finished_summaries/shmoop/The Comedy of Errors/section_3_part_0.txt
The Comedy of Errors.act ii.scene ii
act ii, scene ii
{"name": "Act II, Scene ii", "url": "https://web.archive.org/web/20201219160210/https://www.shmoop.com/study-guides/literature/comedy-of-errors/summary/act-ii-scene-ii", "summary": "Back at the marketplace of Ephesus, S. Antipholus is confused. He found out that the gold he sent with S. Dromio did indeed make it to the Centaur. After getting a room at the inn, S. Dromio apparently left the place in search of S. Antipholus. S. Antipholus doesn't think it makes sense that S. Antipholus has already seen S. Dromio, given the timing of the whole thing. When S. Antipholus does see S. Dromio , he begins to question him about his earlier requests and the whole having-a-wife-and-being-late-for-dinner business. S. Dromio is rightfully confused, and says he definitely didn't ask S. Antipholus about a wife and dinner and all that jazz. S. Dromio assures his master that this is the first time he's seen S. Antipholus since heading off to the Centaur. Still, S. Dromio says it's nice to see his master in such a merry, joking mood. However, S. Antipholus is upset and beats S. Dromio. S. Antipholus says it's fine for them to be familiar friends when S. Antipholus is in a good mood, but otherwise S. Dromio should know his place. In other words, S. Antipholus doesn't want to be teased when he's in a serious mood. S. Dromio and S. Antipholus now joke about S. Dromio's beating and the passage of time. Just as they're about to be pals again, S. Antipholus notices people approaching. Adriana and Luciana rush in all hot and bothered. Adriana asserts her husband is being strange; he must be divided from himself, since he is divided from her, and she's a part of him. She says separating her from him would be like separating a drop of water from a gulf--so basically, they're stuck together. Adriana also points out that because of their connection, if he cheats, then she's cheating, too, which he would undoubtedly be unhappy about. Basically, while his gender may seem to absolve him of the crime of disloyalty, his adultery would leave her stained, which would in turn dishonor him. This has been a fine strain of logic, but poor S. Antipholus, as he's actually not her husband, is like, \"What in the world?\" He points out that unless he married Adriana in the last two hours since he arrived at Ephesus, he's not actually married to her at all. Adriana insists she sent E. Dromio to bring her husband home to dinner not a few hours ago. Of course, S. Dromio says he's never seen her in his life . S. Antipholus is just as confused about how this strange woman even knows their names . Adriana continues to insist on standing by her man , and demands that he stand by her. S. Antipholus, being unable to change the woman's mind, decides he must've married her in a dream--or he's currently in a dream--so the best thing to do is ride the high until he figures out what's actually going on. S. Dromio declares Ephesus is a fairyland full of bewitching things, and he too decides to roll with the confusion. Adriana, not to be beaten, demands that the confused S. Antipholus come with her to dinner. She charges S. Dromio to guard the gate and let nobody in. S. Antipholus follows along, given that these ladies seem to know him better than he does.", "analysis": ""}
SCENE II.

A public place._

  _Enter _ANTIPHOLUS of Syracuse_._

_Ant. S._ The gold I gave to Dromio is laid up
Safe at the Centaur; and the heedful slave
Is wander'd forth, in care to seek me out
By computation and mine host's report.
I could not speak with Dromio since at first                         5
I sent him from the mart. See, here he comes.

  _Enter _DROMIO of Syracuse_._

How now, sir! is your merry humour alter'd?
As you love strokes, so jest with me again.
You know no Centaur? you receiv'd no gold?
Your mistress sent to have me home to dinner?                       10
My house was at the Phoenix? Wast thou mad,
That thus so madly thou didst answer me?

_Dro. S._ What answer, sir? when spake I such a word?

_Ant. S._ Even now, even here, not half an hour since.

_Dro. S._ I did not see you since you sent me hence,                15
Home to the Centaur, with the gold you gave me.

_Ant. S._ Villain, thou didst deny the gold's receipt,
And told'st me of a mistress and a dinner;
For which, I hope, thou felt'st I was displeased.

_Dro. S._ I am glad to see you in this merry vein:                  20
What means this jest? I pray you, master, tell me.

_Ant. S._ Yea, dost thou jeer and flout me in the teeth?
Think'st thou I jest? Hold, take thou that, and that.
    [_Beating him._

_Dro. S._ Hold, sir, for God's sake! now your jest is earnest:
Upon what bargain do you give it me?                                25

_Ant. S._ Because that I familiarly sometimes
Do use you for my fool, and chat with you,
Your sauciness will jest upon my love,
And make a common of my serious hours.
When the sun shines let foolish gnats make sport,                   30
But creep in crannies when he hides his beams.
If you will jest with me, know my aspect,
And fashion your demeanour to my looks,
Or I will beat this method in your sconce.

_Dro. S._ Sconce call you it? so you would leave battering,         35
I had rather have it a head: an you use these blows
long, I must get a sconce for my head, and insconce it
too; or else I shall seek my wit in my shoulders. But,
I pray, sir, why am I beaten?

_Ant. S._ Dost thou not know?                                       40

_Dro. S._ Nothing, sir, but that I am beaten.

_Ant. S._ Shall I tell you why?

_Dro. S._ Ay, sir, and wherefore; for they say every
why hath a wherefore.

_Ant. S._ Why, first,--for flouting me; and then, wherefore,--      45
For urging it the second time to me.

_Dro. S._ Was there ever any man thus beaten out of season,
When in the why and the wherefore is neither rhyme nor reason?
Well, sir, I thank you.

_Ant. S._ Thank me, sir! for what?                                  50

_Dro. S._ Marry, sir, for this something that you gave
me for nothing.

_Ant. S._ I'll make you amends next, to give you nothing
for something. But say, sir, is it dinner-time?

_Dro. S._ No, sir: I think the meat wants that I have.              55

_Ant. S._ In good time, sir; what's that?

_Dro. S._ Basting.

_Ant. S._ Well, sir, then 'twill be dry.

_Dro. S._ If it be, sir, I pray you, eat none of it.

_Ant. S._ Your reason?                                              60

_Dro. S._ Lest it make you choleric, and purchase me
another dry basting.

_Ant. S._ Well, sir, learn to jest in good time: there's a
time for all things.

_Dro. S._ I durst have denied that, before you were so              65
choleric.

_Ant. S._ By what rule, sir?

_Dro. S._ Marry, sir, by a rule as plain as the plain bald
pate of father Time himself.

_Ant. S._ Let's hear it.                                            70

_Dro. S._ There's no time for a man to recover his hair
that grows bald by nature.

_Ant. S._ May he not do it by fine and recovery?

_Dro. S._ Yes, to pay a fine for a periwig, and recover
the lost hair of another man.                                       75

_Ant. S._ Why is Time such a niggard of hair, being, as
it is, so plentiful an excrement?

_Dro. S._ Because it is a blessing that he bestows on
beasts: and what he hath scanted men in hair, he hath
given them in wit.                                                  80

_Ant. S._ Why, but there's many a man hath more hair
than wit.

_Dro. S._ Not a man of those but he hath the wit to
lose his hair.

_Ant. S._ Why, thou didst conclude hairy men plain                  85
dealers without wit.

_Dro. S._ The plainer dealer, the sooner lost: yet he
loseth it in a kind of jollity.

_Ant. S._ For what reason?

_Dro. S._ For two; and sound ones too.                              90

_Ant. S._ Nay, not sound, I pray you.

_Dro. S._ Sure ones, then.

_Ant. S._ Nay, not sure, in a thing falsing.

_Dro. S._ Certain ones, then.

_Ant. S._ Name them.                                                95

_Dro. S._ The one, to save the money that he spends in
trimming; the other, that at dinner they should not drop
in his porridge.

_Ant. S._ You would all this time have proved there is
no time for all things.                                            100

_Dro. S._ Marry, and did, sir; namely, no time to recover
hair lost by nature.

_Ant. S._ But your reason was not substantial, why
there is no time to recover.

_Dro. S._ Thus I mend it: Time himself is bald, and                105
therefore to the world's end will have bald followers.

_Ant. S._ I knew 'twould be a bald conclusion:
But, soft! who wafts us yonder?

  _Enter ADRIANA and LUCIANA._

_Adr._ Ay, ay, Antipholus, look strange and frown:
Some other mistress hath thy sweet aspects;                        110
I am not Adriana nor thy wife.
The time was once when thou unurged wouldst vow
That never words were music to thine ear,
That never object pleasing in thine eye,
That never touch well welcome to thy hand,                         115
That never meat sweet-savour'd in thy taste,
Unless I spake, or look'd, or touch'd, or carved to thee.
How comes it now, my husband, O, how comes it,
That thou art then estranged from thyself?
Thyself I call it, being strange to me,                            120
That, undividable, incorporate,
Am better than thy dear self's better part.
Ah, do not tear away thyself from me!
For know, my love, as easy mayst thou fall
A drop of water in the breaking gulf,                              125
And take unmingled thence that drop again,
Without addition or diminishing,
As take from me thyself, and not me too.
How dearly would it touch thee to the quick,
Shouldst thou but hear I were licentious,                          130
And that this body, consecrate to thee,
By ruffian lust should be contaminate!
Wouldst thou not spit at me and spurn at me,
And hurl the name of husband in my face,
And tear the stain'd skin off my harlot-brow,                      135
And from my false hand cut the wedding-ring,
And break it with a deep-divorcing vow?
I know thou canst; and therefore see thou do it.
I am possess'd with an adulterate blot;
My blood is mingled with the crime of lust:                        140
For if we two be one, and thou play false,
I do digest the poison of thy flesh,
Being strumpeted by thy contagion.
Keep, then, fair league and truce with thy true bed;
I live distain'd, thou undishonoured.                              145

_Ant. S._ Plead you to me, fair dame? I know you not:
In Ephesus I am but two hours old,
As strange unto your town as to your talk;
Who, every word by all my wit being scann'd,
Wants wit in all one word to understand.                           150

_Luc._ Fie, brother! how the world is changed with you!
When were you wont to use my sister thus?
She sent for you by Dromio home to dinner.

_Ant. S._ By Dromio?

_Dro. S._ By me?                                                   155

_Adr._ By thee; and this thou didst return from him,
That he did buffet thee, and, in his blows,
Denied my house for his, me for his wife.

_Ant. S._ Did you converse, sir, with this gentlewoman?
What is the course and drift of your compact?                      160

_Dro. S._ I, sir? I never saw her till this time.

_Ant. S._ Villain, thou liest; for even her very words
Didst thou deliver to me on the mart.

_Dro. S._ I never spake with her in all my life.

_Ant. S._ How can she thus, then, call us by our names,            165
Unless it be by inspiration.

_Adr._ How ill agrees it with your gravity
To counterfeit thus grossly with your slave,
Abetting him to thwart me in my mood!
Be it my wrong you are from me exempt,                             170
But wrong not that wrong with a more contempt.
Come, I will fasten on this sleeve of thine:
Thou art an elm, my husband, I a vine,
Whose weakness, married to thy stronger state,
Makes me with thy strength to communicate:                         175
If aught possess thee from me, it is dross,
Usurping ivy, brier, or idle moss;
Who, all for want of pruning, with intrusion
Infect thy sap, and live on thy confusion.

_Ant. S._ To me she speaks; she moves me for her theme:            180
What, was I married to her in my dream?
Or sleep I now, and think I hear all this?
What error drives our eyes and ears amiss?
Until I know this sure uncertainty,
I'll entertain the offer'd fallacy.                                185

_Luc._ Dromio, go bid the servants spread for dinner.

_Dro. S._ O, for my beads! I cross me for a sinner.
This is the fairy land;--O spite of spites!
We talk with goblins, owls, and sprites:
If we obey them not, this will ensue,                              190
They'll suck our breath, or pinch us black and blue.

_Luc._ Why pratest thou to thyself, and answer'st not?
Dromio, thou drone, thou snail, thou slug, thou sot!

_Dro. S._ I am transformed, master, am I not?

_Ant. S._ I think thou art in mind, and so am I.                   195

_Dro. S._ Nay, master, both in mind and in my shape.

_Ant. S._ Thou hast thine own form.

_Dro. S._                          No, I am an ape.

_Luc._ If thou art chang'd to aught, 'tis to an ass.

_Dro. S._ 'Tis true; she rides me, and I long for grass.
'Tis so, I am an ass; else it could never be                       200
But I should know her as well as she knows me.

_Adr._ Come, come, no longer will I be a fool,
To put the finger in the eye and weep,
Whilst man and master laughs my woes to scorn.
Come, sir, to dinner. Dromio, keep the gate.                       205
Husband, I'll dine above with you to-day,
And shrive you of a thousand idle pranks.
Sirrah, if any ask you for your master,
Say he dines forth, and let no creature enter.
Come, sister. Dromio, play the porter well.                        210

_Ant. S._ Am I in earth, in heaven, or in hell?
Sleeping or waking? mad or well-advised?
Known unto these, and to myself disguised!
I'll say as they say, and persever so,
And in this mist at all adventures go.                             215

_Dro. S._ Master, shall I be porter at the gate?

_Adr._ Ay; and let none enter, lest I break your pate.

_Luc._ Come, come, Antipholus, we dine too late.

    [_Exeunt._



  NOTES: II, 2.

  SCENE II.] Capell. SCENE IV. Pope.
  A public place.] Capell. A street. Pope.
  3, 4, 5: _out By ... report. I_] F1 F2 F3. _out By ... report, I_ F4.
    _out. By ... report, I_ Rowe.
  12: _didst_] _did didst_ F1.
  23: Beating him] Beats Dro. Ff.
  28: _jest_] _jet_ Dyce.
  29: _common_] _comedy_ Hanmer.
  35-107: Pope marks as spurious.
  38: _else_] om. Capell.
  45: _Why, first_] _First, why_ Capell.
  53: _next, to_] _next time,_ Capell conj.
  _to_] _and_ Collier MS.
  59: _none_] F1. _not_ F2 F3 F4.
  76: _hair_] _hair to men_ Capell.
  79: _men_] Pope, ed. 2 (Theobald). _them_ Ff.
  91: _sound_] F1. _sound ones_ F2 F3 F4.
  93: _falsing_] _falling_ Heath conj.
  97: _trimming_] Rowe. _trying_ Ff. _tyring_ Pope. _'tiring_ Collier.
  101: _no time_] F2 F3 F4. _in no time_ F1. _e'en no time_ Collier
    (Malone conj.).
  110: _thy_] F1. _some_ F2 F3 F4.
  111: _not ... nor_] _but ... and_ Capell conj.
  112: _unurged_] _unurg'dst_ Pope.
  117: _or look'd, or_] _look'd,_ Steevens.
  _to thee_] om. Pope. _thee_ S. Walker conj.
  119: _then_] _thus_ Rowe.
  130: _but_] F1. om. F2 F3 F4.
  135: _off_] Hanmer. _of_ Ff.
  138: _canst_] _wouldst_ Hanmer.
  140: _crime_] _grime_ Warburton.
  142: _thy_] F1. _my_ F2 F3 F4.
  143: _contagion_] _catagion_ F4.
  145: _distain'd_] _unstain'd_ Hanmer (Theobald conj.).
    _dis-stain'd_ Theobald. _distained_ Heath conj.
  _undishonoured_] _dishonoured_ Heath conj.
  149, 150: Marked as spurious by Pope.
  _Who, ... Wants_] _Whose every ..., Want_ Becket conj.
  150: _Wants_] Ff. _Want_ Johnson.
  155: _By me?_] Pope. _By me._ Ff.
  156: _this_] F1, Capell. _thus_ F2 F3 F4.
  167: _your_] _you_ F2.
  174: _stronger_] F4. _stranger_ F1 F2 F3.
  180-185: Marked 'aside' by Capell.
  180: _moves_] _means_ Collier MS.
  183: _drives_] _draws_ Collier MS.
  184: _sure uncertainty_] _sure: uncertainly_ Becket conj.
  185: _offer'd_] Capell. _free'd_ Ff. _favour'd_ Pope.
    _proffered_ Collier MS.
  187-201: Marked as spurious by Pope.
  189: _talk_] _walk and talk_ Anon. conj.
  _goblins_] _ghosts and goblins_ Lettsom conj.
  _owls_] _ouphs_ Theobald.
  _sprites_] F1. _elves sprites_ F2 F3 F4. _elvish sprites_
    Rowe (ed. 2). _elves and sprites_ Collier MS.
  191: _or_] _and_ Theobald.
  192: _and answer'st not?_] F1. om. F2 F3 F4.
  193: _Dromio, thou drone, thou snail_] Theobald.
    _Dromio, thou Dromio, thou snaile_ F1.
    _Dromio, thou Dromio, snaile_ F2 F3 F4.
  194: _am I not?_] Ff. _am not I?_ Theobald.
  203: _the eye_] _thy eye_ F2 F3.
  204: _laughs_] Ff. _laugh_ Pope.
  211-215: Marked as 'aside' by Capell.





Act II, Scene ii
Back at the marketplace of Ephesus, S. Antipholus is confused. He found out that the gold he sent with S. Dromio did indeed make it to the Centaur. After getting a room at the inn, S. Dromio apparently left the place in search of S. Antipholus. S. Antipholus doesn't think it makes sense that S. Antipholus has already seen S. Dromio, given the timing of the whole thing. When S. Antipholus does see S. Dromio , he begins to question him about his earlier requests and the whole having-a-wife-and-being-late-for-dinner business. S. Dromio is rightfully confused, and says he definitely didn't ask S. Antipholus about a wife and dinner and all that jazz. S. Dromio assures his master that this is the first time he's seen S. Antipholus since heading off to the Centaur. Still, S. Dromio says it's nice to see his master in such a merry, joking mood. However, S. Antipholus is upset and beats S. Dromio. S. Antipholus says it's fine for them to be familiar friends when S. Antipholus is in a good mood, but otherwise S. Dromio should know his place. In other words, S. Antipholus doesn't want to be teased when he's in a serious mood. S. Dromio and S. Antipholus now joke about S. Dromio's beating and the passage of time. Just as they're about to be pals again, S. Antipholus notices people approaching. Adriana and Luciana rush in all hot and bothered. Adriana asserts her husband is being strange; he must be divided from himself, since he is divided from her, and she's a part of him. She says separating her from him would be like separating a drop of water from a gulf--so basically, they're stuck together. Adriana also points out that because of their connection, if he cheats, then she's cheating, too, which he would undoubtedly be unhappy about. Basically, while his gender may seem to absolve him of the crime of disloyalty, his adultery would leave her stained, which would in turn dishonor him. This has been a fine strain of logic, but poor S. Antipholus, as he's actually not her husband, is like, "What in the world?" He points out that unless he married Adriana in the last two hours since he arrived at Ephesus, he's not actually married to her at all. Adriana insists she sent E. Dromio to bring her husband home to dinner not a few hours ago. Of course, S. Dromio says he's never seen her in his life . S. Antipholus is just as confused about how this strange woman even knows their names . Adriana continues to insist on standing by her man , and demands that he stand by her. S. Antipholus, being unable to change the woman's mind, decides he must've married her in a dream--or he's currently in a dream--so the best thing to do is ride the high until he figures out what's actually going on. S. Dromio declares Ephesus is a fairyland full of bewitching things, and he too decides to roll with the confusion. Adriana, not to be beaten, demands that the confused S. Antipholus come with her to dinner. She charges S. Dromio to guard the gate and let nobody in. S. Antipholus follows along, given that these ladies seem to know him better than he does.