expects only the nicest things. She would rather spend money to show everyone that she's well off than actually have money in her bank account. My father bought her a brand new car after his wife learned to drive. I know he can't afford it, but he chose to spend his hard earned money on his wife, rather than save for his retirement. \n\nThis thread made me feel guilty for not helping my father, but I'm glad I read your post. Like you, I don't feel any obligation to help him. I know any money I give him will end up in his wife's hand. "
  