Completely amazing to see how many people are reading the blog , or at least spending time on the site , so if they're not reading they're looking at the pictures . I had assumed it was just me Laura and Tim ( occasionally ) reading as they make comments . And the most amazing , that poeple are reading it in India , America , Canada ( someone from Canada did leave a comment which made me squeal very loudly with excitement ) , Malaysia , Italy , France .
The bathroom turns out to be full of murky spidery little corners full of dust , cobwebs and another substance I can't quite place though it has a familiar air . Whatever it is it turns my fingernails to ragged limp things , my new bathroom cloth to a dirty shred , and my nerves in turn to tatters .
This morning's CatCall , two lovely cats named after a lager and a spirit involves a visit to a beautifully appointed house which makes me feel weak when I encounter my own bathroom corners , but stiffens my resolve with the polyfilla , though I begin to appreciate the enormity of the task and that new wood , sandpaper and a scrubbing brush may enhance the preparation stage . And that polyfilla alone ... well .... it was an idea .
D , looking over my shoulder as I post the exploding tv blog see complete with photo : " why does an article about an exploding tv feature a picture of a toilet ?"
he points , impatient for me to finish so he can direct me to his latest attempt to restore the website to the spot on the ether where it needs to be .
(The e mails are coming thick and fast from Fasthosts and seem now to start " Dear D , we are now sure that you have ..... "
and sign off " We are now sure that once you ..... x, y and z you will be laughing all the way to your search engine ", or similar . )
....run downstairs at the final hour to listen to the Archers at seven , having been trying to polyfilla the bathroom back together . Polyfilla was the plan but as always with these ideas , it transpires there are a mountain of preparatory tasks which cant be ignored . Scrubbing the skirting boards and the floor tiles and round the base of the lavvy and the bidet ( which doubles as the cat's fresh water bowl receptacle )...... consequently I run down in a hot sweat and all geared up for flat on the back on the sofa with Jennifer and Ruarhi and the spectre of Siobhan .....not best pleased when the tv refuses to yield Radio 4 and pant back up to the next level to lie on the bed instead and listen to an alternative device .
N comes home and wanders in wondering why I am up there and breaks the news that D is poring over the tv which looks like it is no more .
N and I take off for Morrisons and Fox 's wholemeal bran biscuits which have temporarily taken over from Rachel's organic coconut bio yoghurt as the breakfast of choice ( with golden linseeds stirred in for extra effect ) where we acquire some cute post it notes ( 59 p) . Soon a note appears in N's handwriting
For some reason this strikes me as very funny and makes me very happy . I celebrate with maltesers ( small ) and decide polyfilla can wait . Further cause for celebration , an e mail pops up stating I have won another e bay bid ( addictive or what , never bought anything then three purchases in one week ) , a hardback book for 99 pence . ( fay Weldon :She may never leave , featured in an article in this morning's Times .Search Times Online )
The cats were aghast when they tumbled out of the envelope and scattered for a few minutes , re appearing gingerly to check out whether they moved . 18 tiny dogs , kittens , three piggies , a purry , a furry and an elephant .
Jess and Toby begin footballing almost immediately with a brown pig and Kitty selects a long eared and rather tasteful beige basset hound for her very own . There are even some Birman style puppies with chocolate points .
Jessie crept into bed with me in the early hours and when I woke my arms were wrapped round her as she slept . I dreamed I was growing a courgette and Jessie was the courgette and I was so proud of her being so smooth and shiny and lovely .
Today the great excitement , not having any cats to look after apart from my own , was discovering more features on site meter , including a map which seems to reveal that people are looking at the blog from Italy , Germany ( that's my friend Zita ), Canada , New York , California , oh and lots in London . And hopefully in time that will spread to lots of people locally to the north east of England who want someone to take care of their cats .....or like looking at photos of cats and houses and things you see when out on your bike .
Did I mention , I won the pound puppies ( minis ) on e bay . The previous batch of 8 went for £21 , shocking , but this batch of 18 I managed to get for £6 50 but that apart the excitement of bidding was tremendous . Spurred on , I then hunted down a copy of Mike Figgis' Timecode and managed to get that for £ 3 or thereabouts .
I saw Timecode a while back when I hired it from Blockbuster . I blanch now when I think of how I took the DVD back and informed the man at the desk ( I 'm not quite old enough to call him the Boy at the Desk though indeed that's what he was .....) that he had given me the " wrong version " of the fim and could I just have the " normal one " . His ears pricked up , wondering if I'd inadvertantly picked up a porno , possibly , but no , I was clearly mad , as I insisted on explaining the fim "had a man talking over it. ". When he asked what he was talking about and I explained it was about how he had made the film and could I just have a plain film , realisation dawned that I had clicked onto director's commentary . He patiently explained while I hooted with glee at my folly . How come he didn't laugh ? They have such self control , these people .
And the really exciting thing ? The site meter I put on the blog is now working . Well , one of them is and reports the correct figures ( such bliss , it is not after all just me reading it ) whilst the other sends a pompous report on a daily basis telling me I have had precisely nil hits . Even I know I look at it several times a day and I didn't dare exclude my own figures ......So something wrong there
The excitement ! the website up and running and now including reference to the blog , and with some added words which might help us in the Search Engine Race ( is that how it works ?) .
It all seems to be going swimmingly for a few minutes then D , trying to improve matters even further , deletes the whole thing off the whole thing ( the website off the webspace ? Serious anyway .) What a blunder ! A series of e mails back and forwards from Fasthosts who are very helpful and who usually seem to start with
And as the official webmasterperson or is it mistress , I have to forward all these e mails and am thus , again the harbinger of these unwelcome gems .
Not being particularly computer literate myself , I wonder later how it is that I find myself on the end of a phone later to my dad trying to explain " Cut and Paste " so that he can " click on the activation link " of something D put on his pc for him on our last visit . Anti virus software or something equally vital to his safety online which hasnt actually been activated since we were there , about a month , possibly .
Now I know what the helpdesk feels like when I hang on the end of the phone tittering at my own incompetence and noting their extreme patience , not even an audible sigh . How do they do that then ?
Great excitement as I realise from something said by a fellow blogger that it is possible to listen to the radio on the laptop. This is highy useful information for me as I get to listen to the Archers on the rare occasion only that I'm travelling somwhere at lunchtime or seven pm or ( more likely ) on a Sunday and even then I have to run the gauntlet of derision from the Teens in the car. BBC Radio Player
( Oh no, more thunder as I write , my head will explode but I am suffering Blog Withdrawal which is more upsetting than Life Withdrawal which I'm accustomed to , though not for a while having been until this weeks storms clear of migraine for several weeks , and amazingly , believing the problem was solved ) .
Having spent time in recent weeks looking at digital radios in John Lewis , under the impression that the main reason I don't listen at home is connected with lack of radios, I start fiddling with the laptop and then move into the realisation that I can also , wait for this , listen to broadcasts I have missed in the last seven days ....thus transforming my life .
Only last night I sat looking at the clock from 6pm , waiting patiently for seven , home alone and all prepared to listen at the right time and In the House for once , and suddenly , before I know it its precisely seven twenty and yes , again , Ive missed it ! I realise at that point that its nothing to do with having radios in only three rooms but much more to do with the fact that unless I were to set an alarm on my mobile phone , I am completely incapable of remembering anything that happens after six pm unless its work or CatCall related .
And it seems that it wasn't thundering again , just Colin's new diy project . Maybe my head will start to clear .....
Looking after two cats this week and after a minor panic on the first day when despite being told there were two cats but not having been introduced to them as they were both " upstairs " when I visited , I fretted when only one appeared near the feeding bowls and despite a cursory glance in the bedrooms , no sign of a second cat . More worryingly , there was a large black and white puss curled up asleep on the patio in the early evening sunshine . And the doors were locked and there was no way for cats to enter or leave .
I stared at this cat for a while , wondering if he/she had been left outside by accident , contemplating letting her in , or even opening the door to see if she seemed to wish to come in , but then thought of one of our cats who would happily wander into any open cat flap and have a poke around everywhere before collected by us .
A phone call to the grandmother , holidaying in Stratford , and she told me the second cat would be hiding somewhere and just to ignore her , and after leaving her to it and hoping for the best I finally decided to mount a search yesterday and there she was , a little face amongst the bags under the bed , hissing as she saw my upside down face appearing in her territory .
Went to Alina's two year birthday party ( 2nd birthday party ? sorry , migraine issues ) and there were two little boys there who were so sweet . Reminded me of this day at the Art at Belsay Hall and the boy rootling in the cupboard looking at all the dresses all by himself and thinking " I 'll probably never have a little boy now " .
So much for the furball remedy and associated trauma. We had two depositing episodes during the night .
I have had migraine of sorts for a couple of days . I went to bed at ten pm the night before last in an attempt to sleep it off , and when D came up to bed two hours later , I raised my head from sleep and said " Have you been to bed this day ? " .
Last night I slept a total of thirteen hours with some reading spells at 4 am and 5 , but was still bogged down this morning .
Fenwicks had no pound puppies ..... have been searching for Pound Puppies as the cats love them , the mini ones measuring about 5 cm . Kitty unearthed one from somewhere in the house recently and yowls and carries it about like a kitten , so as a means of placating her after Furrball Incident this morning we tried to find another . It would appear they're no longer available but have managed to locate several on ebay and have placed a bid ( my first ebay bid ever how about that ) . Disappointing to note that there are three days left to go before I discover whether the pound puppies ( mini ) are mine , but all adds to life's rich tapestry . I had no idea there were so many versions of pound puppies , which N tells me were originally avilable free from McDonalds ...what a memory she has . Furries , yappies , minis , newborns , the list goes on .
D is tired of the incessant clearing up of catbarf which passes for life at the CatCalls HQ at the minute . We acquired a furball remedy in Richmond ( when apart from on a day trip do you ever find time for petshops etc ?) so I decide to attempt to restore harmonious relations by its application .
I find it hard to digest my Rachel's coconut yoghurt ( now available in Sainsbury s )against a backdrop of his comments whilst scrubbing ( " oh there s a complete furball AND some frothy liquid here ..." ... " Oh no Kitty has deposited on my court report right on my desk " ) etc , my preference being to studiously ignore all such matters until after breakfast but he professes to be unable to eat until its done .
I apply it to their paws , though I draw the line at Kitty who is beyond all reasonable medicinal interventions .
D bravely squares up to Kitty and the deed is done , she flees the scene and goosesteps along the hall , livid .
Kitty ( pictured right ) sits on the table looking out of the window surveying the scene and with her back to the room has a Do Not Disturb look as she tries to focus on the next door cat who is prancing in her garden . She leans forward and taps angrily on the window , her paw making circular movements as if she were cleaning it with a duster . I wish . Furious that she cannot deter him , she leans back and pulls herself to her full height , only her large bulk and rolls of flesh detracting from her elegance . The uneasy silence is broken as Jessie ( left ) takes a running jump and hits the table , sliding fast to land next to her , pushing her slightly in the process . They square up to each other but via some unwritten code reach an understanding and five minutes later , the picture . Only those in the know would recognise the look on Kitty s face , and attempt to steer clear for the day
A walk after the day job this evening in the pouring rain . Sometimes fresh air is needed . Down by the fish quay , on the beach , a man walking slowly out to sea , me aghast that I had no camera with me to record the moment . Dawning on me that (not a suicide) he was wearing waders and carrying a bucket and when out up to his waist he bent double at the waist in search of.... what ? Winkles , cockles , what ?
Later when we turned back , soaked to the skin and my feet leaking badly , I said " wouldnt it be funny if all those rocks turned out to be men in the sea " , and they were . Three men out there in the driving rain . Hard to see how it worked , what they were catching , as the tide went out fast , how they were carrying their catch ? Torn between wanting to stay and watch and find out , and wanting to be home and dry .
Called at Hexham en route back from Bardon Mill ( work trip ) for coffee in cafe nero and to give L a change to arrive home after work and collecting H from the school bus . After coffee and fruit scone research ( have I mentioned this ?) , tried to get back to my car ( Robbs car park ) down HallstileBank , noting the heatwave as I came out into the sunshine . Police cars everywhere , unusual for Hexham , sleepy market town , but then they were blocking my path and wouldnt let me near the hill down to the car park and I was told I probably wouldnt be able to get my car out either as the road at the bottom was blocked . " An incident " I was told . I thought of my dream and wondered if a knife was involved ....
Took a detour and found my car though it took me a while to escape . Traffic backed up along the A69 into Hexham and getting out was interesting , mainly due to rubbernecks like me trying to figure out where the problem lay and did he have a gun ? It later transpired he did , in Haugh Lane .
Arrived at Laura s expiring with the heat , clad as I was in a jumper and jeans . The road to the farm was cool , dappled with sunshine and with tree branches creating a long green tunnel and I stopped to take some pictures . In the farmyard my new Guinea Pig arc was immediately visible , made for me to order by Cyril who apparently knocked it out on Sunday ( he was bored ) .... it was quite Fabulous and Harvey showed me how the inner sanctum works , though doubts were expressed as to how Hedgehog , the larger of our ladies , will squeeze through . A picture will appear somewhere on the site though at present there is an Issue with pictures on posts ...??
We sit in the garden and talk about missing keys , plot our very own trip to Bravissimo ( not that we're boasting our assets or anything ) and drink green tea whilst watching Laura s guineas in their own arcs , wheezing as they go . Not that they go far . Waste of time getting them fancy runs really as they tend to huddle in the indoor parts unless forced out , but still ....
Vivid dreams and very deep sleep , with the house featuring plus some of the other images from yesterday with a smattering of stabbings and men fighting with knives in close proximity to me and the kids , N and her cousins , aged around six and in my care . We were in S Carolina . I had to drive a distance and my SatNav was failing ......
Memories of an occasion years ago when waiting to be served in a fish and chip shop in Ambleside and because we spent most of the summer there were well known with our bikes and the baby trailer we had ( they werent common then ) . A couple came in and were kicking off with the staff and the tension was building and none of us could leave as it would have meant squeezing past them . One of the guys behind the counter caught my eye , looking at the kids and how transfixed they were by the anger and atmosphere , and signalled to me to exit to the kitchens , which I did . Similar tensions . And sparked off by an episode of Six Feet Under ( I'm nearly through season three ) when I was concerned by the number of times actors ( Nate and Ruth ) yell and shout whilst holding babies ( Maia ) , and I wonder about the baby as she looks from person to person trying to figure out whats going on . With an older child actor I suppose you can explain , this is just pretend but not so with a baby . To them feelings are feelings and anger is anger .
One of my regular CatCalls involves occasional weekends twice or thrice a year , and every so often a long stint looking after things whilst the family go away for six weeks for a long haul holiday . We had agreed this time to keep in touch via e mail if they wanted to know how the cats were faring and I had an e mail one morning asking me to confirm the cats were all present and correct as the woman had dreamed that Burt Reynolds had abducted one of the cats and taken him off to a house in a far distant street and when she woke this had seemed so real that she had panicked , possibly worrying that the dream portended some other nightmare scenario . N and I took the camera round and e mailed off some pictures to prove all was well and cat was snoozing as usual in the best chair . The dream she attributed to an excess of seafood . ..
First day officially of working less hours to make more room for CatCalls , woke to rain and wind but couldnt resist the bike and the ferry landing and the wild sea , and thanks to the new camera and not knowing how to use it discovered several videos of the lashing waves on rocky seashore later this afternoon that I didnt know I had .
Must have coincided with propping myself up on my bike and staring out at the rocks and remembering a time years ago when my cocker spaniel used to chase rats there . No rats now , but a sudden wetness against my bare leg made me jump , a blue roan cocker spaniel being friendly . I must have caught sight of the dog out of the corner of my eye setting off a train of thought , I jumped and the bike almost toppled . The dog gave me a fright and admittedly my first thought was of a rat ......
What a day my first Thursday of not working , anxieties of keys , a trip to the dentist , lunch with N before returning her to school and her friendly counsel about my key anxieties and how I handle them and how I might make Other People feel .... I should listen more to her .
Trip to town to return wrong sized bras ( the last remnants of our weekend ) and a box of art deco mugs from Fenwick Ltd which turned out to have one chipped mug when unpacked . I had vaguely wondered whether there would be an apology for this but .. no .. and I was expected to collect a new box myself ( and check them myself ) .
Oh well , not that I want to sound ninety and like I have nothing better to do with my time than whine about shop assistants . But really . I remind myself of my old Social Admin professor who said , when describing her treatment at the Registrars Office as she attempted to register her father 's death , noting how she had been kept waiting then treated largely with contempt rather than the kindness and respect one hopes at such a time , " Obviously they didnt know who I was ....."
and my unexpected urge to say ".... and who are you ? ... and should it make a difference who you are ? "
Influenced by the ongoing debate in the Sociology Dept at that time possibly , about whether the students should be permitted to use the same lavatories as the lecturers and understanding from a student whose name escapes me now ( how irritating ) , that most of the lecturers were agin , though " Betty was ok with it , and Ann " . I thought it was daring to use their first names as I was fresh from school but still hear her voice as she said in her Accent that was Different from Mine ( I hadnt been far then ) " I mean I said to Kathleen what's so much better about your bum than my bum " and I almost wished I'd had the nerve to propose myself as the student rep so I could take part in these fascinating discussions . Memories .
For those of you wondering about the Removed Comments and the Blog Administrator , a delightful comment appeared after N had asked to see the blog and I had asked her permission to write about our Bra Day . She was fine with this and even contributed to the post . But the comment although excellent and witty did contain some profanities which though the modern mother accepts that her children know and use many of the same words as her parents ( when under pressure ) seeing them in print is not a comfortable experience . After much deliberation and indeed heart searching about her right to express herself as she saw fit , and indeed two reply comments to that effect , I finally exercised my right to press the delete button , with her agreement that she would write a different comment . I was sad though , to lose the kiss off comment ( isnt that what reviewers call it ? ) which went something like " I love you like fat kids love cake " and know that at least one of the profanities was due to a typo and a very amusing one at that .
Which brings me to the subject of reviews . My friend Michaela thinks I have a career in this field after I wrote a spoof review of her husband Neil's book " Martha's vineyard " ( Neil Griffin : 2006)
Neil had asked me to review the book but made the mistake of asking me several months after I read it and I don't know about you but if I read something last week I'm hazy about the details three hours later .
" I read this great book by Neil and I definitely wondered how Chaela would feel about her husband having relationships extra maritally on planes and in foreign parts and also that he seems to have harboured feelings on a longstanding basis for a colleague . So hey the book must have been dead realistic .
It was also dead good as it made me feel like I was imminently going on holiday / about to win the lottery or have my own inheritance appear out of the blue from a relative Id forgotten I had . There was nice weather as well . ( ??)
There was a clever twist involving a husband and some other people , and Neil got tied to a chair at one point which was dead scary . I read really fast at that point and didnt put the book down sometimes when I should have .... so eager was I for the denoument . "
If you re interested in reading Neil s book , which is excellent by the way , you would do better to read the notes on lulu.com and perhaps dont hold your breath for my (proper) review .
Even better , why not read it yourself and then review for Neil on lulu , as I know he's always looking for feedback . In my case its hard to disentangle the Bob character from the author and I did keep wondering why he picked the name Bob , though Im sure there will be a reason , I just havent had time to ask . The time constraints of modern life .
I havent been able to write since Friday , mainly because the whole weekend was taken up bra hunting and somehow it didnt seem a suitable topic , especially as it wasn't my bra we were looking for but N s and the problem was a tricky subject , namely that despite being tiny " on the band " , ie the measuring ladies' speak for the back , she was off the scale "in the cups " ie on the front . Friday alone saw us trail increasingly despondently from the La Senza end of the market to John Lewis and Marks and Spencer , Debenhams and various other assorted department stores where the measuring ladies became like personal friends as they measured , saw her horrified face at their pronouncements, then scuttled off to bring one after the other that didnt work........and six years ( did I say years, I meant hours ) later still didnt work and we had to admit defeat though by that time we had texted Ali who knows about these things and had recommended Bravissimo Bravissimo Big Bras, Lingerie, Swimwear and Clothing for big boobed women. But by then I had to admit I had the wrong shoes on , having after all intended only Debenhams , to take my jeans back , and we agreed to take up the search again on Sunday .
Sunday , Bravissimo , Oh Joy , the measuring ladies there were young and cool and didnt even use measuring tapes , despite being around sixteen rather than sixty, they simply eyed up the punter , pronounced , brought back a selection of perfect , brightly coloured , Big Bras ( I quote N here, who has gievn her permission for this post ) . £25 might be the least expensive on offer but hey , who s counting ? After a total of 9 hours on the case , cheap at half the price .
But the shop assistant pointed out there were another paid of tens , same make , John Rocha , slightly different design , and on sale at half the price . Result ..... new jeans and a refund on my card .
I also managed to get the SatNav fixed . Drove back again to the satNav warehouse lookalike place , N decided to stay in the car and watch a funeral taking place across the road , I went in and was greeted enthusiastically by Sarah who said she was happy to help as she rarely got out of the office , she found Dan who crouched down by the car and watched me as I switched on , waited for it to fail , and of course , it flicked straight to the map and ..... surely it cant be working . Dan looked at me quizically as I tried not to go red and wished N wasnt so sharp .... both of them waiting expectantly for my explanation . Dan however despite his youth , knew all about tact and explained that sometimes it can take up to half an hour with new maps for the satellite to place itself ( which was why Id been stuck in europe for ten minutes when I had Tried this at Home ) , and kindly stated that he had " seen himself wait half an hour once " . I smiled weakly and we drove off ......
This evening ( Monday ) though whilst trying to find a new Catcall , the satnav again declared itself searching and I found the house myself by the Driving Round and Round method before the satnav kicked in ...
An atmospheric picture of Puffin Island on Thursday morning when I took my bike out for half an hours break from the report I was in front of from 7 am . For some reason it wont reduce so will have to wait for publication though suspect it would only be of interest to me anyway . Marks a point where I often sit for a few minutes watching the sea and the sea birds , and named Puffin Island as it sounds better than its real name which is The Middens , which to me signifies rubbish pile or slurry heap , generally place for liquid detritus whereas this place is a haven in the river mouth/ sea for all sorts of sea birds
A lovely hour in the sun in Debbie and Sally's garden with coffee and home made cake started a headache , the first Ive had in weeks and hasnt really gone yet . Woke this morning at three am and took Syndol which seems to knock it on the head but does the same to me for a lot of hours as well .
I live near the sea , with two people and several cats all of whom feature prominently on the blog . I have an enduring interest in food and find it hard to stop writing . I work some hours in a Day Job and write reports on my Laptop but much prefer developing my cat minding business and other stuff . I read several books a week and used to like ordering mini pound puppies on e bay for the cats . I have however moved on . My nephew is called Harvey . My sister is one of the beautiful people ( her words ).She likes voles. She and my partner share an interest in Tidiness.We have recently had a greyhound move in with us . Her name is Alice .