Dark Angel 1. Planting the seeds

Disclaimer: The only character that I claim so far is Jen. She's mine. Everyone else is…well, not.

Author's note: Jen is only used as a catalyst, so don't get put off by how she seeming importance in the first chapter. She fades away soon enough. Also I would really appreciate your reviews.

I'M A REVIEW JUNKIE!

Has Anyone Every Written Anything For You?

Chapter 1: Planting the Seeds

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~*~
    
    Well, no one told me about her
    Though they all knew
    Well, it's too late to say you're sorry
    How would I know, why should I care
    Please don't bother trying to find her
    She's not there....
    Well, let me tell you about the way she looked
    The way she acted, the color of her hair
    Her voice is soft and cool
    Her eyes are clear and bright
    But she's not there...

~ The Zombies, "She's not there"

~*~

Max was laughing, a full-throated, full-bodied laugh. The sound pervaded the apartment like the smell of roses on a summer's day. It was beautiful and arresting and the second it reached Logan's ears he went completely still. His hand stayed outstretched to pick up a piece of paper, mouth hanging open in a curious "o" not forming the rest of the word he had been in the middle of, and head cocked slightly to the left as he stared uncomprehendingly into green eyes. The thought struck him suddenly to wonder whether he had heard that sound before. As pink lips screwed up he knew the answer was 'no' and it filled him with regret that he had never had the occasion to. 

Letting his hand drop just short of its destination he gave a weak smile to the owner of the eyes and turned in his chair. "What the –?' The words died on his lips as his breath caught in his throat at the scene before him. 

Alec's muscled arms were wrapped tightly around Max's slender waist as he tried to wrest a bag of Skittles from her. "Come on, give 'em to me! I want the red ones!" He managed to choke out between laughs. 

"I don't think so, I found them they're mine!" With a swift elbow jab to his stomach she was dancing away holding the Skittle's bag up in triumph, her ebony hair swirling around her shoulders like a belly dancer's veils. He recovered quickly and snatched it out of her hands mid-victory dance. 

With the classic Alec smirk he opened the bag, "They're mine now."

"God, can you get any more immature?" The malice that would usual fill that remark though not completely gone was softened by the smile stretching her perfect carnelian lips.

"Um, nah nah na boo boo?" The smirk was plastered across his face as he poured out a handful of Skittles and offered it to her. Logan bit his lip as he watched the exchange trying to ignore the itching in the back of his head that he had been fending off for over a month now. Alec seemed to be popping up more and more as time wore on, especially after Max had learned about Rachel. A potent reminder that she had been wrong about him all along and she seemed determined to make up for it. Though the two X5s weren't completely comfortable with each other it seemed they were making an effort.

"They seem to get along quite smashingly don't they?" Logan turned at the sound of the smooth purr to stare into cat green eyes. They belonged to a woman with long blonde hair and the name Jen. She was part of the S1W and was currently working with Logan on cracking a code that Max and Alec had just brought to him. Liberated from a dirty millionaire who had worked quite happily along with Manticore. She had a striking face; full lips, pale skin, and wide upturned eyes the color of new leaves that didn't miss a thing and that face had an odd way of looking amused so that Logan was always wondering what the joke was. He had the sudden apprehension that right that moment he was.

With a pained smile Logan ignored the stab of emotion he refused to name, "Yes, well, I'm just glade nothing's actually being smashed for once. They do have the habit of ruining some very expensive pieces of art."

She chuckled softly in his ear from where she was leaning over his computer. Jen was intelligent and had a tendency to be too witty for anyone else's own good. She straightened her back in an almost feline stretch before once again turning back to the computer screen. "They're just like two little kittens fighting over some string. It's cute."

"Yeah. Don't you think we should focus on the code rather than the antics of my cat burglars."

"I think it's appropriate."

"Max!" The bellow made everyone in the room jump except for Alec who had bellowed and, of course, Max who blinked at him innocently.

"I can't figure the base of the code." Logan reached desperately for anyway to distract the keen gaze of the blonde. 

"Alec!" it was his turn to look innocent. The smirk two seconds later ruined the whole effect, of course.

"Try multiplying the numbers by three and matching them to the alphabet. Did dirty Harry know any other languages we might need to know about?" She let the words drip from her lips as languidly as if she were stretching.

"Not according to any of my information."

"I'm so gonna kick your ass." The petulant voice of Max was almost a relief until she started laughing again.

"Then it shouldn't be too horribly complex." She her lips quirked up as she looked down at the screen. "Which means I'll probably be here all night."

"Mm hmm." Logan was trying not to look at the wrestling match that had broken out behind him but it was getting harder with every piercing laugh. The bright green of her eyes seemed to glow for a fraction of a second before she chuckled again. She stood up straight and turned so that she could rest against the edge of the computer table her arms crossed over her chest.

"We always had animals in my house while I was growing up. At one time we had four cats and a German Shepherd. I'm not even going to try and explain how chaotic that period of time was." She gave a half smile to fond memories before shrugging her shoulders. "At some point we just had this one cat, Miss Kitty Fantastico, don't ask my brother was eight, but anyway she was this beautiful gray tiger tabby. We loved that cat to death." She chuckled low in her throat, her eyes staring beyond Logan; he couldn't help but be curious where this story was going. It had some purpose; anything Jen said had some purpose. "There was this blonde tomcat down the street who would come by at least once a week to harass her, he was a nice cat he just loved to rub her fur the wrong way. We all just called him Tom, I don't think he really belonged to anyone."

"What is it with you and stealing my food today?" Max called before the sound of more rustling reached Logan's ears. He refused to turn around to see what had Jen's eyes sparkling. 

"It tastes better when it's yours."

"He just _loved_ to harass her." Jen purred softly. "Well, one week he came by and for two days he just followed her around. Everywhere she went he was there trying to bring her presents. We had a lot of half eaten dead mice around, which was really gross." She gave a soft shudder before going on. "We thought, she's gonna kick his little butt all the way around the block. Nope, she was just tickled pink that he was so attentive. She was a indoors cat so every night we would bring her back inside and the second night Tom stood outside our door and cried like a little baby. It was only when she started crying back that we realized she was in heat."

Logan found it hard to swallow around the lump in his throat as his nails dug into the armrests of his chair. "In heat, huh?"

"Yup. We refused to let her out, despite the many protests of our prisoner, hoping against hope to avoid any unwanted situations. Tom just wouldn't go away, he was always in the yard hanging around the doors trying to slip in between our feet. As I said, my brother was eight, so he didn't pay too much attention to when he left the door open when he went out to play." Jen bit her lip thoughtfully as she smiled at the sound of a thud echoing through the room. "We had six kittens to take care of after that." 

Suddenly the laughter seemed to mock him as he finally turned around to see Alec holding Max in a headlock as she slapped at his hands. Logan growled under his breath, fighting the urge to yell at them. He couldn't help but hate Alec for being able to do something so simple as touch Max.

"I think we aren't gonna be able to crack this code tonight neither of us is really paying half as much attention to it as we should. Let's work on it for twenty more minutes before we call it a night. I'll just come back by tomorrow."

"That sounds good, but the twenty minutes probably won't do much."

"Not with those two rough housing." She lifted her chin as she smiled brightly in the two transgenics direction. "Hey, you two, c'me 'ere." She grinned as the pushed apart and walked with as much dignity as possible over to her side of the room. Jen looked at Max, shaking her head slightly. "How about you, me, and the tomcat go for a couple of drinks at The Crash tonight?"

"That sounds good," Max's voice was smooth as she smiled running a hand through her tangled hair.

Jen's eyes slitted and shifted towards Logan, "Wanna come along?"

"No, I think I'm gonna keep working." There was a brief flash of triumph when he saw the disappointment on Max's face.

"All right. How about you two go ahead and Logan and I can work for a little while in peace?"

Alec smirked confidently, "we can do that."

Jabbing her elbow into his mid-section she smiled just as brightly saying, "we'll see ya there."

They watched the two leave, bickering the whole way, before Logan let out a small sigh. "Why did you tell me that story? What's the point of rubbing it in my face?"

"I'm not trying to, I just want to make sure you're aware of things."

"Like what? That Max is going to go into heat and do things with Alec that she can't do with me because of the virus?"

"No, because when she goes into heat it's gonna be dangerous."

That stopped Logan from spitting out the reproach he had opened his mouth for, instead what came out in a breathy whisper was. "Dangerous?"

This time she wasn't smiling as she looked down at him. "Watch Alec, he'll know when Max is goin' to go into heat long before anyone else. He won't realize that he knows, but deep down in that part of him that's _all_ cat, he'll know. When she finally does go into heat I suggest you put them in a little padded room away from people."

"Why dangerous?"

"When he gets one whiff of her he's gonna go primal. She won't be far behind. Instincts that have died out in normal people aren't even close to dying out in them. Theirs are gonna be screamin'. Let's just say if he finds anyone tryin' to hit on Max he gonna get…upset that someone is trying to steal his mate." She leaned down close to Logan making full eye contact to push the point home. "It'll get bloody. I'm telling you this so you aren't one of the people he throws into a brick wall."

"You're warning is noted."

"I hope so."

"Why don't you go ahead and go? I'm not going to be able to work on this right now." He closed his green eyes slowly taking a deep breath before looking at her.

"You goin' to see Asha anytime soon?"

"Yeah, we have plans tonight." He bit his tongue as he watched everyone of Jen's muscles freeze.

"I thought you said you were going to work?"

"We are. Some Eye Only work that will probably take most of the night." Jen just nodded her head slowly as she grabbed her coat and headed out the door. "Thanks for the warning." Logan called to her softly just as she was halfway out the door.

"Yeah."


	2. Frustration

Disclaimer: The only character that is mine so far is Jen. She's mine. The others aren't. Though I'd love a piece of Alec

Author's note: Yes, this is an M/A and I think there should be many many more out there. 

Has Anyone Ever Written Anything for You?

Chapter 2: Frustration

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What would you do, to get to me?

What would you say, 

To have your way?

Would you give up,

Or try again?

If I hesitate to let you win

Or would you be yourself

Or play your role

Tell all the boys to keep it low

If I say no would you turn away

Or play me off

Or would you stay

At first you don't succeed

Dust yourself off and try again

_~ Aaliyah, "Try Again"_

~*~

Max slid into the seat next to Original Cindy giving her a smile before grabbing a beer. "I've 'bout had it with transgenic meat sacks tryin' to take my stuff." She gave a pointed look to Alec before shifting her wide brown eyes to where her plate had been. 

"Max, you really should do something about this inability to share." Alec's delectable pink lips were crushed together as the dark eyebrows pulled together over dancing green eyes. He ran a hand through his already tousled blonde hair as he pushed the plate back towards her. Looking at Jen with pursed lips he laughed, "such issues."

"I'll share, just not with you." Her full carnelian lips quirked as her head made a whip like motion as she picked up a French fry. 

"You are kind of hard on 'im, boo." Original Cindy said with a tight smile at Alec who was talking quietly to Sketchy. He turned to grin at them, before Sketchy slapped at his arm motioning for a pool table.

"We'll be back ladies."

"Don't hurry," Jen said underneath her breath as she crossed her eyes and stuck her tongue out at Max. "Do you two never stop bickering like small children? I thought you had become friends or some cheesy shit like that."

"They're friends, yes, but tensions still runnin' high." Rolling her eyes Original Cindy put one cocoa colored hand up in mock surrender when Max glared at her.

"I can't help that he pisses me off." Looking past Jen towards the pool tables she grimaced. "He's disgusting. They've been up there less then five minutes and he's already got some bleach blonde hanging off his arm. Pathetic much."  
"Can you really blame him?" Jen asked with a smirk. Looking over her shoulder at the man she couldn't blame the blonde either. Tall, tan, muscled, strong jaw, perfect lips, skin like heaven, mysterious eyes, and enough charm to talk a fox out of it's dinner; she didn't know how a woman could refuse to take him for a test drive.

"Course I can. There's no reason why I shouldn't."

"If he weren't such a cat, I'd call him a dog." Cindy took a bite out of one of Max's fires with the delicate precision of a woman making a point. 

"You have to feel alittle sorry for him!" Jen looked at the other two girls with wide eyes and an open mouth. 

"Why? Cause he can't decide what the flavor of the day should be?"

"No, because he has to have a flavor of the week."

"Huh?" Max's eyebrows pulled together furrowing her brows softly, as she cocked her head slightly to the side.

"Think about it." Jen paused dramatically, waiting for the two women to actually think about what she was saying before going on. "He can't get no satisfaction."

"What?" The voices were raised at the same time as the women stared at her.

Jen turned to Max patiently, "Have you ever had sex with an X5 much less a transgenic?"

"No." The look on her face spoke volumes of disgust.

"Don't knock it chic, not 'til you've tried it. But that's besides the point. You've had sex then with normal men, right?" At her nod, Jen looked to Cindy to see if she was following before starting again. "Any outside of heat?" Another nod before she went on. "How much did you have to hold back on a normal day?"

Max's face went slightly pale, "hold back?"

"I'll imagine that it was just enough that you had to be in control of yourself at all times, right?" Another nod. "In a normal…coupling who is the most likely to damage their partners, men or women?"

"Men," Cindy said trying not to laugh that she was the one who had answered.

Jen smiled not having missed the irony, "Alec is a man, who has never been with another transgenic. A supple, _strong_, bend-y man who only has access to normal not so supple, not even one third as strong, and not usually quite so bend-y women. 

"Which means–." Max let the sentence trail off.

"He's never actually been able to–." Original Cindy let hers trail off as well.

Jen decided to finish from them. "Lose control or have an actual true release. How _frustrated _do you think he is? He has to go from chica to chica so he doesn't break 'em. What does it tell you, that while he was dating your co-workers, they were still able to ride their bikes everyday?"

"What?" Max was trying her best not to picture Alec doing…anything. Especially if the act didn't' require clothing. 

"He's a very, very considerate lover." Both Cindy's and Max's eyebrows rose as they looked from each other to where Alec and Sketchy were playing pool. A blonde as Alec smiled confidently down at her.

"Well, Max, if ya ev'r wanna help a brother out…" Cindy dodged a blow that never came, because Max wasn't paying attention. Instead it was trained on Alec; her full bottom lip caught between pearly white teeth as her eyes racked the hard planes of his body. Those large wide slanted brown eyes sparkled as she ran her tongue slowly over her lips. "Max? Max!"

Her whole body jerked as she looked at Cindy, "What?"

"I said, 'if ya ev'r wanna help a brother out…'"

"That's sick! Alec and me? Might I add gross?" Max rolled her eyes before turning her attention back to Alec who was heading back towards the table with Sketchy in tow. "I do kind of feel sorry for him though."

"Uh huh." Cindy smiled up at Alec patting the stool next to her. "Come sit next to Original Cindy, Suga' boo." 

With a contented smile he sat down with a last wave at the blonde. "You know, I don't particularly value brains in the girls I go after, but that one was just boring."

Sketchy laughed, "I couldn't even go after her, and my standards are much lower." 

The three women couldn't help but shudder at the thought of a woman too stupid for either of the men to be interested, especially when she had the looks that the blonde had possessed. "Boo, what do you think about that leggy brunette over by the bar, she looks strong." Cindy asked while giving Alec an innocent wide-eyed look. 

His face screwed up in thought before shrugging his shoulder. "She's Kind of—." The sentence dropped off abruptly as he caught something. "Strong?"

"I meant cute!" Jen and Max shared a look doing their best to not look anywhere at Alec. "She looks cute."

Jen mouthed the word 'smooth' when Alec had turned away to grab a beer. 'Real smooth.' The glare she received only proved to cause snickers from Max. 

"What's so funny?" Sketchy asked his brown eyes blank and curious. 

"We've been sniffin' things we probably shouldn't have?" Jen raised an eyebrow at him trying not to laugh. Her lips had pulled into a tight line from the effort. That's when her smile became evil. "So, Maxie, when was the last time _you_ had a good lay?" The only thing that kept Alec from getting beer everywhere was his quick reflexes.

Max's eyes became saucers as she turned an almost magenta pink. Her mouth flapped open while Original Cindy and Sketchy were assuming crash positions. Alec turned to Max with wide eyes, that were not only surprised but utterly curious. "Oh, look we need a refill, I'll go get it!" Max's voice was strangely controlled as she made a dash for the bar.

Alec turned on Jen, "Is that what you girls talk about when we leave? I've always wanted to know." 

"Yeah, Alec, we always talk about sex when you boos leave." Original Cindy looked like she might have to slap him.

Jen was smiling as she watched sparks dance in Alec's dark green eyes. "We only talk about it when we're either having really great sex or being deprived of it. I'm not telling you which it was that started the conversation."

"I'm guessing Max is pretty deprived at this point." 

"Shut up, Alec!" Max said through gritted teeth as she placed a new pitcher down. "My love life is not up for discussion right now."

"We weren't discussing your _love_ life…" He smiled for a full ten seconds before she shoved him off his stool. "Ow." Rubbing at his backside he picked himself off the floor and sat back down on the stool glaring at Max, who was too busy glaring at Jen to care. 

Jen just kept her head down and tried to look contrite without giggling. She was seriously starting to wonder if maybe she had had just a little too much to drink. Looking up at her companions she noticed that Original Cindy was starting to sway as was Sketchy, with a look of disgust she realized that the two X5s weren't even slightly tipsy despite that they had been here long before anyone else. Damn superhuman metabolism. 

Max had stopped glaring and was now storing blankly into her half-empty glass of beer. Try as she might she couldn't get the image of Alec out of her head, an image complete with bare chest. Unconsciously biting her lip again she kept seeing the hard muscles rippling under satin soft skin, before she realized what was happening she started wondering what it would be like to run her tongue over those well defined ridges of his abdomen. Shaking the picture out of her head she had to try not to look at Alec, who shooting her curious glances. Standing up she smiled at her friends weakly, "I should get goin' it was hard night. I wanna soak in a long bath." 

"Think you can give me a ride back to my place?" Alec asked doing his best impression of a sad puppy dog. 

She had to swallow hard before she could even answer, "yeah, whatever."

"Thanks," he grabbed his jacket slapping Sketchy's hand and nodding his head at the two women. "Catch ya later." With that he was hurrying to catch up with his ride, who was already half way to the door. 

Once outside the cool air caressed their skin, a reminder that winter was just settling in. Alec figured it would snow sometime in the next two weeks. Throwing a leg over the motorcycle he deposited himself behind Max gracefully. Slipping one arm around her waist to steady himself he felt her stomach muscles tighten under his soft touch, she felt like silk. 

Then they were roaring down the street at break-neck speeds, the wind tossing their hair everywhich way so that Alec had to bury his head almost in the crook of Max's neck so her ebony locks wouldn't keep smacking his face. He was smiling softly into her ear, enjoying being able to touch her. Though they were attempting to be friends they still only touched when they were either fighting or riding on Max's motorcycle. He had the strongest urge to rest his cheek against her neck, and found himself forcefully ignoring just how good she smelled. 


	3. Into the Deep

Disclaimer: None of the Character from Dark Angel belong to me, though I'm willing to pay a good amount of money to take Alec for a test ride.

Author's note: Thank you for the reviews. ::does the happy review dance:: You are so wonderful! Ok, you were right about Jen's name, how could I not pay tribute to such an amazing actor? Ok, I honestly don't know what color Alec's eyes are, cuz I've seen pictures where they looked green, and brown, and blue. So I'll take your word for it.

Remember I'm a review junkie. The more reviews I get the more I write.

Has Anyone Ever Written Anything for You?

Chapter 3: Into the deep

~*~

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I just wanted you to comfort me

When I called you late last night you see

I was falling into love

Yes I was crashing into love

Of all the words you said to me

About "Life," "the Truth," and "Being Free"

Yeah you sang to me, Oh how you sang to me

Girl I live for how you make me feel

So I question all this being real

Cause I'm not afraid of love

For the first time I'm not afraid to love

This day seems made for you and me

And you showed me what life needs to be

Yeah you sang to me, Oh you sang to me

All the while you were in front of me

I never realized I just can't believe, 

_~ Anthony Marc, "You sang to me"_

~*~

When he had finally let his hands fall from her waist, the loose of his warmth left her back feeling cold; she had the sudden urge to whimper. He shifted slowly from foot to foot as he looked down at her. Looking into his eyes for a brief moment she had the feeling that he was lost. "If you want, you could always come up and, I don't know, hang around for alittle while. I mean, only if you want to." He smiled at himself, looking for all the world like a little boy. 

"I'm kind of tired." Max looked down at her hands gripping the handles of her bike. "Maybe…maybe some other time." 

"Yeah, that sounds good. Bye." He waved before he turned to make his way to his apartment. He dragged his feet across the threshold, feeling very alone when he looked at the sparse furnishing. Shaking his head softly he closed the door and headed for the large stash of liquor. Kicking his shoes of while he poured a shot of bourbon he sighed loudly. Half way through nursing the glass there was a knock on the door. His head snapped around and his brows pulled together in confusion. "Hmm. " Padding quietly to the door he made a quick mental assessment of the weapons that he had at hand. Deciding that it wasn't going to be a problem he pulled the door open and froze in his tracks. 

Leaning against the doorframe was Max, looking small and hesitant. She watched him for a long moment before shrugging her shoulders self-consciously. "I ah…might have changed my mind about not hanging around for little while. If the offers still open, I'd like to."

"Yeah, it's still open." His voice rumbled softly as he stepped away from the door to let her in. Closing it behind her he was suddenly smiling; pleased. 

"I can smell bourbon, care to share?" She smiled winningly up at him.

"Didn't I get onto you earlier about not sharing with me? Doesn't seem very fair." 

"Oh get off it, Alec!" She laughed before motioning him to get her some. "Maybe you should just go ahead and bring the bottle. I'm thinking getting dunk is hard for us, but I'm willing to give it the good old college try." She plopped down onto the only piece of furniture in his living room, a dingy old green recliner.

"We didn't go to college." 

"No, we went to Manticore. That, right there, is a good enough reason to get rip roarin' drunk." She laughed again as he got the bottle and went ahead and brought down two more bottles of the amber liquid as well as two that looked like they held water. Max found herself wondering why he had so much alcohol on hand.

"I keep it around for when I can't stop thinking," he said quietly, reading her mind and not looking at her as he handed her two of the bottles.

"Oh." She threw back the bottle letting it burn a fiery trail down her throat to settle in her stomach. She watched as he sat down gracefully on the floor folding his legs underneath him, and rested his back against the armrest of the recliner. Closing her eyes she dropped her head back onto the headrest, dragging a breath in between her teeth. When she opened her eyes she idly contemplated the cracked off-white ceiling. "I keep wondering about Logan and Asha, like how could he not want her, she can touch him and I can't." Her voice low she sighed and was sliding her body off the recliner so that she was sitting next to Alec; an inch of air separating their shoulders her knees drawn up to her chest as she took liberal doses of bourbon.

"I keep wondering why you want to stay with him, for about the same reason. Other people can touch you when he can't." His pink lips pursed as he ran a hand through his hair. 

"I love him, I'm pretty sure."

"You're pretty sure? Has it ever occurred to you that if you and Logan were meant to be together fate would stop pushing you apart?" 

Max glared at him. "No, not at all. Thanks for rubbing it in." She downed the last of the bourbon holding back tears that no soldier would allow herself to cry. She forgot to remind herself that she wasn't a soldier.

"Don't get mad at me for this crap!"

"Hey, you're the reason we can't touch!"

"Yeah, well if you really loved him you wouldn't be saying you're 'pretty sure.' Trust me!" Biting her tongue she kept herself from spitting out the words 'How would you know?' Because she knew already. In a quiet voice that had lost its anger, "he's crazy if he thinks Asha can replace you."

"I don't think so." Suddenly she was pouting into her empty bottle finally feeling the effects of the drink. 

Reaching back Alec brought forward a bottle of foul smelling vodka and placed it infront of her. "You would."

"What do you mean by that?"

"Nothing." He dropped his head back against the armrest, his breathing harsh as he started his own bottle of vodka. 

Craning her neck to once again contemplate the many cracks in the ceiling she sniffled softly. "What can't you stop thinking about?" Her voice was just a whisper but she knew that Alec heard her. 

When no answer came she lifted her head; he was staring at the wall the bottle of vodka clutched in his left hand the right one was tracing circles on the knee of his pants. When she started desperately trying to find something, anything, to say to relieve the tension in the room he spoke. His voice was deep and thoughtful as he kept his eyes trained on some piece of the wall that had suddenly become fascinating. "Lots of stuff. Mostly how my life seems to be nothing but one really big punishment."

"Punishment for what?" Another shot of vodka went down before he answered. 

"I don't know. I lost Rachel…" His voice cracked softly when he said her name. "I lost her because I didn't fight. I didn't do anything." Another shot of vodka and Max knew he was trying to think of a way to explain himself. That's when Max realized they had finally started to get alittle more than tipsy. The two X5s had never really talked about Rachel, Alec preferred to deal with it on his own. "I keep remembering little things…like she had beautiful hands…they were so soft…and she smelled like honey." Max had started on her vodka, trying to choke back the emotions that his broken voice stirred. "I'll be standing there minding my own business when I'll…smell her. It's like she haunts me with her scent." He laughed at himself softly. "That sounds so stupid. I'm supposed to be smart and I'm talking about some…girl…haunting me by my sense of smell." 

Max had to swallow past the lumps in her throat. "It's not stupid. Sometimes, I'll wake up feeling Logan's hands on my face. It's what I miss the most." She laughed more of an exhaling of air but a laugh none the less. "Don't get me wrong, I miss the kissing. I miss kissing a lot, among…other things, but it's the human contact that I crave. I got so used to being able to touch his hand and I never realized how important that was." Looking down at her hands full of the bottle of vodka she ignored the searching look Alec was shooting her. "On nights when I wake up like that…I want to be held so badly it…hurts."

Finally looking up into his dark blue eyes she found it hard to breathe when he smiled slightly. "You can always call me, Maxie." Max couldn't tell whether he was joking or not. 

Deciding that the best course of action would be to take it as a joke she forced an answering smile. "Leave it to you to try and cop a feel when we're having a heart to heart."

Holding his hands up in mock defense he laughed, "we just established that the heart isn't the only thing that needs to be touched." She lightly backhanded his arm, holding back laughter. "See you're so desperate you resort to beating me up just so you can touch me."

"You just never stop, do you?"

"When you stop, you have to start thinking. One of the reasons I have the liquor is that when I'm here I have to stop." Hitting his head softly on the armrest over and over Max once again got the over-whelming feeling that he was lost. Suddenly her hand shot out and cupped the back of his head before he could hit it a sixth time. He turned to look at her with wide eyes her hand slipping from the back of his head to rest against his cheek for a long moment, the feel of his skin sending a shock wave through her, before she let it fall to her lap. 

"You don't deserve to be punished. I never understood why Zack thought we should go, not until I was out. You didn't know, you couldn't have known anything else but Manticore." She smiled shakily as she watched his eyes trace the curves of her hands where they rested around the neck of her bottle. "I'm still trying to figure it out, you've only been out for a few months, I've been out for years."

"Ever feel like if you close your eyes for ten seconds you'll wake up back at Manticore?" He asked while absently picking at the carpet.

"Sometimes I have nightmares that I'm back there."

"So do I." He stopped moving; every muscle in his body froze, his eyes stared off into space not even seeing the wall anymore. He looked like he was seeing ghosts and Max figured he probably was. "I'll have nightmares where I'm in Psy Obs, or when they put me in solitaire, or…" His voice dropped off and he coughed softly into his hand. "I miss Manticore sometimes…" he held up a hand to stop Max from saying anything before he went on. "I miss not having to think. I mean, it was easier to not have to care, I did care but not all the time. I miss it for a second only, and then I remember everything we had to do, or someone will smile at me and wave and I hate myself for missing it." He took in a shaky breath, feeling it rattle softly in his chest. 

Max didn't know what to say so she didn't say anything. She just watched him; watched his Adam's apple bob as he swallowed, watched as his tongue darted out to wet his lips. She had been there, missing the discipline and then hating herself for it. She remembered the words Alec had thrown at her, 'You can't understand, you weren't there. You ran…You and your little rugrat brothers and sisters. You think life was rough when we were ten? A little schooling, little brainwashing, some maneuvers outside; you think that was tough? Take it from me later on it got a whole lot worse.' She suddenly knew it was true. She didn't even know how hard things got after the escape. 

"I wonder if the people in Psy Obs knew what they were talking about."

Her eyes narrowed slightly, "what do you mean?"

"Maybe I am just as crazy as my brother."

"No," that was all Max said but when he looked into her brown eyes, so dark they were almost black, he believed her.


	4. Just another day

Disclaimer: The characters from Dark Angel are MINE!!! Oh wait, they're not. Damn, I was so hopeful for a minute there.

Authors note: Ok. So not my best work, this chapter, I'm developing a bruise on my forehead from hitting the computer screen going "think, think, think." What can I say, we all have our bad days? Please stay with me, the next chapter promises it'll behave better. Thank you for your reviews, they make me giddy!

Review junkie, come on baby give me a fix. ::shakes spastically::

Has Anyone Ever Written Anything for You?

Chapter 4: Just Another Day

~*~

__
    
    When you look at me you see my purpose,
    you see my pride,
    you think I just saddle up my anger
    and ride.
    You think I stand so firm.
    You think I sit so high on my trusty steed,
    but let me tell you
    I'm usually face down on the ground,
    and there's a stampede.
    Ah ahh ah ahh
    Yeah, I'm no heroine
    at least not last time I checked.
    I'm too easy to roll over.
    I'm too easy to wreck.
    I just write about what I should have done.
    I sing what I wish I could say.
    I hope somewhere some woman hears my music,
    and it helps her through her day.

_~ Ani DiFranco, "I'm no Heroine"_

~*~

Jen was tapping idly at Logan's computer, who was in the kitchen fixing food for Jen, Asha, and himself. When she had walked in that morning, shouldering her backpack and chomping on a breakfast bar, she had raised her eyebrow at the presence of her superior at eight in the morning in rumpled clothes, but refrained from saying anything. Figuring that it wasn't any of her business she ignored Logan's stammered explanation while Asha went several shades paler than normal. Jen had looked at them with cool eyes and spoke in a calm voice, "More work, less…whatever."

Logan came into the room placing a chicken sandwich down next to the keyboard then turned and gave Asha one of her own before sitting down next to her. They talked in hushed tones about the next mission they were planning on sending the S1W. They shot quick glances at Jen every couple of minutes. That's when it happened.

"Oh my God..." Jen said in a whisper. Letters and numbers clicked in Jen's head, exactly what happened every time she cracked a code and caused people look at her out of the corner of their eye. Her eyes lit up with knowledge that snapped into place like someone suddenly turned on a floodlight. "Oh my God." Her typing sped up so that Logan was having trouble following it with his eyes. She was staring at the screen, as her hands seemed to work without her knowledge. She sat up straight as her fingers sped up one last time before stopping all together. Logan stood up to look over her shoulder. "Oh…my…God! That's it!"

"What is? What is it?" Asha was trying to see, a jumble of letters and numbers was all that she got for the effort.

"What do you see?" Logan's voice was low and intense as he tried to decipher what seemed like plain English to Jen. 

"Manticore stashed their findings. They didn't exactly leave a paper trail, but it's enough like one that Alec would be shaking his head in disgust right now."

"Findings?" Logan placed a hand on her shoulder torn between hitting her for mentioning the X5 and restraining himself from picking up the phone to call Max immediately.

"Research. In the event that the main Manticore building had to be shut down, like it did, they stashed their research findings. Everything that was considered top priority is there."

"So they could start gene splicing again." Asha said, her voice cold.

"Or they have ways to create viruses. And maybe even ways to create an _anti_-virus." Jen had turned her cat green eyes on Logan, who was staring slack jawed at the screen.

"We could steal their whole mainframe."

"And then burn that bitch to the ground." Jen was smiling to herself her eyes glued to the computer screen.

"Do you think we should tell Max?" Asha asked suddenly her arms folded stiffly over her chest and her lips pulled into a harsh line.

"Of course we should tell Max!" Jen was yelling her mouth hanging open as she looked from Asha to Logan.

"If it isn't there, it'll just be one more disappointment, and I don't want to put her through that again." Logan held up a hand to fend her off before going on. "We tell her about the place, leave out the cure part, and if it's in the files then we tell her. No one gets hurt."

"Sounds solid, in theory." Jen agreed reluctantly. "When should we send them?"

"'Them?'" Logan's eyes slitted shut.

"You want Max to do this alone? This isn't going to be an easy run. She's going to have to be out of town for a few days. This isn't a jump on her cycle be there in twenty minutes, sort of thing. She's gonna have to actually make a trip, and then once she's there she has to case the place. Deal with guards, who are Manticore trained, then download the whole mainframe, which will take half an hour, at the least, depending on what system their using. Then she has to blow the bitch up and get out without dying. Preferably." Jen was trying to keep her voice down as she watched Logan's eyes close off. "Now the best one for the job is that lovable X5 rouge, Alec. Wouldn't you say?" Jen didn't know why but she was angry, right that minute she would love to slap Logan in the face, just to hear the crack.

"It would probably be the safest bet." Asha was saying softly as Logan nodded his head.

"I'll call her, see when she can start this." His breath was harsh as he reached for the phone. 

Jen had turned to Asha smiling mischievously, "you want to call Alec? You got his number, right?"

"Uh, why don't we let Max get a hold of him?"

"Ri-ight."

Alec's eyes snapped open, going from sleep to waking in a second, bypassing the normal human's need to wake slowly and stretch into awareness. He lay on his back sprawled out on his carpet, hands pillowing his head and didn't need to orient himself. Sitting up, his eyebrows pulled together to furrow his brow, and searched for the source of the beeping noise. 

He found it easily, the pile of clothes and hair next to him that was Max. She lay in a classic cat curl one hand outstretched towards him as though she was reaching for something in her sleep. He considered grabbing the pager and turning it off without waking her, it sat nestled on the top of her pants resting against the smooth skin of her stomach. When he reached for it and his hand started inexplicably shaking he decided against it and settled for shaking her awake. 

His breath caught in his throat when her eyes fluttered slowly as she smiled sweetly up at him and stretched languidly. Then she realized something was off, waking up to the sight of Alec though pleasant wasn't normal and she bolted into a sitting position. "You're beeper." He said simply. 

"Oh." Reaching for it she read the numbers quickly before turning to him. "Logan. Can I use your phone?"

"In my jacket." He nodded his head toward the leather coat hanging limply from the doorway. 

"I can't believe I fell asleep," she said softly as she groggily dialed the number. "What's the word? Did you crack the code…so big?" Alec lifted his eyebrows in surprise when Max's mouth fell open. "That was dumb of them. Or really smart, I'm not too sure which yet…yeah, I can get a hold of Alec. No guarantees. I'll come by after work tonight, we can head out tomorrow." She hung up the cell phone and looked at it thoughtfully for a long moment before she turned to Alec.

"What's the what?" He asked smiling.

"Good old Jen figured out what those letters and numbers meant."

"As usual. I never doubted her for a second." He smirked.

"Well, it's directions to a Manticore facility, holding research findings." 

Alec shook his head sadly. "Disgusting, leaving a trail for us trained soldier types to follow."

"'Us?' You're coming to help me?" Max raised one eyebrow letting a half smile play on her lips.

"I don't see why you should get to have all the fun." He crossed his arms and leaned back against the recliner indolently.

She smiled before her face fell and her eyes got slightly wider, "O.C's gonna kill me. She hates it when I don't call in to tell her I'm not coming home."

"What, she's your babysitter?"

"I disappeared for three months, she worries that I might again." She rolled her eyes at him before stretching. "I should get going." She started for the door before his voice caused her to turn around.

"Max…thanks…for listening last night." 

She could tell it was hard for him so she smiled softly nodding her head. "Yeah, you too."

He let his face drop into his hands once he had heard the soft click of the door closing behind her. He sat there for what seemed like forever before he finally stood up and headed for the shower. He had to go to work in less than an hour and didn't want to be late. 

Swaggering into JamPony, like he usually did, he nodded in the directions of hello's and was shoving a backpack into his locker when Original Cindy came up and waved a finger infront of his face menacingly, "You plain' my girl?"

"What?" Alec couldn't help the expression of complete disbelief that covered his face as he stared down at the woman.

"She didn't come home last night. I'm thinking she spent the night at your place. You better not be playin' her cause transgenic or not I'll lay the hurt down on you!"

"Yes, she spent the night, but as much as I would like to say that she succumbed to my masculine charms, nothing happened." 

Normal's voice broke through leaving Alec smiling happily, "Look who's late again!"

"Max!" Alec called waving a hand. When She was standing infront of them he smirked, "Tell Original Cindy that I'm not playin' you."

Max turned on Cindy with a scowl, "I already told you what happened last night. And once again 'gross!'" Throwing her bag into her locker she scowled at Normal. "Apparently I gotta run."

"I'm just lookin' out for you!" Cindy called after her, a wave was Max's only response.

"Why are you so worried about me?" Cindy just glared at him with slit brown eyes before making her way over to the front desk. Shaking his head in confusion he smiled at Sketch before going over to see his friend.


	5. Promise?

Disclaimer: Dark Angel characters aren't mine. There was some confusion in that area I'm sure.

Author's note: You guys are awesome! I've been called quirky!!!!! My day has been made. I was so touched. Thank you. ::sniffle, sniffle:: alright guys, you're cool but I'm late to class.

Has anyone ever written anything for You?

Chapter 5: Promise?

~*~

__

A decade ago, 

I never thought I would be,  
at twenty-three,

on the verge of spontaneous combustion.  
Woe-is-me.  
But I guess that it comes 

with the territory;  
an ominous landscape of never ending calamity.  
I need you to hear, 

I need you to see 

that I have had all I can take and  
exploding seems like a definite possibility…to me.  
So pardon me while I burst into flames.  
I've had enough of the world 

and it's people's mindless games.  
So pardon me while I burn and rise above the flame.  
Pardon me, pardon me...

I'll never be the same.  
~ Incubus, "Pardon Me"

~*~

Max smiled at Jen when she let herself into Logan's penthouse apartment, enjoying the feel of heat finally after a day of riding in the cold. "Tell me you have food somewhere around here?" She called into the apartment as she perched on the armrest of the couch.

"What do you want?" Was the answering shout from the kitchen.

"Hi, Max." Jen said at the same time.

"I want something hot!" Turning to Jen she sighed a 'hello.'

Logan walked into the living room quietly balancing a plate, with a sandwich, and a cup of tea in his hands. Putting them on the end table carefully he backed away, knowing Max wouldn't reach for the food until he was a safe distance away. "Did Alec agree to come?"

"Of course I did." An amused voice floated over Logan's shoulder. Turning around, forcing a welcome smile on his face, he motioned for the X5 to come over to the couch. Perching on the other armrest Alec unconsciously mirrored Max, one leg resting on the floor the other swinging back and forth in the air. "So where are we going exactly?"

"Minnesota…" Logan began.

Alec cut him off. "Minnesota? Damn, remind me to pack warm." He said to Jen.

"Pack warm." She said with a smile.

"I would never have remembered without you." He said with a pained smile.

"I do what I can."

"Can we possible pay attention to the subject, for once?" Logan sighed gaining three wide-eyed stares. "It's not going to be an easy trip, it'll probably take you a week."

"So should you call Normal and tell him we've eloped and are going on a honeymoon, or should I?" Alec asked smirking at Max who looked like she was going to throw her sandwich at him. "Right, I'll do it."

"I've arranged for passes that will get you all the way there, that won't be a problem, once you're there though you're on your own. The lay out of the building seems pretty simple I got the blue prints for you so that you could have it there with you."

"We're stressing on copying the whole main frame." Jen spoke up quietly looking at the two transgenics seriously. "We need that information. I assume you both know how that all works, especially you Alec."

"Shouldn't be too hard." He stretched feeling completely at ease with his abilities. Some looking at him would think he was cocky, he was but he had good reason to be. 

"All right. Let's get this over with." Max said as she stood gracefully. Alec and Jen stood up together following her. 

Logan hadn't turned around when Jen caught Alec's shoulder and made stopping motions with her hands. 'Hold on,' she mouthed, 'Be careful.' At the same time that Logan turned and said, "Be careful." She glowed at the laughing Alec.

Max turned around her large brown eyes boring into Logan's blue ones the long look the only good-bye she would allow herself before she started again for the door. She followed Jen and Alec out the door not paying attention to their conversation until Jen yelped, "I'm not a meddler!" 

"Oh, really?" A raised eyebrow spoke volumes of his disbelief.

"Ok, so I meddle a little…" she held her fingers half an inch apart, "a tinny tiny bit. It's for everybody's well being. If everyone wasn't so dense, I wouldn't have to stick my nose in where it doesn't belong."

"What did you do now?" Max asked coming up to walk beside them.

"Nothing!"

"Nothing? Ri-ight, she's trying to start a fight between Logan and Asha."

"Am not!" She turned wide eyes on Max pleading her innocence.

"It's not like I'm going to complain if they fight." Max tried not to laugh.

"I'm not trying to get them to fight, I'm trying to get them to see the error of their ways." Jen rolled her eyes when Alec let out a bark of laughter. "Shut up, you have packing to go do! Remember; pack for warm weather." She called as she disappeared into her car.

"Do you ever wonder if she has plans for us all?" Alec asked idly.

"Most of the time." Max nodded her head toward her motorcycle. "Come on, I'll give you a ride to your place so you can pack for warm weather."

"It's a conspiracy."

"Yeah, we all want you to freeze your ass off." Max sat easily on her cycle and waited for him to slide behind her before she roared through the darkening streets. 

~ — ~

After throwing a couple changes of clothes in his backpack Alec was once again sitting behind Max as they made their way to her apartment. Finally Max threw some clothes into his bag so they didn't have too much to carry, gave Original Cindy the heads up that they wouldn't be back for at least a week and then they were on their way. Cindy's parting words of, "you better take care of my girl," ringing in their ears. 

After an hour of keeping his head up Alec gave up and dropped his forehead to rest on Max's shoulder. Breathing in deeply she assaulted his senses with the smell of leather, skin, and _lilac_ of all things. With a silent smile he realized she even smelled like she could kick someone's ass and look sexy while doing it. He unconsciously nuzzled the crook of her neck, his lips brushing the tender skin softly. She sighed and relaxed into his arms without thinking, paying more attention to the road than her reaction to him. 

By two in the morning they had switched positions, Alec driving and Max resting her cheek against his back while her arms circled his waist. He was trying to breathe the cold crisp air deeply, clearing his head of the fact that the feeling of having Max's arms around him was leaving him light headed. With a weary eye he got more alert as he saw the signs of snow on the ground. It was with a sigh of relief when he pulled over next to a motel, ten miles away from their destination, that Max had pointed at silently. They had agreed that it would be best to sleep during the day before they went to case the facility that night.

They especially needed sleep since they would be walking the rest of the way through woods and snow. The problem that rose almost immediately was that the only room in the motel up for rent had only one bed. Staring at the woman smacking her gum loudly behind the counter, Max started to shake her head 'no' when Alec spoke up. "That will be perfect." He smiled disarmingly as he slipped the money for the room across the counter. Max wanted to gag as she watched the woman practically melt under his heavy gaze. 

Letting her body sink onto the bed she glared up at Alec who was dropping their shared backpack on the ground. "Do you have no shame?"

"That wouldn't be any fun, now would it?" He smiled insolently down at her before sinking into the bed next to her.

"You're sleeping on the floor,' she said suddenly.

"I most certainly am not!" He kicked his shoes off and laid down to prove his point.

"We aren't sleeping in the same bed!"

"Why not? Are you afraid you're going to loose control and ravish me?" He laughed lifting his head up just enough to look at her. "I have no energy to assault you today, Max, maybe you'll have reason to be worried tomorrow but not right now.

"Fine." She gave up getting off the bed and going through the backpack to find the oversized T-shirt she had thrown in for something to sleep in. Shooting him a glare she went into the bathroom to change, when she came out he was just in his boxers and was getting comfortable beneath the bed covers. She found it hard to swallow suddenly as the sight of Alec's smooth dark chest once again assaulted her. From somewhere the line "rippling pectorals" had surfaced and was floating through her head as she watched him shift slowly while he seemed to be looking at anything but her. With faltering steps she made her way to the bed and slid under the covers trying as hard as she could not to sneak a peek at the well-defined muscles of Alec's legs. 

Once her head had hit the pillow she didn't care anymore because sleep seemed suddenly more important. Within minutes both she and Alec had drifted off into the land of dreams. Some time during the day they both cried out in their nightmares; one of a dying brother talking in low tones of 'the good place', the other of the horrors of trying to fight his superiors. Their hands seemed the find each other, seeking any comfort that could be had, a lifeline to the land of the living. And they held fast so that when they woke they were still clutching at the others hand.


	6. Lashing out

Disclaimer: Dark Angel characters are not mine. Dagnabit why do you have to keep rubbing it in my face that I will never have a chance with that sweet dream boat that goes by the name Alec. Don't have a chance at Jensen either. ::sigh::

Author's note: Your reviews make me tingle all over. Yay! Who says us college girls can't have any fun without alcohol…wait, that was my room mate. Hmm. Anyways, I was informed that you can't make the tip from Seattle to Minnesota in a day and I know and I made the mistake with the intention of fixing it later but it slipped my mind. Oops.

Review junkie begging for her fix! 

Has Anyone Ever Written Anything for You?

Chapter 6: Lashing out

~*~

__
    
    So I learn from my mistakes
    It's beyond my control sometimes it's best to let go,
    whatever happens in this lifetime
    So I trust in love ( So I trust in love )
    And it's giving me peace of mind
    I, I feel so alive
    For the very first time
    I can't deny you
    I feel so alive
    I, I feel so alive
    For the very first time
    And I think I can fly
    Sunshine upon my face
    A new song for me to sing
    Tell the world how I feel inside
    Even though it might cost me everything
    Now that I know this will be all my control
    'cause I could never turn my back away
    Now that I see you
    I can never look away.
    ~ P.O.D, "I feel so alive"

~*~

Alec's eyes snapped open the instant of waking his gaze traveling up his arm to the tow intertwined hands up Max's arm and into her wide open eyes. She looked surprised and tense like she hadn't expected him to be awake. The first glimpse of his storm blue eyes was a shock on her systems even more so because of the unfogged awareness in them. They slid their hands out of the handhold the air in the room suddenly becoming tense. 

Max sat up quickly making her way into the bathroom mumbling about needing a shower. Alec groaned when the door closed, thinking silently to himself that waking up next to Max was enough to make any man need a cold shower. With another groan he flipped onto his stomach and concluded that he was no exception. Getting up slowly, letting the muscles in his back stretch as he contemplated the world from a sitting position. He sat there listening to the drone of the shower, and found himself wondering if the shower she was taking was just as cold as his was going to have to be. 

Mumbling words that not even he could decipher he forced himself to stand up and pad over to the forlorn looking backpack lying on the tan shaggy carpet. Grabbing a black sweater and the black jeans he had been wearing the night before he sat back down on the bed and waited for his turn, letting his mind wander without check. 

By the time Max had exited the bathroom freshly dressed and her hair in wet ringlets he decided that he was in desperate need of that cold shower. She didn't look at him as he brushed past her and when he came out feeling like he could finally look at her without blushing she still wasn't looking at him. 

"We should get something to eat before we go," he said softly not sure if his voice was welcome.

"Yeah." She bit off grabbing her jacket and heading out the door without a look back.

"'Yeah.'" He mocked silently letting his face screw up as he shrugged into his leather coat and followed her to the diner that sat next to the motel. She didn't look at him when they ordered and hadn't said a word to him when the food had come out. He was starting to get antsy and was fidgeting in his seat. 

"Would you stop that?" She glared at him.

"And the ice queen speaks. Yes, I can stop it but I don't particularly want to."

"Of course not."

"What is your problem?" He asked raising one eyebrow at her.

"Nothing." Her clenched her jaw as he met her glare.

"Ya sure?"

"I'm sure." She rolled her eyes down into her pancakes and finished eating in silence.

When they finally set out for the facility Alec had sighed and followed Max as she walked through the trees at a leisurely pace, they weren't doing anything more than watch until tomorrow so now they had the whole night. Snow lay on the ground in a thick sheet; the crunching of their boots was the only sound as they moved. Alec's eyes darted through the trees keeping watch for anything that was out of place, for a long time they rested on a large lake that had frozen over, they had been walking along it for a while. Hills, high enough to make the way treacherous in the snow, made the trees into waves. 

Their breath came out in thick blankets of steam as it connected with the cold mountain air. Alec sighed and stuffed his hands deeper into his pockets, he could withstand a lot of cold but that didn't mean he liked it. When she heard his sigh Max once again shot him a glare. After an hour and a half of walking it was starting to get on his nerves. He was about to open his mouth to say something when she grabbed his arm. 

There, looming in the night, was the first building that they had seen in an hour. It sat, like a warning, breaking up the silent forest with its black and gray walls and lights. Both X5s crouched down and moved across the ground flowing with the night like shadows. When they were close enough to see the whole front of the building they stopped using trees for cover. "Three guards at the front entrance, high-powered rifles one with a tazer," Alec said in a hushed whisper. 

"Two on the roof, same weapons." Max answered back. "That makes at least five, make that six." She hissed as another man came into view on the roof carrying what looked like coffee. 

"Coffee break," Alec quipped with a silent smirk. Max just looked at him before turning away.

"We need to get around to the back to see if there's a better way in." 

"Let's move." Alec was up and moving before he had finished talking, letting Max fall in behind him for once. Moving into the shadows once again they made their way to the back eyes searching for any chinks in the defense. "To by the door, none on the roof." They shared a look each nodding their heads in agreement. "We take them out and move in before the men on the rood can tell the men in the front what's going on." 

"Avoid as much contact as possible," Max agreed quietly, they sat there for two hours watching how often the men talked in their radios and how often the men on the roof came around to check out the back entrance. By the time they decided they had seen enough they were both stiff and cold, limbs protesting at their abuse.

"Let's get out of here," Max said her voice tense and weary at the same time.

"Yeah, right behind ya." They half crouched half ran for a few minutes making sure that they weren't seen. Alec opened his mouth to say something to Max but shut it when he saw the tight set of her jaw. Breathing deeply, he shook his head and fell into step beside her, holding back a scowl.

After another hour of silence he decided he had had enough, stopping in his tracks, at the top of one of many large hills, he glared at her back until she stopped and turned around. "What are you doing?" she snapped.

"I want to know what your problem is, you've barely said a word to me all day and I'm not really understanding why. Explain it to me." He was struggling with himself to keep his voice down and quiet.

"No reason."

"There's a reason and I'm not moving another step until you tell." Every word brought his voice up a notch.

So matching him glare for glare she matched his voice as well, "I woke up in the wrong bed!"

"What?" His mouth hung open as his brain did it's bet to wrap around her words.

"Exactly what I said, I'm not supposed to wake up next to you and I have for two days in a row now." Her fists were clenched tight as she watched him.

"That's not what you're mad about. You're mad because in your sleep you reached for me, and you think you should only reach for Logan, but you can't!" Alec mirrored her stance; fists clenched and body tensing.

"I can't because of you!"

"Throw that in my face again, can't come up with anything new now, Maxie?" He was advancing on her his face a stony mask, his eyes having gone hard. Before he turned his back on her, his breathing hard.

"I should have let your head explode."

"Get over it!" Alec yelled, turning on her, his voice echoing like a ghosts call through the trees.

"Get over it? You keep shoving this crap in my face, and then you expect me to get over it?" Her face was slowly turning red as his jaw got tighter. They both looked like they were going to either break or explode.

"Fine! Let's do this the right way; hit me. Words are just words, Max, you think I should have died. Punch me it'll hurt more!" He was advancing on her again and she was standing her ground fist clenching and unclenching. "Hit me!"

So she did.

She lashed out, her arm moving through the air like streamlined silk before it stopped with a bone jarring impact at Alec's nose. He didn't miss a beat absorbing the blow and letting it whip his body around so that he could fall into a crouch his leg coming out to sweep hers out from under her. She jumped it and came down into his waiting fist. It knocked the air out of her and threw her back two steps, not losing a second he was on her with a front kick sending her straight into a tree. When her head hit the tree with a resounding **thwack** she realized neither of them were going to pull their punches.

His next punch was coming at her, she dodged and it connected with the tree; bringing her arm up and around she unlocked his elbow and used her other arm to help his face follow his fist. Turning on his heel he brought his elbow up snapping her head back.

She went for a straight kick, making snow fly everywhere, he caught it in two strong hands and wrenched it towards him but the snow made her boot slick so that she could turn the fall into an awkward flip with her foot connecting with his chin.

They broke apart breathing heavily watching each other with wary eyes. Max was moving with the precision of a panther while Alec was calling; "don't you think I know?" She grabbed his shirt, twisted her body so her back lay flat against his stomach and pulled, flipping him over her shoulder. Had he been anything but an X5 he would have fallen flat on his back, but he was, so his feet smacked down first and using his momentum turned her own move against her, flipping her over onto her back. He fell on top of her and wrestled for who would be on top, rolling in the snow causing it to lodge in her hair, a perfect contrast of black and white. 

"Don't you think I know," he was saying snow splotching his face, melting on his cheeks, "I'm a screw up?" His voice broke as they rolled again, snow working it's cold fingers into her shirt; cooling her back as it cooled her anger enough that she heard his words. "I ruin everything I touch! Yes, you should have let my head explode."

She stopped and it seemed like forever before he realized he didn't need to fight anymore. His body pushed hers into the ground as he held her wrists above her head. "I know I'm a disappointment!" He was breathing heavily and his voice shook. It occurred to her to wonder if it was snow that splotched his cheeks with water. "I know I'm worthless." He whispered as he saw her face soften as she looked up at him with wide shining brown eyes.

"Alec," She started in a broken voice as he made to get off her and then gravity shifted.

They were sliding, twisting; tumbling down the hill that suddenly felt like a mountain. Snow was flying as they narrowly missed trees that became like black giants. Max heard a dull thud and lost her hold on Alec's hand. Then the ground ended and she was sliding to a stop.

Max groaned as she flipped onto her stomach and found herself staring down at ice under her hands. Hours of sitting in the cold were finally catching up to her as she raised to her knees and looked for Alec. He lay, unmoving, what seemed like a mile away, on his back blood dripping on to the ice under his head, a perfect contrast of white and red. When she first caught sight of him she thought he was unconscious until she saw his blue eyes, gone wide, watching her. Her own shifted down and that's when she saw them.

The cracks snaking out from his body, something sounding too much like breaking glass drifted to her ears. Two pairs of eyes locked together in a moment of understanding. "Can you move?" Max whispered, afraid that her voice might excellerate the rapid spreading of the cracks. "I can't come and help you." She felt defeated when she saw him swallow roughly.

"Yeah," he sounded more confident than he looked. "Just can't move very fast cause—" He let the words trail off, they both knew why. He started turning over slowly with halting movements, his mouth moving and no sound coming out. When Max strained to hear him she realized that wasn't true, he was chanting in a breathy whisper. Talking himself through the steps. He placed his hands down, spider webs shooting out from underneath them; he raised to his knees not looking at the lake anymore but at Max. His jaw clenched tight as he raised his torso slowly, inch by treacherous inch; letting his weight settle on his knees. Sliding one foot out he was kneeing, as though he was about to ask for Max's hand in marriage, when with a crack, which seemed to split the air; the ice swallowed him whole. His hands thrown in the air, his wide eyes meeting with Max's for a split second and then he was gone.

Max was moving, walking with jerking steps, across the ice, wishing she could run but knowing all it would accomplish was two drowned X5s. Keeping her eyes on the hole in the lake she waited for Alec to resurface. Hoping he would. 

When he broke through the surface his face had become stone, she could tell that he had gone into soldier mode. His breathing not even rushed; he cut the water with sure strong strokes. The second problem arose when he made to pull himself out of the water; the ice gave way under his hands plunging him once again into the cold blue depths. It took longer this time for him to come up, and once again he tried to pull himself out, the ice held long enough for him to get his torso up onto it before it gave way again. 

Max was crawling to him now, not trusting the ice to hold all her weight, slithering like a snake she came out as far as she dared hoping that once again he would come back up. It seemed like hours before the wet head of hair came up again. Soldier mode was still in place as he again hoisted himself onto the ice with the assistance of Max's hands, but she could see that his skin was starting to be tinged a soft baby blue.

Scuttling back across the ice Alec half crawled and was half dragged back to solid ground. When they got to safety he was shaking too hard to stand, he collapsed to his knees the cold and his head injury catching up to him. Max caught him and turned him over to cradle him in her arms. Looking down into his wide blue eyes, as he dragged in air through his purple lips, she had the sudden over whelming thought that this has happened before. 

Staring down into the face of Alec the woods was no longer covered in snow, the face looking up at her was not shaking or cold, the face looking up at her wasn't Alec. She was choking back tears as she ran her hands over his cheek. "I'm so sorry." She didn't know who she was talking to anymore; Alec or Ben or both. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean it." She hugged him closer feeling the traitorous swell of tears in her eyes. "Please don't die. I'm sorry, I don't want you to die." 

"Max…" Alec managed through chattering teeth, one hand coming up to touch her cheek, leaving the feel of ice touching her cheek, bringing her back to the present.

"We go to get you warm." Max squared her jaw as she lifted him by the shoulders. "Come on, you can do this. You have to help me." She repeated softly over and over as she guided his faltering steps. Quickly calculating she figured forty-five minutes back to the hotel, and found herself praying for a miracle.


	7. Can you feel me yet?

Disclaimer: I want Alec, I want him but I don't own him, or any other character on the show for that matter. Depressed now.

Author's note: I need alittle help. I'm trying to decide whether or not I should make this into an NC-17 sort of thing. I believe I'm capable but I don't know if that's the way to go. Let me know what you think. I'm not really as happy with this chapter as I had hoped because I've written it twice now, the computer froze and lost all my work, everyone knows when you try to write from memory it's never as good so be kind. Rewind.

I'm a review Junkie! If you review I write faster! Just remember that.

Has Anyone Ever Written Anything for You?

Chapter 6: Can you feel me yet?

~*~

__

I must be afraid

but I'm drawn to the dark

I don't know exactly

where the gravity starts

somewhere behind 

the black of your eyes my will dies.

I need you to want me

I need all you can spare

slip in beside me 

and follow me there

somewhere beneath

all my layers of skin

you creep in.

Don't make me ask

but don't let me go

if you're afraid of this thing

don't let it show

if you die loving me

you'll slide so easily

underneath my skin.

~ Dee Carstensen, "Underneath my skin"

~*~

Kicking the door open to their motel room, Max dragged Alec's senseless body to the bed. She put him down as softly as possible, stumbling over his legs. She stood up looking down at him, her eyes narrowed as she tried to remember what came next_. Hypothermia, what do you do for hypothermia?_ She was shaking her head and when she remembered she wanted to smack herself across the face. _You cuddle._

She reached for Alec's shoes pulling them off with quiet efficiency, before tugging off his socks. She rubbed his feet in her hands, letting the friction spark the beginnings of heat. She cupped them in her hands and let her breathe caress his toes before moving on. Her hands hesitated on the button of his pants and she found them shaking without reason. Closing her eyes and straightening her back she unfastened his pants and peeled them off his body. She ran her hands up and down his legs, forcing her mind to focus on the soft blue of his skin and nothing else. When she decided that was enough she moved to his black sweater, her mind refusing to listen to her and remembered the last time she had seen them. That morning as he had laid down in bed, rippling pectorals floating through her head.

Cursing under her breath she yanked the sweater over his head causing a groan to escape his lips. She jumped and watched for any other sign of consciousness. When his eyelids didn't flutter and no other sound came out of his mouth she let her body relax. With shaking fingers she shrugged out of her own clothes, stiff with cold and dirt, shoes, socks, pants, shirt she refused to think just go through the familiar actions.

Crawling onto the bed next to Alec she grabbed a shoulder and pulled him to her and spooned his body against hers, ignoring the feel of his cold skin against her own she grabbed the covers she pulled them up over their shoulders. Running her hands over his arms she watched his profile eagerly awaiting any sign that he was waking. "You aren't worthless," she whispered into his ear, knowing he couldn't hear her, but hoping on some level he could. "I keep looking at you and seeing Ben, and wondering if I could have done…something more." She brushed a stray hair away from his forehead, her hand slightly unsteady. "Then I look at you and I see you and I'm so mad at myself for not seeing him. It's like…if I look at you without thinking about him I'm betraying him." She laughed, her voice shaking like her hands. "It's so stupid, I want to hate you and I can't." Tears were swelling in her eyes and she was afraid that if she didn't breath soon she would pass out. She looked at his profile searching for something; she didn't know what. "Why can't I hate you?" The tears were flowing down her cheeks to pool in the hollow of his throat. Kissing his shoulder, relishing the feel of cold silky skin, she tried to breathe. 

"I'm sorry," she choked out burying her face into his back wrapping her arms tightly around his waist. Exhausted with emotion she floated in and out of sleep, held suspended in the world between sleeping and waking. Where dreams could be controlled but only a little, and they seemed more real for it. Dreams of Ben and Alec flitted through her head, causing her brow to furrow in sorrow and the corners of her lips to tip down, before fading away and being forgotten. 

Her body tensed and she swam into consciousness, gasping for the first breath of fresh air to fill her starving lungs. Something around her had changed something that she couldn't put her finger on. Absently running her hands up Alec's arms she lifter her head and looked right into his eyes. He was watching her as though her next move would determine life or death; his life or death. She rubbed his arms harder before pulling him even tighter into her body. For a long time she couldn't meet his eyes, preferring to bury her face into the rapidly warming crook of his neck. She breathed in, the water having washed away everything but the natural scent of his skin. It seemed strange not to smell leather interweaving with the musk of man. 

He shivered, the first that had wracked his body in the last half-hour, causing her to once again look up at him. He was still watching he with the same intensity, some spark lighting the depths of his eyes. Suddenly they looked like the waters of the iced over lake, and just as dangerous. "I was wrong," he said suddenly, his voice uncertain and rough.

"About what?" Her brows pulled together in confusion.

"The words hurt worse." He shivered again as she tried to bring him even closer than he already was, as though she could crawl under his skin and hold that piece of broken spirit that needed it even more than his body.

"I'm sorry," she said quietly, whispering the words into the still motel room. Her hands trailed designs over his arms and across his chest as her breath warmed his ear. "I didn't…" She had to swallow past the lump that had formed in the back of her throat, "I didn't mean it."

Slowly he turned in her arms so that they lay facing each other her arms lying across his narrow hip. Crushing her to his chest he tucked her head under his chin, his hands lying flat on the small of her back. Rubbing her thumb across the still cold skin of his back, once again having to force herself to forget the fact that the only thing separating smooth skin was a piece of black satin. 

They didn't speak, as they lay wrapped in each other's arms, taking in the warmth the other offered like it was a gift. Closing his eyes, brushing his lips across the top of Max's head, and sighing into her hair Alec figured that it was. He debated the merits of letting his voice split the calm.

Finally taking a deep breath to steady himself he decided to risk it, "I'm glad…" He took another breath to steady his shaking voice, "that you can't hate me." He felt her body tense against him, and he closed his eyes hoping that she wouldn't pull away, knowing that if she did he would break.

"You heard me?" She didn't move but she sounded so small, like some child afraid that she had done something wrong.

"I was…in and out all day. Most of the time I couldn't talk but I heard." His voice was low as he spoke quietly into her ear, trying to sound reassuring and figuring he was doing a horrible job of it. His tongue darted out to wet his lips as he breathed deeply. "I knew it was hard for you sometimes…me looking like Ben." He sighed softly when he felt her gentle fingers trace circles on his back. "I don't want you to hate me because of him." 

"I try…not to think about it. It's hard sometimes. Like in the woods today…" She let her words stop as she buried her face deeper into his next. 

"In the woods?" H e prompted his words rumbling against her cheek making her smile despite herself. "Tell me…please?"

"In the woods I was holding you like I held him…that last day…" Her voice broke as she reminded herself to breathe, "the day that I killed him." 

"What happened?" Resolutely staring at his chin she didn't want to look into Alec's eyes, anywhere but into hie eyes. He caught her chin and forced her to look at him, he let his mask down giving her something she had craved for so long, understanding. 

"We fought, I broke his leg, Lydecker was coming, and he begged me not to let them take him, he begged me to kill him. So I asked him to tell me about the good place and I snapped his neck." She stared into Alec's blue eyes and felt for a second that Ben was in there somewhere, listening. "Simple."

"I didn't know," Alec whispered biting down on his lip. He pulled her in closer to him crushing her forehead against his lips, "I didn't know."

"How could ya?" Her muffled voice floated to his ears.

"I used to have these really realistic dreams," he started hesitantly almost stopping until Max looked up at him her large brown eyes curious. "I'd be running through these trees; hunting, searching for something and I could never figure them out." He cleared his throat quietly trying to find the words to explain. "I felt like it was me but it wasn't, not really. I talked to this girl once who had apparently done research on twins, because she had had a twin and there was always things happening that couldn't be explained. She'd know when her twin was upset or if she got hurt. She had a theory that there's some…connection in twins that you don't find anywhere else, something about sharing a womb." He shrugged his shoulders causing skin warm skin to slide against warm skin. "I knew when he died, I think, before anyone else did." He looked down into her stricken eyes, "I knew on some level."

"I'm so sorry."

"You do what you have to do." He rolled over, rolling her onto her back so that he was leaning over her, propped on one elbow looking down into those wide trusting eyes, silently pleading with him as he ran a hand through her raven black hair. He treasured the feel of silk sliding through his fingers. "You had no other choice. It was probably the bravest thing, and the kindest thing, you could have ever done." He tried to control his breathing like he was taught. Manticore never taught him how to deal with emotions, however, with tears, compassion, and love; anything that would make him human. Manticore never taught him and so now he was in over his head. Trapped beneath the ice again reaching for air to only be swallowed. The difference now was that he was warm, so warm he thought he was going to burn from the inside out. "Don't be sorry, Max. You have nothing to be sorry about."

She was hugging him, burying her face in the hollow of his throat, while he clutched at her like a lifeline. He moved his hands down her back brushing satin causing him to freeze, he was quite suddenly, painfully, aware of the lack of fabric standing between their bodies. His eyes having gone wide he bit his bottom lip trying to figure out a way out of this situation before he disgraced himself. Silk and satin beneath his fingertips was more than even he could handle. 

She solved the problem for him as she pulled away and smiled up at him, "Are you hungry? We could go get something."

"Yes! That would be perfect right now. Why don't I go get dressed in the bathroom and you can get dressed out here."

"Ok." 

"Let's do that." He was nodding his head, knowing he looked like he had lost his mind but not really caring at that point. Max just smiled and laughed, shaking her head indulgently.


	8. Burn, Baby, Burn

AM I IN TIME TO SAVE THE CUTE SQUIRELL?!?!?!

Disclaimer: We know the drill by now, don't we? Not mine. 

Authors note: Well, I'm all giddy, I have almost all my fav. Author's on my review thingy. YES! I feel so special. I'm having fun writing this story, can you tell? HeHe. I bet there are a lot of people not even bothering with the Author's note. They don't realize that I could be writing the meaning of life and almost no one would realize it. Hey, you, with the pink kola you stink! Just checking to see if you were paying attention.

My name is Jessica, and I'm an addict. Feed my addiction, you know you wanna!

Has Anyone Ever Written Anything for You?

Chapter 8: Burn, Baby, Burn

~*~

__

Nothing that you say will release you.

Nothing that you point will forgive you.

Nothing's what your words mean to me.

Something that you said will destroy me.

Something that you said will stay with me,

long after you're dead and gone.

If flesh could crawl 

my skin would fall

right from off my bones

and run away from here,

As far from god as heaven is wide,

As far from god as angels can fly.

If holy is as holy does

this house will burn straight down to hell

take its conscience with it as it falls.

Nothing said could change the fact

my trust was blind

you broke the pact

if god's my witness than god must be blind

~ Garbage, "As Far from God" 

~*~

Sitting in the diner the two X5s just watched each other; smiles playing shyly on their lips. The truce was too new to air out n public so they contented themselves with comfortable silence and long looks. The waitress came out with their food, smacking her gum and grinning at them. "I'm so glad you kids made up." She placed pancakes down infront of Alec as he stared up at her. A plate of eggs and hash browns appeared infront of Max as she looked at her with drawn eyebrows. "It was obvious, earlier, that you two were fightin'. It just breaks m'heart when I see young lovers fight." Her nazel voice took a long time to decipher but when they did their mouths dropped and they scrambled to correct her.

"We aren't….no way," Max started waving a hand in the air.

"Trust me, if we were 'young lover' she wouldn't have been mad at me." Alec gave her a cocky smirk.

"Of course you're not, dearie. I believe you." The sparkle in her eyes and the smile firmly set in place belied that statement as she walked away.

Max kicked Alec under the table. "Ow! What was that for?" He rubbed his shin with a grimace.

"You're arrogant and you didn't help that situation!"

"I have good reason to be arrogant," he smirked at her cutting his pancakes with precision.

"I doubt that." She bit out her full mouth pulled into a tight line, trying to hide the fact that she didn't doubt it, in the least.

The look that Alec gave her then was dark and hungry; hungry in a way that no amount of food could satiate, "give me a chance, Maxie, and you won't doubt me ever again."

She froze, her body alternating between cold and burning all at once. "I'm not about to give you a chance."

"That's a shame. Afraid I'll prove myself right?"

"No, worried you might bruise that ego permanently. Plus, disgusted by the idea."

He clutched at his chest in mock pain; "you wound me!" 

"Eat your food." She stuffed a chunk of eggs into her mouth to emphasis the point. She was quiet for a long time focusing less on chewing than on the man sitting across from her. "You just can't stand it, can you?" She asked suddenly.

"Can't stand what?" He asked, raising an eyebrow after swallowing another mouthful.

"Letting someone in." She leaned in. "you show me this guy, that's actually nice, then you realize what you've done so you put on this mask of arrogant pig."

"I do not!"

"Yes, you do. I swear, near the end there you were about ready to explode from all the heart to heart shit."

Alec choked back a laugh while he looked at her, "yeah, explode…that's the perfect word for it."

"At least you admit it," she decided to ignore the laugh for her own sanity.

"Well, it's the hugging that got to me," he said with a straight face marred by his dancing eyes.

"Well, I hug people about as often as you do." She glared, "at least I'm not trying to hide behind some mask."

He suddenly got serious sighing softly and reaching for her hand, letting his thumb skim the top of her knuckles. "Both, the man in the bed and the man out here, are the same man, no masks. The other guy is just…shy." He smiled sweetly at her. "He's just not around often."

Max swallowed as she looked into his water blue eyes and got the strongest feeling that she was the second person to ever actually see that other man. Slipping her hand out of his she resisted the urge to whip her hand on her jeans to stop the tingling of her skin. She nodded at him slowly before turning to finish her meal, too deep in thought to hold up a conversation.

When they paid and got up to leave she was to preoccupied with the feel of his hand on the small of her back, steering her out of the diner, to bristle at the waitresses knowing grin and Alec's answering smirk. 

Max started paying attention when Alec took his hand away from her back leaving a warm spot against the cold air. He was watching her; the look of confusion on his face was almost comical when he shook his head. "Where'd you go?"

"Huh?" She was frantically trying to remember what he was talking about.

"When you went into zombie mode." Shaking his head again he sighed, then his cocky grin was back in its customary place. "When we leave tonight, I'm taking the disks."

"Why?"

"So you won't throw me into the lake," his face was completely straight as her mouth fell open.

"I did not throw you into the lake."

"You did to, don't you remember?"

"You started the fight that got you into the mess!" She was pointing her finger in his face while her other rested on her cocked hip.

"You threw the first punch."

"You told me to."

"What you finally decided to do everything I tell you to? If that's the case," he smiled with an evil glint in his eyes; "I've got some stuff I'd like you to do."

She shoved him softly, "would you stop that?"

"What?"

"Invading my personal space!" She was trying not to laugh as she stared him down.

"Does it bother you?" 

"Yes!"

"Why?" He was moving in again, "do I make you feel unsafe?" He was backing her into a wall as she laughed softly; he made his voice low and sensual. "Are you afraid," when her back hit the wall and his body was pressed flush against hers her eyes weren't as playful, his face was much more intense as he leaned in placing his lips next to her ear, "that I'll eat you up?" When his teeth nipped at her ear softly she thought her knees would give out. 

Her breathing was coming too fast as she leaned into him. Her eyes closed as her hands came up to rest on his arms, muscles bunched under soft skin; steel wrapped silk. Another playful nip almost had her whimpering. He nuzzled into the crook of her neck letting his teeth graze her flesh teasingly. She dug her nails into his shoulders and just as she was about to nuzzle into his neck he was pulling away, backing away with wide eyes. 

She did whimper then, leaning against the wall for support as he sat on the bed. "Anyways, I get to carry the disks." He was breathing just as heavily as she was but he was trying to put back on the cocky grin of earlier. 

"No problem," she was already walking across the room when she said, "I'm gonna go take a shower."

"Good idea," was the comment that followed her into the bathroom.

When she came out he was curled up, on the bed, in a tight ball and coming up next to the bed she looked down at him, her head cocked slightly to the left as she watched how his breath swelled his sculpted chest. Kneeling down in front of him she blinked slowly as she took in the smooth plains of his face; the cupid's bow-shaped pink lips, the thick dark eyelashes that fell like crescent moons across his cheeks, the dark eyebrows that arched softly like rainbows. She stood suddenly backing away from him, mirroring his own movements from earlier. Looking over at a clock she was that it was three in the afternoon, swallowing hard she padded through the room quietly determined not to wake him and sat down with her back leaning against the wall her knees pulled up to her chest and continued her vigil.

The sun was down when he woke up, his breathing changed the instant his eyes snapped open. He stared at her, where she still sat against the wall, her face stern as she stared back. He stretched lazily, putting every last one of his muscles into it. Standing up throwing her a smile he walked over to her and sat next to her barely letting their shoulders brush. "So are we ready to do this?" He asked his voice low.

"Yeah, I think so." She stood up slowly letting the kinks work themselves out of her legs. "You grab the disks and I'll get the explosives."

"I think I just changed my mind about what I want to carry." His brow furrowed as he looked at her with worry.

"Nope, can't change you're mind. You're stuck with the disks." 

"Can I at least detonate some of the explosives?" He stood up next to her as he made to grab his coat and the disks.

"We'll see." She laughed softly grabbing her own along with the backpack, now devoid of clothes and all supplies except for four black boxes. They were out of the door without another word. 

The silence on this trek through the woods was companionable, when they passed the lake Alec shot it one apprehensive look before shrugging his shoulders and moving on. Crouching in the woods next to the facility, Max shouldered her backpack and watched for the guard shift that was due in the next five minutes. There would be a twenty-minute opening when communication between the front and the back of the building wasn't expected. 

When she saw the guard lower his radio she signaled to Alec silently, and they moved out, slinking in with the shadows and the guards didn't see them until it was too late. Without a sound they made their was into the building, Alec guided the door closed so it wouldn't slam and followed Max in her half crouch, half run, they followed the maps in their heads with the perfect precision of the soldiers they were. A sound made Max freeze in her tracks a hand motioning Alec to stop behind her. 

They crouched in the shadows as they watched a guard walk through the hall, grumbling under his breath about having to do grunt work. When the guard came within arms reach of Alec he held his breath waiting for him to notice him. The guard disappeared down the hall and both Max and Alec let out the air swoosh out of their lungs. They weren't worried about one soldier except for the fact that the less confrontation the longer they would go unnoticed.

When they came to a split corridor they separated, Max taking the left and Alec the right. Alec counted his steps until he came to thirteen and turned to the left wall running his hand down it he quickly found the panel the would slide open a door that blended in with the rest of the wall. It slid open with a silent **swish** and looking up and down the hallway he took the first step into the room. 

A system of six computers sat on a table facing him, black eyes watching him accusingly. He slid into one of the chairs that sat in front of them and flipped the switch to power them up. When asked for the password he typed in the one Jen had given him and slipping a disk into the hard drive started copying the entire mainframe. He went through some files with idle curiosity passing the time until he heard the soft slither of a foot sliding across linoleum. 

He didn't start; he didn't turn around because he knew it was Max. She leaned over his shoulder looking at the computer screen that said fifty percent in big blue letter with a line halfway filled up with blue underneath it. "How's it going?" She asked into his ear.

"Piece of…" they heard the soft click of a gun behind them, "shit." They both turned slowly coming face to face with three men all holding guns pointed at them. Alec looked at Max; "I just want to say 'sorry' now for jinxing us."

"As you should." Her voice was cool and unaffected as she watched the men, softening her brown eyes and licking her lips slowly. "How much longer?"

"Ten minutes." He was standing up slowly at the gesture of one of the men; he had sandy brown hair and small beady eyes, that he should move closer to Max. 

"Shut up!" The one standing next to beady eyes called, he had black hair almost as dark as Max's and wide child like eyes, picking up his radio keeping his attention on them. "We have a breech in the main room. I think we have everything covered." Max smiled with an evil glint in her eyes as she watched him put the radio down. "Let's go."

"Where ya takin' us?" Max asked in a breathy voice as she swayed towards the three men, who were suddenly watching her with a new appreciation. Alec wanted to howl with laughter, knowing all too well how hard it was for a man to not watch her. 

"You're friend isn't going to the same place you are, sweet heart." The last man with brown cropped hair and eyes that reminded Alec of a boar; a boar that hadn't seen a girl in months. 

"Am I gonna get special attention?" She asked innocently. Alec couldn't look at her; he just waited for all three men to focus their attention on her. It wouldn't be too long until guns dropped to point at the floor. 

"Oh, yeah. Real special." 

"Oh goody," she purred as she came within arms reach. Boar man grabbed for her arm and she was moving too fast for him to see taking his arm and twisting it as the same instant that Alec punched the kid and kicked beady eyes in one liquid movement. Sending beady eyes into a wall where he hit his head and slid to the floor. The kid stumbled back looking like he wanted to ask the number of the truck that hit him. Max was kneeing boar man in the back sending him sprawling on the ground and by the time she looked up Alec was brushing off his hands. 

"Oh goody," he mocked with a smile.

"I'll deal with you later." She turned back to the computer that was now on ninety percent. "Come on." She whispered to it softly. She fidgeted as Alec sat back down clearing the screen of what he had been looking at when three guards had come. 

"Five minutes." He sighed gruffly. A radio cackled behind them, causing them to lock eyes before they turned around. "Give us just five minutes," Alec grimaced at the thing.

"Is the situation taken care of?" A static-filled voice asked. Max knelt infront of the computers and ran her hand along the bottom of the table.

"It was before you called," Alec grumbled and Max hit the back of his head softly.

"Sector two, are you there?"

"No, he's unconscious, you twit." Alec answered absent mindedly as he waited his body perfectly still. Max glared at him and he ignored her, ticking off the seconds in his head. She was taking out a black box with quiet efficiency and pulling out the explosive that was nestled in the thick protective cloth. 

"Sector two come in!" 

Alec looked at Max sharply, "can you turn that down or something?"

"We need to hear it," she snapped clicking the square into a holder and pressing it to the bottom of the table, directly beneath the main computer. She pressed a button and a red light started blinking slowly.

Alec counted down, five…four…three…two…one. The computer dinged softly and Alec grabbed the disk and vaulted out of the chair, grabbing Max by the arm and dragging her along. Once he knew she was moving he let go and all out ran with her one step behind him. They passed corridors ducking behind frantic soldiers and knocking the ones they couldn't avoid unconscious. 

A gun went off and Alec heard Max's soft grunt and a faltered step, he turned on his heel and caught her mid-fall. She was on her feet and balanced in seconds, running again, dodging the next bullet that ripped through the air. It was with a relieved gasp that they burst out the back doors, cold winter air filling their lungs before they heard the loud **cha-twang** of semi-automatics firing from the roof. 

They ran in zigzags, not looking back, arms pumping at their sides and snow flying behind them. Then the world was sound and heat. Red blossomed all around them and roar drowned out everything else. They looked back then already in the safety of the woods, men ran every which way, a few called out harsh orders. Looking back Alec had a flash back to Manticore burning down, transgenics running for their lives and soldiers trying to gun them down in their first seconds of freedom. It had been with mixed emotions that he had watched that fire.

He smiled thinly looking at this one; it seemed a strange justice to have one last bonfire in Manticore's honor. Shaking his head he turned as one with Max and continued the run to safety.


	9. Is it hot in here?

Disclaimer: The same depressing thing as always. The characters from DA aren't mine.

Author's note: You're reviews are slacking off and if you don't do something about it so will I. I'm doing a good thing here, tryin' to update once a day. It isn't easy, especially with me being a college girl and all. Come on, show me the love! : -D

Give me some lovin,' I dare ya!

Has Anyone Ever Written Anything for You?

Chapter 9: It is hot in here?

~*~

__

Everybody's got the fever

that is something you should know

fever isn't such a new scene. fever started long ago

you give me fever, you give me, you give me ...

fever when you kiss me

fever when you hold me tight

fever in the morning

fever all through the night

Romeo loved Juliet

Juliet she felt the same

when he put his arms around her

he said Julie baby you're my flame

he gave her fever

sun lights up the daytime, 

moon lights up the night

my eyes light up when you call my name

'cause I know you're gonna treat me right…

bless my soul I love you

take this heart away, take these arms I'll never use

and just believe in what my lips have to say

~ Madonna, "Fever"

~*~

They were on the way back to Seattle that night, letting the world fly away like the wind in their hair. Max was smiling despite herself, Manticore wasn't gone but they had to be hurtin'. She felt the rumble of the motorcycle between her thighs and purred softly in the back of her throat. The taste of freedom was on the wind and Max attributed the steady electric pulse reverberating through her, originating at Alec's arms around her waist, was due to that. 

It was eight in the morning when they pulled over and got another motel room. With careful deliberation Alec set down their mutual pack and slumped onto the bed, "I like riding on motorcycles, don't get me wrong, but another minute on that thing and I would have gone insane."

"Yeah, tell me about it." Max smiled, and nodded her head in understanding, but agreeing for a different reason. Alec was complaining because his muscles were sore from sitting spooned against her back, she wanted to scream because her muscles were twitching like they had been exposed to a high voltage electrical charge. Shaking out muscles as she made her way to her side of the bed, she secretly thought they had been. Maybe Alec kept a tazer in his pocket. 

They both laid down, with the lights out they could still see each other clearly. Damn enhanced vision. They lay watching each other, each head on its own pillow but close enough that Max felt the occasional brush of exhaled air across her cheek. Then she smiled, "you stay on your side of the bed and so will I." 

"So if I wander over to your side, you'll come over to mine?" He smirked and raised his eyebrows suggestively.

"Only to kick your ass." 

"So un-lady like," he tisked softly under his breath.

"Go to sleep." She laughed before turning over on her side, facing away from him. 

She woke to her body being shaken softly, back and forth, back and forth. She pried open one eye to find herself facing away from whoever was shaking her. Apparently they saw her wake because they stopped. She turned over to see Alec standing there looking like and over-stimulated cat and Max imagined that if he had a tail it would be lashing just then. He was biting his lip bouncing on the balls of his feet ever so slightly.

"Hi." He said softly looking nervous. "I was gonna go get something to eat and I was wondering if, you know, you need anything?" He was fidgeting with is hands stuffed deep in his pockets, "cause I can get you something if you want." He was smiling at her now knowing that he probably looked very strange. "Breakfast in bed, how's that sound?"

"Wonderful." She watched him sway from foot to foot. "What did you do wrong?"

"Nothing! I just thought…you deserve some pampering," tapping a foot and shrugging his shoulders, he watched her smile grow into a grin. "You've earned it, but if you don't want me to, I won't."

"No! By all means pamper away." She sat up with a laugh as he straightened his back still not stopping his fidgeting. "I could go for some pancakes and some sausage."

"I can do that. Anything else?"

"Milk?"

"Milk and pancakes? Strange combination, but milk and pancakes it is." He turned on his heel and strode out the door leaving Max shaking her head in bewilderment.

When he came back it was with a box perfectly balanced on one hand. He put the box down next to the bed and handed Max a styrophone box and sat down next to her on the bed and turned to her with a brown bottle holding four large daisies shinning a brilliant yellow. "I found some flowers," he explained, his face lighting up at Max's exclaim of surprise.

"Who are you, and where did you stash Alec?" She looked at him with wide disbelieving eyes.

"Hey, I'm trying to be nice, if you keep makin' fun of me for it, I'll stop." He made to get up and laughed as Max grabbed his arm and tugged him back down.

"I like," she smiled suddenly shy as his dark blue eyes bored into +her caramel gaze. "I'm just not used to this kind of treatment."

"More's the pity." He brushed a black hair out of her eyes gently. Shaking himself he stood up, "Eat and then we'll head out."

"Ok." Still shaking her head she started eating, and watching Alec, out of the corner of 

her eye, as he sat on the floor to eat his own meal.

~*~

They were back at Logan's listening to him argue with Jen when they both started to get alittle antsy. Alec pulled Max's hair and she stuck her tongue out at him. Then he was rocking back and forth on the couch making sure he hit her everytime. "Is it hot in here?' She asked Logan quickly.

"Yeah, you'd think with all your money you'd be able use the air conditioning or something," Alec quipped.

Jen's eyes widened as she looked at them, and Logan didn't notice her reaction when he gave Max a confused look, "Air conditioning in winter?"

"Hey, when it's hot it's hot," Max said defensively. Then taking sighing she watched Logan turn back to the computer screen and picked at her pants before deciding she needed a distraction. "So…Logan did you miss me?" Max called when he and Jen had both stopped to draw breath.

He looked at her his face straight something flickering in his eyes, and then it was gone and he smiled, "Yeah, I missed you."

"Jen, did you miss me?" Alec asked trying to make his face as sincere as possible, which wasn't very.

Giving him one of her biggest grins, "no." At his wounded expression she stuck her tongue out at him and crossed her eyes.

He turned to Max his eyes wide and hurt, "she didn't miss me." He made a soft sniffing noise as she patted him on the shoulder.

"Well, you didn't get her flowers, like you did me." She said without thinking and then she slanted a look at Logan trying to see if he noticed the words.

The look on his face said that he had, another flicker in his eyes made her want to flinch.

Alec was going on, oblivious to the new tension or determined to ignore it, "that must be it." He turned to Jen, sending her a desperate look. "Would you have missed me if I had?"

"Of course, but I would have missed you more if you'd gotten me jewelry." 

"I should have thought of that." He swallowed as he watched Max watch Logan who was now glaring at him. He was fidgeting again, tapping his heels against the carpet and beating a rhythm out on his knee, unconsciously letting his thigh rest against Max's. She didn't notice, having gotten used to having him close, but Logan did.

Jen did too. She bit her lip and turned her green eyes on Logan and touched his shoulder lightly, "Maybe we should finish this up later, now that we have it it's not going to hurt to wait a day. "

He smiled at her slightly and nodded his head, still watching Max and Alec sitting next to each other, not being able to hold still. Looking like he was putting together something in his head he walked over to his desk and called to Max and Alec, "I'm going to be working on this for most of the night so you can go ahead and go if you want."

"All right!" Alec exclaimed jumping to his feet with his arms in the air in a cheer. "You gonna come?" he asked Jen with an inviting smile.

"Yeah," she turned to Logan, "I'll come by tomorrow and help with anything."

"I'd appreciate that."

Jen and Alec made to leave and once they were at the door they turned to raise eyebrows in questioning, she put up one finger a motioned for them to wait for her in the hall. Shrugging his shoulders Alec opened the door and dragged Jen outside by her shirtsleeve.

Max stood in quietly biting her lip as she watched Logan at the computer, "something wrong?" He asked suddenly.

"No, I just wanted to know how you were. Seeing as how we don't really get much of a chance to talk, these days."

"I'm doing good," he turned around to look at her with soft eyes. "I was worried sick about you while you were gone."

"Yeah, well, I was worried sick about me too." She laughed looking down at her hands/

"So he got you flowers, huh?" She heard the catch in his voice and forced a smile at him.

"Yeah, he was trying to apologize, I'm pretty sure."

"Apologize?" His eyebrows pulled together to furrow his brow as he watched her wring her tap her foot nervously.

"It's kind of funny, actually. I don't actually think he was the one who needed to apologize since I was the one that threw him into the lake." Logan's eyes widened and his whole body seemed to relax. She held up a hand in exasperation, "technically I didn't throw him in, though, but that's his story and he plans on stickin' to it. I swear he told me to hit him." She was smiling at him with a sparkle in her eyes when he gave a bark of laughter.

She heard the door open behind her and a muffled "Uh oh" that sounded like Jen and when she turned around Asha was standing in the doorway holding a box of take out food and shouldering a backpack. "Asha," Logan called, "you're early."

"Sorry, I was bored so I thought I'd go ahead and come over," she looked at Max with wide eyes and then back at him. "I can come back later if you want?"

"No," Max answered for him, "I was just about to head out anyway." She smiled tightly at Logan before brushing past her and out the door to where Jen and Alec were waiting anxiously. Alec absently put a hand on the small of her back, Jen watched as she leaned into his touch with a wicked grin. 

It wasn't until they were sitting in crash, with Alec and Sketchy off getting another round of beer and Original Cindy playing the field that Jen decided to open her meddling little mouth, "so warm snugglies or hot monkey sex?"

Max mouth dropped open as she looked at her friend, it flapped in the air briefly as she made small noises. "Wh-what?" Her voice had somehow become high pitched.

"With Alec, warm snugglies or hot monkey sex? I thought I was pretty straight forward."

"Me and Alec are not…even…I mean…there was no monkey sex!" She didn't seem to be able to wrap her mind around any words as she coughed in surprise. And suddenly Alec was there patting her on the back and trying to see her face, his own screwed up with worry.

"So warm snugglies, huh?"

He looked at Jen baffled, "what did you do to her?"

"I just asked a question." She pouted for a full five seconds before taking the pitcher out of Sketchy's hands and poured herself and Max some. Max just shook her head and got up to go to the bathroom, her face still flushed. Jen's brows pulled together as she realized that Max had seemed somewhat flushed all night. Suddenly she turned on Alec, who was watching Max walk off. "You seem somewhat solicitous today, over Max, why is that?" She did her best I'm-asking-an-innocent-question face as she stared intently into the dark blue of Alec's eyes. 

He looked confused for a long time as though he didn't know why and it had just occurred to him to wonder. "Well," she raised one eyebrow as she looked at him, shooing Sketchy off to find Original Cindy, "we…I'm…there was this…we fought and I feel bad." He finally got out in a rush his eyes looking triumphant.

"And you've never fought with her before?" The look of disbelief would have been priceless except Alec was bristling. Wanting to know why it was such a big deal. Seeing the look on his face she threw her hands up and backed off laughing, her eyes glinting with the mischief. 

Original Cindy was coming back over dragging Sketchy by his collar apparently not pleased, "don't you know to keep away when Original Cindy is chasin' down a hot lickety boo?" she was asking pursing her lips. 

"I didn't think I would cramp your style that much!" He was mumbling under his breath, sending a grin to Jen behind her back.

"Problems, O.C?" Alec asked happy for something else to talk about.

"Don't send him looking for Original Cindy when you don't want him, he totally ruined my game with some hot leggy blonde." She smacked Sketchy upside the head for emphasis. 

"Well, where should I send him?" Jen asked smiling as he rubbed at his head.

"Original Cindy don't care, just not to her." She turned to see a very flushed Max come strutting out of the bathroom. "Hey, boo."

"O.C," Max smiled fanning herself off. "Get any honeys?"

"No. Thanks to this fool." She slapped at Sketchy's arm.

"I'm sorry!"

"You look a little over heated, Max." Jen said with raised eyebrows, "you feelin' ok?"

"Yeah, just really hot." 

Alec was watching her now, his head cocked as his eyes narrowed slightly. Max couldn't stop moving once she had sat down next to him, accidentally brushing against his arm. He froze, still watching her intently. Max felt his gaze and turned to him; suddenly she was falling into a blue abyss wondering which way was up. Jen watched this as her mouth formed an 'o' of surprise. 

"Max," Sketchy tapped her on the shoulder, "do you think you could loan me a couple bucks?"

"Don't have any to spare." She answered with a frown. Alec was glaring at Sketchy his jaw having gone tight. 

"Sketch," Jen called suddenly. Grabbing Alec's attention long enough for his ire to cool, leaving him wondering what had gotten him so angry suddenly. 

"Yeah?" Sketch raised an eyebrow at Jen, a smirk firmly in place. He was trying to copy Alec's confident smirk and was failing miserably.

"Come here." When he did she grabbed his collar and whispered into his ear, "don't talk to Max tonight."

"Why not?" he didn't take the hint about talking quietly so she smacked the back of his head. "You people really need to stop doing that."

"Because Alec will tear your arms out."

"What? Alec wouldn't do that, he's my friend."

She looked Sketchy straight in the eye completely serious. "Not tonight he isn't." He looked at her for a long moment before slanting a look at Alec, who was once again staring at Max. Original Cindy was trying to talk to them and hadn't caught on yet that they weren't paying any attention. Sketchy nodded his head silently his mouth having dropped open when he saw the look in Alec's eyes; something predatory had sparked there, and Max seemed to be enjoying it.

"Maybe I should go home."

"Good idea. Hey Alec," Jen called smiling sweetly, "get us another pitcher?"

"Sure thing," his voice was a deep rumble. He got up trailing a hand along Max's arm as she leaned into the touch. 

Max watched him through lowered eyelashes with a smile and licking her lips. She was tapping her foot impatiently as Jen watched her with rapt curiosity. Original Cindy was looking at her with narrowed eyes, "You ok?"

Max looked at her shrugging her shoulder with a twitch, "I feel fine." And just then a skinny blonde came up to, he smiled flirtatiously and her gaze heated.

"Hi, I'm Richard," he tried to make his voice sensual as he looked down at her, "What's your name."

"Max." She let the word hiss out of her teeth as she smiled just as flirtatiously. Jen was starting to get worried, looking from Max back to Richard, not sure if it was a good idea to interfere. Original Cindy had no qualms.

"Back, boy!"

"I'm talking to her, not you." He shot at her.

"It's fine, OC, its not like he's a threat or nothin'." She smiled again, reaching out to touch his collar when he was grabbed from behind, turned and slammed into the table.

Alec was standing over him his arm pressed against his throat. "Mine," he growled down at Richard, a true animalistic growl. That reminded any who heard of times long past when men lived in grass huts and feared the jungle cat waiting by the river.

"Alec!" Jen called reaching out to touch his arm and then drawing back very worried that she wouldn't be able to handle him. Then she looked at the smirking Max, who seemed to relish the territorial dispute, and got an idea. "Alec, Max is over there all lonely. You get picked up by a sector cop and you won't be able to keep her company." She said quickly and watched as his jaw clenched and then released, he threw Richard away from the table before sliding into the seat next to Max, slipping a possessive arm around her waist.

"Mine," he growled again into Max's ear as she purred rubbing her shoulder against his chest.

"Cindy," Jen whispered.

"Yeah, boo?" Cindy was watching the two transgenics with a slack jaw and wide eyes.

"I think we have a problem."

"Ya 'think' we have a problem? Let Original Cindy lay it down for you, she _know_ we have a problem."

"We gotta get them out of here," Jen bit her lip watching as Max and Alec talked in hushed whispers. "You get Alec, I'll get Max?"

"Why do you get my homegirl?"

"Cause I don't know if Alec will see you as a threat at this point."

"Good point." They walked over to their friends with smiles meant to convey just how much they weren't a threat. "Alec, don't you think it's time to leave?"

"Yeah, Max, how about we get you home?" Jen was tugging at her arm, and gave a sigh of relief when Max did so willingly.

"Can I get a ride home with Max?" Alec asked quietly.

Jen shot Cindy a look as she led Max outside. "How about we get you home so you can take a nice cold shower first, Suga' boo?" As Alec nodded his head she put a hand on his back and guided him the way that Jen had gone with Max. 

Max was sitting on her bike waiting for Jen to revv up her car and follow her back to her place, Jen was mumbling to herself, "I don't want anything to happen you're gonna regret." She waved at Cindy and Alec following Max through the streets to her house. 

Alec suddenly shook himself from head to toe and turned to Cindy like it was the first time he'd seen her all night. "I'm just gonna go home now," she nodded her head at him and let him walk towards his apartment without her tagging along behind. She had turned to walk back to her own apartment so she didn't see when he turned took a different route, in the wrong direction. 

Max was dozing, drifting in and out of sleep; her eyes having trouble staying open as she lay sweating on her bed. Then she felt gentle fingers stroke her hair and she flipped over onto her back to stare up at Alec who was gazing at her; hunger evident in his gaze. He let his fingers trace her jaw; slowly feeling her skin as he leaned over her. 

"Alec," she whispered a grin splitting her face.

"Max," he let the name drop off his lips like a caress as they hovered over the hollow of her throat. His tongue darted out as his arms slid up her arms, then he moved his mouth up to her ear. "You should wake up," he whispered calmly.

She sat up straight in bed, her eyes wide as she finally realized what was happening to her, she groaned dropping her face into her pillow. "I'm in heat again." That's when she heard the insistent tapping on her window.


	10. Primal

Disclaimer: I'm sick of this. I want Alec, and I want him now! Until then, however, I must tell you that he and all other Dark Angel character are not mine.

Author's note: Usually I write some of my ideas for stories and chapters while I'm in class and I started writing this one, without really thinking about it. Then a girl was looking over my shoulder (for some reason people find whatever I'm doing fascinating, don't ask me why) and I realized that I really really didn't want to write this around people. I was blushing the whole time, man. And then while I was blushing and laughing maniacally DA came on. Oh baby, if Alec looked at me and "I want you." I would have screamed "There is a God!" and jumped his bones, no falling asleep for me. Maybe some fainting though. Then came the embodiment of mortal sin, wet Alec in just a towel ::lots of drool:: and I got happy, then to my horror I realized there was just nothing about his chest in my story. Bad me. Then I realized that there was too much so I edited. TWEAK! So here's my most embarrassing chapter yet. 

I'M STILL A REVIEW JUNKIE!

Has Anyone Ever Written Anything for You?

Chapter 10: Primal

~*~

__
    
    I love the way you break my skin
    I feel the hate you place inside
    I need to get your voice out of my head
    'cause I'm the guy you'll never find
    I think you know all of the rules
    There's no expressions on your face
    I hope that someday you will let me go
    release me from my dirty cage
    I need to feel you
    you need to feel me
    I can't control you
    you can't control me
    I need to feel you
    so why's it even
    you and me
    I love the way you look at me
    I love the way you smack my ass
    I love the dirty things you do
    I have control of you
    ~ Puddle of Mud, "Control
    ~*~
    

He knew where she was and even if he hadn't known, he would still have been able to find her, would have been able to smell her. The part of his brain that wasn't primal, that had been shoved far away, was telling him it was pheromones that were leading him on. The animalistic part that had taken over just knew it was irresistible, and that was all it needed to know. Once he was outside her window he tapped quietly, and it was all he could do not to break it open.

When she saw him the smile that lit up her face was feral and sensual and wicked, his own in return was no better, or no worse depending on how you chose to look at it. Watching her slink towards him had his whole body tense, muscles bunching and relaxing no longer completely under his control. When the window slid open he came into her bedroom bringing in with him the smell of the night, clean and cool, the scent of cat and man intermingling, musky and untamed. His eyes were piercing and glowed with the sight of her and he stalked his prey with a deadly grace. A growl came from deep in his chest, a sound that he would usually have to suppress, but not now, not with her, and then he was springing at her. His arms wrapped around her waist and pulled her towards him even as he slammed her back into a wall with a resounding **thud**. "Want," he growled into her ear before nipping at it, in perfect opposition to everything else about him at that moment the teeth grazing her flesh were oddly gentle.

"Need," the word was a breathy whisper in the back of her throat, a half-growl half-purr, her hands clutching at his shirt. All she could think about was the feel of that body pressed against her; so soft and so hard. The muscles of his chest silk wrapped steel. She trailed rough kisses down his jaw until she her lips touched the corner of his and then he turned his head his own mouth descending on hers. His mouth made war on hers, battling for control, he ran his tongue along her teeth and she sucked it in letting them dance together. It left her dizzy and craving more; everything that he could give her she wanted it. He pulled her full bottom lip into his mouth, and dragged his teeth across it gently. He pushed his body against hers so that nothing separated them and fisted his hands into her hair, every tug causing a whimper. 

Leaving one hand in her hair the other slid down her throat over her collar bone skimmed over her chest followed the curve of her waist and rested on her hip for a short time before it found it's way onto the skin of her stomach. The touch of skin on skin was electric and mind blowing, leaving them both panting their skin already slick with sweat. Tracing soft circles up her stomach his hand brushed the satin of her bra eliciting a moan to escape Max's throat and suddenly Alec was grabbing the collar of her shirt and tearing, desperate for better access to the smooth skin underneath. 

Max roughly pushed him away, the unanticipated force sending Alec back three steps. She threw herself at him crushing her mouth to his, running her tongue across his lips teasingly, as she ripped his shirt off his chest stealing his move with a wicked grin. His hands ran down her back cupping the round cheeks of her buttocks and lifting her up, she threw her legs around his waist in response her lips never leaving his. 

He carried her to the bed toppling over backwards onto it, so she was straddling him. One hand slipped around to her back unsnapping the clasp of her bra while the other clutched at her hips. She came up for air throwing her shinning black hair behind her with a cascade of lilac scent settling around him. Even in their urgency they stopped, breath harsh and quick and gazed at each other; Alec eyes having darkened so much to make them almost undistinguishable from black. She looked down at that sculpted chest and swallowed hard, even if she hadn't been in heat, that chest heaving underneath her would have made her sweat. 

There was a whispering in the back of Alec's mind, so soft, so chaotic that not even he could tell what it was saying. His eyes slide over her skin, the curve of stomach and breast; his hand, that wasn't trembling but was so close he cursed himself, followed the line of his gaze so gently she thought she might be dreaming the touch. Looking down into his eyes Max was debating whether he was going to make love to her or devour her; when his hand reached her neck and once again fisted in her hair and pulled her down to him, she decided that it was a little of both.

Without warning he had flipped them, pressing her back into the bed with the weight of his body. He was hyper aware of everything about her, as though his senses had all been on ten and she had turned the knob up to forty. Every sound that came out of her throat was a roar, every pant, every moan, every whimper; her skin felt like rose petals, she smelled of lilac and leather and sweat and woman. She drowned out the rest of the world with her presence and Alec worried for the briefest second, in which the animal was pushed back, that he couldn't survive the onslaught of such perfection. Then with a growl the animal took over, not caring if he made it out alive and sane.

Lifting his hips he let her hands fumble at the button of his pants and tare at the zipper while his did the same, and with a curse he ripped the zipper apart. When her small hands pushed the waistband of his pants over his narrow hips it was forgotten and unimportant, something much more important was taking up his attention. His own hands slid her black panties off, his nails grazing her skin. His lips trailed down her chin, down her neck, over her breasts and then he took her erect nipple between his lips sucking gently before he put the barest pressure of his teeth on it. Her back arched with her full-throated moan. 

His eyes rolled back with the pleasure of the sound. Just as Max thought she had control of herself he would do something different to make her loose her mind; lick, suck, nip, or bite. She didn't know how much more could take before she exploded. The feel of him pressed against her was driving her insane with need. Then he was there his lips on her neck and hands trailing up her thighs, and his sex poised between her legs.

She ran her nails down his back roughly as he suddenly sank his teeth her shoulder, growling with her gasp of pleasure and pain mingling and the brief taste of blood in his mouth. "Alec," the breathy call of his name the same second that he slammed into her, stopped the whispers and turned them into screams. 

And then all hell broke loose. 

"Max," the name was ripped from his throat as he felt her body tighten around him. Buried in her up to the hilt he couldn't tell which way was up, whether he was flying or falling. 

She bit into his neck, marking him, and growled, "Mine." Then there was no air for words, no place for anything but sensation. Their bodies entwined in the oldest dance of creation, bodies slapping together, nails and teeth and lips and tongues. Her hips rose to meet his thrusts and the room spun stars bursting behind her eyes as her gaze locked with his. He kissed every inch of her body that he could reach, trailing his tongue over the indention of his bite, renewing the pleasure and pain. 

He watched as her eyes clouded over and her nails left half moons in his arms, as she arched into him. Her mouth fell open and she couldn't stop saying his name. Her first climax was a tidal wave, rising and rising; the tension in her body mounting locking muscles as his thrusts became more frenzied. Then it broke; the tidal wave came crashing down stealing away sound and air, drowning her. Alec was still moving bringing on the next wave almost bringing her off the bed. He was moving faster, deeper, each new wave coursing through her in time with him. 

He realized he had lost complete control, and even then it scared him, made him want to pause and pull back frightened he might hurt her. Then she gripped him and pulled him closer, her mouth creating a line of fire on his neck and chest. He buried his face in the crook of her neck, breathing her in as he found complete release. Some how their hands found each other their fingers slipping into place and they climaxed together one last time as they screamed each other's names. 

They both collapsed; panting for air, bodies still wrapped around each other. Alec's face rested next to Max's ear each hot breath searing her cheek. As he felt her body start to relax, one muscle at a time, as though she was reluctant to give up consciousness, he whispered one last word before he gave up his own struggle to stay away. "Yours."


	11. Reaching Out

Disclaimer: The DA characters don't belong to me. They'd be happier if they did though.

Author's note: Sorry this is late but I went on a day trip and then got pickpocketed. Disgusting thing for a person to do. I won't dwell on it though because all they got out of it was twenty dollars, a debit card that was cancelled within the hour it was taken, and my pictures. I'm more upset about the pictures than anything else, a lot of those I won't be able to replace. So I need a pick me up. 

Pick me up and review, people!

Has Anyone Ever Written Anything for You?

Chapter 11: Reaching out

~*~

__

Well they shouldn't have played that good

I got carried away and let the music go to my head

Well she shouldn't have worn that dress

The way it curled around when she was spinning

Just killed me dead

My heart began to tell my body and my soul

That it had gotten in the mood to lose control

Oh no, when did neon lights turn into moon glow

When did that jukebox turn into a rainbow

I'm about to give in to this urge

One more slow dance with her arms around me

One more long glance and 

nothing will slow me down

I got no chance

If I'm not in love 

I'm on the verge

All I wanted was to be cool

It ain't my style to over heat

Much less burn

But as we floated across the floor

All at once 

I flashed right past the point of no return

And any stars that hadn't set 

had fallen in my eyes

_~ Not sure_

~*~

Alec woke slowly, his consciousness settling down around him like feathers, and that should have told him that something was off. He was too happy to care, there was a curious weight on his shoulder that radiated warmth and smelled so good. He nuzzled closer to it with a contented sigh when he finally really woke up. His eyes came open slowly afraid that the night before had been a dream, afraid that it hadn't been. 

Max lay with her legs tangled in his and her head lying on his chest, when he looked down at her he thought he might be imagining the smile that softly curled the very tips of her lips. He breathed her in with the exotic splash of their coupling to add spice to the already irresistible smell. He could feel her weight on his chest, her warmth running throughout him, but he still ran one shaking hand up her back and up into her hair wondering if she was real. The other was tracing circles on her cheek with his thumb. Beautiful was the only word that came to mind for what seemed like forever as he gazed down onto her face and then another word intruded into his revere. Dangerous, which is what she was going to be when she woke up. She would accuse him of taking advantage of her, and she would hate him. Everything they had gained would slip away the second her eyes opened and he saw the spark of hate. He would go insane, he was sure of it, he would never be able to look in a mirror again without disgust. 

He didn't want to move, didn't want to leave that perfect embrace that had her arms resting on his arm and chest. He didn't want to have this feeling of peace go after he had just found it. But with an unsteady breath he let his hand slide once more over her smooth skin and slipped out from beneath her laying her head gently on the bed. He froze looking down at her when a small whimper escaped from her lips. When she didn't stir again he let his muscles relax.

What a sigh he brushed a stray hair from her forehead, letting his fingertips graze the skin one last time before he leaned over and pressed his lips to her cheek before turning to get dressed. He was thankful that his boxers and jeans were still intact, but when he held up the remains of his t-shirt he let out a soft groan. He looked out the window with a pout forming on his lips; cold winter air on an exposed chest didn't sound like fun. He admitted to himself that anything that involved not being in the bed with Max just then didn't sound like fun. 

He turned and padded to her closet, thinking she had to have some guy clothes. Skimpy t-shirts, mid-drifts, hip huggers, and finally one plain white t-shirt that would fit him, though maybe a little tighter than he usually wore them, but it would have to do. 

He climbed out the window and paused on the sill for a long time watching as Max slept quietly. Last night a jacket was unnecessary but today he was no longer reacting to Max's heat and so he was cold, shivering ever so slightly, reminding him of his dive into the lake. Even though he was cold he sat there until she started to stir; he ducked outside with a grimace and was on his was. 

When Max woke up she had the strongest feeling that something was wrong; something was missing. She opened her eyes to an empty bed but could still feel the fading warmth of another body. She buried her face in the spot and breathed him in; him, Alec. Her head snapped up as she looked for any sign of him still in her room. It was with a pang of disappointment that she found his clothes gone, all except for the remnants of his shirt. She crawled out of bed and walked stiffly over to the shirt and picked it up with trembling hands and held it to her face for a long moment until she felt a cold wind caressing her body. Her eyes lifted to the open window and she suddenly felt like she was going to cry.

He'd run away. She was a one-night stand, a heat driven animal, and everything that had happened hadn't meant anything to him. She let her body fold to the floor staring down at the ripped cloth in her hands, biting her lip to keep from making a sound. She didn't turn toward the door that opened behind her but she knew Original Cindy was standing there.

"You're beeper keeps beepin'." She stopped and watched Max sitting on the floor slumped over a piece of cloth and felt a twinge in her chest. "What's wrong, boo?" The voice was hesitant; Max had the strangest urge to laugh.

"He left." She answered marveling at the calm voice.

"Who left." Now Cindy's voice was sharp and surprised.

"Alec," Max had to clear her throat, had to fight to keep that strange calm that hadn't allowed her to cry. With a smile she thought maybe this was just the eye of the storm.

"Alec was here?"

"Came in through the window."

"I'm so sorry, boo." Cindy finally came into the room, and reached for Max's shoulder. "It was all Jen could do to keep you two apart, thought we had taken care of it when we finally got him to go home."

"I didn't want to be kept apart," Max said so quietly Cindy had to lean in to hear her words. "I wanted him to be here when I woke up!" She turned to her friend, her eyes hard and her mouth drawn into a line. 

Cindy didn't say anything, just watched her friend, her face stark and unhappy. She couldn't say, 'maybe there was a good reason,' this was Alec they were talking about. No one really knew what to expect from him. A beeping sound came from the living room and Max's head snapped up; "can you go see who that is?"

"Sure, boo." Cindy got up and walked into the living room shaking her head sadly. Max grabbed a robe and slipped it on before heading to the bathroom. "It's Logan!"

"He can wait for me to take a shower," she called back before shutting the bathroom door.

~*~

She was at Logan's again, but this time there was no Alec to fidget with or pull her hair, and Jen was looking at her like she knew exactly what had happened the night before. And with a grimace Max thought she probably did. 

She couldn't look Logan in the eye when she had come in, instead she had stared at his smiling lips and wondered how much it would hurt to force one of her own back. He'd been babbling on about how wonderful the Manticore files were for the last half hour and she didn't know if she could stay still much longer, nodding her head like she found what he was saying the least bit interesting. On a normal day she would, but this was not a normal day, and she didn't want to deal.

His words were sounding like blah, blah, splice, blah, blah, cure, blah… "Wait a second, what?"

"The files you stole, they contain a way for us to make the anti-virus. We found the cure." He was watching her with sparkling eyes, telling her just how excited he was.

"We'll be able to touch?" She was smiling at him but it felt empty in the pit of her stomach. Just one more thing to get her hopes up and then bash against the gigantic rocks of her life. 

"I'll be able to hold your hand without being rushed to the hospital," he was laughing now, looking at her with wide eyes. Jen leaned against his table with her arms folded against her chest letting a smile curve her lips gently but she was waiting for the look in Max's eyes that would tell her which way the story would go. There it was, the spark of fire burning under the surface of that chocolate gaze as it flicked to Jen. She wanted to know, she needed confirmation that wasn't clouded by Logan's wishing. 

At Jen's nod she turned to Logan with one raised eyebrow, "when can we do this?" she was finally smiling a real smile, something twisted when she realized that Logan hadn't noticed the difference. 

"Right now." Jen said quietly, her voice subdued thoughtful.

Max was staring at her, "now?"

"Jen already went to a doctor to have the anti-virus made, she came back with it a few minutes before you showed up," the smile wilted alittle when he thought about how long it had taken her to come after he had beeped her six times. "If you take it now, we can touch by tonight."

"Tonight?" Her face became dreamy as she thought about that. "I'll be able to touch tonight." She looked at Jen in disbelief for a fraction of a second before smiling, "Cure me, girl." Max couldn't look at Logan so she kept her eyed on Jen who picked up a black metal case in nimble fingers. It seemed like forever for her to walk the short distance to her syringe and swab in hand. Cat green eyes and Chocolate brown eyes met in understanding right before the syringe slid into the crook of Max's elbow. It was over in seconds but time seemed to stand still as she felt the sharp metal in her skin but no pain. "What now?"

"You go to work," Jen said placing the swab over the small red ruby of blood that dotted her skin. 

"You come back for dinner tonight," Logan said with a smile that lit up the room as Max finally looked towards him.

"It's a date," she smiled back and walked out the door giving Jen a nod of thanks and Logan one last long glance. 

The ride to JamPony seemed longer than normal and that was when she got the first twinge of annoyance that, of course, this day would go by as slow as possible, just to taunt her. She was finally going to touch Logan again, the love of her life, the man of her dreams, and she didn't feel like dancing like she knew she should. She ignored Normal and headed to her locker, she saw Alec and opened her mouth to say something when he turned away and walked to Sketchy without a backward glance.

"You got puppy dog eyes, girl. Lay down on Original Cindy, boo." Cindy said quietly when she came up behind Max who was staring into her locker not sure what she should be doing next.

"Alec is avoiding me," she answered keeping any emotion out of her voice.

"Did you tell Logan about your baser urges takin' over last night?"

"No," she looked at Cindy and her eyes got wide at the disapproving glare. "I can't, not now."

"Why not?" 

"We have a cure." The look on her face said she didn't really believe it but it was settling in slowly.

"That virus bitch is goin' down and you're worried about Alec?" Cindy's eyebrows rose to almost kiss her hairline. 

"You're right," Max forced another smile, not hearing Alec approach behind her silently, "Tonight I'm gonna go to Logan's, and I'm going to be able to touch him." Alec bit his lips and glared at his hands not seeing Cindy notice him, and not caring as he turned on his heel, grabbed a package from Normal, and left. Max's smile wilted as she looked at Cindy's stricken expression and she went on a left of her own. 


	12. If I could touch you

Disclaimer: The characters of DA don't belong to me. Must you rub it in?

Authors note: The angsty ficcy ciffhangery-ness of it all? I like it, unusual, but I like it. I'm sure I'm not a professional writer, you having me blushing, but I do dream of someday becoming a real author. Just like that wooden kid wanting to be a real boy. ::Sigh:: I miss my wallet. I was such a nice wallet, and my brother bought it for me too. Oh well, I will survive. Enjoy the chapter.

Review junkie, reporting for her fix!

Has Anyone Ever Written Anything for You?

Chapter 12: If I could touch you

~*~

__

It's getting so lonely inside this bed,

Don't know if I should lick my wounds or say woe is me instead

there's an aching inside my head

It's telling me I'm better off alone

But after midnight morning will come

And the day will see if you will get some

They say that girl ya know she act too tough tough tough

Well it's till' I turn off the light, turn off the light

They say that girl you know she act so rough rough rough

Well it's till' I turn off the light, turn off the light

And I say follow me follow me down down down down

till' you see all my dreams

Not everything in this magical world is quite what it seems

I looked above the other day

Cuz I think I'm good and ready for a change

I live my life by the moon (by the moon)

If it's high play it low, if it's harvest go slow and if it's full, then go

But after midnight morning will come

And the day will see if you're gonna get some

~ Nelly Furtado, "Turn off the Light"

~*~

Max was wet. Soaked through the bone as she stood in Logan's doorway, making a face at his bark of laughter. "It won't be safe for us to touch for at least another half hour," he threw a towel at her and walked into the kitchen and stirred a red sauce on the stove.

"Another half hour, huh?" Max asked as she made her way to the windows looking out over the city. 

"Yeah. I figure what's half an hour after all this time?" he called from the kitchen.

"A lot," she whispered, putting one hand on the rain streaked window. The cool glass sent a shock up her hand reminding her of the feel of Alec's cold skin when she had dragged him out of the lake back in Minnesota. She almost wanted laughed, the glass wasn't quite cold enough for the comparison, but it reminded her anyway. Shaking her head she pushed away the memories of Alec looking at her, his arms wrapped around her waist, and telling her that he was glad she couldn't hate him. 

She sighed, looking down at the street and allowed her gaze to travel to the other side of the street and watched the gutter become a stream. She listened to Logan in the kitchen, small sounds like humming and the occasional tap of metal on metal, sounds that she wouldn't have heard if she had been normal. 

She let her mind wander, resting her forehead against the glass, it was a mistake because she was assaulted with pieces of memories. Glimpses of full lips pulled apart to reveal perfect teeth in a grin, strong hands running through barely tamed dirty blond hair, blue eyes the color of an angry sky watching her with awe and fear. Snapshots of nimble hands tracing the curve of her hips as though she was precious, lips searing her skin so that she thought she might die from the heat, and finally whispered words of ownership in a dark room. 

She caught her bottom lip between her teeth and closed her eyes against the attack she hadn't been ready for. Her body remembered the feel of hands, skin as soft a silk, strong muscles rippling under her fingers, lips like flower petals, the smell of man and cat and night and sex,; she was trying to forget but her body remembered. It forcefully reminded she when she shifted and her shoulder protested, she had worn a high neck sweater to cover the almost delicate imprint of teeth there. It was a mark that had been mirrored on the smooth skin of Alec's shoulder. 

It was a thought that made Max feel infinitely guilty while she was standing in Logan's apartment, while he was busy making her dinner. She looked down at her watch, twenty minutes and they would be able to touch, nothing would be able to hold them back. She forced a mile onto her face, like she didn't believe she was alone completely and still needed to prove that she was happy. The love of her life would be able to touch her, she beat down the thought that he already could and had. She let out a soft growl that she almost didn't realize was out loud. 

"Are you ok, Max?" Came a soft voice from behind her. 

She turned to see Logan leaning against the door into the kitchen, his arms crossed over his chest, and one eyebrow raised in question.

"Yeah, I'm fine." She knew he didn't believe her so she scrambled for an explanation, "bad day at work. With it raining and all."

"I'm sorry, I hope you'll be in a better mood soon." He smiled letting her see his excitement.

"Give me fifteen minutes and you won't believe that I was ever in a bad mood," she quipped. Her eyes darkened as she considered what would be happening in the next fifteen minutes, thirteen now. When Logan clasped her hand would she start comparing the strength, or lack there of, to another pair of hands. Would she start wishing that it wasn't Logan who was running fingers through her hair. I'm supposed to love you, Logan. What does it mean if you're not the first person I think of in the morning? She smiled at him, stopping unvoiced thoughts, when he took a step toward her in concern.

"Dinner should be ready in ten." He said before retreating back into the kitchen. She watched him go, the smile slipping from her carnelian lips like pulled clay. She turned to look back out the window.
    
    ~*~

__

While I drive around in circles

Through the city

Just waitin' for the lights to change

But right about when midnight hits me

Moonlight gets me feelin' kind of crazy

I wonder 'bout her

does she still wear that same old ring

know I still wonder about her

and I know that ain't no big thing

well she left me all alone now

now I'm just waitin' for my phone to ring

I'm dreamin' about her

I guess I never really knew

That livin' without her

Was more than I could ever do

Cause she ain't coming back

No she ain't comin' back

No she ain't comin' back

Cause there's nothin' left to come back to

Johnny Lang, "Still Wonder"

~*~

Alec was running, his feet pounding on the wet pavement as the rain worked its way into his clothes and hair. His breath wasn't even rasping yet, but he felt like he had been running for hours. He had to do something, to let his body become so exhausted that he wouldn't' be able to think, or feel.

He was starting to wonder which was worse, wondering what it would be like to be with Max or knowing what it was like. He thought maybe it was worse to know exactly how her nails etching themselves into his back felt, or what her lips caressing his would actually do to him.

"Mine."

"Yours."

He ran harder, the streets becoming a blur and even his genetically engineered eyes couldn't focus on the walls of alleys or the indistinct links of chain fences. For a minute he imagined he was flying, running so hard and fast that his feet no longer touched the ground. He knew it was just a fantasy, though, and he thought that maybe he had had too many of those lately. 

He didn't know where he was going, and he didn't think he actually had a destination. He just knew he had to go. If you aren't going anywhere, if there is no destination, how do you know when to stop? How do you know it's time to fall to the ground, gasping for air, and then turn and go home? 

When you can't run anymore? He could be in another state before that happened. When you run off the edge of the world? The edge of the world was just another fantasy. When you find a place better than where you started? He didn't know if there was such a place. When you couldn't breath or when you were dead? 

It was decided for him, he tripped. His foot caught something that his eyes couldn't see and he was really flying for a second. His body soaring through the air in a graceful arch before he was falling, his hands catching him before his face could meet with a river of rain. He was gasping for air, not really because he needed it but because he didn't know what else to do. He wasn't moving anymore, he had stopped and so the memories were on him again.

Max holding his shivering body. Max's hand holding his as she lay asleep next to him. Max smiling at him, her face as bright as the sun. Max's lips covering his body with enough heat to fry his brain. Max curled up against him when he had woken slowly for the first time in his life. Max. Max with her chocolate eyes, caramel skin, and midnight hair. Max with her perfect body pressed against his so that there was nothing between them. Max. And the feeling of sheer emptiness when he had realized that she would hate him when she woke. 

With a shaking breath he realized that half his forearms was covered with water. He almost laughed at himself for not noticing, but the laugh froze in his throat and was perverted into a half-hiccup half-sob. He wanted to scream, to let the world know what he could have and didn't. 

He picked himself off the ground, feeling the rain pelt his body for the first time. He took a deep breath, taking in the scent of rain that hung heavy in the air and something fainter. Honey, for some reason he could smell honey mixing with rain. Then something in his brain clicked, a floodlight came on, and he almost hit himself. He was about to lie down and let Max slip through his fingers, because he was too much of a coward to do anything about it. He wasn't going to fight because Logan was able to touch her. 

Alec could touch her too, and he intended to


	13. What I wouldn't do

Disclaimer: Must I do this everytime? Must I continually tell you that they are not mine and that I'm just some lowly fan that goes through withdrawal and therefore must write so that she doesn't get all jittery? Must I?

Author's Note: I'm pleading with Pari106 write more!!! I want more on "Max Cale" and "An Emergency Change of Command." Give me something here, babe, cuz I really like those stories and I'm beginning to despair of ever reading their ends. No one else get offended you weren't mentioned cuz everyone who had a link on the review page I checked out your stuff, it's just she never updates and I'm getting jittery. Anyways, one more chapter after this and then I start on my next story that I've been toying with the idea for. You'll all check it out, right? I'm depending on the loyal readers to keep reading. Thanks for your reviews, keep 'em comin'.

Come on, baby, review me.

Has Anyone Ever Written Anything for You?

Chapter 13: What I wouldn't do

~*~

__

I'm walkin' back to Georgia 

She's the only one who knows

How it feels when you lose a dream

How it feels when you dream alone

She's the girl who said she loved me

On that hot dusty Macon road

And if she's still around

I'm gonna settle down

With that hard lovin Georgia girl

Mmmh mmh mmh

Georgia can you hear me callin'

I'll be home in just awhile

And if I have to I'd be crawlin

Just to share in another mornin' smile

You're the girl who said you loved me 

On that hot dusty long ago

And if you're still around

I'm gonna settle down

With you my hard lovin' Georgia girl

Mmmh mmh mmh

~ Jim Croce, "Walkin' back to Georgia"

~*~

Max stared at Logan across the table, barely tasting the meal and the wind was sour in her mouth. He was playing with his food pushing it around with his fork. The smile of earlier had wilted, leaving Max with a vague sense of guilt. "Do you like it?" Logan asked quietly, in between bites.

"You're best meal yet," she answered without looking up. 

They went quiet again. She didn't feel like talking or eating and he didn't seemed inclined to pull her out of her revere. They had kissed, when he clock had struck seven. They had joined in a slow passionate kiss that had left Max breathless and then she had pulled away. That's when Logan's smile had lost its sparkle. 

Max was looking anywhere but at Logan when she saw a jacket hanging from the back of his computer chair and it made her pause. Her whole body just stopped moving for a long time as she looked at it, like it was going to jump out and attack her. It was Asha's. "Logan…" she began quietly not too sure what she wanted to say.

"Hmm?" She seemed to pull him out of his own revere. 

"Mind if I ask you a somethin'?" She ran a hand through her hair and bit her lip.

"What did you want to know?" He looked at her then. Taking in the nervous shake of her leg he leaned over the edge of the table.

Her mind went blank; "do you think you'll ever run out of pre-pulse champagne? I mean, everytime I turn around you break out a bottle of pre-pule somethin' or other." 

Logan raised his eyebrows in question, his expression suddenly becoming concerned. "I think my stash champagne should last me for a while."

"And what's so special about pre-pule? Don't they have post-pulse champagne that's good?" She smiled nervously, "post-pulse. Dare you to say that three times fast." 

"Max, are you ok?" 

"What were you and Asha while I was gone?" It came out in a rush and she realized that she had never bothered to ask him before. She knew she should have, with all her worrying, all those nights she had paced back and forth imagining. He looked like a deer caught in the headlights, hand paused with fork in hand halfway to his mouth, and eyes wide open. "When you thought I was dead…what were you?"

"We were…friends." He started slowly.

"With benefits?" It came out so simple, just another question with no meaning behind it. 

"Not exactly." He was fidgeting now, Max thought to ask him if he was going into heat this time. The only problem is that it would start it's own questions.

"But kind of?" One eyebrow rose to furrow her brow.

"I don't know…exactly…what we were"

"You were something though?" She willed him to look her in the eye and answer truthfully. Willed him to tell her something that she already knew.

He had to swallow first. "Yes."

"Do you miss that with her?" Max was looking at her hands folded in her lap before she met his eyes again. "Being with her and touching her?" 

"No…"

He opened his mouth and she cut him off, before he could finish, without thinking. "Because I'm noticing things, like the fact that she's around all the time, and she comes with dinner when you just turned me down for hangin' out, and her clothes are left here, conveniently. Do you not miss her because it didn't matter or because something's still going on?"

"Max…" His voice trailed off as he looked into her wide brown eyes.

"I need to know if you would rather be with her."

"Max…I…" A knock rang out through the apartment, loud and insistent. "Hold that thought while I go get that." He threw down his napkin and got up to only have Alec come striding into the room, water dripping off his clothes and his eyes wild.

"Alec?" Max stood up, worried, looking for any sign that he was hurt.

"I have to talk to you, Max." He said breathlessly, standing in the kitchen doorway like he was about to bolt.

"We were in the middle of something," Logan said calmly sitting back down, silently thankful for the interruption.

"I don't care, I have to talk to Max."

"You can't just come into my home and tell me that you want to drag my guest away without a good reason." Logan's mouth had drawn into a tight line as he had watched the X5 drip onto his floor.

"I gave you a good reason, I have to talk to her." Alec looked like he was about to snap Logan's neck. The display of testosterone was starting to get to Max, so she decided to end it.

"Guys, calm down."

"Just stay out of it right now, Logan." He growled before cursing under his breath and turning back to Max. "Please I have to talk to you," if she didn't know better she would say he was going to cry. Or already had, there was no telling with the water already running down his cheeks, as though he didn't notice that he was soaking wet.

"All right," she looked at Logan for understanding, and at his reluctant nod she smiled sadly at him. "I'll be back." And then she followed Alec out of the pent house into the hallways. Once she had shut the door behind her he rounded on her. 

"Do you hate me?"

For a minute she couldn't say anything so her mouth just flapped uselessly until she shook her head and looked at him her brow furrowed in confusion. "Why would I hate you?"

"Because I left." He watched her face crumple, concern replaced by hurt. "This morning I didn't…"

"Alec, this is not the time…" She wanted to yell at him, let him know what it had felt to wake up in an empty bed. But he wouldn't let her finish.

"It is, because if it isn't I'll never do this." He was pacing back and forth in front of her, the hallway seemingly to small to hold him. She let her back fall against the wall with a sigh as she watched him, her face becoming blank.

"Do what? Ruin my night with Logan? Play with me like I'm another of your honeys?" She let no emotion in as she said this, watching his face for any reaction; she got it. He looked like he might vomit, or kill himself. He looked like he was disgusted that she would think such a thing, disgusted with himself.

"No…" the word was broken just like his expression; it was the only word to describe the ache on his face. "No, I don't…"

"Because if that's what you want you've already ruined the night. Hey, you did that before you even showed up, so it was just a wasted trip." She let the back of her head fall to the wall with a soft **thud**. 

"I didn't mean to," his voice was small, so small that she almost didn't hear it. He wasn't looking at her, just staring at some distant point down the hallway. Then his shoulders straightened and he turned to look at her with eyes that seemed to send sparks. "I woke this morning…and I panicked. Do you really blame me?"

"Why?"

"I woke up next to you and I felt like I wasn't alone, but I knew that when you woke up I'd be alone."

"Why?" She asked again folding her arms over her chest.

"Because you would look at me and you would hate me, for being with you. I didn't know…if I could handle that. Not after a week of almost being your friend." He swallowed hard, whatever giving him his courage faltering for the fraction of a second, when he saw the look on her face. Confusion and fear mixed together. "So I ran, stupid of me, I know…and then I tried talking to you and you were back hanging on Logan."

"Why shouldn't I be hanging on Logan? Huh? He can touch me now." The words were forced as she tapped a foot impatiently.

"I can, too." Then he looked at her, his eyelids like lifting veils to reveal the purest of blue, an angry sky rolling over head. She had a flash back to their night together as he slipped in through the window, smelling of man and beast, untamed and fierce, a predator stalking it's prey. To when she had looked at him, saw he wanted to devour her, and let him. 

He was against her in a heartbeat his lips pressed against hers in hunger, and she could do nothing but feed him. The simple contact of lip to lip seemed to short-circuit her brain as she melted into him, then he pulled away. His forehead against hers let his lips rest against hers, "mine." The word was so low that even this close if she hadn't been a transgenic she never would have caught it.

He ran one hand over her cheek gently and kissed her again, gently, his lips the barest of brushes before he moved his lips against her ear and whispered again, "yours." 

She pushed him away before she realized what she was doing, "Don't get all possessive on me because I had a one-night stand induced by heat." She started to walk back into Logan's apartment but his hand on her arm made her pause.

"Don't walk away from this!"

"Why shouldn't I? You did."

"I don't want to be alone." He waited for her to turn to him. "I wasn't alone for the first time in my life. I don't want to have to live like that."

"So get one of your many conquests to relieve the loneliness," she spit out.

"I could…" he bit his lip as he looked at her sadly, "but I'd still be alone."

She wrenched her arm out of his hands and glared at him. "So you need someone who you won't be left wantin' more with?"

"They don't understand. No one else can. Logan will never understand you like I do, no girl will ever be able to understand me like you do." She opened her mouth to retort but she couldn't, not while he looked at her like that. Lost and scared, a man begging with his love not to leave him, or his lover. "I don't want to be alone anymore."

She closed her mouth with a **snap** and turned to Logan's apartment and without a word disappeared. Alec let his eyes close as he felt his legs give out from underneath him. He scooted next to the wall and drew his knees up to his chest. He watched the door she had disappeared behind and fought back tears. He couldn't wrap his mind around the fact that she had left. Truly left without a backward glance or a parting word. 

He knew that he would have to get up eventually, go outside, walk through the rain again, and go to his empty apartment for the night. He didn't want to, didn't know if he could. Working legs seemed just a memory, another fantasy plaguing an otherwise healthy mind. He ran a hand through his hair grimacing as he pulled on it slightly. 

He forced his legs to move, to take him where he needed to go, and it seemed like an eternity before they started to respond and then the door to Logan's penthouse opened and Alec couldn't think anymore.


	14. What can I say?

Sorry to anyone who had issues with this chapter, me and the computer got into a fight, so I threatened kick boxing, she's much more co-operative now.

Disclaimer: DA isn't mine, the characters aren't mine. Deal with it, I've had to.

Author's Note: Gosh, I'm kinda sad now. I don't know if this end has managed to do justice to the rest of the story, and I hope it does. I'm not exactly the best critique cuz if you had asked me I would have said that all of the story needed vast improving. I will be coming out with more stories soon. I've been working on this almost non-stop and I have no idea what to do with myself now. So thus more stories will be coming. 

Review, for old times sake.

Has Anyone Ever Written Anything for You?

Chapter 14: What can I say?

~*~

__

She's blood, flesh, and bone

No types of silicone

She's touch, smell, sight, taste, and sound

But somehow I can't believe

That anything should happen

I know where I belong 

And nothings gonna happen

Cuz she's so high, High above me

She's so lovely

She's so high

Like Cleopatra

Joan of ark advertising (ta ta ta ta)

She's so high

High above me

First class and fancy sprees 

She's high society

She's got the best of everything

What could a guy like me ever really offer?

She's perfect as she can be

Why should I ever even bother?

_~ Tal Backman, "She's so high"_

~*~

Alec stared at the ceiling, watching as the room turned from gray to blue, some internal clock in his head telling him that it was six o'clock in the morning. He didn't know why he was awake then; his body was sore and tired, but warm. Warmer it seemed then it had been in a long time. He felt the pressure against his side stir and sigh, causing a quick pang in his chest. The body spooned against him was small, soft, and warm. This tiny woman had filled his bed and the empty space that had swallowed him whole when he had heard the door click shut. 

Sitting up on one elbow he looked down at her and traced the curve of her should with a light fingertip; something strangely like a purr rumbled in his chest as he gently touched the fading mark of teeth. 

He pressed his lips against her back in the barest of kisses before pull ing her closer to him. He took in the tan caramel skin, the full bee-stung carnelian lips curved upwards, the full black eyelashes casting half-moon shadows on her cheeks, and the long ebony hair spread over the pillow. 

He watched as air filled her lungs soundlessly, and smiled as he buried his face into the back of her neck, breathing in the soft scent of lilac. When the door had opened and he saw her standing there, one hand on her hip and her eyes fiery, he had almost cried. When she had said in a tense voice that had sounded equal parts sadness, and joy, "if you make me regret this I'm kicking your ass," he had almost fainted. Then her arms were tangled in his hair, her face buried in the curve of his neck and she sounded like she was crying, and then he had wanted to fly. 

He had pulled her as close to his body as possible without losing clothes, feeling as her muscles relaxed against him, and he breathed a sigh of relief, knowing he was about to explode any second. "Thank you," he was whispering over and over only partly aware that he was speaking.

Then he was kissing her feverently, almost afraid that she would disappear behind Logan's door and not come out again, that he was hallucinating. But she was solid in his arms, a weight against him complete with the delicate scent of lilacs. She was real, banishing the loneliness with an attitude and a kiss. The kiss sent off sparks, electricity that made Alec wonder if it was safe to be wet while he was doing this. Then there was no room for thought as her tongue slid past his lips to war with his own. Then he had lifted her into his arms, never breaking the kiss afraid that if he did she would have second thoughts.

Even now Alec had to touch her cheek to make sure she was real and it hadn't been a dream. Her breath was hot on his skin as he smiled down at her. The tense expression that always seemed to color her face smoothed away to a look of contentment and Alec couldn't help the beam of pride that he had been the one with the power to put that look there.

She slept, something that he knew was rare and precious and he had to pull his hand away at that thought for fear that he might wake her. And as he settled in next to her, with the intention of going back to sleep a smirk tugged at his lips as the thought struck him that this time he would be there when her eyes opened, he would be the first thing she thought about.

~*~

__

Has anyone ever written anything for you  
In all your darkest hours  
did you ever hear me sing  
Listen to me now  
You know I'd rather be alone  
Than be without you  
Oh, don't you know that

That I want you to remember me

Has anyone ever given anything to you  
In your darkest hours  
Did you ever give it back  
I have  
I have given that to you  
If it's all that I ever do

Well, I want you to remember

That this is your song

_~ Stevie Nicks, "Has Anyone Ever Written Anything for You?"_

~*~

She felt him wake and pretended sleep, keeping her breathing even as she felt his shaking hand graze her skin reverently. It made her want to smile to open her eyes and kiss him but she didn't, instead she stayed still. Feeling it as he watched her and rejoicing when he pulled her body closer to him.

It seemed like forever before he buried his face in her hair and his breathing slowed into the rhythm of sleep. She raised up on to her elbow and grinned down at him. Shark DNA can do wonderful things, like making it so she almost never had to sleep. Then her smile fell when she saw his face; the corner of his lips curved ever so gently as though he had never doubted her return. 

She had almost not come back. She had been so ready to turn from him and run into Logan's arms, but she couldn't. She had opened the door to Logan's apartment and found the jacket stashed away from sight and it had made her pause in her mad dash to him. 

He was waiting as she walked calmly into the kitchen not letting her face show, for even a second, what had happened in the hallway. "Is Alec doing better?"

"No," she wouldn't say anything more as she watched him with eyes that were more confused than anything else. "I love you, Logan." The words had caught in her throat but she managed to choke it out. When his mouth had opened to reply she had rushed to continue, "just not how I'm supposed to."

The look on his face had made her want to cry, because it was crushed and angry but more so because it was not as angry or as crushed as it was supposed to be. "What do you mean?"

"All this time I thought I was supposed to love you, you were supposed to be the guy I gave everything to. The normal guy that was supposed to make me normal by default." Her eyes had been sad but she went on, "it doesn't work that way."

"Max, I know you feel…"

"I'm not normal! I never will be and…" she looked at him letting the words trail off for a long time before she could continue, "and you have Asha."

He looked like he was about to fall over; "Asha and I were friends, Max."

"Were. You aren't friends anymore."

"How do you know that? How can you jump to that conclusion."

"Heightened sense of smell? Two eyes? Two ears? All genetically engineered to go along with an over-sized brain." She had smiled then looking at him as he had crumpled in defeat. 

His hands had writhed against his legs not knowing what to do with them until he looked up at her, his eyes bright and unhappy. "I'm sorry."

"So am I." She had folded her arms over her chest and leaned against the kitchen table, biting a lip softly, "We were…both ready to move on and neither of us really wanted to admit it."

"Just for the record, nothing happened between me and Asha." It seemed to lift a weight off of him, telling her that. 

"Just for the record, something happened between me and Alec." She didn't want to look at him for a long time and then she forced herself to turn her gaze on him. He was unhappy but when he opened his mouth the reason wasn't quite what she had expected.

"Alec?" He seemed ready to pout, "it had to be Alec?" 

She let a smile split her face as watched him, "I think it did. Who else would be able to handle me?" Then she swallowed against the lump that had formed in her throat. "Do you think we can still be friends?"

"The worst line in the world." Was his sad reply before he looked at her again his eyes serious. "Yeah. Eventually."

"That's all I need to know."

"The guy had the balls to come to my house and win you over." He muttered under his breath making a face.

"No, he already did that…I think." Then her eyes widened as she remembered something, "Oh no."

"What?"

"I gotta go and find him." She said with a huff of air. Grabbing her jacket she shot one last look at Logan, full of regret for what had been and couldn't be, and then she was heading for the door not looking back again. When she had opened it fully intending to scour the city for him the sight that had met her had made her want to fall to her knees and beg for forgiveness. Alec curled up on the floor looking lost, and when he had turned to her with wide eyes she had seen the way he held himself, like he was broken. She didn't know what to do for a long time before she put one hand on her hip as she watched him get up and said as testily as possible, "if you make me regret this, I'm kicking your ass." 

Then she couldn't stop herself and she was flying at him, throwing her arms around him and burying her face in his neck taking in the scent of leather and man and rain. He pulled her to him whispering so low that she almost didn't hear him, "Thank you, thank you." She didn't know whom he was thanking, and at that moment she didn't care.

And then he had kissed her. It was slow and passionate and wild all at the same time and she couldn't wrap her mind around how he managed it, just that he had. It was like lightening had struck and she couldn't think of anything else but feeling it strike again. Her fingers tangled in his hair while he lifted her up and then they were falling. Falling for ages until they had landed tangled together on his bed. She would never be able to tell how they managed to get there, but if asked how they got their fully clothed she would say 'sheer willpower.' 

And now looking down at that smile she smiled too, knowing she never would have been able to stay away from him for long. She trailed a finger down his cheek, along his strong jaw, and traced the outline of his lips, feather-light. She leaned in closely to him placing her lips on his cheek in a tender kiss before whispering so softly she almost could hear it, "yours."

When she pulled away his eyes were open and he was looking up at her, smiling gently, "and never forget it." She started to make a snide remark when his mouth captured hers and for several hours she didn't have enough air, or enough higher brain functions, to talk.


	15. Alternate Ending

Disclaimer: they still aren't mine.

Author's Note: Ok here's the deal. I didn't like how I ended it. But some people said that they liked it so, I'm leaving up the first version as well as putting this one up. I changed it around a bit nothing too drastic. I'm happier with this one though still not all woohoo, but I suspect that I'll never be woohoo over a story of mine. Can't be helped. Tell me which version you prefer. Please? ::gives sad puppy dog eyes::

Has Anyone Eve Written Anything for You?

Chapter 14: What can I say?

~*~

_Has anyone ever written anything for you  
In all your darkest hours  
did you ever hear me sing  
Listen to me now  
You know I'd rather be alone  
Than be without you  
Oh, don't you know that_

_That I want you to remember me_

_Has anyone ever given anything to you  
In your darkest hours  
Did you ever give it back  
I have  
I have given that to you  
If it's all that I ever do_

_Well, I want you to remember_

_That this is your song_

_                ~ Stevie Nicks, "Has Anyone Ever Written Anything for You?"_

~*~

Max opened Logan's door with the intention of running into his arms and losing herself there but something was off. She stopped in her tracks, trying to figure out what had changed, and then she realized that Asha's jacked had been stashed away. She stared at the chair it had been on and her lips pursed in thought.

She knew that Logan was waiting for her in the kitchen, she could hear the gentle clank of his fork tapping on his plate, and she could hear him mumbling under his breath. She also knew that he wasn't aware of her. So she stood there with her thumb in her pockets and tried to decide what to do next. She had yelled at Alec and Logan was in there waiting for her to come and tell him that she loved him.

Taking a deep breath she squared her shoulders and took the last few steps into the kitchen. Logan's head snapped up when she cleared her throat, his blue eyes were dark and brooding, "So is Alec any better?"

"No," she bit her lip as she watched him for a long time her unwavering gaze made Logan nervous but he knew she was trying to make a decision. "I love you, Logan," she said finally but when he opened his mouth she rushed on, "just not how I'm supposed to."

The look on his face had made her want to cry, because it was crushed and angry but more so because it was not as angry or as crushed as it was supposed to be. "What do you mean?"

"All this time I thought I was supposed to love you. I was never any good with emotions, I didn't even know what love was except for my brothers and sisters, but I thought I was supposed to love you. You were the normal guy that was supposed to make me normal by default." Her eyes had been sad but she went on, "it doesn't work that way."

"Max, I know you feel…"

"I'm not normal! I never will be and…" she looked at him letting the words trail off for a long time before she could continue, "and when I kiss you I'm not supposed to be wishing you were someone else. I don't know that much about love, but I know that much. So I love you just not the right way and plus…you have Asha." The last was a whisper as she looked down at her hands trying to keep her tears in check.

He looked like he was about to fall over; "Asha and I were friends, Max."

"Were. You aren't friends anymore."

"How do you know that? How can you jump to that conclusion?"

"Heightened sense of smell? Two eyes? Two ears? All genetically engineered to go along with an over-sized brain." She had smiled then looking at him as he had crumpled in defeat. She closed her eyes and ran a hand through her hair. 

"I'm so sorry," he looked down at his own hands that were picking at his pants in distraction.

"So am I. I'm sorry." She folded her arms over her chest and leaned against the kitchen table and met his eyes, "we were…both ready to move on. We both did, we just…didn't want to admit it." 

"Just for the record nothing happened between me and Asha, not really." It seemed to lift a weight off of him, telling her that. 

"Just for the record, something happened between me and Alec." She didn't want to look at him for a long time and then she forced herself to turn her gaze on him. He was unhappy but when he opened his mouth the reason wasn't quite what she had expected.

"Alec?" He seemed ready to pout, "it had to be Alec?" 

She let a smile split her face as watched him, "I think it did. Who else would be able to handle me?" Then she swallowed against the lump that had formed in her throat. "Do you think we can still be friends?"

"The worst line in the world." Was his sad reply before he looked at her again his eyes serious. "Yeah. Eventually."

"That's all I need to know."

"The guy had the balls to come to my house and win you over." He muttered under his breath making a face.

"Apparently…he was desperate." Logan looked at her with one eyebrow raised. "He came asking me not to let him be alone, and I screamed at him. He thinks I'm in here to be with you." 

"Max, you can't…."

"I can't leave him like that, I know. I was just so mad at him." She grimaced at her feet, "when I woke up this morning and he wasn't there I wanted so badly to just make him hurt." She looked up with wild eyes as she realized exactly what she had done. "Oh no. I gotta find him."

"Good luck," Logan wouldn't meet her eyes and she had the worst suspicion that he was trying not to cry. She leaned over and touched his hand marveling at her ability to do that finally. Grabbing her jacket she shot one last look at Logan, full of regret for what had been and couldn't be, and then she was heading for the door not looking back again.

Then she was out the door ready to scour the entire city to find Alec but that's not what happened. When she saw him getting up from where he had been curled up she felt her lips tighten. He looked at her with lost eyes and she wanted to slap some sense into him. So she did.

She slapped him, open palmed and only hard enough to make a soft smack but it whipped his head around, he hadn't been expecting it. "That's for leaving this morning," she answered his shocked look. Putting a hand on her hip she pursed her lips unhappily.

"I said I was sorry…" he looked ready to cry.

"Damn straight you are. You better be happy that I'm willing to let you make it up to me."

"I know that…" He stopped and looked at her with wide eyes. The sting from the slap completely forgotten. "I get to make it up to you?"

"You'd better. If you make me regret this I'm kicking your ass. Be forewarned." She made another fist in warning.

A smile lit his face, "how would you like me to make it up to you?"

"You're so gonna be my slave for a very long time."

"Promise?" he was smirking now, his confidence restored as he watched her slink towards him. She bit her lip and raised an eyebrow and then he couldn't help himself. He grabbed her and pulled her to him as close as he could and without removing any articles of clothing. Her arms slipped around his neck and tangled in his hair as he lifted her. For a moment he was afraid that he was hallucinating, that this was some horrible joke and she would disappear behind Logan's door not to return this time. She was solid in his arms though, solid and warm and complete with the intoxicating scent of lilac. 

She pulled away suddenly and looked down at him, "if I wake up tomorrow and you aren't in my bed, we're gonna have some problems."

He smiled mischievously, "what if I'm gone because I went to get you breakfast?"

"I might…might be able to forgive you if it's a really good breakfast."

He kissed her again, gently, a brushing of lips and then she smiled and the kisses became passionate and tender and electric. Frying her brain like she was struck by lightening and all she could think was that she wanted more. She felt his tongue on her lips and opened her mouth letting him taste her. Her fingers tangled in his hair while he lifted her up and then they were falling. Falling for ages until they had landed tangled together on his bed. She didn't know how they had gotten there she was just thankful that they had. 

He pulled away from her one hand resting on her hip and the other cupping her cheek. The look in his eyes was unbelieving and awe struck like he had never once thought, not even when he had burst through Logan's door, that she would be there in his bed. He swallowed hard when she smiled wickedly up at him and let her hands slip underneath his shirt, letting flesh meet flesh. 

She trailed a finger down his cheek, along his strong jaw, and traced the outline of his lips, feather-light. She leaned in closely to him placing her lips on his cheek in a tender kiss before whispering so softly she almost could hear it, "yours."

When she pulled away his eyes were opening and he looked down at her, smiling gently, "and never forget it." She started to make a snide remark when his mouth captured hers and for several hours she didn't have enough air, or enough higher brain functions, to talk.


End file.
