I think my creative spark was cultivated among the trees and born in the creek beds of Southeastern, Ohio. Or you can just grow up anywhere but always hear words a bit differently than others. You listen to the way your Southern mother says brain and it sounds like braing and you secretly love the way words roll out of mouths. You pretend to be British on the front porch while you roller skate back and forth the concrete slab. You perfect Alice in Wonderland passages and repeat them like a tic throughout the countryside.
Or at least that dreaded kind of person who was friends with everyone. The person who is at the base level pretty likable. I straddled the line of all of those types (the Jock, the Brain, the Criminal, the Princess and the Kook ) I never fully committed to one type, but I got inside them all and learned their language. I learned their movements and motivations.
Practice the American phenomenon of drunk writer. Work on eating life. Work on intense relationships with others. Charm the writing department. Nod to others about the next step and an MFA and all that jazz. Write good shit. Write shit. Write more than you ever knew could come out of one person. Start to question yr purpose. Start to realize you are cursed and blessed as an artist.
March ahead. Time. Have children. Have career. Forget about writing all of those pages that came like a fever back then.
You may even ditch that original idea or it could be lost in the ether like mine was with a mac notebook death three years ago. You may go way off course like me. Quit a career in an unstable economy and start to write. Then start a toy company.
Take a calendar and plan it out. Then something will happen like you will get knocked up and have 9 months to really do what you want. I have taken on more than I ever should have lately, but I am doing it. I have a very concrete goal of turning in something that resembles a manuscript (or a shitty first draft) on August 23rd to a friend who is going to help me ready it for the query process. I will have a baby and then sometime over the holidays when you are all drinking excessively and throwing decor around I will sit in a small room of my own and edit like a banshee.
1. I saved some money and have hired a sitter two days a week. I am ruthless with my time during those hours. I will only write. Even if Joe came home in the afternoon unannounced and devastating romantic I will not kiss his lips.
2. I carry a small notebook and fountain pen with me all the time. I scribble scrabble perfect sentences and little conversations and tiny words when they strike me.
4. I have developed a relationship with a mentor. I trust this person and they are helping me edit and discover things about myself as a writer. I reached out to a writer that I admire (bc I am ballsy like that) and although they were honest enough to let me know they did not have the time to help me they directed me to a person that helps them sometimes. It has been like a a magical connection. Like I always knew this person.
5. I read and read and read like always. I keep current on what it out there. I grow jealous over others accomplishments but I plunder on. I stop comparing myself to others.
I wonder why I have this compulsion to write a novel when it is really hard for me. Essays and poems would be easier. But it is there. This cast of characters that live in my head and talk to me.
6. I have a binder from Target and every week I print out what I have accomplished and place it inside. It grows fat like me and I smile. But I also shudder because it is unedited and raw.
7. I tell my boys that I am a writer. I think the more times I hear it out loud the better. I keep hearing it and saying it and now towards the end it makes more sense than it did before.
It was like hearing almost yr name or a variation of yr name being called across a field and turning.
And even if I fail like so many writers do the first time round the sun, I won't freak out because it has been a true experience. Joe is proud of me and I am proud of me too. Even if it never gets anywhere it will have been this one shiny penny moment of my life. I have been practicing my query letter though. I am trying to infuse it with love and charm and bliss. I want it to seep out magic. I want it to make someone swoon. We all want that.
Now excuse me. My babysitter comes soon. I have five weeks till this baby comes and many more words to throw down. I have stories to plant. I have rows to hoe. I have gold star days ahead of me.
I am so inspired by this, Amy. You are following your dream, and it is a dream I so desperately want to follow, myself. I opened a biz and had a baby 4 weeks later, so I can completely relate. But writing a novel? That's an entirely new level of awesome. I am bookmarking this and promising myself that I'll get there one day, too. Since I already write at length in my head *constantly*, I think I might already be on my way. Thanks for this...and GOOD LUCK! I can't wait to buy my first copy:) xo
I am so with you. Except I usually have to do it one night a week, as I have to do my day job when I have a sitter. But yes, I hear you! Be strong!
One thing I learned from my first journey through the publishing process is that it's SUPPOSED to suck. It's SUPPOSED to be hard. Nothing worth a stinky crap has ever been accomplished by someone who didn't claw and grapple her way through like you are.
Next chance we get can we really and truly sit down and have a meal together, with dessert, and maybe pillows and couch and floor afterwards. I want to tell stories.
It takes one to know one and I know you can do it. You have it in you. I recently finished my first draft that was very overdue. Very. Keep the vision, keep the hope. Enjoy it! It's fun when you get one of those groove moments.
I love love love this post. It also confirms that beng crazy alone doesn't mean I have a novel in me. And that's ok.
You can do it! This is how it happens, you put yourself in the right frame of mind first, and then when you hit a little speed bump, you don't easily forget why you're there.
When you do get around to querying, there are amazing web resources to help you. www.querytracker.net is amazing, among other sites!
Like Blake says "I will not reason and compare. My business is to create!" Sounds a lot like you, Amy.
For too long I have read your blog without commenting. I have loved your posts, and how you arrange words into stories and snippets that are beautiful and real.
So now, with a newborn on my lap & similar dreams in my heart I am writing to thank you for this post (& many others).
I just read a RT of your baby coming today... good luck, sugar! And oh my, how this post inspires me... I have to do better about blocking out the way the house looks in order to carve out the time for myself - it's so easy to get distracted by small stuff and small people underfoot... you've got it all. I'm excited for you!! I'll be reading...
Wow...I came across this randomly and it is so beautiful. It's a great example of how we look to the end as success but in reality your process is successful as you have inspired so many already...including me! Thank you!
This post speaks to me.. I just had a baby 18 months ago and I am launching a handbag line.... I totally relate to being crazy with my time.. we have a baby sitter a day and 1/2 a week. I love that you are following your dream.....
Blog Archive November 2017 (1) December 2012 (1) November 2012 (2) October 2012 (3) August 2012 (2) July 2012 (2) June 2012 (6) April 2012 (4) March 2012 (14) February 2012 (13) January 2012 (21) December 2011 (15) November 2011 (8) October 2011 (6) September 2011 (8) August 2011 (15) July 2011 (15) June 2011 (30) May 2011 (32) April 2011 (25) March 2011 (18) February 2011 (10) January 2011 (16) December 2010 (12) November 2010 (22) October 2010 (9) September 2010 (13) August 2010 (8) July 2010 (7) June 2010 (9) May 2010 (8) April 2010 (20) March 2010 (18) February 2010 (22) January 2010 (19) December 2009 (20) November 2009 (30) October 2009 (22) September 2009 (16) August 2009 (15) July 2009 (11) June 2009 (25) May 2009 (25) April 2009 (31) March 2009 (25) February 2009 (28) January 2009 (38) December 2008 (35) November 2008 (33) October 2008 (38) September 2008 (38) August 2008 (35) July 2008 (33) June 2008 (32) May 2008 (31) April 2008 (32) March 2008 (34) February 2008 (31) January 2008 (31) December 2007 (18) November 2007 (29) October 2007 (14) September 2007 (18) August 2007 (16) July 2007 (19) June 2007 (20) May 2007 (4) June 2006 (2) May 2006 (1) October 2005 (1) September 2005 (8)