Gone with the Wind 1. Of Returns and Interuptions

Gura slan as scealai

Synopsis- they didn't open the mail bag, and Scarlett didn't get the news that Rhett married Anne.

She had to get home. She held the horrid paper in her hands. How was it possible? How could it be? She owned property in Georgia, and Georgia did not allow divorces. How could he have divorced her? This had to be a mistake. But there was no time for these worries. She needed to get back, she had stayed too long already. Without her clothes on, there was already a slight rounding to her normally flat stomach. She shouldn't have come, she shouldn't have stayed for the celebration.

* * *

Two and a half weeks later on the Brian Boru

The morning dawned calm and clear as Scarlett looked over the waters. The previous night she had been unable to find much rest, and so she had finally abandoned all pretense and escaped to the deck. The morning air blew gently, slightly tinged with the salt from the waters. It was only a matter of hours until she would have to face Rhett. She wondered absently if he would know the truth the moment that he laid eyes on her. Would he realize that they had been given a miraculous second chance?

This child would bring them back together. This child would be the rebirth of their marriage. Rhett was simply silly about children, and Scarlett was feeling a stirring inside of her that she had only briefly experienced before. But that stirring had not survived, and she was terrified that something might happen to take this gift from her. She placed her hands on her abdomen and rubbed slowly. She wanted this child, and not just as a way to capture Rhett. She already loved this child inside of her that had been created from a union with the man that held her heart.

With the other children, she had been too young, too selfish, too vain. She had not been prepared for the task of being a mother. Nothing in her life had prepared her for that. The thought still brought that flutter of fear into her heart. She had only been 17 when Wade had been born. And she had never had to be responsible for anything in her life. She had still been a spoiled, petted child. And then when Ella had been born, Scarlett had just turned 21. And she had been still just over the brink of starvation, with a fear in her eyes that she would again be destitute and hungry and unable to take care of her family. Ella had been an inconvenience that prevented her from insuring her family's survival. And even with Bonnie, she had still been locked into the mindset that she would never have enough things to protect her from war and political upheaval as a survivor of times like those are wont to do. She had loved Bonnie, because Bonnie was beautiful and strong-willed. But Scarlett had not wanted her at first, and the vanity aspect had in truth been very minor issue in her reasoning. It had been the fear that the world would be again turned asunder and she would be back at Twelve Oaks crawling through the slaves vegetable patches trying to find enough roots to stave off starvation for just one more day.

The first time that she had felt joyous about being in this condition, had been with the baby she had lost. Being with Rhett had begun to make her feel safer, as his presence had always been prone to do, feeling as if there was a buffer between her and poverty now. And she was certain that Rhett loved her, and that this child was a product of love and an all consuming passion. But then that had all been ripped from her, leaving a hollow ache in her heart.

And so she stood on the deck of this ship, looking out at the water as land slowly came into view along the horizon. The day of judgment was upon her. There was no turning back now.

She wondered if he would be angry at her for keeping this secret from him, not that she had kept it hidden for very long. He would have to be excited, he just had to. This child was a blessing. She didn't know if she could stand it if he wasn't.

She was still standing at the railing, staring out into distance when Colum found her.

"Scarlet, aroon. Ya weren't in ya room, and I was worried about ya." He said as he placed a hand on her shoulder. "Are ya worried about seeing the babe's father?"

She turned to him – her eyes wide and alert-- and then looked back out into the distance. "Yes, I'm worried. God's nightgown! The man divorced me when I had been told it was all but impossible. He told me that he never wanted to see me again, and said that he wouldn't return to his mother's house until I left." She turned back to her cousin, "What if he turns me away or won't even see me? What if he won't listen to me? What if he doesn't believe that it is his?"

"Have ya given him reason ta doubt ya?" Colum questioned.

She nodded, her chin trembling. "I was a stupid little fool, flirting with every man that I saw. But I never..." she paused, as she attempted to control her emotions. "I was never unfaithful to my husband though few people would believe me. Colum, I swear that this child is his. I have never known a man who was not my husband."

"Then I'll be praying for ya, my child. And God will be with ya, of that I have no doubt. Did you yourself not say that this child was a gift from the Father?"

Scarlett looked into his kind blue eyes and smiled. "You're right." Scarlett narrowed her eyes and then squinted.

"Are ya feeling unwell? It might be best if ya lay down and rest a bit. There is still time for that before we dock." He advised her gently.

"I am a little tired, and my head does hurt. Perhaps it would be a wise idea. I'm going to need my rest because I know that I will have a lot of explaining to do to Rhett." She grinned wryly. "I am certain that he isn't expecting me."

* * *

After the boat docked, Colum escorted Scarlett down to the docks to wait for a hack to take her to the Butler's place on the Battery. The nap had helped relieve some of her weariness, but she still had a nagging headache, although she was thankful that the nausea was no longer plaguing her constantly. She doubted that anyone could tell by looking at her that she was with child, but as she had dressed to disembark she had noticed the gentle swelling of her abdomen. Truthfully, she shouldn't have stayed in Ireland as long as she had. Very soon she would be forced to hide inside her home until this child made its appearance. With each pregnancy she had showed a little more quickly, and this was not a secret that could stay hidden for long.

The air was warm and the pungent scent of fish brought a new wave of nausea that Scarlett was barely able to suppress. The sun was hot, leaving her lightheaded. The way she felt she was in no condition to see anyone, but she didn't have a choice. She needed to go to Rhett now. Putting it off another day would not make the revelation more pleasant for her to share. He had a right to know about his child. She had to go to him now and give him the chance to decide what he wants to do about this situation, although Scarlett hoped that it would make him give them a second chance.

But the sun was too hot, and her head pulsated with the pounding beats inside her skull. She leaned against Bridie, trying to stay strong, but not feeling like she was succeeding. She knew that she needed to lie down; her corset was too tightly laced for this stage of her pregnancy. She couldn't get enough breath, and she hoped that Colum would hurry. She had never been one who was prone to fainting. But now, she knew that she was near the verge of it. The only other time she had fainted was when Bonnie died, but now she recognized the signs.

He returned followed by a driver who took Scarlett's trunks and loaded them while Colum and Bridie helped Scarlett into the coach. After riding with her to the Butler's home, they would return to the ship to finish their journey. Scarlett knew that taking a coach was against what the Charlestonians considered proper, but considering her condition and the way she was feeling she knew that she would be exempt from that ruling. It would be much more of a black mark on her reputation if she were to faint in the middle of the street, allowing everyone to know that she was in a family way and had no husband. The carriage was definitely the right way to go about this.

Shielded from the sun and leaving the scent of fish behind her, Scarlett began to feel stronger. She wondered if Rhett would be there when she arrived. He might be at the Landing; he did so love that place. As she rode along with Kathleen and Colum at her sides, she dreamed of Rhett's reaction to her news. She knew that he hadn't wanted another child after they lost Bonnie, simply because he didn't want to risk his heart again. But once the shock wore off he would be just as excited as she was. She had no doubt in her mind. She imagined him holding their child, cooing and making faces as he had done with Bonnie.

Finally the carriage pulled up to the house, and Scarlett steeled herself against the possibility of Rhett's negative reaction. Scarlett hugged Bridie and bid her farewell. Then Colum handed her out of the carriage and then followed her up the stairs to the front door. He stood with her as she waited for Manigo to answer her summons. After a few minutes the door opened and Scarlett stepped in to the dim foyer. Colum kissed her cheek and blessed her before turning and rejoinging Kathleen in the carriage. The driver brought her trunks and set them just inside the door, and the carriage disappeared down the road to return to the ship for the remainder of the voyage to Savannah.

Manigo said nothing to her as she walked towards the parlor, certain that they would all be inside. The house was very quiet, although she could hear a voice that she didn't recognize drifting down the hall. Manigo never made a sound. She thought it odd that he hadn't greeted her or said a single word at all. She started to comment on this as she stepped towards the open door, but her words were silenced as the voices from inside the room floated out to her, allowing the words to echo in her mind. She stepped forward so that she was framed by the doorway as she listened to the Episcopal minister saying "...if there is anyone who can show just cause as to why these two should not be lawfully married, may they speak now, or forever hold their peace..."

A strangled cry escaped from her throat as the reality of the situation dawned on her. Her hand flew to her mouth. Her heart began to race and her lungs fought for air. This couldn't be happening. Rhett couldn't be marrying Anne Hampton of all people. The blood rushed from her face. She saw Rhett turn to her with a look of surprise and confusion, but then the blackness began creeping farther into her line of vision until the whole world was silenced and darkness welcomed her.


	2. Of Vows and Confessions

_Author's Note: Thanks to everyone who reviewed. I can't believe that I can't find another story that starts from this point, it seemed like such a logical place to me even the first time that I read Scarlett over a decade ago, of course back then I didn't know that fanfiction existed. So in someways this has been circling nearly as long as I've been a fan of Gone With the Wind._

* * *

She awoke to find herself in the same room that she had occupied in the time she had stayed in Charleston. She ran her hands over her body, alarmed to find that she was clad in nothing but her chemise. Someone had undressed her and removed her corset, most likely to give her the air that her lungs so hungrily craved. Her head felt like it had been split open, and her mind tried to reject what she had just witnessed as a terrible nightmare. Her eyes blinked as she began surveying her surroundings.

Ms. Eleanor was immediately at her side, and she looked extremely concerned. "Oh, Scarlett, darling child. Are you feeling all right? Why, you fainted in the middle of the wedding, and everyone is waiting for you to wake up to proceed. The minister said that we should wait and see why you were objecting. Rosemary said that you were merely surprised, but the minster insisted. And of course Rhett was quite distressed. He had no idea where you had gone. He was quite beside himself before we learned where you were from your aunts."

Scarlett stared at her, trying to decide if this was a nightmare or a delusion that her mind had thrust upon her. A single tear slipped from her eye.

Ms. Eleanor patted Scarlett's hand, "Child, I was terribly worried about when you left so abruptly after that sailing accident with Rhett. You very nearly died, and without any warning you just disappeared. You shouldn't have even been out of bed, and yet you traveled out of town. Why, I didn't know where you might have gone. I was worried sick." She gently chastised. "But I am glad to see you here. I am thankful that you seem well enough, even with the fainting spell. I do regret my sons actions. I told him that it was a horrible idea. I tried to dissuade him. But you know Rhett, no one can change his mind."

"I don't understand." Scarlett grimaced in confusion. "But I left a note for you with Rosemary. Pauline wrote me while I was in Savannah to chastise me for not telling you, but I told Rosemary. You were at church and had expected me to stay in bed all day. So I left you a note that said that Rhett would explain and that I love you. I wouldn't have left without letting you know that I went to Savannah with my aunts for Grandfather's birthday." Her hands fiddled with the edge of the covers as her voice took on a defensive tone.

Eleanor gently touched her hands to still them, and then she looked deep into Scarlett's eyes, "I'm sorry dear for the confusion. Rosemary must have misplaced it. I'm sure that it simply slipped her mind."

Scarlett looked away; Rosemary hadn't lost it. She didn't believe that for a moment. But at the same time she didn't want to let Rhett's mother know what Rosemary had done, not for Rosemary's sake but for Eleanor's. She didn't want Eleanor to know that about her daughter, just as Scarlett had never wanted to subject her own mother to her less than kind or right moments.

Eleanor didn't want to acknowledge the mistakes of her only daughter that had hurt her son and in turn her daughter-in-law. "Well, you seem to be fine, darling. I'll just go down and let you rest, and we can finish the wedding. I doubt that you feel up to attending."

Tears formed in Scarlett's eyes. "Please. Ms. Eleanor, don't." Eleanor looked at Scarlett trying to see why Scarlett would be stopping her. "Rhett can't marry Anne."

Eleanor turned back to her former daughter in law, a look of gentle reproof came over her face, "Scarlett, I believe that you truly love him, and I don't really like this idea much better than you do, but I doubt that there is a reason that will stop Rhett from proceeding. When his mind is made up, there is nothing that can change it. He always was that way. In large part, I believe it is the reason that he and his father never made up, because they were just alike in that respect – pigheaded and stubborn to the end."

Scarlett shook her head, the tears spilling onto the bed covers. Her breath coming in panicky gasps, nothing was working out the way that she had thought that it would. "Please. Help me get dressed." She raised up quickly, but the action immediately left her head swimming and she held her hand to her forehead and squinted her eyes to try to regain some balance. "I have to talk to him. He can't do this. He just can't." Scarlett swung her legs over the edge of the bed and tried to stand. But instead she found herself laying once again across the bed when she toppled backwards as the blackness tried to overtake once more. "Please, please Ms. Eleanor. I wouldn't ask this if it wasn't absolutely essential. I must talk to him. I must."

"Scarlett, I don't think that you should be up and about right now. Even trying to rise caused you to nearly faint again. It was quite an ordeal to get you out of that corset. And neither can I let Rhett in here. It simply isn't decent for him to come into your bedroom, now that he is no longer your husband."

But Scarlett persisted, "I have to talk to him. There is something he doesn't know. Something that will change everything." She tried to rise again, but the dizziness was still too strong. "You have to believe me Ms Eleanor. It can't wait. I have to see him. I have to. I will crawl out to him like this if you don't help me. This can't wait." She was sobbing inconsolably. Nothing had turned out as she thought it would. Rhett was marrying someone else. This couldn't be. He couldn't do this to her. This wasn't how it was supposed to work out.

"I hate to do this. It certainly is not proper, but I am truly concerned for your health. And I don't think my son was exaggerating when he explained just how very stubborn that you truly are." She stepped towards the door. "Now cover yourself up, and I'll go get him – though I doubt that he is far away. He was the one that carried you up here." She opened the door, but before slipping out she added, "I'm going to have to be in here with the both of you. Today is Rhett's wedding day, and I don't want anything to hurt his reputation after he has tried so hard to repair it."

Scarlett lay there tears still spilling from her eyes, as her hands caressed the place where her child was growing. She had been so sure of herself -- certain that just looking at her, he would know. He had known her body so well at one time. But things changed. Life never stayed on a simple orderly path. Everything leading up to this moment in her life should have made her totally aware of that reality. But he couldn't be completely gone from her. This couldn't happen.

* * *

After only a few minutes she heard the sound of heavy foot falls in the hallway. She knew beyond question that it was him. She knew the sound of his foot steps from all others; she would know him from anywhere or anyone. The door slowly opened, revealing him in his wedding finery.

"Ahh, Scarlett. You do know how to make an entrance, don't you. You were never one to allow anyone else to stand in the spot light." There was a hint of mockery in his voice as he moved closer to the bed, while his mother stayed right inside the entrance. "Now, Scarlett surely you don't object to me marrying the sweet Miss Hampton, do you? I told you that you should marry Ashley, and then you would have the very life that you always dreamed of." When she made no reply he continued. "Mother said that you needed to talk to me, and that it was so urgent that it must continue to stall the nuptials. Now, Scarlett, what on earth could be that pressing?" He stared down at her laying quietly in the bed, her carefully arranged hair slipping from its pins and escaping around her face.

She took a deep breath and closed her eyes trying to gather the courage to tell him. Finally she opened her eyes again and looked up at him, they were filled with a pleading for him to understand. "I'm with child, Rhett." She whispered, then her gaze dropped to her hands.

"What did you say Scarlett?" He asked incredulously, his gaze following her hands to where they now rested. Yet even in his surprise there was a intelligence thinly veiled that seemed to already be piecing th puzzle together.

Her voice quivered as she repeated herself. "I'm with child, Rhett. I'm in the family way. I'm going to have a baby."

He stared at her with an expression that was both horrified and confused; his mask having been forgotten amidst the waves of shock. "You're pregnant?" He questioned softly.

She nodded hesitantly.

"Then, who may I ask is the child's father?"

She knew that question would be coming. She struggled not to bristle against it and get angry with him. It was in all reality a fairly reasonable question. She knew that he would assume that she had been unfaithful, further justifying his actions against her. "You are." She told him with certainty.

"That's absurd." He told her bitterly, turning for the moment away from her. "If you'll recall we haven't slept in the same bed for quite some time." And yet there had been one time, one mad, hasty coupling on a rain soaked beach in the midst of a gale storm.

"But there was one time, that's all that it seems to take when you and I are concerned. The night of the ship wreck, on the beach, it had to have been then. There is no other explanation." Her voice was soft, and her eyes downcast.

He could have ignored her pleas, followed the logical assumption that she was lying to him and had been unfaithful, but there was an air of certainty around her and the facts exactly matched the scenario his mind had concocted. And one of the things that he had always prided himself on was that he knew a lie, and this wasn't one. "Oh, God. Oh, God. What have I done?" He cried to the heavens, raking his hand through his hair. He knew that she didn't understand. This could kill her. The miscarriage... Dr. Meade had said that carrying another child could prove to be very dangerous for her well being. "You're certain. There is no way that this could be anyone else's child." He asked, though in his eyes there was burning light. He didn't want her death on his hands, his hands were already too stained with innocent blood. And for all of her mistakes, there was still an innocence that surrounded her, that permeated her very being.

"Rhett, I have never been with someone who wasn't my husband. I swear it. I have never... I would never do that to you. I was faithful always to you and to Charlie and Frank as well. You may have thought that I was terrible, but I was a faithful wife, even if I wasn't a good one." She reached her hand out to him, but he pulled away.

"I have to sort things out. I have to figure out what I am going to do, but no matter what, you are not going anywhere. You are not leaving that bed." He commanded.

She nodded, afraid to speak, afraid that she would begin sobbing again. And she was too exhasuted to fight him now. If she needed to fight him,it would be on her term instead of his. And if he baited her, she would not rise to it. Nothing good seemed to come from those encounters. And she didn't know if she would be able to stop, to control herself. She needed to be calm for the child. She had to stay calm. She closed her eyes, trying to find a thought to focus on, but instead the fatigue that had been accosting her won its battle.

Rhett stood watching her, her face so pale set against the ebony waves of her hair. Her breathing slowed, and he knew that she had fallen back asleep. He looked at the form of her body that was buried beneath the heavy blankets that covered the bed. And then he lowered his hand until it rested on her stomach, and even through the covers he could feel the slight swelling. This was no deception. He was going to have a chance to be a father again.

And with her admission, the feelings that he thought that he had rid himself of came rushing back in a tumultuous flow that poured molten fire into his body. The thought of everyone else faded from his mind as he watched her sleeping realizing that this might bring about his worst nightmare. Because of his own actions, he might lose her forever.

TBC


	3. Of Bigamy and Divorce

_Author's Note: Thanks for reviewing! I think you will find this chapter quite interesting, and I doubt that many of you have guessed what my little twist here was. I took exacting care with details so that they are historically accurate. Thanks to Corrin for all of the research that she shared with me to get this right. And I think pretty much everyone will like this sequence of events._

The room erupted when Rhett and Anne solemnly announced that there would not a wedding today. Anne was gracious about it, not shedding a tear or allowing anyone to see her disappointment. If Rhett was delaying the wedding there must certainly be a good reason. But she also knew that Rhett was still in love with his ex-wife.

After everyone else left, Rhett and Eleanor led Anne into the study, where Rhett explained in greater detail that there were circumstances beyond his control that until just now talking to Scarlett that he hadn't even been aware of. "Anne, I'm sorry. But I can't marry you. You deserve someone better than me. I have too much baggage."

Anne looked him square in the face, "I know you still love her. I think that you were wrong to divorce her." There was a boldness in her voice that she had never possessed before.

Rhett's eyes darted from his hand where he was fiddling with one of his cuff links. "No matter the reason, you don't deserve to be treated like this. I wish that I had never dragged you into this mess."

"Rhett, I wanted to be dragged in. But I think that if I had been wiser I would have realized that you would always love her, and there is nothing you can do to change it. Rhett, don't worry about me. I'll be fine." She rose from the chair where she had been directed to sit and placed a soft kiss on his check. "Thank you for being willing to save my reputation. You and I both know that nothing happened, and I know that Edward is sweet on me. He'll take care of me. I have no doubt. I know that he was planning on asking me months ago, but I was so caught up on you that I paid him no heed."

And Anne slipped from the room, with silent tears streaking her face. Rhett remained in his chair trying to wrap his mind around everything that had happened in the past few hours. So he had been her Ashley, it was almost amusing in its irony, if it weren't so tragically sad. He had thought that all of the love that he had once felt for her was gone, but Scarlett's small admission had changed everything instantaneously.

Rhett rushed from the house, with a specific purpose in mind. He didn't know if it could be done, but if there was a chance, he would. He didn't want his child born with the label "bastard". He wanted his child to have everything that he could give it. And he would find a way to do just that. He sprinted down the streets until he arrived at his long time acquaintance, a former friend of his father, Wade Hampton's home, the man for whom his step son was named. The man was likely to be the next governor if the Democrats succeeded in the next years election. And Hampton was educated enough that it was likely that he would find a way to reverse the divorce. If anyone could do it, he would be the one. He could simply say that he had been wrong, that Scarlett had not abandoned him. Surely he would understand. And if all else failed, then Rhett would move on and approach his friends that were more influential on the national level.

Scarlett sat on the bed. Her dizziness had subsided now that she wasn't restricted by a corset and she had had a chance to recover from the shock of seeing Rhett in the middle of marrying another woman. She had no idea of what she would do now. Nothing made sense, even if Rhett did know about the child. People would obviously know that Rhett had divorced her, that she was with child and divorced. She would never be able to hold her head up again in this town, or in the whole of the South. It was too disgraceful. And her child, their child would forever live with that stigma attached to it.

She looked at the kind face of Rhett's mother who sat in a chair near an open window watching her. "Scarlett, child, how are you feeling?" She asked softly.

"Tired." Scarlett replied. "I don't think I was as tired the other times. At least I don't remember being so tired and weak. But perhaps the journey over can be blamed for that. I don't think that I felt this way though."

"Then you should rest." She urged gently.

"What's going to happen to me, Ms Eleanor? What's going to happen to my child?" Scarlett quizzed uneasily. The strain of the day giving her face a pinched expression.

"Rhett will figure something out, if I know my son. It's just lucky that you stopped the wedding before Rhett married Anne. There would have been no going back." She paused for a moment before continuing, "Why didn't you come and tell Rhett as soon as you found out.?"

"It isn't as if I waited until the child had already been born and was walking around and talking, goodness I'm not even far enough along to show really. I was already on my way to Ireland when I realized why I had been feeling poorly. I couldn't exactly jump ship and swim to shore. I only wanted to see my grandmother once and the land that my father talked of so often, and then I was going to come straight back here, which I did. And I had no idea that Rhett would be able to get a divorce. I was told it was impossible. And I thought Rhett would come and get me in Savannah. I was waiting for him there. And I was only going to be gone for such a short time. I didn't know when I left. He divorced me before I even knew that I was with child." Explanations tumbled from her lips, but then she stopped. "I very nearly made a horrible mess of things without any effort. I'm sorry miss Eleanor. I am so sorry."

"Hush, Child. You need your rest. And thankfully you came back in time to prevent further complications. It will all work out. Now just rest."

Scarlett turned wary eyes upon her former mother-in-law as she settled back into the comfortable nest of covers on the bed.

Wade Hampton stared at the paperwork before him. "Is this a joke? Do you take me for a fool?" He asked. But seeing the look of confusion on Rhett's face he continued. "I don't know where you got this foolish piece of trash, but it is certainly not an official document. This isn't worth the paper that it was printed on. I don't know who printed this up for you, but it certainly is not valid. It isn't even possible. There are very specific conditions and terms for the issuance of a divorce decree. You certainly would not be granted a divorce when your wife had only been missing for a month's time. I don't see that you proved any of the other conditions. You are not insane or an idiot are you. Surely you didn't take this to be valid. No matter how much money you posses or what power you wield, you did not have grounds for a divorce. You do not even have the authority to petition for divorce in a state in which you are not a resident. You wife would have had to be the petitioner. And she would have had to been present to begin such an action."

"Are you certain?" Rhett stared at him, startled and amazed. "You mean I nearly married a woman when I was still married to Scarlett?"

"Yes, indeed, beyond question. A divorce, no matter how smoothly it proceeds, takes at least a year. You are a fool if you thought that you could marry another woman, what less than 4 months after you were with your wife. You are still married. You don't have the grounds to divorce her, and since a child came from the union, an annulment would be impossible. You would have become a bigamist if you had proceeded."

"Scarlett..." he breathed softly, like a chanting song of worship and adoration. It was strange to know that he wasn't free of her, not did he want to be free. A child, his child had changed everything. But somehow in the intervening time she had changed as well. Perhaps it was simply that she had grown up, but also she had looked so tired, too tired to fight with him, which certainly was not like her. But somehow this child seemed like an all too clear dictate from a higher power. They were supposed to be together.

"Scarlett? Did you say her name was Scarlett? That's such an unusual name?" He paused for a moment, as if distracted by things long gone. "It seems as though I've heard it before. Perhaps I know of her. Who were her parents?" He asked, as he stared at the papers in front of him.

"Her maiden name was Scarlett O'Hara; her mother was Ellen Robillard of the Savannah Robillards. But she was widowed twice before we married. Her husbands were Charles Hamilton and Frank Kennedy." Rhett told him.

"Charles Hamilton, you say? Charles Hamilton, of the Atlanta Hamiltons?" At Rhett's nod he continued. "Then I have heard of her indeed. No wonder I remember the name. It was my hand that informed her that she was a widow. She was one of the first that I had to write to at the beginning of the war. I served with her husband's father, and then with her late husband. Charles was such a respectful young man; It's a shame that he died so quickly. I believe that they married only days before he left to join my company. He was so worried about her when he finally realized that he was dying. He had had so many hopes and plans, as did so many boys. She was quite young if I remember Charles's comments about her, and quite charming. "

"Yes, my Scarlett is quite charming. She is as charming now as she ever was." There was a smile in his eyes as he thought of her, for as infuriating as she could be the thought of her brought a smile to his lips. "What do I need to do now?"

"You have nothing to do. There is no paperwork. Nothing. You were never divorced. Burn the decrees. They are rubish – nothing more than some clerks idea of amusement."

"Thank you. You don't know how much I appreciate this news."

"You will take care of her. I know that in all honesty that it is none of my business, but since Charles was an orphan, I feel a strong pull to make sure that she is taken care of."

"Sir you can know that I do everything to protect her. I made mistakes, but I will protect her." Rhett promised as he rushed out the office.

He opened the door slowly, unsure of the reception he would receive from her, but the room was completely silent. He looked at the bed and was able to see a slight mound revealing that she was still laying down. His mother looked up from her seat across the room, where the sunlight spilled in on her needlework.

"Has she been sleeping this entire time, Mother?"

"No, she woke for a short time, but the dear child seems completely worn out." Then as if remembering the details of their situation, "Rhett, you can't be in her bedroom. You need to leave." His mother cautioned gently.

"I'm not leaving." He told her stubbornly. "You are misinformed mother. The divorce was a mistake."

"I did try to warn you, but what was done is done." There was a familiar tone in her voice, a tone that Rhett had known growing up all too well.

"No mother, you don't understand. There was no divorce. The divorce could never go through. If Scarlett hadn't arrived and so dramatically managed to halt my wedding, I would have been guilty of bigamy. The divorce was a clerical error or work a clerical joke, and would never have held up in a court. Anne already said that she thought that Edward Cooper would have already offered to take her hand in marriage if she had mooned over me for so long."

"Rhett, that is ridiculous! What will you tell your friends? What shall I tell my friends?" She fussed.

"I assume mother that the truth is the only possibility." He replied evenly. She stared at him in amazement and confusion as he continued. "Be consoled mother by the fact that since the divorce did not occur that I am still welcome at the St. Cecelia Ball. I would have never been able to attend another. Anne would have been permanently ostracized for marrying me, a divorcee. She is better off without me."

Eleanor nodded. "You are most likely correct. I am aware of Edward's interest in her. And Charleston is not very fond of that particular action. I am glad that it isn't true, but I still regret the damage that this matter will have caused for all of us."

"Mother, can I have some time alone with her. I need to undo some very serious damage, if it can be repaired."

"I am certain that you do." Eleanor responded as she rose gracefully from the chair and made her way to the door. "Rhett, I know that you have always told me how strong she is, but I am concerned that your earlier assessments weren't completely accurate. Do be kind. She looks very fragile to me."

"Thank you, mother." He told her softly as he slipped closer to the bed where Scarlett was still soundly asleep. He bit off a retort of how looks could be deceiving because something told him that he had over estimated Scarlett on this one. She did indeed look fragile as porcelain. He sat gently upon the bed as he heard the soft thud of the door shutting, separating them from the rest of the world.

She looked so vulnerable in her sleep. The pressures of life and the passage of time had not left her unmarred. Faint inky smudges had settled under her eyes, bearing testament to her ill health or sleepless nights or both. But if lack of sleep had been an issue, she was certainly making up for lost time.

For one of the few times in his life, Rhett Butler was uncertain. He did not want to disturb her much needed slumber, nor did her know what he was going to say or do when she did awake. He had been a fool to think that waving money in an official's face was truly the answer to his problems. But he had been so desperate to break free from her hold on him, that he had resorted to things that he had only mocked others for. He had desperately wanted to prove to himself that he had broken his addiction to her, that he had freed himself. But his freedom was short-lived. For here was again back at her side.

He remembered those moments when he had left her his letter and the showy flowers, as he had watched her sleeping in a bed that they had lain in together, still pale from sickness from their terrible ordeal. It had taken all of his strength to resist the impulse to take her into arms and protect her and crumble against the onslaught of her affections. But instead he had run, as he always had when his feelings for her became too intense, too vibrant against the blandness of life around them. And yet here he was again, knowing that escape would now and forever be impossible.

He slowly removed his boots and climbed into the bed beside her, laying his hand gently over her abdomen, the place where a new life had taken root. He lay quietly watching, frightened and dismayed at the thinness that had so quickly come upon her. It had been just over three months since he'd held her, but she had certainly lost weight. She was fragile indeed. And he gently stroked a tendril of hair that had escaped from its confines, and he wrapped it around his finger treasuring the silky texture of it.

Her hair had always been a thing of fascination to him.

TBC


	4. Of Surprises and Revelations

Author's Note: thanks for all of the reviews! Here is the next chapter. Hope that you all enjoy! Christmas is rapidly approaching, so have a verry Merry Christmas!

He was awakened by the sound of her whimpers, the sounds that he knew by heart. She was weakly tossing her head side to side, her face revealing the apprehension that she was feeling. She was having another nightmare, like the many nightmares that had plagued her for the entire span of their marriage. Indeed the last time that he had comforted her after one of these nightmares had been at the Landing. But this time it seemed different, the words spilling forth in terror were not the same words that she had once uttered.

"Rhett!" she cried. "Rhett, don't go!" She tossed fitfully. "Oh, Rhett." She continued calling out his name, until he gathered her in his arms and began smoothing her hair away from her face.

"Shhh, darling. I'm right here." He brushed his lips over her hair, trying to offer comfort to her troubled sleep.

Her eyes flew open at the sound of his voice, obviously startled to see him. She stared at him for a long moment, almost as if she were waiting for him to vanish, and when he didn't she spoke. "How can you be here? Aren't you married now?" The bitterness in her voice clearly revealing the depth of the anger and hurt that she was feeling.

"Yes, I am married," He chuckled derisively, taking the situation as an amusement, "but not to the person that you assume."

"What on earth do you mean?" Her eyes narrowed into thin slits as she glowered at him as she waited for his explanation.

"I mean, my pet," he addressed her as he brought her hand to his lips, "that I am married to you."

At this she laughed. "Don't be ridiculous. I received the letter with the divorce decree. You divorced me the day that I sailed for Ireland. We are divorced." There was a finality in her tone, a bleakness to her expression that cloaked her in sadness. "Wait. You didn't have your minister come and marry us while I was sleeping, did you?" She looked at him quizzically, knowing what he would do to protect his child. But when he did not reply to the affirmative, she responded with "We're divorced, it doesn't matter."

"As I believed as well..." He replied smoothly. "But unfortunately, or now as I see it,fortunately, it was not legally possible for me to divorce you, certainly not under the terms that I pursued. It was nothing more than a farce or masquerade." His eyes glittered with amusement, "We are still married."

She snorted and a look of triumph flickered across her face. "So I was right, you couldn't divorce me." For a moment that victory glittered upon her face like a twinkling star, but then just as suddenly the triumph came it disappeared with her anguish as the full reality of the situation seemed to hit her with the force of a physical blow. "But you still tried to divorce me, making us both believe that you had succeeded. How could you do that to me? How could you do that to someone that you said that you once loved? There was no kindness in that. Good God, there wasn't even any pity. I am the mother of your child... even if that child was gone.... how could you Rhett?" She tried to compose herself with several deep breaths before continuing. "And what do we do now? Go back to how it was before, live in that horrible detached state we were in, like cool impersonal strangers. No thank you." She told him hotly. "Or like it was after you left, and I lost an entire year trying to drown my pain with ever increasing amounts of alcohol. I can't go back to that either. I'd rather not have you than live like that."

Despite all of their varied emotions, they seemed to be in agreement on this issue, "No, I can't live like that again, either. I don't know quite what we are going to do. But we will figure it out somehow." He picked up her hand and held it, gently caressing the back of her hand with his thumb. "We will handle it. We don't really have another choice." The gaze of his eyes lowered until they were even with her mid-section.

"My life has never been filled with choices that were pleasant to make." She said despondently.

Always on the defensive where she was concerned, he quickly jumped to his own conclusion as to the meaning of her statement. "Yes and we know that you would have chosen Ashley instead of me or either of your other two unfortunate husbands."

Scarlett began to sputter out a defense, but Rhett raised his hand to stop her. "Before you defend yourself, I know that you say that your allegiance has been switched to me." He looked at her suspiciously. "All of a sudden it occurred to me, did you only get pregnant to capture me and force me to stay with you. It is the oldest trick in the book. And I do believe that you mentioned that Dr. Meade recommended it. Was that your plan all along?"

She narrowed her eyes, glaring daggers through him. "As I recall, it was you who took me on that beach. And certainly, as horrible as you think I am, I must be the cause of the storm that came upon us. I am the all powerful Scarlett. Indeed I even have power over the weather. I enjoyed facing death just to see if we happened to survive, you might happen to prove that you still could. And then I would have a child. Oh certainly, I risked death just on the off chance that you might make love to me. " Her anger at him was growing at this latest barb. "I was on the brink of death, and yet you had to prove that we survived. You are the one who told me that Dr. Meade feared that another child could kill me. You knew it all alone, and yet you still forced yourself upon me. It is you that deserves the blame here. It is not as if I am strong enough to stop you if you so desire me."

"But that was certainly your plan in coming here, wasn't it? Don't lie to me Scarlett. I will always know." He threatened.

"Are you really that much of a fool in your old age? Do you think that I would have left here if I had known? Do you honestly think I would have allowed you to think that you had won if that had been my plan? I know what a fool you are for babies. I didn't leave here even knowing that a child had been conceived, let alone specifically plotting against you. You are a fool if you believe that." She turned her nose up at his accusations.

"Well regardless, no matter if this was a trap, You are staying here for the meanwhile. I won't risk my child in your hands." He sneered.

She sucked in a deep breath. "I'll leave. I'll find a way to leave, and you will never see me again." She told him with a tremor in her voice that betrayed her bravado.

"You won't leave. You and I both know it. You are staying here in this house until my child is born." He told her coolly. "You know I won't let you go, not while you are carrying my child."

"This is my child. It is certainly not "your child" alone. You aren't the one who has to carry it for months. You aren't the one who has been ill for two months because of it. You aren't the one that will have to give up your life hiding away because of this pregnancy, whose body will distort and stretch until I look like I'm going to explode. You won't be the one having to endure horrible pain because of birthing this child. You wouldn't have even known that this child existed if I hadn't come to tell you out of a desire to give my child the best in life. You are the one who divorced me before I even realized that I was expecting. Who didn't even seem to consider that there might be a consequence to our encounter on the beach."

She was furious, all of the hope that had bloomed in her heart had been replaced by the anger at what he had done to her. For he had wounded her in ways that no other human ever would. He had broken her heart. "This was all a mistake." She started to rise from the bed, with the haughtiness befitting a young queen. But Rhett stopped her with a firm but gentle hand. "I was wrong to ever let you know." She seethed through clenched teeth. "I was wrong to come back here. I wish that I had just let you marry Anne. And then you could have babies with her. You'll just try and take this baby like you took Bonnie."

"Can you blame me for removing a child from your unfeeling and neglectful presence? I wanted my child to only know love, unlike the treatment that Wade and Ella had at your hands. You couldn't be bothered to be a mother to them, why would I expect you to be any more of a mother to my child?

"You never gave me a chance to be a good mother to Bonnie, and it isn't as if my life was a bed of roses when Wade was little, or even when Ella was born. You are just as at fault with Ella's raising as I am. You married me when she was little more than a year old."

His eyes snapped and glittered dangerously. "Don't expect to be given freedoms when you choose to throw accusations in my face. I am in control here." His words were low and brittle as he knelt beside her before rising and sweeping out of the room with all of the triumph of a Crown Prince Scarlett stared at the door that slammed behind him, knowing that he would not let her escape. With no other outlet for her frustration, she took one of the pillows and tossed it at the door. "I hate you!" She cried, as tears of frustration and disappointment and hurt swelled in her eyes.


	5. Of Fear and Loss

_Author's Note:_

_Thanks to everyone who has read and reviewed! I hope that you all enjoy this next installment. I'm certain that I won't update again until after Christmas! Other writers' where are you? I feel like I am the only one that is updating! I NEED MORE!_

_And oh, Merry Christmas and a happy new year!_

A servant appeared in the doorway bearing a tray piled with all kinds of rich, decadent foods that Rhett knew she loved, but the food had no appeal to her. In some measure it looked as if Rhett was trying to ply her with her favorite foods as he had once plied her with alcohol on their honeymoon. But it was always for his gain. And there was little of it that she could stomach. Her condition relied upon the simplest, most bland of foods, and Rhett had not considered that. Though she had already come through the worst stages of morning sickness, still some foods sent her stomach into doing back flips. The pungent smells spiraling up from the tray were not kind to her senses. She pushed the tray away, fighting against the bile rising in her throat. She rose carefully and walked to the window, breathing in deeps gulps of air that flowed in. She held her hand over her mouth trying to keep from being sick again, though the action in and of itself was futile.

She couldn't take her mind off of the fight that she had had earlier with Rhett. She was filled with rage at his cool off-handed manner and at his horrible accusations. How could he have said such things, and yet these were not the worst things that he had said. Those words still clung in her memory, suspended in time and space. Her heart wrenched at the thought of enduring more heart break at his hands. Perhaps returning to him had been a mistake. It was obvious that he had no idea what he had put her through. He still didn't love her. And she knew that the only thing she could do was have this baby, not that she would consider doing anything that would harm this child. But the thought of living such a stiff and stilted life caused the fear to rise in her chest. It was as if she was falling back in time to that horrible period right after Bonnie's death when it seemed that even the sun itself had been extinguished. Her heart beat faster and her breathing quickened. She couldn't quite catch her breath now. The situation unveiling before her sending waves of panic through her.

And even as she tried to calm the queasiness that the scent of the food had caused, the dizziness came swirling back around her along with pains in her abdomen. She stumbled back to the bed, fighting with all of her strength to stay upright. The bed was not far from the window, and so with a great deal of effort she was able to find her way to it. She laid down on it curling in a ball, willing for the pain to stop. She couldn't lose another child, but inside she knew that that must be what was occurring. The pain was too great for her to think of it being anything other than that. Hot tears poured from her eyes as she moaned from the pain. "Please, no" She whispered as a prayer to something greater than herself. Someone had to hear her prayer. She began chanting the prayers from her childhood that she was certain that had forgotten. If only God would save her child...

She lay there crying quietly murmuring softly until she felt gentle hands brushing the hair from her face. "Scarlett.... Scarlett... Answer me." Rhett's voice demanded, and even through the pain she could hear his fear and anguish. "What's wrong?" He could do nothing but take in her cringing form that was huddled into a ball on the bed. "Mama!" He bellowed out.

She opened her eyes slowly, and it took a moment for her eyes to come back in focus. She shook her head and sobbed. He sat down on the bed beside her and took her in his arms. "Scarlett. Is there something wrong? Is there something wrong with the baby?"

"I don't know," She whispered in a voice laced with fear and agony. "I can't lose my baby. I can't lose my child." Her mind was nothing but an indistinct mass of pain and fear and hurt. It was a bottomless abyss that was pulling her under.

"I'm getting a doctor." Rhett said, although it was to no one in particular. But his mother had answered his summons and appeared looking worried and upset followed by several of the servants, peering in around her trying to see what the commotion was about.

"Oh, dear, what is going on?" She asked with a voice filled with deep concern as she took in the sites in the room.

"Send for the doctor, mama. I think something is wrong." Rhett told her without taking his eyes off of Scarlett's ashen face that was contorted with terror, and heartache and pain..

"Hold me." Scarlett begged him softly. There was unbridled fear in her voice, and he could not resist to answer her plea. The heated words of earlier paled at the pain and fear that she was feeling.

He took her in his arms, cradling her so that her head rested against his chest. He slowly ran his fingers through her hair, which had completely come out of its pins. It was soft and silky between his fingers, and he knew that if he were to lift it to his nose that it would no doubt carry the same scent that it always had. "Shhh, it's going to be all right. You and the baby are going to be fine. There is nothing to worry about." He offered soothingly, knowing that his words were hollow and without meaning. But at the moment he would have said just about anything to take the fear from her eyes. He would say anything to calm her in hopes that his words might be proved true.

His words seemed to slowly soothe her, as did the comfort of his arms, and her body began to relax. The expression of pain faded from her face, and her breathing slowed. "Scarlett, are you feeling better?" He asked gently.

"Mmmmm, yes. It doesn't hurt so much anymore." She replied groggily.

Then the door opened, and Ms. Eleanor ushered in a gray-haired older man. "This is the doctor. Doctor Vincent."

Rhett nodded, and moved Scarlett so that she was lying flat on the bed so that the doctor could examine her. And Rhett slipped outside the door, leaving Scarlett in the room with his mother and the doctor. He impatiently paced back and forth in front of the hall for what seemed like an eternity,waiting to see if the baby would make it or if there was something else wrong that he had missed.

Finally the door opened, and the doctor beckoned him to return. He informed him in a grave voice that "I need to tell you, that your wife's condition is very fragile at best. She seems to have had the vapors which could have cause a miscarriage, with all of this stress she probably should have. But amazingly, she did not miscarry, and I have hopes that she will be fine and still be able to carry to term."

Rhett nodded. "She isn't prone having vapors. Of course she has gone through more today than anyone should in a lifetime. She should never have become pregnant. I know that. Dr. Meade said that after the miscarriage that carrying another child might kill her." He bent his head in shame.

Scarlett's intense gaze bore into his bent head. And he raised his eyes to meet hers. "She was so ill. I don't think that she really knew how serious her injuries were. She so very nearly died. And now... Oh, God, I've killed her." He moaned.

"I believe that both mother and child can survive, but care must be taken to avoid stressful situations. And I advise that she needs to stay in bed for the majority of time. I will be back to check on her in a weeks time. I would advise you both to take great care in this situation though. And please call for me if there are any other complications. In my opinion, this was most likely stress related. Just keep her calm and with little activity, and she and the child will be fine." Rhett sighed an internal sigh of relief at this assurance.

The doctor and Eleanor left the room as Rhett made his way to Scarlett's side. He lifted her hand to his lips, and smiled wistfully. "You gave me quite the scare, my pet."

Scarlett looked up at him. "Dr. Meade told me that the only way to save you after Bonnie's death was to have another baby. He must have felt that I was capable of bearing a child, or he wouldn't have suggested it. You are worried for nothing. This just has been an eventful day. And I was upset because of our fight, and the smell of the food was making me ill." She rambled on, trying to soothe the worry lines from his face, even as she tried to quiet the voice that urged her to hurt him as he had hurt her.

"You do understand that you are not going to be going anywhere for a while, don't you? I'm not going to let you out of my sight." He told her with a smile.

"I'm not going to do anything to chance loosing this child, Rhett. I want this baby." She stared at him imploringly, needing him to believe her. "We have to change how we are acting. We have to change or else we are only getting ready for more heart break and sorrow."

In her words there was an unspoken secret that he suddenly understood. "You did want the baby we lost, didn't you?" He asked, now seeing with certainty that she had. "You lied because I insulted you, I taunted you. And yet I took that from you."

His words gave her pause, she remained silent for a moment before responding quietly. "I did. I loved that baby, Rhett. I shouldn't have taken your bait. I shouldn't have tried to slap you, to lunge at you like that. If I could have only controlled my temper for once in my life, then maybe our lives wouldn't have taken such a downward spiral." She paused for a moment, her eyes down cast. "Maybe Bonnie would still be with us."

"No. Scarlett. We can't think like that. It will eat you alive."

"Like its eating at you right now?" She asked gently.

"It was my fault. If I had only taken the time to examine the look on your face, or if I could have even for a moment kept my mouth shut, then...." He looked into her eyes. "This doesn't really matter now. It isn't doing either of us any good. Besides I thought you hated to look back."

For some reason this comment startled her. "You're right, I do hate to look back. I have ever since the war began and took my life from me, but perhaps I've grown up. Sometimes I think that you must look back to understand where you made your mistakes. And as dark as my life grew, I needed something to look back on and have peace. That was the only time in my life that there was peace. There has been no peace since then."

The look on her face was so lost and remote that he could not help but take her in his arms. Even if it was nothing but false hope, she needed something to hold on to, something to help her weather the storm. And so he sat beside her, still offering her solace and shelter, for he was the one who had put her in this position. When he had taken her on the beach, it had been nothing but a raw celebration of survival. But it had become more, and he had succumbed to long suppressed flow of emotions that he had tried in vain to forget as their bodies had danced in a dance that went beyond time and reason. And now they might both pay the price for that dance. It might be the dance that ended them both. For he could not live with himself if his unbridled lust and victory were the end of her.

Note: The term for what Scarlett had happen in modern terms is a threatened abortion. It's when someone has symptoms of the beginning of a miscarriage, but the child is not lost.


	6. Of Moving on and Together

_Author's Note: Thanks to everyone who has been reading. I do love my reviews! I don't know what has happened... but it seems that suddenly there are very few people that are taking the time to review. Remember readers, that if you only read, you aren't really letting the author know if you want them to continue. I would be a liar if I said that I don't care about reviews. I would never go so far as to say if you don't review then I won't post, but remember the quicker an author gets reviews, the more quickly they have a desire to update. And this message is not for my benefit alone. This is for all of the other fanfic writers as well. We all loved a little praise for what we do. _

_And special thanks to Merovia for messaging me today and reminding me that I need to post again. And as always thanks to Corrin. I know so much more historical detail because of her._

She had long since fallen asleep, but sleep had not claimed him. Ever since she had disappeared sleep had never come easily. As was now the normal and predictable course of his life, try as he might, he could find no rest. "No rest for the wicked," he thought wryly. The day had been all too crowded with actions and altercations that if anyone had possessed the foresight to warn him of 24 hours prior that he would have laughed them off as being adle-brained and fools. And yet the proof was here in his arms, laying limply against him, her warm breath a balm upon his weary soul. Only when she was sleeping could he allow his heart to open, his emotions for his wife were in her lucid presence meticulously guarded from her knowledge. But now while she slept, he allowed himself to relish the feeling of holding her. He softly stroked the ebony hair that pooled against his chest as he watched her breathing. This certainly was not how he had expected to be spending this evening.

Leave it to Scarlett to interrupt his wedding in the explosive manner in which she had-- the only fitting entrance for the woman that he thought he had divorced. It seemed that they were destined to be together, their lives forever and inexplicably intertwined. What had possessed him to think that marrying Anne was a feasible idea escaped him at the moment. Marrying the poor girl was trapping her in a loveless marriage like he had been trapped with Scarlett. She would never have his heart. His heart had long since been claimed and stolen from him. Had he hoped that she would never understand that there was a passion missing, that his soul was never fully involved? It was a bleak existence to subject her to.

He replayed the moment when he had heard Scarlett's strangled cry of shock and indignation and turned to the sound, knowing it like he knew the inlets and small tributaries off of Charleston's waters. He had heard make that sound on several other occasions before, such as when he ripped all of the trim and bows off of her favorite dress because it looked like something that Belle would outfit her girls in. But there was most assuredly an intonation that had not been present in other moments. He had taken her by surprise, so stunned by surprise and disbelief that he world was spinning. If he hadn't understood the level of her surprise by the noise she made, her fainting episode left no doubt in his mind.

She was indelibly a part of himself. It had been a mere three months since he had last seen her, but something had changed. She had changed. There was a maturity that had forced the petals of her youth to fall away, revealing a woman more enticing than he realized was possible for any woman. He was drawn to her even before he quite realized that she was about to faint – Scarlett who never fainted, who had worked long hours under the relentless Georgia sun. But she was about to faint and his heart lept in his throat as he rushed to her side even as she began to weave and sway before limply falling. His heart burned at the thought of harm coming to her. She always had affected him differently than other women. He had reached out to catch her and amazingly succeeded before she touched the ground. All else had faded into the background, leaving the limp body in his arms as the only thing that had seemed real to him, such a small, finite center to his universe. How could his world continue without her if something had happened?

Her face had been so pale, ivory white against the carefully pinned, swirling darkness of her hair. Her breathing had been shallow and something needed to be done. His mind recounted the night in the churning waters under the hull of the boat when he had forcibly cut her corset from her body. She did always wear it too tightly laced for common sense. Yet the notion that there was something about her that had changed was not to be shaken. That the woman he held in his arms was not quite the same as the woman that he had last seen just as pale laying in the very bed that he knew that he would be taking her to now sounded in his head repetitively.

"Mother." He had cried out. "Send for a doctor. Something is wrong. I've only seen her faint one other time in all of the time that I've known her." An brief image of holding her in the jail cell all those years ago after she had fainted flashed through his mind. Then he mentally he added another incident, a moment that he had not seen, but only been told about. She had fainted at Bonnie's death.

His mother had quickly risen from her place amidst the shocked audience who had gathered to celebrate a wedding that was never to see completion at the urgency in his voice. The people gathered there had definitely gotten more of a show than they had ever dreamed they would be seeing.

Rhett had swiftly carried Scarlett up the stairs and laid her on the bed that he could think of as belonging to none other than Scarlett, and for a moment, it was almost as if the intervening months had been his imagination, that it was February once again. Time did seem to stand still when she was near. But her breathing was still a struggle, and so he yelled again for his mother, who he knew had followed him up the stairs. "Mother, you have to cut her out of that corset. She isn't breathing right. She isn't getting enough air." And as he paced about he muttered, "Damn her vanity. She has to still play the belle. Thinks she still needs to be the center of attention, always. Has to have the smallest waist, damn the damage that it may cause."

Eleanor had ordered him from the room, and he had been left to pace back and forth before the door, ignoring those assembled in the Parlor for his wedding. Why had she shown up today of all days? It was almost as if God himself was trying to prevent Rhett from being happy.

And then when his mother had brought him back into the room announcing that his former wife was awake. Scarlett's news had shocked him, and yet it all made sense. It was the thing that had changed about her. There was the glow about her the he remembered from when she was pregnant with Ella and Bonnie. The same glow he had once ignored which had resulted in tragic consequences. The child was his. He knew without asking, although that didn't stop him from questioning her for no other reason than spite. But her ashen face, her weary resignation to his presence, set him at odds with the world that he knew. This was not the Scarlett that he was accustomed to seeing and living with. He wanted to pinch himself to see if he had imagined her, but he had not. She was there in living flesh, holding out the hope and promise of happiness that they had never really know together.

Some of the day still did not seem real to him. It negated the last several months of his life. The divorce had never happened. How odd to know that now after two months of certainty that Scarlett's hold on him had been shattered that it was still as ironclad and firm as ever. But she would always have a hold on him, even if God forbid she were to die. She had marked his soul and claimed him as her own without even knowing it. From that day at Twelves Oaks he had been branded for life.

There were so many moments of the time that they had spent together that he wished that he could change, even though he knew that the thought itself was futile. There had been so many missed chances, so many times when had he only opened up and allowed her to learn to love him, then things might have been vastly different. His heart would not have a gapping hole where his Bonnie's love should still reside.

Now that there was little choice other than to go back to the life that they had shared, he needed to analyze the mistakes that they had made. He needed to correct those problems, or this time would be no better than the last. And his heart could not take living that life again. But tomorrow offered a promise of a life greater than the life they had lived to their point.


	7. Of Decisions and Declarations

_Author's Note: Here is the next update, and yes we do finally get to see a new day. some things have changed in this story, but only in my mind because no one else got to see them :). _

He woke slowly the next morning, feeling in his bones every minute of every year of the life that he had lived. Sometime in the night Scarlett had curled her body around his, molding herself against him. Her hair fell in a wild tangled mass for she had not taken the time to braid it as she had always done during their marriage. Her small hands had gathered his shirt into her tight clutches that had fallen limp as her sleep deepened. It seemed that for once her sleep was peaceful -- that she was finally resting. For even the circles under her eyes seemed lighter in the morning light and a faint blush was blossoming on her cheeks.

"Scarlett." He whispered softly. "Scarlett."

"Mmmmm..." She mumbled in response as she stirred at the sound of his voice.

"Scarlett, I'm going to go down to breakfast. What would you like me to send up?" He prodded knowinf how well it worked when he appealed to her stomach.

"No. I want to go down for breakfast." She complained in between yawns, still fighting against the sleep that had ensnared her.

"No. You need to stay in this bed." He cautioned gently, remembering all to well the horror of the previous night.

"I just want to go downstairs. You can torment me all you want later, but I hate eating in bed. It makes me remember the time after the miscarriage. I hate playing the part of the convalescent." She argued, even as her mannerisms reminded him of a barely awake other dark haired beauty, whose lips had formed a pout identical to the one on his wife's face at this very moment. He tried to shake off the memory.

"I will handcuff you to the bed if I must to keep you here. I don't want you over exerting yourself. Do I need to remind you of what could have happened yesterday, what nearly did happen, what still could happen if you don't take very good care of yourself?" He added.

"I'm not an invalid, Rhett Butler. I had a very surprising day yesterday, if you will recall. It's not as if I'm going to be walking in on my husband marrying another woman today, will I?" Her eyebrows raised quizzically. "Besides, I don't want to stay cooped up in here the entire duration of my pregnancy." His face was still as impassive as always, so instead of spitting venom she moved on to exercising her charms on him. "Oh, Rhett, you can coddle me all that you want, just let me go down for breakfast."

"Fine." he offered. "But don't think that you are going out of this house other than to the back veranda until after this child is born."

"That's fine, I've already been out longer than I should have. And I shouldn't be wearing a corset now, at this stage of my condition. I can't exactly go out without that, and besides it's not good for the baby." She smiled triumphantly, feeling as if she had won the victory that she had wanted to win,the only one that she knew that she had any chance of winning.

"It's not as if you ever put your child's health before your vanity before." He drawled, before realizing how cruel he sounded. "I'm sorry. I'm not going to do this to you again."

She looked at him warily, not trusting his apology, for his words had always possessed a cutting vicious edge to them. "I'm not going to play this game any longer Rhett. I'm too tired of it."

"You're right. I'm getting too old for this. It's just become a habit, as ingrained as my cigars and liquor. I guess it's time that I get it under control." He returned.

"Yes, it is. You know you weren't the only one that was hurt from the destruction of our marriage. You never gave me much of a chance to learn to love you, with your constant needling and maliciousness. I might have learned to love you and saved myself from marrying Frank." She responded with a braveness that trembled expectantly, as if it were on the verge of dissolution.

There was a sharpness is eyes, a warning that she was treading on thin ice. "I know that I wasn't alone in the destruction either." He said as he rose from the bed. "I'm going downstairs. I'll send up a maid to help you get dressed."

She watched him as he left, watched as the door swung shut behind him. She pulled the covers up closer around her, suddenly cold without his warmth at her side. And she waited for one of the maids to arrive to ready her for the day.

* * *

"Rhett, I don't know that Scarlett is ready to face the lions just yet. I know that what happened cannot be helped, but your name is as black now as it ever was. All of the repair that you did to your reputation was ruined with this recent disgrace." Eleanor softly chastised.

He rubbed his hands through his hair as he looked at her. "I know mother, I'm not surprised. But it wasn't as if I could have done anything else, other than not offer to marry Anne. Of course, that would have ruined me as well." He added.

"Yes, but Rhett, I don't think that Scarlett should set foot outside this house, unless you plan on returning to Atlanta. If that is the plan, then you need to be leaving soon. She can't hide her condition much longer, nor should she be moved much. She is much more fragile than you ever let on, I'm afraid."

"You're right mother. I'm going to have make some decisions quickly. I'll have to talk to Scarlett, but I don't think that we can stay here. It would be nothing short of a disaster." Rhett's voice held an echo of emotion that had been long absent.

"I don't know why you thought that you could be rid of her. She is in your blood. I can see very clearly. You love her. You've loved her since the War. Love like that doesn't just disappear."

"Yes, I have. I have loved her from the moment I first held her in my arms. But Mother, I don't think that you understand all of the heartache that we put ourselves through."

"Don't you understand, Rhett. Neither of you knew how to grieve, and instead of helping each other you lashed out and attacked. Do you remember when I lost your sister? You were only a mite of a thing when she was born, but you adored her. You called her 'sissie'." There was a far oof look in Eleanor's eyes as she reminisced over a painful moment in her history. "Rhett, I know what it is like to lose a child. But I also know that when Bonnie died, you lost more than a child, you lost your wife as well. I don't quite know what transpired before I got to Atlanta, or for that matter most of what transpired between the two of you once I arrived. But I do know that you were both hurting, hurting so badly that you couldn't see straight."

"...Mother.." Rhett interrupted.

"No. You are going to let me have my say. Didn't I raise you to respect your elders and not interrupt them?" But even with the chastisement she reached out and patted his hand. "Scarlett, despite words to the contrary, wanted nothing more than for you to reach out and hold her and tell her things would be all right. I don't know that I've ever seen a grown woman look so much like a scared child in my life. And she's scared now. She's terrified out of her mind, and she needs you to hold her now. She needs you to tell her that everything is going to be all right. And she needs you to take her home and make that promise a reality." There was a short pause, that Rhett did not attempt to fill. "Rhett, I don't know that everyone gets another chance. But please learn from your mistakes and make this right. You aren't getting any younger, and its high time that you settle down and learn to be happy. "

"I'll try, Mother. I can't promise anything. But I'll try." He offered.

"That's all I can ask, Rhett. That is all that I can ask."

* * *

The maid had finished dressing her and fixing her hair. The dress she wore was one of the few that allowed her to wear her corset laced loosely, instead of that tightness that had contributed to her fainting the day before. It was a brilliant emerald that fell gracefully away at the empire waist. It brought out the darker green in her eyes, making them appear even more mystical and intriguing than normal.

There was a soft rapping on the door, that was followed by a familiar voice. "Scarlett, are you ready to come down for breakfast?"

"Come in, Rhett." She returned, not rising from the bench where she was seated.

The door opened, and Rhett entered the room swiftly. "I assumed that I gave you the proper amount of time, my pet?"

"Yes, I'm ready."

He moved to her side and helped her to her feet. "You have my mother completely fooled. She thinks you must be some delicate little flower, but I know that you are stronger than you look."

"Perhaps I am stronger than I look, but did you ever consider, Rhett, that even the strongest are not always strong?" Her eyes were shining up at him, brimming with the very emotion that he had so longed to see reflected in their depths

"Apparently, you are growing wise in your old age." He offered with a chuckle, as his practiced eyes roamed over her still slight frame.

"Old age, my foot." she retorted with a snort. "If anyone is old then it would be you. As I recall you are awfully close to 50, old man."

He grinned. "That I am, my kitten. Too old to play games any longer."

She blinked up at him, uncertain of his meaning. "What, are you offering a truce?"

"Yes, yes I am. And I was wondering, if you would rather that we go back to Atlanta. I know that you burned most of your bridges there, but it seems as if most of my bridges here burned in the night." he gestured around them. "I'm not received any longer. I've done it again. It was only a matter of time before my misdeeds caught up with me."

"Is it really that bad?" She seemed surprised by the reaction of society, although she shouldn't have been. She should have known what the consequences would be to her return. "But Rhett, there was no divorce. It was all a mistake."

"This isn't just about your return. And all of that is true, but it doesn't consider the fact that by still being married to you and calling off my marriage, I irrevocably damaged Anne's reputation. I had already damaged her reputation, and was trying to correct it by marrying her, running away from you. It's history repeating itself, the endless cycle, ripping me asunder. And the fact that I was going to marry her, the fact that I thought that I had managed to divorce you, is evidence of the state of our marriage. And no one likes to see anyone else's dirty laundry aired. And..." He paused, very uncharacteristically.

"Well, whatever could be the matter. You never were one to mince words." She responded impatiently.

"I don't want them to question the legitimacy of my child -- our child. I think it would be better for us and for the child if we at least left Charleston for a while. Too much has gone on here, there has been too much scandal. That's a heavy burden to press upon our child. Especially with our storied history. We need a fresh start, some place where our reputations have not preceded us."

"Is there such a place?" She laughed.

He smiled, "I don't know. We probably should head to Atlanta and stay there until the baby is born. I want you to be near a doctor that knows you. I don't want to take any chances- not this time around."

"Then I guess that we will be going back to Atlanta, but it will have to be soon. I can't hide this condition for long. And I don't want people gossiping about me."

"It's too late for that. You should know by now that you can't avoid gossip. Atlanta must be bored without your antics to snub their noses at."

"But it's high time that I go and prove that Melanie wasn't completely wrong about me."


	8. Of Trains and Tribulations

_Author's Note: Sorry it took me this long to update. Thanks for sticking with this story! Hope that you enjoy, and if you haven't listened you might check out Cornorama and I's podcast ofiddledeedee you can find it at www dot ofiddledeedee dot mypodcast dot com_

There was such a mad rush, as the servants packed and toted Rhett and Scarlett's belongings to the carriage that Rhett had engaged. The entire household was thrown into turmoil at the rapidly laid plans. Scarlett's face revealed her surprise that he had already taken care of hiring a carriage since it was no longer considered proper among the Charlestonian elite. "I thought that we would have to walk." She responded to the questioning look on his face.

"There is no way that I would allow you to walk that far, not in your delicate state of health. I wish that I didn't feel that it was so urgent to get you home, back to Atlanta. But I can't help but follow this leading. I've got to get you back there." He said solemnly.

"Does it have anything to do with escaping the gossip here in Charleston? You know that it will follow us where ever it is that we choose to go." She said complacently.

"I hoped that you wouldn't know about the problems that apparently have been caused by ... shall we say... our interesting situation." He said with a heavily furrowed brow.

"Fiddle-dee-dee, are you teasing me, Rhett Butler? Do you honestly think that I didn't realize all of the problems that this would cause. I'm no fool. I know of the ramifications of this situation. I have been the subject of enough gossip for a lifetime. I would say I should be considered an expert on the matter. And the chances are that the gossip has already reached Atlanta, or at least it won't be far behind us. And it can't help matters that I already burned most of my bridges there." She responded.

He wasn't so amused by her casualness over their problems. "I was a fool to ever come here. I was wrong to think that returning to this bastion of formality and propriety would do anything to relieve the sting of the pain that it had dealt me during my youth." He paused in his diatribe to lead her down the stairs and carefully lift her into the waiting carriage. "You know, it hasn't changed. I don't think that it ever will."

"Nothing ever stays the same. Sometimes, I wish that it did. I wish that I could just go back to Atlanta and find that Melanie and Mammy were there waiting for me with open arms. I wish so many things..." She said quietly, her voice trailing off into nothing above a whisper as she avoided Rhett's searching eyes.

The look in her eyes was not lost on him. "You can say her name, you know. There is no sense in hiding from it. We had a beautiful daughter, and she died. And our marriage died with her."

Scarlett turned her eyes to look at him. "I guess our marriage came back to life, or are you implying that we are beating a dead horse?" She paused before continuing. "I'm afraid to say her name, afraid that by speaking about her that I will shatter this peace between us. And I'm too tired to fight about it anymore. I'm too tired." She added wearily.

"Perhaps we should wait. This is a mistake. Are you certain that you are capable of traveling?" He asked, his voice thick with concern.

"I'll be fine. I will sleep in the train. You are right though. I need to get home. I need to bring Wade and Ella home too. I didn't think that I would, but I miss my children. And besides, I can't have my nasty sister raising my children, my off-spring. I've never been one to shirk my responsibilities. Why should I start now?" She said leaning against him, her head dully throbbing from the motion though the carriage had little more than started in their journey.

He looked at her pale face and was unsure of whether or not he should proceed. If something were to happen to her, no one else would understand. He didn't want anyone to know about this child just yet, and he couldn't afford to wait any longer before traveling home if he was going to succeed in that goal.

"Rhett, what are we going to tell the children? I am sure that they are not immune to the gossip. And it isn't as if Suellen would hide something like the divorce from them. She would revel in doing anything that would make me look worse." She told him worriedly.

"Scarlett, at the moment I have no answer for any questions. There has been too much that has happened in the last day, the last twenty-four hours for me to be able to answer or understand anything. I need a little more time to sort things out, such as what I will tell the children." She moved her head away from his shoulder and looked up at him. "But I will do the explaining. I don't want any more of this burden to fall upon you."

She began to protest that it was she who needed to explain things to them, but he refused to listen. He held up his hand as he rationalized, "I am the one that abandoned them the day that their adored aunt who had loved them and showered them with love and affection since they were born died. Even if I didn't owe it to you, which I do, I do owe it to them. They deserve to be treated better than I treated them."

They rode the rest of the way to the station in silence, it unnerved him to think of Scarlett as anything other than unstoppable. This fragile creature was foreign to him. She was weak and wilting beside him like a fragile flower. It didn't set well with him that this pregnancy seemed to be taking such a toll upon her. Pregnancy had always apart from the morning sickness brought out more life in her instead of draining it away. The accident and the miscarriage certainly had to be a cause of this weakness. And it didn't ease his mind when he remembered how impossibly close she had been to death when this child had been conceived. He had needed to celebrate life, but in all reality he had taken from her when she was too weak to stand. The time in the water surely hadn't helped her state of health. And he had no idea what damage to her health had been done during the deprivation of the war.

His mind played back all of the times when he had assumed that she could handle whatever life might throw at her. But perhaps he had been wrong. Mother might be right in the matter of Scarlett's health. She might not be as strong as he had always supposed. Her head leaning against his chest should be evidence enough of that. He wanted to think that she was merely acting, but it was going to be a difficult task. If she was acting then she certainly should have been involved in the stage, for all of his skill at reading lies and detecting untruths, he was convinced of the veracity of the situation. Scarlett was not playing a game this time. She was truly weak and ill for her to act so submissively and contritely.

He managed to transfer her to the train without incident, and by plying her with some of the sweets and breads that his mother had ordered to be packed, she began telling him of what she had seen while she was away. She smiled as she told of the green rolling hills and the brilliant sky overhead. "Rhett, they accepted me. They cared about me, no matter what I did. It wasn't like life in Charleston or in Atlanta or even in the county. No matter what I did, I was wonderful."

He smiled indulgently at her. This was the first time that she had traveled from home. This was her first great adventure, and what he hoped was not her last. She was speaking with the glow and vibrancy that he had lost many years before. This is what he had wanted to share with her when he had suggested that they travel to Paris or Europe during the war. This was the same wide-eyed innocence that he had so adored during their honeymoon. Despite all that she had gone through, there was still so much about her that was child like and guileless.

"But Rhett, it wasn't all so wonderful. The landlords were treating my family and others like... like the Yankees treated us. It was all so horrible. I felt so helpless. Have you ever felt like that? Have you ever been helpless?" She asked as she turned her bright eyes on him.

He was shocked at the open pain in her eyes. Her heart was on her sleeve, and he couldn't stand to look into them. He dropped his eyes before admitting "I'm helpless when it comes to you."

He raised his eyes to look at her, and she was obviously shocked by his admission. "Is this real?" she asked hesitantly. "Or am I imagining that you are actually telling me what I hope to hear?"

He smiled reluctantly. "Apparently, I've learned to hide my emotions and thoughts so well over the years that I sabotaged our chances at happiness."

"I've never understood that. You were always so open with Bonnie – so generous and loving. Do you know how terrible it makes me feel that I was actually jealous of my own child, my favorite child." She paused for a minute rubbing her temples. "We can't do that again. We can't turn this child against each other."

"I agree Scarlett. But don't worry about it. We are going to do things right this time. This is my last chance at happiness."

She nodded and then bit into a piece of cornbread dripping with honey. "Do you think we can figure this out? Do you think we can do this?" She asked warily.

"If you can find your way past two armies and keep a plantation running. We can figure this out. You are Scarlett O'Hara after all."

"I have always wondered about that, Rhett. Why did you leave me? Anything could have happened to us, you always act like I'm some goddess who cannot be damaged. You always acted as if I had no feelings. Well I do. I am not impenetrable. Great balls of fire, I might have realized that I was in love with you years ago, if you hadn't been so nasty to me. I'm not the only one at fault here, even though I blamed myself ever since you left. We made this mess, the both of us." She explained.

"You are right. I don't know why it was so hard for me to be kind to you, but it seems that I am incapable of normal human kindness. You always seemed so far above my reach, and then when I could feel your charms wearing through my tarnished armor, I insulted you. It was my defense against you. Give me time, I will do my best not to revert to my wayward ways, but do remember that bad habits are hard to break. I am trying. And I still love you. I don't think I'll ever be able to stop either." He said with a sigh, raking a bronzed hand through shiny ebony hair. "You are in my blood. Forever"


	9. Of Awakening and Anger

**Author's Note: Thanks to everyone who has reviewed and to Sara and Corrin and Skyebugs for prodding at me to update. And thank you to MadSteph for the correction to my use of correct French food terminology. A very special thanks goes out to Skyebugs for transcribing the podcast. thank you so so much! O and anyone who hasn't heard the request on the podcast, please send Corrin and I any GWTW crossovers that you know of. We would greatly appreciate reading them for the April series on the podcast. Thanks to everyone who has been reading and reviewing. You need to know just how very much I appreciate you!**

She was gently being shaken out of sound sleep, and for a moment she had no idea where she was. She blinked her eyes and rubbed at them while she tried to familiarize herself with her surroundings. Her head was cushioned against the solid muscles of Rhett's chest, the tangy scent that was uniquely his invading her nostrils. She felt the cool breeze where his arms had been holding her. She already was missing their warmth.

"Ahh", he chuckled. "Sleeping Beauty awakens. I was wondering if I would have to kiss you wake you. But I don't believe that you ate any apples."

She yawned and grinned at him contentedly, "I feel like I could sleep forever, and yet still not have enough. And by the way Rhett, Snow White ate the apple, not Sleeping Beauty." She informed him. "Sleeping Beauty pricked her finger." She giggled a little. "Imagine that. I know something in literature that you don't. I'm sure that you never thought that you would see the day."

"I apologize for my errors in using a fairytale allusion. They were never the stories that I paid much attention to. I was more interested in stories of Dragons and battles and Knights. But I should remember that. Those were Bonnie's favorite stories. I guess that Snow White is more appropriate for you, anyway. Eating was her downfall." He chuckled.

She glared at him playfully before taking the time to look out the window. "Where are we?" she asked as she struggled to pull herself into a more upright position, away from the warmth of his arms.

"We're nearly to Atlanta. You must have been exhausted. You were sleeping so soundly, for a moment...." He turned his face from hers.

"For a moment what?" She quizzed, her eyes squinting as a beam of sunlight splintered through the window sending light dancing across his face.

His face was taut as he admitted, "I thought that there was something wrong. I though you had fainted or that something was wrong."

"Oh fiddle-dee-dee, Rhett. It takes more than this to stop me. I believe I have overhead people comparing me to a hurricane. Hurricane Scarlett was the term I believe. I'm no wilting flower. Just because I fainted yesterday, you needed treat me as if I was made of glass. That was a terrible day. Can you imagine a worse shock than what I saw when I walked into my husband's mothers home? God's night gown Rhett, how would you expect me to react? And I didn't particularly enjoy the journey back on the ship. I was ill most of the way, and many foods have no appeal to me right now." She could see the concern in his eyes as she admitted, "I have been sick more this time than I was in previous pregnancies, but nothing is going to happen to me. Stop looking at me like I am going to disappear or break. I'm not going anywhere." She finished laying a hand so that her fingers splayed across his chest.

She could see that he didn't believe her as he gathered her in his arms and rested his chin on the top her head. She nestled against him breathing in the clean scent of the fabric that was against her nose. "Wake me up when the train pulls into the station. I wouldn't mind getting a little more of a nap." She yawned again.

He chuckled with a nervous edge to the sound. "You never change do you, my pet? Can't you tell that we are only minutes from arriving. There is no point in you napping again. And you are quite the bear to wake."

She pulled away from him her eyes still holding a trace of sleepiness, but they were brighter than they had been the day before. Her cheeks were flushed and pink. It eased his mind momentarily to see color blooming there again. It seemed that her little nap on the train had been exactly what she had needed to begin to restore her health. It was amazing how young she still seemed, how when he watched her the years could fall away like the leaves in autumn.

To avoid focusing on her and the thoughts and emotions that he still had repressed, he lifted the much lighter hamper onto the seat and offered her a bite. "Here is some pain au chocolat. Mother thought you might enjoy it, and it always seems to travel well."

She tentatively took the offered pastry from him. The flaky golden crust dropping wafers of crumbs onto her dress. She bit delicately into the confection and smiled as she taste the airy layers gave way to a richer center of chocolate. "This is really good, Rhett. Where ever do you find something like this?" She asked through a mouthful.

"Actually this is a French staple, along with baguettes and croissants." He replied to her inquest. "We had some on our honeymoon, although I'm not certain that you could remember any particular food that you had since you ate such a large quantity of entrees and treats."

But she was already distracted before he could finish his explanation. "Oh, Rhett look, we are on the outskirts of Atlanta. I don't think I realized just how homesick I was until we got here. Oh how I missed this place! Oh, Rhett, can we just go ahead and go on to Tara? I want to get Wade and Ella and bring them home. I just want to have a normal life again. Maybe its this baby, I can't explain it. But all of a sudden I have a desire to be the mother to them that I wasn't before." She was smiling wistfully and staring out the window hungrily.

"No, I will fetch Wade and Ella home in a day or so. But for now, I think that you should be in bed and resting. Let's not forget all of the stress that you have been under. You do look better than when we boarded the train this morning, but I would rather be cautious with you in such a condition. And I would like for Dr. Meade to examine you as well. He is familiar with you and knows your history."

He wasn't expecting that she would be as angry as she was, nor was she even prepared for how upset she was. "Great balls of fire! Rhett! I just want to go get my children from Tara. It isn't as if Tara even was very very far away. Why if you would only let us stay on the train, why it would seem like we would be there in no time. And besides is that really such a daunting task, fetching the children? I have faced much, much worse than that!"

"Now who is the one who seems to think that you are invincible?" He asked with a raised eyebrow, trying to calm the storm that had swept upon them so suddenly. "As I recall you were just reminding me how I always treated you as if you were a Goddess that was untouchable, well is it any wonder? I am not the only one that has that thought instilled in their brain. You aren't above injury, if the last several years haven't managed to teach you that." His voice was gruff as he spoke. He was irritated at how quickly they could slip back into their old destructive patterns.

"Fine. I'll just go home, and lie around and be a perfect little wife, doing nothing to displease you." she simpered falsely, her eyes snapping with the fire of her anger.

"I only want you to be safe. I'm not trying to do this to trap you or imprison you. You know that I thought that coming home today was a risk. If things hadn't soured so rapidly in Charleston I would have preferred that we stay there. As it is, this was the only choice. But don't think that just because I am trying not to fall back into old habits that I won't protect you from yourself and your stubbornness."

A continuation of their discussion which was growing more heated by the instant was prevented by the lurching of the train as it pulled into the station. It shuddered to a stop, which nearly sent Scarlett sprawling into Rhett's arms as she was momentarily thrown off balance. The smoke billowed past the windows, obscuring the familiar platform in its clouds.

"We're here." Rhett said as he lifted the hamper from the seat and took Scarlett's arm with the other. "There will be a carriage here waiting for you. I need to go down town and check on some business."

How odd it was that he could so quickly become so detached and impersonal. "Fine." she replied with a toss of her hair. "Just do that! If you are so worried about my delicate condition , I don't know why you aren't accompanying me home before you go gallivanting about."

They didn't speak again as they made their way out of the train. There were no people that they knew waiting on the platform, and Scarlett breathed a small sigh of relief at not having to immediately deal with the disapproval of the Old Guard. They made their way from the platform to the area where buggies and drivers waited for their passengers to arrive. Their carriage was waiting for them, and he lifted her carefully into it, treating her as if she were as fragile and delicate as fine bone china. She avoided his searching eyes and stared at the wall of the carriage opposite her. What a difference a few moments could make in their dealings with each other. She was annoyed with him at the moment, and she was considering disregarding his edict as to what she could and could not do. She knew that if she looked into his eyes, he would unequivocally know of her plans.

"I'll see you later, my pet." He told her softly before snapping the carriage door closed. She could hear him speaking to the groom, and then the conveyance lurched into motion carrying her towards the great mansion on Peachtree street that had once been her pride and joy. It was the house that he had built for her, no matter how distasteful that he thought it was. He had built it to please her.

It seemed strange to feel apprehension about returning to her home, but in the fact it had never been much of a home for them. It had been a show place that held more sad memories than happy ones. And a small lump was forming in her throat that grew as the houses and buildings beside them flew past. She was finding it hard to imagine that once they returned to life there that it would be much different than it had been. That house held so many painful memories that she wanted no part of. She wanted to push those moments to the side and pretend that they had not happened. But she was beginning to understand that delaying the thoughts could not keep them permanently at bay.

When they pulled up to the house, it seemed that the lot had shrunk in the heat, shriveling in the scorching Georgia sun. It was as though time had diminished it somehow in unimaginable ways. Had it always looked so squished upon the lot? Had the the windows always glared so harshly? It was difficult to look at this home and not remember the tragedies of the life that they had spent together within these walls. Perhaps it was for the best that Rhett had not been with her. She needed a moment to process her thoughts and rein them in before she was ready to enter the house.

Inside the house was the same, but it did not feel the same. The furniture, the paintings, the many, many mirrors, all were still residing in the same places that they had always been. But it seemed that the lifeblood of the house had flowed out, leaving a lifeless corpse behind. There was no life here within the walls.

Perhaps this was the reason that she had been so desperate to bring Wade and Ella home. She needed to hear their laughter echoing, to hide the laughter that would not be heard. She needed them to make this ornate monstrosity even the slightest illusion of a home. She needed Wade and Ella to fill the void left by Bonnie's absence. And she knew that returning here was going to be more difficult for Rhett than it had been for her. She had lived in this house for over a year without Bonnie, but Rhett had only briefly visited and in those moments it had been obvious that her absence was keenly noticed.

But she was tired, more tired than she cared to admit -- that was one of the the details of pregnancy that she dreaded. And this time she felt the drain more acutely. As much as it galled her that Rhett had ordered her to bed, it really didn't seem so much of a punishment. She had fretted every moment since she had received notice of the divorce. She hadn't had a decent nights sleep in the better part of month, and it was wearing on her.

She trudged up the stairs, tamping down the memories of other moments on the stairs as she conquered the height. She slowly made her way into her bedroom laid down on the bed, not even taking the time to pull the covers back. She closed her eyes, and allowed the sleep to take her.


	10. Of Dreams and Doctors

_Author's Note: No, I haven't disappeared, I've only moved some of my fics to the newly created book section. I hope you enjoy this update! Thanks for all of the reviews!_

A gentle mist hung over the muddy river that was meandering through the red hills of Clayton County. She opened her eyes when she felt something small and warm pressed against her side. It was Bonnie! Her bright blue eyes sparkled mischievously as she grinned up at her mother impishly. "Mother!" she squealed. "I love you!"

"I love you too, precious!" Scarlett smiled sweetly.

"Where's my brother?" Bonnie asked.

Scarlett smiled again. "He's over there, chasing Wade and Ella. He is unstoppable."

Bonnie's nose wrinkled, "He gets into my toys, Mother!"

Scarlett laughed softly, "I'm certain that Wade and Ella could have once said the same thing about you. In fact, I believe I recall Wade complaining about that more than once. And you always were taking Ella's dolls and then doing terrible things to them."

Bonnie frowned. "I did not!"

"Bonnie!" Rhett's voice gently chastised. "You shouldn't speak to your mother that way."

He dropped to his knees beside his wife and placed a quick kiss on her cheek. "Bonnie, come here." He commanded.

Bonnie stood and moved towards him, her eyes downcast. "Yes, Daddy?"

"You should never speak to Mother or I that way." He told her solemnly, although Scarlett noticed his shoulders shaking with repressed laughter.

"All right, Daddy. I'll be nice." She said quietly before turning towards her mother. "I'm sorry, Mother. I was not very nice. I'll be a good girl. I will." She said with determination blazing in her pert face.

"Why don't you go play with you sister." Rhett instructed. And then after she had slipped away, he leaned over and whispered to Scarlett, " I wanted some time alone with the mother of my children." He leaned over and brushed his lips against hers.

"I'm so glad you agreed for us to come to Tara before the baby comes. The children are having such a wonderful time." She sighed happily.

"How is my new baby doing?" He asked as he placed his hand against the small tight mound of her stomach.

"We are fine, but Rhett, I would like to have some time alone with you later." She said with a hungry light in her eyes.

Rhett laughed deeply, "It seems that your hunger cannot be satiated, my pet. You are going to wear me out."

"Are you admitting that you are getting old, Captain Butler?" She giggled lightly.

"I'm not old! I'm like a fine wine..." He began.

"Yes, yes I've heard it before, but it only gets better for so long and then it sours."

But he wasn't paying attention to her though, instead he had captured his toddling son by the waist and fling him squealing with laughter into the air. His laughter was such a sweet sound as Rhett's hands began tickling the boys stomach. He tightened into a ball with a grin plastered on his face. How sweet a moment that they were sharing....

She was awakened suddenly by an impatient Rhett who quickly told her that Dr. Meade was on his way. "I want him to examine you."

She shook her head trying to clear the cobwebs of the vivid dream that had just been playing out in her mind. Oh how sweet life might have been. Obviously her dreams were taking her places that her conscious mind did not allow.

"Are you all right? Is something the matter?" Rhett asked as he stared intently at her face.

"It was a dream, just a dream. It's nothing Rhett." She spoke softly. "Why don't you go ahead and bring Dr. Meade in."

Rhett nodded and moved towards the door. He opened it and allowed the doctor to enter.

"Good evening, Scarlett. Rhett tells me that you are in the family way?"

"Yes, I am." She replied simply. How odd and stilted this conversation felt, how uncomfortable.

"And you are concerned about this being a difficult situation as a result the the injuries from your miscarriage, correct?" He said.

"Yes." She responded.

"Well there is a doctor in Charleston that has more information on the matter. He comes highly recommended. He is young, and studied France during the war. Perhaps you have heard of him... it seems that he had some tie in working with French royalty, but I could be wrong...."

"Absolutely not!" Rhett's voice left no doubt of whether the suggestion had any chance of being accepted. "I will not allow a man like that to touch my wife. There is too much bad blood between us." He finished.

"You know him then?" Dr Meade questioned, too shocked at Rhett's out burst for a moment to even begin to scold him for the impropriety of being in the room as his wife was examined.

"Our families have been at each other's throats for years. I would never let him near my wife." Rhett again asserted.

"Well, then please leave the room while I examine your wife."

Rhett frowned as he left, but he left despite his misgivings.

Scarlett looked apprehensively at the older man. "I know that after Bonnie died, that you told me to give Rhett another baby, but I didn't plan on this..... How serious were my injuries from the miscarriage? Can this baby make it?" She did not ask the next question on her mind; she knew that both she and Dr. Meade were both thinking about Melanie.

"You are strong, Scarlett. Stronger than most people would ever imagine that a woman could be, but I'm not going to lie to you. This might not be an easy time. You must be very careful and never over exert yourself. If you want to bring this life into the world, and not more greatly endanger your own life then you will have to be very cautious."

She nodded solemnly, taking his warning and admonitions to heart. She closed her eyes while Dr Meade performed the exam.

He went to the door and motioned for Rhett to join them. "Scarlett has always been strong, and as long as she doesn't over exert herself, I believe that she has a good chance of carrying this child to term. But that being said, all care needs to be taken to avoid any stress or worry. She is going to have to stay in this bed. There will not be any running about town or anything else of the like. The children may spend time with her, but only in calm pursuits. She should not be involved in anything active or taxing."

"She will be completely taken care of, whether she approves or not." He said with a grin.

"I not going to fight anyone on this. This matters too much." She spoke softly.

Dr. Meade offered a few more suggestions before slipping out the door, leaving Scarlett entirely in her husbands care. One of the maids knocked on the door, and Rhett rose and brought in a tray laden with biscuits and rolls and small cookies. "I thought you should have something to eat, something that would be easy on your stomach."

"Thank you, Rhett. I'm sorry I was so upset earlier." She offered contritely.

"I would have been more surprised if you hadn't been. One of those things about you that has never changed is your stubbornness. I can't expect you to become a complacent little ninny that says nothing other then yes or no over night,can I?" He asked with a wry grin.

"I believe that you are repeating my own words." She said with a giggle.

"Here, go ahead and eat. You need all of your strength now. I can't let you waste away now, can I? Nor can I imagine that you would ever allow yourself to suffer such a fate."

"Rhett, I know we had our differences, but would you mind terribly if I asked you to lie down beside me? I would rather not be alone. I spent too many nights by myself in this bed, and I am not too keen on repeating history."

"Honestly, I don't know that I am ready to go back to my old room yet. There are still too many memories here; there are too many ghosts within these walls."

Scarlett and Rhett ate the food in companionable silence before Scarlett smiled at him, "Would you mind holding me while I go to sleep. I'm just so sleepy all of the time. I can barely keep my eyes open."

"Of course. You don't even need to ask," he offered as he slid off his shoes and climbed into the bed beside her, "Shhh, don't say anything. Just let me hold you. I want to enjoy this peace." He allowed his thumb to slowly rub circles on the back of her palm, and she felt her eyelids grow heavier by the moment until she surrendered to the call of the Nightingale's song.

"Be safe, Scarlett, my darling," he murmured against her dark hair. "Be safe."


	11. Of Nightmares and Terrors

It had to be a nightmare. This couldn't be happening. After all that they had gone through to get to this moment, he couldn't accept that she was gone. How could someone so vital and vibrant be gone so quickly. But he could not deny that her ashen skin, waxy and translucent in the candle light was becoming cool to the touch. Others had offered to handle the task of dressing her. Others had tried to take this from his hands, but he would not relinquish this one last moment alone with her. He only had these last moments to spend with her, and he could not willingly lose an instant.

"Oh, my darling. How I loved you, how I loved you even when I was unable to admit it to myself. I wanted to protect you from everything. I wanted to give you the world. But I have failed, failed in more ways than anyone could have ever conceived of..." He whispered in voice thick and heavy with emotion. He brushed an errant strand of hair from her cool brow and then dropped a kiss there.

"I need you my darling, oh how I need you. Our child needs you, your darling baby boy needs you. You can't leave him." His voice was husky as he rasped words uncomprehendingly to her inert form. "Wake up, my darling. Open your eyes, tell me that it has all been a nightmare, tell me that we are all wrong. I would be so happy to be wrong. Please you can tell me many times what a fool I was. Wake up and tell me over and over that you are right." He cried.

But she was silent and still, as unmoving and unyielding as stone. Finally he unbuttoned the white gown that she had been sleeping in and slipped it from her body. There were still the obvious signs of childbearing and the agony of birth marking her. Her abdomen was still softly rounded, still as if life were growing within her.

He stared at her naked body, willing for her to rise, willing for her to turn and pull a blanket over herself to hide her nudity. But she did not move, could not move. Her hands grew cooler and rested limply at her sides even as he stood staring at her. "Scarlett, my love. My love, wake up!" He cried again.

Finally knowing that he would never again hear her voice calling out to him in the night as a scared child, he carefully dressed her in a dress the color of emeralds, the color of eyes that would never stare at him with such an odd combination of naiveté and strength. The material was rough against her smooth skin. He leaned down and brushed his lips once more upon hers, "My darling, my Scarlett, I love you." Tears slipped down his face, "Scarlett. Scarlett" he moaned like a wounded animal cowering under the power of something that he was not able to master or stop.

But there was no reply, only the icy silence of eternity closing in around him. She was gone. "Scarlett" again he cried closing his eyes trying to escape the nightmare of this reality...

"Rhett?" a soft voice called to him, breaking through the agony of his heart. For a moment he was shrouded in confusion, eyes blinking in the heavy darkness. "Rhett?" The voice called again, and then a smooth, cool hand was at his brow. "Rhett?"

And he breathed again, his arms pulling her body closer to his. He buried his nose into the warmth of her neck, her dark hair swirling around him. 'Oh, Scarlett. Oh, Scarlett." He sighed, trying with little effect to control his treacherous emotions.

But she pulled away from him in the darkness, her bright eyes shining like stars in the night. Her hands smoothed a rebellious lock of hair from his face. "Were you dreaming?" She asked.

He shuddered for the nightmare's silvery tentacles had not yet loosened. That nightmare was still as real to him as the warm body of his wife. He squeezed his eyes tightly shut for a moment more to compose himself before finally admitting, "I dreamed that you had died. And somehow, in someways, it was so much darker than even Bonnie's death, no matter how I loved Bonnie." Realizing that he had spoken the words aloud he then clamped his jaw shut, refusing to admit to anything more than he already had. He had showed his cards, slipped and allowed the one person who had the greatest power to destroy him to see him in his weakest moment.

The remote mask slipped over his features as he stiffened in the darkness at the gentle touch of her hand. She flinched at his movement, sensing the distress that was engulfing him. "Rhett, it was only a dream. Only a nightmare like the ones that I have, like the ones Bonnie had." She wiggled closer to him, running her hand slowly down his back in a smooth sweeping gesture.

"I don't want to talk about it."

"Speaking it, doesn't make it happen. Look at me. I am fine. There is nothing wrong."

He relaxed under her careful ministrations, her hands on his body, small and warm, helped to dispel some of the terror the vision that he had seen. Her presence was the balm that he needed to wash away the images of death and loss and grief. Finally her hands stilled as she leaned in and gently kissed his neck; soft breath caressing his tender skin. Her hands moved to the buttons on his shirt.

"Scarlett, darling, I'm not sure that this is advisable, not now." He cautioned gently.

"Please Rhett, please I need you." She responded, her voice soft and yet powerful with yearning.

"As much as I want you, and God, Scarlett, how I want you. I don't want something to happen, I don't want anything to jeopardize this child's health or more than that yours. We can't do this now, darling, no matter how much we want to." He reasoned.

"It's because I've gotten fat. I'm old and you don't want me anymore," she pouted, obviously not pleased with his rebuff or his reasons.

"I swear to you, Scarlett, I want to, I want to very much, but we can't, we can't, not yet. Not until we know that you are stable and able to do this. You nearly miscarried only a day ago. Perhaps you aren't going to be careful with your condition,, but I damn well am not going to place you in any more danger than I already have."

But she continued her assault on him, small hands fumbling with buttons in the darkness, hungry kisses colliding with his lips that could not be reasoned with. She was clinging to him in the darkness like a rose climbing a lattice, and he understood that to pry her away now might kill that bloom.

"I don't understand this Rhett, but I need you. It's been too long, and I need to feel complete. I need to be a part of you. I need that passion." She said between kisses and caresses.

And finally he could no longer control himself, not as she clutched at him and pulled at him, begging him to join her in pleasure and ecstasy, not when her eyes were so flooded with love and desire. He was only man, only a mere mortal. But he also knew that tonight would be different than it had ever been between them. He would not hold back and remain aloof as they came together. And he knew that it would not be a wild celebration of survival as it had been that day on the beach, nor would it contain the frenzied jealousy that had unleashed passion that was equal in his heart with the pain that they were causing each other. Even if it killed him, tonight would be slow and sensual, tonight he would worship her instead of degrade her. Tonight would be different.

The next morning he awoke slowly with the sunshine spilling through the curtains and falling across his face in blinding brightness. But he did not move for Scarlett's small body was twined with his, and he could not move for the chance that it would disrupt her sleep.

He lay there listening to the steady breathing, and watching as her chest rose and fell. And he remembered the nightmare that had attacked him in the night. He wondered if it was not merely a nightmare, but instead a harbinger of what was to come. For all of Scarlett's protestations to the severity of her weakness, Rhett couldn't shake the gloom that had descended upon him with the memory of the nightmare. A child would not be worth her life. He didn't want to lose her, didn't know if his sanity would survive the loss of her.

She stirred in her sleep, hiding her face from the sun within the shelter of his arms. She was so content, so completely at peace that he felt as if the ax was going to fall. This sweetness, this bliss could not remain. Never in his life had something that he loved so much stayed as it was. He had to fight the urge to fling her body away from him and run. It seemed that running was the only thing he had ever done that was able to protect himself from anything.

But her small hands tugged at his shirt, and he could not let go of this happiness. He couldn't sacrifice this moment even if he would have to pay for it later, and he knew that he would. He remembered his father's last words to him as he had walked out the doors of their townhouse in Charleston on the battery, "You'll never be happy. You will ruin everything you love. You will never be anything more than you are now." And then the rest of his bags had been carelessly tossed after him. The door had slammed, and he had refused to look back, refused to give his father any power over him.

But it seemed as if his father had cursed him to be a vagabond, unable to settle down, unable to love anyone fully. With the exception of Bonnie, he had run from everything else that he had loved. And yet Bonnie's love had only cemented that trait further for he could still feel the ache in his heart from her absence. He always ran. Even as a child, he had been prone to running off. And he had never shaken that habit. It had become as much a part of him as the color of his eyes or the stealthy way in which he walked.

"Rhett," she sighed in her sleep.

He tightened his arms around her, inhaling the sweet scent of her skin. She pressed herself against him, and he could feel the nearly invisible swell of her stomach. But he couldn't run anymore. He knew that there would be no more chances. He had run out of chances for he had run too many times. This was the last chance at happiness, and he would cling to it at all costs. He would hold on to her and this new life with all that was within him.

And as he lay there, trying to grapple with his thoughts, she woke and smiled at him, her eyes blazing with happiness. "I love you, Rhett." Her voice was soft and there was a faint blush glowing on her face as if she were remembering her boldness of the previous night..

"Good Morning," he whispered.

"I'm so glad that we are home. And Wade and Ella will be back later. It's going to be perfect, I just know it."

He could not extinguish that warmth and hope in her eyes, and so he smiled vacantly at her, trying to console himself with the hope that she was right. And he held her and allowed the warmth of her skin to thaw the icy shell forming around his heart.

_Author's Note: I know I was being terribly horribly mean, but I just couldn't resist._


	12. Of Reunions and Rebuttals

_Author's Note: Thanks to all of my readers for following me to this new thread. I appreciate all of you, and I hope that you enjoy this next installment. Special thanks to Corrin for helping me proof this and to Janet for poking me to update. I should be also uploading episode 11 of ofiddledeedee today, so keep your eyes open. thank you again! _

She had risen earlier, awakening just as Rhett was leaving the room. He had been opening the door to slip away when she had exhaled deeply and opened her eyes. He had heard her for he had turned and smiled. "Good morning again, my pet."

She peered up at him, her hair swirling in wild black tangles around her face, looking very much younger than her years, "Rhett, where are you going so early?" she murmured in a voice hoarse with sleep.

"I have much to do to reestablish myself as a business man in this town. Don't worry," he added. "I'll be back for lunch, although I wonder if you will be out of bed by then considering how much you once loved to sleep the day away."

She yawned in response to his predictions and then climbed from the bed. She took her time as she dressed in a frilly nightgown to replace the one discarded during the night and plaited her hair into a single fat braid that hung down loosely her back. Then after those matters were taken care of she returned to the bed to rest a little while longer. Scarlett simply snuggled back under the covers and slipped back to sleep. The bed was soft and the covers were smooth against her skin. She felt comfortable and content as she lay dreaming of the life that was stretching out ahead of her. She closed her eyes to envision holding her child in her arms, and that contented feeling gently lulled her back into a relaxed sleep.

Time slipped past her as dreams unfurled loosely around her as gentle and as fleeting as a cloud, though she was unaware of its passing. Her sleep was deep and unhindered until she was awakened by Rhett's hand upon her shoulder, carefully shaking her. "Scarlett, wake up. The children have arrived. They are waiting down stairs to have a late lunch with us. "She smiled still partially clouded by sleep. "They are wondering where you are." He straightened and stepped towards her robe which had been tossed negligently across the back of an ornate chair of dark wood and rose patterned fabric.

She sat up abruptly and then immediately regretted that action. Her head suddenly felt hot and white lines streaked her vision. She reached out a hand to steady herself, and Rhett was immediately at her side. "Is something the matter?" He quizzed.

"I'm fine. Would you quit hovering like that? I sat up too quickly, and it's obviously getting late. I haven't eaten, and hunger sometimes makes me dizzy if I haven't had anything to eat in several hours." She pushed at his hand, reasserting her independence.

"The children are here. They are waiting to see you. I barely recognized them. They have been away from us for far too long."

"Well then I will dress and go welcome them home." She said, taking more care to not rush as she rose.

"You aren't going to wear a corset, at least you aren't going to lace any tighter than I deem appropriate." Rhett told her in voice that brooked no defiance.

"How on earth will I possibly fit into any of my dresses then?" She asked as she turned to face him, her frustration easily visible on her face.

"You will simply have to make due. There must be something usable in that over stuffed closet of yours." He stepped towards the closet, while she followed closely on his heels.

Standing in front of the brightly colored dresses made of fine, rich materials, he paused. "There must be something here. You have been pregnant before. Need I remind you?"

"Yes, but nothing from then will be even remotely in style now," she fumed.

"If out of date fashions are so offense to you, then why have you never cleaned them out. And besides they are your children. They won't care what you wear as long as you give them the consideration to at least pretend that you care for them."

She chewed on her lip, deep in thought, until she finally reached out and snatched a dress that had been one of her favorites during her pregnancy with Bonnie. "I can't be seen in this. People will know that it is terribly out of fashion."

"You aren't leaving this house, and I don't know how many of the old guard will be here to welcome you home. Wade and Ella won't care whatever ridiculous costume that you choose to wear. They are only children," Rhett said to placate her.

As Rhett helped her in to first her chemise and bloomers and corset which he only laced tightly enough to hold itself it up, followed by her crinoline and bustle, and then finally the looser dress was lowered over her head. Neither spoke a word as he diligently worked to fasten the buttons and closures that ran up the back of the dress.

When he finished, she turned to face him. "Thank you." She offered.

There was fear and uncertainty in her eyes that gave him pause. "Are you truly that worried that the children will be angry with you?"

She nodded slowly. "I was never much of a mother to them or to Bonnie. I've left them for nearly two years out at Tara with my nasty sister and all of her bratty brood. I'm afraid that they will be angry with me for the mess I have made. I must have been nearly mad after everything that happened to abandon them like that. Thats the only explanation that makes any sense. I would never abandon my children, no matter how little it seemed that I loved them."

"They know that you love them, although they are probably confused by your absence as well as mine." He reached out to brush an errant tear that had escaped from her eye, which she furiously swiped at. "We can't correct the past, but we can try to make things right for them now."

She seemed ashamed of her tears, "I hate all of these emotions. I can't seem to keep anything under control right now."

"There is nothing wrong with having a good cry. It's something that you have been needing for a while it seems. Emotions aren't a weakness. Don't think that you need to hide them from me."

The tears were falling faster and with more speed, and finally Rhett took her into his arms and rubbed his hand slowly up and down along her spine. "Shhhh. It's going to be all right. It will all work out for the best. Don't work yourself up like this. If we take much longer they are going to worry about what I've done to you. I think that they are already in a little shock at having been summoned to return here out of the blue after such a period of time. And now they are suspicious since you weren't there at the train to meet them." He smoothed her hair from her face and then led her by the hand out the door of their bedroom. "Show them that you love them, and everything else will be forgotten. They are hungry for your love."

At this she snorted. "I tried that once and it didn't work. I realized how much I loved someone and they rejected me for it. I believe their words were 'I don't give a damn'."

"It wasn't you." He said as he raked his hands through his hair. "It was me. I still was so deep in grief that I couldn't see straight. I shouldn't have left you then...." He stopped at the top of the stairs and looked at her as unidentifiable emotions played out in his eyes.. "We have neither the time not the energy to rehash the past. We only can focus on the now and the future. Just trust your children, they might surprise you with how well they have turned out."

"I can't take credit for that. Their raising was not my doing. Anything that they know about being a decent person is by the influence of Mammy and Melanie." She told him quietly.

"You have had more influence that you will ever realize." He said as they began to descend the stairs. "Though you might try to hug them, kiss them."

"I tried to win them over once, and it didn't work then. They are afraid of me. I can't see how two years absence will have changed that."

"Just trust them." He told her as they stepped towards the door to the parlor where Rhett had left the children.

He opened the door and ushered her inside, "Wade, Ella. Here is your mother. Whole and intact just as I told you. Nothing is wrong."

Both children stared at her warily, appraising her smile and mood with their cautious eyes. "Hello Mother." Wade finally offered, breaking the silence that had descended.

"Hello, Wade. I've missed you." She said softly.

"Mother," Ella's voice chirped.

And Scarlett could see the longing in her eyes to be loved and accepted, and for a moment she wondered how she had missed that desire to know her mother's love. She was as aloof and separated from her children as her own mother had been to her. She remembered that as a girl she had wished to be a mother to her children like Beatrice Tarleton had been to hers. Hesitantly she opened her arms and said in a voice that held a note of trepidation,"Come here, Ella."

The girl that willingly into her arms was not the same silly child that had been impossible to connect with years before. This girl was sedate and calm and beginning to find her own unique beauty. She had indeed been an ugly baby and a homely fussy toddler. Bonnie's beauty had outshone from her birth and in all honesty Scarlett had barely been aware of her children since the day that Bonnie had died. "Darling." She whispered softly into a mass of gingery ringlets.

Ella pulled away and stared at her mother's face. She stared intently as if trying to understand the change, but there was no answer and she finally closed the gap once again and leaned into her mother's arms. "Momma."

"I missed you." Scarlett returned. "I'm so glad to have you home.... and, and" she stuttered trying to release those impossibly hard words, "I'm sorry." she finally uttered with a sharp exhalation of air.

Wade was silently taking in this strange scene before him, his brown eyes widening in surprise. And instantly it was as if Charles Hamilton had come back to life, for Wade bore an uncanny resemblance to the father he had never known nor had ever known about him."Of course, Mother. You're forgiven for your absence. We are just thankful to be home, and to have you and Uncle Rhett back." He offered politely, displaying the manners that Melanie and Mammy had so painstakingly instilled from his earliest days.

"Wade Hampton, you have grown so handsome, just like your father. It's almost impossible to think that you are nearly a grown man, but you are. And such a fine man. I'm proud of the man you have become."

Rhett then took the opportunity to clear his throat. "I'm sure that we are all ready for a nice meal. Why don't we go ahead and move into the dining room before I expire from hunger."

Scarlett stared at him perplexed as to why he would be ending such a reunion between her and her children. "I'm not that hungry. I'm quite pleased to see the children."

"As am I. But I know that the children were quite hungry on the way here, and I know that you were so hungry a few minutes ago...." He paused and motioned towards the dining room.

Scarlett frowned, but took his lead and followed behind him with Ella's small hand clutching her own. They all took their seats and soon plates appeared before them. After polite conversation and discussions of what the children had been doing since they had been at Tara, Ella turned to her mother who was in the seat beside her, "Momma, where did you go?" She finally asked unwilling to let go of her hand.

"I was really sad, and I guess I let myself think too much about being sad. And then I went to visit Uncle Rhett at his mother's house, and then I went to Ireland to see where my Pa lived when he was little boy." Scarlett tried to explain.

"Mother, I hate to bring this up, but I do feel that I have a right to know. If I am out of line, please stop me." Wade began.

Scarlett nodded. "Proceed."

"Some one told me that you and Uncle Rhett were divorced. I didn't know what that was, but I was shocked when they explained it to me. Is it true?" He said rushing his words together, to spit them out before he lost his courage.

Scarlett's jaw went slack from surprise at her son's boldness. But Rhett stepped in for her. "No, we aren't divorced, but there are some truths to rumors."

Then Rhett interrupted, "This was my doing. I made a mistake. I thought that I had divorced her. I regretted it as soon as I had, but I didn't know where she was because my sister lied to me. We weren't going to tell you, unless we had to. But we should have realized that even out at Tara you wouldn't be immune to the gossip."

"I'm sorry, Sir, mother, if I seem impudent, but what changed?"

"Your mother came back from Ireland and told me that she was going to have a baby. And I wanted us to be a family again. I love her. I was very wrong." He replied, concealing the truth of how very near he had been to marrying someone other than their mother.

Wade's eyes clouded over at the admission, and he remained silent, contemplating the situation. Silence descended upon the room as Ella wiggled nervously in her seat, and Rhett and Scarlett stared at Wade's taut expression. Ella fiddled with the remaining food on her plate, and no one else moved.

Rhett finally spoke again. "I made many mistakes. And I will do whatever I can to repair some of the damage that my ill- advised actions have caused. I was so lost after Bonnie...."

"It's all right, Uncle Rhett. We are just happy to be home." Wade finally relented calmly.

"Momma, you are going to have another baby?" Ella asked with a mixture of excitement and uncertainty.

"Yes. I am. Are you happy about that?" Scarlett asked.

"Mother, are you going to be well enough? I remember when I was younger...." He said worriedly.

Rhett nodded, neither could he forget the aftermath of the fall when she had lost the baby. "We're going to take good care of your mother."

Ella rose from her chair and threw her arms around her mother.

Scarlett turned in her seat and welcomed the child's embrace. "I love you, sugar. I missed you so much."

Ella nestled into her arms and buried her face into her mother's chest. "I'm so glad to be home. Aunt Suellen isn't very nice. She said terrible things about you, mother. I told her that she was a liar. She told me I was an ungrateful brat-- that I was just like my momma. I told her that I would rather be like my momma than like her."

Scarlett's fists balled in Ella's hair that she had been gently stroking. "Don't listen to her, baby. You're home and away from her, and we can start our life over again. It will be different this time."


	13. Of Song birds and Show downs

_Author's Note: Thanks to all my readers. I apologize for this being later than I intended. I had a little remodeling done at my house and it tends to get in the way of fanfiction. But I wanted all of my faithful reviewers to know how much I appreciate their input and enthusiasm, and if you take the time to review I am normally very good about replying, and answering questions if you have them. BTW.. it's that time of year so congrats to any graduate reading this!_

Scarlett was trying to take the place in her children's lives that she had never really filled. There had always been Mammy or Melanie in place to be the one to soothe and placate and shower them with the love and affection while she had kept food on the table and the wolf from the door. There had been servants around always to tuck the children into bed at night and tend to their every need. Scarlett had always had more important matters to attend to, but what they were now she had no idea.

Something was changing inside of her, but it wasn't that the change was completely natural or seamless. There were these new maternal feelings that she had never really felt before, but that fact had not changed who she was. There were still times when Ella's whining grated on her nerves and the odd looks that Wade sent her way when he thought that she wasn't paying attention nearly unnerved her. He studied her as a birdwatcher watches birds. He was quite enthralled with watching her, it seemed, but he maintained a distance between them that was distinct and obvious. Bringing her children home was not a cure all for all of the problems that had developed between those in the Butler household. Only Ella seemed capable of ignoring it with any success.

Ella's voice was like that of a lark. Scarlett could not remember if Frank had demonstrated any semblance of a singing voice, nor was she willing to ask such a question of her sister. That was certainly a topic that was never broached between the two. The truth was that Scarlett had not known much about her second husband, other than the fact that he had possessed the money necessary to save Tara when no one else did. That was all that had mattered. And during the course of their short marriage she had learned little of what had made him the man that he was. Certainly she had known what his favorite food was and what he liked to drink in the evenings, but little else. She hadn't really known much about him at all, let alone if he could sing. It had never come up.

And Scarlett's voice was pleasant enough, although at times it seemed to be slightly off key, at least according to Rhett who had teased her about it many times. But Scarlett found that playing the piano again after so many years was very soothing. There hadn't been time to play since the war ended. Life at Tara had been so exhausting, and once the familiar chords had died away she had not thought to try them again like the lessons of many year before would never be done again, she had never managed to resume the activity. But now, it seemed, was the time to rediscover it, allowing it be a soothing balm once again. She and Ella would sit at the grand piano on the Third floor and play and sing for hours. There was no one to listen to them. It didn't matter if the notes were the right notes or if the words were the right words. There was a freeing abandon as the music danced from the keys and hung in the air about them. It was a marvel to her that she could find such enjoyment from spending time with one of her children. As her fingers made their way across the smooth ivory keys in a steady rhythm, she found peace and contentment, even if that feeling was fleeting.

And yet the there was distance between Wade and his mother that she had no idea how to gap. Nothing that she said seemed to be able to displace his reticence at mending fences although he was very watchful of her and everything that she did. He was distant and aloof, and he spent hours in the library reading books and following other pursuits that had never been of any interest to Scarlett. Wade was quiet and bookish like his father and aunt and his other Hamilton relations. And it seemed that there would never be a way to make up for the time after Bonnie's death when he had seemed to lose both parents as well as his younger sister.

But where Wade was merely aloof to Scarlett, he was hostile to Rhett. If Rhett was in the same room, Wade's angry bitter eyes followed him where ever he went. Life could not remain as it currently was. Wade was a storm ready to unleash it fury upon his step-father, who was already well prepared for the attack.

It began simply enough. Both Ella and Scarlett were resting in the heat of the afternoon as had become their custom, and Wade had contented himself to lounge lethargically under the shade of one of the trees in the backyard with a copy of Shakespeare's Julius Caesar before him.

Rhett was tired of living in a house with Wade exactly as he had once lived with Scarlett. He had had enough, so he ventured out in the yard ready for the confrontation that had been brewing since the children had returned. "So what are you reading?" Rhett asked when he found where Wade had sprawled out.

"Julius Caesar." He replied shortly. His eyes did not leave the page, and other than the clipped words that he had offered, he made no other acknowledgement of his stepfather's presence.

"Are you enjoying it?" Rhett pushed for a further response.

"Yes." Wade again answered with as little response as possible without being outright disrespectful.

"Et tu, Brute?" Rhett ventured.

Wade's eyes left the page, angry snapping in the depths that was much more like his O'Hara side than that of the Hamiltons.

"So, you are angry with me?" Rhett again prodded .

Wade silently glared at him, before dropping his eyes back to the book open in his lap.

"You have every right to be angry at me."

Wade's eyes once again rose from the book and he looked up at Rhett with a hint of surprise revealed in his face.

"I know that you are upset with your mother, but please, this time, all of the blame rests with me. I was the one who left her and you. I was the one you should blame. She begged me not to leave, but I did. I was wrong, Wade. You can be angry with me all that you want, but understand this.... if you do anything to upset your mother, I won't hesitate to take you out to the barn and whip you with a horse whip. She can't handle much right now, and I am counting on you to be the man that she and Melanie and Mammy raised you to be and keep her safe and happy."

Wade calmly set his book aside and rose to his feet, drawing himself up to his full height. "I will protect mother. I wasn't the one who abandoned her, nor was I the one who very nearly got her killed a few months ago. I have always been there for her." He raised his chin defiantly. "I would never have abandoned mother like you did. Not just when Aunt Melly died, but when we were fleeing Atlanta during the war. I wouldn't have left her like you did. I am a better man than that."

Rhett stared at the boy before him with little expression then he reached down and took the book from from the ground where it had fallen open. "What does this book say? Ahh, yes 'I come to bury Caesar, not to honor him.' Perhaps you are the better man, perhaps Brustus was the better man, but if you are than it is also my influence on your life that has helped to shape you."

"There is no man in my life that has been what mother or Aunt Melly really needed. I see it all very clearly now. I'm not a child, although you can't seem to wrap your mind around that. I am not a stubborn arrogant fool like you nor am I a weakling like Uncle Ashley. Yes, I can see Uncle Ashley's faults. And neither of you was good enough for Aunt Melly or Mother. I want to be nothing like you." He spoke frankly, without fear of reprisal.

Rhett's eyes carefully swept across the boy, still amazed at the changes that the time apart had wroght. He was nearly a man now. "You are correct. I have been a fool, and it nearly cost me any chance I would ever have of being happy. I nearly gave all of that up because of pride. I don't want you to make the same mistake."

Wade glared back at his step-father, but a little of the hostility seemed to have dissipated. "I wouldn't harm, Mother. She's been through enough already. I'm more concerned about you being back and what will happen to her when you leave her again. That is what you have always done, isn't it?"

"Listen here, Wade." Rhett voice was now dangerously calm. "I have allowed you to speak your piece, but I am your father, and you will not speak to me like this again. You will learn to show me respect, even if I have to use methods that I would rather not employ to do so." Rhett replied silkily.

"You've never been my father." Wade shot back viciously.

"Ahh, then I take it that you have forgotten that trip we took to New Orleans not long after I married your mother when you were just a small boy. And I trust that you have also misplaced the memory of the day that your youngest sister was born." Rhett could still not utter his daughter's name at times without his throat constricting and now was not the time nor the place for such an occurrence.

"Yes, I remember it all. I remember also how you and mother got in a fight on the stairs that nearly killed her after you had taken Bonnie away for a very long time." Wade seethed.

Rhett's face for a moment showed the shock of the revelation that Wade was aware of more than anyone knew. "Pray tell, what else do you remember?"

"I heard you, you know. I know that mother couldn't wait for you to return. She was always looking over her shoulder, looking past Ella and I waiting for you and Bonnie to come back. Bonnie came running into the nursery, thinking she was the boss even though she was still not much more than a baby. And I could hear your voice, so I rushed to the door and I listened as you and mother fought. And I'll never forget those last words you said. I didn't even know what they meant at the time, I only knew that you hurt her then. It was only later that I learned what a miscarriage was. But I heard her scream as she fell. I heard her and I kept waking in the night for months after that because of it. You nearly killed her once, and that isn't all, is it?"

"You know more than is wise for you to know, son." Rhett returned with savage grace.

"It's your fault that Bonnie died too. Bonnie was too little but you let her do whatever she wanted. Mother at least loved us enough to not let us do stupid things like that."

"I think you should shut your mouth." Rhett returned.

"I think you should never have come back." He responded unflinchingly. "You hurt everyone that you claim to love. At least I know that makes Ella and I safe because you have never loved us. But better unloved than dead, right?" Wade said before turning on his heels and heading away from the house. "I'm going to go see Beau. Tell mother that I am fine."

Rhett watched in disbelief at the boy that he had watched grow from babyhood until now. He was nearly a man, and Rhett had never let a man speak to him as his stepson just had. But the words that had flowed from the boy's mouth had been so startling that he had not known how to respond. And the fact remained that perhaps Wade had not been wrong in his assessment. Perhaps Scarlett did need to be protected from her own husband.

Rhett stard at the book tat was still in his hands as he muttered uner his breath, "et, tu Brute? Et tu?"


	14. Of Boredom and Battles

_Author's Note: I can't believe that I took this long to update. I am so so sorry. Blame the fireworks, well and the fact that I was stressed about where my kids would go and what would happen to them. That situation still isn't resolved but at least the situation is better than it was. All of the stress and busyness seemed to totally drain all creativeity. Well I survived fireworks, so here is a long awaited update. I need to update Up From the Ashes as well and work on my ficathon and then there is that whole list of stories to write. And it is also possible that I might go back to college and get a second bachelors and possibly a third. But I still hope to have time for fanfiction, but possibly not as much. So thanks again! Hope you enjoy the chapter._

Rhett was surprised then to find Wade calmly sitting at the dinner table that evening as if none of the events of earlier in the day had happened. But he was completely cordial to his mother and sister, and even polite to his stepfather. Yet Rhett understood that one way or the other, this fragile pax neither would nor could last for long. He only hoped that when the situation reached its most crucial moment that Scarlett and the baby would not pay the price for his misdeeds.

It never ceased to amaze him just how hopelessly naive Scarlett could be about things after all that she had gone through to get to this point in her life. And yet she still was in some ways unchanged from that gullible child that had believed that Ashely had loved her and it would take no more effort to win his hand than to win the hands of those other fools that were falling all about her.

Now she was just as certain that she could win her children's love and make them a family. It would have been amusing, had the situation not seemed so dire, to watch the determined expression settling upon her face. She was a force to be reckoned with, and he knew better than to try and stop her. It was pointless to try. But Rhett was not convinced. It would take much more than sweet words and Scarlett's charm and attention, powerful though they were, to change the course of their family history. It was as they said, Rome wasn't built in a day, neither could the amalgam of people that were held together by thin ties of blood and marriage quickly become close and erase the mistakes and hurts of days gone by.

But even Wade seemed awed as his mother paid him the attention that he had hungered for all of his life. She listened intently to his discussion, although Rhett was certain that she had no idea what he was talking about. When it came to matters of history and literature, she was woefully ignorant. But she was a skilled actress , and he son was completely enthralled. And he was almost as charming as his mother, but he was still unaware of his magnetism.

"Right now, I'm reading Julius Caesar right now. It's terribly bloody. I've tried to work it into conversation. Earlier I told Beau, 'Et tu, Brute.' " WAde glanced at his stepfather as he continued. "Uncle Ashley said that it was one of his favorite of Shakespeare's plays." He looked intently at his mother and then whispered conspiratorially, "I want to read Titicus Andronicus. I heard that it is the bloodiest of Shakespeare's play."

"I don't believe I have read that one." Scarlett replied, as if she were truly interested in a discussion of the works of the Bard. Rhett however could tell by the slight wrinkling of her brow that not only had she not read of that play, she had not even heard of it before Wade had mentioned it.

He couldn't help but remember the first time had seen that expression upon her face. He had watched her from afar as the rest of her beaus had deserted her when the discussion turned to talk of the coming war, leaving Charles Hamilton behind to moon over her. She was sadly ignorant when it was obvious that young Charles had had a top notch education. She had pretended to listen all the while understanding none of the allusions that he made.

What was it that she had said? Certainly he couldn't have forgotten. 'The Borgias? Who are they? Are they someone in the county?" That was it, or at least something very near to that. Of course Scarlett had not known the history of Florence, she was excelling to know who the president was or who the current queen of England was. Unless it was immediately of relevance to know, she did not. Ashley had given a sympathetic look to Charles who was already completely smitten. Charles never had had a chance to understand the perplexity of intelligence and ignorance of the woman who was the mother to his only off spring.

But how intrigued he had been by Scarlett that day. Her dress had been pulled inappropriately low revealing her bosom. She had an unconventional beauty, or perhaps he was so enthralled by her spirit to realize that her features were too sharply contrasted. He had wanted her then, and further contact only amplified that longing.

If he had any less control over himself, he might have taken her that day in the library or any of the countless moments that they had been alone together. There had certainly been enough of those moments. She had more compromised than the girl in Charleston ever had. For a moment as he watched her heaving bosom he had fantasized about making her his there on the floor of the library, capturing such incredible will for his own. He had imagined breaking through unbreached barriers and bringing her to the heights on sensation that she had never known.

She had been so willful, and yet still very naïve at the ripe old age of sixteen, still nothing more than a foolish girl who would have grown into a very different person had the was not come.

He had imagined, though knowing her as he did now he knew it an impossibility, but he had thrilled at the thought of her responding to him, her soft unmarred flesh melding with his own tanned skin. Yes he certainly had wanted to take her take that day...

"Rhett, were you listening?" Scarlett interrupted his thoughts starring at him oddly, trying to understand the strangeness of his expression.

"Excuse me, Scarlett, children, I must have been daydreaming. I believe that you were talking about the works of Shakespeare. Please continue and forgive me for my deplorable manners." Rhett tried to smoothly cover his distraction, but he noticed that Scarlett was carefully studying him and he wondered if she finally was able to read his emotions in his eyes. She certainly had had more than enough time to learn it.

Wade glared at his step father before continuing. "As I was saying, I do enjoy reading them all. I also enjoy reading a good history as well. Although of course I haven't had much of a chance while out at Tara. There was too much to do for me to have time for much else." He said before spooning a bite of food into his mouth.

"I'm so sorry darling." Scarlett responded. "I never should have sent you there. I should have kept you with me. I wish that I hadn't been such a dreadful mother to you." And her mannerisms and her voice did not tremble in that manner that she employed when she was being deceptive. Her expression was wholly genuinely filled with remorse.

"Mother, you are not to blame for being unable to take care of us. You were completely distraught with grief. It is a man's place to shoulder that burden. I only wish that I could have done for you what you did for everyone during the war since you had no one that you could rely upon." Their was chill in his voice and everyone in the room understood the accusations that he was hurling not upon his mother, but upon Rhett.

Ella's voice chirped in quickly, "I'm so glad to be home mother. It is so nice to be away from Susie and Aunt Sue. They are awful to be around."

Scarlett smiled at Ella grateful for the distraction. However Rhett did not take the offered olive branch by Ella. Instead he chose to address the situation. "I have let you say far more than I should have, than I have let any other man ever say to me, and you, my boy, are not a man. From now on you will bite your tongue before speaking any of your pointed comments." He glanced to his side and saw Ella nervously twisting one of her gingery curls and Scarlett completely silent and equally uncomfortable. "Scarlett, I think that you should take Ella upstairs and tell her about the Saint Cecelia Ball. I'm sure that she is interested." He motioned with his head towards the door.

Scarlett timidly shook her head. "No, I think that we should all finish our meal in peace."

"There will be no peace in this house until this issue is resolved. Perhaps we should step outside for a moment, wife." He said brittlely.

He was immediately at her side helping her from her chair before escorting her out the door of the over decorated room.

"Please, don't be angry with Wade, Rhett. He has much to be angry about, and he needs help dealing with it." Scarlett tried interceding on her sons behalf.

"I realize all that he has gone through, but the boy must learn to respect his elders whether ot no they are perfect. My father took a buggy whip to me for no good reason, and Wade has given me many reasons to punish him."

Tears formed in Scarlett's eyes as she tried to persuade Rhett against taking action. "Please let me try. I know that he has no right to speak to you that way. But he is just as stubborn as I am and as you are, and taking a whip or switch to him will only make him resent you even more. Just please let me try." She pleaded.

"I don't want you in the middle of this. You are far too fragile to tolerate all of this mess."

"I am already in the middle of this, and I will be more worried if you try to stop me from having my say. I know that you think that I have changed, and in some ways I have, but Rhett Butler, don't think that just because I have finally grown up that I have lost the ability to protect those I love." She lifted her chin, a determined gleam in her eyes.

"I know that you are only trying to protect him, but you don't want your son to grow up to be a weakling, nothing like you. Strong parents, survivors try to protect their children from the world, and in turn make children a million times weaker than themselves." He explained.

"Just give me a chance to get through to him. He has only just gotten home. He needs a little time to settle back into life here." Scarlett begged.

"I'll give you a few days to get through to him, but if he says so much as another word, I can not be held responsible for my actions. He must get that viper tongue under control before I find myself ripping it from his mouth. And I don't want you to be involved in any fighting or arguing. You are not only responsible for your own health now. There is another life completely dependent upon you."

"I am well aware of the limitations placed upon me. We can handle this."

Rhett grinned, his white teeth gleaming in the dim lights of the hall. " I was a fool to ever doubt you. There is nothing that you can't manage." He leaned over and brushed her lips with his. "You know, watching you in there listening to Charles Hamilton's son extolling the virtues of Shakespearian tragedies I was suddenly reminded of watching you at the barbecue listening to his father spouting intelligent ramble about Renaissance rulers of Florence. You had the exact same look on your face as you did then just now."

"I was wondering what you were thinking. Is that what had you so distracted?"

He grinned his wolfish grin. "That was how the thought process began. I must admit that all of my thoughts were not so wholesome. I remembered fantasizing about making love to you on the library floor at Twelve Oaks."

Her face blushed a deep red at his confession. "That explains it then. I didn't think that watching me have the same expression that I did nearly a decade and a half ago would make you lose your cool."

She reached her hand up and traced the now prickly surface of his cheek and tugged at his collar with her other hand and pulled him down towards her. His breath was sweet upon her face before their lips met in a kiss that was filled with lightning intensity. She pulled away when both of their breathing was ragged and shallow. "Think of that and what else may follow as long as you ignore Wade. Let me at least talk to him and then we can discuss other measures."

"AS you wish, my pet. As you wish." He grinned as he followed her into the dinning room only staying long enough to politely dismiss himself from the table and take his leave.S


	15. Of Changes and Children

_Author's Note: Sorry that this update was later than promised. I know it lacks much of the drama of some of the earlier chapters, but I felt that it was needed. And this is certainly a little less dark than my latest chapter of Scallawag.... Speaking of Scallawag I just ordered some more history books for research. I want it to be right. Thanks to all of my reviewers! I appreciate your encouragement so much, and Blaquecat I apologize beforehand for any typos. I tried to ctach them, but of course that means nothing.I'm willing to bet that they are still there._

Wade was glaring at the door that Rhett had shut behind him, and Scarlett set her lips into a thin line. "Wade so tell me what you were doing while I was at Tara."

He smiled cordially and began to list the limitations of a country school. "The Misses Tarelton were not the most prepared teachers. And some of the county boys took to tormenting them with frogs and such. But they were unsuccessful in riling them. They seemed immune to things that most women are squeamish about.

Scarlett laughed, "Of course those things wouldn't bother them, Wade. Goodness they had to be impervious to by an early age having four brothers around. Brent and Stuart alone were enough to keep anyone occupied."

"What were they like mother?" Wade asked solemnly.

"None of the girls in the county and I got along terribly well." Scarlett replied.

"Was it because you were so pretty mother?" Ella bubbled.

"Well, no...." Scarlett began.

"I would imagine that Hetty and Randa haven't changed much mother, but I'd like to know about the boys that you grew up with that died in the war." He said with a gleam of pride in his eyes.

"I don't like to talk about it much..." Scarlett offered as a way to deflect the question.

"Was my daddy one of the county boys?" Ella quizzed.

"Not exactly. He was older than my friends...my other friends" she corrected.

"And my father was from Atlanta." Wade puffed up proudly. "Aunt Melly used to tell me stories about him before you got married. He went to Harvard, and he was going to go to Europe on a grand tour, but he didn't get a chance before the war began." He smiled wistfully. "I wish that I had known him. I would have been so proud of having a father like that."

Ella bounced in her seat, "when did you meet my father?"

Scarlett frowned. "I don't remember. I had known him as long as I could remember. He once courted Aunt Sue before the war."

Wade interrupted impatiently. "I want to hear about Brent and Stuart and Rafe and Boyd and Tom, and and Joe... you know Little Joe's father."

Scarlett smiled. "I was the closest to Brent and Stuart and Cade. I wasn't always a lady like I should have been, but they were so much fun to spend time with."

"Why didn't you marry one of them?" Ella asked innocently.

"I don't know. It wasn't as if they hadn't asked...." Scarlett was interrupted by Wade.

"Well of course you saw my father at the Barbecue and he was so charming that you knew that he was the one. Right mother..." Wade prodded.

"Of course. He was very sweet, and he did look handsome, so much like you that I could have sworn that it was him when I saw you earlier and not my little boy. And besides I married him didn't I." She stated in voice that only could fool the two children sitting beside her.

"What about my father?" Ella asked.

"He saved our family. When I married she saved all of us. He was a good and kind man Ella. He truly was a gentleman. Before the war he was the richest man in the county." Scarlett added, the vote of wealth still held value to her. "But I don't like to talk about them...."

Ella's eyes grew large, "Did we make you sad? Oh, momma I'm sorry." She cried.

"Don't be a ninny about it. I'm fine. I think however that it is getting late and we should all rest." She told the children,

"May I be excused?" He asked, revealing the fine manners that had been instilled in him from his earliest years.

"Of course, Wade. I'm so glad to be home and have you back home." Scarlett said as Wade gave her a quick hug as he prepared to leave the room.

Mother, where should I stay?" Wade's chocolaty eyes implored.

"Oh." Scarlett paused. She hadn't considered that the children's prior sleeping arrangements would not be proper now. Wade was too much of a man to still be sleeping in the nursery with his younger sister. "Well, perhaps you could have Uncle Rhett's old room, and Ella can stay in the nursery. Will that work?"

"Shouldn't you ask Rhett first?" Wade said shortly.

"No, Rhett and I will share a room. It won't be any problem, no problem at all."

"I don't think he'll appreciate it. I can take the room next to the nursery. I have always liked that room." He added.

"Well, if you'd rather, then I'm sure that I don't mind. We'll have to talk to someone about redecorating for you. I'll let you choose whatever you like." Scarlett offered magnanimously, all the while thinking that everything was going perfectly.

"Mama, can you come up and have tea party or read to me?" Ella smiled charmingly.

"I think that I probably need to rest, but if you would like to bring a book in to my room then I think that I could manage. Pick whatever story that you want." She added before turning to Wade, "you are welcome as well."

"No thank you, I'm too old to be read to. And I highly doubt that I would be interested in what Ella would choose. I think I would rather go check the library and see if there is anything that I would like to read. Uncle Rhett does have good taste even if I don't have the highest opinion of him and his actions." Wade tossed out as he left the dining room.

Scarlett rose from her seat and took Ella by the hand. "Come on darling. Let's go rest."

"All right, momma" she replied, obviously pleased to be at her mother's side with the promise of attention directed solely at her. "I missed you momma."

Scarlett and Ella left the dining room hand and hand and began the journey up the stairs. Only a few steps up and Scarlett was feeling lightheaded and clung tightly to the ornate railing. "Momma, are you sick?" Ella asked worriedly.

"I'm... I'm fine." She consoled, but unconvincingly.

"You aren't fine. You should be trying to handle these stairs. They are too high for you." Rhett offered from behind.

Scarlett spun around, "I didn't know that you were still here, I thought that you might have left."

"Ella run along up stairs, I'll be in to check on you in a few minutes." Rhett instructed with a stern look.

"But momma was going to read to me." She said in a tone the revealed her fear at being ignored once again.

"Don't worry she will read to you, or I will read and she will brush your hair. Hurry on upstairs and we will both spend time with you." Rhett said as Ella nodded and scampered up the stairs.

"Now, I'm afraid that you are stuck with me. And don't try to change the subject. I'm not letting you roam around this house at will. You need to be resting, and climbing this mountain of stairs I don't think qualifies as rest. Remember how fragile everything is right now. I just want to keep you safe." He swung her up into his arms.

"You won't be able to do that much longer. I know that in no time, I will be bigger than a house." She sighed disconsolately.

"Good God, I hope that you don't mean bigger than this house, but I'm sure that I couldn't manage that. No one could." But he bent his head and kissed her lips gently. "I think you always look beautiful. I think that nothing could change that."

She stared at him distrustfully. "I don't believe you."

"Would you like me to prove it to you that I love and am attracted to you?" He grinned with a glint of passion in his dark eyes. "But no, I just promised Ella that she would get to spend time being the center of attention which she never has been. I think that its high time that she is a little pampered. She hasn't had it any easier than we have."

"It's been a long time since you have carried me up this staircase." Scarlett tittered playfully.

"It's been years." He said, but a darkness had settled over him like storm cloud blocking the sun. His brow was furrowed and his expression be described as nothing other than pensive.

"What are you thinking of?" She asked as they reached the top of the stairs.

"I was thinking of all of the mistakes that have come between us since that night. I was a fool." He said simply.

"But, I don't understand." She frowned. It was not that she didn't know of what mistakes he had made, but more to the fact that he had never really acknowledged how much of the fault of the destruction of their marriage rested on his shoulders.

"I was hurting, and I couldn't deal with seeing you hurting as well. And so after the fall I avoided you. I knew just how much pain I had caused, and I couldn't stand to see you grieving for a child that I had suggested was not mine, and that I hoped that you would miscarry. With all of the things that I shouldn't have said in my lifetime, that would be the one I most grievously regret." For a moment he was gone, his mind and eyes in another time. "You looked like a rag doll that one of the children has carelessly tossed aside. Your body was so twisted that I knew that you must be dead, and that I was the on guilty of your blood. I was afraid to touch you after that, afraid that something else that I would say would harm you once again."

"I wanted you. I wanted to call for you, but I knew that if I did that you wouldn't come because you hated me." She answered softly.

"And why would you have believed any differently. We lived like complete strangers, cordial and polite but reaching no further than a careful polished veneer. And then when Bonnie died ..."

"Rhett don't. Please. I'm sorry. I made a mistake. I shouldn't have said what I did, and I hate for you to remember. I wish that I could take them back." She tried in vain to stem the flow of words that he had been withholding for far too long.

"No, it wasn't you. I felt so guilty about her death. Even if you hadn't said a thing I would have still worn that guilt. And I knew that you were hurting, and I knew you didn't understand, but as much pain as I was in I couldn't stand to see you in pain. Because it was my fault. Everything was collapsing around my ears, and everything stemmed from something that I had done. And for the first time in years I wasn't a cavalier rogue, I was a father and a husband, and I could do nothing to hold it together. I had failed, and the one thing that I had never done was fail in my own eyes. And I had hurt you so much, and I was hurting so much that I couldn't feel the pain any longer. I couldn't feel anything, but that doesn't excuse anything that I did or said."

Tears had gathered in her eyes, and she swiped at them, trying to prevent them from trickling down her face. After a moment of silence as she digested his words, her chin tilted up and she spoke. "It doesn't matter now. We have a chance to be happy. We can't look at the past. We can't stay there. We have to enjoy what we do have."

"That's what you mean when you talk about saving it for tomorrow to think about, isn't it. Its how you survived everything that you did. You compartmentalized everything and hide it away from even yourself. Sometimes I wish that I was half as strong as you are. I don't think I ever thought about how much you went through as young as you were. You were just a girl who did the impossible to save her family and her home." He opened the door and carried her to the bed.

"I had to. Someone had to take care of things. If I hadn't we would have been much worse off than we were."

"You are so brave, my pet, so very, very brave." He stepped away from the bed. "I'm going let Ella know that you are ready for her."

"I'll just lie here and rest. It's not like you'd let me do anything else." she said with a smile trying to lighten the heaviness that had overshadowed them.

"Then don't forget it." He said with a false bravado. "I will be checking back on you in just a minute."

"Just go get Ella. If you don't hurry, she will have picked out so many books that I won't get any sleep tonight because she we will want me to read all of them."

"Fine, fine. I'm going," he said with a chuckle as he shut the door behind him while Scarlett watched, waiting for him to return.


	16. Of Stories and Sentiments

_Author's Note: Apparently going back to school made my life a little more hectic than I thought that it would, but here finally is an update. I hope that you enjoy it. Its a fairly lightheated one._

When he returned, Ella's arms were indeed spilling over with books. She clutched several heavy tomes which held the collected works of Charles Perrault, the brother's Grimm, and several works by Hans Christian Anderson.

"Did you find enough books, Ella?" Scarlett asked with raised eyebrows.

"I couldn't decide. I thought you might like to choose, momma." Ella replied as she struggled to keep from dropping the heavy stack.

Scarlett was annoyed that Rhett hadn't carried the books for Ella. The reason, however, was made clear as he entered the room with his arms overflowing with dolls and stuffed animals. Scarlett couldn't help but giggle at the sight even as he explained, "She couldn't choose which of her dolls to leave behind since she hadn't seen them in so long."

"I didn't want them to feel left out," Ella said brightly. "That would make them sad. And I didn't want them to be sad."

For the first time Scarlett wondered if Ella had been jealous of her younger sister and all of the attention that she had once claimed. "Well, even if you had left them, they would know that you love them just as much. Sometimes mommas must take turns." Scarlett offered gently. It felt so odd to be sympathetic to her child, to understand what she was going through.

It seemed that Rhett also realized what he had done to this gentle, giddy little girl. "You know that we love you very much, Ella, don't you? Because we do." He leaned over and kissed the top of her ginger curls.

"I know." She smiled. "Are you going to stay and read with us, Uncle Rhett?"

He smiled, "milady, your wish is my command."

She giggled as she climbed onto the bed. "Momma, why did you have to get a bed that is so tall? I'm almost nine and I have to climb to get up here."

Rhett chuckled, "because your mother likes for things to be impressive. And the larger scale that they are built on the more impressive she thinks that they are."

"I'm still in the room," Scarlett replied crossly.

"Yes, I know my pet. I find your penchant for ostentation endearing." He said as he deposited a heap of dolls upon the coverlet.

"What's that word mean, Uncle Rhett?" Ella asked in confusion.

"It means that your mother likes things to make people go oooo and awe when they see it and think wow! That cost a lost of money." Rhett laughed with mirth.

"Rhett, don't be vulgar. This bed makes me feel like a queen, and don't all little girls like to feel like a princess?" Scarlett offered.

"I like the way that momma said it better. And besides, if momma is the queen then that makes me a princess!" Ella grinned triumphantly.

"Then perhaps I need to buy you both ermine capes and jewels worthy of your status. I am but your lowly servant." Rhett bowed in mock servitude.

"No, Uncle Rhett. You are the King! The King is married to the Queen!" Ellen explained, her hands dancing as she spoke.

Scarlett yawned, and this caught Rhett's attention. "I think that perhaps we need to choose a story before the queen slips into a deep sleep."

"If she did then, you could kiss her to wake her up!" Ella offered wisely.

"Perhaps then we should read 'The Sleeping Beauty in the Woods' ". Rhett offered. It seems only appropriate.

"Oh, I do love that story!" Ella chirped, as she fumbled through the books. "Oh, here it is!" She eventually exclaimed triumphantly. She held the book out to Scarlett who hesitated to take it.

Rhett reached for the book and opened it to the page that the story began on. His deep voice had a musical tone to it as he began to read, that rose and fell like crashing waves upon the shore. But his prediction had been quite accurate, within minutes Scarlett's eyes had fallen shut and she lay limp against her pillow. Ella too, had been more tired than she would have admitted. She snuggled against her mother's side, her hair spread like a halo around her. He marveled at the forgiving nature of this child who had been wronged numerous times over the years. She had been overlooked and ignored, while she had watched her younger and fairer sister treated like a little princess. And yet she didn't seem to hold a grudge against him or her mother for their mistakes. She was truly a special child.

Rhett lifted her in his arms. She was still very slight despite the fact that she thought that she was very nearly grown. She stirred in his arms. Her cherry lips whispered, "momma".

"Shhhh..... your momma is sleeping, and its time for you to go to bed as well, my little sleeping beauty." And he could see Bonnie and Scarlett both reflected in the contours of her face. She had taken longer to become pretty, but she was looking more and more like her mother every time he saw her.

He carried her to the nursery and gently laid her down on her bed and covered her up. It felt so odd and wrong. He hadn't carried a child to bed since Bonnie's death. And he felt guilty for that moment when he wished that it was Bonnie in his arms instead of Ella. It didn't mean that he didn't love Ella, only his heart still ached for his lost child. He had never put the children to bed without Mammy's presence. The memory of those who were gone would always be with him.

He brushed a gentle kiss on Ella's forehead and slipped out of the room. He headed back to his bedroom, but not without peaking into Wade's new room. The boy had fallen asleep as well. He was slumped over the desk, his head resting on the open book in front of him. Rhett went to him and blew out the candle that he had been reading by. He was going to leave the boy alone. Rhett himself had fallen asleep many times just like Wade, and he had survived it.

He crept quietly back into the bedroom that he was once again sharing with Scarlett. He disrobed and slipped into the bed beside his sleeping wife who was snoring lightly.


	17. Of Ponderings and Problems

_Author's Note: Here is another chapter. Apparently at the moment I am back in the writing groove. Merry Christmas everyone, although if you read my other stories you should see a few more updates before then!_

Days slipped past them as Scarlett strengthened and seemed to be growing more steady, but that did not prevent Rhett from hovering about. Nor did it prevent Scarlett from growing irritated as her period of confinement began. She had never been one to sit inside and take things from the sidelines. She preferred to be out in the action at all times, however at the point in time, that was not possible. And the knowledge of that grated at her.

"Oh, Rhett, seriously, it will not harm me to go for the occasional carriage ride. Don't you feel it? These walls are closing in on me?" Scarlett pleaded.

"I wonder, what you would think about listening to the old pea hens remarking at your riding about town, when your condition is quickly becoming obvious, not that they didn't already know through word of mouth from the good doctor." He smirked, "And not that they aren't already talking about you, since that is what they seem to do best."

She glanced down and frowned. "I hate this. I hate getting fat. I'm not even half way through and already my clothes are too snug around my midsection."

He didn't comment, for her knew the power of her vanity. "As delicate as things are with your condition, I think that you should stay in. If you'd like to go down and sit on the terrace, I would be more than happy to join you. And besides, weren't you the one saying that you would be happy to do whatever was needed to keep this child safe. Or has that fact escaped your mind." he asked without a trace of mockery held within the bland expression of his face.

"No, it hasn't, but you don't know what its like...." she protested.

"But I do know what it is like to feel like I might lose you. You've put me through that more times than I care to think about." He paced back and forth in front of her, his hand buried in his hair. "God, Scarlett, do you know what that does to me? Do you even care? I told you that I wouldn't risk my heart a third time, and yet here I am. Don't ask this of me."

She was about to retort hotly that she felt like a prisoner, but then he turned to face her. At the anguished, tortured expression in his eyes, she went silent. "Listen, I know you hate this, and I will do whatever I can to alleviate your boredom and make this bearable, but damn it, Scarlett. Don't go and make this harder and put yourself in danger."

She sighed disconsolately, "I'm sorry, Rhett."

"I wish that you were more easily entertained by novels and handwork, but I believe hell would freeze over before you could tolerate such tedium." He chuckled darkly.

"I'll survive, even if I am miserable for the entire course of this inconvenience." She huffed.

"I wonder what life would have been like if you hadn't returned when you did. What would you have done if instead of receiving a letter telling of our divorce, what if you had instead been informed of my marriage to Miss Hampton?" Rhett questioned.

"What kind of question is that? I don't know. I probably would have stayed there and bought some outrageous place that when you saw it you would be pea green with envy." She simpered.

"Oh, certainly I can see it, you would buy some haunted castle that no one else would consider. The Irish are a very superstitious people, not that you would be bothered by that." He watched her as he spoke. "Would you have told me about my child?"

""Eventually." She said in a clipped voice. "I think that I would be worried that you would take my child from me, so I would want the child to know that it was loved by its mother before you had the chance to try and steal my child's love" She could see it that he was furious, which was a rarity in him allowing his emotions to show.

"What gives you the right to keep my child from me?" He demanded.

"It doesn't matter. You would have been the bigot that married another woman. How dare you get angry at me for what I might have done because of your stupid actions! Don't sit there and think that you have any right to lecture me. I was the wronged one, not you. I have bent over backwards to try and make things work, and then you banished me. And then you tried to divorce me, you arrogant bastard. Don't sit there in judgment on me!" Her voice was filled with indignation.

"You were going to keep my child from me!" He roared.

"We are having an argument over a hypo...hipothet...." She argued.

"Hypothetical, is the word you are trying to find." He inserted smugly.

"Fine, whatever! It didn't happen. Perhaps I'm wrong, perhaps I would have come back anyway and threw myself on your mercy with our child in my shawl." She cried. Then she turned to him, "How can you be so cruel, Rhett. This is pointless!" She rose from the chair and stormed towards the stairs, but Rhett was immediately at her heels.

"Where do you think that you are going?" He asked. Taking her by the arm.

"What business is it of yours? You think I'm such a terrible person, I don't know why you would bother," as she tried to twist out of his grasp.

"Because you are my wife." He reasoned, suddenly cool and collected.

"Only when it benefits you or your argument to remember." She retorted hotly.

"Come on, Scarlett. You are right, it was only a hypothetical situation. Can you imagine it, you dressed as an Irish peasant living in a hovel so filled to the brim with children that they stack them upon each other." He chuckled. "Its quite the interesting image. I can't imagine you there. It isn't your place, and I seriously doubt that it could ever be. You and our baby belong with me and with Wade and Ella." He paused for a moment, "In this scenario, what would you have done with Wade and Ella?"

She was obviously annoyed at his questioning, "I don't know. Rhett, really what does it matter? It isn't real. What we have now, this is the only thing that is." Scarlett brow was furrowed as she glared at him, her gaze for intense that she nearly saw through him.

He was watching her cautiously, his gazing falling to her middle. "I apologize, you really shouldn't be bothered with such matters now. This was truly a pointless conversation. I forgot myself." He released her arm and bowed slightly. "Please allow me escort you to your bedroom. I'm certain that you need a rest after such an encounter."

"That's it! Stop it! Just stop it! Quit treating me as if I were made from glass. This isn't the first time that I've been with child!"

"Yes and if you recall I didn't take care the last time with tragic consequences. I won't repeat the same mistake again. I won't risk you or this child. You have to remember that this is all for our child, our last chance at having the life that I always wanted with you. I know that it isn't what you used to dream of, but its a damn sight better than the alternatives." He paced as he spoke, his eyes snapping with passion.

"Don't tell me that you are bringing up Ashley again!" She spat, seething with anger. "Sometimes I think you were the one obsessed with him instead of me. It was always jealousy of him that drove you to whatever mad course you chose to pursue. Stop dwelling on him! You are giving him or the ideal of him the power. You are a fool to constantly sit in his shadow, because that shadow is only in your mind."

"You are right, of course. I am not going to fight with you anymore." He told her solemnly, his face as bland and impassive as stone.

"You insufferable man! You drive me crazy!" She said stomping up the stairs forcefully, as he followed at her heel, her heels clicking against the slick surface. She turned and snapped at him, "Leave me alone. Quit following me!" She teetered slightly in her rage and his arms were quickly around her, pulling her against his chest. She was mortified and terrified and that sudden flash of fear had rendered her silent, as she leaned limply against him.

He was silent as well, taking in the moment, appreciating that irony of the situation, and thanking heaven that this time had turned out differently. They stood together in absolute silence for what seemed a lifetime, both of their breathing harsh and labored from the fear that had instantly descended upon them. When his heart stopped racing so strongly, he scooped her up in his arms and took the rest of the stairs in stride. Neither spoke as he carried her to her bed. The only sound was the muffled sobs of Scarlett as she buried her head in his chest as he set down on the bed and clutched her to his chest as a child clutching at their favorite toy in a storm.

When her sobbing had diminished, he finally spoke. "I'm sorry, Scarlett. I'm sorry for everything. A thousand thoughts have bombarded me this afternoon, but the greatest was that I needed to tell you just how sorry for everything that I have put you through, for the loss of our baby, for the insults and accusations," he looked away for a moment. "For Bonnie's death."

She immediately began to protest, but he silenced her. "No I need to say this. I need to let you know this weight that I have been carrying, that I carried out the door with me when I left you. It wasn't you failings that drove me away, it was my own."

She watched him with wet eyes, tears still hung suspended on her ebony lashes. "It doesn't matter now Rhett."

"It sure as hell matters. I was like a scared child, and I never took the time to tell you the truth or to accept just how much of a weakling that I was." He watched her in silence for a moment as she took in all that he was saying before continuing, "I ran every time that emotions ran too deep or I felt too much. Running seems to the only consistent treatment that I gave you. Truly it is the only thing I have ever been consistent about in my life." When she stayed silent, he continued. "When I think about how differently today could have been, how my actions might have caused yet another tragedy it makes me shudder. You don't deserve a tenth of the pain I've caused you, and you deserve so much more than I can offer you. I ruin everything beautiful and lovely and crush it."

"I don't believe that, and I don't want anyone other than you. That's what really matters isn't it?" She spoke softly, in voice showing the evident strain of the day.

"I certainly don't deserve you." He repeated.

"Shhhh ... Just hold me," she demanded softly. And so without question he complied. He lay down on the bed and held her tightly against himself, reveling in the fact that she was still with him and that she forgave him. He needed nothing more than her. And so he watched her as she slept in his arms, watched the steady rhythm of her breathing and listened to the sweet sound of the beating of her heart.


	18. Of Novels and Narratives

_Author's Note: Ahh, so in case any of you reading this story are unaware, this story was written as a joke, as an amusement for myself. Many of the writer's will find allusions to themselves and their stories, some very specifically and some vaguely. I dedicate this chapter to all of you. I hope to be able to find a resolution for this story soon. I have a new story in the works that I will not post until I get at least one story finished, and hopefully both Up From the Ashes and Gura are both nearing the End... of course that can always be changed. Thank you to all of my readers. This story is also supposed to be over the top and soap operaish. It is intended that way. Hope that everyone had a Merry Christmas and Lovely New Year!_

_Keep reading and reviewing! I love you all. _

After the incident on the stairs, Scarlett became more subdued. It wasn't that she grew to enjoy her confinement, but she tried to be more graceful in her unease. The terror of repeating such a horrorific moment from their past had shaken them both to the core, and it was evident in their interactions with one another. They were not the same polite interactions from before Bonnie died exactly, but they were missing the passion that had been just beyond their reach.

The months seemed to pass rapidly and yet conversely they seemed to inch by. But soon the hot heavy days of summer disappeared, and they welcomed the cooler pleasant temperatures of autumn. Rhett hovered even more than he had before, and Scarlett did her best to ignore this annoyance. When the temperatures finally dipped into the pleasant breeeze of the seventies, Scarlett rejoiced for the air inside the house also feel to a more agreeable level.

She spent much of her time sitting on the veranda in the backyard, trying to find something to whittle away the hours. She attempted to read several of the books that Rhett suggested, but they did not interest her. Cross-stitch and embroidery were enough to move her to tears, and there seemed little else to break up her mundane existence. She found that the most agreeable activity of the day was helping the children with their school work. It helped that Wade had proved to be quite the scholar in mathematics and yet always welcomed her aid. Ella was also doing well, and preened when her mother approved of her work.

The tension between Wade and Rhett had not dissipated. When the two were present in the same room, the air was near to crackling with the energy of it. But Rhett did not provoke him because he was unwilling to do anything that might incite Scarlett. And Wade was also protective of his mother and would not be a part of anything that might upset her.

It did not help matters that the pregnancy had been an uncomfortable one, much different than any of her prior pregnancies. Her back ached constantly, and she was easily tired, even though she denied that fact to Rhett and Wade when he questioned her. But she was certain that he could see it, that everyone in the house could see it. Even her powder could not hide the dark smudges that appeared under her eyes. And she caught him many times watching her plate for she was not as hungry as she had once been. Wade was constantly trying to bring her things that she had once eaten with relish but to no avail. The thought of food only made her nauseous.

And yet Rhett looked haunted too, and she knew that he was having nightmares. There were times when he would break out in a cold sweat in the middle of the night, trembling with fear and grief. He would wake blindly groping in her dark for her, seemingly terrified that she would not be there. And then after his breathing calmed, he would take her in his arms and hold on tightly, occasionally raining down gentle kisses that were no more than a whisper across her skin. She chose to remain silent, pretending that his distress hadn't wakened her. He was still a bit aloof when they were face to face, and she knew that he needed this time alone to reason out things.

But finally after the second episode in the same night in late in October, she could not ignore the problem any longer and so she finally questioned him. "Rhett?" She asked sleepily still groggy from the heavy sleep she had been awakened from.

"I didn't mean to wake you," was his response.

"I know that." She reached out in the darkness and scratched his back softly. "But I also know that something is wrong. I need to know what is bothering you so. You aren't sleeping. You lay there awake for hours on end. I am here beside you, did you think that I wasn't aware of it? And then when you do sleep it is never for long and then you wake in a cold sweat, so tense that I worry you might snap. I know its has to be nightmares. I have had plenty in my time, but what in a nightmare could scare you so badly?" She finished, her hand still in motion trying to offer him some sort of comfort.

"You died." He responded briskly.

"I died? But Rhett we are all going to die eventually." She countered. "I don't understand."

"No, you die before you give birth. You die in your sleep, right here in this bed. And then I am sitting at your grave talking to you, feeling like my heart is broken in a million pieces. I can't shake the image of the stone. It is as clear as a memory. If I didn't know better, if you weren't beside me now I would think that it was reality and this reality was only a dream. My hand reaches out and I trace the word 'Beloved'." He paused for a moment, gathering control. "I sure as hell am not going to write beloved on your stone." He let out a shaky breath, turning from her as if turning from her could hide the fear in the lines of his face and the grief that was etched there.

"Rhett you need to tell me all of it, you might as well get it out of your system. Look, I'm fine." She reassured rubbing a slow circle on his back.

He recoiled and jerked away from her, "No, by God you are not fine! Do you think that I haven't noticed how little that you have been eating, do you think that I could have missed the dark circles under your eyes? It terrifies me because I know that it could happen. I could leave here one morning to go to some damn business meeting and return to find you cold and still. I could lose not only you, but this child as well. I would lose everything that matters to me, and it would kill me. I didn't think that I was going to survive losing Bonnie, but I did. But I know that I wouldn't survive losing you. You are like a drug, and I would be lost forever." He shuddered in the darkness as she moved closer and her small hands rubbed up and down his arms.

"What am I supposed to do? There is nothing. I've asked Dr. Meade. Don't think that I haven't tried." Her voice was filled with anguish. "I don't want to leave you, Rhett. Not ever. But we will get through this together. We can just think about it tomorrow."

"Of course, why not put it off until tomorrow? It could be reality. Tomorrow you could be gone." He turned his face to her and the tears that he had spilled were highlighted by the cool light of the moon. "Don't sleep on your back, every time that you sleep like that I see you as in my dream laying there dead. I can't take it." He sat quietly in the darkness as she awkwardly moved across the bed to him, on her knees her hands kneading at the tense muscles in his shoulder.

"I'm sorry that I'm not any better at this," he knew that she was complaining about her awkward bulkiness. "It is so hard to move these days. I wish that the baby would hurry up and get here." She rubbed a tight knot and he groaned. "Why don't we face our fears? You have told me the worst, but what is the most ridiculous thing that you can imagine happening?"

"Ridiculous? I thought that you were talking about my nightmares?" He rebutted.

"Well tell me about the most bizarre dream that you have ever had about it." She prodded.

There was silence as he fumbled in the darkness, and then there was the flare of a match in the darkness as he lit a cigar. "I once had a dream where you were living in Ireland. You had the baby there in some castle's kitchen on a table." He paused to glance at her in the darkness. "You should have died. There was so much blood. It was after that fight that we had when you almost fell. The baby came on Halloween. There was a flood, and the doctor couldn't make it. There were horrific complications. And no one else would come. There was an Irish priest there, and I think that the blacksmith even came to help, but he refused. All of the Irish were so superstitious and there you were bleeding to death and no one would come. There was a terrific storm, and out of it appeared a witch that cut the baby out of you. She tore your womb out of your body. You were bleeding so profusely that I was sure that you were going to die."

"But think how ridiculous that was, cutting me open to take the baby? I can't imagine that. Where do you come up with this stuff?" She leaned into him and kissed the back of his head. "We are finally finding happiness, it won't be taken from us so swiftly."

"There was more." He added.

"Oh?" She asked her eyes wide.

"Oh, yes, I dreamed that after the baby was born, after you recovered that you almost married some Lord or Duke or something. You didn't tell me about the baby until she was four years old and I had arrived to rescue you from an uprising by the Irish peasants and Fenian brotherhood." He continued.

"Fenian brotherhood?" She asked. "What on earth is that?"

"It is a society that is working for an over throw of English rule in Ireland. They want a free Ireland, and they will take it by force if they get the chance." He explained.

"Oh," she leaned against him. "Please finish this story. It will never happen, but someone might think its good enough to write a book about."

Rhett snorted, "What kind of fool would ever write such a ludicrous thing as that? It's preposterous."

She patted his hand that had moved to rest on her extended abdomen. "Just go ahead and tell the story."

"You called her Cat. She had eyes just like yours, and yet she had my coloring. There was no doubt that she was mine. She trusted me immediately, but she loved you unconditionally. We escaped by hiding in a tower and waiting until morning. It was quite a bizarre dream." He finished.

"Have you ever had any other odd dreams?" She prodded, hoping to lighten the mood.

"Well, I did once dream that you had married Ashley and moved up North. You had eloped on the day of the barbecue. But you and I eventually ran into each other and fell in love. And there was that one that you ended up becoming a consort to the Prince of Wales, and the dream when I died. In that one Bonnie lived, but the day I died we had made love and from that union came a son. But he died too. In that one it seemed that everyone died. I also had a dream once where I married you because I compromised you at Twelve Oaks, it was a fairly recent one. There are several where we move out west, and one or two crazy ones that have vampires or strange beings that come from the sky. I know those occur when I have been drinking too much."

"There are several in which I return around Christmas and things eventually work out. And I recall one where I was dying after I divorced you and you came to me and gave me comfort and stayed with me as I died." He grew quiet, "I know that they are all dreams, but sometimes they take my breath away. I think one of my favorites is one where all of the things happened such as you giving birth in Ireland, but I found out when the baby was still small. I came and we finally were able to be reunited and work through the problems."

"I didn't realize that you dreamed so much."

"I do all of the time. Sometimes I dream of what ifs, what if Bonnie hadn't died, what if I could have caught you that day on the stairs, what if I had been able to help you when you asked me for the 300 dollars. Once I even dreamed that instead of marrying Frank, you became one of Belle's girls." He said with a chuckle. "The funny thing is that you were so happy about having food and pretty clothes that you didn't care that you were a whore."

She stiffened at his words, but he quickly placated her, "I laugh because I know that you could never do that. The worst part of all of these dreams is that so many of them are unfinished. I want to know what happened. I wish that they would all be resolved."

Scarlett motioned for him to follow her as she scooted across the bed to lean against the headboard. "Lay your head here." She told him, and he quickly complied. She slowly ran her fingers through his hair. "Just go to sleep. I'm here. I didn't stay in Ireland. And I'm here to stay." Then she began to croon softly one of the songs that they had sung together during the war, and she felt as her tension melted away and he slept content to be with her.


	19. Of Birthing and Blame

**_Author's Note: Sorry that this took so long to get up. Don't shoot me when you are done. The story isn't over, yet. _**

A howling, violent storm had descended upon the town. Rolling echoes of thunder shook the buildings so that the glass rattled and quivered in the window sills. The tree branches blew and snapped in the wind, littering the ground with their leaves and twigs, some of the stouter branches losing the battle as well. The evening sky was lit by the forking, cracking bolts of splintering lightning. On the edge of Atlanta, it had struck something, and the acrid smell of burning timbers mingled with the clean scent of the rain.

Inside the peachtree street mansion, Scarlett was laying on her bed. Her breath caught in her throat as another pain tore through her body. "No baby, you can't come now. Not yet, not in this storm, not on All Hallow's Eve." she whispered furtively. In her mind she recalled the dreams that Rhett had told her about, and the baby had been born indeed on the 31st of October. And despite her distress she did not want to alert Rhett to it, not yet.

However, he was too attuned to her, too familiar with reading her emotions and much too alert in his sleep for this idea to not take root. And although her voice had never risen above the faintest of a whisper, she heard Rhett as he began to stir in the bed beside her. His voice was muffled from sleep as he asked, "Are you all right?"

"I'm fine," she lied, praying that the pains were only the pains that led to nothing but more waiting. She had already had brief periods of these pains during all of her pregnancies, and she remembered her mother telling her that they were her body's way of preparing for when the child would actually come. As she peered anxiously into the darkness, she felt the bed moving slightly beneath them as he gravitated towards her and began slowly rubbing circles on her forearms. She began to relax at his touch, allowing his presence to soothe her until another pain hit, and her entire body tensed.

"Scarlett?" There was a question in his voice which was now devoid of the sleepy tone that it had previously held. He was completely alert at the distress that the instant tension in her body alerted him to. "How long have you been in labor?"

"Not long," she panted.

"Are you in pain?" He asked worriedly.

"No. I'm fine." She responded thoroughly unconvincingly to him.

"I'm sending for Dr. Meade. You should have awakened me earlier, as soon as the first pain came." He said from across the room where he had already thrown on a robe and was preparing to leave the peaceful confines of their bedroom for the warm gas lit glow of the hallway. "I'll be back in just a moment." And no sooner had he spoken, but the door was thudding shut behind him. His hurried footfalls muffled by the carpet as he rushed down the stairs.

She lay quietly in the darkness, waiting for him to return, waiting for another pain to hit, and after a few minutes it did. She gripped her hands on the sheets, trying to think of anything other than the pain. It wasn't long before Rhett returned, the faint sounds of the house rousing slipping in the door as he entered. "Dr. Meade should be here soon." Rhett comforted.

Her breath hitched as another pain hit, "Rhett, I'm scared. I'm as scared as I've ever been. Something doesn't feel right. Something is different."

He sat on the bed and took her hand and cupped her cheek in his other. "Dr. Meade will be here soon, he knows that this is an unusual pregnancy. You will get the best of care that can be given. You will be fine, and so will the baby. I will accept no other outcome."

"But Rhett, you and I both know that women die in childbirth all of the time." The flickering candle beside the bed, reflected in the tears pooling in her eyes.

"You can't even consider that now, not now. This child and you will both be fine. Haven't we both lost enough? Surely God wouldn't be so cruel as to take a third child from us." His voice was heavy with emotion as they waited together for another pain to come. He held her hand in his tightly, almost though he was willing her to give her pain to him. "Is there anything that makes it any better? Is there anything that I can do to relieve some of your pain?"

She was silent, her brilliant eyes peering at him in the dim light provided by the gas lights, since she refused to allow the window shades to be drawn. He couldn't stand to watch the pain and fear that were reflected in her eyes, so he sat down beside her and cradled her in his arms as they waited for Dr. Meade to arrive. At times her body would grow tense, and she would dig her nails into his flesh as another pain would tear through her body. Finally after one pain that had seemed to be worse than the others at least from her reaction, she finally spoke, " I think that my water broke, Rhett. There is no doubt, the baby is coming tonight."

"It is nearly the morning, the baby won't come tonight."He brushed the hair from her sweaty brow before leaning over and placing a gentle kiss there. "I love you. You do know that, don't you? I love you, and I was a fool to think that I could ever escape..."

"You want to escape?" She squawked.

"No! I thought I did, but I was a fool." She returned soothingly, hating that he had said anything that would hurt her now. "Shh, I love you. I never want to leave you again."

"I love you too..." She returned, but Dr. Meade entered the room escorted by one of the servants before she could say anything else. He immediately started asking pertinent questions and preparing the area for the labor that was to come.

Rhett knew better than to try to stay in the room while Dr. Meade was working, and so he dropped another kiss on his wife's lips before heading towards the door. "If you need anything, anything at all, I will be outside the door. I'm here. I'll never leave you again." He closed the door gently behind him and began praying like he had never prayed before. If there was a God, which he wasn't entirely convinced of, he would do anything to appease Him to have Him save Scarlett and the baby.

He didn't want to wake the children, he remembered how worried Wade had been when Scarlett was giving birth to Bonnie, and now there was a much greater reason to worry. He moved down the hallway to the nursery which was still decorated and ready, although at the moment without an occupant.

He set down on the small bed that had been Bonnie's, and he bowed his head. "God, please. Please. I know that I have done terrible horrible things, and that I don't deserve Your mercy, but please if you exist, please don't take Scarlett from these children, and don't take this child from her." The pain in his voice was raw and open. "The children have suffered enough from my mistakes, and God, I can't take another moment of them suffering because of what I have done." His eyes filled with tears, "Melanie always said that you were real, that you cared, and please can't you just show me, just this once that you are merciful, and not the God of vengeance that my father spoke of. Please save my wife and save my child."

He rose from the bed, his mind reeling with the losses that he had overcome and the losses that he very well might have to face very soon. He paced the length of the room, chewing on the end of a cigar, waiting for news. The walls of the room were closing in on him, and the loss of Bonnie was too evident in this room with her things surrounding him. He needed to escape.

Finally he left the room and paced the length of the hallway, but the sounds of Scarlett in pain made the apprehension that he felt even worse. She was hurting and scared and it was all his fault. Every instance of her pain could and should be blamed on him. The injuries from the miscarriage worried him. He knew how seriously injured that she had been, and he knew that it had been inadvisable for her to try to conceive again. The fact that Dr. Meade had urged her to have another child after Bonnie's death did nothing to soothe his fears. What would he have done if she had managed to seduce him in that dark period and then she and the baby had died. How could he have dealt with those blows all within such a short span of time, and yet hadn't Scarlett faced much the same in the short span of her life.. He always thought that she could handle anything that came her way, but for once he didn't know that she would be strong enough if she lost this baby. She wanted this child, wanted it more than anything. Any one person should have a limit to the suffering that they undergo.

Her screaming grew more intense, and he occasionally checked in on the children to make sure that they weren't awake and listening to their mother in agony. But both Wade and Ella were sound asleep -- their breathing deep and even. Her screams were tearing at his heart as they split the night asunder. He listened and prayed, waiting for the tell tale cry of an infant, but there was no such noise. He could hear Dr. Meade's voice firm and soft directing those in the room. There was the scurry of feet as they worked. Scarlett's cries had faded from screams to whimpers until finally there was no sound coming from the room. It was deathly silent now, almost eerie after her screams.

He waited impatiently for someone to come out and bring him into the room to see his child. He didn't care what the child was, who cared if it was a boy or a girl, all he wanted was a healthy child.

Finally one of the servants came to the door. Her face was grim, and there were bloody stains on the white of her apron. "I'se sorry Mr. Rhett. Dr. Meade, he said he wanted to talk to you hisself."

Suddenly it felt as if all of the air had disappeared from his lungs. He leaned against the wall, his body sagging in grief and defeat. He had known. He knew that she wouldn't make it. He should have allowed that Bastard Jason Cross to treat her, no matter what exorbitant fees that he would charge to come from Charleston. And it was all his fault. She was dead. And since the baby wasn't crying, he didn't even have their child to remember her by. Three dead children were added to the chains that he would wear in his after life. How was he going to face Wade and Ella and tell them that their mother was gone that they were now officially orphans? He should have been prepared for it, he knew how fragile she was. But how does one prepare himself for so great a loss.

And his body shuddered as the full ramifications of her death washed over him. The love of his life was dead and gone, along with the child that she had wanted so much. He was sitting in the hallway, his head bent and held in his hands, when a small hand touched his shoulder. He looked up with tear filled eyes into those of Scarlett's daughter. Fear began clouding her features, and Rhett pulled her into his arms and cried.


	20. Of Tears and Trepidation

**Author's Note: See I wasn't too cruel, here it is finals week and I didn't even make you wait that long for this chapter!**

Ella clung to him. Her small face was buried in his chest as his face was buried in her hair. Her small hands clutched at the starched white material of his shirt, knotting the fabric underneath her small fists. Neither spoke, words could not convey the anguish that they were feeling, although Ella did not quite understand the full ramifications of what was happening or what had happened. Scarlett's children were now all that he had, all that he would ever have. His heart constricted painfully, and he wondered for a moment if it would burst. The pain was so intense in his heart that he wondered if losing Scarlett would indeed kill him. This was like losing Bonnie all over again, and yet it was magnified somehow. He hadn't imagine pain worse than that, and yet now he was learning that there was pain even more intense than Bonnie's death. He cradled Ella against him – Scarlett's daughter and Bonnie's sister, for holding her was all that he had to hold on to.

When he heard the sound of the door opening again, he rose his head wearily. The doctor was standing there, waiting for him to notice him. His face was grim, and there were blood stains on the apron that he wore when he was working. "Captain Butler, we need to talk."

The words hung between them, benign and yet menacing at the same time. There seemed no words so potentially ominous as those. Nothing good ever came when those words were spoken. He nodded after slowly rising to his feet with Ella standing tall beside him. He felt like an old man, his bones groaning in protest from the movement.

"I'll take you in there in a moment, but first I need to discuss the situation with you." He motioned towards Ella, "and perhaps we can go into another room to discuss things." Obviously he was trying to spare Ella a little longer from the inevitable pain. But did it really matter? Soon enough she would have to face the fact that her mother was gone forever. Rhett gently encouraged Ella to go downstairs for breakfast, for surely Wade would be awake soon. He had developed quite the appetite like his mother. And Rhett knew that he needed to tell them together. He would have to sit down and explain that their mother was dead. He needed them to be together for that. They would need each other. Ella obeyed and although she kept glancing backwards, she did not protest as she left his side.

With Ella taken care for the moment, Rhett walked slowly down the thickly carpeted hallway, leading Dr. Meade in a hazy cloud of grief to the sitting room that sat next to Scarlett's bedroom. Neither of their feet made a sound. He glanced at the door separating him from Scarlett furtively, and then sat down heavily in one of the chairs.

"I understand that you want to go in there immediately, but I must tell you, that there were some complications. She lost a great deal of blood. I had once suggested that she should have another child to help you after you lost Bonnie, perhaps I was wrong. I'm afraid that the damage from the miscarriage was much more serious than I realized."

Rhett sat silently listening, cursing himself, cradling his head in his hands, knowing that it was his fault that she was dead and that their child was dead. Just like with Bonnie, there was no one to blame other than himself. His head buzzed and ached, far worse than any hang over that he had ever faced. He could hear faint noises through the walls, but he knew that he was only imaging the sounds that he wanted to hear. What he wouldn't give for Scarlett to be resting in their bed with their child in her arms.

"Unfortunately, I doubt that she will ever be able to conceive again." The doctor continued.

Rhett raised his head and looked at the doctor in confusion. She was dead. Obviously she would never conceive again. What was the fool saying this for? He was getting ready to plan a funeral, and the man was saying something so obvious? What kind of an idiot was he?

"She will be unable to resume conjugal activities for quite some time, and even then with caution. Her recovery from this birth will be much longer than with her other children. And the child is small, although not as small as Ella was, if I recall correctly. But both should be fine."

Rhett shook his head. "But they died." His voice was flat and emotionless and his eyes looked hollow and empty.

The doctor paused, looking at Rhett in confusion, "Good God, man. They aren't dead. What a fool thing to think. Mother and child are both weaker than I would prefer, but they aren't dead. Scarlett is unconscious and has been since the end of the delivery. But in God's name, who told you that they were?"

For a moment he stood there, not believing the words that were being spoken. The grief was clearing, and suddenly Rhett realized that he had taken something as simple as an 'I'm sorry' to believe that Scarlett and the baby had died. He could blame the servant, or perhaps his dreams, or the fear in Scarlett's eyes, but the truth was that he had taken such simple words and contorted them into heartbreak and ruin. With red-rimmed eyes he stared at the doctor, hearing again the faint sounds from the room next door which announced the presence of his wife and child. "May I go see them?" How odd he thought to ask to go into a room in his own house, to go to see his wife. But he was still cloaked in such a heavy shadow of fear that he no longer seemed himself.

"I'll take you in there right now, I just wanted to be certain that you understood that it was a difficult labor. I had no idea that you had gotten the idea that she had died," the doctor said, rising from the chair and leading Rhett towards Scarlett.

His heart was in his throat as he walked into their bedroom. The curtains of the four poster bed, obscured her from his sight. The bed linens had been changed, there was still a conspicuous pile stained with blood beside the door. But as he moved into the room, he no longer cared about anything besides her. His heart leapt at the sight of her. She was as pale as alabaster, her dark hair spilling wildly across the pillow. He held his breath watching her, waiting for her chest to rise. It seemed as if time was suspended as he waited, and then her chest rose and fell, and he felt a tear spring to his eye.

Perhaps, perhaps there really was a God. Had He really heard his prayers? But if nothing else, she was breathing, and for a moment that was such an amazing thought that it filled his heart to swelling. It frightened him that she was so pale. She had been full of life after Bonnie's birth, demanding and imperious as always. The only other times he had seen her like this, her life had been on the line. He was reminded of the accident on the stairs and the subsequent miscarriage, when her life had clung so precariously in the balance. And then he remembered another image, of her pale, her hair in dark tangles after they escaped from certain death in Charleston. She looked as fragile now, as she had then.

And then he heard a faint whimper, though not from the direction of Scarlett. He moved quietly, moving towards the cradle that was on the other side of the bed. The sound was no stronger than that of a newborn kitten. And now that he had seen with his own eyes that Scarlett was sleeping, he was drawn to those soft baby sounds. He moved beside the cradle, and with extreme gentleness he gingerly picked up the child. The small child fit easily in his large hands. The nurse had bundled the baby tightly, and only the face was visible. He moved to one of the chairs that Scarlett had insisted that the bedroom needed, and sat down staring at the child in absolute fascination. The baby opened its eyes, and Rhett was startled by the child's appearance. The baby's eyes were a brilliant blue and her rosebud lips puckered slightly. The child looked so much like Bonnie, that a sob sounded low in his throat. With his free hand he softly brushed the baby's cheek with his thumb. "Oh, Thank God! You are perfect, and Daddy loves you so very much."

He had almost forgotten that Dr. Meade was there until, his voice broke through the silence. "Congratulations, Captain Butler. You have a daughter." Dr. Meade gathered his supplies and started to leave. "If you need anything, just call for me."

Rhett rose from the chair, holding his daughter carefully, as if she was made of fragile porcelain. She was so much like Scarlett, but her hair was darker more like his own. Her skin was still red and splotchy as babies often look after birth. He moved towards the bed, towards Scarlett, singing a soft lullaby and crooning to the tiny bundle in his arms. She squirmed in his arms, working one of her arms free. As he moved to readjust the blanket, she captured one of his fingers in her tiny fist. That flame of love burst forth in his chest consuming him completely, with a pure white hot fire of love. And he could have sworn that his daughter was staring into his eyes, before her eyelashes began fluttering down to rest gently on her cheek. And he loved her completely.

There came a faint knocking at the bedroom which broke Rhett from his reverie. He rose and carefully made his way to the door, still cradling his sleeping daughter in his arms. When he opened the door he was startled to find Ella standing before him, with tears spilling down her face.

For a moment he was stunned into silence, internally berating himself for so quickly forgetting the pain that he had shared with his other daughter. How quickly he had forgotten. And so with a cheerful voice he ushered Ella into the room, cautioning her to be quiet since her mother was still resting. Ella went to her mother's side and peered at her, and brushed her hand against her mother's. While he sat back down and watched. When Ella finally looked up, he motioned for her to come and sit with him. She did so with a timid smile and then at his invitation climbed onto his lap. "Oh, she's so red, Uncle Rhett. And she's so little bitty." She said breathlessly.

He smiled. "You once were so small. In fact I have heard that you were smaller than she is. I didn't meet you until you were a little older. I think you were an entire month old before we met," he added with a reminiscent smile.

"I wish Mother would wake up. I was so scared that she had died. You were scared to, weren't you Uncle Rhett. But I prayed. Auntie always said that we could pray and it would help things, so I did. And Mother and my little sister are going to be all right, aren't they?"

"Dr. Meade thinks so. And I know that you are going to be a wonderful big sister to her."

"I will Uncle Rhett, I swear that I will!" She exclaimed a little to eagerly, apparently startling the baby who began to whimper. "I'm sorry, Uncle Rhett. I didn't mean to wake her up." Ella jumped up and cried, trying to be quieter than she had been.

"It's all right, Ella. We just need to be more careful next time."

"Where's my baby?" Came a paper thin voice from the bed.

Rhett rose from the chair and went to Scarlett's side. "Here she is," he offered bending over and placing the baby in Scarlett's arms. "Here is our perfect baby girl." He said with eyes shining with pride.

And Scarlett stared down at her daughter, feeling a surge of motherly love that she had never felt before. "We've done it Rhett. We really have." She said with a weak smile.

And he dropped a gentle kiss on her forehead. "I love you." He said softly, and finally he felt like everything was going to be all right.


	21. Of Grace and Goodbyes

_**Author's Note - Thank You everyone for sticking with this story. I apologize if the ending comes as too sweet, but I can't imagine it ending any differently. Thanks for reading!**_

It took time for her to recover, and Dr. Meade was very clear about the seriousness of the need for them to have separate beds for an extended period. But Rhett refused. All too often Scarlett still woke in the night from dreams that left her in panicked tears. He could not leave her to suffer those alone. Nor did he have any desire to sleep on the floor. He knew that he had the ability to be as strong as he needed, understanding the consequences. There was no temptation too great that he would risk Scarlett's life. And having lived the life that he had, he also knew of ways to prevent the issues that the good doctor was concerned with. And no matter how difficult it was to procure some of the implements and devices that could be used, he still had connections with the people that everyone else of their society would refer to as a bad lot.

It was over a month before Scarlett was well enough to be up and about. For the first few weeks, it had been a trial for her to even rise from the bed to attend personal matters, and each such excursion robbed her of strength and energy. But Scarlett was adamant about taking care of such things. She didn'tmind being pampered, but she refused to be treated as an invalid. She would recount stories from after the war that still made Rhett ill to think about. She was stronger than most men he had ever encountered. But her weakness was so severe that Rhett even considered bringing in a wet nurse, but Scarlett adamantly refused. Confined almost completely to her bed as she was, she wanted the time with the baby. But feeding the baby was almost more than she could handle at first. There were times when Rhett was needed to help her hold the baby, for even with the baby's slight weight, it was more than she could manage when she was as weak as she was, Rhett refused to leave her side while she was holding the baby and only briefly if the the baby was in the room. It meant that he spent a great deal of time in the room, watching Scarlett as she did her best to protect her modesty as the child suckled at her breast.

"Elizabeth, you are so beautiful," Scarlett would coo to the baby as she held her. They had easily decided on the first name since both of Scarlett's other daughter's names both started with E as did both Ellen and Eleanor. Of course Bonnie's name had seemed to have ceased being Eugenia Victoria just as soon as Melanie had commented that her eyes were as blue as the Bonnie blue flag. And after Rhett assured her that history claimed that Elizabeth was one of the greatest rulers of all time, Scarlett was confident that they had chosen a strong, regal name for their daughter. She preferred that her little girl's name made her sound like a little queen. It was the middle name that was cause for many hours of debate. Scarlett preferred another name that would be equally royal as Victoria, while Rhett suggested names to show what a blessing the child had been. One of Scarlett's favorites was Christine, while Rhett that since neither of them deserved to be blessed with such a child, that she was a sign of unmerited, unearned favor thus Grace was the perfect choice. "We could call her, Gracie."

Scarlett could find no objection to the name. Within moments, it seemed the perfect name, and she quickly forgot that it had been Rhett's idea instead of her own. The name seemed to fit the child. It was as if it was the name she was meant to have, much more so than Elizabeth, which was such a large name for such a tiny baby. Scarlett was completely mesmerized by staring into the face of her youngest child. The blue of Gracie's eyes had slowly changed, until they were a rich chocolate brown, which contrasted vividly with the paleness of her skin. She looked like her mother, but her eyes were much closer to her father's eyes. She was a good natured, quiet, sweet child from the moment that she arrived. It was impossible not to love her.

In the years that followed Gracie grew into a sweet natured child, and eventually into a sweet natured young lady. Wade and Ella accepted her fully, although Wade never did quite forgive Rhett for the problems that he remembered from the first part of his parent's marriage. As soon as he was old enough, he left to attend Harvard, rarely to return to Atlanta again. Ella quickly fell back into the life that she had once lived, but now instead of feeling overshadowed by her younger sister, she felt the need to care for her. Ella was able to block out the bad memories of her earlier years and enjoy the new life that her parents shared. Gracie looked up to Ella in absolute adoration. Much to her father and mother's chagrin, it was Ella's name which first rolled off of the child's tongue.

Even Atlanta slowly began to forgive the Butler's for their past transgressions. Although they never quite fit the mold that the old matrons desired, they sought respectability for the sake of the children.

Scarlett slowly learned to control her temper, and whatever fits of rage came, were weathered by those from within the house. When the confines of society were pressing down to intently on them, they would choose to go on a trip, wherever the mood might possibly strike them, away from the eyes of those who had once been against them, and in those times they could live as scandalously as they desired. But as they grew older, some of the tensions that had once been so taut between them weakened. And they learned to live in relative harmony. Gracie would be the last child born of their wedlock. Scarlett's body had been too damaged by Gracie's birth, and Rhett would not even consider. After all he had a son and two daughters. He needed nothing else.

Their lives had been changed forever, but things could have been very different, if Scarlett had read a letter that thankfully had never been written.


End file.
