Naruto 1. Prologue

Chapter briefing: Naruto is going on one last mission to find and bring Sasuke back. There are some questions left unanswered and things left unsaid, and he'd be damned if he's going to let it stay that way.

Disclaimer: meh. It's only the first chapter of my first fic and already I feel kinda insulted that I have to keep rubbing the fact that I don't own Naruto in my own face. But whatever, with these few sentences, I am sending those sue-happy people elsewhere.

Warnings: Rated 'T', just to stay on the safe side. This is Yaoi, and although you can probably tell what the main pairing will be (I mean, duh!) I'm going to say right now that I'm only a fluff writer, so those few who actually look for smut should probably go elsewhere. I also want to say that as this fic progresses, there will be more pairings (some will be straight, though, and that's all I'm saying about them) and, well… more of a plot than this. But since this is only the beginning, you probably can't tell… The last thing I want to warn you of is that, if I feel the urge to continue this fic, I'll be a slow updater, guaranteed. Just so you're all aware.

**This is only the prologue, the real story will come next chapter!!!**

Now I'm going to stop typing like a maniac and say: "on with the Fan Fiction!"

**Chapter 1: Reflections**

It had been four years ago that Naruto had last saw him. He was 16 now, and he'd had more than enough time for the amount of pain he'd felt in their last confrontation to fade away into a dull throb. It _should_ be nothing more than a dull throb, if that; he _shouldn't_ still feel as if there were kunais slowly gutting him from the inside out whenever he thought about him. His letting Sasuke go had been one of the many mistakes he had made over his life, he was well aware of that. He knew that he was supposed to learn from his mistakes and move on. He'd done it multiple times before, and he'd tried so many times to do the same for this, but he found himself completely and utterly incapable. What was it about now that made it so different?

_What's so special about now that makes me feel as if I still can't let him go, even after all this time and all that had happened between us? Even when he's made it clear that he doesn't care about me or anyone else? Honestly, I shouldn't _still_ be harping on him like this; it's over. It's been over for a long time, what can't I _see_ about that?_

Letting Sasuke go was, without a doubt, the all-time _biggest_ mistake of his life; he had decided that a long time ago. He should have fought harder, moved faster, put more power into his strikes, tried harder to talk him out of it. If he had only put more of what he had into stopping him, he would have been able to stay conscious those last, precious seconds and been able to subdue him enough to bring him back!

…Who was he kidding? He'd given it everything he had. Hell, he'd practically _died_ trying! …And yet the bastard had still been irrevocably bent on running to that manipulative snake-pedophile for assistance. He'd abandoned his friends and the people Naruto _knew_ he still cared about for god-damned power! It was something that he himself wouldn't have ever _dreamed_ of doing just for the power needed to kill his own flesh and blood –if he had one, that is.

Of course, that was when he ignored the fact that Sasuke was extremely mentally unstable and went into uncontrollable homicidal psycho-mode when ever he even heard Itachi's name. It was times like these that always made Naruto wonder what Itachi could have possibly done to make his friend this way, and what had happened to finally disrupt the delicate balance that was Sasuke's sane mind, causing him to be that way almost all of the time, instead of only occasionally.

Sasuke had said that what he chose to do with himself was of no concern of anyone's but himself, that they gained nothing in caring about him. At first, Naruto had been shocked that he would even _consider_ thinking that way about his sensei and teammates. Did he honestly not feel that companionship between them? He couldn't seriously be immune to that warm, comforting feeling of acceptance that could only be established between people who had known each other, fought beside (and with) each other, healed each other, received injuries with (and from) each other, and had fun with each other over the years?

Naruto knew how alike he and Sasuke were in terms of loneliness and lack of acceptance, that feeling of having no one to come to when your world came crashing down on you; and he had grown to cherish those precious moments and that feeling of kinmanship and acceptance within his team. He now understood how lucky he was to have that, seeing as he'd seen too many people without it, who were as lonely as he used to be. How could someone who was that lonely not eventually come to feel those emotions and make that connection when finally given the chance to?

Now, Naruto had to wonder if Sasuke had directed those cold, separating words more to himself than him. Thinking back over the years, he finally realized that Sasuke only tried to make people see him as a cold, unfeeling bastard for his own emotional protection; but unbeknownst to the teme, he'd witnessed several occasions that Sasuke felt the exact same things he did about the team, too. Truth be told, Naruto suspected that he felt those emotions even more strongly than he did himself.

And yet, he still pushed them all away for power…

That was probably what perplexed Naruto the most about his mentally unstable friend. If he hadn't read Sasuke incorrectly (and yes, there was a small chance that he had) then for Kami's sake, why the hell did he throw it all away? He wasn't so stupid as to classify those emotions as insignificant, was he? Or worse still, was he stupid enough to be completely oblivious to it all?

It was thoughts and times like these that made Naruto wonder what kind of difference he would have made, if he'd only said what he'd been _really_ feeling at the time, when Sasuke had told him that he considered him to be his best friend and most important person. When Sasuke had told him that because he was the person he cherished the most, there was use in killing him, in that seemingly uncaring way of his. Of course, those feelings weren't as clear back then as they were now, but there was still no mistaking them.

Naruto wondered if those feelings and the guilt he harbored for not telling Sasuke about them when he had the chance (and possibly changing the outcome of the entire mission) were what was stopping him from letting the teme go and finally moving on. He supposed that he hadn't said anything was because he'd been stupid enough to think that, even in homicidal psycho-mode, Sasuke would be able to see them in written on his face and in his eyes, as plain as day.

Of course he hadn't. Sasuke had never been a genius at interpreting the emotions others were displaying. When Naruto had finally regained consciousness after their fight, the agony he was suffering, physically, was absolutely nothing in comparison to the pain being reaped upon his heart. He felt as if his heart were glass and had been shattered into millions of tiny pieces bent on digging only their sharpest points into him. He felt as if he had a gaping wound in his side and a neon sign above his head there to proclaim it to the world. With Sasuke's betrayal, a part of him had died, and he had never been the same after that.

They needed to talk, it was inevitable now. He wanted to see him again, he wanted answers, and he wanted to bring the heart-breaking bastard back home –or, at least, finally tell Sasuke how he felt about him. He knew that he couldn't force the maggot to do anything he didn't want to do, but he cared too much not to at least let him know that he cared. It was up to him to decide from there on out.

Who knows? Maybe it would be enough to finally convince him to come back. Naruto wasn't keeping his hopes very high, though.

That was the only reason he had agreed to go on this mission. He was going to going to attempt to bring Sasuke back one more time before he gave up on it, for good.

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Ha! Thought you got rid of me, didn't you? This is just a little reminder that I love reviews and constructive criticism, and without them, I see absolutely no reason in continuing a piece of writing, so _please_ R and R! -''

Oh yeah, and I love getting flames. No, seriously, I do! You just don't want to know what I do with them…


	2. The Mission

Disclaimer: sadly, I've discovered that figuring out different funny (not) ways to say that I don't own _Naruto_ is rather amusing. I know, I need a life, which is why it's on my grocery list.

Warnings: Long authors' notes, **possible OOC-ness (tell me if that's the case people! I like having my characters actually in character, y'know?) **Swearing –also, starting now, this is going to be slightly AU, because there is no Sai and … that guy I can never remember the name of; you know the new sensei guy? Yamato or something? Yeah, you know. Him. Anyways, as I've said before, there's going to be multiple pairings, but be aware that some of them are going to be shounen ai, too, 'kay?

I update as fast as a crippled old lady sprints at a track meet, 'nuff said.

…However, aren't you just SO happy about this super-long chappie here? I mean, it's here people! Yeah, I know, I'm not very happy with it, either…

Notes: I support the Naruto-isn't-as-dumb-as-he-acts group of people, so he's not going to be as dense as other people make him out to be. Also, if everyone seems a little too mature, then it's because of the really serious situation and the fact that it's been 4 years since the time skip started. Don't worry, after all of this mission-drama (probably only one more chapter after this one), there will be a lighter mood to the story!

**Chapter 2: The Mission**

"Naruto!" Sakura called over her shoulder. "You're lagging behind again!"

Her voice jolted Naruto out of his reverie and he picked up the pace of which he was silently leaping from tree branch to tree branch until he was even with her.

"Thanks Sakura-chan …again," he said sheepishly. "I really don't mean to keep spacing out on you like this." He briefly directed a small grin in her direction before letting it fade back into his previous grim expression and turning his attention back to the seemingly endless tangle of trees so that he wouldn't accidentally leap headlong into one. That wasn't something that he felt like doing, now or any other time –but especially now. Who wanted to get caught in the middle of enemy territory because they ran into a _tree_? It would only make it more humiliating when they realized he was a ninja of Konoha and should be more at home in trees than anywhere else…

As they landed on a rather short branch and leaped onto another one almost instantly afterwards, Sakura briefly shot him a look that was concerned and faintly uneasy. "You know you can always talk to me about it," she said meekly, and despite her tone, Naruto could tell that she actually meant it.

Her hair was being whipped out behind her, but Naruto knew she couldn't care less about that now, whereas her younger self would have been thoroughly troubled. Even after having become reacquainted with her for about year now, he still managed to find it amazing how much she had matured in the time that they'd been apart. (He wasn't even sure that the only reason he was noticing it more every day now was simply because that was the rate at which she was growing; it made him wonder if that was what people were noticing in him.) Sakura was no longer the shrill, annoying, unfocused, selfish, and unskilled pre-teen girl that she had once been, and really deserving of her status as chuunin (in Naruto's opinion, at any rate).

However, as much as she had become more agreeable and accepting of him as a friend and equal, it didn't necessarily make her less violent. In fact, Naruto was almost certain that she just did it now because she figured it was the best way for her to show affection. Strangest thing was that he found himself agreeing with her, even though it probably should have been the opposite… It was odd how things like that turned out. To be frank, he rather pitied the poor soul that she would no-doubt eventually get into a relationship with; he could only see her actions in that regard becoming more pronounced the deeper she went… Yeah. He really pitied that person…

Aside from her personality changing, even he could admit that Sakura had actually grown to be a very attractive young woman. It was proved when he noticed that some of their peers had openly acknowledged that, as well (however, Naruto was an exception in that particular category.) He really wasn't interested in her like that anymore –and he didn't think that he would will it no other way.

Since he had come back from training with Ero-sennin, Naruto's relationship with Sakura had taken on a new strength until it was almost as if they were siblings instead of simply friends or closer-than-average, long-time acquaintances. They had become so close that occasionally, words weren't even needed in order to communicate with each other. Unfortunately, this was not one such time.

"Yeah, I know," said Naruto. "But it's fine. It'll be all over after this mission, anyway."

Sakura had made the offer to listen to his problems more than once, but he'd always declined because… Well, he wasn't entirely sure why he'd always decline the offer; all he knew was that he did. Naruto was vaguely aware that talking about these 'problems' with Sakura would probably end up becoming one of those weird therapy things that Rokuro had mentioned once or twice. But then again, Rokuro had his own problems; the man was just plain creepy…

"**Of course, coming from you, that made a hellavuh lot of sense**," drawled Kyuubi sarcastically.

"_And whose fault do you think that is?"_ Naruto retorted. Thanks to his training with Jiraiya, not only was tapping into the Kyuubi's chakra easy, relatively safe, and practically second nature to him (however, he had also expanded his own chakra capacity during his training with the legendary pervert, so he hardly ever needed Kyuubi's help in that category anymore). At any rate, Jiraiya had also been able to assist him in communicating with the old fluff ball. True, he and Kyuubi had not been able to get along at first, but now they had established a relationship that, though not one of the best examples when it came to what they said to each other specifically, was still strong and fond, bickering and bantering included.

He began to say something else to Kyuubi, but Sakura interrupted him. "Okay," she said. "It's just kinda unnerving to see you so quiet…"

"Well, it's not every day that we go traveling to the lair of a creepy snake-pedophile with little hope of telling our grandchildren about it later, you know –and might I add that you're not acting much like yourself, either…?" he said, trying to make himself sound less affected by this mission than he really was. He always found it rather ironic that whenever he seemed to really need it, he couldn't put up his façade correctly. Not that he used it as heavily as he used to, but that wasn't the point.

"That's true," she admitted. "I wasn't thinking about that." Suddenly she gave him a crooked grin. "But you mentioned grandchildren," she said. "I want to know where the kids are coming from."

By that time, they had caught up with the rest of their group, which consisted of Tsunade and Jiraiya, so Naruto had to let his reply go unspoken. To help minimize the possibility of being caught by random patrolling sound nins, they had split up into three groups, the other two being lead by Shikamaru and Kakashi, respectfully. It had been decided that they would attack first and clear out Orochimaru's henchmen –and whoever else decided that they wanted to get in their way.

This mission wasn't simply to bring back the youngest Uchiha –though it would be quite a nice bonus if they did. No, this mission was one that they had all known would eventually be assigned, just… not this far down the road.

They had spent most of the last year gathering information on the layout and location of the lair as well as studying how to quickly defeat sound nins. During that time, they had been able to thwart some of Orochimaru's plans in such a way that he was forced to push back the body-transfer date to sometime during the next couple of days instead of a year ago. Now, all that was to their mission was to stop Orochimaru from performing the body transfer and finally managing to obtain the Sharingan. They were to do this at all costs, even if it meant killing the youngest living Uchiha in the process.

Apparently, Sakura and Naruto had been more behind than they had thought that they were, because Tsunade and Jiraiya were both standing on tree branches waiting for them.

"Err… W—" Naruto began, but Tsunade cut him off.

"I just got word from Shikamaru and Kakashi: they're in position and ready to begin the assault. I told them that we were, too –so you better get ready for the signal," she informed them, her eyes hard and expression deathly determined. She was so out of it that she had even neglected to affectionately refer to Naruto as 'brat', or one of her …less kind nicknames.

Considering the circumstances (potential incredibly lethal threats to the village, her medical knowledge, and the like) Tsunade had been able to get a few of her assistants (including Shizune) to temporarily take over her position to that she could take active part in the mission with little fuss. She claimed that she had neither the faith nor the heartlessness to give the position of fighting Orochimaru to anyone other than herself and Jiraiya. She seemed to truthfully believe any other opponent to be easy prey for him –and after seeing him fight over four years ago and knowing that he had gotten stronger since then, Naruto tended to agree with her. That didn't mean that he had to like it, though.

Sure, he knew that in an all-out fight that he would probably never stand a chance against Orochimaru, and he certainly didn't envy the two Sannin the job of having to fight him, albeit he had to admit that in his younger years he probably would have, which almost made him want to smack his forehead at his own antics, but aside from that, that wasn't his reasons for not liking it at all.

No, he didn't like the feeling of knowing that he had no choice in having to fight and possibly kill someone he used to know and… well, cherished. He didn't like that feeling at all, but there was absolutely nothing he could do about it now. He had been assigned to the mission, and that was that; he had to do his part or die trying –after all, what good was he if he didn't even attempt to complete a mission? Naruto still aspired to become Rokudaime one day, after all. He couldn't afford to let what he was feeling weaken him like that. What if it was a life or death situation that concerned the lives of innocents and he was faced with something he didn't want to do, would he just blow that off, too?

Needless to say, he flat-out _refused_ to let that happen. He still needed to gain the acceptance of more than just his fellow ninja if he was to become Hokage one day, so he needed to prove to the general populous that he could set his emotions aside and do what he had to, if only for the time being. If that meant fighting and possibly killing Sasuke, then he would do it, because that was his job. It wasn't like Sasuke saw them as more than enemies now –he'd even taken the time to demonstrate his point, so it wasn't like he'd be making some huge mistake that he'd be regretting later on, anyway.

Despite his self-assurances, Naruto found himself praying to whatever God was listening that it wouldn't have to come to that.

The group was moving forward again, and he used it as an excuse to viciously cut off his train of thought and concentrate solely on moving forward and how he would perform his part in this mission.

The beginnings of the 'signal' came shortly afterwards in the form of the many sounds of battle. Only about an half hour later was it 'officially' set off when those sounds faded into silence as Kakashi and Shikamaru's groups infiltrated deeper into the underground confines of Orochimaru's lair, allowing their teammates to conserve the energy they would undoubtedly need when they challenged their own adversaries.

To make searching easier, the four split up into even smaller groups, Tsunade with Jiraiya, and Sakura with Naruto. With a nod, they went their separate ways, small voices in the backs of their minds voicing their hope of meeting once more, and with good news.

Upon entering the mostly-underground lair, Naruto quickly noticed the engravings one walls took on a quality that distinctly resembled that of basket weave. Evenly-spaced brackets sported red-orange torches that guttered and nearly went out as he and Sakura whizzed past them; shrinking, growing, and continuing to outline their shadows and the wreckage that the other teams had left behind. Naruto came to a random door and yanked it open, his heart seeming to be more than willing to hammer its way out of his chest as he half-hoped, half-dreaded what he would see in the room beyond.

Darkness. Then, as his eyes adjusted, he glimpsed a couple of winged chairs pushed back none-too-neatly from the small round table they were supposed to be positioned around. A dusty, cobweb-adorned chandelier of no particular beauty hung above the arrangement; there were no windows that he could see.

Feeling as if his mind was in some sort of haze, Naruto muttered a small curse under his breath and quickly shut the door and ran down the hallway after Sakura's oddly muffled footsteps. Said footsteps stopped abruptly as she yanked open a random door of her own and paused to take in what she was seeing. He didn't stop to wait for her however, seeing as he knew that she would follow him once she was sure that she hadn't missed anything and that she would call if she found anything. He felt his heart constrict almost painfully with both relief and anxiety when she too uttered a softly-spoken profanity, closed the door, and sprinted after him as he took a left when the hallway forked.

They worked like this for what felt like lifetimes: running, stopping, yanking open doors, uttering harsh curses between breathy panting when they saw nothing, slamming the door shut again while making as little noise as possible, and continuing their almost frenzied, soundless sprinting away from the area to lessen their chances at getting caught. Occasionally, they would see the remnants of the sound nins that their comrades had disposed of or the remnants of those same comrades; all of the corpses they saw were bloodied and mangled almost beyond recognition, and it wasn't exactly the most pacifying thought. But they didn't stop, only continued to push onwards. They were too deep into enemy territory and their minds were too focused on the possibility of getting caught and outnumbered to stay in any one place for more than a couple of seconds. After all, any decent ninja knew that if there was even a possibility of being sensed, then there was also the possibility that you may or may not be able to survive when faced against whatever your enemies pit against you. So, the key was not to get sensed and increase your own chances of survival.

As a result of that shred of common sense, and despite the fact that they both knew the extent of their own rather impressive amounts of power, Naruto and Sakura were neither stupid nor incredibly cocky about it –while on missions, at any rate. They were both aware that they weren't invincible, and they both had their own aspects of this mission to complete and reckless, unreasoned gambling with Death would not help them to do that this time.

"**Playing it smart for once?"** quipped Kyuubi, and Naruto got the distinct feeling that he was smirking condescendingly. "**Well I'll be damned; there is a first time for everything…" **

"_Oh, shut up! I'm not that careless!"_ thought Naruto indignantly.

"**No, you're not,"** he said. **"You're worse."**

Naruto took a breath and forced himself to bite back his reply to that. '_It won't do me any good to start arguing with a head-strong demon in the middle of Orochimaru's lair,'_ he repeated to himself. '_It won't do me any goo—'_

"**Yeah," **said Kyuubi.** "You keep telling yourself that."**

Eventually, Sakura and Naruto came to a fork in a hallway and intentionally went in opposite directions. It was a detail that they had secretly added in since the general layout of this mission was laid out. In their minds, it would make them less noticeable and able to cover even more ground than before. In the event that they did get caught and besotted with more opponents than they could handle, then they were both wearing skin-tight wrist-bands that, if filled with chakra, would alert one's partner that one was in need of assistance.

So Naruto continued his search-and-run pattern without his teammate until the ground took a brief moment to violently tremble beneath his feet, stopping him in mid-sprint. From where he was, he could have sworn that he heard the sound of a random tunnel's ceiling straining and finally collapsing –under the influence of some type of explosive, more than likely. Not even a second after coming to that conclusion, Naruto heard a faint chorus of indecipherable shouting. That and the trembling all seemed to be coming from the same direction.

'_What the hell was that and who specifically did it affect?'_ was that first thought that sprang into his mind._ 'Should Sakura and I meet up again to go and check it out, keep doing what we're doing, or run in the other direction?'_

"**Judging by the sheer force we just felt, you should probably run,"** Kyuubi said helpfully. **"Or you could go towards it and get yourself killed –doesn't matter to me."**

"_Why am I finding that hard to believe?"_ he snapped. _"Oh yeah, maybe it's because if I die, you die too! You forget that little detail or are you just being stupid?"_

Kyuubi either couldn't come up with a good reply to that little remark or simply didn't feel like dignifying it with a response –and judging by the amount of muffled snickering at Kyuubi's end of the conversation, it was probably the latter. Naruto decided that now was as good a time as any to begin ignoring him. (He had long since stopped trying to figure out the way Kyuubi thought or why he seemed to be laughing at him at entirely random times. Who could really unravel a fox demons' thought patterns, anyway? He'd been actively dealing with the damn thing since he was twelve and he still hadn't grasped it, even though he was supposedly possessed a talent for reading people. Go figure.)

Naruto stayed where he was for a few more seconds before remembering himself and where he was and continuing his search of the area for Sasuke or Orochimaru. Damn the consequences for doing so, if he ran into either one of them, they were going down. It was a specifically outlined factor of this mission: those two needed to be separated at any and all costs.

He was only about a half hour into totally fruitless searching when he felt a spike of chakra thrum against his wrist –the sign that Sakura needed help.

Needless to say, there was no second spared after that moment and Naruto was forced to break the system that he had redeveloped in favor of rushing in the direction he sensed Sakura's chakra. Since she had started viscously refusing to be babied and protected by others, if Sakura was actually asking for help, then she was either practically dead or in way over her head. Either way, Naruto was certain that the situation was bad. _Very_ _bad_.

He raced through multiple twists and turns, a broken-down door, the right fork in yet another hallway, another right, a left, and one last twist before he was abruptly interrupted.

It was sudden, and if not for reflexes honed by years of training, then it would've been a confrontation that Naruto wouldn't have survived. The rustle of clothing, soft _whooshes_ of movement-induced wind, a flash of red-orange light reflecting off metal, and a grunt of effort brought him face-to-face with the one person who'd managed to make his life both more bearable and a living hell without even trying.

Their arms were trembling as they strained against each other: kunai to katana, blue to black; complex, tangled web of pent-up emotions to complete and utter apathy. Each watching in his own way to see who would caved first, who would risk snatching his weapon back and attacking at the very real risk of losing his life to the other.

They stayed this way for quite a while, neither giving in either by the way their weapons clashed to the intensity of their locked gazes. They weren't _communicating_, per se, because they didn't have to. They were both aware why the other was in the position he was in and that he wasn't about to back down and give in any time soon. For them, it went without saying.

Growing rather impatient with the monotony of just standing there and waiting to see who would make the next move when it was obvious neither would unless the other initiated the action, Naruto sprang back enough so that he was out of range of Sasuke's weapon, Sasuke instantly mirroring his actions. His mind –and Kyuubi, who had randomly decided to start actually helping instead of harassing him, not that he was complaining… much. Sheesh, it was as if he hadn't fought Sasuke before. He wasn't a _complete_ idiot!– were already working to calculate his next moves.

It was then that he noted that both he and Sasuke were panting slightly, but he noticed that it was more so with Sasuke –and to be frank, he wasn't really surprised. He _had_ been applying a rather large amount of pressure against the katana.

Over the past couple of years (the last one in particular), Naruto had been growing in leaps and bounds –in the height and bulk categories, primarily. He was now slower than ever, but he also possessed more brute strength and endurance than he ever had, so he supposed it was a bit of a win-lose situation. He had to make every move count and every evaluation accurate –or be able to handle the consequences because he had lost the ability to get out of the way in time if he fucked-up.

Naruto just didn't want to be fighting Sasuke right now. He _really_ needed to get to Sakura and help her. Things would've been so much easier if Sasuke had attacked a half-hour from now or something like that –but _no_, the bastard couldn't have convenient timing for once, could he? Ugh! Resigned to the inevitable fight against his former-teammate, Naruto moved in to attack, his actions copied by Sasuke. They met more or less evenly and the harsh sound of clashing metal rang out inside the hallway in a strangely muffled fashion.

Sasuke slashed at his abdomen, and Naruto had a little difficulty moving out of the way enough to parry the blow and not get cut to ribbons. Naruto did a series of thrusts and slices at random vitals, and Sasuke avoided all of them with cat-like grace. Naruto then noted that his Sharingan wasn't activated. Sasuke wasn't even really trying right now.

'_And why should he?'_ asked a small voice from the back of his mind. '_Speed and swordplay are his specialties, after all.' _

Sasuke was the perfect example of a challenging opponent for Naruto. He wasn't big like Naruto was, and he didn't posses brute strength –but he sure as hell possessed the speed and agility to make up for it. It had been one of the main factors that had made them such good rivals all those years back, because even then the traits had been rather apparent.

As he temporarily got himself out of Sasuke's striking range, Naruto frowned in concentration. If he could just get that katana out of Sasuke's grip, then he would have the upper hand. He'd fought like this before, but it simply wasn't his forte, and since he had the ability to make it so things were to his advantage, he wasn't stupid enough to pass up on the opportunity.

They charged and clashed again, exchanging, blocking, and parrying blows, springing back, and diving in again. Naruto trying to send Sasuke's katana flying, Sasuke not giving him any opportunities to. Sasuke trying to either immobilize or cut Naruto to ribbons by using his weight and lack of speed against him, Naruto also not giving him the chance to.

They weren't as aggressive as they could have been, and they weren't using any of their best techniques –wouldn't unless the other one started it– there were no cleverly-laid traps and there was no back-up located on the sidelines, laying in wait for the perfect chance to jump into the fray themselves. No, there was none of that, even though there should have been. They were merely testing each other:

'_How strong has he really gotten?'_

'_He was never able to take the kind of attack before; I wonder if it's any different now…'_

No fancy, power-sapping moves were needed for them to evaluate each other –in fact, it was easier without them. Theirs was a type of curiosity born of rivalry, friendship, and years spent apart.

Periodically, they would feel the earth shiver beneath their feet in varying degrees of intensity. Sometimes, it would occur at exactly the wrong moment (while performing a complex foot maneuver, for example), causing one or both of them to temporarily lose his balance and give the other the perfect opportunity to attack. When this happened, it was treated as a test of the other's reflexes and speed of recovery. '_Will he be able to block this thrust while trying to regain his balance? How long will it take for him to get to his feet again and make a proper offensive comeback?'_

Time wasn't moving the way it should have, going either too fast or too slow but never seeming to pass at its typical pace. In Naruto's mind, it felt like an eternity, when at the same time, it couldn't have been more than a few minutes –while in reality, they had been going at it for about forty-five-minutes. During that time, not a word was spoken, but after feeling another mini-earthquake-like sensation, Naruto finally asked, "feeling tired yet?" His voice was curious, cocky, and mocking; as if he thought that Sasuke really should be feeling worn out by this time.

Naruto himself was in fairly good condition: a few shallow cuts from Sasuke's katana that he hadn't been able to evade in time and the regular hoard of scrapes and bruises that one got from just about any fight. He was slightly out of breath and had already used up a small chunk of his chakra supply, but he could continue fighting like this for a good while yet, and he could do it easily, more or less.

Sasuke didn't reply, didn't even make any indication that he had actually heard him; just attacked Naruto's right leg in a way that made it difficult for him to spring out of the way or block it. He ended up ripping the orange material of his pants and creating a shallow cut on his thigh, drawing blood.

"What? Suddenly decided to go deaf on me?" he said mockingly, jumping out of the way of a slice aimed for his chest and hurtled a kunai at the junction between Sasuke's neck and shoulder. Sasuke leaped out of the way at the last second; receiving what looked to be a painful, but moderately shallow gash on the part of his arm just above his bicep seemingly without noticing it. And if the increased intensity in his attacks were any indication, then Naruto was annoying him.

No, it wasn't much, but it was something and that was more than what he'd gotten this entire time –that is, if he was right. With Sasuke, it was harder to tell than it was with anyone else he associated with. He wanted to see a reaction to his taunting, so he may only be seeing what he wanted to see. It had happened before, and this time didn't have to be any different. So Naruto risked a glance into his eyes to see if he was really getting to him or not.

Naruto had to admit that he wasn't entirely surprised to see nothing but icy indifference –at first, anyway. For some reason, they had both frozen mid-movement the moment their gazes locked and as Naruto stared, he was slowly starting to see what could only be described as an inner battle going on behind that curtain of indifference. What it was about? He didn't know; all he knew was that it was there, and it was steadily becoming easier to see (now whether this was because it was becoming more intense or the more he looked the more he didn't know.)

Naruto didn't know how long they stayed that way, just staring at each other, their bodies as still as if they had been abruptly paralyzed. He didn't know what to think, or if he was thinking at all. His mind seemed to be as frozen as the rest of his body was. Even Kyuubi had shut up. Until…

"Why?"

The question was quiet, only half-audible, and there was so much pent-up emotion behind it that it surprised him. Naruto doubted that he had actually heard it with his ears more than seeing the question in his eyes or hearing it with his mind, like how he 'heard' Kyuubi.

Naruto probably wouldn't have answered at all, if Kyuubi hadn't reminded him to and broken him out of his trance –thing. Fumbling with his suddenly miniscule vocabulary he finally snapped, "why what?"

For a few seconds, all Sasuke did was stare up at him condescendingly. As if Naruto had to be lacking a brain to not know what he was talking about –and reminding Naruto again of how much taller he had gotten. This filled the small part of him not affected by this weird trance or the fact that Sasuke was openly expressing emotion with pride. '_Take that, arrogant jackass!'_

Seeing as Naruto obviously wasn't wizening up to what he was talking about, Sasuke finally took the time to elaborate –in an oddly strained, incredibly angry voice, at that. What was wrong with his voice, anyway? "Why are you here? After everything I've done to you, you shouldn't be here, dumbass …You shouldn't fucking care about me!"

Naruto didn't know what that last statement did to him, specifically, but it sure as hell did something. It may have been the "straw that broke the camel's back" so to speak, and completely used up the last of his endurance on the issue, thus sending him over the edge –or it may have created an entirely different reason to infuriate him. Naruto didn't know; all he was aware of was that he saw red and could no longer be held responsible for his actions. Unknowingly, the blue of his eyes became streaked with red.

Naruto seized the lapel of Sasuke's shirt and used it as a handle with which to lift him up off his feet and slam him against the basket-weave-like wall so hard that it actually created an imprint of his back into it. Snarling in an almost canine fashion, he locked gazes with Sasuke again in a way that wouldn't allow him to break away and spoke in a low, wavering growl saturated in sarcasm, "Of course, Sasuke. I'm only forgoing all of the goals I've spent my entire friggin life working towards to try and bring you back. I go on all of these missions and give years of my life in the vain hope of convincing you to come back home because, y'know, I just have nothing better to do.

"I've always wanted the only person who's ever really begun to understand me spin around and betray me –and then seriously try to kill me. I just thrive on seeing that person throw his entire damn life away and expect me _not to care_ _about it_. I go around begging to have someone precious to me expect me to forget everything we've been through and watch him go and get himself fucking killed without emotion because I just don't place any value whatsoever in what our friendship had."

As he said that last sentence, Naruto's voice broke and his eyes began to sting. Breaking eye contact, he looked down at his sandals and took a few shaky breaths, fighting down the urge to let the tears out and regain his composure. That mostly accomplished, he looked back up and stared fiercely into Sasuke's practically unemotional eyes, then forced himself to continue again.

"I mean, everybody and their _dog_ knows that I just live to dwell on someone who doesn't give a rat's ass about whether I live or die and won't listen to anything I have to fucking say unless I force him to."

Albeit the effect would have been a lot more intimidating if his voice hadn't sounded so pathetically shaky and he wasn't so obviously near hysterics.

Not like that was going to stop him from saying what he had been planning to say since he was notified of this mission. He was going to say what he had come here to say and then he was gonna get the hell away from Sasuke to let him make up his own mind. He had known that it was going to be hard, and since when had a little pain stopped the Great Uzumaki Naruto? Never, that's when. He had never let something as trivial as having his emotions eating him from the inside out get in the way of what he had been ordered or wanted to do, and he wasn't about to start a new pattern now.

"Yeah, Sasuke," he said. "I _hope_ to think about you every fucking time I get a spare minute because there aren't any painful memories there at all. Of course not! What could possibly give you any idea that those memories take me to the pits of hell and back again every damn time I think about them?!

"No, I don't wish that I could just let you go screw your life so I can move on with mine. I don't wish that there was a chance that you cared, 'cause everybody knows I hate you and I want to kill you for power really means I love you."

Naruto let the silence between them drag on for a few more seconds before the red streaks in his eyes thinned and eventually faded out. He let go of Sasuke's shirt and letting him slide down to his feet again before saying softly, "So, y'know what? You're right. You really are. I'm not you, and it shouldn't affect me that you're throwing your life away, because it's not mine. But it does, which is why I'm here to whoop your ass and leave it up to you to crawl back to Konoha on your own –_because_ _I_ _shouldn't_ _care_."

The silence between them after Naruto's speech was almost palpable, and it stretched on for at least five minutes before Sasuke said, "Too bad you're at my mercy." He sheathed his slightly bloody katana with one hand and held up Naruto's kunai pouch with the other. His expression was virtually devoid of emotion as he forced Naruto into an intense, enigmatic gaze. "I can almost hear the comments: what kind of ninja would allow the enemy to kill him with his own weapons? Once an idiot, always an idiot, eh Naruto?"

Before Naruto could blink, Sasuke had already situated himself behind him, a kunai drawn and positioned just above his throat. He pressed the razor-sharp edge down into the unguarded flesh and practically heard the tissue ripping in its wake, puncturing the fragile wind pipe and letting the blood flow in thick, warm rivers. Naruto stayed standing up for a few seconds before his eyes glazed over and he crashed to his knees and fell face-first into his own hot, pooling blood.

Then, with a small '_pop_' and a wispy puff of smoke, the body vanished, leaving only the pool of blood. Wary and slightly uneasy by the sudden turn of events, Sasuke shoved the kunai pouch into the overlapping material of his gi-top and swiftly unsheathed his katana, unconsciously dropping into a defensive stance. Quickly relaxing his slightly tense muscles and schooling his expression, his appearance became completely and utterly calm; seemingly unruffled by the fact that the earth had just shivered under his feet again or that the body of the person he had just killed had randomly disappeared into thin air.

He simply sunk into his stance and waited.

Then, almost faster than the eye could follow, he spun around and began executing a complex series of crisscrossing slashes and slices at a particular place in the air behind him. There was the sound of metal forcefully meeting metal, even though only one of the metal objects could be seen.

This vehement, half-visible exchange went on for a while, growing more and more intense as the seconds passed. After some time, a very much alive Naruto began fading in and out of visibility until he finally snapped solidly into focus, seeing as he was too intent on not losing any limbs or his life to keep up the henge. This was an understandably difficult task, seeing as he was armed with only one kunai and couldn't maneuver quickly.

However, Naruto managed to use his brute strength to his advantage by trapping Sasuke's hand holding the katana at a way that hands weren't supposed to bend; this caused the katana itself to clatter uselessly to the ground. He was sweating and panting and hurt and angry as all hell at that _fucking_ _bastard_ for taking everything he'd said and simply brushing it off as if it had been nothing –it was not nothing, damnit! It took a lot of courage to say crap like that and he had _meant_ it –he was not going to be fucking _ignored_ about it!

Scowling, Naruto leaned in closer, mercilessly applying more pressure on Sasuke's wrist and snarling disgustedly, "So that's what you would've done if I'd really let my guard down –killed me!? Just like that?"

Sasuke didn't reply. He didn't have to.

Naruto was practically howling in anger, hurt, and frustration. "I can't believe I—"

The rest of his sentence was lost in a deafening rumble and his hold on Sasuke's wrist was broken by the worst earthquake that he had felt yet. The shaking was so intense that dust and dirt from the ceiling got shaken off and started raining down on the pair, albeit they were too distracted to notice it. Even though Naruto had been standing perfect still when it happened, the earthquake had thrown him off balance, sending him stumbling away from Sasuke in an effort not to fall on his ass and become too vulnerable.

The shaking and rumbling went on for a few more seconds before finally subsiding and leaving them several feet apart. Cursing his stupidity for allowing himself to be caught off-guard like that, Naruto immediately trained his eyes on Sasuke's still undisturbed features, and saw him looking right back; the hints of a smirk playing across the corners of his mouth.

"Looks like Sakura's gotten stronger," said Sasuke nonchalantly, his hand resting lightly on the hilt of his recovered and re-sheathed katana. "Unlike you."

With that, Sasuke allowed his smirk to become a little more apparent before he vanished in a puff of smoke of his own, leaving a bewildered, confused, hurt, shocked and angry Naruto in his wake.

-----------------------------------

I know what you're thinking: that whole angsty sappy question on Sasuke's part (_"why are you here? You shouldn't care about me,"_ blah, blah, blah. Yeah, you remember) was incredibly OOC. I, the ultimate "you _can't_ make them OOC!" harpy …am a hypocrite. But y'know what? I'm not! I know what you're asking: "and how is that, smartass?" Well, if you were to go back to the anime and watch their fight at the Valley of the End, he asks a similar question ("why do you go through so much trouble for me?" to be exact). All in all, I figured that if they could pull it off in the anime, then I could pull it off here.


	3. And the Fun Begins

Disclaimer Not mine –Kishimoto-sensei can have all of the rabid screaming, stalking, glomping, mooshing fans. I just want to play puppeteer with his characters.

Warnings: Check out the other chapters for most of this one, because I'm too damn lazy to copy/paste 'em in here. The only new warning I've got to add is "**randomness with a reason."** Sounds scary, doesn't it?

ChapterSummary: All I have to say here is: "let the chaos begin!"

**Chapter 3: And the Fun Begins **

"_Looks like Sakura's gotten stronger," said Sasuke nonchalantly, his hand resting lightly on the hilt of his recovered and re-sheathed katana. "Unlike you."_

_With that, Sasuke allowed his smirk to become a little more apparent before he vanished in a puff of smoke of his own, leaving a bewildered, confused, hurt, shocked and angry Naruto in his wake._

**--------------**

It took Naruto a couple of seconds to regain his bearings, and when he did, it was accented with a howl of "Take that back, you fucking bastard!" and a sudden choice to make a couple of Kage Bunshins that would help him find his wayward ex-teammate again. With a few clipped words containing instructions, Naruto and his three clones went sprinting off in different directions.

To say that Naruto was angry would be a bit of an understatement. Once again, he found himself completely and utterly _furious_. Did Sasuke not realize how hard it was to actually say something like that –and then not even be allowed to finish!? He didn't even really need to ask himself that question to get an answer: no, he didn't. Not by a long shot. And why was that? Because Sasuke never fucking said anything himself! Grant, Naruto himself was more of an emotional-connection/understanding type of person, and a lot of the time he never verbally said what he was feeling, but more of showed it, but still, at least he had given the whole "say what you feel" crap a shot! And what had he gotten for his efforts? The insensitive bastard walking out on him when he was saying the most important part of all, that's what!

'_So_,' he decided. '_If Sasuke's not going to listen to me on his own, I'm going to immobilize him so that he'll do it whether he wants to or not.'_ If immobilizing Sasuke meant beating him to a bloody pulp and then saying the last of his piece, then Sasuke was going to get beaten into a bloody pulp. At this point, Naruto didn't care much about what condition he would be in –he was actually gaining a sort of sadistic pleasure out of imagining what Sasuke would look like being beaten into that bloody pulp, even without Kyuubi's help.

Prodding ahead with small tendrils of chakra, Naruto searched the areas ahead of him for any traces of Sasuke's chakra. He concentrated on it so much that he almost forgot to pay attention to where he was going. This was especially true when one of his clones finally managed to distantly detect his signature. He chose to omit paying attention to where he was going completely in favor of doubling back and sprinting as fast as he could in the direction his clone had indicated to in a way not unlike that of a madman.

As he ran, Naruto failed to notice as the hairline cracks in the floor slowly become bigger and more defined or the fact that he was passing more and more corpses by the minute. He even neglected to register how the stench of blood, battle and death assaulted his senses, which was really saying something because his now-frequent contact with Kyuubi had sensitized them roughly about 4.27 times more than even the most sensually accomplished human should be physically able to do. Naruto reacted the way he did every time Sasuke was brought into a situation and unconsciously shut everything else down to focus on him and him only. He wasn't about to let him run away so easily this time. No way in hell.

His more or less blind wandering lead him to what could only be described as a collapsed cavern.

When it had still been standing, it had probably been rather grand, in a creepy sort of way. It had to be at least fifty feet deep and one-hundred wide and long, so now it looked more like a large bowl that had been engraved out of the land than anything. If there had been any furniture there, it wasn't in plain view. The midday sun was shining down and revealing the bluish-white color of what used to be the basket weave patterned walls. They were now only shapeless, unattractive heaps of rubble.

There were enormous fissures sprawling out from an equally enormous crater, along with several other, smaller craters and less noticeable cracks spider-webbing across the patterned floor. The sounds, sights, and smells of fighting were now blatantly obvious; one would have to be a senseless idiot to not notice them now and of course, Naruto didn't see any of that; he had eyes for only one of the fights that were still taking place before him: between Jiraiya, Tsunade and Orochimaru.

And now, Sasuke.

It was obvious that the three Sannin were wounded, low on chakra, and tired –how long had they been fighting now? Naruto didn't know, but he did know that he'd never seen the old hag or Ero-sennin this exhausted before –albeit Orochimaru was in worse shape than Jiraiya and Tsunade, but it wasn't by much. Naruto didn't know how that had happened, because by all rights, if two of the Legendary Sannin decided to gang up on the third, then said third Sannin should be quite dead. Something must have happened to even the playing field –either that, or Orochimaru was a lot stronger than Naruto had ever given him credit for.

Whatever had happened to make things turn out like this, Naruto knew that if one fresh fighter was added into the mix, then whomever aforementioned fighter chose to support would be the victors of this battle.

And Sasuke had sided with Orochimaru.

He was currently locked in close kunai-to-katana combat with Jiraiya. How he was managing to hold his own like this was a miracle in itself –either that or Jiraiya was _really_ worn out. Tsunade was backing Orochimaru up with several sets of complex, chakra-laden strikes in such a way that he and his apprentice were only a few feet away from fighting back-to-back. Despite their position, events already seemed to be turning their favor.

'_That bastard_!' thought Naruto as he began charging into the fray himself, his mind completely set on ripping Sasuke away from what he was doing and beating him within an inch of his life with Rasengan. Here they were, risking their damned lives to try and save _his_ ass, and here he was turning their actions against them without even a second friggen' thought about it. Disrespecting and humiliating him he could handle –it was to be expected– but this, this was the last straw.

Sasuke was going down.

Unfortunately, Naruto never got his chance to bring Sasuke down. He had almost finished making his way towards the traitor when there was a pause, a scuffle of feet against cracked floor, and an all-too-familiar shout of "Chidori!"

Naruto was struck deaf by the shrill screeching of thousands of birds, blind by an unearthly glow of blue-white light, and off-balance by the powerful after-shock waves of wind, rubble and chakra. His nostrils were burning with the smell of burned hair and flesh and he was spotted with droplets of blood, but he didn't notice any of it as he stared dumbly at where Ero-sennin, the old hag, and Sasuke were standing stock-still in front a particularly bloody heap named Orochimaru just a few scant feet in front of him. It seemed too surreal –random, sudden, whatever– to be true, but there was really now doubt about it: Orochimaru was now dead. Nobody, not even one of the Legendary Sannin, could survive a blow like that, so Naruto supposed that made the old pedophile _very_ dead.

For a while, nobody moved, nobody spoke, hardly even dared to so much as breathe –that is, until Tsunade said in a raspy, dehydrated voice that was barely louder than a whisper, "Uchiha, will you surrender now and allow us to take you back to the village as an unharmed prisoner, or will you put up a fight?" Somehow, despite the volume and how exhausted she sounded, she still somehow managed to make her voice ring with strength and authority.

And at that, Naruto began to barge forward again. Negotiations be damned, he wasn't leaving until he'd slammed his fist into Sasuke's face one or ten times. But again, his efforts were foiled when Jiraiya reached out and yanked him back by the collar of his jacket and twisted both of his arms painfully behind his back. "You'll get your chance, runt, don't worry about it," he intoned tiredly between pants. "Just not now."

Hearing those words placated Naruto a little, but not nearly enough to quell his burning desire to mash Sasuke into porridge. He continued to thrash and curse in the hold he was in, even though he knew that it wouldn't do anything.

When Sasuke simply looked at Tsunade and didn't reply, she took it as an affirmative and motioned for one of the newly appeared ANBU to go up and confiscate his katana and bind his wrists together with chakra-infused rope. To prevent him from making hand-seals, they were tied back-to-back and the knot both tight and complex. All the while, Sasuke watched placidly and made no move to resist what was being done to him. In Naruto's eyes, Sasuke was _too_ placid. It was almost as if he were simply playing his role in some sort of bigger plan and didn't give a shit if he acted it out convincingly or not.

And, for some reason, that thought unnerved Naruto, and it was in ways he couldn't explain.

**.o.0.O.0.o.0.O.0.o.**

**A/N: first off, this is the random part I mentioned earlier. It isn't what it looks like and will be explained in the later chapters, but I put it like this for plot purposes. Bear with me please.**

**--------------**

Skyler C. Dwelar was tired. She'd barely slept at all since she'd spent most of the past night watching anime on the computer (who didn't?) and as a result, she had overslept. For the purpose of saving time, she had decided to omit eating breakfast to run at break-neck speed out the front door in hopes of being able to catch the bus. She was in such a rush that it didn't even occur to her that she hadn't changed out of her pajamas or made herself decent enough for public viewing.

She was presently running across the street and had just about made it to the bus stop when

—**BAM**!

'_Shit! What the hell was that_?!' thought Skyler frantically'_Hm, it's kinda breezy and… hold it. Why don't I feel pain? And what's that thing down there?_' Her eyes narrowed as she squinted at the distant blob of red and blue.'_Shit that's me! Oh my god! I was hit by my own school bus! …God, am I really dead?! Ah, this sucks_!_ …And being hit and killed by my own school bus; that's actually pretty ironic…_'

"I think it would be ironic if we were all made of iron..." a male's voice droned on in a dreamy fashion. (A/N: prize ficlet of your choice to anyone who can guess where this quote came from.)

"What the hell was that…?" said Skyler to herself as she began warily looking around for the speaker.

"Me. Duh," the voice replied, as if it were obvious. A small winged woman appeared on her shoulder, sitting cross-legged and looking more or less sheepishly amused. She had little white wings that were only a little longer than what her arm-span would have been if they had been outstretched, slightly tanned skin, big, brownish-green eyes and blonde hair that just barely brushed her shoulders in a distinctly boyish fashion. She was wearing an off-white Japanese school-girl-type shirt with an embroidered heart on the left breast pocket and dark, almost skirt-like shorts that came down just past her knees. Her shoes looked like ballet slippers, complete with crisscrossing ribbons traveling partway up her legs. In truth, the only thing that Skyler really found strange about her (besides the wings, of course) was the fact that she had a rather masculine voice, even though she was obviously… well, a she.

Skyler stared at the little woman perched oh-so-casually on her shoulder. "Who the hell are you?!" she demanded. "Are you like some shinigami or grim reaper or something?"

"_No_," snapped the little winged woman, looking affronted. She straightened her shoulders and said haughtily, "I'm your _guardian angel_."

"What the hell?!" exclaimed Skyler. "If you're my guardian angel, then why didn't you help me? I just fuckin' died over there!?" Now Skyler wasn't a very angry or violent person by nature, but dying had made her somewhat edgy. This was all so …so random! If she could die and still be consciously aware of herself, and if she could talk to someone who was supposedly her 'guardian angel', then who knew what would –or could, for that matter– come next?

"Uh… yeah…" the little woman began, smiling and giggling sheepishly. "Sorry about that. I promise I'll make it up to you, okay? Just say the word and you can have anything you want."

"Like what? Be specific." Just because Skyler was miffed didn't mean that she didn't mean that she was miffed enough to not take advantage of the potentially profitable situation.

"Anything," she said simply.

"Okay…" said Skyler slowly, pausing for a little while to contemplate what she wanted to get from this chick. Suddenly, she snapped her fingers and declared, "I've got it: make me a god."

"Fine," the woman said simply, completely unruffled by what even Skyler would admit was an unreasonable request.

"What?!" sputtered Skyler. She had asked for it, yes, but that didn't mean that she expected to actually be made a_ god_. "That's not like… against the rules or sommin'?"

"No…" said the woman slowly; shaking her head and looking at Skyler as if she was particularly stupid. "Why would it be? Though actually, now that you mention it… everyone seems to think that –but nobody ever asks, so we don't have many gods…"

Skyler sighed, still somewhat half-mourning the loss of her life. "…Well, I guess this whole dying thing won't suck so much now that I'm gonna be made a god…" she said.

"Well, you're actually a descendant of a god –so it won't be that hard to make you one," the little woman said. "And I _am_ sorry about not saving you and all..." She trailed of before a thought visibly hit her and she said, "Wait! Are you sad and shit because you won't ever see your friends and family again, or just because you just lost your life? I mean, it doesn't really matter either way, but I'm kinda curious."

"What life?" said Skyler pointedly. "I never did anything –I didn't even have a lot of friends. My family will miss me, but they'll get over it eventually. And bus drivers will remember to drive safer…"

"Actually your death was your own fault," her guardian angel said blandly. "…Or some sick sort of weird coincidence... thing…"

"What? That wasn't suicide!" objected Skyler loudly. She knew she wasn't the smartest person out there, but she wasn't so stupid as to get herself killed on purpose! "And wait a minute –did you say I was a _descendant_ of a god?! Since when were my parents gods?!"

"Oh heavens no, not your _parents_!" The little person laughed out loud. "Your fathers' aunts' sister-in-law, twice removed cousins' daughters' stepmother."

"You mean great-aunt Ginny?" Skyler asked blankly.

The little woman looked slightly unsure, but said, "…Yeah."

"The alcoholic?" asked Skyler skeptically. "You sure 'bout that?"

"Yeah," said the woman, nodding. "She's a lesser god of festivals and parties –and she is quite the party animal, if I remember correctly."

"Okay…" said Skyler slowly, trying to wrap her mind around all of this new information and more or less succeeding at it. "So why weren't you there to take care of me all of these years? It's not like my life was traumatic or depressing or anything, but it was boring. Couldn't you have at least done something to help me out before I died?"

"Uh… yeah; sorry about that," the little woman apologized guiltily (again), another sheepish grin forming. "I just figured you had an okay life you didn't need me there to screw it up…"

"Yeah," said Skyler. "I've only just met you and I can see how that might have been problematic..."

"Exactly!" the guardian angel perked up almost instantly and her tone became business-like. "So now about that god thing—" she began, but Skyler cut her off.

"What, some weird restrictions or rules or something?" She had _known_ something like this would happen. Nothing good ever happened without there being something like this waiting to rain on the parade…

"No," said the woman. "No weird rules or restrictions –just some basic rules and sensible restrictions..."

"Shit!" said Skyler as a disturbing thought hit her. "Do I have to do something good for mankind?!"

"Only if that's the kind of God you want to be," the little woman assured her. "Speaking of which, what kind do you want to be, anyway?"

Skyler didn't even have to think about her answer to that question. "Trickst—" she began.

"Don't you want to—?" the woman began at the same time.

"No," said Skyler firmly. "I want to be a Trickster God –they always have more fun."

"True," she allowed. "But you weren't really much of a prankster."

"No, I wasn't," said Skyler. "Because then I was but a mere mortal –now I'm a fucking _god_! I can really screw with people now!"

"Woot! Now we're talking!" cheered the little woman excitedly, pumping her fist and leaping to her feet. "Got anyone you hate in particular or just humanity as a whole?" she asked, rubbing her hands together and developing a conniving expression.

"Well, I haven't really thought about that," admitted Skyler, not bothering to hold back her own calculating grin. After a moment of thought, she said, "not really. Both I guess…"

"Good," said the woman gleefully. "'Cause I've got some ideas that I think you might like…"

"Wait a sec. Pause, rewind, and freeze!" said Skyler forcefully, effectively cutting off what promised to be a long-winded rant. "Aren't you a guardian angel? Shouldn't you want to _help_ people? Not mess up their lives and relationships?"

"What?" The woman blinked blankly, until comprehension suddenly dawned on her small face. "Oh yeah, _that_ –well, I was kinda forced into this job. You know the family business deal? Yeah, it was that. I wanted to be a poltergeist, but _no_… I had to be a _guardian angel_," she explained, a disgusted scowl twisting the corners of her mouth.

There was a pause as Skyler took the time to absorb this information. Finally, she said, "oh. That makes a lot of sense…" There was another pause in which nobody knew what to say, but Skyler broke it again by saying, "Perfect. So I have pissy angel, Godly powers I can use to screw with people –and no one to torture…" She let her voice trail off in annoyance.

Her new companion perked up again at the mention of screwing with the lives of others. "Well, I really do have some ideas..." she said, trailing off seggestively.

"Hit me," said Skyler gamely.

"Okay," she began with obvious relish. "You know that show you watched all night –Naruto? Well I think we should go there and screw with that hottie Sasuke…"

"Yeah he's cute –for an animated character," said Skyler. "But I didn't think that that show was real."

"Oh, believe you me. It's real," the woman assured her confidently.

"But I dunno how we could screw with his life," Skyler continued. "I mean, he's already pretty screwed up as it is –and I can _totally_ tell he's gay…"

"Is there something wrong with that?" demanded the woman hotly, boring holes into the side of Skyler's head with an intense glower. Skyler, surprised by her companion's reaction, took a moment to examine her a little more closely. Apparent lack of a bust, long, unshaven legs, strong facial features, that masculine voice…

'_Oh my god! She's a guy!'_ she finally realized with a faint trace of horror and hilarity. Suppressing a bout of laughter in such a way that it seemed as though she were blushing in humiliation, Skyler contemplated the odds of having a guardian angel who was openly gay, cross-dressed, and freely made comments about how god-looking anime guys were. She didn't really like the odds that she presented herself with, but more importantly, how was she supposed to explain that she thought that he was a woman the entire time?!

Or, back to matters at hand, how was she supposed to deal with the fact that he was now presently boring holes into her head with his eyes.

"Oh…! Um… no, of course not!" said Skyler, laughing nervously. "I um… yeah. Sorry 'bout that." To be honest, Skyler had absolutely no problem with gay men, it was just that she didn't expect her guardian angel to be one, and the way he was glaring at her was making her feel rather uncomfortable.

After a couple of seconds, he seemed to visibly relax and said dismissively, "Whatever. Let's just get on with planning to screw his life up."

"Yeah…" she agreed, nodding with slight uncertainty. "Yeah okay."


End file.
