Bleach 1. Chapter 1  Beginnings

**AN:** Hiya all, first FF ever please be gentle! =^.^=

**Disclaimer:** Unfortunately Tite Kubo got to Bleach before me. I tried to convince him that he didn't really need Renji or Toshiro but he didn't listen to me. *sigh* This means that I don't own Bleach.

**WARNING:** Adult situations, swearing and feelings galore... maybe a few angst ridden ones later on. Definitely lots of citrus flavoured goodness later (LEMONY SEXINESS for those not listening). Not in this chapter though. SO BE WARNED! *rawr* Rated M for a reason!

**AN: PS:** Oh and I took the liberty of making Toshiro older, although it is about a year and a half after the Yushima/Reigai arc, and I can't find how old he is. So I guessed/elaborated him to be around 17 turning 18. Also if you run across a Japanese word that you may not know, I threw a little explanation of each at the end of each chapter. I'm pretty sure I caught them all.

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><p><strong>Chapter One - Beginnings<strong>

"Matsumoto! Where are the final reports!" The voice of the smallest and most quick tempered taicho could be heard throughout the 10th division barracks. Matsumoto winced, pausing mid step then quickly spun around making a desperate dash for sweet, sweet freedom.

"Matsumoto!" The taicho's voice was low and growly. Said fukutaicho sighed in defeat her head and shoulders slumping slightly, at the voice coming from directly behind her. She cast one last longing look at the entrance to the 10th division barracks and turned pasting a big grin on her face shading her eyes from the bright sunlight with one hand she batted her big blue's up at the scowling 10th Squad's taicho. He stood on the wooden planked balcony in front of the division's dojo with his arms crossed, the shadow from the overhanging roof falling across his upper body.

"Muuu, Hitsugaya-kun I was just about to go and meet Renji for some sake! Care to join us?" Her voice as cheerful as she could make it considering her taicho was glowering something fierce. She hid a satisfied smile as his glower faltered ever so slightly at the red head's name. If she wasn't looking for it she wouldn't have caught it.

This had been going on for a while now, ever since a few days ago when she caught her always professional and uptight taicho almost drooling at the sight of Renji training shirtless. Oblivious to the fact that he was displaying all those lovely muscles and tribal tattoos at their best.

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><p>She couldn't remember why they were at the 6th division's barracks, something about a combined mission that had needed a follow up detail. Her taicho had finished the meeting with Byakuya and they were leaving as they happened to pass the training yard. She wondered if her taicho had purposefully guided their path in order to glimpse Renji. She giggled at the thought.<p>

Renji had been in the 6th division's courtyard training with his men, it had been a hot sunny day and sweat had built up on the fukutaicho's body making the redhead's muscles gleam, moving fluidly under his honey smooth skin as he lunged and dodged easily around the other men. As soon as Renji had come into sight Toshiro's steps faltered slightly. Matsumoto had been busy ogling Renji herself, but when she heard the faltered steps she shifted her gaze forward to fix on the side of her taicho's face.

She had blinked and then the expression that she had caught on Toshiro's face was gone. She had spent most of the day examining the memory, trying to reconcile the glimpse of the hot lustful look on her small taicho's face with the cool, collected and professional Toshiro she knew. The rest of the day was spent grinning and scheming.

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><p>Matsumoto blinked coming back to the present as her taicho growled under his breath. "It's Hitsugaya taicho Matsumoto, and you are not going anywhere until you finish the final reports. I need them to complete my own." She sighed with a pout. "Awww Hitsugaya-kuuun, its rest day today and it's to celebrate Renji's safe return from his mission in the human world." She said ignoring his request to use his title instead of his first name.<p>

A tic appeared under his right eye. "I don't care, you are doing the reports! Or else you will be doing reports for the next two weeks solid, now go!" He threatened glowering. "You can join them once you have finished." He relented reluctantly, sighing as his fukutaicho brightened. "Hai!" She said almost skipping away towards the offices, grinning.

Toshiro watched her go shaking his head in reluctant fondness. As much as he was constantly frustrated with her blatant disregard for her duties or his position as taicho, he regarded her as family. He looked in the direction of the 6th division's barracks and quietly allowed himself to let out a breath of relief at the news of Renji's safe return. He didn't know when the redheaded, chocolate eyed fukutaicho started to bury himself so deep in his heart, but he remembered when he realised that Renji was special to him.

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><p>It was about 5 months after the incident with Yushima and the reigai, he remembered hearing that Renji had been wounded severely after a routine mission. After overhearing this information Toshiro distractedly continued to his office sat down and had stared down at his desk, his brilliant turquoise eyes blank. He shook himself out of his trance and tried to continue with the paperwork he had brought back to his quarters.<p>

His concentration however kept braking as images of Renji kept popping up in his mind making him loose his train of thought. Renji laughing with Rukia, Renji scowling and arguing with Ichigo, Renji stumbling into his office with Matsumoto both blind drunk and in the middle of a stupid half serious argument about pink bunnies and purple reindeer, Renji grim and arrogant staring down enemies with determination, Renji joking and laughing with his men, Renji hard at work training, Renji, Renji, Renji…

Toshiro slammed out of his office and the 10th division barracks at a barely concealed run, not even noticing the surprised looks of some of his subordinates. As soon as he reached the outside he flash stepped to the 4th division barracks. Gritting his teeth and clenching his hands till his fingernails dug into his palms he asked the first 4th squad member he came across about Renji's condition as calmly as he could. If the 4th squad member was surprised or curious as to why the 10th squad's taicho was asking after the 6th squad's fukutaicho he didn't show it, he just replied that the redheaded fukutaicho would be fine, his wounds were severe but nothing the 4th squad couldn't handle. Toshiro thanked him and motioned him to carry on. The man bowed and moved off, a bundle of clean bandages in his arms.

Toshiro moved outside and around the corner away from the main thoroughfare and collapsed against the side of the building, a quiet half laugh, half sob escaping from the young man as he raised a shaking hand to his face covering his eyes. The relief that flowed through his body was enormous. He took a deep breath and ran the hand that was at his face through his pure spiked white hair smiling wryly. He looked towards the side of the building and started to move past windows, suddenly needing to see the redhead with his own eyes. The 5th window he came to he spotted a glimpse of that bright flame red hair. He peered in noting that every other bed was empty of other occupants. Toshiro returned his gaze to the peacefully sleeping fukutaicho and he noted that Renji's breathing was deep and steady. He couldn't resist climbing into the room through the open window, easily jumping up to the sill and stepping down lightly. He moved across to the bed and looked down at the tattooed man and gently rested his hand on the bandages that covered Renji's chest. Toshiro could faintly feel the man's deep strong heartbeat throb against his hand and he silently let out the breath he didn't realise he had been holding, his head lowering, eyes closed as the reality of Renji's wellbeing finally reached his heart.

Smiling faintly Toshiro raised his head and removed his hand pausing slightly to gaze at Renji just for a second longer. Then he moved silently to the window and agilely dropped down to the ground gently sliding the open window to its previous position. Glancing into the room and to the redhead once more he moved away from the building and flash stepped back to the 10th division barracks lighter of heart.

What Toshiro hadn't noticed was the fact that Renji had been awake the entire time. When the small taicho had come to the window Renji had been resting with his eyes closed berating himself for getting so injured on a routine mission of all things, when he heard the window slide open and his eyes flashed open darting towards the noise. He saw that it was the 10th squads taicho sneaking through the open window, at that moment Toshiro's brilliant blue-green eyes were focused on the floor ready to drop down from the sill.

Quickly closing his eyes again Renji relaxed his body curious to see what business the cute taicho had in this room. '_Wait… did I just think 'cute'_.' Renji almost groaned. '_Tch, gotta stop thinking about him that way. I know he's just about all grown up now but damn stupid brain, what did I thi…?'_ Suddenly Renji's thought processes abruptly stopped entirely as he felt the _damn fucking sexy_ taicho rest his hand lightly on his chest. A tingling sensation flared out around where Toshiro rested his hand. _'Nghnn oh by the gods! What the hell?'_ Renji thought half in panic half in excitement.

Renji's hand twitched then curled into a fist under the light blanket that rested over his body. He was sure his heart sped up significantly and then all too soon the object of his sweet torment was removed. Renji could swear he felt the blazing turquoise stare of the small taicho as the tingles on the skin of his chest slowly abated. He let out a small breath when he heard the scrape of the window slide back to its original position. He waited long enough to feel the reiryoku of the small taicho to move away before he opened his chocolate eyes and looked towards the window.

His hand moved to cover the place on his chest where the small taicho's hand had rested and rubbed it absently. "What the hell." Renji muttered gazing out the window where the recent object of his fantasies had left. He sighed and looked up at the ceiling. '_So much for a restful night._' He thought shifting uncomfortably and looking down at the now tented sheet that lay over his lap and grimaced. _'Why did Hitsugaya-taicho come here to check on me? Hnn maybe Matsumoto was worried.' _Renji nodded to himself. '_That must have been it, Hitsugaya-taicho must have sent her on a mission and she wouldn't go unless someone checked on me.' _He smiled wryly. _'Bloody Matsumoto, she's always getting Hitsugaya-taicho to do trivial things.'_ He sighed again and settled down trying to ignore his raging hard on. He was also ignoring the unusual actions Toshiro had taken just to 'check' on him. Sometimes our Renji could be quite dense.

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><p>Toshiro sighed. It had been almost a year since then and as a result of that incident he hadn't stopped thinking about Renji since. He frowned. He had never really considered his sexuality prior to that incident. Contrary to popular belief Toshiro considered Hinamori as family, like a sister, just like Matsumoto was like a meddling aunt. He was seventeen now and until that day all his focus had been on getting into the Shinōreijutsuin for training to be a Shinigami and then to get into the Gotai 13, then he became a taicho, his sexuality was never an issue to be considered. Toshiro frowned again, his arms crossed as he contemplated the courtyard in front of him, leaning against a support pole in front of the dojo. He supposed he could be attracted to females; it was just that right now he was unconditionally attracted to Renji Abarai. He sighed and glanced towards the direction of the 6th division barracks again then turned towards his quarters, his hand rubbing his forehead absently, thinking that he felt a headache building.<p>

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><p><strong>AN:<strong> Kay, I hope that went well... I never know how long to make a chapter. Hopefully it's long enough for you guys! I'm on holidays at the moment so I hope I get to finish this story before I have to go back to uni. Next chapter is gunna be lots of lemony goodness. Anyways whaddya all think?

_Some Japanese words:_  
><em>taicho - <em>is the word for 'captain'.  
><em>fukutaicho<em> - is the word for 'vice captain'.  
><em>shinigami<em> - 'Death God'.  
><em>reiryoku <em>- a persons spiritual energy.  
><em>Shinōreijutsuin - <em>is actually the Shino Academy in Seireitei.  
><em>Gotai 13 - <em>The thirteen divisions of the shinigami that protect Soul Society.


	2. Chapter 2  Oh What Fun!

**AN:** Okay uploading _probably_ wont be this fast all the time. I just got excited with this next scene and couldn't help myself. So enjoy all the lemony goodness everyone.

**Disclaimer:** I'm hoping someone that loves me will give me the rights to Bleach for my birthday... its coming up soon. But till then I don't own the smexy characters... oh alright... I don't own Bleach either. *sigh*

**WARNING:** Lots and lots of RenjixAnother. Very explicit material people so don't say I didn't warn ya'll! Rated M for a reason!

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><p><strong>Chapter Two - Oh What Fun!<strong>

Renji was currently sprawled in the middle of the large bed crimson red hair splayed out around his head, the only bedding still attached was the bottom sheet as he writhed in pleasure. He moaned heatedly as the man licked up his rigid hard cock.

"Oh fuck that's so good! Hhgnnnn…" The man's body was positioned on his stomach between Renji's spread legs, his arms on top of the redhead's thighs as he concentrated on laving Renji's twitching member with his hot tongue. Renji moaned as his cock was suddenly engulfed in wet sucking heat. His stomach muscles constricting as he leaned up on his elbows to look down his body.

"Yesss. Oh yeah, let me fuck your mouth." He groaned as he threaded his right hand through the short silky ebony hair of his lover and began to thrust shallowly holding his head captive. The man let him, relaxing his throat as Renji's thick hard cock plunged into his moist heat over and over again, raising himself slightly on his hands so Renji could get a better angle. The man moaned his eyes closed in pleasure as Renji's head dropped back in ecstasy releasing an aggressive growl at the vibrations of his lovers moan caressed his cock.

Suddenly Renji pulled the man up, the large head of his cock popping out of his lovers mouth as Renji dragged him up his body before rolling them both over so he was on top.

"If you keep doing that I would have exploded in your mouth, but I wanna fuck you so bad." Renji growled positioning himself between his lovers muscled thighs, he slowly ground his hips into the man beneath him their cocks rubbing together in sweet friction as both men groaned in pleasure.

The redhead licked the ebony haired man's mouth asking for entry. The man almost immediately opened as Renji plundered his lips, their slick hot tongues battling for dominance. Renji won as usual and his mouth worked its way down the man's neck nipping and laving as he moved.

The redhead plunged two fingers into his lover's mouth as his lips concentrated on the sweet spot where the man's neck met his shoulder, biting and sucking. His lover moaned around Renji's fingers as he licked and sucked, his talented tongue mimicking what he had been doing to Renji's cock a few minutes ago.

When Renji decided that his fingers were lubricated enough he removed them from the man's mouth and returned to assaulting his lips with his own. Renji reached down moving the man's legs further apart and over his own thighs then trailed his finger between the man's ass cheeks slipping between them to rub lightly around his opening.

The man whimpered in anticipation and writhed on the bed as Renji teased him by dipping his long fingers just inside the tight rim of muscle then withdrawing over and over again. "Fuck Renji just do it!" The man's voice was hoarse with desire.

Renji grinned and simultaneously bent over the man, bit him on the neck and plunged his first finger in deeply. The writhing man let out a shout of pleasure mixed with pain and panted heavily.

"Another. Now!" He demanded his dark grey eyes blazing with lust and Renji plunged another into his opening pausing for half a second before beginning to fuck the man with his fingers, twisting, scissoring and shoving roughly. The redhead hooked his fingers slightly searching for that little nubbin of pleasure.

The man's eyes rolled as his head dropped back and his back arched as Renji caressed the exact right place. "Oh god Renji, yes, fuck me, fuck me now!" The man demanded panting.

Knowing that the man liked it a little rough, okay a lot rough, Renji licked his palm and grasped his cock making it wet as he also spread around the pre-cum that had leaked from his body. He removed his fingers and lifted his lover's legs pushing them up to get good access to the man's opening.

Renji reached down, grasping his own cock in one hand, the other man's ankle in the other and rubbed his cock into the man's ass cheeks. Panting he pushed forward and groaned as the head of his cock started to ease through the man's tight wet hole. Pausing he dropped the man's ankle and attacked his lips just as he savagely thrust his cock deep into the man's heat.

The man screamed out his fierce delight into Renji's mouth as just the right mixture of pleasure and pain flooded through his body. Renji hissed in pleasure. "Fuck you're so hot when you do that. God, and so fucking tight!" The redhead growled as he paused for a bare second to let his lover adjust to his large cock and savouring the feeling of the tight wet heat enclosing his large member.

His lover moaned gripping Renji's upper arms for leverage and writhed hooking his legs up higher around the redheads back. "Oh god, move." His lover moaned his eyes gleaming grey slits of lust.

Renji grinned grinding his hips in circles as the man moaned. Suddenly Renji drew back and snapped his hips forward plunging deeply, groaning at the feeling of his lover's tight wet heat as the man whimpered loudly in pleasure.

"Fuck you feel so good" Renji groaned as he rose up slightly and started to pound into the man's tight deep opening. His hips thrusting wildly as he adjusted his angle slowly searching for that right spot. Renji's next thrust made his lover grip his arms tightly and yell gasping.

"Oh yeah, right there!" Renji grinned and began to thrust over and over again in exactly the right spot, forcing a sound from his lover every time he thrust, hitting that pleasure rocketing sweet spot.

Renji could feel the white hot tingling sensation that meant he was getting close, he quickly licked his hand and reached down grasping his lover's firm cock beginning to pump his hand with the same rhythm as his thrusts. The man groaned panting.

"Oh yes Renji I'm close. God don't stop. Harder!" He almost yelled as Renji's thrusts became more savage, pounding into him roughly, their bodies straining together, muscles tight. Renji bent over the man groaning loudly as his thrusts became more desperate, sweat sheening over their tight hot bodies.

"Renji, please." The man begged almost out of his mind with pleasure. Renji could feel his climax boiling up as he leant down still pumping his hand and thrusting into his lover violently.

"Now! Come now!" Renji ordered into the man's ear and Shuhei Hisagi screamed, his abdomen contracted wildly and his climax exploded through his body, white light blasted behind his closed eyes.

As Renji felt Shuhei's inner walls contract around him he squeezed the cock in his hand firmly but gently letting him ride out his orgasm and thrust once, twice, three times more throwing his head back, all the muscles in his body tense as he shoved as deep as he could get. Renji's growling yell following the explosion in his body as he rode out his orgasm still rocking slightly into Shuhei.

Panting wildly the two men were still for a few seconds before Renji took a deep breath and shifted, slowly pulling out of Shuhei's entrance groaning at the feeling, echoed by an exhausted Shuhei. Renji dropped to lie next to his lover, both laying out flat trying to catch their breath.

Renji moaned as he sat up after a while, hooking the covers back on the bed with his foot. He rolled off the bed and padded into the small attached bathroom, stretching his long lean body as he moved. He found a small washcloth and soaked it under warm water squeezing out the excess. He padded back across the room and gently cleaned the white sticky substance off Shuhei's rock hard abs and cock, making the man grunt slightly his dark grey eyes slivered open then closed again.

Renji rolled Shuhei over and cleaned his own cum off of the man as well. Throwing the covers over the lazy ass, Renji moved back to the bathroom rinsing out the cloth and quickly cleaned himself up.

The redhead climbed back into the bed and rolled the half asleep, boneless Shuhei so he was lying on his side then cuddled up behind him resting his arm over Shuhei's chest, pulling the covers more securely over them. He sighed, which in the middle of it turned into a yawn. Both males relaxed slowly their breathing and heartbeats settling down into a more even rhythm, their bodies tingling with the aftermath of a great orgasm.

"Hmmnnnn. Greatest lover ever, never had anyone that could fuck me like you can." Shuhei mumbled eyes still closed.

Renji chuckled. "No doubt you'll find one someday. Either that or you'll switch to being permanently on top and won't care about anyone fucking you like I can." Renji grinned sleepily. "Which reminds me how is stalking Kira going?" Renji asked settling down comfortably resting his chin on top of Shuhei's ebony haired head.

Shuhei snorted. "It's not. Why do you think I attacked you and brought you here?"

Renji sighed. "Hnn. Well don't give up, yeah? I'm pretty sure Kira is hot in the sack." Renji chuckled as Shuhei elbowed him.

"How would you know." Shuhei grumped.

"I've just got a sixth sense about these things. I knew you would be a fucking psycho in the sack, and I was right." Renji replied.

Shuhei snorted again. "Yeah, yeah, whatever. Its only when I'm with you that I get all fucked up, psycho freak, sex crazy." Shuhei complained yawning.

Renji sighed relaxing into Shuhei's body languidly. "I'll take that as a compliment you ass." Renji's voice was slurring.

Shuhei smiled slightly. "Tch. Don't go to sleep on me buddy. We got to go to Rangiku's welcome home bash remember?"

Renji laughed. "That woman. Any excuse to drink. It's actually funny how she can turn anything into a party." He sighed. "Just a few minutes then we can shower and go." Renji said turning his face into Shuhei's neck.

Shuhei just grunted and Renji took that for an agreement.

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><p>Toshiro moaned as he caressed his aching member leaning his other hand against the shower wall as the tepid water pounded down onto his bent head. His whipcord lean muscled body shuddered as he began to pump his hand slowly, the silky cool water sliding down his skin a vibrant contrast to his blazing hot cock. He was imagining that Renji was with him, that it was Renji's hand on his cock, Renji whispering naughty words into his ears, Renji's body surrounding the younger man.<p>

Toshiro groaned quietly moving his hand faster, squeezing at just the right pressure. He began to pant as his cock pulsed, his balls squeezing up higher to his body. "Fuck." He moaned under his breath picturing the tattooed redhead in his mind's eye. His hips thrust forward and his hand squeezed almost savagely as red hot pleasure shot through his body as he came, grunting, trying to keep quiet.

He whimpered panting, as he slowly came down from his Renji induced peak. He sighed releasing his spent member and tilting his head back, brilliant turquoise eyes closed, as the cool water washed down his face and down the front of his body.

"Tch." He muttered frowning. _'Why in the hell am I so enraptured by Abarai?'_ He thought snapping out of his trance and grabbing the soap.

'_He's a bloody blockhead most of the time! He's stubborn, loud-mouthed, rude, cocky.'_ Toshiro paused, his hand mid scrub, eyes unfocused.

'_He's also fiercely loyal, willing to kill, fight and die for what he believes in, intensely determined in battle, he's violently protective yet thoughtful and caring.'_

The white haired taicho sighed at his thoughts and stepped back under the spray washing off the suds. He just couldn't get away from the man. He growled under his breath and almost violently turned off the shower taps.

'_Enough. The man isn't interested in me anyway. He's so hot blooded and I have always been icy cold. We could never work.'_Toshiro glared at nothing yanking the bath towel from its hook and vigorously rubbed his wet hair with it till the silky white strands stood out in every direction. He finished drying off and walked out to his bedroom the damp towel slung low around his hips showing off his tanned abs.

Moving to his closet he dropped the towel and started to dress in his usual white juban and heavier black kisode tucked into his black hakama. He swung the heavy sleeveless white captain's haori over it all and settled Hyorinmaru into his usual place resting vertically along his back secured in place by a green sash and star pin. Reaching back to the closet shelf he grabbed his brush and quickly ran it through his damp hair, as soon as it dried it would settle into its usual spiky do.

Matsumoto had made him promise to stop by the party for Renji when he was done with his work. Toshiro had considered not going. It was all he needed, to hang around Renji more than he had to. But he decided to anyway. It's not as if he was a glutton for punishment. No of course not. He had just made a promise to his fukutaicho that he shouldn't break. He sighed resignedly and finished slipping his feet into his tabi and zori then made his way out into the fading light of sunset.

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><p><strong>AN: <strong>Phew that was a bit mind blowing. Renji just kinda ran off without me on this one. Naughty Renji. BTW did anyone guess who Renji was with before it was actually revealed? Hehehehe. I don't know why I did that. Turned out interesting though.

_Also Japanese words translated:  
><em>_tabi_ - are the Japanese style split-toe socks. (Standard white socks that the Shinigami wear.)  
><em>zori<em> - are the Japanese sandals made of straw that the Shinigami wear.  
><em>hakama<em> - are the wide flowing traditional black pants that the Shinigami wear.  
><em>haori -<em> is the white over jacket that all the captains wear.  
><em>juban<em> - white undershirt.  
><em>kisode - <em>heavier shirt worn as an outer garment.  
><em>taicho - <em>is the word for 'captain'  
><em>fukutaicho<em> - is the word for 'vice captain'  
><em>Hyorinmaru - <em>Umm... you should know this but just in case: Hyorinmaru is Toshiro's Zanpakuto (sword/partner/soul weapon...).

Please please please review. Otherwise I don't know if anyone is reading and enjoying. ;D


	3. Chapter 3 Going Drinking

**AN: **Hiya pplz. I hope people are enjoying my story….. Although there have been many hits I haven't gotten even one review. Hnnn. Is it because I just suck? Or do people not want to bother? *sigh* Just a thank you would be nice *puppy dog eyes*. I'm not going to go so far as to hold the story hostage just to get reviews but …. Gad damn it's tempting. I now know why people do it, but it annoys the crap outta me when other people do it, so I won't.

**Disclaimer:** I just checked and no, I STILL don't own Bleach. *sigh* Maybe next time.

**WARNING:** This story will have LEMONS, swearing and adult situations. No lemons this chappie tho. Sorry to those of you who need a fix but… well sorry, I think Renji exhausted himself last chapter. I'm sure he will recover soon so don't worry.

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><p><strong>Chapter Three – Going Drinking.<strong>

Matsumoto grinned gleefully as she spotted her taicho ducking in through the doorway, his hand raised as he pushed aside the noren cloth hanging at the entrance to the izakaya. She knew he would come. She waved and called loudly from her seat around the long low table on the raised side of the room. She grinned at him as his brilliant turquoise eyes found their table and he made his way over to the raised floor.

He slipped out of his zori footwear and stepped up onto the tatami mat grimacing as Matsumoto yanked him over to sit between her and Renji. Toshiro let out a breath as he sat cross legged between his overly cheerful and already drunk fukutaicho and the laughing Renji. He had planned to sit next to the two older 8th division and 13th division taicho, Shunsui Kyoraku and Jushiro Ukitake who were quietly talking.

Shunsui was sprawled out on his side, his pink haori flowing out behind him, his straw kasa sitting towards the back of his head as he tipped a hiragata saucer of sake to his lips, he had one knee raised and his head resting on his hand, elbow on the floor. The white haired Ukitake was kneeling properly, sitting on his heels to the left of the 8th division's taicho, speaking quietly with him while slowly sipping his sake. Shunsui grinned lazily at Toshiro raising his sake cup and Ukitake smiled quietly nodding slightly in greeting from across the table. It looked like Shunsui had dragged along his more serious fukutaicho Nanao Ise, who was sitting primly on the other side of her taicho, trying to talk to him about missions for next week, which he ignored in favour of teasing her.

Most of the other usual suspects were present. Hisagi Shuhei was sitting next to Renji, then Kira Izuru, the quiet and studious fukutaicho of the 3rd division, then Ikkaku Madarame and Yumichika Ayasegawa, 3rd and 5th seat of the 11th division. Then there was Tetsuzaemon Iba, fukutaicho of the 7th division, wearing his trademark sunglasses and arguing with Ikkaku about a bet involving sake, while Yumichika complained about the ugly view from the window.

Next was Marechiyo Omaeda, the 2nd division's fukutaicho who was boisterously boasting about winning an unnamed fight that more than likely never happened, which was fine since nobody seemed to be listening. Then on the other side of Matsumoto there was Momo Hinamori who looked dazed and a more than a little drunk, no doubt Matsumoto's doing. Toshiro tsked and made a mental note to punish his fukutaicho with more paperwork tomorrow and to make sure Hinamori got home safely tonight.

Then between Hinamori and Ukitake was the 13th division taicho's subordinates Sentaro Kotsubaki and Kiyone Kotetsu who were arguing about who was going to pour their taicho's next cup of sake, which became irrelevant as Shunsui had already completed the task for Ukitake, unbeknownst to the arguing pair.

Toshiro's attention returned to Renji, Shuhei and Kira, who were joking about a mission where Shuhei ended up being chased by a screaming, pot wielding, half naked woman. Well, Renji was telling the tale and manically laughing at Shuhei while the 9th division's fukutaicho scowled at his best friend, a blush spreading across his tattooed cheeks. Kira was politely struggling not to laugh at the redhead's rendition of a wide-eyed, red faced and frantic Shuhei as he was chased down the main street of district 35 in Western Rukongai by the furious woman.

Suddenly Matsumoto glomped Toshiro sake cup in one hand and her other arm wound around his neck her huge breasts pressed into his back and right arm.

"Hisssugawa-kuuun, you gotta try tish shaakeee. Itsh the besht ewwa!" Matsumoto purposefully slurred, swaying so much that his body rocked side to side as she shoved the cup in his face.

He scowled taking the cup out of her hands and placing it on the table. "You know I don't drink Matsumoto." He said sighing. It was going to be one of those nights.

"Bwat itsh for Remji-kuun! We gotsh to cewebrate! Yew havta have at weast won." Matsumoto begged wrapping her other now free arm around the front of him. "Yew ish old enuff now." She added hiccoughing and grinning tipsily.

Renji turned, his cheeks a little red, hinting at his slightly drunken state. "Yeah Hitsugaya-taicho! Have a drink to celebrate my triumphant return! I bagged the block head that ran an illegal little weapon shop. Celebrate with us! And yah know, it's good for the body to relax occasionally." Renji laughed slapping Toshiro on the back, a little more exuberant than usual due to Shuhei who was controlling Renji's sake intake.

Matsumoto had approached Shuhei earlier that day about her plans for the redhead and the small taicho. Usually not one to interfere in other peoples personal lives the grey eyed fukutaicho had been persuaded when he heard about Toshiro's interest in Renji.

Shuhei had been aware for some time about Renji's attraction for the young taicho, but had not been willing to interfere. However, as the two were best friends Shuhei decided to meddle a little, just this once. He had never even suspected the cool taicho of being interested in anyone, let alone his cocky best friend. Also, as Shuhei suddenly planned to put a little pressure on Kira tonight, he knew that he and Renji wouldn't be able to fool around as they usually did. He didn't want any misunderstandings between himself and Kira.

So Shuhei had agreed to Matsumoto's plan, which explained his willingness to get the redhead drunk. He was watching to make sure he didn't overdo it though. He didn't want Renji too drunk, just drunk enough so the redhead could act on his desire when the time was right.

Toshiro's eyes widened a bit as the redhead's slap on the back jolted him forward a little. He eyed the sake saucer warily and sighed as the chocolate brown eyes of the redhead grinned at him.

'_Geez, how do I get myself in these situations?'_ Toshiro thought sighing. _'Bloody Matsumoto and damn Renji's sexy eyes. I suppose just one wouldn't hurt._' He relented, picking up the sake saucer and taking a small sip. His brilliant turquoise eyes widened as the sake burned a liquid trail of fire down his throat making it seize.

Toshiro spluttered, quickly setting down the cup before pressing a hand to his burning chest. "By the gods." the young taicho coughed, eyes watering as Renji grinned and Matsumoto leaned back laughing her head off.

Although once the violent burn had eased a little, Toshiro hmmed as tickling warmth flooded through his body. '_That actually wasn't half bad.'_ He thought picking up the saucer and taking another small sip. This time he was expecting the fiery trail of sensations and controlled his reaction barely. He sighed as the warmth flooded through his body again.

"This is actually not too bad." He said smirking at Matsumoto's mew of disappointment.

Although most of Matsumoto's plan hinged on Toshiro getting at least a little drunk, she was expecting to have a little more fun with teasing the small taicho when he first started drinking. She shrugged; well at least getting him drunk was going to be easier.

Renji grinned again at Toshiro's words. He thought it was bloody adorable the reaction from Toshiro's first sip, and then was impressed that Toshiro could handle the strong rice wine as he took a second sip. He unconsciously leaned towards the small taicho as he spoke quietly.

"Don't worry most people have that reaction the first time. Some people are put off by it. I'm impressed that you got used to it so quickly, it really is a relaxing drink, does the soul good." Renji smiled leaning his shoulder against Toshiro, liking the flush that spread across the younger taicho's face.

Unbeknownst to Renji the flush that suddenly ran across Toshiro's features could not wholly be blamed on the sake. Most of it could be attributed to the deep sexy voice Renji was speaking in and the light pressure from his shoulder.

"Hnn." The taicho responded noncommittally as he had barely understood what the redhead was saying, distracted by the tingling sensations that flooded through his body. Desperately the taicho distracted himself by taking another larger sip from the sake saucer still in his hand, setting it down on the table as Renji's attention turned back towards Kira and Shuhei at something the blond was saying.

Toshiro's concentration was still directed towards Renji and his arm that was pressed against his own. He didn't notice the mischievous Matsumoto refilling his sake saucer.

As the conversation through the night continued Toshiro barely realised how much sake he was drinking, as every time the tattooed redhead's attention rested on him he would take a sip of the fiery liquid to distract himself afterwards. Then his fukutaicho would pour more sake as soon as he was distracted again. As expected it didn't take long before Toshiro was pretty damn drunk.

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><p><strong>AN: <strong>LMAO ok ok ive left it at a little cliffy. Ya'll just havta wait till next time to see what happens. Actually I had planned on having the whole night as one chapter but the thing just grew and grew and grew and before I knew it there was enough material for two chapters! Just this one is a little shorter as I had to find a good place to finish.

Till next time!

_Japanese words:_  
><em>Noren<em> - a rectangular piece of cloth traditionally hung in front of the store to help prevent the elements and dust coming in. It also became a sign that the establishment was open.  
><em>Izakaya<em> - traditional Japanese drinking establishment that also serves food.  
><em>Tatami mat<em> – traditional Japanese flooring.  
><em>Hirigata<em> – flat oval shaped saucer used as a sake cup.


	4. Chapter 4  End of Night

**AN:** YATTAA! I got my first review! Nawwww I am so happy! Thank you Lady Gil Beil-san! You totally made my day! As a result I was all fired up and completed this chappie in no time!

**Disclaimer:** Really, do I have to do this every time? It's depressing me to have to say that I don't own Bleach so often. *sigh* So yeah… I don't own bleach.

**WARNING: **Adult situations, drinking, etc, etc. This is an M fanfic pplz please be aware!

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><p><strong>Chapter 4 – End of the Night<strong>

It was closing towards the end of the night. Shuhei, Ukitake and their subordinates had left not too long ago, Omaeda, Iba and Ikkaku were passed out on the floor. Omaeda from his own heavy drinking, Iba and Ikkaku from their drinking competition that started not long into the night, it wasn't clear who had won as they had both passed out at the same time.

Yumichika was in a dreamlike state kneeling at the window blearily staring out at the moon one elbow on the sill. Hinamori was passed out, head on Matsumoto's lap. Shuhei and Renji were arguing about something, or nothing depending on your point of view, as Matsumoto put her two cents worth in every now and then.

Kira was looking slightly drunk as he silently watched the two best friends rant. He wasn't even sure if they were paying attention to each other as they started to talk over one another about completely different things. Kira was more intoxicated than he looked, he was just good at disguising it. Although he wasn't looking forward to trying to stand.

Matsumoto yawned looking down at Hinamori. She poked her friend's cheek. "Ooooyii! Momo-chan, wake up." She yawned again. "I'm going, gotta take Hinamori home." She announced to the group.

Renji blinked at her blearily. "Hnn, kay."

Shuhei grunted hiding a smile. "Yeah, it's getting late." The ebony haired fukutaicho with the 69 tattoo on his face groaned. "I gotta take Kira home." He said grinning at Renji as he swayed slightly to his feet. Renji's face brightened and he grinned back as if he realised something and chuckled.

"Come on Kira, let's get you home." Shuhei said helping the very unsteady blond to his feet.

"Hughn? Oh rite, mkay." Kira blinked up at Shuhei as he leaned on the man's muscled body, arm somehow around the broader man's shoulders, Shuhei's arm around his waist. The pair made their way to the door as Matsumoto finally got Hinamori to wake up.

"Renji-kun, could you make sure Hitsugaya-taicho gets home?" Matsumoto asked as she hauled Hinamori upright, slinging her friends arm over her shoulder.

Renji looked around blinking at the state of the other occupants around the table. By then Yumichika had passed out too, head on the sill and one arm hanging out the window. He then turned his head to Toshiro seeing that the smaller man was trying to get to his feet.

"I can get home myself Matsumo….urk!" Toshiro suddenly listed to the side his words cut off in surprise as Renji grabbed his wrist, catching him before he could crash through the screen separating their space from the next one.

Renji chuckled. "Yeah, I can do that Matsumoto." He said still holding the younger mans wrist as the unsteady Toshiro slumped back to the floor.

"Hnn, you jush make shure Hinamori gehts home shafe Matshumoto." The small taicho glared at his fukutaicho warningly, unaware that his famous glare had waned a bit from ferocious to just damn cute. She giggled turning Hinamori to the door. "Yes taicho." She said in amusement guiding the groaning Hinamori out into the street.

Toshiro was frowning and moving his tongue around in his mouth. "My toungesh not workin propaly." He stated seriously one hand still hanging in Renji's grasp the other moving to his own face. He put his hand over his mouth and pushed his cheeks in with his thumb on one side and his fingers on the other. "My facsh is numb too." He said around his hand, hiccupping then looking surprised at the noise.

Renji almost groaned at how damn cute the young captain was, he chuckled wryly rising relatively steadily to his feet as he released the taicho's delicate but strong wrist. "That's what happens if you drink too much sake taicho." He said amusement warming his deep voice. He moved past the swaying young man to where the raised floor stepped down and sat, he slipped on his zori and turned towards the white haired man.

Renji laughed at the sight that greeted him. Toshiro was experimenting with his numb face, he had put his slender hands on either side and was pushing and pulling making fish faces as he pushed. _'God damn, he's so cute when he's drunk.'_ The redhead thought chuckling. He waved getting Toshiro's attention and motioned him to sit next to him. "Come here drunkard, we gotta get these zori on you." He said trying to restrain his laughter.

Toshiro abruptly stopped what he was doing and pointed dramatically at Renji. "I ish not drunk. Itsh jusht my facsh is numb." Toshiro started to stand then decided it was easier if he didn't and dropped back to the floor. "Itsh that damn Mashumoto, shwesh the dunkard." He complained as he slowly crawled towards Renji on his hands and knees concentrating on the floor.

Renji's breath caught at the sight of Toshiro lithely crawling towards him and swallowed hard, clearing his throat. What made it sexier was the fact that Toshiro didn't even realise that he was the picture of temptation. That is he was, until he tried to simultaneously sit and swing his legs in front of him. Somehow he managed to tangle his legs around each other and ended up flat on his back, blinking in confusion at the ceiling, his feet towards Renji.

Renji snorted and grasped the closest ankle to him and began to slip Toshiro's zori onto his feet. "I'd believe that it was Matsumoto's fault. Damn woman is slippery." He said, quickly tying the second shoe on Toshiro's foot and reluctantly letting the slim ankle go, his fingers tingling.

He stood looking around the izakaya noting that there were a few people still hanging around the drinking establishment. He waved over a server asking if someone could send a jigokucho to the 11th, 2nd, and 7th division barracks for his passed out friends. The server agreed, as they keep a few of the butterflies on hand for just this kind of situation. He thanked the server, who bowed and walked off. He turned back to Toshiro who was still lying on his back, eyes closed and smiling slightly for some reason.

"Yo taicho, time to go." He said quietly as he knelt on one knee on the tatami mat, leaning over the younger man balancing his weight on one arm, hand close to the younger mans side. Toshiro suddenly opened his brilliant turquoise eyes blinking at the chocolate ones hovering above him and smiled brilliantly. Renji caught his breath; he didn't think he had ever seen the young taicho smile like that before. It was magnificent. The redhead swallowed and looked away struggling to keep his self-control.

He cleared his throat as he raised his upper body so he was just kneeling next to the small taicho rather than leaning over him. "Come on, up ya get." The redhead's voice was hoarse as he helped the younger man to his feet. Toshiro stood on his own for about 2 and a half seconds then slowly started listing to the side.

"Ootcha, Hitsugaya-taicho, don't think yah'll be walkin on yer own now." Renji chuckled as he caught the young man, arm around his shoulders.

Toshiro blinked and grasped the back of Renji's kisode to further steady himself. "Hnn. Mebbe not." He commented blearily, tipping his head back to look up at the taller shinigami pressed to his side. Renji started to guide them both towards the door lifting a hand in thanks to the owner as they passed the bar. He glanced down at the younger man's white hair as the other man concentrated on the floor, suddenly realising how tall the taicho had become. He had certainly grown in the last few years, his forehead was level with Renji's shoulder and he fit perfectly at his side.

Renji took a deep breath of the cool night air as the pair finally emerged into the street, the fresh air accomplishing the feat of clearing away some of the fukutaicho's fuzziness. They turned towards the 10th division's barracks and slowly weaved their way to their destination. It was late and the streets were dark and quiet, the only sound was the gentle pat of their zori on the cobbles.

Renji was uncharacteristically quiet as they walked arms around each other through the streets of Seireitei. He was enjoying the feeling of the body pressed to his side, every now and then the smaller man would swerve leaning more heavily into Renji's body.

Suddenly the younger man started to speak. "Thish ish all your fault, yah know." Toshiro blurted, now no barrier between his thoughts and his mouth, the sake having lowered the taicho's usual defences. Renji blinked down at the younger man frowning slightly. "Huh?" The redhead said in confusion.

"Thish ish your fault, me being skunk." Toshiro slurred. Renji smiled slightly at the mis-spoken word, automatically translating it to the word 'drunk'. "You kept lookin at me, and touching me, an*hic*… smellin good, an lookin good." Toshiro gestured wildly with his free hand. "Then Matshumoto kept fillin my cup, an I kept drinkin cause I needed the dishtraction." The ranting taicho groaned and kept peering down at the ground trying to see where he was going oblivious to what he was revealing. He was just annoyed at what state he was in and wanted to tell someone off.

Meanwhile Renji, who wasn't as drunk as he usually was, wasn't oblivious to the meaning behind the turquoise eyed taicho's words and he was staring down at the man in shock, his feet on autopilot. The redhead's heart started to pound as he took a deep calming breath. The words rebounded in his brain going around and around trying to think of any other situation that would fit those words other than Hitsugaya-taicho being attracted to him. Renji swallowed, he couldn't think of any other situation that would fit the younger man's words.

Suddenly a surprised smile spread across his face. _'Hnnn, really Toshiro-kun?'_ He thought smugly.

"Say Hitsugaya-taicho, do you have anyone you like romantically?" Renji asked casually, watching the side of the younger man's face closely, the sake affecting the redhead enough to gather his courage and ask the question.

"You." Came the immediate answer. Then the turquoise eyed man's head snapped up, suddenly realising what he had said. "Umm, no." He laughed awkwardly his brilliant eyes wide, suddenly more sober than before. Renji grinned predatorily as the younger man released him and unsteadily backed away from the redhead. The fukutaicho was expecting some sort of awkwardness in response to his question, or little tell tale sign not a straight out answer, but he was glad Toshiro had given him one.

"Haha, I was just joking." Toshiro smiled uneasily hands raised, continuing to back away from the slowly approaching redhead. Suddenly Toshiro's retreat was halted by the street wall the hilt of his zanpakuto clinking against the stone, his eyes getting wider if that was possible. Renji's eyes gleamed as he leaned both hands on the wall either side of the nervous man.

"Hnnn, didn't sound like a joke to me, sounded pretty honest actually." The redhead purred lowly stopping a breaths width away from the other man's body, his lips brushing the cute shell like ear as he spoke, the smell of vanilla and ice emanating from the silky white hair.

Toshiro shivered his breath catching as the redhead's shoulder and tattooed neck filled his vision. Gasping when the older man's lips brushed his ear, Toshiro reflexively grasped the front of Renji's kisode when his knees weakened, tingling flooding through his body from the touch of his ear.

Renji smiled brushing his lips against Toshiro's ear again, inhaling the unique scent deeply as the younger man let out a quick breath. "I've been watching you for a while taicho, your piercing brilliant eyes make me want to see them dazed and filled with lust, your gorgeous tan skin makes me yearn to touch you, your agile body makes me ache to explore you, you awaken my hunger." Renji growled as he lifted his head to gaze into Toshiro's eyes willing the man to believe his words as he talked.

Toshiro stared into Renji's shadowed eyes as the man spoke unable to look away from the honesty reflected back at him. An unwilling groan escaped his lips as the redhead's words pierced his body sending a wash of longing coursing though his frame, the younger man's eyes became heavy lidded with desire, his breath coming in quick pants.

"Tell me." Renji ordered. "Tell me what you want." He added as Toshiro blinked at him.

"Yes." Toshiro murmured. "Everything." He blurted, sake still affecting the usually reserved taicho.

Renji smiled in satisfaction getting the answer he wanted. He finally closed the hairsbreadth distance between them and pressed his large body against Toshiro's leaner one, pushing him flat against the wall. He threaded his big hand through the silky pure white strands at the back of Toshiro's head and lowered his own head pausing just before his lips met the white blondes. Renji savoured this moment and the sensations of Toshiro's lean body pressed hard against his own more heavily muscled one.

Toshiro gasped breathless, as Renji's hard body came into contact with his own. His hands slid to grasp the sides of the redhead's kisone as the man's head lowered to his own and paused. Toshiro waited with bated breath as the redhead's heavy lidded chocolate eyes gleamed into his own. Then fire shot through his body as their lips met, Toshiro's eyes slid shut.

Renji shifted slightly pushing one knee between the other man's legs wanting to get closer to Toshiro as the smaller man arched, pushing his lean body closer. Renji opened his mouth and ran his tongue along the seam of the soft lips that had tormented him for a long time. Toshiro breath caught, his lips parted slightly in surprise at the feeling of that velvet tongue sliding against his lips.

Renji took advantage of the opening and slid his tongue into the silky heat. Toshiro tasted strongly of sake and underneath the younger man's unique taste burst across Renji's tongue. Peppermint and watermelon. Growling the redhead's other hand left the wall where it had been resting and slid up Toshiro's lean back pulling him slightly away from the wall and more firmly against his chest.

Toshiro moaned heavily into the man's mouth as the redhead skilfully controlled the scorching kiss, caressing and exploring rather than plundering. Renji didn't want to scare the young man, he was pretty sure the taicho was innocent in the ways of sex as Toshiro tentatively started to participate. Renji groaned in encouragement delighting in the younger man's willingness as he ruthlessly controlled his own desire to ravish.

Renji tasted like sake, and underneath like sweet pineapple and honey. Toshiro whimpered letting go of Renji's sides and moving his arms around the bigger man, his hands sliding further up his back, hazily wondering what the tattooed man's skin would feel like. Renji's hand slowly slid down his back reaching his buttocks and pulled Toshiro even tighter against him. Suddenly Renji's arousal came into contact with Toshiro's lower abdomen making the smaller man freeze.

Renji blinked confusedly up at the stars from flat on his back, the sudden change in position making his head whirl. Sitting up his eyes darted around the street as he caught a flash of Toshiro's white haori in the distance.

"What the fuck?"

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><p><strong>AN: <strong> Awwww why did Toshiro run off just as it was getting good? I'm sure some of you probably can guess. Anywayz thank you once again Lady Gil Beil-san for reviewing, it is really very appreciated! I'm so happy. Other writers are right, review's are like crack, soooo goooooood! *laughs maniacally*

Till next time my suga bunnies!

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><p><em>Some Japanese Terms:<em>  
><em>Jigokucho<em> – Hell Butterfly – used as messengers and guides for the Shinigami.  
><em>Kisode<em> – heavier top worn as the black overlapping shirt of the Shinigami uniform.


	5. Chapter 5  Toshiro's Reson

**AN: **Alrighty here's another one! Don't hate me now…. This one is a little intense.

**Disclaimer**: Alright I don't bloody own Bleach. Stop nagging me!

**WARNING:** ANGST AHEAD! Adult situations rated M for a reason people!

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><p><strong>Chapter 5 – Toshiro's Reason<strong>

Toshiro's heart pounded fiercely as he stormed as quietly as he could through the 10th division's barracks towards his quarters. The normally severely controlled taicho was nearly having a panic attack. Images, feelings and emotions stormed through his sake soaked brain.

He was so focused on his internal conflict that he completely failed to notice the figure lounging on the pillows in the alcove he passed. She suddenly sat up and watched her taicho storm past concern washing over her features as she observed the panic and fear in the usually almost emotionless taicho. Matsumoto stood followed the frantic young man for a few steps then stopped, deciding to let him calm down alone, he obviously wasn't in any physical danger at the moment.

She swallowed then frowned a murderous look crossed her expression. _'Renji, that bastard. What the hell did he do!"_ She thought angrily. She had hoped something would happen tonight, maybe a kiss or maybe some heavy petting. She had trusted the fukutaicho not to do anything too serious, she thought she knew the redhead enough to know that he would be a gentleman. She sneered. _'Obviously I don't know him well enough!' _ She glanced towards the now closed door to her taicho's rooms and pursed her lips. _'Hnn, I'll try and talk to him tomorrow.'_ She thought and made her way to her own rooms.

Toshiro, now safely enclosed in his private rooms with the door locked, started to pace. He felt like a cornered animal, his brilliant eyes wide. He suddenly felt sick and rushed to the small bathroom kneeling over the toilet and retched miserably. Coughing and spitting into the toilet he panted then heaved again, moaning quietly afterwards. Slowly he climbed to his feet, leaning over the sink, rinsing his mouth out and splashing water on his face. He stood there quietly hanging over the sink elbows on either side for a while then raised his head looking into the mirror. His eyes were red and dull, his skin was sickly pale water dripping off his chin.

He sighed averting his eyes from his reflection and those haunted eyes then straightened. He listlessly moved to wipe his face on a towel. He thought he had forgotten. He _had_ forgotten. He had buried the memories so deep and behind so many barriers that those images, those feelings, those days had been obliterated. Obliterated that is until he was confronted with another man's obvious arousal. He shuddered crushing the towel in his hand, not at the memory of Renji, but at the memory of other men.

The other men who smelled of unwashed stink, the rancid stench overwhelming to the young boy he was so long ago. The other men who had violated him over and over during those nights and days until the pain had pushed the boy's mind far, far away from his fragile young body. The one man in particular who he had hunted down and killed years later after he had achieved his rank as a shinigami.

Suddenly the young taicho turned and blindly threw the towel he was holding across the bathroom, it unsatisfyingly thudded into the wall and dropped onto the floor. He turned to the bathroom sink and angrily swiped everything off the top, the toothbrush cup, miscellaneous bottles and bathroom paraphernalia crashed into the wall and clattered onto the bathroom tile, leaving smears of creams and liquids dripping down the wall. Leaning on the sink panting he suddenly screamed with rage.

Even now. Even now those bastards were fucking up his life.

Toshiro slumped down to the floor his back against the opposite wall to the sink, his knees bent, feet planted flat on the floor, forearms propped up on his knees with his hands hanging down now covered in cuts. He stared vacantly at his hands and the blood dripping down his fingers and patting onto the floor.

He didn't hear the pounding on the door to his rooms. Nor did he hear the splintering the lock made as it was forced open. He slowly looked up at the soft gasp he heard at the bathroom door and stared emotionlessly at his fukutaicho standing in the doorway. She turned quickly and spoke to someone behind her then turned back to him blue eyes wide.

"Hitsugaya-taicho?" She said tentatively. "What happened?" He didn't move, didn't acknowledge her question at all, he just continued to stare at her impassively, unwilling or unable to respond. He watched as she swallowed and slowly began to move towards him her worried blue eyes glancing towards the shattered mess on the floor then back to him.

"I need you to talk to me taicho. Are you all right?" She said shivering at his ice cold eyes, wincing as she looked away and saw his hands.

Suddenly he looked away from her and stood moving towards the sink and tuning on the tap.

"I'm fine Matsumoto. Leave." He said coolly beginning to clean the cuts on his hands.

"Let me do that for you taicho." She started, reaching for the first aid kit under the sink. He reached over and took the kit from her hands setting it on the sink.

"No Matsumoto, I don't need help. Just go." He said his voice low and controlled. He stilled his movements head bent staring at his hands as he waited for the blond to leave. When she didn't he sighed and opened the kit taking out a bottle of disinfectant and a pad. He opened the bottle one handed and poured a good dose onto both of his hands, mostly on the deepest cut on his left palm. The pad pressed to the cut and held it pressed to his palm. He curled his fingers so he could hold the padding one handed and reached in the kit for the roll of bandages.

He looked up as Matsumoto's hand came into view holding the roll. He raised his head so he could look at Matsumoto's face and sighed again holding out his injured left hand. She smiled tentatively and began to wrap the pad firmly to his palm using the roll. While she was doing that he absently examined this other hand noting the bleeding had stopped from the other minor cuts. When she was finished he moved out into the bedroom and slumped into one of the chairs in the corner of the room next to the window and looked out blindly.

Matsumoto sat in the other chair and watched him, waiting. When he began speaking his voice was in a monotone as if what he was saying had no importance whatsoever. It was all she could do not to rush over and hug the young man at the story that spilled out. Toshiro didn't look at her once, just sat there staring out the window legs crossed at the knee a picture of calm and composed maturity. Her fingers had curled into her palms her long nails digging crescents into her skin, rage boiling inside. When he came to the part about the man's death he sighed and dropped his head back against the back of the chair.

"I killed him Matsumoto. That man. When I found him he had another young boy with him. I had planned to bring him in. Arrest him and get the names of the others." Toshiro closed his eyes wearily. "But when I saw the boy…" He paused for a second lips thinning. "He had the same eyes. The eyes I looked at in the mirror for months afterwards. I couldn't stop myself. The rage just … it just consumed me." Toshiro's eyes opened again and he looked over at his fukutaicho. He smiled sadly. "You always said I had a temper." He looked away the smile disappearing. "I got so used to burying the memories and the feelings that I ended up buried everything. I think that's when everyone started to say that I was like ice. Cold and emotionless." He laughed bitterly and was silent for a while.

"It wasn't Renji's fault tonight. He couldn't have known." He said quietly, almost a whisper, head bent slightly. "Don't blame him."

Matsumoto shook her head silently. "I wont." She said simply voice shaking. "What do you need taicho? What can I do?" She added after a moment.

Toshiro inhaled deeply and let the cleansing breath out evenly. "Nothing, Matsumoto. There's nothing you can do. Just continue to be yourself." He said as he looked up and smiled at her. "Now, go to bed. It's late." He added leaning back into the seat and looking back out to the night.

She hesitated staring at the side of her taicho's face before standing quietly. "Yes Hitsugaya-kun." She said letting out a quiet breath of relief as Toshiro smiled slightly at the name. Then she turned and left quietly shutting the door as well as she could, considering it had a broken lock.

Matsumoto had held herself together through the whole story and all the way until she closed the door to her rooms, then she let go. She collapsed onto the floor, hugged herself and cried.

She cried for the little boy who had been so terribly abused. She cried for older boy that had killed in order to save a child. She cried for the young man who was still haunted by those horrifying memories.

Then she just cried.

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><p>Renji slammed into his room and threw his zanpakuto onto the bed surprising Shuhei who was sitting in a chair next to the window nursing a hot tea. Shuhei blinked as Renji glared at him.<p>

"What are you doing here?" Renji growled stripping off his zori and kicking them against the wall.

"I wanted to know how it went with Hitsugaya-taicho. Obviously not well if your mood is anything to go by." Shuhei said calmly sipping his tea.

Renji growled wordlessly and flopped into the other chair. "What do you know about that?" He asked frowning at the other man.

"Matsumoto and I planned to get him drunk and you to escort him home. Actually it was mostly Matsumoto's idea. We knew that something might happen if we got you two together with Hitsugaya-taicho's defences lowered a bit." Shuhei said grey eyes calm as he sipped again sighing contentedly.

Renji grunted. He wasn't surprised. Both Matsumoto and Shuhei were bloody conniving schemers. Not that Shuhei would ever admit it.

"Well?" Shuhei said arching a black brow in question. "What happened?"

Renji snorted. "A lot, and nothing." Renji growled getting up again to make himself a coffee. He was restless and it showed. "Anyway, if you two knew something might happen why in the hell are you here in my room?" Renji complained trying to avoid the topic.

Shuhei snorted. "As much as you like to deny it, you're too much of a gentleman to completely seduce him when he's drunk. Anyway, you would have been on the way to Hitsugaya-taicho's place, you wouldn't have come all the way back here if anything had happened." Shuhei explained. "Now tell me what happened." He added setting down his cup on the low table.

Renji finished making his coffee and returned to his seat, groaning as he sat. "Like a bloody dog with a bone you are." Renji complained setting his cup down on the table. "Honestly I have no fucking clue. Everything was going great. He had slipped up and admitted that he liked me romantically. We kissed." The redhead sighed stripping off his white headband, pulled the tie out of his hair and then ran his hand through the strands. "It was the most scorching hot kiss I've ever had. And then all of a sudden I'm staring at the stars flat on my ass and he's running for the hills." The redhead gestured widely and slumped back in his seat.

"What did you do?" Shuhei said frowning.

"Nothing!" Renji burst out. "It was just a kiss, and I was controlling myself as well, I wasn't pushing." He continued groaning leaning forward and dropping his head into his hands. "I just don't get it." He sighed.

"Well maybe he just got nervous." Shuhei commented picking up his tea and resumed drinking.

"Maybe." The redhead muttered head still in his hands.

"You going to give up on him." Shuhei asked curiously.

Renji's head shot up. "Hell no! Not now that I know he likes me the way I like him." He said firmly. Shuhei smiled.

The redhead looked at him curiously. "What happened with you and Kira anyway? You looked like you were planning something when you left the bar." Renji asked picking up his coffee.

"Ah yes, well…" The ebony haired fukutaicho smiled and proceeded to fill Renji in. Although their bed games were no longer on the table, they were still best friends and they told each other everything. Well…mostly.

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><p><strong>AN:<strong> WHEW that was intense! I hope you don't hate me now. Poor Toshiro. Just know that he does get a happy ending…..eventually. Hehehe.

Till next time my lovelies! =^.^=


	6. Chapter 6 Shuhei and Kira

*****EDIT*** Okay so I rewrote this chapter. I didn't like where I went with the scene at the bath house so I edited it out and fixed it up. Anyway I think this is a better idea.**

**AN:** Okay there I was busily writing the next chapter when suddenly Shuhei and Kira started to bug me. I had decided that Shuhei and Kira's relationship would be in a separate fanfic so I wasn't going to explain what had happened with them after the party. BUT suddenly they started to demand to be written. So here they are. *sigh* so demanding these characters.

**Disclaimer: ***pouts* I don't own Bleach. *sigh* Still hoping though.

**WARNING:** References to abuse and BDSM. If you don't like either skip this chapter or skip down to the line break. Rated M for a reason! Believe it! *snicker*

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><p><strong>Chapter 6 – Shuhei and Kira<strong>

Shuhei smiled as the blond headed fukutaicho leaned into his body, warmth radiating out from the touch. They had just exited the izakaya leaving Matsumoto to convince Renji to escort the extremely drunk white headed taicho home.

The ebony haired man had decided to finally get an answer from the 3rd division's fukutaicho tonight. He couldn't wait anymore. Shuhei knew that Kira was attracted to men. The blonde had come out of a long term relationship three months ago with a man from the 11th division. Not many people had known about it but Shuhei had been watching the quiet fukutaicho for years.

He hadn't liked what he saw while Kira was dating the brash man. The blond was more withdrawn than usual and had taken to not bathing in the public bath house like he used to. He had also started to push Shuhei and other friends away, he always had an excuse for not socialising with them but Shuhei had suspicions that the man Kira was dating was the reason. Kira's time when he was away from his duties was wholly taken up by the 11th division squad member. Shuhei had watched this with worry, unfortunately there was little he could do. He doubted Kira would thank him if he interfered and there was no guarantee that Kira would stay away from the man either. Shuhei had decided to wait and just be there for the blonde.

Three months ago Shuhei had enough when he saw the man ducking into a gay bathhouse that was known for its 'extra' services. He had followed him inside and watched as the man repeatedly had rough sex with multiple partners. Shuhei liked pretty rough sex himself but the sex the man was participating in was sadistic and bordering on torture.

Shuhei had just about intervened at the beginning of one particular scene, but then realised which section of the bathhouse he was in. This was the rough 'play' area of the club, where men went for rape fantasies and pain play. There was a signs in the hallway and in the rooms stating that the general safe word for that area was octopus. At no time did the boy that was with the man shout, say or even whisper the word that would stop the savage pain play so Shuhei had no right to intervene. The boy looked younger that Shuhei would have liked but he was of age, he wouldn't have been able to get into the bathhouse otherwise, they were pretty strict about that sort of thing.

Shuhei had stayed long enough to point out the scene to one of the safety supervisors that was on duty and left the decision to more experienced hands. If the supervisor decided the boy was unsafe he would intervene, that was their job and what they were trained to do. He then went to confront Kira. There was no way he was letting this go any further. Shuhei had left himself available to Kira in case the blond decided that he needed help. However in seeing how vicious the man could be he thought that Kira might be in a head space that meant that he didn't know how to get out of the situation he had found himself in.

When he had finally found out the blonde's whereabouts he had found himself standing outside Kira's rooms in the 3rd Division's barracks. He knocked quietly calling out to Kira, announcing himself. When there was no answer he frowned. He was positive Kira was there, he could even feel the fukutaicho's reiryoku. He knocked again more loudly and basically demanded Kira open the door. He tried the door knob grimacing when he found it locked. He was getting a bad feeling, it was unusual for the hard working fukutaicho to be in his rooms in the middle of the day and he had noticed there was something different about the blonde's reiryoku. He couldn't quite put his finger on it though.

Suddenly his eyes widened and he started to pound on the door. He knew what was different about Kira's reiryoku. It was weaker than usual, a lot weaker. He gave up trying to get the blonde's attention and began kicking at the door's lock. Suddenly the door burst open, Shuhei falling through. He caught his balance at the last moment before he hit the floorboards. Shuhei's heart almost stopped when he finally spotted the blonde's crumpled body collapsed in the doorway of the bathroom. It looked as though he had been trying to make it to the bathroom when he had collapsed.

Shuhei began to breathe again when he noticed that Kira was indeed alive as he knelt down next to him. He carefully rolled Kira over and clenched his teeth when the simple robe Kira was wearing gaped open a little. It revealed bruises, welts and cuts that were both old and new. This was what he could see. Shuhei's entire body was trembling with rage, at both the 11th division member and at himself. He cursed himself as he carefully picked the blonde up and moved him to the bed. He summoned a Jigokucho and sent fluttering to the 4th division with a emergency message about the situation, asking whoever received it to be discrete, but to hurry.

Shuhei then collapsed in a chair next to the bed, head in hands. Now that he looked back on Kira's behaviour he should have known. He should have tried harder to talk to Kira or to get that monster away from him regardless of what the blond wanted. He swallowed looking up at the unconscious form breathing shallowly on the bed and waited anxiously his eyes on the rise and fall of the blonde's chest.

Not long after he had placed the fukutaicho on the bed someone walked briskly into the room. He looked up and his eyes widened as the taicho of the 4th division, Retsu Unohana, quickly moved to the bed where Kira was laying. He stood and hastily made room for the woman. He moved to the other side of the bed watching as she moved her hands along Kira's body quickly, her hands about half a foot above the man and then carefully untied the robe that was covering him. Shuhei's hands clenched and his breathing quickened as the robe revealed more dark purple, green and yellow bruising, more cuts both deep and shallow and more painful looking welts and marks. Shuhei felt sick.

"Thank you taicho, for looking after him personally." He said quietly as she worked, already Kira's breathing was more even and steady. She glanced up at him gravely. "Of course." She said her eyes going back to her work.

"I have something I have to do." He said taking another look at Kira's face. The bastard was clever, Kira's face was more or less untouched. This abuse would not have been obvious to anyone passing by and all of Kira's friends, those that had known him well and would have noticed something wrong, had been pushed away.

Shuhei had left after the 4th division's taicho had paused and stared at him for a long while after his statement. She had pursed her lips but had not said anything as he turned towards the door. She could guess where he was going and didn't completely approve but couldn't quite bring herself to stop him.

He had gone back to the bath house and had patiently lay in wait, abnormally calm. He didn't know why. He normally abhorred violence and avoided it whenever possible and when he couldn't his heart was conflicted.

Until now.

Now not only was he contemplating violence and actively seeking it, he was planning on killing the man and his heart was completely at ease.

When the man left the establishment he was alone. Shuhei smiled. He followed the man and once he was in a fairly secluded area he dropped silently down behind him. He drew his zanpakuto deliberately making a sound as he drew and the man turned his eyes narrowing.

"What do you want?" The man said rudely, ignoring the naked blade.

Shuhei didn't answer, instead he released his shikai. "Reap Kazeshini." He said quietly and his zanpakuto took the form of two black as death scythe blades joined by a long chain. "Did you know that I don't like the shape of my shikai?" He asked quietly as the man frowned.

"You wanna die?" The man said his hand on the hilt of his own zanpakuto.

"It's the shape of it." Shuhei said still ignoring the man's words, he raised the blade to his face and looked over it at the man with narrowed eyes. "The shape has connotations of death nothing else." He continued staring at the man, eyes emotionless.

The man's eyes narrowed. "Tch, whatever princess. At least I get a workout." He said drawing his zanpakuto and lunging at Shuhei in the same movement.

Shuhei's head lowered slightly, eyes still on the man as he charged. Just as the man's swing would have connected Shuhei dropped down in a crouch, one leg extended and swung. He felt Kazeshini hum as the blade easily slipped through the man's defences and embedded itself in the man's chest with a heavy thud.

He made a wet gurgling sound, eyes opened wide. Shuhei rose from the crouch holding Kazeshini and the man upright as he moved to stand in front of the man. He looked straight into the man's eyes, face calm as the eyes blinked with disbelief. Shuhei tilted his head to one side watching as the man's eyes slowly drained of life.

"If you had killed him you wouldn't have had an easy death as the one you now have." Shuhei said quietly to the now dead man.

Afterwards Shuhei had made the body disappear and apparently no-one had missed him. Everyone though he had just run away from the Gotei 13. Kira had healed both outside and mostly inside after some long talks with the taicho of 4th division and had never asked about his previous partner. He once said that he was relieved that the man was no longer in his life. Everyone soon forgot about the man, Shuhei had never mentioned anything about what he had done and the taicho of 4th division had never asked.

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><p>After the celebratory party for Renji the pair weaved their way toward the 3rd squad's barracks, mostly due to Kira's complete lack of equilibrium. Shuhei listened as the normally restrained fukutaicho began to sing softly under his breath. It was a sweet melody about two people who never quite ended up together, something always getting in the way of their love. He wondered distractedly if the song had any bearing on their situation.<p>

They finally reached their destination and moved as quietly as they could towards Kira's rooms. It didn't help that Kira kept tripping on both Shuhei's and his own feet, then laughing, his own hand trying to muffle the sound. Shuhei snorted at the blonds antics trying to keep his balance when Kira's feet came into contact with his own.

"Come on love. Gotta get you into your rooms before the whole barracks comes out to see who's attacking the place." Shuhei said as they once again ended up unbalancing into the wall with a thud. He guided the blond into his rooms, glancing around them as he shut the door behind them with a relieved breath.

It wasn't until Kira had sat on his bed that his sake muddled brain realised what Shuhei had said, the small endearment that he had muttered. He flopped back on the bed wondering what exactly it meant. Did it mean that the man he had loved years actually liked him in that way? Or was it just a term of endearment for a beloved friend that had just slipped out. Kira sighed closing his eyes he couldn't remember Shuhei ever having a long term relationship. He knew that he and Renji had a fuck-buddies relationship but he knew it didn't go further than that. Not that Shuhei knew that the blond knew.

Kira wondered if Shuhei would consider himself as a fuck-buddy. Then Kira shook his head answering himself. No. He didn't want to be in a fuck-buddy relationship with Shuhei. Kira didn't think that he could handle it. Knowing Shuhei like that then letting him go when he started to date someone. He grimaced to himself. Better to just be friends, then he could hold the small glimmer of hope close that one day he and Shuhei would get together. Kira smiled dazedly eyes still closed.

Shuhei was standing over Kira watching the multitude of expressions cross the blonds face smiling in bemusement. _'What in the hell is he thinking?'_ The taller man thought head cocked to the side, ebony eyebrow raised. He crouched shaking his head and began to untie the blonde's zori. Kira sat up suddenly foot in Shuhei's hand.

"What are you doing?" Kira said nervously looking down at Shuhei's bent head.

"What does it look like? I'm taking off your shoes." The ebony haired fukutaicho said calmly as he finished one foot, set aside the zori and reached for the second foot. Kira tensely let Shuhei grasp his ankle and start to untie his second shoe. When Shuhei was done Kira suddenly stood moving towards the chairs in his room looking out the window, his heartbeat pounding in his chest, leaving the man crouched beside the bed.

Shuhei slowly unwound his body from his crouch and stared at the blushing blond.

"Thank you for making sure I got home safely." Kira said, suddenly turning from the window eyes widening as he realised Shuhei had silently moved to right behind him and he was now staring straight at Shuhei's smiling lips.

"Hnn, is that a hint to leave Kira?" Shuhei said softly leaning in closer to him as the blond leaned back averting his eyes.

"Ahh, not really, it's just it's getting late and ….ngh!" Kira grunted in surprise as his back met the cool glass of the window not even realising that he had been backing away.

Shuhei stopped slightly away from the blond and sighed resignedly. "It's okay, Kira. I like you." He paused slightly, his head bent. "I like you a lot. But if you just want us to be friends, that's okay, I won't push you into anything you don't want." Shuhei backed away slightly, quietly waiting for a response his eyes averted.

Kira's eyes had widened considerably in shock wondering if he had fallen asleep on his bed just before when he was thinking about Shuhei in this kind of situation, it felt like a dream. "Nn..no! It's not that! I…" He stopped at a loss for words still not quite believing it.

Shuhei sighed turning so the tattooed side of his face only was revealed to the slim man. "Is it my scar? My face?" He said wearily raising his hand and touching the place where three thin scars trailed from his hairline down to his chin, his hand then dropping down to his side as he began to turn toward the door. He wasn't planning on asking that. It had just popped out and he was disgusted with himself.

Suddenly there was a crash behind him and Shuhei turned in concern and then surprise as a body barrelled into him. He automatically caught the smaller man around his waist his eyes wide as he stared down at the trembling man as Kira glared at him hands clutching at his chest hands clenched in Shuhei's kisode.

"No! No no no no no! Let me say something! I couldn't say anything before because I was in shock. I had been dreaming about this for years and when you said that you liked me it was unreal. I couldn't quite believe what I was hearing. It has nothing to do with your scars! I.." Here the frantic Kira dropped his eyes to Shuhei's chest and took a deep breath. "I like you too. A lot. I have for years, I just didn't know how to tell you. And then I didn't want to ruin our friendsh..ngh!" The blonde's rambling was cut off by Shuhei's lips. He had shifted his one hand from Kira's hip, tipped the blonde's face up and leaned down to kiss him.

Kira moaned quietly slowly relaxing, hands unclenching as Shuhei's lips softly caressed his own. He whimpered as the ebony haired man's lips gently left his and slowly lifted heavy lidded eyes to a smiling Shuhei.

"Why did you stop?" The blond asked then blushed at the question.

Shuhei's smile widened and he chuckled. "Because I am going to savour this beginning." He said and bent his head again ignoring Kira's puzzled look. Shuhei kissed the slim man again with slightly more passion but still closed mouthed pulling the slightly shorter man more firmly against his body.

The dark haired fukutaicho groaned as he pulled away from the kiss and backed to the door, letting the blond go and stopping him with an upraised hand as Kira started to step towards him.

"Savour remember." Shuhei said opening the door and stepping out.

"What?" Kira asked in bemusement still a little light headed from that kiss.

"You'll see." Shuhei chuckled, quietly shutting the door behind him as he left.

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><p><strong>AN: <strong>Phew. Hope you don't hate me for it but Kira's Ex took over and wouldn't give me the story line back. I tried I really did! I even hit him over the head with the ugly stick. Didn't work tho. *sigh* Sorry.

Oh and as a reward the next chapter goes up really fast! Hehe cause I started the next chapter before this one. Haven't finished it yet… and need some sleep so gunna havta wait a lil bit, just a smidge.

Enjoy!


	7. Chapter 7  Avoidance

**AN:** So yeah here's the next chapter. The one that was supposed to be Chapter 6 but ended up being Chapter 7 cause Shuhei and Kira kicked up a stink. I was going to make this one a bit longer but decided that since you get two chapters at once that it didn't really matter. So yeah, two chapters at once you lucky bunnies!

**Disclaimer:** Don't own Beach… *grrr*

**WARNING:** Usual warnings … nothing smexy or heavy in this chappie though. So enjoy!

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><p><strong>Chapter 7 – Avoidance<strong>

Renji was almost at his wits end. It had been three weeks since the night he and Histugaya-taicho had kissed and he hadn't seen the young man at all. He thought he had caught a glimpse of him on a couple of occasions but as soon as he turned to look properly, the turquoise eyed man had disappeared.

The redhead had hoped to gain Matsumoto's help in getting close to the man, but the blond fukutaicho was acting weird as well. Every time he had started to talk about anything other than shinigami business she suddenly had an excuse to leave. It was frustrating the hell out of him.

Renji growled wordlessly and stalked through the 9th division barracks looking for Shuhei. He found him standing outside his office talking to a squad member. Shuhei looked up and saw the obviously agitated redhead barrelling toward him with a glower on his face. He gestured into the office indicating to him to enter and continued the discussion with the startled squad member as Renji strode past.

"Get team three and have them investigate this report. If it is a black market business I want it shut down immediately. We can't afford to have them selling these sorts of medicines. Otherwise we are going to have a lot of sick people on our hands." The serious ebony haired fukutaicho stated firmly as he handed back the copy of the report.

"Give them a copy of the report and give me back the original for my records. Also send a message detailing the situation to division four with a list of the medicines; they will need to be forewarned just in case." He finished, dismissing the man and turned towards the door as the man bowed.

"Hai, Shuhei-sama." The man said respectfully casting a curious look at the now pacing redheaded fukutaicho as the door closed behind Shuhei.

Shuhei finished closing the door to his office and eyed his best friend. "Sit down and tell me what's wrong." He said moving towards the tray of hot beverage making supplies he kept in his office.

The redhead grunted and flopped down in one of the sofas in the corner of the office. "Have you spoken to Matsumoto recently?" Renji asked frowning down at his bouncing knee consciously stopping the motion.

"No. I've been busy. They still haven't appointed a new taicho of 9th division." Shusei responded frowning at the memory of his former taicho Tosen.

Renji sighed. "Right, sorry." He said immediately remorseful. "Have they said anything about that?" He asked.

Shuhei waved away the apology. "Yeah. Apparently they are looking into it." He responded setting a tray of tea and coffee onto the table. He set a large mug of coffee in front of Renji and sat, pouring himself a cup of green tea. "What makes you ask about Matsumoto?" He asked his dark grey eyes questioning as he sat back in his seat with his cup.

Renji sighed as he took a sip of the coffee, relaxing a little. "Hitsugaya-taicho has been avoiding me since that night three weeks ago, and Matsumoto doesn't stick around long enough for me to ask her about it." The redhead got straight to the point.

"Hmmm. That's strange. Matsumoto was the one that instigated this whole thing." Shuhei said frowning. "She must have a good reason." He added shifting and crossing his legs at the knee.

"Yeah but the problem is she's not talking to me about it. Therefore I don't know what's wrong. If I don't know what's wrong then I can't do anything to fix it!" The redhead set his mug down on the table and stood, pacing in frustration again.

"Maybe Hitsugaya-taicho changed his mind. Wants to get out before someone gets hurt?" Shuhei suggested.

"If that's the case then the least he could do is actually say that to my face. But I don't think he's the kind of person that would avoid the issue like this unless something was seriously wrong." The redhead crossed to the sofa again and sat. "That's what's worrying me. If he just decided that he didn't want to get involved after all, I think he'd be the kind of person to actually talk to me about it. However if he was so drunk that he didn't even remember the kiss then he wouldn't be avoiding me like he is. Then there's Matsumoto's behaviour, she's acting as if there's this big huge elephant in the room and doesn't want to discuss it." Renji sighed heavily.

"I just don't know what to do. If I push him, I might just push him away. But if I leave it, I take the risk of the whole thing just blowing over and returning to the way it was. I don't want that. I want to move forward with him." The redhead groaned and flopped backwards resting his head on the back of the seat.

"It sounds like you've already decided what to do." Shuhei said and Renji raised his head, eyebrow raised in question. "Well if all you want to do is move forward with him, you'll have to go confront him. That's the only way anything is going to move forward, regardless of the fact it might push him away. That's all you can do." Shuhei elaborated.

Renji groaned and dropped his head back to its previous position. "Yeah I know. It's just scary how much I want this to work. I don't know what I'll do if he actually says he doesn't want to go any further." He said to the ceiling.

Shuhei smiled sadly. "You do what other people who have been rejected do. You continue to live, work, and eventually play again." He sighed sipping his tea as Renji grunted morosely.

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><p>Matsumoto sighed from her position flopped on the couch in his office as he concentrated on paperwork. She sighed again, more loudly this time. Toshiro rolled his eyes. "What is it Matsumoto." He said head bent, continuing to fill out his report.<p>

"I've been avoiding Renji lately." She stated unhappily. His pen paused as his hand twitched at the redhead's name.

"Why would you do that?" He asked reluctantly as he resumed his writing.

"I don't know what to say to him. He's been wanting to talk to me about you, but it's not my place to answer his questions." She said staring up at the ceiling from her prone position her legs crossed at the knee one foot swinging slightly, her arms crossed behind her head.

He sighed giving up on his work and putting his pen down, concentration lost.

"And you think I do know what to say?" He said frustrated, leaning back in his chair.

"How about the truth?" Matsumoto asked sitting up and looking at her taicho over the top of the sofa.

Toshiro flinched. "No." He stated firmly getting up out of his chair and turned to stare out of the windows behind his desk.

"Why not?" Matsumoto asked staring at his back.

"Because I've kept that part of myself hidden for a reason. I don't want anyone to know about it. I wouldn't have told you but for the fact that if I hadn't given you a proper reason for my behaviour that night you would have imagined the worst and blamed Renji. Even Hinamori doesn't know, my grandmother kept it from her." He gritted his teeth arms folded.

"But it's not _'a part of yourself'_. It's something that was done to you. You have nothing to be ashamed about. That animal is the one that should be ashamed; I hope he came back as a slug." She said fiercely.

She sighed and pursed her lips as her taicho remained silent, back still turned towards her. "It's true taicho. You can't help what he did to you. But you can help how it affects you _now_. If you told Renji he could help you work though this. He's a really great guy and I think you two would be good for each other. He really cares about you and if I am not mistaken you care about him as well. Don't let that bastard take away your chance at happiness." Matsumoto urged silently willing Toshiro to believe her.

Toshiro sighed, his shoulders relaxing from their previously tense state. He turned his head slightly to the side. "I'll think about it." He promised, turning his head and shoulders so he could glance at her. "I will." He added and Matsumoto grinned at him flopping back down onto the couch.

"Good, I haven't been drinking in three weeks, I swear I'm having withdrawals." The blue eyed fukutaicho chuckled as Toshiro snorted in disgust. "Tch."

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><p><strong>AN:<strong> So there ya'll go. Some Matsumoto and Shuhei giving advice to the wayward lads.

Ciao till next time! =^.^=


	8. Chapter 8 Confrontations

**AN:** Yatta! I gots more reviews! Thanks to those who review for me. It really is good to know people are enjoying my story. LOL and I figured out how to know when someone fav's or tags the story! Look at my damn email! Jeez I'm such a douche sometimes.

**Disclaimer:** *grrr* I don't own Bleach. Tch.

**WARNING:** No explicit material in this chappie. Just sweetness and fluffy bunnies. Hehe. Enjoy!

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><p><strong>Chapter 8 - Confrontations<strong>

Toshiro frowned at the stack of reports on his desk and sighed. It seemed like they were never-ending. Matsumoto was out on a mission in lower west Rukongai chasing a hollow that was causing a bit of mischief. The white haired taicho leaned back in his chair twirling the pen in his hand around his slender fingers as he swivelled the chair around to look out his window. He still hadn't decided what to do about Renji.

On the one hand deep down he longed to be loved and love in return. But on the other he thought that he was fine as he was. Maybe being in a relationship was just too difficult and not worth the struggle and constant turmoil he was feeling. He wasn't even in the bloody relationship yet and already it was almost too much to handle. He sighed dropping the pen on his desk and stood opening the window and leaning against the window sill, arms crossed enjoying the slight breeze.

Then again what was he going to do? Just not have a relationship for the rest of his life? Toshiro frowned pressing his lips together. He didn't even know if the kiss really meant anything to the redhead. The whole night was kinda a blur; the only thing that was crystal clear about it was the scorching kiss and then his meltdown when he got back to the barracks. He sighed his eyes unfocused as the thoughts ran around and around in his head.

Suddenly the door to his office crashed open making the slender taicho spin to face the commotion in surprise. In the doorway stood the man that was the cause of his unrest, he was panting and scowling, a couple of Toshiro's subordinates hanging off his muscled body. Toshiro raised a thin white brow at the sight and blinked his hand dropping from the hilt of Hyorinmaru that he had grabbed automatically from the shelf behind his desk.

"What is going on here?" Hitsugaya-taicho demanded of his subordinates gesturing impatiently for them to let go of the redhead and stand up as he set his zanpakuto back on its rack.

"Gomenasai Hitsugaya-taicho, but he wouldn't state his business and the he proceeded to barge through without explanation." One of the squad members said as he climbed to his feet and brushed himself off while glaring at the glowering fukutaicho.

Toshiro sighed and shook his head wearily. "It's fine. If Abarai-fukutaicho wants to come see me without explanation in future, let him through." He told his subordinates dismissing them with a wave of his hand. Reluctantly and with a final dark look shot at the redhead the three squad members left pointedly leaving the office door open.

Renji growled and slammed the door shut huffing. He glanced at Toshiro then grimaced.

"Sorry. I've been wanting to come here for three weeks, then for the past week I was sent on a mission that I couldn't get out of and then when I finally got here they wouldn't let me through." The redhead explained. "I got frustrated." He added as a sort of apology slash reason.

Toshiro hmmed and sat down in the chair behind his desk trying to hide his nervousness and also wanting the desk between them. Not because he was afraid of what the redhead might do, but because he was afraid of what he himself might do.

All those weeks of avoiding him and only seeing a glimpse of the redhead had almost made him forget how he felt when in Renji's presence.

It was insane. All of a sudden he felt tense muscles that he hadn't even known were knotted up melt into relaxation, he felt relieved, pleased and energized all at the same time. Toshiro's hand curled into a fist on the arm of the chair hidden behind the desk.

"Is that all I get? A grunt? I've been hanging on the edge of reason for four weeks. You can't tell me that you don't remember that kiss. It's been all I can think about since it happened and you've been avoiding me." The redhead blurted then winced. He hadn't meant to jump down the younger man's throat. He had meant to act calmly and ask the taicho about the kiss not spew out accusations.

Renji sighed and dropped down into one of the chairs in front of the desk. "Sorry. I guess that's been building up for a while." Renji said slumping further down in the chair his knees spread rubbing the back of his neck in embarrassment.

Toshiro eyes had widened in surprise at the redheads blurted outburst then blinked as the redhead apologised. He supposed that answered one question. Renji did think about the kiss, and had wanted to see him.

"No, it's alright." The younger man said shaking his head and looking down at the surface of his desk blindly. He couldn't think of what else to say, words frozen in his throat.

Renji studied Toshiro for a minute then looked away. "What happened that night? Did I mistake your attraction to me? Did you not like the kiss?" He asked quietly staring at the bookshelf that was standing against the wall on the right side of the desk. He unconsciously held his breath waiting for an answer.

Toshiro's head rose sharply his turquoise eyes finding the redhead frowning, his eyes not meeting his own. "No! It's wasn't like that. I do like you. I just…" He trailed off not knowing what else to say.

He clenched his hands tighter. He had unconsciously made a decision. That had been the perfect opportunity to tell Renji that he wasn't attracted to him. That he didn't like the kiss. Or that he wasn't gay. Something, anything to stop the situation before it started. But his mouth had run off without him. He sighed.

"It was just a bit sudden. I wasn't expecting something that… intense." Toshiro continued shifting uncomfortably in his chair. It was the truth, just not the whole truth.

Renji had slowly let out the breath he had been holding at Toshiro's first confession and grinned at the second.

"Right! Then let's go out on a date! Don't worry about anything I will come pick you up… when's the next rest day? Oh yeah it's tomorrow! I'll come at 10 am, wear something comfortable." Renji said bursting out of his chair and rushing towards the door. Before Toshiro knew what hit him Renji had gone shutting the door behind him leaving a stunned taicho to stare at the door with wide eyes, mouth open mid word.

"Huh?" Toshiro blinked in confusion. A date?

"Hnn." A date. Toshiro groaned. His head hit the desk then lifted and dropped again with a dull thud. He hadn't even told Renji about the real cause of his disappearing act. He knew he would have to eventually.

But for now. Toshiro smiled his head resting on the desk. He had a date.

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><p>It was the morning of his date with Hitsugaya-taicho and Renji was a little nervous. He didn't need to plan what they were going to do today as he had been thinking about it for weeks beforehand. He had tried not to as he had not wanted to get his hopes up, but it was futile. At odd moments he had paused in the middle of something he was doing realizing he was daydreaming about it.<p>

The only thing he needed to do was set it all up. He hadn't asked anyone for help as he didn't want everyone nosing into their business. It was just going to be him and Toshiro alone, together, all day. Renji paused in the middle of pushing his bandanna into place and grinned. Today was going to be epic.

He slipped into his black skate shoes with white soles and glanced into the mirror. He was wearing dark brown wide leg cargo pants slung low around his waist, a studded black leather belt with brass skull and crossbones buckle cinched tight enough around his hips that the waist of the pants sat at his hips not under them.

The black shirt that he was wearing was sleeveless showing off his muscled arms a white patterned print on the front of an inverted skull with designs surrounding it. Over the shirt he wore a black canvas type vest with brass buckles and zippers acting as embellishments and his usual white bandanna was replaced with a dark brown one that almost matched his cargo pants. He nodded at his reflection, he was ready.

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><p>Toshiro groaned at his reflection. '<em>What the hell did he mean wear something comfortable?"<em> He sighed and frowned. He assumed that it meant he shouldn't wear his shinigami uniform. Besides he wore that all the time and he wanted to wear something different. But this was the third outfit he had tried on. He rolled his eyes. '_Jeez I feel like a teenage girl.'_

He stuck his hands on his hips and shook his head. '_This will have to do.'_ He decided giving up. He probably wouldn't have been satisfied with any outfit he ended up choosing and it was getting close to the time Renji said he would 'pick him up.'

He was wearing dark blue jeans with ragged rips in the front of the thighs, a silver chain looping from his front belt loop to the back, a black belt with silver studs, black skate shoes, a white long sleeve shirt with a black pattern on the front and down each arm on the outside of the sleeves and a black sleeveless vest jacket with white edging and silver studs and zipper.

He made his way out to the front of the barracks and leaned against the dojo's wall hands shoved in his jean pockets one foot resting flat against the wall. He had been there for about ten minutes and had just looked away from the entrance when he heard a strangled sound coming from that direction.

He turned his head and saw Renji who was frozen in the entrance to the 10th division. The redhead was staring at him as Toshiro dropped his foot back to the floor and stood up from leaning against the wall.

"What? Did I wear something wrong?" Toshiro said looking down at himself his hands still shoved in his pockets.

"No!" Renji's voice sounded funny he cleared his throat and tried again. "No, you look…" '_Hot, sexy, fucking mind-blowingly fantastic.'_ Renji's mind supplied. "…great!" he finished as normally as he could, finally stepping through the entrance to the barracks. Toshiro smiled.

"You look pretty good yourself." He said then flushed a little, embarrassed.

Renji let out a relieved breath, thankful Toshiro hadn't taken his hesitation the wrong way. He grabbed the taicho's hand out of his pocket then pulled him outside.

"Thanks. Let's go, I've got things planned for today!" Renji said happily grinning at the smaller man as Toshiro blushed harder at the feeling of the redhead's hand grasping his as they moved down the street.

Toshiro looked at the redhead as Renji walked slightly ahead of him. '_I wonder what he has planned.'_

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><p><strong>AN: <strong>Nnnnnghhh soooo tired…. Its like 4:30am here. But I knew that you're all waiting for me to update, so I persevered. I hope the story isn't going to slow for ya. I kinda get the feeling that maybe it is… hmmm. Gotta think on that one. I had planned to put a link to a pic of what the boy's were wearing, but in my brain mushed state I couldn't figure it out. So ya'll just havta imagine.

Till next time sweets! =^.^=


	9. Chapter 9  Visiting

**AN:** Hi ya'll here ya go all nice and early… ish. Enjoy!

**Disclaimer:** Don't own Bleach. Bah humbug.

**Warning: **This story has lots of crazy freaked up stuff. This chappie however, does not so, no worries. Oh apart from the boyxboy relationship. Nawww cute!

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><p><strong>Chapter 9 - Visiting<strong>

Renji and Toshiro had left the gates of Seireitei a few minutes ago and were making their way through the streets of eastern Rukongai. Renji had told him that he had to take care of something before their date officially started and was carrying a small pouch of something.

"I try to come here after a mission in the Human World. Sometimes I don't get to come as often as I would like but I try to make the time whenever I can." Renji explained sheepishly.

They stopped at a large ramshackle house with a front courtyard that was mostly dirt with a few patches of grass here and there. A couple of small boys were playing in the courtyard with a well worn soccer ball. Toshiro blinked wondering where the human sport's gear had come from.

One of the boys noticed the pair as they stepped through the open gate. "Renji-niisan! Renji-niisan is here!" The boy yelled at the house excitedly then sprinted toward them. Renji laughed and bent down lifting the squealing boy up and over his shoulder the boy's head hanging down over his back. The other boys were not far behind as they jumped and yelled all talking excitedly around the grinning redhead as a few more children burst out of the house and latched onto the man.

Toshiro was smiling as he watched the children's antics but he was more focused on Renji. He was surprised that the redhead obviously visited this place regularly. Toshiro himself did a few things for the community where he grew up, but it was more impersonal things like sending supplies and food to the people. He didn't usually personally go down to the places he helped. The only one he usually visited was his grandmother.

Renji put the young boy he was carrying on his shoulder back on the ground and grinned up at the older woman who had followed the rambunctious children out of the house and was now standing on the porch. "Abarai-kun it's good to see you again." The older women said with a smile. "The children were just asking when your next visit would be." She added as the redhead waddled his way to the stairs, some of the kids attached to his legs and arms. "Children let the poor man go." She laughed as Renji staggered again.

Renji handed the small pouch to one of the boys who was obviously the oldest. "Here I brought this from the Human World for all you guys." He said as the kids reluctantly detached themselves from his body. "Make sure everyone gets one. Then give the rest to ba-chan for later." The children cheered and gathered around the boy as he carefully opened the pouch revealing hard peppermint sweets. The children gasped and chattered excitedly.

"What do you say children?" The woman said smiling fondly.

"Thank you Renji-niisan!" The children chorused.

Renji, finally free of his temporary extras moved up the stairs and hugged the woman. "How has everyone been?" He asked leaning back and smiling at the woman.

"Come in and I will tell you." She said smiling at the redhead then casting a curious look at Toshiro who was standing at the bottom of the stairs watching the children in bemusement.

Renji took a step down and caught the white haired man's hand urging him up the stairs. "Hitsugaya-taicho this is Suzuki Himiko, Himiko-san has been bringing orphans into her home for years. Himiko-san this is Hitsugaya Toshiro, we're going on a date today." Renji said grinning cheekily as he slung his arm over the man's shoulders pulling him against his body.

Toshiro bowed from Renji's embrace flushing brilliantly at his last sentence. "It's nice to meet you Suzuki-san." Was all Toshiro could manage.

"Please Hitsugaya-taicho call me Himiko. Any friend of Abarai-kun is most welcome here." Himiko said with a smile then gestured them to follow her as she moved inside.

Renji snorted as the followed the woman into the house. "She insists on me calling her Himiko-san but refuses to call me by my first name. Keeps calling me Abarai." He complained good naturedly as he ducked in through the doorway after Toshiro.

"It's only proper Abarai-kun. After all, you are a fukutaicho now. You have come so far, you deserve the respect." Himiko stated gesturing them to the well worn but comfortable sofas in the lounge.

"Would either of you like something to drink?" She asked.

"Tea would be great Himiko-san." Renji said and Toshiro nodded. Renji knew she didn't have any of his usual coffee, it would be shocking if she did considering the stuff was pretty expensive. Renji stretched out his legs crossed at the ankles under the coffee table and his arm along the back of the sofa as Toshiro sat next to him. There was only one other seat and it was a single chair rather than a two seater like the one he and Renji were in. The white haired taicho sat upright away from the back of the seat as they waited for Himiko to get the tea.

"Why did you tell her we were on a date?" Toshiro asked quietly turning slightly so he could look at the redhead.

Renji shrugged. "Because it was the truth?" He responded honestly. "Besides she would have asked anyway, it's not like I bring a lot of people here." He said his eyes leaving Toshiro and shifting to just behind him. Renji smiled. "Hey, what's your name?" He said to someone behind Toshiro.

Toshiro looked behind him and saw a small girl hiding behind the door jam to the room. The only thing visible was an arm and half a face as she peered at them around the wood with a big blue eye. She blinked as he turned and suddenly disappeared.

"It's okay we don't bite." Renji said towards the now empty doorway. "Not little girls anyway." He added under his breath sending a sideways glance towards the man next to him. "We're friends of Himiko-san." He said normally returning his gaze to the doorway and leaning forward elbows on knees as Toshiro sent him a startled look. Renji grinned, his date had good hearing.

The girl returned to standing in the doorway her thumb in her mouth and a beaten up ragdoll in the other arm. Her big blue eyes were fixed on Toshiro.

"Looks like you have a fan." Renji said in amusement as the girl continued to stare. Toshiro smiled hesitantly at the young girl as Himiko returned. Renji leaned back on the sofa returning to his previous position as she poured the tea. "Looks like you found another one." Renji said gesturing with his chin at the girl still standing in the doorway to the hall.

Himiko smiled sadly. "Yes, she came to us about two weeks ago now. She hasn't spoken since she arrived. She's a good girl though. We think she's about five." She said to Renji as she handed the men their cups.

"How many children live here?" Toshiro asked as he sipped his tea looking back at Himiko.

"Oh, we have 8 here permanently. Others come and go." She said has he became aware of the little girl sidling towards his side of the sofa. He ignored the girl until she was standing right beside his crossed knees then he looked down at her curiously. She looked up at him seriously her head tilted forward, and then suddenly she took her thumb out of her mouth and clambered up into his lap. He uncrossed his legs and quickly sat back moving his cup of tea out of the way as his lap was suddenly filled with the girl. Renji laughed as he took the cup from Toshiro's hand and leaned forward setting it down on the table.

"Kids always know the good ones." The redhead smiled sitting back as the white haired taicho awkwardly wrapped a hand around the girls back as she settled down sitting sideways on his lap thumb back in her mouth, her head on Toshiro's chest. She stared at Renji now her big blue eyes wary still clutching the rag doll. Toshiro looked down at the curly blond hair bemusedly. He hadn't had much contact with kids.

Himiko looked surprised and then smiled, relieved. "She hasn't treated anyone like that. To be honest I was getting a bit worried about her. She doesn't play with any of the other kids and she doesn't usually like to be touched. I'm glad she's showing some affection for others. It's a good sign." The older woman sipped her tea smiling at Toshiro.

"It's a good sign for you too." She said to Toshiro who looked at her questioningly relaxing a bit as the girl snuggled closer to him. "I'm glad Abarai-kun has found someone worthy of him. I was beginning to wonder." She said. "You must be special, he doesn't show this side of himself to just anyone you know." She smiled teasingly as Renji groaned.

"You don't need to tell him all of my secrets you know." The redhead complained.

The two began discussing the other children Toshiro listening and asking a question or two every now and then. He was impressed with the work the woman was doing, taking in orphans, giving them a home and someplace safe to come to. He was equally impressed with what Renji did for the place. Himiko told him that Renji donated a portion of his wage as a shinigami and brought things for the kids whenever he could. The soccer ball and sweets were just two examples.

Renji had flushed at the praise and changed the subject. Partway into the discussion Renji had started to play with the hair at the nape of Toshiro's neck and then rubbing the area with his thumb in a small massage his big hand curved around his shoulder, the actions had sent shivers down the turquoise eyed man's spine. Toshiro didn't even know if the man realised what he was doing as he hadn't paused in his conversation with Himiko at all. The touch had warmed him and he found himself leaning against the redhead's side without knowing when he had shifted.

Suddenly some of the kids had tumbled into the room and started to beg Renji to play with them outside. Renji smiled apologetically at the boys.

"Sorry guys, I have a busy day today. I promise next time I come I will play whatever you want." Renji apologised as he removed his arm from around Toshiro and stood. The boys all groaned and began to whine.

"Now, now, boys. If you continue to whine like that there will be no more sweets for you." The woman said sternly and the boys all immediately stopped. Toshiro smiled, they all seemed pretty attached to Renji. As the redhead apologised and began to say his farewells, Toshiro began to wonder what to do with his armful of the now soundly sleeping little girl.

Himiko came to him and smiled. "She's a dear isn't she? I'll take her." She said. He stood carefully sliding his arms around the girl and gently handed her to the older woman.

"Yes she is. She's a sweetie." He said his arms suddenly feeling empty.

"It was lovely meeting you Hitsugaya-taicho." She said softly, adjusting the bundle in her arms. "Please feel free to come and visit any time you like." She added seeing them out to the door and Toshiro nodded. "You two have a lovely afternoon now." Himiko said as they left. Renji waved as they exited out the gate and the children waved back calling out goodbyes.

"Wow, Himiko-san is a wonderful lady." Toshiro said walking beside Renji hands in his pockets.

"Hmm that she is. We met when I was younger. I was one of the boys that came to her house for a place to sleep or some food. It's the least I can do for her to visit every now and then." Renji said absently as he slid his arm around the younger mans shoulders, his hand hanging in front. Toshiro let him their sides bumping every now and then.

"And who knew! You're pretty good with children Hitsugaya-taicho." Renji said laughing at the flush that spread across his cheeks. "I don't know about that. She seemed to just want someone to cuddle with." He replied ducking his head sheepishly.

Renji laughed again. "I don't know about that, she kept sending me these little looks. I'm sure she was trying to warn me off. I think I was a little jealous." The redhead grinned down at the shorter man. Toshiro looked up at him wide eyed.

"Really? She was huh?" He said looking forward again with a small smile.

Renji snorted. "That's what you're pleased about? That the girl was warning me off, not that I was jealous." The redhead asked teasingly.

Toshiro smiled. "Well she was pretty cute." He shrugged.

Renji blinked then suddenly pulled the shorter man into a shadowed side street. "Somehow you just became sexier, just by you teasing me. I don't know how you do it." He muttered as he half sat half leaned on a stack of crates that made him a little shorter and pulled a startled Toshiro into a kiss.

Toshiro's eyes widened then slowly dropped closed as the man suddenly pulled him between his slightly spread legs and kissed him. He leaned his hands on the man's hard thighs and moaned into the kiss, his heart speeding up rapidly. Renji's hands were cradling Toshiro's head, threaded through his hair as he fervently kissed the man who had been tormenting him for weeks. Renji slowly coaxed the white haired man's lips open and his velvet tongue delved between those petal soft lips. He groaned.

Finally! Finally he got to taste that unique taste that he tasted that night four weeks ago. Renji's heart skipped a beat as the taste burst across his tongue. Slowly and reluctantly he backed away from the kiss, his breathing heavy.

"I've wanted to do that ever since that night." Renji said staring into those brilliant and now dazed turquoise eyes, his hands still either side of the smaller man's head. Renji leaned his forehead against the smaller man's and smiled. "It was as scorching hot as I remember. I was beginning to think it was my imagination." He added as Toshiro blinked.

"Yeah." Toshiro breathed still a bit dazed. "Scorching." He said raising his fingers to his lips absently.

Renji smirked and stood releasing the man's head and grabbing his hand. "Come on we have a date to get to." Renji said pulling Toshiro along.

Toshiro smiled at Renji's back. Well at least now he knew he could kiss without flipping out. Maybe he didn't need to tell Renji about his past straight away. Maybe he could wait for a while. Find the right time rather than rushing it.

All Toshiro knew right now was that they were going on a date and he didn't want to ruin it. He could at least have the memory of one fantastic date before he broke it to Renji. It couldn't hurt this one time. Could it?

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><p><strong>AN:<strong> Don't worry the date really is in the next chapter. Ya'll will see what Renji has in store for Toshiro. This scene with the orphanage just kinda popped into my head. The date was going to be this chapter but meh. The cute lil girl with curly blond hair needed to be written.

Till next time sweeties! =^.^=


	10. Chapter 10  Confessions

**AN**: Another chappie! All hail ME! Yay chapter 10. Whew!

**Disclaimer**: NO! I still don't own Bleach.

**WARNING**: A smidge of boyxboy lovin and some angst. Have at it!

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><p><strong>Chapter 10 - Confessions<strong>

Renji had led Toshiro out of Rukongai and to the edge of the forest that stretched out south of the district. He had picked up a large sack that he said he had dropped there earlier then turned back to him.

Renji grinned. "You are gonna love this. Follow me." He said and started moving through the trees using shunpo. Toshiro followed him, keeping up easily.

After a while Toshiro started to wonder where the redhead was leading him. He shrugged. It was Renji's idea and Toshiro trusted him. He stumbled a bit, but caught himself and returned to following the redhead. 'It's true.' He realised eyes on the man's back. 'I do trust him.' He didn't trust many people and it seemed that Renji made the shortlist.

Suddenly Renji stopped pausing on a thick tree branch then dropped down to the ground Toshiro stopping just behind him as the redhead turned grinning. Toshiro could hear a muted rumbling sound coming from somewhere.

"Okay we're here. Close your eyes." Renji said as Toshiro looked at him doubtfully. "Trust me. It'll be worth it." Renji said smiling down at him.

Toshiro sighed and cast one last suspicious look at the man then closed his eyes. He felt a slight breeze in front of his face as if Renji was waving his hand in front of him, then his hands were grabbed and he was led forward.

The moved slowly Renji guiding him carefully around fallen branches and bush. Suddenly Toshiro saw bright light behind his eyelids and he felt the warmth of the sun. Obviously they had come out from under the trees and were in a clearing of some kind. Also the rumbling noise was louder.

"Don't open them until I tell you." Renji said positioning Toshiro with his hands on his shoulders then leaving him there. "Just a couple more seconds." He added as Toshiro heard Renji rustling around.

Toshiro breathed in a long breath through his nose. He could smell water. Not sea water there was no tang of salt, but the smell of clean fresh water. He was standing with his hands on his hips trying to figure out where he was without opening his eyes. It was getting more and more difficult by the passing second.

"Okay. You can open your eyes now." Renji's voice came from the left and a bit in front of him.

Toshiro's brilliant turquoise eyes blinked open without reaction for a second as his eyes refocused and adjusted to the bright sunlight. Then they widened in surprised wonder.

They were beside a large naturally formed pool with a huge waterfall down to the right a bit further, the sound he had heard earlier now making sense. There was a wide river linking the waterfall to the calm water hole then continuing on at a right angle to it. The small clearing they were in had short grass right up to where sand had gathered at the edge of the pool with clumps of wildflowers springing up here and there all over the small clearing. The other side of the pool of water was solid forest with a brush of green covered in small purple, white and pink flowers.

Toshiro took a couple of steps forward his widened eyes dropping down to the large blanket that was resting a few feet away from the edge of the grass. Set on top of the blanket was a picnic basket and Renji was standing to the side watching smiling nervously.

"I… wow, this place is… wow." Was all Toshiro could think of to say and looked up at Renji as the redhead stepped up close to him and put his hands on the younger mans hips.

"I'm glad you like it." He said smiling more naturally now and dipped his head down to steal a soft kiss then backed away, Toshiro's hand in his.

Toshiro let out a breath wondering at the effect the taller man had on him as he was led to sit on the soft blanket. He slipped off his shoes and sat cross-legged looking around him in awe.

"How did you find this place?" He asked as the redhead dropped down beside him long legs stretched out.

Renji smiled and paused to look around. "I like to explore when I get the time and one day I just stumbled across it. One of my better finds I must say. No-one else knows about it to my knowledge." He said looking back at the white-blonde.

Toshiro looked at him in surprise. "You've never brought anyone else out here?" He asked in wonderment as Renji smiled, chocolate eyes heated.

"Nope, only you." He said as Toshiro blushed at the gaze. "This is my secret spot. I come out here when life gets too much. Reminds me of the beauty in life." He relented, removing his gaze.

Toshiro to his embarrassment felt pleased that Renji hadn't brought anyone else out here. The redhead was known to be a bit of a 'ladies man' and even a 'guy's man'. Even Toshiro had heard some of the stories. He realised that he wanted to be different from all those other people that Renji had gone out with, therefore was pleased to hear that he hadn't brought anyone else out here.

He studied the redhead as the man leaned back on his hands and turned his face up to the sun. He was talking about something to do with other places he had found, but Toshiro wasn't listening. He swallowed nervously not quite believing he was seriously considering doing what he was about to.

He nervously licked his lips and leaned forward glad the redhead had his eyes closed at that moment. He leaned one hand on the blanket next to the other man's hip and hesitantly placed his lips against Renji's, eyes tightly closed.

Renji's words died in his throat as his dark chocolate eyes flew open in surprise. His eyelids lowered slightly and he groaned as he shifted his weight to just one arm, the other coming round to thread through the silky white hair of the man who was seriously testing his self control. This was the first time the turquoise eyed man had initiated a kiss and Renji was loving it.

Slowly Renji lowered himself so he was flat on his back, allowing his other hand to come around and rest on the lithe mans hip their lips never loosing contact. Toshiro parted his lips slightly leaning over the bigger man his chest lowering until Toshiro was half sprawled over Renji. Renji took the invitation and plunged his tongue into the smaller man's heated mouth, Toshiro's taste overwhelming his senses.

Toshiro whimpered and pressed closer his tongue hesitantly emerging to caress the other mans. Renji groaned at the contact and pulled the man closer one arm wrapped under and around Toshiro's waist the other buried in the silky white strands as he guided the heated kiss.

Renji's hand travelled up and down Toshiro's back lightly as the kiss gentled. He slipped his hand under the shirt Toshiro was wearing and marvelled at the smooth skin that his hand met as the younger man arched and broke the kiss with a moan panting. Renji looked at Toshiro with heavy lidded eyes as the man opened glazed turquoise ones. He growled under his breath at the exquisite sight Toshiro made. He was driving Renji insane. Renji removed his hand from Toshiro's hair and lifted the man easily, pulling him up his chest until Toshiro's legs automatically straddled the redhead's hips.

Renji's abs clenched as he sat up not wanting to remove his hands and bent his head laving his way to the man's slender neck where he concentrated on the sweet spot where Toshiro's neck met his shoulder softly biting and licking.

Toshiro had gasped when Renji had moved, his arms automatically looping around Renji's shoulders when the man sat up. Then his head dropped back, a moan leaving his mouth as the redhead started doing something to his neck. Toshiro was on fire. Small sounds leaving his mouth as Renji's hands and mouth caressed him. Both of Renji's hands were under his shirt now, the calloused skin worshiping every inch of his upper torso. When Renji came to the small hard nipples his thumbs brushed across them making the man on his lap writhe against him crying out huskily.

Renji shuddered at the sound and suddenly whipped the long sleeved shirt along with the vest off of Toshiro and groaned pressing the lithe man's body close to his, kissing the man on his lap fiercely.

"God you are so un-fucking-believably gorgeous right now." The redhead rumbled his lips making their way down the slender mans chest his arms firmly wrapped around Toshrio as his lips softly came into contact with a hard nipple and his tongue came out to flick it. Toshiro's breathing hitched at the contact and he gasped his slender hands coming up to cradle Renji's head close as the man licked, sucked and lightly bit his nipples, switching between them as if he couldn't get enough. The electric sensations that shot through his body were almost overwhelming. His nipples had never been this sensitive before…his skin had never been this sensitive before. It was delightfully arousing.

Renji let go of Toshiro, leaning back and stripping off his sleeveless vest and shirt. Both men groaned as skin met skin as Renji's arms curled back around the supple young man, hands flat against his back. Toshiro's hands made contact with smooth honey tanned skin of Renji's broad tattooed shoulders and back. Their lips met again in a hungry, passionate tongue swirling embrace, heat flooding through both their bodies.

Suddenly Renji rolled them over so Toshiro was lying on his back with Renji pressed against him, Toshiro's legs either side of the man's waist as Renji pressed their hips together grinding their material clad erections against one another.

Toshiro froze. The position making the memories and feelings from that painful time in his life come flooding in. Suddenly he was pushing at the redhead's shoulders, brilliant turquoise eyes wide and blank, not seeing Renji's concerned face as he rose up from the younger man's neck but instead seeing the lust filled, leering, crazy eyes of the other man in his minds eye. He frantically scrambled out from under Renji as the concerned man let him go backing off.

"Toshiro?" Renji said eyes wide at the obvious panic the young man was in. "Toshiro what's wrong?" Renji said growing even more concerned as the white haired man stood panting a couple of feet away hand out toward the redhead as if warding off a blow, eyes unseeing. Toshiro took a deep breath and turned away struggling to come back to the present.

"Toshiro, please answer me." Renji said standing and struggled not to move toward the obviously terrified young man.

"I'm sorry." Toshiro said turning back toward him eyes now focused. "I guess I got a bit overwhelmed for a second there." He said finally getting his panic under control and sending a weak smile towards Renji.

Renji relaxed a bit when the man started talking then tensed again at the man's words. He frowned. "That wasn't just being overwhelmed Toshiro. You were frantic." He said seriously shaking his head. "What happened?" He asked starting to move towards the young man.

Toshiro unconsciously backed away a step as Renji approached and the redhead stopped in his tracks. Staring grimly at Toshiro he sighed then turned and bent down picking up his black sleeveless top and Toshiro's white long sleeved shirt. He tossed the shirt to Toshiro and put on his own then sat on the blanket.

Renji stared calmly at Toshiro, waiting until he put on the shirt then gestured for him to join him on the blanket. "Tell me Toshiro. What happened? And does it have anything to do with why you ran away from me that first time?" He guessed correctly as Toshiro dropped down on the blanket and sighed.

Toshiro couldn't meet Renji's eyes instead he fiddled with a rip in the blanket his eyes focused on his fingers. He sighed. "Yes it does have something to do with that night." He admitted swallowing. This was it. This was the moment he had to tell Renji. There was no way he could explain his reaction in any other way. His heart started to beat fiercely, he just wanted one date. One date to remember. Renji wouldn't want to be with him after. No matter what Matsumoto said, he was sure about it. Toshiro clenched his teeth then his body slumped defeated.

Renji studied the usually calm and composed taicho who was now looking beaten and unsure. He clenched his teeth. He didn't like the way this was affecting the younger man whatever it was.

"It happened when I was still living in Rukongai, a few years before I started at the Shino Academy." Toshiro began reluctantly, staring at his hands. Renji was silent, letting him continue at his own pace. "One day I was walking home from getting some food from the market for baa-chan when this man…" His throat closed and he swallowed clearing his throat as he continued. "This man grabbed me and took me to a place just outside the edge of the town. It was this old one room shack. The roof leaked and there was a single bed with a dirty mattress that didn't fit the frame of the bed." Toshiro watched his hands clench frowning. "He had me for 9 days they said." He shook his head. "I wasn't able to count the days, I was in and out of consciousness the whole time. When they found me they said that I was covered in blood and…" He choked. "…and other things, and that my injuries were consistent with repeated rape…" Toshiro's voice failed on the last word. He took a deep breath then continued. "...from multiple perpetrators. When I came around after they had treated me I told them that I didn't remember anything." He said inhaling a ragged breath.

"But you do now." Renji said softly, trembling with rage but trying not to show it.

Toshiro shook his head and smiled sadly. "No. I've always remembered." He glanced up not quite reaching Renji's eyes. "I've always remembered everything." He elaborated looking away and staring at the waterfall his shoulders slumped. "I tried burying the memories after I entered the academy. I thought I had buried them far enough down that I wouldn't ever remember again." He sighed looking back down at his hands. "But I guess I was wrong."

"I'll kill him. I'll hunt them down every last one of them rip their faces off and make them eat it!" Renji couldn't contain his anger any longer and burst up from his seated position and started to pace angrily.

Toshiro started as the redhead jumped up then watched him pace with wide turquoise eyes.

"You… you don't think I'm disgusting?" Toshiro's voice wavered and his eyes widened even further. He hadn't meant to say that. He clenched his hands staring down at them furiously.

Renji had frozen mid pace and turned to look at the hunched up man with wide eyes. He made a strangled sound deep in his throat and dropped down on his knees in front of him. The redhead gently cupped Toshiro's face in his palms and turned his face up to him so he could see his eyes.

"You are the kindest, most hardworking, loyal, strongest man I know. My desire for you hasn't changed since the day we kissed. You are still the hottest, sexiest guy around. You are anything but disgusting." Renji said intensely willing the young man to believe him.

He swallowed as the wide startled turquoise eyes rapidly blinked in surprise. Toshiro smiled a little and Renji let out a breath of relief sliding his hands up Toshiro's face and bent touching his lips to the smaller mans gently. It was the most heartfelt sweetest kiss he had ever experienced. Then it turned hot as Toshiro licked Renji's bottom lip. After a while Renji groaned and broke the kiss breathing heavily his forehead resting against Toshiro's.

"God what you do to me." Renji moaned eyes closed.

Toshiro chuckled faintly then pushed the man off him. "Enough of the sappy sad stuff. I'm hungry, feed me." He said with fake bravado inhaling a deep breath and letting it out unsteadily as Renji snorted.

"Yes taicho." Renji said opening the picnic basket and taking out the food. "I conspired with Matsumoto and I got all your favourite foods." He said laying it all out.

"You really came prepared huh?" Toshiro said hands still shaking. He watched Renji set out the food. He hadn't told him about what happened when he killed the guy. He pressed his lips together. One step at a time yeah? Toshiro smiled at Renji. "This is great. Itadakimasu." He said then dug in regardless of what his stomach was feeling.

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><p><strong>AN<strong>: Yeah I know, I know, Toshiro is really OOC in this. *sigh* I try I really do but when I try and think of what the man would do when faced with these problems he just reacts this way. Also I like to remind myself that we never really see Toshiro in a romantic setting… meh oh well.

Also I've been wondering whether to take the Shuhei and Kira chapter out... Its been bothering me ever since I posted. It just doesn't gel with the story. Hmmm havta think bout it some more.

Till next time! =^.^=

PS: Thank you for my reviews! They are so nice. insert maniacal laugh here and I get my fix.


	11. Chapter 11 At the River

**AN:** *cries* I'm so sorry for keeping you waiting for so long but life kinda caught up to me. My Birthday was a week before Christmas and then I realised Christmas had rapidly sneaked up on me! I kinda had a little panic attack as I hadn't done any Christmas shopping for presents! Whaaaaah! Then I went back home (my hometown) for the holidays to my parent's house and it was kinda awkward trying to write … *ahem* stuff while there… so I haven't done anything in so long! *bows* Sorry! *bows* So sorry! *bows*

_Renji_: Bloody hell. Stop bowing, they get it already.

_Me_: *blushes* Oh, yeah. Um well sorry, once again. I hope it doesn't happen again. Though I can't promise anything. I am back at uni now so… hmmm chapters probably won't be going up as fast as they were before.

_Toshiro_: Hnn.

_Renji_: What does that mean? She can't help it if she's busy.

_Toshiro_: I'm always busy but somehow I seem to get things done. *raises an eyebrow*

_Renji_: Oh get off her back. Not everyone is as genius-ey as you are.

_Toshiro_: Genius-ey? Is that even a word?

_Renji_: Tch. It is now.

_Me_: *ahem* Uh… yeah well here's the next chappie. *looks at the arguing pair nerviously.* I will leave you to it. *flees*

**Disclaimer:** I don't own anything…

**WARNING**: This story contains explicit sexyness and lemony goodness involving yummy hot guy on hot guy… hehehe. Once again nothing in this chappie though. *sigh* these two are becoming increasingly difficult to get together.

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><p><strong>Chapter 11 - At The River<strong>

Toshiro and Renji had finished eating while they talked about nothing and everything. They talked about what it had been like at the Shino Academy, their likes and dislikes, what they did on rest days and even ended up talking about the weather.

Eventually Toshiro had relaxed, involved in talking to the redhead about positive current events and situations rather than thinking about darker past events.

Toshiro had his eyes closed and was flat on his back with his arms folded behind his head as they spoke. Renji had sprawled out on his side his head leaning on his hand, elbow propped on the ground surreptitiously watching the white haired man's face. He was enjoying figuring out the younger man's expressions. They were subtle but Renji had been paying attention.

For example when Toshiro was disgusted his nose would wrinkle a bit, when he was amused the muscles around his eyes would relax and the corners of his lips would curl up slightly, annoyance was conveyed by the skin between his eyebrows furrowing faintly. Puzzlement or confusion was shown by a small pursing of the right side of his lips and the lowering of his eyebrows, surprise with a tiny twitch upwards of the left eyebrow and impatience or anger was an easy one. Toshiro just opened his eyes and glared.

Renji had laughed when Toshiro had glared at him. He was all ready to try and figure out the signal for that emotion but instead was given a whole expression. Then he was treated with a slight flare of Toshiro's nose. Renji guessed this was an indication of indignation as Toshiro then closed his eyes and very maturely sulked for the next few minutes.

Renji had grinned at the sulking taicho. Yep, indignation. He then turned and rustled around in the large backpack he had brought. Turning back he threw a pair of blue and white swim shorts at Toshiro's head trying to hold in a snort as the item was snatched out of the air before it hit its intended target. Said target sat up, the pair of swim shorts in his hand.

"There change into those, we're gunna go for a swim." Renji said.

Toshiro's eyebrow twitched and Renji laughed. "Yep I guessed your size." The redhead grinned as Toshiro unconsciously looked longingly at the cool looking water. "I know how you don't like the heat and the water down here is nice and cold. It comes from a spring further up in the hills." Renji said as he stripped his sleeveless shirt off.

Toshiro blushed at the sight of Renji's naked chest his eyes unconsciously tracing the black tribal tattoos that trailed over the honey skin. He swallowed looking away and abruptly stood as the redhead started unbuckling his belt.

"I'll just go over here." He said eyes averted as he moved towards the edge of the forest. He could feel the redheads amused stare on his back.

Renji chuckled as Toshiro disappeared into the edge of the forest. _'A shy Toshiro, who'd have figured.'_ He thought as he changed into his red and white swim shorts his clothes dumped on the picnic blanket. He moved to the edge of the water, it was quite warm today, even he was eager to cool down in the clear river. He climbed a small bank and dove into the deep cool water.

Toshiro emerged from the forest dressed in the blue and white swim shorts carrying his clothing. He placed his clothes neatly folded on the picnic blanket while looking around for Renji. A splash attracted his attention as Renji surfaced his vibrant red hair slicked to his head and down his back as water sluiced down his honey gold skin. Toshiro was transfixed, his eyes travelling over the man's wet skin, wide shoulders and muscled back. He remembered to breathe as Renji turned and caught Toshiro staring, turquoise eyes intense. Renji grinned.

"Come in, the water's great." He said as Toshiro stood from his crouched position by the blanket. Renji's heated chocolate eyes travelled over the white haired man's tanned skin and lean muscles as the man moved to the water's edge. He leaned back letting the cool silky water envelop his muscled body and watched as Toshiro entered with a slight smile. Renji knew Toshiro would enjoy the cool water in this little slice of paradise. He kicked slightly and tilted his head back, floating in the calm waters of the small bowl of the river. Renji wondered if Toshiro liked hot springs, maybe that was a date idea for the winter months. The redhead grinned closing his eyes, enjoying the relaxed moment, he had the perfect spot for it if Toshiro did enjoy a bit of heat.

Renji's mind wandered and he frowned as the dark thoughts of Toshiro's boyhood nightmare intruded, interrupting his relaxed state. Renji knew he had to tread carefully from now on. The thought of leaving the tormented young man because of what he had learned was abhorrent to him. If anything the knowledge made the redhead more determined to protect Toshiro, to learn more about the man and to help him work through the problems the memories caused. His feelings for Toshiro had grown, deepened. However the urge to find the assholes that had done that to Toshiro and punish them was growing, making Renji's skin itch and his teeth clench. He knew he probably wouldn't let them off easy, just killing them would be too quick. His thoughts wandered, thinking of the multiple ways to torture a person.

"What are you thinking about?" Toshiro's voice came from close beside him. Renji started surprised, his eyes opening and his head abruptly sinking under the water. He rocketed upright spluttering as he treaded water. He wiped water from his eyes and coughed.

"Sorry. I didn't realise you were so deep in thought." Toshiro said backing away slightly.

Renji coughed once more dropping his hand from his eyes and smiling over at the white haired man. "It's okay. I was just thinking about what we're doing after this. It's my fault, I shouldn't have been daydreaming. This is a date, I should be paying more attention." Renji said drifting closer to him. "Are you enjoying it?" He asked changing the subject, his toes barely touching the soft ground under the water, he had floated quite far out into the deeper part of the river.

Toshiro smiled slightly, successfully distracted. "Yes. I've never been in a place like this before. It's beautiful. It's also probably one of my most favourite spots now. I will have to come here again sometime." The younger man said looking around at the peaceful surroundings in pleasure. Renji smiled relaxing a little bit. He was glad Toshiro was enjoying himself.

Toshiro looked back at Renji. "What do you mean about 'what we are doing after this'? This isn't the only thing we are doing?" He asked surprised.

Renji grinned. "I told you today was going to be great. This is just the first stage that I have planned." He said roguishly.

Toshiro's eyebrow raised slightly in surprise. "What else do you have planned?" He asked curiously.

"Ah ah ah. That's a surprise. You will find out when we get there." Renji's grin widened at Toshiro's curious expression. "For now we are just going to enjoy this spot." Renji said as he quickly slapped his hands together along the surface of the water making a huge splash.

Toshiro jerked back automatically and then glared as he was drenched in water, his previously dry hair plastered to his face. Renji laughed uproariously at Toshiro's livid expression and quickly backed away to a safe distance before he could recover.

"Teme! You're going to pay for that!" Toshiro growled shaking his drenched hair out of his face and started swimming towards Renji revenge on his mind.

The two men began a splash battle which morphed to wrestling and dunking each other under the water. Both of them were having fun, much to Toshiro's surprise. He never participated in these types of childish games, but with Renji he seemed to relax and want to have fun. Toshiro was even smiling, much to Renji's delight.

After a severe bout of dunking and wrestling Renji finally called a truce and hauled himself out of the water. He flopped down on the blanket panting. Renji wasn't sure why he was so surprised that Toshiro was good at dunking him. The redhead was almost a head taller than the younger man but obviously Toshiro was a taicho for a reason. Renji had ended up being the one being dunked rather than the dunker more often than not. He sighed, folding his hands behind his head and closing his eyes enjoying the waning sunlight of the day. Renji drifted in a light doze, smiling as he heard the younger man moving through the water making a quiet splashing sound obviously enjoying the river.

"Oi, Renji wake up. It's getting late." Toshiro's quiet voice nudged him out of his doze. Renji's eyes opened lazily and he smiled warmly up at the turquoise eyes staring down at him.

"You turn into a fish yet?" Renji mumbled teasingly. Toshiro's nose wrinkled slightly.

"No. Although if I could stay here I wouldn't mind it." He answered looking back at the shining river.

Renji noticed Toshiro was fully dressed, he must have changed before waking him up. The redhead sighed, he wished he had been awake then he could have peeked, just a little bit. He stood up and gave in to a huge stretch, his arms above his head. He sighed as the satisfaction of a good stretch washed through his body. He watched from the corner of his eye as Toshiro's eyes flowed over his body and the white haired man licked his lips unconsciously. Renji smiled happily and bent to retrieve a towel. It was always nice to know that the person you desired also desired you.

He stepped off the blanket and started to rub his still damp hair. That was the problem with having long hair it usually took a lot to keep it maintained. He unbuttoned the one button on the waist band of his damp swim trunks the towel running over his honey skin. He noticed that Toshiro had turned away and was packing the picnic basket up. Renji snorted silently and quickly dropped his trunks drying himself completely before putting his clothes back on.

He draped the towel across his shoulders, his damp red hair laying on top of the towel protecting his clothes a bit from the damp. Sitting down on the dry half of the blanket and Renji proceeded to try and get the tangles out of his hair so he could tie it up. He hated combing his hair when it was wet but there was no way around it this time, even if it was only damp. He grunted as he yanked the comb through his hair and jumped slightly as the comb was snatched out of his hand.

"Sit still." Toshiro said grumpily as Renji tried to turn.

Renji closed his eyes smiling as he felt Toshiro begin to gently untangle his hair. There really wasn't much else that compared to someone tending to his hair. It was that melting feeling he got in the region of his heart and the tingle along his scalp as he felt the gentle tugging sensation and then the smooth feeling of the comb running through the strands. He could honestly stay here for the rest of his life if only Toshiro would continue.

Renji nearly fell back asleep, the feeling of Toshiro tending to his hair was so relaxing. Then he felt Toshiro's fingers running through his hair along with the comb and he hummed as the tingling sensation seeped down from his scalp and through his body. Renji shifted away from Toshiro's magical fingers and grabbed the comb.

"As much as I am really enjoying that I think we had better be going. By the time we get back it will be starting to get dark and we have one more place to go." He said his voice deeper than usual. Toshiro nodded silently looking a little disappointed. Renji quickly tied his hair at the nape of his neck and stood. He packed away the rest of the picnic things into the large backpack and shouldered it.

"Ready to go?" Renji asked as Toshiro stood and gathered up the blanket.

"Yes." Toshiro said still smiling slightly.

"Great. I hope you are ready for more fun." Renji said holding out his hand. Toshiro hesitated slightly then shyly slipped his hand into Renji's as they moved towards the edge of the forest.

"Sure." Toshiro said a bit nervously wondering what was next.

Renji grinned and tugged the smaller man to his side. "Good, let's go." He said satisfied as they headed out.

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><p><strong>AN:<strong> There ya go. I know its kinda short and not really much storyline advancement on this one – read: Boring. However the story takes me where it takes me. I just kinda let it. I might have to rein it in a bit though. I'm kinda fooling around with the thought of a Naruto fan fic: KakashixIruka, cause Iruka is so cute and Kakashi is so awesomely awesome and cool. Don't worry I will finish this one first. Anywayz, till next time.

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><p><strong>Review responses:<strong>

_Lady-Gilbert-Braginski_: I hope you are still reading. I hope you weren't put off by the Shuhei/Kira chapter. I've changed that by the way. =^.^= Yeah the drunken Toshiro made me laugh my head off while I was writing it. It cracks me up and surprises me sometimes how the characters behave. Thank you for reviewing and if you are still reading thanks for sticking with me!

_DeletedNone:_ Thank you for reviewing. I am glad you like the story! I promise I will keep writing, though it may be a bit slow now. Gurgh why oh why does life get in the way of my lewd fantasies. *sigh*

_S.S:_ Awww thanks! Yeah that little girl just wriggled her way into the story. I hadn't even planned on the whole orphanage chapter until she kinda pounced on me. Then it just had to be written! Bwahahahahahaha. I have plans for the little sweetie.

_*Person Blank*_ - Uh not sure if you are S.S or another reviewer but thanks for reviewing! Yay! Yeah I try not to go too far OOC but its bludy hard, I swear I have no idea how other people do it.

_SexyBleachGuys_: LOL! I love that you love my story. Thank you. Yeah I was kinda a FF machine when I first started but then, as above, life kinda clobbered me over the head and demanded to be lived. *sigh* Someone find a way where I can do FF and … well survive! That would be awesomeness. And yes it is my first FF story. I have written before, sorta. But no FF so I am just starting out. Though I have been a long time lover of the awesome authors here. Once again a great big THANKS to you for reviewing, it's so nice to get a long gushing review. *eyes glisten* I feel so loved!

_Ishala8_: Thanks for your response to my question about the Kira/Shuhei chapter. I've changed that by the way. It's completely different, the scene that was in it previously didn't sit well with me ever since I posted it since it didn't fit the story. Kept bugging me, then your response made me get off my ass and do something about it. Ta muchly! Yes I am referring to the physical age of Toshiro when I say 17/18 although I know he is about 130, it just fits better his body being a little older, although I really love his character I am a little uncomfortable putting him in these situations when he looks about 12… urgh. I am employing a little writers licence with that part of it.


	12. Chapter 12 Second Stage

**AN:** AaaaAAAaa… dayam that writers block. For some reason this chapter just did not want to be written. Oh and the fact that I am back at uni now… so not so much time to concentrate on my fav pastime. *sigh* Anywayz enjoy, _slightly_ longer chap than usual.

**Disclaimer:** No Bleach for me… *sad*

**Warning: **Not much this chappie, though if you don't like two men getting all romancy…. WHAT THE HELL YA DOIN HERE IN THE FIRST PLACE? Gyah.

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><p>Toshiro was happy. Actually he was more than happy. He had told Renji about his past and the redhead hadn't freaked over it. If anything the man was more attentive. The weight of his secret had been lifted off his shoulders and he felt desired. He wasn't disgusting in Renji's eyes. All that needed to be done now was to tell Renji about his other secret. The one that revealed that he was a murderer. Yes a murderer of a child molester, but a murderer all the same. Toshiro sighed, unconsciously tightening his hand around the one that was still firmly in his grasp, unwilling to let go. He had no idea how the redhead would react, but he had decided to leave that part of the truth for another day.<p>

They had reached the gates of Rukongai and were ambling towards an unknown destination. When Toshiro's hand tightened in his own Renji glanced at the younger man out of the corner of his eye with concern. Noting the nervous expression in the younger man's eyes he tugged Toshiro closer and let go of his hand only to wrap it around the other mans shoulders. Renji smiled as Toshiro's arm curved around his waist and hooked two fingers through the belt loop in his jeans. The position was surprisingly comfortable. Toshiro had never been this close to another before. The closeness that was warm and affectionate. Much to his surprise he was not only relaxed and comfortable but he also was really enjoying it.

The sun had almost completely set by now and the duskiness of evening was disappearing to be replaced with the dark shadows of night. They were in a business type district of Rukongai and Toshiro could faintly hear music coming from up ahead. As they moved closer the music became louder. Suddenly the pulsing dance music became thunderous as a door opened and a few laughing people spilled out into the street. They staggered off in the opposite direction arms around each other and the sound was just as suddenly muted as the door slowly swung shut behind them.

Toshiro glanced up at Renji as the redhead grinned down at him.

"Yep, this is the place." Renji bumped his hip against Toshiro playfully and moved towards the door. His arm slipped away from Toshiro as the white haired man didn't move. Renji turned back frowning a little as he realised that Toshiro was no longer beside him.

"What's wrong?" He asked. Toshiro stood with his hands on his hips glaring at the taller man.

"I am not going in there." Toshiro answered with finality.

Renji raised an eyebrow in surprise. "Why not?" He asked automatically.

Toshiro flushed a little and looked away crossing his arms defensively. He mumbled something unintelligibly.

Renji moved towards the tense man and put his hands on the smaller mans hips, Toshiro didn't move. He bent his knees slightly, moving his head to the side trying to make eye contact with the obviously uncomfortable Toshiro. "Sorry I didn't catch that." Renji said softly.

Toshiro met Renji's eyes for a moment then looked down, his turquoise gaze met with Renji's black shirt. "I've never been… I can't…" Toshiro stuttered then stopped, grumbling under his breath still not looking up from Renji's shirt.

"You've never been to a place like this?" Renji asked questioningly straightening up. He smiled charmed by Toshiro's awkwardness. "Don't worry, you'll love it. Just give it a chance." He said and backed up gently pulling Toshiro forward by his hips. He stopped as Toshiro took a step unwillingly then suddenly stood firm stopping any forward motion.

Renji tilted his head to the side frowning. He let go of Toshiro's hips and brought his hands up placing them on either side of Toshiro's face. He gently tilted the man's head up so he could meet those brilliant turquoise eyes with his own. "What is it Toshiro? I won't force you to go in there if you really don't want to, but I am positive that you will enjoy it." Renji said seriously.

Toshiro flushed again, obviously uncomfortable. "I don't know how to dance." The words came reluctantly and Renji blinked then unsuccessfully tried not to grin.

Toshiro's nostrils flared and he glared at the redhead. Renji pressed his lips together struggling to control his grin.

"That's okay. If you have never been to somewhere like this I had assumed that you had never experienced dancing before." Renji's eyes and smile softened. "But with the way you move, I bet you are a natural." He leaned forward sliding his big hands up into Toshiro's silky hair and resting his forehead against the other man. "Also I really want to dance with you. Dancing is the PG version of making love." Renji laughed against Toshiro's lips. He began to sway slightly as their lips touched gently.

Toshiro had automatically started to move with Renji when the man began to sway. His arms unfolded and rested on Renji's hips as one of the redhead's hands slipped from Toshiro's hair and glided down the smaller man's back gently pulling them closer. Toshiro's breath hitched as he felt Renji's hot body rub against his own and let his breath back out on a quiet moan as a tingling heat swept through his body.

Renji roused himself from the pleasurable activity raising his head from Toshiro, their lips parting. He removed his other hand from Toshiro's hair, sliding it down the man's back before linking his hands, resting them around the smaller man's waist. "Hmm, I told you that you would be great at dancing." He said heavy lidded as he smiled down at Toshiro's slightly flushed face. They were still languidly moving against one another and Toshiro's eyes blinked fully open at Renji's comment.

Renji grinned again and stepped back slightly. He caught the Toshiro's hands as they dropped from his hips and started to pull him forward. "Just give it a chance. If you really don't want to dance when we get in there we can just sit in one of the booths and listen." Renji leered playfully. "Or we can just make out in a darkened corner." He laughed at the flush that spread across Toshiro's face.

Toshiro reluctantly allowed the taller man to pull him towards the door. "Besides we are still in Rukongai, most of the people that are here won't know who we are. We can just be two anonymous guys here. That's part of what I like about the place." The redhead slid his arm back around the shorter mans neck and smiled down at him.

Renji stepped forward and pulled the nondescript door open, causing both of them to be blasted with the sudden loud dance music that rolled out of the entranceway. Renji grinned and unconsciously his body started to move with the beat. He loved this place. It was almost the only place that could be called a dance club. As a result the place was packed full with writhing, grinding and jumping bodies.

Renji didn't know how they got electricity in here for the lights and the music; he had a sneaking suspicion that the owner of the place had bribed one of the technology division's squad members to do it. But to be honest, he didn't really care. The place was fun and one of the few places that people could really let their hair down and have a good time. As long as nothing really illegal was going on and nobody was getting hurt it was all good.

Toshiro's first reaction to the sheer volume of the music was distaste. He winced as the noise assaulted his eardrums as he moved inside with Renji. The redhead nodded to the big hulking male in all black that was standing just to the side of the door. He must have been some kind of bouncer or security of some kind, he had that vibe about him. The huge man nodded his head back at Renji with respect. Obviously they knew each other. How often did the redhead come here anyway?

They emerged from the entranceway, stepping into bright flashing lights and humid air filled with shouting and laughing strangers. Toshiro saw a dimly lit raised area that ran along the entire left side of the room, he could just make out shadows of booths and tables, he noticed a couple of well lit pool tables at the far end. Down the steps from the tabled area was a huge well lit dance floor with tall tables and bar stools scattered around the perimeter. The flashing, pumping lights were hanging directly above it, attached to the high roof and flooding the area with a rainbow of pulsing spinning colours. Directly to the right running horizontal to where they were standing was a long wooden bar with people vying with each other to get the bartenders attention. Renji guided Toshiro in the direction of the bar then leaned down, shouting in his ear.

"What would you like to drink?" Renji was asking. Toshiro looked behind the bar and then back up at Renji. He arched an eyebrow and shrugged a hand out, palm up. He had no idea. Renji grinned and made his way to the edge of the bar.

Toshiro busied himself with looking around, admittedly a bit curious. There were a myriad of people in attendance and it looked like they were all having the time of their lives. There were men dancing with woman, men dancing with men, woman dancing with woman, groups dancing together and it looked like, Toshiro looked closer, yep that was about three, no four people grinding up against each other swapping kisses, hands everywhere. Toshiro blinked at the torrid display and quickly looked away, his cheeks red.

He shoved his hands in his jeans pockets and shifted his weight to his other foot uncomfortably while he waited for Renji to come back. He wasn't sure he was the kind of guy to like these sorts of places. Renji suited it. He looked over to the bar picking the other man out by the bright scarlet hair he could see over the heads of the other patrons. He could see the man laughing with some of the other customers as he waited for his turn to order. Renji was a natural at talking to other people, as much as he was brash and rude it was never without reason and he was always striking up conversations with complete strangers with ease. Toshiro didn't consider himself as easygoing. It was always difficult for him to talk to strangers. Not that he was terribly shy, it was just he never knew what to say, he was no good at small talk. So when people did try and talk to him he got nervous and emanated cold aloofness.

He frowned as he noticed one of the other men at the bar curl his hand around Renji's bare upper arm as he leaned in to shout something in the redhead's ear. Renji grinned then laughed nodding as he moved to the beat of the music. Something felt funny in the pit of Toshiro's stomach. It was an uneasy feeling. Suddenly he wanted nothing more than do go over and rip the man's hand off of Renji and kiss the redhead senseless so the other man knew who he belonged to. Toshiro blinked, his head rearing back and he ripped his eyes away from the scene, looking down at the floor boards under his feet.

'_Where the hell had that come from?'_ He thought furiously. His stomach was now in knots as he took deep breaths trying to calm down. He turned away from the bar slightly to hide the panic in his face. He didn't know how long he stood there for trying to battle with his nerves but suddenly a large long fingered hand with silver rings and a black leather, silver studded arm brace appeared over his shoulder holding a tall glass filled with ice, clear liquid and a green slice of lime on the lip.

Toshiro jumped slightly and swallowed nervously as he reached up and grasped the cold condensation covered glass from Renji. The redhead wound his arm around Toshiro's neck again, drawing the smaller man in against his body as the redhead stepped up slightly behind the white blonde and moved slowly to the beat of the music with a beer bottle in his other hand.

Toshiro experimentally took a sip of the liquid in the tall glass he was given and his eyebrows rose in surprise. The taste was tangy, bitter but sweet at the same time and really refreshing. If it wasn't for the fact that they were in a bar Toshiro would think that the drink was alcohol free but he didn't think Renji would get him a non-alcoholic drink.

Toshiro turned to Renji and smiled faintly up at the man. The redhead grinned and bent down so his lips were close to Toshiro's ear.

"Do you like it?" Renji asked loudly to be heard over the music. The only words Toshiro heard clearly were 'you' and 'like'. He nodded and took another sip of the drink through the long black straw. Renji grinned wider and nodded in satisfaction then looked over the dance floor. He looked back at Toshiro and tilted his head towards the dancers with a questioning gaze. Toshiro gazed nervously at the writhing mass of humanity and frowned.

He couldn't believe he was being this timid. It wasn't usually his style. Then again he didn't usually put himself in this sort of situation in the first place. Toshiro decided he wasn't going to be so timid anymore. He was going to enjoy this night even if it killed him. He nodded at Renji, indicating his agreement to join the people on the dance floor.

Renji smiled delightedly and bent briefly for a quick kiss before grabbing Toshiro's free hand with his own and leading him towards the floor.

There were a few upright beams evenly situated on the dance floor that Toshiro assumed were for structural support of the roof, the owners had attached high benches to the beams to give patrons another place to put drinks. Renji did just that, his beer was placed on the surface then he took Toshiro's drink setting it down right next to his beer. Toshiro gulped a mouthful of the drink nervously just before Renji confiscated it and licked his lips watching as Renji smiled seductively at him. God the man was nothing if not sexy. Toshiro thought his heart pumping.

The redhead pulled Toshiro up against him and slowly started moving to the beat. They were face to face, Toshiro's hands linked behind Renji's lower back and the redhead's hands on Toshiro's hips guiding him. Renji's head was bent over Toshiro's smaller form his cheek sliding against the white haired taicho's. Toshiro could feel Renji's hot lips brush against his neck every time they shifted to the beat. Each time he felt the smiling lips against his hot skin Toshiro's body was flooded with heat, the sensation spreading out from the contact on his neck. Toshiro closed his eyes his breath coming unevenly as he tilted his head back slightly, unconsciously giving the redhead greater access.

Renji moved closer to the smaller man his muscular thigh moving to situate itself between Toshiro's slightly shorter legs. They moved against each other sinuously, seamlessly fitting together. The dance music thundered through their bodies as they moved, their awareness narrowed down to only each other, it seemed like it was only the two of them on the dance floor.

Renji shifted one hand moving up slowly from Toshiro's hip caressing the other man's back until he could thread his fingers in the silky white hair at the base of Toshiro's head. He groaned noiselessly as he tilted his head towards the man in his arms and began to caress the bare tanned skin with his lips. He licked and nibbled briefly on Toshiro's pounding pulse before trailing kisses up to the smaller mans defined jaw then along his cheek. Abruptly Toshiro impatiently turned his head his breath catching as he pressed heated lips to the ones that were torturing him. Renji chuckled into the kiss then with a lick to the soft lips he shifted down the other side of Toshiro's jaw teasing the man with licks and nibbles to the opposite side of his neck. The teased man groaned lowly, unheard over the pumping music. His breath caught as Renji nipped once, harder than intended and apologetically laved the sting away with his velvet tongue.

Their dancing continued throughout the night and Toshiro, much to his surprise, thoroughly enjoyed every second dancing with Renji. The thought that no one knew them and they could do whatever they liked without someone accusing them of not behaving like they should was freeing. Toshiro even enjoyed moving with the music, eyes closed and head back, just getting lost in the deep thud of the music that vibrated throughout his body. He couldn't stop himself, even when Renji excused himself to go and purchase more drinks or go to the bathroom, he didn't stop dancing. Toshiro couldn't believe the euphoric feeling of letting himself go. A couple of times he had caught Renji just standing watching him dance after coming back, a heated look in his eye. Unknown to Toshiro he was the sexiest dancer on the floor. His body fluidly moved and rolled to the music, his head flung back a light sheen of sweat covering his body. It was awe inspiring the way he let himself get taken by the music. He looked like a god, a devilishly seductive god.

Renji had seen a couple of people start to approach the white haired man lust in their eyes. He had quickly warned them off with dark dangerous looks glad for his tattooed bad boy image. He wouldn't have minded dancing with other people, or even maybe letting other people dance with Toshiro. He just wasn't sure how the younger man would react, so he catalogued the question away to ask the man some other time.

When they both danced they were the hottest couple on the floor, their grinding, pumping bodies' only one aspect of their attraction. It was the intense looks they gave each other and the brief blinding hot melding of mouths radiating sex and heat that drew the other dancers to them.

They had switched to bottles of water after Toshiro's second drink. Renji had only wanted Toshiro to relax a little not get blind drunk like last time and they were having too much fun to want to get drunk anyway.

At about 3am the dance club was winding down and they decided that they would have one more dance together before leaving for the night. Toshiro couldn't believe the amount of time that had passed. They had arrived at the club just after sundown and now it was the early hours of the morning. He couldn't remember the last time he had so much fun that time disappeared.

The pair moved against one another slowly. Toshiro's arms were slung around Renji's shoulders his hands dangling down behind him and Renji's hands were linked together at the small of Toshiro's back. Toshiro's eyes were closed a small smile showing that he was enjoying the slow sway of their bodies as they moved leisurely to the music. Renji's chocolate eyes were at half mast slowly moving over Toshiro's face, committing to memory the content smile. He decided that he liked showing Toshiro new things.

They were so focussed on each other that neither noticed the coal black eyes watching from the darkest shadows in one of the booths. The eyes were cold and calculating as they examined the two men who riveted every eye in the place. The man smiled in satisfaction.

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><p><strong>AN: <strong>Kay.. there ya go. I've given ya'll a fix now. Oh BTW a review or two wouldn't go astray… they are food for the plot bunnies, it keeps them alive and bouncin! *big shiny eyes*


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