(ROOT (S (S (NP (PRP I)) (VP (VBD was) (VP (VBG reading) (PP (IN about) (NP (NP (DT this) (NN jellyfish)) (SBAR (WHNP (WDT that)) (S (ADVP (RB never)) (VP (VBZ dies))))))))) (. .) (S (ADVP (RB Instead)) (NP (PRP it)) (VP (VP (VBZ reverts) (PP (IN to) (NP (PRP$ its) (JJ asexual) (NN state)))) (CC and) (ADVP (RB then)) (VP (VBZ grows) (PRT (RP up)) (ADVP (RB again))))) (. .)))
Leonard
I was reading about this jellyfish that never dies . Instead it reverts to its asexual state and then grows up again.
nsubj
Case=Nom|Number=Sing|Person=1|PronType=Prs
I
I
PRON
PRP
aux
Mood=Ind|Number=Sing|Person=3|Tense=Past|VerbForm=Fin
be
was
AUX
VBD
root
Tense=Pres|VerbForm=Part
read
reading
VERB
VBG
case
about
about
ADP
IN
det
Number=Sing|PronType=Dem
this
this
DET
DT
obl
Number=Sing
jellyfish
jellyfish
NOUN
NN
nsubj
PronType=Rel
that
that
PRON
WDT
advmod
never
never
ADV
RB
acl:relcl
Mood=Ind|Number=Sing|Person=3|Tense=Pres|VerbForm=Fin
die
dies
VERB
VBZ
punct
.
.
PUNCT
.
advmod
instead
Instead
ADV
RB
nsubj
Case=Nom|Gender=Neut|Number=Sing|Person=3|PronType=Prs
it
it
PRON
PRP
parataxis
Mood=Ind|Number=Sing|Person=3|Tense=Pres|VerbForm=Fin
revert
reverts
VERB
VBZ
case
to
to
ADP
IN
nmod:poss
Case=Gen|Gender=Neut|Number=Sing|Person=3|Poss=Yes|PronType=Prs
its
its
PRON
PRP$
amod
Degree=Pos
asexual
asexual
ADJ
JJ
obl
Number=Sing
state
state
NOUN
NN
cc
and
and
CCONJ
CC
advmod
PronType=Dem
then
then
ADV
RB
conj
Mood=Ind|Number=Sing|Person=3|Tense=Pres|VerbForm=Fin
grow
grows
VERB
VBZ
compound:prt
up
up
ADP
RP
advmod
again
again
ADV
RB
punct
.
.
PUNCT
.
(ROOT (S (NP (PRP We)) (VP (VBD thought) (SBAR (SBAR (S (NP (PRP$ my) (ADJP (NP (CD 90) (HYPH -) (NN year)) (HYPH -) (JJ old)) (NN grandfather)) (VP (VBD had) (VP (VBN reverted) (PP (IN to) (NP (DT an) (JJ asexual) (NN state)))))) (, ...) (CC but) (S (NP (NP (DT the) (NN lawsuit)) (PP (IN from) (NP (PRP$ his) (JJ Jamaican) (NN caregiver)))) (VP (VBD proved) (S (NP (PRP us) (DT all)) (ADJP (JJ wrong)))))))) (. .)))
Howard
We thought my 90 - year - old grandfather had reverted to an asexual state...but the lawsuit from his Jamaican caregiver proved us all wrong.
nsubj
Case=Nom|Number=Plur|Person=1|PronType=Prs
we
We
PRON
PRP
root
Mood=Ind|Number=Plur|Person=1|Tense=Past|VerbForm=Fin
think
thought
VERB
VBD
nmod:poss
Case=Gen|Number=Sing|Person=1|Poss=Yes|PronType=Prs
my
my
PRON
PRP$
nummod
NumForm=Digit|NumType=Card
90
90
NUM
CD
punct
-
-
PUNCT
HYPH
compound
Number=Sing
year
year
NOUN
NN
punct
-
-
PUNCT
HYPH
amod
Degree=Pos
old
old
ADJ
JJ
nsubj
Number=Sing
grandfather
grandfather
NOUN
NN
aux
Mood=Ind|Number=Sing|Person=3|Tense=Past|VerbForm=Fin
have
had
AUX
VBD
ccomp
Tense=Past|VerbForm=Part
revert
reverted
VERB
VBN
case
to
to
ADP
IN
det
Definite=Ind|PronType=Art
a
an
DET
DT
amod
Degree=Pos
asexual
asexual
ADJ
JJ
obl
Number=Sing
state
state
NOUN
NN
punct
...
...
PUNCT
,
cc
but
but
CCONJ
CC
det
Definite=Def|PronType=Art
the
the
DET
DT
nsubj
Number=Sing
lawsuit
lawsuit
NOUN
NN
case
from
from
ADP
IN
nmod:poss
Case=Gen|Gender=Masc|Number=Sing|Person=3|Poss=Yes|PronType=Prs
his
his
PRON
PRP$
amod
Degree=Pos
Jamaican
Jamaican
ADJ
JJ
nmod
Number=Sing
caregiver
caregiver
NOUN
NN
conj
Mood=Ind|Number=Sing|Person=3|Tense=Past|VerbForm=Fin
prove
proved
VERB
VBD
obj
Case=Acc|Number=Plur|Person=1|PronType=Prs
we
us
PRON
PRP
det
PronType=Tot
all
all
DET
DT
xcomp
Degree=Pos
wrong
wrong
ADJ
JJ
punct
.
.
PUNCT
.
(ROOT (S (NP (PRP$ My) (NN point)) (VP (VBZ is) (, ,) (S (NP (NN immortality)) (VP (VBZ is) (RB not) (NP (RB only) (DT a) (NN possibility)))) (, ,) (SBAR (S (NP (PRP it)) (VP (VBZ is) (ADJP (JJ real)))))) (. .)))
Leonard
My point is, immortality is not only a possibility, it is real.
nmod:poss
Case=Gen|Number=Sing|Person=1|Poss=Yes|PronType=Prs
my
My
PRON
PRP$
nsubj:outer
Number=Sing
point
point
NOUN
NN
cop
Mood=Ind|Number=Sing|Person=3|Tense=Pres|VerbForm=Fin
be
is
AUX
VBZ
punct
,
,
PUNCT
,
nsubj
Number=Sing
immortality
immortality
NOUN
NN
cop
Mood=Ind|Number=Sing|Person=3|Tense=Pres|VerbForm=Fin
be
is
AUX
VBZ
advmod
not
not
PART
RB
advmod
only
only
ADV
RB
det
Definite=Ind|PronType=Art
a
a
DET
DT
root
Number=Sing
possibility
possibility
NOUN
NN
punct
,
,
PUNCT
,
nsubj
Case=Nom|Gender=Neut|Number=Sing|Person=3|PronType=Prs
it
it
PRON
PRP
cop
Mood=Ind|Number=Sing|Person=3|Tense=Pres|VerbForm=Fin
be
is
AUX
VBZ
parataxis
Degree=Pos
real
real
ADJ
JJ
punct
.
.
PUNCT
.
(ROOT (SBAR (ADVP (RB Only)) (IN if) (S (NP (PRP you)) (VP (VBP 're) (NP (NP (DT this) (NN jellyfish)) (, ,) (SBAR (WHNP (WDT which)) (S (ADVP (RB periodically)) (, ...) (VP (VBZ reverts) (PP (IN to) (NP (NP (DT a) (NN mass)) (PP (IN of) (NP (JJ undifferentiated) (NN protoplasm))))))))))) (. .)))
Raj
Only if you're this jellyfish, which periodically...reverts to a mass of undifferentiated protoplasm.
advmod
only
Only
ADV
RB
mark
if
if
SCONJ
IN
nsubj
Case=Nom|Person=2|PronType=Prs
you
you
PRON
PRP
cop
Mood=Ind|Number=Sing|Person=2|Tense=Pres|VerbForm=Fin
be
're
AUX
VBP
det
Number=Sing|PronType=Dem
this
this
DET
DT
root
Number=Sing
jellyfish
jellyfish
NOUN
NN
punct
,
,
PUNCT
,
nsubj
PronType=Rel
which
which
PRON
WDT
advmod
periodically
periodically
ADV
RB
punct
...
...
PUNCT
,
acl:relcl
Mood=Ind|Number=Sing|Person=3|Tense=Pres|VerbForm=Fin
revert
reverts
VERB
VBZ
case
to
to
ADP
IN
det
Definite=Ind|PronType=Art
a
a
DET
DT
obl
Number=Sing
mass
mass
NOUN
NN
case
of
of
ADP
IN
amod
Degree=Pos
undifferentiated
undifferentiated
ADJ
JJ
nmod
Number=Sing
protoplasm
protoplasm
NOUN
NN
punct
.
.
PUNCT
.
(ROOT (S (SBAR (IN If) (S (NP (PRP I)) (VP (MD could) (VP (VB keep) (NP (PRP$ my) (NNP Gmail) (NN account)))))) (, ,) (NP (PRP I)) (VP (MD 'd) (VP (VB be) (ADJP (JJ okay) (PP (IN with) (NP (DT that)))))) (. .)))
Sheldon
If I could keep my Gmail account, I'd be okay with that.
mark
if
If
SCONJ
IN
nsubj
Case=Nom|Number=Sing|Person=1|PronType=Prs
I
I
PRON
PRP
aux
VerbForm=Fin
could
could
AUX
MD
advcl
VerbForm=Inf
keep
keep
VERB
VB
nmod:poss
Case=Gen|Number=Sing|Person=1|Poss=Yes|PronType=Prs
my
my
PRON
PRP$
compound
Number=Sing
Gmail
Gmail
PROPN
NNP
obj
Number=Sing
account
account
NOUN
NN
punct
,
,
PUNCT
,
nsubj
Case=Nom|Number=Sing|Person=1|PronType=Prs
I
I
PRON
PRP
aux
VerbForm=Fin
would
'd
AUX
MD
cop
VerbForm=Inf
be
be
AUX
VB
root
Degree=Pos
okay
okay
ADJ
JJ
case
with
with
ADP
IN
obl
Number=Sing|PronType=Dem
that
that
PRON
DT
punct
.
.
PUNCT
.
(ROOT (FRAG (INTJ (UH Hello)) (, ,) (NP (NNS fellas)) (. .)))
Barry
Hello, fellas.
root
hello
Hello
INTJ
UH
punct
,
,
PUNCT
,
vocative
Number=Plur
fella
fellas
NOUN
NNS
punct
.
.
PUNCT
.
(ROOT (INTJ (UH Hey) (. .)))
All
Hey.
root
hey
Hey
INTJ
UH
punct
.
.
PUNCT
.
(ROOT (S (S (VP (VB Remember) (SBAR (WHADVP (WRB when)) (S (NP (PRP we)) (VP (VBD were) (VP (VBG trying) (S (VP (TO to) (VP (VB figure) (PRT (RP out)) (WHNP (WHNP (WP what)) (S (NP (DT that) (NN smell)) (VP (VBG coming) (PP (IN from) (NP (NP (NNP Professor) (NNP Tupperman) (POS 's)) (NN office))))))))))))))) (VP (VBD was)) (. ?)))
Barry
Remember when we were trying to figure out what that smell coming from Professor Tupperman's office was?
root
Mood=Imp|VerbForm=Fin
remember
Remember
VERB
VB
obj
PronType=Int
when
when
ADV
WRB
nsubj
Case=Nom|Number=Plur|Person=1|PronType=Prs
we
we
PRON
PRP
aux
Mood=Ind|Number=Plur|Person=1|Tense=Past|VerbForm=Fin
be
were
AUX
VBD
advcl:relcl
Tense=Pres|VerbForm=Part
try
trying
VERB
VBG
mark
to
to
PART
TO
xcomp
VerbForm=Inf
figure
figure
VERB
VB
compound:prt
out
out
ADP
RP
obj
PronType=Rel
what
what
PRON
WP
det
Number=Sing|PronType=Dem
that
that
DET
DT
nsubj
Number=Sing
smell
smell
NOUN
NN
acl:relcl
VerbForm=Ger
come
coming
VERB
VBG
case
from
from
ADP
IN
nmod:poss
Number=Sing
Professor
Professor
PROPN
NNP
flat
Number=Sing
Tupperman
Tupperman
PROPN
NNP
case
's
's
PART
POS
obl
Number=Sing
office
office
NOUN
NN
cop
Mood=Ind|Number=Sing|Person=3|Tense=Past|VerbForm=Fin
be
was
AUX
VBD
punct
?
?
PUNCT
.
(ROOT (INTJ (UH Yeah) (. .)))
Howard
Yeah.
root
yeah
Yeah
INTJ
UH
punct
.
.
PUNCT
.
(ROOT (S (VP (VBZ Turns) (PRT (RP out)) (SBAR (S (NP (PRP it)) (VP (VBD was) (NP (NNP Tupperman) (. .) (JJ Dead)) (PP (IN at) (NP (PRP$ his) (NN desk))) (PP (IN for) (NP (CD two) (NNS weeks))))))) (. .)))
Barry
Turns out it was Tupperman . Dead at his desk for two weeks.
root
Mood=Ind|Number=Sing|Person=3|Tense=Pres|VerbForm=Fin
turn
Turns
VERB
VBZ
compound:prt
out
out
ADP
RP
nsubj
Case=Nom|Gender=Neut|Number=Sing|Person=3|PronType=Prs
it
it
PRON
PRP
cop
Mood=Ind|Number=Sing|Person=3|Tense=Past|VerbForm=Fin
be
was
AUX
VBD
ccomp
Number=Sing
Tupperman
Tupperman
PROPN
NNP
punct
.
.
PUNCT
.
parataxis
Degree=Pos
Dead
Dead
ADJ
JJ
case
at
at
ADP
IN
nmod:poss
Case=Gen|Gender=Masc|Number=Sing|Person=3|Poss=Yes|PronType=Prs
his
his
PRON
PRP$
obl
Number=Sing
desk
desk
NOUN
NN
case
for
for
ADP
IN
nummod
NumForm=Word|NumType=Card
two
two
NUM
CD
obl
Number=Plur
week
weeks
NOUN
NNS
punct
.
.
PUNCT
.
(ROOT (S (NP (DT That)) (VP (VBZ 's) (ADJP (JJ terrible))) (. .)))
Howard
That's terrible.
nsubj
Number=Sing|PronType=Dem
that
That
PRON
DT
cop
Mood=Ind|Number=Sing|Person=3|Tense=Pres|VerbForm=Fin
be
's
AUX
VBZ
root
Degree=Pos
terrible
terrible
ADJ
JJ
punct
.
.
PUNCT
.
(ROOT (FRAG (INTJ (UH Oh)) (, ,) (NP (PRP$ my) (NNP God)) (. .)))
Leonard
Oh, my God.
discourse
oh
Oh
INTJ
UH
punct
,
,
PUNCT
,
nmod:poss
Case=Gen|Number=Sing|Person=1|Poss=Yes|PronType=Prs
my
my
PRON
PRP$
root
Number=Sing
God
God
PROPN
NNP
punct
.
.
PUNCT
.
(ROOT (S (PP (IN In) (NP (NP (NN lieu)) (PP (IN of) (NP (NNS flowers))))) (, ,) (NP (DT the) (NN department) (NN chair)) (VP (VBZ is) (VP (VBG asking) (, ...) (SBAR (IN that) (S (NP (NN everyone)) (VP (VB donate) (NP (NP (DT a) (NN bottle)) (PP (IN of) (NP (NNP Febreze))))))))) (. .)))
Barry
In lieu of flowers, the department chair is asking...that everyone donate a bottle of Febreze.
case
in
In
ADP
IN
obl
Number=Sing
lieu
lieu
NOUN
NN
case
of
of
ADP
IN
nmod
Number=Plur
flower
flowers
NOUN
NNS
punct
,
,
PUNCT
,
det
Definite=Def|PronType=Art
the
the
DET
DT
compound
Number=Sing
department
department
NOUN
NN
nsubj
Number=Sing
chair
chair
NOUN
NN
aux
Mood=Ind|Number=Sing|Person=3|Tense=Pres|VerbForm=Fin
be
is
AUX
VBZ
root
Tense=Pres|VerbForm=Part
ask
asking
VERB
VBG
punct
...
...
PUNCT
,
mark
that
that
SCONJ
IN
nsubj
Number=Sing|PronType=Tot
everyone
everyone
PRON
NN
ccomp
VerbForm=Fin
donate
donate
VERB
VB
det
Definite=Ind|PronType=Art
a
a
DET
DT
obj
Number=Sing
bottle
bottle
NOUN
NN
case
of
of
ADP
IN
nmod
Number=Sing
Febreze
Febreze
PROPN
NNP
punct
.
.
PUNCT
.
(ROOT (S (SBAR (IN If) (S (NP (PRP we)) (VP (VBP 're) (VP (VBG going) (S (VP (TO to) (VP (VB change) (NP (DT the) (NN topic)) (PP (IN from) (NP (NN jellyfish)))))))))) (, ...) (NP (PRP I)) (VP (MD 'd) (VP (VB be) (ADJP (JJ okay) (PP (IN with) (NP (NP (NN brine) (NN shrimp)) (CC or) (NP (NP (DT the) (NN history)) (PP (IN of) (NP (DT the) (NN unicycle))))))))) (. .)))
Sheldon
If we're going to change the topic from jellyfish...I'd be okay with brine shrimp or the history of the unicycle.
mark
if
If
SCONJ
IN
nsubj
Case=Nom|Number=Plur|Person=1|PronType=Prs
we
we
PRON
PRP
aux
Mood=Ind|Number=Plur|Person=1|Tense=Pres|VerbForm=Fin
be
're
AUX
VBP
advcl
Tense=Pres|VerbForm=Part
go
going
VERB
VBG
mark
to
to
PART
TO
xcomp
VerbForm=Inf
change
change
VERB
VB
det
Definite=Def|PronType=Art
the
the
DET
DT
obj
Number=Sing
topic
topic
NOUN
NN
case
from
from
ADP
IN
obl
Number=Sing
jellyfish
jellyfish
NOUN
NN
punct
...
...
PUNCT
,
nsubj
Case=Nom|Number=Sing|Person=1|PronType=Prs
I
I
PRON
PRP
aux
VerbForm=Fin
would
'd
AUX
MD
cop
VerbForm=Inf
be
be
AUX
VB
root
Degree=Pos
okay
okay
ADJ
JJ
case
with
with
ADP
IN
compound
Number=Sing
brine
brine
NOUN
NN
obl
Number=Sing
shrimp
shrimp
NOUN
NN
cc
or
or
CCONJ
CC
det
Definite=Def|PronType=Art
the
the
DET
DT
conj
Number=Sing
history
history
NOUN
NN
case
of
of
ADP
IN
det
Definite=Def|PronType=Art
the
the
DET
DT
nmod
Number=Sing
unicycle
unicycle
NOUN
NN
punct
.
.
PUNCT
.
(ROOT (S (VP (VB Show) (NP (NP (DT a) (JJ little) (NN compassion--)) (SBAR (S (NP (DT a) (NN man)) (VP (VBD died)))))) (. .)))
Howard
Show a little compassion-- a man died.
root
VerbForm=Inf
show
Show
VERB
VB
det
Definite=Ind|PronType=Art
a
a
DET
DT
amod
Degree=Pos
little
little
ADJ
JJ
obj
Number=Sing
compassion--
compassion--
NOUN
NN
det
Definite=Ind|PronType=Art
a
a
DET
DT
nsubj
Number=Sing
man
man
NOUN
NN
acl:relcl
Mood=Ind|Number=Sing|Person=3|Tense=Past|VerbForm=Fin
die
died
VERB
VBD
punct
.
.
PUNCT
.
(ROOT (S (CC And) (VP (VBD turned) (PP (IN into) (NP (NP (DT a) (NN puddle)) (PP (IN of) (NP (NN goo) (. .))))) (ADVP (RB Now))) (, ,) (S (NP (PRP we)) (VP (MD can) (VP (CC either) (VP (VB sit) (ADVP (RB around))) (CC and) (VP (VB cry) (PP (IN over))) (NP (NP (NN spilt) (NN professor)) (, ...) (CC or) (S (NP (PRP we)) (VP (MD can) (VP (VB rejoice) (PP (IN in) (NP (DT the) (NN knowledge) (SBAR (IN that) (S (NP (DT a) (JJ tenured) (NN position)) (VP (VBZ has) (ADVP (RB just)) (VP (VBN opened) (PRT (RP up))))))))))) (. .))))) (NP (PRP I)) (VP (VBP choose) (S (VP (TO to) (VP (VB do) (NP (DT the) (NN latter)))))) (. .)))
Barry
And turned into a puddle of goo . Now, we can either sit around and cry over spilt professor...or we can rejoice in the knowledge that a tenured position has just opened up . I choose to do the latter.
cc
and
And
CCONJ
CC
root
Mood=Ind|Number=Sing|Person=1|Tense=Past|VerbForm=Fin
turn
turned
VERB
VBD
case
into
into
ADP
IN
det
Definite=Ind|PronType=Art
a
a
DET
DT
obl
Number=Sing
puddle
puddle
NOUN
NN
case
of
of
ADP
IN
nmod
Number=Sing
goo
goo
NOUN
NN
punct
.
.
PUNCT
.
advmod
now
Now
ADV
RB
punct
,
,
PUNCT
,
nsubj
Case=Nom|Number=Plur|Person=1|PronType=Prs
we
we
PRON
PRP
aux
VerbForm=Fin
can
can
AUX
MD
cc:preconj
either
either
CCONJ
CC
parataxis
VerbForm=Inf
sit
sit
VERB
VB
advmod
around
around
ADV
RB
cc
and
and
CCONJ
CC
conj
VerbForm=Inf
cry
cry
VERB
VB
case
over
over
ADP
IN
compound
Number=Sing
spilt
spilt
NOUN
NN
obl
Number=Sing
professor
professor
NOUN
NN
punct
...
...
PUNCT
,
cc
or
or
CCONJ
CC
nsubj
Case=Nom|Number=Plur|Person=1|PronType=Prs
we
we
PRON
PRP
aux
VerbForm=Fin
can
can
AUX
MD
conj
VerbForm=Inf
rejoice
rejoice
VERB
VB
case
in
in
ADP
IN
det
Definite=Def|PronType=Art
the
the
DET
DT
obl
Number=Sing
knowledge
knowledge
NOUN
NN
mark
that
that
SCONJ
IN
det
Definite=Ind|PronType=Art
a
a
DET
DT
amod
Degree=Pos
tenured
tenured
ADJ
JJ
nsubj
Number=Sing
position
position
NOUN
NN
aux
Mood=Ind|Number=Sing|Person=3|Tense=Pres|VerbForm=Fin
have
has
AUX
VBZ
advmod
just
just
ADV
RB
acl
Tense=Past|VerbForm=Part
open
opened
VERB
VBN
compound:prt
up
up
ADP
RP
punct
.
.
PUNCT
.
nsubj
Case=Nom|Number=Sing|Person=1|PronType=Prs
I
I
PRON
PRP
parataxis
Mood=Ind|Number=Sing|Person=1|Tense=Pres|VerbForm=Fin
choose
choose
VERB
VBP
mark
to
to
PART
TO
xcomp
VerbForm=Inf
do
do
VERB
VB
det
Definite=Def|PronType=Art
the
the
DET
DT
obj
Number=Sing
latter
latter
NOUN
NN
punct
.
.
PUNCT
.
(ROOT (S (S (S (VP (VB Excuse) (NP (PRP me)))) (, ,) (NP (DT the) (JJ whole) (NN tenure) (NN system)) (VP (VBZ is) (ADJP (JJ ridiculous)))) (. .) (S (NP (NP (DT A) (VBN guaranteed) (NN job)) (PP (IN for) (NP (NN life)))) (ADVP (RB only)) (VP (VBZ encourages) (NP (DT the) (NN faculty)) (S (VP (TO to) (VP (VB become) (ADJP (JJ complacent))))))) (. .) (S (SBAR (IN If) (S (NP (PRP we)) (ADVP (RB really)) (VP (VBP want) (S (NP (NN science)) (VP (TO to) (VP (VB advance))))))) (, ...) (NP (NNS people)) (VP (MD should) (VP (VB have) (NP (NP (NP (NNS chips)) (VP (VBN implanted) (PP (IN in) (NP (PRP$ their) (NNS skulls))))) (, ...) (SBAR (WHNP (WDT that)) (S (VP (VBP explode) (SBAR (WHADVP (WRB when)) (S (NP (PRP they)) (VP (VBP say) (NP (NP (NN something)) (ADJP (JJ stupid))))))))))))) (. .)))
Sheldon
Excuse me, the whole tenure system is ridiculous . A guaranteed job for life only encourages the faculty to become complacent . If we really want science to advance...people should have chips implanted in their skulls...that explode when they say something stupid.
root
Mood=Imp|VerbForm=Fin
excuse
Excuse
VERB
VB
iobj
Case=Acc|Number=Sing|Person=1|PronType=Prs
I
me
PRON
PRP
punct
,
,
PUNCT
,
det
Definite=Def|PronType=Art
the
the
DET
DT
amod
Degree=Pos
whole
whole
ADJ
JJ
compound
Number=Sing
tenure
tenure
NOUN
NN
nsubj
Number=Sing
system
system
NOUN
NN
cop
Mood=Ind|Number=Sing|Person=3|Tense=Pres|VerbForm=Fin
be
is
AUX
VBZ
parataxis
Degree=Pos
ridiculous
ridiculous
ADJ
JJ
punct
.
.
PUNCT
.
det
Definite=Ind|PronType=Art
a
A
DET
DT
amod
Tense=Past|VerbForm=Part
guarantee
guaranteed
VERB
VBN
nsubj
Number=Sing
job
job
NOUN
NN
case
for
for
ADP
IN
nmod
Number=Sing
life
life
NOUN
NN
advmod
only
only
ADV
RB
parataxis
Mood=Ind|Number=Sing|Person=3|Tense=Pres|VerbForm=Fin
encourage
encourages
VERB
VBZ
det
Definite=Def|PronType=Art
the
the
DET
DT
obj
Number=Sing
faculty
faculty
NOUN
NN
mark
to
to
PART
TO
xcomp
VerbForm=Inf
become
become
VERB
VB
xcomp
Degree=Pos
complacent
complacent
ADJ
JJ
punct
.
.
PUNCT
.
mark
if
If
SCONJ
IN
nsubj
Case=Nom|Number=Plur|Person=1|PronType=Prs
we
we
PRON
PRP
advmod
really
really
ADV
RB
advcl
Mood=Ind|Number=Plur|Person=1|Tense=Pres|VerbForm=Fin
want
want
VERB
VBP
obj
Number=Sing
science
science
NOUN
NN
mark
to
to
PART
TO
acl
VerbForm=Inf
advance
advance
VERB
VB
punct
...
...
PUNCT
,
nsubj
Number=Plur
person
people
NOUN
NNS
aux
VerbForm=Fin
should
should
AUX
MD
parataxis
VerbForm=Inf
have
have
VERB
VB
obj
Number=Plur
chip
chips
NOUN
NNS
acl
Tense=Past|VerbForm=Part
implant
implanted
VERB
VBN
case
in
in
ADP
IN
nmod:poss
Case=Gen|Number=Plur|Person=3|Poss=Yes|PronType=Prs
their
their
PRON
PRP$
obl
Number=Plur
skull
skulls
NOUN
NNS
punct
...
...
PUNCT
,
nsubj
PronType=Rel
that
that
PRON
WDT
acl:relcl
Mood=Ind|Number=Plur|Person=3|Tense=Pres|VerbForm=Fin
explode
explode
VERB
VBP
advmod
PronType=Int
when
when
ADV
WRB
nsubj
Case=Nom|Number=Plur|Person=3|PronType=Prs
they
they
PRON
PRP
advcl
Mood=Ind|Number=Plur|Person=3|Tense=Pres|VerbForm=Fin
say
say
VERB
VBP
obj
Number=Sing|PronType=Ind
something
something
PRON
NN
amod
Degree=Pos
stupid
stupid
ADJ
JJ
punct
.
.
PUNCT
.
(ROOT (S (INTJ (UH Well)) (, ,) (NP (PRP I)) (VP (VBP believe) (SBAR (S (NP (NNS people)) (VP (VBP do) (NP (PRP$ their) (JJS best) (NN work)) (SBAR (WHADVP (WRB when)) (S (NP (PRP they)) (VP (VBP feel) (ADJP (JJ safe) (CC and) (JJ secure))))))))) (. .)))
Raj
Well, I believe people do their best work when they feel safe and secure.
discourse
well
Well
INTJ
UH
punct
,
,
PUNCT
,
nsubj
Case=Nom|Number=Sing|Person=1|PronType=Prs
I
I
PRON
PRP
root
Mood=Ind|Number=Sing|Person=1|Tense=Pres|VerbForm=Fin
believe
believe
VERB
VBP
nsubj
Number=Plur
person
people
NOUN
NNS
ccomp
Mood=Ind|Number=Plur|Person=3|Tense=Pres|VerbForm=Fin
do
do
VERB
VBP
nmod:poss
Case=Gen|Number=Plur|Person=3|Poss=Yes|PronType=Prs
their
their
PRON
PRP$
amod
Degree=Sup
good
best
ADJ
JJS
obj
Number=Sing
work
work
NOUN
NN
advmod
PronType=Int
when
when
ADV
WRB
nsubj
Case=Nom|Number=Plur|Person=3|PronType=Prs
they
they
PRON
PRP
advcl
Mood=Ind|Number=Plur|Person=3|Tense=Pres|VerbForm=Fin
feel
feel
VERB
VBP
xcomp
Degree=Pos
safe
safe
ADJ
JJ
cc
and
and
CCONJ
CC
conj
Degree=Pos
secure
secure
ADJ
JJ
punct
.
.
PUNCT
.
(ROOT (NP (NNP Pchew) (. !)))
Sheldon
Pchew!
root
Number=Sing
Pchew
Pchew
PROPN
NNP
punct
!
!
PUNCT
.
(ROOT (S (SBAR (IN If) (S (NP (PRP you)) (VP (VBP need) (NP (PRP$ my) (NN nose))))) (, ,) (NP (PRP you)) (VP (MD 'll) (VP (VB find) (S (NP (PRP it)) (ADVP (RB firmly)) (VP (VBN lodged) (, ...) (PP (IN up) (NP (NP (DT the) (NN rectum)) (PP (IN of) (NP (DT the) (NN tenure) (NN committee))))))))) (. .)))
Barry
If you need my nose, you'll find it firmly lodged...up the rectum of the tenure committee.
mark
if
If
SCONJ
IN
nsubj
Case=Nom|Person=2|PronType=Prs
you
you
PRON
PRP
advcl
Mood=Ind|Number=Sing|Person=2|Tense=Pres|VerbForm=Fin
need
need
VERB
VBP
nmod:poss
Case=Gen|Number=Sing|Person=1|Poss=Yes|PronType=Prs
my
my
PRON
PRP$
obj
Number=Sing
nose
nose
NOUN
NN
punct
,
,
PUNCT
,
nsubj
Case=Nom|Person=2|PronType=Prs
you
you
PRON
PRP
aux
VerbForm=Fin
will
'll
AUX
MD
root
VerbForm=Inf
find
find
VERB
VB
obj
Case=Acc|Gender=Neut|Number=Sing|Person=3|PronType=Prs
it
it
PRON
PRP
advmod
firmly
firmly
ADV
RB
xcomp
Tense=Past|VerbForm=Part
lod
lodged
VERB
VBN
punct
...
...
PUNCT
,
case
up
up
ADP
IN
det
Definite=Def|PronType=Art
the
the
DET
DT
obl
Number=Sing
rectum
rectum
NOUN
NN
case
of
of
ADP
IN
det
Definite=Def|PronType=Art
the
the
DET
DT
compound
Number=Sing
tenure
tenure
NOUN
NN
nmod
Number=Sing
committee
committee
NOUN
NN
punct
.
.
PUNCT
.
(ROOT (S (NP (PRP You) (NN Ph) (. .) (NNP D) (VBZ 's)) (VP (VBG gon) (S (VP (TO na) (VP (VB go) (VP (VB suck) (PRT (RP up)) (PP (IN like) (NP (NNP Kripke)))))))) (. ?)))
Howard
You Ph . D's gonna go suck up like Kripke?
nsubj
Case=Nom|Person=2|PronType=Prs
you
You
PRON
PRP
reparandum
Number=Sing
ph
Ph
NOUN
NN
punct
.
.
PUNCT
.
nsubj
Number=Sing
D
D
PROPN
NNP
aux
Mood=Ind|Number=Sing|Person=3|Tense=Pres|VerbForm=Fin
be
's
AUX
VBZ
root
Tense=Pres|VerbForm=Part
go
gon
VERB
VBG
mark
to
na
PART
TO
xcomp
VerbForm=Inf
go
go
VERB
VB
xcomp
VerbForm=Inf
suck
suck
VERB
VB
compound:prt
up
up
ADP
RP
case
like
like
ADP
IN
obl
Number=Sing
Kripke
Kripke
PROPN
NNP
punct
?
?
PUNCT
.
(ROOT (S (LST (UH No) (. .)) (S (NP (PRP I)) (VP (VBP mean))) (, ,) (S (NP (PRP I)) (VP (MD 'll) (VP (VB apply)))) (, ,) (CC but) (S (NP (PRP I)) (VP (VBP 'm) (RB not) (VP (VBG gon) (S (VP (TO na) (VP (VB stoop) (PP (IN to) (S (VP (VBG playing) (NP (NNS politics))))))))))) (. .)))
Leonard
No . I mean, I'll apply, but I'm not gonna stoop to playing politics.
discourse
Polarity=Neg
no
No
INTJ
UH
punct
.
.
PUNCT
.
nsubj
Case=Nom|Number=Sing|Person=1|PronType=Prs
I
I
PRON
PRP
parataxis
Mood=Ind|Number=Sing|Person=1|Tense=Pres|VerbForm=Fin
mean
mean
VERB
VBP
punct
,
,
PUNCT
,
nsubj
Case=Nom|Number=Sing|Person=1|PronType=Prs
I
I
PRON
PRP
aux
VerbForm=Fin
will
'll
AUX
MD
root
VerbForm=Inf
apply
apply
VERB
VB
punct
,
,
PUNCT
,
cc
but
but
CCONJ
CC
nsubj
Case=Nom|Number=Sing|Person=1|PronType=Prs
I
I
PRON
PRP
aux
Mood=Ind|Number=Sing|Person=1|Tense=Pres|VerbForm=Fin
be
'm
AUX
VBP
advmod
not
not
PART
RB
conj
Tense=Pres|VerbForm=Part
go
gon
VERB
VBG
mark
to
na
PART
TO
xcomp
VerbForm=Inf
stoop
stoop
VERB
VB
mark
to
to
SCONJ
IN
advcl
VerbForm=Ger
play
playing
VERB
VBG
obj
Number=Plur
politics
politics
NOUN
NNS
punct
.
.
PUNCT
.
(ROOT (S (INTJ (UH Yeah)) (, ,) (NP (PRP me)) (NP (DT neither) (. .)) (NP (PRP It)) (VP (MD should) (VP (VB be) (PP (IN about) (NP (DT the) (NN work))))) (. .) (CC And) (S (SBAR (IN if) (S (NP (PRP I)) (VP (MD ca) (RB n't) (VP (VB get) (NP (NN tenure)))))) (, ,) (NP (PRP I)) (VP (MD 'd) (VP (VB like) (S (VP (TO to) (VP (VB see) (S (NP (PRP you) (CC or) (NNP Sheldon)) (VP (VB get) (NP (PRP it)))))))))) (. .)))
Raj
Yeah, me neither . It should be about the work . And if I can't get tenure, I'd like to see you or Sheldon get it.
discourse
yeah
Yeah
INTJ
UH
punct
,
,
PUNCT
,
reparandum
Case=Acc|Number=Sing|Person=1|PronType=Prs
I
me
PRON
PRP
det
neither
neither
DET
DT
punct
.
.
PUNCT
.
nsubj
Case=Nom|Gender=Neut|Number=Sing|Person=3|PronType=Prs
it
It
PRON
PRP
aux
VerbForm=Fin
should
should
AUX
MD
cop
VerbForm=Inf
be
be
AUX
VB
case
about
about
ADP
IN
det
Definite=Def|PronType=Art
the
the
DET
DT
root
Number=Sing
work
work
NOUN
NN
punct
.
.
PUNCT
.
cc
and
And
CCONJ
CC
mark
if
if
SCONJ
IN
nsubj
Case=Nom|Number=Sing|Person=1|PronType=Prs
I
I
PRON
PRP
aux
VerbForm=Fin
can
ca
AUX
MD
advmod
not
n't
PART
RB
advcl
VerbForm=Inf
get
get
VERB
VB
obj
Number=Sing
tenure
tenure
NOUN
NN
punct
,
,
PUNCT
,
nsubj
Case=Nom|Number=Sing|Person=1|PronType=Prs
I
I
PRON
PRP
aux
VerbForm=Fin
would
'd
AUX
MD
conj
VerbForm=Inf
like
like
VERB
VB
mark
to
to
PART
TO
xcomp
VerbForm=Inf
see
see
VERB
VB
nsubj
Case=Acc|Person=2|PronType=Prs
you
you
PRON
PRP
cc
or
or
CCONJ
CC
conj
Number=Sing
Sheldon
Sheldon
PROPN
NNP
xcomp
VerbForm=Inf
get
get
VERB
VB
obj
Case=Acc|Gender=Neut|Number=Sing|Person=3|PronType=Prs
it
it
PRON
PRP
punct
.
.
PUNCT
.
(ROOT (S (NP (NNP Raj)) (, ,) (VP (VB do) (RB n't) (VP (VB dangle) (NP (JJ false) (NN hope)) (PP (IN in) (NP (NP (NN front)) (PP (IN of) (NP (NNP Leonard))))) (PP (IN like) (NP (DT that))))) (. .)))
Sheldon
Raj, don't dangle false hope in front of Leonard like that.
vocative
Number=Sing
Raj
Raj
PROPN
NNP
punct
,
,
PUNCT
,
aux
Mood=Imp|VerbForm=Fin
do
do
AUX
VB
advmod
not
n't
PART
RB
root
Mood=Imp|VerbForm=Fin
dangle
dangle
VERB
VB
amod
Degree=Pos
false
false
ADJ
JJ
obj
Number=Sing
hope
hope
NOUN
NN
case
in
in
ADP
IN
obl
Number=Sing
front
front
NOUN
NN
case
of
of
ADP
IN
nmod
Number=Sing
Leonard
Leonard
PROPN
NNP
case
like
like
ADP
IN
obl
Number=Sing|PronType=Dem
that
that
PRON
DT
punct
.
.
PUNCT
.
(ROOT (S (S (VP (VB Excuse) (NP (PRP me)))) (, ,) (CC but) (S (NP (PRP I)) (VP (VBP think) (SBAR (S (NP (PRP I)) (VP (VBP 'm) (ADJP (ADJP (RB just) (RB as) (JJ qualified)) (SBAR (IN as) (S (NP (PRP you)) (VP (VBP are)))))))))) (. .)))
Leonard
Excuse me, but I think I'm just as qualified as you are.
root
Mood=Imp|VerbForm=Fin
excuse
Excuse
VERB
VB
iobj
Case=Acc|Number=Sing|Person=1|PronType=Prs
I
me
PRON
PRP
punct
,
,
PUNCT
,
cc
but
but
CCONJ
CC
nsubj
Case=Nom|Number=Sing|Person=1|PronType=Prs
I
I
PRON
PRP
conj
Mood=Ind|Number=Sing|Person=1|Tense=Pres|VerbForm=Fin
think
think
VERB
VBP
nsubj
Case=Nom|Number=Sing|Person=1|PronType=Prs
I
I
PRON
PRP
cop
Mood=Ind|Number=Sing|Person=1|Tense=Pres|VerbForm=Fin
be
'm
AUX
VBP
advmod
just
just
ADV
RB
advmod
as
as
ADV
RB
ccomp
Degree=Pos
qualified
qualified
ADJ
JJ
mark
as
as
SCONJ
IN
nsubj
Case=Nom|Person=2|PronType=Prs
you
you
PRON
PRP
advcl
Mood=Ind|Number=Sing|Person=2|Tense=Pres|VerbForm=Fin
be
are
AUX
VBP
punct
.
.
PUNCT
.
(ROOT (INTJ (NNP Pchew) (. !) (NNP Pchew) (. !) (NNP Pchew) (. !) (NNP Pchew) (. !)))
Sheldon
Pchew! Pchew! Pchew! Pchew!
root
Number=Sing
Pchew
Pchew
PROPN
NNP
punct
!
!
PUNCT
.
parataxis
Number=Sing
Pchew
Pchew
PROPN
NNP
punct
!
!
PUNCT
.
parataxis
Number=Sing
Pchew
Pchew
PROPN
NNP
punct
!
!
PUNCT
.
parataxis
Number=Sing
Pchew
Pchew
PROPN
NNP
punct
!
!
PUNCT
.
I was reading about this jellyfish that never dies . Instead it reverts to its asexual state and then grows up again. We thought my 90 - year - old grandfather had reverted to an asexual state...but the lawsuit from his Jamaican caregiver proved us all wrong. My point is, immortality is not only a possibility, it is real. Only if you're this jellyfish, which periodically...reverts to a mass of undifferentiated protoplasm. If I could keep my Gmail account, I'd be okay with that. Hello, fellas. Hey. Remember when we were trying to figure out what that smell coming from Professor Tupperman's office was? Yeah. Turns out it was Tupperman . Dead at his desk for two weeks. That's terrible. Oh, my God. In lieu of flowers, the department chair is asking...that everyone donate a bottle of Febreze. If we're going to change the topic from jellyfish...I'd be okay with brine shrimp or the history of the unicycle. Show a little compassion-- a man died. And turned into a puddle of goo . Now, we can either sit around and cry over spilt professor...or we can rejoice in the knowledge that a tenured position has just opened up . I choose to do the latter. Excuse me, the whole tenure system is ridiculous . A guaranteed job for life only encourages the faculty to become complacent . If we really want science to advance...people should have chips implanted in their skulls...that explode when they say something stupid. Well, I believe people do their best work when they feel safe and secure. Pchew! If you need my nose, you'll find it firmly lodged...up the rectum of the tenure committee. You Ph . D's gonna go suck up like Kripke? No . I mean, I'll apply, but I'm not gonna stoop to playing politics. Yeah, me neither . It should be about the work . And if I can't get tenure, I'd like to see you or Sheldon get it. Raj, don't dangle false hope in front of Leonard like that. Excuse me, but I think I'm just as qualified as you are. Pchew! Pchew! Pchew! Pchew!