Avengers 1. Chapter 1 - No Time To Take

**Chapter 1 - No Time to Take**

Alex sighed and absentmindedly began twisting one of her long, honey colored curls around her index finger. Eli was not going to give up, and all the excess wine in her system was making his attentions even less tolerable than usual. She desperately wanted to leave him at the table and mingle with her other friends and co-workers, but she didn't think she could stomach the inevitable hurt look in his eyes and his childish pout.

Why didn't he _ever_ take the hint? She had managed to find some excuse for every time he had asked her out (what was it - _eight_ times so far this month?) that she thought for sure he would have given up by now. She knew she was going to have to eventually spell it out for him in no uncertain terms, but it wasn't going to be here, tonight, at the party.

Eli really was quite attractive, she observed, in a clean-cut, wholesome way. He was the epitome of the All-American boy, sandy brown hair and blue eyes, tall with broad shoulders. He was kind and attentive and so _not_ Alex's type. She wondered how someone so brilliant could be such a complete moron when it came to understanding that she had absolutely zero romantic interest in him. Damn Jillian for leaving her at the table alone with him.

Alex could see Jillian on the far end of the ballroom laughing it up with Tony Stark, their boss and gracious host for the evening's festivities. The pert, little blonde had an overabundance of energy and a zest for life that was infectious. Stark didn't know all of his many employees, but he knew Jillian. She pulled no punches and was always direct, which made people either love her or hate her. Alex loved her like a sister and had since they met in middle school.

Stark, the dashing genius philanthropist turned super hero, frequently threw lavish parties for his employees whenever there was a major breakthrough discovery or invention of some sort.

Stark Industries' latest achievement had taken renewable energy to the next level; something that could be safely and relatively inexpensively implemented in highly developed and Third World countries alike. It was a true feat of environmental engineering that would forever change the world. Of course, there would be a high publicity, grand affair with government officials and international dignitaries, but Stark always made a point to celebrate with his employees first. And tonight he had spared no expense in honoring the teams who were responsible for this groundbreaking work.

Alex loved working for Stark Industries. She had graduated from Johns Hopkins University with a Master's degree in Environmental Science and had immediately landed a job with Stark thanks to Jillian, who was an accomplished engineer in the aerospace division. Taking the job at Stark Industries had meant moving from her home town of Baltimore to New York City. She hadn't wanted to leave her roots, but it was a career opportunity of a lifetime and she had needed a fresh start. Even now, three years later, her trendy studio apartment in the East Village still didn't feel quite like home.

"I really think you would enjoy it," Eli said, looking at her expectantly. "I could take you there next Spring if you want."

She stared at him blankly. What the hell was he even blathering about anyway? This was a party for God's sake and Alex wanted to party. She scanned the room looking for someone, _anyone_ who would rescue her.

Amidst the crowd, to the left of the bar stood the very pretty and delicately featured Jane Foster, gazing up adoringly at her boyfriend. It was difficult not to notice the gorgeous blonde Goliath standing by her side who effortlessly exuded strength and power as if it were simply a by-product of his breathing. Thor was considered a god among men, and regardless of his limitless super powers, his perfect physical form and golden features alone could compel the women of Earth to worship at his feet.

Alex had met Dr. Foster a few times before this evening through Jillian, who occasionally worked with the astrophysicist. Jane was a brilliant and driven scientist, but with a kind and gentle spirit. Alex had liked her instantly. And apparently, so had Thor, who had briefly considered giving up the throne of Asgard just to be with her. For now, they were content with the mother of all long distance relationships.

What was it like, Alex wondered, to be going steady with an _actual_ god? Did he shoot thunderbolts out when they argued? Or when they had sex? Did gods leave the toilet seat up? If Alex ever got the opportunity to get to know Jane better, she would definitely ask.

With one arm draped possessively around Jane and the other holding a bottle of beer, the God of Thunder looked strangely in his element sporting a blue button down shirt and jacket with jeans. Where did he stash his mighty hammer, Mjolnir, in an outfit like this, Alex mused.

As she continued to watch them, Thor threw his head back in laughter, opening her line of sight to the person standing to his left. It was his brother, Loki, the Dark Prince of Asgard, who clearly seemed pleased with himself to have elicited such a response. He leaned into Thor's ear to say something else and Thor doubled over, laughing even harder.

Alex felt her pulse start to quicken. She had seen pictures of Loki before in magazines and on TV and had considered him attractive in a dark, sinister, bad boy kind of way. But here in the flesh, looking so gleeful and downright relaxed — he was beyond breathtaking.

While his brother was all bulk, muscle and brawn, Loki had a lean, sinewy look that could only be described as powerful and elegant. He wore a dark black English cut suit that was impeccably tailored, accentuating the V-shape of his shoulders and torso. All of his movements appeared graceful, yet carefully controlled, giving him an almost panther-like quality.

His hair was long and slicked back, a slight curl forming at the ends. Alex found the length of his hair style to be somewhat at odds with his conservative attire, but he managed to pull the whole look together. She imagined how it would look, loosened by her fingers as she ran them through his thick, black locks.

Thor made a comment and Loki flashed a dazzling smile that had Alex completely awestruck. Could anyone really be this ridiculously gorgeous? She scrutinized the planes of his face and could find no discernible flaws marring his exquisite features. His cheekbones were simply _killer_.

If only she could have noticed him earlier, she thought. Then at least she could have stared at him all night and been pleasantly distracted while feigning interest in Eli's very one-sided and dull conversation.

Just as she was about to turn away, Alex noticed Loki's eyes shift from Thor and move toward her direction. He raised a single eyebrow quizzically at her, then drew his lips into a knowing smile and winked. She almost dropped her wine glass.

At the very least, her mouth must have dropped open because Eli stopped mid-sentence and prompted, "You were about to say something?"

Alex quickly set down her glass and blinked a couple of times to clear her vision. Was she really _that _drunk? She thought she had a nice buzz going on, but she _had_ to have hallucinated that wink — which could only mean that she was completely shit-faced. She closed her eyes and willed herself to think rationally. The most logical conclusion was that Loki must have directed the gesture towards someone sitting behind her. Of course, that was it.

"He will never be able to give you what you require." The low, silky voice broke through her thoughts, causing her to jump in her seat. She could feel his presence next to her as surely as if he had reached out and touched her. Her heart began hammering in her chest.

"Pardon me?" she asked, turning to face him.

There was no mistaking the God of Mischief, who was sitting so casually in the chair next to her as if he had been there all night. Up close, he looked even more beautiful to her than he had from across the room.

"That sniveling mortal." Loki nodded in Eli's direction. "He will never be able to give you what you require."

She blinked. There was something so irresistibly sexy in his voice and in the way that he carried himself that she found herself completely drawn to him despite the warning signals that were going off in her head. Did he know the effect he was having on her, she wondered? The attraction she felt for him was so intense and visceral that her body felt like it was burning from the inside out. She was sure that he could feel the heat radiating from her skin.

She reached for her wine glass to buy herself some time to respond. "And what exactly is it that I require?" she asked as coolly as she could, trying to hide the nervous tremor in her voice.

He nonchalantly inspected his fingernails as if they were conversing about the weather. "Total possession."

The sip of wine she had just taken threatened to choke her. "Umm, what was that again?"

"Total possession." He leaned in even closer, enveloping her with the clean scent of spice and sandalwood. "You require a lover who will possess you in mind, body, and spirit. You crave to be completely consumed by your mutual passion. And this ridiculous, mooning dolt will never elicit even a simple spark within you."

Loki was speaking in such low, melodious tones that it was doubtful that Eli could hear him above the din of the party. Even so, Alex stole a sideways glance at him to gauge his reaction. It was clear that Eli was perplexed to see the God of Mischief sitting at the table next to his self-proclaimed "girl", but his dumbfounded expression gave no hint at registering the god's insult.

She turned back to face Loki. He had a look of smug superiority that should have made her roll her eyes, but, instead, only made her insides flutter. His commanding presence and the effect it was having on her was making her exceedingly nervous. Unfortunately, under times of distress, extreme sarcasm was her typical go-to response.

"Good to know that the obvious isn't lost on you. Why don't you tell me something I _don't_ know?" she snapped.

For the briefest of moments, Loki looked stunned. He cocked his head slightly to get a better look at the perplexing creature before him. She was quite pretty, he observed. Impossibly large green eyes dominated the whole of her face which was surrounded by a thick mane of loose, wide curls. The lips that had just delivered the affront to his ego were lush and full and much better suited, he thought, for crying out his name in the throes of pleasure.

He had expected her to be flattered by his attentions as all women usually were. But her response had a sharp bite that he simply was unaccustomed to. Was it possible that she was immune to his charms, he wondered? He was certain that he had sensed her deep attraction to him from across the room. Despite her surprising remarks, he decided not to let them derail his purpose for crossing the room.

"I assumed you needed to hear the words since you were doing nothing to rid yourself of this fool."

As he spoke, Alex felt involuntary shivers run up and down her spine. Her physiological response to his simple proximity was so overwhelming that it bordered on the embarrassing. She knew that if he touched her, she would be _done_.

She murmured weakly, "I didn't want to be rude..."

"Alex, do you want to join me in getting another glass of wine?" Eli interrupted hopefully. He had absolutely no idea what was going on between Loki and Alex, but he knew that the god's presence here was going to ruin his chances with her if he didn't manage to get her away.

Loki shot him a dangerous look that had the young scientist withering in his seat. "Perhaps, you could be a gentleman and get the lady a drink while we finish our conversation," Loki suggested, icily.

"Umm, yeah, sure... Another glass of…of... what was it?"

Alex surveyed the room. The longest line seemed to be at the champagne fountain. She didn't really have a specific plan, but she knew she wanted Eli gone for as long as possible.

"You know," she said, "it _is_ a celebration. I really feel like switching to champagne. Do you mind getting me a glass, Eli? I'd really appreciate it." She smiled as sincerely as she could.

Eli beamed and said, "Of course," as he got up from the table and started making his way towards the crowd in the champagne line. He was highly relieved to be getting away from Loki while doing something that would surely gain him some points with the object of his affection. It was a total win, win.

Loki smirked. "Toying with his unrequited affections seems far more rude if you ask me."

"I am NOT toying with his affections and I didn't ask you!" she exclaimed, her face feeling hot. A pang of guilt shot through her. She knew Loki was right and she cursed herself for not just being open and direct with Eli. The realization of how she had been inadvertently leading the poor guy on this last month made her feel even more uncomfortable.

"Did you come over just here to chastise me?" she spat. "Why are you even talking to me?" Despite sounding so harsh, these were legitimate questions considering the nature of their conversation and the fact that they had never before met.

"I was under the impression you were looking for someone to save you from your predicament," Loki replied simply.

He looked knowingly into her eyes, challenging her to deny that she had only just moments before been hoping to be rescued. When she looked down and then away in silence, it was obvious to both that he had been correct in his assessment.

His interest shifted and his gaze moved down toward the plunging neckline of her form-fitting cocktail dress which revealed just enough cleavage to spur the imagination. For the first time in years, Alex felt herself blush under the appraisal. She was neither shy nor retiring, but never before had the notion of being undressed by someone's eyes held such meaning.

Loki noticed her blush and inwardly smiled. It was evident that she wanted him, and now it was only a matter of time.

Alex struggled to respond, but the words she had been trying to form died on her tongue. What the hell was _wrong_ with her? She had never been this flustered in front of a man before. Okay, so technically he was a god (or an alien - depending on one's perspective) but she seldom, if ever, lost her composure in social situations. She didn't know what was worse - her snarky comments or her total stupefied silence.

Taking advantage of her discomfited state, Loki prompted, "He'll be back soon. Do you wish me to leave?"

_Hell_, no, she thought. She desperately wanted for him to stay and would have chained herself to him if it were an option, as undignified as it seemed. But beyond shaking her head, she was too unsure of herself to act on anything more.

Knowing that she couldn't just sit there saying nothing, words began tumbling out of her mouth in a nervous torrent. "Look, Eli is a very nice guy and I don't want to hurt him. But you're right. I will never feel the same way for him that he feels about me. And, obviously, my not so subtle hints aren't getting through. All I wanted was to have a good time tonight and there is no way that that is going to happen if he stays stuck to me like glue for the rest of this evening. So, no, I don't want you to go."

There was a slight gleam in Loki's eyes. This was the moment to seize upon.

"Having a good time this evening is not dependent upon you staying here at this party," he stated casually.

The hammering in her chest returned. "Okaaay," she said, drawing out the syllables and then pausing. "Was there something else you had in mind?"

"Nothing more than your total possession," he replied, grinning slyly at her.

If she hadn't already been sitting, she surely would have dropped to her knees. Her legs felt like Jell-O and her breathing had become much too shallow. She could think of absolutely nothing to say and it frustrated the hell out of her. She wanted to be coy and clever but she was failing miserably. She wanted to dazzle him with her witty repartee but could barely hold up her end of the conversation. Instead, she just stood there, slack-jawed.

Loki had expected some sort of response to indicate her joy at his words. When the silence lasted a beat too long, he continued, "You and I both know that I could completely satisfy all your requirements for an enjoyable evening."

Surely with all the arrhythmia happening to her heart, Alex was going to pass out right here in front of him. She had heard her fair share of pick-up lines over the years at the various bars she and Jillian frequented, but most lacked the right amount of innuendo and intrigue. There was absolutely no mistaking the intent behind Loki's seductive words, and it both excited and unnerved her.

Her brain once again betrayed her with its inability to form a satisfactory response. "I...Uh...I don't understand... What exactly are you suggesting?" she asked, knowing full well exactly what he was suggesting.

All the amusement left his face and Loki suddenly rose from the table. It had never been this difficult to seduce a woman before and he was aggravated. "I grow weary of this conversation. I somehow took you for a mortal of at least average intelligence. Perhaps I was mistaken."

Alex's temper immediately flared. She abruptly stood up from her chair, her confidence temporarily bolstered by her anger at his words. He was so damn tall that she practically had to strain her neck to look him in the eye.

She jabbed her finger into his chest. "Listen Dickhead, there's no need to insult me. It's not like getting propositioned by a fucking _god _is a common occurrence for me. So excuse me if I don't know exactly what to say or how to act."

Loki looked down at the finger poking into his chest and a broad smile returned to his face. "My, you _are_ a fiery one. I think I shall enjoy your company immensely."

She glared at him. What a cocky bastard.

Her finger continued to assault his chest. "I would rather spend the rest of this night folding laundry than to suffer another minute with you!" As soon as the words were out, she regretted how childish and foolish they sounded.

"Yes, I suppose that's one way to remedy your situation," he replied. "Although, I dare say that my offer sounds like a far more pleasurable option. For both of us."

Taking her hand from his chest and pressing it to his lips, he said, "But I am glad that you have come up with a solution that will save your evening. I leave you now, comforted in the thought that my help is no longer required."

All her anger immediately subsided as a sense of panic rose in her chest. _Fuck_. Yes, she had been irate, but this is not how she wanted their brief encounter to end. She knew full well that he was toying with her by threatening to leave. But she also knew that the ball was now in her court. Whatever happened from this moment on was completely up to her.

She was a grown woman, for God's sake. One who was fully capable of making complex decisions. Hadn't she just helped solve the world's energy crisis? So why was she having such a hard time with this? This was _just_ sex. Hadn't Jillian only last week told her to lighten up and go get laid?

The truth was it had been far too long since she had participated in the act itself. No one had really piqued her interest enough until now; but, even so, this was not something she felt she could jump into lightly.

All that she knew of him told her that he was dangerous and that she would regret giving in to her basest desires. But the way her body seemed to liquefy at his touch was pushing her towards his promises of pleasure and possession. What harm could one night really do? Didn't people do this sort of thing every day? What was she trying to prove to herself with either course of action?

Loki was showing remarkable patience under the circumstances. He sensed she was conflicted and allowed her to wage war with her own thoughts, never breaking eye contact.

When she could no longer stand the intensity of his gaze, she lowered her eyes and confessed, "I know what I want to do, but it is completely at odds with what I feel I should do."

Loki's eyes widened in surprise. He was so taken aback by her admission, that it was now his turn to be stunned into silence. He lowered her hand but did not let go of it. He thought of the hundreds upon hundreds of women he had taken to bed over the last few centuries and not once had any of them expressed hesitation. This one intrigued him unlike any other and he was not willing to let her slip away .

"Please forgive me for doing everything in my power to persuade your decision," he said softly.

And then he leaned over and kissed her, his tongue just barely licking the entrance to her mouth. It was soft and gentle and no less arresting than if he had claimed her lips with a forceful intensity. When he gently pulled on her bottom lip with his mouth as he slowly withdrew from her, she was shaking with her need for him.

And just like that, all the indecision she had felt was gone.

Sensing his impending victory, Loki said, "I return to Asgard tomorrow. Perhaps we should make the most of what little time we have together."

She looked across the room and could see that Eli had neared the front of the champagne line. She squeezed Loki's hand and said, "Let's go."


	2. Chapter 2 - Tongue Tied

**Chapter 2 - Tongue Tied**

They walked out of the ballroom toward the elevators, his hand still holding on to hers as if he feared she might change her mind. For a being who had initiated and fought countless dangerous battles over the years, fear was not really in his nature. But Loki felt uncharacteristically apprehensive that she might give in to any second thoughts. He had been completely serious about wanting her total possession and did not want anything to come between him and that goal.

When they stopped in front of the elevators, his face fell when he saw that she was already questioning her decision.

She was nervously looking down at her feet, teetering slightly, although it was not clear if it was because of the extreme height of her heels, excess alcohol, frayed nerves, or a combination of all three.

"You haven't even asked me my name," she muttered.

Loki's expression lifted. _This_ he could remedy.

"My apologies, my Lady. Please allow me to introduce myself. I am Loki Odinson, Prince of Asgard. God of Mischief. Liberator of Bored Women."

She smiled a genuine smile and Loki was momentarily dazzled in its purity.

"I'm Alexandra Bennett - Alex for short - and I work at Stark Industries..." She saw the corners of his mouth twitch upward ever so slightly. "Which you probably already gathered because I'm here at this party." _Damnit_, why did she always sound like such an idiot around him? "I'm an environmental scientist...originally from Baltimore. That's in Maryland." Blank stare. "Which judging from your expression is probably as meaningful to you as if you rattled off some Asgardian city names to me." Another slight smile. "So, just so we're clear, there's nothing divine or royal about me. I'm just your average, ordinary American girl."

"I'm delighted to meet you, Alexandra," he said with the utmost sincerity, bringing her hand to his lips. "And I do not find you the least bit average or ordinary."

"Please, call me Alex."

"I will do nothing of the sort," he rejoined, as he pushed the down button for the elevator. "That name does not suit you at all. It is far too masculine for someone with as many feminine charms as you possess."

"Whatever. Suit yourself," she said. It hardly mattered. She doubted that she would see him again after this night and as long as he didn't call her by the wrong name, she could be fine with it.

The ding of the elevator doors opening startled her. He waited for her to enter before following behind, wary that if he walked in first, she would back out.

As the doors closed behind them, she asked, "So, do you do this sort of thing often?"

"Ride in elevators?" he answered wryly.

"No," she rolled her eyes. "Pick up complete strangers and take them to bed?" She turned, breaking contact with his hand and was surprised when he reached for it again.

He paused and then replied candidly, "Yes."

It was not as though she hadn't suspected this, but disappointment still filled her. As did the fear that her inexperience would not provide her with the skills needed to live up to his previous conquests.

"Well, I don't do this sort of thing often," she stated.

"So I gathered."

"So I'm kind of nervous..."

"I gathered that as well," he said as he reached across and pushed the button for the lobby.

"Okay, more like terrified. Look, I'm practically a born-again virgin. I have to think that my lack of recent experience can only lead to disappointment for you."

"Born-again virgin?" he queried. "I am not familiar with this term."

"It just means that I haven't done it in a really, really long time," she admitted, slightly embarrassed.

"Really?" he asked quizzically. "I find that rather astonishing. There doesn't appear to be anything wrong with you. _Is_ there something wrong with you?" He turned to fully face her and looked her up and down once again.

"No!" she exclaimed hotly. "This whole abstinence thing has been completely by choice."

"How peculiar," he noted. "And how long has this _choice_ been in effect?"

"Ummm...like two years, give or take a couple of months."

"What?!" he was aghast.

The horrified look on his gorgeous face had Alex slightly bemused. Apparently, the thought of going without sex for that long was inconceivable to him. She struggled to explain herself and then quickly became irritated that she even felt the need to do so.

"It's just that I've been pretty busy, you know, devoted to my work and all..." Okay, even that sounded pathetic to her. "Well, it's not like I couldn't have if I had wanted to. There have been plenty of offers. _Plenty_. It's just that no one really has sparked my interest until...now. So you should feel pretty flattered that you're the one I chose to break my dry spell with," she said, smirking, folding her arms over her chest.

Loki did not appear amused. "I am a god. You should be the one who is flattered." There was no implied arrogance in his tone; the statement was delivered as simple fact.

She studied him for a moment. "Well, it looks like humility is certainly not one of your better qualities," she said sarcastically.

The words had no sooner left her lips when Loki abruptly pushed her up against the back of the elevator, trapping her body with his own. He was a wall of lean, hard muscle, leaving no space between them for her to feel anything but him and the cold unyielding steel against her back.

With his hand cupping her chin and his thumb caressing her bottom lip, he purred, "You are correct. But I have _many_ markedly prodigiousqualities that you will bear witness to before this night is over. And I assure you, Alexandra, your body will weep with joy from my touch."

Her mouth dropped open and he seized the opportunity to kiss her much more forcefully than he had in the ballroom. His tongue breached the entrance of her lips and began to play with hers, dipping into the recesses of her mouth in erotic exploration. The intensity of his kiss and the explicit promise in his words drove a surge of lust through her, settling into liquid heat between her legs. Who even talked like that, she wondered?

He expertly teased her tongue with his, exerting just enough pressure with his lips to make her crave more. She pressed into him and kissed him back eagerly, sucking on his tongue to draw him further into her mouth.

Thus far, nerves had inhibited her brain and prevented her from coming up with clever, interesting things to say to him, but this... _this _was all instinct and physical response - something that she could willingly lose herself in and execute with abandon.

The elevator doors opened and she struggled to keep her balance when he released her. She should have been embarrassed by the looks of the people who were waiting for them to exit, but she was too lost in the moment to care. And he certainly didn't seem concerned. Taking her hand once again, Loki strode out of the elevator, impervious to any stares or whispers.

They walked into the lobby and stopped in front of a circular marble table supporting an enormous fresh flower arrangement. She reached out to touch a purple-throated Calla Lily, admiring it briefly before asking, "Where are we even going?"

"Perhaps you would be more comfortable in familiar surroundings?" he prompted.

It sounded like a plausible enough suggestion given how obviously nervous she was, but the truth was that Loki never brought any of the women he seduced to his own residence. That way he could make a hasty exit whenever he wanted.

Alex frowned slightly. No way was she going to take the God of Mischief back to her place via the subway. "We'll have to cab it from here. I don't have a car."

"I do," he replied. He raised his wrist and pushed a button on what looked like a very sleek black metal watch.

"You drive?" Alex asked incredulously.

"No," he snorted. "I have a car at my disposal. Compliments of SHIELD. They take me wherever it is I want to go and in return I get to be under their constant surveillance."

Alex froze. In her overwhelming attraction, she had forgotten his past history with New York.

"Uh, wait a minute. You're not going to kill me or anything are you?"

The corners of his mouth drew into a smile, but it did not touch his eyes.

"While my intentions are indeed less than pure, being responsible for your untimely demise is certainly not part of my plan. Even if that were my purpose, I would be unable to do so. This device here," he motioned to the black bracelet on his wrist that she had thought was a watch, "is able to detect any violent intent before the act occurs. It will emit an alarm to the SHIELD agents and they - and my brother - would be upon me in seconds. So I assure you that you are quite safe."

Though she did not fear for her life, Alex thought she was anything but safe with him.

They walked out of the hotel toward the curb as a black Lincoln MKS pulled up. The doorman, who had just hailed a cab for another couple, quickly walked over and opened the door to the back. Loki motioned for Alex to get in and then slid into the seat next to her. Once the door was closed, the vehicle made its way onto the street.

"Where to?" the driver asked, looking at Alex through the rear view mirror. His head was completely shaved and he had a stern, angular face that was anchored by a close-cropped brown goatee, making him look less like a limo driver and more like a mercenary on a covert military operation. Must be a SHIELD agent, she thought.

As soon as Alex rattled off her address, Loki pushed the button to raise the privacy screen. He turned to face her but said nothing. When at least a minute or two passed between them in silence, Alex could feel her nerves once again get the best of her.

"Are all women this nervous around you?" she asked, twisting a lock of hair around her finger.

"Probably. Although, they don't show it as much," he replied honestly.

She turned her body in her seat so that she could better face him. "So how does this usually work? With these other women?" He looked at her quizzically. "I _get_ that you have sex with them. But beforehand, like now, during the car ride to wherever it is you end up taking them...does everyone respond in the same way? Do they throw themselves at you? Are they trying to make conversation? Do you exchange personal information about each other? What's the expectation?" she asked.

"Really, Alexandra, what does it matter what other women have done? I am much more interested in what _you_ are going to do."

He was staring at her intently and Alex found it difficult to be under such scrutiny. "You realize, don't you, that I have absolutely no idea what to do here? It freaks me out that I'm so clueless. I'm just curious what other women do in this exact situation," she said.

She was such a paradox, he thought; sexy and confident from her outward appearance, yet awkward and skittish at his slightest provocation. He thought it would be an infuriating combination, but he was genuinely intrigued by her and curious to see how everything would play out between them.

"If you must know, there is generally not much conversation happening at this point, for their mouths would be otherwise occupied," he replied matter-of-factly.

"Are you kidding me?" She asked, wide-eyed, searching his impassive face for the hint of a joke. "Oh. Of course, you're not kidding."

Alex turned to peer out the window at the passing cars. She'd been out of the game for far too long, she thought. Of _course_, they would have jumped his bones at the first opportunity. He was exotic and other-worldly and a god for fuck's sake, and looked like he could deliver on every sensual promise that he uttered from his lips. They wouldn't have wanted to waste a single moment with him because they — every last one of them — would have done anything to make a lasting impression.

She remembered, then, how it had been for her at the start of each relationship; when you were so eager to please and to prove yourself to your new lover — when you were completely willing to be bold and brazen and and lose yourself in the heat of the moment. So much in her life had changed since then.

She sighed. The make-out session on the elevator was the most uninhibited thing she'd done in almost two years and it was going to have to suffice for now. She turned back to face him. "Sorry, dude. That's _so_ not happening here."

Instead of feeling disappointed, Loki thought about how his various trysts had grown predictable — the reactions were almost always the same. A suggestive phrase or two and then they were on their knees before him. Alexandra was certainly not behaving predictably, and for the first time in a long time, he was unsure of what to do next.

"Being with all these women...So what do you do for...um...protection?" she asked.

"Protection from what?"

"Sexually transmitted diseases..."

He appeared annoyed. "First of all, I am a god. We are not of the same species. I am physiologically unable to contract nor carry the same diseases or parasites as you mortals."

"Okay... What about unwanted pregnancies?"

He studied her for a moment.

"My dear, Alexandra. Do you know anything about me at all? The last thing I would ever want would be to produce an unwanted child who would be left to wonder who his true father is. You have nothing to worry about on that front."

She felt a twinge of guilt for bringing it up and wasn't sure if she should say anything in response. As she contemplated it, her cell phone began ringing. She opened her purse, picked up her phone and saw that is was Eli calling.

"Damn," she muttered, as she hit ignore and turned it to vibrate.

Loki watched her reaction but did not inquire since it was obvious that it was the buffoon from the party who was probably wondering where she was. For some strange reason, it irritated him that this dolt had any kind of access to her.

She stared out the window again, lost in her own thoughts. Why wasn't he kissing her, damnit? His kisses were all-consuming which gave her less time to overthink things and allowed her to simply act on instinct. It would be such a welcome change from just sitting here with her insides fluttering about, second-guessing every word that came out of her mouth.

Exasperated, more with herself than with his inaction, she exclaimed, "Shouldn't you be whispering sweet nothings and seductive phrases right now to get me all hot and bothered or something?"

His voice was a low rumble that she could feel along her skin. "As you are already in this vehicle, I did not realize I still needed to seduce you. It also seems a bit unnecessary as the air is quite thick with your arousal."

"What?!" she asked in horror. She started sniffing at herself. "Oh my God, do I stink?" She was absolutely mortified.

"On the contrary," he said reassuringly. "I find your scent to be wildly intoxicating. I cannot wait to taste you."

She shivered involuntarily with lust, knowing that she had brought this on herself, had asked him for this. Somewhere in the back of her mind she remembered having heard of him referred to as Silvertongue, and it was obvious to her now how perfect the moniker was. In a life that currently felt a little less than ordinary, this was going to be a night to remember, she thought.

The car slowed down and came to a stop at a curb.

She took a deep breath. "This is it" she said.


	3. Chapter 3 - Best You Ever Had

**Chapter 3 - Best You Ever Had**

She had no sooner closed the door to her apartment before he quickly lunged at her, pushing her against it and caging her in between his arms. She looked up at him longingly and he stared into her eyes for a moment before placing his lips possessively over hers. His tongue expertly explored every nook, entwining with hers in a seductive and deliberate dance. She sucked on it suggestively and then plunged hers deep within his mouth to drive the point home that she was now all in.

His kiss seared her as if he had held a burning brand against her lips. Her senses were fully engaged as she breathed him in, tasted of his mouth, and felt the hardness of his desire pressed against her abdomen. Her hands made their way into his hair as she tried to bring him even closer. When he broke away from the kiss, she whimpered in protest but immediately settled as he started trailing kisses down her throat.

His hands moved to her arms as he pulled both shoulders of her dress down, revealing the black lace of her balconet bra. He rained kisses across the exposed tops of her breasts, pausing only to free one completely from its lacy cup. Her nipple immediately puckered as the air caressed it, and became as hard as a pebble under the circling of his thumb. He drew the rosy peak into his mouth, nipping it with his teeth and then laving over it with his tongue. She moaned and instinctively arched into him so that he could take the sensitive bud further into his mouth.

His hand palmed its mate before his fingers dipped beneath the fabric to tuck it under, giving him complete access. Pinching her right nipple with his fingers, he alternately tongued and sucked on her left, sending spikes of pleasure all the way to her core.

Her breaths became ragged and she was unable to stifle the soft moans that were coming from somewhere deep inside of her. He acknowledged every sound she made with a hard suck and flick of his tongue until she was gasping, delirious with sensation. As one hand clutched at his head and raked through his hair, her other grabbed at his buttock trying to pull him closer. He ground his erection against her in response and then reached down to pull one of her legs up and around him.

While his mouth continued to wreak its havoc, his hands skillfully manipulated her breasts — the contact with his skin making them feel engulfed in flame. He lifted his head to maneuver his mouth onto her other nipple, pulling hard with his lips. She groaned and his teeth grazed the rosy tip before his tongue twirled repeated circles around it. She was so wet now and panting with her desire as he continued to methodically draw pleasure from one sensitive peak to the other.

A slow, unexpected warmth began to spread from her belly down to the apex at her legs and she could feel the walls of her sex start to contract. She cried out as an orgasm suddenly overtook her, rocking her hips further into his erection which served only to intensify her pleasure. The leg she was still standing on began to buckle and Loki held onto her tightly until the spasms of her release dissipated.

Her heart was fluttering wildly as if trying to escape her chest. Attempting to catch her breath, she lowered the leg that had been hooked around his hip and tried to regain her balance. What was _that_, she wondered. Had he actually just made her come from nothing more than his mouth on her breasts? She decided in that moment, no matter what else happened this night, that she would not regret the decision to bring him home with her.

He lifted his head and kissed her softly on the lips. "Take me to your bed. I need to taste the rest of you." A jolt of pure lust surged between her legs at the erotic sound of his words.

She followed him as he turned to walk further into her apartment. Without any forewarning, he stopped abruptly and she slammed into his back, almost falling backwards onto the floor.

"Can you not afford walls for your home?" he asked in shock, as he surveyed her apartment.

It took a moment to register his question and then Alex laughed, realizing that he had never seen a studio apartment before.

"I guess in some respect that's true, but these types of apartments are called studios and they are designed this way. My bed is right over there next to that room divider." She pointed toward the left corner of the apartment.

He glanced around the space, taking in the mid-century modern decor and the bright patterns of the textiles on the furniture before his eyes settled on the wood platform bed in the corner.

Standing there waiting for him, she became self-conscious as she realized how she must look with her breasts exposed, spilling out over the top of her dress. She tried to rearrange herself, but he stilled her hands and kissed her neck, murmuring that she would be fully bare to him soon enough.

He led her to the side of the bed and began to pull her dress over her head. Letting it drop to the floor, he unhooked her bra and lifted the perfectly formed globes in his hands, abrading her nipples with his thumbs. He wanted them in his mouth again but knew there was so much more of her body he had yet to explore.

Alex drew in a sharp breath. Her breasts felt so heavy and full from his recent attentions and from her overwhelming desire, that they ached for his touch. When he moved his hands down her waist to her panties, she frowned. He smiled inwardly, knowing that she hungered for him and was growing impatient in her need.

He gently pushed her back onto the bed and knelt, sliding the saturated scrap of lace down her legs. He removed each shoe and kissed the instep of her left foot as he trailed further kisses up her calf and along the inside of her thigh.

Her breathing became super charged in anticipation as his mouth hovered over the juncture between her legs. He carefully placed each leg onto his shoulders, taking notice that she was quivering in her excitement. He, too, was excited to taste her and had been from the moment of their first kiss. He inhaled her scent and hummed his approval, then began to languidly stroke his tongue between the lips of her sex. Ever so slowly he dragged his tongue up and down her crease, teasing her with the light pressure.

Her hand fisted in his hair as she tried to goad him into further action. The ache had moved from her breasts to her clit, and she felt like she would surely shatter if her didn't touch her there soon.

Her acute need for him was obvious and it delighted Loki to no end as he continued to torment her for a few more slow gentle strokes. Finally, his fingers spread apart her lips and he dipped his tongue deep inside her sex, as she groaned loudly in pure pleasure. He plunged his tongue in and out, reveling in the taste of her and her corresponding moans, then flicked it out again to find the nub of sensitive flesh.

Her stomach muscles tightened as she waited for him to reach his target. Still teasing, his tongue traced light circles around her clit before he sealed his mouth over it and began to suck.

Alex's hips jerked up in response. She was unable to stifle her moans nor the undulating movements of her lower body as he moved his tongue to slip inside her once again.

"Can you feel how wet you are from my touch?" he purred against her, as his tongue began its journey back to her clit.

"God, I need you inside of me," she panted, leaning on her elbows and looking down at him.

"In due time," he replied, increasing the pressure of his tongue.

She threw her head back onto the bed as another involuntary moan escaped. He was going to make her wait and patience was not one of her virtues. As expertly as he had used his tongue to pay homage to her breasts, it paled in comparison to the pleasure he was able to derive with it below her waist. She could feel another orgasm start to build within her in a slow, powerful swell.

He felt her body begin to stiffen and he sucked on her sensitive flesh with more ferocity. When the wave of her orgasm crashed over her, she cried out, bucking her hips and shaking with the force of its intensity. He continued to lap at her clit as she found her release, eliciting more low, guttural sounds from her that were like an aphrodisiac to him. Slowly, he reduced the pressure of his tongue and eased one of her legs off of his shoulder, as spasms continued to ripple through her body.

She felt like she had been completely wrung out, but, even so, she still ached for him to fill her. The fact that he was fully clothed vexed her, as she desperately wanted to feel his bare skin against hers.

He, too, wanted to be rooted deep inside her but was determined to draw out her pleasure for as long as possible. Her every response to his touch had been so intense and primal, stoking the flame of his own desire to an unprecedented level. He loved the way she was writhing on the bed under him now, offering the proof he had been seeking all night that she wanted and needed his possession. Aside from the wild, keening sounds she made that spurred him on so, he found that the warm flush that reached the tips of her breasts and the lovely contortions of her face during climax excited him beyond belief.

Resisting the urge to give in to what they both craved, he eased one of his long, elegant fingers inside her slick wetness and began rubbing his thumb over her clit. She was too sensitive after her orgasm to be touched there again, and as he pulled out his finger and then moved it in again — this time adding another while still circling her clit with his thumb — she panted, "No, no. It's too soon. I...I can't take it..."

"You will take everything I have to give you, Alexandra," he crooned.

At that moment, he hooked his fingers deep inside her and pressed down with his thumb. The resulting orgasm was instantaneous and explosive. She heard a voice she did not recognize and realized it was herself screaming out over and over as her body convulsed in ecstasy. One hand fisted his hair, the other the bedspread Her skin was covered with a thin sheen of moisture and her breathing came in short, ragged gasps. He had said he had no intentions of killing her, but she felt that she would surely die from the rapture he had induced.

She was vaguely aware of being moved further onto the bed and then feeling the mattress dip as he joined her on it. She opened her eyes and saw him, gloriously naked, readying himself between her thighs. When had he taken off his clothes, she wondered? God, in his nude state, he was even more beautiful than she could have imagined, his hair loose and tousled from her hands, eyes dark with desire. She stared at his groin and her breath hitched at the sight of him.

His erection was arresting in its size, the skin as smooth as porcelain, thickly veined, and completely engorged with his lust.

He placed the tip of his cock at her entrance and bent over to take her nipple in his mouth. Even after experiencing three incredibly intense orgasms, she was dying to feel him inside her. She moaned and arched her back to get him closer to where she needed him most. He rumbled a low laugh and gently bit her nipple, quickly licking it to ease the sting. Teasing her, he rubbed the tip of his cock against her swollen clit, eliciting another moan from her.

"How badly do you want this?" he asked.

"So much. God, please. I want it so very much."

He smiled and rubbed his tip against her again. "I like it when you say, 'please.'"

He moved his mouth close to her ear and whispered, "Know this, Alexandra. I am going to bury myself so deep inside you that you won't be able to discern where I end and you begin. Tonight, I own your body. Total possession, remember?"

His words thrilled her and made her tremble in anticipation. Never before in her life had she been so devoid of rational thought. She wanted him beyond reason and would have given him anything in that moment, including her soul if he had asked for it. As far as she was concerned, she was already possessed by him. "I'm already all yours," she whispered in return, not sure if he could hear her.

He indeed had heard her and this admission was what he had been waiting for since he first laid eyes on her this evening. He was as hard as stone and wanted to imprint her from the inside so she would still feel him when he was gone in the morning.

He continued to slide his shaft leisurely back and forth along her sex, savoring how drenched in desire she was and enjoying her soft pleas for him to enter her. When he could no longer keep his own patience in check, he slowly sheathed himself inside of her, feeling her warm, slick tissue encasing him in a tight, wet cocoon. He groaned, lost in the pleasure of sinking balls-deep within her. She felt like heaven and he could feel every spasm and tremor as her sex clenched him like a tight little fist. He was momentarily rendered breathless by the profound sensation of being inside her and held himself still so that he could just _feel_ her wrapped around him.

Alex felt so completely full and stretched, his impressive length reaching a place in her body that had never been touched before. While he remained rock still, her muscles worked to relax and accommodate him. It wasn't long before her body started to respond to the sweet invasion and she swiveled her hips to generate some motion.

He slowly began to move within her and they both moaned in simultaneous pleasure. He continued this for a few strokes, reveling in the feel of her skin and her heat. When he no longer could tolerate the languid pace, he pulled out and left just the tip of himself in her. As she was about to push her hips up to meet his, he slammed himself back into her, repeating his thrusts with such power and precision that she felt nailed to the mattress. The pleasure was almost more than she could bear and, for a short time, she just laid there, taking everything he had to give.

He loved watching how her breasts moved with each of his thrusts, how her eyes were half closed while she was lost in pure sensation, the little "o" formed by her lush lips every time he pushed into her all the way. He knew she would be sore tomorrow, but as long as she was enjoying herself tonight, he would not hold back. The deeper he drove into her, the more he realized it was not enough. He would never get enough of her, and it was unsettling.

After a time, she began to arch her hips to meet his thrusts. She wanted to take him in deeper and so she placed her feet flat on the bed to provide more leverage. Every time he withdrew and plunged himself into her, they both grunted in unison becoming more synchronized in their rhythm. Occasionally, he would slow his pace to put his tongue in her mouth and she would draw it in deeper, sucking with such ardor until he pulled away again to start ramming his cock hard and deep within her once more.

She unconsciously dug her nails into his skin with every flex of his muscles. Never had sex felt this natural and good to her with so little effort on her part to guide the movement. The way he fit within her body, how his masculine form touched her everywhere she needed to be touched, along with the dexterity in his movements brought her closer and closer to a climax she feared would break her into pieces.

He could feel her muscles start to tighten and see the tell-tale flush begin at the tops of her breasts. At the base of his spine, he could feel his own orgasm start to build and was relieved that she, too, was close. Seeing her spread beneath him with her long, lustrous curls fanned out around her, she was breathtaking — her face beyond beautiful, lost in abandon. Her moans had such a spellbinding effect on him, though he was unsure of why. He was used to women moaning and calling out his name in the throes of ecstasy but, somehow, her noises completely enraptured him. He wasn't sure when it had happened, but sometime during this evening she had transcended from being just another pretty mortal to something too exquisite to behold.

He slammed into her hard and commanded, "Give me your release, Alexandra. _Now_."

She cried out as the world seemed to stop around her, and all she could do was do was let the spiraling vortex of her climax overtake her as she felt him explode within her. She lay there for a long while just trying to catch her breath, eyes half closed, still feeling him spurting forcefully inside her with an orgasm that seemed to go and on. Her bones felt like they had turned to liquid and she could feel his deep breaths against her neck as he laid on top of her trying to regain his composure.

Loki was overwhelmed at the intensity of his orgasm as he felt its power wash over him in a billowing tide that took long moments to subside. Afterwards, aware that he might be crushing her with his weight, he raised himself up and laid down beside her. Leaning on one elbow, he stared at her face and wondered what it was about this particular woman that had affected him so deeply and differently than the others. Sex was always a welcome distraction for him, but being with Alexandra tonight had provided something far beyond that for him.

He watched her breasts rise and fall with each breath she took, tempted to take them in his mouth once more. Instead, he lightly traced the outline of her nipple with his finger and then trailed it up to her jawline, where he gently caressed her cheek. Her eyes were closed and he could feel that her heart was still pounding in her chest. He would need to have her again and soon; but for now he would let her catch her breath and shower him with the expected praises for his mastery and skill in the art of coupling.

When she had full gain of her senses and felt like she could stand, Alex got up from the bed and donned the silk floral robe that had been hanging on a hook on her closet door. She felt amazing and smiled radiantly at him.

"I'm going to make me a sandwich. Would you like one?" she asked, tying the sash and making her way toward the kitchen.

He sat up on the bed. "A sandwich?!" he asked incredulously. "That's all you can think about right now — something to eat?" He struggled to understand. Where were the accolades? Why was she not singing praises over his sexual prowess?

She laughed brightly. "Listen, I shouldn't have to tell you that _that_," she gestured toward the bed, "and _you_ were incredible. But I am not going to be able to keep up with you if I don't get some food into my system. You've worn me out and I need to replenish my energy stores because we are definitely doing that again. So how about it?"

"No, thank you," he replied, feeling somewhat assuaged but still perplexed.

She walked into the kitchen and pulled out a cast iron skillet and small omelet pan from a lower cabinet. Turning on the heat on her gas stove, she set the pans on side by side burners. Opening the refridgerator, she hauled out bacon, eggs, cheese and butter and then retrieved some bread from a bread box on the counter.

Loki watched her put several pieces of bacon in the skillet and heard the sizzle as each strip pf meat touched the hot pan. As the bacon cooked, she carefully buttered two slices of bread and threw another chunk of butter in the omelet pan. She was humming to herself and was as relaxed as he'd seen her all night. As he observed her deftly crack an egg into the pan, the aroma of the cooking bacon reached his nose.

"That smells quite good," he commented.

She smiled. "I can easily make a sandwich for you too, if you'd like."

"All right," he said, rising from the bed.

She couldn't help but stare at his flawless naked body as he walked toward her with no hint of modesty regarding his bare state.

"Ummm... Are you going to put something on?" she asked, licking her lips.

"Do I need to?"

"Well, do you normally eat while you're naked?"

"Depends on what it is I'm eating," he said with a devilish grin. She blushed instantly. "Would it make you more comfortable if I were dressed in similar attire as you?" he asked.

"Probably. But I don't have another..." Before she could finish her sentence, he was standing in front of her dressed in a white terry cloth robe.

"Jesus Christ!" she exclaimed. "Where the fuck did that come from?"

"From the bathroom where I'm staying," he said with a laugh. She looked from him to the pile of his clothes that were neatly folded on a chair in her living room area. Well, that explained how he got undressed so fast, she thought. She knew he was prone to magical powers, but it was unnerving to see them actually manifest in front of her.

She returned her attentions to the food and proceeded to make two bacon, egg and cheese sandwiches. He sat on a stool at the kitchen counter as she placed a plate in front of him. Taking the stool next to him, she took a large bite of her sandwich and invited him to do the same. He tentatively bit into it and then took a much larger bite when he determined it to be to his liking.

"This is really good!" he declared. He took another large bite and a bit of yolk seeped onto the corner of his mouth.

"Thanks," Alex said, beaming, as she leaned over and gently wiped the yolk off his face with a napkin.

He froze, slightly uncomfortable with the intimacy of the gesture. He watched her continue to eat her sandwich, completely unaffected, as if dining with a god was something she did every day. Sex obviously agreed with her, he mused, observing no trace of anxiety in her current demeanor.

In all these years, with all the Asgardian and Midgardian women he had taken to bed, never once had any of them offered him a meal, let alone cooked for him. In truth, he had never stayed long enough to allow for this type of exchange. But this experience was turning out to be quite different for him just as Alexandra was quite different from all his previous conquests. And for a being who had lived for hundreds of years and was prone to mischief when bored, different was good. Very good.

She poured him a glass of orange juice and took a long drink from one of her own.

"Well, this has certainly been a night of firsts for me," she said, watching him finish off his sandwich.

"For me, too," he said, wiping his mouth with the paper napkin she handed him.

"Really?" She was surprised. "How so?"

He pushed his plate away and took a sip of his orange juice. "Well, first off, no woman — here or on Asgard — has ever deliberated that long over whether or not to take me into her bed."

"So, clearly, these women were not deep thinkers," she replied with a twinkle in her eye.

"And certainly never have any of them gotten up out of bed before our liaisons were over to make a _sandwich_."

"Obviously, horrible hostesses then," she grinned. He couldn't help but return her smile, she was so disarming.

"And what about you, Alexandra?" he queried. "What firsts have you experienced tonight?"

"Well, I've never had sex with an alien before," she giggled.

"God," he corrected, although there was no pique in his tone.

"Whatever. I've never gone to bed with a complete stranger before either, so that was definitely a first."

"Anything else?" he prompted.

"Wouldn't you like to know," she teased.

"Yes, I would."

"At the risk of stroking your already inflated ego, I should tell you that so much of what just happened tonight...these were _all_ firsts for me."

He raised his eyebrow quizzically. "In what way?"

"Well, like when we were at the door and... and," she paused, "you made me come just by touching my breasts with your hands and mouth. I didn't know that was even possible." Her cheeks felt hot. How many times had she blushed in front of him this evening, she wondered. "That, and of course, just a bit ago."

"A little bit ago?"

Much to her chagrin, she blushed yet again.

"Tell me," he said.

She drew in a deep breath and confessed, "I've never had an orgasm just from a man being inside me."

"What?" he exclaimed. "How can this be?"

She became somewhat defensive. "Look, it's not like I've _never_ had an orgasm with a man before. It's just that usually I need some outside manual stimulation to get there. This was just the first time I was able to get off without having to take matters into my own hands. Literally. It...it was incredible."

"_Never_ before?"

"Never."

He was silent for a few moments and then gently said, "These men you were with before me were poor excuses for lovers. If I could, I would make them suffer for their direliction of duty to your exquisite body."

She was momentarily stunned by the weight of his words. "Whoa. While I think that's really rather sweet in a twisted, medieval sort of way, I don't think it was their fault exactly. They were all attentive and caring. The problem is probably more with me."

"How can you say such a thing?" he demanded. "When a man takes a woman to bed, he has only one responsibility to fulfill. The fact that..."

"Loki," she interrupted. "I've always just chalked it up to physiology. That's all. My body just didn't fit right with theirs. It obviously fits very well with yours."

He studied her face, the sincerity in her tone. "It does indeed," he said as he rose from the stool and held out his hand toward her.

This time she did not hesitate to take it.


	4. Chapter 4 - The Lesser of Two Evils

**Chapter 4 - The Lesser of Two Evils**

The sunlight was bright when she opened her eyes. Alex glanced at the clock on her nightstand and saw that it was 10:38 AM. She stretched her arms above her head and yawned. She was sore, deliciously so, but was grateful for the tender spots inside and outside of her body for they were proof that her night with Loki had not been a dream.

She had passed out some time during the night from sheer exhaustion after he had taken her again twice. There had been no goodbyes, no platitudes about seeing each other again. He simply held her in his arms until she could no longer keep her eyes open.

A strange noise in the kitchen jolted her from her thoughts. She jumped up when she realized it was her phone vibrating in her purse on the counter. She grabbed it just in time to see that it was Jillian.

"Hey there," she answered breathlessly.

"Where the hell have you been?" Jillian shouted.

"I've been here," Alex replied, "getting my brains fucked out."

"What? Oh my God. Who _is_ this? Did I dial a wrong number?"

"Ha ha. Very funny."

"Is he still there?" Jillian whispered.

"Well, if he was, it's not like he could hear you on the phone," Alex joked. "No, he's gone."

"Don't go anywhere. I'll be over in twenty with bagels and lox." Before Alex could reply, Jillian had hung up.

True to her word, Jillian arrived a short time later with bagels in hand. "Well, look at you," she said, giving Alex the once over. "All freshly fucked and looking, dare I say, _happy_?"

Alex smiled at her friend as she got out plates from the cupboard and handed Jillian a steaming mug of black coffee.

Jillian took a sip and said, "Well, I know it wasn't Eli since he's the one who raised an all point's bulletin on your absence."

"Ugh, he left me two messages last night. Followed by your three. I could kick your ass, by the way, for leaving me there with him while you went to go schmooze it up with Tony Stark. Some friend."

"Oh please. You're a big girl. You can take care of yourself." Jillian spread a light layer of cream cheese on her bagel and then laid out a piece of lox on top. "So who did you leave with? That hot guy from the legal department?" Alex shook her head as Jillian took a bite. "Then who put that ridiculous grin on your face?" she asked with her mouth half full.

"If you must know," Alex said, biting into her bagel. "I left with Loki Odinson."

Jillian's bright blue eyes widened in horror. "What. The. Fuck. Are you out of your damn mind? What the hell were you thinking?"

"What?" Alex queried. "Did it escape your attention that the guy is seriously, over the top hot?"

"And did it escape _your_ attention that the guy is a deranged mass murderer?"

"Jillian, come on. Wasn't he was punished and pardoned for his crimes? Hasn't he been spending the last few years making restitution? It's not like he would be allowed to hang out at _Ironman's_ party if that wasn't the case."

"So what! He's still the jerk who leveled half of New York City and tried to enslave all mankind."

"I _know_ that. Really, I do. But believe me when I say he doesn't come across that way at all when you are face to face with him. Really. And believe it or not, he was actually a very attentive and considerate lover and not all about just getting his own rocks off."

"I really think you have lost your mind," Jillian said in an exasperated tone.

"Aren't you the one who keeps telling me to go get laid? So I finally do, and it's the most amazing, mind-blowing sex of my life, and instead of being thrilled for me all you can do is bitch at me about it?"

"Christ, Alex! Yes, I told you to go get laid, but I didn't tell you to go do it with Charles Manson!"

"Oh, come on Jillian. That's not fair. Loki doesn't even have a swastika tattooed on his forehead."

The two stared at each other for a moment and then broke into peals of laughter. Sitting side by side at the kitchen counter, they ate their bagels and sipped their coffee in comfortable silence.

Brushing the crumbs off her lap, Jillian finally asked, "It was really that good, huh?"

"It was that good times a thousand," Alex replied with a gleam in her eyes.

"Details then! I didn't come all the way over here just to eat a bagel." Jillian listened as Alex netted out the highlights of the past evening in the kind of detail only reserved for the best of friends. As Alex recounted everything that had happened with Loki, Jillian's initial feelings of dismay slowly became replaced with how impressed she was with what had transpired and how much the encounter had obviously affected Alex.

Jillian smiled. "You know, all those times I tried to convince you that it would be fun to hook with a bad boy — I really just meant a guy with some tattoos who rode a motorcycle or something."

"Well, I'm a bit of an over-achiever," Alex replied.

"Apparently." Jillian reached out and put her hand on her friend's. "I get that it was fantastic. I'm not trying to make you feel bad about it, but what gives? This whole thing is not like you. You overthink everything and you're usually beyond cautious when it comes to the opposite sex. What made you do it? And don't tell me it was just because he was hot."

"I needed an escape from Eli and he offered me one?"

"Why does that sound like a question and not an answer?"

Alex looked down at the floor, unable to meet Jillian's eyes. She paused for a moment and then said, "I saw him and all I could think was how beautiful and how out of my league he was. I mean, he's a fucking _god_ after all. And even with everything in his past, I was just so overwhelmed by how amazingly sexy he came across. So when he showed an interest in me, I was utterly floored. For some reason that I can't fathom, out of every other woman at that party, he wanted _me_. And for the first time in a long time, I felt...special. So I just went for it."

Jillian glared at her. "Oh. My. God. I know this dejected tone!"

Alex looked up in surprise. "What?"

"You talked to Kyle!" Jillian hissed accusingly.

"No," Alex shook her head. Jillian folded her arms across her chest and continued to to stare Alex down. "We didn't talk. It was just an email exchange."

"When?"

"Friday afternoon."

"Damnit, Alex! You need to cut him completely out of your life. He's like a poison to your system," Jillian exclaimed.

"I still consider him as a friend. And it really was the most innocuous of emails. Here, I'll show you." Alex pulled out her smartphone and began scrolling through emails. When she found the one she wanted to share, she handed the phone to Jillian.

Jillian read the email and handed the phone back to Alex. "I don't care how seemingly innocent this email appears. Kyle always has an ulterior motive. He doesn't connect with you for months at a time and then BAM! One day you get a card, or an email, or a call from out of nowhere and you re-engage. He's fucking stringing you along and you would prefer to defend him and say it's all in the name of friendship than to see it for what it truly is."

"Why do you insist that people who were once involved romantically can't be just friends? What about Deb and Brandon? They get along great."

"Come on, Alex! The difference with the Deb and Brandon thing is that Brandon is not a fucking asshole who just wants to see if he can get back into her pants whenever it might be convenient for him, and Deb is not still in love with him. You and Kyle cannot be friends. Every single time you have contact with him, you take a step backward and start feeling insecure and low. It's like a moth to a flame and it's getting really fucking tiring to watch."

"Then don't. I really don't need the lecture, Jillian. Again. You're not my mother and I don't answer to anyone but myself. I am fine. Truly. So let's drop the subject." Alex said definitively.

Jillian pursed her lips to keep from saying anything else. She knew that Alex was a stubborn as a mule when it came to certain things, her relationship with Kyle being one of them. She began tidying up the kitchen, throwing away the bag that she brought the bagels in and putting the dishes in the dishwasher.

"So are you planning on seeing him again?" she asked as began sweeping the crumbs on the counter onto her hand and then into the sink.

"Kyle?"

"No!"

"Who? Loki? No. At least I don't think so. We didn't really talk about it." Alex smiled slightly as she recalled the events of the previous evening. "To be honest, we didn't do a whole lot of talking."

"Hmmm. Well, you know he'll be making some semi-regular appearances at Stark Industries over the next few months."

"What?" Alex's eyes widened in surprise.

"Loki, Thor, Jane - they're all going to be working to develop a type of transit system here similar to the Bifrost."

"Biwhat?" Alex asked.

"The Bifrost is how the Asgardians move from realm to realm. Honestly, how do you not know this?" Jillian replied in irritation. "Tony wants to to recreate a smaller version here for intracontinental travel. Not for mass transit, mind you. Just for high ranking government officials like the President and for emergencies."

"How do you even know this?"

"Well, technically, I'm on the team. It is sort of aerospace-like in theory, but I only play a pretty minor role. This is a huge project for Stark and could take years to accomplish."

Jillian began gathering her purse and sunglasses. "Do you want to see him again?"

Alex ran her finger around the rim of her coffee mug. "If the question is would I have sex with him again, then it's an unequivocal yes."

Jillian gave her a kiss on the cheek and made her way to the door. Opening it, she turned to her friend and said, "How fucked up is it that I would prefer you to be with the guy who tried to take over the world than to have you ever hook up again with your ex-boyfriend from Baltimore?"

Alex smiled wanly. "I'll see you tomorrow."


	5. Chapter 5- A Hard World for Small Things

**Chapter 5 - A Hard World for Small Things**

After Jillian had left and Alex had drank her second cup of coffee, she pulled out her iPad and settled herself onto the sofa. She typed "Loki Odinson" into a Google search that generated 6,872 results, including a large number of fan pages. It was not surprising that there were so many pages devoted just to his freakishly good looks. Women who had only seen him from afar cyber drooled over his appearance in their blogs. Alex had been given the gift of seeing him up close and knew she would not soon shake the image of his exquisite features in the throes of ecstasy.

Many of the preliminary facts she already knew. He was raised as a son of Odin and brother to Thor, was well-skilled in magic, and prone to great mischief. Driven by jealousy over the perceived favoritism of his father for Thor and the belief that his brother was not yet ready to ascend to the throne, Loki initiated events which resulted in the Frost Giants' presence on Asgard and Thor's eventual banishment to Midgard. It was soon after he learned that Laufey, King of the Frost Giants, was, in actuality, his birth father and that Odin's powerful magic had kept Loki's true form hidden even from himself.

Alex paused as she read this, remembering the comment he had made the night before when she had asked him about protection against unwanted pregnancies. She felt a deep pity for him in that moment, thinking how shocking and upsetting it must have been for Loki to have learned that most of his life had been shrouded in a lie. To have always felt inferior to his brother, Thor, only to later find out that they weren't truly related or even the same species must have been enraging. She knew that it did not justify Loki's actions, but she could understand how it could have driven him to a dark place.

Alex scrolled through various news sites and found a significant amount of information on the _Huffington Post_ site. Switching from coffee to water, she reclined on the sofa and propped her iPad against a throw pillow where she became further absorbed in the articles.

Spurred by self-hatred and the desire to prove himself worthy to Odin, Loki orchestrated a plan to double cross and kill Laufey and bring about the genocide of the Frost Giants. Thwarted by Thor, who destroyed the Bifrost to keep the Nine Realms safe, Loki fell into the hands of the Other, leader of the Chitauri race. It was there that he was tortured and manipulated into becoming the Other's pawn. While little detail was given to the extent of the torture during his captivity with the Chitauri, there was no doubt in all of the accounts that it took all of Loki's cunning to persuade the Other that he was a worthy ally.

Promised an army to help subjugate the inhabitants of Midgard in return for retrieving the Tesseract (a great source of limitless, but little understood, cosmic power), Loki utilized a powerful scepter given to him by the Other to exert mind control over several people, including Dr. Erik Selvig and SHIELD Agent Clint Barton, for assistance with the scheme.

The formation of the Avengers team, which included Ironman, Thor, Captain America, the Hulk, and Black Widow, was orchestrated by SHIELD in response to the dangerous threat of Loki's plan. The Avengers managed to defeat Loki and the Chitaurians and save the world, but not before a massive battle occurred which resulted in the devastation of New York City and many lost lives.

This had occurred a few years before Alex had moved here. Everything had since been rebuilt, thanks to Asgardian magic; and it would have been unbelievable to think of the decimation of the city had there not been so many photographs to document it. She looked at the various images of the destruction and read through some of the bios of those who had senselessly lost their lives during the attack, growing more nauseated with every article. It was deeply unsettling to think that the being she had spent the night with had been responsible for this, and she soon realized that Jillian's initial reaction had been completely justified.

Once Loki was defeated, Thor brought him back to Asgard to serve his sentence as determined by Odin. While imprisoned for his crimes against humanity as well as his own realm, another race, called the Dark Elves, attacked Asgard. They killed Frigga, the Queen of Asgard and Thor and Loki's mother, who gave up her life to protect Jane Foster. It was then that Loki was provided with the opportunity to redeem himself when Thor released him to help avenge their mother's death and prevent the Dark Elves from plunging all the Nine Realms into perpetual darkness. Loki helped Thor strategize a plan to defeat the Dark Elves and was believed to have been killed in the process of executing that plan.

The afternoon was late, but Alex was deeply engrossed in the articles and posts detailing what had transpired since Thor had prevailed over the Dark Elves. She was not as familiar with most of these events and was rather curious how Loki was able to now walk the streets of New York.

It appeared that after Loki had been severely wounded and thought to be dead, he was able to use his magic to heal himself. He returned to Asgard to find that Odin had gone mad at the loss of his wife. Coaxing him into the restorative Odinsleep, Loki altered his own appearance to look like Odin so that he could assume the throne. While in this guise, he gave his blessing to Thor's request to return to Midgard and serve as its protector. Thor made it no further than the Bifrost before he realized that something was off in his father's stance and in the way he was so amenable.

Thor immediately returned to the palace and confronted Loki. Filled with mixed emotions - the joy of realizing his brother was not dead and the anger over almost having been duped, Thor dragged Loki to see their father. Awoken by their intrusion, Odin used the last bit of his power to draw out most of Loki's magic and placed his fate in Thor's hands. So weakened by this act, Odin fell back into the Odinsleep where he remained even now, two and a half years later.

As far as Alex could tell, because of Loki's crucial involvement with the defeat of the Dark Elves, the Asgardians were willing to overlook his past transgressions as long as Thor was the acting King in Odin's place. In a short amount of time, and with the facilitation of Jane Foster, the two brothers came to an understanding that they each had significant weaknesses on their own; but that by working together, they were capable of ruling over Asgard in a manner that would serve the people well. Forging an agreement and a truce of sorts, Thor installed Loki as his main advisor. It appeared that this arrangement suited both parties well — Loki received an opportunity to rule by vicarious authority and Thor received wise counsel in matters that were not his area of expertise.

However, their relationship remained quite strained on a personal level. Jane Foster, who had spent a significant time in Asgard while the new royal authority had been established, miraculously convinced the two that they needed family counseling. Seeking out the resources of Tony Stark, they arranged for Dr. Elizabeth Chase, a renowned psychologist out of New York City to begin meeting with the brothers in Asgard.

After several months, a staff member from Dr. Chase's office leaked the information to the press. Outraged at the news that Loki was free on Asgard, SHIELD and the authorities sought justice and demanded for him to be extradited to stand trial for the crimes he had committed. Having made major gains in therapy, Loki agreed to comply as he did not want to put Thor in a compromising position given that he had agreed to be a protector of Midgard.

It soon became evident that Loki would not be able to receive a fair trial in New York, so it was set in Boston, Massachusetts. At this time, Thor implored Tony Stark for help in the defense of his brother. Stark, out of loyalty to Thor and all he had done to defend the Earth, arranged and paid for the top defense lawyers in the country to represent Loki. Their defense was straightforward —innocent by reason of insanity, as brought upon by the torture and mental manipulation of the Other.

The trial lasted for three months as witnesses were brought in to testify, including all members of the Avengers team. Loki waived his right to doctor/patient confidentiality and allowed Dr. Chase to testify on his mental state. She attested in court that, in her professional opinion, centuries of suffering from an inferiority complex could do much damage to a psyche, which would only be further compounded with learning that one's parentage and upbringing had been based on a lie. She testified that the result was akin to Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, that was then been further exploited by the cruelty at the hands of the Other and the Chitauri. Given those circumstances, it was completely plausible that Loki was so under their influence that he was rendered temporarily insane.

Alex reviewed a transcript of the court proceedings that had been posted online.

_**Dr. Chase:**_ _"This Asgardian race, while they are so much more advanced than us in so many ways, are very primitive in dealing with their emotions. Feelings are not discussed, especially with the males. They are taught at a very early age to deal only by action — action that oftentimes would be considered to be violent in nature and unfathomable to most humans. In the time I have worked with Loki, I have seen tremendous growth and progress in him." _

_**Prosecuting Attorney Grantham: **__"Isn't he known as the God of Lies? Isn't it entirely possible that he has been lying this whole time to make you think he is making progress?" _

_**Dr. Chase: **__"Of course, that's possible. He is a brilliant being capable of achieving anything he sets his mind to. But I have witnessed some pretty raw emotion and revelatory admissions in many of our sessions that I choose to believe are genuine and healing."_

The knot in Alex's stomach began to loosen as she read Dr. Chase's testimony. The thought that perhaps Loki had been able to move beyond his past and learn from his mistakes - as horrific as they were - eased the discomfort she felt in allowing herself to have become so smitten with him. The afternoon had become early evening and she took a short break to fix herself a snack. She knew she had other things she should have been doing, but she could not tear herself away from learning all she could about Loki. She resumed her examination of the court transcripts.

When Thor was called to the stand, he testified that Loki had been sentenced on Asgard by the All-Father, and had been imprisoned there for his crimes as well as been stripped of most of his magic. His release from prison only became necessary in order to help defeat the Dark Elves. Thor implored the jury for leniency noting that, without Loki's help, the Earth would have plunged into darkness and ruin.

_**Thor Odinson:**_ _"You judge him by the laws of your world but he is not of this world. You wish him to suffer for his crimes but I am here to tell you that he already has suffered unspeakable horrors. And, as for his retribution, being stripped of most of his magic would be like having one of your limbs removed, which your society would deem a barbaric and cruel punishment if meted out on one of your own." _

_**Prosecuting Attorney Grantham:**_ _"Is it possible that you cannot be be objective - he is your brother after all? You were the one who released him from his cell." _

_**Thor Odinson:**_ _"If I had not done so, you and everyone in this courtroom would be dead now. You owe your very lives to him and that should count for something._"

Alex shuddered as she read this portion of the transcript. She had heard about these events in the news a couple years back when they had occurred, but had felt so far removed from it all. In truth, she had had no idea the gravity of the situation and had only heard minimally about Loki's involvement to defeat the Dark Elves. She wondered if trying to enslave the world and then ending up saving it in the end did make up for all the wrong after all.

_**Tony Stark: **__"Hey, it's not like we're besties or anything, but I think it would be a horrible mistake to lock this guy away for eternity. The knowledge he possesses alone could be harnessed for so much good. Beyond that, he has seen things in the universe that none of us are even aware of, so when these other beings decide to pull a War of the Worlds maneuver — which they always seem to eventually do — I want this guy on my side."_

_**Prosecuting Attorney Grantham:**_ _"And if he is set free, what makes you think he will stay on your side? What's going to keep him from doing this all over again?"_

_**Tony Stark: **__"Let's see, how about the Avengers? Or maybe S.H.I.E.L.D? Or how about a pissed-off big brother who happens to be Ruler of Asgard and the God of Thunder, as well as the God of Kicking Your Ass into Some other Realm if You Eff Up Again? There are lots of ways we can ensure that Reindeer Games over there doesn't get the chance to fall back into old habits."_

Finally, Dr. Erik Selvig and Clint Barton were called to the stand. The defense attorneys made a brilliant case around how their specific actions also led to the deaths and devastation in New York and that they, too, should be put on trial because they had as much control over their actions as Loki had over his own. This was the moment that the jury became swayed. After deliberating for five days, they returned with a verdict of Not Guilty by Reason of Insanity.

SHIELD Director, Nick Fury, asked to meet with the judge prior to sentencing. The judge then ruled that Loki had to continue with psychological counseling, at a minimum of twice a month for the next eight to ten years; that he could not physically be in any Realm without being accompanied by Thor for the next one hundred years; and that any time Loki was on Earth/Midgard, he would need to be under the constant surveillance of SHIELD. In addition, restitution would need to paid to the victims' families; and, as part of community service, Loki would need to assist in the rebuilding of the city.

Alex scanned through a few more articles after opening a bag of tortilla chips and filling a ramekin full of salsa. It was past six o'clock but she didn't want to take the time to fix herself a meal even though her stomach was growling.

The restitution to the victims' families in the form of monetary payment had been swift and easy since gold and minerals that were deemed valuable on Earth were abundant in Asgard. Converted into US currency when brought over, Loki paid out over $8 Billion to the surviving families of the 1,139 victims. Rebuilding the city had also proven easy. While much of Loki's magic had been stripped away, his ability to manipulate molecules and matter was still in tact, which helped to remove rubble and to quickly reconstruct the damaged parts of the city.

Alex thought she had hit the jackpot when she came across a fascinating article in _Vanity Fair_, entitled, "_The Boy Who Would Be King_." It was a 10-page spread, published six months after the damage to the city had been completely restored. An interview with Loki, one of the very few she found, it featured stunning photographs taken by Annie Leibovitz.

One of the images showed a brooding Loki sporting his iconic golden helmet with the curved horns, sitting on an ornate chair made to resemble a throne, one leg thrown over the arm in an irreverent gesture. Another showed a more urban, sophisticated side, with him in profile wearing a white Tom Ford suit, surveying the New York skyline from high atop some Manhattan high rise. The most beautiful portrait, though, in her opinion, was in black and white where he was seated on a plush, comfortable looking sofa, laughing, with his hands in mid-clap. Laughing Loki was simply dazzling. Even better than Orgasming Loki, Alex thought. She briefly contemplated making this image her new screensaver.

The interviewer was a woman named, Delia Jaffre, a reporter Alex had never heard of but was impressed by how she was able to get Loki to reveal quite a bit of himself.

_**VF**__: A few years ago, you learned that you are actually a Frost Giant by birth. Why do you not take on your true form?_

_**LO**__: As far as I'm concerned, this is my true form. It is the only one I have ever known. You have men and women here on Midgard who proclaim that they were born in the wrong bodies. They take hormones, change their appearance, and undergo extensive surgery to alter their sex -— all to become something they can feel more comfortable with. I was raised from infancy as an Asgardian. This is the form I am comfortable in._

_**VF**__: Your whole life, all you have ever wanted is to rule Asgard as King. Now you serve as the right hand of the King, your brother, Thor. How have you been able to reconcile this?_

_**LO**__: First, let us be clear that Odin is still King and the All-Father. It is only while he is in the Odinsleep that Thor is the acting King of Asgard. While I am certainly only serving in an advisory capacity to Thor, I am held to many of the same responsibilities and expectations as he is. It is a very difficult and taxing role to be King — one that I did not fully understand until now. It has given me a newfound respect for my father and what he has had to do to keep order in the Nine Realms for more than a thousand years. I know now that it was not only Thor who was not ready to assume the throne on his own, but myself as well. Acting together, however, we are so much more capable and effective than we ever could be in acting alone._

_**VF**__: How so?_

_**LO**__: I know a great many things that my brother does not. But what he lacks in knowledge, he makes up for in compassion. His time on Midgard has taught him the value of life and of living things. He has learned humility, something that I am not as familiar with. I am well skilled at strategy and negotiation and careful planning. I can take a long time to act on something. Thor is all about being decisive and taking action. We complement each other._

_**VF**__: What is it like for you to no longer have full access to your magic?_

_**LO**__: It is like learning to breathe all over again. I had not realized how much I had come to rely on magic until so much of my ability was taken away._

_**VF**__: If the restoration of New York is any indication, it seems as though you still have quite a bit of that power._

_**LO**__: All that is left are simple parlor tricks, as far as I'm concerned._

_**VF**__: What have you lost that you miss the most?_

_**LO**__: I am no longer able to alter reality. I found that ability to be helpful in a myriad of circumstances._

_**VF**__: What would you alter now, if you had the opportunity?_

_**LO**__: What this worlds thinks of me._

_**VF**__: What would you want everyone to think? _

_**LO**__: That, while I've done monstrous things, I am not a monster._

The last statement left Alex breathless and she felt a small ache in her heart for him, despite all the rational thoughts that told her she should be feeling otherwise. But then it struck her. Most of those who felt his sentencing had been too light probably didn't realize that locking Loki up in a cell for centuries would have been meaningless to him. The deepest cut to a being who had unsuccessfully only sought acceptance and adoration his entire life would be to force him to live among them, under their constant scrutiny, judgement and hatred, and to have him be able to do nothing about it. He had gotten what he deserved.

She closed her eyes and rubbed her temples, needing a break from all things Loki. Even without his physical presence there, he was all-consuming. She took a sip of water and pulled up her emails, searching for a specific exchange. The one from Kyle on Friday simply read:

_Hey Alex,_

_Was just watching Raising Arizona and thought of you. "Sometimes it's a hard world for small things..." But you already know that. Drop me a line and fill me in on how things are going in NYC._

_Yours,_

_Kyle_

She read her response, artfully crafted to appear nonchalant:

_Kyle,_

_"So many social engagements, so little time." You know how it goes. NYC is treating me very well. How's Balmer, hon, treating you?_

_\- Alex_

She saw that she had an unopened email from him waiting for her in her inbox.

_Alex,_

_Balmer is missing you. You should come home for a visit._

_Yours,_

_Kyle_

And there it was. The hook that Jillian had warned her about. And had Alex not just spent the last 24 hours — both literally and figuratively — filled with Loki, she might have taken the bait. And there was no denying that she was still very much tempted to do so anyway. But a clever response required some careful attention and, aside from feeling totally drained, she had other things to occupy her thoughts. Like looking at those _Vanity Fair_ pictures again.


	6. Chapter 6 - Something to Believe In

**Chapter 6 -Something to Believe In**

Monday morning hit Alex like a freight train. She was still exhausted and her Double Dirty Chai was not really helping her feel more alert. When she got to her desk, Eli immediately pounced on her and asked with concern, "Alex, why didn't you call me back? I was really worried about you!"

_Damnit_! Alex had completely forgotten about Eli and the potential ramifications of leaving him high and dry at the party on Saturday night. "Eli, I am so sorry! I totally should have called you back to let you know that I was okay yesterday and it completely slipped my mind. I'm really, really sorry about that," she said sincerely.

"What happened to you? Where did you go?" he probed.

Alex set her purse down on her desk and began unlocking her file drawers. She couldn't look him in the eye and was starting to feel apprehensive about how this was going to play out. "I... I just didn't feel like being there anymore and so I went home."

"Alone?" he prodded.

She began to rearrange the items on top of her desk. "Umm...No."

"Who did you leave with?" he asked, his tone becoming demanding.

She was started to get irritated by the inquisition and placed her red Swingline down on her desk with more force than was necessary. "Honestly, why does it matter?" she snapped back at him.

"Because I want to know."

"Eli, it shouldn't matter."

"Alex, it matters to me." He reached out and put his hand on her shoulder. "I stood in a ridiculously long line just to get _you_ a glass of champagne only to find that you ditched me without a word. I think I have a right to know. So, who did you leave the party with?"

He had a point, she thought, feeling the guilt wash over her. She reluctantly replied, "I left with Loki."

Eli had a look of complete horror on his face. "Alex, I'm okay with you not being interested in me, but please don't tell me that you spent the night with that...that murderer."

"I...I don't know what to say."

Eli just stood there and stared at her for a long time while she averted her gaze to any and everything else in the room but him. "I guess there is nothing more to say. You're not the person I thought you were," he said as he shook his head in disgust and went back to his desk.

Alex thought about responding, but then silently concurred that there was indeed nothing more to say. She thought about emailing him a link to the _Vanity Fair_ article she had read last night and was so affected by, but then thought better of it. Eli certainly had the right to his own opinion and it was one that was shared by many.

The morning dragged on and on, and as much as she did not want them to, Eli's words wounded her. While she had no interest in him romantically, she did consider him to be a friend and valued his opinions. He had looked upon her as if she were the lowly of the low, and it stung.

Burying herself in her work so that she wouldn't have to socialize with anyone, she chose to have lunch at her desk and then quickly skated out at five o'clock, not stopping to talk to any of her colleagues. She was far too much in her own head and wanted to stay there to think things through. After eating a Cobb salad that she had thrown together for dinner, she picked up her cell phone and ran through her contacts list until she found the right number.

A male voice answered on the third ring. "Hello?"

"Hi - it's me, Alex."

"Alex! How the heck are you?" The voice was rich and warm.

"Good, I'm good." She smiled contentedly, the voice blanketing her in familiar comfort.

"When are you coming to Baltimore for a visit?"

"Umm...not really sure."

"They're having a John Waters retrospective at the Charles in a few months — you have _got_ to come home for that."

"Sounds awesome," she replied. "I'll need a place to crash."

"You are always welcome here, but you know Dana's condo is so much nicer than my row house bachelor pad."

"Good point. I'll talk to her and try to arrange something. Hey Brandon, I really wanted to ask you something."

"Sure - what's up?"

"Based on your professional experience, do you think that people who do horrible things are capable of changing?"

"Whoa. Are we talking about Kyle here?"

"God no! I'm not asking about someone who's just a jerk. I'm talking about someone who made some major fucked up mistakes and then served their time. Is it possible for a person like that to change for the good?"

"Care to elaborate?" Brandon asked.

She began twisting a lock of her hair. "Umm...no, not really."

"Okay then. Alex, I would not be in my line of work if I didn't believe that people could truly change. Circumstances can lead you to do very stupid things, but those actions don't have to define the person you ultimately end up being. I deal with gang bangers all the time who have made stupid, horrific decisions that have cost other people their lives. And yes, with the right guidance and a whole lot of effort on their part, I believe that they can turn their lives around and become contributing members of society."

"So it's not crazy to want to give someone the benefit of the doubt for a checkered past?"

"What does your gut tell you?"

"I don't trust my gut any more, Brandon."

"Alex, you are an intelligent, compassionate and beautiful woman. I don't trust your gut when it comes to Kyle, but I do trust your judgement in almost everything else. Do you want to tell me about him?"

"Not yet. I've got the voice of Jillian over one shoulder already and I'm kind of not ready to let go of this yet.

"Well, you know I'm here if you need me."

"Thanks, Brando. You're by far the best clinical social worker I know."

"I'm the _only_ one you know," he chuckled. "Listen, I should get going. I'm meeting everyone up at Fell's Point tonight. Really wish you were here."

"So jealous! Tell everyone I said, 'Hi.'"

"Will do."

Alex disconnected from the call and immediately felt homesick. The move to New York had been cleansing for her and necessary, but it had been difficult leaving everything and everyone behind. Deb, Brandon, Dana, Jake, and Lurch. They had all been thick as thieves with her and Jillian, spending practically every weekend together during college, grad school, and beyond. Each one so different from the other, they complemented one another in a way that had cemented their friendship throughout the years.

Brandon, the sensitive soul, was a licensed clinical social worker working with the under-served population of Baltimore. Deb, the witty one, was an advertising copywriter for a small agency located in the Inner Harbor. Dana, the problem solver, worked for a consulting firm in DC and made scads of money. What exactly she consulted on, no one in their group understood except for Jake, who was in finance and was all about taking action and risks. Lurch — so named for his enormous height and two-year Goth phase during college which reminded everyone of the character from the Addams Family — was the mellow underachiever romantic who came from money and didn't really have much use for it. He owned a used record shop in Hampden and played occasional gigs as the drummer for a local band called, Honey Badger.

They were there for her when Alex got her heart broken over Kyle the first time, and then there for her when it happened again, there for her when her mother got sick, and there for her when she passed. They were her family. Her only family now.

Later that evening, curled up in bed, Alex reflected on what Brandon had said and what she had read in the transcript from Dr. Chase. It _was_ possible for people to change. She had to believe it.


	7. Chapter 7 - Stony-Faced Accomplice

**Chapter 7 - Stony-Faced Accomplice**

It took two weeks before Eli spoke to her again voluntarily, which made work somewhat uncomfortable since their desks faced each other's and they frequently were required to share information for their jobs. Alex had kept their conversation professional and Eli would respond with the perfunctory answers as required. When his self-imposed moratorium appeared to be over, he took baby steps in engaging with her again, keeping topics light and avoiding anything regarding her social life. This had been perfectly fine with Alex.

Spring had finally ended and the hot, sticky summer in the city began in full swing. It had been nearly a month since the party at the Waldorf-Astoria and Alex had returned to her previous uneventful schedule of work, downtime at home, yoga classes, and the occasional dinner and drinks with friends. It was the kind of monotony that brought her comfort.

Sitting at her desk, the phone rang. She could see it was Jillian's extension. "Hey! How was the conference?" she exclaimed when she picked up the receiver. Jillian had spent the first part of the week in Philadelphia at some "Gathering of the Geeks" as she called it.

"Riveting. Hey, I need you to come up here as soon as you can. Take the South elevator."

Alex looked at the geological survey on her desk. "Does it have to be now? I'm right in the middle of something."

"Yes, now. Remember, South elevator."

"Okay, bossy much? Be there in five minutes."

Alex made her way to the appropriate elevator and pushed the button for the 51st floor where Jillian and the other aerospace engineers worked. The elevator music was a mixture of classic rock and 80's metal, a favorite genre for Tony Stark. Alex found herself humming along to _Bad Medicine_ by Bon Jovi.

When the doors opened, she exited and turned left, walking by a bank of glass-walled conference rooms. She almost stopped dead in her tracks when she saw several people huddled in one of them — a group that included Tony, Thor, Loki, and Jane, all engaged in a very animated conversation. Dear God, there he was, looking as though he had just stepped out of the pages of _GQ_ magazine. Did the guy even know _how_ to dress down, she wondered. Stark was in t-shirt and jeans while Loki had on a _three_-piece suit.

As she walked by, Alex stared at Loki, barely able to refrain from waving to him. He was so ridiculously good-looking that she swore her mouth started watering at the sight of him as if he was a meal for her to devour. She saw him glance up at her, make eye contact, and...then… Nothing. Absolutely nothing. Not even a hint of recognition had crossed his beautiful features. What. The. Fuck. Alex was crushed. Feeling demoralized, she pulled her gaze away and slowly kept walking toward Jillian's desk.

Jillian was perched on top, swinging her legs, grinning from ear to ear. Since she was so petite, she loved wearing ultra high heels and was currently flaunting a pair of nude platform peeptoes that were truly fetish worthy. "Well? Did you see who's here?" she screeched.

"Yes," Alex replied weakly.

"You don't seem very excited. _Why_ don't you seem excited?" Jillian narrowed her eyes at Alex.

"We just made eye contact and he looked right through me as if he's never seen me before. Hardly the kind of reaction that breeds excitement," Alex commented.

Jillian appeared unfazed. "Well, he's in a meeting for God's sake. What did you expect him to do — jump up and run out to embrace you while orchestral music swells in the background? Get real."

"I would have been happy with just the slightest hint of recognition or acknowledgement. A wink. A nod. _Something_," Alex pouted.

Jillian jumped down from her desk and sat down in her chair, turning her back to Alex. "Well, I just wanted you to know that he was back," she said dismissively.

"So now what?" Alex asked.

Jillian turned. "Well, now you parade right by him again and don't pay a bit of attention to him. You go back to your desk and sulk the day away."

"_This_ was your master plan?" Alex asked incredulously.

"No. My master plan involved you being elated at the sight of him and _then_ we were going to formulate the actual plan to get you two together again. Cuz' quite frankly, you were super fun to hang out with for about a week or so after you got laid. Now you're back to being morose most of the time and I want you to snap out of it."

"Jesus, keep your voice down!" Alex said, looking embarrassingly around the room. No one, fortunately, was paying a bit of attention to them.

"But since you're all butt hurt because he didn't acknowledge you — while he was in a meeting — with your boss' boss' boss I might add — then I really don't have an alternate plan that's going to meet with your unrealistic expectations."

"God, could you be any more annoying!" Alex exclaimed to which Jillian batted her eyelashes in response. "Now I'm humiliated because I know he caught me staring at him."

"Well, if he truly has no idea who you are, then that shouldn't matter. He's obscenely gorgeous and probably gets stared at all the time," Jillian pointed out.

"Okay. You're actually making sense. I'm just going to quickly walk past, head down..."

Jillian interrupted, "No head down — that just shows a lack of confidence. Head up high but no eye contact, got it? If it's all a big act, your lack of eye contact will spur things on. Trust me."

"Whatever. I've got to go back to get some work done."

"Remember, no eye contact this time!" Jillian called to her as she was leaving.

Alex walked back toward the elevators, this time keeping her eyes straightforward. As soon as she pushed the down button, she heard a group of people walking toward the elevator and her stomach dropped as she recognized their voices.

The doors opened and she stepped in, realizing that they were too close for her not to hold the elevator car for them without appearing obvious that she was trying to avoid them. The group entered and Jane Foster squealed, "Alex! Oh my Gosh! It _is_ you! How nice to see you again." Jane gave Alex a hug and Alex smiled warmly at her, despite the butterflies wreaking havoc in her stomach.

"Alex, I want you to meet Thor. Thor, this is Alex. Alex, Thor."

Thor took Alex's hand and raised it, bowing his head slightly as he said, "A pleasure to meet you, Lady Alex."

Jane was beaming as she introduced her boyfriend to Alex, who was more than just a little starstruck at meeting the God of Thunder. His hand was enormous in comparison to hers and she could feel his strength humming just beneath his skin. She looked into his handsome face with nothing less than complete awe.

"And this is Loki. Loki, this is my friend, Alex. Alex, Loki."

Alex's breath caught in her throat as she turned to face Loki. Just as Thor had done, Loki took Alex's hand and raised it. Her skin felt electrified by the sudden contact with his and she pulled her hand away reflexively at the shock.

"Nice to meet you, Alexandra," he said, appearing as though he was vaguely bored with the situation and merely being polite. But the tone of his voice betrayed him and the fact that he had called her by her proper name made her realize that he indeed remembered her.

Tony looked quizzically between the two of them. "Alex, you need the 28th floor, right?" he asked, his finger poised and ready to push the button.

Alex was surprised that he knew what floor she worked on, considering they had never really exchanged any words beyond a greeting shared in passing. "Yes, that's right. Um, thanks." Turning to Jane, she asked, "So, when did you get in?"

"About four days ago. We just kicked off this long-term project. We're here for two weeks and then we'll be back and forth alternating a few weeks on a few weeks off for at least the next year or so — however long it takes. Did Jillian tell you what we're doing? It's so exciting!"

Before Alex could respond, Jane exclaimed, "Oh! You, me and Jillian should do lunch next week while I'm here and catch up!"

"That would be great. Happy Hour would be even better," Alex suggested.

"Brilliant idea! I think I'm going to need a break from all of this testosterone at some point. No offense, honey," she said as she playfully elbowed Thor in the ribs. "We were here about a month ago to arrange all this, but it was a quick trip. I didn't see you at that party Tony threw at the Waldorf-Astoria. It was for the work that your division did, right?"

"Yes, it was. I was there," Alex replied, apprehensively. "The place was packed. I... uh...ended up needing to leave early so that's probably why you didn't see me."

Tony was openly staring at Alex now and then looked at Loki, who was just looking up at the numbers of the floors counting down. After what felt like an eternity, the elevator finally stopped on the 28th floor, much to Alex's relief.

"Guess this is my stop. It was so great seeing you, Jane. Just coordinate everything with Jillian and I'll be sure to be there. And...uh...nice meeting you, Thor and Loki. See you later," she said as she was exiting.

"I'll be in touch soon about lunch and happy hour," Jane called out.

As soon as the elevator doors closed behind her, Alex felt as if she could breathe again. She couldn't believe the prick had pretended like they'd never met. She _knew_ from his greeting that he absolutely recognized her. Did he really think she was so stupid that she wouldn't catch on, she wondered. She didn't know what exactly she had expected from him, but this certainly had not been the reunion she had was hoping for.

Fuming, she went back to her desk and started reading the report she had been reviewing before Jillian's call. She could barely concentrate on the words in front of her and reread the same paragraph six times before she slammed the document down on her desk.

Eli peered around his monitor and asked, "Are you okay?" Alex nodded. "Hey, did you get a chance to read Carl's email about the Susquehanna River..." Eli's mouth froze in mid-sentence as he looked past her.

"Alexandra," came an unmistakable voice behind her that made her jump in her seat and then sent shivers down her spine.

She spun her chair around to glare at him. "Pardon me, have we met before?" she asked snidely.

"You are angry with me," Loki noted.

"You really _are_ a genius, aren't you," she said turning her chair around so that her back faced him once more.

Eli stared at the both of them, wondering about their odd exchange. Because his work area faced hers, he was completely within earshot of their conversation. Loki glanced over and immediately recognized him from the party. It irritated the god to no end that the insufferable dolt worked in such close proximity to her. The lack of privacy for their conversation irked him even more so. In an unmistakably imperious tone, Loki demanded, "Could you give us a moment?"

Eli's first instinct was to flip Loki off, but he was intimidated as hell and so he grabbed his coffee cup and stalked away. Alex began typing on her computer. "And you're still here _because_?" she said sarcastically, still facing her monitor.

Loki walked over and leaned against her desk so he could better face her. She turned her head towards him, prepared to give him her best stink eye, but the stark beauty of his face simply caused her breath to hitch in her throat. She wondered if it was creepy that she could be perfectly content to just sit and stare at him for hours. His long hair was tied back and she began fantasizing about running her fingers through it like she had that night they met.

"Alexandra, I did not think it was prudent to act quite so familiar with you in front of your employer. I would have thought you would have appreciated my discretion. I assure you that my feigned lack of recognition was for no other reason."

She turned away, blinking. It was just too easy to get caught up in him when she was looking at his face, and she needed her wits about her. "Fine. So what do you want?"

"Isn't it obvious? I want you."

The insides of her belly did a flip. His voice was so captivating that she was having difficulty remembering that she was pissed or even why. _Shit_. It was bad enough that he was so damn over-the-top hot. Did he have to have _that_ voice to go along with it? She looked over at him again and immediately regretted it.

Must. Not. Forget. Forget what again? Then she remembered. "Oh really?" she snorted. "What?After _four_ days of being here, did you finally run out of women to bang in New York City?"

He knitted his brows, looking perplexed, and then his mouth widened into a broad smile. It was not at all the reaction she was expecting. "What are you so damn happy about?" she snapped.

He folded his arms across his chest in smug satisfaction. "Your anger pleases me because it proves that you are not indifferent. You were irate because I did not outwardly acknowledge having met you before, even though my intent was to shield you from any embarrassment. You are even more vexed by the fact that I have been here for the better part of a week and have not come to you until now. Clearly, you want me, too."

Her mouth gaped open for a moment at the truth of his assessment. "You are so unbelievably full of yourself."

He smirked at her. "I won't deny that there is some truth in that. But we both know that I'm right. So, how about we dispense with any more pretense and spend the evening together?"

God, but she was so tempted. But deep in the back of her mind, she hated that he thought of her as a sure thing. It didn't matter that the end game all along had been to get him back into her bed for at least one more night. She wanted him to work for it. "I'm busy," she snapped.

"Now come, Alexandra. You don't think that the proclaimed God of Lies can't tell a lie when he hears one?" he asked, his voice as smooth as silk.

Alex scowled at him and turned to grab the phone. She dialed Jillian's extension. As soon as she heard Jillian answer on the other end, she barked, "We're going out tonight. Dinner and drinks at Momofuku."

"Uh...Do I have a choice?"

"No! I'll meet you in the lobby after work." Alex hung up the phone a little too forcefully. Glaring at Loki, she remarked, "Like I said, I'm busy tonight."

He chuckled a low, rumbling laugh and Alex felt her insides flip again. Smiling, he got up from her desk and whispered in her ear, "You know you're just delaying the inevitable, don't you? And fair warning — delayed gratification is something I know a great deal about. I look forward to showing you how good I am at it."

She was practically panting with desire as he walked away.

Three hours later, Alex was huddled in a booth with Jillian and drinking sake and downing ramen.

"I can't believe you're sitting here with me when you could be getting your brains fucked out right now with the God of Multiple Orgasms," Jillian said, as she slurped up a mouthful of noodles.

"He hasn't given me one of those," Alex clarified. "Yet."

"I really don't understand you," Jillian said as she waved her chopsticks at Alex. "I mean, I'm no big fan of the guy, but I thought it was classy that he tried to keep your little tryst on the down low in front of everyone. And then he tells you that he _wants_ you, which is like your sex fantasy come true. So what the hell else do you want him to do before you let him get back in your pants?"

"I don't know, okay?" Alex frowned. "Denying him seemed like a good idea at the time. I didn't want him to think I was so easy."

Jillian gave her a look. "Alex, you screwed him within an hour of meeting him. I think it's a little late to be worrying about that."

"God, I know! But that's not me. You know that's not me," Alex pointed out, taking a sip of her sake.

Jillian poured more into her own cup. "Honey, who cares? You either want him or you don't. Stop overthinking it and stop analyzing everything to death. You had no conversations with him about ever seeing each other again. I would have thought you'd be overjoyed that he wants to see you."

"I know, right?" Alex shook her head. "I guess I was thinking that if I just gave in, that I would be establishing some sort of precedent. That he'd think that whenever he was here, I'd just drop everything to have sex with him whenever he wanted."

"Like an intergalactic booty call," Jillian remarked, shoveling in another mouthful of noodles.

"Exactly!"

Jillian set down her chopsticks and wiped her mouth with her napkin. "Alex, if you want to fuck him — and I know you're dying to — then fuck him. But do it on your terms. Set whatever ground rules you need and be honest about it. It's the only way you're going to feel good about this. And if he doesn't want to play by your rules then kick him to the curb. But do him at least one more time so you can tell me about it first."


	8. Chapter 8 - If and When

**Chapter 8 - If and When**

Agent Donovan looked at Loki through his rear view mirror. "You know, this is the fourth night in a row we have just sat here while you stared at her apartment. In this part of the universe, we call that stalking and there are laws against it."

Loki sighed. He was intently studying a set of windows he was sure belonged to her. The lights were on and he saw some shadowed movement behind the shades. He really had no idea what to do next. He didn't much relish the thought of spending one more night without feeling her naked against him now that they were finally in the same Realm together. The weeks since their first encounter had felt like years to him and he didn't want to waste another minute waiting any longer.

"I want to see her again," he stated.

Donovan's eyebrows drew up in surprise. In all the time he had been assigned as Loki's driver and watchman, he had _never_ known him to be with the same woman twice. "So why are you still in this car?"

"I think she is angry with me," Loki replied.

"Shit," Donovan snorted. "Better get used to it because that's what they do."

"What do you mean?" Loki asked.

"Look, I don't know how the women on Asgard are, but here, women are a complete mystery to men. One minute, they adore you and treat you like a king. Then the next, they want to rip your fucking balls off and shove them down your throat. And you'll never figure out on your own what you did wrong. If you're lucky, they'll tell you so you don't have to make the same stupid mistake again, but then they'll want to talk it to death and you have no choice but to listen or they get even more pissed off. Then you spend your time making it up to them and the cycle starts all over again."

They sat in a silence for a few moments, the only sound coming from the cars passing them by. "Well?" Agent Donovan prodded.

"Your speech was hardly motivational," Loki commented dryly.

Agent Donovan laughed and then turned around in his seat to look directly at Loki. "Dude, if you don't mind me asking. Are you just looking to bang this chick one more time or are you thinking you might want to see her again even after?"

Loki was silent for a moment as he pondered the answer to the question. "The fact that I want see her again at all is new for me. I have yet to figure out what that actually means," he responded candidly.

"Fair enough," Donovan replied. "But just a piece of unsolicited advice. She seemed...sweet. You need to be careful because the sweet ones sometimes break easily. I know you're the God of Lies and all, but don't make her any promises you don't intend to keep."

"I'll try to keep that in mind."

"If she's ticked at you, flowers are never a bad way to go. It's cliche, but it usually works. In fact, giving a woman flowers even when she's not ticked off racks you points in the positive column," Donovan offered.

"I'll keep that in mind as well," Loki replied.

"So here's the deal. She's in apartment 8C. That doorman is not going to let you get anywhere near her without calling her first. If she says, 'No,' then we're done. End of story. I'll take you wherever you want to go. Pick up whoever else you want to pick up. No mayhem, no foolishness — got that?"

"Understood," Loki said, as he got out of the car. There it was again. He'd felt it the first time he met her, that tiny flicker of self-doubt that he was so unaccustomed to feeling. What if she turned him away? Could another easily replace the longing he felt for her?

Minutes later, Atif, the doorman had Alex on the phone. "Will do." He looked at Loki and flicked his head toward the elevator. "You can go up, Mr. Odinson."

Alex's heart was racing. If she had had any inkling that he was going to show up at her apartment tonight, she would have thrown on something considerably more flattering after coming home from dinner than her old yoga pants and faded pink cami. Her hair had been haphazardly tossed up in a clip, make-up completely worn off. And there was no time to do anything about it since he would be at her door at any second.

When she heard the knock, she took a deep breath to calm her nerves and then opened the door. As soon as he saw her, Loki smiled. And she was rendered breathless once again. There was no smugness in it, no hint at gloating. It was a genuine, dazzling smile that showed he was happy to see her and it floored her.

"Come in," she said, moving out of the doorway to make room for him to enter. Closing the door behind him, she turned to face him.

His eyes swept over her, not missing any nuance of her appearance — the loose tendrils around her face, the way her pants hugged her every curve, the bared skin of her arms and chest, the natural plum shade of her lush lips. Given the nature of his previous sexual encounters and the type of establishments he generally frequented, he was used to women who only dressed to impress and took great care in perfecting their appearance. He was surprised by the intense and immediate arousal he felt upon seeing Alex in her more natural state and relaxed attire, and he struggled to rein in his desire to immediately vanish her clothes and put his mouth everywhere on her.

The sound of her voice broke through his erotic thoughts as she said, "Come, let's sit. We should talk."

"Talk?" he asked, remembering what Agent Donovan had said.

"Yes, talk. We need to sort some shit out," she said as she lead him to the couch. He sat and looked at her blankly, not knowing what to expect. He hoped that he would actually listen to what she had to say instead of just fixating on her open mouth and remembering the feral noises that she made when he moved inside her. He fundamentally understood that what she had to say was important to her, so he promised himself that he would make every effort to pay attention.

She sat down on the opposite end of the sofa from him, pulling her legs up beneath her and criss-crossing them. "What happened earlier today. I may have overreacted and I'm sorry for that," she said.

Loki looked at her skeptically and waited for the part where she would divulge everything he had done wrong. She continued, "I really appreciate that you tried to be discreet with my co-workers about our previous...uh...encounter. It was totally thoughtful of you, and I was being childish for not recognizing how it might have impacted my reputation at work had we seemed more familiar."

He wasn't sure of what to say, certain there had to be more coming. So he kept silent, trying to keep his gaze focused on her eyes and not the swell of her breasts or the tightened nipples that protruded through the thin fabric of her top.

Placing her elbow on the back edge of the sofa and supporting her head with her hand, she inhaled and said, "And yes, I was put out that you had been here for four days and hadn't made any attempt to see me. Ridiculous, I know, especially when it was pretty obvious that we both went into that...that night together with no expectations that we would ever see each other again. So, I want to apologize for being hyper-sensitive and unfair to you."

Loki's mouth fell open slightly and then closed. He was not used to hearing apologies, only making them. Thor had apologized a few times to him during family counseling, but over the course of several centuries, that had pretty much been the extent of it. He was dumbfounded that she felt the need to express any sorrow in her actions when he had not been the least bit offended by them. But she was being sincere and...sweet. And he didn't know what to do next.

"Thank you?" he offered up as a question. "So, may I kiss you now?"

Alex held up the palm of her hand. "Hold up, Casanova. I think we need to talk through some ground rules first."

"I see," Loki replied with a wry grin. "Let's hear these rules of yours."

"I get that it's dumb to pretend that I'm not physically attracted you, with your uncanny — and quite frankly unnerving — ability to sense these things even the moment my body starts responding to you. But that doesn't mean that I am here to just be your booty call when it suits you."

Loki looked at her quizzically. "I don't understand what that means."

"It means you don't get to decide to drop in, unannounced, at any hour of the day or night, to have sex just because _you_ feel like it," she explained.

Loki wrinkled his brow, perplexed. "I don't think I quite understand the issue, Alexandra. I want you, I go to you. You become aroused whenever I am near you so you obviously want the same thing from me. Then we pleasure each other until we both feel sated. Why is this not a mutually beneficial arrangement?" he asked.

His voice was smooth and melodious and she was falling under its spell, drawn in by the lilting sound and the accent that sounded almost British in origin. She knew that he was trying his best to sort through the logic stream and that, despite the arrogance of his summation, it was grounded in truth. She sighed.

"Yes, I am crazy attracted to you, without a doubt. But it is maddening that you think I am _so_ unable to resist your charms and would give it up anytime you wanted it," she explained. "Do you have any clue how ridiculous that makes me seem?"

"No. Actually, I don't," he replied. "How does _me_ being irresistible make _you_ ridiculous?"

He sounded so serious and Alex was unable to contain her laughter. "Are you for real? Please tell me you're kidding." He stared at her blankly. "Christ, Loki! I know you've got the goods to back it up, but you really are the most egotistical, conceited person I have ever met."

"Not true because I know you're acquainted with Tony Stark," he remarked tersely.

Alex chuckled. "Good one," she said, shaking her head. "Okay, let's get back on topic, shall we? I'm admitting that I want you. I'm also admitting that for my own self-worth, _this_ can't happen if my needs aren't going to be considered."

"I believe I was _extremely_ attentive to your needs that night we were together," he pointed out.

"Yes, that's true," she admitted, blushing. "But I'm talking about more than that. It's important for me to feel like you are interested in me as a person beyond just what sexual positions I like."

She folded her hands in her lap and looked at him. He appeared deep in thought as he was processing what she said. "Please don't misunderstand me," she said. "I am not deluding myself into believing that this is anything more than it actually is. But I need to be part of the decision-making process concerning the _if_ and _when _we get down to it." She paused as he knit his brows together again, trying to understand why it mattered so much to her.

Realizing that that he would have no basis for context, Alex decided to just net it out for him. "Look, I know things are different for you and I get that. But I'm not wired the same way and you knew that when we first got together. I am not here to be your plaything or just an orifice for when you need one." She noticed that he visibly winced at her last sentence and she paused momentarily.

Taking in a deep breath, she said, "Making yourself always available to someone at the sacrifice of your own needs — well, I've been down this road before and it's dark and demoralizing. It eats away at your soul and I just can't do it again. If I let you call all the shots then I'll just end up feeling used." She looked down at her hands and quietly said, "And nothing — not even the greatest sex in the world — will be able take the sting out of that."

He stared at her face intently as she shifted her gaze upward again to look at him. Her eyes held something raw and vulnerable in their depths that connected with him somehow. In that moment, as she laid herself emotionally bare for him, he considered her to be the most astonishingly beautiful creature he had ever encountered. In all his centuries, no one — not even Frigga — had ever been so open and wholly without pretense in his presence before. Perhaps his former self would have taken this rare gift and twisted it for his own gain, but he had come too far on his journey of self discovery to want taint something so pure and freely given. His instinct now was retreat lest he ruin the moment, or ruin her. But he was so captivated by her and compelled by his need to possess her that he stayed planted on the sofa and searched his mind for something to say.

He cleared his throat and responded, "I will agree to your terms. Tell me what I need to do because I truly do not know what it is you require."

Alex was bewildered. She had said what she needed to for her dignity's sake but she never thought he would agree to such an arrangement. In fact, she fully expected he would balk at the suggestion and decide to part ways.

Loki moved closer to her on the sofa so that they were now side by side, touching, and her breath quickened in response. She felt tingling sparks every place his body was in contact with hers and she wondered if this reaction was hers alone or if he could feel it too. He held his hand against her face and brushed her bottom lip with his thumb.

"This is all pretty new for me. Maybe we could start by sharing a meal," she suggested, voice slightly trembling. "I mean, you have to eat, right? Or, you know, maybe we hang out first, have real conversation...uh...before..."

"Getting 'down to it?'" he offered, grinning wickedly.

God, but he turned her on, she thought. "Yes...uh...that would be the general plan," she replied.

He leaned over and nuzzled her neck, whispering, "Haven't we already had our requisite conversation for the evening?" Her laugh tinkled in his ears and he realized he liked the sound almost as much as the liked the sounds she made when she found her release.

She felt goose bumps break out all over her skin as he continued to gently kiss her neck. "I've got an early meeting in the morning, so one of your sex marathons is not going to fly tonight. But tomorrow. Tomorrow is Friday. Are you doing anything tomorrow night?" she asked in between shallow breaths.

"I have no current plans," he replied, licking the shell of her ear.

"So why don't you hang out with me after work and I'll make you dinner?" she suggested amid a slight involuntary moan of pleasure.

He suddenly stopped what what he was doing. "Will you make me that sandwich again?" he asked hopefully.

She laughed deeply. "No. I'll make you something even better."

"Will it have bacon in it?" he asked. Again she laughed, and he felt sure he could live off of that sound. What the hell was happening to him, he wondered. Why was he so enchanted with just a smile and a laugh? His gaze narrowed and he began to question whether or not Alexandra possessed the power to bewitch. But he could sense no magic in her and he relaxed once more.

"I'll see what I can do," she said, chuckling to herself. Well, that proved it, she thought. Even gods thought everything was better with bacon.

He resumed his debauchery on her neck and she whimpered with delight. His lips moved across her jaw line to find her mouth and she welcomed the sweet invasion of his tongue. He paused to say, "I seem to recall that I promised you a lesson in delayed gratification. Shall we begin?"

His voice was so sensually wicked and she shivered at the sound of it. "Tomorrow. Tomorrow. Early morning meeting, remember?" she murmured.

"But of course," he responded, his mouth claiming hers once again.


	9. Chapter 9 - Too Soon to Tell

**Chapter 9 - Too Soon to Tell**

She was fifteen minutes late to the department meeting and barely heard most of what was being discussed. She should have known better than to let him kiss her, as if she would have had the resolve to stop it from going any further. She had pleaded with him after the first five minutes to save their activities for the next night. And then she had pleaded with him put his highly skilled mouth and tongue everywhere on her. And _then_ she had pleaded for him to fuck her and never stop. So, in his defense, he was only doing as he was asked.

And when she woke up this morning, even though he was gone, she was giddy over the impressive arrangement of purple-throated calla lilies that he had conjured up and left on her night stand. She wasn't sure if he had chosen those specific flowers because he had remembered that she was admiring them in the lobby of the Waldorf-Astoria, but she was pleased at the gesture nonetheless.

Meanwhile, in an elegantly decorated office in the Flatiron District, Loki crossed his legs and leaned back into the brown leather upholstered chair he was seated on. His elbows were on the armrests and he laced his long fingers. "I've met someone who...intrigues me," he declared.

Dr. Elizabeth Chase stopped writing on her notepad, placed her pen down on her mahogany desk and removed her reading glasses, giving him her full attention. She was as elegant as her surroundings, impeccably dressed in an ivory silk blouse and grey pantsuit, her dark auburn hair pulled into a classic chignon at the nape of her neck, pearl studs in her ear lobes. "How so?" she asked.

"I met her the last time I was here in Midgard. And I haven't been able to stop thinking about her since," he said.

"Did you sleep with her?" Dr. Chase asked.

"Of course, I did," Loki snorted. "On more than one occasion."

Dr. Chase raised her eyebrow. "And you're still interested?"

"Yes. Very much so. That's the problem," he admitted.

"And why is that a problem?" she prompted.

"Because, as you well know, that is not how I operate. I have never before even remotely been interested in having sex with the same woman twice. And it's...it's unsettling. I thought that after one more night I would grow tired of her. But instead I leave wanting more," he said.

"Is it unsettling because you've fallen out of familiar old habits and don't know how to respond to this change in your behavior or is it unsettling that you've made something more than just a superficial connection to another being?" she asked.

Loki rubbed his temples for a moment to think through the question and then looked over at her. Dr. Chase was a very attractive woman in her early fifties. Though her voice and mannerisms were gentle, she was always direct and very observant. She noticed everything about her patients and even though he had been dubbed the God of Lies, Loki had great difficulty hiding anything from her. There were so many traits about Dr. Chase, even in her hand and facial gestures, that reminded him of Frigga. Over time, these similarities had helped Loki to open up and trust in her and her motives. She was the only person in all Nine Realms that he, thus far, had felt comfortable confiding in.

"It's both," he replied.

"So why do you think everything is so different with this particular woman?" Dr. Chase probed.

"I don't know. I was hoping you would tell me?" he grinned.

She smiled and shook her head as if speaking to a precocious child. "You know that's not how this works."

Loki was silent for a moment. "She made me a sandwich," he said.

"A sandwich?" she asked, matter-of-factly.

"Yes. It had bacon in it," he replied.

"Bacon?"

"Yes."

"I see." There was a long pause. "Loki, has anyone ever made you a meal who wasn't in your servitude or getting paid to do so?"

"No," he replied. "Well, no one except Jane. And that is hardly worth consideration since she has absolutely horrendous culinary skills." He wrinkled his nose in disgust. "And she really does it for Thor and only shares with me when she is worried I might be dining alone."

Dr. Chase's lips turned up in a slight smile. "So it would stand to reason that you would be affected by such a gesture from this woman," she noted.

"Yes, I suppose," he replied. "The sandwich was quite good."

Dr. Chase smiled again. "Being open to receive kindness means being open to give it in return," she commented as she put her reading glasses back on and picked up her pen.

"That's rather cryptic," he remarked dryly. "I did give her some flowers."

"Oh?"

"I needed points in the positive column," he replied sheepishly.

Dr. Chase studied him for a moment and then wrote something down on her notepad. "So, do you intend to continue having sex with other women while you are seeing..."

"Alexandra," he offered.

"While you are seeing Alexandra?"

"I don't know. I haven't been with anyone else since I met her. That was almost four weeks ago," he replied.

"That's certainly a significant amount of time for you, given your history with women," Dr. Chase commented, continuing to scribble notes on her pad of paper.

"Indeed," he remarked.

Looking up and over her glasses which had slipped down the bridge of her nose, Dr. Chase queried, "So is this just about sex for you or are you interested in pursuing a deeper relationship?"

"Primarily sex," he responded, a little too quickly.

Dr. Chase raised her eyebrow again. "Is that so?"

Loki looked deep into Dr. Chase's eyes. The woman missed nothing, he thought. He quietly responded, "It's the only thing I know how to do that is sure to to please her."

"Loki, there is nothing wrong with a purely sexual relationship between two consenting adults," Dr. Chase remarked. "But you need to be open to what this is and what it could be. Don't sell yourself short before you've even made an attempt."

"It's really too soon to tell anyway," he replied dismissively. He leaned over her desk to pick up a glass paperweight and proceeded to toss it back and forth from hand to hand.

"I will take that as my cue to switch topics," Dr. Chase said, knowingly. "So, since we last met, have you had an opportunity give more thought to what we talked about?"

"You mean what I might like to say to my fath...Odin, once he awakens?" Loki asked.

"Yes," she replied.

"I don't see the purpose. He's not really open to hearing other points of view," Loki commented.

"One might have been able to say that about you as well a few years ago, but you've seemed to have made beautiful progress," she noted. "You and Thor have come a long way."

"True. But it was beyond emotionally taxing and so very laborious. And it was successful only because we _both_ desired the kinship of brotherhood again. I can't speak to what's in Odin's heart. And to tell the truth, I'm not sure what I want from him either," he replied, averting his gaze by putting the paperweight back on her desk.

"That is precisely why I want you to think through what you would say to him if you could," she said, putting her pen down again and folding her hands in front of her. "Let's explore what's top of mind for you and work through how you might refine your approach, if needed, so you are at least prepared to deal with it when the time comes."

Loki pinched the bridge of his nose and closed his eyes. "Dr. Chase, I have so much anger and resentment towards him. I don't think my tongue could keep from being sharp," he admitted. "Which certainly would not go over well with the All-Father King of Asgard, given that his preference would be to banish or imprison me for the next few centuries."

"I know. And what you're feeling is justified. That's why I would prefer that we talk through it now so you don't impulsively act out on that anger and frustration when you address it with him for the first time," she remarked.

"What if he never awakens? Then we will have wasted all this time," Loki pointed out.

"This would not be wasted effort, Loki," she said in her gentlest tone. "Did you not feel it was worthwhile when we worked on expressing your feelings towards your mother and her role in all of this, even though she was not here to hear it? Did you not find the exercise helpful in gaining some closure?"

"What gained closure for me was slaying the beast that took her away from me!" he said sharply, slamming his fist down on her desk.

"No, Loki, that helped you feel like you avenged her death. It did nothing to address how you felt about her after you learned that she was not your birth mother and hid the truth from you. That was the hard work you did here in your sessions."

Loki nodded, begrudgingly.

"Regardless of whether you end up having this conversation with Odin or not, I promise that coming to terms with how you feel about him and what transpired between the two of you will help you to move forward and finally let go of the past," Dr. Chase said, reassuringly.

She continued. "Again, I want to point out how far you and your brother have come. When we first began working together, you two could hardly be in the same room for five minutes before you started arguing. You had very, very different perceptions of the same events, and it colored everything about how you felt for and how you responded to each other."

"Yes, I remember."

"Do you remember how we began opening the lines of communication between the two of you?" she asked.

"Yes. You only allowed us to use 'I feel' statements," he replied.

"And why was that?" she prompted.

Loki sighed. "Because no one else can dispute the validity of your own feelings."

"Exactly. So why don't we start with that?" she offered.

Loki sighed again and stated, "I feel...I feel foolish when you make me discuss my feelings."

"Loki!" she admonished. He flashed her his most charming smile and she instantly softened. "Now what would you like to say to him if you had no need for a filter?"

He began, "That he's the most arrogant, manipulative..."

"What happened to the 'I feel' statements?" she reminded him.

"Sorry," he replied. "I _feel_ like he's the most arrogant, manipulative, and overbearing ass in all the Nine Realms. I _feel_ like we would all be better off if he never awoke from the Odinsleep." With each statement, Loki's voice grew stronger as he leaned closer and closer to her desk. "I _feel_ like he needs to be reminded of his complete impotence over the defeat of the Dark Elves, and that the victory and vengeance gained were solely at the hands of his and Laufey's sons." His hands were now tightly gripping the armrests of his chair. "I _feel_ like every act of rage and every moment of soul-crushing isolation I have ever experienced has been because of his deceit. And I _feel _like I want to inflict the same kind of emotional agony upon him so that he could share in my pain. How am I doing so far?" Loki snarled, waiting for a look of reproach from Dr. Chase.

She simply cocked her head to the side and gave him a rueful half-smile. It was exactly a look Frigga would have given him, he thought. "Well, it's definitely a start," she replied. "We can work with this." She picked up her pen again and wrote something on her notepad. "You, Loki, are what I call job security."

He laughed a deep laugh and she chuckled in spite of herself. "So, Dr. Chase," he said. "In your infinite wisdom and experience, do you think you can save me?"

"No, my dear," she said, looking at him very seriously. "But I do think you can save yourself, once you truly believe you are worth saving."


	10. Chapter 10 - The Kingdom I Rule

**Chapter 10 - The Kingdom I Rule**

Alex was in her kitchen getting all of the ingredients together for the meal she was preparing. Jillian was leaving for Baltimore this evening to celebrate her grandmother's 75th birthday with the rest of her family and had called to give Alex a pep talk before she took off on the three-hour drive.

"So what are you going to wear?" she asked.

"I don't know. Maybe what I wore to work? I haven't given it much thought, you know, since it's kind of a sure thing," Alex replied. She had just finished slicing the silver skin off of the pork tenderloin and was now seasoning the meat.

"The guy wears Armani suits, for God's sake. At least put on a dress. You'll look ridiculous in your casual dress-down Friday jeans and top while he's rocking a suit," Jillian remarked.

"Well, my yoga pants and ratty cami certainly didn't seem to deter him last night," Alex responded. She had begun wrapping prosciutto slices around the tenderloin, overlapping them slightly.

"Come on, Alex. At least make an effort."

"Okay. Okay. What about the turquoise sundress?"

"That's perfect. Wear the gold Michael Kors wedge espadrilles with it. And those gold chandelier earrings you have," Jillian suggested. "So what are you making?"

"Prosciutto Wrapped Pork Tenderloin with a Port Fig Sauce. Pan Roasted Brussel Sprouts with Bacon. And Roasted Herbed Fingerling Potatoes," Alex responded with pride.

"Nice!"

"I did cheat on the Port Fig Sauce. Bought a bottle from Dean and Deluca," Alex admitted.

"I doubt he would notice or care," Jillian assured her. "Listen, I need to take off. I promised my Mom I'd get to the house before eleven. I'll be back Sunday afternoon and will check in to see how things went tonight. I'm really, really glad you talked to him. I hope you have a fantastic time."

"You too. Tell everyone I said, 'hi,' especially Grammy."

"Will do."

"Hey!" Alex called out before Jillian could hang up. "Don't tell anyone about Loki, okay?" Alex asked, trying to sound casual, but the pleading tone in her voice was unmistakable.

Jillian paused. "It's not my story to tell. I won't say a word."

"Thanks. I'll talk to you Sunday."

Alex hung up and scrolled through the playlists on her iPhone. She had a specific one she loved to listen to when she was cooking or cleaning, and so she selected it to shuffle through her Bluetooth speakers. As Grace Potter and the Nocturnals' "Hot Summer Night" came on, she began cooking the bacon in a cast iron skillet. She quickly chopped a small onion and then began halving her washed Brussel sprouts, singing out loud with the music. Once the bacon was done and drained on paper towels, she chopped the slices into small pieces to add to the sprouts later. The potatoes had been washed, with the herbs, salt, pepper and olive oil applied liberally, and were now spread on a baking sheet that had been preheated in the oven.

She poured her cheater sauce in a heavy saucepan to bring up to a light simmer, and placed her grill pan on the burner to get scorching hot. She looked at the clock and determined that she had just enough time to change and make herself presentable before she needed to start searing the meat.

The turquoise dress she had selected was perfect for such an occasion. It was not too dressy for a casual dinner in, but was extremely flattering with the halter neckline and bared back and a vivid color which complemented her skin tone. She put on the gold shoes that Jillian had suggested and decided to forego jewelry altogether, leaving her exposed skin bare. She sprayed some Moroccan Oil on her loose curls to add some shine, but otherwise just pinned her long bangs away from her face. Satisfied that her make-up was natural looking, she glanced at the clock and saw that it was 7:15 PM. She had nothing to base it on but figured that Loki would be the punctual sort. Donning on a purple and yellow pleated apron which had been a sentimental keepsake from her mother, she poured herself a glass of Pinot Noir and checked her grill pan.

At precisely 7:30 PM, Atif buzzed in, announcing her guest. Alex threw her apron on the counter, smoothed a few light creases in her dress, took a sip of wine to bolster her confidence, and then promptly answered the door at the first knock. The God of Mischief stood in the doorway, in a black, single-breasted, slim-fit suit with a light grey button-down shirt, his perfectly manicured hand gripping a bottle of wine. She gaped at him for a moment, so caught up in how perfectly pulled together he was. Whose stupid idea was it to have dinner first before getting naked, she thought, cursing herself.

"Good evening, Alexandra," he greeted her warmly. He felt her instantaneous attraction to him, the sparks she sent out which electrified the air between him, and it delighted him that his appearance could make her feel this way.

She gestured for him to enter, taking the bottle of wine from his hand when he offered it to her. She glanced at the label and saw that it was a French Bordeaux. "Thank you," she said as she gathered her senses and vowed not to allow his hypnotic good looks get in the way of her food preparation. After all, she had promised him something better than that bacon, egg and cheese sandwich and she couldn't afford to botch the carefully crafted meal now.

"Whatever it is you are preparing smells divine," he commented in a low purr, making her insides flutter.

She beamed. "Why don't you just make yourself comfortable while I finish up. Shouldn't be more than just a few minutes. I've got a bottle of Pinot Noir open — would you like me to pour you a glass?"

"Yes, please," he replied. As she returned to the kitchen, he casually walked over to the bookshelves that were lining the majority of the walls in her living space and began perusing the various titles. Although there were a fair number of novels dotting the shelves, he was most interested in the range of non-fiction books that encompassed a significant portion of the shelf space. Littered among the titles were everything from self-help books, to biographies, to tomes on mythology, religion, and art history.

"You have an astounding number of cookbooks," he commented, as she walked over and handed him his glass of wine.

"Yes. I suppose I do," she remarked, smiling. "I got on a kick for a while trying to learn how to cook different ethnic cuisines." She moved back into the kitchen and took the potatoes from the oven, tilting the pan so that they fell onto a serving dish she had positioned below.

Loki walked over to the table behind the sofa where Alex had a large number of framed photographs on display. There was an old photo in a silver frame of what could only be Alex as a young child, her head adorned with a ring of flowers atop a disheveled mop of unruly curls. She was standing between a man and a woman, who Loki surmised must be her parents. They were standing in a field, gazing down adoringly at their child and holding onto her hands as sunlight streamed behind them.

There were at least five other pictures of Alex and her mother taken throughout the years as well as several photos of Alex with the same group of people, all similar in age, taken in various locations. Loki recognized the blonde woman who appeared in all of these group images as someone he had seen or met before at Stark Industries.

As he peered at all of the photos, studying Alex as she appeared in each, his eyes caught one that gave him pause. It was the group of friends again, posing together on the deck of a large sailboat. This time there was a sandy blonde man that had not been in the other photographs. As Loki studied the image, he felt an unfamiliar knot form in his stomach as he noticed that the man had his arm around Alex and that her head was nestled on his shoulder. She looked radiantly happy and relaxed. It was the look of someone in love and he recognized it only because he had seen the same look on Jane's face every time his brother was near. The man did not wear the same expression and Loki despised him instantly because he had clearly forsaken the treasure that was right beside him. Who was this lowly mortal to Alexandra — and more importantly — where was he now, Loki wondered, feeling pangs of inexplicable jealousy.

Breaking through his dark thoughts, Alex called out, "Dinner's ready!" Loki walked toward the dining table and feasted his senses on the delectable smells and delightful presentation of the meal. "This looks fantastic," he said with the utmost sincerity.

"Why, thank you," Alex said as she took her seat. He sat across from her and reached to pour her more wine. "May I serve you?" Alex asked, a serving fork poised over the pork tenderloin slices she had already carved and fanned out onto the serving plate.

"Always," he teased.

God, but he could make her insides flip at the merest turn of a phrase, she noted. It was entirely unfair, this power he had over her. She had had the upper hand in only one relationship years ago, back in college, and had gotten bored with the guy after three months. She knew at this rate, Loki would be tired of her within days if she couldn't maintain some air of mystery for him. But she really was an open book. Perhaps she could keep him interested with her impressive culinary skills, she wondered. With that thought, she started placing generous helpings of the various dishes onto his plate.

He ate everything with enthusiasm and complimented her several times between bites. "I like this proscuitto almost as much as I like bacon," he commented, placing another forkful in his mouth.

"I thought you might," she remarked, amused at his exuberance. "Is the food on Asgard much different than what we have here?" she asked, spearing into a Brussel sprout and popping it into her mouth.

"Let's just say that most Asgardians do not have very refined palates," he said as he wiped his mouth with the bright blue cloth napkin that complemented the blue and white chevron placemats. "The basic ingredients and food groups are very similar to what you have on Midgard but they are not prepared in the same ways. Most Asgardian males would not eat a vegetable if their very lives depended on it," he said, as she chuckled in response. Her laugh always seem to enchant him and he stopped to look at her face in the candlelight. "There are no complex sauces such as what you've prepared this evening," he continued, taking another bite of the pork tenderloin. "If there is gravy to accompany the meat and potatoes, then it is considered a special occasion."

"True confession. I did not make the sauce," she admitted. Loki gave a mock gasp. Grinning, Alex was quick to clarify, "For the record, I _could_ have made that sauce but I didn't have enough time."

Loki gave her a bewildered smile and shook his head. "Alexandra, are you always so free from deception?"

"Pretty much. Haven't you ever heard the phrase 'Honesty is the best policy?'" she asked.

"I am familiar with that useless phrase. Rubbish, really," he replied.

She raised her eyebrows at him. "Hmmm. So, God of Lies, it doesn't appear to me that lying has brought you much success or happiness," she pointed out.

He took a sip of wine, avoiding her gaze. "I was somewhat joking," he replied. "But yes, you are correct that my mastery over the art of deception has not exactly improved my circumstances in any way. Although, I dare say that fooling others into believing you're something that you're not _can_ provide hours of entertainment."

"Interesting perspective," Alex noted tersely. "I've had some experience with trying to be someone I'm not, all for the sake of pleasing someone else. And I never found it to be all that entertaining." She paused to take a bite of potato. "In fact, I found it to be quite tedious to maintain and absolutely meaningless in the end." He was intrigued by her comment and stopped eating to give her his full attention.

She could see he was fully engaged by the intensity of his gaze. She continued, "You see, I discovered that hiding who I truly was to become someone else didn't guarantee me anything. It sure as hell didn't make the person I was trying to please love me more. Here I spent all that time burying the real me and it didn't end up making a bit of difference. And then after a while, I sort of lost myself and it got really hard to dig my way back out."

He stared at her wide-eyed. He had never articulated as much in all his years, had not ever really thought about it in depth, but upon hearing her words, he understood, _really_ understood what she meant. The things he had done, the lies that he had woven, all to be adored, admired, respected by the All-Father and others had never actually achieved anything. Loki cleared his throat. "You make a valid point," he said, as he picked his fork back up and resumed eating.

Alex noted that the mood had gotten heavy and wanted to lighten it by changing the subject. "Do you think less of me now that you know that I didn't make the sauce?" she asked with humor in her tone.

Without missing a beat, Loki responded, "Yes. You will now have to work harder in the future to regain my approval."

Well, at least there's a future, Alex thought.

"All joking aside, this was a wonderful meal and I thank you for it," he said, as he set his fork down indicating that he was finished.

"It was my pleasure," she replied sincerely. "I didn't plan much by the way of dessert. I've got some incredible Sea Salt Caramel ice cream or some chocolate truffles we can nibble on, but that's pretty much it."

"Thank you, but I just want to savor the wine for a bit if you don't mind," he replied.

"Of course. We can move over to the sofa after we clear the table."

"We?" he frowned.

"Yes, _we_. As in you _and_ me," she responded. "Surely, you don't think I am here to wait on you?"

"Ugh. I detest that most people here on Midgard do not have servants for these menial tasks. I am royalty, a god for that matter. I shouldn't have to clean up dirty dishes and utensils," he pouted.

"Wah, wah, wah. Stop being such a whiner baby. The sooner you get off your royal ass and help me, the sooner we'll be done," she admonished, getting up from her seat to begin picking up the plates. She was about to reach for one when it, and every other empty plate and dirty utensil, disappeared from the table.

"Shit!" Alex exclaimed in shock. "What did you do with my dirty dishes?"

"They're arranged neatly in your dishwasher. I would have done something with the leftover food, but wasn't sure of your preferences there," he replied matter-of-factly, folding his arms across his chest.

"Are you kidding me? This I've got to see." Alex opened the dishwasher to find everything was accounted for and placed in the appropriate tines of the racks. "How would you even know where everything goes inside a dishwasher?" she asked with an incredulous tone.

"Because like you, Jane seems to think that my brother and I should contribute to a meal by helping to clean up after ourselves. So I've had some practice with loading these contraptions," he replied with disdain. "She prefers that we do it manually, but I always resort to magic when she isn't looking. I can take care of the rest of this if you tell me what you would like done."

Alex began pulling some food storage containers out of a drawer. "Okay, I want the leftovers put in these separate containers and then placed in the refrigerator. Then the rest of the serving plates can go in the dishwasher." In less than a second, everything disappeared, including the empty storage containers. Alex opened the fridge to find them neatly stacked on one of the shelves. "Christ, but you're handy," she commented. "Imagine how much money you could make as a cleaning service with your mad skills."

He responded with a snort as she walked back towards the table. "Did you really just call me a 'whiner baby?'" he asked.

"I sure did," she replied, smirking.

"No one has ever done that and lived to talk about it," he said in a menacingly sweet tone.

She smiled at him and provoked, "And just what are you going to do about it?"

He grabbed her and pulled her onto his lap. "Well, for starters, I plan on giving you a severe tongue lashing. Just where my tongue will be, I'm not sure of yet."

"Promises, promises," she challenged, her insides doing that flip they did every time he made a suggestive comment.

He put his palm against her cheek for a moment and then reached his hand through her hair around the back of her head to pull her face towards his. He felt her sharp intake of breath as he slanted his lips over hers. Their tongues danced briefly and then he pulled his mouth away to begin kissing her neck just under her ear. Alex murmured her approval as she ran the fingers of both her hands through his hair. Uncharacteristically taking control of the situation, she yanked his head up from her neck and sought his mouth with hers, plunging her tongue deep within its depths. Loki buried one hand in her mane of lustrous curls to hold her head in place and reached with the other to palm her breast, his fingers pinching her hardened nipple through the fabric.

She was already on fire for him but knew the time had come for her to finally take the lead with him. Her hands came down from his hair and she reached for the fastening on his trousers, relishing the rasping sound of the zipper as it released its straining contents. She broke away from the kiss and shimmied down his lap to kneel between his legs, trying to free his penis from the confines of his pants and boxers. If it could be said that a penis was beautiful, then his most certainly was. She marveled at its considerable size, the engorged head that was a delicious shade of purple, the ridges of his veins which stood out so prominently from the porcelain smoothness of his skin.

Taking his shaft with both hands, she proceeded to drag her tongue from the base to the tip in one slow lick. Loki leaned his head back and gave a low sigh of contentment. Placing the head of his penis just within her mouth, Alex began licking around the tip as he groaned his approval. Bolstered by his reaction, she took as much of him in as she could and hollowed out her cheeks to provide just the right amount of suction. Pulling her mouth up back to the tip and then descending once more, she continued the rhythmic motion, inhaling his familiar scent of sandalwood and tasting him while he entangled his fingers in her hair.

This was the first time she had put her mouth on him and Loki was caught up in the barrage of sensations — the warm, soft, velvety wetness of her tongue swirling over his skin, the exquisite pressure of her hands expertly stroking the length of him, milking him. He was having great difficulty allowing himself to just feel rather than taking control of the pace and guiding the movement.

Alex's playlist had cycled through all of the songs and now the only sounds in the room were of her oral ministrations and his corresponding moans. It was so erotic, hearing his pleasure and knowing that she alone was responsible for it. As she quickened her rhythm, she could feel his muscles begin to tense.

"I need to be inside you. Immediately," he growled, as he pulled her head back.

She looked up at him with wide, bright eyes, her tongue still laving the tip of him. "Mmmm. I don't think I'm done yet," she said as she resumed her work.

"Alexandra!" he commanded, although she paid him no heed.

"Alexandra...Please," he implored. The last word was said more as a whisper and she stopped immediately, knowing that it was a rare thing to have him plead.

She wasn't aware of the moment he had vanished their clothes, only aware that they were now both naked and that she was at eye level with him. She was already so wet with her arousal and eager for him that the notion of any foreplay seemed like wasted effort at this point.

He pulled her astride him and raised her just over the tip of his jutting cock. Grabbing the cheeks of her bottom, he slowly lowered her onto him by infinitesimal degrees, until he was fully rooted in her. She groaned, reveling in the delicious bite of his deep penetration combined with the bliss of feeling so fully stretched. She arched her back and the forward motion of her hips made them both moan.

He pulled her back towards him and growled, "Do. Not. Move."

He loved keeping her rock still whenever he first entered her so that they could both feel the walls of her sex slowly begin to relax to accommodate him and then slowly start to tighten around him again. He wanted her to savor even the slightest sensations of their coupling and knew how difficult it was for her since she was always so impatient with wanting. She craved his relentless ramming into her and, as much as he loved it as well, he wanted to feel every subtle nuance of his possession of her body.

He felt her spasm around him and knew she was so, so close. He held her firmly to quell any movement and whispered in low, sexy tones that seemed to vibrate across her skin, "I am as hard as stone and so deep inside of you. Do you feel it? _This_ is the kingdom I rule."

And with that, she exploded around him, crying out and shuddering with such force that she feared her bones might fly apart. Still, he remained immobile inside of her, luxuriating in the sensations of her spasmodic clenching and releasing around his cock. It was too perfect, he thought, being inside of her. He felt that she had been born for this glorious purpose and that it could not have been intended for anyone but him. And he could think of nowhere else in all the Nine Realms that he would rather be.

As he waited patiently for the last tremor of her orgasm to fade away, he raised her to crown her entrance with the head of his cock and then speared into her again, repeating the motion over and over with controlled precision. Each downstroke filled the silent room with their harmonized grunts of pleasure, the volume rising to a crescendo as he quickened the pace and proceeded to grind her against him so that she could feel the pressure against her clit.

In all her life, she never knew anything could feel this good. He had promised her when they first met that her body would weep with joy at his touch, but he was wrong. It sang in response to his touch and made her feel so fully alive as if she had just spent the last twenty-six years of her life merely existing. Her arms were on his shoulders, hands clinging around the back of his neck. She threw her head back, lost to everything but the pleasure she felt radiating from her core.

"Look at me," he commanded hoarsely, and she immediately obeyed, becoming caught up in the intensity of his gaze. He brought his mouth to hers and kissed her deeply as he continued to move inside of her. "I am so very, very close and I want to take you with me. Do you understand?" he said against her lips.

"Yes," she replied, breathlessly.

He drove himself harder into her several more times before he cried out and began bucking his hips in release, setting off a chain reaction where she suddenly stiffened around him and abruptly climaxed, calling out over and over for a deity that he felt sure must be a reference to himself.

He pressed his forehead against hers and just breathed her in as they both slowly came down from their euphoric release. She brought her hands up from his neck and ran them through his hair, settling her fingers back near the top of his scalp.

"I really don't think I can stand," she murmured. "I feel boneless."

He chuckled with a low, rumbling laugh and raised himself from the chair, effortlessly lifting her while she was still joined with him. He carried her over to the bed and gently laid her down on it, breaking their connection so that he could lay next to her.

She was drenched in perspiration from their efforts but noticed that he appeared as pristine as when he had first arrived. Turning to face him, she asked, "Seriously, do you not sweat? Ever?"

"Of course, I do," he replied matter-of-factly, casually placing his hands behind his head. "When I exert myself. Usually that's during battle or battle training."

"Oh," she responded, her voice laced with disappointment. She rolled onto her back and stared up at the ceiling, lost in thought. After a pause, she said, "I wish that I could make you feel as incredible and as wrecked as you make me feel."

Stunned by her remark, Loki immediately turned to face her. "Alexandra, please don't infer anything by our different physiological responses. Asgardians don't expend our energy in the same way that you Midgardians do. It takes a tremendous amount of heat and a tremendous amount of physical exertion to cause us to perspire. Don't take that as any indication that you do not also bring me extraordinary pleasure nor affect me as profoundly." He rolled on his back again and said softly, "You are incomparable."

She laid there in silence for a few moments as she let his words sink in, smiling broadly when she finally comprehended it all. "Incomparable, huh?" she teased, trying to tickle his ribs. "You totally like me!"

"Stop ruining it," he commented dryly, which sent her into a fit of laughter. Loki did not appear amused, which only made Alex laugh harder. Exasperated, he rolled on top of her and pinned her hands above her head with his left hand, while the right began tickling her under the arms and along her sides. She was laughing so hard at this point that tears began streaming down her face as she thrashed her body underneath him trying to break free.

"Stop! Stop!" she cried out, laughing hysterically. "I'm going to pee myself any second and that would not be cool." He instantly let go of her hands and gasped in mock revulsion, but stayed on top of her long enough to give her a quick kiss on the lips.

He rolled onto his side so that he could face her, draping his arm leisurely around her hip. He felt so comfortable, truly content, laying beside her watching her wipe the tears of laughter from her beautiful face. He was so unaccustomed to this type of intimacy, and although he was enjoying it, he was at a complete loss for how to behave. The sex part was easy — it had always come so easy to him. But he was never one to enjoy a woman for much more than her body, given that he never spent any time with his partners beyond the initial seduction and eventual intercourse. But he found himself deeply intrigued with the idea of getting to know her, and it was both confusing and exciting all at once.

"I forgot to thank you for the flowers," she said, after regaining her composure. "They're beautiful."

'Would you like more?" he asked. "I could fill this entire room if you wish."

"No, no, that's all right. Thank you, though," she replied, looking at the arrangement that was still on her nightstand. "It was a very lovely and unexpected gesture."

Her comment enveloped him in its warmth and he decided that he would need to make a point of discovering other gestures that she would find just as lovely and unexpected. His hand moved from her hip to trace light patterns along her back.

"Mmmm. That feels nice," she said.

"If I wasn't here right now, Alexandra, what would you be doing?" he asked with genuine curiosity.

"Well, it depends," she responded. "If my friend, Jillian, was around, we might go bar hopping or hit a dance club with some friends. Maybe catch a movie. But since they're really more her friends than mine and she's out of town for the weekend, I'd probably hole up here and read or watch a movie on TV. How about you?"

Before he could respond, Alex quickly said, "On second thought, don't answer that. I know exactly what you'd be doing." There was an awkward moment of silence that passed between them. "Is it hard," she asked softly, "juggling all of us?"

Loki stopped caressing her back as he thought about how to respond in a way that would not alienate himself from her. "No, it's not difficult. Because I don't have a need to juggle anyone."

Alex looked puzzled. "I don't understand."

"I don't usually see any woman more than once, so there's no reason to work through anyone's schedule. It keeps things quite simple, really," he explained.

Her eyes were wide with surprise. "Then what on earth are you doing here with me again?" she asked.

Loki rolled onto his back to stare up at the ceiling. "I already told you, Alexandra,'" he replied softly. "You're incomparable."

Alex looked at him for a long while, but he did not meet her gaze. "Loki, I'll admit I'm pretty enough to have turned a few heads, but I'm definitely no supermodel. I'm damn smart, but not what you'd call a genius. And you already know that when it comes to sex, it's not like I have a vast amount of experience or expertise in the area. There is nothing that makes me stand out in a crowd, so what in the world would compel you to want to see me again if you're never with a woman more than once?"

Loki sighed. Those nights he had been staring up at her apartment earlier in the week, he had been asking himself the same question. He knew that Dr. Chase had wanted him to think through his reasons and he hadn't been quite ready to address them just yet. But he also knew couldn't put it off any longer now that Alex was also questioning his actions. And more importantly, he needed the answers for himself.

Still staring at the ceiling, he said, "Alexandra, it should come as no surprise that I find sex to be highly pleasurable. It's something that comes very naturally to me and I have no difficulty finding willing partners. But the primary reason I engage in it as frequently as I do is because I am exceedingly bored almost all of the time here."

He turned his head to look at her. "I am alone quite frequently, and there's only so much reading or TV watching or Sudoku playing I can do to pass the time. I want to be respectful of Thor and Jane's limited time together and give them their privacy. Sometimes I socialize with Stark, but we can only take each other in small doses before we start trying to destroy things."

He began rubbing his eyes with his hand as if he was nursing a headache. "And I can't really raise any mischief to entertain myself because chances are highly likely it would break some ridiculous societal law and result in my imprisonment. So I gravitate towards activities that seem innocuous enough, like sex."

He sat up and swiveled his legs over the side of the bed and, for a moment, Alex thought he was getting up to leave. Placing his elbows on his knees, he put his head in his hands and continued. "I know you think me conceited, but it is a point of fact that when I go to a social function or a drinking establishment, women are literally throwing themselves at me. They will do anything to capture my attention, even if it means ignoring the person they came with. I am other-worldly and a prize to be won in their eyes. They are desperate to know what it's like to have sex with a god — even if it is the demonic one who destroyed their city."

Loki's chest felt heavy as he struggled to find the right words to convey his thoughts. "Celebrity is celebrity and they will do _anything_ to be near it and to claim it for themselves. They are about as interested in _me_ as I am in them, meaning not one whit. So I suffer no contrition over never intending to see them again once I'm done."

Alex watched him from behind and saw his shoulders sag with the weight of his confession, unaccustomed to seeing his self-assured, regal posture looking so diffident. She wanted to reach out and touch him but worried that the gesture might make him withdraw into himself.

"When I went to that party a few weeks ago," he continued, "I had no intentions of sleeping with anyone there because I knew, based on the project we were embarking upon, that we were about to become semi-regular fixtures at Stark Industries. And I did not want to create an awkward situation where I would encounter someone I had no wish to see again." He paused and then turned toward her.

"But when I saw you — _standing out from the crowd_, I might add — I couldn't help myself, despite my better judgement. You were so alluring and looked so lost and desperate to be rescued." He turned his head to face the wall again. "If you recall, _I_ came to _you_. Already from the start, you had me deviating from my familiar routine."

He stopped for a moment to pinch the bridge of his nose, lost in thought. Reconciling his feelings had always been so very difficult for him, and he was already exhausted from the efforts of the therapy session earlier in the day. He decided that he far preferred the flaying of his skin at the hand of the Other over having to endure this form of torture. He turned to face her again, but avoided her gaze for fear that he would be met with contempt in her eyes.

He drew in a deep breath."When you struggled so with your decision to be with me, I have to confess that it completely upended me and drew me in. I'd never experienced that before and, as much as it unsettled me, it also greatly piqued my interest. I simply had to have you," he stated. "Everything about you, from how you behaved to the words you spoke, was so unpredictable in comparison to what I'd experienced time and time again. It fascinated me," he admitted.

He laid back down on the bed, facing her. Her eyes were soft and held only genuine interest and compassion. She was so beautiful, he thought, and completely oblivious to how much she affected him. He welcomed her ignorance in the matter, but felt it only fair to gift her the truth of why he was there.

"The sex with you was beyond my expectations," he reflected. "Not because of anything specific that you did. In fact, it was the contrary. I was becoming weary of all the ridiculous attempts by others to impress me in bed, everything so forced and theatrical," he scowled. "But with you, you went into that evening with no expectations and no preconceived notions of what you were going to do." He stopped to brush away a loose curl that had fallen over her eye.

"Perhaps your lack of experience allowed you to act on instinct only, I don't know. But our time together was all about pure sensation and primal responses, and it was _real_. After that, I just didn't know how I was going to be able to go back to the tedium of my previous routine and be satisfied with it," he concluded.

Alex could feel her insides fluttering about wildly. Every word he had said had an air of reluctance in its delivery, and she knew that it was not in his nature to be so forthright. It was less about what he said and more the fact that he had opened up to her at all that had her reeling. She reached for his hand and laced her fingers with his. After a long moment of silence she remarked, "I don't know how long it will be before my lack of sophistication ceases to be refreshing for you."

"Don't twist my words, Alexandra," he responded, sharply. "I never said that you were unsophisticated."

"In any case, I think you are going to get bored with me fairly soon," she replied.

Loki put his arm around her again and resumed tracing lazy circles along her back with his fingers. "I rather doubt it," he remarked. He took in a breath and then exhaled slowly, trying to relax the constriction in his chest. "I can't explain it. You just make me feel... so comfortable when I am around you. It's probably difficult for you to understand the significance of that, but I'm hardly ever comfortable, even in my own skin," he confessed.

Her eyes widened in surprise but there was no pity nor any revulsion that he could discern, and he felt his chest begin to loosen a bit.

"That is probably the greatest compliment I have ever received," she responded breathlessly after a long pause.

"Really?" he looked at her, bewildered by her statement. "Don't most women just want to be complimented on their appearance?"

"Oh, please. Where are you even getting your information from?" she scowled. "Beauty can be manufactured — do you know how many plastic surgeons there are in New York City alone? Besides, that's so superficial. Don't you ever get sick of hearing how gorgeous you are?" She paused and cast him a look.

"Do _not_ answer that. It's a rhetorical question," she declared. He grinned broadly and she gaped at him for a moment at the way his smile lit up his perfectly chiseled features. She would absolutely never, _never_, get tired of looking at him, but damned if she was going to tell him how good-looking he was. His ego did not need any further bolstering.

"The fact that I can set you at ease so you feel like you can just _be,_ especially when most others can't — now that's a rare compliment worth receiving," she said, joyfully. She sat up and repositioned herself on the bed so that she was leaning on her elbow and staring him straight in the face. "You know what you need, Loki?" she asked, excitedly.

"To be inside you again?" he responded seductively.

"Um...yes...in a little bit," she replied. "But I'm serious."

Loki quickly and gracefully flipped her over so that she was on her back and he was over her, his hips and lower body ensconced comfortably between her legs. "I was serious as well," he crooned in her ear.

Ignoring him, Alex continued, "You need a friend here of your very own."

"And why would I need that?" he asked, as he began kissing the side of her neck.

"Because you're bored and lonely and need things to do beyond just sex and Sudoku. _I_ can be your friend," she responded. "A friend with benefits," she quickly added as he began nibbling on her earlobe.

"Benefits?" he asked.

"Yes, benefits," she explained. "Friends don't typically have sex because it can ruin the friendship. But since we started with the sex first, it will be an added benefit of our friendship until it gets in the way or just doesn't appeal to us anymore."

Even though Loki continued to kiss her neck and ear as if he had not heard her, his mind was fully processing what she had just said. He really didn't have any friends of his own. The Warriors Three had been primarily Thor's friends, and Sif simply loathed him. Stark was more of a friendly acquaintance and, although Loki had begrudgingly come to adore Jane Foster, she would always be Thor's lover first and foremost and then Loki's friend second. The notion of Alexandra as a friend seemed appealing somehow, especially if it also came with sex as part of the bargain. This arrangement held promise, he thought.

"So what do you think?" Alex prompted.

He stopped what he was doing and raised his head so he could look down at her face. "I think that as much as I enjoy conversing with you, I far prefer the unintelligible sounds you make when I do this," he said as he moved himself and his mouth further down her body to claim the kingdom he ruled.


	11. Chapter 11 - The Morning After

**Chapter 11 - The Morning After**

Saturday morning, Alex awoke to find herself fitted against Loki's form, his arm draped around her and his hand gently and possessively placed around her breast. She had not woken up in someone's arms in a few years and yet it felt so familiar, as if this had not been the first time he had spent the night with her. He felt her stir and he pulled her tighter to him, nuzzling his face against the back of her neck.

"Good morning," she said.

"It is indeed," he murmured against her.

"Let me guess. You stayed the night so I could make you breakfast?" she teased.

"I hope you do not mind that I chose to stay," he replied, seriously.

"Not in the least," she said, as she got up to make her way to the bathroom. When she returned, she walked toward her closet.

Loki was lounging on the bed with his back propped against several pillows. "You should never be clothed in my presence," he declared.

Alex snickered and then began to search through the closet for her robe, which was normally hanging from a designated hook on the back of the closet door. After a few minutes of looking practically everywhere, she realized she had not misplaced it. "Loki, may I have my robe back, please?" she demanded.

"Why bother? It will be removed soon enough," he replied with a mischievous grin.

"Yes, but I'd like very much not to burn any of the body parts that you're particularly fond of as I cook you your breakfast," she replied. Her robe immediately appeared on its hook. Smiling, she put it on and walked over to kiss him. He was breathtaking in his nudity, the paleness of his skin providing a stark contrast to the black watch-like device he wore on his wrist.

Realization dawned on Alex and she gasped, "Has that SHIELD agent been out there waiting for you all night?"

"I imagine so," Loki replied. "It _is_ his job, you know, to keep track of my whereabouts."

"Oh, that poor guy! You need to ask him if he wants to join us for breakfast," Alex suggested.

"I will do nothing of the sort!" Loki exclaimed, looking at her as if she had lost her mind.

"Well, you need to at least ask him if he wants me to bring him something to eat while he waits for you."

"Alexandra..." Loki protested.

"I mean it, Loki. You either offer him the chance for breakfast or you can leave without yours," she replied firmly.

For a moment, Loki was too stunned to speak. He wasn't accustomed to anyone issuing ultimatums at him and he could tell that she was completely serious. He pressed a few buttons on the device and a voice immediately responded, "Donovan here."

Loki spoke into the receiver, "Alexandra is concerned that you might be wasting away from hunger. She wants to bring you breakfast."

There was a pause before the disembodied voice responded, "Uh...that would be greatly appreciated."

"Ask him if he needs to use the bathroom," she prodded.

"Do you need use of a lavatory, Agent Donovan?" Loki asked.

"I'm all set," Donovan replied.

"Tell him I'll be down in few with something for him to eat," she said.

Fifteen minutes later, Alex brought down a travel mug of hot coffee and _the_ highly lauded breakfast sandwich to Agent Donovan, who was still parked in front of her building.

"Thank you, Miss Bennett. You really did not have to do this. I could have easily gone through a drive-thru," Donovan said politely.

"Please call me Alex. And it wasn't a problem at all," she replied, her smile warm and engaging.

Donovan felt sure he had been correct in his assessment from earlier in the week that this woman _was_ sweet and so unlike the others Loki typically consorted with whenever he was looking for some company. "Everything going okay up there, Alex?" Donovan asked with genuine concern.

"Everything is going remarkably well, Agent Donovan," she replied, her tone convincing in its sincerity.

"I'm glad to hear it," he commented. "You know you're safe, right? If he even _thinks_ about trying to to hurt you, I'd be there in less than two shakes."

She smiled at him. Donovan looked completely badass, but she saw the kindness in his eyes. He reached over to open up his glove compartment, pulled out a business card and handed it to her. Alex read the name that appeared under the SHIELD insignia that was embossed on the card, Special Agent Bradley Donovan.

Putting the card in her pocket, she said, "I think you and I both know that if I'm going to be hurt by Loki, it won't be the kind you can put a stop to."

Donovan studied her for a moment. "I hope you don't mind me asking, Alex, but is this really something you want to get mixed up in?"

Alex gave a short laugh. "I know it sounds crazy, but I actually _like_ him. And I don't know how to explain it, but somehow I feel like I relate to him." Donovan raised an eyebrow quizzically at her. "Well, except for the part about trying to enslave all of humanity. That part I don't really have a common experience to draw from."

Donovan's mouth cracked a quick smile and then drew back into its standard serious straight line. "Alex, let's be clear. The kind of hurt you are talking about can go both ways, and I'm not sure the Earth is ready to handle what might happen if things don't work out the way he wants them to."

Her eyes widened in surprise. "I think you might be overestimating my place in his world, Agent Donovan. He's just only — and reluctantly, I might add — agreed to become friends. I don't think we need to worry about a threat to mankind over this."

The girl clearly had no clue about the hold she already had over the god, Donovan thought. He considered telling her that Loki had been pining away for her for the better part of the week but then thought better of it. In his experience, it never paid to meddle in other people's affairs, especially when it came to matters if the heart. His duty was to protect the broader citizenry of his country and he was unsure yet of what benefit or damage this newfound relationship might bring upon his charge.

"I'll let you get back to it then," he said.

When Alex returned to her apartment, Loki was in his robe, standing in front of her sofa table looking at all her framed pictures. He looked up at her when she entered and gave her a smile that made her weak in the knees. She had quickly donned on a t-shirt and shorts when she ran out to give the food to Agent Donovan and now felt overdressed. She debated taking everything off and putting her robe back on, but then decided just to proceed with making their breakfast. She knew Loki was salivating over the sandwich she had just made but she was determined to broaden his horizons.

Cutting up the leftover prosciutto from the night before, she threw it in the still hot pan to crisp up. Working with methodical precision, she quickly scrambled together five eggs with just a splash of heavy cream and a few sizeable pieces of goat cheese that she had taken out of the fridge.

"You look just like her," he commented, holding one of the framed pictures that she knew was of her and her mother taken during a trip to the Spoleto Festival in Charleston, South Carolina nearly seven years ago.

"So I've been told," she said, smiling.

"Are you two close?" he asked, setting the frame back in its place.

"We were very close," Alex responded. "That is until she died."

Loki immediately stiffened. "I'm...I'm sorry. I did not know."

"Of course you didn't," Alex replied matter-of-factly. She sliced a few pieces of crusty French bread and wrapped them in tin foil to warm in the oven. Without missing a beat, she said, "She died a little over three years ago from a rare form of lung cancer. It was horrific and heartbreaking and tragic. And the primary reason I left Baltimore to come to New York."

Loki sat down on the sofa and quietly sipped his coffee, unsure of what to say next. Her face was impassive as she began chopping some fresh herbs to add to the egg mixture. The silence in the room had grown awkward, but Alex didn't feel like divulging any details and risk becoming too emotional in front of him. Even after three years, the loss of her mother still cut deep.

"I have firsthand knowledge of what it feels like to lose a mother in a 'horrific and heartbreaking and tragic' way," Loki offered, softly.

Alex's breath caught in her throat. She had forgotten about Frigga and the horrible circumstances surrounding her death. It had been devastating for Alex to watch her mother deteriorate, but at least she knew that every moment shared between them after the diagnosis had been a precious gift. Loki had had no advanced knowledge as to what would happen and, therefore, no way to prepare for the monumental loss.

And in that instant, despite their different backgrounds and biology, their vastly different life experiences and choices, she felt a profound connection to him in their shared tragedy that was far stronger than what had been forged thus far through their mutual lust and loneliness. She looked at him directly in the eyes and said, "It sucks, doesn't it?"

"Indeed," he replied, returning her gaze and holding it. He, too, felt something in that moment, although he could only liken it to misery loving company. It felt _different_, being able to acknowledge his grief with someone other than Thor or Dr. Chase. The widening of this circle suddenly made him feel less alone in the world and even more drawn to her than before.

The somber mood dissipated as Alex poured the egg mixture into the pan with the prosciutto and began stirring it over the heat, trying to achieve the perfect consistency. Loki had no idea what she was specifically doing with the food, but he enjoyed watching her and seeing the look of concentration on her face as she happily engaged in the task.

Once she had everything arranged on the table, she called him over and almost burst out laughing when she saw the look of disappointment on his face as he sat down and did not see his beloved sandwich. She put her arms around him and kissed the top of his head, reassuring him that it would be alright. And as she suspected he might, he ended up greatly enjoying this version of scrambled eggs. This time there were no leftovers and before she could say a word, he vanished everything into the dishwasher. She removed the pan so that she could wash it by hand, explaining to him that high quality pots and pans needed to be hand washed. He humored her by listening, but he was certain that the information she was distilling would have no bearing on his life whatsoever.

"Do you want to go anywhere today?" she asked as she placed the wet pan in the drying rack. It was overcast outside and looked like a thunderstorm was imminent. She hoped that he wanted to stay put because she loved nothing more than curling up with a good book during a rainstorm.

"There is nowhere I would rather be than here with you," he replied with complete sincerity.

Try as hard as she might, she could not contain her sheer joy at his words and beamed brightly at him. "I could really get used to that silver tongue of yours," she said.

"Yes, you were very vocal in your admiration of it last evening," he noted, grinning wickedly. He watched her cheeks turn pink and and chuckled in a low rumble that she felt rather than heard.

After selecting a book on ancient Roman civilization from her shelf, Loki settled himself on the sofa and began leafing through the pages. She brought them both a fresh cup of coffee and sat down next to him, leaning against the arm of the couch and bringing her legs up and over his lap as if it was something they did every day. Instead of feeling the need to gain distance from the air of familiarity their positions implied, Loki unconsciously began to stroke her leg while he read.

"Do you mind if I put in some music?" she asked. He shook his head and she connected her phone to her Bluetooth speakers, selecting a mellow playlist and adjusting the volume so that it served more as background filler. The thunderstorm began rolling in and the heavy droplets of rain began pelting the windows in staccato bursts as the wind surged. The sound of it was so soothing to her and she took a sip of coffee, basking in how right everything was in that moment.

Loki glanced up from his book to observe her. She was lost in her own thoughts and looked as comfortable and relaxed as he felt. It surprised him that the mundane brought him so much contentment. There had always been so much drama and action in his life and he had come to believe that it was what he craved and needed to feel fulfilled. And yet, here in this apartment that had no walls, with nothing more than the sound of the rain and some soft music in the background, as he sat casually entwined with a woman who had no special powers nor royal lineage, he felt more whole than he had since he was a young boy when the innocence of childhood had enveloped him and filled him with the hope of all that could be.

Alex began reading from a novel that she had started a week earlier, alternating her attention from the story line to the careful study of Loki's perfectly arranged facial features. She contemplated the surreal situation she found herself in — that stretched out beside her on the sofa was an actual god who had only just moments before declared that there was nowhere else he would rather be than here with her. And though they had spent a grand total of less than 48 cumulative hours together, every expression and gesture shared between them felt so natural and unforced to her.

There didn't seem to be the need to fill the time with words, although every once in a while they would converse about different random things. Alex learned that, unlike his brother, Loki did not have much of a sweet tooth; he read several books from start to finish every single day with a speed that would put Evelyn Wood to shame; and that he was a huge fan of the Game of Thrones TV series but thought True Blood was ridiculous and nothing more than vampire themed porn. Loki, in return, discovered that Alex had a great affinity towards vampire themed porn; she detested most performance art, whatever that was, but loved all forms of performing arts; and that she had sang the lead role of Sandy in her high school musical which was some bizarre story involving lightning that was greasy and pink colored ladies.

On occasion throughout the day, their conversations would evolve into the more intimate physical interactions that they both constantly craved. He could tell that she was tender and sore from their previous activities during the past two nights and refused to give in to her demands for harder and faster, instead taking the opportunity to teach her the pleasures of slow and deliberate. He whispered, "Alexandra, this way can be good too." And it was. So. Very. Good.

It was early evening and the rain had stopped, although the sky remained overcast. She was laying in bed with her head on his chest, feeling so sated and replete from his attentions when she announced that she would not be cooking dinner and was instead ordering take-out. She kissed away his childish pout and ran through the list of nearby restaurants that delivered. They settled on Chinese and debated over whether to ask Agent Donovan if he wanted food as well. In the end, Alex won and Loki contacted Donovan, per her request. To his relief, the agent elected to go through a drive-thru, and Loki took the opportunity to remind Alex that if Donovan could be tasked with keeping watch over a powerful Asgardian prisoner, then he certainly could fend for himself when it came to securing food.

Thirty minutes after Alex had called Yen Ching's and placed their order, she dressed again in the shorts and t-shirt she had on earlier and ran down to the lobby to collect their food from the delivery person. When she returned to her apartment, she was surprised when she saw Loki was redressed in his suit from the previous night.

The look of disappointment was apparent on her face as she set the paper cartons of food out on the table. Reverting to form from a past that she had yet to let go of, insecurity began to gnaw away at her insides as she ran through a familiar litany of questions. Was he bored with her already? Had she done something to make him want to leave? Was he going to see someone else? Although he had done nothing to give her reason to assume any of those things, she was unable to do anything but immerse herself in self-doubt and speculation.

"I regret that I won't be able to stay the night, Alexandra. I have an early morning engagement tomorrow," he said. Loki noticed that her mood had changed dramatically and that she now refused to look him in the eye as she brought plates and utensils to the table.

"It's probably a good thing that you need to leave," she replied, trying to sound nonchalant. "I've got a million things I should be doing, and you can be quite the distraction." Without inviting him to join her as she usually did, she sat down at the table and began opening the containers.

Loki sat down across from her and studied her face. "Are you upset with me?" he finally asked when she made no further attempt to engage with him.

Without stopping to look at him, she replied, "What is there to be upset about? You need to leave and I have things to do."

Loki frowned for a moment before understanding dawned upon him. "Alexandra, I can't stay the night because I fear it would be impossible to leave in the morning after waking up next to you again."

She froze. _Damn_, but he knew how to say just the right thing, she thought. She looked into his eyes to try to gauge the truthfulness in his words.

"I... I assumed you were getting bored," she admitted.

"You were incorrect in your assumption," he stated, his tone hinting at his mounting irritation.

"I have a tendency to think the worst," she said, unable to look him in the eye. She took a pair of wooden chopsticks out of the bag and broke them apart.

"In light of all I have willingly shared with you about myself, perhaps I deserve being given the benefit of the doubt," he remarked.

"Agreed." She was embarrassed and didn't know what else to say. Thankfully, Loki felt no need to belabor the point. She handed him a set of chopsticks and got up to grab a bottle of wine from the refrigerator.

"You look a bit overdressed for Chinese take-out," she commented, trying to change the subject as she selected a bottle of Chardonnay. "Don't you have any casual clothes to zap yourself into?"

"Not really," he replied. "I prefer to dress this way. If I have the need to be more casual, then I simply take off the jacket." He saw that she was struggling a bit with the bottle opener and flicked his fingers to release the cork. Aside from genuinely wanting to help her, it amused him to watch her jump whenever she was startled by his magic.

"Right. Well, what do you wear if you're just lounging around at your place?" she asked as she handed him a glass of wine and sat back down at the table.

"Pajamas or my robe," he responded.

"Let me guess — silk pajamas," she offered as she scooped some steamed rice onto her plate and covered it with Kung Pao Chicken.

"And your point is what exactly?" he asked. He reached for an egg roll and a packet of hot mustard.

"You're just a bit… buttoned up, that's all. Even when you're lounging. Where do you shop for your clothes anyway?"

"I don't," he replied as he put several spoonfuls of Mongolian Beef onto his plate. "I have a stylist who does it all for me."

"A stylist?!" she exclaimed, her eyes growing wide. She had never before met anyone who actually had a personal stylist at their disposal.

"Yes. Stark arranged it because he said Thor and I couldn't walk around Midgard in our normal 'conspicuous' Asgardian attire. And of course, neither of us knew enough about your fashion norms to choose anything suitable on our own. So he brought us Serge."

"And this Serge never thought to hook you up with casual clothes?" she asked in between bites of food.

"He tried," Loki responded as he pulled a few pieces of Kung Pao chicken out of the container. Alex noticed that he was exceptionally adept with his chopsticks and wondered how that could be. "I don't particularly care for the denim and t-shirt ensembles that Stark and my brother tend to favor, so this is what I choose to wear when out in public."

"Well, we've got to find you a better compromise. You can't exactly go around wearing a stuffy suit if you're going somewhere like Coney Island or Yankee Stadium for example."

"I would never even _contemplate_ going to such places," he replied, his nose wrinkled in disdain.

"Seriously? Loki, you are a complete snob. How can you even judge something before experiencing it first?" she admonished as he rolled his eyes at her.

"Regardless, you need some clothes for less formal occasions." Her face suddenly brightened. "Maybe I can help!" Loki grimaced at the notion. "I don't mean make you go shopping with me. I'm thinking maybe I could show you some pictures from a magazine or something and you can decide what you think is acceptable. You can still have Serge purchase everything for you."

"Fine," he said dismissively. He didn't give a damn about how overdressed he appeared in whatever social situation he encountered. Dressing the way that he did made him feel superior and more refined in contrast to the lowly mortals he was forced to interact with on a daily basis. But her tone hinted at some degree of excitement in helping him select his apparel and, if such an insignificant act of acquiescence could bring her a bit of delight, then he wished to give in to her request.

"So what about back home? What does a Prince of Asgard typically wear during an average day? " she asked when she was satisfied there was nothing more than a few peanuts drowning in the spicy sauce left in its paper container. She began scavenging through the other container but found only an overabundance of wide-sliced green onions floating in the sweet brown sauce.

Loki took a sip of wine. "Our style of dress is far more... arresting than the fashions seen here on Midgard. My casual attire on Asgard is not that much different than my formal attire. I only need the addition of a cape and my helm and I am instantly ready for a formal gathering."

"Hmmm. I've seen your signature helmet. What's up with that anyway? If I didn't have the benefit of personal experience, I would think you were overcompensating for some sort of shortcoming," she chuckled.

"Do. Not. Make. Fun. Of. The. Helm. Ever." Loki's response was delivered in the most serious of tones and with the harshest of glares, and he was at a complete loss as to why it only elicited a fit of giggles from her. "Alexandra," he sputtered in irritation. "It is a head covering designed to incite fear and obedience amongst my subjects. The mere sight of it should command respect and reverence."

"On Asgard maybe, but definitely not here!" She knew he was speaking in earnest, but she was unable to stifle the chortle that escaped her mouth. As she regained her composure, she glanced over at him and saw that he was beside himself with frustration. He looked so utterly miserable and she began to feel guilty that her teasing had wound him up so.

"Don't mind me," she said gently. "I...I'm sure it's quite imposing. I just have a tendency to rebel against anything that implies authority. "

Loki's countenance softened. "I have an issue with authority as well."

"I'd say that's quite the understatement," she replied, winking at him. She could see that he was no longer irate with her. "So. Show me an Asgardian version of casual wear," she requested.

Loki stood and flashed himself into an outfit consisting primarily of form-fitted black leather with inlaid metal accents. Alex was rendered momentarily speechless as he turned in a slow circle so that she could take in the full view of his attire. The intricately detailed ensemble conveyed a refined yet bold masculinity that only further accentuated the commanding presence and regal bearing he characteristically displayed. She wouldn't have thought it possible prior to seeing him dressed like this that he was capable of exuding even more sex appeal than before, but there it was. And she was floored.

"Wow. I mean...just...wow. You look really, really good in that," she stammered. "But is that even comfortable?"

"I find it to be very comfortable," he replied, sitting back down at the table.

"Can you wear this the next time we're alone together?" she requested, running her hand along one of his sleeves to feel the texture of the leather.

"So, you like this?" he queried with a sly grin, knowing full well that she liked it very much.

"Ummm...yeah. Just a bit. Will you show me how to take it off of you?" she replied in a voice she hoped sounded seductive rather than desperate.

Loki let out a deep laugh and reached for her hand. "Alexandra, the longer I stay with you the harder you make it for me to leave. So that brings us to the topic of my next visit since I am not allowed to just show up at your door whenever the mood strikes."

She was pleased that he had taken their conversation to heart and gave his hand a squeeze. "Tomorrow's not so good for me because I really do have quite a few things to take care of and Monday night I'm going out for Happy Hour with Jane and Jillian. How does your Tuesday look?"

"I have a function organized by Stark that I am required to attend to on Tuesday evening."

"Well, I've got yoga on Wednesday night. How about Thursday?"

"Thursday evening we return to Asgard," he replied somberly, letting go of her hand. He began slowly running his finger around the rim of his wine glass.

"You're not staying at least through Friday?" she asked, her voice laced with disappointment.

"Not this time. Thor and I have some Asgardian matters that require our attention sooner rather than later."

"When will you be back?"

"In two weeks time," he replied.

"Wednesday night after yoga, I have a couple errands I need to run but I could call you afterwards?"

"I do not have a mobile communication device," he responded matter-of-factly.

"Well, how am I supposed to get in touch with you?" she asked.

"Perhaps you could contact Agent Donovan?" he offered.

"Loki, he's not your personal secretary," she said with irritation.

"What else does he have to do?" Loki retorted. "When I'm not out somewhere I have no idea what the man does with his time. I'm sure he could take your phone call."

Alex glared at him. "I'm not at all comfortable with that. I think the man deserves some respect. I guarantee he's not thrilled with having to be your babysitter either. If you had your own cell phone, I could text you or call you. It wouldn't be intrusive because you could just check it at your convenience. It certainly would make arranging things between us so much easier," she pointed out.

Loki was unconvinced. "I don't want yet another thing to have to carry in my pocket," he grumbled. "It's bad enough that I have to carry this leather case that holds your forms of currency as well as my identification — as if people don't already know who I am."

"Look, it serves as a mini computer too. You can put all kinds of information in there like appointment dates and other important things you don't want to forget," she offered.

"I have no need for reminders," Loki snorted. "I remember everything I read or hear."

"Oh really," she said, folding her arms across her chest and looking at him skeptically. "Tell me about where I come from and I don't mean just the name of the city."

Loki sighed, leaned back and crossed his long legs at the ankles. "You originally hail from Baltimore, which is in the state of Maryland. You lived there for most of your life in the same house, except for when you went to college and lived on campus. For both your undergraduate and graduate degrees, you attended Johns Hopkins University, which according to you is a very prestigious institution of higher education. You lived a three hour drive from the Atlantic Ocean and you would spend a significant portion of your adolescent summers on the beach because your best friend's family owned a secondary residence there." He crossed his arms in turn, gave her a look of smug satisfaction and asked, "Have I passed your test yet?"

Alex stared at him for a moment, open-mouthed. She got up and grabbed her phone off of the coffee table and returned to stand behind him. Leaning down so that her face was near his, she took a selfie with him in the frame. She showed him the photo of the two of them and he grabbed the phone from her to study the image closer. Her beautiful face held a playful smile while he simply looked bewildered. He saw, too, that she had held up two curved fingers behind his head, no doubt impishly trying to mock his helm. He realized then, that he wanted a photograph of her that was his own. Because even though his brain had memorized every single detail and nuance of her face, he wanted to be able to call up an actual image of her to view whenever he wanted. He would consider procuring the handheld electronic device she was suggesting for such a purpose, he decided.

"Let me take a better one where you're not surprised," she said as she took the phone and raised it to take another shot. This time he smiled and the resulting photo of him was breathtaking. Alex was ecstatic that she would have this to look at in his absence. As she considered the image carefully, she decided she didn't look half bad either considering she had no make-up on and her hair was an unruly mess.

This was the way Loki liked her best and he felt she looked simply stunning. He knew he had had a hand in why her hair looked wild with abandon and why her lips were plump and swollen, and this was the way he always wanted to see her. "I want this image. How do I get it?" he demanded.

She kissed his cheek and replied, "Get yourself a cell phone and I'll text it to you."

He knew that in the end he would capitulate. It was becoming a habit for him when it came to her and it was concerning only in that it actually drove very little concern for him. The need to win at all costs didn't even register for him when she was near and he felt more inclined to give her the satisfaction of the smaller victories whenever possible. How was she always able to bend him to her will without the use of magic, Loki wondered. Donovan had been correct the other evening when he had said that women were a complete mystery.


	12. Chapter 12 - The Void

**Chapter 12 - The Void**

Alex exhaled deeply and slowly sank into the sofa. She kicked her feet up on the coffee table and rubbed her calves, using her fingers to knead the tight muscles. She was exhausted from her all-day cleaning spree and the four loads of laundry she had just completed and put away. The apartment was now spotless and the weight of obligation was finally off of her shoulders for the time being. All she wanted to do at this moment was lose herself in some mindless made-for-tv movie. Preferably, something that involved an inconceivable plot line like sharks flying in tornados. As she reached for the remote control, the ring tone of her cell phone shattered the silence with a peppy tune that indicated it was Jillian calling.

Answering on the second ring, Alex asked exuberantly, "Hey! How was the party?"

"Good. It was a good time," Jillian replied, spiritlessly.

Noting that Jillian's tone was off, Aex questioned, "Is everything alright?"

"Everyone says, 'hello' and misses you," Jillian responded, her voice still lacking any warmth. She paused and then asked with genuine interest, "So how was the dinner date?"

"Incredible," Alex responded, breathlessly. "He even spent the night!"

"Seriously?" Jillian asked, her tone lifting.

"I know, right?" Alex replied, unable to contain her excitement. She leaned back into the sofa and hugged her knees, smiling to herself.

"I'll be damned. So, was it awkward ‒ waking up and finding him still there? Do gods even sleep?"

Alex giggled. "I woke up to him spooning me."

"Shut the fuck up!" Jillian exclaimed with incredulity.

"Swear to God," Alex replied, feeling giddy to the point that she kicked her feet up and down in exhilaration. "Jill – it was totally surreal. And strangely _not_ awkward at all. We just hung out all day Saturday, doing what people do who have known each other for ages. It was very relaxed and… comfortable." It made her smile to use the same word Loki had used to describe the unique nature of their relationship.

"So are you two like going steady now?" Jillian teased.

"Shut up. We're just friends."

"_Just_ friends?"

"Yes. _Just_ friends. With mind-blowing, toe-curling benefits," Alex responded, laughing.

Jillian cleared her throat, her voice suddenly becoming serious. "So, speaking of 'just friends.' Guess who I ran into at Cross Street Market yesterday?"

"No idea," Alex lied, knowing instinctively the name that Jillian was sure to say. She felt a nervous sensation in the pit of her stomach that slowly spread to her chest, constricting her breathing. Dread enveloped her as she anticipated where the conversation was heading. _So not in the mood for this_, she thought, beginning to regret taking the call.

"Your buddy, 'ole pal, Kyle," Jillian responded in an accusatory tone.

"Oh."

"_Oh_? Is that all you have to say?" Jillian's voice became more irate with every intake of breath. "Aren't you the least bit curious to hear what he's been up to?" she asked, sarcastically.

Having been such close friends for so many years, Alex was well aware of Jillian's legendary ability to go from serene to positively seething in less than a nanosecond. This was going to get ugly, and fast.

"Fine, Jillian. I'll bite. What's he been up to?"

Jillian responded with a saccharine sweetness that was beyond patronizing. "It was all so fascinating. He's really quite an interesting conversationalist – but I'm sure you already knew that. We were just chatting away and he said the most peculiar thing."

Alex rolled her eyes. "And what was that?"

"He said he was _so_ happy to hear how well you were doing in New York."

"What's so peculiar about that?"

"Well, the fact that he said he spoke with you on the phone quite recently for starters," Jillian chastised. "So your innocuous little email exchange has now escalated to live conversations?"

"He called me, yes. We've had one conversation." _Nevermind that it had been two hours long_, Alex thought. "Don't read any more into it than there really is."

"I don't have to read anything into it!" Jillian exclaimed. "I only know what he specifically said. Apparently, while he's 'thrilled' that you seem to be getting along fine in New York and accomplishing such great things with your work – he 'knows' that you are only going through the motions and really need to move back home where you can be closer to the network of friends you left behind."

Alex began twisting one of her curls around her finger as she imagined the air quote gestures that Jillian would be making for emphasis had they been speaking face-to-face.

"Do you have _any_ idea how difficult it was for me not to kick him in the goddamn balls when he insinuated that he somehow knows you better than I do?" Jillian was growing even more agitated.

Alex knew that this was only the tip of the iceberg and there was nothing that could alter the path of this conversation. "Well, I'm actually surprised that you didn't verbally castrate him at the very least," she remarked, hoping to lighten the mood.

"Oh, but he was on such a roll and I didn't want to spoil it. Apparently, if you lived closer to him, that would solve all your problems. He's still got a pretty high opinion of himself. I used to think it was because you were always fawning all over him, but now I see that it has nothing to do with that. Tell me, Alex, did he ever even really see you through that thick haze of self-importance?"

Alex winced. "Ouch. That was low blow, Jillian."

"Maybe. And maybe I need to take the gloves off to help you really see the loser you keep trying to align yourself with."

Taking a deep breath, Alex replied slowly, "Look, I get it. I really do. You care about me. You want to protect me. You don't want to see me devastated like I was the last time."

"Try the last _two_ times," Jillian interrupted.

"Fine. But things are different now. _I'm_ different now. I'm not the same stupid, naive twit who let him call all the shots like before. We're _just_ talking, easing back into our friendship. I'm feeling things out from that perspective only, that's all. _Nothing_ is going to happen without a _lot_ of thought and careful deliberation, I promise."

"God. Listen to yourself. It's almost like you believe your own horseshit. What exactly are you 'feeling out' here? The viability of a friendship with this jerkwad or the hope for something more? You talk a good game about easing back into your friendship, but I'm not buying it for a second. You somehow think the third time's the charm, don't you?" Jillian said accusingly.

Alex knew there was considerable truth in Jillian's words and fought with her shame in silence.

"You know he's still with _her,_ don't you? Did he tell you that? He was there with her when I ran into him!" Jillian exclaimed.

"I assumed as much. As I told you, we just talked a little bit, mostly about me. I didn't want him to think I was interested in going there again with him and so I didn't ask him about her. I swear to God, all we talked about was how I'm doing."

"Since you two are so chummy now, did you tell him about your new otherworldly boyfriend?" Jillian probed.

"Geez, Jill – enough with that! He's _not_ my boyfriend. And why the hell would I even bring him up with Kyle? What purpose would that serve?"

"It would show that you've moved on. Your inability to cut the cord is quite the ego boost, in case you couldn't tell."

"Wow. So you don't think there's even the _slightest_ chance that Kyle might find me remotely interesting, or think I'm fun to be with, or possess any number of other qualities that would make him want to associate with me? I'm only worth his time because my pathetic neediness is a turn-on?" Alex retorted. "It's a goddamn wonder I have any friends at all."

"I...I didn't mean it like that. You know I think you're amazing."

"Then what did you mean exactly?"

"I just don't think he sees you for the truly incredible person that you are. I think he has an _idea_ of you and that's the person he wants. And truth be told, I'm sure it must feel pretty fucking awesome for him to know that no matter what he does, you're never actually going to be out of the picture."

"You've made a lot of assumptions about Kyle, partly because I've never been able to adequately explain to you the nature of our relationship. But we've always had this incredibly deep connection. I hate to break it to you, Jill, but he does know me better than anyone else does. Including you."

Jillian actually snorted. "Is that so? Please, by all means, enlighten me as to how and when he became such an expert in all things Alex." The venom in her voice was unmistakable.

"Look, he just gets me. He knows how scared I am under this whole facade. The whole bright lights, big city thing isn't really my scene. He's right, I _am_ just going through the motions here. The only thing keeping me from moving back to Baltimore is the thought of disappointing you."

The ensuing silence on the end of the line had Alex shifting nervously in her seat. _Wait for it_… she thought.

"First of all, _everyone_ who knows you knows how scared you are with this, with _everything_. Why do you think no one talked you out of leaving it all behind to come out here?" Not waiting for Alex to respond, Jillian continued, "Because we all knew that you desperately needed a change! We knew that you were never going to find yourself sitting around the same old scene doing the same old shit with the same old people. Don't think that I don't _get_ you. You would rather avoid the hope of what's possible than to put anything at risk. Kyle's just an example of you gravitating toward the devil you know than the devil you don't, am I right? But don't you dare try to use me as an excuse for staying. I am plenty _disappointed_ that we are even having to have this conversation at all, so please spare me your bullshit."

In all of their years of friendship, Alex had never borne the brunt of Jillian's anger, never experienced what it felt like to be the sole focus of her wrath. Tears began to sting her eyes as she feared what words might be spoken that could never be unsaid. Regardless of their opposing views about Kyle, Alex couldn't fathom a world where Jillian wasn't by her side, serving as her best friend and lifeline. They both sat in silence for a long moment, each collecting their thoughts.

"I don't know what you expect me to say," Alex finally said. "He's important to me and..."

"You're not going to start in on that soul mate crap, are you?" Jillian interrupted. "Because I honestly don't think just being able to finish someone's sentences or quoting the same movie lines really makes someone your soul mate."

"There's more to it than just that," Alex replied weakly. Her tone was unconvincing, even to herself.

"Please let me finish," Jillian interjected. "I would think that someone's _soul_ mate would make themselves available in both good times and bad. I mean, I don't recall him being around when your mother became so ill and was put into hospice. And I don't remember him there with you when you met with the funeral director to make the final arrangements. Or meeting with the attorney when it was time to settle her estate. And oh yeah, I don't remember him being there when we all helped packed up her house after you sold it. Do you remember him being around for _any_ of that because I sure as hell don't. So quit acting as if he's the knight in shining armor who's always been there for you because we all know that when things get tough, Kyle is fucking nowhere to be found!"

A sound of anguish escaped from Alex's throat as the blunt force of Jillian's words tore through her. Everything she had said was true and the harsh reality of it cut Alex to the core. Kyle had made himself available only in the darkness of night when she had needed the physical intimacy to help her cope, but even then he had remained emotionally beyond her reach. It had been Brandon who had been with Alex when she met with the hospice staff. And Jillian and Dana who had sat with her and helped plan the funeral arrangements. And Jake who drove her to the attorney's office and helped her figure out all of the finances.

"No, he wasn't there all those times," she admitted through tears. "But it doesn't mean he wasn't there for me in other ways."

Jillian's voice was shrill. "Alex, why the fuck do you keep making excuses for him? He isn't worth it and you can't be so lost as to not know that!"

The tears were now falling in torrents as Alex choked out, "Enough! I really can't take this, Jillian. I mean it. I don't need for every bad decision I've ever made to be constantly rubbed in my face. Do you have any idea how hard this is for me? Not just this conversation but waking up each and every fucking day and trying to pretend like _any_ of it matters? You can't possibly imagine what this feels like to be so alone _all_ of the time! My father's gone. My mother's gone. I have absolutely no family left in this world. I can't even describe to you what it's like – this overwhelming loneliness. And maybe it drives me towards decisions that I might later regret, I don't know. But the sad thing is that I don't care enough to care."

"Oh, Alex," Jillian replied, her tone instantly softening and laced with concern. "I had no idea that you were feeling this way."

"Jill – you don't know what it's like," Alex sobbed. "It's... it's suffocating me. Some days it's all I can do to just breathe."

"You're right, I can't imagine how hard this has been for you – still _is_ for you. But you have to know that you have me and all our friends back home. We're your family. We're _always_ going to be there for you. "

Alex's sobs racked through her body, making it difficult to speak. She tried wiping away some of the tears that had soaked her cheeks but they were immediately replaced with what seemed like a never ending deluge. The dam that had kept her emotions at bay for so long had finally burst and she was unable to control the waves of sorrow that threatened to swallow her whole. Having been so successful at concealing her grief from everyone for so long, she foolishly had begun to believe that perhaps it had dissipated, that she could forget.

Inhaling deeply, she finally responded, "Jillian, you are the best friend any person could ever hope for. And all of our crew back home – everyone has been there for me through the worst of times, and I love you all so much. But it's not the same. No matter how much you want it to be, it just isn't the same. Every day, whether you realize it or not, your mother and father are counting their blessings and giving thanks that they have you in their lives. And even though you're a grown woman and on your own, they will _never_ stop worrying about you or hoping for only the best to come your way. You have never known a single day what it's like to not be so loved or cherished. But I do know what that's like. There is no one in this world who wakes up and spends every morning thinking how grateful they are that I was born. Or worries about me or prays for my well-being with their whole heart. I used to matter like that to someone. I used to be that loved and cherished, and now it's gone. And loneliness doesn't even begin to describe this void I feel. Yes, I have wonderful friends who care about me, but friends eventually go on to have families of their own. Can't you see how it can never be the same?"

She could hear that Jillian was softly crying on the other end of the line.

"Every day, all I feel surrounding me is this emptiness. Sure, there are moments when I can engage, but most of the time I just feel… hollow. Like there's this great big hole inside of me and there's nothing that can fill it. And so, yes, maybe Kyle is emotionally unavailable or commitment shy or a countless other things, but he's someone from my past who's important to me. And I just can't bring myself to let go of someone else right now who means something to me. I can't do it. Even if maybe I should."

Jillian wept openly through her reply, "It absolutely breaks my heart to know you are suffering like this. All I want to do is fix it, but I know I can't. I just want to be here for you. It's important that you know that. And, honest to God, I don't want to ever cause you more pain, but, honey – that hole – Kyle's not ever going to be able to fill it. In fact, he'll just make it bigger until there's nothing left of you. And I'm dying inside because I finally understand now why you don't want to let go but I'm so scared of what it's going to do to you if you don't."

They remained on the line, both of them sniffling and trying to regain their composure. As painful as it had been for Alex to finally acknowledge the desolation she felt and why she was holding on to a past that held no real promise for a better future, the admission also had been cathartic and cleansing. It gave rise to the hope that perhaps she could one day move beyond it even if only by infinitesimal degrees.

"Alex, do you think maybe you should see a grief counselor or something?" Jillian asked.

"Probably. I'm sure there's also a million or more self-help books on the subject that I could read. I guess I wasn't really ready to address it until now."

"What you're going through...This is a really big deal and it shouldn't be dismissed."

"Agreed. I promise I'll take some steps."

"Do you want me to come over tonight? I could just drive straight there."

"No, but thanks. I know it flies in the face of all this loneliness talk, but I really just want to be by myself tonight. I'm exhausted," Alex replied.

"I totally get it. Loneliness and being alone are definitely not the same thing." Jillian paused. "Alex... are we okay? I mean, nothing's broken between us is there?" she asked tentatively.

"No, we're fine. I'm probably more relieved than anything to finally get this out in the open. But I don't want to talk about the Kyle thing anymore. Not for a while at least, okay? I've heard you. I understand your point of view. It's just something I need to work through myself."

"I understand. Are you still up for happy hour tomorrow night with Jane?" Jillian asked, hopefully.

"Yep, totally looking forward to it."

"Great. Then I'll see you tomorrow. I love you, Alex," Jillian said. "You will always matter to me."

Tears pricked at Alex's eyes once again. "Thanks. I love you, too."

Laying on the sofa, Alex felt completely wrecked. Sheer exhaustion quickly overtook her and she drifted off into a fitful sleep, dreaming that she was lost in a dark labyrinth and unable to find her way out. Over and over again, she made the same turns only to find herself in the exact same spot deep in the heart of the maze. A familiar voice that she could not place came from behind, saying, "Let me help you. Let me show you the way out." But she never turned around and only proceeded to follow the same path she had been on again and again. Consumed by frustration and hopelessness, she ripped fistfuls of hair out and scratched at the stone walls until her nail beds bled. All the while, the voice in the darkness pleaded for her to just open her eyes, that the way out was right in front of her.

She woke up in a cold sweat, unrested and eager to get the dream out of her head. Trying to lose herself in a TV show, the voice from the dream and her inability to place it still lingered in the recesses of her mind, nagging at her subconscious for the rest of the night and well into the next morning.

After she arrived at the office the following day, she immediately immersed herself in her work and forgot all about the unsettling dream. It was almost noon and her stomach began growling at an embarrassingly loud volume, reminding her that she had consumed nothing more than coffee during the morning and little more than an apple the night before. She was just about to head to the cafeteria when she heard heard the familiar ding of a text notification. She picked up her phone which had been lying on her desk and saw that the text was from an unknown number.

_I now have the electronic communication device you wished me to obtain. Having met my part of the agreement, please honor yours and send the photograph to me._

She couldn't help but smile as she thought that this had to be one of the most formally written texts in the history of all texts. Her mood turned playful as she began typing her reply. _He's no the only one capable of mischief_, she thought, her eyes filled with mirth.

_Who is this?_

She caught herself laughing out loud as she saw his response.

_It is I, Loki, Prince of Asgard._

_Never heard of you._

There was a long pause and she smiled as she pictured him staring at his phone with a befuddled expression on his gorgeous face. _This is too much fun_, she thought wickedly.

_I apologize for my error and shall bring upon ruin to the individual who falsely indicated that this was Alexandra Bennett's phone number.  
_

Her smile swiftly dissolved as she worried that perhaps he wasn't joking. She quickly typed her response.

_Just messing with you. Yes, it is I, Alex, from New York._

She contorted her face into the most ridiculous expression that she could and quickly snapped a selfie, sending it to him with a text that read:

_I__s this the picture you were referring to?_

His reply was instantaneous.

_NO, it is not._

_I'm not sure what picture then?_

_You are an exasperating creature._

_You have no idea._ (She added a few smiley face emoticons for emphasis.)

_Alexandra, please send me the photo of the two of us from the other night. You know exactly which one._

Before she could type in a response, another text came through. 

_I have yet to withhold from you anything that you have desired from me. _

Alex blushed as she understood his meaning. 

_No, but sometimes you make me beg before giving it to me..._

"I was under the impression that you rather enjoy it when I do that."

She jumped at the sound of his voice as she turned to see him standing behind her. The nearness of him and the memories dredged up by his words made her blush to her toes. She looked to see if anyone was watching them. Most of her department, including Eli, had already left for whatever lunch plans they had each arranged. With the exception of a few co-workers who were randomly seated throughout the large expanse of space with noses buried in their computers, Alex and Loki were mostly alone.

"No comment," she replied, unable to fully meet his gaze. Her hunger had evolved into that of a different sort as she took in his appearance. Ever the formal dresser, Loki cut an elegant figure in his fitted navy Burberry suit with pick-stitch detailing. His pale complexion was offset by the crisp white shirt he wore underneath and accentuated by the solid inky-blue silk tie that had been tied into a perfect Windsor knot. _Serge really knows his shit_, Alex mused. 

Not wanting to obsess over his looks any further, she quickly added his number to her contacts list and then AirDropped him the photograph he wanted. He smiled when he saw that he had received it and saved it into his Photo Library. She was amazed at how effortlessly he was able to perform the task, as if he had owned a smartphone for much longer than a day.

"Where did you learn how to use that thing?" she asked.

"Agent Donovan. Jane. The on-line manual. It's really rather intuitive, actually,'" he replied matter-of-factly. Alex was reminded of how quickly he read and learned things.

"I'm so glad you got it," she said excitedly. "Now I can text you on Wednesday night and arrange when and where for us to meet."

"Yes," he replied. Upon closer inspection as he closed the distance between them, he noted that there were dark circles under her eyes, marring the perfection of her face. "Did you have trouble sleeping last night?" he queried.

She was caught off-guard by his question. "Yes. Um… why do you ask?"

He reached out his hand and gently rubbed his thumb across her cheekbone. "You just look a little tired." He felt her recoil slightly at his touch as he saw her looking around the room again to assess if anyone had noticed. His gesture had come from genuine concern and an unconscious desire to feel her skin against his. But he realized, after the fact, that this simple act might not be considered appropriate behavior in the workplace and he wished not to cause her further embarrassment.

He brought his hand back down and nonchalantly adjusted the cuffs of his jacket. "Were you on your way out?" he asked.

"I was heading to the cafeteria to get some lunch," she replied tentatively. She paused, realizing that she was not yet ready to reveal to the entire workforce at Stark Industries that they were somehow acquainted with each other. "To...uh… meet some friends."

She wanted to make sure that she didn't sound like she was issuing him an invitation. It was not entirely a lie, she thought. There were bound to be some colleagues in the dining room that she would have sat with during lunch.

"I'll leave you to it then," he responded, turning to go. "Thank you for the photograph." If he had caught her apprehension at the thought of them being seen together, he gave no indication.

"I'll see you Wednesday night," she called after him, feeling somewhat guilty as she watched him walk away. Making her way to the cafeteria, she managed to convince herself that the attention they were sure to have received would not only have been unwelcome for her, but would have made Loki uncomfortable as well. And, of course, she wanted to spare him that if she could.


	13. Chapter 13 - Meaningful Distraction

Chapter 13 - Meaningful Distraction

Alex got to Riserva first and ordered herself a glass of unoaked Chardonnay. She loved the decor of the trendy wine bar with its plush velvet jewel-tone couches and low distressed wood tables dotting the floor throughout the space. The light fixtures that hung from high exposed beams in the ceiling were salvaged antique chandeliers, giving a unique ambience of retro elegance mixed with the urban vibe of exposed brick and weathered wood. This was a favorite hangout of hers and Jillian's because it featured an extensive selection of wines on tap and was only a block away from the Stark Tower. She saw Jillian and Jane enter together and waved them over to the cozy spot she had settled in.

Jane gave her a mega-watt smile and a bear hug to go with it when Alex stood to greet them. "You don't know how much I have been looking forward to this," Jane said exuberantly. "All day long, it's like testosterone central at work. So, even though I'm not much of a girly-girl, at this point I'd really welcome a conversation about periods or mani-pedis right about now."

Alex laughed. "Okay, that we can do, but let's get you two a drink first." She glanced over at Jillian, who was looking at her tentatively. They had not seen each other since their revelatory conversation the night before, and Jillian appeared uncharacteristically apprehensive wondering where their relationship stood. Sensing her uncertainty, Alex gave her a warm embrace and kissed her on the cheek. "We're good," she whispered in her ear, feeling Jillian instantly exhale and relax her shoulders.

The three women settled into their seats as a waiter arrived to take their order. He was suitably cordial and boyishly attractive with a prominent dimple that graced his cheek as he smiled. "Good evening," he said as he addressed Jane and Jillian. "My name is Jorge and I will be serving you tonight. What can I get you ladies to drink?" His accent and gorgeous caramel skin tone hinted at some type of Latino descent, and Alex noticed Jillian's eyes gleam as she overtly sized him up.

Quickly glancing at the extensive menu, Jane settled on a crisp Sauvignon Blanc while Jillian ordered a Rioja. "Oh, and your featured cheese plate please, Jorge," Jillian called out as he began to walk away.

"Of course," he replied with a wink.

Jillian craned her neck so that she could study his backside. Turning, she whistled approvingly to her friends. "Now that's a fine specimen."

Alex laughed, "Geez, Jillian, he's practically a child."

"Oh, I know," Jillian replied with a wicked grin. "Just think of all the things I could teach him." The three broke out into peals of laughter.

Jorge returned with their drink order and set out small square appetizer plates in front of each of them while Jillian flirted shamelessly. Alex and Jane looked at each other and tried with great difficulty not to giggle as they sipped their drinks. After he left, promising to return shortly with their cheese plate, Jillian nestled into the sofa and raised her glass in a toast. "To a fun-filled girl's night out where we shall speak of nothing but bikini waxes, celebrity gossip, and whatever else it is that Jane needs to remind herself that vaginas rule!"

"Here, here," Alex chimed in with a smile as they each clinked their glasses. "She has such a way with words, doesn't she?" she joked as Jane laughed and Jillian gave a mock bow from her seat.

Jane took a long sip from her wine glass and set it down on the table before leaning back and crossing her legs. "Seriously, all day long it's like dealing with a bunch of unruly teenage boys. Which, I suppose, is somewhat understandable in Thor and Loki's situation since they probably really are only teenagers given their incredibly long life spans. But Tony? I really don't know what his excuse is." She shook her head and rolled her eyes, appearing exasperated, but it was evident in her tone that she was deeply fond of all of them.

Jorge returned a moment later with their cheese plate, explaining each type of cheese that was featured along with the various accoutrements of gherkins, figs and honey, and quince jam. Alex noticed that despite Jillian's flirtatious touches to his arm coupled with her breathy, inane questions regarding the assortment of baguette slices and crackers, Jorge was doing an amazing job of holding his own. "I'll be back to check on you, and perhaps I can tempt your palate with something else," he said directly to Jillian.

Alex's eyebrows rose at the seductive tone in his voice. She looked over at Jane and then at Jillian, who thanked him nonchalantly. After he walked away, Alex remarked, "Well, well. Our young Jorge's got game!"

"Indeed," Jillian replied, fanning herself coquettishly. "Come on, now. Why should you two be the only lucky ones getting all that fantastic sex?" The words were barely out of her mouth before she froze and looked apologetically at Alex, who had begun choking on her wine.

"What's this? Alex, do you have a new boyfriend?" Jane asked, excitedly.

Alex's eyes grew wide as she looked at Jillian to rescue her. Instead, Jillian gave her an obvious shrug and said, "Yeah Alex, why don't you tell Jane all about your new boyfriend? I'm sure she'd love to hear about him."

Jane set down her glass and looked eagerly at Alex.

"Umm...he's not a boyfriend," Alex stammered. "More like a friend, really."

"A friend she's _fucking_," Jillian was quick to point out, receiving a dirty look from Alex and a chuckle from Jane.

"And? What's his name? What does he do? I need details!" Jane prodded. "Does he work at Stark?"

"Ummm...well...sort of," Alex murmured.

"Really? Do I know him?" Jane asked.

Alex looked over at Jillian who was nodding to indicate that full disclosure was required. "Yesss," Alex tentatively replied, dragging out the word so that it sounded multisyllabic. She paused. "You...uh...work with him."

Jane furrowed her brow, mentally processing all of the available men she knew who worked with her at Stark Industries. It took approximately seven seconds before her eyes grew wide in dawning and she whispered, "Oh. My. God." She then quickly grabbed Alex's hand and exclaimed, "It's you!"

Alex's voice was laced with worry as she asked, "It's me, what?"

Now squeezing her hand tightly, Jane began rambling excitedly, "We _knew_ there had to be someone special in his life! He just all of a sudden stopped talking about his conquests...he seemed almost shy about it, which was so unlike him. In fact, he completely stopped talking at all about what he did in his spare time, which really started to make us wonder. And when he got that phone on Sunday... He was _obsessed_, trying to get me to teach him how to text and use the camera. I was seriously confused as to what he would want a cell phone for and why he would need it to text. I knew it wasn't just so he could play Angry Birds or Candy Crush which is the only thing Thor ever uses his for. So when he left our place last night I told Thor something was up. And Thor agreed that Loki had been acting unusual for quite some time. He said that there had been something in the report about him spending time with a regular female companion, but I had no idea that was YOU!"

"Wait. What?" Alex asked, eyes as big as dinner plates.

"What what?" Jane queried in return, finally releasing Alex's hand when she realized she was cutting off the circulation to her fingers.

"What's that you said about a report?"

"Oh, that. S.H.I.E.L.D. provides a weekly report to Tony and Thor of all of Loki's comings and goings while he's here. Everywhere he goes, what time he leaves and comes back, who he's with... They pay attention to every detail to make sure there's no cause for concern. It's all part of the arrangement which allows him to be here. Thor hasn't been all that interested in reading these reports. Loki used to tell him everything anyway, down to every sordid detail and so Thor stopped paying much attention to them. I guess until last week when Tony made a comment about Loki 'going steady' with someone."

"So Tony knows about us?" Alex exclaimed, mortified.

"He would have known about it pretty much right after it happened," Jane admitted sympathetically.

"Oh God," Alex responded weakly, covering her face with her hands. "This is not happening."

Jane put her arm around Alex's shoulder. "It's fine," she soothed. "So, when did you two first get together anyway?" she asked.

"The night of that big gala," Alex disclosed through her hands.

"Well, that explains everything," Jane said. "He never once talked about what he did or who he was with the night of that party even when we asked. And I couldn't for the life of me figure out why he was so aloof that day we ran into you in the elevator. Normally when he sees a beautiful woman, he really turns on the charm, so it seemed so odd that he was practically ignoring you."

"Didn't want the big boss to know he had banged her and was probably going to do it again," Jillian offered between bites of cheese. Alex glared at her. "What?" Jillian asked with mock innocence.

"Ugh," Alex groaned. "But Tony already knew at that point. I noticed him looking at me and then at Loki like he was waiting for something to happen. God, how am I ever going to face him again?" Her voice was shrill, bordering on hysteria, and she was distressed to see how calm her friends appeared in contrast.

"Evidently, it's not a problem or you would have been called into his office by now," Jillian remarked matter-of-factly. She spread some soft cheese across a baguette slice and handed it to Alex.

"Okay, that does make sense," Alex responded, taking in a few deep breaths and releasing them slowly. She had been rattled, fearing that her job might be in jeopardy, but relief soon settled upon her and she accepted Jillian's offering. She took a bite of the bread and cheese but had difficulty swallowing it, her throat feeling as dry as sand as she considered the level of detail that might have had made it into the S.H.I.E.L.D reports.

"Just how much information is in those reports?" she asked, coughing at the food stuck in her throat.

"I've never really read one, so I'm not sure. But I don't think it goes into any detail of what you two...uh...do when you're intimate if that's what you're worried about," Jane replied reassuringly. She slathered a generous helping of quince jam on a cracker before placing a slice of Manchego cheese on top of it. Nibbling a bit too slowly, it became evident that she was mustering the courage to say something else. "So, are you two serious?" she finally asked.

"What?! No! We're just friends," Alex replied, seeming flustered. Jane looked at her with skepticism. Jillian rolled her eyes. "With benefits," Alex quickly added as if somehow that hadn't been already apparent.

"With benefits?" Jane looked over at Jillian who rolled her eyes again. Jane turned her attention back to Alex. "Alex, do you have any idea what a big deal this is?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, Loki is never with the same woman twice. And when I say never, I mean _never_. The fact that he has been seeing you with some regularity and isn't sleeping with anyone else is a really big deal."

"How do you know he isn't seeing anyone else?" Alex asked with as much apathy in her voice as she could manufacture. Although she had never articulated as much with Loki, she didn't relish the thought of him being with another woman while they were sexually involved with each other.

"He would have made a point to brag about it like he's done in the past. The fact that he isn't talking about it at all and what Thor said about the report leads me to believe there is only one person he's involved with ‒ and that's you," Jane replied with conviction.

Alex unconsciously breathed out a sigh of relief and immediately became lost in thought, taking no notice that her companions had caught her reaction and had exchanged knowing glances with each other. That Loki enjoyed her company was evident. Why else would he have made the effort to see her on multiple occasions, she rationalized. Whenever they were together, he appeared so entirely focused on her that it seemed highly unlikely that he lavished that same kind of time and attention on anyone else, at least while he was here in New York. But she had been down this road before with Kyle and he had made juggling two relationships at the same time into an art form, so she refused to allow herself any type of reassurance.

"Just because he hasn't been hooking up all over the place does not mean that we are a big deal," she concluded.

"Wait. You don't think it's a big deal that this otherworldly gorgeous, albeit deranged, god would rather be spending all of his free time with you when he could be off doing half the population of Manhattan whenever he felt like it? That includes guys too, by the way, because he's _that_ pretty," Jillian noted. "You don't think it's a big deal that he got a cell phone specifically so he could text you and _only_ you?" she asked incredulously, staring at her friend in disbelief.

"Seriously, Alex. He is so into you," Jane confirmed.

"Come on now, stop reading more into it than there really is. He finds me interesting because I'm so inexperienced and inept around him. I'm like a comic, nerdy trainwreck he can't look away from," Alex explained dismissively. "That, and he really likes my cooking."

Jane shook her head. "Alex, I assure you that it would take far more than just that to make him want to keep seeing you. And _everyone_ is inexperienced and inept around a god, take it from me."

"What's to over analyze here? He likes you because you're sweet, smart, gorgeous, and great in the sack," Jillian declared as she bit into a cracker.

"New York is full of women like that," Alex quickly blurted out. "No," she replied, her tone softening. "If you want my honest opinion, I think we connected because we've both suffered an incredible loss. We're still grieving the deaths of our mothers and that shared understanding is what links us."

Silence filled the space between them as her companions solemnly drank their wine and contemplated what she had said.

"Alex, I need you to listen to me," Jane finally remarked. "There are few people who know him as well as I do. Despite the overly cocky exterior, he really is still very fragile. For him to give you anything of himself means that he holds you in very high regard. If this is a fling and meaningless for you, you can't string him along. I know he's working hard on his issues, but rejection is definitely one of his triggers. I don't want his heart broken like that. I don't think anyone wants his heart broken like that."

Alex swallowed what felt like a lump in her throat. "Jane, believe me when I say casual sex has never been my thing," she replied sincerely. "But we're not exactly picking out rings either. If I can be completely honest, he's a very meaningful distraction for me right now. And I think it's the same for him. We do matter to each other ‒ it's just maybe not in the way you're envisioning."

"Fair enough, but you need to be completely honest with him about your intentions with this relationship," Jane implored. "He needs to be prepared for how far this will or won't go."

"Wait," Alex countered. "Why is everyone so worried about Loki? He's the one holding all the cards, not me. Isn't it much more likely that I'd be the one getting hurt?" _That's if I let him get too close_, Alex thought.

"And there it is," Jillian stated simply as she set down her glass.

"What?" Alex challenged, irritation apparent in her voice.

"This whole 'we're just friends with benefits' act you're running with. You won't even admit to yourself that it could be more because you're terrified that he'll break you," Jillian rejoined, her eyes boring into Alex in an unspoken dare to contradict her.

_Break me? He could shatter me_, Alex thought. She looked away without a response.

Jane took Alex's hand again. "Be open to it, Alex. See the potential I see in him."

"Okay," Jillian interjected, holding up her hand. "I've been as supportive as I can be so far because I believe it's high time Alex explores the possibility of a new romance. But I've just got to ask, is it insane to want it to be with _this_ guy of all guys? I mean, Jane, how do _you_ even like him? Didn't he try to kill your boyfriend ‒ his own brother ‒ on multiple occasions? I'm having a real hard time reconciling the fact that the guy my best friend is in relationship denial over is the same homicidal maniac who destroyed half of this city a few years ago. Help me understand why I should even tolerate him let alone support their relationship."

Jane took a deep breath. "Totally fair question. I'll admit, Jillian, I hated Loki when I first met him. With every fiber of my being. Everything he had done to Thor, what he did and could have done to New York...to our world... I considered him the most vile, despicable being in the universe. But I've come to realize that it's easy to hate what you don't understand. And these Asgardians can sometimes be very hard to understand."

She looked at Alex who had begun twisting a lock of her hair. "Did you know he saved me from being sucked into oblivion? Me. He didn't even know me then. I would have been ripped apart into nothing more than mitochondria floating in between worlds, but he jumped up and pushed me out of the way with no regard for his own personal safety. And then a little later when he sacrificed himself to kill that Dark Elf, Algrim, to save us...there was no ulterior motive that I could tell. It was pure instinct. He knew the universe was in jeopardy and he just did what he had to do."

She paused. "Afterward, when I watched Thor cradling him in his arms and saw his grief and the love he obviously felt for his brother, I knew that there had to be more to Loki than just the events of New York and New Mexico. I realized Thor couldn't have forged that kind of bond with someone who was all evil. Underneath it all, there was something more."

"I felt it too," Alex confessed, running her fingertip around the rim of her wineglass. "When I first met him. I think he was waiting for me to judge him. And when I didn't, he sort of just opened up."

Jane smiled. "It took a long time to peel back all the layers and find the real Loki. The ridiculously brilliant, always mischievous, sometimes petulant, sensitive boy underneath it all. But I promise you, it's there if you're willing to look for it. He wasn't born damaged, you know. That all happened over the course of centuries. I mean, what the hell was his father thinking? From the time they were old enough to string words together, Odin filled his boys' heads with bedtime horror stories about the Frost Giants. What did he think would come out of that if Loki ever found out about his true origin?"

Alex shook her head in sympathy. "Can you imagine what the depth of his self-loathing must be? To know that you are what you fear most in life?"

"Does that excuse everything he tried to do to Thor?" Jillian demanded.

"Even though he loved Thor, Loki had always been jealous of his relationship with their father," Jane shared. "Imagine spending centuries just trying to prove yourself, your worth. I don't condone what he did, but I do understand how he got to that point. And it makes my heart break for him at all he's endured and brought upon himself. He's behaved like a troubled adolescent, except that the stakes are so much higher when you're a god and you have civilizations in the palm of your hand."

"So, how did you ever move past that and forgive him?" Jillian asked, her tone softening.

"I'll admit that it wasn't easy. But Asgardians, while they may not be as emotionally in touch as we are in some ways, they really do know how to move beyond something. Knowing that Loki had helped to save Asgard and the other Realms seemed like enough for absolution in their eyes," Jane responded.

"Meanwhile, everyone on Earth still wants his head on a pike," Alex muttered.

Jane nodded. "There was this one night, and I'll never forget it because Thor looked so melancholy and it hurt my heart to see. He said 'No matter what good deeds Loki might perform, no matter how hard he will try to make amends, there is no amount of suffering that will ever be considered enough for your people. He will be reviled and condemned until the day he dies with no thought or consideration to the person he once was and could be again. No one has a care that he was once a boy who was his mother's greatest joy, who cared enough to make his brother laugh every time I was afraid in the night. That he grew to adulthood with one of the most brilliant minds in all the Nine Realms, who also fought fearlessly alongside our strongest warriors when there was need to defend our people. Why doesn't any of that matter?' And after that, I thought, that maybe for Thor, I could try to see some of those things too."

"So you don't think he's a danger to anyone right now?" Jillian asked.

"He's lost so much of his powers. He's healing and working hard to make himself whole. I suppose he's capable of being dangerous under the right set of circumstances. But the opposite of that is also true. Under a different set of circumstances, he's also capable of so many beautiful and wonderful things. With his mother now gone, I think he places a lot of value on the people who matter to him." Jane looked directly at Alex.

"Do you know he's trying to figure out a way for Thor and I to be together? I mean long term. I have seventy years max left to Thor's thousands. Loki's trying to figure out if there's some magic that can extend my life so that we can be together longer."

"Well, that in and of itself, is pretty amazeballs," Jillian declared.

"So do you and Thor talk much about the future ‒ of getting married, things like that?" Alex asked, curious.

"Sometimes, but not too often. We know we love each other but there's more that I want to do here yet. And so much is up in the air with Odin. When he wakes up, it's questionable whether he would approve of a match between me and Thor," Jane confessed.

"What do you think will happen to Loki when Odin wakes up?" Alex asked with concern.

"I don't know. Thor and I, we worry about it. Odin can be quite...unforgiving."

"Well, their dad sounds like a complete prick to me. Maybe you'll get lucky and he'll never wake up," Jillian proclaimed as she downed the last bit of her wine.

"Well, it would certainly make some aspects of my and Loki's lives a bit easier, but I wouldn't wish it. Thor adores his father and I don't think he could handle the thought of permanently losing him so soon after losing his mother," Jane noted.

"I would imagine that deep down, despite all that's happened between them, Loki would suffer that loss as well," Alex reflected.

"You do care about him, don't you?" Jane prompted.

"Of course I do," Alex admitted. "Just because I said he wasn't my boyfriend doesn't mean that I don't care about him. He's surprisingly endeared himself to me in such a short period of time. And outside of the mind blowing sex, I actually do enjoy his company."

Jane giggled, the mood of the conversation instantly lifting. "The sex is unbelievable isn't it? The whole stamina thing is so over the top."

Alex nodded with enthusiasm. "In all of my wildest fantasies, I never imagined anything could be that good." Memories of their most recent night together flooded her brain, suffusing her cheeks with warmth.

"I am soooo jealous right now. I want to have incredible marathon sex with a god too!" Jillian exclaimed.

They were interrupted by a polite cough. Jorge had returned to the table. "Does anyone need a refill or want to try a different selection?" he asked.

Jillian, who was not usually prone to embarrassment, flushed bright red. With merriment in her eyes, Alex ordered a refill of her Chardonnay while her companions selected new choices.

It was close to 10 o'clock when Alex arrived home. She was deliciously buzzed, feeling no pain but not drunk enough to worry about a killer hangover the next day. After Riserva, the women had gone to a gourmet burger tavern to fill their bellies with french fries and French wine. Alex had been sure that Jillian would leave her phone number for Jorge, but her friend had decided to pass in search of older prospects.

Back in her apartment, Alex felt the solitude of the space hit her in a much more pronounced way than usual. She wondered if it was the effects of the alcohol or the fact that she had just spent the past four hours in ceaseless communal chatter that made the silence so dramatic. Regardless, she wasn't quite ready for the quiet to overtake her. Turning on the TV did nothing to help and, instead of winding down for the night, she began to feel more agitated. The alert of an incoming text immediately boosted her spirits. With so much conversation about Loki this evening, it was difficult to get him off of her mind and she was eager to communicate with him.

She retrieved her phone from her purse to check the text and was immediately, and strangely, disappointed to see that it was from Kyle.

_Enjoyed some crab cakes at the Rusty Scupper tonight. Made me think of you. Hoping you're having a great night._

Alex frowned. The Rusty Scupper in Baltimore had been one of her favorite restaurants at the Inner Harbor. She usually went there only for special occasions with her mother and had occasionally gone with Kyle during the course of their on again off again romance. Tonight, she wanted no reminders of either scenario. Not interested in inviting conversation, Alex instead began composing a text to Loki.

_Hi there. What are you doing?_

_Wow. That was super engaging_, she thought after she hit send. She grew excited as she saw the icons appear that indicated he was already typing a reply.

_Reading an absorbing anthology of western philosophy._

She smiled. _That's so him_, she thought. She quickly typed a response.

_Sounds riveting._

_Very. How was your evening out?_

_So much fun! But now I'm home. With no one...I mean nothing to do._ She hoped he wasn't rolling his eyes.

_And you would like me to remedy this situation?_

_Only if you could stand to tear yourself away from your book?_

_Is this a booty call?_

Alex laughed out loud. _Yes. Most definitely._

_I will be there in exactly 18 minutes._

Her heart skipped a beat in elation as she excitedly bounded over to her dresser to pull out what she was going to wear to greet him. Her wardrobe objective was clear ‒ dress for maximum desirability right out of the gate. She wanted him as overtaken with her appearance as she was every time she saw him. She quickly changed out of her clothes and put on an emerald satin and black lace push-up bra with matching panties that were cutaway to reveal the tight cheeks of her bottom.

She debated whether or not to pin up her hair in a sexy, loose updo but chose to leave her curls wild and free so that she wouldn't have to deal with removing the pins later. She gazed at herself in the full length mirror near her bed and noted the flush of her cheeks, still warm from her buzz, and the sparkling gleam in her eyes. She wasn't particularly vain, but noted that the lingerie really accentuated her curves in a way that made her feel like she could give a Victoria's Secret model a run for her money. Not bad, she assessed, grateful that the years of yoga and Pilates had given her an overall toned look to go along with the curves. Pleased with her appearance, she began to think through how she wanted to greet him.

A hundred different poses came to mind. She became somewhat self-conscious as she positioned herself at various points within sight line of the door. She stood in the open with one hand on her hip. _No, too contrived._ She then perched herself on the sofa arm with her legs crossed. _God no. Sitting like this makes it look like I have belly flab. _She placed herself in artful repose but then couldn't get the scene from Titanic out of her mind where Rose reclines nude on the sofa as Jack sketches her while maintaining a hard-on. Other than not being a Leonardo DiCaprio fan, it did nothing for her libido to be reminded of drowning in iceberg laden waters.

"Aaargh!" she exclaimed in frustration, not knowing if she should screw the whole seductive pose plan and just answer the door as she normally would once he arrived. She looked down at her bare feet and decided that they looked rather unsexy, thus undermining her whole intended seduction vibe. It was amazing how quickly her confidence over her appearance had disintegrated. She ran to her closet to find suitable shoes to complete her ensemble

True to his word, Loki arrived within 20 minutes of his last text. Alex had called and instructed the doorman to grant him entrance when he arrived. So when he knocked on her door, she only had enough time to pose herself in a rather nondescript stance with one hand grasping the sofa back for support.

"Come in!" she called out nervously.

Loki walked in and broke into a devastatingly sensual smile as he took in her appearance. Closing the door behind him, he walked slowly toward her as he flashed from his white button down shirt and black dress trousers into the Asgardian clothes she had admired a few nights before.

"Well, I certainly hope that this was not the extent of your wardrobe this evening as you were cavorting about with your friends," he purred.

"Umm, no. This is just for you," she said, regaining some of her confidence as she basked in his visual appraisal.

He walked slowly around her to take in the full view. He could see the rise and fall of her breasts with each short, excited breath. See the slight tremble of her body as she tried to stand still on her ridiculously high black platform heels while he completed his inspection. He could practically hear her heart hammering away in her chest.

"I quite like the color," he whispered near her ear, causing her to shiver and break out in goose bumps.

"I thought you might," she replied. Did he have any idea what his nearness did to her, she wondered, as the moisture pooled between her legs. That he remembered she had wanted to see him again in his Asgardian clothes thrilled her to no end, and she imagined herself on her knees peeling them off of him with nothing but her teeth.

He walked around to face her again and looked deeply into her eyes. "You are inebriated," he commented. It was made only as a statement of observation, neither condemning nor approving.

"Only slightly so," she admitted.

The anticipation leading up to this moment had her so aroused that she ached for physical contact with him. Sensing her need, he deliberately kept himself near enough to her so that he was all but touching her. She knew his propensity for teasing her until she was beyond all rational thought and she would have none of it tonight, declaring boldly, "I'm not interested in dragging this out. I'd rather we save all that foreplay for another day and just get right down to it."

His grin was wicked. "Impatient as usual, I see. Seems like such a pity to oblige you. You know how much I enjoy hearing you beg for me…" He noticed her breath hitch and smirked, "Besides, I seem to remember a lengthy conversation not that long ago about you needing me to show interest and such before 'getting right down to it.'"

Her eyes narrowed as a spark of anger flared within their green depths. "Don't throw my words back at me. I'll gladly spell out how much I need it if that's what it will take to make you shut up and get on with it," she said through gritted teeth.

He laughed deeply as his arms encircled her and his hand buried itself in her hair, pulling her head back to accept his kiss. It was searing hot, burning through her with its possession as she melted against him, her tongue clashing with his in a struggle for dominance. He moved her towards the dining room table and roughly placed her on it, her hips just on the edge so that she was half lying on the wooden surface, her legs dangling uncomfortably off of the table with no means of support. His fingers found themselves in the waistband of her panties and he wasted no time in ripping them apart so that they no longer served as a barrier to his lust but instead became nothing more than remnants of tattered satin and lace.

The sound of her undergarment ripping only intensified the overwhelming desire that threatened to wholly consume her. She felt engulfed in flame with her need, seeking his touch with a fervor that surprised even herself. He had been kissing and nipping his way down her throat, deliberately taking his time with sending shivers up and down her spine. When she could stand it no more, her hands grabbed at his head to direct his mouth to hers so that she could plunge her tongue deeply into its recesses in a not so subtle hint at what she yearned for him to do.

He loosened his leather pants enough to free his burgeoning erection before he spread and lifted her legs to wrap around his waist, ramming his cock in her to the hilt without any preparation or warning. She had been so slick with her arousal that she needed no such preamble and greedily accepted him with a moan of pure satisfaction.

After several powerful strokes, he lifted her legs over his shoulders and nearly bent her in half as he moved forward to slide the cups of her bra underneath her breasts, providing him access to draw one rosy pink nipple into his mouth after the other. He sucked hungrily and then proceeded to give her biting kisses around each breast, soothing the sting of each bite with a few flicks of his tongue. Positioned like this, she felt him so deep inside of her that her pleasure was tempered with the hint of discomfort. It was oddly exhilarating, she thought as she reveled in the sensations he was producing inside and outside her body, the calculated juxtaposition of pleasure against pain which only magnified her enjoyment.

Pinned beneath him as she was, it was difficult to urge him to move with only a thrust of her pelvis, but she tried anyway hoping to spur him on to the relentless thrusts that drove her insane. He intuitively knew what she wanted and straightened himself, withdrawing almost completely before he grabbed her hips and slammed himself inside of her over and over again.

"God, yes!" she cried out, her fingers grabbing the edge of the table to give her something to hold onto for leverage. "Just like that."

He willingly obliged, impaling her with long, hard strokes, smiling triumphantly when she came apart so quickly beneath him, calling out his name along with a string of expletives and other unintelligible sounds.

Still shuddering from her climax, she breathed out, "Please don't stop. Don't. Ever. Stop." He had made her come so hard but instead of quelling her need, it only served to further ignite her lust as if such a thing were possible. All of her nerve endings seemed to be focused solely on where his skin and mouth were in current contact with her and, yet, she remained starved for his touch. He brushed his lips against her cheekbone, giving her the sensation of the softest velvet being dragged lightly across face.

In the short amount of time they had been associated with each other, Loki had become so attuned to her body that he instinctively knew how she would respond to every subtle shift in his movement. He knew how to give her sudden, explosive orgasms, how to coax those that built up slowly and powerfully, and he knew how to effortlessly give her every kind in between. He knew that when they were connected like this, her body was completely his to do with as he wished. But he yearned for so much more from her. She had found a way to bore under his skin and insert herself into every waking thought, and he desperately wanted confirmation that it was the same for her. His frustration over not knowing how she felt about him impelled him to drive himself even harder into her, letting her approving moans wash over him and suppressing his uncertainty.

The hard wood of the table was unyielding against Alex's back but she barely noticed any discomfort, so attuned to the spikes of pleasure traveling through her body with each movement he made. She could feel the chafing of the metal and leather rubbing against the skin beneath her legs as he drove harder and harder chasing his own pleasure. He was gripping her hips so tightly that she knew she would have bruises in the morning but didn't think to care. He poured himself into her as he came violently, never once breaking eye contact with her. She had wanted a hard fuck to make her forget the revelations from the night before but, instead, was astounded by the level of intimacy she felt in that moment as his gaze delved into her soul.

Much later, after he had taken her against every hard flat surface in her apartment, they finally found themselves in her bed. He had at some point during the evening flashed away his clothes and removed her bra and shoes as they now laid entwined in the darkness, warm supple skin against cool male hardness. Her cheek rested against his chest and he was stroking her her hair so gently, providing a stark contrast from the frenzied and raw coupling that had occurred only moments before.

She was physically exhausted, bones and muscle seeming melted and barely capable of movement, but she was not sleepy. She wasn't ready to let him go yet and didn't want the limited time they had with each other to be wasted in sleep.

"Tomorrow night I will have my way with you. And it will be agonizingly slow and prolonged so that I can fully savor you before we are parted," he declared, his voice rich with promise.

She turned her head slightly to kiss the skin near the flat disc of his nipple. "It's already tomorrow." She nestled back with her cheek against him and said softly, "I'll miss you when you're gone."

The room was lit with only the street lights that dimly illuminated the space from outside the windows. And with her face against his chest, she was unable to see the broad smile he made at her comment. "Is it me that you will miss or the things I do to you?" he asked with a hint of mirth.

"Both," she responded without missing a beat. "Since I can't have one without the other." Her head moved up and down with the vibration of his chest as he chuckled.

He kissed the top of her head and noted, "You're such a paradox, Alexandra. I find your behaviour endlessly intriguing."

"The whole booty call thing?" she asked. "I know. Do as I say, not as I do, I guess."

"You were insatiable," he observed.

"Completely crazed," she admitted. "I needed to clear my head from a mess of things. And when we're together, you make it hard to think about anything but you and what you're doing. Besides, I couldn't get you off of my mind since you were such a hot topic of conversation this evening."

His hand paused mid stroke in her hair. "I...I hope you don't mind, but I told Jane about us."

He released a breath that he had not realized he had been holding. "No. I am...relieved. It was causing me some anxiety trying to keep our liaison a secret from Jane and Thor."

"Well, I guess it's not so secret. Do you realize that while you're here in New York there are weekly reports from S.H.I.E.L.D. sent to Thor and Tony about your whereabouts and who you're with?"

"Yes," he admitted.

Alex sat up. "You knew all along?"

Loki gently pulled her back against him. "Yes, but I knew Jane and Thor weren't aware because Thor never reads those reports. There are few things he hates more than reading."

"But Tony's known all along," she was quick to point out.

"I imagine so."

"Can...can they hear everything we do?" she asked, cringing as the words came out of her mouth.

"I'm sure it's possible if that's what they wanted to do. I have no way to assure you of this, but I don't think they believe our conversations are worth monitoring. After a thorough investigation into your background, I would imagine they have surmised that our liaisons pose no threat to world peace."

"Even so, I don't know how I'm going to look Tony in the eye from now on. Not that I really interact with him much, but still. It's going to be so awkward."

"How did Jane seem with it?" Loki asked as he rolled her to her side and molded his form against her back.

Alex sighed contentedly, unable to hide her natural response to his limbs enveloping her. "Ecstatic," she admitted. "I think she's been longing for more female companionship. She's going to plan some sort of double date dinner thing when you and Thor are back."

He groaned. "Please tell me that she did not offer to cook."

Alex laughed. "I promise I'll help," she said reassuringly. "It will be fun." After a pause, she asked, "Are you looking forward to heading back to your home for a few weeks?"

"Yes and no," he replied. "I look forward to having my complete freedom ‒ to come and go as I please without a prison guard posing as a chauffeur. To having people treat me in a manner I've grown accustomed to ‒ with respect and deference. I look forward to my familiar surroundings. I don't look forward to the boredom and tedium of my responsibilities. I will miss Netflix. And seeing you."

She smiled against the darkness. "Will you miss me or the things I do to you?" she countered, playfully.

"Both. Because I can't have one without the other," he teased as he kissed the lobe of her ear. It tickled her and she reflexively raised her shoulder and turned her head to block any further attempts. When exactly had he become so affectionate, he wondered. He had witnessed similar acts exchanged between Jane and Thor and even with his mother and Odin but never once thought himself capable of such seemingly inane gestures. But everything had changed for him now and he found himself wanting to touch her constantly, even when there was no sex involved. His chest began to tighten as he thought about how it would feel to be away from her for two weeks.

"Speaking of Netflix, do you have anything like TV shows or movies on Asgard?" she asked out of curiosity.

"No. Only live forms of entertainment ‒ music, theater, sports."

Her interest was immediately piqued as she tried to imagine how he spent his days there. "How do you pass the time when you're not busy helping to govern or rule or whatever it is that you do all day?"

"Spend time with Thor, Sif, and the Warriors Three drinking and carousing. Listen to Thor lament over how much he misses Jane. Attend the theater. Hone my fighting skills. Read. Experiment and test the limits of the magic I still possess," he rattled off matter-of-factly.

"Do you ever go see him? Your father, I mean," Alex asked tentatively.

Loki paused. "Rarely. And only with Thor. I don't trust myself to be alone with him."

"What do you mean?" she prompted, fearing that Loki meant he would be unable to restrain himself from inflicting bodily harm on Odin.

"Alexandra, I assure you that if I wanted Odin dead, I could have easily done it by now. I've already killed the father I intended to kill. The one who abandoned me to die on some remote rock when I was just a mere infant."

Loki rolled onto his back, keeping his side in contact with her skin so that she didn't mistakenly infer any desire for separation. "I don't go to visit Odin alone because I just don't trust my emotional response. Sometimes I loathe him. Sometimes I don't. I worry more about what I might say should he wake up and there was no one else with me to hear."

She turned to face him and resumed her former position with her head on his chest. She placed her hand at where she thought she could feel his heart beat the strongest. "I know you feel so betrayed and hurt, but do you truly believe that he had no love for you?"

Loki was silent for a long while. "There are memories which are in direct conflict with the supposition that he didn't love me."

"Such as?" she prodded, reaching down and across for his hand and lacing her fingers with his.

Loki shifted uncomfortably. "We were seldom alone together. He was extremely busy as the Allfather and so much of my time with him was spent together with Thor. But there were a few moments when I was a young boy when it would be just the two of us. He would teach me things and would praise my intellect. I don't think he would have spared the time for me had he not cared," he revealed.

Alex gave his fingers a squeeze. "He had to have cared, Loki. He didn't have to raise you as a Prince of Asgard. He could have rescued you and given you to another family."

"Only Odin knows what his ulterior motives were. I should like to ask him someday." Releasing her hand, Loki began gently running his fingers through her hair, stopping occasionally to caress a stray silky curl. "So, what about you, Alexandra?" he queried.

"What about me?"

"I see a room full of pictures of your mother and only one that shows your father. Why is that?"

Alex noticeably stiffened. "It's not that interesting of a story. He was a great dad and then he wasn't. He was in and out of my life, and then he died when I was nine. Then it was just me and my Mom against the world, and now it's just me. The End." Her tone lacked emotion, Loki observed, which was so counter to what he had come to expect from her.

"How is that not an interesting story? Please tell me more about your father," he implored. "You ask me things I'd rather not think about and, yet, I tell you everything. Do you realize how few there are in all the Nine Realms who know this much about me?"

Alex remembered what Jane had said earlier in the evening regarding how meaningful it was for Loki to share anything of himself. How could she not reciprocate? Taking a deep inhalation of air, she began her story. "My parents fell madly in love with each other almost at first sight. They were both only children without any family, each having lost their parents in various ways while they were in their early twenties. I think they thought they were kindred spirits and meant to be together. So they got married within eight months of knowing each other. Not long enough to get past the infatuation stage, if you ask me.

Either my mother wasn't aware of his demons or she turned a blind eye to them because she thought he was so perfect in every other way. Regardless, he had a highly addictive personality. Not too long after I was born, he became a pretty high functioning alcoholic, able to hold down a steady job by day but blitzed out of his gourd by seven o'clock every night. It just got steadily worse and worse and they began fighting all the time."

Loki was deeply engrossed in her words and had stopped playing with her hair, not wanting to distract her in any way.

"Some of my earliest memories of my Dad are of him staggering around and falling into things because he was so drunk. He'd hide bottles all over the place because if my Mom ever found any alcohol, she would pour it down the sink. I guess at one point, I think I was three or four, he picked me up, lost his balance and fell into an armoire that ended up tipping and falling over us. I was hurt enough to be taken to the emergency room." She paused and took another deep breath in.

"God, I remember it so vividly still. I was so terrified. He was slurring and trying to hold me, but I didn't want him anywhere near me," she snorted in disdain. "I think by the line of questioning from the doctor and nurses at the hospital, my mother was scared to death that I would be removed from the home because it was an unsafe environment. It gave her the courage to finally give him an ultimatum. And that's when he chose the booze over us."

Alex rubbed a stray tear that had slipped down her cheek. She continued, "My Mom helped get him set up in a small apartment and told him that he wasn't allowed near me if he wasn't sober. I hardly ever saw him again because I guess he never was sober after that. His addiction consumed him to the point that he eventually lost his job, lost his apartment, lost all his friends. I think he ended up living out of his car. Anyway, one night, he wrapped that car around the trunk of a tree and died instantly. All I can say is, thank God that he didn't take anyone else out with him because it was just a matter of time."

"And your mother never remarried?" Loki asked.

"No. She loved him until the day she died. I guess they had one perfect year together and she just clung to that memory," Alex reflected.

When it was apparent that she had nothing further to say on the subject, Loki cleared his throat and remarked, "Thank you for sharing that with me. I am sorry that your own memories of your father were not happier. You deserve better than that."

"Well, I suppose he didn't leave me on a rock to die," she mused. "But he did choose having a relationship with a bottle over having a relationship with me, and it took me a very long time to get over that."

"And did you? Finally get over that?" he asked.

"I believe so. It's hard to talk about sometimes, but I don't dwell much on it."

"Well, aren't we the pair?" he proclaimed. "Abysmal excuses for fathers. Mothers who were beyond reproach but who were taken away from us too soon."

They lay in comfortable silence for a moment before she asked, "Do you regret killing your father?"

"Not even a little."

"What about all those other people? Do you have any regrets?" At this point, she felt as if she were allowed to ask him anything.

Loki took a moment to respond, choosing his words carefully. "Alexandra, do you want the truth or do you want some fabricated story that will make thing easier to hear?"

She felt an inexplicable pang of tenderness for him in that moment and pressed a kiss against his hand. "The truth. Always the truth."

Loki inhaled deeply and responded, "I feel regret but not in the manner you wish. Those people who died in Stuttgart and New York ‒ they didn't mean anything to me. Regardless of whether my mind was my own, I felt nothing for them. They were merely ants to crush beneath my boot. Do you have any idea as to how many beings I've killed in battle in order to keep peace in all the Realms? I've never been expected to feel remorse afterward."

"But these were innocent people," she pointed out.

"Alexandra, I fundamentally understand that these were people's children, mothers, fathers, brothers, sisters... But I didn't know any of them. I don't relish what I did and certainly wish I could go back and undo what's been done, but I don't feel the guilt you're hoping for. What I do feel is bitterness and anguish that my actions put me in a situation where I wasn't there to protect my mother. If I hadn't done any of it ‒- all those actions and the resulting series of events that led me to the Other and to the Chitauri ‒ she would still be very much alive. That is what I feel remorse over."

"Loki, you don't know that you could have prevented what happened to her."

"What I know is that because of my jealousy and blind obsession to prove myself worthy of the throne, I wasn't there for the one person who loved me unconditionally. That is my deepest regret and greatest sorrow. And it shall be until I no longer draw breath."

Alex felt her heart contract in pain at his words. "Not to diminish how you feel, but I think it's interesting that you paint this picture of you as being detached and uncaring; and, yet, haven't you on multiple occasions put yourself in harm's way in battle to protect your people? Didn't you step in to save Jane from getting sucked into God knows what when she was just someone you had barely met? Who's the paradox now?"

"I saved Jane because she was important to Thor, and I made him a promise to keep her safe," he sighed dismissively. "As for fighting for Asgard, that's just what any ruler would do for his people."

Alex sat up, "No, Loki. That's not true at all. There a plenty of rulers who wouldn't trade their own lives for those of their people. They have armies to do their fighting for them. As for what you did for Thor and Jane, I don't think you would keep any promise that you didn't sincerely want to. Promising to keep someone safe doesn't equate giving up your own life in return. Let's face it, while the empathy gene may have missed you completely, you really do put yourself out there for those you care about. And that's nothing to sneeze at," she concluded as she nestled herself against him once again.

She could not see him in the dark but she could practically feel him furrowing his brow. "I don't understand that expression," he remarked.

"It means it's meaningful; not to be dismissed," she explained.

"I think you are assigning far too great of an altruistic purpose to my actions. But if it is helpful to our...friendship, then I will not protest," he declared.

"Mmm...Good," she murmured. The lateness of the hour was finally taking its toll on her and she was having difficulty keeping her eyes open. As she drifted off to sleep, she thought she asked him to stay with her, but she couldn't be sure if it was the start of a dream.

The next morning, she awoke suddenly and noticed the clock on her nightstand displaying a time of 7:15 AM in angry red numbers. "Shit!" she exclaimed, as she realized she had forgotten to set her alarm.

Loki stretched languorously as he lay next to her and asked, "What's the matter?"

She jumped out of bed and ran to her dresser, tugging a drawer open and fumbling for a bra and panties. "I forgot to set my alarm. Now I'm going to be late for work." She rushed over to her closet to pull out a dress and coordinating sandals. If she quickly showered and threw her hair in a ponytail, she could be out the door in thirty minutes give or take. With the forty-five minute commute, which included the walk to and from the subway, she'd make it to Stark Tower just a bit before 9:00 AM and just under an hour late.

"You can ride with me," Loki offered. "That should save you at least a half hour."

"No!" Alex exclaimed a bit too forcefully. Loki raised his eyebrow at her abrupt tone. "Why don't you go on ahead with Agent Donovan," she recovered, sounding more matter-of-fact. "It seems silly for you to wait around for me while I get ready."

Loki kicked off the sheet that had been covering him and sat on the on the edge of the bed. He looked at her for a moment and then turned his gaze away, running his hands through his already disheveled hair. "Very well," he said, his tone cold. He had arranged his face into a mask of indifference, but she noticed what had been in his eyes before he looked away and it immediately brought on pangs of guilt.

"I just...You don't understand, I've got a routine I'm comfortable with," she tried to explain.

"Oh, I understand completely, Alexandra," he said, turning his face to stare at her as she stood in front of him clutching her dress and her underwear. "It's perfectly acceptable to invite the monster into your bed under the cover of night, but it's another thing to want to associate with him out where others might see." His tone was bitter this time but it was clearly anguish that was expressed in his eyes.

Her face fell. "Is that what you think? God, of course that's what you would think." She laid her clothes down on the bed and knelt in front of him. "I'm so sorry for making you feel that way. After everything I've said about not wanting to feel used... I am a complete tool."

She took his hands in hers and held them in his lap. "I do _not_ think you're a monster and I am not afraid to be seen in public with you. My best friend knows all about us, and I just came clean with Jane so that we wouldn't have to hide anything from the two people you care most about in this universe. But this is my work, Loki. And I'm not quite comfortable being open about the fact that we have a relationship in front of my co-workers. Yes, some will undoubtedly find out, but I have no desire to flaunt this right now and make a spectacle of you and I arriving to work together in your limo."

"Why? What's wrong with your coworkers knowing about us?"

"Because truth be told, if all those people knew, my decision making skills would be called into question. And I can't afford for them to start scrutinizing everything I do. Not to mention how humiliating it will be for me when you decide you're bored with this and move on. No one will think twice about your decision, but I will forever be known as the stupid girl who put out for you, and my reputation would be ruined. Please understand that my work is _all_ I have."

He looked into her eyes and tried his best to understand, but it her logic was frustratingly unclear to him. However, he sensed she was sincere in her apology and it had somehow lifted his spirit that she cared about how he felt. "Can Agent Donovan and I at least drop you off a block away from the entrance to keep you from being much later than you need to be?" he suggested.

"Yes," she replied with a smile as she pulled his hands to her lips. Rising, she took his hand and pulled him up with him. "I need to jump in the shower. Come join me?"

He smiled. "Knowing that the conservation of natural resources is important to you, this would certainly be the most efficient use of water," he replied, following her into the bathroom.


End file.
