Thank you Sheri and Trina..wow I just read my last post..LOL..traveling really takes it out of me. So now I have to start changing my entire life again..in a place I find, where Bob never was. If I drove, I think I would stay here..I had forgotten about the horrible traffic..and the ridiculous price of homes in CA...but I want to live near my daughter, and I HATE the life sucking humidity here in OK. I found a few nice mobile homes...but now there might be a problem, cuz the realtor says loan companies don,t like to grant loans for mobile homes. What is left of my life seems to be spinning out of control.
I am reminded by an old song by Linda Rhonstadt...the lyrics are: “Time goes by like a train and the river..in a new place every day...time goes by like a train and the river..carrying our lives away”
Hey everyone...sorry imhaven,t posted..but I went to CA for a wedding and to look at possibilities for a new lace to live. I am so burnt out...I will b back when my brain functions again..but this is going to b a lot harder than I thought.
Btw, this is a horrible request, but I cannot find my checkbook. LOL I hid it, and failed to write down where I put it. LOL so if anyone has an “IN”. With the Gods of lost items, could you ask them where it might be? I cannot believe I just typed that. LOL. I am just too old to go on vacation..too much disruption. How the hell am I going to relocate if I can,t go on a simple 5 day trip?
Sheri.....That's pretty brave to book a trip by yourself to another country. I don't know if I'd ever be able to do that. I hope you have a peaceful journey.
I've been reading some of the posts...it's amazing how we all share the same experiences. Yes, weekends suck!!! It's like you get drawn down into a dark hole of feeling so alone and remembering all the horror. Yes, I turn on the TV the minute I get up and as soon as I get home. Just to have something in the background instead of silence. The music thing...I listen to a LOT of music...what I find is that I listen to music from before I knew my husband or what's new now. Listening to music from high school (Fleetwood Mac, all of that kind of thing), brings me back to before I had any idea of death. And I've discovered new artists that I like and there's no memory attached. Mainly, though the worst thing is just the feeling of being utterly alone with no one to really trust. I never felt that before I was married, but having now had it, and then having it ripped out from under me, makes you miss it. For me, looking forward to travel is my escape. I booked a trip by myself to Spain for 2 weeks at the end of the month. Leaving on the annv of Bill's death. I wanted to go somewhere that we hadn't been to. Lord, help all of us. We need it.
Mary Jane, I haven't been on this site for a while now, but I just read your last post. Nobody tells us anything! Or maybe they kind of do, but we have no idea what it means. Or can't believe what it could mean. If I had really known the outcome, I wouldn't have put Bill through the surgery, radiation, etc...but at the time we do the best with the information that we have. I felt the same way about the doctors, the people in the home where my Bill was only there for a couple of weeks (can you believe that I can't even remember the term for the place-I think I've blocked it)! The hospice people were really the only ones who explained anything to me. I have "flashbacks" when I drive the route that goes by the hospital/home/hospice. I pray to God that I never get sick because there is no way I want to go through what my husband did. Only thing I hang onto is that the glioblastoma made it so that he didn't really realize or at least was not in any pain. 10 weeks from diagnosis to death. I'm still reeling in a lot of ways, as I'm sure you are. It was two years ago right at this time. So, yes. Summer pretty much really sucks. I just wish that there was some way that we could prevent our thoughts from going to all the awfulness and instead only concentrate on the good times. If only there was a switch. I tell myself to be grateful every day for the 11 years that I had with him and that I'm able to keep going. I know that a lot of people are a lot worse off. I look for a lot of distractions. And lord knows I have enough work to get done. But it ain't easy.
Dear Linda ... My deepest condolences on the loss of your beloved husband. All of us here know exactly how you feel and grief is a journey we all must take. The things I learned from grief was I was stronger than I thought, but after 7 years of my dear Ernie passing from pancreatic cancer at the age of 65 I know I love him like no other and never will until we meet again. Until then I went through so many emotions in raw grief and it's all normal. I joined a grief group and it helped to physically see others in the same boat I was in. Still, my heart ached and I eventually found Legacy which saved my life. The people on here are so kind (my angels) and we all understand each other whether it's early grief, a few years down the road or several years. When one falls others will pick you up. Remember Linda, you are not alone and believe it or not your dear husband is right there with you seeing you over the rough spots.
We do not judge anyone who posts their feelings and there is always someone around who will answer your post. I would like to add although I miss my Ernie, I have volunteered and try to keep busy and do what I can with family and friends. No, it's not the same as when Ernie was around and when he left he took half my heart with him, but I have some life to live and keep on trying. Sometimes I even surprise myself when I laugh out loud.
Please come back and talk about anything you feel like. We're listening and we'll help you on this grief journey.
I am truly sorry for your loss. You are still in he very early stages of grief. In my experience the first few months were absolutely unbearable. Hang in there!
This is how I will always remember Joseph, the love of my life-: a ray of sunshine, happy, smiling, handsome, loving, and kind. Rest in peace, my love until I come to you.
I have been reading some of the comments and have really been touched. I lost my wonderful husband of 24 years on June 20 this year. He had IPF a fibrotic lung disease which slowly destroyed his breathing ability. The day he passed was strange but he said he was so tired of trying to breathe even with the extra help. He said he felt different. He wanted to make it to his 77th birthday, that was the day he went to the ER in the ambulance. I felt numb those few days before. I was busy helping him and the nurses. Our deacon Bill, prayed all morning Sunday, and then our priest gave him the Annointing of the Sick. He was awake all those days before he passed. He and the family decided to go Care and Comfort with Hospice. We told him we loved him and it was ok to go I would be alright. I was alone with him when I looked over at his face, and he had stopped breathing and was gone. Every day he said he loved me and was sorry I had to work so hard caring for him. I told him I loved him like had never loved anyone. We watched ROKU a lot and had family and friends over talked on the phone.This sharing site has helped me already.
Join us on August 4th from 12:00 to 1:00 pm for our first ever Lunchin’ with Leslie, a monthly gathering of Registry providers to share lunch, information, and good conversation. Hosted by Home Care Coordinator Leslie Kerns every first Friday through December, Lunchin’ with Leslie is a chance to meet your fellow Registry providers, learn about changes in the IHSS program, and share information.
Focuses on the failure of USA Network Entertainment to have a successful original comedy series on its program schedule. Status of the network with other programs; Information on the failure of USA's prime-time sitcoms; Comments by Rod Perth, president of USA Network Entertainment; Details on...
Informs about the plan of USA Networks Entertainment to launch several new programs on USA and the Sci-Fi Channel. List of programs.
Focuses on the CityVision local programming network project by USA Networks Incorporated, which includes the acquisition of Paxton Communications. Comments from Adam Ware, executive vice president of USA Broadcasting; Information on additional acquisitions by USA; Plans by USA to sell Rapid...
Reports that USA Network has begun counterprogramming sports on the broadcast networks Saturday afternoon with television movies and mini-series. High ratings that Lifetime keeps getting when it runs television movies every weekend afternoon; USA's gameplan for the last quarter of 2000.
States USA Networks Studios announced plans to take measures to eliminate fights among its guests, under fire for the content of `The Jerry Springer Show,' in April, 1998. Why this announcement was made; Comments made by Christian Pinkston, executive director of former education secretary, Bill...
Reports the acquisition of the Crime.com Web site by USA Networks in the United States. Comments on the decision; Details on the programming of the network; Features of the Web site.
Announces the launching of the $5 million television advertising campaign of USA Networks Entertainment.
Profiles Rod Perth, president of USA Networks Entertainment. Educational and personal background; Career history; Achievements; Fall 1997 lineup of programs by USA Networks.
Reports that in an effort to add more original programming to its schedule in 1996 and 1997, USA Networks Entertainment will broadcast a puppet based sitcom called `Rudy,' and a drama series of `La Femme Nikita.' Comments from USA's president Rod Perth; Cancellation of sitcom `Campus Cops' by...