the last couple of weeks have been a horrid. Our little Radish has begun---or at least the Lord is revealing it now---to eat non-food items. According to Poison Control, in relatively small doses it's no big deal. (sigh). So, although my baby is not in immediate harm's way, she is in danger. And I can't keep her safe and she thinks she can get away with things like this. And best of all, in her eyes, I am now a liar. What I tell my kids is eating things that aren't food is dangerous. You will get very sick. Etc. I would never want my kids to be in the hospital or hurting! EVER! But, seriously, I am in shock. Who knew something this serious would have no natural consequence? ugh. Honestly, I am fearful of not being able to protect her from herself, that her behavior would hurt/influence her siblings and that she isn't getting better. And I am angry. Not righteously. Sinfully angry at the disruption to the family, at her for her choices, and at, well, maybe even the Lord for not making it all go away. It is not right, but I'll tell you because we want to be authentic with you.
So tonight, I feel ill equipped and as though I want to run as far away from her and the issues and the pain that I can't take away.
but when my heart quiets in the eye of the storm, I take my sin to His throne. I am thankful for repentance, forgiveness and His mercies that are new every morning. I am reminded, "I will never leave you, nor forsake you." He does not give up on us, ever. No matter what. Even when we reject Him, or push Him away or sin against Him. No matter the consequences or the discipline He needs to give us. He always hopes and always pursues. Thank you, Lord, for so tangibly loving me in my own attachment disorder with You. I have so far to go, too. Teach me how to love this child, point her to You, and help heal her heart.
And just as He will never leave us or forsake us, we can never leave or forsake them...even though, dang it, there are too many moments when it would be so much easier.
As awful as it sound, I'm sure you wish that her choices would lead her to a night of puking, not enough to really hurt her but enough to recognize how yucky that is. What about do a bit of reverse pyschology? Next time it happens you say to your other two in ear shot of said child "I'm guessing you're tired of so and so doing the wrong thing and getting Mama's attention for it. Since you've done the right thing and not put yucky stuff in your mouths, I have a treat for your mouths." and then you provide a few M and M's or other small treat. Just a thought... Press on, press on, you can love her even when she is unlovable.
Wow. It is nice to find your blog. My son (adopted from foster care at age 5) is soooo hard to love and we have had him for three years. I sometimes wish I could go back and change my mind. The SW's did not tell us about RAD. They lied to us about his past and the past of his sister whom we also adopted at age 6. I am saddened everyday and have NO JOY in being his mother. I hate myself for that.
Kayla-yep! totally. We did that the other night with my special candy cane popcorn because of what we had been subjected to all night.
Texas Lisa-We are so sorry to hear of your struggles. We don't have all the answers, but certainly hope we can be a place of encouragement as you persevere. Please let us know if there is something specifically we can discuss or pray for you about.
Feel free to leave anonymous comments. We know how intimidating and frightening navigating this territory can be. You are not alone...and chances are...you're probably not crazy.
We are not experts. We are not offering professional advice, diagnosis or support. We are merely two families (friends) sharing our experiences, what the Lord has revealed to us and a shoulder to help bear others' burdens.
*Superficially charming and engaging, particularly around strangers or those who they feel they can manipulate
“There is no such thing as tough love. Love is kind, love is compassionate, love is tender.” – Heather Wolf, Kipnuk the Talking Dog
“I wanted to reach out and stroke her, to be gentle and tender towards her. Take care of her.” – James Lusarde, The Lady Loves to Strip
“If you want the naked beauty of my vulnerability, you have to have the strength to share the burden of, the private pain, that makes me feel so tender and fragile. For i am as strong, as i am, weak. … Continue reading →
“Picnics are very dear to those who are in the first stage of the tender passion.” – Arthur Conan Doyle
“This is what it means to be loved… when someone wants to touch you, to be tender…” – Banana Yoshimoto, The Lake
Min Price : No Minimum $10,000 $20,000 $30,000 $40,000 $45,000 $50,000 $55,000 $60,000 $70,000 $75,000 $100,000 $125,000 $150,000 $175,000 $200,000 $225,000 $250,000 $275,000 $300,000 $325,000 $350,000 $400,000 $450,000 $500,000 $550,000 $600,000 $650,000 $700,000 $750,000 $800,000 $850,000 $900,000 $1,000,000 $1,250,000 $1,500,000 $1,750,000 $2,000,000 $2,250,000 $2,500,000 $2,750,000 $3,000,000 $3,500,000 $4,000,000 $4,500,000 $5,000,000 $6,000,000 $8,000,000 $10,000,000
Max Price : No Maximum $10,000 $20,000 $30,000 $40,000 $45,000 $50,000 $55,000 $60,000 $70,000 $75,000 $100,000 $125,000 $150,000 $175,000 $200,000 $225,000 $250,000 $275,000 $300,000 $325,000 $350,000 $400,000 $450,000 $500,000 $550,000 $600,000 $650,000 $700,000 $750,000 $800,000 $850,000 $900,000 $1,000,000 $1,250,000 $1,500,000 $1,750,000 $2,000,000 $2,250,000 $2,500,000 $2,750,000 $3,000,000 $3,500,000 $4,000,000 $4,500,000 $5,000,000 $6,000,000 $8,000,000 $10,000,000
The data relating to real estate for sale on this web site comes in part from the Broker ReciprocitySM program of the South Jersey Shore Regional Multiple Listing Service. Real estate listings held by brokerage firms other than AtTheBeach.com, Inc. are marked with the Broker ReciprocitySM logo or the Broker ReciprocitySM thumbnail logo (a little red house) and detailed information about them includes the name of the listing brokers.
NOTE - IDX Listings that are rentals, or without address displayed or NOT included in IDX display ARE NOT available on this site!
The data relating to real estate for sale on this web site comes in part from the Broker ReciprocitySM program of the Cape May County Multiple Listing Service. Real estate listings held by brokerage firms other than AtTheBeach.com, Inc. are marked with the Broker ReciprocitySM logo or the Broker ReciprocitySM thumbnail logo (a little red house) and detailed information about them includes the name of the listing brokers.
Disclaimer: All data relating to real estate for sale on this page comes from the Broker Reciprocity (BR) of the Ocean County Board of Realtors Listing Service. All listings shown include the name of the listing company. Neither the listing company nor the featured/displaying office or agent shall be responsible for any typographical errors, misinformation, misprints and shall be held totally harmless. The Broker providing this data believes it to be correct, but advises interested parties to confirm any item before relying on it in a purchase decision. All properties are subject to prior sale, changes, or withdrawal. Copyright 2008© Ocean County Board of Realtors Multiple Listing Service, Inc. All rights reserved.
“To be humble and accept that life is an experience. To continue to be inspired by life and driven by soul, for the good of our own life, that of our patients, and that of the world in which we live in”.