Merlin 1. Chapter 1

**SUMMARY**: Set between S3 and S4. Gwaine finds out who his best friend really is after yet another attack on the knights while out hunting. Merlin puts his friends feelings first and Lancelot is not happy. No slash just friendship. Reveal fic of sorts although its probably more a post reveal tbh.

**This is my first fic ever! So I would like as many Reviews as possible to for feedback to see how it is and whether people think i should carry on with it. It should be about 3 or 4 chapters when its done, but im not sure as I need to type it all out still. Please review and follow. I don't have a beta and I am very impatient so I apologise if there are any mistakes. Enjoy!**

Merlin was exhausted. It had been a very long day. They had been hunting in the woods and had managed to attract trouble yet again. He had had to use his magic to save them again. And Arthur had not noticed again. He really was the most unobservant prat, not that he was complaining. Unfortunately, not everyone was as unobservant as him, not this time anyway. He supposed if he had to pick one of the knights to find out accidently it would have been Gwaine but it had been a nervous few minutes as they stared at each other trying to decide whether or not either of them was suddenly going to try to murder the other. Or at least that's what Merlin thought was going through Gwaines mind as he had looked hurt, confused, angry and scared all at the same time. When eventually Gwaine came to his senses by being clapped on the back by a very relieved that they had survived again Leon, it seems he had decided to let the matter slide. For now. As Merlin was packing the camp up and saddling the horses ready for everyone to get back to Camelot, because even though it was now becoming a regular occurrence for these knights it seemed that everyone still thought it best to get back to the citadel, Merlin heard the almost whispered "we'll take about this later" as Gwaine walked past to mount his horse.

Merlin had spent the next 2 hours in a very tense balance between being silent so as to not draw attention to himself, in case Gwaine suddenly changed his mind and he had to deal with everyone finding out, and trying hard to keep up any banter coming his way so as, again, not draw attention to the fact anything was wrong. By the time he had got back to Camelot and was securing the horses in the Kings stables he was, as previously mentioned, exhausted. And however much he wanted to believe the small voice in his head that told him, as he saw Gwaine dismount and walk away as if nothing had happened, that this was over, he was sure this was not the end of it.

As he made his way up to Arthurs chambers to help the Prince change out of full armour, he was caught half way by said Prince and dragged with him to the throne room for an audience with the King. Merlin had been terrified, trying to squirm out of Arthurs reach until he realised that Arthur had meant that he, Arthur, had an audience with the King to inform him of the attack, not that he, Merlin, had an audience with the King because Gwaine had decided to tell everyone after all.

It was a long time later that, after he had seen to all the Princes needs and brought his supper, he returned to Gaius' chamber hoping to get some advice as to how to deal with Gwaine when he remembered that Uther had said that Gaius had been sent to a local village to deal with an outbreak of an illness that the King had no intention of letting get to Camelot. He stopped outside the chambers, annoyed with himself at forgetting that, and wondering if there was anyone else he could talk to that might be able to help. He briefly thought of Lancelot but decided against it as Lancelots chambers in the knights wing was way too close to Gwaines for comfort and he wanted to avoid this meeting as long as possible.

He entered the main chamber, walking across to put his bags in his room, he nearly made it to the steps up to his door when he realised he wasn't alone. Spinning round, and nearly knocking many potions and vials Gaius had obviously been working on off the table, he spotted Gwaine. Standing by the Fire, which he realised had been lit. By who? Not important Merlin. He looked at Gwaine standing there watching him and was so very unsure as to what he was supposed to do now. As Gwaine was making it quite clear he was expecting Merlin to be the one to break the silence.

"You lit the fire?"

What? Really? Out of all the opening lines you went for that? Stupid Merlin, Stupid!

"It was cold" Well at least Merlin wasn't the only one stating the obvious. And seemingly ignoring the whole reason both of them were standing here staring at each other in silence.

Then all of a sudden, Gwaine broke. Words started streaming from him as if he had all the time in the word to think of questions and only a minute to say them all.

"You have magic? I mean I know you have magic, I saw you. You used magic? Why? I mean I know why you saved Arthur, but why? I mean he is a Prat you keep saying so and yet you saved him? Why didn't you tell me? Does anyone else know? How long have you had magic? Or practiced it or whatever you're supposed to call it? I mean I get it if you're only just starting to learn it, that would make sense as I mean you didn't tell me and you would have told me right? Of course 'cause I'm your friend, and you trust me, I mean well I trust you. I assume you trust me and if you only started learning it then of course you wouldn't tell anyone. I mean you'd want to be able to actually do something before you go around telling people you have magic. HA. But I mean why? We're in Camelot! Gods merlin you're so stupid! I know Arthur calls you an idiot but really! It's punishable by death! Only death! Why would you suddenly start learning magic for?"

"er…." Merlin paused not quite sure where to start after firstly being surprised at Gwaines thought process and obvious lack of menace towards him. He was elated. Gwaine didn't hate him for his magic! But then as the questions progressed he had started to wince at the words. Gwaine believed he would have told him, that if he hadn't then he obviously didn't trust him. Then as the subject turned to the inevitable its punishable by death Merlin had lost any coherent or calming argument and the silence stretched once again between them.

After a moment. "ER! ER, is that it? That's all you're going to give me!" Gwaine was not happy and his voice was getting alarmingly loud and it was his worry about other people hearing that finally spurred him into speech.

What felt like years later, Merlin was lying, yes, exhausted on his bed. Having spent the last few hours answering all, or at least most of, Gwaines questions. About his magic, when he'd used it, how many times he'd saved them all, how many times he'd saved Arthur, how stupid Arthur was that he had never noticed. But the one thing that had seemed the most important thing to Gwaine, and that Merlin had kept repeating, saying how hard it was to explain and talk about it was that he had never told anyone in Camelot about his magic. He had explained that he had obviously had to tell other sorcerers that he had magic to stop them from attacking but apart from people of magical origin, he had never actually TOLD anyone of his magic and that it was extremely hard to do. He had explained as well that obviously some people found out, as was bound to happen with people he was so close to, like his mother and Gaius. But he had never told anyone.

And Gwaine had eventually decided that Merlin having told him was an achievement, even though he had found out himself. And had thus declared he had to celebrate in the tavern. Merlin only just managing to decline and get Gwaine to leave of his own after promising he would never tell a soul was now exhausted lying on his bed finally drifting off to sleep. He was completely unaware of the problems his now very drunk friend was causing across town in a very crowded, very public tavern. You see the problem with Gwaine was that he was a VERY honest drunk.


	2. Chapter 2

**Okay, second chapters up. This is a bit shorter than the last one but I thought I would split it here as it makes more sense that way. This will probably end up to be more like 5 chapters now.**

**Thanks for those who reviewed the last one. Hope I get more reviews now you know more where its heading. Please Review and follow :) Tell me what you think!**

Gwaine woke up the next day with a splitting headache. I mean really the worst headache ever! He wasn't sure exactly how much ale he had but then again he never really was sure, all he knew was that it was definitely a lot more than he normally had.

He lay there refusing to move and trying really hard not to think. Thinking needed brain power and he was not about to make his headache worse on purpose if he could help it. Though, as normal, life was against him. He remembered he had training this morning and that he would eventually have to get himself down to it. Which led him to think about why he was in this situation in the first place. He didn't normally drink when he had knights training in the morning, well not lots, as all that clanging of armour and clashing of steel was enough to give a sober man a headache. As he started to think about getting up for training and much to the annoyance of his pounding head, his memories of the previous day started to come flooding back.

The hunting trip they had been attacked on and merlin saving them, returning to Camelot, Merlin confiding in him about his magic. Gwaine smiled despite himself, realising if anyone had walked in just then he would have looked half-crazy with his hangover and wide grin. But he couldn't help it, Merlin had trusted him. Trusted him above everyone else, all the other knights, Gwen, even Arthur! Not that anyone would want to tell the King of a kingdom against magic that they had magic but still, it felt good. Merlin was his first and truest friend and it was a nice feeling knowing that he trusted Gwaine above everyone else. It was difficult sometimes, knowing Merlin had so many people he called friends when Gwaine didn't and never had. Merlin was Gwen's best friend, Arthurs though he'd never admit it, Lancelot's best friend, hell half the castle were friends with Merlin. But he, Gwaine, was Merlin's BEST friend and that, for some reason, meant the world to him. Enough so that, even through this wretched headache, he got himself up and ready for training.

Gwaine walked out onto the training field ten minutes later with that same happy feeling still, that was until he saw the knights. Well the 'knights of the roundtable' anyway. Percival, Elyan, Lancelot, Leon and Arthur were all standing of to the side near the weapons stands glaring and laughing at him in equal measure, though some were glaring more than laughing. He walked anxiously over not understanding what he had done this time to make them act like this.

Sometimes after he got really drunk the night before they would mock and laugh at him in this way but that didn't add up. What were the glares for? Had he run up a massive tab in Arthurs name or something? But no, that didn't add up either as Arthur wasn't the only one with a glare. Leons somewhat less intense glare could be explained away, Leon never had liked Gwaine getting drunk all the time, add on to that the fact that Leon was normally the one that was called to get Gwaine back to his chambers at an ungodly hour and Leons glare was normal. He thought he should probably thank Leon for getting him back to his chambers. But Lancelots glare didn't fit that picture.

As Gwaine approached, Elyan and Percival both broke into what appeared to be yet another round of hysterics while Leon and Arthur were both now chuckling under their breath. Leon was the first to speak as Elyan and Percival both tried to compose themselves.

"I nearly refused to come and get you this time Gwaine but the stories I heard made it sound like you were well past your limit. Which is saying something." He said trying to hide the amusement in his voice.

At this Elyan and Arthur both shared a highly amused look that told Gwaine that he was not going to live what ever happened last night down anytime soon.

"Did you have fun Gwaine?" Elyan started "Was the ale feeding your imagination?"

Arthur broke in at this, "I mean really Gwaine, of all the people you could accuse of having Magic you chose _Mer_lin?" At this, Gwaine sudden felt all his breath leave him. Arthur kept chuckling to himself oblivious to the effect his words were having, he turned to pick up a sword from the rack to return to training the knights who actual were working. Saying as he left "I bet I have more magic in me than that bumbling idiot, he couldn't even turn up to work today!"

Gwaine felt like Arthur had just punched him in the gut. His world was spinning as memories from the night before began swirling round his head, dancing round the tavern shouting about merlin being the most powerful man in Camelot and making up stories about him having a dragon for a friend and being undefeatable, though these were not strictly true he had thought at the time any friend of merlin was a friend of his and if he had such powerful friends then he was untouchable. As his memories subsided he vaguely realised Elyan, Leon and Percival were all still chuckling at him so he made an effort to join in, desperately hoping that he could smooth this over without anyone being any the wiser. Even while a small voice in his head repeated the last part of Arthurs words "_he couldn't even turn up for work today!". _Merlin must already know. Already know that within hours of Gwaine promising never to tell a soul he had told a tavern full of strangers. Guilt overwhelmed Gwaine then and just as these feelings were swirling through his head he caught Lancelots gaze. Or should he say glare.

Because Lancelot was glaring at him as if he had just told the world his biggest secret. And that was when it all made sense. Arthur was glaring at him for being Gwaine, Leon was glaring at him because he had had to leave the sanctity of his own bed at god knows what hour to bring a drunk Gwaine home and Lancelot was glaring at him because Gwaine had let _his_ best friends secret out. Merlin had lied to him, Lancelot knew. The noble and smart and clever and handsome and perfect Lancelot. Even he could hear the bitterness in his thoughts. Merlin had lied to Gwaine about the single most important thing he had asked him last night. The one thing that Merlin had to keep repeating _"I've never told anyone else Gwaine"_. LIAR! He had told Lancelot, the high and mighty, I'm better than Gwaine can ever be Lancelot. And Gwaine was mad.

Elyan, Percival and Leon had all started to wonder off towards the centre of the training fields as Lancelot said,

"I'll take training with Gwaine today" In an impression of a tired and bored voice as the others chuckled and strode away.

Elyan laughing a "Good luck" at him after glancing at the state Gwaine was in. It seems they had taken turns dealing with his drunken antics before, this only served to make him madder as he tried to push the embarrassment of being the drunken one down.

Gwaine watched as Lancelot grabbed a sword from the rack and beckoned him forward. Gwaine was mad when training started but it was nothing compared to the blind rage he felt by the time it was over. Percival and Leon had to drag him back to his chambers on a very angry Arthurs orders for having tackled a defenceless and unaware Lancelot to the ground after training had ended.


	3. Chapter 3

**Okay chapter 3 is up, sorry about the delay but i found this chapter quite hard to write and i'm still not completely happy with it but its much better than it was. And its about double the length of the other chapters, oops.**

**I have had some comments about spacing and getting a beta? Now i know what this is but am not sure about how to go about getting one but i am looking for a beta so if anyone wants to do it or wants to suggest someone who would then that would be great, i have tried to space it more so it is easier to read.**

**Read and review please, Does it all make sense? I wasn't sure who's perspective to go for but i went with Arthur in the end. Hope you all enjoy. and thanks for reading.**

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Arthur was pacing back and forth in his council chambers. He had called the round table members to a meeting to discuss what had happened and what will happen now…..

Now that Gwaine had attacked another Knight. A knight! Gwaine was not one for following protocol all the time but really, what kind of drunken idiot attacks a knight? It was against the knights code, heck, it was against the laws of Camelot. He would have to be punished.

But Gwaine wasn't just a knight, he was supposed to be one of his round table, one of his most trusted knights, friends. How could he do this to him? When they had worked so hard to get the kingdom to accept commoners as knights, Gwaine does something even more stupid than ever.

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No one had arrived yet apart from Gwen who had refused to leave Arthur alone since he had come fuming back to his chambers after training still in his armour. She had tried to figure out what had happened but Arthur was barely able to talk apart from random curses and broken sentences, all she had managed to get from him was that Gwaine had done something bad, and that somehow Lancelot was involved.

Arthur had sent a guard to find his useless servant, who had _still_ not turned up for work, and get him to the council chambers as soon as possible. He let Gwen help him out of his armour and they made their way over. Sir Leon had arrived minutes later announcing that Gwaine was being held in his room by Percival as he was still out of control. Arthur told him to call a meeting and have Percival bring Gwaine here with help from the castle guards.

It took another few minutes before the doors opened again, Gaius came shuffling in looking extremely worried. In Arthurs opinion too worried, he had told Leon to gather everyone but not why the meeting was being called. Of course the knights who had been at training would have guessed but Gaius, Merlin and Gwen would all have no idea what had happened and had no reason to be so worried.

"Arthur, what's happened?" Gaius glanced around quickly taking stock of who was in the room.

Arthur sighed, "Come and sit down Gaius, I want to wait till everyone is here before I start" he didn't want to have to repeat himself to everyone.

Speaking of everyone, Merlin should be here by now, he was one of the first people summoned. Arthur thought mildly that he had better not be in the tavern as he had enough of drunken antics to last the rest of the season.

"Gaius, where is Merlin?" Gaius looked up as if unsure how to answer, Arthur was just about to ask again when he heard noise coming closer to the doors. He stood from the round table as the doors were pushed open. The Guards stopped at the doors knowing they were not welcome at the meeting and let the others pass them.

Leon led the group with Gwaine looking angry but thankfully, a lot more subdued than he was earlier, with Percival behind him. They entered the room stopping a few feet in front of the round table where Arthur was standing.

"Sire, everyone has been called just as asked" Leon addressed Arthur adding "Gwaine came with out any trouble" As if he was worried where this was going and didn't want Gwaine to get in any more trouble than necessary.

Arthur noted this with interest, Sir Leon had been a knight longer than any of the others, he had been brought up on the knights' code almost. The fact he was willing to ignore Gwaines breeches of it brought home just how difficult this situation was for him.

Gwen and Gaius appeared at his side and he was just about to start talking when he realised that Merlin _still_ wasn't here. Arthur was getting a headache now, as if this wasn't difficult enough without having to chase around after his idiotic manservant as well.

Pinching the bridge of his nose he asked "Sir Leon, where is Merlin? He was called I assume?"

Leon looked behind him anxiously as if expecting Merlin to appear there suddenly

"Yes sire, he was. We met him on his way here sire, they were just behind us but…." He faded as if at a loss as to where he had gone. No wait, They, he had said they.

"They?" As he looked around he realised that Merlin wasn't the only one missing. And he realised what Merlin must be doing first.

"Yes sire, he was with Lancelot last time I saw."

Of course Merlin would be with Lancelot, they were close and if Merlin had heard what had happened his first reaction would be to check to see if his friend was alright. And as if just on time, Merlin walked through the open doors in a very low conversation with Lancelot, speaking urgently before Lancelot looked up and hurried forward to stand by the other knights.

"Sorry I am late, sire." He said glancing towards Gaius who had started to look even more worried.

At this he saw Gwaine glance back towards the doors at Merlin before looking back towards Arthur.

"Its fine, we have to start"

He shouted out to the guards at the doors to inform them to close the doors and not to let anyone disturb them. Turning back towards the Knights in front of him and glancing at Gwen. He began.

"What happened today down at the training grounds was unacceptable, it can never happen again. It should never have happened in the first place, Do you hear me Gwaine?" He looked at Gwaine then and was almost shocked into stopping.

The Gwaine that had arrived moments ago had been bristling with defiance and anger. Now, now when he looked at Gwaine all he saw was pain. Gwaine was looking at the floor in front of Arthur's feet, refusing to make eye contact with anyone. His brow was scrunched as if trying very hard to sort out a thousand thoughts that were flying through his head. He looked lost and confused and it was such a shocking difference that it left Arthur wondering what had happened in those few moments to change Gwaines attitude so much? It sure as hell wasn't _his_ angry words, Gwaine never listened to him and even if he did he never took the words Arthur said in anger to heart.

The last few minutes played through his mind and it hit him. It must have happened when Merlin and Lancelot had come in. He had seen Lancelot talking to Merlin and it must have made him feel bad about what he had done. That was it!

"You are a Knight of Camelot Gwaine" He continued, no matter how much Gwaine was regretting what he had done now, he had still done it and had to punished for it. "You broke the Knights Code, the laws of Camelot and you have to be punished for your actions."

Gwaine looked up at this, briefly locking eyes with Arthur before he lowered his gaze back to the floor. Arthur saw Leon and Percival look at each other over Gwaines head clearly worried about the sudden turn Gwaines mood had taken as well.

Gwen coughed lightly next to him, he had almost forgot that he and the knights weren't the only ones in the room.

"Arthur, what happened? You say he has done something wrong but I, we," she points towards Gaius who is looking bewildered next to her "don't actually know what has happened. I assume you called us all her for a reason, maybe you could fill us in first?"

She was watching Arthur carefully, judging her words before she spoke so Arthur could make up his mind about what he would do next.

"Yes of course Guinevere, sorry." He looked back towards the knights, his glance stopping on Lancelot before looking back to Gwen and Gaius, when he realised he didn't know where to start.

Leon spoke up first. He explained how Gwaine had turned up late for training after drinking at the tavern all night and how Lancelot had trained with him that morning. How after training had ended Gwaine had attacked Lancelot before the others could catch him. It was a very brief retelling and left out a lot of the cursing and shouting that had happened but that was not for a Lady's ears.

Gwen looked worriedly at Lancelot as this was being told but after a reassuring nod from him she relaxed knowing nothing serious had occurred.

After Sir Leon had finished his tale Arthur spoke.

"That is why we are here, This leaves me in an awkward position. You are, you all are, my trusted friends and advisors. You have all been with me through terrible times and stuck by me through all Morganas attacks. I knighted you, Gwaine, as I believed I could trust you, that even though you had no noble blood, I believed you along with the others would greatly benefit me and the kingdom you swore to protect. Even though you simply ignore some of the rules bestowed upon the knights you still keep up with all of your duties and protect the people of Camelot with all you have. But this, this is too far. This I cannot ignore. But I feel I cannot treat this as a simple assault on another knight.

There seems to be so much more going on that I do not know, you are close friends. Both you and Lancelot, you have both shown me great loyalty and for this I will not subject you to a full trial in front of the court. But a trial you must have as a punishment is needed. That is why I have gathered you all here. To witness the punishment I give and to make sure I treat Gwaine fairly. I cannot favour you by giving you a punishment on a whim we must all agree on a fair course of action."

Arthur looked at all the faces watching him as he finished, they all nodded their agreement but Gwaine was still watching the floor carefully.

"Sire," Arthur looked back at Lancelot and nodded for him to continue.

"Sire, I don't believe Gwaine was in his right mind today, he was still hung over badly from the previous night and I feel my actions in training may have pushed him too far. I ask that you punish him for coming to training in that mind rather than anything that may have happened resulting from this."

Arthur watched Lancelot carefully, Lancelot would never wish his friends harm even if he had been the one attacked but this made things somewhat easier for him. He nodded, "Thank you Sir Lancelot, I will take that in to consideration"

Gwaine was watching Lancelot as he spoke, though his gaze flickered back to Arthurs now, his eyes were pleading, begging forgiveness. It was shocking to say the least. This was Gwaine, strong, gallant and caring yes but never did he show emotion so openly like this. Arthur had never seen him look so vulnerable. Arthur wanted more than anything for this to be over, he was getting more and more unnerved as this carried on, he was worried more than ever about Gwaine and he could see the knights were too.

"Sire, if I may make a suggestion" Leon this time.

"Of course, Sir Leon, What is it?"

"I agree with Sir Lancelot sire, and if you were to punish him for his drunken behaviour it would be a simple matter of using a pre-existing course of action sire, if you understand? For not being fit to carry out his duties rather than anything else sire?"

"Yes, I am beginning to agree with you both Sir Leon."

Failure to carry out duties was a ban from essentially being a knight for a period of time and everything that entailed. He would be unable to wear the cloak of the knights of Camelot or carry a sword, attend training or receive pay during his ban. It was a simple solution and Arthur was suddenly very grateful to Leon for suggesting it.

But how long for?

A ban from duties would normally be anywhere from a couple of days to a few weeks. Gwaine had not really put anyone in danger from being unable to carry out his duties so that would rule out the lengthiest ban but it was also completely his fault, there were no outside factors to take in to account so that ruled out the shortest of bans.

When Arthur spoke next it was with the authority of his position as commander of the knights and crown prince:

"Sir Gwaine," Gwaine looked up at him then, his face showing resolve and acceptance at whatever came next. Nowhere near as lost or confused as it had been just moments before. Arthur took strength from this, whatever was happening with Gwaine, Gwaine would come through it, he would take his punishment with dignity and they could all move past this.

"You are hereby temporarily stripped of your title as a Knight of Camelot, your armour and sword will be held in the armoury until you are reinstated, your privileges and your pay will be withheld till you are reinstated and you will be unable to leave the citadel until you are reinstated."

At this Arthur stepped forward towards Gwaine and removed the red cloak of Camelot from his shoulders handing it over to Leon before stepping back.

"You may collect your cloak from me in two weeks' time so long as I believe you have atoned for your actions. Until such a time, you are stripped of your position as a knight."

He looked over at Gwen for reassurance. She smiled at him, squeezing his hand in hers to show him she agreed with his actions.

"Thank you Arthur" Gwaine said quietly as he stepped forward to shake his hand.

The fact that, as a commoner and at his own trial, Gwaine probably should have addressed him more formally should have annoyed Arthur but for the look of absolute relief and respect on Gwaines face Arthur let it pass. Arthur took his hand and shook it. As he whispered

"Don't let me regret it Gwaine, you are a good knight and I don't want to lose you"

"I won't Arthur, I'm sorry"

Arthur was suddenly shaken from their conversation as he heard the doors to the council chambers close. He looked at them to see if anyone had entered but no one had. Though, when he looked back to the knights who were standing around Gwaine, he saw a look of worry pass over Lancelots face. Which is when Arthur realised what had happened. The doors had not opened and closed to let someone in, they had let someone out. Merlin had been standing at the back of the chambers near to the door the whole time, he had not spoken out in defence of Gwaine at any point and had left immediately after he had found out the punishment.

Confused Arthur had looked back towards Gwaine who was still staring at the door as the others began to leave and guide Gwaine back to his own chambers. Gwaine had the look of pain over his face again. It was almost the look of a broken man.

Maybe he was more right than he could have known earlier; things had happened that he had no idea about. Maybe there was a reason Gwaine had decided to get drunk out of his mind last night, and now Merlin was acting as if he would rather be anywhere but near him. Maybe they had argued and that was why Gwaine had been spouting lies about Merlin in the tavern. They had probably started as bitter ramblings and got more and more bizarre the more ale he had.

Arthur sighed, he just wanted everything to go back to normal, as if it wasn't stressful enough trying to run the kingdom in his father's stead but to have his closest friend and one of his most trusted knights fighting would be too much to handle right now.

He and Gwen were the last in the council chambers now, the doors left open as the others all departed back to their own rooms and duties. Gwen took his hand and started to guide him out as she told a guard to send to the kitchens and bring up lunch for her and Arthur to have in his chambers.


	4. Chapter 4

**Okay so sorry for the wait, and this chapter is pretty short. I wasnt really sure how to handle this next bit as I wasn't sure whos point of view to switch to. I want to show you some of Lancelots before I go on to do Gwaine and Merlins. So this chapter is just a small insight into Lancelot and I will try to update sooner for the next bit.**

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Lancelot had woken up that morning as if everything was normal, he had got himself dressed into his chainmail and ate the simple breakfast that had been brought up for him ready for him to go to training in the yard. He didn't notice anything unusual until he left his chambers.

As he closed his door he spotted Leon and Elyan further down the corridor laughing about whatever Leon was saying. From where he was he couldn't hear much but as he started to walk towards them both he started catching the odd word.

"….and then Gwaine…..I mean he was as drunk as I'd ever seen him…spouting all kinds of stories…..Merlin of all people…. Must have been really drunk…..had to carry him back…"

As Elyan broke down in another fit of laughter, Leon looked up and saw him coming.

"You coming down to training, Lancelot?" Leon asked as he closed his still open door ready to go down.

"What were you guys just talking about?" Lancelot wasn't sure why but he was worried, more so than he should be if it was just Gwaine being drunk again but the mention of Merlin stayed in his mind.

"Oh just Gwaine, He got drunk again and started telling everyone in the pub that he was invincible and that Merlin was a sorcerer!" Elyan laughed again as he stopped leaning against Leons door frame.

"Let's go down to training, wouldn't want to be late, I'm sure Arthur will be annoyed enough at Gwaine"

As they both started walking off towards the training fields Lancelot was frozen in place.

"You coming Lancelot?" Leon asked as he looked back at him, a question on his face.

"No, you go ahead I just need to get something from my room"

Lancelot watched as the two knights walked away down the corridor still talking about Gwaine. He wasn't sure what had happened last night but surely it wasn't a coincidence that Gwaine was accusing Merlin of having magic?

So he must have found out, or Merlin must have told him. Must have trusted him. But then Gwaine must have known to keep it secret. Gods! Even Gwaine wasn't stupid enough not to know what would happen if people found out about Merlin.

He was going to kill Gwaine. How could he have done something so stupid and to Merlin? He would kill him as soon as he got down to training. But first, Merlin.

Lancelot spun around and headed off in the other direction, back towards the central courtyard and the physicians quarters. He had to find Merlin, find out what happened and to see if he was okay.

As he was on his way, Lancelot replayed the conversation in his head. Leon and Elyan had been laughing. So Merlin wasn't in trouble, so they mustn't have believed what Gwaine had said. That at least was good news. Gwaine must have been so drunk that they didn't understand what he was saying.

So Merlin, as long as everyone believed Gwaine had made it all up, was not in any danger. Lancelot was going to make sure that Gwaine was going to keep silent as soon as he got to training. But that news was at least good. Merlin's secret was still secret, well, if secret means everyone knowing but no one realising.

Lancelot was still worried as he crossed the courtyard and went up the stairs to Gaius'. Merlin was in no danger from Arthur finding out but still, he had told someone he thought he could trust about his secret, only for them to spill it all in trade for ale. It must have hurt.

Lancelot replayed the moment he had found out, the moment he told Merlin that he had seen him use magic. It was years ago now but he could still see the look of terror on Merlin's face and then the look of pure relief as Lancelot told him he would keep his secret. He could only imagine what it would have felt like for Merlin feeling that relief only to have it thrown back in his face later.

As Lancelot reached their quarters he entered after knocking on the door. Gaius looked up at him as he entered.

"Sir Lancelot, anything I can do for you today?" He said as he returned to mixing the ingredients he had in front of him.

"Is Merlin here Gaius? I need to speak with him." He made as if to go through to Merlin's room when Gaius stood up quickly and closed the gap between him and Merlin's door.

"Merlin won't be speaking to anyone this morning I suspect. He is ill and I have prescribed him bed rest till it lifts. I suspect he over tired himself running after Arthur on the hunt yesterday. Now,"

Gaius gave Lancelot a look that said he was not to be argued with before he finished with "if there is nothing else, I must get back to my remedies and I believe you have training to get to."

Gaius ushered Lancelot back out of the door as he returned to his work bench before Lancelot had managed to even get another word in.

As he headed back out and towards the training field there was only one thought in his head, Merlin was not ill, if he had locked himself in his room and was refusing to talk to anyone then he must feel really hurt. Betrayed. Because that was what Gwaine had done. He had betrayed Merlin.

Lancelot pushed all the worry for his friend out of his mind, there was nothing he could do about that now, and focused on Gwaine. Letting his anger take over till he was able to get back to his friend.

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Lancelot was standing with the other roundtable knights as Gwaine sauntered over. The whole façade he had been keeping up with the knights as they laughed about what Gwaine had said was gone know. He had done that for Merlin, him acting strangely would only draw attention to the tales. But he could not hide his anger as Gwaine stood in front of them shock dawning on his face as he realised what he had done when he was drunk.

Lancelot thanked him at least for keeping up the joke, making the others believe he had made it all up, but that wasn't enough. Gwaine would regret what he had done, if Merlin wasn't going to be angry at him, Lancelot would do it for him.

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**I dont normally do a footnote but, I would like to know what you thought about having Lancelots point of view. I'm not sure whether to do the next chapter as Gwaines point of View or switch between Gwaine and Merlin or to do a couple of small chapters so i can give you both and maybe another small bit from Lancelot as well? **

**Reviews would be greatly appreciated as I'm finding it a bit difficult to finish this even though i know how it ends.**


	5. Chapter 5

**Sorry it been a while chaps, I'm still trying to decide who's point of view to end it on but here is Merlins as a couple of you have asked for his specifically. I wasn't originally planning on doing his so I hope its okay. There will probably only be one chapter left, maybe two if I split the point of views, as I said, I haven't decided yet.**

**This is the morning of the training session, again, in case it isn't clear.**

**Enjoy.**

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Merlin had been woken by Gaius returning early that morning, he had rushed up to merlin's small room off the physician's chambers and shaken him awake.

"Gaius? When, wh…when did you get back?"

"No time for that my boy, are you okay? What happened last night?" Merlin looked up at Gaius' panicked expression.

"What do you mean what happened? What's happened?"

Gaius gave Merlin a disbelieving look as he sat down heavily on the end of Merlin's bed. "The guards Merlin, everyone is talking about…. About you. Having magic"

Merlin shot up from his bed suddenly wide awake and alert.

"What? How? I ….." Merlin spluttered looking around wildly as if the guards were about to come charging in to his room when it suddenly dawned on him and he stopped his flailing abruptly. Gwaine.

"Merlin?" Gaius prompted watching Merlin's sudden change of mood questioningly.

"I…..Gaius, what did they say, tell me what they said?"

Merlin could see the worry all over his guardian's face, but he had to know what had happened. Gwaine had promised after all. Had he been lying all the time they were talking or had he left and thought about it more then changed his mind?

"They well, I'm not sure Merlin, they seemed to be joking about it. They asked me how my apprentice sorcerer was doing and if you had learned any new spells. It all seemed rather strange but I wanted to check on you first my boy, I didn't stop to ask questions"

"Joking?" He watched as Gaius nodded slowly, completely unsure of the situation.

Why would they be joking about it? Unless they thought it wasn't true? Maybe Gwaine had tried to tell someone but they hadn't believed him? But why wouldn't they? Even mention magic in Camelot and you'd be dragged before the King. Arthur, maybe Gwaine had gone to tell the king himself but Arthur hadn't believed him? But Gwaine had had all kinds of details by the time he had left yesterday; it would have been easy to convince him. Though it had been late and he knew how Arthur got when he was woken _that_ late.

Hold on, hadn't Gwaine said he had been going to the tavern to celebrate? So maybe Arthur hadn't believed anything Gwaine said because a drunken Gwaine had turned up at a ridiculously early hour? Wouldn't that mean that he would try to convince Arthur again once he was sober? So really, guards could be charging in at any moment then.

But, why? Gwaine had said he was fine with it. He had promised to keep it secret hadn't he?

Gaius had placed a hand on Merlin's shoulders, coughing lightly to try and get his attention.

Merlin looked up at Gaius then, seeing the worried look on his face, he had to explain. Gaius who had looked out for him for so long had the right to know what had happened. He looked at Gaius, trying to find the right words to explain, in the end he found only one.

"Gwaine."

Merlin took a deep breath and closed his eyes as he explained what had happened on the hunting trip. How Gwaine had seen how he had waited till they got back to Camelot before questioning him. How he had seemed to accept it all and how he promised to never tell anyone.

Gaius was watching him carefully as he explained, Merlin could feel him trying to read his emotions off his face. He could feel Gaius sigh and almost wilt as he told him what had happened.

Until Merlin had got to the last part. After he had explained about Gwaine's reaction he felt Gaius sit up straighter and suddenly stand up.

He looked up at his mentors face then, Gaius had a light back in his eyes that merlin had not realised was missing that morning.

"I'm going to go and find out what's happened merlin, maybe this isn't all that it seemed. Wait here till I get back okay?" Gaius looked expectantly at him. Worry was bubbling up inside him. What if Gaius got in trouble, or made it worse? "I'll be careful my boy, don't you worry" Gaius added before he whisked out of his room.

Merlin had sat there staring at the door, he didn't know how long, it felt to him like the world had stopped. His world had fallen apart twice in the last day. He knew he should be worried about the guards who could be storming in to his room at any moment of the betrayal Arthur would feel if he had to find out like this but he couldn't focus his mind on any of that.

His mind was stuck. Replaying the conversation he had with Gwaine last night. How he had felt hope, true hope for the future. Someone close to him had found out and not reacted badly. Lancelot had been different, he hadn't known Lancelot for long before he had found out, Merlin hadn't ever really lied to him. But if Gwaine had accepted it through all the lies then maybe Arthur would too, maybe it would all work out alright?

But now, Merlin felt like all of the hope that had been building in him since yesterday had been ripped out, like he was already sitting in the dungeons awaiting his execution, like he had already failed his destiny. Failed Arthur and all of his kin who were relying on him.

A part of him brought up a conversation he had had with Gaius when he had first arrived all those years ago. "Am I a monster?" He had asked Gaius, only have joking. But he felt like that now. Gwaine saw him as his best friend, if one of your closest and best friends can't accept you after having explained all he had done to help them then…..

He felt like a monster, he could feel his magic swirling inside him and for the first time it felt dirty to him. He curled up on his side and felt himself drifting in and out of nightmares for the rest of the morning.

He was vaguely aware of Gaius returning at some point. He could hear Gaius trying to talk to him, tell him what he had found out. He heard him say that Gwaine was drunk that he had started telling stories in the tavern and that no one believed him. But Merlin hadn't responded, he had continued to slip in and out of dreams of his friends finding out and turning on him. So Gwaine hadn't told on purpose, he had still told, he had promised him to keep his secret and he had nearly sentenced him to death.

He could feel himself sweating and shivering as Gaius tried to feed him some potion or other. He could smell the broth that Gaius had brought up with him sitting by his bed but he still didn't move.

He had been lying like that for a long time when he next heard voices coming from the main chamber of Gaius' quarters. He could just make out Lancelot's worried tone as he heard Gaius making up excuses saying he was ill.

He heard Lancelot leave again before he slipped back into another nightmare.

His nightmares had got less and less frequent as he slipped into a deeper sleep. When he was awoken by loud voices a couple of hours later he had stopped sweating and shivering all together.

He had just managed to push himself up into a sitting position when Gaius opened his door and came into his room, putting down a new bowl of warm broth and a cup of water on the table before he sat down next to him.

"That was Sir Leon, Merlin. Arthur has called a meeting for the members of the roundtable." Merlin looked desperately up at Gaius.

"I believe it's for something that happened in training today with Gwaine, not….well, not that." Gaius added quickly.

"I tried to mention you were ill but he said it was very important we were all there."

Merlin nodded slowly as he went to get up from the bed before Gaius pushed him back to a sitting position.

"Eat something Merlin, Arthur has done without you for the whole morning I'm sure he can wait a few more minutes. Besides, Sir Leon looked like he was off to try to gather the others first. I'll go on ahead."

Gaius got up and walked towards the door before turning back to him.

"Eat Merlin!" Merlin let out a hollow laugh as he picked up the small bowl to eat as Gaius left.

What had happened at training that was so important to call a meeting like this? Maybe it was about him in some way after all.

He quickly swallowed some of the broth before dressing and finding his boots and following Gaius out desperately wanting to know what was happening.

He was heading into the main part of the castle when he heard the knights in the corridor in front of him. Merlin hurried forward trying to catch up to find out what was going on.

As he turned the corner he saw Percival walking very warily beside Gwaine, with Leon in front. But most importantly, Lancelot was behind them, directly in front of him.

They heard his footsteps as he caught up with them; they turned to see who it was as Gwaine tried to approach him. Percival grabbed at Gwaine's arm as Leon pulled Gwaine forward towards the council chambers.

Lancelot had come to a standstill next to him now, Merlin could feel him watching him closely as he stared at the others retreating backs.

"I think that they thought he was trying to get to me again not you, Merlin"

"Again?"

He heard Lancelot sigh as he started to inform him of everything that had happened that morning in training, and what Gwaine had been saying in the tavern last night. They were well behind the others by the time they slipped into the council chambers.

Merlin had started to feel sick again at how Gwaine had acted, he had attacked Lancelot. This was all his fault, if he had been more careful none of this would have happened. He stayed by the doors as Arthur spoke and as soon as it was over he slipped away before anyone could say anything to him. He wasn't able to put up with Arthur moaning at him and he didn't need a lecture from Lancelot or Gaius about how he should be more careful so he moved off to find somewhere quiet to think.

He had trusted the wrong person, and he had nearly caused that person to have the one place they called home taken from them. If Gwaine had gotten himself exiled because of Merlin's mistake he wouldn't have forgiven himself.

Gwaine might have betrayed him and that hurt more than anything, but he didn't want to see Gwaine booted out of Camelot for it. That wasn't fair. Gwaine had nowhere else to go.

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**Review please, its coming to an end so if you think i have missed something out you would like me to cover or if you do have any suggestion about whos point of view to end it on, please tell**


	6. Chapter 6

**Now I have just realised that I completely forgot about Elyan when I did the meeting of the roundtable so please forgive the attempt at covering my mistake later on in the chapter. Apart from that well there is going to be one chapter after this then done. So this is Gwaines POV and it picks up from just before the meeting when he is being led to the council chambers.**

**Enjoy.**

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Gwaine was still fuming. He was being guarded for gods sake! By his so called friends but what are friends anyway. He'd just learnt that his supposed best friend had been lying to him all this time, had lied directly to his face. So no, they weren't his friends, they were knights. Faceless, nameless knights who didn't care one bit.

They'd laughed at him all morning after all hadn't they? He was the drunk that no one ever took seriously, he had told the whole of Camelot the truth and they had laughed in his face. Idiots.

Who cared if he was banished! Attacking a knight had to be punished after all but so what? Lancelot the noble would come away looking as innocent as ever. He had lied! He was lying to them all. But no, it was Gwaine that would be the butt of the jokes again.

Maybe it was a good thing. This wasn't him after all was it? No, he was supposed to be roaming around the 5 kingdoms tavern to tavern enjoying himself, not sticking to stupid knightly rules and under princess kings who were too stupid to see the truth.

This was for the best, he'd be able to leave and get his life back. He chuckled to himself as he was led out of his room and through the castle. Percival who was standing to his side gave him an odd look. Percival, the big oaf, probably thought he had gone mad laughing to himself.

Knight of Camelot? Pah! Who cares, why should he give his life for these idiots? They didn't deserve his help. He had only stayed because….. Merlin.

Merlin had said Arthur wasn't like the other nobles. And he, Gwaine had stayed, he had believed him. Now all of these knights were acting as much the stupid nobles as all the others he had ever met. They were supposed to be his friends but no. He'd be much better on his own away from all these stupid lap dogs.

He vaguely heard footsteps in the corridor behind him but was unaware of who was following them until Leon, who was leading his guard dogs, turned around to check.

Gwaine glanced back with Percival to see what had caused Leon to turn.

Merlin.

The lying little…

Gwaine stopped mid thought as he took in Merlin's appearance. He looked almost ill. Like he had only just managed to drag himself out of bed. His eyes though briefly glancing towards Lancelot stayed fixed on the floor. He looked so…..small.

He heard Arthurs words in his head from training earlier.

"_he couldn't even turn up for work today!"_

Had he caused this? Gwaine was staring at Merlin now. Could his actions have caused his friend to look like that? Had he caused so much pain? He had betrayed his trust true but Merlin had lied to him, hadn't he?

Suddenly Gwaine felt his feet moving him forwards towards his friend. Merlin was still his friend even if he had lied, had hurt him; Merlin didn't deserve to have been betrayed like that. Gwaine needed to apologise.

As he started to move forward he felt someone grab his arm, as Leon pulled at him to get him moving again.

Just as he turned to be marched on towards the council chambers he caught Lancelot's eye. He saw the pity there. Lancelot pitied him. Gwaine the drunk idiot who didn't know what he was doing!

He was back to anger. He wiped the image of Merlin's crumpled form out of his head as the rage pulsed through him again. Idiots, the lot of them. These stupid knights didn't know what they were doing.

He tried to dislodge Percival's hand from his arm where he was still holding on like he was some sort of wild animal that needed to be tamed.

After a brief struggle they carried on down the last corridor till they got to the chambers, Percival now standing behind him instead of beside.

The guards opened the doors as they made their way into the council chambers stopping in a line a few feet from Arthur who was standing in front of the round table.

Leon started to talk to Arthur and Gwaine glanced sideways at Leon before he could stop himself.

"Gwaine came without any trouble"

He had caused trouble hadn't he? The struggle in the hall way with Percival. Why was Leon standing up for him now after treating him like some lowlife prisoner by frog marching him here?

Gwaine saw a worried Gaius and Gwen move forward to stand to Arthurs side as Arthur asked Leon where Merlin was.

"We met him on his way here sire, they were just behind us but…."

Gwaine barely registered Leons reply as he looked up suddenly confused, Merlin had been right behind them with Lancelot hadn't he?

"Yes sire, he was with Lancelot last time I saw." He heard Leon say, which must have been an answer to whatever Arthur had said.

Lancelot. Yes but they had been right behind him. Had they stopped in the corridor. Was that why Percival had moved behind him instead? Because Lancelot wasn't there anymore?

So they had stopped to talk then.

He heard footsteps enter the hall behind him as he saw Lancelot hurry forwards to stand beside Percival.

"Sorry I am late, sire."

Gwaine looked back towards the door wondering why Merlin hadn't joined them when he saw him standing beside the doors, only just inside the chambers. He had time to be reminded of the damaged boy that was standing in Merlin's body before his attention was drawn back towards Arthur.

"It's fine, we have to start"

The doors closed as Arthur told the Guards to not let them be disturbed.

Gwaine was staring at the floor in front of him thinking. Thinking about Merlin. Merlin the clumsy, funny, brave boy who was always there no matter what had gone wrong. His first real friend. The reason he had decided to stay in Camelot instead of roaming around the kingdoms alone and drunk. The reason Gwaine was who he was today.

He was different sure, but had he really changed? Merlin was the first person who saw past the drunken trouble maker he had become and seen that he was more than that. That he was worthy of being a knight. Worthy of peoples trust.

He was a better person than who he had been because of Merlin, glancing up at the others in the room, he thought they all were.

After everything they had all been through, Morganas reigns, the attacks and the bandits and everyone Merlin had lost, had the thing that broke Merlin really been him?

He thought back to the last night, how nervous Merlin had been about telling him, how he had laughed and been so relieved when he realised that Gwaine didn't care. How he had smiled at him when he had promised not to tell anyone.

How could he have betrayed him? His only true friend.

Arthur voice was cutting through his thoughts.

"You are a Knight of Camelot Gwaine"

A knight! Ha! Some knight he was, he had hurt the one person that had trusted him the most. He didn't deserve to be called a knight. He thought he had been worthy, but he hadn't, he had let Merlin down. He was just the drunken fool everyone else thought he was. How could he have done all this?

"You broke the Knights Code, the laws of Camelot and you have to be punished for your actions."

Gwaine briefly looked up at this. He locked eyes with Arthur before lowering his gaze again. Punished. He deserved to be punished. Banished. He didn't deserve to live here in Camelot with friends and status and, and a life. He had betrayed Merlin and he would never forgive himself for it.

He made out Gwen's voice as she spoke to Arthur before Leon spoke up from next to him. He heard as Leon told all that had happened that morning. He felt it as the shame was burning beneath his skin. But it was the untold reasons that were burning him more. He felt as if his insides were being ripped apart as he stood there under the gaze of the people who he had called friends. The people who were judging him, but not fairly, they had heard less than half of what he was ashamed of.

How could he have done this?

Arthur was speaking again though only some of what he said was getting through to him. He heard the disappointed tone as Arthur said "….even though you had no noble blood, I believed you along with the others would greatly benefit me and the kingdom you swore to protect."

Each word struck like a sword blow. He was reeling inside.

He heard as Lancelot spoke up for him. The noble Lancelot. Who hadn't betrayed his best friend when Merlin had told _him_ his secret. A secret that _Lancelot _had guarded with his life. How could Gwaine have acted the way he had? When the secret could have cost Merlin his life?

Was he truly not worthy to be here? Was this all a mistake. Was he only here as a jester to keep the knights in good spirits. Was everyone just laughing at him?

No, Merlin had trusted him. Had believed in him. And yet, he had done this.

Merlin had believed in him and he had let him down. But he could still prove Merlin right couldn't he? He could make up for this; no one had believed what he had said after all right? If he could stay, stay in Camelot, he could make it up to him. Prove that he was still worthy to be here, to be Merlin's friend, to have his trust. He would stay, he had to stay.

He was looking at Arthur now, he could feel the pleading in his eyes, he needed to stay. A small voice in the back of his mind told him that his normal self would never plead, never beg a _noble_ for anything. But, this was different, he couldn't care, this wasn't about him. This was for Merlin; he would make it up to Merlin if it took a lifetime. Merlin had believed in him when no one else would.

Gwaine returned his gaze to the floor as he heard Leon again, trying to help him even after everything. Trying to lessen his punishment. He heard as Arthur agreed.

Failure to carry out duties.

That wouldn't be banishment; he could stay in Camelot, that was all he asked. Whatever the punishment now, he would take it.

He heard Arthur address him and looked up, resigned to whatever came next. He heard the words as Arthur said:

"You are hereby temporarily stripped of your title as a Knight of Camelot, your armour and sword will be held in the armoury until you are reinstated, your privileges and your pay will be withheld till you are reinstated and you will be unable to leave the citadel until you are reinstated."

He watched as Arthur stepped forward to remove his cloak. As he stepped back and told him that in two weeks he would be reinstated. He heard the relief in Arthurs voice that this would all be over.

Gwaine's knees nearly buckled as he stepped forwards towards Arthur to take his hand.

"Thank you Arthur"

"Don't let me regret it Gwaine, you are a good knight and I don't want to lose you"

"I won't Arthur, I'm sorry"

Gwaine's hand dropped suddenly as the doors closed loudly behind them shaking him out of his thoughts. He turned to look for Merlin when he realised that he had already left.

Merlin couldn't stand the sight of him probably, he had betrayed his friend. And though he vowed he would make it up to him, he knew that he may never be completely forgiven nor could it be forgotten. He had betrayed Merlin, and it would likely take a lot of time.

He would keep trying though, even if Merlin never forgave him, he would keep trying.

He let himself be guided out of the room by a very relieved Percival and before he knew it, he was back in the knight's quarters. Percival left him alone in his room to go and find out if Elyan had gotten back from his patrol of the lower town so that he could explain what had happened at the meeting he had missed.

Gwaine looked around at his room. He had thrown all of his stuff off of his table when they had dragged him back here after training and his armour had been thrown off in to the corner.

He went over to it. Slowly picking the pieces up and placing it carefully away. He noted that his sword had already been taken away. And wondered when they would come for his armour when his knees finally gave away and he crashed to the floor next to the wall.

The façade he had been keeping up in the meeting had crumbled and his emotions overcame him as he leaned against the wall. His knees up and head in his hands. How had all this happened? Why couldn't he just go back and change it all? Go back to before he had got drunk and told the whole tavern about Merlin.

He let out a soft sob as his vision swam with the image of the broken Merlin he had seen today.

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**I found it a bit dificult to get Gwaines emotion across without sounding like a broken record so tell me what you think.**

**As I said last chapter coming up. So if there is anything i have missed out like Elyan for example tell me so i can correct it before the end :) Though as no one mention I had missed out Elyan im just going to assume you were as occupied with Merlin, Lancelot and Gwaine as I was.**


	7. Chapter 7

**Hello everyone, No im not dead! Im so so so so so sorry, i have left it so long. Ive been really ill, but its here now. The final chapter. Finally! Thank you to all the people who reviewed and continue to follow. I dont think i would have got round to finishing it if you didnt!**

**Here it is. And i will try to get round to my other story soon!**

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Merlin was shivering. He had been sitting out on the towers battlements for what felt like days, just trying to not think. But it was getting dark now and the bell would surely be tolling soon. He should go inside. Back down to his room, find Gaius, he would be worried about him. Though no doubt Lancelot had gone to find Gaius to reassure him after he had found him out here earlier.

His mind flickered back to the conversation he had had with Lancelot what must have been almost two hours ago now. How Lancelot had told him he had been looking for him for hours.

When he had first found Merlin out here he stayed silent. Choosing to sit down next to him and wait. But as the silence stretched Lancelot had begun to speak. Speak about how he should be more careful, that it was over with now as no one had believed Gwaine but it was too dangerous, too close.

His own voice came echoing through his mind then trying to defend his actions to Lancelot, and knowing Lancelot didn't need him to.

"_I trusted him"_

He saw the way Lancelot had looked at him then, the sympathy in his eyes at his words. The way he said sorry as if everything was broken now.

Lancelot had stayed with him a while longer before he realised he wouldn't be getting anything else out of Merlin. He had watched as Lancelot had left to tell Gaius that he was okay. Telling him to not stay out here too long.

Merlin chuckled to himself. It was dark now. Was that too long? Probably, he thought as he shivered against the cold breeze again.

But Lancelot had not come back to check on him. Accepting he probably wasn't going to say anything else or listen to any more lectures tonight.

Merlin sighed. He should go in. Find Gaius. Find some food, though he wasn't hungry.

"_I trusted him"_

It kept echoing through his head.

It was wrong. It was all wrong. He _did_ trust Gwaine. _Trust_ present tense not past. Didn't he? Gwaine was still his friend wasn't he? Even though his chest ached every time he thought of what Gwaine had done, and he felt that little bit more broken than before.

He had forgiven Gwaine hadn't he? The moment he had silently begged Arthur not to banish him, to give him another chance. So Gwaine was still his friend, and had been forgiven right?

Though that was the point wasn't it? He had _silently_ begged Arthur. He hadn't said one word to defend his friend, hadn't said anything to try to help Gwaine.

Didn't that mean he hadn't truly forgiven him? Did Merlin have to forgive Gwaine to trust him?

He remembered Gwaines broken look as he had tried to get to Merlin in the corridor before the meeting. Gwaine was more broken than he was about this.

And if Gwaine was his friend, then wasn't it Merlins job to make sure he was okay? Even if he himself was still a little broken, because hadn't he done this before, wasn't this just another small crack to him, another small step towards being completely broken. He had taken hits like this before, everything he had suffered, sacrificed to be here, to be who he was now. It was just another small little crack to him.

He'd get through this.

He still trusted Gwaine. Trusted that Gwaine wouldn't tell anyone again. Gwaine was his friend, he had made a mistake, but he was sorry.

So Merlin had to forgive him, had to make sure he was okay. Because Gwaine was more broken than he was.

Merlin pushed himself up from the cold stone floor he was sitting on. Glancing over at the citadel as he got feeling back into his arms and legs, he turned to head back inside and down into the castle.

He would make sure Gwaine was okay, no one else would. His pain meant nothing after all. He had done this enough times for Arthur, for Camelot. Smile and nod as his heart was burning. Because he was the only one that could help, the only one that could make his friend better.

Gwaine might not be his destiny but that didn't make him less important. He was by Arthurs side because he was his friend, and if he stood by Arthur while he spouted his father's hatred for magic. Then he could stand by his friend. His friend who wasn't upset by his magic but had made a mistake. Pure and simple.

This was easy.

He'd done this before.

* * *

He was in the knights quarters quicker than he had wanted. He stood in the hall way for a moment longer, composing himself before he knocked quietly at the door.

He watched Leon walk down the corridor, nodding at him as he left his chambers.

He knocked again on the door a bit louder but didn't wait for an answer this time as he tentatively opened the door.

It was dark but there was enough light coming through the windows to see clearly enough. He glanced around the room as he stepped inside, stopping as he spotted Gwaine huddled on the floor against the wall.

Taking a silent deep breath, Merlin closed the door behind him and stepped into the room.

He stood still wondering whether he should approach or talk first. As a wave of doubt washed over him.

He watched as Gwaine slowly lifted his head to see who it was. Saw the pain flicker onto his face as he caught his eye.

After a few seconds of just standing there watching his broken friend, Merlin moved forward, forcing himself to smile as he slowly sat down against the wall next to Gwaine.

While all the time Gwaines eyes followed him.

Merlin sighed as he turned his face to look out at the moonlight coming through the window.

They sat there in silence as Gwaine tried to say sorry and Merlin forgave him. Not once speaking. Knowing that the other one knew already just by them being there.

They sat there as the bell tolled and it got even darker outside before being shaken out of their thoughts by a knock at the door.

They turned to see who it was as a servant carrying a large tray of food came into the dark room. Glancing round before he spotted them, the boy paused before coming over to where they sat on the floor. Carefully placing the tray on the floor and pouring water into the two goblets he had brought with him.

Merlin eyed him suspiciously, it was Edward he had seen him in the kitchens enough to know the boy, he worked in the knights wing but why had he brought enough for two?

The servant caught his gaze, he placed the goblet back down before speaking.

"Sir Lancelot sent me to the kitchens, he said you would be eating with Sir Gwaine"

Merlin nodded as Edward got up and went over to the light the fire, he lit some candles around the room before heading out the door again.

Lancelot? How did Lancelot know he'd be here? Merlin answered that question as soon as he thought it. Leon. He must have seen Leon.

Merlin Glanced at the food. The peace offering. That's what this was. Lancelot knew he was with Gwaine, knew he had probably angered Merlin for saying he shouldn't have told Gwaine. Knew by now, that Merlin had forgiven Gwaine and was moving on.

This was Lancelot telling Merlin that if he trusted Gwaine then he would too.

Realising how hungry he was, he guessed Gwaine must be starving too, as it didn't look like he had eaten lunch either. He glanced at Gwaine, noticing the knight had not grabbed any food.

Merlin, sighed again, knowing it would take a while for Gwaine to be back to his old self, but knowing he was in a much better state than he was earlier.

"Well if you're not eating any I'll have your bit. It's not often I get food fit for knights"

"Really? I thought you stole half of Arthurs breakfast every morning? He's always complaining you don't give him much but I know full well you leave the kitchens with a full tray every morning"

Merlin relaxed as he and Gwaine started to laugh, grabbing some food off the plates, he knew it would be okay.

He trusted Gwaine, and although it had been difficult for both of them they were still friends. Lancelot was still there looking out for him as always. Maybe telling Arthur wouldn't be so bad in the end after all.

* * *

**There it is. My first fan fic is over! Please review and tell me what you think. Thank you all for reading!**


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