lovingly raising a son , are shut out of the 1,100 federal and hundreds of state legal benefits that come with marriage . These include the right to visit a spouse in a hospital and make medical decisions ; employer sick and bereavement leave ; inheritance rights ; the right to give unlimited gifts to a spouse without gift tax ; disability , pension , and Social Security benefits ; the right to bring a wrongful death case ; the right to refuse to testify against a spouse ; or the right to prevent the deportation of a foreign-born partner by marriage , among others . Perhaps most poignant , and often lost in this debate , are children in same-sex families : kids like my friends ' son Dorian , growing up with the sting of knowing that his parents are second-class citizens in their own country . Study after study finds that something about marriage makes us live longer , healthier lives . Married folks have significantly better mental health , engage in fewer risky behaviors , eat healthier , have less illness and are just plain happier . And do n't tell me that civil unions are
-LRB- CNN -RRB- -- A pop star could have a quickie Vegas wedding tomorrow , to a man she meets tonight , if she so chooses . Scott Peterson , convicted of the murder of his pregnant wife and on death row , has an inalienable right to a prison wedding with a female pen pal if the mood strikes him . Indiana grandmother Linda Wolfe holds the Guinness World Records title for most marriages : 23 . One lasted just 36 hours . She 's on the lookout for No. 24 , and when she finds him , no law can stop her from marrying him . The U.S. Supreme Court has held unanimously that `` the freedom to marry has long been recognized as one of the vital personal rights essential to the orderly pursuit of happiness by free men . Marriage is one of the basic civil rights of man . '' So basic , so important , so fundamental , in constitutional parlance , that no state can interfere with even the most reckless heterosexual nuptials . Yet in most states , my friends Wilbert and Carlos , `` free men '' together 16 years and