True Blood 1. Chapter 1

_**A/N:** The idea for these little snippets (they're so short I won't dare call them one shots) came about when I made a comment somewhere that the good and bad thing about the open ending of the TB season finale was that it was an easy fix, so I figured why not do that instead of the usual barrage of pics of my usual chapter announcement whenever a new chapter for one of my other stories is up on the blog. They're proving quite popular over there so I decided I might as well start uploading them here too. They're short they're sweet and uncomplicated so enjoy as long as my muse lasts._

_**Edit November 2014**__: While the original intention was to keep these short and sweet, the fixin's soon became longer. They average around 1500-2000 words after this very short first one. From Chapter 14 onward one single fixin' was extended into a story of its own. A brief description of that particular fic: _

"_I know you, there are two Sookie Stackhouse's. One who still clings to the idea that she's merely human and the other who's coming to grips with the fact that you are better than that." – Eric Northman._

So what would happen when one angry fairy was knocking on the back door of Fangtasia while a seemingly human and heavily pregnant version of her is preparing for an elaborate Thanksgiving feast?

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_Please note that I don't own anything pertaining to the universe of SVM and True Blood created by Charlaine Harris and HBO. Any recognisable characters, storylines and/or dialogue belong to them. I just try to make you feel better for what the treatment of the past seven years has put you through ;)_

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**#1**

Eric flew in with great haste cursing himself for arriving so late as he took in the tastefully decorated table from the sky as it was filled with the most important people in Sookie's life. Finding her eyes instantly his worried hands travelled over her protruding belly without pause.

"You made it," she smiled gratefully trying to avert the concern in his eyes. She was taking on too much in the last trimester but there was little that could dissuade the unstoppable force known as Sookie Stackhouse. It didn't stop him from reminding her at every turn and threatening to call Dr Ludwig on her.

"Wouldn't miss it for the world," he returned before greeting everyone at the table. He grabbed a chair placing it strategically between himself and the man at the head of the table. "What is the sperm donor doing in my seat," he whispered with a hint of annoyance to her ears.

"Hush now," she returned at his lack of manners. "It took a lot of work locating someone in your direct genetic line, the least we can offer him is a home cooked meal."

Eric grumbled a little as he warily eyed the man that resembled more of the werewolf and despicable Compton than any of his own looks. His eyes decided to travel to the life that was growing in her belly instead that despite altered genetics smelt of both of them while a contented heartbeat thundered aloud. He sighed, not in resignation but in gratitude, a fitting feeling at this American feast after all. He was thankful for everyone at the table, including the one in his seat. So what if their child might resemble one of her exes in looks, the child would be theirs and anyone who would suggest otherwise would not only fear the scorn of his wrath but Sookie's too.


	2. Chapter 2

_A/N: In case it wasn't clear from the last author's note these snippets are completely unrelated to each other, they're just different interpretations of an open ending._

**#2**

It was probably the worst place to be on the night before Thanksgiving, Walmart. Sometimes schedules only afforded so much, so here she was waddling down the aisle shopping list in one hand while her bump practically pushed the cart forward with a little bit of strength from the other arm. Her brows furrowed as she took in the sheer volume of things she would need and questioning once again what frame of mind she was in to be hosting such an elaborate dinner for so many people when she was just about to pop and not in the fairy way. It was because of her internal musings and general lack of attention that had Sookie colliding with a solid unidentified object. Without thought the list was dropped and her hands immediately fell into protection of the precious bump before she ever managed to register what she had hit.

"Sookie?" an oddly familiar voice asked.

"Eric," she smiled. "Long time no see."

"Indeed," he returned with a sultry smile. "I have been mainstreaming."

"You haven't changed a bit," Sookie admonished in return shaking her head along with the playfulness of his words. Whenever Eric saw her he never quite relented making fun of the ex that had introduced them to each other. It kept his memory alive without it becoming a downtrodden affair.

"You have," the blonde Viking said pointing to the large bump. "How is the rent-a-womb business?"

"I do quite well," she quipped back. "Who knew a part fairy woman is the perfect gestational womb for the two natured? It beats working for Arlene."

"And how is scufflebeard?"

"He makes a decent deep fried turkey so I guess he gets to stay…" she returned testily. "What are you doing here anyways Mr Northman?"

"Seeing to the New Blood display," he offered gesturing at the giant display that put the Pyramids of Giza to shame.

"Right Mr Moneybags. How could I forget I see that cheesy grin of yours everywhere these days," Sookie said as she attempted to do the impossible by picking up her fallen grocery list but before she could even bend at the knee he had already picked it up and out of her grasp. Her protests fell on deaf ears as a weary eyed employee was set to task to fetch all her groceries in an instant.

"No dessert?" he questioned with a piqued brow as he mentally recalled her list. "Perhaps I should bring you some. I am wondering where you left my invitation to this fantastical feast that Willa won't shut up about."

"I figured you were too busy," she said with a hint of embarrassment. "But if you like you're more than welcome to come. Pam too of course." No matter how many years passed the smallest plea that she would ever afford him in those hypnotising eyes had him weak in the knees.

"Tell you what, you get rid of scufflebeard at the end of the night and I'll swoop in with dessert."

Her eyes lit up with excitement, "Well his use does sort of end after the meal."

"Excellent I will see you then, I have to get back to work."

"Sure," she returned before giving him a small wave and sought out the man who now navigated her cart. At his insistence she sat and waited at the cash register while her order was trussed up and bagged and her payment was waived. She sighed with a hint of annoyance at Eric's high handed ways but in the spirit of Thanksgiving decided to let it slide this once. Thankfully she was able to man her cart to her car assuring the employees she was perfectly capable of transferring a few grocery bags into the boot without aggrieving the illustrious Mr Northman.

She wasn't surprised to find the overbearing vampire leaning against her car sporting a mischievous grin to match. Without a word he transferred the groceries into the car as she sat down into the driver's seat thankful to let up her feet.

With one hand still on the car he leaned in and gave her a deep kiss on the mouth as the other caressed the life inside her tummy. "How are my two favourite girls?" Eric murmured as he continued to kiss down the length of her neck before showering her swollen stomach with kisses as she gasped for air.

"Content as always," Sookie replied. "Hey what about Pam?"

"Not a favourite girl tonight," he explained.

"Does that mean what I think it means?" she asked excitedly.

"Yeah," Eric answered happily. "She'll be making you two pecan pies, a peach cobbler and the obligatory pumpkin pie."

"With nutmeg?"

"With nutmeg," he assured. It was a dumbfounding discovery to Sookie that Pam could bake, she was quite the domestic goddess although she killed anyone who knew that about her. Whenever her petulance broke out it proved to be quite the effective punishment to dole out and Sookie happily reaped the rewards of her baking skills. It was sacrilege for her to even to think it, never would she ever admit it aloud, but Pam's baking repertoire was better than her Gran's. It only made sense that the evil spawn made sinfully delicious things.

"Thank god," Sookie said in relief. "Scufflebeard may be a professional private chef but he can't bake a thing if his life depends on it. Can I please have my kitchen back after Thanksgiving? You know how I feel about live in staff."

"We've discussed this," Eric returned sternly as he carefully tried to avoid the pouty face that had him giving in way too easily. "He's staying till you're fully recovered after our baby is born. Ludwig warned you about moving about too much. You should have sent him to do the groceries instead."

"I know," she moaned with her bottom lip jutting out again. "I just wanted to see you. It's been so long."

"It's been two days," he corrected before softening his tone. "But it's nice to see you too. Once the meeting is done tomorrow night I'll be all yours for the next couple of months. Ok? Nothing to distract me from my two favourite girls."

"Ok," Sookie said with mild resignation before sticking out her lips again in demand of another kiss which he was all too happy to accommodate. "So I'll see you after."

"Yes."

"With dessert?"

"With dessert."


	3. Chapter 3

**#3**

"Why is he sitting there?" Niall said pointedly while gesturing at the man sitting idly at the head of the table outside who was picking at his teeth with the carving knife.

"Because he has the best set of biceps. And he cooked the turkey, so he gets to sit at the top."

"But I'm the prince of the Fairy Realm," he said with confusion "I'm the eldest here."

"If you're gonna keep this up you can sit at the top of the kid's table," Sookie warned as she was stirring three different sauces at the same time. Frankly she'd much rather see turkey fryer gone soon too. A pregnant telepath dating was the worst combination she had discovered yet. He was friendly for a while but now his mind was revealing that he was only attracted to the milk that came from her breasts. Thank god they never even so much as kissed.

Then he had offered to cook the turkey for her so she figured his nasty thoughts owed her that much. Besides from the numerous guests that were coming not one of them had offered to help her prepare this elaborate feast because Sookie damn well took care of everybody all the time and no one gave it a single thought that this was all too much for a woman who was about to give birth any moment from now.

"Do they at least get spaghetti," Niall grumbled.

"No," Sookie yelled in agitation of her situation. "No more spaghetti for you,"

"I don't like him," the fairy prince continued to whine. "And I don't like him for you."

"You don't like anyone for me!"

"I like the Northman," he said in defiance

"I'm well aware," she griped as she apologetically rubbed over her belly. It couldn't be blamed for the troublesome relationship with the Viking father. Niall could, his preference for the ancient vampire had him weaving all sort of spells of which this was his most invasive yet. It was like he was orchestrating a soap opera with his great grandchild. Sookie sighed once more wondering why he couldn't just be like other people's elderly relatives and just stalk her on Facebook instead.

"I took the courtesy of inviting him you know," Niall said off handed.

"You did what?" Sookie returned incensed.

"And that charming Pamela too," he continued completely ignoring her discontent. "She really knows how to rev my engine."

"Gah!" Sookie reacted with horror forcing down the bile at the mere thought. "I don't want to know these things about you."

"Why not?" the prince shrugged as he continued to search through her cabinets for a pack of spaghetti. He was hoping she had the one in a can, those were his favourite. "Ms de Beaufort says that Dear Abby insists you be truthful with your children about your sex life. It's all about establishing healthy communication."

"Please stop," Sookie exhaled in exasperation. "I'll do anything you ask."

"Excellent," Niall smiled with glee. "You're going to listen what the Northman has to say and give him a chance to explain."

"Fine," she huffed. As if the man had a sixth sense for it the Viking vampire took that moment to announce his arrival at the door.

"Eric," Sookie greeted icily her gaze hardly meeting his as she wondered why he had shown up in that ridiculous Tokyo drift car.

"Sookie please allow me to explain," he pleaded.

"Five minutes," she conceded. "I have a yard full of people out back and an infuriating great grandfather tearing up my kitchen in search of pasta."

"He likes the ones with dinosaurs," Eric offered to which she could only scowl. "Right five minutes. Come on I'll show you."

She eyed his outstretched hand wearily but remembered her promise to her grandfather. Those darn unbreakable fairy promises still continued to trip her up continually.

"You brought her here?" Sookie whisper yelled as she saw Sarah Newlin's body with her face planted on the backseat. "What? You thought give her some yard time and I don't think you're the most despicable person in the world?"

"Sookie," he sighed as he ran a tired hand through his hair. He didn't know it was physically possible but Ms Sparkly Vagina had the unique quality of aging his ancient vampire self. "Will you just let me explain for once?"

"Explain," she returned testily with her arms crossed, which at her near nine months was an impressive feat.

"Look," he said dragging down the back of Sarah Newlin's dress. A small panel popped open showing a whirl of electronics.

"She's a robot?"

"Did you really think I would allow for such a risk to threaten my existence?" he questioned before placing his hand on the magical life they had created together with Niall's aid. "Our existence."

"But… how?"

"When we inherited the Yakanoma Corporation it turned out they had a huge artificial intelligence branch," he explained. "Pam wanted to pimp her out to the more perverse of our kind but I had a better idea."

"Which was?" Sookie demanded.

"Fill those veins with New Blood and sell it at an inflated price from the 'cure' herself," he shrugged. "We have a bot in every franchise of Fangtasia offering an instant cure."

"So you're just robbing people blind? Selling them a fake cure."

"No," Eric sighed. "It was simply impossible to cure all vampires with Sarah Newlin's blood. Do you know how expensive it was to synthesise this product. We're selling it at a severe loss so everyone does get a chance to be cured. The idiots who pay a $100,000 a pull to drink from the lovely 'Sarah' make sure the balance stays out of the red. The concentration of the cure is higher but that is the only difference."

"So you're like Robin Hood?"

"Yes," he smirked. "Except I look better in tights."

"That you do," she admitted. "Why didn't you explain this to me before?"

"I've been calling you for weeks, knocking on your door every night."

"No you haven't," Sookie denied. That had been the worst part of it all; that he didn't even bother to come up with an excuse or explanation before. That he simply abandoned her and the baby without a word. Now he was lying about it too.

"Yes. I have."

They both looked at each other and a matching thought dawned on them at the same time. "Niall!"

"Yes," the fairy prince replied happily with a cold opened can and spoon in either hand as he continued to chow down on his favourite human food.

"You've been meddling again!" Sookie admonished. "I don't care if you're prince of whatever f-ing realm but you do not get to stoke fires between me and Eric!"

"You two were becoming so boring," he shrugged. "All lovey dovey. I needed some sort of entertainment."

"I swear to God pregnant or not I'm going to beat your primordial ass!"

"It was Pamela's idea," he suddenly confessed fearing the wrath of his great granddaughter. Granted it was highly entertaining when directed at the Viking but it was a different thing to be at the end of it.

"Pamela," Eric growled out at the progeny hiding behind the royal fairy.

"Shit."

"Not now," Eric said testily.

"Shit Eric," Sookie exclaimed. "My water broke."

"Shit. Indeed," Pam drawled out scenting the air.

"Eric I'm scared," Sookie whimpered. Her anger of moments before instantly gone as he held her carefully in his loving embrace.

"Shh," he soothed. "It'll all be okay I'm here now."

"I'm so sorry for everythin' Eric," she sobbed.

"Not our fault my love."

"I know," she sighed before she found the comfort in his eyes and smiled brightly. "Hey, we're gonna have a baby."

"I know," he beamed back at her before planting a soft kiss to her forehead.

"Eric promise me something."

"Anything."

"When we bring the baby home you'll find Niall and Pam a new show. They've been insufferable since that show ended."

"Character assassination!" Pam huffed, her ire with the unsatisfying season ending still grating on her. Niall bobbed his head along with equal conviction.

"And bring us back some of that dinosaur spaghetti," the fairy prince added to the list of requests when his spoon came up empty from the can. "Oh and a pair of Labradors size 39."

"Louboutins," Pam hissed from behind.

"What she said," Niall shrugged at the glowering pair.

"Can we just replace those _two_ with some bots instead?" Sookie pleaded to Eric.

"Happy to oblige," the Viking replied with a murderous glance directed their way.


	4. Chapter 4

_A/N: Less of a fixin' and more of a how the hell did that happen?_

**#4**

"Pamela?" Eric's stern voice commanded. "Who the fuck has been messing with my scripts?"

His progeny barely looked up, too engrossed in combing her personal lookalike's hair. The likeness was striking, of course she would always remain far better looking than the doll but she had to admit it was great fun to dress the Barbie doll in all the different outfits on her desk. They had come to the decision to act out the show with dolls as every actor and actress up for the part of Eric or Sookie was vetoed by one or the other when their significant other held an appreciative eye for a performer. There was no way in hell Pam was going to allow ugly people on her cast. Well that's what she had told her maker and his bonded, of course Pam had a stable of the most attractive actors ready and waiting but they'd be long gone, fucking each other's brain out all over the world before they would notice.

"Pamela," her maker repeated with a menacing growl that finally had her averting eyes upwards. "My scripts?"

"They're on your desk," she returned dismissively.

Eric took an unneeded breath and counted to ten before his tone was calm enough again. "Someone has been messing with my scripts. Again," he seethed while tossing the thick stack of papers onto her ridiculously pink desk. "You're supposed to be head bitch in charge here and all you seem to be doing is playing with these dolls."

"But they're so cute Eric," she gushed waving the downsized version of him excitedly. "Look at little Eric in his little leather jacket."

"There is nothing little about me!" the almighty and virile Viking sneered before departing her office. "Find the fucker who is messing with my scripts!"

"Cry baby," Pam muttered to his departing form while reaching for the altered script.

"I heard that!"

"Bite me!"

Her speedy eyes started grazing the pages watching as the careful craftsmanship of Eric's words were being violated by a certain ghost writer. It wasn't a hard guess who the ghost may be, the fucker would be decidedly dead soon enough.

"What the fuck is wrong with him," Pam uttered to herself as she walked to the source of the problem who occupied the smallest office at the end of the hall. "She uses that fairy light of hers and he turns human? As if! What's next they run off into the sunset together and he doesn't burn?"

She groaned when the ridiculously predictable ending appeared on the next page, he wasn't even original enough to make it proverbial. "Cocksucker Compton!" Pam yelled into the empty office. She should have been coloured surprised by that fact, except that she wasn't and knew exactly where to find the weasily slimeball. Hanging over Sookie's desk. As always. And as always she was too polite to send him off. Apparently the clear distancing line marked out on the floor and the 'Fuck off Compton' sign Eric installed held no meaning to the Civil War vet.

Pam wasted no time dragging him by his ridiculously casual Henley shirt and tossed him into the bathrooms. The blonde vampire remarked again the office was nice and all but it really was missing a good torture dungeon. Humans, however, were predictable enough to be disgusting when it came to these quarters so it worked in a pinch.

"I swear to Satan himself you constipated fuck if you mess with the scripts one more time I'll stake you myself. Press tour be damned," she yelled out at the shivering vamp. "You can't even get a fucking Starbucks order right what makes you think you can write a decent ending? The only ending you'll ever be able to perform is your fucking self! And you'd probably fuck that up too!"

"I'm…" he started in defence but a sharp jab of her pumps silenced him instantly.

"I don't fucking want to hear it," Pam raged. "See that porcelain throne, better get used to it. That's the only one you'll ever sit on again with a crown atop your head ever again. You're on cleaning duty and I'm fucking ordering Mexican for the humans."

"But I have no cleaning supplies."

A single brow raised pointedly as she continued to look down on the whimpering fool. She considered giving him another well aimed kick of the pump but instead she raised two forefingers in front of her mouth, splayed wide and waggled her tongue at him provocatively. "Better get creative Bill."

A nervous gulp drank down his throat before giving a submissive nod as his tongue darted out and wiped at the porcelain bowl. The blonde vampiress spun on her heels exciting the disgusting room yelling for her inept assistant, "Ginger! Bring round my car I need to drain a fucking donor!" After all _that_ work Pam really did think she deserved a night on the town, LA sure beat bumfuck, Louisiana. "And a mani-pedi!"

"Did she fall for it," Sookie whispered to Eric under Pam's desk.

He listened to the departing clacks of her expensive footwear before giving the affirmative nod.

"Look at us we're so cute," she said excitedly holding up their counterpart dolls. It was a mystery to them both why no one recognised that they were clearly the matching set of the lot.

"I'm not cute," Eric grumbled.

"Handsome then," she corrected before offering a conciliatory kiss. "Hey you have no penis. It's just plastic underwear. You never wear underwear."

"You have no holes," he complained as he lifted up the dress on the Sookie doll. "How are they supposed to have sex?"

"Well when I was little we just did this," Sookie said with a small demonstration of writhing dolls.

"That's ridiculous," Eric retorted with a roll of his eyes. "Let's show them how it's done."

"Eric," Sookie hissed. "This is Pam's office."

"Exactly," he returned with a waggle of his brow.

"Oh…" Before managing to give her affirming reply his lips already silenced any sound that would further pass hers. When he finally let her up for some much needed air she managed to stammer out between fleeting moans, "hey Eric how's the show going to end?"

"Who the fuck cares?" he said between pronounced kisses as his hands travelled all over her body.

"Well I'm curious."

"We end up together, laughing, fucking and killing the occasional fairy."

"So pretty much what we do now?" Sookie breathed out.

"Yes," Eric confirmed. "Who cares how it ends as long as _we_ end up fucking under this table, on top of it against the wall and you know I'm fucking you up against that giant window."

"Eri-" her protests were instantly absorbed by his mouth again and her body soon complied with his every wish as his tongue stroked her into submission. While the two eternally insatiable lovers continued their play on the fluorescent pink carpet the intern Frian Fuckner, Bill's personal recruit, stealthily entered the room and stole away the final script to add to the altered stack he already 'wrote'. His beady little eyes gleamed with the power he now exerted as he crawled behind his computer and in the cover of darkness wrote what he considered his magnum opus and clicked send, delivering irreparable damage in the end.

**A/N: Special thanks to msbuffy on this one who always entertains and encourages my twisted humour in the comments section of the blogs one of which this story flowed from. **

**To the guest reviewers who I can't thank in person; I'm glad to hear you are all enjoying these shorts and thanks for taking the time to let me know ;). As ever prompts/requests are entertained and barring that feel free to rant about all the things that were wrong with TB that stuff inspires me too. For example I have a whole short planned about recycled footage from season 3….**


	5. Chapter 5

**#5**

"So Katie as you can see these are our closest friends and family," Pam said gesturing at the large gathered table of mostly Sookie's friends and family. Supplemented with as many demographically appropriate sourced children. "It usually isn't such a large gathering but it is Thanksgiving. Eric and I do enjoy the company of good honest hard working Americans. Isn't that right honey?"

"Of course dear," Eric returned with the fakest smile he owned as they continued the charade for the camera. In all honesty he merely tolerated most of the people at the table for Sookie's sake. Her brother was amusing as was Lafayette but he would surely forget most of the others in a decade or two. "It's why all our production lines are in the good old U.S. of A."

Pam continued her practiced political spiel carrying that megawatt smile which instantly fell off her face with the disappearance of the red light above the camera lens. To her credit Pam had vastly improved upon her 'warm' personality for the camera since Nan Flanagan had forced her appearance for the AVL promos.

Eric looked longingly across the yard at his beloved Sookie who was forced to re-enact the pouring of the drinks around the table for the third time for the benefit of the camera. The asshole who was sitting in his seat was treated to the patented Eric Northman death glare as she hugged her 'honey' for the third time that night. Motherfucker was lucky he was gay and could style Pam's hair like no other or there would have been no restraint left in the Viking as the hairy paws of Immanuel surrounded Sookie for the fourth time that night.

Eric sighed internally for the nth time that night for agreeing to Pam's latest schemes but he had to agree she had a point. They resided in a 'red' state and while that colour usually had his inner vampire happy with glee, in this case it had only caused them problems. The demise of governor Burrell had given them some berth especially when the New Blood money started coming in big and fast. Pam and Eric were invited everywhere as the latest power couple and the media quickly spun them as 'eternal lovers'. That kept the money coming in even faster as the mortals became fascinated by their 'love' story and had them stocking up on a product with a short shelf life that they never drank and replenished regardless for the mere thought that these two might show up for dinner one night. It was all good for business so they never corrected the assumption.

Pam's run for Governor had them reasserting the image others had created for them. There was no way around it, she had to become an actual 'Republicunt' if they were ever to stand a chance at winning the elections and Eric was relegated the role of supportive husband. It was all imperative to their business, whose growth and thus further survival was being waylaid by the current staunch anti-vampire Governor and because of Sookie, Eric had refused to entertain relocating to a more tolerant environment.

Pam knew her maker would happily give it all up to live the rest of his days without a penny to his name with Sookie. He had hated that she sent a glamour squad to erase the memories of their four year relationship to every living thing at the table and the other inhabitants of Bon Temps. Sookie herself had been the one to convince him of the need in the end, she didn't like being relegated as Eric's dirty little secret but she too saw the need for the tolerance necessary in the political office.

It was for their own good, Willa had assured Pam of this many times. As was this TV crew. It wouldn't be long before their plans would unravel assuring her of the governor's seat. The natural daughter of Republicunts herself knew exactly how to play to the emotional heartstrings of their intended electorate. They had glamoured Immanuel so well he nearly forgot his attraction to men. The two daughters knew their maker well enough to know he wouldn't last long with the amorous appearance of the 'happy' hosting couple.

They shared a perceptive look as they observed their maker's poor hold on his emotions as the enamoured hairstylist ground his crotch into an uncomfortable looking Sookie as he continued to stroke over her protruding belly. Willa received the approving nod from Pam and quickly gathered the camera crew into another direction and just as they predicted their maker took the opportune moment to steal Sookie away.

Another signal was exchanged when the tell-tale sounds that could only be heard by sensitive vampire ears emerged. Pam directed the crew into the old farmstead as per her and Willa's scheme. "Character like this really can't be found anymore," Pam narrated with faux nostalgia of the to her utterly unimpressive home while her hand moved over the doorknob as she pretended to ignore the grunting sounds that were coming from beyond the door. The observing eye would notice that her well-practiced line of "Oh my God! Eric how could you?" was delivered a few seconds before a proper view of the room was even given. The TV crew however descended on the sight like vultures as they took in the couple mid coitus where Sookie scrambled to cover her bare behind with her upturned dress as an angry Eric tried to evict the camera crew out unsuccessfully as he tripped over the pants still around his ankles while his hands scrambled to cover the camera lens. The sisters exchanged another knowing glance. Everything had gone exactly as planned.

The two progeny sat contentedly in the newly modified Governor's Mansion in Baton Rouge smoking two fat cigars throwing the recently struck matches into the fireplace as they congratulated each other on a job well done. As predicted the sympathy had fallen in Pam's favour. There was collective outrage with the betrayal of her former 'eternal' love and with that she had won the election with ease. It only further proved to Pam that humans were especially stupid and it only made sense that the more intelligent species be in charge of them now. Her first goal was to outlaw those awful looking Crocs in the state. She shivered in disgust every time she spotted a pair.

"How long do you suppose till we're forgiven?" Willa asked Pam, as she held more knowledge when it came to Eric's ire.

She gave a tiny shrug, "Not much longer," Pam returned while discerning whether she was in need of a new manicure already. "Sookie texted me she'd see me next Tuesday. Although she did spell it with a 'c' and just a 'u'… she's usually so good with her grammar."

"And Eric?"

"He'll get over it soon enough," she mused. "Eric's probably only mad because Sookie's mad. Though with the amount of pixels needed to cover his 'gracious plenty' he really can't complain about his latest claim to fame. It was good thinking on your part to make Sookie wear that fake pregnancy belly. Humans are such idiots, they will scorn a woman for everything and anything but when they're pregnant they're all saints."

As soon as the media storm died down Pam knew her maker would be grateful as he was now absolved from his public role and could return to relative anonymity with Sookie running the New Blood business without difficulty. The glamour squad had already lifted the hold on the town's memories and the media had moved on to the next politician and his airport bathroom relations.

Pam and Willa already had their next political aspirations expertly planned out. The 'unfortunate' Immanuel had already agreed to be her next beard as through their tragic mutual betrayal a 'romance' between them would emerge and with careful leaks that would guarantee her a seat in the senate. While running for the presidency his preference for men would be revealed and with that victory Pam would finally teach that oval office what sex with a woman was really all about.

"What if they never stop being mad?" Willa probed nervously.

"As soon as we pass the laws allowing marriage and adoption for our kind they'll remember exactly why we are sitting in this office," Pam smiled at her sister. "They'll remember that everything we did and do is for them."


	6. Chapter 6

_A/N: Slight non-con warning but really it's all in the name of comedic hijinks, nothing graphic and I doubt anyone will take offense but just in case you have been warned… _

**#6**

"You can come out of the woods now," Sookie spoke at a normal volume to human ears, knowing he would hear her with ease.

"In a minute," he yelled back as he continued his game of Candy Crush on his phone. Sookie shook her head as she gathered the final plates and blew out the last of the candles.

"You could have just joined us at the table," she sighed not expecting an answer as she heard the tell-tale music in the background that would have him glued to the smartphone for hours.

"You know weres make me itchy," he returned with a crinkle of his nose startling her with his sudden appearance beside her.

"And shifters are shifty," Sookie sighed as she repeated the usual insults flung at her friends. She gave him a fiery scowl before she shoved the stack of plates into his arms. "Take those inside will you?"

"I don't understand why you do this all yourself."

"Because I want to," she said with a hard glare, unwilling to discuss this subject again.

"I wish you would allow me to take care of you," he tried again.

"I already told you no. I'm doing just fine on my own."

"With Bob?"

"Don't start about Bob again," Sookie warned. "He pays his share of the bills and that's all that matters."

"He's a cat," he pointed out.

"Was a cat," Sookie corrected. It was per Holly's suggestion that Bob had come to live with Sookie as she needed the money while missing work during the final trimester of her pregnancy. It had been a little disconcerting when she first met him as he resembled Alcide in looks. Looking back if starting a family was ever going to have happened with anyone it would have been with the deceased werewolf. Sookie had soon after discovered he was a rare breed among his kind. She had tried to date human men after that but it was a wasted attempt. She had closed herself off of any further vampire romances as she could no longer see a long term future in that anymore, they all just seemed to carry too much baggage. She would be lying to herself that she didn't like to google a certain Viking's name on a cold and lonely night but only with that distance would she entertain any hint of fang. She was an independent woman now and that was that.

By all appearances Bob would have been her perfect partner. His transformation into a cat for two years had altered his brain signature making it sound like a subtle haze. He was handsome but just like Alcide, he was still hung up on the ex that had made him miserable. Besides she had decided two years ago she wanted to be a mother regardless of a man in her life and had become quite familiar with the turkey baster beyond its use on Thanksgiving Day. After the fifth failed attempt she had finally given in and allowed the man who was now harassing her to help her out financially by having the procedure performed in a state of the art clinic. However, it made the ancient think he had a say in every decision in her life and hover over her like an overbearing father.

"Sookie, the babies needs a father figure in its life," he started again.

"I turned out fine without one for most of my life," she returned. "And Jason will do a fine job as uncle just like he does with his own kids."

"The gene clearly skipped that one."

Sookie rolled her eyes in annoyance as she set down the prepared plate of pasta in front of him that he demanded whenever he deigned it appropriate to 'pop' in on her.

"Can we just skip the running commentary tonight and get straight to the point?" Sookie asked.

"We Fae are promiscuous beings," he explained between bites of his spaghetti. "It's why traditionally the women held power. The assurance of the royal blood passing through them asserted their reign."

"I'd really like to get to my bed soon Niall," Sookie said with and incessant tap of her feet.

"At some point in our history it became too complex to continue to pass power with our long lifespan so we incited magic to bind us to an individual," he continued to explain. "Like a marriage."

"And this made you faithful?" she questioned sceptically.

"No, but it assured only between those two a child could be born. It's why so many fairies are reproductively challenged now."

"That's real interesting Niall. Are you done?"

"You and the Northman exchanged blood correct?" Sookie nodded to information she had already told her great grandfather a long time ago. "You entered a winter realm of your own."

"What does this have to do with each other great granddaddy? Just spit it out already."

"The Northman is the father of the babies."

With that revelation the glass of warm milk Sookie had been nursing splattered all over the Prince of the Fae's face. "Excuse me?"

Sookie was extremely tired but after Niall's admissions there was no way that she would ever find anything but a fitful rest that night. She moved past the long line round the once familiar building of Fangtasia thankful to spot Pam at the door. Aside from the sneering look directed her way Pam was helpful enough to show her into Eric's office.

"Hi," Sookie said nervously to the vampire that she hadn't seen or heard from in years.

"Sookie," he returned with caution in his voice as he took in her swollen form. "You are with child?"

"Two actually. Fairies are not so good with the singular."

"What can I do for you?" Eric asked still slightly mesmerised by her sudden appearance while indicating they take a seat on the sofa. He had thought of her often and had a vivid daydream a few months back but he had given her the space she required of him and continued his bored existence on without her. Always with a cautious eye to her safety in the background but he had given strict instructions not to be informed of her personal life. A small part of him had always hoped that she would suddenly reappear in his life like tonight and the truth of her life may have shattered that fantasy.

"Congratulationsthey'reyours!" Sookie blurted out.

"Come again?"

"Do you remember me coming to you in a nurse's outfit?" she asked with cheeks flushed red with the embarrassment of it all. "I gave you a…"

"Sponge bath and a happy ending in a cup," he finished with a smirk. "That really happened? I was sure it was a dream. You saucy minx."

"Well it happened, but it wasn't me. Itwasniall."

"You're going to have to repeat that last part slower," Eric said coolly as he peeled away the mortified hands hiding her face.

"It wasn't me. It was my great granddaddy Niall Brigant," she explained with fear in her eyes. "He magicked himself to look like me after I finally allowed him help to get me pregnant but I swear I didn't know Eric. I thought he was just fronting me the money for IUI. Apparently we're fairy bound and you're the only one able to father my children because royal fairies can't keep it in their pants. I only found out tonight Eric, I'm so sorry but you deserved to know."

"Violated by the prince of the fae… I've had worse," Eric shrugged before it dawned on him what extraordinary magic had actually taken place. Confusion marred his otherwise beautiful face. "I'm going to be a father?"

"Yeah," she admitted shyly. "We'll work something out. Whatever you want."

"Whatever I want?" he asked with far too much smugness than Sookie felt he should be afforded.

"With limitations," she added quickly in her sternest voice.

"Tell me when I reach the limitations," he offered in negotiation to which she gave a small nod of assent. "I want us to be in each other's life again. Take you out to dinners. Spoil you with gifts," he tested.

"No gifts."

"Gifts for the babies?" Eric tried and with her silence he continued, "I want to be there every step of the way. The doctor's appointments, the birth, bringing them home." His eyes sparkled at the prospect with what was to come, what rare gifts resided inside her. Tentatively he reached out to the round of her stomach with her consent and felt the buzzing of life beneath. He moved his head close, listening to the cacophony of heartbeats and taking in their unique smell. Eric had thought her altered scent odd and familiar but now he recognised it, they were the aromas of that magical realm that they had ended up in after they had shared blood. "I want to bring them to _our _home," he finally said looking up at her.

"Eric, I-"

"Without the day I only have half of their lives to enjoy Sookie," he explained while cutting of her protests. "I don't want to miss a single moment. We do not have to be lovers to live under the same roof. Unless that is something you would want."

"Is that something you want?" she asked in deflection unwilling to lay her heart out to be trampled on.

"I didn't think I would be the one needing to clarify that," Eric grinned as his hand found hers. "I want… You. The question really is do you want me?"

With events weighing heavy on her Sookie never was able to give him an answer to that question the same night but had agreed to let him into her and the babies' life. Her intended resistance lasted three nights before they found themselves satiated and tangled in bed. At first she blamed the pregnancy hormones but soon couldn't deny the residual feelings of love that had never waned from her system.

Her home became their home within a fortnight and Eric doted on her every step of the way. Gifts for the babies soon became gifts for her. It was after the twins' first birthday party that they had agreed on a code word spoken before sex when Niall suggested they get to making babies numbers three to six with a lewd gesture of an open fisted hand and the same saucy wink 'Nurse Sookie' had given Eric once. It didn't take them long to settle on the word that would instantly betray the prince of the fae.

Spaghetti.

**A/N: What once was meant to be a Thanksgiving Fixin' turned into a one shot that I ended up entering into Gyllene's HEA contest. It's called _Intervention,_ I've just added it to this site so feel free to check that out too.**


	7. Chapter 7

**#7**

Pam was bored. She was pretty used to that and she hated to admit that since the gash in the sundress had disappeared from their lives _that_ had become their new normal. They were ostentatiously rich but then they had been before that as well. As glad as Pam was to have her maker healthy and relatively alive she couldn't deny that life was dull. Extremely dull.

After feeding Sarah her dinner and taking her out for a tinkle in the back alley she locked up the basement tight and secure. The familiar sounds of the club thundered away above her as she made her way upstairs. She had to blink several times as she took in the displays of True Blood all around her. Eric was known to joke around on her but it would never be something that could be detrimental to their business. That shit was financial toxic waste in this day and age. She eyed her maker on the throne and he was looking slightly less puffy. Odd.

"Fuck a zombie." Pam's eyes went wide with realisation as she saw the Estonian dancer writhing on a pole in front of her maker. "I've reverted back to fucking season three. Well at least things still made sense then…"

It didn't take her long to convince her maker of her miraculous travels in time. The bond between them that had been stolen away from her was back again and the truth of her words couldn't be denied. They plotted and schemed for most of the night and Pam was near ecstatic with the prospects. Their assassin Ruben was immediately set to task to take out Steve and Sarah Newlin. It was with great reluctance on Pam's part, she'd miss combing the faux blonde's hair and taking her out for walks on her pretty pink rhinestone leash and the warmth she would provide her feet at the end of her bed.

While Eric was ready to go and murder Talbot and Russell for the second time he thankfully listened to Pam's wise words on how well that had turned out. So they went their separate ways, the Viking headed down to New Orleans to dispatch of their Queen with a careful toss of a sharpened wooden die during a game of Yahtzee after which he would contaminate her remains with a potent vial of HEP-V. Pam always carried a couple of spares of those and the antidote on her body, in case one of the clients exceeded their one minute limit with her little pet. A quick injection and the violators were right back to square one minus a hundred thou.

Pam found herself in Jackson, Mississippi, for some unfinished business of her own. Talbot was quite thankful for the Estonian dancer and her uniquely Baltic flavour. Well that's what Pam had said that unusual tang was. HEP-V had a bit of a caraway seed and herring flavour after all. She was conveniently absent the night that delicacy was served to the distinguished guests that included Bill Compton and that delightful maker of his. No Pam had other things to do that evening as she held her nose while hovering in front of the stinky were's apartment.

Sookie fucking Stackhouse was sniffling into her pillow over that stupid brooding vampire who had just broken up with her after cheating on her for the second time. Pam let out a heavy sigh for what she was about to do. She had promised her maker to try after all and she forgot how annoying Eric could be when the little fae was still denying access to that twinkle cave between her thighs. So she tapped incessantly on the thin sheet of glass sporting her most annoyed face.

"Pam?" Sookie said in shock as she opened up the window. "You can fly?"

"Well officially not until season six but the idiots in charge have never cared much for consistency either way," Pam shrugged. "Invite me in."

"Please come in Pam," Sookie whispered as she moved to the side, wiping away the last of her tears on the sleeves of her shirt. "Who are the idiots in charge?"

"Trust me you don't want to know them."

"Ok," she said wearily. "What can I do for you Pam?"

"It's more of a matter of what I can do for you Fairy Princess," Pam spoke with an uncharacteristic warmth. The female vampire ran her through the facts of what the telepath's life would be like if she intended to continue on and rescue Bill. At first Sookie didn't believe a word of it until Pam revealed intimate details of her past that Sookie had never shared with a soul except with an amnesiac version of Eric in the future. A small vial was placed in Sookie's hands along with a blueprint of the King of Mississippi's estate indicating the room where Bill Compton was held. "This is the antidote to HEP-V. The choice is yours Sookie Stackhouse by noon tomorrow morning Compton will be goo unless you wish to slip him that vile."

It wasn't much effort for Pam to fly in and kill that motherfucker Franklin Mott before he could harm another hair on her Tara's precious body. They cleaned off the blood stained sheets and Pam held her lost future progeny in her arms as tears of relief flooded from the girl's system when it became clear that vampire Barbie had come to rescue her.

It didn't surprise Pam at all to hear and scent Sookie Stackhouse entering the mansion moments after dawn. Or for her to make her way to where Bill rested. Pam carefully let go of a trembling Tara when a soft knock was heard on the door followed by Sookie's unmistakeable voice.

"So you saved Bill," Pam accused with judgemental brows when the empty vial was placed in her hands.

"No," Sookie answered as she moved to hold her best friend's quivering body in a comforting embrace. "I said my goodbyes after he admitted what he had done. You were right he wanted to die so I let him."

"So who'd you use the antidote on?"

"Yvetta," Sookie returned with a small shrug. "It's no wonder I saved you and your maker's asses so often in the future. You really thought they wouldn't trace that back to you. Alcide's waiting out back with a light tight truck. Are you ready to go?"

Eric slipped out of the authority's lair in the relative darkness of the early night ready to depart. The codes Pam had given him worked exactly as expected and with ease he had spiked the blood of Lilith with another potent helping of HEP-V. He had tried to reach out to Nora but she was unfortunately already lost to her fanaticism. He had given her a vial of the antidote where his only instructions had been to drink that when she was ready to follow Godric's path again. It was all he could do for now.

He landed by the red awning of the club, it was a Monday night so the usually glowing red neon lights were turned off as he made his way through the main entrance. Eric scented her before he saw her sitting on his throne in one of his white dress shirts which she had fashioned into a dress. Atop her head sat his father's crown, in the dim light of the room their eyes locked and with a mischievous grin two fingers beckoned him forward.

"Eric Northman," she said with a poorly hidden smile.

"How do you know my name?"

Pam emerged beside her on the throne and pointed at her forehead "I never forget a pretty face. You're in my vault."

"Great. That's just great," Eric said with a wink to Pam before he addressed Sookie. "It's nice to meet you."

"Well, aren't you sweet?"

"Not really," he replied with a debilitating grin.

Sookie turned to Pam and muttered something to her in what was supposed to pass as Swedish.

"Mr Northman, I understand you've been asking questions about me."

"Yes, I have," he acknowledged.

"If you have anything to ask, you should ask it of me," Sookie intoned.

"You recognize either one of these?" Eric enquired handing her over two pictures that lay around for approval of next year's calendar.

"Hmm…" she pointed to the picture of Bill, "well, this one offered himself to me. But I found him too pathetic for my attentions. Now, this one, however..." she continued pointing at the other photograph which featured a scantily clad Eric. "I have tasted."

"I remember 'em both," Pam quipped in.

"On account of the vault?" Eric asked with a wide grin.

"Never had either of them, though. They weren't really my type," she winked back.

"Well..." Eric started as he grabbed the photos from her hand. "Thank you very much. That is all your time I need to take."

"I'm not finished with you yet!" Sookie smiled. "Sit with us. We have catching up to do, you and I. It has been too long."

Eric feigned a tiny look of panic as he glanced to the spot where an undercover cop once stood. "We have to get out of here. There's about to be a raid."

"What kind of raid?" Sookie feigned unimpressed.

"A Viking raid," he said with excited eyes before speeding towards her and throwing Sookie's cackling body over his shoulder as he reasserted his father's crown as his own.

With a growl and a squeal the two enamoured blondes were launched into the night sky leaving behind a trail of destruction through the back hallways of Fangtasia and an amused Pam. She decided this was right, and this was best after all. A little excitement never hurt anybody. Well maybe some annoying vamps, but not them.

A bit of life returned to the female vampire's eyes as she picked up Tara's sleeping form from the office couch. "No human or vampire can hurt you any longer," she whispered into her sleeping ears as she tenderly tucked away the small braids of her hair. "Now you and I have a standing date and it's been a long time coming."

**A/N: I still entertaining requests/prompts for these fixin's. If they spark my imagination I'll write it and credit you. So if you have something in mind or simply have an idea for the identity of the mystery man at the head of the table or something else. Or simply rant about the final season… my associative brain picks up plenty of ideas from that alone, this one was inspired by the recycling of certain film footage...**


	8. Chapter 8

_A/N: This Thanksgiving Fixin' was inspired by Denis O'Hare's (who played Russell) suggested ending, which was a bad disco ending where all the cast of all seasons returned. I loved the concept although my initial inception of a campy glampy and vampy ending sort of morphed into something else._

_Little warning I followed canon quite closely on this so I had to be nice about certain people... just remember I'm not so nice about them in other fics so stop accusing me of being kind and forgiving to certain characters. ;)_

**#8**

The last of Sookie's guests had departed into the night while she cleared away the remnants of the gathering that had taken place. Her kitchen was a bomb site and as nice as it was for her new neighbour to deep fry the turkey she shuddered with the thought of having to clean the spilled grease all over her porch. Brett was a tough friend to sell to the rest of Bon Temps but it couldn't be helped that he had been the one to buy the repossessed Compton estate. Bill apparently forgot to mention that he was living off of advances of his next books that he never wrote and within weeks of his death Jessica was evicted without pardon. So Sookie always made sure to be extra nice and affectionate to the newcomer but the rest of the community had yet to warm to the softly spoken man.

A gust of wind swept at her thighs billowing the skirt of her dress, her mood instantly lifted with the sensation. "You're here!" she exclaimed with glee not expecting the sight of him this early.

Without words and an admonishing look he removed the stack of plates from her arms as she shyly looked away with the guilt over breaking the promise that she would not exert herself too much tonight. Eric pulled her into his arms wrapping his body round the two most important beating hearts in his life humming contentedly. "I made it out as fast as I could. I know tonight is important to you, it's not every year you celebrate Thanksgiving on Halloween night."

"Thank you," she smiled before demanding a hello kiss which she quickly received as did her bulging belly. "Remind me next time I'm pregnant to stop trying to rearrange holidays because the actual day is your scheduled C-section."

"I think I already told you this before," he smirked smugly. "Sorry I missed the dinner here but Halloween without vampires is like Christmas without Santa."

"I know," Sookie said with a small sigh as she followed him into their home. "But at least you made it for the party at Bellefleur's. Did you bring your costume?"

"I'm a vampire," Eric responded dryly. "This is my costume."

"Things are just that easy for you aren't they?"

"As long as they're easy with you," he smiled and placed a soft kiss to her forehead. "Ready to go?"

oOoOoOo

"Something's off," Sookie said as Eric helped her out of their car outside of Bellefleur's.

"Magic," Eric acknowledged while directing her to the entrance.

"Holly always says the veil between the living and the dead is the thinnest on Halloween."

Sookie grabbed onto Eric tightly when they entered in the smoky and dimly lit room. The reflections of the disco ball scattered around the room along to the sounds of the seventies. "I don't think we're in Kansas anymore," Eric grinned as they took in the people around them in full disco regalia. Mysteriously they too had changed into such costume once they had crossed the threshold.

"Eric look!" Sookie said with great excitement as she spotted a couple doing the hustle. The woman was breath-taking in her prime where Sookie had only ever seen the mature beauty of it. "It's Gran and…"

"Godric," Eric supplied in equal shock. In the excitement of their shared dance neither one noticed the blonde couple staring with the jaws hanging low at the sight before them but before neither one could utter a word before an ancient vampire had sidled in and stolen Sookie away for a dance.

"My my Ms Stackhouse I see you finally found your way to your Viking," Russell grinned with delight. "Little cardamom bun in the oven and all. Took you long enough."

"Well there were always these old and insane vampires trying to kill us all the time," she quipped back. "I see you have your Talbot back."

"Yes," he grinned following her gaze to the corner of the room where his progeny blew them both a kiss which Russell returned before dropping his voice to a whisper, "Please just don't tell him about Steve, such a tender heart my Talbot. We only just made up."

Sookie nodded in agreement and soon felt a strong hand resting on her shoulder, "Mind if I cut in?" a familiar husky voice spoke.

"Alcide," Sookie sighed as she turned around immediately falling into his familiar embrace. His bare chest was just as warm and comforting as she remembered but the body glitter was new. As was what could only be described as a pornstache. "I'm so sorry."

"Don't cry honeybun," he soothed. "It's all good. You got what you wanted. I'm happy you are where you are now. Even with Eric."

"But you died," she sobbed softly. "Because of me."

"Don't get me wrong," Alcide offered. "It was a shock to the system at first but I'm in a better place. I'm not worried about what I am anymore. I just am…"

"You're an angel," Sookie said with sudden realisation only taking in the white wings protruding from his back in that moment. She had vaguely taken in the feather halo over his head as a costume but now she saw he was the real deal.

"We prefer Guardians," he smirked. "Little more manly don't you think? I already put in the paperwork for the little one in there." In response to his declaration the baby inside her happily kicked through her stomach lining against the strong muscle of his hand.

"You were always too good for this world," Sookie sighed as her eyes travelled to a corner of the bar where she saw Eric happily reunite with his maker and vampire sister. By the looks of it the teasing of the soon to be father had already begun. Her eyes finally rested on a radiant brunette carrying similar, yet daintier, versions of the white feathered wings behind the slowly dancing shapes of Terry and Arlene. "Ava," Alcide informed with the face of a man who was clearly smitten. Sookie could only smile wide with recognition of what that meant for him before she was carried away by the persistent hand of her Gran.

They passed a table where Bill Compton sat with his wife and children eating a family meal. He sat at the head engaging the children into telling him a story. A brief look of recognition passed between Sookie and her first love and in that moment Sookie understood the man who sat there was one she had never got to meet. As much as he had tried he had never been this human with her. This was the man he had always sought and she had only ever seen glimpses off. Understanding resided between them as he gave her a small nod as his hand clasped over that of his wife's while Jessica, Hoyt and Maxine Fortenberry joined in at their table. Sookie smiled brightly at the sight and with a small wave disappeared from his view.

"Come on child," Gran encouraged when Sookie's eyes seemed to linger a little long on the small crowd that were living it up on the pool table. Lafayette, Jesus and Tara were surrounded by a writhing crowd grooving to 'Le Freak' as they were joined by Pam and Franklin Mott. Within seconds the latter was staked by the former. Her best friend gave her a wink and mouthed 'love you' before Gran carried her away through the heavy smoke to her final destination. Past the beaded curtains they descended into a sunken sofa where a tear stained Eric sat with a blonde couple and a young girl whose family resemblance could not be missed. "I thought it time we all met each other's family," Adele encouraged.

On the opposite couch sat her parents and grandfather Earl catching up with Jason, Bridgette and their kids. Eric reached for her hand pulling her into his lap as he introduced her to his parents.

"So this is the woman who managed to convince my son there was more to life than spending it between a women's thighs," Ulfrik jested.

"I fear there is little distracting him from that with this one," Godric said with a wink to Sookie as he joined them causing her to blush profusely in front of her parents in law.

"Don't listen to them," Astrid spoke kindly. "There is nothing more pleasing than to see my Eric so happy with a woman he can love. It is to our great pride that you carry forth our name as will this child. We never thought we would see the day that he would be happily hitched."

"Only took him a thousand years," Eric's father grumbled that was soon followed by a hearty laugh as he slapped his son's back good naturedly. "But I see why he waited so long, truly no other woman would ever be able to tame our boy like you have. Now he knows what it is to share your heart." With his last sentence a look travelled between him and his wife that spoke volumes to that testament.

Eric softly kissed Sookie's temple while rubbing his hand over the life that bound the people in this room together in acknowledgement of that statement. Much of the night was spent talking, remembering their shared pasts as an assortment of people came and went till the sun started calling to attention. Tears marred faces with the necessary goodbyes before they made their way through the emptied bar. Sookie squeezed Eric's hand as they looked upon the loved ones one last time in the space that spoke of the remnants of the party that had taken place. A few bodies rested their heavy heads in uncomfortable positions, near comatose with the intensity of the night. White powder sprinkled the floor among the scattered Polaroids portraying bright happy faces. The disco ball slowed to a halt as the last of the music died down. With the onset of silence Sookie and Eric reverted to the appearances they carried when they came in and the people waving them goodbye disappeared from view.

The ride home was silent as they tried to take in the unexpected experience. They hardly had a minute to spare before Eric had to speed down into the lower light tight level of their home. A quick kiss was shared before Sookie remembered she forgot her purse in the car. She found him ready and waiting for her in bed uploading all the pictures they had taken that night, thankful that the magic that had made the night possible could be registered in this manner. After freshening up and pulling on a nightgown she edged in beside him. He was staring at a photograph of his younger sister, a girl he only knew for mere months. Sookie closed the laptop and set it aside. She looked up at him as a look of understanding travelled between them both solving months of arguments as his hand rested atop the child that was restless inside her.

"Eyja," she offered.

A small tear travelled down his eye upon hearing the name of his sister spoken with such warmth for the first time in a thousand years. A name whose memory had haunted him for so long. He nodded and confirmed, "Eyja."


	9. Chapter 9

**#9**

"We can't keep doing this," he sighed as he languidly traced along the curve of the spine with his expert fingers. "It's not fair to me."

"I know," came the tired reply. "But this is too good. It's…"

"unlike anything else?" he finished with a soft kiss to the corner of the mouth.

"Yeah." The response was shy but all-encompassing of what travelled between them in these secret moments. "I didn't know it could be like this."

"I did," Eric countered with a debilitating smirk while brushing away stray hairs to uncover those deep dark brown eyes. "Always did, always will."

A deep exhale filled the silence in the room as lips started travelling all over his body, muscles rippling in the shade of the candle light and soon a firm hand encased his arousal. "I wish I knew how to quit you."

"Uncle Jason!"

"Huh." With the sudden startle Jason fell of the narrow bench he was sitting on as his two nieces tackled him with high pitched screams unleashing their freakishly strong hands on him as they engaged in their favourite activity of tickle monster. Per the precise instructions of their father they knew exactly where to attack, with an accuracy that had Jason flailing helplessly in the mud barely containing the contents of his bladder.

"Say UNCLE!" the two girls taunted with what Jason had termed the devil's own grins which were an exact match of their father's. One that had just manifested in the never ending dreams and had him weak at the knees with both generations of Northmans for different reasons.

"UNCLE, UNCLE," Jason wheezed out. With far too much superior smugness the two girls waggled their identical eyebrows in victory while carrying smiles that showed far too much teeth to be comfortable. Jason swore those sets of tiny incisors were sharpened.

While Jason took in the waning sun he gathered up the terrible twosome and their baby brother and directed everyone indoors. He hadn't given much thought what he would be thankful for this year but after looking after Sookie's kids all day he was definitely thankful to be free of them tonight. Mercifully Bridgette had arrived home and taken charge of the baby as they rushed out the door nearly leaving one of the twins behind.

"Did you survive alright Jase?" Sookie asked knowing he fully fell apart with the care of her kids. Before she could receive an answer she was already scolding Elin and Emmy for jumping down the cubby again when they were supposed to carefully use the ladder.

"How does he do it sis?" Jason asked pointing at the dark haired man cooking the turkey in a hot pot of oil on the porch.

"I don't know Jase, apparently there's a whole art to deep frying the bird."

"No I mean, how does he look after those kids without keeling over every day?"

"It's his job," Sookie shrugged while swatting away Jason's wandering fingers that were headed for one of her pies. "He's a nanny, when you're around kids long enough you don't think about it too much. Don't worry big brother you and Bridgette have 8 months to get used to it all. That's plenty of time to practice with our set of rugrats."

"Yeah right," Jason mumbled as his attentions diverted back to the baked offerings in front of him while Sookie waddled outdoors with another set of finished dishes.

"Good evening lover," Eric huskily whispered into the reddening shell of the ear while caressing a firm behind. "Miss me?"

"For fuck's sake!" Jason yelled at his brother in law. "Would you just quit it? I wish I never told you about those dreams."

"You said the f-word!" Emmy accused from her firmly wrapped position around one of her father's legs looking every bit like her mother. "I'm telling Pa-am!" she squealed while running off to do exactly that, leaving Jason to groan at the repercussions that would bring.

"Daddy why does Uncle Jason want to quit you?" Elin asked as she slightly lifted her tired head up from its resting spot on Eric's chest where he held her to his side.

"What makes you say that Prinsessan?" Eric asked his eldest daughter as he watched Jason squirm and redden further than he thought possible. "Was Uncle Jason saying weird things in his sleep again?"

"Yup," she replied popping the 'p'. The little girl beckoned her father's ear close before she started whispering rather loudly all the embarrassing things she had overheard Jason mumble in his daydream.

"Really," Eric leered at Jason as he took in the words his daughter spoke to him. Thankfully none of it was offensive enough for the girls to take issue with or take any understanding of for that matter. He kissed Elin softly on her forehead before setting her back on the floor and instructed, "Go help your mamma Prinsessan."

"As you see Jason it's very rewarding to be a good father," Eric said while wrapping his arm around his brother in law's shoulder who only proceeded to feel even more uncomfortable with the close touch. It was so entertaining to Eric he didn't even bother to check in with the blood tie. "But if you keep having these feelings you should really just be honest with Bridgette. _It's not fair to me."_

"Eric leave him alone," Sookie scolded upon taking in the familiar scene in her kitchen. "Jason, Pam is looking for you."

Her brother's Adam's apple bobbed with the gulp he swallowed before deciding Pam was the better option when it came to choosing between torment from her to that of her maker's.

"You're not lying to me about still feeding him your blood are you?" Sookie demanded after kissing Eric hello.

"_I'm_ not feeding him my blood," Eric replied honestly. "Can't lie to you with the bond anyhow." It just meant he was as creative with the truth like his fairy in-laws. So Pam drew a little blood and succeeded to spike Jason's drinks now and then, it didn't mean _he _was feeding Jason his blood. Sookie eyed him sceptically but decided to let it go as her mind became preoccupied with the elaborate preparations for the night.

"I still feel you're not telling me the whole truth," she said as he followed her out of the door carrying the last of the prepared dishes.

"All right, all right, I admit it I LIKE PINK! I FUCKING LOVE IT!" Jason screamed.

"Pamela Beaufort de Swynford you put him down right now!" Sookie warned as she took in the scene of her brother hanging from the tree like piñata as her two eldest girls whacked away at him with foam pool noodles and their super strength. Pam reluctantly let go of the rope that held Jason in a suspended position with a shrug. With a grunt Jason came crashing down on the soft ground where his nieces continued their assault.

"He said the F-word," Pam gave as a weak defence.

"Twice," Elin piped in halting her noodle attack for a mere moment for the occasion.

"Girls go inside and wash up," Sookie instructed sternly before her hard gaze fell upon Pam who twitched slightly with the scrutiny. "You're on clean up duty Pam."

"But Mo-om!" the female vampire whined, knowing exactly what kind of reaction that would cause. Indeed the telepath's head turned red with anger but instead of unleashing her own set of F-bombs she merely gave a look to Eric that held a clear directive.

"Pamela," he said sternly to which her hijinks immediately ceased. "Jason is not a toy."

"Ok," she pouted but as soon as Sookie's back was turned he gave her an approving wink.

"I felt that!" Sookie instantly accused while spinning on her heels. "Eric Northman you better not be encouraging this so help me god I will zap you!"

"Yes dear," Eric said meekly while Pam cackled loudly at her maker's submission before speeding away out of range. With that compliance Sookie marched back to the giant table to greet the first of their guests ignoring the disorder for the night.

Eric helped his brother in law off the ground steadying his slightly dazed form. "What are you feeding those kids man," Jason groaned as he tenderly rubbed at the multiple sore spots all over his body. "Like fu-… effing line-backers those two."

"Exactly the same thing we feed you," Eric grinned knowingly.

**A/N: The quote **_**'I wish I knew how to quit you'**_** is from Brokeback Mountain, because... well it felt like that whole scene was making a parody of that in my mind. Anyhow that belongs to Annie Proulx or the screenwriters who transformed that short story into a film.**


	10. Chapter 10

**# 10**

Sookie was exhausted from the night. It had been really nice of Lafayette and James to hire her the famous Turkey Fryer of the South for their dinner but it did leave her making everything else. She didn't have the heart to tell them no, when she really should have but it had been like that for a while now. Sookie would never regret saying yes to being their surrogate, the whole experience of pregnancy was amazing but it was exhausting. The constant touching of her belly was a nightmare for the telepath whose ability amplified with the contact. Then there were the questions. The constant questions about the baby daddy, because in the small minded community of Bon Temps it was more acceptable for some random man to have knocked up Sookie Stackhouse than for the token gay vampire couple to be having a baby. She tried to correct them constantly but their minds revealed it often enough, the two men could never equate to be capable fathers in anyone's mind. For once she had just stopped trying to fight everyone's assumptions on Thanksgiving and played right along that John Everyman was the baby's daddy. It was just easier that way.

This wasn't her idea of Thanksgiving anyhow, as nice as it had been not to fuss over a turkey it wasn't a true Stackhouse Thanksgiving without Adele's famous fried chicken. As she sat herself down in her Gran's comfortable reclining chair she groaned with the loss of that particular dish at the table that night as Jason had scoffed it up before she was able to get a single bite. Annoyingly indigestion caused her to taste the results of that deep fried monstrosity instead. That irksome and vain John Everyman just stole her damn seat at the head of the table leaving her the empty one next to it and her Southern manners couldn't politely excuse her from tasting the man's 'fine' product.

"I should have used the pregnancy card," she grumbled to herself while flailing a little to get up in search of some saltines. "Should have told them to have their own Thanksgiving feast while I was at it. Fucking John Everyman."

She sighed with relief when she located her sleeve of crackers even though it appeared Jason had struck again and had raided her special pregnancy stash leaving the top few to become stale. Her whole body was, however, extremely grateful as her upset baby and stomach quieted down with the salty injection.

"_Bed,"_ she thought to herself as she finally let fatigue overtake her _"Screw all the dishes that still need to go in the fridge." _As she neared the object of her desire promising a soft sleep it seemed Sookie was reminded how futile such thoughts were as fate took that moment to remind her just what a cruel bitch it truly was in the life of a fairy hybrid telepath while the phone rang for attention.

"Fucking hell," Sookie muttered softly to herself as she answered while taking in the late hour of the night.

"Well fucking hell to you too," the voice on the line tittered as her otherworldly senses had easily picked up her internal monologue. "You mind if I pitch that to Eric as our new greeting. It describes the atmosphere here so aptly."

"No," Sookie whined when she recognised the voice.

"You seriously mind?"

"What? No, I assume you're calling," Sookie exhaled rather audibly not really wishing to finish the sentence that would confirm that her selfless acts for the night were far from over, "about Niall?"

"Points for Tinkerbelle," Pam returned dryly. "The place has been closed for half an hour and he refuses to leave, you're going to have to come pick him up."

"No," she whimpered as the thought of reaching the comfort of her bed seemed to become more elusive by the minute. "Can't he just sleep it off in your dungeon or something?"

"Like I'd put my prize poodle at risk like that," Pam huffed out in protest. "Last time we tried that I found him dry humping Sarah while she screeched like a bitch in heat. Damn seductress, she's not allowed any pleasure by the guidelines of the AVL nor are we allowed to do anything but dispense her blood and you know how hard it is to keep that Fairy granddaddy away from her, even when I'm in the room."

"Pam I just can't ok," Sookie pleaded. She couldn't deal with this tonight. Niall's obsession with Sarah Newlin was getting out of hand. He was wasting away hundreds of thousands of dollars for her company spending minutes talking to her but never touching her under Pam's watchful eyes. When his money ran out for the night he would drink himself to misery on spaghetti spiked Bloody Marys. Till inevitably Sookie was sent to pick him up.

"I spent days slaving away on my feet, cooking and cleaning so everyone could have a perfect Thanksgiving when all I wanted was some fried chicken. I need to sleep those few hours that the baby isn't kicking my insides to pieces. Please can't he stay with you?" Sookie appealed once more.

"No."

"Please?"

"Hold on," Pam informed as the receiver went silent and a vague mumble of voices was heard in the background. Sookie beseeched to all known deities that the blonde vampiress would deal with Niall just this one time so she could get some rest. "Eric's on his way."

"What no!" she replied with horror at the thought. The house was a bomb site and she hadn't dared look at herself in the mirror but Sookie was pretty sure she looked far worse than the remnant mess of her enforced party.

"You know you should really use that word more often with the people around you instead of just with me and my maker."

"What?" Sookie asked in confusion as she wondered how quickly she could clean up the chaos that surrounded her.

"No," Pam clarified. "It really isn't that hard of a word. Look where it got you tonight. Did you ever tell any of those friends no?"

"No," she answered meekly.

"Good you're practicing," Pam preened with pride. "Life's a shit ton easier if you tell the right people to fuck off now and then."

"Can I still tell Eric _not_ to bring Niall here?"

"No," Pam intoned sotto voce. "With my maker's lead feet he's probably already halfway there."

"Oh," Sookie sighed with deflation. "All right, thanks for the advice Pam."

"Yeah, whatever," she returned. "I have to go feed Sarah and take her out for a walk. See you in fucking hell."

"Well fucking hell to you too," Sookie greeted back in return to the dial tone. She pulled the red quilt from the couch and decided to wait outside on the porch swing hoping that would stop Eric from entering the disarray that was her home. It didn't take long for her drive to light up with the beams coming from the luxury two-seater. She waddled down the porch to greet them with a small wave. The nausea that she had only so shortly tampered down unfortunately chose that moment to release itself as she took in the rank odours of Niall. While she had prided herself in projecting away from the car she hadn't calculated that to be the path where a concerned Eric suddenly stood.

"Oh my god," she screeched out in horror as she took in the contents of her dinner painted all over Eric's chest. Forgetting all about the state of her home she urged him inside to clean up. Eric insisted for her to take it easy by carrying Niall in after dispensing his soiled shirt. It was an odd sight, mostly because the image of him reminded Sookie of the man she was once picked up from the side of the road when he was walking shirtless with no memories. Just in jeans, just like now. Eric took little offense when Sookie apologised for the mess as he gently deposited the fairy prince on her sofa. Sookie covered him with the quilt and offered Eric the use of her shower and the clothes he had once worn.

It was a bitter pill to swallow for Sookie when Eric emerged all cleaned up in his basketball shorts and sleeveless hooded shirt. Even his hair flopped around without the usual products in place. She was nervously trying to stow away all the messes when he stilled her hands.

"Sookie let me?" he offered. Despite her lessons with Pam to use the word no more in her vocabulary for the first time that night she found there was no desire to express that particular word to Eric. She gave a brief nod at which he guided her to a chair before he set to put away the last of the dishes.

"Thank you Eric," Sookie said with melancholic eyes as she remembered the domestic bliss those amnesia days had been. On some level it felt cruel to be visually reminded of it in such a detailed representation now, but for the first time that night she was truly thankful for something.

oOoOoOo

Sookie woke to familiar cooking smells, ones which she never thought to experience again unless she created them herself. She couldn't remember how she had ended up in her bed but the modest amount of sleep she had been gifted with had been a godsend. As she emerged from her bedroom she was shocked to discover the whole house had been put to right again, not a surface was left untouched by cleaning products. High handed but oh so welcome for once. The only evidence of the hell that was her previous night was the sight of her grandfather contentedly sleeping on her sofa mumbling Sarah's name now and then.

She was perplexed at the sight of Eric still in his borrowed attire standing in her kitchen preparing her grandmother's famous fried chicken while carefully studying her Gran's recipe cards.

"What are you doing?"

"Cooking," he answered simply.

"I see that," Sookie acknowledged. "Why?"

"I remember you told me about this holiday when I stayed here. That the thing you liked most was that your grandmother would always keep a batch of fried chicken behind that you would eat together for breakfast the next morning," Eric explained. "There were none to be found."

"You didn't have to do that," she said touched as tears started staining her eyes. Pregnancy or Eric induced, she wasn't quite sure. Sookie realised she didn't have any chicken left in the fridge which meant that aside from cleaning her whole house he had gone out and miraculously procured it on Thanksgiving. "Why?"

"You really have to ask me why?" he said tersely as the last of the chicken was set to drain of its fat. "Isn't it obvious? Why I continue to live in Shreveport when I can afford to be anywhere in the world? Why I continue to run a nightclub I despise? For fuck's sake… Why I allow your grandfather to pay his way with Monopoly money night upon night?"

"Why?" she whispered.

"The vampire is a good man and he loves you," Niall bellowed from the sofa before falling back to sleep again. Sookie's eyes pleaded to his for confirmation of the statement that seemed so unceremoniously thrown into the room.

"Because I came here without a thought or a cent to my name and I all I desired in that moment was you. Simply to love you," Eric offered in explanation as he brushed away the tears that were staining her face. "I'd trade everything I have just to experience that again. For it to last beyond a few nights."

"Why didn't you ever say anything?"

"You might have said no," he confessed softly revealing the insecurity that had marked his personality so strongly back then.

"Well apparently I have difficulty using that word," she said with a small smile as she leaned into him. "Just ask Pam. Then ask me. Make me an offer I can't refuse, give me a reason to never want to utter the word no again when it comes to you."

His mouth hovered just above hers, the words came deep from his throat with a husky rasp, "Be mine?"

Her lips answered as they both decided words were superfluous and always would be between them. Their bodies communicated far better than anything else ever would as the tentative touch of the lips deepened to a desperate kiss. Strong and urgent but always honest.

Niall's head rose from the sofa as he took in the lovers disentangling from their intimate embrace. A smile was plastered upon both their faces as they completely forgot the regal presence in the living room.

"Does this mean I get to be with Sarah now?" he enquired, bursting them from their contented bubble.

"NO!" they barked as a united front. Niall gave a small pout and pretended to be extremely disheartened as he sank back into the sofa. However, a mischievous grin encompassed his face as he texted his blonde vampiric partner in crime that it had been a complete success and that he would now be holding her to that three-way in hell.

**A/N: Thanks to violetsdream for suggesting Sookie be the surrogate for Lafayette and James' baby and beardy nobody to just be a nobody. And thanks for VAlady for reminding me of book Niall's infamous line. **

**Just to prove how much of an impact James made on me… #trueconfession I started this piece three times before having to look up his name and getting utterly distracted with other things… but thankfully I found inspiration for another piece involving Six Flags in the process…**

**Promts/suggestions/requests still welcome and entertained ;)**


	11. Chapter 11

_A/N: This is another 'how the hell did that happen?'_

**#11**

"Give it back you giant freak!" she wheezed out with her effort to regain the controller.

"No," he taunted while holding the object of her desire from her with his height advantage.

"Please?" she asked batting her eyelashes that had him weak at the knees with the sight.

"How about a trade?" Eric leered with a flicker of his tongue across his top lip.

"I'm not showing you my boobs asshole!"

"No need," he grinned lasciviously. "I already have quite the view from above."

Sookie gasped in horror as her hands desperately clambered to obstruct the enticing sight and retain the dignity her grandmother had always instilled in her. "What do you wanna trade then? Because I'm piss poor."

"A kiss."

"No."

"Why not?" he asked as a finger trailed over the bare expanse of her skin. "You know it would be good."

"You know why," she returned pointedly.

"You had no objections when it was on the screen."

"That was different," Sookie replied shyly.

"How?"

"It just is ok," she pouted. "Just give it back please? Why do you always have to make the sheriff all evil anyway?"

"Because I'm the Big Bad," he exclaimed with glee.

"Wrong show, Eric."

"We're both fucking blonde and we're both evil so who cares," Eric teased back.

"You're not evil," she denied. "You just pretend to be."

"What do you know about it," he returned defensively not all too happy with the change of tone.

"I used to think you were made of cold hard stone, Eric Northman," Sookie said with soft eyes that always seemed to haunt him in his dreams. "You feel."

He gave a derisive snort in an attempt to deny her statement but finally gave in and handed the game controller back to her, though still reluctant to let go. "I'll give it back if you promise to kill Bill," he proposed with his hands still firmly in control of the device. "I'll even give you my stake since you used yours up on killing that Warlow."

"No!" she exclaimed incensed. "I like him he's noble and sweet. And so human, they're supposed to end up together."

"Right," Eric expressed sternly, the thought disgusting him thoroughly. "I'm crushing this controller because that's not how it's supposed to end." There was no way he was going to allow the Sookie character to end up with the fucktard they had named after the spine-chilling neighbour from across the street. Eric had caught the perverted asshole sneaking a peek over the fence whenever Sookie sunbathed in the backyard more than once. Granted Eric did much of the same but at least they resided in the same age bracket.

"No!" Sookie shrieked with the thought of Eric's real threat in destroying the controller. "I'll give you a peck."

"And no more Billshit."

"Fine," she huffed before brushing his cheeks quickly with her trembling lips. "But you stay away from that Sylvie."

"She's dead already," he shrugged without a hint of remorse. "Like I'd let those Yakuza fucks kill my fuck awesome sidekick Pam."

"You think my brother and your sister are doing the same thing as us?" Sookie pondered aloud.

"Play this retarded game? Fuck no, if I know my sister she's directing your brother to the finest carpets Sweden has to offer while offering expert tips on how to munch away at them."

"Eric!" she cried out as her cheeks tinted a bright red with the mere idea.

His head turned to the side taking in the enticing sight. "Now if you let me have a go on you, _that_ would be exactly what you'd be screaming. Why don't you just allow me to uncover that rug," he leered while his hand trailed over the bare skin of her thighs.

"You're gross," she squawked out unconvincingly as her body flushed with further embarrassment but somewhere she found her wits to hijack his controller. "Ha," she yelled in triumph. "Now you have Hep-V!"

"For fuck's sake… Thanks a lot Sookie!" Eric growled out with annoyance as he grasped his controller back. "Fucking hell, I'm paralyzed for months."

"Just play with the Pam character," Sookie encouraged. "Do you have to keep using the f-word?"

"Unless you're offering the act, yes."

"You're so gross."

"Only for Sookie," he said throatily while caressing the small of her back.

"Stop!" she returned unconvincingly. "You're distracting me… No! Alcide!"

"Well that solves that problem," Eric returned dryly as he tossed over a doggy treat to the white husky in the corner of the room carrying the same name. "How long do we have to play this game?" he moaned. "We both know how this ends."

"And how's that?" she asked while her tongue darted out in renewed concentration.

"You, me, a great big bed where you happily writhe underneath me as I initiate you into ecstasy," he intoned evenly before transforming his voice to a particularly high pitched version as his own hands exaggeratedly caressed his body, "Oh! Eric!"

"HUSH!" Sookie squealed out wile clamping her hand over his mouth to which his tongue immediately ran out to lick at her fingers sensuously. "ERIC!"

"Yes, exactly like that," he taunted while she fought his wondering hands off.

"No! Now I have Hep-V too!"

"Ha ha! You're going to infect Bill!"

"No," Sookie pouted. "How are they going to have their happily ever after?"

"Call in the fairy prince. He'll do anything for spaghetti."

"I want to start over Eric," she whined. "And this time I get to pick the names. My first love can't be Creepy Compton from across the street. There's no way they can live happily Hep-V ever after, plus I accidentally killed Alcide. I kinda liked him…"

"Here," Eric sighed while taking the controller and pulling up her inventory screen. "Look you still have plenty of boosters and that supernova."

"But Hep-V"

"I'll find the cure with Pam. Look she already found me in some wine cellar," he offered hoping to finish the game as soon as possible. "I need it for the Viking too."

"Ok," Sookie agreed half-heartedly. "But what do I do about Arlene, Holly and Jane Bodehouse?"

"I'll come and help you."

"Thanks," she smiled with a sideways glance. "Hey Eric, you want a drink?"

"Sure," he replied and as soon as her back was turned he un-paused the game and rapidly set his fingers to work to Sookie's controller.

"Eric! What did you do?" Sookie said horrified as she returned with the tray of drinks.

"Come on we look good together," he said smugly as the Sookie and Eric characters were reunited on screen. "Look all your hearts are fully filled."

"Stop it," she admonished retaking her controller. "Just help me save these people from Bon Temps, otherwise I won't make it to the next level."

"Fine," he sighed with a hint of dejection. "Fucking Bill. Why does he get to knock down the door? Asshole."

"Be nice."

"Aren't I always nice?" he mocked. "Look what we can achieve if we work together. You only seem to get everyone killed with that douchey Bill."

"It's not his fault he had a terrible maker." Eric merely scoffed at that as she continued to ignore his disgruntled demeanour. "Darnit Arlene, don't give up on me. I'm not gonna make this level if you don't live."

"Whatever you want Willa, there you're released. I only turned you for the maker points."

"You're such a cold hearted bastard."

"Cold hearted bastard who now knows exactly where to find Sarah Newlin," he returned triumphantly.

"Whatever."

"Shit the fucking Yakuza again," Eric groaned. "I thought we were done with those fuckers."

"They're after Sarah Newlin too?" Sookie asked momentarily distracted from her own play on the split screen.

"Hey they're my new allies! Look I'm cured!"

"Oh my God!" Sookie cried out and without a thought hugged him tight, his leering appraisal had her instantly letting go. Her embarrassment became apparent as she mumbled a sorry while pulling away.

"Niall totally wasted my time," she muttered trying to distract from the awkwardness she had created.

"Bring Bill to me, then we can get him cured," Eric instructed. "No! You need to sneak him in. Why would you come on your own through the front door?"

"You said to go to Fangtasia," she replied testily. "Hey I'm no fangbanger Mr Gus!"

"Really?" Eric questioned with a quirked brow.

"Two vampires does not a fangbanger make."

"Three including Warlow."

"That was a bonus level. Besides he was a faepire so it so doesn't count," she tried to justify.

"If you say so."

"Argh!" Sookie exclaimed pushing at all the different buttons with frustration. "Bill won't drink the cure."

"Let me try."

"You slapped him!" she shrieked. "Give it back!"

"Change to the Jessica character. Anything?"

"No she can only be released."

"That's not right she's already been released," Eric scrutinised.

"You think it's a glitch in the game?"

"Try it. Releasing Willa gave me shit ton of extra bonus points."

"Ok," Sookie returned. "Nothing."

"Strange," Eric mused taking in her side of the screen. "Fuck not again! Pam you are the worst child ever! How many times are you going to let little Japanese men catch you! Sorry Sookie expect an upcoming visit from the Japanese."

"I can't have that. I'm trying to save Bill!"

"Leave him to die, he doesn't want to be saved."

"ERIC!"

"Here," he said in offering after a quick succession of moves she couldn't follow. "Look he's going to 'call' on you. Now just let my character fly you home so we can finish up this level."

"Hey that looks like fun," she smiled.

"Told you we're good together. Let's just finish the game here."

"I want to finish the final level," Sookie moaned while jutting out her bottom lip that made him give in to her every demand.

"Fine," he sighed. Again. "Just click through the Bill dialogues if you let him ramble on like that he's just going to turn to goo out of sheer self-importance."

"I like his accent."

Eric could only roll his eyes at her moon eyed gaze for the annoying Civil War veteran as he speedily ran through his final level. "Ha! Take that Yakuza, New Blood is mine!"

"Hey, you won."

He merely shrugged as they watched the Viking sheriff happily bop his head on screen.

"Bill wants me to kill him with my fairy light," Sookie voiced with confusion.

"Just stake the bastard," Eric proposed in exasperation as his lanky form fell to the back of the sofa.

"No that's not very loving. Maybe my fairy light will make him human."

"Whatever, just get it done. I'm so over this game."

"Eric I can't. I'll lose all my fairy points."

"Use the shovel!" he said pointing to the item onscreen.

"I don't want to do this," Sookie whimpered as her eyes were becoming wet with tears after she fashioned a stake out of the shovel.

"You want me to do it?" Eric asked softly his hands reaching tentatively over hers on the controller.

"No," she returned moving her hands away from his. "I'll do it." Her eyes squeezed shut tightly as she pressed the button that turned Bill into a satisfying splat. "What the fuck? Game Over? But I did everything they asked. I saved Bill."

"Told you, Sookie needs to end up with Eric."

"That can't be right," she whispered as her bottom lip threatened to quiver with oncoming tears. He moved in closer gently, his arms surrounding hers as he released her tight grip on the controller while his face encroached to hers. "Eric what are you doing?"

"Getting the right ending," he breathed out against her lips.

"Stop playing," Sookie protested meekly moving her body away from him into the soft couch but his body only followed hers in her futile attempt to escape, his approach effectively caging her in.

"I'm not playing," he said leaning in for a kiss but leaving her to close the final gap.

"I thought you were just playing me. Like everyone else."

"I'm not. You're the only one I don't want to play with," Eric spoke throatily and when the tip of her tongue jutted out to wet her lips in anticipation he moved in claiming her lips as his own. Slowly but steadily she let him in and what started chaste deepened as tongues explored the feel of one another in a soft embrace while a hardened groin started to seek a welcoming centre between her thighs, moving them both to a steady rising heat.

"Oh my gosh," she whispered with a smile that rivalled his as they both sought out air, neither one all too fond of the distance between their mouths. His lips continued to trail down her throat as her eyes travelled up with the sheer sensation. "Oh my God!" Sookie shrieked as she caught sight of Creepy Compton rubbing away furiously at the pathetic piece of flesh dangling between his legs as he hid behind the glass of the bay window, holding what could only be described as a constipated expression.

"What?"

"Mr. Compton!"

Eric moved off of her instantly as Sookie thrust her Gran's shotgun into his hands that she had resourcefully retrieved from its hiding place underneath the couch. "Hold him off!"

"Where are you going?" he asked with confusion as he aimed the barrel at the intruding neighbour who finally caught on to his predicament holding his hands up in the air.

"Getting the fucking shovel!"

…

…

…

**A/N: As some of you may have noticed I've been a little remiss in my usual updating schedule on my other stories these past few days. I've been sick, I woke up Saturday morning with a disturbing pain in my abdomen and a pounding headache to match. I know what it is, I have it once every other year if I'm lucky and I'm pretty much doubled over in pain for about 48 hrs, of which I have about 12 left to go. I'm taking it to mean that I need to slow down a little, listen to my body and take a rest. I contemplated putting out unedited chapters but I rather you wait for the coherent thing. So for the upcoming week I ask you to be patient, I'll get to editing when I can. This fixin' was ready to go so I figured it was a nice offer to end the week in lieu of new chapters.**


	12. Chapter 12

_A/N: VictoryInTrouble described this instalment as 'Hilarious yet poignant' over on the WordPress site. It gets a little on the serious side near the end. This fixin' was inspired by Sookie and Bill's conversation in early season 7 where Bill admitted he never quite got to make it to a certain theme park. Bonus points for anyone who catches the Dexter reference…_

**#12**

"Pamela just find the damn jar already!" Eric growled out impatiently.

"I'm looking alright!" she snapped back. "Fucking Ginger, leaving me to deal with this mess."

"Where did she go?" Eric asked as it was the first time he realised that the eternal piece of chewed out gum to his shoe seemed to be missing that night.

"She left a note," Pam returned dismissively. "Something about leaving on a high note and becoming a lumberjack. Here." She thrust the elaborate crystal jar into his waiting hands.

"Finally," he grumbled out. "All the arrangements are set?"

"Yes, Master," Pam returned sardonically with a roll of her eyes but by the time they settled back to their normal stance he had already disappeared from view.

oOoOoOo

"You're here quick," Sookie noted as she threw open the door only just freshly showered from the remnants of Bill goo. "Thanks for coming. Please come in."

"I got your messages," he said while handing over the jar that once held Talbot's remains to which Bill had now been carefully tipped into. "I just don't understand why you wish to take 'Bill' to Dallas."

"Bill never got to go to Six Flags," she spoke casually over her shoulder as he followed her into the house. "Hoyt and Jessica liked the idea of going back there for their honeymoon, it all started there for them. It just made sense in the moment. Have you been?"

"Pam made me go once," Eric acknowledged of the theme park. "There was an eatery called Pink Things she wanted to go to, so we ended up dining there."

"You don't eat," Sookie said in confusion before it dawned on her what dining meant to him. "Oh."

Pam had been impeccable with her arrangements and it made Eric wonder why he had allowed her to delegate everything to Ginger all these years and he sent a little prayer to the poor bearded lumberjacks who were now stuck with her. Hoyt and Jessica were ecstatic in their discovery of the park and its rides, though Sookie clearly remembered Hoyt's presence the one time she had visited Six Flags. Jessica's glamour had apparently eradicated that memory too, most likely since it was so intrinsically linked to Jason. She didn't give it much thought as she didn't feel like begrudging them a whole host of firsts.

Like Bill, Jessica had never got to go to the famous theme park and was insistent on riding all the rides with childish glee. Eric reluctantly paid for all the morbid photos of the three of them clutching onto the Jar-o-Bill with giant smiles as he sat out most of the rides. For a vampire who could fly at dazzling speeds there was little thrill in such things. Added to that there was much to contemplate with his newfound lease on life.

Sookie too had to admit that since Eric had taken her for that short flight in Bon Temps there was little fun to be had here. In comparison to her teenage memories she found little joy of what once was there. She left the newlyweds to seek out Eric instead when they insisted on repeating the latest ride.

"Hey," she greeted softly before sitting beside him on the lonely bench he had been occupying with his thoughts.

"Having fun?"

"Not really," she confessed to which he remained silent and merely observed her with a sideways glance. "Just different when you come somewhere for the second time round."

"I know what you mean," he returned with a small sigh which made her look at the company beside her more closely. It revealed the face of a man who once knelt on a rooftop not too far away from where they were sitting now.

"Eric, I didn't think," Sookie gasped with realisation as she reached for his hand, offering the same comfort she had in the moments before his maker met his end. "I'm so sorry. My god, I even demanded we stayed at the same hotel. I'm a horrible person."

"You're not," Eric offered knowingly as he ran his free hand soothingly over her cheek. "You're just grieving. Makes you forget the people around you sometimes."

"No," she whispered. "I've been weighed down by guilt. I thought coming here would make things right. Fix things somehow."

"Take a bit of advice from an old man Sookie," Eric smirked as she scooted herself closer to him. "Only by becoming a maker can you personally circumvent the certainty of death. For the rest we just have to lay back and sit out the ride. It's not always up to us. People you love leave."

"I don't know if I can accept that," she sniffed as a treacherous tear travelled down her face. "He didn't have to leave, I did everything in my power to make him stay. I did things with him I vowed never to do again. I slept with him. All in a plea to keep him here." Eric's brow quirked slightly with that, though it merely confirmed an assumption but the disgust in her voice put their renewed relations in a new light to him. "I stopped being me for him. I nearly gave up everything that made me who I am for him. I couldn't deal with the thought of losing one more. I'm just so sick of everyone dying."

Eric continued his silence and merely wiped away at the tears before they were given a chance to fall. "It's what you did for me isn't it?" she suddenly said while observing the care in his eyes when the quiet lasted too long. "You stopped being you for me, doing everything to keep me safe. And in the end you laid back and sat out the ride. Why?"

"I hope I would," he recited from a long lost memory which had them as physically close as they were now. "I I hope I will. 'Cause that day's gonna come, and I wanna be still feeling this, now. I want to so, so bad."

"You held out for hope?"

"Hope's a bitch," he acknowledged regretfully. "I wanted to keep on feeling what I felt then. What you felt for me. What I feel whenever you're around. Even when you don't. I'm sorry I'm not ready to let go."

"By Bill's logic the noble thing to do right now, would be for me to kill myself," she said with a small sigh as the strain that held her tense shoulders fell.

"It's a good thing I never fell in love with Bill then," he jested which finally allowed her to crack a smile.

"I thought you two had a bit of a fling at the authority," she joked back.

"The closest we came was fooling around in the trunk of a car before our impending deaths," Eric smirked. "It was a very brief bromance that I desperately wish to forget."

"Seems all of Bill's relationships were short lived," Sookie noted more seriously. "Ours too for that matter." He simply nodded in agreement as their hands intertwined with the thought of that loss.

"Want to go for a ride?"

"I don't know if I'm ready for that yet. _With you_," she said alluding to a different kind of ride than he was initially offering, her hand, however, remained unwilling to let go of his when he tried to break the intimate connection in accordance with her statement. "But I'll take a tour of the night sky."

"What about Jessica and Hoyt?"

"They're still blinded by newfound love," she shrugged. "Won't even notice that we're gone."

A secluded spot was found where Eric proceeded to pick her up bridal style and launched them into the night sky. It was a more impressive sight than Bon Temps due to the sheer amount of lights in the metropolitan area. When dawn neared a familiar rooftop greeted them while descending down.

"You know I wasn't ready to let go either," Sookie offered to the stoically silent vampire next to her who looked down at her curiously, temporarily removing his gaze from the ledge where Godric last stood. "I could let go of my Gran, Alcide and even Bill. But I couldn't let go of my light. You know why?"

"Why?" he repeated softly.

"You made me see there was more to me," she explained. "A side of me left completely unexplored."

"Fairy Sookie," he acknowledged. "I like her."

"Me too," she agreed. "I believe you once said she has a warrior's heart."

"That's all of you. You gave comfort to a wounded man you barely knew more than once," Eric voiced with a slight strain. "Your compassion is your greatest gift. My maker would not have found joy in the end if it weren't for you. Peace. I don't know what his death looked like but I felt it. I felt your presence in him and he was happy in passing."

"I wanted to go to you after, offer you word of comfort," Sookie admitted after explaining the beauty of Godric's death. It made her realise in what stark contrast it stood to Bill's demise. One fell to darkness while the other found light. "I even dreamt about it. I blamed your blood at the time but now I think it was merely my subconscious."

"Guilt," he said in recognition. "Still feel it for Bill?"

"No," she exhaled with a slight sense of relief. "He wasn't like Godric. Your maker was selfless, wanted better for this world. I can't agree with him that it's better without him, but to him it is. Somehow I can respect that. Godric knew what he was, a creature of darkness and he took the accountability. Bill wanted to be human again. He thought he could find it through me but instead a disease granted him that. Not me, he was selfish with his refusal of the cure. It returned him to mortality. That's what he was seeking all along."

"An end."

Sookie nodded as her hand squeezed his cool one as it had yet to leave the initial grasp of earlier that night. "Is that what you feel around me?" she asked with a hint of insecurity. "A chance at redemption, the path to your end? What _you_ are unable to let go."

"No," he answered firmly while staring her down intently. "I told you what I wanted once before."

"_Everything_," she paraphrased reminding herself of the arrogant and presumptuous Eric she met shortly after her return from Faery.

"No," he repeated sternly, reminding her of the plea from the man without his memories. "_Forever_."

"There's no such thing as forever. Everything ends."

"I can't accept that."

Before she could protest that claim his mouth was pressing on hers, waiting for her to speak or reciprocate. Demanding a definitive decision from her. Hesitation hung heavy between them before her body moulded into his as Sookie decided she wasn't one to accept that either. Never would, never could. They were the lone survivors that stuck out the fight when everyone else abandoned the battlefield. Warriors by hand and by heart. The ones that never could say goodbye, fighting till the end. Only in a moment of defeat by an equal foe would death come, in standing on that rooftop together they recognised that unparalleled adversary in the other. She finally understood what he meant. Everything. Forever.

One set of lips explored the feel of the other, hands finally let go of each other in respite to rediscover a once familiar body to deepen an ignited kiss. Cupping, caressing and simply holding for fear that this might be taken from them again. Only the warning of an encroaching sun forced them apart along with a gasp for breath.

This time instead of staying behind to watch the sun rise she followed him down the set of metal stairs. He hesitated slightly in front of his hotel room door, not quite sure whether she would follow him in. In attempt to stall possible rejection he asked, "What were you planning to say to me in comfort when my maker passed?"

Sookie rested her hand atop his cautious one over the engaged doorknob that merely needed a push to allow entrance into the room. She gave a nudge that had them both moving over the threshold while her gaze looked upon his vulnerable one as she offered, "Sometimes an end is merely a beginning."

**A/N: I am still feeling a little under the weather but seeing as these Fixin's are behind the scheduling on the blog it is little effort to upload them here. I'm thinking the earliest I update on my other stories will be from the beginning of next week. Thanks for all the well wishes (it really isn't all that dire just your average malady) and I'll get to answering reviews an PM's sometime next week as well, I know I am woefully behind on those. Hopefully I'll release another Fixin' sometime this week.**

**Please check out Sephrenia's Writing Challenge on the dedicated WordPress site, it's where I started and three great new banners are up and I encourage anyone with aspirations to write to participate. To my great surprise I won last time with In Memorium and I was a complete novice at the time without any works published and it was a great experience to receive such encouragement. The submitted works will be up from the beginning of October. **


	13. Chapter 13

**#13**

"Leave me alone, I can do it!" the blonde vampire snapped at Jason who was precariously watching over the melee that was Pam in her movements around the infant girl.

"You have to take the flap and then… I think," he tried to explain although the confusion was clearly written all over his face as his nails scratched at his head revealing he lacked any insight to the process.

"You're supposed to be the father?" she drawled out with a heightened frown as her hands moved at preternatural speeds that his mortal eyes could barely follow. "Some things never change in a century." With an exaggerated roll of the eyes she thrust the soiled diaper and used baby wipes into his hands as if it were toxic waste, it was accompanied by a look that indicated he better dispose of it in at least a 500 yard range. With hesitance Jason left the blonde vampire behind with his youngest daughter as he wordlessly followed her orders. In Pam's opinion a little glamour never hurt anyone. Ginger had only seemed to improve with it.

The female vampire looked the baby over suspiciously for any residual filth before taking off her gasmask and rubber gloves. It was only through Sookie's intervention that she hadn't been allowed to wear her intended hazmat suit. "Get used to it," Pam grumbled to herself as she recited the words her maker had spoken to her. "Get used to it _Pam,_" the vampiress repeated for accuracy. "Never do they say 'Get used to it Willa'. Because Willa is little Miss Perfection. Never done a thing wrong her entire life. Miss Goody Two-shoes been babysitting poopshits like you since the age of thirteen. Evil bitch."

For extra precaution Pam doused herself in hand sanitizer as she had heard humans speak of this thing called cooties that she refused to catch. "Can you imagine that Marie, I have to get used to the likes of you because my maker is having one. Little smelly teacups."

The blonde babe merely stared at the strange lady with the unmoving face, annoyed with her lack of responsiveness Pam hissed and threw out her fangs in demonstration of the superior race. Instead of the usual scamper and fright baby Marie merely giggled and blew bubbles with the drool upon her lips.

"You're okay I guess," Pam mused regarding the possible accessory as she prodded at the tiny belly button. "A few extensions, a better wardrobe… it could work. You don't smell as bad as the other tiny humans. Just need to figure out how to stop you from leaking from every hole."

With careful scrutiny she observed the instructions on the bag of diapers taking in the diagrams step by step. "The best defence against diaper rash is a dry bottom, achieved through regular diaper checks and changes," Pam read aloud. "What the fuck is air drying?" she scoffed before growling to the wide eyed girl, "Stay!" If only to spook the vampire further the giggles had now turned into full blown laughs.

"Who the fuck is going to wait on a baby to dry in the air," Pam mumbled dismissively as she plugged in her travel blow dryer and set to dry the child's behind in a much more efficient manner. "Idiots."

"Petroleum jelly?" she questioned as she took in the proceeding step. "We'll leave that toxic shit for the twat lips of the world," Pam cooed in a tone that frightened her to another death with the mere knowledge that she possessed it. She stuck a carefully manicured finger to her descended fangs and proceeded to rub her healing blood over the inflamed bottom. When she was satisfied all was rehabilitated she wiped away the remnants of blood to admire her handiwork. "You're going to need a shapely ass if you ever want to make it out of this hellhole, not like your stupid aunt Sookie who sucks everyone in with her magic fairy cunt. Now say thank you to Auntie Pam for helping mini-me to break out of this shithole."

A mere look of curiosity was given in return at which Pam decided to just continue by placing a new diaper underneath her bottom. "Right little bears on the top," she mumbled to herself remembering the instructions while Marie's little legs started flaying about restlessly with the vampire's cool touch on her skin. "Be still!" Pam demanded to little effect as she tried hopelessly to stick the side tabs in place.

"There," she announced proudly to the prattling infant as the final step was completed. "It's not as hard as everyone makes it out to be." However, all pride in her achievement was soon lost when she lifted Marie by the waist and the diaper fell apart and back onto the commode.

"Fuck it!" Pam declared as she grabbed the roll of duct tape from her designer purse. "This is usually for twat lips and her incessant whining," she explained with all seriousness to the wondering bulging eyes of the child whose hands reached up towards the new shiny item that dangled in front of her. "But it'll do for this, don't move."

With discerning scrutiny Pam finally released the roll of tape before she carefully tested the hold of the tightly wrapped diaper to her satisfaction. "Silver's not your colour," she commented. "Lucky you, you're an autumn type like me, which means we get to wear pink and reds." Pleased with this information Pam started contemplating which outfits in her wardrobe she would have replicated in miniature size.

"Seriously is there anything in this town that doesn't come from Walmart," the blonde vampire growled with revulsion as she took in the intended outfit for the night. "Poly-blend? Honestly do they want to see you choke to death before your first birthday? Idiots. Fuck it."

"Fuh-"

"Can you say that mini me? Fuck it," Pam tried engaging the baby in speech again. "Fuuuuuck it."

"Ugh," Marie offered with a look as if she had just tasted something foul in her mouth.

"Well at least it's a statement of disgust," Pam shrugged as she fastened the last of the tiny buttons.

"pahm."

"Repeat," she demanded stoically which only garnered another burst of giggles from her conversational counterpart. Eyes narrowed to hard slits when Pam commanded, "Again."

"pa- ahm."

"Yes mini-me, Pam," the blonde vampire said with great approval. "That just got you your first Chanel bag. None of that made in China shit for my number one girl."

With ease and grace she picked up Marie carefully while fully supporting the girl's head like she had seen many women do and insistently demand of others for over a century. She cursed her maker and his stupid fairy wife internally for thinking her completely incapable around the tiniest of the species. They just seemed to conveniently forget that her vault registered everything, even unwanted information like child rearing. The little girl in her arms let out a sleepy yawn despite her desire to look at the life sized Barbie her older sisters always played with.

"They look at me like I would eat you mini-me. As if. I'm not aspiring to be anorexic," Pam huffed out as she sat them both down in the rocking chair lulling the child to sleep. "My unparalleled physique is a result of a lifetime of corsets. Not like silly women today and their diets. None of that for you mini-me, no one likes to be poked by bones during sex. Well some like a certain bone but you and I are lucky not to have those icky things of flesh."

Another little yawn escaped from the infant as her tiny hand reached for a lock of the vampire's hair and held it to her cheek caressing it softly. Pam's hand gently stroked the fair baby hairs on her head in return as the other held her firmly to her chest. She gave the child a stern look, "Tell anyone I sang to you and you will die a gruesome death," Pam warned seriously to which Marie gave a tired giggle. "It's good we have an understanding then."

A small cough cleared her throat before Pam recited the nursery rhyme that she had forced her governesses to sing to her over and over again in her younger years.

_Die, pussy, die,  
Shut your little eye:  
When you wake,  
Find a cake,  
Die, pussy, die._

After repeating the verse more than once in a strangely soothing yet monotone voice, the baby fell contentedly to sleep atop Pam. With the unexpected bundle of warmth that rested on top of her, she too fell into downtime.

"See I told you it would work," Sookie whispered to Eric, her eyes gleaming with pride. "A few minutes with Marie and even her shrivelled up ovaries are exploding. My little niece can wrap even the coldest of hearts round those little fingers. Heaven help Jason when she's all grown."

"You don't have to whisper," he returned at a slightly elevated volume to indicate they were merely observing through the nanny cam hidden in one of the teddy bears and were out of clear range of Pam's sensitised hearing.

"We're doing secret spy stuff. You're supposed to whisper," she retorted with a whisper shout.

He gave a small chuckle as his hand traced the contours of her belly. "Heaven help me if this turns out to be a mini-you."

"What's that supposed to mean," she hissed back testily.

"That I wouldn't know which one of you to love more," he covered quickly of his slip. If anything the past eight and a half months had taught to him to placate to her every will as seemingly random bursts of anger erupted from her throughout Sookie's pregnancy. "So Pam passed the test?"

"Yeah," Sookie smiled before giving him a chaste kiss to the lips. "Except she'll need to learn a different nursery rhyme repertoire. That sounded like some horrible death metal anthem. Why don't you go get Pam while I welcome the last of our guests?"

"Of course," he returned obligingly before placing a soft kiss to her forehead and one on top of the belly that ensconced their future child. "Just make sure Willa's boyfriend isn't sitting in my seat again. Every fucking family dinner I have to kick his werehole ass out of it."

"Eric, be nice!" Sookie admonished. "He cooked the turkey and everything."

"He's not good enough for my Willa," Eric harrumphed showing his disdain for the Alfa were once more. Of all Willa's boyfriends that had come and gone in the past few years none had been able to stand Eric's scrutiny for beyond a month and it grated him to no end that the current man in his Willa's life lacked the sense to back down and submit. It had been a trying few months aside from the pregnancy. "_She_ doesn't need anyone that can cook."

A pointed glare from Sookie was met with a resigning sigh before Eric sped off to the upstairs to retrieve his other daughter. A small smile graced Sookie's face as she rubbed her stomach serenely with knowledge only she possessed as she whispered to the child inside, "Heaven help him when he finds out he's having another girl."

**A/N: Pam's little nursery rhyme is an actual one from Victorian times as printed in early renditions of Mother Goose but it seemed written for Pam so I just couldn't help but include it….**

**I have been a little absent the past week due to illness and shall start churning out the chapters from next week onwards. My foggy brain forgot to mention why Bill was sent to Six Flags last fixin', I edited the chapter a few hours later but for those that missed it the first time round: Sookie and Bill had a terribly stupid conversation about it in early season 7 where Bill confessed to never getting to go to the theme park so I made it happen, albeit in a jar… Make sure to check out the Thanksgiving Fixing's 11-13 page on my blog (hisviks. wordpress. com) as all those morbid pictures of Bill at Six Flags finally came in… ;)**

**I honestly don't know how long these fixin's will last. I have a few left in the back of my mind waiting to be written but I fear the well will dry up soon without any more inspiration… so if you still have a thought, idea or concept feel free to share.**


	14. Chapter 14

**#14**

Sookie furiously knocked on the back door of Fangtasia, refusing to enter with the rest of the throng by the front door. Ginger peered out curiously and immediately shut the door as soon as she recognised the blonde at the door. The downright rude door slam only added to Sookie's ire making the pounce on the door more insistent as she screamed, "Eric Northman! You get that pale ass of yours out here right now!"

The few stray fangbangers in the deserted parking lot hardly took notice at the display. Any other night and it would be one of them by the door begging to be taken again. Much to their despise it seemed tonight, for once, Eric Northman had listened to the pleas thrown his way.

"Sookie?" he said in confusion to the angry woman that had blatantly ignored him and his attentions for four consecutive years under the guise she wanted nothing to do with vampires. To his chagrin she seemed to make an exemption for all those residing in Bon Temps and though he now owned several properties there in a desperate attempt to be invited to the elusive annual supernatural Thanksgiving feast he had yet to receive an invite to.

Eric hardly had a chance to take in the whirlwind that was Sookie Stackhouse as she shoved him aside and strode down the hallway towards his office as she angrily tossed over her shoulder, "What took you so long? Too busy fucking another gold digger in the basement?"

"I gave that shit up years ago," Eric growled back as he stalked behind her. "If you must know I was on throne duty."

"Well at least somewhere some things have stayed the same," she sighed while plopping herself on the leather sofa. Her face turned to a grimace, "Although I hope you tossed out that old couch with the chains." He gave a brief nod to her astonishment. "When did you turn into such a pussy Eric Northman?"

"I knew I used to like you," Pam purred as her face rounded the corner of the doorway. "What happened to you? Did you find out you weren't pregnant and instead discovered those steel sets of balls you used to sport?"

"Did you just give birth?" Eric asked in confusion only now taking in the flat of her stomach in as he was still trying to get over the fact that Sookie seemed to be suffering from a personality transplant, though still strangely reminiscent of the women who had piqued his interest for the first time in a millennium.

"No the other me is still pregnant," she huffed in annoyance to which she received two raised eyebrows held steady in question. "That bitch Marnie separated us during the fight in the graveyard. I've been stuck there ever since, until tonight."

"Fairy Sookie," Eric finally uttered with extreme satisfaction as he took in the noticeable difference.

"Took you long enough to notice!"

"Well I noticed," Pam returned dryly. "Hated you from the moment you turned my maker down, at least I understood what all the fuzz was about before."

"Thank you!" Sookie cried out exasperated. "I fucking bonded to you Eric Northman and you just went 'meh' when I said I still loved Bill! What is wrong with you? Where the fuck was the thousand year old warrior Viking God I fell in love with? Maybe I should shack up with Pam, at least she noticed I wasn't myself!"

"You're more than welcome to Tinks," Pam returned with a lascivious wink.

"Pamela," Eric growled out causing the vampire in question to immediately retreat as she abided by her maker's wordless command to leave them alone. He scrutinised Sookie as she demurely sat on the sofa wondering how he had missed the shift in her personality. "What happened?"

"I don't know," she confessed. "I got shot, Bill forced his blood down on me and I woke up in the cemetery. I thought I was a ghost until I saw stupid me flapping about having sex with any man on a headstone. I'm still trying to erase the memory of having to overhear veiny sex with Bill," Sookie grimaced with a visible shudder. "Like I'd ever have sex with him again. Ugh."

Eric couldn't help but chuckle at her miserable memories which only seemed to anger her more. "You weren't there! It was awful Eric I thought he was grunting like he was finally going to pass a bowel movement or something!" With that bit of commentary Eric fell apart with laughter as he remembered the eternal constipated set face of the Civil War vet.

"You know I always theorised he was turned mid-poop," Eric managed to wheeze out between his hysterics. Thankfully Fairy Sookie was able to laugh along as she realised that she never would have to witness or overhear that again.

"What am I going to do Eric? Idiot Sookie has my house, my family and my friends. On top of that she rented out my vagina to any supernatural that winked at her."

"You have me," Eric said in comfort as he pulled her closer over the smooth leather. "She's an idiot for not seeing the best thing that happened to her. Leaves you with the biggest prize."

"Hmm. You make a lot of sense," Sookie mused nuzzling into the comfort of his chest. "_She_ doesn't deserve you anyhow. But I still want my stuff and people back."

"Pamela," Eric called out knowing his progeny was listening in whether he tried to tell her to or not.

"Already on it!" she returned at a volume high enough for Sookie to overhear.

"Pam's living on the wild side by dating a witch," Eric answered her questioning look.

"I hate her already," Sookie retorted with contempt of all things Wiccan that forced her to stand witness to her idiot half ineptly running her life all these years.

"She is extremely annoying," he conceded, happy to share his prejudice of the magically inclined that ruined memories and many lives. "But useful."

Amelia did prove useful, although Sookie had serious struggles trying to remain calm around the witch that she was sure possessed the loudest internal voice she had ever come across. She latched onto Eric for some internal peace that he was all too pleased to provide. Slowly as the night progressed her anger had waned and small touches became caresses. She moved from beside him to his lap as he whispered all sorts of flattery into her ears as he nibbled on her earlobes in between while the witch did her best to understand the spell that had separated Sookie into two, thoroughly probing Sookie for any relevant information.

"I think I figured it out," Amelia finally concluded after conferring with her mentor in New Orleans. "Marnie didn't do a separation spell as we initially thought but Bill must have made a deal with her to do a binding love spell through his blood."

"Asshole."

"It didn't work properly because the fae part wouldn't submit on account of the commitment she made to Eric by blood and light, therefore that part split off."

"What changed now?" Eric questioned as Sookie was clearly corporal unlike before.

"Bill died but his blood inside you didn't, well the other you," the witch explained. "On top of that all the matter of his blood had to fully disintegrate and according to Pam's calculations in a vampire his age that would be about now."

"Fucker couldn't just walk into the sun like everyone else with a death wish?" Eric grumbled annoyed that Sookie could have returned to him years ago.

"Hush," Sookie admonished kissing him softly on the lips for the first time that night if only to shut him up. Then he knew exactly who he was dealing with, this was the woman he had fallen in love with. The one who comforted him when his maker said goodbye and stood in his place. The one who had taken him in without a memory to his name, cared for him, fought for him and loved him equally in return. No wonder he had let the idiot version of her go. "Love you too," she whispered feeling exactly what he felt through the bond that had slowly crept back to prominence throughout the night.

"So can I kill the other Sookie," Pam asked with far too much malicious glee to be considered comfortable to anyone else in the room.

"No," Amelia replied fiercely. "The two are connected, if one dies so does the other."

"Well it's a fucking miracle you're still walking then," Pam returned with a roll of her eyes before she settled in to pout about her missed opportunity kill that she had been meticulously planning in her head for years.

"So what do we do then?" Sookie asked.

"As far as Octavia can tell any spell with the Fae requires the sharing of light. Beyond that we don't know much. Perhaps your great grandfather can help figure this out."

"That free loading spaghetti thief?" the feisty fairy retorted with an impressive roll of her eyes. "He doesn't seem very helpful in the least."

"He's the best shot you got," Amelia returned as she gathered her magical items and tomes. "The spell is undone but you two are still apart."

Sookie thanked the witch politely as she agreed with Eric that she had indeed been beneficial though she would make sure to stay well away from her and warn Pam that Amelia's last relationship ended with her other half as a cat.

"Are you sure about this?" Eric asked concern coursing through his system and into hers.

She kissed him softly before answering, "You're not?"

"What if…" The mere thought of having her and losing her again as she merged with her other half was too difficult for him to even admit out loud. She understood completely what words couldn't express for him and through the bond she allowed him to feel what she felt for him, how whole she felt with him despite her missing half.

"We're one Eric," she whispered against his lips. "Nothing will steal that from us again."

"I can't lose you again Sookie," he returned with pain in his eyes to which she softly kissed the lids. "The other Sookie moved on with some were who impregnated her."

"Seriously Eric?" Sookie consoled as she wrapped her arms around him. "If you haven't noticed yet I'm obviously the brains of the operations. Idiot Sookie won't know what hit her. Besides she married that guy because she couldn't afford a new tin roof which she would have if she ever made it to one of her damn shifts. She doesn't love him, she has no idea how to. How else would she let you go?"

"Sure?"

"Definite," she voiced confidently as she tapped a spot on her forehead which he then lovingly kissed. "Read her mind and everything. She's pretty much a Renfield. But I'd like to hold off a bit, she's the one that got us into that pregnancy so she can damn well suffer through the pain of childbirth."

**A/N: I expect this one will have a follow up fixin' sometime soon as I'm just itching to write Fairy Sookie slapping some sense into Idiot Sookie. **

**The horror of veiny sex was inspired by my conversation about with Sakshi Chopra so thanks for that!**


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N: Remember when I said there would be another Fixin' to follow up the last, it'll probably be a couple… This is part 2, there will be a part 3 beyond that I haven't decided yet but Pam and Niall have been orbiting around each other in previous Fixin's and they just wouldn't hurry up so the slapping of the Sookies will happen later… **

**#15**

"Asshole is going to owe me the finest pairs of shoes after this," Pam muttered disgruntledly as she took in the state of another pair of ruined pumps courtesy of the woods of Bon Temps, a place she was coming to despise much more with each visit. To add to her horror she had spilled some of the tomato sauce on her pink tweed pantsuit when leaving behind a trail of small spaghetti bowls, all containing a single bite, that ended by Eric's home nearest the forest. As much as Pam had taken to Fairy Sookie, stains were a hard thing to forgive. She consoled herself in that she could pass it off as a blood stain in order to maintain her menacing appearance if the situation called for it.

Her horror of a night only seemed to continue when she entered the large chef's kitchen where she found her maker cooking. Cooking. It was downright the most sickening thing Pam had ever stood witness to. Eric's large form huddled over Fairy Sookie as she diligently showed him how to chop, resting her hands atop his to mimic the movement. Pam let out a silent snort at the thought that Eric pretended to never have wielded a knife in his thousand years, although it was probably a first for his precision skills to be unleashed on a clove of garlic. It was however a pleasing sight to see her opportunistic maker of earlier years re-emerge.

"Then you rock the bottom of the blade like this," Sookie instructed as she initiated the movement.

"Like this?" Eric feigned innocently, speaking huskily into her ear, when he didn't hesitate to rock against her behind with his entire body suggestively per her directions, earning him a playful slap in the process. At the sickening display of domesticity Pam interrupted the scene that threatened to play out with an audible cough to announce her presence and annoyance.

"Your fairy trap is set your Royal Snatchiness," Pam snarked with a well-practiced curtsy.

For far too many times than she cared to count since Fairy Sookie's reappearance, Eric's eldest progeny's full name was hurled at her in reprimand. The feigned innocence that had worked so well for Eric mere moments ago did little to save Pam as she was relegated to waiting on the Prince of the Fae holding a steaming bowl of the preferred pasta out on the porch.

Pam tried desperately drown out the giggles and kisses that signified the repulsive concept of happiness happening inside. It came as no surprise that she was extremely grateful to find Niall Brigant staring her down hungrily. Perhaps it was all for the bowl of spaghetti but the salt and pepper of his hair wetted her own appetite accordingly. He just screamed 'make over' to Pam and that was a worthy distraction over the sickeningly sweet interactions of her maker and his fairy.

"Hello there pretty lady," Niall purred out reminding Pam of his idiotic great-grandson who was well versed with the same phrase, which gave her the startling thought that perhaps there was a fairy Jason out there somewhere too. With a brain. The horror.

"Enchanté," she returned with a piqued eyebrow throwing out her hand with a disinterested manner in a decidedly old fashioned custom demanding he kiss the obscenely pink diamond of her ring.

"I hope this doesn't mean you are a taken woman," Niall murmured as he hungrily took in the scents of spaghetti that lingered on her hand as his lips brushed against her cool skin before finding the colder metal surrounding the stone. He knew a good thing when he saw it and such a beauty carrying a bowl of his favourite nourishment was a definite keeper in his mind.

A little snort escaped Pam at the mere thought, reminding her why she had so easily moved on from men to women. Act a little disinterested, a good flutter of the lashes and a shy lingering look and they were all putty in her hands. Men really pulled all the fun out of seduction for Pam, at least women gave a bit of work in the chase before they succumbed to her inevitable charms. She didn't fail to recognise a worthy adversary when she came across one though and Niall definitely possessed all the skill.

"Maybe, maybe not," she shrugged non-committedly. "Care for a bite," Pam grinned letting her fangs slide out in display while she offered up the porcelain bowl holding his gaze.

"You are either very brave or very stupid," Niall returned with a modicum of admiration.

"I could say the same for you," she countered slyly.

"Let's say we be bravely stupid together then," he smirked back while sitting himself down on the chair she had pulled out in demonstration of silent command. Niall always did enjoy a bit of dominance in a woman. "Did you make this for me?"

"Do I look like I cook?" Pam returned holding the same insulted face she usually reserved for the idiocy of lesser beings like Ginger or Jason.

"You look like a woman who gets others to cook for her without uttering a word," he complimented before taking a bite with an appreciative moan. "The world just comes running to your beautifully adorned feet."

"You're not far off," she said picking up a fork and mimicked the rotating movement to gather the spaghetti onto the utensil. Her free hand found the bottom of his chin, moving it towards her before he obligingly opened his mouth to take in the offered food. "I could say the same for you."

He grinned widely as he displayed his leather ankle boots that she instantly recognised, as archived in her vault by brand, price and leather type. The finest Italian craftsmanship money could buy, which for decades Pam had fervently tried Eric to buy while he continued to insist on 'sensible' shoes.

"Tell me what I can do for you Pamela." A look of surprise fell over her face but it vanished as quickly as it had appeared which had him chuckling at the composed woman's brief slip in her armour. "You are a very well-known woman in your own right," he started to explain. "However, I know of every being connected to my great granddaughter. Really thought I wouldn't stand to stare twice when your lovely picture graced my desk."

"I'd be flattered if I cared," she returned with a roll of her eyes belying the fact she was somewhat flattered by the admission.

"So what is my idiot great granddaughter up to that has you luring me into your lair?"

"Well speaking of idiots," Pam mused. "There appear to be two now."

"The brother too?" Niall expressed with slight distaste at the apparent tarnish on his personal gene pool.

"No two Sookie Stackhouses, we call one Idiot Sookie and the other is Fairy Sookie, they got separated at Bill."

"Asshole."

"Seems the most accurate word for the miserable excuse of a vampire that clearly needed one to take a shit already and release us of his constant misery," Pamela growled out with disgust for the Civil War veteran.

"He did appear rather constipated," Niall agreed. "You're not telling me anything new though. Why do you think I assigned one of my trusted werefaes to guard the idiot version?"

"You knew!" The seething words came accompanied by a hard slap across the face knocking out the latest bite of spaghetti from his mouth while Eric desperately tried to reign in the fiery temper of Sookie as she set to further assault her great grandfather into grave bodily harm.

"Wondering what took you so long," Niall smiled completely ignoring the anger that waved off her with a scalding heat as he softly kissed the crown of her head as her itching arms of violence were restrained by Eric. "Good evening great granddaughter."

"What is the meaning of this," Eric hissed as he simultaneously tried to soothe their collective anger.

"Why don't you join us," he returned congenially gesturing to the two empty seats. Their tempers had yet to relinquish but somehow the blonde couple managed to find some sense of composure and diligently sat down to listen to the Prince of the Fae.

"Talk," Eric gritted out as Sookie clamped down on his hand for support.

"I felt the treachery of Mr Compton through the blood all those years ago and I had set to rectify the situation as soon as the sun was up," Niall started to explain. "That was until I discovered your condition."

"What does my telepathy have to do with anything?"

"Your other condition," Niall answered succinctly.

"You have got to be kidding me," Pam groaned as the other two blondes continued to stare blankly with the unanswered question. "It's his?"

Niall gave an affirmative nod accompanied by an appreciative leer for the vampiress' superior perception.

"Can someone please tell me what's going on," Sookie demanded hotly as she shared Eric's confusion to what Pam and Niall seemed to be communicating stealthily about.

"I found you to be pregnant with the Northman's child."

Shock overtook them both, paling Sookie to the same shade as Eric's skin. "How is that possible?"

"How is it not?" Niall shrugged. "There's evidence of magic everywhere, even in the ordinary."

"There's magic in the things we can see," Sookie recited, remembering the words her great grandfather's had spoken to Idiot Sookie when she was searching for a miracle to restore Bill. "Birth is a miracle. Love is a miracle. Death is a miracle. You said that for my benefit?"

"Yes the other one makes your brother look intelligent," Niall scoffed. "She does make a decent spaghetti though and it's fun to waste her time whenever she gets stupid notions in her head again. Frankly my patience with her is akin to public service." Another appreciative glance travelled Niall's way as the scruffy man with the best pair of shoes was becoming more alluring to Pam by the minute.

"I still don't understand why you kept us apart."

"I know the answer to that one," Pam expressed gleefully taking her position as Niall's star student and with an approving glance he allowed her to continue. "Two words. Trouble. Magnet. Bill, then Billith, Warlow. Momentary peace before Eric goes missing for six months," she pointed out acerbically, forgiveness still being far off on his sudden departure. "Leaving you sans protector, then HEP-V roaming zombies while we travelled the world in the name of the cure."

"How do you know this?" Sookie asked with slight wonder.

"Eric and I returned to Louisiana eight and a half months ago. The other you is due to give birth in two weeks meaning Niall over here finally let go of the stasis placed on Idiot Sookie, which explains her lack of developing brain cells, the moment it was safe to do so."

"The baby is ours?" Sookie whispered out as she finally allowed herself to feel ownership of the child that resided in the other Sookie's belly that had previously been regarded with some ambiguity.

"Ours," Eric confirmed without a doubt in his mind. As he knew all too well that there was magic in the ordinary from the moment his eyes first found the woman sitting beside him.

"I still get to slap the hell out of her right?" Sookie questioned as an afterthought.

"We'll all line up so we each get a turn."

**A/N: Make sure to check out all the lovely entries for Sephrenia's Writing challenge on her WP site sephwritchallenge. wordpress. com**


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N: It should probably be noted that I apologise in advance for what reading this might do to your poor minds… **

**#16**

"Wait, does that mean if Eric had just stuck around in Shreveport instead of running round the world for that New Blood business of his this could have been resolved years ago?" Sookie suddenly questioned waking flames to old fires.

"The Northman is a very hard man to track down," Niall replied carefully.

"Tell me about it," Pam groaned in memory of her own re-enactment of '_Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego?'_ with a rather elusive Viking vampire.

"I think my efforts should have been better spent in pursuit of you," Niall hinted suggestively at Pam who carried an appreciative grin, welcoming his advances.

"Gross!" Sookie cried out with the thought of her great grandfather seriously pursuing Pam. She had merely taken it as role playing on both their accounts before but now that it seemed a real possibility her stomach churned at the thought of Pam becoming her great grandmother.

An apologetic hand soothed her over her thigh accompanied by a whispered sorry as guilt flooded their bond over what Eric's inadvertent absence had caused.

"You didn't know," Sookie returned softly as she identified the self-inflicting pain. "Would you have believed him anyhow?"

"I don't know," he confessed honestly. "Had he promised me another chance with you I think I would have gambled with the possibility regardless."

She nodded appreciatively reserving her anger for another more idiotic individual. Frustratingly she had found it very difficult to remain mad at Eric, where she missed his typifying arrogance she knew he hadn't lied when he told Idiot Sookie that he was more with his memories. There were changes in him that she could appreciate and perhaps with her in his life those qualities may never have emerged.

There was no old and new Eric Northman, he simply was and it gave her the confidence that no matter what, he would accept the two Sookie Stackhouses as one who was simply more. "You know I'm actually glad that she let you go, now I have you all to myself."

He kissed the temple of her head softly while absent-mindedly rubbing the flat of her stomach revelling in the thought that soon it would be filled with a child they had both instantly taken ownership of from the moment they heard it was theirs. The word 'Mine' that seemed so intrinsic to all vampiric relations seemed paltry now, when there was such a concept of 'theirs' and 'ours'. Eric held a small smirk as they sensed the same thing through the bond, "I guess we both had to suffer in our time apart."

"I think you got the worst end of the deal," Sookie sighed as she considered the completely unpredictable nature of Idiot Sookie. "Sorry."

"What do you have to be sorry for?" Eric asked with confusing missing the intent in her words.

"For this," she answered before Eric was overcome with a stinging sensation on his cheek and felt the residual pain flow through the flatly held palm of her hand as a satisfying slap rang through the air. Only to be followed by another and another with every reason she could unearth from her mind. "Fucking flesh of marble! Asshole! For leaving me alone to wonder round a cemetery for years! For thinking Idiot Sookie was the real me! For thinking sunbathing unprotected on some mountain top is a smart idea! For being so damn noble all the time!"

Niall and Pam chuckled at the sight and sounds of Fairy Sookie's practice round on Eric, when all her anger over the situation finally dissipated her chest heaved heavily from the exertion before she started to replace the slaps with tender kisses to the near pink flesh of his cheek. "For caring for everyone but yourself. For never giving up hope when I was abducted by Queen Mab. For looking after the people I care for through no obligation of your own. For risking your life at every turn so others have a chance to become as old as you. For thawing that thousand year old heart of yours when you thought you were incapable of doing so. For the simplicity of your dying wish to be a kiss from me."

At her last words Pam quickly tugged Niall up who grumbled discontentedly at his interruption of dinner and entertainment. Having to suffer through their loving displays of affection for two consecutive nights had Pam at her limit, only with the promise of more pasta in the kitchen did Niall perk up just in time for the two not to stand witness to a re-enactment of a kiss that had defined Eric and Sookie's beginnings.

"I'm sorry for Idiot Sookie," she whispered when air had finally caught her lungs during a reprieve of the joint sensation of lips and tongues. "You should totally get to slap her too."

"She may not be you," he returned thoughtfully. "But she's still a part of you. I don't think I can hate her, no matter how much she hurt me. I don't think I can ever hurt the woman carrying my child either."

"You're probably right," Sookie pouted, naturally the amorous vampire couldn't let that sight go without a nibble of her jutted out lip before it was swallowed into another deepened kiss. "Eric I don't want to wait anymore."

"Let's get you downstairs," he grinned lasciviously.

"Eric, Stop!" she shrieked reminding him of the more innocent girl that had once fearlessly walked into his bar and dared to sass him. Begrudgingly his intended movement to take her and ravish every inch of skin on her body came to an immediate halt, although his impatience with the situation was clearly legible on his confused face. "I don't want to wait till _she_ gives birth to our child. We made it," Sookie continued as her eyes rolled with her next sentence. "All three of us. So _I_ want to give birth to _our_ baby."

"I'd like that," Eric whispered huskily into her ear. "You know it's a nice thought that we are three now and there will be three again soon."

"I just pray to god our baby inherits nothing from that unintelligible bitch."

"Pamela has her flaws but I still love her for them," Eric offered consolingly with the thought that they might actually end up with a Stupid Sookie for a child.

"You're a better man than me," Sookie groaned with the prospect. "But hey she'll be at least a half of you. She can never be _that _stupid."

"Don't be ridiculous, we're obviously having a boy," he scoffed.

"_Obviously_," she retorted with palpable sarcasm, before she could utter more contempt for his assumption her fired lips were tempered by his cool mouth as they both came to the realisation that no matter what the sex of the baby would be, they would celebrate it for the magic being that it was. Ordinary or extraordinary. Even if it turned out to have a box of rocks for a brain.

"Shall we go ask Niall now to reunite us?" she enquired after standing up to go back inside.

"Can we wait until tomorrow," Eric requested after some thought.

"Now _you _want to wait?"

"I've always wanted to crash that Thanksgiving feast that she refuses to invite me to every year," he offered sheepishly.

"That's it Eric Northman tonight I'm helping you relocate your balls," Sookie spoke with determination while cupping the afore mentioned objects, to which he growled excitedly. "But you do have a point, let her bloated ass do all the cooking this year."

"Excellent," he grinned as he was already mentally mapping out how they could fill the hours in between. They moved back to the kitchen in search of her great grandfather, Sookie shuffling her feet at high speeds with impatience as Eric stalked behind her, leisurely taking in the view of her rear. Unfortunately their distracted minds left them completely unprepared for the scene that they startled upon in the kitchen.

"EEEEEWWWW!" Sookie screamed in horror as she took in the sight of the brightly lit kitchen island where a naked Pam, bar a pair of red heels, was covered in spaghetti which the undisturbed Prince of the Fae was suckling languidly from her breasts. The couple remained completely unimpressed by their newfound audience, Pam cast them a dismissively waving hand, informing they would be with them in a minute while their jaws did their best not to drop completely to the floor. Sookie instantly shut the door on the spectacle, relieve washing over her as she was no longer able to hear the slurping and suckling noises that were coming from Niall's mouth as he ate his fill.

"Next time we have to work on temperature control," Niall informed Pam when they finally emerged from the kitchen fully clothed. The back of his hand wiped the corner of his mouth to remove the last remnants of red sauce. His lips, however, were still noticeably swollen from earlier activities. "I like my spaghetti and my woman warm," he growled while catching her by the waist where he proceeded to bluntly bite at the curve of her neck.

"Only if you let me give you a makeover," she purred in return. "The shoes can stay of course."

Sookie and Eric both shifted uncomfortably on the sofa before Niall took notice of them again. "Right, I assume you are ready to merge with that brainless version of yours now."

"We'd like to wait till tomorrow," Sookie said meekly as she continued to stare at the pattern on the area rug as she tried fervently to bleach her own brain from the images of the night. She never considered the state of bliss that idiotic version of her must reside in as the world just stupidly passes you by.

"Let her cook that meal, very smart. But there better be spaghetti."

"Oh yes," Pam moaned with delight causing a chorus of opposing shudders to reverberate around the room.

In shock of the continued display Sookie clamped her hands fiercely to her face in some desperate attempt to make it all go away. A heavy paperback was tossed into her lap by her great grandfather that advised her to better read up on what to expect now that she would be expecting.

"Is there anything..." Sookie started still finding it hard to look Niall or Pam in the eyes where they were absolutely unapologetic about their exploits. "Pain management," she finally managed to stutter out. "Can Eric's blood do something for it, otherwise I want to be in a hospital and be as high as a kite."

"Hasn't anyone taught you anything about the way of the fae," Niall chuckled, which only deepened in timbre when she hotly retorted a big fat no and quickly averted her eyes away again. "That baby's going to feel as good coming out as it did when it was made. Perk of the fae."

"Oh," Sookie said in confusion. "Oh!" Her eyes were wide with the sudden realisation of what he meant.

"O indeed," Pam leered with her eyebrows raised impossibly high as an appreciative hand travelled down Niall's chest which puffed out proudly with the attention. "The big O."

At Pamela's further humiliation of Sookie her cheeks flushed red as an embarrassed heat overtook her body. Niall observed it with a hearty grin before he audibly whispered into the vampire beside him, "See Pamela that is the exact temperature you need to be for our next meal."

**A/N: So apologies again for that mental imagery… ****I haven't decided yet whether I will continue this storyline yet or not over more fixin's, I'll think over on the weekend. I still feel there needs to be a meeting of the Sookies but I don't want endlessly drag this single snippet out so we'll see but the personalities in this have been very persistent including in their perversions, which I swear is all them...**

**Jem I liked your idea of Sookie being Jessica's and Hoyt's surrogate and was going to use it, unfortunately almost the exact same idea was just utilised by another author so unless the other half of your suggestion is also used in that I will incorporate that idea in a future fixin'. Thanks for the prompt, guess I should have jumped on it quicker :)**


	17. Chapter 17

**A/N: This is part 4 of a fixin' that continues from #14 onwards**

**#17**

"What about Gunnar?" Eric offered from his spent position with his ear resting to hear the beat of her heart as she continued to browse the pages of a book with a multitude of names.

"Big fat no, Mr. Regular Name," Sookie vetoed instantly. "You have no idea what it is to be mocked for something you didn't chose. Sookie, Cookie, Nookie... argh..."

"Those are all not bad things," Eric grinned running his fingers sensuously over her body.

"Quit it!" she hissed out while swatting away his lingering hands. "You've proved the existence of your balls more than once tonight. Now is the time for the baby's name... for once Stupid Sookie is ahead of us by being more prepared than we are. That is just too disturbing a thought to let stand."

"People have been having babies for thousands of years," he said soothingly kissing her angry little fingers with a small smirk. "We'll figure it out."

"We are not prescribing to the Eric Northman school of we'll figure it out when we get there," Sookie stated coolly. "Don't think I've ever forgiven you for locking me up in your dungeon with no plan. Honestly how you made it this far with those impulses baffles me."

The book in her hands was instantly grasped from her hands with a menacing growl as it was tossed unceremoniously across the room. "You bring it out in me," he spoke evenly to her defiant glare. "Temptress that you are."

"As if," she huffed out. "You're the one who did all the seducing and created just as much trouble as me. If you hadn't gone all macho with the witches perhaps you would have walked out of that coven with your memories intact."

"Maybe," he shrugged not wishing to concede too much. "But then you would never have found me walking by the side of the road. The magic of the ordinary that will be our child would never have happened. Sometimes a gamble is worth the risk of losing everything. Sometimes you need to forget the experience of a thousand years to open up to that again. To recognise something as worthy as love again."

"Is this what you have been telling yourself all these years?" she whispered as her fingers ran tenderly through his short hairs.

"I've been telling myself that for a lot longer but only you made me feel the necessity of it again," he acknowledged. "I didn't know how to love anymore till I wanted it. Had this child come about under different circumstances I'm not so sure I would have been the father Gunnar deserves."

Sookie bristled a little again at the proposed name and presumption of the sex but chose to let slide when realising he was as scared as she with the prospect of suddenly becoming parents. "You're going to be a great dad," she said encouragingly. "There's love in you for more than me."

His shy smile hid among the sheets that covered her lower body as he kissed her empty stomach again, imagining what it would be like to see it filled with their child in what would only be an hour or so away. "Are you ready?" he murmured softly as he sensed her trepidation about the upcoming night.

"I think so," she returned absently before looking at his now confident eyes. "No, I know so. We'll be fine, what we don't know we'll figure out along the way."

He kissed her softly saving it to memory, the moment they were simply two for a while. "We have to get ready to leave if we want to make it there a little after sunset," he informed with a slight regret that indicated the end of their evening and daylight tryst. After standing witness of her great grandfather's and Pam's exploits it had taken quite a lot of effort on Eric's part to persuade her to partake into the expedition rediscovering his missing ball but with a few choice licks and she was a quivering mess that remembered exactly where they had left off in a magical winter wonderland.

"Do you have anything I can wear?" Sookie requested as she nervously bit her lip. His thumb traced the bulging side with amusement.

"Always thought this shy part was attached to your humanity," he mused. "You're the one that covers the extremes."

"You won't miss me when I become _her?_"

"You're not going anywhere," he returned confidently his fingers cupping her cheeks. "I always knew you were there, part of the whole."

"You bring it out in _me,"_ Sookie smiled with realisation. "She allowed me out with you."

"I like to think we bring the best out in each other," he smirked before speeding away and returning in seconds dangling a familiar dress from a rich velvet hanger that probably cost more than the dress ever did.

"You!" she accused with tears staining the corners of her eyes as her hands clasped the familiar white cotton fabric dotted with small red flowers. "I thought this was lost to that bitch maenad."

"I saved it from the wreckage," he informed smugly. "It's been waiting for you ever since."

"You never gave it to the other Sookie?"

"It somehow didn't seem right anymore," Eric replied simply warming her heart that even though he never rationally knew he was only dealing with Stupid Sookie that somehow instinctively he knew she wasn't completely her.

"I don't suppose you saved any underwear from the wreckage?" she asked for propriety's sake.

"Nope." When she petulantly crossed her arms with a huff he couldn't help but chuckle at the sight. "I thought you were the saucy one," he teased while tossing her a towel.

They arrived a good half hour late as Fairy Sookie had taken on the challenge to show exactly how saucy she was during their joint shower. Thankfully the congregation consisting of Sookie's loved ones and family had only just sat down toasting to the night when Eric, Pam and Niall walked into the lit up backyard. After some thought it was decided not to scare Stupid Sookie into labour at the sight of her mirror image so Fairy Sookie sat in the shadows of the trees with Dr. Ludwig who had been procured to look over pregnant Sookie until the baby was born. Eric had been happy to note that Human Sookie would have objected to the cost of it but Fairy Sookie had merely shrugged and agreed without argument.

At the sight of her great grandfather arriving with the extremely elegant Pamela Swynford de Beaufort on his arm accompanied by the illustrious Eric Northman had Stupid Sookie drop her glass of grape juice to the table staining the white tablecloth crimson. Nervous glances passed around the table but went completely unnoticed, like much did, by Sookie. With far too much spring in her step Sookie bounced over to the trio. Eric couldn't help but beam at the sight of Sookie fully rounded with their child.

"Oh my gosh," she gushed staring up into Eric with wide eyes one finger twirling in a lock of her hair. "I can't believe 'The Eric Northman' is here at my little Thanksgiving Party. And you of course too Ms. Swynford de Beaufort, you always look so beautiful on TV." Pam merely quirked her eyebrow up in question while Eric remained passively silent as he watched Stupid Sookie's cheeks flush the same colour of the spilt tablecloth while she moved in closer into Eric, her hand trailing over his forearm as she demurely bit at her bottom lip, highly reminiscent of the Fairy that Eric had ravished not so long ago. It only caused Eric to be more confounded by the whole scene that was playing out in front of him.

Huskily she whispered hoping only he would overhear, "You know I heard rumours you live around here, feel free to drop _in_ anytime." To make her message even more suggestive and clear while trailing the outline of her enlarged breasts she spoke with a small moan, "And I mean _anytime."_

"OH HELL NO!" Fairy Sookie screamed from the woods having overheard the entire conversation from her mind, her temper completely unbridled as Dr Ludwig desperately tried to stop her intent for a disaster course by latching on to her leg with little effect as the Fairy merely continued walking with the leech on her leg like it was a weightless infant holding on for dear life.

The long table full of people erupted in loud whispers and shock as they took in the second Sookie Stackhouse who yanked Eric firmly out of the pregnant one's grasp. Ludwig quickly jumped off the Fairy Sookie train giving an unimpressed shrug to Niall's glare. "I tried," the doctor offered in a lacklustre explanation.

"What the hell is wrong with you? You giant ho bag slut!" Fairy Sookie shrieked before landing an extremely loud and hard slap across Stupid Sookie's face, smacking all the lusty looks and thoughts out of her. The table and all onlookers fell to silence after a chorus of gasps with the sight and sound of the confrontation. Eric instantly had his arms around Fairy Sookie, locking her arms to her side in order to prevent her from doing any further damage, he simply couldn't stomach the sight of any Sookie in pain. No matter which one, he loved them both. Tears escaped from Fairy Sookie's eyes as she sensed it through their shared bond, her body slumping into his with the realisation that made her hurt and love him more all at the same time.

"Well that was anticlimactic," Pam drawled out with the disappointment that the bitch smacking session was over so soon. "May I have go?" Niall gave her an admonishing look where her lip upturned in response.

Willa came to support the Stupid Sookie who was still stuck in a daze from her sudden assault and the one who had landed the blow. "What the hell is wrong with me?" Fairy Sookie whispered in her confinement.

"You were upset that your other half would come on to me," Eric explained patiently.

"No not me," Fairy Sookie voiced, "The other me. _Her_, she only knows you from TV. It's like she never met you two before."

Fairy Sookie wiggled herself from Eric's arms assuring him she was calm and in control again, her hand reached out tenderly to caress the reddened cheek that she had induced on her other half. A slight wince was exhaled with the touch before Fairy Sookie sank into her mind. With a gasp she stepped back into Eric's hard chest again.

"She's been glamoured," Fairy Sookie said, her eyes standing white with shock. "A lot. Like Ginger a lot."

"You are certain of this?" Eric questioned, having simply always taken Sookie at her word that this was an impossibility, after finding her unresponsive the first night they met. He supposed that perhaps it was something only afforded to the Fairy inside of her.

Fairy Sookie nodded with conviction as the other her merely stared dumbfounded in gentle Willa's arms. "Who the hell did this to her?" the Fairy demanded eying all the vampires present, her eyes resting a fraction longer on Pam.

"It was me Eric," his child confessed in a whisper only the supernatural that were present could hear. Eric probed the severed tie that once bound her to him and found not an ounce of guilt for her actions. His hands were around her throat in an instant as he shoved her against the side of the house not caring that he broke several wooden boards in the process. It was taking every ounce of his well-honed restraint to not squeeze that smidgen harder at which her head would be dislodged from her body. His jaw was set tight as he gritted, "Explain."

**A/N: In Pam's defence I will say this, "Read carefully." Stupid Sookie will now be known as Pregnant Sookie as she really is a bit of a victim in all this too... got any issues take it up with Bill ;) this is my supernatural soap opera after all... **


	18. Chapter 18

**#18**

"You don't fucking deserve her love," she croaked. "Everything that I've given to you and you still run away. She deserves better."

"Eric!" Fairy Sookie shrieked in anger as she only just managed to hold up her other startled half when her support system was ripped away in milliseconds.

Her upset with the situation and loud yell managed to cut through the thick haze of Eric's anger as he turned his venomous eyes from the brown ones of his youngest child to look at his two Sookies sharing the worry of their unborn child who Eric had just unintentionally endangered with rash actions. Willa was dropped in an instant, Pam and Niall instantly retaking his position while he grabbed hold of one of the comfortable lounge chairs from the porch allowing Pregnant Sookie to sit securely while instantly summoning the doctor to look her over.

"That is our child in there Eric Northman!" Fairy Sookie screamed at him like a ferocious lioness protecting her cubs. "You better start remembering that from now on. She comes first, you can take care of Willa's betrayal later."

"I'm sorry," he offered with a face laced with shame. His hand rested atop the Pregnant Sookie's knee as he looked up towards her offering the same apology, though little of it was processed as she merely stared dumbfounded at the extremely attractive vampire from the TV and what appeared to be her mirror image claiming the child she was carrying was theirs. There was little in her mind stopping her from thinking, so she simply took it as truth and she smiled appreciatively at Eric which he returned in kind causing Fairy Sookie to growl a little with jealousy.

"I'm ok," she offered as Ludwig was about to proclaim the same. "Who are you again?" Pregnant Sookie asked turning towards her other half.

"Her brain has more holes than Swiss cheese," Fairy Sookie whispered in misery wondering if she would be condemned to live such a damaged existence for the rest of her life, granting her the memory and instincts of a goldfish. "This can't all be the work of one vampire."

"It was Tara, Jessica and I," Willa offered from her tightly held confinements, hoping that a quick confession would send her to a merciful death. With that information Pam sped over to the redheaded vampire only to be surpassed by Fairy Sookie who blasted her with the force of her light before punching her squarely on the nose while screaming an un-curated choice of profanities.

In a repeat of moves Eric's arms came to surround Fairy Sookie fighting fists as he whispered to her ears, "You're upsetting the other Sookie and the baby." She calmed instantly with those words, though she couldn't help but dole out another hard kick to Bill's progeny. Hoyt tried to come to his wife's defence but one menacing look from Fairy Sookie had him instantly slumping back in the uncomfortable rental chair. Pam was instantly beside the two blondes picking up the hissing redhead baby vampire by the back of her neck before depositing her beside Willa and a menacing Niall.

Still vibrating with anger Fairy Sookie's eyes suddenly rested on the nervous looking Hoyt, who like much of the table sat eerily silent with the events taking place, that for the unknowing were difficult to follow. James had to assure Lafayette multiple times that he was not seeing a ghost, that there were in fact two Sookie Stackhouses. Fairy Sookie walked with determination to her brother's former best friend and without thought rested her hand on his head. Too scared to respond he meekly sat there as she examined every cavern of his brain. "You too?" she whispered with tears in her eyes.

"I don't understand," Hoyt confessed with a tremble to his voice.

"You're glamoured to the hilt," Fairy Sookie explained before turning to Eric asking in a hushed whisper, "Can that even be fixed?"

Eric shook his head regretfully with the first-hand knowledge that Ginger was never able to recover her lost memories, between Pam and him they had experimented enough to know that the woman's mind could endure very little. It was in that moment that Jason decided he could no longer stand by to the confusion that was surrounding him.

"Can someone just tell me what the fuck is going on?" he demanded.

"May I?" Pam enquired of the aggrieved parties that all simply gave a perfunctory nod as they were far too wrapped up in emotions to give a proper explanation anyhow. Pam managed to retell the events that led everyone here tonight as if she were addressing a group of kindergartener's to bridge the in her mind conceived intelligence gap, her dealings with Ginger had given her plenty of experience after all.

Jason didn't hesitate a second as he moved over to the two female vampires and cuffed them painfully in two sets of silver handcuffs. "Get in," he growled nudging them forcefully into the house before announcing to the rest, "Party's over get on home!"

Pregnant Sookie reverted back to Stupid Sookie as she got up to follow the rest of the departing parties before the other Sookie and Eric caught up with her diverting her back into the main house. Brigette handed over temporary care of her children to Lafayette and James intent on looking after the pregnant half of her sister in law, having noted her distress. Jason's wife never knew Sookie in her old carnation but it had always struck her as odd how the woman behaved and it never quite seemed to match up to the stories people always spoke of her.

Fairy Sookie looked grateful as Brigette helped set up Pregnant Sookie on her bed elevating the feet of the flustered woman before leaving the room to get her some drinks and snacks.

"What did Jessica and Willa do?" Pregnant Sookie asked of her other half.

"I don't know honey, I'll be sure to find out soon," she answered while running a wet cloth to her cheek. "I'm sorry I hit you."

"I would have hit you too if he was mine," she returned shyly while looking past the other Sookie towards Eric who seemed to be observing them both from the doorway.

_"Promise to hang on to those instincts," _Fairy Sookie pleaded mentally._ "Eric Northman is not one you simply let go of."_

_"I don't understand. He was never mine."_

_"We made a commitment to him, one that can't be broken," _Fairy Sookie explained. _"Remember Bill? He tried to break that connection, instead it broke us apart. The proof of that commitment is the baby you carry."_

"We will be one," Pregnant Sookie suddenly remembered looking from her other half over to Eric.

"Yes," Fairy Sookie and Eric spoke in unison as he moved beside the two halves taking a hand from each as they both Eric and Fairy Sookie took a different interpretation from her statement.

"What about Preston?" she asked suddenly becoming aware of the man that lived with her. "He's not the father is he?"

"No," Eric returned with bright eyes as he started to recognise glimmers of a Sookie that had stolen his heart. Fairy Sookie had always reeled him in but this was the one that kept him there, coming back for more. This was the woman that wore her heart on her sleeve, cared more for those around her than herself, understood the unspoken through mere perception unrelated to her telepathic gift. She was the one that opened up her home to him when he was afforded little forgiveness. The one that was too kind for this harsh world she suddenly found herself in, her eyes remaining bright and open through it all. Holding compassion for those who seemed otherwise undeserving by everyone else, even though little of that had ever been afforded to her.

"I may not understand much but I couldn't figure out how Preston had impregnated me when he refused to sleep with me," she sighed with relief that her mental conundrum was somehow solved though she asked for little further explanation. "And I've been so horny since becoming pregnant."

A jealous scowl grew across Fairy Sookie's face as Eric indulgently chuckled with her last sentence. "All in good time _girls_," he smiled emphasizing the plural, before kissing Pregnant Sookie's forehead and squeezing the other's hand encouragingly. Brigette had returned to the room with refreshments, her heart warming with the tender yet unusual sight. Upon recognising her presence it gave Fairy Sookie and Eric excuse to leave Pregnant Sookie in her sister in law's capable hands.

_"You're not leaving me again are you?" _Pregnant Sookie pleaded to her other half not daring to speak the insecure words aloud. Fairy Sookie shook her head, "Never. We'll be back as soon as we figure out what to do with Jessica and Willa."

"Please don't hurt them, I'm sure they meant well."

"I'm not so sure," Eric said regretfully. "I fear my rearing of Willa has left much to be desired. Perhaps I'm not ready to be a father after all."

"Don't you dare!" both Sookies screamed in perfect synchronisation.

Pregnant Sookie pulled his hand to her heart and spoke softly and sincerely, "I may not know you Eric Northman but there isn't a doubt in my heart that you belong here with this baby."

"Her pregnancy has been quite restless," Brigette offered in comfort remembering Jason's nerves about becoming a father. "I have never seen her so calm since your presence, despite the dramatic events of the evening."

"May I?" Eric asked tentatively gesturing to the large protruding bump that separated him from the other Sookie. With a beaming smile Pregnant Sookie nodded enthusiastically moving his hand down for him to where the baby kicked with excitement at the prospect of meeting its father's hand.

"You too," she urged her Fairy half who threatened to become withdrawn with the tender site that unfurled in front of her. Smiles graced all their faces as the baby greeted its parents. "It really is ours isn't it?"

"Yeah," Fairy Sookie spoke softly. "Thank you for loving it for us in our absence."

"Don't cry," Eric spoke with concern at the sight of tears on Pregnant Sookie's rounded face, paralysing him as it did each and every time.

"You haven't been around pregnant woman a lot have you?" Brigette laughed softly as she handed Pregnant Sookie a tissue.

"Happy tears," Pregnant Sookie confirmed with a wet smile.

"Happy tears," Eric returned in understanding as ones just like it ran down his own face.

**A/N: Congrats to Mindy781 who was the only one that didn't fall for the Pam trap, told you all to read carefully... Poor Pam getting all the blame again, but I felt Willa was relegated a really poor story arc and tossed aside after Eric released her on the show, I figured I would use that anger she had for Eric abandoning her here. Next time we'll get the full Fairy Sookie smackdown on the two baby vamps...**


	19. Chapter 19

**A/N: See all those lovely semicolons, commas and lack of double words? That's all thanks to msbuffy who was kind enough to beta this for me as I'm always just happy to churn these out and post only to later curse myself for all the lingering mistakes I've left. It's a hazard of writing on the fly so thank you msbuffy for making it all legible again ;)**

**#19**

"You ready?" Fairy Sookie asked of Eric before they descended the stairs to the cubby. He nodded confidently as he asked her the same with unspoken words through his gazing eyes. "Yeah, me too."

Eric moved down the ladder first catching Sookie on the last steps earning him a glare that communicated she was perfectly capable herself. The room looked different than it had when they were both last here. The bed and books had been shoved to the side while Jessica and Willa's slumped forms were attached to two of her wooden kitchen chairs. The heavy silver chains that had once saved Eric from meeting the sun cast by Marnie's spell now bound them firmly and painfully in place. A trail of blood travelled from Jessica's nostrils where Fairy Sookie had landed the hard blow while Willa's throat was stained blue.

"Sis?" Jason asked carefully of Fairy Sookie from his leaning position against one of the utilitarian brick walls.

"Part of her," Sookie offered holding her arms out to him.

"I'm sorry," he whispered into her ears while hugging her tightly, "we all just assumed that Bill's blood had finally overcooked you."

"Thanks Jase," she returned with a small smile at the knowledge that everyone had not been as oblivious as she thought. Unlike when she had disappeared to Faerie and they had all simply continued on with their lives while she was considered dead. They didn't know this time but at least they had noticed something was off.

"Who first?" Eric growled out, showing the full force of his thousand-year-old threat exciting Fairy Sookie to no end as her fingers buzzed with electrical excitement with the sight. Eric tossed her a grin as he scented the burnt static behind him running all the possible scenarios through his mind what to do with the little spark plugs.

"Tara's the one that discovered it," Jessica whispered.

Pam swept in holding the redhead's jaw impossibly tight inducing hairline fractures, allowing only the supernaturals in the room to hear the tears ripping through the bone. "Choose your words carefully when speaking of my progeny," Pam seethed, refusing to accept Tara to be the source of this blame. She knew better than to assume malicious intent when it came to the telepath and her best friends. "You're awfully selective with the truth."

"Tara told Sookie to leave her alone once and she was surprised when she actually did," Willa explained evenly when Jessica only seemed to whimper in pain. "She didn't think much of it until the next time she came across her and they had an argument. Tara made a derisive remark with quite a forceful will that she should just fuck the next random guy to walk into Bon Temps."

"Warlow?" Niall discerned, his eyes narrowing to burning slits while he pulled Pam from her hold on Jessica as he feared any added damage would make it difficult for the vampire to speak further.

"Yes," Jessica wheezed out as relief ran through her body from the reprieve. "She felt really bad about it; you have to believe me, Sookie."

"And Alcide?" Sookie demanded, establishing a pattern.

"Tara liked him," Willa supplied. "Thought he would be good for you. She thought it would set things right about the Warlow incident. Tara only encouraged you to give him a chance, and she never intervened since."

"She just wanted a normal life for you," Jessica whispered. "To open up your eyes to something beyond vampires."

"She made him fall in love with the other Sookie!" Fairy Sookie yelled barely containing the rage she wished to unleash on them both. "Gave him hope for something he couldn't ever get from her, and Alcide died for her idiot brain."

Eric ran his hands down Sookie's arms in an attempt to soothe her before the entire cubby would be ignited with her fairy light as the sound of it crackled through the small room. "When did you two become involved?" Eric commanded coolly.

"Tara told us both about it after Vamp Camp," Jessica explained. "I started planting seeds about Bill when I noticed she wasn't happy with Alcide."

"Why?" Sookie demanded in the iciest voice she could possess in the situation.

"Bill loved you and he was your first love. He hurt so much without you," Jessica said, tears falling in memory of her Maker. "You two belonged together. It was true love."

The force of the slap that travelled across the milky skin of the baby vamp made a deafening sound, and the room fell to silence along with two of Jessica's teeth. "You stupid bitch!" Sookie hissed. "Do you know anything of what happened between me and that sick Maker of yours?"

At the insult of her sire Jessica automatically dropped her fangs in an effort to express her outrage but instead the incisors fell miserably out of her mouth.

"Everything he told me and portrayed to me was a lie; he took my blood without asking, and cheated on me repeatedly. Bill had me beaten to an inch of my life so he could feed me his blood all to control me. Tell me, Jessica, does that sound like true love to you?" Mutely Jessica shook her head as bloody tears ran from her eyes. "Eric may be a bit of a bastard but at least he's honest about it. But why even bother to ask you? Hoyt's evidence enough you're incapable of being an honest person yourself or understand what it is to love someone."

"I'm sorry," she whimpered.

"Not good enough," Pam informed on behalf of everyone in the room. "You're going in the meat locker with Sarah; there must be some demand for the blood of Billith's progeny."

"No," Fairy Sookie informed with cold eyes. "I don't know how but I'll make it happen. Hoyt will remember everything you have done to him and you will know what it's like to be abandoned by everything you held dear; to know devotion and to have it taken away from you only to be replaced with hate. Trust me, you'll be begging to be staked rather than to live through that misery. Something tells me Pam over there will make sure you live long enough to keep feeling that pain over and over, never to be loved again."

"Please don't," Jessica pleaded. "I love him."

A maniacal laugh erupted from Sookie scaring Pam and Eric slightly as it reminded them of the echoes they had once heard in Fangtasia that signalled the end of Talbot's remains, only now were they able to source its owner. "You're just like your Maker," she mocked. "You don't have a fucking clue as to what love is and you never will. You're not capable of it and that knowledge will continue to fester away your entire existence. Bill came this close to physically raping me," Sookie demonstrated with a few millimetres of negative space between her two fingers. "He would have had Tara not stopped him, but he raped me in every other way by robbing me of my own choice and control in his constant manipulation of me. You're no different from him. You're pathetic."

Pam's eyes looked pained at the mention of Tara and it didn't escape Fairy Sookie's notice. Gently she nudged Jessica's bruised face in her direction as she whispered to the redhead's ear to alleviate Pam of public acknowledgement, "See that over there, that's what love looks like. She hurts for Tara, not because of her. The only thing you're concerned with when it comes to Hoyt is what _you _will be missing out on when he leaves you. If you cared anything about him you would have let him be like he asked never remembering you and the damage you caused his heart."

As Jessica continued to sob, Sookie turned her gaze to Willa, "It's why you did it, didn't you? Can't stand the thought of being left behind, to be alone."

"Yes," Willa confessed, her eyes seeking out the cold and indifferent glare of Eric's. "All Sookie would talk about was you when she lost two supposed great loves of her life. I knew it was the real deal between you two and you don't deserve her love if you're just going to leave her behind like you did with me and Pam. You don't deserve any of our devotion."

"What did you do?" Eric requested not betraying a hint of emotion.

"I made her forget everything she knew of you so Sookie could move on," she returned with unwavering eyes from the Maker who promised her a new life that she gained by betraying her own father, only to be rewarded with the same disregard, now to be condemned to an eternity of it.

"Because you couldn't," Eric spoke softly as he knelt in front of her. The steel facade that Willa had bravely kept up through the entire night, accepting punishment as if it were warranted, crumbled for the first time. Her bottom lip trembled against her blunt teeth as she tried desperately to contain the pain that marred her short existence as Eric's child.

"Just do it already," she spoke with the last of her courage. "Kill me, please?"

"No," Eric returned strongly. "I should not have released you when I did, insisted you stayed by my side until you were truly ready to stand on your own. You are capable, you have proven this but I never factored in that you may not want this. I'll give you a choice. I'm going to be a father soon and I'm desperately in need of the practice. Return to my side or use that strength that you have so valiantly displayed all night and simply walk into the sun."

Eric looked toward Sookie to assure himself that she was okay with the offer. He knew the tenderhearted Sookie upstairs would have no qualms but Fairy Sookie was of the less forgiving kind. She regarded Willa carefully, "You're not sorry at all, are you?"

"No."

Fairy Sookie gave a brief nod of esteem as they connected over intent and a noble sense of empathy that spared others of pain. Her hands moved deftly to release Willa of the silver chains demanding the key to Jason's handcuffs with a mere hard gaze that expressed there would be no discussion when it came to her decision.

"So what will it be?" Sookie asked when there was nothing to restrain the young vampire in place. "Hello or goodbye?"

**A/N: My entry **_**Hinterland Shades**_** for Sephrenia's Writing Challenge is up feel free to check it out. It's officially a one shot but it will be continued at some point. I'm still deciding whether it should be another multi chapter piece or a novella so bear some patience with that one.**


	20. Chapter 20

**A/N: Special thanks to msbuffy once more for making this legible again ;)**

**#20**

"You're not going to punish her!" Jessica demanded hotly with indignation.

"Shut it, fire crotch," Pam sneered, while gagging her with one of Niall's cans of spaghetti, which in her short intimate knowledge of her latest lover she had come to find littered all through those deep and baggy pockets of his costume. "Not bad," she noted to Niall when he handed her a handkerchief of discernible quality and his neck tie to keep it all in place.

"You won't just leave again?" Willa asked showing the first hint of insecurity all night.

"I'm not _him_," he answered alluding to her deteriorated relationship with her birth father. "I left because of me, not because of you."

A bloody tear ran from Willa's eye swallowing the sob that threatened to accompany it. Eric's thumb carefully wiped away the evidence of sadness from her cheek. "I'm not running from anything anymore," her Maker offered. "You're owed some reparations but don't think there won't be any repercussions for your behaviour these past few years. I will take you under my wing as I should have from the night you rose."

"Ok," she breathed out. "Can I apologise to the other Sookie first? I'd like to make it right."

"How many times did you glamour her?"

"Just the once, I'm not very good at it," she admitted. "It wiped away some memories of Bill and others in the process; I think Jessica has been trying to make her remember with her glamour." The vampire in question struggled in her confines trying to refute Willa's assumptions but few paid attention to her anymore. "Can I undo it?"

Eric gave a brief nod before signalling Pam to detain Jessica in the basement of King Bill's former palace. Niall sauntered after his eldest progeny with a protesting Jessica fastened over her shoulder. Pam was far too gleeful about all the fun the new night promised, though he and Pam were mildly disappointed that they were expected to return to reunite the two Sookies. With detailed instructions, Eric explained the intricacies of the hold Willa's glamour had caused in Pregnant Sookie's mind and how to unwind it again. Seeing that it was a single act it was deemed safe.

Brigitte excused herself from the room when Willa came in, deciding to keep herself busy clearing away all the untouched food of the Thanksgiving feast while Jason attempted to make his personal contribution by eating away as much of it as possible. Fairy Sookie and Eric remained hovering outside the door to the bedroom as Willa approached the pregnant woman.

"Hi," Sookie smiled softly at the brunette vampire who had become a supportive friend over the years. Of all the vampires in her life, Willa had always given her an unexplained comfort that the others failed to offer. "I told them you and Jessica didn't mean any harm."

"I did mean you harm," Willa confessed. "Maybe Eric is more accurate. I didn't want you to hurt as I did. If someone could have glamoured me to numb that pain, I would have wanted it, but it should have been your choice to make."

Her brows furrowed in response, "Did Eric hurt me?"

"I don't think so, not according to Fairy Sookie," Willa offered as she softly petted her hand. "He loves you; well, both of you, I guess, I don't think he's ever leaving you behind."

"I know he won't," Sookie smiled without a doubt in her empty mind. "They promised."

"I hope someday you will be able to forgive me," Willa whispered as she took hold her of eyes.

"I don't understand," she spoke nervously as her other half came to sit by her in comfort.

"_It'll be okay_," Fairy Sookie spoke to her mentally as she tried to observe Willa letting go of the hold in Pregnant Sookie's brain. "Eric," Pregnant Sookie whimpered feeling the need for him instinctively. Carefully he came to sit on her other side in the bed he had shared with a full Sookie in his amnesia days.

"I'm here," he whispered earning him a grateful smile.

Slowly, the web Willa tangled in her mind began to unravel as the fairy part of her externally monitored for any distress from her or the baby. She gave Willa an encouraging signal to continue as memories found themselves again, tears flowing down her face and hands clamping down on Eric.

Pregnant Sookie was left speechless by the barrage of memories as Dr Ludwig looked her over for any physical changes. Her eyes sought the haunting blue ones of Eric's. "Leave us," he requested, remembering just how assaulting the experience was to him when memories replaced previously empty pockets at rapid speeds.

"I remember," Sookie whispered into his chest. "I remember you. I remember us. I'm so sorry."

"You have nothing to apologise for," he soothed.

"No," she denied. "The way I treated you, that was all me."

"It wasn't only Willa," Fairy Sookie spoke softly. "There were others, the traces are still there in your mind. We can't predict how you would have acted had your mind been left intact."

"Why would they do that?" Pregnant Sookie sniffed.

"They thought they knew you better than yourself."

"Maybe without you there was some truth in that," she spoke to her other half sheepishly. "Bill?"

"We don't know," Fairy Sookie shrugged. "Maybe. Probably."

"He did something. I knew that after I got shot," she said, rubbing over the slight scar that still resided there, now stretched out by her pregnant belly. "Everything that made sense didn't anymore. I thought it was the blood. I never meant to hurt you Eric."

"I know," he returned, kissing the crown of her head. "I knew that all along."

"Didn't stop it from hurting, did it?"

"Drove me to a snowy mountain top in the high noon," he chuckled in a self-deprecating manner.

"Don't joke about that," Pregnant Sookie admonished while swatting his chest. "Even without the bond or your blood, this feels right. I never should have let it slip through the cracks of my fingers."

"Are we all ready?" Niall asked after a soft knock on the bedroom door. "You're looking better already great-granddaughter," he noted while taking in Pregnant Sookie's eyes as they shone with a newfound clarity.

"I wish I could remember everything that was taken from me," she returned with a small sigh.

"That can be arranged," he replied smugly.

"Eric said it wasn't possible," Fairy Sookie interjected.

A low chuckle escaped Niall's throat. "Your vampire may be old but that doesn't necessarily make him wise and all-knowing, little one." His hand caressed gently over Pregnant Sookie's head, "Vampires are such messy creatures, leaving their traces behind everywhere. It is easy to undo."

"Says the man who thinks a naked body is a perfectly fine food receptacle," Fairy Sookie retorted with a roll of her eyes.

"Young Pamela is quite the dish," Niall grinned grossing Fairy Sookie out again.

"Any chance you can make us all forget that sight?" she enquired with an unrelenting grimace as the memory continually invaded her mind.

"Yes, please?" Pregnant Sookie begged as she was vicariously assaulted through their shared telepathy.

"Dear Abby says there is nothing wrong with expressing your sexuality," Pam informed defensively with her arms crossed. "That brief glimpse more than makes up for what I have had to endure with those ridiculous glances my Maker and you two have been throwing each other's way all these years."

"Pamela," Eric growled out in warning, simultaneously wondering how he was going to manage three children all at once, the newborn most likely being the least taxing of the lot at this rate. He feared he might be the first vampire in history to start sprouting grey hairs.

"Was I wrong about her magical fairy vagina?" she countered petulantly, pointing at the magical creature growing inside her belly. A last warning glance silenced her completely as Niall gave her an encouraging smile.

"Follow the magic, Sookie," he instructed to her Fairy half. "You can replicate this with the oaf on the lawn."

"Hoyt?"

"Whatever," Niall shrugged disinterested. "Pay attention now."

Fairy Sookie did as she was told observing how Niall mapped out all the external invasions and started pulling them apart with his light, allowing Pregnant Sookie to witness every moment of glamour as it was imposed on her. The three of them shuddered with the memory of veiny sex with Bill which, as Fairy Sookie had assumed, was initiated by Bill's glamour. Though similar to Tara's initial discovery, it had been an accidental and it was Pregnant Sookie's inherent compassion that nursed Bill to the end.

"You should feed her some of her blood before the reunification," Ludwig informed Eric before glancing at Fairy Sookie. "You, share some of your light. Her body remembers you but the baby is unfamiliar with your shared bond."

Eric didn't hesitate and soon the familiar crunch of fangs distending into flesh reverberated from the walls as Fairy Sookie summoned her light. Determined eyes matched each other as a wrist was brought to Pregnant Sookie's mouth while Fairy Sookie's light bathed over the life inside her womb. When the wound on Eric's wrist closed, he pulled it away from a reluctant Sookie, Niall joined his light with Fairy Sookie's and slowly her form disappeared and settled back into its former corporeal host. The white dress Fairy Sookie falling to the floor.

"Sookie?" Eric asked carefully. She gave him a bright smile as she finally felt like herself again; their shared bond returned as her Fairy counterpart emerged with an unprecedented presence, knocking him squarely in the chest.

"Eric?" she asked worry lacing her tone.

"I'm okay," he returned as the bond settled itself in its former place now in full strength. "You?"

"Better than good," Sookie replied as the Fae in her contentedly caressed the pregnant round of her stomach as she experienced the prelude to motherhood for the first time consciously.

"The baby?"

"Babies," she corrected with a beaming smile as her telepathy found multiple whirring minds.

"Two?" Eric whispered in awe as he picked up the secondary heartbeat when he held his ear closely to her stomach.

"One of them better be named Pam," her future namesake declared.

"The other one is definitely a Niall," the Prince of the Fae supplemented as they both ignored the deathly glares of the parents to be.

**A/N: I had been contemplating by doubling the baby count with the reunification and when redjane12 mentioned the possibility in a comment, as it was the way of the Fae, I decided to go ahead and pull the trigger on that one under the guise that two is better than one so thank her for that… I doubt I'll get any complaints about more babies anyhow :D**

****My entry **_**Hinterland Shades**_** for Sephrenia's Writing Challenge is up feel free to check it out. It will be continued at some point I'm still deciding whether it should be another multi chapter piece or a novella so bear some patience with that one.****


	21. Chapter 21

**#21**

Sookie was trying very hard to pay attention to the items Pam was showing her on the screen but her body ached with the strain of pregnancy and she was far too tired to take any notice. As an alternative she gave an approving nod while Pam gleefully filled her virtual basket.

A little yawn escaped Sookie as she snuggled into her pregnancy pillow; secondary only to the comfort Eric's body usually brought her but it was a revelation to her nonetheless. The Fae in her had to admit that in her absence her lost human counterpart had made some sensible investments after all. Unfortunately no one had been expecting multiples which made them only half-prepared, though in Pam's opinion, they were completely unprepared after she had taken inventory of what had already been purchased. The majority was deemed inferior for a child of Eric Northman as it all simply reeked of Walmart. According to Pam, that was belittling for a child of her Maker which one should only have to suffer it once in a lifetime.

Nonetheless, Pam's distaste of the national chain had lightened a bit. In a secret moment of reminiscence she had allowed a single tear be shed at the sight of the flowery yellow sweats that she had worn to turn Tara. Caught by Niall, her initial fluster had changed from embarrassed to calculated at the observation of the sudden heat in his eyes. With little hesitation she had promptly swiped the pair of sweats; for playtime she would happily endure the horror that was poly-blend.

"When is Eric coming home?" Sookie asked stifling another yawn.

"Who cares about Eric? How about this for mini Pam?" she returned, showing a miniature Chanel suit.

"I think that's for a doll," Sookie discerned with squinted eyes.

The vampiress gave an unimpressed shrug, "I'll get it to fit. She better learn soon that to look this good, one must suffer."

"You're not getting her a corset!" she cried, horrified as the mouse hovered over the offending item.

"Modern women and their hatred of curves," Pam sneered. "A defined waist will never go out of style."

"Babies aren't supposed to have waists!" Sookie shrieked. "They're supposed to be cute and pudgy."

"This isn't any old teacup, Sweet Cheeks. This will be my master creation," Pam informed seriously. "The perfect mirror image of me."

"Pam, you do realise this will be Eric and my child, right?" Sookie murmured into the comfortable pillow.

"Mine, mine, mine," the vampiress sighed exhausted for having heard the word in excessive amounts. "You need to learn to share a little, Sookie. It's not every day I get a new sister."

"There's always Willa."

"Meh," Pam shrugged with utter disinterest; however, before any further thoughts on the subject of her mousy sister could be expressed they were disrupted by the buzzing of the egg-timer. "Niall, get your head out of that spaghetti bowl!"

"Huh?" Before the Prince of the Fae could protest he was left hanging with an empty fork in front of his lips and a missing plate. With grumbled protests he followed Pam back to her dedicated salon area to rinse out the hair dye that had finally set.

"I think you only like someone when they're blonde," Niall accused to the mirror image of the woman snipping away at his formerly untamed mop of hair that now sported a very warm version of the colour.

"I don't like anyone," she informed him testily as she placed a fresh bowl of his favourite food down alongside a whole host of male fashion magazines. "Now eat your dinner."

"Yes, dear."

"Stop picking out the vegetable pieces," Pam scowled as she caught him midway spitting out a piece of carrot and wearing a suitably guilty expression. "If you don't get enough fibres in, your face will be stuck like Constipated Compton's."

With a grumble he swallowed the offending vegetable, which after dedicated research by Pam had started showing up in her incarnation of his favourite dish, while Pam continued to scrutinise the even cut of his hair.

"Eric, thank Satan you're here!" she exclaimed, abandoning the wet tresses to take possession of all the garment bags one vampire and his fumbling second progeny could carry on her virgin flight to Dallas and back.

"You didn't make it to Zegna!" Pam accused when she finally tallied what was missing from her extensive shopping list. "I'm doing this all for you and those babies, Eric Northman! If they catch sight of Niall in those vagabond garbs they'll crawl right back up that magical fairy vagina never to return again! Is that what you want for mini Pam?"

Eric sighed heavily as he ran a tired hand through his hair. To say the last few night were trying were an understatement. If he received frequent flyer miles for all the errand flights he would easily be able to fly around the world free of charge, many times over by now. Tonight it had been Pam, but on other nights it would be Sookie who demanded a rather elusive combination of food concoctions requiring high amounts of persuasive glamour for people to prepare at the darkest hours of the night. Thankfully he was able to incorporate it all into lessons for Willa whose flailing enthralling skills had vastly improved under his guidance.

"We couldn't carry any more," he offered in apology. The fight in him had long died when it came to the current women in his life, even though he was desperate to point out that Niall did not need to be wearing a two-piece tuxedo with a cummerbund when meeting his great great-grandchildren for the first time. The inevitable arguments would just further his exhaustion. Truth was best in these situations, albeit abbreviated versions, solutions deemed necessary to appease the scowls on their faces. "They're overnighting your order as we speak. It'll be here by dawn. I will remind you again, and, hopefully for the last time, we are not naming any of our babies Pam."

Before she could open her mouth Eric quickly supplied, "Or Pamela. Or Pamila, Pamelia, Pamella or any other version of your name."

"Niall and Niamh it is then," the great great-grandfather to-be supplied smugly as he gleefully showed off his empty plate to Pam.

"No more spaghetti for you," she growled out causing Niall to pale considerably with the horrific thought.

"No Niall, no Pamela, nor any variation," Eric expressed in exasperation thrusting the clothing into Pam's angry arms. He just wanted to get to Sookie rather than have to deal with the delusions and disappointment of the two eldest beings in the house, aside from him, who acted with less maturity than his unborn children.

"But," the two troublemakers started in unison.

"No buts," Eric growled out. "One more word out of either of you, on the names of _Sookie _and _my _children, and we'll resort to calling them Willa and William." An appreciative glint settled in Willa's dark brown eyes with the thought as scowls settled on those scorned.

The anger on Pam and Niall's faces dissipated soon while they fell to laughter with Eric's realisation that he had proposed the name of Sookie's ex for his firstborn son. "For fuck's sake!" he yelled out before storming off.

"Hello sötnos," he greeted with a whisper and a kiss to Sookie's nose when he softly padded into the dimly lit living room where he found her sprawled on the large sectional sofa. Since returning to his main house in Bon Temps she had hardly left the comfort of it, only to make her way to the kitchen, bathroom, or to sleep beside Eric.

"Hey," came a tired reply as Sookie's eyes opened to take in the bright smile on Eric's face. "All done?"

"Yes," he announced before softly kissing her lips and greeting the babies in her belly.

"Feet," she whispered, nudging her swollen extremities toward his hands. A sigh escaped him, though it was of a less tired variety as he lifted them into his lap while he settled beside her on the sofa and set to work relieving Sookie of her aches. A soft kiss was given to each of her pink, painted dainty toes. "Is Pam done with her makeover now?"

"Your great-grandfather no longer looks like a scarecrow with fancy shoes," Eric informed. "However, I fear Pam is far from done with him."

"If it keeps her occupied enough at least the babies will be safe from her style dictatorship."

"One can only hope," Eric chuckled. "I've overheard traces of her phone calls to Paris Couture houses. The word miniature was dropped several times."

Sookie groaned, from both Eric's expert ministrations and the thought of their future children's ridiculously overstocked wardrobes. His hands trailed further up her calves until his fingers found her smooth thighs. Feeling adventurous, he focused on her inner thighs coming perilously close to her sex that smelled more enticing than ever since she was completely herself again and scented along by the distinct perfume of their children that carried both their essences. Eric wasn't ashamed to admit he was starved for the taste of her and had been for many years. Unfortunately, despite Pregnant Sookie's claims that she had been 'so horny' throughout her pregnancy, there had been but one gentle encounter when the two Sookies had become one again. Between all the scrambling over what needed to be done before the babies arrived and Sookie's fatigue Eric was sorely missing out.

His nose grazed along after the travelled paths of his hands as a small moan escaped from Sookie's pouty mouth. He blew some cool air against her heated sex through the thin barrier of cotton from her ever-practical-panties finding that titillating spot. When he didn't hear another delighted moan he peered above the giant mound that was her belly only to be met with soft snores and a minute amount of drool escaping the corner of her mouth.

Eric returned to his former position and continued to rub her feet dotingly. He didn't dare sigh again as he feared his face might become stuck in that position.

**A/N: **_**sötnos **_**is a Swedish pet name, literally meaning sweet nose which I've always found very endearing, but meaning something like sweetie/cutie pie. We should all be very thankful CH never made Eric Dutch because a large portion of our terms of endearment are fart and faeces-related. Don't ask me why because I have no clue... The majority of our swear words are interestingly enough penis or disease-related... yes, we're a strange people, we've never claimed to be otherwise.**

**Thanks to msbuffy again for fixing all my mistakes although any that remain are my fault...**


	22. Chapter 22

**#22**

"Pamela! What the hell?" Eric yelled out at a far higher volume than necessary for his progeny to overhear.

"Yes, Master?" she answered in an instant, holding a bowl of hair dye and a precision brush in hand as she had now moved onto Stage two of highlighting much to Niall's discontent who thought he was already done.

"What did you do?" he glared with heated eyes between the oversized Jacuzzi tub and the vampire in question.

She feigned an innocent shrug that lost its believability well over a century ago.

"Pamela!" he growled out as he held a clumped clot of spaghetti intermingled with blond and grey hairs in his rubber-gloved hand.

"Niall likes me and his spaghetti warm," she informed in her eternally bored tone.

"No spaghetti in the tub!" Fortunately Pam had anticipated the accompanying angry throw of the offending mass and she casually sidestepped its projection course causing it to splat distastefully on the wall behind her.

"Will that be all, Master?" she mocked with sweet appeasement and a submissiveness she never possessed.

"That will be all," Eric gritted out through his clenched jaw as he feared if Pam remained a moment longer in his presence she would be a matching stain on the wall.

"Here," Willa offered the angered vampire softly while handing over a bottle of drain cleaner.

Eric inspected the bottle suspiciously while he read over the instructions. "This works?"

"Of course," she answered indulgently. "It smells a little strong. Just leave it overnight."

"I do not like all these chemicals around Sookie and the babies," Eric frowned. "Perhaps I should call the plumber."

"He'll use the same stuff at ten times the cost," Sookie informed him when she appeared by the bathroom door wondering what the commotion with Pam had been about. "I'd really like to be able to take a bath in the morning."

"You can use one of the bathrooms upstairs," Eric said sternly as he took in all the warning labels that seemed to spell out the end of humanity if he loosened the cap. He missed out on the crestfallen look on Sookie's face while he continued to struggle with the clogged drain and a tool he had no idea how to use. A wrench. He was pretty sure it was a wrench.

"Eric," Willa hissed sensitively trying to get his attention surreptitiously as Sookie slouched towards their shared bed. "She can't use any of the upstairs tubs."

"What?" he returned testily. His mood stood to improve little while he distractedly wiped away errant hairs from his forehead with the back of his gloved hand, smearing it with congealed pasta sauce in the process. "For fuck's sake!" He dropped everything in the tub with a loud clang as he made his way to the sink to relieve himself of the foul odour.

In his absence, Willa had taken the appropriate tools and gloves to expertly clear the drain of further muck. Eric regarded her carefully as she used the plumber's snake that came along with the draining kit. "Where did you learn to do this?"

"You have to learn to fend for yourself when you're on your own," she replied her eyes unwavering from her task. "Working a few night shifts at Bellefleur's really doesn't afford you a plumber or a place to live where the landlord actually maintains the failing pipes."

Eric gave a brief nod as shame overcame him again; he hadn't realised how dire Willa's existence had been until confronted with the meagre accommodations she once shared with Tara. The light proofing was makeshift and there was no security to speak of, leaving her completely at the mercy of her loud and rude neighbours. It had taken Sookie's continued insistence that she live with them that finally made her give in to Eric's concerns for her wellbeing now that she was officially under his care once more.

"Why can't Sookie use the bathrooms upstairs?" he asked falling back to her earlier statement that was interrupted by a smear of sauce.

"The tubs upstairs aren't exactly ample," Willa spoke carefully. She heaved a sigh when Eric's confused face refused to become enlightened. "She won't fit in any of the tubs upstairs, at least not comfortably. By the look on her face, you haven't exactly been acknowledging that change in her body."

"She's more beautiful than ever!" Eric scoffed.

"Tell her that," his youngest returned, "By the look on her face when she left, I'd hazard Sookie's not exactly feeling that from you."

Eric checked the bond and smelled the salty tears that were quietly being shed in the room next door. Guilt compounded him again with the horror of it going unnoticed, the emotion stricken all over his face.

"Go," Willa admonished. "Use my room in the guest house tonight. I'm used to the chemical fumes. I'll make sure Sookie can take her bath in the morning."

He gave a brief nod. "You remind me so much of Nora," Eric confessed as he lingered by the door for a moment longer. "A little too much. Perhaps that was why I had difficulty facing you after she died."

"I know you loved her very much," she offered in condolence.

"Like a sister," her Maker confirmed.

"Do you love me?" A timid tremble graced her whispered request.

"Like a daughter."

"Thank you," she smiled carefully, one that hinted at the expression Godric often carried.

He returned a warm smile of his own before setting off to find Sookie, wondering if the children who would soon be born would resemble any familial traces. His heart nearly beat with the thought that his children might evoke the memory of his parents and his sister. While finally ending Russell had given him some satisfaction at the time, he knew that the sweetest revenge would be the return of a family. The crown his father wore was never the thing he aspired to have returned to him. No, it was the warm nest into which he was born that was cruelly ripped away and there on their shared bed snivelling into her pillow lay the miracle who would return that to him. No death, no glory, just ordinary magic.

"Sookie," he whispered apologetically when he came to rest beside her, hands grazing at the relatively compact capsule of promised life that was her belly and the reason she was feeling less than herself. "I'm sorry if I disregarded you earlier."

"Eric-" she whimpered as she sought his eyes wishing to apologise for her insecurities. Further words were stalled when he put a gentle finger to her lips.

"You're beautiful beyond compare," he declared as her tears of sadness turned in their emotion. "I can barely contain myself from ravishing you at every glimpse. You; ripe with our children, you must realise that is the most enticing sight I have come across in my many ages."

"You're not repulsed by the sight of me?"

"Furthest thing from my mind," he responded before softly kissing her lips.

"You mean it?" she smiled back.

"Yes! You stubborn fairy!"

"Fairy hybrid," she corrected with a giggle.

"My fairy hybrid," Eric growled as he picked her up carefully, pregnancy pillow and all. "Always proclaiming to be more. Don't you know you're unendingly more to me?"

She shrieked his name repeatedly as he whisked her away with a wide grin to the guesthouse where Willa normally resided. In between crisp white linens Sookie was taught the worship and devotion Eric Northman held for her, whispering away all the fears and insecurities she continued to hold while his body proclaimed the same in action.

The Fae in her would point out that the self-doubt was all the fault of the human side, though Eric knew better. It was that which bound the two intrinsically close and made her seek approval of others. Somehow only he got her to see the worth she carried. Not just to him and the future lives she carried, but to all that surrounded her. Perhaps not Pam, but even she was coming around to the complete Sookie Stackhouse charm.

Sookie sighed contentedly in Eric's grasp as she woke moments before sunrise. Before falling to his day rest, he had assured her many times over what she meant to him only closing his eyes when he was convinced her smile was brighter and wider than the night before.

After she relieved her bladder, one glance at the small tub in Willa's adjoining bathroom had Sookie huddling herself in a warm bathrobe and waddling over to the main house. The house had already fallen to the silence that surrounded vampires during the daytime hours. She made sure to close all the doors behind her as she returned to the bathroom to resume her favourite activity of relaxing in Eric's giant tub. Finding her way through the darkness, with the ridiculous notion not to disturb sleeping vampires, she finally located the light switch for the master bathroom.

A scream tore from her throat that would have woken Eric from his day rest even without a blood bond. Wetness gushed from between her thighs flooding the floor below her towards the sight that had caused her so much anguish. Eric didn't hesitate for a second, knowing he would have no issue healing from the small exposure to the sun between his position and the main house.

Eric supported Sookie's frightened form as he took in the walls, the floor, and the Jacuzzi. All were splattered in the distinguishable crimson colour of blood. Niall's head hung limply from the edge of the tub, a set of fang marks on full display. Neither Eric nor Sookie dared speak a word until Pam sauntered in from the adjoining walk-in wardrobe wearing one of Eric's luxurious silk robes.

"Pamela!"

"What?" Pam intoned as she wiped away remnants of blood from the corner of her mouth with a pristine white handkerchief carrying the embroidered initials NB on the corner. "You said not to use spaghetti?"

**A/N: Dun – Dun – Duuuun! Yep I'm leaving you all right there… have a nice weekend everyone! Oh right is this a bad time to inform you I will be away next week? Look Eric got some Sookie Nookie… put the pitchfork down. Don't worry I'm not leaving till the end of next week you'll hardly miss me or this story…**

**Thanks to msbuffy for her precious betaing skills again. Don't bother trying to bribe her she doesn't have the next chapters yet, I hope to get them to her soon and we have come to the conclusion that we are both unbribable although I am looking for a pasta maker for Niall.**


	23. Chapter 23

**#23**

"Great-granddaughter," Niall smiled contentedly as he woke from his previous high, lifting his head from the edge of the tub. It was only then that he noticed the telling scent of a fully ripened Fae amniotic sac that lay discharged to the floor. In an instant he launched himself from the tub, rising to full height. With utter disregard for modesty, his blood drenched body stood in display to all, the crimson liquid dripping down and showcasing all his impressive parts in full Technicolor glory. Through the horrific sight Sookie and Eric didn't notice the great anticipating smile he carried while exclaiming, "The babies are coming!"

"It's like Billith all over again," Sookie spoke through clenched teeth as she willed away the rising nausea that surfaced with the sight.

"Is it wrong that I want to be the one dissolving into a puddle?" Eric returned as both their gazes were locked on the naked body belonging to the Prince of the Fae, unable to remove them from view even if they tried. It was simply impossible to look away.

"Right there with you," Sookie gulped, completely ignoring that her body had just announced upcoming labour.

Pam covered the choice piece of meat from Niall's body with a towel, which finally allowed some oxygen to return to Sookie's brain.

"The babies!" she shrieked with sudden realisation to what was coming. Sookie turned on her heels in panic only to crash into Eric's arms. "Is everyone just naked around me?" she groaned, though not as disgusted than when it had concerned her-great grandfather, finding herself colliding with more bare skin.

"Well _we're_ not naked," Pam purred with a leer. "Yet."

"_She _is not to be near me in any shape or form from now until the babies are born," Sookie whispered into Eric's ears with a discernible hiss.

"Agreed," Eric replied holding her tightly. "Pamela."

A mere recalcitrant huff was given in answer but a stern look and a submissive hanging of her head gave notice of Pam's understanding.

With all the gentleness in the world Eric carefully led Sookie to the room that was specifically setup for the upcoming delivery, cautious to avoid the empty new blood cans that seemed to be littered everywhere as the contents had seemingly been placed in the Jacuzzi tub. Dr Ludwig stood impatiently tapping her feet on the raised platform still in her green scrubs and covered by a matching colour of goo from her previous patient.

"Let's have a look at you then," she spoke sternly as Eric placed her conscientiously on the examining table. The Doctor uttered a few harrumphs and some choice words that were understood by none before she glared at both of them while snapping off the tight rubber gloves. "As expected I'm here far too soon, you're barely dilated to 4 centimetres. I'll return in a couple of hours."

Before Eric could scream out his protests Dr Ludwig had sensibly popped herself away.

"Hold still Pamela," Niall admonished as her ankles wiggled over his shoulders.

"You try standing still when you're turned upside down."

"You're a vampire, who can fly," he pointed out patiently. "Hold still now or it will all spill."

"Niall-" Eric spoke distractedly as he entered into the sickeningly bubble-gum-pink bedroom. His stomach protested for the second time that day, making him seriously consider if there was some remnant of bile left in his system, as he took in the sight of his naked progeny hanging upside down like a funnel and her fairy prince lover about to tip a can of spaghetti between her thighs.

"Yes, Eric?" he returned indulgently.

"I-" the Viking stammered. "Do I want to know?"

"You told me to keep her busy so she wouldn't run out into the sun during her fairy high," Niall said pointedly. "This is us keeping busy. It's well past my breakfast time."

"I'm perfectly capable of holding my liquor," Pam informed with a slight slur, still somewhat insulted at Eric's lack of confidence in her after taking her fill from Niall's delectable narrow veins. "My fairy didn't fall to glittery pieces unlike some fumbling boyish Viking."

"Whatever," Eric returned shaking his head in a vain attempt to erase the memory of this current scene from his mind. He didn't know why he still tried, it hadn't worked all the other times. "Ludwig popped out claiming Sookie's not ready to give birth yet. Get her back."

Niall barked out in laughter at the miffed vampire. "You think I have any say to Ludwig's movements?"

"You're the fucking Prince of the fucking Fairy Realm," Eric seethed. "If anyone can get her back it's you."

"Calm down Eric," Niall returned patiently. "If Ludwig says she's not in active labour then she's _not_ in active labour. Keep Sookie and yourself calm."

"And do what?" he demanded hotly.

"And wait," Niall shrugged. "Babies come when they want to come. Unlike this little cold cut of meat," he spoke with a slap to Pam's elevated thigh.

"Is that all I am to you Niall?" Pam whined. "Carpaccio?"

"Precious?" Niall cooed. "Is that what you think? Come here." While swallowing his revulsion Eric swiftly departed from the room, uttering some long forgotten curse words from his native tongue as Niall pulled Pam in for a searing kiss while she determinedly clenched her thighs to prevent seepage.

"What happened with Niall?" Sookie requested softly while caressing the swell of her stomach as she took in the storm that was clouded all over Eric's face.

"You don't want to know."

"Worse than discovering your great-grandfather has a third leg for a penis?" Sookie cringed remembering how the ample towel barely covered the appendage.

"Explains his penchant for baggy pants," Eric replied with a grimace. "But yes, worse."

"Tell me."

"No," Eric replied as he came to lay beside her on the bed. His hand came to meet hers as they softly caressed the babies that were taking all the time in the world to appear. "You don't want to know."

"I need the distraction," Sookie pouted, an enticing sight that was immediately kissed away.

"Trust me, you don't want this distraction," he sighed. "I think I finally understand my father now."

"Only took you a thousand years," she jested. "Tell me about him then."

"He was always reprimanding me that there was more to life than what lay between a woman's thighs."

"Sounds like you," Sookie teased with a blush that tinted from her cheeks to her chest as memories of the previous night flooded back. "Don't think you ever got over that affliction."

"Trust me, I'm cured."

"Hiya Sookie," Willa spoke into the softly lit room. "How are you feeling?"

"I'm doing okay," she whispered as another contraction travelled though her.

"Is it painful?"

"No just uncomfortable," Sookie answered. "Not as bad as everyone's mind makes it out to be. A fairy perk I guess. What's Eric up to?"

"Screaming at Dr Ludwig's assistant about every complication that you can possibly incur while she remains absent," Willa chuckled. "He's very overprotective of you and the babies."

"It'll be a bit of an adjustment," Sookie acknowledged. "Hopefully he'll ease up soon."

"It's nice to see he cares so much," Willa offered.

"He'll care and protect for you just the same, you know that right?"

"I know that _now_," she replied. "We had a good talk."

Sookie hummed contentedly before another little tremor ran through her body. When releasing a small moan she instantly flared red with embarrassment as she recognised the impending minor orgasm that was about to hit her. Clenching her thighs tightly she bit down harshly on her bottom lip before gritting out, "Get Eric! NOW!"

Willa barely managed to get up before he was by her side shoving his youngest progeny out the door screaming over the phone, "Yes FUCKING NOW! Make that FUCKING hobbit appear now!"

"You rang?" the hobbit in question intoned.

"And she thinks we're inappropriate," Pam huffed out as she scrambled through the different options for Niall's dress. "She should be entering the moaning Olympics with those wails. Gold medal material right there."

Niall merely chuckled as he regarded himself in the mirror, he had to admit that despite his feeble protest to this makeover lark, he was looking very much dapper. The hair was definitely an improvement with its golden hue. "Pamela dear, do you think you can do something about these?" he asked fondling the twin incision marks. "As enjoyable as it was, I can't exactly start advertising that."

"Are you embarrassed to be with me?" Pam demanded hotly while jutting an accusing finger to his chest.

"Of course not, Precious," he returned dotingly, kissing her forehead from his elevated stance on the round posing podium. He paused briefly as an exceptionally loud scream reverberated throughout Eric's expansive home. "The Prince of the Fairy Realm can't exactly walk around looking like a common fangbanger. Now can he?"

"I guess," she pouted in return to which he pulled at her rounded cheeks till she displayed a meagre smile. "I kind of liked proclaiming you to the world at large as mine," Pam noted melancholically as she moved her bloodied fingers over the marks, watching them disappear under her ministration.

"There are other ways to do that young Pamela," he grinned.

"If you say so," the vampiress returned as she helped the prince into his linen suit jacket that sat over the white and blue marine striped sweater that highlighted the blue in his eyes. Another exaggerated scream indicating orgasmic bliss reached their supernaturally sensitive ears. This one was, however, accompanied by the wail of new born life. Sparks travelled between Niall's fingers as another member was added to his familial line. "We have our first little sparkplug then?" Pam questioned with a single arched brow.

"Indeed," Niall grinned proudly displaying the bright blue light between his fingers. "An exceptionally strong one."

"Well my Maker does know how to make them," Pam informed smugly.

"Indeed he does," he conceded with a proud smile as she continued to fidget with the collar of his shirt. "Couldn't have picked better myself."

A soft kiss was placed against her lips as he pulled her body into his caressing softly over the curve of her hips. "Niall darling, what did you have in mind?"

"Huh?" he answered distractedly as he eagerly awaited the telling sounds that would announce the arrival of baby number two.

"The other ways to proclaim you as mine."

"Already done my dear," Niall replied with a discernible hint of self-satisfaction as his hand roamed further over her body coming to finally rest on her waist.

The loudest scream so far was heard, testing the drums of everyone's ears in the house.

"What was that?" Sookie panted out as her body primed itself for another jolt of pleasure. Her concentration had, however, been lost when the opposing scream had travelled in their direction from the other side of the house. Undisturbed by it all their firstborn lay contentedly over its mother's stomach while the gentle calloused hands of his father traced its spine chartering the short little breaths as astonishingly blue eyes gazed out at the world for the first time. Eric had heard the scream in its deafening quality with ease but he had some difficulty trying to discern through the multitude of words spat out at high speeds to understand exactly what was said.

"What?" Sookie asked with concern as Eric's face seemed to pale to an impossibly white shade right before the next orgasmic wave pushed at their youngest child to enter a newfound realm. Despite the suddenness of the upcoming surge she managed to stifle the moan as her concern remained directed at Eric.

"It appears," he swallowed with an audible gulp. "It appears, Pam is with child."

...

...

...

**A/N: …and that children is why you must always use protection when having crazy spaghetti sex with fairy princes… Despite my disturbing feelings to the Niall/Pam ship, I did not kill him like many of you feared. Some saw through my ruse and I was surprised no one went with a turning theory, that would have been my guess. Baby number two is still to come and well, inevitably Pam's…**


	24. Chapter 24

**#24**

"That'll be number two," Dr Ludwig declared as another tiny wail announced the next arrival of new life. The doctor placed the newborn beside its elder sibling, rubbing its back brusquely to encourage its little lungs. "Just a bit of clean-up and proud papa over there can cut the cords."

A moment was spent watching their second child open their eyes to the world, showcasing the same shade of soulful chocolate brown like its mother. Despite Sookie's desperation for a lungful of breath, Eric couldn't help but to steal her lips as they gazed upon the two little miracles that they had created between them.

"Ready?" Dr Ludwig inquired to which Sookie answered with a nod.

With a final push, the last of the afterbirth was expelled from Sookie's body that hummed and glowed with the aftermath of a thoroughly satisfying Fairy birth. "Need a cigarette, Hon?"

"That's quite alright," Sookie spoke in embarrassment, masking Eric's growl.

"You're up, Papa!" Ludwig informed to Eric who instantly lowered his incisors.

"Put those fangs away, Viking!" the tiny doctor scowled as she thrust the sterilised shears into his hands. "We'll do this bit the human way."

"Like this?" Eric asked nervously as he fumbled with the small surgical scissors.

"Were you a weakling as a human?" Ludwig scowled as she clamped down on his hand hard, and snipped the clamped cord neatly. "Do you have names yet?" the doctor requested while she started placing the first cord in a container preparing it to be sent to Pathology per the Prince of the Realm's strict instructions.

"This is Eva Hillevi Lis Northman," Eric spoke proudly of his firstborn daughter kissing the slightly damp soft hairs on her head that he recognised as the same shade as her mother's. A contented sigh escaped the infant's mouth in between her snores with the cool touch of her father. Sookie beamed equally proud as together they regarded the small bundle of joy that becoming 'one' had created. They were equally pleased that the name they had finally decided on seemed to suit the small baby girl who had come into this world, head first with a loud scream.

"Next!" the doctor demanded impatiently.

Eric quickly swatted away the doctor's interfering hands while he cut the second cord that connected his son to its mother. Eric's hand lingered tenderly over the unruly hair in the nape of his youngest's neck with a similar light shade of blonde to his. With the sudden sensation, the small arm instantly reached over to cover the swaddled back of his sister in protection. "Truly his father's son," Sookie observed with a watery smile.

"As long as they have their mother's fighting spirit and heart," he whispered against her lips as thumbs caressed away the happy tears that fell. Though he understood their meaning now, he still did not like the sight of them.

"Does the young man have a name?" Ludwig demanded while tapping her pen to her clipboard incessantly.

"Viggo Hemming Northman," Sookie spoke softly while she watched her children contentedly snooze on her deflating stomach, a perfect little entity of two.

"Very well," the doctor returned while scribbling away. "I will return shortly, unless you want for me to stitch the small tears when I return, you can have your vampire heal you up; though if he's unwilling I have some vampire blood in stock."

Eric's resounding growl gave answer enough before the doctor popped away to Niall's lab. He didn't hesitate to run bloodied fingers through her folds until he declared her fully healed once more. "How do you feel my Sookie?" he asked gently after resuming his former position beside her with both hands running over the two small forms of newfound life.

"Happy, elated, content and a little tired. I could eat," she returned with a shrug. "You?" Sookie requested as she ran her hands over the dried blood that had trickled out of his nose and ears all day.

"Not quite sure if I dare dream this is real," he answered truthfully and she indulgently pinched his arm to confirm he was fully awake causing him to chuckle. "Didn't think I could love you more until now. Thank you, Sookie Stackhouse."

"I believe it takes two, Eric," Sookie replied as she rested her head against his shoulder. "I should be thanking you. We should probably thank Niall for keeping these two safe all this time too."

"I suppose," Eric spoke begrudgingly.

They sat in silence for a good long while bonding to their children. A knock on the door announced the doctor's return now followed by a friendlier looking nurse. Ludwig instantly came to scrutinise the vampire's handiwork and sterilised the area for good measure. "Take it easy on your fairy, Viking. No matter how much blood you pour down that throat, she needs her rest. Isolde here will help you through the first few days and nights."

"Let's give these two their first bath," the nurse said brightly while she reached for the children who instinctively clung onto the fabrics of their mother and father's clothes. "Not quite ready to leave mom and dad yet," Isolde tittered at the tiny twosome, "Perhaps you will join us?" she proposed to Sookie and Eric.

"Please," Sookie answered even though she wondered how she would stand upright.

"I'll come set up the baths beside the bed," Isolde informed. "Are you okay for visitors? There's quite a crowd waiting."

"Just immediate family for now," Eric answered before Sookie invited in the whole town to disturb their little enclave of bliss. Her petulant protest was quickly kissed away as Isolde departed from the room with a chuckle.

"What is she?" Sookie asked Ludwig thinking it too rude to ask the nurse directly.

"Elfling," Ludwig informed without much care. "Natural nurturers," she supplemented before lowering her voice, "Completely inedible to vampires."

Sookie giggled at the thought, there wasn't a suspicious bone in her of any possible infidelity as she observed the adoring gaze of the vampire beside her. "You think this is for your benefit?" Ludwig feigned while cocking her head. "Do you know how difficult it is to keep your staff from being eaten all the time with injured Supes?"

"She seems very sweet," Sookie offered politely before they were interrupted by Jason and Brigette carrying in two small plastic bath tubs and their respective stands. Sookie's eyes lit up instantly at the sight of her brother who beamed proudly at his little sister and the two newborn additions to their family that for so long only seemed to be dwindling in numbers.

"They're so small," Jason said remembering just how little babies were. "Were ours ever this small?" he asked addressing his wife who simply smiled indulgently, a well-practiced response when it came to her husband. "Congrats, sis," he smiled warmly before kissing her forehead.

"Thanks, Jase," she whispered back. "Meet Viggo and Eva."

"They're beautiful," Brigette supplied while Jason looked on dumbfounded as Isolde entered the room with two buckets full of warm soapy water.

"Where are Pam and Niall?" Sookie asked suddenly, having expected them to come bolting through the door with her brother and his wife. For all the importance with which Pam had been anticipating the upcoming birth, Sookie figured Pam would be the first one in with racks of clothing options for her babies.

"They're duking it out on the lawn," Jason spoke with a stifled chuckle. "Them two have been going at it for hours."

"I take it Pam has not responded well to her newfound condition?" Eric asked rhetorically with a cocked brow that still proceeded to make Jason nervous years after taking the ancient vampire's blood.

"Niall seems to think they're having a fun game of dodge and chase," Brigette answered. "She's been anxious to be seen by Dr Ludwig so I'm sure she'll be in soon."

"Speak of the devil," Eric noted dryly as his eldest progeny arrived looking terribly flustered. If he hadn't been able to tell by her unusually dishevelled appearance, Eric could have easily discerned from her scent alone that she was freshly fucked by the Prince of the Fae, who followed in looking suitably smug. "I hear congratulations are in order."

Pam's nostrils flared as her wild eyes sought out the doctor, completely ignoring the sight of her new siblings. "You," she fumed pointing angrily at Ludwig. "Will remove this abomination from me right now!"

"Good luck with that, Toots," the doctor returned, completely unimpressed by the vampiress' aggressive demands. "You're vampire, anything I remove will just regenerate."

"Told you," Niall whispered huskily into her ear from behind as his hand gently caressed over her stomach. A frustrated scream was expelled from her lungs before mumbling a demand of a second opinion. She swiftly departed the room in search of her chosen outfits for the babies, thinking fashion was the best choice of distraction in a crisis.

"Ready?" Isolde requested as the tiny baths stood ready for the two infants. Sookie gave a nod as she and Eric both carefully tended to a child each and moved over to the side of the bed. The two cried a little at being separated but quickly quieted with their parents' presence and the warmth of the water.

"I can see the family resemblance," Brigette giggled when she watched Eric wash Viggo's impressive manhood causing the vampire to beam proudly at the compliment.

"Definitely a Stackhouse," Jason piped in before Eric could claim the honour to his own name, while Jason happily remembered that particularly proud moment when their own son was born.

"Brigant is more accurate," Niall informed with a scrutinised glance. "Definitely a Brigant that one."

"Oh indeed," Isolde agreed with an implied expertise while Ludwig let out a small grunt that seemed to suggest her concurrence.

Eric suppressed the growl he desperately wanted to expel as Sookie's hand came to soothe him, however, it did little to take away the insecurity he felt for the first time in his existence. The self-satisfied looks on Sookie's male relatives grated to no end causing him to nearly rub a little too aggressively with the soft towel against the delicate skin of his newborn son. He quickly helped Sookie get comfortable back into the bed and placed the twins in their previous positions as they continued the close skin to skin contact. Her hand tenderly caressed his cheek sensing his distress, "Perhaps you should see to Pam," she whispered, Eric gave a brief nod in agreement before kissing the crowns of the three most important beings in his existence.

"Jason, can you help me?" he requested, motioning towards the door carrying one of the used baths toward the bathroom across the hall.

"Sure, man," Jason responded, following suit with the other bath.

As soon as the tubs were emptied out Eric instantly shoved Jason against the door before he lowly commanded, "Drop your pants and show me your dick."

"You're usually a little more tender about this," Jason grumbled as he fumbled with the buckle. "You know with the romancing."

"Excuse me?" Eric demanded with a cocked brow that had Jason trembling with anticipation and involuntarily had his tongue jutting out in anticipation.

"You're usually so considerate, Lover," Jason whispered before moving in for a kiss but before reaching Eric's lips his body was slammed harshly into the wood of the door. He whimpered out a contented moan, "A little roughhousing, you know I love it when you do that."

"For fuck's sake," Eric growled yanking down Jason's pants in one swift move jutting his erection out roughly out of his underwear. Eric gulped silently at the sight as he was forced to admit that for the first time in his life he didn't measure up in that particular department.

"Fucking Fairies!" he spat out as he angrily departed the room leaving a befuddled Jason behind whose softening member was quickly tucked away with the mortification that this was not one of _those_ dreams. "Fucking Fairies and their giant fairy dicks," Eric grumbled on until he distractedly collided into Pam in the hall.

"Exactly!" Pam exclaimed hotly as tears sprung from her bleeding eyes. Eric didn't hesitate to pull her into an embrace as she continued to sob into the crook of his neck. "You so owe me for all this bullshit, Eric!"

"There, there," he cooed completely forgetting about his own irritations. "Tell you what, Pam. You get to decide on Jessica's punishment."

"Willa too?" she pouted unconvincingly as glee had quickly taken over for her momentary misery.

"You'll have to run it by me first," he sighed after a moment of contemplation. "You have free reign on Jessica though."

"Excellent," she purred with utter contentment. "Now show me to my mini Pam."

**A/N: I know it was all very sweet till I started making fun of Eric's manhood, I blame the Brigants for taking credit for Viggo's impressive equipment. Don't worry Eric's is still gracious and plentiful, fatherhood is just making our favourite Viking a little unsteady on his feet so I like playing up his insecurities while Pam is trying to grasp impending motherhood… **

**Special thanks to msbuffy again who managed to Beta this in record time :)**


	25. Chapter 25

**#25**

"Are you sure about this Pam?" Sookie asked while she caressed the hair on her eldest baby softly against her chest.

"This is what I want, and I want it now," the vampire in question returned in exasperation, annoyed at having to answer the same question over and over again.

"Go ahead then," Sookie instructed to her great-grandfather who stood at the helm of the exhumed grave while she leaned in to Eric who held their softly snoring son tightly to his chest in the matching carrier.

"It'll be alright," Eric soothed as he wrapped his free arm around the rest of his family. Sookie gave a reluctant nod before he kissed the crown of her head.

"Per your wishes my dear," Niall said with a gleam in his eyes before he let the strength of his Fae magic descend into the empty coffin. "She must bleed now."

"Happy to oblige," Pam grinned as she instantly tore into Jessica's delicate bone white flesh and squeezed it out harshly in the intended spot.

"Where am I?' came the strangled voice from down below.

"Welcome back," Pam purred contentedly. "Bill Compton, it has been awhile. We have catching up to do, you and I."

Wearily Bill stood up from his grave peering out to see a whimpering Jessica by Pam's elegantly shoed feet. "Jessica, you saved me from eternity in hell," he breathed out in gratitude though his progeny could only feign little of the same excitement toward her Maker.

"I thought they were more selective down there," Pam noted dryly while the silver tipped pump on her right foot quickly jutted out to kick Bill in the forehead forcing him to fall down again with a loud cackle. "We're not here to save you Bill, just to show you what you're missing. You'll go right back to where you came when we're done."

"What is the meaning of this?" Bill demanded with full affront.

"It's my birthday, Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanza, and my V-day all wrapped into one," Pam explained matter-of-factly.

"V-day?" Bill questioned with a note of confusion.

"Vampire birthday," she scoffed. "The night the most magnificent being in this world turned me."

"I'm surprised you can still see clearly with how far your head is stuck up his ass," Bill scoffed angrily.

"Really, Bill?" Pam drawled. "Can't even come up with a new tag line? You've had all that time to waste away and that's the best you can come up with?"

"I owe you no explanations, whore!" he spat back. While Niall had happily indulged his Pamela to run the show, there was no bone in his magnificent body that would let that comment go unnoticed. Bill scrambled in fear at the sudden appearance of the almighty Prince of the Fae when he pulled him up out of the grave and was left dangling in the air in the fairy's tight grasp. His human features grew sharp as frighteningly long fangs distended from his gums, causing Eric to self-consciously measure out his own shorter fangs in comparison.

"You dare speak to the mother of my children like that," Niall seethed, his thumb pressing hard into the larynx. "Apologise. Now!"

"I apologise," the Civil War veteran wheezed out instantly, though no one present was convinced that the apology was sincere and rather uttered out of pure strategy of survival. The fury in Niall's eyes made him briefly reconsider before he amended with more cause, "I am deeply sorry for my words, Pamela."

"Slight improvement," Niall replied before letting him crash to the hard ground. "But I still don't like you and I never will."

"If you permit," Bill addressed to the clear point of authority. "Your Highness, you are aware a vampire cannot procreate in the traditional sense."

"Guess again," the blonde vampiress smiled maliciously when she showed off the small bump on her stomach in profile. Unlike Sookie, Pam's pregnancy seemed to progress much in the same speed of that of an ordinary Fae causing her to show in mere days. "And I'm not the only one."

Bill stuttered over his response until his eyes fell on the blonde couple and their two new born babes. "Sookie?"

"Yes, Bill," she replied rather coolly, surprising herself in her emotional distance from the man she once considered her first love.

"You are a mother now?"

"No," Sookie answered. "I was to be a mother long ago and you stole that from me and from Eric."

"I did no such thing!" he returned indignantly.

"Yes, you did," Sookie continued in the same business-like tone as the Fae in her came to the forefront. "Remember that little deal you made with Marnie? Where you asked one of your men to shoot me so you could complete the spell by feeding me your enchanted blood, binding me to you?" Bill gulped audibly unsure how smart it was to lie to some of the most powerful creatures of the Supernatural world so instead he hung his head submissively before daring to look up again.

"Remember me?" Sookie asked as her features almost changed physically to match those of her great-grandfather. "I'm the Fae you banished from my being so that you could have the sweet and easily manipulated human side. You couldn't accept being a vampire so I wasn't allowed to be Fae, you fucking asshole!" Sookie's eyes had flared to the same heated shade as Niall's as a bolt of her light was flung at him, decimating the tiny testicles she had until that point always found a comical sight. Now they were just amusing in their sudden disappearance, not to mention Bill's horror at finding them missing with the jolt of pain. "Years I had to spend in this graveyard waiting till your stupid manipulating blood left our system, leaving my human counterpart at the mercy of your idiot progeny, ruining not only my life but Eric's in the process."

"It's where you belonged, you fucking Fairy," Bill seethed. "Claudine showed me the way. It's why I demanded you give up your light to me; it would have turned me human and separated the two of you by stealing your life essence, killing you in the process. _You _had no place in my sweet Sookie's life, _you _don't belong. Look at _you _with those, those abominations! I was doing you a favour!"

Eric flew out in outrage but before he managed to reach the surly vampire, he was already a miserable pile of goo by Sookie's hand as her light had painfully ignited into his chest.

"Shit," she breathed out before looking towards her great-grandfather while tears started brimming in her eyes. "Asshole got what he wanted; he stole the Fae out of me."

"Whoever told you that old wives' tale?" Niall asked with amusement.

"You did!"

"Right," he remembered vaguely. "That applied when you were separated from your Fae counterpart. The vampire wasn't misinformed on that."

"Oh," Sookie smiled happily. "Okay then, sorry I cut your punishment for Jessica short, Pam."

"Asshole deserved it," she shrugged. "But I do feel a little dissatisfied."

"As long as she's still able to bleed we can keep doing this over and over again," Niall offered while pointing at a crying Jessica. "We can all have a turn."

Pam's eyes lit up more brightly than ever before with that announcement as she encouraged Niall to do exactly that.

"Eric, no!" Sookie shrieked as she felt his intent clearly trickle through their bond.

"Come on," Eric pleaded while placing the wooden toothpick in Viggo's tiny hand who grasped onto it instinctively. "There's a good boy, hold on tight."

"Eric, our son is not killing Bill!"

"He wanted to die. He's going to die. He's already dead," Eric answered distractedly while encouraging his son to mimic a stabbing motion. "He's not harming anyone. Not really."

"You'll be harming me," Sookie whispered, the hurt clearly palpable to him in a myriad of ways.

"Very well," Eric sighed regrettably as he pulled the toothpick from his reluctant son, who seemed quite pleased with the prospect of taking out the dark haired vampire who had upset his mother. Suddenly Eric felt the blonde hairs on his behind scorch to a crisp after he uttered the words, "Soft human heart," a tone too loud.

"Sorry," he quickly amended offering along a chaste kiss to Sookie's lips.

"Who's up next?" Pam drawled as Bill returned reconstituted again, looking suitably shocked to have to endure another round. Hell was looking suddenly more bearable than what he was to experience here again. With a shake of her head, Sookie left them to it as she took her two babies inside, fearing they had been exposed enough for one night. They were never meant to see such violence but Bill calling her little miracles abominations had unearthed an anger and power she never experienced before and for that she could feel little shame. She was determined that when it came to her to children no one would stand in her way.

Isolde helped Sookie get the two snoozing children back into their respective travel carriers as she took in her former home. She wandered from room to room until she stopped in her former bedroom that had been set up for one child. She had painted it an ambiguous pastel green when she wanted to remain unaware of the sex. Her telepathy could usually determine the gender but with her own child she had not been able to until they emerged as twins in her womb.

"Sookie?" Eric asked after her as she seemed lost in thought in the unused nursery, staring out the window across the cemetery towards the Compton mansion.

"Hey," she responded with a short delay while she took in his tall and bloodied form when turning her head. "What are you doing here?"

"Cleaning up," he offered, showing off the bloodied hands that had happily ripped Bill Compton into the smallest pieces possible before succumbing to another satisfying pool of Bill goo.

"Oh," she nodded with a hint of aloofness before returning her gaze back out of the window seat. Eric made quick work of cleaning himself before taking a seat beside her and taking her hands in his. "You're not going back?"

"No," he answered finding the hint of sadness that glazed her eyes. "Killing Bill is surprisingly anti-climactic. Once was enough."

"I wish I could say the same," Sookie sighed.

"What's wrong älskling?" he whispered, pulling her chin up so she couldn't hide from him.

"I just feel so stupid," she confessed. "No matter what, Bill gets me to do what he wants. Whether I'm whole or apart."

"No, you acted like a mother," Eric corrected. "There is no shame in that. Only honour." She smiled tightly finding it hard to admit that perhaps Eric was more right than wrong with that observation. "We are blessed with two beautiful children but they belonged to the Supernatural world from the womb. There will be times when it is us against the world and it is our instinct that will have them defending them with our very lives. There is nothing stupid about that."

"I know," she returned not finding an argument to the contrary. "I wish it could be simpler for them."

"You mean that Viggo is at least of age before he kills his first vampire?"

"Preferably," Sookie snorted.

"Do you wish they had your sheltered upbringing?" Eric asked carefully. "Not knowing what or who they truly are until the first opportunist exploits them?"

Sookie sat silently just staring at Eric's blue eyes that were now undeniably the ones of his daughter. "If I had a choice then I think I would have preferred to know from day one," she finally answered after remembering all the struggles of her childhood and the strain it had caused her parents' marriage. "Will they be long?"

"I fear they hardly started," Eric replied. "They haven't even gotten to Jessica's punishment yet. Want to go home?"

She smiled at him, happy that he knew exactly what she needed, a quiet night in with their children. "Yeah, let's go home."

* * *

**A/N: Special thanks to msbuffy again for her wonderful beta skills.**

**For any of you who were following the story Deviations by ON3LoV3 and suddenly found it missing, it was removed most likely due to plagiarism of the story After by Anna Todd, which is a One Direction fanfic on Wattpad. I never read the story beyond its first chapters but I still had an up to date copy of it in my app's library and wanted to offer that to readers or the author in case it got pulled for content, but I soon discovered that Deviations was a copy of After. I made a side by side comparison and I'm pretty sure it got pulled for good reason. For those who want to continue on with the story the corresponding chapter to where Deviations was at is around chapter 140 in After2. ****I believe the entire story is complete and it's free to read on Wattpad****. The You Want Blood awards have been informed of the incident as Deviations won a prize there.**

**Back to this story… Bill got killed. Again. Yeah! This was specially done for suzyq591suzy and redjane12. As one forgot that Bill was already dead and hoped to see him die again and the other just wanted to kill Bill again and again. What can I say, I was happy to oblige along with Niall. We'll get to kill him again soon when it's time for Jessica's punishment. It will be a few days, I know you're all excited that these come quick and fast but I'm on holiday and I want to enjoy that free time and my early morning was already consumed by the above plagiarism. Look no cliffies this week… **


	26. Chapter 26

**#26**

"All right, Jessica dear, your turn," Pam expressed with a special hint of maliciousness that had Niall rubbing excitingly into her behind.

"I really don't want to do this," the redheaded vampire complained. "Wasn't taking Hoyt from me punishment enough?"

"That was Sookie's punishment for you," Pam informed with little patience. "All she did was return his stolen memories. You did the rest on your own. That is far from punishment in my book."

"_That _took him from me! He wants nothing to do with me!" Jessica screamed angrily.

"Tell him that," Pam shrugged in the direction of Jessica's incapacitated Maker. "He's the one who made you that way."

The young vampire's eyes instantly lit up with that realisation as she turned to Bill, happy to have found someone else to blame for her problems of her own making. "Like father, like daughter," Pam noted dryly under her breath so only Niall would hear.

"These better be like their mother," he murmured into her ear as he caressed the proud roundness of her belly.

"If you think I'm going to be a mother, you are strongly deluding yourself," she huffed in return. "You made them, you raise them. I have been reliably informed _that _is the way of the Fae."

"Pamela!"

"Don't you Pamela me!" she retorted hotly.

"Pamela, Precious," he continued more smoothly while nibbling at her neck, weakening her in the knees. "I know as well as you that you don't simply abandon anything that's yours."

"Maybe," Pam replied trying to evoke as much denial as possible in her tone. "You're distracting Jessica from her task."

"Jessica or you?" Niall murmured into the crook of her neck.

"Please tell me y'all are not having sex in front of me again," Jessica cringed as she had barely recovered from the sight earlier that night. Bill appeared to be reinforcing that plea though he lacked the physical strength to do so.

"If you don't hurry up we might, brat," Pam intoned. "Go on! Air your grievances before you kill the cocksucker!"

"Don't call him that!" Jessica shrieked in defence of her Maker.

"Bill has been gobbling down his own cocktail weenie for quite some time now," the blonde vampiress noted dryly. "I'd say the description is rather accurate. Get on with it!"

"He's my Maker," the redhead whimpered. "I can't."

"This is why it's called a punishment, Jessica," Pam snipped back. "You know, you make Twatlips Sarah seem appealing in comparison. Now start skinning him like l showed you!"

They had just finished fastening in the carriers into the back of the car when little Eva stirred with a face of discontent that mirrored her father's poorly hidden one. Sookie pulled the infant to her chest resting her head on her shoulder while making soothing noises as she bounced up and down on the balls of her feet. She glanced at Eric and saw the pensive thoughts flitter across his clouded eyes.

"What's wrong with her?" Eric asked softly as Eva refused to quiet down.

"She's picking up on your mood," Sookie explained as the girl continued to cry. "What's wrong?"

Eric didn't answer with more than with a sigh.

"Godric?" Sookie probed tentatively.

"Bill said he came from Hell," Eric returned with a hint of insecurity. It sounded ridiculous to him as the Viking himself had given up on religion long ago, or at least the human image of it. "What if?"

"Godric's not in Hell," Sookie spoke with conviction. "I'm sure of it. I was there, he was Heaven-bound."

Eric nodded but both Sookie and Eva picked up on his lack of conviction. "Let me," Eric offered, pulling Eva from her arms. She whimpered some in her father's arms but soon quieted down.

"She's a real Daddy's girl," Sookie sighed with a hint of jealousy while stroking her soft tearstained cheek. "Go on, Eric."

He arched his brow in question as he continued to soothe his encompassing hand over Eva's back.

"Go on and ask Bill, I'll be here waiting," she explained. "Although I'm inclined to believe he was in a Hell of his own making rather than the literal one."

He whispered a thank you against her lips before kissing her softly in gratitude of her understanding, however; as soon as he tried to unload Eva in her arms the quiet and content baby instantly turned unruly again. "Just take her," Sookie sighed as the little girl's hands desperately reached for her father's while in her mother's grasp. "Make sure she doesn't witness another death, please?"

"No killing in front of the baby," he promised sincerely before speeding off with Eva who rested contentedly in his strong arms.

Niall held up the offending piece of flesh and studied it with scrutiny. He wondered how a man could live with something so inadequate but, then again, it explained so much of the brooding vampire's behaviour. "Pamela, catch!" he warned before tossing the former appendage her way. She shrieked in horror as the wet flesh came into contact with her bare skin before falling to the ground before her. As if it were on fire and with panic in her eyes, she happily sacrificed her elegant pump as she pummelled the piece of flesh to smithereens while Bill watched in horror as the last bits of his masculinity were reduced to dust.

"Tell me about Claudine," Niall commanded while Bill remained defiantly silent. The Prince of the Fae in turn gestured to the reluctant Jessica to proceed with the intricate shedding of pale skin.

"Asshole," Pam grumbled as she took her position beside Niall again while brushing away at the point of impact where she swore Bill cooties now resided. "What was that for?"

"Claiming you would leave me with our children," he returned. "Who informed you on that anyhow?"

"Andy Bellefleur," she shrugged. "We're Facebook friends. I sent out an invitation to him for my Kill Bill party. He and Jason will be here soon, and Ginger should be here any moment now with my custom yellow jumpsuit." Pam was quite pleased with that; she had given instruction to her tailor to create the piece from the moment the annoyingly named Vampire Bill walked through the doors of Fangtasia. Without his demise the outfit had hung tauntingly in her closet for years reminding her of missed opportunities much like that ridiculous red and white dress she had often caught Eric nuzzling over the past years.

"Back to Claudine, asshole!" Pam demanded as she misted Bill's exposed flesh with colloidal silver as the whimpering vampire continued in his surly silence.

"Mab," he gasped finally as the pain became excruciating when the female vampire doused him for a second time. "I was helping her harvest the fairy sparks. She's the one that sent Marnie here."

"It was a trap you set for Eric then!" Pam ascertained as she pierced his eye with a hot silver needle.

"Yes!" he screamed out in agony. "Please just kill me now."

"I promised Sookie not to," Eric smirked, suddenly appearing in the singular line of vision now available to him holding a very pink bundle in his arms. A nasty scowl set a furrow in Eva's brow with the close proximity and with great concern Eric checked the back of her diaper for any leakage, fumbling to keep the diaper on straight but failing miserably.

"You make quite the father," Bill taunted with palpable insincerity. "If only your Maker could see you now. Completely at the mercy of little mortal women and your emotions."

Satisfied that his daughter's discontent was purely directed at the detested vampire, he protectively pulled her to his chest as he menacingly hovered over the Civil War veteran. "You know nothing of my Maker," he seethed in full rage.

"Don't I?" Bill countered as Jessica's eyes started to tear up again, knowing that the worse Bill taunted his tormentors the more she would have to harm him. "Admit it, your Maker means more to you than any other. He's more important than your precious Sookies or those abominations."

"Don't presume, Compton!" Eric spat out while Eva shifted uncomfortably, her eyes wanting to see the annoying vampire who was upsetting her Daddy.

"It's why you're here, isn't it?" he returned smugly. "Need to know where your Maker ended up?"

Eric growled and a hiss escaped Eva's lips. A small hidden smile escaped from Pam at the sight of the menacing little Eva Northman but the vampiress' mouth quickly fell into its usual tight line when Niall caught a glimpse from the corner of his amused eye.

"He's in Hell," Bill returned gleefully. "Exactly where he belongs."

"Bill, don't," Jessica begged. Her Maker though, had very little to live for and put everything forth to exact any form of revenge on the vampire who had stolen everything from him.

"You're quite the manipulator, Bill," Eric spoke coolly as he tried to mask the full range of anger and anguish that was rushing through his system. "But you've never been a talented liar."

Bill laughed like a man without a care in the world. He had stopped feeling the pain now as it simply become a state of being at this point. "Look at you," Bill exclaimed. "Can't even hold a baby properly, and _her," _he said with a derogatory glance towards Pam who was in that moment self-consciously rubbing her small baby bump. "She's still a child; she couldn't even take care of her own progeny because all she'll ever chase after is you. You two have got to be the worst choice for parents in the world."

"That's not true," Jessica spoke ever so softly in defence of the vampires who had fostered her in her early days. "Pam and Eric took good care of me when you didn't want me."

"And look how well you have turned out!" Bill spat out, his tone dripping with disappointment. "Can't even keep a mortal man by your side."

"That isn't true," Jessica whimpered.

"So he didn't run with his tail between his legs from the moment he figured out what you truly are?"

"Yes, but-"

"Enough!" Eric interrupted with a chilling menace. "You will speak of Godric. Now."

"Of course, your _precious_ Maker," he postured with maniacal glee. "It doesn't matter if I tell you he's living it up with my Maker in the pits of Hell or that he's noticeably absent, does it? You'll never know for sure till you fall on a stake, and that, Eric Northman, is why I will die happy tonight over and over again. You. Will. Never. Know."

Eric's temper flared with the undeniable truth offered. One he couldn't argue against but Eric refused to grant Bill the satisfaction of the knowledge that his anger was boiling over to hellish temperatures. His daughter was, however, far less schooled in such matters as her face fired impossibly red with furrowed brows.

"What is she doing?" Pam asked cautiously. "If she's defecating you get her away from here right now, Eric!" The vampiress' sensitive nose twitched with horror at the mere thought and she cautiously took a step back.

"No!" Jessica screamed when she saw the small spark ignite from between the pudgy fingers of the infant faeling. Before anyone else took notice, Bill was covered in a deadly light storm to which a delayed Jessica had latched on in protection of her Maker. It had become too much for the young vampire, she couldn't stand to see him die one more time.

The telling high-pitch tone of Fangtasia's favourite employee rang out through the wooded cemetery as she took in the sight of the deadly baby incinerating two vampires at the same time. The garment bag and samurai sword fell to the ground as Ginger fainted and tumbled to the ground.

"Good job mini-Pam," her older supposed-namesake spoke adoringly while petting the giggling baby's blond hair causing her to completely forget her disappointment for her specialised outfit going unused once more. "Like mother, like daughter." She cast a curious glance at Niall for the possibility of another repeat performance of the resurrection of Bill but he merely shook his head, much to Pam's disappointment.

"Not a word of this to Sookie," Eric warned and without pause they agreed.

Pam cast a glance at the double puddle of goo humming a note of discontent. "Tragic; can we close up this grave once and for all now? You know it's moments like these I miss being able to urinate."

Niall instantly perked up dropping his trousers in the process causing Eric to groan again at the impressive sight of what could easily pass as a fire hose, "Allow me, Precious."

**A/N: I'll fully admit I pulled a True Blood by killing Jessica as I no longer had a use for her, true death seemed the way to go… Bill got quite annoying there, honestly it wasn't my intention he just brings it out in me. So Eva got the honours instead of Viggo, girl power and all… and yes it's really wrong to chant a murdering baby but somehow it felt okay… right?**

**Many thanks to msbuffy for cleaning up after my mistakes again, now if only she'd do the same to my house :D**


	27. Chapter 27

**#27**

No one had spoken a word to Sookie but they had all seemingly forgotten that she communicated with her own children with ease on account of her telepathy. While she initially had intended to run the riot act at Eric for the occurrence of Eva's slip, she had soon quieted when she took in his general mood. She shushed him when he tried to offer an explanation and the ride home was apprehensively silent. With perfect synchronicity Eva and Viggo were put to bed in their cribs by their parents who exchanged nary a word throughout the now familiar routine.

"Sookie, I-" Eric started, but he was instantly cut off by Sookie's upheld hand as soon as they were in the privacy of their own adjoining bedroom. Fearing the worst of her temper he stiffened in preparation of her reprimand but was caught by surprise when she instead stepped in and hugged him. The bond had spoken volumes for her, alongside the memories in Eva's mind. She couldn't blame him for anything.

Eric was sullen, not unlike the way she had been after accidentally killing Bill. The sharpness of the antebellum vampire's tongue had hit a nerve in him just as he had with her. "Come here," she whispered when the tension in his tough muscles refused to relent.

"You're not mad?" he probed carefully, even though he could find no evidence of it in the bond as his hands carefully snaked around her body.

"Disappointed," she acknowledged. "But you didn't encourage Eva; we'll just have to be careful with our moods around her."

Eric hummed in agreement as he sank his nose into her hair, relishing in the scent of sunshine that lingered there.

"Godric knew his sins and he atoned for them," she spoke softly into his chest. "You know that, right? He's not Bill."

"He's not Bill," Eric repeated in agreement as he sank down onto the side of the bed with his arms still lingering around her waist. "Thank you, Sookie," he spoke earnestly finding her eyes, without shame displaying the wetness that resided in his own orbs.

"What for?" She smiled kindly as she stepped in closer between his out-turned legs.

"For understanding," he answered as a bloody tear ran from the corner of his eye.

"I could say the same for you," she returned, in memory of the way he had consoled her earlier that night when she had accidentally killed Bill. She kissed the tear away that ran down his cheek before her lips found his cheeks. He didn't need to ask what he needed from her as she effortlessly moved her hands, finding bare skin in her exploration while she tugged and pulled at the fabric that covered it, until nothing was left on his impressive physique.

The need in his kiss, which almost spoke of desperation, soon fell to a more gentle and leisurely pace as he relaxed with her loving attentions. Sookie stepped out of the wrap dress, falling instantly shy upon realisation that she was standing in front of such a beautiful creature in a ratty pair of underpants, a nursing bra, and a few extra pounds.

"You're beautiful, no matter what," Eric said earnestly when he sensed her sudden embarrassment, and, though she felt the truth in his words, it was harder for her to feel those for herself. Pulling her close he kissed softly across the remnant round of her stomach. "This glorious body brought forth the two most amazing beings in the world," Eric spoke gratefully as he lowered the less than graceful pair of panties.

With a glint of mischief in his eyes he moved his attention to the nursing bra. "Now this is new even to me," he informed excitedly as he expertly removed the clasps that held up the fabric of the cups over her engorged breasts. He groaned contentedly at the game of peek-a-boo he could engage in while framing her breasts in all their magnificence. "I can just imagine all sorts of fun we can have with these, älskling."

"Eric, stop," Sookie said with a small giggle of embarrassment while she tried to move her hands to unbuckle the very practical but in her mind extremely unsexy bra.

"Leave it on," he requested huskily as he stilled her hands by reaching for both her wrists and pulling them to his chest.

"Eric," she protested moving her arms against the direction to which he pulled her.

"So beautiful," he whispered moving in closer for a tender kiss causing her to stop pulling away from him and finally allowing her body to meld towards his. He released his grip on her wrists and allowed his hands to explore the soft curves of her body. A painful jolt ran through the bond sharply along with a strangled hiss when he innocuously brushed over a sensitised nipple and squeezed at the firm round of her breast. His hands were instantly off any part of her body while he offered a worried apology to her lips, but she soon entwined her fingers with his.

"It's a little sensitive," she whispered almost apologetically, bringing his touch back to her body. "Just have to be gentle with me for a while."

"I can do gentle," he smirked, a breath of relief escaping his lips.

"More baby powder!" Pam demanded.

"I'm not quite sure that's going to help anymore," Ginger said carefully.

"More!" Pam screamed at her and in her impatience simply doused her thighs and Ginger in the white powder. "Try again!"

Ginger coughed harshly as she desperately sought out a clear breath, and then quickly ran to the bathroom to cleanse her throat. "Useless," Pam muttered to herself in the mirror while she continued to tug at the yellow leather jumpsuit that seemed stuck on her thighs.

"Argh!" the blonde vampiress screamed out in frustration as the 'Kill Bill' pantsuit ripped in two along with a white cloud of powder that exploded around her.

"What's wrong, Precious?" Niall asked with concern through the firmly shut door that was to remain closed until Pam would re-emerge in her costume as the 'Bride.' An aggravated, "Go away!" was flung through the heavy wood before another harrowing scream was heard only to be echoed by the shrill and high-pitched one belonging to Ginger.

Giving no caution to Pam's warning not to enter the closet under any circumstances until she was done, the door swung open as the last of the white dust settled to the floor.

"What is this?" she seethed while gesturing wildly at the off coloured lines on her thighs and stomach.

"I believe those are stretch marks," Ginger said bluntly while she brushed away some of the powder from the bone white vampire to inspect it further. "Yep, definitely stretch marks."

"Oh my God," Pam trembled with fear as she took in her reflection properly for the first time in her existence. "I'm fat!"

"What's that noise?" Sookie whispered with a small yawn as she nuzzled contentedly into Eric's bare chest.

"Pam," Eric answered while he caught the gist of her upset with his heightened senses.

"Should you go to her?" she asked reluctantly as her hands grabbed on to him subconsciously in protest when she heard the second set of screams.

"No," Eric chuckled when Sookie grabbed on even tighter. "Niall got her into that mess so he gets to clean it up."

Sookie swatted his chest in admonishment, but it was rather half-hearted as she was somewhat inclined to agree before they were interrupted by the whimpering cries of the twins. "I'll get them," Eric offered when he sensed the reluctance in her tired body to get up from the bed again. Eric had been more than gentle as if she were made of spun glass but he had made sure to make it last to allow the physical connection to strengthen their tie and heal the sharp wounds inflicted by Bill. _His_ words held no value to them any longer; they had both agreed that this was right, that this was best.

As far as they were now concerned, Bill could go to Hell. Literally.

"They need to eat," Sookie informed Eric, beckoning him to her from beneath the covers. The sudden sight of him stole her breath away when he re-entered the room. She feared she might never have any more children as surely her ovaries were exploding with the image before her; Eric in his full, naked, Viking glory tenderly holding the two swaddled bundles to his chest whispering sweet words of his ancient tongue that promised the nourishment of Mom. Sookie positioned herself in a more comfortable position and placed a soft cloth beside her as Eric placed one child to either breast and secured them with the feeding pillow before he seated himself beside her. To Eric this would be image of happiness that would sustain him through the remainder of his entire existence.

"I'm keeping an eye on you," Sookie spoke sternly to Eva after she finished burping her. The child simply laughed with little bubbles escaping from between her lips thwarting the reprimanding resolve of her mother instantly. A soft kiss was placed to her forehead before she was placed beside her brother on the large bed in between their parents who settled beside them, foreheads resting to each other.

"Heaven on Earth," Eric whispered to the shell of Sookie's ear and she couldn't help but agree as their hands caressed over the soft downy hairs of their children.

"Perhaps it is best you leave," Niall said to the dim-witted bottle blonde who didn't quite know how to react to the sobbing blonde in the Prince of the Fae's arms. Ginger had only seen Pam break down once before and that was because of Eric. Ginger understood that pain then but she was completely dumbfounded what had upset the vampiress so. With a curt nod she got up and left the expansive closet as fast as she could.

"Pamela, darling," he soothed too little avail.

"Bill's right, I'm a big fat abomination. I'm carrying one and I'm sleeping with one," she sobbed. "I'm wholly unfit to be a mother."

His hand grasped at her chin strongly forcing his gaze on her. She recognised that look; it was the same flare that ignited with Sookie's inner-Faery that saw the first death of Compton that night. It was a scary place to be at the end of that gaze.

"You like Eva," he pointed out harshly.

"I guess she's ok."

"Is she an abomination?" Niall demanded, which she instantly denied by shaking her head. "So why would ours be any different? As for being fat, preposterous!" he bristled. "You are rounded with child; you are a woman at her finest! When you become a mother you will adapt just as Sookie has."

"I'm not Sookie," she admitted with a small voice, a truth that grated on her ever since the telepath's appearance in Eric's life. "I'll never be Sookie. She was born for this. I was born to be barren for eternity."

"Things change," he returned as his hand caressed over her stomach. "Mostly for the better."

"You're probably right," Pam sniffed and as soon as the last tears settled Niall gently wiped away the evidence with his handkerchief.

"So beautiful behind the mask," he noted with satisfaction as a small smile appeared. He clapped his hands, ridding the room and Pam of all the excess baby powder before sitting her down on the upholstered bench. "You know there is another yellow suit you once promised to wear for me," Niall said, reminding her of the yellow Wal Mart suit that she had swiped from Sookie's house; the one in which she had become a mother to Tara. Niall opened a drawer and placed the pair of sweats beside her on the bench while he dropped to his knees to remove the remnant leather pant legs still attached to the bottom of her legs one by one.

Indulgently she picked up the sweater and unfolded it when a small box tumbled out into her lap. A look of surprise fell over her face as Niall's hand instantly reached for it and lifted the lid to her.

"Marry me?"

**A/N: Special thanks to msbuffy again for sorting out my messes.**

**I have officially boarded the Niall/Pam ship, despite the necessary bleach I had to assault my brain with over their spaghetti antics for weeks now. They've even won over my elusive graphics muse as I discovered how easy it is to add a baby bump in Photoshop, see the results on the blog.**


	28. Chapter 28

**#28**

"Why the hell would you ask me that?" Pam snipped derisively. "It's so... _human_." The last word to fall from her lips was expressed with a predictable tone of disgust by the blonde vampiress.

"Precious," Niall sighed indulgently while he continued to hold the ring up to her, eagerly awaiting an answer.

The glint in her eyes shifted from stifled surprise to a worthy appraiser, "Cartier," she mused with a hint of approval and she removed it from its velvet encasing and held it up for scrutiny, "Clear cut, 4.99 carats. You did well."

"And?"

"I'll keep it, I guess," the vampiress replied with a tiny shrug as she allowed him to slip the large diamond encrusted ring over her delicate finger. Pam wiggled them appreciatively, catching the light in the brilliantly cut gems. "I like."

"Good," Niall spoke with a chuckle and he seated him beside her. "We'll be wed in a fortnight."

"Are you insane?" she questioned with full affront. "If you think I'm waddling down the aisle with this... this _bump_, you've got another thing coming!"

"But we will be wed?" he teased with a glint in his eyes.

She tried to hide the smile that uncharacteristically graced her face, but he had already caught it so she let it stand. "Yes," Pam finally agreed before her lips were stolen away by far more eager ones. "Yes, I'll marry you."

The kiss was deepened while his hand snaked over the bare expanse of her belly, leaving it to rest there. "I'm in charge of your wardrobe though," she added as an afterthought midway through their kiss.

"I would expect nothing less," Niall whispered against her lips.

"What the hell was that?" Pam screamed out in sudden fury.

"That's just someone greeting their father," Niall chuckled with a soft gesture over her baby bump, seeking out the kicking foot again.

"Well, it better fucking stop!" she growled down at her stomach. It ceased momentarily but, much to Niall's amusement, as soon as Pam relaxed the kicking returned with an even stronger force.

...

"Sookie said no," Willa spoke carefully.

Pam's eyes narrowed down to menacing slits, "What do you mean she said no?"

Eric cast a curious glance up towards his two progenies from his reclined position where Eva happily snored away while Viggo was convinced his black wife beater was the most interesting thing in the world. He wondered briefly how was wise it had been for Willa's punishment to be assigned as Pam's wedding planner. He initially thought it too mild but reluctantly agreed with Sookie's encouragement; now he feared it was perhaps a bit too much for Willa.

"She thinks they're too young," Willa answered with apprehension, fearful for another explosion of Pam's volatile mood. "They won't even be able to walk down the aisle."

"We'll juice them up with some vamp blood," Pam informed dismissively as her perfectly manicured nails continued to leaf through another stack of hefty bridal magazines. "A few of Eric's drops and those teacups will be running down the aisle on those little bow legs with ease."

"Pamela," Eric growled admonishingly causing Viggo and Eva to giggle contentedly with the vibrations on his chest. "If Sookie says no, it's no."

"That's not fair," his eldest progeny huffed out petulantly. "Mini-Pam and Mini-Eric are meant to be my flower girl and ring bearer. Who else am I going to ask?"

"No," Eric repeated sternly. "_Viggo _and_ Eva," he_ continued, emphasising their true names once more to his wayward child. "Are not props for your wedding."

"I know," she suddenly perked up. "They can be in a sled pulled forth by brilliant white unicorns." In response, Willa diligently wrote down Pam's latest request.

"Pamela, enough!" Eric commanded and out of fear for Eva's reprisal he purposefully calmed himself down when Pam muttered some unkind words about their mother.

"You could ask Jason's eldest daughters to be flower girls," Willa offered in suggestion. "Ginger has a little boy."

"Ginger has a son?" Eric asked with sudden interest as Eva's little hand grabbed onto his finger.

"Yes, _Eric_," Willa answered shyly while hiding behind a curtain of her hair.

Eric pulled his finger up to his lips to softly kiss the little hand that held on tightly to it, closing his eyes briefly to relish in the tender touch of his daughter.

"Does he smell?" Pam demanded impatiently.

"Eric does smell a bit bad," Willa replied carefully. "Nothing too bad."

"Excuse me, I'm right here," Eric spoke sharply when his eyes opened again and narrowed down onto Willa's. "I may carry a bit of sick on my clothes from the babies now and then, but I do not _smell a bit bad."_

"Of course you don't," she replied all a fluster. "But Ginger's son does."

"She named her son Eric?" Pam questioned with an arched brow.

"Well, his full name is Master Eric Jameson, but he goes by Eric," Willa explained.

"Does he look like me?" Eric asked with a wince.

"No," Willa giggled as she took in her Maker's sigh of relief. "He has hair the colour of a fire engine truck and freckles all over."

"Denied," Pam said with horror at the child's inevitable clash with her proposed colour scheme. "Guess you're up mini-Er..." The vampiress quickly amended when the horrific sight of a red-headed namesake now came to mind, "Viggo."

Willa silently underscored the word unicorn twice adding several question marks.

...

"So will you do it?" Pam demanded.

"You really think I'm the right person to ask?" came the slightly sceptic reply. "I mean maid of honour is a big deal."

"You're questioning my choices,'' she growled out crossing her arms over her chest, which was becoming more difficult by the day with her rapidly progressing pregnancy. "Maybe I _should _ask someone else."

"Now hold on, biotch," Lafayette replied with his hand still leaning against the inner doorframe. "You's the one showing up at _my _door unannounced with a giant badonkadonk in the front. Give a brotha some time to digest."

Pam merely looked at him pointedly for a well-counted thirty seconds before she announced, "Time!"

...

"Tell Karl it's Pam," she spoke with a very direct threat that had Willa fearing for her own un-life even though it was clearly directed at the rude representative of Chanel on the other end of the line. "Yes, _that_ Pam. The one that never ages."

"Hold please."

"No I don't need _a _dress," Pam informed in a clipped tone. "I need at least ten."

Willa nudged her gently pointing at the list in her neat handwriting.

"Right," Pam amended. "And some bridesmaid dresses too."

...

"What do you think?" Willa asked nervously while she shifted on the balls of her feet in Fangtasia's basement.

"What do I think?" Pam fumed. "What. Do. I. Think!"

Willa bit her lip anxiously preparing for the onslaught of her elder sister's all-encompassing fury.

"I told you to get me a unicorn and you bring me this?" she screamed while waving her hands out wildly at the sight. "What do you think, Lafayette?"

"Bitch looks dope," he shrugged before the icily cool orbs of Pam persuaded him instantly of other thoughts. No glamour necessary. "I mean she looks awful, absolutely awful. Willa, what was yous thinkin'?"

"Well it was this or a horse with a horn attached," Willa answered testily.

"I ask for a unicorn and you bring me Sarah Newlin 'dressed' as unicorn," she screamed out in aggravation causing Sarah to tremble further on her already unsteady legs. "Get me a FUCKING unicorn!"

...

"Willa, hun, you okay?" Sookie asked as she saw the young vampire furiously work behind her laptop on the dining table. "Can I get you a New Blood?"

"Thanks, Sookie," she smiled politely while she momentarily released her tired eyes from the spreadsheet with mind boggling numbers.

"Pam's not being too hard on you is she?" Sookie tested with worry as she sat beside the young vampire after placing the drink beside her. Viggo contentedly sat in her lap pulling at the long locks of her hair while Eva had happily settled in with Willa whose calming presence had made her one of her favourite people much to Pam's dissatisfaction.

"I can handle Pam," Willa replied while taking a sip of blood. "It's her spending that worries me."

"Let me see," Sookie said, gesturing for the laptop. A small frown appeared between her eyebrows that only grew deeper with each additional page she scrolled down. It didn't take long for the father of her babies and his eldest vampire child to appear in front of her as her anger grew larger with the numbers.

"Pamela Swynford de Beaufort, you are not spending this much money on your wedding day!" Sookie exclaimed to the bored looking vampire.

"Eric said I could have what I wanted," she shrugged in return. "This is what I want. He can afford it, my Maker has more money then there is water on this earth."

"I don't care whether Eric can afford it or not!" Sookie shrieked. "You do not need ten wedding dresses."

"I so do!" she screamed back. "I need options!"

"You can have _one _wedding dress and _one _reception dress," Sookie proclaimed sternly. "That's it, and you are not spending the equivalent of what would get a third world country out of its national debt on a single wedding day."

Pam huffed petulantly before presenting her most innocent and pleading look towards Eric knowing he would instantly cave. To her horror, he quickly looked away and muttered, "Listen to Sookie."

"Have a seat Pam," Sookie said sharply while Pam's mouth was still falling wide with shock. "We're going through every single item till we bring this total down to an acceptable number."

Pam groaned and, with much pomp and circumstance, she pulled out a chair and seated herself displaying her chagrin with the entire situation. She eyed her Maker from the corner of her eye who did his best to remain neutral in the situation and defensively took Viggo on his lap who did his best to stand up straight on his father's lap and provide a helpful distraction.

"Have I mentioned how much I miss Fairy Sookie to you lately," Pam growled in his native tongue before receiving a slightly painful zap from Eva.

...

"Oh Niall," she whispered seductively into his ear in a sing-song.

"What is it precious?" he replied waking from his nap.

"Sookie's taking away all my dresses," she pouted looking particularly devastated.

"Not to worry my sweet. What my Pammy wants, my Pammy gets."

…

"I'll take that one in pink," Pam said disdainfully not giving the food item much of a glance. "What do you mean there's no such thing as spaghetti flavouring? Make it happen then!"

"Pam," Sookie tried to soothe as panic was soon striking fear in Willa's eyes again. "I don't think anyone but Niall would enjoy that flavour."

"So?" Pam demanded with little interest.

"I could give it a go," Jason shrugged between the many bites of samples that were splayed out before them. "Sounds good to me."

"Maybe a groom's cake?" Sookie offered apologetically to the very accommodating cake decorator who had already offered to make a test batch of the desired flavour.

"Yes," Pam agreed with sudden excitement as she demanded the photo Willa had carefully archived in a neat portfolio. "See this, I want his head to be the groom's cake."

"Is this your future husband?" the cake decorator asked congenially.

"No!" Pam said aghast. "Only the blonde bimbo over there ever fell for his snake oil charms. Not once but twice."

"Hey!" Sookie returned slightly insulted. "I wasn't in my right mind."

"What was your excuse the first time round?" Pam intoned while cocking her head pointedly shutting Sookie up instantly. "As I was saying I want his head, decapitated and on a spike. Make sure there's lots of blood." The cake decorator's face turned incredibly pale though she did manage to nod briefly.

"Pam!" Sookie shrieked.

"Shut it, Sookie!" the vampiress hissed while continuing to ignore her wildly waving arm. "It's my wedding; I'll do whatever I fucking want! If I want Bill's head on a stake, I'll get Bill's bloody head on a stake." She turned to address the cake decorator again. "Which reminds me," she noted with a harsh stare towards Sookie, "Make sure he's _extra _veiny."

"Pam!" she yelped out again with the same wild hand movements, forcing the vampire to finally look down to where she was gesturing.

"Oh, bugger," the vampiress exhaled when she took in the bloody puddle on the floor. "There go my pumps."

...

..

**A/N: Special thanks to msbuffy again for sorting out my messes and saving me from pitch forks ;).**

**I've gone a little overboard with Pam and her wishes so there are a multitude of pictures on the wordpress site (hisviks … dot … wordpress … dot …. com) and if someone is really good at baking novelty cakes... I would so love to see Bill's head on a spike cake and it doesn't have to be spaghetti flavoured at all ;)**

**I wrote a little one shot crack fic because of Meridian's micro fic Pam's Gift which is on her blog (addicted2godric … dot … wordpress … dot ... com) because it was rather infectious feel free to check out my one shot that came from it, it's called Coldfinger and could be very loosely related to the Thanksgiving Fixin's as there is some Niall, Pam and spaghetti...**


	29. Chapter 29

**#29**

"I really liked those pumps," Pam continued in her state of shock as the fluids continued to drip from between her legs. "And this dress. I loved this dress! I hate you little fuckers!"

The crowd of cake testers stared wide-eyed at the female vampire. Pam was already a fascinating sight; had she still been fully human by now she would have toppled over with the weight of her expanded midriff. No one was quite sure what to say when Pam stopped her usual yelling at the movements in her belly and suddenly began to wail uncontrollably over her ruined wardrobe.

By now they had learnt that when it came to Pam's hormone-induced outbursts it was best not to acknowledge them, if one cared for their continued existence that is. Ginger only barely survived her last injuries. However, what exactly to do with the vampire that barely showed an emotion aside from frustration, anger, and boredom kept the room frightfully silent.

"Pam, maybe you should sit down," Sookie said carefully.

The vampiress blinked away the bloody tears before regaining her regal composure again. Without acknowledging the rest of those present she lifted a napkin and hastily wiped away any evidence of the outburst. "I'm fine," she declared stoically. "Nothing to worry about."

"Pam, your water broke," Sookie pointed out. "I don't think it's supposed to be that bloody."

"I'm a vampire. Of course it's going to be bloody," she scoffed.

"I think we should call Dr. Ludwig, regardless," Sookie spoke seriously.

"Whatever," Pam shrugged as a small tremor ran through her body. A small frown appeared with the slight tightening, "If this is what labour feels like I don't know what these human women are whining about. It doesn't hurt at all."

"Famous last words," Dr Ludwig grinned with a special hint of malice as she suddenly appeared with the Prince of the Fae by her side.

"Niall!" his intended shrieked. "Close your eyes! You're not supposed to see any of this!"

"That only goes for the dress, hookah," Lafayette informed as he resumed sampling another slice of cake and throwing in an exceptionally loud moan to express his approval of that particular flavour.

"Hey, gimme some of that!" Jason demanded jealously to which Lafayette cautiously guarded the coveted piece of cake.

"Out!" the little doctor commanded to the squabbling humans, who proceeded to do so while wrestling with the contented plate. "Let's get you to the birthing suite," she instructed to a reluctant Pam who was still upset a special one hadn't been built just for her and was now forced to reuse Sookie's.

The nurse, Isolde, was already awaiting the small group setting up the room for all possible needs. Unlike Sookie's delivery, Pam's was an unchartered one, even for an experienced physician such as Ludwig. On top of that she was carrying the children of the reigning Prince of the Fae, in contrast to her relatively relaxed stance with the human hybrid's straightforward birth, the doctor was now taking every single precaution.

"Here?" Pam asked, gesturing to the examination table, looking unimpressed by the room that had been specially painted pink by orders of Niall. Ludwig was surprisingly mute as she swallowed her usual snark and simply nodded.

"How are you feeling?" the doctor inquired as Isolde scribbled down anything of note.

"I could drain a bitch," Pam shrugged. "What am I supposed to be feeling?"

"Pain? Pressure? Discomfort?" Isolde suggested but simply got a shake of the head with the extensive list she continued to rattle off after which the nurse proceeded to take a series of measurements.

"Did you practice the breathing techniques as I showed you?" the doctor questioned sceptically.

"As I told you then, I haven't breathed for a century. Why should I start now?"

Ludwig tried desperately to swallow the grumble from her throat, but failed to do so miserably before exploding in outrage, "Because it's the best pain management available to you!"

"These tremors, they're the contractions, correct?" Pam pointed out as another was registered on the monitoring device to which the doctor nodded. "It just feels tight. That's all. Listen poppet, I've faced far greater adversaries than a couple of fae mutts shimmying out of my Slip 'N Slide. I'll handle this just fine."

"It's going to be a long night," Ludwig groaned before delving in between Pam's splayed-out thighs.

Sensing apathetic distress in his eldest progeny, Eric had immediately sped home to find Sookie and their two children resting on the porch. "Is it happening?" he asked nervously upon greeting her with a kiss. Truthfully he was rather worried over his progeny's reaction to impending motherhood. Throughout her relatively short Fae pregnancy she had simply carried on with little regard for the change that was occurring in her body aside from bitching about a severe lack of appropriate maternity wear.

"Yeah, it's happening," Sookie answered as she watched Eric with a warm smile as he greeted his children who instantly caught onto his presence.

"How is she coping?" Eric continued to ask as they settled in the large swing seat with a child in each of their laps.

"Like Pam," Sookie said with a stifled giggle. "I don't think she's grasped the severity of it all quite yet. She's more concerned with Lafayette fixing her hair and makeup so she looks good on camera than what's happening next."

"She'll know soon enough," Eric spoke perceptively as he sensed the reluctant attitude of his child slowly morph into slight panic.

"I'm fucking going to kill you, Niall!" Pam screamed across the bathroom as another powerful contraction overtook her. "If not, bring me something else to kill! This bath does nothing! Do you hear me? This does nothing!"

"I hear you," he returned indulgently as he tried desperately to ignore the assault on his sensitised eardrums. "It will all be over soon, Precious," Niall attempted to soothe as he feared his hand might crumble to parts if the vampiress didn't release her grip soon.

"Oh god!" she shrieked as the pressure continued to build. "Bring me fuckin' Sookie!"

"I'm not allowing you to kill my great-granddaughter," Niall said sternly as his hand lived to further regret those spoken words.

"I'm not going to kill her," she seethed through clenched teeth. "I fucking need her, okay?"

"Okay," Niall whimpered in relief when she finally released his hand, thankfully still whole.

"Nobody fucking comes into this room!" Pam screamed to the shuffling feet at the door after Niall teleported away.

"Ms. de Beaufort," Ludwig tried, wanting a closer look at the progression of her labour.

"Fuck you, munchkin!" she screamed as another contraction bared down on her in inexplicable pain. Isolde charted it, noting the regular intervals were shortening, and communicating to Ludwig that they would be needing access to the vampire soon for the birth to occur safely. "Come in here and I will make good on my threat to shove my hand up your ass and use you as a hand warmer!"

A soft knock and a whisper of her name soon came after scaring the doctor and her assistant away. Sookie carefully snuck into the bathroom keeping the inquisitive stares of the onlookers out. "What can I do for you, Pam?" Sookie asked kindly finding a completely transformed Pam panting in the tub. Her carefully made up hair sat askew and sweat had wiped away the expertly applied makeup.

"You can fucking make this stop!" she seethed out in fury. "Bar that you can help me up."

"Maybe someone else is better equipped for that," Sookie said carefully, not quite sure why her small frame would be the one to help up the now rather hefty vampire.

"No," Pam snapped. "It has to be you."

"Pam, I really don't think..."

"You're a fucking telepath are you not?" she demanded to which she meekly nodded. "Good, then you know how to keep that fucking trap shut."

"Pam, I'm not sure I understand," Sookie spoke, unable to hide the slight tremble of fear that came with the death glare the vampiress was throwing her way.

"I need to poop."

"Pam, you don't..." Sookie started but was too embarrassed to finish that sentence.

"Poop?"

"Fucking ordinary magic or whatever crap is making this happen, says otherwise," she snapped holding her arms up expectantly. "I may not have taken a crap in a century but I fucking remember what it feels like! Help me out!"

"Pam, I think this is what it's supposed to feel like when you're about to give birth," the telepath suggested while taking a few tentative steps towards the tub, Pam's nudity no longer much of a shock after having walked in on her and Niall so many times.

"Help. Me. Out," she demanded which left Sookie no room to refuse. Thankfully Pam had enough strength to hold her own weight as she used Sookie too steady herself, but she didn't make it very far as she crouched mid-air in the tub, paralysed by pain. "Back! Now!" she whimpered wide-eyed.

Instantly adhering to her wishes Sookie helped her settle back into the giant bath that was most likely the spaghetti bowl in which Pam was impregnated. "Maybe you should try the breathing exercises again," she suggested while trying to demonstrate the rhythm Dr Ludwig had shown to her. The resounding growl shut down any further suggestions Sookie might otherwise have had.

"Fucking hell! The Magister's torture was preferable to this," Pam groaned as blinding pain shot through her entire system again at an even more debilitating sensation than before. The howling yell that accompanied it instantly had Niall by her side again.

"Precious," Niall whispered sweetly as he got in the tub behind her with concern and supported her trembling body. "Please, allow the doctor do her job."

"You're ruining your good suit!" she shrieked, incensed at the sight of the expensive wool suit in the water.

"You'll buy me another one," he shrugged. "Don't pretend otherwise. Now may Ludwig come in and examine you?"

"I'm not getting out of the fucking tub," she complained. "Ever."

"Very well," the doctor announced as she entered the bathroom wearing a 'Dora the Explorer' bathing suit, flippers and snorkelling gear. "Let's get this show on the road."

Eric came to stand behind Sookie who made space for Isolde and the piles of towels and other items they might need, helping out as best they could in the melee that was becoming Pam's delivery. The scientific charting of the unusual birth was now lost due to the vampiress' lack of cooperation over the last several hours.

"Get that fucking camera away from me!" Pam screamed when Lafayette toddled in with an excited smile and the professional filming equipment on which Pam had spent thousands. The mere sight of the angry vampire and even angrier-looking vagina he walked in on immediately had him dropping the equipment on the floor and making a hasty retreat from the room praising the Lord that he was gay.

"Do I have to do everything my fucking self?" Pam screamed as she scooped up the camera and started filming the doctor between her thighs who disappeared under the water once more. Her little thumb came up signalling for Pam to push, and with all her might, a deafening cry between laboured breaths and several more pushes, finally a sigh of relief escaped along with her firstborn.

Ludwig surfaced with the child, shooting out a little spurt of water through the snorkel before she proudly announced it was a healthy little boy. The camera Pam was holding instantly fell from her hands, crashing to the floor for a second time, urging Eric to pick it up and film the sight of a voracious Pam grasping the child from the doctor's tiny hands and pulling the infant to her bare chest. "Mine!" she growled leaving no doubt about her proclamation as the tiny hand of her child instantly latched onto her breast.

"Takes after his father already," Niall chuckled as his hand came around to trace the spine of his newborn son where little sparks hummed in mutual contentment.

"Fuck," Pam groaned as the contractions continued, their intensity not relenting.

"We're far from done yet," the doctor taunted before diving below again.

"Fucking faeries, you never can quite stop at one, can you?"

"You never complained about the multiples I gave you before," Niall grinned with prowess.

"That's what got me into this fucking mess, asshole!"

"You know you love me," he taunted and before she could refute that unspoken truth another scream tore through the room with the arrival of baby number two. Three soon followed as did baby number four and by this time Pam had completely forgotten to claim otherwise.

"Another boy!" Ludwig announced, not giving a moment's pause anymore and handed the child immediately to his possessive mother who was collecting quite the brood on her ample chest.

"What am I going to do with all these penises?" Pam complained to number three. "I've been avoiding you all of my existence. Can't we just snip one of them off? It would be nice if one of them was a girl..."

"Pamela," Eric growled in reprimand which instantly had her bearing fangs with the possible threat to her children.

"Eric!" Sookie warned and the fangs soon sheathed back in place.

"As soon as we're done here, we're trying again!" Niall proclaimed excitedly. "We're not stopping till we get you a little girl!"

"You'll be fucking doing it alone then!" Pam screamed as another tremor wracked her system. "You're never touching me again!" Ludwig instantly dove down with the unexpected force assuming the last of the nest had already been born. With only a second to spare the doctor caught the last babe that shot from its mother's womb with incredible flight.

"Let me guess, penis number five?" Pam intoned when Ludwig resurfaced once more.

"Guess again."

...

...

**A/N: Thanks to the ever expedient msbuffy for fixin' my mistakes and for assuring me this resembles somewhat of actual childbirth…**

**Pam's got a giant brood now, I'm still wracking over their names so suggestions on those are welcomed although I fear Pam will just refer to them by their number… So I hope you all enjoyed this surreal birthing experience as much as I enjoyed conjuring up how a reluctant vampire would react and instinctually latch on to newfound motherhood…**


	30. Chapter 30

**#30**

"Mini-Pam!" her mother squealed while she greedily grasped for the infant, nearly forgetting the four children that were already carefully arranged on her body.

"Careful now," Niall spoke cautiously as he proceeded to steady the four boys. The girl was significantly smaller as she was positioned between two sets of her brothers.

"Took you little fuckers long enough," Pam said without the usual hostility that normally accompanied that particular scolding back when they were still invasive aliens trapped in her body. "Are we done here?" she questioned as Dr Ludwig surfaced again.

"Just about," the doctor announced holding up the placenta with the clamped cords still attached, strangely resembling some sort of deep ocean creature that only made the sight of the doctor in her snorkelling gear more ridiculous. "Niall, you remember how to do this?" she continued while tossing the Prince of the Fae a pair of scissors. After making sure all five children were secure he happily posed for the camera snipping each cord.

Sookie held out a towel to the doctor who finally got out of the tub after throwing out the flippers and snorkel gear.

"Let's take a looksee," Ludwig announced holding her hands out for Pam to hand over the children one by one. Pam only reluctantly handed over each child as her vampire healing was instantly regenerating her to her former body, making it difficult to keep the kids above the water. The doctor focused on the little girl first as she was the smallest and least vocal of the noisy bunch. "Name?"

"Princess Pinnie," Pam returned with a slight lilt and a mist to her eyes while Niall helped her out of the tub. She looked down her body, glad to be able to see her feet again, though noting she was in dire need of a pedicure. Momentarily she squeezed both breasts while tossing a lascivious glance to Niall, contented they were still fuller than before.

"Erin Pin Brigant," Niall offered to the small doctor while wrapping Pam in a towel and getting in a good squeeze himself.

"Erin?" Sookie whispered becoming rather misty-eyed at the reveal of that particular name while Eric himself stood speechless at the honour. "After Eric?"

"Yes," Pam answered sharply shooting her Maker a patented glare. "Unlike some people, I have no qualms about naming _my _children after the most important blood relations in my life. We agreed I could pick the girl's names. Had there been more there would have been a little Erica, Goderica and a Tara." Pam's voice fell slightly with the last two names and when tears started to gather at the corner of her eyes she proceeded to mutter something about stupid pregnancy hormones before retreating to the adjoining shower room to rinse off.

Sookie gave a knowing glance towards Niall knowing full well that, like her, he knew exactly what the division of the sexes would be before the babies were born. He shrugged, then mentally informed, "_She was talking of Calvin, Halston, Valentino and Gianni for the boys. Those are no names for royal Brigants." _Sookie shook her head admonishingly but completely understood her great-grandfather's scheming while Eric and she started arranging the boys in order of birth for the doctor to inspect.

"Conall Sprig Brigant," Niall stated for the record while Dr Ludwig continued her inspection of the firstborn before naming the second, "Ewan Tack Brigant."

"They seem healthy enough," the doctor spoke after careful inspection before handing them off to the nurse Isolde who wrapped them in the most luxurious blankets she had ever come across and fitted them with loudly labelled designer hats. "This would be?"

"Leary," Pam answered as she entered the room in a soft pink silk robe carrying Pinnie against her chest. "Or LóegaireSpike Brigant," she continued with an eye roll to display her disdain with the pompous name the Prince of the Fae had chosen.

"You´re not serious," Eric groaned.

"Niall chose the boy names!" Pam whined.

"I'm groaning at the name of your ridiculous childhood friend."

"Spike? Well, it wasn't like I would go with William," she scoffed. "Better get used to it, he's coming to the wedding."

"You're not seriously naming your child after that half-demon vampire mutt, are you?" her Maker demanded with a growl.

"Hey, he has a soul now," Pam countered with a huff in defence of one her oldest friends.

"Because that worked so well for his Grandsire," Eric pointed out testily.

"As interesting as this Spike sounds," Ludwig interjected. "I'd like the name of the last one."

"Taranis Braden Brigant," Niall spoke softly while looking at Pam as if she were the only entity in the room.

"Niall," she whimpered at the altered name that clearly stood in memory of her lost progeny.

"Is that alright?" he requested as her head came to rest against his chest. "We can still go with Carbry."

"No," Pam returned, now completely unembarrassed for tears to fall when she recognised the approval from Lafayette who had quietly snuck in when informed Pam was decent again. "It's perfect."

"As is this one," Ludwig announced upon completing her final examination. "Want this gone?" the doctor enquired casually holding up the small bit of foreskin on the impressive Brigant-sized manhood.

"Circ.. circumcision?" Niall stammered out aghast.

"Sure why not?" Pam shrugged. "Give them some porno penises. Wax them while you're down there too."

"Pamela!" Niall and Eric yelled out in protest who with a mere mirrored look became instant allies.

"That's a 'no' on porno penises then?" she questioned with a quirked brow at the two outraged males.

"YES!"

"I'm snipping away then?" Ludwig asked for confirmation holding the specialised instrument especially close to the piece of skin.

"NO!"

"So Pam's kids are Eric's grandbabies but me and Sookie's great uncles and aunt," Jason asked while pensively scratching the sandy blonde locks on his head hoping that somehow it would help the information thrown his way absorb into his brain. "What are Sook's kids then?"

"Their own aunts and uncles?" Lafayette tested no longer sure either. "Let's just say you`s all proper Southern now."

"Does that make me my own grandpa?" Jason spoke up, suddenly excited by the idea while humming along to the tune of that particular song.

"Ouch!" Jason exclaimed when Lafayette instantly slapped the back of the especially dumb blonde's head, causing him to shoot out the last of the cake samples he was stowing away.

"I think you need to be turned by one of Pam's children for that to happen," Willa giggled although even she had trouble making sense of the interwoven familial relationships.

"It's nice, you know," Jason said after finally catching his breath again and downing a glass of water for the misplaced cake. "Having a big family again."

"Yeah," Willa agreed softly. "It is."

"How does it feel to be a grandpa?" Sookie teased as they were looking down on the five snoring babes in matching outfits. "Ready to strap on a diaper yourself, Methuselah?"

"You think you're so funny," he growled out into her neck. She shrieked a little too loud, disturbing the quintuplets sleep when he suddenly pulled her body into his.

"Shh!" she demanded in a loud whisper. "Look what you did."

"I believe the noise was coming from here," he taunted while stroking up and down her neck. They continued to watch as the unsettled bunch slowly fell to rest again. All except little Erin whose vivid blue eyes, clearly an indiscriminate copy of her mother's set, stared back at the couple above her with scrutiny. In the process of waking her arms had sprung free from her confining blanket, at which she happily stretched out demanding more space between her and her brothers. Her face got stuck in a look of annoyance when she noticed that despite her efforts at slapping her siblings away they remained firmly in place.

"She really is a Mini-Pam," Sookie laughed quietly. "I hope Eva isn't too sad about giving up her title."

Eric hummed in agreement. "We could always try for another," he spoke huskily in to the shell of her ear as his hand caressed over the round of her stomach that much to his disappointment seemed to disappear with each passing night. "Knock this little one off her throne."

The little one in question furrowed her brows and let out a petulant huff at the spoken threat.

"Two's enough, Eric," Sookie returned with a giggle though not quite convincing herself with the statement.

"For now?" he asked hopefully.

"For now," she confirmed with a smile.

"Sookie, how do you do this?" Pam demanded gesturing wildly at her ample chest when Sookie walked into the living room in the early morning to prepare some breakfast before breastfeeding Viggo and Eva herself.

The otherwise tidy room was in complete chaos, toys that Pam's children were still too young for were sprawled everywhere. It was evident they were clearly tossed there by Pam as they lay in shatters after being rejected by her children as play objects. Then there were the discarded clothes, used diapers and random burping cloths strewn around. Two of her children only wore their diapers, while one had lost his diaper somewhere and was currently urinating with an impressive ray into the air before it descended on Eric's expensive sofa, and the last two were latching onto her bare breasts with little success.

Sookie quickly placed a diaper over the little fountaineer stopping any further damage which she quickly wiped away with the stray cloths before placing the rather not-so-bashful boy beside his siblings under a blanket. She waded her way through the mess, pulling the feeding pillow she kept in the living room closet and positioning it so that the babies sat securely against Pam.

"Pam, you need to relax," Sookie instructed.

"Relax!" she shrieked. "Why do_ I_ need to relax?"

"You can't breastfeed when you're this tense," Sookie said gently. "Now breathe in deeply, it always helps me when I pet their heads."

"You treat your children like dogs?" the vampiress questioned after taking a reluctant breath but following the advice regardless by running her fingers through the soft hairs. Pam could scream for joy were she not so tired when the milk finally started flowing freely into her fussy children's mouths.

"Pam," Sookie sighed in slight admonishment but the woman in question ignored her as she was blissfully lost in feeding her children for the moment. Instead Sookie continued clearing the room of debris and soiled diapers till the first two had their fill.

"This really isn't fair," Pam complained when Sookie helped her exchange one set of babies for another. "I'm clearly missing four extra sets of tits."

"Ludwig said your vampire nature will replenish your milk supplies quicker than a human's so count yourself lucky, Pam," Sookie scolded. "What happened to Niall and Isolde?"

"Some faery realm emergency," Pam complained. "And the Elfling had to go."

"You fired Isolde?" The ire on Sookie's face was quite apparent and Pam instantly dropped fang with an accompanying growl, making clear not to threaten her among her young.

"She was leering at Niall," she defended petulantly.

"That's preposterous! She has no interest in Niall! Besides, as if the man has eyes for anyone but you!" Sookie disputed. "I'm calling Dr Ludwig and getting her back; I wouldn't have made it through those first few weeks without her. You won't either!"

"Fine," Pam grumbled with some resignation.

The children suddenly all buzzed to life startling Sookie and Pam before Niall popped into the room with a rather impressive wrapped and bound present for his fiancé held up by Preston.

"Precious," Niall greeted Pam on the lips before sharing a smidgen of his light with each of his newly born children. "I brought you a present."

"I can see that," she spoke with a particular deep longing and satisfaction as her eyes raked over the intricate wrapping and large bow. "What brought this on?"

"Well, someone mentioned they could drain a bitch," he returned with a knowing wink.

Sookie's eyes went wide with the sudden recognition of the gagged fairy, "Mab?"

**A/N: On the names; thanks for the suggestions, safe to say I agreed with Niall on the use of designer names. I did, however, like the idea of naming Mini-Pam after her mommy's Maker, though I preferred Erin over Erica and that tied in with the Gaelic boy's names as Erin is the anglicised Éire meaning Ireland.**

**The boys I named after the sons of 'Niall of the Nine Hostages', an important Irish King, except for Taranis who was named after Tara though I suspect like Princess Pinnie the boys will go by their middle names. They came from my love of autocorrect (see my one shot Coldfinger why) as Niall often comes up as Naill in the comment section, which ever since Niall has been 'nailing' Pam has amused me a little too much. So the middle names are all synonyms for the word nail or a specific type of nail. Spike was in honour of the beta work MsBuffy puts in on these and to frame a Christmas fic I promised her though I am still highly reluctant to write no matter how much virtual alcohol she sends my way ;)**

**Special thanks to MsBuffy for her betaing skills again.**


	31. Chapter 31

**#31**

Eric landed with great speed in the yard, removing his shoes on the porch before Sookie scolded him again for possible scuff marks. She was becoming quite adamant about avoiding those and Eric was well aware now that he better not test the fluctuating moods in which she often found herself. However, Sookie's objections were quickly forgotten when he sensed her sudden fear and catapulted himself inside with one shoe still attached to his left foot.

Sookie was instantly placed behind him as he took up a defensive pose while he growled at the gift-wrapped fairy who had caused the sudden shock of fear to travel from Sookie into him through their shared bond.

"I trust your business with the Japanese went well," Niall said congenially as if nothing were amiss. "I brought my Pamela a little early Christmas present. Let's call it a wedding gift."

"Who is this?" Eric demanded, the hostility of the possible threat refusing to leave his tense body.

Sookie only barely seemed to recover from Eric's instant appearance in front of her aside from the confrontation with the evil fairy queen. "It's Mab," she spoke softly.

Assured that the fairy in question was secure and Sookie had seemed to calm down, he instantly engulfed her small form in his embrace to give her the comfort she clearly needed in that moment. "I believe we are owed her blood more than Pam," Eric said pointedly gesturing to Mab. "She brought Claudine and Bill together with Hallow. She sought to steal Sookie's spark."

"Yes," Niall conceded. "She also sought to do the same with my youngest children and yours. She is mine to do with as I see fit."

The cacophony of growls that resonated through the room with that particular revelation was near deafening, and, had it not been for her worry of her children, Pam would have already drained the bitch queen to dust by now.

Eric and Sookie shared but a mere glance before they ran for their children's bedroom; he picked her up mid-flight to get them there that much faster. They were only able to breathe a sigh of relief when they found them safely tucked in their beds, completely unharmed, exactly as Sookie had last left them.

"I was so worried," Sookie panted; her heart beating thunderously under her palm while Eric lovingly stroked his fingers over Eva and Viggo's cheeks. "Why are you wearing only one shoe?" Sookie exclaimed suddenly once she found an appropriate outlet for her worry now that the possible threat was abated. "I told you no shoes in the bedroom!"

He chuckled a little, only noticing the odd sight himself in that moment. When little Eva joined in with her father Sookie couldn't help but laugh either, especially when they noticed that Viggo had somehow managed to be without a sock on the exact same foot.

"Sookie," he sighed, pulling her closer to him as their collective laughter disarmed them from the previously tense atmosphere. "We're safe now."

She hummed in agreement, "I never doubted we weren't."

"Because I was here?"

"Mostly because of Eva," she snickered and as if in demonstration of her talent the little girl released an electric charge of her light into the air. Eric grinned widely as he looked down towards his daughter and exchanged her for Sookie in his arms.

"Who's Pappa's little homicidal princess?" he cooed while he rocked her in outstretched arms. "Is that you?"

"Eric," Sookie admonished, swatting his arm in reprimand. "Don't encourage her."

"She gets it from you," he teased, which only caused Sookie to huff out in disagreement. If only to prove his point Eva and her mother now carried the identical expression of indignation. Eric rumbled with laughter at the sight, which only set the scowls on both their faces deeper. He kissed the frown on Eva's forehead, instantly causing it to disappear under her father's touch. Eric winked down as he caught his daughter's eyes, "If only it was so easy with your mother."

"Eric!"

"Deny it all you want," he taunted. "Viggo knows I speak the truth. Right, son?"

The child in question did nothing to indicate one way or the other as he happily babbled along while Sookie found Viggo's lost sock again.

"Eric, honey?" she asked while holding their son to her chest. "Shouldn't you be with Pam tearing out a hostile faery's throat?"

"I find I much prefer to be here with you and our children," he smiled back at her while Eva attempted to claw at his face and he playfully bit at her tiny fingers. "Pam can have her."

Sookie stood up on her toes to find his lips as he reached down to meet her. "Thank you," she whispered in return when she landed back on her feet. "But, just go already. I know you want to."

His nose grazed along her neck momentarily before he bluntly nipped at it between soft kisses while her daughter mimicked the same movements against her upper arm, albeit with a good deal more saliva. Sookie had to giggle with the dual sensations, one extremely innocent in nature while the other highly suggestive.

"I think I prefer this faery throat much more," he said playfully before they were interrupted by a soft knock at the door. "Yes, Willa?" Eric bellowed out as she was the only one in the house who bothered with such niceties.

"Pam is demanding your attendance at her wedding shower," Willa informed them while she carefully peeked her head around the door.

"Now?" Sookie asked in confusion when she pulled away from Eric. "It's nearly dawn."

"She says it won't be a problem," Willa shrugged, not quite sure how that was the case either.

"If she thinks I'm going to be babysitting seven kids, three drunken vampires, and a clueless Faery Prince, then she is sorely mistaken," she grit out which caused little Eva to sparkle along in anger with her mom. Sookie calmed instantly, fearful of more repercussions which was a very hard task as Eric seemed to gloat at her necessity to rein in her infamous temper. "Later," she spoke lowly and with narrowed eyes directed his way causing him to gulp audibly with the silent threat.

Willa turned her head momentarily before addressing Sookie again, "She says it isn't a problem and wear something appropriate."

"It isn't a problem?" Sookie grumbled. "Yeah, right!"

"Sookie," Eric said trying to hide the amusement in his tone but failing miserably. Innocently he gestured at the suitably-agitated daughter in his arms. "Just hear Pam out."

"Fine," she agreed with the slightest hint of defiance. "What is appropriate to wear?"

"Pam says there are two garment bags in your closet," Willa answered.

She quickly slipped on a dress that thankfully was voluminous enough around the waist for Sookie not to feel self-conscious in. The pearlescent colour was complimentary to the cobalt suit Eric was to wear. Even the children were to fall under Pam's stylistic tyranny when they discovered two miniature garment bags hidden behind theirs that matched the chosen colour palette.

Upon arrival in the living room they found Pam, Niall, and their children in equal splendour. Sookie impatiently tapped her foot while waiting for an explanation which she didn't receive until Willa entered the room making the vampire party complete.

"What happened to Mab?" Sookie asked cautiously when she noticed the discarded wrapping paper on the floor.

"She's right here," Pam said proudly when she revealed a tray with empty crystal flutes and a magnum champagne bottle clearly filled with blood.

"No!" Sookie protested again. "You know how difficult it was to get Eric back in from the sun when he drained Claudine. This is not happening!"

Eric calmed her by resting his hand heavily on her shoulder as the other hand picked up the bottle and inspected the label on it; one he recognised from several rounds of Pam driving graphic designer's crazy with her demands. "You have managed it?" he asked with admiration.

She smiled widely with a very smug grin. "Told you that home lab was a wise investment. Five to eight hours in the sun without the debilitating high," she pointed out. "Synthesised and ready to go, but I'm inclined to keep it as a private reserve."

"Agreed," he nodded proudly at her ingenuity. While they had both been the public face of the New Blood company he had diverted his attentions to the business side while Pam had helmed the research and development branch. Her initial efforts had been directed at creating a palatable blood, but he knew this was the project she had been diligently working on with little success for the past years. "You are certain it works?"

"We tried with a smidgen of my blood," Niall replied encouragingly. "She needed the volume of a full faery and I knew just the woman for the job."

"Shall we then," Eric said excitedly as he uncorked the concoction. He reassured Sookie through the bond all would be well though she remained looking sceptical until Niall mentally gave his word that the vampires would be teleported inside instantly were anything to go awry.

Suspiciously Willa and Eric scented the unique palate before following Pam's example and downed it in one go. Eric managed to hide the bitter aftertaste quite well behind his stoic façade but Willa was less well-trained in hiding her disgust.

Pam picked up Pinnie who was wearing a matching outfit to her mother while Niall and Isolde followed her to the door with the four boys. "Let's go," she announced, hurrying everyone out into the morning rays that were just peeking out over the horizon.

Sookie gushed as she took in the decorated back yard in muted tones of pink clearly set up for an extensive brunch. The table was set for far more than would ever arrive, but it did little to ruin the festive atmosphere. "You did this, Willa?" Sookie whispered to the vampire beside her.

"Yes," she returned. "Just don't eat anything but the fruit, it's all polystyrene."

"Where did the gifts come from?" Sookie asked in another hushed whisper while she took in the large table overflowing in neatly wrapped boxes.

Willa's eyebrow lifted as her eyes briefly shifted towards Pam's direction. "Do you even need to ask?"

Sookie swallowed the snort and gave a brief nod of understanding. Her eyes continued to travel over all the intricate details and neat script on the place cards. "It's beautiful," she complimented.

"Yes," the vampires agreed in unison, though their gazes were clearly directed at the beams of yellow and orange cresting out in the distance.

"Everything you wanted my blushing bride?" Niall whispered to Pam's ears.

"Everything and more."

* * *

**A/N: This A/N is a little extensive but please do read it all. I have some good news, some bad news and some more good news on the fixin's front. So prepare yourself accordingly…**

**I finally found a title I'm happy with for this particular outtake, it's the final sentence of this chapter.**** So the title for this little fic will be 'Everything and More' I exhausted an extensive list of titles with a lot of doubles and twice in it, but like the natural end this came to it felt right. This story started with this quote by Eric in season 4: **

"_I know you, there are two Sookie Stackhouse's. One who still clings to the idea that she's merely human and the other who's coming to grips with the fact that you are better than that."_

**In that same conversation Sookie asked what Eric wanted from her and his answer was "Everything" somewhere along the way I figured in this fic Eric got that and a lot more so the title stuck. I won't change the title here on but I might use the new title for future outtakes.**

**So on to the bad news, that final sentence is also this particular fixin's outtake's last sentence of the last chapter as it has found it's natural end. I'm usually a little better about anticipating this as I write chapters far ahead but it just felt right and I could probably muddle on endlessly (Willa and Preston anyone?) falling into a trap many fanfics enter where I scramble to find an appropriate end because the plot has died down in favour of mild entertainment as the worst has passed and in that do a disservice to the story as a whole in the process by extending it unnecessarily.**

**Onto more good news! There will be an extensive epilogue that will span a couple of chapters and perhaps some extra outtakes for things I still had lined up for this but didn't make it in yet. It'll be more of the cutesy fluff; like vampires trying to be parents, inane fairies, spaghetti adventures, Spike meeting his namesake, etc. where I don't feel guilty about a severe lack of actual storyline that's necessary to string it together because that's simply capturing a moment in their new lives. So the fixin's ****will**** continue, it's mostly terminology in the end but it allows me some creative breathing space, now if only my sore throat and sinuses could agree to offer me the same…**

**Special thanks to msbuffy for her super betaing skills again.**

**Speaking of which, there was a guest review last time (don't worry it was very complimentary) but this person pointed out that I had a small mistake by writing defence instead of defense. I simply wanted to address it since it looks bad on my beta if I don't. Though I am not British I do adhere to that standard for spelling and grammar and in turn so does msbuffy by my request. By UK spelling (and I think most Anglican spellings aside from the US one) defence is spelled with a c. It is the same word, just a different spelling. **


	32. Chapter 32

**#32**

The shrill scream of 'No!' that reverberated from Pam's tender larynx was heard throughout the entire town of Bon Temps. It was only those present in the house who noticed the smell of burnt hair. The designer in question grabbed nervously at the now-missing signature white ponytail from the nape of his neck. The little arsonist's mother stammered out nervous apologies while she gathered up the wayward child.

"Eva!" she admonished. "You can't just set people's hair on fire."

"Don't you dare apologise!" Pam screamed. "Eva understands! He's useless!"

"Pam, it's the first of ten," Sookie frowned. "One will fit perfectly, I'm sure."

"You better pray she's right," the vampiress barked in the world-renowned designer's native German, if only to make the threat more terrifying than it already was. "Plenty more hair to burn." With the narrowing of Pam's eyes to slits, little Eva smiled maliciously, which only caused Pam to clap excitedly in encouragement of her back-up team. Sookie pleaded to Willa non-verbally who without pause dropped the important task she was seeing to and took the girl in her arms. As usual, Pam huffed as the infant happily leaned into Willa and forgot about everyone around her. Ever since discovering the gentle vampire smoothed out the worst of the child's, and to a certain extent Sookie's moods, she had never been far from Eva's side.

It was a fact that calmed down Eric and Sookie equally though for different reasons. Eric was overly cautious as a new parent as it was, but the uncovering of the threat Mab had posed without his knowledge had sent him into safety overdrive. The night he had come home with little foam helmets and knee pads for all the babies with the announcement that they were to wear them at all times, had erupted into an epic domestic dispute between the Viking vampire and the part-faery.

When pointing out she and Jason had turned out just fine without such overprotective devices, it didn't help Eric to question how true that statement was in regards to her brother. Her carefully contained temper, bottled up for fear of her daughter's reaction and her own general fatigue as a new mother, erupted in a grand spectacle for the onlookers. It was only after both parties had calmed down that they realised their little 'problem' child sat happily in Willa's lap making a futile attempt to clap her hands without a care in the world.

They had briefly accredited the rare occurrence where her mother's temper had failed to elicit a reaction from the child to the fact that Eva would never purposefully harm her parents. However, that theory was discredited the next night when Sookie found all her 'toxic' cleaning products replaced by a box of aluminium free baking soda and organic vinegar while still cursing from her collision with the floor after tripping over a stair gate that had not been there the previous night. That was the night Eric lost all of his hair as Eva and Pam cackled loudly from their perched seats as onlookers to that particular battle of the wills; though Pam lost her hair soon after when Eric's rage was subsequently directed at his eldest child. In turn, Niall had found it a perfectly credible excuse to fashion a wig out of spaghetti on her head later that night.

The specially-flown-in fashion designer and nervous seamstresses whose hands continued to tremble in fear with the continued threat didn't lose any of their hair that night despite the fact that not a single dress had fit to satisfy the vampiress. Apparently _'the one that never ages'_ had grown an inch or two in the waist and thighs, a fact which she vehemently denied and blamed on the incompetence of the renowned fashion house. Professional as they were, they instantly took the blame promising severe repercussions to the members of staff who had caused this misunderstanding to occur. Perhaps it was less professionalism and more the threat of a young Eva waving her hands with pretty sparkles in the air.

Princess Pinnie proved to be the mirror image of her mother as she gave the most discontent expression a baby could afford when she was hoisted into the specially designed dress. She was about as pleased as Pam with the fit and, despite the wedding being two nights away, the vampiress commanded everything be done from scratch. With a bit of coaxing from Willa and Sookie those demands were narrowed down to a few choice items instead, which allowed the designer and his team to finally breathe a sigh of relief. It was quickly swallowed again with a mere look from the vampiress and the sound of static electricity in the air.

As the designer and his team left the room and moved to exit the home, they encountered what under normal circumstances would be considered his competitor from Milan. A mutual pained look had them instantly forgetting their usual hostility and without words they found themselves in the nearest bar to drown their collective sorrows. It didn't even bother them that the wine they drank at Bellefleur's was the most inferior they had ever tasted and was riddled with cork residue while they commiserated over their tormentors. Neither one had a restful sleep with the threat of a menacing blonde, her tiny infant sidekick, and the flamboyantly gay cook who had picked and prodded at every hem, button, zip fly, and fabric choice for the mens' suits.

"Eric, what are your intentions with my great-granddaughter?"

"I could ask you the same," he countered with a raised eyebrow while loosening the constricting bow tie and placing the fit jacket back on the mannequin.

"I think it is rather clear; I am making an honest woman of her, contradicting as that may sound," Niall returned while dropping his pants. Eric grimaced internally at the sight of the Prince of the Fae going commando when a highly-pierced gasp made Lafayette's presence known with his first sighting.

"Hot damn!" Lafayette exhaled followed by the sound of a forceful thud hitting the floor. When Eric glanced towards the source of the noise he observed Jason fanning a passed out Lafayette on the floor.

"No wonder Ms. Pam insisted on double pleats on the slacks," Lafayette managed to stammer out when he came too. "Big boy needs some room!"

Eric stepped over the over-the-top sight that blocked the floor space by the door with a roll of his eyes while a now fully dressed and entertained Niall followed hot on his heels. "You have yet to answer my question, vampire."

"You have yet to answer mine, why not bind to Pamela by blood?"

"She is not one to be tied down by her emotions," Niall shrugged. "It matters little to us. This works best for us both."

Eric nodded, almost imperceptibly, with it granting his consent to their unusual union, though he sincerely doubted any objections he could have had would have any effect on proceedings. Niall gestured to two seats by the roaring fire place to continue their conversation.

"Sookie is mine," he declared with nonchalance as he slumped into the high backed chair. "What else is there to know?"

"You and I both know there are different interpretations of that," Niall said pointedly. "I will not have my great-granddaughter stand unacknowledged when it suits you or paraded as a mere possession. She is of my _line_."

"We are bonded by blood and she is the mother of my children," Eric growled out. "There is no doubt she is wholly mine."

"As you are hers?" he returned expectantly.

"I have been hers from the moment we locked eyes whether she wanted me or not, whether she continues to want me or not," he spoke hoarsely. "I am hers."

"Yet you let her go."

"Yes," Eric admitted with a hint of shame, his eyes finding the crackled bark of the logs on the fire instead of the ones with whom he was conversing.

Niall's smile was small but rather self-satisfied. "That is why I always liked you for her." He patted the knee of the slightly nervous vampire with a low chuckle at the strange sight of a vampire with regrets. "You care more for her than yourself."

"I like who I am around her," Eric returned with a hidden smile.

"Me too," Sookie whispered as she perched herself in his lap, a brilliant grin gracing her face while she had caught the tail end of their conversation. Being the Supernaturals that they were, this had of course not gone unnoticed. Niall was having the conversation as much for her benefit as his.

"I think my work here is done," the Prince of the Fae announced, satisfied before leaving the, in his mind, 'young' lovers to the room.

"You need but ask, Sookie," he said adoringly while playing with the ends of her hair. "You know that, right?"

"Ask what?"

"This," he said gesturing at the elaborate decorations and props that were littered throughout the house in preparation for the wedding. "It could all be yours. You already own all the rest." He finished his last sentence by placing her hand on his chest over the vacuous part where his heart once beat a steady rhythm; never to pound at the speeds he knew it would have had for her.

"If this is your way of asking me to marry you, Eric Northman, I have to say you're doin' a piss poor job," she sassed with a slight wrinkle to her nose.

"I don't remember asking a thing," he grinned stilling the small movement with a peck to the tip of her nose.

"No, apparently I'm the one who's supposed to be doing the askin'!" she huffed crossing her arms harshly over her chest. He took her arms gently from their firm stance while he picked up on the slight pain it had caused her sensitive milk-feeding breasts to do so and knowing her innate pride would not allow that to go acknowledged, thus giving him an upper hand.

He massaged her ribs underneath to soothe away the momentary ache as her scowl set further. "I thought you were an emancipated woman of the world," he grinned loving the fire that erupted from her eyes in moments such as these and before her indignant stance turned into a tirade he added, "I was simply asking if you wish to be asked, if this," Eric gestured toward the same ceremonial items again. "Is something you want for yourself?"

Sookie fell silent momentarily while she put her thoughts on the subject in light of her new surroundings. She remembered how Eric had once cruelly ridiculed the notion when she wore an engagement ring from Bill. Now she could see it had more to do with whom that ring had come from than what it symbolised. "I think there was once a time when I would never have considered being as we are now to be right without at least one of those rings on my finger," she explained. "But ultimately a wedding is not the end that announces the happily ever after, it's just another beginning."

He took her hand and kissed the palm of it softly reminding her of the commitment they had made so many years ago in the cubby of her family home. In their mutual high all had seemed possible till somehow it all fell apart. The blood that lay in their veins never rested to source back to that bond and a small growth in her stomach had proven that their spoken words, 'All is possible, _with you.',_ were truer than they had ever imagined. "Those were our beginnings," he smiled knowing that she was having the same memories through the shared blood bond that stood testament to those beginnings.

"I guess they were," she returned with an equally bright beam on her face as their fingers found the other to entwine with. "I've been an awful spouse though if that was our wedding."

"I haven't been much of a husband either," he chuckled remembering the hot, fiery, faery side of her demanding who had taken hostage of his balls not so long ago. "A bit of a cuckold, at that." Eric instantly regretted his words as he sensed her plummeting spirits, which bothered him greatly especially considering he had been no better than her on the fidelity front if they were to take those beginnings as their vows. He whispered an apology to her ear and followed with soft kisses to the side of her face.

"Should we begin again?" Eric tested not realising the weight of the question till after it was spoken aloud and a heavy silence descended on the room.

"Thanksgiving," she smiled, causing confusion to mar his face as it wasn't much of an answer to the unintended substantial request. "It's where _we _got to start again. Three became one again only to then become four. It's the day each year when we will be thankful for more than the rich foods that grace our table as well as the questionable company with whom we surround ourselves. That day will forever be ours."

"I like that," he returned in agreement. "The day that Eric Northman finally got the girl."

Sookie giggled a little not sure if she could truly consider herself a girl anymore now that she had become a mother to one. The boy in Eric; however, leaped out as his mischief travelled through the bond, and with a suggestive brow raised he posed, "Now how about we become one again?"

* * *

**A/N: Guess what platinum haired vampire comes to visit next…**

**Special thanks to msbuffy for her betaing skills again.**


	33. Chapter 33

**Amended disclaimer: the character of Spike and any of his recognisable dialogue belongs to Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy and 20th Century Fox. I just like to toss him in among the mix, no financial gains and all the rest of it to prove my continued innocence. **

**#33**

"Pam! Why are there unicorns in the hallway?"

"Ask Willa?" she shrugged with a feigned innocence that had little effect while she continued to fuss with Pinnie's hair.

"_Willa _put them in the stables!" Sookie shrieked. "This has you written all over it!" To further demonstrate her point Sookie held up the wide and very pink bristle brush full of white horse hairs. Pam ignored her and sped away before the part-fairy erupted further at the possible cost of her hair. Sookie sighed before she unsuccessfully tried to lead the two animals out the door by their reins.

"Whoa, Luv," came the startled reply from the man standing on the porch as he gently patted the horse-like creature to a halt. "Might poke someone's eyes out with that."

"Oh my gosh," Sookie stuttered as her Southern manners kicked in. "I'm so sorry! You must be William! Please excuse the unicorns."

"Only one that gets to call me William, ducks," he smiled melancholically, though he was soon looking a little bemused at her outstretched arm that hung waiting in greeting. "Sookie, yeah?" Spike deduced taking in her small hand, still unaccustomed at the warm greeting on her face that seemed devoid of the usual prejudice flung his way.

"Of course, Spike!" Sookie corrected with a fluster as he observed the small blonde that had ensnared the notorious Northman as no other ever had. Frankly he was slightly unimpressed considering the beauties the Viking always had dangling around him, waiting to capture his notice.

"Is al' right, pet."

"I am no pet!" Sookie exclaimed with fire in her eyes making the platinum haired vampire instantly understand the attraction for the feisty fairy.

"Term of endearment, luv," he said with his hands up in a display of defeat and no harm intended. "Meant no offense."

"Offense taken," the Nordic threat behind her growled out appearing out of nowhere. "She's not your love."

"`Ello to you too Vicky," he chuckled while the tempestuous little blonde swatted the giant vampire and put him in his place while hissing his name. "Finally found someone to teach that savage arse of yours some manners then?"

"Where are our manners?" Sookie said apologetically becoming flustered all over again with the thought that they were making such a bad impression on one of Pam's oldest friends. "Please come in."

"Thanks, _luv_," Spike grinned, waggling his eyebrows along suggestively to drive up the temper of the already testy, otherwise stoic Northman.

"Pam's been excited about your visit for days," Sookie prattled on as she led him to the large living room. Eric didn't fail to possessively fall in step behind her keeping a healthy distance between her and Spike. "Or nights, I mean."

"Pammy's excited?" he asked sceptically. "Cor, motherhood does change a person then."

"Well," Sookie frowned with some thought before opening the double set of doors. "As excited as Pam can get."

"Spike!" Pam greeted as her tightly held lips crept up slightly with the sudden sighting.

"How are you, dove?" he greeted with a kiss to her forehead. "Still getting in all sorts of trouble then," Spike hinted with a nudge gesturing towards the little girl in her lap.

"Don't ask," she said with a roll of her eyes. "Meet Pinnie."

"`Ello there Pins," he greeted, taking the offered girl into his arms with a gentle care. "Look just like your mum when she were a lil` bit herself."

"You knew Pam was she was little?" Sookie asked with surprise as Pinnie began to fuss a little.

"Was a bit of a screamer then, too," Spike chuckled while nudging Pam with his elbow. "Beaufort and I are second cousins. Right brat you were then, driving them governesses mad."

"Some things never change," Sookie muttered forgetting the preternatural ability to hear everything in the room which caused Spike to erupt in laughter while she reddened in shame muttering apologies and belatedly offering a round of drinks in distraction.

"See why Vicky likes you, luv," Spike grinned widely at the telepath causing Eric to twitch with further irritation. "Good fun you are. Got any pig's blood?"

"Erm," Sookie frowned as her brows knitted together before shooting an accusatory glare at Pam for not informing her to procure the special product for their guest. "Only the New Blood, though I'm sure we can get you some," she offered apologetically.

"No worries, I'll have whatever you got, Sunshine," Spike returned before Pinnie called to his attention again. "Pamela, luv, where are the rest of the bits? Did you eat them all already?"

"They're all getting a bath with Niall and the nurse," Pam answered with a roll of her eyes. "Pinnie refuses to bathe with anyone else."

"Wonder who she got that from?" he winked at Sookie who was just getting up to organise the drinks. She snickered softly enjoying the unusual vampire's sense of humour at Pam's expense and Spike joined in with a chuckle at the dual sound of mother and daughter's indignant huffs. Not one to enjoy the shared levity or Spike's unconcealed interest in _his_ Sookie, Eric instantly pulled her into his lap and closed his wide arms around her as she futilely tried to remove herself from his iron grip while hissing his name with vexation.

"Your girl needs to breathe now and then, 'Ric," Spike taunted before he curled the back of his tongue to his teeth while cocking a single brow letting the Viking vampire know he was quite enjoying the view up Sookie's skirt during their little struggle. Eric could only think to growl out protectively at his overt ogling when he caught sight of it.

"You woke Eva!" Sookie grit out in warning causing everyone but Spike to widen the whites of their eyes. Pam fretfully patted the crown of her head in fear of finding her newly grown hair missing again.

"Who's Eva? Demon?" Spike questioned aloud.

"Eric's daughter with Sookie," Pam informed as the two sped away to gather the infant and her brother from their room before any damage could be done. "She's got her mother's temper, her father's strength and instinct, and a protective brother to back her up. Killed Compton when she was a few days old."

"Bloody hell," Spike said, thoroughly impressed. He had hated the surly vampire as much as Pam but it was only because of the close relationship between Lorena and Drusilla that he never got the chance to take out the surly vampire himself. "A real kitten with claws. Think she'd like to meet Peaches?"

"She mostly burns off hair these days," Pam shrugged while fingering the tightly gelled curls of her distant relative. "Wouldn't mind if she took a zap to yours though. Please let me fix this mess."

"Oy, Woman! Off!" he hissed while swatting away the interfering hand. "`M not your minion to do with what you please. I like my hair."

"Please, Spike?" she pleaded with a pout, one that she had practiced since childhood and had the ponce, William, the Bloody Awful Poet, succumbing instantly to her every request. "I don't want to explain to my children who that relic from the eighties is when I show them the wedding pictures once they're older."

"Eighties? This is timeless, lil` bitch," he countered with outrage. "Besides, I don't show up in pictures like you lot on account of the mirror thingies in the camera."

"Digital age, Spike," Pam said with exasperation. "Been living under a rock again?"

"Beats being Mrs. Stepford," he pointed out as they both reverted to their childish standoffs from well over a century ago.

"Future Mrs. Brigant actually," Niall informed coolly as he entered the room with Isolde and the four boys.

"`Pologies mate, Pammy here brings out the kid in me," Spike spoke up and quickly came to stand with Pinnie. He finally remembered his upper class upbringing from his human days as the mention of the name Brigant set to remind him of the royalty he now found himself among. He gave a small bow at the neck as he nervously awaited for the reigning Prince of the Fae to address him.

Niall couldn't help but chuckle at the formal display as he placed the two boys in his arm with Pam and set to retrieve Pinnie from Spike whose outstretched arms were now reaching for her doting daddy. "Have a seat, young man," Niall said while settling himself besides Pam and the rest of their children. "We're all family here, no need for decorum."

"Name's Spike," he said offering his hand like Sookie had, figuring it was the best way to go.

"You may call me Niall," he returned shaking his hand.

"Lemme see the rest of the bits then," Spike addressed Pam as he reverted back to his more congenial self. Pam introduced the near identical boys saving the one who shared his middle name with him till last. However, when the name Lóegaire Spike Brigant was finally announced Spike didn't react as Pam had expected. Unlike Eric, who had fallen speechless with the honour, Spike held a very confused look and cocked his head to the side as if questioning if she was serious.

"Lóegaire? Bit poncey, isn't it?" Spike posed while he held the little boy in his lap. His deeply blue eyes found the ones of the infant expressing sympathy. "Poor sod, you are."

"We call him Leary," Pam informed, not all too happy with the elaborate first names either. It was why the other boys went by Sprig, Bran, and Tack to everyone but Niall.

"Leary?" Spike exclaimed. "Thas' even worse! Why not call him Randy? Or just come out righ` and call him Horny Spike! Wait, Spike?"

"Yes," Pam returned with an amused twinkle to her eyes as she sank back into Niall's side. "Lóegaire _Spike_ Brigant."

"The Little to my Big Bad?" he whispered with a bit of awe. "Lil' Spike."

"Don't you dare cry!" Pam warned. Pregnancy hormones had made her especially susceptible to them and Sookie had been known to set her off more than once to Pam's great embarrassment.

"Don't listen to mum, lil' Spike," he spoke conspiratorially to the child as he held him up in his arms to shield the tears that were gathering at the corner of his eyes. His tone fell significantly low, "Even Big Bads need a good cry now and then. Tell anyone we had this conversation and I'll bite you."

When all Little Spike did was giggle excitedly and flailed his arms wildly at the threat, Big Spike's demon visage came to the forefront with a warning growl which only caused further hilarity as the infant continued to cackle loudly setting of its siblings.

"Vampire here!" Spike exclaimed with irritation as he reverted back to his human face.

"You all right?" Sookie asked softly as she subtly positioned a tissue near him. At the sight he quickly placed Little Spike securely to his lap and wiped away the tears quickly with the sleeves of his leather duster leaving the pristine handkerchief untouched.

"`M fine, Sunshine," Spike answered with a little more conviction than he had hoped for. Spike wasn't quite aware that she and the giant Viking had come back into the room, each now holding a child. He blinked a few times to remove any further evidence before taking in the sight of Pam with her brood and Eric's 'little' family standing behind the couch.

"Crikey!" Spike gasped. "You're like the poster children for the Aryan race, the lot of you! All honey haired and blue eyes."

Pam fingered his stiff gelled hair once more before she amusedly grinned, "Still so sure about the shade of your hair?" Spike stared a moment longer at the strange ensemble before scratching his nails on his scalp in thought.

"Cause it's your wedding, Pammy. Do what you like with me hair," he said with a resigned sigh. "But I better not look anything like Peaches or America's Most Constipated Vampire!"

Pam grinned with great satisfaction while she looked over her shoulder up at her Maker. "Told you I'd get it done," she spoke smugly with an upturned hand ready to receive the payment. "Tears and all." With a bit of a grunt Eric opened his wallet to place the black piece of plastic in her greedy grasp as Niall proceeded to do the same.

"Oy!" Spike exclaimed incensed at the display. "Did you just name the bit lil` Spike so you can unleash those mingy little paws on my luscious platinum locks."

A rather inelegant snort escaped Pam before answering with a tiny shrug, "Maybe. Maybe not."

"Right, you're back to lil` bitch," he growled out at Pam before seeking out the only adult eyes that seemed genuinely innocent. They belonged to the blonde telepath who in her attempt to resuscitate her Gran's ingrained manners stood there with the delayed offering of a warmed New Blood. "Cutie, can I have someone to eat instead?"

* * *

**A/N: You like Spike? Msbuffy approved and I'm quite fond of the latest shitstirrer. I promised MsBuffy a certain Christmas fic featuring Spike so you have her to thank for the inspiration. Don't pin me down on canon TB or BTVS, I won't go into either in this fic and I'll happily admit defeat ahead of time. For those of you wondering why Spike calls Eric, Vicky. It's because of a cartoon I used to watch as a kid called Vicky the Viking and Spike is known for giving everyone pet names and I figured calling Eric by a seemingly female name would up the irritation factor :D **

**Special thanks to MsBuffy for her betaing skills again.**


	34. Chapter 34

**#34**

"Sookie luv, is this pizza any good?" Spike asked into the fridge knowing she was approaching by the delicate and telling scent that grew stronger with the approach.

"Lemme see?" a far more masculine voice than he expected answered. "Spike, right?"

The vampire in question gave a curious nod to the man who only stood an inch or so above him in height. Again, like his sister, Sookie, there was no trepidation or anxiety caused by his presence and that was including the fact that he looked part-alien with the foils Pam had carefully placed in his hair to get her perfect shades of hair colouring. "You the brother?"

"Yep, Jason Stackhouse," he returned with a warm smile and an outreached hand. Spike shook it, still somewhat limp, but with noticing Jason's firmer grasp he became more assured as he looked deeply into Jason's kind eyes. They continued to shake for far longer than was necessary as Jason became momentarily lost in deep blue eyes, similar to those of a vampire Sheriff who continued to haunt him in his private dreams. "I brought your blood and Weetabix," Jason offered with a slight stutter when both finally let go of one another awkwardly leaving him to sport a blush and a shy smile.

"Thanks, mate," Spike grinned, pleased with the knowledge that he seemed to be having a similar effect on all the Stackhouses, Although he had been forced to admit that Sookie was just extremely polite and the mere sight of her drinking in Eric had removed any notion that he could lure her away; didn't mean he wouldn't constantly try for the mere pleasure of annoying the giant Viking. Knowing how possessive Eric was over anything considered his, it wouldn't harm to chase a little after the brother-in-law. "So whas' the verdict then?" he asked holding the lid of the pizza box open.

While Jason carried a very serious and discerning look, Spike couldn't help but chuckle at the child-like concentration with which he took to examining each and every single slice. "Some kind of expert then?" the vampire jested.

"Well, you see how it's dried up here at the edges," Jason returned with all seriousness pointing at the evidence in front of him. "The curvature of the point shows it's at least two days old."

"I was only joking, sweets," Spike chuckled. "Din't know you held a PhD in the subject."

"There's no joking about pizza forensics," Jason argued with knitted brows before taking a bite and moaned his approval with his face still lowered into the box.

"Lover of sausage then?" Spike taunted with a cocked brow.

"Fuckin' love the stuff," Jason grinned up to the vampire, only then catching the lascivious look cast down his way. The pizza box was held at Spike's waist and when he moved it away, Jason was left in quite the compromising position in front of Spike's crotch which was held in a very tight pair of jeans.

"Good to know, pet," Spike grinned when Jason nervously stammered something about pepperoni only and that dreams didn't mean a thing while he got up with near-preternatural speeds to be as far away from Spike and his advances as possible. "Save me a dance later on tonight, yeah?" he winked causing Jason to gulp audibly. "You know you want to dance," the vampire finished off with a suggestive swivel of his hips.

"Spike, leave my brother alone," Sookie admonished as she entered the kitchen area. Having the vampire around for one night had made it clear enough to Sookie their latest houseguest was just another overgrown child who needed to be kept in line. When giving back as good as he got Spike was quite amicable and helpful. "Now eat your damn cereal."

"Yes ma'am," Spike drawled in a poorly-held Southern accent, though submissive in tone while his eyes continued to rake over Jason's impressive physique.

"I mean it, Spike," Sookie warned. "I can only deal with one eternal child at a time."

"Pammy giving you a hard time, luv?"

"Me and everybody else with a pulse," she groaned while shoving him a bowl and a spoon in exasperation. "Scratch that, no pulse necessary. Walking and talking will suffice."

"Things not working out with them dresses?"

"Understatement of the year," Sookie sighed. "They all fit perfectly, but she's decided she hates them all."

"Lemme talk to her," Jason offered, pleased with a prospect that didn't leave him alone in the vicinity of Spike.

"Got a masters in frigid bitches too then, pet?"

"Actually it's not a bad idea," Sookie encouraged before Spike's taunting would set to make Jason more uncomfortable in her own home. "Go ahead, Jase."

"You and your brother have some inheritance you wan` to cut him out of, sweets?" Spike asked between bites of his bloody cereal. "She'll shred Captain Chisel Chest to bits."

"You almost seem like you care, Spike," Sookie teased back having established the cracks in his foundations rather easily. He was probably the easiest loving vampire she had come across.

"Take that back!" he huffed with indignation. "Evil here!"

"Whatever you say," she snorted, instantly diminishing the acknowledgement. "Don't worry. Jason can get any female of any species to bend to his ways. Sometimes I think it's his faery gift."

"This I got t` see," Spike said, excitedly chasing after Jason before tossing his bowl in the direction of the sink. In his haste; however, the bowl upturned over the countertop staining it with the pig's blood.

"Men," Sookie grumbled before setting off to clean the mess he and Jason left behind.

"Willa, you alrigh`, luv?" Spike questioned sincerely when he found her whimpering bloody tears in the hallway by Pam's rooms. She could barely stammer out a cohesive reply while he took her and little Eva in his arms who Willa was desperately trying to keep calm. Spike thought her to be such a sweet girl who wasn't all that cut out to be in the continued presence of Pam. "`Parently Jason over there is the pussy whisperer; it'll all be over soon, luv."

"Only twelve more hours," she nodded coming to some sort of calm with that thought.

"Then you an` me are gonna dance the night away," he smiled while caressing her cheek. "Lemme look after Eva and my mingin` cousin a bit. Get some rest now."

"Ok," she whispered as the child seemed happy and content to be in his presence. "But what about Eva? If she gets upset-"

"I'll take tha` hit," Spike shrugged. "Don` think I'm all too fond of the look Pam's going for anyhow."

"Thank you, Spike," she smiled weakly.

"Off with ya now," he admonished good humouredly. "I have a pussy whisperer t` see."

As soon as she sped off, Spike stealthily snuck into the room that found a pile of dresses ripped to shreds, a Maker with his hands in his hair, and a colourful maid of honour desperately trying to piece the dresses back together while the designer and his team of seamstresses cowered in a corner together.

"Now was the matter with this one?" Jason asked calmly and, to Spike's great surprise, Pam didn't rip him apart to the last bloody drop despite his patronising tone. When she was about to list a rather lengthy list of every minute detail that was wrong with the last two dresses that were still hanging in one piece Jason interrupted her, and she surprisingly held her otherwise sharp tongue. "Think Niall cares about the dress?"

"Of course he does!" she huffed. "I'm his bride, I have to act the part."

"Thas' where you're wrong, cher," Jason offered kindly. "He's marrying the woman, not the dress. An` it's no act. Can't even `member the dress Brigette wore. Just remember the giant smile she wore for me. She could 'ave been wearing a garbage bag for all I cared, in that moment she was the most beautiful thing I ever saw."

"You pick then," Pam spoke in exasperation while she sank into a chair signalling her defeat. "I don't want to care about this anymore."

Jason eyed the two remaining options, fingers tracing through the fine materials and elaborate details. He'd seen enough dresses on women to know that these things only detracted from the being underneath. He frowned slightly, knowing that either choice would be fine, but would do little to really enhance Pam's beauty or make her happy in the process. The designer sweated profusely and appeared to be near fainting with the tension in the air.

"What about this one?" Jason asked as he suddenly eyed a simpler dress through a garment bag at the back.

"No, no," the heavily accented voice of the designer instantly interjected. "That is a fitting dress, nothing more. It is not up to the standards of Ms. de Beaufort."

"Lemme see," Jason demanded and a mere look from Pam had the designer swallowing his objections immediately.

"The hems-" the designer tried to apologise for the unfinished appearance.

"I'm sure can be fixed by that team of seamstresses," Jason finished at which the designer agreed with a curt nod. He wasn't happy about where this was headed, there was little design work in the simple dress and the PR value of the entire operation would be lost to his brand. "Try it on then, Pam."

Reluctantly the vampiress did as she was told while she was helped into the simple dress by the seamstresses who immediately set to pin it in place. Without any beaded decorations or scalloped edges, it was a simple sheath, white satin dress that fit like a glove with modest cap sleeves. It was something Pam wouldn't typically gravitate towards, but when she took in her appearance in the large mirror it felt right. The faces behind her all looked hopeful with the notion that this might finally be it, all except Jason who merely sported a knowing and triumphant look as he recognised the face of a woman who was truly content with the image reflected back her way.

"It's perfect," she whispered to a chorus of sighs of relief and, to add to the excitement, Pinnie clapped her hands excitedly on the floor giving her seal of approval. Pam smiled brightly at the excitement of her daughter and knew her father would carry an equal amount of glee.

"No longer acting the part of the bride, truly are one now," Jason complimented to which Pam smiled widely. "Make sure to accessorise it with that smile," he continued. "It's what this day's about. That, and the knockers look good too."

With that Pam laughed heartily, falling into a hysteric fit, relieving the room of its tense atmosphere while Sookie snuck back in the room to sit on Eric's lap.

"You look beautiful, Pam," Sookie acknowledged, equally pleased with the simplicity of the final choice.

"I do, don't I?" she stated with satisfaction before she fell into her usual business mode again and started rambling off her demands to the seamstresses who meekly nodded in compliance to her every wish. "Spike!" Pam shrieked suddenly when she saw Eva attempt to touch the foils still in his hair.

"Eva, luv. Hands off," Spike tried prying away the insistent child's grasp thinking that was the cause of Pam's irritation.

"Not Eva, you fool!" Pam hissed stalking over to him in fury. "You were supposed to wash this out hours ago!"

"You didn` say nothin` of the sorts!" he denied when she grasped at one of the foil packets before releasing a shriek of horror.

"What?" he demanded as Pam clamped her hand over her mouth at the horrific sight. "What!" he demanded again as he inched his way around Pam to take a look in the mirror.

"Oh balls!" Spike groaned when he saw the acid green shade appear from underneath the foils. "Now what, Pam?"

"Only one way to go," Pam said with regret.

"No!" Spike said with widened eyes at the mere thought of it.

"Fraid so," she spoke with a sigh. "Chocolate brown."

"You promised me I wouldn't look like Peaches or that Civil War shit!"

"That was before you decided to ruin my good work by ignoring my instructions!"

"Yeah, well, I was peckish," he returned sheepishly. "There has to be another way."

Pam merely crossed her arms before giving the child in his arms a pointed glance.

"Bloody hell," he whined before resigning to his fate. "Eva, kitten, do Uncle Spikey a solid and zap him, will ya?"

With that, the most malicious little smile Spike had ever witnessed in his entire existence appeared.

* * *

**A/N: I'm glad to hear from the responses to the last chapter that Spike came in as authentic, he's fun to write among this crazy commune of vampires, fairies, part demons and let's not forget pussy whisperers. I hoped to have the epilogue wrapped up before Thanksgiving but it appears to be a little longer than anticipated, I really shouldn't be surprised considering how this story has continued to grow so settle in in the meanwhile.**

**Thanks to MsBuffy again for her excellent Beta skills.**


	35. Chapter 35

**#35**

Before Sookie could object to the proceedings the hair had already been singed from Spike's scalp as the foils exploded into the air with a spectacular effect. The formerly platinum blonde vampire looked quite disheartened at the still shockingly green buzz cut.

"Not really wha` I meant, lil` bit," Spike sighed to Eva and, in that moment, they discovered the complimentary gift Viggo possessed as a small current travelled from his hands causing the hair on Spike's head to regrow instantly. "Thanks, Vigs," he said appreciatively with the return of his unruly mop of curls, albeit it still in the horrid shade of green.

Meanwhile his parents sat and stared dumbfounded at the little boy whom they had assumed had been happily sleeping in his bouncer chair throughout all the commotion.

"Quite the set," Pam noted dryly before turning her attention to the source of magic. "Couldn't have helped me out before?" she said accusingly to the little boy. "I had to endure a spaghetti wig because of you, sprout!" With her slight outrage Viggo tittered delightedly causing the vampiress to huff petulantly in return, a sound she soon swallowed upon hearing the telling electric crackle running tauntingly through the air from Eva's direction.

"Right, wha` now, dove?" Spike questioned while distracting Eva and her menace from its next intended victim who definitely would not be pleased to walk down the aisle with a spaghetti wig.

"We don't have much time," Pam said with aggravation as she regarded the clock. "Let me change and I'll whip you up into Peaches 2.0."

"Pam, no!" Spike pouted while he fingered the limp green hair. A mere warning glance from Pam and her Maker, however, made him see otherwise.

"Cause it's your wedding, Pammy. Do what you like with me hair," Pam mocked while reciting his own words from perfect memory with exaggerated air quotes.

"I also distinctly `member sayin` I didn't want to look like some brooding poof!" exclaimed staring down his cousin.

"I said 2.0," she countered with her arms folded over her chest.

"I hate you," he groaned in defeat.

"But you still love me," she smirked back in sing-song.

"`M, Love's Bitch alright," Spike grumbled while he sank into Pam's dedicated hair dressing chair. "Eva, you best make this right to Uncle Spike tonight. Someone owes me a dance," he winked.

She giggled momentarily as her little hand slapped at his face. "Oy!" he protested before the little girl launched the entire weight of her heavy head against him to plant a rather wet and sloppy semblance of a kiss to his cheek. "Ah Bit," he replied with a softened tone that betrayed the surprise of the affection received and returned the gesture.

"She likes you," Sookie smiled when she and Eric came to take her away for her nap.

"Questionable taste in men already," Eric sighed while he lifted his daughter from Spike's grasp. "Breaking Daddy's heart already."

"Well, she does take after her mother," Pam goaded as she reappeared in a pink velour tracksuit with '_Here comes the Juicy bride'_ written out in rhinestones on her ass topped with a little crown. It had been a bridal shower gift from Lafayette and one she initially scrutinised it with disdain until Sookie had made sure she appeared somewhat grateful. Now it had served a great purpose in shocking the world-renowned-designer and his discerning tastes.

"Pam," Eric warned when Sookie seemed somewhat hurt by that particular jibe.

"She picked you in the end," Pam shrugged unapologetically. "She's not irredeemable, I guess."

"Jus` wait till Pins comes home with her very own brooding bore," Spike taunted with a wicked gleam to his eyes. "Peaches still has his fan club of adoring angsty lil` girls."

The vampiress gasped with full aghast at the thought boxing Spike's ear in reprimand for planting the mere thought in her head. "Ass," she hissed while he screamed out with the sudden jolt of pain. "I'll turn her before those pesky hormones come in."

"Good luck wit` that," he returned while rubbing at the sore appendage. Pam roughly handled his hair in frustration while her mind became preoccupied with images of her innocent little girl and _Angel._

"How is my Pamela?" Niall asked when Sookie and Eric entered the nursery with the twins who had already fallen asleep in their arms.

"The worst of the storm has passed," Sookie answered before kissing Viggo and Eva as they lay contentedly in their crib. "We discovered Viggo has a gift of his own."

"Do tell," her great-grandfather said indulgently as he came to watch over the little boy beside her.

"He can undo the damage inflicted by Eva," Eric explained.

At that Niall lit up excitedly, "A restorer? We have not had one of those in our line for very long."

Eric and Sookie nodded politely, both not very concerned by the value of their son's apparent rare gift; it was the boy they cherished above all. Sookie looked over her shoulder, pleased to note they were feeling the exact same thing through the bond at the same time and mouthed an 'I love you'.

Before she had the sense to realise it, he had picked her up bridal style causing her to yelp out. "I love you too," Eric murmured as he nuzzled his nose deeply into her hair and made move to launch her out of the room.

"You will call if anything's wrong?" Sookie spoke nervously towards Niall and Isolde who amusedly watched Eric unsuccessfully carry Sookie out the door with the first try when her legs collided against the door post.

"Go, get your rest," Niall encouraged with a knowing wink. "It's a big night tonight."

"Eric!" Sookie shrieked when he unceremoniously dropped her on their shared bed.

"Sookie," he mocked while pawing at obstructive clothing and pecking every bit of uncovered skin he found in his path.

"Stop," she giggled with the ticklish sensation of it all, which did little to stop Eric in his intent. "Eric, I mean it."

"Obstinate little faery," he sighed while hovering above her.

"_Your _obstinate little faery," Sookie returned with a taunting pout, a sighting which caused Eric to instantly kiss it away.

"Don't I know it," he grinned back as he kissed across the palm of her hand stopping briefly at the bare finger where Pam would soon carry another ring to symbolise that human notion of a shared bond. Unintentionally they stared at her empty hand with the realisation that their bond was buried deep under the skin, one that ignited at a mere touch. It was special and unique to them, something that wasn't shared with the rest of the world through a band of metal, making it all the more extraordinary in its existence. "Indeed I do," Eric smiled up at her as seeking fingers trailed over the soft skin of her face. "Let's make sure you remember that too."

She smiled back, though her mind was clearly preoccupied with a long list of chores yet to be completed. "There's still so much to do for the wedding."

"We hired an army of people for that," Eric pointed out between tender kisses. "Now let me have my feast."

"Only because it's you," she finally relented betraying her poorly held reluctance.

"Come on," Pam pleaded. "Just one on the toilet."

"Get bent," he growled. "I remember why I hate you so much now. Not only do you make me look like a broodin` fool, now you want photographic evidence too."

"It can be my wedding present," Pam tried once more while batting her eyelashes enticingly to encourage him along.

"I already got you somethin`," Spike replied stubbornly as he stared at the digital image on the screen. Oh, how he loathed the digital age. "Some fancy pasta maker you'll never see fit to use."

"Your sticky fingers probably lifted that from somewhere anyhow," she accused and he sheepishly gave a small shrug that confirmed as much. "Please?"

"One," he groaned out reluctantly. "Then I'm done with you, Beaufort."

Pam released an excited squeal, startling everyone including herself with the foreign sound.

"Look more constipated," she demanded when he had taken his position and failed to deliver the specific look.

"I don` bloody remember, `right! Is been a while since I took a shite," he hissed back in irritation. "Jus` take the damn shot!"

"Jason," Pam sing-songed as she kicked him from a low bench from where he sat snoring. "Care to demonstrate?"

"What?" he gasped with the shock of waking so suddenly.

"Show Spike how it's done," she demanded but Jason only continued to stare at her dumbfounded. "Compton's constipated face. Don't you see the resemblance?"

Jason peered towards Spike sitting on the porcelain throne in the bathroom by craning his neck and could barely contain his amusement at the sighting. On top of painting Spike's hair the exact same shade as the finally dead Civil War veteran, Pam had straightened the natural curl in his hair so it fell precisely the same.

"He does kinda look like him," Jason grinned getting up from his position on the floor.

"See somethin` you like?" Spike leered hoping to knock the wind out of his sudden bravado.

"Hottest thing I ever seen, bubba," Jason winked joining in on Pam's levity. The small transformation had done wonders for his psyche, now no longer blonde and resembling his least favourite vampire, the power of his taunting tease was lost.

"Slap me on some bloody sideburns and bring me my redheaded childe," Spike groaned after ascertaining Pam had found herself a partner in crime. "Jus` take tha damn picture already so I can bugger off an` commiserate with my best mates Jack and Daniels."

"Hold it right there!" Jason exclaimed as Pam eagerly snapped away with her camera when through his sole irritation he had sported the signature 'Constipated Compton' look. "Crap of the year that is."

"More like crap of the century," Pam grinned when Spike's face set into an even deeper scowl.

"Pamela?" Eric asked while he softly knocked on her door as her entire bridal party stood nervously wringing the ends of the flower bouquets in their hands. "Pamela, please open the door."

Eric ran a tired hand through his hair when she refused to answer and it remained firmly silent.

"What happened?" he demanded again from Willa who seemed to be descending into a nervous wreck. Eric noted it really was too bad Pam would most likely only be doing this once; he'd never seen torture victims break this much over such an extended period of time. He did, however, make a mental note to reward her with something when this was all done.

"I don't know," she whimpered. "All of sudden she was mad and kicked us all out."

He pulled Willa in a tender embrace and kissed the crown on her head apologetically. She really had paid for her crime in full and then some. "Pamela," he spoke more forcefully, the threat evident in his voice. "Open this door or I will."

"Only you," a very small voice instructed along with the sound of the lock unlatching.

Eric slipped in carefully keeping the prying eyes out. "Lilla gumman," he said dotingly as he found another daughter in a crumpled heap. Suddenly Eva and her zappy fingers appeared the least problematic of all his girls. "Everyone is waiting on you."

"That makes it even worse," she cried causing the dried-up tear tracks to become wet again with her crimson blood. "Two of the ice sculptures melted, the tiers of the cake are all damaged, one of the unicorns flew away, and-"

"Shhh," he commanded while stilling her lips with a forefinger to them. Eric felt slightly guilty for all the mishaps that had occurred. It was through his actions after all that Sookie had been confined to their bed and left Willa to oversee her tasks. However, since Sookie floated around like a radiating beauty because of those actions Eric's guilt was only very slight. "Viggo restored the two ice sculptures and the cake. Yours truly managed to capture the unicorn before coming to fix this little mess," he teased while clearing her face of tears, careful not to smudge the carefully applied makeup.

"But-" Pam started again.

"No buts," he admonished knowing everything that had gone or appeared to go wrong had already been rectified. "Everything is perfect as it should be. Now tell me why you are not."

"I'm supposed to be cold and heartless," she said with a tremble as tears threatened to spill again.

"And I'm supposed to be the bad ass Sheriff of Area Five," Eric spoke softly stilling the tears from their intended path. "Now I'm to be a father of five."

"Sookie's pregnant again?" she asked in confusion.

"No, according to the human notions, I'm supposed to regard Niall as my own child and call him son once you two are wed," Eric informed with all seriousness relaying what Sookie had told him that afternoon when he had expressed his insecurity of losing Pam. "I am to see it as not giving you away but gaining a son."

A smile crept onto her face and Eric couldn't quite explain the amount of relief he experienced with the sighting. "Good for you," she spoke with a patronising sneer while patting him on the shoulder. "You can finally claim that Niall got that impressive package from the Northman side."

"Pamela," he growled before his tone softened and he planted a gentle kiss to her forehead. "Good to see you back. Ready?"

She bit down on the corner of her lip briefly before staring at herself in the mirror to be certain that she looked as perfect as the rest. A brief nod was exchanged as the room was opened up again and she was hoisted into her dress while Eric waited on his eldest daughter to emerge in all her splendour.

She had foregone any veil, finding them all too superfluous alongside the simplicity of her dress now allowing her a clear view of the lengthy aisle that started from the double sets of doors at the back of the house as she wrapped her arm into Eric's offered one. In the distance under the specially built gazebo she saw Niall eagerly anticipating her arrival across the virgin snow winter wonderland that had been created in the garden. Had she been paying attention she would have noticed the minor flaws that inevitably occurred but all she could focus on were the eyes of her intended.

"Ready," she whispered with the wide smile Jason had encouraged her to wear while giving her Maker's arm a slight squeeze.

* * *

**A/N: _Lilla Gumman =_ Little old lady - Swedish term of endearment fathers use with their daughters.**

****Special thanks to MsBuffy for her continued encouragement and her excellent editing skills on this. Wedding is up next but it will be next week as Thanksgiving will have its own dedicated outtake or two for this verse so look out for that during the holiday. It will be marked as Thanksgiving Fixin's an Everything and More Outtake and be posted separately from this story. It'll show this extended family celebrating the holiday a few years on and it wouldn't be complete without Pam hijinks and uncontrollable children running around...****

****Pictures of Pam's new dress and Spike looking like Bill are up on the blog under the chapter of the same name, hisviks... dot ... wordpress ... dot ... com****


	36. Chapter 36

**#36**

"I, Niall Brigant take thee, Pamela Swynford de Beaufort, to have and to hold, in sickness and in health." The Prince of the Fae smiled happily during the recitation before quickly adding, "As long as there's spaghetti."

"You may now kiss the bride," Dr Ludwig informed after fastening their hands with a piece of string in the old Fae tradition while the crowd whispered and tittered over the unusual vows where Pam had noticeably refused to recite the _for poorer _part.

"What do you say, Precious? Shall we give them something to talk about?" he murmured against Pam's lips where his mischievous eyes found hers brimming with equal mirth. A mere raise of her eyebrows was given as consent before she found herself dipped low with a voracious fairy digging deep into the depths of her mouth with his probing tongue. The onlookers shifted somewhat uncomfortably in their chairs at the overt display which was finally interrupted by Pinnie after a good few minutes, who with a mere whimper demanded some undivided attention of her own.

"Better get to that, Toots," the little doctor slash wedding officiate informed while slapping the vampiress' ass in the direction of her child. "Don't want two giant stain marks on your pretty white dress, now do you?" she said when finding herself at the end of a menacing glare while simultaneously making circular motions around her breasts.

"No child of mine is going to ruin my wedding dress," Pam scoffed derisively. With extra measure, she glared at the small assembly of infants in warning. "I'm duct taped to within an inch of my life. There will be no leakage."

"And I can't wait to unwrap that particular present," Niall hummed happily in her ear.

"I don't know why I bother to wear nice things around you," she scolded while taking the little girl in her arms who instantly stilled and peered curiously at the large gathered crowd.

"Because you love me," he stated simply before planting a kiss on both his fussy girls. Both replied with a non-committal noise that didn't affirm nor confirm that particular statement. "Shall we?" her husband asked, gesturing towards the aisle to walk down as a married couple. Pam glanced carefully at the people surrounding them, easily finding the eyes of her Maker and the little faery telepath beside him.

"I present to you Mr. and Mrs. Swynford de Beaufort - Brigant, blah blah blah," Ludwig announced to the crowd from her perched position on the gazebo before demanding gruffly, "Where's the bar?"

"Congratulations," Eric whispered before placing a soft kiss to his progeny's forehead while Sookie appeared to be doing all the leaking Ludwig warned about in several places at once. "Sookie assures me these are 'happy' tears," he gestured helplessly.

"Just don't get them anywhere near my dress," she warned before handing Pinnie off to her Maker whose little arms were happily reaching out towards him.

"It was so beautiful," Sookie spoke softly, wiping away the tears from the corners of her expertly made up eyes.

"Of course," Pam replied unimpressed. "It's _my _wedding, what else would it be?"

"Come on, dear," Niall chuckled steering her away from the emotional set to walk back down the aisle, greeting the important set of characters to be greeted at such an event. Pam incidentally exchanged a nod with rare acquaintances who had come to gawk at the most-talked about event of the supernatural world.

"Shit," Pam complained when they reached the quiet of the house. "I'm going to start sprouting a leak soon; the little fuckers want to eat again."

"I'll be happy to help, dearie," Niall grinned, his nimble fingers already releasing her from the confines of her dress.

"OUT!" Pam screamed as she felt the urgency to need to feed the children that were being rushed over to her by Isolde and the hired help. A flummoxed Niall was unceremoniously shoved out, the fastening around their hands broken instantly before the vampiress ripped the waterproofing measure from her body and had a needy babe latch onto each breast.

"You knew what you were marrying," Eric grinned as he and Sookie passed him in the hall where he paced aimlessly. He shrugged slightly with a small smile as they continued to calmly make their way to their own children so they too could be fed and seen to.

"Wouldn't trade her for the world," Niall returned with amusement while knocking on the door hoping to gain entrance again.

* * *

"You okay, ducks?" Spike asked a seemingly lost-looking Willa. She continued to look around anxiously making sure everything was where it should be.

"I can't help but feel anxious that something's amiss," she confessed nervously.

"Always trus` those instincts, Luv," Spike instructed as he followed her gaze to anything that could be going wrong. By all appearances everything was in the right place as the crowd was slowly moved into the reception structure that had been built especially in the same style as the gazebo. In perfect coordination drinks and appetisers were carried round.

Jason was doing his best with his charm to direct everyone in the right direction while sneakily swiping a taste of cake from the back here and there, hoping that no one would notice until Lafayette intervened.

"That it?" Spike questioned.

Willa shook her head sadly, "No."

* * *

"Want to stay in for a bit?" Eric asked when he was finally released from the formal morning coat, and wasn't relishing the prospect of swapping it out for the slim cut tuxedo Pam had dictated to be worn next.

"Viggo's being a little restless," Sookie observed while she tried to suss the child after his feeding. Meanwhile Eva happily tittered on the large bed of her parents reaching her arms out for her father. He didn't hesitate to pick the little bundle up and hold her to his chest as he settled down beside Sookie.

"Something wrong?" he questioned with worry in his voice as Viggo continued to fuss. Sookie eventually got up to bob the infant while peering out the window into the dark woods that surrounded the large mansion casting out her mental net to detect any interlopers.

"I don't sense anything," Sookie shrugged. "Viggo thinks otherwise."

Eric soon joined her, using his superior night vision to rake every moving leaf of the forest. "It's probably nothing," Eric whispered soothingly before a knock on their door announced their required presence at the reception.

"You're quite the dancer, Mrs. Brigant," Niall whispered into her ear.

"You're not so bad yourself, Mr. Swynford de Beaufort," she grinned as he twirled her out in full display of the crowd.

"Mine," he spoke with delight as she returned into his arms again, his hand moving possessively over her ass to cradle her to him.

"I believe you were mine first," she teased while nipping at his neck playfully with blunt teeth.

"Only because I let you," he groaned eagerly making a particular excitement known by gyrating his hips into her core causing her to moan rather loudly.

"Ahem."

"Mother!" Niall spoke suddenly with embarrassment, putting some respectable distance between the two of them instantly as he fell under the scrutinised gaze of the ancient and impeccably dressed regal woman. "Meet Pamela," he said sheepishly.

"Ma`am," Pam nodded politely not knowing where the random woman had suddenly come from.

The ancient faery regarded her daughter-in-law carefully, holding her face tightly by the jaw while discerning every little pore and mark on her eternally youthful face. Her gloved thumbs pulled away at her lips to inspect Pam's teeth as if she were livestock while the old widow Brigant mumbled in the language of the Fae.

"Kneel," she finally demanded after she finished fingering the cloth of her party dress with an unspoken snide remark.

"Emer!" Niall exclaimed, coming to the defence of his new wife only causing the crowd to congregate around them and Eric to appear instantly by Pam's side with the sudden sighting of the uninvited guest.

"Northman," she grinned with a knowing smile in greeting before turning her face to Niall. Her satin gloved hand ran soothingly over his cheek in the same manner it had since he was a young child. "Do not worry, dear boy, I approve of this match. I simply wish to bestow a gift on your bride, with your permissions, of course." She glanced from her son's set of eyes to Eric's intermittently before both gave a brief nod at which Pamela promptly fell to her knees, bowing her head respectfully.

"Welcome to the family, dear," Emer announced ceremoniously while placing the crown from her own head upon Pam. "The Realm has a new Consort now. I relinquish my position in favour of her."

"Mother," Niall exclaimed, slightly gobsmacked as the crowd applauded and cheered. "You honour us."

She gave an uninterested shrug before turning her attention to the father of the bride, "It seemed the right thing to do. Care to dance? Show them the old folks still know what's what."

"Happy to oblige, Madam," Eric returned before sending Sookie an assuring glance that all was well. Viggo remained restless regardless of the crowd's excitement slowly dying down as his father took the old matron's hand and guided her to a freed up space on the dance floor.

"You are being most generous with my Pamela," Eric noted politely as the orchestra started up again.

"It appears so," she returned monotonously not revealing a hint of an emotion reminding Eric much of Pam's cold and heartless demeanour. "You have tied our families quite successfully."

"I was not aware," he replied vaguely with some apology over leaving Sookie to her lot the past four years in the same manner as Niall.

"Until recently," she nodded sagely. "You abided by Sookie's supposed wishes at a cost to yourself, there are not many who know that sacrifice and live it consciously. You must excuse my son's inactivity, he can only ever do one thing at a time. How he managed to keep your Pamela around for longer than five minutes is beyond me."

"I think she likes her men malleable," Eric chuckled as they observed Pam chastising Niall for missing an unimportant misstep in their dance.

"Wise woman," Emer noted with a smirk. "He'll keep her occupied for quite some time before he's fully formed. Luckily they have the advantage of time."

"Indeed," he agreed catching Sookie's worried eyes again.

"Bring me to my newest kin already," the statuesque faery demanded as she followed his glance and felt the familiar spark of her line. Eric nodded curtly before guiding her to Sookie and their two children.

"Aren't they just darling," she gushed ignoring Sookie in favour of the children who instantly sought out the uncharacteristically kind woman. She touched each of their noses with an index finger that lit up with the movement.

"What did you do?" Sookie questioned with worry.

Emer looked up at the anxious mother with a genteel smile before placing her finger on her great-great-granddaughter's nose as well, causing the electricity to cackle loudly in the air. "I am sharing my light," she shrugged. "I have plenty to go around."

It was only due to the fact that her children seemed happy and content that Sookie calmed down enough. However, Viggo soon became restless again, and Emer instantly alerted and started to scan the crowd. "Who dare disturb this union?" she seethed before her eyes sought the culprit. Despite the supernatural senses of all those around, none had caught it in time as the feral form of a wisp of a woman collided into Jason and his thieving fingers that had continued to stealthily poke away at the cake.

In the distance, the tell-tale hysterical scream that could only belong to Ginger could be heard pushing at the tolerance of the supernaturals' hearing present. The warning came too late for as she ran towards the festivities, they had already been disturbed and as the panting waitress approached she found the cake had already toppled covering Jason and the assailant in the remnants of it, fistfuls were hungrily brought to her mouth till she recognised the person she had straddled in the process.

"Jason," she whispered, her sticky hands tracing the lines of his face carefully as if he were unreal.

"Sarah?" he questioned sceptically of the dirt-ridden woman whose blonde hair had faded into a mousy brown.

A feral growl escaped her throat as her sharpened nails clutched his head towards her and his widely gaping mouth was invaded by her greedy tongue.

Momentarily shocked all Jason could think was, _'mmm cake.'_

* * *

**A**/N: Thanks to MsBuffy as ever for her superior editing skills. In case you missed it through all the holiday cheer I posted two outtakes for this verse where the kids are a couple of years older on Thanksgiving Day and put on an adorably cute performance in Fangsgiwin` and experience shopping vampire style on Black Friday with Pam and Spike in Into the Black. Find them both under my profile. Two more chapters after this and then we're done on this verse but I'm sure this lovable family will inspire some future outtakes again. ****


	37. Chapter 37

**#37**

While Jason was slowly digesting the cake, realisation finally sunk in. He had managed to flip over the frail woman on top of him, pinning her to the ground beneath as they were descended upon by incensed Supernaturals from all angles.

"She got away!" Ginger shrieked between heavy pants when she finally reached the party holding the sparkly pink confines that had previously kept Sarah Newlin in place in the dungeon of Fangtasia.

"I knew I should have shot you when I had the chance!" Jason yelled angrily. "You ruined my cake!"

"_Your _cake?" Pam questioned with a raised brow.

"Well, I picked it…," he retorted sadly, while everyone held their necessary or unnecessary breath when they saw his serious contemplation of eating the fallen pieces on the ground before he gave up with a petulant huff.

"Perhaps you should have this conversation somewhere more private," Emer said, with a pointed look when she recognised to whom the sunken face belonged.

"Yes, Mother," Niall answered quickly taking the malnourished and wildly flailing woman in his arms before teleporting them both into the house hoping no one else had recognised Sarah.

"Carry on," Emer gestured towards the orchestra and the stilled dancers who hesitantly started up again. She pushed a startled Eric and Sookie towards each other with a knowing eye as she whispered, "They're in need of a show, go on."

"Sookie?" he asked, reaching for her hand feigning innocence.

"Eric," she gritted out, desperately trying to maintain her composure when he pulled her in close to his body. "What is the meaning of this?"

"It's complicated," Eric whispered back in return.

"That's the understatement of the year," she hissed out at the lowest volume possible. "God, I really am an idiot. '_We derived the formula from a piece of glass with her blood on it_.' Horse pucky!"

"Sookie," he pleaded.

"I thought you were better than that," she said, causing him to feel the full force of her disappointment, which made him completely reassess what he had defined as pain up to that point in his existence. She knew Sarah had been tied up in his basement and, at the time, she felt it the best place to be and she had genuinely believed she had escaped. Perhaps it was more wishful thinking than she cared to admit. "Now shut up, we've never danced before."

Tentatively he held her closer imitating the intimacy they held under normal circumstances as Emer regarded them from the edge guarding their children fiercely. When the music started to die down and the crowd returned to their previous engagements, she summoned them both with a gesture of her fingers at which Eric stealthily guided them back. Viggo looked extremely upset while Eva looked downright pissed while their great-great-grandmother did her best to hand them to their parents as soon as possible.

"They don't tolerate the disharmony between the two of you very well," she said slyly. "Now apologise and get over it already."

"I guess I've been an idiot too these past four years," Eric whispered into her ears as Viggo cried discontentedly against her chest.

"At least I was only half an idiot," Sookie teased slightly soothing their son. "What were you thinking?"

"As I said it was complicated," he tried to explain while trying to beckon her back to the house so they could have this conversation truly in private.

"_He was thinking she would never be persecuted for the true extent of her crimes with the human law enforcement and their stance on vampire rights," _Emer informed her telepathically. "_The vampire authorities would have called for her death instantly while he was still trying to distil the cure from her blood and still is."_

"_You can read his mind?"_

"No, dear," she spoke aloud when closing the back door from prying ears. "I am too old now to no longer have an excuse for not understanding how the world works. We can't always make the right choice when we want to. We are all but victims of circumstances."

"That's a rather fatalistic point of view," Sookie noted as Viggo seemed to finally calm from the anxiety he had been carrying throughout the night.

"Fate, chance, destiny; it can be cruel and it can be kind," she shrugged. "It's how we meet adversity and handle fortune that allows us to truly stand the test of time. _That _is what determines your path."

"I made the best of a bad situation, Sookie," Eric tried to explain, while taking Emer's words as a starting point. "She would have been in far worse hands had I not intervened."

"Maybe," she admitted. "It doesn't explain why you would pimp her out to be sucked dry by the wealthiest fangs of the world," Sookie said crossly, awakening Eva's ire alongside hers. "Or why she is dirt ridden and emaciated!"

He looked at her with confusion marring his face before answering with cool, contained anger, "Those are things I would like the answers for too."

* * *

"You're lookin` properly lickable," Spike grinned while pulling Jason up from the remnants of cake and quickly swiping his roughened tongue over the side of his face causing him to shiver with the assault before Jason lashed out and shoved him away in sudden panic. However, his sudden move caused them both to lose their balance when Spike latched onto him causing them to slide over the spilt cake forcing them to both end up writhing on the ground where Jason found himself pinned down by another body once more.

"Mmm," Spike grinned while Jason's eyes widened as his face hovered predatorily low while fingers teased through his hair. "Even better access."

He winced as puckered lips came terrifyingly close to his face, praying his body wouldn't react with excitement to this vampire's attentions. "_Lover_, is it?" he whispered huskily into his ear causing Jason's entire body to stiffen with fear before Spike fell apart in laughter and helped him up again. "Had an interestin` chat with your wife earlier," he winked while taking in the horrified expression with sheer delight. "Guess withou` tha blonde locks you lost interest in me, yeah?"

"Not cool, man," he grumbled while wiping away the remnant cake from his suit.

"She the ex, then?" Spike taunted with a waggle of his eyebrows. "Los` her shiny blonde hair too, I see."

"Something like that," Jason shrugged not wanting to meet the impossibly deep blue eyes of the probing vampire. "What did Brigette say?"

"She stormed off in a huff with your lil` ones," he returned while Jason was desperately seeking out his phone. "Managed to calm her down a bit. Somethin` 'bout your obsession with the undead."

"FUCKING BITCH!" Jason screamed sprinting towards the house in panic with Spike following at a leisurely speed behind.

"Wonderbitch has his phone," Spike smirked when Jason couldn't make out a coherent sentence through the enraged panting as they barged in on Eric berating his eldest progeny for her secret dealings. The phone was instantly snatched from her body by Pam in an effort to appease her Maker who had yet to lose the angry scowl on his face.

Jason tried desperately to reach Brigette on all the phone numbers available to him after reading the insane text messages a delusional Sarah had sent out of 'their' supposed happily ever after. Willa slipped in, highly embarrassed that she had not prevented the interruption to the wedding reception.

"I'm so sorry, Pam," she whispered tentatively, trying desperately to avoid the scornful look of her Maker. "I don't know where she came from."

"This is Pam's own doing," Eric spoke stoically when it appeared the blonde vampiress was about to go off on Willa. "How could you leave her in the care of Ginger of all people? I asked you to do one thing, Pamela, keep the cure safe till it is fully synthesised. Instead you feed the cure to any willing vampire with the cash. How stupid can you be? You have endangered the safety of all of us, of our children!"

"Now-" Niall attempted to interrupt in defence of his bride.

"It is your wedding," Eric amended with a bit of sympathy when Sookie squeezed his hand with a worried nod to Eva's rising temper. "This is as generous as I'll be with you. The festivities will continue as planned while I ascertain the damage control. You shall go on your honeymoon and enjoy yourself."

"And when we return?" Pam asked in a very small and terrified voice.

"When you return you will plan Willa's wedding," he finished with a smirk.

"What?" Pam balked. "She's not even engaged!"

"Yes," Eric grinned. "You'll be catering to her every whim till she decides to get married."

"How `bout it then Willa, Luv," Spike taunted beside her with a leering look, wanting an immediate in on the tormenting of his cousin. "Wanna walk down the aisle with ol` Spikey here?"

Had she still been human a flabbergasted Willa would have blushed profusely with the proposal; however, the memories of Pam's insane demands had her answering coolly, "You know what? I'm still young. Maybe in a century or so."

"Ta, pet," he grinned with an equally cheery glint in his eyes. "You play the long game well."

"What about me?" Jason whimpered when another call was rejected once more.

"What about you?" Pam sneered. "If you hadn't been standing there sneaking bites at my cake there would have been some for the rest."

"Pamela!" Eric growled out in reprimand. "One more word and you'll be his bitch too. You can thank your lucky stars for Jason! Everyone assumes the girl is a jealous ex rather than the highly sought after Sarah Newlin."

A small grumbled apology escaped Pam's lips till all those present fell to silence.

"I had a backup cake made, just in case," Willa smiled kindly, causing Jason to cheer up slightly until he received another text message from Brigette instructing him to leave her alone. "They're replacing it as we speak."

"Come on, let me buy you a pint, mate," Spike offered consolingly to a sullen Jason.

"You realise it's an open bar, right?"

"Tha's why I'm buying," Spike returned while patting him on the back before catching Willa's eyes to deliver an exaggerated wink her way. "Come on, pet, we have an engagement to celebrate. Don` leave me hanging too long. I was promised a dance."

"I'll be right out, _dear_," she grinned back knowing the 'Big Bad' would be her perfect accomplice in giving Pam as good as she gave. "I'm thinking sea-foam green and orange as our colours."

"As long as I get ta wear my leather duster," he called out before leading Jason to the bar to drown out his misery, managing to see the look of horror on Pam's eternal face. "An` I want chicken wings and bloomin` onions at the reception."

"You're a cruel, fucking bastard, Eric Northman," Pam accused with a pointed finger to his chest that Eva instantly grabbed onto with a giggle allowing the vampiress to feel the charge of her light.

"But you still love me?" he taunted.

"Fucking right I do," she huffed. "I'm sorry about Sarah. We needed the cash to stay afloat when everything was invested in New Blood. Leaving her with Ginger in charge was probably a stupid call. I'm not as on point since giving birth to the little fuckers. I've been nothing but a fucking milk dispensing machine since they've been born."

"Understandable," Eric replied with a small sigh before kissing her softly on her forehead. "Go enjoy your wedding now; the guests are beginning to wonder where you are."

"I shall see to it she is properly contained," Niall offered gesturing to the still feral Sarah struggling against her restraints. Eric gave a brief nod of agreement before they all moved back to the wedding party.

"Am I forgiven too?" Eric whispered to Sookie's ear as they watched the happily married couple dance the night away as if nothing had occurred, the incident long forgotten by the attending guests.

"I may have been quick to judge," she admitted. "Telepathy can do that to a girl."

He cupped her face to meet his gaze before kissing her softly. "Let us have a real first dance then?"

"I'd like nothing more," she smiled back brightly.

* * *

**A/N: Poor Jason has some explaining to do with his wife… poor sod. In case you missed it through all the holiday cheer I posted ****two**** outtakes for this verse where the kids are a couple of years older on Thanksgiving Day where they put on an adorably cute performance in **_**Fangsgiwin' **_**and experience shopping vampire style on Black Friday with Pam and Spike in **_**Into the Black**_**. Next chapter will be the last of the epilogue. It will only be outtakes for this giant family, most likely around holidays etc. from here on out :(**

**Special thanks to MsBuffy for fixin` my messes again :)**


	38. Chapter 38

**#38**

"Pamela, darling, you have to get the recipe for this," Niall groaned with delight while the spaghetti flavoured cake was attacked with gusto. "I want this for dessert every night."

"Niall, we have to go now," she returned impatiently while gesturing to the white chariot that already contained all their children dozing contentedly. "We have to be on the plane by sunrise."

"Just one more piece?" he pleaded, eyeing the groom's cake that only seemed to be touched by him and Jason.

"Fine," she sighed before gesturing to one of the staff to wrap up the rest of the cake to take along. "Then we leave. Lafayette, you take those cans of my carriage right now! We're not hillbillies!"

He shrugged and did what he was told while mumbling about their family relations not being too far off, leaving the 'Just Married Bitches!" sign in place before joining the small crowd that had gathered to wave them off. Soon they would depart to their honeymoon on Eric's plantation in Barbados, leaving the artificial winter wonderland that was their wedding theme behind.

"You're the best wife ever," Niall announced almost incoherently while still digesting the last bites of cake before impatiently waving everyone off and pulling her along into the carriage where she landed with a shriek in his lap. The onlookers only ever saw the flailing legs moving excitedly in the air until the unicorn-pulled carriage disappeared from view.

* * *

Jason's dry mouth mumbled nonsensically, drooling over the pale white chest his head was resting on. His left hand lingered over something soft and cool while a pleasant warmth resided between his splayed out thighs. Narrowed slits opened in fear of morning light but he found the room to be lit only by the faint illumination of a digital clock. He groaned with sudden realisation, but any hasty movement was impended by the pounding in his head. He slowly rolled his head to the middle of a pillow while carefully extracting his hand from Willa's body who lay to his other side, her ill-fitting bridesmaid dress half off her body.

Taking a deep breath with his squinted eyes he dared peek at his own state of his undress when he carefully lifted the covers up in the relative darkness. He sighed a breath of relief when he saw the familiar sight of his tighty whities underwear. His relief; however, was short-lived as the limited light in the room caught the glint of two eyes between his thighs

"JESUS FUCKING CHRIST!"

"Morning stud," the tiny doctor greeted with a cluck of her tongue before crawling up his body to reach for the bottle of tequila on the night stand and pouring half the contents into her drinking helmet with matching Viking horns. The movements and Jason's hoarse shout had woken the two nocturnal creatures beside him as Dr Ludwig continued to sit on Jason's bare chest gurgling her morning breath away with the alcohol.

"Did we?" Jason winced while gesturing his finger between them.

"No, you fucking prudes!" Ludwig exclaimed while spraying out the alcohol from her mouth with the preposterous thought. "Like I'd have sex with you lot. No offense, but I'm a little out of your league. I only came in here because baby vamp over there thought she was pregnant and you fumbling idiots were too amusing not to watch."

"I vaguely remember sipping off of Preston," Willa whispered while she came to with the same fears of what exactly had been so amusing to the doctor.

"Yes," Ludwig scoffed as she scooted herself off the bed. "And your tiny little brain panicked and thought you were pregnant."

"Sorry," she offered sheepishly before Ludwig dismissively waved them away, and with a sour face she put her dark rimmed sunglasses on and popped away. The three remaining bed mates groaned as the angry tire spin of the doctor's hummer in the gravel drive attacked the weak states of their brain before speeding off in what they assumed was a cloud of dust.

"Bloody hell!" Spike whimpered while stretching his naked body against Jason without much thought, causing him to instantly seek refuge with Willa. "Some party."

"Did we-?" Willa asked with a discernible wobble in her voice.

"I'm not sure," Jason answered with equal concern retreating from their close hold instantly. He ran his hand down his tight throat with a hiss. "Which one of you fed on me?"

"I think we both did," Willa returned shyly as her fingers found another set of fang marks with her superior vision in the dark. Both sets of dark brown eyes found Spike's blue ones hoping he would give insight. He simply turned his body to light the room with a soft light before meeting the eager sets of wanting eyes.

"Know as much as you lot," he shrugged before taking a swig from the bottle of booze the doctor left behind. "Think I was more pissed than the two of you combined."

"We were mad?" Willa pondered aloud while pulling the sheets closer over her body in an attempt to regain her modesty.

"Drunk, Luv," he grinned in explanation, till he winced in pain when the corner of his mouth came into contact the swelling of a bruised cheek. "Bollocks. Think Vicky got mad at me though."

"Yes!" Jason said excitedly happy to regain some sort of memory. "I caught you when Eric punched you in the face. You were out cold and Willa helped me carry you here."

"With Preston!" Willa pitched in cheerfully, happy to uncover some memories of her own.

"Wha` I do this time?" Spike whined while caressing the swollen skin, checking for any further damages.

"I think you danced a little too closely with Sookie," Willa recalled vaguely while removing an empty champagne bottle from beside her thighs where she prayed upon God that it was the remnants from the bubbly drink that explained the stickiness on her thighs.

"Mmm, sounds like me," the vampire admitted. "Did I at least ge` a good punch in?"

"Erm." Jason and Willa exchanged a brief apologetic glance before they answered in unison, "No."

"Bugger tha`," Spike complained. "I'll clock the sod next time I see him."

"I think I kissed him," Jason suddenly shrieked.

"Me an` you, Luv?" Spike grinned with a demonstrative eyebrow waggle.

"No! Eric," he answered with wide eyes remembering the tongue he drove into the father of his sister's children with no warning while Sookie and Spike danced the night away. "I remember somethin` about him being my soul."

"YES!" Willa shouted causing them all to cringe with the sudden assault to their ear drums. "You kept saying you had to get your soul back. Then the blonde bit will forgive you. That Eric was _your _blonde bit."

"I wasn` talking about some chit named Buffy again, was I?" Spike grumbled and heaved a heavy sigh when their diplomatic silence spoke volumes. "Did I cry?" Again silence reigned, causing Spike to wash away the bitter taste of the morning with the heavy spirit on the side table.

"I think we were all nursing our wounds over something blonde," Willa offered sympathetically as their eyes met.

"Oh my God!" Jason exclaimed, giddy with excitement. "You two kissed."

Two sets of eyes widened quickly to deny as much before the memories came flooding back. "Please tell me that's all we did," Willa pleaded desperately with her addled brain. "Is this yours?" she asked timidly shoving off the oversized golden band from her thumb and handing it back to him when he nodded. "Think we took our faux engagement a little far last night."

"Last thing I `member is your lips, Luv," Spike shrugged, glad to know it was all just play. His eyebrows scrunched in a little looking at Jason. "An` I may have been cupping your balls at the time."

Fear exploded behind Jason's eyes as his upper body swung up in shock, only to scream upon sighting his reflection in the mirror. His previous horror was overtaken, not by the fang marks or the red stained lip marks left behind by blood all over his body rather than the traditional lipstick. No, Jason sat in wonder touching what once was his hair. "Why the hell do I look like Spike?"

Willa cried a little with wide eyes as she discovered the bottles of hydrogen peroxide in the bathroom. It wasn't the champagne that had left her sticky between the thighs after all; she prayed against all odds that her memory was off, but no such relief was found as she peered into her briefs and found her pubic hairs the same platinum shade as Jason's head. "What the hell is a 'Spikette'?" she demanded of the word etched in permanent marker on the skin above her mound.

"Hey I'm one too," Jason said gruffly as he took in the inked tramp stamp on his lower back while taking in a closer inspection of his marked body in the mirror.

"Guess you two are mine now, bitches," Spike grinned as the sheet on his body fell perilously close to revealing all of his nudity in the dimly lit room. When the two dumbfounded faces appeared to be descending into absolute horror and little whimpers were becoming a prelude to breakdowns, Spike finally relented. "Relax you gits, nothin` happened."

"Nothing?" Willa whispered. "Except the kiss."

"We had a bit of a snog," he shrugged with the authority of someone who had found all his memories again. "It was innocent in comparison to the one the lil` doctor an` I shared. Now le`s get some kip and later today we'll sort out your hairs in Pam's lil` salon."

"Promise we'll never speak of this again," Willa requested softly of them both when they settled back into bed again.

"Whatever you want, Luv," Spike agreed, not all too fond to relive every event of the night either.

Jason looked a little sullen at the prospect until, like a puppy he found his own waggling tail to cheer him up again. "You think there's any of that spaghetti cake left?"

* * *

"Is everybody gone?" Sookie whispered when she joined Eric in the living room, freshly woken from a restful sleep. It was already well past dawn and she marvelled at the small spread of breakfast he had attempted to cook for her.

"Finally have the house to ourselves now," he murmured contentedly before kissing her softly and guiding her to sit on his lap while he fed her the unusual array of breakfast foods. It was more an assortment of her favoured foods, most were still the strange concoctions her pregnant body had craved but she was touched by the effort he had put into it.

"This is nice," she smiled while he played with the silk sash of her robe. "Just us."

He hummed contentedly in return of the house being filled with their small family while she daintily dabbed the corners of her mouth with the cloth napkin. "I need your help."

"With what?" she questioned as her arms moved around his neck. "Thank you for breakfast," Sookie smiled against his lips before losing them both in a deepened kiss.

"Picking out a colour," he finally managed to answer when he stood up and picked her up as if he were carrying her over a threshold. With less haste and practice he managed to set her down unharmed in the study where his large desk was covered in floor plans and elevations.

"I'm building this, to go at the end of the property, on the hill," he explained showing the approximate location near the old Stackhouse homestead making it appear like a guesthouse in comparison to the newly planned building. "Now I can't decide whether to go with this," Eric said holding up a very bright pink paint swatch, "or this," he finished with a muted yellow in his other hand.

"I think I like it in white," Sookie returned with confusion while she gestured towards the renderings of the finished home.

"Sookie," he growled impatiently. "I am asking if you if you prefer it for you," he demanded holding up the yellow swatch again before exchanging it for the pink, "or for Pam."

"Oh!" she exclaimed with a bright smile. "Definitely yellow!"

"You like it then?" Eric said with a self-satisfied smirk.

"It looks like Russell's house," she observed after going through the floor plans with a less superficial glance than before. Indeed Eric had instructed the architect to take the same inspiration from Palladio's Villa Rotunda which Russell's mansion was clearly modelled after.

"Some old CCTV footage from Fangtasia informed me you like that house."

"I do. Almost traded your life and Bill's for it," she finished with an innocently teasing wink. "Won't it be too big?"

"I thought we agreed we could use the extra room soon," Eric countered as his hands traced over her now flattened stomach.

"So soon?" she whispered against his lips.

"It'll be ready by Thanksgiving."

"That's nine months from now," Sookie returned with confusion.

His eyebrows rose with a knowing look while hands sought out the bare flesh hidden underneath her robe. "Exactly."

-The End-

* * *

**A/N: Thank you all for coming on this crazy and sometimes downright insane ride with me and of course your conviction that the Niall/Pam ship was one to happily board in the end when I clearly had other thought on the matter. Thank you for the encouragement and excitement on this story that was only supposed to be a few chapters long… I hope you all enjoyed the conclusion of the epilogue, that it finally washed away the bitter aftertaste of that series finale in the process. I'll miss writing Spike and Crazy Niall but I'm sure they'll pop up now and then even if it is just in a sporadic outtake.**

**A very special thanks to MsBuffy who edited through these fixin's like a pro (which she is in every sense of the word and I'm still slightly fearful of the bill I'm expecting to come my way **** ). I don't think I would have made this far and with my sanity intact had she not helped me out with the workload I had shifted on to myself. I looked it up today, I wrote nearly 90,000 words for the fixin's series including the outtakes in the three months since the series finale aired alongside my other WIPs but apart from a few fretful moments I enjoyed penning this story all along for its preposterousness and outlandish storylines and I'm surely going to miss this crazy family and the kids and I don't think I can ever look at spaghetti ever the same.**

**MsBuffy has also been kind enough to go over the earlier chapters before she came on board to Beta because I know at the speed these were churned out mistakes were left to linger. As soon as I get them back (and I stressed she take her merry time with them) I will be putting up a .pdf and .epub version under the download section on the blog for those who would like a bundled copy to keep.**

**In case I failed to respond to a review of yours here or there, I do apologise as this site doesn't always give me the best overview. Know that I'm thankful and do take the time to read each and everyone. To the guest reviewers who have been nothing but kind, thank you too, I unfortunately can't respond to you directly but I hope this will suffice :)**

**I am marking this story as complete but I will put up a chapter notifying whenever a new outtake is posted.**


	39. Chapter 39

**A new outtake has been posted for this story called ****Thanksgiving Fixin's: Meet me Under the Stars an EAM Outtake. It's in three parts and will be updated daily through Christmas. Enjoy!**


	40. Chapter 40

**A/N: This is a little notice for those who enjoyed the Fixin's EAM family, another outtake is now up titled: ****Thanksgiving Fixin's: A Midsommar Night's Dream an EAM outtake.**** It's a few chapters long and will be posted in relatively quick succession. **


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True Blood, Humor, Romance