Vampire Diaries 1. Birthday Memories

"**I've caught myself wishing that I could forget all the horrible things you've done".**

Another night of being startled awake by the same dream same as every night the one I have been haunted with for 3 years .The night I told Klaus he was capable of being saved the night my heart almost stopped and the night Klaus saved me again .Even though it had been 3 years and week since that night it still was a haunting memory that cut through my very soul .Hell I couldn't even hear the word love now without hearing his British oh so charming accent.

After he left me on that porch something in me was crushed a part of me I haven't even knew I felt was lost before it even had a chance to really begin. Weeks after the tragic death of Jeremy I was still certain Klaus would be back that man never gave up on what he wanted but months passed and nothing .There were so many losses so many threats from Silas almost half the town was lost and the Cure became the curse on our town . Many battles were fought we almost lost Bonnie to the Darkness for months due to her search for a way to bring Jeremy back but all of it was in vain. There was no way to do it without bringing back more Hell in this town. Elena went on a downward spiral her off switch stayed off for many months .When it did finally switch back on thanks to all our support around her she was a broken shell of the friend I once knew and fought so hard to protect. Many nights I would ring Stefan who had taken her along with Damon somewhere where she would be able to hear far away from the demons that always seemed to find their way into our town. Stefan would always keep me up to date with her progress but a part of me was selfish and I wanted to ask so bad if he had any new from Klaus or from Rebekah or Elijah but I knew the chances were zero .Klaus had buried his brother and left with them they wanted nothing to do with Silas the loss of Kol made Klaus see it was time he protected his family and honoured Kol wish leave Silas the bloody hell alone. Time moved so slow and I had to try so hard to stay above all the pain we had seen and witnessed for my friend sake .I kept in contact with Tyler I never knew where he was just in Case Klaus ever came back and tried to find out from me but he was doing well and I was truly happy for him. Slowly we drifted apart barley speaking once a week sometimes the people you loved once outgrow you and your heart. However my heart had been ruined Klaus showing his compassion had shown me he would do anything for me and now I had lost him forever I feared. It was like a slow illness that crept up on me by the time I finally accepted I had feelings for that frustrating perfect man I let him go a little bit more broken then when I first met him. How many nights did I now spend in my room staring at my bed so many memories here but only one I kept thinking about? The night he came into my house to save me from the bloody wounds he compelled Tyler to bite into my flesh .I was so certain he was there to kill me all I his actions I had witnessed before gave me no reason to think differentially. I wanted to get up and smack him for the cheek he had to walk into my room like he belonged there."Are you hear to kill me" a small grin breaks on my face at that memory the way his face was so hurt .I thought he was just playing the jerk but then he started talking to me like he trusted me talking about his feelings his memories and trying to make me laugh even in all the despair I felt. Then the Alpha male that he liked to claim he was had to utter those damned words the words that made me see me and what I wanted in a whole new light. He had to confess to me that he once thought about dying once or twice he had to share me in on his little secret "there's a whole world out there for you " he had to change me didn't he that's the type of man he was . I realised I wanted it all I wanted to live those thousand birthday I wanted to see those works of art and I wanted to live. All I had to do was ask and somehow I didn't fear him anymore I suddenly realised he was just a man just a man who found it hard to not mess things up wasn't I the same sometimes .Finally I choked out those words "I don't want to die "and before I knew it was being cradled into his arms and being told to "there you go sweetheart have at it" I barley heard him wish me happy birthday all I could feel was euphoria I was alive I had everything to live for and though I didn't admit it at the time to myself his blood was l the most relaxing and nourishing thing I had ever had before and after I died. Then the next day I found his little black box with the most amazing Diamond bracelet I had ever seen. Here we go I thought Caroline Forbes what have you gotten yourself into now.


	2. Reflecting On The Pain Of The Past

Getting myself out of bed I tried to shake that dream clinging to me like cobwebs .Three years later and I was still in the same damn bedroom in the same small town and living the same small town life.

It wasn't all bad; I now ran my own business in a sports centre helping teach kids how to ride horses. . Yes I know not exactly the typical life of a vampire but after years of pain facing all the supernatural threats it was a good thing. Also was on the town committee events board and yes even ran Miss Mystic Falls every year.

Thank the god it only took place once a year so I didn't have to walk past that lake, past that house and past that bench feeling memories of a day at the time had seemed so unimportant in the times to come. That didn't stop the memories from visiting me every day torturing me of the moments I spent with Klaus. Memories at the time I didn't even want I was just trying to distract him so my friends could kill him or moments he forced upon me like the 1920s dance.

Somehow that didn't matter to my heart they were now imprinted in my soul and my curse for not even trying to process my feeling for this man at the time .It was all so overwhelming I thought Tyler was the one I wanted he needed me to be strong he always claimed and he made me feel like the old me again before the Salvatore's ever came to our town and changed our life's forever.

"God Caroline get a grip of yourself "I whispered to myself in the mirror .How many times had I stared in this mirror over the years growing from a confident self obsessed girl into the person who I was now .I searched so hard to try and find that strong confident person people said they saw in me that Klaus said he saw in me. I wasn't strong I was so weak I wanted so much but didn't even know where to begin. Before Klaus I might of thought that this was the life that I had it all what more did I need but now his words would always ruin whatever I did as long I stayed in this small town life.

Sometimes I would just sit for hours staring at my reflection searching for that person I was back then to search for even a flicker of that light Klaus claimed to see in me. No light ever reached me though all I saw was regrets and failure .what use were a thousand birthday if I didn't even know what I wanted id just sit back and live normal and safe existences lifetime after life time.

It wasn't that I hadn't tried to see the world or take chances I just always got scared or pulled out at the last minute .I even applied to get a job in Britain working at a horse ridding school .They loved me from my interview over Skype and offered me the Job. I accepted I wanted it more than anything. But in a matter of days I began to panic I couldn't leave my mum my friends it was safe it was home they were my family and they were the only ones I had to support me. I'd lost so much over my short life had seen my friends and Elena's family slowly destroyed one by one. Slowly creeping fears began to swamp me in a Tidal wave of doubt I wasn't ready for this, what if my friends needed my help and I was in England .My mum was so lonely she worked too hard and I was all she had to come home too . For weeks I struggled in self doubt so scared not knowing what I should do. Like most things in my Teenage life fate came into play and bought heartache my way.

My mother got shot when she was trying to stop a robbery in the general store. Even though she had survived the shooting it had destroyed all my hopes in leaving .My mum was all I had left in this Town now and she was the last of my family, she needed me here. There were many exciting jobs I could do in this town I convinced myself and that's the road I took. Staring at myself one last time I whisper "another normal day again" how many more would be coming my way I didn't know but I knew was another day further from finding the courage to leave this town. "Caroline" my mum called "I left you breakfast on the table probably won't be back before your asleep love you Hun "Then the door slammed shut and it felt like another part of my courage was being shut off with it .Little did I know that today would be the day where fate decided to pay me another visit .


	3. Mystic Grill Ghost Of MyPast

As always work was normal, enjoyable enough but something was missing; just like my life. Not that anyone noticed, I had and always will be good at putting on a strong and confident front; even when I felt like I was dying inside.

Morning soon came and went, before I knew it, it was time to meet some of my work friends for lunch at the Mystic Grille.

It didn't matter how many times I tried to suggest other places, it was the hotspot of the town. For me, though, it was a place of ghostly memories, it was a place where my friends had once laughed, cried and rallied around together.

When I arrived there was only one spot free with a perfect view of the bar. Just flipping great, I'd have to spend the whole meal staring at that bar; the bar where I used to see Matt and Jeremy working behind, the bar where I used to see Alaric and Damon drown their sorrows, the spot where I told Kol and Klaus that I'd rather die of thirst than join them for a drink.

With a small giggle I was bought back into reality, my friends all turned to look at me like I was crazy; oh my god maybe I was.

My friend Tony said, "Babe, are you ok? We were talking about tax returns and you started giggling like you heard the funniest joke ever. Care to share with us?" He flashed his 'I'm oh so handsome and I know it' smile my way but it had no such effect on my heart. Not even a flicker of want passed through me…

Tony had been trying to get me on a date for weeks; it's not that I didn't date anymore, it's just that I was tired of fooling myself into thinking that there was hope for me and any other guy.

In the last 3 years I had a total of 6 different relationships; all perfectly nice charming guys, not like the dicks I used to date in high school, Matt and Tyler being the exceptions at that time.

It didn't matter where they took me, what they talked about, how many times we kissed, for I was incapable of feeling anything other than friendship. What was even more frustrating was that I hadn't had sex for 3 years! I just couldn't do it, no matter how much my body wanted to, my heart always stopped made me stop any time the offer was on the table. Just like every other time in my life; without the sex I wasn't enough for them.

It was like Klaus had turned the switch in my heart to 'off' and no one would ever be able to get it racing again. Hell, I'd bet he got some random witch to put a spell on me or some type of payback for not loving him the way he needed me to.

"Care!" Tony was waving his massive hands in front of my face.

I turned to look at him, "What?" I asked sharply at first, I gave him an apologetic smile as I took note of his hurt expression. "You just keep leaving us. It's like you are here but the warmth, the feeling in you, is lost sometimes. You keep on wandering off in your head when we're talking. It's like you're living a whole different life in there."

Reliving it was more like it, I thought to myself, Reliving every beautiful, painful moment.

"I just need a second." I said before I grabbed my bag and rushing to the restrooms. I passed the bar stools and scoffed, God, I can't even got to the bloody restroom without having to pass the place where Klaus and I sat that night.

Even if I had been sent there to distract him, once again, so Stefan could try and rescue Elena from being kept prisoner, Klaus claimed he was trying to help her break the hunters curse. That night, I tried to act like I didn't want to be charmed by him, but within a few seconds he was flashing me those puppy dog eyes, was being a gentleman and getting me a drink.

Managing to distract him wasn't very hard, he always seemed so focused on every word I said and gave me all his attention. It was like every word I was saying was all he wanted to hear in the world. How did I not see it at the time? Why hadn't I tried harder to see that he wasn't as bad as he seemed to be? Even when he lost his temper with me, when the plan went to **, when Elena escaped…I had to confess to him what we did but he still couldn't harm me.  
He had claimed that he would kill me, no matter how beautiful I was, but I had to try and calm him down.

That night, I was so scared for my friends and I knew for some reason he seemed to listen to only me…But there was another reason I had wanted to calm him though, I felt guilty that I had used him again and I didn't want him to leave like that…Like it was okay to leave me behind.

Even back then my heart was selfishly calling him back to me each time. Now this was my price to pay for pushing him too far every time, for making him hurt too much. My punishment is that I have to live with the memories and the pain of him abandoning me.

Rage was slowly but surely filling me again, I was sick of living like a zombie, unable to feel anything. I just wanted to feel something real again. I felt the blood lust growing; it was always at its worst when I was mad, so I ran full pace to the bathroom closing the door shut behind me.

Reaching into my bag I grabbed my spare blood bags and tore into it without hesitation.

After draining the blood bag, my eyes slowly returned to normal and I felt like I was able to breathe again. My heart still hurt but the pain had never really stopped…Counting to ten, I walked out of the stall I was sitting in and gave myself a second to force a happy smile on my face and composed myself to play the part of the 'happy and too trusting Caroline'.

I made my way back to the table and sat down slowly. I smiled to the group and we all began to tuck in.

Tony leaned into me in a protective yet seductive move and whispered in my ear, "We're all going to the creek near Wickery Bridge tonight. Are you in, Care?"

God, I was so damn tired of making excuses and saying "No, I'm busy." When all I did was sit in and stay on my own, losing myself in the past.

I owed it to myself to have one night…I mean it couldn't possibly hurt right? Turning to the others I said, "Heck, why not? If everyone is going, count me in."

"It's going be a wild night." Amy chimed in with an excited smile.

Little did I know how wild and scary the night would turn out to be…


	4. Deadly Meetings

Seven hours later, I was once again standing in front of my mirror checking my reflection.

I had on a shiny pair of black leggings and was wearing the top I wore the last night I had seen Klaus; It still had a slight red stain in the material where the makeshift lamp stand dagger wound had bled on it.

Just like Klaus, even though I had bad memories associated with it, it was also a part of the good moments we had.

I'd never forget the shock of tasting Klaus' blood in my mouth after I said he could be saved. Before he fed me his blood, I was so certain that I had pushed him too far. I feared that I had rejected him one too many times and he was now unable to feel anything for anyone.

"I guess I'll never know." Were the last words I remember saying but there was one last thought I wished before I started to shake and pass out…I prayed so hard that God or whoever was out there watching us would send him someone who could see the person I saw in him; the painter, the dreamer, the romantic that he was at times.

I knew Klaus loved with a burning passion, a passion that he didn't know how to control. He saw this as hate and I saw it as love. He loved too damn much and it hurt him and all those around him.

He just needed one person to accept him for who he is and I knew he would be ok, I knew that he wouldn't spend forever alone with his heart shut off.

Taking one last glance at the mirror, I smiled sadly at my train of thought and left the sanctuary and safety of my room.

As I was walking to my car my phone started to ring out Nothing by Greta Karen; Anyone who had any sort of heartbreak left unresolved knew just how much this song summed up the pain that consumed us every day. I just couldn't crush that damn man off my list, I had a feeling I never would be able to.

Oh my God…When I saw the caller idea, I freaked when I saw it was Bonnie. I hadn't spoken to her in months; slowly everyone had forgotten about me and had moved on with their exciting or painful lives. I was just another reminder of the past.

Shaking slightly, I spoke into the phone, "Well this is a surprise! Hun aren't you busy saving the world or something?"

"Care, I'm so sorry! I thought it was best if we kept you out of the drama, what with your mum and you are doing so fine; living a normal happy life."

"That doesn't stop you from being able to ring and ask how I am once in a while." I responded sharply, feeling guilty but angry at the same time.

"God, I know. I'm so sorry but Hun I have to warn you I have a bad feeling about tonight…"

"What the heck do you mean a bad feeling?" I shouted into the phone.

"It's hard to explain, but I think you should stay at home and safe. I can feel the spirits stirring, there's something coming back tonight, I fear."

"No, Bonnie, it's far too late to start caring about me. I'm a vampire for God's sake!" I snapped, losing my temper, "I can handle myself, so you can stop worrying about me and ring me if you want to catch up in the morning."

"Wait!" Bonnie's voice rang out, but I ended the call and turned my phone to silent. Slowly, I got in the car and drove to the party.

When I finally arrived I was in a proper 'devil may care' attitude. I just wanted one night where I could relax, let my hair down and drink as much alcohol as I wanted to.

The music was blaring around the forest, the crowd was filled with the usual shallow jocks and insecure girls all trying so hard to fit in and try to feel like they belonged there. Add pumped up hormones with some alcohol and you had a cocktail of mistakes and regrets for the next day.

It seemed strange to me that five years ago this was me; it felt like a lifetime ago…I was a whole other person.

I searched around for a familiar face then thought that maybe this was a mistake…I started to panic; my breathing was becoming rapid, I started to feel a pain in my side. You just need to relax, take a walk and compose yourself! I told myself.

This was a big step for me; I hadn't been out to a party in a whole year. You're just not used to it. I tried to convince myself.

My friends would be here in half an hour which was enough time for me to go hunting for an animal to snack on.

Oh, if Stefan could hear me now…I missed my friend, he had always been there for me 100 % and even now he was any time I needed him.

Wickery Bridge was right in front of me, like a brown ribbon leading me down into the dark; a place where I could find peace and safety to hunt little animals.

Little did I know that I was the one who was about to be hunted…

With each step further away from the party, I began to relax; the anxiety of socializing was leaving me like a storm slowly settling.

I was free to roam and wander with my thoughts. Soon I had wandered so far that I couldn't even hear a whisper of the party going on.

I was completely and utterly alone; What else was new? Even if I was surrounded by people, it was the same. It was good this way though, I have had enough of getting hurt by those around me. It didn't matter how much they claimed to love me, I was always left on my own in the end.

Even Klaus left me; walking out of my life forever.

Wiping the one lonely tear that had fallen down my cheek, I tried to focus on the sounds in the forest and listen out for some poor wondering animal to snack on.

There was a faint scuffling in the forest, I could hear small whimpers of pain being carried in the wind. My heart rate started to spike, I had to feed so I could put the poor animal out of its pain and find it some peace in this ever growing cruel world.

I began to run at full vamp speed; one of the many perks I now got to enjoy as a vampire.

This curse, which had been forced upon me by Katherine, had now turned out to be my gift; it gave me a lifetime's worth of choices.

It was too bad I was just sitting here wasting it all away. One day I'm sure I'll find the strength to leave this town. I thought to myself, but even my heart couldn't trust my thoughts anymore.

It took me one minute to find the clearing where the cries of pain were coming from. The closer I got, the more my fear started to overpower me. It dawned on me that the cries weren't the cries of an animal but of a terrified teenage girl.

Creeping around the side, slowly watching every step I took so that I wouldn't startle her further, I made my way towards the shaking pile of a girl in the middle of the forest floor.

"Don't be scared, I was just at the party and was taking a walk when I heard you crying…Are you ok? Did someone hurt you?" My sentence got stuck in my throat as she turned to me; it was like staring back in a mirror.

This girl looked so similar to me when I was her age, heck she even had a cheerleading outfit on. It was cut and torn is many places. The only difference was that she still posed the arrogance and certainty that the world would always give and never really take from us.

With cautious steps, I began to approach the shaken form and held out a hand to help her get to her feet.

Grasping my hand she slowly began to turn her head upwards and her trembling lips slowly transformed into a sinister smirk.

It was like looking into the eyes of hell itself; one second her eyes were broken and hurt…But now they gleamed with triumph; as if they had their prey right in their hands.

Trying to take a step back, to prepare myself to fight if I needed to, I moved my arm but all I felt was a sharp small pain with a numbing tingle.

Slowly it began to spread up my arm and through my body; within seconds it felt as if every vein was carrying vervain around my body.

God, I had been tortured so many times but this pain was nothing compared to those times…not even when Alaric had kidnapped and tortured me for hours in a classroom.

It felt as if my body was slowly eating itself alive while breaking every bone in my body.

With torturous small steps, the girl approached me and leaned down to whisper to me, "When we are done with you, there won't even be one flake of ash to be found. Don't you worry, the pain will soon be over, but not until I can destroy the evil I created and you're the key, my pretty." She rasped in my ear and it was truly a voice of the dead.

It was all too much for my broken heart. My body slowly took me to oblivion and into the darkness…

Slowly my body began to heal itself as the venom started working it's way out of my system.

My eyes were still so heavy, it was so difficult to even focus on the spot in front of me. I was most certainly not in the forest anymore.

I was in a van, chained up with shackles or at least that's what it felt like anyways; the ground was certainly moving under me.

But unlike the time when Klaus was in Tyler body, I had no one to save me. Absolutely no one.

Closing my eyes, I curled into myself; I really had no fight left in me. It really seemed as if karma had come knocking at my door one final time.

The night drifted on, we must have been driving for a few hours. I kept slipping in and out of a broken sleep; half awake, some screams started to reach my ears from the driver's seat.

Then my world went further into hell as the car skidded off the road and started its dangerous descent to whatever would stop its course.

All I could pray for was that in the wreckage, the chains would break and I'd be able to get free, I had just a glimmer of hope at escaping.

With one sickening crunch, the car impaled itself on some unseen object. From a steel cage to a steel death trap, it felt as if the walls around me were crushing and breaking apart.

My arms were almost torn from their sockets as black spots appeared in my eyes.

The pain was so intense I almost blacked out, I held my head in my hands as I began to try and think of a way I'd be able to get out of this.

The breath in my body left me as I heard the door being ripped open. They were coming for me…It wasn't over. They had survived and I was still going to die.

Why oh why didn't I listen to Bonnie?! I screamed the thought in my head.

With one final, sickening crunch, the door was torn off its hinges. Turning my head slowly, I found the courage to turn my face to greet them.

If I was going to die, I was going to face the killer in front of me so they can die with my face in their memories.

"No, it can't be." I gasped, my body slowly absorbing the shock. I must've been dreaming; this was a vision…I must've been dead, that was the only thing that made sense.

"Hello, love. Seems you're still one for chasing the darkness then. You and trouble always seem to find each other don't you, Sweetheart?" He said with a short raspy tone and a devilish small grin.

My poor broken body had been through enough that night, but his entrance back in my life was more than my heart was able to take.

For the second time tonight, the darkness took me away into the emptiness…The emptiness was a place of safety and peace.


	5. Nothing Can Change

Three bloody years I have stayed away, kept my distance, tried to move on and now who do I have to end up saving tonight?

My Caroline; the one who shone over the darkest and coldest places of my heart…

No not mine she never wanted you she only wanted Tyler. Enough. I slowly composed myself. She is nothing to you she is just a reminder of the past you ran away from. Just carry her to the side of the road make sure she safe enough then dump her on the ground like she did with your heart, my poisoned mind thought.

Why the hell did she have to faint on me? She just had to fall at my feet now after all this time of me begging her to give me a chance, to let me take her away and show her the world now?

She had only been back in my life again for 3 minutes but she has already destroyed all my self-control. All those nights I had been tortured with the past, been tortured with the questions of what ifs…What if I had said this, done this? Would it have ever been enough for her to have even given me a chance?

"It doesn't matter, I don't need any chances. I have moved on forever and I won't think like this." I choked out, my sarcastic tone, however, no matter how much I tried, was unable to mask the pain and bitterness I felt still.

Nik get a **ing grip on yourself, Mate, my brain snapped, just move her somewhere where she can find help and then be done with it.

Darting forward, I threw the chains off her bruised and battered wrists and made to grab her and lift her over my shoulders. Nothing wrong with carrying her like a caveman, a small smirk began to play on my lips.

Slowly bending down to tug her arms around my neck, I froze.

The most pained breath escaped her body, a small unconscious cry of sorrow and hurt escaped her lips.

It was like someone had stuck a million daggers in my heart; it tore me to my frozen core. Every barrier I had put up to protect my heart from her felt like it was being smashed down.

Even after all this time, she still had power over me and all it took was one breath. Hell, she wasn't even awake yet.

The plan was still the same, I knew deep down in my heart, but she was asleep, the small kindness I would show her would be something she wouldn't be able to recall in the morning; which means she can't throw back my actions of caring and pity in my face.

I'd still be the broken Alpha Male in her mind, always worthy of being alone.

Clasping her arms around my neck I lifted her and embraced her to my chest. Her breathing seemed to calm to and relax slightly at my contact.

No, I was fooling myself, always seeing signs of hope, hoping that she was affected by me like I was her but they were all lies.

My fist clenched to my side, the thoughts slowly crushing around my heart, suffocating it in more pain of the past. My breathing started to shake and hitch as Caroline leaned into my shoulder, using it like a pillow, curling in to me, clinging to me.

Not being able to help myself, however much I tried, I lifted my hand to cradle the back of her head, pulling her closer to me.

It was time to go before I started running my fingers through her hair like I had done that night.

That night I had come so close to letting her die from my bite. God, I had felt the shock in her body when I had fed her my wrist slowly bringing her back to life.

Just in that moment I wanted to care for her like she was mine and would always need my comfort and arms to cradle her.

Checking she was secure, I paced out of the van not even daring to stop for a second. I had to get her home, safe in bed. Then I would be leaving again, already it was getting dangerous for me to be around her.

During the fifteen minutes of tortuous driving, not once had I allowed myself to look over at the delicate women beside me. My hands were numb to the bone from clutching the steering wheel so hard.

Finally the car pulled up outside the Forbes' residence.

Shutting the engine off, I willed myself to get out of the car and carry her out.

Leaning dangerously close to her face, I leaned in and gently guided her arms around my neck once again.

Her body immediately responded to my warmth, she wrapped her arms tighter around my neck…she was closer to me then I had ever dared to dream and even now I had to leave her…Again.

Feeling the path under my feet, I slowly walked up the porch steps, deliberately turning my back so I didn't have to stare at the porch swing; the last place I had ever seen Caroline.

The place where I had uttered the words "It was all for you, Caroline."

It was there that my heart had finally realized whatever I did, however much I tried to show her it would never be enough.

It had been the death blow to me, it was more than I was able to take. My brother had just been burned alive before my eyes and now the only hope I had for a person to spend my life with was gone.

Shutting out the memories of the past I barged through the door and up the stairs, not caring if Liz was home or not.

Turning to open the door with my shoulder, I reluctantly took my hand away from her head and turned the handle.

Forcing myself forward, I carried her to the bed. I refused to turn and look around the room. It didn't matter that I had already decided to walk out of her life for a second time. There was no way I could bring myself to see the pictures of the people she now loves, the guy she must now be with. There was no doubt in my mind that she wasn't taken, she was always too **ing perfect in every way.

Falling to the side of the bed, I lifted her out of my arms and into her covers. She moaned at the loss of my arms, it was so quiet at first and I thought it was karma making me hear things that I wanted but no there it was again.

My chest crushed to a stop, my breath holding itself in my body, this couldn't change anything.

Turning around one last time, I bent down to brush my fingers along her cheek one last time, just one last moment to cherish her light.

Withdrawing my hand painfully from her side, my head turned away to the side, away from the one thing I was always going to be lost to.

Walking so slow as not to make a sound, began my journey to leaving Caroline once again for good.

She had her life and her friends and I wouldn't destroy any more parts of her happiness. All I knew was that she was safer a million miles away from me, the only reason she had got dragged in this mess was because of me.

As soon as she was awake I would do the one thing I promised myself I would never do.

I would compel her to forget me and every moment we ever shared.

However long I had to deal with the hole she made in me was my punishment, but I could save her from the hurt of the past I had ever brought her way.


	6. Re Untied Where We Parted

Guys thanks so much for all your lovely comments so far .Here it is chapter6 .Klaus thoughts and speech is in Bold and Caroline in Italic's hope this help .As Always i love feedback helps me so much .

Klaus…Oh my god Klaus was here. was the first thought that reached my traumatized brain. Willing myself to open my eyes, which weighed as if they were made from lead, I slowly dared my eyes to open to see where my battered body had ended up.

My world was brought gently into focus, but this can't be right. My heart started to flutter against my chest. I was back in my room in, back in my bed. Bile started to rise in my throat while my heart began constricting in panic.

What if it had all been a cruel dream? What if I imagined it all? My heart wished for nothing more than to have a chance to see him just once again. The painful thoughts made me so numb that I didn't even notice my eyes starting to glisten with tears.

Leaping from the bed, I rushed to see myself in the mirror. There was the evidence right in front of my eyes. My clothes were bloodied, torn and stripped in so many places. Whatever injuries had been inflicted on me had long since healed, being a vampire did have its perks. It meant it was all real the party, the girl who attacked me in the woods, being drugged, transported in the van, the crash, the pain…Klaus.

My heart felt like it was a small bird fighting to escape its cage. What if someone else had saved me and I just wanted it to be him? My brain always saw what it wanted to see. The house was deadly silent. There was no one around, once again I was all alone. The flickers of doubt in my mind started to flare up…What if he did save me but he left me again, walking away out of my life, again. That thought drowned me in a wave of despair and heartache. It couldn't be over, I haven't lost my chance to see him after all this time.

Spiraling out of my room, I ran to every room not caring if any one heard me, I began to cry out for him. With each empty room and unanswered call my fear overwhelmed me, the loneliness I had always felt began to consume my soul. It truly felt as if I was breaking from the inside out. There was only the sitting room left to check, with one last desperate cry my voice called out to him one last time. Calling him by the name I always regretted never saying Nik.

**I had been standing on the porch for a minute, my grin slowly growing the more she called out for me. She sounded so angry that I knew I was in for it, but with each cry more desperation seemed to break from her voice. It was like she was scared I was no longer there. No, it couldn't be, that made no sense. Just one moment more, I thought, no harm in keeping a woman waiting and on her toes.******

**"Nik! Nik! Nik!" No, it couldn't be…she would never call me by that name, but with each Nik I heard, her voice started to shake a little more like she was trembling, slowly falling into the fear that I had left her all alone. **

_He was truly gone, leaving me not once but twice with my unresolved feelings. Starting to tremble, I collapsed on the sofa staring in the empty fireplace losing myself in the dark pile of ashes. Like my heart, it had lost the flames of life and was slowly burning out from all the darkness of the past._

**How did I always mange to bring more pain into peoples' lives? Why did I not answer her straight away? Caroline has just been kidnapped you idiot. She passed out and woke up alone and you let her run through the house screaming your name. Now she was shaking like a broken branch in a storm, I thought to myself.******

**I couldn't hold back anymore, "I'm here, Sweetheart. Care to join me on the porch? And no matter how lovely my name sounds on your lips, you're waking up the whole neighbourhood with all your shouting for me."**

_I'd gone mad, I finally lost it…I could hear him calling to me. Whether this was real or not, my whole self was compelled to take a chance and meet him on my porch. The porch where we had last parted would be where we were reunited; for however long I wanted to fight for any of those moments._

**Hearing her make her way towards me sent shots of electric jolts to my heart. When I had left 3 years ago, I truly left thinking I'd never see her again. Now I had no idea what she would feel or say at seeing me again. Let the fun begin, I thought, my smile slowly spreading to try and hide the fear I had for our reunion. Turning ever so slowly, I tried to prepare myself to see the face of the person I craved for more than my next breath.**

_Taking tentative steps across the porch, I realized that it was really him, that he hadn't left me. My feelings swamped me, engulfing me with all the emotions from the last 24 hours. Trembling ever so slightly, I brought my eyes to meet his gaze, "Is It really you? I thought you had left me." I wanted to say again but the word was trapped in my throat._

**"Where would my manners be if I left a traumatized woman alone? Surely you thought better of me." I said, staring down at Caroline, expecting some sort of witty remark, something along the lines of go find another damsel in distress to try and charm with your manners.**

**Instead, I was being hugged with the force of an earthquake. Her delicate arms were clutching my back in a tight embrace, like she was scared to let me take one step away from her. My balance was lost hurtling to the side, I used my superhuman speed to clutch Caroline to my side as we fell backwards on the swing set. Taking one moment to cherish this fortunate and unexpected act, I turned my head toward her and just breathed this moment in.**

**Finally, this beautiful silence was broken by five of the sweetest word I'd ever heard, speaking against my chest she uttered, "Thanks for saving me again."******

**Moving my hands to cradle her face, making her meet my eyes, I whispered, "No problem, Sweetheart. It was nice to know you were thankful for that…Before you forget me, I'm afraid." turning my head to the side as I said it, unable to look into her eyes. How did the Original Hybrid turn into such a coward? I thought.**

_"What do you mean forget?" She gasped out._

**Struggling to find the right way to phrase this to make her see that this was the right thing for her, I composed my breathing**_**. "Look at me."**_** She painfully whispered, gently clutching my t-shirt, trying to get me to turn to her **_**"**__What do you mean?"__  
_

**"Caroline…" God, I still loved the way her name rolled of my tongue, like it was made for me to say, "I can't fight you on this. It has to be done, you deserve to live a life without the painful scars I've inflicted on you, that are still being inflicted on you because of me." My temper was rising; everything that happened to her last night was all a ruse to trap me.**

_"Don't you dare…don't you bloody dare." Caroline leaned into my side and whispered in my ear, "You turn around and face me…You explain to me what gives you the right to change my memories…to change me."_

**Caroline held my head in her hands, making me look in her tear stained eyes. There was so much pain swimming in the surface of her eyes, all I wanted to do was take it away, to help heal some of the pain that living in this town brought her way.**

_"This is my life…This is my choice. The memories are mine and no one can take them away from me, no one…Do your hear me?"_

Her words trembled. **God she was making this so hard. Indecision was taking over my strong willed arguments for doing this but there was no choice. It had to be done**.

**Leaning back, lifting my arms over my head and forcing the most convincing, chauvinistic smile, "Well I'm the alpha male, so I guess that means me, Love. You will thank me in the end, any-" My words were cut off and my face felt like it was on fire, the numbing feeling already spreading on my cheek. Caroline had slapped me. **

**Not a little slap, but a proper slap with venom and force behind it. Before I had time to process my shock, she was already running away into her house, leaving me standing on the porch alone…just like the night I had left her.****  
****  
****What a sweet irony to this world, I thought as I approached the door and prepared myself for the next step. Not caring who was watching I kicked the door down with one simple kick. This conversation was far from over.**


	7. The Heart Hurting Games we Play

As Always none of this would be possible without my Perfect Betas Samantha and Marianne who have helped me edit 3 chapters since Saturday.

I really hope you enjoy this chapter I just couldn't stop writing them the thoughts kept coming .Hope you feel it is not too rushed I wrote this in about five hours.

As always I love feedback and hearing from all you loves. The song that inspired this chapter for me was Love the way you lie by Eminem and Rihanna.

Klaus thoughts are in Bold and Caroline's in Italics' to help you out when reading.

_Resting my head on the fridge, I tried to steady my rapid and unsteady breaths. Klaus had only been back in my life for a few moments and already I had attacked him with a hug that had almost knocked us both to the ground and then I had ended our meeting with slapping that insufferable man.___

_For the first time in years I felt all my emotions rushing to the surface. In the last 3 years I had only existed…feeling only half emotions, all of which were dulled in their strength to make me feel alive.___

_Rage was boiling inside of me with the after effects of the intensity of our conversation on the porch. My anger continually kept hitting me with new waves every few seconds, completely swamping all my shock and happiness at seeing him again.___

_How dare he?! He wanted to change me…to change my past. All the while claiming he was trying to protect me. Where was he to protect me in the last 3 years? the acidic thought rising in my mind.___

_Now he was trying to remove his guilt for the pain he felt on inflicting pain in to my life on his part. It was all so he could walk away from me once again with a clean conscience. "No bloody way in hell is that happening." I spat out to myself, the anger trying to mask the fear I felt with the thought of his departure again.___

_My nails had begun to dig into the flesh of my hands as I was clenching them that tight, lost in the despair and rage that was coursing through my body.___

_I have had enough of biting down my tongue, of letting people tell me how to feel and making decisions they think are best for me.___

_Klaus better get ready because I had only just begun telling him how I was feeling. Whatever it takes, I am going to battle him every step of the way in his moronic idea to compel the memories from my soul.___

_Suddenly my ears were shaken with the force of noise coming from the hallway. All I could hear was breaking hinges, smashing glass and wood being torn to shreds. Tell me he didn't…he had just torn down my bloody door!_

**Raging forwards, I stormed in and found her in the kitchen. Caroline was physically shaking over our confrontation outside; her body still being raked with the aftershock of our heated and desperate words. Clearly, I had only inflamed that anger further by tearing down her door.******

**Even with her features pulled into a tight scowl she had the most perfect beautiful face that I had ever set my eyes upon in my thousands plus years of life.******

**"I'm so sorry about that, love. I'd happily have one of my hybrids come over and fix your door but I'm afraid I killed them all…Who knows, maybe you should try giving Tyler a call, he owes you a favour for making me spare his pathetic life." the jealous thoughts adding more spite to my tone.******

**"If all else fails, I'll repair it for you, I'm rather talented with my hands, not that you have ever let me show you." I braved saying adding a wink in her direction. My wink was returned with another forceful attack to the head. This time a book was the culprit, slamming down near my feet.******

**"Did you just hit me again the second time in ten minutes?" I snarled, staring intensely in her eyes. There were so many emotions swirling around her eyes, rage shining the brightest of them all. I was playing with fire but I didn't ever want to stop.******

**"Must be the shock from the attack last night…I'll let it pass this time, Sweetheart but don't make it a third time. You will start to hurt my feelings or my charming face."******

**Bending down slowly, never taking my eyes off Caroline's shaking form, I picked up that damn book that had packed such a punch to my face.******

**The shock at what I was seeing clearly mirrored on my face. Caroline had smacked the Original Hybrid with 50 Shades Of Grey. This was a turn up for the books, literally.******

**"Caroline, love, if you wanted me to read you 50 shades of grey all you had to do was ask." I purred seductively, loving the way her reaction was so clearly mapped out on her face.******

**The shock of what book she had hit me with caused the anger to slowly drain out of her expression, replaced with embarrassment and nervousness. Her complexion was so flawless and pure, she clearly couldn't hide the blush that my words had put on her face.******

**That was all the encouragement I needed for my grin to stretch even further across my face. The Alpha male has still got it, I beautifully thought to myself.**

_What had I done?! I was so mortified with myself. God why was life so cruel?! Of all the objects to reach for, it had to be that book. The book I had been trying to finish ever since I bought it.___

_The problem was that every time they mentioned Mr. Grey or whatever his name was, Klaus' face was all I saw. It was almost as if the writer had taken his personality from Klaus and then put it in a book to torture my desires further.___

_I began to worry that my heated intense train of thought was showing on my face even more and fuelling his inflated ego to new heights. I had to come up with something to wipe that smile off his face. However much I had missed him, I wouldn't let anyone ever control me again and two could play at the little games he liked to inflict on me with his words.___

_"Thanks for the offer but my guy keeps me more than satisfied reading it in my ear at night." Oh crap, the minute the words had escaped my lips I felt sick to the stomach.___

_What had I been thinking?! Why would I say that?! God I was just so angry and…it was too late, the flicker of hurt I saw in Klaus' eyes had been replaced with something much colder. It felt as if he had pulled all his emotions back in his steel caged heart.___

_The silence was chilling cutting me to my core. I was just standing there, having no idea where I should start to repair the damage of my words.__  
__After a torturous minute of empty silence, he turned intently in my direction and as always, never respecting my personal space, he was mere centimetres away from my body._

**Those damn words pierced my heart, ripping it to shreds. Even though my brain had always suspected she was taken, hearing it was a whole new world of pain. Just another reason to add to the list of why it was better to leave this town and escape Caroline once and for all the first chance I got.******

**She still didn't get it, she was still not being treated right. Why didn't she see?!******

**Snarling my response at her, I had to choke out the words she needed to hear, "Well, he might keep you warm at night but where was he to protect you last night? It's clear to see you still settling for being someone's second choice. If you had been mine, I never would of left you for a second, not one second. When I compel you and I will, you won't ever settle for anyone who doesn't want to be surrounded in your light for every second of his life; that is one thing I promise I won't fail you on."******

**My werewolf side was battling myself demanding I grab her to me and just shake her gently until she started to see the only person who would ever want her that much would be me.******

**There was never going to be any victory in this fight, this longing had to stop now. Walking away was the only choice…there was only one more thing to tie up before me and my family began to run again from the darkness of our bloody past.******

**"Well It time for me to depart. I wouldn't want to cause a scene in front of your boyfriend now would I?" Turning my back on her sharply, I began the ever painful journey away from her.******

**I needed space…needed to think and needed to decide on the best way to compel her before I left.**

_My heart was thumping against my chest like a steel drum, its ripples of shocks shaking my fragile body even further.___

_That was the most spine tingling soul consuming sentence any one had ever said to me and now he was leaving…always trying to be the gentlemen. Already, the tomb of despair was closing around me again. I couldn't let him leave until I had his promise he would be back.___

_"Wait." I whispered out the fear of being left alone clearly ringing out in my voice. Starting to pace forwards to catch up with the distance he had already left between us, my progress was stopped with a drilling like pain in my skull making me convulse and double over from the pain.___

_Klaus arms were around my body in a manner of seconds and I was swept off my feet and gently placed on the work top. When the pain has slowly subsided I bought my gaze to meet the eyes of my protector once again._

**Placing my angel on the worktop, I placed my hands on her waist dragging her closer to me to inspect the damage…to try and understand what had just attacked her body.******

**I tried to distract my mind from how her legs felt hanging beside me as I leaned into her and trailed my hands protectively up her arms, trying to help calm and comfort her body after the latest ordeal.******

**However, the emotion I awoke in Caroline was the opposite of that, within a matter of seconds she was wriggling against me in spasms. Caroline was ticklish, how on earth did I not know this? Another thing to imprint on my memory forever.******

**My breathing started to constrict and hitch, the closeness had gone from protective and was now taunting and flaming my body in need, my body struggling to act like a gentleman as she was gifting me with the feel of her body against mine.******

**Reluctantly taking my hands off her waist, I placed them on the worktop, praying that the coldness of the surface would help cool my body and its ideas of where it wanted to go next.****  
****"Caroline, love, you cannot do that again." Her eyes drifted to my face in confusion not understanding how she had unsettled me, asking me a silent question of why at me.******

**"Caroline, I just can't…if you move like that against me again I will lay you on this worktop and kiss you until all the hurt and pain we had will cease to exist. Hell, I think I'd kiss you forever till we even forget our names**.

**Seeing the mass of emotions conflicting on her face at my words was a small torture in itself. Her face was like a maze, one I never wanted to escape from. Even now she was pulling me closer with her sense of gravity, so close her breaths radiated around my ears.******

**Never had I wanted to feel something so much, been so desperate to have just one kiss with someone. But my heart could never take that leap, not until she trusted me enough to let me know this is what she truly wanted. It was and always would be Caroline's step to take.**

_My breathing was out of control, moments ago I was struggling to breathe from the pain from the laughter of being caressed and now my breathing has turned into little more than small pants.__  
_  
_Our frantic desperate breaths were mixing, surrounding us in the heat of our bodies. His words had awakened my body, sending tingles throughout it with ripples of desire.___

_My body craved his words, his spoken desires more than anything right now but even now there was a barrier holding him and us back. The intensity of our lingering stares on each other faces was making me clench the side board so hard my knuckles had turned stone white.___

_Why was he unable to take that jump to just kiss me? Searching his intense and conflicted face, I suddenly saw the answer so clearly. He was scared of hurting me, of forcing me into this step. If I was the only barrier in the way there wasn't a chance in hell that I would stop this from happening.___

_Reaching to his side, I cradled his hand in mine and slowly brought it up to my cheek just gently moving it against my face. Feeling his breath hitch even further in want and surprise at my actions, I lifted my head up leaning into him, allowing a small smile to shine on my face. When he clearly got my message for the go ahead he started his descent towards me never taking his eyes away from mine ..._

**No! My brain screamed, fate could not be this cruel as my ringtone rang out around us. My moment to kiss Caroline, the moment I had dreamed about all these years, it was all over as I had forgotten to put my phone on silent.******

**Tearing it out of my pocket, I checked to see which person had decided to ruin my chance of happiness, oh just brilliant, it was Elijah with more depressing news.******

**Snapping the phone open, I answered the call "What is it, Brother?" I snapped.******

**"Niklaus, are you alright? You seem very tense and angry." Elijah calmly uttered.******

**"Elijah what news do you have and make it fast. What have you found out? And for God's sake, it's Nik not Niklaus, only mother ever called me that." I could hear Caroline giggling beside me at my schoolboy comments.******

**Elijah as always, calming with my moods, brought more gloom into our lives with his next sentence, "I'm afraid it is as we feared. Mikael is no longer in his tomb, he has risen again. This time I fear he has mother's help alongside him."******

**"I'll be there in five…" was my only response as I ended the call.****  
****Meeting Caroline's once again, seeing her panic at what news could make me leave her in such a rush, felt like it was breaking me but I had to keep her safe and she would listen to me.**

**Caroline you are to stay in this house, do you hear me? Lock your door, stay safe and I will send word when we can talk again."**

_"But my door was decimated when you came storming through it." I shouted, crying back to him in the shock at the change and rapid pace of the events since he came back in the kitchen.___

_It was no use, he was barrelling to the door just taking the time to shout back. "I'll send someone over to fix the door, but don't you dare step one pretty foot out of that door or I swear I won't come back."___

_Once again the silence was my only companion…_


	8. Slowly Coming Undone

_As Always I must thank my beta Sam and Marianne you guys are epic. This would be nothing without you loves who read it. Here it is Chapter 8 enjoy._

_Five hours had passed since Klaus left me utterly alone again. Though I had tried to distract my traumatized and shaken wreck of a brain with housework in that time, my body was still on tender hooks. My household surfaces had been pounded to death and cleaned to over kill.___

_The fear was always trying to seep into my thoughts and toxin my every breath. What had taken him away?...What if he never came back?...What threat was targeting me as a weapon against Klaus?... What was that pain that had raked my entire body earlier?___

_I had lied; pretending that the pain had dispersed in the kitchen when Klaus had been caring for me. I didn't want to scare him, to make him feel even guiltier for the attack on me last night…to give him further convictions to compel the shadow I cast over him out of my memories.___

_Suddenly a sickening thought creeped into my heart, what if I had been the one who had planted this idea in his head all those years ago when I had uttered those life changing words , well for me they were, "I've caught myself wishing that I could forget all the horrible things you have done."___

_It seemed as if, finally, my wish was going to be granted in the cruelest way. My own words were going to be the ones to seal my sentence if Klaus had his way.___

_Caroline you have to find a way. My soul cried out in protest.__  
__There must be a way to make him see this will never be the path that will save him and me from the heartache of the past. Then it hit me, the answer from the same conversation from that same night.___

_"Anyone capable of love is capable of being saved." Slowly those words caressed my worries slightly and soothed my fears. This was it, my chance to make up for the mistakes of my past with Klaus; for letting him down by not trying to accept the connection that had been too intense for my young self to acknowledge.___

_I had to show him, to finally prove to him, that he was worthy of someone even if that person might never be me. Before I even had half a second to try and plan the stepping stones to this scheme the doorbell attacked my senses with it shrill rings. Throwing the cleaning cloth to the floor I left to greet the guest who had freed me from my solitary existence.___

_My eyes were met with a view of a stranger standing in my wreck of a doorway. "I'm here to fix your door." His rough voice greeted me, "To be honest, the door is massacred to pieces and the frame is beyond repair…" Pausing and searching round for a second he spoke again "I'll probably have to rebuild the whole framework."___

_My teeth were starting to grit in frustration at the diagnostic of the work that had to be carried out. All due to the fact the big bad wolf couldn't ring the bloody doorbell, my thoughts chimed in.___

_The repairman took my clenched jaw as a sign that I was worried about the cost, "Don't worry, it's all covered. The gentlemen paid me extra to fix it straight away and also deliver you this."___

_Placing his tools to the side he reached into his pocket and handed me a black case like the one Klaus had given me with the diamond bracelet. Some things never changed, even though I wanted to be angry with this man, the fact he was still surprising me with caring gestures made my heart flutter still.___

_Thanking the man and leaving him to get started, I settled in the warmth of the sofa and clasped open the box to peek inside at what Klaus had needed me to see. Taking the paper scroll and slowly untangling the ribbon, I began to read the words meant for me._

Sorry about the door my love as you know I get very hot headed ;-). It has all been taken care of, though I'd never dare admit it, I know how to play Prince Charming every now and then. Don't tell anyone, I wouldn't want it to ruin my Psychopath killer reputation any further. Now if you kept your promise and didn't set a pretty foot out of the door, then I think you deserve the pleasure of a nice evening. I cordially invite you to dine with me and what little I have left of my family.

_The small grin that had slowly been widening reading his humorous and idiotic words drew to a halt at the sadness of his pain at his family losses. The death of family member, whatever the wounds that remained, were always a scar that never truly healed. Returning my eyes to the letter, I continued to read the rest of his letter._

I try my best to fill you in all the information we have gathered about the threats that never seem to stop coming across our paths. In case this letter reaches the wrong hands, I will write this in a way only you will know. Find me in the place where you were first honest with me, where I showed you a passion of mine and where I promised I would show you the world; even Toky . Even with all this depressing matter we must discuss over dinner, I'm sure we can find time for one dance. For old time sakes and some traditions never get old. Just do me one honour, make sure you dress the way you deserve; like an angel. Even if you were in rags you still always own the room with your grace. Rather annoyingly after all this time the same can be said. You once said I looked perfect but in my eyes that was always you. It is not wise for me to drive up to your house and escort you but I'll send one of the last people I trust to pick you up at 8. It's too dangerous for you to go anywhere on your own .I ask only this: you stay safe inside and don't try to chase anymore darkness ;-)

K

_Jumping off the sofa in seeing the shock at the time on my watch; 6:50…I charged up the stairs in my rush to start getting ready. This time there would be no doubt in my mind what I would wear.___

_Flinging the door open in my overstuffed cupboard, I pulled out the ball gown he had given me all those years ago.___

_I had my weapons and my diamond bracelet. This was a start to show him that the memories, the items he gave me were not all bad to me. If he kept on planning to torture me with the threats of compelling me then I planned to make it as hard for him as possible to forget the past we once shared. For the first time in years, my spirit felt like it had hope and strength again. However small, it was something I was going to need in this battle._

**For the last 3 hours I had been working out and smashing out all the anger and hurt I felt from this afternoon. My hands were tender and raw, the victims of my strikes against the bean bags.****  
****However hard I tried, I kept picturing this stranger's face snarling at me laughing in my face. My heart rising up in anger, that he got to be the angel's lover, that she walked with him by her side.******

**Even after the peace I found in writing that letter for her, my blood was still boiling with jealousy. My words and hopes for things she deserved would never be enough to make her see me, even if the threats of my family were not an obstacle. Her invitation of trying to let me kiss her must have been a figment of my dark imagination. Elijah saved me from making another mistake, was the last thought in this dark spiral when my alarm beeped at me.******

**Forty minutes to get ready before I had to greet the woman who always owned the sweetest torture in my heart.**

_Blood was pounding in my ears, my heart felt like it was beating like that hummingbird Klaus had mentioned to me on the day of our date during miss Mystic Falls. For the last two minutes I had been standing in the portrait room waiting for this night to begin and finally find out what the hell was going on. My skin was on fire from the tingles of apprehension taking over my body. I couldn't shake the feeling that I was being watched from the shadows._

_"__Well__it appears you just get tastier with the more time that passes__."_

_A seductively husky voice uttered into the room. No, it couldn't be, he was dead. I had helped covered his burnt corpse as Klaus had watched with the most acute pain._

_Kol. Spinning around, I turned my body to face another ghost of my past.__His Eyes were like hot black coals burning into my gaze._

_"Bu-But you're dead." I stuttered out._

_"Was…I was dead."_

He said with vulnerability, a quality I would never have associated with him before. He was always so cocky, always searching for trouble and fun. He was the ultimate sexy bad boy who only cared about himself but made you always feel special.

"But how is this possible?" my voice barely holding back the shock at the weirdness of this situation.

His highly exaggerated British accent drawled out the next sentence with such confidence it was shocking.

_"Darling, when you are as perfect as me, you always find a way back. It's a rather fascinating story, one worthy of being saved for dinner"but it's a killer tale…Forgive me, where are my manners? I haven't properly welcomed you this evening."_ _His line delivered with one hell of a smirk._

My hand was snatched from my side and placed in his palm. Bringing his lips down to my hand he gently placed a swift and soft kiss on my hand.

**"Step back brother. Now." my voice ringing out its warning at his actions, while sending a stern and clear message to Kol that she was mine. With my sharpened hearing I had heard the echoes of their conversation and even though I knew my brother was being his harmless flirty self, it hadn't stopped me from wanting to start another brotherly fight.******

**Clearly marking my warning, Kol stepped away and turned to give me an 'it was all an innocent' gesture face, before he died I never would have fallen for it, but now I gave him the benefit of the doubt.******

**As calmly as I could muster, I tried to not enjoy the feeling of delivering the next line. "Your wife is looking for you, it's not nice to keep a lady waiting."******

**Caroline's face was a picture, she was clearly shocked that this Original player had chosen one woman. Hell Rebekah and Elijah were still all in shock. Love made no sense and the same could be said about life. Sometimes there was no logic.******

**"Well I won't deny her a minute longer without my presence and Caroline that's another story we will chat over dinner but what a story." Kol said, adding one final wink towards us both as he strolled out of the room.******

**Silence was once again surrounding us, creating tension neither one of us knew how to break. Our eyes once again began to gravitate towards each other, unable to resist the pull our bodies always seemed to create when we were together. It was becoming increasingly difficult to form clear thoughts through the intensive stares we were exchanging.**

_God say something anything woman, my brain begged of me. Breaking the hold of our stares, I shyly glanced downwards and managed to form an actual sentence. "Shall we go to dinner? I don't want to keep everyone waiting." speaking my words to the floor. It was going to be a very long night if I couldn't even face him when we were discussing dinner matters._

**My mind was lost the minute Kol had left the room, I was captivated and lost in the memories of the past. Caroline was a vision wearing that gown…the one I had bought for her. How did she still have it? Why did she want to wear it after all this time?****  
****It made no sense to me. My thoughts drifted back to the past, remembering the feeling I experienced when she had walked into the room for my family's ball.******

**My heart had actually felt like it was in arrest…the sentence I had planned to say to the guest was wrenched from my mouth. That was the moment…the moment I had fallen in love with her…the moment I knew, even though love was a weakness it was one I would risk, just to have her by my side.******

**Even now, the threads of the past were trying to tear me away from what I needed to do, to protect her to make her forget so she could be free to live the life she truly deserved without the scars of the past upon her back.******

**Knowing Caroline, she knew it would have this effect on me and she was trying to torture me further.******

**Slowly her words started to process in my mind something, about dinner drifted through my addled mind. My eyes had been focused on the curve of her neck as she leaned her head to the floor not from blood lust but in wonderment at how every part of her was fragile and graceful.******

**Making my way attentively to her side I stretched out my arm for her to take. There was one place I wanted to show her before dinner. Whatever was coming our way I wanted to give her just one special night and try and show her how I saw her through my eyes. Even when the pain of our separation would be a long distant memory, this night would be an antidote to help sooth my broken soul.**

_I was being swept away, carried to god knows where. "Why are we outside?" I said shivering regretting my choice at not wearing a coat but I didn't want the effect of my chosen dress to be masked behind any layers. "Klaus, what's going on? Where are we going?" My eyes were suddenly being blanketed by his hands as he has unlatched himself from my arms and was encased round my back.___

_"Shh, Love, it's a surprise." He brought one of his hands to stroke my trembling skin over my shoulder slowly in small circles. Encasing a strand of my hair in his hand, he gently tucked it behind my ear. "Take a chance Caroline…" he leaned into my neck, his warm breath swirling and caressing my cheek.___

_Lowering one hand, his arm wrapped around my waist while the other was gently encased across my eyes. I wasn't even in control anymore, my body was in overdrive after its interruption earlier in the kitchen.___

_It had been starved from affection for so long and it wanted to just give in, to feel this, to take a crazy chance. Without even being aware of it I had stopped and was leaning my head back inwards laying my head back on his shoulder._

**Desire was raging through my body so hard that I was forced to bite down on my lip not even caring that the fangs had pierced the skin.******

**I was burning…burning all over. Caroline had knocked the breath out of me, every part of me was consumed, in this moment the feeling of her cradled in my arms, the smell of her hair, the metallic tang of her blood in the air…she was bleeding, but where?******

**Had I bitten her, been so lost in this bliss, I hadn't even noticed? Turning her round to search for the wound, I was greeted with her blood stained lips. Not being able to help myself I swept my hand across her lips, loving the way her mouth leaned in to my fingers coating them with her blood.******

**I couldn't resist anymore, couldn't fight it anymore…I was going to finish what we started in the kitchen. I was so tired, I needed this and from the way she had been curling to my side just then, so did she. Hell, the surprise could wait, dinner could wait, the only thing I was hungry was for this to happen.******

**Then it hit me like a steel ton truck. She was someone else's right now, she was just playing me. Like the fool I always am with her, I had been blindsided too many times.******

**"Not again." I protested bitterly as I pushed her gently away from me to give me space.******

**"Not again? I don't understand Klaus…Tell me what did I do?"****  
****her eyes were searching my face, trying to find the root of my anger.******

**"I'm tired of being used. It's not my fault you always settle for second best. Your heart knows this but still you are settling for someone right now but I won't be another pawn in your love life. Not again." I spat out the words with much more spite than I had meant too but my hurt was once again taking me over.******

**It was always so much easier to give in to the rage, the darkness, the spite. Once dinner was over, my promise kept at filling her in on the situation, that was it.******

**Nothing would change. The longer she had the memories of me, the more she would be able to dangle them in front of my damaged heart; baiting me to trust and give in to her.**

_It had to end now, this lie I had started was tumbling us both into more heartache. He was giving up his caring side withdrawing inside himself…it was now or never if we were going to have a chance  
_

_"Klaus…It's not as…It seems I never had…" My sentence was cut off by another one of his family._

"There you guys are. We have been waiting for over 15 minutes, we are starving. I'm just going to freshen up. Caroline, let's give the men a few moments to relax with some bourbon." 

_Rebekah was dragging me along the path in a frenzied rush, pulling me further away from Klaus. Timing again seemed to not be on our side. I turned around to try and seek his face in the darkness but he had already left without even casting a shadow across our paths…_

_Song Serial Killer by Lana Del Ray ._

_**Guy this chapter was so hard for me ,did you like where you shocked with Kol Return? As always I cannot wait to hear your views and also I cannot wait to write the dinner scene all I say is this bread knives as daggers and spectacles on the stairs . As always more Klaroline drama to come but let's be honest we all feed of it . Love you all.**_


	9. Family Ties

_Klaus song for chapter Lover Eyes/Broken Crown by Mumford and Sons._

_Caroline song by Awake My Soul Mumford and Sons_

_I was in for it now; I was being marched into the bathroom. Rebekah had always been fantastic at scaring the living crap out of you with her confrontations. I'd never forget that night when she locked us all in the school library, torturing Stefan and Elena with their feelings and making them confront the truth on Damon.___

_Now I feared she was about to try and dig around in my head till she scraped out all my longings and feelings for Klaus. Trying to catch my breath to prepare myself for the interrogation that was coming my way, I wrapped my arms around my waist to try and offer myself some comfort. With a sad thought at this action it was only moments ago that Klaus had been doing the same holding me to him.___

_As Rebekah forcefully strung the door open I was expecting a backlash of abuse hurled my way and boy I wasn't wrong.___

_Struggling where to start for a few seconds she broke the awkward silence with_

**"I don't know if you're playing another one of your twisted games or you're in on another scheme to kill Nik but I won't let you hurt him ever again."**

_she growled at me. Though her suspicions of my motives were justified from my past involvements with my friends to kill Klaus and her family, I was sick of it always being shoved back in my face.___

_It was always the same, it never mattered how much I always tried to change and show people I wasn't the same girl they knew back in high school. Feeling the rage slowly course its way through my already taught veins I felt myself snapping, my temper beginning to take over the calm mannered argument I had planned on defending myself with.___

_The words were pouring out of me; I had never been one to hold back with Rebekah and now wasn't any different .This time I had to make her see that this wasn't some game to me, that I wasn't manipulating Klaus' emotions to hurt him.___

_"I know we have the worst track record when it comes to attacks on your family but you guys put us in danger just as much. Need I remind you of the time you held Elena hostage in the cave or the night where you and Klaus played a sick countdown game in the gym?" I needed to say my piece; I had had enough interruptions today and in life. For once I wouldn't finish till I had shown her exactly where I stood. _

_Interrupting Rebekah's chance at a comeback, I kept on, "There has been enough death, enough heartbreak on both sides. I'm tired of losing everyone I hold dear to me!" now bellowing at her.___

_"For three years I have stayed here in this broken town slowly watching everyone I love leave me to try and heal from their past. My past, my actions I can never change however much I might of wished to they are what makes me, they are my burden to always ground my future actions."__  
_

_Still struggling for breaths from the swiftness of my sentences my thoughts kept on forcing their way into the room. All my past fears and regrets were fighting to be heard. I had kept them buried so long, I was their only lone companion in the lonely nights.___

_"Now I have something I'd never thought I'd get another chance to make up for; the pain I brought upon your brother by manipulating his feelings for me. This is something I prayed for every night. Here and now I can control what happens, for this fleeting moment in my life. There were so many feelings towards Klaus I never admitted to myself until he was gone and now he is back and I still have no idea how to make him see…make him see that I felt some connection to what we shared. That it changed me. For the first time in my life, I have no idea where to start, I have no idea how to plan this and do it in the right way. Every time I try to show him, I make it worse by throwing more hurt into the mix, saying stupid things to mask my pain at him leaving me." My emotional shouts had now turned into little more than broken and pained sighs with this last line.___

_Why did I just tell Rebekah all my feelings, my dazed mind thought. Clearly, if this didn't prove to her that I could be trusted this time round, nothing ever would. I truly had poured out my whole soul; my fears, my hopes, my longings, my desires there was nothing left of me to show.___

_Rebekah now had all my words to throw back in my face and torture me with if she so wished. Staring up to face her I tried my best to read her expressions and views on my confession. She seemed just as traumatized as me with my backlash against her accusations. Rebekah had never been one to keep her opinions to herself but it took a good minute before she came back with a response.__  
_

**"After all this time away from each other and you still fall in the same old mistakes. You both are going to be the death of each other." **

_Clasping her hands to her head in frustration at the situation and feelings she was trying to express.___

_It hurt to hear her say this, I didn't want whatever this connection between Klaus and me to be seen as something that would only lead to the death of our hearts. Three years had shown me that living without him was the real destroyer of my happiness. How he had crept his way into my being, I still had no idea. But all that mattered now was trying to show him that even through all that heartache we shared, the fights, they were leading us somewhere. The destination was still unclear but I wanted nothing more than to travel down this road with him and just try.___

_Clearly, I had gotten lost in my train of thought again as Rebekah was staring at me in amusement, waiting for me to rejoin the living or the undead in the room, however you preferred to classify it.__  
__Smiling my sorry at her she continued with her views on her brother and mine's life drama. It was so Rebekah, she couldn't help protect all her family to death and try to help them sort out all their personal problems._

__  
**"For the last three years, I have watched my brother suffer in silence as he tried to put back up the battered barriers of his heart. To convince himself that you were just an infatuation, a weakness, a punishment inflicted on him for all of the horrors he committed in the past. It almost killed me too, for the first time in my life, my being with him didn't help subside the pain or rage he felt. The only thing he did that brought him any comfort in this time was getting Kol back, however much they always fought, he sacrificed more than anyone to make our family whole. You're asking me to trust you, to give you another chance when the only outcome I can see is more pain for the both of you. Are you really prepared to give everything you have to try and make Nik see that you want him the way he is even the broken parts?"**

_Rebekah was hitting me with that ultimatum, testing the resolve of my claimed feelings for her brother. Was I ready for this, for the battle my mind might be raked with doubt but my heart was already all in preparing to surrender everything I had for this test of wills between me and Klaus. My face was reflecting my answer crystal clear to Rebekah as she didn't even have to hear my answer to know that it was a yes.__  
_  
_Rebekah's response this time was delivered in an instant,_

"**Then I will try to give you a chance and I will do my best to stand back and let you and Nick deal with your past without sticking my nose in, well not too much, I've never been one to stand completely back." trying to force an awkward but reassuring grin on her face.****  
****"Well I think we all freshened up, now it's time to join the men again but I must say Klaus has no idea what he got himself into inviting you here tonight."****  
**

With that cryptic sentence, I sent an annoyed, what have I done now, stare her way clearly telling her to explain herself.

**"You never used to be this sensitive. I only meant that you are wearing the dress Nik bought you all those years ago, the dress you were wearing when I witnessed Nik falling in love with you on the spot. Oh come on, you really didn't think I'd notice, I've known my brother for a thousand years even he cannot fool me. He has never felt worthy of love in all those years but never have I seen him wish harder that he was in that moment."**

_Rebekah stepping to the side to let me pass in the hallway meeting me with her slightly tears stained eyes at that admission.___

_Walking side by side in silence, we were carried down the hall with the fears and worries we had of what was coming down the road and who would be the next victim to this game Klaus and I played._

Meanwhile in the Manor Room

**I clenched the whiskey further in my palm in my desperation to calm my raging body. My hands were still shaking and fisted even though I had been sitting here for ten minutes with my brothers and Kol's wife, Charlotte. What was Caroline going to say in the garden, what words had she dreamt up to hurt me further? Would I ever get a chance to hear them or had Rebekah saved me from more heartache just like Elijah had this afternoon.****  
****My bitterness and rage session was rudely interrupted as always by Kol's bloody sarcasm.****  
**  
**"All that pouting isn't good for you brother, you will get more wrinkles. Or maybe you are just getting older." **He uttered, smiling like a jackal in my direction.

**Jumping out of my chair ready to tell him exactly where he could shove his bloody views, Charlotte wrapped an arm protectively around his shoulders protecting him from my oncoming onslaught.******

**Still he was daring me to continue, winking at me while he clutched Charlotte to his side almost telling me look what I have someone who loves me for the twisted man I am.******

**If Kol was able to find love, to have someone who loved him with a burning passion who would die to protect him and him for her, why was fate so cruel to never give me this chance? Kol had killed just as many people as me, he was even more blood thirsty than me at times but even he had someone to stand by his side.******

**Now the jealously was coming into play with my anger and frustration it really was a bloody cocktail now and Kol was about to be on the receiving end of the sharpness of my tongue.****  
****It was in this very room that Kol had once tested me and told me maybe we should take it outside. Well never let it be said, I like to disappoint my brother.****  
**

**Elijah, somehow always sensing when my limits were well and truly breaking, got up to stand between both of us acting, as a barrier.****  
** He voice calmly came in to play

"Let's not ruin a lovely evening, it's the first meal we have had together in too long with a guest. Let's prove we can have one meal without causing a scene or baiting each other, for old time's sake. Plus there is a lady in the room and I'm sure Kol you wouldn't want to cause Charlotte any more distress would you."

**It was clear that Elijah had managed to guilt trip Kol into silence, using Charlotte as a ploy. Clearly my brother had the same weakness as me; there was nothing we wouldn't do for the women we loved. Perhaps as love and desire was something we had always used and manipulated, but once we both experienced it we knew there was nothing we wouldn't do to keep holding it in our clutches.******

**Feeling the boiling rage subside slowly, I mustered my nerves and began to bring them under control. I knew exactly why I was in such a mood.******

**However much I wanted to blame Kol for my bad mood it was always Caroline who made me this way. I couldn't keep doing this to myself, letting her tear me down time and time again. I had convinced myself I was stronger than this for the last 3 years and already I was becoming unstable and out of control again. It was one meal, one conversation, one night then it would be over.******

**It's the only way, I convinced myself injuring the crushing pain I felt in my darkened heart. The sound of two pairs of footsteps wondering towards us could be heard; it seemed as if they were finding their way back to us.****  
**  
**Kol, once again, not being able to resist owning every room with his views and thoughts greeted us all with**

**"I believe the ladies have finished tarting themselves up, I think that's what the kids are calling it nowadays and now the fun can really begin hey brothers."****  
**  
**Before he had a chance to say anymore, Rebekah and Caroline entered the room bringing their awkward atmosphere into this room.******

**It was clear to me that Caroline was troubled, my sister had probably been protecting me, watching out for me, but she never was one for tact.******

**Part of me wanted to go and embrace Caroline in a gentle hug till she had calmed but another part of me felt good that she was conflicted having to deal with the backlash of her games.****  
**  
**Kol somehow had managed to sneak up on me, completely unaware and was now patting me on my back like some dog. "What is it Brother that you want?" trying my best to not turn round and snarl those words at him in front of Caroline.****  
**  
**"Nik where are your manners? Mum would be ashamed, Caroline has been standing in the room and you have just been staring at her like a piece of meat for the last minute not saying a word. I know you're occupied with your brooding thoughts, so allow me to do the honours and introductions for you." **

**Patting my back one last time more forcefully than was necessary as he whispered those words to me so no one could hear our conversation.**

_He has been watching me for the last minute out of the corner of his eye. As always, he was burning me with the intensity of his gaze and thoughts making me shiver and burn at the same time as goose bumps broke out on my arms. Rebekah was still awkwardly standing by my side trying to add some comfort to my situation and I guess showing in her own way she was here if I needed her help.___

_Kol freed us both from our torturous stares by playfully swatting Klaus on the back and interrupting him with some secret conversation. Klaus did not look happy but he seemed to be holding his tongue.___

_Before I had a chance to analyze their exchange any further, Kol was walking towards me with one of the most beautiful women I had ever seen. She reminded me of Marilyn Monroe, painfully beautiful but clearly saddened by the trails of life. He was cradling her hand in his laying it over his heart, what a shocker who knew he had this soft side to him I thought in surprise. Could love really change a person that much? I thought what Nik would be like, he could be this.___

_Kol was grinning like a little schoolboy now; clearly he knew exactly what I was thinking._

_Extending his hand out to shake mine again he said,_

**"Allow me to introduce my perfection of a wife on the inside and yes on the outside too." His wife began giggling slightly in embarrassment at his spirited description of her. "She just couldn't say no to this handsome face, took her some time to realize it though, but she had me the minute I woke up from death. I thought she was my darling angel come to free me from Hell."**

_His wife seeing I was lost to the story of how they met, gently placed her hand to shake mine and greeted me.__  
_

_"There will be time for that during dinner it's a rather long complicated story. I'm Charlotte, it's a pleasure to meet you. I'd ask for your name but it's already clear to me who you are. You must be Caroline, I've heard a lot about you." awkwardly catching Klaus' gaze as she said it quickly turning back to me to escape his stare._

_Patting my hand in comfort, seeing my distress at Klaus she continued.__  
_

_"Try not to worry too much, men are stubborn pig headed fools but they always find their way back to us." She said winking slightly in my direction. Kol had truly met his match in this one, she was caring, beautiful but she had a sharp tongue_.

_But from the amused expression on his face he truly didn't give a crap, he couldn't be more happy. It was a bit sickening to be honest, catching Rebekah's eyes, we both smirked thinking the same thing.___

_Elijah introduced himself to our side, now leaving Klaus on his own to stare longingly and thoughtfully into the fiery flames._

"I hope you guys are all enjoying yourself and Caroline, it's a pleasure to meet you as always." He spoke gently, bowing down to kiss me on the hand. "I hope Kol is not boring you too much, he can get a bit carried away but thank god for Charlotte, she is the real blessing to our family she calms him down…well a little bit." He broke out laughing, seeing Kol's attempt to do a hurt puppy dog face.

Kol's response to this was "Brother I was only speaking the truth and letting the room know how I get to be beside the most beautiful women in the room, no offense to you spectacular ladies." sticking out his tongue at me and Rebekah.

_"Oh there is one more beautiful." We all turned around in shock at the words Klaus had just choked out._

Shit I had spoken my thoughts. I had just meant to think it but now, like the idiot I was, I had made a fool of myself once again with Caroline and my family. Their conversation had been playing in my ears providing relief from the prison of my own thoughts. I wished for nothing more than to just be able to go over and enjoy the lightness and warm conversation but I could see Caroline was truly enjoying herself and I didn't want to spoil her night any further with my mood.

Shockingly, even Rebekah and her had seemed to come to some sort of friendly truce. Caroline never failed to shock me with the power she had over people.

Caroline and my family's faces were still all a picture, even Kol couldn't think of something to break the awkwardness of what I had just admitted and confessed to the room.

Praying for anything, any distraction to save me from this torture of letting my mouth get the better of me again, Rebekah once again saved me twice in one evening…Perhaps I should be a bit nicer to her from now on, I thought.

_"Brother you shouldn't have. What a lovely compliment, I'll have to get you a more expensive painting for your birthday now. Well, would you look at the time…it will soon be time for breakfast if we don't begin dinner now." Turning to slide the doors to the side she began to move my gob-smacked family to the dining room.__  
_  
**Caroline was the last one to be swept away from the room but not before her face found mine one last time. Her eyes were searching for my emotions, to see if I meant what I said. She was no fool, she knew the words were meant for her. Nodding my answer, once I brought my eyes back to her, loving the way a sigh of hope had escaped her fragile chest at my confirmation.******

**Now it was my turn to hold up my end of the bargain and fill her in on everything that transpired since we parted. Who knew where the night would take us, but this was one journey I had to see through to the bitter end.**

**As always thanks to my lovely Betas Marianne and Samantha you know how much I love you for all the hours you help me. So guys as always did you like post comments .I had such a blast writing this chapter especially Kol I was laughing like a mad person in the library writing him .I cannot wait to do the next chapter been a little distracted and also starting another ff soon .:-) Much love always and forever.**


End file.
