Andromeda 1. Chapter 1

Title: Daybreak

Author: AstraGalactic  
Archive: Ask Please  
Disclaimer: Andromeda is not mine. If it was, Gaheris would be alive, and Dylan would be with Rommie.  
Rating: T  
Setting/Season: TUM universe and Season 1.

Characters: Andromeda, D. Hunt, G. Rhade.  
Summary: What if Gaheris had not been mortally wounded at the end of the Unconquerable Man?

A/N: "Love" as used here refers to a purely emotional bond. No physical relationship is implied (despite typical usage of the term - especially in human courtship)

**"Whatever is done for love **

**occurs beyond good and evil. "**

Friedrich Nietzsche.

Gaheris and Trance materialized on one of Andromeda's decks... somewhere deep down inside, he had understood the unspoken plan between them, perhaps because he had always wished it had been him who died on that fateful day, and Dylan who lived.

"Are we?"

Trance knew what he was asking and answered: "Yes. Hephaestus, on a parabolic mission towards the black hole. It's the eve of the Nietzschean uprising."

Gaheris raised his head, but not looking straight at her, instead staring to the side, the emotions of pain and regret from his memories showing clearly in his eyes.

He remembered walking into command and killing Dawn, then Dylan before he had the chance to fire once. More than anything, he remembered the momentary look of shock and betrayal in his best friend's eyes before they closed forever. That alone was a memory that was permanently etched into his mind and heart, a wound that would never close. What Dylan had never known was that Gaheris's actions hurt him too. It was not what he WANTED, it was what he had to do - or so he had believed.

In the last seconds of his life, Dylan never knew how much that decision had hurt, never knew that Gaheris's actions were never about THEM. Gaheris knew from the pain in Dylan's gaze that Dylan had felt this was a personal betrayal, that for some reason he did not understand, he had lost Gaheris's friendship.

Perhaps it did not make sense why it should matter. This time, Gaheris would ensure that it was he who died in the fight, ensure that Dylan would live, and 300 years later help the universe to find peace. Yet there was one more mistake Gaheris had to rectify. He had to let Dylan know why he had taken this path in the first place, had to let him know that it never was because he hadn't valued their friendship. He had taken this path because he believed he had to, to protect the universe...a tragic error in judgment.

Gaheris said softly, more to himself than to Trance, the pain evident in his voice: "I remember... So much has happened... There's so much for him to understand... So much for him to know."

His eyes had a distant look, as the memories of the life he had shared with Dylan, and the way it ended all came crashing back against his wounded soul.

Trance leaned up to him, planting a chaste kiss on his cheek. She knew he was hurting, and she hurt for him. There was a deep regret and pain evident in Trance's eyes. She softly said to him, with a sad smile: "Make sure that he does. It's up to you now." Trance tesseracted away, leaving Gaheris alone with his thoughts.

Memories of his life flooded his mind: himself arguing with other Nietzscheans about the Commonwealth's demise, Dylan's death, his quest to restore the Commonwealth, the victories and tragic losses, the myriad times he had wept for his friend. The two strongest emotions that stood out, overpowering everything else were regret and love.

He closed his eyes, breathing evenly in and out to calm himself, before he drew his forcelance and strode purposefully down the corridor. This was hard for him, survival was a part of his genes, an undeniable all-powerful instinct. Now he was walking into a fight where he would ensure his own death. Beyond what anyone could have ever expected from a Nietzschean, Gaheris had been able to override the power of his genes, override the wish of any life to continue, and to make the ultimate sacrifice...for love.

It would be hard for him to see Dylan again, after so long, and not be able to tell him how much he had missed him, that he loved him. He would have to fight his best friend again, but this time ensure that he died, and Dylan lived.

Gaheris strode swiftly down the corridor, knowing where his younger self had walked, determined to stop him before it was too late. Upon catching sight of his younger self, he called out: "Commander!"

Gaheris was counting on his younger self to be thrown off by hearing his own voice call out his rank. He was right. The young Gaheris turned toward the source of the voice, shocked to see himself, but an older version of himself - one who had hurt a lot. He had no more time to wonder because at that instant, the older Gaheris raised his arm holding the forcelance shooting his younger self dead, in one fluid movement. Himself frozen in shock and pain momentarily, Gaheris walked to the side of his own now still body, and knelt, his left hand resting on his younger self's chest. For just a few seconds, he froze, looking at his own face.

The young man laying dead on the floor now was him, a younger, perhaps more naive Gaheris, a man who had truly wanted the very best for the universe, who had wanted to do the right thing, but did not know how. Ironic that he knew now how to ensure the perfect possible future, by ensuring that he would soon join his younger self in death.

In the end it would not matter...who he had been, and how much he had sacrificed...but he did not care. The one thing he had wanted the most was to undo that one terrible mistake...at any cost. Gaheris steeled his expression and started to undo his younger self's uniform.

Gaheris walked onto Command, now disguised as his younger self, and shot Dawn. Then he aimed his forcelance at his best friend, but this time paused, giving Dylan time to react. He was waiting for Dylan, giving his friend the time he needed, knowing how this fight would end...how he would make it end. Yet there was a deep pain in his eyes as he was forced to relive the worst moments of his life, as again he caught Dylan's gaze filled with shock and pain.

His voice rang through the deck, carefully concealing his own sorrow and hesitance, and at the same time explaining to Dylan why he had done what he did that fateful day. Each word a blow to his own heart, knowing that each word drove the person he loved most to be angry at him...angry enough to kill him. He knew he could never tell Dylan how much he loved him. Better that Dylan hated him than have to live with the pain which had tormented Gaheris for two years.

Dylan called his friend's name, still reeling in shock, while he took cover behind a console, not knowing that the Nietzschean could have easily killed him had he wanted to: "Rhade!"

Gaheris replied: "I tried to warn you."

It was true, his younger self had been trying to warn his friend, time and time again, not to be so trusting. If only he could have made Dylan understand that...they would have never been on opposite sides.

Dylan still did not understand: "What are you doing?"

Gaheris explained. Now, he did not mean a word of it, but it had been the reason why he had betrayed Dylan years ago, and he wanted Dylan to know that it was never personal.

"Ensuring the survival of my people! The Commonwealth is weak. It bargains with its enemies, it compromises. My people are engineered to be perfect! And the Commonwealth is no place for the strong."

Gaheris said things he no longer believed in, but it was how the story had began, and over the course of the years, he had said these words to himself enough times that they had lost meaning, replaced by the tragic reality of his life. What irony: in a way he had been too much of an idealist, believing he could gauge all his people as being like him.

Dylan was coming to understand what Gaheris wanted him to know: "So the Nietzscheans decided to destroy it."

But Gaheris also wanted him to know that he had never been happy with the idea, that it was not what he wanted.

"We spent years preparing, waiting, arguing. For a long time, I opposed the destruction of the Systems Commonwealth. So did many others. The Treaty of Antares changed all that."

Dylan filled in: "The Magog."

Gaheris replied, his tone was a little more close to his feelings, remembering the recent encounter his Andromeda had with the Worldship: "Yes! The Magog. Savages. Predators. They eat sentient beings. They reproduce by rape. They killed over a billion people on Brandenburg Tor. They destroyed the Nietzschean colony on Hawking. And **what** did the Commonwealth do?"

Dylan answered: "We made peace with them!"

Gaheris went on, he wanted Dylan to know what had been the true catalyst of his actions:

"You compromised with monsters! The blood of over a billion people cried out for vengeance, and you made peace…

You have sown the wind. You shall reap the whirlwind."

Dylan slid his overloaded force-lance toward Gaheris, who leaped away, thrown into the air by the blast. He dropped his forcelance as he fell, knowing Dylan would be unarmed.

Dylan rushed him, trying to take the advantage, to subdue him, but he leaped up...fighting hand-to-hand with his best friend, intentionally missing the many openings he had to win. He was just stalling, knowing that Dylan did not want to kill him, but there was no way and if he kept this going long enough he would die.

Gaheris barely suppressed a scream of pain as Dylan slammed his right arm against a rail, ripping off a boneblade. He fought free, pulling away from Dylan to catch his breath and control the paralyzing pain that was spreading like fire through his nervous system. He could see Dylan's shock give way to desperate anger, the anger that would keep him alive, and ensure Gaheris's death. Fanning the burning flame he said: "Give up. You can't win." - knowing that Dylan would never give up, knowing that in the end Dylan would win...he would ensure it. Gaheris saw Dylan glance at the forcelance in Dawn's holster, and for a brief moment emotions of sorrow and even fear flashed through his eyes, knowing that this was it. Knowing that in a few seconds he would die... never again having the chance to be with his best friend.

Gaheris leaped for his own forcelance, knowing that Dylan would never shoot him if he was unarmed.

They both reached their forcelances, but Gaheris was ready to fire first. He aimed at Dylan, but then made an almost imperceptible shift to the right, intentionally missing Dylan by a hair, and giving his friend the chance to fire back.

As they both flew through the air, time slowing down again, they exchanged fire for the last time. Gaheris intentionally missed Dylan, his shot exploding just inches above as Dylan landed on the floor. But Gaheris was hit in the chest by the blast. His forcelance bounced away from him as he hit the deck, and he collapsed against the cool surface.

Dylan landed, the shock and horror he felt written on his face when he did not see Gaheris get up. He could not believe he had just seriously wounded his best friend.

Gaheris had gathered his left arm close to his chest, trying to roll over, to see Dylan one last time before he died. It was too much effort. He was dying, and although he tried as hard as he could, moving was too difficult. His eyes shut in unbearable agony as he tried to roll over, but then gave up as he heard Dylan running to his side. He relaxed back against the floor, feeling his life ebbing away, but at least calm knowing that his best friend was okay.

Dylan grabbed his friend by his raised left shoulder, turning him over to check on him, his shock turning into downright sorrow as he realized Gaheris was dying. The front of his chest was covered in blood, spilled from his heart where the blast had ripped through.

Dylan moving him was exceedingly painful for Gaheris. His left arm clenched against his body from the agony, but despite his intense pain, despite the knowledge that he had lost everything - sacrificed everything, as he lay on his back, his lips parted, silently looking up at Dylan, Gaheris's face showed a deep sense of peace and hope.

Dylan choked out, clearly regretting what he had just done: "Gaheris, what have you done?"

Within the deep sea of raging emotions, there was happiness. He was happy that through his sacrifice, he could save his best friend's life, could undo the mistake he made long ago. He was happy to see his best friend alive again. Happy that the universe would be a better place.

He knew Dylan felt betrayed, but he also knew that Dylan still cared for him, and would one day realize that Gaheris had always loved him, always treasured their friendship.

Gaheris whispered quietly:

"I'm proud of you."

An expression of sorrow filled Gaheris's features. There was so much more he wanted to say, but could not...

He fell silent for a moment, looking into Dylan's eyes. He saw Dylan's sadness, but he did not want his best friend to hurt. With a slight momentary frown, he said to Dylan, with the little life he had left, once again as if trying to give a beloved little brother advice:

"... You should be."

With those last words he fell silent. One single tear made its way from his eyes, across his temple, getting lost in the dark hair on the side of his head. He wept, but not from the pain. It was a tear of love and grief, finally seeing his beloved best friend alive again, yet having to part so soon.

Gaheris closed his eyes, leaning his head against Dylan's hand, patiently waiting for his end, knowing that if he had jumped just a nanosecond sooner, that blast would have hit him fully in the heart and he would be dead right now. As things were it had hit his heart, but halfway, the rest of the blast tearing into his right lung, giving him a few minutes to live. He could feel his wounded heart trying to go on beating, erratically convulsing with each beat, and his own blood bursting in ever weakening spurts from the cut arteries. It was over, there was nothing to go on for, he had succeeded in what he had come for, saving his best friend at the expense of his own life...all he needed to do now was wait.

Through all the unbearable pain, through the shock his body was going into, he could feel Dylan's tearful gaze resting upon him, he could feel the warmth of Dylan's touch where he had leaned against his hand...He could feel Dylan's love for him overpowering the unbearable agony, and though he knew he would die slowly, Gaheris was in some way grateful that he had these last moments with his friend.

He fought against the blackness that was pulling him down, not to survive, but so that he could be with his friend for as long as possible, holding onto his last conscious thoughts, to the love he felt that was transforming his physical agony into heaven.

Strange, how many people had asked if there was a heaven for people after they died...it seemed that he had found it, as he lay there dying, by his best friend's side.

Then he realized something was wrong, Dylan's hand moved behind his neck, the other pressing against his throat checking for a pulse. Then a wave of paralyzing agony washed over him as Dylan lifted his chest with his right arm, holding it against his own. No. He was supposed to die here, but Gaheris knew that if Dylan took him to medical, he had a slim chance of surviving. He tried to protest, calling his friend's name in a voice that was little more than a pained gasp: "Dylan." But he was cut off from going further as he choked on his own blood that rushed into his throat from his lung that was been torn open by the movement.

He could feel Dylan's love as warm tears fell on his throat from Dylan's eyes, but he could also feel Dylan's anger as he pulled him into his arms much too harshly and lifted him up. Another wave of agony and dizziness washed over him, the strain of moving too much for his dying body, and blackness overtook him, his last thought focusing on the one comforting thing he had left: Dylan's love for him.

Within her own mainframe, Andromeda watched over and over her memories of the fight between Dylan and Gaheris. She needed to understand, to know why this had happened - especially since it seemed that he would live and likely remain on-board her.

After seeing it for the thousandth time, and other memories of Dylan and Gaheris, she realized that though she could not understand why Gaheris had done what he did, she realized that there were times in their fight where Gaheris had held back. He could have won, he could have killed Dylan right where he stood, or several times during their fight...yet in the end it was he who now lay in her med-deck, each breath and heartbeat a struggle to survive.

Logically, she could find no explanation for why things happened the way they did, and it told her to be wary, but the part of her that made her sentient, the part that could feel...love...weep, told her that Gaheris's love for Dylan was what saved Dylan's life, and somehow deep down inside she felt she could trust him.

Three hundred years later, and just hours since Dylan had brought him here, Gaheris awakened in Medical.

As the ceiling of Med-deck came into focus, Gaheris tried to move his arms and realized they had been locked in restraints on the bed. His chest hurt unimaginably, and he could feel the oxygen-deprivation he was suffering from the lung damage. He could feel his heart still struggling with each beat, but it was functioning adequately.

He could feel the fracture on his own jawbone, but it was rapidly fading, thanks to the medical nanobots and his own bioengineered immune system.

What was not going away was the spikes of burning agony coming from his forearm where the boneblade had been ripped out... it was one of the most painful injuries possible for a Nietzschean, perhaps short of having his heart torn out... and the fact his arms were locked in those restraints was not helping any.

Pushing the pain from his mind, Gaheris breathed in deeply, still picking up the lingering scent of Dylan who had brought him here. He could not suppress the tears that filled his eyes, thinking of his best friend, thinking of what they had shared, and what he had seen them loose in his life...

Yet somehow through a strange twist of fate, and through the mysterious girl Trance - the person he never really understood, yet always felt that the sun shone through her eyes - he had somehow been given a second chance. A chance to save the person he loved the most, a chance to set things right.

Faced with this, his own death was a small price to pay. He knew that he would loose everything above and beyond his own life, his friendships, his chance at ever being happy again... he knew that the universe he was saving would hate him...that the person he loved most would never know how much he loved him...but he had been willing to give it all up to save Dylan, to give his friend one last gift of love.

Yet now he did not know what to think. He had saved Dylan, he had set things right, but he too had survived...was that a problem? Trance had never told him he had to die...but somehow he had known it was necessary...or was it simply a manifestation of the one thing he had wished for the most for two years...that he had died that fateful day?

Did his survival endanger the perfect possible future?

Another question raced through his mind, even more painful than the first. Would Dylan hate him now? If he did, Gaheris would not be angry. After all, Dylan had every reason to hate him, and he did not know how much Gaheris had sacrificed to save Dylan.

One thing was certain, nothing would ever shake Gaheris's love for Dylan, **nothing**.

But…. if Dylan hated him now, could he bear that?

Part of him wanted to end his life right now, and avoid the pain of feeling Dylan's inevitable anger, to not see the pain he knew he had caused his friend by bringing him into this dark world...Yet the greater part of him vowed that no matter how much it hurt him, he would be by his best friend's side till the end.

In the end, his love for Dylan would give him the strength to be there for his friend when he needed him, to protect him, even die for him... no matter how much it hurt, having to face every day the person he loved most...every day hoping the sun of love would rise in his universe, and every day having his hopes crushed.

One thing was certain. Right now, he had to be by Dylan's side.

He quietly called out: "Andromeda."

Andromeda's hologram materialized by his side, her deep brown eyes looking at him with a sort of understanding, but still penetrating, as if seeing to the very depths of his soul.

She asked: "How are you feeling?"

Gaheris smiled very slightly at her and admitted: "Better."

He went to move his arm and was stopped by the restraints. Andromeda explained: "We were not sure what to expect from you." Gaheris noticed the hurt in her voice...it made sense; he was her friend as well, so she felt betrayed.

Gaheris dropped his gaze, and asked Andromeda for a briefing on the current situation, knowing already what he would hear. Even though it had happened before, the knowledge that his family was gone still hurt immensely.

One thing worried him though. Unlike him who had killed the mercenaries, Dylan was trying to do this more peacefully, and as a result, there were still most of the mercenaries running around the ship. He said to Andromeda: "Please, you have to release me... I will not hurt Dylan or you."

Andromeda was silent in thought for a few moments, her deep gaze boring into his own, before the restraints slid open. He moved his right arm, grateful for the relief of the pressure on his boneblade root, and said :"Thank you."

Andromeda nodded, and then said thoughtfully: "I am not sure why, but somehow I believe I can trust you...perhaps it's because I know you had many opportunities to kill Dylan in that fight... Was it that you hesitated because some part of you did not want to hurt him? Or did you somehow want him to win, even if it cost your life?"

Gaheris remained silent, and Andromeda continued: "I know you pretty well after all these years, and I believe you never wanted to hurt him...if not for any other reason but that he means too much to you...

I will not pretend to understand why you did what you did, but nevertheless I think I can trust you."

Gaheris slowly sat up, still utterly exhausted from the physical trauma. He looked into her eyes, thankful beyond words of, in a sense, her forgiveness. He remembered her bitterness toward him in his own time, and knew all too well that it stemmed from the loss she could not bear. More than anything he wished he could have taken back the pain he caused her, and her words proved that in this he had succeeded.

He said to her softly: "It is hard to explain, Andromeda."

Andromeda nodded, knowing that this was bound to remain a wound in his soul that would perhaps never heal, and not wanting to hurt him.

Gaheris smiled sadly, and said, his voice trembling with emotion: "Thank you...for believing in me. I will not break your trust."

Gaheris stepped off the bio-bed, and was instantly assaulted by a wave of dizziness and pain. Andromeda exclaimed in a scolding tone: "Where do you think you are going?"

He replied perfectly honestly - and in a tone that suggested that it was the most obvious thing in the world: "To find Dylan, and see if he needs help."

Andromeda stared at him momentarily before replying, knowing that Dylan was still very hurt and angry: "That is not such a good idea."

She elucidated: "Look, Dylan is still pretty upset...and you still should be in intensive care. Given the severity of your wound, you are in no condition to fight."

Gaheris looked at her, his sorrow showing in his gaze as he replied: "I know, Dylan is hurt by what I did. I know we may never be as close as we were, but right now there is a battle going on...this is the end of the line, and he can use all the ... allies he has."

Andromeda noted the pain in his voice, the deep stab of sorrow as he said allies, not friends.

Gaheris pulled on a shirt, his already wounded heart overstressed by the exertion, and upon noticing Andromeda still watching him with the scolding look that said he should stay in medical, he steadied his breathing, and met her gaze saying: "Don't worry, I can fight."

With those words, Gaheris took his forcelance that was laying nearby, and putting it in the holster, exited medical in search of his Captain, and best friend.


	2. Chapter 2

**"Whatever is done for love **

**occurs beyond good and evil. "**

Friedrich Nietzsche.

The day was over, and they had a crew again, the same crew Gaheris had recruited in his own time to help rebuild the shattered universe...

But the universe was not the only thing that had been shattered by the tragic events that had transpired in 300 years...

His best friend's heart had been shattered, much like his own...

After their new crew departed to their newly-assigned quarters, Dylan had gone his own way... to be alone with his pain.

Gaheris silently entered the OBS deck in search of his best friend.

He had seen the tears in Dylan's eyes earlier, tears he had tried to hide... but although Dylan was not weeping now, just from the way he was standing, leaning dejectedly against the sill, staring at the stars without seeing their beauty, Gaheris knew he was in pain... And he understood what Dylan was feeling.

Gaheris knew what it was like to stand in the ashes, having seen everything you believed in fall apart... your whole universe torn from you. Gaheris knew Dylan had lost everything: his friends, his family, his fiancé, even in a sense, his own life and time, only to wake up and find himself in a dismal future of chaos and despair.

It had been shocking for him too, the realization of the darkness that had enveloped the universe, coupled with the death of his best friend, and the loss of his family had left deep wounds in his soul that would never heal, but in time he had gotten used to the constant pain.

What had hurt the most, of course, was his own pain and guilt for what he had done... He could still see Dylan's death by his hand as clearly as the fateful moment it happened, those memories had been burned eternally into his soul, they haunted his dreams each night and tormented his broken heart each waking moment... He could still feel the deep scars of his two year trail of tears.

Somehow it made him feel better, the knowledge that he had gone to sacrifice everything - his life, his friendships, his reputation, his chance at ever having a family again... to save Dylan, to give his friend a final gift of love... and it had almost turned out perfect: This time he had ensured that Dylan had survived unharmed, this time he had let Dylan win ...but he had survived too.

He very nearly had died, the wound itself would have killed most Nietzscheans, but somehow he had survived.

A second chance? The future unknown... what hurt now was that Dylan did not know - and could not know the truth.

Dylan had hid well enough his emotions when he had introduced himself and Gaheris to their new crew, but to Gaheris who had known him for years, he could see a burning torrent of anger and bitterness in Dylan's eyes when he looked at him, and it hurt more than imaginable. It hurt him because he loved Dylan and the emotions of anger and betrayal in Dylan's eyes tore deep into his own soul, the unbearable pain they caused further magnified because he knew Dylan was hurting, and he felt responsible.

Gaheris had fallen still, unsure if this was a good idea. In a sense, Dylan's pain was very much because of him. Would it be best to talk to him now?

There were too many things to consider, too many powerful emotions and intense pain filling the hearts of both men for Gaheris to know if this was the best thing to do... but he could not just turn his back, he could not stand by and do nothing knowing that the person he loved the most was hurting.

Tentatively, he called his friend's name: "Dylan."

After an agonizing pause, Dylan replied wearily, not turning away from the stars: "Why are you here, Gaheris?"

His voice seemed tired, tired of life itself, tired of the pain.

Gaheris thought for a moment of his reply. In that moment he wanted to do nothing more than put his arms around Dylan, to dry his tears, to try to somehow ease his pain... to be for him the friend, the hope that Dylan had been for him. But Dylan did not want a friend right that moment... at least, not Gaheris... even if he needed him.

Keeping his voice as level as possible, Gaheris replied:

"To talk to you."

Dylan's reply was burning with pain and anger:

"You want to talk.

What is there to talk about! What do I have left?

Everyone I knew is gone: My folks, my friends, Sarah...

I lost everything, even time itself."

Gaheris replied softly, the memories of his own lost beloved family burning into his heart... his little children's brilliant smiles filling his mind... now separated from him by death... and 300 years:

"So did I. I also lost people I loved. I also lost everything."

What Dylan did not know is that he had lost everything... twice.

Dylan's response caught him off guard, as he spun around to face Gaheris, the fury in his words matching that in his eyes:

"Perhaps, but Nietzscheans don't love, remember!"

Gaheris had loved his family, he loved Dylan... he had known love in its purest form, only to have those he loved taken from him... one way or the other.

To hear those words from anyone he had known so long would have hurt deeply, but to hear them from Dylan, the person he loved more than anything, the person he would gladly give his life for, hurt more than he could bear, and they burned into his soul like fire.

All he could say in response, as he struggled to keep the sorrow out of his voice, was a barely audible:

"That's where you are wrong."

Dylan turned to face the window again. He knew he was wrong; Gaheris had explained to him before why that particular human bias towards Nietzscheans was a misconception. He knew he had hurt Gaheris deeply, but there was no way he could apologize right then.

When Dylan spoke again, he sounded weary once more:

"Things have changed since our time, Gaheris.

The Commonwealth had order, structure, peace, law...

Now there is nothing but chaos... Civilization is in ruins…

All because your people decided they could do better!"

Gaheris sighed:

"This was not how it was supposed to turn out..."

He went on, a hint of resolve in his voice:

"But the Commonwealth had it's flaws, Dylan.

Their fatal flaw was trusting the Magog, the Treaty of Antares...

Being politically correct at the expense of all the lives in three galaxies and beyond,

at the expense of telling the millions that fought and died, the billions of innocents that were slaughtered by the Magog that their deaths meant **nothing."**

Gaheris knew that the Nietzschean uprising had started for the right reasons, but it had gone wrong because some of his people made terrible mistakes. Nevertheless, he wanted Dylan to know why it had started, why he had done what he did.

Dylan spun around, exclaiming bitterly between clenched teeth:

"No. The Commonwealth's fatal mistake was trusting the Nietzscheans!... people who are genetically engineered to be selfish and treacherous!"

Dylan's words burned into Gaheris's soul like the plasma round that had torn into his chest earlier that day. He had seen the flaws in his 'perfect' people... but he knew only too well that Dylan was referring to him, and the pain it caused him was unimaginable.

Dylan's words caught his attention again, yet another dagger in his heart.

Now he could hear the bitterness clearly in Dylan's voice:

"My fatal mistake was that I trusted you."

Gaheris could not reply, the sheer agony crushing his soul in its cruel grip. In his mind he reminded himself: "Dylan does not know... he cannot know..." but it could not take away the unbearable pain that filled his soul.

He struggled to suppress his sorrow, as tears clouded his vision, trying desperately to force them back.

He had known he was sacrificing everything for a universe that would hate him as a traitor, and he could live with that... But to have the person he loved more than anything in the universe, the person he would sacrifice everything to save, hate him... was too much to bear.

Dylan turned back to the window, realizing that again he had hurt his friend deeply and said quietly:

"Just go, Gaheris."

Gaheris turned to leave, his hopes of ever finding love from the one he loved crushed...

His hopes of finding redemption for the one fateful mistake he had given everything to undo shattered...

He managed to bite out, failing to entirely hide the bitterness in his voice:

"As you wish."

As he approached the door, his eyes filled with tears, no point anymore in hiding them, because no-one would be there to see him weep... no-one cared.

Just then, Gaheris stopped in his tracks, his attention drawn by the sound of Dylan sobbing against the windowsill, and pulling his forcelance from its holster.

That made Gaheris freeze. He turned back to see Dylan, who in that moment seemed so broken down... and he could not help but fear: perhaps Dylan felt so alone and hurt that his own life meant nothing?

He had been there, two years ago... a lifetime ago... and now Gaheris knew he could not leave, not when Dylan was hurting so deeply. He had to stay, no matter how much it cost him.

Silently Gaheris moved back to Dylan's side, gently laying his right hand on his friend's shoulder, and calling his name, fully aware that the weapon Dylan was holding could easily be turned against him, given his current state of mind.

If that happened, although Gaheris was armed - and even wounded he still could win - he would not fight back...

Deep down inside he wished he had died back there at Hephaestus... because then he could still see the love and tenderness in Dylan's eyes... and in truth he wished it could have been the last sight he saw.

What Gaheris had not expected was Dylan slamming his left elbow into Gaheris's chest with all his unbridled Heavy-Worlder strength.

Gaheris barely suppressed a scream of pain as Dylan's elbow hit exactly where the plasma blast had, the force of the blow shattering the newly mended ribs that had been vaporized by the plasma, and striking against his wounded heart and lung, tearing them open again.

He was thrown backward through the air only to land on his side, where he reflexively wrapped his right arm around his wounded chest, trying to regulate his erratic heartbeat while he gasped for air, each ragged breath sending waves of blinding, paralyzing pain through his being.

The sound of a gasp that was almost a scream, and the crunch of several ribs snapping brought Dylan back to his senses. Suddenly reality came crashing back to him, breaking through the dark stormy sea of anger and pain that had engulfed his mind... the realization of what he had done driven home by the quiet pained gasps he could hear coming from Gaheris and the sight of his best friend laying on his side, convulsions of sheer agony shaking his body.

Dylan's heart was flooded with grief. He had nearly killed Gaheris today... then Gaheris had come to be there for him, to comfort him in what way he could, and he responded by breaking Gaheris's heart again and again, only to turn around and nearly kill him again... "What have I done"... echoed in Dylan's mind.

His words and actions in that moment had seemed justified... but nothing could tell his grief-filled heart and mind that they were right.

Shocked by his actions, Dylan dropped his weapon and rushed to Gaheris's side, helping Gaheris to sit up slightly, leaning on his left elbow.

Gathering his knees closer to him to help balance himself, Gaheris lifted his right hand from his chest, gently but firmly pushing Dylan back to arm's length and said quietly, shaking his head:

"Dylan, for what I did ... you have every right to hate me."

Dylan could hear, beneath the intense physical pain that showed in Gaheris's voice, and his attempt to hide his sorrow, the unbearable emotional and spiritual anguish Gaheris was suffering.

Knowing that Gaheris was hurting because of what he had said and done, broke Dylan's heart. He shook his head, as tears filled his eyes, and he said softly, his voice barely more than a whisper:

"I don't hate you, Gaheris."

Dylan met Gaheris's tear-filled gaze, his own blue eyes just as sad:

"... I cannot hate you, because no matter what has happened...I can never stop loving you."

Dylan's gaze wandered a bit:

"I'm just a bit confused. I am not sure what to believe in anymore..."

His eyes met Gaheris's once again as he whispered, choked by emotion:

"...But I can never hate you."

Dylan reached toward him once again and this time, Gaheris leaned into his embrace, a few of his own tears overflowing as he whispered:

"I'm so sorry"

Dylan responded, his own voice equally choked by tears:

"I'm sorry... sorry that I said the things I said...sorry I hurt you."

Gaheris's only words in response were a whispered:

"I love you Dylan."

Yet they said all that was needed... and all that words could never fully express... his infinite love, his forgiveness...

Gaheris held Dylan close for what seemed like an eternity, their tears mingling, seas of immeasurable pain bleeding out against each other's shoulders... but there were also tears of happiness, of hope... happiness that they still had each other, happiness that though their trust had to be rebuilt, **their love had survived**.

Dylan broke the silence, whispering:

"I am so sorry, Gaheris...

I was so caught up in my own pain that I forgot you have lost just as much..."

Dylan took a deep breath calming himself before going on:

"I am happy for one thing though... that you are here with me, that I'm not alone, because I still have you by my side."

Gaheris closed his eyes, tears streaming faster from them as memories of his life... his two-year trail of tears... flooded his mind... as memories of Dylan's death tore into his pained heart.

Finding his voice, Gaheris whispered:

"You cannot imagine how happy I am we're still together."

Gaheris smiled very slightly through his tears. He had not only been given the chance to atone for his tragic mistake... they had a second chance to be together... He had the chance to be with the person he loved more than anything in the universe... and had been taken from him forever.

Dylan pulled back very slightly, enough to look at his friend, and seeing his obvious tiredness and pain, said soothingly:

"Come on, let's get you to Med-Deck."

Gaheris replied quietly:

"No, I'll be OK..."

Gaheris met Dylan's gaze, whispering softly:

"Just please... stay with me."

He could hear the desperation and loneliness in his own voice, but he had lost Dylan once...by his own hand, Death had separated them and he had known that nothing would ever make things right...

Now by a miracle they were together again, the person he loved most right there in his arms, alive and well...

Their love still alive...surviving where everything else had been crushed by the Long Night.

Gaheris never wanted this moment to end.

The rest of the night found them sitting together, looking at the starry universe. Eventually Gaheris drifted off to sleep, leaning against Dylan's shoulder.

...

It would be a long hard path to restore order to the universe, to rebuild what had been destroyed - including their trust... but they had each other and neither of them had to walk that path alone.


	3. Chapter 3

**"Whatever is done for love **

**occurs beyond good and evil. "**

Friedrich Nietzsche.

Gaheris walked down the empty hall toward his own quarters. Within his mind and heart raged a burning sea of emotion. It had been a few months since that night when he had fallen asleep by Dylan's side, exhausted from the wound that had nearly killed him, and from the emotional tides of that day...finally able to feel some small measure of peace because Dylan still loved him. Of course he knew all too well that Dylan's words "I don't know what to believe in anymore..." meant that he no longer believed in him...no longer trusted him.

Then he had thought there was hope, hope that he could once again earn Dylan's trust, yet in the past months, his hope had slowly died, a little each day, as he knew all too well that Dylan was avoiding him. They used to spend almost every available moment together, sharing their sorrows and joys. He missed the games they used to play...yet now, Dylan had hardly spoken a word to him in months, and of those precious few, most were on Command.

Nothing could ever shake his love for Dylan...just as Gaheris knew that Dylan still loved him, deep down inside...but the unhealed breach of trust was unbearable.

As he passed Dylan's quarters, Gaheris's sensitive hearing picked up something...Dylan's voice, his anger and bitterness clearly audible:

"I have something to confess. I'm here to make peace with the

Nietzscheans, but inside me, I want to kill every single one of them.

Because of him...Gaheris Rhade."

Gaheris heard Rev's voice...

"The first officer of your ship."

Gaheris froze as he heard Dylan's response:

"More than that. My friend. He was supposed to be the best man

at my wedding. And then he betrayed me. Because I trusted him, the Nietzschean invasion got past my ship and the Commonwealth was destroyed. I lost my crew, my family, my friends...my fiancé. I lost the time and age I belonged to, Rev.

Hell, I lost civilization itself!"

Some small part of him felt he shouldn't be standing outside Dylan's door, listening, but the greater part of him was too broken to move, even to flee the pain. He could not blame Dylan for feeling as he did, nor would it ever shake his love for his friend...but nothing could take away the pain Dylan's words caused him...

The rest of the conversation passed through his mind and heart like a salvo of missiles, tearing apart his already broken soul, leaving nothing but indescribable pain in their wake.

"And now you're wondering, is it worth reaching out to Nietzscheans?"

"They're genetically engineered to be paranoid and selfish and treacherous. Am I right to be prejudiced?"

"As a Magog, my own genes predispose me to slaughter

indiscriminately, eat my victims, lay eggs in the paralyzed bodies of sentient beings.

I think if you were truly prejudiced, you would have shot me on sight."

" It's not the same. You're a Wayist. You're the most peaceful person I know."

"Ahhhhh. Then in each species, no matter how horrible, there's room for improvement.

You don't have to forget. You don't even have to forgive. But you must look for the good in the beings you encounter.

Otherwise, your restored Commonwealth will be founded on distrust, and it will be over before it even begins."

The ensuing silence reminded Gaheris to leave, and still reeling with the shock and pain of what he had just heard, he staggered back to his quarters, and sank down on his bed, engaging privacy mode.

Had anyone been watching him now, they would have known how deeplynhurt he was. Everything about his posture betrayed his deep pain. He seemed totally broken, too crushed to sit up straight, almost curled up from the pain, his elbows resting on his knees, his head bowed low with total misery.

There was no reason to hold back his tears, except that for a long time the pain and shock were too intense even for tears.

Slowly one drop, then another, and another ran from his eyes, becoming an unstoppable torrent... like his blood the day he had almost died... Not for the first time, Gaheris wished he had died that day.

His right hand descended, pulling his forcelance from its holster. A flick of his wrist activated it, and he pressed the charged weapon against his heart. In this moment he wanted nothing more than to feel his consciousness, his pain melt away into nothingness as he died, to find peace at last.

But he knew he could not do it, because if he took his own life, Dylan would understand why... and then he would have to live with the same pain and regret that had been Gaheris's torment for two years, and he could not let that happen.

Regretfully, he holstered the weapon, and drying his tears, burying his pain deep inside, prepared for his duty shift in Command.

Dylan sat looking at the empty Go board, where he and Gaheris had spent so many hours together.

His thoughts anywhere but the present... He remembered Gaheris's words, words that had never stopped giving him an uneasy feeling, but at the time had simply brushed off:

"It's only cheating if you get caught."

Memories of the worst moments of his life flashed through his mind. He dove, taking cover behind a console, calling in shock: "Rhade!"

Gaheris's response burned into his mind: "I tried to warn you!"

Suddenly he understood. Gaheris had been warning him:

"Three years we've been playing this game. Have you always been cheating?"

"Haven't you?"

"Why would I cheat?"

"The same reason I do. So that you can win."

Still angry and bitter, Dylan looked up at the frame holding pictures of him and Gaheris, saying in a low tone laced with bitterness, yet also a ray of understanding:

"Why didn't I listen? You were warning me. You'd do anything to win... Even kill me."

Yet it was not he who had nearly died that day...it was Gaheris. When Gaheris had fallen, and not gotten up again, Dylan's rage melted away to shock and horror at what he had done. He remembered turning Gaheris over to check on him, seeing the horrible wound in his chest, and whispering terrified and regretful:

"Gaheris, what have you done?"

Gaheris's response was quiet, too weakened to do more than whisper:

"I'm proud of you... You should be."

Dylan muttered bitterly to the silent image of his friend who smiled back from the photo:

"You were proud for me. Because I won."

He knew what to do. If not anything else, Gaheris had taught him a valuable lesson about Nietzscheans, and now Dylan knew what to expect from Tyr. No-one but himself and Andromeda knew about his decision to start an overload in her AP chamber... This time, Dylan would be prepared. He was ready for another round.

Dylan looked back at the old photograph, pulled back into the memories of the past. He remembered the day they had played that game of Go, what Gaheris had said with a smile: "Oh, we have love."

Dylan had known only too well that Gaheris meant him...he loved him.

In his mind's eye, Dylan saw Gaheris laying before him, dying from a wound he had inflicted... Yet despite his certainty at knowing what Gaheris had meant... something stirred deep within him.

Gaheris's whispered words held buried within them so much emotion, so much pain and yet love. He had seen the one tear that ran from Gaheris's eyes, and even the slight smile that graced his lips as he leaned against Dylan's hand, laying there feeling his life ebbing away.

Somewhere deep down inside Dylan wondered if Gaheris had always wanted it to end this way...for no other reason but that he loved him and wanted him to go on.

Why had Gaheris told him he should be proud...if not to try to ease his pain? Why did Dylan feel that there was so much more meaning in Gaheris's words "I'm proud of you."

His mind was spinning... the conflict this was causing within his heart was tearing it apart.

Perhaps one day he could sort it out, but right now he had to get to Command.

Dylan and Gaheris turned to face Tyr as Guderian's forces led their crew in hostage.

Gaheris's gaze was locked on Tyr...not like it had not happened before to him, but with a weapon pointed at Dylan, his anger was magnified exponentially. In that moment if looks could kill, Tyr would be having his funeral.

Suddenly both he and Dylan froze as something neither of them expected was said. Guderian was offering Gaheris a chance to be a husband and a father, to have a pride again...to no longer be alone...provided he would help them against Dylan.

Dylan froze in terror... Which Nietzschean would refuse? Gaheris had lost everything and everyone during their 300 years at the event horizon...only to find that his entire family had died, his line erased from existence. Now he was alone, knowing that his genes would die with him, even alienated from his best friend...what was left for him here?

Gaheris moved, but only slightly, only to step closer to Dylan's side, his response to their offer a long and very angry growl resonating from deep within his chest. Had it been directed at him, even Dylan would have flinched.

What happened there struck home within Dylan's heart. He could feel Gaheris by his side, giving him silent support, willing to risk everything for his friend. He could feel something practically emanating from his friend...it was angry but also fierce and protective...he could feel his love.

Despite the desperate situation, despite Andromeda's countdown to their deaths...he felt safe.

In the end, they won. Dylan had correctly predicted Tyr's move, and had been prepared. As the Orca pride left, Andromeda initiated emergency venting, and all was well for the moment.

Gaheris stepped through the doors to the Obs deck, where Dylan was leaning on the sill, looking out at the stars. He quietly called out: "Dylan."

Dylan turned to face him: "Gaheris."

Gaheris inclined his head slightly, waiting for Dylan to speak, knowing that there was much on his mind. Dylan waited silently, his only response was to raise a brow, clearly waiting for Gaheris to speak first.

Gaheris sighed silently. There was no surprise in Dylan no longer wanting to confide in him, but it did not take away the pain he felt.

Holding his voice perfectly level despite his sorrow, he said: "I am proud of you."

Dylan sighed almost wearily, turning toward the stars again: "Why?"

Gaheris stepped closer, still leaving a distance between him and Dylan, before speaking again:

"For learning to survive."

This time he could not keep the pain out of his voice. He had tried to warn Dylan, tried to teach him not to trust so naively...and Dylan had in the end learned...but Gaheris knew that what he had taught Dylan had shattered Dylan's trust in him, perhaps forever...and that hurt more than he could bear.

Gaheris stood frozen in place for a moment, not seeing the tears that had filled Dylan's eyes, as Dylan thought of the tragic irony...both times Gaheris had said he was proud of him, he had hurt Gaheris terribly... this time perhaps in a worse way. He had picked up the pain in Gaheris's voice, the deep sorrow he was struggling so hard to conceal...and in that moment he knew...

Gaheris walked with a heavy heart to exit the OBS deck, while Dylan pulled his forcelance from the holster, leaving it on the sill, and turned towards Gaheris. He called his friend's name, just as he reached the door: "Gaheris."

Trying hard to fight back the pain that radiated from his gaze, Gaheris turned, walking towards Dylan who came toward him, meeting him at the center of the room.

Dylan closed the gap between them, stepping closer to Gaheris than he had been since that night right after he'd nearly killed him.

He could see the torrent of emotions flashing through Gaheris's eyes, he could see the pain and fear that was there. He could see the desperate hope in his eyes, hope, needing to believe he could one day regain his best friend's trust...and the resigned sorrow, certain that he would be hurt yet again - certain that his deepest wish would never come true.

Dylan said softly, catching Gaheris's gaze with his own:

"Gaheris. I know I have been avoiding you lately..."

Dylan sighed and lowered his gaze before continuing:

"I guess I have been angry...angry at you for things that were not in your power to change. Some part of me blamed you for all I have lost...forgetting that you have lost just as much, if not more... and the universe...Civilization is in tatters, the strong prey on the weak, there is no justice, no unity, no law... "

Dylan broke off noticing the hurt in Gaheris's expression. He said softly: "But I know that's never how you wanted things to turn out..."

Glancing back up to meet his friend's gaze, not sure how to go on, Dylan said:

"What Tyr did today...it got me thinking. I needed to understand what he would do, how he thinks...And in the process I realized something. You had tried to warn me, many times in fact. I was just too slow.

...You tried to teach me, to help me understand Nietzscheans, to foresee what was coming... And I think I have finally understood what you were warning me about all along, but I also have understood something else..."

Dylan looked into his friend's eyes, not missing the pain within their depths. He took Gaheris's hand in his own, and gently pulled so that Gaheris's arm was between them, with his relaxed boneblades pointing towards Dylan.

Holding Gaheris's gaze with his own, both mirroring the same sadness...yet also hope, Dylan said in a voice so soft it was almost a whisper: "I trust you, Gaheris."

Gaheris's eyes filled with tears that he could no longer hold back, knowing that what Dylan had done was proof of his trust, knowing as well as Dylan how vulnerable he was in this moment. Gaheris had noticed earlier that Dylan was unarmed. Yet Dylan's breathing and heartbeat - clearly audible to Gaheris's enhanced hearing - had remained perfectly calm.

Gaheris dropped his arm, pulling Dylan into his embrace. He rested his forehead against Dylan's shoulder, weeping tears of sorrow but also joy, knowing that at last his long journey of tears had come to a happy end, knowing that Dylan still loved him and trusted him, that their friendship never died.

Dylan held Gaheris close, resting his head on his friend's shoulder, weeping too. He knew he had hurt Gaheris deeply in the past few months, and more than anything he was deeply grateful that Gaheris was still his friend, still loved him.

After what seemed like an eternity, when both their tears had subsided, Dylan whispered: "I trust you with my life...I know that what happened between us was never what you wanted. It was what you had to do. You were given an impossible choice, your people's survival and safety for the universe...or me. I guess in a sense you tried to choose both. That's why you were warning me, you never wanted to hurt me."

Dylan pulled back slightly to look into Gaheris's eyes, saying with a smile though his tears: "It's an honor that I mean so much to you. Thank you."

Gaheris smiled sadly too, looking into Dylan's eyes and echoing the words he had said so long ago - only a few months for Dylan...but an eternity of unbearable pain for him - "It's an honor to serve with you."

His voice trembled with the deep emotion:

"And an honor to be your friend."

Dylan smiled gently saying: "The honor is mine."

They stood side-by-side, looking out at the stars, for over an hour, silently enjoying each other's presence, each other's love like healing rain falling on a parched desert, or the life-giving rays of the sun penetrating and dispelling the darkness of their sorrow.

Unknown to them a sun smiled. Now that they had passed this hardship, she knew that no matter what, their friendship would only grow stronger.


End file.
