Harry Potter In the Shadow of Dawn

Hey people. This is a story I wrote... maybe a year or so ago and wanted to share with you all. I am not sure if there is going to be more or not, but I guess in a way it could be an open ended one shot. Maybe if you like it enough I'll write more when I finish at least one of my other stories. I have a few others I should bring out as well, but this is the first. Sorry for those waiting on my other Harry Potter fics I have more for A New Life written I just need to type it so hopefully that'll be out soon :) so let me know if you like this.

Summary: Set in AU 7th year. Dumbledore alive, creature inheritance harry, non graphic mentions of abuse. Dark!harry.

Left with the Dursleys again for another painful summer Harry goes through some changes that give him reason to take his life into his own hands. He discovers things aren't going as well for him on the light side as he had thought and decides he can't take Dumbledores manipulations. So who will he be loyal to in the end.

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There is always something in the dark. Always something that people keeps hidden and doesn't want people to understand, but that was never the way that I liked things. I always preferred if people didn't keep anything from them even if I told nothing. My secrets aren't meant for everyone... or anyone apart from myself to know. Because my secrets could be the life or death of someone if they should find them and their meaning. I am not what people think me to be. They all wanted me to be their savior, but how could I do that when I am broken and bleeding. When nothing makes sense to me and nobody else can see the nightmares. nobody else can ever know what it is like to be me and I hope with all my being that the fates never make another live my life because that would be too cruel to bare. It is not something for the faint of heart.  
I was told by one of the only people that I trust, who shall remain unnamed in case this should fall into distasteful hands, that I should begin a journal. That it would help me be... well at the very least it would help give me some closure. And that is how I ended out here now with this notebook writing out everything that comes to mind. It is strange how it feels to tell all your troubles to the pages in a book, but there is a sense of relief as well. I am not the only one who knows this now.  
my uncle was never a nice man... he was downright horrible at the best of times, but I couldn't complain now could I. after all he was the only thing between me and the street, so I learned to keep my tongue still when I am around him, something that I don't seem to be able to do around certain potions masters. But that is the thing about motivation. I am determined to keep my mouth shut around my uncle because otherwise I would be beaten and thrown into the cupboard that used to be my room. While Professor Snape can only give me detention. The punishment for not keeping me silent isn't as threatening and... I have never had a chance to test my boundaries before, at least a chance that doesn't and cant end out with me broken and bleeding in a small dark and dusty cupboard.  
I guess it would be strange to say that I am claustrophobic, I mean I grew up in a cupboard for Circes sake, but there was never anything positive about the cupboard except it was the one place in the house that all of the Dursleys refused to go if they could help it. But I was too often in pain and bleeding in such a space that I couldn't not connect the pain and weakness to the dark and cramped space. Isn't it funny that all this time Voldemort has failed every attempt at taking my life, when all he had to do was lock me in a closet and attack me when I was at my weakest and couldn't fight back...  
but that isn't what the man wants. He wants... no he needs to prove that he is better than me and that is the only reason why I have survived so many encounters with him. Because he would never let any of the death eater touch me... because he wanted to do the job himself... because he wanted to once and for all rid the world of the false hope that they held on the shoulders of the boy-who-lived.

Sometimes I wish that the psycho would get over his pride and just let out and all-out attack on me so that I can die, but at least I would be able to go with honour like my parents... and Sirius... and Cederic... and too many others. I could die fighting against the evil under the bed and the monsters in the closet and I would be happy, but I could almost see the reality of everything. I could almost picture it in my head. one day I am going to die and it won't be at the hands of a man who has killed hundreds of those that he deemed not worthy of the blood that they possessed or that they had been born as normal muggles, no I would die in an unremarkable fashion at the hands of my uncle and most likely alone in my cold dark cupboard.  
I could almost laugh. I wonder what the wizarding world would think then, how they let their saviour go alone like that. Would they mourn me as I am, or would they mourn the loss of the boy who killed their dark lord? Would they remember me as the hero they want or as the sad little boy that was killed by his family. It is almost too ironic that while I fight to save the muggles that they turn their backs on me whenever they can. While I save them they find it soo easy to condemn me to that fate... maybe they aren't worth saving after all. would I be saved if I let Voldemort do what he wants, if I didn't get in his way would he leave me be, but I would ask one favour of the man (well snake man) I would leave him alone if he killed them. Painfully. So that they can feel the pain that they caused me for all those years, so that they could understand for a short time what it felt like to be so out of control and so weak, at the hands of another that could and would be more than willing to take their lives. I laugh at the thought and images of that very occurrence begin running through my head and instead of being disgusted I am enjoying the ideas, wanting them to pass.

Once again laying in my darkened cupboard I am battered and bleeding thinking of what I want to do to these disgusting creatures? That was when it happened. I didn't even know the date, but it was my birthday. My 17th birthday. And I was not unaware of what happens to wizards on their 17th, but I wasn't expecting the increase of magic to be so drastic. Something else happens on a magical child's 17th birthday. They come into their inheritance, magical, and physical. I can feel my body changing and growing. I guess I am coming into an inheritance that I didn't know about since I can't find any other explanation. My wounds heal leaving behind scars to add to my collection. I trace the white lines carefully staring in slight awe at the change. I can see in the cupboard. not much, but still I can see bits of the outlines, enough to know that there is some little amount of light creeping into the cupboard. Feeling strong and alive I break the door to the cupboard and leave the house taking all of my things with me.

I don't look back, there is nothing here for me and I want to get away as quickly as possible. I enter the night and it is exploding with life and colour. From navy blues to glowing yellow from the street lights. The sky is glowing with the light of the full moon and I stand at the end of the street and watch in awe at the glowing orb above. Nothing could compare with the sense of freedom that I felt at that moment. It was like I had been reborn into an entirely new person. After all these years of captivity I am finally free.

I wander wherever I want for the next couple of weeks, doing little and staying in the woods. I don't know where I am really, but once I had gotten away from private drive I ran faster than any human could ever see and when I stopped I was in a forest of sorts. It felt good to be surrounded by nature all around and that was where I discovered what I was. It wasn't that I consciously understood what I was doing at the time, but I let instinct take over and from there everything made sense. I had attacked a small group of muggles hiking and when I realised that they were unconscious I felt fangs, large fangs, extending from my gums and dripping in their blood. They weren't dead, but if I left them here they would be. The wounds were on their wrists and necks, but they had healed (the power of vampire saliva) so I created new wounds that wouldn't seal themselves and dropped them off where people would find them soon enough. After that moment I understood that I was a vampire, but I didn't worry. Vampires rarely killed their prey and only the first feeding was as controlling as that. From now on I would be in complete control over my urges and need to feed.

I enjoyed my time in the woods, but it couldn't last. I had to go to Hogwarts soon for my final year and I would have to get my things. I had gotten my letter the day I had left private drive so there was no way that anyone from the order would be able to trace me to where I am anyway. But I loathed the trip to Diagon alley. Too many people would be looking out for me there... so I placed a glamour charm over myself. It was just convenient that after my change I looked so different that people would have a hard time recognising me anyway. My untameable dark hair had become silky and straight, my tanned skin from hours working in the garden had turned ghostly white and my features had become sharper... more like my mother than my father if I had to say so. I liked it better than before as well.

I remember the essay we had to write on vampires in third year... right after professor Snape gave out the essay on were-wolves... maybe there was something more to that than there seemed. Maybe Remus was being spiteful... oh well the point is that I knew about vampires to know that there are a few perks and a few downsides. First downside is I need to be careful of bright sunlight because I will hurt my eyes and it will give me headaches, also I have sensitive hearing more so than a were wolves. This is both good and bad. It's good when I need to find out things I shouldn't, but bad when there are a lot of people around that it can be painful. These things I will get used to in time, but that doesn't mean that it will be easy... I wish it were. But there are more perks, the one I am most excited about is that vampires can fly... without brooms. It is something I have always wanted to do even when I was a small child I always dreamed of flying.

But my biggest problem at the moment is that I need to find an older vampire to teach me these things. I have an idea where I can find one, but that isn't saying that my suspicion is fool proof, but if I am correct than it could mean an alliance with a powerful vampire, not to mention that I would be on the first step to accomplishing my goal of the Dursleys destruction.

The trip to Diagon alley was a strange one, as short as the trip was. It was strange because although nobody knew that I am the boy who lived they all stared at me with just as much interest. I was surprised that the interest even reached as far as Draco Malfoy... although there seemed like there was something different about him when I tried to figure it out he was ushered away by his father who was in need to do something urgently. But the best part by far was in the bookshop flourish and blots that I met up with Luna Lovegood, who instantly knew who I was just like she always does in her little way and smiled. She spoke with me briefly where she dropped hints that she too would be coming into a vampire inheritance. That news made my day. She was more my sister than anybody else that I knew. Once Hermione would have had that place in my heart, but she was too consumed by what was happening to her and Ron to think about anyone else and Luna was always there for me when I needed her. She was the best little sister anyone could have.

After gathering all the things that I needed from Diagon alley (as well as a supply of blood pops from the candy shop) I spent the next two weeks in my forest spending the time as I wished and without anyone else dictating what I wanted. Because I knew that the times when I could be free were once again going to disappear when I went back to Hogwarts. Even though the castle was my home I didn't want to go back there, at least not while certain people were inside the wonderful castle. Reluctantly I found myself alone in a compartment on the Hogwarts express on September 1st shielding my eyes from the glare of the sun outside the curtains half closed, but still the light irritated my eyes. Damn I need to find a master to teach me these things. I didn't ward the door to the compartment, just hoped that Ron and Hermione would be too busy making out to realise that I wasn't sitting with them. They had sent several letters over the holidays, but I didn't really read them. not that I could while at p/d, but there was a few interesting points that they managed to slip up and tell me, the most damaging is telling me that they had been accepted as members of the Order. Dumbledore was always telling me that I was too young and not ready for these things, but if he would allow those two into the Order and not me, who is better than them at almost everything although I don't let them know that, then the old man is planning something that he doesn't want me to know about. But I think I can safely say that the old goat didn't know about me being a vamp. If he did then he would be planning a way to supress the vampiric traits and... Well I already know he doesn't want me to live through the war, and if I do it would be right back to the Dursleys with no protective wards this time and no warning to my relatives about keeping me safe. They would kill me if Voldemort and his death eaters didn't.

I was quite pleased that when the door to the compartment opened Luna's head popped in. she came and sat down smiling wistfully and dragging a very confused Draco Malfoy. Without his body guards present the boy looked almost normal, but with a dignified air about him that I liked. He seemed so... natural not hiding behind the mask of Slytherins Ice Prince.

'What am I doing here potter?' he growled out

'I don't really know, Luna brought you here and whatever Luna wants, Luna gets.' I say. The blond boy gave her a look of... I don't know it seemed like a mixture of disgust and amusement, but I couldn't really tell.

'Sorry honey, but I don't swing that way.' he said honestly smirking in open amusement.

'I know.' is all she replies. 'Don't worry though, you are going to be my best friend... well apart from my brother that is.' she added making sure that I am not alone again. So long have I been alone, even when Ron and Hermione were there for me, truly there for me, they were fighting too often for me to feel anything else. If they could fight like that while I needed them how could they have ever truly wanted to be around me? I got over so many things for them, but they couldn't even do that for me.

'Too long alone.' is all that I say when the pair looks at me and my faraway look.

'Hey potter, your looks have changed, what's up with that?'

'The outside is now a reflection of what was always inside to begin with.' Luna says cutting across Draco.

'You heard the lady.' is all I say smirking at the confused expression on his face.

We spent the rest of the train ride in companionable silence, not needing to say anything even though I was still slightly shocked at Luna bringing him here or declaring that they were going to be friends. Draco was one of the many people who had called her 'Loony' Lovegood after all and Luna was not one to forgive easily. But then again people change, people always change no matter how much others want them to stay the same there is nothing that you can do because that is human nature.

Getting off the train I walk with my companions to the carriages and once again see the threstles, but this time they are not as repulsive to me as they had been before. They looked no different it is just that the appearance no longer bothered me nor the reason that I could see the creatures. I even petted them before entering the carriage.

'What was that?' Draco asked

'I was petting the threstles, they are creatures that can only be seen by one who has watched another die, watched the light leave their eyes. They draw the carriages to the school like horses, but they are winged creatures... I guess they are disturbingly beautiful.' I explain to the blond boy who had decided against taking Care of Magical Creatures.

'They let things like that in the school?' he asked his voice raising a pitch or two.

'No, they live in the forbidden forest and only come near the school at the beginning of the year.' he seems to calm slightly at the information and was satisfied that they weren't going to attack him... I guess this must be a good example of fear of the unseen... too soon though we were at the castle and forced to separate and head to our house tables. As I sit at the Gryffindor table I sense the presence of an adult vampire that could teach me. looking up to sense where it lead to I saw the pale face of Severus Snape once again, but this time I saw the straight hair and the curiously long fangs behind his lip as he spoke to Professor Sprout about planting potions ingredients that he could use during the year. All of these things would be missed if you didn't know what to look for and possessed the ability of acute sight that another vampire possessed. I knew who I needed to be my teacher, but how would I get him to agree to teach the son of his greatest enemy. Turning back around before the man could see me staring and take it the wrong way.

the room filled with people from all houses, the noise increasing every second as friends update each other on their holidays, but I sit alone hoping for the chance to not speak at all, which is unfortunate because all too soon I was attacked and forced into a hug with Hermione (Ron standing to the side being too manly to hug his 'best mate' and instead patted me on the shoulder)

'Where were you harry, we thought maybe you'd missed the train again when you never showed up. You had us really worried.' she gushed but I could tell the lie. It stunk the air and her eyes twitched slightly as she spoke. I wonder why I used to believe everything she said when her markers were so obvious... she wouldn't make a good spy.

'I was on the train; I just ended up falling asleep in an empty compartment.' I lied; a lot better than the pair of them did at least my lie was believable. It was all too obvious from the looks of the pair of them that they had been making out not too long ago and hadn't seemed to notice that it was visible.

'Well you should have come and found us instead.' she scolded acting all motherly. Honestly it made me want to be sick. What right did she have to declare herself my mother and tell me what to do? I have never had a mother, Mrs Weasley is nice and all, but she was never there when I needed the type of comfort that only a mother could give... she wasn't right for my mother either. She is much too clingy and controlling. I need a mother who can be strict, but not obsessive and who knows when to let go and let me do what I need to. But where would I be able to find a mother figure like that when the only mothers I have come into contact with are Mrs Weasley and Petunia.

'Harry is you even listening?' she practically screeches at me.

'No' I reply being honest

She begins ranting about the importance of listening, but I have tuned her out in favour of thinking of ways to get Severus to teach me more about being a vampire and working out my abilities. during her speech that I wasn't listening to Dumbledore silenced the hall by standing, which unfortunately for her Hermione wasn't paying attention to and continued ranting very loudly drawing the attention of the whole hall. she finally stopped turning a beat red as Dumbledore spoke amused at her 'I believe that should be all miss granger, I believe that Mr Potter is sufficiently scolded, let us continue..." he then spoke as he usually did about the school and being a role model to the younger classes especially the first years who are currently waiting outside of the hall.

The sorting was surprisingly small this year with just over 25 students. It's no wonder that the wizarding world would be worried over their survival when there are so few magical children around... I wonder why they don't just have more children, but I guess there must be a reason.

By the end of the feast I noticed that I wasn't in the slightest bit tired, in fact I felt as though I had just woken up. Maybe it's because I have just eaten, although I don't think I will be doing that often. The food tasted like dust and left a horrible sensation in my mouth. when I reached the dorms I dug through my trunk for one of my blood pops and sucked on it for a while hoping that Ron wouldn't notice or that he at least wouldn't ask for one, because I doubt that he would like it and it would make him suspect something.

The night was one of the longest I have ever faced. First the boys spent hours talking about their holidays and then when they had finally fallen asleep they kept on waking before I could get out of the room. So I was subjected to a night spent in my bed thinking about what I am going to say to Severus to get him to help me... I could attempt to blackmail him, but the chances of finding blackmail material are slim to none so that choice is out. he is unlikely to help me out of the goodness of his heart so what could I offer him that he would need enough to get over his hatred of me... by the end of the night I had a plan, but there were some missing links that I needed to work through before I could action my plan.  
By the time morning had arrived I had a well thought out plan I just needed a chance to talk to Severus without people becoming suspicious, and I already have an idea on how to do that. The first class of the day was transfiguration. We began the lesson talking about animagus. At the end of last year I had already begun the steps on becoming an animagus but there was still more to it that I needed to work on before I could begin training myself on transforming. So the lesson was nice enough ignoring Ron and Hermione while I took notes on the transformation process.  
'Now as there are so few people that can actually preform the transformation I am not going to give lessons on them in class, but come to me after class sometime if you believe that you can manage it and we will take a test to see if you can make the transformation. I will give special lessons to those people who are able to transform. no extra points will be given for a completed animagus transformation because that would give an unfair advantage to those who can't.' professor McGonagall said at the end of the class.  
'this is so cool I have always wanted to be an animagus, since third year when we found out about black being one.' said Hermione and Ron was quick to agree with her listing any and all of the animals that he wanted to change into hoping that his form would be something big and cool like a lion. I didn't bother correcting him that he could only change into one animal if any and that the chances of him being an animagus are quite slim when no-one else in his family have been able to or have never tried the transformation before. Right after class the annoying duo went straight to McGonagall, but I didn't stick around preferring people not to know that I was attempting the animagus transformation, it would be safer that way especially when I am not settled on what side of the war that I want to be on. Now that I am considered a dark creature maybe I should stick with my own kind, or better yet watch the two sides kill each other off and then I would be left alone in peace... NOT.  
There is no way that I could declare myself neutral in this war, there is too much bad blood that one side wants to kill me and the other control me, then kill me. There is no way for me to win this way so I have to make a change. Does something that will in the end make it better for me and that will lead me to happiness. and let me put it this way there is no way that Dumbledore is ever going to let me be happy so that only leaves me with one option.  
The classes went on and this year I had changed with assistance from my head of house I was allowed to take anthrimancy, ancient runes, COMC, advanced DADA, charms, potions and herbology. I had dropped form divination and decided it was time to take classes that will actually do me good. I had read through the theory and gotten some help from a few Ravenclaws last year so when I took the test to get into the class I passed with 100%. I was a little smug that nobody else knew about my class changes so when Ron came yelling at me for skipping divination and leaving him alone with the creepy Trelawney I explained that I didn't skip class, I just wasn't taking that one anymore. He practically burst a blood vessel while yelling at me, but I had tuned him out while completing my homework.

It wasn't until Wednesday that I had my first potions lesson. while there was nothing of interest that happened during the lesson the man gave another speech like he had done at the beginning of first year, where he explained he expected nothing less than perfect potions from all of his students this year and any less than that will get us kicked out of the classroom and asked not to return... or worse. Hermione was glaring at the man and muttering under her breath about her potions always being perfect, but I understood the reason for the warning this time. The potions that we are making are extremely volatile and if not done perfectly could explode and cause and accident. because of this if we are scared into thinking twice about what we are putting into a potion than we might be able to avoid that disaster and potentially also do better on the exam at the end of the year, because I have to say there is no examiner on this earth that can be more intimidating than Severus Snape. The exam will be a holiday compared to classes. I almost laugh at the irony, but restrain myself. its days like these wearing my masks that I understand why the sorting hat wanted to put me in Slytherin... sometimes I almost wish that it had, but that would be opening a whole can of worms for the media that I am not keen on letting them have... yet.  
As much as I wanted my teacher I couldn't rush things so I spent this lesson being the perfect student and didn't even get a second glance from Severus. He instead decided to hassle Hermione and other Gryffindor's. I sigh at how stupid some of my house mates can be, but I don't say anything in their defence. This class is calming to me actually. It's strange for years I loathed potions, but right now I was finding calm in the movements of making the potion. Making sure the number of rotations is correct and that there isn't anything dangerous brewing in the stone caldron. And the thick sent of the ingredients is masking any other sent that the students might be carrying so I am not forced into knowing who is sleeping with whom and when they lasted bathed, or even what people are feeling. Most emotions leave a scent on the body and over the past few days I have been able to work out which is which through instinct and guess work... my guesses seem to be correct most of the time so I am confident in my assumptions. it is a relief to for a time not be burdened with this information, maybe that is why Severus likes brewing so much... but then again he has loved to brew since before he came into his inheritance, so I guess that theory is incorrect... oh well can't be right all of the time.  
By the end of class I had made a perfect animagus potion. It reveals those that have the potential to complete the transformation. He explains briefly that my head of house was asking for a supply of this potion because of her 7th year transfiguration class and decided that he would get us to make it for him since it isn't that difficult a potion. Bottling the potions he allowed those with well brewed potions to take one vial each of our own brew so that we don't have to bother the head of house any further and only those with the potential will have to go to the woman. Hermione was exited but wanted to go to the ROR and take the potion all together so that we can make sure that we can all make the change. Since I was dragged right from the class I conjured an empty vial and added a fake coloured liquid that looks like the potion. It would have no reaction to me drinking it so I will be able to hide that I have already taken the potion and know that I can complete the transformation. We pick up Ron on the way she explains what happened in the potion lesson and how she managed to get another vial without the dark potions professor noticing her take it, which I highly doubt, and that they were going to take the potion together... I tuned it out while they got very excited.  
'Let's take it I want to know as soon as possible' I say acting all nervous about it, but I am cringing at the looks of annoyance that I receive. I obviously interrupted one of her lectures about patience or something but when Ron grabbed the extra phial we all counted to three before taking the potion (while I took some of the vile liquid filling my container) after a few moments when nothing happened there was a wave of disappointment until there was a faint glimmer of light from Ron. I was shocked, but almost laughed at how dull his light was. the brighter the light the bigger and stronger your transformation will be, even if you are a small animal by nature the stronger one is the bigger their animal becomes, but this light is barely there meaning whatever animal he is he's going to be tiny. He could be an elephant, but he would still only be a foot tall. Maybe he is a bug like Rita skeeter? I almost laughed out loud at that image.  
I tune back into what is happening and notice Hermione is ranting about not making the potion properly because there is no way that she couldn't do this, she could do everything and this would be no different. But Ron, not listening to his girlfriend is positively glowing. he is saying things like 'who would have thought it would be me and not you harry, I mean being the boy who lived and all people would think you could do something like this, but I guess one person can't do everything.' in a very boastful manner annoying me slightly until I feel like laughing in his face at how wrong he is.  
By the end of the day the carrot haired boy had told everyone that he was signing up for the animagus training and making sure that everyone could hear him. I sat next to Neville for the rest of the day talking about herbology. It really was helpful to have a friend like Nev. he was always looking out for you and it felt nice to have a true friend for once. I felt closer to the clumsy boy than I ever had with the others. we shared similar lives, though his nowhere near as bad as mine, he had lost his parents at the same age as me and his grandmother was always putting him down for not being more like his parents. She had gotten better after a strict talking to by harry, who she respected more than many other people including Dumbledore, but the damage had been done and the boy had the worst self-esteem because of it.  
The rest of the week passed in much the same manner, and my plan was coming closer to being put into effect.

By the end of the first month at Hogwarts I had achieved top marks in every subject, even getting better scores than Hermione most of the time and getting equal scores to her other times. I had easily achieved the top spot among the students and rather than being resentful of it the other students kept saying things like 'about time' and 'always knew you had it in your mate' even Luna added in her unique wisdom to the situation stating 'it's good that you aren't holding yourself back anymore' funnily enough all of the comments just annoyed Hermione who was studying more and more reverting to that state she had been in in third year. she often glares at me during class and although I never answer many questions she seems to think that only she is allowed to do so... although those glares might have come from me adding onto several answers when she hadn't fully explained the concepts, or that she had used terms that the other students couldn't understand and made it difficult for people to follow what she was saying.  
It amused me that she seemed to think that this was a competition. I never wanted to make any kind of tension between us but she seemed determined to get her place back as the top of all her classes, although she had already admitted that she couldn't beat me in DADA she didn't think that I could have beaten her in anything else. It was almost funny to watch her struggle. by the end of the second month back at school, just before the Halloween feast, she found out that Draco had done what he had threatened since first year and had overtaken her but was still only in second place. He seemed to strut along the corridors more high and mighty these days. I think his father is happy that he is no longer being beaten by a mudblood. Not using the term to disrespect people born to muggles, but she is certainly acting like someone with filthy blood and I have no hesitation stating that she is such.  
The feast is extravagant as always, but that isn't what catches my attention, it is time to put my plan into action. October 31st is always a day for change in my life. It is the day when everything becomes clear. I will no longer be a weapon or a puppet. I will become my own and I will make my choices. And at this moment I have chosen that sometimes it is better to be dark with light tendencies than light with dark. There is more grey area than most people realize and they seem to always think that their icons of light are saints when they have been a part of the killing as well. When they have become as tainted as the dark people need to question who really wins when people become so consumed by their opponent that they no longer are what or who they were at the beginning. They change and there is nothing that can be done, you just need to think before you begin and ask yourself 'is it worth it in the end?' was it worth my childhood? Was it worth my innocence that they could raise a weapon that would fight without question for the cause that THEY wanted? That I would do what they asked me without thinking because they saved me from hell. A hell they put me in in the first place.  
I wonder how many people knew, but that is a thought for another time. People are cheering in the hall playing around and enjoying themselves while I think about the night. This night. It is the very same that my parents died. That I died. At least on the inside. Maybe though this course I can be reborn, but for now I am dead and need a teacher to help me live again.  
I follow the dark potions master though the hall ways at the end of the feast. The celebrations are still going on but there is nothing in that hall that could keep me away from this, away from getting my master.  
'You should stop that and come out now.' Severus says to what people would think is an empty corridor. 'I have no patients for fledglings that can't obey orders' he adds in a growl.  
I step away from the shadows and in all my vampiric glory watch the look on the stoic man's face turn to that of pure shock. 'I have need of assistance' I begin speaking thinking it would be better to just get right to the point.  
'_You_ are the fledgling that I have sensed?' I nod my head at the question.  
'Yes I came into this inheritance during the holidays, on my birthday. But I am in need of a master. I know a little about vampires from DADA classes and I had already suspected that you bore the condition.'  
He raised an eyebrow 'oh and how did you work this out?'  
'In third year after you set the werewolf essay. Lupin wasn't happy about that and although he said we didn't have to do it set us another essay that was beyond what we had gotten to in the books, he set us an essay on vampires. Obviously there are rumours, but how could there not be with the way that you act, so all I had to do was piece the information together. I didn't know for certain until the beginning of this year when I could sense the vampire in you.'  
'and so you want me to take you as a fledgling and teach you the ways of our kind?' he drawled with an eyebrow raised obviously over his initial shock.  
'Of course I am not asking you to do this for free. I have a couple of things that I believe you could find useful.' I smirk at the curiosity on the man's face  
'and what could you have that I would want?'  
'How about a basilisk? A whole one preserved in the depths of the COS not to mention she had nestlings. Nestlings mean eggs and egg shells.' I smirk at the sudden light in his eyes. He truly was a potions master before anything else.  
'but I am a death eater spy; I can't be seen as the mentor of the icon of light.' he declared resigned.  
'Do you honestly think I would still be backing Dumbledore after everything that he has done? After all of the lies and the manipulations!' I growl 'he doesn't know about my condition, but the second that he does what do you think that he will do to me? He will either kill me or attempt to seal the darkness or something. There is nothing that I want from that man and nothing that I am willing to give him. I want an audience with your master. From now on harry potter is siding with the dark.' I tell the startled man. In a moment he regains himself and a smirk begins to spread across his features  
'oh? The all mighty harry potter, hero of the light wants to join the dark side, wants to become one of the evil creatures in the closet of young children?'

'Dumbledore has gone too far... there is nothing he won't allow so that he can have the perfect obedient weapon. I have taken enough of this shit, I just want it to end and the best way to do this will be an audience with Voldemort. If he kills me the light will lose. Either way if he accepts my ideas he will win. I am no longer going to fight a battle I don't believe in.'

The man looks confused, but slightly pleased and after a while of thought he agrees to be my master.

'We will begin training after your audience with the dark lord. I am not going to waste my time on a youngling that isn't going to live through the week. Should you survive the meeting then we will begin your training.'

I smirk at the typical answer from the man. There is something about his comments that bites, but there is also something about them that is incredibly comforting... I think that is just something unique to the man, but it almost makes me laugh that no matter how much of a bastard the man seems that there is still so much about him that is kind and most of his yelling and putting people down is because he is trying to help them in his own way. I think that he is especially attached to Neville.

I think on it while making my way back to the dorms. Nev is so much stronger now than the bumbling boy he had been in first year. Even all the way up to third year. in fifth he really became a man when he came to the DOMs with the rest of the DA members, but there was always the signs that he was becoming more of a man than we thought he was... like when he took on Crabbe and Goyle single handed in first year... and a lot of that has to do with Sev. I mean who would think someone is scary when they have had the evil potions professor yelling at you almost every lesson.

Yep I really think that there is more to the potions master than meets the eye.

Sneaking through the shadows of the dorm I get myself into bed without anyone noticing me. Students really don't see what they don't want to. If someone had thought about me or where I was they would have been able to see through the illusion, but I guess they are just as thick as they look.

Several days passed and I didn't hear anything more from Severus about the meeting between me and the dark lord, but there wasn't anything to worry about. I knew the time was coming close when Luna came up to me and said she wanted to attend as well. I always knew she was a seer. She said that there would be a time when my true friends would be joining me as well, but that I would have to wait a while before that would happen. So for now I could cope with just me and Luna. It was nice to be a part of a duo again, and this time there is true loyalty involved.

Luna was the sister that I never had the chance to have. She is everything that a true sister should be, not to mention she is going to come into a vampire inheritance as well, that just makes it all the better. She can be with me forever and when she finds her mate they can join in our little family.

Like Luna predicted that night Severus came to me and told me that the lord would speak with me, so long as he was allowed several of his loyal inner circle death eaters to attend. I agreed and grabbed Luna before activating the portkey that the man had given me. This could, for all I know, be a trap but I had to try... I had to give this a chance and if nothing else I will die and the light will be without their saviour.

The pulling of the portkey is as annoying and uncomfortable as it had been when I was still human, I even landed flat on my face almost dragging Luna along with me. We are in a small room, similar to that of an office only the desk is replaced by a cage and the bookshelves are full of books written in parselscript. I was surrounded by at least eight people and not too long after arriving Severus enters as well. the other people are Bellatrix, Lucius, Narcissa, Rebastian, Rodolfus, Firinir, Draco (I wonder why he was called out of school) and of course Voldemort, but he doesn't look like he used to with the snake features and no nose, but more like he would have if he had aged normally from the teenage Tom Riddle that I had met in second year. He looks about 30 years old with dark brown hair and flecks of ice blue in his still red eyes. Over all even I have to admit that he looks attractive, not my type (not to mention too old) but attractive none the less.

'So potter I have heard some interesting news about you, would you like to explain to my loyal followers why you have called us here?'

I grin at the open invitation to tell the group about what I want.

'But master...' Bellatrix begins 'why should Severus be here... he is the headmasters dog, we've always known that. He only obeys the headmaster...' she speaks through her insanity

'Severus has always been loyal to the cause. He even had the muggleborn Lily Evans on our side before she was taken away by that Potter, but that is different we are talking about Harry and who are you?' he asked finally noticing that Luna is standing beside me.

'Hello Tom. I am Luna. Luna Lovegood.' she speaks in her wistful tone.

'I am here to join your side tom. I refuse to be marked as a death eater, but I will offer to you my abilities.'

'And what makes you want such a change potter. You have all the admirers as you need on the light side, why would you risk your life to change.'

'Because I can't live with their lies and empty promises any more. They planned to kill me you know, once id done my duty and killed you.'

'So you're upset and betrayed by those on the light?' Tom mocked 'they fibbed and now you're running away from home?' the death eaters laugh 'but the question is do you have the stomach for the dark harry?'

the inner circle are silent while tom stares me down, his blood red eyes attempting to break into my mind, but I manage to look away before he has the chance to really see anything.

'I refuse to be a tool; I won't be used like that. I have suffered at the hands of that man and now I am offering to side with you. I won't be marked but I will be your equal. I will stand and fight for your cause. I could be a very valuable ally. I only ask one thing of you.'

Tom raised one eyebrow and paused in his pacing to listen to me 'oh, do you want me to spare you little foul blooded friends, or is it your muggle family?' The patronizing smirk makes me simply smile evilly. I watched with deep satisfaction the stillness that settled into the lord's face as he watched me.

'Oh quite the opposite I assure you. My one request is that you kill the pathetic creatures that I have lived with for too many years.'

The whole room became still with shock. It was almost like standing in a picture. The only sign that it was real life would have been the trees moving from the trees and the gentle breeze that I could feel on my exposed arms.

Bellatrix was the first to break the silence 'why would potty want us to hurt the muggles?' she cooed from her seat nearest to their lord

'Those muggles are truly the worst kind of humans to have existed. I truly believe that no one would bother mourning their passing. Least of all me. They raised me by the simple fact that I happened to have passed my youngest years of life in their house. My cousin Dudley is a fat whale of a boy, his father is more round than tall and yet I am borderline emaciated. They were quite well off and never bought me my own clothes or anything really I had to wear my cousins cast offs which are all at least 7 sizes too big if not more. They have always hated me, so they use any excuse to justify that hatred. Dudley does badly in school, it's somehow my fault. Dudley's still hungry after dinner it's my fault to managing to eat almost half a normal portion when he's eaten at least four. Dudley tells them I broke something of his well we can't have that can we. Must use the belt, the boy is so stupid he won't learn any other way.' I hiss on the edge of speaking in the snake tongue.

'So potter you are complaining that your uncle bent you over his knee for some discipline?' Lucius commented with his usual sneer, but I just laugh bitterly

'Nonono lord Malfoy, normal children get bent over a knee. I am the FREAK and they let me know it. I don't get a little spanking. I get beaten until I am bleeding. The only lesson that those people taught me is that I am a freak, they went so far as to carve their lesson into my skin.' I bare one of my arms that is forever scarred with the names that they had called me.

'And what makes you think, potter, that we would be any more kind to you.' Tom smirks

I laugh hard 'because you know. You know what this does to a person. And because you know there will always be that thought in your head, could he be brought to your side. Without me the light will crumble and fall, but how much would you lose on your way to victory? I bring information that would make your win so simple.'

There was silence as the whole circle thought what could be so desired that I could possess.

'I know what the old fool is planning. He knows about your horcruxs and is hunting them down; some of them have already been destroyed. The diary, the ring, he knows about the locket but someone else found it first. We're not sure if it was destroyed or not.'

The dark lord paced a little hissing lowly in parseltonuge so quiet I couldn't hear what he said, but nobody in the room was unaware of the meaning.

'So you have information. Useful though it was I doubt it will be enough to save your life.'

'That may be true, but whoever said that information was what I was bargaining my life on?'

Luna giggled making herself known for the first time 'my brother speaks the truth. There is much that can be gained by an alliance.'

Wands were pointed at the girl but she made no move.

'Little tom, the one with the power to defeat the dark lord, born to those who have thrice defied him,

The one with the power to defeat the dark lord shall be born as the seventh month dies.

And he shall be marked as his equal.' silence and shock spread through those who know of the prophecy

'of the prophecy that was spoken that is all that is true, there is always a choice in life you know and since the ball has shattered you are even more free to defy what has been written. Maybe in another life it would have been more binding, but you have deviated from that path.' she speaks her tone the same one she always uses, but her eyes are clear and focused.

'You are a seer.' it is a statement not requiring or receiving an answer.

Again there was more silence before Tom spoke again shocking his underlings.

'Okay potter, you have a deal.' he reaches his hand out and we make our pact in magic. There are no words and no vow. It is not as binding but it is a promise to ourselves to do our best by the other so long as the situation admits it.

'My information is to your continued quest. Your reason for Horcruxs' is to escape death, but your vessels are even too weak. They cannot defend against attackers even with all their charms and dark arts, but one vessel is more than that. If you were to reconstruct your soul, build it back together you could become even stronger, have only one horcruxs.'

'Which of my horcruxs' is so safe then?' Tom asks raising one eyebrow.

I laugh bitterly 'It's funny that you don't know, that you never realised. You one Horcruxs that is truly safe is the one inside of my own head.'

The assembled Death Eaters were shocked and even tom looked like he wanted to plant his jaw in the ground.

'But you could die, how is it so safe with you?' Bella asks her face clear of the insanity it usually possessed.

'That is one of the few perks I am told of being a vampire.' I smirk wide enough that they can all see my fangs.

There is a foreboding stillness as the assembled group stare at the golden boy who has gone so far off his destined path. Tom begins laughing truly amused by the situation.

'So my soul is safe inside of you… That is quite reassuring.' The man smirked. 'Potter, I believe we will get along quite well after all.'

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So let me know what you think and if I should do more for it. I would love to hear what you think and it will help to know if I should do more work on it or not.


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