Harry Potter 1. Don't Drink and Argue

Disclaimer: As always I own nothing but the original characters and the situations all characters end up in. Everything else belongs to someone else and that's the way of it.h

Don't Drink and Argue

Thanks to the liquor everyone was consuming in great quantities the atmosphere in the room had improved greatly. The group of teachers, many of them old enough to know better, were all drunk or so close it was rather hard to tell that they weren't just as pissed as the majority of the faculty. No one would argue that they didn't have cause to celebrate though, since anyone who'd ever had the misfortune to meet, much less teach Philip Dingleberry would completely understand celebrating the fact that the idiot wouldn't be returning to Hogwarts to repeat his third year for the fourth time. The boy had apparently decided to break the rules and attempt to practice his potion making the week before school started once more and things had gone wrong. Horribly wrong. The boy was now a resident of St. Mungos for the foreseeable future and that meant none of them had to deal with the boy or the kid's delusional parents who believed their son was a victim of bad teaching and not as dumb as a troll.

Said parents were determined that the kid graduate from Hogwarts as all his ancestors had done, so as soon as the boy was returned to something resembling a human being he'd be back, unfortunately, but until then they were all celebrating.

After all, school started in two days and this was the best news many of the teachers had gotten since the end of the war.

The two youngest teachers of the bunch were also one of the big reasons everyone had been quick to dive into the liquor they'd acquired for said celebration. Normally, while at Hogwarts, Albus Potter and Scorpius Malfoy stayed the hell out of each other's way and were civil enough when that wasn't an option. It had served the two well during their years at school together and both had been teaching at the school for the past two years without any major incidents on their records.

Or that's how it was up until it was discovered that they were dating the same guy over the summer.

Not being idiots they'd quickly realized that they'd both been completely in the dark about the other, which was what had prevented them from taking pages out of their fathers' books where the other was concerned. But it had definitely put a strain on their already barely cordial relationship, especially since neither man was the type to talk things out in order to assert their thoughts and feelings on the matter. As it was they'd both left their cheating boyfriend in his apartment and got the hell out of there without even letting their ex explain or even give them some hint as to who had been the other man.

For his part Albus considered the whole debacle as the final nail in the coffin so to speak. He was ready to accept, once and for all, that he was just too much like his Uncle Charlie and was doomed to be a bachelor for the rest of his life. Though doomed probably wasn't the right word seeing as there were good things about being a bachelor, particularly when you were gay. It wasn't like he could have children biologically after all, and he could always adopt when he was old enough to handle single parenting.

And worse came to worse he always had his animals.

It was hard to find the idea appealing at the moment though, as he was sitting beside another confirmed bachelor who, he'd always thought, regretted never having married or had kids. But then Hagrid's life had never been an easy one period, which just made it that much sadder and wrong.

And thinking that had the younger man throwing an arm around his friend's waist since he couldn't reach Hagrid's shoulder, joining him in his drinking song.

)

Later That Night

As their suites were across from each other Albus and Scorpius had no choice but to walk back together unless they wanted to look so childish that they couldn't even handle each other's company for the short, less than ten minute walk. They'd been kicked out of the teacher's lounge along with everyone else after all, and they were the only ones living in this hallway currently. Thankfully they were drunk enough that they weren't even really thinking about why they were at odds for the moment, minds focused on how good it was going to feel to get into their beds and under their covers.

When they arrived at their destination good manners had Albus turning to wish the other man good night, Scorpius so surprised by the gesture that he spun back around with the intention of acknowledging the comment, his head spinning as a result so that he stumbled towards him instead.

Instinct again kicking in the Gryffindor moved in to wrap his arms around the Slytherin in support, aware enough to know that he could handle hard liquor better than the blonde in his grasp could. He was bigger, for one thing, and for another when he had alcohol it wasn't the fancy wines and cocktails Mr. Pureblood was likely used to, Albus thought with a smirk.

"Potter…why are you holding me?"

"It seemed like the thing to do at the time?"

"Moron." Though the man was incredibly warm, Scorpius thought as he fought the urge to move closer. Potter wasn't THAT much bulkier than he was, but those muscles he could feel through his clothes were rather nice too. Too bad they belonged to Albus Potter. "Was this why he screwed around on me with you? Because of your muscles?"

Scorpius wasn't even aware he'd spoken that outloud until Albus informed him that it didn't matter why the little shit had two timed them, just that he had.

"Your muscles aren't even that big."

Drunk enough to care, Albus drew back and then deliberately lifted up the hem of his shirt to show off the fact that there was nothing but toned flesh there, even if he didn't have the serious definition his older brother sported. "You're just jealous because you've got the same body you had when we were students together and I've got this."

Flushing with insult Scorpius glared at the man, his voice laced with venom. "I do not. And don't talk to me about looks, Mr. Perpetual Bedhead."

"Sorry for having better things to do than spend hours on my personal grooming."

"I do not spend hours on my grooming!"

"Oh please. If I threw you head first onto the ground you'd probably be able to slide across the floor like a greased watermelon."

"Bastard!" Pulling back his fist Scorpius aimed for the Gryffindor's smug face, cursing when the other man fingers curved around his, halting it before it could make contact.

Moving entirely on instinct Albus turned and backed Scorpius up against the wall, keeping a tight grip on both the man's wrists to be safe while he used the rest of his body to pin the undeniably dangerous Slytherin against the cool stone. And since he didn't appreciate being insulted, or having fists thrown in his direction, Albus's resort was as nasty as his mood was becoming as he suggested that the reason why their mutual ex had hooked up with him in the first place was because Scorpius's tongue was nothing short of venomous and who would want that in their mouth?

"Are you suggesting that I don't know how to snog? How dare you-I'll show you who's the better kisser, Potter. Prepare to be ruined for life."

Determined to prove his point and defend his honor Scorpius moved in and went about snogging the Gryffindor to the best of his ability, deliberately bringing his tongue into play since that had been insulted too. And if he quickly forgot exactly why he was doing this, other than the man tasted amazing, well he remembered eventually.

Breaking off the kiss, Scorpius stuck out his chin and tried not to think about how sorry he was to end the contact. "So there. See, best is me. I mean I'm the best." The snogging had gone to his bloody head as much as the booze.

"We'll see about that."

This time they were both equal participants in the snogging, Albus letting Scorpius's arms go so that he could cup the Slytherin's ass in his hands. It was a really nice ass, the Gryffindor noted, wondering how he'd missed that all these years.

How they went from making out in the hallway to the inside of Albus's rooms was something they'd never know, the sexual and alcohol daze they were in making that part pretty much a blur in both their minds. All they knew for sure was that somehow they got into the room and ended up taking turns slamming the other against one of the two walls in determined shows of domination that didn't last long before the other managed to gain the upper hand through strength or cunning. Both were dominant males after all, and neither was used to being submissive or willing to behave that way. This was just another competition between them, another way of proving that they would never bend to the will of the other.

Eventually the walls ended as they stumbled into the parlor, both cursing and clutching the other for support as they struggled to stay on their feet.

"Still need me to hold you up for support, Malfoy?" Albus managed to pant out after breaking off their latest kiss with a loud, sexy as hell pop, struggling to get some air to the brain cells the Slytherin had fried. "Do you have any muscles at all?"

And to find out for himself Albus reached out and yanked the man's jumper up and over the blonde's head, tossing it aside before turning his attention to running his hands over the now bare torso. Not bad at all, he informed Scorpius, though pretty girlie.

Since he couldn't argue that his stomach wasn't as muscled as the Gryffindor's Scorpius's lips curved into a scowl. "That's not what's important." Reaching between them he made quick work of Albus's belt and then trousers, forcefully parting the material so that he could wrap his fingers around the man's erection, squeezing hard for emphasis while Albus cursed him. "This is what matters." And damn, the man was hung.

He hadn't thought that through.

Voice significantly huskier thanks to Scorpius continued grip, Albus showed that he was indeed thinking a little straighter, though no less perverted. "So you want to measure them, then? I'm game."

In short order Albus had the blonde's trousers out of his way and Scorpius in hand so to speak, the Gryffindor taking it a couple steps further by deliberately moving his fisted hand up and down the other man's length since, as he pointed out, they couldn't measure accurately until they were both fully erect.

Refusing to back down even though alarms were going off in the back of his mind, Scorpius accepted the unspoken challenge, both men failing miserably to hide the fact that they fucking loved being jerked off by the other and were getting perilously close to orgasming as the minutes ticked by.

And continued to tick by as they forgot why they were doing this in the first place and instead turned their alcohol soaked minds to controlling their bodies just long enough that they weren't the first to come.

It was Scorpius who gave in first, letting go of Albus so that he could wrap his arms around the Gryffindor's neck as he hung on for dear life, his knees no longer up to holding his weight as he buried his face against the man's throat and shamelessly begged for more.

If he'd been sober Albus would have rubbed that fact in Scorpius's face, but as it was the blonde's reactions to what he was doing was driving him crazy enough that all he cared about was giving Scorpius exactly what the man wanted so that he could get what he wanted, which would require the Slytherin to be in too good a mood to deny him.

He wanted more than a hand job now that he'd gotten a glimpse of just how sexy the man could be and he wanted to see more.

Breathing in Albus's scent like it was a drug, why had he never noticed just how fucking good the man smelled, Scorpius's musing on the topic died under an avalanche of pleasure as his climax swept through him, catching him completely by surprise as he'd never imagined that it could be this good with Albus Potter of all people. Man had he misjudged him.

Meanwhile Albus waited until the other man had mostly recovered from his orgasm before he started herding Scorpius towards the bedroom and the bed he intended to shag the man's brains out on.

He hadn't come yet after all, and he'd much rather do that while inside the Slytherin's notoriously tight ass.

Oh baby.

)

His feet made no sound on the stone flooring as Yue headed towards him school term home. It was later then he would have liked but Mrs. Norris the Third and Mr. Norris had delaying him. Albus would probably already be fast asleep, Yue thought to himself, which suited him just fine since that meant that the bed would be nice and warm for him when he got there. He hated a cold bed almost as much as he hated baths, and that was saying something.

That his companion loved the latter was a quirk he chose to put up with since Albus had few flaws in general.

Arriving at his hallway Yue had almost reached his door when a smell caught his attention, his eyes narrowing as he padded over to stand in front of Malfoy's door. Yes, the scent was definitely coming from in there and there was only one conclusion his intelligent mind could come up with.

The potions teacher had gotten himself a pet over the summer.

It wasn't a pureblood like himself, probably a half or a quarter if his superior nose was correct.

He was tempted to scratch at the door, see if the other animal was still awake and interested in getting acquainted, but it was late, and if Albus was awake he would worry about him if he didn't get back to their room shortly. They had a whole school year to get to know each other, though if the creature was anything like his master Yue couldn't see himself wanting to make friends with it.

Tomorrow he'd see about introducing himself, Yue decided before heading across the hallway to his own door, walking through what looked like solid wood but was really just an illusion set up to look that way.

Heading for the bedroom Yue frowned when he saw the clothing scattered in that direction, sniffing his disapproval. He didn't like their living space to be messy and he and Albus were going to-that shirt wasn't Albus, it smelled like Malfoy. Malfoy and liquor.

Trepidation settling in his gut Yue ran the rest of the way to the bedroom, using the steps that led up to the large, four poster bed to get to his master who was passed out on his stomach as usual. And climbing up and onto that warm, bare back, Yue stared down at the other man who was lying beside Albus.

Uh oh….not good, not good at all.

Sparing Albus a brief glance Yue scowled and shook his head, unable to believe that the man had been dumb enough to get drunk and get naked with Malfoy, who would no doubt cough up a metaphorical hair ball tomorrow when he woke up and realized what would happen.

That being the case he better find the man's wand and hide it, just to be safe.

)

Waking up with his face already scrunched up in pain, Scorpius allowed himself one low whimper for his stupidity in letting himself be drawn into a drinking competition with Potter. Not that it had been official or anything, but it had felt like one and he'd been compelled, like an idiot, to try and keep up with the man throughout the evening. Even half drunk he'd known how stupid that was, the man was bigger and probably went out drinking crappy booze like that all the time. Probably had an immunity to the stuff and was no doubt in his bed now without a hangover just waiting to split his skull in two, the Slytherin mused bitterly. His own headache would increase by ten folds as soon as he opened his eyes, he just knew it, but he wasn't the type to lie around in bed or shy away from facing the consequences of his actions.

So he forced his eyes to open part way, staying that way until a sound that was a cross between a rumble and a purr had him turning his head with eyes open to take in the sight beside him.

Holy-Why the hell was Albus Potter in his bed?

Why was Albus Potter BUTT FUCKING NAKED in his BED?

And…this wasn't his bed.

Scooting backwards automatically, his only thought to get as far away from the other man as possible, Scorpius barely got out a yelp of shock right before he tumbled off of the bed, landing hard on his knees.

Cursing over that fact Scorpius rose to his feet, wanting to face the Gryffindor properly if his fall had woken the other man up.

And it was when he was standing straight and tall, feeling relieved when he noted that Potter was still asleep, that he became aware of the fact that his knees weren't the only part of his body that was throbbing. The knees were the big thing, his arse only a little tender, but it was the oddity of it that had him questioning why it should feel out of sorts in the first place.

That was when some very graphic and disturbing images began running through his mind, the last few requiring him to sit on the side of the bed as his legs gave out from under him.

Not only had he lost his bleeding mind and shagged Albus Potter…but he'd been on the bottom. He'd let the son of a bitch fuck his blooming ass.

It was official, he'd brought his family to a new low.

And here he hadn't thought that possible.


	2. Don't Mess With Kneazles

Disclaimer: As always I own nothing but the original characters and the situations all characters end up in. Everything else belongs to someone else and that's the way of it.

Don't Mess With Kneazles

Trying and failing to wrap his mind around how this could happen, how he could so completely lose his mind and fuck up this badly, Scorpius swiped his hand through his already messy hair as he tried to ignore the pounding in his head. Not an easy thing to do, but the shocks his system was taking numbed at least some of the pain as memories continued to float to the surface, showing him bits and pieces of what had happened the night before. It was a puzzle with a number of missing pieces, but he had enough to get the picture all too clearly.

Sensing eyes on him, and not Potter's, Scorpius turned his head and met a golden brown stare that promised untold pain if he tried anything the creature didn't approve of.

"And just where the fuck were you last night? You could have stopped us!"

The kneazle gave him a dirty look while remaining tense and at the ready, no doubt prepared to pounce and dig its fangs and claws into him if it thought he posed a threat to it or its owner. And that wasn't false bravado on the creature's part, Scorpius mentally acknowledged, they were damn aggressive and possessive things, hence the necessity of a license to own one.

Potter took this one with him everywhere so it was trained, but the Slytherin didn't doubt the animal still had all its claws. He couldn't recall its name, but he vaguely remembered that it was somehow related to the fact that the feline's fur resembled a night sky in that it was mostly pure black with small white splotches on its rump that sorta resembled a quarter moon and stars. The female students thought it utterly adorable, but the creature had never been anything but coolly dismissive towards him.

Studying the animal reminded him that he also had a pet back in his own room to deal with, unfortunately. His grandmother had decided he needed companionship and that giving him an animal to take care of and love was just the thing. His was a little over half kneazle according to its papers and not at all aggressive thus far. It had gotten its brains from its more magical side though, so at least it was intelligent enough to stay out of his way most of the time.

He still hadn't figured out how to get rid of it without his grandmother finding out and skinning him over it.

Pushing that thought aside, it wasn't like he didn't have more immediate problems, Scorpius turned his attention back to the son of a bitch who'd shagged his fucking ass the night before. Still fast asleep of course, and completely defenseless save for the feline guarding him. And while the idea of jinxing the jackass or pushing him off the bed sounded wonderful, if damn juvenile, Scorpius was aware enough to know that he wasn't up to fighting with the other man at the moment. He felt like crap and it was going to take him a while to reconcile himself to what they'd done and how he was ever going to be able to live with it, much less how he wanted to behave towards the other man.

But would he be sending the right message if he just left and dealt with Potter later?

His headache made the decision for him, the Slytherin getting up and getting dressed with the damn kneazle's eyes following him the whole bloody time, obviously not trusting him for a second.

Once he'd found all his clothes and war wearing them Scorpius left the man's rooms as quickly as his body would move, having no idea that the Gryffindor's pet had stolen and hidden his wand while he was sleeping.

)

Waking up by degrees, as was his way, Albus slowly stretched his limbs out while groaning low in his throat, loath to get up at all. If he could have made a living staying in bed all day, with his warm covers and sleep…oh what a happy, happy man he'd be. But he couldn't, unfortunately, and he really did need to get up and go to the loo. He'd drunk way too much liquid the night before and he had a bad taste in his mouth that he needed to…

Mental thought stalling as he remembered the night before, Albus slowly lifted his head up from his pillow as his new thoughts jolted his brain into a state of awareness that usually required a shower and a strong dose of caffeine to achieve.

Holy Hogwarts…had that been…had he really…surely he hadn't….oh fuck.

Knowing in his gut that what he was remembering wasn't the result of some weird ass dream brought on from bad liquor, Albus turned his head to look at the pillow beside his, seeing the indent where another head had rested during the night. Shit. And upon investigation the sheets on that side still carried some residual warmth, though it was faded enough that Albus figured the other man had been gone for at least an hour.

Not that that mattered in the grand scheme of things.

He'd gotten drunk and shagged Scorpius Malfoy…the world was officially coming to an end.

This was going to scar him for life, the memories of the night before becoming clearer the more the horror of it all woke him up. He remembered that he'd been responsible for making the majority of the moves too, which just made it that much worse since he couldn't even say he'd been the one who'd been seduced. Nope, he'd been the one to give Malfoy the hand job, just as it had been entirely his idea for them to head to the bedroom so that he could shag the Slytherin properly.

And oh but he had, Albus thought with a groan, able to remember quite clearly just how sweet an ass the Slytherin possessed. It had taken some serious preparation, like all Malfoys the blonde had been a tight ass, but oh once he'd gotten the man all relaxed and loose beneath him…

Groaning at the thought, particularly when a mental image of what Malfoy had looked like as he'd thrusted inside him, the way those grey eyes had stormed and the little gasps and moans of pleasure that had escaped those surprisingly delicious lips…going to haunt him forever, Albus decided with another sound of dismay. Forever and ever.

Shifting back onto his back Albus raised his hands towards the ceiling in a 'Why?' gesture that pleaded with the fates to clue him in as to why the hell they'd let him make such a monumental, life altering mistake.

One Malfoy was no doubt plotting to kill him over at the Slytherin's earliest convenience, Albus thought bitterly as he dropped his hands back to his sides, too busy bemoaning his fate to react to the familiar feeling of his kneazle stepping onto and over his legs on the way up to face him.

Looking back over to where Malfoy had been sleeping earlier Albus wasn't really all that surprised to see Yue walk in a circle before curling up there to take advantage of the warmth. Nor was he terrible surprised to see that his pet was wearing an extremely disapproving look on his black face.

"I know. I know. I really fucked up last night, didn't I?"

Yue nodded firmly, in complete agreement of that statement.

"Thanks for that. You're always so supportive." Forcing himself to sit up Albus scrubbed his hands over his face, wishing he could brush the memories from his mind just as easily. Memories he was pretty sure were etched onto his brain to the point where only a memory charm would be able to erase them. Well no, actually, he didn't want to lose the memories so much as change the man he'd made those memories with. The sex had been pretty damn good considering how impaired they'd been at the time.

It sort of made him wonder just how good they would have been if they hadn't been drunk.

Groaning at the thought Albus threw back his covers and got out of bed, knowing that if he didn't get his bum in gear he'd be back under them and hiding like a kid in seconds. He needed the loo and a hot shower, he told himself. He'd think better and straighter then and…and maybe the fates would take pity on him and give him some clue as to how he was going to fix things before he suffered major brain damage.

)

Stumbling out of his bedroom and all the way to the bathroom, Albus quickly did his business and then headed for the shower, deliberately turning the temp up even higher than normal. It was funny really, Albus thought bitterly, how he'd always thought that it was actually a good thing that he tended to remember everything he'd said or done while under the influence of alcohol. He always knew if he needed to apologize for something, could help fill in the blanks for others, and in general those memories tended to encourage him not to drink too much unless he had a really good reason to do so.

Now he was sorta wishing he was one of those people who blacked out everything that happened to them when they over indulged.

At least he'd topped, though that wasn't necessarily a good thing since he'd bet the contents of his bank vault that Scorpius had wanted to kill him this morning for that reason alone. Because while he of all people knew not to believe gossip blindly, he had always figured that it was safe to believe that Scorpius really was the type to always top and never bottom. It just fit the man's personality, and he could at least testify to the fact that the one lover he knew they in common had been a bottom. So yeah, if he'd taken the man's ass's virginity he could see his name becoming numero uno on the wizard's shit list.

Come to think of it…why hadn't Malfoy tried to take him out while he was sleeping?

Yue's presence? His kneazle wasn't someone you wanted to mess with after all. Or maybe Malfoy hadn't remembered what had happened last night and that's why he'd left without striking out at him? Maybe the blonde had blacked it all out and was even now planning to act like it hadn't even happened for the sake of both their sanities. That would be awfully handy…so he wasn't really counting on being that lucky.

It was far more likely that the Slytherin had wanted time to formulate a punishment great enough to fit the perceived crime and he'd be seeing the man's wand pointed in his direction in the near future without warning. That would be fun.

Wincing at the mental images his brain was now generating Albus stuck his head back under the running water and seriously considered just drowning himself and getting it over with.

This was not the way to start the day.

)

Towel wrapped securely around his waist Albus opened the bathroom door ten minutes later, surprised to find his kneazle waiting for him on the other side with something in its mouth. Not a mouse or rat either, Albus thought as he crouched down, recognizing the item in question straight away as he took it from his pet's mouth. "A wand?" Not his either, which begged the question of where Yue had gotten it. Perhaps someone had dropped it in the hallway last night and Yue had picked it up?

Or… "Did you find this in my bedroom?"

Yue shook his head.

Albus considered this, studying his kneazle's face intently. "Did you take this out of Malfoy's pocket while he and I were sleeping?"

Nod.

Okay, technically speaking he should at least scold his pet for stealing, but Albus could follow the creature's thought process and had to agree that it was probably for the best that Yue had taken steps to insure that if Malfoy had woken up in a murderous mood the Slytherin would have had to do it physically instead of just offing him while he slept.

So instead Albus gave his best friend a good scratching under his chin and rubbed the kneazle's fringed ears for good measure as he thanked the creature for always having his back, smiling automatically when Yue purred his enjoyment.

Now he just had to figure out how to get the wand back to Malfoy without them actually having to interact, Albus thought with a sigh, as he had no idea what he was supposed to say to the Slytherin. Or if he should even say something at all since Malfoy would no doubt want to pretend it had never happened whether the blonde actually remembered what had happened or not. Assuming the man didn't intend to perform memory charms on the both of them or just plain jinx his ass into the next century for fucking his.

It had been a really nice ass too.

And thoughts like that could get him killed, Albus scolded himself as he rose to his full height and headed for the bedroom to get dressed, dropping the Slytherin's wand on his dresser. Once dressed the Gryffindor picked it up again, rolling the wand around in his palm as he pondered what the hell he was supposed to do with it. Leaving it propped up against the man's door or in a bag would be the safest thing to do, but he preferred to face his problems head on and the sooner he faced the other man the sooner he would know where they stood and just how much the Slytherin wanted his head on a platter.

Sighing at the thought Albus walked out of the room and headed for the coat rack he kept near his front door, sliding on his long leather coat before slugging his largest satchel over it across his chest, leaving the flap open.

Calling for Yue Albus picked the kneazle up and dropped the feline into the satchel, this being their normal way of transporting his pet while inside the castle.

And he'd let him out to wander as soon as they were in the Forbidden Forest, Albus promised the kneazle as he opened their door and stepped out, locking it behind them. Yue could catch his own breakfast if he wanted shortly.

"Provided I'm up to going anywhere besides the medical wing after this." Albus muttered to Yue as they crossed the hallway, the Gryffindor taking a deep breath before forcing himself to knock on the potions teacher's door, pulling the man's wand out of his pocket with the other.

They didn't have to wait long, Albus and Yue both a little amused when the Slytherin opened the door just enough for him to see them and glare at them.

"I thought I should-." Albus didn't get to finish his sentence, the blonde snatching the wand out of his hand on sight.

And then Malfoy slammed the door shut in their faces.

"That actually went better than I thought it would."

Shaking his head Albus decided to let it go for the moment and started on his way, thinking that he should keep his eyes out for anything interesting in the forest that the Slytherin might want for his storage room.

He'd always been a big believer in bribery.

)

Marching back into his parlor with his wand Scorpius was torn between being grateful that he had it back and that Potter had been the one to come to him and not the other way around, and mortified that he hadn't handled the whole thing better. He should have let the man finish his sentence at least. Now he looked like some immature teenager who couldn't handle a morning after conversation. Potter had come right over, for Merlin's sake, which just made him that much worse, leaving the way he had.

But he'd had a headache, dammit.

Lips curling into something perilously close to a pout Scorpius crossed his arms and stayed like that until he felt something bump into his foot.

Looking down the Slytherin studied the ball and then turned his attention to scanning the rest of the floor until he spotted the creature who'd thought it perfectly all right to body check the cat toy in his direction. Couldn't have done it any other way, Scorpius thought darkly, given how small the bloody thing was. It was about half of Potter's kneazle if you discounted all his feline's fur.

Like a wad of cotton, he thought as he lightly kicked the ball in the direction of the pet his grandmother had insisted he just had to have. Apparently she'd thought he'd react better, or at least be more inclined to be nicer to a small animal, so she'd gotten him a kneazle mixed with some kind of cat called a skookum, which was one of the smallest cat breed there were according to her.

The fact that Potter's pet could totally own his pet in a cat fight displeased him almost as much as the idea of owning the thing in the first place.

What the hell was he supposed to do with it, anyway, Scorpius fumed, kicking the ball back towards the cat as soon as it head butted it in his direction again. It probably couldn't even take down rodents without injuring itself.

Huh, maybe he could say Potter's kneazle was picking on it and that was why he had to give it back to her. For the thing's own safety, Scorpius reasoned, as he continued to send the ball back to the feline with nudges of his foot.

No…his grandmother knew him too well to think he'd take his cat being picked on by Potter's. That would be a declaration of war in his books and they both knew it. That he didn't even like his pet was beside the point. Until someone else owned it the dumb creature was his.

Dammit.


	3. Messy Situation

Disclaimer: As always I own nothing but the original characters and the situations all characters end up in. Everything else belongs to someone else and that's the way of it.

Messy Situation

Heading back to his rooms at around three Scorpius was feeling a bit better about life in general. Not a lot better, but he'd gotten through his second encounter with Potter and had done so with a great deal more class and maturity than earlier, thank Merlin. And to top it all off the man had given him a bag of cuttings after lunch, some plants he'd just happened to collect along the way while the idiot had been out walking in the Forbidden Forest like it was a child's park. The plants were an obvious bribe and peace offering, which he hadn't expected but appreciated none of less.

He'd planned on pretending nothing had happened anyway, so the bribe was like icing on the cake as far as he was concerned. He was even willing to give the man points for knowing exactly how to suck up to him.

Images of the man sucking a particular portion of his anatomy immediately came to mind, ruining his slight lift in mood completely as the blow job oriented thoughts refused to leave no matter what he tried to replace them with. Dammit, he was never drinking ever again and…and there was no way the alcohol hadn't effected his brain because there was just no way Albus Potter was as good in bed as his slightly disjointed memories told him the Gryffindor was.

Unfortunately the pep talk didn't work and Scorpius was still scowling as he opened the door and strolled into the hallway, stopping short when he got a look at the chaos and mess that greeted him. A neat freak to the core of his being Scorpius literally felt like he'd taken a hard blow to the chest as he took in the scattered papers, broken glass, pillow stuffing and other items strewn all over his parlor floor. And there, nearly smack dab in the middle of the room, was his stupid pet, who looked up at him with ink spots and some kind of brown liquid staining its poofy white fur.

Seeing red Scorpius marched over, items crinkling and breaking further under his shoes as he stepped on them. Reaching down he grabbed the feline by the back of its neck and held it up to eye level, his gaze fierce while the creature's blue eyes looked decidedly miserable.

Knowing his temper, and unable to justify harming something so much smaller and weaker than him, Scorpius took several deep, calming breaths and then turned on his heels and headed back the way he'd come.

Praying that his neighbor was in Scorpius pounded a fist on Albus's door, continuing to take deep breaths as he waited impatiently while the current ban of his existence whimpered in his other hand pathetically. And then the door opened and Scorpius tossed the furball in the Gryffindor's direction, Albus catching it easily. "It's yours now. Enjoy."

)

Blinking in shocked surprise Albus just stared as the blonde stomped back across the hallway and slammed the door behind him for good measure. The whole thing having come completely out of left field, it was a while before Albus even look down at what had been thrown at him, utterly shocked all over again to see what he was holding. Who in their right mind had given Scorpius a mini puffball for a pet? Who would give him a pet period, Albus added as he took in the state the poor creature was in.

Note to self, NEVER leave any living creature in Malfoy's care.

And shaking his head over the whole thing Albus gave the still whimpering creature a reassuring smile. "Better get you cleaned up since I have no idea what that brown stuff is. We can talk once you've had a bath."

Heading back inside Albus went straight to the bathroom, filling the sink with some warm water. That done he gently placed the shivering feline into said water and wetting a wash cloth went to work on the stained fur.

Yue, meanwhile, had come to see what Albus was up to and had naturally picked up on the foreign scent that certainly didn't belong in his territory. Especially when he hadn't invited Malfoy's animal over for a visit, the kneazle thought as he followed his nose and went about confronting the intruder by easily leaping onto the closed toilet lid and then onto the counter, heading directly over to the sink.

Taking in the mess sitting in his sink Yue cocked his head to the side and came to the immediate conclusion that this creature would never, even on its best day, pose any kind of threat to him or his person. He would have said it looked like a drowned rat, but he wouldn't insult a fellow feline by making that comparison unless it was called for.

Staring at the large creature watching him Scorpius's pet stayed right where he was, afraid to move least these strangers get mad at him too. Especially the one who was sort of like him, though this creature was very handsome and deadly looking. And big, he silently added. So much bigger than him.

"My name is Yue. What's your name?"

"Four-C."

"That's what Malfoy calls you?" He knew the Slytherin wasn't particularly fond of other sentient beings, but giving someone that crappy a name was just wrong on a number of levels in his books. Even a stupid girlie name was better than a number.

The smaller feline shook his head. "My person didn't give me a name. He calls me 'Cat', 'Hey, You' or 'Puffball' sometimes, but I don't think he means any of those to be my true name. Four-C is what the person who takes care of my mum called me."

A breeder, Yue assumed, one who referred to the kittens he or she bred by a code for identification purposes. Names were important things after all, and should never be given lightly. That rule was especially true when you were dealing with magical creatures, though the kneazle blood was terribly diluted in this one.

"What happened to your fur?"

Tears started to swim in the feline's eyes. "It…it was another creature. One who flew through the walls and sometimes was there and sometimes was like smoke. He made a terrible, terrible mess in our home and I tried to stop him but I couldn't and…and he kept laughing at me and saying I'd be in trouble and I am. My person thinks I made the mess but I didn't and now…and now he doesn't want me anymore."

Eyes narrowing Yue hissed a little, having a pretty good idea what was responsible for the mess the little cat had found himself in. Peeves just loved to cause trouble and messes and blame it on the pets that lived in Hogwarts. He was excellent when it came to framing them and they all hated the poltergeist with a united passion. Malfoy had obviously not put blocks around his rooms to keep Peeves out, but then the Slytherin had never had a pet before. Peeves hadn't been so dumb as to mess with the Potions teacher when he would be the obvious suspect with no one else to blame.

"Are…are you mad at me too?" He didn't smell anger, but the big cat had hissed.

"No. I just don't like Peeves. That I can't maul him angers me greatly."

He was sorry the kneazle couldn't maul the poltergeist too and said so.

Inclined to be polite now that he knew the situation, Yue relaxed his body and settled down on the counter to talk, curious to find out more about this animal that actually seemed to like the notoriously unlikable potions teacher.

"Are you two making friends then?" Albus asked Yue a short while later as he finished up his cleaning job.

Looking up at his person Yue wasn't sure you would call it that but nodded anyway. He was the dominant after all and therefore it was, unfortunately, his responsibility to look after the little submissive in his sink for as long as was necessary. Especially if Malfoy had dumped the feline on them for good, which wouldn't be good, Yue thought with a small frown of worry. The creature had already decided that Malfoy was his person. That meant something to any animal with kneazle blood in them.

Glad that the two were getting to know each other, Yue wasn't the most friendly of animals after all, Albus gently lifted the cat out of the sink and retrieving another towel carefully dried the creature off. When that was done the poor little guy looked a little like the end of a Q-tip, but at least it was mostly white now.

That done Albus informed Yue that he was going to change into his Animagi form and requested that the kneazle explain what that meant to their guest so that the cat didn't freak out and fall off the counter in surprise.

Turning his attention back to the cat, whose amusing appearance made his mouth twitch, Yue informed him that his person was going to change into an animal so that he could communicate with them better. Albus's animagi form was a bird too, and if he even thought about trying to pounce on him he would take him down hard since Albus was too soft hearted to do so.

Not wanting to be pounced on the white cat assured Yue that he wouldn't dream of pouncing on the feline's person. Especially when he watched the man become a bird, one that was definitely not the kind he would ever attempt to mess with. This was a bird of prey and those razor sharp talons made the man as deadly a creature as its kneazle.

"I'm going to explain things to him now." Yue informed the cat who really needed a name pronto. "You're too young to be understandable, especially since you're more cat than kneazle. Pardon our rudeness."

"You're so polite sometimes." Albus teased his kneazle, shifting his wings a little as he got more comfortable. He'd have preferred to perch, but needed to be close to Yue to hold a proper conversation.

Sniffing disdainfully Yue ignored the comment and gave his person a quick summary of what had happened and the fact that the creature thrusted upon them didn't even have a name so he couldn't even introduce them properly.

"He didn't even name it? That's low, even for him."

"He's a snake." Yue pointed out dryly. "They tend to stay low to the ground."

Albus couldn't laugh in his present form, but his voice was amused. "So do you think we should give him back to Malfoy because it's what he wants or because you don't like the idea of sharing your territory with another animal?"

"He's chosen Malfoy as his person. Unless he decides otherwise or the Slytherin becomes physically abusive I believe it would be best. He seems to think the man's willingness to kick a ball at him is a sign that Malfoy's warming up to him."

"Oh."

"Yes. We'll have to monitor the situation closely if Malfoy is willing to take him back."

Too true, unfortunately. Crap.

)

For all their sakes Albus opted not to try and return Scorpius's pet to the Slytherin right away. Instead he had Yue assure the cat that he would do his best to make that happen and then had put aside his intended work for the rest of the afternoon to play with his kneazle and their guest. Kneazles were very possessive of their people so he'd had to be careful about paying Yue slightly more attention, but the two felines had obviously had a lot of fun and were tuckered out when he left them in his room to eat their supper while he went to the Great Hall to get his and have a little talk with Scorpius.

Deliberately waiting until after the meal, no reason to spoil his appetite, Albus sadly cut back on his usual dessert intake so that he could follow after Scorpius when the other man got up to leave. The man didn't have much of a sweet tooth, which just went to show that the blonde did not have his head on straight when it came to the best parts of life.

"Malfoy, wait up."

Bracing for the possibility that Potter was going to demand that he take the cat back, which so wasn't going to happen, Scorpius stopped but gave the other man a look that made it clear he was still in one hell of a bad mood. "What?"

"You need to put shields around your rooms."

"What?"

"That's how Peeves got in to wreck your place. He likes to turn rooms upside down and blame the occupant's pets for it. Most people don't stop and think about whether or not their animals are actually capable of causing the damage." It went unsaid that Scorpius's cat was a ball of fluffy and was hardly capable of knocking something heavy over, much less tearing a room apart.

Disliking where this was going, especially since he'd been at a loss as to how the cat could cause so much damage earlier when he'd been cleaning up, Scorpius's stance stiffened even more, though his tone was considering when he demanded to know how Albus could know what had or hadn't occurred in his rooms earlier.

"Your cat told Yue and he told me while I was in my other form."

Interpreting that to mean Albus had appeared as a peregrine falcon at the time Scorpius smirked. "A little dangerous, that. Becoming a bird around two felines."

"Yours barely counts as half a feline." Albus shot back as he crossed his arms in front of him in a show of aggression. "And Yue would never hurt me. I'm his person. And that poor cat thinks you're his person so you better shape up and take him back ASAP, Malfoy or else."

Reacting to the man's body language Scorpius shot out his chin defiantly. "Or else what?"

"Or else I really will keep him and tell everyone that you named him 'Puffball' and that I took him away from you to spare it further abuse."

Eyes widening with insult Scorpius scowled. "I didn't name him that and I've never hurt him. He doesn't have a name. I just call him that sometimes."

"Good, because his name is Snow now."

"What? You can't name my pet for me!"

"I can since you couldn't be bothered to, and you gave him to me which makes him mine currently." Albus flashed a smirk that would have done any Slytherin parent proud. "And he likes it so that's what his name is now. Deal with it."

)

Snow had decided that he really liked Yue and Albus. They were very nice and had played with him lots and lots. Plus Albus had even given him a name, and he'd been wanting one of his very own for a very long time. His name was Snow and Albus was going to talk to his person and then everything would be alright. Yue thought it might take a little time before his person was willing to take him back but that would be okay so long as he got to stay where he was.

"Yue?"

"Yes?"

"If I stay here tonight can I sleep with you? I miss having someone to sleep with." He missed his mum and siblings a lot sometimes, especially at night when he was all alone in his little basket.

"When there isn't someone else in his bed I sleep with Albus." Yue informed him. "You may join us if you like. He won't mind." He could already tell that Albus would quite happily keep Snow if Malfoy refused to take him back. Which would be a little annoying, the kneazle thought to himself, but the cat knew he was in charge and so long as Snow respected that fact he was willing to share his space and person.

It wasn't like Snow would take up that much room anyway.

"Someone else sleeps here sometimes? You have two persons?"

"No. Albus in the only one I claim as mine. I meant…nevermind."

Pouting a little, he didn't like being kept in the dark, Snow decided not to push since it really didn't matter. "If someone else sleeps with him than where do you sleep?"

Ironically enough… "I have a bed, but it's not here." Albus had never brought a male back to this residence to mate with before, so that had never been an issue. The night before he'd been forced to sleep on one of the couch cushions since he'd had absolutely zero interest in being around if the two men occupying his usual bed had woken up and decided to do something other than sleep or kill each other.

"If need be Albus will make us a bed to sleep in, though that won't likely be an issue given how things stand between your person and mine." He knew all the teachers that worked at the school and Malfoy was the only one Albus would ever mate with drunk or sober. Not likely sober, Yue amended, though stranger things had happened.

"Our persons don't like each other very much, do they?"

"Not usually, no."

"That's too bad."

Yes and no, Yue thought as he got up and stretched a little. They were a hazard to each other's health whether they were friendly or at odds. Not that they probably couldn't learn to get along with each other properly, but he couldn't see Malfoy willingly bending his behavior enough to make that happen. And while Albus was pretty easygoing most of the time…Malfoy did know how to push the other man's buttons with alarming accuracy.

Hearing the front door being opened both felines immediately turned their attention in that direction and took off to greet Albus.


	4. Pet Retrieval

Disclaimer: As always I own nothing but the original characters and the situations all characters end up in. Everything else belongs to someone else and that's the way of it.

Note: I got bored at work and thus Snow's song was born. It's to the tune of 'I Am Cow' by Arrogant Worms, a song and band probably unknown outside of Canada for the most part lol.

Pet Retrieval

Yawning widely Snow thought to himself that he would be quite happy to wake up every morning on a nice warm bed with Albus and Yue close by. He liked not sleeping alone. And maybe he could ask Yue to ask Malfoy to let him sleep with him instead of the bed he was supposed to sleep in. He'd much rather sleep with his person if given the choice. But even if the man wouldn't let him he was still happy, Snow decided with a content little purr, because he had a name now and soon Malfoy would come and get him because Albus had explained what had really happened before to him.

In fact, he was so happy that he felt like singing, Snow decided, humming lightly to himself before he began to sing in his own language.

_"I am Snow, hear me mew,_

_I am twice as cute as you,_

_And I'm super white and fluffy too,_

_Kneazle, kitty, pet and creature,_

_Malfoy is my person, People_

_I am Snow, I am Snow, hear me mew…"_

"You're really happy to have a name, aren't you?"

Turning to look in Yue's direction, the kneazle staring back at him with amusement, Snow would have blushed if it were something he was capable of. As it was he stared down at his paws as he mumbled that yes, he was very happy to have a name now.

Shaking his head Yue got to his feet and stretched out his body, feeling relaxed and ready for the day ahead. And seeing a bird fly past the nearby window the kneazle licked his lips and checked the time on the bedside clock. It was still plenty early…Albus wouldn't be awake for another two hours at least. Perfect.

Starting towards the end of the bed Yue paused to look over his shoulder when Snow asked where he was going. "Outside to get breakfast."

"Your breakfast is outside? Why?" They'd gotten their dinner inside and he'd seen Yue's bowls.

"I'm going to catch my breakfast. There's a feeder nearby and the birds will be coming by." Albus hated watching one animal eat another so he did try to hunt when the man wasn't awake or around to see him do it. Hence the fact that Albus tended to get busy doing something else in the Forbidden Forest when he was looking for a meal.

Eyes going wide, Snow was properly awed at the idea that Yue could catch his own food. He'd tried to catch a bird once…it had not ended well. "Can I come and watch?"

"You'll have to be still and quiet."

"I will, I will!"

Shaking his head Yue knew he'd regret it, but he agreed to let the furball come with him.

)

Naturally Scorpius hadn't taken the Gryffindor's word for it when it came to what had actually happened in his rooms the day before. Instead he hunted up the Bloody Baron after his discussion with Potter and he'd asked the Slytherin ghost to have a little talk with the poltergeist about it, trusting that the man would be more than capable of finding out the truth for him. Peeves was too scared of the Slytherin to lie for long and everyone knew it. And as it turned out Potter had indeed been telling the truth about what had happened, unfortunately, which meant that after he'd gotten up and dressed for the day he'd gone about putting up shields around his rooms so that the poltergeist wouldn't be able to pay him a visit ever again. What he was going to do when he went after Peeves was still up in the air for the moment, it not being an easy thing to punish him. But he would come up with something, oh yes he would.

And after some debate Scorpius magically altered his front door to mirror his neighbor's, making it so that the pet he was shortly going to have to retrieve could come and go through it whenever it wanted. Apparently creatures with kneazle blood didn't like being confined, and even if that weren't the case he wasn't adverse to the idea of the thing spending as little time in his company and rooms as possible.

Even if Potter was of the opinion that the damn thing really liked him for some reason.

He was only taking the stupid feline back because he'd realized how much it would upset his grandmother if he gave the creature to a Potter of all people, Scorpius grumbled to himself. Even the fact that it would be well loved by the animal obsessed Gryffindor wouldn't have quelled her ice cold fury once she found out. And she would find out, she had the power.

Studying his handiwork the Slytherin decided that it was good enough, unable to actually test the spell without Snow present to walk through the door. Snow. What a stupid name. Not the worst name the thing could have gotten stuck with, but seriously, how unoriginal. He couldn't have come up with something way better if he'd cared enough to do so. White cat equally snow, please.

Rolling his eyes Scorpius shook his head and turned to head towards the Great Hall to get some breakfast. He'd walk back with Potter after the meal and retrieve his stupid pet from the man then, though Merlin only knew what bad habits and stupid ideas the thing had gotten in its pea sized brain in the time it had spent around Albus. The other man could sorta talk to him after all, so Potter might have even brainwashed the cat into driving him slowly crazy somehow. He'd have to keep an eye out, just in case.

He was so lost in thought as to how the Gryffindor could get the feline to mess with him that he didn't see them at first. The fact that they were so close to the ground didn't help, though the way the smaller one was dancing around the bigger one should have drawn his attention sooner.

"Oh yay, they're friends now."

His voice had his pet stopping mid dance, the feline making a distressingly happy sound before running towards him as quickly as his little legs could carry him. Potter's kneazle just kept walking, all cool and composed as per usual. Why couldn't his pet be that mature and badass? It was fundamentally wrong that Potter got the Slytherin version of a feline while he was stuck with a Hufflepuff cat on a sugar high.

When his pet reached him and started weaving in between his legs while purring Scorpius leaned down and scooped the puffball up, not wanting to trip over the damn thing because it had all the sense of a lemming.

"So you're keeping him now?"

Scorpius was tempted to tell the Gryffindor to bite him, but the man had done that before and he didn't want to tempt Potter's Weasley genes. Better he just ignore the annoying prat.

Leaning down to let Yue hop up and into his arms, Albus shrugged off the silent treatment he was getting from the Slytherin and instead turned his attention to his pet, asking the feline if he'd be correct in assuming that he'd been out catching his own breakfast and therefore didn't need to be fed. When Yue nodded his confirmation Albus did his best not to wonder what his kneazle had eaten and instead started heading in the direction of the Great Hall.

"Aren't you worried he'll eat someone's pet, letting him hunt when he likes?"

"He hasn't done it yet." Albus pointed out when the Slytherin fell into step beside him. "And he's too smart not to be able to tell a pet from a wild animal." Pause. "And I don't think you have to worry about Snow eating a pet if you let him wander either. It's the stairs you're really going to have to hope he's careful about."

"It would be a little funny to see him try to navigate them." Scorpius said aloud, though more to himself than to Albus.

Looking heavenward Albus silently asked the fates why they made Slytherin humor so twisted before asking the blonde just how old Snow actually was. He'd forgotten to ask before and he was curious as to how much bigger the ball of fluff was going to get.

"He's five months old…and part Skookum."

Given Malfoy's tone of voice he was going to guess that particular breed of feline was small to begin with, Albus decided, making a mental note to look it up when he had the chance to appease his curiosity and learn more about it. "Well odds are he'll get bigger, most house cats are well over a year old before they finish growing."

"Well he's more kneazle than cat, when do they stop growing?"

Albus and Yue gaped at Scorpius like he'd just told them that he'd always wished the Sorting Hat had put him in Hufflepuff.

Annoyed, their mouths were literally hanging open, Scorpius glared at them as he demanded an explanation for their reaction.

"Sorry, I just…are you sure about that? There are some disreputable breeders out there." Albus didn't continue, not wanting to hurt Snow's feelings by drawing attention to how small and un-kneazle like the feline was.

Snow was a sweet natured powderpuff.

Considering the possibility that maybe he could maybe get rid of his pet if he told his grandmother she'd been sold an inferior product, that would really piss her off, Scorpius mulled over the possibilities before naming the breeder listed on the papers he'd been given.

"Oh. Huh. No, you can trust him." Studying Snow more closely, aware Yue was doing the same, Albus could not see the kneazle in him but hoped for the feline's sake that that side of his nature took over soon. Scorpius would get along better with it then. Kneazles, even when they were young, tended to be very aggressive, un-affectionate towards most, and prone to demanding a certain level of respect and attention from their people and getting violent if that didn't happen.

Feeling like he needed to set an example for his kind Yue wiggled out of Albus's hold and took a seat on the Gryffindor's shoulder instead, perching there with the sort of posture and expression that said he was the ruler of all he surveyed and that anyone who thought differently was in for a world of hurt ASAP.

Watching the kneazle out of the corner of his eye Scorpius had to admit that the feline did look pretty sick, even more so compared with the ball of fluff he'd only just now realized he still carried. He hadn't even realized that he and Potter had been walking side by side and holding a normal conversation until now, which was just wrong on a number of levels.

Thinking much along the same lines Albus kept his face very blank as he pointed out that they could leave their pets to wander the school while they had breakfast since both had apparently eaten anyway and Yue was more than capable of looking after Snow.

"Why did you name him that, anyway?" Calling his hyperactive terror Snow made sense because of the thing's coloring, but he'd never even heard of the name Yue before.

"Oh, because the marking on his lower half look like a moon and stars. Yue is Chinese for moon. I wanted to name him after his coat, but Moon didn't strike me as a good name, and Luna would have only worked if he was a she. Lune was a no go either and to make a long story short Hugo knew how to say moon in a lot of languages and I settled on Yue."

"I see."

"Out of somewhat morbid curiosity, are you being polite to me so that I'll take your cat off your hands whenever it suits you?" Albus just grinned when the Slytherin glared at him. "I'm just asking. Because you can be your usual asshole self if you want, I'll still let him visit Yue and I. It's not like my bed isn't big enough for the both of them and me."

The fact that he had firsthand knowledge of the other man's bed just made Scorpius's scowl deepen as he informed Albus that he was perfectly capable of being polite, even when he was dealing with brain dead, useless Gryffindor prats.

Albus smirked, not the least offended. "Well since we're being so chummy at the moment, there's something I've always wanted to ask you. Does that broomstick you carry up your pert little ass all the time hurt, or does it give you a rush, Malfoy?"

Yue snickered on Albus's shoulder while the Slytherin turned all different shades of red.

"How dare-you have no business-was that a dig about what happened?" Scorpius finally got out, his eyes narrowing even as Snow let out a little yelp in response to being held a little tighter than he would have liked.

"Hey, careful!" Reacting to Snow's cry for help Albus reached out and tugged the little guy out of Scorpius's hold and then placed the feline in one of his robe pockets for safety.

"Give him back!"

"When you've calmed down." Was Albus's stubborn, 'not going to change my mind on this one' response. "And what did you mean by a dig? This isn't the first time I've told you you're a tight ass-ah." Light dawning Albus grinned evilly. "You thought I was rubbing it in your face, the whole me topping you thing."

A hiss of indignation was Scorpius's reply.

Shaking his head Albus would have rolled his eyes if it weren't for the years he'd spent with the Malfoy heir when they were students together. At times like this it would be extremely dangerous to his health to look away from the angry blonde for even a second. "Look, if you're worried that I'm going to tell someone that I took your ass virginity, don't. That's not something worth bragging about. It's more like nauseating." Actually it wasn't, but he wished it was so that he didn't have to fight the urge to check out Malfoy's ass every time he saw the man.

Opening his mouth to inform the bastard that he most certainly had not stolen his ass virginity Scorpius had to close it again because not only was Potter right, but contradicting him would mean he'd have to portray himself as the sort who wasn't man enough to always top.

Dammit, stuck between a rock and a hard fucking place.

As hard as Potters oh so sexy rock hard abs, Scorpius's treacherous subconscious purred out.

Hating that voice, and the fact that it too was right, Scorpius did what came natural to him and lashed out at the assehole causing him problems, informing the prat that he could damn well quit smirking like that since he had absolutely nothing to be smug about. Absolutely terribly in bed, Scorpius informed him, the worst he'd ever tangled in the sheets with. And on top of that they would never have gotten naked together if he hadn't been drunk at the time, that's how bad he was.

"I'll give you the last part, but not the first. I happen to be friends with someone who slept with Edward Davenport, and I got an earful about how crappy he is in bed. And you slept with him when we were in school together so yeah, I'm not the worst you've ever had. If you even remember us sleeping together in the first place."

Okay, yeah, Davenport had been a pretty crappy lay, which was why he'd only slept with the whiney little gobshite the one time before dumping his ass. Damn. And as for that other thing… "You do remember that night, right?" If only he remembered he was going to take his memories, put them in a Pensieve, and then force Potter to watch the whole thing so that the Gryffindor was just as traumatized by what they'd done as he was.

Scorpius watched Albus's face closely for his reaction, wanting to make sure the man wasn't lying when it was so obvious that he was weighing how to answer that.

"I remember most of it."

"Most of it?"

"Well hell, I was drunk you know. But yeah, I do remember enough to know that you definitely weren't my worst lay ever, if that makes you feel any better."

It actually sort of did, not that he needed reassurance about how hot he was in bed. He knew he was spectacular, thank you very much. But it had been his first time being on the bottom and it was good to know that he was just as awesome in that position as he was on top. "So who was your worst?"

"A gentleman doesn't tell."

Scorpius snorted. "I've got five galleons that says it was Druitt."

"Druitt? What the…who the hell told you I was dumb enough to sleep with that guy? I'd have slept with you sober first!"

Completely taken aback Scorpius asked him if he was serious.

"Of course I'm serious. Have you spent more than five minutes in that guy's company? His hamster is so totally dead."

Now he was just confused. "His hamster…what's his pet got to do with anything?"

"I didn't mean that he has an actual pet- it's an expression. Like saying someone's a few bricks short of a wall, or so dumb he tried to have a staring contest with a Basilisk. His wheel might still be turning but his hamster's dead. Get it?"

Scorpius nodded, indeed getting it and filing the insults away for future use. He could think of a number of students he could apply the insults to.

And thinking along the same lines Albus shook his head and mentally apologized to those poor students. Not that having Scorpius as a teacher wasn't reason enough to pity them in the first place. Poor, poor them.

"You owe me five galleons."

"Oh bollocks."


	5. Somewhat Heated Discussion

Disclaimer: As always I own nothing but the original characters and the situations all characters get in.

Somewhat Heated Discussion

Heading into the greenhouse Albus smiled as always by the sights and smells of the place, remembering his time as a student among the treacherous plants as he tried to fake interest in the subject. He'd always done fairly well in the class, his father's friend seeing to that, but plants or staying still had never been his thing. He preferred to be outdoors whenever possible, the greenhouse inherently wrong to him because the flora suggested he was outside when he really wasn't.

Yue didn't care for the place either, the feline reminding him of that fact by hissing at a leafy vine that had been creeping closer to its head.

"Okay, okay, let's find Neville, then, shall we?"

Wandering deeper into the greenhouse Albus and Yue found the other man happily surrounded by his plants and dirt, some replanting going on from the looks of things. "Hey there."

"Ah, Al, hello." Looking up from what he was doing Neville smiled at them. "And Yue as well, I see. What brings you two by?"

"Yue found this and brought it to me. I think it's yours." Pulling the watch chain out of his robe pocket Albus handed it over, delighted at the grateful smile that crossed his friend's face. He wasn't surprised to hear that the man hadn't even realized it was missing, Neville had been losing things for as long as his family had known him.

Putting the chain into his own pocket Neville came over to give the kneazle a good ear rub to show his thanks, smiling when the creature draped itself over Albus's shoulder so that it could concentrate on enjoying the attention.

Amused by the purring Neville smiled and then turned his attention to his friend's son. "So I saw you chatting with Malfoy the other day. I was surprised."

"Yeah, he has a pet now too, a mostly kneazle named Snow. He and Yue are friends."

Personally he saw himself as the unfortunate feline thrust into the role of babysitter, but Yue couldn't exactly argue his exact role in Snow's life at the moment.

"Well I suppose spending time with you could only do him some good." Neville rolled his eyes, recalling well the joys of teaching the Malfoy's latest heir. Ironically enough the Slytherin had been one of his best students academic wise, one needed plants to create potions after all, but personality wise he'd often caught himself wishing that the Devil's Snare would get ahold of the smart mouthed prat and teach him some respect.

Chuckling, he remembered how the two had gotten along back when he and Malfoy were students, Albus gave Neville a pat on the shoulder. "I doubt this is the start of a beautiful friendship between him and I so don't get your hopes up there. Not even I have the skills to loosen him up permanently." Temporarily, maybe, Albus thought wickedly, his mind enjoying the double entrée.

"Yeah, that stick up his arse is probably permanent."

He would have agreed, Albus acknowledged with a secretive smile, but he'd been up the Slytherin's beautifully tight ass and could attest to the fact that he'd been the only thing making the man yell and beg for more.

"I didn't realize you Gryffindors found my ass so interesting."

Not bothering to look in the direction of the eyes boring into his back, it would annoy the blonde more if he didn't, Albus just grinned at Neville as he responded to the barbed comment. "Well you do have a prime one, Malfoy."

Making a choking sound Neville went from embarrassment to utterly horrified beyond words in a split second, stammering out a statement that Albus was to never say such a thing in his presence again. He knew that both men were gay after all, and the mental images were nightmare inducing. Maybe even worse than his usual nightmares, which was saying something!

Aware of the Slytherin on an instinctual level Albus moved out of the man's way when he came striding over, all but shoving a piece of parchment in Neville's still horrified face.

"I need all that by tomorrow. Are you able to supply me or do I need to procured them elsewhere?"

Taking the paper from him Neville quickly read over the contents, glad for something to take his mind off the images that had been scarring his brain moments before. Plus Albus and Scorpius were staring into each other's eyes now in a way that was really creeping him the hell out, Yue giving him a pitying look which just made it that much worse. Not that anything would ever happen between them of course, Neville assured himself quite frantically, that would never, ever, happen. Albus had much better taste than that and Malfoy was a Malfoy. There was just no way.

"Well? Do you have what I need?"

"Don't take that tone with him, Malfoy." Albus ordered, subtly shifting so that he was half shielding the older man with his body as he started glaring too.

"Or you'll what, Potter? Sic your shoulder warmer there on me?" Scorpius returned, motioning towards Yue with a jerk of his chin.

Yue's insulted hiss overlapped Albus's response, which was to point out that the man's own pet could barely keep someone's hand warm, much less a shoulder blade. And while he might trust Yue to cover his back in a serious fight he certainly didn't need his kneazle to help him face off against a Malfoy.

"Insulting my family is not wise."

"Insulting Yue isn't either."

Shoving the parchment paper in Scorpius's face, turnabout was only fair, Neville announced that he could supply the Slytherin with everything that he needed and would personally deliver them to the potions storage room before the end of the day. If that was all he really needed to get back to his conversation with Albus thank you very much, the dismissal clear.

Tossing the paper onto the nearby table Scorpius sneered. "I'll leave that with you. Your memory was less than stellar when you were a student here, now that old age has set in…I'd rather you not forget something."

Thanking the powers that be that the Slytherin was no longer his student, thus requiring him to be civil, Neville turned his head to look at Albus. "Why did Harry have to save his father from The Room of Requirement again?"

"Everyone makes mistakes?"

"And that is precisely what you both are." Was Scorpius's final word on the matter before turning around and heading back the way he'd come, his face getting darker as he heard the two men rating his exit line behind him.

Gryffindors. Oh how he hated them.

)

At the request of the Head Master all the teachers remained in the Great Hall after the final meal of the day was over, bringing them up to date on some issues he thought they needed to be aware of before wishing them all a good night. On the positive side the whole 'meeting' had only taken fifteen minutes, but on the negative side it meant that all the teachers left the room at the same time and insured that Albus and Scorpius had to walk back to their rooms together or look like a baby in the eyes of the other.

Since he was stuck walking with the man anyway, and they were almost home so to speak, Albus figured it was as good a time as any to reinforce what he'd said earlier. "You know, it wouldn't kill you to be a little more respectful of Neville. He has enough to deal with without you making your relationship worse."

"Relationship." Scorpius repeated, the idea of having any kind of relationship with the Herbology teacher making him faintly nauseated.

"You know what I mean. You need what he grows in the greenhouses for your potions classes. And yes he is obligated to supply you with everything he can to cut back on school costs, but he always comes through for you when he can and a little thanks once in a while wouldn't kill you."

Rather than answer Scorpius just gave Albus a look that was meant to remind the other man that it wasn't in his nature to be nice to people and that by being civil to the older man he was in fact treating the other professor better than he did a great many of the people who would soon be living in the school once again.

Making an exasperated sound Albus shook his head. "If I didn't have intimate knowledge of it I'd think you really did have a huge broomstick up your ass."

A hiss that would have done Yue proud crossed Scorpius lips. "The next time I hear you bring my ass into a conversation I'm going to personally see to it that you can't sit on yours for a very long time."

"Being mean to someone I consider family is not a good way to try and get into my trousers, Malfoy." Albus drawled out with a smirk. "Not that you'd have access to my ass even if we did get naked again."

"You only topped me before because I was drunk!"

"Ah, ah, nice try but no. My memories of that night might be a little hazy on some points, but I remember quite clearly how vocal you were about how much you LOVED having me shag your ass. In fact, I distinctly remember you nearly busting my eardrums with your demands that I take you as hard and deep as I possibly could. But if your memory's a little rusty there I'd be happy to get you a Pensieve and show you."

Cheeks flaming with color Scorpius sputtered as he repeated the fact that he'd been drunk and nothing he'd said or done while under the influence counted.

Finding the blush spreading over those knife edge cheekbones ridiculously sexy for some reason Albus moved to stand in front of the other man, reaching out to grab Scorpius's chin so that he could force him to meet his eyes. "You know what I think? I think you actually want to be topped but are too much of a Malfoy to admit it. That's why you have an even worse dating record than my cousin Fred."

"No one has a worse dating record than your cousin!"

"He's managed to stay friends with at least some of them, which is probably more than you can say."

"If I liked them well enough to be friends I wouldn't dump in the first place, you stupid prat."

When Albus just smirked at him Scorpius belatedly realized that he hadn't objected to the Gryffindor's first statement, which had actually been more insult than the comparison to Fred Weasley. "Quit smirking at me like that. And I don't want to be topped, are you mental? If you really did remember that night you'd remember I fought to top too!" Of course he'd lost, but he had tried, dammit.

"So you're saying that I'm special, Malfoy?"

"If your 'special' refers to someone with mental or behavioral problems then yes, Potter, you're VERY special."

Laughing in delight Albus had to admit that he was rather enjoying this. He'd never understood why James got such a kick out of riling the Slytherin up whenever the opportunity presented itself but he sort of got it now. Scorpius Malfoy was actually pretty funny and adorable when he was wound up enough to lose his head. Not that James would ever think that about Malfoy, his brother and the other man got along about as well as two wet, starving cats tied up together in a bag, but still…

Jabbing the man in the chest with his finger Scorpius demanded that the man stop laughing or else.

"Or else what?" Albus managed to get out, just chuckling and grinning like an idiot now. "You lost your last fight with me, remember?"

"For the last time you only won because I was more pissed than you!"

His quirky, Weasley sense of humor still in play, Albus moved closer and tipped his head slightly to the side, deliberately stopping just a breath away from the other man's lips. "You know, Malfoy, I'm getting a little tired of you insisting that I won because you were pissed that night. Especially when we both know you're jonesing for another go."

Putting his hands between them Scorpius tried to shove the Gryffindor away, surprised and a little turned on by the fact that the other man wasn't moving. Potter was even stronger than he looked, and dammit, retreating was out of the question.

"Get out of my face, Potter."

"I'd say make me, but you've just made it clear you aren't up to that."

The sound Scorpius made was perilously close to a growl, mortifying him.

Instead of backing down Albus closes the minuscule gap between them and sealed their lips together to stifle any more sound effects. For good measure he lifted one hand to cup the back of Scorpius's head to keep him where he wanted him, wrapping his free arm around the other man's waist for good measure.

Shock at the unexpected maneuver, they didn't have alcohol to blame this time around, Scorpius's ability to think rationally was short circuited by the extremely thorough tasting Albus's tongue was making of his mouth, the man's skill undeniable…though he would deny it until his dying breath in reality later. And while there was some small portion of his brain that said he really did need to stop this, especially since he was letting the Gryffindor control the snogging completely, it wasn't until he felt a hand rubbing one of his ass cheeks quite suggestively that enough common sense kicked in for him to bite down hard on the tongue that had been teasing his own.

Pulling his head back, the taste of his own blood in his mouth, Albus stared into the stormy grey eyes shooting lightning bolts in his direction and couldn't help but smile a little just to push the Slytherin that much further.

"You know, Malfoy…you taste a hell of a lot better without alcohol on your breath."

Letting go of the now sputtering Slytherin Albus didn't quite know what to make of the fact that he really wanted to snog the man more. Wanted to do a lot more to and with him, actually. Those weren't good wants to have, especially when the blonde had just made his willingness to draw blood very clear.

"If you ever try to do something like that again I'll….I'll…"

"Let me know what you think of something."

Walking towards his door without another word Albus had just enough time to open it before he felt hands touch his back, pushing him across the threshold and into the hallway. Stumbling forward Albus had just enough time to regain his momentum and spin around before the door slammed shut behind Scorpius.

Huh. Things just got even more interesting.

)

Shaking his head in disgust Yue stood in his hallway with his tail swinging back and forth in disapproval as he listened to the sounds of raised voices coming from the parlor. He supposed he could sleep in the parlor again once the argument no doubt moved from that room to the bedroom, because that was definitely where this argument was going in the very near future, but in the back of Yue's mind was the knowledge that Snow would be all alone if Malfoy slept over again and that needed to be dealt with first. Snow had mentioned that he'd been a little scared the night Malfoy hadn't come back to their room, Hogwarts still a strange place that intimidated the furball unless someone was with him. At the very least he should probably go over and reassure him that nothing bad had happened to the Slytherin and that the assehole who would probably be rolling around naked with his person very shortly wasn't staying away because he was mad or anything.

Heaving a sigh Yue knew he had to be the only responsible one since their people certainly weren't, the kneazle abandoning his intent to wait the fight out as he headed back towards the front door instead, passing through it easily.

Crossing the hall he considered knocking on the solid part before entering, which would be the polite thing to do. But Snow was pretty young and possibly asleep already, Yue weighed in, and if he didn't have to wake the feline up and have to deal with him….

The question was solved when Snow's head appeared through his own magical cat door, his little white head looking more than a little weird since it gave the feline the appearance of being one of those poor dead creatures who got their equally dead heads mounted on walls like trophies. "Hi, Yue!"

Lips twitching, he would not laugh, Yue nodded. "Snow."

"Did you come over to see me?" Snow asked, utterly delighted by the idea.

"Yes. I thought you should know your person might not be coming home tonight. He and my person are…otherwise engaged."

"Oh. I thought they didn't like each other very much."

Apparently they made exceptions when it came to drunk or angry making out slash sex, Yue thought to himself while he gave the excuse that the two could get along occasionally and tonight seemed to be one of those nights.

Snow didn't really understand but humans were really weird sometimes so he shrugged that off. He was glad Yue had come over to tell him that his person wasn't coming home tonight, he'd been waiting and waiting by the door for him after all. He didn't like the idea that he was going to have to be all alone though, he hated being by himself.

With that in mind Snow asked if Yue wanted to come in and see his rooms. His person wasn't around to object after all, and maybe they could play for a while until he got too sleepy to care that he'd be all by himself later.

Unable to say no when he was on the receiving end of Snow's pleading big eyes, which reminded the kneazle of Hugo Weasley in their power, Yue agreed to stay for a while.

It was better than listening to their people mate after all.


End file.
