Bleach 1. Chapter 1

**Took from "Black and White" and turned into a bigger story. Hope you like it - the first chapter is the same. **

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Karin looked down on Karakura with a grim smile. She came back from Soul Society several days ago and she still couldn't get used to being back in the real world.

She never should have believed a different world existed. This is real, and that is just an illusion. The wind blowing in her face is real, and not an illusion like his love.

She tried being a shinigami, she tried climbing up the hierarchy for him… She became a lieutenant for him… She left the world of the living for him…

Everything seemed so perfect. Their life there, his eagerness and gentleness. His kisses and touch. It all seemed like a dream come true. And now the dream was over and it was time to wake up, she decided.

It was time to look fate in the eye and take what she could and leave.

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"Shiro-chan I'm so happy!" Hinamori smiled gently at Toushiro. "I really do feel much better now." She insisted as he wanted to help her get up.

"I hope so Hina-kun." He replied looked at her without a smile. He rarely smiled these days. It was not right for a Taicho to smile.

"A lot has changed since I woke up, would you please show me around again?" She laughed gently.

"Of course, what would you like to see first?" He gave her his hand for support.

"Maybe the new academy grounds?" He suggested. "They were rebuild only three years ago." He informed her.

As they walked past the old academy building she gasped when seeing what used to be a ordinary training ground. Everything was completely rebuild, there was some kind of special fields prepared, new trees were planted, and where used to be barren ground was now fresh green grass.

"It's very nice here." She smiled. "It used to be such a boring place, but now it's much more interesting."

They walked further along the path and reached the edges of the field. Some kid trainees were playing a game Hinamori did not know, but it seemed fun.

"What are they playing?" She asked the silent Toushiro.

"It's a game developed on Earth, it's called football." He replied briefly.

"Taicho Hitsugaya!" Some kid yelled at the captain. "Will you please come and play with us?" He asked with a smile.

"Sorry not today Hiroyuki! I've got duties to attend to." He replied.

"Will you please tell fukutaisho Kurosaki that the finals will start the 15th of March? She promised to train us a bit more if we qualify!" The child recited quickly.

"We wanted to tell her in person, but since she is on mission now we can't contact her personally." A different child said.

Hinamori noticed that all the children playing had gathered around, they were all looking pleadingly at captain Hitsugaya.

"Ok, I will make sure a hell butterfly with the message will be send." He finally responded.

"Hurray!!!!!" The kids yelled and went back to their practice.

"Who is that fukutaicho Kurosaki? I don't think I've met her." Hinamori noticed.

"She's the one who initiated the rebuild of this part of the academy and who introduced this game as a method of training. She is currently on a mission, so you had no opportunity to met her yet." He replied gently.

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"What do you mean she is missing in battle?" A yellow haired man, who Hinamori did not know, yelled.

Yamamoto simply repeated the message. "It has been reported that Kurosaki Karin has been lost in battle. That is why this meeting had been called on."

In the room where all the captains, several fukutaicho and some people who she suspected to be members of the Kurosaki family.

There was man with taicho insignia. A girl with honey-colored hair, and the blond young captain.

"Who are they?" She asked Toshiro.

"The man is Ishinn Kurosaki, the girl is Yuzu, and the new captain is Ichigo. They are the closest relatives of the missing Karin Kurosaki." He explained quickly.

"What are the details?" Ishinn Kurosaki asked.

A deputy of the captain commander stepped forward and began reading the report.

"Her squad reported that they were fighting with several menos grande and that suddenly Karin Kurosaki disappeared." The deputy explained.

"Was she taken by the menos?" Rukia Kuchki asked coming into the room.

"We do not know Fukutaicho Kurosaki." The man replied.

"Fukutaicho Kurosaki?" Hinamori whispered.

"She married Ichigo Kurosaki two years ago." Captain Hitsugaya replied.

"So it has been decided, a team will go to Earth and search there, while a second team will be send to the menos forest." Yamamoto declared, bringing back Toushiro's and Hinamori's attention to the main topic. "This meeting is dismissed."

"I insist on going to Earth with Rukia, our friends there should be able to help us with tracking her there. And if we will not find her we will rejoin the other squad in Menos forest." Ichigo Kurosaki declared.

"As you wish." Yamamoto agreed. Everyone went back to their duties.

"What wrong Shiro-chan?" Hinamori asked the extremely silent and pale taicho.

"Nothing is wrong, I'm just worried about her." He said.

"Did you know her well?" She asked as they walked out of the meeting hand in hand.

"Yes, quite well. We were good friends." He replied curtly. He tried to ignore the deadly glare Ichigo and other Kurosaki family members were giving him. It was not their business what he was doing and with who. He was a free man.

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Time passed quickly, several searches were made but not sign of Karin was found. She had been assumed dead, but that did not bring relief into the heart of her relatives. Yuzu felt as if she had lost her other half and couldn't concentrate or focus on anything. Ishinn was behaving even more stupidly then ever trying to make everyone feel better, but even kicking or hitting him did not help Ichigo… He just knew something was wrong, and that he had to save her from whatever harm, but he had no idea where to start looking for her… But he certainly knew who to blame for the whole situation… And only the fact that he had duties towards Rukia and the newly born Ichiro was stopping him.

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She was doing quite well. Her job as a school teacher and trainer was satisfying and left her little time to think about things she did not want to think. She even took special extra lessons in the local karate club to limit her free time to the minimum. She was going forward slowly and steadily. But somehow it seemed to be so empty and cold… Then she reminded herself how he looked when they said Hinamori's illness was remising… And how he ran to the hospital and how he did not even say goodbye and walk her out before her mission… What she saw when she came searching for him to say goodbye… She shook her head and fought with the tears. She made a promise. She would not cry! She was Karin Kurosaki and she would survive!

She hadn't been feeling well recently, but she blamed it on the snow, and the cold weather. She smiled thinking of spring. Yes, as soon as spring would come everything will be much better, she smiled to herself. The dullness of winter was never her favorite, you couldn't play football in the snow, or go for long walks.

But as spring slowly came nothing changed. She was feeling worse and worse, she was getting paler and slimmer, and she felt like the whole world was placed on her back. She didn't have to go to see a doctor to know what was going on. It was clear as day… And as evident as the fact that she didn't have her monthly bleeding for at least three months… Going away from the Soul Society she took not only her pride and soul, but also a part of him as well…

She didn't have anyone to talk with, no friends or family she could turn to. But one day everything changed. She was sitting in the teachers room, sipping black tea and trying to calm down her stomach before the next lesson when the history teacher, Mrs. Yamane approached her. It was a older lady, with nice thick black hair and a good smile. Karin could easily tell that this woman had more spiritual power than anyone else in the staff.

"You should drink this my dear." She said giving Karin a packet of white tea instead of the black. "It will work better for the baby." She added with a smile.

"How did you know?" Karin asked taken by surprise.

"You are just like my daughter. She had huge problems with her pregnancy as well. And as you don't have anyone here I thought I could help a bit." The woman smiled.

"Thank you very much." Karin replied. She could not shake the feeling that this woman wanted to say more then she actually said.

With time everything sorted itself out, at first she was worried about her job, but the headmaster hearing about her pregnancy agreed to some special conditions for her. Instead of taking part in trainings she would simply supervise them, not engaging into physical combat. Most of the kids were fascinated with her growing belly, and they laughed that she should let them be uncles and aunts to her child. At first she had problems with her living arrangements. Her landlord did not accept pets and children in the building, so she was forced to look for something new. That was when her life took a 180 degree turn. She asked several people at school if they knew of any flats for rent, and then Mrs. Yamane told her she wanted to rent a part of her house.

"You see it's too big for one person." She explained. " My husband died years ago, and I lost my daughter over five years ago…" She added. " So I would love to have someone take up all that empty dull space." She added trying to smile cheerfully, but Karin could see in her eyes a lot of pain and desperation. She just had to agree.

Toshio was born in late June, just at the end of the school year.

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"Get back here you little devil!" Karin yelled at her son from the kitchen.

"But auntie Kei said I could go play a bit before dinner!" The nine year old boy replied.

"Yes, that's right Toshio, but a bit has already passed and it's time for dinner now." Mrs. Yamane told him in her usual calm fashion.

Toshio was a bright child, even a bit too bright for Karin's taste… She had no idea what she would have done if not for Mrs. Yamane. They were still living at her house, she was patient with Toshio and loving as a grandmother. Moreover she was the symbol of harmony and knowledge, and she gave such a good example to the slightly hyperactive and too intelligent and curious little devil Karin gave birth to.

Her son did not look like her at all. He had white spiky hair, green eyes and pale skin. But there was something in the shape of his face and his smile that was of his mother's. He definitely had her character, a bit pushy, a bit stubborn, and with a fiery temperament, but he was all hers, she loved every second of her life with him. He was her son and only her son. And something in the back of her head kept her alert of any signs of his rising soul energy, because that would signify the day the Soul Society would come and claim him…

She gently patted the head of her son, and noticed his grim when he saw all the vegetables on his plate. She smiled and pinched him gently.

"If you eat all of it, I'll go and play soccer with you!" She teased him, he looked at the vegetables again and looked back at his mother. "One hour of soccer and at least half an hour of Karate, and one hour of playing the computer." He stated his demands.

"One hour of soccer, one hour of Karate and no computer." She stated firmly. He looked at the plate again.

"Soccer and karate and I want that new book on the ancient roman army we saw in the bookshop." He looked at her piercingly. _A book instead of computer games? Why not…_ She thought.

"We have a deal." They shook hands and began eating their meal.

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Her life was going on peacefully, despite an occasional fight with her son, she had almost forgot that there was a different reality from this one. She almost forgot about pulses, hollows, arrancars, shinigamis, and everything in between. But they did not want to forget about her. She was able to hide her energy perfectly, so that she would seem to be an ordinary human, but that took many years of practice. Practice her son did not have time to do. They were slowly calling him, he was attracting them, and he noticed that something strange was going around him. He noticed that he saw things other people did not see. Being a smart child he knew not to ask stupid questions in front of other people, but when being alone with his mom he tried to ask her. And she would try to explain about power control and about avoiding danger. But being just a child he could not fully comprehend what kind of danger she meant. That is until one day…

He was walking home from school. It was his usually route, pass the park, then one turn left and one more turn right. He knew it by heart, because he had to walk it at least twice or day, or sometimes even four times when he would practice football in the park with his friends. Mrs. Yamane's house was the last in a row of identical houses , just before a large block of flats. He was half way home when he felt something strange. He knew he could see things other people couldn't so trying not to act funny he slowly turned around, but there was nothing there. The feeling of danger did not let go of him. He knew something was wrong. He tried to concentrate to find from where that feeling came, and he determined that it was not behind him, but more to the right. He gently moved his head in that direction, and what he saw made him go pale. It was not anything he witnessed before. It was simply huge, standing over a house, and it was ugly too. He could feel the evil emanating from the monster but he couldn't run, his feet were stuck as if glued to the pavement. In the distance he saw his mom running towards him. But it was a different mom then he had ever seen before, she had a black kimono and a long slim sword in her hands, and her eyes were burning with fury. With one slash she sent the monster down, then she grabbed his hand and they ran home.

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"We have picked up a signal of a shinigami!" The operator at the controlling machine noticed as he analyzed the patter of the energy impulses detected on Earth.

"There are many shinigamis stationed on Earth, so why are you making such a fuss?" Rin bored noticed with a yawn.

"Because this is not one of our shinigamis!" He yelled at her.

"What do you mean not ours, there are no other shinigamis then ours you imbecile!" She noticed and then she realized what happened. "So you mean we detected a shinigami which is not currently on duty?"

"Finally you know what I'm talking about…" The man gasped.

"Give me the energy scans, if this person is in our register we should be able to determine the identity!" Rin Tsubokura, who was now higher up in ranks, gave a swift order. She was on duty, and when she was on duty everything would be taken care of properly.

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"Are you sure it was Kurosaki Karin's energy you detected?" Yamamoto asked Rin Tsubokura the 5th seat in the scientific department

"Yes, we are positive sir, the energy patterns match in 97." The girl replied.

"Have you pin pointed the location?" He asked.

"We will have it detected precisely within one hour." She replied.

"So after over nine years you have come back to life Kurosaki…" He murmured to himself and began thinking of a possible action for the Soul Society to take.

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"Mom there is some strange man in front of the house!" Toshio told him mom.

"What do you mean by strange?" His mother asked him.

"Well, he's got a huge sword!" The child slowly described the person. "He is wearing a black kimono just like yours but with white patterns, and he has strange yellow hair!" He wanted to continue but he mother ran out of the other room and came up to the window.

"Ichigo…" She whispered, and he magical choice that moment to look up at the window. She knew there was no running now that he's found her.

"I'll take care of Toshio and make some tea, you go and great him." Mrs. Yamane told her taking Toshio's hand and leading him to the kitchen.

Karin slowly came up to the entrance and opened the door. She looked her brother in the face and he stared back. They were staring without end, when she realized it was so not like them at all. She smiled and ran up to him.

He hugged her tightly and she began telling him how much she missed him.

"Mom" she heard her sons voice behind her. "Tea is ready." He informed them.

Ichigo looked at the child standing on the door step and froze in shock. "I'm going to kill that bastard." He whispered to Karin and went to meet his nephew.

"My name is Ichigo Kurosaki and I'm your uncle." He told the boy.

"I'm Toshio Kurosaki." The boy answered. "It's a pleasure to meet you sir Mom told me a lot about you."

"Let's go before the tea gets cold." Karin took her sons hand and took her brother by the arm and lead them both into the house. There was a lot of explaining to do.

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"Dad!" Yuzu called her father entering their house.

"What is it darling?" He asked looking at his gold haired daughter.

"I've got just an urgent message from Ichigo, He's found Karin!" She yelled. "We have to go to Earth immediately!"

"Oh my god! Wait till everyone hears about this!" Ishinn yelled in joy.

"Wait father! Ichigo asked me not to tell anyone but you and Rukia so please keep it a secret for now." She demanded. She had a feeling there was a good reason why Karin ran away and scaring her again could cause the same reaction.

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"So this is the place?" Ishinn asked his daughter as they were standing in front of a house in the middle of Karakura.

"Yes, according to the note it is. Let's go in." Yuzu replied and rang the door bell.

Soon they heard footsteps inside the house and when the door opened they nearly died of shock. In front of them stood a little copy of the 10th Taicho… Yuzu simply fainted, but her father was overjoyed.

"I have a second grandchild!" He yelled and hugged brutally the child. Toshio was completely taken by surprise and he was even more shocked when his mother came along and brutally kicked her own father.

"Don't strangle your grandson at first sight!" She yelled at him.

Then she noticed Yuzu on her floor. "Poor sister." She whispered. "Now don't you two just stand there! Help me carry her into the house!" She commanded both her father and son.

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"Have you heard the news?" Hinamori asked her boyfriend.

"What is it about?" He looked at her questioningly.

"That Karin Kurosaki has been found! Imagine! They found her after so many years from her death proclamation! Her family must be very happy!" She kept chattering and did not notice that Toshiro did not reply or comment. He just went pale and looked at her as if he couldn't believe it.

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Rumors spread around the Soul Society very fast. Some talked about that she turned into a monster. Some talked about that he fell in love with a human. Some repeated stories about how she lost her memory and because of that could not return. But no one was prepared for the truth. Especially not Hitsugaya Toushiro and his girlfriend Momo Hinamori.

She came back to the Soul Society with the approval of Yamamoto. Some wondered what that meant, and if she were to regain her ranks. It was rather irregular that a former fukutaicho would regain his or her status. Usually people in her situation were considered traitors. But not Kurosaki. Everyone wondered the reason. But when she entered and held by the hand a little boy with white hair and green eyes, everyone realized the reason why she left. And they could not blame her. Everyone knew of her close relationship with the 10h taicho and everyone knew he left her as soon as his beloved Momo awoke from her coma. Suddenly the atmosphere became very cold, not because of Toshiro's doing, but because of the general disapproval of the Soul Society.

Hinamori looked at the child and then looked back to her beloved Toshiro and she suddenly realized why everyone disapproved of their relationship. No one ever said anything, but she could feel it from the day she awoke. She especially felt that the Kurosaki family hated her, but until this day she did not realize why.

"He looks a lot like you." She whispered. He did not reply. He froze in shock and his brain tried to add up all the pieces of this complicated puzzle.

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"Karin we need to talk." Toshiro caught her in one of the halls of Yamamoto's residence.

"There is nothing to talk about." She replied coldly. He would prefer if she was mad, he knew how to deal with a mad Karin, but this cold one was completely unknown to him.

"I want to talk about my son." She told her.

"He is not your son, and never will be!" She replied keeping her pose.

"Don't lie to me!" He yelled at her losing all his calmness.

"I am not lying. You were not there when he was born, you were not there when he was growing. You were not there when he needed you. You are not his father." She stated and slowly walked away. She turned around just before she left. "Maybe there was a day when I would have let you in into our lives, but that day you chose her. There is no turning back time." She walked away.

Their lives were separate and there was nothing that could glue their love back into a whole. She cried all night, but in the morning she realized she had something more important which Hinamori could never take away from her. And that something was Toshio's love, and Toshiro's son. And she would fight to keep them both away from him.


	2. Chapter 2

**Toshio – "genius, valued man"**

**Ichiro – "First son"**

**Ryuu – "dragon"**

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Toshio entered the academy the following day. He was surprised with the idea of becoming a Shinigami, but as most of his relatives were shinigamis he understood this was a natural course of events. He talked with some other students, who same as him, were to start the first year training, and he learned a lot about the zanpakutoes and types of power. He was a bit disappointed that contrary to most of the kids in his age he still did not find his zanpakuto but his mother said she was much older than him when she got hers.

"Mom just how old were you when you found out about the existence of the shinigami?" He asked during dinner after his first day at the academy.

"You must remember that Ichigo became a shinigami before me, and I noticed it shortly after he gained his powers, I think I was twelve or thirteen at the time." She replied.

"So you were at least three years older than I am now?" Toshio asked.

"Yes darling, and I found my powers when I was around sixteen." She smiled. "Why are you asking dear?"

"Mom, you see most of the kids my age in the academy already have their zanpakutoes, why don't I have it yet?" He demanded.

"If you were raised here, you would probably have it by now, but you must remember that in our family abilities develop slowly, your uncle became shinigami at the age of fifteen, I became a shinigami at the age of sixteen, and it took Yuzu even more time because she developed at the age of eighteen." She carefully explained.

"Does that mean that I will have to wait that long to get my zanpakuto? Does it mean I will be weaker than my classmates?" He cried in terror.

"Oh dear… Don't you worry about that! We might develop slower but the Kurosakis are among the strongest families here!" She laughed at him. "Take a look at Ichigo, he became captain just four years after becoming a shinigami, and I became vice-captain just in three years! It might take us more time to get our powers, but when we do nothing can stop us!" She child slowly smiled at her. "You haven't met your cousin Ichiro yet?" The boy shook his head. "He's just slightly older then you, but he made it to the second grade without having a zanpakuto. If he did it, why can't you?" She smiled encouragingly.

"Will I meet him soon?" He asked.

"If you want we can arrange Ichigo and his family to come here for dinner tomorrow." She smiled. "You haven't met Rukia either, and I bet you'll also like her."

"Yes, mom that would be great!" He boy cried and hugged his mother.

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Rukia watched attentively as her oldest son played with his cousin. Ichiro had Ichigo's hair, but her eyes, he was tall and slim. Contrary to both his parents he was a calm child, not causing too much problems and always doing what he was supposed to. She took one more look at Toshio, it was clear as day whose son he was, but no one dared to comment. The child did not look like a Kurosaki, but there was something in his smile that reminded her of Karin. And she could also recognize that spark which Karin and Ichigo had. The boys got along really well, she was a bit worried at first because Ichiro was not outgoing towards people, but it turned out Toshio had a good influence on him. Her five year old daughter Ryuu was sitting on the carpet observing the boys, she did not dare join them, but as they went out to play in the garden they proposed to take her with them. The little girl was clearly very happy, so Rukia did not stop them. She was completely different than Ichiro, she had black hair, and deep brown eyes, she was petite and delicate, but had a vivid temper just like her father.

"So what do you plan on doing?" Rukia asked as she was helping Karin in the kitchen.

"About what?"

"About him…" Rukia pointed out.

"Nothing." Karin replied firmly.

"Are you sure that's a good choice?" Rukia asked.

"For me it's the best I could make." Karin replied.

"But are you sure it's the best choice for him?" Rukia pointed at the children playing in the garden.

Karin did not reply, but Rukia seeing a single tear fall down her cheek did not ask again.

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Having Ichiro at his side Toshio slowly felt more secure in the academy. The older Kurosaki told him all about the subject in the first year, and even offered him help with homework, which Toshio of course did not need. After school they would eat dinner at either Karin's house, or Ichigo's and later on they would train together. But both boys were feeling the pressure of being in the academy and not having their zanpakutoes. Some kids laughed at them, and some teachers did not fully accept it. Some kids even tried laughing at Toshio for not having a father, but being under the protection of two captains, the boy was untouchable for them. But the problem of the zanpakutoes did not disappear, and slowly both boys became determined to get theirs fast, because they knew that otherwise their situation could become even worst.

"Dad…" Ichiro slyly entered his father's captain office one day.

"Yes Ichiro." His father asked glancing over a huge pile of papers.

"Dad, we need to get our zanpakutoes." Ichiro demanded.

"We?" Ichigo asked and soon noticed Toshio looking from around the door frame.

"There is only one way boys..." He slowly said. "But you might die trying it…" He wanted to scare the boys, but he noticed they did not back out hearing the last line… He never had seen such determination in his son's eyes.

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Karin was a bit worried when her brother said he was taking the boys for a trip, and couldn't even determine when they would come back, but Toshio was so eager to go she could only agree. After just over a week they returned and her son ran into the house happily asked her to come and see. She immediately noticed what he was talking about, a long, big zanpakuto on his back. He smiled and hugged her. "Mom I did it!" And she could just cry of happiness, her brother was standing in the doorway holding onto his son, who now was holding a short slim blade.

"Thank you Ichigo!" she told him.

"You have nothing to thank me for, it was all his own work." He brother smiled at they ran off home to meet with Rukia and the other family members.

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"So now let's see what kind of blade you got there!" Karin stood in front of her son on one of the training grounds.

She showed his her blade. "My zanpakuto's name is Muzumaru. What does that name tell you?"

"That your zanpakuto is connected with water." He replied.

"Good." She said. "Now tell me the name of yours."

"Aisukazetemna." He said.

"Good." She told him. "Now ask him what he can do." She demanded.

"Her." He replied. "It's a girl. Mom but how can I ask something like that?"

"Just close your eyes and concentrate and call her name. She is a part of you and always will be there." He nodded and slowly sat down and concentrated.

Slowly he lost track or reality and reappeared in the place covered with snow and ice. He looked around and saw her. His guardian, his zanpakuto, she was a tall lady with black hair, and black robes.

"So you want to learn more about me?" she asked and sat down next to him.

"I am the daughter of Hyorinmaru and Muzumaru." She told him.

"Hyorinmaru?" He asked.

"Yes, that is your father's zanpakuto." She replied. He looked at her in a bizarre way.

"So my father is also a shinigami?" He asked.

She nodded. "Is that what you came here for? To ask about your father?" He shook his head. "If you want to know more about him, ask your mother." She told him.

"I want to know more about you." He said firmly noting in mind that he and his mother had a lot to talk about.

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He was trying to concentrate on his book, but he could feel the eyes of his teacher watching him carefully all the time. He noticed the attention Ms. Momo Hinamori was giving him, but he did not welcome it. He preferred to be just like everybody else. But this time when he raised his head to look at her, he noticed tears in her eyes and before anyone could react she ran out of the door and left the class all alone.

The kids began whispering, Ms. Hinamori was one of the favorite teachers in the academy, always kind and gentle, full of understanding and always willing to help. But making their favorite teacher cry was a crime Toshio had committed unknowingly. He noticed the class glaring hard at him, but he did not comment just went back to his book. He did nothing wrong, so he did not feel guilty for anything.

After the incident with Ms. Hinamori he realized a lot of teachers were watching him very carefully. Some were encouraging as if expecting great things from him, but other were unpleasant, even hostile. He had a bad feeling about it. But he knew he could not talk with his mother, she would only get worried and as she refused to talk about any problems, his father or any other difficult questions he had after coming to the soul society, he engulfed all his worries and tried to ignore it.

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The same evening he decided to talk with his friend who always was there to help him. He called out Aisukazetemna and waited to be engulfed by the icy plains.

He saw her standing afar, looking at the horizon, so he joined her. He looked at the sky it was unusually dark and cloudy.

"What is troubling you Toshio?" She asked calmly.

"How can you know something is troubling me?" He asked curiously.

"Every time you have problems, your inner sky will show symptoms of it. The more clouded your thoughts are the more clouded the sky is over here." She replied.

"I'm having problems at school." He said.

"You're talking about the incident with your teacher?" She asked calmly.

"How can you know?" He was surprised.

"You must remember that I'm always with you." She replied. "The solution to all you problems is in one unanswered question." She told him briefly. "Go and ask your mother. Tell her about the incident in school and by doing so you should force her to talk about other things as well."

"Thank you." He said and disappeared.

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"Mom we need to talk." He said entering her mom's home office. She regained her rank as vice-captain but in a different squad, so she had lots of work.

"Ok lets go to the kitchen and drink some tea while we are at it." She smiled.

A few minutes later they were sitting at the table with tea but her son did not speak.

"So what is troubling you dear?" She asked calmly.

"Mom, there was a strange incident at school and all the kids blame me for it." He began. "During history class my teacher looked at me and began to cry and ran out of the classroom. The whole class thinks it's my fault but I did not do anything to Ms. Hinamori!"

"So your history teacher is Momo Hinamori?" She whispered more to herself than to him. He noticed her eyes got darker and more gloomy. She looked very sad.

"Mom what is it?" He asked worried.

"Nothing." She just shook her head so that he couldn't see her tears. "It wasn't your fault, so just keep your head high."

"But mom! That won't solve the problem!" He yelled at her.

"Just go to your room!" She replied shortly.

But instead he just looked at her and noticed she was holding back tears, he hugged her and she cried.

It took her some time to calm down, but she knew she had to say something to him. That he had the right to know, but it was just so hard…

"Mom who is my father?" He asked taking her by surprise.

She had no other choice, she couldn't run away anymore, in that moment of weakness she whispered the name she swore she would never say "Toshiro Hitsugaya…"

"The captain of the tenth squad?" He asked, and she just nodded. He hugged her again and did not ask anymore. Aisukazetemna was right, that one answered solved all the mysteries.

------------------------------------------

"Does he know?" He asked Karin just before going to school. That morning was very quiet for both of them, Karin had cried all night, and he had analyzed what this new information meant for him.

She just nodded.

"Can I go and meet him?" He asked and saw terror in her eyes. Then he saw more tears… but finally after a minute of silence. "If that is what you wish…" She whispered.

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He hesitated for several days, he did not dare to ask his mother again, and he knew it was a decision he had to make on his own. With that one information everything began making sense. He slowly put the pieces of the puzzle together. He found out his teacher was very ill and that she came out of a very long coma just nine years ago, just before his birth… He knew she was the girlfriend of the tenth Captain. Now he knew that the tenth captain was his father. In the past he had many theories why his mother was alone and he did not have a father, and one of the proved to be right, his father left his mother. In this case for another woman, his teacher Ms. Hinamori. Many elements were still not clear, and still needed to be sorted out, and he knew he could not ask his mother. Not only because she would refuse to answer but also because it would simply hurt her.

He did not know what to think about him. He knew all the gossip, that Captain Hitsugaya is cold as ice, is one of the best shinigamis and is widely respected. He knew that the tenth captain was the youngest person ever to become a shinigami and youngest captain, that he finished the academy just in two or three years.

He knew where the tenth squad quarters were and that going there was just a matter of several minutes. But still he hesitated. Was gaining all that missing information worth a confrontation like that? He decided it was time to talk with his guardian, she always had the best advice.

Aisukazetemna was not surprised to see him. But did time she did not look at him, she just starred over his shoulder into the distance. "What is troubling you now?" She asked.

"Do you think it's a good idea to go and see him?" He asked unsurely.

"What does your heart tell you?" She asked.

"I want to see him… but it would hurt my mother…" He began explaining.

"Your mother is already hurt, she's a strong woman, she managed to survive for nine years so this won't destroy her. She knew this day would come." She told him and walked away. He just stood there looking at her back and making his final decision.


	3. Chapter 3

Toshiro looked at the pile of documents on his desk and tried to call his lieutenant again. But Matsumoto disappeared as usually. He knew that normally he would be able to do this within two or three hours, but recently he could not concentrate. He had problems sleeping and he felt exhausted all the time. Momo asked him several times what was wrong, but she knew it all along. The problem was something he refused to think of for many years… Karin Kurosaki, and now his son. He knew his name was Toshio according to Momo's notes in her office. It so happened that she was his teacher. He tried to ask her several times about him and how he was doing at school, but every time Momo would start crying so instead he read her report on him. The report was good. Even very good. He could see the influence this whole situation had on Momo, and he was sad to hear her crying all the time. But the past was something he could not change. She was always a gentle person, but deep inside she knew she was the reason he could not even meet his own son, the reason his son was without a father, and she couldn't handle it. He wished he wouldn't have to be put in this situation… He wished that instead of running away she would have told him about Toshio… When he was a child everything seemed simple. He would grow up, he would be happy with Momo his best friend, and everything would go perfect. He never took into consideration that Momo would fell in love with her captain, whose cruelty would lead her to lose her senses and fall ill. And he never took into consideration that he would meet someone like Karin, a person full of love, passion, who made him feel the same love and passion within him. And he never took into consideration that he would have to choose between them the day Momo woke up. Seeing it from his present perspective he was not sure he made the right choice… Not because of Toshio, although his existence is also very important, but because he wasn't sure anymore if he loved Momo… If he ever loved her as a girl or woman…

_Not again…_he thought noticing that he was lost in his thoughts again _If this happens more often then they will dismiss me for not doing my work…_ He sighted trying to concentrate on the document in front of him.

He heard a knock on the door. _Maybe it's Matsumoto finally showing up at work… __ "Come in!" _He shouted.

And soon the door shyly opened and in came the last person he was expecting to see.

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Toshio stood in front of the door for at least five or six minutes and still he hesitated. But finally he came to the conclusion that running away won't change anything. He wanted to change a lot of things, and by running away he wouldn't solve anything. He had to do this, and postponing it in time won't change a thing.

He gently knocked and almost immediately was asked in. He shyly walked in looking at the man sitting at the desk and took a seat right in front of him. He did not need to ask if this was his father, it was evident.

The same eyes, the same hair, even the shape of face and build was the same_. Everyone must have noticed I am his son the day I came to the Soul Society _he thought and continued to observe this known but so unknown person. _No wonder they were observing me all the time… No wonder Ms. __Hinamori__ cried because of me…_

-----------------------------------

He watched his son come in and sit down. He looked at him finally seeing him so close, and he could not shake the feeling that he was looking in the mirror. The child was just like him. Even the way he observed him was the same as his father observed him. Analytical, precise, and cold. They continued to stare at each other not saying a word. It felt awkward to both.

Seeing his father for the first time Toshio was surprised with the similarities, he always wondered why he never looked like anyone from the Kurosaki family, he always wondered why his adult relatives were looking at him as if trying to find some similarities between him and his mother… Now he knew the reason why, he simply looked just like his father… Thoughts came crashing into his head… Ms. Hinamori, his mother, his father, his uncle and family… Then he realized he didn't know what he came for… That he forgot all the questions he wanted to ask and things to talk about… _He must think I'm stupid or something just sitting and not saying a word…_ Toshio thought and he felt even worse. _He __probably__ did not want to meet me… __H__e probably never wanted me… He __probably__ never wanted t__o talk with me…_ He looked at the door and decided he didn't want to be grown up anymore, and that he didn't want to solve anything… It was too much…

"Gomenasai!" He cried and ran towards the door.


	4. Chapter 4

"Please wait!" He yelled after him before the boy left the office. But he was fast, and soon he disappeared behind the door, Toshiro did not wait, he ran after him. The boy finally stopped feeling two hands hold him by the shoulders. He refused to look back, so Toshiro came in front of him to face him. He kneeled down to look the boy in the face and was surprised to see tears. The boy was crying because of him. This boy needed him, he suddenly realized. That thought was the impulse to do something he should have done the day Toshio was born, he took the boy into his arms and held him tightly showing all the love for this child he never knew he had within him.

"I'm sorry I didn't want to disturb you, I didn't want Ms Hinamori to cry…" Toshio cried. "I don't want Mom to be sad… It's all my fault!" He cried and held onto his father.

Toshiro did the only thing he could, a thing he could never admit even to himself. "It's not your fault, it's all my fault…" He told the boy. "I'm so sorry…"

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Matsumoto was just coming back from one meeting and was heading towards another. She decided to stop by the office to see if her Taicho had managed to do all the paperwork and to get one more bottle of sake from her stash behind one of the bookshelves. She entered the office without knocking and stood there dumb folded. _Have I drank so much that I'm seeing double?_ She asked herself. But then she took a closer look, one was her Taicho as she left him this afternoon, the other was his version like from when he started his work as her superior.

"Am I interrupting anything Taicho?" She asked stupidly.

"As a matter of fact you are just in time to do your share of the paperwork." The older Toshiro replied while the younger Toshiro glared at her with curiosity and some kind gravity.

"My paperwork? I don't know what you mean Taicho! I just came by to take…" She began explaining hastily. Two pairs of eyes looking coldly at her stopped her in mid sentence.

"You forgot the pile of papers you hid behind the curtains." The older Taicho replied.

"Weren't they your papers?" She replied not totally sure what he meant and hoping he didn't find her other special stashes for papers…

"What about those papers under that table father?" The young Taicho pointed out. _Father?_ Matsumoto thought, _What the hell is going on__! Am I that drunk?! _She noticed in horror.

"Yes those papers too, I'm glad you noticed them Toshio." The older Toshiro replied. "So what are you going to do about them Matsumoto?" He asked his lieutenant.

Matsumoto was still in shock, and the sake she drank before was making her thinking go very slowly… He looked at her two Taichos and decided to do her favorite maneuver, she leapt, grabbed her bottle of sake from behind one of the shelves and with several quick moves she was gone…

_I think this is the right day to stop drinking sake…_ She thought sitting in one of the gardens trying to catch her breath. _Or maybe it's a day to really start drinking… The world has gone mad…_

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Toshiro was watching his son, the boy was smart he had to admit, and he surprised him by proposing his help with the paperwork. He decided it was worth a try, and he was right. The boy learned fast, and by sorting his papers in a new order he made the work go very quickly. He did not want to force him to anything, he still barely knew the child, and was patiently waiting for any symptoms of boredom or tiredness, but Toshio contrary to his expectations was showing a lot of diligence and interest.

Since his breakdown Toshiro did not even try to touch those difficult subject, instead he tried to occupy the mind of the child with something else. He asked about the school and subjects and was surprised to learn that Toshio could give so much information even on very difficult topics like Kido. He asked about his zankaputo and its abilities and was surprised to hear that his zanpakuto thought of itself as the daughter of his Hyorinmaru and Muzumaru.

"What are your plans for tomorrow?" He asked his son.

"I have lesson till three o'clock, then dinner with mom and probably training with Ichiro." The boy replied.

"What would you say that tomorrow I would train with you?" Toshiro asked unsurely.

The boy smiled widely. "I would like that very much father."


	5. Chapter 5

„Where are you going?" She asked her son as he rushed outside just after dinner.

"I have an appointment." Toshio replied. She glared at him questioningly. "With father, he promised to train me." The boy finally replied.

She looked at his in shock but did not stop him. He had the right to spend time with his father even though she did not like it.

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Hinamori watched Toshiro and Toshio from a distance. It was the first time she saw them so close, as father and son should be. Talking, exchanging smiled, discussing battle strategies. She knew the boy was exceptional, not only because he was his son, but because he was a genius just like his father. She could see it every day in class, she would hear comments in the teachers room. He was the best not only from her class, but also from every other. From the moment he gained his zanpakuto his abilities developed very fast, and it was clear to everybody he would advance forward just as fast as both of his parents. She heard a lot about Karin Kurosaki, some even said she was better than her older brother due to perfect control in battle and huge stamina. She was a great instructor for both younger and older kids at the academy, and changed a lot in the Soul Society probably not even knowing it. She heard how many people grief after her supposed death, and she saw the light in Toshiro's eyes die the same day they announced Karin Kurosaki as dead.

Looking at Toshiro smiling at his son she realized she hadn't seen him this happy in years. In many, many years… The last time he smiled like this when they were both children and she was not even in the academy… When she was with Aizen she remembered how depressed he was, but at the time she failed to connect his sadness to her happiness with Aizen. When she woke up from her coma, she thought he was happy… But she was wrong… She could see it clearly now, she hadn't seen him smile in so many years she forgot he could even smile at all. He never smiled during those years… He kind of moved his lips in the moments he was supposed to smile but his eyes remained equally hollow. As if he lost something precious. As if a part of his soul was dead.

She had to face the facts. He wasn't happy with her, although she tied to heal his heart. She thought he had loved her and that's why she wanted to make up for all the sadness she brought to him. But she made a mistake. Trying to comfort a friend sacrificing one own happiness was a mistake. She never loved him like that, she offered it because she thought it was what he wanted and what he deserved from her part. But this boy, this child was living proof that there was someone who was more important in Toshiro's life… She didn't know what to do to fix all the wrong she did, not only to Toshiro but also to this child who deserved to be with his father…

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Toshiro was walking Toshio home, most people seeing them together stopped in shock but soon walked away fast. For some the realization was a surprise, for some simply seeing them together was a shock. They did not mind. Nothing else counted but their connection. It didn't matter that they did not meet before, and that Toshiro was not there when Toshio was a child. All that mattered to them was that they were father and son. And no distance, no time could change that. It was as if they knew each other since the beginning, as if they were a normal family.

Toshiro stopped in front of Karin's house, and waited for Toshio to go in, but before the child opened the door, his mother came out and looked at them both.

"Tea is ready if you would like some." She said not looking at Toshiro, but she didn't have to repeat the invitation twice, both Toshiro and Toshio followed her into the house.


	6. Chapter 6

„So how was your day?" She turned to Toshio as she prepared the tea.

"It was ok, mom." The boy began.

"And how was your training?" She asked. The boy began talking about it with enthusiasm. He described what his father wanted him to do and what were the effects. He kept on talking for long, but his parents did not interrupt him. For them it was more convenient. Toshiro did not know what to say to Karin, and she didn't even dare look at him, not to mention talk.

They drank their tea asking Toshio questions from time to time, but not taking part in the conversation fully. It was awkward to Karin, but she decided to keep at least relations with Toshiro that would arrear to be good, all for the sake of Toshio. Rukia was right. This was what she should do for her son, not for herself, and even if it meant spending some time with him, she would endure it.

Toshiro on the other hand did not know how to explain her sudden invitation, but from the looks of it, he knew this was all he could expect from her. Probably just maintaining appearances in front of family, friends, and more importantly, in front of Toshio. He could understand that, but it would be a lie to say that he wanted it. She probably didn't want it either.

Toshio looked at his parents surprised a bit, he had remained silent for at least one or two minutes and they still hadn't noticed it lost in their own thoughts. He glared from his mother to his father, both sitting as far away from each other as possible, and both clearly not comfortable. If they were to sit like that just for his sake, he wouldn't welcome it.

"Mom I think I should go and do my homework before supper." He suddenly said catching the attention of both his parents. "Later I won't have time to finish it all." He rushed off to his room, leaving his parents dumb folded.

"I should be going…" Toshiro said first time addressing Karin. He said it, he knew he should do it, but he remained seated. He looked at her, and couldn't stop but think that she became even more beautiful. He couldn't stop but think that she was a perfect mother for his son, and that she had raised him better then he would do it being alone. He just couldn't go, this was where he wanted to be, with his son, and with her.

She finally looked at him surprised he was still there, and she noticed him starring at her. She noticed how he was looking at her. And she couldn't easily read the silent plea in his eyes. He didn't want to go, she could feel it. But letting him stay would mean many things… But looking again at him she had to admit, he should go, but she didn't want him to.

"Supper will be ready in one hour, you are welcome to join us if you like…" She finally said it. She looked back at him and saw a wave of happiness cross his face.

"I'll be back in less than one hour then." He said and got up.

--------------------------------

He returned as promised, Toshio was very surprised that he was going to join them, but it was a pleasant surprise. He smiled at his father and began telling him about his old school on Earth and about Mrs. Yamane, as they were eating.

"I haven't told you yet Toshio but Mrs. Yamane will be joining us shortly." Karin suddenly said.

"Is she coming to the Soul Society just like us?" He asked enthusiastically.

"No, Son not like us. I didn't tell you before because I didn't want you to worry, but Mrs. Yamane was already very ill when we left Earth." Karin began explaining totally forgetting that they weren't alone.

"So you meant she is going to die…" Toshio said sadly.

"Death is only a passage." Toshiro suddenly interrupted them. "She will die in that world, but by doing so she will begin a new life in this world."

"So if I am here does that mean I am dead too?" Toshio asked surprised.

"No you are not dead, you are a Shinigami and Shinigami can't die on Earth." Karin explained.

"So how can Mrs. Yamane join us if she isn't a Shinigami?" Toshio added all the facts together.

"I'm already talked to Captain Yamanato and he agreed that she entered Seireitei to join us." Karin announced.

The boy smiled happily.

The meal passed surprisingly quickly, at least for Toshiro. Conversing with Toshio and Karin was interesting, and time passes very quickly when you want it to last. Before he knew it Toshio excused himself again to go and finish all his homework, and he and Karin were alone again. She got up and bean cleaning the table as if in a hurry to leave him and go to the kitchen, but he did not let her. He got up as well and helped her with the dishes. She just looked at him in surprise but did not comment. For her the evening was surprisingly nice, and in some moments she almost forgot it wasn't a normal every day meal of a happy normal family. But a meal between three people, one who happened to be the son of the other two, and the other who happened to be ex-lovers and currently strangers.

For a moment there she wished it was true, that stupid dream of hers. For a moment she wished he would stay, there with them. And all the grief from the past, and all the pain, sorrow, tears and hurt were simply forgotten. For a moment she forgot he was about to leave to go home to another woman, to the woman he chose above her.

She turned away from him and looked out the window at the dark sky. She closed her eyes and wish that when she opened them he would already be gone. Because that was the only way he won't notice the tears falling down her cheeks like crazy…

She suddenly felt warm arms embrace her tightly from behind. And a soft whisper into her ear. "Don't cry…" He told her quietly. "I'm the one who should be crying for losing the two people who I love most… I'm sorry…"

He gently turned her around and she dug her face into his chest and held on to him tightly. She cried all her pain, all her sorrow and fears, and he held her tightly trying to show her just how sorry he was for all the wrong he did to her and their child.


End file.
