through the motions of life toward the end , '' Boteach told NBC . CNN has not independently confirmed Jackson 's quotes in the book , but Boteach was known to be a spiritual adviser to Jackson for several years beginning about 1999 . Ken Sunshine , spokesman for the family , including the singer 's father , Joe , issued a statement on the book . `` We are not going to dignify this with a comment , '' he said . The book was not published during Jackson 's lifetime because of the pop star 's child molestation trial , which ended with an acquittal in 2005 , the author said . The author said Jackson 's arrest ended any interest in a book about him . `` I do n't want to grow old , '' Jackson is quoted as saying in one interview with Boteach . `` When the body breaks down and you start to wrinkle , I think it 's so bad , '' Jackson said . Jackson talked to Boteach about why he was drawn to children , especially those who were sick . `` I love them . I love them ,
LOS ANGELES , California -LRB- CNN -RRB- -- Michael Jackson feared his father so much he would faint or vomit sometimes when his father entered the room -- even when the pop singer was an adult , according to a book written by a former Jackson confidant . Rabbi Shmuley Boteach , Michael Jackson 's confidant , sat down with the King of Pop and taped 30 hours of interviews . `` The Michael Jackson Tapes '' includes Jackson talking about his fear of growing old , his relationship with children , his friendships with Madonna and Brooke Shields , and his remarkable shyness around people that made his surround himself with mannequins . Jackson opened up to Rabbi Shmuley Boteach for 30 hours of interviews , which were taped nine years ago and intended for a book Jackson wanted written , Boteach said . `` He was trying to reclaim his life , '' Boteach said Friday in an NBC `` Today Show '' interview . Jackson , who died on June 25 of what the coroner found to be a deadly combination of drugs , `` lost the will to live , I think he was just going