Ai no Kusabi 1. The Past

**VANILLA**

Katze was sitting and playing with his laptop. Cuddled up on the sofa, he was dressed in casual afternoon wear of light blue trousers and a sleeveless, black top. The keyboard was softly clicking to his busy fingers, but they instantly halted as he caught sight of his new Master standing the doorway - smiling. Next to the master was a fine example of a Boer bull that Raoul decided to name Shandi. It was a beautiful and powerful dog that demanded nothing other than utmost respect once laid eyes on. She reached Raoul to the middle of his thighs and was robustly built with bulging muscles underneath the brown, short fur. Black pigmentation framed her orange eyes, which gave the impression that her gaze was burning with the intensity of fire. She was already three years old, but Raoul - who had no history of being a particular animal lover - grew instantly fond of the dog that crossed his path, when he was visiting the construction site of the University in Ceres.

Raoul had been talking to the architect when they all heard some commotion coming from the workers. The dog had stolen someone's bag in hopes of finding some food in it, and was nearly lynched for the deed. Five grown men had the dog cornered with metal sticks. At first, Raoul only watched the fierce battle for survival from a distance, but then felt urged to intervene on the behalf of the animal. He rushed to make the workers stop, but a nearby droid guard had fired a gun before he reached the conflict. The dog collapsed and was badly bleeding from the wound on its side, but by no means was the animal giving up its last breath. She was fighting and deserved more then a dirty construction site as her final resting place.?

Katze remembered that day so well and it always brought a smile to his face. Raoul and Katze had stepped out of the car, all covered in blood from the chest down, as if they had partaken in some massacre. They entered the Centre calling for help while carrying that huge, dirty dog wrapped in Raoul's white mantle. The medical personnel had rushed to aid the two people, but were completely taken aback as the animal was placed on the stretcher. The attending physician stuttered.

"I'm...I'm s-sorry, but...but...t-this is...a dog. We don't treat animals here. You have to leave."

Raoul returned a focused, angry stare and leaned closer to the doctor rumbling in a way that made even Katze jolt.

"This is a damn hospital, no? People come here when they need help..."

"Yes,_people_, not animals," the physician argued and pointed at the dog, but Raoul stood firm and delivered with a calm, but steady voice.

"I am a person!" Raoul emphasized. "And _I_ need your help...even if it is to save my dog."

There was a moment of silence and flickering glances were exchanged between the medical staff - waiting for the final decision of the doctor in charge. Finally he nodded.

"Alright people, roll it into section eight...prepare for surgery..."

Raoul had spent two days away from work to be there at Shandi's awakening. Jupiter, who couldn't quite understand why one of Her favorite Blondies would be interested in keeping such an animal, dealt with the animal's aggressive behavior. It was the first time an animal had been transported to her Hive to be improved. If this dog was to be owned by Raoul, it had to remain docile and loyal to him no matter what. Enhancing traits and features was a great talent of Jupiter, but little did she know just how devoted a dog could be.

Since that day, Shandi has never left the side of Raoul; not in meetings, where she lay under the table and notifying of her presence with an occasional snore if the meeting was too boring - not in bed, where she snuck under the covers once he fell asleep - not at the dinner table, where she waited for him to drop her something while resting her head in his lap - and not even in his bathtub.

Katze looked at Shandi by Raoul's side and smiled at the images from the previous week. Raoul had one of his Blondie whims and wanted to be cared for like royalty. Katze had prepared a bubble bath whilst a servant was rinsing fruits of all sorts, which were then decorated with cream. Once Katze and the servant had attended Raoul with everything he demanded, the two young men retired to Katze's room to play computer games. It had all been peace and quiet until Raoul's vicious roar disturbed the silence in the house.

"Katze! Anyone! Get in here!"

Shandi had not taken it well to be rejected by her Master when she was craving for his fruit salad. As her Master was incapacitated in the bathtub, holding a book and not wanting to get out, she simply marched up to the bowl and buried her face in it. Raoul's crude words didn't do much to fend her off, and thus Shandi gladly lapped up the last bits of fruit, leaving only a trail of drool behind. Of course, the amount of cream she ate along with the salad brought about a grand thirst, but there was a nice tub of water with tasty bubbles that could do the trick. It was then that Katze and a servant arrived to this peculiar scenery. Raoul was howling from the tub and complaining about the impertinence of the animal, whilst the servant and Katze tried to hide their laughter as they made an effort to pull Shandi away from the agitated Blondie.

"Can't you just lift her away?" Raoul gesticulated with a frown.

"She's an awfully lot of dog, Master," the servant panted as he tried to move the dog that matched his weight. Katze assisted but to no use. Shandi began wiggling like a snake and within seconds she was free from their grip and back with her face in the tub.

"Can't you two even get a stupid dog out of here?" Raoul rumbled, at which Shandi lifted her head and snorted the bubbles off her nose. She pierced Raoul with her gaze almost as if he knew she was being insulted. Raoul tilted his head.

"Don't you dare," he said warningly, but far too late. "No, dog...no!"

Shandi made a leap through the air and landed on top of the Blondie. The servant and Katze were holding on to each other not collapse of laughter as tears of amusement were running down their cheeks. Raoul's repeated plea to get Shandi off his chest was to no avail, for the two mongrels could hardly move of laughter. Finally, Shandi made peace by licking every inch of the Master's face with her enormous, fleshy tongue. She handed him a series of rather slimy, but persistent kisses that effortlessly broke Raoul's anger. He placed his hands on her muscular back and held her close.

"Oh, someone give this dog a minty," he managed to giggle between her kisses and before the evening had come to an end, Raoul and Shandi had been joined by Katze. However, the redhead had refused to remove his underwear and to his great comfort, Raoul made not effort to try to persuade him otherwise, or even make a comment about it. A lot of things have changed since Dana Burn - but some things remained the same. Katze's random abashment for his body.


	2. My Body, My Castle

**MY BODY, MY CASTLE **

"Are they gone?" Katze asked with his usual firm tone.

Raoul confirmed with a wordless nod as he entered the room and seated himself at the feet of the redhead. Shandi collapsed on the divan across from them.

Raoul was dressed in simple dark blue denim and an orange t-shirt saying "I FLATLY REFUSE". It had been a gift from Katze and completely against Raoul's previous style, but occasionally the Blondie allowed himself to be more relaxed. In fact, Jupiter encouraged it. The sentient artificial intelligence had long retracted Her curious eyes from the home of the Blondies. Life had taken another turn after Dana Burn, and instead of focusing on a certain layer of society, She was now observing life in a complete state. Mongrels and masters; all and equally scrutinized. Although She still owned the Blondie trait by creating Her children, as opposed to how mongrels procreate, She had extended Her control by inviting the naturally fertile to give birth under Her observation. Each child was tagged with an identity and a record of all was established. It was a huge step as compared to before, but Her control was greater yet more subtle.

Raoul's emerald gaze swept over the sinewy body before him and a recurrent urge to laugh burst through his throat as he saw the numerous nicotine patches on the arms of Katze.

"You know you are supposed to use one at a time...not ten," Raoul pointed out with a disarming smile and removed a transparent patch from the pale shoulder. Katze's skin has recently started to regain some of its youthful shimmer, now that the typical gray halo of nicotine was slowly dissipating from the body.

"I know, but one is not enough," Katze commented and threw a glance at the empty packet on the table. "I have to get some more. You know..." he sighed and continued, "I didn't think it would be so difficult to quit. It's been a whole year now and I still have this craving for those damn cigarettes."

Raoul remained silent at Katze's feet, and as his hand accidentally brushed against the marble skin, he noticed the cold exuding from the juvenile. He frowned a little as he took the cold feet into his hands and placed them in his lap.

"Your feet are like blocks of ice, Katze, why don't you put on some socks...or...get a blanket or something."

No answer; only a blatant stare. After a swift moment of silence he continued. "Katze, there are some things we need to talk about, you and I."

The redhead remained frozen in his motions whilst he kept his eyes anchored to the Master. Raoul covered the cold feet with his feverish palms and rubbed them to chase away that lifeless cold trapped in them. His golden hair shaded his face as he leaned forward and thus couldn't see Katze nervously searching for a getaway. The young man felt quite awkward and uncomfortable in the hands of the Master.

The weeks after Dana Burn had been truly tormenting, and Katze was on the verge of break down and thus needed to occupy himself with what he liked the most; computers. He started working at a successful software company as a programmer, and almost as if it had been determined by Fate, two hurt souls accidentally met on a conference where up-to-date biotechnology was intertwined with the latest software development. Katze had noticed Raoul from afar and after a long while of hesitation, he approached Blondie. The conference was lasting four days and the first two days were rather wordless between the two. However, in some strange way they were seeking each other's presence during meetings and dinners. Finally, Raoul had broken the silence by a daring proposition, which was to ask Katze to work for him. Although the mongrel did not want anything to do with people from the past, who reminded him of his great loss at Dana Burn, he accepted the offer and became one of Raoul Am's employees.

The first months went by without notice, but many late nights in the presence of his boss earned him trust and a hint of affections that he hungered for. Life had been so empty - and now it had once again become meaningful. During the time of despair, and before the resurrection of Jupiter, Katze had slowly but surely grown increasingly fond of Raoul - and that perfectly chiseled body of the Blondie haunted the nights the eunuch spent alone.

A rainy, treacherous evening had changed the course of his life. His car had broken down and he was drenched on his way home from work. By chance, Raoul's limousine passed him and the he was asked to join the Blondie for the evening. Katze had been reluctant, but Raoul's voice was so soothing and sweet that he couldn't resist.

"Why not?" he thought. "I haven't seen Raoul's new place since he moved away from Apatia."

The night had started off rather slowly with dinner and a game of chess, but it had ended with a maelstrom of emotions exploding out of Raoul as he reached his climax inside his beloved Katze. The mongrel could hardly remember the middle part of the night. It all happened so quickly. The flirting, he responded to, the touches that caused him to moan with pleasure, the merging of bodies...and that tender moment when Raoul divulged his sincere affections towards Katze. It happened when they were relaxing in a bubble bath after an amorous adventure. He had said; "Katze, I really, really like you...and...I would be very happy if you wanted to move in with me."

It was like a sacred wedding between two lovers; the flirting carried them to bed - their own alter - their lovemaking was the pledge of forever lasting love - and their shared climax that echoed through the night was the wedge that kept them together since. It was one of the very few time Katze managed to climax. It must have been love.

Well, Katze had wished to see it as love - something that had always been missing form his life. He was a eunuch, a Furniture, and most of his life he had been treated like one. But Raoul Am was different; yes, different in so many aspects...but still, so much the same, for he could never say the words "I love you". Not once, and thus, neither did Katze.

It has been three weeks now since they had been parted for a year. Katze had gained a name among the Blondies and was acknowledged for his outstanding computer skills. His skills in software programming had been required by another Blondie at a nearby solar system; Danzee. His time alone, pushed him back to square one when it came to closeness. It was what had kept him surviving alone for so many years as a eunuch. When the feelings were too imposing, he shut them down. He hadn't had sex for so long, that the muscle around his portal tightened again and his hands had lost that touch...that sensuality they once possessed. His fingers had been busy tapping at keyboards; touching lifeless objects. Nothing soft, nothing living.

Since Katze's return, Raoul hasn't laid a hand on him - only because Katze was reluctant and Raoul had no desire to push him. Most of the time Katze was sitting quitely content in his room, playing with his laptop and stationary terminal that Raoul have provided him with, along with the most up-to-date equipment, which was a courtesy from a software expert.

When it came to performing, he was still insecure and it made him feel insufficient. Raoul was a patient lover who had talent, and he was a good teacher too, but Katze was still a firm believer that he needed a longer starting point and learned how to employ the most usable combination of words ever produced by any creature. It was a legacy from Raoul and it went; "I flatly refuse". Well, Katze learned that phrase very quickly and flatly refused being treated as a "bed-toy".

Since Katze returned - three weeks ago - he had avoided Raoul as much as he possibly could and there had always been a suitable explanation or excuse, to circumvent situations that would lead to the Master's bed. But tonight was different. A friend of Raoul had asked for some decoration help in a new palatial home. The youngling servant of Raoul was known for his exquisite taste in interior design, and thus a natural choice when the question was posed. Of course, it was a tactical choice on Raoul's part, to force Katze into facing his fears. It was this deed that had set off the enormous craving for cigarettes and hence the abuse of the nicotine patches.

Raoul had once asked Katze to quit his smoking - and this promise was not to be broken.


	3. Baking

**BAKING **

Raoul's hands were warm and his touch was seductively soothing. Katze felt the heat spreading in his body, but as the stubborn mongrel he was, he denied it to himself and to his Master. He seemed ever so distant in his response and came up with a suggestion to escape the situation. Raoul was a real sweet tooth and thus...

"Hey, you want me to bake you a summer cake?" the redhead suggested and jumped out of the sofa with an overly enthusiastic smile. He hadn't counted on Raoul's interference with this little plan and was greatly defeated by the suggestion to partake in the baking. Katze felt he needed to make an effort to scurry away while assuring he needed no help and besides, why would a Blondie want to spoil his clothes.

"If I spill anything on them, I'll buy new ones," Raoul added with a shrug and followed Katze to the kitchen.

"But you can't bake," Katze brought forth while scanning the refrigerator for the necessary ingredients. Raoul couldn't stop himself from twisting his lips into a smile. The laughter was trapped in his throat not to embarrass Katze, but the sight of the redhead almost climbing inside the cooler just to escape the situation was hilarious.

"Does it matter?" Raoul asked. "Teach me then."

Katze didn't answer but kept on scanning the shelves, until Raoul grew tired of waiting and broke through; "Are you doing some sort of an inventory? Should I get you a notebook? Now, come and let's bake."

Katze released a silent curse, and instead of arguing against the proposal he nodded his consent.

"Alright, then go tot the pantry and get me some flour, sugar and about two packs of almonds."

Cheerful as ever, the Blondie did as he was told, whilst Katze placed the milk, eggs, butter and strawberries on the sink. Raoul returned with the groceries and asked what to do next.

"First of all I think we need to put an apron on you, 'cause I suspect there will be more cake on you then in the form."

"Wha..."

"Oh, come on, Raoul. You've never been in a kitchen other then to eat," Katze cut in and pulled the apron over Raoul's head and secured it around his waist. He wrapped his arms around the slim waist and inhaled the lovely scent of Raoul's newly washed hair that brushed against his face. His heart began racing and for a moment the restless spirit within reminded of its presence through a faint tingle in the belly. The redhead immediately released the Master and walked over to the sink.

"Alright," he sighed while pondering on how all of a sudden a large kitchen, such as this one, could shrink into something so small and crowded. "I need a bowl, which you can find on the shelves over there. Then..." Katze placed a baking tin on the stove as he continued, "you'll need to cover the form with butter so that the cake won't stick. Got it?"

"Yeah," Raoul confirmed with a smile. He was most enjoying himself, but even more so the panicking face of Katze as he was constantly trying to find things to do in order to avoid the Master's presence. Raoul was wondering just how long the redhead could keep this up? There were many hours left until bedtime and the cake couldn't take more then an hour to complete. He knew very well the reason to Katze's manic behavior, but he wasn't going to back off as he had done the past weeks.

"By the way," Katze called out. "Before you get all messy, why don't you prepare the almonds so that we can add them to the meringue later on.

Raoul nodded and turned his attention to the two packages of almonds and as insulting as his idea could seem to Katze, he just couldn't help asking; "So how do you want your nuts...crushed?"

Katze cocked his head and threw Raoul a disapproving glance. The mischievous, silly smile of the Blondie caught his anger and annihilated the sudden flare of annoyance. The redhead returned a cheerful expression and quickly countered the Elite with his wits; "Well, not really. I only have that left of my masculinity...but we can have go at yours. Maybe they would add a delicious flavor to the cake. Besides, we'll better compensate each other if you'll be the dick and I'll have the balls."

Raoul frowned at the thought and shook his head.

"Crazy kid," he laughed. "Seriously, love, are they supposed to be crushed or ground?"

Katze suddenly threw in a question; "What did you say?"

"I was just wondering if you wanted the almonds crushed or ground..."

"No, before that."

"I don't want my balls crushed...?"

"No, after that."

Raoul halted and thought back a few seconds to the past but couldn't unravel what Katze was referring to. He must have said something he hadn't thought of.

"You said something in between," Katze emphasized.

"Katze, for goodness sakes, I don't know. Tell me what you are referring to."

The redhead lowered his head and buried his gaze in the bowl of flour, spices and baking powder. His own wish to be desired was making him hear alluring words that tainted his mind. He was going crazy! He was hearing things that weren't there. Granted, Raoul had taken him in to be his Pet, his friend, his employee and advisor to other Blondies in power, and occasionally his lover...but his love? No. It couldn't be. Not after a year of absence. After the third month, Raoul had stopped leaving him messages, and his email folder, bearing the name "Wolfie", was always empty. Surely, Raoul must have changed; just like Katze. It was only natural to happen and Katze never held that as a grudge against his Blondie. It hurt and left him sleepless so many nights, but it was bound to happen...and he had come to terms with it. He accepted it.

"Nothing. I must have heard wrong."

Raoul shrugged; "Alright. Where can I find the grinder?"

"We don't have one," Katze pointed out as he moved towards the kitchen entrance. "We always use the mixer to that. Just change the blades on it after you finished, 'cause I'll nee it to beat the egg white."

"Where are you going then?" Raoul asked as he poured the almonds into the mixer.

"Do you mind if I put some music on?"

Raoul lifted his head and threw a smile at Katze; "No, not at all."

"Not even if it is that kind of nerve-wrecking, psychedelic trance beat I usually listen to?"

"Go ahead, love."

There! There it was again! Katze's heart burst inside his chest with joy. He couldn't have heard it wrong twice. Hi soul wanted to rush up to Raoul and cover him with the emotions that whirled up, but the body remained frozen in the doorway from where he studied the Blondie with eyes that opened up for the first time. He saw new things, sensed new sensations...it was as if he was waking up again after all this time.

"Are you still here?" Raoul asked. "I need some music to mask my cruse...damn..." he slammed the mixer to the table. "I can't seem to get this thing working."

Katze shook his head, clearly enjoying the childish curiosity of the Blondie as he was trying to learn the functions of the mixer.

"You have to secure the lid, before it will start, or you'll have almonds all over the place. It's a security precaution."

"Aaahh" Raoul pointed out like a professor suddenly hit by a revelation. "How stupid of me," he continued laughing at his ignorance. "I tried just about everything except that."

"You are not stupid, Raoul," Katze cut in with his lovely eyes fixed on the Blondie. He radiated warmth and true happiness as he sincerely opposed; "You just lack a little routine. But you take it rather well...with a smile."

He tried his best to withhold the aching words that longed to be released. Finally, his heart won the battle against his stubbornness and the words slipped off his lips; "That's what I love about you."

By the time the little words nestled into Raoul's consciousness and caught his attention, Katze was gone and the trance beat was blasting through the speakers.

"I hope Jupiter covers Her ears," Raoul mumbled with amusement and turned on the mixer. He secured the lid and pointed his index finger at the household machine. "I command you to work, damn you!"

The almonds inside the mixer started swirling and were ground to a fine powder by the blade within seconds. Raoul released a triumphant "wohoo" and felt certain sense of satisfaction knowing he was about to learn his way around the kitchen, which was usually the servants' dominion. By the time Katze returned to the kitchen, the almonds were ground and the form was covered with butter. Raoul was about to rinse his fingers from the slippery film of fat, when the redhead intervened.

"No, wait. You are already messy, so maybe you could separate the eggs too."

"Do what?" floated out of Raoul with surprise.

"Separate the yolk from the white. We can only make meringue from the white and the vanilla cream is to be made out of the yolk. Here..."; Katze placed a bowl and a saucepan on the table in front of Raoul. "I want the yolk in the pan and the white in the bowl."

"I can try."

Raoul had seen Katze and the servants work in the kitchen several times, but it gave him a sense of immature joy, to play the role of the complete ignorant. He knew that by pretending to be clumsy, Katze would come to his rescue and thus remain in his presence for a while. Raoul cracked the first egg and both the yolk and white ended up in the bowl.

"Oh, darn it, Katze," the Blondie complained. "Couldn't you just show me on one how you do it? I've seen you using half the shell to do this, but I'm just not cut out for this."

His lips were twitching in a smile as Katze exhaled his impatience.

"Look, you don't have to use the shell, just your fingers. Like this..."

The redhead picked up the yolk from the bowl and placed it in Raoul's hands. The white was seeping through every crevice of their hands and their fingers intertwined in a sensual dance that shot an arrow of arousal through the Blondie. He watched the white - he drifted into the memories of their amorous nights when Katze emptied his essence into the hands of Raoul; it was just as clear and immaculate as the white slipping between his fingers now. Raoul took a step closer to the eunuch until their hips brushed against each other, but Katze evaded the approach like a frightened doe.

"Alright, now you do the rest," Katze commanded firmly and cleared his throat with a well-rehearsed little cough. All his life, he had hated to be treated like a toy and though he knew his new life demanded more of him than just another pretty face to ornate the home of a Blondie, he was nonetheless evasive when it came to physical contact. It was still new to him, and his body wasn't responding as he would have wanted it to. Well, what was the problem? The problem was fear. The problem was forbidden dreams of initiated, blunt penetration that was hurting him.

The egg white and the yolk was soon separated and divided. Katze added the sugar to the yolk and with some cream he started to carefully heat the mixture with careful stirring. He added the vanilla sticks and commanded the Blondie to keep on stirring carefully whilst the cream was being heated. Meanwhile Katze prepared the bottom of the cake, by mixing the ground almonds with the beaten egg white and adding the mix of flour and spices. From his position at the stove, Raoul watched the redhead as he worked his way about the kitchen and finally poured the cake into the form.

"How long is that supposed to be baked?" Raoul asked as Katze closed the door to the oven, which was built into the wall at a height that would be more suitable for a grown up.

"About thirty minutes."

Raoul nodded. "I think the cream is ready now."

Katze walked up to Raoul and confirmed with a smile. "Yes, it's thick enough. Now put it into cold water and wait for the cake to be finished. I'll rinse the dishes and then I'm going to my room for a while."

Raoul pursed his lips. Wait? He was beginning to enjoy himself, he didn't want to wait. Wasn't there anything else that could be done?

"What about the whipped cream?" he asked.

"Done."

"The strawberries?"

"Done"

"The coffee?"

"It will be done when the I'm putting the cake together."

Raoul was getting annoyed. Once again, Katze was finding a way to escape the Master's presence. He could, of course, order the redhead to stay and keep him company, but Raoul had promised he wouldn't force Katze to things. He had done so quite frequently in the past and it was a time he had no intentions to return to. No, those days were over; Katze was his equal now even if he attended Raoul whenever the Blondie demanded. But ir was regarding rather menial tasks; sex was not on the agenda as something Raoul would ask for. It had to be offered - not taken. Katze would quit smoking, but it had its price. The deal was; a longer life for no forced intercourse.


	4. Recepie for Life

**RECEPIE FOR LIFE **

The Blondie took the vanilla cream out of the cold water and placed it aside while watching the mongrel as he rinsed the utilities they had used. Raoul poured the cream into a jar and interrupted Katze with a careful question.

"I think the cream is cold enough now...or?"

Katze cast a swift glance over his shoulder and walked over to the Blondie. He dipped his finger into the cream and brought it to his symmetrical lips. It was an innocent gesture, but to Raoul it seemed ever so sensual and it all happened so slowly. He saw the long, shapely finger break the surface of the cream and that tiny drop that fell back as Katze lifted his hand into the air. The moist lips that parted and the tip of the tongue that curiously peaked out between the pearly set of teeth to explore the sweetness of the faintly yellow vanilla cream. The beautiful eyes with those long, red lashes closed as Katze's facial expression told of the satisfying taste of the cream. It brought a smile to the lips of the Blondie, but something in him made him turn away.

The thoughts kept on occupying his mind. He had done everything Katze had asked for - and by no means was he going to hold that against the boy, for the redhead truly deserved it after such devotion and service - but it troubled Raoul that the young man was so evasive. He was constantly burying himself in his laptop. Raoul mostly saw the young man when they were working together or eating dinner, but the Master longed for the closeness they shared a while back.

"It's really good," Katze broke the silence. "You should try it."

Raoul shook his head, feeling like an obstinate schoolboy who really wanted something but denied it to himself only to make a point.

"Oh, come on," the redhead pressed on and suddenly his wet finger danced over the surface of Raoul's lips. "C'mon taste it."

Oh, it was all so innocent, but it spoke so vividly to those deep instincts within. Raoul frowned and turned away. He quickly eased the strap around his waist and slammed the apron onto the sink. It made Katze jolt and stagger a slight step backwards. He watched with surprise as the Blondie passed the cooler where he helped himself to a bottle of wheat-beer before he moved over to the table where the servants usually ate. With his feet on the edge of the table he poured one sip after the other down his throat.

Katze licked his finger again, but the cream was no longer sweet. It had somehow turned bitter as if the vanilla stick had been in it for too long. Katze sighed with an extensive exhale as if it was his very spirit attempting to leave his body. He knew very well that he was the reason to Raoul's erratic behavior - but he couldn't help it. He didn't want to be just another doll the Blondie could please himself with. No matter how hard Katze tried to convince himself that he was fortunate to be accepted in the house of a prominent Blondie, he still craved for more affection then what Furnitures and Pets were given. And Raoul had changed; Katze was sure of that. He had to. One whole year of seventeen Danzeean months would chase any sexually overactive Blondie into the arms of someone else. No?

Besides, he feared the pain. He remembered what it was like trying to physically open up for Iason a long time ago; it was too painful and most likely it would be the same with Raoul now. It wasn't Katze's fault that Jupiter had blessed them with equipment far too big to be enjoyed without regular exercise. Each encounter had left him bleeding, hence being penetrated was not something he looked forward too. Even the thought turned him off. Doing it the other way around though, was more along his line, but that was impossible.

Katze took the bowl of whipped cream and strawberries to the kitchen table and seated himself in front of Raoul.

"Here," he placed the fruit within reach for the Blondie. "Take some of this."

"We need that for the cake," came as a dry response, but Katze assured they had more then enough for that. As Raoul reached for a strawberry and dipped it into whipped cream, Katze opened up for discussion.

"Alright, what is it you think we need to talk about?"

Raoul bit the fruit in half and washed it down with some beer. He swallowed the rest of the berry before he answered.

"I think we need to talk about you keep on avoiding me all the time."

"I thought it was rather clear," Katze replied between the bites, but Raoul shook his head.

"Do you really hate closeness that much, Katze?"

"No, Raoul. Not closeness, but I don't want to be treated like toy."

The Blondie nodded and looked deeply into the steady eyes of the redhead, asking for the expected confirmation to his question; "Have I treated you that way?"

The redhead halted and returned nothing but a confused look. No, indeed no. Raoul has never treated him like a toy, not like a slave or even a Pet. Katze was always seated next to his Master when they attended meetings, he was allowed to come and go as he pleased and those times Raoul had one of his whims, the Blondie always made sure not to step over boundaries Katze had set for himself. Alright, so there was no particular demand Raoul had forced upon him to make him act in this way; so what should he answer Raoul. The young man was so caught up in his thoughts that he hadn't noticed that the silence preceding his answer had been lasting for too long. Raoul had interpreted this silence as a confirmation of his incorrect actions.

"I am sorry," the Blondie said. "I don't know what else to do...how else to act. I have tried to be your friend, your employer...I even tried staying away, but it never pleases you, does it?"

"Because I know that the only reason you do this is to be able to get inside me in the end!"

The words cut through Raoul like knives and Katze realized how awful he must have made the Blondie feel. But there was no way to retract that insulting, hateful accusation. Raoul remained gaping as if his mouth spoke, although the words could not be heard. After a while he released with a meek voice; "I can't help that I am attracted to you."

Once again, without thinking and without assessing the meaning of what was said, thoughtless words slipped off the redhead;

"And I can't help that I'm not...!"

Thick silence settled over them like dome. Raoul slowly tilted his head, eyes collapsing in sorrow and losing their shine as if the last essence of life just slipped away. He scrutinized Katze with a worrying gaze, whilst trying to find something sensible to say.

"Damn...this is so embarrassing," the Blondie whispered as he released Katze with his emeralds. "It didn't occur to me. I thought that when you agreed to move in with me...I thought that," he placed the bottle on the table and straightened his back. He cleared his throat, but the lump was immovable - choking him with misery. "I thought that perhaps you felt something for me."

He burst into a stiff laughter of sadness and mocked of his own impudence. Raoul's gaze hovered over the sad face of the redhead. The exciting moment they shared a few moments back was now dissolving in the gloomy atmosphere that filled the space between them.

"I am so blind...and so...sorry, Katze."

Raoul left his seat and passed the redhead as he headed for the sink to pour out the remaining beer. Katze buried his eyes in the bowl of red fruit that started shimmering behind a curtain of tears. "There you go Katze," he though. "You have finally got it off your chest. He will leave you alone...you finally get what you always wanted...to be left alone. Alone!"

Suddenly, the wish to be left at peace was not as inviting and as tempting as it had been only a few minuets back. It was painful, it was draining him of strength. Being left ALONE. "You have always been alone, you fool," he shouted within. "This was your only chance to passion...maybe not love...but at least some warmth..."

"Raoul, wait," Katze turned and rushed up to the Master. He saw the yellow liquid foaming down the drain, and then turned up his face towards Raoul. "Look, it all sounded bad. Wrong! It wasn't what I meant, it's just that...I don't know how to say it...but..."

"But what?" Raoul said staring at the foam.

Katze sighed and leaned his forehead against the massive torso before him.

"To tell you the truth Raoul...I am a little afraid."

Raoul cocked his head a little as if in disbelief, but knew he had to offer Katze the opportunity to explain himself.

"It's alright," Raoul whispered in return, placing a hand around the shoulders of the young man. "I am afraid too sometimes."

"No!" the redhead shook his head "You don't understand."

"So tell me, damn it!" the lord growled and let go of the young man. "Why can't you just let me in? I thought after all this time we spent together you'd be...more open. You never talk to me. What the hell are you afraid of, Katze?

"Of being left alone," Katze confessed with wet cheeks. "Discarded like some used up toy once you grow tired of me."

"I thought you just told me that it is what you want...for me to stop harassing you with my behavior."

"No...it's not like that. I don't even know how to explain it to you, Raoul. You will never be alone...whereas I...well, I live with you on the courtesy of your heart. You made some room for me there, but what if that room closes...or what if you need space for someone else?"

Raoul kept Katze under firm scrutiny, but his voice was lean and completely devoid of hostility. Just soft like hovering feathers.

"Do you honestly think I will push you out?"

"Well, just how big is that heart of yours Raoul?" the young man threw in with a cocksure attitude. He was trying his best not to reveal his weakness. His yearning to be loved like someone who matters - someone who would be missed if he was gone - someone who was regarded as a person...a lover...a love. By, Jupiter, those words were sweeter then honey to his soul. Katze awaited Raoul's answer with a mix of dread and anticipation. He knew that the Master could be as cold as ice and his words could be sharper than a sword and reach deeper than a dagger. He repeated his question; "How big is your heart, Raoul?"

"I don't know, Katze...but I do know that if you'd leave...you'd be taking a significant part of it with you. And I know you wont believe me, but...I wouldn't want to have a life without you."

Katze kept staring back at Raoul like a lifeless statue, but inside his mortal pod of flesh and bone, a radiant soul was celebrating its rebirth. The dance of his spirit grew so strong it shook his body like a leaf. He could hardly breathe and the body was growing weak. Katze felt overwhelmed with bliss.

"You really mean it, Raoul?"

Raoul let his spirit drown in the beautiful boy before him and cupped his hands around the lovely face. He brushed the fringe aside and leaned over him. Lips grazed against an old scar and then moved towards the ears, delivering the message a ravaged soul was hungering for.

"I love you, Katze...can I make it any more clear to you?"

The young man placed his hands on those of the Blondie and flashed him with a smile. Carried by the bliss of the notion of his worth in the eyes of Raoul, he pressed his slender body against the Blondie whispering; "Then show me."


	5. Frosting

**FROSTING **

Katze stopped moving backwards when he felt the kitchen table pressing against his back. He hardly knew where he was; dizzy and high on emotions he was disoriented in the space surrounding him. He instinctively sat down on the table and allowed for Raoul to invade his private sphere. Their lips remained fused all the way from the kitchen sink to the table. Tongues were wrestling like hungry warriors trying to subdue the other part in mutual conquest. Raoul released Katze from his mouth and embarked on a journey over his beautiful neck. It made Katze shiver with delight and he couldn't help but to grin and moan as Raoul's playfulness tickled over his skin. Patches of wetness cooling his soft flesh, teeth nibbling and lips sucking; it was almost too much.

Raoul's halted in his endearing abuse of a hardened nipple that peaked through Katze's shirt, as the redhead cried out of the strong sensations that gave him goose bumps. After a few seconds of flirtatious glances, the Blondie continued with nibbling and further teasing the redhead at the nip of his neck until Katze's hands eagerly started fumbling with Raoul's belt. It shot an arrow of powerful arousal through Raoul, as Katze's hands slipped under the trousers; fumbling and teasing.

"Wait," Raoul panted, removing the boy's hands while trying to hold back his excitement. "I want you to have fun tonight."

Katze returned a confused look, but wordlessly gave in to Raoul's games as his shirt was removed, and he was carefully pushed down on the table. He watched with curious anticipation as Raoul with tentative efforts unbuttoned the trousers, and ever so slowly pulled them down. Every tiny inch of uncovered skin was kissed or caressed as Raoul worked his way down the thighs, knees and finally the feet. Katze's trousers ended up on the floor and Raoul remained at the head of the table watching him and holding his feet. Waiting...waiting...then he asked the unthinkable of Katze.

"Will you remove the rest yourself?" he asked softly, biting his lower lip while suggesting the very thing he knew was hard for Katze to take charge of. To initiate something sexual by presenting his nakedness to be viewed. Katze hesitated, but he had been the one asking for this. Raoul took firm hold of his feet to give him support as the boy lifted his hips and pulled down his underwear. He kept his legs closed as much as he could not to expose the terrible scar that decorated the area where his penis used to be. But Raoul didn't care for the scar. He remained looking into the eyes of his love. Katze pushed his underwear to his knees, then Raoul took over and soon it was on top of the other garments on the floor. What was going to happen now? Another blunt penetration?

It was as if Raoul could read the silent pleading in Katze's eyes, and thus decided to offer him a surprise - totally opposite to the expected. He let go of Katze's right leg and lifted the other to his lips. The mongrel supported himself on the elbows to witness the extraordinarily exciting scenery at the end of the table. No one has ever done something like that to him before - and he discovered he loved it.

Raoul's hands were so pleasantly massaging the sole of Kate's foot, while the lips added an additional pleasurable sensation as he kissed and nibbled his toes. "Damn this is so good," Katze indulged internally. Raoul kept on massaging the calves and licking his way over the ankles and shins.

The tightly pressed thighs eased a little and Katze restrained his elation just enough to engage in the game by giving something back to his beloved Raoul. He lifted his right leg and brushed his foot slightly against Raoul's crotch; cautiously stimulating him through the clothes. Raoul moaned and inadvertently, Katze responded the same way.

The young man had no idea that his feet were so sensitive to an erotic touch; it was all so delicious. Why hadn't he discovered this sooner? He leaned back, resting on the table, closing his eyes and letting Raoul completely have his way. As Raoul let go of him, Katze parted his legs fully - audaciously exposing his damaged crotch.

Raoul looked at the scar tissue above Katze's groin. It was all but intimidating - it fascinated him. Although Katze had suffered penectomy, all erectile and sensory tissue had not been removed, for there had been no reason to do so. In fact, the sensory tissue reached deeper into the belly than just the superficial parts of the penis, hence Raoul knew Katze should be able to feel something. He could see under the uneven surface of the scar tissue, that there were something small, like a tiny pearls, pressing from within; remnants from a past completeness. Watching it, Raoul was hit by the most peculiar thought, but it made him so curious that he couldn't help asking.

"Have you ever tried doing it yourself, since you were made eunuch?"

Katze lifted his head, eyes steady and inquisitive. He was completely dumbfounded and couldn't find words, and thus Raoul repeated his question in a different fashion.

"Can you show me how you touch yourself?"

Katze shook his head with an insecure smile.

"I don't know…it feels so awkward. I don't know…I mean, it's embarrassing. I can't climax anyway."

"That's not important," Raoul intervened. "I would like to see you play."

"What point is there if I can't come?" Katze argued, but Raoul presented him with the reason that changed everything.

"It has nothing to do with you having an orgasm or not, beautiful. It has to do with trust," Raoul explained and leaned over Katze to kiss his chest. "It has to do with you having confidence…in me."

The mongrel was still hesitant. Raoul straightened his back with a gentle smile adding a comment accompanied by a mischievous radiance. He walked over to the kitchen sink, returning with the jar of vanilla cream in his hands. Katze burst into laughter, and nodded at the silent proposal. He opened up his legs – wide apart and invited the thick cream to cover his hips. It was pleasantly cool and quite exciting as it slid across his skin. At first, through insecure fumbling, but later with ginger stimulation, Katze's hands danced over the slippery area; massaging, caressing, playing and giving pleasure in a way Raoul had never witnessed before. The Blondie licked his lips and watched with awe. He noticed a specific little area, involving the scars, which was repeatedly touched and caressed by Katze's busy fingers. It was a sensual dance Raoul enjoyed watching, but quite soon he felt he wanted to be part of it.

"Let me do this," he suggested huskily moving closer to Katze. He kissed the boy's thighs and ran his hands over the quivering stomach.

"Be careful," Katze gasped suddenly. "The scars are really sensitive. The difference between pleasure and pain is very small when it comes to me."

"Don't worry," Raoul smiled back and kissed Katze's protective hands aside. They tasted with the sweet cream. "I'll be gentle.

Elation swept over the mongrel as Raoul's tongue began exploring the scar tissue. His long hair brushed against Katze's thighs and belly, gently caressing and tickling his aching skin as a symmetrical, hungry mouth covered the mongrel with kisses and gentle licking. Raoul relished at the uneven surface under his tongue, the scrotum that reacted to his every touch, and the mere sight of the cream as it gave the impression of what Katze longed for - to lose his seed.

Katze raised his head and rested on his elbows to be able to see how that great pleasure was generated – only to please him. Raoul paid attention to Katze's every move, his every moan and every twitching muscle. As the strong hands supported the scrotum in a tender hold, tongue playing with those tiny remnants of erectile tissue, cream covered fingers slowly and playfully penetrating the swollen entrance, Katze felt almost as he could have climaxed. He locked Raoul's head close to his groin, wriggling and preening as the sensations grew. It was frustrating not being able to tip over the edge to the desired release, but Raoul was a patient lover – attending Katze's every need. The gentleness gave Katze much pleasure and finally, he came to a point where he willingly wanted to offer something in return.

"Shouldn't we trade places, Raoul?" he whispered as his voice grew thick of the excitement crowding in his throat. He caressed the Blondie over the head asking him to lie down on the table, but Raoul refused.

"No," Raoul answered. "Tonight is your night only."

With those last words he picked Katze up in his arms and carried him to the sofa in the lounge. Raoul took his time undressing; allowing Katze to take pleasure in watching him peeling each layer off his perfect body. Without noticing, the hands of the redhead had once again found their way back to the scar to the delight of the Master. Raoul kneeled in the sofa close to Katze's bottom, rhythmically stroking his shaft as they both engaged in mutual masturbation. Watching Katze so daring pushed the lord closer to an impending fulfillment, but he forced himself to stop and rested his heavy body on top of the young man.

Passionate kisses were eagerly handed out, fumbling hands were searching for those sensitive spots that made them gasp for more. Katze's fingers enclosed Raoul engorged organ; pulling the soft skin over the bulging veins and indulging in the sensations of the fleshy organ pulsating against his palms. Raoul's moans were increasing and his penis was proudly exposing its erect stance as it rested against his belly, almost ready to spend. Bodies entangled in a close embrace, when the young man wrapped his legs around his lover and directed his bottom against Raoul's hips. Free from the aversion of being a sexual toy, the mongrel invited the thought of being taken; he wanted to see it, he wanted to feel the massive flesh working inside his body. He wanted to see Raoul shut his eyes closed, clench his teeth and finally release the tension with that powerful scream.

"Take me," the redhead exhaled between kisses. "Take me, Raoul."

The vulgar words seeped into Raoul's soul like an aphrodisiac, igniting the fire he had been trying to keep under control. The spark blew into a raging blaze that swallowed him from within. He swiftly positioned himself, forcing Katze's legs tightly against the chest to fully expose his yearning portal. The vanilla cream he had poured over Katze had made the boy all slick and receptive for penetration, hence the Blondie began inching his way inside. Katze clenched his teeth at first.

"Jupiter, it's been so long," he thought as the agonizing pain shot through him. The massive flesh was forcing its way in, bending and stretching the muscle until it felt as if something would burst. But that was only a misconception; Katze knew that. He relaxed his muscles and slowly the body began to remember how to act in order to pinpoint and savor the pleasant sensations from Raoul's actions.

"It's in now," Raoul comforted the redhead and reached past the torso to touch the trembling lips. The mongrel responded by tasting and sucking the finger playing on the surface of his tongue. Slowly, Raoul began to move; pushing himself in and out, but never once did he take his beautiful emeralds off Katze. Each thrust was pushing a new sensation from the past into the light and Katze remembered what it was like to have sex.

The Blondie had an intoxicating scent that seeped through his skin, making the young man lose himself in the moment.

"Move a little to the left," the redhead panted. Katze placed his hands on Raoul's hips, directing him in a slightly circular motion to increase pleasure. He could feel the member sliding carefully in and out, making the muscle in his entrance working tirelessly to give them both the release they wanted. Katze closed his eyes and private visions of another body took shape within. He couldn't witness what Raoul did to him, but his fantasy painted an enticing picture of that symmetrical and faintly pigmented member that smelled so good, enveloped in thin, transparent skin that tasted of Raoul's saturated, masculine excitement. It had the perfect shape and thickness to stimulate Katze from within, brushing against his prostate at each thrust.

"By all the Gods, Raoul," Katze moaned with a smile and biting his lower lip as he melted into the gaze of the Blondie. "What are you doing to me..."

"I want to see you climax, Katze," came in an encouraging breath, and all of a sudden, the bonds that fettered the young man's potential to live, burst and released his conquest for euphoria. His hands moved to his groin, touching that sensitive scar that sent powerful impulses through his being. Raoul was thrusting from within against the swollen prostate, whilst Katze isolated it from the outside. He dug his fingers slightly into his muscles, stimulating that libidos gland from both sides, bringing him to the very edge of an orgasm. Almost; his cave tightened around Raoul.

The Blondie was almost dizzy with elation that swept him over at each determined penetration; the sweat was dripping down the face of the beautiful flaxen, who was euphoric beyond this world. It was as if he was drifting into another dimension. A dimension that has been trapped within his body and was now devouring his very being and releasing the spirit - it felt like flying on wings of desire. His body plunged heavily into Katze, pressing him deep into the mattress. The redhead wrapped his legs around the lover, while swaying his body to urge for a continuation of those determined thrusts. His prostate was now like a swollen bead inside his stomach – his testicles contracted; ready to push out what had been cooped up inside.

"Ohh, Katze," Raoul managed to growl repeatedly with an increasing intensity.

"Just a little more…," the redhead begged in return. Both clenched their teeth – one fighting to retain, the other to release – and then it came.

Katze's entrance cramped and locked Raoul tightly inside in an attempt to milk the essence out of the Master. The Blondie couldn't hold on any longer; his body pushed frantically against Katze until he spent with a violent orgasm that left him trembling in every muscle, but he kept on moving, pushing to grant his love his greatest gift. Within a few persistent seconds, Katze's body reached a point of no return. The boy arched his back, screaming in a mix of frustration and ecstasy, as the fortress within crumbled and his essence exploded out of him. The sensations were rapturous, making Katze wriggle evasively as if he tried to escape the spear of euphoria that pierced through every part of him with force. But Raoul grabbed firmly on to his hips; keeping them close as he relentlessly kept on brushing against the overly stimulated and sensitive gland. The orgasm was long and overwhelming; Katze's eyes screwed shut, the veins on his neck protruded of the enormous physical tension and his cave was still pulsating long after his clear semen mixed with the sweetness smeared over his hips.

Raoul fought to catch his breath, but remained close and inside Katze until the young man calmed down. Katze was trembling like a leaf; eyes closed and gasping for air as if his lungs were incapable of providing that preciousness to his body. It was as if his entire being had imploded, emptying Katze of his last breath. Raoul stayed patiently close to him, savoring the sensations of a few lasting spasms, still lingering inside the tight cave. He then reached down to grab his shirt from the floor and placed it under them both before he pulled his semi-flaccid penis out of Katze.

"I hope I didn't make a mess on your couch," Katze whispered, with eyes still closed.

"No, love. Besides, this stain is easy to remove," Raoul laughed and added humorously. "I don't know about the vanilla cream though."

"Oh, shit," Katze unexpectedly flew up from the sofa. He headed straight to the kitchen. His stumbling, staggering movements told of the fatigue that had nestled inside him after this intensive lovemaking. Raoul got up and followed him into the kitchen.

"The cake," the redhead complained. "I'm sorry…aw shit, look at it. It's all ruined. I'm sorry about your dessert, Raoul."

Raoul smiled and shook his head.

"I already had my dessert. Let Shandi have that one. Besides, we ate all the filling."

The redhead started laughing, glancing down at his hips that had more vanilla cream on it then the cake. Raoul walked up behind Katze, kissing the young man's neck and holding him close in an endearing embrace.

"How about we go upstairs, take a nice bath…without Shandi…and let me wash your body."

"You, serving me?" Katze asked jokingly, but the response in Raoul's eyes was nothing but loving sincerely.

"Why not? I'm yours, aren't I?" Raoul asked and sealed his question with a kiss. Nothing more had to be said. Katze was his equal and his love. Yes, indeed they belonged together. Forever and always...

THE END


End file.
