Merlin 1. Chapter 1

**So last night's episode 'The Dark Tower' actually broke my heart but made me love Merlin even more. I'm going to miss Elyan and I am so annoyed poor Gwen is in trouble again but they better resolve it this time none of that 'let's just forgive' stuff. Anyway I thought I would do a different take on the end of the episode and just see where it goes (probably not far). Your reviews and thoughts are appreciated! **

'It's not real, it's not real' Gwen repeated the mantra over and over hands clasped over her ears but it did not stop the screams. She was backed into a corner on the far side of that dreaded room, tears rolling down her face as she heard the screaming bleed into her ears. Shaking from the terror she squeezed her eyes shut as the tears continued to leak out

'Just let me die' she pleaded 'Let it end, I can't take this anymore' she opened her eyes a crack and her blurry vision produced an image of her brother laughing with a vindictive smirk, he morphed into her father, and then Arthur. Gwen screamed as their laughs assaulted her ears. She tugged desperately at her hair pulling out chunks.

'Make it stop' she sobbed 'Why won't it stop?

Arthur made his way up the staircase with a growing sense of trepidation. For all of Merlin's misgivings he was right a scary amount of the time. This was too easy for Morgana. She was playing with them, of that he was certain, but nothing would stop him from saving Guinevere she was everything to him.

As they reached went through the door arrows flew at them and it was only the knight's reflexes that stopped them from being killed. 'The beginning of the trap' Arthur thought grimly

"It must be set off by pressure on the stones" Elyan stated "We can use our swords to set them off before we move"

"Agreed but we need to be quick, the longer we take" he breathed deeply unable to finish his sentence. The knights were already finishing it in their minds, they didn't want to imagine what horrors could be happening to their Queen if they were too late. Slowly the knights progressed across the room, a few near misses and an arrow in Leon's arm was the worst of it.

Cautiously they opened the door to the next room and found a single sword suspended in the middle, no sooner had Arthur taken a step in did it assume an offensive posture.

"I believe" said Arthur "We will not get past this without a fight"

"At least it can't see us" Gawain commented unhelpfully

"Somehow Gawain I don't think it needs to" Percival replied

Without warning Arthur lunged at the sword with his own, battering it but the sword gave as good as it got. The other knights attempted to join the fight but it was difficult to avoid hitting each other when their target was so small.

"How the hell are we ever going to defeat something that can't be killed?" Gawain shouted punctuating his words with swipes of his sword. Merlin, who was without a sword and standing at the side of the room looked about desperately, he was sure his magic could help but without a doubt he would be exposed. Torn as it was Gwen's life at stake he primed himself to help.

"The window!" Elyan shouted "Merlin open it" Nearly falling over himself to get round the room, he got to the window. By now the knights were tiring from the days of exhaustion and a seemingly endless battle.

"Move!" Percival shouted as Arthur managed to fight the sword out the window and Merlin slammed it shut. He dropped against it breathing a sigh of relief only to fall over when the sword slammed into the wooden covering mere inches from his head. Arthur pulled Merlin out the way and after a brief inspection making sure he was fine the reason behind their mission was returned to him.

"Let's go" he jogged out of the room, his knights on his heels. There were met with more stairs which Arthur climbed at a surprising pace. Surviving on adrenaline alone the only though in his head was Guinevere. They reached the end of the stairs and tore into a passageway met by a smirking Morgana.

"Well Done brother I didn't imagine you would make it this far"

"Where's Guinevere?" Arthur asked his voice low. Just as he spoke a terrible scream pierced the air.

"Guinevere?" he yelled noticing for the first time that Morgana was standing in front of a door. Without thinking he took a step towards the door and was forced backwards by some invisible force. Morgana's eyes glowed a satisfying gold.

"Oh I don't think you want to go in there" she sneered "And did you really think I would just let you, when I can finally kill you and take what is mine?"

"Guinevere is the Queen and nothing you can do will ever change that" This time it was Gawain who spoke up

"Now you don't really believe that do you, considering my power" Morgana replied, vindictive as ever. Merlin stood at the back seething but thinking. If he could just curb Morgana's magic enough for Arthur to get past her.

"I'd prepare to say goodbye now if I were you" she snapped and raised her hand preparing her final incantation but nothing happened. In the background Merlin's eyes flashed gold but everyone was far too preoccupied to notice. Morgana tried again but still nothing.

'Emrys' she though frantically 'How is he doing it?' Arthur's knights advanced on her and held her at multiple sword points while Arthur ran through the door she had been previously guarding. All this time he could here Guinevere's whimpers and screams.

The room he entered was pitch black at first but he could hear her. As his eyes grew accustomed to the dark he looked around desperately for his wife. When he saw his heart stopped and his world seemed to collapse in on him. He had never seen her look like this. She was huddled at the far end by the wall, curled up in a tight ball with her hands over her ears, tears staining her face and shaking. He ran over to her falling to his knees beside her.

"Guinevere" he said in a voice which sounded as broken as she looked "Guinevere it's me open your eyes"

"No it's not you, it's never you"

"Guinevere I swear it's me, you're safe"

"Stay away from me" she screamed her eyes still tight shut, more tears falling

"Guinevere please it is me" he pleaded, tears now falling down his own face at the sight of his beloved. "Just open your eyes". Shaking Guinevere shook her head but her eyes seemed to disobey. They opened slightly to take in the figure kneeling next to her but she shut them again firmly

'He's not there' she thought 'I will open my eyes again and he will have gone'

"Guinevere" Arthur pleaded and she opened them one last time and saw the same figure kneeling next to her.

"Arthur?" she whispered

"Yes it's me, I'm here you're safe" he whispered tears still falling. She opened her eyes fully and met his gaze, the warmth in it but at the same time complete distress and she knew it was him. His counterpart, her vision, had been given ice cold eyes. She drew herself up and fell into his arms tears washing fresh down her face. She clung onto him like a life line, truly believing he would disappear if she let him go.

"I've got you" he repeated over and over into her hair, just relishing the feel of her back in his arms. "Come on we need to get out of here" he said and helped her to her feet. Still clinging on to him she stumbled but Arthur never let her go either.

They made it back out into the corridor where Morgana was still cornered and the other knights, especially Elyan breathed a sigh of relief at seeing their Queen.

"I should run you through Morgana" Arthur said quietly the anger trembling his voice. He transferred a reluctant to let go Gwen to Merlin and turned to face Morgana.

"Yes but we both know you haven't got the guts to even try it" she sneered, remarkably confident for someone in her position. "Go on then" she baited "Kill me" Arthur drew his sword but hesitated.

In that moment all hell broke loose. Morgana felt her magic return to her and she threw Arthur backwards catching his sword. Before anyone knew what had happened she had thrown it at Gwen who was unable to move at by Merlin. Before Merlin even had a chance to stop the sword, Elyan leapt out throwing himself in front of the swords path and it hit home at his heart. He hit the floor and Gwen screamed throwing herself forward onto Elyan. Gawain yelled and swung his sword at Morgana knocking her against the wall and onto the floor, unconscious. Arthur scrambled to Elyan's side to find Gwen already trying to stop the blood from the wound.

"You're ok" he smiled weakly

"I'm fine, I always have been as long as you're here" She tried to smile back

"You're fine without me, I wouldn't be without you"

"No" she shook her head tears falling onto Elyan's face

"I had to save you" he strained fighting to keep his grip on reality

"Father would be so proud of you" she whispered smiling he smiled as his eyes shut "Don't go" she pleaded "Elyan, please come back" she sobbed and let the sadness overtake her as she hugged his body close.

**Wow, that was sad to write! I'm planning a second chapter if I get a good response. Seriously though I just listened to so much sad music to get this out, anyway please review! **


	2. Chapter 2

**Ok so big apologies to all you wonderful people who have read the first chapter. This is the second time I have typed it out as it was original going to be posted the following Tuesday but then my laptop got a virus and I have had to reset it to factory settings, before I got the chance to back it all up. Luckily I did back it up about a month ago (so my 2000 strong iTunes collections was saved!) but I lost the chapter and it took me ages to solve the problem. Anyway please read and review!**

Gwen didn't really remember much of the following hours. She seemed to spend an eternity cradling Elyan's body as it grew cold in the arms of death. At some point she had been pulled gently away and into the comforting arms of her husband, but Gwen barely noticed. Her mind seemed to have left her body with Elyan's death and the feisty, strong woman who had relentlessly fought against Morgana's mind games had disappeared. She believed she had been carried down the tower as the strength had long since departed her legs.

Arthur guided Guinevere sombrely back through the previously impenetrable forest. She didn't seem to be with them in her mind, more of a shell they carried with them. He offered her as much support as he could but carrying her had quickly become impossible through the thick forest. Merlin led the slow parade with Gwain trailing at the back. Guilt ran thickly within all the knights as they all blamed themselves for not doing more. For Gwaine it was probably the most pain he had felt in a long time, as Elyan and he had been close because they had both done next to nothing before being granted a knighthood. Leon was of noble blood; both Lancelot and Percival had tried to become knights by helping out villagers and fighting for justice. Elyan had been a drifter just living how he pleased much like Gwaine. Through all the battles they had fought and ambushes survived Gwaine had begun to believe it was inevitable that things would always turn out ok in the end, but not this time.

Merlin walked in front focusing on finding a quick route out instead of the raw pain of loss that was threatening to overtake him. Merlin had though all along that Camelot's prospering would not last and now it seemed Camelot was truly at its darkest hour, its monarchy threatened, and its destiny still undecided by the cruel hands of fate. He spared a quick glance over his shoulder at his King and Queen as they followed him through the undergrowth. Arthur's face was easy to read as the naked pain was displayed clearly for all to see as he helped his wife. Gwen just appeared to be dead behind her eyes. There was no expression on her face, the light that normally sat behind her eyes had been extinguished. In fact Merlin had a feeling if they just set her down and left her she would not even notice, let alone try and do anything. He turned his focus back to their journey as he saw the undergrowth was lessening somewhat. He felt white hot anger rise up within him at Morgana and all the pain she had caused. He made a silent vow to make her pay for everything she had done.

As they reached the edge of the forest and stood blinking in the daylight it seemed surreal. Arthur didn't believe the sun should be shining and so bright, not when something so terrible had happened, and yet it was. He tightened his grip on Guinevere ever so slightly as though scared she may disappear; she made no attempt to return the hold though. They found there horses where they had been tethered grazing quietly. As the knights mounted it was bitter irony that Elyan's horse was just left standing by the tree looking almost sad at the absence of his rider. Arthur looked at Merlin who gave an almost imperceptible nod and tied the reins of Elyan's horse to his own. Arthur busied himself with getting Gwen onto his horse and then hoisted himself up behind her. Almost immediately she sank against him and he arranged his reins so he could hold both them and his wife at the same time.

The journey back to Camelot was slow and silent only stopping occasionally to let the horses drink. Gwen hardly moved falling in and out of sleep. Never truly sleeping but she did not seem to be fully awake either. They mostly stayed away from the outlying villages not wanting to attract any attention but as night drew closer and the visibility dropped they stopped a short way away from a village and sheltered by the edge of the forest. Leon and Gwain left to find them some dinner from the village without drawing attention to their presence. Merlin carried on doing unnecessary tasks to keep himself occupied. Arthur though about reprimanding him as his constant movement was getting on Arthur's nerves but he stopped himself.

'Let him cope in his own way' Arthur thought. He arranged his cloak around Guinevere even though she was sitting close to the fire. Dinner followed in much the same ways as the journey. The only discussion was on the quickest way back to the city, and how long they thought it would take. No one was particularly hungry, not even Merlin. As the fire started to die down Merlin placed the final wood on it to keep it going and everyone laid down to sleep. In truth, there was very little sleeping that night from everyone as their pain kept them company throughout. Gwen was slouched in Arthur's arms against the trunk of a tree and despite having displayed little emotion all day she clung onto him like an anchor as her grief shook her. Arthur held her fast all night, praying for the morning light. His heart tore itself up every time she shook and he didn't know how he was going to bear seeing her like this until her recovery.

Only an hour after dawn they were ready to move on and soon enough the top of the castle towers could be seen from the hill side. The knights formed a protective perimeter around Arthur's horse without even thinking. Riding through the lower town would be hard on all of them, especially if the townspeople didn't figure out something was wrong and realise they were a knight missing. Arthur mentally braced himself for the ride in as he banished as much emotion as he could from his face. He caught Merlin's eye and saw the understanding there. Merlin knew he had to appear strong for his people but he also knew it was killing Arthur to hide himself and not be able to protect Gwen from the prying eyes.

They crossed through the gates at a slower pace and the town's people started coming out to greet them but stopped short noticing the mood almost straight away. People were shocked at seeing their Queen looking so defeated in the arms of her husband and it was then that the extra horse was noticed. People bowed their heads in respect, lining the streets in silence. Arthur almost lost it right there but somehow managed to carry on across the bridge to the main stairs. He carefully untangled himself from the reins and slid off his horse. He held out his arms to allow Gwen to get down. As her feet touched the ground, her knees buckled and she fell from Arthur's grasp onto the stairs. It was like the floodgates had been opened as she started crying again not for her fall but for her brother. She sounded almost like a wounded animal and try as she might she couldn't stop. People were gathered around the courtyard in small clumps grieving themselves as they watched their Queen break down.

Arthur dropped to the ground next to her and held her tight until her tears grew silent. In one move he swept her into his arms and walked inside the castle with her, away from the outside world.

**Hope that makes up for the wait, I am so excited for tonight's episode, I seriously hope the enchantment breaks. I have work every Saturday so I record it and watch it at like half eleven, but it is so worth it!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Once again you guys have given me an amazing response, and I love coming home from work to all your reviews. Wasn't Merlin great on Saturday?! I swear Colin Morgan deserves an award for his acting. I'm glad Arthur finds out about Gwen being enchanted next week and I hope it all gets resolved AND Dragoon the great is back again. I love old Merlin he makes me giggle! Anyway please keep up the reviews and enjoy the chapter!**

Gwen sat in the middle of the bed, knees hunched up to her chest. The same blank expression adorned her face as she stared into space barely moving. Never in her life had she felt so empty, so alone. She felt like a thin veil was separating her from the rest of the world, she could take in what was going on around her but make no sense of it. She knew Arthur was in the doorway to their quarters talking to Merlin but their words made no sense. Gaius had looked her over and bandaged some of her cuts but not a word he had said had sunk in.

Pain was still running through her body but to Guinevere it was merely superficial compared to the bone shattering ache she felt all over at the gaping great hole inside her heart. Despite this not being the first death in her family it tore her apart knowing that he was her last blood relative. Yet she still couldn't understand why he was not coming back.

'He promised me' she thought 'after he became a knight he promised he would never hurt me again, and now he's broken that promise' Gwen felt fresh tears flood her eyes and for the first time she made the effort to wipe them away. She felt pressure next to her and turned her head to see Arthur sitting carefully on the edge of the mattress.

"Guinevere?" he asked cautiously afraid to startle her. Guinevere's eyes snapped up to meet Arthur's. Distressed brown to the warmest blue. With a strangled sob Gwen threw herself into Arthur's arms and clung onto him as though her life depended on it. Arthur gathered her up, moving himself fully onto their bed, and laid her head on his chest and then his head on hers.

"I've got you" he whispered over and over, almost like a prayer as Gwen sobbed

"Why did he have to die?" Gwen whimpered "He was so young" Arthur felt tears leaking out of his own eyes at his wife's words for which he had no answer. She was right Elyan was too young and the guilt of his death weighed heavily down on Arthur's conscience as someone else he had failed to save. Arthur cradled his wife as her sobs began to subside as the tiredness eventually won out, Arthur did not get the oblivion of sleep however. He sat still for what must have been over an hour until he heard a timid knock at the door.

"Come" he said without even thinking. The door opened slowly to reveal Merlin carrying two trays which he walked in and set down on the table. Arthur carefully moved out from behind Gwen and set her down in the blankets, covering her gently so as not to disturb her.

"I wasn't sure if you'd be hungry" Merlin said distractedly bustling about doing nothing in particular.

"Thank you Merlin" Arthur said quietly. Merlin nodded but still did not look Arthur's way. Sensing his friends pain Arthur put a hand on Merlin's shoulder, offering support. It was only then that Merlin looked up and Arthur saw the pain behind his eyes, something he was sure that was mirrored in his own. Evidence of tears around his cheeks reminded Arthur of the friendship Merlin and Elyan had shared. He patted Merlin's shoulder.

"Take the night off, spend some time with Gaius"

"Thank you sire" he replied hoarsely and left the room silently, something of a novelty but darkened by the circumstances.

Arthur glanced at his sleeping wife and decided against waking her for dinner as he knew she had barely slept. He looked under one of the plate coverings at the beef that had been prepared and felt his stomach twinge. He really didn't feel like eating anything so he just placed the lid back down. His muscles aching he stripped off his belt and shoes before carefully climbing into bed. He wrapped his arm around Guinevere's small form and drew her close. Her breathing was still slightly laboured as she slept restlessly. He shut his eyes and prayed quietly for the blissful oblivion of sleep to come and let him forget the day's horrors for just a little while.

It was dark, she couldn't move. The laughing had returned.

Arthur had never been a light sleeper, particularly after busy days but tonight seemed to be the exception. It was as though he was on edge since drifting off. He wasn't sure exactly what had woken him at first as he struggled to get his bearings in the gloom but a small whimper from his side quickly defined it. Next to him Guinevere was twisting desperately as though trying to escape from bonds that he could not see. Not for the first time that day Arthur's heart broke for her. She whimpered again.

"No please, don't" Carefully Arthur put his hand on her shoulder.

"Guinevere, wake up" she barely stirred, still caught in the throes of her nightmare

"Guinevere please wake up, you're safe now I promise" Tenderly he lifted her more into his arms and shook her firmly. She continued to squirm, seemingly more alarmed at being caught for real, and her whimpers got louder and tears began streaming out from under her eyelids. Arthur did not break with her, no matter how much he wanted to he just pulled her closer to his chest.

"Guinevere!" her eyes snapped open.

"Arthur?" she questioned timidly

"It's me, I'm right here" he placed his hand over hers "See? You can feel me, this is not an illusion your dream was" Guinevere clutched at his shirt gratefully holding her still shaking head to his chest. Arthur slowly stroked her mass of curls, murmuring words of comfort.

"It was so real, I couldn't move, I" her voice broke "I'm so weak"

"Guinevere you are not weak" Arthur exclaimed withdrawing slightly and looking her in the eye "You have survived a terrible ordeal" his voice softened "suffered a terrible loss, it is understandable that you are disturbed"

"It doesn't seem like it to me" she said simply

"Well you're wrong" Arthur said placing her head back on his chest and slouching back on the pillows " and I'm the King so you have to listen to me" his feeble attempt at humour got a watery chuckle out of Gwen.

Neither of them went fully back to sleep that night, they drifted in and out together. Guinevere never wanting to return to her nightmares and Arthur never wanting to leave his Queen feeling alone.

**I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT'S THE END OF THE MERLIN TV SERIES! I NEARLY CRIED WHEN I FOUND OUT AS DID ALL MY FRIENDS. I'm going to miss it so much! There is still talk of movies but my Saturdays are going to be boring now! I think the cast and crew have all been amazing these last 5 years and I'm glad they are ending it in a good place, as long as they don't kill anyone that I don't want them to! Anyway please read and review :)**


	4. Chapter 4

Arthur lay still, barely breathing as the golden light of the dawn filtered through the glass windows. For the first time all night Guinevere was sleeping soundly. While Arthur realised it was probably more due to exhaustion than the reconciliation of her demons he was grateful that, even though it was only for a little while, she was at peace. She lay in his arms and he had her encircled close to his chest trying to shield her from invisible pain.

Ice pierced Arthur's heart as he realised once again how close he had come to losing her, how many times was that now? Ever so gently he slid out from underneath her and carefully rearranged the bed covers to hold her safe so she would not notice the difference. He carefully strolled over to the window and looked out over the courtyard. It was still early and the city was only just beginning to wake up there were a few early street vendors walking about just setting up and in the road to the east a farmer and his wares came steadily over the hill towards the vast city.

'Everything seems so normal' Arthur mused. To him, it did not seem right that in the wake of such a terrible loss that the city was so normal. Losing men was always hard for Arthur no matter what the circumstances but to lose not only a knight of his inner circle but a firm friend tore a little more at his already battered heart. He looked back at Guinevere on the bed and felt anger at the injustice done to her by his demented sister. Guinevere wasn't old but she had been through so much pain and loss, it made Arthur's heart ache, forgetting his own pain on matters.

He raised a hand to his temple and ran it through his hair; the day was going to be long and difficult. Returning his gaze to the courtyard he saw Sir Leon moving things about ready for the knight's early morning training. Almost as if he sensed he was being watched Leon looked up and met Arthur's eyes. He inclined his head slightly in understanding and carried on. Leon was hurting too but understood the need to carry on with as much normalcy as possible to just try and get through the day. Leon huffed and puffed as he moved the armoured dummies just trying to forget the how there would be a knight very noticeably absent from training, not just a knight, his friend.

Back in the royal chambers Arthur slid back into the bed and gently manoeuvred his wife back to his chest. Almost imperceptibly she relaxed against the warm toned muscles of her husband's chest, and drawing comfort from the feel of his wife, Arthur drifted off to sleep.

It was only a short while later that Merlin very quietly knocked at the door and opened it very slowly after hearing no answer. The room was a bit of a mess, one set of curtains open, and the other shut. A cloak was in a heap next to the bed and the shoes had been haphazardly placed by the table which was full of untouched food from the previous night. Merlin carefully directed his gaze at the bed where the covers where tangled but covering both the King and the Queen modestly, thankfully for Merlin. He quietly approached the bed and pulled the curtains around it offering them some privacy if they were to wake while he cleaned. His heart panged for the unending pain the young couple kept going through and also for the reminder of the friend he'd lost. Could he have saved him? Merlin wasn't sure but guilt always weighed so heavily on his shoulders a little more was almost natural. He always believed there was so much he could have prevented, so much suffering he could have stopped. He moved silently around the chambers tidying up and cleaning, he couldn't remember the last time he was so quiet. Lastly he went out into the corridor and fetched the breakfast dishes to replace the dinner with. Merlin had prepared it carefully for his King and Queen. It was fruit and bread with normal water, hardly the grandeur befitting royals but he felt it would appease their appetites, however small, without being too heavy. Just as he finished laying down the dishes a movement from the bed caught his eye. The curtain had been opened by a now awake Gwen who was perched precariously on the edge of the bed, still half tangled in the sheets.

"Gwen?" Merlin asked cautiously trying not to startle her. On the contrary Guinevere looked up, not at all startled, and straight into Merlin's eyes.

"Good Morning Merlin" she said softly

"Are you?" Merlin started but was cut off

"I am not fine but for the ease of this conversation and all practical purposes I am fine" It was still soft but there was a hollow undertone that Merlin noticed almost straight away. He nodded his head.

"Would you like any breakfast?" Gwen wasn't very hungry, she didn't feel like eating at all but she saw the effort Merlin had put into it and did not want to disappoint him. She nodded

"I will be up in a moment"

Merlin stood back allowing her space, understanding the need to be independent. Carefully Gwen detangled herself from the sheets and spared a glance at her attire, still in her ruined dress, and ignored the rules of propriety for now. She looked at Arthur who was sleeping soundly enveloped in the covers. He had held her all night; he had been there every time she woke up, wiped away all her tears and murmured softly in her ear words of comfort. She moved a lock of his golden hair out of his eyes and placed a hand on his cheek in a feather light caress. No doubt there would be a lot to speak about in the coming days. Taking a deep breath she went to get up, rising slowly so as to not shock her legs after so many days with little action. She made it only a step before her legs gave out from underneath her and she fell.

Merlin was there in a flash before she hit the floor completely.

"I'm sorry" she uttered brokenly and before she knew it the tears had returned, tears of self-pity that she was too weak, tears that disgusted her as she was supposed to be stronger. Merlin pulled her into a firm hug

"You have nothing to apologise for" He said firmly rubbing circles in her back "You are the strongest person I know, it is ok no to be ok" he soothed almost as if he had read her mind. He gently helped her to the breakfast table and into a chair.

"And now my lady" he said with a considerably lighter tone "Breakfast!" and with a little flourish of his wrist he unrolled her napkin.

Gwen chuckled lightly relieved for some levity and reached for the grapes, her favourite. She only put a few on her plate and went to start eating them when a not so subtle cough from Merlin and a raised eye brow at her plate made her add some more to her pile along with a small chunk of bread.

"Hmm" Merlin said "I suppose that will do" although he sneaked another piece of bread onto her plate. Gwen shook her head at his antics and slowly began to eat. She was only on her second grape when there was a quiet knock at the door. Gwen tensed, not ready to deal with any visitors, sensing his friend's distress Merlin went to open it. After a short exchange he returned to the table holding a simple dress over his arm. Gwen looked at it questioningly.

"Gwaine just dropped it off, said he was walking past your old house and thought that it would help"

Gwaine knew her almost better than herself Gwen mused as she held the fabric well worn by time but this had made it soft and it comforted her somehow.

"I am going to change" she said quietly hobbling from the table to the door at the end of their chambers.

"Do you need any help?" Merlin called out and Gwen shook her head fiercely and shut the door.

The slamming of the door brought Arthur out of his sleep with a start, although slightly confused as to what woke him up.

"What's going on?" he asked groggily his eyes still half shut. He blindly reached out next to him and felt the empty sheets

"Guinevere?" he sat up and saw Merlin watching him. "Merlin where is Guinevere?"

Merlin took a moment to react before he pointed at the now shut door.

"She went to get changed" he said hesitantly before rushing "Arthur I think you need to help her"

"Why? She's just getting dre-oh" realisation dawned on Arthur as he took in the barely touched breakfast and disturbed look on Merlin's face. He got up from the bed clad only in his trousers not bothering to put his top on and padded over to the door. He knocked gently.

"Guinevere?" there was no answer so he opened the door slowly. Guinevere's own chambers had always looked barely touched as they spent the majority of their time in the joint chambers. If Arthur had work to do and needed the quiet he would do it in the council rooms so she could remain there in their off hours and relax. The room looked much the same as it always did except for the privacy screen which seemed to have shifted slightly.

"Guinevere?" he repeated, still nothing. Calmly he walked over to the screen and looked round. Gwen was gathered in a heap on the floor half in her clean dress with a blank look on her face and a lone tear rolling down her cheek. Arthur lowered himself down next to her against the shifted screen but she barely moved. He extended his arm around her but she tensed.

"Don't help me" she said through gritted teeth "I don't need help" she shook him off.

"You do need help" Arthur said quietly "Let me help you"

"I shouldn't need help" she whispered darkly "I'm too weak, too weak to be of any use to anyone"

"Guin"

"No don't try and talk me round" she cut him off "If I had been stronger then I would never have taken so long to come out the tower, if I had been stronger Elyan wouldn't have died"

'There it is' thought Arthur 'That's what this is all coming from' He moved towards her ignoring her protests and took her into his arms so she was pulled across his lap, her head buried under his chin.

"It is not your fault Elyan died" he said simply "You did not control his situation or Morgana"

"But if I had been quicker she might not have"

"You don't know that" this time Arthur cut across her "You can't spend the rest of your life thinking what ifs"

"Why did he have to die?" she whispered. Tears returned as her body began to shake, mourning the loss of her brother.

Arthur had no answer for her and simply held her as she clung to him.

This was how Merlin found them as he stood by the doorway to check on his two friends. He found himself feeling guilt at what he was sure he had tried hard enough he could have prevented. He excused himself without notice and went back to sorting the Kings clothes for the day.

**Wow so the finale was so emotional, I'm not afraid to say it I cried for at least half an hour and Christmas day was so depressing! Anyway sorry for the long wait as my laptop decided to crash so this is the second time I've typed this out and also I have my AS Chemistry in two days so, kinda stressed. Anyway I'm about to start writing the next chapter. Please keep up the reviewing! **


	5. Chapter 5

Guinevere sat quietly on the padded bench, her needlework resting in her lap. She had managed to get only a little done before her thoughts stole her concentration. Before she had always found comfort in something as mundane as needlework but today it was not enough to occupy her. It was just after lunch and Arthur had left to take care of some state business. He had not wanted to go at all but it took a gentle reminder from her that Camelot did not run itself.

'I don't know what I ever did to deserve him' she thought. He had always been so good to her especially recently. After she had pulled herself together he had helped her dress. He had been so tender and gentle without smothering her. He had sorted out just the right amount of breakfast for the both of them and arranged her day for her so she didn't have to worry. In short he had relieved her of all her duties not wanting her to feel any pressure, he had wanted to stay with her the entire day but there were some things he could not escape.

'I wonder how he is doing' Guinevere worried knowing that he had been suffering as well from the loss. 'It was so selfless of him to put his feelings aside to help me' Gwen felt herself tear up again at this put she angrily shook herself.

'You have cried enough' she thought angrily 'Stop being so weak'

Arthur sat in down at the round table trying not to notice the very obviously absent chair opposite him as well as the one next to him. Sir Leon was taking the lead in this meeting and for once was only running through the essentials, leaving out the long lists of their military movements much to Arthur's relief.

"The final matter Sire is that of the funeral" he said quietly

"Yes, I've been thinking about that and while it will be a knights funeral as he deserves I will be talking to the Queen about it first" There were nods of approval from around the table

"And his quarters?" Leon questioned not able to bring himself to actually mention Elyan's name

"I would like to do that" for the first time in the meeting Gwaine spoke up.

"Of course" Arthur nodded "Take the time you need, is that everything?"

Leon nodded

"Then you are all dismissed we will meet again in two days" The was the general scraping of chairs as the knights departed but Arthur remained still, staring at the untouched chair. All the knights had files out and only he and Merlin remained.

"Arthur?" Merlin stepped more into the centre of the room away from the wall.

"Why does this keep happening Merlin?" his voice sounded hollow and broken. Merlin had no answer and 'these things happen' hardly seemed appropriate.

"I don't know" he said honestly "You've just got to pick up and keep going"

"What if I don't want to?" Arthur blurted out "What if I am sick and tired of all this rubbish that keeps happening to us" Merlin stayed silent momentarily shocked at his King's outburst.

"Guinevere is in pieces, I am in pieces and this KEEPS HAPPENING" by now Arthur was yelling full force

"My friends are dying; my family betrays me there are two empty seats at this table now how long until it is three? Or four?" Arthur shoved himself out of the chair across until he was right in front of Merlin. "HOW LONG?" he yelled ending it in a strangled sob. Merlin simply wrapped his arms around his friend, letting the King collapse against him under the weight of the pain and pressure he felt. They stayed like that until Arthur pulled back.

"I'm sorry"

"Don't be I understand" Merlin replied albeit slightly awkwardly "Did you actually just apologise to me?" Arthur's lips twitched upwards

"Nope where did you get that idea from, honestly Merlin" Merlin smiled at the return of their familiar banter. Arthur shoved him gently as he started walking.

"Come on Merlin, work to be done"

Arthur opened the door quietly just poking his head round and saw Guinevere sitting exactly where he left her. His heart sank just a little bit at how vacant she looked. He entered the room noiselessly and shut the door behind him. Merlin had gone to prepare some food he was going to try and convince her to eat with him.

"Guinevere?" he asked softly. Gwen's head snapped up.

"Arthur!" the surprise was evident in her face "I didn't hear you come in"

"What are you up to?"

"You know just" she gestured to her untouched needlework, Arthur raised his eyebrow.

"Ok so it was more thinking than sewing" Arthur chuckled slightly and sat down next to her.

"Anything you would like to share?" he asked softly taking her hands. She gripped back and shifted closer to him, discarding her half-hearted sewing.

"Funeral arrangements"

"And?"

"I want him to have a knight's funeral, but not in Camelot, he was too much of a traveller to be tied down to just one place, it was not in his nature"

"I understand, do you have anywhere in mind?"

"I know a place he liked as a child, where we used to play" her voice caught slightly, he drew her into his arms.

"Whatever you say, you have it" Guinevere snuggled into his chest murmuring her thanks into his tunic. They stayed that way for a few precious moments until there was a quiet knock on the door and it was only then that Arthur remembered his original agenda of eating dinner with her.

"Come" Arthur called and Merlin let himself in with the dinner trays, Gwen looked at Arthur questioningly

"Will you eat dinner with me?" Gwen gave him a strange look but nodded, somewhat reluctant to leave her current position. He helped her up and guided her supportively over to the table as she was still having trouble with walking.

"You can go Merlin" Arthur said pointedly and Merlin rolled his eyes as he turned to leave

"Thank you Merlin" Gwen said loudly shooting a small glare at her husband. Merlin turned round and gave a dramatic bow,

"Anytime My Lady" he then turned to Arthur "My royal clotpole" and ran out of the room leaving Gwen chuckling for what felt like the first time in a year. Arthur suppressed his somewhat amused annoyance in favour of enjoying the sound of his wife's laughter. Dinner was a somewhat quiet affair with exchange of small talk about the day, council matters that were pretty much the same everyday but it still gave them something to discuss. By the end of it Arthur was still not satisfied that Gwen had eaten enough to sustain even a small bird but knew that she was trying for him. That only seemed to frustrate his mind further as he though she should be doing this for herself, not to make him feel better. He shook his thoughts from his mind as he rose from the table and walked to Guinevere's chair holding out his hand. She took it and manoeuvred herself off her chair until she was standing in very close proximity to Arthur. He embraced her pulling her even closer and moving them slightly away from the table. He buried his face in her hair and started swaying her very slowly.

"Arthur what are you doing?" Guinevere asked softly, not annoyed but simply curious

"I'm dancing with my wife" he replied and moved his feet slightly one way then the other in a very small circle, supporting the majority of her weight.

"Why?"

"Because we need it" he said simply "Do you remember that evening with the visiting Lord Chance? With the big banquet?"

"Yes" she said softly

"All the dancing, and all I wanted to do was dance with you"

"Yes, and you led me up the North tower and danced with me" Arthur smiled into her

"Underneath the moonlight with just the faint sound of the music"

"Yes" she breathed "Back before all of this started" sub-consciously she drew him slightly tighter

"We are still the same people Guinevere; we've just grown a bit more"

"I know" she whispered burying her head slightly more in his chest.

"Hey" he murmured tilting his head back so she did the same "We're still here"

"I know" she repeated. He titled his head down and brushed her lips gently in a tender kiss that touched her soul, enveloping her body in a warmth she couldn't explain. He withdrew and put her back into their previous hold and continued his small movements. He hummed a quiet tune as they moved, both of them losing themselves in each other.

**Thank you so much for all the reviews I was so overwhelmed people appreciated my writing so much! Please feel free to keep it up **** To answer a few questions that have been asked **

**To 'somegirlinthisworld' Yes I do play the cello and I love it, oh and my exam was a bit of a mess but it was a first go so I expected it.**

**To 'larasmith' Thank you so much for your enthusiasm and that is kind of what my brain was doing as I started writing this story'**

**Feel free to ask any questions and please keep reviewing, you people honestly make my day!**


	6. Chapter 6

The scene before Guinevere was one she hoped she would never have to deal with. The small boat floated off into the mist the flames losing their boldness as they grew smaller. Elyan's cloak and sword were no longer visible under the mist and flames. Gwen barely moved staring emotionlessly at the boat, numb to the cold air and the others around her. She couldn't tell how long she stood there until she felt Arthur's hand at her back gently guiding her away from the bank and towards the horses. She gripped Arthur's other hand tightly but did not mount her ride straight away instead she walked over to Gwaine who was standing a little away still staring at the lake and enveloped him in a hug. He responded tightly gripping her small frame almost desperately, with an emotion he would never show on his face. As she drew back she laid a hand on his face, not a romantic gesture merely a supportive one and he gripped her hand briefly before she retreated to her horse and Arthur. Arthur lifted her up, still wary of how much strength she had after her ordeal but when he went to retract his hand Guinevere held on to them just briefly. Her eyes still drowned in pain as they looked at his. Arthur understood and led her horse over to his tethering them together for the ride home; this was no longer about appearing proper and meeting social standards but about a husband supporting his wife when she needed him most.

As the party rode off for Camelot no one noticed a dark figure standing on a hill in the distance observing them. Morgana Pendragon lowered her hood as she sneered in disgust at the distant figures, her enchantment had not held over the Queen but she was not worried.  
'It does not matter how my brother tries to help her she will fall prey to my magic in the end, what is love over magic?' she smirked as she thought this. Yes the Queen would soon be her pawn to do with what she pleased.

Guinevere sat back in the chair watching the flames dance around the fireplace, her feet pulled up under her dress. The flames brought her no comfort today, which was hardly surprising as she had watched them engulf the last remnants of her brother, but even the warmth felt more like a slow way of suffocating her than comforting her. She looked around the room and all its finery and not for the first time felt like she did not belong. It was Arthur that made her Queen, all she wanted was to be with him and that was supposed to be enough. She doubted her abilities as a monarch and hated the danger she was constantly subjecting her friends to.

'I must be such a burden to Arthur' she thought gloomily 'I can't even defend myself anymore' She curled herself in tighter when a small voice cropped up at the back of her mind.

'Isn't it Arthur's fault all this happened anyway? He made you Queen, he let your brother come on the rescue mission and he was the one who didn't jump in front of the sword' Gwen shook her head fiercely wondering where that had come from.

'No Arthur means everything to me and I mean everything to him, he is suffering from Elyan's death as much as me'. She pulled the soft throw around herself and closed her eyes resolutely ignoring the snide voice, but its work was just beginning.

Arthur slipped into their chambers quietly and was unsurprised to find his wife already asleep. He was only slightly disappointed that it wasn't in his arms.

'Stop it Arthur you can do without comfort for now honestly' he reprimanded himself. He put Elyan's necklace down on the desk intending to give it to Gwen later. It had been passed on to him by Gwaine who had just finished dealing with Elyan's personal belongings. It had resulted in a very painful conversation between Gwaine and himself over what to do with things that could not be passed on. Using a dead man's armour just felt plain wrong, especially when he was as close as a brother. The necklace to be given to Guinevere was one of two, the other of which Gwaine now wore as a reminder of his friend. Arthur turned his attention to Guinevere and walked quietly over to her chair.

"Guinevere" he murmured, no response. Quickly he changed out of his jacket and into his night wear before returning to Guinevere's chair. She had barely moved and if it wasn't for the steady rise and fall of her chest Arthur would have questioned whether she was actually breathing.

'She always is the rest full one' he mused fondly at how she could stay still the entire night while he quite often moved about. The only solution was to have someone, specifically Guinevere in his arms which obviously neither of them objected to at all.

He lifted her carefully without dislodging the throw and carried her to the bed. Laying her on the mattress he moved the throw to the side as he brought the covers up to her. Almost instinctively she gripped them and snuggled in a backwards motion, stunted slightly when she did not find what she was looking for. Quickly Arthur tried to climb in the other side but combined with the movement and the confusion Guinevere woke.

"Arthur?"

"I'm here love" she turned and found herself face to chest with her husband. She looked up at him squinting in the residual firelight.

"I didn't fall asleep here" she still sounded confused.

"No" Arthur chuckled lightly "I moved you or you would have ended up with a sore back, also I wanted to hold you" As if to verify this he moved his arms around Guinevere, securing her to him.

"I'm glad you did, I hate falling asleep when you're not here"

"I'm here love" he repeated kissing her forehead before gently laying down. Guinevere rested her head on his chest and shut her eyes. She could almost pretend this was a normal day. Almost.

It stalked her relentlessly, through the darkness. Arthur's manic cackle as the knife punctured her brother's heart. The screams surrounded her, the arms holding her viciously as she struggled.

"No please don't"

"Guinevere" she heard Arthur shout and suddenly the voices were gone but the arms remained although more gentle and calming. Guinevere was still seeing the visions, she struggled against Arthur's hold.

'He's the enemy, this is his fault' the little voice in the back of her head hissed maliciously, fuelling her struggle.

"Guinevere you're safe, I've got you" Arthur's comforting tones broke through her stupor and erased the voice.

"Arthur?" she clung to him trying desperately to banish her doubts

"It's me, you're safe" he repeated laying her down with him "Do you want to talk about it?"

"It was" she hesitated gathering strength "The tower" she broke off and Arthur held her tighter.

"You never have to go back there, I won't let her hurt you again" Arthur vowed

'She's not the one who hurt you' the snide voice intervened 'He's the only one who hurt you' Guinevere shook her head violently trying dismiss the troubling thoughts but they seemed to cling on to her mind. What if the voice was right?

**Ok so that was a bit of a Cliff Hanger there and I know the majority of the chapter was more of a filler but the action picks up soon I promise. Sorry about the wait and thank you so much for the reviews please keep them up as they make me smile and give me something to look forward to! Until next time **


	7. Chapter 7

Arthur stared out of the window at the gardens down below. There were three windows in their quarters, two grand and decorative which faced the courtyard and the one he was currently looking out of which was smaller and showed the small gardens and the field to the West. Arthur sighed heavily as he looked down upon the slight figure of his wife who was simply sitting and staring into space.

'I'm losing her' he thought dejectedly. After another painful night which successfully erased the progress he had thought they were making she had become distant. It was different though to the unresponsiveness he had experienced in the immediate aftermath of her rescue. Her eyes no longer seemed completely devoid of all emotion when she looked at him but more cold and distant, a far cry from his once loving wife. She shied away from his hold when she woke the following morning and they had barely exchanged two words over breakfast, which she picked at. When she decided she wanted to go for a walk Arthur didn't even try and suggest he went with her as her body language practically screamed that she did not wish to see him.

'We fought so hard to get here' he thought 'So many times it was nearly over but we made it and now to lose it' he blinked rapidly trying to dispel the moisture forming in his eyes. Everything he had achieved was worthless to him unless he had Guinevere, his Guinevere. He reached out his hand touching the stained glass of the window almost as though he was trying to reach Guinevere below in the garden. The glass was a fitting metaphor for the distance that had appeared between them, he tore his hand away slamming it into the wall next to the window with a broken sob. He couldn't lose her.

Down in the garden Guinevere's vacant composure was nothing compared to the battle inside her head. She was being tormented by a voice not unlike those who tormented her during her imprisonment. It whispered terrible things of Arthur's betrayal and how she had every right to hate him but Guinevere loved Arthur and her mind was putting up a desperate fight.

'He's lied to you, he abandoned you, and he didn't even want to rescue you' it hissed

'You're wrong' Guinevere thought brokenly 'He loves me'

The voice sneered 'You were but a serving girl to his sister, nothing to the mind of a prince or the King he became'

'No' Guinevere fought 'I was always more to him'

'Which is why he nearly married several times?' the voice questioned 'He always thought of you last, he was playing you'

A single tear dropped down Guinevere's face and fell onto her gown. She looked down as the wetness of the tear discoloured the rich blue of her gown. It smudged the colour slightly ruining the perfection of the gown, if only for a short while.

'That's all you ever were to him, a smudge on his perfection' the voice hissed.

"Gwen?" Gwen's head snapped up

"Merlin?" in one swift movement she got up and encased him in a hug, clinging to him.

"Whoa, hey it's alright" Merlin said comfortingly as he rearranged his arms around his friend "I've got you"

Gwen buried her head in Merlin's shoulder, drawing comfort from her oldest friend and before she knew it she was shaking slightly although there were few tears. Merlin noticed this and squeezed her gently.

"What's wrong?" he asked gently leading her back to the bench.

'Don't tell him about us' the voice whispered 'He betrays you to, he is only loyal to Arthur' Gwen faltered wanting so badly to tell Merlin

"Gwen its ok, you can trust me" he met her eyes and saw not the woman he knew her to be but a frightened girl reflected in them. He took her hand and rubbed it and Gwen caved.

"The voice its back, I can't escape it"

"What?"

"Merlin please it tells me terrible things I don't want to believe" she grabbed his hand "Please make it stop" By now Gwen was practically hysterical pleading to both Merlin and the entity in her head to stop.

Merlin captured her hands trying to hold her steady but it seemed only to make her movements more frantic, more desperate.

"He hates me, he lied to me" she moaned clutching her head so hard she left red marks from her nails. "I hate him I want him to, NO, NO I DON'T" she exclaimed trying to fight.

"Gwen" Merlin raised his voice trying to break through his friends panic but to no avail. "Gwen calm down" but by then Gwen was in full blown hysteria practically howling.

Inside her mind the battle was almost over with the evil magic leading the winning side.

'Shut up you foolish girl' it hissed malevolently

"No" Guinevere cried out "I won't"

'You will' the voice chuckled. Guinevere's scream pierced the air taking an already anxious Merlin completely by surprise. She clutched at her head whimpering in pain before she flopped onto the ground and was completely still.

"Gwen? GWEN!" Merlin was at her side in an instant trying to rouse her but she remained still and lifeless. Desperately he searched for her pulse and shook with relief as he found it, however weak. A guard came running round the corner evidently having heard the Queen's screams.

"What happened?" he asked frantically seeing his Queen lying motionless "What did you do?" he drew his sword

"ME?" Merlin shouted dumbfounded "I'm trying to help you imbecile get the King I'm taking her to Gaius' chambers" The guard seemed surprised by the outburst but still reluctant to move. "NOW!" Merlin exclaimed as he hoisted Guinevere into his arms. The guard ran off into the castle.

"Gaius?" Merlin called as he struggled in through the door having received no help from the guards on the way as they were all currently around the front of the castle.

"Merlin, what happened?" his mentor exclaimed rushing to relieve him of the Queen's limp body

"I have no idea one moment she was crying, then she was asking for my help, then she screamed and passed out" He looked at her now lying on Gaius' table. "She was so distressed she was pleading with me to help her" The door banged open effectively ending the rest of Merlin's sentence as Arthur came running in, the guard from earlier panting behind him.

"What happened?" he panted running straight over to the prone form of his wife.

"We're not exactly sure sire, Merlin was just trying to explain it to me" Arthur took up his wife's hand rubbing the back of it with his thumb before kissing it. He sat down on a stool and looked expectantly at Merlin.

By the time Merlin had finished his story for the second time both Gaius and Arthur were extremely concerned.

"What did she mean by voices, I wonder" Gaius pondered aloud.

"When I found her in the godforsaken tower, she had her hands over her ears" Arthur swallowed as he remembered something he wanted only too much to forget "She didn't believe it was me, perhaps Morgana put voices inside her head?"

"That is a very powerful enchantment My Lord and extremely difficult I'm not sure she would have been able to do it, even with her powers was there anything unusual about the room?"

Arthur strained his memory back.

"There was this black, sticky substance I found on your boots" Merlin broke in "When I cleaned them, it was on Gwen's dress as well'

"That might explain it then" Gaius mumbled and went to his bookshelf. Arthur looked at Merlin who feigned bewilderment but in reality knew exactly what the black substance was.

"Yes" Gaius said "The mandrake root was used to conjure up images and voices to torment her" he said grimly " I believe Morgana was trying to break her down and turn her into a personal puppet but Gwen was made of stronger stuff than she anticipated" Arthur tightened his grip on Guinevere's hand.

'I'm so sorry my love' he thought finally beginning to understand exactly what she had been going through.

'My guess is" Gaius continued "that the enchantment had not taken a strong enough hold by the time you rescued Gwen and now she is trying to continue it"

"That would explain Gwen's distance as of late" Arthur said only half to himself "Originally I thought it was the terror of her ordeal but she is truly starting to hate me" 'and I deserve it' he thought darkly.

"Sire you must understand the Guinevere who has been with you since your return is not her own, she was under the influence of some very dark and powerful magic"

"How do we save her?" Arthur asked desperately not wanting to prolong her suffering any more

"Of that sire I am unsure for now in this catatonic state I believe she will be unharmed, you should go to bed"

"I will not leave her" he stated firmly

"The take her to your chambers and make sure a fire keeps her warm, myself and Merlin will start trying to find a cure" Arthur nodded curtly no longer trusting himself to speak.

Up in their chambers Arthur broke down crying next to his wife's body. All the anguish and the worry came pouring out and he was unable to control it.

'Please let there be a cure, she has to be saved' he thought 'I have ruined her life, how many times has she been at the brink of death because of me?' he drew a shuddery breath as he grasped her hand. 'She should never have met me, I shouldn't have married her, I was too selfish I put my needs in front of hers and she continues to pay for it'. He moved a curl out of her eyes still crying although the frequency of his tears had lessened somewhat. 'This is all my fault' he thought 'I am a failure as a husband as a King and as a man'

"I'm so sorry my love" he whispered as he rested his head on the edge of the bed from his place on the floor.

**Sorry about the long wait but my timing just got a bit screwed up. I'm not really sure if anyone is reading this anymore but if you are feel free to drop me a review. As its half term the next chapter should be up soon!**


	8. Chapter 8

**Ok so I have been having some laptop dramas and this has been written out on notepad so all the spelling errors (or grammar) have been self-checked, so appologies! In other news THANK YOU SO MUCH for the overwhelming response I got from the last chapter it was humbling and feel free to keep it up!**

The door had barely shut behind Arthur before Merlin was making his way over to one of the many bookshelves in Gaius' chambers. Pulling three books out at once he turned around to see Gaius still standing looking blankly at the window.

"Gaius?" Merlin called "Now is really not the time for a lapse in concentration" it was a gentle tease but did not get a reaction out of his mentor. "Gaius? We need to find a cure" he waved a book at the old man who looked seemingly older in the morning sun.

"There is no cure Merlin" Merlin nearly dropped the books he was holding

"What?" he shook his head in disbelief "There has to be, Gwen can't die!" He slammed the books down on the table practically tearing the first one open to any page. Gaius shook his head.

"The magic is that of the mandrake root, similar to the one used to torment Uther"

"So why can't we just vanquish the root like last time?"

"Morgana's powers have grown immensely since then and she no longer needs the physical root to act as a vessel to contain the enchantment, it has penetrated Gwen's very mind"

"What if we kill Morgana?" Gaius raised his eyebrows to a new height

"Well yes that stands a chance of working but we have never managed to pull off that feat yet and I fear by the time we do the Queen will be dead"

"There has to be something!" Merlin exclaimed "She's my friend I can't let her die" he gripped his hair in desperation "She won't die, I won't let her not after so many have already died" He grabbed the books and took them into his room. Gaius sighed as he moved to pick up a book although he doubted he would find anything.

'There is too much cruelty in the world' he mused as he opened the fragile binding.

Up in the royal chambers all was silent. The king sat, unmoving at the side of the bed staring at his wife's equally still form. The only point of contact was his hand clasping her limp one as it laid on the silk sheets. His face was devoid of all expression but the redness around his eyes gave away his past actions. The king had no idea of how much time had passed he just sat, willing his wife to live. In the back of his mind he was sure if he sat there for long enough, held her hand for long enough she would somehow come back to him but it had yet to work.

'I can't lose her' he thought 'Not because of me, she cannot die because of me'

A soft knock at the door roused Arthur out of his thoughts for the first time.

"Come" his voice was hoarse with lack of use and pulled at his throat. The door opened almost tentatively and Sir Leon walked in.

"Sire" he bowed his head "How is the Queen" Arthur shook his head barely trusting himself to speak.

"Unchanged" he croaked and Sir Leon bowed his head again.

'I hardly know what to say' he thought seeing the anguish written across his King's face

"She is strong Sire" he said quietly "There is still hope" Arthur nodded swallowing.

"In the mean time I want you to ensure there are extra patrols on the borders, act as if we are expecting an attack" Years of authority started to bleed back into his voice

"Are we My Lord?" Leon questioned

"I'm not yet sure" Arthur hesitated "However I am certain that when I run into Morgana again it will be her last"

"I understand" Leon bowed and walked out.

'Indeed I do understand' he thought. Leon was not a man of many words and many thought he was more interested in weaponry than women but there had been one woman. She was daughter to a farmer who lived just on the outskirts of the lower town and he had been very much enchanted with her, and her him. It had reached the point where he was planning on a proposal when Agravaine turned on Arthur. Her house had been one of the first to have been torched and she had been burnt alive in her own home.

Leon shook with both anger and grief as he remembered pulling out her blackened body, that day he had sworn revenge. Leon wiped his eye furiously as a tear threatened to fall loose. Gwen had been one of his childhood friends and remained a very close friend; he would not let Morgana take anyone else away from him.

Up in Merlin's room he started on his fifth book having reached a state of desperation, fearing Gaius was right. There was very little in these books about Mandrake magic, mostly footnotes carrying warnings. He sighed heavily as he turned the pages.

'This is all my fault' he thought bluntly 'If I had just killed her when I had the chance, she wouldn't be doing this' going back even further he thought 'If I had revealed my own magic to her maybe things would have turned out differently'. Merlin shuddered under the weight of his guilt.

'I have to save her' he thought resolutely turning the next page.

"Merlin! Merlin!" Merlin jumped as he heard Gaius' excited voice from the other room. Leaping to his feet he broke into a run. Well, tried to, unfortunately in his haste to get up he tripped and fell headlong into the door and promptly down the steps. Unfazed and upside down has asked

"What is it?"

"I think I may have something" Gaius deliberated

"What?" Merlin asked impatiently, now standing

"This book says that if we can reach a part of Gwen that is still true to herself an untouched then the magic can be purged from her body"

"That's brilliant" Merlin had broken into his trademark face splitting grin

"But there are some problems" His face dropped. "For one I don't know what stage the magic is in we just have to hope she isn't already lost and we also need a sorcerer equally as powerful as Morgana if not more so" Merlin stared in disbelief at Gaius

"What am I a spare pot?" he asked exasperated

"What about Arthur? I doubt he could handle finding out your secret right now" Merlin shrugged

"I can be disguised"

"What as Dragoon? Arthur would have your head for the murder of his father before you got even close to Gwen"

"Ok so it's a problem is there anything else" Gaius paused scanning the passage again

"No I believe that is it"

"Right" Merlin sighed briefly "So what do we tell Arthur?"

"The truth, that the answer lies in magic"

"But what if it doesn't work?"

"We'll be honest with him about the chances of success and have to pray for the best, no matter what the ramifications"

"And the sorcerer problem?"

"Uh" Gaius adopted a slightly guilty look "Leave that to me" Merlin just nodded, too distracted to notice his mentors strange expression.

"Come on then" Merlin said practically pulling Gaius out of his chambers

**Well there it is sorry I'm a day late but I hope you all like it. I am changing a few things about the de-enchantment but lets' just see where it goes. I hope you like Leon's little story, I often thought we could've known a bit more about him. Until next time!**


	9. Chapter 9

**Ok so imagine me, on the floor, begging for your forgiveness at the amount of time it took me to get this up. Life took over and got very complicated for a while, well it still is, but anyway I'm sorry. I know this is short and I promise I am already writing the next, hopefully I will have it up by next week, but this is a much needed filler **

Arthur was still sitting in the chair, clutching Guinevere's hand. His only movement over the past hour had been to straighten out imaginary creases on the bed sheets. He wasn't aware of time passing, he hadn't noticed the bright sun give way to the golden glow of the sunset. He was ignorant to the pale moonlight that filtered through the stained glass window and of the darkness shrouding the room. His thoughts had been stunted and separated, only for Guinevere. His thoughts were on a basic level that he could not escape. He needed her. More than anything.

There was a knock at the door but Arthur was too far gone to hear it. Gaius and Merlin exchanged knowing glances on the other side of the door and carefully Merlin pushed open the door. The first thing that hit him was the darkness, a sharp change to the well lit corridor, the other was the slit of moonlight which cast an eerie yet somehow serene glow on his two best friends. They looked out of something out of a portrait, all light and no movement. It would have made a beautiful portrait but a heart-wrenching one. Next to Merlin Gaius cleared his throat, Arthur visibly jumped and his head snapped up.

"Gaius, you have the cure" his voice was rough and betrayed by his bloodshot eyes

"Not exactly My Lord, it is complicated"

"What do you mean complicated?" Arthur's expression dropped lower, if that was even possible.

"Guinevere is under a powerful enchantment and the only way there is a possibility of breaking it"

"There is only a possibility?" Arthur questioned. Gaius faltered.

'Did Arthur not hear me say magic?'

"Yes the spell will only work if the enchantment is at a particular stage" Arthur nodded taking it all in.

"How do we perform the magic can you?" He broke off as Gaius' eyebrows rose

"Sire you are aware this goes against your own laws"

"I don't care" he said plainly "Guinevere means everything to me, and this is my fault, I have to save her"

"It is not your fault Arthur" Merlin spoke for the first time since entering the room, his voice was sombre as he moved slowly across to the bed.

"Yes it is" said Arthur quietly "She was in my protection" Merlin made as if to speak again but Arthur cut him off

"Regardless, what of the magic?"

"We will have to summon a sorcerer"

"Who? Not the one who killed my father" he said quickly

"No I believe I know of another" Arthur nodded again

"And Guinevere, what risk is this to her?" Gaius took a breath,

"I will not lie there is a very small chance that it will work, but without there is no chance" Arthur shut his eyes squeezing his wife's hand.

"Then we will take that chance" For the first time Arthur looked directly into Gaius' eyes

"How do we know we can trust the sorcerer?"

"I am personally picking out the sorcerer this time My Lord, and this time I have chosen a woman"

Surprise registered on Arthur's face, but it was nothing compared to the look of disbelief on his manservant's face.

"A WOMAN" Merlin exclaimed the moment the doors to Gaius' chambers were shut "YOU COULDN'T THINK OF ANYTHING ELSE?"

"Keep your voice down" Gaius whispered glancing at the door "And what was I supposed, there are not many things we can disguise you as we can't do an aging spell again Arthur would have you executed"

"But a woman?" Merlin whispered furiously still quite put-out.

"Stop complaining and familiarise yourself with the spell"

**Just realised you guys have given me 93 reviews and nearly cried with happiness, if anyone is still reading this. THANK YOU!**


	10. Chapter 10

**Ok sorry for the long wait but my AS exams begin next week so life has got in the way BIG TIME! I used some of the dialogue from 'With all My Heart' in this chapter because I thought it was so beautiful in the episode (not ashamed to admit I nearly cried). I'm not sure how much more of this story there will be but you definitely have one more chapter coming after this. As always, I hope you enjoy, and feel free to review.  
Also the spell has been goggle translated into Latin if any of you want to see what it is, I made it up :)**

Merlin sighed heavily as he ran his fingers over the carefully inked words of the complicated spell that lay before him.

'So much could go wrong' he thought anxiously 'Too much'. Not for the first time was he putting absolutely everything on the line in the hope it would pay off.

'Yet how many times has it nearly all gone wrong before' he mused massaging his forehead. He shook himself and turned his attention back to the spell before him 'It doesn't matter, I have to save Gwen, I won't let another friend die' Closing his eyes he started to recite the spell in his head just as Gaius entered.

"How is it going?" he asked

"No comment" Merlin chuckled humourlessly "I am worried about this, it's risky'

"I know" agreed Gaius "but the alternative is even worse" Merlin nodded opening his eyes, his brow furrowed.

"What have you got there?" he questioned looking at the black fabric in Gaius' arms.

"Your outfit" he replied holding it up for Merlin's inspection "What do you think?" Merlin cocked his head to one side raising his eyebrows slightly

"I think it needs a belt"

Up in the royal chambers Arthur had resumed his position by Guinevere's head and he was perched precariously by her head stroking her hair.

"Everything will be ok my love, you'll see, I can save you" His eyes flitted to her chest, comforted by the steady rise and fall of her breathing. "Just hold on my love, I've got you"

Arthur wasn't sure how much later it was when there was a tentative knock at the door. His head jerked up and his voice croaked slightly as he called for them to enter. Gaius entered almost straight away but left the door open, about three steps in he paused and looked over his shoulder.

"You can come in, it's ok" he said. Arthur straightened up and looked curiously at the door. Hesitantly a head appeared around the door followed by the rest of the woman as she shuffled into the room, shutting the door carefully. Arthur blinked not quite believing the woman who stood before him.

"Sire, May I present The Dolma sorceress who guards the Cauldron of Arianrhod" The woman bowed her head slightly still maintain a distance from the King.

For what felt like the first time in years to Arthur he resisted the urge to laugh as he surveyed the woman. She stood awkwardly to the point of a rather comical stance. For all the times he had been taught about the evils of sorcerers Arthur simply could not apply it to the short, bedraggled woman who stood before him. Not realising his thinking was taking up a lot of time he jumped slightly when the sorceress spoke.

"What say you great King? She almost hissed, Arthur composed himself at once

"You know why you're here, what I ask?" he questioned shortly

"Indeed I do, nothing escapes from, the Dolma" Merlin adopted a smug expression raising an eyebrow at his King. To the side Gaius raised his eyebrows not quite believing the young boy's audacity.

"And will you help?"

"I will do my best but I can make no promises, this you must understand" Arthur nodded, desperate to start when he suddenly noticed something

"Gaius where is Merlin?" Beneath the bedraggled dress Merlin's stomach lurched.

'Why does Arthur have to remember me now?' he cursed silently, trying to maintain his composure

"I don't know Milord I haven't seen him" Gaius replied keeping tactically neutral. Merlin could see Arthur's anger mounting and for once he understood. The anger was a front for the hurt, as Merlin knew deep down they were friends and tonight Arthur needed his friend.

"Oh" he said feigning what he hoped was a sly smile "The gangly boy, he will be returned to you upon my departure" Arthur's eyes flashed and he reached for his sword.

"If you have harmed him" he growled

"I am an old woman" Merlin interrupted "It is only natural that I seek some insurance now let us begin, your Queen his hanging in a perilous state" Knocked back to his senses Arthur's face immediately returned to its worried composure as he allowed Merlin to approach the Queen's bedside. Merlin held out his hand over Gwen's head and pretended to be feeling out. It was supposed to be a pretence at any rate but he found by opening his mind by accident he could feel the evil that resided within her.

"The power is strong within her" he croaked before looking at Arthur directly, meeting his eyes for the first time. "I cannot guarantee that her life will be saved the magic is powerful"

Arthur squeezed his eyes shut willing the tears to recede and his composure to return. Opening them slowly he nodded "I understand". Merlin nodded before returning his attention to his Queen.

"When I cast the spell the evil within her will try to fight, it will try to take her over but I believe there is a small part of your Queen that remains untouched and you must find it" Merlin paused for breath making sure he remembered everything the book had said before continuing "The second part of the spell can only be said if she is at peace with her old self, if she has won over against the magic, only then can I eradicate it"

"How do I reach her" Arthur croaked and Merlin turned to face him again

"You are her husband, you hold her love, that is a very powerful magic all by itself" he turned again closing his eyes and taking a step back "Prepare yourself"

"Obsecro excitare mala in corpore vires, et mihi ostendit se" He chanted his eyes turning gold. The effect was instantaneous as Guinevere stirred and her eyes fluttered open. Arthur had to hold back a gasp as they held none of their usual warmth; they were cold and almost dead. She sat up blinking in the light.

"Guinevere" Arthur started but got no further as she scrambled to get off the bed and made a break for the door, he grabbed at her holding her wrist.

"GET AWAY FROM ME" she screamed struggling, Arthur's heart broke but he held fast.

"My Guinevere" he tried again but was interrupted again

"Your Guinevere?" she gave a twisted smile "You stupid foolish man I was never yours and I never will be" Her words stung but Arthur held fast.

"You loved me once" he said his voice breaking

"You're easily fooled Arthur" she struggled

"And still do" Gwen struggled harder shaking her head

"You must reach her Arthur reach out or all is lost" Merlin spoke desperately

"Who's this old crone?" Guinevere cried seeing Merlin for the first time but Arthur pulled her back toward him

"Look at me" he implored "Look at me and tell me you don't love me"

"Let me go" she continued to struggle against his hold but her voice broke over her word, a stray tear made itself down her face. Arthur saw it he saw her eyes were no longer cold but desperate. His Guinevere was in there he knew it, and she was still fighting.

"Remember when I asked you to marry me" he said looking her straight in the eyes "Remember what you said, you said with all my heart" Suddenly Guinevere stopped struggling and met his eyes

"With all my heart" he repeated softly loosening his grip slightly for a moment warmth flooded her eyes but it vanished in it's place anguish as she let out a scream and fell to the floor, writhing in agony.

"No" she cried unable to do anything but clutch her head "LET ME GO" Arthur felt his tears prick his own eyes as he watched his wife struggle but too afraid to scare her by going any closer.

"Arthur" she uttered brokenly, the energy expelled in her initial struggle beginning to wane "I won't let you hurt him" she whispered and it was then Arthur realised that she hadn't been talking too him, he didn't even know if she knew he was there anymore.

"Sire you must intervene, her time is running out she is losing the battle" the Dolma's voice broke through his thoughts and he rushed to his wife's side.

"Guinevere look at me" he gently took a hold of her shaking body trying to angle her closer to him but the force inside her continued to work against him.

"I can't, I'll hurt you, you can't be there, I killed you" Confused Arthur gripped her hands pulling them away from her face. It felt oddly reminiscent of her rescue from the dark tower and that chilled Arthur to the bone.

"I'm right here, I always will be" he whispered stroking her hair. "Come back to me Guinevere"

With that something snapped inside her and she met his eyes

"Arthur?" she fell into his arms gripping him tight. Fresh tears adorned his face as he held his shaking wife, breathing her in. The Dolma, seemingly satisfied with the Queen, began to chant.

"Te vim malis deleo nunc et in perpetuum. Aufer teipsum vos umquam venere dies, et rutam resideas."

A glowing gold light filled the room and Guinevere gasped as she felt her body shift. For the first time since she woke she could fully think her own thoughts. The mist inside her head had lifted and she was alone within herself once more. As she grew more aware of her surroundings she became more aware of Arthur's arms and she felt the familiar warmth flood her body. A feeling she had not felt in so long. Love.

**P.S: YOU GUYS GOT ME OVER 100 REVIEWS, YOU ARE AMAZING!**


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