Naruto 1. Chapter 1: Merry Christmas

**(A/N)** This story is dedicated to **Hokata Yuy** for writing the best ShikaTayu story up to date. Happy Holidays!

I had originally intended this to be a one-shot but unfortunately, I like to be able to squeeze three very important things when writing AU; Beginning - Plot - Ending. These three things are the fundamental things of writing and I find it hard to include everything when writing and AU one-shot which is why this will be a multi-chapter.

Disclaimer: All the characters of Naruto are copyrighted property of Kishimoto-sensei. I would like to take credit for the plot and scenario of this story but alas, claiming copyright is a troublesome thing to do.

* * *

**Merry Christmas**

**December 24**

Christmas. To Christian Catholics and Protestants, this was a holiday where you celebrated the birth of Jesus Christ. To the Pagans, Christmas was a festival to celebrate the coming of Yuletide. To the people of Japan, it was merely a pleasant time of the year when people traded gifts and ate cake together, sort of like a second birthday. To Nara Shikamaru, Christmas was nothing more than a major pain in the ass. He didn't mind the spirit of Christmas, of course. He enjoyed the decorations just as much as any other guy and people being happy and wishing everybody around them luck or something like that was generally a good thing.

Christmas shopping, the bustling crowds that always came with the former, relatives and friends who nagged at him to join in on the festivities, snow and extreme cold were however _not_ good, in Shikamaru's opinion. He was never one to do a lot of shopping but his conscience had an annoying tendency of telling him to at least buy something for the people close to him. This meant that he had to take a subway train packed with other late Christmas shoppers like himself _all_ the way to Shinjuku and then walk around for hours to find what he thought his "loved ones" wanted and _then_ take the train all the way back to his apartment along with several heavy bags. Nothing short of troublesome.

His relatives and friends were even more troublesome. Of course, he'd go through the trouble of buying them gifts, he could handle that. However, he didn't understand why they wanted him to meet with them all at the same time every single year. He could easily ask someone to pick up all the gifts and deliver them to wherever the festivities were held but _no_, they wanted him to go there personally and spend time with them. The fact that he'd be forced to take a train even further than to Shinjuku and practically to the other side of Tokyo while carrying all the gifts made the ordeal all the more troublesome. Last year, he had managed to skip out of the little get-together with the excuse that he was too busy studying but that wouldn't work this year, seeing as he had already graduated university.

The young man suddenly shuddered as a gust of wind hit him, prompting him to pull his jacket a little tighter around himself. That was another thing he disliked about Christmas and winter in general; snow.

While others might like the slight change in scenery where the streets suddenly become coated in a fine layer of fluffy snow, Shikamaru would rather keep the summer-scenery around all year round. Gazing up at the dark evening sky, the young man gave a slight sigh as he thought of how the sky looked in the summer. Blue with several clouds spread out here and there. That was his ideal sky. In the winter however, he was faced with a sky that was almost constantly gray in color. He liked clouds, he really did, but there's no fun with them if you can't make them out as anything else other than a nation-covering, gray blanket.

The scenery reminded him of smoke, an enormous cloud of smoke blocking the view of the sky. The thought prompted another sigh from Shikamaru, seeing as smoke reminded him of cigarettes, something he was currently craving, which was why he was out and about in the cold weather on Christmas Eve on his way to the convenience store.

Shikamaru was a rather intelligent man but he didn't need even half of his wit to understand that smoking was a bad habit but he had his reasons for pursuing the poisonous fumes.

Finally, the small store loomed into view and the usually lazy man started to walk a little faster, figuring that the sooner he got his cigarettes, the sooner he would be back in the warmth of his apartment. Not even glancing at the homeless person sitting on a small chair right next to the entrance with a cap laid out in front of them, he marched right into the store.

He was a man on a mission; he could deal with bums on another occasion.

He suppressed a groan when he realized that there was a fairly long line to the counter, meaning he would have to wait still. Opting for a sigh instead, he figured he could at least take in the warmth of the convenience store. It was definitely better than being out in the cold. He started scanning the shelves lining the small isles, deciding that he might as well check for anything else he might need seeing as he was there. Walking down one of the isles, he quirked an eyebrow as he noticed a small display of Christmas cakes. A little late for that, he thought, considering it was already Christmas Eve. 'Must be leftover merchandise.'

Scratching the back of his head, he thought about it for a few moments before he plucked one of the small boxes from the display, thinking that he might as well. He looked around some more but found nothing of immediate interest so he took up residence at the end of the now slightly shorter line.

Shortly thereafter, he accepted his change and a small bag filled with his merchandise. He almost breathed a sigh of relief as he exited the store, greeted by the tunes of a flute. He gave a small smirk, feeling like laughing at himself. The homeless person had been playing the flute all along and he had been too caught up in his nicotine addiction to even notice it, despite the music being anything but quiet. Heck, he had even heard the sound of the flute inside the store but hadn't paid it any attention.

Shaking his head at how dulled his senses were becoming, he dropped the change the clerk had given him into the cap lying in front of the flute-playing bum as he passed him, thinking that he should probably try and cut down on the cigarettes just a little.

"Hey, shithead!" Said a woman's voice as he walked off, already opening one of the cigarette packets he had bought. So much for cutting down. "Hey, I'm talking to you!"

He thought the woman was talking to someone else and so he kept walking…until somebody caught him by the shoulder that is, forcing him to turn around and come face to face with the bum he just handed his change to.

He blinked at her, seeing her face for the first time. With her baggy, torn clothes and her long, greasy red hair hanging into her face like that, he had at first thought that she was a man.

His senses really _were_ becoming dull.

"Fucker! You think you can just laugh at my music and then fucking ignore me?" She looked rather angry. Her face, flushed by the cold, looked kind of funny when coupled with her red hair.

"Huh?" Shikamaru blinked dumbly at her, not following her accusations one bit. He may have been smart but he never did understand women.

The redhead pushed him, almost sending him to the ground. She was about an inch or so shorter than him and a bit on the skinny side, judging by the way her clothes were practically hanging off her frame, but she obviously wasn't a weakling and judging by her temper, she was packing quite the personality. "Don't fucking play dumb with me, you shitty rat! You were fucking smirking at me back there!" She glared fiercely at him as she grabbed him by the front of his jacket, her other hand holding her flute so hard that Shikamaru thought it might snap in two. "If you've got any complaints about my music then say it, shithead!"

Shikamaru was steadily getting annoyed by her attitude, which was evident in his twitching eyebrow. Heaving a sigh, he grabbed her hand and forced her to let go of him, "I wasn't smirking at you, I was just thinking about something funny." He turned around to leave, muttering, "Go back to playing your Christmas carols, troublesome woman."

He heard her making an angry sound, somewhere between a growl and a snarl, "Ah! You weren't even listening, were you?!" She called to him furiously, causing Shikamaru to rub his forehead tiredly. He just wanted to go home without a fuss but the homeless girl apparently had other ideas. "Hey! Wait the fuck up!" She ran past him and positioned herself in front of him, now donning the cap she was using earlier to let generous people drop their change in. "Don't fucking walk off like that, you fucker!"

Sighing at her colorful language, Shikamaru veered past her but she kept up with him, now walking backwards so she could glare at him with full force, "What do you want?" He asked in annoyance.

She narrowed her eyes at him and he half-expected her to hiss her reply at him but her voice actually got louder instead, giving her the appearance of a spoiled child, "I want a fucking apology!"

He didn't really understand why he should apologize to her but as stated before, he never did understand women, even less so their logic, so with a roll of his eyes, he grumbled out, "Fine, fine, I apologize now leave me alone."

She gritted her teeth, apparently not satisfied, "You fag-fucker! You're supposed to _mean_ what you say!" He had thought he meant what he said but apparently, his annoyed face had told her otherwise.

He rubbed his temples in annoyance before pulling out a cigarette, hoping for the smoke to make the girl go away or at least rid him of his upcoming headache. If he was lucky, both his wishes might come true.

"Hey! Are you fucking listening, you fuckhead?" She growled at him, shattering his hopes of the smoke driving her off.

His left eyebrow twitching in irritation, Shikamaru took a slow drag of his cancer-stick before turning to face the girl who was now trudging along next to him, having nearly tripped over her own legs when she walked backwards. "Don't you have anything better to do other than making my life hell?"

The girl gave a roll of her eyes that almost reminded Shikamaru of himself. "Oh, sure! In fact, I need to run off home to my wealthy family and order the maids around to do the dishes and prepare for a Christmas party tomorrow!" Her voice was dripping with so much sarcasm that Shikamaru actually winced. He should have known better than to ask a homeless person that kind of question. He would probably have felt bad about it if the girl wasn't so very much like a rash; the more you scratch it, the worse it gets.

Digging into his pocket, he pulled out a few bills and thrust them at her, hoping to bribe her away, "Here. Buy yourself something to eat and leave me alone."

For a second, the fiery redhead looked like she might accept the money but then her expression turned vicious once more, "Fuck you!" She slapped his hand away, sending the bills drifting off in the wind. Shikamaru almost felt like scolding her for wasting money like that but he felt that it would be too troublesome, "I don't need your fucking pity, asshole!"

Shikamaru gave another sigh of irritation, really starting to find this girl annoying, more so than when she first called out to him, that is, "Fine, don't buy yourself something to eat. At least leave me alone." He picked up his pace, now having another reason to get home quickly, other than the cold air.

His words were like fingers and the girl was the rash being scratched by those fingers, "Fuck you!" She was baring her fangs at him, matching her strides with his perfectly as she glared furiously at him, "Asshole! Shithead! Faggot!" She kept throwing insults at him at a rapid pace, swearing like a drunken sailor.

Shikamaru figured that if she was indeed a rash, then he should just ignore her and she'll eventually go away.

How wrong he was.

She was still throwing insult after insult at him when they reached his apartment house; a simple three story building with a staircase on one end leading to the upper levels. Shikamaru felt a small flicker of hope. Once he walked through the door to his apartment, he'd be free of the red-headed menace. His cigarette had burnt out a while ago and neither the girl nor his headache had gone away. His luck was really looking bad but at least his home would provide him with a wall that she couldn't pass through.

To his obvious displeasure, she actually followed him up the stairs and by now she seemed to be running out of direct insults, seeing as she'd started with the old cliché of insulting his mother instead.

By the time he reached the door leading to his salvation, she was practically breathing down his neck, leading him to believe that his home might not provide the sanctuary he so wished for. No doubt, she would stay outside the very door now facing him for hours to come, spouting her insults and other obscenities.

He rested his forehead tiredly against the door and closed his eyes, contemplating the idea of calling the police so that they might rid him of his problem. No, that would bring more problems than solutions. He knew how the police worked, there would be routine questions given to him, the one giving them the call, and that would take time, time he'd rather spend sleeping.

No, he needed a solution _now_. His mind was already working overtime thinking up scenario after scenario of approaches he could take and countless responses he might receive from the girl that had bypassed his earlier ideas. He nearly swore out loud when he couldn't think of something that would rid him of her immediately. When playing shougi, he could predict his opponent's moves while still planning several different strategies. He had never met someone who was good enough to beat him at the game yet. The problem was, when playing a game there were rules which restricted the players' movements and that made it easier for Shikamaru to plan ahead but when he was dealing with a person there were countless of different things that might happen. Of course, there were different probabilities that he could rank his solutions after but this girl had proven to be rather unpredictable.

"Hey! Why the fuck are you-!" The girl's sentence was suddenly cut off by a loud rumbling noise. At first, Shikamaru thought that a very large amount of snow had just slid down the roof but then he realized it was the girl's stomach growling. Looking over his shoulder at her, he found her standing there with a blush on her cheeks and her hands on her belly, glaring angrily at him as if daring him to make fun of her.

One of his most unlikely to succeed ideas pushed itself to the front of his mind, encouraging him to give a sigh and hold his plastic bag out for the girl, the bag still containing his cake, "Here, I don't really like cake anyway." He was almost eighty percent sure that she would react just like she did when he offered her his money but he figured that he should try. Maybe offering her food directly would be too tempting for her to resist.

She blinked at him, her glare softening ever so slightly but it was still there. Slowly, she accepted the bag and peeked inside it. He could have sworn that she grinned in a giddy manner as she saw the small box inside but when she looked up her face was completely blank save for a small frown on her lips.

Quirking an eyebrow, he asked her, "What? You don't like strawberries?" He tried very hard not to let the corners of his lips curl into a small smile.

Her glare returned full force, "Who the fuck doesn't like strawberries?" She growled, reaching into the bag to pull out the box containing the cake. Shaking it around a little in front of her, not enough to ruin the cake but still enough to make a point as she complained, "I can't just fucking eat it with my fingers, asshole!"

This time, both his eyebrows shot up and Shikamaru actually gave a small chuckle. For a bum, she was surprisingly aware of hygiene, "Troublesome woman." Turning back to the door, he unlocked the door and stepped inside. "Wait here, I'll donate a spoon."

Practically in a fit of joy because he would soon be left alone, he kicked his shoes off and threw his jacket off to the side. Shikamaru's apartment was rather big and well-furnished, not exactly looking like the home of a bachelor just out of university. Then again, he had been pretty quick to get a job so it wasn't that much of a surprise that he'd found an apartment with a living room, a bedroom a small but functional western-style kitchen and even a small walk-in closet. Hell, he even had a shower in the bathroom. He shuddered as he remembered the time before graduation, living in that small room with neither kitchen nor shower. He had been forced to make a rather long trip to the bath house every other day.

He rummaged around the kitchen, grumbling as he dug through all the many different utensils. His former girlfriend had insisted that he bought everything that could be of use in a kitchen, never mind the fact that he preferred instant ramen and other fast food over direct cooking, saying that it was less troublesome to prepare. But nay, she wanted to be able to cook for him every time she came over, even though they could just as easily eat out.

He shook off the memory of the troublesome woman, pushing her memory into the 'past' section of his mind where it belonged as he finally found what he was looking for. To anyone else, it might look like a regular tea-spoon, but to Shikamaru it was a key; a key that would open the door to his ideal evening. It would bring him peace, quiet and-

"Heeeeh, you've got a pretty nice place here, for a shithead."

Shikamaru's brow twitched and he sincerely hoped that her voice had not been so close to him as it sounded. Slowly turning his head, he looked out into the living room to see the redheaded girl look around his home with what appeared to be great interest. "I thought I told you to wai-"

"Ohhh, presents!" His sentence was cut in half like a badly cooked noodle by her almost happy-sounding voice. Snickering to herself, the irritating woman started to dig through the bags in which he kept his newly bought Christmas presents, even taking out a particularly large box and shaking it, trying to identify the contents by the sound.

Shikamaru gave a displeased frown, not exactly enjoying her barging in like that, "Hey, don't just go rummaging through other people's things."

She turned to him with a glare and a slight pout which looked very out of place on a rough-looking girl like her, "Don't be such a fucking prude, it's not like I'm gonna open it."

Shikamaru sighed, palming his face, "Look here, you-"

Again, he was cut off, "Whoa, nice computer!" She dropped the present she had just been inspecting and walked over to what he considered to be his 'office area'. How she had managed to not notice the computer when she first entered the apartment was a mystery to Shikamaru. Inspecting the flat-screen monitor with a slight grin, she threw another comment at him before he could speak, "Heh, you must be pretty loaded if you can afford high-tech stuff like this."

The young man resisted the urge to slap his own face. Only an amateur would judge a computer's price and performance by the monitor. "Listen, just take the spoon and the cake and get out of he-"

"What the fuck? A suit?" She had walked into his bedroom and was now peeking into his walk-in closet, staring at his business suit with what appeared to be mocking glee. "What? Are you one of those office slaves who do the same thing day in and day out? Fucking pathetic!" She gave a laugh, now going about prodding his bed, as if testing if the softness was to her tastes. Shikamaru dearly hoped she wouldn't try lying down on it.

Eyebrow twitching in irritation, he walked out of the kitchen with the spoon in his hand, the very spoon that was supposed to have easily brought an end to all this, "I don't want to hear that from a street-bum. Besides, I'm not an office worker, I work from home." Rubbing his temples, he gave another small sigh, "I only wear the suit when I'm meeting with clients and stuff."

Looking up from her investigation of his bed, she blinked owlishly at him, "Clients?"

Crossing his arms, Shikamaru leaned his back against the doorframe to the bedroom, looking equally as annoyed as he felt, "I'm a private investigator. I guess you could call me a detective."

The girl raised an eyebrow, smirking in a skeptical manner, "What? Like that Sherlock Holmes guy?"

Giving a slight smirk in response, Shikamaru shrugged, "Something like that, though it's not like I get to solve many big crimes like Sherlock. I usually just help clients with juridical stuff, like a lawyer. I've helped the police with a few small-time jobs, helped one or two clients find some missing family member but that's it, I don't get to work that much but that's fine by me." He blinked. Why the hell was he telling her all this? Telling her stuff about himself meant that he would be an acquaintance of hers and he did _not_ want that.

She scrunched up her face, her eyes narrowing as she looked down a little, seemingly deep in thought, "A lawyer?" The look on her face and her questioning voice almost made Shikamaru want to smirk and ask her if she actually knew what a lawyer was but he decided that instead of provoking her again, he should try once more to get rid of her.

"Yeah. I'm not officially a lawyer but I've got the education of one. Thanks to that, I know just what laws you're currently breaking by trespassing in my home and what kind of punishment you'd receive if I called the police, which I will unless you get out of-"

"What's your name?" She asked him as if he hadn't even spoken.

Knowing each other's names meant they'd really become acquaintances so Shikamaru tried to steer clear of having to answer, "My name shouldn't be of any interest to you, seeing as you're leaving. Now." He held the spoon out for her to take and jerked his head towards the bag with the cake she had left in the living room. He was really getting tired of her company, longing for solitude.

She glared defiantly at him and he expected her to start cursing at him again but instead, she surprised him by saying, "I'm Tayuya." She said it as if telling him her name meant that he was obliged to tell her his. "Now tell me your fucking name."

Shikamaru glared back at her tiredly, wanting nothing more than to just throw her out but she had really struck gold by telling him her name. She might not know it but Shikamaru had been brought up to at least try to be polite, even though he rarely succeeded. When someone tells you their name, you tell them yours; those were the words currently nagging at him in his head. His mother had done her best to beat a little mannerism into him and as much as he wanted to refuse the girl's, Tayuya's demand, he found himself answering with a loud sigh, "Nara Shikamaru, now get out."

Tayuya raised an eyebrow, "Nara?" She smirked and Shikamaru instantly knew what was going through her head, "'Shika'…maru?" Here it comes, Shikamaru thought with a groan.

The annoying woman burst out laughing, clutching her sides, "A-A d-deer from…Nara!" She slumped down on his bed, practically laughing her ass off in the literal meaning.

Shikamaru reached up to rub his forehead, feeling his headache intensifying. It was bad enough that the first part of his given name meant 'deer' but to have a family name that's the same as a prefecture famous for their wild deer herds made the matter all the more troublesome. This wasn't the first time someone had made fun of his name but he was sure it wouldn't be the last time either. That didn't really provide much comfort though.

"If you're done laughing then get out of here, I'm tired." He turned to leave the bedroom, thinking of getting himself something for his headache.

With his back turned, he failed to see the grin on the girl's face as she replied in a surprisingly cheeky manner, "Hell no."

The young man hung his head, feeling defeated for some reason. He heaved a heavy sigh, "And why not?" Even as he asked that, he felt Tayuya brush past him. She threw her large and dirty jacket on his couch, revealing a torn red t-shirt that looked to be three sizes too big for her.

"You really wanna throw a poor girl like me out in the cold?" She asked innocently as she grabbed the plastic bag from the floor and headed into the kitchen. Well, as innocently as someone as foul-mouthed as her could, at least.

"Yes, I do." Shikamaru answered without missing a beat, following her into the kitchen where he found her sitting by the table, a fork in her hand and a smirk on her face.

"Heh, too fucking bad, 'cause I'll be spending the night here, whether you like it or not." She opened the small box containing the cake and stared down at it with hungry eyes, "Tough luck, shithead."

Shikamaru couldn't stop himself anymore. With a loud groan, her turned around and walked straight over to the opposite wall in the living room and started to bang his head against the wall, the sound of his head connecting drowning out the sound of Tayuya's snickers.

After a few minutes of constantly banging his head against the wall, he stopped and just leaned his forehead against the surface of the wall tiredly. Ironically, it had helped cure his headache and clear his head. He knew that the best course of action would be to call the police, that way he could at least get rid of the annoying nuisance who called herself a woman. The biggest problem with that idea was that he had no illusions about the girl at this point; he knew that she would raise hell if someone tried to remove her from there against her will.

He almost felt like crying over his dilemma but he refrained from doing so. Men don't cry and Shikamaru was a man, hence he would not cry.

He looked down at the spoon in his hand, glaring at it angrily. It had been his key to salvation but it had failed him. With a grunt, he threw the spoon over his shoulder and headed for the bathroom, thinking that a shower might make him feel better. He didn't bother with worrying about whether the girl would try to steal anything. He simply didn't care anymore. Besides, the only thing directly worth stealing in his apartment was his computer and he was pretty sure that she didn't want to carry something that heavy around. She might steal the presents of course, but that would be fine with him, that way he had an excuse for not showing up at the get-together tomorrow.

He spent a good thirty minutes simply standing in the shower, letting the water slide off his body as if hoping that it would wash away his problems. Maybe if he stayed in there long enough, the girl would just pick something easy to steal and then 'escape', effectively leaving him alone and blissful. Of course, he knew better than to believe that and so, with a sigh, he turned off the water and started to dry himself off with a towel.

When he left the bathroom, dressed in a simple t-shirt and a pair of shorts, he looked around almost suspiciously. As far as he could tell, everything was still where it was supposed to be. In other words, she hadn't stolen anything from the living room and he didn't keep anything of value in neither the kitchen nor the bedroom. It was safe to say that she hadn't stolen anything at all.

So why the hell was it so blissfully quiet?

Figuring that he'd be stupid if he thought that she'd left, he walked over to the kitchen door and peeked inside. He was met with a widely grinning, flushed face mere inches away from his own, "Hey, fucktard…" Shikamaru nearly stumbled backwards as Tayuya's breath hit him, reeking of alcohol. "You were in there for a damn long time. What? Were you 'pleasuring' yourself or something?" She gave a snicker, wobbling a little as Shikamaru leaned back with a grimace, "Fucking pervert…"

Looking past her, Shikamaru confirmed his suspicions. On the table stood the sake bottle he had received at least a month prior as a thank you gift from one of his clients. It looked like she had drained quite a bit of its contents already.

Apparently still sober enough to be observant, Tayuya raised a glass full of the beverage in front of her as she spoke, "What? The cake made me thirsty…"

Shikamaru sighed, rubbing his temples, "So you decided on the only alcoholic drink I have instead of juice, water or coffee?" If a foul-mouthed, homeless, trespassing woman was troublesome then a foul-mouthed, homeless, trespassing woman who was also a _drunk_ was probably the equivalent to hell on earth.

Tayuya gave him a look of boredom, her eyes lidded halfway as she shook her glass back and forth. Shikamaru was surprised that she didn't spill a single drop, "Hey, it's not like you can't buy more of it. Shit, this is just some cheap crap, you know." Even though she said that, she seemed to enjoy the taste of that 'cheap crap' when she proceeded to gulp down half the contents of her glass, letting out a long breath afterwards, "Not even good enough to wash away my problems."

Rolling his eyes, Shikamaru stepped past her and into the kitchen. He refused to acknowledge the fact that he had tried to 'wash away' his own problems mere minutes earlier, though with a more sober method. "Tch, if you're gonna freeload off me then you could at least ask for permission before doing so." He picked up the bottle, contemplating for a second if maybe he should pour some for himself. His lapse of judgment didn't last long and so he put the bottle back in the fridge where it belonged.

Tayuya snickered, leaning drunkenly against the table, "What? You mean you wanted me to stick my head into the shower so I could ask for 'permission' before drinking?" She laughed, waving a hand in front of her face, "Sorry but I don't want my innocence ruined."

"What innocence?" Shikamaru asked with a roll of his eyes, "If you mean the kind of innocence you'll find in kind, pure-hearted girls then I think you must have been skipping school while they were handing it out to the good students."

He headed out into the living room, intent on going to bed. Drunk or sober, he didn't want to deal with that troublesome woman anymore. Before he could even reach his bedroom, however, he felt something heavy strike him in the back and at the same time he heard Tayuya yelling out a loud and slurry, "Fuck you!" He hit the floor hard and gritted his teeth, wincing as he tried to roll over so he could get up. The second he was on his back though, he found himself pinned to the floor by the drunken redhead, who glared down at him.

"Just 'cause I'm drunk doesn't mean I can't kick your ass, you shitty rat!" She yelled at him, sitting straight up as she straddled his waist. Her expression turned less fierce and her head kept tilting from side to side, her eyes suddenly unfocused.

Shikamaru sincerely hoped she didn't have to puke, "R-Right, I get it, now get off of me." He didn't like the idea of having his face covered in barf; that would mean he would have to take another shower and that would be troublesome.

She narrowed her eyes and tried to glare at him though it was a little hard to do seeing as her eyes kept flicking around, "Hey…don't fucking tell me what to do…" She leaned down, putting her face dangerously close to his. Shikamaru was once again subjected to her alcoholic breath attack and he was trying hard not to grimace, thinking that he might provoke her, "You're…a lawyer, right?" She asked him unexpectedly.

"Huh?" Shikamaru blinked, some of the girl's hair tickling his face.

She frowned angrily when he failed to answer her question, "You said that before…didn't you? You're…like a lawyer…" She was swaying from side to side, looking like she was riding a horse and in the danger of falling off, "I've got a job for ya…" She mumbled.

Shikamaru managed to raise an eyebrow in response to her unexpected announcement, "A job?" He'd met strange clients in the past, everything from jealous wives who wanted him to follow their husbands and catch them in the act of cheating to kids who wanted him to find a lost pet but this was the first time he'd been approached by a homeless girl.

She nodded, though it looked more as if she was trying to make her own neck snap, "Uh-huh…" She tilted her head to the side and peered at him through lidded eyes, as if she was trying her outmost to read his expression.

Shikamaru gave a mental groan, his eyebrow twitching. There was one thing he needed to ask before finding out what the 'job' entailed and he was pretty sure he wouldn't receive a good response, "And…how are you planning on paying?" He didn't need his high IQ to guess that the girl pinning him to the floor was just a little short on money.

The girl in question gave a grin so sly Shikamaru almost expected her to sink her fangs into his throat. Giving a low snicker, she leaned down even further, her forehead resting against his, "Your pay will be…me leaving. Until you're done with the job, I'm staying…"

Shikamaru felt his world crumbling around him. 'Staying', that word was echoing through his head so loudly he felt like his skull was going to split. She was staying? As in, staying here? She'd be staying with _him_ in _his_ apartment until he finishes her so-called _job_?

"H-Hold on a min-!" There was no way he would agree to the job, he didn't even need to hear the details regarding what he'd be required to do, the thought of having to deal with this woman for an unknown amount of time was enough for him to turn her down, "There's no wa-"

She cut him off by placing her palm over his mouth, effectively silencing him as she glared directly into his eyes, "If you won't do it then I'll just be living here for the rest of my life."

She was blackmailing him…and she was enjoying it. Somehow, she knew just how irritating her presence was to Shikamaru and now she was using it to her advantage. This was why women were so troublesome. In Shikamaru's eyes, they were all manipulative bitches. His only option now really _was_ calling the cops but something, a little voice in the back of his head, told him that something as silly as police-officers wouldn't be enough to stop her from making his life a living hell.

As soon as she removed her hand from his mouth, he started to protest, "Hey, you-!"

Before he got to say anything else, Tayuya slumped against him, burying her face in the crook of his neck, mumbling in a way that made him shiver, "No arguments…" She shifted a little, one of her arms coming to rest around his neck.

Shikamaru paled when he realized that she was planning to sleep in this position, "H-Hey-!" He tried to push her off but as he did, the arm around his neck tightened uncomfortably and she refused to let go. Not in the mood for being choked, Shikamaru stopped trying to push her off. Soon enough, he felt her steady breathing on his neck and he was confident that she'd fallen asleep, prompting him to try and push her off again…and he received the same response as earlier.

Closing his eyes, he let out a defeated sigh, "Troublesome."

* * *

**December 25**

"Ino, are you sure this is such a good idea?" Chouji asked is old friend as he walked next to her, munching on some chips.

The girl in question turned to give him an annoyed look, "What are you talking about? Of course it is! What kind of friends would we be if we let Shikamaru laze around all alone on Christmas?"

Chouji scratched his head, trying not to smile, "Really good friends, considering how annoyed he gets during Christmas." He still held the memory of last year's incident close to heart; Shikamaru had practically barricaded the door to keep anyone from bothering him. Sure, he had decided to do some serious studying for once but that didn't mean that his mother would accept the fact that he wouldn't come home for Christmas without a fuss.

He had heard that Shikamaru still had nightmares about that. Seeing Nara Yoshino breaking through a door and practically foaming at the mouth could do that to a person.

Ino turned her nose up and harrumphed, "I promised his mom I'd make sure he went along with the get-together this year." Suddenly, she gave a smile. The way she could go from moody to cheery so quickly could be scary, "Besides, I'm his unofficial secretary; it's my job to take care of him!" Chouji was about to point out that she herself was the one who gave her that title and that Shikamaru always said he preferred to work alone but he wisely kept his mouth shut. "That lazy bum, I hope he's kept his apartment clean. I don't wanna end up cleaning up after him again." Ino grumbled.

Chouji chuckled, shaking his head, "Knowing Shikamaru, he's probably tried his best to keep the place as spotless as possible to keep you from nagging at him." He gave a full laugh, picturing his best friend frantically running around his apartment and cleaning dust with a toothbrush.

Ino glared at him for a moment but soon joined in with the laughter, knowing full well that Chouji was right. Even though she was busy laughing, she still slapped her friend's hand away as he tried to sneak it into her bag, no doubt trying to steal a quick sample of the cake she'd brought.

"Ow!" Chouji whined, rubbing his hand as he threw Ino a sad look, hoping to sway her conscience. It didn't work.

"Don't even try, Chouji. You got yours this morning, this is Shikamaru's share." Ino smirked and moved the bag to her other hand, out of reach from her gluttonous friend who whined.

"Aww, come one Ino, just a quick bite, Shikamaru won't notice."

Ino turned her face away, smirking in an almost satisfied way, "Nope, this is all Shikamaru's. Knowing him, he's probably been living off of cup ramen and instant curry or something equally bad for his health." She giggled, holding the bag to her chest, "What would he do without me, huh?"

Chouji raised an eyebrow at her, a teasing smile spreading across his plump face, "Heh, you're acting like a love-struck girl on Valentine's day, only that it's Christmas." He snickered, opening up a new bag of potato chips, now that his plans to sneak a taste of Shikamaru's cake were spoiled.

Ino blushed violently, her face beat red as she took a step away from Chouji as if afraid of him, "Wha-wha-wha-what're you saying, Chouji?" She forced a loud laugh, "M-Me and Shikamaru? No way!" She waved one of her perfectly manicured hands at him, as if batting away his comment, "Shikamaru and I are just friends, like you and me!"

Chouji chuckled, shaking his head, "Whatever you say, Ino." He turned to face her fully, grinning from ear to ear, "Oh, by the way, you _do_ know that cake is just as unhealthy as cup ramen and instant curry, don't you?"

Chouji was nursing a lump on his head all the way to Shikamaru's apartment house.

When they finally reached the building, Ino rung the bell to Shikamaru's apartment and they both waited.

No answer.

Ino furrowed her brows, "That's weird." She tried knocking instead.

Chouji tilted his head and crossed his arms, a thoughtful look on his face, "Maybe he's out?" He looked down at his wristwatch, "It's already afternoon, after all." He didn't really believe that theory himself. Shikamaru never got up before noon if he could help it and it would then take several hours for him to leave his home if he was planning on doing something.

Looking annoyed, Ino started to bang her fist against the door, "Shikamaru! Up, up and awake!" Chouji couldn't help but snicker at the old 'hero-chant' Ino always used to shout whenever she went to wake Shikamaru as a kid. The three of them had been through a lot together, their families having been really close for generations.

Ino was getting impatient and so she tried the handle. The door swung open with a small '_click'_. Ino looked at Chouji, surprised. Shikamaru was lazy, yes, but he always made it a point to lock his door whether he was home or not.

Shrugging, she pulled the door open fully and stepped inside, thinking that maybe he had forgotten something for once. "Shikamaru!" She called out cheerfully, kicking off her shoes as Chouji followed her inside. "Time to get-" She stopped dead in her tracks, the bag with Shikamaru's cake falling to the floor.

Chouji was about to scold her for being so careless with something so very edible but the he saw her reason for stopping so suddenly. On the floor in Shikamaru's living room lay two people, one being Shikamaru himself and the other being an unknown girl, all tangled up together.

Chouji suddenly noticed that Shikamaru's eyes were open and had very visible bags under them. He looked as if he had aged several years over night as he weakly uttered, "H-Hey…"

The girl taking up residence on top of him stirred, mumbling something about everyone being so noisy before she looked up, opening her bleary eyes.

She looked at the two newcomers who stared back at her. She blinked at them and they continued to stare at her. Suddenly, she broke out into a slight grin, Saying what she apparently thought as being the most appropriate thing to say, "Merry Christmas, fuckers."

* * *

**(A/N)** For those of you didn't understand the jibe about Shikamaru's name; it's a pun. His whole name is a pun. The first kanji in his name, _Shika_, means deer and Nara is a prefecture in Japan famous for having a herd of Sika deer. 

While I am infamous for being late in updating, I feel I have gotten back in the loop of writing and so I will try to provide you with regular updates of this fic.


	2. Chapter 2: Issues

**(A/N)** For the few people of you who actually reviewed the last chapter; thank you. For those of you reading this chapter; Happy new year! For those of you who asked; no, I doubt I'll ever make Shikamaru and Tayuya have sex. Even if I did, I doubt I'd write anything explicit seeing as lemons aren't exactly my thing.

I forgot to mention this in the last chapter but there might be some remote manga-spoilers in this story regarding characters and the like. You have now officially been warned.

Disclaimer: The characters of Naruto are all property of Kishimoto-sensei, I own nothing.

* * *

**Issues**

**Chapter II**

"So, you're saying your name is Tayuya-san?" Ino asked, smiling politely at the girl sitting across from her.

"Yup…" Tayuya more or less answered, nursing a throbbing headache due to last night's alcohol-intake.

"And…" Ino continued, still smiling pleasantly at her, "…you're going to live here with Shikamaru for an undecided amount of time?"

"That's right…" Tayuya gave a small nod in response, wincing as her brain was almost flipped over like a fried egg by the slight movement. At least that's what it felt like.

"And you'll also be expecting him to provide you with food as well?" Ino cocked her head to the side, her eyes crinkling up happily in accordance to her smile.

"Uh-uh."

"And you'll continue to do so until he finishes this 'job' that you've asked him to do…" Ino continued, resting her chin in her hands as she leaned forward over the low table in Shikamaru's living room. "A job that you won't even give me, his secretary, a single detail about, not about what he has to do or anything at all that would be expected to be put in a contract?"

"Damn straight." Tayuya answered with a small smirk, resting an elbow on the table.

Ino just continued to smile like an angel, "I see!" She said with a slight giggle, prompting a nervous chuckle from Chouji who was seated on the tatami floor next to her. Suddenly, the blonde's fist came down and slammed into the table loudly, sending the small ashtray sitting peacefully on it flying into the air as her polite demeanor disappeared completely, "Like HELL am I gonna approve of something as utterly ridiculous as that!"

Tayuya grimaced as the loud sounds of both the fist impacting with the table as well as the voice of the blonde girl caused her head to act like the inside of speaker box. She was feeling all the physical and mental drawbacks of drinking known to man, causing her to silently ask herself why she had felt so inclined to drink the night before. Obviously, living on the street brought about its fair share of troubles and the most irritating one was depression. Tayuya had always viewed alcohol to be good for three things only; confidence, manipulation and of course her current favorite; drowning your sorrows. It was so awfully cliché that she almost felt like punching herself for indulging in even the mildest and most private of self-pity and she no doubt would have gone through with that feeling had it not been for the fact that she felt like her head would split in half if she did. Sitting up a little straighter, she leaned over the table to meet Ino's fierce glare with one of her own as she pulled up the sleeves of her large T-shirt up to her shoulders, "Listen up bitch! Just 'cause I've got a hangover the size of your big ass doesn't mean I can't beat the crap out of you!"

Ino sputtered indignantly, her face gaining a furious red color. She had to stubbornly resist the urge to bend her body sideways so that she could inspect her rear. Gods forbid that that her butt was _big_ considering all the dieting she insisted on doing, "Wha-What the hell!? Y-You flat-chested _bitch_!"

Tayuya stiffened, her face heating up as her anger rose even further, "Flat-!? Why you…!" Planting her hands firmly on the table, she leaned so close to the other girl that their noses were practically touching, sparks flying.

Chouji looked on helplessly as the two women glared daggers at each other, growling like a pair of lionesses fighting for dominance over the other. He cast a glance over at Shikamaru who was sitting off to the side, next to Tayuya, silently begging him to step between them before somebody got hurt. He nearly fell over in shock as he saw his friend sitting there with his head in his arms, snoring quietly. He should have expected it though, from what he had heard, Shikamaru had been wide awake all night, terrified of falling asleep lest he move in his sleep and rouse the wrath of the drunk girl who had appointed him as her own personal cot.

The plump young man gave a sigh that sounded awfully close to a whine as he rose up a little and held his hands up. He forced a smile to his face as he set in motion his plan of calming the two alpha females down, "N-Now, now…calm down you too…"

The response was immediate. Both women turned on him, each brandishing a loud answer of their own. While Tayuya's "Shut up, fatass!" would no doubt have sent him off into an angry frenzy of his own, he was currently too scared to be temperamental.

"This bitch is too much!" Ino declared loudly at the same time, pointing in a quite rude manner at Tayuya…or, to be more precise, at her chest, Tayuya in turn glaring down at the offending finger, "There's no way I'm just going to calm down and say 'oh, it's quite alright, please, by all means, take up residence here with one of my best friends and elope with him like there's no tomorrow'!"

Tayuya blushed vividly, both out of anger and out of embarrassment, "What the hell!? Who the hell would wanna 'elope' with _this_ guy!?" She pointed to her side at Shikamaru's pointy ponytail, which was currently sticking straight up like some sort of black cactus.

"You were practically all over him, you slut!" Ino said accusingly, stabbing her finger through the air in the other girl's direction.

Tayuya slammed both her fists down on the table, causing Shikamaru to stir slightly in his sleep but he didn't wake up, "I was drunk off my ass and just fucking fell _asleep_ on him! Big fucking deal!" She sat back and crossed her arms, stubbornly looking away from the blonde girl, "Besides, if we were gonna elope, we'd have to run away for it to actually be fucking 'elopement'. Learn what the damn words mean before you use them, stupid."

"Hey! I'm perfectly fluent in my own language, thank you very much!" Ino in turn, crossed her own arms and looked away as well, turning her nose up for good measure, "I'm pretty confident that 'eloping' means having intercourse."

Tayuya gave a mocking snort, turning to look at Ino with a nasty smirk, "That's 'ero', you dumb blonde."

"What was that!?"

"You want some of this!?"

Chouji sighed, hanging his head. He didn't have the heart to tell Ino that Tayuya was right. This had escalated far enough already, "Uhm…can we get back on topic again?"

The two women turned on him once more, blinking in confusion as if they'd forgotten why they were arguing in the first place. Ino was the first to recover, "Ah. That's right." She cleared her throat and placed her hands in her lap in an effort to appear professional. Her posture didn't stop her from turning her glare with full force on Tayuya though, "Anyways, you living here is completely unacceptable."

Tayuya propped her elbow up on the table and rested her cheek against her knuckles, leveling Ino with a bored look that was surprisingly Shikamaru-ish, "Uh-huh, and why's that?"

"That's obvious, isn't it!?" Ino yelled, fighting to keep what little composure she'd managed to gather together, "A man and a woman, unrelated, unmarried, living together. Someone like Shikamaru has a reputation to live up to, you know."

Tayuya merely closed her eyes and gave a sigh of irritation, "Then I'll just fucking marry him, problem solved. I'll divorce him as soon as he's done with the job, that way I can get a little extra cash from when we split his money." She smirked. Chouji had just opened a bag of snacks, the situation apparently making him hungry. He choked on a mouthful of chips as he heard Tayuya's solution.

Ino looked absolutely horrified, not to mention scandalized, at Tayuya's words, "D-Don't joke around!" She slammed her hands down on the table and glared furiously at the redheaded girl. Tayuya was somewhat surprised that the table was still standing on all four legs despite all the abuse it had endured during the last few minutes. "You can't just go around marrying someone you don't even love like that and then divorce him just to get his money, you damn gold-digger!"

Tayuya merely raised an eyebrow at the girl, finding her reaction sort of amusing. Her proposal was merely a joke, of course, but that didn't mean she couldn't fuel the fire just a little more, "Why not? It's not like I'm doing it to get his money, that's just a bonus." She gave a shrug, smirking cheekily at Ino, "Besides, people marry complete strangers all the time." She gave a wave of her hand, turning her head away with a smug look on her face, "Well, I suppose it's only natural for an uneducated brat like you to have never heard of an _omiai_ before."

Ino gritted her teeth. It was true that _omiai_ and arranged marriages were quite normal in Japan even in that day and age. Strictly speaking though, an _omiai_ was merely a meeting between families to see if the two 'candidates' were suitable for marrying each other, "That's still out of the question! You still can't marry someone and then just divorce them!"

Tayuya was nonchalantly digging some ear wax out of her ear, not even looking at Ino as she answered, "People divorce all the time too, you know."

Ino growled in frustration, curling her hands into fists in her lap, trying really hard to suppress the urge to slam them down into the table again, "That's not the issue here! Marriage is a sacred thing!"

Tayuya made a sound of annoyance. Her headache had finally toned down a little but that didn't mean she wasn't irritated by it, "Ahhh, you're so fucking annoying…" She raised an eyebrow in apparent curiosity at Ino, tilting her head to the side, "Why the hell are you getting your panties twisted about this? It's not like his life is any of your business, you know."

Chouji wincing as the word 'touché' ran through his mind. Ino sat there, mouth drawn into an angry pout as she struggled to come up with a viable reason to be involved in this mess, "I'm…I'm his secretary! It's my job to…to…" She tried desperately to find the right words. Somehow, she didn't think that 'it's my job to get involved with his personal life' would sound too professional.

"To suck his dick?" Tayuya finished for her with a smirk, causing the blonde's face to heat up indignantly. Chouji promptly choked on his chips again.

Still, Ino managed to avoid rising to the redhead's bait as she finished, "To take care of him." Using the same words she had told Chouji earlier that day, she kept her face as passive as she could manage, even though her brows furrowed together in irritation, "Shikamaru got out of a relationship not too long ago. To have you here will only be a bother to him." There, she had managed to save face and act mature while doing so.

Tayuya closed her eyes in disinterest, "Good for him, the sooner he learns that relationships are for fucking idiots, the better."

Chouji had to restrain Ino as she tried to literally pounce on the girl over the table, "Why you-!" There were three things that the blonde girl held close to heart; family, friends and the concept of love. She held things like romance and relationships in high esteem and Tayuya had thus far been treating love and marriage as something that was far, far below Ino's ideals.

Needless to say, this resulted in yet another shouting match between the two women, Chouji trying desperately to hold his friend back while Tayuya kept throwing insults at her. For some reason unexplainable to Chouji, the redhead looked almost happy as she spouted obscenities.

Even though she was shouting in the angriest tone possible, a small grin was tugging at Tayuya's lips. Last night, she had nearly shouted her throat dry at Shikamaru but the lazy sod never rose to the bait. All she received in return for her insults where looks of annoyance and irritation, never did he show any obvious anger. It both annoyed and intrigued Tayuya. No matter what kind of person you are, if someone keeps giving you a verbal beating you will inevitably snap sooner or later. Shikamaru, however, had not snapped. Tayuya digressed. She always finished what she started and even though she had at first been out for an apology, she soon made it her personal mission to cause the lazy man to show anger. In an almost desperate move, she took the chance when he left the door open and made herself at home in his apartment. She had watched gleefully as his irritation escalated, feeling that she was close to winning this little thing she had affectionately dubbed a 'battle'. However, as soon as she heard of his profession, all thoughts of simply making him snap for her enjoyment left her. She had met him out of pure coincidence and yet there she was, in the home of a private investigator. She simply couldn't let the chance slip from her fingers and so she held onto it for dear life. The fact that she still managed to make Shikamaru start bashing his own head in was a bonus of course.

"Ah! I-Ino! We're gonna miss the train!" Chouji shouted suddenly, actually managing to make himself heard over the two women's loud voices. He was holding Ino by the waist to keep her from scratching the living daylights of Tayuya when he had happened to glance at his wristwatch.

Ino's head snapped up to look at a clock hanging on the wall, something she had personally bought for Shikamaru as a present when he first started his little business. Her eyes went wide as saucers when she realized just how soon their train would depart, "Shit! Chouji, grab the presents will you?!" She said frantically, getting to her feet. Nodding quickly, the chubby young man hurriedly got up and went to collect the shopping bags containing all the gifts Shikamaru had bought, "And you!" Ino said loudly, stalking around the table to get to Tayuya, "You're leaving, _now_!"

Tayuya nearly winced at the look in the blonde's eyes. She really meant business and she certainly managed to get quite the grip on her arm, pulling at her forcefully, "Ow! Lemme go you crazy skank!"

Ino, no longer in any mood to play any games, only grabbed onto Tayuya's arm with both her hands and pulled hard, leaning back as she tried to make the redhead budge, "Get up!"

"Suck a cock!" Was Tayuya's response as she grabbed onto the couch with her free hand, holding onto it like a tick. She planted her butt firmly on the tatami mats, trying desperately to use her legs to keep herself in place.

Suddenly, Ino lost her grip and stumbled backwards, landing hard on her rear with a yelp. Tayuya scrambled to get a hold of the couch with both her arms, moving her legs to latch onto it completely as she glared menacingly at Ino. The effect was ruined however, by the rather childish pout she had on her lips.

Ino quickly got back on her feet, rubbing her head with a frustrated growl, "Oh, for the love of-!"

Ino!" Chouji called out hurriedly, already waiting by the door, his arms full of bags and presents.

Ino made a catlike sound in the back of her throat and shot Tayuya a look that clearly said 'this is far from over' before she hurried over to Shikamaru, "Get up, you lazy bum!" She pulled him to his feet with surprising ease, the young man only half awake when she forced him to put his jacket on before pulling him towards the door, "Go, go, go, _go_!" She ordered frantically.

Tayuya frowned unhappily, she had hoped to 'discuss' the details of her job with Shikamaru as soon as his two little friends left but she hadn't counted on the fact that they would take him with them. Thinking about it now, she should have expected it. Why would he have a bunch of Christmas presents lying about if he wasn't planning on visiting his family? Still, he should be able to go by himself, dammit!

Thinking quickly, she got up and ran after them, grabbing onto Shikamaru's arm, prompting an angry 'hey!' from Ino when she leaned in and whispered in his ear, "You better get back quickly, fucktard." As Ino moved to grab her, probably hoping to pull her out of the apartment, she quickly let go of Shikamaru and scurried off into the kitchen. Ino growled and, at Chouji's prompting, pulled her friend along, closing the door with a loud slam behind them.

Tayuya peeked out of the kitchen as if making sure that they'd really left. With a sly grin, she held up the keys she had nicked from Shikamaru's pocket, waving them about slightly, silently mocking the blonde girl who couldn't see her anymore.

* * *

Shikamaru grumbled quietly to himself as he walked up the road towards his parents' home, his two best and oldest friends flanking him on either side as he struggled to keep a yawn from escaping his lips. 

He didn't succeed.

To say that he was tired would be quite the understatement. Normally, Shikamaru was the kind of person who preferred to get at least fifteen hours of sleep every night. He had tried to squeeze in a quick nap on the train but Ino's constant chattering had kept him awake. Some might say that spending so much time asleep is not only bad for your health but also a big waste of life. 'Why spend your time sleeping too much when you could use the time for better things like living and having fun?' someone had once asked him. He had been very close to answering with 'Living is too troublesome' but that would most likely have earned him a number of hours with a counselor.

"You better throw that girl out as soon as you get home. You hear that, Shikamaru?" Ino told him, looking more than a little peeved. Most of the train ride had consisted of the blonde girl badmouthing Tayuya, pointing out every little thing she felt was wrong with her, starting with her foul language and continuing all the way to how she kept her hair and how she dressed.

Shikamaru heaved a sigh, "Right…" Chouji patted him on the back sympathetically, offering a weak smile. Whether the gesture was for his situation with the homeless girl or for Ino's constant nagging, he didn't know.

Of course, he was in no way inclined to let the girl stay and he was even less inclined to take her on as a client. No matter how hard he tried though, no matter how many plans he laid out in his head, he could not for the life of him figure out a way to make the woman leave. Bluntly telling her to get out had proven to be fruitless. Blackmail might have been a good idea if he had anything to use against her, which he obviously didn't.

Giving a mental sigh, Shikamaru realized that he only had two options at this point; either he'd just pick up his phone and call the police or he used force to throw her out. Somehow, he had a feeling that neither of the options would bear much success.

Shifting the bags in his hands, the lazy man gave another sigh as his childhood home came into view. It was a normal-looking two-story building in the outskirts of Tokyo, standing there alone and away from the bustling sounds of the city. For a stranger, it would probably look like nothing but a normal Japanese family home, which was true to a certain degree. Had it not been for the small herd of deer that the Nara family had been raising for about three generations now, Shikamaru himself excluded, then it _would_ have been nothing but a normal family home. He had always wondered how much of a pun a single family could be. For the love of everything not troublesome, he, his father _and_ his grandfather all had 'deer' in their names!

"Ah, finally here!" Chouji exclaimed with a grin, prompting a small giggle as well as a roll of her eyes from Ino.

A thought struck Shikamaru as they neared the front door and he turned to face is blonde friend with a serious expression, "Ino, do me a favor and don't mention anything about that woman to my mom…" He set his bags down in front of the bag and moved to massage his sore neck, "She's still nagging at me about Temari, and I don't want her to get any weird ideas."

Ino huffed as she knocked on the door, not looking at Shikamaru, "Don't worry, I don't wanna talk about that…_thing_ anyway."

'You seemed fine with talking about her only five minutes ago', Shikamaru thought wryly.

He felt a slight twitching sensation going through his jaw, a clear sign that he was about to yawn again. Naturally, Shikamaru gave into the feeling without a fuss. If he had known what would happen next, he would have firmly kept his mouth closed.

The door opened so quickly that Ino and Chouji actually stumbled back in surprise, leaving Shikamaru standing there in front of a middle-aged woman with his mouth wide open in mid-yawn.

"Shikamaru!" Nara Yoshino said in a loud, scolding voice, staring at her only son in disdain, "Why can't you at least _try_ to look a little more awake? Are social gatherings really that boring to you?"

Shikamaru sighed as soon as he'd closed his mouth, causing his mother to narrow her eyes at him. He winced, resisting the urge to sigh again at the look she gave him. "Troublesome…"

The word left his mouth, barely louder than a whisper but Yoshino still heard it as loud and clear as if it had been uttered through a stereo with the volume on max, "What was that?" Her voice was dangerous, carrying a promise that she was going to show him just how 'troublesome' she could be if his answer was not to her satisfaction.

Eyebrow twitching, Shikamaru felt almost like he was fifteen again as he answered, "Nothing." Chouji smiled sympathetically again behind his friend while Ino struggled to hide a giggle.

His mother suddenly broke out into a wide smile, all animosity hiding behind a mask of happiness, "Good!" She turned to his two friends, holding up a hand in apology, "I'm sorry for asking you to take care of my son, he can be such a lazy boy sometimes."

'Understatement of the year' was the thought that ran through both Ino's and Chouji's heads as they both gave the Nara matriarch wide smiles in return, Ino hurrying to say, "Oh, it's no trouble at all!"

Shikamaru grumbled quietly and gently pushed his way into the house, earning a disapproving glance from his mother as he took off his shoes. Leave it to Ino to sweet-talk his mother, she had always been good at that. Of course, the fact that both their families had not so secretly been conspiring to make the two of them start dating played a big role in Yoshino's affection to Ino. Despite all the hints Shikamaru dropped on the matter that he was in no way romantically interested in the girl, finding their relationship to be strictly platonic, their parents either ignored it or were completely oblivious to it. Their efforts had toned down greatly when Shikamaru had reluctantly brought his last girlfriend, Temari, over for dinner though. She had insisted on meeting his parents while he, on the other hand, would have liked nothing better than to keep their relationship a secret from his overbearing mother a little longer. Say, forever.

Still, Temari's constant urging soon overcame his common sense and he had complied with her wishes.

Even though the look of utter surprise on both of his parents' faces had been a rather priceless one, he still regretted it even to this day. Why? Because after the two had broken up, Shikamaru had been subjected to every single torture a caring mother could provide her son with. Apparently, she had thought him to be heartbroken but instead of letting him heal in peace, she had called him nearly every single day for an entire week, asking him if he was alright, if he needed anything, if he was contemplating suicide and constantly dropping not so subtle hints that he should come home so that they could 'talk' about it. She had even gone back to her old ways, suggesting that he should ask Ino out for dinner and let her 'help' him.

He hadn't had _time_ to be heartbroken what will all the fuss. Not that the break-up had really shaken him that badly. He wasn't as cold as to shrug the whole relationship off as if it had been nothing, but he knew all too well why Temari left him so he just accepted the situation for what it was.

"Yo, Shikamaru." His father, Nara Shikaku greeted him with a lazy grin from his place in a big arm-chair in the living room. Practically everyone was there. Well, everyone as in Ino's as well as Chouji's parents and a few friends to the families. It was the same thing every year; the Nara, Akimichi and Yamanaka families would all gather together and exchange presents, stories and fun. They had always been a close knit group and it wasn't about to change as far as Shikamaru could tell.

"Yo…" He greeted, equally as lazy, sans the grin. He set his bags down by the door and stretched out his back, wincing as he heard and felt a few audible pops of his joints.

"Is your mom giving you a hard time?" Inoichi, Ino's father, asked with a teasing smile, sweat trickling down his face as he was struggling in his attempt to beat Akimichi Chouza in arm wrestling. For as long as Shikamaru had known the man, he had always tried his best to act 'manly', due to the fact that he had a tendency to like cute things. A way to compensate, Shikamaru figured.

"Not nearly as bad as your daughter." Shikamaru answered with a straight face as he removed his jacket and hung it on a nearby chair, prompting fits of laughter from everyone present as well as an indignant 'Hey' from Inoichi.

Chouza was barely breaking a sweat but he still seemed to decide that it was better to settle the contest quickly and so he took advantage of Inoichi's break of concentration, driving the back of his hand down hard on the surface of the table even as he turned to toss a grin at Shikamaru, "Well, I'm pretty sure she'd be a little easier on you if you just got off your ass and treated her to dinner." The large man's statement was followed by several sounds of agreement from the people listening, as well as a pained nod from Inoichi as he nursed his violated hand, his wife coming over to teasingly 'kiss it better'.

Shikamaru rubbed his temples in annoyance, thanking whatever deity that might be watching over him that Ino and his mother were too busy chatting out in the hall to overhear Chouza's words. How hard could it be for people to understand that he saw Ino as more of a sister rather than an object of attraction?

"Well, seeing as everyone's here already," Shikaku started, giving a grin as he opened a bottle of expensive sake, "Let's drink! We might as well add a few toasts for the marriage that's sure to come, sooner or later." He added, giving his son a sly smirk that coaxed cheers and snickers from those present.

Shikamaru in turn, sighed dejectedly. It was going to be a long evening.

* * *

The festivities soon became a little too much for Shikamaru to enjoy peacefully. It didn't take long for his father to engage in a drinking contest against Inoichi who seemed to be determined to regain his honor after his rather meek defeat, literally, at Chouza's hand. As soon as Ino decided to get involved in the contest, Shikamaru fled to the solitude of the backyard. It was rather cold and he hadn't bothered to get his jacket but he could easily manage. Anything to get away from the ruckus inside the house.

Sitting on the wooden, porch-like ledge with the sliding door mere feet behind him, he stared out over the small field behind his family's house where the deer were allowed to roam freely. Well, as freely as the fences would allow them, that is.

Trying to tune out the sounds of the party still going on in the background, he thought about his current situation. To say that it was normal would be a big mistake. He'd never heard of anyone else being pestered by a woman who claimed that she was going to live with them until she got what she wanted. Well, he might have read a manga about a similar situation but that had been a love comedy so it didn't really help him any. Not that it would have been of any help even if the genre was different. There was always a strict line between reality and fiction that Shikamaru tended to avoid crossing.

All he ever wanted was a perfectly normal life. He had already made plans for how his ideal life as an adult would be even before he entered high school. Back then, he had no idea what he wanted to do for a living; anything would do as long as it was enough for him to marry an average woman who would give him a daughter and a son. He would go by his life like any everyday ordinary man until he died of old age, before his wife, of course.

That had pretty much been his dream until a series of unfortunate events led him into his current profession.

Shikamaru gave a sigh that would have reminded people of an already old man if they had been watching. He dug into his pocket and fished out a pack of cigarettes and a worn-looking Zippo. Tracing the engraved symbol that looked so much like a leaf on the side of the lighter, he felt a wave of nostalgia hit him.

He suddenly felt a light weight gently slamming into his back as a pair of tiny arms found their way around his neck. It seemed like he'd been hit by something other than nostalgia. "Uncle Shika!"

Shikamaru couldn't help but give a grin as he recognized the young voice. Looking over his shoulder he confirmed his suspicions that there was a little girl clinging to his back with a cheery smile on her face. The girl didn't look to be any older than four or five years old. Reaching back to ruffle her dark hair, he spoke in a tone that was very different from the usual gruff he normally used, "Hey, kiddo, merry Christmas."

The girl giggled and seemed to be trying to climb up onto his shoulders, prompting a slight laugh from the young man. He hadn't even noticed how the sliding door had opened to give way for the little girl, having been too absorbed in his thoughts. However, the girl was not the only one who had decided to visit him in his solitude, "It's been a while, Shikamaru."

Shikamaru stared up into the crimson eyes of another female he knew well. Her pale face was framed by locks of dark hair that, had it been straighter, would have given her the appearance of a beautiful Japanese doll. He smiled at her, playfully tickling the girl who was currently playing with his ponytail, "Yeah, it's been a while, Kurenai-sensei."

Yuuhi Kurenai gave him a smile in return as she leaned down to get the girl untangled from Shikamaru's hair, "Ayumi-chan, why don't you go back inside and see if you can find some of your presents?"

The little girl named Ayumi immediately lit up like a Christmas tree, excitedly hopping from foot to foot, "Can I?"

Shikamaru chuckled as Kurenai nodded to the girl and he turned to give her a conspiring grin, "There should be a pretty big box in there somewhere with your name on it." His words caused the girl to let out a 'yay' in glee as she gave him a quick hug before she hurried off inside in search of presents.

As Shikamaru turned his gaze back to field in front of him, his hands idly playing with his lighter, Kurenai seemed to take the silence as an invitation to sit down next to him. They sat there for several minutes with the only sound being that coming from the party in the background. It was a comfortable silence, Shikamaru thought, until Kurenai finally spoke up in a quiet voice, "You don't come over as often as you used to."

Shikamaru scratched his head, a nervous habit he had yet to rid himself of, "I've been busy…"

Kurenai glanced at him, her crimson eyes easily distinguishable even in the dim light, "Ayumi misses you, you know." Shikamaru rather liked Kurenai, she was one of the few women that he could manage being around without thinking her bossy or troublesome. Even so, she had a strange air about her and had a tendency to make him nervous when he was around her. Of course, that might just have been because she used to be a high school teacher of his.

Giving a slight sigh, he pulled a cigarette from the crumpled up pack and lit it up, prompting an almost scolding look from Kurenai but she didn't say anything, waiting instead for Shikamaru to answer to her earlier statement, "I'm not really that good with kids…"

Kurenai had expected his response to be something like that and she decided to refrain from pointing out that if he wasn't good with kids then her daughter wouldn't have taken such a liking to him. Instead, she turned her head to gaze out over the field and changed the subject, "Those things are going to get you killed someday."

Shikamaru gave a small smirk, seeing the irony in that statement as he took a quick drag of his cancer stick, "Asuma used to complain on how you always nagged at him about smoking." He turned to give the dark-haired woman a smile, "He didn't seem to mind it though, and he was always grinning when he talked about you. It used to kill my concentration when he went on and on about you while we were playing shougi."

Kurenai gave a somewhat sad smile in return as she glanced at the lighter still in Shikamaru's hand, "How long are you gonna keep holding onto that old thing?"

Shikamaru blinked, looking down at the Zippo. It had several scratches in the metal, the green color that was supposed to fill the leaf symbol had long since faded and there were several black marks on its surface. He clenched his fingers around it before pocketing it once again, "Until I find the bastard who killed your husband." He hadn't meant for his words to be so blunt. Normally he would weigh his words carefully in an effort to avoid misunderstandings and the like but the words just rolled out of his mouth like an automated answer.

Kurenai didn't seem to take any offense to his wording though. In fact, she looked a little exasperated if anything, "It's already been four years, Shikamaru." Her eyes softened considerably as she gave him a sympathetic look that Shikamaru knew all too well. It was the same look nearly everyone around him had given him as soon as the news about his late sensei got out, "Don't you think it's time to move on? I've already left that incident behind, for Ayumi's sake."

Leaning back to rest on his elbows, Shikamaru looked up at the sky, cigarette still placed firmly between his lips, "If you'd really moved on and you're thinking about what's best for Ayumi, you'd have remarried a long time ago. She could use a father figure." His tone was soft and almost casual but his words carried a painful truth. He knew, of course, why Kurenai didn't want to remarry. She didn't want anyone to take Asuma's place as the father of her daughter. Ayumi barely remembered Asuma but Kurenai still didn't want her to start thinking of someone else as her father.

Instead of berating the young man for his words however, Kurenai merely gave him a sly, teasing smirk, "Oh, but you've already claimed the role of the father figure pretty nicely, Shikamaru-kun."

Shikamaru coughed up a small cloud of smoke, Kurenai's words having struck him just as he was taking another drag of his cigarette and prompting him to sit up straight. "You-!" He gave another loud cough, clutching his throat with one hand as Kurenai, chuckling in satisfaction, thumped him on his back. He was starting to reconsider his opinion regarding Kurenai, currently finding her just a little troublesome.

Suddenly, the sliding door behind them was pushed open violently, "Shikamaru!" Said the aggravated and slightly slurred voice that could only belong to Ino. Before he knew it, Shikamaru found himself in an embrace so tight he found it hard to breathe. Ino had assaulted him from behind and was currently squeezing the living daylights out of him, her cheeks reddened by her drunken stupor. The fact that this was the third time an individual of the female species had jumped his back in the span of twenty four hours left him a little irritated, "What're you doin' out 'ere, huh?"

Shikamaru grimaced as he saw Kurenai's amused smile out of the corner of his eye and could easily guess that the people inside the house behind him were watching them with equally as annoying expressions. "Ino, get-"

For some reason, drunken girls seemed to have a knack for interrupting him in the middle of a sentence, "Ah! Are ya smokin' again?" The girl slurred, resting her chin on his shoulder to give him a disappointed pout, plucking his cigarette right out of his mouth and chucking it away in distaste, making the grumpy young man sigh in exasperation, "Ah!" The blonde suddenly seemed to take notice of Kurenai, having somehow missed her when she first came stumbling out of the door. She pulled Shikamaru a little closer to her as she glared at the woman through half-lidded eyes, "Don't tell me you're hitting on Kurenai-sensei now?" Her question caused Kurenai to burst into giggles and Shikamaru could clearly hear the people behind him struggling to contain their laughter. Before he could even deny Ino's question with a simple 'no', she continued loudly, "What's with you nowadays, ehhh?" She started swaying from side to side, pulling Shikamaru along with her. He made a mental note to never let Ino drink in his presence again.

"First ya get dumped by Temari…" Ino continued to grumble loudly, now absently pulling at his ponytail, "And then you bring home some unknown girl who doesn't seem to know any other words than cusswords…" Shikamaru twitched, feeling the hairs on his neck stand on end. If the look of surprise on Kurenai's face was any indication, then everyone else who was listening to Ino's ramblings probably had a look of shock on their faces. He grimaced as he heard something break. Somebody must have dropped their drink in surprise.

Ino started to shake him back and forth like a rag doll, looking far from happy with her friend's apparent playboy nature, "And now you're trying to come onto Kurenai-sensei? Shameful!" She let out a long breath and Shikamaru had another strange sense of déjà vu, "I mean, at least get rid of that annoying redhead fiiirrrssst…" Her words trailed off and soon enough, Shikamaru heard the tell-tale snoring indicating that Ino had fallen asleep against his back. He chanced a thought and wondered just why the hell drunken people seemed to enjoy falling asleep on him.

"What's this I hear about a 'strange girl'?" Shikamaru's back went rigid as he heard the sinister voice of his mother and as he slowly, jerkily, turned his head to find her standing just behind him he could see that dangerous grin that was playing on her lips as well as the angry vein that was throbbing on her forehead, "Eh? Shikamaru?"

The young man opened and closed his mouth several times, for once being at a loss for words. He could faintly make out Chouji standing somewhere behind his mother, giving him a look of sympathy one would give a man facing the gallows. With a tired sigh, he hung his head and said the only thing that came to mind, "I've got issues."

* * *

**(A/N)** Reviews are an authors treasure. Give. 


	3. Chapter 3: Taming the Beast

Disclaimer: Kishimoto is my God, Shikamaru my Messiah, Tayuya my Angel and my inspiration theirs. (Translation: I own nothing)

* * *

** Taming the beast**

Shikamaru awoke with a start when the car suddenly slowed to a stop. He looked around wildly, eyes wide as he wondered where the hell he was. It took him a few seconds before he recognized the familiar neighborhood. Feeling more relaxed, he gave a yawn that quickly turned into a cough when the cab driver announced the cost of the trip. Well, considering the distance between his apartment and his parents' house, he should have been prepared to pay a more than healthy sum of money but it still cut through his heart. Muttering mostly to himself that he spent less money on food for two whole months, he dug through his wallet and handed over the requested money to the grinning driver.

Normally, he avoided taxi-rides due to the expensiveness but tonight he'd had little choice. He had been asked, or ordered, to escort a drunken Ino home. Shikamaru had tried protesting, saying that it would be easier for Inoichi to drive her home seeing as he had a car while Shikamaru hadn't even bothered getting a driver's license. That idea had immediately been shot down when Inoichi announced his own inebriated state of mind. Ino's mother didn't have a driver's license of her own so her driving would definitely not do and thus, it fell on Shikamaru to take the 'damsel', as his mother had referred to her, home. Suffice to say, he had then been forced to endure an almost two hour-long ride with Ino clinging to him, murmuring incoherent nothings to him that he was pretty sure he wouldn't want to hear properly. He had almost felt like thanking some kind of God when they had finally arrived at his friend's apartment, leaving only him for another hour's ride to his own home. All the while, the driver had been talking about his family in an overly enthusiastic manner. Shikamaru suspected that the man had, like most people, misunderstood his relationship to the blonde girl. Why people seemed to refuse to accept the fact that Shikamaru merely saw Ino as a sister of sorts and not an object of attraction, he would never understand. What disturbed him the most was the fact that Ino didn't really seem to dislike the attention it brought her.

Shikamaru stretched as he got out of the cab, raising his arms high above his head as he gave a tired groan. He winced as he felt a few pops in his joints. Sleeping in cars was never a good idea in his opinion but he had long since learned that trying to fight his body's urges regarding rest was utterly futile. Yawning, he started climbing the stairs up to the second floor were his home awaited him; home sweet home. It was a strange thought, really. Returning home from a visit home. His mother liked to call his apartment his 'home away from home', claiming that his parents' house would always be his home. Shikamaru didn't exactly share this opinion. He viewed himself as an independent adult with his own home. Of course, he'd never tell his mother that he thought like that, he liked his hearing the way it was.

Groaning, the tired young man held on to the railing when he reached the second landing. 'Almost there', he thought. He was so sleepy that, were it not so uncomfortable, he would have easily fallen asleep on the stairs. Telling himself that his bed was too close to give up on was the only thing that managed to keep him going. He didn't even have the mental energy to calculate how long he had been awake but he vaguely guessed it too be a very long time.

When Shikamaru finally reached the door, it was with a great sigh of relief that he dug through his pocket for his keys, and it was with a sinking feeling in his stomach that he realized they weren't there. Feeling a little frantic, he checked his jacket's other pocket, then the pockets of his pants. Nothing. For the second time in just as many days, Nara Shikamaru almost felt like crying. He might have forgotten them at his parents' house but that was unlikely for two reasons; he didn't remember taking them out and his keys never left his pocket unless he was going to use them, after which they always returned to the confines of his pocket. His only conclusion was that he had dropped them somewhere, perhaps in the taxi.

Groaning, he closed his eyes and leaned forward to rest his forehead against the door leading to the safe confines of his oh so comfortable apartment. He couldn't help but let his mind linger on the rather cliché line of "So close yet so far away". Opening his eyes, he looked down at the handle which would normally allow him entrance to his home, only that now it was locked and he had no way of unlocking it.

He blinked, realizing that that might not be true after all. He made a habit of always locking his door no matter how much of a hassle it might be but he had no memory of doing so when his two friends had close to abducted him earlier that day. Considering how much of a rush they were in, he doubted that Ino had bothered to go through the trouble of locking the door, especially considering the fact that someone was still there and-…

Shikamaru's heart made a summersault as it hit him and with a sigh he put his hand on the handle and held it there for a few seconds, praying that what he had just remembered had only been a part of a terrible nightmare. Slowly, he pulled down and with a satisfied "click" the door swung open, letting out light and sounds most likely coming from the TV. Rubbing his tired eyes in resignation, Shikamaru stepped into what was once his haven of peace and solitude.

"You're late, asshole." Came a now familiar voice from the direction of the couch. Shikamaru kept his eyes on the floor as he removed his shoes, hoping in vain that if he didn't see the demon then she wouldn't be there. "Hey, at least answer when someone talks you, you fucktard." No such luck.

As he removed his jacket, Shikamaru finally picked his eyes up from the floor to look at the redhead where she was lounging on the couch. _His _couch. What he saw promptly made him raise his eyebrows. Tayuya looked a little different…no, a _lot _different from the last time he saw her which was only this afternoon. Apparently, she had taken a shower. That was the only conclusion Shikamaru could draw from the fact that her hair looked a lot less greasy now. It looked far from lustrous and well taken care of but at least it looked clean. What caught Shikamaru's attention other than the hair though, was the fact that she was wearing new clothes. Upon closer inspection, Shikamaru immediately recognized the black top and the wash-torn gray jeans.

Tayuya smirked when she noticed him staring at her and immediately guessed his thoughts, "I found them in that big-ass wardrobe of yours." She pulled a little at the top, clearly designed for females, showing off the logo that quite boldly read the kanji for 'Wicked'. The clothes seemed to be a little too big for her but she didn't seem to mind in the least. Considering the rags she had been wearing when she first decided to impose on Shikamaru's nonexistent hospitality, the new attire must have seemed like garbs fit for a princess, "I knew you were a perv but I didn't think you were so mentally fucked that you'd go cross dressing."

Shikamaru rubbed the bridge of his nose and sighed, "Those aren't mine." Well, obviously. Even if he did have that kind of fetish, which he didn't, those clothes were several sizes too small for him. Not that he had ever checked their actual sizes or anything. Besides, cross dressers wore far more feminine stuff that the clothes Tayuya now wore, like skirts.

"I found a kennel in there too, you got a cat or something? I didn't see one though…" Tayuya continued as if she hadn't heard him, throwing an empty pack of pocky on the coffee table…into a pile of trash that seemed to have formed since Shikamaru left. Chips, noodles, soda bottles and even the extremely rare Ramen brand from Okinawa that an acquaintance had given him as a gift. He had planned on saving that for a special occasion, yet here this frustrating woman was, eating him out of the house. She must have lived on the streets for quite some time if she had developed an appetite like that, she could almost give Chouji a run for his money.

Shikamaru wasn't one to give others sympathy though, especially not when they were being so troublesome, "The kennel's not mine either. It's my ex-girlfriend's…and so are those clothes." He jerked his head towards Tayuya, indicating to the clothes she was currently wearing.

Tayuya looked down at the clothes she wore before giving a nonchalant shrug, "Heh, not like she's gonna miss 'em." Shikamaru couldn't argue with that. Temari had made no mention of wanting to come pick her stuff up.

He winced when he suddenly heard a chorus of "Yatta, yatta" coming from the TV. He didn't have to turn his head and look at the screen to realize what Tayuya was watching and frankly, he had the feeling that he'd be tempted to gouge his eyes out should he even dare look at the performance. It was a rather popular song for some reason, mostly to middle-aged women. Shikamaru had no idea what women felt was so alluring about a bunch of half-naked men doing a silly dance on stage while singing a song about how great their lives has become thanks to their "Green leaves" but apparently it was enough to even catch his mother's interest. He remembered one time when he had walked in on his parents on their alone-time; his mother had forced his father into trying to copy the dance for her, complete with white briefs and a big green leaf covering his crotch. Shikamaru never looked at his dad with respect again after that, "Could you change the channel, please?"

Tayuya quirked a brow, probably having not expected him to use such a polite word as 'please' but that didn't stop her from smirking slightly as she picked up the remote and turned the TV off, "Yeah, we've got some shit to discuss, wouldn't want you to get _distracted_." Her smirk grew wider and Shikamaru felt inclined to roll his eyes, "Now, about the details of the job-"

"I'm not doing it." Shikamaru said immediately, heading into the kitchen without a second glance at the redhead, leaving her on his couch to blink rapidly at him. He had had enough of this already.

"H-Hey! What the fuck's with you, huh?" She called angrily, quickly getting up to stalk after him into the kitchen, "Didn't I tell you that you won't fucking get rid of me until you finish this job for me?"

Shikamaru gave a tired nod as he picked up his phone, knowing just who to call, "You did, but I don't work for free." He started dialing the number, intending full well to get a patrol car over her to take care of this irritating creature for him.

Tayuya must have guessed his intentions for she immediately grabbed a hold of the phone and slammed it down on the counter, glaring fiercely at him, "You're not getting rid of me that easily, asshole." She poked him in the chest, hard, as if intending to stab him with her finger, "You're not getting rid of me until you're finished with my fucking request!"

Shikamaru was unperturbed by her glare. Compared to his mother, Tayuya was just about as scary as a spoiled kid. Pushing the woman's sharp finger away from his chest, he sighed, "One way or another, I'm gonna drive you out of this apartment, whether I'll have to keep trying to call the police or if I'll just have to use force to get you out." Truthfully, the former option was preferable. If Tayuya continued to block his usage of his own phone then he could just as well leave, call the cops from his cell phone and then wait for them to arrive and remove the woman from his home, leaving him in peace for a short while until they call him back again to ask questions. He didn't like being rough with women, no matter how annoying they were and so he preferred calling the cops to throwing her out himself.

Tayuya seemed to take the threat of him throwing her out seriously though…somewhat. Giving a snort, she crossed her arms and glared at him, "So what're you gonna do, huh? Pick me up and just throw me out the door? Fuck, if I'd been worried about _you _being able to do something like that, I'd have taking measures against it long ago."

Shikamaru felt a little insulted at how she said that last sentence as if it was obvious how physically inept he was. What piqued his interest though, was a single words accompanying that sentence, "Measures?"

With another smirk, Tayuya moved back to lean against the table in front of him, "You didn't seriously fucking think I'd do all this without a plan, did you?" Uncrossing her arms, she pulled something out of her pocket; his keys. A sense of dread filled Shikamaru as she held them up and waved them around in front of him and it only got worse when her next words left her mouth, "I did some copies of your house key and hid them here and there around the block. Even if you throw me out and lock the door, I'll come back. If you call the cops, I'll run away and then come back and kick your nuts in."

Shikamaru frowned unhappily. Her plan was crude but the redhead obviously had a good head on her shoulders. He thought it unlikely that a homeless person would have to money to make several copies of his house key, even though it was rather cheap to do so. Still, she might have been saving up money earned from playing her flute every day. She might even have stolen some of his money for all he knew. He always kept some money at home for emergencies.

He could change his lock, it would be worth the trouble if it meant getting rid of her. He had an inkling feeling that something like that wouldn't stop her though. Even if he called the cops and asked for protection he doubted he'd be taken seriously, seeing as Tayuya hadn't done anything outright dangerous…yet.

Shikamaru rubbed his forehead with an exaggerated sigh, looking at the redhead warily, "So, in other words, you plan to stay here until I finish whatever job it is you want done?" Tayuya in turn nodded, the smirk on her lips gaining a rather cheeky quality, "And even if I keep refusing you and try to force you out, you'll just come back again and again until I agree to your terms?"

Tayuya gave another nod, now grinning ever so slightly in a manner that she most likely considered teasing. Shikamaru, on the other hand, could only see it as outright cruel. Tossing the keys to their owner, she crossed her arms again, "I'm glad you finally fucking understand."

Catching his keys, Shikamaru immediately put them in his pocket, intending to chain them to his jacket the next chance he got, "Alright," His tone bore every sign of resignation one would normally expect to hear in the voice of someone giving up. Moving over to the table, he sat down and leaned his elbow against its surface, resting his cheek against his knuckles, "I'll do it."

Tayuya's grin was now shining with triumph, one might think that she had just won the Nobel price or something of the like, "About damn time."

Shikamaru gave a sigh of annoyance, glancing at her, "And? What do you want me to do?" The sooner he got the details, the sooner he could go to sleep.

Tayuya's grin suddenly fell and her face took on an expression of stern determination that Shikamaru had seen several times on people who meant business. Those people made it a point to at least act a little polite though. Sitting down across from him, she pulled something from her pocket; a photograph, a rather worn-looking one. One glance at it told Shikamaru that it was fairly old but that wasn't enough for it to get so tattered. She must have pulled it out of her pocket to look at it on countless occasions. Coupled with all the times she must have returned it to her pocket it was more surprising how it managed to stay in one piece. Shikamaru had expected it to be of a person, a lost relative maybe, but when she placed it down in front of him he had to raise his eyebrows at what he saw; a house, fairly modest yet big enough to host a medium-sized family and still have a guest room available, "I want this house."

To say that Shikamaru was taken aback would be a mild understatement. Of course, he could understand that a homeless like Tayuya would like some roof over her head but a _house_? Pulling himself together, he cleared his throat, "I'm not a broker, if you've got the money and you wanna buy a house then you should call someone who-"

She growled in annoyance, slamming a fist down against the table, "That's not it!"

Before she could say anything else, Shikamaru rolled his eyes and feigned slight exasperation, "If you want me to buy you a house then forget it." He tried his best to hide his smirk at the sounds of irritation emitting from the redhead. He was no idiot; he knew that it wasn't something as simple as buying a house but she had caused him so much mental stress in the span of less than a day that he couldn't help but aggravate her.

And judging by her clenched fists and her gritted teeth, he was doing a good job at it. Pointing to the picture, she spoke acidly, "This is _my _house." as if those few words would be enough to explain the entire situation.

Sighing, Shikamaru picked up the picture and inspected it with apparent disinterest. It was a pretty neat-looking house, traditional and complete with a small fish-pond. He wouldn't be surprised if the premises were surrounded by a wall of stone to shield from outsiders. One question remained though, "If you have a house, then why are you living on the streets?" He frowned, suddenly realizing that Tayuya had never directly told him that she was homeless.

She answered him in a way that told him he had been right in his assumptions though, "The deed's gone." She leaned back in her chair, staring off to the side, "I lost it before I could even move in." When her gaze returned to him, her eyes were filled with fiery determination, "I want you to help me prove that this house is mine by right."

Shikamaru quirked a brow. If She had really just lost the deed then it wouldn't have been too much of a problem for her to move in anyway, seeing as the government kept an archive with copies of all documents involving ownerships of buildings and empty lots. All she would have been forced to do was ask for a copy of the deed, provided she could prove it was in her name, of course.

Somehow, Shikamaru had a feeling it wasn't as simple as he imagined it. "Alright," He leaned back in his chair, deciding he should get as much information as he could before he passed out of fatigue, "What's the address to this house?"

Tayuya gave a slight shrug, "Dunno."

Shikamaru blinked. Well, that was an answer he hadn't been expecting. Leaning forward again to give her a slight look of doubt, "You don't know the address to a house that you claim as being yours?"

Tayuya blushed and glared fiercely at him, "Sh-Shut up! I just can't fucking remember it, alright!? It's been a long time…" Her voice died down and she looked away with a childish pout that Shikamaru might have found cute. Except he didn't.

Rubbing his eyes tiredly, he sighed for what felt like the thousandth time that day, "Well, in that case, could you tell me approximately where it is?" He really hoped it wasn't located in another city, that would make it hard for him to locate it.

Tayuya gave another noncommittal shrug, "All I know is that it's somewhere here in Tokyo."

Left eyebrow twitching in annoyance, Shikamaru stared at the woman in front of him, "You're telling me…that you have no idea whatsoever where this house is?" And she was supposed to be the owner! How could she not even know the location of her own house? Granted, she said she never got the chance to move in but she should have at least had been there. What kind of person bought a house without even visiting it?

Tayuya's temper flared up and she glared venomously at him, "Hey! I fucking told you; it's in Tokyo!"

Hiding his face in his hands with a tired sigh, Shikamaru went on, "Have you ever even _seen _this house? Not on a picture, but with your own eyes." When he received nothing but a stubborn silence in return, he looked up at her again and moved on to plan B, "Alright, what's your full name?"

"Tayuya." she barked at him angrily as if insulted by the thought that he might have forgotten it.

Rolling his eyes, Shikamaru exasperatedly stated, "I know your first name, I meant your _full _name, that means both given name and family name."

Tayuya answered with the bluntness of a badly sharpened axe, "I don't have one."

Those words caused Shikamaru to blink in confusion before dryly asking, "What are you? A farmer's daughter of the feudal era?"

She growled in return, glaring at him defiantly with her arms crossed still, "I just don't have one, alright!?" She looked away from him stubbornly, the rest of her words coming out in a rather forced manner, as if she didn't want to share too much information about herself, "I grew up with a bunch of different foster parents. Even if I did get registered as a citizen in any of their names, I never stayed long enough in one place to remember them."

Shikamaru felt a small pang of sympathy for the girl. A very small one. From what little he knew about her, he could guess that she'd had a troubled childhood. For her to not even have a surname would spell more than a little more trouble for her in the future. If you didn't have a full name it meant that you practically didn't have an identity in the eyes of society.

Chasing away what little compassion he had started to feel for Tayuya, he rested his forehead against his knuckles and said, "Then I guess you don't have a seal either, huh?" He took the vague shrug he received as a no. With another practically tortured sigh, he looked up at her again, "Look, if you don't have either a real name or a seal as proof of who you are then it's pretty much impossible to prove that this house," He gestured towards the picture on the table, "is yours." He could easily conclude that the deed didn't have her listed as the owner either, which would complicate the matter further. Chancing a guess, he could assume that she had never even seen the deed and had thus been tricked. He decided to spare her feelings and keep that guess to himself.

Pushing the photo back towards her, he continued, "If it's simply just a matter of having a place to live, you're better off trying to find a simple job and save up enough for a cheap apartment or something." No doubt she was used to living on the streets, she could probably hold on long enough until she managed to save up money for a real place to live, "So-"

"Don't fuck with me!" She startled him when she suddenly slammed her hands down onto the table with such force that it rattled violently, leaving Shikamaru staring wide-eyed at her, "If I wanted to live in some shitty apartment then I would've done so long ago!" She had even gotten to her feet as she yelled at him, her fiery red hair giving her the image of a scorned goddess. She jabbed her finger at the photo in a quick put surprisingly gentle manner, as if afraid that she'd tear it if she was too violent, "This is _my _fucking house! Mine and no one else's! I'm not gonna fucking live in some run down apartment building, I'm gonna live in _my _house!"

Shikamaru simply stared at her, eyebrows raised in surprise at her outburst, "Why?" He asked suddenly after a few moments of silence, causing the girl in front of him to blink, "Why does it have to be _this _house?" He clarified, pointing to the picture.

Tayuya glared at him as she sat down again, once more crossing her arms to show defiance, "None of your damn business."

True, it was certainly none of Shikamaru's business, and he usually made it a point not to meddle in other people's affairs, mainly because he knew how annoying it was. Still, he felt something about this particular matter that he didn't feel very often; curiosity. Not the normal curiosity he tended to feel whenever he was inclined to, or he needed to, ask a question, but genuine curiosity about someone else's personal life, something he usually tried his outmost to avoid.

It took him less than a second to remind himself of just why he tented to stay away from other people's personal lives and so he decided to focus on what he needed to do to get the matter at hand dealt with, "Look, I get it; you don't trust me." He leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms, "And I sure as hell don't trust you. Who in their right mind would trust a maniac who persists on invading someone's privacy to the point of demanding to live with them?" Ignoring Tayuya rolling her eyes, he continued, "The thing is, my job is pretty much built on one thing," He paused just long enough for him to lean forward in his seat after which he stated slowly, as if speaking with a child, "Trust…between…the client…and…myself."

Tayuya glared at him, clearly getting more annoyed by the second as he leaned back in his chair again, shrugging nonchalantly, "Too bad that doesn't seem to work here, which means that you won't get your house," He nodded towards the picture still on the table, "and I won't be left alone…unless of course you withdraw your crazy offer, that way at least one of us gets what he wants."

Tayuya remained silent for nearly a minute, glaring at him still through her blood red bangs. For that almost-minute, Shikamaru thought that he might, against all odds, have managed to change her mind about everything. He was almost convinced that she would just quietly take her picture, shove it into the pocket of the pants she had 'borrowed', and then leave with a whole lot of quietly muttered curses.

Unfortunately for Shikamaru, another scenario played out; "It's a house, a real house." Tayuya said quietly, almost softly but there was still a whole lot of grumpiness lingering, "A real _home_." She narrowed her eyes slightly at him, "I don't wanna live in some run-down apartment building, I wanna live in a place that I could proudly call my home."

Shikamaru felt all his hope sinking down and settling somewhere near his toe nails. The woman in front of him was doing what he had been expecting her to _not _do; she was opening up to him, "You've had pretty much all the good shit I never had; a home and, judging by all the crappy presents you brought along with the bitch and the fatass I'd pick a wild guess that you've got your share of family and friends." She gave a snort, looking away from him for a second, "I wouldn't expect a spoiled shit like you to understand."

Shikamaru didn't speak. What would he say? Sorry? What had he done that he needed to apologize for? Just because he was lucky to be born into a fairly normal family, he should feel guilty because of the hard times this practical stranger had gone through? "I don't need any of that family and friends crap," Tayuya continued, gently placing her hand on the photograph before looking up at him, eyes practically burning with determination, "I just want a home of my own, and I want it to be _this _house."

Shikamaru saw no easy way out of this. It was either do or do not. The former would be a real hassle but it would inevitably end with Tayuya leaving him in peace. The latter was equally as troublesome but he knew by now that this woman wasn't the kind of person to give up. She'd nag and nag and nag some more until she got what she wanted.

Shikamaru felt something tug at his conscience. Was it compassion? Compassion for this homeless girl who had nothing but a few rags to call clothes and a flute worn by who knows how many years? He desperately pushed the feeling to the back of his mind, deeming it a result of his fatigue, telling it to stay there and be quiet.

"Alright," He sighed tiredly, leaning forward, "I'll do it." He felt like he was resigning himself to a fate of utter despair but at least it wouldn't last an eternity…hopefully.

Tayuya's grin could have outshone the very Christmas tree his parents had set up for the party, "Good!" Then she pulled something out of her back pocket. Another photo? No, it was a slip of paper and as she unfolded it and placed it in front of him, he recognized it as a contract with terms and conditions and other details regarding his task at hand. He raised his eyebrows in slight surprise, figuring that the redhead had borrowed his computer to set it up. He added a mental note to set up a password for his computer later. It wasn't the fact that she had managed to put together a contract that surprised him, it was the fact that, when he read through it, it was very detailed and organized, written in such a sophisticated manner that a normal person would likely have a hard time understanding it.

Shikamaru skimmed through it briefly, taking in the main points such as the fact that he was bound by the contract to keep her fed, clothed and updated regarding the process of him getting her house back. Sighing, he got up and went to fetch his seal. He could read through all the details later. As soon as he had put the stamp on the area it was needed, Tayuya snatched up the paper with a triumphant smirk, "There, now you're my bitch." She snickered, making Shikamaru roll his eyes.

"Whatever, I'm going to sleep." He grumbled, getting up drowsily. He would not stay awake and in the presence of this spawn of a demon a minute longer.

She blinked in return, turning to watch him as he went past her and out of the kitchen, "Hey, where do I sleep?" She asked.

Shikamaru's head throbbed, and he waved his hand absently as he answered, "There's a futon in the closet out in the hall. Either use that or sleep on the couch, troublesome woman."

Tayuya growled in return, "My name's Tayuya!" She repeated for the umpteenth time that evening, "And what? Are you gonna force a poor girl like me to sleep on a fucking _futon? _You dickhead!" She asked incredulously.

He looked over his shoulder at him as she joined him in the living room, lazily sighing, "And my name's Shikamaru. Until you stop calling me dickhead or whatnot and start addressing me properly, I won't even utter your name." He turned back around with a yawn, heading into his bedroom, "And I said you could have the couch too. That's all there is."

She was about to say something else but before she could, he slid the door shut, prompting her to huff indignantly.

He collapsed on his bed, too tired to even take his clothes off, and the covers felt as if they were a gift from the heavens. He buried his head in the pillow as his tired head swam with thoughts. What was he going to do about this situation? Obviously, he would have to treat it like any other case. However, he found it difficult to view it as such. How many private investigators were forced to live with their clients? How many private investigators had to be wary of having their throat ripped out by an angry, red beast?

As he drifted closer and closer to sleep, Shikamaru idly pondered on the best course of action to tame that beast.

* * *

**(A/N) **I do apologize fo the late update but I've been rather busy with other things. Do you perhaps want the next chapter to come quicker? Please, if such is the case, leave me a nice, long review with your thoughts, those kinds of things give me inspiration and motivation.

**NOTE**. Shikamaru used a seal to sign the contract. Some of you might not be familiar with this but in Japan, it's common to use a sort of stamp to sign forms and the like, rather than simply scribbling down a signature.

* * *


End file.
