Merlin 1. A Curse Is Born

**Title – **Court Obligations  
**Author – **Moonbeam  
**Summary – **Based on a KMM prompt – Merlin (always a girl) comes to Camelot when it is being gripped by a curse that affects the birth rate of the kingdom and to save herself from being given to Arthur as a consort she pretends to be a man.  
**Spoilers – **This is Canon AU, some things will alter and others will stay the same.  
**Rating – **Explicit (eventually)  
**Disclaimer – **I don't own anything, just a poor relief teacher/uni student. But oh the fun that could be had if I did.  
**Warnings – **Genderswap (always a girl), nothing you wouldn't see in the show so far.  
**Author's Notes – **This was started a long time ago on the KKM over at LJ – I had to stop writing for reasons but I have started watching the fifth season finally and got inspired to work on this, I can't post of KKM anymore so I thought I would just move it on over here. I am editing this as I post so it won't all appear at once and I am busy but I have already fixed some of this up.

**Original Prompt - **Arthur/Merlin, Girl!merlin, Canon.

When Uther first declared war upon the old religion, he was warned that there would be consequences to his actions. That nature would seek revenge upon him, and his people - and the results would be devastating. Uther simply sneered, boasting his prowess in combat, confident that the old religion could not subdue such a warrior as he. If only the arrogant fool had realised that the old religion never used the sharp steel of a blade to settle its scores - things might have been different. As it stands...

In the twenty years since the great purge began, the people of Camelot have grown barren. Fewer children are born with each passing year, and many of those births are stillborn. Uther had prosecuted magic for the death of his wife - a wife that had only been able to bear him a child through the use of magic - and now the old religion had paid him back in kind. His people were as barren as his deceased wife had been.

In an attempt to save his Kingdom, Uther decreed that the men of the noble class were allowed to take mistresses without fear of shame or reproach from their peers. The social class in which the mistress originated did not matter (seeing as most fertile woman were born into the peasant class), as long as she was able to bear an heir - an heir that would be recognised and legitimized by the court.

Naturally, having been raised in Cenred's Kingdom, Merlin knew very little about these things. If she had, she might not have rushed to the prince's aid when Mary Collins threw her knife at him. Especially if she'd that King Uther had decided it was high time for Arthur to begin producing heirs, and that she would be unwillingly named Arthur's Royal Mistress.

***OP preference; a lot of smut - hopefully graphic. Would prefer an experienced Arthur paired with a virgin Merlin. I know, I'm evil :)***

**Variation - **Same as above, with one big difference...

Every year the women of Camelot undergo an examination at the handsof a midwife. This is done to determine which women are the more fertile, and the more fertile you are, the more coveted you become. However, Merlin never underwent this examination seeing as she arrived just a few days afterwards. As such, Uther names her Arthur's maidservant.

A year passes, Sigan attacks Camelot, and fails. Merlin, still feeling pitiful and hurt over Arthur's treatment of her is summoned for her examination whithin a day after Sigan's attack. It is soon discovered that Merlin is the most fertile woman Camelot has seen in years - and that fact, at such a time in Camelot, has given Merlin a status equal as the highest of the nobility.

How will Merlin react to being bartered off the highest suitor? How will Arthur deal with Merlin's new change in status? Even better, how will Arthur react to seeing the highest sons of the nobility all vying for her attention? And when Arthur, possesive and spoilt as he is, stakes a claim on Merlin, will she literally take it lying down given his recent behavior towards her?

P.S: As OP above directed, a lot of smut would be appreciated, and the experienced!Arthur/virgin!Merlin bit also appeals to me : )

**Court Obligations**  
by Moonbeam

**/ / / A Curse Is Born / / /**

"Uther Pendragon, for your sins your kingdom shall suffer."

Those had been the words of the witch, the first witch, the original one. Arthur had just been born; he was barely a month old but Ygraine was dead and Uther knew who and what was to blame.

Magic.

And so began the Great Purge.

/ / /

Uther stepped out onto the balcony above the courtyard where the pyre stood with a young woman tied to the tall centre post. She caught sight of Uther flanked by his knights and began to curse at him, words of the old religion that were rendered useless by the collar around her neck.

Uther held up his right arm and the crowd gathered grew silent their eyes riveted to the king. "For your crime of sorcery you are sentenced to death. Let this be a warning to all people who practice the evil act of performing magic. Any person found guilty of sorcery will be cleansed through fire. You are the first witch, but you shall not be the last. People of Camelot denounce the old religion, never again practice your evil ways and you may keep your lives." Uther looked around the courtyard at his subjects and then dropped his arm. "Burn the witch."

The witch on the pyre watched the knight drop a burning touch to the base of her pyre before she looked up and caught Uther's eyes. "Uther Pendragon, for your sins your kingdom shall suffer."

Uther ignored her words and watched as the witch burned, righteousness making his chest swell. This was only the beginning but he would kill all of them, anyone who practiced witchcraft would die. He would make sure that magic was purged from his land before he was dead, he would leave his son a land free of magic. Uther remained where he was looking down on the witch burning until she stopped screaming and her burning body slumped down. He stood there long after until the fire was low and servants came out to sweep the ash and bone to be carted outside to an unmarked area where the remains of the unclean sorcerers would be buried. Uther watched as one of his knights stepped forward to pull the collar from the ashes to be delivered to Gaius for cleaning and checking.

When the square was clean with no sign of what had happened save for the scorch marks that had turned the stones black Uther turned from the balcony and walked to his son's room. He waved the nurse away picking his son up and moving over to the window, he ran his finger down Arthur's cheek, so much like Ygraine. Arthur was small and pale with tufts of white blond hair and blue eyes so clear they looked like the sky outside.

"The witch is dead, Arthur," Uther said quietly as his son stared at him. "Not the one that killed your mother but I will get to Nimueh soon enough. They will all die, when you are King there will be no sorcerers left. You will be free to reign over this land without fear of enchantment or curses. It will be glorious, Arthur, when they are all gone and everyone in the kingdom will rejoice to be rid of them."

Uther stood at the window cradling his son for a long while until the sun had passed its zenith and Arthur started to fuss. He handed Arthur back to his nurse and walked from the room finding Gaius in his new rooms where his old friend would treat people as the new court physician. Uther knocked before entering knowing that Gaius was still unpacking and might be on a ladder, he did not need his new court physician to be injured in his first week.

"Come," Gaius said looking up from the mortar and pestle in front of him. "Sire, come in." Gaius said bowing slightly when he realised who was at his door.

"Gaius, did you receive the collar?"

Gaius' eyes dropped to the collar on one of his worktables as he nodded. "Yes, I will work on it this afternoon. Lady Charlotte took a tumble and I am preparing something for her wrist and ankle."

"Of course, please come and see me when it has been tested I want to make sure it is ready for the next one."

"Yes Sire," Gaius said his eyes flicking up for a moment as Uther nodded and turned to leave. Uther watched his old friend drop his head to his chest moments before the door was closed tightly.

Uther went down to his council chambers ready to meet with his senior knights. As Uther strode through the double doors his knights all stood, their heads bowed as they welcomed him as one. He nodded to them in turn and then took his seat at the head of the table.

"What news?" Uther said looking around the table.

"A group of knights is bringing in three witches from the north that were caught performing magic on the crops in their villages," Sir Tyrone said.

"Was there any damage?" Uther asked.

"No, it appears they were trying to help protect the crops from frost," Sir Tyrone said looking down.

"They are trying to convince us that they are not what we know them to be, attempting to gain our trust so that they will be able to burn the heart from Camelot with their sorcery."

"Of course, Sire," Sir Tyrone said.

"There are some knights from the south coming with a group of sorcerers caught practicing in the woods during a full moon." Sir Anthony said.

"Good," Uther said. "They shall all be burned together."

"Yes, Sire," Sir Thomas said. "We have been contacted by two men who want to give up their neighbours as sorcerers for the reward that you offered."

"Make sure they are actually magic users and it is not just the reward they are after." Uther said.

"Yes, Sire. I will need another two of knights to assist me." Sir Thomas requested.

"Take two of the younger knights, it will be a good experience for them," Uther said nodding.

"Yes, Sire," Sir Thomas said.

"Anything else on the purge?" Uther asked. Sir Godfrey and Sir Malcolm looked to one another but no one said anything. Uther stared at them for a few long minutes until Sir Malcolm squirmed and nodded.

"Sire, the witch," Sir Malcolm stopped, his shoulders straightening before continuing. "We were wondering at what the witch said as she burned, she was acting differently to when she was attempting to curse you. She said the kingdom would suffer."

Uther thought back to what the witch had screamed up at him. He could still hear her words 'Uther Pendragon, for your sins your kingdom shall suffer' but he was not worried. "You are the strongest knights in all of Albion. We can defeat any army, no witch can stop us. I have faith in my knights, in my armies to protect all of Camelot. So do not fear the witch's words."

His knights all nodded and they moved on to talking of the training, the new squires who came in hope of one day being knights themselves and the different assignments that were due to be reassessed.

His knights stood when Gaius knocked on the door and asked to be allowed in. Uther ushered him over as the knights left the room and asked the servant standing against the wall to fetch them both food and wine. Gaius smiled his thanks pushing his long brown hair away from his face and tying it with a length of brown leather.

Gaius placed the collar on the table before Uther and the king picked it up to inspect it, there was no evidence it had burned in a fire earlier that day. Uther was very pleased with this little trinket, Gaius had been imperative in making it, allowing himself to be tested on, allowing himself to be bound and then making sure that he could not do any magic. Uther could not have started the purge as quickly as he did without Gaius' help.

"You did a good job, the knights are bringing more sorcerers here as we speak, and this will be needed again before the week is out."

"Thank you, Sire," Gaius said quietly.

"I know you don't believe that all people who practice magic are evil Gaius but we are doing the right thing."

"Yes, Sire," Gaius said again taking a drink from the goblet placed in front of him.

"Were you at the burning?"

"No, I needed to attend to Lady Charlotte."

"Is she very hurt?"

"She will need to remain abed for a week but she will make a full recovery," Gaius said with a small smile.

"The witch said something as she burned."

"Yes, Sire?" Gaius asked watching Uther's expression closely.

"She said 'Uther Pendragon, for your sins your kingdom shall suffer', even as she burned she thought I should be scared of her. Magical practitioners have no understanding of their own limitations; they think they are so far above us all. I am going to bring them all back down to earth."

"You need to remember, Sire, that the old religion needs balance, their threat might be real." Gaius warned.

"Have no fear, Gaius; Camelot's army is strong enough to defeat any army. We will stop any threat. We have nothing to fear from a few witches who think they can sow fear."

"Magic knows more ways of revenge than brute force," Gaius warned.

"Gaius, we are going to stop the spread of their evil sorcery. We have weapons that render them no more powerful than anyone else, and more are being created every day. We will win this war. Ygraine will be avenged and I shall rid this land of sorcery."

"Yes, Sire," Gaius agreed. "Camelot shall be free from sorcery."

"I could not do this without you my friend." Uther said placing a hand on Gaius' forearm.

"I know Sire," Gaius said quietly before turning back to his food and pushing it around his plate, eating small mouthfuls occasionally.

They ate and spoke only of court matters, staying away from the topic of magic, when the food was removed they moved to sit before the fire as they had done for years since Uther had fought his way to the throne. Gaius had been apprentice to the court physician when Uther was a boy and there was no person in all of the court that Uther trusted more. Uther had allowed him the choice, give up his magic or leave the kingdom. Uther would not give anyone else that choice but Gaius had chosen to remain with him, to help build the future that Uther could see so he would allow him this time to leave his old life behind.

Together they were going to create a better future for Camelot.

**/ / /**


	2. Gaius's Burden

**/ / / Gaius's Burden \ \ \ **

Gaius hated watching his fellow magic users killed.

Today he had no choice but to stand in the courtyard and watch some of his former brethren burn. There were ten pyres set up in a half circle, the area packed with people who were watching and waiting for the King to step out onto the balcony and make his speech. Gaius knew one of the women on the pyre – she was a good person. He had been in her village years ago when there was a sickness, she had helped him treat and save many people. Gaius also knew one of the men; he'd been caught and punished many times for using his abilities to cause problems. One of the men was accused of having used his skill to sneak into his neighbour's house wearing the other man's face so he could sleep with his wife. Two of the witches at the stake were known necromancers and one of the warlocks had been caught slaughtering his neighbour's livestock.

Gaius knew that magic, like all things, was neither good nor bad but the people who wielded it made choices and now, for the choices of a few, the many would suffer while Gaius watched and felt his guilt and shame burning his soul.

Uther had Gaius' trust and loyalty, Gaius had seen many things over the years, he had once been the court sorcerer, had directed Uther to visit Nimueh; the biggest mistake of his life. Nimueh took more from Gaius than his friend or his Queen she also took away something fundamental from the relationship he had with his King. Gaius had been able to see it, as Ygraine's funeral pyre burned and Gaius stood behind his King he knew their friendship, once closer than anyone knew, was irrevocably broken. Gaius had brought this fate down upon Camelot when he suggested magic to cure Ygraine and it was Gaius' burden to sit and watch – to help, as Uther burned magic from his kingdom.

Gaius knew Uther was wrong, magic was not evil. Ygraine had made a choice; she wanted to be a mother. Gaius had known Ygraine for a very long time and he had complete faith that she would have chosen to give her life for Arthur's if asked; she had wanted a child for as long as she had been married to Uther. Nimueh should have been clearer, should have explained exactly what the deal would be but it was not in her nature to explain her actions; she enjoyed the mystique of her magic. She was a vindictive person and had probably taken great pleasure in watching Uther fall with Ygraine's death. She would be taking less pleasure in watching the consequences of her actions.

Gaius was not a brave man, he feared death, but he did what he could. He saved the people he was able to. He had talked to and convinced many of the practitioners who had little power, and no need to use it, to stop, to pretend they had no ability and live their lives non-magically. Gaius was able to save a few of his old friends, keeping their identities secret and for one of his old friends reporting their death. Gaius knew none of his friends would ever understand where he stood now, behind Uther in this war against sorcery but Uther needed him now; Ygraine was dead and his kingdom was more perilous than it had ever been. As Gaius had always done he stood at Uther's side where he knew he was needed.

Uther asked for Gaius' help and Gaius had never been able to say no to Uther, not in anything. This flaw in his personality had led them here, it was as much Gaius' fault as it was Nimueh's. This war was going to be his penance to his old friend for causing Ygraine's death.

**/ / / **


	3. And So The Dragons Burn

**/ / / And So The Dragons Burn / / /**

Uther looked at Gaius over the rim of his goblet as the older man sewed his leg up. Uther had been on a patrol in the lower town when a witch attacked him, his guard was distracted breaking up a fight and she took her chances with the opportunity. The witch managed to slice his thigh open before Uther ran her through with his sword. She cursed him and his family with her dying breath but no magic survived death and Uther was pleased that one more witch was dead; another scar was a small price to pay.

"I have decided to send an envoy to the dragonlords," Uther said when Gaius tied the last of the stitches off and sat back.

"Sire?" Gaius asked looking up at Uther.

"I have received word that the dragons wish to stop me; I want to stop them first."

"Dragons have very old magic, more powerful than any sorcerer. They will not be easy to defeat." Gaius warned even knowing he was wasting his time.

"I have knights training to slay them now; Sir George is training them in a small village close by."

"He knows more about dragons than any other man alive," Gaius agreed. "Uther, if you start this, the dragons will come after Camelot."

"And like the magic armies that have attacked I shall stop them too." Uther said with conviction.

"Yes, Sire," Gaius said pouring clean water over the wound to wash the blood away.

"You never call me Uther anymore, Gaius," Uther said quietly handing Gaius a towel for his hands though the older man gently wiped the water from his leg first.

"You are king now, Sire. What was right before is not anymore." Gaius said with a sad smile looking up at Uther.

"You are probably right old friend but when we are alone you can call me Uther, we are after all friends."

"Very well, Uther," Gaius said wrapping a bandage around the leg. "I shall come and see you tomorrow and I change the dressings."

"Thank you, Gaius," Uther said.

"I should go," Gaius said. "And allow you to rest."

"No, Gaius. Stay and have dinner with me." Uther nodded to the servant by the door and he bowed before turning and leaving to collect their dinner.

"Thank you, Sire," Uther glared for a moment and Gaius corrected his words. "Thank you, Uther."

"Tell me, how are you enjoying your role as court physician?"

Gaius started to tell his old friend about his new job; he and Uther talking as they had not in a long while – they talked long into the night about many things and for the first time since Ygraine's death they relaxed in one another's company.

/ / / \ \ \

Uther burned as many witches and warlocks as he could find, beheading some, running others through with his own sword to know they were dead and yet still the one he truly wanted evaded him, she hid like the coward he knew all magic users to be.

Uther called to the dragonlords and with the help of Sir George's knights slaughtered every one that came to Camelot, then the army came, the people were terrified as dragons rained from the sky scorching Camelot and its people. Uther stood firm and rode out with his men to slaughter the vile creatures. So many knights burned over so many days, the women and children in the town hiding deep within the citadel far below ground in a cave that had just been found. Finally Uther and his army killed the last of the dragon army, a small pathetic golden dragon that screamed out as Uther thrust his sword deep into its neck.

Uther was not done; there was one more – one mighty dragon that needed to be slain and one dragonlord that needed to be killed.

Uther tricked a dragonlord named Balinor and a dragon named Kilgharrah to Camelot but Uther had mightier plans for this dragon than for any other that had died by his hand or on his order. This dragon would be his prize and he would hold him prisoner as a testament to his defeat of magic. Uther captured the dragon but the dragonlord escaped and regardless of how many knights he sent after him and the bounty on his head Uther could not find him and get the satisfaction of watching the last dragonlord burn on a pyre.

**/ / /**


	4. The Signs Of A Curse

**/ / / The Signs Of A Curse / / /**

They did not notice anything the first year, nor the second, but then halfway through the third year Gaius came to Uther.

"Sire," Gaius said bowing before his king. "Some of the nobles have come to me over the last year with the same complaint. I did not put it together until recently and have been conducting some enquiries. I fear I might know what the witch meant when she said the kingdom would suffer for the purge."

Uther sat up higher on his throne and watched Gaius with intrigued eyes. "What is it, Gaius?"

"A number of nobles have been visiting me requesting help with fertility; it seems that a number of their wives are having difficulty getting pregnant. It was only a month ago that I realised I have spoken to one in every three nobles that have been here in the last year and all had the same complaint. I sent messages to some midwives I know around Camelot as well as talking to the ones here in the castle and in the town and everyone said the same thing. None of them had put it together either but they agreed there are not as many children being born, less every year. The midwives here in town and I went over their records and the rate has dropped steadily since the purge began. I fear that rather than come at you with brute strength they have attacked the very future of Camelot."

Uther was quiet for a long time and then he looked up at Gaius. "Are you sure?"

"I cannot be sure unless they admit it but it makes sense; given everything."

"Given what exactly?" Uther demanded sharply.

Gaius looked at the knights and nobles gathered in the room with them and chose his words carefully. "Given the circumstances that began the great purge this curse is retribution in kind – an eye for an eye as it were."

Uther stood up and growled at his knights and nobles to leave them alone. When the large doors were closed and Gaius was alone with Uther the king stalked up to Gaius. "What do you mean?"

Gaius took a deep breath. "Sire, the old religion gave you a son. You were warned that there would be consequences for your actions and now the kingdom is having trouble producing children. It is retaliation for the death of so many magic users."

"If the old religion likes balance so much then more children should be born to make up for the people dying."

"The balance isn't in the lives it is in the meaning, you got a child from the bargain and they lost their freedom they cannot take Arthur because he was born of magic so they take from you your kingdom instead."

"Arthur is not magic," Uther spat out.

"No, Sire. He has shown no ability at all but he was born of magic and that will prevent Nimueh from being able to kill him as she gave him life." Gaius explained hoping he was not going to have to test the young prince for signs of magic more regularly.

"No one gave him life but me," Uther said glaring at Gaius who sighed deeply and nodded his head bowed.

"Yes, Sire, forgive me. Arthur is not what is important. I fear that Camelot is having fewer children and I would like to send some messengers to all the villagers in Camelot to find out about the births that have occurred over the last three years."

"Very well," Uther said. "Send the men you need to and keep me informed."

"Sire," Gaius said backing out of the room. "I shall tell you as soon as I know anything."

"Goodbye, Gaius," Uther said sitting down and refusing to look at Gaius again.

Gaius sighed and went back to his chambers to start on the list of questions he would need the midwives to answer. Within a day ten messengers were dispatched out in all directions to gather the information for Gaius. It took a week for the reports to start coming in and in that time Uther was more distant than he had been since the beginning of the purge. Gaius reported to him daily to say there was nothing new and was dismissed each time by a disappointed wave of his king's hand.

The information started arriving and Gaius compiled it - the picture appearing on the parchment in front of him was not good for the future of Camelot. That evening Gaius went to the king.

"Sire," Gaius said bowing. "I have some results from my investigations." Gaius looked around the room. "Perhaps we should speak alone."

"Sir Gorlois, stay, everyone else you are dismissed." Uther said his most trusted knight standing by his side as the rest of the room left.

"Sir Gorlois," Gaius said looking at the tall blonde knight. "How is Lady Vivienne?"

"Pregnant, Gaius. She would like to travel here to have the babe since you provided her much comfort with Morgause and she is worried that this birth will be just as hard as the last."

"She is more than welcome to see me, Gorlois, as always."

"I asked Gorlois to stay since he is proof that your theory may in fact be false." Uther said his tone condescending but Gaius simply straightened his shoulders and stepped forward.

"I fear I was right. I have heard back from most of the midwives in Camelot, I asked them for details on all the births they had been present at since the year before the purges began and what I have found is condemning. The number of babies had dropped steadily each year since the first witch burned."

"I am sure the number of children born each year changes," Gorlois said looking at Gaius.

"That is true however the last few years the rate has been steadily dropping, and the women all said that they had also had requests from a number of couples regarding an inability to conceive."

"How bad is it Gaius?" Uther said sitting forward on his throne.

"The year of the Arthur's birth the lands of Sir Kay produced thirty children, the next year they produced twenty, last year they produced sixteen and this year they have only had ten babies born though there are another two women pregnant. That rate is pretty standard throughout the kingdom."

"What can we do?" Uther asked and Gaius could see the worry there now where before there had been disbelief and betrayal.

"Nothing," Gaius said. "I have been researching but the only way to combat this I see is through magic or through surrender – if you were to stop with the purge."

Uther stood quickly and stalked towards Gaius stopping when the older man could feel the hot breath of his king. "I shall never surrender to the whim of magic; they prove their evil intentions with every man who does not have a son and every woman who does not have a daughter. I refuse to ever stop hunting witches until they are gone from this land and all men are free to complete their day without fear of enchantment."

"Yes, Sire," Gaius said stepping back and bowing his head. "I shall continue to look into possible solutions."

"Gaius, I assume that your support of our mission to remove magic from this land has not diminished."

"No, Sire. I serve you and your mission as always but I felt the need to at least give you all the options available to us at the moment. We will be able to find a solution to this problem."

Uther backed off and returned to his throne.

"Gaius," Gorlois said. "Is there anything else?"

"Yes," Gaius said. "I asked for information about the lineage of the parents. It seems people in the peasant class are having more children than nobles, and couples where one of the parents is from another kingdom also have a greater chance of conceiving."

"Which could be why Vivienne and I were able to conceive as she is from Lot's kingdom." Gorlois said.

"Quite possibly," Gaius said carefully keeping his eyes from Uther's.

"Why would magic users leave the peasants alone?" Uther said looking at Gaius.

"A peasant's livelihood relies on them having sons," Gorlois pointed out pragmatically and Gaius was pleased he had not been the one to have said it.

"Noble houses only survive on the presence of sons," Uther said thumping his fist down on the arm of his throne.

"Yes, Sire," Gorlois said. "However noble houses survive on the backs of the peasants who work their land and who create products from what is grown there."

Gaius kept his mouth closed and allowed Gorlois to make the argument for them both. Gorlois had been a pragmatic and truthful man for as long as Gaius had known him, he was nobler than any of Uther's other knights and he knew and respected all the people under his protection. Gorlois was also right, Uther was a good King but he saw peasants only as the people who worked for him and saw no worth in knowing them as people or in treating them as anything other than the people who should be pleased to do all they could to serve their King. Uther's blindness to the worth of all people in his kingdom was one of the flaws that Gaius had never been able to forgive even as he was forced to accept it.

"Peasants survive on the grace of the noble houses that allow them to find a living on their lands." Uther said sitting forward and watching Gorlois closely.

Gorlois watched Uther warily for a moment before nodding and stepping back, his expression resigned, he nodded once and Gaius could see that he did not agree but like everyone he sat back and allowed the king to believe that his way was true and right and all those around him were in agreement even when he knew it was not the case.

"Gaius," Uther said turning to him suddenly. "You have three days to come up with another plan, something to do to stop this curse. Come back then."

"Sire," Gaius said bowing again and turning to leave.

"Sir Gorlois, would you mind leaving me. I would like to think on this alone."

"Sire," Gorlois said bowing and walking out beside Gaius telling him of the changes in Morgause over the last year since their last visit.

The heavy doors closed behind them and Gaius asked Gorlois up to share his midday meal so they could talk about Morgause, Vivienne and the pregnancy.

Gaius spent the next three days reading every magic book that he could find in his personal collection and Geoffrey's, he spoke to every historian in Camelot, spoke to the old women in the lower town who knew everything there was to know about the kingdom and magic even if they had none of their own.

On the third day Uther sent for Gaius to meet him in the King's private council chambers, Gaius took the only book that helped in any way and made his way to his King. Gaius knocked on the door and stepped in when invited; the king was alone in the room and waved Gaius over to the chair on the other side of his desk. This room was used only for these private meetings or when the king was dealing with matters of state alone, the small room contained current records and other things the king needed but it was used much less regularly than the main council chambers. Gaius had spent a lot of time in this room over the years but this was the first time he had stepped foot into the room and honestly felt as though he should turn and walk out again. Uther was glaring at him from across the table and Gaius now knew the intimidation that Uther caused in his enemies.

"Sire," Gaius said just before sitting down.

"What do you have for me, Gaius?"

"Not much I fear, Sire," Gaius said assuming that Uther's earlier command to call him by name when they were in private would not be welcomed today. "I have read every book that could be of use, from the records, from my own collection and from anyone of learning in Camelot. I have spoken to Aunt Annie from down in the lower town who is older than any other person in Camelot and remembers things from before most books in the records. There is no mention of a curse like this, there is no evidence of anything like this having ever been done before or even written down as a possibility. From everything I have been able to find here is no counter-curse; there is nothing we can do that will end this curse short of ending the purge."

"That will not happen, Gaius," Uther said, his voice cold and condescending. "I cannot bow to the demands of people who would sink so low as to rob men and women of the ability to have children."

"I understand, Sire," Gaius said. "I can see nothing that we can do but I shall continue to do all I can to solve this."

Uther smiled then and Gaius felt the dread sink low in his stomach at the sight. "I have a solution, Gaius. With the help of some of my knights I have compiled a list of people that have been known to use magic in the years before it was banned. I will show people with magic that we will not bow to their punishment of my people. I will show them through our determination that nothing will alter our beliefs and our firm stance on magic. I will comfort my people with my strength and unwavering resolve."

Gaius accepted the piece of parchment but stopped himself from looking over the names; he didn't want to know just yet who was on it, not in front of Uther who was watching him much too closely for comfort at the moment.

"What would you like me to do, Sire?"

"I want you to be in charge of this mission; you know many of the people on that list and will be able to assist the knights in locating and finding them and ensuring that they are returned to Camelot for one group exorcism of magic from the kingdom. There shall be a feast for every person in Camelot to attend to celebrate the death of more magic than any burning that we have had before and to show the people who think they can harm our kingdom that nothing they do will stop us from living our lives by our beliefs."

"Of course, Sire," Gaius said bowing his head to his King knowing this for what it was, a test of his resolve when it came to Uther's mission. Gaius felt it slipping, Uther was losing sight of his determination to purge evil from the land and with every step against him lead by sorcery he lost himself more to the hatred and distrust of magic. Gaius had thought that his help was retribution for the death of his queen but the more innocent magic users who burned and the more women who came to him wanting nothing more than a baby to hold made him wonder if any of this was worth it.

"You have a month, Gaius. You may go." Uther said picking up a sheet of parchment from his desk and ignoring Gaius who stood and walked out of the room, the parchment in his hand growing heavier with every step towards his chambers. The second the door was closed and locked behind him he pulled the parchment open and looked at the long list of magic users. There she was black ink against the fine parchment Uther had used to write this list of witches and warlocks. Alice. The woman Gaius had given up for his king. Without a thought Gaius removed her name from the list and sunk down into his chair. He did not want to do this and yet he had committed himself to his King and to his kingdom and he could see no other option but to round up this list of people who had all helped Camelot in her hours of need and march them to the courtyard to be burned while the people of Camelot were told to celebrate the very actions that would rob them of their ability to have sons to work the land and swell the armies and to have daughters who would look after them as they grew older and provided the very heart of Camelot.

Gaius didn't know what to do as he sat there looking at his list of magic users and let the day pass him by contemplating the fate he had forced upon himself.

**/ / / **


	5. Redemption or Warning

**/ / / Redemption or Warning / / /**

_Gaius_, a voice whispered in Gaius' ear waking him. Gaius sat up and looked around the room the fire throwing just enough light that Gaius knew no one was in the chamber with him. _Gaius._ Gaius stood and walked to the door but no one was there either. _Gaius. _Gaius went back and retrieved his boots and a cloak to follow the voice that called him down into the very bowels of the castle - to the cavern where Uther had tethered the dragon.

"Gaius," the dragon said his huge head resting on his fore claws so he could watch the door.

"You called me, Kilgharrah." Gaius said looking up at the giant dragon.

"You do not get to use that name!" The dragon bellowed his face moving closer to Gaius and a great plume of smoke hitting Gaius in the face.

"You called me, dragon," Gaius corrected.

"You have been having doubts haven't you about what you do to help your King."

"No," Gaius said. "Uther is trying to get rid of evil."

"But he is not is he, Gaius? He's trying to get rid of all magic and you know now of the curse he has brought down on the heads of his people and the consequences of his actions."

"I follow my King," Gaius said throwing his shoulders back.

"Good." The dragon said with a giant smirk that left Gaius feeling worried.

Gaius raised an eyebrow at the dragon who simply threw his head back and laughed at the look.

"The old religion wants for balance. Magic is being destroyed and it shall be reborn, even now it is brewing and breeding and one day that magic will come to this castle and it shall join with the young prince and unite all of Albion and magic shall be restored to its rightful place." The dragon's gravel voice turned almost wistful at the end allowing Gaius to relax a little.

Gaius was silent, he had not thought about that need for balance in the face of the retribution that magic was currently visiting on Camelot; Gaius had spared no thought for the growing imbalance between the magic there was in the world and the magic that now resided in it.

"Why are you telling me this?" Gaius asked.

"You have a role to play; you are a traitor to your magic however you will be given a chance to balance the weight of guilt that blackens your soul. You must stay in this castle, you must continue to serve your King," the dragon paused and turned his head so that one giant golden eye was facing Gaius. "In whatever way you have before," the dragon settled back and Gaius let his eyes flick to the burning torch in his hand rather than the knowing eyes in front of him. "And you shall be given the opportunity to rectify your mistakes."

"I am paying for my mistakes already," Gaius said.

The dragon laughed but it was a mirthless sound. "You pay for mistakes that were not yours to claim and you hide behind duty and honour to keep yourself from making old mistakes again but you have not begun to pay for the mistakes you are making now by standing back and watching your brethren burn, helping them be tied and tortured and killed to sate the bloodlust of a king who got what he wanted in that tiny little human who will one day be everything that Uther hates."

"What do you want with me, dragon?" Gaius said suddenly feeling very weary.

"I want you to serve Uther and watch as everything you once held dear is destroyed and then I want you to come to realise that you were wrong to choose him over your own people. Maybe then you will finally be able to serve the old religion in saving Albion and magic."

"Is that all?" Gaius asked.

"No," the dragon leaned forward. "Then I want you to betray your king repeatedly for the one that shall stand by the young Pendragon as he unites Albion under one banner of King and magic."

"I fear that day will not come to pass," Gaius said. "Arthur will never accept magic even now he knows it is wrong."

"He will change his mind for the right person, for the one who will be the other side of his coin, the other aspect of his life."

Gaius remained silent; he did not know what to say. Dragons were known as beings of foresight but what the great dragon had said seemed too hopeful for it to actually be true.

"Go now, Gaius. I do hope not to see you for a very long time."

"Then I suggest you don't call me again," Gaius said turning and leaving the dragon alone where he would wait and bide his time until Emrys arrived in Camelot and the world would change.

**/ / / **


	6. Change Of Society's Rules

**/ / / Change Of Society's Rules / / / **

Five years after the first witch burned the curse that griped Camelot had caused only one heir to be born for every five noble families in Camelot. Peasants were having more children but even then families were joining farms and girls were tilling and sowing rather than sewing and cooking.

Uther bore the weight of every nobleman in Camelot who could not provide himself with a son so he made a proclamation.

_Any man may take a mistress and with her bear a child that shall be recognised by the court and will be given the same rights as any legitimately begotten heir._

Uther had sat the heads of his noblest houses down and told them of his decision. They could take a mistress, though any woman they took would have to be furnished with a living for the rest of her life as Uther did not want his noblest houses descending into debauchery and decadence and no man may have more than one at any time. Any child born of these unions would be recognised by the court and be given the rights of any heir though if an heir was born of a legitimate marriage they would hold more claim to inheritance than their illegitimate siblings. The nobles accepted his decision with understanding, some looked gleeful at the chance to claim the women they were bedding legitimately while others, Uther knew, would never bed another and would allow their lands to pass to distance relatives or the crown upon their death rather than take a mistress. Uther did not care so long as his noble families continued to exist in Camelot.

Uther himself could not think of taking a mistress, he had loved Ygraine completely and his only dalliance since her death had been a mistake made due to lust and envy. Uther regretted it to this day and the ramifications that it would have over his court and his son if ever it were to get out. Uther was determined to ensure that Arthur survived to take the throne and that Uther was old when he did.

When the nobles had gone and Uther sat with his knights discussing the coming tournament Nimueh appeared in the middle of the throne room and with a wave of her hands the knights surrounding Uther froze. Uther drew his sword but kept his distance as he stared at the witch before him – she was dangerous, more dangerous than any other sorcerer.

Nimueh laughed at him. "I gave you a gift Uther Pendragon and this is how you thank me? By killing all the people who have helped your kingdom."

"No one is helped by people who raise the dead or pretend to be other people for their own gain. No one is helped when one group of people think they are beyond the law." Uther spat out. "You gave me a gift? How dare you say that? You killed my wife."

"You asked for a son, you told me you would pay any price. You have a son; I must say he looks a lot like Ygraine."

"Do not say her name," Uther spat.

"She was a good person, she wanted a son and she got one."

"And then you murdered her." Uther bellowed at her his face darkening with rage.

"I took payment for your son, there must a balance – a life was created so one must be taken." Nimueh said patiently.

"You should not have taken Ygraine; you could have taken any useless servant. I would have handed one to you."

"Do you care so little for your people Uther that you would kill one so easily."

"They should be pleased to sacrifice their life for their future king," Uther said stepping closer.

"Ygraine sacrificed her life for their future king, should she not have been pleased?"

Uther rushed at Nimueh but she held up a hand muttering and he felt as though he had run into a wall.

"You were warned Uther Pendragon that Camelot would pay for your sins. Have you seen it yet? Are you ready to surrender?"

"I will never surrender to the plague that is magic; you have proven me right by this curse you place on my kingdom. I will burn magic from the land and this curse shall be lifted. I will never accept defeat at magic's hand."

"Uther Pendragon for the crime you have committed against magic, for the crime you swear to commit in the future your kingdom shall grow barren until the day that magic is joined with and accepted by the line of Pendragon."

The air around Nimueh shimmered and spread floating out and over everything.

"That will never happen, no Pendragon shall ever accept magic in their lives and magic will never be joined to the house of Pendragon."

Nimueh laughed. "You are a blind and prejudiced man Uther Pendragon and for the sake of your people I hope your son is smarter than you for no son shall be born to the house of Pendragon until a bond between Pendragon and magic is forged."

"I shall have grandsons Nimueh and there is nothing you, nor any other user of magic, will ever be able to do to stop that."

Nimueh laughed and then disappeared. The room unfreezing as Uther threw the sword at the place where Nimueh had stood.

"I shall destroy all magic," Uther yelled to the empty air before him, vowing that his last breath would not occur until magic was dead.

**/ / / **


	7. Leaving Home

**/ / / Leaving Home \ \ \ **

"Merlin," Hunith said curling her hand around Merlin's cheek.

"Mum," Merlin said. "I will be fine, I have to go. Old John is convinced I caused the flood last month. He is going to tell people about me if I don't leave and you have always said that Gaius is a good person. I am going to go and learn healing and herbs from him, and when Old John dies I will come back and I will be able to use what I learn with Gaius to help the village. By then no one here will remember the flood or that people thought I had magic."

"When did you get to be so sure of yourself?" Hunith asked hugging Merlin close. "I love you and you can come back anytime. We will take care of Old John together. Keep your cap on while you're travelling, hopefully it will mean the people you cross on the road won't think you are a woman alone."

"Mum," Merlin said running her finger down the space between her mother's eyebrows. "I can take care of myself, you know that."

"Yes," Hunith said straightening Merlin's tunic. "I wish I had enough time or could find enough material to make you some dresses, you won't be able to go around in men's clothes in Camelot."

"They don't like me going around in men's clothes here either." Merlin reminded her. "But it's so much easier to work in, I'm obviously a girl," Merlin said curling her hair up under her cap hiding the long length of black hair.

"Yes, but people know you here. As soon as you can you buy some material and make yourself a couple of dresses. Don't make things harder on Gaius; he's doing us a huge favour."

"I know, Mum," Merlin said hating the idea of actually having to wear a dress every day. "I will make them as soon as I can; I will do everything I can to make sure that I am not a burden to Gaius."

"He's a good man, and he can teach you so much, Merlin," Hunith blinked rapidly but forced a smile onto her face. "You really are meant for more than this little village Merlin, you could not have been given so much power to be a farmer."

"I don't mind being a farmer, besides it's easy work when I can plough a field without a horse."

Hunith laughed even as the tears started falling and hugged Merlin once more before handing her the pack. "You take care of yourself and write to me, I didn't spend all those hours teaching you to read and write for you to ignore me when you go to live in Camelot."

"I love you, Mum," Merlin said pulling her cap down and kissing Hunith on the cheek before walking out of her childhood home and down the road that would take her to Camelot.

It took Merlin days to walk to Camelot, when she was still hours from arriving she caught her first sight of the castle, hidden deep within the walls of the town with its flags flying and the white walls catching the sun. Merlin knew that whatever came while she lived in Camelot this place was going to change her life forever; she would no longer be the daughter of a farmer who had no father, she would no longer be the girl weird things happened too, everything would be different. As she looked at Camelot she felt her magic humming through her body with the blood travelling in her veins; singing and rejoicing at being so close, she was supposed to be in Camelot, she could feel it, her magic felt different now even this far away from the actual city her magic felt more somehow. With a large smile Merlin carried on walking faster even as her legs protested the long, repetitive journey.

_No young woman no matter how great can know her own destiny. She cannot glimpse her part in the great story that is about to unfold. Like everyone she must live and learn._

_And so it shall be for the young witch arriving at the gates of Camelot. A woman that will in time give birth to the legend. Her name…Merlin. _

She made it into the walls hours later and she could not stop staring and looking around everything here was different, so very different, from anything she had ever seen before. The city was full of people, more people than Merlin had ever seen in her life, her body was fairly humming with magic now, it felt like it wanted to come out of every pore like something was calling to the power within her and coaxing it from her body. Merlin looked at the stalls, so many things she had never seen before. There was something nagging at the back of her mind, something strange about the people she was seeing that she could not put her finger on. With a shake of her head she realised it must just be that so few of them were peddling food in this area, they must not work the land, their hands would not be full of splinters and there would not be dirt caked into the tiny cracks in their skin. They looked different from the people in Merlin's village – there was just something about them all that was different. Merlin wondered if all people who worked in towns were different.

Merlin kept moving; there was more to see and further to go - according to Gaius' note he lived in the citadel, high up above her in the very centre of the city. Merlin walked up and up and up; she felt as though she were walking up a mountain but she just found herself in a square, people standing together in a group whispering, talking about something Merlin could not see or hear, something important must be happening. Merlin walked to join them and could finally see the man being lead into the square by two guards.

"Let this be a lesson to all," Merlin, and the group surrounding her, all looked up to the man standing on the balcony. "This man Thomas James Collins is judged guilty of conspiring to use enchantments and magic. And pursuant to the laws of Camelot, I, Uther Pendragon, have decreed that such practices are banned on penalty of death. I pride myself as a fair and just king but for the crime of sorcery there is but one sentence I can pass." The man, the king, nodded and the executioner cut the man from his head.

It was so sudden and so surreal, one moment he was walking and now he was in two parts – Merlin's breath caught in her throat and she felt as though the world had stopped around her, no one had ever been murdered in front of her and yet these people around her barely seemed to react to such a horrific sight. The king continued to talk but Merlin couldn't understand what he was saying, magic was illegal. Why would her mother send her here if magic, if she – everything she was - was illegal? Merlin did not think herself very pretty but she liked her head just where it was. Her attention was pulled back at the pained moan coming from the centre of the crowd.

"There is only one evil in this land and it is not magic it is you with your hatred and your ignorance. You took my son and I promise you before these celebrations are over you shall share my tears. An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a son for a son." And then she was gone in a whirlwind of magic Merlin had never seen before and the crowd moved away quickly. Merlin walked away as well; she wanted to be as far from this place as possible. She needed to find Gaius, she needed answers.

/ / / \ \ \

Gaius' room was amazing, there was so much in it - so many things Merlin had never seen before. She'd spotted Gaius, caused him to fall and the scene in the courtyard fled her mind as without thinking she stopped him from dying by saving him from the fall. Gaius had been so annoyed, so forceful that Merlin didn't know what to say - Merlin really did not want to lose her head. Yet he didn't seem to want to kill her, or send her to the king only know how she had been able to do it which was the one and only question that Merlin had never been able to answer.

"You are dressed very strangely," Gaius said looking at Merlin in her boys breeches and tunic.

"I work on the farm and dresses just get in the way." Merlin pulled the cap from her head, her long plait falling down her back before she washed her hands and face. "I have some money to buy material so I can make some dresses, we can't get any decent material in Ealdor at this time of year. Also we thought it was best to not advertise the fact I am a woman while I was travelling alone."

"That is probably for the best," Gaius said dishing them both up some vegetable stew.

Merlin took a bite and smiled at Gaius. "I hope it won't cause too many problems while I put the dresses together."

Gaius ate thoughtfully for a moment. "It is probably best to continue hiding you hair under the cap when you are down in the village, best not to court trouble."

"Of course, people at home don't really approve either but they don't say anything anymore."

Gaius nodded and they continued to eat as Merlin told Gaius of her mother and her life in Ealdor.

After dinner Merlin yawned into her hand as she and Gaius were cleaning up. "You should be off to bed, you look rather tired and it is getting dark. We'll talk more in the morning."

Merlin nodded; she was exhausted from her journey and a real bed sounded like heaven after sleeping on whatever piece of ground she could find for the last few nights.

The room that Gaius had directed her to was cluttered and she could tell it was mainly used for storage but there was a bed that had obviously just been stuffed and a blanket and pillow sitting on the edge. Merlin went to look out the window, night had settled over the land and the city with its many lights spread out under Merlin's window. Merlin had never seen so many lights at night; she loved the city even after what she had seen. Merlin yawned again and pulled the window closed to turn back to the bed, when Merlin took off her boots and laid down she was asleep before she could even close her eyes.

**/ / /**


	8. First Of Many

**/ / / First Of Many / / /**

Morgana could hear Uther behind her; she knew he would come for her and demand her presence at the feast.

"Morgana, what is this? Why do you not join us at the feast?"

"I just don't think chopping someone's head off is cause for celebration. That poor mother, there are few enough sons in Camelot and yet you killed another one."

"It was simple justice for what he had done," Uther said forcefully.

"To whom? He practiced some magic, he didn't hurt anyone."

"You were not around twenty years ago you have no idea what it was like."

"How long are you going to keep punishing people for what happened then, how long are you going to keep punishing our kingdom for what happened then. If you stopped the curse might be lifted. If you stopped the kingdom might prosper again. Why will you not stop killing magic users? The kingdom is suffering. Soon there will be no children born to anyone in Camelot. If we have no kingdom, who will care if you removed all witches from the land?"

"Until they realise there is no room for magic in my kingdom. They will not force my hand, they cannot curse our kingdom and continue to do so and I cannot yield to them, I must remain firm and when they are all dead, when magic is dead then the curse shall be lifted and once again Camelot will be full of sons." Uther stopped and took a deep breath. "You will be with me when I greet Lady Helen.

"I told you I want no part in this-"

Uther turned on her quickly. "I am your guardian expect you to do as I ask. If you show me no respect at least show respect for our greatest singer." Uther said and turned to walk away.

"You know the more brutal you are the more enemies you will create," Morgana called to his back. "And Camelot will have nothing left but old men who remember the old days and women who blame you for their empty houses," Morgana finished but Uther was gone and he did not listen as she knew he wouldn't – he would continue to kill magic until there was nothing of Camelot left.

**/ / / **


	9. First Meeting

**/ / / First Meeting / / / **

A voice, deep and old whispering her name into her ear from somewhere far away woke Merlin up on her first morning in Camelot.

She didn't know what to expect from Gaius, the previous day he'd seemed vague and a little dim, not at all like the man her mother had spoken of. But this morning he was sharp, he'd noticed that Merlin didn't require washing water, it was something she had started doing to save water for the farm, it wasn't a lot just enough to give the beans a little more or give the flowers that had no real purpose something to live. Merlin simply thought herself clean and she was, but here she should probably start to wash normally again for more than her weekly bath to clean her hair.

It was all a test though, and a waste of water she should have called the water back into the pail instead of allowing it to fall onto the floor but she had been so shocked and she knew she wasn't supposed to do magic, not here. Even though this place made her magic sing, she felt like she was where she was supposed to be, she knew she could not practice – not with the easy flippancy she had always practiced before.

Again Merlin could not answer Gaius' questions; her magic was not learned it was just there she could do what she thought, if she thought of a rainbow she could create one and if she thought of a glass not falling it wouldn't. There had been no training, Merlin didn't even know that people trained to use magic she had always been able to do it, she could make a seedling grow overnight and warm the soup that had been allowed to cool while she played with no more than a thought why would she ever need to be taught?

Gaius looked equal parts worried and thoughtful before he nodded and sent her on her way with a list of instructions. "Merlin, your cap?"

Merlin smiled. "Sorry," she ducked back into her room and twisted her long hair up under her cap and came back downstairs.

Merlin grabbed the two vials just as there was a knock on the door. Merlin opened it with Gaius standing behind her, on the other side was an older woman wearing orange.

"Good morning, I am looking for Merlin," the woman said. "I am the assessor."

"I am Merlin," Merlin said with a smile.

"Are you?" the woman said looking Merlin over. "I do apologise, there has been a mistake. Welcome to Camelot, Merlin."

The woman left before Merlin could say anything else, she turned to Gaius but he just shook his head as she opened her mouth.

"You have errands to run for me and material to buy; now Sarah's booth is down in the lower town, she has long red hair and if you tell her I sent you she will give you a good price. She won't comment on your clothes either she is a good woman and should be able to get you everything you need." Gaius said leading her to the door.

Merlin left happy having an excuse to explore after she completed the chores he gave her, delivering two vials was really so easy compared to what she was used to and she knew she'd need to find some employment but she probably couldn't start until she had some dresses. Merlin knew she would be able to magic the dresses but her sewing was always better when she did it by hand rather than using her magic and neither Gaius nor her mother would approve of her using magic in that way. She was done in no time at all and could start heading down to see more of the town, it was a lovely lazy day. At home she would have already fed the animals and began to tend to their little vegetable patch however with no rooster to wake her she had slept past the sun coming up for the first time since she could remember.

Once she had delivered the potions and was free to roam again in the town she felt a tug, a pull right beneath her ribs, and she followed it. She had never felt her magic reaching for something like this. It was similar to the time when she was a small girl and Hunith had taken a fall, spraining her ankle, Merlin knew and had run from Will and into the village, she ran all the way home to find her mother pulling herself up into a chair. This feeling was different, stronger and deeper, though she didn't know what she was heading towards but Merlin followed without hesitation.

The feeling lead her to a group of men, a few years older than her, taunting a servant. Even as she felt it she told herself it was silly there was no way her magic could be leading her to someone who would treat a servant so poorly, someone who would think so little of the people who helped him. She could feel it though, a low hum singing through her blood when she looked at the blond man before her. She wondered if he had magic; she had never met anyone else who did before and she had always wondered what it would feel like. The woman in the courtyard yesterday had disappeared before Merlin had even had a chance to think about the fact that she was someone else with magic, but the feeling of power that swept through the courtyard in the woman's wake had been new; so different from her own but still with the underlining feeling of **magic**. Something had drawn Merlin to this group of men, the one in front in particular – there was something about him that called to her and she was going to find out what, after she told him off for being such a prat.

/ / / \ \ \

Arthur knew he should not taunt the younger man, knew it was not how a prince should act. But his sheer incompetence made Arthur angry, he had enough to worry about – did he need to do a squire's work as well?

How hard was it really to think of the fact that he would be staring into the sun, that that would make his throwing less than perfect, he could not be any less than perfect. He was Prince Arthur, he had to be better at everything than anyone else, one day he was going to have to lead the men he trained with into actual battle and if he were in a war he would want the very best of fighters standing at the front of the army and since no one else would stand at the front of his army but him there was no way that he was not going to be the best. Arthur ignored the little voice that reminded him that he would need skill throwing at every moment of the day and in every condition – mastering throwing into the sun was for moments alone, out in the forest during a hunt when he'd convinced his father to let him out alone, where no one was watching and no one could see his failures. This moment, standing in view of the castle, in view of nobles and peasants and his knights was the time to show his skills not his weaknesses. These were the moments to show his people that they could trust in his ability to fight, to kill when needed and to defend them and their lands.

Arthur knew he should not be so rude, Morgana was always telling him to be polite to his people, but his father was rarely polite to anyone but his most noble of families and he was the king so Morgana's words held less weight than he knew they should. The boy went to fix the target and Arthur knew he ought leave it be but with his friends at his back this seemed such a good moment to show his skill at hitting a moving target and hopefully make the boy think ahead next time.

Arthur would never hurt him, would never let the younger man be injured, he was after all under Arthur's protection, but that didn't mean he couldn't have a little fun while teaching the boy a lesson.

After the squire let go of the target in his worry it rolled to a stop under the boot of a tall, thin peasant with large ears wearing the silliest neck scarf Arthur had ever seen. The boy dared to tell him that it was time to stop, as though he had any say over what Arthur did, as though he had any right to speak to Arthur like that. He told Arthur he was an arse, dared to insult him, talked to the prince as though he were but a common boy level with the servant cowering in front of him. The peasant was obviously stupid and it was Arthur's duty to teach him a lesson, a night in the dungeon would hopefully knock some sense and decorum into the stupid boy's head.

Later, Arthur would wonder why the boy hadn't been more worried, he was down in the dungeon now but he'd seemed so very sure of himself, of his skills when it was obvious from the way he threw a punch that he had probably never been in a real fight. Someone might have tousled with him, someone might even have tried to teach him what to do but that boy who had stood up to him in the courtyard had never been in a real fight and yet had stood up to someone wearing practice armour as though there was a chance anyone but Arthur would win.

The words the boy had spoken stayed with Arthur all night, no one had ever been so blunt with him, from the time he was young people spoke around him, they tried to make themselves understood without ever coming out and telling him things. No one told him off, his old nurses had reprimanded him for silly things and Uther told him off constantly but no one had ever just stood before him and told him to stop what he was doing and that he was acting like an arse. Arthur began to see the boy might have been honest – stupid but honest. No one was honest with Arthur; no one spoke to Arthur that way except Morgana. Even when the king was speaking to him, reprimanding him his words were coloured with expectation and disappointment never the open censure that this peasant boy and Morgana spoke to him with.

Arthur was going to find the boy again and see what he had to say for himself this time.

The other man was apparently a friend of Gaius as the court physician had gone and released the boy before Arthur got down to the dungeon. His punishment was changed to time in the stocks but when Arthur went down Morgana's maid, Gwen, was standing beside him and the idiot boy was smiling at her like she hung the moon and Gwen was blushing so Arthur walked away leaving the insolent boy to his flirting.

**/ / / **


	10. Mistaken Identity

**/ / / Mistaken Identity / / / **

The voice woke her again. This time it spoke again, repeating her name to her when she was awake and Merlin realised it was coming from under her, under the very dungeons themselves. Before Merlin could work it out Gaius burst into the cell and Merlin pushed the strange voice from her head.

Merlin didn't know how regular people handled being in the stocks. She was able to deflect the ones that looked to be going to hit her in the eye or mouth as well as the fruit and vegetables that were not completely soft yet. Gaius was going to tell her off for doing magic but she needed to at least use a little spell to keep her cap on, if one of the children knocked it off her hair would reveal her as a woman and Gaius had said that the people of Camelot would be much less accepting of her dressing in men's clothes. The people of Ealdor had tried to convince her to act like a girl but she had never liked girly things and after a while they had given up accepting that she was just odd. Camelot appeared to be much more conservative and would probably give her more time in the stocks for her impropriety. Luckily the prince had been too distracted by her manner and words to see past the clothes, or at least Merlin assumed that the prince generally didn't invite a woman to fight with him nor send her to the dungeons. What's more Merlin had never made it down to Sarah's booth so she had no material to make some dresses. Merlin would never have thought anyone would think her a boy but from a distance with the clothes apparently Merlin could get away with it; admittedly she had received some scandalised looks from people who got too close. She just hoped she could get away with it long enough to get a dress made.

Merlin was laughing with the group of children who were pelting her with food when a beautiful woman came over to Merlin and smiled down at her.

"I'm Guinevere but most people call me Gwen. I'm the Lady Morgana's maid," the woman in red said in introduction and Merlin liked her immediately for more than just the fact she wasn't carrying any rotten fruit.

"Right, I'm Merlin." Merlin stuck out her hand to shake Gwen's. "Though most people call me idiot." Merlin said with a smile thinking that the list had extended now past Prince Arthur to include Gaius.

"No, no, I saw what you did. It was so brave."

"It was stupid." Merlin admitted, she should have just kept to herself but she could not have walked away from someone taunting anyone like that.

"Well I'm glad you walked away, you weren't going to beat him." Gwen said with certainty.

"Oh why? I could beat him." Merlin said defending herself.

"You think? Because you don't look like one of these big muscly fellows," Merlin looked up at Gwen surprised she thought she was a boy too? She was standing much too close to not see Merlin's face, she had never thought of her face as masculine but she supposed that if people saw men's clothes they just assumed.

"Thanks," Merlin said trying to work out if she should tell Gwen the truth or wait until she was wearing a dress and explain the mistake, she was nice and had come to speak to Merlin in the stocks but before she could say anything Gwen tried to fix it.

"No, no, I'm sure you're stronger than you look. It's just umm…that Arthur's one of those rough, tough, save the world kind of men. Well…" Gwen looked at Merlin.

"What?"

"You don't look like that," Gwen said her eyebrows squeezed together obviously thinking Merlin should have already known what she was going to say.

Merlin looked around and lifted and eyebrow to pull Gwen closer. "I'm in disguise."

Later Merlin would tell herself that if Gwen hadn't have laughed so hard she would have told the other girl the truth.

"Well it's great that you stood up to him."

"Really?" Gaius made it seem like everyone would question Merlin's mental faculties.

"Arthur's a bully and everyone thought you were a real hero."

"Oh yeah?" Merlin felt her chest expand; no one had ever thought her a hero or anything really but a strange girl. To hear someone say that about her made Merlin smile and look away which is when she saw the children coming back with more food and told Gwen she needed to get out of the way. Merlin might not like wearing dresses and she might be a terrible woman much preferring to go around dressed in men's clothes but even she knew that Gwen's red dress was pretty and did not deserve to be pelted with anything. As Gwen pulled away and Merlin smiled at her again the dark skinned woman stopped and frowned, she took a step back towards Merlin just as the first tomato flew at her head causing Gwen to stop and rush away shaking her head.

**/ / / **


	11. Meeting Redux

**/ / / Meeting Redux / / /**

Dinner with Gaius left Merlin more confused rather than serving to answer any of her questions. Though Merlin did learn about the ban on magic and a hint, just a possibility of what the voice that kept waking her could be. Merlin was pleased to have her cap off and her hair undone and laying down her back, it needed a wash but Merlin could not be bothered staying up long enough for her hair to dry. In Gaius' rooms it would take hours and times like this Merlin missed the ability to easily slip out into the sun and warmth that had been so easily accessible at home.

Merlin had gone to Lady Helen's room but the whole place felt strange, different and unsettling. Merlin couldn't help looking to see what was making her feel strange, she had to know. Lady Helen herself even felt off, something different and worrisome about her but Merlin just shook her head and rushed away, it was better not to get involved Gaius had explained that very carefully; Merlin just needed to keep her head down at the very least until she could once again be a girl.

Keeping her head down proved to be almost impossible when Merlin had run into Prince Arthur and his merry band of twittering prats. Merlin was going to just keep walking but she just couldn't help herself and before she knew it her mouth was open even as she told it to close so she could walk away.

/ / /

Arthur couldn't believe his luck, Merlin, the boy from the training field just walking past him; it was the perfect opportunity really to see if the thin man had anything between his overly large ears, Arthur knew he shouldn't say anything, should just let the other man get back to whatever he was doing but he could not let him pass without a single word.

Still the other boy was overly confident, knowing who Arthur was should have made him hold his tongue but he managed to call Arthur an arse twice and again boast of his ability to drop Arthur to his knees within moments of their meeting. Then the boy was yanking his coat off and Arthur threw him a mace wanting to prove this peasant wrong even as Merlin called him a prat and stood up to him as no man ever had more than once.

Arthur had to wonder why the boy even pretended he could fight, he could barely run away without falling over and yet Arthur kept pushing forward, pressing on an advantage that was not fair, this was not battle and he should not do this to one of his subjects but there was something about this rake thin man whose face was just too much of everything who kept standing up and defending himself. Arthur found he didn't want to walk away, he didn't want to do the right thing; what he wanted to do was to work Merlin out.

Arthur was distracted for a moment, mace swinging above his head by the way the light caught in the other boy's clear blue eyes making them look…gold? His distraction cost him, his mace ended up tangled in the scythes at his back. His people were gathered at both entrances to watch him defeat this boy or to watch him be defeated; he wasn't sure which they would enjoy more. Then his luck turned, he was normally so aware of his surroundings but he could not have seen the box for looking before his foot was stuck in it nor the rope. Then the boy was advancing on him instead and he ended up on his back but for some reason the boy paused giving Arthur his chance to stand and find a weapon and then to end the fight with the broom he found.

His guards rushed forward to seize the other man now that the fight was over but Arthur stopped them.

"Wait, let him go. He may be an ignorant fool but he's brave one. There is something about you Merlin. I can't quite put my finger on it."

Arthur had been truthful; there was something about Merlin that made Arthur pay attention, something that made Arthur see him even on the training field, something that stopped Arthur from being able to control himself and to walk away. There was something that made Arthur want to know this man, want to know more about him and work out whatever it was that made him so confident, so sure of himself. There was something about the way the man talked that made Arthur think there were secrets that Merlin might be keeping that Arthur should know. Arthur shook his head, it was nothing and there was nothing - the next time he saw Merlin he was going to pretend he didn't and walk away.

Arthur walked away carefully keeping his eyes from Gaius, who stood with the crowd, in case the older man turned his raised eyebrow on Arthur in reminder of all the ways that Arthur had just done something wrong.

**/ / / **


	12. Fallout

**/ / / Fallout / / / **

Gaius walked in following Merlin so angry at the young woman in front of him he felt like he was vibrating with it. Did she not realise how dangerous what she was doing was, not just the magic but magic in public in front of Prince Arthur. Merlin was going to get herself killed and Gaius would have failed in protecting her, would have failed yet another old friend and would have lost even more magic to Uther's hatred.

Merlin was angry herself, she could see no worth in her life beyond magic and Gaius understood; he remembered that feeling himself from long ago when he was a young man just starting out with his studies. Merlin was stuck, she was so very powerful and restrained here in Camelot, Gaius wished for a moment that Hunith had have had somewhere else to send the young woman. She deserved better than to be told she could never use magic properly and to be constantly told that the very thing that made her amazing and special was exactly what she had to hide from the world.

Gaius sighed and collected his things to go up to Merlin's room and tend to any wounds from her fight, he needed to apologise. He was stepping up when the weight of words from over fifteen years ago hit him. Kilgharrah had warned him all those years ago to expect Merlin. The great dragon had told Gaius of the coming of great power and having met Merlin the dragon had to have been speaking of the woman sitting sad and alone on her bed. Gaius had never in his life seen anyone with more natural power, not even Nimueh all those years ago had been able to perform spells with nothing more than a thought, she like all others had needed words and incantations. Kilgharrah had been right; something big had been created to make up for all the magic that had been purged from the land and it was the woman that was now under Gaius' protection. He understood now some of what the dragon had said about him being given a chance to rectify the mistakes he had made all those years ago. He could and he would protect Merlin, he just needed her help in hiding her magic from Uther and the people of Camelot.

Gaius thought back to that conversation, the dragon had said that Merlin would bring magic back to Camelot with Arthur's help, that she would help Arthur to unite the lands of Albion. The weight of that future settled painfully on Gaius' shoulders and he wondered how it would feel if that were his destiny. The future that the dragon had painted was bright but the journey there would be long and difficult and as Gaius pushed the door open he wondered if he could be the one to weigh Merlin down with the expectations of so many people.

Merlin was lying on the bed, her eyes wet but no tears had fallen. She sat up when asked and as she pulled her shirt off her modesty protected by a wide, tight, white bandage that held down her breasts she asked the question that Gaius was dreading, because Gaius did know why she was born like this, and he did know what purpose it served but faced with the bruises and marks on her back and the sad, defeated look in Merlin's eye he could not bring himself to add to the problems already facing Merlin. He had to say something when Merlin joked about being a monster, no one who knew Merlin even for two days could think her a monster. Gaius wished he could send Merlin down to the dragon and allow the ancient beast to tell Merlin for him but all Gaius did was hint and hope that when Merlin was feeling stronger he would have to strength to tell her everything.

**/ / / **


	13. Destined Meeting

**/ / / Destined Meeting / / /**

_Merlin. _Kilgharrah called. _Merlin._

Kilgharrah dropped his heavy head onto his front legs and waited knowing the young witch would be coming to him this night. He knew that she now knew of his existence and that she was coming down to speak to him. He could not wait to see the witch with his own eyes after having dreamed of her, and waited for her, for so very long.

The Great Dragon could hear her coming, could smell the fire heading towards him but still he called to the witch to make sure she made it.

Finally he saw her, her maiden's body hidden beneath men's clothes and her hair tucked beneath a cap. Kilgharrah could see how the disguise would fool some and he laughed at the idea of the greatest witch to have ever walked the Earth standing beside her king disguised not with magic but by the flimsy shield of clothes. He found the idea of her capturing the heart of Camelot's future king as a man almost enough to make him smile down at her. This might just be even more fun to watch than the dragon had ever hoped.

Kilgharrah knew how to make an entrance, flying down to surprise the girl landing on the rock so that he could see Merlin properly.

"How small you are for such a great destiny," Kilgharrah said. The girl was thin but tall and the dragon knew she was strong could feel it and see it swirling around her like the wind but it had been such a long time since any human had been in his cave that Kilgharrah forgot how tiny they really were.

"Why? What do you mean? What destiny?" Merlin asked and Kilgharrah knew that Gaius had not told the girl of her future, he was still a weak man, still liked to avoid things that were difficult; something time had obviously not changed.

"Your gift Merlin was given to you for a reason," Kilgharrah said deciding to leave for now the truth of why Merlin had quite so much of her gift. She was always destined to be powerful but the magic that had been killed needed to go somewhere and there was no reason she could not be more powerful than she had always been destined to be.

"So there is a reason," Merlin said, the relief pulsing off her in waves.

"Arthur is the once and future king who will unite the lands of Albion."

"Right," the young witch did not seem to believe him if her tone was anything to go by, obviously the whispers of power he had felt had in fact been the two of them meeting - their destiny begun.

"But he faces many threats from friend and foe alike."

"I don't see what this has to do with me," Merlin said stepping forward.

"Everything," Kilgharrah said thinking of the future he had seen for these two. The future that would bring magic back to this land and would see Kilgharrah in the skies once more free and allowed to spend his days in the sun and fresh air - hunting for things which would fill his belly with meat to spare. "Without you Arthur will never succeed, without you there will be no Albion."

Kilgharrah had seen it once, the future if Merlin left or died or simply had never come and it was even darker than the life that Kilgharrah now had, the land would run red with blood and war would grip all the kingdoms of Albion for generations. Arthur would be lost to history as nothing but a son who never became king; to those who even bothered to remember him at all. Merlin would be a healer and a wise woman of her village and when she passed from this world there would be no children to remember her and no people at all when those who had known her passed to Avalon as well. Albion would not unite for so long even Kilgharrah could not see it and the world outside of its borders would never know of King Arthur and the powerful Merlin and the world would be worse for it.

Merlin had to stay and she had to help Arthur because the other option was not something even the last dragon wanted to think of ever again.

"No, no, you've got this wrong." Merlin said adamantly

"There is no right or wrong only what is and what isn't."

"But I'm serious if anyone wants to kill him they can go ahead; in fact I'll give them a hand."

Kilgharrah couldn't help but laugh at that, Merlin did not yet realise what Arthur would mean to her, she did not yet understand how important the young prince was. One day when Merlin was old and they met again at the Lake of Avalon Kilgharrah was going to remind the witch of this first meeting even as she cried in mourning. But that was for the future.

"None of us can chose our destiny Merlin," Kilgharrah knew that more than most, his destiny to his never-ending regret was to be locked down here by a self-righteous king as proof of his power but with that pain came the pleasure of this, of being able to help such an important young woman as she walked the path to her own great destiny. "And none of us can escape it," which Kilgharrah knew even when he had foreseen his own future.

"No, no way, no, no there must be another Arthur because this one's an idiot," Merlin said but there was something in her voice or in the thrum of her magic that made Kilgharrah wonder if she'd already felt some of it, had felt the pull towards this place and that prince that would help her on her own path to greatness.

"Perhaps it's your destiny to change that," Kilgharrah stretched his body out and flew away even as the witch asked for more information. She could not know everything now; it did no one any good to know too much about their destiny. For now the fact her destiny was helping Arthur to become the man he could be would be enough to throw the witch into his path even if she thought him not worthy of her gifts or her time.

Kilgharrah laughed again when the girl was gone, Merlin was going to make his life interesting once again.

**/ / / **


	14. Locked In By Good Intentions

**/ / / Locked In By Good Intentions / / /**

Merlin was given a job at the celebration and was frantically trying to sew her dress when Gaius shook his head and told her she needed to leave, she would have to continue the charade for one more night, Gaius found some burned wood in the fireplace and ground it down to add some shadow to her chin since she would have to be close to so many people.

"Tomorrow when the dress is finished you simply go out, and if anyone asks you tell them that your brother came with you. We don't even have time for you to use magic to create it. The upside is when the wine starts flowing you will not have to worry about wandering hands," Gaius said as he pushed her from the door with a frown, Merlin decided to be grateful for the protection since she would probably end up in the dungeon, at least, if any of the nobles had have done something inappropriate to her when she was obviously a girl. Merlin had to run down to the Great Hall and she was still late to the meeting with the steward.

Morgana walked into the room and Merlin finally got a good look at the King's ward, she was lovely, beautiful in a completely different way to Gwen. Women from Ealdor were nice looking but they worked hard on their lands and for their families and most women looked older than their years from time spent outdoors with little time for anything but work. Merlin knew Gwen would work hard as well but she was lovely to start with. Merlin had never seen as many beautiful women as she had since she'd been in Camelot and she was glad to be a man for the night; she would hate for anyone to compare her to these women. Merlin was too thin, too tall, her cheeks too full and her lips too wide - she had been told those things by boys in her village all her life, her ears stuck out too much unless her hair was out to hide them and she had always had bony knees and elbows. There was nothing beautiful about her really; not that she didn't like the way she looked but she knew she would never be the beauty that she could see all around her in Camelot.

Morgana caught Arthur's eye but there was something in the way he looked at her that was also a little shadowed like he did not enjoy seeing her dressed as she was, and Merlin wondered if it was the shadow of possessiveness when Gwen said she'd been born to be queen. Morgana was definitely beautiful enough and high born enough to be queen but from the way she had spoken when Merlin had been mistaken for Gwen earlier Merlin wondered if she really wanted to be. Merlin shook herself, regardless of what the dragon thought Merlin's destiny was not the help Prince Arthur and who he ended up marrying wouldn't worry her since she would hopefully be back home in Ealdor by then.

Merlin was walking down the long table serving wine when Gwen pulled on Merlin's arm and tugged them both into a little alcove so they were hidden from sight.

"What is it?" Merlin asked looking around.

"I knew it!" Gwen said. "I didn't realise, not until the very end, you look just enough like a boy with your full features and your thin face to pull it off but that last time you smiled I thought you might be. Oh, it's a good disguise but why are you in disguise?"

"What?" Merlin asked trying to keep up.

"You are a woman!" Gwen said in a forceful whisper.

"Yes," Merlin confirmed.

"Why are you pretending to be a man?"

"I'm not," Merlin started and then paused. "Well I suppose tonight I am, honestly this is just how I dressed back home in Ealdor, we had a farm and dresses got in the way. Then I was travelling alone and I wore a cap because people don't look twice when they see a cap and men's clothes like they would if they saw a woman walking alone. It's been over a year since I wore a dress and my old one didn't fit so I had to buy material to make one and then I insulted Arthur and was in the dungeon and the stocks and now I am working here tonight and I didn't have a dress so Gaius and I decided to actually disguise me as a boy for the night and later I can finish sewing the dress and actually look like a girl."

"Oh!" Gwen said seeming to deflate at the explanation.

"I didn't think I looked that much like a man," Merlin said pitifully.

"Oh, you don't," Gwen said a little frantically. "It's just you have a thin face and you assume don't you when you see men's clothes and a cap. You don't look like a boy, once I realised not even the fake beard could hide it. You are a woman and I can tell only I couldn't before because I assumed. You are very pretty."

Merlin laughed. "I'm not but thank you. I just need to keep out of the way and then tomorrow I will dress properly and this can all be over."

Gwen nodded and then leaned forward to grab Merlin's hand. "Would you like me to come to your room tonight and help you, we could get the dress sown much faster than you could alone."

Merlin threw her arms around Gwen. "Thank you so much that would be amazing."

Gwen smiled. "No problem, now go and stand over there," Gwen pointed. "Stay out of the way and hopefully no one else will notice."

Merlin nodded and went over to where Gwen had suggested.

The singer began and Merlin felt the hair standing up everywhere on her body, her spine tingling and the nape of her neck grew hot, something wasn't right. She looked around the room and saw the people all blinking, nodding, falling and Merlin knew it was the music. She covered her ears not that the music stopped but she seemed to be immune to the spell that was weaving over everything, the sunlight turning to moonlight, the room covered in cobwebs and age as everyone slept on. Merlin stayed where she was watching and waiting to see why the singer was doing this. She saw the blade, the woman's eyes locked on Arthur and even as she remembered her words to the dragon she acted without thinking, she wanted the chandelier to fall and then watched as it did. The enchantment over the woman failed as she fell under the heavy weight of the wood and Merlin recognised her as the woman from the square on her first day in Camelot. The witch stood and before Merlin knew it the blade was flying and her feet were moving and she was running, grabbing Arthur who as it turned out was in fact a solid wall of muscle just before the dagger anchored itself into his chair – where his head had been. They both tumbled down hard onto the stone floor. Arthur climbed off of her and the king rewarded her with the position of Arthur's **man**servant.

Merlin didn't know what to say even as Arthur complained next to her, manservant – that was not good, she didn't mind being a girl who did not act as one but she had no desire to pretend to be a man forever; she was going to have to get out of this. Then Arthur looked at her for a moment and something about the realisation on his face made Merlin sure he'd realised his new manservant was a woman. He could help her get out of this.

Later, after the feast had been cancelled and Merlin was in her room staring into the flame of the candle Gaius come to see her and gave her the most amazing gift that had ever been bestowed on anyone – a book of magic. Merlin wanted to pour over every word but Prince Arthur had sent someone to fetch her and instead she hid the book away and went to meet her _destiny_.

/ \ / \ / \

Arthur was drinking from a goblet of water when Merlin finally knocked on his outside door. "Come in." Merlin stepped inside but didn't close the door at his back and Arthur sighed. "Close the door."

Merlin did as he was asked, Arthur noticed the other man, who could not be older than Arthur, had a shadow of stubble on his chin making him look strange, Arthur didn't think the other man should go around anything but clean shaven there was something wrong with the way he looked unkempt – he would have to mention it before the evening was out, he would not have a manservant who was unkempt.

"Thank you for saving my life," Arthur said quietly forcing every word out slowly. "It appears you are not nearly as useless as you appeared when we first met."

"That was almost a good thank you, you need to work on the ending though," Merlin said standing with his back to the door as though he was afraid to step too far into the room.

Arthur sighed. "This is not going to work, you are an insolent man and I really don't have the time or energy to teach you how to respect your betters."

"You are not my better, you just have a crown."

"Which makes me your better," Arthur explained slowly.

"No, it just accentuates your large head." Merlin said and Arthur couldn't help but let out a bark of laughter.

"My father will not be moved on the subject, you can stay in the position for a few days and I will find you useless, as I'm sure you are if the amount of wine you spilled this evening is anything to go on, and you will be moved on."

"Thank you, Sire," Merlin said his voice full of everything but respect. Arthur could almost hear the man's oddly soft voice calling him a prat again. Arthur bit his lip to hold in the smile at the tone and look of defiance on his face, at least the next few days might be amusing if not productive. Arthur looked at Merlin for a moment, he was still wearing the same clothes from before as well as his cap which he appeared to never take off and which never fell off, it had even remained on the boy's head in the stocks and during their fight, maybe the boy had a deformed head and it was hiding his disfigurement. Arthur forced himself back to the current topic.

"Where on Earth are you from that they don't teach you about respect and deference?" Arthur asked.

"Ealdor, in Cenred's kingdom," Merlin said. "He doesn't care about us beyond the money we have to send him. We haven't even seen a knight of his kingdom in years. Why should I have respect for someone who does not even care for his people?"

"We are not Cenred," Arthur said standing. "We care about our people."

"First thing I saw in your castle was a man removed from his head. I don't really see how that is caring for your people, his mother was devastated."

"He had magic; it is illegal and needs to be removed from the kingdom so that people do not need to feel terror at the hands of magic users anymore and can feel safe in our kingdom." Arthur said thinking the words sounded a little weird when they were not said by Uther's harsher voice.

"What did he do with the magic?" Merlin asked.

Arthur didn't answer for a long time just stared at Merlin.

"You don't even know. One of your subjects was killed for doing something with magic but you don't even bother to find out what it is?" Merlin said looking like he regretted saying the words even as he looked like he wanted to say more, Arthur hated that he was right…again.

"All magic is banned," Arthur said remembering every word his father had ever said to him about the subject.

"I know," Merlin said turning very quiet and looking down at the floor at his feet, Arthur watched him bite his tongue. "Gaius told me a little of the ban and some of what came before."

Arthur and Merlin stared at each other for a few minutes, Arthur didn't know what to say with Merlin looking tentative; he really preferred it when the other man was standing up for himself even if he was defending magic users. Arthur had never really met anybody with magic, only one group of Druids from a few months ago that he preferred not to think of.

"What are my tasks going to be as your servant?" Merlin finally asked breaking the silence.

"Not being incompetent is one of the biggest tasks," Arthur said. "Or I may be throwing knives at your head instead."

Merlin's face lost any hint of friendliness at Arthur's words and Arthur tried to hide his joyful expectation of Merlin's response.

"He was in your employment. How on Earth could you risk his life like that."

"His life was never in danger," Arthur said. "I am an excellent shot."

"Oh I am sure you are, but you are trained to hit the man you are throwing at."

"I am trained to hit what I want to kill," Arthur said with assurance.

"Oh well at least you didn't want to kill your servant only terrorise him, that is so much better," Merlin took a step away from the door while glaring at Arthur.

"He should have known better," Arthur said. "He put the target in front of the sun; his job is to set up for knight training. He should have thought his placement through."

"What is the job of a knight?" Merlin said seeming to change his mind about what he wanted to talk about.

"To protect the kingdom," Arthur answered immediately.

"And yet you did not protect him you made him cower before you for the enjoyment of you and your friends."

Arthur stood up all amusement for this conversation having fled, annoyance and guilt taking their place.

"Your actions are proof you are no better than Cenred, at least he leaves us alone. You went out of your way to humiliate and terrify a man who cannot stand up for himself for fear of his job."

"His job was never in danger, I just wanted to prove my point and ensure he thought about what he was doing next time."

Merlin stared at Arthur in disbelief and something in the other man's expression made Arthur step forward as he defended himself.

"I am not Cenred. I have been to every corner of the kingdom and I will do anything I need to in order to protect my people. You do not know me Merlin do not make such assumptions." Arthur held onto the anger Merlin's words caused for a moment.

"I have not seen that yet," Merlin said. "But I do hope it is true as your people deserve better than what I have seen so far."

"What makes you so sure of yourself? What gives you the right to speak to me as though I were just some peasant in your village?"

"What makes you think I should respect people based on who they were born to rather than their actions?"

"Society."

"Society already forces me into a lot of things I don't believe in," Merlin said mysteriously. "I don't want to have to bow before someone who does not deserve it."

"No one can choose who they have to bow to," Arthur said with quiet certainty. "Just as no man may choose the people who are higher than him in rank and privilege."

"What would you know of that? You are a prince, one day you will be king and then no one will be above you in anything."

Arthur sighed; he really wanted to change this topic. He enjoyed the honesty with which Merlin spoke but he also disliked the straightforward way he looked at all things and the painfully truthful way he saw what was in front of him and then said it regardless of the consequences.

Arthur reached out and grasped the first thing that he could see that would change the direction of the conversation. "What on Earth is this stupid cap hiding?" he asked yanking the material off of Merlin's head allowing a never-ending cascade of black hair to tumble out and down reaching below Merlin's waist. "You're a girl!"

"Of course I'm a girl, is it a necessity to be daft to be a member of the Camlet royal family? I am standing right in front of you and yet you cannot see it?" Merlin asked snatching her cap back. "Do you have any idea how hard it is to get all my hair back up under there?"

"Why do you have all that hair if you don't like it?"

"Who said I didn't like my hair?" Merlin asked dropping the cap onto the table and twisting her hair up and around in a way that fascinated Arthur; he could not look away from Merlin's hands as she quickly and skilfully made her hair disappear until she managed to hide it all with one hand her cap settling back over it all and making her ears stick out again.

"You hide it," Arthur said to explain now that he could look away.

"It is a tradition in my village; women do not cut their hair, so neither do I."

"Never?" Arthur asked wishing he could see Merlin's hair again.

"No," Merlin said. "I always had much longer hair than other women, it is normally just plaited but tucking it out of the way can just be easier. I grew up a farmer."

"Does Gaius know you are a woman?"

"Of course he does, for one he's a physician and we live together, plus he isn't an idiot. You really thought I was a boy? A couple of the times you looked at me and I thought you saw through the clothes."

"Yes," Arthur said again. "I would never challenge a woman to a duel regardless of how insubordinate and rude she was."

"Well now you have, and now I am your maidservant. By the morning I will have finished sewing myself a dress." Merlin's voice changed and Arthur knew the rest of what she said wasn't really directed at him. "No one passing through Ealdor ever thought I was a boy."

"No, you need to continue on as a man. Is that where you are from?"

"I never started as a man!"

"My father thinks you are. You are wearing breeches and a tunic, you have no…you are slight, I think it is best if we continue to let them think you are a boy."

"Do I really look so much like a man?" Merlin asked sounding sad.

"Not now that I know but the clothes allow people to assume, and I think it would be best for both of us if you were a boy rather than a woman."

"Why?"

"Because I will not be given a maidservant and you saved my life but I have no interest in having sex with you."

"That made no sense. Why on Earth would I ever have sex with such a prat of a prince?"

"You cannot call me a prat; I am your Crown Prince."

"Not really, I'm from Ealdor in Cenred's kingdom, you are just a prat who picks on people who work for you."

Arthur stared at Merlin for a few very long minutes but decided not to rise to that fight again. It was enough time for Merlin to look like she wanted to squirm under his gaze but she held herself still and allowed him to look at her. Arthur had to respect that.

"Then you most definitely need to be a man."

"Why?"

"Did a woman come and see you just after you arrived, she would have been wearing orange and introduced herself as the assessor?"

"Yes, but she said there had been a mistake and left after welcoming me to Camelot."

"Well at least we know most people think you are a boy."

"Sire," Merlin said somehow making it sound like an insult. "Please explain what you are talking about."

"Camelot has been cursed, for years as I'm sure you know, ever since my father started the Great Purge." Arthur ignored Merlin's look of disgust. "If he knew you were a woman from another kingdom he would have given you the position of royal consort – he's been trying to find someone suitable for a while. As royal consort you would be expected to sleep with me and then provide me with children, they would be made my heirs unless I produced one legitimately with whomever my father eventually marries me off to. Normally a deal is struck between the man and woman involved but as in marriage I have no choice in whom my consort will be."

"Oh," Merlin said her shoulders hunching in a little at the idea.

They stood in silence for several minutes.

"I will pretend to be a boy," Merlin said finally.

"Thank you," Arthur said. "Now go I shall expect you to fetch my breakfast for me in the morning before waking me and we will discuss the rest of your duties."

"Yes, Sire," Merlin said turning to the door and leaving.

Arthur stared at her back as she left trying to work out how she managed to say 'Sire' and mean 'prat'.

**/ / / **


	15. A Curse Explained

**/ / / A Curse Explained / / / **

"Gaius?" Merlin called out as soon as she was through the doorway.

"No need to yell, Merlin." Gaius said stepping out from behind a screen in the far corner.

"How is Camelot cursed?" Merlin asked sitting down. Arthur had seemed so sure she'd already known and she couldn't get past having to sleep with him if everyone knew she was a woman to have been able to ask though, now, it was all she wanted to know.

"Uther has been killing sorcerers for over twenty years, the old religion requires retribution. Camelot pays for the war with magic in children; there is virtually no birth rate in the kingdom. For every man in Camelot only one in twenty of them will ever have a child."

"What?" Merlin asked her eyebrows knitting as she tried to work out how the kingdom could survive without children, and she wondered how she had never heard of the curse.

"The curse affects both men and women but all people are affected, the lower classes have a higher birth rate than the upper classes. Who told you about this?"

"Arthur, when he realised I am a woman and not the boy he assumed. Why haven't I heard about it?"

"You come from a small village," Gaius said. "And Uther has been trying desperately to keep a lid on the curse since he learned of its existence. It could be used against us – less new men coming into the armies if there are none being born."

Merlin nodded, her home had been small and it had not been near any trade routes or major towns or roads. It was a small village, left to its own devices. It did not really surprise Merlin that they would not have heard of this curse when she thought about it.

"Uther thinks you are a boy too," Gaius said with understanding. "I had hoped you could have passed unnoticed until you settled and managed to come out as a woman. I thought you would have known about the curse and why it was best to pass under notice, but, you did the right thing in saving Arthur."

"Arthur has asked me to let everyone think I am a man."

Gaius sat and thought for a moment and Merlin began to think of all the ways that her pretending to be a man could go wrong. She tried not to think of what would happen when the secret was out.

"Though I am worried about this decision, eventually you will be found out. It may work for a while though and then Arthur would be able to fire you and we could send you home. Your sister could come in your place I suppose and then you can find another job."

"That is a good plan; Arthur has every intention of firing me in a couple of days when I prove useless."

"That is for the best," Gaius said. "We do not want you placed as a consort; any child of yours is likely to be magical. You are less likely to ever have trouble conceiving than a servant born and raised in Camelot. If Uther had known that you come from Cenred's kingdom and that you are a woman you would be given the job of consort immediately. It is considered a great honour. Any child of yours would become royalty even if they never took the throne."

"I see no honour to being forced into being a consort." Merlin said her face awash with judgement.

"I agree, though most women in the role have chosen to be there. All of the consorts in the beginning were mistresses who had been hidden away but then pulled out into the open and accepted as something else. They still are, instead of men taking a mistress and hiding her somewhere from his wife he takes her as a consort and they might get a child out of the bargain which allows the nobles lands and monies to continue on."

"But the child would not be mine in that position; they would be someone else's."

"It is standard practice for the mother to help raise the child, she is given the role of nursemaid if there is a wife but she is always their mother. Women who provide nobles with heirs are given a lot of comforts and rank they would not have had otherwise."

"I would not stay knowing I was pregnant." Merlin said firmly.

"Merlin, a consort's child has a better life than the consort could ever give them. Many women think it a fair trade, they are still part of their child's life and their child grows up to be nobility."

"What do the lower classes do?" Merlin asked.

"If they cannot conceive with their wives on one night a season they share with their neighbours. All children are kept by the wives regardless of who the father is. It only occurs once a season to ensure that there is no question of infidelity. Though some couples, both noble and not, chose to accept that they will never have children and simply live out their lives as they would have otherwise."

Merlin was silent for a long time.

"How many?" Merlin said in a small voice.

"How many what?" Gaius asked.

"How many children are born a year?" Merlin asked again.

"Since the winter solstice we have had reports of twenty children born."

"It's almost the winter solstice again – twenty children in almost a whole year?"

"Yes," Gaius said.

"In the whole city."

"In the whole kingdom," Gaius corrected causing Merlin to look up at him horrified.

"That explains why there are so few children in the town." Merlin said realising what was missing as she walked through town that first day.

"Yes, the nobility is trying to marry with outside of the kingdom but the threat of being barren hangs over every marriage contract and makes foreign families hard to convince. Uther has not been completely successful in hiding what he had done to his kingdom," Gaius explained.

"So," Merlin said finally. "For now on I am a boy."

"Yes," Gaius said. "It would appear so."

"It is a good thing I have never liked dresses," Merlin said yawning just as there was a quiet knock on the door.

Merlin went to open the door, Gwen standing on the other side. "Sorry, I only just finished with Morgana."

"Come in Gwen," Merlin said stepping aside to allow her past.

"Hello, Gaius," Gwen said.

"Gwen," Gaius said standing. "I will continue with what I was doing and leave the two of you to it."

"Come and sit down, Gwen," Merlin said sitting down and pouring them both a glass of water. "There is a problem."

"The fact you have just been given to Arthur as a manservant?"

"Yes," Merlin said relaxing. "Arthur had no idea I was a girl until he called me to his chambers earlier tonight."

"What are you going to do?"

"Arthur is going to fire me when I prove to be useless, which I am not. Until then I am going to pretend to be a man."

Gwen looked at Merlin with a frown. "What will happen if you are discovered?"

"With any luck," Merlin said with a quiet smile. "He will have fired me by then."

"Hopefully, I would suggest you don't use the charcoal again," Gwen said rubbing some of the dark substance from Merlin's chin.

"Right, no more charcoal. Any other suggestions, I doubt Arthur is going to suggest I plough a field and I don't know anything about being a manservant."

"I will help you as much as I can," Gwen said. "Your duties will basically be feeding, dressing and cleaning up after Arthur. You will have to go with him places, which given it's Arthur will involve going hunting with him and maybe even when he is on patrols with his knights, you might need to deal with his horse but really that is a job for the royal steward in the stables who is in charge of Uther's, Morgana's and Arthur's mounts. You may also have to deal with his armour but basically it will be a job of looking after pretty much everything for him."

"Sounds like such fun," Merlin said sarcastically. "I have a feeling I am going to have a great appreciation of farming when this is all over."

"Probably," Gwen said with a smile.

Merlin looked at Gwen. "I assume Morgana is less of an arrogant bully than Arthur."

Gwen nodded. "Morgana is a great mistress."

"I am sure she is," Merlin said. "But basically all of this means I have more time to make the dress so you can go home if you want and get some sleep. I cannot tell you how much I appreciate you offering to give up your time to help me."

"Are you sure you don't want to finish the dress tonight anyway?" Gwen asked.

"No, I can have it finished by tomorrow night working alone."

"If you are sure," Gwen said standing.

"I am positive," Merlin said. "I will do some tonight before bed and I assume at some point tomorrow I will get some time before I go to bed and I'll finish it."

"Merlin, if you need anything or want help with anything come to me. I am happy to help you learn what you need to get your new job done."

"Thank you Gwen, I am so pleased I met you."

"Thank you," Gwen said with a blush. "Happy to help, goodnight, Merlin." Gwen turned to Gaius. "Goodnight, Gaius."

"Goodnight, Gwen," Gaius said coming out. "Give my best to your father."

Gwen nodded and disappeared out of the room leaving Gaius and Merlin alone.

"You had best get to bed, the day of a servant starts earlier than you have managed while you have been here," Gaius said with a smile.

"So I was informed, I have some sewing to do first," Merlin said before grabbing a jug of water and walking towards her room, when she reached the door she stopped and turned back to Gaius. "We are going to have to see what we can do to lift the curse, Gaius."

"I have been researching that for several long years." Gaius said with a heavy sigh. "I see no end to the curse until Uther stops killing magical practitioners or he dies."

Merlin sighed as well. "Goodnight, Gaius."

"Goodnight, Merlin." Gaius said watching her walk into her room knowing that keeping this secret might be even harder than keeping her magic from the court.

**/ / /**


	16. Valiant

**/ / / Valiant / / /**

Merlin hated swords, she had played with them as a child with Will but she just hated them. Swords were clumsy and heavy and it was so easy to stumble while carrying one and end up with a scar running the length of your thigh that had taken a month to heal properly and meant you couldn't participate in the Beltane celebrations. Merlin did not like swords and yet Arthur handed her one and made her use it. It took every ounce of Merlin's willpower not to just send a wave of magic at Arthur and knock him on his arrogant arse to pay him back for the bruise she was going to be nursing on her backside for the next week.

"Can we stop now?" Merlin asked again.

"No, get up Merlin. I have a tournament to win."

"Oh yes, because all of your opponents will be reedy girls dressed as men. Well-chosen sparring partner, Your Highness." Merlin grumbled standing again.

"Don't use the fact you're a woman as an excuse, as Morgana tells me often girls can fight just as well as men if not with as much brute strength."

Merlin scowled at Arthur and dropped the helmet back down. "I have never used being a girl as an excuse," Merlin punctuated her words with a clumsy parry to Arthur's shoulder. "I am a farmer's daughter – we had no man for brute strength so we did it alone," Merlin hit his chest this time. "I doubt you have ever had to stand in the sun with your back bent sowing seeds until you feel as though you might never again stand straight," Merlin hit Arthur's other arm as he stood and let her. "I do not think being a girl changes anything; anything you can do as a man, except be an utter prat, I can do as a woman." Merlin hit him one more time but her point was ruined when the sword glanced off his arm plate and dragged her down to the ground so she once again landed on her abused knees.

"Oh yes?" Arthur said pushing her helmet out of the way so he could see her face. "I dare you to father a son."

"From what Gaius told me not even…" Merlin cut herself off suddenly her eyes turned apologetic for all of a moment before she shook herself at Arthur's defiant face. "You find me a man who is able to bear a child for nine months, then give birth to it and raise it and I will find you a woman who can rut on top of another woman for a moment and think herself special."

Arthur laughed; it was a loud barking sound that made Merlin smile before struggling to her feet and taking up the stance.

Arthur waved her away. "I will teach you to fight. But, you are right sparring with one of my knights is the real practice for tomorrow. For now, go and prepare my armour."

"Sire," Merlin said standing and walking away.

Merlin made it back to Gaius' room and his laughing stare before it really came to her, she had absolutely no idea what to do with armour, how on Earth did one go about preparing armour? Didn't knights just put it on and run off to fight?

Gaius gave her a tonic for her aches and pains before adding to them with a swift clip around the ear for using magic. Merlin decided she was going to take advantage of Gwen's offer of help from last night, and again this morning as they passed one another collecting things from the kitchen.

Merlin found Gwen in Morgana's chambers tidying.

"Gwen, who would I go and see to find out how to prepare Arthur's armour for tournament?" Gwen stared at her for a moment before Merlin flushed. "Oh I am sorry, hello Gwen; I have a favour to ask. I forget sometimes that I start conversations with people before I actually start talking to people."

"That's not why I was, are you well you have a bruise coming up on your cheek."

"Oh," Merlin lifted her hand to her cheek and felt along it. "My own fault really, I am useless with a sword."

"Arthur did that to you?"

"He wanted me to show him how I am with a sword, well actually he wanted to spar with me in preparation for the tournament but I really am useless. I only landed a blow because he stood there and let me."

There was a laugh from behind the changing shield and Merlin turned quickly to see Morgana stepping out fiddling with the arm of her gown.

"Oh, Lady Morgana," Merlin said. "I apologise for coming unannounced."

"It's quite alright," Morgana said. "Gwen, can you help me with this sleeve?"

"Of course, My Lady," Gwen said stepping over and fixing the sleeve.

"Why don't you go and help Merlin with Arthur's armour? I am only going down to lunch with Uther; there will be other people there to help us."

"Oh thank you, Lady Morgana, Gwen will you help?"

"Yes, of course, are you sure, My Lady?" Gwen said looking to Morgana for confirmation.

"Positive, we cannot give Arthur an excuse if he were to lose the tournament." Morgana said but Merlin thought there was more to it in the way that Morgana was looking at Gwen.

"Thank you, Lady Morgana," Merlin said just catching herself before she bowed as a woman instead of a man. Gwen said she would meet Merlin down at the prince's chambers to collect anything they needed. With a final smile at Morgana Merlin left Gwen to the finishing touches of her duties.

Gwen proved to be an expert with armour and Merlin wanted to hug the other girl. Merlin had only seen armour on knights and armies that travelled past Ealdor and had never actually had to deal with it. She had caught glimpses of Will's father's armour where it was hidden away in a chest but Will's mother had chased them from the house when she saw that they were looking. That was the last time she had been this close to it. Gwen knew all the names and how to tie the different parts on, Merlin watched and practiced realising as Gwen explained why each piece of armour was so important, how each piece worked as part of the whole to protect Arthur. Gwen showed Merlin how to polish the armour, how to check the chainmail, what to look for, how to repair a torn tie; everything Merlin would need to know for the tournament. Then with a shy smile Gwen had offered to teach Merlin about the rest of the armour that the prince would wear and when he would need it. Merlin couldn't think of a single person who had ever offered her so much help for having known her such a short time when Merlin could offer nothing in return. Gwen just waved away her words – that is what one did for a friend, she said firmly.

"I worried I would have no friends in Camelot," Merlin admitted quietly. "I only ever had Will and Mum; the other village children thought I was weird. I am so very pleased I met you, Gwen."

Gwen had blushed and stammered out a thank you telling Merlin she was pleased Merlin had come to Camelot as well; though she would be more pleased when Merlin was not in danger of punishment for her disguise.

Merlin woke the next day confident in her ability to dress Arthur for the tournament and she almost managed it…apparently swords were important.

Merlin watched Arthur standing on the field, saw the way Uther came up to his son, did not wish him luck only told him to do what was expected and Merlin realised this tournament was not about a trophy for Arthur – it was all for his father. Arthur chanced his life for the approval of his own father. Merlin hated watching him; she did not like the fear or the worry that twisted her stomach every time Arthur was struck. Merlin didn't even know why she was so worried Arthur was an amazing fighter but she felt the words of the dragon during every fight. It was her job to help him get to the throne one day and her job to keep him alive until then and even though she had scoffed at the words coming from the dragon, right now, standing on the edge of the tournament ground she found that she wanted to help him.

/ / / \ \ \

"I believed you; I trusted you and you made me look…a complete fool." Arthur said and yet his words did not hurt Merlin more than the look on Arthur's face as he had walked past her in the throne room, after his father had called him a coward. Merlin wanted to fix it; she wanted to prove herself right so that Arthur would not look so pained. "My father and the entire royal court think I am a coward, you humiliated me."

"We can still expose Valiant." Merlin said hoping she could fix this, that Arthur would let her fix this. He did not deserve to be called a coward. Merlin knew that was what hurt him. Arthur had been shown to be wrong but the pain came from someone thinking he would not fight any person who stood before him in challenge regardless of the circumstances.

"I no longer require your services," Arthur said his back to Merlin.

"You're sacking me?" Merlin had wanted that so desperately as soon as Uther had given her the job. More than that it had been the plan but now, seeing Arthur for what he was. Someone who would take the word of a servant and make his claim, someone who fought for his king not for his own glory as Merlin had assumed when this whole tournament started Merlin found that she wanted to help Arthur. The dragon could be damned Arthur was not her destiny but he could be a good person if he just stopped trying to be someone else. Merlin wanted that for him, and she found that she wanted to help him get there even if she had to do it as a man.

"I need a servant I can trust." Arthur said making the sick feeling in Merlin's stomach twist tighter. She had ruined everything.

"You can trust me." Merlin said knowing that if Arthur knew the truth, knew how she knew what she could do, he would never trust her and she would be dead before the day had passed but he could trust her, even if she could not trust him.

"And look where it got me this time, get out of my sight." Arthur spat. "After all that was the plan, you just did a sterling job of being completely untrustworthy and useless."

Merlin left, turning once to see him sit against his table, slumped and defeated and she knew what she needed to do.

The dragon was so very useless. 'A heart cannot hate that which makes it whole' – what was that supposed to mean, and how on Earth was that supposed to help her prove that there was snakes living in a shield? Stupid dragon. Merlin was on her own and she needed to prove that he was right – she needed to show that Valiant was using magic. She could think of nothing, she did not know what to do and then Gwen saved her again. Gwen who was the sweetest person Merlin had ever known gave her the right idea.

/ / / \ \ \

Duty. It was a word that Merlin was coming to hate.

The dragon said that it was Merlin's duty to protect Arthur. Arthur said it was his duty to die on a tournament field rather than save himself. Uther said it was Merlin's duty to shut up and do what Arthur told him to. Duty was quite possibly the worst thing about being in Camelot. In a small village, living on a farm Merlin's duty had been to provide food for herself and her mother, to keep the roof over their heads and keep them safe – her duties had been sensible and for their future and their little family. Now all Merlin saw of duty was pain and idiocy. Yet even knowing that she would never be thanked for what she did and that she would have to hide forever because of Arthur's duty to his father she walked back towards her room to try and complete the duty the dragon had placed heavily on her shoulders.

/ / / \ \ \

At the celebratory feast Merlin was still wearing men's clothes but she was keeping to herself. Arthur followed her every move regardless but he waited until Merlin was close by before he grabbed the girl's elbow.

"I wanted to say I made a mistake, it was a mistake to sack you in that way," Arthur said quietly ensuring no one else was listening.

"It's fine," Merlin said. "After all you were going to fire me anyway."

"Yes, I was," Arthur said wishing it wasn't the case. Merlin had proved herself to not be nearly as incompetent as expected and had done more to help Arthur than Morgana had, he would not have been as weary of the shield if not for Merlin.

"I am leaving Camelot tomorrow," Merlin went on whispering into the air between them and Arthur felt his hands clench at his side for no reason he could think of. "A couple of days later my sister will be coming to Camelot."

"And what is her name?" Arthur asked trying for a flirtatious tone.

"Merlin," Merlin said flatly but her lips were twisted up into a smile. "It's a family name; I'm hoping that I don't run into the king when I'm a girl so we won't have any problems."

Arthur nodded and let Merlin go but the next time she moved past him his hand shot out again and gripped her elbow stopping her and forcing her to turn to him. "Would you consider staying on as my servant?"

"I am not a man, Arthur, and one day people are going to notice."

"Not if you don't want them to, what are you going to do as a woman?"

"I will find employment somewhere, maybe down with the seamstresses. I am very good with a needle and thread." Merlin said. "I could work in the kitchens or down in the lower town helping someone, I know how to work hard."

"I know you do, maybe you should stay will me a little longer, at least until you can find yourself a job. I know for a fact the castle is not looking for any new women for work."

"Oh," Merlin said looking down at the jug in her hands. "Are you sure? I really do need to work. I can only help Gaius out for so long before I become a burden and I promised my mother…nothing, never mind."

"Come and fetch my breakfast tomorrow and I will have a word with the castle stewards. As soon as a job comes up for you I will fire Merlin and Merlin can come to town." Arthur said hoping she would agree.

"Very well, Sire. I will see you in the morning then," Arthur let her go but his eyes still managed to follow her around the feast for the rest of the evening until she and Gaius disappeared and he looked instead for more interesting things to look at.

**/ / / **


	17. The State of Things

**/ / / The State of Things \ \ \ **

The day after the feast Merlin appeared when Arthur was still in bed. Merlin put his breakfast down and started picking the clothes Arthur had thrown on the floor after the feast; his tunic was hanging from the side of Arthur's bedframe which made Merlin roll her eyes. She found a pair of undergarments beneath Arthur's breeches, female undergarments. Merlin picked them up with a frown just as Arthur stretched and sat up.

"You are here on time," Arthur said with a yawn. Merlin decided not to correct him.

Merlin held up the undergarments in her hand and looked at Arthur not quite sure what she wanted to say.

"They should be returned to Jane down in the kitchens, pretty girl with red hair." Arthur said allowing his body to flop back down onto the bed.

"What?" Merlin said throwing the cloth at his head. "I think you can do that yourself. I am not your…"

"Exactly, you are my servant, Merlin, and sometimes that will mean helping me return clothes to women who warm my bed."

"They forget their clothes a lot?" Merlin asked.

"They think they will be able to come and collect them later for another tumble but I cannot afford to show favour to anyone," Arthur said moving to the end of the bed. "You might want to go and return them now before you get to view your prince in all his glory."

"First he would have to have some glory and not be a prat who uses the woman in his employ," Merlin said gathering all the clothes and stalking from the room.

She was still muttering about Arthur under the breath when she made it down to the kitchens, Jane looked at her and sighed but came over and dragged her behind one of the half walls so that Merlin could hand over the undergarments.

"I knew it wouldn't work but it was worth a try, right?" Jane said folding the garment up and sliding it into a bag hanging from the wall. "My friend Anne laid with him after the last feast and she told me not to bother with the trick, it works sometimes doesn't it? But, Arthur is different, he will tumble with a girl more than once but never close together, he doesn't want anyone to think he's looking for a consort."

Merlin stared at the other girl not entirely sure why she was telling Merlin all of this.

"Oh, you are new and you looked so offended on my behalf," Jane said reading her face. "I propositioned him, he never makes moves on any of the servants lets them do it for him. There has to be something good to come out of this curse, I might never have a child but I do get to have some fun," Jane said with a shrug.

"Jane!" The head cook bellowed.

"Thanks for bringing them, Merlin, right?" Merlin nodded still having no idea what to say. "I'm sure we will see more of each other, come find me and I'll give you something sweet that's left over tonight. Bye."

Merlin watched the woman bounce away, she didn't feel that she had been taken advantage of. She said she had asked Arthur to bed not the other way around. It was possible Merlin might owe Arthur an apology…but not if she could help it.

**/ / / **


	18. The Mark Of Nimueh

Sorry, between RL and some challenges I'm participating in I've just been so busy. I will try to be better.

**/ / / The Mark Of Nimueh / / / **

Arthur sat in his chambers ruminating on the time they'd spent down in the tunnels. Mainly those moments before the fire destroyed the beast. Arthur had heard Merlin's words before the wind blew and the fire grew and the beast was killed. Merlin's voice chanting something that was not English and Arthur watched as the fire grew for no reason before him to kill the beast. Arthur had heard words like that before, in a little druid encampment he'd been sent to cleanse, they were words of magic.

Could Merlin have magic?

Arthur remembered back to his words in the council chambers 'There is no way he is a sorcerer' could he have been so wrong?

Arthur wondered if Merlin was the reason that Gwen's dad lived. Merlin could have been admitting to her own actions before the council and Arthur had saved her. Uther would kill Merlin with less proof than Arthur's suspicions but the fire had saved them all and had killed the beast.

If Merlin was magic and magic was evil then Merlin would not have saved them, she would have just left that beast to kill them all slowly.

Arthur could hear his father's voice reminding him of the treachery of magic, that Merlin could have created the beast and then helped Arthur to kill it so he could gain Arthur's trust.

Arthur thought back to every moment since he had met Merlin. She had never done anything but attempted to help him; she had saved his life. She protected him from Valiant and she was stupidly loyal even while she was insubordinate. She was nothing like the sorcerers his father has told him about or that he had met. He tried not to think about the druid camp, the memory doing nothing to help him only twisting his stomach tightly.

Arthur must have been wrong, it was the only explanation he could accept. Arthur decided he had simply heard the wind as he sunk into his mattress and forced himself to sleep.

/ / /

"I want to talk to you," Morgana said as she closed the door behind her.

Arthur looked up from his breakfast. "Good morning, Morgana. How are you?" Arthur said sarcastically watching her wearily.

"Arthur, stop being annoying, I am serious. There is something I need to tell you."

"Sit down, Morgana. Would you like some fruit?" Arthur said with a sigh before smiling up at her.

Morgana squinted at Arthur. "Why are you in such a good mood?"

"We saved the people of Camelot from a terrible curse," Arthur said with a grin.

"This is Merlin's doing," Morgana said watching him closely for a moment. "Actually, there is something about Merlin we need to discuss."

Arthur looked at her terrified for a moment. "What?"

"Merlin is a woman," Morgana said watching Arthur carefully but he relaxed when she said it and then smiled at her.

"Took you this long to work it out?" Arthur asked his voice soaked in glee as he gloated. "What gave it away?"

"There was a moment down in the tunnels when she was surrounded in black and all I could see was her face and I recog…I realised she was a girl." Morgana knew she had covered that very poorly but she didn't really wish to tell Arthur that she recognised Merlin from one of her dreams from months before Merlin came to Camelot.

Arthur nodded and Morgana relaxed. "I have known she was a girl from the night she was given the position with me. But, what would Uther do with a female from Cenred's kingdom that saved his son's life?"

"He would have made her your consort," Morgana said sitting back.

"Exactly," Arthur said handing her a strawberry. "I don't want a consort; especially not one someone else chooses for me. I don't like the practise."

"I know you don't, you've been avoiding taking one for years. So you convinced her to pretend to be a boy?"

"She came to Camelot dressed as a boy so I just convinced her to keep doing it. Apparently she hates dresses," Arthur said with a grin.

"One day this will all come out," Morgana warned him.

"Yes it will," Arthur said. "But for now I can protect her from that life."

Morgana stared at Arthur for a second. "Why do you care?"

"She saved my life, twice really. She warned me of Valiant so I was on guard in the fight."

"She would not think it a reward nor a privilege to bear your bastards," Morgana said plainly watching Arthur wince.

"No, and she would complain loudly." Arthur agreed. "She is such a useless servant."

"Gwen said she would help her to learn her duties," Morgana said standing. "I'm leaving, we haven't had one argument today and I think it best to leave before that changes."

Arthur's laughter chased her out of the room and Morgana decided she didn't need to worry about Arthur taking advantage of Merlin but she was going to watch this all unfold very carefully. Arthur was going to need help to make sure that Merlin's secret wasn't revealed. More than that, Morgana was going to make sure that Arthur protected Merlin when this all came out as Uther would be furious.

Morgana made it all the way down to the kitchen so she could talk to the cook when she remembered the look on Arthur's face before she had revealed what she knew; he looked relieved when Morgana said Merlin was a girl. Merlin had another secret and Arthur knew what is was, more than that he was worried about that secret being uncovered even by Morgana; Merlin was definitely one to watch.

**/ / / **


End file.
