conversation: User (mymomsaidicould69): "My fiance and I will be making a combined $105,000/year before taxes. I usually pull in about $1800/month, and my fiance will be starting his new job this month, so we aren't totally sure what his gross monthly income would be. We found an apartment we really like for $1700/month in an area we love and is close to where we work. Would this be a bad idea? We crunched some numbers, and definitely think we can do it. \n\nOur only other bills are $300/month in student debt and $350/month in car payments (we both lease)"
  Self: "I’m just gonna offer some advice from a newlywed’s perspective, since I was in your shoes just a few years ago. :)\n\nOur combined income at that point was only about 75% of yours. But the rest of our circumstances were similar, student debt and such. According to the 30% rule, we *could have* afforded at apartment around 1,200 to 1,300. But we decided to suck up our pride a little and we found a great deal on a place for about 950. It didn’t have nice appliances or fancy countertops. It was modest but in a safe area.\n\nDuring that first year of marriage, we were able to aggressively pay off over 20k in debt and learn how to enjoy life together on a budget. It was amazing for our marriage. We learned to find happiness in each other and just appreciate the little things. Financial stress is TERRIBLE for marriages, especially new ones! I’m not sure if you have already combined your finances or not. But if you haven’t yet, combining finances is a whole new learning experience. I wouldn’t risk maxing out your budget and potentially putting yourselves in that position of financial stress. I think when you’re newly married (not to mention caught up in the extravagance of planning a wedding), you feel a lot of pressure to seem all grown up and successful and “start off on the right foot”. I watched a few of my newlywed friends fall into that trap. And they endured a lot of stress. (Most of them also rarely even invited friends over to their fancy-schmancy apartment, because they were too busy working all the time to be able to afford it!)\n\nBut the first year or two of marriage is just the beginning! I highly recommend considering something a little more modest so you could work toward paying off debt faster. Then in a few years, you’ll be so proud of what you’ve accomplished. My husband and I are going into our third year of marriage. We just bought a house, are completely debt free, and adopted a puppy. This year is the best one yet and it’s just going to keep getting better. (And by the way, those friends who could barely afford rent three years ago? Their fortunes haven’t improved much)\n\nSo no matter how you crunch the numbers to prove you could afford it, just think about those things. Think about what is most important in your first year of marriage. A crummy newlywed apartment is one of those things you two will look back on and laugh at for the rest of your lives. A crummy first year of marriage is not!\n\nSorry for the novel! I get really passionate about this stuff :)"
  User (mymomsaidicould69): "Thank you for your perspective!! Sorry it took me so long to reply, busy weekend!\n\nAnyway, I really appreciate this, coming from someone who's been there!"
  