finished_summaries/sparknotes/The Brothers Karamazov/section_10_part_5.txt
The Brothers Karamazov.book 8.chapter 5
book 8, chapter 5
{"name": "book 8, Chapter 5", "url": "https://web.archive.org/web/20210305110438/https://www.sparknotes.com/lit/brothersk/section11/", "summary": "A Sudden Decision Dmitri storms back to Grushenka's house and forces the servants to tell him where Grushenka has gone. When he hears that she has joined her former lover, he is devastated. He realizes that she will never be his. Thinking that his life is meaningless without Grushenka, he decides to visit her one last time and then kill himself. Ten minutes later, Dmitri visits Perkhotin, a local official who, earlier that day, had taken Dmitri's pistols as collateral for a ten-ruble loan. To the official's astonishment, Dmitri now displays a large amount of cash, repays the loan, and takes his pistols back. Perkhotin follows Dmitri to a store, where, to Perkhotin's continuing puzzlement, Dmitri buys several hundred rubles' worth of food and wine. Perkhotin quizzically wonders what is happening. He asks himself where Dmitri got such a large amount of money and why Dmitri is covered with blood", "analysis": ""}
Chapter V. A Sudden Resolution


She was sitting in the kitchen with her grandmother; they were both just
going to bed. Relying on Nazar Ivanovitch, they had not locked themselves
in. Mitya ran in, pounced on Fenya and seized her by the throat.

"Speak at once! Where is she? With whom is she now, at Mokroe?" he roared
furiously.

Both the women squealed.

"Aie! I'll tell you. Aie! Dmitri Fyodorovitch, darling, I'll tell you
everything directly, I won't hide anything," gabbled Fenya, frightened to
death; "she's gone to Mokroe, to her officer."

"What officer?" roared Mitya.

"To her officer, the same one she used to know, the one who threw her over
five years ago," cackled Fenya, as fast as she could speak.

Mitya withdrew the hands with which he was squeezing her throat. He stood
facing her, pale as death, unable to utter a word, but his eyes showed
that he realized it all, all, from the first word, and guessed the whole
position. Poor Fenya was not in a condition at that moment to observe
whether he understood or not. She remained sitting on the trunk as she had
been when he ran into the room, trembling all over, holding her hands out
before her as though trying to defend herself. She seemed to have grown
rigid in that position. Her wide-opened, scared eyes were fixed immovably
upon him. And to make matters worse, both his hands were smeared with
blood. On the way, as he ran, he must have touched his forehead with them,
wiping off the perspiration, so that on his forehead and his right cheek
were blood-stained patches. Fenya was on the verge of hysterics. The old
cook had jumped up and was staring at him like a mad woman, almost
unconscious with terror.

Mitya stood for a moment, then mechanically sank on to a chair next to
Fenya. He sat, not reflecting but, as it were, terror-stricken, benumbed.
Yet everything was clear as day: that officer, he knew about him, he knew
everything perfectly, he had known it from Grushenka herself, had known
that a letter had come from him a month before. So that for a month, for a
whole month, this had been going on, a secret from him, till the very
arrival of this new man, and he had never thought of him! But how could
he, how could he not have thought of him? Why was it he had forgotten this
officer, like that, forgotten him as soon as he heard of him? That was the
question that faced him like some monstrous thing. And he looked at this
monstrous thing with horror, growing cold with horror.

But suddenly, as gently and mildly as a gentle and affectionate child, he
began speaking to Fenya as though he had utterly forgotten how he had
scared and hurt her just now. He fell to questioning Fenya with an extreme
preciseness, astonishing in his position, and though the girl looked
wildly at his blood-stained hands, she, too, with wonderful readiness and
rapidity, answered every question as though eager to put the whole truth
and nothing but the truth before him. Little by little, even with a sort
of enjoyment, she began explaining every detail, not wanting to torment
him, but, as it were, eager to be of the utmost service to him. She
described the whole of that day, in great detail, the visit of Rakitin and
Alyosha, how she, Fenya, had stood on the watch, how the mistress had set
off, and how she had called out of the window to Alyosha to give him,
Mitya, her greetings, and to tell him "to remember for ever how she had
loved him for an hour."

Hearing of the message, Mitya suddenly smiled, and there was a flush of
color on his pale cheeks. At the same moment Fenya said to him, not a bit
afraid now to be inquisitive:

"Look at your hands, Dmitri Fyodorovitch. They're all over blood!"

"Yes," answered Mitya mechanically. He looked carelessly at his hands and
at once forgot them and Fenya's question.

He sank into silence again. Twenty minutes had passed since he had run in.
His first horror was over, but evidently some new fixed determination had
taken possession of him. He suddenly stood up, smiling dreamily.

"What has happened to you, sir?" said Fenya, pointing to his hands again.
She spoke compassionately, as though she felt very near to him now in his
grief. Mitya looked at his hands again.

"That's blood, Fenya," he said, looking at her with a strange expression.
"That's human blood, and my God! why was it shed? But ... Fenya ...
there's a fence here" (he looked at her as though setting her a riddle),
"a high fence, and terrible to look at. But at dawn to-morrow, when the
sun rises, Mitya will leap over that fence.... You don't understand what
fence, Fenya, and, never mind.... You'll hear to-morrow and understand ...
and now, good-by. I won't stand in her way. I'll step aside, I know how to
step aside. Live, my joy.... You loved me for an hour, remember Mityenka
Karamazov so for ever.... She always used to call me Mityenka, do you
remember?"

And with those words he went suddenly out of the kitchen. Fenya was almost
more frightened at this sudden departure than she had been when he ran in
and attacked her.

Just ten minutes later Dmitri went in to Pyotr Ilyitch Perhotin, the young
official with whom he had pawned his pistols. It was by now half-past
eight, and Pyotr Ilyitch had finished his evening tea, and had just put
his coat on again to go to the "Metropolis" to play billiards. Mitya
caught him coming out.

Seeing him with his face all smeared with blood, the young man uttered a
cry of surprise.

"Good heavens! What is the matter?"

"I've come for my pistols," said Mitya, "and brought you the money. And
thanks very much. I'm in a hurry, Pyotr Ilyitch, please make haste."

Pyotr Ilyitch grew more and more surprised; he suddenly caught sight of a
bundle of bank-notes in Mitya's hand, and what was more, he had walked in
holding the notes as no one walks in and no one carries money: he had them
in his right hand, and held them outstretched as if to show them.
Perhotin's servant-boy, who met Mitya in the passage, said afterwards that
he walked into the passage in the same way, with the money outstretched in
his hand, so he must have been carrying them like that even in the
streets. They were all rainbow-colored hundred-rouble notes, and the
fingers holding them were covered with blood.

When Pyotr Ilyitch was questioned later on as to the sum of money, he said
that it was difficult to judge at a glance, but that it might have been
two thousand, or perhaps three, but it was a big, "fat" bundle. "Dmitri
Fyodorovitch," so he testified afterwards, "seemed unlike himself, too;
not drunk, but, as it were, exalted, lost to everything, but at the same
time, as it were, absorbed, as though pondering and searching for
something and unable to come to a decision. He was in great haste,
answered abruptly and very strangely, and at moments seemed not at all
dejected but quite cheerful."

"But what _is_ the matter with you? What's wrong?" cried Pyotr Ilyitch,
looking wildly at his guest. "How is it that you're all covered with
blood? Have you had a fall? Look at yourself!"

He took him by the elbow and led him to the glass.

Seeing his blood-stained face, Mitya started and scowled wrathfully.

"Damnation! That's the last straw," he muttered angrily, hurriedly
changing the notes from his right hand to the left, and impulsively jerked
the handkerchief out of his pocket. But the handkerchief turned out to be
soaked with blood, too (it was the handkerchief he had used to wipe
Grigory's face). There was scarcely a white spot on it, and it had not
merely begun to dry, but had stiffened into a crumpled ball and could not
be pulled apart. Mitya threw it angrily on the floor.

"Oh, damn it!" he said. "Haven't you a rag of some sort ... to wipe my
face?"

"So you're only stained, not wounded? You'd better wash," said Pyotr
Ilyitch. "Here's a wash-stand. I'll pour you out some water."

"A wash-stand? That's all right ... but where am I to put this?"

With the strangest perplexity he indicated his bundle of hundred-rouble
notes, looking inquiringly at Pyotr Ilyitch as though it were for him to
decide what he, Mitya, was to do with his own money.

"In your pocket, or on the table here. They won't be lost."

"In my pocket? Yes, in my pocket. All right.... But, I say, that's all
nonsense," he cried, as though suddenly coming out of his absorption.
"Look here, let's first settle that business of the pistols. Give them
back to me. Here's your money ... because I am in great need of them ...
and I haven't a minute, a minute to spare."

And taking the topmost note from the bundle he held it out to Pyotr
Ilyitch.

"But I shan't have change enough. Haven't you less?"

"No," said Mitya, looking again at the bundle, and as though not trusting
his own words he turned over two or three of the topmost ones.

"No, they're all alike," he added, and again he looked inquiringly at
Pyotr Ilyitch.

"How have you grown so rich?" the latter asked. "Wait, I'll send my boy to
Plotnikov's, they close late--to see if they won't change it. Here, Misha!"
he called into the passage.

"To Plotnikov's shop--first-rate!" cried Mitya, as though struck by an
idea. "Misha," he turned to the boy as he came in, "look here, run to
Plotnikov's and tell them that Dmitri Fyodorovitch sends his greetings,
and will be there directly.... But listen, listen, tell them to have
champagne, three dozen bottles, ready before I come, and packed as it was
to take to Mokroe. I took four dozen with me then," he added (suddenly
addressing Pyotr Ilyitch); "they know all about it, don't you trouble,
Misha," he turned again to the boy. "Stay, listen; tell them to put in
cheese, Strasburg pies, smoked fish, ham, caviare, and everything,
everything they've got, up to a hundred roubles, or a hundred and twenty
as before.... But wait: don't let them forget dessert, sweets, pears,
water-melons, two or three or four--no, one melon's enough, and chocolate,
candy, toffee, fondants; in fact, everything I took to Mokroe before,
three hundred roubles' worth with the champagne ... let it be just the
same again. And remember, Misha, if you are called Misha--His name is
Misha, isn't it?" He turned to Pyotr Ilyitch again.

"Wait a minute," Protr Ilyitch intervened, listening and watching him
uneasily, "you'd better go yourself and tell them. He'll muddle it."

"He will, I see he will! Eh, Misha! Why, I was going to kiss you for the
commission.... If you don't make a mistake, there's ten roubles for you,
run along, make haste.... Champagne's the chief thing, let them bring up
champagne. And brandy, too, and red and white wine, and all I had then....
They know what I had then."

"But listen!" Pyotr Ilyitch interrupted with some impatience. "I say, let
him simply run and change the money and tell them not to close, and you go
and tell them.... Give him your note. Be off, Misha! Put your best leg
forward!"

Pyotr Ilyitch seemed to hurry Misha off on purpose, because the boy
remained standing with his mouth and eyes wide open, apparently
understanding little of Mitya's orders, gazing up with amazement and
terror at his blood-stained face and the trembling bloodstained fingers
that held the notes.

"Well, now come and wash," said Pyotr Ilyitch sternly. "Put the money on
the table or else in your pocket.... That's right, come along. But take
off your coat."

And beginning to help him off with his coat, he cried out again:

"Look, your coat's covered with blood, too!"

"That ... it's not the coat. It's only a little here on the sleeve.... And
that's only here where the handkerchief lay. It must have soaked through.
I must have sat on the handkerchief at Fenya's, and the blood's come
through," Mitya explained at once with a childlike unconsciousness that
was astounding. Pyotr Ilyitch listened, frowning.

"Well, you must have been up to something; you must have been fighting
with some one," he muttered.

They began to wash. Pyotr Ilyitch held the jug and poured out the water.
Mitya, in desperate haste, scarcely soaped his hands (they were trembling,
and Pyotr Ilyitch remembered it afterwards). But the young official
insisted on his soaping them thoroughly and rubbing them more. He seemed
to exercise more and more sway over Mitya, as time went on. It may be
noted in passing that he was a young man of sturdy character.

"Look, you haven't got your nails clean. Now rub your face; here, on your
temples, by your ear.... Will you go in that shirt? Where are you going?
Look, all the cuff of your right sleeve is covered with blood."

"Yes, it's all bloody," observed Mitya, looking at the cuff of his shirt.

"Then change your shirt."

"I haven't time. You see I'll ..." Mitya went on with the same confiding
ingenuousness, drying his face and hands on the towel, and putting on his
coat. "I'll turn it up at the wrist. It won't be seen under the coat....
You see!"

"Tell me now, what game have you been up to? Have you been fighting with
some one? In the tavern again, as before? Have you been beating that
captain again?" Pyotr Ilyitch asked him reproachfully. "Whom have you been
beating now ... or killing, perhaps?"

"Nonsense!" said Mitya.

"Why 'nonsense'?"

"Don't worry," said Mitya, and he suddenly laughed. "I smashed an old
woman in the market-place just now."

"Smashed? An old woman?"

"An old man!" cried Mitya, looking Pyotr Ilyitch straight in the face,
laughing, and shouting at him as though he were deaf.

"Confound it! An old woman, an old man.... Have you killed some one?"

"We made it up. We had a row--and made it up. In a place I know of. We
parted friends. A fool.... He's forgiven me.... He's sure to have forgiven
me by now ... if he had got up, he wouldn't have forgiven me"--Mitya
suddenly winked--"only damn him, you know, I say, Pyotr Ilyitch, damn him!
Don't worry about him! I don't want to just now!" Mitya snapped out,
resolutely.

"Whatever do you want to go picking quarrels with every one for? ... Just
as you did with that captain over some nonsense.... You've been fighting
and now you're rushing off on the spree--that's you all over! Three dozen
champagne--what do you want all that for?"

"Bravo! Now give me the pistols. Upon my honor I've no time now. I should
like to have a chat with you, my dear boy, but I haven't the time. And
there's no need, it's too late for talking. Where's my money? Where have I
put it?" he cried, thrusting his hands into his pockets.

"You put it on the table ... yourself.... Here it is. Had you forgotten?
Money's like dirt or water to you, it seems. Here are your pistols. It's
an odd thing, at six o'clock you pledged them for ten roubles, and now
you've got thousands. Two or three I should say."

"Three, you bet," laughed Mitya, stuffing the notes into the side-pocket
of his trousers.

"You'll lose it like that. Have you found a gold-mine?"

"The mines? The gold-mines?" Mitya shouted at the top of his voice and
went off into a roar of laughter. "Would you like to go to the mines,
Perhotin? There's a lady here who'll stump up three thousand for you, if
only you'll go. She did it for me, she's so awfully fond of gold-mines. Do
you know Madame Hohlakov?"

"I don't know her, but I've heard of her and seen her. Did she really give
you three thousand? Did she really?" said Pyotr Ilyitch, eyeing him
dubiously.

"As soon as the sun rises to-morrow, as soon as Phoebus, ever young, flies
upwards, praising and glorifying God, you go to her, this Madame Hohlakov,
and ask her whether she did stump up that three thousand or not. Try and
find out."

"I don't know on what terms you are ... since you say it so positively, I
suppose she did give it to you. You've got the money in your hand, but
instead of going to Siberia you're spending it all.... Where are you
really off to now, eh?"

"To Mokroe."

"To Mokroe? But it's night!"

"Once the lad had all, now the lad has naught," cried Mitya suddenly.

"How 'naught'? You say that with all those thousands!"

"I'm not talking about thousands. Damn thousands! I'm talking of the
female character.


    Fickle is the heart of woman
    Treacherous and full of vice;


I agree with Ulysses. That's what he says."

"I don't understand you!"

"Am I drunk?"

"Not drunk, but worse."

"I'm drunk in spirit, Pyotr Ilyitch, drunk in spirit! But that's enough!"

"What are you doing, loading the pistol?"

"I'm loading the pistol."

Unfastening the pistol-case, Mitya actually opened the powder horn, and
carefully sprinkled and rammed in the charge. Then he took the bullet and,
before inserting it, held it in two fingers in front of the candle.

"Why are you looking at the bullet?" asked Pyotr Ilyitch, watching him
with uneasy curiosity.

"Oh, a fancy. Why, if you meant to put that bullet in your brain, would
you look at it or not?"

"Why look at it?"

"It's going into my brain, so it's interesting to look and see what it's
like. But that's foolishness, a moment's foolishness. Now that's done," he
added, putting in the bullet and driving it home with the ramrod. "Pyotr
Ilyitch, my dear fellow, that's nonsense, all nonsense, and if only you
knew what nonsense! Give me a little piece of paper now."

"Here's some paper."

"No, a clean new piece, writing-paper. That's right."

And taking a pen from the table, Mitya rapidly wrote two lines, folded the
paper in four, and thrust it in his waistcoat pocket. He put the pistols
in the case, locked it up, and kept it in his hand. Then he looked at
Pyotr Ilyitch with a slow, thoughtful smile.

"Now, let's go."

"Where are we going? No, wait a minute.... Are you thinking of putting
that bullet in your brain, perhaps?" Pyotr Ilyitch asked uneasily.

"I was fooling about the bullet! I want to live. I love life! You may be
sure of that. I love golden-haired Phoebus and his warm light.... Dear
Pyotr Ilyitch, do you know how to step aside?"

"What do you mean by 'stepping aside'?"

"Making way. Making way for a dear creature, and for one I hate. And to
let the one I hate become dear--that's what making way means! And to say to
them: God bless you, go your way, pass on, while I--"

"While you--?"

"That's enough, let's go."

"Upon my word. I'll tell some one to prevent your going there," said Pyotr
Ilyitch, looking at him. "What are you going to Mokroe for, now?"

"There's a woman there, a woman. That's enough for you. You shut up."

"Listen, though you're such a savage I've always liked you.... I feel
anxious."

"Thanks, old fellow. I'm a savage you say. Savages, savages! That's what I
am always saying. Savages! Why, here's Misha! I was forgetting him."

Misha ran in, post-haste, with a handful of notes in change, and reported
that every one was in a bustle at the Plotnikovs'; "They're carrying down
the bottles, and the fish, and the tea; it will all be ready directly."
Mitya seized ten roubles and handed it to Pyotr Ilyitch, then tossed
another ten-rouble note to Misha.

"Don't dare to do such a thing!" cried Pyotr Ilyitch. "I won't have it in
my house, it's a bad, demoralizing habit. Put your money away. Here, put
it here, why waste it? It would come in handy to-morrow, and I dare say
you'll be coming to me to borrow ten roubles again. Why do you keep
putting the notes in your side-pocket? Ah, you'll lose them!"

"I say, my dear fellow, let's go to Mokroe together."

"What should I go for?"

"I say, let's open a bottle at once, and drink to life! I want to drink,
and especially to drink with you. I've never drunk with you, have I?"

"Very well, we can go to the 'Metropolis.' I was just going there."

"I haven't time for that. Let's drink at the Plotnikovs', in the back
room. Shall I ask you a riddle?"

"Ask away."

Mitya took the piece of paper out of his waistcoat pocket, unfolded it and
showed it. In a large, distinct hand was written: "I punish myself for my
whole life, my whole life I punish!"

"I will certainly speak to some one, I'll go at once," said Pyotr Ilyitch,
after reading the paper.

"You won't have time, dear boy, come and have a drink. March!"

Plotnikov's shop was at the corner of the street, next door but one to
Pyotr Ilyitch's. It was the largest grocery shop in our town, and by no
means a bad one, belonging to some rich merchants. They kept everything
that could be got in a Petersburg shop, grocery of all sort, wines
"bottled by the brothers Eliseyev," fruits, cigars, tea, coffee, sugar,
and so on. There were three shop-assistants and two errand boys always
employed. Though our part of the country had grown poorer, the landowners
had gone away, and trade had got worse, yet the grocery stores flourished
as before, every year with increasing prosperity; there were plenty of
purchasers for their goods.

They were awaiting Mitya with impatience in the shop. They had vivid
recollections of how he had bought, three or four weeks ago, wine and
goods of all sorts to the value of several hundred roubles, paid for in
cash (they would never have let him have anything on credit, of course).
They remembered that then, as now, he had had a bundle of hundred-rouble
notes in his hand, and had scattered them at random, without bargaining,
without reflecting, or caring to reflect what use so much wine and
provisions would be to him. The story was told all over the town that,
driving off then with Grushenka to Mokroe, he had "spent three thousand in
one night and the following day, and had come back from the spree without
a penny." He had picked up a whole troop of gypsies (encamped in our
neighborhood at the time), who for two days got money without stint out of
him while he was drunk, and drank expensive wine without stint. People
used to tell, laughing at Mitya, how he had given champagne to grimy-
handed peasants, and feasted the village women and girls on sweets and
Strasburg pies. Though to laugh at Mitya to his face was rather a risky
proceeding, there was much laughter behind his back, especially in the
tavern, at his own ingenuous public avowal that all he had got out of
Grushenka by this "escapade" was "permission to kiss her foot, and that
was the utmost she had allowed him."

By the time Mitya and Pyotr Ilyitch reached the shop, they found a cart
with three horses harnessed abreast with bells, and with Andrey, the
driver, ready waiting for Mitya at the entrance. In the shop they had
almost entirely finished packing one box of provisions, and were only
waiting for Mitya's arrival to nail it down and put it in the cart. Pyotr
Ilyitch was astounded.

"Where did this cart come from in such a hurry?" he asked Mitya.

"I met Andrey as I ran to you, and told him to drive straight here to the
shop. There's no time to lose. Last time I drove with Timofey, but Timofey
now has gone on before me with the witch. Shall we be very late, Andrey?"

"They'll only get there an hour at most before us, not even that maybe. I
got Timofey ready to start. I know how he'll go. Their pace won't be ours,
Dmitri Fyodorovitch. How could it be? They won't get there an hour
earlier!" Andrey, a lanky, red-haired, middle-aged driver, wearing a full-
skirted coat, and with a kaftan on his arm, replied warmly.

"Fifty roubles for vodka if we're only an hour behind them."

"I warrant the time, Dmitri Fyodorovitch. Ech, they won't be half an hour
before us, let alone an hour."

Though Mitya bustled about seeing after things, he gave his orders
strangely, as it were disconnectedly, and inconsecutively. He began a
sentence and forgot the end of it. Pyotr Ilyitch found himself obliged to
come to the rescue.

"Four hundred roubles' worth, not less than four hundred roubles' worth,
just as it was then," commanded Mitya. "Four dozen champagne, not a bottle
less."

"What do you want with so much? What's it for? Stay!" cried Pyotr Ilyitch.
"What's this box? What's in it? Surely there isn't four hundred roubles'
worth here?"

The officious shopmen began explaining with oily politeness that the first
box contained only half a dozen bottles of champagne, and only "the most
indispensable articles," such as savories, sweets, toffee, etc. But the
main part of the goods ordered would be packed and sent off, as on the
previous occasion, in a special cart also with three horses traveling at
full speed, so that it would arrive not more than an hour later than
Dmitri Fyodorovitch himself.

"Not more than an hour! Not more than an hour! And put in more toffee and
fondants. The girls there are so fond of it," Mitya insisted hotly.

"The fondants are all right. But what do you want with four dozen of
champagne? One would be enough," said Pyotr Ilyitch, almost angry. He
began bargaining, asking for a bill of the goods, and refused to be
satisfied. But he only succeeded in saving a hundred roubles. In the end
it was agreed that only three hundred roubles' worth should be sent.

"Well, you may go to the devil!" cried Pyotr Ilyitch, on second thoughts.
"What's it to do with me? Throw away your money, since it's cost you
nothing."

"This way, my economist, this way, don't be angry." Mitya drew him into a
room at the back of the shop. "They'll give us a bottle here directly.
We'll taste it. Ech, Pyotr Ilyitch, come along with me, for you're a nice
fellow, the sort I like."

Mitya sat down on a wicker chair, before a little table, covered with a
dirty dinner-napkin. Pyotr Ilyitch sat down opposite, and the champagne
soon appeared, and oysters were suggested to the gentlemen. "First-class
oysters, the last lot in."

"Hang the oysters. I don't eat them. And we don't need anything," cried
Pyotr Ilyitch, almost angrily.

"There's no time for oysters," said Mitya. "And I'm not hungry. Do you
know, friend," he said suddenly, with feeling, "I never have liked all
this disorder."

"Who does like it? Three dozen of champagne for peasants, upon my word,
that's enough to make any one angry!"

"That's not what I mean. I'm talking of a higher order. There's no order
in me, no higher order. But ... that's all over. There's no need to grieve
about it. It's too late, damn it! My whole life has been disorder, and one
must set it in order. Is that a pun, eh?"

"You're raving, not making puns!"


    "Glory be to God in Heaven,
    Glory be to God in me....


"That verse came from my heart once, it's not a verse, but a tear.... I
made it myself ... not while I was pulling the captain's beard,
though...."

"Why do you bring him in all of a sudden?"

"Why do I bring him in? Foolery! All things come to an end; all things are
made equal. That's the long and short of it."

"You know, I keep thinking of your pistols."

"That's all foolery, too! Drink, and don't be fanciful. I love life. I've
loved life too much, shamefully much. Enough! Let's drink to life, dear
boy, I propose the toast. Why am I pleased with myself? I'm a scoundrel,
but I'm satisfied with myself. And yet I'm tortured by the thought that
I'm a scoundrel, but satisfied with myself. I bless the creation. I'm
ready to bless God and His creation directly, but ... I must kill one
noxious insect for fear it should crawl and spoil life for others.... Let
us drink to life, dear brother. What can be more precious than life?
Nothing! To life, and to one queen of queens!"

"Let's drink to life and to your queen, too, if you like."

They drank a glass each. Although Mitya was excited and expansive, yet he
was melancholy, too. It was as though some heavy, overwhelming anxiety
were weighing upon him.

"Misha ... here's your Misha come! Misha, come here, my boy, drink this
glass to Phoebus, the golden-haired, of to-morrow morn...."

"What are you giving it him for?" cried Pyotr Ilyitch, irritably.

"Yes, yes, yes, let me! I want to!"

"E--ech!"

Misha emptied the glass, bowed, and ran out.

"He'll remember it afterwards," Mitya remarked. "Woman, I love woman! What
is woman? The queen of creation! My heart is sad, my heart is sad, Pyotr
Ilyitch. Do you remember Hamlet? 'I am very sorry, good Horatio! Alas,
poor Yorick!' Perhaps that's me, Yorick? Yes, I'm Yorick now, and a skull
afterwards."

Pyotr Ilyitch listened in silence. Mitya, too, was silent for a while.

"What dog's that you've got here?" he asked the shopman, casually,
noticing a pretty little lap-dog with dark eyes, sitting in the corner.

"It belongs to Varvara Alexyevna, the mistress," answered the clerk. "She
brought it and forgot it here. It must be taken back to her."

"I saw one like it ... in the regiment ..." murmured Mitya dreamily, "only
that one had its hind leg broken.... By the way, Pyotr Ilyitch, I wanted
to ask you: have you ever stolen anything in your life?"

"What a question!"

"Oh, I didn't mean anything. From somebody's pocket, you know. I don't
mean government money, every one steals that, and no doubt you do,
too...."

"You go to the devil."

"I'm talking of other people's money. Stealing straight out of a pocket?
Out of a purse, eh?"

"I stole twenty copecks from my mother when I was nine years old. I took
it off the table on the sly, and held it tight in my hand."

"Well, and what happened?"

"Oh, nothing. I kept it three days, then I felt ashamed, confessed, and
gave it back."

"And what then?"

"Naturally I was whipped. But why do you ask? Have you stolen something?"

"I have," said Mitya, winking slyly.

"What have you stolen?" inquired Pyotr Ilyitch curiously.

"I stole twenty copecks from my mother when I was nine years old, and gave
it back three days after."

As he said this, Mitya suddenly got up.

"Dmitri Fyodorovitch, won't you come now?" called Andrey from the door of
the shop.

"Are you ready? We'll come!" Mitya started. "A few more last words
and--Andrey, a glass of vodka at starting. Give him some brandy as well!
That box" (the one with the pistols) "put under my seat. Good-by, Pyotr
Ilyitch, don't remember evil against me."

"But you're coming back to-morrow?"

"Of course."

"Will you settle the little bill now?" cried the clerk, springing forward.

"Oh, yes, the bill. Of course."

He pulled the bundle of notes out of his pocket again, picked out three
hundred roubles, threw them on the counter, and ran hurriedly out of the
shop. Every one followed him out, bowing and wishing him good luck.
Andrey, coughing from the brandy he had just swallowed, jumped up on the
box. But Mitya was only just taking his seat when suddenly to his surprise
he saw Fenya before him. She ran up panting, clasped her hands before him
with a cry, and plumped down at his feet.

"Dmitri Fyodorovitch, dear good Dmitri Fyodorovitch, don't harm my
mistress. And it was I told you all about it.... And don't murder him, he
came first, he's hers! He'll marry Agrafena Alexandrovna now. That's why
he's come back from Siberia. Dmitri Fyodorovitch, dear, don't take a
fellow creature's life!"

"Tut--tut--tut! That's it, is it? So you're off there to make trouble!"
muttered Pyotr Ilyitch. "Now, it's all clear, as clear as daylight. Dmitri
Fyodorovitch, give me your pistols at once if you mean to behave like a
man," he shouted aloud to Mitya. "Do you hear, Dmitri?"

"The pistols? Wait a bit, brother, I'll throw them into the pool on the
road," answered Mitya. "Fenya, get up, don't kneel to me. Mitya won't hurt
any one, the silly fool won't hurt any one again. But I say, Fenya," he
shouted, after having taken his seat. "I hurt you just now, so forgive me
and have pity on me, forgive a scoundrel.... But it doesn't matter if you
don't. It's all the same now. Now then, Andrey, look alive, fly along full
speed!"

Andrey whipped up the horses, and the bells began ringing.

"Good-by, Pyotr Ilyitch! My last tear is for you!..."

"He's not drunk, but he keeps babbling like a lunatic," Pyotr Ilyitch
thought as he watched him go. He had half a mind to stay and see the cart
packed with the remaining wines and provisions, knowing that they would
deceive and defraud Mitya. But, suddenly feeling vexed with himself, he
turned away with a curse and went to the tavern to play billiards.

"He's a fool, though he's a good fellow," he muttered as he went. "I've
heard of that officer, Grushenka's former flame. Well, if he has turned
up.... Ech, those pistols! Damn it all! I'm not his nurse! Let them do
what they like! Besides, it'll all come to nothing. They're a set of
brawlers, that's all. They'll drink and fight, fight and make friends
again. They are not men who do anything real. What does he mean by 'I'm
stepping aside, I'm punishing myself?' It'll come to nothing! He's shouted
such phrases a thousand times, drunk, in the taverns. But now he's not
drunk. 'Drunk in spirit'--they're fond of fine phrases, the villains. Am I
his nurse? He must have been fighting, his face was all over blood. With
whom? I shall find out at the 'Metropolis.' And his handkerchief was
soaked in blood.... It's still lying on my floor.... Hang it!"

He reached the tavern in a bad humor and at once made up a game. The game
cheered him. He played a second game, and suddenly began telling one of
his partners that Dmitri Karamazov had come in for some cash
again--something like three thousand roubles, and had gone to Mokroe again
to spend it with Grushenka.... This news roused singular interest in his
listeners. They all spoke of it, not laughing, but with a strange gravity.
They left off playing.

"Three thousand? But where can he have got three thousand?"

Questions were asked. The story of Madame Hohlakov's present was received
with skepticism.

"Hasn't he robbed his old father?--that's the question."

"Three thousand! There's something odd about it."

"He boasted aloud that he would kill his father; we all heard him, here.
And it was three thousand he talked about ..."

Pyotr Ilyitch listened. All at once he became short and dry in his
answers. He said not a word about the blood on Mitya's face and hands,
though he had meant to speak of it at first.

They began a third game, and by degrees the talk about Mitya died away.
But by the end of the third game, Pyotr Ilyitch felt no more desire for
billiards; he laid down the cue, and without having supper as he had
intended, he walked out of the tavern. When he reached the market-place he
stood still in perplexity, wondering at himself. He realized that what he
wanted was to go to Fyodor Pavlovitch's and find out if anything had
happened there. "On account of some stupid nonsense--as it's sure to turn
out--am I going to wake up the household and make a scandal? Fooh! damn it,
is it my business to look after them?"

In a very bad humor he went straight home, and suddenly remembered Fenya.
"Damn it all! I ought to have questioned her just now," he thought with
vexation, "I should have heard everything." And the desire to speak to
her, and so find out, became so pressing and importunate that when he was
half-way home he turned abruptly and went towards the house where
Grushenka lodged. Going up to the gate he knocked. The sound of the knock
in the silence of the night sobered him and made him feel annoyed. And no
one answered him; every one in the house was asleep.

"And I shall be making a fuss!" he thought, with a feeling of positive
discomfort. But instead of going away altogether, he fell to knocking
again with all his might, filling the street with clamor.

"Not coming? Well, I will knock them up, I will!" he muttered at each
knock, fuming at himself, but at the same time he redoubled his knocks on
the gate.





book 8, Chapter 5
A Sudden Decision Dmitri storms back to Grushenka's house and forces the servants to tell him where Grushenka has gone. When he hears that she has joined her former lover, he is devastated. He realizes that she will never be his. Thinking that his life is meaningless without Grushenka, he decides to visit her one last time and then kill himself. Ten minutes later, Dmitri visits Perkhotin, a local official who, earlier that day, had taken Dmitri's pistols as collateral for a ten-ruble loan. To the official's astonishment, Dmitri now displays a large amount of cash, repays the loan, and takes his pistols back. Perkhotin follows Dmitri to a store, where, to Perkhotin's continuing puzzlement, Dmitri buys several hundred rubles' worth of food and wine. Perkhotin quizzically wonders what is happening. He asks himself where Dmitri got such a large amount of money and why Dmitri is covered with blood