Hunger Games 1. Fade out

**AN: Hi! I am looking for a beta for this story because English is not my first language.  
If you would like to help a bro out (and get some behind the scenes secrets!) feel free to PM me and I will love you forever.  
****Lots of love / Jess**

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''My advisors were concerned you would be…_ difficult_, but you're not planning on causing any problems, are you Miss Everdeen?''

''No,'' she answered him, surprised to hear her own words in a steady voice.

Katniss couldn't find herself understand how she ended up in a situation like this. She won the games – she watched her district partner die at the bloodbath and Rue fall down to her knees, covered in blood leaking down her torso so gruesome, causing the tiny girl to shiver while letting her eyes close shut.

She thought the games were over, but she was wrong.

The President smiles and she notice his lips for the first time in this blurry meeting. Her head was already spinning from the scent haunting the room, but as she found enough energy to focus her grey eyes on the man in front of her, she couldn't help but to let her lips part. She had been expecting snake lips, which is to say none. Instead, his lips were overly full, the skin stretched too tight. She couldn't help but to crouch her shoulders slightly, suddenly feeling out of place in her own home.

But then again, this wasn't really her home. It didn't feel like it. The victory village would never feel like something she deserved. But she stayed. It was the best environment for Prim.

''That's what I told them. I said any girl who goes to such lengths to preserve her life is not going to be interested in throwing it away with both hands, correct?'' When the girl didn't answer, Coriolanus Snow continued with an evil smirk hiding on his lips. ''And then there's her family to think of. Her mother, her sister, and that Mellark family you're so close to.''

Katniss Everdeen froze.

''I want us to be friends, Miss Everdeen.''

By the way the man in front of her lingered on the word ''Mellark'', the girl with the long brown hair tied up in a fishtail braid and the grey seam eyes found herself clenching her fists, a small motion that couldn't be very easily ignored. He almost found it enthralling and exciting on how he was waking up the dragon, and he knew he was going to win over the fire breathing beast. He owned her now, and she couldn't do anything about it. Watching her closely, there were minor scrapes and cuts on her left side, due to the explosion she caused in her games. The details slightly bothered the old man, taking it what he had planned for her – but it wasn't anything the Capitol wouldn't fix.

''Let's sit,'' he speaks, taking a seat at the large desk of polished wood where Prim had just done her homework earlier that day. At first Katniss couldn't find herself move, but by the glare the man was giving her, she stiffly placed herself in the chair in front of him which was slightly carved, making him even more taller than her.

''I don't want you causing problems,'' he started, placing his hands on the table between them. ''It would be a shame if you followed Mason's footsteps, let alone Abernathy's choices. I would like to inform you that you were close for falling over that ledge, girl on fire.''

The smell of roses and blood has grown stronger now that only a desk separated them, causing the girl to tense her muscles, forcing herself to keep her eyes open. There was a rose in President Snow's lapel, suggesting the source of the flower perfume. It was clear it was artificial – for no rose does ever smell that strong. As for the blood, Katniss asked herself if her mind was only playing tricks on her.

''I want to make myself perfectly clear, presuming you will be following orders,'' he started again, smiling at something as if just hearing a joke.

''Let's talk business.''

* * *

She tried hiding herself from everyone. She went down below under the cold surface of the water surrounding her, hoping it could force all thoughts out of her head. That she could escape reality for just a few minutes in her life that had now turned out to be a legit nightmare.

She didn't get very much peace – for her heart wouldn't stop beating like a drum into her ears and her lack of oxygen only made her fall back into some kind of dream state back in the arena again. The boy from District 1 was right in front of her again, adjusting his grip around his sword just about to—

It stopped.

Even underwater she could hear the sounds of commotion. Honking car horns, shouts of greeting, doors banging shut. It could only mean that her entourage had arrived. Katniss had just caught it in enough time to grab a towel and wrap it around her before her prep team bursted into the room, breaking the question of privacy.

''Oh no. _Katniss_, your eyebrows!'' Venia shrieks, using the girls name in a cry of pity. Even with the black cloud hanging over the girl, the girl in question let out a small laugh, kissing the stylists with the aqua spiked hair and the gold ink above her eyes.

Octavia approached the two of them, patting her co-worker on the back before offering a smile to the victor in the room. ''There, there. We can fix those in no time, don't you worry, Katniss.''

It was not like Katniss really cared about her eyebrows, but apparently the people in capitol did. Hearing a gasp, Katniss snaps her focus back to the stylists in front of her, confused about what was going on.

''But what am I going to do with your nails?!''

Hands grabbed her own and pinned it flat for further investigation. After seeing the horrible shape of the victors fingers the stylists joins Venia's mourning, muttering out words like ''Scandalous!'' and ''I have _never!_'' in a thick Capitol accent.

Katniss couldn't figure out what was so wrong with her fingernails – that was all until she observed them herself. ''Sorry,'' she muttered. She hadn't exactly been spending much time worrying about how her post dramatic stress from the games would affect her prep team.

And so it goes on; Flavius complaining about her hair, Octavia bragging about Cinna's success and how everyone was wearing him and now and then Venia expressed her joy for Katniss victory, telling everyone how excited she was for the tour and getting to meet Katniss every year for the mentoring.

The thought of mentoring children into the games made Katniss feel sick, but she forced herself to shut her thoughts out by squeezing her eyes, thinking of a meadow and hunting in the woods alone. Would it be anyone of Prim's classmates? Would it be someone she knew? That she would fail to bring back home? That she would miss? Seeing the desperation in the people's eyes when making her way through 12, Katniss could only remind herself that she was just like them just another months ago. She was oblivious to this pain and guilt she was now wearing, but she was for once like them. Letting the thoughts wander, the girl on fire couldn't figure out what was for the better. Starvation and desperation or this feeling of agony, trapped by the Capitol?

In the end, Katniss couldn't decide.

All of a sudden, Katniss' mother knocks on the door, shyly walking in as the prep team ask her to instruct them on how she did her hair that day of the reaping. They all clapped their hands as they watch, extremely engrossed as she broke down the process of the elaborate braided hairdo. They follow her every move, trying to memorize the way her fingers worked their way through the brown hair. When the hair was finally done, Cinna walked into the room, offering a hug to his friend as he watched her surrounded by her prep team.

They had been speaking a lot recently. It started when he called her to ask her if she'd decided on a talent yet. The answer was of course no. Truth be told, Katniss didn't have time for a talent. Sure, she was good with the bow, but doing something illegal like crossing the fence of the district wouldn't exactly be appreciated to be sent live through out the whole nation.

''Attention, everyone! We're about to do the first outdoor shoot, where the victor is first presented in the show for the beginning of an absolutely _marvellous_ trip!'' Effie's voice tuned into the room, clapping her hands as the prep team joined in to cheer. ''Now, Katniss, big smile, you're very happy, yes?''

Sucking in a deep breath, Katniss nodded her head, smiling as she took a step out in the cold winter snow, facing a camera the first thing she got outside. The smile felt heavy as she tried to keep it up, hearing Caesar Flickerman's voice speak through stereos located somewhere out of sight. Something inside of her dropped as she heard him congratulate her – in which she answered what an honour it was to be the the first female victor of District 12.

She realized this was now her life. She realized this was her reality – and it wasn't very much diversity from her nightmares she was trapped in every night. She was still a puppet of the Capitol and President Snow, and she was never going to break free and fly. Even though fury was swelling through her veins, Katniss knew she couldn't show any kind of resistance.

_Prim._ She had to save Prim.

And to do so, Katniss was stuck in this world. Trapped.

And as the world came crashing down on her, hearing herself laugh at some joke Caesar just made about her kill on the boy from District 4, she realized how caged she actually was. That she was laughing at killing someone who was just as forced to be a part of the games as Katniss herself. She wanted to scream on top of her lungs that she didn't deserve this, that she didn't want this, that it wasn't an honour to live like this – but she couldn't.

Instead, President Snow's husky voice was stuck on repeat as Katniss kept the act up for the cameras, laughing and smiling as she waved and blew kisses to the camera.

_Your first appointment is scheduled the first night you come to the Capitol –  
__and trust me Miss Everdeen, you don't want to disappoint this client, speaking of how much money he bid on you._

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Feel free to PM about beta reading :) **


	2. Fade in

**AN: Good day! I just want to say thanks for all of you who decided to follow the story after just one chapter. You're all going for the yolo lifestyle, hmm? Anyway, I've finished chapter 3 ( GALE IS IN IT HALLELUJAH ) and I'll be posting it in a week, but after that I'm not so sure. It will depend on the reaction and response I get on the first three chapters. I do enjoy writing this though so I bet you won't see the last of me anytime soon :) Love, your friend / Jess**

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_Blood._

The pool is crystal clear, blue water was being transformed into a pink-ish tone.

_Blood._

Someone in the distance is yelling something but Katniss is too focused on getting out of the water, her arms sluggishly hitting the water as she tried so desperately to reach land. Trying so desperately to not breathe in or swallow any of the tangy, metallic taste of blood mixed with chlorine

Blood.

A wall of trees surrounded the lake she was trapped in. She was in the woods, and for a second she misplaced it, thinking it was her woods; beyond the fence where her dad used to accompany her to hunt. That this was the lake her dad took her to when she was young. This is where she learned how to swim. That this was her one escape from the harsh reality she lived in. She used to be safe there. It felt like home, but this wasn't. This was the arena, and she was still in the games. She was still-

''She stabbed her!'' A man a couple of metres away from her yelled.

His outstretched arm pointing somewhere behind Katniss as his other waved frantically at faceless shadows, lingering in the dark. Katniss felt so young and weak and was convinced she had transformed into a fragile, oblivious and scared eleven-year-old. The 73rd victor told herself not to look back. To keep swimming, keep making her way towards land, but she ignore her own commands and turn her head around anyway.

_Blood._

More of blood.

_A lot of blood.  
_

There, in the centre of the pool was a girl, trying hopelessly to keep her head above the water as blood erupted from wherever she was stabbed. She was an exploding volcano, Katniss thought, and the girls blood was the red, fluid magma that spread around the water, tainting unknown victims.

_Prim._

Before Katniss' dizzy state could connect the scenery and the blood spreading not only spreading from the defenceless girl in the water, but also from her own body and her own hands, covered in her sisters blood. She didn't even get to scream her little sisters name until the canon was shot and the whole world came crushing down on the struggling Katniss.

''Ladies and gentlemen, I am pleased to present the victor of the Seventy-third Hunger Games, Katniss Everdeen of District Twelve!''

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Katniss wakes up from the nightmare, jolting upright and desperately gasping for air. This was how her nights ended up ever since the games; in which she would be stifling her screams, crushing the pillow into her face in hope to muffle the yell.

Her face is coated by a light sheen of sweat, as is the rest of her body. _You're not in the arena anymore, Katniss, _she tells herself, calming the beating of her heart and taking in deep breaths. _Not in the arena. Not in the arena._

She didn't even notice her choice of words.

She could've tried to convince herself that she wasn't in the games anymore; that she had won, but she didn't, for it would be a lie. She was still and the games - she was only a survivor. A killer. She felt sick.

Tears fell steadily now, but the girl made no sound. A dull pain burrowed deep into her chest, but she convinced herself she was alright.

The fact that The Capitol gave children the power to take each others lives made her nails bore into her skin as she clenched her fists. It was wrong. Yet, despite knowing this, Katniss Everdeen was defeated, because she was just another piece of their games. She had followed the ruled. She had killed to survive and be the final one standing. Guilt overweighed her almost as much as how ashamed she was of herself. If anyone would ever find enough strength and bravery to not obey the Capitol and Snow, it would be from somewhere from the poor districts.

Katniss gritted her teeth as she found herself not being anywhere close to who could show any kind of protest or create an uprising towards the Capitol. She was one of them now, and no matter how much she didn't want to be, this was her life – and if she chose not to, they would kill her family.

Haymitch knocked on her door three times before giving up.

Each time he tried a new tactic of convincing her to leave the room. _Reassurance_ - which Katniss didn't exactly appreciate. She didn't want his pity. She didn't want him to tell her everything was going to work out in the end, cause it wasn't. This was real and she didn't want anyone to try to convince her otherwise. Although, in the back of her head, Katniss knew Haymitch would be hard on her, but he would still try to make her feel better – and she just wanted to mourn for the time being.

She'd been like this ever since her speech in 11, in which she by the way blew. Haymitch had suspected some kind of spark enlighten when the girl would return to her ally Rue district, but there was nothing. The fire that had once burned its flame in the seam girl's eyes were dead, and to his shock and disappointment, Haymitch watched her follow Effie's card, one by one.

Snow must've really had gotten to her when talking about Prim. That little girl with the blond braids and the wise, wide eyes was the reason Katniss Everdeen had fought to get back alive.

Pulling a hand through his greasy hair, Haymitch huffs as he finds himself facing the door.

''Sweetheart, you need to come out so that we can talk. I'll help.''

For every try he came by and knocked, his voice got more slurry and unclear and the knocks less rhythmic, probably due to how much alcohol the man was drowning in.

_Sympathy_.

''You think youre alone in this, Katniss, but you're not. I've been through exactly what you've been through. Listen to me, would you? Can't you see? I'm your mentor. _I understand you_!''

By the end of his rant, Haymitch tone showed a hint of annoyance, but Katniss wouldn't move from her frozen state, curled up in her bed. She heard him mutter to himself before walking away.

The last knock could hardly be judged as a knock. It was more like a slam and a punch on the door, frequently followed by grunts and low cusses under his breath.

_Threat._

''Don't you dare ignore me, girl. Urghh! If you don't unlock this fucking door swear I'll- Damn it! You don't know a thing, you know? Good luck working out this one alone, _sweetheart_,'' Haymitch growled at the door. He was beyond angry, feeling the fury boil inside of him, but he was helpless, and he knew it. He couldn't do anything to help the girl.

Finally, after his third try going in vain, the old victor trembles away from the door, not coming very long until he collapsed on the floor, his body eventually giving in to the toxic flowing through his arteries.

He let out a sigh of relief and closed his heavy eyelids; grateful for the vodka supply the Capitol offered him. He was probably close to be as worse as the morphlins from six, but at this very night – Haymitch Abernathy told himself he was done caring.

Somehow, the newst victor of District 12 had found herself crawl over towards the window, staring out at the beautiful night. Everything was quiet and vulnerable, allowing for subtle marvels to unnoticed. She wondered what time it was but it must've been very late. The only lights she could see were from the small pounds of water covering part of the land laid out in front of her. She could guess it was District 5, but she couldn't know for sure.

Four weeks.

It had been four weeks since she had last spoken to Prim. She waited for her sister to call; to send a letter, anything – but there was nothing. She fought with herself, deciding on whether she should apologize for leaving so abruptly.

Katniss had left without a long goodbye, not wanting to let herself break in front of her sister that she needed to be strong now when she was not going to be around for as much time as she wished she could. It wasn't fair to Prim, of course, but it was apparent that Katniss cared more about her sister than she could ever care for herself.

She thought back at Snow's words, informing her on her appointment  
-how much profit he would make on her and how he was happy making business with her.

She'd burned his letter. She had to get rid of his smell. Who could've known a single paper could catch so much of his scent? She'd bit her lip as the words embedded themselves under her skin, refusing to be forgotten, even though they were physically burned up into ashes.

The survivor watched as the night sky faded by the light of the sun and how the stars slowly disappeared. She was emotionless and blunt. She was a business transaction that had to be dealt with and Snow had done exactly that. He was the worst kind of monster; the kind that mattered. He knew exactly what he was doing and Katniss knew she could never be important enough to change his mind.

It was as if he had decided she was better left alone.

How wrong he was. She was weak; a pupped to be tugged around by everyone in the Capitol. She dreamt of the day where she could hold her ground and live for herself but that day was not in the near future.

By now, the train had made 11 stops and 11 speeches had been spoken, not a word flawed or mispronounced, not a single stutter or doubt as she read the words **Panem Today. Panem Tomorrow. Panem Forever.**

The train had travelled for miles, and each night, Katniss would end up staring out that window, watching as districts disappeared behind her; becoming a thicket of long, spiny trees. She had seen nothing like it in rather District 12 or her arena – nor on her first train ride for the Capitol as the final destination.

She came to the conclusion that she didn't like the trees. They looked haunted and sad, the exact reason why she kept staring at them, mesmerized. She had an odd sense that she owed it to them to keep them company; they were acting as shelter when she had none.

Her whole world had been torn apart.

Four weeks and now she was here. Her doom was closing in on her and that last bit of hope inside of her was only a faint whisper as she was escorted (or rather pushed by Effie) behind the barrier of sequence and glitter. She was struggling to keep up thanks to the five inch heels, blisters already forming after just the 5 steps from the car.

Effie introduced Katniss to the most important people of the Capitol, showing off the new brand jewel of the victors. The woman with the tall colour filled hair feels a mix of joy and proudness over the girl as Effie leads her through the crowd. Everything was perfect. Who would've thought that she would be the one to be the escort of Panems most famous girl in history?

Though there is one small flaw that was disturbing the perfect world of Effie Trinket, and it was Katniss.

The escort couldn't quite place what was wrong with the girl, but instead of asking or commenting something, Effie brushes it off, too caught up in the moment – all wrapped up in the cloak of fake glamour, winking at the camera while her hands lost it by the energy flowing through her thin body.

President Snow watched from afar. The girl with the consuming fire inside of her had come such a long way and even though he didn't trust her for a second – Snow found pleasure in knowing how he could use her.

He wasn't after the money – he didn't need money.

What he _did_ need was supporters for his empire, and the people buying the victors gave him his support. But then of course, some people paid – but that was rather just to create a balance in the system of the millionaires scattered in the Capitol.

Yes, Miss Everdeen had come a long way. There was such a short gap for her between living like rats in the scum suburbs of 12, just like the rest of the people there. The girl had come a long way from the gutter that she started in, so why could she possibly want to disobey him?

_He would kill her sister in a heartbeat,_ he thought without a single doubt as he narrowed his eyes out in the distance. Just thinking of 12 disgusted Snow, though he felt control over the district. They were starving and they were desperate and they were all under his control.

She better be living up to her expectation, that girl, for tonight was her first booking.

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**Reviews = Chapter 3 = GALE! **


	3. The fall

**AN: I don't really have much to say other than I really hope you like the chapter and that you won't be disappointed at the content. For those of you experiencing mixed feelings towards Katniss, please bare with her. She's really trying. Thank you for the lovely response. Love you all.  
I hope you like the chapter, your friend Jess**

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''My my my, what do we have here?''

She should have left. Right then and there. She should have walked away as quickly as possible, maneuvering the streets she barely knew with a determined walk. She should show resistance against Snow and his sick twisted, sadistic games. She should have left the building and headed right to the station and take the train back to District 12. She should be home and curl up next to Prim and keep her safe forever.

Katniss slowly lifted her gaze to meet a pair of ocean blue with depths that had yet to be explored. Her lips parted as a silent gasp filled the air between them. Before she was now a strikingly tall man with mousy hair pushed away from his forehead, crystal blue eyes and a smirk toying on the edges of his plump lips. The girl was like a deer caught in headlights, staring up at the man who had to be at least 10 years older than her with a surprised expression, conveying her true terror.

''It's a pleasure finally meeting you, love,'' he smiled down at her.

She could feel her throat tighten, the words getting caught and shoved back down hastily. Her mouth felt dry and her palms began to sweat as she tried to find some kind of point to focus on, distracting herself, hoping with everything she had in her for someone to stumble upon her distraught form in the mouth of this corridor with an unknown man.

Never in her lifetime would she ever rely on something like that to happen. She gave up when her sister got reaped. Nothing could ever be trusted in someone else's hands.

_Concentrate, Katniss!_ she yelled at herself. Her brain had gone haywire, chaotic phrases and sentences flying at her with enough force to send her mind into madness. _Stay alive. Survive. For Prim._ This was what she had to do to save Prim. She had to act and make the man who had bought her for who knows what sum of money..

The man watched as the girl licked her lips nervously, cheeks flaming. He couldn't quite determine whether he liked this side of her – he wanted her for the flame and courage she had showed all of the Capitol during her games. He wanted the flame and power she offered.

But then again, the way she was acting made him feel a power over the girl, and it made his blue eyes cause a storm, turning a shade darker.

''I heard things about you. Hmm… Well, we got all night to work that one out,'' the man chuckles as he opens the doors even wider, guiding her to enter his abode. There was no way out once he would close that door behind her, and knowing this, Katniss wouldn't move an inch closer into his trap.

Instead she took a faltering step backwards, eyes widening at her newfound information. The man before her stepped forward the same amount as she had stepped back, maintaining the distance between them. His smirk was growing with each second that he peered down at her frame, then tilting his head to the side, as if examining a specimen under a microscope.

''I kept my eyes on you during your games, girl on fire,'' he breathes, letting a hand travel up over her arm. His piercing eyes left hers to take in her dress, amused. ''Well what do we have here?'' His voice wasn't as aggressive, but it held authority and interest.

Sighing, almost as quickly as flicking a switch, the man suddenly grew impatient.

Both hands grabbed her, pulling her inside and slamming the door behind them. In one swift motion she was pressed up against it, the blue eyes appearing directly in front of her again. They were level with her, simply staring with lust.

''You have to stop with this act, or you'll make me angry,'' he growled under his breath, his fingers suddenly gripping into her skin. ''Stop playing hard to get, Everdeen. Are you trying to be clever?''

She shrunk back when he spoke to her, her throat refusing to form any kind of sound, trapping the words that so desperately crawled its way up. She noticed that he wasn't going to get any response of her anytime soon, so he straightened up and pressed his body against hers and Katniss felt the panic rise up her chest, causing her to take deeper breaths. They were only a mere breath away from each other when his height towered over her.

''I am going to ask you one more time,'' his voice was low and challenging, ''Are you playing tricks on me, girl on fire?''

Her survival instinct told her to run. They screamed that she had to flee as far as she could, but something inside of her whispered something more important than her own survival. Prim. It would be even more dangerous to risk such a thing by running away to save herself. The reminder was soft and hushed, barely allowing her mind to pick up on the warning words.

Katniss' lips parted, air rushing past them. The air fought against her words, both battling in opposite directions. _Prim_. Prim, Prim, _Prim!_

''Mr Calvin, why would I try to play tricks on you when you already have me?'' she purred, battling her eyelashes up at the man.

The man titled his head to the side slightly when she spoke. Something in his eyes sparked, setting a fire to blaze and take over the blue. His lips curled up in a way that caused hers to seal shut. Something played across his expression.

''Retract your claws, kitten.''

As the girl was dragged towards the large bedroom and pushed down into the white bed, not a single protest or sound escaped the victors lips – neither did she protest when she felt his slightly chubby hands started snaking up and down her skin.

Knowing that his fingerprints would stay on her forever would haunt Katniss forever, but in this exact moment she couldn't find herself protest. She just felt weak and useless, letting the man take all of her.

And at that moment, the girl asked herself the question victors ask themselves_. Why would people ever want this life?_

Why would people dream about winning the games to receive something as close to the Capitol life as possible offered? They fill you up with morphling or in Haymitch case whisky or pretty much any kind of booze with enough percentage of alcohol to make you numb. From what the girl had seen so far, most victors are not coping with their nights that well, most of them ending up in insomnia or worse, tripping over their nightmares and constant reminders of their games.

Coriolanus Snow and the Capitol media would keep the victors down by any means and keep the people of Panem away from the truth, forcing the victors to keep their masks on, building up a façade of lies. Worst of all was that they pushed you out in the spotlight, and they expected you to be fine with it.

All people wanted to believe the lie of a victor, and as the victors were pulled and dragged like puppets up for display to act and sell the role to make people they wished they had the same life, the people expected you to alright. Except some people who just hoped the victor would step out of line so that a punishment could be sent.

They expected you to be happy,

when all of them were in fact just miserable.

Victors were all walking time bombs, slowly ticking down to lose their mind. Some people forced themselves to believe that this was a greater life then what they had had before – making their clock go slower, but one fact was set straight – the countdown never stopped. The strongest would always fall in the end, whether it was at their deathbed or seeing their tributes die thanks to them.

They weren't living – they were barely surviving.

They couldn't be trusted – they were too dangerous. The paranoia casted aspersions, growing too strong most victors by the third year slept with a weapon near their bed in case of attack. The survival instinct kept them alive, but it drove them insane.

Is this what their reality had become?

Katniss recalls girls from her school talking while she passed them back in Twelve, shortly after she had got the news of President Snow's plans. _''How can you complain when you have such a stunning life? Why can't you just be happy?''_ There it was again. _Happy_. How could you possibly find yourself happy in a life as a victor? You've murdered people -_children_- to let yourself win a game that was never yours to play.

Haymitch remembered when he was reaped – he'd told himself to show them all, but instead of emphasise the rise they showed his fall, mocking him in his drunken state and his scandalous, pathetic tributes he never succeeded to bring back home alive, but instead in coffins.

Finnick Odair's mother and father congratulated him when the fourteen-year-old boy came home with a ground in his possession, all scars and cut marks from the arenas washed and scrubbed away. His family was proud of his achievement being one of the youngest victors, but most people's opinions on the Finnick Odair was just the look of disgust, blushing cheeks, lusting eyes or they were simply just laughing into their sleeves of what he had became.

District 6 victors wasn't alone having the tabloids use their face to document their fall from glory to shame, and people like Effie Trinket would give a sad smile to the victors she used to cheer for when she was just a child, repeating the words that had been thought to her in school; that this was just the way it goes.

Somewhere in the thought process, Katniss found herself quickly covering her naked, sore and numb body as she stumbled out of the door to Castor Calvin apartment. Her hands trembled against the wall to seek support for her weak knees, and it was only until she reached the elevator that she let herself release the breath she'd been holding in.

Grey, glimmering eyes stared up at the number above the metal doors, waiting anxiously for the elevator to show up. She forced herself not to look over her shoulder, certain that if she did, the man who had held her pressed up against his sweaty body all night would just drag her back into his room again. Her brain was mush, incoherent thoughts tangling with the ends of others. She could still feel Mr Calvin's arm around her waist, encasing her in an unbreakable hold.

She felt horrible and incredibly cold.

Katniss thought she was safe when the doors began to slide shut, slowly sealing the girl away from reality. That was all until a firm hand grabbed one of the doors, forcing it open.

True terror ran cold through her veins. She imagined those dark blue eyes staring at her body again; yelling at her to move and- But there was no blue. Instead she was met with something familiar. Grey, steady eyes staring at her as he made his way into the elevator.

A quizzical arch appeared on his eyebrows as he watched the girl, now pressed up the mirror wall. He was mostly just confused, feeling like her face was familiar – but he couldn't quite place it. Taking in her unfitted hairstyle and her big coat he could only guess who she had paid a visit to on his floor.

Katniss, on the other hand, could only must to keep the whimpers at bay. Her bottom lip was quivering beyond her control and her frame was trembling to the fast beat of her heat. She was a cold sweating mess of knotted hair, wrinkled clothes and bloodshot eyes.

''Are you okay?''

Her eyes, previously locked to the guy's shoes, darted up to meet his – her first mistake; His eyes was very much like seam eyes, and even though they were not quite the same, she suddenly thought of home. She thought of her father and she had herself fooled that she was safe with this guy. The second her lips parted, instead of an answer, a feeble cry rolled off her tongue, and in seconds her face crashed against his sweatshirt, grabbing onto it.

Gale Hawthorne stumbled backwards by the sudden force hitting his chest, but as soon as he felt the girl shaking like a leaf he stayed put. ''Ow,'' he couldn't help but mutter, taking a deep breath and knitting his eyebrows together at the strange situation he was put in.

She was hardly acting like anyone who lived in the Capitol, which could only mean she was not from here. Either that or she was under some kind of drug. And what was up with her face? Why couldn't he place a name to it? It was probably due to his insane focus on his work lately.

Gale had actually left the facility where they were developing the newest technology so far, trying to bring biomechanical weapons to the market. He'd just stopped by his apartment to get a new set of clothes, bringing the illusion of staying at home and getting sleep to his co-workers.

Slowly, not entirely sure what to do, he placed his hands on her shoulders, remembering his mother doing the same thing to comfort him when he was little.. It didn't seem to work on this girl though, cause as soon as she felt his hands on top of her shoulders it was as if she realized what was happening, backing away imminently.

''Are you alright?'' he repeated his question, scratching the back of his head - his nose slightly scrunched up. Katniss just gulped, feeling her wall come back up again, smiling up at the stranger. It was somewhat genuine, taking it how relived she was it wasn't Mr. Calvin.

It was someone else. Someone around her age with brown hair, olive skin and dark messy hair, similar to her but not at all of a chaos.

''Sorry, it must be the drinks,'' she said, trying to laugh it off, but he saw right through her. And it was at this very point that Gale decided he didn't like her. If she was one of those hanging out with Castor Calvin she could only be bad news. Calvin was Gale's friend, but that didn't mean he had to like Calvin's associates.

''Maybe you should take it easier next time or think before your actions?'' Gale suggested.

The tone was steely, causing her to peek up, keeping her lips sealed tightly together in one of her smiles, nodding. Katniss thought she was safe clenching her fists behind her back, for the moment forgetting the mirrored wall behind her. Gale saw the frustration she was trying to control and keep at bay, but acted oblivious to it, not really wanting to get dragged into it.

''I'm Gale Hawthorne,'' he mumbled, hoping to get her name in response. He didn't. Instead, the girl with the fierce eyes and the stiff body gave him another nod. It was almost as if she was afraid to speak to him.

Katniss noticed his disappointment of no answer, so she forced herself to smile even bigger, failing to convince him it was real. Instead it just made it even more obvious to him how uncomfortable she was.

''Nice to meet you, Gale,'' her voice said so soft and shallow it was almost inaudible for him to hear. And as the doors slide open and both of them stepped outside, ready and almost urgent to go separate ways, Katniss rushed away without even spending a single thought about the stranger she had just met in a broken state.

She was mostly just embarrassed and hoped it wouldn't risk Snow to think she was causing problems for him. She just forced her way out on the street, jumping into a dark car that was already waiting on her – insistent to lock herself into her own room and shower and scrub her skin until she couldn't feel it anymore.

Gale on the other hand lingered behind her, slowly walking to his car, his mind still set on the girl from the elevator with no name. He couldn't help but to notice how she had referred to him. Like she knew him. Like they were friends. Like they were safe around each other.

Truth be told, Katniss hadn't even noticed her choice of words – calling him his real name instead of giving him a title and his surname. She had just let down her guard around him.

* * *

GO DOWN AND** REVIEW **AND TELL ME** WHAT YOU THOUGHT ABOUT GALE, **PLEASE?  
_(IT WOULD REALLY HELP)_


	4. Tidal wave

**AN: It just so happens that chapter 4 contains a certain victor from District 4. _Yeeeaaah buddy_.  
_Hmm_.. I hope you like it! /Jess**

* * *

She spent her days alone, isolated. That is, except for when she was offering her service to sponsors and high government officials who gladly paid the price to President Snow to share a night with _the_ Girl on Fire. Almost as quickly as fire spreads – the famous Katniss Everdeen, victor of District 12 grew popular in demand and the more appointments were scheduled than originally planned. Fire was spreading, slowly burning its way into every Capitol citizen's heart – making her a new favourite.

As the other victors watch her be acclaimed, most either in agony or in anger – one was to seek out the girl, for some odd reason feeling like talking to her. Haymitch only snickered at this, asking if the victor was jealous for not being the Capitol favourite anymore, but Finnick Odair just brushed it off. He claimed that everyone was just going through a so called ''Katniss phase'' and that everyone would soon enough come back swooning all over him. He was after all _the _Finnick Odair, Presidents Snow's very finest puppet to throw around.

''What is he doing here?'' Katniss voice filled the room, surprisingly soft.

She had her back turned to Haymitch and Finnick, her eyes locked out on the panorama view. Her arms were wrapped around her legs and her head was resting on her knees. Strands of her brown hair mindlessly falling over her face, probably covering some of her vision, but she did not seem to notice, nor care for that matter.

She didn't even look at him when he first entered. And hey, compared to all the other greetings the 65th victor had experienced - that was a first.

Soon enough the reflection of the glass in front of the girl forms a shadow walking towards her and Katniss prepares herself for any physical contact; a nudge, anything, really – but all he does is to simply sit down next to her. He was close, but at a safe distance, far enough away from her so that she could still feel relaxed.

Glancing over at the girl, Finnick tries to decipher her. He didn't know very much about her. He didn't watch her games, neither was he a mentor this year. He did, however, spend a fair time in the Capitol during her games and sometimes caught glimpses of her on flat screens or while out walking hearing the latest natter about the games.

She was different alright. A fighter.. He found himself wonder how he could help her to stay intact and not break until the uprising planned would spread to the districts. Finnick could only imagine the plans Snow had laid out for her was not exactly going to keep that fire inside of her alive, but Finnick and the other victors intended to try their best to keep her hope up. There was no doubt about that she wouldn't join the revolution. Haymitch had said so himself. He just hadn't told her about District 13 yet, he was going to have to though. _Soon_. Before she broke down... Katniss mentor told Finnick he was focusing on having ''Sweetheart'' to stay strong enough for her family not to mention Katniss herself to stay alive.

''Are you not tired?'' Katniss mumbles, and by doing so Finnick is brought back from his dazing thoughts. His sea green orbs meet her sharp grey eyes and once again he finds her intriguing. She looked annoyed to have him around her. _Why?_ He hadn't even said anything yet.

''I prefer not sleeping during the night,'' he chuckles, for the first time looking out at the view the girl was so supposedly mesmerized by. It didn't take long until he understood why. Soon the dark night sky and the city lights naturally faded. Instead, Finnick's mind replaced it making the illusion of his home. A boat. The white flowers that grew right by the cliffs. Fish. Blue and white waves crashing against the shore. Rain.

The images suddenly made Finnick feel heavy. Like something sinking slowly down into a dark pit. But he did not feel any fear. He felt strangely calm, which was exactly what the girl next to him was feeling.

Katniss saw the town square of District 12. At her first discovery of this state of mind, she naturally thought about her forest. The forest where she hunted and where she felt free- but she quickly realized it was a mistake. From that moment on she tried to avoid the green leaves and the tall trees, due to how it often turned out to transform into her arena. She found herself focusing on the people she loved and were protecting, doing all of this. She saw Greasy Sae and Prim working on Lady. She saw Madge Undersee painting over a scattered wall with white paint and one of her friend Peeta Mellark's frosting cakes. She was lost in a world she wasn't in.

She missed them.

''Can't stand the dark?'' she smiles, raising one eyebrow at the guy beside her.

Finnick shakes his head. ''I like to be kept occupied,'' he wiggled his eyebrows, only causing Katniss to shake her head at his ridiculous attempt of being flirty. ''_If you know what I mean_.. Actually, I quite prefer to stay up _all night_,'' he finished with a seductive purr. He didn't get the normal reaction he usually got, which only made a grin spread across his lips. Finnick come to the conclusion that he liked this new victor, despite the odds. Haymitch, who happened to be out of whiskey got up from his seat, just about to leave the two victors alone, but only after adding his own slurry comment. ''When are you going to get a life, boy? Honestly. I mean, _come on_.''

''What? I've heard she's pretty prude!'' he defends. Katniss just rolled her eyes, avoiding any eye contact from the guy next to her.

Finnick raises his hand over his head, raising his fingers. At first Katniss thought he was saluting Haymitch, obviously confused what for. Then finally she noticed it was only one of his fingers, not the three she was familiar with. She just figured it was something District 4 related. And for the record, the gesture Finnick offered her mentor probably wasn't meant to say thanks, show admiration or saying good-bye to a loved one, which she originally had thought he was doing.

As Haymitch left the room, Finnick shifted his body in an attempt to get a more comfortable position on the floor, narrowing his eyes when he failed. This girl was wierd. _Whats the deal with sitting on the floor when there was literally a couch 10 feet away?_ He shakes his head, unsure where to start.

''How are you doing?''_  
_

Katniss shrugged. ''What do you mean?''

''You've had your first client, have you not?'' Finnick asks, leaning forward and closing up on the glass. Soon enough he was pressing his face (nose included) against the glass and as he leaned back he only got a few seconds to draw something in the fog. The movement distracted Katniss to answer. He was not exactly showing any kind of sign that he listened anyway, so she just watched him in silence. She tried to figure out what was wrong with him and how people could possibly adore him like they did. From the short time she had known him, he was a clown.

Katniss wasn't quick enough to catch a glimpse of what he drew, for as soon as his head with the messy bronze hair was out of the way, the glass had cooled down, making whatever he created invisible.

''I miss Prim,'' she eventually nodded, and even though it didn't say anything that could relate back to his questions, it was an answer. He pouted his lips, deciding the best thing to do was to distract her from the subject. He wanted to distract her from her life. From their life. He wanted to distract himself from what his life had become. This was how Finnick Odair tried to stay in one piece and not scatter into a billion pieces. He distracted himself from the numb feeling he always got after offering his _services_ to a client. He certainly wasn't in denial, he knew he was a slave of the Capitol - a puppet, a doll... but nor was he accepting this fate of his. He just chose to distract himself from thinking on it too much, knowing it would be too much of a risk.

The two victors, slaves under Presidents Snow's orders stayed like that for what could only be 10 minutes, only one of them speaking while the other one sat there, clenching the fabric of her black pants as his stories became more and more embarrassing to listen to.

Who knows what he was telling her? Haymitch surely didn't know, but when he got back to the room again he made it in just enough time to watch the girl snap. Suddenly the girl who had looked so tiny, all curled up into a ball on the marble floor no longer looked weak. She jumped up to her feet, pulling Finnick's body up with her before she started dragging him towards the door. Soon enough the pulling stopped working and she turned around, instead pushing him out towards the door.

''Get out you lunatic!''

He held up his hands in a sign of peace, but Katniss wasn't having any of it. When the two male victors of District 4 and 12 only laughed at her reaction she only started slamming her hands against the tall Finnick Odair's back, hoping it would make him move faster towards the door, but he just kept moving in a calm manner, glancing down over his shoulder at the girl.

They were going to be great friends - he could tell.

''Come on, you have to admit you haven't asked yourself the same questions! You know you want to know the truth!'' he argues, a smirk hiding on his lips. ''And don't lie you wouldn't totally buy that recipe idea of mine. Cheese, fish and pizza_ combined_. It would be an delicacy!''

Katniss growls, slamming the door open and stamping her foot for him to move faster. He had stepped over the edge when he started discussing food with her, claiming that her disgusted reactions only was a District 4 Versus District 12 culture shock. ''Okay, fine! What about a lamb stew pizza? Trust me, it could be an hit!'' He laughs, poking her cheek before glancing up at Haymitch standing over by the window.

''Bye old man!''

''Just go away, Finnick,'' Katniss groaned, pressing a hand up to her face in a faceplam. ''You must be the most annoying human being I've ever met,'' she mutters.

Her mentor sakes a sip from the large bottle of whiskey in his hands before turning over towards the door where Katniss and Finnick stood, both struggling to go different directions. Finnick was undoubtedly winning in strength, but Katniss' stubbornness would probably claim the victory in the end. ''_Oh please_. He got no brains, sweetheart. Hardly human. He's more of a fish, if you ask me!'' Haymitch snickers, and before Finnick could defend himself, just about to claim he was the sea god himself, the door was slammed in his face. He was left with a huge grin as he started making his way back to his floor.

He got thrown out, but that had happened before with Haymitch so it wasn't exactly anything new. And hey- At least he had managed to distract her. So when he hear Katniss Everdeen's sharp voice yell on the other side of the wall, all Finnick could do is to walk away with a proud smirk.

''Is he always like that?'' Katniss storms back into the room again, grabbing a green apple on her way back towards the big window. ''Is everything a joke to him? He's so… _Urgh_!'' She falls down on her knees again, grumbling words under her breath as she stares out at the view again.

''Oh just wait until you meet Mason or Chaff,'' Haymitch smirks. ''Maybe it should be caught on tape. It would be an classic, I'm sure. We could broadcast it all over Panem!''

The mentor doesn't get any answer from his newly co-worker who would guide new children to their death every year. The girl was already a goner. But she wasn't lost in an illusion of her home district – no, she was still in the now …

It just so happened that Katniss nearly out of breath sighs caused a mist on the glass again, creating a oval white shape, just by the corner where Finnick had previously drawn something with his tan fingers. Katniss mutters something inaudible again, a mist covering the space of Finnick's work again – now showing the entire thing.

The victor didn't return dreaming about her home. As the pattern the 65th victors fingers had printed faded, she was a goner. So many thoughts bubbled to her head, confusing her as she was torn between them.

It was like a tidal wave. She was drowning in questions she never would've even imagined to ask herself.

* * *

''Effie, who are these people?''

Katniss watched as the woman in front of her gave her an excited smile, for a second getting distracted from her colourful friends standing beside her. There was something about Effie's smile that made Katniss feel herself pull up her wall again, already expecting bad news. She didn't know these people, but whatever they were here to do, it certainly wasn't going to be anything good. How could anything possibly be considered_ good_ nowadays?

Effie knew what was considered good. She had been going on all day about _fabulous_ food, _magnificent_ wine, _amazing_ massages and how Katniss would get nothing but the best now after her victory.

''Oh dear! You wouldn't believe it! This is your new prep team!'' The escort exclaimed, clapping her hands with a big smile covering her lips before she turned to the 3 people beside her. The victor on the other hand remained silent. All she could find herself doing was to let her lips, previously pressed into a thin line, form a smile.

''This is Achill, Julius and Lexine,'' Effie presented the new people. All three of them beamed up at Katniss with shimmering eyes, idolizing her. It was only after they had all exchanged pecks and handshakes that Effie noticed Katniss worried and somewhat confused expression. There was something else hiding there, but Effie decided not to question it.

Katniss felt like mourning. First her life as a victor turned out to be a nightmare, similar to her horrible dreams she experienced every time she closed her eyes to fall into slumber – only this time, instead of killing innocent strangers and killing her loved ones – she was killing herself. She was already losing so much, and now she was going to lose Cinna? It wasn't fair.

_Nothing_ was fair.

''Oh, don't worry! Cinna will still be responsible for all of your dresses, but that's only during the Hunger Games. His brilliant mind is hired for the Games only, dear,'' Effie placed a hand on the girls shoulder, squeezing it softly. ''These three are your personal stylists for your everyday events! _Lovely_, isn't it? Trust me, you'll need them, considering all the balls and happenings you're going to be invited to,'' she says, ending it with a chuckle, all in which the new stylists join in.

The fact that she still had Cinna was somewhat of a relief to Katniss, but it was overweighed with the mentions of parties and balls she would have to go to. With clenched fists, the smile displayed on Katniss lips falters, but just thinking of Prim makes it easier to keep the fake façade up.

She hadn't lost Cinna, but he would be out of reach.

''Speaking of the games! You are excited to be a mentor next year, are you not? Oh, I'm so excited! Enjoy your time in the spotlight. Take it all in Katniss. You've earned it.'' Katniss stopped, looking up at the escort with the big colourful hair, but couldn't find herself to question her. Did she even realize what she was saying? Effie had just told her to enjoy herself after what she had done in the games. How could she do that?

''By killing people.''

''_Young lady_!'' Effie gasps, but to her surprise her prep time starts nodding their heads, almost as if close to cheering. ''Ah yes! Such a warrior out there in the arena. You took down 4 tributes, didn't you? Oh, it was powerful to watch. We were all cheering for you!''

Achill nodded his head in agreement. ''One of District 8's prep team tried to start a nickname for you. Something about a dragon. Can you believe it? It would've been a scandal. Such a fortunate that we stopped them.''

Katniss didn't know how to process anything of what her prep team was speaking of. She already didn't like them. They were just as brainwashed as the rest of the Capitol. They thought it was a game of entertainment. It made her sick.

Despite this, a smile was still going strong on Katniss lips, even though it hurt in every cell of her body.

''It will be an_ honour_ to work with you, Girl on Fire,'' one of them, reaching out both hands to grab one of Katniss pale hands, squeezing them. Julius didn't think the victor would notice when he took notice of her ruined nails, but Katniss clearly did catch his purple eyes widen, caught off guard.

Soon enough, Effie and the new prep team watched as the victor scurried out of sight and back into her room. Lexine followed her up the stairs, her heels clicking obnoxiously. Effie wasn't far behind and together the two of them walked into Katniss room. When Effie had last been inside of Katniss room her LED wall had been displaying a forest, now it was shut off – leaving the wall black.

Effie gently sat down on the edge of the grey bed, crossing her legs – as for Lexine scrutinized Katniss wardrobe. Katniss turned around with hopeful eyes, her back facing her open closet. She held a hanger in each hand.

''Do you like the dress or this top with the black pants I have?''

Lexine thought for a moment, trying to decide between the two choices, but her opinion was biased. She always had a hard time helping people with fashion, she was a hair specialist, not to mention their obvious lack of fashion sense Katniss had. Despite this, the hair stylist was not mature enough to not criticize styles that weren't similar to her own.

''Don't you have anything… I don't know.. In colour?'' She asked with a posh tone, almost looking disturbed. Effie furrowed her brows at the lack of manners, but sighed, realising she was with Lexine on this one. ''Don't worry, we'll make you beautiful.''

''The dress has colour!'' Katniss protested.

Effie gave Katniss one of those looks parents give their child's when they say something so naïve that it just turned out sad in the parents eyes. It was almost like schooling. ''Dark blue barely counts as colour, lovely.''

And so it went on. Effie left shortly after the dress were sorted out and soon enough Julius and Achill walked in, all ready to apply fake eyelashes and apply a shadow tracing the girls cheekbones. Katniss just stood there, training on her fake mask to the Capitol people as they pulled her around like a ragdoll. She felt filthy again and urged to scratch her skin, but her hands were already occupied holding stuff for Julius.

When finally done, Katniss soon enough found her chauffeur pulling up at a familiar building. This was where she had her first appointment. Her first service. Her first…

_One hour._

Katniss Everdeen stood outside of Castor Calvin's apartment and waited for 63 minutes to be exact. When she first knocked and didn't get any answer she just figured he wasn't ready yet, so she simply leaned against the wall next to the door. Soon enough her arms were crossed and her head started hanging down.

''What are you doing here?'' a voice suddenly said after 63 minutes of waiting, causing the girl to look up.

When Gale Hawthorne had walked out of his apartment he didn't expect to find a victor sitting down on the floor in the long corridor. He didn't expect her to look so tired. In fact, he didn't expect any girl sit down on the floor with such complex dress she was wearing.

She quickly got up, brushing her dress of before straightening her posture, clearly embarrassed to see him. They had to stop meeting like this. _No_- meeting _at all_.

''I'm waiting for Mr. Calvin,'' she spoke, frowning as she glanced at the shut door beside her. ''He was supposed to be here around eight.''

Truth be told, Gale actually considered just leaving her right there and not share the information he could easily withhold from her. But there was something about the fact that she had waited for Castor for one hour that made Gale feel bad. And who does that anyway? He would've left after 5 minutes. Max. Unless it was business or work, which this obviously wasn't for her. She was only here to mess around and do who knows what with Castor. Gale didn't want to know. He just felt irritated by her presence.

''He's downtown.'' Gale says, slowly closing and locking the door behind him. ''He called and asked me to take you to the club,'' he continued. All of this was lies of course. When Castor had left he hadn't shared a word to him. Gale was annoyed, but thanks to his back turned to the girl he could easily hide this small feature until he took a deep breath, steadying himself.

It was first now that she noticed the small black device that he was holding. Probably car keys. For a second she didn't understand why he would bring them up already, but when her eyes searched further down the long corridor she noticed the small garage. This explained the ramp that curled around the apartment complex left side.

''Oh,'' Katniss manages. ''And you actually want to help me out?''

The guy in front of her huffed, only causing Katniss to grow even more irritated with his character. She didn't like him the first time they met, and this conversation wasn't exactly working in his favour to help his reputation in her book. But then again, that's probably not anything he was aiming for. It really wasn't. Gale didn't want to care about the victor.

''Don't be ridiculous. I need to go and talk about the latest shipment of Omega and-'' Gale suddenly narrowed his grey eyes. ''I don't have to explain myself to you,'' he stated, causing the girl to lean back. ''Just be glad I'm even here. Now come on, I haven't got all day,'' he scoffed. And with that, he struts towards the outside and walk towards the slim silver sport car, definitely built for speed.

Katniss hesitated, caught off guard by his attitude. She turned to look back at the door to Mr Calvins place, feeling herself troubled with words. She would easily wait there all night until he finally got back, claim he lost time with her and get off the hook – but she could easily get a complaint from doing so.

''I don't-'' the girl ogled. Katniss was about to scold herself until a deep voice cut her off.

''I'm giving you 5 seconds to get in this car before I leave,'' he yelled from the garage.

Katniss bit her lip, clenching her fists – causing her knuckles to turn white and veins more visible. How could he be so bad-mannered and cold? She didn't appreciate him ordering her around. It was even worse considering they'd only known each other for a whole five minutes in total. But she couldn't bail on Mr Calvin. She wanted to go back home to Prim and this was the only way to speed up the process. So she turned her back to Mr Calvin's door, pulling on her wall again.

''Just know this wont happen again.'' And with those words, Katniss briskly made her way towards an irritated Gale Hawthorne.

* * *

**What did you think? ALSO: What part of Mockingjay is your favourite? :) I would love to hear if you care you share.  
Thanks for reading.**


	5. FRNZ

**AN: GUYS GUYS I JUST THOUGHT OF SOMETHING**  
**GUUUYYYYSSS**  
** _RUSSIAN CROW_**

* * *

The car ride was silent all except for the music playing. Katniss shifted anxiously, pulling her jacket tighter against her to cover her dress. She felt out of place, taking it that the guy driving the car wasn't at all very dressed up. In fact, he was just wearing a dark grey shirt and his hair hardly tamed. Getting a closer look, Katniss could almost see how he had pulled his fingers through his brown hair, causing it to stand up to the side in the wrong places.

Gale noticed the girls discomfort but said nothing. He was entertained by the fact that she was uncomfortable in his company.

Katniss stared at the grey-eyed guy. ''Why are you _smiling_?''

Once she said this Gale's smile got exaggerated, though his gaze didn't falter from the road. ''Am I not allowed to smile all of a sudden?'' He held back a chuckle as she said nothing in return and turned her head towards the window, confirming his victory. A few seconds passed before Katniss softly started humming along the music, followed by Gale giving her a sideways glance.

''You _sing_?''

It brought her humming to a stop and her eyes stared at him like he had just found out some secret about her that he wasn't supposed to know. Like it was something that could put her in trouble. And despite this horrified look of hers, she didn't say anything.

Katniss was staring at the guy's left arm, trying to catch a glimpse of the patterns spreading over his skin. It reminded her of Venia, Cinna's friend and her old prep stylist. The difference was the colour. Gale had chosen to use black ink for his tattoos, while Venia had chosen golden to print on her body.

Neither of them spoke as Gale cut the engine and got out of the car. Katniss opened the heavy door and nearly jumped out of the car herself. Compared to the car, the building they've reached looked monstrous. Gale took long strides up the stairs, not looking back to see if Katniss was behind him. For all he knew she could be surrounded by reporters and he wouldn't care. It was only when he reached the door that he looked behind him expectantly.

He watched as Katniss stood in front of the building in the middle of the front lawn, her wide grey eyes scanning the neighbourhood. Gale didn't understand why she seemed so captivated by the area since she herself spent her time living in the more lavish part of the Capitol when she visited.

Truth be told, Katniss felt something beyond anger as she looked around. Here she was, surrounded by people living in these amazing kind of houses while people in her own district barely and rarely even had a home. People lived out in the streets where she came from, and here they-

Gale cleared his throat. ''Are you coming or what?'' His voice was deep and slightly mocking and Katniss was for the first time reminded that he was just one of the Capitol citizens. She had let the thought slip once or twice when spending time around him, and the fact that she let her mask drop in front of him embarrassed her.

The fact that he had been waiting for her too, probably watching her as she'd glared up at the tall buildings wasn't exactly helping either. Though she wasn't too keen on coming, watching Gale's eyes was enough incentive.

Pulling the wall up again, Katniss smiled, tucking her hair behind her ear before climbing the stairs up to where he was waiting.

The party was in full swing when the two of them arrived. The sky was the darkest Katniss had ever seen, spotted with bright stars. The air was warm, almost humid, but that didn't stop Katniss from clutching her cardigan around her frame. Her confidence in the dress Lexine and Effie had picket out hadn't risen during the car ride in Gale's presence and she had no intention of taking her jacket off- but she knew that would soon be changed.

''_Hawthorne_! Is that really you?'' a voice boomed almost the second the two entered the building. Gale turned around to find an old neighbour approach him, arms outstretched for a hug. Last time Gale had seen him he had been covered top to toe in a light violet dye, but was now almost completely dark blue.

Katniss watched as the man finally noticed Gale's company, and he gasped. ''Who's this? Do_ you_ know the _Girl on fire_?'' he exclaimed, sounding surprised over this fact. He took the girls hand, kissing it before swinging an arm around Gale's broad shoulders.

''Who would've thought, huh? You and Miss Everdeen to be friends. Hmm… _Marvellous_,'' he hummed, his eyes suddenly changing into a dark colour as he let his eyes wander over the girls body.

The girl opened her mouth to speak but Gale beat her to it.

''She's not my friend,'' he said abruptly. ''She's here for Castor.'' He stood next to the blue coloured man with a bored expression. It was easy to see he would've rather been doing anything but introducing his neighbours girl to a friend.

The mans eyes widened, turning to Gale as if he was responsible. ''Castor Calvin's friend?'' Joy lit up in his eyes as he suddenly turned his head over towards the bar, looking for a special face. ''Well what do you know. I would've never thought…''

Somehow, as if on cue, Castor suddenly appeared next to Katniss – showing up out of nowhere with his hands snaking around her waist and pulling her close to him, pecking her cheek. ''You took enough time,'' he said with a bitter tone.

Then, remembering the audience, Castor turned towards Gale and the blue man, grinning. ''I see you've met my long time friend and neighbor Gale Hawthorne,'' he said breathlessly, his dimples embedded on both cheeks.

''Yes. We've met.''

Castor swung back on his heels for a moment, narrowing his eyes as if not entirely sure what was causing the sudden movement. It caused Gale Hawthorne to feel somewhat worried over him. They were after all friends, and if there was someone Gale cared about - it was Castor, which was rare to see in the list of priorities Gale had. He nearly had any time for friends due to his work - but his friendship with Castor had came naturally. They grew up together, not to mention they were neighbors.

''Don't be such a drag! I'm wonderful,'' Castor slurs, waving his friend off. ''Tell you what - do yourself a favor and stay for a drink or two!''

Gale didn't plan to stay for very long. He disappeared almost immediately into the crowd of people after they had found Castor, who was already fairly drunk. He turned the suggestion down, in a high manner just saying he had work to do tomorrow and preferred not to wake up with a hangover the next morning. In summery, Katniss was left and Gale saved his own skin and left without any further word or explanation. Katniss didn't have the time to take all of this information in though. Mr Calvin grabbed the girls wrist in his, forcefully pulling away from the safety of staying close to the main entrance.

''Come on then, let me introduce you to my associates!'' he yelled over the music.

They made their way past the dancing crowd, but Castor kept walking out back. The park opened up to a small shore of a large lake, hidden in the darkness. There were people talking and laughing, and almost too dressed for the occasion. Most of them were holding something in their hands which they now and then brought up to their lips – creating a glooming orange glow, but Katniss couldn't figure out what it was. If Castor had given her time to observe the environment properly, she was sure she would have appreciated the situation a lot more than she already was.

Castor Calvin suddenly stopped, urgently pulling Katniss to his side. Slightly dazed by the abrasive party scene, the victor hadn't processed the fact that she now stood very near to a group of older men and women, all eyes now staring at her, taking her all in. They were all wearing gaudy clothes, heavy makeup, and massive jewellery, almost making it hard for Katniss eyes to adjust.

The small crowd of people greeted Castor cheerfully, Castor sharing the same enthusiasm. Katniss tried not to look surprised but the amount of friends this sadistic man beside her made her feel sick and somewhat dizzy. It was clear that they all liked him, which only made Katniss even more outraged. She concealed, holding her true feelings in. Anxiety rose in Katniss' chest, suddenly realizing everyone was staring at her.

''And who is this?'' a cocky voice asked.

She looked up to see light, icy blue eyes. The man was much taller than her, which was something new for once. Most Capitol people tended to be short. The man had light violet hair that gelled meticulously and a light orange skin colour with green make up. He wore a smug expression, eyes twinkling with mischief. Katniss immediately decided she did not like him.

''_This_,'' Castor smiled, patting Katniss on the shoulder. ''Is the Girl on Fire. We all know her, don't we?'' And suddenly everyone was cheering, clapping their hands and beaming at the victor. Katniss refrained from pulling a disgusted expression, instead smiling politely.

They ask her how she got there, taking it that she didn't come with Castor, and when Katniss mentions Gale's name they instantly grow curious, throwing questions at her.

''Wait, you've actually met Gale Hawthorne? Are you _sure_? I heard, wait no, I _know_ he's a work workaholic with that job of his!''

''He has no fashion sense at all. Look at that poor man. Maybe he's colour-blind? I heard he has never in his whole life dyed something, isn't it awful? Oh, it's so sad. But those black tattoos of his will always be his thing, I suppose.''

''Oh my. Why yes, now thinking of it, isn't that the guy who drives his own car? Could you believe that Katniss? Such strange behaviour!''

''Did you know some are questioning his citizenship? Which is utterly mad, taking it that his dad was the founder of Styx industries!''

Suddenly hushing everyone, the tall orange skinned man spoke up again. ''_Calvin_,'' he accused, pouting his lips. ''Are you not going to introduce me?'' Smug face asked, raising his eyebrows. Katniss wished he wouldn't, but Castor stuttered as if he were horrified with himself for not doing it sooner. The girl watched him in confusion – she would never have expected someone so harsh and raw as Mr Calvin to act so meek.

''Pardon me! My bad. Katniss, this is the CEO of _Fort LLC_ and the main contributor for the building of the Hunger Games arenas every year, Leon Grimm. Leon, this is my _company_ for the evening,'' Castor introduced, sounding pleased with himself. Katniss gave him a strange look – the name sounded familiar but she couldn't quite place it.

''Pleasure to meet you, Everdeen,'' Leon said excruciatingly slow. He was charismatic; he reminded her of Caesar… but the dangerous kind. He had at least ten people flocked behind him, their eyes never leaving his sight, giggling every few seconds.

''I suppose so,'' Katniss mumbled under her breath, and not seconds after she felt a sharp jab to her side and Katniss flinched. Castor gave her a scowl before quickly pulling on a grin. ''Play nice or you _will_ pay for it,'' he hisses.

She forces a laugh, as if he had said something funny – though it really was making her heart crumble.

Not very far away, Gale Hawthorne was pushing down white toxic alcohol down his throat, feeling attempted to let go for just once. His friend Thom, who just so happened to bump into Gale before Gale had gotten a chance to escape from the club had forced him to stay, for catching up.

Most people around him looked at him like he was from an other planet – an alien of some sort. After all, it was not every day you got the chance to catch a glimpse of Gale Hawthorne. He was somewhat of an urban legend to most Capitol citizens. Seeing him like this, especially at a place like this, they all knew it was a once in a lifetime experience.

''- and you never told anyone?'' Thom frowns, picking up one of the small round colourful delicacies of the Capitol. No matter how many times Gale hadn't heard how 'divine' they supposedly were, he still couldn't stand them. They were too sweet. In fact, Gale hated nearly all of the Capitol's riches. The only things he actually used were the items provided from District 1 and District 3. Technology was after all his expertise.

''No,'' he shrugs, earning a huff from Thom.

''You never talk about anything, Gale,'' he starts. The words weren't any news to Gale, but he just didn't expect someone like Thom to notice. But then again, if someone was to notice anything about Gale, it would be Thom. Placing down the crystal glass on a nearby table, Thom decides to lean closer towards his odd, unique friend, trying to make Gale realise he was serious about all of this.

''I know you better than anyone, and I don't even know what you're thinking,'' he stated.

Gale was one of the very few people who had that something that made them different, and the way he was always wearing a sceptical, almost disgusted face made it seem like he questioned the authorities of the Capitol … Which in its turn would be weird, pointing out that fact that Gale was actually working for Panem.

No, nothing of this made any sense for the Capitol citizen next to Gale, and he couldn't figure it out. When he gets no answer, Thom just takes it as a sign to continue speaking. ''It doesn't have to be me, I guess,'' he chirps, shrugging up at his friend before slamming a hand against Gale's shoulder. ''It's just not good to hold things in. You're smart enough to know that.''

Gale frowns. He was also smart enough to know that if he shared his pain it would only get worse.

The victor who was attending the party wanted to run. She couldn't even look at her company as she walked next to him. ''You must have worked your way to the top to posses such success that you have today,'' she mumbled, staring straight out the black water of the lake. The moon was high and casted a glow over the shore. She felt vulnerable alone with Leon, but she could tell he was trying to be nice; his attitude seemed to diminish when other people weren't around. This didn't stop Katniss from keeping her wall up though. In fact, it only made her even more sceptical.

''You haven't even taken a sip of your drink yet,'' Leon noticed, nodding towards the tall glass he had handed her 20 minutes ago – which was still full of the pink, bubbling beverage.

''I'm not thirsty,'' Katniss said, not even trying to sound apologetic about it. She didn't want this. She didn't even want to be here.

Leon laughed boisterously. ''You don't drink because you're thirsty, Girl on Fire. Go on, drink!''

She knew what he was doing, and without even having to think about her –already acting on impulse- she inconspicuously moved away from the man, though there was not very much she could do. The edge of the dock they were standing on was just a few feet away.

''I should probably go-''

''No. You're not,'' Leon's charming voice suddenly grew dark, as did his eyes. ''You're staying.''

''I am leaving,'' Katniss repeated, trying to keep her tone steady. She was feeling her heart pick up speed. She wanted to get as far away from Leon as she possibly could. He was dangerous; uninhibited and not used to being told no.

Leon suddenly grabbed onto her wrist, eyes boring into hers. ''Why? You do not wish to be in my _company_?'' he said innocently, mocking her. ''You know I could get you so easily, don't you, _Girl on Fire?_''

Katniss glared up at the man, terrified with his hands on her. She could almost feel as his fingerprints would stick to her. How he shared the same air with her. And worst of all – she couldn't find herself to move. She was frozen.

''Victors who don't obey orders are frowned upon around here,'' Leon said, locking his lips. She was immobilized by his stare, but what he said next would scare her the most. ''Fine. Suit yourself. I always like a challenge.''

He moved his hands too fast for Katniss to move away. And even if she would've tried, his group of followers only a short distance away, blocking the path back to shore, rowdy and already making too much noise.

''Let. Me. Go.''

Her voice was cracking, but no one heard her over the laughter from the club and the loud music. They were just Capitol citizens having a good time, disillusioned by the darkness. Katniss couldn't see Leon's face anymore, but she beat her fists against her chest, knowing what was coming for her. But he didn't understand her fear. He mistook it for girlish behaviour. This wasn't real. This was all just a show to show her who had the control. But Katniss sharp cry as she felt his arms drop beneath her was real.

The water was cold; extremely cold. Her clothes were heavy, making it so much harder for her to fight for the surface. The feeling of pins and needles crawled through her, like a thousand paper cuts on her skin. She tried to fight the water above her but her body refused to let her escape. She tried to hold her breath like she had learned by her father when she was just a child, but her chest burned in objection.

She opened her mouth, black water pouring into her lungs. All her feeling and senses were eventually lost, and for a moment, dying didn't seem so scary. She stopped struggling, letting her body sink.

Gale had finally had enough alcohol in his system, feeling sudden need for fresh air. He walked out the back and without even saying anything Thom quickly followed after him. As soon as he reached outside he could hear a muffled laughter, coming over from the docks. It was some man holding a girl, talking. Anyone could've mistaken it as a romantic gesture but Gale could've sworn the girl was shaking. He was just about to ignore the scene, too fed up with the way people around him were acting – all until he caught a glimpse of her face.

''Gale- What are you up to? Where are you-'' But Gale didn't stop to look back at his confused friend. Gale's pace quickened, as he understood the reason for the fear in the girls eyes. He really shouldn't care that much - but it was his friends girl, wasn't it? Speaking of, where was he when she clearly was not being very comfortable around the new company. ''He's got Castor's-'' he said in a hard tone, but didn't even get to finish his sentence, as a loud sharp scream suddenly filled the area.

Then with a blink of an eye, Gale watched as the girl fell.

He broke into a run. His feet stomped hard onto the concrete dock, fists clenched. Leon Grimm turned around; eyes wide for a second then narrowed as he saw Gale Hawthorne approach him. He didn't even think Hawthorne was alive, taking it that no one had seen him for months.

''Don't-'' Leon started, but Gale didn't stop for Leon.

He jumped.

The water engulfed him, soaking him to the bone. His opened his eyes underwater, his heart beating fast as he realized he couldn't find her. He swam frantically, reaching his arms out in the darkness. Then he felt something brush against his foot, making him swim deeper. Bubbled left his mouth as he was losing air. Then he saw her.

Katniss skin was pale and her eyes were closed. She seemed to be missing both her shoes, and the hem of her dress hovered over her flat stomach. It didn't take long until Gale grabbed her by the arm, pulling her up, but something was stuck. He tugged hard on the fabric but it wouldn't budge. It was hopeless.

He circled his arm around her waist for support, pulling her jacket off as fast as he could. His chest was burning with the lack of oxygen. He felt her body move into him as he peeled the cardigan off her and pulled her to the surface.

Gale let out a sharp gasp as air entered his lungs and he looked to see if Katniss did the same. She didn't.

The sick thing about the whole situation was that nearly no one had noticed what was going on. The only one who had seen it was Thom, and his mind was barely even functional. He watched as his friend lifted the victor to the dock, proceeding to lift himself up, not wasting time to get to her side. He moved her hair out of her makeup stained face, forcing her to breathe until she finally coughed up water, eyes still closed.

Gale put a hand behind her back, lifting her into a sitting position. ''Just keep coughing,'' he instructed, keeping his voice steady as droplets kept falling over his eyes. She was breathing heavily, as if she couldn't get enough air.

Leon turned up next to her, raising one eyebrow at the girl below him. Without a second thought, Harry shot up from beside her and pulled his fist into the centre of Leon Grimm's face. ''You're an idiot, you hear me?!'' Gale wanted to end the man right there, but he couldn't. ''Do you even realize what could have happened? _Do you?_''

The man held his face in pain, blood streaming out of his nose at a steady pace. His friends flocked him in concern, but most couldn't help but to watch as the guy no one had seen for _months_ outside help Katniss Everdeen from the ground. She couldn't seem to find her legs, silently crying. Katniss had never in her whole life felt more hopeless. She still couldn't belive what had happened and what was in fact happening right now. She was clearly dazing; why on earth would someone like Gale find her? It made her confused. Especially the Gale part. Why was he- she couldn't think straight.

''You're an fucking idiot, Grimm. And if you ever mess with my turf again, I will not hesitate to make your life so much more difficult. I will destroy it, got that?'' Gale still doesn't get any answers to his threats. Leon mostly just nods, still mute. Probably due to his drunken state.

Still frustrated over Leon Grimm, Gale scooped her up into his arms, walking away from Leon Grimm and the oblivious, drunk people.

* * *

**AND SUDDENLY WE'RE UP TO CHAPTER 5?! what.  
**_Please_, don't be a silent reader.


	6. NMY

**AN: ****I'll punch a bee, I don't give a fuck.**

* * *

_One more day, Katniss, and you'll be on your way home again_. Home to _Prim_.

She was a refugee. She didn't belong here. She didn't belong a city filled with light and colours flashing across the sky. The air tested like poison and for every breath she filled her lunges with she felt more and more nauseous.

The only place Katniss could actually find herself able to breathe on was the very top of the training centre and the building she was soon about to leave. Her stylist had mentioned it just the night before she had been sent into the area and she had sneaked her way up to the roof, believing it would be her very last moment of freedom. Oh how wrong she had been. Even after winning the games, she was never free.

The girls fingers press hard against the railing. She was dangerously close to the force field surrounding the area as she closed her eyes and took a deep breath. Last time she had been up here she would've thought it was her last time. Some people she would be up against in the area had been born into the fight, and some, such as Rue, had no chance.

No one really makes it out alive – Katniss barely felt alive, even though she had survived. Her skin and body was a rental. _This_ was what she had become. _A doll_.

''Katniss?'' a voice suddenly enters the girls hazy state, and she quickly turns around, already preparing a smile to whoever had found their way up here. She prepared her façade of happiness and through how she could handle this in the smoothest way possible. The smile quickly dropped when she saw who it was.

He sighed, still standing over by the automatic doors, probably not very fond of the cold temperature the roof was offering. Katniss hadn't even noticed the goose bumps on her skin until she saw Cinna's pained expression as a cold wind swept over the two of them, caressing their skin.

''Hey, let's get down from here – I want to show you something,'' he gives her a weak smile, making an gesture for her to make her way towards the door. She obliges, slowly walking towards the automatic doors without saying a word.

To Katniss' surprise, Cinna does not lead her down to the 12th floor, neither does he go over to the dressing and prep room to show off some new design he had been working on. As Cinna gracefully made his way outside of the big complex and made his way over to a black car, Katniss certainly couldn't guess where he would take her.

''You have a few months in District 12 until the Games start again,'' he started as they were now both sitting in the backseat of the fancy vehicle. ''Use it. Do what you want to do. Remind yourself why you are doing this.''

Katniss only stares at her only Capitol friend. Cinna was telling her to use her time wisely. He told her to convince herself to keep doing it, because he knew who and what she was fighting for. Smiling, feeling something hard build up at the back of her throat, Katniss nods. As the stylist notice the girls lower lip trembling, he reaches over for his hand, patting it lightly.

He wanted to tell her that things was going to change. That all plans were going into motion soon. All work he and a handful of others had worked on for so many years preparing would soon be in its place and they would create chaos and fires and they would fight.

But instead of telling any of this, Cinna decides not to, attempting to cheer Katniss up by distracting her from the deep thoughts she was clearly letting get to her. ''Tell Primrose I said hello.''

Katniss lets out a small light but short laugh, letting her grey eyes fall down on her hands in her lap. She appreciated what he was doing, guiding her mind to think of other less complicated things. She thought of Prim. She thought of her sisters goat Lady. She even thought about that horrible cat that defiantly didn't deserve a name like Buttercup.

''We're here,'' Cinna breathed in relief as he found the car slowly pull over. Katniss would defiantly not know what this place was, neither would she be any familiar with the place they were in.

Narrowing her eyes, Katniss shut the door behind her after stepping outside, staring up at the surprisingly small building in front of her. It was not anywhere near as tall as any of the other buildings – but that didn't mean it was an odd feature on the street. It was still built almost entirely out of white materials and big windows were covering the top of the building.

Cinna crossed his arms, frowning at the building. He hadn't been here since the release party of a new kind of fabric and he had somehow got the wrong address – being the only reason he had found this building in the first place.

''What is it?'' the girl next to him asks and with a flick of her hand she pushed the braid resting on her shoulder to fall down her back. Cinna smiled. ''It's a museum,'' he explained. ''It's very up to date I'm afraid, so don't expect something that could actually be used in any use. It's mostly from the Dark Ages and beyond, but it's something.''

Katniss raised one eyebrow at the building. Why would the Capitol citizens have something like this? The only reason she could think of was that it was acting like a reminder of why they had to have the Games and why they had to have Panem ruled the way they did. Although, Katniss doubted the people ever needed to be reminded. So far, during her visit, the people around her never questioned anything. They acted native and superior – an odd combination.

Not that people in District 12 usually asked questions, but they had a reason not to. They would risk falling into the hands of Peacekeepers and soon enough be turned into an Avox. People out in the districts had reasons to be scared to ask questions…

The Capitol on the other hand bothered Katniss. They were powerful enough to actually ask questions, and they didn't. They didn't want to because they didn't see the whole picture.

They were so excluded from the reality all because of the fact that they had a flawed worldview. It wasn't something you could question or argue against – it was only logical for people like Effie not to question the system after spending their whole life being taught than any thought outside of that was wrong.

Effie for example sees consequences in actions made by the tributes reaped. She doesn't demand manners and diligence for giggles; she's doing it because she knows that when tributes don't do things by the book in the Capital, there is a price to pay. She simply is not interested in paying any prices. She is stuck in the status quo. Maybe even comfortable by the illusion of safety. She fears change, just like most other Capitol citizens because they already have everything.

Ultimately, Katniss reminds herself that she had never encountered a person from the Capitol other than Effie Trinket before her games. Usually the escorts for the reaping's were the only ones people out in the districts got to see, meaning that the escorts is the physical manifestation of the Capitol. They are literally carrying the responsibly of constantly reminding the audience of the excess of the Capitol and what the districts are up against.

They were fine with the fact that all 12 districts served as scapegoats while the Capitol themselves lived on all riches and resources they could get their hands on. They even had so much they had District 1 or 3 design a drink to make them sick, only so that they could fill themselves with even more food. All this was happening while people were _starving_.

''This is like the roof, but warmer and more interesting, I suppose,'' Cinna continued. ''People never go here. And it's at the very boarder of the Capitol. People rarely like going this far out.''

Katniss kept her mouth shut, letting her eyes wander up over the short building, staring up at the mountain chain hiding behind it in the dark. She wondered what was behind those mountains. There was literally District not even as much as 10 miles from here and there was still such a huge contrast between the living conditions.

''It could be an escape for you, if you ever need one,'' Cinna offered, placing a hand on her left shoulder, giving it a squeeze before backing off. ''Thank you,'' Katniss breathed, taking a step closer to him before he was out of reach – pulling him into an hug. ''I'm so happy I have you as a friend,'' she whispered into his ear before taking a step back – as did he, entering the car again.

As the car drove away, Katniss finally found herself face the museum again. She had never been to a museum before. Her district certainly didn't have the money, maintenance or resources to have one. And here she was, standing right in front of one, and it was a ghost building.

She nearly knew nothing about museums, which only made it even more enthralling for her feet to bring her up the stairs. She almost rushed inside, determined to find answers. And as her the sound her shoes made as she walked through the big main entrance, Katniss smiled.

She had found an escape.

* * *

''_SWEETHEART_!'' Haymitch cheered as he found his winning tribute emerge from the sliding doors, exiting the elevator. She looked different since he last saw her – but then again, he _was_ drunk… But even in this state, Haymitch was right. Katniss walked with a straight posture and that miserable look was no longer glued to her face. Don't be foolish though. She wasn't dancing into the room, nor was she smiling – she didn't even say hello. Her face was neutral, as if deeply concentrated on something important.

Despite this, in Haymitch eyes, she defiantly had improved.

''Shut up,'' Katniss rolled her eyes, only making her mentor chuckle. He could tell she wasn't really being angry at him – she just wanted him to be quiet. Well guess what? No way. In fact, it was quite an impossible thing to ask for, taking it that they had company.

''Poor Everdeen. It's such a tough life, don't you think?'' a new voice cooed, making Katniss jump, suddenly letting up her guard. Taking In her surroundings, Katniss eventually notices the visitor – the trespasser – sitting opposite to Haymitch in one of the neon yellow couches.

''Aw, isn't it sad? Such a squalid little ending when you realized what winning _actually_ _meant_? Little pure _Girl on Fire_ is descending right in front of our very eyes,'' Johanna Mason makes a fake sad expression with her mouth, raising both of her eyebrows at the 73rd victor.

Katniss didn't know where to begin. First of all: Why did Haymitch keep bringing victors over? Secondly, did he actually have people who wanted to spend their free time around him and his sulking?

''Johanna Mason? As in victor of the 71st Hunger Games?'' Katniss said incredulously. Her voice held a mixture of relief and confusion. ''And you two are drunk?'' Johanna rolled her eyes. In her eyes, Katniss Everdeen was clearly stupid. From what she had seen so far, Johanna didn't see what the deal with the girl was. She was just stupid and lacked a lot of things. Stupid as in oblivious, not the other type of stupid. Sure, the girl had potential and she was to be considered smart with her morals, but she wasn't the kind of smart Johanna looked for. To summarize, Johanna didn't like the Girl on Fire that much and had almost no respect for her.

''The one and only,'' Johanna grumbles before she gives Haymitch a sloppy smile, raising her beverage up as if to salute their choice of activity. Haymitch tends to miss most of her actions though, taking it that he is close to fall unconscious.

''You're not supposed to be here. Victors only visit the Capitol during Games related stuff or-'' the girl with the grey eyes starts, her voice oddly enough sounding threatening. She didn't get very much further though, for no one other than Johanna herself decided to interrupt Katniss.

''Ha! Already growing fond of the Capitol, are we..? Already protective over your new favourite people? The people who got you to kill _four_ children?''

The girl in question freeze when her death count is mentioned. If there was something she never wanted to be reminded of, it was the lives she had took with her own hands in the arena. She had assumed it was an unwritten law among the victors that you didn't mention one another's games. Katniss assumed they were all sharing the same guilt and torment in the aftermath, being a victor, so why would Johanna try to rub it in?

It was pure cruelty.

''_Don't_,'' Katniss warned. ''How can you honestly joke about that?'' she accused, glaring at the other female victor. Johanna only huffed, brushing it off with a laugh. Then, pointing one of her tanned fingers over at Katniss, her face suddenly twists into something angry.

"You're hard to sswwallow… With your tacky Capitol drama and your defender-of-the-helpless act. Only it isn't an act, which makes you more unbearable. Please, feel free to take this personally."

''Watch it, Mason,'' Katniss threatened, stepping closer to the intoxicated people in the room. Mason was full of herself, and she had to stop.

For the first time in the argument, the third victor decides to join in, but it's all in vain. ''Aye. Calm down, would ya?'' Haymitch laughed in his sleepy state, as for Johanna Mason just holds her hands up in a faux surrender, mocking Katniss. But both Katniss and Johanna ignores the man, staring at each other, waiting and almost expecting to be attacked. They were both playing a game, and Katniss is the first one to strike.

''I am doing it for my sister. Don't you dare question me. You obviously don't care.''

And as the silence grow thicker and thicker, Katniss is suddenly reminded that this is just another girl just like herself. A girl who had seen all the evil the Capitol had to offer. Johanna proves this very fact by finally finding an comeback – somewhat delayed because of the alcohol in her body.

"I'm not questioning you!'' Johanna snapped. ''And I _can't_ care. They can't hurt me. I'm not like the rest of you. There's no one left I love."

The male victor yawns, turning his head enough so that he could see his tribute and now co-worker. Through his bloodshot eyes he could see the clenched fists and the anger in the girl he had watched fight in the games. He could see she was about to lose it – in other words; do something reckless she would regret. She clearly didn't understand how Johanna Mason worked.

''Let her spill out her hate, she'll stop eventually,'' he shrugged, letting his empty bottle of whiskey drop to the floor with a clank. Even though the light sound was not at all very loud, the soft tone echoes in Haymitch head and he has to wait for it to fade out until he continues speaking. On the positive side, he got enough time to consider what he had just stated.

''…then again, I'm not quite sure about that – but look how optimistic I am, you should be proud of me, Sweetheart!''

He was a wreck. She wasn't close enough to smell him, but having experienced this kind of Haymitch before, she knew for a fact he had almost certainly spilled whiskey on his not fully buttoned shirt. His hair was a mess and dark bags were starting show under his eyes, showing the restless nights. Katniss wish she had it in her not to care, but she did.

Katniss adjust her focus back to Johanna and frowns. ''Snow…''

''Yeah! No kidding, brainless!'' she said with an impatient shake of her hand.

''Maannersss'' Haymitch pitches in with a high-toned voice, probably trying to imitate the posh capitol accent of Effie Trinket. He failed, miserably… but from his own perspective, he nailed it. Proud and satisfied, Haymitch finally found himself black out – gladly welcoming the sleep with open arms. He was no longer a part of the discussion. He no longer had any kind of responsibility to try to work it out, because let's just be honest- he didn't want to. He didn't have the energy to bother.

Let's just say Haymitch was done for the day.

Katniss suddenly felt the air go tense. She knew Johanna was too smart and wouldn't actually say anything that would get herself killed or even as much as risk it unless necessary. Instead she was trying to provoke the newest member to the victors, and it was working. Katniss was growing more impatient and frustrated for every second passing by.

Suddenly Johanna's face went hard, her jaw clenching as her fingers twisted around the glass she was holding. She walked with slightly unbalanced steps towards Katniss, who was staring in disgust and shock at the scene.

''This isn't what they tell you it is. You haven't won anything. They still own you, Everdeen,'' Johanna growled. Katniss was caught off guard. She didn't expect this kind of honesty from Mason; neither did she expect herself to believe the words so easily. She thought she was stronger than that, but clearly she wasn't.

''-and the people you are actually doing all of this for? They will hate you when you get back to your dear District 12,'' Johanna finished coldly.

Swaying back, finding momentum on her heels, Katniss bit her lip. She was fighting the urge to scream on top of her lungs and dig her paws into the girl in front of her. She wanted to tell her she wasn't right. That Johanna was lying. That Snow didn't own hear. She didn't want to hear any of it. She was done with Johanna Mason, all so hated victor of District 7. But Katniss couldn't physically bring herself to do it. She was mentally blocked. And she couldn't fix it.

She couldn't be fixed.

And as if things couldn't get any worse, Johanna made her final cut of the conversation, slurring out the final words that would eventually crack and break the fighter once known as the Girl on Fire.

''Open your eeyes. There is _no one_ by your side. You have no one and you're _alone_.''

* * *

**Adios amigos  
/Jess**


	7. Moon

**Masculin Feminin (1966) - What's the center of the world for you?**

* * *

So now she was a thief and a liar.

She was a secret.

Peeta Mellark found her at the edge of the not so electric fence, just letting her fingers brush against the slim wire as she stared out into nothing. She had been like this ever since yesterday, when she had woken Prim up for the third time in a row from her nightmares. He couldn't imagine her pain, neither could he truly know what the girl was either thinking or feeling, but he promised himself he would try to be there for her no matter how much she was blaming herself for her games.

District 12 didn't have another victor other than Haymitch Abernathy and for all this time that drunken man was the only impression Peeta had gotten out of a victors life. He saw how messed up Haymitch was – he had finally realized he wasn't drinking because he had the money to; he was drinking to wash the past away, and it was the only victor people like Peeta could use as a source for referring to a victors aftermath. That was all until Katniss won.

They stood there, watching the fenced border together, both lost of words to say to one another. When she had first brought him here, to this very edge of District 12, Peeta had genuinely felt scared. This was the edge he hadn't known about; the woods were vast, stretching for miles. Animals could easily travel through it – and then there was the exception of Katniss Everdeen.

She ached.

Her bones felt as if they were weighing her down, like she had brought something back with her that she was constantly carrying. Her skin was itchy, especially over her ankles, elbows and knees. One of her ears rang. Her head felt fuzzy and unfocused. She had a weird sense of déjà vu.

Compounding her discomfort was the realization that she was not only standing by the fence back in 12, but with Peeta. As flies buzzed around both of them, she straightened her posture and turned to look over at him, releasing the wire from her fingertips.

''It won't be her, Katniss,'' he spoke.

The girl stared up at her friend, clenching her jaw as she nodded. ''I know. It's can't be her.''

Prim was about as safe as you could get, since she's only entered once. It was unthinkable.

Peeta knew how anxious Katniss was feeling over the Games this year. The looks she had given the other children on her way to school with Primrose had not gone unnoticed. He had never mentioned it, but he knew. He knew she was watching her possible new tributes. But he was wrong. Katniss didn't see new tributes; she saw friends she could so easily fail if she did anything wrong during her mentoring.

''It won't be you, Peeta,'' Katniss continued. ''There are people in our age who has had their name in there way more than you. The Seam claim the tesserae.'' Words were left unsaid, but they both knew. People were starving, and whatever path they chose to handle the problem, they were raising their chances of death. District 12 claimed the highest amount of tesserae out of all districts, and it was surely due to the Seam.

Peeta could only nod, digging his hands further into his pockets. He surely didn't want to leave, but he knew the time was ticking down. _Their_ time was ticking down. Soon Katniss would leave again, accompanied with who knows who. It could be one of his brothers for all he knew.

''You can help this year Katniss. Haymitch isn't alone anymore, and you know how to survive,'' he argued, his eyes wandering over the field surrounding them. Then, just as Katniss was about to speak, Peeta suddenly reaches down and picks up a dandelion.

Katniss beams at the boy in front of her as he gently hands it over to her, careful not to crush it. Grinning he gives her a look as if words weren't needed, and Katniss could only agree. It was like their first proper start.

She could never repay him the way he had saved her so many years ago, but she was trying every day, and she wouldn't stop in a long time.

He didn't smell like bread today. There was a sweeter scent to him as the wind brushed against their clothes and skin, lightly pulling in their hair. Katniss smiled, because she knew it could only mean one thing; there was a new display of cakes.

Unable to read her sudden change of face expression, Peeta only frowns, but gladly accepts the smile she was offering him, quickly returning it.

''Let's go, maybe if we're lucky we can make it to Haymitch's house before Effie get's there,'' Peeta suggests. By mentioning the escort, Katniss couldn't help but wonder if Effie would still be wearing that cyan wig, or if she would be sporting some other unnatural colour for the new Games. Katniss tightly holds the flower in her hand as they walk over the meadow, taking in the soft air as it progressively gives more of a taste of coal and ashes.

As they walk the 1 mile to get to the Victory Village, Peeta keeps making slow and graceful moves with his feet, almost as if bored just walking, but Katniss enjoys the silence – so instead of speaking up, she just gives him a playful nudge, causing him to stop and start to whistle instead.

They could see several houses on their way to her house, just on the other side of the trees. It was another world entirely if one was to compare it to the place in where only Katniss and Haymitch lived. It's a separate community built around a beautiful green, dotted with flowering bushes. There are twelve houses; each large enough to hold ten of the one Katniss was raised in. Ten stands empty, like they always have, which always tended to frustrate Katniss. Why leave ten houses empty while people just half a mile away does not even have a home?

Peeta watched her as she narrowed her eyes at some trees, smiling proudly at her actions she clearly wasn't aware of. She was completely oblivious to the fact that she had joined in whistling – whistling tones to answer his tones.

Katniss was still busy thinking of the new house that now belonged to her. The house that was nothing close to a home.

You could easily figure out which house belonged to who. Haymitch's house, despite the care taken by the grounds-keeper, exudes an air of abandonment and neglect. Peeta who was walking up front brace himself at the front door, knowing it will be foul from previous experiences, and it was not until Katniss hand suddenly pushed the door open that he found himself moving forward.

Over the years the odors of liquor and vomit, boiled cabbage and burned meat, unwashed clothes and mouse droppings have intermingled into a stench it always brought tears to Peeta's eyes. Katniss however was already wading through a litter of discarded wrappings and broken glass, determined to find her mentor.

Finding him, she nudge his shoulder. "_Get up_!" His snoring stops for a moment, questioningly, and then resumes. Peeta crosses his arms over his chest, sighing before one of his hands reaches up and press hard against his forehead. He owed everything to this man for bringing Katniss back – but this drunk was literally impossible.

After different types of techniques, Katniss finally figures it out: water. "What are you _doing_?!" he sputters.

"You told me to wake you an hour before the train arrives," Katniss.

"_What_?" he says.

"Your idea," she insist, and without a word, she does a small bow to the man before turning over towards Peeta as they both exit the building together. Peeta starts make his way back home and Katniss finds herself facing her family again.

The muddy yellow cat hissed when she came back to the house. Ladies and gentlemen - the world's most hideous cat: mashed-in nose, half of one ear missing eyes the colour of rotting squash. It was such a scrawny kitten with a belly swollen with worms.. probably crawling with flees. He certainly didn't deserve the name Buttercup.

Prim was dressed in Katniss' first reaping outfit, a skirt and a ruffled blouse. Katniss rushed up the stairs, quickly changing her set of clothes to a blue blouse and black pants, eager to spend some time with her sister before they would have to leave.

''You look beautiful,'' Prim says as they both rush into each other right by the stairs. Katniss shakes her head, hugging her sister because she knew she was terrified. It was her first time entering the reaping. The Victor forced herself to stay calm; her thoughts and horrible predictions already twirling in her hazy mind. She didn't want to get distracted. She wanted to be there for Prim. She needed to be there and calm her down – not think of all of her own problems. Not now. Not with Prim.

In fact, she didn't want to think about anything. Her thoughts were coming back to her in fits and starts, swimming into focus like half-forgotten dreams. A dozen different settings.

It was all going to happen again, constantly stuck on repeat.

* * *

_**Djinn 3KXL Subliminal Indoctrination System  
**__**RESOURCE POINTS / primer module - Uploading flash data**_

His father, director and Dr. Hawthorne, MD, PhD, Inc., was a fan of the scientific process. He was a very ambitious worker. He cared about the why. He cared about the how. Even when he didn't care about what it what doing to the subject, he cared about how you could state the formula to replicate the experiment.

His son, however, was different.

Gale tried to smooth out his neon blue suit with the orange details one last time before he locked his hands behind his back. He gave a smile to the camera set up in front of him. He was set off to work advertisement on his company – Panem's only advanced force working for defence and weaponry.

This was the one time of the year Gale actually looked like a Capitol citizen. He was dressed in the latest fashion, he had the accent and makeup was applied to his eyebrows and cheekbones. He was one of them.

Gale certainly didn't like the attention.

He really couldn't see why he had to do it, taking it that there were hundreds of other available to act as a face for the company, but apparently they wanted the 'mysterious Hawthrone' to present their work they had been managing over the last year ever since the 73th Hunger Games.

With the USAF Weapons Procurement Liaison standing right by his side, Gale is given a nod and suddenly everything is working.

''Every 1 hour, we use Panem's air force to control the borders to keep you and your district safe-''

The Hunger Games didn't only mean success and parties in the Capitol. For people like Gale, business people, it was all about making money. It was all about selling. Marketing and advertisement was everything, and taking it that every single citizen of Panem was watching the broadcast 24 hours a week, it was officially the greatest way to reach out and get more sells.

Hawthrone was for the moment just about to do an appearance in the short film they were making for the opening ceremonies. This was the way not only to convince people to they were safe thanks to the company, but also to sponsor them. **We are the nuclear deterrent, we secure Panem**.

''Welcome to the battlefield of tomorrow … Welcome to Advanced Idea Mechanics - AIM Industries and the concordance extraction corporation.''

He went on presenting the HazTech Exoskeleton prototype v-lc he had came up with when he was 17 – a full body matrix of hyper-sensors and nano-hydralics. Gale knew that surely no one knew anything about what he was actually talking about, but people bought it. People bought it because as long as he was confident with the knowledge, they would too.

They showed how the prototyped crushed a piece of simple brick material with only a snap, and Gale was told to keep a smile on while they demonstrated it again. He looked into the red blinking camera, keeping his hands together in front of his chest as he walked closer to the camera and away from the prototype.

''We've lost so much in the Dark Ages and in our on going conflict we've lost more than our sense of time. But we were courageous.'' He walked over the green screen and was given a sign to stop. Standing still suddenly made him realize how tired he actually was, but he forced himself to keep on speaking.

''We fought with the help of AIM expo, and in our battle for humanity we have lost so much but we've been given heroes and soldiers who work every day to protect this county. We created AIM industries and we have secured Panem's future.''

The ad would be edited within the next 4 hours and then processed and uploaded into the system for the Games – all in good time until the ceremony that would take place tomorrow. Gale sighed, glad to walk out of set and finding space to breathe again.

Gale didn't drive home to his apartment after the shoot. Instead, he drove to his office building – which was completely dead of people. It wasn't anything new; it was like this the night before the chariots. People tended to spend their time at the train station today.

''It's the reaping's recap!'' A reporter of the Capitol media reports from the screen that had been left on before leaving yesterday, and Gale closes the door to his office, narrowing his eyes at the bright screen.

He waited until District 3 was done, nodding unconsciously at his preferred district, then he shut it off, turning back his focus to his blueprints over the newest bomb designs.

His father, director and Dr. Hawthorne, MD, PhD, Inc., was a fan of the scientific process. He was a very ambitious worker. He cared about the why. He cared about the how. Even when he didn't care about what it what doing to the subject, he cared about how you could state the formula to replicate the experiment.

Gale cared about results.

He also cared, very deeply, about not being like his father in any way. In fact, most of his life decisions were based around the philosophy of not being _Director, Dr. Hawthorne, MD, PhD, Inc._

So it was painful to have to agree with him on something so important to him, even if he'd never know about it. But when Gale opened his eyes, feeling his insides had been pounded flat, the first thing he did was feel for the journal on the table in front of him. He had woken earlier, finding himself alive on the office room floor – that was a surprise – and crawled into up into his coach to finish the sleep his body was demanding out of him. Only now, his limbs felt like they'd been assembled by a factory with a lousy quality control. Squinting in grey light that could've been any time of day or night, Gale opened the journal with the somewhat messy handwriting in it. He began to scribble down his ideas, but soon enough found his brain protest.

He had a sudden flash of memory: _Tobias' cold body at the bottom of a hole, dirt flung over him._ It was only a trick of his thoughts, and an untrue one that – Tobias had been wrapped up when buried to hide his ugly poisoned form– but it was enough.

Gale was not going to let it happen again.

* * *

''Hidden blade works as the assassins favourite weapon – but there is no chance you would get your hands on knifes unless you would make it to the Cornucopia before the Careers,'' Katniss frowned at her tributes.

''Which you can't!'' Haymitch added with a slur. For once, Katniss was glad for his comments. She glanced over at her former mentor, raising one eyebrow at him. It is possible that Haymitch never had a mentor, since the previous victor of District 12 might have been dead before his games – but whenever she asked him about it he had just huffed and said he made it out of his Games all thanks to his own skills.

Ever since that she dropped it.

''And you won't,'' Katniss finished on what Haymitch started, giving the tributes a hard look. She didn't want to talk about their bloodbath strategy yet but she wanted them to know she was not kidding, and neither was the drunk idiot who was mentoring with her.

Haymitch could only huff at the tributes. Great – a daughter of a shoemaker and a close to deaf moron who was way too clumsy for his tall frame. How typical. _Great._

To him they were a joke, but Katniss stayed determined.

''Bow & arrow are silent and lethal at long range, but I would guess there is a high demand of the bow this year…'' She paused, taking a deep breath before continuing. She was trying her best to prepare her tributes for their training. She wanted them to fight for their lives. She wanted them alive.

''Axe is a traditional arena weapon. It's effective in close combat, powerful and somewhat loud. Don't ever try to throw it, it'll just drop to the ground.''

Katniss had thought of possible survival tactics she could help her tributes with. It wasn't helping with the huge spotlight she had on her all the time either. Katniss Everdeen – the girl on fire, was she going to bring home another District 12 tribute and go against all odds? Was she going to prove everyone wrong once again?

She certainly hoped so, but she didn't know how to mentor.

She didn't know how to mentor children her own age to what would potentially be their death.

''You need to focus on learning to handle a weapon. Use the first half to go around and find something realistic you could actually work with, then you stick to it.'' Off to the side, Haymitch's snores are growing louder, but Katniss ignores it, closing her eyes and taking a short breath before going back to her mentoring.

Portia decides to question Katniss – not to be rude, but only wanting to give a perspective. ''What about survival stations?''

Katniss had thought of that. Of course she had. She didn't believe in the _Attack is the best defence_ theory, but she was considering the fact that no one in District 12 had any experiences. She had been the only exception.

The boy could probably use the tomahawk due his early start down in the mines, but had the worst hearing and he was not very clever. She had to repeat herself several times to him yesterday right before the chariots and from what Portia and the stylists had said about the boy, it wasn't very positive things. He lacked respect for the Capitol – much dislike the girl.

Out of nowhere, Cinna suddenly showed up, and Katniss didn't even notice him until he placed a hand on her shoulder. ''Maybe they should head down to the training?'' he suggested to his friend who was now the newest mentor. The accent was there, but was somewhat dim compared to Effie or the other team of stylists Katniss had.

Usually victors don't work at mentors their first year but Katniss being the only female was already claimed to be mentor. She was going to remain one every year for the rest of this era. Cinna could not help these tributes like he helped her, but he was going to keep helping Katniss, even after her games. He was going to keep betting on her.

Jonah was the first one to rise from his seat and without waiting for the female tribute he rushed off towards the elevator, quickly disappearing without a word. Cinna stayed put, smiling down at the girl next to Katniss.

Katniss had told him the night of the opening how she knew the girl. How it was Peeta's friend. How horrible she felt. How innocent the girl was. With his green eyes locked on the blonde girl, Cinna couldn't help but try to work out a makeup for the girl that would bring out those faded blue eyes of hers.

''Look out for the Careers,'' Katniss rushed, suddenly grabbing the girls hand and giving it a quick squeeze. ''Don't stand in the spotlight, and you'll do fine.''

The tribute could only nod, bringing her friend and mentor into a hug before rising from her seat, leaving.

* * *

**I know and I'm sorry for the late update. I tried.  
_Did_**_** anyone recognize the female tribute? :)**_


End file.
