Do you often find yourself crying in arguments? Does it feel like you just can't stop your emotions defeating you completely when you are in the middle of a heated discussion with someone, and you particularly want to make clear strong points and express yourself effectively? Many people think that someone who bursts into tears during an argument or a quarrel is    9 / 17  trying to handle the situation by bringing emotion into it. But the person who wells up tears during some heated discussion is not in control of those tears. They just can't control blushing  or stop themselves breaking out in a sweat if they feel nervous. The body has a number of such automatic responses that switch on without your decision that you want to respond like this. These instinctive behaviors have evolved over millions of years to protect us. Basically, our brains make associations between things that seem similar, which is important for automatic responses. For example, a snake is a potentially dangerous creature, and you can see why it might be useful if, whenever you see a snake, you will run like crazy. And you can see why it might still be useful if you see a flexible stick and get the same reaction. However, these very simple associations can sometimes be really unhelpful. It's not useful to try to calmly argue an important point with someone, and suddenly find tears running down your cheeks. Tears can generally make you seem weak, or foolish, and less credible. Who's going to take what you say seriously if you're crying? But if these reactions are not under your control, what can you do about it? The good news is that although you can't control automatic reactions directly, you can unlink unhelpful associations. And that means that an unwanted reaction won't get started, and so won't happen. Besides, you can try the following: Begin to notice a change in how you feel about previous times when you were defeated by emotion; Develop a growing sense of confidence and optimism about how things will go in the future. The main purpose of the passage is to give advice on   _  .
how to overcome our fears how to avoid tears in arguments how to express our feelings clearly how to communicate with people crying