X/1999 1. Chapter 1

_Author's Note: How do you emotionally react to finding the guy you loved who killed your sister and forced you to kill him reincarnated as a small sociopathic child. It CAN'T be as simple as "Yay! Seishirou, you're back!" _

_I've actually been thinking about writing this for a long time and started it months ago. And then I foolishly forgot about it. ^^; So when I found it among my documents I thought I'd try to finish the first chapter and actually bother putting it up... I've actually seen this premise in a fanfic before, but as I recall, Subaru met Seishirou as more of an adult and I kinda felt like more could have been done with a younger Seishirou (because sociopathic children are so interesting to write...). _

_The title, in case you didn't recognize it, is a quote from Tokyo Babylon. After placing the bet, Seishirou says to Subaru "So today I'll let you go."  
_

_As a final note before I shut up and let you read the story, Seishirou means something along the lines of "son of the stars" and Seito means something like "little star" (I don't remember the exact meanings anymore- I looked it up a while back. ^^;) The reason I decided to have the name change is because I wanted a simple way to distinguish between the two and because while they are the same soul, they are different people._

_That in mind, I present to you: So Today I'll Let You Go: Chapter 1  
_

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The spirit that had plagued the area was yet another victim of the disaster that had taken place eight years before. Caught beneath the rubble when the bridge collapsed, it taken her two days to die. The rescue crews never heard her cries for help and she had slowly suffocated to death.

Job security was the last thing Subaru had to worry about these days.

He stayed on his knees for a few more moments, trying to push away the memories and the nagging voice reminding him that it was his own fault that girl had died. He tried to imagine what it would be like, breathing in stale and dusty air for hour after hour, knowing no one could hear you scream. And that was while you could still scream. Eventually you wouldn't have enough oxygen to be able to do so and you would be silenced by your own physical limitations, your own body would quit on you and betray you, shutting down in an agonizingly slow fashion until the only screams left were the ones in your mind and even that eventually would get too tired to bother. Then you would become silent, and that, Subaru found he had no trouble whatsoever imagining.

At last the woman who had hired him gently laid a hand on his shoulder.

"Would you like to come back to the office for some tea?" she asked warmly.

Subaru knew she couldn't have seen the spirit and wondered at the sympathy in her eyes. "No, thank you, Suzume-san. I don't want to trouble you."

"It's no trouble and you look exhausted. It's the least I can do to thank you."

Subaru was sure he did look tired. He couldn't remember the last time he had gotten more than about two hours of sleep at a time. It was even harder to recall the last time he had wanted more sleep than that. He followed her back indoors, barely noticing the shift from the chill autumn air to the heated lobby.

Suzume had her own private office with comfortably plush chairs and a wide variety of verdant plants. Subaru wondered at them, surprised that they were all real and appeared to be well-taken care of. He could sense that these plants were well loved and suspected from the woman's demeanor toward them that it wasn't by a hired caretaker. While she prepared the tea, Subaru found his eyes drawn to a photograph on her desk of the woman herself sitting under tree, hugging a little boy close and laughing gaily as the wind blew her hair across her face.

"Your son?" he asked, nodding to the photograph as she handed him the tea.

"Oh my nephew, Sei-chan." She smiled fondly at the picture. "I always wanted children but could not have them. My sister died not long after he was born and so I took him in… Are you alright?" she paused, her eyebrows drawn together in concern and Subaru realized he had jerked at the name.

"Yes, sorry, you were saying?"

She studied him sadly. "Forgive me for prying but your job, it must be taking quite a toll on you."

Subaru shrugged. The disasters that had led up to the promised day in 1999 had left quite a few souls in distress as so many died before their time. Parts of Tokyo were still in shambles and who knew how many more years it would take to rebuild large sections of the city that had crumbled in a day thanks to the Dragons of Earth. Then again, the only reason any of Tokyo, and in fact the rest of the world, was still standing was thanks to Kamui and almost no one else alive knew that. The greatest burden, he reflected, was not in having to deal with the souls left behind; it was in having to carry the memories of why they were still there.

"It keeps me busy." He answered simply.

"You're the kind of person who gives too much of yourself to help others aren't you?"

He wanted to protest, to explain that there wasn't really anything left to give but instead he just shrugged again.

"It seems like those born with powers are always given an unfair burden." Subaru noticed her gaze fall on the photograph again. "My sister was able to use some magic. Not much, nothing like yours mind you." Suzume hastily added. "But I still wonder sometimes if that's why…" She trailed off, sadness clouding her eyes. "I've begun to wonder if Sei-chan has inherited it too."

"How old is he? He looks about three or so…"

"Oh this picture is a few years old. He'll be eight in January." She rummaged through her drawer top drawer. "This is a recent picture." She produced a small framed photograph of the same boy with slightly more developed features and longer limbs but what stood out most to Subaru was the boy's smile. For a moment he couldn't tear his eyes away from that cold, sarcastic smile that looked so out of place on such a young child but when he did look away it was to look at the boy's eyes. They were the same deep amber color as the woman's but where hers were warm and inviting, the boy's were cold and calculating. It was like watching a small hawk; despite his obvious youth, there was something distinctly predatory about the child.

"When you say 'Sei-chan'…" Subaru fought to keep his voice even.

"Oh it's short for Seito, sorry. My sister loved stars. I think it began with our grandmother telling us the story of Tanabata every year when we were little." She smiled, lost in fond memories.

"Why not put this picture up?" Subaru asked, mentally struggling to convince himself to return it.

She fidgeted and stared down at her tea. "I suppose I've always just felt that there was something a little… unsettling about that one."

Subaru agreed whole-heartedly but before he could say anything else, his cell phone went off. "Ah, I'm sorry, I should get going…" He reluctantly laid the photograph on the desk and stood up. "Thank you very much for the tea."

"My pleasure." She held the door for him, resting a hand on his shoulder again before he left. "You really should get some rest."

Subaru nodded and hurried away, trying to banish the thought of another cold and predatory smile as he rushed off to another job.

(weeks later)

Another killer, another victim. Subaru always found it unsettling how suicide made one person both. The owner of the apartment complex thanked him profusely but he ignored it, noticing that he had another message. Sighing, he pocketed the phone and started to make his way down the hallway, but paused when he got to the staircase, feeling the chill that usually meant someone was watching him. He turned around slowly, a spell on the tip of his tongue and was surprised to find not a malevolent spirit but a little boy in a crisp elementary school uniform watching him from the other end of the hallway.

"You banished the spirit." The boy stated bluntly.

"Yes…" Subaru wracking his memory, trying to recall where he had seen the boy before.

The boy hesitantly approached him, his footsteps felinely silent. "How did you do that?"

"I'm an onmyouji, I've been trained to deal with spirits and-" Subaru felt his breath catch when the sunlight through the window of the stairwell fell on the boy's face, lighting up a pair of brilliant amber eyes.

"Sei-chan!"

He tore his gaze away to look up the hallway and was unsurprised to see Suzume hurrying down the hallway, juggling papers and her purse and keys from hand to hand as she struggled into a coat.

"Ah! Sumeragi-san!" She flushed in embarrassment at her harried state. "I'm sorry, Sei-chan hasn't been bothering you has he?"

"Not at all." Subaru's eyes wandered back to Seito who was still studying him intently.

"How are you? You still look exhausted…"

Subaru rooted his feet to the ground, determined not to run away.

"I'm fine." He replied, hoping she would not notice how tightly gritted his teeth were.

"How come you're wearing gloves inside?" Seito suddenly asked.

Subaru looked down at his hands as if he had just noticed the black leather enveloping them. He had worn gloves for so long that removing them was like taking off his skin, deeply disturbing and uncomfortable. That, and he couldn't bear the sight of the clear, smooth skin on the back of them.

"I just like them." He replied evasively.

Seito's gaze didn't leave Subaru's face and for the first time in his life he felt he couldn't meet a child's eyes.

"We were going to go to dinner just now." Suzume approached Seito and put an arm around his thin shoulders, oblivious to the way the child's eyes suddenly frosted over with disgust. "Would you like to join us?"

He was going to make up an excuse, anything to get away as quickly as he could and find some way to avoid this whole area, never see her or the boy again. Then Seito looked him in the eye and simply said "please". It wasn't a beg. It wasn't even a request. It was a command, albeit a polite one.

Subaru wondered how the boy knew he wouldn't be able to say no.

Dinner was a quiet affair. The place Suzume had chosen was rather classy and Subaru fully expected Seito to complain about the food, accustomed to children being finicky eaters. But Seito proved to be incredibly polite as a dinner guest. The word "elegant" had never come to mind before while watching a child eat but the way Seito carefully organized his entrée and consumed it could only be described as such. Subaru tried not to let the inordinately graceful mannerisms distract him from Suzume's cordial conversation.

She really was a kind woman, Subaru thought, feeling guilty even as his eyes drifted from her back to Seito as he scanned the restaurant, intently studying the other guests. Suzume really was the first person he had met in a very long time who would speak to someone she hardly knew like this. Tokyo had never been a friendly or open city but the disasters of 1999 had rendered its inhabitants even more mistrustful and enclosed. It was rather like living in a city of mutes sometimes, where no one could speak to one another. No one could bear to look another human in the eye even, unless they already knew what they would find there. Familiarity was safety to most.

Subaru shuddered, realizing that the same could not be said for him.

"Are you alright?" Suzume asked, her eyebrows drawn together in concern as she leaned forward.

"I'm fine." Subaru insisted. "Sorry, I think there was just a chill for a moment."

He blinked in surprise as she reached forward and pressed her hand to his forehead.

"You don't _seem_ like you have a fever but maybe you should see a doctor any-" She caught sight of the look on Subaru's face and drew back quickly, a blush rising to her cheeks. "I'm sorry! That was incredibly rude of me wasn't it!"

Subaru quickly shook his head. "No, it's fine, I was just a little startled." He noticed over Suzume's shoulder that Seito's eyes were locked on the two of them. "Maybe we should go…" he weakly suggested.

He wanted to leave them after the restaurant but he just couldn't bring himself to abandon Suzume and Seito so rather than parting ways, Subaru found himself walking down the streets of Tokyo with the aunt and nephew, learning only now that Suzume's sister and brother-in-law had died, leaving behind their only son years ago. Suzume had only been twenty at the time but took Seito in because she had always wanted children of her own. Even if it had been sooner than perhaps she was ready for, it was clear that she loved Seito dearly.

The boy walked along beside them silently, not adding any details or interpretations of his own to the story, just listening. That is until he noticed an ice cream vendor at an upcoming corner.

Seito bounded up to the vendor and flashed a warm, adorable smile. "Hi!" he chirped, hands behind his back, rocking back and forth between his toes and heels.

"Well hello there young sir." The vendor grinned back, infected by the irresistible smile Seito was still directing at him. "Would you like an ice cream cone?"

Seito hesitated and glanced back at his aunt with a wide-eyed innocently pleading look. Suzume nodded and he whipped his head back around. "Yes please!"

The vendor chuckled. "What flavor would you like?"

"Chocolate chip please! It's my favorite!" Seito positively beamed as the vendor pressed a generous scoop into a large cone and carefully handed it to him.

Suzume began rooting through her purse.

"Oh no worries ma'am, it's on the house."

"Oh!" Suzume blushed. "Are you sure?"

The vendor laughed and patted Seito on the head as he happily nibbled at the ice cream. "Sure, it's not often that I see such cute and well-mannered kids like him."

Suzume blushed more profusely and thanked the vendor repeatedly and walked back over to where Subaru stood a few feet away, Seito trailing just behind her. Subaru stared at the boy, noticing that that warm, friendly smile had vanished behind the ice cream cone and in its place was a much colder, self-satisfied smirk.

"Sorry, shall we?" Suzume asked him cheerfully.

Subaru glanced at Seito again before looking back at Suzume, suddenly wondering how many other such moments she had missed.

_But you wouldn't have noticed before either, would you? _ A little voice whispered in his head. _There were probably a lot of signs that you missed the first time around…_

He quickly shoved the thought away and made a point of looking straight ahead as he walked, determined not to watch Seito's movements.

They parted ways at the front of Suzume and Seito's apartment complex, but not before she had convinced Subaru to meet her again for lunch in a few days.

Subaru watched her enter the building and tried to ignore the way Seito watched him over his shoulder until they turned a corner, disappearing from sight.

Subaru turned away and silently, deliberately walked to the subway. His face was an impeccable mask of absolute serenity as people crowded around him both boarding and debarking. He walked home alone calmly, his expression blank, his breathing normal. He nodded to his neighbor on the stairs and unlocked the door to his apartment without a sound. He stepped inside, carefully closed the door behind him and locked it again as usual.

Then he promptly slumped forward against it, collapsing into a heap on the foyer floor, his forehead against the cool metal of the door.

Seishirou…

His hand felt warm and sticky and there was blood, so much blood…

Seishirou…

Sakura petals filled the air, blinding him, suffocating him.

Seishirou…

Trembling, Subaru withdrew further into his memories, letting the tears he had told himself to stop crying long ago run in silvery rivers down his cheeks unchecked. He didn't even bother trying to catch his breath, too used to the feeling of drowning.

He remembered warm days at the park, being held while he cried, the sound of puppies at the clinic, a hand clutching at his arm for support, hours spent at the zoo, being caught before he tripped, the smell of freshly baked cookies, collapsing to his knees under the weight in his arms, cool evenings spent walking by the river, falling asleep in a sakura-scented room, a kind smile that dissolved into a cruel, mocking smirk that never faded, even as blood dyed his clothes and the concrete red.

The image of Seito's self-satisfied smirk flashed amid the other memories, overlaying the images of Seishirou's smile and Subaru could almost feel the bridge collapsing beneath his knees again.

_Oh God…_ Subaru found himself thinking. _Don't let something like that happen to him in this life._

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	2. Chapter 2

"Yes, there are two paths you can go by, but in the long run  
There's still time to change the road you're on."

-Stairway to Heaven (Led Zeppelin)

_Author's Note: So here I am again... been wondering, do you guys prefer frequent but shorter updates or longer more infrequent updates? I'm trying to decide how to break this story up as I've written lots of little scenes here and there throughout it for later (Seito is a troublesome teen- I know, imagine that right?)_. _The sad thing is I've written some of the ending already (oh yes, I know exactly how it ends already) but I can't post that and see what people think for quite some time. -_- Ah well. It's a bit of journey to get there still. If you guys can be patient with me maybe I'll learn to be too. :P _

_Ramblings aside, I present Chapter 2:_

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Subaru took a deep breath and mentally braced himself as best he could before knocking.

Suzume answered the door with a sunny smile, inviting him and offering to pour him some tea while she finished preparing lunch.

Seito peeked his head around the corner, curious about the arrival. When he noticed it was Subaru he grinned and hopped into the kitchen gaily.

"Is lunch almost ready?" he asked, standing on tiptoe to exam the contents of the stove.

"Almost hon, just a few more minutes, okay?" She fondly ruffled his hair and turned back around, not seeing him briefly glare at her back.

He quickly resumed a chipper demeanor though and turned to Subaru. "Well while we wait, do you wanna see my animals?"

"Pets sweetie." Suzume gently corrected.

Subaru wondered at the vaguely amused expression he shot her. "Sure." He answered, unsure of how else to react.

"Cool!" Seito lead him back into the apartment, to a small bedroom, that was unmistakably a child's room. Yet there was something not quite right about it that Subaru could not put his finger on. The bed was smaller than that of an adult, as was the desk and its chair and the dresser. Then it hit him. Everything was so neat. The bed was made, the desk clear, the walls bare of posters or drawings. The floor was completely clear, no toys scattered across it. No stuffed animals lounged on the bed, no dirty and ragtag sports equipment lay propped up in the corner. The bedroom was too pristine. Except for one thing and that was the terrarium on the edge of the desk with around half a dozen tarantulas in it.

Seito slipped an arm into the terrarium, letting one of the creatures creep onto his sleeve and held it up for Subaru to see, gauging his reaction. Subaru must have passed the test though as he didn't react beyond watching the boy with mild curiosity. For a moment the two of them simply stared at one another, waiting for the other to make the first move.

"What its name?" Subaru asked at long last.

"Name?" Seito's nose wrinkled. "It's a spider, what does it need a name for?"

_What kind of child doesn't name a pet? _Subaru wondered.

The tarantula meanwhile cautiously felt its way over Seito's arm, testing every bit of fabric in slow, hesitant motions, clinging to him with all of its legs but one each time it moved on to test a new spot as if it were afraid the landscape might suddenly change under its feet. Slowly, unevenly, it made its way down Seito's jacket sleeve until a fuzzy leg gently brushed against the bare skin on the back of his hand. Even though he had been keeping an eye on the spider, Seito jumped as if it had come as a surprise and looking for a moment like he was going to fling the creature away.

Then he narrowed his eyes and held his arm still and Subaru watched his knuckles turn white as the spider cautiously debarked the jacket until all of its legs were in contact with the boy's skin. Subaru was shocked to suddenly feel the clammy gathering of a spell like fog being drawn into one area. Seito never spoke a word but Subaru knew exactly what had happened when the tarantula suddenly began to twitch and to try to move away, scared and disoriented. Before Subaru could tell him to stop, the spider fell from his hand and landed on the floor with the quietest of thuds. There it lay still and silent between them.

Subaru started to say something but Suzume interrupted, cheerfully knocking on the doorframe and announcing that lunch was ready. She paused when she saw the dead spider and her face paled several shades.

"It fell off my arm." Seito informed her. "I think it hit the floor too hard or something."

"Oh sweetie, I'm sorry." Suzume shakily smiled. "But there are a couple of others still right? Are you alright hon?"

"I'm great." Seito grinned. "Well except that I'm starving!"

Suzume gave a laugh like plastic stretched too thin, on the verge of snapping. "Well let's eat then huh? Wanna go set the table for me?"

Seito bounded off to the kitchen and she entered the room and used the edge of her skirt to pick up the spider and throw it away. As she looked up from the trash can her eyes locked with Subaru's for a moment and he found himself wondering if Seishirou's mother had worn a similar expression years ago. Such a blend of pain, fear and love, or at least the longing to do so, all seeping into and tainting one another.

She looked for a moment like she wanted to tell him something, explain maybe but a clatter from the kitchen distracted them both and they both rushed in into the room to find Seito on his knees, gasping for breath, plates scattered across the tiles around him.

"Asthma attack." Suzume explained to Subaru apologetically. "He gets these occasionally."

_Yes, I bet he does._ Subaru thought, watching her rest a hand on his shoulder and remind him of breathing techniques.

Suzume frowned at the tile floors even as Seito's breathing returned to normal. "Are you okay sweetie? Do you want to go lie down for a bit?"

Seito gave her a slightly dizzy look and nodded, pulling himself up off the floor to return to his bedroom.

"Inhalers never seem to work." Suzume sighed, watching him vanish down the hallway then proceeded to pick up the plates.

_I'm sure they don't._ Subaru didn't say a word, merely helped her gather the plates then sat down with her but found he wasn't hungry.

"Are you alright?" Suzume asked, snapping him out of a reverie.

"Hm? Yeah I'm fine, sorry, was just thinking."

"Oh. I'm sorry." Suzume poked at her own food. "You must think we're so strange now." She lamented to a sprout.

Subaru laid his chopsticks down beside the plate and entwined his fingers together under his chin. "Did you know that Seito knows some onmyoujitsu?"

Suzume's head whipped up. "What? Like the magic that you use? But how can that be, don't you have to go through years and years of training?"

Subaru carefully trained his eyes on the wildflowers that made up the centerpiece of the table. He wondered why they were so vibrant and blooming when it was nearly winter. "Yes, it takes years of training to be able to use it… properly. But there are snippets of spells and ceremonies in various books and on the internet. However," he paused, trying to find gentlest way to word this. "It can be extremely dangerous for just anyone to try a spell they run across out of context and with no training. It's not that uncommon actually for me to run across people who are suffering from a magical backlash as a result of an incorrectly cast spell. And even when they're correctly cast, many of them rebound on the caster anyway if no steps are taken to prevent it. It really is a dangerous terrain to tread, magic."

The light from the kitchen highlighted the bags under Suzume's eyes that he had not noticed before. "But how do you know he can use it?" He voice was taut.

"The tarantula." Subaru let his mind wander back to the small furry body, twitching in fear. "He suffocated it by removing the oxygen from around it. That's why Seito could not breathe a few moments later; it wasn't an asthma attack, it was the backlash of the spell. Based on what you mentioned about him having had these attacks before, I'm guessing it wasn't the first time he tried the spell." Subaru didn't mention that it was far too easy, and too neatly carried out an execution. "I suppose he just hasn't worked out how to deal with the backlash yet."

"You could teach him though, right?" Suzume straightened up in her chair.

"No." Subaru replied quickly and sharply, causing her to recoil as if she'd been struck. "Sorry… it's just. No. The only thing that can be done in a case like this is to redirect the backlash at someone else."

"But-"

"He would probably choose you."

The color drained from her face.

"If it continues like this, it's likely that Seito will hurt himself or someone else eventually." _More than he already has. _Subaru thought, closing his eyes and watching a small furry body twitch behind his eyelids.

"But then what do I do?" Suzume's choked.

"He needs some sort of training. I could teach him how to use onmyoujitsu properly actually if you will allow it."

"How would that work? Like lessons after school or something?"

Subaru slowly shook his head. "No, onmyouji study for years, as you mentioned, and it takes up nearly all of their time while they are young; there's even a year-long process of seclusion before the official ceremony, making one an onmyouji. There's also the matter of the danger inherent in learning new spells. Thus it's easiest for them to live with the person training them so that they can be properly guided in their studies and protected along the way by someone who knows what they are doing."

Suzume listened to his explanation without reaction but as soon as he finished, her eyes narrowed. "Seito is the only family I have." She clutched at the pale yellow tablecloth, bunching the flowery fabric beneath her fingertips. "How dare you try to take that away. From either me or him."

Subaru started to speak again but she cut him off, her voice rising shrilly. "A child needs to be with someone they know, someone they can trust. Do you really think that you, some strange intruder could just waltz in and expect me to hand him over? What kind of guardian do you take me for?"

Subaru tried again to protest but she stood up, forgetting that the hands were still clutching the tablecloth and thus upsetting her plate and glass. The glass tipped and clattered to the plate, its contents splattering across the clean tablecloth, soaking into the fabric and quietly staining it. Suzume ignored the mess before her though, still focused on Subaru. "I think you should leave." She informed him coldly. "I don't want you anywhere near me or Seito again."

Not knowing how else to react, Subaru wordlessly left the apartment, walking numbly down the street. He was so distracted by the contortions of worry knotting his stomach that it was several blocks before he realized someone was following him. When he did, he waited until he got to Ueno park to stop and see who it was. He didn't want to make a scene in the middle of the street should it be some sort of foe.

Much to Subaru's surprise however, it wasn't a mugger or a dangerous spirit; it was Seito.

"How did you-" He started to ask then shook his head. "What are you doing Seito-kun? You should go home."

"Could you really teach me how to be an onmyouji?" The boy's small shivering frame was hidden behind a pair of determined eyes.

Subaru sighed and knelt in front of him. "No, your aunt doesn't want me to talk to you anymore."

Seito gave him a long cold stare. "I see." With that he turned on his heel and marched back the way they had come, leaving Subaru baffled.

Two days later he got a frantic phone call from Suzume.

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_A/N: So why did he kill the tarantula in the first place? Because they're gross. -_- Actually that's not Seito's reasoning, it's mine. His will come up later though. By the way, for those of you who don't know, killing and/or torturing animals is an early sign of a sociopath. Kids don't usually grow out of this if they exhibit that kind of behavior, in fact it usually escalates. Nearly all murderers started out small like this so yeaaah. Not looking good for Seito._


	3. Chapter 3

_A/N: Sorry about how short this chapter is. ^^; Just felt like it was appropriate to break off where this one ends off before going on to what happens next._

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It was around two am and oddly enough, Subaru was asleep when his cell phone went off. He groggily felt around the mattress next to him, wondering who in the world could possibly be calling at this time of night. When at last his hand hit cold plastic, he held the phone up and felt a rush of adrenaline when he saw that it was Suzume's number. The instinctive, shaky feeling of something being horribly wrong hit him like a punch in the stomach and Subaru threw the covers aside, flinging the phone open.

"Hello?"

"Sumeragi-san?" He heard sobbing on the other end of the line. "Oh God… I'm sorry, I know it's- but Sei-chan- there's a fire-"

Before she could finish the sentence Subaru was out of bed, jerking his boots on, glad for once that he had fall asleep in his jeans and t-shirt. "I'll be right there." He flipped the phone shut and grabbed his coat, not even bothering to lock the door behind him as he dashed out of the apartment.

He could see the smoke from blocks away and it quickened his run to a sprint. When he reached the complex, he saw Suzume being restrained by two policemen as she screamed incoherently about getting back inside.

Looking up, Subaru realized that the whole building was not on fire. In fact, the flames seemed strangely contained, almost as if only one apartment was actually burning, which made it even more curious that no matter how much water the firemen doused it with, they couldn't seem to put it out.

Suddenly the world took on a slowed, surreal feeling as if he had suddenly plunged into water and were looking up at it, seeing only distorted shapes, colors and sounds. The noise of the crowd that had gathered became far away and garbled as he strode forward. There might have been a policeman yelling at him but somehow the wind whipping at the caution tape as he ducked under it drowned the man out.

The building was eerily silent once the front door swung shut behind him, or maybe it was just the deafening fear building up in the corners of Subaru's mind that was shutting out sound. The entrance was completely normal minus the fact that there wasn't a single soul in it; Subaru felt he didn't count, his soul wasn't there either. He took the stairs three at a time, yet felt like he was climbing them far too slowly, why wouldn't his feet move any faster?

When he reached the door he paused for just a split second, the memory of a cartoon turtle instructing children that in the case of a fire, they should feel the doorknob with the back of their hand to see if it was hot because there were flames behind it. Subaru hastily shoved the memory away in irritation. Of course it would be hot. He ignored the smoke that billowed out around him as he jerked the door open and plunged inside.

Once in the apartment though he suddenly choked and felt his eyes water, feeling a hot, oxygenless heat climbing down his throat to steal the breath from his lungs. He stumbled past trinkets already being reduced to embers and blazing pieces of furniture, cackling at him through the smoke. As he grew dizzier, he stumbled on his way to the bedroom and lost his footing, catching himself only millimeters from collapsing straight onto what he thought used to be a chair.

In the midst of the flames, he thought he saw a mocking smile and remembered another burning building.

"_You're so cute, Subaru-kun."_

He choked and nearly stumbled again. Suddenly the cartoon turtle floated back to mind and he remembered to drop to his knees, as smoke rises. It didn't make it easy to breathe that way, it just gave him just enough leeway to make it to Seito's room without passing out.

When he reached the bedroom it took him several seconds to recognize the chalk pattern etched on the wooden floor and even longer to register what the figure in the middle of it was. As soon as he did though, Subaru was by his side, whipping out an ofuda to dispel the symbol on the floor. As the chalk drawing slowly dissipated, the flames in the room seemed to grow bolder and crept over what had been a boundary moments before. It leapt forward and took a taste of Seito sleeve, Subaru noticed, still concentrating on unraveling the unconscious boy's spell gone awry. He nearly lost focus when the sleeve caught fire but quickly finished the unraveling and whipped of his jacket to put out the fire, fear beginning to replace blood in his heart.

As soon as the small flame had been smothered, he wrapped his arms around the boy, feeling his senses suddenly snap back to reality and take in the severity of the situation as a piece of Seito's desk crumbled to the floor, scattering little flames across the room. Before he could let himself panic, Subaru gathered the boy up and stood, to hell with crawling at this point, and dashed out of the apartment and downstairs.

There were a ton of people outside, both evacuated residents of the building and neighbors come to see the spectacle, but a paramedic spotted Subaru before he had to look for one and immediately rushed forward to take Seito from his arms. For a split second, Subaru was reluctant to let go of the small, limp body, feeling too empty without it but a dull smoky reason urged him to let the paramedic take the boy.

Then everything went black.

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	4. Chapter 4

_Author's Note: Thank you to everyone has reviewed so far! :D I'm glad to see that people are already getting into this story! ^_^ Your reviews and favorites are all much appreciated!_

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It was the smell that he recognized first of all things. He knew the scent of fear and death all too well at this point and had become somewhat inured to them, as unsettling and sickening as they once had been. Of course, there was something still nauseating about the scent of a slowly dying body as its host drags on, lingering in a twisted limbo of hope and despair. The only thing worse than that smell, was the scent of trying to cover it up.

Subaru opened his eyes and was completely unsurprised to see a pale striped curtain softly waving as an air conditioning vent just above it blew down softly like a child making a wish on a dandelion. He wondered vaguely if the air conditioner had a wish it thought it could make by blowing away pieces of lint instead of seeds. He coughed then winced as pain spasmed through his chest.

A nurse glanced around the edge of the curtain. "Oh you're awake!" She chirped with a sunny smile.

As she bustled about, checking him over, Subaru automatically complied with her requests, letting his mind wander back to the last things he remembered, trying to call forth what had happened. All he could remember at first was the absolute, heart-stopping need to do something. He had had something very important to do… had he done it? He asked himself the question repeatedly until it hit him.

"Seito- is he okay?" he asked, jerking when the memory hit and accidentally knocking the nurse's stethoscope away.

"The boy you saved? He's alive. He had some relatively minor burns and smoke inhalation just like you but he's alive and will be fine. It's amazing really. He's incredibly lucky to have gotten off so easily. Of course so are you."

Subaru knew a gentle chastise when he heard one but really didn't feel like arguing the necessity of his actions with a complete stranger so he fell silent once more.

A few minutes after the nurse left the room, a soft knock interrupted Subaru's reverie as he stared at the curtain. He was surprised to see Suzume timidly enter the room and started to apologize, suddenly remembering that the last time he had talked to her she had told him to stay away from Seito. He was at a complete loss for words though when she abruptly broke into tears, a wracking sob shaking her slim frame.

"No." She protested, digging tissues out of her purse and hiccupping as the sobs subsided somewhat into softer but no less abundant tears. "I'm so sorry. I know it's my own fault…"

Subaru struggled to gain purchase on the unexpectedly slick surface of the conversation. "What?"

"I know I shouldn't have called you after I was so horrible to you, but I didn't know who else to turn to. The firemen, they couldn't put out the fire, and for some reason they couldn't get into the apartment either when they tried and I knew it was probably something magic gone wrong…"

At last Subaru knew what to say. "It was. I'm not sure what he was trying to do originally, but it backlashed violently." He paused for a second but decided it was important to add, "Whatever his goal was, it was likely violent as well."

Suzume's breath hitched. "I have no right to ask, but… what do I do? Is it… too late to ask you to train him?"

Subaru eyed her, taking in the dark circles under her eyes, the way her hair was sticking up in odd places and her clothing was rumbled and stained. "Suzume-san? Have you gotten any sleep yet?"

She shook her head. "I've been here at the hospital since last night; they let me stay because Seito's a minor."

"You should go home and rest then, before you make any major decisions regarding your nephew."

"No." Suzume shook her head firmly. "I need to decide this now; I won't be able to rest until I resolve this. I-" she choked slightly. "I don't want to lose Seito… but at this rate, I'm afraid I will no matter what. And I'd rather know he's safe with someone like you than get killed by a backlash." She paused then gasped. "Oh. Unless… I mean, this is kind of sudden to you. It's really not fair I guess for me to demand a solution from you right now when you're injured like this."

Subaru stared at his hands in his lap, noticing that there were small bandages snaking their way over his palms and fingers like little trenches of snow. "No. It's fine. I've been thinking about it for the past couple of days anyway." It registered that someone had taken his gloves off and Subaru wondered where they were, feeling surprisingly insecure without them. "Suzume-san… maybe this isn't my place to mention but it seems like you would be happiest caring for a warm, loving family. Maybe… if you didn't have your hands full with Seito you could find someone special and make that come true?"

He was baffled by the way her face turned crimson and she suddenly wouldn't look him in the eye.

"I… had sort of hoped something could happen…" with every syllable, her voice dropped imperceptibly until the last two words were nearly inaudible. "…with you."

There had been numerous moments in Subaru's life when he had felt like a complete idiot. Hokuto had always teased him about being notoriously unobservant and he had believed after her death and the disaster with Seishirou that had accompanied it that he had finally learned his lesson. Obviously he was mistaken.

Resisting the urge to bury his face in his hands, Subaru shifted awkwardly. "I wouldn't have been the right kind of person for you."

Suzume nodded, her face still burning. "I know. I'm sorry Sumeragi-san." She took a deep breath and straightened up, raising her eyes to face him again, her jaw set. "But what about Seito."

Subaru admired her resilience. "I'm still willing to train him."

"Would he have to live with you?"

Subaru had given the matter a lot of thought over the past several days but continued racking his brains even now before answering. "Technically no, but it would be tricky for all three of us if he didn't."

Suzume's eyes softened slightly. "I don't want to make things difficult for Seito."

_As if being an onmyouji is easy._ Subaru bitterly thought but quickly pushed it away, feeling like it was too much of an affront to his own upbringing to even think.

"I guess I should talk to him about it."

Subaru debated keeping it to himself, but decided that honestly was the best policy here. "He asked if I could teach him the other day. He followed me out of the apartment when I left and asked it."

Surprise flickered on her face but died out almost immediately and was replaced with something suspiciously akin to maternal exhasperation.

"Still. I'd like to talk to it about it." She replied, in the tone of "he is so grounded".

She fell silent for a moment and Subaru hesitated to speak as the look of one trying to find the words to a question they didn't really want answered crossed her features.

"Do you worry at all… Sumeragi-san… that if he learns more onmyoujitsu that he could do something… bad with it? Is that even possible?"

He could have lied and let her sleep more easily at night but he felt it would be too insulting even if she never knew. "It's possible." His hand subconsciously wandered to his arm, feeling a twinge in a bone that had been broken many years ago as his fingers wrapped tightly around it.

"So he could end up harming others." Suzume deadpanned.

"He might. But if he knows how to handle it, even if he harms others, Seito himself will be safer."

Suzume stared at her hands. "Is it selfish of me to accept that knowledge with relief because at least he'll be okay?"

"Wishing for your nephew's well-being isn't selfish, even if it is potentially at the cost of someone else." Subaru heard the rush of nurses through the hallway outside his door and heard a code that he recognized from years of experience in hospitals. Someone was dying nearby. "Happiness is different for every person. If knowing that Seito is safe makes you happy then you should do whatever you can to achieve that."

Suzume nodded. "I'll talk to him."

She wearily rose from the plastic seat by Subaru's bed and walked to the door with her head held high although the effort it took to do so permeated her posture. She paused with a hand on the doorknob and turned back around, giving him such a look of such grief that it left Subaru momentarily breathless.

"I'm sorry, Sumeragi-san." She left the room as soon as the words left her lips, leaving Subaru to wonder what precisely she was apologizing for.

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	5. Chapter 5

"UNINSTALL UNINSTALL  
kono hoshi no musuu no chiri no hitotsu dato  
ima no boku niwa rikai dekinai  
UNINSTALL UNINSTALL  
osore wo shiranai senshi no youni  
furumau shikanai UNINSTALL"

-Uninstall by Chiaki Ishikawa

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_Author's note: The English translation of the lyrics to the song above:_

_Uninstall, uninstall  
I was told that I am just one of the countless specks of dust on this planet,  
But that is something I cannot yet comprehend.  
Uninstall, uninstall.  
I have no choice but to pretend that  
I am a warrior who knows no fear. Uninstall._

_ That all aside! Subaru and Seito are still at the hospital but for the first time in this dang story Seito actually makes an appearance and gives us a little more insight to his personality! And hopefully the song lyrics will make more sense after reading the chapter but I wanted to set the tone a little bit this soooo yeah. Enjoy!_

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He didn't even hear the soft pattering of footsteps outside the door or hear it softly push open. Subaru wasn't sure if it was because he had been so engrossed in the book or because Seito moved that quietly but either way he was shocked to suddenly glance up and see the boy standing at the foot of his bed watching him.

"Are you the one who rescued me?" He asked in a flat tone.

"I'm the one who got you out of the fire, yes." Subaru answered just as evenly.

"May I ask something?"

Subaru nodded.

"How come?"

"What?"

"How come?" Seito repeated himself slightly louder.

Subaru's brow drew together. "How come what?"

"How come you saved me?"

Subaru raised an eyebrow. "I didn't want you to get hurt."

Seito eyed him suspiciously. "Except you and I both ended up getting hurt."

"I didn't want you to die." Subaru winced inwardly at the harsh wording.

Seito considered this, tilting his head slightly and mulling it over silently. "Okay." He said at long last, seeming unperturbed by suddenly having his own mortality thrown in his face as such. "But you could have died too. The nurses said so. They all think you're brave."

"Do they."

"And attractive. Sometimes they fight over who gets to go check on you. Especially once they checked and found out you were single." Seito glanced upward, thinking for a second before adding "They're all jealous of Aunt Suzume actually because they think she's your girlfriend." He lowered his eyes to look at Subaru again, with mild curiosity instead of suspicion this time. "Is she? She says no but I'm not sure if I can believe her."

Subaru felt his cheeks grow slightly warmer. "No, she's not my girlfriend."

The look that briefly crossed Seito's face surely couldn't have been disappointment but Subaru was surprised by how similar it was.

"Still. You could have died. So how come you came and got me?"

"I wanted to protect you."

"But why?"

Subaru was taken aback. "Your aunt would have been sad if something had happened to you."

Seito pondered this.

" And I don't think firemen know how to unravel spells like that." Subaru added pointedly. "Speaking of which- what exactly were you trying to accomplish?"

"There was a spiderweb in the corner of my ceiling and I couldn't reach it to knock it down. I wanted to destroy it somehow." He narrowed his eyes slightly. "I assume I did succeed in that at least. But I don't know where it went wrong."

"You destroyed the spider's home. It's a cruel thing to do, destroying someone's home and the spell you created backlashed and tried to destroy yours in order to gain retribution." Subaru hunted around in the blankets for a bookmark, realizing he was still holding the book open in his lap. "But why did you want to destroy the spiderweb so much that you resorted to a spell in the first place? I thought you liked spiders."

Seito wrinkled his nose and for a split second Subaru was reminded of a small black bunny his sister had once had as a pet when they were young and he found himself idly wondering if Seito liked carrots before mentally kicking himself for veering off into whimsy.

"I hate spiders." Seito replied, spitting out the last word as though there were one in his mouth.

"Then why do you have pet tarantulas?" Subaru found the bookmark and slipped it between the pages before laying the book down in front of him.

"Cuz I hate them." the boy answered with the kind of disdain that implied it were the most obvious answer in the world. He climbed up onto the end of the bed and reached forward to pick up and examine the book.

"Why would you keep them if you hate them?" Subaru inquired, noting that he appeared to be missing some of the logic here.

"They're scary." Seito wrinkled his nose again but wouldn't look Subaru in the eye as he admitted it. "But I don't like being scared of them."

"Well people don't like being scared usually."

"Sure they do." Seito began flipping through the book curiously. "That's how come people make horror films and haunted houses and stuff like that. In the U.S. there's even this whole big holiday devoted to dressing up scary and getting rewarded with candy for it. Apparently they spend like the whole month of October getting ready for it. I guess Americans really like being scared."

Subaru had to admit he had a point.

"But I don't like it." Seito slammed the book shut and looked up to face Subaru. "So I tried to make myself less scared."

"How?" Subaru was baffled but fascinated by the avenues this young mind had taken so far.

"By keeping them around. It was really scary at first. I couldn't sleep at night for a long time 'cause I was terrified that they would get out. Aunt Suzume thought I was sick or something cuz I was really sleepy every morning. But I got over that eventually and I started being able to pick them up with gloves on. That was really scary too at first. So scary it made me sick and a couple of times I wound up flinging them off but that was even worse because then they were free in my room. That was when I first started using the spells to kill them, so that I wouldn't have to get close to them. But eventually I got past that too. I was working on getting to where I was so afraid of them touching my skin when you came to visit. I thought I could handle it but I guess not. I tried to make myself let it stay there but the only way I could make myself do so was if I knew it wouldn't be for long."

"So you suffocated it?" Subaru asked incredulously.

"Yeah. But that's why I couldn't breathe afterward wasn't it? I heard you tell Aunt Suzume that was why."

"Yes. That spell backlashed and tried to suffocate you as well. It's lucky it takes a lot less to suffocate a spider than a human."

"Is there a way to keep that from happening with spells?"

Subaru hesitated to answer then decided once more to go with honesty. He didn't do lying well. "Yes."

Seito opened his mouth to speak but Subaru held a hand up. "But it involves redirecting the backlash at someone else and they'll get hurt instead of you."

"So?"

It was an incredibly cold and heartless thing to say the in context of the conversation and for a moment Subaru was slightly horrified at the ease with which Seito wrote off the implications of his statement. Then he really studied the boy's face and noticed something he had not caught onto before. There was no malicious intent there in those little amber eyes, just curiosity. The boy genuinely did not know what was wrong with letting someone else take the fall, and while this came with its own unsettling implications, Subaru felt an odd reassurance in his discovery.

"Everyone can't go around letting others get hurt like that."

"How come? What about 'every man for himself'?"

"The world doesn't work like that. Sometimes we have to look out for one another."

"But why?" Seito leaned forward slightly, as if he were being increasingly drawn into the conversation.

"Well imagine if Aunt Suzume didn't look out for you."

Seito considered this, leaning back against the footboard and playing with the identifying hospital band around his wrist.

"It isn't fair to allow others to suffer for what you do yourself." Subaru added.

"What do you do?" Seito inquired. "You're an onmyouji, you use spells like that right? What do you do about the backlashes?"

_His last victim had been a 17 year old boy a few weeks ago. Subaru was glad the tree only required him to kill a handful of times a year, partly because he couldn't stand the killing itself and partly because he couldn't bring himself to do what Seishirou did to the animals at his veterinary clinic. So Subaru bore most of the backlash himself, even though it made him deathly ill for over a week afterward every time. As miserable as it was to be reduced to hallucination-inducing fevers and bone-chilling trembles, it never felt like enough in the form of retribution and even though Subaru recovered from the physical backlash, he more or less lived in a constant state of psychological torment. At some point it had occurred to him that maybe that wasn't ever from the backlash but from his own inability to let go of the guilty. Either way, it really didn't matter when he imagined the eyes of that 17 year old boy whose family would never see their son again._

"I don't use spells like that when they aren't necessary. And I deal with the backlash myself when I do have to use them." Subaru replied bluntly.

A knock came at the door and Suzume poked her head in.

"There you are." She breathed a sigh of relief upon catching sight of Seito. She walked into the room and settled on the end of Subaru's bed, wrapping an arm around Seito's shoulders.

It was all Subaru could do not to raise an eyebrow at the way Seito tensed and frowned. Subaru suddenly loved that he frowned; Seishirou had never cared enough to frown.

"We've talked over your proposal." Suzume announced.

Subaru snapped to attention.

"I agree that Seito would be better off being trained as an onmyouji if he already has the talent and skill to do so and it would keep him safer. And Seito wants to do it as well. That is, if you are still willing to do so."

Subaru nodded and proceeded to arrange a time when he and Suzume could work out the finer details, noticing that as they did so, Seito's eyes remained locked on him, carefully weighing and gauging every move Subaru made, ever expression to cross his face, every slight change in his tone of voice. He couldn't help but wonder the entire time he was talking to Suzume what on earth was going on in the boy's head, what new little roads his mind was paving.

When at last they had arranged as much as they could for the time being, Suzume thanked him gratefully and stood to leave, taking Seito by the hand despite the way he glared at her for it and leading him out of the room.

Seito pulled his hand out of hers at the doorway and turned around.

"I still think it was stupid of you to rescue me." He said bluntly.

"Seito!" Suzume gasped in shock and began to apologize.

"But thank you anyway." Seito informed Subaru over Suzume's hasty apologies before disappearing down the hallway.

Once they were both gone, Subaru rubbed his temples and flopped back onto the pillows. He turned and noticed that he could see his distorted reflection in the chrome of the equipment by his bed.

_Oh Hokuto-chan_. He murmured to the reflection. _What have I gotten myself into?_

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	6. Chapter 6

_Author's Note: Yes, I know, I keep putting aside the Xmas fic for other stories, bear with me. :P_

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Chapter 6

It was a good thing Subaru had his family's influence, not to mention his own as head of the clan. He wondered how much longer it would have taken to become Seito's legal guardian.

As the weeks rolled by, steadily creeping closer to the date they decided Seito would move in with Subaru, Suzume began calling him more and more frequently. Subaru listened patiently every time she gave him the information to Seito's pediatrician, or his school yet again. Sometimes she would call and forget why but wind up rambling about Seito and what foods he liked, how good he was at math, how he had an upcoming dentist appointment, and anything else that happened to cross her mind. Subaru was careful to hear her out each time, realizing that it calmed her nerves.

In the meantime he also realized that the small flat he was living in was not going to be suitable for the both of them. With Suzume's help, he found a two-bedroom apartment closer to where she lived. He figured this would be a good way to start out the situation, putting he and Seito on more even ground by making home a new place for both of them. Seito did not comment on this either way, but Subaru had a sneaking suspicion that the boy knew what his intentions had been all along.

The day that they moved in, Suzume helped to set up Seito's bedroom, assembling the furniture and putting away clothing in its rightful places so that by nightfall, everything was already in place for him. She reluctantly hugged the boy, promised to visit in a couple of days to make sure everything was going alright, and with several more glances over her shoulder, left the building.

Subaru meanwhile, had been slowly unpacking his belongings on his own, trying to give Suzume more one-on-one time with Seito while she could still have it. He was still sitting on the floor of his own bedroom surrounded by boxes as he sorted through some old clothes that he had saved for the nostalgia factor when he realized that Seito was standing in the doorway, quietly watching him.

"I'm sorry." He quickly set aside the papers. "Are you getting hungry? I guess we haven't had dinner still have we?"

Seito shook his head and wandered into the bedroom, curiously peering at the pile of ridiculous get-ups, remnants of his sister's craftsmanship. "What's this?" He inquired, holding up a bundle of red leather.

"It's a jacket I used to wear all the time when I was sixteen."

"Why is it so bright red?"

Maybe it was the Hokuto-made clothing he'd been pulling out of the box and looking at for the past half hour, but for a moment Subaru could have sworn he was channeling a bit of his sister's personality. "Because it was the early nineties and everyone dressed like Lady Gaga."

Seito's eyes got wide. "Everyone?"

"Yep."

"All the time?"

"Even to bed."

Seito studied the fabric with such intensity that Subaru could not help but smile a little. Then he looked up at Subaru suspiciously. "You just made that up didn't you."

"I did, yes."

Seito returned to studying the fabric. "You're not a very good liar."

"No, I'm really not." Subaru agreed.

"Don't all adults lie? You should probably practice more if you're going to fit in." Seito commented in a bored voice.

Subaru shifted uncomfortably at this. "Well, first of all, adults don't all lie…"

"They do." Seito cut off the rest of his sentence with an intense look. "I've never met an adult who didn't lie."

Subaru wasn't sure what memory lay behind the way the boy suddenly clung to the jacket but he had a feeling it wasn't a pleasant one. Attempting to cajole him, Subaru softened his voice a little more. "A lot of people do lie." He replied in the same tone he used to convince the ghosts of shy children to come out when his work called for it. "But not everyone does."

Seito frowned and gave him a mistrustful look.

"I tell you what." Subaru shifted a box over so that he could kneel a little closer to the boy. "Let's make a deal."

_Let's make a bet…_

Subaru immediately shoved away the memory, holding up his pinky finger. "I promise that I won't ever lie to you if you promise that you won't ever lie to me."

Seito looked back and forth between Subaru's face and the crooked finger. "What are you doing?"

"Pinky swearing?"

Seito sniffed. "That's for little kids and dumb girls who are obsessed with romantic stories."

Subaru sighed and lowered his hand.

Seito toyed with the jacket sleeve some more, fiddling with a button as though testing out the texture under his small fingers. "Besides. What's wrong with lying?"

Subaru stared.

"Sometimes the truth makes people upset doesn't it?"

Subaru sighed. "Yes, sometimes it does. However, that's not a good reason to lie."

Seito lifted his head to watch him.

"Sometimes the truth hurts, but it's better to know it anyway." Subaru stared at his hands in his lap.

_I don't know what truth is anymore…_ Again, he pushed aside the memory. _That was then, this is now._ He reminded himself angrily. _I can't let myself stay caught up in that anymore. I need to pay attention to what's right in front of me…_

Seito was still standing in front of him, with an expression that one could have very nearly mistaken for hope.

_Hope? Why hope?_ Subaru wondered, then a strangely perverse idea came to mind.

"Let's make a bet." He nearly choked on the words, shocked to hear himself saying them in the first place.

Seito tensed almost imperceptibly with both suspicion and anticipation.

_He likes a risk._ Subaru suddenly realized. _The promise didn't appeal to him because it was too straightforward and safe, he needs a challenge._

"If I ever lie to you…" Subaru scrambled for a sufficiently enticing compensation. "I'll teach you any spell you want."

Seito's eyes widened. "Any spell?"

"Any spell at all."

Seito's eyes suddenly narrowed again to a catlike gaze. "Even a really dangerous one?"

Subaru swallowed and nodded. "Even a dangerous one."

Seito regarded him cautiously, as if searching for any sign of deception. "What's the catch?"

"You have to swear that you'll never lie either."

Seito hesitated.

"If you do, then the bet is off."

"But I just have to promise not to, right?"

"Right." Subaru nodded again.

"But I could break my promise." Seito pointed out.

"You could. And if you do, then like I said, the bet is off." Subaru paused then carefully added, "which means that I could lie to you."

Seito frowned at that possibility. "Fine then." He straightened up and gave Subaru the most dignified look an eight-year-old boy holding a red leather jacket could possibly summon. "I accept your bet."

"Alright then, we have a deal."

On the one hand, Subaru felt as though he had just conned a small child into promising to behave, and somehow, even though he really did intend to be truthful with the boy, it felt like a kind of lying. On the other hand, he was well aware by this point that Seito was not the average child and really he had probably in fact given him more reassurance than the boy had ever gotten before from an adult in a bizarre, twisted way. Besides, he knew what a convincing liar Seishirou had been. He knew better than to think that this younger counterpart would be any more truthful if left to his own devices.

"So." Subaru stretched and pulling himself off the floor. "What do you want for dinner?"

Seito thought for a moment then looked up at him with a more-than-innocent smile. "Ice cream."

"Ice cream? That's not really a dinner food."

"You said not to lie." Seito gave him a positively angelic look. "And you asked what I wanted, and what I want is ice cream."

"Well let's do that after dinner then. We need to eat some real food before that though."

"How come?" Seito followed him into the kitchen.

"Because we need something with actual nutritional value to it."

"Why?" Seito pressed further.

"Because it's healthy for you. You need vitamins and minerals and stuff to keep growing and to stay healthy."

He caught sight of the boy's face as he turned to dig around in the pantry and saw that he seemed unexpectedly surprised. "What?"

"Aunt Suzume always said 'because I said so' when I kept asking her questions."

"I won't tell you that."

"Why not?" Seito paused then quickly added "I mean, I hated that answer, but why? It seems… awfully convenient."

"I don't like the idea of telling someone to simply take what I say on faith." Subaru shuffled around the pantry, wondering why there did not seem to be anything in it, even though he had packed up everything from his old apartment.

"Why not?"

Subaru closed his eyes momentarily to recall the saying. "Do not believe in anything simply because you have heard it. Do not believe in anything simply because it is spoken and rumored by many. Do not believe in anything simply because it is found written in your religious books. Do not believe in anything merely on the authority of your teachers and elders. Do not believe in traditions because they have been handed down for many generations. But after observation and analysis, when you find that anything agrees with reason and is conducive to the good and benefit of one and all, then accept it and live up to it."*

Seito gave him a strange look.

"It is a Buddhist quote." Subaru explained.

"Are you Buddhist?"

"No."

"Hm." Seito considered this carefully. "It makes sense though."

Subaru paused in his rummaging to stare over his shoulder at the contemplative child. Something about the contrast of Seishirou's ruthless attitude toward life combined with this serious consideration of a traditionally peaceful religion suddenly struck him as terribly funny and he bit back a laugh as he quickly turned away so the boy would not notice. "Well maybe it's something you should read up on some more." _Who knows, maybe it will quell that sadistic side of you you always hid so well. _Subaru paused and found himself wondering if that was actually possible. Could he really turn out that differently?

"Maybe." Seito replied slowly and for a moment Subaru thought he was responding to the question he had asked in his head.

"Either way, I don't think there's a whole lot in here right now, so why don't we go out and get something to eat?" Subaru suggested.

Seito agreed and returned to his room to get his jacket, but while he did so, Subaru found himself wondering still.

_Could he actually wind up that different this time around?_

_._

_._

_*This is actually a Buddhist quote, and one that I've always really liked. I don't know a lot about Onmyodo (which would be the religion Subaru should follow as an onmyouji) but as I understand it, it has been heavily influenced by several other religions, Buddhism included. That combined with the large Buddhist population of Japan made me guess that Subaru would know a fair amount of it and at least follow some of its principles even if you could not strictly speaking call him Buddhist.  
_


	7. Chapter 7

_Author's Note: Something I want to go ahead and point out right now is that while single-parent households as well as stay-home fathers are becoming increasingly prevalent in the US they are still relatively uncommon in Japan as the country has maintained slightly stricter gender and family roles. Not to say that both circumstances aren't on the rise, it's just that they don't seem to be increasing nearly as rapidly as they are in western countries. I'm still trying to find some credible numbers to quote on this but having trouble finding very much on single fathers in Japan; most of the studies and statistics available focus almost exclusively on single mothers if they focus on a single-parent household at all. Of course, the fact that single-father households practically don't even register as a possibility to the people conducting these studies is telling in and of itself._

_With all of that in mind, I'd like to point out that once he becomes Seito's only legal guardian, Subaru is essentially a single father. I was going to post all this point later on in the story to explain something that happens but I realized that it might be better to tell you guys this now just so that you're aware from the outset, just as I'm sure Subaru is, that it's a rare occurrence._

_In addition, a note about OCD, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder: sociopaths often exhibit signs of various other psychoses and one relatively common one is OCD. While there were several possibilities that I could have written Seito into doing, I chose this one because I happen to have OCD myself so I know what it's like. :P "Write what you know" right? Anyway, shutting up now and letting you get on with the chapter!_

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The first week passed without incident. Subaru had decided to give Seito time to adjust to his new school and living situation before launching straight into training. He thought maybe the weekend would be a good time to start talking about the basics so Saturday morning he woke up bright and early, planning to spend some time working out how to begin.

He was surprised however to walk into the kitchen to find Seito dutifully sweeping the floor. A quick glance around showed that the countertops were gleaming, the few dishes that had been in the sink were gone and the table was neatly arranged.

"Good morning." Seito greeted him, sweeping the last bits of debris into a small dustpan and dumping it in the trashcan.

"Um… good morning." Subaru watched the boy carefully replace the broom and dustpan. "You're up early; didn't you want to sleep in today?"

Seito wrinkled his nose. "No. Today is cleaning day."

Subaru raised an eyebrow. "Cleaning day?"

"Yes. I don't have school on Saturday. So it's the day to clean everything up." Seito informed him matter-of-factly.

Subaru thought back to how pristine Suzume's apartment had been and supposed she must have established that routine. "Oh. Well you don't have to clean on Saturdays. You can sleep in."

Seito gave him an almost horrified look. "Why would I do that?"

"I dunno, doesn't it bother you waking up this early on the weekend?"

The boy sniffed. "No. What bothers me is not having things clean. Aunt Suzume was the one who always slept in."

Subaru tried to process this information, attempting to reconcile it with his previous assumption that the whole cleaning thing was Suzume's to begin with.

"I'm done with the kitchen now though!" Seito announced proudly. "Now for the bathroom!"

Subaru followed the boy into the bathroom and watched him root around underneath the sink. "Where is the shower cleaner?" he asked at long last.

"I doubt I have any." Subaru admitted somewhat sheepishly.

Seito gave him a reproving look. "Why not?"

"Um, I guess I just haven't bought any in a while."

"A while?" Seito frowned and Subaru wrestled back a smile at that small yet so open expression of displeasure. "Can we go get some?"

"What, right now?"

"When else would we?"

"How about after lunch. We can start on training today and talk about that first then we'll pick up some cleaner when we go grocery shopping."

Seito tensed up and for a moment Subaru expected a childish tantrum but the boy simply stiffly agreed, curiosity over the lesson apparently winning him over.

Subaru led him back to the open living room and sat down on the floor, gesturing for the boy to join him there. Once the two of them were settled, face to face, he explained the significance of meditation and the necessity of centering one's self before performing spells. He had expected the boy to grow antsy rather quickly. Eight-year-olds weren't known for their extended attention spans after all. However, much to his surprise, Seito took the entire lesson in stride, although he did seem slightly disappointed at first to learn that there would be no spells just yet.

A few hours later, Subaru could sense the boy growing restless, even though he had at first approached the lesson on meditation with such seriousness. He supposed Seito was getting hungry and suggested that they take care of lunch now.

Seito agreed but even at lunch he seemed unusually rushed and irritated. Subaru watched him clear off his plate with as much speed as he could afford without sacrificing his usual grace. He wondered if the boy was in a hurry to get back to another lesson but was surprised when he neatly folded his hands in his lap and politely asked if they could go buy cleaner now.

Subaru raised an eyebrow.

"You said we could after lunch." His voice was even but there was just the tiniest twinge of defensiveness to it, the small indication that he had every intention of holding Subaru to his word.

Subaru nodded.

When they returned to the apartment with their shopping bags, Seito neatly helped put away groceries and miscellaneous supplies but as soon as everything was tucked away in its proper place, the boy vanished to the bathroom.

Subaru peeked around the corner to see him dutifully scrubbing the bathtub with the newly purchased cleaning supplies, looking more relaxed than he had even when meditating.

The next afternoon, Suzume came by to visit and see how Seito was handling the move. She arrived a little while before he got home from school so Subaru offered her tea and they sat down at the kitchen table to wait and in the meantime, Subaru decided to take the opportunity to ask about the boy's cleaning ritual.

Suzume chuckled fondly as she stirred her tea. "Yes, he's always been rather fastidious. I don't know what it is, but he always did keep his bedroom and bathroom impeccable, basically since he could get around on his own."

Subaru raised an eyebrow. "Just his bedroom and bathroom?"

"Well yes, I suppose those were what he considered his own space that needed to be clean. Why?"

"Yesterday he cleaned the whole flat except for my bedroom."

Suzume's eyes widened and she looked around the kitchen. "I thought it seemed even cleaner in here than when you first moved in somehow but I thought it was just my imagination. That's odd though… I wonder if it was because you just moved in?"

"I don't know."

Suzume stared at her wobbly reflection in the tea for a moment, then set her spoon down on the saucer, folding her hands in her lap and looking at them a little sadly. "Or it could be because he feels like this is all his space. Or space to be shared. He always kept to himself when he lived with me, but I get the feeling every time I see you with him that he is much more comfortable with you."

Subaru was not sure how to respond to this but before he had to, the door opened and Seito entered the kitchen. Suzume swept off of her chair to wrap him in a warm embrace and Subaru saw annoyance flash in the boy's eyes for a split second before he dutifully hugged her back.

As Suzume knelt down to talk to the boy and ask how things were going, Subaru slipped out of the kitchen, thinking that she would like a few moments alone with her nephew. He stepped out onto the breezeway and stared at the cars and people moving around below.

_He is much more comfortable with you. _Suzume's words echoed in his ears and Subaru let his mind wander back in time to the year of the bet. Seishirou had spent a lot of time with him that year and when he looked back over it, it had often struck Subaru as bizarre given the Sakurazukamori's usual preference for solitude. Sure there was the bet to be settled but he could have possibly done that without spending nearly every day with him if only for a few minutes.

Over the past several years when Subaru thought back on that year, he hollowly concluded that Seishirou had been watching him, ensuring that his prey, once caught, would not escape before he could finally destroy it. Like a cat playing with a mouse before eating it, Seishirou was just keeping him within reach, or so he had thought. He had believed that it was more an obligation that kept Seishirou nearby, the need to see through the bet until the end.

What if it wasn't?

What if Seishirou had not been faking every single smile? What if he had actually enjoyed some of the time that they had spent together?

What if… his last words were the truthful ones?

Subaru was stirred from his reverie by Seito sticking his head out the door to tell him that Suzume was leaving unless he had anything else he needed to talk to her about. Subaru quickly followed him back inside to tell her goodbye then moved about the kitchen, cleaning up the teacups as Seito settled down at the table with his homework.

It was only after the dishes had been cleaned and put away that he turned around and realized that Seito was so lost in thought, intent upon the assignment in front of him that he did not even notice Subaru watching him.

_Seishirou would have noticed immediately_. Subaru realized. _He was always on his guard, always 100% aware of his surroundings._

Yet the boy sitting at the table in front of him was peacefully absorbed in math problems, oblivious to the gaze upon him. He wondered if it was because he was still young and had not yet learned the hyper vigilance that had so marked Seishirou's mannerisms. Subaru had never thought about it before but he had not exactly known Seishirou as a child; he had no idea what he must have been like at this age. He had thought of him as just being like Seishirou except shorter. Now he was not so sure.

There was something far more trusting to Seito, he realized. Not that he was not still a suspicious little boy and far more observant and cautious than any child he had ever met before, but he was still just that, a child. He wondered how long Seito would stay that way.

He wondered a lot of things about Seito.

.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

Two more weeks passed without any major incident as training continued in between Seito's school work and Subaru's onmyouji work. Seito had begun training a lot later than most children chosen to be raised as an onmyouji but he had proven to be incredibly patient and motivated, not to mention a quick learner. He had not said it out loud to anyone, but Subaru was impressed by the ease with which Seito adapted to both the new living situation and the rigorous training schedule.

Then a phone call came while they were in the middle of preparing dinner one night and Subaru sighed as he recognized the number but answered anyway.

"Hello grandmother." He said wearily.

Seito looked up from his chopping curiously.

After several moments of garbled chatter on the other end of the line, Subaru answered at last. "That's not a decision I would make for someone else."

More chatter on the other end whose words Seito could not quite pick out but the tone was clearly upset. Subaru did not seem terribly pleased either as he frowned as the talking continued.

"Why?"

Seito scooted over on the counter a little bit, straining to hear the other end of the conversation.

"I can't. I have work that day and Seito has school." He answered flatly.

The argument continued for a few more minutes before Subaru conceded with a sigh. "Fine. Next Saturday then. Yes. Yes. Okay. Goodbye Grandmother."

He sighed as he hung up the phone then rejoined Seito, who immediately went back to chopping as though he had been busy the whole time.

"My grandmother would like to meet you." Subaru explained

Seito stopped pretending to be busy. "Why don't you like her?"

Subaru gave him a surprised look. "What do you mean?"

"You didn't seem very happy to be talking to her, much less going to her house."

Subaru turned back to the vegetables, his brow furrowing. "It isn't that I don't like her. I love her. But it's just… difficult to be around her."

"How come?" Seito could tell that he was hitting something Subaru did not want to talk about but he was curious to see if Subaru would keep his promise not to lie and to explain things properly to him.

Subaru hesitated and for a moment, Seito was certain that he would win their bet. Then he began to speak.

"I haven't been back at the main house for a long time. For years now, I've been caught up in everything that has happened in Tokyo and I've been avoiding seeing her for so long that I feel really guilty about running away from what's been happening with my family I guess."

"Oh. Do your mom and dad call you like that too?"

Subaru shook his head. "No, they died when I was very young. I was raised by my grandmother- the one who called."

Seito studied him carefully. "You lost your parents when you were little?"

Subaru gave him a curious glance and a nod. "Anyway, next weekend we'll take the train to Kyoto to visit the main Sumeragi house."

Seito considered this carefully as he returned to preparing dinner. "Am I a Sumeragi?" He wondered aloud.

Subaru raised an eyebrow. "Well you still have your father's last name. That didn't legally change either when your aunt became your guardian or when I did."

"But that doesn't answer the question does it."

Subaru shrugged. "Do you want to be a Sumeragi?"

Seito paused and thought about it, fiddling with the edge of the knife he had been using. Suzume would have told him to be careful, that he would cut himself. Subaru was watching him toy with it out of the corner of his eye without a word of caution.

"I want to be like you." He answered truthfully.

Subaru nearly dropped the pot he was carrying to the stove. He quickly recovered it, before more than a few drops were spilled and set it down carefully, staring at the wallpaper above the stove for so long that Seito began to wonder if he had said something wrong. Finally he turned around with a sad smile.

"I think you can do a little better than me." He replied softly.

.

.

It was the kind of day where light filtered weakly through the clouds, washing out the colors of the world, and a half-hearted chill hung damply in the air, giving one the impression of being trapped in a kind of non-place at a non-time.

Seito walked quietly beside him, carefully analyzing every bit of scenery every step of the way and Subaru almost had the sense that he was sizing up the Sumeragi estate the way one would size up an opponent before a fight.

He was quickly distracted from wondering what was going on in the boy's mind though.

"Subaru."

He repressed a wince as his grandmother called his name and immediately felt guilt wash over him as he caught sight of her. She seemed to drown in the wheelchair now, having grown so thin and fragile. Yet she carried herself with rigid formality and pride, despite the strain it seemed to put on her back to hold herself so straight.

"Grandmother." He replied with a bow. "This is Seito-kun." Seito bowed respectfully, turning formality into grace more than rigidity.

She acknowledged them both with a nod then summoned a servant. "Kyoko, please show our young guest around the estate while I talk with my grandson." She ordered as Subaru took a seat across from her.

Seito frowned slightly at being separated from Subaru but followed her without a word.

As soon as he and the servant were out of sight, Lady Sumeragi immediately rounded on Subaru. "What are you _thinking_?"

Subaru stared at his hands in his lap.

"Adopting a child out of nowhere like this? Yes we need an heir to the Sumeragi clan but…"

Subaru's head snapped up. "Whoever said he would be the heir?"

Her eyes and lips both narrowed. "I heard that you were training him in onmyoujitsu. Is this untrue?"

"No, I am training him."

"Then for what purpose?"

"He shows a natural aptitude and curiosity for it that could become dangerous to himself and others if not handled appropriately." Subaru answered flatly. He had no desire to explain the specifics of how he had discovered Seito's "aptitude and curiosity" but there was no use in denying the basic explanation.

It didn't appear to be a good enough reason for Lady Sumeragi however as she gripped the armrests so hard that her bony fingers turned white.

"You intend to train him to be your heir in a different way then?"

Subaru clenched his own fists. It had crossed his mind. He knew now how the Sakurazukamori was chosen, how the position was passed on and thus he knew very well that there was a chance Seito would not have any choice in the matter. However it was far from his intention to guide the boy down such a dark path without knowing for sure what would become of him along the way or what waited for him at the end.

"I don't have intentions for him." Subaru answered evenly. "I will train him in onmyoujitsu to the best of my ability and what Seito chooses to do with that knowledge is his own choice."

"What if he makes the wrong one?"

"How could he possibly make the wrong one?"

The look she gave him stung but he continued anyway.

"If he chooses it for himself then it's the right path for him." Subaru explained quietly.

"And what of you?"

"What about me?"

Lady Sumeragi sighed in strained exhasperation. "Subaru, you have kept yourself just barely above water for the past fifteen years or so. You barely take care of yourself. Can you really take care of a child as well? It's not as if you are getting married and will have help." She raised an eyebrow. "Are you?"

"No."

"Then how are you going to raise this child all alone?"

"I'll manage."

She shook her head. "Assuming that you can manage just the two of you, what about other people?"

Subaru gave her a baffled look.

"Single fathers are not exactly common, Subaru."

"I know that. I'm not his father."

"Then what are you?"

"His guardian. His mentor." Subaru hesitated before adding, "His friend."

She frowned disapprovingly. "Subaru, this is ridiculous. You can't just-"

The giggle of a child momentarily distracted both of them and they looked up to see Seito cheerfully licking an ice cream cone that a servant appeared to have just handed him on the other side of the courtyard.

Lady Sumeragi shook her head and turned back toward her grandson, ready to tell him off once more, then noticed the small smile tugging at the corner of his lips as he watched the boy. Her heart wrenched as she tried to remember the last time she had her grandson smile, knowing full well that it had been more than fifteen years.

The whole situation was completely ludicrous. Subaru couldn't possibly take care of a child in the state he had been in for the past decade and a half and even if he could what effect would it end up having on him? She had expected it to be negative, to see him succumbing to the pressures that would undoubtedly weigh down upon him.

And yet…

That smile. When he was a child, Subaru's smile had always been so warm, so understanding and endearing. It was what had made him so appealing to both the living and the dead, what drew people to him and made them want to spill their entire life stories to him for better or for worse, knowing he would not judge or reject. That candlelit smile had gone out when Hokuto died and never returned. She had thought for years after that that maybe it would if he could only get past the tragedy that had struck, if he could only relinquish his obsession with that foul Sakurazukamori. Then things had spiraled completely out of control and since the previous Sakurazukamori's death she had only seen her grandson a handful of times. It was enough to realize that warm little smile was gone and the ashes long since gone cold.

Or at least she had thought so.

The way he smiled at that boy though, it was only a ghost, a shadow of his former smile but it was enough. Just a tiny glowing ember half-buried, but it was something.

"The papers are signed, Grandmother." Subaru said softly as he turned back to her, the smile fading away again. "I'm Seito's legal guardian and I will not give that up, nor will I cease his training."

The determination in his voice surprised her. There was… life to him, for the first time in so long…

"Train him well." She choked.

His eyes widened slightly but he recognized the acceptance and did not push it, merely acknowledged it with a silent nod as the servant girl and Seito returned to them.

Seito looked between them with the perceptive eyes of a child, studying them both as if by doing so he could replay the conversation somehow. She bade both Subaru and he formal farewells, asking that they come to visit her again soon. Subaru hesitated, having been avoiding the family for months or years at a time lately but stiffly agreed.

Lady Sumeragi watched them leave, her heart soaring as Seito said something that caused Subaru to turn just enough that she could see him smile again at the boy.

As they walked through the front gates though, Seito walking just a step behind Subaru, a swallowtail with wings of silky ebony lighted on the boy's shoulder. He turned his head to glance at it and from her vantage point, Lady Sumeragi could just make out the small dark smile he gave the creature.

She shuddered.

.

_Author's Note: About butterflies!_

_So butterflies have some interesting symbolism tied in with them in a lot of cultures around the world. In Japan they're considered personifications of the soul according to what I found. In Ancient Greek, the word for butterfly could also mean "soul" or "mind". In southern Germany, they were believed to herald the imminent birth of a child because of an association with rebirth. In the Philippines, black butterflies are thought to be omens of death. What seemed to be a common thread in what I found was that they are so often thought to have a connection to life, death, and rebirth, a connection to souls, if you will. This seemed to me to be particularly appropriate for Seito. :P I actually keep wanting to draw a picture of him surrounded by black swallowtails for some reason but we'll see if that ever happens. XD_


	9. Chapter 9

_Author's Note: I'm sorry for vanishing for so long guys! ^^; Things have been... messy. Anyway! Finally another chapter and the first one in which we get to see a little glimpse of what's going on in dear little Seito's head! :D Enjoy I hope!_

_.  
_

It had been the first time since Seito had come to live with him that this had been necessary and Subaru was loathe to return home with blood on his hands but it had to be done anyway. He could feel the tree's thirst at the back of his mind and he had already learned from experience in the earlier years of his duty as Sakurazukamori that the thirst would not go away if ignored but rather would increase until it consumed Subaru as well.

So he obeyed its silent command and went out for the kill, returning home with a heavy heart. He wondered what Seito would think of him if he knew about this particular side job. He was less afraid of rejection out of disgust or fear and more afraid that Seito would take an interest in it. Subaru was less than keen on the idea of Seito becoming a cold-blooded murderer like his predecessor.

He worried about this even as he stumbled into the apartment, already beginning to feel the effects of the backlash. He still resolutely refused to sacrifice any other creature's well-being for his own, determined that as the perpetrator, he was getting what he deserved, less than really, each and every time he killed.

He deserved it.

That's what he told himself as the room spun and his stomach rolled.

He deserved it.

That was what he told himself once again as he stumbled into the bathroom and into the tub, standing under cold water as diluted blood ran down the drain. He shivered and wasn't sure if it was from the cold or the fever that was already slamming him full-force.

He deserved…

.

.

When Subaru came to he was met by a pair of amber eyes looming over him.

"Are you sick?" A little mouth from somewhere below the eyes inquired bluntly. A small hand suddenly pressed against his forehead. "I think you're sick."

Subaru blinked and tried to speak but only managed a hoarse croak.

"Sei-" But the word devolved into a wracking cough that shook his entire body as Seito watched impassively, waiting for the spasm to pass.

"How come you're wearing all your clothes in the bathtub?" Seito inquired, tugging curiously at the leather overcoat. "Are you hurt?" He looked up suddenly and for a split second, Subaru could have sworn that concern flashed in the boy's eyes.

He shook his head and immediately regretted the action as the room spun and his head felt the need to simulate a roller coaster ride. He groaned and tried weakly to pull himself up by the edge of the tub. Seito watched his feeble attempts for a moment before slipping one arm under Subaru's elbow. Before he realized what was happening, the boy had pulled him to a more or less standing position.

"Wha-"

He looked down and through blurry eyes saw that Seito was shaking slightly with the effort of supporting most of his weight. "You gotta step over the edge." He told Subaru through clenched teeth.

Dazed, Subaru followed but as soon as they made it to the doorway he clutched at the frame, trying weakly to push Seito away.

"Don't be silly." Seito dragged him down the hallway to his bedroom, only letting go to allow Subaru to collapse onto the bed itself. "Hold on." He padded back out of the room and returned a few seconds later with a bundle of towels.

Subaru gratefully pressed one towel to his face and was surprised when he felt another towel draped over his head. He looked up at Seito who had clearly just thrown it over him with confusion.

"Aunt Suzume always said you shouldn't go to bed with wet hair; you'll get sick." He explained matter-of-factly. "And you're already sick so you shouldn't make it worse." He tugged once again on the sleeve of Subaru's overcoat. "And you should get out of these wet clothes. I'm gonna go find some medicine."

"But you don't have to-" Subaru began to protest, but only got a stern look for his efforts.

Even in delirium, Subaru couldn't help but be slightly amused at the bossy tone the boy had suddenly adopted. As soon as Seito was gone, he fumbled with the clinging, soaked clothes, peeling them away from chilled, feverish skin and crawled into bed, sinking almost immediately into dazed dreams.

.

.

When Seito was in preschool he always had trouble sleeping during naptime. He always found himself lying on the mat, bored and wishing for something better to do with his time. He still distinctly recalled amusing himself by watching the other students sleep and noticing their little habits, like who sucked their thumb, who wet themselves and had to be discreetly led out to be cleaned up by the teachers, who talked in their sleep, etc. At first he just enjoyed counting the number of students who did each and figuring out which habit had the most participants but as the school year wore on he began to use the observations to his advantage.

He was never a particularly large child and so bullies thought he would be an easy target. It didn't help either that the fact that he neither smiled nor frowned as a small child freaked them out. So Seito learned to keep them away with the threat of exposure of their darkest secrets. When one bully tried to call his bluff, Seito didn't just tell the whole school he was a bed-wetter. He waited until the next naptime, watched the bully like a hawk until the moment when a teacher took his hand, to lead him to the restroom to get cleaned up, then Seito pretended to wake up from a nightmare with a scream, waking up the entire class to see. No one ever bullied him again after that.

He had continued watching people sleep though, even more intrigued after discovering the power one could hold over an unconscious person. Something else he had noticed at the time was how young everyone looked. Granted, in retrospect they were young but even then they looked more like babies without their cribs. He thought it was just the students in his class but he noticed a year or two later that when Aunt Suzume fell asleep on the couch once that she looked younger as well.

She had had the lines on her face that all adults had; the little grooves that served as the footpaths of time, pooling in the corners of their eyes and around their mouths, wandering across their foreheads and leaving tiny trenches. However, pausing to watch her sleep for a moment, Seito had noticed that they were all far less pronounced when she slept as her features relaxed. That combined with the vulnerability of unconsciousness rendered her appearance several years younger than she really was.

He wondered why when Subaru slept his lines didn't go away.

Sitting on the bed beside him, Seito watched the man carefully as his brow furrowed even more than it normally did when he was awake.

He was a strange person, this Subaru. Seito had long since decided this and he wasn't sure whether or not he liked it still. It made him difficult to read, to predict. He had gotten so good at predicting people that he was not entirely sure what to do with someone this mysterious.

For one thing, he wondered where Subaru had been. He realized based on the clothes that Subaru must have gone out of the apartment the other night when he first arrived home so deathly ill, but how had he managed to slip out without waking Seito up? He prided himself on being so alert normally, it really irked him that something had gotten past his attention.

He supposed it could be because Subaru was an onmyouji. Maybe he had some sort of powers that Seito didn't know about yet that would let him go places without being detected. It was entirely possible, but it didn't explain _why_ Subaru had left in the middle of the night. Or why he had returned smelling faintly of blood although Seito could not find a single scratch on him.

Then there was the illness. Subaru had been perfectly healthy earlier that day as they had run through some more training together. It was possible that the illness had set in later and only hit him that evening but something about it seemed off to Seito.

No, he had a feeling that it was all connected and he had long since learned to trust his instincts. Subaru was hiding something and Seito was determined to find out what.

.

.

Subaru came to in a mess of tangled, sweat-soaked sheets. Judging by the bloody tint to the light in the room , it was late afternoon.

A small dark-haired head poked into the room at the sound of stirring.

"Seito-kun?"

"You're up." The boy observed bluntly.

"How long was I asleep?"

"About three days."

"What!" Subaru bolted upright and regretted it as the room spun, although not as badly as it had done a few nights before. "Three days?"

"Yeah, you were bad off." Seito vanished from the doorway and returned a few seconds later with a glass of water.

"But… what have you been doing in the meantime?"

Seito gave him a confused look. "What do you mean what have I been doing? I went to school and I did my homework and I did the practice spells you told me to do."

"But what have you been doing for food…" Guilt and nausea twisted in Subaru's stomach at the realization that he had essentially left Seito completely defenseless.

The boy merely sniffed though. "Well I'm not a French chef but I can kind of cook." He informed Subaru somewhat defensively.

Subaru stared at his hands, wondering what the hell he had been thinking. He _knew_ that the jobs made him sick like this. He had known that ever since he started. Why hadn't he realized that this time he had someone else he was responsible for looking after, and that he need to make some kind of arrangements? How irresponsible and negligent could he be…

"I'm so sorry Seito-kun."

"Hmph. Then don't get sick again."

Subaru gave him a feeble smile. "Okay." He agreed, but he wondered silently what he was going to do the next time the tree demanded a victim.


	10. Chapter 10

_Author's Note: Yeah so I'm reading about Columbine right now and how much of a sociopath Eric Harris was... definitely giving me some ideas for Seito... *shifty eyes* He's going to be an interesting teenager. Meanwhile, I'd like to apologize for my long hiatus. -_- Between boy drama, wedding (not my own thank goodness), moving, new job, and computer crashing and being gone for a while, writing got put way on hold. Sorry guys! ^^;_

_.  
_

Chapter 10

The job had taken a little longer than Subaru had expected; rarely did the victims fight back at all, much less with a little magic. He sighed as he opened the door to the apartment, ready to just collapse into bed but froze when he realized the lights were on in the living room.

"Seito?" he called, his senses tingling as he recognized the feel of a recent spell.

When no answer came he cautiously crept around the corner, a spell at the ready and swore under his breath when he saw candles in the corners of the room and Seito asleep in the center, curled into a ball as if in pain. Subaru carefully pushed through the barriers, doing his best not to fray them more than they already were, knowing that if he simply ripped through them it would rip through Seito's mind.

"Seito." He called softly. He didn't expect the boy to awaken but there was always a chance that he hadn't slipped that far into the dream yet.

It came as no surprise that the boy didn't move or respond at all; if he was going to try something dangerous as this, it would have broken character for Seito to do so half-heartedly. He knelt beside the boy and rested his fingertips against his temples, feeling the cold, heavy pressure of slipping into deep dark waters.

It took effort to move at first, even once Subaru was able to orient himself better. There was the sense that gravity was stronger here somehow, pulling him more insistently toward the ground, determined to keep him on his knees. Subaru had been in a lot of minds before and seen a lot of distortions of reality until now but he was not sure he had ever entered one that had managed to alter the laws of physics this drastically before. Something damp brushed against his cheek as Subaru struggled to take a few steps forward and he dragged his gaze from the ground to see a forest of dead sakura trees, their blood-soaked blossom petals swirling through the chilly air in an eerie mockery of snow.

"Seito?" He called out, but felt his voice did not reach very far, as though the air were so thick it was muffling even sound. Subaru shivered against the cold and closed his eyes, opening up the rest of his senses for any sign of life. Somewhere far away he could just barely hear the flutter of a small, slow heartbeat and he followed it, holding his breath between every quiet pulse, terrified that it would be the last.

After several moments of wandering, he came upon a tightly-packed grove of sakura trees, covered with tangled spider webs. He shuddered and started to back away when he noticed the bundle of spider silk in the middle of one enormous web.

The frail little heartbeat skipped a beat and Subaru jerked, realizing it was coming from the bundle in the web. He pulled a slip of paper out of his coat pocket, a spell on the tip of his tongue when a voice from the trees stopped him dead in his tracks.

"You will burn him too if you do that." It called with a cold laugh.

Subaru froze as he stared at the eight gleaming eyes hanging a few feet away from the boy. He slowly lowered the paper and bowed respectfully.

"We have trespassed here. I apologize."

The spider laughed. "You have trespassed, but I shall forgive you this time as you arrived with no ill intent." The creature eased its bulbous body onto the web, the silky strands trembling at the sudden weight. Subaru hoped for one moment that it would shake Seito loose and he could catch him but luck was not on his side.

The spider seemed to recognize what he had been thinking and laughed again. "But this one. This one has come here bearing malice with the blood of my children on his hands."

"He's only a child…" Subaru protested feebly.

The spider regarded him slowly, every eye trained upon his, measuring him up.

"Children are often the cruelest. Crudest perhaps, in their cruelty, but no less evil." She perched thoughtfully over the bundle in the center of her web. "Of course this one is not an ordinary child so his evil has quite a different flavor to it. It's much more… refined, in some ways." Venom dripped from one of her fangs onto the bundle and Subaru repressed a wince as the sizzle of burning silk hissed through the sakura trees.

"He is selfish this one." The spider crooned to the bundle. "Coldly, and beautifully selfish. This young one _knows_ how to get what he wants most of the time." She lightly tapped the side of the slowly breathing silk. "I appreciate those who value themselves. Had he not been so cruel to my children and my kind, I may have claimed him as my own anyway. And oh how he fought." She nodded to Subaru. "Are you his sire?"

"No." He replied automatically.

"Pity. You might have been proud of the way he fought. For one so young and inexperienced."

"But he posed no real threat to you." Subaru added flatly.

"Of course not." She laughed. "But he was amusing to play with. I do appreciate a participatory toy." She paused before adding, "And he did kill a few of my underlings here."

The weight of the words sank in, as Subaru was well aware that most who trespassed into the territory of spider demons did not even live long enough to realize what they had done, much less took a few demons with them. "But he…"

The spider shook her head dismissively. "Is only a child? He is young in body but not in mind or soul. And in all of these things, he is a natural born killer."

"Killing is a choice." Subaru replied firmly. "No one is born with the desire to kill."

The spider laughed. "If that were true, then many creatures, like us spiders, or the hawk, or the cat would not eat." She gave Subaru a sinister smile. "And humans are not at the top of the food chain through virtue of their pacifism."

Before Subaru could protest that humans were also some of the only animals with a concept of preservation toward other animals, the demon shook her head. "Besides, I was not talking about his _wanting_ to kill, but of his _needing_ to use the skills he was born with."

"No one is born being skilled with a weapon or spells or their hands."

"No, those are skills he'll have to learn." The spider acknowledged. "Well, learn more of that is. However, what he was born with was the complete lack of empathy that makes one a most efficient predator. No conscience," she crooned to the ensnared boy, "means no second thoughts".

"Enough." Subaru cut her off sharply.

"Oooh, what's wrong? Don't like the idea that you love someone who will never ever be capable of returning that kind of feeling, or any other for that matter?"

"What do you want for him."

"Hm?"

Subaru marched to the edge of the web. "You like your trade-offs. What do you want in exchange for Seito?"

"Seito? Is that his name? How appropriate."

Subaru winced. He mentally kicked himself for violating one of the very first rules he had ever learned as an onmyouji.

"But no, the debt is his to repay, not yours."

"Wait!" Subaru cried as she bared her fangs once more over the bundle. "What if I could give you something that was his once?"

"Once?"

The spider eyed him suspiciously for a long moment before breaking into a slow grin. "Yes, I think I see what you mean. And you know, I think that will do nicely."

.

.

Seito feverishly blinked awake, and immediately began struggling with the blankets tucked around him, confused when they easily gave way, tumbling quietly to the floor in surrender. It took a few seconds for him to register that he was in his own bed. Had he gotten away from the spider demon himself? He checked himself over for injuries and found nothing. Wary for any signs of a trap, he silently slid out of bed and padded down the hallway to the kitchen, glancing over his back every few seconds, expecting to see the beast behind him again.

Subaru was standing at the kitchen counter preparing rice balls when Seito tip-toed in. He didn't say a word, even though Seito knew that no matter how quiet he had been, Subaru always knew when someone entered the room. It made it difficult to sneak around with him. He wondered if Subaru was just tired though and concluded that everything else seemed normal. Until Subaru turned around.

Seito nearly jerked at the sight of the bandage over his right eye. "What happened?" He asked bluntly.

"That's what I would like to know." Subaru gestured toward the kitchen table and took a seat across from him. One eye as it turned out was all that he needed to give Seito an uncomfortably penetrating stare that had even him almost squirming. "Why did you try that spell?"

"I just wanted to see if it worked, so I could show off to you next lesson." Seito promptly lied.

Subaru didn't say a word and his face remained expressionless.

"What happened to your eye?" Seito asked at long last.

Again Subaru did not say a word, but his remaining eye clouded with sadness.

"You lost it getting me back didn't you?"

"I traded it for you. Subaru stood up. "I've got a client I'm supposed to meet in half an hour; I really need to get going."

Seito sat at the kitchen table for a long time after he left, wondering.


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

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He had lost the eye.

Subaru stared at the back of his hand as he gripped a glass of sake. The horrible, bare, unblemished skin taunted him as he did so. The scars had been gone for years and yet they had been hard enough to lose. The only comfort he had had was that each time he looked in the mirror there was that eye…

And now it was gone. The last remnant of Seishirou was gone.

He threw back another gulp and wondered for the thousandth time that night why he had done it. Or why it had been so easy at the time to throw away the only thing that meant anything to him anymore. His _life_, the entire reason he had not simply killed himself after Seishirou had died, had been because of the legacy he knew he was expected to carry on. Not the tradition of being Sakurazukamori; that legacy meant little to nothing to Subaru. However, Fuuma had told him that so long as Subaru was alive, that eye meant that Seishirou was too.

He had killed Seishirou all over again by giving it away. And why? He stared long and hard at the sake. Why?

A soft patter of footsteps distracted him from his semi-drunken reverie and he looked up to see Seito standing at the kitchen doorway. Shame and guilt washed over him as he realized what a great example he must be setting, sitting here drowning his sorrows in alcohol. Yes, that was the message to send an impressionable child.

He expected Seito to look down on him for this, to scoff or frown or something. Instead the boy simply gave him a long level look, as if sizing him up almost, and then pattered to the other side of the kitchen table and taking a seat opposite Subaru, folding his hands neatly on the table.

"Why did the spider demon let you have me back in exchange for an eye?"

Subaru was taken aback by the question. "What?"

Seito calmly repeated the question. "A whole human versus one eye? Why?" Seito pressed. "What was so special about your eye that she considered it equal to my life?"

Subaru considered lying, making something up, anything up, anything to avoid telling the truth but he remembered that he had promised never to lie to Seito.

"The eye had great value to me… because someone that I cared deeply about left it behind for me when they died. I lost my own years ago."

"Someone left their eye behind for you?" Seito asked incredulously. "Why?"

"He didn't like that I had lost mine." Subaru skirted the question as best he could. It was the truth, just not the entire story. He wasn't sure Seito needed to hear the entire story just yet, if ever.

"You really should go back to bed." He pressed before Seito could question him any further. "You have school in the morning."

Seito eyed the bottle of sake as if to say "You're really going to pull the 'responsible adult' thing on me right now?" but Subaru held his ground. He wasn't so drunk that he had lost the use of his faculties. The two of them stared at one another for a long silent moment but something in Seito seemed to give suddenly and he slid gracefully out of the chair and padded back to the doorway.

Subaru began to heave a sigh of relief when the boy paused and turned around.

"Thank you." He said simply and disappeared before Subaru could say another word.

_Why?_ His mind echoed the question once again.

_That's why._ He responded quietly and poured out the rest of the sake before turning out the kitchen lights and going to bed himself.

.

.

Seito frowned at the ground in front of him. There was more to Subaru's story than he was telling, Seito was sure of it. The question was just what?

Spiders held grudges. He remembered reading up on that when he was researching the spell to enter the shadow realm and that was why he had figured that he would just take this one shot to eradicate them or let it kill him in the process. Either way he would win, they couldn't torment him if he was dead and then there wouldn't be anyone left to hold a grudge against for them. Obviously, he had lost to the spider demon and that was not so surprising he realized now, reflecting on how it was really a rather foolish idea from the beginning. He should have at least waited until he was a full-fledged onmyouji before taking on an ancient demon like that.

In any case, Subaru had stepped in and thrown some sort of wrench in the system. He must have known something that Seito could not have predicted and that, that right there bothered Seito.

One measly eye for a whole human? How could that have possibly been an even trade?

He let himself into the apartment and found a note from Subaru explaining that he had been called away to a job that would likely take all evening. Seito read it over carefully then neatly folded the note up and tossed it in the garbage. Perfect.

He put away his school belongings in their place next to his desk, washed his hands, wiped the countertop down so there were no stray puddles of water, then pattered into the only room in the apartment that he had only ever entered once.

The entire apartment was somber and simple but Subaru's bedroom took the concept to an extreme. The drapes were a heavy, charcoal material that hung limply over the window, half-heartedly drowning out the light, suffocating the bedroom in strained semi-darkness. Seito's fingers twitched slightly as he passed the bed, fighting the urge to straighten the crumpled sheets that lay in a viciously twisted pile at one corner.

There was hardly anything in the room. The bed and a small dress comprised the entirety of the furniture and there were no pictures on the walls, no rugs on the cold wooden floor, no personal artifacts lying on top of the dresser. It hardly seemed like someone lived here. Then again, Seito sometimes wondered if Subaru ever really lived or if he simply existed. Looking at the bedroom now, he suspected the latter was more the case.

He wasn't surprised then when he opened the closet door to find the pile of boxes that had been in the room when Subaru had moved in months ago. The first box was full of old clothes, including the hideous red jacket he had found when they were first moving in. Seito pulled out each piece of clothing, but found nothing of particular interest in that box so he replaced the contents and moved onto the next one which turned out to be full of random things like old books with yellowed pages and crumpled receipts. One in particular caught Seito's eye as it appeared to be from a nightclub that was so well known for having some of the supposedly best strippers in Tokyo. Seito was rather amused by this discovery until he noticed that it was stapled to paperwork regarding a job that had been carried out there during the day. He sighed in disappointment, then continued to rummage.

It was not until the fourth box that sticking out of the edge of a worn out notebook, he noticed a photograph. Seito was intrigued as Subaru never kept pictures around the apartment, didn't appear to having anything like a scrapbook or photo album, nothing to keep any kind of pictorial evidence that his life had been lived. It was as if Subaru wanted desperately to be forgotten, to fade away like a shadow come nightfall.

Seito pulled out the photograph, noting that it was slightly crumpled and smudged with fingerprints, as if someone had run their hands over it often, at least once upon a time if not recently. At first he thought he didn't recognize anyone in the picture. It was the red jacket that caught his eye and Seito realized with a small jolt, that the boy in the middle with the big goofy grin and sparkling green eyes was undoubtedly a young Subaru.

There was a teenage girl with a matching face and equally messy hair beside him, squeezing his arm like she was worried it was about to fall off. She looked like she was laughing and the only reason Seito could tell the two apart, aside from the obvious differences in the chest region, was that there was no reservation in her expression. Subaru looked almost hesitant to be happy even in this picture.

But he was happy. Seito could not seem to pry his eyes away from that smile for the longest time as he realized that he had never ever seen Subaru smile like that, nor did he even imagine that Subaru _could_ smile like that.

At long last, Seito's eyes wandered to the left side of the picture, following the hand resting on Subaru's shoulder.

_The eye had great value to me… because someone that I cared deeply about left it behind for me when they died._

It was hard to tell from the way the light glinted off of his glasses in this picture, but it looked like the man had both of his eyes still. Seito stared at it a little longer, holding the photo under a lamp just to get a better look in the light. Then he quietly replaced everything but the photograph, taking it into his bedroom and tucking it in the space between his dresser and the wall before going into the bathroom and climbing up on the counter.

He leaned in close to the mirror, as close as he could without fogging up the glass with his breath. Seito normally did not particularly like to look at himself very much and he was not that keen on doing so now but he needed to see something.

A pair of amber eyes stared back at him from the mirror and he felt the weight of understanding sink slowly in. Of course, a light brown was not all that unusual a color, and true, the cool edge to his own expression could be him subconsciously mimicking that of the man in the photograph. It could just be a coincidence, he reasoned.

_There is no coincidence. Only hitsuzen._

Seito could not recall who had told him those words, only that he believed her whole-heartedly in a way that he had never believed in anyone or anything before.

He leaned back from the mirror and returned to his bedroom to do his homework.

.

.

It was late at night, all was quiet in the apartment and both of its occupants were asleep, however not for long.

A crash in the room next door startled Subaru awake and he threw back the covers, dashing into Seito's bedroom. The boy was standing on the opposite side of the room from his bed, glaring at it.

"Seito?" Subaru asked slowly. "What's wrong?"

"There was a spider on my pillow." The boy grumbled. "And you said not to kill spiders anymore so I tried to catch it and get rid of it but it got away. And now I'm never going to be able to find it."

Subaru stared at the boy for a long time, confused. Something seemed… off but he could not quite put his finger on what. At long last it struck him. For all that Seito was standing there calm and poised, he was paler than usual. As tiny a detail as it was, it hit Subaru with the force of truck slamming into him.

Seito was scared.

That he could be frightened had never once occurred to Subaru and he fought to keep his voice steady as he spoke up. "Why don't you just sleep in my bed tonight?"

Seito gave him a look that indicated quite clearly what he thought of Subaru's sanity.

"There are no spiders in my bed."

"You don't know that for sure." Seito snapped.

"No but what are the odds?"

The boy wavered.

"And even if we do see one, there will be two people trying to catch it."

Seito frowned. "Fine."

He reluctantly followed Subaru back into his bedroom and promptly curled up on the very edge of the bed, as far away from Subaru as he could possibly get without hanging off of the mattress, his back turned to him. Subaru felt the corners of his mouth twitch as he sank back down into a deep sleep, noticing as he did that there were tiny flecks of white heralding the year's first snowfall dancing outside the window.

.

.

Subaru shifted slightly, still half-asleep and froze as he felt something warm against his chest. He cautiously opened his eyes and immediately thought that he must still be dreaming. He blinked a few times and as his senses all came to, he realized that no, this was in fact real life. Seito really was snuggled up against him.

He watched the gentle rise and fall of the boy's small shoulder for a while, baffled by this bizarre show of affection when he realized that Seito was shivering. Subaru had been so numbly oblivious to his own discomfort when it came to things like the cold that he had forgotten to get a heavier or extra blanket for his bed when the temperatures had begun to drop. Curled up on the other side of the bed under only a thin summer blanket, Seito must have been freezing, Subaru realized with a twinge of guilt.

Just as he was thinking this, the boy shuddered once more and pressed closer, nuzzling his face against Subaru's shoulder. Subaru felt the corners of his lips twitch once more and moved his free arm to wrap around Seito, hoping to keep him a little warmer.

Seito's eyes flew open and he stared at Subaru in bewilderment for a moment before squirming away. "Don't touch me." He said icily before hopping out of the bed and padding off down the hallway to his own bedroom to get dressed.

Subaru stared at the doorway, baffled. What had he done?

.


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

Subaru was nervous. He had never gotten into trouble at school when he was young and even Hokuto had only caused minor infractions, mostly dress-code related. Their grandmother had never been called, and Subaru had never been to a parent-teacher conference before.

He wondered what Seito had done.

Today it was actually a job in the vicinity that had him nearby when he got the phone call from the school. The ghosts of a family that had died trying to escape Tokyo too late during the final battle haunted a complex nearby and he had been called in to subdue them. The job had been a success but every step back had rung with the sound of thunder, flashed white with lightning, and smelled viciously of rivers of blood.

Yet the sound of laughing children as they played in front of the school, rejoicing in the afternoon sunlight was by far more nauseating. Uncomfortable around so many innocent smiles, feeling vaguely as though he would taint them all simply by being near them, Subaru hastily scanned the yard for Seito. In seconds he saw him a few yards away, quietly examining a solitary tree that stood in front of the school.

Before Subaru could call out to him however, a little girl with satin ribbons in her hair paused on her way out of the school and turned to Seito.

"You're always staring at that tree. You're so weird" She addressed him tauntingly.

Seito turned to her slowly with a cold smile and Subaru felt his stomach lurch at the familiarity of it. "What does it really mean, to be 'weird'?"

"Not normal." The girl answered, propping her hands on her hips defiantly.

"And what is the value of being normal?"

"Being like everyone else."

"Everyone else?" Seito raised an eyebrow in amusement.

"Yes."

"You don't want to be normal. You talk about wanting to marry a prince and be his princess. That's not 'normal'. Few people are princesses. You ridicule me for being 'weird' but really you just resent that I achieved what you were too timid to even strive for." He paused and smiled. "It's okay though you know. Because fear of the unusual is normal. And that's exactly what you are." He leaned in close to the girl who tried slowly to back away. "You'll go on being normal and I'll go on being weird because that is exactly what we are. No more, no less. Everything can only be what is in its own nature to be. The world is exactly as it should be."

Subaru squirmed slightly at that last remark. He was exactly as he should be? Did Seito really think that or was he saying this just to unnerve the little girl?

The girl hurried away, to her mother's waiting car and Subaru approached the boy cautiously. "Wanna show me to your classroom?" He asked, hoping that Seito couldn't hear the faintness in his own voice.

The teacher looked up from her desk as they entered and plastered on a forced smile as she stood to greet them. "Sumeragi-san, a pleasure." Then she turned to the boy and in a slightly higher-pitched voice suggested that he play out on the jungle gym while he waited.

Seito balked at this, glaring at her until Subaru laid a hand on his shoulder in warning.

"But Subaru, I-" He began, cutting himself off at the look Subaru gave him and leaving the classroom with a disgruntled expression.

"He calls you by your given name?" The teacher asked with surprise and Subaru realized belatedly that she was shocked rather by the lack of honorific.

"Yes. You said you had something you wanted to speak to me about?" He hoped to distract her.

"Oh yes…" The teacher suddenly looked incredibly uncomfortable, wringing her hands. "We had a bit of an incident today."

"Was there a fight?" Subaru wondered, thinking of the little girl's attempt at bullying in the courtyard.

"No, nothing like that. It's- well I'll show you." The teacher led him to a craft corner. "We were doing a project today you see, where we were making those little strings of paper dolls, you know the ones that look like they're holding hands? And decorating them like different people to celebrate diversity yet unity."

Subaru nodded, wondering how on earth Seito could have possibly caused a scene making paper dolls.

They passed several strings of dolls, all messily colored and choppily cut with loose bits of paper hanging off of them until they came to one particular string of them. It was not merely the impeccably coloring or the neatly perfect edges that gave this one away as Seito's. It was the hole right in the center of each and every smiling little doll's chest.

"Why…"

"I don't know." The teacher nearly wailed. "He was doing just fine, just sitting there doing the assignment quietly like he always does, when I heard one of the other kid's scream and saw that he had stabbed them all with the scissors. When I asked him why he only said that it was because people really were all the same."

Subaru's eyes clouded slightly. "They all have human hearts." He murmured.

"Is that something _you_ taught him?" The teacher backed away slightly as if she were afraid Subaru was on the brink of turning into a horrible monster intent upon eating her whole.

"No." He answered mildly. "He didn't have to be taught that." He sighed. "I don't know what led to this to be honest."

The teacher looked away, biting her lower lip, looking like she was trying to steel herself to deliver bad news.

"Acting out…" she began slowly, "is not that uncommon." She took a deep breath and, staring at her shoes, added, "especially when children don't have a proper set of parents."

Subaru raised an eyebrow. "You think this is because I'm raising him alone?"

"With all due respect, Sumeragi-san, there is only so much a father can teach. Boys need mothers too to teach them compassion."

"Interesting. Did you ask Seito what he thinks about having just one parent?" Subaru inquired with genuine curiosity.

"Of course not!" The teacher snapped her head up, frustration tumbling over her features. "Children don't realize the effect that their household is having on them! They aren't that self-aware!"

Subaru allowed a long silent pause to pass as she turned red with embarrassment before softly answering. "Even if the average child really were that ignorant," he paused again, making his opinion of that belief clear by his silence, "Seito isn't exactly the average child is he?" Subaru tilted his head toward the paper dolls. "While these are a bit strange, I'm not sure I see what exactly the problem is. He didn't hurt anyone else did he?"

"Well no." The teacher retorted. "Not this time."

"This time?"

"Sociopaths usually start small." She began through gritted teeth. "Actually usually they start by killing small animals but this," she waved a hand at the paper dolls as if trying to knock them out of the air like an pleasant fly. "This is already a warning sign of a violent nature." She glared at Subaru. "And if you can't see that, then clearly you are more than just half-blind."

.

.

Subaru found Seito outside in the courtyard again and paused beside him beneath the tree.

"Who was she?" He asked at long last, well aware that Seito could see the ghost of the young girl hanging from it just as well as he could.

"She was a student here about twenty years ago."

"Why did she kill herself?"

"Her mother died and her father was cruel."

Subaru closed his eyes.

"Seito-kun?"

"Yeah?" The boy didn't take his eyes off the ghost.

"Do you wish you had a mother?"

Seito finally gave Subaru a baffled look. "Why would I need a mother? I have you." Then a thought occurred to him and he laughed. "I'm not like _her._" He nodded at the tree. "You aren't abusive and even if you were I wouldn't go and kill _myself._ That's just silly." He giggled as they turned to walk home together.

_So who would you kill?_ Subaru wondered silently, the emphasis in Seito's reply not unnoticed. But he was pretty sure he already knew the answer.


	13. Chapter 13

_Author's Note: I am sorry about how long it is taking me to upload new chapters. ^^; I would really like to thank everyone who has stuck with the story all this time though! I really appreciate that even when I don't add anything for months I still occasionally get reviews and favorites on it. Thank you all so much! ^_^ /_

.

Chapter 13

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Subaru set a glass on the table without a coast and let the condensation run down the sides, watching Seito's eyes follow the little rivulets, his jaw clenched. Something was off, but Subaru found himself unable to place it for the time being. Pushing the thought to the back of his mind for the time being, he tried asking Seito how school was going only to be met with a somewhat cryptically vague response as the boy picked at the food on his plate, seemingly disinterested.

Subaru switched gears and asked if he felt he was up to learning a new spell the next day. Only then did Seito's eyes light up with sharp interest.

"But this is a tricky spell." He warned the boy and realized he should not have been surprised when rather than displaying slight discouragement, the boy's eyes sharpened with further fascination. "And one that should be used sparingly.

"What is it?"

"It allows you to move about undetected." Subaru braced himself. This was a useful spell to be sure, but he had hesitated all this time to actually teach Seito for fear of how he might use it.

"Why does that have to be used sparingly?"

He had a feeling Seito would ask that.

"Onmyoujitsu should never be used to deceive without a very good reason."

"Who decides what's a good reason?"

Subaru paused. "The user does."

"So I decide." Seito replied bluntly.

"Yes." Subaru held his gaze as steadily as he could. "So you have to decide carefully."

He knew Seito had an acute sense of judgment. The problem was that the boy had such a different perspective on morality that the conclusions he drew were not always consistent with those that other people would draw. Subaru hoped that this was a case where he could at least try to understand the perspectives of others.

He sighed. "It isn't something that you should use for personal gain."

Seito considered this carefully and Subaru could almost see the gears turning in his mind although he could not begin to guess at the conclusions he would draw regarding the matter.

"In the meantime, would you like some help cleaning the kitchen today?" Subaru offered as he rinsed their plates.

Seito stirred from his thoughts and stared at the tile floor for a long moment before replying. "It doesn't look like it really needs it." He answered carefully.

Subaru glanced over his shoulder, surprised. Not once since coming to live with him had the boy failed to give the kitchen a thorough cleaning every single Saturday. "Are you sure?"

"Do you need me to clean it?"

He wondered why the boy sounded almost hopeful, like he needed an excuse. "No, you don't have to if you don't want to. Like you said, it does look fine. I'm just… a little surprised is all."

The boy clenched his jaw. "Okay."

Subaru sat back down across from him. "Well if you don't want to spend the day cleaning, what would you like to do?"

Seito shrugged, fidgeting slightly.

It wasn't until he saw the boy glance furtively at the closet where they usually kept the cleaning supplies that it dawned on Subaru what he was doing. Or rather trying hard not to do.

"Why don't we go out somewhere?"

"Where?"

"Wherever you want?"

Seito gave him a mischievous look. "Las Vegas."

"Anywhere within a sixty mile radius." Subaru amended. "Besides, why would you want to go to Las Vegas?"

"To gamble?"

"You have to be a certain age in the U.S. I think for that."

"You do?" Seito considered this carefully. "Well how old do you have to be?"

"Twenty? Twenty-one? Something like that."

Seito tilted his head thoughtfully. "Why, do they think anyone younger than that doesn't have enough money to lose?"

Subaru shrugged.

"Well when I turn twenty-or-twenty-one whichever it is, can we go?"

Subaru tried to imagine himself amid the neon lights, dancing girls, loud music, and drunken debauchery that he associated with Vegas and felt the threatening twinge of a headache already. "We'll see."

Seito seemed satisfied with this answer for now however, and Subaru realized he probably had been expecting a flat-out no.

"In the interim twelve years or so though. Where would you like to go?"

The boy shrugged and gave him an expectant "well you shot down my idea, come up with your own" look.

Now that he thought about it though, Subaru realized that he couldn't remember the last time he had gone out somewhere just for fun. His life had revolved so exclusively around work for so long that he found himself mentally stumbling over the concept of pure entertainment. He thought back to when Hokuto had dragged him out on his days off as a teenager.

"Karaoke?"

Seito wrinkled his nose. "I can't really sing, can you?"

Subaru shook his head. "Not really."

Okay, so much for that idea. What did kids do on their days off? Go to amusement parks?

Seito gave him a funny look and he realized he had said that part out loud. He briefly wondered when the last time he had said something he was thinking aloud by accident was. Subaru wasn't really the sort of person to talk to himself when he was alone usually. He didn't really want to hear what he had to say.

"How about a regular park?" Seito suggested. "The hanami crowds are probably all gone by now right?"

Subaru hesitated, his memories of Ueno park whispering twisted lies in his ear but if that's what Seito wanted to do to get out of the apartment, then so be it.

So they packed up a picnic and headed out. As Seito had predicted, the park was not particularly crowded anymore as the sakura were no longer in bloom. Except of course, Subaru glanced over his shoulder, for that one. He was less than surprised that Seito immediately walked over to it as if magnetically drawn. He wondered if the boy noticed the way everyone else seemed to avoid the tree, despite its beauty. It was like some instinctive sense of survival warned them all away without them knowing or understanding why.

Seito stared at the blossoms with rapt attention without speaking a word for so long that Subaru began to imagine cobwebs forming on his arms and then remembered his fear of spiders.

_Well that probably would snap him out of it._ He thought with a shake of his head.

The boy didn't stir until he noticed that Subaru had already set up the picnic and even then, he was even more quiet than usual as they ate.

Subaru didn't especially mind the lack of conversation though. He was surprised to find himself enjoying the sunlight. He had forgotten how warm and inviting it could be, not to mention how gentle the wind ruffling one's hair could be. There was such a simple pleasure in being outdoors on a day like this; why had he not realized that? The sky was such a clearer blue than he had seen it in so long. Or had it been this way before and he just had not noticed? He wondered about it as he watched a cloud drift lazily overhead.

Then Seito spoke up, effectively destroying the peace of the moment in one simple question.

"Hey Subaru, who was Seishirou?"

Subaru choked on the tea he had been sipping and for the next several minutes was caught coughing to hard to respond.

"How did you-" he managed to choke out eventually.

"It's a name you say sometimes in your sleep." Seito was studying his reaction carefully.

"Oh." Subaru stared at the sakura petals scattered across the picnic blanket, unwilling to meet the boy's piercing gaze. "Seishirou…" he paused. How on earth could he explain Seishirou without telling the whole story? "… was someone important to me." He finished lamely.

"So I gathered." Seito replied dryly.

He should have known Seito wasn't going to let him off that easily.

Subaru set his tea aside with a sigh. "Seishirou was someone that I loved."

"Loved or were in love with?"

"Was in love with."

Seito considered this. "Well what? Did he not love you back?"

_I wish I knew myself._ Subaru thought, wincing at the bitterness in his own voice as he answered "I don't know."

"What do you mean you don't know? Did you not tell him?"

It had plagued Subaru for years that he had never gotten a chance to say the words. Too many sleepless nights had passed in which he tortured himself with the "what ifs" and among them was nearly always "what if I had told him sooner?"

He sighed. "I didn't."

"So what happened? Did he just move on with his life and you never saw him again or what?"

Subaru shook his head. "He died."

He knew what question would follow and he knew today was not the day to answer it, so even as Seito opened his mouth, Subaru stood. "We should get home before it gets too late."

For a moment, Seito did not move and he feared he was going to push the question. At last he began gathering their belongings, much to Subaru's relief.

The way back was silent, and unlike earlier, it left Subaru feeling uneasy. Seito was, as always, deep in thought, and Subaru found himself silently pleading with the boy not to question any further.

His thoughts were interrupted as they passed by Seito's school and the movement of a ribbon catching the wind caught the corner of his eye. He slowed down slightly and studied the tree in the courtyard, or rather its ghostly inhabitant and felt sympathy tug at his heart. Spirits usually preferred quiet resting places, not courtyards facing busy streets like this one. Then an idea struck him.

"Seito-kun?"

"Hm?" The boy stirred from his ponderings and glanced up at him.

"You remember what I said we were going to work on tomorrow?"

The boy nodded. "The concealment spell."

"Right. Well we are going to do something a little different with the lesson than usual."

"We are?"

"And it will probably be a double lesson. Is that okay?"

Seito nodded vigorously. "What are we doing then?"

Subaru gave him a gentle smile. "You'll see."

.

.

Subaru had gone to bed hours ago and Seito knew he should probably get some sleep himself but found that his head was too full of thoughts to just drift off like that. What was so special about tomorrow's lesson? He had a feeling it had to do with the school since Subaru mentioned it there, but what were they going to do? Break in and steal erasers? He almost giggled at the image of Subaru in super spy equipment, stuffing chalkboard erasers into a duffle bag.

Okay, okay, no more thinking about that. He was obviously making himself too giddy. Seito turned over and tried to make his mind go blank. Instead, his thoughts wandered to their earlier conversation. Why didn't Subaru want to tell him how Seishirou had died? It wasn't all that surprising that Subaru didn't want to talk about it if he had gotten his heart broken or something, but that part he had been pretty frank about. Why was it only when they reached Seishirou's death that he had gotten so secretive?

He crawled out of bed and tiptoed to the dresser, reaching behind it to retrieve the photograph he had hidden there. He sat down on the floor and stared at it, letting the moon shining in from the window wash the picture in silvery light.

_You're Seishirou aren't you._ He thought to the picture and he thought back to the incident with the spider demon.

"_The eye had great value to me… because someone that I cared deeply about left it behind for me when they died"_

Seito had long since assumed that the man in the picture was the one who had left behind the eye. He realized that Subaru had surely met thousands of people in his lifetime but something about the way he was smiling in this picture had always set his intuition buzzing. This was the person, he was sure of it.

"_Did he not love you back?"_

"_I don't know."_

Seito shook his head. _What do you mean you don't know?_ He wondered. _The guy left an EYE for you. How much more obvious can you get?_

He knew that Subaru was dense about some things; he had realized that back when the man had been completely oblivious to Aunt Suzume's obvious attraction to him, but really now. He sighed and replaced the picture, noting with disdain the beginning of a dust bunny gathering behind the dresser.

He started to go get the broom to clean it up but resisted.

_I will _not_ let that continue to rule me._ He thought with determination and climbed back into bed where he spent the rest of the night trying not to think of spells, sakura, or Lysol.

.

.

_A/N: Don't worry, the next chapter will have the next day's lesson. :P_

_Also, hanami means "flower-viewing" which is a tradition in Japan of going and having parties and picnics outdoors beneath the sakura trees when they're blooming. (They actually mention it Tokyo Babylon briefly.)_


	14. Chapter 14

_Author's Note: I think Seishirou fans will like this chapter. :D_

_That teaser aside, I want to bring up another note about sociopaths that I don't think I've mentioned yet and that is the fact that they are often very aware that they are sociopaths. In Tokyo Babylon, Seishirou brings up the fact that he has never felt anything toward his victims, including his own mother and that scene actually is pretty plausible, at least insofar as his own recognition and acknowledgement of his own psychopathy is concerned. That said, I always wondered when he realized that and that I needed for Seito to do so as well. He doesn't have the vocabulary or psychology background to know exactly what it is yet, but I did want to show the beginnings of his own self-awareness here._

_Also, the name Koemi means "little laugh". I just picked it because I thought it was a really cute name and I thought it would be ironic._

_Okay, shutting up now and getting to the story! _

_._

"Alright, got it?"

Seito nodded eagerly.

"Then let's head out, shall we?"

They had spent most of the day preparing even though Seito had picked up on the spell almost immediately. It still shocked Subaru what a fast learner he could be when he was interested in something. However, most of what they had done had simply been in theory and practice sessions. This would be the first time he had taken Seito out in the field. He hoped the venture was a success, for both Seito's sake, and for the girl's.

They made their way to the schoolyard without much incident and Subaru realized that Seito had an unnerving knack for appearing to belong out on the streets in the middle of the night, despite clearly being a primary-school aged child. When they got near the school grounds however, he knew that their prolonged dallying and apparent talking to no one was sure to draw attention and land them in a difficult situation to explain to authorities. So once they arrived, they both carefully cast the spell that Subaru had taught him earlier that evening and made their way, unseen and unheard, to the sakura tree.

The girl from before was still there, curled up in a crook between two branches, staring at the stars. She stirred however as they approached and jerked her head around. "Who's there?" she called, her voice wavering with startled fear.

Subaru dropped the shield just enough that she would be able to see and hear him. He had already warned Seito not to do so immediately, in case the girl was frightened enough to attack. It was unfortunate how often spirits seemed to still cling to the idea that they needed to inflict harm upon others to protect themselves. Almost as unfortunate as how often the living believed the same.

"My name is Subaru Sumeragi." Gentleness came so naturally to him that he had never had to struggle to soften his voice to coax others into trusting him. It had proven to be a major advantage in his work on numerous occasions in fact. "I'd like to talk to you if that's alright."

The girl did not respond for a moment and he was afraid that his words had been carried away by the breeze but at long last she replied softly. "About what?"

Subaru took a step forward so that she could see him clearly in the moonlight. "Well why don't we start with your name?"

"It's Koemi.[1]"

"That's a pretty name."

It was difficult to tell as she was mostly transparent but it looked as though the girl blushed slightly.

"There's someone else here with me, is it okay if he talks too?" He placed a hand on Seito's shoulder, silently commanding him to drop his own shield as well.

The girl peeked between two branches, leaning closer to take a look. "Oh it's you." She remarked upon catching sight of him. She gave Seito a shy, clumsily flirtatious smile which he appeared to take no note of and Subaru suddenly wondered how many other girls had had crushes on him and received the same cool, somewhat uninterested look.

"What do you want to talk about?" the girl adjusted her skirt and smoothed out the translucent wrinkles in her dress.

Subaru settled down on a low root within easy view of the girl. "Whatever you like."

.

.

Seito had never really seen Subaru interacting with a ghost before. Of course he knew that he did but seeing Subaru in action was far different from what he had imagined. For one thing, it seemed to take an unnecessarily long time.

"..and that was how we wound up moving to Tokyo."

"It must have been hard to leave behind friends." Subaru remarked gently.

It was kind of amazing really how he could take an already soft-spoken and tender voice and make it even more so. Seito imagined Subaru wearing a pair of kid gloves and felt a niggling memory briefly glow then fade away at the back of his mind. At any rate, he wondered why Subaru was bothering with all of this. Who cared what the girl's life story was? Who cared how many times she had moved as a child or how a friend had stolen her favorite teddy bear and pushed her in the mud? Seito certainly didn't. Why couldn't they just get the job done already?

"It wasn't so bad, they weren't very nice anyway." Koemi childishly kicked her heels back against the tree trunk. "Have you ever been picked on like that?"

Seito nearly snorted at the ridiculous question.

Subaru gave her a wry smile. "Yes, I was teased a lot when I was your age."

"Really?" The girl voiced Seito's thoughts. "Why?"

"A lot of people thought I was strange."

"But you're so nice!" Koemi objected.

_And that is strange._ Seito added silently.

"Being nice doesn't keep one from being picked on." Subaru replied softly and a shadow passed over the girl's face.

"No, no it doesn't does it?"

"What happened after you moved to Tokyo?" Subaru asked when the silence that had fallen stretched on for too long.

She kicked her heels back against the tree even harder and smoothed out the wrinkles in her skirt more fastidiously. "Daddy was fine for a while. I thought…" the girl's voice hitched and Seito was momentarily confused, thinking it was a hiccup or something. "I thought that things were going to be okay from then on."

"But they weren't." Subaru guessed.

Koemi shook her head, sending a spray of hair over each cheek. "He got dumped again by another girlfriend and that's when he started to drink again."

Was it because it was late at night that Subaru's eyes looked so dark? Seito wondered.

A glistening pearly bead slipped down the girl's cheek and Seito realized that it was the ghost of a tear, long since wept.

"I don't think he ever meant to hurt me." Koemi hastened to explain.

_But he repeatedly attacked you._ Seito silently protested. _That seems pretty intentional to me. _He waited for Subaru to point out the obvious but instead, Subaru merely nodded sympathetically.

"I just… couldn't be around him anymore. I just wanted it to all go away." There were small rivers of shining tears slipping down both cheeks now and the girl's voice trembled nearly as much as her small frame as she wrapped her arms tightly around herself, as though holding herself together for fear of shattering then and there. "In the end, I just couldn't do anything." She was sobbing now, and the words were coming out soaked with tears. "I wanted him to be okay, you know?"

She looked to Seito first and Seito felt for the first time in his life, a bit like a deer caught in headlights. He had the distinct impression that she was expecting something from him but he hadn't the foggiest idea what.

"He was your father, it's only natural that you wanted him to feel better too." Subaru's voice was like a lifejacket tossed between them and the girl clung to it, pulling herself closer to him and turning her attention away from Seito, much to his relief.

"And sometimes, it just seemed like I was nothing but a burden to him." Koemi choked. "Every time he looked at me it was like he either saw Mommy, who he could never get back, or something he had to still provide for and that was keeping him from being able to find someone else to love him." She looked up at Subaru through watery eyes. "Was I wrong to do it?"

He gave the girl a look of deepest remorse. "I'm sad that you did." Then he did something that came as a complete shock to both Seito and Koemi and pulled the girl's ghost into his arms, wrapping them loosely around her translucent form. "But I understand why, and it was your decision in the end. No one else can tell you that you were right or wrong."

The girl's crying had stopped momentarily in her surprise at the hug but upon hearing these words, the tears redoubled and she threw her arms around Subaru's neck.

Seito shifted irritably, feeling his fists clench in annoyance. She didn't even _know_ Subaru, who did she think she was, clinging to him like that? If anyone was going to be all over him, it should be Seito himself, not her. Not that he was liable to throw himself at Subaru in a fit of tears like that anyway. He still could not quite fathom why she was crying now, when everything was over anyway. He supposed it was a girl thing but still. That didn't excuse her from being all over Subaru.

"Thank you." The girl whispered after calming down at long last. She gave Subaru one more squeeze before slipping away, becoming more transparent with each passing second. "Thank you too." She addressed Seito in a voice far more ephemeral than it had been moments before.

"For what?" He asked, taken aback.

"For talking to me all those afternoons. Even though we never spoke for very long, it made me feel a little less lonely for once." She gave him a drifting smile as an unfelt breeze caught her, carrying her away toward the stars. "It meant a lot to me."

There was the faintest hint of a goodbye on the real breeze that picked up, frivolously tossing leaves in the air, a mock celebration.

"Well, I guess that was a success then wasn't it?" Seito asked, turning at last to Subaru.

Subaru did not respond for a moment, staring contemplatively up at the sky. It wasn't until Seito sneezed, his nose tickled by a passing dandelion, that Subaru looked back down, almost surprised to see him there.

"We should get home." He replied, standing slowly. "It's been a late night."

.

.

Seito wasn't sure where he was but he was pretty sure that he was dreaming.

He was standing on what seemed like an island of light surrounded by a sea of darkness so impenetrable that it was as though nothing else existed. He stared out into it for a while, half expecting to see shark fins circling menacingly, just waiting for a tasty little boy to wander too close to the edge, but there was nothing.

So he turned around to find the source of the light and felt that he should probably be surprised to discover that it was a sakura tree but somehow he had expected that. On the other hand, now that he had confirmed his mysterious glowing light source as a bizarre sakura tree in the middle of the most literal nowhere in existence, Seito had no idea what to do with himself.

He wandered a little closer to the tree and found that on the other side there was a branch that hung low enough to be within his grasp. He glanced around, on the off chance that there was someone nearby to try and stop him, then reached up and pulled himself up onto the branch.

The view wasn't all that different from up here, but he breathed in deeply and the scent was like a lullaby to him. It was just the right mixture of fruit, flower and something else… ah yes, iron.

Longing to crawl a little deeper into the sakura's embrace, he pulled himself up onto another branch, and then another until he was in the middle of the tree, surrounded by so many blossoms that he could hardly see anything else. Not that there was anything out there to see, he noted.

He leaned back against the trunk of the tree and drank it all in, feeling like this must be as close as one could get to returning to the womb from which they came.

He half closed his eyes and thought that surely there was no greater peace than this.

"Ahem."

A man's voice startled him and Seito tumbled straight out of the tree, catching his balance at the last second before he could fall. He looked around and found that a few branches away and above him was indeed a man wearing a black suit and dark sunglasses that hid his eyes, and more importantly, his expression. Seito could not quite tell if the man was angry or amused at the intrusion.

"Who are you?" Seito demanded, not caring either way.

The man looked genuinely surprised by this question for a moment then chuckled. "I think you already know me."

Seito did not care much for people who spoke in riddles and he wrinkled his nose at the response. "I don't think so or I wouldn't have asked."

The man laughed and pulled off the mirrored shades.

Seito's eyes widened in surprise then narrowed in suspicion. "You."

Seishirou gave another mirthless chuckle. "You say that like you've just run into your arch-nemesis."

"But… Aren't you dead?"

"Quite."

"Then why are you here?"

"Because this place is mine." Seishirou waved a hand around the glowing island then paused, reconsidering his declaration. "Or rather, I suppose you could say that it is me."

"What?"

"This is a mabaroshi, an illusion if you will."

"If I will what?"

"Accept that I guess. It's just an expression." Seishirou shrugged.

Seito hummed. "Okay. But if this is yours then why am _I _here?"

Seishirou's lips curled into a perfectly menacing grin that Seito suddenly found himself longing to imitate.

"Why do you think?"

Seito narrowed his eyes, carefully considering his words. "Do I have access to this place because it recognizes me as its own as well?"

"You could say that."

"Am I you?" Seito asked more bluntly.

"Of course not." Seishirou replied just as flatly. "I'm right here. You're right there. We're not the same then are we?"

Seito shook his head and opened his mouth to ask another question when suddenly a loud crash startled him awake. He nearly rolled out of bed with the jump and found himself unpleasantly tangled in his sheets as he recognized the sound as having been that of Subaru dropping something in the kitchen.

Slightly frustrated at being jarred out of the dream before he had had a chance to ask for clarification, Seito made his way to the kitchen to find Subaru holding a hand under the cool stream of water from the faucet while a pot lay accusingly on the tile floor.

"Are you okay?" Seito asked through a yawn, grabbing a kitchen towel and folding it before picking up the pot and returning it to the stove.

Subaru nodded. "Just a minor burn."

Seito studied his face for a moment Subaru noticed out of the corner of his eye.

"I was a bit distracted." He explained.

"By what?"

"Just thinking."

"About what?"

Subaru sighted. "About Koemi."

Seito felt the corner of his mouth twitch down and he quickly turned away to rifle through the pantry. "What about her?" He asked in a carefully neutral tone.

"It's just always difficult to see someone so young suffering so much."

Seito glanced over his shoulder and took in the way his eyebrows knit together and the slightly lost look about his eyes, wondering how Subaru could seriously be that concerned. He had only met the girl the night before and it wasn't like he was going to again anytime soon.

Then it struck him that Subaru was saddened by the entire situation. Something clicked into place and Seito realized that the emotional display of last night wasn't just a girl thing after all. It wasn't just a thing that immature children suffered from. It was a people thing, and one that he seemed to have been mysteriously left out of the loop on.

_I'm weird._ He thought suddenly. He had always been vaguely aware of a silent gap between him and most people that the met but he had always assumed that was how it was for everyone. Everybody lived in their own bubbles didn't they? That was what he had believed at any rate. Thinking about it now though, he realized that other people seemed to have this strange ability to connect to other people, even complete strangers, and it didn't seem to take that much really. Why didn't he?

"Seito?"

He blinked and realized that Subaru was staring at him expectantly.

"Huh?"

Subaru gave him a strange look. "I just asked what you wanted for breakfast." He repeated slowly.

"Oh." He rummaged through the pantry, trying to decide, and trying harder to ignore the way Subaru watched him carefully the entire time.


	15. Chapter 15

A set of paintings covered the walls of the hallways outside of Seito's classroom. Subaru supposed the cheerfully bright, errant colors should have reassured him but something about being called in for a conference with a teacher still twisted his gut.

He took a deep breath, trying to ignore the overly happy paintings as he waited outside the door. A glance at the clock down the hallway informed him that it was already five minutes past 5:30, their appointed meeting time and he began to wonder if he had misunderstood the time, or if something had happened to the teacher.

He sighed and began to pace, before realizing that there was a theme to the paintings on the wall. Pausing to step closer, he found one painting with a crudely drawn house scribbled behind four smiling stick figures and what he presumed was meant to be a dog. Another painting was more meticulously colored with thick, deliberate if not perfectly even lines that unmistakably portrayed an apartment complex with two small girls and their smiling parents. All smiling with those thin, half circle smiles and it struck him that what was understood as a smile was not the curve of lips or the dancing of eyes, but the dark line stretching across a face.

Staring at them long enough, the smiles blurred and became scars, more mockery than true symbols of joy.

"Mr. Sumeragi?"

He nearly jumped out of his own skin and by the look on the teacher's face so did she in response.

"Yes?"

"I'm sorry to keep you waiting, our staff meeting ran longer than expected." She bowed deeply.

"It's fine, really." Subaru tried his best to look nonchalant, feeling the entire time as though he were failing spectacularly. "Should we-" he motioned toward the classroom.

Mizuno sensei shook her head quickly and Subaru was struck by the sudden idea that she was afraid to be alone in a closed room with him. He wondered at the thought, realizing that he could not recall the last time someone was actually afraid of him, if it had ever happened at all.

"I wanted to show you something out here actually."

"Oh." Subaru followed her silently a few feet down the hallway, baffled until she stopped in front of another child's painting, indicating that he should take a look. He knew immediately whose painting it was, and for a moment, found himself admiring the relative technical skill compared to its companions. Seito at least had a good grasp of clean lines and consistent lighting for a nine-year-old boy.

"We asked the students to paint their families." Mizuno began and Subaru nodded, then froze as he understood the concern twisting across her features.

He wasn't in the painting.

In fact, no one was. The painting was of a sakura tree, and nothing else. Subaru realized then that there was not even a background surrounding the tree, instead the space was left conspicuously blank as though he had forgotten to finish the painting.

"I thought… I thought at first that he simply did not understand the assignment."

Mizuno shook her head.

Subaru swallowed hard.

"So I re-explained it to him. But he still did this instead."

"How exactly did you explain it to him?" Subaru wondered aloud.

Mizuno seemed taken aback by the question. "Well that we wanted him to draw the people he was related to, or the people that loved him most."

Subaru nodded, resisting the urge to reach up and run his fingers along the painting, following the brush strokes down the page.

"So you see the problem here."

Another nod.

"And this isn't the first time. With all due respect, Mr. Sumeragi, your son has quite a tendency to deliberately misbehave like this."

Subaru started. "Wait, misbehave?"

"Yes, just intentionally take instructions and not follow them at all."

"What other instructions has he disobeyed?"

"Well for example, once we asked the children to write about their favorite animals and he simply wrote that he didn't like animals at all."

"It's an honest response though." Subaru felt compelled to point out.

"Really? What child doesn't like at least kitties or puppies or horses or _something._ I mean he could have written about anteaters for all we care, so long as he actually does the assignment."

_Veterinarian. _The word crested at the back of Subaru's mind like a wave briefly kissing the shore before receding to its solemn depths.

"He honestly does not like animals, but I will talk to him about finding something to write about. Maybe expanding on why that is. What other things has he done then?" He pressed.

"Well he doesn't seem to like the other students."

_"For the longest time now, I haven't been able to distinguish between 'people' and 'things'."_

Subaru clasped his right arm behind his back. "What do you mean?"

"When we tell him to do a group assignment, he simply doesn't do it. That is, he will do his part of the assignment, but not interact with the others at all." Mizuno paused. "It's almost as if he doesn't even acknowledge that they are there." She shook her head. "I honestly think he needs to make a few friends. Maybe he would learn to behave better if he had some good influences his own age."

"Maybe." Subaru replied, hoping that she would not notice the note of doubt in his voice.

Mizuno's face softened. "I know it must be difficult, being a single father, but Seito needs you. All of these things he's doing… I think it's just acting out because he wants the attention."

Subaru stared at her silently for a moment, wondering how blind a person could be, before realizing the hypocrisy of his own thoughts.

"I will speak to him."

Mizuno leaned forward, her face full of tender-hearted concern that just felt so out of place in a discussion about Seito that Subaru found himself needing to look away.

"If I may be so bold to make a suggestion… I think it might be best if you spent some time together one-on-one. You know, a father-son outing or something."

_Does going out and talking to the ghosts of dead children count?_ Subaru wondered vaguely but still he thanked the teacher politely for her time and left the classroom with a curiously hollow feeling.

.

.

When Subaru returned home, the first thing he noticed was that there were dishes in the sink. Only a bowl and mug, but he knew they were the same ones that had been there that morning, as he recognized the cup he had used for his own tea that morning. It wasn't that Subaru minded doing the dishes himself, after all he had lived alone for much of his life. He just wondered why Seito had not done them this time.

"Seito?" He called out hesitantly and when no reply came, a sudden sense of panic swept over him. He felt his throat close and his muscles tense as his heart began to race.

_No, not another spell._

"Hm?" A sleepy voice replied from the doorway and Subaru spun around to see Seito rubbing his eyes as though he had just been roused from a nap.

Adrenaline flooded his system in relief and he sank to one of the kitchen chairs, hoping that the boy would not notice the slight shake of his hands.

"Let's talk for a minute."

Seito's eyes suddenly sharpened and Subaru was struck by the almost instantaneous shift from sleepy boy to small dangerous predator.

"Am I in trouble?" He demanded immediately and Subaru wondered about that. Could a child really be in trouble for being odd? There was a time when he would have immediately answered that it would not be fair to punish one for simply being unique, but having seen more of the world, he hesitated. It was not being unusual itself that was the issue, but rather the distance from the rest of humanity that could eventually prove problematic in a case like Seito's where incentive to not do harm was necessary. Then again, Subaru wondered if the boy was capable of making any kind of connection in the first place, and even if he did, if it would be enough.

"You're not in trouble." Subaru wondered if it was a lie, and realized that it would breach the promise he had made months ago, when Seito first came to live with him.

The boy slid into the seat across from him and folded his hands calmly on the kitchen table before him as though settling in for a serious meeting.

"I've just been wondering about school."

Seito nodded. "We're doing long division and multiplication in math, learning how to look up information in the library to write a research paper on our favorite hobby, and talking about igneous versus metamorphic rocks in science class."

"They've already got you working on research papers?" Subaru shook his head quickly. "That's not what I meant. I mean, I'm glad to hear what all you're working on in your classes, but I was wasn't really wondering about academia. What about during free time? During recess?"

Seito gave him a blank look. "Well those are free time right? We're not really doing specific tasks then."

"I know, I mean what do you do then?"

"Oh. I read. Or sometimes I watch people."

"You... watch people."

Seito nodded.

"Do you ever talk to them?"

Seito gave him another blank look. "Why?"

"I'm just curious."

"No, I mean why would I talk to them?"

Subaru resisted the urge to rub his temples. "Don't you have any friends that you like to talk to?"

"No." The answer was so blunt and certain, without a trace of regret or loneliness that Subaru was glad he was already sitting down.

"No one?"

Seito shook his head and Subaru could see the clouds of confusion gathering in his eyes, narrowing them to guarded slits. Uncertainty about where he stood made him wary, and slightly more predatory looking, Subaru realized, as though his instinct was to attack first and ask questions later. He supposed he knew where Seito stood on the fight or flight scale and he decided it was time to be more upfront.

"Your teacher is concerned because you don't seem to have any friends at school."

"Why is she worried?"

"I think she thinks you're lonely."

Seito stared at him for a long moment then began to laugh until he nearly fell out of his seat.

"I'm not lonely."

_Maybe all people do bad things because they are lonely._ Subaru had thought that he had no more illusions with regard to Seishirou's actions and yet he still had the sense of one shattering.

"Still." He struggled to remain composed. "You might get something out of spending some time with others."

"Like what?" Seito suddenly sobered, his curiosity piqued. Subaru thought for a split second that he had reached him, then realized that the boy had honed in on the idea of "getting something out of it".

"It's always worthwhile to hear how someone else views the world." He began carefully.

"What if they're wrong though?"

"Someone's view of life can't be wrong."

Seito snorted. "People can be pretty stupid about the world."

"That doesn't necessarily make them wrong. Even if you don't agree with everything they say, there is still something to be gained from hearing what they think. If nothing else, the world around you can't make very much sense without understanding why people do what they do." _God knows I've spent most of my life trying to figure that out._ He silently added.

Seito considered this notion. "But that's why I watch them and listen to them talk to one another."

_Reciprocity. _Subaru realized. _Connection isn't something he innately understands, but reciprocity he might._

"You're only learning from them then. What if there is something that they can learn from you?" Seito visibly straightened and Subaru was hit by the realization that he might live to regret inadvertently giving Seito the idea to teach his fellow students. God only knew what he would teach them. "So you'll try talking to them sometimes?" He continued weakly.

The boy nodded. "Is that all?" He asked as though he had other more pressing engagements.

"Actually I have another question for you."

Seito patiently folded his hands before him once more.

"Why did you draw that picture of you with the sakura tree?" Seito had no reason yet to care about the sakura tree, right? He didn't even know about Subaru's other job yet… did he? Subaru held his breath in anxiety.

"The teacher said to draw a picture of our family, but mine is all dead. I considered drawing them anyway, but I thought a picture of dead people would call for a lot of green and my green pencil was running out."

"Green?"

"You know, for the rotting bits. Like in that zombie movie that was on tv the other night."

Subaru's stomach lurched. "You were going to draw your family… as they would look now."

"Well, yes." Seito gave him the same look he might have used if Subaru had questioned him depicting the sky as blue. "But like I said, I didn't have enough of the right colors. So instead I drew a sakura tree because there's one near my mother's grave. That seemed close enough."

"Why didn't you draw me?" Subaru asked before he could stop himself. He quickly tried to amend the seemingly selfish question. "Or your Aunt Suzume?"

Seito's eyes widened slightly. "I never thought of Aunt Suzume." He murmured more to himself than to Subaru before speaking up again. "And you aren't my family."

"Oh." Subaru felt as though a knife had been twisted in his gut. He shouldn't have been surprised, he knew. This was a child who didn't form attachments, why would he have seen Subaru as anything so close as family? "That… makes sense then."

"Good. Now are we done?"

Subaru nodded and watched Seito contentedly slide from the kitchen chair without a second thought and trot happily away, leaving him to wonder when his life had begun to revolve around the opinions of a nine-year-old boy.

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_A/N: There is a specific reason that I wanted to highlight that Seito never thinks of Subaru as family. Bear with me on that one. XD He doesn't mean it the way Subaru takes it._


	16. Chapter 16

_A/N: This was a fun chapter to write. XD_

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Yoshinaga-kun sat two seats away from Seito. He had a face like a bulldog, complete with the occasional bit of drool when the teacher was lecturing them on any subject that went over his head, which was most. His father was a surgeon and his mother an engineer and somehow he had failed to inherit any of their genetics when it came to cleverness. Most Japanese parents would push even harder for their son's academic success, believing that potential to just be lying dormant in there somewhere, but maybe the Yoshinagas were more realistic than that, or perhaps just more pessimistic. They seemed to have given up on their disappointingly stupid son, but felt some measure of regret for it. Thus they bought him every new toy on the market and coddled him silly, perhaps knowing that his life was going to suck once he no longer lived under their roof so they'd better make up for it while they could.

Or so this was how Seito perceived the situation.

Subaru had wanted him to make a new friend, well fine. At least he could befriend someone with a Nintendo DS _and _an Xbox 360. He had never actually played with either of these, but he had heard some interesting things and was most curious. Aunt Suzume had been one of those who firmly believed that the violence in video games was responsible for the violence in real life and so the few times that the subject had come up, she had adamantly refused. Somehow it never occurred to him to ask Subaru about them, he realized belatedly. He supposed that could be his backup plan if things with this kid fell through.

At any rate, when the teacher asked students to pair up for their science project, Seito had immediately turned to Yoshinaga, registering with great satisfaction the teacher's evident surprise out of the corner of his eye. The boy for his turn had simply stared back at him slightly slack-jawed with dark damp eyes reminiscent more of a putrid puddle than of anything bearing sentience. Seito decided that the lack of a "no" constituted a "yes."

So it was that he found himself in the foyer of a large house, the sort with decorative vases on end tables in the hallway for no apparent reason. Seito found himself studying one such piece meticulously as Yoshinaga struggled with a knotted shoelace. Seito had to admit that he didn't really understand the point of the vase, but he did like the flecks of green sparkles that dotted the otherwise transparent walls.

"It's blown glass." Yoshinaga's mother remarked, noticing his attention as she appeared from the living room to greet them.

"It's beautiful."

"Thank you. My sister makes them.

"For fun?"

Yoshinaga's mother sighed a little. "No, she thinks she is an artist so she sells a lot of stuff like this. I mean they're pretty but when there is so much more you could do with your life… who has time to do nothing but make pretty things."

"What do you think is better?"

"Science." She replied promptly. "And math of course, as a foundation. You sound like a smart boy from what Haru has told me, you should really devote yourself to the hard sciences. You could go to medical school or do research that helps save people's lives. _That_ is a worthwhile pursuit."

Seito stared at the vase in silence. _But is saving people's lives really better? _He wondered. _Won't they still die eventually anyway? And there are too many of us on Earth anyway. Why not create something pretty that will remain when we're gone? It's like leaving behind the best part of yourself and letting the dumb parts die. _

"Sumeragi-kun?"

Yoshinaga was watching him with his usual watery-eyed incomprehension.

"Want to get started on our project?"

"Of course."

"So what should we do?" Yoshinaga heaved himself into a chair at the kitchen table and began munching loudly on a piece of celery from the tray of snacks his mother had left out for them. "You wanna do a volcano?"

"A paper maché volcano?" Was this kid serious? He looked around to see if his parents were anywhere nearby to hear this and found that they were alone.

"Yeah."

"Absolutely not."

"How 'bout… we make a battery out of a potato. I saw someone do that last year."

"Repeat the last sentence you just said."

"I saw someone do that last year?" Yoshinaga stuffed another piece of celery in his mouth.

"Right, so no."

"Ugh. Coming up with stuff is hard." The boy slumped and Seito found himself annoyed. He didn't actually want to do the science project either, so why should he have to be the one to come up with all the ideas for it? What good were friends if they didn't make your life easier?

"I wish we had a robot or something to do our homework for us."

"That's stu-" The words died on Seito's lips and he realized the possibilities. "-pendous." He hastily corrected himself.

"Huh?" Yoshinaga stared up at him in confusion.

"That's what we'll make."

"What?"

"A robot that can do your homework." Seito replied in frustration. Did the boy seriously already forget what he had just said two seconds ago?

"Oh cool." Yoshinaga sat up in sudden excitement. "Can it have antennas and talk like 'boop bop beep bop boop'?"

Seito stared at the child with a frown. "How would that be useful?"

"Oh, oh, and it should like, have a jetpack and be able to fly!"

"_Why_?"

"So it can go into outer space!"

"But why? It's meant to do your homework. How would going into outer space help with homework?"

"Well like, if you had to do a science project on space it could bring back moon rocks and baby aliens for you!"

"Aliens don't exist." Seito scoffed.

"Yeah they do! I totally saw something about it on tv."

"Just because it's on tv doesn't make it real." Seito snapped.

"But _scientists_ were talking about them. It's a theory and everything."

"'Theory' means that it might or might not be true, we don't know."

"Well then aliens _might_ exist."

"But we don't know that for sure."

"Well we know for sure that moon rocks exist."

Seito considered. Having moon rocks with their science project would probably get them a lot of extra points. "Okay. We might give it a jetpack then."

"Give what a jetpack?"

Seito nearly slapped his forehead. "The robot, dummy."

"Oh yeah." Yoshinaga was quiet for a moment and Seito began to think about how they would build it. Titanium was supposed to be super strong but where were they going to get titanium? Could you buy it at the grocery store?

"Hey Sumeragi-kun?"

"Hm?" He wondered if Subaru would take him to the store later to check.

"Can the robot also have-"

"_No._"

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"So this part scans the problem and this part puts the numbers in the calculator." Seito pointed to the scanner attached mostly with duct tape to the pencils used to clumsily punch the calculator buttons.

"Interesting. What is the little design on the side for?" the teacher pointed in confusion.

"That's the button for the jetpack." Yoshinaga informed her. "I put it on there while we were making it because we wanted to put a jetpack on it."

"He wanted to put a jetpack on it. I told him that was stupid." Seito glared at the boy, hoping that he wouldn't bring up the bottle rocket incident during their experimentation phase. It was a very lucky thing that Yoshinaga's parents were loaded and so willing to buy them another scanner.

"Oh. I see." The teacher gave one of those nods that Seito hated that meant that she was amused but trying to take them seriously. "Well class, I think we're done with presentations for the day, so I want you all to go around and pick three of your fellow students' projects that you find most interesting and write down what you think they did really well and what could be improved."

Seito was pleased that everyone at once flocked to his robot. Of course his project was the most interesting, and everyone was going to have a very easy time writing down what he did well.

"A robot- that's so cool!"

Of course it was. Seito preened.

"You guys are like super geniuses!"

Seito was in such a good mood, that he decided to benevolently not correct the boy that he was the only genius here since he did pretty much everything on his own while Yoshinaga watched and drew pictures of giant monsters for the robot to fight.

"It's so awesome! Can I borrow it for Friday's math test?"

"I heard that and unfortunately that would be cheating." The teacher called from the other side of the room and the students all sighed in disappointment.

"So does it talk?" Osawa-chan, a cute girl with pigtails asked, distracting them all from the let-down.

"No, it doesn't talk."

"What do you mean it doesn't talk?" Higashi-kun leaned in closely. "What kind of robot doesn't talk?"

"I said that it should say 'boop bop beep beep'." Yoshinaga volunteered.

A chorus of "Yeah, exactly!" and "It should!" came from the cluster of students.

Seito stared at them all. "But it still gives you the answer to your math problems without talking."

"Yeah- but- it- should- talk- like- this." One boy replied in a nasal and halting voice. "The- answer- to- problem- three- is- fourteen."

The other kids laughed and agreed, all practicing their own robot voices.

Hana-chan seemed to notice that Seito was getting frustrated and attempted to change the subject. "So what other homework can it do?"

"Just- math." Yoshinaga answered in a robotic voice, belatedly joining in.

"That's dumb." Higashi-kun snorted. "Why can't it write essays for you too?"

"Because essays require actual thought and creativity." Seito snapped back. "Something that some of us don't need a robot for."

"How creative can you be if you didn't even think to make the robot talk?" Osawa-chan quipped.

"I wanted to give it a jetpack." Yoshinaga added somewhat irrelevantly.

"That would have been so cool!"

"Yeah." Yoshinaga actually puffed up his chest in pride. "Sumeragi-kun said it was stupid though."

The kids rounded on him. "Why would you think that's stupid?"

Before Seito could respond, the bell for recess rang and the kids immediately dispersed, too riled up by this point to stay indoors. Seito grudgingly trudged outside behind the rest, glaring as he noticed one group pretending to be robots engaged in an epic battle against alien invaders. He pretended to ignore them as he walked by, intent upon his usual shady spot in a grove of trees at the edge of the playground where the other kids usually didn't go. He found his favorite log and plopped himself down in irritation.

Obviously he was going to have to teach his class a lesson about robots and creativity, especially Higashi-kun, but it had been a while since he had had to deal with bullies so he was going to have to think on this one. Maybe he could build another robot to attack them all?

He thought about it, but the robot he had already built had been an awful lot of work and he didn't know if he was up to building another one so soon.

Maybe he could use a spell on them.

But Subaru would probably be pretty upset over that idea and he would know it was Seito's doing; there wasn't any tricking him there.

Seito scuffed his shoe in the dirt in annoyance.

"Sumeragi-kun?"

He almost jumped at the sound of someone else's voice and looked up, surprised to see Hana-chan standing in his grove. Who did she think she was, coming over to Seito's spot uninvited like that?

"Are you okay?" She gave him the same wide-eyed look that he had seen Subaru give ghosts before and Seito frowned.

"Yeah, why?"

She took a seat on the log beside him and Seito instantly stiffened. What was she doing? How dare she not only invade his spot but sit on his log?

"I was worried that you might be upset since the other kids were making fun of your robot."

Well at least she got the part about it being his and not his and Yoshinaga's right.

"They weren't making fun of it, they were criticizing it."

"Either way, it wasn't really fair." Hana-chan answered softly. "You obviously worked really hard on it. And I thought it was great." She blushed slightly at the last words, becoming suddenly bashful for such a bold intruder.

Seito suddenly had the feeling that this didn't have anything to do with the project, but he couldn't quite work out what this was about and the not knowing was becoming even more irritating. He was busy here, what on earth could this girl possibly want.

"I was thinking… the next time we have a project, do you want to be partners?"

Oh well that at least made sense. Clearly the girl had recognized his intelligence even if the rest of his classmates hadn't. Seito considered the request, remembering that Hana-chan was the only person who had ever tied for high test scores with him. She might actually be useful on the next project. At least she would do more than Yoshinaga did. This could work out really well, he realized.

"Yeah." He agreed. "We should work together next time."

Hana-chan blushed again. "That's great! I can't wait for the next project." She stood up, smoothing her skirt out self-consciously. "Do you want to come play with me and Ami-chan?"

Seito wondered what that had to do with being science project partners. "Um. No."

"Oh… okay. Well I'll talk to you later." The girl blushed as she awkwardly waved and ran away with a mysterious smile.

Seito watched her for a minute before returning to his thoughts of revenge. Maybe he could put frogs in Higashi's desk…

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_Author's Note: I apologize for the long delay in between posting chapters for this! I just want to say that I really appreciate everyone who has been sticking with it. Your patience is very much appreciated!_


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