Final Fantasy VII 1. Chapter One: The First Cut

**Chapter One: The First Cut**

((**Author's Notes: **This story takes place within my AU (which is based on the original game only). The events that follow happen **in the past**, between Irony of Fate Chapter 17, when Avalanche finds Tseng wounded in the Temple of the Ancients, and Chapter 47 when he frees them from the brig in Junon Harbor. Tseng is next seen on assignment with Elena in Battlegrounds Phase 4. This is what happened "behind the scenes" to lead up to that and my later fic On My Honor. However, you DO NOT need to have read all of that to follow this story. There's mention of some of my AU continuity (like the fact that Sephiroth has joined Avalanche), but otherwise this follows canon events to a degree and isn't all that complicated. I'm always available by PM to answer any questions as well. Thanks for checking this out! _~ JenesisX _))

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Three black chocobos skid to a stop outside the ancient temple, a shower of dust camouflaging their riders. The lands surrounding the enormous building appeared tranquil and abandoned, but they dismounted with haste and readied their weapons. The afternoon may have seemed peaceful, but the emergency request for assistance they'd received a short time before had already informed them it was anything but.

"Come on, guys," Elena urged her companions, taking the lead even though she was the least senior member by far. "Hurry up!"

"Cool it, rookie," Reno snapped, checking his gun yet again. His usual playful demeanor had vanished the moment they'd received the worrisome message, and for the first time in Elena's experience he'd transformed into a serious leader. The effect was rather disconcerting, and she was already as ill at ease as she'd ever been in her life.

Rude barely looked up as he finished organizing his equipment, which included a small first aid kit. "We have to be prepared, Elena. If we rush in there and get ambushed, we're no good to him."

Elena forced herself to slow down and wait for them, biting her lower lip. Her stomach was alive with butterflies, and her mind raced with one horrible scenario after another. When a Turk sent that particular encoded message, it was serious. The fact that _Tseng_ had sent it made it even more so. Their leader was extremely competent and independent, and he never would have requested aid in such a way unless he was in immediate danger. The fact that no one could raise him by PHS since made the situation far more dire.

Elena stared ahead at the winding stone path that led to a steep flight of stairs, nearly trembling with nervous energy. Dammit, she never should have let him go on ahead without her. They were partners, and she should have been there to watch his back. Well… they weren't _really _partners. She was still being supervised in the field because she'd been a Turk for less than a year, and he was the head of the department who had done much of her training. And she hadn't exactly had a choice about being left behind, either, lacking the position and the nerve to voice her protests. But the reality of the situation did little to ease her guilt as she studied the forbidding structure. If something bad had happened to him, she'd never be able to forgive herself.

"All right, let's go," Reno said after a minute that seemed to stretch on forever, leading the way forward with his gun firmly in hand. Rude gestured for Elena to follow before falling in behind. As tall as he was, he could easily shoot over his shorter companions, and he'd become accustomed to bringing up the rear.

Elena swallowed nervously as the three of them advanced along the narrow stone pathway, moving quickly yet with caution. They still didn't know what had gone wrong, a sense of impending danger heavy in the air. Whether it was a band of local monsters, an unknown force, or the rebel group Avalanche themselves that had caused Tseng to call for help, they could only guess.

_Avalanche. _Of all the possibilities, it was the one she dreaded most… Because if it had been the rebel group who put Tseng in danger, it was entirely her fault.

Her main weakness as an up and coming Turk had always been her nervous excitability, the result of innate personality mixed with age and inexperience. The moment she felt unsettled, she had a near uncontrollable urge to speak, to say something… _anything_… to diffuse the tension. She'd been scolded for it repeatedly, and while she'd begun to improve as of late, she'd done it yet again when faced with the entire rebel group back in Wutai. While Reno and Rude seemed entirely nonplussed and returned to their drinks in the tavern, she'd stood there like a fool and blurted out Tseng's current location, and the fact that he was alone. She felt a bit better once she'd stepped away from her teammates to contact her boss and let him know Avalanche was on to their plans, but hadn't found the courage to admit that she was part of the cause. She was certain Reno would inform him of all her recent mistakes as soon as he had the opportunity. The chain-smoking redhead had hated her on first sight, and seemed hell-bent on embarrassing her as much as possible… especially in front of Tseng.

"It's too quiet," Reno said, continually scanning their surroundings as they made their way along the path. "And the fact that he ain't out here waiting for us…"

He didn't need to complete the sentence. Tseng would definitely have been there awaiting their arrival… if he was able. Elena frowned, a sudden wave of nausea bringing on the strong urge to vomit. She swallowed hard and summoned all of her will power, unwilling to give Reno one more reason to make fun of her and tell anyone who would listen that she was not cut out to be a Turk. She still had so much to prove.

They were all desperate to reach their boss, but Elena admitted that a large part of her concern for him went far past loyalty and duty. Her face grew hot as the thought passed through her mind, and for a moment she feared the others knew exactly what she was thinking. From the first time she'd arrived in his office to report for duty, there had just been something about Tseng. It was a feeling she'd never experienced before, an immediate rush of feeling and gripping fascination that went far beyond the usual admiration she had for a handsome man. While he was indeed extremely attractive, there was much more to it. She felt almost drawn to him by an unseen force, and everything he said and did held her attention. At first, she'd told herself it was simply because he was her boss, a powerful man within the company who had long since grown comfortable with his position. But before long, she had to admit that her feelings for him came from the side of her that was a woman and not a Turk.

Elena knew it was dangerous, and she'd tried desperately to curb her interest before anyone caught on. Tseng seemed oblivious, even when she repeatedly embarrassed herself in his presence. She tried so hard to stop thinking about him that way, but the more time she spent with him, the worse it became. She noticed more and more things that she found irresistible, and sometimes when their eyes met, she wondered… Was there a hint of feeling hidden beneath his professional exterior, a part of him that felt the same way? Her heart would race before she quickly looked away, scolding herself for believing someone so serious and focused on his work would have any interest in a much younger underling. But even if he never returned her feelings, he'd become so important to her that the thought of losing him was unbearable. Though she hadn't prayed in many years, she found herself leaning on the gods for strength as she stuck close to Reno.

Once they'd made their way to the top of the crumbling stairway, Elena immediately spotted something lying on the ground just outside the elaborate temple door. She aimed her weapon at a motionless heap of black, quickly realizing that it was a human body. The figure was dressed in a long cloak, lying completely motionless in a congealing pool of blood. Elena held back a gasp of alarm as Reno quickly moved forward, squatting down beside the body and quickly shaking his head after checking for signs of life.

"Dead… Sword wound," he said flatly, removing the hood of the cloak to check the figure's identity. It was a young man, his brown Mako eyes wide and unseeing, his mouth frozen open in a silent scream.

"What's he doing here…" Rude asked, mostly to himself. "He's no one we know, and he hasn't been dead very long. Dressed oddly to be way out here in the middle of nowhere, and this temple isn't exactly known to the public."

"Shit," Reno concluded, standing up and eyeing the thick golden door just ahead. "Tseng doesn't carry anything that could make a wound like that, so someone else is definitely in there. Could be Avalanche, but… I dunno, they don't tend to randomly kill people."

"Sephiroth's with them now, though," Elena finally spoke up, remembering the chill his presence in Wutai had caused to race down her spine. Gods, she hoped she was wrong. Tseng was a damn good shot and extremely skilled in close combat as well, but even if the unnatural former general had come alone he would not have stood a chance.

"Good point," Reno said to her surprise, nodding thoughtfully. "He always _was_ a fucking lunatic, and we don't really know what his agenda is now. Let's assume their whole damn team is in there, and that we may be dealing with a hostage situation."

"Think we should call for backup?" Rude asked as Reno placed his free hand on the door, quickly locating the heavy latch that would open it and admit them.

"No time," Reno said as he braced himself. "Look alive, kids, 'cause we may not get to do that for a hell of a lot longer…"

"Always think positive," Rude mumbled from behind Elena, as Reno pulled hard on the latch. The golden door groaned in protest, forcing him to use nearly all his weight to yank it open far enough for them to enter the building.

It was dark inside, the only light provided by a few torches spread throughout the entrance hall. Rude pulled the door shut behind them, and the group paused for a moment to give their eyes time to adjust after being out in the sunlight. An ancient, musty smell hung heavy in the air, and Elena saw Reno muffle a sneeze into the sleeve of his jacket. The room was silent, amplifying the sound of her breathing and the nervous pounding of her heart. She concentrated on holding her weapon steady and scanning the room as her vision slowly improved, trying not to think about what might be lurking in the shadows.

Reno finally took a few steps forward, and when Elena followed she was immediately hit by a powerful odor that halted her in mid step. Rude almost bumped into her as she raised her free hand to her mouth, bile rising in her throat. She had always been sensitive to the scent of iron, but had never experienced it as powerfully before. The odor practically slapped her in the face, its presence as physical as another being.

"Reno," she whispered, placing a hand on his shoulder as he inched forward. "I smell blood… A lot of it."

He paused, reaching into his pocket and retrieving a small flashlight. "Yeah… I thought I did, too. Still can't see _shit_, though." Having decided that the need to thoroughly scan the room outweighed the risks, he flipped on the device and began to slowly pan the narrow beam of light across the chamber from right to left. Rude's hulking presence behind her was a comfort, but Elena still felt as if something was about to leap out and attack them at any moment.

Elena's eyes followed his movements, peering across the room as the beam cut through the shadows. There were elaborate carvings in an unknown language decorating the stones that made up the floor and walls, thick cobwebs hanging from the ceiling and adorning almost every surface. There was a thick coating of dust on everything, especially the strange alter that stood in the center of the room. There was a small platform of some kind beside it, and Reno lingered over it for a moment.

"Okay, that's supposed to lead down into the rest of the temple," he said quietly, clearly possessing information Elena hadn't been privy to. "Tseng had the key to activate it, though… So if he's already down there, we'll have to figure out how to reach him without it."

That didn't sound promising, and Elena's stomach churned with dread. What if they couldn't find a way, and Tseng was lost to them forever? Why wasn't there a second key in case of such an emergency? She clenched her jaw, her rising panic mixed with frustration. As the newest member of the division, she was often left out of the loop and given only the most basic information about their assignments. She'd understood at first, but thought by now that she deserved a bit more trust and respect. Once they were safely back in Midgar, she would have to work up the nerve to address the issue with Tseng. Assuming they could find him…

Reno advanced the flashlight past the alter and into the left half of the room, passing over countless cracks in the stone and thousands of scattering insects. Elena felt the tension in the air so strongly that her chest grew tight, and she scolded herself and concentrated on breathing slowly and evenly. Tseng had taught her to do so after an occasion during which she'd hyperventilated, and she tried to channel some of his persistent calm as she remembered the lesson. But all the meditation in the world could not have prepared her for what happened next.

She'd finally begun to question her senses as Reno directed the flashlight toward the last portion of the room without locating anything out of place. It must have been her nerves, and she felt her face grow hot with embarrassment. At least Reno thought he smelled it, too… She _still_ did, even stronger than before. She was about to say something when the narrow beam of light illuminated the shadows of the very last corner.

Her eyes were instantly drawn to a large pool of blood, already seeping into the cracks of the ancient stone as small rivers of red trickled away toward the alter. Time stood still as the light found first a dark shoe, and then a pair of legs, lying within the puddle. Elena screamed as the beam followed the limbs along the bloodied torso of a man in a familiar blue suit, finally settling on his face. They had found their leader.

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((**Author's Notes: **This is the previously unwritten back story to Tseng and Elena's present situation in my AU, so we've traveled back in time to watch those events unfold. At first I thought it would be a one shot, but it kept growing in my head until I realized I needed at _least _a few chapters to do it justice. The fandom needs more Tseng and Elena fics, so I'm just doing my part. ;) Thanks a lot for reading, and for any feedback you'd be so kind to share with me! _~ JenesisX _))


	2. Chapter Two: The Living Dead

**Chapter Two: The Living Dead**

"No!" Elena cried, nearly collapsing until Rude reached out to steady her with strong arms. He gently pushed her back against the wall before rushing forward, leaving her staring in horror as her mind fought to digest the terrible scene before her.

Tseng was tucked so far into the corner that they would have missed him without the aid of the flashlight. He was slumped against the stone wall in a partially seated position, his long legs stretched out in front of him. His chin had dropped forward onto his chest and his eyes were closed, and he almost looked as if he'd simply fallen asleep. There was an enormous pool of blood expanding out from beneath his body, however, and his white shirt was badly torn to reveal a long, diagonal gash that ran from just below his left shoulder nearly to his waist. His left hand rested at the center of the wound, as if he'd tried in vain to stem the bleeding while his life force flowed between his fingers. His PHS sat beside him in the blood, and his gun was still in its holster as if he'd never had the chance to try to defend himself.

"Aww man," Reno said quietly, a slight tremble in his voice. When he turned his back away from the sight and hung his head, Elena saw tears in his blue eyes. They had already begun to fall from her own, sliding down her cheeks as she leaned against the wall for support. A cold sweat broke across her skin as she struggled to take each new breath. The room began to spin, and she dug her nails into the stone until several broke to the quick.

This couldn't be happening. Tseng couldn't be dead. He was far too important to the Turks… and to her. Who would continue her training with such experience and patience? Who would protect her from Reno's taunts when he got carried away? Who else would she ever find that affected her the way he did…? He was her rock, her idol, someone she looked up to and admired more than anyone else in her life. She raised a shaking hand to her forehead, her vision growing dim as she struggled not to faint.

"He's still alive!" she heard Rude's voice call out, his words echoing across the chamber as if from a great distance. They didn't register at first through her haze of grief, and she watched as if separated from her body as Reno spun around and raced to his partner's side.

"He's got a pulse, but it's really weak," Rude continued, kneeling in the blood and carefully looking him over as Reno shone the light upon his body. Elena stared at them as they examined Tseng, frozen in place and trembling from head to foot. He was alive…? Tseng was a strong man, but how could anyone survive with so much of their blood spilled upon the floor?

"He… he's not dead…?" she asked, her voice shaking as she slowly crept forward on unsteady legs.

"No, but he's close," Reno answered, his PHS in hand. "He's hurt really bad. Come hold the light so I can call for an emergency evac!"

Elena obeyed without thinking, still feeling disconnected from her body as her emotions raged, racing from horrified to relieved and back again. He was still alive, but she knew it might not be for much longer. They were still too late… She accepted the flashlight with a shaking hand, the beam dancing unevenly on the floor beside Tseng's body. She couldn't bear to look down at him, biting her lip as the tears continued to fall.

"Hold it steady, I need to see what I'm doing," Rude snapped, though his tone was more tense and focused than unkind. He was in the process of opening the first aid kit he'd brought along, though he already seemed to know its limited contents were woefully inadequate. Elena struggled to concentrate on directing the flashlight over the medical bag, watching as Rude removed a vial of liquid and a syringe.

In the background, Reno was speaking with someone back at Junon Harbor, demanding that a helicopter equipped for medical emergencies be sent to their location immediately. He repeatedly swore at whoever he was speaking to, gruffly informing them of just who it was that needed assistance and how gravely injured he was.

Rude carefully measured out a large amount of a clear liquid into the syringe, then expertly filled a second one with a different medication. When he had them ready, he reached up and nudged Elena's arm so that the flashlight was centered on Tseng's body. She barely noticed, her eyes immediately drawn to the site of his injury for the first time. If she hadn't already been in such a state of shock, she would have turned and fled. The long gash was extremely deep at the center, the skin on either side torn away and hanging loose along the edges. She could see through a thin layer of fat to the muscle beneath, which had also been neatly sliced through by something very sharp. There was so much blood pooled in the area that it was difficult to see much else, but she knew there were things exposed to the air that should not have been. When she saw the white of his rib cage as he took a slow, shallow breath, she finally managed to tear her eyes away. She knew she'd be having nightmares of that moment for the rest of her life.

"Going to try to raise his blood pressure and hope it doesn't start the bleeding again. He's lucky it stopped when it did, because he can't afford to lose any more," Rude said as he carefully slipped Tseng's left arm out of his suit jacket and used the tear in his shirt to slide the garment away from his muscular upper arm. He quickly injected the first medication, then picked up the second as Reno ended his call and came to hover over his partner's shoulder. Elena was gripping the flashlight so hard that her hand soon went numb, trying to keep her eyes focused on the wall behind Tseng.

"And I don't care if I'm supposed to or not, I'm giving him some pain relief," Rude said as he performed the second injection, his voice choked with emotion. As he did so, Tseng's limp arm suddenly tensed, and when Elena dared look at him she saw that his expression had changed. Instead of the blankness of one lost deep in slumber, he was frowning, his features pinched with pain.

"I- I think he felt that," she whispered. Reno moved around behind her to kneel across from Rude, picking up Tseng's blood-soaked right hand and gripping it tightly.

"That's a good sign," Rude said, pausing to study their leader for a moment. "He's still in there fighting…"

"Hey, boss?" Reno asked hopefully, his tearful expression making him appear young and vulnerable. "Are you with us?"

There was no reaction, though Tseng's expression finally relaxed again. Rude shook his head and began digging through the first aid kit with frustration, realizing there was nothing more he could do. The bandages and stitching instruments he had available would do nothing for such a gaping wound, especially when there were obvious internal injuries. Rude held up Tseng's wrist and checked his pulse again as Elena maintained her position, feeling useless and alone. She desperately hoped she was having a nightmare and would soon awaken.

"His pulse is a bit better," Rude said to Reno across Tseng's still form, but when their eyes met Elena saw the unspoken words pass between them. Rude didn't expect Tseng to live, and neither did his partner.

"There's nothing else you can do?!" Elena demanded, her voice a high-pitched squeak that emphasized her youth. "We can't just let him… let him…!"

"If there was anything else I could do, don't you think I would already be doing it?!" Reno shouted, turning toward her with fire in his tearful blue eyes. "You're not the only one who cares about him, you know!"

"Reno," Rude gently scolded, shaking his head and sighing heavily. "That's not going to help anything. Please don't."

"You don't have to be so mean all the time!" Elena yelled back, ignoring Rude's plea as she glared down at Reno.

"I wouldn't _have _to be if you'd just grow up and act like a-" Reno paused in mid-sentence, quickly jerking his head back in Tseng's direction. Reno's eyes widened as he stared down at his boss' face, but Elena didn't notice anything different. Her arm had begun to burn and she could no longer feel her hand, but she continued to aim the flashlight at Tseng's body. No one had told her to stop, and it gave her something easier to worry about.

"What?" she asked, her heart beginning to race all over again as their argument was forgotten.

"I thought I felt him squeeze my hand," Reno said quietly. "It wasn't much, but- Yeah, see! He did it again!"

"Probably just a muscle spasm," Rude said flatly, as if he had already lost hope and wasn't about to let himself be fooled. "I really don't think he's going to…"

He trailed off in surprise as Tseng suddenly frowned again. A moment later, his mouth began to move ever so slightly, as if he was talking in his sleep. Reno leaned in closer, still gripping his hand and studying his face with renewed hope. "What's that, boss?" he asked, tilting his head. "Did you say something?"

There was a long pause, all three of them staring at him expectantly and holding their collective breath. Finally, Tseng mumbled something that was little more than gibberish to her ears. Elena shook her head sadly, unable to avoid letting a few more tears escape and slip down her cheeks.

"He's delirious," she said softly. It had been foolish to think he might actually be regaining consciousness in his condition.

"No, he's _Wutaiin_," Reno said with a snort. "And he's speaking it."

"Oh… right."

Elena blushed fiercely, feeling even stupider than Reno usually made her out to be. It made sense that Tseng would switch to Wutaiin when not fully aware. Though he spoke near flawless Universal and had a larger vocabulary than most, she'd known from his lingering accent that it was not his first language. He seemed to try very hard to minimize it, his pronunciation careful and concise, but there were some words he never quite managed. Being from a small town, she had never met anyone from his country before, wishing yet again that her life hadn't been so sheltered. Perhaps that was part of her early fascination with him... Along with his smooth, calm voice, Elena had immediately found his accent mesmerizing, and she could happily sit through even the most boring staff meetings just to listen to him talk. She would have given anything for him to wake up and speak to them, fearing his voice was something that would soon be relegated to her memory.

Tseng repeated his words a moment later, and though his eyes remained closed his voice was a bit stronger. Rude frowned, closing his eyes in thought for a moment before offering his companions a puzzled shrug.

"I got 'sleep' and something about a light? Sorry, I only know a little."

"More than I do," Reno said. "I learned a few curses and the word for 'foolish' while he was training me, and that's about the extent other than what's on a take-out menu."

"How long for the chopper?" Rude asked, trying to keep busy packing up the contents of the first aid kit. Reno finally reached up with his free hand and relieved Elena of the flashlight, setting it on the ground beside them still aimed in Tseng's direction. She flexed her fingers as the pins and needles raced through her hand, glad for the physical pain to replace the ache in her soul.

"They said half an hour. I told them it better be twenty minutes or I'm going to shoot them all when we get back."

The three lapsed into silence, and Elena began to pace back and force behind her teammates. If she didn't do something, she feared she would go mad. She was helpless to do a thing for Tseng, and all she could think about was how terrified she was of losing him. What had started as a girlish crush had steadily grown deeper and more complicated over the past few months, and she realized with a nervous flutter in her chest that she wasn't sure she knew how to go on without him. She realized he would never feel the same way about her… he simply couldn't. He was older, so serious and detached from the things most people seemed obsessed with… and he was her boss. If he was interested in matters of the heart at all, it would never be with her, no matter how much he seemed to want to keep her with him for whatever his reasons. Though she spent many nights lying in bed wishing it could be different, all that mattered now was that he remain in her life at all.

After what felt like ages, she forced herself to stop pacing, not wanting to look like an overly emotional rookie yet again. Maybe if Reno and Rude knew how she felt for Tseng, they would understand… Then again, she doubted they would take her seriously, mocking her as a stupid young girl with an infatuation for someone she couldn't have. They had known Tseng far longer than she, and had the privilege of socializing with him outside of work on occasion. She knew they cared about him, too. The Turks were a family, a tight-knit group she longed to be a more accepted part of. When one of their own was in trouble, everyone suffered. Reno still looked tearful, something she would have thought him incapable of, and even the stoic Rude was visibly shaken as he tried to keep busy.

She found herself studying Tseng's face again, careful not to look at the horrific wound below. He was such an exotically handsome man, and the fact that he seemed oblivious to it only made him more attractive. She had seen countless women flirt with him, but he never even reacted. He was often the talk of the secretaries in the office, who felt as if they could share their gossip with Elena because while she was a Turk, she was also a woman… a fact that made her one of 'them' as well. Elena knew that Tseng was single and had never been married, yet according to various female office staff he'd also never been spotted after hours with a member of the opposite sex. Elena's face flamed crimson during such discussions, and she always beat a hasty retreat before someone asked the wrong question and began to suspect that she was much more than another casual admirer. If anyone learned how much she cared about him, she knew she was finished. She needed this job, lived for it… and the alternative of having to crawl back home in shame was too awful to contemplate.

As Reno and Rude remained on either side of Tseng, taking turns speaking quietly to him and offering whatever comfort they could, Elena felt very much alone. She'd been a third wheel while they awaited orders in Wutai, a spare tire Reno made clear was not wanted or needed. How she wished Tseng had not ordered her to remain behind, or at least explained why. He always made her feel like an important part of the team, and she loved being taken along with him on assignments. It didn't matter if it was because of her inexperience and continuing training. He treated her as he would a real partner, though he was quick to correct her mistakes and constantly teaching her as they worked. Elena found she almost didn't want her training period to end… Once it did, she'd likely never get to work with him again, and the thought was extremely difficult to accept. He'd move on to the next rookie in need of his attention, and she'd become just another Turk under his command. Now, none of that mattered unless a miracle occurred. She would gladly give up any future time with him if only he survived.

She was so lost in thought that she almost didn't notice when Tseng's eyelids began to flutter beneath his long, dark lashes. She gasped, briefly doubting what she'd seen until he slowly opened his eyes. He blinked, his eyelids so heavy that he visibly struggled to keep them open. Reno grinned and gripped his hand more tightly, and Rude's tense expression changed to amazement.

"Welcome back, sir," Reno said, trying to sound as if nothing was wrong.

Tseng groaned, his face contorting in agony. Rude reached into the first aid kit and prepared another dose of pain medication, and Elena prayed that his specialized training in first aid meant he actually knew what he was doing. Tseng winced as Rude injected him, his dark eyes shifting in the big man's direction as he fought to focus his vision.

"Thank you," he whispered, coherent enough to realize what was happening. He took a shaky breath a moment later, an alarming rattle in his chest audible even from where Elena stood a few feet away. There was blood in his lungs, she realized, though the injection seemed to have already eased some of his pain.

"Try and stay awake, all right?" Rude said with a nod, again checking his pulse. "There's a helicopter on the way. I'm sorry I can't do more for you here…" Elena saw him swallow hard and avert his eyes, overcome by a rare display of emotion.

"What the hell happened to you?" Reno asked with genuine concern, though he was also doing his job. Keeping their injured boss awake might determine whether he lived or lapsed into a permanent coma, but he was also still acting like a Turk. He needed to learn the information while they had the opportunity, in case Tseng lost consciousness again… or worse.

"A man… after the materia," he said, each quiet word a struggle. He was still in so much pain, and having increasing difficulty breathing. His words were slow and difficult to hear, his accent much heavier than usual. "Out of… nowhere… with a sword…"

"From Avalanche?" Reno asked, clutching his boss' hand between both of his. Both he and Rude were covered in Tseng's blood, but neither seemed to care.

"_No_…" He'd spoken the word in Wutaiin, but even Reno seemed to understand. "Unknown… by himself…"

Tseng began to shiver violently, and Reno quickly removed his suit jacket and draped it across his torso. It seemed to help a bit, and he closed his eyes with a quiet moan. Elena was afraid he had passed out again until he struggled to open them a moment later. His smooth complexion was incredibly pale, and his lips were beginning to take on an alarming shade of blue. Just how much blood was on the floor around him, Elena wondered, and how much more could he stand to lose before his body failed? Tseng suddenly looked from Reno to Rude and back again, his eyes darting wildly between them as an expression of worry crossed his face.

"Where is… Elena?"

Her heart skipped a beat as he spoke her name, but she found herself paralyzed and unable to find her voice. Even in his condition, he was thinking of her. She was sure it was only because she was his responsibility, and he had ordered her to remain with Reno and Rude but did not see her in the room. Even so, she was deeply moved.

"Right there, boss," Reno said, pointing toward her with an expression of what might have been mild annoyance. "I kept an eye on her just like you asked me to."

Elena would have glared at him and protested under normal circumstances. How _dare_ he act as if he'd done anything but drink and goof off in Wutai until they'd received Tseng's message! He hadn't even been willing to try and stop Avalanche, and now he was acting as if he'd been a competent leader all along. He _had _managed to get them to the temple in record time, however, so she bit down on her anger and said nothing. Now was not the time.

"Elena…?"

Her heart leaped into her throat when he softly called her name. She had always loved the way he pronounced it, and to hear him ask for her now warmed her inside despite the chill in the ancient chamber. She swallowed nervously, taking a few steps forward until he was able to see her. She forced a smile she didn't feel, fresh tears already burning her eyes.

"Yes, sir?"

"Come… here…"

Reno got to his feet and moved a few feet away to rest against the wall, gesturing for Elena to take his place at Tseng's side. She stood unmoving for long moments, building up her nerve before managing to approach him and kneel down beside him. The tears began to fall as she met his tired eyes, and she was shocked speechless when he struggled to lift his arm toward her. She shyly reached out and took a hold of his hand, alarmed by how cold it was. The rush she normally would have felt at the contact was absent, and for a moment he seemed content and closed his eyes. Rude stood and walked over to Reno, as if he felt uncomfortable intruding upon the moment. Elena used her other hand to gently stroke the back of Tseng's, wondering why he had wanted her at his side.

"You're going to be all right," she told him softly, terrified that she was lying to him. "I'm not done my training yet, and who else would put up with me?"

A weak smile played upon his lips, and he opened his eyes again and gazed up into hers. "I… need to tell you something…" The words were barely audible, but the effect on her was powerful and instant. A jolt of emotion ran through her as her eyes locked with his. She couldn't look away, her heart pounding in her chest as he weakly gripped her hand.

"What is it?" she whispered, her voice trembling. She felt as if he was looking into her soul, frightened that he could see exactly how she felt about him but unable to turn away. It was the same unguarded intensity she'd seen in those dark eyes that sometimes gave her hope that maybe…

"I can't… die without telling you. I…"

"NO! You aren't going to die!" she exclaimed, his words tearing through her rising hope and slamming her back to reality. "You can tell me when you're better!" She yanked her hand out of his and jumped to her feet, choking back a gut wrenching sob and hastily retreating across the room.

"Yeah, _great_!" Reno snarled at her, hurrying back to Tseng's side as he began to mumble to himself in Wutaiin again, his eyes already closed. "Go ahead and upset him, Elena. Real smart!"

She barely heard him as she covered her face with both hands, weeping miserably and shivering from the cold that had spread throughout her body. The thought of what he might have wanted to say was completely drowned out by the fear that he already knew was going to die. That he realized how dire his situation was made it so much more real to her… He was always so strong and steady, and nothing ever seemed to upset him. Now he could barely speak, and fully expected these moments to be his last. As guilty as she felt for running away when he needed her most, and as much as she longed to know what he wanted to say, she simply couldn't bare to hear what might be his last words.

As she continued to cry, her emotions so strong that she was forced to double over and vomit, there was a sudden tremor in the ground beneath her feet. A distant rumble reached her ears, and she felt the wall she leaned against begin to tremble. Reno and Rude felt it too, already looking around in alarm when she turned to face them. Tseng's eyes were still closed, though when a second, much stronger tremor rocked the chamber they fluttered open for just a moment.

"What…?" he asked, confusion written across his face.

"I don't know!" Reno said, bracing himself as the entire room suddenly began to shake. This time, the tremors didn't stop, growing more powerful by the second. Chunks of dirt and stone began to fall from the ceiling, and both he and Rude attempted to shield Tseng from the debris with their bodies. "Feels like an earthquake!"

The rumbling sound grew louder, reminding Elena of the rush of waves breaking toward shore in a storm. She was thrown into the wall behind her, a sharp bolt of pain running down her arm as her shoulder took the brunt of the impact. Reno was knocked onto his rear and struggling to regain his footing, while Rude had thrown his massive body atop Tseng's to protect him.

"We need to get out of here!" Elena shouted, as larger pieces of the ceiling began to crash to the ground. When she looked across the room, she saw that deep cracks had begun to form in the support beams of the ancient structure. "This place is going to collapse!"

"Fuck!" Reno exclaimed, climbing to his feet and looking around with wild eyes. "I think you're right!"

"Moving him might kill him, but we don't have a choice!" Rude shouted over the deafening roar, struggling into a squatting position and carefully slipping his arms beneath Tseng's head and legs. "I've got him… Go!"

Elena hesitated for a moment, afraid Rude would not be able to make it out while carrying Tseng. Rude was a very large, solid man, but Tseng was tall and well-built, dead weight in his condition. She watched as Rude struggled to his feet with their boss in his arms, a large chunk of ceiling just narrowly missing Reno as they began to cross the room.

"Run!" Reno shouted at her, and Elena finally turned and raced for the door. She could only pray that the others were right behind her as she pulled it open and stumbled outside into the light.

* * *

((**Author's Notes: **I'm enjoying writing this entirely too much… It was actually even fun to go back and research the overlapping chapters of Irony of Fate after so long. I had to be sure to describe things the same way, get the timing right between Avalanche arriving, finding Tseng, and descending into the Temple and the Turks showing up (still clueless our rebels were ever there ;), checking to see where Tseng was in the room, etc. Avalanche is in the basement as the temple starts coming down, having just made Jenova retreat, and they have Cloud and Seph out cold, hehe. Details, details. I'm enjoying going 'back in time' as it were and tying in all these things. It's a chance to work with my original AU plotline again, and also with things I already wrote that happen in the future. Entirely too much fun, and I also have a strong emotional attachment to this story. Anyway… Thanks! There will be another update before long. _~ JenesisX _))


	3. Chapter Three: Bad News

**Chapter Three: Bad News**

Reno paced back and forth along the corridor of the medical center in Junon Harbor, unable to relax even though his legs and feet were killing him. Rude was seated nearby, exhausted and covered in blood. Only a small amount was his own, from a small cut on his forehead caused by a falling rock when the temple began to collapse. Reno, too, had blood dried into his clothing, though he'd finally had a chance to wash it from his hands and arms. They could have gone back to their rooms on the base to change, but neither dared leave until they could at least speak with the surgeon.

Tseng had survived being carried outside and flown by helicopter to Junon Harbor's highly advanced medical center, receiving blood en route that had kept him alive. He regained consciousness several times, sometimes speaking in Wutaiin, and other times a mix of both it and Universal. He was confused and in a great deal of pain, and as soon as they'd arrived at the base the head doctor had ordered him sedated and taken into surgery. Reno had practically needed to pry his and Elena's hands apart, leading her away and finally convincing her to go to the ladies' room to clean herself up a bit. The moment Tseng had come out of surgery hours later and been placed into a private room in the Intensive Care Unit, she'd claimed the chair beside his bed and hadn't moved since.

"She's taking it really hard," Rude commented, as if reading Reno's thoughts. He stopped pacing for a moment and peered through the glass wall that separated Tseng's room from the hallway, allowing the staff to keep a close eye on him. Elena was seated stiffly in the chair beside him, her hands clasped in her lap, staring at Tseng as if willing him to awaken.

"I guess this is new to her," Reno said with a shrug, though he had a sneaking suspicion it was much more than that. "I remember the first time I saw someone get shot and had to give them first aid… It really freaked me out, and this is way worse."

"Yeah…" Rude said, though he sounded unconvinced. "She's been working with him a lot, though, so I think it's more personal than that."

"Mmm…"

"I wish someone would let us know how he is," Rude continued when Reno renewed his pacing, sighing with frustration. "They just wheeled him in there and left after hooking him up to all that shit."

"Would be nice," Reno grumped, wishing more than anything that he could have a cigarette. Hospitals and their stupid rules… "It's good to know he made it through surgery, at least. He's one tough mother fucker."

"Damn right," Rude agreed with a slight smile. "With a wound like that… I never expected him to live long enough to get back here."

"Me neither. Gods, if he had died, I'd…"

"You'd be our leader right now?"

"Yeah…" Reno finally came and sat beside Rude, tiredly rubbing his eyes. "I'm not ready for that. Fuck, I may never be. Too much pressure… But aside from that, Tseng's a good guy, and he's done so much for me. I just couldn't…"

He paused as tears filled his eyes, and Rude reached out and clapped him supportively on the back. "It's all right, man. He's a fighter. I'm sure he'll be okay."

"He better be…" Reno smiled his gratitude to his best friend, thankful he didn't have to wait and worry by himself. Rude closed his eyes and leaned back in his chair, his sunglasses perched atop his bald head. Reno watched him for a moment and yawned, wishing their hellish day was over and everything was back to normal.

The sound of a door opening down the hallway and rapid footsteps approaching snapped Reno from his thoughts, and when he saw the surgeon who had operated on Tseng approaching he bolted to his feet. Rude did the same, standing beside his partner with his arms folded protectively across his chest as if preparing for news he didn't want to hear. Elena looked up at that moment and noticed the gathering in the hallway, glancing reluctantly at Tseng before rising and hurrying from the room to join them.

Reno felt his stress level decrease ever so slightly when the doctor smiled, holding out his hand to shake with each of them. "Is he going to make it?" he demanded immediately, not caring if he was being rude or not. Elena fidgeted at his side, wringing her hands in front of her and staring at the doctor expectantly.

"He has a decent chance. You Turks… always getting yourselves so torn up," the doctor said with a bemused shake of his head, appearing unoffended by his attitude. Reno noted the name "C. Welsh" embroidered on his white jacket, a long string of abbreviations for the titles he held etched beneath. He had already changed out of his surgical garb, though he still wore a blue hairnet and those weird paper shoe covers. "Getting him here and through surgery was the most dangerous part, but he certainly isn't out of the woods yet. His is a very serious injury, and quite frankly I can't believe he survived that long without treatment. I've never seen anything quite like it."

"Is he... going to live?" Elena nearly whispered, close to tears again as she nervously rephrased Reno's question as if hoping to receive a more favorable answer. He tried not to roll his eyes, wishing she'd act more like a Turk in front of the base's chief doctor. Then again, he'd been fighting not to cry ever since they found Tseng, so he really couldn't scold her without feeling like a complete asshole.

There was amazement in the aging doctor's gray-blue eyes as he peered down at the chart he held through a pair of thick glasses. "I believe so, though his injuries are extensive. He lost a tremendous amount of blood, and received three pints during surgery in addition to what he was already given on the helicopter. If he'd lost any more his internal organs would have begun to shut down. The wound required a tremendous number of stitches and staples to close, both internally and externally, and he will have a good bit of scarring. He has damage to his left lung which caused it to partially collapse, a number of badly broken ribs, a lacerated spleen, and minor damage to his intestinal tract. Repairing that area was complicated by scar tissue from the bullet wound he received a few years ago… I performed that operation, too, actually. His sternum is cracked, and he's extremely lucky there was no damage to his heart. He's not going to _feel _lucky for a long time, though."

Reno cringed as he listened to the report, horrified by the number of serious injuries Tseng had suffered but relieved that he'd somehow survived. Guns may have been considered more modern and lethal these days, but the damage caused by one good sword strike was ghastly. Whoever had done it must have been wielding a very powerful weapon, and he knew how to use it with deadly precision. "So his chances…?" Reno asked, wanting a more definitive answer than 'decent.' He knew doctors often attempted to bullshit you with positive attitudes and vague replies, but he wanted to hear the truth no matter how bad it might be.

"Difficult to say for sure this early on," Dr. Welsh said with an apologetic frown, as if it was the question he always dreaded answering the most. "It depends on a number of factors."

"Such as…?" Rude pressed when the doctor paused again. Reno was grateful to him, as he was beginning to lose his patience due to worry and fatigue. Elena's endless sniffling was not helping.

"We don't know how much damage the blood loss might have caused to his system, for one," Dr. Welsh continued, his calm voice and open expression reminding Reno of a kindly uncle. "The fact that he was awake and talking is a good sign that he doesn't have any brain damage, but his other organs could still fail. There's also a large chance of infection because of how open the wound was in an unsanitary environment. I have him on a steady drip of fluids and antibiotics, as well as medication for pain and to help clear the fluid from his lungs. Pneumonia is always a serious risk in chest trauma cases, especially when he's going to remain bedridden for so long. He's breathing on his own so far, though, which is great. He's heavily sedated and I'm going to keep him that way for at least a few days before considering whether or not to let him wake up. There's no reason for him to suffer needlessly, and if he were to panic and move about too much the entire thing could open up again. All we can do now is support his body and hope it can heal the damage over time."

"Just because President Shin-ra is going to ask me the second he finds out Tseng made it through surgery, any estimate on when he can return to duty?" Reno knew how stupid an inquiry it was after what they'd just been told, but he still had to do his job or he'd hear about it.

"Oh… maybe never," Dr. Welsh said to his surprise, and Reno heard Elena gasp in horror beside him. "It's entirely possible that he'll never recover anything close to his previous strength and stamina, no matter what we do. If he were younger, his chances would be somewhat improved, but… I'd be surprised if he can ever be medically cleared to return to active duty, even if he gets to the point where he feels able."

"He's not going to like that," Rude said softly, glancing through the glass at Tseng's prone form with sorrow in his dark eyes. "This job is his whole life."

"Fuck," Reno swore, finally feeling bad enough for Elena to reach out and put his arm around her shoulders. "Well… one step at a time, eh?"

"That would be the best attitude to take with such a lengthy recovery," Dr. Welsh said with a nod. "Every improvement should be seen as a victory, and just the fact that he's still here for us to talk about is amazing. Which reminds me… I couldn't find any contact information for next of kin or other relatives in his file. Are you his wife, ma'am?"

Reno would have laughed if the situation wasn't so serious. Elena's mouth dropped open as the doctor looked her way, her face flushing a deep crimson. "No!" she exclaimed, her blue eyes wide with surprise. "He's… just my boss."

"Aah, I'm sorry," the doctor chuckled. "Do any of you know someone we could call? It would be best for him to have someone he knows with him, especially when he first wakes up. And he's going to need a lot of assistance and after care if he gets to the point where we can release him."

Reno frowned and shook his head, what little he knew of Tseng's past quickly running through his head. He was pretty sure his parents were deceased, and he'd never mentioned any siblings or other relatives. "_We're_ his family," he said firmly. "We'll figure something out…"

"All right, then. There will be a nurse assigned to him at all times, so just press the red button beside his bed if you need anything. You can probably leave for now, since he's not going to be waking up yet. Your friend is in good hands here, and you all look like you could use a hot shower and a good meal."

Reno looked down at himself, his white shirt almost entirely stained red and his pants covered with a crust of dried blood. Rude's clothing was even worse, since he'd actually carried Tseng out of the temple in his arms. "Yeah… But unfortunately, we have to meet the President's chopper when it lands and give him a full report first."

"Well, here's my card," Dr. Welsh said, handing one to each of them, along with a spare to Reno. "Please tell President Shin-ra to call me at any time, and that goes for you all as well. Best of luck to you!"

"Thanks, man… er, Doctor," Reno said, gratefully shaking his hand. Rude followed suit, but Elena seemed to be in shock again, staring tearfully toward Tseng's room as if she was unaware the conversation had ended. Dr. Welsh hurried down the corridor and through the door, no doubt to check on other patients or help save another life. Or maybe he just had to pee.

Reno sighed heavily, pulling a trembling Elena with him to the bank of chairs along the wall and forcing her to sit. She blinked up at him as if finally snapping out of her haze, her eyes swollen and bloodshot. She looked terrible, and he had a feeling he didn't look much better. Rude sat beside her and watched her with concern, visibly worried about her state of mind. Reno knew he'd always been fond of Elena, though he really didn't understand why. She was attractive in that cute school girl kind of way, sure, but she was also naïve and annoying. Definitely not his type, but to each their own…

"Okay," Reno said, standing before his companions as tall as he could manage and trying to look confident. "Looks like I'm going to be acting head of the department for a little while. Lucky us. Um… So Rufus will be landing in about half an hour, and we get to go kiss his ass and fill him in on what's been going on while he sat and ate bonbons in his penthouse. I propose that we all give him the bloodiest hug we can manage for his nice, white suit." No one even smiled at his attempt to lighten the mood, and Reno groaned inwardly. This was going to be harder than he thought.

"We can't just leave him alone like this," Elena said quietly, panic in her voice as her eyes remained fixed on the room across the hallway. "I'm not going."

"He's hardly alone here, Elena," Reno said, shaking his head. "Unfortunately, there is a lot of serious shit going down right now, and none of it's gonna stop because of this."

"But that's… that's _wrong_! I'm not going to abandon him when he's so sick. You just said it yourself that we're his family!"

"I don't like the idea either, all right?! But I've got my orders, and now you've got y-"

"Do _all _of us really need to go to meet Rufus, though?" Rude interrupted, sensing the beginning of another shouting match between his companions. "The doctor _did_ suggest that someone he knows should be here with him…"

"Yeah, but I… God dammit!"

Reno turned his back and fumed, overwhelmed by his sudden role and frustrated that everyone was already second guessing him. How the hell did Tseng do it? He made it look so damn easy. He spoke, and everyone instantly fell in line… Reno had never _once_ heard him raise his voice. Even _he_ never dared question Tseng, and Reno had always had a problem with authority and a natural desire to rebel. He closed his eyes and tried to calm himself, taking a deep breath and attempting to think more clearly.

He had to leave and meet Rufus despite the late hour, that was a fact. And because he was likely going to be sent right back out on assignment to track down either Avalanche or the man who'd attacked Tseng and taken the Black Materia, he'd also need a reliable partner. He and Rude had been paired together for many years, and Elena was close to hysterical and could think of nothing but their wounded boss. Besides, she and Reno didn't get along very well, and she was still largely inexperienced and unsure of herself. The doctor _had _suggested that someone remain with Tseng, and he could easily tell Rufus it had been required if he said anything… He'd feel better if someone stayed behind to keep him updated, too. Though he didn't want Elena to think he had given in to her desires just to make her happy, he knew it really _was_ the wisest course of action. Maybe Rude should have been in charge… But a good leader had to swallow their pride sometimes in order to make the best decision, he reminded himself, something Tseng once told him.

Reno finally turned around to face them again, his eyes zeroing in on Elena. "All right. This is what we're doing. Elena, I'm ordering you to stay at Tseng's bedside as his bodyguard in case the guy who hurt him comes back." When she began to open her mouth to protest how unlikely that was, he winked in an exaggerated manner, and a slow smile spread across her face. "I _will_, however, replace you with someone else from Midgar if you can't keep your shit together and stop crying and freaking out. You're still a Turk on assignment, and he doesn't need the stress if he's aware of what's going on at all. Can you handle that or not?"

"Yes, sir," Elena said firmly, getting to her feet and standing up straight after quickly wiping her eyes on the sleeve of her blazer. "It won't be a problem."

"Good. I'll check in with you after our meeting, but I want hourly updates on his condition. You can text me by PHS."

Elena nodded, and Reno tried not to see the pleased smile on Rude's face. Reno needed to assert himself as their leader, but he wasn't a heartless bastard, after all. He cared for Tseng almost like an older brother, his mentor who had rescued him from a dead end life and given him a chance to be someone. It killed him that he had to leave, but he knew that Elena would keep a close watch over him. It would also allow her a much needed break from action after everything she'd just been through, and hopefully give her a chance to calm down so she could get back to her normal assignments. Reno may not have seen whatever hidden potential Tseng did in the young recruit, but many people had once said the same thing about him. In that moment, he hoped his stoic boss would have been proud of him.

"All right, Rude," Reno said, stifling a yawn as his partner stood and stretched his long limbs. "Let's move out." He took one last look through the glass as they walked away, hoping it would not be the last time he saw Tseng alive.

* * *

((**Author's Notes**: Serious Reno is serious. …what? Oh right. Hi. I thought I'd give Reno a chance to be leader and act professional before he steps out of the main part of the fic. Gods, Reno leading the Turks… Tseng _better _live and be able to get back to work! It sounds pretty bad, though… poor guy. At least he has a nice doctor, and good friends who are pulling for him. I hope you're enjoying this story so far and will spare a moment to leave a review and let me know what you think. Thank you very much! ~ _JenesisX_ ))


	4. Chapter Four: Keeping Vigil

**Chapter Four: Keeping Vigil**

Midnight had long since passed, the lights of the medical center dimmed to allows its residents to sleep more easily. It could have been an entire different world from the one outside its white sterile walls, a strange universe of humming and beeping machinery and the squeak of rubber shoes echoing down the hallway. The odor of disinfectant and sickness was heavy in the air, the temperature uncomfortably warm. Hushed voices spoke the language of medicine, distant sobs and cries of pain haunting the corridors.

Elena glanced at the clock on the wall yet again, so numb that she wasn't tired even though she'd been awake for almost twenty-four hours. Her entire body ached, her back and neck stiff from remaining seated in the same position for so many hours. Her head pounded and her stomach growled with hunger, but she hardly noticed. Her eyes burned, swollen from crying and lack of sleep, but they remained open and focused on the man resting in the bed before her.

Tseng was lying flat on his back, his eyes closed and his expression peaceful. He was so heavily sedated that he hadn't moved a muscle, and Elena constantly watched the monitors attached to his body to reassure herself that he was alive. His blood pressure was still a bit low, but his heartbeat was strong as it skipped across the screen. A clear tube of oxygen was secured beneath his nose, though he was otherwise breathing unassisted. He was covered to just beneath his chin by several thick blankets, only his left arm exposed and resting along his side with multiple intravenous lines running into his wrist and the crook of his elbow. She knew from her basic first aid training that extreme blood loss made one's body temperature drop, remembering the way he'd shivered throughout the helicopter ride to the base. She was uncomfortably warm, a thin film of sweat coating her skin, but somehow Tseng still looked cold. His complexion remained pale, though his color had improved after surgery. She desperately wished he would awaken, but knew that it was best for him to remain unconscious. He'd been in so much pain as she held his hand during the flight that it was a relief to see it finally gone from his features.

Her tired mind raced endlessly as she maintained her position, and there was little to distract her from her troubled thoughts. She still couldn't believe what had happened, wracked with guilt and self doubt. Why didn't she insist on going with him, even if it would have done little good? Why had he felt the need to continue on to the temple alone? Was it strictly his decision, or was he ordered to do so? She had a feeling the latter was the case, gritting her teeth with rising anger at Rufus Shin-ra. She had always thought he was selfish and uncaring about his employees, but that was nothing unlike countless other wealthy employers. Now, she began to doubt her decision to work for him, wondering if there was more truth to the things Avalanche and other detractors claimed about the company than she first suspected. Rufus hadn't even come by to check on his frequent personal body guard and department head, despite the fact that he'd landed at the base many hours before. Reno had just called to confirm that fact, and to inform her that he and Rude were already on their way to another assignment… though he did not tell her where they'd been sent or why.

She bit her lip as she watched Tseng sleep, having managed to stop crying for the most part once Reno had given her the order to remain at his side and act professional. She was confused by the way he'd been behaving toward her, but grateful that she hadn't been forced to leave. No one should be alone when they were so gravely wounded, whether they were awake or not, and she wouldn't have followed such orders even if it put her job in jeopardy. She knew Reno was under a lot of stress, and he obviously cared about and admired Tseng a great deal. Was he simply trying to get Elena out of his way by having her stay behind, or did he really care about her feelings? And if so, did he suspect…? Gods, she hoped not, because if he did she had no doubt he would soon run his mouth to anyone who would listen just to embarrass her. He had never wanted her to be part of their team, and she feared her display of emotion that day was just the chance he'd been waiting for to do something about it.

There was so much on her mind that Elena feared she would go mad, but her most pressing concern was Tseng. She'd known his injuries were severe the moment they found him, but Dr. Welsh's report had made it shockingly real in painful detail. Her heart bled for him, wishing she could do something to stop his pain and make his recovery easier. The thought that he may never be able to return to duty was unbearable. She knew it would devastate him… and her. She had never intended to become so attached to him, but by the time she realized how much she'd come to care for Tseng, it was far too late. How could she go on as a Turk without him?

Tears burned her eyes, and she cursed herself for being so weak. She was only proving everything Reno and so many others had said about her. She was too emotional and immature to be a Turk, too prone to think with her heart instead of her head. Maybe her family had been right… Maybe moving to Midgar with nothing but ambitious dreams for the future was the stupidest thing she'd ever done. Was she already crumbling after barely a year, not even through the final stage of her training period? If she couldn't make it as a Turk, what else could she do? Returning to her isolated little hometown and a predictable dreary future was the last thing she wanted. She'd grown to love the intimidating big city and the independence it had given her for the first time in her life. And she'd grown to love Tseng.

Maybe it was inevitable… She was a lonely, nervous young woman on a frightening journey, and he was an older, steadying influence who helped build her confidence as she trained under him. There was an almost contagious calm about him, something that soothed her nerves and helped her focus, performing better than she'd ever dreamed and quickly earning her place among the highest ranking Turks. Yet at the same time, his physical attractiveness and the cool air of mystery that surrounded him awakened something within her that she'd never felt before. She never would have thought he was her type before she laid eyes on him, but the chemistry was instant and intoxicating. They were complete opposites at first glance, but somehow she knew she'd found a kindred soul. She both hoped and dreaded that he felt it too, but Tseng was notoriously private and hid his emotions well. Yet sometimes when he met her eyes and smiled ever so slightly, her heart fluttered with possibility. She longed to know the man beneath his carefully protected image, but he rarely dropped his guard and she didn't know how to cross it.

When he took her hand to help her up a steep hill, did he notice the electricity that passed between them? Did he feel it in his toes when their eyes met across his desk? In the quiet moments that passed between them as they traveled, did he long to say those forbidden words, or was she only imagining it when she caught him watching her with a distant look in his eyes? She had to be… If he had time for a woman in his life, it would never be her. She was too young and foolish, and Shin-ra had a well-known and strictly enforced policy discouraging dating within the same department and forbidding a direct supervisor to become involved with an underling. As one of the highest ranking and most visible people in the entire company, it most definitely applied to him. Even if he had feelings for her, he would never risk his job because of it. He was a career man… Being a Turk was who he was. He was so serious and focused that he seemed above things like romance, but beneath his professional exterior there was a buried intensity she longed to expose.

She cursed herself for daring to think such things while he laid before her so desperately wounded. All she should care about was that he get well again and be able to return to doing what he loved. Her own feelings had no place in the smothering room, but no matter how hard she tried to dismiss them they overwhelmed her again the moment she looked down at his handsome face. What had he wanted to tell her back in the temple? Gods she wished she had let him speak instead of acting so childish…

_He was probably just trying to give you your next orders, stupid._

She rose to her feet and stretched, absently wandering about the small room and trying to ease her mind as well as her aching body. She wished she had something to read, though she had a feeling she'd never have been able to concentrate anyway. She quickly finished looking over the various signs and notices posted along the wall for at least the tenth time, about to return to the uncomfortable chair when her eyes settled on the chart neatly tucked into a pouch at the foot of Tseng's bed. She knew she shouldn't, but curiosity quickly got the best of her. Her heart began to race as she looked around and found the corridor outside his room vacant. With a mixture of excitement and guilt, she reached out and picked up the chart, glancing down at it and quickly scanning the information.

Tseng's name was written at the top, followed by a Wutaiin surname she'd never seen before and had no hope of ever being able to pronounce. It was so strange to see his full name… Turks rarely used them in order to protect their true identities and that of their families, and many went by nicknames the way Rude did. She _still_ didn't know his real name. Her eyes continued down the list of information and paused over Tseng's date of birth. She committed it to memory, then easily performed the necessary math in her head. Even though he appeared youthful, she'd known he had to be a good bit older than she was based on his rank and how long he'd been a Turk. Now, she learned that her vague estimate of somewhere in his mid to late thirties had been accurate. Fourteen years wasn't an unheard of age difference, was it? Gods, why was she even _thinking_ that way? Disgusted with her foolish thoughts and the invasion of his privacy, she quickly replaced the chart without reading any further and slumped back into her chair with a heavy sigh. The waiting and worrying was torture, but she was glad to suffer it because it meant that Tseng was still alive. She couldn't even imagine having to attend his funeral…

Elena was relieved for the distraction when the hospital's head nurse entered the room a short time later. She'd been specially assigned to Tseng and stopped by every hour on the dot to check his vital signs and intravenous medications, and to administer additional pain medication when his expression began to darken. Elena forced a weak smile, glad to have someone so competent and compassionate looking after him. They hadn't spoken much during her previous rounds, but she knew the woman's name was Becky. She was short and heavyset with dark skin and thick curly hair, with a kind and open face that made her seem motherly. She was probably just about the same age as Elena's own mother, though she was far more energetic and cheerful. The nurse often hummed as she worked, and she could have easily stepped off the set of a weekly medical drama.

"You still here, honey?" she asked with a smile, shaking her head as she began checking that everything was still as it should be.

"Yeah… Those are my orders," Elena replied, cringing at how cold she sounded. "I mean, I would have stayed anyway, but…" Her face grew hot and she quickly looked down into her lap, wondering how it was that she always managed to make a fool of herself the second she opened her mouth.

"But that's your official excuse?" Becky said, glancing at her with a knowing grin. Elena's stomach came alive with butterflies, and she swallowed nervously before managing a quiet reply.

"I guess you could say that…"

"His vital signs are good, and his blood pressure's come up a bit," Becky said, picking up his chart and writing down the information as she spoke. "Your boss is a very lucky man… and tough as nails, too."

Elena smiled, pride washing over her. "That he is. We thought for sure we were going to lose him back there…"

Becky looked at her with sympathy, replacing the chart and pulling the blankets down to Tseng's waist. He didn't react, still deep in a drug induced coma. He was wrapped in thick white bandaging from just beneath his arms nearly to his waist, and a small amount of blood had already seeped through to color them along the diagonal path of his wound. Elena was alarmed when she saw it, about to say something when the nurse noticed her worried expression and offered a reassuring smile.

"Some light bleeding is expected, since Dr. Welsh couldn't close the wound entirely," she said, satisfied and covering him up again, though this time she left both of his arms free and tucked the blankets beneath them. "I'll change the bandages in the morning, but for now it's best to leave him be. His color's good, and he doesn't seem to be in too much pain right now. You let me know if he starts looking uncomfortable again, though, all right? Some nurses like patients who are knocked out like this because they don't complain, but it always worries me more because they can't tell us when something's wrong."

"Okay… I'll make sure I do." Elena wished she could express her appreciation to the kind woman, but she felt so lost and empty inside that she couldn't muster the energy. All she could do was sit with her hands clasped in her lap and try to hold back the tears, staring at his prone form and wishing there was more she could do. Becky seemed about to leave, but after pausing a moment she instead walked around the foot of the bed and came to stand beside Elena's chair. She felt a warm, gentle hand come to rest on her shoulder, glancing up with surprise.

"I can see how important he is to you," the nurse said quietly, causing Elena's mouth to drop open in alarm. "It's okay, hon, I'm not gonna tell anyone. I'm just glad he has someone willing to stay with him, since there was no family for us to call." Becky's brown eyes shone with understanding, and she squeezed Elena's shoulder supportively.

"Thank you," Elena nearly whispered, her face hot with embarrassment as she squirmed in her chair. "We've… worked together a lot since I joined the Turks. He's a great teacher, and a good man." She hoped her explanation sounded reasonable, and it _was_ true after all. "I just want him to get better…"

Elena looked back at Tseng with tears in her eyes, surprised when the nurse reached down and took a hold of his wrist. Elena thought she was checking his pulse again, until Becky gently extended his arm in her direction. Elena looked up at her questioningly, unsure of what she was doing.

"Even when patients are in a coma or kept heavily sedated, there's evidence that they can recognize someone they know and are comforted by their presence," she said with a smile. "Go ahead and take his hand, and try to talk to him a bit. He won't remember it when he wakes up, but I firmly believe it helps the healing process. And it might make _you _feel better, too."

A tear fell from Elena's eye as she awkwardly reached out to accept his hand, embarrassed but feeling unable to refuse. Besides, if it might help Tseng's recovery in even a small way, she was more than willing to be there for him. She didn't want him to think he'd been abandoned and that no one cared. Becky quietly moved away and exited the room, leaving her alone again with her feelings. Well, she wasn't _really_ alone…

Elena shyly adjusted her hold on Tseng's hand, letting it rest against the bed with hers wrapped around it. His hand remained cold, and she gripped it more tightly in hopes of warming him. His skin was soft and smooth, her hand appearing oddly small against his much larger one. She studied his long, graceful fingers and well-trimmed nails, hypnotized by the way her hand looked joined with his. It sent a nervous flutter racing from her chest to her stomach, her entire body warmed by the sight. How could such a simple gesture make her react so strongly? He wasn't even awake to share it…

As she stared at their hands and tried to channel positive thoughts through the contact, she noticed that his thumb moved ever so slightly. She felt it brush against the back of her hand, the movement so soft and imperceptible that at first she thought she'd imagined it. But a moment later, his limp fingers flexed and slowly curled around the side of her palm. She gasped in surprised and looked up at his face, afraid he was in pain again or about to wake up when he shouldn't. Her eyes widened as he took a deep breath and seemed to sigh contently, the faintest ghost of a smile on his lips.

Was it mere coincidence, or did he really know she was there? Did he simply realize someone was at his side, and did he know it was her…? She couldn't stop the tears from falling as her eyes returned to their hands, his grip showing no signs of loosening. Her confused emotions nearly overwhelmed her, and she couldn't help but let herself cry to release some of the tension. She was exhausted both mentally and physically, near the end of her rope and aching from head to foot. But with his sudden hold on her hand, Elena felt confident that he needed her, and nothing was going to make her leave his side.

* * *

((**Author's Notes: **Nurse Becky is lovingly dedicated to my good friend, **Bexteron** (though she only shares her name, not her appearance or profession). Sometimes I go on a tear with something and just keep writing, which is what's been happening here. This story is just so meaningful and important to me, and it's existed in my head for a long time. I'm really glad to see so many people reading it, but I'd be thrilled if you could take a sec to let me know what you think, and maybe choose to favorite and follow to help me get the word out. If you know any other fans of this pairing, please let them know about my fic, because when I searched it was next to impossible to find any good ones for them. If you have any you like and could recommend to me in PM, I'd also appreciate that! Thanks again! ~ _JenesisX_ ))


	5. Chapter Five: Signs of Life

**Chapter Five: Signs of Life**

The next three days passed in a haze of emotion, the hours racing past while others dragged on endlessly. Elena was frightened and alone, continuing her vigil at Tseng's bedside as the rest of the Planet went on without her. She gazed moodily out the window, having just spoken to Reno via PHS. He was glad to hear that Tseng's condition remained stable, but there was a tension in his voice she was not used to hearing. She knew it had something to do with the reason Tseng had gone ahead to the Temple of the Ancients, but to her frustration she was left in the dark. Reno gave nothing away, and Tseng remained in a deep sleep. It only made her longing to look into his eyes and hear his voice again more painful. After almost a year of relying on him so heavily, Elena was lost.

Dr. Welsh had started to sound more optimistic about his opinion that Tseng would survive his wounds as each day passed, wearing a wide smile and shaking his head in amazement during his last visit the previous evening. He still could not figure out how Tseng managed to survive so long before he was found and evacuated, but was clearly pleased nonetheless. Nurses came and went at all hours, mostly the familiar Becky but also a number of others when she was off duty, caring for him with skilled efficiency as he remained in a deep sleep. Elena envied them, since they could actually _do _something for him while his body fought to heal the damage. All she could do was remain at his bedside, sometimes working up the nerve to take his hand, praying with all her heart that he would be all right.

Elena sighed and turned away from the window, making her way back to the chair that often felt more like a prison. She sat down and gazed at Tseng's face, overcome with her feelings for him once again. He looked so peaceful, yet so frail and helpless… It felt almost invasive to watch him sleep, able to see past his professional image to the human vulnerability he masterfully hid from the world. He still had not moved or shown any signs of awakening, though when his pain level began to increase he would frown, his features tightening until she summoned a nurse to increase his medication. It was the least she could do for him… other than remaining by his side and hoping he somehow knew he was not alone.

She'd left the room for only brief moments since the day they'd arrived, to take a quick shower and change clothes, or to reluctantly force herself to eat something in the cafeteria. Nurse Becky had finally tired of watching her trying to sleep in the uncomfortable chair at his bedside, quietly wheeling in a cot and tucking it into the far corner of the room with a wink. Elena slept in brief, fitful intervals, kept awake by the sounds of the hospital and her irrational fear that Tseng might fade away the moment she closed her eyes. She was exhausted, living in a fog of worry and despair, but she never once considered leaving. She was his partner, and she belonged at his side.

_You've got to keep fighting… We all need you. And… I need you…_

She began to awkwardly reach for his hand, but quickly yanked it back when Nurse Becky and Dr. Welsh appeared in the doorway. She blushed, climbing to her feet and trying to hold herself tall. She was still a Turk on assignment, after all, in uniform and representing Tseng's loyal department members. She was going to do her job the best she could, hoping she would have made him proud.

"Good morning," the doctor said cheerfully, his thick gray hair standing up in spots as if he'd just removed a hairnet. He smiled, approaching Tseng's bedside and picking up his chart. Becky went about her usual routine of checking the monitors and intravenous medications, fondly patting Elena on the shoulder as she passed by. The kindly nurse had been taking care of _her_ as well as her actual patient, looking after her and reminding her of her own needs when she was too distracted to care.

"Good morning, doctor," Elena replied, her voice hoarse from stress and lack of sleep.

"Well, your boss has really exceeded all of my expectations so far," he said, shaking his head at the encouraging data on the chart. "I think it might be time to reduce his sedation and see if he wakes up for us. I don't like to keep people down for longer than needed, so I'd like to see how he does. We'll keep his pain medication high, and I'm going to give him something for anxiety to help keep him calm, but he ought to come to within the next few hours. It may not be completely or for very long, but we'll see."

Becky was removing a nearly empty bag of fluid from the IV stand and replacing it was a new one, expertly attaching it to the main line than ran into Tseng's left arm and humming to herself as she worked. Elena nodded nervously, swallowing hard as she looked down at Tseng. As much as she wanted him to awaken, she also didn't want him to suffer. She felt a surge of protectiveness toward him, wishing she could take him away from this place and all of the pain he had to endure.

"Keep in mind that when he wakes up, he's likely to be confused and not entirely aware of what's going on," Dr. Welsh continued, signing off on the chart and replacing it at the foot of the bed. "He'll probably only be awake for short periods of time, since he's quite weak and on a lot of medication, but that's good because he needs to rest. If you could stay with him as much as possible today until we see what happens, that would be wonderful."

"Of course I will," Elena said firmly, her stomach alive with butterflies.

"Doctor, this poor girl has barely left to use the bathroom," Becky said with a chuckle, gathering her things and starting to leave the room. "Make sure you ring for me if he seems like he's waking up, honey."

The nurse left to continue on her rounds, and Dr. Welsh gently adjusted the blankets covering his patient. Elena could tell he cared about Tseng as more than just a paycheck or another statistic, something that was painfully rare in his profession. She realized how lucky they were that he was the base's head doctor and had opted to personally manage Tseng's care, and she would have easily trusted him with her own life as well.

"All right, then," he said, reaching out to shake her hand. He gripped it tightly for a moment before letting go, meeting her eyes with a supportive smile. "And try not to worry so much, or you're going to end up sick in bed yourself."

She managed a weak smile of gratitude as he left the room, taking a deep breath and returning to her chair. After staring down at Tseng for long moments, she reached out with a trembling hand and took a hold of his. It was warmer now, and his long fingers and smooth skin had become familiar and comforting. Once he was awake, would she ever know the feeling of his hand in hers again? She was filled with a pang of grief when she realized the answer was no, but quickly scolded herself for the lapse of discipline. What really mattered was that he remained strong and continued to heal.

_xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx_

Elena stood staring out the room's single window once again, rain pouring down from a blanket of thick dark clouds. As she followed the beads of water racing down the glass, she felt as sad and hopeless as the weather outside. She shivered, her eyes drawn to a bolt of lightning as it lit up the blackened sky. She struggled hard to hold back her tears, watching as the Planet cried for her.

Almost five hours has passed since Dr. Welsh reduced Tseng's sedation, but he still had not awakened. Every so often, there was a whisper of an expression on his face, and sometimes his fingers would twitch, but his eyes remained firmly closed. The staff assured her it was normal, and that the heavy sedation took time to wear off, but still she worried. She was nervous and growing impatient, convinced something was wrong no matter what she was told. What if his injuries had simply been too severe, and he never woke up again? What if he was damned to lie helpless for the rest of his life, the man he once was gone forever?

Another brief conversation with Reno had only served to distract her for a moment. He still would not tell her where he and Rude were, but his tone was strained and he spoke as if in a hurry. She knew something important was happening, and that Reno was under a lot of stress in his sudden role as their leader. She wished he trusted her enough to let her know what was going on, but was too concerned about her own assignment to push the issue. She was glad to be able to tell him that Tseng was making progress, something that seemed to bring him temporary relief. Elena was surprised to find that she actually missed him, even though he was often so impatient with her. He and Rude had become almost like older brothers, whether they wanted to be or not.

She placed a hand against the glass as the distant rumble of thunder reached her ears, wishing they were all back in the office in Midgar. She would write a boring report or two, Reno would make fun of her and pelt her with paper clips, Rude would bring them all coffee and forward stupid jokes from the internet… Tseng would be in his office, keeping a close watch on his Turks. Rufus might decide to send him out on an assignment, and he'd call to order her to come along, making her feel special and wanted even if it was only to continue her training. Elena hadn't fully realized just how much she enjoyed her career and new life until suddenly, everything was gone.

As her eyes filled with tears, a quiet sound behind her startled her from her thoughts. She quickly blinked them away before turning around, expecting to find one of the nurses on their rounds. She was surprised when she found that the room was empty, frowning as she looked about. She must have been imagining it, the sounds of the storm outside playing tricks on her senses. When her eyes passed over Tseng, however, she gasped aloud.

He was lying completely still, but his eyes were open half way. She raised a shaking hand to cover her mouth, watching as he frowned and closed them again. Elena stood frozen in place a moment longer, then finally forced herself to cross the room. She cautiously approached his bed, standing next to it and gazing down at him in shock.

"Sir…? Are you awake?"

There was no response at first, until she heard him moan quietly. His eyes partially opened again, unfocused and staring at the ceiling. But after a moment, they slowly shifted in her direction and he looked directly at her. His eyelids were heavy and he seemed to struggle to keep them open, but the look of recognition on his face was unmistakable. She reached out and took his hand without thinking, quickly pushing the button to summon his nurse with her free one.

"Hey…" she said softly, looking down at him and fighting tears. "It's okay, I'm here."

He took a deep, shaky breath, pain crossing his features as another quiet moan escaped him. She squeezed his hand as a single tear trailed down her cheek, overcome by sorrow and relief all at once. Elena was alarmed by the congestion she could hear when he breathed more deeply, and how much pain each rise and fall of his chest seemed to cause him. It was obvious that he was suffering, but looking into his tired dark eyes warmed her soul.

Nurse Becky appeared in the doorway, her eyes widening when she realized that her patient was finally awake. She approached his bedside and smiled down at him when his eyes moved in her direction. Elena felt his fingers curl around her hand, his hold weak but almost desperate. If she had a choice she never would have let it go.

"Well, hello there," Becky said, quickly giving him another dose of pain medication when she saw how uncomfortable he was. "Can you tell me your name?"

He closed his eyes and seemed to have fallen asleep again, but after a moment Elena just barely heard him whisper his full name. She smiled, new tears trailing down her cheeks. She'd been terrified that his memory would be affected, however irrational.

"And who's the pretty girl holding your hand?" Becky asked him as she checked his vital signs. Elena blushed fiercely, wishing she could sink into the floor. She considered taking back her hand, but he obviously did not want to release it. Tseng's eyes drifted her way again, and she thought she saw the slightest hint of a smile.

"Elena…" he said, his voice soft but clear. She felt herself grow weak in the knees and quickly averted her eyes, terrified that he could see exactly how the sound of her name crossing his lips made her feel.

"Great! Do you know where you are, Tseng?"

He frowned, looking puzzled for a moment. His eyelids fluttered as he fought to remain conscious, but he finally managed to mumbled a reply. "… hospital."

"That's right. You've been badly injured, but you're going to be okay. Do you remember what happened to you?"

There was no response as his eyes closed once again, and his grip on Elena's hand slowly relaxed. She was certain he really had fallen back to sleep this time, sighing softly and wiping her tears away with her free hand. But a moment later his mouth moved and he quietly mumbled a single word. He'd spoken in his first language, however, and neither woman understood him. Elena wished she'd bothered to learn a little, though she'd had little reason to before. She's never even heard Tseng speak it before his injury, aside from a few exclamations he'd muttered under his breath during tense situations.

"I'm sorry… I don't know any Wutaiian," Becky said calmly, and Elena was grateful for her presence. She was far too emotional to think rationally, let alone speak so soothingly.

Tseng's eyes slid open, and he looked up at Elena with what she almost thought were tears shining in them. She stood frozen, and when he spoke again her heart was instantly in her throat. "… failed. I failed…"

"No!" she exclaimed, unable to help but cry harder when she saw the shame written all over his pale face. "Gods, no… You've been so strong, so brave. I don't _care_ about the stupid assignment, I just want you to get better!"

Tseng moaned quietly, and this time when his eyes closed they did not open again. Elena looked across the bed in a panic, slightly relieved when Becky smiled comfortingly. Even she looked a bit tearful, but she quickly hid it. "That's all right," she said reassuringly, picking up his chart and making note of the time and event. "That was wonderful. He's aware of who he is and where he is, he can recognize someone he knows, and he didn't panic like a lot of seriously injured patients do when they first wake up. I think he's going to be just fine. It'll be slow going, but it's all uphill from here. And I think you're going to be a big part of that, honey."

Elena was too upset to find her voice, sinking into the chair as the nurse left the room. The tears continued to fall as she gazed at Tseng's face, glad that he appeared to be resting comfortably again. It broke her heart that he saw himself as a failure because he'd been injured and unable to stop his attacker. Even when he was fighting for his life, he was still thinking of his responsibilities. He amazed her, and she longed to tell him how much she admired his courage. At that moment, she almost didn't care if it would cost her her job… She desperately wanted him to know that someone cared about him… loved him… and wanted to be there for him as far more than an employee or partner. Even if he didn't return her feelings, the desire to tell him was only growing stronger. Her heart fluttered as she watched him sleep, wondering if she would ever find the nerve. If she continued to hold back and never got the chance, she knew she'd go mad. But for now, she silently continued her vigil and vowed to be there at his side for as long as it took. She was not going to fail him.

* * *

((**Author's Notes: **I wrote this entire chapter all at once, and it just flowed. Didn't even need much editing done, either. Poor Tseng thinks he's a failure… He's not used to being unable to complete an assignment, I guess. Or laying around all sick and helpless, either, despite the previous - way less serious - bullet wound (I've mentioned in other fics that he took one for the original President Shin-ra if anyone was wondering about that). All this emotion and worrying is getting to Elena, and we already know she has a problem with talking too much. Now that Tseng's starting to rejoin the land of the living, is she going to spill her guts or stay chicken? Stay tuned, and thanks! _~ JenesisX _))


	6. Chapter Six: Gradual Awareness

**Chapter Six: Gradual Awareness**

Elena was curled up in the chair at Tseng's bedside, checking the messages on her PHS when she looked up to find Rufus Shin-ra in the doorway. So he'd finally decided to make time to come visit his wounded employee… She quickly pocketed the device and rose to attention, nodding respectfully and trying to hide her annoyance.

"Good afternoon, sir," she said, hoping she still looked reasonably professional. She hadn't changed her uniform since the previous morning, and was certain her eyes were glassy and bloodshot from lack of sleep. She appreciated the cot she'd been provided with, but it was next to impossible to sleep with everything going on.

Rufus nodded dismissively and slowly entered the room, looking around as if disgusted to find himself in such surroundings. He wrinkled his nose and briefly studied the various machines and monitors before absently adjusting his white suit jacket. He finally made his way to Tseng's bedside a moment later and peered down at him with a frown.

"He's not even awake yet?" he asked, raising an eyebrow. Elena's eyes widened, and it took all of her self control to answer politely.

"He has been on and off, sir," she informed him, trying not to lose her temper. She was certain Reno had briefed him on the seriousness of Tseng's condition. "He's very badly injured and in a lot of pain. They only just reduced his sedation, so he's still sleeping most of the time. The doctor said that's the best thing for him."

"I see… I would like to speak with him regarding his assignment, however." Rufus reached out as if to shake Tseng by the shoulder, and Elena gasped in horror.

"No, don't! You'll hurt him!" she cried, halting Rufus in mid motion. "He's not supposed to be moved or disturbed… uh, sir."

Rufus glared at her with his cold blue eyes, then sighed heavily. "How am I supposed to know what went wrong at the temple if he just lays there napping?" he demanded, staring down at Tseng almost accusingly. "It's been several days now."

Elena felt a surge of protectiveness rise within her, stepping closer to Tseng's bedside. When she spoke again she almost didn't recognize her own voice. "Forgive me, sir, but I think his health is a lot more important than the assignment."

Rufus snorted, favoring her with a look of disdain. "Whatever. I'll have to come back later, then, I suppose. How inconvenient... I'm a very busy man. Tell him he is to contact me as soon as he wakes up." With that, he spun on his heel and stormed from the room, quickly vanishing from sight.

Elena was left nearly shaking with rage, stunned by Rufus' cluelessness and lack of compassion. Did he really think Tseng was in any condition to sit up and make a phone call? He could barely open his eyes! How could Rufus care so little about his long time employee's well being, especially when he'd often risked his life for him as his personal bodyguard? Tseng inspired such loyalty in others, and all of the Turks were devastated by his injury. Yet his own boss seemed to view it all as a minor set back, more of an inconvenience to his business than anything else. It only made her more determined than ever to remain by his side. Someone needed to be there who saw him as a person, who cared for him outside his job responsibilities. He was so much more than just her boss, and she was not going to let anyone hurt him.

_xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx_

He existed in a haze of confusion and pain, lost in a place between consciousness and dreams. Lights, voices, distant sensations… the pain… They all raced around him as his body was held captive by an invisible force. There were long periods of darkness and black emptiness, shattered by moments of gripping terror. Was he still alive, or had he died and gotten trapped in a kind of limbo? …Was this hell?

He grew aware of distant voices, slowly drifting closer to the surface of consciousness but unable to hear the words. His memory began to awaken, bits and pieces of recent events drifting through his mind. The temple… the Black Materia… a man with a sword and a sudden, crippling agony that had yet to cease. Falling… the blood… a familiar face and the warmth of a healing spell. Darkness followed, and when he'd next opened his eyes…

_Elena… _

It was her voice he heard now, but when he tried to reach it he remained lost and alone. Even when she seemed so far away, the memory of her face that flashed through his mind eased the worst of his pain. Was she there with him somewhere, or was he imagining it? Was she safe? He had to know.

Tseng gradually forced his eyes open, frustrated by how much energy it took to lift his heavy lids even half way. Why was everything so difficult… His body refused to obey his commands as if paralyzed, and he fought not to panic as he blinked to clear his vision. He'd been badly injured, he knew, and something was very wrong with his body. There was so much raw pain, and he felt as if he'd been weighed down by heavy stones and cast into the sea. A thick fog clung to his thoughts, and he struggled even to think. Nothing made sense, but he was desperate to find her.

He managed to focus his eyes on the ceiling above his bed, suddenly remembering he was in a hospital somewhere... He stared at the tiles and took a deep breath, a burning agony instantly tearing through his chest. He cringed and moaned quietly, trying to lift his arms but unable to do so. Gods, it hurt so much… Tseng had experienced plenty of pain in his life, but nothing like this. It was searing and all consuming, so intense that his vision went white and he nearly faded back into the depths. He grit his teeth and waited for it to pass, and after endless moments of suffering the pain returned to its previous level. His chest… there was something wrong with his chest. The man with the sword… the laughter of one who had lost his mind… and then the pain. He'd been struck with the sword! Tseng relaxed a bit as the pieces slowly fell into place, his condition easier to tolerate once he understood the cause. His thoughts gradually became clearer, but his body remained hopelessly broken and just beyond his control.

The room was quiet aside from the endless beeping sounds of what he assumed were medical devices, but he sensed that he was not alone. He concentrated and shifted his eyes to his right, just barely able to turn his head. When his gaze settled on the figure standing before the tall window across the room, the strange feeling in his chest had little to do with his injury.

Elena stood with her back to him, unaware that he was awake and watching her. The sun was just beginning to set, casting her in a soft orange glow. He could not see her face, wishing she would turn and notice him but unable to find the strength to speak. Tseng was relieved to find her unharmed and could not take his eyes away from the sight. She was his responsibility, and he was glad he had left her behind in Wutai. Gods, if she had been with him and gotten hurt, or worse…

Tseng was vaguely aware that his concern for her was more than that of a boss for his young protégé, and even in his current state he felt his face grow hot. He tried so hard to remain cool and detached, to see her as no different than any other Turk. He'd never had a problem doing so before, and while female Turks were extremely rare she was not the first. Yet there had been an instant attraction that surprised him, and time had only complicated the situation and left him confused and frustrated. He was a professional, the leader of the elite department. There was no room for such things for one in his position. His feelings and desires as a man had no place in his line of work, and his career was his life. Yet she was never far from his thoughts…

A rush of loneliness and longing washed over him as he watched her, and he allowed his heavy eyes to slide closed again. He was comforted by her presence and just knowing she was safe. Had she been ordered to stay with him, he wondered, or was it her own decision? Too weak and exhausted to bother fighting with himself or trying to comprehend his conflicting emotions, Tseng allowed himself to hope it was the latter as he drifted back to sleep.

_xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx_

The next time Tseng opened his eyes, Elena was sitting in the chair at his bedside, absently flipping through a magazine. He blinked tiredly, the light burning his eyes and making him wince. The pain in his chest had grown unbearable again, and he was unable to help but moan quietly. Elena jumped, startled, but smiled when she saw that he was awake. She set aside the magazine and met his eyes, instantly frowning.

"Are you in a lot of pain, sir?" she asked. Tseng's first instinct was to lash out in frustration. Of _course _he was in a lot of pain! But he paused to calm himself before gathering the effort required to speak. She was only trying to help, and she was the last person he ever wanted to hurt.

"Yes," he managed to whisper, cringing as he tried to move his arm. He managed to lift it a few inches off the bed, but it was as heavy as lead and he let it drop back to his side.

"I'll call the nurse so she can give you something," Elena said, pressing the call button beside his bed before turning back to him. "You seem a lot more with it now, though. How are you feeling? I mean, I know you're hurting, I just…"

He forced a weak smile, seeing how uncomfortable she was. He always seemed to make her nervous and was not quite sure why. It certainly wasn't intentional. "Weak… tired…" he struggled, forced to pause to take a painful breath between each word. His mouth was dry and his throat hurt, but that was the least of his concerns. "What… is wrong… with me?"

"Someone attacked you with a sword, and you have a deep wound across your chest and stomach," she told him, her tone gentle. It was a struggle to listen and comprehend her words, his mind so distracted by pain and fatigue. "You have some internal injuries and broken ribs, and… it's a pretty bad cut. But you're going to be fine!" she quickly added.

"The others…?"

"Reno's covering for you, and Rufus sent he and Rude out again… but I don't know where or why. Oh, and Rufus stopped by earlier…" There was a brief flash of anger in Elena's blue eyes, and Tseng desperately wished he knew what was going on within his own department. He was again reminded of his failure and briefly closed his eyes, ashamed and embarrassed. That Elena should see him this way only made it worse.

"Why?" he asked, his voice so soft he wasn't sure she'd heard him at first. But she finally sighed and shook her head.

"He doesn't quite understand how close you came to dying," she said, and he noticed the way her voice cracked when she spoke the final word. She quickly hid it, however, before she continued. "He wanted to talk to you about your assignment, but left because you were asleep."

Tseng groaned miserably, picturing Rufus' stern expression in his mind. He had blown it… He had failed on what might have been his most important assignment to date, and his boss was likely furious. Tseng knew he'd been a fool to agree to go ahead to the temple alone, and he should have been more careful while studying the alter. But he'd been the only one present until the sudden flash of light, and-

"Don't worry about him," Elena said, awkwardly reaching out to briefly cover his hand with her own. It was as if she knew what he was thinking, and the feelings it stirred inside him were foreign and disturbing. "You just need to rest right now so you can heal…"

Their eyes met, and the warmth that washed over his body briefly drowned out the pain. Elena quickly looked away and withdrew her hand, and Tseng found himself disappointed. The way she made him feel was so strange, so intense, that even a lifetime of tight control over his emotions couldn't stop it. He tried to blame his condition and the medications he was on, but knew he was kidding himself.

"… and you? How long… have you been here?"

Elena's cheeks flushed pink and she looked down into her lap, biting her lower lip. She looked exhausted, her eyes red and her expression haggard. "Well… other than a few short breaks, pretty much since _you _got here."

"And that was…?" he asked, realizing he had no concept of time, unsure of exactly how long ago he'd been injured.

"Um… this is the fourth day," she said after pausing to think, playing with her hands and unable to look at him. Tseng frowned, concerned for her and feeling guilty that she'd felt obligated to remain with him for so long while he'd been largely unconscious.

"Go," he told her, briefly glancing over at an unknown nurse who had entered the room with a vial of medication in her hand. She smiled but said nothing, not wanting to interrupt their conversation. "I'm all right now…"

"What? No!" Elena exclaimed, her eyes wide. "I'm not going to leave you here like this."

"You need to rest," he said, closing his eyes as the nurse added the medication to his IV. An odd feeling instantly descended upon him and the room began to spin. He felt as if he was floating, then falling, swallowing hard until it passed. When it did, he opened his eyes again and found Elena still stubbornly shaking her head, blinking so he could focus on her face. "Please don't make me… order you… to go."

A faint smirk graced Elena's lips as she looked down at him and met his eyes. The medication had already begun to take effect, his pain level greatly reduced and a heavy, comforting drowsiness clouding his thoughts. Gods, she was so beautiful…

"Sorry, sir… but Reno is the acting head of department right now, and _he _ordered me to stay here. But uh… only because I refused to leave…"

Tseng had to admit he was impressed by her courage as he began to drift back to sleep, the world around him slowly fading away despite his efforts to stay awake. His last conscious thought was one of content, knowing Elena would remain by his side because she wanted to be there.

* * *

((**Author's Notes: **Rufus is an asshole. Just sayin'. Writing from Tseng's POV here was a bit of a challenge, as it's been a while and he's not completely 'with it' yet. I hope I still managed to do him some justice, and get across where his mind is right now. I think he and Elena are the fandom's most neglected and underdeveloped characters who have so much potential, and I intend to fix that. Or die trying, dammit! Next chapter, Elena does a bit of unintentional snooping to learn more about her mysterious boss. Thanks so much to the handful of you who have taken the time to leave reviews and add this fic to your lists! I very much appreciate it, more than I can say. Much love! _~ JenesisX _))


	7. Chapter Seven: Invasion of Privacy

**Chapter Seven: Invasion of Privacy**

Elena stood outside the door with a keycard clutched in her hand, staring down at it and turning it over in her hand as she built up her nerve. It wasn't just any keycard she held, after all. It was Tseng's. And she was about to enter his quarters at Junon Harbor.

Because of his high rank and how often he traveled, Tseng had a permanent apartment on the base, whereas the rest of the Turks were assigned random rooms in the Officer's Barracks during their stays. His room was located on the top residential floor, where the highest ranking military officers and other Shin-ra officials lived along with their families. It was a far cry from the dimly lit, spartan accommodations provided to the lower ranks, and she couldn't help but look around in awe. Maybe someday, she would be living this way, too.

She had been sent to Tseng's quarters to retrieve some clothing and personal items for him, since he was now alert enough to complain about his state of undress and the fact that he was cold. She doubted he could get a shirt over his thick bandaging and knew he couldn't dress himself, but she dutifully took his keycard and the list a nurse had written down for him without question. If it made him happy, she would do it. Besides, whether Reno was currently in charge or not, Tseng was still her boss as far as she was concerned.

She took a deep breath and finally swiped the card, scolding herself for being foolish as a green light flashed its acceptance and the lock clicked open. She slowly stepped inside and shut the door behind her, fumbling for the light switch and flicking it on. There she paused, feeling guilty and very out of place. It seemed wrong somehow, to invade his private sanctuary when he wasn't present. Yet at the same time, she was extremely curious as she began to look around. She had never been to his quarters before, either there or his actual home in Midgar, and she was a bit excited by the opportunity. It wasn't _quite _the same as an invitation, but still.

Tseng's quarters were a one room studio apartment, small but more than adequate for a single person who stayed there on a very limited basis. Inside the door to the right was a small round table and chairs, a dark grey leather couch and coffee table along the wall a bit farther into the room. The furniture was tasteful but not overstated, much as she would have expected. There was a small television across from the couch, placed atop a wide bookshelf, and a half-wall with a counter divided the kitchen from the rest of the apartment. The far side of the unit contained a bed and night table, as well as a long, low dresser. There was a closet and what she assumed was the bathroom making up the far wall, along with the apartment's only window. A recliner and floor lamp were set on an angle in the corner.

She glanced down at the list and awkwardly made her way farther into the room, carefully taking in her surroundings. Part of it was out of habit from her training as a Turk, but she admitted with a blush that much of her curiosity was more personal. She had worked for Tseng for some time now, often quite closely, yet she still knew so little about him. He held his cards so close to his chest, and gave so little away, that she wondered if _anyone_ really knew him. She reflected yet again on why he was so private and reserved… why he kept himself so closed off and worked so hard to remain an unknown entity. Was it simply because of his position of authority, or something more? Her lack of knowledge had done nothing to discourage her interest in him, however, and had in fact only made it more intense. There was just something _about _him.

The apartment was very clean, and she noticed there were almost no personal effects. The table was bare, as was the coffee table aside from a single remote control. The carpeting was the standard issue cream color used throughout the base, and the walls were an off white and almost entirely blank. There was a painting hanging above the leather couch, however, and she paused to study it. She quickly recognized it as the capital city of Wutai during a storm, wondering why he'd chosen something so gloomy. It was an impressive painting, and she tried and failed to make out the artist's signature.

Though Tseng was not currently well enough to sit up and read, Elena figured she would take him a few books for when he was able. He was bound to get bored, after all. Wondering what Tseng liked to read in his spare time, she approached the bookshelf and crouched down, her eyes scanning the shelves. She quickly realized it was pointless, as nearly every volume was written in Wutaiian. They remained as unknown to her as he was.

_He reads in his native language… Why is that so damn attractive?_

Elena blushed and shook her head, blindly choosing several books and hoping they were something interesting. She added a history book written in Universal just in case. She stared at the foreign script on the covers for a moment before setting them down on the coffee table, moving across the apartment toward the bedroom area.

Her eyes were drawn to the queen sized bed, which had a tall oak headboard with a bit of decorative carving around the edges. It was the quilt that most caught her attention, however. It was a beautiful deep blue silk, adorned with an intricate hand stitched pattern. It appeared to have been made in Wutai, and Elena approached and ran her hand along the fabric. It was as soft as it looked, and the thoughts that briefly flashed through her mind colored her face scarlet. Gods, why did she keep _doing_ that…

Tearing her eyes and her mind away from his bed, she glanced down at the list again and frowned. It contained mostly clothing items, and she looked up at the closet and dresser. The idea of going through his clothes was incredibly awkward, but she knew she had to do it. Elena told herself to view it as just another assignment, hoping that would make it easier and less embarrassing. She was certain he was less than thrilled about it himself.

She approached the closet first and pulled it open, her eyes running down a line of near identical dark suits and other dress clothing. She frowned, deeming them inappropriate and uncomfortable for his current condition. She pushed aside suit after suit until she found a few more casual button down shirts, one a silken material and another a very soft cotton. He might be able to wear them unbuttoned over the bandaging and at least be able to cover his shoulders and back, she thought, removing them from the closet. She next eyed a deep green shirt with a faint pattern on it and added it to the pile, unable to help but think of how handsome he'd looked the time she'd seen him wear it.

_This is so weird… I'm dressing my boss._

She located a few pairs of track pants he must have used for working out or lounging at home and added them to the pile, not about to have him laying around in the hospital in stiff slacks. He was already in so much pain, and she wanted him to be comfortable whether he liked it or not. He was always so formal, and she longed to see what he was like when he relaxed and dropped his guard. If he ever did… What was he like when he clocked out and closed the door behind him at the end of the day? It was a question she'd been asking herself almost since the day she met him, and she still didn't have a clue. He didn't even seem to actively hide the information or need to avoid questions… He was simply a mystery, an enigma she was desperate to solve. She wondered if he was ever lonely, if he ever wished he had a more normal life and someone special to share it with. And if he did, did he ever consider…?

She shook her head and sighed, setting the clothing down on the bed and cringing at the next item. Of course… He'd need underwear as well. Elena flushed and giggled aloud, feeling like a nervous school girl. Gods, never in her wildest dreams did she think she'd be going through Tseng's underwear drawer! She approached the dresser and took a guess, opening the top right drawer. She stood and stared down at the pile of neatly folded silk boxer shorts in a variety of dark colors, more than just her face growing hot. Well, now she knew the answer to _that _mystery at least. She quickly grabbed a few pair and hid them between the shirts and pants, relieved to be finished the task. Her mind, however, continued to conjure up mental images she didn't try all that hard to banish. She may have been a Turk, but she was also still a woman. She quickly located a few pair of socks in the drawer beneath before moving away.

At the bottom of the list were two final items. They were prescription medications, she realized, and Elena raised an eyebrow. For some reason, the thought of Tseng needing such a thing seemed strange. He was so strong and steady, and he'd never missed a day of work during her time under his command until now. She had no idea what the medications were for, but the note said they were on the kitchen counter.

She entered the small kitchen area and quickly spotted an orange prescription bottle and a thin tan zipper case with a matching label affixed to it sitting beside the coffee maker. She picked up the bottle first and read the label, now unable to pronounce both Tseng's surname and the name of the medication. After reading the instructions, however, she realized it was a preventative for chronic migraines. Her eyes widened with surprise, and she picked up the case beside it.

"Oh wow," she said aloud. "These are injections…" Inside the case were six individual self-contained needles, which he could use to inject himself at the onset of a sudden migraine. Elena had no idea he suffered from the severe headaches, just one more thing he expertly hid from everyone he worked with. How did he manage that, with as many missions as they'd been on together? They'd been forced to spend days together in uncomfortable and cramped conditions, yet she'd never seen him take a pill… although now that she thought about it, he did sometime squint as if the light bothered his eyes, and at times he would frown and rub his temples.

As she gathered the medication and left the kitchen, she was suddenly reminded of a day when she had entered Tseng's office after knocking once and opening the door, since it was left open half way. She'd found him lying on the couch, and he'd bolted up quickly as if he might have been asleep. His eyes were heavy and he seemed a bit groggy, quickly apologizing and saying something about a headache. So she _had_ witnessed one of his migraines… she'd just dismissed it as unimportant at the time and forgotten about it. She felt guilty somehow, that she'd overlooked one of the rare moments he'd shown her his human side. Maybe he really _was_ like everyone else, and had weaknesses and problems of his own he was simply better at keeping covered. How she wished she had the courage to simply _talk_ to him, though she wasn't sure he'd be willing to say much. Tseng was her boss. He wouldn't be interested in being her friend, much less… She sighed heavily and bit her lower lip, gathering up the items and heading for the door. Mission accomplished.

_xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx_

Tseng was lying in bed staring at the ceiling again, a sight that was growing frustratingly familiar. There wasn't much else to see in the small hospital room, he assumed, but he wished he could at least turn his head a bit more and look around. He could manage to tilt it just a bit to the side if he really concentrated, mostly to his right. It seemed his injury began below his left shoulder, and he could not move that arm at all. He realized it had been strapped down to the bed to hold it in place for the IV, which made sense. It didn't mean he liked it, though.

He longed to be able to get out of bed, or to at least pick up a PHS and find out what was going on within his department. He knew Rufus had sent Reno and Rude out on an important and top secret assignment, likely to finish what he had failed to do, and he was gravely concerned for their safety. Tseng doubted they had been given all the information they needed about just what they were after and who they were up against, but he could never quite think clearly enough for long enough to voice his concerns to Elena, and it may well have already been too late to stop the events that had been set in motion. His thoughts remained clouded and confused, jumping between one idea and another before fading back into pain and oblivion. He would try to speak but the words wouldn't come, and it left him incredibly frustrated. What kind of leader was he, lying there useless when so much was going on that could possibly endanger the entire world?

Tseng remained conscious for perhaps half an hour at a time now from his estimates, based on the activity in the corridor outside his room and things Elena and the nurses had said. He knew it was his fifth day in the hospital, and that everyone was astounded that he had survived his wounds and was as alert as he was. When he managed to remember more of what happened, and the way his blood had poured through his fingers… the sight of his innards showing through his torn shirt that he knew he'd never cleanse from his mind… he realized he was, too. Tseng had never given much thought to his own mortality before. He'd always assumed there was a good chance he would die in the line of duty, and it was something he had long ago accepted. Yet when the time came and he saw his life draining away onto the temple floor, he was surprised to find that he wasn't ready to accept his fate.

What kind of life had he lived, he'd wondered as he grew weak and lightheaded on the ground, struggling for breath as he managed to send an emergency message to his fellow Turks. He'd long ago severed all ties with his family and homeland, and his existence had been made up of little else but his job. What was he leaving behind? Would anyone care when he was gone? And why did it suddenly _matter_?

Now that he was reasonably certain he was not going to die, he was confused by his reaction. Was it simply a moment of weakness from a dying man, or something far deeper? It was so difficult to think around the constant burning agony in his chest, a pain the high doses of morphine could only dull temporarily. Tseng was not a stranger to suffering, and had endured plenty of uncomfortable situations and injuries in his years as a Turk, but nothing could compare to the constant agony in his chest and abdomen. He didn't complain, because he knew there was no point, and his honor would not allow it. Eventually a nurse would arrive and give him another dose of medication, or ask him if he needed one, and he would simply nod wordlessly and wait for the warm blanket of relief to wash over him. He wished he could have refused, but he would have gone insane. He'd even dreamed about his mother the night before, and he hadn't spared her a passing thought in years. Was he really going to be reduced to wanting his momma because of an injury? Pathetic.

As in on cue, a young nurse he had seen once or twice before entered the room and began checking the monitors and his IV without even looking at him. Tseng's eyes were wide open and following her movements, and he frowned with annoyance. He was tired of many of the staff treating him like an object, speaking about him like he was not there and telling him very little about his condition and what they were doing. It was humiliating enough that he could do nothing for himself, that these people were bathing him, changing him, and taking care of his every necessity. They could have at least acknowledged that he was a human being who was suffering and unhappy with his predicament and treated him with a bit more dignity. Tseng despised being helpless more than anything, and he laid there fuming as the woman quickly gave him his medication and hurried away. The head nurse… Becky, was it?… was different, at least. He was even aware of her speaking to him when he was half asleep. His doctor, too, was kind and respectful, and had been by to give him a detailed report on his condition in the morning that his tired and drugged mind had struggled to comprehend. He'd been thankful Elena was there as well, so that he could ask her questions later.

He admitted that he missed Elena as he struggled to glance toward the door, wincing at the sharp pain in his shoulder and quickly abandoning the effort. She had left a short time ago with his keycard and list of belongings he needed from his part time quarters on the base. That, too, made him uneasy. The idea of his young Turk visiting his private quarters and going through his belongings made him extremely uncomfortable. He had nothing to hide, and there was really very little he kept at Junon Harbor, but Tseng was an extremely private man. It made him feel vulnerable and exposed, especially in front of her. She even had to retrieve clean underwear for him, for gods' sake! He felt his cheeks color and sighed, scolding himself for being ridiculous. It was a simple necessity, and he had assigned her to the task as one of his staff. It was nothing more, and she would handle it with the professionalism of a Turk. He was tired of lying there shirtless in bandages and nothing but thin hospital pajama bottoms and paper socks, and knew that having some of his own clothing would make him feel less ashamed whether he could put them on himself or not. His head had also begun to pound with the beginnings of a migraine, and Dr. Welsh had wanted to see what he was taking for it. He would be sure to swear Elena to secrecy on that detail. One in a position such as his should never allow even the most minor of weaknesses to become public knowledge.

In the back of his mind, Tseng knew he missed her past his desire to have his own belongings in a cold and foreign place. As much as he was loathe to admit it, her presence had been a comfort to him since he'd woken up. She was a distraction from the pain, and just the fact that she sat at his bedside made coping far easier. There was someone on the Planet who cared and wanted to be there for him, and it made him even more determined to heal. The fact that it was _her_, well… he tried not to think about that. He'd never wanted her to see him in such a condition, however, and he was going to make certain he was soon back on his feet and as invincible as she seemed to think he was. Then maybe he could think more clearly about what it was about her that left him so intrigued and confused.

* * *

((**Author's Notes: **You know you'd snoop through his stuff way more than that! Hehe. Kind of just a bridge chapter here… I wanted Elena to get a bit of a look into Tseng's "out of work" environment, even though these quarters are not really his home. And of course I wanted to express what is going through Tseng's mind while he's lying there hurting and frustrated with his condition. There's just so little written about how his mind works… As we'll see, though, the better he gets physically, the more annoyed he gets with his situation. Everyone may soon want to sedate him again! Next chapter, we'll get an update from good old Doctor Welsh and see what his prognosis is now, and what Tseng thinks about his chances of going back to work or not. Thanks for reading, and please let me know what you think! _~ JenesisX _))


	8. Chapter Eight: A Crack in the Dam

**Chapter Eight: A Crack in the Dam**

((**Author's Notes: **More at the end of the chapter, but a quick announcement first. I have a brand new **Facebook page**! The link is in my profile here, or you can look up JenesisX on FB (my real life account will also pop up; if you'd like to friend me please include a message letting me know you are a reader!). Please stop by and feel free to post a message, and I'd be thrilled if you'd 'like' me. I decided to do that instead of a blog, and will post updates, progress reports and other stuff about my AU pretty much daily. And we can chat, too. J Thanks for checking it out! _~ JenesisX _))

* * *

The walls of Tseng's room inside the Junon Harbor medical center had become as familiar to Elena as the back of her own hand by the end of his first week in residence. She began to wonder if she'd start to forget what it was like to be outside and do something other than sit in the chair at his bedside or wander the sterile white halls for a bit of exercise. She knew she could have left for longer than a fifteen minute shower and a quick meal, but every time she did she felt so guilty and full of worry that she hurried back as quickly as she could. Tseng's condition had been upgraded to stable several days before, but still Elena held on to the fear that something would happen the moment she took her eyes off of him.

He was sleeping now, and Elena sat cross-legged on her cot against the far wall, trying to focus on the book in her lap but failing miserably. She sighed as she looked across the room at him, biting her lower lip without realizing it. Tseng had grown increasingly irritable during the periods he was awake, and had repeatedly told her that she ought to leave and get on with her normal assignments. He had even demanded her PHS so he could speak to Reno, but was interrupted when Nurse Becky arrived to give him his pain medication and fell asleep shortly thereafter. Elena was left hurt and confused by his behavior, having thought he appreciated having someone by his side while he recovered. At first, he had indeed seemed to want her there, searching for her the moment he was awake as if her presence was a comfort and often gripping her hand when his pain level was at its worst. But the more alert he became, the more she seemed to bother him, and Elena had no idea why. Was it something she had said or done? Were her attempts to keep him company and make him feel less alone an annoyance? Or was it something deeper?

Sometimes when he looked at her and snapped that she was wasting her time by sitting there, Elena saw such shame and embarrassment in his eyes that she could have wept. Was _that _it? Was he really such a proud man that having one of his Turks see him in such a condition was deeply humiliating? Or was it the fact that it was _she _who remained by his side? He had brightened briefly when she'd brought him his belongings from his quarters, but otherwise he spent his time awake staring at the ceiling with haunted eyes, barely willing to acknowledge her presence. Elena desperately wanted to say something, to tell him that there was no shame in being injured and needing help and support, and that she would _never _think any less of him and was in fact extremely impressed with how well he was doing… but she couldn't make herself speak the words and tried to give him his space. She knew she would have to do something soon, though, as the tension between them was building to the point where it was becoming unbearable. If it was making _her_ so uneasy, it couldn't possibly be good for his recovery. If he needed her to leave in order to cope with his condition, Elena would swallow her pain and do as he wished, and hope he would be all right without someone there to watch over him… but she desperately hoped he was not going to send her away when all she wanted to do was reach out and hold him until he was back on his feet again. And long afterwards as well… She had never had such powerful feelings for anyone before, and seeing him lying there in so much pain only made them stronger. Sometimes the urge to climb in beside him and curl up at his side as he rested was so intense she had to walk away. She could only wonder what he would have thought if he knew what went through her mind…

She shook her head and scolded herself for entertaining such thoughts yet again, realizing that a romance novel was probably the wrong thing to be reading and closing it with disgust. She sighed and was about to flop back on the cot to try and take a nap when she saw Dr. Welsh out in the hall through the glass pane, heading for the doorway. Glad for the distraction and eager for an update on how Tseng was progressing, she rose to her feet and crossed the room to meet him as he entered.

"Hello there!" the doctor said rather loudly after glancing at his sleeping patient, clearly intending to try to rouse him. Now that he was stable and more alert, Dr. Welsh made sure Tseng was awake each time he visited to examine him, even if he was groggy and unable to follow the conversation very well much of the time. In the two days since the doctor had seen him last, however, Elena had noticed that Tseng was far more coherent, and had a feeling he was going to be a lot more interested in the information this time around. He had started asking her questions about his condition and prognosis, and she'd been making excuses and telling him that the doctor would be in to see him again soon. She was relieved that she'd been telling the truth, but had known Dr. Welsh was reliable and kept close tabs on his patients even though he was an extremely busy man. "How are we doing today?" Dr. Welsh asked as he shook Elena's hand, quickly looking over the monitors before gazing down at Tseng again. He still had not moved or shown any signs of awakening.

"He seems all right…" Elena said with a frown, her tone of voice causing the doctor to glance up at her with concern over the tops of his glasses. She paused, then lowered her voice to a whisper. "He's been a little grouchy."

The doctor chuckled quietly and smiled. "Well, I'd certainly expect so! I'd be worried if he wasn't, honestly. You should hear some of the abuse we get from patients who are bedridden and in a lot of pain. Trust me, he's been extremely pleasant. All of the nurses seem to like being assigned to him. And Becky adores both of you."

Elena forced a weak smile, watching as the doctor pulled back the blankets and made sure Tseng's bandaging was clean. He was now wearing one of his shirts, unbuttoned, and a pair of track pants and normal black socks. Tseng frowned at the removal of his warmth, and slowly his eyes fluttered opened. He glared upward for a moment, his expression softening a bit when he realized what was happening. He groaned quietly, blinking against the assault of the harsh lighting before managing to focus his tired eyes.

"Doctor…" he nearly whispered, as if his throat was too dry to make more of a sound. He was not yet allowed anything to drink, but the nurses had finally let Elena give him a few ice cubes when he had really complained about it earlier in the day. It seemed cruel to her, but she assumed there must have been a good reason.

"How is my best patient feeling today?" Dr. Welsh asked him, picking up his chart with a broad smile. Elena cringed at the scowl that instantly crossed Tseng's face.

"Why does everyone insist upon asking me that?" he demanded, clearly annoyed, his accent a bit heavier than usual.

Dr. Welsh met Elena's eyes across the top of the chart, and she lifted an eyebrow as if to say she had warned him. "I'm sorry. I know you're in a lot of pain and not very comfortable kept lying flat on your back like this," the doctor said with sympathy, his eyes full of genuine compassion as he looked down at his patient. "We're doing everything we can to make you comfortable."

"I know… thank you," Tseng said, briefly closing his eyes and looking a bit ashamed of himself for his dark mood. "This is… twice I owe you my life now."

"I'm not so sure about that, actually," Dr. Welsh said, shaking his head. Elena was dying to know the full story behind Tseng's earlier bullet wound, but the doctor's next words were suddenly far more interesting. "I don't think it was me who saved it this time around."

"What… do you mean?"

Elena tilted her head curiously as the doctor studied Tseng, a knowing expression on his face. Tseng looked up at him tiredly, though for just a moment she thought she detected the slightest hint of alarm in his dark eyes.

"There is simply no way you made it all the way back here with a wound of that nature, after an unknown amount of time without any treatment, and didn't bleed to death… unless you had intervention of an unnatural or magical nature," Dr. Welsh said firmly. "Your rate of recovery thus far, too, has been accelerated. It bears all the after effects of a very powerful healing magic or solution. I understand that you were unable to tell me this information at first, but why are you still keeping it from me? What did you use, Tseng? What type of potion or materia was it?"

"I did not use anything."

"You could be jeopardizing your health by lying about it," Dr. Welsh said, a deep concern in his voice. Elena could only stare at Tseng with wide eyes, speechless. His survival and recovery had indeed seemed miraculous, but she had never for a moment considered that there might be something more to it than luck, timing, and modern medicine. Reno and Rude did not seem to suspect, either, at least not that she had heard them mention. The only things _they_ had used on him in the temple were the pitiful contents of the Shin-ra-issued first aid kit, and no one during the flight back to Junon Harbor had used any magic or potions. But suddenly Tseng and his doctor were staring each other down, tension quickly filling the air. Elena was stunned and had no idea what to do, standing at his bedside wordlessly and feeling like even more of a clueless rookie than usual. Neither man blinked for long moments before Tseng finally sighed, briefly closed his eyes, and began to speak very quietly.

"I did not disclose this information… because it has to do with the assignment I was on at the time of my injury, and is highly confidential. I… may have come in contact with… a powerful white magic while on location. But I do not remember anything more."

Elena's mind began to race, and it took all of her will power not to blurt out the many questions she wanted to ask him. How could he have simply 'come in contact with' something of that nature right in the entrance hall of the temple? And _after_ being injured? That made it sound as if the _magic_ had come to _him_, which was ridiculous and far too convenient. _Unless_… someone else had been present besides his attacker, someone who had been willing to aid him when he was near death and then left before she and the other Turks arrived. What was Tseng not telling them, and why? As soon as she had the opportunity, she was going go try to find out, because she had a feeling it was extremely important.

Dr. Welsh's eyes were wide with interest behind his thick glasses, and he also looked a bit vindicated that his theory had been proven correct. "I see… A white magic, then? Was this cast upon you, or did-"

"I _said_ I do not remember anything else. And as this is a highly confidential matter, I trust no one else in this room will recall this conversation, either…"

Despite his weak voice, the threat behind Tseng's words was clear. Dr. Welsh instantly closed his mouth and nodded his understanding, having spent several decades working with the Turks and high ranking members of SOLDIER. Elena swallowed nervously as she nodded as well, though part of her was a bit relieved that, for just a moment, the man lying helplessly on his back had been the strong and dangerous leader of the Turks again. There was a moment of awkward silence, but the doctor quickly cleared his throat, consulted the chart in his hands, then continued the visit as if nothing had happened. Elena's mind was still reeling with what she'd just learned, but she did her best to pay attention.

"All of your vital signs have been stable, and there's no indication of any infection so far," Dr. Welsh said, sounding pleased and completely relaxed again. "The wound is going to take some time to heal, however… It was so extensive that I couldn't completely suture and staple it closed. You'll have quite a scar, and it will be very sensitive for a long time. The internal injuries and broken bones are going to take time as well, so unfortunately you'll just have to be patient and still for a while. That's also why you need to remain lying as you are for now."

Elena felt a smile spread across her face, and the tension in her body relaxed as the doctor spoke. It was so good to hear him speak positively of Tseng's chances for recovery, and to know for certain that he was going to be all right. He had a long and painful fight ahead of him, but she was willing to be there the entire time if he wanted her to be. All that mattered was that he was not going to die, and that he would indeed heal from his injuries. She noticed that Tseng looked less relieved, however, his expression still guarded and concerned.

"How long will it be until I can return to duty?" he asked, and Elena fought not to visibly cringe. She'd had a feeling he was going to ask that question… and she'd been dreading it. Dr. Welsh seemed to have been, too, and his pleased expression was instantly replaced by a thoughtful frown. He sighed softly and paused for several moments before speaking again, and when he did so he seemed to be trying to avoid looking at his patient.

"I'm afraid I can't answer that for certain at this point in time," Dr. Welsh said, his usual confident tone hesitant. "But to be completely honest with you… I'm not sure you'll ever reach that point."

"No. That is unacceptable. You know I cannot allow that," Tseng said firmly, though Elena detected an instant panic beneath his tone.

"It's not really a matter of 'allowing' anything," the doctor said with a reluctant frown, shaking his head sadly. "Your body has been through a tremendous amount of trauma and multiple serious injuries, any one of which could have put you out of commission or worse. The combination of them, and the massive blood loss, along with the actual wound itself… You're also not a young man any more. Let me see, you're going to be how old this year…?"

"Don't."

Elena cringed inwardly with guilt, as she had already gathered that information on her own. Apparently it really _was_ something he did not want anyone to know. She wasn't sure why, as he certainly was _not_ old as far as she was concerned, nor did he even look as old as he actually was.

"I just don't feel it's very likely you'll be able to pass the physical to return to duty, much less handle such a strenuous job again… and I'm very sorry to have to tell you that," Dr. Welsh continued. "You ought to feel lucky to be alive, and focus on achieving one small goal at a time. Once you're up and getting around a bit, then perhaps we can talk about this again. Anything is possible, after all!"

"Lucky…" Tseng muttered, closing his eyes as the doctor replaced his chart and sighed under his breath. Elena frowned and glanced at Dr. Welsh, and he shrugged apologetically. She knew it wasn't his fault that he'd had to deliver such bad news, but she was already sick to her stomach with worry. Tseng may have only been showing mild outward signs of frustration and disappointment, but she knew he had to be devastated… and that his emotions on the matter would have an enormous impact on his attitude and recovery.

"All right, then," Dr. Welsh said, looking over the monitors a final time and nodding with satisfaction. "Unless you have any other questions, I've got to go and prepare for surgery. Is there anything else I can do for you today?"

There was a long, awkward pause, during which Tseng did not even open his eyes again. He remained completely still, but Elena knew he had not fallen asleep that quickly. He was no longer heavily sedated, and he hadn't been given his pain medication in several hours. In fact, she expected to his nurse to appear at any moment. Elena bit her bottom lip and looked helplessly at Dr. Welsh, finally forcing a weak smile and reaching out to shake his hand.

"I guess that's it for now. Thank you, Doctor," she said, trying to sound as if nothing was wrong.

Dr. Welsh nodded, threw a final concerned glance in Tseng's direction, then exited the room. His usual quick footsteps seemed just a bit more hurried than usual as he vanished down the hallway. Elena watched him go, swallowing hard as she realized she was now alone with her very unhappy boss and had no idea what to do.

"Are you still awake, sir?" she asked, even though she knew full well that he was. It seemed the easiest way to break the silence, though, and the safest question.

"Yes," he said quietly after a long pause, though he did not bother to open his eyes.

"You… never told us there was someone else in the temple other than the man who hurt you," Elena said, dropping into the chair at his bedside and watching his expression closely.

"It was not important."

"It sure seems like it was if this person saved your life… Do you know who it was? Why were they in there?"

"I don't want to talk about it."

Elena ground her teeth, struggling for a moment not to lash out in frustration. He was still her superior, after all, and he was hurting and had just received upsetting news. It wasn't wise or fair to push the issue just then. "All right…"

She watched the clock as fifteen minutes passed in silence. Tseng remained completely still, eyes closed, as if playing dead might make it so. Did his job really mean so much to him that the thought of being unable to return to it was so upsetting to him? When she thought about it, though, what else did he have? She bit her lip to keep the tears from filling her eyes, the very idea that Tseng had nothing else in his life but his position with the Turks too depressing to bear. He was such a good man, and she saw so much hidden just beneath the surface that she longed to uncover. How could he be so alone in the world? It made no sense, and she wished she had the chance to change it.

When she could stand the silence no longer, she reached out and covered his hand with hers, noting that he tensed with surprise. His eyes opened and shifted in her direction, his expression a mixture of exhaustion combined with annoyance and sorrow.

"He can't possible know yet whether or not you'll be able to go back to work," Elena said gently, holding his gaze and trying to convey a confidence she did not feel. "And he doesn't know you. He has no idea how dedicated and stubborn you are. You heard what he said… it's too early to know for sure anyway. So don't let that get you down and make you stop fighting, okay? You've been doing great, and… I'm proud of you."

Tseng held her gaze a moment longer, then quickly turned away and closed his eyes again.

"I'd like to be alone now, please," he said, his tone cold and devoid of emotion. Shocked speechless and recoiling as if she'd been physically struck, Elena quickly withdrew her hand and rose from the chair. She quickly backed away, nearly tripping before turning and retreating to her cot.

She folded her legs beneath her and rested her chin in both hands, squeezing her eyes closed against the pain. She had reached out to comfort him, and he'd sent her away. She knew he was hurting and that it likely wasn't personal, but it still burned her deeply and she fought not to give in to tears. All she wanted to do was comfort and support him, but he simply would not let her. Did he not want her to… or did he simply not know how to accept? As Elena glanced up and watched a young nurse enter the room to give Tseng his next dose of pain medication, he barely stirred. It was as if he had shut down and thrown up defensive walls around himself. And then it hit her.

Elena's stomach came alive with butterflies when she realized there was far more to standing by Tseng as he healed from such severe trauma than just aiding him during his physical recovery. His injury and the long journey back to good health was bound to have a profound impact on his mental health as well, something she had begun to see as his mood slowly soured over the last few days. It was now all too clear that he was suffering emotionally almost as much as he was physically, no matter how hard he'd been trying to hide it and how good he usually was at masking his feelings. Gods, what had she gotten herself into? She'd never even considered that she might have to support him that way as well, and he already did not seem to want her there when he was so incapacitated. But he had no one else, and now more than ever Elena was not going to abandon him no matter how difficult or uncomfortable things became. He would have to order her to leave first, and even then she would probably try to have Reno overrule him as acting head of the department. Tseng was not thinking clearly and was too upset to keep his own best interests in mind. He hid it well, but after spending so much time with him during her training Elena saw it as clear as day. She had no idea how she was going to manage, or if he would ever accept her support, but as she laid back on the cot Elena felt a renewed determination to do everything she could for him.

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((**Author's Notes: **I am _so sorry _for the huge delay in posting this chapter. First of all, as I previously posted in my author's notes for Transformations, we had lost my brother's beloved and much spoiled cat a couple weeks ago when he escaped from the house. We searched for four days, round the clock, in rain or shine… but we FOUND HIM the day before my birthday. The whole thing exhausted me physically and emotionally, however, and I hit a bit of a slump (some of you may know I have chronic health issues which sometimes floor me and slow my ability to update). Then I caught a bad cold. THEN freaking **Hurricane Sandy **arrived. I live just outside Philadelphia, PA, and have almost all my life. We only got rain and some fairly impressive wind, but on Monday, October 29th, we lost power in the afternoon, and cable/internet also went down in the area. So we had no heat, no food in the house, no _nothing_. I only have a very basic phone, so while I could text my beta (Cykeclops, you kept me sane and motivated!) and a few other friends, I could only check my e-mail sometimes, and the damn thing's battery dies in hours. We had a small generator to run the fridge and oven for a few hours in the evening when everyone else was home, and also my computer so I could use my word processor to write, which is how I got this and my chapter for Transformations finished. So they've been sitting here mostly done, but unable to reach my beta or all of you. The power finally came back just before midnight on Saturday November 3rd. 6 whole days! Again, I apologize, but… act of nature, not my fault! Haha. I hope the wait was worth it.

- As for the chapter itself, kinda depressing there. I mean, Tseng is going to live and heal up over time, and now the cat is out of the bag that someone cast a very strong white magic healing spell on him (If you read Irony of Fate, you know who. ;). But he is not happy to hear that he may not make it back to work. Poor Elena is taking the brunt of that for trying to help him and got pretty burned at the end, and neither of them really knows how to relate to one another in this situation. Should make things interesting coming up! We'll see what's going on inside Tseng's head next chapter, and what happens when the two of them next attempt to talk. As long as no more stupid storms come and send me back to the dark ages, it should be within a week or so… lol. Thanks again for the reviews and new favs/follows! I love you guys! _~ JenesisX_ ))


	9. Chapter Nine: Moral Support

**Chapter Nine: Moral Support**

Tseng drifted into a fitful sleep after being given his medication, his mind filled with troubling dreams. He was unable to find rest or escape the painful reality he was trapped within. It had almost come as a relief when he was awakened by Nurse Becky to have his bandaging changed a few hours later, though he found the process both extremely painful and embarrassing. It also brought home yet again just how helpless and at the mercy of others he was.

Because of Dr. Welsh's beliefs regarding his chances of returning to duty, Tseng had decided to try to look at the wound for the first time. He'd just barely been able to lift his head enough while Becky's male assistant held him up to get a brief look at the damage to his body, and almost immediately wished he hadn't. It was indeed a deep, ugly wound that extended nearly the entire length of his torso from left to right in a diagonal line. Countless sutures and staples marred his flesh like the tracks of the Midgar railway, yet parts of the wound still remained open and oozing. He'd seen plenty of serious injuries before, but was forced to quickly close his eyes as he fought a wave of nausea. Suddenly the unrelenting agony and burning in his chest made far more sense… as did the doctor's devastating words.

After the nurses had left him tucked in bed with fresh bandaging, he'd closed his eyes but been unable to return to sleep despite the extra dose of pain medication he'd been given due to the additional discomfort he'd just endured. Becky had been concerned by his silence and sullen demeanor throughout the ordeal, but he didn't care. There was simply too much on his mind.

Tseng had never before considered what his life would be like without the Turks. He'd always assumed he would be a Turk until the day he died, likely in the line of duty. There was no 'afterwards.' He had no backup plan, no alternate path to follow. When he thought about his world and removed being a Turk, he found that he was left with… nothing. He didn't know how to do anything else, _be _anything else. It was all that had ever been familiar outside of Wutai, and he had nowhere else to go. It was all he had known since he was a young man, and all he had ever really enjoyed and excelled at. There was nothing else he wanted to even consider as far as a job or career. But even further… being a Turk had become his whole _identity_.

Panic set in as he realized his entire existence, in so many ways, depended on remaining with the Turks. His few friends were all Turks, and he had lived comfortably within Shin-ra Headquarters for a long time. His life revolved around his work schedule. Everyone in Midgar and even beyond knew him as the department head and leader of the elite division, not as the man he truly was. No one really knew him outside of his job, as if that person had ceased to exist beyond his apartment walls. Who was he, then, without his position, and what would happen should he lose it? After hours, he was nothing more than a displaced Wutaiian in his late thirties who came home to an empty apartment when he was not away on assignment, clinging to what he could of a culture he'd been forced to leave behind while still struggling to hide what remained of his accent, spending his evenings reading or watching television when he didn't bring his work home with him. He sometimes socialized with Reno and Rude, but otherwise kept to himself. And all the while he pretended he was satisfied, that he didn't realize time and life were passing him by, that he didn't long for…

_Gods, what am I thinking? _

He frowned, disgusted with himself for the lapse in self-control. But at the same time, he couldn't help but admit that there was a lot of truth in that image of his life. What was he going to do if he actually couldn't return to duty? Tseng had never felt more lost and alone than he did at that moment, swallowing hard and gripping the sheets of his bed with his right hand. His entire world had been shaken to its core, and nothing made sense. He wanted everything back the way it was, peaceful and orderly, his role secure. And he wanted Elena to return.

That final thought took him completely off guard, and it served to halt his frantic thoughts in mid stream. Why did he always think of her when he felt alone and frightened about his future? Was it simply because she had been with him the most as his trainee and partner over the past year? Or because she had been at his bedside since he'd arrived at the hospital? Or due to something else… something he still struggled to admit to himself even in quiet moments of self reflection. He _felt _something for her he didn't quite recognize, something that was more than physical attraction or a passing interest. Deep inside, he knew _exactly_ what it was, and had for some time… but he was not ready to name it. The idea was too foreign, too dangerous, and too frightening to consider, and now was definitely not the time.

Tseng groaned miserably and wished he could finally fall asleep, if only to escape the pain and uncertainty that had become his world. As irrational as he knew it was, the drugs often confused his thoughts and allowed him to hope that he might wake up and find that everything had been a bad dream. He'd find that he'd been safe in his bed back in Midgar all along, without a giant tear in his chest and the threat of the end of his career hanging above his head like the reaper's sickle…

He had just begun to fade from consciousness when the sound of soft footsteps entering the room caught his attention. He tensed but kept his eyes closed, hoping it was not another nurse about to disturb him. Despite the extra pain relief, he still ached from being manipulated and having the soiled bandages removed from his extremely tender and partially open wound, and was not sure how cooperative he'd manage to be if anyone else attempted to touch him. He was a modest man who preferred his own space under normal circumstances, and having largely unfamiliar hospital staff changing and bathing him, in addition to everything else, was already pushing his tolerance to its limits. He began to struggle to breathe with the expectation of further pain and humiliation, doing his best to calm his mind and convince himself he was being ridiculous. He could and would endure.

To his surprise, a small, warm hand settled on top of his right one, familiar fingers curling gently around his palm. _Elena. _She must have thought he was asleep… Tseng continued the illusion, unsure of what to do as he recalled the way she had tried to comfort him earlier in the day. He'd refused to speak with her and sent her away, the hurt in her eyes still clear in his memory. A bolt of pain independent of his injuries struck him, and he hated himself for the way he'd been treating her. She was only trying to help and didn't deserve it… but he was so frustrated and embarrassed for her to see him that way that he didn't know how else to react. It was all new to him, but he knew he had to do better. He was a man of honor, it was not proper to treat a woman who had gone out of her way for him so rudely no matter how unwell he felt.

He considered how to let her know he was awake without frightening her or making her uncomfortable, deciding to wait a bit and see what happened. He knew she was sitting in the chair beside his bed, able to feel her gentle blue eyes upon him. Her hand upon his was soothing somehow, and his breathing had quickly become easier, his troubled thoughts calm for the moment. All he could think about was the warmth of her skin against his, and why she had returned to his side after the way he'd been acting. Was it because it was still her assignment to be there? But if so, surely it wasn't necessary for her to sit at his bedside and hold his hand…

"Don't get upset, but I am awake," he finally said a few minutes later, a soft gasp escaping her lips as he opened his eyes and managed to turn his head slightly in her direction. Her eyes were wide when he looked up and met her shocked gaze, her cheeks flushing a deep crimson. She began to awkwardly withdrawal her hand from his, but the frown on his face halted her in mid motion.

"You don't have to do that," he said quietly, feeling his own face grow warm. "I don't mind." _What an understatement… and cowardly at that._

Elena paused uncertainly, her hand suspended in mid air, swallowing nervously as she cautiously studied him. Tseng managed to form a weak smile, shifting his arm closer toward her to show that he meant it. She finally reached out and gently covered his hand with hers again, staring down at their hands and seeming unable to meet his eyes again. In a way he was relieved, since he felt as awkward as she did. Perhaps more so.

"I… I'm sorry, sir. I didn't mean to disturb you. I just thought… since they gave you a second dose of pain medication, and your eyes were closed… I was _sure _you were asleep. But I shouldn't have-"

"Please relax, Elena. I was resting, but there was too much on my mind. I am… glad you came back."

Tseng was surprised at himself the moment the words were out of his mouth, and from her expression it was obvious Elena was, too. He still felt the drowsy warmth and pleasant relaxation of the pain medication blanketing his mind and body, and the relief of her presence at his side once again only added to it. Her hand resting upon his didn't hurt, either, and he wished he had both the strength and the nerve to turn his hand over and take a hold of it. Was it the drugs loosening his tongue, or had he just had too much time to reflect on the feelings that had been developing over the last year?

"You… you are?" Elena asked, her tone genuinely surprised and a bit puzzled. "You've seemed so annoyed with me the last few days. I-I thought…" She paused and shook her head, still staring down at her hand resting atop his much larger one as if awed. "I thought you were going to ask me to leave and not come back."

Tseng sighed quietly, briefly closing his eyes and wishing he could rub his temples to relieve some of the pressure. He had started this conversation, though, and he wanted to apologize for how he'd treated her earlier. But personal conversations of this nature had always been awkward and uncomfortable for him, and when it came to _her_… He suddenly felt sick to his stomach, and Elena squeezed his hand tightly as if she somehow sensed his discomfort. That disturbed him yet again, though after so long working closely together he often felt that he could anticipate her actions and read her mind as well. How strange, to know each so well on one hand, yet feel so clueless on the other…

"No, I wouldn't do that," he told her, his voice nearly a whisper. He saw her lean forward a bit in order to hear him better. It reminded him how of everyone he knew, she was the one who least often needed to ask him to repeat himself, something that meant the world to a man who remained self conscious about his accent. "I'm sorry if I've made you think that."

Elena finally glanced up and met his eyes, and though he saw the beginning of tears shining within them she didn't allow them to fall. Tseng forced himself to steadily meet her gaze and hold it, wanting her to know how sincere he was. He didn't expect to feel the powerful rush of emotion that raced through him, setting his mind and body ablaze. He swore in that moment there was a connection between them that she had to feel as well, and she gripped his hand tightly before she finally looked away.

"So… you _do _want me to stay then?" she asked hopefully, a slight tremble in her voice as she absently ran her thumb across the back of his hand. It made it difficult for him to concentrate, but he cleared his throat and looked away from the hypnotic movement, back up toward her face.

"Yes. I… am going to need a lot of assistance," he told her, swallowing his pride while also masking so much of the true reason he wanted her to stay. _Needed _her to stay. "I don't know for how long. I realize you will have to return to your regular assignments eventually, and that I may not be able to… to…"

Tseng closed his eyes and trailed off, unable to continue. It hurt so much he was unable to speak the words, grinding his teeth instead as his mind was filled with dreadful images. His breathing grew ragged again and he was unaware of how much time passed until he heard Elena's voice as if from a great distance, her hand now resting upon his right shoulder.

"Sir?! Are you okay? Do I need to call the nurse? Sir?"

Tseng blinked, looking up at her in a daze. She had risen from her chair and wore an expression of alarm, as if she had been trying to reach him for some time. He took a deep breath and cringed at the burning agony it caused in his chest, momentarily confused until he remembered what they had been discussing. He cringed and closed his eyes, ashamed and humiliated by the display of weakness. He hated for her to see him in such a state, but at least he knew she would not betray him and tell anyone else. He knew he could trust her.

"I'm fine," he said quietly, watching Elena's doubtful expression as she gently smoothed a stray lock of hair from his forehead before returning to her chair. The way she touched him was so tender, so gentle, that it sent chills down his spine and made him long for more. At that moment, his body broken and his wounded soul crying out in agony, he gazed up at her and very nearly begged her to hold him. But he quickly scolded himself and reigned in his emotions, blaming pain, exhaustion and the strong drugs before taking a moment to regain control of himself. Still, he didn't feel as if he could trust himself to say anything more. He'd begun to grow quite tired, and it became a struggle just to keep his eyes open and concentrate on Elena's words.

"I'll be here to help you for as long as you need me," she said, leaning forward and taking his hand between both of hers. "And please… _please_ don't lose hope about returning to work. It's only been a week since you got hurt, and Dr. Welsh said you've been healing at an accelerated rate already. He can't possibly know yet whether or not you'll be able to, or when. You just can't give up, sir! If you let this get you down and stop fighting, then you really might not be able to. But… even if you… can't return to duty, I… I'm not going to abandon you, okay? We've been through too much together, and I, uh… care about you. Don't forget that."

"_All right," _he answered in Wutaiian without realizing, though she seemed to understand what he meant. "And… please stop calling me 'sir' while I'm in here," he added as his eyes slid closed, his fingers curling around one of Elena's hands in an effort to keep her there as he slept. He was too tired and full of pride to ask, and he heard the legs of the chair scrape against the floor as she moved it closer to his bed. Tseng may have remained confused about his feelings for her and embarrassed by his behavior, but as he finally gave in to exhaustion he at least felt more secure and able to rest for a while.

* * *

((**Author's Notes: **Well, as promised, this chapter is entirely from Tseng's POV. It's been hard to write much from his perspective thus far because he was either unconscious or heavily drugged, but now that he is more alert and starting to heal, he'll be a lot more active in the story. He's not very happy at this point, but he'll definitely be taking on a more active role. Not literally, of course, as we've just heard from the doctor, at least not yet. But he's a complex character, and he and Elena have a very complicated relationship they've both been avoiding dealing with. They may not have much of a choice now if she's going to stick around for the length of his recovery. Some touching and cute moments, but they've hardly sorted things out yet. Next chapter, Tseng's about had it with this hospital business! Can he and Elena find a way to spring him loose? Thanks so much for the reviews! You have no idea how happy they make me :D _~ JenesisX _))


	10. Chapter Ten: Escape Plan

**Chapter Ten: Escape Plan**

((**Author's Notes**: This chapter is dedicated to Blood-Sucker-1428 and Typedamon. Sometimes all it takes is that one special review to brighten your day and change your entire outlook. I can't say thank you enough! _~ JenesisX _))

* * *

Elena could hardly believe nearly two weeks had passed since Tseng's injury. Had she really spent that long inside the Junon Harbor medical center, watching and waiting, worrying as she did best to help him? When he would allow it, that was. After the conversation they'd had while he was still reeling from the sting of learning he may never be able to return to the Turks, they'd barely spoken past what was necessary. She sighed heavily as she walked along the sterile corridor with her hands deep inside the pockets of her blazer, watching her feet as she took each slow step forward.

She had thought that they were making progress, that the uncomfortable tension between them had finally broken. He had told her he actually _wanted_ her there at his side. He'd even allowed her to hold his hand as he drifted to sleep… Was it only because he'd been so heavily drugged and exhausted, overwhelmed by thoughts of losing everything he'd worked for nearly all of his adult life? Gods, she was so selfish to be thinking that way. This was not about her feelings and whatever may or may not exist between them. All that mattered was his recovery, and her presence there was meant to aid him and nothing more. Elena was just another Turk on assignment. She would do well to remember that…

She bit her lip, barely noticing the familiar sights and sounds of the medical center's identical hallways as she turned the corner. She took her time, working out the stiffness in her limbs as she fought to gather her thoughts. She was also trying to kill a bit more time before returning to Tseng's room, because the nurses had arrived to change his bandaging and attend to his other personal needs a while before. Elena always made herself scarce during those times out of respect for him. He'd never asked her to do so, and the nurses never said anything to her about it, but she always left immediately when she saw them approaching his room. It would have felt very wrong to see her boss in a further state of undress even if he hadn't cared, but she knew instinctively that he did… very much. She also had to admit that she was a bit frightened to see his wound exposed. In the Temple of the Ancients, when it was wide open and gaping, she had seen his ribs and parts of his intestines right through the deep tear in his flesh, and she could still picture it in her mind when she closed her eyes. Though she was certain it looked much better now that it was mostly stitched closed and had had some time to heal, she still did not relish the idea of viewing it again. Though not overly squeamish by any means, she had never seen anyone so close to death before, and the fact that it was someone she cared for so deeply made it far more traumatic.

She glanced down at her watch, noting that her lunch break and short walk had passed about an hour's time. The nurses usually finished up in about forty-five minutes when they did a bandage change, bathed him, and took care of whatever else she preferred not to think about. Being completely bedridden was an unpleasant business, something she hoped she would never have to experience. Her heart bled for Tseng, and it only made her want to reach out to him more. But he seemed determined to bear it alone, keeping her at arm's length as he suffered in silence. She was amazed at his strength, but deeply concerned for his well being. She knew he was hurting as much emotionally as he was physically, but he simply wouldn't talk about it. He had shut down and become even more distant than his typical reserved demeanor, and she was helpless to do a thing about it. Elena felt useless as she approached his room, spotting Nurse Becky at one of the small staff stations nearby. Unsure if everyone was finished taking care of Tseng, she took a deep breath and approached. The head of the nursing department took a moment to notice her, busily typing something into a computer. When she noticed Elena a moment later she looked up with her usual bright smile and immediately got to her feet.

"Hello, honey!" she said, coming out from behind her station and placing a warm hand on Elena's shoulder. Despite her concerns and fatigue, she couldn't help but smile back, the short, stocky woman's cheer always contagious. How she could remain so positive in a place surrounded by such tension and pain was nothing short of amazing. "How have you been?"

"I'm all right," Elena said, trying her best not to sound as depressed as she felt. "I was just taking a walk while… he was being tended to."

"Ah. Well, they're just finishing up remaking his bed and getting him settled in," Becky told her, her warm brown eyes reassuring. "I changed his bandaging first, because I have the magic touch and he hates it so much." Elena managed a weak smile of gratitude, once again relieved that Tseng had been assigned the best doctor and nurse on the base. "He never complains, but I can tell it really hurts. That's why I always make sure he gets extra medication afterwards, too, whether he asks for it or not. He's a _stubborn_ one!"

"Yes," Elena agreed with a brief laugh, shaking her head. It felt good somehow to hear that his personality remained unchanged even when he could do so little.

"He's healing well, though," Becky said, glancing down the hallway as the last nurse, a tall young man with blond hair, left Tseng's room with a bin of laundry that needed to be washed. Elena followed her gaze, a nervous flutter coming to life in the pit of her stomach. "The wound is completely scabbed over now with no sign of any infection. He has a long way to go, and he's still healing internally, but he's going to be just fine with time. That is one lucky man."

"I know…"

Elena's eyes remained locked on the doorway to Tseng's room, her pulse beginning to pound at her temples. Her mind started to race, wondering what she ought to do. Should she wait a while until he'd had time to relax, or just slip back inside and quietly return to her cot in the far corner? Would he already be asleep? Did she _want _him to be?

"Go on, hon," Becky said quietly, her hand returning to Elena's shoulder in the effortless motherly manner she had. "This is really hard for him whether he admits it or not. I'm sure he'll be happy to see you."

"I'm not sure about that," Elena said quietly, barely realizing she had spoken aloud as her gaze remained rooted to the doorway.

"Oh, _I _am," Becky whispered knowingly, a crooked grin on her face as she leaned in a bit closer. "Trust me on this one... I _know_ his type. I know how much you care about him, too… And I think it's adorable."

Elena's head snapped in her direction, her mouth dropping open as she was jarred from her thoughts. Her face flushed crimson as she stared at the nurse before looking around in horror, finding no one else close enough to have overheard. Her heart raced as the shock fully registered, panic racing through her body. She tried to respond, but the words wouldn't come. Becky only shook her head and smiled, gently turning Elena back toward Tseng's room and giving her a slight nudge forward.

"I'll be by in a few hours to check on him," Becky said in her normal tone, quickly retreating behind her station and sitting back down at her computer. "See you later!" When Elena glanced back at her and attempted to protest, Becky simply winked, quickly looked down, and began to type at a high rate of speed. Another nurse Elena had seen a few times entered the station a moment later and sat at the computer beside Becky, ending any possibility of a further private discussion.

Elena swallowed hard and forced herself to continue down the corridor, finally reaching the glass wall outside Tseng's private intensive care unit. She paused and peered inside, her heart still racing and her face flushed. He was lying in a freshly made bed, tucked in to his waist and wearing a clean shirt, mostly left unbuttoned, over clean bandaging. His left arm remained stretched out flat at his side, multiple intravenous lines and monitors running into his wrist and elbow and even a few of his fingers. His right arm was free, casually draped across the uninjured section of his abdomen. He was still lying on his back, though she noted that his head was propped up on a few additional pillows so that he wasn't left completely flat and unable to see anything going on in the room. His eyes were closed and his expression peaceful, and she assumed he was likely asleep due to the ordeal and the extra pain medication. Even if he was awake, he would probably just ignore her as he had been the last week anyway…

Elena quietly made her way through the doorway and into the room, her soft footsteps masked by the usual sounds of the busy medical center that had become a part of her existence. She glanced at Tseng as she passed his bed, but he didn't move a muscle.

_Good… He _is _sleeping._

She immediately felt guilty for the thought, and was confused a moment later when a rush of disappointment washed over her. She sat down on her cot and frowned, tucking her legs beneath her and propping her head up on her elbow. So did she want him to be asleep or not?! Why did everything have to be so damn confusing… and why did he have to look so handsome even lying there in a hospital bed? She sighed quietly and closed her eyes, suddenly aware of the headache that had begun to form at her temples. Maybe she would lay down and take a nap, too. She'd been sleeping so little, even though Tseng still slept the majority of the day and nearly all of the night, and it was beginning to take its toll. As a Turk she was used to working while sleep deprived, but there was little she could do right now but sit and stare, and the cot she'd been provided was actually rather comfortable.

She turned around and fluffed the pillow, moving aside the book she'd been reading and unfolding the fresh blanket the nurses must have dropped off when they'd changed Tseng's bedding. They really had been quite accommodating, no doubt because of his status with the company and the fact that she was armed and in uniform. She yawned, stretched, and leaned down to start unlacing her heavy black boots.

"I cannot do this much longer…"

Elena froze, the laces of her right boot still held between her fingers. She slowly straightened and perched on the end of the cot, swallowing nervously as she looked across the room. Tseng still looked exactly as he had the last time she'd glanced his way. Even his eyes remained closed. Yet he'd spoken as if he was wide awake, though his voice remained a bit weak due to the damage to his left lung and how infrequently he'd been speaking. The effect was a bit eerie, and it took her a moment to get over her shock. He had taken her completely off guard, and she got the distinct impression he had done it on purpose.

"You're doing so well, though," she said once she trusted herself to speak, watching him for any sign of a reaction. "I know you're hurting, but you get a little better every day, and-"

"I don't mean the injury, Elena. I am capable of handling pain."

His eyes were open now, and this time his tone was harsh. She'd offended him, she quickly realized, wincing involuntarily. He slowly turned his head in her direction, his dark eyes locking with hers.

"I-I'm sorry, sir. I didn't mean to imply tha-"

"I told you to stop calling me that!" he interrupted with a frown, a rare flash of anger now blazing in his eyes. "I do not deserve that respect when I have become a useless invalid." The shame in his voice was as thick as his accent had become, and Elena felt almost physically ill as the power of his emotions filled the small room. Tseng sighed wearily and closed his eyes again, as if he regretted ever beginning the conversation.

_Shit… This is not going well._

Elena forced herself not to react, taking a deep breath and fighting to calm her nerves. A year ago, she would have fallen apart and fled the room in tears. But she had matured a lot in that time, and she'd had an amazing mentor who taught her self discipline, confidence, and how to remain cool under difficult circumstances. She knew Tseng was in a lot of pain and hated being handled by the nursing staff, doing her best not to take his dark mood personally. It was made so much harder by her feelings for him, but at that moment how she felt didn't matter. Tseng was always so stoic, so calm, and revealed so little of himself that he had to be really suffering for his emotions to be so close to the surface. The strong medication played a large part as well, and she was not about to hold his frustration and slight loss of temper against him. He had been amazingly quiet and had not complained about the pain of his injury even _once_, something she found nearly superhuman, so he was certainly entitled to be in foul mood now and then. She'd wanted him to talk to her, after all, and she'd had a feeling he was not doing as well mentally as he was physically. She had promised to be there for him, and she was going to do it.

By the time Tseng slowly opened his to look her way again, a cautious expression on his face, she had managed to collect herself and favored him with a slight smile.

"Can we try that again?" she asked softly, hesitantly climbing to her feet and eyeing the chair at his bedside that had sat unused for far too long. He followed her gaze but said nothing, finally lifting his free arm and making a slight gesture toward it.

Once Elena settled into the chair, Tseng turned away to stare at the ceiling. She nervously played with her hands, unsure of whether or not to speak. He had clearly meant to tell her something, but all of her attempts to respond had only upset him. She decided it was best to sit and wait, to give him time to collect his thoughts. If he had something he wanted to say, she was there and willing to listen, but she was not about to create another misunderstanding and get yelled at again. She didn't want to upset him, and she wasn't sure how much more she could take before she did finally crack and show weakness.

"I can't stay here…" Tseng finally said in nearly a whisper, his eyes never leaving the ceiling.

Elena blinked in surprise, though she still said nothing. So _that_ was what he'd meant… When she didn't reply, Tseng turned his head in her direction again, and she realized from his expression that he was expecting some kind of response. Though his eyes were a bit glassy from the medication, they remained alert and intense, and she realized that he was serious. The drugs may have loosened his tongue and brought his emotions closer to the surface, but he was still thinking clearly… she could see it in his eyes.

"Aren't they taking good care of you?" she asked him, genuinely confused. From all she had seen, the care he'd been receiving was excellent, and the simple fact that he had survived was evidence of that in and of itself. He'd been operated on by the most senior surgeon and doctor on the base, and the head nurse was in charge of his case and the one who most frequently cared for him. If he hadn't had the benefit of working for Shin-ra and been someone of such prominence, she had a feeling the outcome would have been very different. A chill ran down her spine and she quickly banished the thought.

"Yes, but..." he paused and frowned, his eyes returning to the ceiling. He seemed unsure of whether or not he wished to continue, and Elena leaned back into the chair and attempted to appear calm and patient. Inside, though, her stomach was tying itself in knots and her mind was a blur. Tseng had finally decided to speak to her again, and she had a feeling there was something very important on his mind that he had been holding back for some time. "I am not comfortable here."

"Why?" she asked, wishing he would look at her again even though her heart fluttered every time their eyes met. "Is there anything I can get for you to make things better?"

"My dignity…"

The words were spoken so quietly that they took a moment to register, and when they did the shame in his voice shook Elena to her core. She wanted to reach out and take his hand, all the while fighting a brief urge to stand and flee the room. She had no idea what to do, what to say. Fresh tears burned her eyes but she grit her teeth and fought them away. She was a Turk, and she also needed to be there for him the way she had promised. Yet she found she didn't know how to respond, staring at him helplessly as his eyes remained locked on the ceiling tiles.

"I tire of laying here, helpless, at the mercy of strangers," Tseng continued, keeping his tone flat and emotionless. Even so, Elena knew there were intense feelings behind each word, buried just beneath the surface. "I feel so vulnerable, and it is… humiliating, to have them bathing and changing me like an infant. I will not remain here and allow my body to be used as a paycheck for people who have no respect for me."

"W-what do you mean? Did someone do something to hurt you?" she asked him, her voice breaking with concern. She was supposed to be watching over him. Had she missed something? Had someone been mistreating him when he was unable to protect himself? Maybe leaving when he was being tended to had been a huge mistake…

"No, no," he said, sounding almost annoyed by the suggestion, as if he thought he could have defended himself if necessary. "It isn't that… though I am sick of being referred to as 'that Wutaiian' by the young male nurse when he's talking to the others, and he treats me like an inanimate object." He paused and sighed heavily, closing his eyes again as if it made what he was revealing easier to say. "I'm tired of lying here so exposed, on display to anyone who passes by. I'm tired of all the noise, the constant light, of being disturbed at all hours because it fits into someone else's schedule. I'm tired of people touching me whenever they like, studying me like a specimen, remarking over and over again how miraculous I am while staring at me like fools. I just want to go home, where I can recover in privacy with my honor intact."

The pain was so obvious in his expression that Elena felt it as clearly as if someone had struck her in the heart, and she had to look down into her lap to keep from being overwhelmed. She knew he was unhappy with his situation, but had not realized just how deeply being hospitalized for so long was affecting him. As he had spoken those words, she could hear in his voice that he was wounded to his soul, a man whose strong sense of honor was offended. Even though he had tried to hide his emotions beneath his monotone, she had heard them loud and clear, and it took everything she had not to cry.

She bit her cheek as she watched him, his eyes still closed and a severe frown on his face. Unable to stand it any longer, she reached out and took a hold of his hand. His fingers remained rigid for a moment, but he finally relaxed and even curled them lightly around her much smaller hand. A brief surge of relief rushed through her as the warmth of his touch removed the chill that had settled into her fingers, but he still didn't open his eyes.

"I saw Nurse Becky in the hallway before I came back inside," Elena said, her voice naturally taking on a quiet, soothing tone. Tseng opened his eyes and turned to look at her with interest. "She said you're healing really well and your wound looks good. So you're making a lot of progress. You'll be out of here before you know it."

"I need you to help me convince Doctor Welsh that I am capable of taking care of myself and would heal more quickly in my quarters, where I can rest more peacefully," Tseng said, completely ignoring her words. His eyes locked with hers and she was unable to look away, a jolt of electricity running through her. She felt his grip tighten on her hand, desperately hoping he couldn't tell how much something as simple as eye contact affected her.

"But si- Tseng… I really don't know if that's such a good idea," she said weakly, finally managing to blink under his insistent gaze. He couldn't really think he was in any condition to be released from the medical center, could he? He still had a huge wound in his chest that remained sutured and stapled shut, healing internal injuries, multiple intravenous lines… not to mention that he was not eating or drinking on his own and was still breathing with the assistance of an oxygen line fixed beneath his nose. He was also unable to get out of bed for gods' sake! What did he think he was going to do if released? But he continued to look at her with complete conviction in his eyes, frowning at her words.

"Why not? I am more than capable of taking care of myself. I may need a bit of assistance at first, but you said you would help me, yes?"

Elena swallowed hard. "Of… of course! I just don't know if…"

He watched her closely as she studied him, her mind racing. She fought to keep her expression unreadable, something else he'd been working to teach her. She looked him over doubtfully, taking in the thick bandaging wrapped around his torso, all the wires and tubes, and the weak, exhausted look in his eyes he was trying so hard to hide. While she did indeed have some experience caring for the sick and injured, it certainly did _not_ include anything like this. How in the hell was she supposed to help care for a grown man, and a rather large one at that, who could not even sit up on his own as far as she had seen? She was strong for her small stature, but there was simply no way she could lift him.

"Is something wrong?" he asked when she stared a little too long, and she felt her cheeks flush crimson.

"N-no, I just… was thinking is all. About how that might be possible," she lied, kicking herself the moment the words were out of her mouth. But there was such hope in his eyes, such determination, and he was counting on _her_ to help him. He needed her, and leaving the hospital was all he wanted. How could she refuse him, as improbable as it may have seemed? Besides, this was Tseng, the man who led the Turks and had been her partner and mentor for the last year. She had never known him to be wrong, and he always made his decisions after careful consideration. It was obvious that he had given this matter a lot of thought, and if he believed it was the best option, she instinctively trusted him despite her initial doubts. He was the only one who really knew how he felt, after all, and what he was capable of. Maybe the hospital staff was holding him back, and he was ready to progress more than they would allow. Or maybe she just wanted to believe him and make him happy…

"Doctor Welsh is scheduled to see me tomorrow morning," Tseng informed her, doing his best to shift into a more comfortable position and trying to hide the resulting wince of pain. Elena took the fact that he was more upright in bed and able to move at all to be a positive sign, however. "I would like you to be here to help me convince him that I'd do well released to my quarters with a nurse assigned to visit me as an outpatient. That is what he did when I was shot a few years ago, and I do not see why he wouldn't be willing to do so again."

Elena had to bite her tongue to keep from reminding him that this was likely a much more serious injury. She wasn't sure one could even _have_ a more serious wound than his and still be alive. She was terrified that he was pushing himself far too hard because of his desire to get back to work and would end up doing something that might get him killed. She looked down at her hand wrapped loosely around his and kept her concerns to herself, certain he would not appreciate them, and even more sure he would not have listened anyway.

"All right," she said quietly, realizing she had backed herself in a corner. She wanted to please him, and she wanted to do whatever she could to assist him with his recovery… but she also wanted to protect him and make sure he was safe. Was it possible to do all of those things at once? And at the end of the road, would he hate her, or recognize how much she had cared and done her best?

"Thank you," Tseng said quietly, closing his eyes after failing to hold back a yawn. He seemed content with their agreement as the extra medication began to catch up with him, his hand relaxing in hers. His breathing soon grew deep and even, and she realized he had allowed himself to finally give in to sleep as soon as he knew there was hope he might soon be able to leave the medical center. Elena shook her head and leaned forward to rest her elbow on the bed, her other hand still holding his. As she watched him sleep, she was unable to shake the feeling that something very important had just happened.

* * *

((**Author's Notes: **Hey gang! Sorry for the update delay. If I'm honest, I fell into a severe bout of writer's block/depression, and had really become worried that I might not be doing my characters the justice they deserved. But my beta, a few good friends, and an awesome reader really helped me shake it off, and I think I've managed to pull this off reasonably well. Tseng's about had it with the hospital, but let's be honest. The guy is kidding himself if he thinks he's in any shape to go home no matter how badass he is. But he sort of half-guilts/half-leaders Elena into believing she ought to help him try to pull this off, even though she's got strong reservations. Next chapter, we'll see what Doctor Welsh thinks of this _brilliant _plan! Hint: Elena got herself in a _bit _deeper than she intended. I promise to do my best not to take so damn long! I appreciate all the new favs/follows, and most especially any reviews you can spare for me. Thank you! _~ JenesisX _))


	11. Chapter Eleven: A Bold Proposal

**Chapter Eleven: A Bold Proposal**

"Absolutely not. There is no way I can release someone in your condition to outpatient care. And I think you know that."

Dr. Welsh shook his balding head as he studied his patient, his expression almost incredulous. Elena couldn't really blame him, because she'd initially felt the same way. Tseng frowned, though his dark eyes were unreadable as they remained locked on the physician.

"What would I have to do to qualify?" Tseng asked, his tone carefully controlled as if he was involved in a sensitive negotiation. He had previous experience as an outpatient following his hospitalization for the bullet wound he'd sustained, Elena knew, and he clearly intended to take advantage of it. She noticed that his voice sounded much stronger today, and just the fact that he was propped up on several thick pillows instead of lying completely flat on his back seemed to have improved his confidence and made him more alert.

Dr. Welsh sighed and shook his head, setting down Tseng's thick chart and taking a seat on the rolling stool the nurses often used when changing his intravenous lines. "I wish you wouldn't try to rush things. You're doing so well and healing nicely. I'd hate for anything to happen to set you back, or worse. Why are you in such a hurry to leave? Are you not being treated well? Is there something I can do to change your mind?"

Tseng lifted his free hand and made a dismissive gesture. "I would heal better in a quieter, more private environment, and there are sensitive work matters I cannot tend to here."

Elena knew he would never tell the doctor his more personal reasons, but she was impressed with his answer. It was convincing and honest without revealing too much. In fact, it was so typically Tseng that she had to fight a smile. She tried not to fidget as she stood on the opposite side of the bed from the doctor, taking in the discussion without interfering unless she was asked.

"I'm really not comfortable with the idea at all," Dr. Welsh expressed again, looking Tseng over doubtfully. "You still have a large wound, healing internal injuries and badly broken ribs…" He shook his head, pursing his lips and frowning in thought.

"You approved it last time I was under your care."

Tseng's quiet words were spoken almost like a challenge, and Elena suddenly felt a bit nervous. It was the same feeling she'd had when they were discussing the magic that had been used on him back in the temple, something she had still not had the courage to ask him about again. He steadily met the doctor's eyes, testing him, his expression cool and confident. There was a hint of danger just beneath the surface that made Elena shiver, reminding her that Tseng may not have been as helpless as he appeared.

"That was a _much_ less serious injury!" Dr. Welsh finally exclaimed, flustered but standing his ground.

Tseng nodded, his expression softening a bit. "I understand that. I realize I will need to meet certain requirements before you can release me."

Dr. Welsh sighed and nodded reluctantly. Elena had a feeling he would have told any other patient that the discussion was over a long time ago, but because of who Tseng was, it was much harder to refuse him. And even if he did, he would likely only receive a phone call from Rufus later on ordering him to do it anyway. She only hoped that her boss wasn't making a huge mistake that might cost him dearly. She wrung her hands behind her back as she stood quietly at his bedside, still unsure of what the best thing was for him. She knew it was not her decision, however, and kept her troubled thoughts to herself.

"Yes," the doctor admitted, "but for someone in your condition they are not small goals, and I don't want you to set your expectations too high and become frustrated when you're doing so well already. I know you might see me as the enemy right now, but I really do have your best interests in mind."

"I know, and I appreciate that," Tseng said, appearing a bit uncomfortable before he quickly hid it. "I assure you, however, that I am accustomed to working toward difficult goals."

"Very well, because I know you're going to insist no matter what I say," Dr. Welsh said with an exasperated smile. "To start, you need to be able to drink and eat on your own. You should be healed enough internally to start now, and that will be a few less tubes for you at least."

"Wonderful…"

"I'll put that in my orders today, to start you on liquids and soft food. You'll also need to show that you can keep your blood oxygen level in the normal range without assistance. We only send a nurse to visit outpatients a maximum of three times a day because of staff shortages, so that's how often it'll be checked once you leave here. Your left lung collapsed and also sustained permanent damage to the lower quadrant, and Nurse Becky reports that your breathing still sounds labored on that side fairly often. That concerns me, and I'm not sure what will happen once we remove your oxygen."

Tseng nodded and looked unconcerned, but Elena couldn't help but stare at the small clear tube that ran beneath his nose and snaked over his ears in horror. What if they removed it, and he couldn't breathe well enough on his own? Gods, why hadn't she thought of that before she agreed to help him work toward going home? At least if he was still there and it happened, they would know immediately and be able to assist him. But if he managed to get himself released… She swallowed nervously, suddenly feeling ill. Things were moving too quickly, and she was torn between her loyalty to Tseng and her common sense. She wished she had some time alone to think about the situation clearly without her emotions getting in the way, and without anyone else's input, but it was a luxury she simply hadn't had.

"Anything else?"

"We'll have to change all your medications to oral doses instead of intravenous, so you'll have to be able to swallow them and remember to take them on schedule. You'd also need to demonstrate the ability to walk from here, to the restroom, and back well enough to convince us you aren't a serious risk for a fall. We'll provide you with a walker, and you'll take it to your quarters with you as well."

Tseng rolled his eyes as if he had no intentions of using such a thing. Elena wondered if he realized how weak his injury had left him, or if he was just trying to protect his pride. She had serious doubts he could even hold his own weight, let alone actually walk across the small room. If the weakness and fatigue didn't bring him down, the pain certainly would. He was strong and determined, but even the toughest of men had their limits. The fact that Tseng didn't seem to think he had any concerned her greatly.

"I don't see any reason why I can't accomplish all of those things. And when I do, you will release me? I was told I was an ideal outpatient last time."

"This injury is a lot more serious, as I've told you _several _times," Dr. Welsh said, allowing a bit of frustration to slip into his normally pleasant tone. "There are slightly different rules for the highly rare and unusual event that someone in such a serious condition is allowed to be released as an outpatient."

Tseng frowned, his brow creasing with concern. "Oh?"

For just a moment, Elena felt a surge of relief rush through her. But at the same time, she felt sick with dread. Being released was all Tseng cared about, and if he learned he had to remain in the hospital indefinitely, she had no idea what it would do to his emotional health. She wanted him to be happy, but she also wanted to keep him safe. Gods, she didn't know _what_ she wanted any more. It was as if she was being pulled in two different directions and about to be ripped in half. She struggled to listen to Dr. Welsh speak when all she wanted to do was run from the room and curl up in her bed back in Midgar.

"Because of your condition, and how easily something could happen in the hours between the nurses' visits… a fall, sudden bleeding, difficult breathing, any number of complications… we only release severe cases like yours as outpatients if there is twenty-four hour supervision."

Tseng's frown deepened. "What exactly does that mean?"

"It means that someone has to be there with you literally twenty-four hours a day in your quarters. A spouse, a family member, _someone_ has to stay there and cannot leave you alone for any reason until your status is upgraded. Do you have anyone who could…?"

"No. I live alone."

The words were uttered so quickly, his tone so flat, that the absence of emotion was far louder than any he could have expressed. Elena winced, biting her cheek before she could react. Dr. Welsh looked distinctly uncomfortable for a moment, then filed Tseng's chart away and flashed his trademark smile.

"Well, go ahead and start working on those other things. I'm very impressed with how far you've come already, and either way you'll be out of here before you know it! Page me if you have any questions or need anything, all right?"

Tseng nodded quietly, a faraway look in his eyes. Elena shook the doctor's hand before he hurried from the room and down the hallway to his next appointment. She sighed heavily and dropped into the chair at Tseng's bedside, her mind still racing. While she was relieved to know he would remain physically safe within the walls of the hospital, she instantly felt guilty when she saw the vacant way he was staring up at the ceiling. He had been clinging to the idea of returning to his quarters like a lifeline, and now it was gone.

Or was it…?

Elena had told him she would remain at his side until he recovered, and assist him any way she could. She had agreed to help him get away from the medical center if it was in any way possible. She'd made Tseng a promise, and she had meant every word.

"Do you really think you could do all of those things he listed?" Elena heard herself ask him before she gave herself time to change her mind. He said nothing for long moments, his eyes now closed.

"Of course I could."

"How long do you think it would take you?"

"I don't know… a week? Perhaps a bit longer. What does it matter? He's not going to release me. It must be quite obvious to you by now that I don't have any family rushing to be at my side."

There was no bitterness in his words. They were spoken as mere facts, something that both puzzled and troubled Elena. She wished she knew him better or had the nerve to question him about it, but at the moment that wasn't what mattered.

She realized he was watching her as she tried to sort out her thoughts, so distracted that she hadn't realized he'd opened his eyes and turned his head her way. For just a moment, he looked so tired and defeated, but he quickly hid it behind his mask of professionalism. How she hated the way he could do that! Every time he seemed about to show some sign of how he really felt, to share some part of himself with her, the walls went up and he buried it far below the surface. Did he ever allow anyone to get to know him? Did he shield himself on purpose, or was it something he couldn't help or _had_ to do? So many questions, so much she wanted to know…

"Is something wrong?" he asked quietly. When he met her eyes, she was alarmed by how empty they were, as if the fight had gone out of them. She couldn't let him give up now! He had come so close to death, and had fought so hard to live. He'd beaten all the odds, and he needed to keep doing so if he ever hoped to return to the Turks. _Yes_, something was wrong! And it would be wrong forever if he couldn't return to the job he loved. It would be wrong if she couldn't see him there every day and had to try to continue on without him. She wanted to shout at him, reach out and take his hand, do _something_ to tell him how much he mattered and how much she cared. But she sat paralyzed, unable to speak, until she couldn't take it any longer.

"I… uh… just remembered that I need to check in with Reno!" Elena suddenly exclaimed, grabbing her PHS from her blazer pocket and practically leaping out of the chair. She was suffocating under his gaze and the weight of her emotions and desperate to escape before she did something she could never take back. Tseng blinked, surprised, and watched her a bit doubtfully. Was it hurt she caught a glimpse of in his dark eyes, or was he just exhausted?

"All right…"

She barely noticed as he used his free hand to pull the blankets closer around his broken body, closed his eyes, and attempted to escape reality as she hurried from the room and down the hallway. She looked around for a quiet place to make a call but found the corridors crowded and full of activity. They often were in the early evening, when most visitors arrived to see their family and friends, and she had to dodge and weave as she made her way around a corner. She finally recalled a women's restroom at the very end of the next hallway that was largely unused, because it was a bit out of the way and there was a more modern one located closer to the elevators. When she arrived she made a quick check and was pleased to find it abandoned, sliding a heavy trashcan in front of the door. She doubted anyone would come by, but if they did she would just pull her badge and send them on their way. She needed privacy for this conversation.

With a shaking hand, she looked down at her PHS and stared at the number she'd selected from her speed dial settings. Should she really go through with this? There were so many things that could go wrong, so many reasons why she shouldn't… but so many reasons why it was the right thing to do. It wouldn't be easy, and she didn't know if Tseng would agree to it even if she was granted permission… but she had to try. She had promised to be there for him, and he had no one else. If this was something he needed her to do for him, she was more than willing.

After taking another moment to gather her courage, she finally forced herself to take a deep breath and press the button that would dial Reno's number. As she lifted the device to her ear, she half-hoped he wouldn't answer. She knew he and Rude were being run ragged across the Planet, along with a number of other Turks, though all she still knew was that it had something to do with a very powerful materia and the lunatic who had attacked Tseng and taken it from inside the Temple of the Ancients. Avalanche was involved somehow, too, but all of it seemed like a distant concern in another world as she stood staring at her tired reflection in the mirror.

Three rings, then a fourth. Elena began to feel relieved, and after the fifth she was about to hang up when she heard the familiar click of a connection being made at the other end.

_Crap…_

"Yo!"

Elena swallowed nervously, pacing back and forth inside the restroom and trying not to watch herself in the enormous mirror that made up one entire wall. She looked so small and nervous that it only made her feel worse. "Good afternoon, sir," she said, hoping she sounded calm and mature. It bothered her to have to refer to Reno that way, due to how he'd always treated her and because it felt like an affront to Tseng, but he was their acting leader at the moment and it was the right thing to do while on duty. "Do you have a minute?"

"Yeah, actually. We're just chillin' at an inn right now… I was hoping to hear from you soon. How's the boss?"

Elena grinned, pleased with her timing. Reno was in a good mood, and he had just given her a helpful opening. "He's doing really well physically. He's still in a lot of pain, of course, and can't do anything but lay flat in bed, but the doctor says he's healing nicely and that it'll just take time."

"Is he getting all stir crazy and driving everyone up the wall yet?"

"Wow, how did you know?" Elena asked with a laugh, almost forgetting to be nervous for a moment.

"Cuz I was around a lot when he was in there last time," Reno said, and she could hear him pause to take a long drink of something. Probably a beer knowing him. "He wanted to leave the next _day_!"

"That doesn't surprise me. He really seems to hate being here," Elena said, pausing and closing her eyes for a moment before continuing. "That's kind of why I called, actually…"

"Eh?"

"Well… he really wants to get out of here and be cared for as an outpatient," Elena began slowly, still pacing back and forth like a tiger in a cage. At that moment, it was exactly how she felt. "The doctor gave him a bunch of conditions to meet, which are all things he thinks he can do fairly easily… but there's one that's going to be a huge problem."

"What, the giant fucking _hole_ in his chest?" Reno asked, his voice rising several octaves. "Is he out of his mind?! It hasn't even been two weeks yet!"

"I know, but they said it's scabbed over completely now! And it's not like he isn't wearing bandaging over it and wrapped up like a mummy," Elena said, rolling her eyes. She was worried about the wound, too, but the need to defend Tseng had been immediate and instinctive. "That isn't the problem."

"All right, then what is?"

"The doctor won't release someone in his condition as an outpatient unless they have someone present with them twenty-four hours a day. They send a nurse around three times a day, but this has to be someone else… basically living in his quarters on the base and looking after him in between."

"Oh, wow. That's a _bitch_."

"Yeah…"

"He ain't got any family, and spends too much time fucking his desk to find himself a nice girl…"

"_RENO!_"

He laughed. "It's true! I mean, you know, not _literally_. But I swear, he's a freaking monk or some shit."

Elena was glad he couldn't see her, because she had turned bright red. It took her a moment to shake certain mental images, some of them not at all unpleasant, from her mind so that she could continue the conversation.

"_Anyway._ I'm concerned because he's not taking the idea of remaining here for much longer very well, and thinks he would heal much better in privacy. He isn't sleeping well with all the light, noise, and interruptions, and he wants to be able to keep in contact with you and do some other work from bed, but doesn't feel he can do any of that with so many people around to compromise security."

"I'd _love_ to have his help and input when he's up to it, trust me," Reno said with a heavy sigh, suddenly sounding very tired. "I wasn't expecting this and… gods, I don't know how the fuck he does it. He _better _get out of there soon, because I do _not _want to get stuck with his job full time. I'm just not ready for this… and I dunno if I'll ever be to tell ya the truth…"

Elena was surprised that he was confiding in her, and despite their often hostile relationship she genuinely felt sorry for him. She could only imagine how she would have felt in his position, even with his years of experience behind her. She was glad to hear that the idea of Tseng being able to aid him was so appealing, however. It was one more thing in their favor.

"Then it would be beneficial to both Tseng and the department for him to be out of the medical center, right?" Elena asked after a brief pause, holding her breath once she had gotten the question out.

"Yeah… as long as it wouldn't kill him or anything stupid like that. But I mean, he won't be out for a long time yet. I might get fucking fired by then, heh. Rufus is already all over me like stink on shit…"

"Well… what if I had a suggestion?"

"I'm listening."

"I have a fair amount of experience in nursing care," Elena said, doing everything in her power to keep her voice strong and even despite the fact that her hands were trembling and her heart was racing in her chest. She was exaggerating a bit, but after taking the additional training she'd received with the Turks into consideration, it wasn't _that _much of a stretch. "I've also been here with him the entire time, so I'm almost as familiar with his case as the nurses. We've been partners for the last year while I've been in training, so we're used to working closely together, and I told him I was willing to do whatever he needed to help him during his recovery. So… if it will benefit him and help speed up the healing process, and also help you and our department for him to be able to communicate with everyone in private, I would be willing to accept an extended assignment that would meet the doctor's requirements for outpatient care."

"Wait wait, slow down!" Reno exclaimed, and she could almost see him raising a hand in the air as he looked heavenward and tried to digest what she'd just said. "Are you suggesting that I assign you to him round the clock so he can get out of there?"

"Um… more or less, yeah," Elena said, her face growing hot as she fought the nausea that had begun to rise each second since she'd voiced her proposal.

"How long do you think it would take before he didn't need you to stay with him? We've only got so many Turks, and there is a lot of serious shit going down right now…"

"I know, sir… and I really don't know the answer to that. It would be until the doctor downgraded his status. A few weeks maybe, once he meets the requirements to be released? But that's just a guess."

Reno sighed heavily, and Elena closed her eyes, fighting tears of frustration and exhaustion. She was so tired, so sore, her emotions being yanked from one end of the spectrum to the other. All she wanted to do was help Tseng recover, but she already felt like a failure. There was so little she could do as he laid there and suffered, nothing she could do to help her fellow Turks out in the field… Maybe she really was just a stupid rookie who 'didn't know shit' as Reno so often reminded her.

"That's a long time," Reno finally replied, and she almost snapped back with an angry retort before he continued speaking, "but he's our boss, and he's been through hell. I mean, I'd go nuts in there, too, and this department is gonna go right down the shitter without him. _Fuck!_ ….. Hey, hang on a sec, all right?"

"Yeah, sure. Take your time."

Elena heard him set down the PHS, followed by the distant sound of a knock at a nearby door and his voice joined by a much deeper one. He was talking to Rude, she realized, filling him in on the situation and asking his best friend and partner for advice. It instantly made her feel better, as Rude was a far cooler head and had always been much kinder to her. She couldn't hear anything that was being said, but they spoke for a long time, back and forth in animated conversation. Elena began to worry, studying herself in the mirror as she held the device to her ear. There were dark circles beneath her eyes, and she looked as if she'd aged five years since arriving at Junon Harbor. All the worrying and lack of sleep had been taking its toll. Even her hair fell limp and lifeless into her eyes, and she didn't bother to shake it away. She barely recognized herself, and it suddenly occurred to her that she had been forever changed by what she'd experienced.

She was jolted back to reality when Reno picked up his PHS again, breathing loudly into the mouthpiece for a moment before she heard him drop into a chair and sigh with relief. "Elena?"

"Yeah, I'm still here," she said quietly, bracing herself for what was about to come.

"All right, well, I thought it over…" he said, sounding more than a bit hesitant himself. "I definitely have some major concerns about this whole thing. But if this is what Tseng wants to do and thinks it's the best course of action, then-"

"Er, about that…"

Reno paused. "Huh?"

"I haven't exactly told Tseng about this idea yet."

"Wait, what?! Elena, what the fuck are you trying to-"

"No, no, _listen!_" she quickly interrupted, her pulse pounding at her temples. Oh gods, she hadn't realized Reno would assume her proposed solution had actually come from Tseng, cursing herself for not making it more clear. "It _was_ his idea to get out of here and continue his recovery in his quarters so he'd also be able to help you! When he asked today, the doctor turned him down because he had no one to stay with him, and he just went quiet and accepted it. But he's really unhappy and not handling it well. I wanted to see if you would grant me permission to do this before I mentioned the possibility to him, because I didn't want to get his hopes up. It's depressing enough in here."

"Oh… okay, then," Reno said, slowly digesting the idea of Elena asking his permission to do something that directly involved the actual head of the department before mentioning it to the man himself. "I uh, really appreciate that, heh. Anyway… are you sure you really want to do this, Elena? You don't have to just because you're the one who's stayed with him all this time. I can swap you out with someone else if you need a break. I know it must be-"

"No! That isn't it at all!" she exclaimed a bit too quickly, quickly cursing herself and watching her cheeks turn red in the mirror. "I… want to do this. He's my partner, Reno. I respect him and want to see him get well and return to doing what he loves. I told him I was willing to help however I could, and if he just needs someone to be present in his quarters, I can easily do that for him. Like you said, he doesn't have anyone else."

"You sure that ain't gonna be horribly awkward?"

"No, I'm _not_ sure," Elena said with a nervous laugh. "But we're adults, I'm sure we can handle it."

"Well… all right. Lemme know if he's cool with it. If so, I'll write up your new orders, the good doctor will receive a copy, and as long as Tseng proves he can survive outside of the medical center it should be a go."

"Okay," Elena said, hating the way her voice trembled ever so slightly as her stomach turned in on itself. "I'll go back and see if he's awake so I can make him this amazing one time offer…"

"That's a tough choice there. Stay in the shitty hospital, or be bedridden in his quarters with _you_ twenty-four seven. Fuck that, I'd just kill myself."

"Thanks. I'll talk to you later, Reno."

"Seeya, rookie."

She heard the sharp click of the connection being severed and lowered her PHS from her ear, staring at it for a moment before slowing returning it to her pocket. She released the breath she'd been holding and remained standing in place, the weight of what she'd just done pressing down on her. But as she finally turned and removed the barricade from in front of the restroom door, she knew the most difficult part was still to come.

* * *

((***** For anyone curious as to where this story now lines up with events in _Irony of Fate_, at this point in time Aeris and Sephiroth have left the group for unknown reasons and Avalanche is in the process of hunting down the wayward couple.))

((**Author's Notes: **How is that for a quick update? I'm actually already working on another one, too. I really got my enthusiasm going for this story again, and my handful of loyal reviewers have been highly encouraging. You guys wanted an update and egged me on, so instead of working on _Transformations_ where my audience has been a bit quiet as of late, I did what we all wanted instead ;). I do indeed listen to my readers. Anyway, Dr. Welsh laid down the law, but that's hard to do with someone as powerful and determined as Tseng. He did give up when he heard he'd have to have someone with him around the clock, though, since he knew that was not possible. But Elena was not kidding when she said she'd stay at his side while he recovered. Not sure she's thinking completely with her head on this one, but Reno cares about his mentor and also really does need his help, so it sounded reasonable to him. What is Tseng going to think of this plan? Will he share Reno's opinion? I guess we'll find out next chapter. Thanks again, guys! It's nice to see this little story picking up a bit of a cult following. It just encourages me, so please feel free to let me know what you think! _~ JenesisX _))


	12. Chapter Twelve: Beyond the Call of Duty

**Chapter Twelve: Beyond the Call of Duty**

Elena was as nervous as she'd been the very first day she reported to Tseng's office when she returned to his room. She paused in the doorway, taking a deep breath and studying him for a moment as she thought about what she was about to do. His eyes were closed and he appeared to be sleeping peacefully, but by now she knew that didn't necessarily mean he was. He was really good at faking that… His breathing was even and appeared unlabored, and by now she barely noticed the sounds of the monitors attached to his body. Her eyes briefly fell upon his left arm, taking in the many tubes and wires attached to it. There were angry bruises in several places from the intravenous lines, and despite his far more serious injuries the sight of them bothered her. She quickly looked away and entered the room, stepping around the foot of the bed and quietly dropping into the familiar chair on the other side.

She sat and waited, watching him closely for any sign of a reaction. After listening closely to his breathing, she was convinced he was awake, and once a few more minutes had passed he finally opened his eyes and turned his head her way. His eyes were a bit heavy, and she realized he had likely been given additional pain medication while she was out of the room.

"I'm sorry, were you trying to sleep?"

"Not really."

His voice was clear and she nodded, satisfied that he was alert enough to hold a serious conversation. Her stomach came alive with butterflies as he watched her curiously, and she cursed the cowardly part of her that wished he had been asleep after all.

"I'm, ah, sorry I ran out like that," Elena said, looking down and feeling her cheeks grow warm. "But I really did need to talk to Reno about something important."

Tseng's expression instantly darkened into a scowl, his dark eyes growing cold. "It is one thing to have no idea what is happening inside my own department, but to have it rubbed in my face is insulting," he snapped. "Please leave."

Elena's mouth dropped open, never having thought of how her actions could be misinterpreted. She sat in stunned silence as Tseng pointedly turned away from her, until she finally found her voice. "What? _No! _No, that isn't what I meant!" she exclaimed, horrified. "I would _never_ do that! I have more respect for you than… than _anyone!_ And… and…"

She looked down into her lap, not trusting herself to continue. Tears of frustration burned her eyes, but she quickly pushed them away before he could see them. Dammit, why was she always so stupid and saying exactly the wrong thing? She was trying to _help _him, and cared about him so much, yet all she ever managed to do was annoy him and piss him off. This was going to be an extremely difficult conversation, and she had already directed it straight toward hell in a hand basket.

She started to get up, intent on fleeing the room and reconsidering what she doing, when she heard Tseng sigh heavily.

"Wait…"

She immediately dropped back into the chair as if following an order, clasping her hands tightly in her lap and daring to glance up at him. He was staring at the ceiling again, and she briefly wondered just how sick he must be of the view.

"I'm sorry. I'm just… frustrated," he said quietly. "What were you going to say?"

Elena swallowed nervously, picking at a small scab on the knuckle of one finger until it bled. "Um… well, I was going to tell you _why_ I needed to talk to Reno so badly. Because we were talking about you."

Tseng turned his head again, and his eyes lit up with sudden interest. It was the most life she'd seen him display in a while, and she couldn't help but smile a little.

"All good things I hope."

_Other than that comment about romancing your desk…_

"Well, that depends," Elena said hesitantly, biting her lower lip and looking away. There was something so intense about his eyes that she could never hold his gaze for very long. "I um… made him a bit of a proposal about my assignment."

When she looked back again, Tseng appeared puzzled. "Your assignment?" he asked, arching an eyebrow. "Is that not to remain here?"

"Right," she said, fumbling for the best way to explain. Her face was already flushed, and she could barely look at him as she spoke. What if he hated the idea and thought she was insane for suggesting it? What if he wanted her to leave his side once she told him, and it permanently damaged their working relationship? Gods, how was she ever going to get through this? "But I asked him if we could change it."

"Oh."

The moment she'd finished her last sentence, Elena wanted to slap herself in the forehead. Hard. Now it sounded as if she was going back on her word and abandoning him, and she could hear the slight note of betrayal in the single word he spoke. His expression never changed, but it didn't have to. Elena shook her head and briefly covered her face with one hand, groaning miserably.

"Do me a favor?"

"….Yes?"

"Never let me explain a mission or business proposal?"

"Done."

Elena took a deep breath and forced herself to meet his eyes again, a weak smile on her lips. He looked thoroughly puzzled by now and more than a little concerned, and she knew she had no choice but to press forward. "What I meant was… I had an idea for how we could still get you released as an outpatient by altering my assignment."

Tseng managed to control his expression and maintain eye contact, though his frown deepened just slightly. She could almost see him battling with himself, wondering if he ought to give in to the hope that there might still be a chance, or avoid anything that might expose him to further disappointment. "How is that possible? You heard what the doctor said."

"Yes, I did. And that's why I…"

Elena suddenly couldn't continue, looking down at her hands and staring at them helplessly. Her face grew warm with embarrassment and all she could hear was the frantic beating of her heart, her pulse pounding at her temples. She was struck mute by the worse case of anxiety she had ever experienced at precisely the moment when she most needed her voice. _That_ was ironic… Her mind raced in circles, picturing every possible way things could go horribly wrong. Gods, this was a horrible mistake! She never should have even considered suggesting something so foolish, so full of opportunities for her to humiliate herself and ruin what little relationship she had forged with Tseng through their work. She was an _idiot_ for ever thinking she could-

She gasped as a hand entered her field of vision and covered both of hers. Her head jerked up and her eyes widened in disbelief. Somehow, Tseng had managed to shift himself over in bed far enough that he could lean sideways and stretch out to just barely reach her. She had been so absorbed by her fears that she never saw him move, and was quite certain he should not be doing any such thing. When she shyly met his eyes, he smirked, looking rather proud of himself though there was an obvious pain and tension he couldn't quite hide. A moment later the smirk faded into a softer expression of concern, his warm hand lingering on top of hers.

"Are you all right, Elena?"

"Y-yes. I'm sorry, I was just… thinking," she stammered, watching as he removed his hand and awkwardly settled himself back into bed, careful not to disturb any of his intravenous lines or monitors. She always felt warm all over when he spoke her name, his accent making it sound so much more important somehow. The look on his face told her he knew she wasn't being truthful, but she was grateful when he didn't push the issue.

"I've accepted that I must remain here," he said, wincing in pain as he attempted to sit up a bit more against the pillows stacked behind him. "I will endure."

The combination of his physical pain and the stoic way he had accepted his fate finally broke through Elena's fear, filling her with such deep concern and respect for him that it actually hurt. The desire to tell him exactly how she felt had never been stronger than it was when their eyes met across the short distance between them, and she swallowed the lump in her throat along with the powerful emotions racing through her. Would it help him to know of her feelings for him as he fought to recover, or would it only make everything more complicated? The question hardly mattered, as Elena knew she lacked the nerve to tell him. It would only guarantee his rejection of her aid, and she knew how important leaving the medical center was to him. But while she may not have been able to express how she felt for him, she had finally made up her mind to let him know of her plan. It was the least she could do for the man who had quietly stolen her heart.

"You may not have to 'endure' for much longer," she told him, managing a weak smile. "Would you like to hear what I had in mind?"

"Of course I would. The suspense is beginning to kill me."

"All right. But I'll warn you… It's a little, uh, drastic," Elena said, feeling her face grow hot again and cursing her pale skin and emotional nature. "Do you promise to hear me out before saying anything?"

Tseng nodded, clearly intrigued. If nothing else, she figured she was entertaining him and taking his mind off the pain. He was watching her so intently that she fought not to squirm in her chair, his eyes upon her causing both nervousness and exhilaration. She had always longed for his undivided attention, but now that she had it she felt awkward and childish. She hoped he couldn't tell how uneasy she was, clearing her throat and praying she wouldn't make a complete fool of herself again.

"Okay," she began, focusing on keeping her voice as strong and devoid of emotion as she could. "It's pretty simple, really… You need someone to stay with you in order to be released as an outpatient, right? Well, I'm already assigned to be here with you, and I know your medical information really well by now. Besides that, you're my partner, whether because I'm still in training or not. I told you I'd be here for you until you were better, and I meant it…" Elena paused, taking a moment to gather herself before continuing. Tseng's eyes never left her face as she spoke, though she was unable to read exactly what it was she saw in them. "So I… I asked Reno if… he could extend my assignment here indefinitely. I'm… willing to stay with you around the clock so that you can be released to your quarters."

Elena immediately looked down into her lap when she finished delivering her proposal. Her chest had grown tight and she concentrated on drawing each breath, clasping her hands together tightly. There. She had said it. She had done so clearly and calmly, and her voice hadn't wavered even once. Now all she could do was wait. She was certain he was about to laugh, or deliver a scathing lecture and send her away for the last time. At least she would know that she had tried her best, and done everything she could to help him. She had made the suggestion because she cared about him so deeply when he had no one else to fight for him, whether he realized her motives or not. It would do little to ease the pain of losing him, but at least she would never have to ask herself what could have been had she only tried a little harder.

The room remained silent other than the sounds of the monitors, though Elena still did not dare to raise her head. She could not bear to see the rejection and disapproval on his face. She wanted to get up and leave the room, but knew she had to wait for an answer before she did so. The last thing she wanted to do was disrespect him, or appear rash and unprofessional. She began to chew on her bottom lip, wondering what was taking him so long to respond.

"Do you realize what you are offering to do?"

His voice was full of quiet disbelief instead of the annoyance and displeasure she had expected, and Elena slowly lifted her head. He was studying her closely, his head tilted slightly.

"Yes. I'd have to stay with you… in your quarters... until Dr. Welsh upgraded your status and decided you didn't need someone there all the time. And I'm sure it would also involve taking part in some of your care."

Tseng looked distinctly uncomfortable for a moment, averting his eyes. "I could never ask you to do that."

"But you didn't ask me, Tseng. I'm offering on my own."

"That is very kind of you, but I don't want you to feel obligated toward me, or make a decision out of pity that you will come to regret. Thank you, but no. I will remain here."

Elena stared at him wordlessly as his gaze returned to the ceiling. He adjusted the blanket that covered him with his free hand, as if trying to send a hint that the conversation was over and he intended to go to sleep. She frowned, frustrated, not about to let the subject drop so quickly after everything she'd just gone through. She couldn't believe he was willing to let something he wanted go so easily. Wasn't he the slightest bit intrigued or tempted by the offer?

"So that's it? You aren't even willing to talk about it any more, even though you hate it here so much?" she asked, her tone more demanding than she intended. "I'm not suggesting this because I feel obligated. That was _never_ the reason I wanted to be here with you, and I'm pretty damn sure you know that! We're Turks, and that makes us family. I'm here because I _want_ to be."

Tseng's eyes found their way back to her face, and though he tried to look cool and uninterested, there was a spark in them he couldn't quite disguise. Elena took it as encouragement and continued with more confidence.

"As for pity? I don't pity you, because I know that isn't what you want. I feel horrible that you're suffering, and it kills me to see you this way and know how unhappy you are…"

Her voice cracked at the very end of her statement and she blushed, quickly clearing her throat in an attempt to disguise it. She knew she hadn't fooled him, but his reaction only served to confuse her. His gaze softened and the harsh line of his mouth turned up in what almost appeared to be a gentle attempt at a smile. There was a nervous flutter in the pit of her stomach and her heart caught in her throat.

"So you really wish to spend gods only know how long as my personal babysitter?" Tseng asked after a moment of awkward silence. He was attempting to lighten the mood with a joke, but it was obvious that he was bitter and embarrassed by his situation. "That is hardly in your job description."

"Maybe not, but all I've heard since I was hired is how Turks always stick together, and how you always have your partner's back," Elena said, forcing herself to sit up straight in what she hoped was a more professional and determined manner that showed she did not intend to back down. "You're hurt, I'm already here, and we take care of our own."

Tseng sighed quietly and stared down at his free hand resting on top of the blanket that covered him. His expression had changed to one she knew well, the one he wore when he was weighing his options while trying to make an important decision. She folded her hands in her lap and hoped he couldn't tell how alive with anxiety she was, though she took it as a good sign that he was finally taking her suggestion seriously.

Long moments of tense silence passed, during which Elena feared she might go mad. It was difficult not to say something, to question him, to ask what he was thinking or what he had decided. But she knew better than to interrupt him when he was thinking over something important. She had learned that lesson the hard way during her training, and was embarrassed to admit that it had taken several times to sink in. Any time Tseng was faced with an important decision, his eyes would shift to the left, his mouth forming into a thin line of concentration. His entire body grew still and he said nothing, almost as if he was momentarily unaware of his surroundings. When Elena had grown anxious and interrupted him, he would simply raised a hand, open-palmed, to silence her, and continued to think without changing his posture or even blinking. This had happened numerous times, both in the office and out in the field, until she finally learned that she simply had to endure the frustrating ritual until he'd made his decision.

She was both relieved and full of nervous dread when Tseng finally blinked and turned to face her again. He shook his head almost imperceptibly, sending butterflies racing through her stomach.

"I'm not sure it would be proper for you to stay with me," he said, looking somewhere over her shoulder instead of directly at her. Elena felt her face instantly grow hot, and she was unable to contain the nervous laughter that escaped. Her blush only intensified when his eyes found their way back to hers and he raised an eyebrow, the slightest hint of a smile turning up one corner of his mouth. Was he embarrassed, too, or did he just think she was being immature?

"I doubt anyone is going to think anything like _that_ is going on in your condition, si- er… yeah…"

_I hate myself and I want this chair to kill me._

"But I don't even have anywhere for you to sleep. You saw my quarters."

"You have a couch. It looked comfortable."

Tseng frowned and tiredly lifted his hand to his forehead. "I'm going to look like a true gentleman after this," he muttered under his breath, along with something else Elena didn't understand. It took her a moment to realize he'd spoken a few additional words in Wutaiian, but she wasn't about to ask him to translate. She was quite certain the entire point was that he didn't want her to know.

"Don't worry about it. It's necessity, and I've slept in far worse places," Elena quickly reassured him. She was thrilled to realize he was speaking as if he was actually accepting the idea, and wanted continue the conversation before he changed his mind. "I'll do whatever you need me to do and otherwise stay out of your way as much as possible."

"You do realize I'm going to be in bed the entire time, so that won't be difficult."

It sounded like a joke, but she wasn't quite sure. She paused, the intensity in his eyes only adding to her nervous energy. "I've got enough belongings here on the base that I'll be fine for however long I need to stay," she told him, wondering if they'd actually agreed upon this yet or not. "I'll… do my best not to bother you. You won't even know I'm there! I'll get some books and things and just keep to myself and let you rest. And I don't snore or anything that I know of. I promise not to talk too much and drive you nuts, and-"

"Elena."

She immediately closed her mouth at the soft sound of his voice admonishing her, realizing to her horror that she had begun rambling at a high rate of speed. She looked down into her lap, cursing herself for her inability to lose such an annoying, potentially costly bad habit.

"Sorry… That didn't exactly help my cause, did it?"

To her surprise, she heard Tseng start to laugh quietly, though after a few short moments he abruptly stopped and seemed to almost gasp for air. She lifted her head, her embarrassment forgotten, and saw the pained expression on his face as he brought his hand up to his chest. He seemed to struggle to breathe, squeezing his eyes closed in an expression of intense pain as his left hand balled into a fist beside him on the bed. Her eyes widened in horror and she bolted out of her chair, reaching for the button to summon his nurse. Her fingers nearly brushed against it when he managed to reach up and push her hand away, exhaling sharply as he finally managed to start breathing again. Beads of sweat shone on his forehead, and Elena could hear the ragged sounds Nurse Becky often spoke of coming from the left side of his chest. Tseng laid back heavily against the pillows behind him, wheezing and struggling to catch his breath, closing his eyes for a moment until the worst of the episode had passed. When he opened them and looked up at Elena again, she was stunned to see that somehow, there was still mild amusement in is eyes.

"Are you all right?!" she exclaimed, shakily returning to the chair before her legs gave way beneath her. Her heart was pounding so hard in her chest that she had the illogical fear it might break free. She was more frightened now that she had time to think about what had just happened, staring at him as if she expected him to die right in front of her. Gods, she had almost managed to kill him sitting right there in the hospital. What was going to happen if he was released to her care?!

"I'm fine," he rasped, though to her he looked and sounded anything but. "It only hurts when I laugh, apparently."

She wasn't sure if she wanted to hug him or smack him for frightening her so badly, then acting as if it was nothing to be concerned about. Did he have no concept of how dangerous it would be for him if his lung collapsed again? Did he not realize there was at least one person on the Planet who was greatly affected by his suffering…? Elena gradually slowed her breathing and tried to relax as she watched him do the same, realizing he was relying on his ability to meditate and remain calm in any situation to handle such incredible amounts of pain. She studied him carefully and watched for each new breath he took as they remained silent, awed by his strength while at the same time wishing he didn't think he had anything to prove. Through it all, he had never made a sound. It occurred to her that she'd never heard him cry out in pain throughout the entire year she'd worked with him, no matter how badly he'd been hurt. Did he really have such tight self control, or was there a deeper reason behind it?

Tseng's eyes were alert as they met hers a few minutes later, letting her know without words that he had recovered and was ready to continue the discussion. He was watching her, waiting, expectant, but didn't say a word. Elena had nearly forgotten all about the discussion in her concern for him, but the butterflies quickly returned as she cleared her throat and took a moment to collect her thoughts. It took a bit of effort to remember where they'd left off, but when she did, she knew the blush instantly crept back into her complexion.

"I know it isn't an ideal situation, and that I'm probably not the first person you'd have picked to stay with you… but if you want to try to meet the doctor's requirements to get out of here, I'll be here for you as long as you need me to be. As your partner, and as your friend."

Tseng tilted his head slightly and simply stared at her, the expression he wore completely unreadable. It was not because of his usual guarded professionalism, however. There were definite signs of emot/ion on his face, cracks in the mask of detachment he wore that she had always suspected was nothing but a very convincing façade. His dark eyes grew even more intense and narrowed ever so slightly, and his lips briefly parted as if he momentarily considered speaking but changed his mind. Just as quickly, the moment was gone and he averted his eyes, looking up at the ceiling tiles.

When more than five minutes passed in an awkward, tense silence she was too nervous to break, Elena began to fear he was about to shut her out again, staring into space until she grew frustrated and left without an answer. She frowned, biting the inside of her bottom lip as she considered her options. She'd thought he was actually considering the idea… reluctantly, perhaps, but at least he was thinking it over and weighing his options. They'd had a real discussion on the matter, and she at least thought he would dignify her with an actual answer instead of _this_.

She started to grow angry, frustrated with him for refusing to simply tell her he didn't want to do it instead of leaving her sitting there like an idiot while he stared at the damn ceiling again. She heaved a sigh and was about to tell him exactly how she felt when he finally turned to face her again, his expression carefully neutral but his voice unusually unguarded.

"I don't know what to say."

A small smile instantly replaced her frown, though the nervousness and uncertainty she felt remained. She knew he must have felt the same whether he was able to express it or not, and somehow, it made her feel a bit better. They were partners, and they were in this together.

"Then just agree to it," she told him with a confidence she didn't feel as she met his tired eyes. "Reno will change my official orders and let Dr. Welsh know you have someone assigned to you around the clock. Then you can start working on the other requirements. But _please_ don't overdue it… All I- everyone wants is for you to get better."

"All right. Do it."

_xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx_

The lights inside Tseng's room had been dimmed long ago as evening turned to night, but despite the late hour and all of the medication, he still could not fall asleep. For once, it was not the remaining light, or the staff passing by in the hallway, or the incessant beeping of the equipment that kept him awake. It was not the nurses who intruded into his room to check his vital signs or intravenous lines, weak men screaming in pain down the corridors, or some fool dropping a metal tray so loudly it was certain to wake up every patient on the entire floor. No, this time what kept him awake was the sudden awareness of the young woman barely visible in the far corner of the room, peacefully sleeping on the cot that had been tucked there against hospital regulations.

How long had _that_ arrangement been going on? he wondered. He'd been sedated at first, and then so out of it that he hadn't realized the cot was even in the room. He'd been laying flat on his back because of the nature of his injuries until just recently and unable to see much of anything. He'd finally been allowed a few thick pillows behind his head and neck that allowed him to look around the room a bit, though he still could not turn his head very easily. He'd noticed the cot a few days ago, but assumed Elena was simply resting upon it during the day as he often saw her doing, laying on it to read or briefly close her eyes. He assumed she returned to her temporary quarters on the base each night to sleep and saw no reason to think about it any further. Why would she see any need to sleep in his hospital room, after all? There were staff members crawling about the place, monitoring every second of his existence. What more could she do? It had taken her proposal that evening to finally draw his attention to the fact that she had been sleeping there in the corner of his room all along…

By the time Elena had left to speak with Reno after their conversation, it had already grown late, but his mind was still racing after everything they'd discussed. He'd assumed she would not return until morning, lying still with his eyes closed once Nurse Becky had given him his medication and said good night. But to his surprise, he heard Elena enter his room almost an hour later, making an obvious effort to be very quiet. She clearly thought he was sleeping as she made her way to the cot, and after a time he opened his eyes just a crack to see what she was doing. That was when he saw her lying tucked beneath the blanket, her boots on the floor beside the cot and her suit jacket and other belongings set close by, as if it was by now a familiar routine.

He was so stunned he nearly gave himself away, shocked by the realization of what she'd been doing. He'd always fallen asleep fairly early in the evening, following medication rounds. He still slept the majority of the time anyway, much to his own disgust, but he found he simply could not stay awake for long periods of time no matter how hard he tried. It was as if the energy he lost as his blood flowed out of his body had yet to be replaced, and simply keeping his eyes open and trying to think clearly quickly drained his reserves. He realized now that Elena waited until after he was sound asleep before settling into the cot for the night, and was awake in the morning long before he was to cover that fact. He never knew she hadn't gone back to her quarters to sleep, and her brief returns there to change and shower had fooled him once he was aware enough to notice such things. He felt like an idiot for being deceived by his own rookie trainee regardless of his condition, and it only added to how embarrassed he was that she had seen him in his time of weakness. The fact that he'd been largely unconscious, medicated into sleep, or otherwise incapacitated did little to ease his mind as he lay there feeling pitiful and humiliated while she slept on the other side of the room.

Yet at the same time, he was oddly touched, humbled that she cared so much for whatever her reasons that she felt it necessary to remain close by at all times. She really meant what she said about remaining loyal to your partner and fellow Turk. As a rookie, it seemed that lesson had already sunken in better with her than it had with many of his older, more experienced men… men he would never have trusted with his life. But he found that he already trusted Elena, lack of experience or not. He never would have kept her as his partner for so long if he didn't, and the excuse of 'further training' could only go so far. He never would have risked his life in the field with an ordinary rookie. She was different…

No wonder she'd offered to remain by his side as Dr. Welsh required, Tseng reflected as he stared at the ceiling in the dim lighting. She'd already been sleeping in his small hospital room and spending nearly all of her time with him as it was. As he laid there painfully aware of her presence for the first time, he couldn't help but wonder why. It went far beyond what was necessary, beyond what was required of her to complete her assignment or even to prove her loyalty to her boss and partner. It had been two weeks now, and he was no longer in immediate danger of dying. Yet she rarely left his side…

For just a moment, as he allowed himself to turn his head and watch her sleeping form, he wondered if she stayed for reasons that had nothing to do with the Turks. And for a fraction of a second, he let himself hope that maybe… He felt his face grow warm and frowned, quickly banishing the inappropriate thoughts as he had been almost since the day she first walked into his office. It had been growing increasingly difficult as time went on, and Tseng cursed his weakness. It could never be, so why allow himself to waste energy considering it and tormenting himself? How he felt didn't matter. He was her boss, the head of the department, and that was all he could ever be. He tore his eyes away from her and forced them closed, the tightness in his chest having nothing to do with his injury.

* * *

((**Author's Notes: **I have such a fondness for writing awkward dialog and conversations that go horribly wrong, and these two are perfect for it at this point in time. That lovely combination of opposite personalities, a stressful situation and sexual tension. ;) Anyway. Elena finally managed to explain her idea and got Tseng to somewhat grudgingly agree to it. He really _does_ want out of there. But he's got a lot of concerns and confused thoughts about all of this, too. It's going to be a rather awkward situation no matter how hard they try. And that's IF he can meet all of Dr. Welsh's other requirements, remember. Those aren't exactly simple for someone in his condition. Tseng is pretty stubborn and hell bent on proving he can do this, though. Let's just hope he doesn't hurt himself in the process. That would spell disaster… As always, I can't wait for comments on this chapter! I've got the next one mentally outlined, so I'll attempt not to make the wait too long.

**Preview for Chapter Thirteen: **Not everyone loves a Wutaiian, one of Tseng's little quirks emerges, and Elena starts to practice this caretaker stuff. We'll see how our patient is progressing (or not) towards outpatient status, and maybe get to hear what his doctor and nurse think of the Turks pushing so hard for it.

- As we approach the new year, I'd like to say that 2012 was a lot of fun. For anyone "new" to me and my fics, this year was the first I had written anything since I abruptly stopped all the way back in 2003. I was really nervous about trying my hand at it again, since I'd been rather well known then and felt so rusty. Can you just 'reappear' like that? Could I still write after so long, and was it okay to pick up with my original AU again after so long? I still loved it, and had so many new ideas for it… that I just HAD to or I was going to go insane. I'd also never worked with the Turks very much, and for some reason they became a very large focus for my new ideas. I didn't know how it would go over, but I've been very happy with the warm response. I'd like to thank all of you for your support, and for making me feel welcomed back to the fanfiction fold. I will definitely be attempting to make 2013 even better and more productive! Thanks, all. _~ JenesisX _))


	13. Chapter Thirteen: Partners

**Chapter Thirteen: Partners**

((**Author's Notes: **Gonna put out a warning for a few racist jokes and comments made by a minor character. They do not reflect my personal beliefs in any way, shape or form. Now on with our story. _~ JenesisX _))

* * *

Tseng's feeding tube was soon removed, and he was more than happy to start drinking again instead of receiving his liquids through an intravenous line. He'd complained endlessly about how dry his mouth was and the soreness in his throat, and as soon as he was allowed he began drinking water as if afraid it would soon run out. Elena had laughed at him until he threw her a dark look, but he hadn't been quite able to suppress a bit of a smile a moment later. It was the first step toward his release, after all, and it had been effortless to achieve. The staff began serving him meals along with the rest of the patients the following morning, and it made Elena feel much more positive somehow. It was proof that his body was recovering, that he would be able to function normally again despite the horrific injuries he'd received… that eventually this nightmare would come to an end and things would be back to the way they were supposed to be.

Unfortunately, not everything was going to be as easy for him. The first attempt to get Tseng upright in bed caused him so much pain that Nurse Becky terminated the session, and Elena had no idea how he was going to be able to get to his feet and take those required ten steps across the room and back any time soon. He had not made a sound aside from a quiet grunt of discomfort, but his face displayed his agony so clearly she nearly burst into tears. His complexion had gone deathly pale, beads of sweat glistening on his brow, and she was certain he was going to pass out. The effort left him so uncomfortable that he'd been given a large dose of morphine after they'd settled him back into bed, and he'd slept for the rest of the day. Tseng remained pale and sullen the entire evening, refusing to speak to her even when she tried to distract him with small talk. She knew he was embarrassed and frustrated by the failure and desperately wanted to tell him he was asking too much of himself. But he put up the walls and bore his burden alone.

The tube beneath his nose was removed for short periods of time to see if he could maintain his breathing without it, and for the most part his oxygen level remained at an acceptable level. It began to drop a bit after a few hours, however, which remained a concern because of his damaged left lung. The nurses always replaced the tube at night when he slept, or the moment his breathing sounded labored or his oxygen levels dropped too low. When Elena sat in the chair beside his bed, she often heard what she could only describe as wheezing coming his chest, something she had rarely noticed when he was hooked to the tube around the clock. It concerned her greatly, though his color was good and he didn't complain of any difficulty breathing. But she knew him well enough to realize that he would not have complained even if he was having a problem, and was careful to keep a closer eye on him.

Tseng was frustrated but determined, making slow but steady progress toward outpatient status despite setbacks that would have discouraged most others. Reno had faxed a copy of Elena's new orders to Doctor Welsh in order to prove that he now had someone to stay with him, and though the doctor had updated Tseng's chart to make the required changes in his care he had not been by to see him yet. Elena knew Tseng and Reno were using his status within Shin-ra to more or less bully the poor man into doing what they wanted, but she was also convinced that her boss was going to go mad if he remained in the hospital much longer. The more time that passed, the more restless and irritable he became. Tseng didn't say much, but she could see that he was extremely unhappy. She was still frightened that it was too soon and something might happen to him when he was released, and _terrified_ by the prospect of spending so much time alone with him in his quarters and being responsible for some of his care, but she was not going to let him down.

_xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx_

It was just after sunrise as Elena made her way down the corridor toward Tseng's room after returning to her quarters to change and shower, finding it quiet and nearly abandoned. Visiting hours would not begin for several hours yet, but as a Turk she was exempt from the rules. None of the staff took notice of her by now, and in uniform she tended to blend in with the security guards. It was nice to be able to come and go as she wished, and to spend as much time as she pleased at Tseng's bedside without anyone saying a word.

She was proud that he was still unaware that she'd been spending her nights in his room. She had not intended to continue doing so once he was no longer in critical condition, but she had never been able to force herself to leave. Each night, she told herself it was time to end the ritual and return to her quarters. She was being ridiculous by now, she scolded herself, and if he found out what she was doing they were both going to be extremely uncomfortable. But she'd been unable to make herself go through with it, convinced that he needed her there just in case. She carried with her the irrational fear that something might happen during the night if she wasn't there, still able to picture him lying on the temple floor in an expanding pool of his own blood, his chest and abdomen laid open.

As she came within sight of Tseng's room, she saw the blond male nurse he had complained about a few times standing in the hallway a short distance away. He was accompanied by an overweight female assistant whose hair was dyed a deep purple and pulled into a ponytail on the top of her head. They had gathered a stack of breakfast trays from the surrounding rooms and were emptying the remains into a large bin. They were also actively carrying on a conversation, and not all that quietly since there weren't any visitors roaming the halls to overhear.

Elena's well-trained instincts kicked in and she slowed her pace, hanging back and moving closer to the wall. She might have been in a hospital, but she was still a Turk on assignment. Something about the tall blond's posture and the way he leaned down and in toward his companion, smirking and snickering, made her instantly suspicious. She reasoned that she was likely overreacting because she knew Tseng didn't care for this particular nurse, but she couldn't keep herself from creeping close enough to eavesdrop. She stuck to the wall as she moved in and paused to listen, careful to remain out of their line of sight. A quick glance around revealed that no one else was present in the corridor.

"I swear, every time we get one of those people in here, they expect special food. Well, this ain't Wutai, pal. Eat it or starve!"

"Yep," said the purple-haired girl, cleaning off another tray. At first she seemed to be agreeing just because it was the thing to do, but when she looked up she threw the blond an adoring smile that revealed her true motive. "I liked him better on the feeding tube," she added with a crooked grin.

"_I_ liked him better unconscious!"

The girl burst into giggles, and Elena's mouth dropped open as she remained motionless against the wall. She could not believe what she was hearing, blinking rapidly to clear her head. No. No way. They couldn't possibly be standing there talking about…?

"It sucks that you keep getting stuck with him just because you're strong enough to lift him, Terry," the girl said, shaking her head with sympathy and placing a chubby hand on his forearm. Terry sighed dramatically and pursed his lips, then frowned thoughtfully as he stacked the empty trays together on a nearby cart.

"How do you suppose he got to be head of the Turks, anyway?" he asked, his companion offering an exaggerated shrug and baffled expression to demonstrate her complete befuddlement. "Shouldn't he be off worshipping spirits and doing karate in a temple somewhere?" Terry released a shrill cry and performed a very bad imitation of a martial arts attack, snickering madly at his own humor.

"Oh my _gods, _Terry! You are so bad!"

The two were so busy laughing that they didn't notice when Elena stormed up behind them, her eyes on fire. Purple-hair had just started to breathlessly offer insights into Tseng's most likely preferences for cuisine when she saw Elena standing behind Terry, her hazel eyes widening to comical proportions as she closed her mouth in mid sentence.

"Good morning," Elena nearly growled, glaring hateful daggers at her. The girl cowered and looked ready to run, moving to the side so that she was nearly hidden behind her coworker.

"Oh, hey!" Terry said, turning to face Elena with a genuine grin, no sign of embarrassment or discomfort on his face. He was a handsome young man, but at that moment he was the ugliest human being Elena had ever laid eyes upon. "We were just talking about how you Turks have a major _chink_ in the top of your department. Hehehe."

Elena had never been more shocked in her life. It was one thing to stand a distance away, unnoticed, and listen to the racist remarks being leveled at her boss and partner. But it was quite another for this guy to look her right in the face and continue them. Terry was still grinning, his eyebrows raised, almost as if he expected her to, what? _Laugh_? Did he actually think she would find his comments _funny_, simply because she was a member of his race? She slowly met his eyes, her expression as cold as ice, the rage building inside her until she feared she might do something that would definitely interfere with Tseng's recovery… and possibly her job as well. Her fists curled into balls at her sides until her short nails dug painfully into her palms, and she grit her teeth until she feared they might break in her jaw.

"Excuse me," she finally snarled, shouldering her way past him with a final glare and practically stomping the rest of the distance to Tseng's room.

"Geez, lighten up. Got no freaking sense of humor!" Terry called after her, but she did not allow herself to turn around.

Elena entered the room and walked directly to her cot without even glancing in Tseng's direction, dropping onto it and closing her eyes. She finally realized how tight her chest had grown, and that she was physically shaking. Her heart was racing in her chest, and her hands were still curled into tight fists. She felt as if she had just come from a battle, but in actuality she had barely managed to speak a word. Remembering what Tseng had taught her, she focused on drawing each new breath to calm herself, clearing her mind until her body gradually relaxed.

She finally raised her head and looked across the room toward his bed, surprised that he was laying down with his eyes closed instead of staring at her. She doubted he was actually sleeping, though he didn't stir despite her dramatic entrance. Breakfast had been served only a short time before, however, and she'd expected him to be up and wondering what in the hell was wrong with her. The nurses were finally adjusting his hospital bed to a slight incline during the day so he was able to take his meals, careful to keep it as mild as possible because of the nature of his injuries. With so many healing broken ribs, staples and sutures, and muscles sliced through by the blade of a very sharp sword, it was extremely painful for him and best if he remained lying on his back. But he could not eat or drink in that position, yet another complication of rushing his release from the medical center. Elena frowned, wondering if he was not feeling well that morning, when an even more alarming thought slammed into her mind like a ton of bricks.

_Oh my gods, did he hear what they were saying out in the hall?!_

He had to have. Terry and the purple-haired nurse were working only about five feet from the door to his room, and they had not been speaking quietly. Tseng was a very experienced Turk, trained to make use of all of his senses to the highest degree, and he could do little more than lay in bed and listen to what was going on around him. There was no doubt in Elena's mind. He _had_ to have overheard those remarks, at least in part. Her heart began to race anew as she stared at him with wide eyes, her vision quickly blurred by tears. She hoped with all her heart that he was asleep, that he'd been resting so soundly that morning that they decided not to disturb him for breakfast. But when she recalled the first comment she'd overheard, she knew that was not the case. And if Terry had been so willing to say such things within Tseng's earshot that morning, what were the chances he hadn't done so before?

Elena lifted her hand and angrily wiped at her eyes. She was well aware that racism towards Wutaiians had long existed, especially after the war, but she hadn't seen any real sign of it since leaving home to join the Turks. Tseng was the first Wutaiian she'd ever met, and the only one within their department. There were a handful of others working for Shin-ra, but not very many, and aside from Tseng the only other Wutaiian in a position of power within the company was Professor Hojo of the Science Department. She had never witnessed any of the Wutaiian employees being treated badly by their coworkers, and it made it easy for her to push the issue from her mind. She had never expected to be forced to deal with something so horrible inside the sterile walls of a hospital.

As she sat and watched Tseng rest, she could not understand how anyone could decide to hate another human being simply because of the way they looked. Terry didn't even know Tseng. He didn't know how calm and patient a teacher he was, or how he would have risked his life to save any of his Turks in an instant, without thought. He'd never witnessed the slow smile that graced his lips when he finally let his down his guard, or reveled in his quiet chuckle when Elena made a mistake he found particularly amusing. He would never appreciate the comfort of Tseng's smooth voice and endearing accent, or the intensity of dark eyes beneath long lashes. He didn't _know_ the man he was judging, who never drank alcohol and preferred tea to coffee. How could he stand there and degrade someone he didn't know anything about aside from the fact that he was Wutaiian? He was supposed to be taking care of Tseng, a patient who was in a great deal of pain and struggling to recover from an injury that should have killed him. He suffered with a quiet strength and dignity and never complained, yet it earned him no respect from a caretaker who should have been filled with empathy and compassion. Elena could not understand it, and hoped she never would.

She swallowed the lump in her throat, hating herself for not telling Terry exactly what she thought of him. She should have slugged him and wiped the arrogant smirk right off his face! But what would that have solved? It wouldn't have changed his mind… People with uneducated, uninformed opinions rarely changed, something Elena knew well. Tseng wouldn't have approved of her doing something so rash anyway, and certainly would not have reacted that way himself. He was far too composed and dignified. But she could not help but feel that she should have done _something._ She should have at least spoken up in his defense. She'd instead been struck mute by shock and anger, then stormed off like an angry child about to throw a tantrum. The guilt made her stomach churn and she wished she hadn't eaten before returning to the medical center. She felt as if she'd failed him. Worse still, she'd become an unwitting accomplice to the abuse by her inaction. The fact that Tseng had likely heard how she'd failed to handle the matter only made it hurt ten times as much.

She sat and stared at Tseng's unmoving form for a long time, wallowing in her misery and unsure of what to do. When she looked at him, she saw a man she respected and admired more than anyone else she knew, someone who had proven over the last two weeks that he had more strength than even she realized. He was a mystery she longed to solve, a mentor whose wisdom she desperately tried to absorb. His race had never affected what she thought about him. If anything, she was amazed by his seemingly endless vocabulary since it was obvious that Universal was his second language, and she had always adored his accent. She'd been immediately captivated by how exotically handsome he was, a man who was undeniably gorgeous on any continent. Tseng was intelligent, brave, and attractive. Who _cared_ what race he belonged to? How could people be so blind? She had just begun to get herself worked up again when Nurse Becky entered the room with her usual bright smile. Elena stood and quickly forced one of her own, making her way to Tseng's bedside. Thankfully, the cheerful woman hadn't noticed her sour demeanor as she retrieved his chart from the pouch at the end of his bed.

"Good morning!" she said, her eyes already scanning the information. She'd had the previous two days off and was making sure to catch up on anything important about her favorite patient. "And how are we today?"

"Not bad, thanks," Elena replied lightly, glancing down and finding that Tseng's eyes were now wide open and focused upon them. She _knew_ he'd been awake. Dammit. Did he pretend to sleep so often just to avoid talking to her? She felt a pang of fear in the pit of her stomach, unsure of whether or not she wanted to know the answer.

"I'm fine," Tseng stated simply, just as he always did. It didn't matter how much he was hurting, or what might be bothering him. Nurse Becky always had to pry to get any further information out of him, or Elena would finally grow frustrated and tell her what she'd observed over his objections.

"Well, it says here that's you're drinking like a fish, which is great!" Beck said as she examined his chart. "But you're still not eating very well… How come, honey?"

Elena mentally snapped to attention, Terry's words in the corridor once again running through her mind. Even though she was almost always present when Tseng's meals were served, she hadn't paid much attention while he was eating the soft foods they'd started him on. She thought it would have been rude and made him uncomfortable to sit and watch while he ate, so she'd always made herself busy reading or checking her text messages. She'd assumed everything was fine until now.

Tseng's face colored a bit and he looked away, sighing under his breath. "I don't have much of an appetite yet," he said. He attempted to pull himself up against the pillows behind him, and Nurse Becky quickly reached out to assist him. Elena fought back an urge to do the same, but she was so afraid she would hurt him that she held back. After helping him get comfortable, Becky adjusted the incline of his bed to allow him to sit up slightly. Tseng winced and looked pained for a moment, but he gradually relaxed into the new position. "I'm trying."

"It'll take a while for your system to get used to eat normally again," Becky said with a nod, and Elena felt a bit less tense when she accepted his explanation. "As you eat little by little, your appetite will come back. You just need to work at it a bit at a time. Make sure you're eating something every meal, though, whether you feel hungry or not. You've already lost a good deal of weight since you've been here, and you need to show that you're able to handle solid food or the doctor is going to want to put the feeding tube back in place."

"All right."

"How has your breathing been so far this morning?"

"Fine."

Elena almost rolled her eyes at his short, clipped answers, but at the same time she wanted to smile. He was only being himself, after all, and gods, she lov- She shook her head, frowning as she stood at his bedside. As much as it hurt, she knew she needed to get control of herself and stop thinking that way. Her feelings for Tseng had been developing for a long time, but his injury and the thought that she might lose him had made them so much stronger. And now that she had spent so much time by his side, watching him struggle and fight to survive, she knew with certainty that she had irretrievably lost her heart to him. But what could she do about it? Absolutely _nothing!_ It didn't matter how she felt about him, how strong the connection was or how much she wanted to be the one who stood by his side for the rest of his life. He was her boss, and his job was what came first in his life. He would always remain distant and unobtainable. Besides, what did she really know about him when she thought about it? Elena admitted with a quiet sigh of resignation that what she did know was enough. Too much… She loved him, _wanted_ him, but was damned to never say a word. Gods, how was she going to survive like this…?

She watched as if miles away as Nurse Becky expertly removed Tseng's oxygen tube and looked over the various monitors still attached to his body. She next gave him his pain medication, extra relief he still required throughout the day in addition to the continuous drip given through his intravenous line with his other medications. Elena knew he hated the fact that he still needed it and thought it made him appear weak, but even with it he was in a lot of pain. Yet he never made a sound, and winced only occasionally when his position was being changed or he attempted to shift his weight. His pride simply would not allow it. It only made her want to comfort him more, the burning ache in her chest increasing dangerously with each passing day. And now she was about to spend weeks alone with him in his quarters… What had she been thinking?

"If you start wheezing I want you to call me so I can put this back, do you hear me?" Nurse Becky was saying, hovering over Tseng with the oxygen tube held up in one hand and the other poised on her hip. Elena would have laughed at her stern, motherly tone if she hadn't been so distracted. She had never heard anyone speak to him that way before. "I think this whole outpatient thing is way too soon, and that you Turks are always overdoing it. You managed to survive all this, and now you're determined to kill yourself trying to get out of here!" Becky shook her head, a scolding but fond smile on her face. "Is my hospitality really so bad?"

To Elena's surprise, Tseng actually smiled back, that slight little smile that lifted the left side of his mouth any time something amused him. There was a brief sparkle in his eyes, and it made goose bumps rise on her arms beneath her blazer even though it was not directed at her. "No offense meant… but if I'm going to lay around like this I'd rather do so in my quarters."

"Oh, I understand that," Becky said, checking to be sure his intravenous lines were clear. "And I'm sure you'll be much happier to have Elena over there as your head caretaker instead of me." Becky winked down at Tseng as she gently picked up his left arm and made sure everything was still firmly held in place, and in that moment Elena wished for death. At the very least, she hoped the floor beneath her feet was poorly reinforced and would choose that moment to buckle. She managed not to gasp, just barely, as her face grew unbearably hot. Tseng arched an eyebrow but said nothing, his expression otherwise unreadable. Becky chuckled to herself, replacing his chart at the foot of the bed and grinning mischievously as her eyes briefly met Elena's. "All right then! I'll be back this afternoon, and we'll see if we can't get you sitting up this time," she said, waving as she headed out the door.

An uncomfortable silence descended as Elena and Tseng were left alone together, though he looked completely calm and relaxed. His near lack of reaction to Becky's comment worried her more than if he'd turned several shades of red and voiced a firm protest. It was almost as if he didn't understand what she was implying… and maybe he didn't. Elena had no reason to believe he shared her feelings, after all. A stray comment, the lingering touch of his hand, a faraway look in his eyes when he thought she wasn't watching… None of that really _meant_ anything, and she was probably reading into it desperately hoping to see something that wasn't there. Elena finally dropped into the chair at his bedside with a quiet sigh, forcing herself to clear her mind and focus on her assignment.

"Tseng?"

"Yes?" He turned to face her, blinking as if he'd been deep in thought.

"Is everything all right? No, uh… problems or anything while I was gone?"

She hated to ask, unsure of what she would say if he told her he had overheard the nurses' comments in the hallway that morning, but she needed to know. She couldn't get their cruel remarks out of her mind… or push away the guilt she felt for failing to act. She felt even more guilty for the relief she felt when he only shook his head in response. But there was a brief flash of recognition in his dark eyes before he quickly looked away that made her wonder…

"Everything has been the same."

Elena debated telling him what she'd overheard, or asking him directly if he was having problems with any of the staff. Maybe there was more to his strong desire to leave the medical center than he was saying. But she had no idea how to approach such a sensitive subject, especially with someone she absolutely did not want to offend. They needed to work as a team, now more than ever, and she couldn't risk any further awkwardness between them. And if he really _hadn't_ heard anything, she didn't want to upset him unnecessarily by telling him what she'd witnessed. It was the last thing he needed while he fought to recover. He needed to heal in peace, and it was her job to protect that for him… At least that was what she told herself as she rationalized her decision not to discuss the matter further. She would remain alert for any other suspicious incidents, and definitely keep a close eye on Terry and his friend any time they were near Tseng's room. Aside from that, Elena feared anything she said or did would cause more harm than good. She paused and bit her lip, still feeling like a coward as she changed the subject to something else that was troubling her.

"I didn't know you were having a problem eating. Is something wrong?"

Tseng briefly closed his eyes, something he often did when asked a question he'd been dreading and didn't want to answer. It was frequently followed up by a hand raised to squeeze the bridge of his nose, a heavy sigh, or his eyes lifted to the heavens as he searched for patience. This time, he simply opened them again and met her worried gaze, and for a moment he looked a bit embarrassed before he regained control of his expression.

"Have you seen what they serve here?" he asked simply.

"What?" she replied, his reply not what she'd been expecting.

"The 'food.' It's… I can't even…" He shook his head, and she could have sworn his complexion began to take on a greenish tint.

"Oh!" she exclaimed when realization struck, laughing until she saw how deadly serious he was. "That bad, huh?"

Tseng nodded miserably, frowning. "I am sure by now you've noticed that I am somewhat particular about what I will eat?"

Elena nodded thoughtfully, her mind flashing back to the many times they had taken their meals together. They were partners, after all, and she had accompanied him on almost all of his missions since she was hired aside from the highly classified ones and his body guarding duties for the President. They had also eaten together a number of times in the cafeteria at Headquarters while discussing work matters, and she _had_ noticed that he seemed to stick to a small number of the same food items, almost all of them Wutaiian. She'd thought little of it, because she'd assumed he spent the majority of his life in his native country, so it was only natural that he would prefer to eat what was familiar to him. He did eat other things, and she knew he had a weakness for plain pizza, but now that she thought about it… he seemed to limit himself to the same few Wutaiian dishes, too, and when they were forced to make due with field rations she began to worry he might starve before he finally forced himself to choke them down. A slow smile of recognition spread across her face as she studied him, realizing just how wrong the idiots in the hallway had been. He wasn't expecting special food because of his ethnicity. It was far less dramatic than that: Tseng was simply a picky eater.

"Would you like me to go and get you something edible before you starve to death?" Elena offered, grinning crookedly.

Tseng tilted his head a bit. "And then what? Are you going to do that every time they bring me something vile? Which has been… every meal thus far."

"Sure, why not?"

"That's against the rules, you know."

"The rules have to be 'creatively interpreted' sometimes in order to complete an assignment. A very wise man taught me that once… but I _can't _quite remember his name." She was pleased when a smirk finally broke free despite Tseng's efforts to hide it.

"It's not going to pacify my tormentors when they see I'm still refusing to consume their poison," he said dryly, but from the sparkle in his eyes she knew he was enjoying the banter.

"Oh come _on_, Tseng. We're Turks! I'm sure we can find a way to fool a bunch of nurses," she laughed. He raised an eyebrow and seemed to be trying not to smile again, or maybe to avoid laughing. She cringed inwardly, remembering how disastrous that had been for him last time. Even still, her heart soared at how relaxed their conversation had become, how easily they'd fallen back into the camaraderie they'd come to share as partners more and more frequently as the months had passed. It was easy to forget her intense feelings for him at moments like this, and to believe that at the very least he liked and respected her as a fellow Turk instead of the nervous, fumbling rookie she'd once been.

"Fine. If you're sure it's not too much trouble," he gave in, though she knew from the way her offer had lit up his face that he was never planning to refuse.

"Of course not," she said too quickly, hopping to her feet like an eager child about to run an errand for a favorite teacher. "What would you like?"

He paused for a moment, his expression thoughtful, then finally looked up and gave her that soft smile that never failed to make her weak in the knees. The worst part was that he didn't even realize it. "Surprise me. You know what I like by now."

There it was again. Proof of the intimacy that had grown between them over the last year. It was something that developed between any partners, she quickly scolded herself as she swallowed hard and managed to return the smile. Surely Reno knew all of Rude's favorite foods, and she was certain Rude could recite all of the redhead's most common phrases while imitating his mannerisms to perfection. You couldn't possibly spend so much time with someone, and be responsible for their _life_ day in and day out, and not develop a very close bond. If you didn't end up knowing a little too much about them, you had failed as their partner. But with Tseng, it felt like so much more. He was so intensely private and guarded that every little fact and quirk she learned felt like his deepest secret. She treasured each new piece of information no matter how insignificant, unable to help the jealously she felt when Reno said something about him that she hadn't known. She knew he'd known Tseng for much longer, and that the two had a friendship she wasn't entirely certain about, but she couldn't help but feel resentful anyway. She knew she had to get a grip on those feelings soon. If Tseng was able to return to his position- No, _when! - _she knew she would not be training with him for much longer, and her monopoly on so much of his time would come to an end. When that happened, she had to-

"Elena?"

She blinked, a blush instantly creeping up her neck until her face grew hot. _Shit. _She'd been standing there staring down at him like an idiot. "Huh? Oh! Sorry. Right. Let me run and see what I can find, and I'll be right back. Stay right th- Oh, _gods_, I am _such_ an idiot! Of _course_ you're going to sta- I'll… I'll see you in a bit!" Then she turned and hurried from the room before she could embarrass herself any further. She could have sworn she heard him chuckling quietly at her back.

_Wow. If you were trying to impress him with your brains I think you just failed. At least he's seen proof that you _do_ actually have them. Thank the gods for aptitude testing…_

Elena was so flustered that she almost didn't notice Nurse Becky at the nurses' station just before the elevator, but the moment she did she stopped dead in her tracks. She stood as if frozen to the spot, suddenly struck by a bolt of inspiration. Her mind began to race as she watched the older woman typing at her computer, and within seconds she knew exactly what she had to do.

_Maybe my brain decided to show up today after all._

She approached the station as casually as she could manage, waiting at the counter for the head nurse to notice her. When she did, Nurse Becky grinned widely, but Elena offered only a reserved half smile. She allowed herself to glance from side to side as if slightly paranoid, trying to recall all the lessons her fellow Turks had taught her about acting the part in any given situation.

"Is something wrong, honey?" Becky asked, coming around from behind the counter to join her.

"I need to speak with you privately," Elena said quietly in her business tone. It was calm and serious without being harsh the way so many of her male colleagues were, something that gave her an advantage when addressing civilians. "Do you have a moment?"

"Of course, of course," Becky said, her eyes widening with concern. "My office is right over there." She pointed just down the hallway and immediately started to head in that direction, her pace surprisingly brisk for someone so short and stocky. Elena kept up easily, and soon they were behind closed doors in a small, tastefully decorated corner office. There was nothing but a cheap metal desk with a computer and telephone on it, a rolling chair, and a few pictures Elena didn't bother to look at on the walls.

"This won't take long," Elena said, both women remaining on their feet just inside the door. Becky reached out and locked it to be sure they weren't interrupted. "I'm sorry to take you away from your work, but this is highly confidential."

"Oooh…" Becky's eyes grew even wider than before, and Elena noticed the way they instantly dropped to the gun holstered at her hip. She finally smiled and shook her head, reaching out to place a reassuring hand on the nurse's shoulder.

"Relax, it's nothing like that," she said, realizing that she was terrifying the poor woman. Her anger over the situation must have shown through in her expression and posture, and in a way she was proud. She'd been mocked endlessly by many of the other Turks as unintimidating and too small for the work, but apparently that was not always the case. Although she _was_ only scaring one overweight, middle aged nurse…

"Did I do something wrong?" Becky asked in a hushed tone. "I've been trying my best to give Tseng the best care possible, and-"

"No, no, it's not _you_ at all!" Elena quickly interrupted, shocked that she would interpret things in such a way. She started to feel guilty and almost changed her mind about the entire thing, but quickly scolded herself and continued. "You have been amazing, and I am so grateful you were assigned to be his head nurse. I'm sorry I haven't thanked you enough for everything you've done. I've just been… so distracted by all of this, and so worried…"

"I understand, honey," Becky said, smiling sympathetically. "I know it's hard. My brother was shot in the Midgar slums doing something _stupid_ a few years ago, and he almost died. I'm a nurse for goodness sake, and I _still _went to pieces seeing him that way."

Elena nodded awkwardly, but quickly reminded herself of the reason she had come. She was here as a Turk on assignment, and she had a job to do. This was not the time to let her emotions get in the way, although it felt good to finally let Nurse Becky know how much she appreciated her. "I need to speak with you concerning two of your nurses. Their security clearances haven't checked out with our people, and they can't be allowed any further contact with Tseng."

"Oh my! Are… are they _criminals_ or something?!"

"It's probably nothing serious, but I don't have all the information yet. It was leaked to me this morning by a contact of mine, which is why I wanted to talk to you as soon as possible. This is coming to me unofficially before my current supervisor officially informs me, so I need to keep it very quiet."

Elena felt terrible for lying to Nurse Becky after everything she'd done for Tseng, hoping that her sudden half-assed story was believable. Becky had no idea how the Turks or Shin-ra functioned, after all… and Elena knew she looked sweet and innocent. It was normally seen as a hindrance in her line of work, but sometimes, it was quite useful.

"Okay… What do I need to do?"

"Well, here's what's going to happen. If these nurses… there are two of them… continue to have access to Tseng by the time this all goes through the official channels, Shin-ra will end up sending orders here to the hospital that they be barred from this floor until he's released due to security reasons. It'll be worded in such a way that it makes them sound dangerous and untrustworthy, and it could cost them their jobs at the hospital since it's located here on a Shin-ra military base. But since it's very possible they've done nothing seriously wrong, and it all might come down to something silly like an old shoplifting charge when they were teenagers or unpaid speeding tickets back in Midgar, I thought I'd give you the chance to move them first and potentially avoid the whole mess. I know you're understaffed, and that you can probably make a judgment about them once I tell you who they are…"

Elena had been sorely temped to tell Becky that she needed to fire both of the nurses immediately because they were too great of a risk to Tseng's safety, but she knew she would have a lot of explaining to do if she was found out. This tale did no permanent damage, and still got the two of them away from Tseng for the rest of his stay. And if she ended up disciplined later on, so be it. If it spared him from having to listen to any further comments like the ones she'd overheard that morning, it would be more than worth it.

"Thank you _so_ much for doing this," Nurse Becky said, still looking stunned by what she was hearing. Elena felt herself relax once she realized her story had been believed. She didn't feel any less guilty, but that wasn't what mattered. "I appreciate the chance to handle this before their reputations are ruined, or I end up losing any more staff. Who are we talking about?"

"Unfortunately I don't know the name of the girl… My contact was only able to overhear parts of the conversation about this matter," Elena said, hoping her face did not betray the lie. "She's young, heavyset, and has… purple hair? Does that help at all?"

"Oh no… That's poor Amanda! That girl…" Becky shook her head sadly, pursing her lips. "She has a rough background, and she tries so hard. But trouble just seems to follow her. Or maybe I should say _she_ seems to follow _it_. I'll move her right away! She's not a bad girl. She just needs guidance, and she's been an excellent nurse so far. This is only her first year."

Elena nodded, feeling an unexpected sympathy for her. She could understand trying to rise above difficult circumstance and prove yourself in a new job. But it didn't excuse what she'd done that morning, either. Maybe she'd find a strong role model the way Elena had and get her life on track soon.

"When you reassign her, she can't work with the other nurse on this list any more," Elena said with a sudden burst of inspiration. If Amanda needed a good role model and tended to be a follower, the last thing she needed was more exposure to an arrogant racist. When Becky raised an eyebrow, Elena simply shrugged. "It's a standard precaution."

"Not a problem," Becky said with a nod. "It's a big hospital, after all!"

"Okay. And the other nurse is named Terry, a tall blond man from what I'm told. I think I've seen him working with Tseng fairly often, in fact," Elena said, careful to keep her voice and expression neutral. "That's too bad..."

Becky scowled, her warm brown eyes darkening. Elena watched her closely, surprised by her reaction. She had never seen the other woman look so unhappy before. She desperately hoped she was not beginning to suspect anything was amiss.

"Terry," she spat, shaking her head rapidly from side to side. "Now _that_ one…"

"Is there a problem with him?" Elena asked as innocently as possible.

"There have been… a number of patient complaints," Becky hesitantly admitted, looking down at her white shoes for a moment. "I've written him up repeatedly, but my boss doesn't want to let him go. We're short handed, and…" She shook her head again and sighed.

"I see…"

"Have _you_ had a problem with him, honey?"

Elena froze when Becky met her eyes, unprepared for the question. This wasn't supposed to be about her! She was there as a Turk, and their meeting was just about finished. Her ruse had been a success, and Terry and Amanda were going to be removed from Tseng's floor. He wouldn't have to hear their remarks any longer, and she wouldn't have to look at them and remember that morning. She'd been careful not to let her emotions show throughout the conversation, but suddenly her heart was in her throat.

"I…"

Becky stepped forward and placed a motherly hand on her shoulder, her eyes so warm and supportive that Elena almost blurted out everything at once in one long, rambling admission. But she wasn't a green rookie any more and she bit it back, swallowing hard and keeping her expression neutral.

"If you have, and you write it down as an anonymous family member complaint," Becky said quietly, lightly squeezing her shoulder, "it should be the final nail in his coffin. He's on probation right now, and just got another complaint three days ago for cursing at a patient. He's a very good nurse, but his bedside manner goes against everything I believe in. So please… if he's done something to you or Tseng, do yourself and every other patient here a favor. I'm half tempted not to move him and see what happens with this security issue, but that wouldn't be fair of me…"

Elena nodded mutely as Becky removed her hand and walked around her desk to sit at her computer, turning on the machine and waiting for it to boot. Why did Becky seem to suspect that something had happened? Did she simply know Terry that well, or had Elena given herself away? More importantly, should she take the opportunity and write down what she'd overheard that morning, or leave well enough alone?

"Thank you," Elena said abruptly, turning on her heel and leaving the office without another word. She had a lot to think about as she boarded the elevator and left the medical center to hunt down a place where she could place a take out order that would be to Tseng's liking. Thankfully she remembered seeing a menu on his kitchen counter the day she'd been sent to retrieve some of his belongings and was fairly sure she knew where the restaurant was located along Main Street. She was confused about so many things and still convinced she was failing him, but she could at least make sure he got a decent meal. It wasn't quite the same as wrapping her arms around him and whispering her love in his ear, but for now it was all she could do.

* * *

((**Author's Notes: **Sorry for the delay in updating! I've been having serious issues with my migraines running out of control and will be returning to my neurologist soon for all the good it's likely to do. Anyway, on to my notes for this chapter!

- I've always been interested in the Wutaiians and their situation, and wanted to explore what it might mean for those who are living outside their homeland… especially those living in Midgar or other major cities. And what about people like Tseng working for Shin-ra, the company who waged war with Wutai? That has to be an uncomfortable position to be in, and I think it's unrealistic not to expect there to be issues of racism involved. So that's as issue I plan to explore more as it relates to Tseng. It actually has something to do with the development of his relationship with Elena, even if that doesn't seem obvious right now.

- Otherwise, in this chapter we see that just having someone willing to live in his quarters doesn't mean Tseng can just waltz out of the hospital. He does still have to be able to, you know, _survive_ outside those sterile white walls. Sorry, I'm trying to be somewhat realistic here. Elena is getting some practice as his caregiver, at least. Oh boy, seems he's going to be a bit high maintenance, haha. I had fun writing their banter, which was a nice change from the awkward conversations they've been having. I figure they must be able to do that, too, since they've been partners so long.

- **Preview for Chapter 14: **Tseng continues to fight for his release from the hospital, and Dr. Welsh stops by to see him. He's still not thrilled with this outpatient idea, but he _does_ have something interesting to add that just might help. And some more Tseng and Elena interaction as well.

- As always, thank you so much for the favs, follows, and most especially your reviews! You guys have been the most loyal and amazing readers, and it has most definitely inspired and motivated the hell out of me. I will definitely happily continue writing Tseng and Elena fics even if it's for a small group because I love doing it, and you all are so awesome. Thanks again! _~ JenesisX _))


	14. Chapter Fourteen: The Uncertain Road

**Chapter Fourteen: The Uncertain Road**

Elena was in high spirits as she casually paced around the front half of Tseng's room, keeping an eye out for the nurses. He was just finishing the soup she'd brought him from his favorite Wutaiian restaurant on the base, a large portion of the food from his hospital tray already packed into the take-out bag and ready for disposal. They had developed a routine over the last few days, and Elena was thrilled to finally be able to do something useful for him. She would sneak the food in shortly after the nurses served his meals, removing the items he would never have touched in a million years and replacing them with what she'd purchased. Then she'd scrape a gradually increasing amount of the vile portions into the bag, making it look as if Tseng was slowly eating more… which he was. Just not of what _they_ were serving. When he was finished eating, she'd return the partially emptied plate to his tray and take the discarded food and take-out containers to the isolated restroom she'd been using for her phone calls with Reno. So far, the busy staff was none the wiser.

Elena turned and snuck a glance at Tseng, hoping he wouldn't notice. She was unable to hold back a smile of satisfaction, thrilled that she was finally able to actually take care of him a little. And it was working. His color was better, and she'd noticed that he was able to stay awake a bit longer during the day. He still slept most of the time, but there was definitely some improvement. His eyes were brighter, too, and his voice was stronger. He was still extremely weak and in so much pain, but slowly, she could see him fighting back one day at a time. She wanted to tell him how incredible he was, how strong and brave he had been… but she knew he didn't want to hear those words. She sensed that as far as Tseng was concerned, he was simply doing his job, and his mind remained focused on only one goal.

She watched him push the nearly empty plastic soup bowl aside, and when he looked up he caught her eye before she had a chance to turn away. A slight smile crossed his face, and Elena swallowed hard against all of the feelings it stirred within her before managing to speak.

"All finished?"

"Yes, thank you," he replied, settling back against the pillows supporting him with a slight wince of pain. "The food at this hospital is delicious." He smirked, and Elena could not hold back the girlish giggle that escaped her.

"I'm glad you're enjoying it."

She gathered the evidence of their crime into the paper bag and folded it up tight, then set the largely emptied plate the nurses had served back on the metal tray in front of him. "Look at that, you finished almost two thirds of your lunch today," she said with a crooked grin. "You even ate the creamed spinach!"

Tseng made a disgusted face, leaning as far away from the tray as he could. "Why would anyone create such a thing… Spinach is disgusting enough on its own."

"They'll come and collect it soon, hopefully," Elena said sympathetically, still a bit surprised by just how strong his aversion to certain types of food was. She was dying to sit and ask him if he liked various things from her list of favorites some time. He wouldn't even touch the mashed potatoes the previous evening, though in his defense they _had_ been rather runny and covered in a suspicious-looking grayish gravy. Elena would eat almost anything when hungry, and even she would have had a hard time getting those down.

"They better, or I may not be able to keep down what I ate."

Elena playfully rolled her eyes, approaching the door with the bag of trash in hand. "Let me go and dispose of the evidence, and I'll be right back," she said, pausing to study him for a moment. He looked so relaxed and content at that moment, his dark eyes a bit heavy from the combination of pain medication and a full stomach. It was still so strange to see him so vulnerable and unguarded as he lay stretched out in bed, and it made her chest ache to know he was hurting and unhappy about his situation. She wanted to reach out to him so badly, to do so much more for him, to simply _be_ _there_ for him. What she was doing was not nearly enough, and it wounded her to her soul. Elena finally tore her eyes away and quickly left the room, wondering if she would ever find the courage to tell him how she felt. But at the same time, she knew she could never allow it no matter how badly she wanted to or how much holding back slowly killed her one day at a time. They were Turks first, and he was her boss. Besides, someone like Tseng would never feel the same for her…

Who did she think she was, developing feelings for _him_ of all people? Elena was filled with a bitter self loathing as she made her way down the corridor, frowning severely. She was no one, just a young woman from a small town in the middle of nowhere… a mere rookie who still struggling to prove herself and be accepted as a Turk. She had only been in Midgar for about a year, and while she'd excelled and quickly risen in rank, she knew she had a long way to go and precious little experience. She'd made her share of mistakes and was teased mercilessly by the others in the department for everything from her appearance to her voice to her habits. The label of rookie clung to her, and she had yet to complete the final stage of her training. She wondered if she ever would if Tseng was not there to guide her. Gods, he _had_ to be able to return to duty, or she would be utterly lost in more ways than one…

He was the widely respected director of the entire department, and had been a Turk for… well, a long time. He seemed virtually flawless, and everyone looked up to him like he was some kind of god in a blue suit. Even Reno considered him a role model and rarely spoke a negative word about him outside of some occasional light teasing. But for Elena, Tseng had quickly become her everything even though she tried her hardest to push the powerful feelings aside and focus on her work. She was an _idiot_ for letting her admiration of him go beyond professional respect, but she had been helpless to stop it. It had started almost instantly, the moment she laid eyes upon him. Tseng was undeniably gorgeous, and she couldn't tear her eyes away from him as he sat behind his desk that first morning she reported to his office. Those delicate but handsome Wutaiian features, his intense dark eyes that seemed to look right into her soul, that stern but serene expression… long, silky black hair she longed to touch. And when he stood and towered over her, she almost melted. He seemed so powerful, yet always so calm and controlled. He made her extremely nervous at first, but she always felt safe when she was with him. While his position intimidated her, he had the power to soothe her anxiety on missions and bring out her confidence, something that greatly contributed to her quick improvement. She was certain that if not for Tseng's patience and personal attention, she never would have made it as a Turk.

Elena pushed open the restroom door and threw the bag into the trashcan, stopping in front of the mirror to glare at herself in disgust. She was kidding herself if she thought a man like Tseng would ever have any interest in her. She knew she was widely considered to be pretty, though closer to cute than beautiful, and she wasn't built like a model or particularly glamorous. She was short and petite with a soft, cherubic face and big blue eyes. Her short pixie haircut only served to make her look younger and more innocent, something that had backfired on her mightily. She'd thought it would make her look tougher and less feminine, but it only accented the roundness of her face and made her seem even shorter somehow. The navy blue suit covered up what curves she had, making her appear plain and boyish. She wasn't sophisticated or particularly interesting, and she tended to ramble and embarrass herself at the worst possible times. Even if Tseng was open to the idea of risking an office romance with a subordinate, it would _never_ be with her. She had seen his secretary and personal assistant, after all, clearly hired by Rufus for their appearances. They were always shamelessly flirting with him and undressing him with their eyes, giggling and gossiping and trying to think of ways to make Tseng actually pay attention to them. When he had women like them available and willing, why would he give her a second look?

Tears burned her eyes as she quickly stepped away from the mirror, cursing herself for being such a fool. That was _not_ why she was there. She was there to help Tseng get well and be able to return to duty. She was doing so as his partner and his friend… and _yes_, because she loved him. She was past the point of being able to deny that fact. It didn't matter that he would never know or feel the same. Elena cared about him so deeply that she never would have been able to walk away, and he had no one else to stand beside him. She was all he had right now, and he needed her. She took a deep breath and stood up as tall as she could, steeling herself against the pain as she left the restroom. She had a feeling this was going to be her most difficult assignment to date.

_xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx _

Tseng was relieved when an unknown nurse arrived almost immediately after Elena's departure and removed the foul remains of the hospital lunch from his room after making a quick note in his chart. Good. They were convinced he was eating the slop they brought him, noting his positive progress for the doctor. One more step toward his release as an outpatient.

He closed his eyes and tried to relax once the nurse had checked his vitals and made her exit. She had done everything without speaking a single word to him. How he _hated_ that. While he didn't necessarily want to make small talk with these people, they could have at least acknowledged him instead of treating him like an object… or a specimen. Some of the staff were quite pleasant and friendly, but others barely looked at him and never even said hello. It was odd, and he had no idea why they would behave that way. Was it because of who he was within Shin-ra, or did they treat all of their patients that way? Did some of them not _realize_ who he was and assume he didn't know Universal simply because he was Wutaiian, as stupid as that would have been? Sadly, it wouldn't have been the first time. He supposed he could have asked and started using big words they likely wouldn't have known the meanings of, but he never bothered. He had enough on his mind and didn't plan to stay there much longer anyway.

After only a few minutes, Tseng opened his eyes and glanced toward the doorway. He frowned, immediately scolding himself. There was no way Elena would be back already. But the need to look for her had been nearly overpowering, and he was left feeling weak and foolish. When she was gone, the room felt so empty and silent despite the constant sounds of the monitors, and he was suddenly aware of just how alone he was. It shouldn't have mattered. All that did was that he continue to heal so he could get out of there and back to work as soon as possible. He didn't need… _company_ in order to do so. He had never needed anyone to accomplish his goals, and there was no reason to start now regardless of how badly he was injured.

Yet he could not deny that her presence was making things easier somehow. She had been there all along, and he would never forget her for that. It meant far more than he would ever admit or be able to express, and just thinking about those feeling left him confused and uncomfortable. Having her by his side helped take his mind off the pain and frustration that filled his days. She talked to him even when he was not in the mood to respond, something that relaxed him even though he often pretended to be annoyed. She made sure the nurses kept on schedule with his pain medication because he had too much pride to ask for it, and now she was going out of her way three times a day to make sure he had food he would actually eat. He still couldn't wrap his mind around that. No one had ever done anything like that for him before. The hospital staff was seeing to his needs because they had to, but Elena… she was taking care of him because she chose to. Wanted to. And stranger still, she seemed to be _enjoying_ it. She seemed to have a renewed energy the last few days, and there was a sparkle in her eyes each time she returned with the smuggled meals. Was it because she was finally able to do something other than sit around bored, the thrill of getting away with a 'crime'… or something more?

Sometimes when their eyes met as she sat at his bedside, Tseng's breath caught in his throat and a powerful feeling stirred deep within him, and he could have sworn he saw the same emotion reflected back at him. But he always looked away before he lost control of his expression, carefully biting down on the dangerous feelings that had been growing stronger over the past few weeks. He would not allow himself to be so foolish. He knew he was attracted to Elena… he always had been. It had surprised him, because he wouldn't have thought she was his type. But there was just something about her. She was so small, something that brought out a protectiveness in him… yet she was deceptively strong and capable and had grown into a very skilled Turk over the last year. He had proven Reno wrong by taking her under his wing and mentoring her, taking her as his partner and teaching her everything he knew… Well, almost. Even the best of teachers never revealed all of his tricks. Elena was so eager to please him, so determined to succeed and improve, and he admired her for that. It was also painfully endearing… She never gave up, even if she did something stupid and barely held back tears of frustration. Tseng hated it when people cried, but when Elena did and tried so hard to hide it… it made him want to reach out and comfort her, an impulse he fought with all his might more than once. Her big blue eyes were captivating, and it was easy to get lost in them. Gods, she was one of his Turks! He couldn't let himself think about her like that…

But he was also human, and he could not deny that as a man he thought she was beautiful. Even in the suit. Or especially in it. But there was more to it than that, and that was the part that scared him the most. A simple physical attraction was one thing. That could be easily dealt with and pushed aside with proper self-control. _This_… This went deeper, and it wasn't going away. Tseng sighed as he stared at the ceiling, admitting to himself that he had allowed himself to develop feelings for Elena that went far beyond professional or even friendship. It was something he had never felt before, and it was only growing stronger as she stayed by his side and did her best to help him recover.

How could he have let this happen? He was her boss. He was older. He was supposed to be the one in control. This was entirely unacceptable! His personal feelings and emotions had no place in his line of work. He was to remain an unknown entity, a calm and reliable professional the others followed without question and trusted with their lives. He had never had this problem before, part of the reason he was never seen with a member of the opposite sex. There was no room for that in his life, no place for anyone else… it would only interfere with his work and complicate matters. It was a luxury someone in his position could not afford, a sacrifice he had to make for his job. Every now and then the feelings of loneliness and longing would rise up within him, but they could be painfully squelched with meditation and by throwing himself relentlessly into his job until he nearly collapsed from exhaustion. But now, he could not use his work as a shield, trapped in bed by his injury with nothing but time to think. And with Elena constantly by his side, much of that time was spent thinking about _her_.

He knew he had to get control of himself quickly before things got any worse. Elena could never know of his confused feelings for her. It would ruin their working relationship, and if word got out his reputation would be permanently soiled. Tseng frowned as he stared at the ceiling he had grown to hate, trying to convince himself that his feelings for Elena were wrong and needed to stop. Immediately.

Gods, but if they were wrong, why did the very thought of her ease his pain? Why did her presence make him feel safe in a strange place he found so unnerving? When she took his hand he was warmed all over, and sometimes when their eyes met his heart fluttered like that of a nervous teenager. He knew she would never be interested in him, a much older man who was so serious and dedicated to his work, but it was nearly impossible to stop thinking about her as he lay there with nothing else to do. Despite his every effort and legendary self-control, the feelings he had tried so hard to fight over the past year had only grown more powerful. He even dreamed about her sometimes. And if he had his way and earned his release, they would soon be spending even more time together, alone, in his quarters. What had he been thinking when he agreed to _that? _Perhaps it would force him to face the problem and get control of himself once and for all… He was determined that by the time he returned to duty, he would have his emotions under wraps and be able to see Elena no differently than any other Turk no matter how badly it hurt. It could be no other way.

_xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx_

When Elena returned to Tseng's room, she was puzzled to find him in a dark mood. He would barely look at her, claiming he had a headache and wanted to be left alone. She could see in his eyes that there was something more to it, a sickening feeling settling into the pit of her stomach. He had been so upbeat just ten minutes before… but she had grown used to his moodiness and there wasn't much she could do. With the amount of pain he was in and the side effects from all the medications he was taking, she really couldn't blame him and did her best to be understanding. It still stung, though, especially after the troubled thoughts she'd just been having…

She'd retreated to her cot in the corner, pulling out her PHS and finding a friendly text from Rude. She was touched that he had contacted her just to ask how she was holding up, the only one to do so thus far. While far from pouring her heart out, she let him know she was tired and missed them, and that Tseng was doing well but being grouchy. Then she wished he and Reno luck and good health wherever they were, because she _still_ didn't know. Maybe Rude would tell her if he wrote back, since Reno never had during their conversations. She had just sent the message when she looked up and saw Doctor Welsh entering the room.

Elena instantly tensed despite the genuine smile on the aging doctor's face. She'd been dreading this visit for the past few days. She was fond of the man and trusted him with Tseng's life, but she knew he was not going to be happy that they'd found a way to ensure he could still be released as an outpatient. She also knew that the memo he'd received informing him of Elena's new assignment had been worded in such a way that it had more or less ordered him to release Tseng from the medical center as soon as he was physically able to survive while being cared for in his quarters, authorized by Rufus Shin-ra himself. Doctor Welsh was used to dealing with Shin-ra Incorporated and powerful members of their staff, since he worked at a hospital in the center of their main military base, but she couldn't imagine he liked receiving documents like that that went against what he thought was best for his patients.

"Good afternoon!" Doctor Welsh said cheerfully, picking up Tseng's chart and beginning to scan it from behind his thick glasses. Elena rose from the cot and approached his bed as she always did, quietly offering her support. "How are you feeling today?"

"I'm well, thank you," Tseng answered with a nod, his mood instantly improved. Elena watched him closely, instantly sensing that he was playing it up for the doctor. She had noticed that over his last few visits. Tseng had started to act more energetic in Doctor Welsh and Nurse Becky's presence once he decided he needed to be released as soon as possible, severely downplaying his pain level and any other symptoms and complaints. In fact, he had stopped complaining about anything at all, even how much the tight bandages wrapped around his entire upper body made him feel smothered and itchy. The moment they left the room, however, he would slump back into bed, exhausted, the strain clear on his face. Elena had been terrified when she realized what he was doing, especially because it seemed to be working. He was succeeding in convincing them that he was doing better than he really was… and soon it would be up to her to take care of him. Gods, what was she going to do… He trusted her, and she wasn't sure she trusted herself.

"Good to hear! Mm, this is excellent," the doctor said, nodding at the information in the chart. "You're eating and drinking well, most of your medications have been changed over to oral doses, and they've got you sitting up on the edge of your bed once a day. … It says that yesterday you were able to _stand _with assistance for a few moments_?_"

"That is correct," Tseng said with a slight smirk, seemingly pleased by the doctor's shock. He had always enjoyed proving people wrong and exceeding expectations.

Elena winced at the thought of Tseng being dragged to his feet when he should likely still be resting peacefully on his back, wishing she could purge the horrific image from her mind. Watching the nurses help him to sit up for the first time was bad enough. He never made a sound, but the agony was so clear in his eyes that she wanted to vomit. His complexion had gone ghostly pale and he began to sweat, his breathing so labored she feared his damaged lung might collapse despite the oxygen he was receiving. She'd had to cover her mouth with one hand and grip the sheets of her cot with the other to keep from crying out and running to him to stop the madness, but he was determined to succeed. He grit his teeth and closed his eyes, managing to slow his breathing and somehow handle the intense level of pain until he'd met his goal. And he'd done it each of the three days since, every attempt the same agonizing routine. Elena had to leave the room, and she definitely had not stayed there when they decided to try to briefly get him on his feet the day before. She felt like a coward and a traitor, but she simply couldn't handle watching him suffer and put himself through that kind of torture.

It was insane… too much too soon, and she couldn't understand why he thought he had to rush things instead of taking his time and letting his body heal at its own pace. He had certainly earned that right after all the years of hard work and sacrifice he had put into the company. She wished he could simply relax for once and let others handle things, let her take care of him until his wounds were healed… There was no reason he had to hurt this way, but it was almost as if he _needed_ to. By the time Elena returned to his room after each session, he was always sound asleep from exhaustion and extra pain medication, and she would sit and hold his hand and cry silent tears.

_You're killing me. Watching you hurt this way is killing me…_

"That's amazing," Doctor Welsh said as he shook his head, his unruly gray hair flopping to one side. "I'm sure it must be incredibly painful, however."

"A bit."

Elena wanted to ring Tseng's neck. She stared at him for a moment, incredulous, but knew he would never forgive her if she spoke up. Doctor Welsh briefly glanced at her as if he sensed her unease, then set Tseng's chart aside and quickly looked over the monitors and his remaining intravenous lines.

"Everything is looking good. I'm a bit concerned about your breathing without the oxygen tube, however. You seem to do all right for a while, but your levels slowly drop and the nurses report some wheezing and congestion on your left side."

"I can hear it, too," Elena finally said, earning a hard look from Tseng that the doctor did not miss. "It isn't always much, but it's definitely there… and it worries me if he's going to be released soon."

"I am _not _having any difficulty breathing without the oxygen," Tseng insisted firmly, his mouth forming into a stubborn line. "I don't feel I need it any longer at all."

"You know that you have permanent damage to your left lung, and some of that weakness is going to be permanent… but right now, it's too early to say how much it will effect you. But as far as your release goes, I am willing to compromise with you," Doctor Welsh said with a slight smile, taking a seat on the nurses' rolling stool. "I received the paperwork from your office, so I realize it's of utmost importance that your release is hurried because you are needed to help with important matters… even if it'll be from bed. But I'm not about to risk your life over it, even if _you_ are."

"Thank you…" Elena whispered, relief washing through her like a warm blanket. No one seemed to hear her over the sounds of the monitors, and Tseng's attention was completely focused on the doctor.

"All right," Tseng said slowly, tilting his head curiously.

"There are portable oxygen canisters we can provide in certain situations, and I'd be willing to have the nurses bring a supply with them during their visits. Since you seem stable enough to go without during the day for the most part, if you agree to sleep with the tube at night until you are cleared to stop I will check that goal off your list right now. But you will also have an inhaler that you are to use any time you begin to wheeze or have shortness or breath, and I'm adding a decongestant to your medications as well."

Tseng looked a bit irritated at the idea of additional medications and having to continue sleeping with the oxygen tube, but didn't even hesitate before answering. "Very well."

"And I'm trusting _you_ to make sure he does what he's supposed to and doesn't make excuses," Doctor Welsh said, glancing up and meeting Elena's eyes with a fatherly smile. She nodded, her stomach churning with nervousness. "It's very kind of you to do this so he can get out of here, since it seems to be so important to him." He turned back to his patient and shook his head with a crooked grin, but Tseng's expression remained unreadable.

"There is much going on right now, and I fear my second in command is a bit overwhelmed. I am also a man who values peace and quiet… and my privacy. I appreciate everything you've done for me, but I need to go home and rest now. We will manage."

Tseng looked up at Elena, favoring her with that slight smile that always made her weak in the knees. Her heart fluttered and she felt her face grow warm, finally managing what she hoped was a confident nod and a smile of her own. Did he really trust her that much to help with his recovery, or was he simply that desperate to leave the medical center?

"I understand," Doctor Welsh said, unoffended. "But I still don't like it and remain concerned that you're rushing things and may seriously hurt yourself. Frankly, I'm surprised that you haven't opened up your wound with all the moving around… which is the other thing I'd like to talk to you about today."

Tseng lifted an eyebrow and Elena felt herself grow tense, unsure of why. There was suddenly something different in the doctor's expression, something more serious, and she clasped her hands tightly in front of her to keep from fidgeting. She found herself staring at Tseng's right hand resting on the bed beside him, wishing she could reach out and take it. It looked so inviting, so warm and strong, and she could remember exactly the way her hand fit against his. Whether the desire was to support him or comfort herself, she didn't want to try to answer.

The doctor cleared his throat, then reached inside his white jacket and produced a small container of pills. "I'll begin by saying that I've never done anything like this before, and I'm not entirely sure how I feel about it ethically," he said, keeping his voice low and shifting uncomfortably on the stool. "But I know I'd feel much worse if I released you knowing it was premature and something happened. And I also realize just how important it is to you that you're able to recover enough to return to your job. My first priority is always to save my patients' lives, but my next is to give them back the life they had before. Whatever white magic you… 'came in contact with' in that temple certainly gave you a head start, but _this_ may be the rest of the advantage you'll need."

"What is it?" Tseng asked, his dark eyes locked upon the container in the doctor's hand. It was a typical orange prescription bottle, but label was strange and bore the familiar Shin-ra company emblem. Elena was wondering the same, but she tried not to interrupt unless it was necessary or she was asked. This conversation was between Tseng and his doctor, and she considered the fact that he allowed her to remain in the room to be a privilege now that he was well enough to speak for himself.

"This is… an experimental medication developed by the Shin-ra Science Department, intended to-

"No. I am not interested," Tseng interrupted, shaking his head as a look of intense disgust crossed his face.

Doctor Welsh blinked, stunned. "I haven't even told you what it's for yet."

"That does not matter. If Professor Hojo had anything to do with it, I am not putting it in my body."

Elena tried not to visibly react, shifting her eyes from the doctor to Tseng as her mind began to race. His mask of neutrality had been removed, his emotions written plainly across his face. He was frowning severely, his dark eyes burning into the bottle with something bordering on contempt. His opposition had been instant and extremely strong… and Elena had no idea why. He hadn't even let Doctor Welsh tell him what the medication was for despite how badly he wanted to earn his release and be able to return to work, and his response seemed to be based entirely on the fact that Hojo was connected with whatever it was. Weren't they _colleagues_, working for the same company at approximately the same level of influence? She knew that as department heads they saw each other at least weekly at staff meetings, so they had to have some interaction with each other… and they even shared a common culture in a city where Wutaiians were a very small minority. Elena had never heard of any infighting among the department heads or other executives, though she was rather new and not privy to any inside connections or most of the hottest gossip. Reno and Rude had just started to include her in some of it, but she had a feeling they would not have shared something so sensitive. And Tseng never gossiped or talked about anything personal…

"If that's the only issue, then I can assure you he had nothing to do with the development or testing of this medication," Doctor Welsh finally said, still taken aback. He clearly could not figure out why one high-ranking Shin-ra employee wanted nothing to do with something developed by another. "In fact, in all my years at this hospital I've never received a single piece of equipment or new medication developed by Professor Hojo."

Tseng snorted, his expression deathly serious. "Hojo would much rather destroy lives than help to restore them." He muttered an additional word or two under his breath in Wutaiian, and from his harsh tone and expression Elena assumed he hadn't said anything kind about the elderly professor.

Doctor Welsh looked extremely uncomfortable by then, glancing across the bed at Elena for a moment. She offered him a slight, helpless shrug to indicate that she had no idea what the issue was even though she was a fellow Turk. She assumed she probably looked like a chocobo caught in the headlights of a motorcycle on the main road leading away from the base.

_Yeah, sorry… you've got me!_

While Elena had seen Professor Hojo in passing more than once, she had never actually spoken with the diminutive scientist. She didn't know all that much about him, but she'd begun hearing whispers and rumors shortly after arriving at Shin-ra Headquarters, mostly from other female employees. They said he was a womanizer and a pervert, into all kinds of strange fetishes and bizarre interests. There were even claims that he attempted to rope women into participating in strange experiments and had done so in the past. Elena had rolled her eyes and written the stories off as nonsense and the product of office boredom. The man had to be nearing seventy, and the years had not been kind. He was painfully thin and stooped forward, his glasses extremely thick and magnifying his beady eyes. Perhaps the shriveled old scientist was a bit of a dirty old man, but at his age she was certain he was harmless. What could he possibly do? She doubted he could make it up half a flight of stairs by himself.

"This, uh, medication was developed by a female scientist who has been responsible for several highly successful new treatment options over the last five years," Doctor Welsh finally went on after awkwardly clearly his throat, breaking Elena from her confused thoughts. Tseng still looked unhappy, and she added it to the list of things she wanted to ask him about if she ever found the courage. Why was it so hard to simply _talk_ to him? "I think very highly of her work or I would not even be suggesting this, because it's still in the experimental stages… It has yet to be tried on an actual patient."

"As opposed to a 'specimen' in the laboratories," Tseng said coldly, causing Doctor Welsh to briefly look down into his lap. Elena didn't like the way he emphasized that word, gritting her teeth in frustration. The laboratories were highly classified and above her current level of security clearance, and she had very little knowledge of what actually went on there. But she had a bad feeling about it, especially after the incident involving Sephiroth and whatever it was he had released from the main area. Many people had been killed that night, and she could remember clearly the panic in the air as she'd helped to evacuate the residents along with the other Turks. Tseng had refused to take her with him and been gone for hours, and when he'd finally returned he'd been grim and tight-lipped. If he'd written a report, she'd never seen it.

"While I may not always agree with them, your Science Department's practices aren't my responsibility," Doctor Welsh said, his voice quiet but also a bit defensive. "Now did you want to hear about this or not? I'm trying to _help_ you here. I was already uncertain about offering an experimental drug to one of my patients, especially one with such a severe injury, and I'm starting to think this was a huge mistake..."

"Please at least tell us what it does," Elena said, hoping to dispel the tension in the air. She was also extremely curious, and if it was something that could possibly help Tseng she was not about to let him throw away the opportunity with his stubbornness. He glanced up at her briefly and for a moment she thought he was about to scold her, but then he quickly looked away and simply nodded to Doctor Welsh to give his approval.

"This medication has been shown to boost cell regeneration," he said, holding the bottle up in front of his glasses and staring at the label. "There was extensive testing done in cases involving long term serious injuries, and it was shown to improve overall recovery time by up to 28% in some cases."

"In… unaltered humans?" Tseng asked, lifting an eyebrow. He still appeared reluctant, but there was definitely a spark of interest in his eyes.

Doctor Welsh nodded. "Yes. And in additional to that, those who received the pill recovered more strength and function than predicted in almost every case."

"Oh wow…" Elena breathed, the implications immediately clear. If Tseng was not expected to recover enough to be cleared to return to duty, this medication might hold the key to giving him back his life. Tseng, however, barely reacted, listening closely and carefully digesting the information.

"So you can see why I thought of you when the report about this study came across my desk the other morning," Doctor Welsh said. "I got in contact with the scientist who developed it and asked if she might be willing to allow me to try it on a special patient of mine, on the condition that we closely monitor your results for her studies. It's information we would have been taking down anyway, just a bit more detailed… and she may want a few additional blood samples and an interview or two."

"I'm not sure I'm comfortable becoming a lab rat for one of Hojo's dogs," Tseng said, his expression set in stone. "It sounds ideal but they always make their work appear that way. I'm not some common fool."

"But… but sir!" Elena interjected, her eyes wide with shock. "If this works, it will help you heal faster, and it might be what you need to assure you'll be able to get back to work! How can you just-"

Tseng fixed his eyes upon her, and suddenly he was her superior and she the clueless rookie. "Elena, you do not understand what they-"

Doctor Welsh quickly rose to his feet and began backing toward the door. "How about I give the two of you a moment to talk this over?" He was out the door before they had a chance to protest, leaving the two to stare at each other in tense silence.

Tseng closed his eyes and brought his right hand to the bridge of his nose, bowing his head and sighing quietly. Elena cringed guiltily, feeling responsible for causing his stress and wishing she could go to his side and gently rub his neck, or do _something_ to ease his tension. She wanted to take care of him so badly, but all she ever seemed to do was make things worse.

"I'm sorry, sir…"

Tseng slowly lowered his hand and glanced up at her, his dark eyes tired. "What have I told you about calling me that…"

Elena's cheeks instantly flushed crimson, her heart in her throat. "Oh gods! I'm so sorry! I- I totally forgot. I got nervous, and… and…."

"Elena, please sit down and relax."

She swallowed hard and approached the chair at his bedside, lowering herself into it and clasping her hands tightly in her lap. She stared down at them, afraid to look at him again. She could _feel_ his eyes upon her, imagining the look of disapproval he was giving her. She knew he would never love her, but gods, she didn't need to make him _hate_ her instead. Why did everything she tried to do for him turn out so wrong…

"I just thought the medication sounded like it could really make a difference and help you get better," she said quietly, still unable to look at him. "That's all I want…"

Tseng sighed, and she heard him shift slightly beneath the sheets that covered him. "I know. Perhaps that is where some of the problem lies."

Elena finally lifted her head, frowning in confusion as she cautiously met his eyes. Her heart began to race, terrified that he was about to scold her for letting her emotions effect her judgment. Or… oh gods, did he know!? Had he seen it in her eyes, or read it in her actions? Did he finally realize how hopelessly in love with him she was? Panic began to rise within her and she unfolded her hands to grip the wooden arms of the chair. Her feet were already braced against the floor, ready to flee.

"Wh-what do you mean…?"

Tseng briefly looked away, and for just a moment she could have sworn he looked… almost nervous and unsure of himself. It was so out of character that she nearly forgot her own fear, studying him closely as his eyes gradually found their way back to hers. "I'm not used to having someone try so hard to help me," he finally said. "I don't quite know what to think, and I fear my reactions have not always been something I'm proud of."

Elena was struck speechless, staring at him in awe. That was not what she had expected him to say at all. She let his words sink in, his eyes intense as they searched hers for some kind of response. He started to look worried before she finally reached out and gripped his hand between both of hers, breaking into a broad smile of relief.

"It's okay," she told him, watching as his eyes widened just a little. "I understand that you're in pain and not feeling well, and that this whole situation really sucks. I don't expect you to be bright and cheerful about it."

_I get to be the first person to take care of him like this, and he isn't mad at me! Gods, how I want to be the last…_

As she held onto his hand, letting herself enjoy the warmth and imagine what it would feel like to have him really touch her, she nearly became lost in his eyes. They were so dark as to be nearly black, intense yet beautiful, and currently focused entirely on her. The butterflies came alive in her stomach and she swallowed hard. There was something in those eyes, a hint of emotion stirring just beneath the surface, powerful and forbidden. Elena had never wanted to kiss someone so badly in her life, gripping his hand more tightly between hers without realizing it. Tseng's expression was unreadable, but his eyes never left hers, and she could have sworn… Her breath caught in her throat and she dared to lean forward ever so slightly, hoping against hope that he felt the same powerful connection. And then he blinked and cleared his throat, abruptly turning his head away, the moment shattered.

Elena quickly released his hand and leaned back in the chair, blushing severely at the realization of what she'd been about to do. Her heart was racing in her chest, her entire body tingling with a mixture of nervousness, desire, and disappointment. Gods, what had come over her? The feeling had been so sudden, so powerful and amazing… so _natural_. It had felt so right, and for just a moment she swore he had wanted it, too.

_No… you're kidding yourself, girl. You're seeing what you want to see…_

"The medication?"

"…what?" Elena nearly choked, jumping as her head jerked up.

Tseng was watching her, his expression completely calm. Whatever she thought she had seen in those captivating eyes was gone. "We're supposed to be discussing the pros and cons of the experimental medication."

"Oh! Right, right…" Elena stumbled, her cheeks growing warm. All she really wanted was to leave the room and get some air, but she quickly reminded herself of her first priority. She took a deep breath and forced herself to look at him again, hoping her emotions did not show through. "I really don't understand why you're so opposed to it. It sounds like a chance to make sure you can make it back to work. I mean, what if you don't try it, and you can't ever…"

Tseng frowned, sighing quietly and looking down into his lap. "I realize that is a possibility… one I cannot allow to happen. But Professor Hojo and I… we do not see eye to eye on many things, and I do not trust him. He is a dangerous man, and his work is not true science."

"But _he_ didn't develop this!"

"He has been with the company for far too long, Elena… and he has tainted the entire department."

"Doctor Welsh trusts this scientist, though… and you trust _him_, right? He saved your life, and he treated you before, when you got… shot was it?" Elena asked, hoping she might get a bit of information out of him.

Tseng nodded, leaning back into the pillows and wincing as he tried to get comfortable. It was so hard not to reach out and assist him, but after what had just happened she remained frozen in place. "There was an assassination attempt on Rufus' father about five years ago, during a speech he was giving right here on the base, actually. I was his body guard and spotted the shooter just as he fired. Thankfully I was able to jump in the way and knock him to the ground. I would have died if it had not happened so close to the medical center."

Elena committed the information to memory, another treasure to store close to her heart. But she was also horrified by the thought of what he'd done, and by the very idea that someone else's life was considered more important than his simply because of wealth and power. "Right before you jumped in front of the bullet, did you think about the possibility that you were about to die?" she asked, wondering if she would be able to do the same if the moment ever came.

Tseng shook his head, finally settling into a comfortable position and looking less pained. "There wasn't time to think of that. And besides, it was my job."

She took a moment to digest that, reminded once again of just how dedicated he was to his position. It was his life, a life that would never have room for her. A life he would be utterly lost and broken without. "You know you won't be happy if you can't be a Turk, Tseng…" she said quietly, allowing herself to steadily meet his eyes. "I think you need to try this medication. I wouldn't suggest it if I didn't honestly believe it was in your best interest."

Tseng was quiet for a long time, lost in thought as he considered the situation. Elena let him be, allowing him to work it through. She closed her eyes and tried to will away the confusing and painful thoughts swirling wildly through her mind, her pulse pounding at her temples. She was exhausted and wished she had someone she trusted that she could talk to openly about her feelings for him. It would help so much just to get it all off her chest, and some advice would have been wonderful…

"You're right," Tseng said suddenly, turning his attention back to her and nodding confidently.

"I… what?" Elena said, blinking in surprise. "I am?"

A slow smile crossed his face, and he couldn't help but laugh quietly. She realized her expression must have registered her shock, and she felt herself begin to blush fiercely. Still, she was unable to help but smile back. The simple fact that she had amused him warmed her heart.

"If there is a chance this can help me heal faster and assure that I can return to duty, I have to take it," he said, instantly serious again. "It was foolish of me to allow my personal feelings to cloud my judgment. Thank you for reminding me of that."

"You're welcome," Elena said quietly, unable to help but think that his words were the most ironic thing she had ever heard in her life. If he only knew…

"Do you suppose I scared the doctor off?"

Elena grinned crookedly as she climbed to her feet. "Possibly… Let me see if I can track him down."

"Can you also track down something for me to drink while you're out there?" Tseng asked, still sounding a bit awkward at having to ask for everything he needed. He was so proud and independent, and it was obvious that being so helpless deeply hurt his pride.

"Of course. I'll be right back!"

As Elena stepped out into the hallway to complete both tasks, she was as conflicted and confused as she'd ever been. Her emotional state was getting worse instead of better, and she had no idea how to get a handle on it. She had never felt more alone, swallowing down on a lump in her throat as she approached one of the nurses to assure Tseng was brought his next round of pain medication along with the requested drink. She was relieved when she located Doctor Welsh a short distance down the corridor, desperate for the distraction.

* * *

((**Author's Notes: **Hey all! Well, I finally got my last chapter for Transformations (before the epilogue) written, so I was able to get myself back to business over here. So we got to see a bit of what Elena and Tseng think of each other and their chances of getting together… which is kind of sad and ironic. Too bad they don't just talk honestly at this point, because they are just torturing themselves and confusing each other. At least Tseng is getting a little boost to help with his healing. Not a miracle cure by any means, but it should help him recover faster than would be typical with such a serious injury. If the pill works, of course, and becoming an outpatient isn't a total disaster. What almost happened there at the end? Whoa, Elena! Wonder if that was almost mutual. ;)

**Preview for Chapter Fifteen: **Tseng has one condition left to earn his outpatient release: taking that short assisted walk across the room. Can he do it? And of course more interaction between he and Elena as they both struggle to deal with their feelings and prepare to spend a lot more time together in his quarters.

Thanks for being my most loyal and supportive readers right now, the ones I can always count on for reviews… and really nice, detailed ones at that. You all are the best, and I hope I'm living up to my half of the bargain! _~ JenesisX _))


	15. Chapter Fifteen: Revelations & Promises

**Chapter Fifteen: Revelations and Promises**

Tseng was doing everything in his power not to watch her. He tried to pretend she wasn't there, that he was alone in the room with nothing but the monitors and his thoughts for company. He fought to keep his eyes on the yellowed ceiling tiles he'd long since grown to despise. It worked for a few minutes at a time until he began to grit his teeth and ball his hands into fists, and finally his legendary self-control would break.

His eyes shifted to his right once again, finding their way to the corner of the room where Elena sat cross-legged atop her cot. She was balancing a pile of paperwork in her lap, leaning back against the wall. She frowned in concentration as her eyes scanned over the documents, absently playing with the pen she held in her right hand. She appeared completely focused on whatever it was she was reading, unaware of his gaze. Tseng tried to make himself look away before she noticed but failed miserably.

It wasn't working. He had told himself he had to get immediate control over whatever it was he felt for her that went beyond professional, but none of his efforts had changed a thing. The physical attraction could be dealt with, and he could forgive himself for that. She was undeniably beautiful though she was not the traditional image of what was considered alluring or glamorous. That was part of what called to him. Those types of overstated women were always throwing themselves at him, and it disgusted him. They tried too hard, and they used their appearances for their own gains and often had little more to them beneath the skin. And they saw him as nothing more than an attractive body who wielded the power they craved. Elena was different, and that was why he lo-

_Oh gods._

Tseng closed his eyes and turned away, suddenly feeling ill as the realization hit him. _No_. This could not be. _How_ could this be? He wasn't even sure how he knew to recognize the emotion, but suddenly, there it was. He swallowed hard, feeling on the verge of panic as he gripped the sheets of his hospital bed. This was not good. This was a disaster…

His mind suddenly brought him back to several evenings before, the night they had discussed the trial medication he'd begun taking to help speed up his recovery. There was a moment where their eyes met, and time seemed to stand still. Their hands were clasped together, and he could _feel_ the energy between them as she squeezed his with everything she had. And then she'd leaned forward, and he could have sworn she was going to kiss him. Her lips had parted ever so slightly, and his breath caught in his throat. Every instinct he had screamed at him to reach for her… to move forward and press his lips to hers, to show her exactly what he felt for her. But then his brain had kicked in. He'd turned his head away and closed his eyes, fighting to calm his mind and body. He had to have misread her intentions. And even if he hadn't, what the hell did he think he was doing? They could never be… not even for a brief moment in time.

"Ugh, I _hate _this!" Elena suddenly exclaimed.

Tseng was startled from his troubled thoughts, his eyes snapping open. He turned his head in time to see her roughly toss the stack of paperwork down onto the cot. The pen found its way to the floor a second later, and she sighed wearily as she thumped her head back against the wall. Tseng blinked, amazed at how quickly she'd gone from still and quiet to full of energy and movement. It was as if she was free of so many of the inhibitions and restraints that ruled his life. He was relieved for the distraction, even though looking at her sent a rush of warmth through his body that only a moment of intense concentration forced away.

She finally seemed to feel him watching her, opening her eyes and blushing a lovely shade of pink. A crooked grin crossed her face as she lifted her head. "I guess my secret's out," she said, a bit of embarrassment in her tone. "I don't actually _like _reading all these boring memos and policy updates, and sometimes? Filing those perfect reports I turn in bores the _hell_ out of me."

Tseng was unable to hold back the quiet chuckle that escaped him. Though he took great pride in the fact that his Turks found him intimidating and watched how they acted around him… aside from Reno, anyway… it pleased him any time Elena let down her guard in his presence. Now if only he could do the same…

"Do you think _I_ enjoy all the paperwork?" he asked, pleased that his voice came out in its usual cool monotone. His dark eyes focused in on her, her answer suddenly deeply important. Gods, if she thought he actually enjoyed such a dry, boring task… _Boring_. Were women always going to see him that way? He frowned, quickly forcing down the memory before it began to play through his mind like a bad movie he refused to sit through one more time.

"Of course not!" Elena said firmly, tilting her head slightly as she took in his expression. Hers had gone serious, as if she could sense what was on his mind. "You just have a better poker face than most. Than _anyone_."

Though he was relieved she didn't see him as a mindless slave to his job as so many others did, her answer still unnerved him. Did she really see through his defenses so easily? Was that part of why he- This had to stop! This… was dangerous.

"It is simply part of my job," he said, his tone more defensive than intended. He turned away from her and closed his eyes, his entire body tense. He was suddenly glad for the pain blazing throughout his chest and abdomen, glad it had been a while since his last dose of medication. It took his mind off the things that hurt far more.

"It's more than that with you, though…"

Tseng heard her feet hit the floor as Elena hopped down from the cot, her soft footfalls crossing the tiled floor. He fought not to frown, his heart rate increasing as his hands began to sweat inside his clenched fists. He forced himself to release them, palms down atop the sheets, before she noticed. He listened to the familiar sound of Elena settling into the chair at his bedside, a slight sigh escaping her lips. He could feel her eyes upon him, no doubt trying to get inside his head and decide what to say. And then there was silence.

Perhaps she had taken the hint and decided to back off. That would be good. Very good. Her words had come far too close for his comfort, and Tseng slowly began to relax. He thought he heard her sigh again, finally opening his eyes and turning his head toward her. When he did so, he found her expression unreadable… yet her clear blue eyes were focused on him as if nothing else mattered. He swallowed hard and just managed not to look away again. It made him uncomfortable, but he would not be a coward.

"I spoke with Nurse Becky earlier while you were having your bandages changed," Elena said, her words a bit surprising given the intimate eye contact. Tseng immediately scolded himself for being disappointed. This was what he'd wanted, after all. Less personal. Distance.

"Oh?" he managed to respond after a brief pause.

She nodded. "The home check went well. Your quarters were officially approved by the outpatient staff. So… everything's all set."

"Mm. So all I need to do is…" He raised his right arm and gestured across the room, indicating the ten feet or so between the foot of the bed and the bathroom.

Elena immediately frowned and bit her lower lip. "Yeah. 'All.'"

"It's not that far."

"It is for someone who's just coming up on a month after nearly being killed…."

Her words were nearly whispered, and before she looked down into her lap Tseng swore he saw the beginnings of tears shining in her eyes. He immediately frowned, and his left hand balled into a fist on his far side where she wouldn't be able to see it. The burning in his chest grew worse as his blood pressure rose, and he found it increasingly difficult to draw each breath. He had always hated to see her cry, and knowing that he was the cause cut deeper than the sword that had landed them both in this mess.

"Elena… please don't worry for me," he said, a softness he never allowed himself slipping into his voice. His noted that his accent had grown heavier, but for once he was too focused on other things to be embarrassed. "It really isn't necessary."

Elena glanced up, a bit of surprise on her face as a single tear trailed down her smooth cheek. Tseng fought a sudden, strange urge to reach out and brush it away with his thumb. "Why not?" she asked quietly. "Is it because you think you're superhuman, or because you're just not used to it?"

"Perhaps a bit of both."

Tseng quickly looked away, unable to handle the concern and compassion he saw in her eyes. And she was doing it again… looking right into his soul as if the miles of barricades he'd spent over three and a half decades constructing simply didn't exist. How was he supposed to regain control of his emotions when she so easily got beneath his skin and insisted on caring about him? And with the arrangement they'd made, there would be no putting physical distance between them any time soon… Gods, what had he gotten himself into? It had to be because of all the medication… because of the intense pain and inactivity. Otherwise he would never have grown so weak and allowed this to happen, allowed himself to feel-

"I really wish you wouldn't push yourself so soon," Elena's voice interrupted, trembling ever so slightly. "I know you want to get out of here, and that you miss work and want to help Reno as much as you can, but… if something happens to you, I…"

When she said nothing more, he cautiously turned his head and found her staring at her hands in her lap, slowly shaking her head. She wasn't crying, fighting back the tears with everything she had. She had grown so strong in the last year, and a rush of pride washed over him. Telling Reno that he would personally see to her training had been one of the best decisions he'd ever made, and not just because it had made his second eat his words about her lack of potential; Not only because Elena had turned out to be one of his best Turks…

"I will be fine. I give you my word."

He watched as she slowly lifted her head, her eyes meeting his across the few feet between them. There was a guarded hope within them, and something else buried just beneath the surface that he couldn't read. A jolt ran through him as he steadily met her gaze. He shifted his aching body in order to sit up a bit straighter against the pillows, then slowly offered her his right hand with the palm facing up. As much as the logical part of his brain screamed that he was being a fool, that this was _not_ putting distance between them and controlling whatever nonsense was going on with regards to how he felt for her, he slammed the lid shut on it and kept his hand suspended in the air. It was a struggle to hold it steady, his arm weak and burning with the effort, but he put everything he had into the effort. He would not appear weak to her in this moment.

Elena's eyes left his for a moment, staring down at his hand, then back at his face as if unsure of what to do. He nodded slightly, allowing a slight smile to cross his face. When she finally reached out and placed her small hand in his palm, the warmth he felt from the contact instantly spread throughout his entire body.

"Elena… You have it on my honor that I won't do anything I can't handle. There is no need for you to worry."

Her eyes grew wide, and though his expression didn't change he was further warmed. She knew the weight his words held. He wasn't sure if she knew anything of Wutaiian culture… likely not… but somehow she'd arrived at the proper conclusion that he'd just made her a very serious promise. He felt her fingers curl around his hand and watched as she swallowed nervously, her eyes still locked with his.

"I… all right. Thank you…" she finally managed to say, her voice quiet. She smiled and gently returned his hand to the bed. He hoped she hadn't felt the trembling that had begun to run down his arm, but suspected she must have. When she released her grip Tseng instantly felt cold. He shivered, pulling the blankets up around him.

As he watched her settle back into the chair with a slight smile still gracing her beautiful face, a feeling of contentment settled into the center of his chest. His eyes suddenly felt heavily and he was unable to stifle a yawn. Elena looked much less worried now, and somehow that allowed him to relax as well.

"Go ahead and sleep," Elena said, a softness in her voice that normally would have made him squirm. "I know you've been lying awake over here all afternoon. I'll go and get the book I'm in the middle of and stay right here."

Tseng raised an eyebrow but said nothing, his exhaustion blocking out any reply he might have had. As he started to drift he was vaguely aware of a pair of gentle hands tucking the blankets closer around him.

* * *

((**Author's Notes: **My deepest apologies to all of my loyal readers for how long it took me to update, and also for failing to reply to the reviews for last chapter. As you may know I suffer from chronic health issues, one of which is a complex migraine disorder that is still not being properly managed. I was hit with an episode right after I posted the last chapter, and I was sick to the point of being bedridden for almost the entire month of February. What I managed to post for my other fics were things I'd already had planned and mostly written beforehand, so it kept me from being completely inactive. But unfortunately I didn't have anything prewritten here. I don't usually, but since _Internal Warfare_ was a brand new story in my AU series I'd been preparing to post for months I happened to. Please check it out if you have a chance! The Turks will be featured heavily in it, and Tseng is going to have a big role in the story as well as Reno.

Anyway… I've been feeling passable so far this month, and am trying my best to catch up with everything. I realize this chapter is shorter than my usual, but I wanted to give you all an update and let you know what was happening as soon as I could. Next chapter will get things moving forward again, and hopefully happen within a more reasonable amount of time. I really appreciate your patience and understanding, and I did read and very much love every review I received. Thank you all so very much for your continued support. You guys are the best! Please come and follow me on **Facebook** for almost daily progress updates and just to chat. The link is in my profile, or you can just search for JenesisX. Thanks! _~ JenesisX _))


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