Harry Potter 1. How it all began

**For The Love Of Merlin! Chapter 1**

***revised version***

_Nobody dies a virgin. _

_Life fucks us all._

_**- Kurt Cobain **_

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><p><em>July 16<em>_th__ 1998_

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><p><em>Great, just fucking great<em>, thought Ginny as she stepped out of the shower and wrapped a towel around her body; Mother Nature had made an early appearance this month, making it impossible for her to go swimming today. Hermione, Luna, and her, had made plans to go swimming that day to a pond they found near The Burrow. It was a fairly large and beautiful crystalline pond; it was located on the middle of the cornfield that was on the right of the Burrow. Most of the ponds or swamps found on that field were muddy and mostly not apt for swimming, so it had been quite a pleasant surprise to find the beautiful pond right in the middle of the cornfield in the beginning of summer. Since then, they had spend many days and sometimes nights swimming in its crystalline waters, enjoying the cool feeling it gave their skins after being burned by the hot summer sun all day.

Resigning to her oh so horrific fate of a week with no swimming, Ginny started to dress for the day. A pair of denim shorts and a loose airy shirt would be good enough; she would have to ask Hermione to put a cooling charm on her, otherwise she would be sweating like a pig for the rest of the day. Ginny still had the trace on her. But not for long, her birthday would be in a month, and she would finally have the trace off of her. Ah, finally free to use magic as she wished! But for now all she could do was wait, so she did.

She walked down to the kitchen, her high ponytail bouncing with every step she took; today was going to be a good day, despite the fact that one of her organs was peeling off its lining just because she was not having a child. _Hey, you're not pregnant this month? Great! I'll reward you with unbearable cramps and make you bleed for a week!_ It was hard to understand the logic behind the human body sometimes.

"Good morning mother! Are the guys awake already or do I need to go call them?" asked Ginny as she took her seat on the table, she grabbed some bacon, eggs and various breakfast items, making a little mountain of greasy but delicious food on her plate. "Mum? Hello?"

"Oh sorry, darling! I have my head in the clouds, with Harry bringing Cho over for the first time for breakfast, and Ronald about to leave for Auror training! There are so many things on my head," said eagerly Molly Weasley as she walked around the kitchen getting various tasks done, one of them was charming a few knifes to cut up fruit in cubes, which stirred up Ginny's curiosity.

"What's up with the rabbit food?" asked Ginny after she swallowed the mouth full of food, "please don't tell me you are falling to the mainstream pressure of using diets and eating like a small animal, please tell me that you're not making me do it as well."

Her mother turned, looking disoriented for a moment, before looking at the food her daughter was pointing at with the end of her fork, which was still half-loaded with bits of bacon and eggs.

"That's for Cho, dear. Harry tells me that she only eats fruits and vegetables, nothing that comes from animals." Said her mother then turned back to what she had been doing before, which was cutting up various vegetables to jump inside the pot where she was slow cooking a huge chunk of meat for the pot roast sandwiches for lunch. "It wouldn't do you bad to eat a few vegetables and fruits as well Ginny; you won't always have the fast metabolism you have right now!"

"Good Merlin mother, one cannot simply live their life only eating that! To each their own though, if she wants to eat only that then good for her. More bacon for the sane people." Said Ginny before she ate another mouthful of food then washed it down with a big gulp of pumpkin juice, "that does explain why she is so skinny though, no one who eats correctly could be that tiny."

"It's necessary to perform well on the Quidditch pitch." Said a voice behind her, "but I'm sure you knew that already. With you being a Chaser and all, you must be a little bulkier and all, to make sure no one knocks you off your broom. However, to be a Seeker you need to be as small as you can, it makes you faster."

_Did this bitch just call me fat?_

"Well Cho, a lot of seekers are big guys too. Just look at Harry, six feet one inch and he is one of the best seekers." Said Ginny as she turned to look at the girl standing on the doorway. Harry was standing right next to Cho, holding her hand and looking sheepishly as he gave Mrs. Weasley a smile, "Just like Victor Krum, and Diggory. How is he doing anyway? Such a sweet boy, I wonder what he has been up to lately."

"I haven't talked to him in quite some time," said Cho, her face turning bright pink at the mention of her handsome ex boyfriend, "I don't have anything to talk to him about."

"Really?" asked Ginny as she raised her eyebrows and took another bite of her bacon, "I heard otherwise.."

"GINEVRA!"

"That's my cue to leave," said Ginny as she picked up her now empty plate and placed it on the sink, "it was nice to see you Harry, I hope we can catch up later today, and Cho, always a pleasure to see you. I'm going down to the pond mum, if you see Hermione or Luna tell them I'm there."

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><p>The day dragged by painfully slow. There was no other way to put it. The Weasleys all <em>adored<em> Cho and showered her with compliments and attention. It was sickening to watch, it was worse than when Fleur had married Bill; because her family actually _liked _Cho. Just when Ginny thought it would not get worse, it did. Harry decided to propose. Propose! He got on one knee by the orchard and gave her an elaborate ring, big diamond on top and all. It wasn't that she hated Cho, it was just the fact that she wished she was her. Not physically or anything like that, oh heaven forbid she looked so tiny and colorless… no, she wished she could be on her spot. She wished that Harry loved _her_, that he had bought something special that was handcrafted specially for her. She didn't want no big diamonds or anything so elaborated, no, it could be a common pebble clued to a piece of wire and she would still love it all the same. After she wiped her tears and pretended that they were tears of happiness, she congratulated the newly engaged couple and wishing them the best in life. Smiled and laughed at the right times as Cho and Harry told the tale of how they had found each other, she kept her eyes away from Harry even though she felt his eyes on her. After a good hour of self-torture, in the form of listening to Cho's stories of how adorable their dates were, Ginny decided to go upstairs and get some rest.

Ginny walked in her room, closing the door behind her and sat on her bed. She covered her eyes with her hands and let the tears flow freely, her sobs were silent, but she still felt them shake her body against her will. The knot on her throat was suffocating, it made her face and eyes burn. Her lungs asked for air, but every time she tried to breathe she felt as if a loud sob would escape, so she pressed her face against her pillow in attempt to muffle the sounds of her anguish. It was silly to cry like this over something so silly, she couldn't be upset over this, she simply couldn't. But no matter how many times she told herself that it was okay, she couldn't get her cries to stop. She didn't even hear the sound of the door opening, or feel the way the bed sunk when someone sat next to her. So when she felt a hand on her shoulder she jumped, startled by the presence of another person in the room. The last person she wanted to see now, yet the only one she could tolerate around her at the moment.

"Are you okay?" asked Harry, his voice gentle as he rubbed small circles on her back, "please talk to me Ginny, what's wrong."

"n-no-nothing is wrong, just go back downstairs, it's not important," she stuttered as she tried to wipe the tears off her face, she did not want him to see her like this, it was the last thing she wanted. To make the poor boy feel guilty like he always did, he always found a way to blame himself for everyone's problems.

"Ginny, I'm not an idiot. I know something is wrong; I just want you to talk to me about it. Please?" said Harry as he pushed her hair behind her ear, "just tell me what's wrong, I will find a way to help you, I promise."

All Ginny did was shake her head and sit up straight, she turned and looked at him for the first time since she heard the news of his engagement. He looked worried, his usually bright eyes were clouded with worry and confusion, his eyebrows were furrowed in the same way they were when he was concentrating on something.

"You're not happy about me and Cho, right?" he asked slowly, as if she was going to burst into tears as soon as he mentioned his new fiancée.

"Ding, ding, ding! We got a winner." Said Ginny sarcastically as she rolled her eyes, "you know Harry, you can marry her, I seriously don't give two fucks if you do. But don't expect me to be happy about it. I won't be nasty or rude to her, but I seriously don't want to see her around. I really don't. You can marry her, have a dozen of kids, and build your own little Quidditch team, go for it. Just don't expect me to treat her like she is my best friend or like she is the most amazing person who ever stepped through those doors. I don't like her and I probably never will. But if she makes you happy then I don't have the right to complain. You deserve to be happy."

"Ginny, I really care about you, I hope you know that." He grabbed her hand and entwined his fingers with hers, "You are my first love and I will always be eternally grateful for the way you and your family have treated me. You and I, well it worked out for a while but after it was just not the same thing anym-"

"Harry do me a favor and shut up, please?" snapped Ginny, "The only reason why it stopped working for us was because all Cho had to do was bat her little eyes and she had you drooling all over the place. Quit saying that it was not the same because "time passed by," because we both know it's absolute bullshit. You left me for her not even a week after we had sex, so we both know why you were dating me at all on the first place! I gave you _everything_ I had, what good did I get for that? Absolutely nothing. Unless you count a broken heart as a good thing. So please quit telling yourself that you cared about me, because you didn't. Don't try to bullshit me into believing that you care, because you don't. Now, if you could please get out of my room, I would greatly appreciate it."

He simply nodded, got up and walked to the door, he wrapped his fingers around the doorknob then turned.

"You might think I don't care, but I really do. I do love you Ginny Weasley, I always will." He said gently, looking at her straight in the eyes.

Ginny responded by throwing a flowerpot filled with quills his way, barely missing him by a few inches. The remains of the pot and the quills were spread on the floor, his eyes wide in surprise as he saw the fury in hers. Harry knew that Ginny had a great aim, she was a Chaser after all, so it was obvious she only did that as a warning and it was clear what it was: _Another word and it will be your head I will be aiming for._

"I said, get the fuck out of my room Potter."

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><p><em>July 31<em>_st__ 1998_

"So why did the princess not come? I'm surprised she's not here sitting on his lap and eating half of his face by now." Muttered Ginny as she took a swing from her Butterbeer, it was Harry's 18th birthday, and they had a party at the Burrow to celebrate it. For some strange reason though, Cho was not with him that day. Her absence was very noticeable as well, since she was usually attached to him. Holding his hand or giving him a kiss on the cheek or lips.

"Oh, Harry said they had some kind of fall out. Apparently, Harry asked her for some time to think things over and she was furious." Said Hermione as she eyed her friend skeptically, "you wouldn't know anything about that, would you?"

"Why would I know what the hell goes through Harry Potter's mind?" asked Ginny, then narrowed her eyes as she eyed the boy in question, "He does whatever he wants to do, I don't know anything."

"Ginny, I know about the conversation you two had." Whispered Hermione as she took Ginny's hand in between hers, "I heard all of it, I confronted Harry after and made him tell me what was going on; so please let's talk about this like adults."

"I really care about him, Hermione. I still love him. He knows that, everybody knows that. I feel like a fool, I'm pinning after a guy who is getting married to the epitome of perfection. A guy who will never love me the way I want him to. But whatever, his loss, I guess." said Ginny as she looked down and fiddled with the Butterbeer bottle. Ginny shook her head and got up, taking the small bottle of firewhiskey that was on the table and put it inside her shirt so her mother wouldn't see it, "I don't really want to talk about it though, but thanks for the support! It's greatly appreciated."

"Ginny, please let's just talk about this like grown-ups!" begged Hermione, her eyes darting from side to side, making sure that none of the Weasleys were listening.

"Yeah, I'm not quite a grown up, so let me go and do something stupid and completely irresponsible while I still can." Said Ginny as she headed into her house to get a few stuff, but before going in she went back to the table and gave Hermione a wicked smile, "Don't worry, I won't do anything that will be permanent. No tattoos or piercings or running naked on the wind. I'll be totally irresponsible in the best way, have fun!"

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><p>Ginny ran in her room, and grabbed her backpack and emptied the contents. She threw in there a wireless radio, the bottle of Firewhiskey, a beach towel, her wand, and a jar of blue fire she had found in the kitchen earlier. In less than a few minutes she changed into her bikini, which was not necessarily immodest, but it was not appropriate to wear it around the house which was full of guest. So she threw a summer dress over it and made her way outside.<p>

Ginny looked back at the tables set on the orchard and saw a particularly worried looking Hermione talking to Harry. Ginny didn't care much about what they could be talking about, but when she saw them turn to look her way she simply smiled and walked off into the cornfield. She made her way into the cornfield, looking for a certain clearing where she found the sparkling water of the pond, shining under the light of the moon and the stars.

She took out the jar from her backpack and set it down on the small clearing, it was lighting up the area pretty well, so that was good enough for her. She spread the towel on the ground and took out her wireless, turned it on and waited for a song to start. She took a swing from the bottle of fire whiskey and felt the burn it left on her throat, she had to cough a little to get the burn to disappear, but it only happened after a while.

"Bon Jovi? Really Gin?" she heard Harry comment on the song that was playing on the wireless.

"Bon Jovi rocks, on occasion." She said as she took off her dress and stepped in the water and sang along with the song, "_I've seen a_ _million faces, and I rocked 'em all! 'Cause I'm a cowboy, on a steel horse I ride, and I'm wanted, dead or alive._"

She heard Harry chuckle lightly but paid him no attention. She submerged completely and opened her eyes underwater, seeing her hair float and contrast against the blue of the fire. After a couple of more seconds she went out and got some air again, this time deciding to just float on her back instead, watching the stars.

"Is it okay if I join you?" asked Harry with a tentative smile on his face, he was sitting on her towel and watching her swim, his eyes never lifted off of her since she stepped a foot on the water.

"I thought you had already invited yourself over," stated Ginny as she stood up straight in the water and turned to look at him her eyes giving away no hint of emotion, "I mean, after all you are interrupting my alone time when you should be at the Burrow enjoying your birthday party."

"Yeah, well I wanted to talk to you," said Harry slowly as he took off his shoes and socks and set them by her dress, "I think that there are many things we didn't really get straight last time we talked. Like the feelings we have for each other."

Ginny watched him unbutton his shirt and slip it off his shoulders, it felt like a cruel trick of fate to her. Why dangle him in front of her when she couldn't have him, why make her hurt more than she already did? Ginny knew exactly why. Because fate was a slut, she fucked everyone.

"What is there to talk about? We were both pretty clear last time we spoke. You can marry her; I don't really care," she lied as she watched him take off his jeans, then his glasses as he stepped in the water, "she is perfect for you. Pretty little trophy wife the world wants Mr. Harry Potter to ha-"

"I don't want to marry her," blurted out Harry, as he got closer to her, "to be honest, the only reason why I wanted to marry her was because of the lack of complications that come with being with her. If things were to fall apart between her and me, it wouldn't affect my life all that much. It's hard to be with her sometimes, though. She suffocates me sometimes, and she hates the two most important girls in my life: Hermione and you. I often wonder if she really loves me or if she's with me just for the name. What do you think?"

"You really want to really hear what I think about her?" she asked, he nodded in approval, "I think that she is an annoying self righteous little twat, she is superficial, mean, and conceited. But despite her shitty personality, I do believe she cares about you. No one can keep up their act for as long as she has. To be honest, I wish I was her."

"Why? You're perfect the way you are," commented Harry as he walked behind her and wrapped his arms around her slippery waist, "you are just beautiful, you don't need to be like her."

"That's not what I meant, I like the way I look. What I meant is that I wish I was in her shoes, if you get my drift," replied Ginny as she leaned into his embrace, her wet hair sticking to his chest, causing him to shiver lightly thanks to the chilly contrast between her wet locks and his heated skin, "I still love you, and you know that. I wish you wouldn't take advantage of this situation like I know you are doing right now."

***AN: warning: smut ahead. Don't read if your sensibilities will be offended, you will be notified when the smut ends.***

"Take advantage? I would never do such thing," He chuckled and used one of his hands to push her hair over her shoulder, giving his lips access to her sensitive neck. He started nibbling and kissing it lightly, grinning slightly as he heard small moans slip her lips, "I'm sure it's not considered taking advantage if you want this as much as I do, because it sounds like you are enjoying it."

"Mmm… I am, _but_ I'm just not going to risk getting caught doing naughty things with a man that is almost married," whispered Ginny as she stepped out of his embrace and swam to the edge of the pond, "come to me when you're not engaged anymore and then we will see."

"What if I promise to leave her? Would you still love me the same?" he asked as he wrapped his arms around her waist again, this time his hands wandered. One moved up to her ribcage gradually, making its way to her chest, slipping under her top and finding her sensitive nipple. The other hand pulled her against his hips, making her feel his obvious arousal. He moved that hand slowly down, using his thumb to circle her bellybutton before continuing the dangerously sinful path it was on. He reached her bikini, but instead of slipping his hand inside, he kept on going, teasing her sensitive flesh over the thin drenched fabric. He cupped her center and pressed his hand hard, making a particularly loud moan escape her lips again. "you never answered my questions, would you still love me?"

"Y-yes," she replied in a shaky breath as she tried to press herself against his hand again, needing to feel friction again, "Oh Merlin, we are going to get caught out here."

"Don't worry, I got it," whispered Harry as he stepped away from her and stepped out of the pond and walked towards his bundle of clothes. He grabbed his wand and cast a couple of spells around them, wards that would make them invisible to anyone outside their little piece of heaven and would make the person outside forget what they were doing there. And wards to keep whatever sound they made silent. It was perfect.

"Now, where were we?" he asked as he helped her out of the pond. He cast a charm on himself and on Ginny to dry them, and another one on the towel to make it feel as if it was a mattress. "Lay down, my love, I want to love you again."

Ginny laid down on the towel and was quickly followed by Harry. He positioned himself to her right, leaning on his elbow so he could kiss her lips for the first time in many months. Their lips met slowly and gently, the kiss turning more passionate and burning as they nibbled and licked each other's lips. Harry reached behind her back and untied the small knot that kept her top in place, revealing her small breasts and pink erect nipples. He kissed her jaw and slowly went down to in between her breasts and made his way to one of her nipples, circling it slowly with his tongue and then nibbling lightly on it. As Harry did that, he moved his right hand over her belly again, and started the agonizingly slow process of going down again. This time his hand didn't linger outside of the bikini. He went to the side, where a small knot was waiting for him to undo it. He pulled on the string, it became undone fast and easy. As he moved his hand to the other side he dragged the tip of his fingers over the fabric, doing it painfully slow and then pulled on the other string.

As Harry peeled off the last piece of fabric that was on her body, Ginny felt a shiver of anticipation on her body. He moved his fingers in between her sensitive and wet folds, finding the nub of nerves that could make her moan when he touched it the right way. And moan she did. He rubbed her clit with two fingers in a circular motion, making her lift up her hips, and spread her legs wider; giving him access to the most private areas of her body. Harry moved his fingers faster and faster over the bundle of nerves, hearing her moans getting louder the faster he went. He repositioned himself in between her legs, never breaking contact with her body and never stopped pleasuring her. He pulled down his boxers and made contact with her wet and sensitive folds, lubricating himself before entering her. Ginny gasped as she felt him enter her body, arching into him and meeting his body with every thrust. Her abdomen tightened as her orgasm approached, making her walls contract around him, pushing him closer to the edge and making him lose whatever control he had left. His thrusts became frenetic and rougher, until he couldn't hold himself together anymore and gave one final thrust in her body, spilling his seed inside of her.

***END OF SMUT SCENE***

He collapsed next to her, their breathing was uneven, and their bodies were soaked in sweat. He looked at her and marveled at her beauty, her face flushed and her usually perfectly straight hair was wild beyond recognition. Her skin glistened with beads of sweat, but even like that he thought she was the most beautiful creature in all creation. He leaned in to kiss her, but she pressed her hand against his shoulder and pushed him away.

"I know you're not going to leave her," said Ginny as she sat up and started putting on her bikini again, trying to get whatever dignity she could find by hiding her body from the person that had just taken it to paradise, "so there really is no need for after sex kissing. I know this didn't mean anything to you. So please don't make this harder for me than it should be."

"What are you- what do you mean this didn't mean anything to me, Gin?" asked Harry as he struggled to put on his glasses back on, "this meant a lot to me, I hope you know that! I just cheated on my fiancée, don't you think that you might have to mean at least a tiny bit in order to get me to do that?!"

"Oh please Potter, this was just sex for you," sneered Ginny as she put on her dress, "I bet you tell the same crap to the other girls you screw around with! Here, take your filthy clothes!"

"What other girls! You are the only one I have ever been with! There has never been anyone else but you," shouted Harry as he put on his clothes on quickly, trying his best not to trip and fall inside the pond, "you are the only woman I have ever touched this way, believe me, there has never been anybody else."

"Sure I am, I'm sure Cho thinks she's the only one as well," she spat as she picked up her things and stuffed them in a hurry inside her backpack, "you know what potter, just go. Marry her, because I don't want you. I despise you. I don't want you around me, I don't want you to talk to me, or to ever touch me again. You disgust me."

With those last memorable words she marched off to the Burrow, and a worried Harry went after her. What they didn't know was that they had forgotten something very important in the midst of their argument, to cast a contraceptive charm.

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><p><em>I think god is moving it's tongue<em>  
><em>There's no crowd in the streets<em>  
><em>And no sun in my own summer<em>

_The shade is a tool, a device, a savior_  
><em>See, I try and look up to the sky<em>  
><em>But my eyes burn<em>

_**My own summer (shove it) - Deftones**_

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><p><strong>AN: this is the revised version of chapter one. Since it's so long I decided to combine the second part of this chapter with the next one, which I will be uploading tomorrow night. I went back and fixed a lot of the dates so they can be correct. When I wrote this the first time I didn't really check the dates and it turned out to be such a pain in the ass to have to fix them, so I'll make sure to fix all of the previous mistakes I made. Like the fact that on the past story I said Ginny was 16 when in reality she should have been 15. On this revised version she is 16 but about to turn 17 (Ginny's birthday is 11 August of 1981) and Harry has just turned 18. For the people who have liked this story, thank you so much for it, and special thanks to triggbc because if it had not been for the PM they sent me I would have just laid here on a puddle of tears and deception. Thanks to that one person I decided to fix this story all over again and make it a more bearable thing to read. For the people who don't like the story, thanks anyway, you made me realize how shitty the story truly was and that is good because it makes me want to fix my many mistakes.<strong>


	2. Dun-Dun-Dun! We're Fcked

**For The Love Of Merlin! **

***CH2 REVISED VERSION***

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><p><em>Nobody told me what you thought<em>

_Nobody told me what to say_

_Everyone showed you where to turn_

_Told you when to runaway_

_Nobody told you where to hide_

_Nobody told you what to say_

_Everyone showed you where to turn_

_Showed you when to runaway_

_**Blurry – Puddle of Mudd**_

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><p><em><strong>August 25<strong>__**th**__** 1998**_

If someone were to ask Ginny how she felt, the one word she would have used to describe her feelings would be dull. She laid in her bed that morning, it was only a matter of days before she went back to school, but for the first time she dreaded the idea of it. She didn't want to do anything but curl up in a little ball and go back to sleep again, every morning she tried to go back to sleep, but her mother never let her get away with it. Ever. This day was different though, this was the day when she decided to cut it off; if she was going to be miserable, she wouldn't drag everybody else down with her. The day had just started; the sounds of the activity in the kitchen could be heard from her room, she could hear her mother humming lightly as she cooked breakfast. She heard the muffled sound of Ron's snores from his room, and the far away sounds of different muggle gadgets that her father was experimenting with out in the garage. She missed her family.

The past month had been the shittiest one yet, and it was getting gradually worse. After the incident she ended up isolating herself from her family and friends, deciding that if she was not going to be good company, might as well not bug them with her presence. Her mother could only take her sarcastic comments and the roll of the eyes for so long before she started to question her about everything. Another reason to keep herself away from people was the fact that apparently, Harry had taken her words to heart and decided to make up with Cho. Yeah, good for fucking them. At first Ginny blamed herself, thinking that maybe if she had not told him all those things that maybe he would have separated from Cho and gone back to her. Yeah, that mentality didn't last for long. He was a stubborn person, if he had truly want to be with her, he would have left Cho even after all those things she told him. Ginny knew that she was also to blame for what happened; she shouldn't have given in to him the way she did. She decided to not think about who to blame, because there was enough blame to pass around, but she knew that they were both equally responsible for what happened. Her for giving in, him for lying.

What started as a shitty month, continued to get worst for her. It started with small things, like suddenly losing all the love she had for bacon and cheese. She blamed it on the grief, deciding that maybe she had lost her usual appetite because of it. There were days when she didn't leave her room, she just slept through it all, barely touching any food, and trying her best to keep her family from dragging her out. Sometimes all she would eat were chunks of ice with salt, there was something oddly satisfying in feeling a small chunk of frozen water slowly make its way down her throat. Ginny felt as if she was not the same person anymore, her hair looked dull and her skin had turned slightly pale. Her athletic physique had also changed, replaced by a gaunt version of herself; not a petite and boyish body like the one Cho had, or the tall and lean Hermione had. No, it was scrawny and her bones seemed to start poking out of places where she had never seen them. Her mother seemed worried about her, and starting at her suspiciously often; she must have thought she had one of those eating disorders or something. After all, she had always been a girl to appreciate food.

Ginny took a quick shower, it was disturbing to see her body the way it was right now, at that moment she promised that she would try her best to eat better. Harry Potter be damned, she wasn't going to starve herself to death because of grief over him. She slipped a comfortable pair of exercise shorts and a t-shirt, her running shoes on her feet and her still wet hair up on a bun. Ginny wanted to get back in shape, get her hard-earned muscle back; she was supposed to have bulked up for the season during the summer but she ended up dropping Merlin knows how many pounds.

"Good morning mum," said Ginny with a bright smile as she walked through the kitchen and stepping outside into the bright morning light, ready for a light run around the property.

"Good morning dear," Her mother smiled softly, then filled a glass with pumpkin juice and handed it to her, "you will need something in your stomach in order to get a good run."

"Thanks mum," replied Ginny with a grin, it was a bit of a tradition they had. She would come down every morning, stretch, and before she left her mother would make her drink a glass of pumpkin juice. She didn't notice when they had started making a habit of it, but she didn't mind. It was the only time her mother and her could be alone and while it might seem like nothing to some, it was their special moment.

"Breakfast will be ready in thirty minutes! Don't take too long, Ronald might finish all the food if you do." Warned her mother with a smile, she took back the now empty glass and went back to her previous task as she watched her daughter jog away.

Ginny counted her steps, trying to keep her breathing even. _Ninety-one, ninety-two, ninety-three,_ it was getting harder every time she took a step. Her head seemed to be filled with wasps or something equally diabolic, because she felt as if her balance seemed to go completely out the window. The world seemed to be moving under her feet, making her clumsy and slow. _Exhaustion from running, good Merlin I need I run more, I'm so out of shape!_ Thought Ginny as she sat on the ground; she put her head between her knees, waiting for the dizziness to pass. She hadn't felt like this since she had gotten an ear infection a couple of years back, it was the worst feeling in the world. She waited for the dizziness to pass, when it did she got up and shook the dirt off herself and she walked home. Her feet felt heavy, and the walk seemed to feel longer than she remembered, but the promise of a plate of food in front of her seemed like a great reward for running as long as she did after so many days without movement.

As she walked in and took her place on the table she noticed one thing: that morning her mother had decided to start the day with a huge pile of fried bacon with a side of cheesy eggs, porridge, and pancakes; probably hoping her daughter would eat her once favorite food. That was not going to happen. As soon as Ginny smelled the cheesy and gooey goodness of the eggs, along with the oily and meaty aroma of the bacon, she couldn't hold down the glass of pumpkin juice that she had inside her stomach. The small girl ran as fast as she could to the nearest restroom, nearly knocking down her brother as she went up the stairs. Ginny spent about a couple of minutes with her head on the toiled bowl, emptying the contents of her stomach into it. She wiped her mouth with the back of her hand, slowly getting up and sat on the cold tile.

"Hey Gin, are you alright?" she heard Ron ask from outside the bathroom, "I heard you barfing in there, do you need me to call mum?"

"Thanks, but no! The run upset my stomach," shouted Ginny as she opened one of the cabinets to find a towel to clean her hands and face from the remaining vomit. She pulled out the first one she found, bringing out a few other things like rolls of toilet paper and a few other things. She washed her face and hands, and brushed her teeth again, hoping to remove the bitter taste of vomit from her mouth. After she dried her hands and face, Ginny proceed to put away the things she had accidentally from the cabinet.

_Toilet paper goes in here, the bar of soap does not belong in this cabinet, box of tampons goes in here too, hair bru- wait, tampons?_

She looked at the small box of feminine products, it was still sealed as she bought one every time her cycle was over just so she could be prepared for the next one. She had bought this thing over a month ago. She stuffed the box back in the cabinet where she had found it, and walked quickly to her room. Ginny opened the door of her closet, looked at the calendar and counted the days repeatedly, hoping that she had somehow messed up and missed something. Every single time she counted the days, she ended up getting the same message: two weeks late. Nausea, dizziness, no period, it all gave her the same message. The one thing she did not need right now.

_I am so dead._

* * *

><p><em>Dear Hermione,<em>

_I know that last time we spoke privately, I was being a bit of a smart ass, and I wish I had not behaved the way I did you. I know I have no right to ask you for anything, especially after my childish display a while back, but I really need your help right now. I think I'm in big trouble. I hope I'm wrong, but I need to make sure. Please get back to me as soon as you can. It's a life or death situation._

_Lots of love,_

_Ginny._

Ginny folded the piece of parchment and wrapped it around the tiny little claws of Pig, sending the small hyperactive bird out the window and watching fly away until she could not see it anymore. It took about fifteen minutes for Hermione to walk in the door, apparently when she said "life or death situation" it would automatically attract her friend's attention.

"Ginny, tell me what's wrong," whispered Hermione, knowing that the walls in the burrow could be pretty thin sometimes and it was easy for the conversations to be heard on other parts of the house, "tell me what you mean when you said you were in big trouble?"

"Well, I might or might not be.. uh-"Ginny fidgeted for a moment, her hands sweaty and clammy, "in a compromising situation."

"A compromising situation?" asked Hermione with a slightly puzzled expression on her face, "it's not something illegal, is it?"

"No, but I'm sure my mother would think so," laughed Ginny nervously, "I just need you to help me to buy some Muggle thing, or get me an appointment with those Muggle Healers, the dough-tours."

"A doctor? Why would you need to go to the doctor?" questioned Hermione, then her face softened in understanding, "If you are sick, you need your parents to take you to St. Mugno's , I mean I understand you could be a little embarrassed, but all the signs are there. Your mother has been worried about it for a while now. It's a good thing that you asked for help Ginny, with your family by your side and the guidance of a Healer, I'm sure that you can fight off this disorder. We will always support you."

"Disorder?" asked Ginny in confusion, "What are you talking about?"

"Wait, you're not trying to tell me that you're struggling with an eating disorder?" replied Hermione with surprise.

"No, I think I'm pregnant you silly girl!" snapped Ginny, then she covered her lips with her hands as Hermione's expression turned into a combination of shock, confusion and then finally she placed her hands over her mouth as well.

"Harry." She whispered through her hands, her pace finally turning an ashen color, her eyes wide and worried, "It's Harry's isn't it?"

"I – I don't know what you are talking about, it's not his." Stuttered Ginny nervously, "So please don't go telling him anything."

"I don't believe you, but I respect your wishes," said Hermione as she bit the inside of her cheek "so you want to go to a doctor to make sure if you are pregnant or not?"

"Yes," replied Ginny, her voice thickening and a few treacherous tears filled her eyes. She brushed them off with the back of her hand, not willing to let herself be weak enough to cry again, there would be a time for crying later, but it was not going to be that day, "I would go with a healer, but I'm a little hesitant… I mean, I don't want anyone to slip up and say anything."

"There are laws to keep them us from talking about private matters of our patients," stated Hermione as she pulled her curly hair into a bun, "I could find someone trust worthy to check on you. I'm not qualified to do any checkups yet, but I know a few people who are and who wouldn't say anything, even if the Healer's Vow wasn't over them. With a healer checking over you, there is nothing that you won't know about the baby –if there is one. Muggle medicine might be advanced in some fields, but pregnancy is not one of them. If you want to, we can go right now Gin."

She thought about it for a few minutes, Hermione was right, the healers were under a vow to keep them from speaking. Even though there could be loopholes on those vows, she was almost positive that if the person Hermione spoke of were trust worthy, then they wouldn't find a way around the loophole of the vow just to speak about this. The best option was to agree, that way she could know for sure, and if she were to be pregnant, she could get the necessary potions to make sure her baby was healthy and well.

"Alright, let me shower and get changed and we will be on our way." Said Ginny as she walked to her closet and retrieved some clothes for the day. "We need to make up a good lie for my mother too. So you brainstorm while I shower really quick."

In the end, they ended up telling Mrs. Weasley that Ginny was interested in being a healer – which was true, and that Hermione had gotten her a permit to follow her around while she did her internship in the hospital. They decide to stick as close as they could to the truth, since Mrs. Weasley was somewhat of a human lie detector when it came to her kids, so there was no need to arise further suspicion upon them. The trip to St. Mugno's was through the Floo, so they arrived quickly in a flash of green and ashes into the employee entrance of the hospital. A few people here and there waved at Hermione, some even asked her what she was doing there on her free day, and other interns gave her smiles as they rushed through the immaculate halls of the hospital.

"While you were in the shower, I managed to call up a good friend of mine in the gynecology area." said Hermione as they walked into a small office and she signed Ginny's name into the check in list, "He managed to squeeze us in between one of his two appointments this afternoon. But if someone doesn't show up for their appointment, he will let us take that spot."

"Alrighty," muttered Ginny, as she picked up a Quidditch Monthly magazine from the table and started to look through it absent-mindedly. She looked around the office, there was a secretary desk up front, a middle aged witched sat behind it reading Witch Weekly while she drank one of those muggle drinks in the aluminum cans, and it read _Diet Coke_ on the label. There was a beautiful looking young woman waiting as well, she looked around five months pregnant, and she had a small toddler by her side. He silently played with his Quidditch action figures as his mother leafed through a cooking magazine, her eyes leaving the magazine every couple of minutes to look at her child and made sure he behaved. Hermione wrote a few things on her journal and compared notes with the small book she had on her lap. The small clock on the wall made an obnoxious clicking sound every time the hands moved, echoing around the room full of posters of health and motivational quotes about the beauty of life and family.

"_Family is a gift that lasts forever."_

"_Having someone to love is family, having somewhere to go is home, having both is a blessing!"_

"_Don't follow your dreams, chase them!"_

"_When life knocks you down, get back up and fight harder"_

"_Learning is a gift. Even when pain is your teacher."_

Who the fuck decorated this place?

"Mrs. Malfoy, here are your test results. Sorry for the wait, we had a small inconvenience in the laboratory; you and your baby are both healthy." Said a deep voice from the healer's office, a familiar voice, "and here is a lollypop for little Scorpius, a well behaved lad as always!"

Ginny turned and finally realized why the voice sounded familiar; Hermione had brought her to the office of Cedric Diggory. It's not as if she didn't like him, he had always been friendly enough, but it would just be really awkward to talk about what she had always considered "girl business" with a ridiculously good looking guy. But it was too late, she was already here and he had already set his eyes on them as soon as Mrs. Malfoy (when did Malfoy get married anyway?) and her son made their way out.

"Hermione, Ginny, it's wonderful to see you two! Come in ladies, I hope you haven't been waiting for long." smiled the former Hufflepuff as he gave them a friendly handshake, "Miss Heather, you can take a break if you'd like. Just be sure to be back by three forty-five for the appointment with Mrs. Finnegan, you know how fond she is of you."

"Of course healer Diggory," smiled the older woman at the young Healer as she gathered her things.

"Come in ladies, that way we can get started," said Cedric as he held the door open to his office and took a clipboard from his assistant's desk, "Miss Weasley, if you would like to go behind the screen and disrobe, there will be a hospital gown for you to put on inside a sealed bag. You can come out when you're ready. Hermione, you can sit on the desk while I do the exam on Miss Weasley or stand by her side, it's up to her."

"I want Hermione to be with me," said Ginny as she looked at her curly haired friend, "please?"

"I will stand with you gin, don't worry." Replied Hermione with a small smile as she took a seat in front of Cedric's desk, "go and get changed, when you come out I'll be right next to you."

Ginny walked behind the screen and started getting undressed. Her hands were shaking as she unbuttoned her blouse and slipped it off her shoulders, her palms sweaty as she contemplated the notion that there could be a life growing inside of her. Being there made it more real. She almost tripped once or twice as she removed her jeans, her nerves getting the best of her. When Ginny finally managed to take off all of her clothes, she took out the blue and pink hospital gown from the bag, it was huge and shapeless, but it was enough to keep her somewhat warm in the cold room. She heard Hermione and Cedric chatter about some new law coming out of some kind, but she didn't pay them much attention, her mind was preoccupied with the fact that she might or might not have a tiny human on her insides. She walked out from behind the screen, her arms wrapped around herself; she felt eleven years old all over again.

"I'm ready," said Ginny, her eyes going from Hermione to Cedric. The young healer smiled and motioned to a recliner on the room.

"Great, now all you have to do is lay down on this recliner," said Cedric as he put on a pair of latex gloves, "All I will be doing is doing some revealing charms and see what is going on. Hermione, would you be kind enough to dim the lights out for me?"

Ginny hopped onto the cold recliner, she laid down and felt the need to close her eyes as Cedric stood next to her, she was trembling with anxiety as she saw Cedric wave his wand over her body. Her nerves went down as soon as she felt Hermione's hand on her shoulder, smiling encouragingly at her. Lights and symbols floated over Ginny, none of them made much sense to her, but they must have meant something since Cedric simply looked at them and wrote everything down on the clipboard he had charmed to float next to him. He waved his wand a second time and a bright light erupted from within her. Floating over her hips was a bundle of glowing lights and tiny orbs, they were all moving around until it turned into a small and somewhat shapeless bundle of lights. It didn't really look like anything, well it might have looked like a tadpole. If tadpoles were fluorescent bundles made of glowing blue lights.

"Miss Weasley, I believe that you are six weeks pregnant." Stated Cedric. He stopped waving his wand, the blue bundle of lights moving around slowly so he could examine it from every angle, making sure that everything was in order.

"T- That's my baby?" stuttered Ginny, her eyes filling with tears as she saw the small floating bundle of lights, "that's my baby."

"Yes, that's your baby…" whispered Hermione, her eyes full of tears as well, seeing the tiny life that lived inside her friend, "oh Ginny…"

"As far as I can see Miss Weasley, your baby is completely healthy." Said Cedric in a light tone, which suddenly changed into a frown as he turned to his notes, "what I'm worried about right now is your iron levels, they are extremely low, putting you at risk of getting an iron deficiency anemia. But do not worry, you can go and get dressed and I will talk to you some more about the solutions to that issue."

As Ginny got dressed, she thought about many things, her baby being one of them. She was afraid, because she knew exactly what this meant for her. Disgrace, looked down upon and sneers going her way. She was in so much deep shit right now, that there was no way to fix it. Harry was getting married, and while she had known that he was not going to leave the epitome of perfection for her, she knew that it would kill him to know that he was having a child with someone who wasn't his future wife. Her child would have to have her last name, since no one could know that it was his. She decided that while he deserved to know that she was having his child, he would not take part in their life. Why? Because she was not going to force him to be with her, especially when Harry had made up his mind already, it was simple that way. The fears that she had and the difficulties that she would have to face, they were nothing to the shame she would feel if Harry would be with her out of pity. She would be unhappy, because she would know that she was simply his second option, just being with her to be honorable.

"Ginny, are you done back there?" asked Hermione.

"yes, I was just trying to tie my shoe better," replied Ginny, a stupid reply really, because the shoes she was wearing didn't have any shoelaces. "I'm going."

The redheaded girl took her seat in front of the desk, her eyes downcast, and her expression ashen, "so what can I do to get healthier Cedric?" she asked her voice thick and her eyes slightly moist. "I mean, this isn't the most ideal way of bringing a child into this world, but I'm going to make sure that this baby is healthy and doesn't have to go through any unnecessary risks."

"That will be arranged." Said Cedric, his grey eyes starting at her, then switching to Hermione, "Now, this I'm going to ask as a friend, so it is completely up to you to answer: who is the father?"

"Cedric!" hissed Hermione, her face scandalized at the question her friend had asked Ginny.

"it's okay Hermione," assured Ginny then she turned to the healer, "I'm sorry Cedric, I would rather keep that to myself. I don't want to jeopardize any relationship he has already, so I would rather keep it to myself."

The young healer lifted his eyebrows and slowly nodded, "I think I have an idea of who it might be, but I believe it's best if I keep my assumptions to myself."

After that was said, the office was filled with a thick and heavy feeling of tension in the air. Hermione asked polite questions, and Cedric answered. He scribbled the name of the potions that they would need to buy and the dosage that Ginny would have to take. After an awkward goodbye they were on their way.

3That night, Ginny wrote him a letter. It was simple and small, straight to the point. She was going to tell him what was going on and it would be his decision to stay or leave, and even though she was not eager to see him go, Ginny would never beg him to stay with her.

_Potter, _

_Meet me at the Leaky Cauldron this Saturday at 9:30, it's urgent and cannot wait._

_G.W._

* * *

><p><strong>AN: I finally managed to upload this, it took forever to do because I have a shitload of crap to do, like plan a wedding (yay! I'm getting married! :D ) and pretty much be an adult (not so awesome as they make it out to be on tv… being an adult sucks hairy balls…) but I finally managed to fix this. This will be chapter two, the "chapter 3" will be the second part of chapter 2. Does that make sense? Not really. So what was formerly chapter 3 is going to be chapter four and from then on it will be sooooo much easier to figure out. We on the Same page buddies? I hope you guys are still around, like all three or four of you, cause to be honest this is getting harder and harder to write because I feel like I'm in Cho's position now and I would be pretty fucking mad if my fiancé had an affair with his ex gf and knocked her up. Fanfiction is not so fun if you think about how it would affect you in real life, right? Right. So watch as I destroy and fuck over the life of these wonderful characters that Rowling created for us! Yay for us, boo for them! :D and for those of you who think that Harry is being a little shit, yeah he is, but I believe Ginny is equally guilty right there. It takes two to tango, so I don't think she is quite the victim in this story, just a girl that made a mistake.<strong>

**Now to clear some stuff up about how AU this is and how things are set up: PETER WAS CAUGHT IN BOOK 3 AND THERE ARE NO VOLDIE-SOULS FLOATING AROUND! This means that the lovely characters, that we love and appreciate, are alive and well; like Sirius and Cedric. So, Peter was caught at the end of PoA and Sirius was cleared of all charges. The next year Harry's name wasn't tossed in the goblet. Because of the lack of professor for DADA the ministry DID send our not so favorite toad to teach. Since she didn't teach well, Dumbledore's Army was formed anyway. By then, Cedric and Cho were apart because he had already left Hogwarts, so Harry started liking her and they pretty much flirted all the time. The next year everything went exactly the same (minus Dumbledore dying and you know, all that nasty business…) but Cho wasn't interested in Harry anymore. Ginny still liked him so they started dating and were together that whole year and the next. A couple of months before Harry left Hogwarts he got in touch with Cho again, they started talking and he left Ginny as soon as he realized Cho would date him. They quickly got engaged and well here we are now… so that's kind of what happened but I'm too lazy to properly write all of it. **

**Anyway, I'm almost done with the other chapter, so yay for that. Don't forget to tell me how much you like or hate the story, if you think something is weird or which character you want to punch the most! Love ya and have a happy week!**


	3. The Wedding

**For The Love Of Merlin! – The Wedding**

* * *

><p><em>What have I become?<em>

_My sweetest friend_

_Everyone I know_

_Goes away in the end_

_You could have it all_

_My empire of dirt_

_I will let you down_

_I will make you hurt_

_**Hurt – Nine Inch Nails**_

* * *

><p><em>Saturday September 12<em>_th__ 1998_

"Wow, I seriously can't wait until I get to have a baby, just look at how nice your girls look in that dress! If that is what I have to look forward to then I am so in! I'm so glad that I won't be forever stuck with a B cup... Well, I hope they stay big after having a baby." said Cho as she stepped into her beautiful yet simple pure white dress with Ginny's and Hermione's help.

"I'm sure Ginny would trade you on a heartbeat, they might be pretty to look at, but my mother told me they hurt like hell while pregnant." Commented Hermione nonchalantly, "and yes, hopefully they might stay that way after you have a child."

"You know, harry always told me he wanted a big family, and I always did as well. He would always be talking about how we should have babies right away, but now he's been saying how maybe waiting would be a better option…"

"Have you talked to him about this?" asked Hermione who looked up puzzled from the small ribbon she was wrapping around Cho's waist, "I mean, I'm sure he has a good reason to have changed his mind; even if it's something I never thought he would do."

"He said that it would be best if we got to 'enjoy our married life first,' I would love to do that as well, but we already had a plan… and he knows how bad I wanted to have a baby. I swear if he changes his mind about having babies I will kill him!"

"Oh, don't worry, I'm sure he is just nervous. As long as he's not too nervous for your wedding night then you will be alright!" laughed Hermione as she handed Cho a small glass of champagne, took one for herself, and gave Ginny one with pumpkin juice since she was not allowed to drink anything with alcohol on it.

"Oh I sure hope so! I'm actually really nervous, since it will be our first time together. Since we're both virgins I'm really hoping it doesn't end in tragedy!" Cho said in a hushed voice, which unfortunately enough happened when Ginny decided to drink some of her pumpkin juice; so the little redhead ended up coughing out her drink all over the place, barely missing the bride. "for the love of Merlin, are you alright Ginny?!"

But the redhead kept coughing, waving the girls away, signaling them both to back away. Her face was red like her hair, and her eyes had gotten watery from all of the coughing. When it finally stopped, she looked up to Hermione, who was offering a cup of cold water and giving her an inquisitive look.

"uh- Sorry- morning sickness…" said Ginny after she drank some of the water. In reality, she found it rather amusing that harry hadn't told Cho about their little affair, if that's what it could be called. "please, do continue what you were telling us…"

"well, I'm sure most boys know the – uhh – basics, of what it is like to have intercourse," coughed Hermione as she blushed and fixed Ginny's hair, "I mean, I'm sure that after being friends with Ronald for so long, Harry cannot possibly be ignorant in the – umm – ways of the flesh."

Cho looked pensive for a moment as she fiddled with her massive engagement ring, then she looked up and looked at both girls with a nervous smile.

"Well, even if he is not experienced, it will still be special. Maybe that is what makes it so. I am extremely glad that we could both remain pure until marriage… I mean, yeah it was hard to wait, especially for him. There was even a time when I thought that he would end up cheating on me with some trollop because I was not giving him what he wanted. But we both knew exactly what we wanted. I mean, I just know how disappointed he would have been if I had given myself to someone before marriage! No one likes broken goods."

"Yeah, I guess you are right. It does suck to be, as you so eloquently call it, broken goods." Shame and anger bubbled inside Ginny's stomach as she spoke, "I loved and still love the man who I gave myself to, even if he doesn't want to take responsibility of this baby. It's fine with me though, because I know that in this life what you give, you get back."

"Oh Ginny, I didn't mean to –" said Cho, she looked genuinely sorry.

"Don't worry Cho, I know you didn't mean t offend me," smiled Ginny as she looked down and fiddled with the silk ribbon on her dress. "I just hope that he is happy with the life he chose. Even if I am going to stick through this alone, I'm not going to let that put me down, or ruin his life, he deserves to be happy."

"You deserve to be happy as well, I hope you know that. And you won't be alone sweetheart, you have your family with you, you have Harry and me as well. I know that you feel as if you are getting in the way by staying with us, but we are happy to have you around, and when the baby comes, we will be happy to have the little angel as well! It will be great practice for once Harry and I have our own little ones." Said Cho as she held Ginny's hand in between hers.

It was a bittersweet moment for Ginny, because she knew that her child would be born without a father to look up to, she would be looked down upon by the other members of the magical community; they would never have the same protection or respect that the other families. Friend of Harry Potter or not, she would be frowned upon for having a child out of wedlock. All of that would be fine though, because Harry would be happy with Cho, which made her happy. He deserved to be happy, Harry had gone through so much pain and suffering, she couldn't take the one good thing to ever happen to him.

"thank you Cho, it really means a lot to me," said Ginny with a tearful smile, "now let's finish getting you ready, you have a wedding to get to."

* * *

><p>The wedding was a small but elaborate affair. The bridesmaids were Ginny, Hermione, and Katie Bell. They wore knee length airy empire cut dresses, the dresses were a light peachy color, and they were required to wear a crown of wild flowers on their heads. The maid of honor was Marietta Edgecombe, her dress was the same cut and length, but it was a light blue instead of peach. Marietta gave Hermione a dirty look as they waited outside the church, the boys (Ron as the best man. Neville, Fred and George were the groomsmen) had gone in already as well as Katie. Ginny waited for her cue to walk in, as did Hermione.<p>

"How did you manage to get the birds away from your hair Granger? I mean, that's all it needs right now to look like an actual nest." Sneered Marietta.

"I don't know it's a mystery. Anyway, what kind of makeup are you wearing anyway, Marietta? I mean, you can't _really_ see that many scars on your face anymore. It looks like it will work well on flawless skin. Lucky me, I never had acne while in school." Smiled Hermione, then turned and walked in the church with a bright smile on her face as Marietta's face twisted from a sneer into an ugly angry frown.

"What are you laughing at Weasley?" hissed the angry girl as she looked at Ginny's smug smile.

"The beauty in life Edgecombe, the beauty in life." Said Ginny as she walked in the church, her head help up high and a smile on her face. This might be the worst day so far, the father of her unborn child was going to marry another woman, and she couldn't change that. She would let him be happy because he deserved it, and she would try her best to be happy for him. Even if his happiness meant that she would be alone.

* * *

><p><strong><em>Harry POV<em>**

The small church was full of flowers, they were everywhere, on the ceiling on the seats, on the windows… The smell of them was filling Harry's nostrils, it reminded him of funerals, it shouldn't, but it did anyway.

_Great way to start a marriage: lies, impregnating one of the bridesmaids and thinking the church smells like a funeral, the recipe for a perfect marriage! _Thought Harry as he waited up by the altar, his face reflecting his anxiousness as he waited for his bride to enter the church, the poor girl who was being fooled into marrying a liar and a fraud of a boy.

In reality, he had been having cold feet about getting married the past couple of days, for fourteen days and a few hours to be exact. It started when Ginny went to the hospital. Since then his mind was filled with thoughts of a certain redhead and their unborn child. He felt like a coward for not stepping up and saying something when her parents shouted at her at the hospital, he should have done something. It was half his fault anyway. The words could not leave his mouth, and everything he did felt forced. He felt as if her family would find out that he had been the one to impregnate their only girl. Harry had watched Ginny sit there and not bat an eyelash as her family shouted at her, she took all the blame and silently let her family belittle her and call her things that he never thought could come out of their mouths. At some point, they asked her who was the father of the child she was having, that's when Harry almost fainted on the spot. He waited for her to give him away, to tell them that it was his baby, to take some of the blame away from her and give it to someone else. That never happened.

"_I refuse to force someone to be with me for the sole reason that I'm having his child," said Ginny stubbornly as tears filled her eyes, "he is not ignorant of this situation, and I know that if he was willing to be with me and this child he would have done something about it. But he hasn't. There is no point in make someone pay for someone that they didn't want any more than I did. I know that he is with someone else and I refuse to ruin that, not for his sake, but for the sake of the woman with him."_

Her words stung, at that moment he was tempted to speak and take all the blame on himself. The only thing that stopped him was the fact that his fiancée was right next to him. She was the one person, other than Hermione, who seemed to be genuinely worried about Ginny. _Ginny, sweet little Ginny. What am I going to do about her? _Thought Harry as the music started.

The doors of the church opened and the bridal party glided in. First, it was Katie Bell, smiling shyly as she walked down the aisle to her designated spot. The next one was Hermione, his sister in all but blood. She looked beautiful in a way that only she could, shiny and bouncy curls replaced her untamed fluffy hair, her smile was contagious, and the devious glint in her eye that he had learned to be wary of was in place as well. The next one was Ginny and God she looked radiant. Her skin had a healthy glow to it, and even though her hair seemed to clash with the color of her dress, it worked perfectly on her. She had fashioned her hair in the way Hermione's was, but since it was naturally straight the tight curls had loosened up, making it look wavy and shiny. The crown of flowers on her hair made her look like a fairy princess of some sorts. Her smile was beautiful, and as she walked down the aisle, Harry wished that she could be the one wearing the white dress. As she got closer, he noticed the things that no one else did, like how her brilliant smile did not meet her eyes. She looked tired and sad, but who could blame her, the father of her child was about to marry some other girl and she was being forced to watch from the first row.

He had been caught up looking at Ginny that he didn't even notice when Marietta, the best friend of his future wife, had made her way up the altar with a fake smile plastered on her face. He didn't even notice Cho was in the room until she was half way down the aisle.

If someone asked him to describe Cho with one word, he would have said HAPPY. She had the biggest smile he had ever seen on her face, her thick black hair had been twisted into some kind of complicated knot and the veil was in place. Her dress was pure white and had beads and pearls all over the place. It wrapped around her upper body and thighs and it fanned out at around the same area where her knees would be. _She kind of looks like a mermaid with that dress_, he thought as she stepped in front of him.

With one last look at Ginny, he could see that she still had her brave little smile on her face, but her eyes were now glistening. They were full of tears, tears of disappointment, anger, helplessness, and sorrow. This was his last chance to turn away from what he had planned and to do the right thing, this was the point of no return. He turned his eyes to Cho, her eyes were full of hope and her smile as vibrant as always. She was radiating happiness. He turned to Ginny one more time and saw the tears go slowly down her cheeks, he saw her small lips mouth something. _Marry her_, she said. So he did.

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><p><em>I wear this crown of shit<em>

_Upon my liar's chair_

_Full of broken thoughts_

_I cannot repair_

_Beneath the stains of time_

_The feelings disappear_

_You are someone else_

_I am still right here_

_**Hurt – Nine Inch Nails**_

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><p><strong>Yeah I know, it's not cool to update once a year, I know. If you have stuck around then I hope you realize that the first two chapters of the story are absolute shit. This one is better (I hope) in quality and quantity. I wanted to give some better insight from Harry's POV so you guys can see the reasons why he's doing what he's doing. Yeah it might seem pretty shitty to leave a girl pregnant and alone and marrying someone else. But I guess he had his reasons to do things the way he did. The Weasleys have been his only family, how do you think they would react if they found out that he had knocked up the only daughter, specially while he is engaged to someone else? Yeah, they would not be happy. or maybe they would. The point is that he thinks that they will hate his guts. Another thing, I wanted to elaborate a little more on Cho… Sometimes people write her on fanfics as some cruel jealous bitch, and to be honest that's exactly what I was planning on doing when I first started this story. She is not that way though. She is just a girl who is insecure and at the same time used to having people adore her, so when she sees that Harry thinks highly of other girls she automatically gets pissy and jealous, it's a bit of a defense mechanism that many people have, me included. I believe that not everyone is truly bad in this story, not even Marietta, because even though she is an annoying little twat, she still had her reasons for doing what she did. Wrong reasons and all, but she thought she was doing the right thing. <strong>

**I want to apologize if I write stuff about the pregnancy totally wrong. I'm only 20 years old and I have never been pregnant, so I'm trying to write it as best as I can! Thank you so much for your reviews, and even though I have kept you waiting for long I'm grateful for every single one of you who followed and reviewed this story! Thank you so so so much!**

**PS: I'm seriously considering going back and rewriting the first two chapters from the ground up all over again, none of the important things will change, just the quality of the writing (my grammar and spelling sucked when I was in high school) and I believe that it can get better if I fix it.**

**If you guys think it's a good idea PLEASE TELL ME, I want to know if anyone will go and check out the revised chapters if I do it! **

**Once more thanks for the reviews, favorites, and follows. You guys are awesome!**

**Lots of love, K.C.C.**


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