lyrics: [Verse 1]
  I am he as you are he as you are me and we are all together
  See how they run like pigs from a gun, see how they fly
  I'm crying
  
  [Verse 2]
  Sitting on a cornflake, waiting for the van to come
  Corporation tee-shirt, stupid bloody Tuesday
  Man, you've been a naughty boy, you let your face grow long
  
  [Chorus]
  I am the egg man, they are the egg men
  I am the walrus, goo goo g'joob
  
  [Verse 3]
  Mister City policeman sitting, pretty little policemen in a row
  See how they fly like Lucy in the sky, see how they run
  I'm crying, I'm crying
  I'm crying, I'm crying
  
  [Verse 4]
  Yellow-matter custard dripping from a dead dog's eye
  Crabalocker fishwife, pornographic priestess
  Boy, you've been a naughty girl, you let your knickers down
  
  [Chorus]
  I am the egg man, they are the egg men
  I am the walrus, goo goo g'joob
  
  [Bridge]
  Sitting in an English garden waiting for the sun
  If the sun don't come, you get a tan
  From standing in the English rain
  
  [Chorus]
  I am the egg man (Now good sir, what are you?)
  They are the egg men (A poor man, made tame to fortune's blows)
  I am the walrus, goo goo goo joob (Good pity)
  G'goo goo g'joob
  
  [Verse 5]
  Expert, textpert, choking smokers, don't you think the joker laughs at you?
  (Ho ho ho, hee hee hee, ha ha ha)
  See how they smile like pigs in a sty, see how they snide
  I'm crying
  
  [Verse 6]
  Semolina pilchard climbing up the Eiffel Tower
  Elementary penguin singing Hare Krishna
  Man, you should have seen them kicking Edgar Allan Poe
  
  [Chorus]
  I am the egg man, they are the egg men
  I am the walrus, goo goo g'joob g'goo goo g'joob
  Goo goo g'joob g'goo goo g'joob, g'goo
  Joob! Joob! Joob!
  
  [Bridge]
  Joob! Joob! Joob!
  Joob! Joob! Joob! Joob! Joob!
  Joob! Joob!
  Joob! Joob!
  
  [Outro]
  Umpa, umpa, stick it up your jumper
  Everybody's got one, everybody's got one
  “Villain, take my Purse
  If ever thou wilt thrive, bury my Body
  And give the Letters which thou findst about me
  To Edmund Earl of Gloucester: seek him out upon the English Party
  Oh, untimely death, death–”
  “I know thee well, a serviceable Villain; as duteous to the Vices of thy Mistress as badness would desire”
  “What, is he dead?”
  “Sit you down, Father; rest you”