How to Stop Bullies
Stopping a bully is hard but try to stay calm and start by clearly telling them to stop. If they continue to harass you, walk away from the situation if you can to distance yourself from the bully. Try to be around other people, since bullies often target people who are on their own. You can also avoid places where the bully usually hangs out to give yourself some space from them. If they still don't stop, don't be afraid to tell someone you trust, like a teacher, parent, or counselor, who can help you deal with the bully.
Determine if it’s bullying. There isn't just one type of bullying—there are verbal, social and physical forms of the aggressive behavior known as bullying. But what they all have in common is that they are unwanted and repeated (rather than one time) behaviors. Verbal bullying includes teasing, name calling, inappropriate sexual comments or jokes, taunts and threats. Social bullying refers to attempts to hurt someone's reputation or relationships and can include spreading rumors about someone, telling others not to associate with that person or purposefully embarrassing someone in public. It's important to note that verbal and social bullying don't always happen in person. Cyberbullying is a type of bullying that happens through email, social media sites, phone messages, or in any other digital space. Cyberbullying can include threatening messages, online harassment, excessive texts or emails, embarrassing images or information posted on social media, and other verbal or social bullying tactics used in a digital space. Physical bullying happens when someone hurts another person's body or possessions. Physical bullying includes spitting, hitting, pushing, kicking, punching, tripping and pulling as well as stealing or destroying someone's property. Keep in mind that all of these behaviors can happen and not be considered bullying. If a mean or aggressive behavior like hitting or name calling happens once, it isn't technically considered bullying. But if it happens repeatedly, or it becomes obvious that the perpetrator intends to continue with the unwanted behavior, it can be called bullying. Stay calm and tell the person to stop. Look at the person who is bullying you and in a calm, clear voice tell him or her to stop, that his or her actions are inappropriate, or that he or she is being disrespectful. If you're good at joking with others and don't feel threatened, you could also try to laugh off the comments or jokingly say something back. A humorous response can disarm the bully by throwing him or her off guard. If the bullying is happening online it's best not to respond to the messages. If you know who the person is and feel comfortable telling them to stop, wait until you're face to face to do so. Walk away. If you don't feel safe or comfortable speaking up, simply walk away. Remove yourself from the situation and go to a safe space where there are other people around whom you trust. If you're dealing with a cyberbully, stop responding to the bully's messages or log out of the site. To further remove yourself from the situation, block the bully so he or she can't contact you directly. Talk to someone you trust. Go to an adult, a family member, a teacher, a colleague, someone you trust, and explain to them what happened. Talking to someone else can help you feel less afraid and alone and it can help you determine what you need to do next to prevent any further bullying. If you feel threatened or unsafe it's best to talk to someone who has authority over the bully and can intervene on your behalf, such as a teacher, boss, or police officer. Think of ways to keep yourself safe, emotionally and physically. It's not up to you to fight back and you should always talk about what you've experienced with someone you trust. There are, however, some things you can do to take control and help yourself: If possible, avoid the person who is bullying you or locations where the bullying happens. Surround yourself with other people, especially if the bullying tends to happen when you are alone. If the bullying is happening online, consider changing your screen name or other online identifiers, updating your privacy settings so only friends and family can contact you, or opening a new account. Remove information like your address or phone number from your online profiles and limit the amount of personal information you share in the future. Don't give bullies additional ways to get in contact with you. Document when and where the bullying happens and what is done to you. It helps to have documentation of what happened if the bullying persists and further steps need to be taken by an authority figure. If the bullying is happening online, save all messages and emails and take screenshots of any social media posts. Don't ignore it and don't tell the victim to “just ignore it” either. Never assume a situation that involves aggression of any sort to be harmless; if someone feels threatened the situation must be taken seriously, regardless of whether it's verbal teasing or threats of physical harm. Tell the victim you support him or her. People who are bullied often feel isolated and unsupported. Make sure to tell the person who is being bullied that you are there for him or her. Ask the victim what would make him or her feel safe. Assure the person that bullying is never his/her fault. Consider role-playing under safe conditions to help the victim learn safe ways to respond to bullies. Make sure everyone is safe before you intervene. If there is a weapon involved, serious threats of physical harm, or you feel unsafe in the situation get help by calling the police or other authorities before stepping in. Intervene immediately (if you feel safe) but stay calm. It's best to intervene as early as possible, before a situation has time to escalate. Get help from another person not involved in the situation if possible. It's important to note that certain groups are more at risk than others. When dealing with bullying targeted towards lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender youth (LGBT), youth with disabilities or special needs, or bullying based on race, ethnicity or religion, special considerations should be taken. You can find information specific to these groups here. Separate those involved. Get the facts and sort out what happened only once you've separated those involved and can talk to them individually. Discussing what happened with both parties in the same room may lead to the bullying victim feeling overwhelmed or embarrassed. The bully may also intimidate or threaten his or her victims so that they do not feel safe talking about what has happened. Talking with each person separately will help reduce this possibility. Get school administrators involved. All schools have policies for dealing with bullies and many have implemented cyberbullying strategies as well. It's the job of school administration to resolve these issues but first they have to know they're going on. Get help from a professional counselor or therapist. Victims of bullying can suffer long-term emotional and psychological effects. Seeking professional help early on can help mitigate these effects. Older children and teens often try to deal with the emotional consequences of bullying on their own, which can lead to depression and anxiety disorders. If an older child or teen becomes withdrawn, or shows signs of depression or anxiety, such as sudden changes in school performance, sleep patterns, diet, or a reluctance to take part in social activities, it is important to seek professional help. Consult with a social worker or counselor at your child's school or another mental health professional. Avoid telling a victim of bullying to just fight back. Bullying involves a perceived or actual imbalance of power – one person is bigger than the other, a group of people gang up on a single person, one person has higher status and control, etc. Fighting back can put victims at risk of more harm or leave them feeling to blame for the situation. Look out for warning signs of bullying. There are many indicators that can let you know if someone is being bullied or bullying others. Looking out for these signs will help you identify bullying and intervene early on. Signs that someone might be a victim of bullying: Injuries or bruises that a person can't, or is unwilling, to explain Lost, stolen or damaged personal property, such as torn clothing, broken glasses, stolen cell phone, etc. Sudden changes in interests or a sudden urge to avoid certain people or places Sudden changes in diet, self-esteem, sleeping, or other dramatic emotional or physical shifts Depression, self-destructive actions, or talk about harming one's self or others. If you or someone you know is in danger or is suicidal, don't wait. Get help now. Resources can be found here Signs that someone might be bullying others: The person has become increasingly aggressive, either physically or verbally Starts getting into frequent physical or verbal fights Associates with people who bully others Gets into trouble with authority figures frequently Can't take responsibility for his or her own actions and blames others for his or her problems If you notice any of these warning signs have a conversation with the person. Letting others know that bullying isn't acceptable and that you are there to help can give a victim of bullying the courage to speak up. Know who is most at risk of being bullied. Certain groups may be at higher risk of being bullied than others. It's especially important to pay attention to these groups and watch for signs of bullying. Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender (LGBT) youth Youth with disabilities Youth with special needs, either educational or physical Bullies may also target victims based on race, ethnicity or religion Dealing with bullying targeted at LGBT youth, youth with disabilities or special needs, or bullying based on race, ethnicity or religion necessitates extra considerations specific to the victim. Information on dealing with these specific situations can be found here. Know where bullying happens. Bullying often happens in places where supervision or outside observation is limited or absent, such as a school bus, a bathroom, etc. Make an effort to check in on these spaces periodically so bullies don't see them as easy places to attack others. If you are a parent, know where your kids are hanging out online. Be familiar with the platforms and devices they're using and ask to "friend" or "follow" them. If your child feels uncomfortable "friending" you, make sure s/he knows that s/he can always talk to you about issues s/he is experiencing online. Talk about bullying. Discuss what bullying is and ways to address it in your home, classroom, office, etc. Remind people that bullying is not acceptable behavior and there will be consequences for it. When people can identify bullying they are more likely to take action, so talk about it before it happens. Encourage others to talk to someone they trust if they are being bullied or know of someone else who is. Establish rules about safe and appropriate technology use. Discuss what sites kids can and cannot visit, and when and where technology can be used. Make a plan for safe ways to stand up against bullying for yourself and for others. Who would you talk to if you or someone else were being bullied? What would your first response be? How would this change depending on where you were? Model respect and kindness. Respond to others with respect and kindness, even when you're dealing with a bully. Bystanders will see how you handle the situation and will learn from you. Responding to a bully in an aggressive manner only intensifies the situation and can continue the cycle of bullying. Create a community strategy. Find others who want to prevent and address bullying and discuss prevention and intervention strategies. Work together to keep an eye on places where bullying usually happens and watch out for signs of bullying in those around you. Learn about your school or office bullying policy and encourage others to get familiar with it as well. Let others know what to do and who to talk to if they're being bullied. Encourage others to speak up if they experience bullying themselves or see it happening to others. 
Determine if it’s bullying. Stay calm and tell the person to stop. Walk away. Talk to someone you trust. Think of ways to keep yourself safe, emotionally and physically. Don't ignore it and don't tell the victim to “just ignore it” either. Tell the victim you support him or her. Make sure everyone is safe before you intervene. Intervene immediately (if you feel safe) but stay calm. Separate those involved. Get school administrators involved. Get help from a professional counselor or therapist. Avoid telling a victim of bullying to just fight back. Look out for warning signs of bullying. Know who is most at risk of being bullied. Know where bullying happens. Talk about bullying. Model respect and kindness. Create a community strategy. 