Glee 1. Chapter I

_Title: Traces in the Sand_

_Written by: lacksubstance_

_Rating: M_

_Summary: Quinn Fabray is a twenty two year old, happily married to Noah Puckerman. They have a four year old daughter. After her pregnancy, he shaved the Mohawk, dropped the rock star lifestyle, and enlisted into the military. There he befriends Santana Lopez, a mysterious female, who doesn't realize just how significant she will become to the Puckerman family._

…

**SOMEWHERE IN THE MIDDLE EAST—0600**

Noah Puckerman sits outside on his makeshift spot. The sun isn't even peeking out of the horizon as his boots kick in the sand. He holds a picture in between his fingertips, looking at the back every now and then with a letter in the other hand.

_Be safe out there. We miss you xoxo_

—_You're Two Favorite Angels_

He smiles as he looks over it with who are indeed his two favorite people in the entire world, his four year old daughter and beautiful wife. How he got so lucky so early still blew him away. He didn't originally see it that way though.

Getting Quinn pregnant wasn't even something he meant for to happen. He wanted to just sleep with the most popular girl in their high school—the forbidden fruit as he and his teammates would call it. So when word came out that she was pregnant he couldn't just not be there; he couldn't be like his father.

When she was pregnant, he did everything he could to be there for her, even got a job at a pizza place, washing dishes, which sucked ass. He stopped flirting with other girls, without even realizing it—it was then that he realized he actually loved Quinn and that was when he decided he had to keep her. It wasn't until she gave birth to Beth that he proposed to her and she surprisingly said yes.

They married after they graduated high school and he just knew he couldn't provide a balanced life for his family washing dishes, so he ditched his Mohawk without telling Quinn and when she saw him bald, it was when he told her he enlisted. She was pissed and upset at first, even smacked him, but she understood why he did it. Now they have a better life than he could ever imagine—only downside was being away from them.

"What you doing out here Puckerman?" He turned his head to the raspy female voice. She's pulling her dark hair into a tight pony, walking over to him tiredly.

She sat down next to him, resting her knees up to her chin. She plucks the picture out of his hands and smiles, before turning it over to look at the small message written in neat handwriting.

"That was taken during her fourth birthday over the weekend," he points to the little blonde next to his beautiful wife. They both had frosting on the tips of their noses. He smiles because he's glad they're happy, but upset that he couldn't be there to celebrate with them.

"I can't believe it's been a year," she sighs, handing it back to him. He grabs it softly, placing it back in his pocket by his chest—like they're close to his heart and to protect him through anything.

"Yeah I know. I'm just waiting for them to give the orders that we can go home," he states as she nods in agreement. "What you gonna do when you get home San?" He asks curiously. As long as they've known each other, having gone through basic with one another, he felt like he didn't know much about her. She always said her life wasn't interesting enough to talk about, so they never did.

Santana shrugs. "I don't even know. Hibernate, I guess," she smirks and he laughs, pushing her slightly, making her laugh fully.

"Nah man, you'll come with me. I want you to meet my girls," he said, patting her shoulder. She raises her eyebrows questionably.

"Does your wife have a sister?" She jests and he rocks back in his seat, smiling widely just as their sergeant comes out.

"Lopez, Puckerman! Let's get ready to move out! We leave at 0700 hours!" He yells and they stand up quickly, saluting him to let them know they heard him. He turns away to give the rest of his men and women the same warning.

They watch him walk away and begin to move over towards their belongings to pack everything up. He leans over to Santana's ear. "She does actually, but I don't think you could handle her. You'd have a better chance with my wife than her," he says returning her smirk, walking in front of her and she shakes her head.

"Sounds like that's a challenge bro," she adds as he turns around, shrugging obviously, before turning away to walk to the tents and set everything up.

…

Santana carries her rifle in hand as they walk among the dusty ground. She's surrounded by a bunch of big men, bulky and just tall, but she held her weight. Anytime they gave her hell, she'd jump on top of them and take them to the ground—playfully of course. It was nothing serious though; they were her family, especially Puckerman—who just goes by Puck. He's a good guy, even though she thought they'd just butt heads. They were actually kind of similar, only not when it came to the outside world.

Being in the Middle East was a whole other universe. It's like being in seclusion and for Santana, she was thankful to have everyone she loved and cared about here. She didn't have a family to come back to or to miss, so in an eerie way, she hoped out of all her platoon members—she hoped she went first, if it came down to it; though she never told anyone that.

Puck; however was her closest friend, next to Finn. He was from Colorado and they met at the airport—Puck she actually met the first day of basic—he's from Ohio. Santana was born and raised in California.

They didn't expect any attacks today, but the problem was they never do. It was just routine to always move camp every two days to keep the enemy off course. The worst thing about the Middle East is that the climate was so fucking bipolar—during the days it's hotter than Satan's ass and during the night it's colder than the Arctic; at least for a California girl that's how it felt.

"All right troupe! Keep a look out," Sergeant Shuester states and they just keep walking along the makeshift path as the sun beats down on their layered bodies.

Santana's boots push through the thin sand as Puck walks next to her, sweat pouring off their bodies. "At least my wife will dig my awesome tan when I get home," he jests and she chuckles at his stupidity.

"What are you talking about? She won't even recognize you. You're blacker than I am," Puck mouth gaps open and he teases, brushing his gloved fingers together.

"Tisk tisk, you racist bitch,"

…

It took a total of four hours for them to make camp on the other side of the mountains. The sun was at its worst as Puck and her finished setting up a tent that Puck and Finn will sleep in. Santana sleeps in the same tent as one of the female soldiers—basic orders and rules. Santana didn't mind though, she thought the girl she shared her space with was kind of sexy—blonde and brown eyed. She is someone you wouldn't normally picture in the military, but that was the point—Santana loved it.

Santana let out a huff and finally pulled her shirt over her head, exposing her sports bra and tight abs. "It's too fucking hot for this shit," she grumbles as Puck follows it suit. Most guys look at Santana when she gets rid of her shirt, but not Puck—he looks at her like his sister and he loved her, but not like that. He couldn't deny she was hot and he tells her so, but he couldn't stare at her like she was a piece of meat, especially because he was married and she loved females.

"You got that right. Might as well get tan all over—well from the waist up. I'd hate for your lady loins to get going from all this," he suggestively uses his hands for emphasis on his lower pelvic region. Santana looks at him like he's lost his mind, but decides to humor him.

"Oh yes, I'd get so fucking turned on when I see that, but I think you should be more careful about your own lady loins," she simply replies, lowering her pants just a little to expose her backside. Puck's eyes widen for just a moment, before Santana pulls them back up and rolls her eyes.

"I can't believe you just did that man," he says. "I'm a married man!"

"Whatever dude, you need to get laid though," she says in all seriousness and he nods frantically.

"Yeah you fucking think? I miss the way my wife could get me going," he states, fixing a tie on the tent, while pushing the peg further into the ground. "You know she was a virgin before me?" He asks curiously, but didn't look up at her.

"Yup—good wholesome Christian girl, saving herself for marriage," he adds, finally before meeting her eyes. She was looking down at him, her muscles glistening in the blistering sun.

"What happened? You're not worth the breaking of that commitment buddy," she jests, patting his rock solid chest. He rolls his eyes, knowing she's just trying to get a rise out of him. That's their relationship though—always goofing off and giving each other hard times.

"She got drunk at a party and I was the man whore. It just happened and I was planning to just 'hump and dump', so to speak and when she came to me that she was pregnant—I took on my responsibilities," he explains and she sighs deeply, sitting down on the sand.

"You're a good guy Puck," she tells him truthfully as he breaths out a huff, sitting down next to her. "You are and I know I give you shit, but you're like my brother and I love you,"

"Don't get sappy on me you fucker, please!" He jests and she pushes him hard so he lands on the sand.

"Fuck you dude! I'm trying to be nice here," he laughs from his spot on the ground and she smiles down at him. She knew he appreciated her words, but they never were conventional.

Silence fills within them, but around them voices echo from their fellow platoon members, having finished their own assignments to set up their own camps.

"Hey San," she turns her attention to him and he smiles warmly at her. "I love you too," he adds softly and she looks away, back down at the sand.

"Lopez! Puckerman!" They stand up at attention as Sergeant Shuester approaches them with papers in his hand. They salute him and he salutes them back. "I got instructions to inform you both that you'll be on leave by Friday," he tells them and they look at him with their eyes faltering a little.

"Sir—," Puck speaks first, wanting him to say directly what he's telling them.

"It's time for you two to go home for visitation, but you report back here in three weeks. So go home, rest in your beds, fuck your wife Puckerman, and give your daughter love," he says, walking away from them and they fall from their attention.

Santana turns to him and looks at him kind of sadly. She was happy for him, but this was her escape from reality. She enlisted so she didn't have to be home—she actually hated her life, but she didn't need to tell anyone else that. It would open more of a discussion and she didn't like being asked questions about her life in such depth.

"Puck I'm so hap—,

"Come home with me," Puck cuts her off with his eyes lit brightly with a breathless smile. She gaps her mouth open, before shaking her head.

"No—no I couldn't man. That's' your time with your family," she insisted and he places his hands on both sides of her shoulders.

"San I want you to meet them. I _need_ you to meet them," he presses, which confuses her. He wasn't making much sense, but who was she to tell him no she couldn't meet his family? Besides, she wanted to meet the woman he loved and the little girl they created from a drunken hookup, turned romance.

She smiles softly, nodding. "All right fine, I'll come with you," he smiles widely and fist pumps in excitement, walking off to tell everyone else about the good news.

She watched him walk away a little confused. Something didn't feel right to her and it was making her stomach queasy. She continued to watch him walk around telling everyone he passed; she bit her bottom lip, trying to stomach the thought of meeting them. She didn't know why she was so nervous, but she wanted Quinn and Beth to accept and like her.

_No pressure, Santana._

* * *

**I wasn't sure how to start this per say, so I figured this chapter was going to be a short introductory to the story itself. Don't worry the chapters will be longer and the updates will not take forever. I really have all my ideas outlined, so hopefully with enough feedback, people will keep checking back. For now this is a Puck/Quinn story, but it will develop to something more. Anyway, this is also my Day 7 for Quinntana Week. I'm sorry it took so long! **


	2. Chapter II

**Before you read, I want to make this clear that this story is Quinntana endgame. For now though, it's Quick. It won't always be that way, so just be a little patient. Till then, I want to thank you guys for the reviews and amazing feedback. I'll keep writing when I can and I hope you guys enjoy this larger chapter. If you need to reach me or anything, best way to do that is through Tumblr and that's it.**

**Sam - (lacksubstance . tumblr . com) **

* * *

_Chapter II_

**PORT COLUMBUS OHIO INTERNATIONAL AIRPORT – SATURDAY 0800**

After being on a flight for almost fourteen hours, both Puck and Santana were glad to finally be off the plane. They walked through the airport dressed in their immaculate uniforms, stopping some in their tracks to stare at them whether it is appreciatively or merely out of respect they didn't care to notice.

Puck told Santana that he's grown up in Ohio and never really wanted to leave. He loved it here, but at the same time, he hated the small town life, so they moved to Columbus to give Beth and Quinn a better life and opportunity to do more.

Quinn apparently was finishing up law school, according to him. He said that she was always the brains of their relationship, stating he was stupid enough to join the military after all. Santana could see though that Puck cared for his family. She knew that enlisting wasn't his dream, but like all small town people, they feel their only way out is enlisting.

They walked through their terminal with their duffels in tow as Puck found them a taxi. The last thing he wanted was to tell Quinn to come get them, when she was preparing for his homecoming.

_Puck paces in the sand forcing dust clouds to come up around his feet. He anticipates his wife answering the phone so he can tell her of the good news. He knew it was probably roughly five thirty in the morning there, but he just couldn't wait any longer._

"_Hey baby," a tired voice comes through the speaker and he tightens his eyes to hold back his tears. Puck wasn't much for expressing his feelings, but when it came to Quinn he just couldn't help it. _

_The rasp in her voice showed she was in fact sleeping, but she sounded like she didn't mind since they didn't get to talk much being that he is on missions and such, but they try. "Hey," his voice wavers just a tad and as Santana watches the interaction from a small distance, she can't help the way her heart tightens for them._

"_What's going on?" She asks—Santana can hear her voice too. She found herself sort of liking the way it sounded; definitely fit the woman in the picture, she thought. Puck was a lucky man and she knew that he felt the same way._

_He lets out a shaky breath, wiping his tears away with his bare forearm. "I'm coming home baby," he smiles into the phone and suddenly there's some rustling coming through from the other end to signal Quinn was moving around in her bed, trying to position herself better._

"_Seriously? Don't you lie to me Noah Puckerman?" She asks; tiredness forgotten as she warns him with a stern tone. Santana smirks as she looks down at the orange sand. _

"_I'm not baby; I'm coming home and I'm bringing Santana with me. You remember her, right? I want you and Beth to meet her," he says as he chances a glance over in the tan girl's direction. She looks up at the mention of her name, nerves pulling at her stomach._

"_Yeah I remember," she says quietly—pausing for a beat, which scared the shit out of Santana. "I want to meet her too," she finally adds, letting Santana breathe a little easier. Puck looks over at her and nods with a tight lipped smile, trying to keep his emotions at bay._

"_We fly back Friday and should be in Saturday. Get everyone together and we'll party it up," Santana rolls her eyes at this—_there's the Puckerman I know.

"_Whatever you say, but we're keeping it G-rated. Beth doesn't need to know about any of that until she's thirty," Quinn jests and he chuckles softly agreeing—Santana agreed silently too. She didn't know the little girl, but she still felt like she needed to protect her too._

"_I'll be home soon. I love you so much," he finally wraps up the call and hangs up, looking over at Santana who has her arms folded as she leans against one of their jeeps. _

"_We're going home man," she says as he comes up to her and scoops her into his arms. She wraps her legs around his waist as he circles her around, making her laugh hysterically._

"_We're going home!" He yells in triumph._

They ride in the taxi for no more than thirty minutes until finally coming up to Puck's street. Santana knew this because of all the cars loaded up in their driveway and along their street. Santana suddenly grew even more nervous. It wasn't just Puck's wife and daughter, but practically his entire family and friends. She never strived for anyone's approval before, but Puck is all she has and she didn't need anyone that is in Puck's life hating her.

They split the cab fair, pulling their bags out with them letting the driver go on his way. Everyone was out in the backyard and just as Santana got ready to walk up to the front door, Puck places his hand on her shoulder.

"They'll love you as much as I do," he says sincerely, pulling the top part of his uniform off. "It's too fucking hot for this shit," he grumbles folding it up. She follows in suit, taking her own off, leaving them in just the dark green shirts and cameo pants, finishing it off with their black boots, before walking the rest of the way to the front.

He opens the door and pops his head in, surveying the area just enough to see his wife nursing a wine glass and chatting with one of their friends. Santana took sight of her and was in awe of her beauty. The picture didn't do her justice—she was much prettier in person. She really thought now; even more so, that Puck was a very lucky man.

He drops his duffle down loud enough and Santana sees Quinn divert her eyes to the inside of the house. It's only then that she sees them and asks her friend to hold her glass. She opens the screen door, before rushing over to them.

She jumps into Puck's arms, wrapping him tightly into a hug, before placing a deep kiss on his lips. She would've given more—Santana knew she had more in her to give, but she silently thanked them for not continuing further.

"I missed you so much," she whispers into his ear, before kissing the side of his neck.

"I missed you too baby mama," he exclaims as she shakes her head at the nickname he gave her back in high school. Santana knew the story of how that nickname came up and how much Quinn hated being called that, so he only does it to annoy her.

She finally turns her attention to Santana. "I don't know how you put up with him," she jests, placing her hand on his chest as he wraps his arm securely around her waist.

"I don't know, but at least I can give him back. You're stuck with him," Santana replies, making Quinn bust out laughing hysterically while Puck just shakes his head in shame.

"You'll fit right in. I'm Quinn by the way," she holds her hand out for Santana to take. She firmly grasps the other woman's hand, taking notice of how soft it is.

"Santana Lopez," she replies back, nodding—accidentally getting lost in Quinn's hazel eyes. She knew she was in trouble the moment she laid eyes on her.

"All right enough eye fucking you too, where's my munchkin?" Quinn slaps him in the back of the head and Santana was thankful no one saw her embarrassed expression.

"Daddy!" accompanied by little frantic footsteps, prevent Quinn from telling him off. He picks up the little blonde in his arms. He hugs her tightly and Santana was in awe of just how well mixed she is of the two—she was a beautiful four year old, who will be a heartbreaker when she's older. Santana was right about needing to protect her from all the boys—_possibly girls too._

"Hey Munchkin," he smiles widely as she places her hands on her hips.

"I'm not a munchin daddy. I'm four now," she states, eyeing him with that one raised eyebrow. Santana didn't know Quinn very well, but she knew that had to be a Quinn expression because she's never seen Puck do it.

"Oh I'm sorry, my mistake," he apologizes, before turning them to Santana. Quinn was easy, but kids are the deal breakers when it came to liking someone—she's thinking she just may be fucked now. "Beth this is my best friend Santana. She is in the army with daddy, so say hi," he introduces them and Santana smiles at the way Puck interacts with Beth, but more so at the little girl. She wasn't the greatest with kids, but she tried and always managed to win them over eventually.

Beth looks at her for a moment, before finally speaking up. "Have you ever killed anything?" All three adults' eyes widen at that—_no hello; just straight to asking such an open question._

"Beth," Quinn scolds her with a warning, getting ready to turn and apologize to Santana for her behavior, only to have Santana hold her hand up for a second.

"No, no it's okay," she adds to her gesture, before directing her attention to the little girl. "I will tell you I did drown my goldfish once," she says, lowering her duffle and shirt finally to the ground, getting much more comfortable now.

Beth looks at her confused for a moment, even Quinn chances a look at Puck to see where this is going. "But—you can't drown a goldfish," Beth says with a little giggle at the end and Santana looks at her baffled.

"Are you sure?" She retorts, placing her hands on her hips and Beth giggles, nodding.

"Uh huh—they live in the water already," Santana looks away in a fake pondering motion. She sighs, shaking her head.

"Well I trust you, but if that's the case, then no I haven't killed anything," she finally states while Beth smiles at her. "Unless you're not set on your answer,"

Beth starts laughing loudly. "Noooo you can't drown a goldfish," she whines out, almost as if to say Santana was hopeless.

Santana laughs in return, holding her hands up. "All right fair enough Smarty," she chances a look at her parents and sees them smiling at the interaction, before Puck places her down.

"Okay Little Miss, go out and play while I get Santana situated in the guest room," he states to Beth, who salutes him playfully before running off. He then turns to Quinn and leans forward to kiss her on the lips one last time. "Tell everyone we'll be out in a minute," he adds, before picking up his belongings as does Santana.

"You better hurry. Jake is starting the burgers," she warns him and he nods quickly before escorting Santana to the room.

"Why is that a problem dude?" Santana questions since she knew Jake was Puck's younger half brother. She only heard good things about him and this seemed to be an unspoken thing that she just wasn't getting.

"Nigga knows I make the best burgers in the Puckerman clan,"

…

Santana and Puck step out in the back immediately attracting attention. Puck's guests walk over to them and hug, kiss, fist bump; anything you could imagine that shows they're excited he's home. Santana felt highly uncomfortable with the attention, even if it was mostly on Puck.

"Guys this is my good friend Santana. She and I met in basic and she's been my B since," Santana hides her blushing, thankful Puck was smart enough to censor what he really wanted to call her. She punches him in the shoulder and he holds it laughing.

"Hey nice to meet everyone," she gives an awkward wave, before Puck runs to the grill to push his brother out of the way so he can take over. She watches everything happening around her, assessing the situation like any soldier would. Though she wasn't on a mission, she's always been one to people watch—figure out what makes each person tick, before jumping into a conversation or taking action.

She suddenly feels her pants leg being tugged. She looks down and sees Beth, so she squats down to her level to give her undivided attention. "Will you come and play with me?" She asks and Santana looks around and sees everyone else occupied, before turning back to the little blonde.

She smiles warmly, showing off her single dimple. "Sure, you know if you keep this up, you may just replace your dad's place in the best buddy department," she tells her, making Beth jump up in excitement as Santana leaned back up, letting Beth drag her over to her toys on the other side of the yard, but not letting it go unnoticed by Quinn, who smiles widely attracting a brunette's attention.

"So that's the famous Santana huh?" Her friend says, bringing her cup to her lips, eyeing Santana and Beth sitting down on the grass as Santana lets Beth set everything up.

"Yup—it's strange because Beth is never like this with anyone so soon," she tells her and her friend nods in agreement.

"Yes I'm well aware. I was there from day one and the first thing she did when she was in my arms was spit up on me," her friend points out and Quinn looks down giggling.

"My daughter has a good judge of character, Rach," she bumps Rachel with her side pushing her to roll her eyes at her.

Santana starts making a fort with Beth's blocks as Beth makes a little mote around it so her little figures couldn't get through. Santana liked the way Beth's mind worked at such a young age—her creativity was pretty spot on and her plan kind of reminded her of the military, so she was all for it.

"So, you happy that your daddy is home?" Santana didn't know why she decided to strike up a conversation with her, but she didn't want to keep things quiet.

Beth nods, distracted as she continues to make her mote, adding rocks along the side. "I don't like when he goes away. Mommy doesn't either; she cries all the time," she tells Santana, which she could understand. There were plenty of people out there that she's met in the same situation as Puck—but hearing that Quinn gets really upset kind of makes her a little sick to the stomach. She looks over to where she knew Quinn was before, not realizing that they'd lock eyes instantly. Quinn has a faint smile on her face and Santana just immediately looks away from her gaze, growing hot.

"How do you know?" Santana finally returns back to her conversation with Beth, who continues to look down inspecting her work.

"I can hear her. She says my daddy's name and yells things like he's here," she looks up finally and my eyes widen—_okay not what I was thinking._ Santana clears her throat, growing extremely uncomfortable. She looks back up over by Quinn, who is no longer there, then looks over to the grill as Puck schools Jake on how to cook a good burger. She bites her lip, taking a deep breath.

"Hey, why don't you finish up and I'll be right back, okay?" Santana says and Beth nods, before she gets up and jogs over to Puck, only hearing a side of their conversation.

"Whatever man, you will never understand that the grease is what makes the burger delicious," Puck says and Jake just rolls his eyes.

"Yes but it's also the part that causes heart disease," he points out and Santana raises her eyebrows, patting Puck's shoulder.

"He's got a valid point buddy," she says and Jake holds his hands out to Puck, while he holds a beer in one of them.

"Fuck that man, I dodge bullets for a living," he says, flipping his burger over as Santana and Jake exchange looks, but choose not to respond to him.

"I don't think we've been properly introduced, I'm Jake and you must be Santana," he says and she shakes his free hand. "That lovely woman over there is my girlfriend Marley," he points out and Santana nodded in approval.

"Well it's nice to meet the other Puckerman. Although, I have to say I may just prefer you," she jests and he fist pumps—_glad something is similar. _

"It's because you're part black dude," he says to his brother and Jake looks at him, shaking his head in shock.

"Tisk tisk you racist bitch," she says to Puck who just chuckles at her reference. "But I came over here to tell you that Quinn needs you," Puck turns his attention to her somewhat confused.

"What do you mean? She just went to grab her potato salad and some paper plates. She can handle that—my woman is HBIC," he says with a smile and Santana leans into his ear, whispering what Beth told her and his eyes widen. "For real?" Santana nods with a smirk on her face. "Well should I go now?"

"A year has been quite awhile, even for us females," Puck looks at her for a moment longer before nodding in agreement, handing the spatula to Jake.

"Don't fuck up my burgers," he warns him before running inside to find Quinn. He sees her cutting up fruit and he smiles, coming up behind her, wrapping his arms around her. She leans into his embrace with a content smile, before he starts kissing down her neck, just under her ear.

"What are you doing?" She questions him just as he nips on her pulse point. She gasps and he smiles into her neck, lowering his hands down to her backside, giving it a firm squeeze. "Babe we have guests," she whispers to him.

"They can wait—it's been a year baby and I know how much you miss me," he whispers into her ear, bringing his hands towards the front of her sundress, slipping one underneath to cup her sex. She groans, placing the knife down and turns around.

"Fine—fine, but we're being quick," she says urgently, walking around him, pulling him with her to their bedroom as he smiles that devilish smile.

…

Thirty minutes later, Puck and Quinn come back outside and only Santana can smirk as she watches them fixing themselves secretly. She was just glad that they got to make up a little bit for the year they've lost. She was pretty proud to know that she had something to do with it, but of course she wasn't going to gloat—this was their time.

"Santa!" She turns around at the sound of Beth's voice as she takes a sip of her beer.

"What's up Smarty?" She kneels down to her level like before as Beth pouts at her, before pointing her fingers over by Jake and who she assumes is Ryder—he's Jake's best friend and they pretty much never leave each other's side, according to Puck.

"They think that daddy can't beat them in basketball and daddy said he'll play if you play," Santana turns to Puck who has sauntered over to her. Beth has crossed her arms over her chest and she knew that look on her face was definitely not Puck's—her expressions are much more intimidating.

"Oh really, now did your daddy tell you to have me play?" Santana asked turning to face him as he looks around the backyard, trying not to meet her eyes.

"Uh huh," Beth nods and she stands back up, sighing deeply before turning to Puck. She slaps him across the chest, before agreeing to play. Beth jumps up in excitement and they walk over to Jake and Ryder.

By this time, they've attracted attention of the rest of their guests as Quinn takes the burgers off the grill and places hotdogs on there. She walks over to her friends, Rachel, her girlfriend Brittany, Tina, Marley, Quinn's sister, Fran and Kat; also known as Kitty.

"Oh this will be interesting," she grumbles to them as they sip from their wine glasses. It's only then that Puck pulls his shirt off and Santana follows that their eyes widen and their grips tighten around the glasses.

"Oh shit, I need to join the military," Brittany comments as her eyes scan up and down Santana's body. They all shake their heads in amazement of the dips on her hips and the flex of her abs as she breathes.

"You have a girlfriend Britt," Quinn comments, not tearing her eyes away from the game and Brittany finally looks over at her, noticing the way her friend keeps her eyes forward. She smirks, leaning forward and whispers.

"And you have a husband," Quinn turns her head quickly to meet Brittany's teasing gaze.

"And my husband is over there!" She points with a slight laugh behind her response and Brittany shrugs nonchalantly, before taking another sip of her wine.

"Well I for one don't have a husband or girlfriend, or even a boyfriend for that matter, so I can drool all I want," Kitty says as she licks her lips watching the way Santana maneuvers around Ryder, before shooting into the basket with ease.

"Hold up time out! I gotta check on our food!" Puck breaths out, before running to the grill to turn the hotdogs, so they will cook fully through. This prompts Santana to walk over to the table all the girls are migrated around to take a sip of her beer. They watch her dip it back as sweat glistens on her skin—Santana completely unaware of their leering eyes.

When she reopens them and puts it back down, they all smile at her friendly. Quinn rolls her eyes at her friends, before speaking up. "Santana, these are my girlfriends, Rachel and Brittany, Marley, Tina, Fran and Kat," she introduces them and Santana nods.

"You can call me Kitty though," Kitty speaks up, biting her bottom lip and leaning forward, hoping Santana gets a good look, but Santana didn't bite. Instead she accepted her handshake and winks.

"I'll remember that," she whispers only loud enough for her to hear. "Puck promised me a sister though," she adds turning her attention back to Quinn. Her eyes widen at the request, but she tries to remind herself that she'll have to slap Puck later.

"Oh yeah—I'm her sister, Kitty Fabray," Kitty speaks up and Quinn shakes her head, slightly amused.

Santana raises one eyebrow curiously. "Actually Santana, her last name is Wilde—no relation," Quinn retorts, giving Kitty a death glare. She just shrugs her shoulders to show she didn't care nor was she going to stop trying to flirt with the military woman.

"Well I'm Brittany—Fabray," Rachel looks over at her girlfriend in shock as she fumbles to try and get her hand out to reach Santana's.

"No no—I'm Rachel Fabray," she smiles proudly, forcing Brittany to give her a dirty look.

"Oh—okay," Santana says slowly and finally turns to Quinn for assistance, who finally helps her out much to her amusement of her horny friends.

"Pierce and Berry—again no relations," she points to them both and Santana sighs deeply, regretting this whole sister thing now. The last thing she wanted was for these girls to get so crazy with her, even though she's not entirely sure of what she did.

Santana looks over at Tina and Marley, who are trying to decide if they should come forward, causing a highly uncomfortable situation before Tina lets out a deep breath. "Okay, okay—I'm Tina Fabray," she holds her hand to her chest.

"You're Asian!" Kitty yells at her and Tina looks over at her, narrowing her eyes even lower to the point where no one can tell if she's closed them or not.

"I'm adopted!" She screams back and Quinn holds her hands up to get the yelling to stop.

"Okay no, no, and no," Quinn says pointing to them and they silence their pointless argument, then turns to Santana, who's looking on strangely. "Tina Cohen-Chang—no relation," she finally says with an exhausted sigh.

"I'm Fran Fabray, nice to meet you," she holds her hand out for Santana to take. She hesitates at first, but finally leans forward and accepts it with a smile. She stares at Fran for a moment, assessing her physical attributes, before turning her attention to Quinn with a smile.

"This is your sister," she states rather than questions and Quinn eyes her curiously, before turning away and changing the subject.

"I got to bring out the fruit salad, then I think we'll be set to eat," Quinn tells them as she walks back inside. Santana releases Fran's hand, following Quinn inside. She takes the bowl of fruit off the counter for her, much to Quinn's protest, stopping Quinn in her tracks to watch her in almost fascination.

"How did you know?" Santana stops right before the door and turns to Quinn's voice. "That she was my sister. It could have been Marley," she says and Santana looks down, taking a deep breath.

"I already knew Fran was your sister the moment I saw her," she confessed and Quinn looks at her confused. "You both are too beautiful not to be related," she adds, before walking back outside, ready to finally eat.


	3. Chapter III

**Hey I'm sorry this is so late. I have a lot going on at home at the moment, my grandmother is dying of cancer and it's taking a toll on our entire family since she lives with us and I still work. I'm trying to focus on everything and still keep writing for you guys. Though this chapter is a little bit shorter than the last one, I still wanted to give you guys something and not leave you hanging. I want to thank you all very much for the reviews, favors, and alerts. I appreciate them all so much. I love you guys and I am going to keep writing no matter what happens at my home. So anyway, enjoy the chapter as much as possible. It's kind of a filler, but it lets you get some insight on Puck's thoughts and a little bit of Quinn's, as well as Santana's. Anyway, enjoy and I'll have the next chapter up as soon as I can.**

* * *

_Chapter III_

**COLUMBUS, OHIO –SUNDAY: 0600**

Quinn awoke from her sleep to the sound of voices. The sun hasn't even come out yet and as she took in her surroundings she realized the other side of her bed is empty. She touches it and it's cold, which means Puck's been up for awhile now.

She lets a sound out from her throat, rubbing at her eyes tiredly, before advancing out of the room. She ruffles her hair, just as she catches sight of Puck and Santana in the kitchen. Her eyes widen and she quickly turns back, fixing her hair in the hallway—she just wasn't used to the company being at her home; it didn't matter if her friends from years ago, her husband, and her daughter saw her looking like that.

When she felt she was more presentable, she walks in with a tired smile, leaning over to kiss Puck's cheek. "Hey did we wake you?" Santana looks up from her coffee mug and Quinn nods offhandedly at her question.

"I'm sorry," she apologizes before throwing a rag at Puck. "I told you we were being too loud," she adds in a hushed tone, not wanting Beth to wake up from their noise next. It lands him square in the face and he laughs softly, before placing it down on the counter, choosing not to respond.

"Why are you two up so early anyway?" Quinn yawns out, pouring herself a cup of coffee, glancing between the two of them.

"We're just used to getting up early, plus it's already the afternoon where we were stationed," Santana says for the both of them as Quinn looks down at her mug, pouring some creamer into it. Santana tries to keep their eye contact basically nonexistent after her comment. She knows it's kind of hit Quinn a little off guard and she didn't want Quinn nor Puck for that matter, to think she was going to overstep anything and get in the middle of their marriage.

"Keep it down for now at least until Beth gets up please," she says and both the military personal nod, before she walks back to her bedroom. They turn their attention back to one another and Puck eyes Santana curiously.

"So Quinn says you called her beautiful yesterday," he challenges behind his mug, before sipping it. Santana freezes, feeling her entire body grow an extra alcove higher. She feels kind of embarrassed to say the least. She should've known there was no secrets in their marriage—they've been together long enough; been through enough to come to that conclusion.

"It's okay man," he chuckles softly. "She is—it's nice to let her be reminded of that by someone else," he adds and Santana looks at him confused. Any other man would've punched her in the face for thinking that way about their girlfriend or wife. Puck's a different kind of guy—better than anyone she's ever met.

"She has had a rough time with her self love, so even when I try to tell her how beautiful she is, she doesn't believe it. I agree that she is the most beautiful woman in the entire world, so I'm not the least bit upset or jealous that you told her that, and I told her the same thing," he says and Santana feels her entire body relax at his explanation and she decides to take a sip of her coffee some more to hide her smile—just as Puck does the same, to hide his frown.

"I'm going to lay down for a little bit longer," she says finishing her cup of coffee, placing the mug in the sink before kissing his cheek. "Thank you for everything," she whispers, before walking back into her room, leaving him deep in thought.

_It's a little after ten thirty, while Beth has been asleep for a few hours now, Quinn and Puck are just about to head to sleep. Santana called it an early night herself right after Beth went to bed, so it just left Quinn and Puck to be together—they figured that was the girl's plan when she decided to go to bed at eight thirty. _

_Quinn shuts the lamp off just as she normally does, letting Puck wrap his arms around her. She never felt better with him there again—she just hated the idea that she can only enjoy three weeks of this._

"_You know Santana called me beautiful today," she whispered into the dark room. The only light shining between the blind shades belonged to the moon. Quinn wasn't the least bit offended by Santana's comment; if anything, she was actually quite flattered._

"_Well you are beautiful babe. I tell you that all the time," he responds, kissing her bare shoulder and she smiles softly at his affection. If you told her Noah Puckerman was going to be this fantastic and affectionate husband of hers, that she'd love and adore years ago, she would've laughed in your face._

"_No—I know, I just didn't know how you'd react to someone else calling me that," she says turning on her back to look up at him and he smiles warmly at her. _

"_Are you flattered by her honesty?" He asks offhandedly and she looks up at him confused, tilting her head, then shrugging with a nod. "Then why does it matter to me? If it makes you feel better hearing someone else call you beautiful and it makes you believe it because it's someone you don't really know, then I'm happy. Shit it makes me feel pretty damn lucky because people know my wife is beautiful," he explains more thoroughly and she cups his cheek with her hand, pulling him down for a soft kiss._

"_I love you Noah," she tells him softly and he pecks her lips again._

"_I love you too Baby Mama," he smirks and she rolls her eyes, swatting him in his bare chest. He scoffs, before letting out a chuckle. _

_She turns on her side again and he lays on his back, looking up at the bare ceiling. His left arm is propped under his head as he lays there deep in thought. He hates the idea of leaving his family again in three weeks—especially when there's a chance things could be different this time around. He could get injured or worse—die. If he left this earth, he wanted to make sure his family was taking care of. He knew if he tried having this conversation with Quinn, she'd blow up at him for even thinking the worst case scenario. He knew better—he did. _

_He sighs deeply, closing his eyes, trying his hardest to not think about anything negative and when it comes down to leave; to just get through this tour. After this tour, he didn't have to go back—his four years will be up, which means he can retire and do something that can pay the bills and still keep him close to his family_

**COLUMBUS, OHIO—0900**

Quinn opens her eyes again, only this time the sun was out. She stretched her arms over her head as she heard silence, taking over the house. Her brow furrows in confusion as she slides out of bed and walks out to the living room to see Puck's dozed off on the couch. She smiles at the way his head is tilted back on the end of the couch, before walking over to Beth's room to check on her. She was pleasantly surprised that she hasn't woken up yet, so when she opened the door and didn't see her in there she suddenly got worried.

Her brain went into overdrive as she searched every inch of her room without getting anyone up until it was considered necessary. She immediately went to Santana's room and popped the door open to see Santana asleep with Beth cuddled into her. Her little head is nestled on Santana's chest and she couldn't help, but lean against the doorframe in awe at the sight.

She captured her bottom lip between her teeth, before walking away to grab her phone. She walks back and they haven't moved from their spot—not even an inch, as she takes a picture. She smiles at the screen, before letting it save and walking back out to the kitchen to start some breakfast.

When she begins the bacon in the frying pan, she finds herself thinking about the way Beth has taken a liking to Santana. It's not her normal behavior, but she couldn't be happier that they've taken a liking to one another. Santana seemed like somewhat of a mystery to Quinn. She thought she was sweet and very nice—by far the best influence she could ever ask for in a friend of her husband's, but she still felt like she didn't know much about her.

She hears creaking then footsteps padding across the hardwood then turns around to see Santana ruffling her dark hair tiredly. Quinn offers her a warm smile and she returns it. "Beth's in the guestroom. She kind of decided in the middle of the night to go in there," Santana explains, pouring herself another cup of coffee—fresh, thanks to Quinn.

Quinn nods slowly, turning back to her cooking. "Yeah she has trouble sleeping. I don't know what her little brain cooks up, but nightmares seem to really get to her," she shakes her head, not really wanting to tell Santana that they started to happen more when Puck left.

Santana leans against the counter, just watching Quinn cook with her head dipped down in concentration. She can see how much of a toll Puck leaving has taken on her. Puck has talked about how much of a strong willed person Quinn has always been and she knew with him gone it's no different—she didn't have a choice when it comes to Beth.

"Do you need any help with that?" Santana finally cleared her throat and moved closer. Quinn moves her eyes up and shakes her head with a smile, brushing off the question.

"No thank you. You're a guest, so just relax, especially since you won't be able to in a few weeks," she replies with a hint of sadness and Santana knows it's because of Puck leaving, even if in some way Santana hoped it was for the both of them. She didn't know why because they don't even know each other—she felt like shit for wanting to be a part of something that wasn't even hers.

They stood there in silence not really knowing what to say since they never really had time to just sit and talk to one another. Both women were significant to Puck's life, so it seemed natural to try and get comfortable with each other.

Santana liked to believe that she was observant of a person's behavior and their personality, so when Quinn shows even a small sign of sadness, she can see it and probably better than Puck can. She's aware Puck knows how upset Quinn gets when he is shipped out, but it's common knowledge that a wife will be when her husband has to.

She squints her eyes carefully, watching Quinn's moves carefully, before licking her lips. "You don't have to be so strong you know," she whispers, looking down at her hands as she wrings them together. Quinn looks up at Santana, trying to make eye contact with her. No one has ever told her anything like that before, mostly because they don't really know what she's going through. Even when she's asked simple questions, she is able to get away with replying positively.

She goes to pull a plate out of the cabinet above Santana, but she goes and grabs it for her, meeting her eyes. They don't respond about what Santana says and instead leave it hanging in the air. Santana puts it down on the counter, before walking away to let Quinn finish up breakfast.

…

A half our later, Puck and Beth have risen from their slumber and sluggishly made their way to the table as Quinn sets up the table, even after Santana continues asking if she needs help—Quinn still declines. It bothers Santana a little bit, but it isn't her place to speak about it because she isn't her girlfriend or wife. Puck hasn't really noticed as he digs into his breakfast—Beth soon following behind, like they haven't eaten in days. It makes Santana smile at the way Beth shovels her eggs into her mouth, making sure that some pieces get stuck on her face.

Quinn finally sits down to dig into her own food, instantly going for the bacon. Santana takes notice that Quinn has slightly more bacon than everyone else and even goes for it first, before anything else. Santana takes slow bites of hers and close her eyes to savor the flavor—Quinn's an excellent cook and she probably should be thankful she didn't help out; _I may have ruined it._

"So Little Miss, what do you say about us going to the park today?" Puck speaks up to Beth, who turns with her mouth full to her dad, nodding. She puts her fork down with a clunk and grabs her juice with both hands, before taking a big gulp to wash the food down.

"I want to daddy!" She says loudly bursting with excitement. He smiles widely and ruffles her hair, before turning back to his food. "Can Santa come?" She asks with a big smile, causing Santana to look up with wide eyes at the family.

"Oh Smarty, your daddy probably wants to just spend time with you," Santana says as Beth begins to pout. She swings her legs back and forth, starting to play with her food with her fork.

"But I want you to come," she says in a small tone of voice. Santana looks between Puck and Quinn, who just look away, which only puts her in a tight spot. Santana swings her foot into Puck's knee and he mumbles an ouch, giving her a dirty look. She glares at him and he sighs deeply, before looking over at Beth, then back at Santana.

"I don't mind San, you can come. I invited you here and it wouldn't be fair if you were stuck here or even with Quinn today since she'll be with her girls," he shrugs and Santana lets out a deep breath, chancing a look back at Beth.

"All right Smarty, you win," she says and Beth's face lights up immediately, before she fist pumps the air. Santana starts busting out laughing, which is extremely out of character for her, but it made everyone else in the table laugh as well.

_Damn you Puckermans'._

…

**COLUMBUS, OHIO –1300 **

Santana, Beth, and Puck arrive at the park later in the day as Quinn goes to meet up her friends for lunch. Puck knew it'd be a little uncomfortable for Santana to be with the girls since she didn't really know them and even just Quinn alone, plus Beth seemed to really want Santana with them at the park, so who was he to tell his baby girl no?

Beth ran immediately to the swings as Puck and Santana followed close behind. Santana sat down on the swing next to Beth as Puck went behind Beth and began to slowly push her to get her started. "Dude this is a good thing that you and I are here alone because I've been meaning to talk to you about something," Puck begins as he pushes Beth up higher, so she can have fun, but also so she doesn't hear the conversation—Beth will tell anybody anything that she hears.

"I wanted to talk to Quinn about this, but anytime I try to she just dodges it or she demands me to stop talking," Puck begins and Santana eyes him concerned, but she seems to have an idea where this is going. "I just want her to be prepared if I don't come back and I just wanted to tell you, this is my last tour," he looks at her and she nods carefully, knowing it was coming and it's natural because he has a family.

Santana has thoughts about relisting and her heart was set on doing just that, but it will be a little hard to not have Puck with her every day. "So what are you saying?" She asks trying to figure out where he's getting at.

"I don't know man. I'm trying to tell her things I want her to do when we get back and I don't come back, but she won't hear any of it," he says, but Santana feels like that's not all he wants to say, but she knew that was all she was going to get now.

"Well you can't blame her for that man. She doesn't want to think about you not coming back to her and that's natural," Santana reasons with him as he slows his pushing down on the swing, so Beth doesn't go too high and finally slows her down.

"Yeah you're right," he sighs deeply, before letting Beth hop off and run to the slide. "I just need to relax and stop thinking about shit," he adds, before walking away and chasing after Beth.

Santana watches him run after her, watching her scream and Puck laugh. She smiles at her interaction, but couldn't help, but feel strange about the whole conversation. It was short, but she had an idea of what Puck was trying to say and she had a weird feeling that she somehow had something to do with it.


	4. Chapter IV

**COLUMBUS, OHIO -1100**

_Chapter IV:_

It's been a week and half since Santana and Puck came home for visitation. It was a little bittersweet knowing in just half that time, they'll be back on the front, in the middle of Satan's hot ass, dodging mines and bullets. Okay Puck may have lied to his brother about the dodging of bullets while they were in the Middle East, in fact they haven't seen any action really—just sort of kept watch.

It was the weekend though, which Santana soon discovered was the time when there was a list of Puck to do and fix around the house sincerely written in Quinn's penmanship. Puck didn't seem to mind though, considering it seemed to be a rather regular occurrence. That left Santana to fend for herself though and she wasn't really sure what to do to keep herself occupied, so she got up late.

Finally stepping out at around eleven, she saw Quinn reading at the kitchen table with a mug in hand as her novel sat neatly in front of her. Next to her, Beth was drawing with all her crayons laying sprawled out on her space of the table. Outside she could clearly see Puck on a ladder, fighting with the gutter.

"Santa," Santana turns her attention to Beth who is smiling widely at her. She finally acknowledges her with the same wide grin, then advances to the coffee pot. Quinn finally brings her attention to the girl as she pours herself a cup.

"Good morning San," she smiles and Santana can feel her heart swell at the nickname—it's the first time Quinn's ever called her anything other than her full name.

"Good morning Smarty and mornin' Q," she makes her cup just the way she likes it and glances up to see Quinn turning back to her novel with a tiny glint, and she's aware it's because of only using her initial.

She finally takes a seat next to Quinn, sipping her coffee in the quiet house, with the only slight grunts and clinks from outside which the girls knew was Puck's doing. Santana looks across from her at Beth's drawing and smiles when she sees people and they're wearing completely green uniforms, having a feeling just who she's drawing.

She never thought when she came here that she would adore this family as much as she did. Santana wasn't ever big on having too many people in her life out of fear that they'd just turn their backs on her—like they couldn't be trusted, but for the first time in her life, she trusted these three. Beth is harmless, but she trusted Beth would be around and care about wanting her a part of her life for a very long time. There are times where she wonders if she's done the right thing in her life. She doesn't regret enlisting, but she wonders if she's missing out on certain things—maybe that's what Puck's trying to tell her, just not directly.

"Santa," Santana focuses her attention on Beth, who's holding her brown crayon in between her fingertips. "Can you come to my school tomorrow?" She asks with her big hazel eyes, which in turn causes her to look at Quinn questionably.

Quinn places her bookmark in her page, then closes her hardcover novel. She folds her arms and crosses her legs underneath the table.

"Beth has show and tell, but she wants to do something different, so she wanted to bring either Puck or you in so you can tell the kids everything. I'll be there, but they've already met Puck, so you were kind of an easy pick," Quinn elaborated and Santana chuckles, sipping some more of her coffee. She looks back at the youngest Puckerman, before nodding, knowing she wouldn't be able to say no to her even if she wanted to. It made Beth happy and Quinn beamed at her daughter's excitement, but slightly amused at the way she expressed it.

"Can I tell Nana when she comes to get me?" Beth asks her mom with elation visible in her tone, as she hops up and down in her chair.

"Of course you can honey," Quinn replies as she gets up and runs to her room, both girls unsure where she ran off to, but Quinn had a tiny idea that she went to pack her toys for the night she'd be spending with Quinn's mother.

"If you need me out of you guys' hair tonight, I'll find something to do," Santana states, finishing her coffee, standing up and advancing to the sink to wash it.

"Oh no, the three of us are meeting some people at a bar to hang out," Quinn adds, standing up as well to clean up Beth's crayons. Santana watches her taking slow strides, placing each one back in the box, the right side up and Santana couldn't help but notice how much precision the blonde has when it came to little things.

"Your friends I've already met?" Santana asks curiously, not wanting to be blindsided or anything when it came time and she didn't know anybody there, so she would look ridiculous sitting by the bar alone with her drinks surrounding her.

"Oh yeah, of course, but there are a few PTA moms that are coming," she says with a small smile and Santana looks at her sort of amused.

"PTA huh?" Quinn makes eye contact with the tanner girl, lowering them curiously, only to shake her head so she can refrain from actually responding back with a witty comeback.

"They want to set up some charity softball game in order to raise money for the Boys and Girls Club, so we were going to kind of talk about it at the bar," she adds more information as to her motives for the get together. She knew Puck was all for just having a good time and when there is alcohol involved, she knew Puck could always find a way.

"And what about this show and tell thing, why are you going to be there?" Santana questioned, mostly because she wanted to at least get all her answers, before walking in there with zero preparation. Call it the little soldier inside her, but it was necessary for her to receive information before walking into a situation.

"I have to take you and Beth there, plus the parents always stay because it's like a little report the kids don't prepare for. They just improvise and the teacher says it teaches them good people skills," Quinn explains and Santana can only nod slowly, grasping the entire concept of show and tell. She remembered having it in her own school, but the entire participation of it all has gotten far more complex than she remembered. She remembered being able to bring dolls or other toys that were significant to her life, not bring actual people—but still though, she kind of liked being important to Beth, especially if it was enough to bring her and show off to her classmates.

They hear a sudden growl and huff out back and Santana sees Puck lowering himself off the latter with his screwdriver in hand. She rolls her eyes, before walking over to the back door. Quinn looks up watching her leave and shut the door behind her. She can see them talking, then Santana pushes him slightly and takes his screwdriver, then makes her way up the latter, leaving Puck to go inside, coated in sweat.

"Santana kicked me out of the duties. Apparently I'm a lost cause," he huffs with a slight breathy chuckle. Quinn smiles at him and shakes her head.

"Oh you're just now realizing that? I didn't think someone had to tell you," she jests and before she can gloat in her witty comeback, she's screaming on the top of her lungs because Puck's lifted her up over his shoulder and throwing her on the couch.

"Ew no—no you smell like ass! Go shower now!" She giggles and he rubs his face all over her. "Ah Noah Puckerman!" He laughs before pulling her up and kissing her deeply on the lips.

"Now you have to shower with me," he grumbles into her lips and she shakes her head, not the least bit amused.

"Now how is that fair? Your best friend is outside doing _your _work and you're going to probably have her watch Beth while you have sex with me?" Quinn crosses her arms over her chest as his hands rest on her hips.

"Beth loves Santana though," he whines and Quinn nods furiously.

"Yes, but it's not fair and you know it, so you're going to have to shower alone," she pats his chest, before walking towards the back door.

"Why can't you women think with your vaginas?" He calls to her and she turns around, winking at him seductively.

"Who says we don't?" She responds in that rasp that she knows gets him going—has been since they were kids and when she walks out she knew nothing's changed.

Quinn stands at the bottom of the latter, noticing that Santana's abandoned her shirt, so all she sees is her back muscles flexing as she turns the screwdriver. They glisten and even though it's a hot day out, it's still a very nice one. She squints as the sun peaks out from the clouds even more, blinding her as she keeps her eyes on Santana's work. In reality, she wanted to make sure she didn't need anything, even though handy work wasn't exactly her forte.

With a huff, Santana wipes her forehead with her wrist, before stepping down from the latter. She turns around and meets Quinn's gaze, letting out a deep breath. "All done," she comments, before tossing the screwdriver back in the tool box. Santana pulls the list out of her pocket and looks it over, just as Quinn snatches it from her fingers.

"You're not doing any more of these," she says and Santana looks at her baffled. "It's not your job to," she adds, putting the list in her bra under her shirt.

"You think that would stop me from getting that piece of paper?" Santana challenges and Quinn gulps audibly at her words. She knew Santana wouldn't openly just remove the list from her safe keep, but still the thought had her mind going hazy and even causing her body to flush a little bit.

"Puck's treating you like you live here," Quinn chooses not to respond to Santana's earlier comment, even though she knew she didn't have a good response even if she wanted to.

Santana smiles warmly at her and shakes her head. "He isn't and you guys have been great to me, honestly. I just wanted to do something nice for you guys and not feel completely useless while, especially you are waiting on me practically hand and foot," she explains and Quinn can't help, but look away to hide her growing smile. She chances a look back up at Santana who is looking at her questionably.

"You're not going to give up are you?" Quinn asks with have lidded eyes. Santana merely just shakes her head, just before Quinn huffs and takes the list out of her bra to hand it back to the tanner girl. "Fine, but don't hurt yourself, okay?" She warns carefully, just as she sees Puck walking around inside—she can finally shower now.

"Yes ma'am," Santana smiles softly as Quinn makes her way back inside, so she can shower and be ready in time to take Beth to her mother's and go to the bar tonight.

…

Santana sits at the bar as a house band plays some old tunes that she isn't too sure of. She's nursing her beer by its neck as she sees Puck being greeted by a few people she doesn't know—her guess is regulars from the bar since he did mention that he came there fairly often before being shipped out. She scanned the area more and saw Quinn sitting at a high top table with a martini with the olive still in the glass with a few other women. She seemed to be engrossed in an intense conversation—_must be about that charity game she mentioned earlier. _

She sighed deeply, gulping down the liquid before placing it back down on the bar top. She didn't understand what was wrong with her. There were times where she felt like she fit in with the two of them, but then her insecurities bubble up and it's like she doesn't know who she is anymore. She has the will to be smooth and then it's like she suddenly forgets that she's just a simple minded girl.

"Hey," she turns and sees Quinn standing behind her. She turns around completely in the stool to face the blonde. "I promised you wouldn't be alone, so come here with us and maybe you can help us sort out a way to make money," she offers rather than asks, but nevertheless Santana nods, grabbing her beer and sits down with the rest of the mothers from Beth's class.

"Ladies this is Santana, she's in the service with Puck and she's staying with us while they're on leave," Quinn introduces her and Santana gives them a polite smile, before taking her seat next to Quinn.

"It's nice to meet you. I'm Amy and honestly, I think we can speak for everyone here that we appreciate what you do for the country," Amy states, holding her hand out for Santana to shake, which she gladly accepts.

"Oh it's—it's nothing, really," Santana waves off, even though she knows most of the women would find that she's being modest. She takes another sip of her beer as she gets acquainted with everyone else at the table, but the one woman that she can't seem to take her eyes off of is this tall, blonde haired woman. Her hair lays in loose waves and her eyes are a deep green, lips pleasantly plump—her name is Jordan from what she got. She has a daughter too, but she's a single mother.

They get off topic with all the introductions and bits of information given about each other, before Quinn takes the conversation back to its original topic. "Okay so how do we raise this money? I think the softball game is a fabulous idea," Quinn chimes and Santana nods slowly as does everyone else.

"Only way to do that is with sponsors," Santana brings up, while Jordan begins to smile softly then narrow her eyes curiously.

"How do we get sponsors?" Quinn asks, leaning on her right hand that is being held up on the table. Santana looks around at her small audience awaiting for her to tell them just how to organize it.

"Well go to small local businesses because if you went to corporate owned places like McDonalds you'd directly have to go through their headquarters. Go to places like the pediatrician's office and so on," Santana elaborated using hand gestures to explain the concept and Quinn nods in understanding.

"Fantastic idea," Santana's attention moves at the sound of Jordan's sultry voice, before locking eyes. It causes an instant stir in her underbelly, forcing her to clear her throat to prevent any discomfort.

After much deliberation, they came to an agreement that looking for sponsors will be something that could take possibly awhile, so they decided that coming up with a date for the game just couldn't happen till they got a few donations from these companies. They also decided setting up a hotdog stand with hamburgers would be the best route in order to keep people fueled, while even the possibility of a bake sale. Santana smiled at how enthusiastic Quinn was about the whole event and she could tell it brings her complete joy to be helping children as well as finding other mothers like her, that aren't just in her set of friends.

They finally ended their meeting, which gave Santana a free pass to roam as she pleased. The bar has gotten fairly crowded and she could spot Quinn and Puck dancing together like the adorable couple they are, so she decides to order another beer to keep herself entertained with, when she feels a hand slowly making its way down her back.

"I thought I'd find you here," they make themselves known and her eyes widen in surprise as the bartender brings Santana her drink. "Don't put that on her tab," she instructs, turning her attention back to the tanner girl. "It's on me," she places emphasis on her words, giving her the most seductive eyes she's ever seen.

"Um—thanks Kitty, but I can take care of a beer. Actually this is only my third one, so it's really not a big deal," she states, pointing to it and she smirks as she begins to shake her head slowly.

"Why must you deny the inevitable?" Kitty asks and Santana cocks her head in confusion. "You're going to leave with me tonight. I'm going to ignite that hot Latina fire within that's only waiting to be released from that sexy body of yours, and it's going to be the hottest piece of ass you'll get that you'll be begging for more by the time your three weeks are up,"

Santana's eyes widen at Kitty's words and she couldn't help, but feel slightly terrified by the girl's advances. In a way they amused her and she knew Kitty was obviously attracted to her—she made it obvious when Puck and her first returned back to the States, but now she was being extremely forward and not in a sexy way. It actually was turning her off even more so because of how—how she would say _sluty_ she sounds, but blame it on the alcohol, right?

"Look I—" she was ready to let her down easy because she did still have a heart and more so, Puck and Quinn were good friends with her, so in reality she couldn't be too forward about her rejection.

"I was looking for you. I thought maybe you can help me with my car. Quinn said you were really good at fixing things, so I thought you may be able to help," Santana meets green pools and Kitty's annoying flirtation goes out of her brain.

Santana grabs her bottle, before nodding and escorting Jordan out of the front, leaving Kitty by the bar to huff.

The wind hits their faces instantly and it amazes Santana how it could be scorching hot out during the day, but nice and cool during the night—it made her miss the desert just a little bit. As they walked down the sidewalk in slow strides in silence, it made Santana realize something. "So where's the car?" Santana asks and Jordan turns around, her hair whipping around freely.

"We passed it. You just looked like you needed some saving, so I thought I'd be your hero for the night. Every hero needs saving at some point," she states and Santana smiles a little, chuckling lowly.

"Yes well thank you," Santana says, turning on her heel to look back at the bar. "I definitely didn't know how to handle that. She's kind of crazy," she adds, pointing as if Kitty is literally standing behind her.

Jordan laughs and Santana definitely got goosebumps from hearing it. "It appeared that way," she advances towards the tanner girl, standing right in front of her. "But could you blame her?" She whispers softly, mere inches from the other girl's face.

"I don't—I don't really know how anyone could be crazy over me," Santana mentally kicks herself for stating something so vulnerable to a girl she barely knows and it causes her to turn her head down. Jordan catches her chin to make her look back in her eyes, smiling softly.

"What's not to like? Give yourself more credit than that. You're intelligent Santana and Quinn has been going on endless rants about how good you are with Beth, I mean you're everything that a woman could want in another woman—if there was a relationship forming that is," Jordan concludes and Santana takes a deep breath, letting it out far more shakier than she intended, but the closeness that is between the two of them combined with the intense conversation didn't calm her nerves.

How is it possible that she can be the cockiest person on the field, cursing with her boys and being fearless when it came to the guns and the mere thought of dying in the hands of another human being, but when in the close proximity of a striking female, she was like putty at their fingertips?

"And you want a relationship?" Santana asks curiously, knowing that is something she didn't want and definitely wasn't implying she should start one, especially not with Jordan since she really doesn't know her.

Jordan captures her bottom lip between her teeth, dropping her hand to her side. She smirks semi seductively, shaking her head. "Absolutely not—one day sure, but I'm about having fun. Even though I have a child, I'm not comfortable with commitment—never have been," she starts walking backwards slowly, her heels clicking against the pavement. Santana drags her feet forward towards the blonde with hands buried her pockets.

"That makes two of us," Santana replies lowly, glancing down at the pavement then meeting her gaze again.

"So let's make the most of it, shall we?" Jordan suggests and if Santana knew anything about her experience with women was that this was an open invitation to fuck her to oblivion with zero strings attached. To be quite fair, she'll be gone in a week in a half's time, therefore she won't ever be seen again by Jordan and maybe that could be a good thing. She liked Jordan—she did, but the thought of ever being more or seeing her again for a romantic affair was definitely not in the cards for this Latina, so with a quick stride and a confident grin, she grabs Jordan's outstretched hands as she guides her to her car to bring her to her home for the night.

* * *

**I'm sure all of you want to murder Jordan, but I assure you she's harmless. This is going to be quick and I want to thank you all for the love and support of this story on here and on Tumblr. I have been paying attention to certain things that are being picked out from here that people are noticing; things that I don't even With that said, I appreciate it all and I hope you all continue to read further. This will be a fairly long story in my opinion. By chapter 6 they should be heading back to the Middle East and that's where the real work begins for me, so keep checking back and I'll see you all next time.**


	5. Chapter V

_Chapter V_

**COLUMBUS, OHIO - 0700**

Santana laid buried under covers that didn't belong to the guest bedroom in Puck's house, with her bare leg hanging out the bottom of it. Her face was comfortably placed on a pillow that she could best describe as a cloud—if she's ever been on one. Last night definitely gave her that kind of feeling. When she went home with Jordan, she knew exactly what she was getting into. She just didn't expect it all to feel so amazing, but with one year of nothing—anything must feel amazing at this point, but she won't knock Jordan's skills because she certainly had some.

Her breathing was steady and when she felt a weight move on top of her, then a pair of lips ghosting just behind her ear, she awoke with groan, before turning over and seeing Jordan lazily staring down at her. She's straddling her hips with her hands resting at Santana's sides.

Santana smiles contently, running her hands up Jordan's big shirt to graze skin, before spinning her around to lay her on the bed. Jordan giggles when Santana leans down to capture her deadly lips. Their tongues begin a battle that both are determined to win, before Santana admits defeat, moving her assault down the blonde's neck.

"Mmm as much as I'd love to continue this, we have to stop there Tiger," she says with her eyes closed, earning a little nip from Santana. She gasps, rolling her hips into Santana who just grunts in response. "No really, we do have to stop," she adds and Santana looks up at her in confusion. The girl got her all riled up by sitting on her and now she's vagina blocking her—_the nerve_.

Then Santana's eyes widen at realization, before untangling herself from Jordan and the comforter. "The show and tell—shit! Shit," Santana mutters, running around the room naked in search for all her clothes.

"Santana," she turns at the sound of her voice and sees Jordan getting out of bed to go to her closet. She tosses down two pairs of jeans and two completely different shirts. "Take your pick. One way or another I take the other set of clothes and I'll take you to the school since I have to go there anyway, but we're running a bit late because my daughter was with her father last night and he agreed to take her, so I lost track of time, so hurry up—coffee's been made," she smiles, pecking Santana's lips before walking into the bathroom to shower.

Santana turns her head to the closed door in confusion, amazement; shock—_this girl is amazing_, she thought.

…

After getting dressed, Santana and Jordan made it to the school in fifteen minutes. They quickly walked to the class to see other parents there while each kid shared certain things that meant something to them. Santana looked around the area and saw Beth sitting down with her face down in what looked like sadness. She sighed deeply, afraid she didn't miss it, when she saw Quinn standing against the wall right across from where Beth was sitting. She was looking down at her with what looked like disappointment. The plan was for her to go with them to the school and she imagined when Quinn or Beth came into her room to see her not there, they assumed she forgot or just left—she couldn't disappoint these two. They were beginning to be the family she thought she could never have and Puck did this for her.

A hand rests on her lower back and she turns her gaze to Jordan, who rolls her head to Beth in a way to tell her to go see her. She takes a deep breath, nodding then makes her way through the small crowd of parents. She knew as she got closer she'd be discovered by Quinn, but she didn't care—she had something to prove.

She got to Beth and sat down behind her, before picking her up and placing her in her lap. It shocked Beth, but when she turned around and saw Santana's face, her expression brightened and she threw her arms around her neck. "I knew you didn't forget," she whispered into their embrace—her mommy taught her not to interrupt other people when they were sharing.

"Of course not, you're important to be Smarty and I'll be here for you no matter what," Santana tells her, pulling away so she can look into her eyes—to show she was serious about what she said; that she meant every word.

Beth smiled and nods. "Promise?"

Santana holds her pinky out and Beth attaches her own tiny one. "I promise," she scrunches her face up and it makes the little girl giggle softly.

"All right, next up we have Beth Puckerman," the teacher chimes and claps begin as Beth makes her way up to the front. This is the first time she's noticed that Beth is dressed in a sundress, which in turn makes her chuckle a little since Puck mentioned once before that Quinn practically wore nothing but dresses to school.

She begins to fiddle with the hem of it as the claps die down. She scans the area, before her eyes land on Santana again. She urges her to speak, but she freezes, letting out a nervous breath. Santana hears movement behind her and someone kneel behind her. They wrap their arm around her neck gently and place their chin on top of her head and it makes Beth smile softly.

"For my—show and tell, I brought Santa—na. She is my daddy's friend and she saves the world with him. Both mean a lot to me and even dough I just got to meet her, she is my best friend and I wanted everyone to see her too," Beth manages in slow strides and both girls let out a deep breath they never thought they were holding, before the arm is released around her neck so she can get up in front of the class—Santana knew the arm belonged to _Quinn_.

She got up from her seat on the floor and walked up next to Beth, before picking her up and holding her in her arms.

"Hello I'm Santana Lopez, though I'm sure most of you won't understand the terms, I'll just start by saying that I've in the army for about four years now and I met Beth's father in basic, so that's how we all know each other. We're on leave for three weeks with about half the time left, before being shipped back out, but we vow not to let you guys down that support us as troops and call us heroes," Santana explains, as a little boy raises his hand, Santana points to him so he can speak.

"Have you ever been shot?" He asks curiously as some of the adults try to decide if they should scowl him or not—similar to the first day she met Beth and she smiles at the memory. She kisses the side of Beth's head and she giggles at that.

"Well when I went to the doctor's last year they said I needed them even though I told him I didn't, so yeah," she nods before chuckling softly. "Oh—oh you mean shot with a gun? Oh my mistake," some of the parents laugh, even though the kids didn't completely understand it. "Nope can't say I have," she adds with a tight lipped smile.

"My daddy says you fight bad guys, doesn't that make you a superhero?" Another little boy asked and Santana chuckles lowly.

"Well I'm pretty sure I'm not in any comic books," Santana pretends to be stumped by this question, mostly because she doesn't like being identified as a hero for being in the military—it's a pride and modesty thing, but it still got the adults laughing again. "Anymore questions?"

A little girl raises her hand and Santana points to her. She sees Jordan moving further into the room now which gave her a strong feeling that this girl was Jordan's daughter. "How can I be you?" She asks timidly and Santana looks up at Jordan, whose eyes meet her own. She smiles softly at her, shaking her head in amazement.

Santana turns back to the little girl, before putting Beth down and walking over to her. She leans down in front of her and smiles softly. "The best person you can be is yourself. Don't try to be anyone else because the world would be boring if everyone was the same, and I think if I really knew you, I'd think you were pretty great just as is," she tells her as the little blonde nods with a bashful smile. Santana chances a look up and sees Jordan's eyes red, rubbing the tears from her eyes—_she heard me._

"Well that's all the time we have, thank you parents and Miss Lopez for joining us for another fantastic round of Show and Tell," the teacher says and she shakes her hand before walking out the front door to wait. She didn't know if she wanted to go to Beth and Quinn or see Jordan, so she chose the third option and that was to wait outside.

She sighed deeply, rounding the corner and just as she did she heard footsteps coming up behind her, turning her around and pushing her into the wall. A pair of lips captures hers and they were firm, fingers tightening around her shirt. They pull away and Santana looks into Jordan's eyes, before pecking her lips gently. "Thank you for telling her that," she whispers, rubbing her nose with her own. "She needed to hear it," she added, before pulling away and patting Santana's chest. She takes a deep breath and stands back to look at her more thoroughly then smiles.

"I'll see you around," she states, then makes her way down the hall. Santana sees Jordan turn back in the classroom and she assumes it had to do with saying goodbye to her daughter, but she didn't know. She sighs deeply, then begins advancing towards the exit only to be joined at her side by another blonde.

"Late night, last night, huh?" Quinn says as they stroll slowly and Santana chuckles to herself. "You know we really didn't think you were going to be here," she adds and Santana stops when they make their way outside.

"I wouldn't have missed it," she replied softly and Quinn turns on her heel, meeting her gaze with a tight lipped smile. She almost seemed angry, but maybe she was just angry that she cut so close to Beth's spot in line to speak.

"Well we know that now," she says stiffly and starts walking back towards her car. Santana looks at her back confused, before running after her. She stands in front of Quinn's path which in turn makes her huff.

"Why are you angry with me?" She asks and Quinn looks up at the sky to bite back anything she just may regret. "I'm sorry that I was late, but I made it. I didn't let her down and I didn't let you down, so why are you so upset?" She was confused because one moment her arm was wrapped around her neck and the next she's biting her head off.

"It's nothing—I just wish you would've thought about this before going off to fuck Jordan," she spat out and Santana's eyes widen. "Oh and please save it! Jordan gets around Santana, so I'm more pissed off at her for dragging you down to her level. She has a four year old and she isn't stable, so I'm just—concerned I guess,"

"I can take care of myself and for the record, you're right—she isn't stable, but neither am I," she shrugs, before walking away from Quinn. This wasn't supposed to happen—she wasn't supposed to be getting into arguments with her best friend's wife about petty things, like who she hooks up with.

Quinn knew Jordan longer than she did. Jordan isn't someone who hides who she is as an individual. The fact of the matter is, the girl just likes to have fun and she has needs like anyone else, she just doesn't want to be tied down to someone; that's not wrong and Santana respects that because it's like they're one in the same. They both seemed to have a mutual understanding about who they were and who they were to each other. She could see herself staying friends with Jordan and sure hooking up would be fun to do anytime they came in contact, but even to just have her to talk to would be good enough. It was the way that Quinn placed the picture in her head that concerned her—still though she was her own person and she thought for herself.

She finally got back to Puck and Quinn's to see Puck laying underneath his old truck, fixing it up. Puck always said one day he was going to get the "Old Bat" up and running, but so far he's had no luck. Santana's footsteps could be heard so he slid out from underneath the car and he has a big grin plastered on his lips.

"Bro I heard you got laid!" He yells her way and she stops short. She breathes out softly, then advances towards him and just nods. "That's my bro, so who was it? Kitty?" He asks curiously, only to have Santana's eyes widen.

"Oh good God, hell fucking no," she says and he begins to laugh hysterically for a good solid thirty seconds.

"She is bat shit crazy man," he agreed and Santana nods furiously. "Was it one of those PTA mom's? I swear man there is one that Quinn knows, hot as fuck dude. She has long blonde hair, tight body, and I think her name started with a J or something. Quinn gets mad jealous about her though," he says, standing up to look inside the engine. Santana gulps inaudibly—_Quinn gets jealous about Jordan? Why?_

"Why would Quinn be jealous of her?" She asks curiously, crossing her arms over her chest. Puck chances looks back and forth to her, using his wrench to tighten a bolt.

"Like I said before man, Quinn has self love issues. I love her to death, but if she loved herself as much as I loved her—I'd be out of a job. That other chick—now she's confident and knows she looks good. She could get anyone she wants, but Quinn tries to hide her jealousy under the fact that she's being irresponsible as a mother because she isn't in a committed relationship or acting like a single mother," he shrugs and quirks his lips to the side and Santana swallows deeply, letting out a shaky breath, before making her way further towards Puck.

She leans against the truck, fiddling with her fingers. She debates on telling him about what transpired between her and Jordan last night, but she knows he'll make it a big deal. He's her best friend though and they tell each other everything, so she closes her eyes tightly. "I slept with her," she grumbles and Puck stops his work, staring up at her. She opens her eyes and meets his gaze. "The PTA chick—Jordan; yeah I was with her last night and this morning," she adds and Puck's eyes widen, before he leans back and laughs.

"Oh my God!" He says loudly, tossing his wrench on the grass next to the driveway. He leans against the car with a large smile plastered on his face. "Oh man, Quinn's going to kill you,"

"Don't worry—I felt her wrath when I was at the preschool, but she has no right to be mad at me because it's not like I'm the one married to her," Santana concludes and Puck nods softly with a hint of a smirk.

"Well there is one thing you got to know about my wife. Now that she knows you and you're a part of our lives, she is going to be looking out for you regardless of it really being necessary or not. She does it because she cares and even if it comes off like she's treating you like a child, it's because she is stuck in mother mode practically 24/7—she doesn't know how to turn it off, so don't take it too seriously bro," he pats her shoulder, before getting off the truck and closing the engine compartment. He picks up the wrench and tosses it in the tool box, locking it up, then carries it back inside.

"So how it feel?" Santana asks and Puck looks at her confused. "To fuck your mother," she smirks and Puck's mouth drops and she starts laughing hysterically, running inside to get away from him.

"Fuck you dude! Fuck you!"

…

**COLUMBUS, OHIO - 1900**

Three days. There are three days left till Santana and Puck will be boarding a plane back to the middle of nowhere. The closer it got the more Santana wished time would just slow down for her. She was actually enjoying being in Ohio with the three of them, along with Jordan. She still went by Jordan's every now and then to spend time with her—even as time got closer for them, she started coming more often; she just wasn't ready to let go, regardless of them never being hers.

Santana and Quinn haven't addressed the little discussion in the parking lot and since then the air between them has been rather thick. Santana didn't want to go on that plane in three days without resolving and clearing the air, so she decided to seek her out.

It was dark and the backyard lights were on, Puck was watching ESPN and Quinn was outside, reading under the lights. Santana sighed and made her way over to the door. She opened it, instantly creating attention, but it didn't matter—she had to do this, then sat down next to Quinn.

She licked her lips hesitantly as Quinn turned back to her book. Santana ran her hand through her wet hair, before speaking. "I wanted to thank you," she says softly. It gauged a reaction from Quinn that she closed her book to focus on the girl in front of her. "For everything you've done for me here. I know with the whole Jordan thing you were just concerned because you care, and I appreciate that, but I have to make my own decisions. I'm not searching for someone to spend the rest of my life with nor is she—she was just there and she helped me out of a rough situation," she explained, not wanting to miss a single beat of everything because in a way she felt like Quinn had a right to know.

"Kitty mentioned you walked off with her when she tried to talk to you. You left without paying your tab, so she paid for it," Quinn retorted and Santana's eyes widen at that—well that wasn't completely true. She did leave without paying and that was her fault—she regrets doing that after just being told that, but Kitty most definitely wasn't having a conversation with her over simple things like her job or the weather.

"I'll pay her back for the tab, but she was telling me that she and I were destined to sleep together, then Jordan came along right before I was going to turn her down," Santana elaborated, not wanting to be blamed for anything when Kitty was trying to play the victim, so to speak.

Quinn looks down to hide her amused smirk, before nodding. "San—I know how Kitty is. I know she is capable of acting that way, so I'm not mad at you nor do I think you walked off on purpose. You wanted to run away from her—that's completely acceptable," she chuckles softly, making Santana breath out a sigh of relief.

"Anyway, this isn't completely about what happened. I just want you to know these last three weeks made me realize that even though I'm not close to my own family, I feel like I've been brought into one that is just as good—no _better_ than strictly blood. I care about you and Beth a lot, so if you guys ever need anything, I'm here for you two," Santana tells her further and Quinn smiles widely, before enveloping her into a warm embrace. She kisses her cheek and pulls away, still smiling.

"Thank you San," she says softly which only makes Santana nod in response. "Can you do something for me?" She asks and Santana just nods again, knowing she'd do anything for this family—something she just got done saying to the blonde.

"Protect him for me. I already had this conversation with him when it came to you, so please protect one another when things get crazy. I know we've only known each other for three weeks, but I feel like I've known you for four years because he's been mentioning you since basic, so I already knew you since day one of this adventure. You're just as important to me as he is, so please, promise me—the both of you just come back home safe and unharmed," Quinn practically begs, holding both of the tanner girl's hands in her own.

Santana knew this conversation, but she never thought she'd be having it with someone. It was part of the reason she stayed at a distance—to avoid the idea of having someone's life on her shoulders. Sure she had her entire platoon's life on her shoulders, but to have your best friend's wife to promise her that he will be okay is a harder job than she could ever ask for. She isn't prepared for what happens when they step out in that desert. She isn't prepared for exactly what others are capable of and she most certainly isn't prepared for if by chance shots are fired. They haven't been shot at before, so four years and not being stuck in an ambush or anything is like asking for something to occur, which is something she knows Puck is struggling with—he has been since they got here and she knows that's where that conversation at the park steamed from.

She gulped though, looking into Quinn's deep hazel, pleading eyes, before nodding.

_I promise._

* * *

**So I am offering you all another chapter because of how amazing you all are. The reviews that flew in were heartwarming. It seemed like you all got a good handle on what you wanted and expected from me; I guess I'm predictable huh? Anyway, thank you all for the support and Puck and Santana are back in the Middle East next chapter, I won't tell you when the angst will come, but it's coming. It could be next chapter or the chapter after that, you'll just have to keep reading and waiting to find out. Anyway, I love you guys and I hope you continue to read. I probably won't write the next few days because my birthday is on Monday (the big 21), so just be patient. I'll see you guys again soon!**

**lacksubstance . tumblr . com**


	6. Chapter VI

**I did something a little differently for this chapter as you will see in the beginning. I know it's going to seem rushed, but I promise you I only did bullet points for this chapter and there will be more details overtime. Anyway thank you so much for the reviews and everyone reading, I appreciate them so much and I love each and every one of you. I will see you guys later and I hope you enjoy this chapter. **

* * *

_Chapter VI_

"_San, hold on I got you bro—,"_

"_Santana, you hang in there! I got you babe—,"_

"_Lopez!—"_

"…_You're safe."_

Clouded eyes. Faded thoughts, Santana awoke with the scorching pain of a lifetime. She doesn't remember much since everything happened so quickly, but when she scans her surroundings, she's met with beeping machines and pale white walls.

She inhales a deep breath and it sticks to her like a knife when she tries to exhale. Where's her uniform? Where's the rest of her platoon mates? Where's—_where's Puck?_ Her head starts to pound with an unimaginable force that, her eyes begin to drift close again.

…

_**FIVE WEEKS AGO…**_

"Man I hate saying goodbye," Puck sits in the window seat on the plane heading onward to the Middle East. Santana watched as his face suddenly dropped in sadness, but this was normal when she saw him and yet in a way this all felt new to her. This is the first time she had to say anything to someone else. It kind of broke her heart a little bit to say anything remotely close to a departure to Beth, but she knew what all of this meant—she was a four year old genius; Santana was convinced.

She actually didn't expect it to be hard to even say goodbye to Quinn, but when she pulled her into an embrace and hugged her tightly, placing a kiss upon her cheek. She went to say goodbye, but Santana didn't feel right. Goodbyes are never good, Puck had that spot on, so she didn't say the word. She simply just said:

_I'll see you later._

It's enough to give them hope that maybe they will see each other again. They were just as much her family as they were Puck's—even though Puck was of course first priority, she still felt like they treated her as an equal and it made her heart swoon a little; though that doesn't happen much.

"Yeah it sucks," she agreed as she played with a little lanyard that Beth gave her to remember her by. It had blue, white and two types of greens; a lighter and darker one. Beth told her the lighter colors; the blue and white, were her and Santana was the greens, so she knows that they'll always be linked. Granted she hinted Quinn made it, but Beth insisted it was her idea.

She sucked her bottom lip into her mouth, fiercely wiping her cheeks. She hated showing emotion. She's used to leaving others and vise versa—it made things easier, but this part of her didn't want to leave these specific people. In these three weeks, she's realized they were bound together, much like this lanyard between her fingertips. Even though Quinn didn't represent the colors, she still touched the strings—she weaved them together and secured them tightly, which made her easily apart of this gift she's holding. She didn't want to lead Puck on with her thoughts, but it killed her as much inside to leave his family behind.

…

**BAGHDAD, IRAQ –1000 HOURS**

Stepping out on the sand, seeing the way it tinted their boots again only made it official—they were back to the place they despised. Granted Santana used to enjoy it. Being shipped out was something of an adventure, but more so than that it kept her from being lonely in her apartment back in California. Her apartment was a constant reminder that there was no one there to come back to and though she enjoyed not having anyone to answer to, seeing the way Quinn and Puck's relationship was, she began to rethink the whole thought process and maybe just maybe being in a relationship wasn't such a horrible idea.

Holding what little luggage they had, they entered the military Jeep to head off to their post. To see their friends—their platoon mates again was a little bittersweet. Most of them got to go home prior or are set to leave just after them.

Once they reached their camp, they stepped out to hollering and were greeted with pats on the back, while Santana got hugs—she's a female, but they insist it's because they love her more than Puck. When Finn pulls her into him she smiles more—he was her next best friend to Puckerman, everyone else were just obnoxious siblings.

"I see you're still alive and all your limbs are intact," she comments as he steps away to hold his arms out to the sides, twirling around to make sure. He lets out a laugh and pulls her back into an embrace.

"Yeah nothing's really been happening. We did get orders to move out though. Apparently there is a couple of Iraqi groups within our range, so we have to be prepared," Finn lets Santana in since he was the one that's in charge of radio communication in the platoon.

"I'm sure Sergeant Shuester is well aware already?" She questions as he nods instantly, before padding her shoulder gently to head off and pack his belongings as well as the radio. She looks around the area, seeing everyone else has dispersed to do the same. It's only then that she lets out a deep sigh and feels Puck wrap his arm around her shoulder.

"Welcome home buddy," he comments and kisses the top of her head. She closes her eyes for a brief moment, before nodding hesitantly, then muttering.

_Yeah…welcome home. _

…

**SOMEWHERE IN THE MIDDLE EAST, IRAQ – 0800 HOURS**

Santana steps out of her tent to the blistering heat. They spent the entire night moving camp and she was exhausted as was most of the platoon, but they all had duties and right now, hers was to rest. Finn was on communication duty, so when she saw Puckerman sitting down on one of the Jeeps with a notepad and pen in hand she knew it was something serious.

Puck wrote home at any chance he could get and from the years Santana's known him, Quinn always kept him updated with anything new that he didn't already know. It was like they were pen pals, only married to one another. She always loved the relationship they have together and now after seeing it in person, she loved it even more.

She takes a seat next to him and see's several lines written, only when she glances up to the top line it doesn't say Quinn or any pet names that could hint the letter is to the blonde nor does it give any indication that it's to Beth either, but:

_Santana_

"What are you doing?" She asks curious as to why he's wasting paper on her when she's there. It didn't add up and when his pen halted in the middle of word for just a moment, he finished the word then looked up to meet her brown eyes.

He sighs deeply, running his hand over his buzzed head. "Man," he says, rocking back and forth slowly to try and form the words properly. "Have you ever wondered if these were your last days, if you did everything you wanted to do or said everything you wanted to say?" He asked and Santana thought for a moment this was a joke. Puck wasn't one to be insightful nor take things so seriously, but this was in fact a moment where he wasn't being his normal goofy self.

"What brought this all out?" She didn't understand—first at the playground and now this, Santana is concerned about him and where his head is at.

He looks down at the notepad. "It's just that things are about to get more serious. With the radio communication that Hudson received, I don't know—I feel like some shit is about to go down and I want to be prepared for the worst," he tells her and Santana pulls him by his shoulder to meet her eyes intensely.

"Puck, you are not going to die out here, do you understand me? You have a wife and a daughter to go back to, so please just stop thinking this way," Santana tries desperately to drill that into his head, but he just turns back to his notepad. "And at any rate, what shit haven't you told me that you must write in a letter?"

He smiles softly, before meeting her gaze again. "You have two letters actually," he corrects and her eyes widen only slightly, before letting him continue. "I've marked them one and two. You read the first one instantly and the second one you'll just have to find the right time to, but don't just pick it up and read it right after the first one, just give it time, okay?" He instructs her and she looks at him like she's about to be sick. She gulps at what he's telling her—this is serious to him. She couldn't just turn away, so she nods finally and he smiles widely at her.

"Now the other two are for Quinn and Beth," he says as he holds the other two envelops in his hand to show he already wrote them. "Now you should write some," he concludes, ripping the other letter off the notepad and handing it to Santana. She immediately shakes her head, holding her hands up.

"No—no I have nothing to say," she insists, but he places it on her lap anyway with the pen on top of the pad. He walks away without another word and she watches him go with the four envelops back into his tent. Santana sits there with this blank paper and realizes it's not that she doesn't have anything to say, it's that she doesn't want anything to be final. These letters that Puck wrote feel like suicide letters and that scared her. She didn't want to die yet and she knew Puck didn't either, but she finally understood why he was doing this. He was preparing for the worst because somehow not seeing action your entire term is consider not normal and with this being his final tour, he just felt like things weren't going to be so easy. She believed he sensed this five weeks prior—after all they've been back for about two weeks now, but Santana had hope that things were going to be okay; everything just had to be.

…

**SOMEWHERE IN THE MIDDLE EAST, IRAQ –0200 HOURS**

"_Everybody up! Up let's go! Let's go!" _shouting could be heard all over camp and Santana is awoken when the screaming flows into the opening of her tent. Her other tent mate wakes instantly and they start to get dressed, before making their way outside. They see everyone making their way around the camp, putting their tents down and hauling their weaponry to each soldier. Santana's eyes widen at the sudden commotion—it's not even daylight out and she probably only received two hours of sleep before finally getting woken up.

She sees Finn getting his helmet on, knowing he has to know what is going on. She advances towards him and turns him towards her. "Santana we have move quickly," he says urgently, trying to walk around her.

"What is going on?" She demands as he tries to get around her so he can help the rest of the troop. "Finn! Tell me what the fuck is going on?" She tries again and it knocks him out of his thoughts to bring him back to her vision.

He sighs deeply, bouncing quickly for a moment on the balls of his feet. "We're under siege which means we're in range for an attack and we're on their turf. We need to hurry before we get into something we have not gotten into before," he explains and Santana's eyes widen for a moment, turning around to see if she can locate Puck. His worries are becoming a reality and she wanted to make sure she wasn't the one to deliver those letters—that no one had to.

She ran around grabbing baggage and placing it on the Jeep before getting equipped with a gun, then placing her helmet on. She sighs deeply when she sees some of the other men get in the Jeep in to what little space they had left. She starts walking instantly in the darkness. She places their night vision goggles on to inspect the area. Her job in the platoon is to be a lookout. She's one of the best and when it comes time to act fast, she had the fastest time in trial runs.

She takes a deep breath and quickly makes her way in front of everything, motioning for the Jeep to start moving along with the rest of the platoon. She spots Puck just behind her with a blank expression. They haven't spoken since they got the orders, but it's just because of the entire commotion of it all—they just didn't get a chance.

She keeps her eyes peeled forward inspecting all the sand dunes for any movement that looked human like and not animal. She kept it slow and let her senses do the guiding. Everything was eerily quiet now that they were packed up and moving at a snail like pace. They have to be precise when it came to moving. Santana didn't want to alarm anyone, but she knew they were already in the nest of the Iraqi military, so in order to keep things moving smoothly they had to be slow to not create any attention to themselves.

She stops suddenly, holding her gloved hand out to give them the signal. Her head moves down slowly to the red dot laying just above her chest, she gulps slowly. She's aware that this is what happens before you die. They say your life flashes before you or your mind wanders to the one thing you can't stop thinking about—but she couldn't bring herself to do either one, so she turns around facing her platoon with her hands up, holding her gun's butt behind her head.

"Under siege!" she yells turning around and locating the rifleman in the darkness, hitting him in the arm. Bullets are thrown out instantly, but before she could get herself under control from the first man she's ever shot—she's hit—she's hit three times. Her body hits the floor and it's like slow motion from then on. Suddenly the bullets are no longer loud and ringing. Everything is just a daze and her mind is fading fast.

She's not sure how long she laid there for till she felt someone start to drag her. Her eyes squint up and she sees Puck, breathing heavily, trying to pull her to safety.

"San, hold on I got you bro—," he tells her as he keeps dragging her. She keeps her eyes up at him and he does his best to keep his eyes on her. He places her down on the ground and holds his gun out to fire at some enemies, before continuing on his quest to bring her to safety.

She's losing a lot of blood and she isn't sure how many times she's been shot, but her eyes begin to close and he begins to yell. "Santana, you hang in there! I got you babe—," he picks her up and pulls her on his shoulders and suddenly just like that, she feels more pain hit her, forcing how a grueling yell and cries.

"Fuck!" He screams when he, himself feels something rip into him, but he can't stop now. He has to save her—he promised he would try.

Safety was too far though and both were fading far too quickly, so Puck brought Santana down to the ground and laid her on her back. She groans in pain as she stares up at the night sky—the stars were shining bright tonight and she does her best to stay focused on the stars. She feels weight on top of her and the hugging of her body. She can feel each bullet ripping into Puck and his grunts. She closes her eyes for one final time, hoping the pain would subside.

…

_**PRESENT DAY…**_

Finn sits at Santana's side, holding her hand. He's been at her side for the last week since she's been in here. She lost a lot of blood and needed a transfusion in order to keep her alive. She hasn't woken up since the attack and Finn honestly thought he lost her out there. She fired her gun without order, but he knew she did the right thing—if she didn't either way the outcome would have turned out the same.

He sighs deeply, resting his head on his arm, before he feels slight pressure coming from the other hand. He looks up and sees Santana's eyes fluttering open, taking in the room along with the beeping of the machines. He breaths out a smile and relief washes over him, just as her eyes land on him. He hands her water, knowing she needs it. She hasn't drunk anything in over a week and he knew she had a lot of questions.

"I'm so thankful you are okay," he says softly as she hands the water back to him. She licks her dry lips and shifts in her bed, wincing at the pain that hits her.

"What the doctors say?" She asks, her voice still slightly raspy, but still normal nevertheless. She remembers all that occurred, but everything else was blank.

Finn looked down and shook his head. "Um—you were shot six times San. The fact that you survived was a miracle in itself; all within torso and back range, but they did a blood transfusion to rebuild your strength and blood activity, but they said that once they consider you well enough, they'll be transferring you back to the states," he explains and Santana nods slowly, listening to each word he said. Her thoughts wander to Quinn and how she promised her to stay safe and unharmed, but also to protect Puck.

"And Puck—where is he?" She asks in small voice and Finn's mouth gaps slightly. He lets out a deep breath, closing his mouth tight. He gulps at her question and he suddenly doesn't feel so thankful. Puck is a good friend of his too, but their friendship is nothing in comparison to Santana's and his.

"San—," he says stopping himself short. He licks his lips finally meeting her gaze. "San—Puck—he—San, Puck's DIA; he didn't make it," he finally musters and Santana's mouth drops as her eyes begin to gloss over. Her heart feels like it's being crushed in her chest.

"No—," she whispers and Finn shakes his head with a pained expression. "No—no—no, you're lying Finn, please," she whimpers.

He gets up and wraps his arms around her, hugging her tightly as she sobs into him. "I'm so sorry," his voice breaks and she begins to scream into his chest, letting out every emotion she could muster or handle. "Nooo!" She bawls loudly.

She felt helpless and all she could think about was his family and what the hell she was going to tell them. How she could walk up to them and tell Beth that her daddy won't be coming home or how Quinn won't wake up next to her husband anymore.

It killed her inside and it forces out a final scream through her lungs.


	7. Chapter VII

**I apologize for the delay of this chapter. It's Summertime, which means my hours have been picked up significantly at work and my grandmother did pass away. I am okay, so don't worry about me. I finally got this done and I do hope you all enjoy it. The chapters will hopefully get easier to write and I will have a question set up on my profile. It's just a little tidbit that I'm trying to decide if I should add or not; it's a poll question so PLEASE ANSWER IT. **

**Also, I did get several messages on here and though I appreciate the messages, please refrain from asking them on here. It's nothing personal, but I am hardly on fanfiction on a personal level unless it's to post and read other stories. I can't answer from my phone so it's incredibly difficult to reply. I have a Tumblr so ask them on there seeing as I can answer through the app and what not; I have anonymous up, so having no account is not an issue. With that, sorry for the long author's note. Thank you for your patience, reviews, reads, favorites, alerts, and so on. Keep reading and enjoying, and I'll update hopefully quicker.**

_Chapter VII_

It's been a few weeks since the attack and Santana is still overseas. She's not entirely sure what hospital she's in, but she knows it's American based. She's sitting up in her bed in complete in utter silence as she scans over all the pale white walls again. Her head hurts from the immediate thought of Puck, but her mind can only venture to him—how it should've been him at least in this bed instead of herself.

Then—stars come into her mind. They were bright the night of the attack—so calming and serene. As she laid there, trying to focus on anything, but the pain shooting through her body; the fact that she was slowly fading out to the guns being fired and the sounds of bullets hitting her best friend while he laid on top of her.

She sniffles, wiping furiously at the tears threatening to spill out of her eyes. She turns her head to four envelopes on the table next to her bed. Finn brought them in the other day, stating they were in Puck's belongings and saw two addressed to her. She hasn't willed herself to open them because then his death would be final. She's not ready to let go of him when he was perfectly okay a month or two ago, aside from his inner fears of getting under attack.

But then there's Beth—and Quinn. She's sure by now that the military have delivered the news about Puck's death and yet she feels like a coward for not doing it before they could. How can she face Quinn again knowing she didn't keep her promise? How could she have even promised something like that anyway? It's Quinn's eyes—they're hopeful and full of emotions that can only be seen by just simply staring at her eyes; she won't show it anywhere else. Santana's learned firsthand about that when they fought about Jordan.

She lets out another sigh, before picking up the envelopes. She sifts through the small pile as she locates one with her name on it and with the number 1 in its left corner. She licks her lips as she pulls at the seam, ripping it open to pull the paper out. Her eyes scan over the penmanship and it breaks her heart all over again, before jumping into the words that he left.

_Santana,_

_I know I never call you by your full name unless it's something serious, but I guess it is now, isn't it? You're reading this, which means I've gone to either the fiery pits of Hell or I'm a badass in Heaven. I'm Jewish, but my lady was Christian, so I got to believe in some form of afterlife, right? Don't worry, I won't bore you with all this bull, but I guess I'll start by saying something you're probably beating yourself up for._

_This wasn't your fault. I love you and you're my girl, and yes we look out for each other, but just because I don't know how this happened, whether you were too far away or I stepped on a mine or some shit (you know I'm clumsy), doesn't mean you should be blaming yourself. You're stronger than that and remember I got your back and you got mine, so just realize sometimes things just don't happen the way we want them to. _

_Speaking of got your back, I know this means you'll do anything for me because I know I would do anything for you when it came down to it, so I need a favor. I need you to take care of Beth and Quinn for me. I'm all they've known and when I brought you home, you are someone else my daughter has grown to adore. They need you and I need you to do this for me. You're the type of person that my daughter needs as a role model. You're the type of person that I want Quinn to go to for advice and a shoulder to cry on when she needs it. I don't think I need to beg for you to do this, but I still needed to bust out all the stops to convince you. _

_I have faith in you and you should start to believe that too. Again I love you! _

_Take care of yourself bro!_

—_Puck_

Santana closes her eyes tightly, preventing the overflow of tears as a sob racks through her body. Even with Puck's words on paper, she cannot blame herself for his death; had she just been fast enough to get out of the firing zones; had she been strong enough to bring herself to safety, maybe just maybe they both would've made it.

There's a soft knock at the door and a woman in a lab coat walks in with a chart in hand. Santana acknowledges her as she checks her viles and heart monitor, writing it down on the chart silently. Santana sniffles, wiping her tears away again. She knew this woman was her doctor, but she didn't need someone she barely knows to see her so upset.

"Well Santana it looks like you're getting much stronger," she sighs as she makes complete eye contact with the soldier in bed. Santana remains silent though—she knew there was more, but at the same time she had no words to express. Ever since discovering Puck's death, she hasn't said much to anyone; not even Finn.

"We want to send you back to the States," she adds and Santana finally clears her throat to show she understands without physically voicing it. "So we'll be shipping you to California by Friday where you'll immediately work on physical therapy, do you have any questions?"

Santana sits there for a moment longer in silence, pondering all she's said. She really wanted to get out of this bed and back to reality, but then everything seemed so final. She'd be back in her crap apartment with nobody there to help her or awaiting for her arrival. She'd be cooped up on the couch watching television and ordering takeout till she saw herself fit to finally move around, then something else hit her.

Her fingertips still held Puck's letter, scanning over its words like she's trying to memorize its content. She sighs softly, nodding to him as if he's standing right before her—and maybe he is, if she believed in the supernatural enough.

She finally looks over at her doctor, waiting for her to finally speak. "Yes ma'am, but is it possible that you ship me off to Columbus, Ohio instead?"

…

**COLUMBUS, OHIO**

Three weeks. It's been three weeks since Quinn got the knock on her door and on the other side were two commanding officers. She didn't even let them speak before she started crying. She's seen the movies before when two officers show up to your house—she knew it was about Puck dying in combat. It tore her apart inside to the point where she felt like she was suffocating with them there. She was just thankful Beth was with Jake and Marley at the time. They told her if she needed anything they were just a phone call away and that they were sorry for her loss, then left silently.

Beth was now in school and Quinn refused to go to work in the state she was in. She was exhausted preparing for Puck's funeral and dealing with telling everyone close to them of his passing. It was only then when she told Jordan during a certain time when she was dropping Beth off at school that she thought about Santana. The officers never told her of her status and yet it made her stomach drop at the thought that she could possibly have to bury them side by side.

She licks her lips, tapping her fingers against her knee before calling the base here in Ohio. She didn't think they would give her much information because she wasn't exactly family, but she had to at least try. She sighs deeply, closing her eyes and praying to God that the government would not only cooperate, but also that the news was at least good news. Being devastated about her husband's death is obvious, but she's grown to enjoy having Santana around and losing her too just couldn't be an option.

She calls the number the two soldiers gave her and waits for someone to answer; when someone does she recognizes the name instantly. "William Shuester," he says strongly and Quinn clears her throat.

"Hi yes, this is Quinn Puckerman," she states, even though she kept her maiden name she found it was much easier to just to state her last name using her husband's.

"Right, I am again sorry for your loss ma'am," he begins and she sighs, nodding into the receiver.

"Thank you sir, I appreciate you coming all the way to Ohio to deliver the news, but you did say if I needed anything to call, so I do need a favor if it isn't too much to ask," she begins waiting for his confirmation before launching into her numerous questions.

"Oh absolutely, anything!"

She exhales deeply through her nose, before speaking. "Noah's best friend was in his platoon with him and I just wanted to know her status. Her name is Santana Lopez. I just want to know if she's alive and okay," she presses, silently begging in her undertone.

She hears the squeaking of his chair, which must meant he's leaning back. She waits patiently for him to respond as he lets out a soft breath. "She is—alive; however she's spent three weeks in our hospital overseas. She was just shipped back to the states yesterday to a rehab center in Columbus. She has orders to do physical therapy there till the therapist says she's fit to leave,"

"She was injured?" She asks quietly, hoping she isn't temporarily paralyzed. She knows how that feels to be in a wheelchair for months on end after suffering a severe car accident, just before her pregnancy with Beth.

"Yes ma'am—she was shot several times, but six actually made contact with her body. She should make a full recovery according to the doctors," he states easily and it pushes a breath of relief out of Quinn. She sighs, her eyes watering with happiness; she thanks him and asks the name of the rehab center, before bidding him goodbye.

She licks her lips and checks her watch—it's a little after one, so she gets up and walks out of the house with her keys. She walks swiftly to her car and gets in, ready to venture towards the rehab center. She isn't sure what she's going to say to the other girl or even if she's going to say anything at all. She just had to see her and at least make sure she's okay.

…

"You're doing great Santana. Just a few more steps," her therapist says as she walks along the mat with two railings on either side of her. She winces as she slowly but surely makes her way across, holding the railings firmly to keep balance. Braces accessorize her legs as pain slowly courses through her entire body as she tries to remind herself why she is doing this, then the thought of being wheelchair bound for the rest of her life because of lack of strength in her legs just doesn't seem so worthwhile when she has a chance of regaining full feeling.

Once she gets to the end, she notices a red head standing at the door of the open space, watching her move across. She tries not to focus because of what she is doing, especially if she wants to reenlist. She's been giving the idea a toss in her head and she's coming to the conclusion that it's something she'd really prefer to do because what other life does she have—nobody else wants her around anyway; nobody really cares what she does; even though that stings a little bit.

"All right Santana, you can sit down now," her therapist brings the wheelchair around for her to take a seat, which she gratefully accepts, sighing as her butt hits the seat. The woman walks fully in, giving her therapist a nod and a wink before advancing towards the fallen soldier.

"Santana Lopez, I presume?" Santana sits there for a moment, seeing as the woman already knows who she is. "I'm Emma Pillsbury and I was assigned to you to offer any potential counseling you may need. I've been notified of your friend's passing and how close you were, and that you two were in the same platoon; same vicinity—,"

"Look ma'am—that won't be necessary," she holds her hand up, wheeling herself back a little bit to regain some space from Emma. She doesn't need some stranger to sit in front of her and listen to her spill her issues out, when there is nothing to discuss. Puck is dead and she needs to accept that—she already slowly has, but she doesn't need to let this woman dissect her like she's an insect under a microscope.

Emma sighs deeply, before nodding regrettably. "Though I tend to disagree, I will not pressure you into something you aren't willing to agree to; however, here is my card and if you do decide to change your mind, sessions are paid in full by the government and you're welcomed to call my office," she holds the flimsy cardboard out to her and Santana takes it between her fingertips as the woman advances out of the therapy room, leaving Santana to sit there.

She looks at the card for a moment, the lettering embedding itself in her brain, before she hears the clearing of someone's throat. She turns around and is met with Quinn staring back at her. Her whole body just wants to shut down with how many emotions are coursing through her at this moment. Waves of guilt, fear, and even happiness are flooding together all at once, before she sighs deeply.

"Is this a bad time?" Quinn asks softly, her voice forcing a ringing through her ears as it soothes Santana's thoughts.

She's hesitant, but shakes her head, signaling for the blonde to walk in slowly. She sits down in the chair adjacent to Santana's wheelchair, taking in her physical attributes. A couple of healing scars lay upon her face, but everything else is hidden, so she licks her lips, smiling softly.

"I'm sorry I broke my promise," Santana is the first to break the silence, looking down in deep regret. Puck continues to plague her mind and now with his wife—_widow_ in front of her, it only fuels that guilt, especially when she promised to keep him safe.

Quinn brushes her thumb under Santana's left eye, not realizing she started to cry. "San there is nothing you could've done," she whispers, lowering her head to try and meet Santana's eyes. The brunette finally meets her stare and she can fully see that Quinn has no resentment towards her and for his death, but it didn't make her feel any better.

"You weren't there," her voice trembles and Quinn sighs a shaky, deep breath, blinking and nodding to her response.

"You're right and I'm not sure I want to know what happened out there, but I don't want you to feel guilty for something you had no control over. You didn't kill him and that's something you need to remind yourself of. I was worried about you and I don't want you to think I hate you or anything,"

Santana sighs and maybe Quinn is right, but she can't let her know that she is because she hasn't even really come to terms that her best friend's death can be justified at all. The fact is that she was there to physically feel his pain and feel the weight of his body; she was there for his last breath, even if she wasn't coherent. No one else knows how that feels, but herself and that within itself hurts more than any bullet she took.

"I know it doesn't mean much right now, but we're here for you—Beth and I. We care about you and even if you don't feel like it, you're a part of this family no matter what," she licks her lips and stands up to press her lips to Santana's forehead, before slowly making her way out of the room silently.

"Jordan was worried about you when she found out about Puck," she says behind Santana. "I'll let her know you're doing okay," she adds softly, before officially advancing out of the physical therapy without another word. Santana sighs again, closing her eyes to the sound of silence. She didn't know what else to say to Quinn, except that she was sorry, but then Beth's face popped into her head. She'll never see her daddy again and he'll never be able to see her grow up or talk her down the aisle on her wedding day. It broke her heart to know that he'll be missing a lot of firsts with her –more firsts than he's already missed when he was on tours.

Then his letter to her comes into her mind; the words flowing through her brain as if by memory and he was reciting them right now into her ears. Her eyes open faintly and tiredly. When he asked her to promise to look after his family when he was gone, that was one promise she wasn't going to break, so she wheels herself forward to the railings and steps up to them and begins walking across the mat. She needed to get stronger for them and for herself. She needed to make things right for Puck and to do that she needed to get out of this hospital.

Quinn's final words directly to her raced through her brain like a train going wild on its tracks. The fact of the matter is, what Quinn said meant everything right now. Her words gave her strength to do this. She needed to move forward and she damn well was going to walk out of this place. She wasn't going to get wheeled out and she sure as hell wasn't walking out on crunches; not even fucking limping! She was going to walk out with her head held high and as if she wasn't shot six times. She wanted to be Beth to think of her as her hero.


	8. Chapter VIII

**I apologize for the long wait for this update. There are just times where I'd rather be out than be writing; it's nothing personal, but it keeps me sane. That's my only excuse; that and of course work. It sucks, but anyway. I hope this chapter hits you guys in the right place and I hope that the updates get quicker on my part. Now that things are going to progress from here, hopefully it'll get easier to write. So please review and let me know what you think.**

**Chapter VIII**

It was Saturday and as she stood in front of her full view mirror, wearing black for the unfortunate occasion she was about to partake in, it was slowly starting to eat away her insides. Her mother drove from Lima as well as Puck's mother and sister. It wasn't something that should bring a family together, but sometimes under circumstances it just happens.

Puck's mother adored both Beth and Quinn—his sister thought she was too good for her brother, which always made her smile, and Puck just run after her to playfully beat her up. Quinn's mother wasn't too keen on the Puckerman family in general, knowing where they came from, but after Beth was born she knew they'd be a part of her life no matter what. Of course after explaining to her mother that Puck's mother was a single mother of two, trying to live day to day on several jobs because Puck's father was never there for them, made her rethink everything entirely.

She straightens her blouse, licking her lips, before walking out of her bedroom. She advances towards the living room to see her mother with Beth on her knee, both dressed for the funeral as Beth shows her grandma some of her toys. She takes in the scene, smiling at how well her mom interacts with her little girl. Everyone tried to keep the news at a bare minimum in front of Beth. Telling her that her daddy wasn't coming back home was probably the hardest thing for her to ever do—Beth didn't cry though and why would she? She didn't quite understand, in fact it was Quinn crying because the realization actually hit her that her husband was not returning.

"You guys ready?" She clears her throat as she finally makes herself known. Both blondes look up and nod—Judy offering her a smile as much as she could, knowing how devastating this is for her daughter. She disliked Puck originally, but when she found out about him enlisting and actually asking for her permission to marry Quinn, she knew she was far too quick to judge a book by its cover.

"I was showing grandma my picture that I did at school yesterday," Beth tells her mommy and Quinn smiles warmly at her, remembering well that when she picked her up she showed her the family portrait she did of the two of them, but next to them was a man drawn with a green uniform with little wings on them and even next to the man was a woman in green too, and all she could remember thinking was _Santana_.

She tears up just remembering the picture which was granted stick figures, but it hung on the fridge proudly so. She wipes her eyes furiously and picks up her baby, kissing her softly. "It was beautiful baby," she whispers as she feels Judy place a hand on her back, rubbing it gently as they make their way out of the house.

After getting Beth into her booster seat, Judy insists on driving to the cemetery, which Quinn had zero energy to argue that she was fine to drive, so she just handed her keys over to her mom and got into the passenger seat.

…

Upon arriving everyone significant in both of their lives were there to attend the funeral, including some military personal. It would be a true falling soldier kind of funeral that the government paid for in full. She was nervous to see everyone—she kind of avoided many of her friends, except to tell them what happened, but she just wasn't ready to talk to anyone. She honestly didn't want to deal with the pity that she knew would be given left and right—of course she'll have no choice when it comes to today.

The ceremony begins as she stands in front of the casket that hosts an American flag on top with Beth standing in front of her, being on her best behavior. She scans the area and sees Jake next to Marley with their hands clasped together, standing next to him is Puck's mother and sister, with tears in their eyes. Everyone listened to the prayers in both English and Hebrew out of respect for both sides of religion. Everyone showed up, even Jordan who had her daughter next to her. She really wasn't a bad person, but she just couldn't shake the jealousy anytime she saw her, but she definitely was grateful for her coming to pay her respects.

In the distance though, she had to squint otherwise she would've missed it, but she could see a girl with her hair down in slacks and a button down with her hands in her pockets. She was almost too far to make out her features, but she had a strange feeling that it was Santana. She was still in rehab though, right?

When everyone started to move around, it wasn't until Quinn noticed the girl in the distance limping away from the scene that she realized that it was definitely her. She began to tear up that Santana even tried to come, but didn't want to get too close. She knew that the other girl felt guilty and responsible for her husband's death, but she knew no amount of telling her would make it go away.

"Hey," Quinn turns around and is met with Jordan, pulling her into a soft embrace. Though Quinn was slightly uncomfortable by the endearing gesture, she lets her. "How are you coping?" She asks her after pulling away and Quinn nods semi distantly, staring off at the spot she knew Santana once stood.

"I'm trying to be strong for Beth, you know. She doesn't fully understand, but I know she's starting to," she says softly, putting a falling blonde lock behind her ear. Jordan nods with a tight lipped expression, letting the other woman talk. They weren't close by any means but she liked to believe she was good hearted. Anytime anyone needed support or left a lasting impression on her life, she was there for them regardless, even if Quinn tried to keep her distance from her—she was sure why though.

"Understandable," she says as she slowly makes her way across the grass as people stop them for a brief moment to pay their respects to Quinn. "Oh hey—I hope you don't mind, but I went to see Santana a few days ago. I told her that the funeral was today—she said the physical therapists probably wouldn't let her leave based on her strength. I guess she was right," she says the last part quietly, but Quinn stops briefly, biting her bottom lip. She shouldn't start smiling, but she looks to the ground to hide the small grin threatening to make its way to the surface.

…

"You shouldn't have left," her therapist starts grinding into her brain as she walks with the walker across the open space of the therapy room. She winces slightly, rolling her eyes with a huff.

"I had to. You may not understand this, but I had to be there. He was my best friend and I owned it to him to be there," she explains and slowly steps forward, using her upper body strength to keep herself balanced.

"It conflicts with your progress. You weren't strong enough yet to walk without anything supporting you," he says and brings the wheelchair to have her sit down. She sets herself down and he wheels her to the side as he walks away to get all her paperwork figured out for the next therapy session.

She wasn't wrong for leaving against their will. She went to the funeral for herself and for Puck. She couldn't just let Quinn or anyone else think she didn't care when she cared more than they realized. She is stuck in here for months till she can walk on her own. She feels herself getting stronger and stronger with each step she took and she didn't think herself leaving for the service was hindering any progress she's made. It's just irrational to think she had to be cooped up in this place for months, so she was certainly going to disobey orders.

"What a hard ass huh?" She turns her head to a short blonde haired guy, sitting in his own chair. His leg is missing and she nods, gulping slightly as his prosthetic leg sat next to him. She was lucky and she knew that, but it haunted her with each person she passed in this veteran rehabilitation center that she could've had it worse or even worse.

"Yeah for sure," she agrees quietly as he holds his hand out to her.

"I'm Sam—lost my leg after stepping on a makeshift mine," she scrunches her nose up as if it was her pain. He chuckled at her response, having a sense of humor about it she supposed a good thing, but she didn't understand how any of it was funny. "I wasn't meant for combat. I didn't look where I was going clearly," he breathed out as she nods to herself.

It's then that she notices his giant lips. "I suppose you should've used your lips as radar," she jests and he starts to smile, biting her bottom lip to prevent the return of her grin. "I'm Santana," she takes his hand finally, making him nod.

"What happened to you? Overall you look fine, which is a good thing," he asks and she sighs deeply. She hated revisiting this, but she supposed it was better than reliving it in therapy with Fire Crotch.

"My platoon got ambushed and I was the lookout. I noticed I was on target, so I acted fast and ended up getting hit six times through my gear," she gave him the short version, saving the detail of losing Puck. She wished she just didn't fire her gun first because maybe then she would've lost her life and Puck would still be here. Her bottom lip began to tremble as she thought back to all the what ifs—anything she could've prevented.

"That's rough," he sighs running his hand through his hair and she eyes him in disbelief. The guy lost his leg out in combat and he's talking about the roughness of her injuries. She doesn't think she'll ever fully understand the thought process people go through on a daily basis. She even finds it hard to deal with her own on most days, but here she is talking to a guy she barely knows and he's feeling sorry for her and she can't even feel sorry for him—it's like her emotions shut down suddenly.

"How can you say that?" She asks after a moment of silence surrounded them in the empty therapy room. He looks at her questionably before shrugging slightly, turning his chair to face her. His eyes shined with so much hope and she wondered what he saw when he looked into hers. She felt dead inside and even going to the funeral made her feel worse. It's like she had no amount of hope that the pain nor the guilt she feels will ever go away.

"I believe we've survived some crazy shit—shit that others wouldn't even begin to understand. We've been through hell and back, but we're the only few that made it out alive," he begins using his hands for emphasis, hoping she'll be able to understand what he's saying to her. "I'm not much for faith, but I believe there is a higher power than us—we're alive for a reason Santana. Whether we think we deserve it or not, we're here because we're not finished in this life. There's more that I'm just waiting to see and I can't wait for that moment when I can walk outside and feel the sun resting on my face, not worrying about stepping on mines or bullets coming at me. It's just believing we have something to live for and finding what that something is," he explains as she sits back in her chair pondering his words, before she shifts forward on it up to the makeshift stairs with railings on either side.

She pulls herself up and winces slightly as the pain becomes less bearable, before sliding up straight and taking slow steps up the stairs till she reaches the stop, then turning around to go back down. She didn't know that Sam saying something as profound as he did could leave such an impact on her so instantly, but it triggered something in her that told her that this isn't the life she wanted to live. The guilt that washes over her every day is going to stick to her for as long as she allowed it to, but she knew this was something Puck didn't want for her, so she had to change it. He'd want the best for her and getting stronger is something that could push her in the right direction—she owed him that much.

…

**TWO WEEKS LATER…**

It's late on a Sunday night and Quinn just finished putting Beth to bed with a story followed by a goodnight kiss. She notices that Beth begins to play with her bracelet that she helped her make looking deep in thought. Quinn knew Beth was wise beyond her years and she knew hiding certain things like Puck's passing was something she could not do, so she told her the truth.

"What's wrong baby?" She asks with a soothing tone, rubbing small circles on her tummy, noticing the way her bottom lip juts out when she's thinking hard—smiling softly to herself knowing that bottom lip is all Puck.

"I know Daddy isn't coming back, but—what about Santa?" She's tired and the older blonde knows that, but even with the tiredness threatening to take her daughter into her dreams, it's Santana who is on her mind though she's positive she's been on it quite a bit this month.

Quinn rests her palms on Beth's belly, placing her chin on top of them as to not hurt her, debating on how she could go about this. She isn't certain on what to say to the little girl, though she knows anything she does say she'll understand. She licks her lips thoughtfully, meeting the matching hazel eyes that are much like her own.

"Santana got hurt honey, but she's okay," she tells her quietly. "She's just trying to get better right now before she sees any of us," she adds, knowing that's the best she can come up with during this time with the amount of information she does have.

"Doesn't she love us?" She asks in a sad undertone as Quinn shushes her with those negative thoughts. She can't speak for Santana about herself because even though she knows the other girl appreciates her kindness the last time she was here, she isn't sure love constitutes her feelings, but as for Beth she knows that her little girl left a lasting impression on the female soldier—she could see that in her eyes and actions anytime they were together.

"I don't want you to ever think that way, okay?" She tells her, leaning forward to press a kiss to her forehead, running her hand through her blonde hair. "She loves you very much, but she wants to be strong for you, but that means you've got to be strong for her like you are for me, okay? Can you be strong for us both?" She asks and Beth nods almost immediately, making Quinn smile and kiss her one last time. "Now get some sleep baby, you've got school in the morning," she tells her as she gets up and starts to walk out.

"Mommy," Quinn turns around as she's about to shut the door, her nightlight illuminating the dark room just enough. "Is it okay to cry sometimes even though you're strong?" Quinn's bottom lip trembles as she blinks back tears that are threatening to spill out, before she nods furiously to her daughter. Seeing the way she's bundled in her bed makes her look so small, especially when she asks such questions.

"Always baby and even if you do, you're still the strongest person I know," she states before, leaving the door ajar to walk into her room, feeling her chest tighten at Beth's words. She wipes frantically at her tears as she changes into her tank and shorts, just as she's about to get into bed there's a soft knock at the front door.

She checks the time—it's a little after ten, but she ruffles her hair and pads towards the door. She opens it and is met with Santana standing in front of her with hands stuffed in a jacket pocket. She looks exhausted, but Quinn admits she looks better than the last time she saw her. She bites her bottom lip, sighing deeply.

"I got released around six this evening and I kind of just been roaming around till I finally found the right words to say to you," she begins as Quinn's confusion begins to make itself known on her face. One thing Santana's noticed about the other woman is that even if she won't tell you through words how she's feeling—her eyes and face are where you need to look in order to find your answers.

"Come in," she says quietly, stepping aside but Santana holds her hand up in her pocket to shake it in a declination.

"I can't stay, but I guess I just came here to tell you that I appreciate everything you've done for me in the past, but more than that I appreciate that you have no animosity towards me because of what happened to him. I wish I tried—everything I could to keep my promise to you to keep him safe, but I failed you and for that I apologize," she says and Quinn looks down licking her lips.

"You hold too much guilt for something you couldn't control, but you're right I don't blame you for this. I knew what he was getting into when he enlisted—it's why I slapped him for it, because I knew I could get news that he wasn't coming back; we all fear that as wives, but it's what he thought was right and I couldn't question is judgment especially when he was showing a service to his country. It made him better and for that I couldn't hate him or not love him for it. You have to understand that Santana," Quinn explains as she rests her body against the door frame as Santana leans against the wood railing for the porch.

"It doesn't get any easier, does it?" She asks and Quinn looks down, blowing a puff of air out of her mouth, shaking her head.

"It does I suppose," Santana stares intently at the blonde shifting before her. "Some days are easier than others. There are times where you are accepting of fate while other times you never want to get out of bed and face the world, but when you have a four year old daughter you don't have much of a choice," she finishes thoughtfully, meeting Santana's brown pools.

"How is she?" She breaths out and Quinn sighs deeply, shrugging because after her conversation with her daughter not too long ago, what is she supposed to say to the subject of the matter?

"She misses her dad, but—she also misses her best friend," she begins and Santana blinks, looking down at the way her feet make the floorboards creak under her weight. "She wants to see you, but I figure when you thought it was the right time you'd show up,"

"Bet you didn't assume at ten—fifteen at night though," she grumbles and Quinn chuckles softly—her reaction even makes Santana crack small smile. "I'll see her soon," she says softly and Quinn nods her acknowledgment.

"I also came to give you these," she clears her throat as she takes the two letters addressed to Quinn and Beth, handing them to the blonde. Both envelopes have a hint of orange on them from the desert sand, but overall they remained in good condition—Santana made sure of that. "He told me to wait for the right time, but I honestly am not sure I have authority over that, so I'm giving them to you now. I believe you can decide when you think it's right to open yours and when you think it's right for Beth to have hers," she concludes, nodding towards the two letters clasped in the blonde's hand.

"Thank you," she whispers to her and Santana nods, before turning around and stepping down the steps. Quinn watches her walk away as if she had no injuries whatsoever, causing her heart to pound in her chest. As Santana fades into the darkness she casts another glance down at the letters in her hands, before walking back inside, shutting and locking the door behind her.

When she gets back in her room, she places the letters in her night table draw, then turns the light off on top of it and lays down to fall asleep. She wasn't ready to face the reality of what that letter says, but she was grateful that Santana gave her the choice as sleep took over her body with thoughts of all kinds circling through her mind.

Santana walks up the familiar steps of the apartment building she's only been to once in her life, knocking softly. She wasn't sure why she decided to come here of all places, but she wasn't ready to offer herself on a platter practically to Quinn. It wasn't up to the blonde to neither house her nor take care of her, but she also didn't want to be taken care of period. She had nowhere else to go, but she knew this person would allow her to stay for a few days till she got her own place situated.

She sighs deeply, looking around before the door is pushed opened. She meets the long blonde's eyes as she smiles thoughtfully at the brunette before her. She tugs her in by her shift and softly kisses her. Santana places her hands on her hips, turning her way inside as Jordan shuts the door behind her, happy to have the familiar lips attached to her own.


	9. Chapter IX

**This chapter isn't as big as I wanted it to be, but I did my best without giving you guys too much that strays from anything making sense. At any rate, Quinn and Santana will get closer the next few chapters and angst will probably get more intense in the next chapter. In the meantime, thank you all for the reviews, messages, alerts, favorites; even just reading. I appreciate them and I hope you guys don't mind this filler that has a little bit of everything you wanted, but maybe one thing you guys kind of hate (some of you like it though). Anything you guys need to ask or say, please, please if you want me to get back to you sooner than later, ask on Tumblr. I can't stress that enough because I do not have wifi, but an internet card that I use every now and then, it's just easier for me. Anyway with that said enjoy the chapter!**

**lacksubstance . tumblr . com**

Chapter IX.

With the blinds shut firmly, only bits and pieces of sunlight threatened to kill Santana's sleep with its rays. Her face was buried deep in the scent that is Jordan, but even with the lack of emotion with their relationship, she knew they both cared for one another. Neither one has spoken to each other about where they stood because they've made it mutually clear that there wasn't anything going on between them. Santana barely even knows where she'll be tomorrow and that alone was enough to deal with, especially when Puck rendered her brain speechless; figuratively speaking.

She sighs in contentment, rolling over as she rubs her eyes to meet Jordan sitting on the edge of the bed, nursing a mug. Jordan smiles warmly with her hair tasseled like she had a fitful night of sleep—which she did, clad in a long shirt and boy shorts.

"I made coffee," she says softly, holding her cup up to show Santana, who shakes her head in amazement. "I know don't let it go to your head," she adds, making Santana crack a genuine smile in what felt like forever.

It's understandable why she chose to stay with Jordan last night of all places instead of renting a hotel and it was because there were no conditions—Jordan will gladly open her door to her, but even more so, she made her smile. She made her happy and she needed that again after months of being told not to overwork herself and to not feel guilty; for once she wanted to feel alive again and Jordan gave her that feeling.

"Is that mine?" Her groggy undertone showed that she didn't nearly get enough sleep, but she was awake now and she had plenty of time to sleep when she was dead. Jordan rolls her eyes, before jutting her cup out with a pout.

"Not really, but you can have it," she says leaning forward to capture Santana's lips with her own.

"You don't have to give up your coffee. You already gave up your bed for me last night," Santana presses as she accepts both the kiss and the coffee. Jordan shrugs as she stands up and stretches, letting her shirt rise up just a little bit to show her olive skin.

"I have more and besides the consolation prize for letting you in my bed was so worth it," she smiles and Santana looks down at the mug as she takes a sip. "But you know if you were planning on coming here, I would have just picked you up from the rehab," she adds when Santana places the mug on the night table.

"I had some stuff to take care of," she breaths out as she gets up from the bed to find her white V neck shirt and placing it over her head. Jordan opens her draw and tosses Santana some pajama pants to put on for the time being.

"Namely Quinn, right?" Jordan questions and Santana looks up to meet her eyes for a brief moment, then clears her throat.

"Uh—yeah," she pulls her hair back in a messy bun. "I just needed to figure out what to say to her," she lays back down on the bed with her head against the headboard, pulling her dog tags out of her shirt as she gets comfortable.

"Did everything go okay at least?" Jordan sits down on the end of the bed and Santana looks away, fiddling with her fingers to distract herself really from the question at hand. It went well that was the entire point. She expected her world to come crashing down again and that all the blame would be placed on her—she expected to be slapped across the face by the other blonde, but all she got was kind words and she wasn't sure how to cope with that.

"Yes—and yet I feel she should hate me," Santana confesses, capturing her bottom lip between her teeth as she hears a sigh escape Jordan.

"San—I can't express how difficult it must be for you. You were there as your best friend died and yet your back in the place that holds his greatest loves—that's rough for you, I know that. I don't want to know everything you went through out there, unless you want to tell me one day—that is your choice, but I will never ask; however, with enough knowledge I do have from this, Quinn is a beautiful person inside and out—she'd never blame you for something like this. You weren't holding the gun, right? You weren't the one firing those bullets into him, right? So why should she hate you? Do you want her to hate you?" Jordan rationalizes and Santana shakes her head instantly at the thought of Quinn or even Beth for that matter hating her—in a way she grew fond of Quinn, but adored Beth with every fiber in her being, she couldn't bare the idea of either one of them hating her.

"So accept that she doesn't and move on. It happened and you can't take it back, now all you can do is move forward because even though I didn't know him very well, I would imagine Puck would've wanted that for you—and even for Quinn for that matter, when she's ready, but you—you need to move on from this guilt and live your life," Jordan keeps eye contact through her entire speech and she can see slowly that Santana is crumbling at the seams. She just wants Santana to realize that harboring this guilt will eventually make her self-destruct and she couldn't imagine what Santana would do if she reached that point. She cared for the soldier and she wanted what was best for her—she needed the harsh reality.

"You're right," Santana sniffles as she wipes stray tears that spilled down her cheeks, nodding as if there was a tape player in her head, reciting Jordan's words over and over again till it was engraved in her brain. Jordan moves around and sits as close to Santana as possible, kissing her forehead while running her nails softly down the back of her neck.

"It's time to free yourself from those demons that are killing you inside," Jordan whispers into her ear and Santana wraps her arms around Jordan's waist, letting the blonde comfort her.

…

Santana walks down the familiar street, passing houses left and right that looked almost too similar to her liking. When Puck told her of where he lived, she didn't picture this. She imagined houses that were different and almost none of them were the same color at least, but she stood corrected as she passed all the pale white pristine walls till she reached the one she needed to get to most. As she comes up to it, she sees a tall blonde pushing a smaller blonde on a tire swing outside. Santana smiles softly watching the two of them as Beth begins laughing hysterically when Quinn pushes her up as high as she could go without it being too much for the four year old. Santana slowly began to remember all the times Puck talked about his childhood home in Lima, Ohio—he called in a cow dunk town but he made the most of it by playing on tire swings and ropes that hung over the lake with his friends. She even recalled the time when he mentioned first seeing Quinn on one and how in the moment he knew she was going to damage him for anyone else—then again he was only thirteen at the time, but still he always knew that Quinn and he were going to end up together, and Santana wished more than anything that they stayed together.

She sighed deeply pushing forward further in view as Quinn pulled the tire swing to a stop and made direct eye contact with her, only to have Beth turning around confused; wondering more than anything who was ruining her fun on the swing, but then her eyes lit up _like a Christmas tree_—according to Santana.

Beth pulls her legs out of the tire hole and plops down on the ground then makes a beeline towards Santana, who begins to smile widely as she scoops her up in her arms. "Santa you're home!" She yells and Santana holds her close, tightly locking her eyes to prevent any tears from spilling from her eyes.

"Yeah—yeah I am Smarty," she says breathlessly. Beth pulls away and gets a good look at Santana as she manages to open her eyes to look at the little spitting image of both Puck and Quinn. Beth looks at her curiously, then leans forward and wipes her tears away with her small hands. "Thank you baby," she whispers.

"Don't be sad, I'm here and Mommy's here," she says pointing back at Quinn who too is trying to control her emotions. It manages to get Santana to chuckle softly, then wipe any access tears that threaten to spill out from her eyes that Beth had missed.

"I promise, I won't be sad anymore," she tells the four year old, who smiles widely at the soldier, walking closer to Quinn.

It's much easier to say things to Beth then it is to Quinn and it's even tougher to stand before her and not know how to interact with her. She's taking Jordan's words to heart—it's why she's making the attempt to see them, but she has to keep at least one promise to this family and that is to look after them. She for once enjoyed being around a family that actually accepted her into it—she would go as far as saying she loved them in her own way.

"Are you willing to come in?" Quinn asks as Santana shifts Beth on her hip. She nods almost instantly—wanting to get closer to Quinn because in some way she felt this pull towards her that she couldn't explain, even before Puck's death, she felt drawn to her, whether it was merely from her beauty or just the way she carried herself—hell maybe it was because she was damn good mother, she didn't know, but she wanted to get to know her.

As they walk inside, Santana places Beth down on the floor and she runs immediately to the bathroom, which makes both adults laugh. "Would you like anything to drink?" Quinn glances over at Santana, who looked semi tired which was understandable since she just got released from rehab yesterday. As Santana nods, Quinn leans down to the bottom of the fridge and Santana couldn't help but watch her as she rummages through the back. She bites her bottom lip with every intent to look away, but she doesn't—she's human and Puck was a lucky guy. She stood back up and pops the top of a beer, sliding it on the counter towards Santana.

"So the legends are true," Santana comments as she takes a swig and Quinn questions her with her eyes. "People really do hide their beers on the bottom shelf," she adds and Quinn looks down, smiling softly, allowing a nod to be a reflect reaction.

"Yeah I hear it's so men could look at their girls' asses as they bend down to retrieve one," she says pointedly as Santana is drinking it, the liquid gets caught in her throat, forcing her to cough uncontrollably—_had Quinn noticed I was checking her out? I can't even be doing that. My best friend died not too long ago and this is his wife!_

"Are you alright?" Quinn asks concerned, getting up to fill up a glass of water and handing it to the other girl. She smiles gratefully, before sipping it back to clear her pipes of the alcohol. She takes a deep breath and lets it out as Quinn watches her carefully to make sure she doesn't go overboard again.

The toilet flushes in the distances and Beth opens the door as Quinn eyes her daughter carefully. "Hands?" is all she has to say before Beth turns around and runs back inside. Santana can hear the faint sounds of her shoes hitting the plastic stool as she steps up to the sink and turns the facet on and uses the soap. Once the facet turns off she turns off the light and runs back outside then stares up at Santana. She looks down from the bar stool she's sitting on and picks up Beth to sit next to her.

"So where are you staying?" Quinn asks as she washes out the cup of water and goes into the cabinet to fetch a plastic cup she uses for Beth.

Santana swishes the beer in her bottle for a moment before answering. "I'm staying at Jordan's for now. I was planning to look for apartments close by today, but I wasn't sure where to begin. I know she lives in an apartment complex, but they didn't have any open for two bedrooms," she fibs—she never looked in Jordan's apartment complex. She didn't want to live near Jordan because it was too close to downtown and too far away from Quinn and Beth for her liking—it didn't fit her standards of commuting, but she didn't need either one of them to know that.

Quinn nods slowly as she sits the cup of juice down in front of Beth, then leans against the counter. "I mean there are a few decent apartments around here. What are your price ranges? I mean it's just you, right?" Santana nods and takes another gulp from her beer.

"I don't have a price range—money is no issue," she states as she places the bottle back on the breakfast bar; Quinn quirks an eyebrow curiously at Santana's nonchalant tone. From what Puck told her about Santana is that she was a mysterious person who doesn't talk much about her past. She didn't tell him why she joined the military aside from staying "it was just for kicks", but it was a way of brushing off the subject entirely. She knows the other girl grew up in California and that's it. She hasn't heard anything else, but somehow her husband and she connected on a level that she didn't quite understand. Still even with the lack of basic information, she knows Santana means well and that she is a good person to have in her life or in any life for that matter, but she still felt lost when she looked at the girl—she can almost feel that Santana is damaged emotionally in some way, but she couldn't quite put her finger on it.

"Well that's always a plus. I wish money was always no issue," she says with the upmost of lightheartedness. It gets Santana to look up and meet Quinn's deep hazel eyes, feeling for a moment that she might get lost in them like she's in a maze, prompting her to just quirk her lips into a smirk then retreating back into herself.

"I can help you look though, if you wish tomorrow. I can just bring Beth to play with Sophia," Quinn offers offhandedly. Sophia is Jordan's daughter and one of Beth's closest friends, so even though Quinn has some reservations about Jordan, she can't stay away regardless because of Beth being so close to Sophia. Santana looks down at Beth to see if this gauged a reaction from her, but all she saw was her kicking her legs back and forth while sipping her juice—_well she seems fine with this plan. This will give me a chance to really talk to Quinn one on one too, so maybe this is for the best._

"Yeah sure, that sounds great, but I need to make a phone call first," she states as she pulls her phone out of her pocket to walk out the front door. She shuts it behind her as she stands on the front porch, scrolling through her contacts to locate her brother Eddie, as she does so it rings and almost instantly her brother picks up the phone.

"_San, I got word of what happened? Are you okay? Where are you? I've called every veterans rehabilitation center in California, but none of them said you ever checked in!" _He's frantic on the other line and speaking ten words a second and Santana tries her best to calm him down through interruptions, but it all seems to go at no avail.

"Eddie! I'm fine, okay? I'm not in California and I don't really want to talk about it, but I need that money Papi put away for me. I'm looking at getting a place out in Columbus and it'd be beneficial if I just had access to it now," she explains as she hears him sigh in relief at her whereabouts and that she alive, well, but more than that healthy; she sounded good to him.

"_Si you know I got your back little hermana. Wait? Columbus—Columbus, Ohio? Why are you there? Have you been there this entire time?" _

"Si hermano, this is just something I have to do, so please no more questions about this. I'll explain it all to you soon, I promise, but right now can you do this for me?" She begs at this point because the sooner she can get everything together the quicker she can have a place of her own. After this she wasn't sure where to go from there—what to do for a job; even with the money her father left her, she wouldn't need a job for awhile; she still didn't want to waste it.

"_I will and I'm assuming I'll need to ship your belongings that are just piled high in my garage. When you have a place, let me know and I'll take care of it," _he states calmer now, but still irritated by the lack of information his sister has given him. _"You will be telling me your reasons for leaving the state eventually, si?" _

"Si Eddy, mucho gracias," she says with a small smile as he breaths out on the other end, which is the only way she knows he's still there.

"_Anything for you Santana; I'm heading to the bank now, so it's available to you as soon as possible. I'll talk to you soon and I love you, okay?" _he says as her bottom lip trembles, nodding furiously—she will do anything not to cry on their door step from a stupid phone call to her older brother.

"I love you too Eddie," she ends the call and lets her hand drop to her side as she stares out at the neighborhood in thought. Her mind keeps swarming, wondering if she's doing the right thing or if this makes any sense at all. This isn't her home, but can't she make it her home? Can she love this place as much as Puck did? Could she keep her promise and look after the greatest people he holds so dear? There are so many questions that she doesn't have the answers to and she's scared she'll fail him more than anything.

_But she had to try._

...

Santana plops down in the grass of the park on a beautiful late morning. Her coffee is in hand as she takes sips looking through the several options that Jordan printed out for her to look within the areas. She didn't want the search to be going on all day because that would mean less time to talk to Quinn about anything other than the apartment hunting. It was one thing she hated about moving out to Ohio—she found such joy in the apartment she lived in; however, there was no point in keeping it when she was in and out of the country so frequently, so just before her last tour she asked her brother to help her pack her things and move them into his garage, that way if she came back for awhile she wouldn't be paying for an apartment that wasn't being used the entire time; she was hoping to get it back when she returned, but then all of this stuff happened.

As she flips through the ads she notices that some are close to where Jordan is which rules out about five of them—again too far away from Quinn and Beth to her liking. If she could find a place that she could literally walk across the street or go on a jog around two blocks and be at their house, that would be perfect because what if an emergency happens and traffic is backed up by the city; she'd be fucked and she wouldn't know if either one of them were okay—worse case scenarios make themselves dominate in her mindset as of late.

"How's the search narrowing down?" She looks up and sees hazel casting its wondrous gaze upon her. She smiles and pats for a seat next to her, shifting just a little as she picks her cup back up and raises it to her lips.

"Well Jordan decided to take it upon herself and print out practically all the apartments that stretch from downtown to the suburbs since I'm not familiar with the area, so narrowing the search down is actually quite easy," she explains as Quinn places her purse down at her side as Santana returns back to the papers in her hands.

"I know this is forward, but—," Santana looks up at Quinn. "Why are you doing this? Why are you moving here when your home is California?" She has been curious about this since Santana told her she was searching for apartments to permanently reside out in Ohio; she just didn't understand what the purpose of it was and to be quite frank—she didn't think she would get a solid, believable answer.

Santana shrugs as the wind picks up, moving her hair ever so slightly from her shoulders as she turns back to flip to another page. "I like the area," she simply states, circling the address to solidify she wanted to look at that one.

She licks her two fingers and creases the corners of the papers to make sure none have stuck together, before creating a pile in front of her as Quinn watches carefully—she's thankful that she doesn't press more about her decision. She just didn't want Quinn to know what Puck stated in her letter and to be honest, he didn't even ask her to move out there—just to look after them. The problem with what he was asking out of her wasn't the request itself, it's what limits she was willing to go to in order to keep her word, so she had to do this.

"So you have four you want to look at and the rest are busts," Quinn confirms and Santana nods slowly continuing to stare at the two piles. Quinn nods in confirmation as she stands up from her spot in the grass and dusts herself off, leaning down to pick up the bust pile as Santana does the same with the remaining four and her coffee.

They walk towards the car, passing the garbage which prompts Quinn to throw the papers she has in the trash, then presses onward to her destination, unlocking the doors and sliding in to begin this hopefully uneventful day.

…

Four hours later and a lease signing later, Santana finally found the place that was suitable for her and the best part was—it reminded her of her old one. It had two bedrooms and big enough kitchen along with enough living space; even came with garage which was something her old place didn't—turns out it was the same she paid for in California, but a townhouse which was still okay with her. She had a den where she could just chill out, but also turn into a guest bedroom if by chance someone stayed over, like if her brother came into town or something—she was prepared.

"Thank you for helping with this today," she comments as they walk out of the leasing office with the final paperwork, towards the car. Quinn brushes it off with a wave of her hand and a smile with her sunglasses blocking her eyes.

"I'm glad I could help. It'll be nice to have you close by and Beth would love that. I would've taken her with us today, but I figured we'd be gone a while," she starts the car and Santana nods as she places the papers up on the dash, so she doesn't have to hold it in her lap.

"I totally understand, but just for you taking the time out. I'm going to buy you lunch and plus it could give us time to kind of talk one on one since the other night wasn't exactly the best time," she states as Quinn waits at the intersection, she turns to meet Santana's eyes with a small smile and breaths out a chuckle.

"You just leased a townhouse, you don't have to buy me anything," she insists and Santana rolls her eyes, holding her arms out.

"I would never pass up free food or drinks and you shouldn't either. You work too damn hard and you need to relax, I am doing this out of the good of my heart, so take the offer Blondie," Quinn starts to laugh as the light turns green, shifting in her chair as she focus on the road fully now.

"I didn't realize we were on pet names now," she jests and Santana shrugs like it's no big deal because really nicknames are considered a good thing. When she gives someone a nickname, it means she likes you and is comfortable enough with you to give you one—she likes to think she feels that way with Quinn.

"Well Beth seemed to pick up on it early, it's only natural that you jump on the bandwagon," As they pull into the parking lot of a restaurant, Quinn shakes her head in amusement that Santana is being so open with her—_maybe it's the fact that we made progress on her being around more frequently now and she's getting excited about it. I'm actually pretty excited to have her around more, _Quinn thought.

"I'll remember that," she says as she pulls her seatbelt off, but stops Santana before she gets out of the car with her hand on her arm. It felt like electricity coursing through her fingertips, but she ignored it since she hasn't even touched her since the last time she saw her, which felt like forever ago. "I'm glad you're becoming less guarded around me," she says sincerely while she continues making direct eye contact with the other girl. She could feel Santana's resolves slowly falling away with each moment they've spent together—honestly she couldn't be happier because in some way, Santana reminded her of the one she lost and she knows she's doing the same for the other solider.

"I have to try, right?" Santana states again with a shrug which was returned with a nod from the blonde. She knew she wasn't quite ready to devolve her past to Quinn and she felt that in some way she was holding back the fun loving person she could be, but ever since her visit to Ohio with Puck the prior time, she was actually finally bringing that part of her out that she desperately wanted to expose to some people. It's hard though—she's worried people won't like what they see and write her off after a second of finding out how she is, but she just has to remind herself that these people aren't like the ones in California—they're better; much better.


End file.
