Merlin 1. Chapter 1

**Right, so here it is. My second Merthur story. It has been with me for a while and I am delighted that it is finally coming together (well at least I hope so!).**

**Just a couple of explanations to start with:**

**I am starting out in the present and will then tell the story how we got to this point! (I am sure you would have figured that out yourselves as well, but I just can't help myself :) **

**Hope you enjoy it and that it will catch your imagination!**

**And: MU stands for Magic User**

**Have fun!**

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><p><strong>Chapter 1 Three weeks before the end<strong>

The sting of the needle piercing into his vein is nothing compared to the impotent anger and the overwhelming frustration that rages through him. He watches as the medic pushes the plunger of the syringe down slowly and the blue liquid inside disappears drop by drop into his bloodstream. So this is it. Somehow he never thought that the unthinkable would ever happen, but he'd relied on his magic one time too many to get him out of a tricky situation. And ended up in this high security prison cell which has been specially designed for sorcerers like him.

_Odd_. Merlin barely manages the thought. To end up here, in this desolate place that he inspected with Arthur only a few months earlier. He remembers his shock at the fact that such a place should even exist and can hardly fathom that he is the one in it now.

The cell is small, maybe three by three metres, and is lit by a lonely, dull light bulb sticking out from the wall above the door. Merlin's only too well aware that the walls are reinforced with cold iron to stunt the use of magic inside it and, in time, make the imprisoned more responsive to any questioning.

Its power has hit him as soon as the overzealous guard pushed him brutally into the cell some time earlier. How long ago exactly, he cannot tell. It's no wonder considering he was half conscious at the time, his head blood smeared and his legs and arms tightly shackled. The little energy he'd left, he used to deal with the acute pain searing in his chest.

"That's where you belong, you traitorous piece of filth."

The man hissed at him and kicked him into his chest with the butt of his laser gun, aiming deliberately at the gashing wound on Merlin's chest. Merlin winced in pain, crashing onto his knees on the rough stone floor. Another blast into his back hurled him across the ground, grazing his elbows in the process, and although his body acknowledged the burn, the pain never seemed to reach his brain to process it, just as if reality had been suspended.

When he collapsed into a curl next to the makeshift bed, he sensed in an instant that the guard was going to go for more and instinctively lifted his arms to protect his head. A second later a kick hit at the shoulder and another one went straight into his torso. The cracking noise of a breaking rib and the agonizing, stabbing pain that followed were the final straw to Merlin's endurance. His body seemed to consist of nothing else but screaming agony and as he lay motionless on the ground, the stench of antiseptic and the bleach that had been used to disinfect the cell was the last thing his brain processed. He could take no more, and it was just as well that mercy took pity on him and released him into unconsciousness.

A glaring light shining brightly into his eyes brought Merlin back into reality. For an instant he had no idea where he was and what the heck was going on. Then it all came back in a flash. He'd been caught red-handed using magic. And he had been thrown into a forsaken cell which reeked of death.

Once he worked his way through confusion and disorientation, he became aware of his aching limbs. A second later he wished he wouldn't have. Not only was his abused body shaking with throbbing pain, but he could feel that the dark force of the cold iron had crept silently over him while he'd been knocked out. He sensed his magic was uneasy and quivering inside.

Slowly everything around took shape and he found himself surrounded by four men. Three guards and a man in a white coat whose voice sounded vaguely familiar.

"Put him on the table!" He ordered, while Merlin was wracking his brain trying to match a face to the voice he was hearing. Rough hands grabbed him a moment later and dumped him on the steel table where he was strapped down so tight that he could hardly move a muscle. Merlin groaned with the distress of it and despite his drowsiness and lack of coordination his eyes went golden instinctively to defend himself. He did hear a man wailing as he crashed into a wall, but the feeble attempt to defy his jailers ended embarrassingly quickly. He simply was too weak to conjure up the power he needed to escap, with the cold iron doing the rest to incapacitate him.

"Merlin." The voice said in a deep, rather satisfied voice.

"I can see you're very powerful." Merlin followed the voice of the man in command and he held his breath when he recognized the person who was addressing him with a great deal of interest. It was the Chief of Research, Dr. Edwin Richter. Although theoretically a member of Arthur's security team, it was well known that he reported directly to Uther Pendragon. He was not only fiercely loyal to his Governor, but also shared his intense hatred of anything magical.

"No sorcerer before you has been able to perform magic in these four walls." And the doctor smiled rather pleased. "That should make this little experiment even more interesting."

At that he opened a metal case that contained a syringe and a few bottles of a blue liquid. Merlin knew exactly what this was. The Serum. The one substance that every magic user feared more than anything else. Merlin stared at the fluorescent blue of the liquid and could not help imagining what this would do to him. Unconsciously he started to pull at the straps that were holding him down.

"Are we getting nervous?" Edwin said and smirked. "Just face it that you're finished. "No need to hurt yourself any further." said the medic in a derisive manner.

Hurt himself further? What a joke! Merlin almost let out a bitter chuckle. Another injury wouldn't make any bloody difference to his fate. Because the Serum would finish him off anyway. Once he was injected he was certain to die sooner or later, just like so many of his kin before.

Uther Pendragon had the abominable formula developed in the seventh year of his government. The official propaganda had always claimed that its use was in the best interest of the sorcerers that were injected. That all it did was to prevent them from performing magic and thus ensuring their own and the general public's safety. In fact it was often stressed what a human solution the Serum was for dealing with the perversion of sorcery.

The citizens of Albion had welcomed the introduction of the Serum because so many were afraid of magic and its power. With the media playing their part in spreading stories about sorcerers adjusting to a 'normal' life after being injected, the Serum was hailed publicly as the perfect means to contain the spread of magic while maintaining justice and peace. And it had become the norm that anyone caught doing magic was injected. No matter what.

And now Merlin's the one being punished. He stares at the syringe as it is emptying bit by bit. The blue liquid's spreading through his body reaching every part and every fibre and as it takes command of him, cell by cell, his magic recoils and struggles against it. It tries to push the icy blue away with all its force and fight it with all its might. But the Serum has the force of a tsunami washing over every attempt to resist it. Uther's scientists have been working relentlessly to perfect the formula over the years, and these days it is so effective at supressing magic that there's no getting away from it.

Not even from someone like Merlin who's been hailed the most powerful sorcerer of his day. Because the Serum is designed to increase in its effect the more magic it encounters. People of far lesser powers died not too long after the administration of the drug, many suffering terrible side effects and often welcoming death as a relief from their ordeal. Not that any of this has ever been mentioned on the news! No, the inhabitants of Camelot have been kept in blissful ignorance about what the Serum really does.

Merlin closes his eyes and breathes through deeply. So this is the moment that signifies the beginning of the end of his life. God, his hopes had been so high to do something meaningful for his people. How much had he wanted to demolish the threat of the Serum. For a moment he thinks of Hunith, but he immediately pushes the thought away. He doesn't want to imagine her face when she finds out the second time within a year that she is going to lose someone she loves.

Just as the last drop of the Serum enters Merlin's bloodstream the heavy iron door of the cell is hastily opened. The medic and the guards look up and immediately stand to attention because it's Arthur Pendragon, the son of the Governor and Minister of Justice who has just entered.

Arthur looks flushed as if he was hurrying and he looks rather fierce. Merlin can hardly make him out from his position, and although there's no reason to justify this whatsoever, he feels comforted by his presence.

"What is the meaning of this?" Arthur growls at Edwin while he subconsciously stares at the few drops of blood collecting on the inside of Merlin's arm.

"I act upon the direct orders of the Governor." The doctor answers slyly, while he's pulling the needle out of Merlin's arm with a smug, satisfied smile.

"Of course you realize that it's your duty to inform me of any administration of the Serum." Arthur emphasizes every single word to make his point and there's no doubt that he's more than displeased. "So why did I not hear about this sooner?"

Merlin knows this tone of voice and mood so well and even without seeing Arthur's face he would bet that his jaws are clenched and his lips thin. Angry Arthur is a force to be reckoned with. And the men before him know it, too.

"The Governor ordered that the Serum should be given immediately after the trial, Sir. " Edwin mumbles in a much more subservient manner. He knows that Uther's on his side, but he certainly does not want to end up in the middle of an argument between Uther and his son. Because blood is always thicker than anything else.

Merlin tries to catch Arthur's gaze, wants to read what's in his eyes, but Arthur's still standing with his back to him. It seems that he's mainly here because he is thoroughly pissed off about being left in the dark about the timing of the injection.

"Is that so, Edwin?" Arthur puts on his most arrogant tone and Merlin can virtually feel how Arthur's running his eyes over the man in a most condescending way. Edwin's never been a favourite of the young Pendragon, to put it mildly, even if he is the family doctor. Arthur's stated on more than one occasion that the white haired wiry man was Uther's creature through and through. A fact that will convince him now that the doctor is telling the truth. Nevertheles, Merlin's certain that Arthur won't stand for this man going behind his back while he officially works under his supervision.

"You'll report to me later and I'll decide where we go from there." There's so much authority in Arthur's voice, so much natural leadership quality in the way he acts that Edwin backs off.

"As you wish, Arthur!" He mumbles and then collects his implements, puts them back into the metal case and leaves with a short, reluctant nod towards Arthur.

"And you three." Arthur grumbles at the guards. "I want you back here in half an hour. This prisoner will be moved to the cells on the ground floor."

"But ,sir…." The tallest guard mumbles. "He's a sorcerer."

"As it seems he has been put out of action by the Serum,so that shouldn't be a problem anymore, right?" Arthur's voice is trembling, not to hear for the guards, but Merlin who knows every single nuance of his voice, who knows how he looks and sounds when he's thoughtful or happy or bored, is not fooled. The slight tremor in the words stand for a lot more.

"Now, release him from these shackles and get on with it."

The men seem to understand THAT at least and after letting Merlin loose they leave quietly. A deafening silence spreads through the cell.

Merlin attempts to sit up as if in slow motion. The ice blue inside him swirls around and takes a hold of his whole body. He carefully scrambles up, but can't help but groan as he tries to get his legs off the table. His head is fuzzy and it takes all his concentration to bid his body to do what he wants.

Arthur has not moved, still turning his back on him, and obviously has no intention to give him a hand. "_Why would he_?" Merlin thinks bitterly. There's so much unspoken hurt between them, such a heavy load of unresolved emotions, it is no wonder.

Finally Merlin's managed to sit up and he takes a deep breath. All he's able to do at this instant is to stare at Arthur's back who in turn has his eyes glued to the door where the guards have not long disappeared.

Arthur knows he can't look at Merlin at this moment. Because as soon as he does he has to acknowledge what's just happened. His heart is thumping inside his chest and he's sure that he's unable to utter even the tiniest of words just now. It seems his brain is frozen in shock and disbelief.

Merlin. The Serum. Too late. He's been too late. Merlin's going to die. No. It can't be true. Can't be. No.

The thought keeps hollering inside his head and growing louder and louder and, in addition to his exhaustion, it nearly overpowers him. This is all too much to cope with. The last few months have been sheer hell and just now there are too many adverse feelings suffocating him he has no idea how to deal with.

In this instant he can't face Merlin because the realization that he has failed him stabs at his insides relentlessly. The Serum should have never reached Merlin. Certainly not today. He would have found a way to avoid it, would have thought of another solution despite everything that's happened in the past. But now it's too late. And he can't bear it. Can't bear to lose the man he once loved. Still loves. Loves.

Arthur pushes the thought away vehemently. What a lot of nonsense. Those days are long past. He angrily reminds himself that this is the punishment for sorcery and for murder. It's what the law prescribes and he's the one that is responsible for upholding the laws. Merlin deserves what he got.

Why does it feel so bloody painful though? So dreadfully wrong?

And Merlin still waits. And waits. Until something breaks inside him and he erupts.

"Why are you here, Arthur?" He pushes out as if he was in the driving seat and not the one who has just been condemned to a painful death.

Arthur takes a breath. He knows that he has to say something, but all the conflicting emotions inside him are driving him crazy and he feels defenceless against them, unable to control them the same way he's always controlled his feelings. It is disturbing and alien.

"Why did you come back?" Arthur finally asks hoarsely, carefully avoiding eye contact. "I thought you got what you wanted the first time?"

_And a lot more._ Merlin thinks and swallows hard. "I had no choice." He says, much stronger than he feels.

"The formula." Arthur suggests.

"Yeap. It was not complete." Why should Merlin lie, when it's totally obvious that his mission was to steal a copy of the formula for the Serum. So that Gaius could study it and develop an antidote. So that his people didn't have to suffer anymore.

"Why you?" Arthur asks, knowing the answer, but just wanting to say something.

"I know the premises. I know the defence mechanisms. I know you." Merlin croaks the last bit, not only because he's suddenly feeling very heady and strange, but because the last sentence simply rips his heart out.

"More lies and treason, then, Merlin." Arthur's disappointment and anguish are clearly evident and Merlin flinches. How can he understand that Arthur's never felt so torn in his life? And that falling back upon safe phrases is his only means of coming to terms with what happened.

"Just like any other sorcerer." It slips out before Arthur can help it. It's the propaganda he's been taught from the moment he was born. It's what he's been told all his life. How can he reject all this in the favour of one man? It means giving up everything he's ever believed and leaving him stranded and lost somewhere in nowhere land.

Merlin cringes at Arthur's condescending words and his heart dies drowning the last ray of hope in a sea of despair.

"I assume that must be it." Merlin pushes out. He's deliberately provocative to see whether he can rile Arthur enough to face him.

"Why would I be different from the rest? I'm just another one of those twisted, criminal magical minds that threaten Albion. Just another sorcerer who wants to corrupt the foundations of this nation. Is that what you believe Arthur?" Sarcasm and anguish are dripping off his words and the fact that Arthur still has not had the guts to turn round is making his blood boil.

"That's what you think I am, don't you?" Merlin finishes off sharply. And God, he's so hurt, so torn to pieces when he says it because despite all that's happened in the past he'd kept hoping that maybe, one day, Arthur would stand up publicy against his father's views about magic and that maybe, one day, Arthur would be able to forgive him.

Now he understands that he was dreadfully wrong. Arthur's always been his father's son. And how could he not be, when he'd heard nothing apart from the well phrased slogans about the evils of magic since childhood. It'd been his own fault to turn away from this painful truth because he hadn't wanted to see it. He'd thought that Arthur could be different. How more wrong could he have been?

"_Course I gave him no reason to think differently". _Merlin admits to himself while a wave of guilt crushes on his weary shoulders. _Arthur. I'm so sorry. Arthur. _His mind whispers, the word remaining unheard inside his head.

Arthur's listening to Merlin's tirade and it feels as if every bloody word is burning him like fire. Because Merlin's right. It is what he's thought for so many months and what he's never come to terms with. What part of him still thinks it to be true? He's so unsure about so many things just now.

And then, as if he's heard Merlin's silent plea, Arthur finally turns round and for the first time in six months their eyes meet. Merlin's heart misses a beat at the intense hurt that stares back at him. But there's anger and rejection, too. Too much of it. For the fraction of a second it feels like losing Arthur all over again, even though Arthur is not his to lose anymore.

Then he gets ripped out of his thought by an unexpected question.

"Who the hell did that to you?" It escapes Arthur before he has even thought it through because the sight of Merlin, looking thoroughly broken, blood-smeared and bruised all over has cut straight through his heart and pushed anything else out of its way.

Merlin stares at Arthur blandly, exhausted in mind and in body, and his voice starts failing him.

"What does that matter now, Arthur?" He whispers faintly. "I'm condemned to die. A scratch here and there…."

And at that, everything's suddenly all too much and he topples over, losing consciousness again.

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><p><strong>What do you think? I would love to know and I really appreciate any comments. Thanks!<strong>


	2. Chapter 2: Merlin

**First of all thank you so much to everyone who has taken an interest in this story and followed, favourited or reviewed it! Your great comments are so encouraging! I always love hearing from you!**

**Now we know where this is going to go, we'll start at the very beginning.**

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><p><strong>12 months earlier<strong>

"Shit!" Merlin cannot believe he has ruined another sample. This is the third one this morning. It is hard enough to get a hold of blood samples containing Serum. Destroying them "en masse" as he's managed in just a couple of hours is not exactly a very bright thing to do. The fragile glass plate has slipped his fingers and lies on the floor now, broken in thousands of tiny pieces. The delicate contents are contaminated by dust and dirt and completely useless for further research.

Merlin stares at the shards accusingly and then pieces the glass together with a quick flash of gold and one slight wave of his hand. Even if the sample's spoilt, he's at least not wasted the glass plate.

"Merlin." Gaius chides him, but his voice is warm and full of affection, even if it has the familiar hint of exasperation in it. "You know better than to use magic inside the Institute."

Of course Gaius is right. He's acted out of instinct, without really thinking, yet again. Anybody could have come through the door to their lab just that very second to see. And then hell would have broken loose and he would have not only lost a job he dearly loves, but also compromised his family, his friends and the research Gaius and he had been working on secretly for such a long time. And that would have been really the last thing on earth he needed. Particularly at this moment in time.

"I really think you should call it a day."

The old scientist looks at the young lanky man in front of him. Merlin has not been his usual efficient self in the last two days. No wonder considering the recent events. He really needs to take some time off until things have settled, whatever that may entail.

Merlin nods. He knows his work has suffered after the catastrophic news on Wednesday and he's certainly not been living up to his reputation as the most gifted biochemist in the Institute. He had figured that work might do him good and take his mind of the dread that hangs over him like the sword of Damocles. But he has made one embarrassing mistake after another this morning.

"Go and see Hunith." Gaius adds and squeezes his shoulder gently. "She really needs you just now."

"Thanks, Gaius." Merlin genuinely appreciates the kindness and the advice of the much older man. Of course, nobody - apart from his parents - knows him as well as his mentor and immediate superior in this facility. Gaius has been a family friend for as long as he remembers, and he has no idea what he would have done without him when he was just a boy and not quite sure what to do with his magic. Who knows what would have become of him without Gaius's guidance. His mum does not have magic after all and though his father is a talented sorcerer he's nowhere near as powerful as Merlin.

Even the faintest thought about his father has an immediate effect on him. His throat has gone all dry and his heart has started to beat at double speed.

His father. Balinor.

Merlin's eyes involuntarily flick to the wall where the most important news flashes of the last few days are continuously displayed on a fibre optic glass screen. He stares at the front page of today's paper, unable to process what the heck has happened.

**Collusion with Evil**

**Balinor Emerson**

**Blacklisted Sorcerer caught in attempt to free convicted Magic Users.**

**Captain of Justice Squad killed.**

Balinor's usually not only cautious and meticulous in everything he does, he has years of experience dealing with the soldiers of the Justice Squad. This should not have happened. End of story. The fact that it has and that this is his new reality is more than mind blowing.

He's read the article that goes with the headline. It's been painful to stomach all the deceit and falsified information the Pendragon Regime has been dishing up to make his father look like a devil walking the earth. When all he did was trying to save some innocent people, a family of five who'd been reported by a neighbour for using magic in their home. At least they had got away. So his father's efforts hadn't been in vain.

He had wanted to accompany him that night, but his father had been adamant.

"This is too dangerous, my boy." He had said with a stern look on his face. "I don't want to see you anywhere near there." There was no point in arguing with his father when it came to this. They'd discussed it enough often before.

Now that the worst has happened, he keeps asking himself why he didn't insist? Why had he given in so easily? He could have saved his father, he is sure. If only he'd been there.

"Stop blaming yourself, Merlin." Gaius startles the younger man out of his thoughts. "Your father knew what he was doing when he asked you to stay behind."

Merlin grits his teeth. They've had this discussion at least three times since this morning, but he knows that nothing Gaius says will help him feel better about this. His father's been caught and he's going to die if he is given the Serum. And as far as Merlin can see it is all his fault.

"Give Hunith my love." Gaius says and hugs Merlin heartily. "And I'll see you tonight at the meeting, okay?

"Sure. See you later Gaius." Merlin attempts a smile. "And thanks, you know …" Gaius just claps his shoulder in acknowledgement and then Merlin is out of the door.

He whisks along the corridor, his mind running over ideas and options what their next course of action has to be. One thing's for sure. There's no way he is just going to stand by and watch his father die at the hand of the Pendragons. Something needs to be done, and pretty soon, too.

Half an hour later he lets himself into the house where he grew up.

"Merlin!" Hunith has appeared at the living room door. She's pale and her red eyes give away that she's been crying. Not that she ever does it in front of him or anyone else for that. She's keeping up appearances and she does it very well. Underneath it all though, Merlin's certain, she is breaking apart.

Wordlessly Merlin opens his arms to envelope his mother in a tight embrace. He can feel the sigh of relief she exhales when she rests her head on his chest.

"Thanks for coming." She murmurs and holds onto her son like a lost child. Merlin automatically starts wrapping his magic around her, cocooning her in it like in a huge pink ball of cotton wool.

"Onlæ." He whispers and is gratified when he feels her body respond to the relaxation spell.

Hunith looks up at him and gently strokes across his cheek. "What would I do without you, my son?" And she rewards him with a tiny smile and a gentle kiss.

Merlin's eyes are tearing up despite his best effort to remain calm and collected for her . Of course this is exactly why Balinor had made it a rule from his first day in the FMU that they should never go out on a mission together.

"Somebody needs to be there for Hunith, should anything happen." He'd often explained when Merlin had been left behind on an assigment Balinor was leading.

"Come." Merlin gently coaxes his mother into the living room and they get settled on the cosy settee.

"Have you heard anything new?" Merlin enquires, anticipating the answer but asking anyway to get Hunith to talk.

"Nothing official, Merlin." She shakes her head. "But Will says that the trial will probably take place later today."

Thank God for Will who's able to get some kind of information out of the Justice Ministry. Although he's not disclosed exactly how. From what Merlin knows he has got some kind of informer inside. Not that he really cares as long as they find out what the latest moves of Pendragon government are and how Balinor's case is proceeding. Lawsuits involving magic offences are usually kept completely behind locked doors and out of the public eye.

"Later today, hmmm." Merlin repeats. His mum knows what's coming, and so does he. The Pendragons do not waste time when there's a case against the use of magic. The verdict will, no doubt, come through by the evening. He's glad he listened to Gaius and left work early. Hunith needs his support 24/7 just now. She is going to rely on his strength when the inevitable happens.

"They're going to give him the Serum, aren't they?" She asks breathlessly, barely able to hide the anguish in her voice. He notes that she's phrased the comment as a half question, as if there's some hope that she might be mistaken. Even though it's common knowledge what happens by default to sorcerers convicted of doing magic. He fervently wishes he could contradict her. But Balinor has not only got magic, he has also killed one of the Pendragon's security men. And that alone demands the severest of all punishments.

"How long do you reckon has he got after it?"

"Nobody can be sure of it, mum." Merlin does not really want to say what he thinks because it would feel like kicking someone who is already down. He is also not certain that he can face the cold truth himself.

Hunith has started trembling and Merlin hates to see his mother who's calm and composed by nature so upset and nervous.

"Have you been sleeping at all?" He strokes over her hair trying to calm her again.

Hunith throws him a look that implies that he already knows the answer to this.

"You need some rest. Shall I help?" Merlin offers and is glad when she agrees.

"Just for the afternoon though, Merlin." She gives her consent. "I need to be awake for the meeting this evening."

"Sure. Of course you need to be there." Merlin places his hands on her head, closes his eyes and visualizes his mother sleeping soundly.

"Beslæpan!" He mutters under his breath and a second later Hunith relaxes into his arms and then her breathing becomes steady and regular. Merlin carefully places his mum's sleepy form on to the sofa and covers her with the woolly blanket that is thrown over the arm rest. Then he quietly closes the living room door and wanders into the kitchen to make himself a cup of tea and find something to eat. He walks over to the fridge and stops short in front of it.

There's a family photograph pinned to the door. It was taken five months ago, before Morgana went off to Avalon University for her third year of English Literature. Actually she should be back soon. He tried to put her off coming home, not wanting to disrupt her education but she would not hear any of it.

"Balinor might not be my biological father …" she'd said "but he's the only dad I ever had and I'll be damned if I miss out on showing him my support in a time that matters. And Hunith will be glad of some female company." And that had been the end of it.

As if on cue Merlin hears a key in the front door and seconds later Morgana's in the kitchen hugging him.

"I came as quickly as I could." She throws the car key on the sideboard and dumps her bag in a corner.

"You must have broken quite a few speed records on the motorway." Merlin looks at her with a big question mark on his face.

"I did make the engine spin that little bit faster." Morgana grins and winks at her foster brother, knowing full well that he would never condone such reckless use of magic. Then they both give each other a quick once over as it's been weeks since they have last met.

"You are looking thinner again." Morgana teases. _But still so bloody handsome. _Something inside her adds before she can stop it.

"You look fabulous, little sister." Merlin pecks her on the cheek. "Uni really suits you. How many hearts have you broken this term so far?"

Morgana giggles. "Too many to remember." _But not the one I'd like to break most. _Morgana shakes her head trying to control her wayward mind. Damn. She really had thought that she had this under control. Time to change the topic. That is not why she's here after all.

"So how are things?" She enquires, turning all serious, and Merlin takes a couple of minutes to fill her in.

"I hate the Pendragons." Morgana pushes out when Merlin stops and her cheeks are flushed with annoyance. "I hate them more than I've ever done before. We all deserve to have a life in this country, and it is bloody time that they're shown that we are a force to be reckoned with."

Merlin can feel the anger radiating from her. If anything, Morgana has become even more radical since she's been at uni and met a crowd of sorcerers who share her belief that the current regime should be ousted by magic. For once and for all. The sooner, the better. Magic should reign freely again, they say, as it used to be before the ancestors of the present governor came into power.

"Remember when we were kids and we made up plans how we would take revenge on the Pendragons for things they'd done?" Morgana reminisces and her brow furrows deeply.

"Yeah, poor Uther and Arthur died quite a few unorthodox deaths." Merlin smirks.

"We could still rekindle some of those ideas…" Morgana suggests tentatively.

"Wish it was as easy."

"Maybe it is?" Morgana catches Merlin's gaze and looks at him as if she expects something to happen. When Merlin just shakes his head and sighs, mumbling something like. "This is the real world though." She clenches her teeth and turns away.

Merlin who has known her for so long is quite aware that something is amiss. Of course he understands why she feels so strongly about the Pendragons. They stand for everything that is wrong in Albion from her point of view. Uther has always been the main catalyst for all the evil that has befallen MUs all over the country. Morgana's parents included. They were both killed in a raid by soldiers of the Justice Squad.

Merlin remembers when Hunith had come home one day when he was seven, holding a small distraught girl of about two in her arms.

"Alator found her. She has magic." His mum had said. "There's no one of her family left. She needs a home that understands her. Poor little thing." Merlin can still clearly recall his father lifting Morgana onto his lap without any hesitation.

"What's her name?" He had looked to Hunith for an answer but was surprised when the girl answered herself, quite unafraid and forward. "I'm Morgana. Are you my new dad?"

Balinor had chuckled and placed a kiss onto her head. "You're a brave one, aren't you?" He'd said and that had sealed their bond.

Yes, Morgana has good reason to detest the Pendragons, but Merlin doesn't believe in violent solutions by default. It has never been his way, or indeed Balinor's. As much as he loves his sister he will never agree with her on that point. She has always viewed her magic as a tool to get what she wanted, even when she was a little girl.

"You know that a war to free magic will not solve anything, Morgana." Merlin tries to appease her. "And so many lives would be lost, on both sides."

"What's the point of all your power if you can never use it? It's pointless. Imagine what you could do, how you could shape the world…" Morgana's temper flares up, just as it always has when she tries to argue her opinion. Her eyes are blazing and her body is shaking with contained anger. Although Morgana has never held back in speaking out against the government, this outrage is on a different scale. She pauses as she notices Merlin's lips purse and his eyes shadow with concern. _He's worried._ Morgana notices his side way glance and quickly reins herself in. The last thing she wants to do just now is to fall out with Merlin.

"All I mean is that something needs to be done. This can't go on any longer. Look where it got us. Look at dad…" And at that her voice falters.

"I know you're upset." Merlin mutters and gently pulls her close. "And maybe one day there will be a fair and just Albion for all its citizens. All we have to think about now is how to save our father."

Morgana knows when to back down.

"Sorry I was getting carried away. I am so worried …" She bites her lips and Merlin realizes that he's forgotten for a moment that this is as hard on her as it is on him and his mum.

"Sure, sis. Come here." Then he folds his arms around her and they stand quietly in their embrace. Merlin's trying to comfort her, offering strength and patience and brotherly love and gently rubs her back.

And though Morgana understands his intention and appreciates his kindness with all her heart, she cannot help but notice the warmth of his body and the familiar scent of his after shave. And she instinctively wants to lean into him and … Damn. _This cannot go on any longer._ It has to stop. Because Merlin is her family. And she won't risk losing that.

And so Morgana unwraps herself a bit too hastily out of his embrace. "All calm here again." She mutters and squeezes his arm before she adds. "Better get a shower before the FMU descend on us!" she gives Merlin a vague smile, turns, and jogs upstairs.

Merlin gazes blankly at the staircase where Morgana has just disappeared. "Typical Morgana." He mumbles and then sneaks into the living room to check on Hunith who is still fast asleep. Time for him to get a quick breather, too.

When Merlin opens the door to his old bedroom he immediately feels like a teenager again. Everything has been left exactly the way it was on the day he left for university. The old posters are still gracing the walls and books and magazines still teetering on a pile on the desk near the window.

It brings back so many memories. Of his life then, his friends, his sister and his parents. And his father, of course.

There are photos of their holiday at the southern beach of Carleon on a pinboard on the wall. Balinor had taught him to swim that summer and how to catch fish with the wink of an eye. Then there are the books on magic his father gave him to read when he became aware of his powers. They have been sitting on his book shelf to this day, disguised as reference books of some kind.

Merlin throws himself onto the freshly made up bed – no doubt Hunith has anticipated him staying for the night – pulls his arms behind his head and closes his eyes.

"_Father."_ He whispers in his head hoping that maybe this time he will reach Balinor. "_Father."_ He repeats, swearing not to give up yet. "_Are you there?"_

But Balinor doesn't answer. The silence is deafening and Merlin's heart sinks.

It had been on his tenth birthday when they'd connected by telepathy and over the years it had strengthened their bond in so many ways. Merlin had always looked up to his father, admired him for his wisdom, his goodness and his tenacity and he tried to make him proud. But what would Balinor want him to do now? How can he sit back and watch his demise rather than go out and try to do SOMETHING to save him.

Merlin's lips twitch when he thinks about it. Because if you look at it in the cold light of the days Balinor is a rebel. Even a criminal if you define him by the laws of the country. Neither view tells the real story. Namely the story of a man who's been risking his life relentlessly to save others. People who are innocent, but simply pursued for their magic. People who are caught using magic for the good, like healing and seeing. People who perform magic to help others for the benefit of all.

While Uther Pendragon hates magic so much that he cannot see beyond its existence, Balinor knows where to draw a fair line. Those sorcerers who abuse their powers will never receive a helping hand from him and he's been called a hypocrite and traitor for that by the radical fractions in the FMU. To Merlin though Balinor is a hero, a man of integrity who understands what good and evil means.

Merlin calls out for his father a third time, not expecting an answer, but as this is all he can do at the moment, he tries anyway. When no reply is forthcoming, he lets his head sink onto his pillow and sets his mind free. He needs to clear his thoughts before this evening.

At the stroke of nine the inner circle of the FMU has congregated and settled around the round table in Hunith's kitchen.

Merlin has greeted them all: Gaius and Alator, the oldest family friends and Balinor's closest allies. Alice and Hunith, the grand dames of the circle. Gilli and Will, his childhood friends, and of course Morgana and himself.

They have been heading the actions of the FMU for years and each of them represents a certain part of the magic community: seers, healers, druids and sorcerers of all kinds. Their faces are all sombre. Balinor is their leader and his capture has rattled them. As the oldest present Gaius opens the meeting and is the first to speak.

"We all know why we're here today. " And he looks round the table receiving acknowledging looks while Merlin gives him a curt nod. "So let's get straight down to it: What are we going to do?"

"Just blast him out." Morgana suggests in the full knowledge that most of those present would never agree to this, and she can see Merlin raising his eyebrows.

"Morgana." Hunith scolds her tenderly, but she has not let go of her daughter's hand that is tightly wrapped around hers.

"I think that's not quite the solution we're looking for." Gaius speaks out what everyone's thinking and shortly states what his own opinion.

"If what Will's contact has told us is correct, Balinor will be convicted and injected tomorrow morning. From experience we know that he's got between three and five months after that. If we want to save him we have to find an antidote for the Serum as quickly as we can."

Silence descends on the room. Time is not exactly on their side in this endeavour.

"How far have you got with decoding the Serum?" Gilli asks and looks expectantly at Gaius and Merlin.

"Not far enough to produce the antidote. There's something we seem to be missing." Merlin admits rather sheepishly. Breaking samples like he did this morning has also not been very helpful.

"Yes, there's a missing link to the formula that we cannot seem to figure out, no matter what we've tried." Gaius confirms reluctantly.

Developing an antidote will probably take long enough, although magic could help that along, but without the complete chemical composition of the Serum it will certainly never happen.

"So what we need to do is to get the proper formula, first of all." Alator sums up. "They must have a blueprint somewhere in the Ministry of Justice."

"Great." Gilli growls in exasperation. "We've never been able to get through those doors so far." Which has been due to the well-established fact that the Ministry is equipped with every security measure known to mankind. "Surely there's no way we could break in?"

"That's not what anyone's suggesting, Gilli." Will is pulling a face at his friend. "But we must either find a way of getting inside the Ministry to locate the formula or persuade Uther to hand it over voluntarily."

"Uther? Hand over the formula voluntarily? And YOU think I have lost my mind." Gilli looks at Will as if he's grown a purple beard, a pink tail and angel's wings in the same instant.

"Just think of it, Gilli. All we need is something we can bargain against the formula." Something that Uther would trade for it without thinking."

"There aren't so many things that precious to Uther." Gilli retorts sarcastically.

"Hold on, Gilli. Will's right." Morgana has been hit by a wave of inspiration. "And it's not so much a case of something rather than who."

All eyes turn to her and there is a sudden hush in the room.

"Arthur." Morgana states triumphantly.

"What are you saying, child?" Gaius looks at her sceptically, a bit like a school teacher after a pupil has given an unexpected answer.

"If we believe the press and all those reports we've seen over the years Arthur is the one person Uther genuinely cares about." Everyone around the table nods in agreement.

"Hence, he's the perfect bargaining tool." Morgana finishes in conclusion.

"Did I hear you right there, Morgana?" Alator throws in. "You want to trade Arthur against the formula?"

"That and handing over dad." Morgana's mouth is a tight line now, determination pouring out of her gaze. "Surely that's a deal Uther wouldn't be able to turn down?"

"Hold on! Hold on!" Merlin intervenes rather alarmed.

"Have you all gone off your head? " Merlin is raising the voice of reason. "Do you realize what this could mean for any of us and our families? Uther will do everything he has in his power to find those responsible for taking his son away from him. And if we ask him to exchange Arthur for dad, he will know exactly where to start looking. Let's face it. We will eventually be headhunted and none of our families would be safe anymore."

Pondering silence spreads in the room. Merlin is right. This plan would put not only them, but also all their families into mortal danger.

"So what do you think we should do then?" Gilli asks in a resigned voice.

Merlin stands up while maintaining eye contact with each person in the room.

"I think we should go back to what we said earlier. Maybe there's a way to get a hold of the formula before we move on to more extreme measures."

"And how are going to do that?" Morgana raises her brow. "Waltz in and ask for it?"

"Have any of you read the tabloids recently?" Alice who has only listened so far, leans forward and looks round the table with a sudden spark. It is not that she's a friend of the common press but she has bought a range of papers throughout the last week to make sure she got every little bit of information about her friend's arrest.

""Yes, there were a couple of reports that none of Arthur's PAs have lasted any length of time in recent years and that he's currently re-advertising the post." Gilli smirks.

"No wonder, the arrogant prat he is." Morgana mumbles and a few of them nod.

"A right spoilt, conceited bastard, from what I've heard, who is bedding every male alive in Camelot." Will agrees between gritted teeth. And then throws a glance at Gilli. "Never realized you were one for reading the tabloids."

Gilli raises two fingers and mouths "Shut up, Will." across the table.

"Stop bickering guys!" Merlin mumbles. "Thinking about it, this is perfect. A PA job in Arthur's office would not only get me right into the heart of the Justice Ministry but also as close to Arthur as possible. And he is the man responsible for the Serum." _Yes, this is ideal, indeed._ He thinks to himself. Infiltrating the Ministry will also get him close to his father and the place where the formula is most likely kept.

"Don't be ridiculous, Merlin. You have not the slightest clue what a PA does. Arthur would never dream of employing you! You are a biochemist, not a secretary." Gaius is not impressed and looks at Merlin with scepticism.

"I did study media for a couple of semesters." Merlin defends his idea . "Surely it can't be that difficult and as for the employing part – I am sure Gilli and Will can magic up a CV for me that makes me totally irresistible!"

Hunith heads pops up and her eyes are asking just one question: "Why you, Merlin? I can't lose both of you." Merlin swallows hard, because the plight of his mother is not lost on him, but how can he not volunteer for this job?

This is his father they are talking about and it is his fault that he's in prison to start with. He is the one with the magic and therefore he should be the one to put this right.

"I need to do this for him and myself, too, mum. And I'm the only one who's able to decipher a chemical formula." He puts his arm on his mother's in an attempt to pacify her.

"But…" Hunith has turned dreadfully pale. "If something happens to you, …" She does not finish her sentence for the second time in a row. Merlin may be a powerful warlock but he can still get shot, stabbed, beaten up or hurt in any other physical way.

She prefers to stop her train of thought at this point because she knows it will do her no good. She understands that Merlin has made up his mind and that there is no way she can change it.

"I know what you're thinking mum." Merlin puts his hand on his mother's and gently squeezes her fingers. "But this is going to work. It has to. Because we need to save dad. And once we have the formula, the Serum will be no threat to our kind any longer."

"Hear, hear." Alator agrees and the rest join in a quiet clap. "And if all fails we can always come back to Morgana's plan." And he winks at the young woman.

"So I take it we are agreed." Merlin takes a last check around the table. This is a big step up for the FMU. Saving innocent people is one thing, trying to infiltrate the Ministry of Justice and get up close to the heir of the Pendragon government is a completely different kettle of fish altogether.

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><p><strong>So that's Merlin set up to go. :)<strong>

**Feel free to review - I am looking forward to every comment, criticism etc!**


	3. Chapter 3: Arthur

**Many thanks to everyone who has favourited, followed or commented on this so far! There is nothing more motivating and encouraging!**

**The story is almost set up. We just need to see now what Arthur is up to!**

**And one more abbreviation:**

**FYEO file = for your eyes only file **

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><p><strong>A few days later<strong>

**TIRED.**

The five letters are written in capitals and cover the complete page on the note pad in front of Arthur. He stares at the word as if it has some hidden agenda. Stares at it until the letters blur before his eyes and the word reverberates in his brain all over again and again.

Tired. Tired. Tired.

There doesn't seem to be any room for anything else. It's that word and a huge vacuum where other thoughts, emotions and ideas should roam freely. Arthur rests his head wearily on both his hands and tries to make sense of this moment in time.

"Of course you are bloody tired." Gwaine had laughed at him earlier. "A night out on town and four pints of lager would do that to anyone!"

Yes, true. He did have too much alcohol the previous night and taking that dark haired fit bloke whose name he has forgotten, was it Barry or something, to his usual hotel room afterwards has undoubtedly not helped. He had hoped in vain that sex and alcohol would do the trick for him one more time and relax him enough to find some sleep in the aftermath. It was a pattern he had relied on for the last two years after all. But it had let him down big time last night.

Still, Arthur knows fine that this is not the true reason for his exhaustion. It has always been there. Okay, "always" is obviously an exaggeration because the proof that there was time when he felt like a normal human being is right before his eyes. His gaze gets drawn to the picture on the side of his momentous, oak desk. It shows a little blond boy giggling in the arms of an equally fair haired woman. He is supposedly five in that picture and his mother is tickling him. It is such a happy, carefree moment.

Not that he can consciously recall it, but he loves everything about it. The warm smile on his mum's face. Her hands all around him in a teasing, but protective manner. His joy and laughter, and the happiness that comes with feeling secure.

Arthur's lips twitch into a sad smile.

"Wish you were here, mum." He mutters and lovingly thumbs over her face.

Even if he cannot remember the occasion when this picture was taken, Arthur's pretty sure that he was healthy then. His eyes sparkle so vividly of joy – there's no way that he felt awful then.

When it all started? It is a mystery he's often tried to solve. To no effect. And he will not solve that puzzle now either because he's unable to concentrate on any coherent thought. He closes his eyes and lets his head fall on his chest slowly. The thumping inside has not stopped for hours. No matter what. It has made every thought an effort, every move a carefully constructed action. It's time for the pain to stop.

He opens the top drawer of the desk without looking and grabs the packet of painkillers. He pops two in his mouth and swallows them without water. It is quite a technique he has developed over the course of time. When he puts the tablets back his hand pushes against a bottle of hypospray.

Arthur sighs reluctantly. He should probably take this as well, while he is at it. It is his "happy spray". That's what he called it when he started taking it at the age of six. Or was it his father who named it to make it easier for him to get used to it? Arthur can't remember. In any case the name stuck and it sounds a hell of a lot better than "the ever present reminder of an incurable illness that is crippling his daily existence."

"This will help you to feel better." Edwin, the family doctor, had said and smiled at him when he had come home one day from primary school, complaining from a really sore head. And Arthur had reluctantly put his arm out to let the doctor administer the quick burst of medication through his skin. It had tingled but it had not been as sore as Arthur had expected.

He has been taking it ever since.

The hypospray became a daily routine from then on, a habit just like washing or getting dressed. And Arthur was glad of it because it worked well for many years. It seemed to calm him and enable him to focus better.

All that changed one day when he was twenty-five. When suddenly, from seemingly nowhere and for no particular reason he was plagued by headaches day after day. That was before the nightmares started. And the fatigue. And the irritability.

His father ordered Edwin to change the composition of his medication straight away –and there was a slight improvement to his symptoms to start with, but then it seemed to level off.

Arthur remembers those days as the beginning of the end of his life as he knew it. It is when his body started to fail him - at least this is how he perceives it.

So Arthur stopped taking his "happy spray" overnight out of protest.

"No point taking this when it doesn't work anyway!" He'd shouted in frustrated resentment at the doctor. God, had he been angry then! It was like being consumed by impotent rage – a rage directed at himself, at the doctors, at his father, at the world, but most of all at the hopeless situation he found himself in.

"You can't afford to give it up, Arthur." Edwin had tried to appease him. "Your condition won't allow it!"

"And what condition is that?" Arthur had shouted back at the top of his voice. "It hasn't even got a name!" He'd glowered at Edwin trying to will him into explaining what the fuck was wrong with him. But what was Edwin supposed to say?

"Please yourself." He'd eventually shrugged his shoulders and left him to it.

His refusal to continue his treatment resulted in Arthur ending up in bed for five days, oblivious to the world and in absolute agony.

Arthur smirks while the few thoughts in his head seem to tumble around in ever decreasing circles. Nothing has changed in the way he feels about all this now. Just that he's learnt the lesson that he can't afford to leave the happy spray out.

Over the years the feeling of intense tiredness has crept up on him like a stealthy predator out for a kill. It has tightly wrapped itself around him and his life and has slowly squashed everything that could have made his life enjoyable. Fun and laughter are things he hardly remembers because he's too bloody tired to appreciate them. And things get to you more easily when you feel permanently drained.

Of course there's the occasional smile, a snort, a giggle. But Arthur can't remember laughing out loud, right from his belly, from the bottom of his heart, and meaning it, for a long time. No wonder he's getting the reputation of being an arrogant, grumpy ass. It's obvious that his staff try to avoid him when it becomes clear that he has a really bad day. He is well aware of it and feels even more put out by it because there's nothing he can do to make himself feel better.

Arthur has tried to fight it. In fact he is fighting it on a daily basis. He loves sports and, at one time, he was the best Polo player in Albion. The exercise invigorated him and made him feel alive even if it was only for a short time and he had to suffer the consequences afterwards. Like dizziness and nausea.

Two years ago he had to give up Polo because of it. He took up the gym instead and attends with iron determination three times a week because he likes keeping fit. Unfortunately it doesn't change that he feels like a man of a hundred at the age of thirty two.

He knows that he pushes himself to his limits when he is at the gym. Not to show off, as some of his friends believe, but to simply prove to himself that he can make his body do things men at his age can, and that he's not as rotten on the inside as he continually feels.

No matter how many doctors and specialists he has seen over the years – none of them could ever determine what was actually wrong with him. Not one was able to give that bane of his life a name. On paper his test results told him that he was as healthy as the next man and that was what the doctors had confirmed again and again. It is unbelievable. In a way it's a cruel joke.

The five letters of the word in front of Arthur get blurrier and blurrier as drowsiness sets in. Arthur wants to drown that feeling of eternal insomnia and that he's lost in the middle of a maze with no way out.

And then, finally, Arthur drops off as his body demands the rest it so desperately needs. It is pure relief when his eyes eventually close completely and his head sinks onto the desk while his mind closes down. He will have this minute. Just a minute…..

"Arthur!" The accusing voice of his father rips Arthur cruelly out of his sleep.

"Get a grip of yourself, for Goodness sake." Uther stands in front of him, eyes piercing and brows furrowed.

Arthur drowsily sits up in his chair, automatically straightens his tie and, like on the push of a button, replies. "Sorry, Father."

"Alcohol last night?" Uther enquires coolly, and Arthur, knowing better than to lie and far too drowsy to whip up a believable fib, nods reluctantly.

"Sex, too?" Uther continues and Arthur just sighs, which in itself is answer enough.

"Did the tabloids get any pictures? Damn. Arthur rebels on the inside.

_This is like a blooming inquisition_. He thinks grumpily. He manages to shake his head to answer his father's question and reminds himself dutifully that after being at the centre of at least three major scandals in as many years in which Arthur has been lovingly nicknamed "Party Arty", his father is probably entitled to give him this lecture.

Uther audibly grits his teeth. "Look, Arthur. You know, I don't care what you do in your own time. I think I've been quite … generous with your … preferences and excesses over the years." Uther stops in order to breathe in deeply.

_True, father. _ Arthur admits inwardly. _We've never talked about me being gay. Never. I don't even know what you really think about it. _ All Arthur does know is that Uther has never questioned him about it. Strange really considering that Uther must want to continue the Pendragon line. And yet he's never mentioned marriage to Arthur or going out with some well-connected young lady.

Not that Arthur would complain about that. But he has often wondered why his father kept this eerie silence. For now though Uther's seeking his gaze and then continues.

"BUT... " and Arthur feels a really big "but" coming on. "What you do outside your job cannot affect your performance right here. Or drag the reputation of this government and our family into the dirt. I've no idea how often I have to repeat this to get it into your head?"

Uther gives his son a side way glance and he inwardly cringes. Arthur's handsome face is pale and his red rimmed eyes are heavy and darkened by deep shadows underneath. It looks as if he's lost weight again. A pang of guilt, even if it just lasts a short second, runs through Uther's heart. Maybe he is too hard on the boy, pushing him like this when he knows that the illness is getting to him and that his actions are in some way a means of desperation?

Uther dismisses the thought as quickly as it has appeared in his head. He's got some of his closest people working on his son's medication all the time. And eventually Arthur will be fine. All he can do is keep him on track until then. That is what he believes. It is what he has to believe because anything else would be inconceivable. Everything will work out in the end.

But in his current state of mind Arthur can't help to feel like a five year old that has been told off. He knows at the bottom of his heart that his father has a point and that so far, he has been lucky that the public has seen his slip ups more of an amusement rather than taking it against him. And he's mature enough to realize that his reason for being annoyed has to do with the fact that his father has put his finger on a sore spot.

As if Uther has read his mind he carries on in a much more lenient way. "You're getting too old for behaving like that, Arthur. At least when you're out there, in the full view of the people and the press. The public have been forgiving so far, but it's getting to the stage where they want to see what leader they'll have in a few years' time. They'll want to know that they're safe and in good hands in the future. We don't want to rattle their belief in this government."

Ouch. Now that hurts. In his defence Arthur notes mentally that he HAS been more careful in how much he drinks and who he has taken to bed since the last show down with the media. He's also kept a much lower profile than before, but obviously not low enough.

"But you know that I need…." Arthur starts, but his father cuts him short.

"Look, son." He starts, puts his hands on Arthur's shoulders and turns the young man round to fully face him. "I understand there are things you need to get the relaxation your body requires, but please, just try to keep your …. activities private. Right?"

Arthur nods quietly. Of course his father is right. His way of life has been getting out of hand recently and even though he's made some effort to keep it under control he can't afford to look like an irresponsible drunk to the citizens of Camelot any longer.

He has been brought up to love Camelot and Albion. And he does. More than anything else. And his work means everything to him.

"Look." Uther says. "This is the kind of stuff the public want to see more of." And he tabs a couple of buttons on the interactive glass screen of Arthur's computer. "This has just been on the news."

"_Safety chip set to reduce petty crime by 20 percent within weeks!"_

Arthur swallows. It's not often his father gives him praise, particularly not when they have been "discussing" his life style just a minute earlier. And he appreciates it and mumbles a "Thanks." in Uther's direction.

The chip has been his baby and he's infinitely proud of it. It is a quick and easy way to call the police for support by a voice activated device and it should make Camelot a safer place to stay. The first batch of chips will be out on sale within the next week and he's looking forward to seeing it improve people's lives.

"You know that I only want the best for you?" Uther mumbles quietly and a bit embarrassed because emotions are not a topic high on his list.

"I do, father." Arthur gives a small smile. "I just feel so bloody awful, it …"

Uther awkwardly claps Arthur's shoulder and interrupts his son. "Yes, yes. We have been through this before."

"Anyway, just here for a short social call." Uther adds and then makes to leave. "And I sent you the file with the latest cases before I came. I need them sorted by the end of the day." And then he is gone.

Arthur runs his hands through his hair and rubs his eyes and sighs. Why does he feel like shit now? His father does care about him and worries about his health continuously. He has Edwin and his team working on his medication permanently, trying to find a cur,e and he looks after him in every way. _"Maybe that is it?"_ Arthur wonders for a second. "_Maybe his mollycoddling is getting to me?"_

Arthur gets up and stretches and then goes into the bathroom attached to his office to splash cold water onto his face. He has no idea how long he's slept. His account of time is generally quite dodgy when he feels like this, but he must have had about an hour. Enough to keep him going, anyway.

When Arthur returns to his desk he checks the files George, his father's PA, dropped off earlier. Arthur's not surprised that they're all neatly presented and in order and he chuckles somewhat bitterly. George has listed the case files meticulously and attached little notes at the side of each document telling him in detail what he's supposed to do with it. As if he doesn't know.

Arthur grumbles. He may not be running on one hundred percent at the moment but this is an insult to his efficiency and intelligence, in his opinion anyway. How is he supposed to grow into the leadership role he will inherit from his father one day if he gets smothered with condescending "advice" all the time?

"Hi, boss. You alright?" Gwaine sticks his head round the corner with a cheeky grin, wiping his flowing brown locks out of his eyes. Arthur notices the concerned look in his face which defies the chirpiness in his voice, but chooses to ignore it.

"As alright as it gets, Gwaine." Arthur grins at his friend. "Perfect timing as usual."

"Yeah I saw Uther leave." Gwaine retorts good heartedly and sits down on Arthur's desk.

"Look what has just been broadcast." He fiddles on his tablet with a wide content grin on his face.

Athur watches the news clip about the launch of the Keep Safe chip for the second time within minutes.

"It looks great, Gwaine. That's why my father's just been here."

Gwaine pulls up his eye brows in pretend shock. "Uther's come to compliment you? Wow."

"Not me. Us. You played a vital role to get this done."

There's no way Arthur's going to take the credit for chip alone. It would have never happened without Gwaine who is not only a loyal friend and the most outrageous flirt Camelot 's ever seen – well maybe him excluded – he's also the nerdiest computer geek Arthur has ever known. The man's pure genius and has the touch of a god when it comes to computer technology.

"But you're the one who's come up with the idea." Gwaine smiles warmly and chuckles.

"Get off it, Gwaine. We both know how much time and effort you invested in this." Arthur's eyes are smiling now.

"To change the topic slightly, have you checked all my mails and appointments for the rest of the week?" Arthur throws him an apologetic look.

"Sure. Everything's under control, Arthur." Gwaine nods. "You know I don't mind helping out while you are searching for a new PA, but …. We have had the emergency with the alarm system at Lamia Farm and they really need me there if you want it sorted before the end of the week."

Arthur guiltily blushes and mumbles something like, "Really sorry, mate," under his breath. It is after all his fault that Gwaine is kind of doing two jobs at the same time at the moment. Not that he does not get compensated generously, still…

"I've sent out adverts at the beginning of this week. Shouldn't be long." He tries to comfort his friend, but Gwaine just chuckles.

"You reckon you will get any applications after the way you treated the last three?" He teases.

Arthur looks genuinely astounded. Surely there are thousands of people out there in Albion who would kill to get a top job like being Arthur Pendragon's PA? No matter what.

Gwaine seems to have read his thoughts and interprets the surprised look on his face correctly. "As much as I hate to take it to you: You've got yourself a reputation out there, Arthur."

"Arse!" Arthur throws the pen in Gwaine's direction and lets out a short snort. "I am NOT that bad." And, as an afterthought. "What reputation?"

Gwaine shakes his head in exasperation. "Face it, Arthur. You're the ultimate nightmare. Either you destroy your PAs' confidence with your moody arrogance or you shag them until you've had enough of them and send them off to a better life far far away. Neither makes for a very good image."

Arthur sighs. And again. He's not quite sure why his recent PAs have been such a disaster. Timothy had been great at his job, but then appeared one day with tears in eyes mumbling "I can't take this anymore", virtually threw his letter of resignation at Arthur and then disappeared never to be seen again.

Gerard and Jarid had been different. Maybe not as organized and efficient as Timothy, but incredible fit and rather … forthcoming on what they were prepared to do for him. Unfortunately Gerard had been lured away by the press and had to be bribed into silence while Jarid had thought that Arthur was as much in love with him as he was. Once he started talking of setting house up together Arthur had had no choice but to finish it before his delusions could ruin him completely.

So okay, he can see Gwaine's point but surely his bad luck with PAs was not his fault only.

"I promise I will find someone and get you back to your own office asap." He does try to sound apologetic and Gwaine gets it.

"No need to grovel, mate! But your word in my ear!" Gwaine is almost out of the door when he turns round again. "Did you get any sleep?" He asks quietly and smiles at Arthur when the blond nods.

"Good on you." Gwaine sounds relieved. "And try to get more because you are turning into a right grumpy bugger!"

"Thanks, Gwaine. Now that's really comforting to hear." Arthur pulls a face and expects his friend to leave. But Gwaine is hanging on, suddenly looking at him quite earnestly.

"Seriously though, Arthur. People have started talking about your moods and your touchiness." And when Arthur throws him a look indicating that this is what employees have always done, he adds gingerly. "More than normal, you know."

Arthur holds his breath. This is not good. Real rumours can be extremely damaging if you're playing in politics, and once they start spreading it might not be possible to stop them. There's a difference between people complaining jokingly and viciously trying to damage your reputation.

"Just a word of warning. That's all." Gwaine winks at him trying to take the edge of his comment, but Arthur takes it for what it was. The advice of a loyal friend who doesn't like to see him getting into trouble. And he's grateful for such honesty.

"Thanks, mate." Just before Gwaine's out of the door, Arthur asks, "You put the staff meeting into next week's schedule?"

"Yes, sir!" Gwaine shouts with fake reverence and as he closes the door behind him there's a ping on Arthur's PC screen. It's a message from Uther.

"Scheduled five candidates for PA. Interviews tomorrow. Starting 10 a.m. Names and details attached."

Arthur freezes and then his temper flares. He can't believe that his father has taken the liberty to dump five people for an interview in his office without giving him the chance to take a pick of the long list first. Assuming there was a long list.

He hasn't even been informed that Uther got involved in this. It is yet another example of how Uther shows him that, in the end, he is the one who has the final say in things that matter. Despite how well Arthur has done in his job, despite the fact that the public love him, scandals and all, and despite the obvious loyalty his staff show him. Well, so far at least.

Arthur grits his teeth and speaks an acknowledging mail on to his computer. There's no point of arguing over this. Maybe it's for the better anyway. His record with PAs can't exactly be commended.

Arthur sighs for the umpteenth time. His father means well, he's sure of it, even if he shows his affection in strange and unexpected ways at times. He probably perceives taking charge of Arthur's employment problems as a favour to his son, not as the intrusion it actually feels like.

Then Arthur returns to the files Uther has transferred and starts processing them. Each folder contains the details of one criminal that's been convicted within the last week. It states the Court's verdict, lists what the punishment entails and finally makes a recommendation in which Correction Institute the prisoner should go.

He opens the FYEO file, types his password and enters all the data to create a record for each person. It's been an unusually busy week for crime. There has been a couple of thefts, one break in and one bank robbery. But all these pale before the incident where a man freed a family of MUs who were on their way to Lamia House.

Arthur tabs on the personal details button of the man, curious to see who had enough guts – or insanity - to confront a lorry full of highly trained security guards. The photo of the criminal pops up and although he's seen the man in the docks during his trial, the picture startles him.

Arthur checks out his features and gets caught in the intense blue of the man's eyes. Strange how much strength and determination glow in them. And how much kindness. The man looks almost regal in the way he holds himself. And there seems to be an air of quiet assurance and inner strength around him. Odd for a man that is facing the most severe punishment Camelot can bestow on someone. Very odd.

Arthur shakes off the weird uneasy feeling and reminds himself to concentrate. Eagerly he types in the name and address of the man:

Balinor Emerson, 25 Ascetir Drive, Ealdor Estate, 37785 Camelot

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><p><strong>So there we go, ready for Arthur and Merlin's worlds to collide!<strong>

**I am always grateful for any comments you might have! :)**


	4. Chapter 4: Loggerheads

**Many thanks to all of you who left a comment for the previous chapter and those who have started to follow or favourited the story over the last week!**

**I also wanted to say thank you to my two beta-readers at this point, who put up continuously with my moans and groans and are incredibly patient with me! So a big hug and a HUGE thank you to starglen and Elena A! You are wonderful!**

**I hope you will enjoy the next instalment!**

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><p>Merlin stares motionless at the newspaper clippings in front of him and tries once again to get accustomed to the facts. Balinor was injected with the Serum the day after the FMU meeting, just as they had feared, turning their attempt to save him into a race against time. His heart is heavy with the knowledge that his father is suffering from the effects of the drug in the depth of a prison cell, alone and cut off from the rest of the world. For convicted MUs are not allowed any visitors for three months following their verdict. Frustration, anger and acute worry for his father's welfare threaten to overwhelm Merlin for a second before he reins himself in. There's no point letting his emotion rule his thinking – the best way to help his father is to concentrate on the task in hand.<p>

He settles down on his bed and looks at the folder in front of him for the last time. Will and Gilli have compiled everything that there is to know about Arthur Pendragon in record time and he's spent most of one week studying reports, news clips and videos about the man who's the ticket to his father's life.

Not that he's starting from scratch. Everybody in Albion has followed Arthur's life from day one. They celebrated when he was born, they saw him take his first steps and develop into a lively young boy.

When his mother died in a tragic accident at their house when he was five, the country showered him with compassion and kindness. No boy of that age should lose his mother, was the common consent. News about the Govenor's son was few and far between during the time he spent in boarding school. But when he graduated, there was much talk about his top grades and his prowess as a sportsman.

Even if there were discernible signs of arrogance, the reputation for being a softer, kinder version of the old Pendragon, was born the day he saved one of his friends, Gwaine, from drowning in a freezing lake and was most reluctant to take any credit for it. Arthur's words "Anyone would have done it," were splashed across the headlines the next day.

The press and the public have always loved Arthur, Blond, athletic, handsome, and if reports can be believed – a complete charmer - it's no wonder that he is adored by most. And he has not long been voted the best looking bachelor in Albion for the fifth year running. Where ever he appears both, men and women alike, swarm around him, cumbering for his attention.

The young Pendragon's reputation as a playboy is legendary and surprisingly the people of Camelot have been very understanding about it. When Arthur came out at the age of eighteen there was a brief outcry of shock and disbelief but that was only short lived. Rather than being vilified the majority of citizens rallied behind him in sympathetic support. Naturally there were those who watched with raised eyebrows and asked questions about the impact of this for the future. Their voices were silenced quickly by those who stood behind Arthur.

Arthur's love affair with the press was tested sorely though when his apparent like for partying became the centre of attention for the media in the last three years in which alcohol and sex seemed to become a major part of his life. Once one "kiss and tell story" after the other started appearing in the papers and even cautious voices began to wonder whether Arthur Pendragon had gone off the rails. And his affairs with two of his latest PAs did nothing to disperse that rumour.

"Not exactly a keeper, are you?" Merlin mumbles and glances at a photograph of Arthur at a charity event a few years ago. He has to admit that Arthur is a very attractive man. He would have to be blind not to see that. His infectious laugh, with his head thrown back and his face scrunched up with hilarity, has often been caught on camera. One of them was even The Picture of the Year when Arthur was twenty-eight. It is a gorgeous laugh, Merlin decides, before he stops himself in mid thought, happily ignoring a tiny knot forming in his gut. What the heck? He's got lost too easily in something that's completely irrelevant to his task.

What he needs to find out is what Arthur is like. Who his friends are, how he works and what he enjoys doing. Only then will he be able to gain his trust to a degree where he can succeed in his mission.

One thing is clear, however: Although seemingly not quite like his father, Arthur does follow his creed when it comes to magic. His stance against the use of it is firm and he has been reported saying that the Serum is a godsend to rehabilitate MUs into a normal life. How can he possibly lie like this to all the people who think so highly of him? As Justice Minister he is in charge of the Serum and responsible for its usage. He must know of the drug's dire consequences and how it really affects sorcerers.

Merlin's face hardens and he automatically grabs the round pendant on the chain on his neck Freya gave him for his last birthday, as he always does when he looks for comfort. His fingers skim over it carefully and the warm feeling evokes the memory of a cheerful day long ago. How happy had they been and how wonderfully oblivious that their life together would end so soon!

Merlin grabs the triskelion for a minute and lets his mind wander. He pictures Freya's bubbly face and her tender smile. Her face is framed by her brown curls and her eyes are twinkling with joy. He still remembers every detail of it. "Freya", he mumbles and can almost feel her lips brushing against his.

No. Merlin pushes the memory away as quickly as it has overwhelmed him. There's only pain and resentment to be had if he lets this get out of hand. But he cannot help reminding himself of the promise he gave Freya before she died in his arms. "I will find the man who did this," he'd whispered , heart-broken and choked by tears. "I will get the justice you deserve."

Merlin closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. He wishes Morgana had not spoken about it the night before when she left to go back to university.

"You have as much reason to hate the Pendragons as me." She'd said and looked at him with knowing eyes. "Not only for dad's sake, but for Freya's, too."

Merlin has buried his pain for all those months so carefully and he's not keen to move the lid of the box that contains all the anguish and anger her death have left behind. No, this is something he doesn't want to deal with, now even less than before.

He quickly opens the self-help book on "How to be the perfect PA" which he has sped through twice already. One more turn cannot do any harm.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Merlin is early. But that's what a good PA does. At least that is what the book said. He walks towards the Ministry of Justice and checks himself for the last time in a huge shop window.

He has owned the suit he's wearing since his 21st birthday and even he can tell that he has outgrown it just a little bit. The trousers' legs are on the shorter side and it is probably better if he does not attempt to button up the jacket. It is not too bad though, he's telling himself – he's certain that he looks totally respectable. And the borrowed purple tie from Gilli looks rather smart … ish. Merlin can't help grinning. Formal wear is not exactly his forte, so this will have to do.

He is getting closer to the entrance when he spots a group of building workers to the right hand side of the Ministry who are in deep conversation with a few suited men. There's a lot of pointing and waving towards the big hole in the ground that has been cordoned off. From the strange crackling noises, Merlin detects that there must be some kind of problem with electrical lines. He vaguely remembers something mentioned on the news reel the previous night.

Merlin is just about to pass them when a man in jogging gear and a hood over his head appears out of nowhere on the pavement in front of him. Merlin would have not taken any notice of him, had he not sensed a presence of magic. Suddenly alert, he watches the man deviating from the pavement to cross the lawn in front of the building site, heading towards the congregation at the pitch hole.

"This is not right." Merlin mumbles to himself and instinctively heads after the bloke who is closing the distance between him and the group quickly.

"What are you up to?" Merlin wonders, but he can tell that he's heading towards one person in particular, an older guy in a suit. As the jogger approaches his target he reaches out with the intent of grabbing him. Merlin understands immediately what the mystery bloke intends to do. If there's open electricity in that hole on the ground, as it appears to be, anybody falling in will be seriously injured at the best.

Merlin has almost caught up with the jogger, but he isn't close enough to stop him. Without thinking, his eyes turn golden and then time slows. Not a lot, just a little bit, to give him the chance to get to the man. Surely nobody will notice?

Then the jogger thrusts his arm forward to assault the man and give him that deadly push. Just in time Merlin leaps at him and tackles him down to the ground before he can do any damage.

Merlin hazily hears voices shouting in excitement behind him while he's rolling on the muddy ground trying to hold down a young man who puts up an admirable fight. When Merlin pushes him back on the ground hard, his hood falls off and his face becomes visible.

"Daegal!" Merlin hisses breathlessly through his teeth. "What the …?" Why would Morgana's old school mate be right here at this instant and act like that? In shocked surprise he lets go for a second and Daegal, having the advantage of youth and speed, wrangles out from Merlin's hold and turns round to run.

By now the rest of the crowd have surrounded the two men and when Daegal slips out of Merlin's grip they all move in an attempt to stop him. A second later they are all pushed back by an invisible force.

"He's using magic." Everybody is shouting and screaming in panic now. Two of the workmen start chasing after the young sorcerer who's racing across the square in front of the Ministry and they start catching up on him.

Merlin takes a split second decision. What Daegal intended to do was dreadfully wrong, but he is Morgana's friend and one of his kin. If he is caught now, his fate is sealed.

_No way I'm letting you die._ He quickly flicks his golden eyes at the men running after the young sorcerer and suddenly one stumbles over his own feet and brings the other man down when he tries to hold onto him to keep his balance. A tiny sigh of relief escapes Merlin when he sees Daegal getting away.

The young man is hardly out of view when a swarm of security men stream into the street surrounding the Ministry, but by now it is far too late – Daegal has vanished in the bustle of the streets.

Everything's happened so fast that Merlin has had no time to think, and as he is getting up from the slippery ground, he suddenly becomes aware of what he has done. Just like Daegal he's used magic and even worse, right outside the Ministry of Justice. The mumbling of his lips casting the spell, the golden flash of his eyes , were most likely captured on CCTV for eternity. Great. But unlike the younger man he is very much present to receive the judgement for his actions.

"Promise me not to use magic when you are there." Hunith had asked him before he'd left. Her eyes had been full of pain. "It is simply too dangerous! I can't bear to lose you both to the Serum," she'd whispered as she held her son in a tight embrace.

"I promise." Merlin had assured her calmly. "On principle. But there might be times when it is necessary."

"Only to save yourself, as a last resort." Hunith had tried to bargain and Merlin had agreed. What else could he have done? How can he abstain from using his powers when he can save a person's life? Or in this case two.

However, performing magic in broad daylight outside the Ministry of Justice, is not very bright. Merlin presses his lips together tightly and quietly shakes his head at his own stupidity. He has not even got as far as the damn ministry and he's already broken his promise and put himself into danger.

A rather stiff-looking bald man walks up to him just then and looks at him sternly.

"You are a right mess, young man," he says disapprovingly and Merlin looks down his front to find his suit trousers covered in mud and grass stains. Earth is caking around the knee area and it seems there's a rip at the back of the trousers. Some buttons of his shirt are missing, his tie is beyond repair and the sleeves of his jacket look as they have been used to scrub a floor.

"For Goodness sake, George." Another man has followed shortly behind the George fellow. "That man has saved my life. If I'd gone down that ditch…" And he glances at the hole in the ground rather horrified. When he takes a step further out of George's shadow, Merlin's heart stops beating for a second.

It seems he's just saved Uther Pendragon's life.

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Arthur is rushing down the corridor towards his office when he gets stopped by a call from behind him.

"Arthur!" When he stops and turns round he finds Percival who has just caught up with him. Percival is the Head of Security in the Ministry and directly responsible for his safety.

"Arthur." He repeats and then gasps, a little bit out of breath. "I just wanted to have a quick word."

"Sure! Any problems?"

"On the contrary! Karyn walked again for the first time yesterday." And Percival beams as if Christmas has come early.

"I am so pleased to hear that." Arthur smiles and claps Percival's shoulder.

"I would have never thought it possible, you know, after the accident." Percival's suddenly all serious. He had been sure then that his wife would spend the rest of her life in a wheel chair. Until Arthur offered his help and organised a place for Karyn in an exclusive private sanatorium where she was treated by the best doctors and physiotherapists. And now she will be able to walk again. Thanks to the man in front of him.

"I can never thank you enough for …" Percival starts but Arthur interrupts him promptly.

"Stop right there, mate." Arthur squeezes Percival's shoulder. "I am glad I could help, right. That's it." And he smiles broadly at him, wondering not for the first time how a man as huge and strong as Percy could be such a softie underneath it all.

"I need to go. Got some candidates for the PA job." Arthur rolls his eyes and turns to leave.

He wants to skim through the files quickly again, before the interviews start. Just as he sits down at his desk to open the document his mobile rings.

"I have found your PA. Just send the other hopefuls away!" Uther shouts down the phone. Arthur can hardly believe it. He grits his teeth so hard that his jaw muscles ache. After being presented with a list of candidates by his father, he's not even going to get the privilege of picking the person he likes.

Arthur stands up abruptly and his chair shoots back when he moves away from the desk. This is unbelievable. The last thing he wants is a man at his side, chosen purely by Uther. He wants someone HE can trust and relate to, not some spineless bootlicker who would do anything to get into the Governor's good books.

Ten minutes later his father appears at his door with an extremely scruffy and dirty looking man in a badly fitting suit, no doubt one of the workers from downstairs.

"So where is that mystery guy you're so fond of?" Arthur growls, hardly succeeding in hiding his anger. At least he can express in some way how much all this infuriates him.

Uther's brows furrow and his temper is rising deep below. His son has no business talking to him in a tone like this, particularly not in front of employees. He pushes the man next to him towards Arthur and introduces him.

"This is Merlin Emrys. He was scheduled for the interview with you today."

Arthur gives Merlin a passing glance and tries to remember any details of the guy he might have seen on his application form. When his mind draws a blank he vaguely glances over the man. All he can see is a tall, gangly, big eared man with an unruly mop of dark hair who is covered in dirt from top to toe.

"Did he crawl on all fours across the ground to squirm his way into your favours?" Arthur is scathing. "He certainly looks it."

"This man…" Uther says rather pompously, "…has actually saved my life."

"Saved your life? Him?" Arthur points at Merlin in the most condescending way.

"Are you joking? Seems he cannot even save his own butt!" He inwardly grins when he sees Merlin's hand shooting to his bottom in a faint attempt to cover up the giant rip in his trousers by placing his hand over it, and the radiant blush on Merlin's face even transcends the layer of mud on his cheeks. Arthur cannot help but feeling smug.

"He has shown incredible presence of mind." Uther sounds pleased, completely ignoring Merlin's embarrassment as he explains in a few sentences what happened earlier.

Arthur turns round to look out the huge glass window overlooking Camelot. He has long learnt to give up once his father has made up his mind about something.

"Merlin Emrys is your new PA. That is my last word." Uther glowers at his son. Merlin has done him a favour and he owes him one back. Giving him the job he came for is an easy tit for tat and Arthur will bear the guy. At least for six months. If he's no good he can always fire him and employ somebody else then.

And with that the Govenor stomps out of Arthur's office. The two men are left behind and silence settles between them.

Arthur is aware that Merlin is waiting for him to speak, to say something that's going to clarify their position. He decides rather huffily to make this as difficult for the man in front of him as he can.

He notices that Merlin's biting his lip when he glances at him sideways for a second. _Nervous, is he? _Arthur smirks in quiet satisfaction, realizing simultaneously that his behaviour is probably not quite fair. Well, there's no 'probably' about it, if he is honest with himself. However, his annoyance at this whole bloody affair outweighs any other emotion at this moment in time.

When Merlin addresses him first, Arthur looks up rather startled. This is quite unexpected and unprecedented. Surely etiquette demands that the guy has to wait until he's spoken to?

"Looks like I've got the job then." Merlin says and his voice is challenging him to claim otherwise.

Arthur's face hardens. This is great. The guy hasn't been ten minutes in his office and he's already rubbing it in that his father is treating him like a five year old. Arthur stares out of the window. He needs to compose himself and swallow his anger before he's able to speak.

"Well, it looks like you have." He finally responds, keeping his voice cool and indifferent as he walks up to his desk. "You'll have to do."

"So, _Mer_lin" Arthur draws the name out in the most condescending way on purpose. Maybe there's a way of talking Merlin out of this, he wonders and strategically plans his next move.

"It seems that I'm stuck with you." He pauses and sighs deliberately. "Your initial contract is for six months after which your position will be reviewed. Not that I expect it to last any longer." He adds rather flippantly.

"Me neither." Merlin replies quickly which leaves Arthur stumped for a moment yet again. Bloody hell! This guy will not get the better of him!

"Not only a hero, but a comedian as well!" Arthur tut-tuts sarcastically. "What other natural gifts do you have, Merlin!"

"Manners,…., sir." The cheeky retort startles Arthur into silence. He is dumbstruck and strangely impressed at the same time. No one has ever dared to put him into place like that. Not even when he was having one of his really bad days. He opens his mouth to speak, but stops short when their eyes lock.

He has never seen eyes that shade of dark blue. Although … a passing memory of eyes in a similar shade staring at him somewhere, at some point, flashes past, before he falls back into the depth of blue in front of him. Merlin's eyes are more expressive than words could ever be and just now they stare at him in silent accusation. Arthur takes a quick breath and REALLY looks at Merlin for the first time.

A bagful of butterflies erupts in his stomach. Merlin is gorgeous.

His eyes are framed by the longest, most seductive eyelashes. The cheekbones are kicking out right at him while the strong chin is perfection itself. Arthur's gaze follows the never ending neck and before he can help it he pictures his lips caressing the soft spot below Merlin's ear. Those generously sized ears, barely covered by the unruly dark hair scream to be explored and the lips…

Merlin's lips are breath taking. Full and strong and tempting. Arthur involuntarily moves a step towards the other man when he becomes aware that they have looked at each other far longer than politeness requires.

Arthur drags his eyes away and focuses on the picture behind Merlin instead. What on earth is he doing! What is he thinking about? His whole body is flushed and aroused in desire, and the guy has hardly spoken to him! Is he getting that desperate?

This is ridiculous. Arthur is scolding himself and gets angry at his own weakness. And he reminds himself who this Merlin guy is. Someone Uther has just planted in his office for the next six months. No doubt he will be reporting back to his father every week.

Arthur is doing well working himself back into his anger. He isn't going to get beaten by the indecently gorgeous man in front of him. Damn it.

Distracted and momentarily thrown off track, Arthur, who was intent on putting Merlin in his place, has somehow lost the red line. Right. He certainly needs to show the man who's the boss here. The sooner, the better.

"Right Merlin." He growls hoarsely. "First thing to remember here is that I give the orders. Understood?"

"Of course, sir." Merlin sounds obedient, but Arthur is pretty sure that he can detect an undertone of defiance in the words.

"And you better bin that rag you are wearing." Arthur continues. "Go to Salaries on the way down and ask Elena to give you an advance and the address of my tailor to get yourself something decent to wear. "

"I don't need any favours, sir." Merlin replies drily. "I'm quite capable of clothing myself."

"Save your breath and do it, Merlin." Arthur retorts dryly, giving Merlin another once over. "Seems you not only need the money to buy a decent suit but some serious fashion advice, too."

"Are you always that gracious, sir?" Merlin definitely has a talent for saying one thing and meaning another, Arthur notes at the back of his mind. His words are polite, yet they're screaming "Arrogant bastard!" subliminally. It is quite an art, actually, and in some way a very refined kind of insult.

_Clever_. Arthur admits. The man in front of him is not only showing intelligence, but also that he doesn't scare easily. Somebody who will not shy away when the going gets tough. Arthur eyes Merlin from the side in appreciation.

For some odd reason he's starting to enjoy this unorthodox conversation, and not only because his body feels drawn to the guy like a magnet. There's something about Merlin he can't quite name, but it is there nonetheless.

"I'll be as gracious as you deserve, Merlin." Arthur answers sarcastically. If Merlin likes to play games he can do that, too. And in this game he has the upper hand to start with, so picking up the gauntlet will hardly cause him any damage.

An unexpected grin spreads over his face and he is slightly taken aback when Merlin's eyebrows shoot up at the sight of it as if he'd seen something quite miraculous. Arthur shakes the thought and continues.

"You realize that there's an apartment on top of this building that comes with the job? All the senior employees live here. I do expect you to move in as soon as you can. Preferably at the beginning of next week." And his voice leaves no doubt that this is what Merlin's supposed to do.

"I have a perfectly nice flat on the south side of Avalon." Arthur notes that Merlin sounds decidedly unhappy about this. Hmm. This could mean progress!

"I need to have my PA 24/7 and living in the apartment next door guarantees that I can always call upon you when I need you." Arthur exaggerates, hoping that putting it on thickly will persuade Merlin to call it a day.

All he gets is a slight stiffening in Merlin's gait and a perplexed look, followed by an almost inaudible, "Aren't I lucky?" that Merlin's muttering under his breath.

"I heard that." Arthur picks up the challenge and searches the other man's gaze.

"If you don't like the terms….you know where the door is." He raises his brow provocatively and hopes that this will crunch it for him. If Merlin quits now he will be free to choose is own PA after all.

"I don't think your father would appreciate finding out that you forced me out of this job before I even had a chance to start." Merlin says it slowly and with intent, as he stares at Arthur defiantly.

_Damn, he's good_. Arthur is both annoyed and impressed that Merlin has been able to read his intentions so easily. Arthur clenches his teeth. So, as usual, he will have no choice but to bow to Uther's will. Steeling himself, he decides to be the professional he is.

"Welcome to the Ministry, Merlin." He makes a feeble attempt at being polite and stretches out his hand to shake Merlin's.

Merlin lifts his hands with hesitation, but then seizes Arthur's hand firmly.

What happens next is a complete shock. It is as if a low current of electricity flashes through them as soon as they touch. The pulsating energy leaves Arthur's hand and arm tingling and oddly detached from the rest of his body.

For an instant he stares at Merlin in bewildered surprise, unable to utter even a word. What the heck was that? Where did it come from? Why did this happen? Arthur can neither answer any of these questions nor explain them. So he does the only thing he can possibly do. He decides to pretend the incident never happened.

"I'll expect you here on Monday morning, bang on 8 am. In the meantime I'll make sure somebody will contact you about getting your belongings moved to your new apartment. I'd also like you to speak to Percival in Security to organize a date for your in-depth security check up."

"Monday. 8 o'clock, sir." Merlin repeats, seemingly reverent, as he heads towards the door. There's one more thing though that Arthur cannot possibly let go.

"Merlin!" A mischievous smile plays on his lips and his eyes are twinkling with suppressed laughter.

"Unicorns?" Arthur chuckles quietly, his eyes wandering suggestively to Merlin's backside where a pair of brightly coloured and boldly patterned pants peek out.

"Really?"

Merlin blushes violently and his hand shoots down south to cover the tear on the back of his trousers yet again. In the process, however, he doesn't look where he is going and bumps into the doorframe with aplomb, almost ending up flat on his face.

His ineptitude renders Arthur absolutely speechless and then causes him to explode with laughter a second later. This is the funniest thing he's seen for a long time and Merlin's perplexed face makes it even more amusing. Arthur is shaking with hilarity and Good God does that feel good! His whole body has relaxed and the foul mood Uther has put him in evaporates in thin air.

"You might want your eyes checked on the way to the tailor's. If you can find him, that is." He snorts, wiping away a tear of laughter from his cheek. Somehow the atmosphere has lightened and for the first time in ages he feels more like his old self.

Merlin rolls his eyes and turns to leave mumbling something under his breath, but Arthur is pretty sure that he's made out the words "vindictive" and "prat" in the babble.

"I heard that, too!" He shouts after Merlin and then grins.

Maybe this Merlin is not going to be as bad as he initially feared.

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><p><strong>See you next week! I'd love to hear from you and what you think so far!<strong>


	5. Chapter 5: The mole

**Glad that so many of you enjoyed the last chapter! Thank you for the comments, follows and favourites! I know I probably shouldn't mention this every time at the beginning of a chapter, but I am so pleased about your response!**

**So here is the next instalment! :)**

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><p>It is Monday morning and at five to eight Merlin steps out of the lift on the eighth floor and starts walking down the corridor that leads to Arthur's office. So here it begins. He has no idea what awaits him or whether he will be successful, all he can do is try and if he fails to get what he wants this way, then there might have to be another.<p>

Landing the job is the first hurdle out of the way. Boy, was he relieved about it after all the carry on between Uther and Arthur. He remembers standing there like a spare, utterly nonplussed to be the centre of a row between the two most powerful men in the country within the first half an hour of his arrival.

There was no doubt that Uther's interference had pissed off Arthur big time and that, as a consequence, he had behaved like a total jerk and let the anger at his father out on him. If Merlin had not been there for a certain purpose he would have told Arthur to stick his job wherever he wanted within minutes because he can't be bothered with people that arrogant and supercilious.

Merlin has never been treated with so much disdain in his life. Arthur and charming? What a joke! The man is nothing but a giant prat. A good looking one, admittedly. And yes, Merlin did study Arthur in detail that morning – surely it was logical to compare the object of his studies to the actual man?

Arthur looked thinner than in his most recent public pictures. His chin and cheekbones appeared more pronounced and there were dark shadows under his eyes. The young Pendragon was the walking image of a man who had not slept properly for weeks. Too much partying and sleeping around, most likely. Merlin deduced drily.

But then Arthur had smiled unexpectedly and Merlin had been struck by the vast transformation it caused. The tired, haggard look had been wiped away and a much younger, happier man had appeared. Someone who radiated charisma. A man destined to be the leader of a nation.

_Rubbish_. Merlin scolds himself. This is the man who deliberately tried to put him off this job for his own gain. If he had resigned from the job Arthur would have been rid of him without having to defy his father... a perfect get out clause!

And this is the man who teased him mercilessly about his choice of underwear. Damn. Merlin cannot remember ever feeling that conscious of his body before, and he regrets for once that he never takes more care with what he wears. He usually tends to grab the first thing that comes to hand in the morning. Unfortunately, that day he'd picked that pair of pretty atrocious pants Morgana had given him the previous Christmas as a joke. Adorned with two enormous unicorns they are just exactly the kind of thing you would never ever want anyone to know you possess. He had felt like such an idiot!

_No point going over old ground_. Merlin tells himself as he is walking down the corridor. It is more important that he concentrates on the task in hand. Acting the efficient PA and pandering to Arthur's wishes. Gaining Arthur's trust. Finding out where they keep the formula.

As far as he knows his job is nothing short of being a servant. Even if it is better paid. The hours can be gruelling, so he has read, and Arthur's mention of needing him 24/7 has left a strange taste in his mouth. If things continue the way they have started, being in Arthur's presence all the time could turn out rather wearing.

And yet, his mind refuses to let go of the man in question. Arthur had been so rude on the one hand, but then given him that stare of … how could he describe it… Bewilderment? Want? Awe? when he set his eyes on him properly for the first time. Strange. Merlin has no clue what to make of it. Even stranger though that his heart did a little flip then.

But strangest of all was the weird jolt between them when they shook hands. It was as if his magic was reaching out to Arthur and found something vaguely familiar in the procedure. Familiar and yet peculiar and odd. He had been unprepared for the vision that struck him the same moment. The image of a vibrant light smothered by darkness had come and gone so quickly that he almost believed he had imagined it all when he dissected the incident later.

He's never experienced anything like it and the shock on Arthur's face reflected exactly what he'd felt at the time_. Maybe Gaius can shed a light on this? Hope, he does. _Merlin thinks, because something inside him urges him to get this sorted.

Merlin has almost reached Arthur office and consciously clears his head, vehemently pushing all his thoughts into the back of his mind. He's here for his father and for all of his kin who have suffered the Serum for so long and he is intent on helping them. With that firmly in mind, Merlin knocks at Arthur's office door at exactly two minutes to eight.

"Come in! Arthur's voice sounds rough and little bit muffled.

Merlin can see why when he enters. The door to the private bathroom that is attached to the office is wide open and Arthur is standing at the sink shirtless, facing the mirror in front of him while he is towelling his face and torso. The finely sculpted muscles on his back are moving smoothly as the towel glides over them, hiding and uncovering new moulds of toned strength each time.

For no particular reason Merlin's eyes are drawn to the broad shoulders and the muscular arms that dictate the rhythm of the towel skimming over the naked skin. His eyes follow the soft line where Arthur's hair meets the nape of his neck and he cannot help but notice the wet strands of blond curling into the skin.

"Like what you see?" Arthur asks cheekily and rips him out of his observations with a self-satisfied grin. Merlin realizes in an instant that he has been watched all along through the mirror. A hot flush of embarrassment rushes through his body and his ears take on a deeper shade of crimson. What the heck did he think he was doing? Self-conscious and flustered, he spits out a quick reply.

"Depends what's underneath, sir." _Shit. Where did that come from?_ Merlin curses himself for his quick tongue when he catches Arthur throwing him a furtive glance of consternation through the mirror. Then the blond turns round as if to answer but stops short to do a double take.

Arthur's eyes are scanning him from top to toe like a radar looking for a lost ship in the sea and the silence that comes with it is turning more and more uncomfortable by the second. Is there is anything wrong with the new suit he is wearing? Has he committed another fashion crime that insults Arthur's over heightened sense of aesthetics? And above all, can Merlin really deduct something quite predatory in Arthur's look or is he interpreting this completely wrong? Before he can put more thought into it, Arthur snaps out of his stare.

"I see you did find the way to my tailor's," he says a bit absent-mindedly, unable to hide the flush of heat that is creeping up his neck.

"GPS, sir. Works every time." Merlin bites his lips, trying to suppress a grin.

"Right. Glad to hear you are all coordinated now." Arthur quips back and Merlin's almost sure that Arthur's lips are twitching as he turns round swiftly to busy himself taking a fresh shirt from the small wardrobe inside the bathroom and throwing it on.

"That's more than I can say about you!" Merlin is grinning unashamedly now, his eyes glued to Arthur's shirt. When the blond follows his look to find out that he has buttoned it up wrongly he hastily puts the error right with a couple of flustered movements and ignores the blush that is spreading across his cheeks.

_Touché! Payback time!_ Merlin can't help feeling just a tiny bit cocky for making Arthur feel embarrassed this time. He is telling himself off the next second for letting his emotions rule his head. Why the heck does he find it so hard to act reverently! And to pretend that Arthur is God's gift to this earth. Whatever he says or does. This is not good enough, he decides and he pulls himself together.

Merlin clears his throat and, in the most polite tone he can muster, says, "What can I do for you today?" Arthur throws him a suspicious look_. _Merlin tries to smother the exasperation that flashes through him. Surely he can't fault politeness?

Apparently, he chooses not to. Instead, he conducts himself in a very business-like manner. "I mailed a 'to do' list to your computer this morning. Gwaine Spencer is coming down first thing today to see you. He's the Head of Technology here and will introduce you to EOIN."

"EOIN who?"

"Eoin is our electronic on premise intra- network. It is how we communicate inside the Ministry and what you will find on your computer outside. You'll need to know your way round it, otherwise you'll be no good to me."

The pointed reply to the arrogance of the last remark dies on Merlin's lips as he reminds himself just in time that a perfect PA would never do a thing like that and he bravely manages to squeeze out "Of course, sir."

"And there are a couple of suits that need to go to the dry cleaner's. Elena will give you the address. You'll find a few reports waiting to be cleaned up on your PC once you are ready to go and I would also like you to pick up some theatre tickets from The Orbit."

"Is that all, sir?" The words slip out laced with a heathy dash of sarcasm before Merlin can even think about it and he bites his lips, annoyed at his inability to simply shut up.

Oddly, the atmosphere suddenly changes. A shadow passes over Arthur's face that is followed by a much softer, kinder look and could it be that he is hesitating before he continues?

"Listen Merlin. I know that things did not exactly go very well at our last meeting." Merlin is taken aback at how surprisingly unsure Arthur's voice comes across.

"Nicely put, sir." Merlin agrees with a straight face, waiting with baited breath of what will come next.

"I might have acted a little …. too rash and jumped to conclusions about you too quickly."

For a second Merlin wonders whether he can trust his ears. Is that some kind of apology? It sure sounds like that. Even if the s-word has not come up.

"I would appreciate if we could put all this behind us and start from scratch." Arthur's words are tinged with uncertainty. He brings his eyes up and finds Merlin's.

"As my PA you will be part of a big chunk of my life and I need to be able to give you my complete trust. I need to know without asking that I have your full cooperation and loyalty. I'm aware that doesn't happen overnight, Merlin, and that we have to get to know each other better. But I'm hoping that you're willing to give me a chance. Do you think you can do that for me?"

Ouch! Merlin's throat is suddenly tight. Arthur's words are honest, open and sincere and hit Merlin straight in the heart like an arrow. Why does he feel like a traitor all of a sudden? Why is he overwhelmed by bad conscience? Why do Arthur's eyes rip something open inside him that he cannot even name?

There's no way he can answer these questions just now, but the realization that there's more to Arthur Pendragon than he thought hits him out of nowhere. Gone is the arrogant prat and what is left behind is a genuine guy who is willing to put his cards on the table. Arthur's apology stands, even if it's somewhat obscure.

Merlin's voice crackles a bit when he speaks again. Not only because he is not quite sure how to deal with this new side of Arthur, but also because he knows that he has judged Arthur too quickly as well.

"Of course, sir. I have already forgotten about it." And the warmth he feels inside translates in a beaming smile spreading across his face.

"Glad we sorted that." Arthur pushes out huskily.

"Right. Yes. Of course. Let's think of this as a new start." Merlin replies sheepishly, unclear how Arthur has managed to make him feel so awkward in such a short span of time.

"Anything else, sir?" He asks, half-turning to leave the office.

"Yes, Merlin. There is." Arthur waves him back. "Please, don't call me 'sir'. It really does not suit you."

There is a moment of silence and then their eyes lock, and they both grin in mutual understanding.

"Whatever you prefer." Merlin says and happily ignores the fact that Arthur's smile is making his heart beat a bit faster.

"I have always disliked the title 'sir' because …" Arthur stops to rephrase what he was going to say. "I am not my father."

_Are you not? That will remain to be seen_. Merlin thinks full of apprehension, but he has to admit grudgingly that the Arthur he's met this morning has surprised him in many ways and, apart from that, there's something else, some unexplained factor about him he can't put his finger on.

"Arthur, then, sir." Merlin says and they both laugh.

"I am relieved we have settled that." Arthur puts his hand on Merlin's shoulder to squeeze it, just as men do.

And Merlin flinches as the vision hits him unawares, and it is strong and clear this time. There is a golden light desperately flickering under a veil of darkness. The flames are licking against the shadows, trying to break through, trying to free themselves from their prison. And yet, they are suffocated again and again.

When he snaps back to reality he is faced with Arthur staring at him darkly, his eyes awash with hurt and rejection. Shit, Merlin has to act quickly to make amends for his strange reaction.

"I didn't mean that, Arthur. It's an old wound that keeps bothering me." He lies, for how could he possibly explain to Arthur what really happened**? **

To his credit, Arthur recovers in record speed. "Sure. No worries." But strangely Merlin can detect another layer of crimson creeping up his boss's neck.

Thank God the embarrassing situation is interrupted by someone knocking on the door. _Saved by the bell_. Merlin sighs inwardly with relief.

"I think that must be Gwaine now." Arthur mumbles and a second later the aforesaid pops his head into the office.

"So you are the latest victim." The brown haired Adonis grins at Merlin and eyes him unashamedly.

"Did Arthur hand pick you for your looks?" He teases good-naturedly.

"I am all brain on the inside." Merlin retorts easily and Gwaine laughs out loud.

"I like you, Merlin." He says and points towards Arthur. "Has he been behaving himself?"

"You better not frighten Merlin off with some of your horror stories about me." Arthur warns jokingly before Merlin can say anything and Gwaine grins as if to say that he will do just as he pleases.

"I think you manage that quite well yourself." Merlin gives Arthur a cheeky look and Gwaine laughs out loud.

"Right, come on, sunshine." Gwaine is heading out to Merlin's office. "I have got some goodies to install on your computer and then I'll introduce you to EOIN."

A few minutes later Merlin and Gwaine have settled in front of Merlin's computer and Gwaine boots up the state-of-the-art PC.

"I hear, you are a hero, as well?" He asks casually while he is clicking menus and applications with rapid speed.

"More luck than hero," Merlin mumbles.

"And modest, too! " Gwaine rolls his eyes to then check Merlin over appraisingly. "Almost too good to be true!"

"So what can EOIN do?" Merlin tries to change the topic of the conversation, thanking the gods a minute later that he has been successful.

Two hours on, Merlin's brain has been bombarded with technological instructions, but, he has to give credit to Gwaine, he is pretty sure he's got the bigger picture.

"Basically you have got a similar content of secure files on your computer as Arthur which you will need to receive and forward information from the different departments to this office." Gwaine finally states to finish his explanations.

Now that is quite an exciting revelation. Merlin's suddenly fully alert with anticipation. If he pokes around here or there, he just might find a clue to where the formula is kept.

Gwaine stands up, shakes his hair and pronounces 'the case closed'.

"If there's anything else you need, you can mail me or shout help on extension 3." He grins at Merlin and waggles his eyebrows, indicating he is expecting a call pretty soon and that he will welcome it.

Then Gwaine's expression changes very quickly, however, and he asks quietly, "So, how has he been treating you so far?"

That is putting Merlin in an odd spot because he's not sure if he can say what he really thinks to one of Arthur's most loyal employees. This Gwaine must surely be the one that Arthur once saved?

Gwaine sees Merlin hesitating and adds, "Don't worry. I've heard and seen it all!"

"We're good, I think. After a ropey start." Merlin has decided to be as honest as he can.

"Arthur can be quite a grumpy bugger when he has a bad day. And there have been plenty of those recently." Gwaine stops as if to consider what he wants to say next. "Don't let it put you off, Merlin" he eventually says. "You seem to be a nice guy and he deserves someone who is good to him."

Merlin's face must express some scepticism because Gwaine chuckles.

"Believe me, Merlin. Arthur is well worth it once you start looking behind the arrogant facade." And then he winks and when he turns to leave, they see Arthur standing in the door watching them.

"You two seem to get along like a house on fire." He states drily and looks from one to the other.

"I approve of this one, so don't scare him away!" Gwaine laughs, clapping Merlin's shoulder to show his appreciation. Then he is quicker out of the door than you can say good bye.

"High time you get started, Merlin!" The sudden coldness in Arthur's voice startles Merlin. His head jerks round, noting the change of tone and the indifference in Arthur's gaze. What is this all about now?

"I am already on it!" Merlin smiles in an attempt to lighten the mood, but it feels like the temperature has dropped at least ten degrees. Arthur doesn't reply. Instead he turns round brusquely and heads towards the door.

"Moody prat." Merlin mutters under his breath, noting that he 's never met anyone who could change so much from one minute to the next. A second later he dismisses the thought as irrelevant and throws himself into the files on his PC waiting for editing.

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Arthur sinks into his chair at his desk. The warmth he has felt inside him earlier this morning has long evaporated as if it had been doused by ice cold water.

Merlin lied to him. He is hundred percent sure of it. Gwaine clapped the same shoulder he'd touched not long before that. With his friend, however, Merlin didn't flinch an inch. In fact, he had not reacted at all. Why would Merlin lie to him about something as inconsequential as that?

Maybe his reputation precedes him and Merlin wants to make clear that he doesn't want to be touched by him? He has no idea who Merlin is and what his views are. What if he can't stomach the idea of having a gay man as his boss?

Things went so well until that flinch. He has always been one of those tactile guys who express their feelings by physical touch. It is what he does all the time and he never even thinks about it. He certainly didn't expect Merlin to react that strangely to his touch and it had hurt. Arthur is not used to being rejected and Merlin's action has left him with an array of confusing emotions.

Or is there more to this than meets the eye? Arthur shakes his head as his reasoning hits a wall and he tries unsuccessfully to distract himself by the latest crime reports.

The minute he set his eyes on Merlin earlier this morning his heart had gone into freefall. The previous week Merlin had blown him away, despite the dirt-covered suit and mucky face, but this morning when he appeared, wearing that light grey suit, expertly moulded onto his body by his tailor, Arthur had struggled to find his composure.

Actually, the image seems permanently stuck in his head. The shape of the suit accentuates Merlin's tall lean shape and long legs, while the indigo tie reflects the blue of his eyes, bringing out every nuance of the colour. The well-fitted jacket, sitting loosely on his shoulders sets off the white and grey shirt perfectly. Merlin is stunning and could grace any fashion magazine for sure.

_Get real, you moron! You are behaving like a bloody teenager! Surely you can control yourself at 32_! Arthur shouts at himself. Not to mention that he doesn't know Merlin at all. Still he had found it incredibly difficult to tear his eyes away and only the fear of being noticed to stare – again - had given him the incentive to do so.

Arthur pushes out a sigh. Merlin is a complete riddle to him. He tried to make up for his bad behaviour on their first day because he did not want the other man to judge him from his first impression alone. Of course he will also have to work closely with Merlin for six months, Arthur defends his action, ignoring the little voice in the back of his head whispering that he also wants Merlin to like him for completely different reasons.

Anyway, why does Merlin have such a devastating effect on him? It's not as if he hasn't seen attractive men before and he has not only seen them, but taken who he liked, too.

This though? He's never been rattled so profoundly. "Love at first sight" pops into his head before he can count to three and he swears at the mere thought. How can his brain conjure this up when he doesn't even know if Merlin's interested in men? Falling for a straight guy is pure hell. He has seen it happen and it's never ended well.

His reason tells him to be on guard. Merlin's not only lied to him, but there's a chance that he has close links to Uther. That's one for Percival to find out. If he can substantiate that allegation, then Merlin will have to go. No matter what his father says or what his bloody feelings are asking him to do.

Arthur wants to trust Merlin and let him into his life. Yet, reason dictates that getting involved with a PA he isn't able to rely on completely is sheer madness. He's ticked that box already twice with two of his previous PAs. He certainly can't allow himself to act like a complete fool again. No, that would be idiotic beyond belief. _It certainly would be_. He keeps repeating to himself. His heart, however, is screaming a very different message.

Eventually Arthur takes a deep breath and dials Percival's extension.

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

_So it seems Arthur has good days and bad days_. Merlin recapitulates on his way down to security three days later.

What the hell is going on with him? He wonders. He cannot remember reading about any problems in the media he's studied and he resolves to get to the bottom of this.

And then there is that vision. Which is even more puzzling. What does it mean? Why does it happen each time Arthur touches him? He must speak to Gaius about it at the weekend. If he has one. The phrase 24/7 still reverberates in his mind.

"Ouch!" The young woman shouts out in pain as Merlin crashes into her and sends the pile of documents in her hands flying.

"I'm really sorry, …" Merlin hesitates. He has been so caught up in his thoughts he didn't notice her when she appeared at the corner of the corridor. He remembers the face of the brown haired girl. She works somewhere down in Archives as far as he is aware.

"Sefa." She smiles at him and takes the hand he has offered in apology. "We met in Salaries the other day."

"Are you okay? I wasn't really watching where I was going." Merlin mumbles as he bends down to pick up some of the files that lie scattered all over the floor.

"I noticed." Sefa smiles.

"Hope these are not in any way precious?" He asks as he hands them back to her.

"Well, this document here is 200 years old and on loan from the National Library and that one …" Elaine starts and laughs when she sees Merlin's face drop.

"Just kidding, Merlin." She grins and adds. "You've done no horrendous damage."

Despite everything Merlin can't help but smile back at her friendly face, and as he flashes his dimples he can see her blushing. Women do that at times when he speaks to them. A lot of times, actually. Freya was the first to point that out to him in the early days of their relationship.

"Have you any idea what you do to the female population of this world?" She'd asked him innocently and giggled at the puzzlement spreading over his features.

"Girls love you, Merlin. I can't believe you're that oblivious!" She'd continued and Merlin had frowned, somewhat mystified.

"But why?" He'd genuinely asked, wondering what she was on about. With his way too skinny frame, his gangly gait and oversized ears he was not exactly handsome. He really couldn't see the attraction at all.

"Just the fact that you have no idea how gorgeous you are, pulls the ladies, you dope. There's nothing more attractive than innocence." She'd answered matter of fact and then kissed him gently. "Just as well I'm here to save you from all those girls who are trying to get a piece of you." She'd teased and then pulled him close to find his lips.

Freya. Merlin swallows hard. He shouldn't have allowed his mind to stray. But Sefa reminds him of her. The brown curls playing around her delicate face and the warmth in her gaze, as she smiles up at him.

"Some of us are going to Clumsy's across the square for a drink after work tomorrow. Want to join us?" Sefa looks expectantly at him.

"Looks like I'm clumsy enough." Merlin answers and Sefa laughs out loud.

"People would love to meet you, you know." She tries to persuade him.

"I have no idea if Arthur needs me." Merlin makes a careful excuse. "You know what he's like. As fickle as the weather!" And he rolls his eyes.

Sefa chuckles and adds "You're welcome at any time!" before she disappears in the lift.

A few minutes later Merlin opens the door to Security to find Percival brooding over a file on the computer.

"Hi there." He looks up and nods at Merlin. "Just a second." And he clicks Merlin's security data away he's just been reviewing.

Merlin nervously watches the tall, muscly man who he met the previous week when he came in to get an in depth check-up. He has no clue why he has been called down here. He already gave a DNA and a blood sample last time, and all his details – well, the ones Will and Gilli invented – are on record. He passed all the tests with flying colours, so what is this about?

Percival notices that Merlin is tapping his fingers on the table and that he is finding it difficult to sit still. "_Fidgety..."_ He thinks. "… and egdy. Hmm." Interesting. Maybe Arthur is right and Merlin has got something to hide. If he is, he will definitely get to the bottom of it. He always does because he is a patient and meticulous worker and knows how to approach situations like this.

"So how have you been doing so far?" He asks casually.

"Typical first week, I guess." Merlin smiles and sits back. He really should not behave as if he has done something wrong already. "Lots to learn and lots of names to remember."

Percival laugh. "So you reckon this is better than your old job?"

Merlin is immediately on alert, but keeps his cool. "I liked working at the Institute, but I was looking for a challenge."

"Arthur is just perfect then!" Percival laughs out loud and Merlin joins in.

"You worked for Gaius Richardson before, didn't you?" Percival asks, although he knows Merlin's file by heart.

"Yes, I was his PA for quite a while." Merlin has no idea where this is going.

"I have heard of him, I think." Percival continues. "Nice guy?"

"Yeah, we got on well. He's an old family friend." There is genuine warmth in Merlin's voice.

"Was he not a friend of the Governor long ago?" Percival vaguely remembers the name.

"I think he might have known him when he was young." Merlin answers truthfully. Gaius had been a high flying chemist then and very friendly with Uther. Then the Governor had offered him a job on a team of medical experts to develop a new chemical compound that would fight the threat of sorcery. Horrified, Gaius had declined and their friendship had ended that moment.

"Sorry to call you down here again so soon again, Merlin. The lab mucked up your first DNA sample and they've asked me to send them another one." Percival finally explains why Merlin had to be called in.

"Oh, no problem! Just do what you have to!" Merlin shrugs and opens his mouth for Percival to take a swab. "Is that all?"

"Yeap. All done." Percival carefully puts the sample into a vial.

"Oh, and I'm supposed to give you this." He says and walks into his office at the back.

That's the moment Merlin has been waiting for. His eyes flash golden and the sample reacts for a split second. Nobody should recognize his real DNA now. He quietly thanks Gaius for introducing that very useful spell to him.

The next minute Percival is back and hands over one of the brand new Safety Chips. "They've just come out. Brilliant idea of Arthur's. It'll keep you safe and sound."

Merlin takes the chip without any excitement and wonders silently if it has an inbuilt tracking signal. He needs to remember to leave it in his apartment when he goes to meet up with Gilli at the weekend, just in case.

"Thanks. Great!" He fakes enthusiasm. "Cheers and see you later!"

"Coming to Clumsy's tomorrow?" Percival shouts after him.

"Not this time, Percival. I think I need a good sleep!" And then Merlin is gone.

Percival takes the vial and packs it up to go to Lamia House. Edwin Richter can check it out in his specially equipped lab there. He might come up with another result than the one their usual lab provided.

He has covered that avenue, but he's got an inkling that checking out Gaius Richardson could also lead to something. Although he hopes it doesn't. Merlin seems a genuinely nice guy and he would hate to have to hurt him.

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><p><strong>Merlin is certainly no trained 007. *g* We'll see how this pans out in the next chapter!<strong>

**Hope you enjoyed this! Let me know what you think!**


	6. Chapter 6: Progress

**Last time Merlin made a vital error. Will it cost him and will Percival blow his cover? **

**You'll find out in this instalment of the story! Hope you enjoy it!**

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><p>Merlin flops on the sofa of his new apartment on Friday evening. He is totally knackered. What a week it has been! He takes a sip of wine and surveys the boxes scattered across the floor. They have been waiting to be emptied all week, and he will finally have time to get down to the task in the next two days. The removal went without a hitch, mainly due to the experienced firm Arthur had sent to organize it.<p>

The apartment itself is amazing – all the latest gadgets and totally swish and exclusive. Merlin grins – at least there are some perks that come with his mission. He leans back and closes his eyes to take stock of what has happened in the last five days.

Arthur's behaviour has been confusing, that's for sure. First warm and apologetic on Monday morning and then as cool as a cucumber and professional to the T the rest of the week. He really doesn't get it. Merlin sighs as his tired limbs relax into the sofa.

He freely admits that he liked the Arthur he met on his first day of work. The distant behaviour that followed was an unexpected blow and he has no idea what caused Arthur to snap back to it. It is pretty annoying how Arthur goes from one mood to the next without any warning. Merlin stops in mid thought. Why does it actually annoy him? It is nothing to him how his boss behaves as long as he doesn't interfere with what he has come to do.

Merlin takes another slug of wine and stares out of the huge window of his living room. Camelot stretches before him, peaceful and calm, and yet so much pain is hidden behind closed curtains.

_Father. Where are you?_ He whispers in his head, just as he has done every night since Balinor's arrest. As usual there's no answer, there can be no answer, and Merlin understands that, and yet, the aching emptiness lingers on.

A knock on the door snaps Merlin back to reality. As far as he knows nobody should be able to disturb the senior staff in their apartments at night time.

Merlin opens the door and exhales in disbelief. "Arthur?" It is a shock to find Arthur standing outside, a rather precarious smile on his face.

"Hi." Merlin gives a half smirk. "Anything you need?"

"No. I'm fine. I just wanted to speak to you." Arthur is biting his bottom lip which is totally out of character because nervousness is certainly not one of the young Pendragon's weaknesses.

"Sure. Come in." Merlin says while his mind is going ten to the dozens. Why is Arthur here? Surely he could have spoken to him sometime during their working hours?

"I see you are on the wine already?" Arthur waves at the glass on the coffee table jovially.

"It's been an exhausting week." Merlin motions Arthur to settle on the couch.

"It has." Arthur says, "And you've done a very good job so far."

The unexpected compliment makes Merlin's ears burn against his will because Arthur's sincerity does things to his head he doesn't quite understand.

"Thanks." Okay. Arthur has paid him a compliment. Why is he unable to throw the feeling that something's very weird going on?

"You like the apartment?" Arthur asks, obviously trying to start up some kind of sensible conversation.

"It is brilliant." Merlin smiles properly this time and Arthur seems to relax a little bit.

"Pleased to hear it," he says and returns the gesture.

Merlin nods and disappears in the kitchen for a minute to fetch a second glass. It seems only logical to offer Arthur a drink.

"Can I persuade you to have one?" He asks, wondering what on earth is driving him to even suggest it because surely Arthur has no interest investing more time in speaking to him than is necessary. He has made that very clear throughout the week.

Arthur nods. "Thanks. I'd love to." Merlin's eyebrow shoots up in surprise. He pours the red liquid slowly while Arthur watches. _ Is he staring at my fingers?_ Merlin can't be completely certain, but it sure looks that way. Shit. Why is the idea alone turning his hands to jelly? He puts the bottle down quickly before his trembling becomes noticeable. And what is it with those tiny bubbles of excitement that keep erupting deep inside him?

Torn between frustration and embarrassment he sits down and watches as Arthur lifts the glass of red almost desperately and takes a huge swig. "If there's anything else you need here, let me know."

Merlin looks at him wryly because there IS one thing he has been wondering about. "Why is there a connecting door between your bed room and mine?"

Arthur lifts his head, clearly taken aback by the question. "It was designed this way to accommodate any emergencies," he says in a most convincing tone.

"Right." Merlin throws him a rather sceptical glance because Arthur's eyes are giving away that he is not telling him the whole truth.

"It usually remains closed," Arthur says, "but there's a key next to it that can be used if needed."

Merlin nods as if that settles the matter satisfactorily but his common sense sneers at the insufficient explanation. _Emergencies. Right! No way, Arthur. No way!_

Arthur suddenly looks at him with a determined piercing gaze and Merlin gasps at the intensity of it.

"Merlin, I don't want to beat about the bush. I've come to talk to you about something in particular."

_Finally coming to the point._ Merlin raises his eyebrows in apprehension, but still manages a polite "Sure. Go on!"

"Your shoulder." Arthur locks eyes with him as if to measure Merlin's reaction. "Is there really something wrong with it?"

The shoulder? Merlin retraces his steps for a second and then remembers his feeble excuse.

"Why are you asking?" Merlin is not ready to answer before he has an idea what this is all about.

When Arthur tells him, Merlin grits his teeth. What a fool he has been to make such a mistake! He is surprised though that Arthur has come to talk openly about it. So what is he supposed to say? _I had a vision when you touched me? My magic reached out to you?_ Oh fuck. What a mess.

His mind is racing to find an acceptable answer and he finally spurts out the first thing that passes as a sensible explanation.

"I took some extra strength painkillers not long after that." Shit, he really hates lying. And lying to Arthur makes him feel all weird. Like it is wrong or something. But why should it be? Arthur is the enemy after all. Isn't he?

Arthur's Adam's apple bobs up and down; and his eyes give Merlin's face a once over. _He is checking whether I'm telling the truth. _Merlin thinks and a wave of guilt washes over him while he maintains his best innocent look on the outside.

"Right." Arthur mumbles, his tone suggesting that he is not totally convinced but that he's willing to let it go. He absent-mindedly attempts to grab his glass in a swift move as if he was in dire need of alcohol. Merlin can see that he is too distracted to really pay attention and is not surprised when Arthur knocks the glass with the back of his hand.

They both react instinctively and reach out for it, with Merlin being a split second quicker than Arthur. Arthur's hand freezes, cupping Merlin's underneath.

Time stands still for moment and Merlin holds his breath. The vision hits him full force and blinded by its strength, he shudders. As soon as it passes a completely different sensation overwhelms him.

The warmth of Arthur's hand is seeping through his skin and it spreads through his body at an alarming rate, leaving his hand tingling and causing goose bumps running down his spine.

Merlin's eyes snap up to Arthur's, and suddenly the atmosphere is charged with prickling tension. Neither is willing to or feels able to turn away. Hearts are thumping. Blood is pumping through their veins at rapid speed. Heat flushes their faces.

What is this? Merlin is shaking on the inside like a leaf that is swirled around by a hurricane. His throat becomes tight and dry, and he couldn't utter a word, even if his life depended on it.

But then Arthur pulls his hand away and the moment evaporates in a flash, creating a vacuum of nothingness where feelings roared a second before.

"I think I should go," says Arthur in a croaky voice as he jumps up at his feet and heads for the door.

"Glad we spoke, Merlin. Have a good weekend!" And before Merlin can catch his breath and try to make sense of all this, Arthur is gone, leaving Merlin sitting on the sofa totally gobsmacked and utterly confused.

The only thought that comes through coherently is that he has to speak to Gaius about this weird emotional entanglement between Arthur and him. Surely there's something that can be done about it!

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

The monthly staff meeting has gone on for a good two hours and half by now and Arthur can see that Merlin is bored out of his skull. The yawn that he has been trying to get the better of him for the last half an hour is set on a winning course and Arthur inwardly grins, watching as Merlin's jaws struggle to suppress to urge to let it out.

A pleasant wave of heat warms Arthur from top to toe in an instant when Merlin looks across the room to smile at him. A proper smile, dimples and sparkling eyes and all. It is a sight to behold and Arthur doesn't give a damn about his pride admitting that he would do quite a lot to get rewarded like this.

Keeping Merlin at arm's length during that first week had been hell. His feelings had pulled him into one direction and his reason into the complete opposite one. He could not risk having his objective judgement about his PA clouded by his intense emotional reaction to him, and he knew he had acted sensibly when he had put Percival on Merlin's trail, even though his heart had protested loudly.

What a relief when Merlin's DNA sample was cleared by Edwin the following week and when Percival had reported no suspicious links between Merlin and Uther.

He was delighted and called Percival off the case immediately when he'd asked whether he should check up Merlin's background information in more detail. Surely that was not necessary any longer!

As for the shoulder incidence, he had taken that in his own hands when he went to challenge his PA about it on that Friday night of his first week. Arthur's still uneasy when he thinks about Merlin's excuse, and he hates that it leaves a bad taste in his mouth. Yes, he'd decided to accept it, because Merlin could have taken painkillers during the time he spent with Gwaine. But he hadn't been able to shake that niggling feeling that Merlin might be hiding something. Eventually though it was dumped conveniently in a dark corner of his consciousness.

Arthur half listens to the Head of Salaries prattling on about some new ideas while his eyes scan every inch of Merlin. He feels relaxed in Merlin's presence. In fact he loves having Merlin round him. For some reason he feels calmer and more composed, he smiles more and he could swear that he can concentrate better. Apart from the benefits of Merlin's warm laughter, his sharp intelligence and the meticulous way he works.

It's really very simple: the more he has got to know Merlin in the last two months the more he's fallen for him. And yes. He has admitted to himself that he has fallen for Merlin. Hook, line and sinker.

For all it's worth. Because nothing will ever come of it. In the eight weeks they have worked together Merlin has not once given the slightest indication that he might be interested in Arthur… that way. Despite the moment of breathless recognition when he had held Merlin's hand for a split second.

To Arthur, everything about that had felt right and he is sure that they'd connected on some level that night. But he has no idea whether Merlin experienced the same exhilaration as him, the same pull towards the other man. So far there has been no indication of that whatsoever. Probably there never will be.

It's just as well that it's his turn to get up and conclude the meeting with a few words. He hates getting lost in negative vibes.

"Thank God for that." Merlin mumbles under his breath a few minutes later as he joins him at his desk.

"Sorry to bore you, Merlin." Arthur chuckles. "I hate to inform you that you are here to work not to be entertained." And then hands him another pile of files he's just received from one of the departmental heads.

"Thank you so much, sir." Merlin says in a mock subservient tone, deliberately using the title in revenge. "I can hardly wait to get these sorted."

"I can see you are keen." Arthur's eyes are sparkling mischievously. "And I would like to assure you that there's more where these came from."

"Generous, aren't you?" Merlin mutters and rolls his eyes when Arthur adds file upon file to Merlin's already existing workload.

This is symptomatic for the relationship that has blossomed between them. The banter that has been developing more and more with each passing week has turned into their way of communication and Arthur revels in it. Merlin tends to be blatantly honest, a characteristic Arthur sincerely values. And no other PA has ever had the balls to stand up to him and give as much as he gets.

"Merlin, move your lazy arse and come here." Arthur says a moment later, keeping in with the theme. "I'd like you to meet someone." And he drags Merlin towards an older white haired man.

"Edwin, I'd like you to meet my new PA, Merlin Emrys." Arthur introduces Merlin.

"Merlin, this is Edwin Richter, Head of Research at Lamia House."

Edwin's chest rises proudly and he adds in a rather self-satisfied tone, "And I am also the physician of the Pendragon household."

Merlin's expression is sombre when he takes Edwin's hand to shake it. "Nice to meet you, sir." He says, acting as he should, but Arthur gets the strange impression that something is off.

"You have done us a great service saving the Governor." Edwin's eyes are piercing straight into Merlin's, and Arthur sees Merlin shudder. What is this all about?

"I am glad to be of service." Merlin's half-baked smile is confirmation that he is uncomfortable.

"Of course," Edwin says, but his eyes seem to say something different all together. There is distrust in them and suspicion and a promise that doesn't seem to bode well.

"Right. I think it is time to enjoy the spread." Arthur defuses the growing tension between Edwin and Merlin, and the three men descend into the ante room for refreshments. Arthur breaks away to speak to Gwaine, while Edwin heads towards the older staff and Merlin joins the crowd he has become friendly with since he started regular visits to Clumsy's on Friday nights.

Arthur is in the middle of discussing the latest technological problems in Lamia House with Gwaine when his gaze falls upon Merlin and the chatty crowd around him. Caught in the moment he loses track of what he was saying and watches Merlin instead.

There is Elena from Salaries and Vivien who works in Admin. Joy and Aisha are both in Reception and Sofia is responsible for the Mail. And of course Sefa from Admin is there. She has been around his office quite a lot lately. The girls are all gathering round Merlin, giving him their undivided attention, and he is blossoming in a way Arthur hasn't seen when Merlin is with him.

He is drawing his audience in, captivating them with every word and gesture. They are all hanging on his lips as if enchanted and happily listen to whatever he has got to say. Merlin's eyes are radiating and his laughter carries across the room, grabbing at Arthur's insides and tying them into tight knots.

This is a side of Merlin that is new to him and Arthur is hypnotized. And then it hits him. Merlin is actually flirting. Flirting with girls. And his heart drops like a bomb.

Watching Merlin clarifies quite a lot of things – even if Arthur is unwilling to fully accept the cold evidence in front of him.

"Is it as bad as that?" Gwaine asks under his breath and Arthur can hear the concern in his voice.

"Am I that obvious?" Arthur asks resigned and tries to ignore that Merlin has just put his hand on Sefa's arm.

"I can read you like a book, Arthur." Gwaine smirks good-humouredly, stating the truth. He has known Arthur long enough to know when he is smitten.

"He's very popular with the staff." Gwaine says and then adds rather carefully. "I don't think it's wise to invest yourself there, Arthur."

Arthur's throat suddenly feels dry and scratchy. After that moment in Merlin's apartment a few weeks ago he'd hoped maybe at one point …

"I really like him, Gwaine." He whispers hoarsely and clenches his teeth when Merlin slides his hand on to the small back of Sefa. It looks so intimate, so familiar and anyone watching them would have thought that they are an item or not far off that stage.

Of course Gwaine is right. Arthur shakes his head. He is clearly wasting his time and he should gracefully face up to the fact that he has no chance and never will because Merlin is evidently a ladies' man.

"I really like him." Arthur repeats in a more defeatist tone, and hurt is pouring out of his voice. Watching Merlin and Sefa makes it so obvious that he is a deluded idiot.

"I am a fool, aren't I?" He asks, knowing it is a rhetoric question.

Gwaine has never seen Arthur like this. Sure, he has seen him in love and out of it. He has witnessed first-hand when Arthur suffered from losing someone he had liked and when he pined for someone he had wanted. But nothing has ever been like what he sees now. It looks like Arthur is serious about Merlin and that makes it all the more painful because going by the evidence Merlin is off limits.

"Sorry, mate." Gwaine squeezes his arm. "I am truly sorry." And he curses fate for not giving Arthur the break he deserves.

"Maybe you should try to take your mind of it?" It is the only suggestion he can think of. "How about heading off to 'Pulse 8' on Saturday night?"

Arthur has not been to the club that used to be his favourite haunt for many years since …. yeah, actually since Merlin's appeared on the scene. He has had plenty of good times in that place and taken many gorgeous men home after a good night. They'd wanted him and had made him feel good. This is exactly what he needs. Gwaine's right. A couple of drinks and a good shag. That's always put him right before and it has made him sleep, too.

"You're right, Gwaine. It's a date." Arthur nods and then turns to leave the room because the sight of Merlin unashamedly flirting with the girls is starting to make him feel squeamish.

ooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Merlin knows he's late. Arthur's meeting was at 13.30 and he should have been there ten minutes ago. Shit. Arthur is going to be furious. If there's one thing he really hates it is unpunctuality. But Sefa's been talking to him in the canteen and he got so involved in their conversation he forgot the time.

Sefa. Who's so much like Freya. Kind and funny and full of giggles. No wonder he feels drawn to her. And it seems that she feels the same. Merlin grits his teeth for a moment.

Freya has left a huge hole in his heart and he's not sure whether he's ready for someone else to fill the gap. He never did manage to find the man responsible for her death. The man who cold heartedly drove a security van into a crowd of peaceful protesters and then disappeared as soon as it was clear what carnage he'd left behind.

Merlin had tried, of course he had. He'd followed a trail of clues for weeks, researched every little bit of evidence there was, but it seemed that the system was protecting its own and that it was not willing to give him the satisfaction of avenging Freya's death. And so all his efforts had ended up in nothing. And he'd never got the closure he so desperately sought.

_But this will not happen again_. Merlin swears. _This time I will be successful. I will save you, Father._

He arrives back at Arthur's office a bit out of breath and almost shouts, "Hello. That's me back from lunch," when he realizes that Arthur is fast asleep in his chair.

God, he looks dead beat. He often does, but today it is more pronounced than ever. His head has sunk to his chest and his neck is straining at the back. The scruff on his chin, the dark shadows under his eyes and the sunken cheeks make him look decidedly ill.

_What the heck is wrong with him_? There's no denying that something IS wrong. Arthur's mood changes, his perpetual exhaustion and his irritability are unmistakable signs for it.

When Merlin gets closer he notices a bottle of hypospray in the paper bin next to the desk.

_He is taking medication of some kind. _ Merlin picks up the bottle and checks it out. There are no instructions on it, no official sign of a chemist. It's just a bottle and as far as Merlin can see, it's virtually empty, with just a few drops remaining at the bottom. Which should be enough for chemical analysis.

Curiosity and professional interest as a biochemist come to the fore and Merlin puts the hypospray into his pocket without much further ado, resolving to have it analysed by Gaius as soon as possible. Maybe it will shine some light on Arthur's illness. It is not as if his boss has volunteered any information about it and it seems prudent to know as much as he can about his employer.

_I might also be able to help him_. A small voice whispers inside his head.

_Am I going mental?_ Merlin asks himself in bewilderment. _Helping Arthur with this?_ Morgana would have a fit_._ Helping ANY Pendragon would feel like treason to her. And it has nothing to do with what he is out to achieve. And yet…

Merlin gazes at Arthur and is hit by the strong urge to protect the man in front of him. He looks so young and vulnerable as he is asleep … and so handsome. And Merlin's brain feels thick and muddled out of a sudden.

Which stirs the memory of that evening when Arthur had virtually held his hand. Merlin's insides had come alive in a way he had never experienced before. Every little fibre in his body had vibrated with anticipation and excitement, and for a fleeting moment something resembling desire had swept over him, leaving him breathless. He's been incapable of grasping the reason for his intense reaction to this day.

Something shifted between Arthur and him after that. He could sense it the following Monday when they saw each other again. There was an ease between them, as if two souls had met, recognized their worth and had smiled at each other.

Of course Arthur didn't change into a perfect competitor for the "Friendliest Employer of the Year Award". No, he showed his bristles all right when he didn't approve of things, and he could be quite stubborn when he wanted things done a certain way. Not to speak of his behaviour on one of his bad days. But the underlying aloofness from before was gone, and there had been warmth in his eyes again.

Arthur lets out a little snore and Merlin chuckles. That fits the picture – he is making the guy a mental compliment to have it blown back into his face like that.

_A compliment?_ What the hell is wrong with him? And why for fuck's sake is his hand itching to go through that soft blonde hair? Merlin grumbles at himself and decides to make Arthur more comfortable. Sleeping like that could do a few things to his back after all.

He pulls Arthur's arm gently over his shoulder and without fail the vision gate crashes his mind. Undaunted, he wipes it away while he carefully drags Arthur over to the sofa letting him sink slowly against the soft cushions. There is a woolly blanket in the cupboard if he isn't mistaken, and it takes no time to retrieve it. He cautiously covers Arthur and bends down next to him to tuck him in.

"You really need to get more sleep." Merlin mumbles as if Arthur could hear him and, without giving it further thought, gently runs his fingertips over Arthur's cheek. He should have expected it to trigger off the vision again because it has become clear since that first incident that it happens every time they touch. And his magic reacts to the vision, surging forward as if to envelope Arthur and reach the place where the flickering fire is smothered by darkness.

That's exactly what he told Gaius when they'd met in the Institute a couple of weeks after he'd started working for the Arthur. First Merlin had not wanted to take the risk of seeing Gaius so soon, but the urge to find an explanation for this weird bond between Arthur and him had not let him go.

Gaius had been suitably puzzled. "A vision when you touch? Now that is very interesting."

"Interesting? Is that it, Gaius!" His old friend used to have answers for everything. Surely that could not be it? "Have you never heard of anything like that before?"

"Not off hand, my boy," Gaius had said apologetically and rubbed his chin fervently.

"And you also experienced strange physical sensations at the same time?"

Merlin had just nodded and talked about it in detail. The shivers and the heat. The trembling and the breathlessness. The way his magic had reached out to Arthur and tried to embrace him.

"Have you ever experienced anything similar with another MU?" Gaius had wondered.

No, he had not. He'd always been able to spot when magic was near him. He had sensed Freya's when they were together, but that had been a calm, serene feeling, nothing like the wild tumbling of emotions he was experiencing with Arthur.

"I am sorry, my boy, that I cannot enlighten you at this moment. But leave it with me and I'll see if something comes up." Gaius had patted Merlin's arm reassuringly. "I'll let you know as soon as I've got news."

And that was how they'd left it, and hopefully, any time soon, Gaius will come up with some kind of answer.

Right. Merlin tears himself out of his thoughts. He really needs to get going. Maybe he can use the time to do further research on the whereabouts of the formula. He is about to tiptoe out of the office when Arthur's computer screen catches his attention. It is open. Arthur has left his computer on.

The computer that surely must contain information about anything. Merlin swallows hard. He knows he can't let this opportunity go past even though it feels like a betrayal of the worst kind. Here is the man he's just taken care of and now he ….

_Stop it! You can't afford sentimentalities like that. This is about your father's life_. Merlin has hardly completed scolding himself when he bends over the keyboard and puts in a search for the Serum.

His heart is pounding with excitement. This could be it. This could be the first step to finding the formula!

Unfortunately there's only one search result. Merlin's hand is trembling when he clicks on it to open the document. His heart sinks immediately when it comes up as password protected. Of course it would be! What else did he expect?

Then he looks again and there at the top of the document in bright view for anyone to see it says:

Serum, the formula. Primary contact: Edwin Richter at Lamia House.

This is it. This is the confirmation that the formula is kept under Edwin's supervision somewhere in Lamia House. _Edwin! That figures!_ Merlin thinks grimly. The day they'd met the man had got under his skin like an infectious disease. And with similar symptoms. His whole body had reacted when they shook hands, and not in a good way. He hasn't been able to figure out exactly what's wrong, just that there is something menacing about the guy, something threatening and hostile. He has no idea how Arthur can trust a creepy guy like that, but there it is.

Knowing where the formula is kept should narrow down the search for Gilli and Will. But will they be able to hack into the safest place in Camelot? _We'll have to wait and see. And if they can't I will find another way to get a hold of it. _Merlin swears with a determined grin.

He clicks the information away and almost heads out of the room when another idea hits him.

_In for a penny. In for a pound!_ He thinks and types Balinor's name into the search engine. The requested details are up before he can blink:

**Balinor Emerson: **

Freed convicted MUs / murdered John Hunter, captain of the Justice Squad on February 24th 2014.

Verdict: Imprisonment for 19 years 10 months. Administration of the Serum.

Serum injection: 12th March 2014, 9.25 a.m.

Imprisoned at: Lamia House: cell no.32, basement.

Status: alive

Visitor status: none until 1st June 2014

Relief floods through Merlin. _He is alive! _ After nine weeks Balinor's still hanging in there and fighting the Serum. That's all that matters in this instant and it leaves Merlin staring at the screen with a beating heart.

Suddenly Arthur puffs out a disgruntled noise behind him and Merlin shoots around in alarm. Thank God, Arthur is still asleep, and Merlin remains completely motionless for a minute to keep it that way.

"Merlin…" Arthur whispers in his sleep and Merlin's stomach churns at the anguish in the one word. Is Arthur dreaming about him? Surely not! Why would there be such a lot of pain in his voice then?

Merlin quickly recapitulates and guesses that it's probably about the time he completely cocked up a report to Admin. It was his worst mistake so far and Arthur had been livid.

Anyway, he has no time to ponder about something as unimportant as that just now. Arthur looks more unsettled suddenly and he's turning and twisting on the sofa as if he might wake up any second.

Unwilling to take any further risk, Merlin returns the screen to its desktop and sneaks away to arrange a meeting with Gilli and Will.

* * *

><p><strong>Maybe Merlin is getting better at sneaking around? He was quite good at that in the show, after all. :)<strong>

**Hope you enjoyed this. If you did, let me know! I'd be delighted to hear from you.**


	7. Chapter 7: A clear day

**Thank you to everyone who is reading this, following or favouriting, and special thanks to all those who left a review! **

**I hope you'll enjoy the next instalment!**

* * *

><p>"He's getting worse, isn't he?" Uther does not need any confirm<p>

* * *

><p>ation for this. He can see in Edwin's face that he has summed up the situation correctly.<p>

"I am doing everything I can Uther." Edwin assures him quickly, but his lips twitch nervously as he says it.

"Should we not stop the treatment for a while?" Uther's had about enough of seeing Arthur permanently exhausted and run down. The hypospray's supposed to help him, not make him feel worse. Why, he asks himself just as so many times before, why has fate punished his family so cruelly?

Finding out that Ygraine had been struck by the illness had been catastrophic, but realizing that Arthur had inherited the disease was the worst day of his life. His only son. The heir to all he has built. Damned.

People have started to whisper about Arthur's continuing bad health,or so his informers have told him. It is something he's always feared because Arthur cannot afford such rumours if he wants to be the future leader of this country. Arthur needs to appear strong and healthy, capable of steering Albion through good and bad times.

There's nothing more Uther wants to see than Arthur succeed him when his time for retirement comes, despite the knowledge that his bloodline is going to end. It's a fact that fills him with sorrow and resentment, but he has long accepted Arthur's sexual preferences. Admittedly, the threat that his son might pass his illness on to a grandchild has made his quiet consent a lot easier. At least the affliction is going to be contained like that. That's worth more than anything else.

Uther sighs and takes note of Edwin giving him the answer he expected to hear anyway.

"I would not recommend taking Arthur off the hypospray, sir. I am sure you remember what happened the last time."

Uther nods. The time when Arthur decided to stop his medication had been pure hell. He'd gone cold turkey on the drug that he had taken since the age of six within a day and suffered from the most severe withdrawal symptoms. What a desperate time that had been. Uther had worried every second that Arthur might show signs of his illness. And what if somebody noticed?

But watching Arthur struggling with the side effects of the drug has been equally frustrating.

"Surely there's something we can do." Uther's voice is pleading and threatening at the same time and Edwin flinches.

"I have reduced the dosage by 0.75 percent twice last month," Edwin explains, "and I've looked at the composition of the drug from all angles. We can probably try one or two more different combinations of ingredients and see if that helps."

That does not sound promising at all. Uther grits his teeth and stares at Arthur's photo that won the Best Photo of the Year competition a few years earlier and has been gracing his desk since. The shadows of the illness were there even then, but not as pronounced as now.

_He'll never find out what's wrong with him if I have anything to do with it._ Uther vows. Ignorance is definitely preferable to facing reality. He's always seen it as his duty to keep the cruel truth from his son, and that isn't going to change now. He loves Arthur with all his heart, and he would do anything to save him from finding out what's really wrong with him, and he will pull his strings to keep this from the eyes of the publc.

Therefore, as usual, his choice is one he'd rather not make. He has to sign the consent form, just as he's done again and again for so many years, in the knowledge that Arthur's medication is damaging his health, and that one day it might even change his personality. It is the better option out of two appalling ones.

"Do what you can," he says to Edwin, and takes a pen to sign the piece of paper in front of him. He's never shied away from making hard decisions before and he won't start now.

ooooooooooooooooo

Merlin has set a meeting with Gill and Will for Saturday evening, and God, is he counting the minutes! It's such a relief that they're finally getting somewhere after all these weeks! Unfortunately the latest developments keep his mind working overtime and are distracting him from concentrating on his work fully. He's been easily distracted, and Arthur's ticked him off for at least twice since the morning.

Mind, it's not his fault only. Arthur's having one of his grouchy days where it's hard to please him, whatever, and he looks as if he'd partied non-stop for a week.

"I need to see Arthur. Now." A man with a headful of brown curls, most likely in his late thirties, scurries into the foyer of the reception without any explanation and heads straight for Arthur's office.

"Not a step further, sir." Merlin is on red alert. Everyone, no exceptions, has to go through him before they see Arthur. That's the 'rules' as they stand and, to make his point, he plants himself right in front of the office door.

"I'm the Chief of Police, you idiot. Get out of my way." This is quite impressive. That guy's very good at 'doing threatening', and if Merlin were of a more delicate disposition he'd definitely be intimidated.

"Anyone could say that, sir! Surely you have a badge?"

"Are you kidding me?" The man glowers at Merlin, but Merlin holds his gaze effortlessly.

"Just give me a second so I can check with ," he says, completely unphased.

"You really are testing my patience." Leon's has been getting increasingly annoyed by getting delayed.

"What a racket! Merlin, what's going on here?" Merlin swivels round to face a bemused Arthur who's been alerted by their raised voices.

He looks from one to the other and catches on to the situation in a split second.

"Looks like introductions are in order here. Leon McCloud, Chief of Police - Merlin Emrys, my new PA." He grins broadly. "Well, not so new anymore, but you haven't been up here for quite a while, Leon."

He half turns to waggle his eyebrows at Merlin. "You didn't recognize the first police officer in Camelot, Merlin? Really!"

Arthur tut-tuts and rolls his eyes in exasperation. Merlin grimaces. Of course he's seen Leon on the news and in the papers before, but as his head is swimming with endless toing and froing on what to do next to save his father, he actually hadn't looked that closely. What else can he do than to bite his tongue and smile sheepishly!

"This is a matter of urgency." Leon's impatience does not go unnoticed and Arthur ushers him into his office without a further comment.

"Get coffee and something to eat, Merlin. I could do with a bite."

Ten minutes later Merlin appears with a tray laden with sandwiches, cakes and two big mugs of coffee. He discreetly enters Arthur's office and guesses by the sudden hush that whatever Arthur and Leon are discussing is not meant to be overheard. Hmm. Curious.

"Just put the stuff over there." Arthur points to the coffee table next to the luxurious leather sofa. "Don't fuss, just get on with it."

Arthur's voice is strained and unusually tense, and Merlin throws him a side glance. The news Leon has brought must be highly explosive.

Maybe it's something to do with the Serum? Merlin's interest has been raised, and as soon as he's closed the door behind him he mumbles a spell which extends his hearing into the next room.

"…found him in a street hiding behind some dust bins. Somebody had reported seeing a boy using magic and when we got there, I just saw him disappear round the corner. Unfortunately for him, he got himself caught in a dead end," Leon reports.

"Did he use magic to defend himself?" Arthur asks gravely.

"Strangely enough, no, and he kept repeating that he's innocent."

"You're certain that this is one of the boys that got away with his family a couple of months ago?" Merlin takes a double turn. They must be talking about the family his father saved! It sounds like one of the children has been recaptured.

"Hundred percent. The question is what we're going to do with him?"

"Where is he now?"

"I put him into one the private cells at Ragnor House."

_Ragnor House?_ Merlin's mind is buzzing. That's the low security prison where the Head of Police is stationed. He knows that much.

"So anyone would have to go through you directly if they wanted to get to the boy?" Arthur pauses as if he's weighing up the facts. "How many people know who the boy is?"

"The arresting officer, Owen Montgomery, and me."

"Is he someone who can be trusted? Would he forget the incidence if you asked him?"

Merlin does a mental somersault. Why has Arthur not ordered the immediate prosecution of the boy? What makes him hesitate? Is he actually hinting that he wants to keep this incident quiet?

"Owen's a good guy."

Silence falls and there's no sound except the breathing of the two men until Arthur speaks up again.

"Let the boy go." Arthur's voice is hushed, but certain. Merlin freezes on the spot, too stunned to even breathe. Did he really hear what he thinks he's heard? Is Arthur serious?

"Take him back to where you found him and tell him to stop using magic in plain view of people. And make sure he understands that he will be prosecuted if he gets caught doing magic again," Arthur adds.

"What?" Leon stammers, apparently as flabbergasted as Merlin.

"I had a huge argument with my Father about this case." Arthur swallows so hard that Merlin can pick it up.

"I couldn't get my mind round why that family was sentenced. Did they commit a crime? No. Did they hurt anyone? No. Did they plot against the Government? Certainly not. They were just normal people leading a normal life. If they hadn't been reported by an overzealous neighbour with a grudge they'd still lead that normal life today."

"But they are sorcerers." Leon splutters.

"In their own home and to no ill effect."

"But the Serum IS the appropriate punishment for sorcerers."

"It is, by law. That's true. And if you ask my father you know what he'd say." Arthur admits, and Leon mumbles something in agreement.

Merlin's totally dumbstruck. Arthur, Arthur Pendragon, has actually stood up for someone doing magic? AND he is questioning the use of the Serum. Holy shit.

"Would the Serum not have helped them to become better people?"

"You don't need to remind me of the propaganda that's out and about, Leon." Arthur answers slightly surly. "I wrote some of that stuff myself."

"You do remember that you said on many occasions that the Serum is a godsend? That Camelot is a safer place for it?"

"I did." Arthur lets out a big sigh. "I never doubted it," he says. "Until now."

"What are you saying?" Leon's shock and surprise are evident.

"Things have happened recently that make me wonder about the Serum."

"Like what?"

"One of the chemists working for Edwin contacted me secretly last week and made some serious allegations …" Arthur says very quietly.

Allegations about the Serum? Merlin's sucks in a deep breath. Now that sounds promising. What could have happened to persuade one of Edwin's team to come forward like this?

"And you think that guy's telling the truth?"

"I don't know, but if any of it's true, it will have serious repercussions. He's asked me to talk to him at Lamia House."

"And you're going, I assume." Leon doesn't really need to ask, he knows Arthur far too well for that.

"Evidently I need to see for myself."

"Just be careful." Leon sounds concerned.

Arthur chuckles. "How can I possibly get into trouble in a high security prison?" They both laugh.

"Can I help in any way…?

"No, leave it with me for now. Nobody needs to know anything about this before I find out more myself. Understood?"

"You know where I am!" Leon says and Merlin deduces from the shifting of chairs that the meeting has come to its end. He hears the two men saying their good byes, and then Leon rushes past his office, just to return a second later and pop his head round Merlin's door.

"See you later, Merlin," he says and smiles. "Just wanted to tell you that you did a good job there earlier, fending me off. That's exactly what you should do when someone's trying to get to Arthur you don't know. I'm glad to see that you are looking out for him."

"Thanks!" Merlin says, still a bit embarrassed about his faux pas, but he does understand that this is Leon's half excuse for his own abrupt behaviour.

Leon's almost away when he turns his head one more time.

"And Merlin…. I don't know where you've been in the last five years, but it might do you some good to have a go at the "Who's Who in Camelot!" And he grins broadly before he disappears.

Merlin chuckles. Funny, how most of Arthur's senior employees turn out to be decent fellows with a sense of humour.

Merlin rubs his forehead and lets out a huge breath of air. Then he sinks into his chair, trying to digest what he's overheard. It is momentous news that could change absolutely everything.

If those allegations lead to something incriminating the Serum and its use, Arthur will do something about it, Merlin's certain about it. A glimmer of hope sparks in the back of his mind, and quiet optimism that, maybe, the future for his kind will not be as dark as before settles in his chest

He'd always assumed that Arthur knew exactly what the Serum did to people. All his kin had. How is it possible that he has no idea? Surely there must be reports about MUs that have died of it? Or studies which describe the side effects of the drug?

This revelation is shocking enough, but witnessing Arthur's leniency with the boy is the thing that bewilders Merlin most. '_Let him go_.' He'd said. Inconceivable! And directly against the wishes of the Governor who happens to be his father.

_He is brave and stands up for what he believes in._ Merlin would lie if he said that he isn't impressed, and the realization that Arthur Pendragon, son of the Governor and Minister of Justice, is a good and honourable man, shakes him to the core.

Ooooooooooooooooooooooooo

"Have you gone completely off your head?"

"Are you totally mental?"

"I can't believe you just said that."

"Are you on some kind of hallucinate?"

Merlin's lifting his hands in innocence trying to save himself from further verbal abuse as Will, Gilli and Morgana are all vetoing his suggestion.

"How can you even think about it?" Morgana's eyes are open wide in shock.

"Because I heard what he said, Morgana. That's why. And because I've got to know him better. Arthur's a decent guy. I swear it."

To say that the looks Merlin's getting are highly sceptical would be the understatement of the year. Apparently he's asked for too much too soon.

"Talking to Arthur about the Serum. Honestly!" Gilli shakes his head vehemently. "What the fuck are they feeding you there?"

"He knows there's something not right and he's going to investigate it. Once he sees what the Serum really does, he'll try to do something about it. I'm convinced about that."

Merlin's tried to argue his case for the best of half an hour, but to no avail. His friends are refusing point blank to listen. As far as they're concerned, telling a Pendragon the truth about the Serum is an utterly hare-brained scheme.

Naturally, Merlin can appreciate their point of view. They don't know Arthur and simply can't imagine that anyone bearing the Pendragon name has any good in them because it's against everything they were brought up to believe.

Merlin sips his pint and looks round the pub. It's stowed out with people on this warm, early summer night. This isn't exactly surprising because it's the only pub in this quiet suburban area which is why they originally chose it. There's usually a big crowd here, and their presence goes unnoticed and unquestioned.

Merlin looks at the worried faces of his friends, taking aboard that he's pushed the boat out too far. "Okay guys. I'll give in. I won't utter a word to him. "

Will and Gilli let out a sigh of relief, and Morgana smiles properly at him for the first time since they have settled down to this conversation. It was such a pleasant surprise when she appeared with his two friends to meet him earlier tonight. He'd thought that she was far too caught up in her studies to come home. Apparently she'd come back to visit Hunith and then had happily accompanied Gilli and Will when she'd heard of their get together.

"As for Edwin's computer, we'll be on the case by tomorrow morning, and be assured that we'll find a way to retrieve the information we're looking for." Gilli says in quiet determination which is wiped by a grin of schadenfreude the next second. "With all the technical problems Lamia House is having at the moment, we should be able to find a way in somewhere."

"True! The troubles there have hardly stopped." Merlin remembers Gwaine swearing under his breath only yesterday when he was called out for the umpteenth time this month. "Bloody sabotage. That's what it is, Merlin," he'd said.

Will waggles his eyebrows in anticipation, and Merlin grins, but when he turns round to Morgana he sees a dark shadow passes over her face. _Odd._

"Yeap. And we really have to get a move on. Time is precious," Will says avoiding Merlin's gaze. Balinor's been in prison for almost three months now and they're painfully aware that his time could run out at any point from now.

"Right, we're off then, Merlin," Will says and pecks Morgana on the cheek.

"Don't forget to pass the hypospray to Gaius." Merlin reminds him.

"Will do," Gilli promises although his voice gives away that he thinks this is a waste of time. Checking out Arthur's medication has nothing to do with finding the formula. _But he's still going to do it._ Merlin thinks gratefully, giving his friend a heartfelt hug.

A minute later the duo is gone, and Merlin and Morgana settle at their table with another drink.

"Are you alright, Merlin?" Her agitated voice is laden with worry.

"Do I look unwell to you?" Merlin retorts with a cheeky wink to lighten the atmosphere.

"I just cannot understand…," Morgana hesitates. "No, I simply don't get it, how you can even suggest putting your trust in a Pendragon, Merlin. After all they have done to our kind." Her gaze dips into his as if she's searching for reassurance.

"Arthur's a good man, Morgana. I have witnessed it first-hand. I spend most of the day with the guy so I should know! He may be a bit arrogant and offish at times, but down beneath his heart is in the right place!" Merlin hears himself defend Arthur just a tiny bit too vigorously, and from Morgana's edgy reaction he takes that she has noticed it as well.

"You're sure they're not brain washing you there?" She says and throws him a meaningful glance.

"Many of the guys I've met in the Ministry are just normal people. They're just like you and me …" Merlin stops short when Morgana physically cringes.

"People like you and me?" She pushes out angrily. "They're the ones upholding the status quo. They're the ones who make up the system, Merlin. They're our enemies, for goodness sake!" Morgana has turned more and more passionate with every word and her eyes have darkened with animosity.

"Working for the system does not automatically qualify you as a villain." Merlin says and, to prove his point, describes all the people he's become friendly with. However, the more he talks about them, the more Morgana withdraws from him, and Merlin becomes increasingly frustrated. Maybe it's time to turn the tables.

"And who are you hanging out with these days, Morgana? Still those radicals who would rather see a bloody war than solve problems peacefully?"

Morgana swallows and puts her hand on Merlin's. "Have you never thought, even for a tiny second, that perhaps … THIS is the only way?"

"Violence is never right, Morgana. For whatever purpose. And as much I'd like to see the Serum abolished, I can't condone that the blood of innocent people gets shed for it." Merlin stops, drawing her eyes to his. "And you know that Father would never ever stand for it, not even to save his own life."

Silence spreads between them and Morgana keeps staring at the ring of dampness her wine glass has left on the table. Her fingers are fidgeting up and down the stem and the expression on her face stirs memories. This is just the way Morgana used to look as a child when she'd tried to hide something naughty she'd done.

"Morgana." Merlin suddenly makes a connection that has failed him earlier. "Are you involved in anything dangerous?"

Morgana's biting the inside of her cheek which is a clear sign that Merlin's hit a sore spot. And she's avoiding eye contact all of a sudden, too. Now that is a worry.

"Tell me." Merlin insists because the idea of Morgana getting dragged into something that could potentially harm her is sending alarm bells through his head.

Merlin suddenly recalls her strange reaction when they talked about Lamia House and in a flash, he's putting two and two together. "The problems at Lamia House. Have you got anything to do with that?"

"Listen." Morgana looks straight up at Merlin, fire and passion in her eyes. "Some of my friends…they want to fight for our freedom. They want to see all MUs living the life they deserve. They want…"

"What are they doing?" Merlin's turned pale. "What are they planning to do?"

"Don't get your knickers in a twist, Merlin." Morgana's voice is suddenly harsh and condescending. "All they are doing at the moment is undermining the system. Rattle them a bit. Shake them out of their bloody self-content."

"So they ARE behind the problems in Lamia House?" Merlin knows it is a rhetorical question and Morgana knows that she doesn't have to answer.

"And what's next?" Merlin tries to push her. "What 's the next step in their plan to 'freedom'?

"I can't tell you, Merlin." And when Merlin blanches at her refusal, she clarifies. "Not because I don't want to, but because I don't know. They're aware what you're trying to do, and I think they're waiting to see what comes of it before they make their next move."

Great. No pressure then. Merlin puffs out a huge gulp of air and leans back.

Suddenly Morgana moves forward and takes his hand. "You know that I love you," she says earnestly, but the intensity of the words, laced with deep felt anguish, make Merlin halt and wonder. He's not seen her that upset for a long time.

"Of course I do. I love you, too, sis." He reassures her with a warm smile.

"I don't like it when we are cross." Her lips tremble and a couple of tears catch in her thick black lashes.

"I'm not cross. I'm just worried that you're getting tangled up in things that are way above your head." Merlin squeezes her hand affectionately and when he deepens his smile it is mirrored in her face a second later. Morgana gently strokes over Merlin's fingers with her thumb while she tries to find her composure.

"I hate seeing you twisted by the Pendragon system. They're brainwashing you, Merlin. Can't you see that? You're starting to talk like them."

"Don't be silly, Morgana. I am not getting brainwashed. I am just …." Merlin stops unsure how to continue while Morgana brings it to the point more successfully.

"It's Arthur, isn't it?" She says. "He is getting to you. Right?"

Merlin scratches his head. Maybe Morgana is right. Maybe he has been too close to Arthur for too many weeks and his views are influenced by that? Nonsense! He shrugs the comment off and goes on the defensive.

"What do you mean with that?" The room's suddenly become incredibly stuffy and hot, and there's sweat prickling on the nape of Merlin's neck. There's decidedly too many people in this room.

"I don't know how he does it, but he's changing you. I can feel it." Morgana looks at him thoughtfully and her eyes narrow. "I will not let him take you from me. However wonderful you might think Arthur is, Merlin, he is still his father's son. And don't you ever forget it!" Her eyes are blazing with anger and resentment.

Struck by her bitter words, Merlin decides it's probably best for them to take a rain check.

"I don't think we'll see eye to eye on this tonight, sis." Merlin smiles at her apologetically. "Why don't we let it go and you tell me all about what's going on at uni?"

Morgana nods, appearing somewhat relieved, and bends forward to place a soft kiss on his cheek.

"I don't want to lose you, Merlin." She whispers and rests her forehead on his shoulder. Merlin feels her body relax against his, and he gently holds her close.

"You'll never lose me, you daft twat." Merlin assures her tenderly, and then goes on to distract her with a whole load of questions about her life at university.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

It's a lovely night for late May. The air's mellow and full of the promise of summer. Merlin's heading steadily towards the centre of Camelot. The talk with Morgana has sent his head humming, and he needs some fresh air to think it all through, so the walk will do him good.

Their little tiff has admittedly rattled him. They've always been close and it pains him that this whole affair seems to be driving a wedge between them. Morgana was so intense in her belief and so emotional when he talked about Arthur…

Merlin's train of thought is interrupted when he sees a government limousine pull up in front of the small hotel about ten metres down the road. Instinctively he jumps into the shadows of the next doorway. Whoever this is, any person working for the government might have come across him in one way or another, and he certainly would not want anyone tracing his steps back to the pub.

A sigh of relief escapes him when a young man in his twenties Merlin does not recognize jumps out of the car. What the heck? Merlin chuckles when he looks at the guy more closely. _I've got a double in the government. Who would have believed it? _

The young man is about his height and also of very slim build. He's as gangly as himself and his hair is as dark. Looking at him from the back he could easily be mistaken for him. Merlin's marvelling at this coincidence when the other door of the car opens and a blond bloke steps out. And Merlin's heart stops.

It is Arthur.

This must be the hotel where he usually takes his 'conquests'. Merlin watches with bated breath as Arthur walks towards the other man and gives him a radiant smile. _Typical Arthur_. Merlin thinks grumpily, all those media reports about Arthur's philandering vividly in his mind. _Just one smile is enough to charm his way into someone's pants. _

Not that the dark-haired bloke minds. He happily slides his arm round Arthur's waist and whispers something into his ear that makes Arthur laugh out heartily. It's that award winning, heart breaking laugh and Merlin grits his teeth.

He'd had no idea that Arthur was still out on the dating circuit. _And why shouldn't he, _the voice of reason laughs tauntingly inside him. _It's not your bloody business what Arthur does to amuse himself in his spare time._ _Everyone has the right to a private life, don't they?_

Unable to drag his eyes away he watches as Arthur pulls the guy close and places a fleeting kiss on his ear. A fleeting, but very cute, tender kiss. Cute? Fuck. Where did that come from?

"Impatient, are we?" Merlin can half hear the guy's suggestive promise and his blood goes cold. Not that he can see it or anything, but it sure feels like that. Why on earth does it bother him seeing Arthur with another bloke? Arthur has a reputation, and he's living up to it. It's not worth getting uptight about that. Isn't it?

The thought dies a sudden death a second later when the guy tilts his head and brushes Arthur's lips with his and Arthur moans quietly in appreciation. For a moment Merlin's brain stops completely, then it turns into gluey mush which is rapidly followed by a razor sharp pain, cutting through his heart with ferocity.

The revelation strikes him like a bolt of lightning out of nowhere and, overwhelmed by the shock of it, Merlin stands there, motionless and agape with astonishment, while all those clues and hints he's pushed aside so many times suddenly click into place with the speed of sound.

The flutter in his stomach when Arthur laughs just the way he does now, the protectiveness that washes over him when he finds him tired and exhausted, the rush of heat when they accidentally brush arms, the tingle down his spine when he finds Arthur's eyes resting his on him unexpectedly and the intense reaction he's had each time they've touched.

The fog that has clouded his vision suddenly lifts and all becomes crystal clear. Merlin shakes his head as if he could get rid of the preposterous thought that's burning a planet-sized hole in his brain. It's too late to leave it unacknowledged, so he has no choice but to let it in, and while his eyes follow Arthur and his date entering the hotel, his mind stumbles and stammers before it allows his thought turn into a fully-fledged sentence.

"I wish it was me."

* * *

><p><strong>I'd love to hear what you think about the latest developments! <strong>

**Looking forward to your opinion, as always! :)**


	8. Chapter 8: The beckoning of truth

**Welcome to those who have started following this story since last week! Hope you are enjoying the ride. We'll see in this instalment how Merlin's coping with his newly found knowledge, apart from a few other things!**

* * *

><p>On Monday morning Arthur enters the office at 8 a.m. as usual. For once he looks rested and cheerful, and Merlin recognizes the tune he whistles as that of the latest hit single. Arthur is happy. Great. Wonderful. Isn't that nice.<p>

Merlin has steeled himself for this moment for hours. _Stay calm and act normal!_ He's told himself over and over again while chasing his sleep in the small hours of the morning.

"Morning, Merlin." Arthur shouts brightly and gives him a dazzling smile which immediately pulls the rug from under Merlin's carefully constructed calm composure without even trying, while those blue eyes send him near suffocating under an avalanche of emotions. He spent all Sunday analysing what his brain still finds impossible to accept a day later.

Okay, he gets it. For reasons unknown to him, he likes Arthur. Well, he did like him before, but now he really likes him. Shit. More than likes him. A fair assessment, judging by the huge lump in his throat and the heat on his face every time he thinks about him, which admittedly has been quite a lot since Saturday when this whole thing exploded inside him with a bang.

Merlin swallows hard. Yes, he can see the signs in hind sight. He's not totally useless at this. However, coming to terms with the facts is not as easy because it's downright bloody confusing.

He likes women. He loved Freya from the bottom of his heart. When he'd met her in his first year at university he'd fallen for her as soon as he'd set eyes on her, and that had been pretty much it. If the accident hadn't taken her, they would be still together. He's sure of it.

And women like him. At least that is what he's been told, (and yes at the bottom of the heart he does know, but is too modest to acknowledge it). Sefa likes him. He's pretty certain about that, and he's equally attracted to her. He'd actually played with the thought of asking her out before this Arthur thing sucked any common sense out of him.

Arthur, however, is a bloke - and Merlin quietly congratulates himself for his perceptive observation - a stunningly handsome bloke, okay, but still a bloke. So what the fuck is going on here?

He spent most parts of Sunday trying to figure it out and couldn't make head or tail of it until his mind went back to his High School days, and a face stirred somewhere in the depths of his memory. Kenan. Tall, athletic and handsome, he'd made his heart beat faster when he was fourteen. It hadn't been the kind of crush where you go all soppy and run around bleary-eyed. No, it'd been more like a quiet yearning that was left unacknowledged and, apart from appreciating the guy's eyelashes and a virginal longing to taste his lips, nothing had ever come of it.

He fancied a boy once, so what? Surely what he feels now cannot be explained away as easily as that? He was young then and right at the beginning of his sexual awakening, at a stage where he started discovering himself. Kenan was soon forgotten when Sophie introduced him to kissing a year later.

_Maybe the line of who you fancy is not that straight._ Merlin smirks at his own pun and grinds his teeth as he watches Arthur heading towards his office. Falling for a guy is unexpected enough and he's having a hard time trying to get his mind round it, but falling for Arthur, out of all men on this earth, is sheer insanity.

Arthur bloody Pendragon. The son of the Governor who nurses a vitriolic hatred against anything or anyone that's been touched by magic even in passing. Arthur who's a playboy per se and whose affairs have been well publicized. Shit. Merlin can only suspect that some kind of short circuit inside his head has severely damaged his emotional responses.

But it's not only confusion that's gripping him. There's also anger, a lot of anger, because all this emotional stuff is going to make him vulnerable and leave him wide open to failure, which he can't afford because too much depends on his success. Way too much.

That's also the point where the shame comes in. How can he sit here befuddled as soon as Arthur enters the room when his father's slowly dying of the Serum in cell No.32 at Lamia House? The Serum that's ultimately Arthur's responsibility. It's betrayal as vast as the Sahara. Yet, no matter how hard Merlin questions himself and his 'motives', he can't deny the fact that he's reacting to Arthur like a hormonal teenager on an extra heavy dose of pheromones.

Merlin startles when Arthur, at the absence of a greeting, returns to Merlin's desk to give him a questioning look.

"Anything wrong?" He asks, brows furrowing and head tilting.

_Everything_! Merlin's heart is shouting at full volume but he's very proud of his nondescript reply. "No, I'm fine."

"You don't look it." Arthur states bluntly and Merlin cringes inside. A quick manoeuvre of distraction is in order before Arthur, who's settled leisurely on his desk, while taking another stab at whistling that awful tune, asks any more questions.

"Sounds like someone had a good weekend," Merlin says, forcing a tiny smile.

"I did, Merlin. I did." Arthur winks at him suggestively.

The heat on Merlin's cheeks reaches red alert stage in 0.2 seconds and between the embarrassment of knowing exactly what Arthur's referring to and the pang of jealousy that tightens his heart, he has no idea what to say or how to react. No, he's completely out of his depth. His mouth's still gaping a moment later when Arthur scans him with suspicious eyes.

"You're sure, you're alright?" He repeats with a hint of concern.

"I'm fine. Now let me get on with my stuff." Merlin replies grumpily in an attempt to put Arthur off.

"Wonder who's a prat this morning?" Arthur takes the hint and retreats swiftly into his office.

Merlin buries his head in his hands and concentrates on getting his breathing under control. This is just not happening. How could this ever have happened?

Merlin rubs his eyes and lets out a momentous sigh. There's no way this can end well, and the best thing to do is to sweep all those inconvenient emotions under the velvety carpet of his subconscious and pretend that they aren't there. That's the only way forward. The only one.

"Merlin!" He almost jumps out of his skin because he's been so involved in his commiserations that he didn't notice Arthur's coming through again and standing right next to him.

"There IS something wrong with you, I knew it." Arthur looks at him so tenderly that Merlin's insides melt into puddles on the spot. It's only thanks to his iron will that he succeeds in staying cool and calm on the outside.

Merlin forces himself to meet those concerned blue eyes, ready for the onslaught to his blood pressure.

"I'm alright, really." He eventually chokes out, trying to mask the tremble in his voice.

"You know, you can tell me things, if you need someone." Arthur doesn't give up easily, does he? The soft kindness in his eyes and the warm sincerity in his voice make Merlin quiver. Why does Arthur behave as if he bloody cares?

Panic that he'll lose his composure and do something he might regret bitterly later is near paralysing him. And when he talks again, his words and the tone are much harsher than he intended.

"It's none of your business, Arthur, right?"

Arthur swallows hard, and the warmth that was there a minute earlier disappears into thin air to be replaced by rejection and hurt. He throws Merlin a resentful look and walks back towards his own office.

"I didn't intend to pry, Merlin." He grouches as he pulls the door to his office a little bit further closed.

Merlin doesn't know whether to laugh or cry, to feel relieved or pained, to suppress his want or let it out. He's never felt like this before, and it couldn't have come at a worse time in a worse situation.

A few more weeks, he thinks. A few more weeks.

The internal phone brings him back to reality. "And Merlin." Arthur says dead pan. "Fix me an appointment at Lamia House for Wednesday!"

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Arthur's had about enough of Merlin's weird behaviour. Particularly today when they are out and about and he could do with some of the prattle Merlin usually supplies quite generously.

"You've hardly smiled for the last two days," he remarks and swears at himself for voicing what was on his mind. Merlin has made very clear after all that he doesn't want to share any private thoughts with him, and so far, he's pushed every one of his offers to help away.

"Not a lot to smile about." Merlin stubbornly concentrates on looking out of the car window. There are dark shadows under his eyes, and his face graces what looks suspiciously like a 5 o'clock shadow. Arthur sighs in resignation. The fact there's nothing he can do, nothing Merlin will let him do, has been gnawing at him the last couple of days relentlessly.

"Have you been sleeping enough?" Arthur knows damn well that this is a bit rich coming from him and that it sounds ridiculously mumsy, but it's slipped out before he can help it. In fact, what he'd like to do most is take Merlin into his arms and hold him as long as it takes to make him smile again. _Yeap_. _Big chance of that!_ He thinks bitterly.

"Look Arthur, I appreciate your concern and I know that you mean well …," Merlin says a lot softer all of a sudden, and makes eye contact for the first time in the last 24 hours. Not that Arthur keeps a book about that or anything, it's just something he happens to notice.

"But there's really nothing to talk about, okay?" Merlin says and casts his eyes firmly onto the buildings flashing by outside again.

If there's nothing to talk about, why does Merlin look like a deer that's been caught and is desperate to get away? Arthur swallows hard, accepting that it's high time to shut up and leave Merlin alone. He's made enough of a fool of himself already.

"Look…," Merlin turns round and finds Arthur's eyes_. God, he's going to tell me!_ Arthur thinks for a spilt second before his mobile rings and the moment is gone.

It's Aiden. The bloke he picked up at Pulse 8 the other day. Aiden, who looks a lot like Merlin and whose touch left him warm and satisfied. Aiden, who deserves way better than what Arthur's offering because he's a genuinely nice guy.

To be fair, Arthur put his cards clearly on the table before they got involved. Aiden knows exactly what he's in for and, to Arthur, the bubbly theatre critic is the perfect distraction to take his mind of the man sitting next to him and who wants nothing to do with him on a personal level.

"Hi, there. How are you? Yes, I had a great time at the weekend." Arthur smiles into the phone and notices at the corner of his eye that Merlin's face suddenly resembles an iron mask.

Aiden wants to see him again. As soon as possible. At least someone seems to enjoy his company. Arthur feels rather gratified and smiles smugly.

"Sure. I'll see you on Friday. Same place as last time. 8 p.m.?" Arthur confirms their arrangement and laughs when Aiden blows him a kiss through the phone.

When he turns round to continue his cumbersome conversation with Merlin he finds him staring pointedly out of the window. If that's not a hint, what is? Merlin's shutting him out deliberately and of course he's perfectly entitled to that. Arthur is his employer and nothing else. It's not Merlin's fault that Arthur's still unable to put his personal feelings aside.

_Gwaine's so right. I have to detach myself from him before things are getting worse. Not that they aren't bad already. _ Arthur grits his teeth and vows that this is exactly what he's going to do. Detach himself. Soon. Very soon.

A change of subject is what's desperately needed, and as they're approaching their destination, Arthur needs to bring up what he intended to say since they got into the car.

"Listen, Merlin. There might be things you hear and see today, that cannot go any further." Arthur talks very quietly, and he's caught Merlin's attention.

"I have to check on certain things and I'm asking you to play along, even if you don't understand what I'm getting at. Understood?"

"Of course. You know you can rely on me." Merlin's deep blue eyes darken and Arthur gets momentarily lost in them before his reason pulls the brakes.

"I appreciate it." Merlin cringes at his words, and Arthur wonders why even paying a compliment causes Merlin to react badly.

Just as well that they've arrived and that he can leave the uncomfortable atmosphere in the car behind. When the limousine stops, a young guard opens the door immediately to then stand guard and salute Arthur with a stern face.

"Welcome to Lamia House, sir."

Oooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Merlin automatically follows in Arthur's footsteps. Arthur has almost had him there, in the car. He'd been squirming under his well-meaning questions like a worm left to dry in the sunshine, and he'd nearly given into those damn blue eyes and bared it all. Nearly. And thank God he hadn't!

That phone call had spelt out in bold letters why this would have been the most idiotic thing to do. It's brought home that whatever attention Arthur might pay him is certainly not because he favours him in any way. It's the way Arthur talks to guys. All guys. Gay or straight.

He enjoys flirting and wrapping people round his little finger with his charm. Of course the guy who he's seen with Arthur is no different. Of course he'd want to meet Arthur again. Of course Arthur wouldn't turn down an offer like that. Why should he? That's exactly his end game.

Merlin bites his lip so hard that he flinches. Whatever Arthur's stirred in him cannot be taken seriously. It's a fluke, and if he gives in to it, he'll end up as another number on Arthur's list of conquests.

_Is that what you want?_ Merlin asks rationally, to admit an instant later that he actually doesn't know what he wants. All this has hit him with such a force and so out of the blue he's hardly had time to digest it, and being in Arthur's presence most of the time hasn't actually helped.

Arthur taking him into his confidence earlier has made him feel even worse. Now he's not only emotionally confused and angry. As if that's not enough, shame and regret are mingling happily with it, too. Here's Arthur bestowing his complete trust on him, relying on his integrity and loyalty to keep any information they might come across under key and lock and he … he's lying to him every second. Shit. His situation has gone from complicated to bloody impossible, and he feels torn into so many different directions he's no idea where to look first.

"Look where you're going." Arthur has stopped unexpectedly, and Merlin almost knocks him over because he's not paid any attention where they're heading.

"I'd also like you to take a good look round while I'm talking to people. Right?" He says under his breath and Merlin nods.

"And please do try to not fall over your feet." Arthur grumbles and turns to follow the guard.

"Right up behind you, sir," Merlin mumbles huffily and follows the two men hastily.

There are several large buildings within the confines of the prison wall and as far as Merlin can tell they're heading towards a smaller one behind what seems to be the prison main block.

A big steel door opens, and Edwin approaches the two of them with a couple of measured steps and a smile that's not quite reaching his eyes.

"Arthur. I'm so pleased you've found the time to pay us a visit," he says and Merlin shivers. There's something about Edwin that instinctively repels him, that makes him cringe inside and causes his magic to recoil into the furthest corner of his being. It is the weirdest of sensations and Merlin makes a mental note that he should probably speak to Gaius about it.

"Edwin." Arthur returns the greeting and shakes the doctor's hand. "It's been too long, and I've neglected checking on any new developments of the Serum."

The Serum. Merlin forgets about his discomfort in a flash, and all his senses are suddenly fully alert. So it IS true that Arthur's come to see the person in Edwin's staff as he suspected. What else could the visit to Lamia House mean after what he'd overheard the other day?

"Yes, it's been a while and I'm so pleased to see you," Edwin repeats with insincere politeness followed by a cagey look. Merlin inwardly shakes his head. Surely Arthur can't trust a man like this?

"Yes, I thought Father had mentioned something about the fact that you'd made a minor change to the formula?" Arthur lies and for some reason this seems to hit a sore spot with Edwin whose eyes darken in suspicion.

_Does he know Arthur's leading him on? Is he going to call his bluff? _ Merlin unconsciously moves a step closer to Arthur.

To his surprise Edwin's face breaks out into a beaming smile while he gestures to follow him. "Of course, Arthur! Of course! Let's move into my office to discuss it."

They walk down a narrow corridor, Edwin and Arthur at front making polite small talk and Merlin trailing behind them. Finally Edwin opens an inconspicuous door at the end of the corridor.

"You know my immediate staff. " Edwin waves at four younger men, clad in white coats, who lift their heads when the entourage enters the lab. "Peterson, Johnson, Reddington, Smith." He introduces them to make sure.

"Gentlemen. I don't mean to keep you from your work." Arthur smiles and the four men acknowledge him before their heads go down to continue their research.

Merlin can't believe his luck. He's actually in the very place where the Serum has been developed and where it gets modified for "improved results" all the time. The formula must be somewhere here, and Merlin's drinking in every little detail in the room to store it to his memory.

Ah, and the joy to be in a lab again! Just to see the all the equipment and breathe in the typical smell…

"What are you doing, Merlin?" Arthur asks him with a puzzled look before Merlin realizes that he's automatically lifted a vial on one of the sideboards to have a look at it.

"I happen to like chemistry," Merlin mumbles defensively and puts the vial down.

"You and chemistry?" Arthur chuckles. "God have mercy on us. You'd blow us into smithereens in seconds!" And then he places his arm on Merlin's shoulder with the intent of guiding him to the office Edwin's just entered.

Arthur's touch takes Merlin's breath away. For just one moment the warmth of his body and Arthur's scent engulf him and he almost leans into the strong arm when the vision hits him, clear and intense as never before, and for the first time it comes with a strong wave of fear. Something inside Arthur is cowering and screaming for help, Merlin can feel it as if it was him and within seconds sweat appears on his forehead and his breathing is getting short.

"Are you alright?" Arthur asks quietly with a look of confusion on his face, while he removes his arm from Merlin's shoulder as inconspicuously as possible.

_He has felt it, too._ Merlin blanches at the thought. _What on earth is he going to make of it? _Merlin has no time to deliberate on it because they've now settled around Edwin's desk.

For a second Arthur appears to be preoccupied, but then clears his throat to ask again."So, you are introducing changes to the Serum?" He looks at Edwin with expectation.

"We have altered one of the elements that will allow us to use the Serum even more effectively. It reaches straight for the magic inside the sorcerer and attacks it full on as soon as it reaches the blood stream." Edwin says and pulls up a chemical diagram on his computer.

Merlin's heart is thumping for a completely different reason now. This must be it. The formula. Right in front of his eyes. Fuck. And there's nothing he can do to get to it. With Arthur and Edwin straight next to him he won't get even the tiniest chance to access the file in order to save it.

Merlin's eyes scan over the formula on the computer, recognizing some parts from his own research, but there is so much else, so many additional details he cannot possibly remember after one look.

Merlin's willing to risk everything at this moment. Getting the formula now would knock off days, if not weeks of the antidote's production. There is no other way than to use magic. Merlin doesn't even think twice about it. He whispers the spell to slow time inside his head and ….

When Merlin lifts his eyes in anticipation he finds to his horror that absolutely nothing has happened. What's going on here? Why isn't his magic working? Puzzled and irritated, he tries again, this time pushing a little bit harder and more determined, but to no avail. Startled, he looks round to find Edwin's eyes resting on him pensively. _What the heck?_

However, Merlin has notime to consider what all this means because Edwin's pointing at his PC, drawing Arthur into a lengthy, chemical discourse about what he's been trying to achieve. Or at least that's what Edwin would like them to believe. For it becomes clear to Merlin within seconds that the old doctor's making up chemical gibberish on the spot. He's dishing up technical sound bites galore to make his explanation sound grand, but effectively he's saying nothing at all. It certainly sounds impressive for a layman.

Merlin, however, is no layman, and sees through him like glass. This just confirms what he's been thinking all along. There's something wrong about the man, he can feel it in every bone of his body. He's got an aura of … nothingness about him that unsettles Merlin. That's the only way he can describe it.

Edwin finally finishes, and Arthur thanks him gracefully as if he's grasped every single word.

"Right, I'm pleased to hear of these improvements, Edwin." Arthur remarks as an afterthought and then gets up.

"I think I wouldn't mind inspecting the cells as well, as I am here, you know, two birds with one stone and all that." Merlin chuckles to himself. Arthur has a real talent for tactics, he has to give it to him.

Edwin nods. "Of course. I'll send one of my guys to take you. I have to send a report to John down anyway." John Marshall is the Prison Supervisor. A competent man who prides himself in running a tight ship.

Merlin barely hears Arthur extending his thanks to the doctor somewhere behind him because his mind is doing somersaults. The formula, his father, Edwin…

"Merlin! Would you stop staring into space?" Arthur's calling him impatiently, and Merlin makes an effort to clear his head. He'll have to weigh up everything later.

"I'll take you across to the Prison Supervisor, sir." One of the young chemists in the front room, Peterson, if Merlin remembers correctly, gets up and offers his services.

"Thank you, Peterson." Arthur smiles and a minute later they are heading down the corridor.

"The Supervisor's office is in the prison block," Peterson says, apparently out of politeness because it's obvious that Arthur knows where it is.

"I think it would be more convenient to take the back exit." Silent understanding passes between Arthur and the young man, and Merlin realizes in a flash that this must be the guy who's made the allegations about Edwin. Going by the petrified look on his face, he's already regretting that he has volunteered for this.

Arthur nods and not long after they find themselves in a shadowy corner between two buildings.

Peterson's expression changes immediately. "CCTV can't reach us in this spot and we can speak freely." He whispers while his eyes flicker around nervously anyway. He starts talking when he's sure that they have remained unseen, first hesitant and unsure, then more and more confident as he goes along.

"Last year, sir, there was this case against a young MU. Female, very pretty." Peterson blushes. "I… I … kind of got interested in her … , I mean the case. She was caught selling healing drugs she'd made with magic. It didn't seem ….right that she was sentenced to nine months in prison and the Serum. I kind of … noticed which cell she was sent to, and sometimes, just by chance, I walked past to look in on her."

Merlin can see how much embarrassment it causes the man to speak about this. Fancying an MU is not something people admit to lightly.

"I first thought that the Serum would help her, you know, to get over any problems she had with magic, but then…," Peterson's face pales and his eyes darken with sorrow. "She got really ill after about three months. Breathing problems, blinding headaches, nightmares, weakness. I accompanied Edwin on his routine check-up whenever it was possible. He injected her a couple of times, and I assumed it was some form of medication, but she got weaker and weaker and one morning we found her dead."

Peterson swallows hard and wipes a tear away that's made its way down his cheek.

"I'm very sorry for your loss." Arthur says quietly and Merlin almost jerks round. Arthur is sorry about the death of a sorceress? The notion sends his heart taking some wild, unrestrained leaps and makes him feel all giddy.

"What happened then?"

"I couldn't stop thinking about what had happened and eventually decided to check out her records."

"Are those not accessible to senior staff only?" Arthur asks gravely.

"Well, yes…. And no. There are restrictions of course," Peterson blushes. "But our department's small and you can figure out things if you put your mind to it."

"Right." Arthur sounds a bit miffed and Merlin knows it's because nobody should be able to get into those files. Any transgression of security is a serious matter to him.

"I was… pretty upset…I was. And I needed to find out why she'd died. I went through her medical history with a fine toothcomb and that's when I noticed."

"Noticed what?" Merlin asks and then holds his breath.

"She was never given any other medication at all. All she ever had was the Serum." Peterson looks up, straight into Arthur's eyes. "I am sure, sir, as sure as I could ever be, that the Serum killed her, and that Edwin knew exactly what was going on." He finishes the last sentence with a nervous puff.

"Did her family not enquire about her illness or request an enquiry when they found out that she'd died?" Merlin asks.

"Now that's the thing." Peterson is focusing on Merlin now. "Her family never got to bury her."

"What?" Arthur's brows furrow in disbelief. "So what happened to her body?"

"They were told that she had to be burnt because she'd died of an infectious disease."

Arthur swivels round in anger to face Merlin as if to find some kind of explanation. His jaw's set firmly and his eyes are blazing, and Merlin's heart soars with pride and hope. _Arthur believes Peterson._ _He will do something about this. He will put this right. _Merlin knows Arthur well enough to recognize that look.

Yes. That look. _God, Arthur's looks gorgeous when he's angry. _Merlin gulps quietly and wonders how much more random his brain can get. While he's busily deleting the errand thought, Arthur turns to Peterson again.

"All this happened about a year ago. So why didn't you come to me sooner?"

Peterson's a trembling mess now. "I couldn't be sure. I had no real evidence and I've got a good job here. A job for which I swore an oath of confidentiality." He hangs his head in shame and makes an unsuccessful attempt to keep his twitchy fingers still.

"So why are you coming to me with it now?" Arthur's scrutinizing the young man while he's waiting for his answer.

"Because I think it's happening again, sir. Maybe it's happened before. It probably has. But this time I'm sure about it." Peterson starts babbling as panic takes a hold of him.

"It is okay." Merlin says. "I think you're very brave speaking up now."

Yes, it is courageous of the guy to come forward at all, but isn't he taking a terrible risk speaking to Arthur? For all he knows this could be a government secret that he has just blurted out.

"Why have you come to Mr. Pendragon with this?" Merlin enquires curiously.

Peterson looks from him to Arthur and back. "I have a good friend who used to attend the same university as you, sir. He told quite a few stories about you and some other celebrity students. I know he's a good judge of character, and he never said a bad word about you."

The young man looks openly at Arthur. "I am sure I can trust you." _Wow. Now that's a vote of confidence._ Merlin sucks in his breath …. But from what he's seen Arthur seems to inspire that kind of feeling in many people.

"And so you can," Arthur reassures him with a little smile. "You're saying that you've come across another case like that?"

Peterson nods. "There's a prisoner who was given the Serum about two and a half months ago. The boss is particularly interested in him, and he's been down to see him regularly." Peterson steels himself to finish his report.

"He shows exactly the same symptoms as Myria… you know the girl…"

"The same symptoms. How does Edwin explain that? Have you challenged him about it?" Merlin's getting quite agitated. If Arthur sees at first-hand what the Serum does, if he understands how much harm it does, will he not ban using it?

"I did." Pride is shining on Peterson's face now. "He said it was the cold iron that effected the MUs."

"Right, and you reckon that this is not true?" Arthur's turned very thoughtful and quiet. Menacingly quiet, and Merlin ponders what could be going on behind those ice blue eyes and that square forehead, behind those classical features …_Shit. I'm doing it again. What the fuck is wrong with me? _Merlin shrugs his shoulder in defeat and tries to concentrate again.

"I checked it out as far as I could, sir. We don't have lot of literature about these things around. Cold iron causes nausea and a general feeling of weakness and it can kill in the long run, too. But it doesn't have all the other side effects Myria showed."

"Where is that prisoner? Can we see him?" Arthur's radiating determination now.

"I'm sure the Prison Supervisor will have no objection." Peterson says and leads Arthur and Merlin towards the main building where all the inmates are kept.

* * *

><p><strong>Anyone want to speculate what's going to happen next?<strong>

**Feel free to review, I really appreciate your opinion!**


	9. Chapter 9: Sons

**Hi guys, Thanks so much for all your continued support! Particular thanks to those who left their thoughts and ideas with me after the last chapter!**

**I just want to let everyone know that I won't be able to post next Friday. The Easter break is coming up and I will go away for a few days. So I'm planning to post when I get back, by the latest the Tuesday after that! Then I will continue with posting on Friday the following week!**

**Sorry to keep you waiting for the next chapter a little bit longer than usual!**

**And now let's see if you're right about what's going to happen next.**

* * *

><p>The prison Supervisor, John Marshall, is only too happy to show Arthur round and bring him up to date with the latest news at Lamia House. It's obvious he's a loyal employee and chuffed that the son of the Governor is taking a personal interest in his work.<p>

Merlin has been walking behind the two men, taking in the every-day realities of life in prison. The security measurements are impressive to say the least, even for normal inmates.

It is also the first time that he's seen Arthur act in an official role outside the Ministry and, admittedly, he's nothing short of brilliant. He knows how to relate to the staff in a friendly, but authoritarian way and understands what questions to ask to get them to speak to him. _He really is a born leader, despite his grouchy days_. Merlin bites his tongue even though he has not spoken the traitorous words out loud and wonders if his warped state of mind is having a detrimental effect on his subjective judgement.

"I would like to have a look at the MU section, as well, John," Arthur says that instant and leans over to John to say something else Merlin doesn't quite get. A couple of seconds later they are all heading towards the basement.

This is where they keep Balinor. Merlin swallows hard and he presses his lips into a thin line. He will be so close to Balinor, so close and yet…..

Huge metal doors open when they reach the secluded part that holds all inmates with magic. As soon as they bang shut behind them with a thunderous clank, Merlin senses it. Cold iron. It must be everywhere because a wave of nausea and weakness spreads through his body within seconds. Merlin almost yelps when his magic retreats speedily into a very dark corner of his mind and the power of the cold iron starts slithering slowly into every one of his cells. He gulps down the bile that's rising in his throat and summons all his energy to fight the vile sensation that threatens to overcome him. He can't imagine what it must be like to be exposed to this 24/7.

Peterson hurriedly whispered something into Arthur's ear before he returned to the lab, and Merlin assumed that he told him what prisoner he was talking about. So far he's been following Arthur without thinking, but what the heck? Trepidation hits him like a sledgehammer.

They are heading towards the cells with the higher numbers. Excitement, shock, and apprehension mingles with the nausea in his guts and the weakness in his limbs, and Merlin sways for a second. He quickly holds on to the wall and is grateful that Arthur's too busy speaking to the Supervisor to notice.

24, 26, 28, 30. Merlin does not even realize he's hyperventilating, and that cold sweat is slowly accumulating on his forehead the closer they are getting to the cell where Balinor is kept. And then the unthinkable happens.

They stop outside cell No. 32.

This is unreal. He never expected this to happen, and he's completely unprepared for it. Of course it's a stroke of luck, fate or whatever you want to call it, that he's getting the chance to see his father, but what will he find behind that door? And what if Balinor gives him away unwittingly?

His clammy hands clench into tight fists out of their own accord while his mind is reeling. He has to remain calm and vigilant but how is he going to keep a cool head? Merlin breathes through deeply a couple of times and tells himself to relax.

"Here we are." John Marshall swipes his electronic key over the security trigger and the door slides open.

"If you wait outside, please." The Supervisor complies with Arthur's request without blinking, and if he thinks that this is odd he's not letting it on. Who would contradict the Governor's son, anyway?

Merlin's doing his best to get his breathing and trembling hands under control, but his heart is thundering so loud now, he is sure that Arthur can hear it. And then they step into the cell.

It is small and insufficiently lit by a dangling light on the ceiling. Three pieces of furniture near fill the room: a single bed, a table and a chair, and there is also a toilet in the far end left corner. The biting smell of disinfectant is overpowering and coupled with the oppression of the cold iron, the dull lighting and the lack of normal sunlight, it is a place of desolation.

Merlin gasps at the sight of it and can hardly hide the horror he feels. Only someone who truly hates magic could have thought of a place like this. The Serum itself is a curse and the cause of untold misery for many sorcerers, but to be exposed to THIS on top of it can only be classified as torture.

_Father_! Merlin calls out in his head to the man who is crumpled up on the bed under a thin blanket. Surely, now that he is so close, nothing should interfere with Balinor hearing him?

_Father_! When the silence lingers on, dread settles in his heart.

_Father_! He whispers in anguish and moves closer.

_Merlin_? Balinor sounds confused and disorientated, but he has answered. Thank God! So he's still holding on. Merlin lets out a sigh of relief as he slowly walks up to the bed. And then his father turns round and Merlin cringes.

Balinor is skinny, almost skeletal. He can't have eaten properly for weeks and not even his full beard can hide his ashen face and sunken eyes. A web of broken blood vessels covers his skin, and his breathing's shallow and strained.

Out of a sudden Merlin doesn't care who sees him and what the hell the consequences are. This is his father and he needs to comfort him. Looking away or pretending is unconceivable.

_Father_. He says in his mind one more time, and when he puts his hand on Balinor's arm gently, his father slowly lifts his head and makes a feeble attempt at sitting up. Merlin grabs his arm and supports him while he struggles to put himself upright.

When Balinor has finally settled he looks up to face Merlin and hesitates. Then recognition lights his face for a second before a shadow falls over his exhausted features again.

"Are you real?" Balinor's shaking with the effort of talking, and he's so hoarse Merlin's struggling to understand him. _How could anyone do this to a human being?_ Merlin grits his teeth in helpless frustration and anger at those who have done this to his father.

"I'm real." Merlin's thumb strokes calmly over Balinor's hand. "I'm here to see you."

A tiny smile appears on his father's lips, and suddenly his eyes come alive.

"Balinor Emerson?" Arthur steps forward that instant to sit down on the chair and Merlin jumps at his voice. Balinor casts his eyes on Arthur and measures him for a few very long seconds before he speaks again.

"The young Pendragon." Balinor whispers hoarsely, and he looks at Merlin wearily. _Why are you with him?_

_I took a job at his office so I can find the formula_. Balinor's furrows his brows, clearly disapproving of the danger Merlin has put himself into.

_What does he want from me, Merlin?_

_To find out what the Serum really does._

_He doesn't know?_ Balinor lifts his eyebrows in surprise and Merlin gives a tiny shake of his head.

_Trust him, father and tell him everything._

"I need to ask you some very sensitive questions." Arthur says at this point and pauses, waiting for Balinor's consent to carry on.

When Merlin's father nods, he asks, "When did you fall ill?"

Balinor straightens his back and as his gaze pierces Arthur there's a flicker of the powerful man he used to be.

"This illness is not an illness, Arthur. The Serum has done this me. Nothing else. It eats away at the very soul of who we are by imprisoning the magic within us. It stops the continuous flow of our power through our body and then turns it against us. Magic needs an outlet, and as it has nowhere to go once it is confined by the Serum, it starts attacking us from the inside and destroys our bodies little by little."

Balinor stops and sags against Merlin, exhausted by his little speech. All the talking has sparked off a coughing fit and as his breath rasps in and out of his lungs, spasms rattle his whole body. Without thinking he wipes away the drop of blood that has started trickling down his chin.

It is sheer determination that allows him to carry on. "The Serum forces our magic to kill us from the inside."

"You saved that family to spare them this fate?" Arthur asks quietly, comprehension dawning.

Despite his plight Balinor's eyes smile at Arthur and he nods, and then adds in an evocative voice. "They hadn't committed any crimes. They were innocent. They didn't deserve to be punished. and the Serum kills. Look at me."

_Father_! Merlin's sobbing inside his head unwilling to believe the words that confirm what's been on his mind ever since he set eyes on his father. The sight of Balinor, reduced to a shadow of his powerful self is tearing him apart and brings home how little time he has left to provide the antidote that can save him.

_I have to save you. You can't die. I swore it. _ Merlin feebly repeats in his head all over again while tears well up in his eyes before he can avert it. _We are close to getting our hand on the formula. _

_I'm too far gone. I will not last much longer. _Balinor suddenly grips Merlin's hand tightly and their eyes lock. _I am glad that you've come, Merlin. To see you one more time means everything to me._

_No father, no._ Merlin cries desperatelyinside his head_, _hardly aware that his sobbing has become vocal and that a lonely tear is rolling down his cheek._ I'll save you. I have to save you._

_I have served my purpose. Now you serve yours_. Balinor squeezes his hand one more time. _Now go and make me proud. _And then he sighs, completely depleted of energy, and closes his eyes to drift off, leaving Merlin sitting next to him, numb and in shock.

"Merlin?" Arthur's voice cuts through the haze of his pain, and Merlin looks up teary-eyed in sudden realization.

Arthur. Fuck. He's been sitting there next to him all this time, watching him fall apart for a man he's not supposed to know.

Oooooooooooooooooooooooo

Arthur is trying to make sense of what he's just witnessed.

Merlin who is usually calm and collected and very much in control of himself, is crying. Crying. What is he supposed to make of that?

To give it its due, he hadn't been aware that the cells for MUs were that severe and, admittedly, the physical state of the sorcerer was shocking considering how strong and fit Balinor had been at the time of his trial. Within the three months of imprisonment he's deteriorated to a stage from where there's no coming back unless a miracle happens.

But Merlin more than over reacted, totally losing his composure at the man's fate as if he knew him, and he held the sorcerer's hand while they spoke! And though they didn't say a lot, he had the strange impression that there was something between them, like a bond or connection of some kind. Hmmm. Arthur furrows his brow, intrigued and puzzled.

Merlin remains a mystery to him, this being a prime example how little he really knows what's going on underneath that mop of black hair. If Merlin had been a woman he might have blamed PMT for his odd behaviour, but for obvious reasons that isn't a valid explanation.

Something has been wrong with Merlin since the beginning of the week and maybe seeing this sorcerer's predicament was the last straw that pushed him over the edge? Or maybe he is simply feeling under the weather? That would at least explain his peaky face and his trembling hands. Yes, he has noticed. How could he not when his eyes are drawn to Merlin as soon as he enters a room and when all his attention is centred on him whenever he's around!

At the moment Merlin's still sitting on Balinor's bed, his fingers firmly wrapped around his hand. _Shit, I hate seeing him distraught like this._ Arthur quietly shakes his head and simply does, what any sensible person would do.

"Merlin." He mumbles and gently disentangles Merlin's hand from the sorcerer's with one hand while he's rubbing his back in small circles with the other. That warm tingling feeling that he felt before when he and Merlin touched reappears in a split second, even if it is a bit softer and mellower than earlier in Edwin's office when he had felt it surging through him like a bolt of electricity.

That had been another strange occurrence and something he'll have to digest at another time. For now it is time to get their act together and leave.

"We really need to go." Arthur says and pulls Merlin towards the door.

"Sorry." Merlin's face is bleak, but at least he has come back to his senses.

Once outside the cell, Arthur makes a few superficial pretence comments about the cell to the Supervisor who's been waiting patiently and then takes his leave, making sure that Merlin is right next to him.

Back at the car, he ushers Merlin into the back seat.

"We need some time out, Fiodor. Take us somewhere green and calm, please." It is a beautiful, warm day and after the gloominess of the cell, he's in desperate need of some fresh air and it'll do Merlin good, as well.

Merlin has not said a word since they left the prison, but when the car takes off, he suddenly looks up to seek Arthur's eyes.

"I must explain…," he starts, but Arthur cuts him short.

"There's nothing you have to say just now, Merlin. Just relax and take it easy"

Arthur puts his hand on Merlin's arm to underline what he's said, and encouraged when Merlin doesn't immediately recoil, he runs his thumb gently over it, welcoming the tingling sensation between them like an old friend. And that is how they remain until Fiodor stops the car.

"There's a nice gentle walk up that way, sir." The young man waves at the path that meanders into the country park.

"Great choice. Thank you, Fiodor." Arthur says as he gets out of the car. Fiodor automatically follows as he's supposed to.

"I don't need you for this, Fiodor." Arthur is craving some privacy with Merlin and what danger could possibly lurk in this peaceful spot?

"But sir, your father…"

"Don't forget that you're answering to me first. We'll be an hour at the most."

And not expecting any more opposition, Arthur turns round to follow Merlin who has started walking up the hill slowly.

oooooooooooooooooooooooo

Merlin takes a deep breath, briefly relishing the warm sunshine and the cool breeze on his face, before bad conscience takes over. How can it be fair that he is here, enjoying the warmth of the air and the peace of the forest while Balinor lies in that wretched cell fighting for his life.

His father's words are hollowing in his head all over again. Go and make me proud. He'd said. As if he'd expected to never see him again. Merlin squares his jaw. This is not going to happen if he has anything to do with it. Even if the odds are against him.

Merlin shakes his head, suppressing the tears that are welling up inside him again and scolds himself. God, he has given enough of his emotions away in Arthur's presence. He has no idea what he must be thinking, but Arthur is no fool, and Merlin needs to keep up appearances.

_Arthur. _ Something warm and all-encompassing is tugging at his heart, pushing all his dark thoughts away_._ Back there in the cell and afterwards, Arthur gave him his unconditional support without asking any questions. He was kind, gentle and considerate and more sensitive than Merlin would have ever thought. His heart flutters and sighs in resignation. _He is not just a pretty face_. Gwaine was right. There's way more to Arthur than meets the eye.

Arthur's catching up with him already, and he has to make a very quick decision what to do now. There's nothing he wants more than to tell Arthur the truth. About everything. Their plan, Balinor, what all this is really about. He deserves the truth.

But Merlin can't do that because he knows it wouldn't be wise. For as much he appreciates Arthur and all he has done for him, for all the tangled love inside him that is unravelling itself more with each passing day, for all his belief that Arthur is good and fair, he can't be sure how he will react if he's faced with the bare facts.

Arthur has been brought up to see magic as a force that corrupts people and that it needs to be eradicated if Camelot is meant to thrive. Yes, he has shown sparks of understanding for MUs and appears more open minded than Merlin would have ever thought. When it comes to the nitty-gritty though, reason dictates that he can't trust the son of the Governor with the full truth at this moment in time.

He has known Arthur for almost three months, but that's not nearly enough to understand fully what's going on inside his brain and his heart. Merlin hates himself for being uncertain. And it does make him feel like a double-faced shit.

While Arthur didn't hesitate for a split second to trust him with a secret in the large scale, he has to refrain from doing the same. And keep lying. Right into the face of the man he is in love with. _Yes, bloody hell. I am in love with Arthur_. He shouts at his common sense in spite and lets out a gasp of relief for admitting it.

"Merlin!" Arthur's caught with him and they fall into step. Merlin has to say something, anything, has to give Arthur some kind of explanation.

"I'm sorry about earlier," Merlin starts with a hazy plan forming in his mind.

He senses Arthur checking him from the side. "That man in the cell, he reminded me so much of my father before he died. The same look, the same build, that image of weakness."

The lump in Merlin's throat is thick and heavy again, not only for his grief, but also for the half-truth he's telling Arthur.

"My father was a brilliant man. Honest and brave. And I always wanted to make him proud. In the end he died before I could prove myself to him. " A tear has broken free from Merlin's dark lashes and when it makes its way down his cheek, he quickly wipes it off before Arthur notices.

"I'm sorry to hear that, Merlin." Arthur answers quietly and claps his back affectionately. The vision comes and goes in a flash, and Merlin hardly takes note of it because all his senses register is Arthur's touch and the way his warm hand gently squeezes his shoulder at the end.

"You've had a rough time the last few days, haven't you?" Arthur throws him a furtive glance and Merlin blushes at the kind words.

Up to this point he's been convinced that all Arthur ever did was flirt with people and tease them to see how far he could go, assuming that he would get what he wants in the end. It is true that he's seen Arthur as the epitome of the eternal philanderer, as a man who relies on his looks and his charm to get through life.

But the way Arthur behaved earlier had nothing to do with flirting. No, he acted with compassion and sensitivity without asking anything in return, although he must have been mystified by his odd behaviour. A very warm feeling spreads in his chest. Actually, Arthur acted as if he cared.

The thought throws Merlin big time, and suddenly he doesn't know what to believe anymore. Fuck, this is all getting too much. He is emotionally exhausted and would love to stop all his feelings just for one second so he can take a breath to regroup.

Arthur has stopped at a sunny spot that offers a stunning view down into the valley and onto Camelot. The sun is beating on his face and sets his blond hair, all tousled and untidy from the slight breeze on the hill, alight. He's opened the top two buttons of his white shirt that's clinging at his taut muscles in all the right places and revealing the hint of a tan under whispy blond curls.

_He is stunning in every way. _Merlin swallows hard and blinks against the sunlight, and the urge to be close to Arthur, to be held, overwhelms him.

"Arthur." He croaks and moves a step closer. "Thanks for being there today. For me."

Arthur smiles and turns round to face him. No, to stare at him. One moment passes, then another and suddenly the air around them vibrates with tension.

"Anytime." Arthur says. Why is his voice shaking and why are his eyes looking so sad?

Merlin impulsively lifts his hand and brushes gently over Arthur's shoulder. Despite the early summer heat Arthur shivers at his touch, and unsure how to interpret it, Merlin is about to pull his hand away when Arthur takes it and holds it. Holds it that second too long and their eyes meet.

Merlin has no recollection who moves first or how it happens, but within the blink of an eye Arthur is right there in his personal space. For one heart stopping moment Merlin's whole world reduces to the anticipation of a kiss, but Arthur pulls him into a close hug instead, wrapping his strong arms around him.

The warmth of Arthur's chest pressed tightly against his takes his breath away and he gasps silently when the scent of Arthur's sun kissed skin starts filling his senses, taunting him to put his lips there to taste it. His fingers, lost on Arthur's back, trail softly over those broad shoulders, aching to touch that blond hair and the soft curls at the nape of Arthur's neck. And then he does, and Arthur takes a sharp intake of breath.

Merlin rests his head in the curve of Arthur's neck as if it was the most natural thing to do and when Arthur cups the back of his head to hold him, it is as if everything around them stands still. And in that fractious moment of time Merlin's world falls into place.

Until the little devils of guilt and shame raise their voices in the back of his mind, mocking his weakness for letting his heart rule his head. Look at you! They laugh derisively. There you are, making out with the man who allows people to be sentenced to a painful death in a dingy cell in the basement of a prison! Is that how you honour your father?

_Shut up! You know that's not who Arthur is._ Merlin defends himself, angry at such a deceitful thought. It is true though, that he can't allow himself to give into his feelings and that he has to stop this before he loses control completely. Actually, it has gone beyond that already. For once and for all, he should know by now that nothing will ever come of this, so there's no point pretending.

Deflated, Merlin zooms back to reality in supersonic speed. Shit. He's hugging Arthur and what's more, he's letting Arthur hug him in a way that's decidedly over and above a friendly embrace between blokes. Reluctantly, he withdraws from Arthur's arms and takes a step back, trying to find something banal to say, something to keep him from plummeting into the emotional abyss that's trying to swallow him.

"Thanks for your support." He manages to push out the set phrase in a jovial, business-like manner and looks away, when Arthur's face hardens and turns blank.

As much as Merlin is tempted, and fuck, he's tempted beyond belief, he has common sense enough to understand that he might regret later what his fragile state of mind would be happy to allow him to do just now. This is not the time and not the moment -if there ever is one.

"No problem." Arthur snaps back gruffly and turns round to face the sun again. His expression is unreadable, almost cold, and something inside Merlin winces and urges him to reach out for Arthur again.

Instead, Merlin clears his throat, collects his thoughts, puts a plug on his emotions and brings the conversation back to the topic that's more urgent now than ever.

"Do you believe what the sorcerer said?" He says, attempting to sound as neutral as he can, his eyes darting around, scared to face Arthur directly.

At the side of his eyes he sees Arthur stiffen and his shoulders slump for a brief moment. And then there's silence, and all Merlin can hear are the birds singing and the wind rustling in the leaves of the trees until Arthur's ready to answer.

"I did." He says dead pan. "I am going to access his records and check what medication he was given as soon as I get back to the office."

"So you believe what Peterson told us?"

"There's something very wrong going on in Lamia House, Merlin." Arthur says in a more normal tone and settles on the bench behind them. "A body disappearing? People dying of the Serum? Things like that should never happen."

Still fragile from an overload of emotions, Merlin needs all his will power not to shout out that this is exactly what's happening, and that it has happened for many years. So many lives have been cut short by the Serum and so much misery has been caused by it.

Arthur sighs. "From what we have learned so far, we can be pretty certain that Edwin is involved in this."

"He seems to be at the centre of it." Merlin agrees and watches Arthur who has started thrumming his fingers on the wood of the bench.

"The thing is…," Arthur hesitates and rubs his chin nervously, and Merlin senses how reluctant he is to continue. "If Edwin's up to something, my father might know about it, too."

Merlin's head snaps up in surprise. He hasn't thought as far as that, but of course Arthur's right. Edwin and Uther are close allies and it would be logical to assume that they work together on everything. Shit. Merlin scans Arthur's face, unsure what his next reaction might be. It's obvious that it pains him to raise suspicion against Uther.

"Are you going to ask him about it?" He asks tentatively.

Arthur takes a deep sigh. "It depends how bad this thing turns out to be, Merlin." And he gives him a wry look before he leans back and continues to speak quietly, almost as if it was to himself.

"My father appears harsh and unforgiving to many people, and I agree that for a big part he's earned his reputation. "

_I bet he doesn't often bare his soul like this_. Merlin thinks, full of humility that Arthur is trusting him enough to open up and share some of his innermost thoughts.

"It's true that my father's not the easiest man on earth, but I know that he loves me and that he would do anything for me."

Merlin hears the tremble in Arthur's voice, senses the uneasiness that has come over him and his heart goes out for him.

"I want to think that he's not involved in this, that this is all Edwin's doing. But I can't." Arthur stops and rubs his forehead. "I have no idea what I'm going to do if Father …."

Arthur finds Merlin's eyes before he continues. "I know my father. I know his strengths and his weaknesses, I can see that he makes wrong decisions at times. But at the end of the day he IS my father, and I respect him for what he has achieved, and … I don't like disappointing him."

"It's what any good son would do." Merlin assures Arthur, because that's how he's always felt about Balinor. But as soon as he's said it his reason is shaking its grouchy head resolutely.

_Listen to yourself! Morgana was right! You are agreeing with him! Did you actually hear that he's just admitted that he is his father's son?_

Merlin rubs his neck in frustration. Why is all this so bloody complicated? Merlin is asking himself yet again, but the appreciative smile Arthur gives him just then, stubs out any of doubts and qualms in an instant.

"Come on, it's time to go back, otherwise Fiodor will have a fit." Arthur stretches and gets up.

Just then, that very second, Merlin senses the presence of magic. And danger. Somebody that doesn't mean well. And he reacts instinctively as he lurches at Arthur and drags him onto the ground. Not a second too soon because an instant later a laser beam cuts into the bench behind them.

"Don't move." Merlin whispers, making sure that his body is covering Arthur who's too stunned to say anything. And ouch! What the heck was that? Has he dislocated his shoulder when he was falling?

Another laser shot singes the bench and bores a hole through the rotten backrest. _Now that does it._ Merlin growls angrily inside. _This will not go any further._ Nobody will hurt Arthur when he has the means to protect him. Fully aware of Arthur's body underneath him and his head next to his, he closes his eyes.

Shield us! He mumbles breathlessly to create an invisible shield around them.

Protect us! A big blast of magic surges through the shield to bust away their attacker. How gratifying to hear a man's voice swearing as he thumps on the ground somewhere in the bushes behind them! A second later he can hear his footsteps scrambling down the pebbly path to get away.

"Now that was a close call." Merlin says, as he pushes himself into a sitting position. To his horror the smell of burnt flesh drifts into his nose and when he looks down to check, he spots a large red stain on Arthur's white shirt. Sudden panic overwhelms him.

"Ar..ur, are you ..kay?" His brain's flooded with so much worry, he is hardly aware that he's slurring his speech and his eyes are struggling to focus. For a moment, dizziness makes his head spin and then, there's suddenly nothing at all.

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><p><strong>Sorry to leave it there - NOT ;)!<strong>

**Hope you enjoyed this good bit of Merlin whump!**

**And please remember it'll be a week and half before I post again!**

**Thanks for reading and reviewing!**


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