(ROOT (S (S (NP (PRP I)) (VP (VBP 'm) (VP (VBG going) (S (VP (TO to) (VP (VB need) (NP (DT a) (JJR larger) (NN shirt)))))))) (. .) (S (NP (DT This) (NN one)) (VP (VBZ 's) (ADJP (NP (DT a) (JJ little)) (JJ tight)) (PP (IN under) (NP (DT the) (NNS arms))))) (. .)))
Sheldon
I'm going to need a larger shirt . This one's a little tight under the arms.
nsubj
Case=Nom|Number=Sing|Person=1|PronType=Prs
I
I
PRON
PRP
aux
Mood=Ind|Number=Sing|Person=1|Tense=Pres|VerbForm=Fin
be
'm
AUX
VBP
root
Tense=Pres|VerbForm=Part
go
going
VERB
VBG
mark
to
to
PART
TO
xcomp
VerbForm=Inf
need
need
VERB
VB
det
Definite=Ind|PronType=Art
a
a
DET
DT
amod
Degree=Cmp
large
larger
ADJ
JJR
obj
Number=Sing
shirt
shirt
NOUN
NN
punct
.
.
PUNCT
.
det
Number=Sing|PronType=Dem
this
This
DET
DT
nsubj
Number=Sing
one
one
NOUN
NN
cop
Mood=Ind|Number=Sing|Person=3|Tense=Pres|VerbForm=Fin
be
's
AUX
VBZ
det
Definite=Ind|PronType=Art
a
a
DET
DT
obl:npmod
Degree=Pos
little
little
ADJ
JJ
parataxis
Degree=Pos
tight
tight
ADJ
JJ
case
under
under
ADP
IN
det
Definite=Def|PronType=Art
the
the
DET
DT
obl
Number=Plur
arm
arms
NOUN
NNS
punct
.
.
PUNCT
.
(ROOT (INTJ (UH Okay) (. .)))
Assistant
Okay.
root
okay
Okay
INTJ
UH
punct
.
.
PUNCT
.
(ROOT (SQ (VBP Do) (NP (PRP you)) (VP (VB think) (SBAR (S (ADVP (RB maybe)) (NP (PRP it)) (VP (VBZ 's) (ADJP (JJ tight)) (SBAR (IN because) (S (NP (PRP you)) (VP (VBP 're) (VP (VBG wearing) (NP (JJ long) (NN underwear)))))))))) (. ?)))
Leonard
Do you think maybe it's tight because you're wearing long underwear?
aux
Mood=Ind|Number=Sing|Person=2|Tense=Pres|VerbForm=Fin
do
Do
AUX
VBP
nsubj
Case=Nom|Person=2|PronType=Prs
you
you
PRON
PRP
root
VerbForm=Inf
think
think
VERB
VB
advmod
maybe
maybe
ADV
RB
nsubj
Case=Nom|Gender=Neut|Number=Sing|Person=3|PronType=Prs
it
it
PRON
PRP
cop
Mood=Ind|Number=Sing|Person=3|Tense=Pres|VerbForm=Fin
be
's
AUX
VBZ
ccomp
Degree=Pos
tight
tight
ADJ
JJ
mark
because
because
SCONJ
IN
nsubj
Case=Nom|Person=2|PronType=Prs
you
you
PRON
PRP
aux
Mood=Ind|Number=Sing|Person=2|Tense=Pres|VerbForm=Fin
be
're
AUX
VBP
advcl
Tense=Pres|VerbForm=Part
wear
wearing
VERB
VBG
amod
Degree=Pos
long
long
ADJ
JJ
obj
Number=Sing
underwear
underwear
NOUN
NN
punct
?
?
PUNCT
.
(ROOT (S (INTJ (UH Yes)) (, ,) (ADVP (IN of) (NN course)) (NP (DT that)) (VP (VBZ 's) (SBAR (WHADVP (WRB why)) (S (NP (PRP it)) (VP (VBZ 's) (ADJP (JJ tight)))))) (. .)))
Sheldon
Yes, of course that's why it's tight.
discourse
yes
Yes
INTJ
UH
punct
,
,
PUNCT
,
advmod
of
of
ADV
IN
fixed
Number=Sing
course
course
NOUN
NN
nsubj
Number=Sing|PronType=Dem
that
that
PRON
DT
cop
Mood=Ind|Number=Sing|Person=3|Tense=Pres|VerbForm=Fin
be
's
AUX
VBZ
root
PronType=Rel
why
why
ADV
WRB
nsubj
Case=Nom|Gender=Neut|Number=Sing|Person=3|PronType=Prs
it
it
PRON
PRP
cop
Mood=Ind|Number=Sing|Person=3|Tense=Pres|VerbForm=Fin
be
's
AUX
VBZ
advcl:relcl
Degree=Pos
tight
tight
ADJ
JJ
punct
.
.
PUNCT
.
(ROOT (S (ADVP (DT All) (RB right)) (, ,) (VP (VB let) (S (NP (PRP me)) (VP (VB rephrase) (NP (DT the) (NN question))))) (. .) (WHADVP (WRB Why)) (SQ (VBP are) (NP (PRP you)) (VP (VBG wearing) (NP (JJ long) (NN underwear)))) (. ?)))
Leonard
All right, let me rephrase the question . Why are you wearing long underwear?
det
all
All
DET
DT
advmod
right
right
ADV
RB
punct
,
,
PUNCT
,
root
Mood=Imp|VerbForm=Fin
let
let
VERB
VB
obj
Case=Acc|Number=Sing|Person=1|PronType=Prs
I
me
PRON
PRP
xcomp
VerbForm=Inf
rephrase
rephrase
VERB
VB
det
Definite=Def|PronType=Art
the
the
DET
DT
obj
Number=Sing
question
question
NOUN
NN
punct
.
.
PUNCT
.
advmod
PronType=Int
why
Why
ADV
WRB
aux
Mood=Ind|Number=Sing|Person=2|Tense=Pres|VerbForm=Fin
be
are
AUX
VBP
nsubj
Case=Nom|Person=2|PronType=Prs
you
you
PRON
PRP
parataxis
Tense=Pres|VerbForm=Part
wear
wearing
VERB
VBG
amod
Degree=Pos
long
long
ADJ
JJ
obj
Number=Sing
underwear
underwear
NOUN
NN
punct
?
?
PUNCT
.
(ROOT (S (NP (PRP You)) (VP (VBP 're) (VP (VBG kidding))) (. .) (SQ (SQ (MD Should) (RB n't) (NP (DT the) (NN question)) (VP (VB be))) (, ,) (WHADVP (WRB why)) (SQ (SQ (VBP are) (RB n't) (NP (PRP you)))) (. ?))))
Sheldon
You're kidding . Shouldn't the question be, why aren't you?
nsubj
Case=Nom|Person=2|PronType=Prs
you
You
PRON
PRP
aux
Mood=Ind|Number=Sing|Person=2|Tense=Pres|VerbForm=Fin
be
're
AUX
VBP
root
Tense=Pres|VerbForm=Part
kid
kidding
VERB
VBG
punct
.
.
PUNCT
.
aux
VerbForm=Fin
should
Should
AUX
MD
advmod
not
n't
PART
RB
det
Definite=Def|PronType=Art
the
the
DET
DT
nsubj
Number=Sing
question
question
NOUN
NN
reparandum
VerbForm=Inf
be
be
AUX
VB
punct
,
,
PUNCT
,
advmod
PronType=Int
why
why
ADV
WRB
parataxis
Mood=Ind|Number=Sing|Person=2|Tense=Pres|VerbForm=Fin
be
are
AUX
VBP
advmod
not
n't
PART
RB
nsubj
Case=Nom|Person=2|PronType=Prs
you
you
PRON
PRP
punct
?
?
PUNCT
.
(ROOT (SQ (S (INTJ (UH No)) (, ,) (NP (PRP it)) (VP (MD should) (VP (VB be)))) (, ,) (WHADVP (WRB why)) (SQ (VBP are) (NP (PRP you))) (. ?)))
Leonard
No, it should be, why are you?
discourse
Polarity=Neg
no
No
INTJ
UH
punct
,
,
PUNCT
,
nsubj
Case=Nom|Gender=Neut|Number=Sing|Person=3|PronType=Prs
it
it
PRON
PRP
aux
VerbForm=Fin
should
should
AUX
MD
reparandum
VerbForm=Inf
be
be
AUX
VB
punct
,
,
PUNCT
,
advmod
PronType=Int
why
why
ADV
WRB
root
Mood=Ind|Number=Sing|Person=2|Tense=Pres|VerbForm=Fin
be
are
AUX
VBP
nsubj
Case=Nom|Person=2|PronType=Prs
you
you
PRON
PRP
punct
?
?
PUNCT
.
(ROOT (S (NP (NNP Leonard)) (, ,) (NP (DT these) (JJ rental) (NNS tuxedos)) (VP (VBP have) (VP (VBN been) (VP (VBN worn) (PP (IN by) (NP (NP (NNS hundreds)) (PP (IN of) (NP (JJ sweaty) (NNS strangers)))))))) (. .) (S (NP (PRP I)) (VP (VBP do) (RB n't) (VP (VB like) (S (NP (PRP$ my) (JJ own) (NN sweat)) (VP (VBG touching) (NP (PRP$ my) (NN skin))))))) (. .) (SBARQ (WHADVP (WRB How)) (SQ (VBP do) (NP (PRP you)) (VP (VB think) (SBAR (S (NP (PRP I)) (VP (VBP feel) (PP (IN about) (NP (PRP theirs))))))))) (. ?)))
Sheldon
Leonard, these rental tuxedos have been worn by hundreds of sweaty strangers . I don't like my own sweat touching my skin . How do you think I feel about theirs?
vocative
Number=Sing
Leonard
Leonard
PROPN
NNP
punct
,
,
PUNCT
,
det
Number=Plur|PronType=Dem
this
these
DET
DT
amod
Degree=Pos
rental
rental
ADJ
JJ
nsubj:pass
Number=Plur
tuxedo
tuxedos
NOUN
NNS
aux
Mood=Ind|Number=Plur|Person=3|Tense=Pres|VerbForm=Fin
have
have
AUX
VBP
aux:pass
Tense=Past|VerbForm=Part
be
been
AUX
VBN
root
Tense=Past|VerbForm=Part|Voice=Pass
wear
worn
VERB
VBN
case
by
by
ADP
IN
obl
Number=Plur
hundred
hundreds
NOUN
NNS
case
of
of
ADP
IN
amod
Degree=Pos
sweaty
sweaty
ADJ
JJ
nmod
Number=Plur
stranger
strangers
NOUN
NNS
punct
.
.
PUNCT
.
nsubj
Case=Nom|Number=Sing|Person=1|PronType=Prs
I
I
PRON
PRP
aux
Mood=Ind|Number=Sing|Person=1|Tense=Pres|VerbForm=Fin
do
do
AUX
VBP
advmod
not
n't
PART
RB
parataxis
VerbForm=Inf
like
like
VERB
VB
nmod:poss
Case=Gen|Number=Sing|Person=1|Poss=Yes|PronType=Prs
my
my
PRON
PRP$
amod
Degree=Pos
own
own
ADJ
JJ
obj
Number=Sing
sweat
sweat
NOUN
NN
advcl
VerbForm=Ger
touch
touching
VERB
VBG
nmod:poss
Case=Gen|Number=Sing|Person=1|Poss=Yes|PronType=Prs
my
my
PRON
PRP$
obj
Number=Sing
skin
skin
NOUN
NN
punct
.
.
PUNCT
.
advmod
PronType=Int
how
How
ADV
WRB
aux
Mood=Ind|Number=Sing|Person=2|Tense=Pres|VerbForm=Fin
do
do
AUX
VBP
nsubj
Case=Nom|Person=2|PronType=Prs
you
you
PRON
PRP
parataxis
VerbForm=Inf
think
think
VERB
VB
nsubj
Case=Nom|Number=Sing|Person=1|PronType=Prs
I
I
PRON
PRP
ccomp
Mood=Ind|Number=Sing|Person=1|Tense=Pres|VerbForm=Fin
feel
feel
VERB
VBP
case
about
about
ADP
IN
obl
Gender=Neut|Number=Sing|Person=3|Poss=Yes|PronType=Prs
theirs
theirs
PRON
PRP
punct
?
?
PUNCT
.
(ROOT (SBARQ (WHADVP (WRB Why)) (SQ (VBP do) (RB n't) (NP (PRP you)) (VP (VB slip) (NP (DT this)) (PRT (RP on)))) (. ?)))
Assistant
Why don't you slip this on?
advmod
PronType=Int
why
Why
ADV
WRB
aux
Mood=Ind|Number=Sing|Person=2|Tense=Pres|VerbForm=Fin
do
do
AUX
VBP
advmod
not
n't
PART
RB
nsubj
Case=Nom|Person=2|PronType=Prs
you
you
PRON
PRP
root
VerbForm=Inf
slip
slip
VERB
VB
obj
Number=Sing|PronType=Dem
this
this
PRON
DT
compound:prt
on
on
ADP
RP
punct
?
?
PUNCT
.
(ROOT (SINV (VP (VBD Said)) (NP (NP (DT the) (NN hangman)) (VP (VBG offering) (NP (DT a) (NN noose)))) (. .)))
Sheldon
Said the hangman offering a noose.
root
Mood=Ind|Number=Sing|Person=1|Tense=Past|VerbForm=Fin
Said
Said
VERB
VBD
det
Definite=Def|PronType=Art
the
the
DET
DT
obj
Number=Sing
hangman
hangman
NOUN
NN
acl
VerbForm=Ger
offer
offering
VERB
VBG
det
Definite=Ind|PronType=Art
a
a
DET
DT
obj
Number=Sing
noose
noose
NOUN
NN
punct
.
.
PUNCT
.
(ROOT (S (S (INTJ (UH Well)) (, ,) (NP (DT that)) (VP (VBD was) (RB n't) (ADJP (ADJP (RB as) (JJ entertaining)) (PP (IN as) (SBAR (WHADVP (WRB when)) (S (NP (PRP he)) (VP (VBZ rents) (NP (NN bowling) (NNS shoes))))))))) (, ,) (CC but) (S (NP (PRP it)) (VP (VBD was) (ADVP (RB right) (RB up) (RB there)))) (. .)))
Raj
Well, that wasn't as entertaining as when he rents bowling shoes, but it was right up there.
discourse
well
Well
INTJ
UH
punct
,
,
PUNCT
,
nsubj
Number=Sing|PronType=Dem
that
that
PRON
DT
cop
Mood=Ind|Number=Sing|Person=3|Tense=Past|VerbForm=Fin
be
was
AUX
VBD
advmod
not
n't
PART
RB
advmod
as
as
ADV
RB
root
Degree=Pos
entertaining
entertaining
ADJ
JJ
mark
as
as
SCONJ
IN
advmod
PronType=Int
when
when
ADV
WRB
nsubj
Case=Nom|Gender=Masc|Number=Sing|Person=3|PronType=Prs
he
he
PRON
PRP
advcl
Mood=Ind|Number=Sing|Person=3|Tense=Pres|VerbForm=Fin
rent
rents
VERB
VBZ
compound
Number=Sing
bowling
bowling
NOUN
NN
obj
Number=Plur
shoe
shoes
NOUN
NNS
punct
,
,
PUNCT
,
cc
but
but
CCONJ
CC
nsubj
Case=Nom|Gender=Neut|Number=Sing|Person=3|PronType=Prs
it
it
PRON
PRP
cop
Mood=Ind|Number=Sing|Person=3|Tense=Past|VerbForm=Fin
be
was
AUX
VBD
advmod
right
right
ADV
RB
advmod
up
up
ADV
RB
conj
PronType=Dem
there
there
ADV
RB
punct
.
.
PUNCT
.
(ROOT (S (ADVP (UH Well)) (, ,) (NP (DT that)) (VP (VBZ 's) (NP (PRP it))) (. .) (S (NP (PRP$ My) (NNS orders)) (VP (VBP have) (VP (VBN been) (VP (VBN rescinded))))) (. .) (S (NP (PRP I)) (VP (VBP am) (ADVP (RB officially)) (`` ") (DT no) (NN go) ('' ") (PP (IN to) (NP (NN space))))) (. .)))
Howard
Well, that's it . My orders have been rescinded . I am officially " no go " to space.
discourse
well
Well
INTJ
UH
punct
,
,
PUNCT
,
nsubj
Number=Sing|PronType=Dem
that
that
PRON
DT
cop
Mood=Ind|Number=Sing|Person=3|Tense=Pres|VerbForm=Fin
be
's
AUX
VBZ
root
Case=Acc|Gender=Neut|Number=Sing|Person=3|PronType=Prs
it
it
PRON
PRP
punct
.
.
PUNCT
.
nmod:poss
Case=Gen|Number=Sing|Person=1|Poss=Yes|PronType=Prs
my
My
PRON
PRP$
nsubj:pass
Number=Plur
order
orders
NOUN
NNS
aux
Mood=Ind|Number=Plur|Person=3|Tense=Pres|VerbForm=Fin
have
have
AUX
VBP
aux:pass
Tense=Past|VerbForm=Part
be
been
AUX
VBN
parataxis
Tense=Past|VerbForm=Part|Voice=Pass
rescind
rescinded
VERB
VBN
punct
.
.
PUNCT
.
nsubj
Case=Nom|Number=Sing|Person=1|PronType=Prs
I
I
PRON
PRP
cop
Mood=Ind|Number=Sing|Person=1|Tense=Pres|VerbForm=Fin
be
am
AUX
VBP
advmod
officially
officially
ADV
RB
punct
"
"
PUNCT
``
det
PronType=Art
no
no
DET
DT
parataxis
Number=Sing
go
go
NOUN
NN
punct
"
"
PUNCT
''
case
to
to
ADP
IN
nmod
Number=Sing
space
space
NOUN
NN
punct
.
.
PUNCT
.
(ROOT (S (S (NP (PRP I)) (VP (VBP 'm) (ADJP (JJ sorry)))) (, ,) (NP (NNP Howard)) (, ,) (CC but) (S (NP (PRP I)) (VP (VBD got) (S (VP (TO to) (VP (VB tell) (NP (PRP you)) (, ,) (S (NP (PRP I)) (VP (VBP 'm) (ADJP (NP (DT a) (JJ little)) (JJ relieved) (SBAR (S (NP (PRP you)) (VP (VBP 're) (RB not) (VP (VBG going))))))))))))) (. .)))
Leonard
I'm sorry, Howard, but I got to tell you, I'm a little relieved you're not going.
nsubj
Case=Nom|Number=Sing|Person=1|PronType=Prs
I
I
PRON
PRP
cop
Mood=Ind|Number=Sing|Person=1|Tense=Pres|VerbForm=Fin
be
'm
AUX
VBP
root
Degree=Pos
sorry
sorry
ADJ
JJ
punct
,
,
PUNCT
,
vocative
Number=Sing
Howard
Howard
PROPN
NNP
punct
,
,
PUNCT
,
cc
but
but
CCONJ
CC
nsubj
Case=Nom|Number=Sing|Person=1|PronType=Prs
I
I
PRON
PRP
conj
Mood=Ind|Number=Sing|Person=1|Tense=Past|VerbForm=Fin
get
got
VERB
VBD
mark
to
to
PART
TO
xcomp
VerbForm=Inf
tell
tell
VERB
VB
iobj
Case=Acc|Person=2|PronType=Prs
you
you
PRON
PRP
punct
,
,
PUNCT
,
nsubj
Case=Nom|Number=Sing|Person=1|PronType=Prs
I
I
PRON
PRP
cop
Mood=Ind|Number=Sing|Person=1|Tense=Pres|VerbForm=Fin
be
'm
AUX
VBP
det
Definite=Ind|PronType=Art
a
a
DET
DT
obl:npmod
Degree=Pos
little
little
ADJ
JJ
ccomp
Degree=Pos
relieved
relieved
ADJ
JJ
nsubj
Case=Nom|Person=2|PronType=Prs
you
you
PRON
PRP
aux
Mood=Ind|Number=Sing|Person=2|Tense=Pres|VerbForm=Fin
be
're
AUX
VBP
advmod
not
not
PART
RB
ccomp
Tense=Pres|VerbForm=Part
go
going
VERB
VBG
punct
.
.
PUNCT
.
(ROOT (INTJ (WRB Why) (. ?)))
Howard
Why?
root
PronType=Int
why
Why
ADV
WRB
punct
?
?
PUNCT
.
(ROOT (S (S (VP (VB Come) (PRT (RP on)))) (, ,) (NP (PRP you)) (VP (VBD were) (VP (VBG gon) (S (VP (TO na) (VP (VB go) (PRT (RP up)) (PP (IN in) (NP (NP (DT a) (NN rocket)) (VP (VBN designed) (PP (IN in) (NP (DT the) (NNS 1960s))) (PP (IN by) (NP (DT the) (NNPS Russians))))))))))) (. .)))
Leonard
Come on, you were gonna go up in a rocket designed in the 1960s by the Russians.
root
Mood=Imp|VerbForm=Fin
come
Come
VERB
VB
compound:prt
on
on
ADP
RP
punct
,
,
PUNCT
,
nsubj
Case=Nom|Person=2|PronType=Prs
you
you
PRON
PRP
aux
Mood=Ind|Number=Sing|Person=2|Tense=Past|VerbForm=Fin
be
were
AUX
VBD
parataxis
Tense=Pres|VerbForm=Part
go
gon
VERB
VBG
mark
to
na
PART
TO
xcomp
VerbForm=Inf
go
go
VERB
VB
compound:prt
up
up
ADP
RP
case
in
in
ADP
IN
det
Definite=Ind|PronType=Art
a
a
DET
DT
obl
Number=Sing
rocket
rocket
NOUN
NN
acl
Tense=Past|VerbForm=Part
design
designed
VERB
VBN
case
in
in
ADP
IN
det
Definite=Def|PronType=Art
the
the
DET
DT
obl
Number=Plur
1960s
1960s
NOUN
NNS
case
by
by
ADP
IN
det
Definite=Def|PronType=Art
the
the
DET
DT
obl
Number=Plur
Russian
Russians
PROPN
NNPS
punct
.
.
PUNCT
.
(ROOT (FRAG (INTJ (UH Yeah)) (, ,) (ADVP (RB so)) (. ?)))
Howard
Yeah, so?
discourse
yeah
Yeah
INTJ
UH
punct
,
,
PUNCT
,
root
so
so
ADV
RB
punct
?
?
PUNCT
.
(ROOT (SBAR (WHADVP (WRB When)) (S (S (VP (VBD was) (NP (NP (DT the) (JJ last) (NN time)) (SBAR (S (NP (PRP you)) (VP (VBD were) (PP (IN at) (NP (JJS Best) (NNP Buy))))))))) (CC and) (S (NP (PRP you)) (VP (VBD heard) (S (NP (NN someone)) (VP (VB say) (, ,) (`` ") (INTJ (UH Ooh)) (, ,) (S (VP (VB check) (PRT (RP out)) (NP (DT this) (NML (NN Blu) (HYPH -) (NN ray)) (NN player)))) (, ,) (S (NP (PRP it)) (VP (MD must) (VP (VB be) (ADJP (JJ good))))) (, ,) (S (NP (PRP it)) (VP (VBD was) (VP (VBN built) (PP (IN in) (NP (NNP Russia)))))) ('' ")))))) (. ?)))
Leonard
When was the last time you were at Best Buy and you heard someone say, " Ooh, check out this Blu - ray player, it must be good, it was built in Russia "?
root
PronType=Int
when
When
ADV
WRB
cop
Mood=Ind|Number=Sing|Person=3|Tense=Past|VerbForm=Fin
be
was
AUX
VBD
det
Definite=Def|PronType=Art
the
the
DET
DT
amod
Degree=Pos
last
last
ADJ
JJ
nsubj
Number=Sing
time
time
NOUN
NN
nsubj
Case=Nom|Person=2|PronType=Prs
you
you
PRON
PRP
acl:relcl
Mood=Ind|Number=Sing|Person=2|Tense=Past|VerbForm=Fin
be
were
AUX
VBD
case
at
at
ADP
IN
amod
Degree=Sup
good
Best
ADJ
JJS
acl:relcl
Number=Sing
buy
Buy
PROPN
NNP
cc
and
and
CCONJ
CC
nsubj
Case=Nom|Person=2|PronType=Prs
you
you
PRON
PRP
conj
Mood=Ind|Number=Sing|Person=2|Tense=Past|VerbForm=Fin
hear
heard
VERB
VBD
nsubj
Number=Sing|PronType=Ind
someone
someone
PRON
NN
ccomp
VerbForm=Inf
say
say
VERB
VB
punct
,
,
PUNCT
,
punct
"
"
PUNCT
``
discourse
ooh
Ooh
INTJ
UH
punct
,
,
PUNCT
,
ccomp
Mood=Imp|VerbForm=Fin
check
check
VERB
VB
compound:prt
out
out
ADP
RP
det
Number=Sing|PronType=Dem
this
this
DET
DT
compound
Number=Sing
blu
Blu
NOUN
NN
punct
-
-
PUNCT
HYPH
compound
Number=Sing
ray
ray
NOUN
NN
obj
Number=Sing
player
player
NOUN
NN
punct
,
,
PUNCT
,
nsubj
Case=Nom|Gender=Neut|Number=Sing|Person=3|PronType=Prs
it
it
PRON
PRP
aux
VerbForm=Fin
must
must
AUX
MD
cop
VerbForm=Inf
be
be
AUX
VB
parataxis
Degree=Pos
good
good
ADJ
JJ
punct
,
,
PUNCT
,
nsubj:pass
Case=Nom|Gender=Neut|Number=Sing|Person=3|PronType=Prs
it
it
PRON
PRP
aux:pass
Mood=Ind|Number=Sing|Person=3|Tense=Past|VerbForm=Fin
be
was
AUX
VBD
parataxis
Tense=Past|VerbForm=Part|Voice=Pass
build
built
VERB
VBN
case
in
in
ADP
IN
obl
Number=Sing
Russia
Russia
PROPN
NNP
punct
"
"
PUNCT
''
punct
?
?
PUNCT
.
(ROOT (S (INTJ (UH Well)) (, ,) (NP (PRP$ their) (NN technology)) (VP (VBZ is) (RB n't) (ADJP (RB that) (JJ bad))) (. .)))
Howard
Well, their technology isn't that bad.
discourse
well
Well
INTJ
UH
punct
,
,
PUNCT
,
nmod:poss
Case=Gen|Number=Plur|Person=3|Poss=Yes|PronType=Prs
their
their
PRON
PRP$
nsubj
Number=Sing
technology
technology
NOUN
NN
cop
Mood=Ind|Number=Sing|Person=3|Tense=Pres|VerbForm=Fin
be
is
AUX
VBZ
advmod
not
n't
PART
RB
advmod
that
that
ADV
RB
root
Degree=Pos
bad
bad
ADJ
JJ
punct
.
.
PUNCT
.
(ROOT (NP (S (SBAR (WHADVP (WRB When)) (S (NP (PRP you)) (VP (VBP come) (ADVP (RB back)) (PP (IN to) (NP (NNP Earth))) (PP (IN in) (NP (DT a) (NNP Soyuz) (NN capsule)))))) (, ,) (NP (PRP you)) (VP (JJ free) (HYPH -) (VB fall) (PP (IN from) (NP (NN space))) (PP (IN at) (NP (NP (CD 500) (NNS miles)) (PP (IN per) (NP (NN hour))))))) (, ,) (CC and) (S (NP (NP (DT the) (JJ only) (NN thing)) (SBAR (WHNP (WDT that)) (S (VP (VBZ slows) (NP (PRP you)) (ADVP (RP down)))))) (VP (VBZ is) (NP (NP (DT a) (JJ little) (NN parachute)) (SBAR (WHNP (WDT that)) (S (VP (VBZ pops) (PRT (RP out)) (SBAR (ADVP (RB right)) (IN before) (S (NP (PRP you)) (VP (VBP crash) (PP (IN into) (NP (DT the) (NN ground)))))))))))) (. .) (CC And) (S (NP (DT the) (JJ whole) (NN thing)) (VP (VBD was) (VP (VBN designed) (PP (IN by) (NP (NP (DT the) (JJ same) (JJ brilliant) (NNS minds)) (SBAR (WHNP (WP who)) (S (VP (VBD were) (ADJP (JJ unable) (S (VP (TO to) (VP (VB capture) (NP (NNP Rocky) (CC and) (NNP Bullwinkle)))))))))))))) (. .)))
Raj
When you come back to Earth in a Soyuz capsule, you free - fall from space at 500 miles per hour, and the only thing that slows you down is a little parachute that pops out right before you crash into the ground . And the whole thing was designed by the same brilliant minds who were unable to capture Rocky and Bullwinkle.
advmod
PronType=Int
when
When
ADV
WRB
nsubj
Case=Nom|Person=2|PronType=Prs
you
you
PRON
PRP
advcl
Mood=Ind|Number=Sing|Person=2|Tense=Pres|VerbForm=Fin
come
come
VERB
VBP
advmod
back
back
ADV
RB
case
to
to
ADP
IN
obl
Number=Sing
Earth
Earth
PROPN
NNP
case
in
in
ADP
IN
det
Definite=Ind|PronType=Art
a
a
DET
DT
compound
Number=Sing
Soyuz
Soyuz
PROPN
NNP
obl
Number=Sing
capsule
capsule
NOUN
NN
punct
,
,
PUNCT
,
nsubj
Case=Acc|Person=2|PronType=Prs
you
you
PRON
PRP
advmod
Degree=Pos
free
free
ADJ
JJ
punct
-
-
PUNCT
HYPH
root
Mood=Imp|VerbForm=Fin
fall
fall
VERB
VB
case
from
from
ADP
IN
obl
Number=Sing
space
space
NOUN
NN
case
at
at
ADP
IN
nummod
NumForm=Digit|NumType=Card
500
500
NUM
CD
obl
Number=Plur
mile
miles
NOUN
NNS
case
per
per
ADP
IN
nmod
Number=Sing
hour
hour
NOUN
NN
punct
,
,
PUNCT
,
cc
and
and
CCONJ
CC
det
Definite=Def|PronType=Art
the
the
DET
DT
amod
Degree=Pos
only
only
ADJ
JJ
nsubj
Number=Sing
thing
thing
NOUN
NN
nsubj
PronType=Rel
that
that
PRON
WDT
acl:relcl
Mood=Ind|Number=Sing|Person=3|Tense=Pres|VerbForm=Fin
slow
slows
VERB
VBZ
obj
Case=Acc|Person=2|PronType=Prs
you
you
PRON
PRP
compound:prt
down
down
ADP
RP
cop
Mood=Ind|Number=Sing|Person=3|Tense=Pres|VerbForm=Fin
be
is
AUX
VBZ
det
Definite=Ind|PronType=Art
a
a
DET
DT
amod
Degree=Pos
little
little
ADJ
JJ
conj
Number=Sing
parachute
parachute
NOUN
NN
nsubj
PronType=Rel
that
that
PRON
WDT
acl:relcl
Mood=Ind|Number=Sing|Person=3|Tense=Pres|VerbForm=Fin
pop
pops
VERB
VBZ
compound:prt
out
out
ADP
RP
advmod
right
right
ADV
RB
mark
before
before
SCONJ
IN
nsubj
Case=Nom|Person=2|PronType=Prs
you
you
PRON
PRP
advcl
Mood=Ind|Number=Sing|Person=2|Tense=Pres|VerbForm=Fin
crash
crash
VERB
VBP
case
into
into
ADP
IN
det
Definite=Def|PronType=Art
the
the
DET
DT
obl
Number=Sing
ground
ground
NOUN
NN
punct
.
.
PUNCT
.
cc
and
And
CCONJ
CC
det
Definite=Def|PronType=Art
the
the
DET
DT
amod
Degree=Pos
whole
whole
ADJ
JJ
nsubj:pass
Number=Sing
thing
thing
NOUN
NN
aux:pass
Mood=Ind|Number=Sing|Person=3|Tense=Past|VerbForm=Fin
be
was
AUX
VBD
conj
Tense=Past|VerbForm=Part|Voice=Pass
design
designed
VERB
VBN
case
by
by
ADP
IN
det
Definite=Def|PronType=Art
the
the
DET
DT
amod
Degree=Pos
same
same
ADJ
JJ
amod
Degree=Pos
brilliant
brilliant
ADJ
JJ
obl
Number=Plur
mind
minds
NOUN
NNS
nsubj
PronType=Rel
who
who
PRON
WP
cop
Mood=Ind|Number=Plur|Person=3|Tense=Past|VerbForm=Fin
be
were
AUX
VBD
acl:relcl
Degree=Pos
unable
unable
ADJ
JJ
mark
to
to
PART
TO
xcomp
VerbForm=Inf
capture
capture
VERB
VB
obj
Number=Sing
Rocky
Rocky
PROPN
NNP
cc
and
and
CCONJ
CC
conj
Number=Sing
Bullwinkle
Bullwinkle
PROPN
NNP
punct
.
.
PUNCT
.
(ROOT (FRAG (ADVP (DT All) (RB right)) (, ,) (INTJ (UH well)) (, ,) (LST (WP whatever) (. .)) (S (NP (PRP I)) (VP (VBD was) (RB n't) (ADJP (JJ worried)))) (. .)))
Howard
All right, well, whatever . I wasn't worried.
reparandum
all
All
DET
DT
advmod
right
right
ADV
RB
punct
,
,
PUNCT
,
discourse
well
well
INTJ
UH
punct
,
,
PUNCT
,
parataxis
PronType=Int
whatever
whatever
PRON
WP
punct
.
.
PUNCT
.
nsubj
Case=Nom|Number=Sing|Person=1|PronType=Prs
I
I
PRON
PRP
cop
Mood=Ind|Number=Sing|Person=3|Tense=Past|VerbForm=Fin
be
was
AUX
VBD
advmod
not
n't
PART
RB
root
Degree=Pos
worried
worried
ADJ
JJ
punct
.
.
PUNCT
.
(ROOT (S (NP (PRP You)) (VP (VBD were) (RB n't)) (. ?)))
Raj
You weren't?
nsubj
Case=Nom|Person=2|PronType=Prs
you
You
PRON
PRP
root
Mood=Ind|Number=Sing|Person=2|Tense=Past|VerbForm=Fin
be
were
AUX
VBD
advmod
not
n't
PART
RB
punct
?
?
PUNCT
.
(ROOT (S (S (S (VP (VB Let) (S (NP (PRP me)) (VP (VB explain) (NP (NP (DT the) (NN difference)) (PP (IN between) (NP (NP (PRP you)) (CC and) (NP (PRP me))))))))) (. .) (NP (PRP You)) (VP (VBP watch) (NP (NNP Star) (NNP Trek)))) (: ;) (S (NP (PRP I)) (VP (VBP live) (NP (PRP it)))) (. .)))
Howard
Let me explain the difference between you and me . You watch Star Trek; I live it.
root
Mood=Imp|VerbForm=Fin
let
Let
VERB
VB
obj
Case=Acc|Number=Sing|Person=1|PronType=Prs
I
me
PRON
PRP
xcomp
VerbForm=Inf
explain
explain
VERB
VB
det
Definite=Def|PronType=Art
the
the
DET
DT
obj
Number=Sing
difference
difference
NOUN
NN
case
between
between
ADP
IN
nmod
Case=Acc|Person=2|PronType=Prs
you
you
PRON
PRP
cc
and
and
CCONJ
CC
conj
Case=Acc|Number=Sing|Person=1|PronType=Prs
I
me
PRON
PRP
punct
.
.
PUNCT
.
nsubj
Case=Nom|Person=2|PronType=Prs
you
You
PRON
PRP
parataxis
Mood=Ind|Number=Sing|Person=2|Tense=Pres|VerbForm=Fin
watch
watch
VERB
VBP
compound
Number=Sing
Star
Star
PROPN
NNP
obj
Number=Sing
Trek
Trek
PROPN
NNP
punct
;
;
PUNCT
:
nsubj
Case=Nom|Number=Sing|Person=1|PronType=Prs
I
I
PRON
PRP
parataxis
Mood=Ind|Number=Sing|Person=1|Tense=Pres|VerbForm=Fin
live
live
VERB
VBP
obj
Case=Acc|Gender=Neut|Number=Sing|Person=3|PronType=Prs
it
it
PRON
PRP
punct
.
.
PUNCT
.
(ROOT (S (INTJ (UH Oh)) (, ,) (NP (PRP I)) (VP (VBP do) (RB n't) (VP (VB remember) (NP (NP (NP (DT the) (NN episode)) (PP (IN of) (NP (NNP Star) (NNP Trek)))) (SBAR (WHADVP (WRB where)) (S (NP (DT the) (NN guy)) (ADVP (RB never)) (VP (VP (VBZ goes) (PP (IN to) (NP (NN space)))) (CC and) (VP (VBZ brags) (PP (IN about) (NP (PRP it))) (PP (IN in) (NP (DT a) (NN tuxedo) (NN store)))))))))) (. .)))
Raj
Oh, I don't remember the episode of Star Trek where the guy never goes to space and brags about it in a tuxedo store.
discourse
oh
Oh
INTJ
UH
punct
,
,
PUNCT
,
nsubj
Case=Nom|Number=Sing|Person=1|PronType=Prs
I
I
PRON
PRP
aux
Mood=Ind|Number=Sing|Person=1|Tense=Pres|VerbForm=Fin
do
do
AUX
VBP
advmod
not
n't
PART
RB
root
VerbForm=Inf
remember
remember
VERB
VB
det
Definite=Def|PronType=Art
the
the
DET
DT
obj
Number=Sing
episode
episode
NOUN
NN
case
of
of
ADP
IN
compound
Number=Sing
Star
Star
PROPN
NNP
nmod
Number=Sing
Trek
Trek
PROPN
NNP
advmod
PronType=Rel
where
where
ADV
WRB
det
Definite=Def|PronType=Art
the
the
DET
DT
nsubj
Number=Sing
guy
guy
NOUN
NN
advmod
never
never
ADV
RB
acl:relcl
Mood=Ind|Number=Sing|Person=3|Tense=Pres|VerbForm=Fin
go
goes
VERB
VBZ
case
to
to
ADP
IN
obl
Number=Sing
space
space
NOUN
NN
cc
and
and
CCONJ
CC
conj
Mood=Ind|Number=Sing|Person=3|Tense=Pres|VerbForm=Fin
brag
brags
VERB
VBZ
case
about
about
ADP
IN
obl
Case=Acc|Gender=Neut|Number=Sing|Person=3|PronType=Prs
it
it
PRON
PRP
case
in
in
ADP
IN
det
Definite=Ind|PronType=Art
a
a
DET
DT
compound
Number=Sing
tuxedo
tuxedo
NOUN
NN
obl
Number=Sing
store
store
NOUN
NN
punct
.
.
PUNCT
.
(ROOT (S (S (VP (VB Make) (NP (NP (PDT all) (DT the) (NNS jokes)) (SBAR (S (NP (PRP you)) (VP (VBP want))))))) (, ,) (CC but) (S (NP (EX there)) (VP (VBZ 's) (NP (NP (NP (QP (RB only) (CD one))) (PP (IN of) (NP (PRP us)))) (ADJP (ADJP (RB here)) (JJ brave) (RB enough) (S (VP (TO to) (ADVP (RB almost)) (VP (VB do) (SBAR (WHNP (WP what)) (S (NP (PRP I)) (ADVP (RB almost)) (VP (VBD did))))))))))) (. .)))
Howard
Make all the jokes you want, but there's only one of us here brave enough to almost do what I almost did.
root
Mood=Imp|VerbForm=Fin
make
Make
VERB
VB
det:predet
all
all
DET
PDT
det
Definite=Def|PronType=Art
the
the
DET
DT
obj
Number=Plur
joke
jokes
NOUN
NNS
nsubj
Case=Nom|Person=2|PronType=Prs
you
you
PRON
PRP
acl:relcl
Mood=Ind|Number=Sing|Person=2|Tense=Pres|VerbForm=Fin
want
want
VERB
VBP
punct
,
,
PUNCT
,
cc
but
but
CCONJ
CC
expl
there
there
PRON
EX
conj
Mood=Ind|Number=Sing|Person=3|Tense=Pres|VerbForm=Fin
be
's
VERB
VBZ
advmod
only
only
ADV
RB
nsubj
NumForm=Word|NumType=Card
one
one
NUM
CD
case
of
of
ADP
IN
nmod
Case=Acc|Number=Plur|Person=1|PronType=Prs
we
us
PRON
PRP
advmod
PronType=Dem
here
here
ADV
RB
amod
Degree=Pos
brave
brave
ADJ
JJ
advmod
enough
enough
ADV
RB
mark
to
to
PART
TO
advmod
almost
almost
ADV
RB
advcl
VerbForm=Inf
do
do
VERB
VB
obj
PronType=Rel
what
what
PRON
WP
nsubj
Case=Nom|Number=Sing|Person=1|PronType=Prs
I
I
PRON
PRP
advmod
almost
almost
ADV
RB
acl:relcl
Mood=Ind|Number=Sing|Person=1|Tense=Past|VerbForm=Fin
do
did
VERB
VBD
punct
.
.
PUNCT
.
(ROOT (FRAG (INTJ (UH Ah)) (, ,) (ADJP (RB much) (JJR better)) (. .)))
Sheldon
Ah, much better.
discourse
ah
Ah
INTJ
UH
punct
,
,
PUNCT
,
advmod
much
much
ADV
RB
root
Degree=Cmp
good
better
ADJ
JJR
punct
.
.
PUNCT
.
(ROOT (S (NP (PRP You)) (VP (MD must) (VP (VB be) (VP (VBG burning) (PRT (RP up))))) (. .)))
Leonard
You must be burning up.
nsubj
Case=Nom|Person=2|PronType=Prs
you
You
PRON
PRP
aux
VerbForm=Fin
must
must
AUX
MD
aux
VerbForm=Inf
be
be
AUX
VB
root
Tense=Pres|VerbForm=Part
burn
burning
VERB
VBG
compound:prt
up
up
ADP
RP
punct
.
.
PUNCT
.
(ROOT (S (S (NP (NP (DT A) (JJ little)) (. .) (CC But) (NP (NP (ADJP (RB not) (JJR more))) (PP (IN than) (NP (PRP$ your) (NNS urethras)))) (VP (MD will) (VP (VB be) (PP (IN after) (SBAR (WHNP (WP whatever)) (S (VP (VBZ 's) (PP (IN in) (NP (DT those) (NNS pants)))))))))) (VP (VBZ swims) (PP (IN up) (NP (PRP them))))) (. .) (S (NP (PRP I)) (VP (VP (VBP cut) (NP (PDT quite) (DT the) (NN dashing) (, ,) (CC yet) (JJ hygienic) (NN figure))) (, ,) (SQ (VBP do) (RB n't) (NP (PRP I)) (. ?) (S (NP (PRP I)) (VP (VBP look) (PP (IN like) (NP (NP (DT the) (NNP Flash)) (ADJP (RB about) (S (VP (TO to) (VP (VB get) (ADJP (VBN married)))))))))) (. .) (SBARQ (WHADVP (UH Oh)) (. !) (NP (DT A) (NN tissue)) (. !) (NP (DT A) (NN tissue)) (. !) (INTJ (UH Oh)) (, ,) (NP (JJ good) (NN Lord)))))) (. !)))
Sheldon
A little . But not more than your urethras will be after whatever's in those pants swims up them . I cut quite the dashing, yet hygienic figure, don't I? I look like the Flash about to get married . Oh! A tissue! A tissue! Oh, good Lord!
det
Definite=Ind|PronType=Art
a
A
DET
DT
obl:npmod
Degree=Pos
little
little
ADJ
JJ
punct
.
.
PUNCT
.
cc
but
But
CCONJ
CC
advmod
not
not
PART
RB
nsubj
Degree=Cmp
more
more
ADJ
JJR
case
than
than
ADP
IN
nmod:poss
Case=Gen|Person=2|Poss=Yes|PronType=Prs
your
your
PRON
PRP$
obl
Number=Plur
urethra
urethras
NOUN
NNS
aux
VerbForm=Fin
will
will
AUX
MD
cop
VerbForm=Inf
be
be
AUX
VB
mark
after
after
SCONJ
IN
nsubj
PronType=Rel
whatever
whatever
PRON
WP
cop
Mood=Ind|Number=Sing|Person=3|Tense=Pres|VerbForm=Fin
be
's
AUX
VBZ
case
in
in
ADP
IN
det
Number=Plur|PronType=Dem
that
those
DET
DT
nmod
Number=Plur
pant
pants
NOUN
NNS
root
Mood=Ind|Number=Sing|Person=3|Tense=Pres|VerbForm=Fin
swim
swims
VERB
VBZ
case
up
up
ADP
IN
obl
Case=Acc|Number=Plur|Person=3|PronType=Prs
they
them
PRON
PRP
punct
.
.
PUNCT
.
nsubj
Case=Nom|Number=Sing|Person=1|PronType=Prs
I
I
PRON
PRP
parataxis
Mood=Ind|Number=Sing|Person=1|Tense=Pres|VerbForm=Fin
cut
cut
VERB
VBP
det:predet
quite
quite
DET
PDT
det
Definite=Def|PronType=Art
the
the
DET
DT
amod
Number=Sing
dashing
dashing
NOUN
NN
punct
,
,
PUNCT
,
cc
yet
yet
CCONJ
CC
conj
Degree=Pos
hygienic
hygienic
ADJ
JJ
obj
Number=Sing
figure
figure
NOUN
NN
punct
,
,
PUNCT
,
parataxis
Mood=Ind|Number=Sing|Person=1|Tense=Pres|VerbForm=Fin
do
do
AUX
VBP
advmod
not
n't
PART
RB
nsubj
Case=Nom|Number=Sing|Person=1|PronType=Prs
I
I
PRON
PRP
punct
?
?
PUNCT
.
nsubj
Case=Nom|Number=Sing|Person=1|PronType=Prs
I
I
PRON
PRP
parataxis
Mood=Ind|Number=Sing|Person=1|Tense=Pres|VerbForm=Fin
look
look
VERB
VBP
case
like
like
ADP
IN
det
Definite=Def|PronType=Art
the
the
DET
DT
obl
Number=Sing
Flash
Flash
PROPN
NNP
advmod
about
about
ADV
RB
mark
to
to
PART
TO
aux:pass
VerbForm=Inf
get
get
AUX
VB
advcl
Tense=Past|VerbForm=Part|Voice=Pass
marry
married
VERB
VBN
punct
.
.
PUNCT
.
discourse
oh
Oh
INTJ
UH
punct
!
!
PUNCT
.
det
Definite=Ind|PronType=Art
a
A
DET
DT
parataxis
Number=Sing
tissue
tissue
NOUN
NN
punct
!
!
PUNCT
.
det
Definite=Ind|PronType=Art
a
A
DET
DT
parataxis
Number=Sing
tissue
tissue
NOUN
NN
punct
!
!
PUNCT
.
discourse
oh
Oh
INTJ
UH
punct
,
,
PUNCT
,
amod
Degree=Pos
good
good
ADJ
JJ
parataxis
Number=Sing
lord
Lord
NOUN
NN
punct
!
!
PUNCT
.
(ROOT (SBARQ (INTJ (UH Uh)) (, ,) (WHADVP (WRB where)) (SQ (VBZ 's) (NP (PRP he)) (VP (VBG going))) (. ?)))
Assistant
Uh, where's he going?
discourse
uh
Uh
INTJ
UH
punct
,
,
PUNCT
,
advmod
PronType=Int
where
where
ADV
WRB
aux
Mood=Ind|Number=Sing|Person=3|Tense=Pres|VerbForm=Fin
be
's
AUX
VBZ
nsubj
Case=Nom|Gender=Masc|Number=Sing|Person=3|PronType=Prs
he
he
PRON
PRP
root
Tense=Pres|VerbForm=Part
go
going
VERB
VBG
punct
?
?
PUNCT
.
(ROOT (S (NP (PRP He)) (VP (VBZ keeps) (NP (NN emergency) (NNP Purell)) (PP (IN in) (NP (DT the) (NN car)))) (. .)))
Leonard
He keeps emergency Purell in the car.
nsubj
Case=Nom|Gender=Masc|Number=Sing|Person=3|PronType=Prs
he
He
PRON
PRP
root
Mood=Ind|Number=Sing|Person=3|Tense=Pres|VerbForm=Fin
keep
keeps
VERB
VBZ
compound
Number=Sing
emergency
emergency
NOUN
NN
obj
Number=Sing
Purell
Purell
PROPN
NNP
case
in
in
ADP
IN
det
Definite=Def|PronType=Art
the
the
DET
DT
obl
Number=Sing
car
car
NOUN
NN
punct
.
.
PUNCT
.
(ROOT (NP (NNS Keys) (. .) (NNS Keys) (. .) (NNS Keys) (. .)))
Sheldon
Keys . Keys . Keys.
root
Number=Plur
Keys
Keys
NOUN
NNS
punct
.
.
PUNCT
.
compound
Number=Plur
Keys
Keys
NOUN
NNS
punct
.
.
PUNCT
.
parataxis
Number=Plur
Keys
Keys
NOUN
NNS
punct
.
.
PUNCT
.
I'm going to need a larger shirt . This one's a little tight under the arms. Okay. Do you think maybe it's tight because you're wearing long underwear? Yes, of course that's why it's tight. All right, let me rephrase the question . Why are you wearing long underwear? You're kidding . Shouldn't the question be, why aren't you? No, it should be, why are you? Leonard, these rental tuxedos have been worn by hundreds of sweaty strangers . I don't like my own sweat touching my skin . How do you think I feel about theirs? Why don't you slip this on? Said the hangman offering a noose. Well, that wasn't as entertaining as when he rents bowling shoes, but it was right up there. Well, that's it . My orders have been rescinded . I am officially " no go " to space. I'm sorry, Howard, but I got to tell you, I'm a little relieved you're not going. Why? Come on, you were gonna go up in a rocket designed in the 1960s by the Russians. Yeah, so? When was the last time you were at Best Buy and you heard someone say, " Ooh, check out this Blu - ray player, it must be good, it was built in Russia "? Well, their technology isn't that bad. When you come back to Earth in a Soyuz capsule, you free - fall from space at 500 miles per hour, and the only thing that slows you down is a little parachute that pops out right before you crash into the ground . And the whole thing was designed by the same brilliant minds who were unable to capture Rocky and Bullwinkle. All right, well, whatever . I wasn't worried. You weren't? Let me explain the difference between you and me . You watch Star Trek; I live it. Oh, I don't remember the episode of Star Trek where the guy never goes to space and brags about it in a tuxedo store. Make all the jokes you want, but there's only one of us here brave enough to almost do what I almost did. Ah, much better. You must be burning up. A little . But not more than your urethras will be after whatever's in those pants swims up them . I cut quite the dashing, yet hygienic figure, don't I? I look like the Flash about to get married . Oh! A tissue! A tissue! Oh, good Lord! Uh, where's he going? He keeps emergency Purell in the car. Keys . Keys . Keys.