Mortal Instruments 1. The Call

**Hey so this is the first fanfic that I've ever posted on this site. This takes place around the same time as the first chapter of CoHF. I read the excerpt and I just had to write about it.**

Alec had had a tough time sleeping ever since...the event. Every time that he laid his head down he tossed and turned for hours until he finally woke up, panting, tears streaming down his face and his mind haunted by bright golden-green cat eyes.

It had been a while since...the event and it still felt like his heart was being slowly ripped out of his chest cavity.

For the first week, he barely even knew where he was. It just felt like he was wandering around walking through fog, ears stuffed with cotton. He couldn't focus, he couldn't speak, everything was nothingness. Alec had never felt so empty in his life as he did then.

After the initial nothingness, the pain rushed in. There were days that he couldn't even get out of bed. All he could do was lie there and cry. His siblings had come in, trying to make him feel better and he hated looking weak in front of them. He was supposed to be the eldest. He was supposed to be protecting them not the other way around.

Everyone already thought that Alec wasn't as good as Jace, or even Izzy, at anything. Every moment that he spent lying in that bed just further proved how right they were.

He had never hated himself more than he did in those moments. He hated that someone that he loved so much had done this to him. And he hated that he couldn't, for the life of him, let go.

Especially today.

Today was Magnus' birthday.

Alec had tried to ignore it. Tried to act like he was moving on, getting over it.

But it was Magnus' birthday.

Every second that passed made him feel guiltier. He couldn't help the fact that he did, in fact still care. When he had learned the date he had instantly committed it to his memory. He didn't want to ever forget it. He had wanted to be there for that day this year, and every year after until the end of his little forever.

But it had not worked out that way.

Even though they weren't together anymore he could still wish Magnus a happy birthday, right?

People who used to be together but no longer were- his next breath came out a bit harder than usual as he acknowledged the event in his mind- could still be friends, right?

But you had to talk to the other person in order to be considered friends. That thought brought on a whole new round of depression.

Alec ended up arguing with himself for a whole hour.

Magnus had remembered his birthday. It might have been one of Alec's best, having a chance to be with someone who cared about him deeply on the day that he legally became an adult in the eyes of the Clave.

But if the warlock picked up, what would he say?

Magnus had always been there for him. Listening to Alec talk for long periods on end and actually listening to it all when other people would have just grown annoyed.

But would Magnus even want to talk to him now?

Magnus- Alec really just wanted to hear the sound of his voice. Even if it was a rejection, at least he would be able to hear the sweet, slightly accented voice that he missed so much.

Finally, with his heart pounding so hard that he could feel it in every inch of his body he went to his contacts and pressed 'call' before he could talk himself out of it.

His heart was so loud in his ears, he could barely hear the dial tone.

It rang and rang. The boy didn't realize just how hard he was concentrating, his whole being consumed by the drumbeat of his heart and the shrill ringing in his ear.

He finally snapped out of his trance when it went to voicemail:

You've officially reached the high warlock of Brooklyn. I'm either extremely busy or just ignoring you. So leave a message, or not, and I might try to get back to you.

There is was. The voice he longed so much for and he had no idea what to do.

Alec hung up before he heard the beep.

**SO I know it's really short but if you guys are interested I might be able to continue from Magnus' perspective. **

**Thanks for reading!**


	2. The Calls (and texts)

**Hey guys I did end up doing this from Magnus' perceptive. I hope y'all like it! **

Magnus didn't try to do his hair today. He had just woken up, taken a nice long shower and thrown on the first clothes that his eyes landed on: a simple shirt and tweed pants.

No make up, no glitter, nothing especially fabulous at all.

Some of his birthdays in the past had been celebrated with lots of fanfare, drinking, sex, partying all night. This was not one of those years.

He didn't see the point if his heart wasn't in it. His heart had been in a completely different place ever since he had broken up with Alec all those weeks ago. His heart was still with that blue eyed shadowhunter no matter how much he tried to lie to himself.

Magnus had been in many relationships. Honestly, way more than he could count, or even remember really, so he knew what this was like. He knew love, he knew love loss and was completely familiar with both of them.

This break up had been one of the harder ones. Knowing they hadn't had been together for all that long, didn't decrease the pain at all. If anything, it made it worse. All the things that could have been and could have happened piling up until he couldn't think of anything else.

It hurt being away from his-he had to stop and remind himself that Alexander wasn't his anything anymore- sweet, caring, purehearted, blue eyed shadowhunter so much. But there wasn't anything that he could do about it.

He didn't have anything to do since he absolutely refused to schedule clients on this day. Not that he had had many since the day of the event. Usually Magnus overworked himself to distract himself from his pain, even though he knew that you couldn't hold off pain forever. It always managed to haunt him when he was too weak to continue or it snuck up on him when he was trying to sleep.

With this pain though, it refused to go away. It didn't matter if he was awake or asleep it was constantly there, smarting like a knife wound.

Magnus made his way to his living room. Take out containers were strewn around the floor haphazardly and he kicked them out of his way, clearing a path to the couch. It was looking like he wasn't just going to spend his birthday alone, he was going to spend it watching reruns of project runway.

The Chairman appeared from whatever hiding space he had previously been occupying and walked over to the door, settling down in front of it. He was still waiting for Alec. The cat just couldn't seem to get it through his head that the younger boy wasn't coming back. He had loved Alec and just like his owner, he still did.

With a huff, Magnus snapped his fingers, magicking the television on. He was half way through one episode when his phone started to ring.

At first, he considered not checking it and just letting it go to voicemail, he wasn't taking clients today anyway but a nagging feeling in the back of his mind made him lean over and look at the device that was resting on the coffee table in front of him.

The caller id was enough to make his heart skip a beat. He still hadn't had gotten to changing the contact name, or just deleting the number but when Sweetcheeks was displayed across the screen he knew it was the last and only person that he had wanted to hear from on this day of all days.

Alec.

He refused to pick it up. He had to stay strong and move on.

Magnus was the one who had broken up with Alec. He wasn't supposed to want his. He shouldn't have been conflicted. He should have been able to just press 'decline'.

He sat there and watched as the phone continued to ring and then eventually grow silent, instead.

He wasn't able to focus on his show anymore. Alec had called him.

Alec had called him.

Even after he had broken his heart and left him in a subway station, Alec had still called him. And on his birthday too.

Had he had wanted to wish Magnus a happy birthday? Had Alec remembered? Did Alec still care about him?

These questions shouldn't had mattered to him. He had to remind himself that he it didn't matter.

He was able to sit through the phone ringing the second and even the third time. He had to bite down on the worry that wanted to grow inside of him. Why would Alec call him so many times if he didn't have a reason?

He wasn't at Alec's beck and call anymore, though. He didn't care if he and his stupid siblings or friends were in trouble. He didn't.

It was when the texts started coming in that he finally lost his cool. He flung his phone across the room so that it hit the door with a loud crack sound. If he hadn't had used a basic protection spell on the device it would be a pile of glass and plastic right now.

He got up from the couch, "I'm going to go lie down Chairman."

And with that he headed back into his bedroom, thinking about anything but blue eyed boys that make it extremely hard to let go.


	3. No More Calls

**A/N: Hey guys. First things first, I'm so sorry it took me so long to post. It just took me a while to get this chapter written. I ended up writing the last two chapters before I wrote this one (go figure) but now here it is! And it's the longest chapter of the so far! Just a quick disclaimer: I'm obviously not CC so I don't own any of these characters (If I did I'd take much better care of Alec) I did end up using some of the dialogue from the first chapter because I want to keep this as close to the plot as possible. I hope you guys enjoy! **

Alec woke up to the sound of someone calling his name. His eyes burned and his phone was stuck to his cheek. His mind was all foggy. He managed to catch fleeting glimpses of green and past memories of happiness before they slipped through his grasp.

Once he managed to work through the haze of sleepiness he finally remembered.

Today was Magnus' birthday, he had called him more times than he cared to admit to and he must have fallen asleep waiting for his ex to call or text him back. Even though, he still didn't know what he would have said if Magnus had actually picked up the phone.

"Alec, will you snap out of it! Can you stop doing that thing where you completely block out the world and listen to me for once!?" The sound of the annoyed voice was enough to bring him back to the present for a little while.

"I'm sorry, Izzy."

"I don't want you to be sorry."

"Then what do you want?"

He felt his bed shift as she climbed into it. She rested her head on his pillow, so close that Alec had no where else to look. Her eyes were so big and brown, filled with sadness and maybe even a little pity.

Pity for him.

"Alec, you know I love you, we all do and it hurts to see you this way."

He didn't know how to reply so he just closed his eyes and buried his nose into the pillow. Sometimes he imagined that if he inhaled long enough, in just the right spot, he could still catch a lingering whiff of Magnus' unique scent.

His sister continued on, "So please, _please, _get out of this damn bed and rejoin the land of the living."

"I-" He didn't know what to say in response.

_I can't live in a world where Magnus and I aren't together? _

How pathetic was that? That was exactly what he _didn't _want to be perceived as but if he was being honest with himself, he knew that he was. He couldn't eat, couldn't sleep, could barely even exist without Magnus.

It didn't really make sense. How had he managed to become so codependent in such a short amount of time? But that was the thing about love, right? It wasn't supposed to make sense.

And it also hurt.

Like hell.

"I-" He wanted to say no but that damn look that she was giving him didn't allow room for rejection.

"Fine." Alec finally agreed.

* * *

Surprisingly, it _wasn't _depressing to be around his siblings and their significant others. He was happy for them. Happy that they knew what love was. Happy that they had managed to find it and keep it even after all the challenges that life threw at them.

Even though he hadn't.

So when Jace and Clary hung back to start making out, he joined his sister and Simon in sarcastically clapping for them. He remembers when he used to hate Clary with every fiber of his body but those days were far behind him now. He even kind of liked her. She was able to bring out a side of Jace that was rarely ever seen and even though it had initially filled him with rage and jealousy, he was now able to respect her for it.

As for Izzy and Simon, he still wasn't sure how he felt about that. He would always be filled with the urge to protect his baby sister though he knew Isabelle was perfectly able of taking care of herself .

But, even though seeing them happy took away some of his unhappiness, it didn't stop his impulsive desire to continue to call and text Magnus until he got some semblance of an answer.

The happy couple broke apart and looked up at them. Simon and Izzy waved causing them to head over.

Alec took the time to continue staring at his phone.

Suddenly, Jace threw himself down toward where Alec's legs rested, causing the ravenette to flinch.

"I've heard that if you stare at those things enough, they'll ring." The golden boy said sarcastically.

Alec fought the urge to blush. He knew he was acting ridiculous but couldn't help it.

"He's been texting Magnus," His annoying sister supplied, glancing over disapprovingly.

"I haven't" Alec said automatically. But he had always been horrible at lying but he tried it anyway.

"Yes you have," Jace said craning to look over Alec's shoulder, "And calling. I can see your outgoing calls.

"It's his birthday." Alec flipped the phone shut, "I didn't want him to think that I didn't—to think that I forgot." He felt the urge to defend himself.

"You're pining," said Jace.

Alec shrugged. "Look who's talking. 'Oh, I love her. Oh, she's my sister. Oh why, why, why—'"

The older boy usually tried to stay quiet but once he got started it all just flowed out of him.

Jace threw a handful of dead leaves at Alec, making him splutter.

Alright, maybe he might have gone too far but Jace had to admit, the whole 'insestual' thing had been weird.

Isabelle was laughing. "You know he's right, Jace." At least Isabelle was on his side.

"Give me your phone," Jace said, but Alec didn't move.

"Come on, Alexander." He internally recoiled from the sound of his full name on his brother's lips.

"It's none of your business," Alec said, holding the phone away. "Just forget about it, okay?"

"You don't eat, you don't sleep, you stare at your phone, and I'm supposed to forget about it?" Jace demanded.

And just like that, the good(ish) mood that he had been building up dissipated as he was once again reminded of how pathetic he was.

While he was distracted, Jace leaned over and grabbed the phone out of his parabatai's hand.

Alec tried to protest and reclaim it but Jace held him off with one hand, expertly scrolling through the messages on the phone with the other.

"Magnus, just call me back. I need to know if you're okay—"The blonde shook his head. "Okay, no. Just no." With one quick move he snapped the phone in half. The screen went blank as Jace dropped the pieces to the ground. "There."

Alec looked down at the shattered pieces in disbelief. The only method that he had to communicate with Magnus, besides going to him in person, had just been destroyed, "You BROKE my PHONE."

Jace shrugged. "Guys don't let other guys keep calling other guys. Okay, that came out wrong. Friends don't let friends keep calling their exes and hanging up. Seriously. You have to stop."

Alec felt furious. Couldn't his family just leave him alone? Just let him deal with this? "So you broke my brand-new phone? Thanks a lot."

Jace smiled serenely and lay back on the rock. "You're welcome." Alec fought the urge to punch him.

* * *

He managed to calm down as their conversation shifted from his relationship issues to what was happening with the their mother, the clave, Sebastian, the dark shadowhunters, and much more until their mother texted Izzy telling them to come back to the institute for yet another meeting.

Jace was in the middle of saying bye to Clary, "See you later. I'm going to head back with Alec and Izzy—"

"No, you're not," Isabelle suddenly said unexpectedly. "You broke Alec's phone. Granted, we've all been wanting to do that for weeks—"

"ISABELLE," Alec interrupted, face filling with heat.

"But the fact is," She continued on as if he hadn't said anything, "You're his parabatai, and you're the only one who hasn't been to see Magnus. Go talk to him."

"And tell him what?" Jace said. "You can't talk people into not breaking up with you…" Alec's chest was suddenly filled with pain. "Or maybe you can," he added hastily, "Who can say? I'll give it a try."

"Thanks." Alec clapped Jace on the shoulder. Who knows maybe he would be able to get through to the warlock. "I've heard you can be charming when you want to be."

"I've heard the same," Jace said, breaking into a backward jog.

Alec sighed and started heading in the opposite direction.

**A/N: And that is it for this chapter! To me it's seems like it ends suddenly but I didn't know how else to end it. See you guys next time. Reviews are welcome! **


	4. Through a Friend

**A/N: Hey guys! Once again the dialogue was written by Cassie Clare, I considered not using this chapter (I think it's my least favorite) but I want to stay as close to the plot as possible so I just had to. I hope you like it and I'll see you at the bottom.**

Magnus was woken up by the annoying sound of his doorbell. At first he tried to ignore it but the person must have then leaned on the blasted thing because a long buzz emanated through his room. He groaned and started to get up from the bed.

Who would dare disturb the high warlock on his day off? He threw on a dressing gown and made his way over to the door. In the case that it was a client, he was trying to think of a spell that would cause them a lot of pain.

Their teeth slowly tearing themselves out of their head maybe?

As the person leaned on the buzzer again and again he was considering just removing their hands for a few weeks.

He finally yanked the door open and was surprised to find the golden boy. Just great, another one of Alec's friends here to talk 'some sense into him'.

"What are you doing here?" Magnus demanded.

"My, my," said Jace. "So unwelcoming."

Magnus rolled his eyes, "That's because you're not welcome."

Jace raised an eyebrow. "I thought we were friends."

"No. You're Alec's friend. Alec was my boyfriend, so I had to put up with you. But now he's not my boyfriend, so I don't have to put up with you." Magnus had to make it sound like he wasn't still affected even though the state of his home showed evidence otherwise. He would never let Alec's friends know that he stilled missed him. Speaking of Alec's friends: "Not that any of you seem to realize it. You must be the—what, fourth?—of you lot to bother me." Magnus counted off on his fingers. "Clary. Isabelle. Simon—"

"Simon came by?" The blonde interrupted him.

"You seem surprised." Margins observed.

"I didn't think he was that invested in your relationship with Alec." Those words made Magnus' heart skip a beat but he made sure to keep his face neutral.

"I don't have a relationship with Alec," Magnus said flatly, trying to remind them both of the fact.

Not that Jace was listening to him because he had shouldered past him and was now standing in the middle of his living room and looking around curiously.

It was too late to clean up everything with magic so he would just have to let the blonde have his kicks.

"It smells like heartbreak in here," Jace remarked.

"That's the Chinese food." Magnus quipped back and threw himself onto the sofa, stretching out his long legs. "Go on, get it over with. Say whatever you came here to say."

"I think you should get back together with Alec."

Magnus rolled his eyes up to the ceiling as if he couldn't even be bothered, "And why is that?"

"Because he's miserable," said Jace. "And he's sorry. He's sorry about what he did. He won't do it again."

"Oh, he won't sneak around behind my back with one of my exes planning to shorten my life again? Very noble of him." There is was. That was his excuse. Why he couldn't get back together with the pale angel. At least that was what he kept saying. Maybe one day he would believe it himself.

"Magnus—"

"Besides," he shrugged nonchalantly, "Camille's dead. He can't do it again."

"You know what I mean," said Jace. "He won't lie to you or mislead you or hide things from you or whatever it is you're actually upset about." He threw himself into a wingback leather chair and raised an eyebrow. "So?"

Magnus rolled onto his side. "What do you care if Alec's miserable?" He asked even though he already knew the answer. Magnus just wanted to get the attention off of himself.

"What do I care?" Jace said, so loudly that Chairman Meow sat bolt upright as if he'd been shocked. "Of course I care about Alec; he's my best friend, my parabatai. And he's unhappy. And so are you, by the look of things. Take-out containers everywhere, you haven't done anything to fix up the place, your cat looks dead—"

"He's not dead." He interrupted before the shadowhunters could go on.

He really should have cleaned up before he answered the door. Now the blondy was here, so close to seeing through his facade.

"I care about Alec," Jace said, fixing Magnus with an unwavering gaze. "I care about him more than I care about myself."

"Don't you ever think," Magnus mused, pulling at a bit of peeling fingernail polish. He had found an opening to change the conversation again and he was going to take it, "that the whole parabatai business is rather cruel? You can choose your parabatai, but then you can never un-choose them. Even if they turn on you. Look at Luke and Valentine. And though your parabatai is the closest person in the world to you in some ways, you can't fall in love with them. And if they die, some part of you dies too."

"How do you know so much about parabatai?"

"I know Shadowhunters," said Magnus, patting the sofa beside him so that the Chairman leaped up onto the cushions and nudged at him with his soft head. He stroked his cats fur while talking, "I have for a long time. You are odd creatures. All fragile nobility and humanity on one side, and all the thoughtless fire of angels on the other." His eyes flicked toward Jace. "You especially, Herondale, for you have the fire of angels in your blood."

"You've been friends with Shadowhunters before?"

"Friends," said Magnus. "What does that mean, really?" Since, being honest, Magnus barely knew.

"You'd know," said Jace, "if you had any. Do you? Do you have friends? I mean, besides the people who come to your parties. Most people are afraid of you, or they seem to owe you something or you slept with them once, but friends—I don't see you having a lot of those."

Why did this boy know so much? And how?

"Well, this is novel," Magnus said, trying to brush it off with sarcasm. "None of the rest of your group has tried insulting me."

"Is it working?"

"If you mean do I suddenly feel compelled to get back together with Alec, no. I have developed an odd craving for pizza, but that might be unrelated."

"Alec said you do that," said Jace. "Deflect questions about yourself with jokes."

Magnus narrowed his eyes at the other boy. Maybe he was so good at reading him because of Alec. The raven haired boy had always been so incredibly amazing at observing people , it didn't surprise Magnus that he had caught on to his little habit of changing the subject before things could get too personal.

"And I'm the only one who does that?" He directed the conversation back to Jace.

"Exactly. Take it from someone who knows. You hate talking about yourself, and you'd rather make people angry than be pitied. How old are you, Magnus? The real answer."

Magnus said nothing.

"What were your parents' names? Your father's name?"

Magnus glared at him for a second before saying, "If I wanted to lie on a couch and complain to someone about my parents, I'd hire a psychiatrist."

"Ah," said Jace. "But my services are free."

"I heard that about you." He quipped back causing the golden boy to grin and slide down in his chair, grabbing a pillow and lying his head on it.

"I don't have anywhere to be. I can sit here all day."

"Great," Magnus replied sarcastically, "I'm going to take a nap." He reached out for a crumpled blanket lying on the floor, just as Jace's phone rang. Magnus watched curiously, arrested mid motion, as Jace dug around in his pocket and flipped the phone open.

He heard the muffled sound of the person on the other end talking.

The boy replied, "Yeah. I'm at Magnus's place. I think I might be making some headway. What's up?" Magnus fought the urge to roll his eyes.

Suddenly Jace sat up straight, the pillow tumbling to the floor, asking, "What is it? What's happened?"

Magnus sat up too, the blanket dropping from his hand. He was filled with worry. What exactly had happened to has jace react this way.

Jace closed his eyes, hung up his phone and was made his way over to the door.

Magnus got up too and asked, "What is it?"

The boy slowly turned.

Magnus knew he had lost his composure and asking the question that he wanted to would betray all the work that he had put into acting like he didn't care. But he just had to ask, "Is it Alec? Is he alright?"

"What do you care?" said Jace calling him out, and Magnus flinched.

It's not like the warlock could just blurt out 'Because I'm still in love with your brother!' He could no longer admit to those lingering feelings. He tried so hard to let go but he just...couldn't. Not yet. Not that he was going to tell Jace any of this.

So he just stayed silent, following the golden boy out of the apartment and down the stairs.

Each step bringing him closer to Alec.

**A/N: SO that is that. The next chapter will be written solely by me and Magnus and Alec will ****_finally_**** get to see each other so that will be fun.**

**Also, I had planned for this story to only have 5 chapters but now I don't know. What do you guys say, do you want more? **

**Reviews are welcome!**


	5. In Person

**A/N: hey guys! Here is your next chapter and I'll see you at the bottom. **

When Alec caught sight of his parabatai through the gate he practically ran to him, "Jace did you hear-" He had started by trying to inform his brother of their mission but stopped short when his gaze landed on the person who was coming up behind the blonde.

He would recognize that golden skin, inky black hair and bright green eyes anywhere.

Magnus.

His breath started to falter, coming out in short pants, his vision blackened around the edges. He had been faced with the problem of 'if Magnus actually picked up the phone what would he say?' all day. Well now here he was, right in front of him and Alec still didn't have his answer. All he could do was stare at the man he still loved.

He was less glittery than usual and his hair was pulled back in what looked like a hasty ponytail. Obviously he was still stunningly gorgeous but could it be possible that Magnus was still affected by the event like he was?

Could it be possible that Magnus still loved him even though he had been ignoring him?

The brilliant cat eyes looking back at him were not revealing anything. He had always been good at hiding his emotions, something Alec always wished he could do.

Suddenly, Jace cleared his throat making Alec jump. He had completely forgotten about everything outside of those pools of golden green. His face filled with heat as he turned back to meet a different pair of golden eyes, these ones filled with concern.

Jace opened his mouth and then closed it before opening it again. He was having difficulty coming up with something to say, "Right- so...I'll leave you two alone." Then he disappeared, quickly and quietly in the way that only Jace could.

Now it was only Alec and Magnus.

He was finally alone with the person he had wanted to be with more than anything after so long and he couldn't move, he couldn't blink, he couldn't even breathe.

Alec didn't know how to feel. Was he supposed to be happy or angry? Was he supposed to run into those caramel arms and beg for forgiveness? Was he supposed to blow up and yell? Be angry at Magnus for stealing his heart, making him believe that he actually loved him and then ripping it out of his body, leaving it lying in a subway tunnel?

His face was filled with so much heat as he just stood there staring at his love until he couldn't even see straight anymore. He felt his eyes fill with tears and he must have looked like he was about to pass out because Magnus rushed up to him, grabbing him around his waist before he could fall.

"Alexander-"

Standing so close to Magnus didn't help the situation at all. Alec bit down on his lip so hard that he drew a small amount of blood but he couldn't keep it closed. Alec was quiet around most people but with Magnus, he never seemed to be able to shut up. He was someone that Alec had felt like he could tell anything to and once he started, he just continued to babble until he ran out of air.

That was what happened now.

"M-Magnus-I'm so sorry. Really, really sorry. I know what it looked like and I know that you said I broke your trust but I miss you. So much. I hate that we aren't together and I hate that you're back to ignoring my phone calls and I hate that this is all my fault." By the time he reached the end of his little speech, his breath was coming out hard and fast as if he had just run a race.

"I have the oddest sense of deja-vu with you, once again talking about how I've failed to return your phone calls." He wouldn't exactly look Alec in the eye, instead his gaze settled slightly to the left of the shadowhunter's cheek.

Alec was used to Magnus deflecting things with humour but in this moment, while overwhelmed with emotion, he just couldn't handle it. The younger man's chest was heaving but he didn't seem to be taking in any oxygen, his heart was beating so fast and so hard it was painful and Magnus' hands were burning holes into his sides.

Magnus, finally meeting his eyes again, looked panicked. He raised his hand to Alec's bottom lip and wiped away the small pool of blood that had formed there, "Alexander-"

Alec shivered and closed his eyes, even though he was far from cold, when Magnus used his full name for the second time today. He had always disliked his real name, preferring to be called by his much shorter and simpler nickname but there was something about that way that it rolled off Magnus' tongue.

"I wish we could be honest with each other. I wish that things had turned out differently between us but-" The older man's voice trailed off. Since his thumb was still pressed against Alec's lip, he moved his hand so that he could softly caress the shadowhunter's rosy cheek.

"But-" Magnus tried again and when he did Alec felt his breath against his face.

When did Magnus get so close so that their faces were mere inches apart? Alec didn't dare open his eyes for fear of what he might see if he did. Magnus had just said that he _wished _things could have turned out differently, not that there was still a chance that that could actually happen. The 'but' that he kept faltering on was Magnus trying to figure out how to tell Alec to leave him alone and stop annoying him because they didn't have a chance anymore.

Alec couldn't help the tears that burned his eyelids and streamed down his face onto his gear. He just had to accept that-

Magnus' lips suddenly descended down on his, capturing them in a passionate kiss.

Alec only hesitated for a second, letting out a surprised sound, before he started kissing back. With the last few inches closed between them, one of Magnus' arms holding him firmly around his waist and the other twining into his hair, all the thoughts fogging up his brain dissipated.

All he could focus on was the fire that Magnus ignited inside of him. The all too familiar lips that he had missed so badly were finally pressed against his own again. In their absence, he had forgotten just how amazing Magnus was at this. How he made Alec feel like they were the only two people in the world and nothing else mattered but this moment.

Nothing else mattered but the fact that they were finally so close that he couldn't tell the difference between where his body ended and Magnus' started and he didn't care. He just wanted this moment to last forever.

Alec's hand reached up and settled on the crook of Magnus' elbow and his other was just about to settle on his love's shoulder when the voice of his little sister broke him out of his bliss and brought him back to the cold reality that is life.

"Alec, we have to go-oh." Her voice broke off when she saw what she was interrupting.

The two men broke apart, both breathing hard. Magnus rested his forehead on Alec's, golden green eyes locking with deep blue. Alec didn't know what to make of the look. He was so confused and turned around and had no idea where this left them. His heart hurt at the thought of being away from Magnus again but he didn't really have a choice in the matter as he had a job to do. He was being torn in half, his heart wanting to be nowhere but right here with this man who had broken him and his brain who was rational and knew that he had shadowhunter duties to attend to.

It was ultimately Magnus who made the decision for him, he gently pushed Alec away saying, "Go."

Alec took a shaky step backward, still not breaking eye contact.

Magnus smiled softly, maybe even affectionately? and gestured him forward, "Go, Alexander."

Alec turned around, because that was the only way that he would be able to leave. He fiddled with the weapons attached to his belt in an attempt to distract himself long enough to get away.

He walked through the gate and was met by his siblings. Alec did his best to ignore the looks that they shot in his direction, "Come on." He said while continuing to walk.

He tried to keep his mind clear of everything that wasn't his mission but that didn't stop him from looking back to see whether or not Magnus was still there.

Once.

Maybe twice.

**A/N: Yay another chapter finished! What did you think of their meeting for the first time since _the event?_ Did I do it justice?**

** I was so happy to hear from you guys on my last chapter. Knowing that there are people out there who like reading this story as much as I like writing it is truly amazing so thank you. **

**I had an idea and I want you guys' opinion on it: How would you feel if there was a lemon in one of the future chapters? I haven't written it yet so if you don't want one, no worries but just throwing it out there. **

**See you next time! **


	6. The Original Purpose

Magnus stared at the retreating form of his shadowhunter until the younger boy finally disappeared.

He blinked and shook his head trying to clear it.

Dammit. How many times did he have to remind himself that Alec wasn't his anything anymore?

He knew that he shouldn't have kissed the younger boy again. He knew that it would make it even harder to let go but when Alec had gotten self conscious, started babbling, and looked like he was about to pass out on him Magnus panicked and felt like there was nothing else that he could do in that situation.

Alec had been so close to him. Close enough that he could smell the the scent of the boys skin, count every individual dark eyelash, watch as the brilliant blue eyes turned a murky, cloudy gray and see exactly where his blush started and ended. Magnus had wanted the boy so badly for so long, even though he was the one to break things off, and he just couldn't help himself. He had leaned down and pressed his lips to the perfectly pink ones before him, finally feeling whole.

Magnus couldn't find it in himself to regret it, he couldn't regret anything pertaining to Alec, but he was extremely confused.

What was their next step? Where did they go from here?

He started heading home having no idea how to get himself out of the hole he had just dug for himself.

* * *

When he snapped his fingers, magicking his door open he still didn't know what he was going to do.

The Chairman came, wound himself around Magnus' legs and then continued to stand in the doorway as if he was waiting for someone to arrive shortly after.

Magnus sighed and bent down, scooping up the cat in one hand and closing the door with the other.

"How many times do I have to tell you, darling? Stop waiting for him because he's not coming back anytime soon."

The cat let out a loud meow in reply, refusing to accept the words that Magnus had just uttered.

He started stroking the cats smooth fur in an attempt to comfort it, "I know, I feel the same way."

So, in order to distract himself from the unwanted lingering feelings that he still had for Alec, Magnus threw himself into tedious house work:

Feeding the Chairman, who had gotten a bit skinnier since the event.

Even though it was shudder worthy, he cleaned. Everything that he could get his hands on, he cleaned. The kitchen, bathroom, living room, so on and so forth.

After everything was clean he used his magic to redecorate. Snapping his fingers, Magnus changed all the paint on the walls to brighter, more vibrant colors and replaced every piece of drab, dark furniture to more exciting ones with prints on them.

There, now his home no longer looked or smelled like it belonged to a heartbroken person.

And if he could do that with his house then why not his body?

He went to his closet and picked out his favorite pair of leather pants and a glittery tank top, both super tight and super colorful. Moving over to the vanity, he didn't hold back. He pretty much painted himself a new face: foundation, lipstick, blush, eyeliner, eye shadow, mascara, gel for his hair and of course lots and lots of glitter.

When he finished, Magnus looked like a completely different person. One that could go out and get anyone that he wanted.

Too bad he had no desire to.

There was only one person that he wanted right now and it was his fault that they were no longer together.

All dressed up with no where to go, he went and settled on his couch feeling a bit dejected.

He snapped his fingers conjuring up a random book.

If someone had told Magnus Bane that this would be how he was spending his birthday, moping over a teenage boy, a teenage shadowhunter to be more precise, a year ago, he would have laughed in their face. Now, he was having a hard time finding anything even slightly humorous about this.

* * *

There was a buzzing sound. It wasn't the sound of his doorbell, which would have went off if someone was standing outside his door, but instead the sound of someone outside wanting to be let into the building.

He sighed and made his way over to the wall, leaning his head on it while he pressed the speaker button, "Who is it now?" He sounded rather put out to his ears. Why couldn't he just be left alone today?

"Umm...it's me, Magnus."

Magnus' eyes flew open. It seemed impossible. It should have been impossible but it wasn't.

He opened the outside door and his own with a snap of his fingers then leaned on the frame, waiting.

His heart beat in time with every footstep that he heard.

Finally, the person appeared in front of him.

Alec.

There was a long jagged cut that trailed down the Nephilim's face, starting at his temple and ending right before it reached his neck. Magnus' heart skipped a beat when he saw that it was still bleeding but besides from that the younger boy looked fine. A bit nervous, eyes bright, rips in his gear and his hair a wild mess as usual but fine.

"Alexander-Alec," He had been warring with himself all day as to what to call him. The boy hated his full name but there had always been a certain intimacy about the fact that no one else called him by it. An intimacy that Magnus should no longer want to keep. Thus the reason why both names had managed to slip out, one out of habit and the other a correction.

"What are you doing here?" Magnus asked.

He had to fight the urge to reach out and heal the boys cut. The shadowhunters had runes for this. He would have a scar on his pale cheek but the younger boy could take care of himself.

Magnus clenched his hands and held them behind his back just in case.

"I-I-Happy Birthday, Magnus." The boy managed to stammer out.

Magnus just stood there looking at him. He was sure his face conveyed his bemusement.

"It's what I've been trying to say to you all day," Alec continued, "All those calls and texts, we even met in person and I still didn't say it to you. While my siblings and I were on our hunt I kept getting distracted because I didn't want you to think that I had forgotten because I didn't."

He wanted nothing more than to envelope the boy with his own body and cover his face with kisses of gratitude. He was legitimately a kind and sweet person, easily the best that Magnus had met in years. But they were no longer a couple. He couldn't perform the action that was playing out in his head.

"Thank you," He replied sincerely. Even if he couldn't exactly show just how thankful he was, he allowed himself to smile down at the boy. "That's really sweet of you, love." The endearment is out of Magnus' mouth before he can stop himself.

Alec looked stricken for a minute, and Magnus can't even begin to guess what is happening inside the boys head.

After a moment of staring at each other Alec recovers and clears his throat awkwardly, "Right-so...I'll leave now. I'm sure I'm the last person you want to be standing here talking to. You obviously have somewhere else to be." He gestures Magnus up and down.

He might have actually let the boy leave if it was anyone but Alec. If he was anyone else, the words would have came out sarcastic and bitter but with the ravenette they were nothing but sincere. He believed that everyone was better than him and that he was always going to be the second choice. He accepted it, didn't ever question it and felt like that was the way things were always going to be.

Whether or not they were together, it still broke Magnus' heart.

He couldn't let the boy leave, thinking that he was right in thinking that he was bothering Magnus by just existing in the same place as him.

Before he could stop himself, his fingers were wrapped around Alec's pale wrist.

"Wait, Alec. First of all, there's no where else that I need to be than right here," The pale angel smiled slightly at him, disrupting the line of blood that was streaming down his face. How had Magnus managed to block out the gigantic cut for so long?

"And second of all," Magnus continued, "please come inside before you bleed out in my doorway." He tightened his grip around the Nephilim's wrist and practically dragged him inside, closing the door behind them with a wave of his free hand.

Still not letting go of the wrist Magnus used his other hand to press against the long cut. Blue sparks appeared as he started to chant under his breath.

"I'm fine. It's just a scratch." Alec tried to protest.

Magnus rolled his eyes and continued his chanting.

Shadowhunters treated injuries very lightly, writing off cuts and sometimes even sprains as 'scratches' or 'nothing an iratze can't fix'.

The skin started to knit itself back together before his eyes and in a few seconds the cut was completely healed.

When Magnus was finished he didn't immediately take his hands off Alec. They continued to stand there, both covered in the Nephilim's blood and neither minding very much. With their eyes locked, it seemed like anything was possible.

"Thanks." Alec finally said. He seemed to be saying thanks for more than just the healing. Perhaps what went unsaid was 'thanks for still caring about me.'

"You're welcome." Magnus replied, a slight smile curving on his lips.

Neither stated what was in both of their hearts but at that moment it didn't matter because at least they were together now.

**A/N: Look! I ended it on a happy(ish) note. I hope you guys liked the chapter and as always, reviews are welcome! **


	7. The Failed Civility

**A/N: Hey guys! Yeah I know I disappeared for a while. I read CoHF and I knew I would have a really hard time trying to get this story to go along with the canon plot line so I changed this story to complete and I decided that I wouldn't continue with it. A few days after, I was working on what I thought would be a oneshot but ended up being what would become chapter 8 of this story. It will no longer follow the exact plot line of CoHF but I hope you guys still like it. **

**I don't exactly know what happened with this chapter. It's been a while and it's also 1:30 in the morning where I am so Alec and Magnus might have came out a little ooc. **

**And with this long author's note, I give you chapter 7:**

* * *

Magnus was the one to break away and Alec beat down the feeling of loss that tried to spread through his chest.

For a second there, it had seemed like Magnus still cared about him. Actually for more than a second. Ever since he had seen Magnus earlier today, there had been gestures, words, and facial expressions that pointed toward him still caring for Alec.

The younger boy didn't want to get his hopes up though. Magnus was- Magnus. He was always unpredictable and extremely good at acting. He could treat someone that he hated as if they were the best of friends or give someone that he was in love with the cold shoulder.

Like he had been doing with Alec until he suddenly showed up at the institute, kissed him and then left again.

Alec had no clue what to make of him. In the past he had been able to more or less know what was going through his head, read his emotions, notice the way his eyebrow quirked up when he felt one way or the way his lips slightly curved downward on the right side when he felt another. But right now...Magnus was still the same, yet completely different.

He was decked out in full makeup, tight clothing and lots of glitter. He looked indifferent and unaffected in every way that Alec himself wasn't.

"Do you want something to drink?" Magnus asked, breaking the silence, not awkwardly because nothing about Magnus was awkward.

Alec, on the other hand was having a hard time keeping himself composed, struggling to beat back a blush and a stutter, all while trying to mimic some of Magnus' effortless conversation skills, "Um-Magnus, it's fine, really, if you have somewhere else to be. I don't want to keep you or anything."

Magnus brushed him off with a wave of his hand and walked toward the kitchen.

"I am quite literally all dressed up with no where to go. I wasn't trying to be charming when I said that I had no where to be but here, I meant it literally." Magnus said it as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. "You can sit if you want, I don't mind."

Alec settled on the edge of a long cheetah print couch. Magnus had given him permission to sit but he had never fully felt comfortable around the high warlock's loft. It wasn't that Magnus ever made him feel unwelcome, Alec just didn't want to come across as being too intrusive or like he was taking advantage.

Magnus returned to the room with two steaming mugs of what smelled like coffee.

He placed one in front of Alec and plopped down on the couch cushion next to where the boy was perched.

Magnus didn't say anything as he raised the cup to his perfect thin lips and drank, his golden green eyes staring at Alec over the rim.

Alec leaned down and picked up his own mug. At first he just held it in his hands, trying to absorb the warmth, but he eventually raised his mug too, bringing it to his own lips.

It was his favorite: black with sugar.

Alec knew it had not had been a long time, even though it felt differently in his heart, since they had last been together as a couple but he still felt a flutter in his chest at the fact that Magnus had remembered the exact way he took his coffee.

Magnus' coffee preference was one of the few things that Alec had gotten out of Magnus himself. The warlock's cup was more cream and sugar with a dash of coffee, rather than the other way around, when he was done making it.

Alec remembered how one time, Magnus had made him try it and how it had overwhelmed his taste buds. He had been so surprised that he practically started choking and Magnus had laughed at him, rubbing his back until he finally managed to control himself.

He smiled suddenly at the memory and tried to hide it in the mug.

Looking back up at Magnus he saw that he wasn't very successful. The warlock was looking at him with a look of slight perplexion but continued to not say anything.

Alec found it extremely unnerving to have Magnus just sitting there staring at him. He didn't know what the older man wanted from him. There was so much that needed to be said that just...wasn't. Alec had poured his heart out time and time again, when they were together and even after the breakup and he still hadn't had gotten anything back from the other man.

In fact, looking back, Alec realized that besides the expressions that had slipped past Magnus' perfectly constructed mask, the warlock had barely said anything today. Alec had let himself get overwhelmed by his emotions, again, and it slipped past him.

It had slipped past him time and time again.

Yes, he knew what he had done with Camille was wrong and that it wasn't the best way to go about things, but at the time it had seemed like the only thing he could do. The fact that he had basically laid his whole self bare at the warlock's feet and had gotten nothing in return surely was disheartening. Even though everyone believed that Alec had went to her over and over again to figure out a way to take away Magnus' immortality, the real reason was that she had given him answers that Magnus was not willing to.

Before, Alec had sat down he had thought that it was Magnus who had changed but maybe it was really himself. Maybe he was finally just starting to realize how _little_ he knew about the man he loved.

He couldn't take the silence anymore, he put his mug on the table and asked, "What are we doing Magnus?"

The man in question also placed his mug on the table. With only a couch cushion between them, and not enough coffee in the world to distract them, they suddenly felt way too close and yet not close enough. There was a level of intimacy and intensity between them that couldn't be helped.

"I don't-exactly know. But what I do know is that even though we aren't together anymore, it doesn't mean we can't act civilly around each other. Right?"

"Civil? Yeah. You'd know all about that wouldn't you?" He snapped sarcastically.

He had tried to keep his composure but he just couldn't. Magnus wanted them to be civil? Alec had tried acting civil. It was Magnus who wouldn't even pick up his phone to send Alec a simple text saying he had received all of the messages.

He knew his voice came out harsher than he intended when he saw Magnus flinch slightly. He knew that his anger had flared up seemingly out of nowhere but once it appeared, it was very hard to get control of it again.

All the feelings that he had suppressed, all the frustration that he had hidden and covered with guilt and self hate because it was _his fault_, came rushing in and built up until he felt like he was going to explode.

"Alexander-" Magnus started but Alec was quick to cut him off.

"Don't. Don't '_Alexander_' me. Don't try to act as if I haven't been trying to reach out to you and be civil. I know that I messed up, I know that I should have went about things differently but _goddammit,_ stop trying to act as if I am the only one at fault here." His eyes burned with unshed angry tears.

He hated this. He hated that he was here yelling at the man that he loved. He hated that Magnus would barely tell him anything about himself. He hated the fact that they were no longer together. He was angry and hurt and sad and confused and he had no idea what to do with himself.

Magnus got up from his spot on the couch and moved so that he was hovering over Alec. He leaned in so that there was only a few inches between their faces and placed one of his hands on Alec's cheeks. The boy had no where to look but into the too bright cat eyes.

"You think that I don't know I'm also at fault here?" Magnus started, "That I don't know I practically drove you Camille? Alec, I do. I don't think you understand how much I do. I've been ignoring you because I just can't do this anymore. We can't do this anymore. It wasn't working and it never can. I'll always be immortal and I don't know of a way to make you the same so in order to save ourselves some pain-"

"Stop. Please stop." Alec turned his face away, closing his eyes. "You've already broken up with me once. I don't think you need to do it again."

Alec felt Magnus' forehead against his temple and long fingered hands on both of his sides. For once he didn't want the older man's touch.

Alec didn't know what was better: staying at home sulking, his only happiness being his unrealistic daydreams or actually being in Magnus' presence and having to deal with being broken up with for a second time.

He shouldn't have come.

"Alec-" Magnus breathes against his skin.

"Please-" Alec's voice comes out even smaller than Magnus'.

"You got your chance to speak, now let me. I was warring with myself over whether or not I should do this, but after today I...I want to."

Alec wanted to question him but held his tongue.

There was the sound of Magnus snapping his fingers and then Magnus was taking his hand and placing something in it. When Alec closed his fist around it, it felt like paper.

"I need you to do something for me. Firstly, I need you to go home and read that. Secondly, I need to know your reaction. Text it to me, call me, come back if you have to but I need to know."

"Why?" Alec asked, gripping the paper even tighter in his fist.

"You'll understand once you read it." Magnus replied before breaking all skin contact with the younger boy.

Alec turned his head back to look at the high warlock. His eyes were shining with another emotion that Alec couldn't read.

"You should go." Magnus instructed before he could say anything.

The boy got up from the couch and walked to the door, Magnus trailing behind him. With one last look, he was out of the loft and heading down the staircase.

When he was downstairs, instead of going through the door and taking the trek back to Manhattan, he decided to sit on the bottom step. After awkwardly stretching out his long legs in front of him, Alec finally looked down at the item that was currently clenched in his fist. He relaxed his slightly shaking hand to reveal some sheets of folded notebook paper (that might or might not have become crumpled because of him).

He glanced down at them in perplexity. What could possibly be so important about them?

He unfolded the packet and was greeted with the familiar, thin, and loopy handwriting that belonged to Magnus. Now Alec was really confused.

He read the first line and stopped dead in his tracks. It read:

_Dear Alec,_

* * *

**A/N: So how was it? **

**When I originally planned this chapter it was just supposed to be awkward but it turned into...this. If there are any mistakes blame it on my crappy editing skills after the clock strikes 12. **

**As always reviews are welcome! **


	8. The Letter

**A/N: Hey guys! So I was trying to get this chapter done so that I could post it in the early hours of the morning again but that clearly ended up not working. I'm a bit conflicted about this chapter, there are definitely some parts that I like more than others but what can you do? There are some parts in here that I took from CoHF so just know that I am definitely not Cassie Clare and I don't own the Mortal Instruments. **

**This chapter is also told from Alec's pov because that was the only way I could get this to work. **

* * *

_Dear Alec, _

_It's been a while since the last time I've seen you. I thought that I would be able to move on by now but the truth is, it actually hurts more. I miss you so much. I miss your beautiful blue eyes and raven black hair, I miss the feel of your skin, I miss the sound of your voice. I grow more miserable with everyday that passes me by but I'm not strong enough to admit to you just how much I want you, how much I need you. At least not in person. _

_You call and text me everyday and I never respond, not because I'm still angry but because I am afraid. Afraid that if I do pick up that phone, there will be nothing to stop me from telling you the real reason behind why I broke up with you. Yes, I was upset by you going to Camille but I got over it fairly quickly. The real reason why I broke up with you is because I love you. I love you with every fiber of my body, with every beat of my heart, in both the light and dark recesses of my soul, I love you. And it was this love that made it impossible to bear even the thought of you being torn away from me. _

_You are a Shadowhunter and it is no secret that most of you die young, brutally cut down before your prime. You could be taken away from me at any moment. And even if the blood of the Nephilim didn't run through your veins and you were just an ordinary human, our time would still be limited. I would still have to deal with you growing old and dying while I remained untouched by time and broken without my other half. I have a warlock friend who was married to a mortal man. The way that they were together- he looked at her as if she had strung the stars up in the sky one by one. It took just one glance in their direction to know that they were in love. But of course like all mortals, he died. They had been married for decades, they had kids and even grand kids but he still died just the same. I saw how it broke her. She came to me, asking how I did it, how I managed to not feel the pain but the hard truth is that immortality doesn't make you indifferent to death. Each one hurts just as much as the last but since we are immortal we are forced to look the unbearable in the face and bear it. But, for some reason, I couldn't bear this. I told you one day how I had thought about the idea of losing you and how I would never be okay with it and that still proves to be true. _

_As we grow older warlocks start to calcify. We stop being able to feel even the most basic emotions that make living worthwhile. I had thought that would never happen to me. That I would always fall in love, be surprised, be open to hurt as much as I was open to being happy. But it's been creeping up on me for the last twenty years or so and I didn't even realize until you came along. Before you, there has been no one that I loved for a very long time. Until the day you walked into my party, I had begun to think that I would never be able to feel the way you make me feel everyday. That no one would ever be able to surprise me or take my breath away. You showed me the path that I would end up on if I continued the way that I was and you showed me that I don't want that. You showed me that even if this does end badly there is no one that I would rather have my heart broken by than you. Which is why I am doing this right now. Why I am doing something that I have never done before in all the years I have been alive: I am telling you the story of my life. _

_You were right when you said our pasts are what make us who we are now. If you never tell anyone the truth about yourself, eventually you start to forget. The love, the heartbreak, the joy, the despair, the things I did that were good and the things I did that were shameful-if I kept all of them inside, my memories of them would start to disappear. And then I would disappear. _

_This isn't everything yet but it is some of the incidents that have shaped me into the person I am today. Consider this the first installment of everything I want to tell you. I had hoped while writing them down that you would take them as evidence that I want to share my life with you. That means today, the future, and all of my past, if you want it. _

_If you want me. _

By the time Alec reached the end of the letter he could barely see beyond the blurriness of his unshed tears. Magnus wanted him? Magnus needed him? Magnus still wanted to be together? He had finally worked past his fears and was going to tell Alec about his past?

Mere minutes ago it had looked like Magnus was preparing to break Alec's heart again but now he was fulfilling the young Shadowhunter's every daydream and every wish.

He folded the papers back up, placed them into his pocket and stood up. He looked up at the staircase. Magnus was somewhere up there, waiting for his reaction. And with that thought he started up the stairs, ready to tell the warlock exactly what was in his mind.

* * *

When the door swung open, Magnus looked surprised at seeing him again so soon.

"Alec-" He started but let trail off, not knowing what to say.

Alec suddenly didn't feel so confident anymore-if you could say he was confident in the first place. He didn't know what to do. Didn't know what to say. With Magnus standing in front of him, very much real, the words that were buzzing around in his head left him. He was left speechless. It had been so easy for the words to spill out of him before Magnus had bared his soul but now...he had nothing.

Instead of his previous happiness and feelings of relief it almost felt like he were perched on the edge of a cliff and what happened next would determine whether they would stand or fall together. Alec was now terrified. Standing in front of him was everything that he wanted but it almost felt too good to be true. Here was Magnus, looking more open and vulnerable than Alec had ever seen him before, professing his love for him and promising to finally tell him about his past. But a little voice in the back of his head wouldn't let him forget that there was a part of Magnus that was capable of ripping out his heart and breaking it into a million pieces without even looking back.

He could walk away from this, meet someone else, live a safe and predictable life, everyday planned out with no variation for however many years he had left. Or he could go down this wild and crazy path where everyday was a different adventure and there were no real guarantees...it was hardly a choice at all.

He took the plunge, moving forward until he was toe to toe and chest to chest and nose to nose with Magnus. Their lips touched and he suddenly felt whole again. All the little pieces that were broken and swept away with the wind after the event coming back together and turning his world right side up again.

"All right." Alec said when they finally broke away.

Magnus caught his chin with a long fingered hand and looked into Alec's eyes, barely guarded hope shining in his own golden-green ones.

"Really?"

There was no turning back now and Alec was completely fine with that. He nodded his head and said, "Really."

Magnus leaned forward again, smashing their lips together in a passionate kiss that Alec never wanted to end. After being away from this man for so long, he wanted to spend his whole life making up for lost time. They kissed again and again and again until it felt like he was going to collapse into a puddle at the warlock's feet.

They were gasping and panting and so close yet not close enough and before he even knew what was happening, he was being pinned against canary yellow sheets and neither of them were wearing a shirt and he couldn't think about anything but Magnus. Everything was Magnus.

"Alexander-" Magnus breathed out, his breath hot against the skin of the boys neck, "Tell me if you want me to stop."

Alec wrapped his arms tighter around the warlock's back, bringing him even closer, "I never want you to stop."

* * *

A few hours later, they were lying under the covers, skin completely bare, and wrapped up in each others embrace. Alec couldn't tell where he ended from where Magnus began and he didn't mind. Nothing could bother him as he lay there with Magnus' head in the crook of his neck, his thumb rubbing soothing circles into his skin and lulling him to sleep.

The thing that startled him out of his stupor was the sound of a cat meowing. He looked down over the side of the bed and found the Chairman looking up at him, almost expectantly.

Alec reached down and picked up the small cat, bringing him up into the bed with them. The small creature immediately started to purr and curled up onto the boys' chest. Alec couldn't help but think about how different this cat was from Church, who liked to claw and hiss more than snuggle.

"The Chairman missed you." Magnus informed him, murmuring against his skin.

"I missed him too." He smiled down fondly at the cat before turning his gaze back to Magnus, "I missed both of you."

Magnus smiled sleepily, white teeth gleaming in the dark room, before leaning over and pressing his lips to Alec's.

* * *

**A/N: Awww Malec is canon again. This was originally supposed to be a lemon but I figured it would ruin the moment so it got brushed over. And I realized that I completely forgot about the Chairman in the last chapter so I **snuck him in at the end. ****

****I hope you guys liked this and as always feel free to follow, favorite and review! ;)****


	9. The Fire Messages

**A/N: Hey guys! So it's been a rough few days. As some of you might have seen, I tried to start a new songfic but fanfiction sent me a message bitching about how songfics aren't allowed on the site and how I should remove all the lyrics from my chapter before I get reported for abuse/ copyright infringement so I took it down. I'm obviously sad because I had really big plans for ****A Little Death**** but I decided that I will just continue to write it on Tumblr under the url of Alexandermylovewritesfanfic so I hope that any of you that are interested continue to read it! **

**Anyways...I took out my frustrations by writing and ended up with this chapter. It's ****_a lot _****fluffier than you guys are used to but I figured, who doesn't like Malec fluff? I think this is my favorite chapter so far and I hope y'all love it as much as I do. **

* * *

Magnus hadn't been able to sleep all night. But could you really blame him for not wanting to close his eyes and miss even a second of gazing at the beautiful angel that was currently sharing his bed? He didn't know what had come over him before. What had made something in him snap and just let go, finally allowing himself to reveal the truth to his love. But he was glad that he did if this was the outcome.

Every second that he got to spend with this absolutely gorgeous Shadowhunter felt precious and like it needed to be cherished. Lying here, with his skin pressed against Alec's, he felt better than he had in weeks. He wasn't exactly sure what he had assumed Alec's reaction to his letter would have been. Anger maybe, because of all those wasted weeks when they were both miserable. Hesitation, because Magnus had hurt him badly. Rejection, because he just didn't want to put up with Magnus anymore.

But instead, he had come back almost as quickly as he had left and returned all of the passion and fire and love that had been building up in Magnus ever since _the event_. He was afraid to fall asleep in the fear that all of this was a dream and when he woke up, tears would be streaming down his face due to the fact that he and Alec still existing on opposite ends of New York. Or worse, he was already asleep and his subconscious was just waiting for the right moment to shatter his world into a thousand pieces.

The black haired teenager tried to shift in his sleep, stirring the Chairman who had settled himself on that flawless, pale stomach. The cat meowed very loudly before standing up and jumping onto the floor, going about his own business. Well, that was very short lived. Magnus observed, amused while looking after his retreating cat that had acted as if his world couldn't continue without this particular Shadowhunter in it.

Alec shifted again, this time with a small sleepy moan, so that he was pressed up even closer against Magnus, his head resting in the crook of the warlock's neck. Magnus smiled brightly at the boy's display. He had noticed the dark circles under the magnificent blue eyes and was glad the boy was getting some rest. He had also noticed that Alec had lost some weight but that was nothing that some takeout or a couple of dinners at Taki's couldn't help. Wait- he was seriously getting carried away here. He was already planning their future dates when he wasn't even sure if they were back together. Sure, they had made love, and Alec seemed appeased by what was written in his letter but all of that had happened after the extremely emotional day they had both experienced.

Magnus had been through so much in the centuries that he had walked the earth but he had never felt anything as strongly as he did when he was with this boy that was currently in his arms. No matter how much confidence he possessed or how many walls he put up, Alexander effortlessly broke everything down. No matter how much Magnus wanted to hide, it only took one look into those beautiful blue pools and he suddenly felt as if he was fully exposed and the younger man could see every aspect of his soul. And he wanted it. Sure, it was scary as hell but as long as he was able to hear those two words that held so much weight, 'all right', or the three words that seemed to roll off of his tongue so naturally, so fearlessly, almost carelessly as if it was no big deal, 'I love you', it felt like everything would be okay. And yes, it would always be an uphill battle-nothing involving Shadowhunters was ever 'easy'- but there was no one else that he would rather spend an eternity with.

He went to brush the midnight locks away from Alec's forehead but his fingers somehow managed to snag on one of the tangles and Magnus ended up jerking the poor boy's head to the side.

"Oww-" Alec moaned into his neck, instantly waking up.

"Oh, crap! I'm so sorry, darling, it was an accident." Magnus felt his ears fill with heat, this was definitely not how he had imagined his first morning with Alexander after they had been apart for so long. In his fantasies there had been a lot more kissing and a lot less pain.

He was worried about how the boy would react until he realized that Alec was actually laughing against his skin. Between breaths the younger man let out a "It's fine."

He let on a relieved breath and, much more hesitantly this time, tried to stroke the boys hair away from his face again. He succeeded for a second before it just fell back into place.

"You really need to cut your hair." Magnus remarked.

Alec straightened up, causing his raven locks to fall into his eyes, "I like my hair." He didn't sound offended, just stating facts.

Magnus smiled at him, "As do I, love, but it wouldn't kill you if it was a bit shorter." He slid his hand beneath the boy's bangs and lifted his black hair away from his forehead. He looked even more beautiful when he wasn't trying to hide. "We might even be able to see those beautiful blue eyes of yours, hmm?'

Alec's cheeks turned a light shade of pink and he turned his head away so that his hair fell back into his face, "I'll think about it." He murmured.

Magnus gave him another smile before he moved so that the boy was in his arms once again. He wasn't really ready to let go yet.

They were able to lie there for a moment but someone had to voice what they were both thinking so he figured, even though he didn't really want to, it would be him, "So how do we move forward with us?"

Alec moved so that he could look Magnus in the eye without breaking the contact of their skin.

The Shadowhunter just looked at him for a while, seeming to really be thinking about his answer before speaking, "I don't really know. I don't know how we can when the world is literally falling apart all around us. The only thing I do know is that I just want to forget about all of that for a while and just lay here with you. Is that completely irresponsible and selfish?"

Magnus could not stop the small smile that graced his lips as he leaned forward to kiss the boy on the forehead.

Yes, he hadn't gotten a real answer but the fact that Alec, always responsible, always listening to his brain before his heart, wanted to stay with him a bit longer instead of running off to check on his siblings (even though they were probably still safe in their beds) meant a lot.

"Even if it is, it's alright to take into account what you feel first before you worry about everyone else. And you are only eighteen, you're allowed to make mistakes." He said the last part to remind both of them. Alexander was so wise and mature for his age that sometimes Magnus forgot that he was still so young and inexperienced compared to himself.

"_Only eighteen?_" The Shadowhunter sounded almost incredulous. "I'm an adult in the eyes of the clave."

"And a child in the eyes of mundanes so just relax for once and you can go back to being the big, strong, and protective Shadowhunter that you usually are a little later."

Alec seemed to want to argue but thought better of it halfway through.

"Fine." The boy relented before falling back against the pillows.

* * *

About an hour later, they were in the kitchen and Magnus was watching the way the muscles in Alec's shoulders and arms moved as he poured their cups of coffee. No matter how long he knew the Shadowhunter, he would never get over how absolutely perfect Alexander looked.

When Alec turned around and found Magnus' eyes trained on his bare skin, he ducked his head, hiding behind his hair again.

"Why are you staring at me?" Alec asked while sliding into the seat across from him.

Magnus shrugged and snapped his fingers, magicking up some milk and sugar for his coffee. He didn't even look up from the cup as he replied, "Because you're beautiful."

When he was satisfied that his coffee no longer tasted like coffee he looked up to find Alec blushing into his cup. He reached across the table to stroke one of the pink cheeks and slipped his thumb under the boy's chin, bringing it up to see his blue eyes.

"It's true." Magnus assured him with a smile.

Alec turned an even darker shade of pink and shook his head, "I will never get used to you saying that."

"Then I am prepared to say it everyday, for the rest of an eternity if I have to."

The Shadowhunter looked vaguely pleased under the puce color of his skin.

Before either of them were able to say anything there was a crackling sound. Lightning fast, before Magnus could even register his movements, Alec had reached out and snatched the fire message out of the air before it even stopped burning.

His dark brows furrowed in confusion before he read the message out loud: _"'Alec, where are you?'"_

He looked up at Magnus and asked, "Do you have some paper?"

He felt his own eyebrows furrow in confusion but he wordlessly snapped his fingers anyway, summoning a stack of paper and a pen.

Alec scribbled down a quick reply and handed the paper to him. "Can you send this to Jace for me?"

He took the paper between his fingers, quickly read the correspondence, '_Magnus' loft. Why? Do you need something?' _and sent it off with a simple fire spell.

In the time that they sat there waiting for Jace to respond, Magnus took the opportunity to voice his confusion. "Why didn't he just call you?"

Alec looked equal parts amused and irritated. "He broke it."

Both of them rolled their eyes at the antics of the Alec's parabatai.

There was the sound of crackling flames again and Alec once again grabbed it out of the air and read it out loud: _"'We need both of you to come to the Institute. Now.'"_

* * *

**A/N: Yay the next chapter is going to be when they have to go to Idris. It will go down a bit differently than in the books but it's still the same at heart. **

**One last note before you guys wonder about me disappearing: I got a chance to fly down to Indiana for the next two weeks and study film making. Good news for me but not so good news for my fanfic. I will try to post while there but I make no guarantees. So I'll see you guys when I see you I guess. **

**As always follows, favorites, and reviews are welcome! :* **


	10. The Notebook

**A/N: Hey guys! Yes I know, I know, it's been three weeks! In my defense I did tell y'all that I would be at a summer program for two weeks and it would be hard to post (it was) on top of that this chapter was just a bitch to write. I think some of the characters might have turned out a bit ooc (like Maryse) and I don't like this chapter all that much but I didn't want to leave you guys hanging any longer.**

* * *

Alec enjoyed the feeling of Magnus' hand intertwined in his as they sat in the back of the cab. He knew that they were not yet completely fixed. He knew that there was still a lot that was in the rough and some sensitive subjects that couldn't be brought up just yet. He knew better than anyone that love wasn't enough to solve all of their problems but he felt that if they were both willing to work at it they could do it. He wanted it more than pretty much anything- other than a world that didn't have a raging half demon, half shadowhunter, lunatic running around.

He was able to use the warlock's hand as a way of grounding him and reminding him that this was actually real. He had Magnus back and things were going to get better-at least he hoped so. If they could get through the whole raging lunatic thing.

Almost as if Magnus was able to read his mind, Alec felt his hand being tugged at to get his attention. He looked up into the golden green cat eyes of the man he loved. He watched as Magnus slowly brought his hand up to those perfect pink lips and kissed his pale skin. He couldn't help but smile as the warlock winked at him and waggled his dark eyebrows. He could get through this as long as he had Magnus. As long as he didn't have one more thing-or person- to worry about. The older man snaked a caramel arm around Alec's neck, settling on his shoulders, and reclaimed his hand. They shifted so that Magnus was basically wrapped around Alec and the shadowhunter didn't have any complaints.

They were silent for the rest of the ride. If Alec was being honest he could admit that it wasn't a completely comfortable and content moment. He remembers that after only a few dates they had grown so close, being with Magnus was as easy as breathing, but now they had fallen out of it. They needed to get back on the same page again and that would take time. There were still centuries of space and secrets and pain and sadness and happiness between them but the divide didn't seem nearly as bad now as it had felt last week. They would get through this.

The cabbie stopped about a block away from the Institute and they exited the vehicle with Magnus' arm still settled on Alec's shoulder.

Right before they reached the gate Magnus dragged him aside, pulling him a bit closer so that he could rest his forehead against the younger boy's.

"Whatever happens in there- just know that it won't affect us. I acted like an idiot and made myself believe it didn't matter but now I've realized that I can't do that. I need you for as long as I can have you. And I know that all you have from me right now are pieces of paper with nothing but promises of more but you have to believe me when I say that there is no one else that I want to be with as long as you still want to be with me. "

The shadowhunter looked at him with what must have been a blank stare before a smile escaped his lips and he leaned forward to peck his love on the lips.

When they pulled away he felt as if no words were needed. He had gotten tripped over his words way too often in these last few days so maybe he could go for silence for once. Even if things were not perfect right now, he knew that Magnus would always be the only one that could read in between his words and always know what he meant even if he didn't quite understand himself. He hoped beyond hope that Magnus could see how much he also wanted this to work.

The warlock met Alec's look with one of his own and that was all it took for the boy to know that even after all that time spent separated they were still in sync.

With his hold on Magnus' hand never loosening, he headed towards the Institute with the warlock in tow.

The door had barely closed behind them when his golden parabatai appeared almost out of thin air in true Jace fashion and with a small glance toward their intertwined fingers, immediately started talking.

"There's been another attack, this time in Los Angeles. The clave has decided that it is safer for us in Idris and Maryse wants us to leave as soon as possible."

Finally letting go of Magnus' hand, the raven haired shadowhunter moved toward his brother with a look of confusion on his face.

"How soon is 'as soon as possible'?"

"She said something along the lines of 'tonight'…" Jace tailed off.

"What?" Alec and Magnus both exclaimed at the same time.

The blond spared a glance at the two of them, this time slightly longer, before speaking again.

"Um...yeah you kind of missed that piece of information at the clave meeting. Speaking of- you're probably going to want to go to the library before Maryse gets even more upset-"

Alec blanched. "Are you-Jace really?!" With a groan and not even waiting for an answer he took off for the library. He would never regret spending even a second with Magnus but he had really missed _a whole conclave meeting?_ It was hard enough getting clave members to listen to him because he was one of the youngest, and he was gay, and his parabatai was a bit on the wild side and the list went on and on. Missing this meeting was definitely not going to help his standing with them.

He tried to enter the library as quietly as possible but when he walked in he saw his mother standing by the desk and looking at him expectantly. She looked extremely pissed.

Alec opened his mouth to speak: "Mother, I-" the same time Maryse went to say: "Alexander-" They both cut off, Alec abashed and flinching slightly at the sound of his full name and Maryse growing even more irritated.

He looked down at his shoes and waited for her to speak again. It was easier to just take everything in rather than try to argue back.

"Alexander, you insist on being treated like an adult but then you can't even show up to a meeting that is supposed to consist of all shadowhunters in New York. Even Luke and Jocelyn, who have barely had anything to do with us for years now were here and you, my own son, were-Where were you?"

Alec didn't know how to respond. He knew that not going home right away was irresponsible but he had been so happy to be waking up next to Magnus again. Happy enough that he had tried relaxing and 'putting himself first' and that had resulted in him missing a meeting. Again, he didn't regret spending time with Magnus, he just wished he could so much as breathe without the little broken pieces of the world that they were trying to keep together growing more cracks and threatening to collapse in on itself.

Thinking of Magnus...he had forgotten all about his boyfriend?-it felt good to be able to say the word again even if there was a question mark at the end of it- in his mad dash to get to the library.

He couldn't do anything right today.

"Alexander!" Maryse's voice sounded again, snapping him out of his reverie. Alec wondered how long he had been standing there, lost in thought and just looking at her.

"Yes, mother?" He answered.

"You never answered my question. Where. Were. You?" She chopped up her question so that each word would become its own sentence. There was no avoiding this.

Just as he had opened his mouth to spit out something random and vague a voice rang out through the room.

"Alexander was actually trying to locate me since he knew that you would need a warlock if you were planning on leaving tonight. Which, by the way, is a very tight squeeze but I'll try my best to pencil you guys in."

Magnus settled himself at the very edge of Alec's peripheral vision but even while he was so far away,or at least what seemed far to the young shadowhunter, he felt his body relax slightly and release some of the built up tension.

An unreadable expression crossed Maryse's face before she composed herself again and spoke in a voice that conveyed very little-if any- emotion. "Warlock Bane." She said as a way of greeting.

Magnus nodded his head slightly, "Maryse."

"How much would it cost for you to make a portal-" And from there stemmed a conversation about money, and times, and how many people would go through when, and a bunch of other stuff that Alec should have probably listened to but he just couldn't focus. There was so much going on at one time, like another Institute being attacked, and having to go to Idris, and he had just gotten back together with Magnus, and he would already have to leave.

He didn't know how much time had passed but his mother was addressing him again and he was snapping to attention to make it seem like he had been observing the whole conversation and possibly even taking notes on how to conduct business deals with downworlders.

"Alexander, you should go pack. Bane, be here by at the very latest, ten so you can set up the portal."

"I'll see what I can do." But Magnus' response fell onto deaf ears because Maryse was already heading out of the library, no longer listening after she had already dismissed them.

They kept their silence until they heard the door closing behind her.

"Well, that was easier than I thought it would be. She kept her glaring to a minimum and only pointed out the fact that I was a warlock a record number of _two times_." Magnus said, still looking in the direction Maryse had exited from.

Alec let out a surprised sound that was almost a laugh. Usually when his mother talked to him in that condescending tone of hers, he had to brood for a few hours before he could get over it. Magnus was able to make him feel better with just a few words.

Alec walked up to him so that they were only separated by a handful of inches. He was so close that the gold and green swirls of his love's eyes blended together.

He looked down at their shoes which were as monumentally different as their personalities and spoke: "I'm sorry you had to go through that."

Magnus slipped a hand under his chin and lifted it ,"Don't worry about it, I've had to deal with much worse than that before." The hand disappeared from his chin and moved to rest on his shoulders. "Now let's go get you packed, hmm?"

* * *

Magnus' version of packing consisted of the warlock snapping his fingers and magicking Alec's clothes into a duffel bag.

They were currently laying on Alec's bed. He didn't know the next time he would be able to do this, or the next time he would be back home, or the next time he would see Magnus after he stepped through the portal to Idris.

"I had hoped that when I did this it would be with more pizazz but-" Magnus started, breaking the silence between them, "I figured that since you are going to be halfway around the world, now is as good a time as any."

Alec lifted his head from its position over Magnus' steady heartbeat to give him a confused look.

The older man snapped his fingers, causing a spiral bound notebook to appear next to Alec's hand.

"Those pages that I gave you before, they were just an introduction. But these- these are some of the tales of my life that have shaped me into who I am today and I want you to read them because I want you to know who I am. Who I really am."

Alec didn't know how to respond. Here was legitimate proof that Magnus was willing to trust him and tell him things that no one else knew. Here was proof that Magnus really did want to be with him for the rest of their little eternity.

He leaned forward and captured Magnus' lips with his own. There was no need for words right now when they were finally on the same page, both of them wanting the same thing and both of them knowing exactly how the other felt in that moment.

When they pulled away, Alec rested his head against the soft, yet firm chest of his boyfriend. He flipped open the book and his attention was immediately caught by something on the inside cover.

On it was a picture of a caramel colored hand cupping a ball of blue fire and above it was written the words: The Bane Chronicles.

He couldn't help but smile. The whole thing was very Magnus.

"I didn't know that you could draw." He observed.

Magnus shrugged, "Yeah, well- after we broke up, I had a lot of time to pursue new endeavors like thoroughly thinking things through, writing, and cover art design."

He smiled again, "I think it's beautiful."

Alec felt Magnus brush the hair away from his face and then continue to run his fingers through it. "Thank you, my love, I'm glad you think so but could you possibly do me a favor?"

"Anything."

"You can read the first eight as soon and as many times as your heart desires but all I ask is that you wait until we are together again to read the last two. That way I can see your reactions."

He was a bit confused as to why it was so important that Magnus see his reactions but if that was what he wanted then Alec guessed he could wait it out.

Alec nodded against his chest. "I promise."

* * *

**A/N: This is the longest chapter that I have written so far so hopefully there is something in here that you guys liked. **

**I ****just want to take this moment to thank everyone who has followed, favorited and reviewed this story even when I was away. I love and appreciate each and every one of you.**

**-Alexandermylove **


	11. The Portal

**A/N: Hey! New chapter. Up a little late, a bit short, but a chapter nonetheless. More at bottom. **

* * *

Magnus tried to throw himself into creating the portal.

If he could just focus on the spell, and the chanting in a different language, and the right hand gestures then maybe he could distract himself from the unpleasant fact that all of the Shadowhunters were leaving.

He still remembered how he had helped create the very first portal. It had been a lot more hard work and way more tiring all those years ago than it was right now. Now it was almost easy. Even though he tried so hard to focus solely on his actions, his mind kind wandering over to the blue eyed, black haired beauty that was currently trying to blend into the shadows that were cast by the tall spires of the Institute.

They had only just gotten back together and here he was, leaving Magnus, to go into hiding for Lilith knew how long.

He really didn't want to dwell on it for too long. He knew Alec and he knew that the young nephilim would gladly throw himself in the line of danger if it meant he could save someone he cared about. It was an honorable personality trait even though Magnus sometimes felt that he was going to develop heart palpitations because of all the worrying he did over his Shadowhunter.

The thought of fully opening himself up to someone for the first time in his very long life had, and still did, scared him, sure. Finding someone that he loved with every fiber of his being, having the feelings requited, everything was finally settling into place, it was looking like they would finally be able to make everything work between them...and there was a chance that after today, Magnus would never see Alexander again.

That was truly terrifying.

The fact that he just had to turn his head slightly to the left to be able to find his love looking back at him unabashedly and then in a week's time find out that those beautiful blue eyes would never shine again made Magnus feel sick to his stomach.

He didn't- Magnus shook his head to clear it. He realized that he had stopped chanting somewhere while he was distracted and started back up again, this time going faster and the words coming out louder. He couldn't let himself get distracted again.

When he finally finished he stepped aside from the glowing blue doorway and closed his eyes. He still wasn't ready to allow his mind to wander to thoughts of Alec again so he started humming one of the crappy, popular, mundane songs that was currently getting a lot of radio time.

This time, his endeavor was so successful that he didn't hear the person walking up and settling in front of him.

"Is this a joke to you warlock?" The harsh voice snapped him out of his own head.

He smirked down at her, "Quite the contrary Maryse, getting you all to Idris, and safely, is more important to me than you think." He let his eyes wander over to his favorite Shadowhunter for a brief moment before looking back down at said boys mother.

"So it's finished then?"

"Yes, and perfectly capable of transporting the entire clave of New York to your nice, safe, and ward protected homeland."

"Good-" When her voice trailed off Magnus almost thought that she would thank him for his services but instead she turned around and addressed all of the Shadowhunters who had all gathered that they could start walking through the portal to Idris.

He stayed to watch the first few cross over the blue threshold before abandoning his position to seek out a certain someone who had disappeared while all of his fellow nephilim had lined up for the crossing.

Since they were the ones who ran the Institute, the Lightwoods would be the last ones to go through it so the boy couldn't have been too far.

He headed over to the place where he had last seen the black haired, blue eyed beauty.

Magnus suddenly felt a hand on his shoulder, spinning him around, before reaching down for his fingers and dragging him around a corner, deeper into the shadows.

He raised an eyebrow. "Please tell me we aren't going back to hiding again, love, because I must admit that-even though it added a bit of excitement-it was the one thing I didn't miss about our past relations."

Alec had a smirk on his face when he replied, "I wouldn't call it 'hiding' per se. I just wanted some privacy to do this-" Alec closed the distance between their two bodies until it felt like it no longer existed. All those methods that he had tried to distract himself with, none of them compared to this moment right here. Nothing could ever compare to having this hard body and these soft lips pressed against his own.

And he might never see Alexander again.

When they finally pulled away Magnus felt like he was on the verge of tears. His eyes scanned the face of his love, trying to memorize every line. The almost paper white skin pale skin, deeply contrasted by the midnight black waves of hair, the delicious pink color of his lips, the magnificent, bright, beautiful, cerulean blue of his eyes. He never wanted to forget this face. Even if he lived for 1,000 more years he wanted this face to remain as familiar to him as the back of his hand.

He raised his hands to frame Alec's face. "I need you to stay alive." Magnus moved even closer so that his lips brushed against the boys ear. "I need you to come back to me."

Alec moved so that their foreheads were now resting against each other and smiled up at him.

"I will come back. There is no force on this earth that can keep me away from you."

Magnus knew that there were a lot of forces that could keep them apart: the clave, or the knife of a dark Shadowhunter to the throat, but he didn't want to ruin the moment. Right now, he wanted to believe that nothing could ever come between them. That Alec would only be gone for a day or two and then when he came back, everything would be fine and life and love would go on as if they had never been interrupted.

They kissed one last time. Each brush of lips was enough to show Magnus how much love was between them and how much they both wanted and needed this to work in order to go on with their lives.

They eventually, and very reluctantly, broke away from each other.

Alec looked up at him meaningfully. Shadowhunter's never truly said goodbye, something or other about it being bad luck, but he didn't need one. Looking into Alec's eyes he saw so much more than what could ever be put into words.

"I love you." Magnus said. What he felt just _had_ to be put out there. If he never saw Alexander again, he had to at least know that he had reminded the boy of that fact one last time.

Alec smiled at him, causing him to smile back in return.

"I love you too."

With one last squeeze of his hands, Alec let go and moved away from him. The boy turned around and walked away without even a backward glance.

Magnus watched as he went to find his sister, took her hand, and disappeared through the portal with her.

Even though he was wearing a coat, Magnus still felt cold having to close the glowing blue doorway with him on one side and Alexander on the other.

* * *

**A/N: I hope you liked that even though it was short compared to the last couple chapters. **

**S****o I have a question for you guys...I noticed that this story focuses more on thoughts and emotion rather than action. Would you prefer if I just continue with what I'm currently doing or do you want some action in the mix too? I think I kind of have to because of the events that happen once Alec reaches Idris and everything that follows but I can tone it down some if you guys want. I want to make this story as good as it can possibly be so your wish is my command! **

**Follows, favorites and reviews are always welcome! ;***

**-Alexandermylove**


	12. The Siblings

**A/N: Hey guys! New chapter! There is not much Malec in this but I hope you like it anyway. **

* * *

It been almost too easy keeping himself alive and intact with all of his limbs still attached so far so why had he screwed up so royally in the whole 'not upsetting his sister and having her running out of the room with tears in her eyes' department?

He hated seeing his sister upset and he hated it even more when he was the cause of her feeling that way.

He knew that Max was still a sensitive subject, for all of them, but for some reason mentioning him had just escaped his lips.

He had been so distracted. With talk of evacuating institutes, hiding, '_who will watch the watchers?'_, their parents, and them being in an unhappy marriage, the fact had just slipped out. His brain hadn't even made the connection between the fact and it proving true to their own lives until he had seen the look in Izzy's eyes.

He had worked so hard to squash down all feelings of guilt and regret and sadness and anger until they were all packed up and shoved into the farthest corner of his brain. He didn't have to think about them when they were there so he could continue to function and go on for his siblings and parents and be the strong son and brother they needed him to be. He didn't mean to make it sound like he hadn't cared about his little brother, he loved Max more than anything, but he couldn't focus on it too much or he would drown in all of his emotion.

He knocked on the door and waited.

And waited.

He knocked again.

More silence.

"Iz-" He started to speak but was soon cut off.

"Go away Alec, I don't want to talk to you." She hadn't yelled it so that was a good sign.

"But I want to talk to you so please-" He tried the doorknob even though it was predictably locked. "Just open the door Isabelle."

He heard the faint sound of footsteps and felt the knob twitch in his hand as if she had started to open it and then stopped herself halfway through.

"I'm here, so just talk."

Her voice didn't sound angry, just sad and slightly devastated. Isabelle acted so strong and confident that sometimes he forgot that she was sensitive. He forgot that even though she was a badass demon hunter, she was still just a sixteen year old girl that had already seen so much, perhaps even too much, in her short lifetime.

He leaned his head against the door. What could he say to make her feel better? Could he even do it?

"I'm sorry, Izzy. I really am. I wish I could have protected Max just as much as you do and I miss him more than anything. I don't have all the answers, I wish I did, but I don't. I know it's hard to hold onto hope because he's gone and he always will be but even though it hurts-"

"And hurts and hurts _and hurts_ we have to stay strong for the greater good, right?" Izzy allowed herself to raise her voice this time and Alec heard how it cracked on some of her last words.

I took him a while to find his own voice. He was the cause of this. He had hurt his sister, he hadn't meant to, but he had nonetheless.

"Actually," He didn't raise his voice higher than a whisper but he knew she could hear it just fine. "I was going to say 'because he would have wanted us to be happy.'"

There was a pained sounding intake of breath from the other side of the door before it suddenly flew inward. Instead of leaning against the solid wood he now was the only thing supporting his sister that was silently crying against his chest. He felt the liquid of the tears slowly soaking his shirt while his hands went up and stroked her hair.

He understood the need to be a strong Shadowhunter that was able to weather any obstacle thrown their way, especially with their parents looming around downstairs, but he also understood her pain and heartbreak that threatened to consume her world.

He would stand with her forever if it meant he could take away even a fraction of her pain.

* * *

They ended up on top of the sheets in pretty much the same position: her head pressed against his chest and him absently stroking her hair. Her tears had stopped but she had not wanted to be alone, neither did he, so the dynamic worked out pretty well.

He was pretty sure that Izzy had fallen asleep and he was glad because she needed the rest. With the way things were going he didn't think they would get many more moments where they could just stop and let themselves fully feel whatever it was they were feeling. He was sure that in the near future they would barely have enough time to suppress all their emotions, make sure they were pushed back to the far recesses of their minds, and keep going, keep fighting, keep trying to find Sebastian.

He closed his eyes with the intention of only resting his lids for a few minutes but the next time he opened them he knew that a long time had passed. Alec turned slightly as to not wake up his still sleeping sister and looked out the window noticing that it was now dark outside. The thought of leaving briefly crossed his mind before he remembered how Isabelle, strong, beautiful and unbreakable Isabelle, had sounded when she asked him to stay because she didn't want to be alone. He settled back down next to her and got more comfortable.

As her older brother he wanted to protect her from anything and everything and even though he knew he couldn't do it he could damn well try. He felt like he had lost so much time with her because of the whole Magnus situation. Alec promised himself that whether or not he and Magnus worked out, and he hoped with every fiber in his being that they would, he would always make time for his family. He had already lost one sibling, there was no way he could lose another. He wouldn't allow it.

No matter what it took.

* * *

**A/N: So no Malec but Alec and Izzy bonding/crying time. I just felt like we needed to see Alec's relationship with his siblings because they are as important to him as Magnus is and idk maybe with his promise that he made to stay alive and his promise that he made to keep his siblings alive he will have to choose one over the other in a later chapter. **

**We will get to see Malec in the next chapter but it will be the last fluffy chapter you get for a while because after that the shit is going to hit the fan. **

**Are you excited because I am. **

**Follows, favorites and reviews are always welcome!**

**-Alexandermylove**


	13. The Last Supper

**A/N: Hey so no idea why it took me so long to update. I have every intention of posting at a reasonable time and then before I know it two weeks have passed. Oops. **

**Anyway...hope you like this chapter**

* * *

Shadowhunters: Stupidly throwing themselves into the direct line of fire and just barely managing to keep themselves alive, with the help of kind warlocks, since 1234. Magnus thought with a roll of his eyes.

Or at least he would have- if he had the energy.

He was currently in Angel Square, right outside the the Basilias in Alicante, leaning over the injured Shadowhunter Clary Morgenstern and trying to channel the life energy back into her body. It was a very complicated and delicate process. If he made one wrong move-that could be the end. They had already sent out and lost too many nephilim for one day, Magnus wouldn't let this one slip through the cracks too.

* * *

When Magnus had finally finished and Luke and Jocelyn had taken their daughter away, he had barely had enough energy to stumble through the winding streets of Idris' capital city and basically collapse against the wall of the inquisitors house. His legs threatened to give out on him, he was so exhausted, but he forced himself to persevere for just a bit longer.

He used up the last bit of his magic to snap his fingers and send a message up to the person who he was desperately hoping was currently occupying the building. If they weren't, he had wasted all of his time hobbling here and the actual tenants would be in for a nice surprise when they found the High Warlock of Brooklyn passed out on their doorstep.

He faintly heard the sound of a door opening and a deep voice that was as familiar to him as the back of his hand calling out his name before darkness overtook him.

* * *

Magnus woke up feeling disoriented. He was in an unfamiliar bed in an unfamiliar room. He felt a faint pain in his legs- he suspected it was because of them being in the same position all night. But even with his legs bent, his toes still brushed the edge of the mattress. If he fully extended them his feet and a portion of his calves would hang over the edge. He suspected that Alec had the same predicament with the bed.

Thinking of Alec-

He suddenly realized that his head was resting in the Shadowhunter's lap and the younger boy was running his fingers through Magnus' hair. He felt like he could go back to sleep while Alexander was doing that and just forget about all the crap that was going on in the outside world.

He moaned lightly and pressed his face closer to the Shadowhunter's thigh.

He felt rather than heard- Alec chuckle at his antics.

The younger man leaned down and pressed a kiss between the skin of his eyebrows.

"How are you feeling?" When he spoke Magnus could feel the warmth of his breath against his forehead.

"Tired." He murmured against the boys leg.

Alec laughed again. Magnus was sure that if he listened to that sound everyday until the end of his days he would never get tired of it.

"I assumed so. You were unconscious by the time I made it outside. I had to carry you up here."

He felt a small ache in his chest at the words. Alec had carried him up to his room? He knew that his shadowhunter was sweet but was there an end to his kindness?

"Thank you for that, darling. I was so tired I would have gladly slept on the floor of your living room as long as it meant I could get some sleep."

"I would have never let you sleep on the floor."

He sighed contentedly and attempted to get even closer to the pale angel. "I know, love. I know."

* * *

When Magnus woke up again he was feeling way more alert and his energies were restored. The only thing that could make the situation better was if he and Alec were in the same position that they had been in before he had fallen asleep the second time. Or he could have settled for Alec at least being in the same room.

When he opened his eyes he had been greeted by two beds, one occupied by himself, the other empty but spread impeccably with hospital corners and everything, clothes scattered everywhere as if a tornado had passed through the room, and no Alec to be found anywhere.

He swung his legs over the side of the bed, even though he had no idea where he would go once he left the room- but before he could finish the action the door swung open revealing the pale Shadowhunter. Alec always just seemed to appear whenever Magnus needed him to. And even though he himself could perform magic, this always seemed to be a form of it that would always be beyond his grasp and never cease to amaze him.

Alec was holding a tray in his hands and as he got closer Magnus could smell food wafting over from it.

Alec placed the tray in Magnus' lap and plopped down next to him on the bed.

"Hope you're hungry." He gave Magnus a small smile.

The older man surveyed the contents of the tray- eggs, bacon, bread, and orange juice. It all looked really good- but Magnus had to admit that he would probably still say that even if Alec had served him indistinguishable gray mush.

He took up the fork and started to dig into the eggs, discovering that they were as tasty as they looked. He found himself beaming at Alec before going back to the food.

He was about halfway through when a question popped into his head.

"Where are the rest of your family?"

"My parents are both at the Gard, Jace is still in the Basilias, and Izzy-" Alec sighed heavily at the sound of his sister's name escaping his own lips and and dropped his face into his hands.

"Did something happen between you two?"

"Did something happen?" Alec repeated almost incredulously. His voice was muffled by his hands. "Try blaming our parents for Max being killed and informing me that our father cheated on our mother and the only reason he stuck around was because Max was born."

Magnus was starting to regret asking. Why couldn't he have just eaten the food, maybe laid his head on Alec's shoulder, and perhaps stayed like that until he had to go to that damn dinner with the faeries? Why had he opened his mouth in the first place?

He snapped his fingers so that the tray was now on the ground and moved closer to Alec- whose head was still in his hands.

"Wow-that is-horrible." He knew about Isabelle's mouth and how she sometimes just exploded- not caring about the consequences until it was too late. In this case it had been exposing a family secret that had been kept hidden for years and probably would have been better if it had stayed that way. "Is it true?" Magnus finally asked after a moment of silence.

Alec finally raised his head. His eyes were a stormy color- more gray than blue- and the pain was very much palpable in his facial features. The boy slowly nodded.

"Yeah. Yeah it is." His voice was low but Magnus had heard it anyway.

Magnus had never known what it was like to have a good father. His real one was a demon, unable to love anyone or anything, and reaped destruction everywhere he went. His stepfather had hated him from the moment he laid eyes on Magnus. He claimed that Magnus was evil and a demon- the latter was true but nonetheless it was a terrible thing to say about a newborn child. He supposed that he could also consider the silent brothers in Madrid that he had run to after his stepfather had died a group of temporary fathers but even though they were helpful, they were also cold- an unfortunate trait that they could not help. And after that...he had been alone.

Magnus had never known what it was like to have a good father but for a while Alec had. Alec had grown up with a father that was present in his life and taught him how to hold a sword and how to fight. Alec had had a man in his life that he could look up to and aspire to be. But then he had lost all of that. The father that Alec had now was cold and distant, didn't approve of his son's sexuality and now...Alec had found out that his father was also a cheater.

And even though Magnus had only known bad fathers in his long life he was pretty sure that having a good father turn into a bad one over time had to hurt even worse.

Slowly he reached out an arm and draped it over Alec's shoulder then leaned forward and pressed a kiss onto the boys forehead. He tried to portray as much emotion as he possibly could into that kiss. Alec relaxed against Magnus' body, dropping his head so that it could rest against the warlocks neck. Magnus just stroked the other boys hair as a way to remind Alec that he was there.

* * *

He was still thinking about the way Alec's hair had felt between his fingers when he was suddenly snapped out of his revere by Luke who was calling out his name.

"Magnus? Are you paying attention?"

"What?" He automatically asked but quickly recovered. "Of course I am." He took a nonchalant sip of his wine. "I agree one hundred percent."

Jocelyn was quick to respond, "Really. You agree that Downworlders should abandon the problem of Sebastian and his dark army and leave it to the shadowhunters, as a shadowhunter issue?"

What ensued after that was more conversation that proved that Magnus hadn't actually been listening which was followed by Magnus continuing to not listen. He just felt like he _couldn't. _He was feeling light headed and when he opened his mouth to speak, he was slurring his words. How had he gotten drunk on such little wine? He frowned.

"What kind of wine is this?"

Meliorn leaned back in his chair, crossing his arms. There was a glint in his eyes as he replied. "Does the vintage not please you, warlock?"

He faintly heard Jocelyn and Luke talking but he couldn't make out the words.

He might have heard the faerie laugh at some point but all the sounds in the room were just a musical blur in Magnus' ears. He tried to glance up at Raphael but he was facedown on the table, as still as the dead creature he would have been if he wasn't a vampire.

He watched as Luke and Jocelyn also passed out and fell onto the floor. He somehow found a way to stand and he rushed to the door. Maybe if he could get outside, he could call for help- but on the other side of the door stood some endarkened warriors dressed up in red gear. Magnus turned away from them and ended up falling to his knees.

His vision was flickering, the world darkening around the edges.

He suddenly heard Meliorn's voice. It sounded close like he was right next to Magnus' ear but far away like he was on the other side of a tunnel.

"Demon-fathered one. Did you really think we would ever ally with your kind?"

Magnus wanted to respond with something, anything but the words would not come. What did come, however, was darkness.

Total, complete, and absolute.

* * *

**A/N: I started out with the intention of writing a really fluffy Malec moment before Magnus went and got himself captured but Robert just went and ruined it. I guess y'all are just going to have to wait until they manage to save him. **

**I start school tomorrow so I'm not sure how often I'll be able to post but reviews are an awesome source of motivation. **

**-Alexandermylove**


	14. The Ice

**A/N: Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry. It's been like a month and I never wanted to go this long without posting a chapter but it just happened and- I don't know. I'm going to try really hard to keep a regular-ish posting schedule from now on (since this is ending relatively soon) so we'll see what happens. **

**For this chapter I didn't want to just copy over all the dialogue and actions over from the book (because you already know what happens) so this is very thought based. Hopefully you still like it! **

* * *

Wasn't it funny how life could be going relatively well and then suddenly take a downtown for the worst?

One would think that Alec would be used to the roller coaster ride that was the life of a shadowhunter but each and every time something happened he was still left devastated.

This time it was Magnus.

Magnus that he had seen, and kissed, and touched, and who he had laid his head upon to hear the warlocks steady heartbeat. Magnus who had walked out of his house promising to come back after the dinner with the other council members.

Alec had waited up. At first somewhat relaxed- as relaxed as a shadowhunter could be in this time- and read a book. Then, a bit restlessly, pacing the floor of his room and looking back at the fire message Magnus had sent him just to make sure that the last few hours of his life hadn't been imagined, his mind just conjuring up Magnus when he had no one else. And finally, worried, sitting by the door, now clutching the message in his hand as if his life depended on it, while it grew light outside.

He only left his position when he had to to attend the council meeting. Alec had no idea what to think. Magnus had not seemed angry with him when he had left so that wasn't it.

Maybe the dinner had just been really long and, exhausted, he had gone back to his safe house instead? The boy had to admit that it was closer than his own house.

It felt like the fire message was burning a hole into his pocket and his hands were shaking slightly but he ignored them. He pushed his worry back farther and farther until it was just a dull pain throbbing in the back of his head. Magnus was fine right? Magnus was always fine. He would show up after the council meeting was done with a smile on his face, would kiss Alec's forehead, and then have some story about how annoying Meliron and Raphael had been that would make Alec smile and forget about why he was worried in the first place.

He had almost convinced himself that it was true but then he had seen the word:

_Veni_.

It was written in angel's blood and Alec knew it could have only been written by one person.

And then he found out that it wasn't just Magnus who hadn't been seen since the council meeting, but all of the representatives had all suddenly just disappeared.

The worry reared up bright and red and crippling for a minute. It was harder to push it down that time but he had to. He was with his fellow shadowhunters, his parents, and Isabelle- who he couldn't be angry with since it wasn't her fault for being upset over what had happened all those years ago- he had to keep it together. What other option was there but to?

The only time he had let his emotion really slip through was when he reached out to his brother. Being with his parabatai had made him feel better and worse at the same time. This was the person that he was bound to, who knew the both the light and dark parts of his soul, who knew him better than most people, and who he knew he could tell anything to. But being with Jace brought back the raw emotion and pain that was threatening to consume him and he held on to the fabric of his brothers shirt so tightly that his knuckles started to hurt and his hands started to shake again.

He wanted to-had to- ignore his heart that was beating against his chest so hard that it hurt. He had to keep his head. Alec had to be able to think things through clearly. Separate his feelings and his thoughts and he could get through this.

Magnus wasn't even supposed to be here. Yes, the boy knew that the warlock had come in the stead of Catarina and for a second, a selfish thought slipped through the barriers in his mind: _I wish I could turn back the clock and make it so that Magnus and Catarina hadn't switched places, that Magnus had just stayed in New York and-_

No.

He didn't know Catarina all that well but he wouldn't want her to be missing, lost to the hands of Sebastian and his endarkened shadowhunters. He wouldn't wish that fate on anyone, even if it meant that those he loved would be safe instead.

And he kept trying to push everything back. Just push and push and push until the pain doesn't feel like pain and the worry is minimized, stored away for later and he can focus on more important things.

Like the fact that his fellow Nephilim only seemed to be worried about themselves.

And continuing to hide.

And keeping the accords, but how could they possibly do that while the downworld council members were missing?

Alec didn't want to feel angry but the burning hot rage was better than the crippling fear and worry. Fear made him want to curl up and lament the fact that he had lost Magnus _again_ and he might never see him again.

But Anger- anger made him want to go out and take action into his own hands since this meeting was going nowhere.

And just as it felt like nothing else could go wrong, things took another sudden downturn when he saw a guard-who turned out to be an endarkened warrior- threaten to take the life of the Consul.

Everything seemed to be going in slow motion. Alec vaguely felt his hand moving for his weapon but he couldn't move fast enough. It felt like he was only there to watch as the world unraveled around him. Matthias was spouting about how they were not safe and how in exchange for Jace and Clary, Sebastian would hand over the downworld representatives.

Alec had already known what had happened to them but hearing it said out loud- it made things more tangible and harder to repress.

And he was no longer just experiencing things in slow motion, it felt as if the world was being consumed with ice too. His whole body freezing in place and becoming an ice sculpture. He felt so fucking helpless as he just stood there, feeling as if he would crack down the middle at any second, while Matthias went on and on.

He wouldn't let Jace and Clary fall back into the clutches of Sebastian. There was no telling what Valentine's son would do to them and there was a 101% percent chance that he would not keep his end of the bargain.

Alec had already lost Magnus to the mad man.

The only thing that would come out of this 'trade' would be him losing another chunk of his heart in a matter of hours.

He was so cold. He could feel a tremor running through his blood and see frozen his limbs shake even though he was still frozen. Everything was so wrong. He didn't understand how everything had gone so wrong so quickly. He wanted to go back, he wanted the world to be a simpler place where relations with downworlders were getting better and his family was whole and he still remembered what it felt like to lift his lips up into a smile- because right now it felt like they could never form the same shape that they use to.

And-Matthias was drawing the blade away from Jia's throat and even though he may not be able to help Magnus right now, or stop his brother from acting like a crazy martyr, Alec saw an opportunity to do _something _to help in the only way that he could.

He shuddered once and the ice around him thawed, cracking into large pieces that landed at his feet.

In a second he had an arrow nocked.

In half a second he aimed.

In a quarter of a second he let go, trusting that the arrow will go where it is needed.

The loud, clear sound of metal hitting metal was the only confirmation that he needed.

"Nakir!" Alec heard a familiar voice yell before he saw Jace shouldering through the crowd trying to get up to the dais.

Without thinking about it, he found himself running after the blond idiot and tackling him, barely avoiding melting as the dais went up in flames.

They tumbled down some stairs- it was probably only just a few but to Alec it felt like he was falling for the longest time, falling and falling with no end in sight even as they hit the floor.

He was snapped out of it when Jace let out a small exclamation of pain. He got off of his parabatai and gave him a quick once over, trying to find where he had sustained the injury.

Jace's wrist was swelling up- probably nothing worse than a sprain. But besides from that they were both fine.

On the outside at least.

* * *

**A/N: What do you think? Worth the wait? **

**Feel free to comment and tell me what you thought! **

**And if I disappear again feel free to yell at me. (Sometimes I need a little push in the right direction)**

**Till next time! **

**-Alexandermylove **


	15. The cell

**A/N: Ughhh. I know that I keep promising that I won't to disappear before disappearing over and over again and for that I'm soo sorry. I never have the intention of disappearing but then life or school or work or a month long case of writers block *shudders just thinking back to that dark time* gets in the way. Just know that I'm not abandoning this story. I would never do that no matter how long it takes me to update. **

**Since I took so long, this chapter is a long one and I even added a bit of fluff in it (even though they're currently not in the same place, I made it work) **

**Just a disclaimer, I ended up drawing heavily from CoHF so some of the stuff that is included in here is written by Cassie and not me. **

**I hope you like it: **

* * *

_Magnus hears laughter. Loud and clear and as beautiful as song. _

_He thinks he would enjoy it more if his head wasn't pounding. _

_His temples felt as if someone was trying to bash it open with a hammer. But that laughter- he wouldn't want it to stop for the world._

_ It is familiar, so familiar yet he couldn't pinpoint where he had heard the sound before. _

_His eyes open. They had been closed? How had he missed that piece of information before? Anyway, his eyes open to meet twin blue pools. They are framed by long, midnight black eyelashes and pale alabaster skin._

_It was the laughter, the eyes, the skin of the man he loved. _

_The pain in his head quieted. A feeling that he couldn't really describe- something that sent a tingling that traveled all the way from the base of his head to the tips of his toes- came over him while being in this boy's presence._

_Seeing the perfect pink lips pulled back from the glittery white teeth, the blue of his eyes looking almost luminescent and hearing the loud carefree sound of the laugh- Magnus knew that if he had been able to think, his mind would have emptied by this point. He couldn't remember anything that had happened before this moment in time and he wasn't exactly upset about that fact. _

_As long as he was with this boy he didn't need to worry about anything._

_He felt his lips curve up to form into a smile and it wasn't until then that he realized that they were not sitting up right. Both of them were laid out on what Magnus recognized to be his couch and Magnus had the younger boy pinned beneath him. _

_He suddenly became aware of his body, how it felt to have his legs tangled with the pale boy's, how it felt to feel the boy moving beneath him. _

_The boy was laughing. Laughing so hard because Magus was -tickling him? He was. And the warlock had to admit that the way the boy's cheeks were tinted pink and the way his facial expression was open as if nothing could ever go wrong in the world- he found it adorable. And those sounds- he wished he could record those sounds and listen to them on repeat for the rest of his days. _

_"Magnus-" The boy finally breathed out. The warlock almost froze but kept it up because he needed to hear the way his name sounded on this boy's tongue again. _

_"What darling?" He smiled down at the Shadowhunter writhing beneath him. _

_"Magnus, please-" _

_"Please what love?" _

_"Magnus!" _

_"Alright. Alright. Fine." His fingers stilled. They laid there panting, both breathless from all the laughing._

_They were in that position for all of a minute when suddenly the Nephilim flipped them over and he was laying on his back with the Shadowhunter straddling him. Sometimes Magnus forgot just how strong his boyfriend was. _

_He looked up into beautiful blue orbs and they stared back down at him with adoration and love, so much love, more love than Magnus could remember experiencing in years. And his Shadowhunter was leaning down, slowly closing the space between them and he was leaning up and their lips were about to touch-_

_And Magnus' body filled with pain. A terrible pain that worked its way through his skin making him feel like he was going to throw up or his head was about to explode-whichever came first. _

_And he was forgetting something. _

_Something important. _

_Someone important. _

_He needed this person, needed them if he ever wanted to be whole again. Needed them to bring back the calm feeling that was so much better than all of this pain right now. And his head was pounding. He could practically feel his brain pulsing against the walls of his skull but he could almost remember almost make out a name._

_A-_

_Darkness threatened to close in around him._

_A-_

_So much pain._

_Al-_

_Would it just be better to give in? _

_Ale-_

_He knew this. As soon as he got it he could go back to darkness but not now._

_Alec _

* * *

Magnus woke with a start.

His dream or memory or whatever fading away with each deep breath he tried to take. It wasn't until he could breathe again that he noticed his surroundings.

He was currently surrounded by Dark Shadowhunters that were in the middle of chaining him to the floor.

Wait- chaining him to the floor?!

Stupidly, he tried to jerk back but one of them, that must have been behind him, delivered a swift kick to his lower back causing a burning pain to move up his spine.

He heard the sound of laughing and turned slightly to see Sebastian standing just outside the doorway and grinning at him like a death's-head.

Magnus wanted nothing more than to spit in that beautifully terrible face. If only he had just kept Valentine's son frozen and used him as a coat rack- he wouldn't be in this mess right now.

With one last kick- this time to Magnus' side- the Endarkened were moving out of the room and the door was closing behind them. After it slammed shut, there was no sign that it had ever been there in the first place. It just blended into the wall.

The warlock tried pulling at the chains but they wouldn't budge. He pulled again and again but it only succeeded in hurting his wrists and forearms farther. Panting again, he leaned down and rested his head against his knees.

There was a strange humming feeling in his blood. Almost like a small fire burning its way through his veins, drying his mouth and making his throat and head ache. And he knew-he just knew that he was no longer on Earth.

Just great.

Not only did he not have use of his hands-Sebastian had apparently done his research-but not enough to know that while being in this demon dimension, there was no difference between himself and a mundane. He was weakened and without magic.

Practically useless.

He finally looked up to take in his surroundings while the room wasn't occupied by malicious Shadowhunters and saw that he was in a circular holding cell, stone benches ran along the inside of the walls and there were narrow windows, as narrow as arrow slits. He also was not alone.

Raphael and Luke were sitting on the benches. The vampire looked a bit rumpled but overall fine whereas the werewolf almost looked comatose.

Luke's glasses were cracked, his brown hair was mused and his eyes had a glassy quality to them.

Magus turned his head to the right and to the left just to make sure he hadn't missed her but even after checking and double checking he was positive that they were the only people in the room.

"Jocelyn?" He asked, voice cracking slightly on the last syllable.

Luke wordlessly shook his head.

Magnus sighed heavily.

Raphael's strength would eventually recede the longer he went without blood, he couldn't think of any way Luke's wolf form could benefit them, and he himself was magicless.

Things were looking really bleak.

* * *

_Alec was biting his nails in between sips of coffee. _

_Magnus didn't think it was a nervous habit per se but instead suspected that the boy didn't even realize that he was doing it. _

_His beautiful blue eyes would travel from the cup in his hands, down to the table as he bit his nails, and the brief moments where their eyes would meet-they would hold for a second before going back to the coffee. _

_Magnus didn't mind the fact that they were just sitting around, soaking in each other's presence rather than filling it with meaningless chat. He was perfectly fine with just watching the way the boy's- Alec, his name was Alec he reminded himself- adam's apple moved as he swallowed or the way his lips parted around his nails as he bit down._

_This continued to go on for some time until one time, b__efore Alec could bring his hand up to his lips again, Magnus placed one of his own brown hands over it, squeezing slightly. _

_Alec flipped his hand over so that their palms were touching and squeezed back, looking up at Magnus to smile slightly. _

_Magnus found himself smiling back._

* * *

"Please don't rip my hand off." Magnus said. "I like that hand. I need that hand."

"Hmph," said Raphael, who was kneeling beside him, his hands on the chain that ran between the manacle on Magnus' right hand and the _adamas_ loop sunk deep into the floor. "I am only trying to help."

He jerked, hard, on the chain, and Magnus yelped in pain and glared. His whole body was already aching from the whole changing dimensions thing and the fact that Raphael was basically trying to rip his arms out of their sockets were not helping.

Raphael had thin, boyish hands, but that was deceptive: He had a vampire's strength, and he was currently bending its power to the purpose of yanking Magnus's chains out by the roots.

Or at least he was trying to.

"Do you see anything?" Magnus asked Luke, who was sitting a bench and looking out one of the small windows.

"No," Luke said shortly. Raphael raised an eyebrow at Magnus. He looked especially young in that moment, teeth digging into his lower lip as his knuckles whitened around the chain links. They were long enough to allow Magnus to sit up, but not to stand. "Just fog. Gray-yellow fog. Maybe mountains in the distance. It's hard to tell."

Raphael dropped the chain and swore in Spanish. "I cannot free you." He said, clearly frustrated.

There was a moment of silence, each getting tangled up in their own lines of thought.

Magnus' mind seemed to be full to the point of bursting- thoughts coming and going faster than he could register them and causing a dull throbbing to build up steadily in his temples, yet empty at the same time.

Eventually, Luke was the one to break the silence. "So this is where Sebastian's been hiding all this time. This is why we couldn't track him. This is his base of operations."

"Or," Raphael started, "this could be some place he has abandoned us to die and rot."

"He wouldn't bother," Luke said. "If he wanted us dead, we'd be dead, the three of us. He's got some larger plan. He always does. I just don't know why-" He broke off and Magnus was suddenly reminded of how he was when he was much younger, all flyaway hair and worried looks and his heart on his sleeve.

"He won't hurt her, " The quiet weighed heavily on the room and Magnus was quick to try to fill the space with words, "Jocelyn, I mean."

When Luke looked at him, he saw the barely hidden fear in his blue eyes.

"Why wouldn't he hurt her? Because she's his mother? It doesn't work that way. Sebastian doesn't work that way."

"Not because she's his mother," Magnus said. "Because she's Clary's mother. She's leverage. And he won't give that up easily."

* * *

_Magnus felt his eyes open and he blinked lazily as the world slowly came into focus. There was a familiar warmth pressed against him, a head resting in the crook of his neck, slow steady breath on his chest, a muscled arm thrown over his stomach._

_Shadowhunters, they get in your blood, under your skin. _

_Magnus remembers each and every single time he promised himself that he would stop involving himself in the business of Shadowhunters. All of those times that still managed to result in him falling head over heels in love with this boy that was currently lying next to him right now._

_He reached up to run his fingers through the raven colored hair, starting at the nape of the boys neck and moving up._

_The younger boy let out a pleased sound and shifted closer to Magnus in his sleep._

_This Shadowhunter was so different from all of the other ones that Magnus had experienced in all of the centuries that he had been alive._

_Alec was so open and trusting and innocent and legitimately good._

_A goodness that wasn't forced but that seemed to come so natural to him._

**"_Abashed the Devil stood, And felt how awful goodness is." _**

_All the warmth that had been building up in Magnus dissipated until it felt like he had been turned to ice._

_He could no longer feel or see his love against his side but instead there was only darkness and the hard surface of stone. He was aware of his body lying in the cell, skin feverish but shaking, hands bound together and curled in on itself in pain. He was there, yet also floating in the cold, dark, nothingness that was here._

_He had recognized the voice. It was a voice that had haunted him for centuries and would continue to do so for the rest of his life._

_It was a voice he hated._

_He saw something flicker in front of him. It looked like something flashing in and out of existence. A bright golden green that would appear for a few seconds, before being replaced by blackness, and reappearing over and over again._

_He wasn't sure how long he stared at them until he realized that they were eyes._

_The same eyes that Magnus saw whenever he looked into a mirror._

**"_You are like us. You have our blood. You are one of us. Come and be welcome. Come and be with your own." _**

_It was nothing Magnus hadn't heard before._

_He closed his eyes and let himself succumb to the darkness._

* * *

**A/N: So what did you guys think? I figured that if Magnus was going to dream about anyone that it would be about Alec. And as for the whole bolded words bit at the end, you guys probably already know who it is but I'll wait a few chapters before the 'big reveal'. **

**Make sure you guys follow, favorite and review!**

**-Alexandermylove **


	16. The Promise

**A/N: So a few things: **

**-First things first: Happy Thanksgiving! **

**-I tried to write an Alec chapter but I couldn't do it so we ended up with another from Magnus' Pov. **

**-There's probably 2 or 3 more chapters after this and I'm trying to finish within the next month so y'all will get more frequent updates if things work out well. **

**-I borrowed some of Cassie's dialogue. **

**-Hope you like this:**

* * *

_It is simple, my son-_

_Don't call me that! _Magnus wanted to scream but he might as well have said nothing.

His voice bounced around his head, loud and painful and echoing over and over again. But his mouth never formed the words.

The sounds never left his lips.

In the moment his hatred for his father reared up and consumed him in a way that he had never felt before.

_Why? You _are _my son. You are mine and you belong to me. The sooner you accept that, the easier it will be. _

Magnus didn't say anything. It was useless and it wasn't like he was saying something that he hadn't heard before.

He wasn't sure how long he had been trapped the cell with Luke and Raphael in this demon realm- it was hard to keep track.

Every time he tried to close his eyes and get some rest, his father would appear to him in his dreams and try to get the warlock to call out to him. Magnus never would- he knew that the price was too high but that didn't stop the demon from trying.

Even in his waking hours. he could hear a faint whispering, repeating the same thing over and over again to join his father, to call to him, to let go of his life that he had made among humans.

Magnus tried his best to ignore all of this, block out the noise, and not pay attention to the dreams but it was getting harder and harder.

As time went on, he could feel his strength start to leave him. His body temperature grew until it felt like he was being burned alive- but he hadn't shed so much as a single drop of sweat so perhaps it was all in his head? His joints ached and his throat was so dry it was like he had consumed enough salt to fill the damn ocean.

He tried to hold onto better things- happy things- to keep him going, one of Ragnor's happier looking glares, the feel of Catarina's head against his chest and her arms wrapped around him in a hug, and of course Alec. Alec smiling, and Alec blushing, and the blue of his eyes, and the black of his hair, and how pure he was compared to all of this.

He had to keep fighting for them.

In whatever way that he could.

* * *

An endarkened woman walked in with plates of food- gruel, soupy and gray-looking, for Magnus and Luke and a bottle of blood for Raphael- she placed it on the floor before turning and walking away.

Magnus didn't move, his stomach was one of the many places of his body that was paining him, and he didn't think food could solve it. Besides, he was vaguely suspicious that Sebastian had drugged the it, or poisoned it, or perhaps both.

Raphael though, grabbed the bottle of blood and drank from it hungrily until the liquid ran out of the corners of his mouth.

"Now, now, Raphael," Came a familiar voice and the figure of Sebastian Morgenstern appeared in the doorway.

It was still astonishing seeing how much he looked like Valentine when he was that age- almost an exact copy. But Sebastian was obviously the worst of the two evils. He practically radiated malicious intent, his skin constantly buzzing with his dark energy.

"Where's Jocelyn?" It was Luke who had spoken. "_Where is_ _she_?"

Sebastian laughed. That was a big difference between him and his father. The man had never been able to laugh easily.

"She's fine, just fine, by which I mean she's still alive. Which is the best you can hope for, really."

"I want to see her." Luke demanded.

"Hmm," Sebastian said, as if considering it but Magnus knew what his answer would be even before the boy opened his mouth. "No, I don't see the advantage in it to me."

"She's your mother. You could be kind to her." Luke continued on as if trying to reason with the young Shadowhunter would actually work if he kept it up long enough.

"It's none of your business, dog." Sebastian was quick to snap back at the older werewolf. It was the closest that Sebastian had ever come to sounding like the boy that he truly was underneath all of the timeless evil. "You, with your hands all over my mother, making Clary believe you're her family-"

"I'm more of her family than you are," said Luke. Magnus shot him a warning look but it was not before Sebastian's skin paled and his finger's twitched toward his weapons belt.

"Don't," Magnus' voice was low but he tried to push past the dryness of his throat and speak louder, "You know that if you touch Luke, Clary will hate you. Jocelyn too."

The Shadowhunter drew his hand away from his sword with only bit of hesitation and spoke, "I never said that I intended to harm her."

"No, just hold her hostage," Magnus said. "You want something from Clary and Jace don't you? You might not care about the Clave, but you do care about what your sister thinks of you. She and I are very close by the way."

"You're not that close. I'm hardly going to spare the life of everyone she's ever met. I'm not that crazy."

"You seem very crazy," said Raphael who had been silent up until that point.

Magnus opened his mouth to stop the vampire from speaking anymore. Angering Sebastian would not be a smart idea- one never knew what he would do.

But Sebastian didn't seem angry, he just regarded Raphael with a considering look before saying, "Raphael Santiago. Leader of the New York clan-or aren't you? No, it was Camille who held your position, and now the little mad girl. That must be frustrating for you."

"Raphael," Magnus said and tried to lean forward, to catch the vampire's eye, but his chains pulled tight and he winced at the pain in his wrists. He didn't know where Sebastian was going with this but it couldn't be good.

Raphael was sitting back on his heels, there was no change or shift in his expression to indicate that he had heard Magnus. His eyes were focused only on the Shadowhunter in front of him.

"I do not see why you are saying any of this." Raphael said simply.

"You can't say that I have mistreated you more than your vampire leaders. I've fed you, haven't put you in a cage," The boy smiled suddenly, "You all know that I am going to win. And on that day, I'll be happy to make sure that you, Raphael, will rule all the vampire in North America if you so wish. All I need is for you to bring the other Night's Children to my side. The Fair Folk already have and they _always_ choose the winning side. Shouldn't you?"

Raphael rose to his feet. "That seems reasonable," he said, "I shall join you."

Magnus' stomach turned and it felt like he was going to be sick all over himself. "Raphael, you have truly lived down to my lowest expectations of you."

Magnus couldn't remember a time when he had ever felt so betrayed and disappointed and angry all at the same time. This was the boy that he had been charged with saving all those years ago. The boy that had had so much honor and strength and determination. He couldn't find that boy in the person that was currently standing before him now.

Raphael snorted, "I am well quit of you idiots, flopping about this cell, whining about your friends and lovers. You are weak and have always been weak-"

"I should have let you walk into the daylight," Magnus couldn't even recognize the sound of his own voice, it was so cold.

Raphael flinched- it was barely a movement, but Magnus saw it and it was obvious that Sebastian did too from the way that his black eyes intensified.

The Shadowhunter's hand went to his belt and drew a knife that had a thin and narrow blade from it. He flipped the blade in his hand and offered it to Raphael hilt first. "Take it."

Raphael reached out a hand and did as he was told, it dangled loosely in his grip. Vampires didn't have much use for weapons.

"Good," Sebastian said, "Now let us seal our agreement in blood. Kill the warlock."

If Magnus had felt sick before-it was nothing compared to now. It was not just a feeling that was in his stomach, but pain ran up his spine, settled in his chest, and fogged up his head. The constant whispering in his ears was no longer whispering- it was one step away from full on screaming. It was loud and painfully distracting and he actually surprised himself by not reacting.

But he was so concentrated on not reacting- so concentrated on not giving into his father even when things were looking a bit hopeless-that he completely missed the conversation that was happening outside of his head.

He only tuned back in when he saw Raphael take a step toward him.

Magnus watched the vampire approach him with a strange kind of detachment as if he was experiencing things from the other side of a screen. He had been so close to death on so many occasions that he was no longer afraid of it. It was something that intrigued him actually- the one place that he had never been, the one experience that was yet unlived.

The tip of the knife touched his neck. Raphael's hand shook and the blade nicked the hollow of Magnus' throat.

"That's right," Sebastian said with a truly feral grin on his face as if he couldn't wait to see Magnus bleed out at his feet. "Cut his throat. Let the blood run out over the floor. He has lived too many years."

Magnus supposed that he couldn't argue with that. He had been alive for many centuries. But in that moment his mind went and grabbed onto a person that he had found after all these long years of life that he loved like no other.

His mind went to Alec.

He remembered telling the boy that he needed to live, that he needed to come back. That had to go both ways right? And thinking of Alec's blue eyes and steady smile, he couldn't just sit back and wordlessly let his throat be slit.

He looked up at Raphael through his eyelashes. "You remember," he said in a low voice, so low he doubted Sebastian could hear him. "You know what you owe me."

"You saved my life," Raphael's voice was numb. "A life I never wanted."

This was true but that didn't erase the fact that Magnus had still done it.

"Show me you're serious, Santiago," Sebastian's voice interrupted them. "Kill the warlock."

Raphael's knuckles tightened on the hilt of the knife but he continued to speak to Magnus. "I have no soul, but I made you a promise on my mother's doorstep and she was sacred to me."

A promise that he would not forget that he owed Magnus his life. At the time, Magnus had thought nothing of it, told him that he was being ridiculous and brushed it off. But now, Magnus didn't think it was so ridiculous while he had a knife pressed to his throat.

"Santiago-" Sebastian started again.

"I was a child then. I am not now." Raphael stated before letting he knife clatter to the floor and turning to face Sebastian. "I cannot. I will not, I owe him debt from many years ago."

Magnus was able to relax slightly now that his life wasn't in immediate danger. The voices quieted and the pain receded until they were mere echos of what they were before.

But he was on guard again when Sebastian went still.

"You disappoint me, Raphael," The Shadowhunter picked up the fallen knife and turned over in his hand. "You disappoint me very much."

Then too swiftly for the eye to follow, Sebastian drove the blade into Raphael's heart and disappeared from the room.

Raphael collapsed to the ground and all Magnus could do was watch.

And there was Raphael dying again.

All Magnus could see was the boy that he had been tasked with saving all those years ago. Yes, he had been a pain in the ass and had continued to be so up until even now, but he was someone that didn't deserve this fate.

Magnus reared against his chains and they rattled but didn't move. The only thing he resulted in was causing more pain to surge through his bones.

He wanted to open his mouth and say something, _anything. _Not a spell, but perhaps words shouted at Valentine's evil son or parting words to the dying boy but before he could, the noise in his ears rose to the level of screeching.

_You can get revenge. _

And he was so out of it, so pained, and guard down after what had just occurred in front of his face that he found himself actually listening.

_We can get revenge._

His mind barely registered the use of 'we'. He just took it all in.

_All you need to do is call on me. _

Magnus' manacled hands went up to clutch his temples and his body bent in on itself. He managed to lie down and he ended up looking right into Raphael's glassy eyes.

He was gone.

Dead.

Just like that.

And that was enough to snap Magnus out of his state. At least for long enough to scream:

_Get out of my head._

But the screeching in his ears continued.

* * *

**A/N: What do you guys think? Worth the wait? **

**Make sure to follow, favorite and review! :* **

**-Alexandermylove**


	17. The Dream(s)

**A/N: Holy crap this is the fastest that I have updated in a while. I already have the epilogue written so I just need the chapter that comes after this one and this story will be done. It's so weird to be finishing after working on this for _months_. **

**I'm not sure how I feel about this chapter so make sure you tell me how you thought 'kay?**

* * *

Alec was terrified, a kind of terrified that numbed his mind but hurt his body- making every last nerve ending feel red and raw and exposed to the harsh elements. He supposed that he looked more or less okay on the outside which was good- he didn't need to weigh down everyone else with his pain.

That was how it felt, he felt so tightly wound and heavy with pain that it was almost as if he let go for a second he would explode, pieces of him spattering over everything before sinking through the floor and into the earth.

Magnus was being held by Sebastian and the angel only knew what was being done to him. He could be being tortured right now as they were just here going around and around in circles and coming up with nothing.

The only thing that was established was that Jace was all too willing to sacrifice himself in order to 'save them all' but there was no guarantee that giving Sebastian exactly what he wanted would solve anything. Besides, there was no way that Alec was going to let him go.

He did not care how many stairs he had to tackle Jace down, or even if he had to handcuff their wrists together, there was no way that Alec was going to loose another person that was important to him.

Not today.

Hopefully not ever.

* * *

_"The wishes of our hearts are weapons that can used against us. Fight, Alec. This isn't what you want, this dream. Demons don't understand human hearts, not well. They see as through distorted glass and show us what you desire, but warped and wrong. Use the wrongness to push yourself out of the dream. Life is loss, Alexander, but it's better than this."_

It felt like the world was cracking in half. Everything disappearing- his father, Max, Magnus-and revealing that they had in fact, been apart of his twisted dream world.

His knees hit the ground and his eyes snapped open. All around him was the gray landscape of what he assumed to be Edom.

He found himself jerking backward as he noticed something hovering over him, a demon whose body was compiled of dark black smoke with yellow eyes suspended in the darkness.

Alec fumbled for his bow and when his fingers locked onto it, automatically drew it back and let loose an arrow. The thing let out a roar as the arrow buried itself deep inside of it before vanishing.

He willed his heart to stop beating so frantically.

Their journey had barely even started and they had already journeyed into hell, spoken to the Sellie queen who had probably found a way to inform Sebastian that they were coming for him as soon as they had disappeared through the tunnel and this was the second time that he had killed.

It was hard to believe that just a few days ago, he had gotten Magnus back and they were going to start over on a new foot-their relationship stronger and better for it. It was hard to believe that just a few weeks ago, his family had been whole-he had all of his siblings and his parents and they were all alive and healthy and not broken. It was hard to believe that just a few months ago, he had never heard of the name Sebastian Morgenstern- didn't know that just hearing the name would fill him with hatred and disgust.

So much had happened in so little time and the knowledge of that wanted to rear up and swallow him whole.

But he had to get up. He had to be strong. He had to keep going, keeping moving.

Keep heading towards their destination because there was no other choice.

* * *

All Alec could see was blood. Dark red. The kind of red that stays with you for a lifetime and appears behind your eyelids whenever you blink.

His hands were covered in it. Soaked and dripping and shaking.

There was a wet cough beneath him and he tried to will the shaking hands to stop for long enough to apply pressure to the injured man's wound.

He felt a soft pressure at his wrist and an even softer voice croaking out, "Alec-"

Alec tried to blink back the tears that were burning his eyes and when they finally cleared the image beneath him still had not changed.

It was Magnus.

Magnus, who was so thin that it appeared as if he had not eaten since the last time Alec had seen him, his skin that was usually caramel and soft was now gray, cracked and covered in cuts. Some small and shallow, others a bit more deep and oozing with infection.

And then there was the really big one in his stomach that was causing him to bleed to death.

"Don't-" The boy's voice cracked, "Don't talk."

His chest was heaving and the tears were burning trails down his face and he was falling apart and was doing such a bad job at hiding it. He wanted to be strong for Magnus but he couldn't- he just couldn't. He was hurting as if he had been stabbed too.

"It's okay-" Magnus breathed out. He sounded way too calm for someone who was dying.

Alec was shaking his head. This wasn't okay, this would never be okay- he was-Magnus was- if he-

"You're going to be okay, Alec-"

"No Magnus-" But he couldn't continue. There was so much and so little time.

Magnus attempted to smile. It was small and bloody and probably hurt the warlock to preform the small act but he did it just for Alec and that made the pain in his chest rear up even more.

"I love y-" Magnus' body shuddered before stilling.

His eyes were still open, his eyes were still pointed in Alec's direction but they were no longer seeing him.

They would never see anything again.

* * *

Alec's eyes opened but he was surrounded by darkness.

His whole body hurt. He wasn't sure if it was because of the dream or if it was because of his injury.

He faintly heard voices above him. Jace and Izzy both sounding immensely relieved and his sister sounding like she was crying.

Why was she crying?

Because of him?

Again?

He searched through his memory, worked past the pounding pain in his head until he remembered and realized that yes- he was the reason behind this:

One second his _parabatai_ had been climbing up the statue of Johnathon Shadowhunter- reaching for the Skeptron and the next, the room had been filled with a loud earsplitting noise before demons had appeared- and a lot of them at that.

They had all fought hard, with arrows and blades and Izzy's whip but there was so many of them.

They had cut down a pretty decent amount before Izzy had tried to kill a demon but it ended up splitting in half instead of disappearing immediately like it was supposed to. Izzy was getting ready to raise her whip again but before she could, Alec,without even thinking about it, had knocked her out of the direct vicinity of the still twitching demon.

He loosed an arrow into one half of it but before he could get another nocked to take care of the second, it was sinking its teeth into his leg.

He had cried out at the fiery pain of demon poison being forced into his system, quickly spreading up his leg and moving into his hip. In that moment he had remembered the first time this had happened to him, with the greater demon Abandon- it had been no less pleasant that time.

He had hit the ground, colors and sounds mixing together and eventually becoming blackness.

And now he was here. He had no idea how it had happened, or even how he was still alive in this moment but he wasn't complaining.

His head was lifted and placed into Izzy's lap, his little sister running her fingers through his hair. He felt a calloused long fingered hand intertwining with his own and he knew that it was Jace.

"You yell at me all the time for wanting to sacrifice myself but you're no different." He could hear how strained Jace's voice sounded. Heard his shaky breaths every time the blond inhaled. He could hear Izzy trying to control her own ragged breathing as she tried to stop her quiet sobs.

It seemed that hurting his siblings was the only thing he had been doing since he and Magnus had broken up. He kept being a source of stress and worry and concern for both of them even when he wasn't trying to be.

He tightened his grip on his brother's hand as a way to placate him and he felt Jace doing the same in return.

"I'm sorry." He whispered.

Sorry for so much.

Sorry for not keeping it all in better.

Sorry for hurting you.

_Sorry for being weak._

"You need to be more careful, Alec. I can't loose you too." It was Isabelle this time. She had clearly worked past her anguish at almost losing him for long enough to scold him.

Alec wanted to be able to tell her that he wouldn't do it again-but he couldn't.

If he was able to do over the moment when he had pushed her out of the way, Alec would have done the same exact thing. Over and over again.

So many things were out of his control. This was the one thing he could do.

* * *

**A/N: So how was it? **

**I had a really hard time writing this (which is why you got 2 Magnus chapters instead) but I didn't want to completely skip over what Alec had to deal with too. **

**I diverged from the plot a little bit but I'm pretty sure that if Alec had had a chance to protect Izzy, even if it was at the cost of his own life, he would do it. **

**Hopefully this wasn't too terrible and you'll follow, favorite and review. **

**-Alexandermylove **


	18. The Meeting

**A/N: So this story just doesn't want to end! This was supposed to be the last chapter before the epilogue but it ended up getting too long so I'm splitting it. Unless I get lazy this story should be done- at the _very latest_ this Sunday. **

**I used some text from The Bane Chronicles &amp; CoHF in this.**

**This is written from both Alec and Magnus' pov! **

**Hope you like: **

* * *

_Good luck with one of the Angel's chosen, demons son. You think he will ever do anything but despise you, in his heart of hearts? He knows where you belong. We all know too. Your father will have you in the end. Someday your life here will seem like a dream, like a stupid child's game. Someday the Great Dark One will come and drag you down and down with us. _

Magnus woke up panting.

It hurt to breathe so hard and by this point he could not fully sit up.

It hadn't been his father's voice that had haunted his dreams this time. It had been a demon that had had summoned months ago: Elyaas.

The demon who had gotten slime and left behind a stench that Magnus hadn't been able to get out of his loft for days.

The demon who had told him that he would be here one day, and it turns out that the creature had been right. It was hard to remember his life on earth while his head was pounding and there was a constant whispering sound in his ears.

He was in his father's realm but he had yet to give in. That was something that he couldn't do. No matter how much it hurt to have the greater demon in his head- the pain would be nothing compared to what would happen if he actually decided to call upon his father.

He had to remind himself of that whenever he was hit by a particularly terrible bout of pain.

* * *

Most of the pain had passed since Alec had taken the blunt end of that demon bite. There was still a very vague throbbing in his calf that reared up every couple of steps, but besides from that he was fine.

Fine because of Simon.

Because he had used his vampire blood that had special healing properties to save his life.

He looked over at the boy as they ran up the staircase.

They had all been through so much since they had traveled to Edom together.

All of them had almost died multiple times over but they were finally at the end of this suicide mission. Alec still didn't know whether all of them would make it out of here alive but the only thing that he could focus on right now was that they were _so close_.

They were so close to finding Magnus that he could practically feel it in his bones. He hoped with his whole being that they would be able to find the warlock- alive and unharmed.

He willed his body to move faster.

* * *

There was a commotion outside of the cell. It was loud enough to cut through the whispering and make it stop for a moment.

"What's going on?" Magnus asked hoarsely. It hurt to talk but he had to.

"Light." Luke answered. "There's some kind of light pouring out of the keep- it's burning the mist way. I can see the plateau down below, and some of the Endarkened running around. I just don't know what caused it."

Magnus attempted to laugh but tasted metal in his mouth, "Come on. Who do you think?" Because it was so painfully obvious. There was only one group of people who would be so bravely idiotic as to travel to a demon realm and go against Sebastian Morgenstern of all people.

Luke looked at him. "The Clave?"

"The _Clave_?" Was this man truly clueless? "I hate to break it to you, but they don't care enough about us to come here. Your daughter, though, she does."

"Clary. No. She shouldn't be here."

"Isn't she always where she isn't supposed to be? And the rest of them. Her constant companions. My…" He didn't really know how to finish the sentence but it turns out he didn't have to because at that moment-the door burst open.

Magnus tried to sit up but couldn't, and fell back on to his elbows. He was filled with a vague sense of annoyance at his shortcoming. Whoever was at the doorway- he would have liked to be able to see them before they were quite literally standing right next to him.

He heard voices (real ones): Luke, exclaiming, and then others.

A face swam into view, hovering over his, eyes like stars in a pale sky.

There was-there was-his angel-his love-his Alec.

Magnus exhaled- for a moment he no longer felt sick, or afraid of dying, or even angry or bitter. Relief washed over him and he reached up to brush the cheek of the boy leaning over him with the back of his bruised knuckles.

Alec's eyes were huge and blue and full of anguish. He looked older- new lines carved into his face that told stories of all the struggles that he must have went through in order to get here. Magnus wanted to run his hands and fingers and lips over those lines and spend years hearing those stories over and over again but all he could do was stare. Stare at this person that he had wished to see so much and had finally appeared due to some magic that Magnus would never be able to recreate.

Elyaas and his father had tried to convince him that Alec didn't love him or that the Shadowhunter secretly despised him and would eventually condemn him but that didn't seem possible in the moment. How could Alexander possibly hate him when he had traveled so long and so far just to get to him?

"Oh, my Alec," he said. "You've been so sad. I didn't know."

* * *

And there was Magnus looking both better and worse than Alec had expected.

On the good side- he wasn't dead, he was awake, and breathing, and _alive_. But on the other hand- even though he was alive, it was just barely. He looked so different from the last time they had seen each other. Magnus was usually full of life, laughing and smiling and commanding attention- but now he was small. He looked bony and underfed, cheeks starting to sink in, and his eyes looked glassy and half lidded as if he wasn't really seeing anything.

"Magnus," Alec said desperately, reaching to feel the _adamas _chains, sunk deep into the floor, that connected to the manacles on the warlock's wrists. "Are you alright? Are you hurt?"

He held out a hand to touch Magnus' face. It was dry and cracked but at least it was real and solid beneath his fingers-which was more than he could say a few days ago.

"Hold still." Alec drew back slightly to retrieve a seraph blade from his belt.

He named it quickly and brought it down hard on the _adamas _chain, which splintered under the touch of the knife. Alec dropped the blade to the floor and reached forward to take Magnus by the shoulders and help him up.

But before he could-Magnus was reaching for him and instead of standing he was pulling the Shadowhunter down and against him. Alec braced his hands on either side of Magnus' head so that he wouldn't fall on top of him and injure him further but he did allow the warlock to lead his face downward until their lips touched. And then they were kissing.

It was hard and slightly awkward in the position that they were in but neither of them minded because they were kissing and it was something that had seemed would never be able to happen again.

* * *

Finally, Magnus drew back. He let his head fall onto Alec's shoulder and encircled his arms around the Shadowhunter, keeping them close together. Magnus never wanted to let go of him, never wanted to be parted from the familiar blue eyes that reminded him of home and the strong, safe arms that fought off the voices in his head.

"Alec…" He began softly but he was sure that the boy could still hear him.

"Yes?" Alec said almost immediately.

"Are you being chased?"

"I-ah- some of the Endarkened are looking for us." He replied carefully.

"Pity," Magnus said, closing his eyes again. He breathed in and smelled the scent of dirt and sweat, blood and ichor, freshly applied runes and the smallest- so small it might have been in his head- whiff of sandalwood. It was Alec and he had missed it so much. In his musing, he found himself voicing the thing that he wanted now more than ever:

"It would be nice if you could just lie down with me here. Just...for a little while."

But then Isabelle was there-Magnus hadn't even known that she was also in the cell- reminding them that what he wanted wasn't possible just yet. That the world could very well be ending in this very moment as they sat there.

"Can you stand?" Alec asked him gently, and Magnus nodded, letting Alec lift him to his feet.

He was able to stand for all of ten seconds before his knees decided to give up on him and he collapsed forward, falling into a coughing fit that sent fire raging through his chest.

Alec tried to throw himself down by the warlock's side but Magnus waved him away because really-what was the use?

He struggled up to his knees and said what needed to be said, "You should go without me. I'll just slow you down."

* * *

The pain of the demon bite was nothing compared to the pain that was beginning to rear up in Alec's heart.

But he tried to ignore it and focus on the task at hand, he furrowed his eyebrows. "What happened to you? What did he do?" Because Alec had never seen Magnus like this- not even when he had almost been killed by Amatis, so it had to be Sebastian's doing.

Magnus shook his head wordlessly; it was Luke who answered: "This dimension is killing Magnus. There's something about it-about his father- that's destroying him."

Alec glanced at Magnus with, he was sure, was a million questions in his eyes. Dying? His father? But the warlock man only shook his head again.

The Shadowhunter wanted to get upset- wanted to be angry because Magnus still refused to tell him things- but he couldn't. This was not the time or the place for those kinds of emotions.

"The rest of you to find Jocelyn. I'll stay with Magnus." The words flowed from his lips without him having to think them through first. He had not traveled all this way, into a completely different _realm _just to end up leaving Magnus behind. The mere thought was incomprehensible to him.

"We'll head toward the center of the keep. When you find her, come looking for us there."

Isabelle looked the same way he felt. As if the thought of leaving behind her brother was also incomprehensible. "Alec-" She started but he was quick to cut her off.

"Please, Izzy." And it must have been something about the way his voice sounded or the way his face looked but they actually left.

Isabelle granted them one more look glance over her shoulder but soon, even she was gone- disappearing through the doorway.

He turned back to Magnus once they were alone, "Here," He said as gently as he could and reached down to lift the older man up.

Magnus stumbled to his feet and Alec managed to get one of the warlock's long arms slung over his shoulder.

"Hold on to me." Alec said and Magnus gave him a truly heartbreaking smile.

"I always do, Alexander," he replied. "I always do."

Alec forced himself to beat down the anguish wanting to overcome his body and started to lead them through the doorway.

* * *

"The walls are closing in," Magnus said after they had been walking for quite some time.

Alec tried to pull Magnus further upright; the warlock slumped heavily against him, his head almost touching Alec's shoulder.

If Alec was being honest with himself- he had no idea where they were going. He had started out with a pretty good sense of idea the general direction they had to head in but now- all the walls looked the same to him and all of the turns they took seemed to lead them back to the same place.

Not that he wanted to tell this to Magnus. The warlock was doing badly enough as it was- his breathing ragged and shallow, his heartbeat rapid.

"Everything's fine," Alec soothed, running his hands up the man's back once,"We just have to make it to-"

* * *

"Alec," Magnus focused on making sure that his voice sounded firm and lucid and nothing like he was imagining things. "I am not hallucinating." Because he knew what it was like to see and hear things that weren't there and this was not what it felt like. "The walls are moving." He insisted.

Alec stared as the walls and the Shadowhunter finally seemed to see what he was seeing.

The walls shimmered and trembled. The floor warped as the walls began to slide toward each other, the corridor narrowing from one end like a trash compactor slamming closed. Magnus found himself slipping as the floors shifted beneath his feet and he ended up hitting the closest wall.

Pain spread throughout his side and for a second the voices in his ears reared up loud and painful before quieting again when Alec seized his arm and pulled Magnus toward him.

"Sebastian," Magnus gasped out as Alec began to drag him down the hall again. "He's doing this."

"How would that even be possible? He doesn't control everything!" There was a slight panicked edge to Alec's voice.

"If he sealed the borders between the dimensions-he could control this whole world."

* * *

**A/N: Hopefully I didn't muck this up too badly and you like it enough to ****follow, favorite, and review! **

**Oh and if any of you also read my story, The Kiss Chronicles, make sure to go to my profile and vote for what kind of kiss you want to read about in the next chapter! **

**-Alexandermylove**


	19. The End

**A/N: Holy crap. This journey that I've been on since April has been amazing. This was my first fanfic that I ever started and now it's finally coming to an end. **

**This is the last chapter before the epilogue and I hope all of you enjoy it. **

**I had to use some of Cassie's heartbreaking dialogue and I'll admit that I cried while writing this so prepare yourselves. **

**I'll see you at the end **

* * *

"Hail, master."

That was what Clary had said right before she stabbed her brother in the chest.

And now he was dead.

Alec and Magnus had stumbled around the constantly changing hallways until they had reached a door. When he had opened it and led Magnus in- they had immediately been greeted by the sound of Sebastian's voice.

To say that he was surprised by what he had seen in the room was an understatement. Clary with Sebastian, Jace looking like he was on the verge of dying in Izzy's lap. It didn't make sense to him- sure, he and Clary might have had their differences but he knew she would never betray them. Never betray her best friend, mother, and _Jace_.

He just knew.

And he had been right.

After having to kneel to their 'king' and 'queen' and having the paths between this world and their own closed, Sebastian had demanded a kiss...and Clary had stabbed him instead.

The Endarkened warriors collapsed around them and moments later Clary had descended down the stairs and told them that her brother- Valentine's son- was dead.

It was almost impossible to believe.

After all the pain he had caused, after all of the suffering, and loss, and tears... Sebastian was dead.

Alec wanted to feel relief, he wanted to feel happy, but he just felt tired. It had been a long and terrifying journey but now it could finally come to an end.

The only problem being- they had no way to get home.

That was until Magnus let something slip-

"You said there was no way for _us _to do it, meaning there might be someone who could." Alec insisted.

And Magnus looked at him with an expression completely unguarded. His face was still young but his eyes spoke of the centuries that separated them. "There are worse things than death."

Alec furrowed his eyebrows, " Maybe you should let us be the judge of that."

"Dear God. Alexander, I have gone my whole life without ever taking recourse to this path, save once, when I learned my lesson. It is not a lesson I want the rest of you to learn."

"But you're alive. You lived through the lesson," That had been Clary.

They had gone back and forth a bit more but Magnus had lost. Alec would have done anything to take the look of utter despair off of his love's face but the thing that was upsetting the warlock was the only choice that they had besides dying here.

Before he could say anything, Magnus was drawing himself up, drawing his hands together, as if he was praying, and closed his eyes.

"My father-" Magnus started and Alec couldn't help himself from drawing in a sharp breath of air. Magnus' father that the warlock was so adamant to never talk about was their only way to get out of here?

Magnus continued: "_My father, who art in Hell, unhallowed by thy name. Thy kingdom come, thy will be done, in Edom as it is in Hell. Forgive not my sins, for in that fire of fires there shall be neither loving kindness, nor compassion, nor redemption. My father, who makes war in high places and low, come to me now; I call as your son, and incur upon myself the responsibility of your summoning." _

Alec was sure that his eyes were probably bulging out of his head. He opened his mouth to speak and the only thing that he could get to come out was, "By the Angel-"

And he was quickly cut off, "No. _Definitely _not by your Angel."

He turned his head in the direction of the voice and was greeted by the sight of a pale, tall man, in a white suit. His eyes were golden-green with slitted pupils like a cat's.

Just like Magnus'.

"Father-" Alec could hear the sorrow in the warlock's voice, "You came."

The man smiled. "My son. It has been a long time since you called on me. I was beginning to despair that you never would again."

"I hadn't planned to." Magnus replied dryly.

"You wound me," The man responded before turning away from Magnus and facing the rest of them, "I am Asmodeus. One of the Nine Princes of Hell. You may know my name."

The man- Asmodeus- continued speaking but Alec couldn't really hear what he was saying. He was too distracted by trying to take in what he had just learned.

This was- this was Magnus' _father. _

Magnus was the son of one of the Princes of Hell?

He turned to Magnus and the older man looked back but Alec had no idea what to say. The fact didn't change how he felt about Magnus- of course he would love the warlock no matter what, he just couldn't think of any words that he could say in this situation.

The demon talked some more, speaking to both of his siblings before Magnus took control of the conversation again.

"Let's cut back to the business part of this. You can open a door, correct? Send us back to Idris, back to our world?"

"Would you like a demonstration?" The demon flicked his fingers toward the dais and both of Clary's parents disappeared. There was a slight shimmer of the air before they both simply winked out of existence.

"I sent them back to your world. Now you know. You got the first two for free. The rest, well, it'll cost you." He looked at all of them before examining his nails as if he found them extremely boring.

"I know what you want," Magnus said in a strained voice that seemed to catch his father's attention because the demon looked at the warlock with vaguely hidden hunger. "And you can have it," Magnus continued, "But you must swear by the Morning Star to send all my friends back to Idris, all of them, _and _never bother them again. They will owe you _nothing_."

Alec's eyebrows furrowed again because Magnus' words weren't making any sense. He had told his father to send back his friends but he had made sure to not mention himself. Was Magnus...not coming back?

Alec stepped forward so that he was close enough to reach out to the warlock, "Stop. Magnus what do you mean, what he wants? Why are you talking like you're not coming back with us?"

"There is a time," said Asmodeus, "when we must return to live in the houses of our fathers. Now is Magnus' time."

Alec remembered a quote that he had heard a long time ago, in what almost seemed like another lifetime, one with Max and his parents but without Magnus or Clary and Simon:

_In my father's house are many mansions _

Clearly Jace remembered it also because he was speaking before Alec could formulate his thoughts, "Magnus, he can't mean- he doesn't want to take you back with him? Back to-"

"To Hell? Not precisely," Asmodeus said and Alec felt a tiny bit of relief because that was exactly what he had been thinking. "As Magnus said, Edom is my realm and it takes a lot of energy to fuel one. We draw the power from many things but there is a time when life must fuel us. And immortal life is the best of all."

The man had barely finished speaking before Alec was moving, using his body to act as a barrier between Magnus and his father, and he wasn't the only one- the others had also all moved to do the exact same thing.

Asmodeus laughed. "Delightful. Look at them Magnus, these children who love and want to protect you! Who would have thought it! When you are buried, I will make sure they inscribe on your tomb: _Magnus Bane, beloved of Nephilim._"

Alec could hear his heart beating loudly in his ears as well as painfully in his chest. Before he had left to go to Idris, before all of this had happened, he had told Magnus that there was no force on earth that could keep them away from each other- he didn't care that they were no longer on earth or that they were all exhausted and trying to go up against a Prince of Hell-there was no way that he would let Magnus do this.

"You will not touch him," Alec was sure that his voice was like ice. It matched the way he felt on the inside. "Maybe you've forgotten what it is we do, we Nephilim, but we _kill demons_. Even Princes of Hell."

"Oh, I know well what you do." The demon seemed unconcerned, "I do not plan to kill Magnus. It is his life freely given I want, for the life of an immortal is power and it will help me fuel my kingdom."

Alec turned around to look at Magnus. The warlock was scowling but he met Alec's eyes with his golden green ones. The younger boy felt like they would bore holes through his own.

"He wants to take your immortality?" Alec asked him.

"Exactly." Magnus answered simply.

"But- you'd survive? Just not be immortal anymore?" Wasn't that what they needed? Alec hadn't wanted to take Magnus' immortality away when he had gone to Camille but now- now there was a way. A way to be together. A way that would mean that Alec wouldn't have to leave Magnus like he had been left so many times before.

It sounded too good to be true.

Too simple.

"My immortality would be gone. All of the years of my life would come on me at once. I would be unlikely to survive it. Almost four hundred years is quite a lot to take, even if you moisturize regularly."

And of course it was too good to be true.

"You can't." He couldn't ask Magnus to do this for them. There was no way that he could live with himself knowing that Magnus had had to die. "He said 'a life given willingly.' Say no."

_Please say no. _

"I can't say no, Alexander. If I do, we all remain here; we'll die anyway."

"Fine-" Alec could barely hear himself over the beating of his heart in his ears but he continued, "There isn't any one of us who would give up your life to save ours."

Alec knew he was right. He was positive of that fact. And when Magnus looked at all of their friends behind them- Alec saw the warlock's face change as he realized it to be true too.

Magnus turned back to face him, "I've lived a long time. So many years, and no, it doesn't feel like enough. I won't lie and say it does. I want to live on- partly because of you, Alec. I have never wanted to live so much as I have these past few months, with you."

Alec could have sworn that he felt and heard his heart breaking. He could barely hear anything over the sound.

"We'll die together then. Let me at least, stay with you." Because he couldn't- there was no way he could go back if he didn't have Magnus with him. They had been through so much- things were finally starting to look up for them and now-

"You have to go back. You have to go back to the world." Magnus sounded just as heartbroken as he felt.

"I don't want the world," Alec was shaking his head and trying to blink away the burning feeling in his eyes. There was no way he could cry- not right now, "I want you."

Magnus closed his eyes as if it hurt him to hear those words.

It definitely hurt to say them.

"You can't stay with me." Magnus said after a moment of silence. "There will be no _me; _the demon will take my life force, and my body will crumble away."

Alec couldn't imagine that happening to Magnus. He couldn't imagine someone so bright and vibrant and colorful, someone who was such an important part of his life no longer existing. Living in a world where he and Magnus were broken up had been hard enough- he didn't want to experience one where Magnus wasn't even _alive_.

"Get on with it, my boy," Asmodeus interrupted them and Alec had never felt such an intense hatred toward anyone before he had met this demon. This creature that was so determined to ruin his life.

Magnus moved forward so that his ring clad hands rested on the Shadowhunter's shoulders. In his head- he knew that Magnus' touch was light, but it felt like there were two immense weights settled on his shoulders-it felt like he was going to sink straight through the floor.

Alec had to admit he wouldn't mind if that happened.

Magnus took a shaky breath before speaking, "I have to save you, Alec. You and everyone you love; it's a small price to pay, isn't it, in the end, for all of that?"

Alec could barely manage to whisper, "Not _everyone _I love."

And Magnus was leaning down, he rested his forehead against Alec's and also whispered, "I know, Alexander. I know."

And Alec closed the distance that was left between them and they were kissing. It was desperate and painful and neither of them wanted to let go.

Alec knew that if he let go, that it would be over-and he would never be ready for that.

This was the man he loved, the man that he would do anything for and in this moment- he could do nothing.

Nothing as Magnus stepped away from him and turned toward his father.

"All right." Magnus said and Alec wanted nothing more than to throw himself in front of Asmodeus and protect Magnus.

But he couldn't.

"All right," Magnus continued. "Take me. I give you my life. I am-"

And then something happened.

Alec had thought that Clary had saved them all. That she had made the ultimate sacrifice, dealt with the devil, and won in the end.

But she wasn't the only one.

Because before Magnus could finish speaking, someone else did before he could.

Someone no one had been expecting.

"I am willing."

The voice that had saved them all didn't belong to Magnus.

And the person who had payed the ultimate price wasn't Clary.

The voice had belonged to Simon.

* * *

**A/N: Since this is a story about Alec and Magnus I figured that I didn't really have to include the Sebastian/Jonathon thing in the beginning and Simon thing at the end- I felt like they would take away from what I was driving at here. **

**But anyway- thank you all so much for taking the time to read my story. Whether you've been around since I posted my first chapter back in April or if you started today, I am so _so_ grateful for all of you. **

**The epilogue will be posted tomorrow and don't worry- it will be _way _lighter than this chapter. **

**Don't forget to comment and favorite- hell maybe even follow so that you get the alert when I post the Epilogue. **

**-Alexandermylove ;* **


	20. Epilogue

**A/N: And here is the Epilogue: **

* * *

Alec's voice rang out, loud and clear and beautiful, filling up all the empty spaces and chasing away all the lingering darkness inside of him. Most of the pain had subsided and there were no longer voices in his ears. His father couldn't touch him here- Magnus planned on never calling on him again.

"You threw up on the Nazca Lines?"

Magnus found himself smiling just because Alec was. It was a sight that he would never grow tired of. He had managed to lose Alec before but he would make sure that it wouldn't happen again- he honestly had no idea what he would do without that smile.

"Well in my defense, love, I was very, _very _drunk!"

Alec simply laughed again, leaning his head against Magnus' shoulder and the warlock ran his ring clad fingers through the raven strands. They were curled up together on Magnus' bed in his council representative house. After Simon's sacrifice had managed to return them safely from Edom, they had immediately been whisked off to the hospital, then quarantine, and then council meetings with truly disastrous results- so he hadn't gotten one moment alone with his Shadowhunter.

A little bit tired and still recovering, Magnus had went back to his safe-house to lie down- he was going to have to make a portal to transport the entire New York conclave back and he didn't trust that he had enough energy or magic to do that yet- lest he try and have them end up in Peru.

He had just been about to fall into his bed when there was a knock on his door.

He went to answer it and lo and behold- there was his Shadowhunter. Beautiful, lovely, picking at his slightly ripped, too long sleeve with one hand, and the notebook that Magnus had given him in his other.

He looked up at Magnus with his too blue eyes and smiled. "Hi-"

Magnus smiled at the pure, innocent sight in front of him and reached out to hook his fingers into the lip of the boy's shirt to urge him closer.

"Hello to you too, Shadowhunter."

By the time he had reached the last word, their lips were barely an inch away. He wasn't exactly sure who had closed the distance, Alec or himself or maybe both of them at the same time but what he did know was that they were kissing and neither of them were injured or dying or under the threat of dying and it was amazing.

It was the most amazing feeling in the world.

And now they were in Magnus' temporary bed. Magnus had been hesitant about finally telling someone about his past at first. One could even say scared about sharing almost four years of pain and laughter and happiness and love and loss with another person.

But he realized now just how wrong he had been.

Every time Alec laughed, or furrowed his eyebrows, or looked up at him to ask a clarifying question, or smile, or press his beautiful lips to Magnus' skin, the older man found himself falling in love with his Shadowhunter more and more.

He didn't even know that was possible.

Magnus remembers sitting in his bed just a few weeks ago and writing the last words in the notebook that Alec was currently holding:

_Maybe Alexander Lightwood would not break his heart. _

They were not true. Not by a long shot.

Alec broke his heart in a subway tunnel, in a demon realm, whenever his blue eyes were pained, or wet with tears, or Magnus was forced to face the fact that the Shadowhunter would leave him one day just as all people eventually did.

Alec granted him so much happiness but he was also the source of Magnus' greatest sorrows.

He still did not know of a way to grant Alec immortality in a way that the boy would be okay with or turn himself mortal without dying. Yes, it would be hard- that was the price of falling in love with a Shadowhunter but it was worth it.

As he ran his fingers through the soft hair of his love- he knew that four hundred years- four hundred years of joys and sorrows meant nothing compared to what he had right now in this very moment:

Someone who was worth it.

Someone who made him experience love in a way that he never had before.

Someone he could be honest with.

* * *

**A/N: I had wanted it to be pure fluff but it came out more bitter-sweet. **

**What did you guys think of the last bit there with the title? I rewrote that part _multiple_ times and that was the one I finally settled on so hopefully you like it. **

**I still can't believe this is the end, that we've finally reached the last chapter but here we are. **

**Once again, thank you all for reading this, and supporting me, and your beautiful comments that keep me going. _I LOVE ALL OF YOU! _**

**I hope you'll continue to stick around and stand by me for my upcoming oneshots and multichapters too! **

**-Alexandermylove **


End file.
