Star Wars 1. Chapter 1

_**A/N: This story was a joint effort, alternating chapters written by myself and ShouldIGetOutandPush, previously published on our blog. Odd chapters were written by me, even chapters written by her, republished here with her permission. **_

Leia Organa was almost positive that her heart had temporarily stopped beating. After the initial shock, she finally inhaled, almost choking in the process. Blinking rapidly, she hoped that somehow it was all an illusion of unfocused eyes. But her vision, as always, was crystal clear. There was no mistaking the information she had just received.

She wanted to hurl the datapad across the room and shatter it into a thousand tiny pieces. But she remembered that the Rebellion could not afford to have her haphazardly destroying its property in random fits of rage. If she succumbed to that every urge, it might be almost a daily occurrence thanks mostly in part to one obnoxious smuggler.

Speaking of whom, she wondered if under the circumstances it might be all right to literally kill him. It would be the swiftest course of action to right this wrong. The problem was, while she wanted desperately to blame him and scream at him and take out her frustration and anger in telling him it was all his fault, she was fairly sure he was just as clueless as she had been.

But then, if he didn't know, should she even bother to tell him? He deserved to know about such a thing, didn't he? Most often she didn't think he deserved much more than a kick to the shins but somehow she wasn't sure that she could keep something like this to herself.

Their relationship to that point had been… volatile, at best. The moment they'd met they'd simply referred to each other with sarcastic terms of 'endearment' in the midst of a hasty and ill-planned escape. "_Maybe you'd like it back in your cell, Your Highness_." And, "_He's the brains, sweetheart_." Once upon a time she had thought it would be a lovely thing someday when a man would call her sweetheart. But it sounded bitter coming from that loud, Corellian mouth.

She'd given it right back with, "_Into the garbage chute, Flyboy!_" Her attempts at ordering him around – even if her taking control of the situation had actually saved their lives – did not amuse him and it certainly didn't give him cause to express gratitude for not letting them all get vaporized on the prison level. _That ungrateful, conceited, infuriating…_

Realizing her hands were clenched in tight fists, she consciously relaxed the tense muscles in her body. This couldn't be true. It had to be some sort of horrible mistake. Was it the Rogues? Even they wouldn't have gone this far. Perhaps Han himself? Could he think something like this would be funny? She suspected he might be as horrified as she was to learn the news.

Composing herself, she decided it was necessary to confront the arrogant Corellian and hope that he would cooperate in taking care of this immediately. She smoothed out the front of her snowsuit by force of habit, as the garment didn't tend to wrinkle and if it did, given the circumstances of being trapped on a base on this frozen planet, nobody would care or notice. She sometimes wondered why she even bothered braiding her hair so elaborately when nobody looked at her as anything more than a ruthless leader. She might as well shave her head and cut down on hair-washing time.

Palming the door to her quarters, it slid open to the icy corridors of the Rebel base on Hoth. They had been stationed there for roughly two months now, and Leia had still not gotten used to the cold. It constantly chilled her down to the core while she futilely attempted to pretend she didn't notice. She longed for the warm summers of her home planet of Alderaan, lying in the sun by the ocean and feeling the gentle breezes.

Instead, she was stuck with an entire base built of ice, meaning it could not be warmed or it would melt. To step outside meant blizzards and sometimes biting wind that gave you frostbite in only a few seconds of exposure. Sure, the sun would shine a fair amount of the time as well, but she would be deluded if she thought it might warm her skin at all. While its rays might cause a sunburn if you went out for too long, you would never sense any heat.

That was why this planet was such a perfect place for a hidden base. It would never be suspected that anyone would go there on purpose as it was barely inhabitable. It required constant replenishing of supplies from off-planet, which, fortunately, meant a lot of traveling for a certain freighter pilot. Her level of anxiety always dropped dramatically when she was sure she wouldn't run into him for a few days.

But now she needed to see him. Badly. And she was not looking forward to this confrontation. She stalked down the icy hallways passing various Rebels going about their daily business without giving her a second look, heading straight for the designated hangar where the _Falcon_ usually sat between supply runs and when it wasn't functioning and needed extensive repairs – which seemed to be quite often.

Rounding the final corner, she felt her stomach drop when she saw a big, vacant space where the Corellian freighter usually sat.

"Hey, Leia!" The excited voice of Luke Skywalker made her jump as she turned to face him as he approached her from her left.

"Do you know where Han is?" She spoke the words without even taking a breath, surprised at her own abruptness and feeling a little guilty for not even giving her best friend the courtesy of a greeting.

He stopped short of her, noticing her anxiety. "I think he's due back from a supply run pretty soon. Is everything all right?"

He placed a comforting hand on her shoulder and she only wished that the warm gesture would be enough to make her feel a little better. But she managed to calm a bit before responding. "Oh, sorry, of course. Everything is fine. I've just got some supplies that need picking up on Dantooine."

"Well, I'm sure he'll be back soon. Come on, let's go get some breakfast."

Leia followed absently, having trouble moving one foot in front of the other. How could she tell him that things were anything but all right?


	2. Chapter 2

_**The following chapter was written by ShouldIGetOutandPush**_

She wasn't much company to Luke as they sat and ate breakfast together. It wasn't as if she had never tried to piece together the events of that night before. It had just never been quite as important as it had become now. That little bombshell this morning had highly encouraged her to refocus filling in all the gaps of that evening. She only hoped that the exercise wouldn't reveal anything else she would've been happier to forget.

**_Six Months Earlier_**

She and Han had been on a mission together. It was to be a 'simple mission'. Somehow those words, combined with her and Han Solo, always ended up in something else entirely. The mission entailed funneling some credits through a few dummy accounts. Lots of credits. Through lots of dummy accounts. Han had bragged that he knew his way around all the shady characters that they would have to deal with. That his mouth and his wits in those type situations could be just as quick as his blaster draw. _Ha!_

Sometime during the night, which had entailed numerous cantinas and casinos, the pair had gotten drugged and whatever credits they had managed to pilfer had been stolen from them. But that was not the worst part. Of course, they didn't remember being drugged. They couldn't even remember where they had been last. But after they woke up the way that they did…credits and Alliance missions were the least of their worries.

That morning, at the very first tingle of consciousness, Leia immediately knew something was wrong. She bolted up to a sitting position, her head swiveling around on her shoulders like Artoo's dome. A sharp pain behind her eyes was pounding, pulsating with the heavy thumping of her heart. The drapes over the window were gaped open, allowing a piercing sliver of daylight to plunge into the otherwise darkened room. Her hand went up to her forehead, squeezing the pain away. Something was still not right.

She grabbed a fistful of the sheet and pulled it to her chest. Her bare chest. It wasn't a habit of hers to sleep in the nude, especially while on a mission in a strange city. And this didn't look like her room. The bed was too soft, too big. Something tugged at the sheets and she clutched them closer to her. _No, no, no, no._ But no matter how many times she said it, it wouldn't make him disappear.

"Douse the freakin' lights, huh?" He mumbled, opening one eye to glance at her. "My head's killin' me."

She stared at him, horrified, glaring at the one eye that had just briefly focused on her. Allowing him a moment to absorb what he had just seen. _One, two, three_. The eye popped back open, wide and disbelieving. And then there they were; one bloodshot hazel eye, clearly not trusting itself, staring at two wide brown eyes.

And reality finally set in.

Leia had seen Han in action before. She had seen him draw his blaster so fast that anyone would swear that he had it up his sleeve. But she had never seen him move as quickly as he did just then. Yanking the covers as he rolled out of the bed like a frontline soldier diving for cover, Leia reacted just as quickly. Before a single word could be spoken, they were standing across the bed from one another. She, half-naked, still clutching the sheets to her breasts. He, she wasn't sure how naked, clinging to the coverlet as if it were a titanium shield.

"Wha-?" Han asked, looking around as if someone was going to shoot him at any moment. "Wha-?" He tried again, looking at the bed as if upon the scene of some heinous crime.

Leia, for her part, just stood there, shaking her head, as if the more she denied it, the less it would be true.

"What the fuck happened?" Han finally spit the words out. Leia only hoped that whatever happened didn't involve the word 'fuck' in it.

After a few more false starts at trying to speak, they began to take stock of their situation. Han had to finally drop the coverlet to convince Leia that he still had his underwear on. Two pairs of underwear, they both conceded, equaled the princess' innocence was still intact. _Well, maybe not my innocence_, she thought, but then thought better about arguing over semantics with a half-naked Han Solo.

A round in the 'freshers and a few more items of clothing later, and the pair had figured out that they had been drugged. They spent the day retracing their steps. Talked to bartenders and casino dealers, watched security footage. Pinpointed the time the mission officially went off course and even identified a few likely suspects. But it still left hours upon hours of unaccounted for time. Time, during which, they were both definitely under the influence of a mind-altering drug and apparently de-clothed.

Back then she had been so worried that something physical had happened between them, that once they had determined it hadn't, she had been so relieved that she was willing to let a few missing details remain a mystery. Even during their mission debrief, they didn't mention the unaccounted for time period for fear that the Alliance may want to hypnotize them or otherwise glean the information out of them. If Leia ever happened to remember how she ended up the way she did, she definitely didn't want an audience.

Initially Han had been very magnanimous about the entire thing. Leia was sure it was because he was racked with guilt at the thought of perhaps defiling her. It had taken numerous assurances on her part to finally set his mind at ease. Too late, she realized that that had been a huge mistake. In the _Falcon_, on the way back to the Rebel Base, Han was finally able to find the humor in the entire ordeal.

"You look different. More mature. I think we at least kissed," he said, staring at her from across the holochess table.

She stared at him. Of course she had come to accept that they had indeed probably kissed. It wasn't like she hadn't fantasized about it and obviously, while stripped of her inhibitions, had acted on some part of those desires. She was just really relieved that, even while so blindly inebriated, she hadn't let it go any farther. But all of that didn't mean she had to admit any such things to Han Solo. She would never hear the end of it! She took another sip of her kaffe, set it down on the table and said, "Kissing you would hardly be considered a testament of my maturity."

"Well, something happened," he said determinedly. Every time his eyes dropped down to her chest she imagined he was trying to remember what they looked like.

"What makes you so sure?" She asked.

"Because we woke up in the same bed," he said impatiently. "Women just don't do that with me unless something…_something nice_ enticed 'em there in the first place."

"Please stop," she said, holding her hand up and shutting her eyes. "I still have a headache and you lumping me in with your loose term for women is enough to make me wanna vomit."

"I do not use the term _loosely_!" Han bellowed. "I happen to like nice women." Clearly she had bruised his ego somewhere along the way.

"Fine," she agreed. "You like nice women. But let's not forget that I don't like you. And nothing happened. We fell asleep in the same room…under the same covers…lying next to each other."

"Naked," Han added.

"Semi-naked," she conceded. "And that's it." And she had sliced the air with her hands, putting an end to the entire conversation.

But Han had been right, even if he hadn't realized it at the time. Even if he was only trying to rile her up and joke with her. Something _had_ happened to get her into that bed. Something, perhaps worse than anything physical she might've done. Something more permanent. Or at least _official_.

She stuck her hand in her pocket and felt for the flimsi, not sure how she would endure the conversation that would ensue once she showed it to Han. Of course, maybe she would have some control over that now, over _him_ now. Maybe, through some divine influence she had heard rumor of, he would have to listen to her now. After all, according to that little piece of flimisplast, she was his wife.


	3. Chapter 3

"Leia?"

She jumped in her seat as she heard the concerned voice of the young, blue-eyed man sitting across from her.

Bringing herself back into the moment, she found her voice again so she could answer. "Sorry, Luke, I guess I just zoned out a little, there."

"Zoned out is right," he said as he smiled amusingly at her. "You sure you're all right?"

She could tell that Luke was starting to suspect that something might be going on between her and Han. If the three of them were alone together in silence she could see him looking back and forth between the pair, almost as though waiting for some sort of proof that might validate his theory. They never spoke of it, and she always preferred to think of Luke as naively oblivious to such things, but even though he tended to exude a sort of innocence due to his boyish features, he wasn't blind and he certainly had proven to be perceptive.

She put on her best fake smile, earned through years of practice in diplomacy. "Everything's fine, Luke. I just… I didn't sleep very well last night." That actually wasn't a lie. As was the case fairly often, Leia had spent a considerable amount of time lying awake in bed, her mind racing with a thousand thoughts while she tried in vain to get warm enough under the mountain of blankets that covered her. Hoth was far too cold of a place for someone to get a good night's sleep. Although Leia wondered if she would be sleeping any better no matter how warm and comfortable she was.

A few times Han had offered to let her stay on the _Falcon _while it rested idly in the hangar. He'd even been nauseatingly nice about it, telling her it was warmer in there and he knew things got cold on the base's designated quarters. She was astonished, and maybe even slightly disappointed, when he hadn't even suggested that they share. It would've been a lot easier to rebuff him if he had made some snide comment, as he often tended to do. She could've stormed off in frustration and anger, given another reason to keep her distance from the exacerbating smuggler.

Instead, she was forced to stop whatever nice little moment may have been happening between them, telling him that she had an early meeting and she didn't want to risk any chance of being late and before he could even finish telling her he'd make sure that he and even Chewie would help make sure she was awake in plenty of time, she had fled from the cockpit, minutes later finding herself once again shivering in her bed.

She never knew what to do when he was nice to her. Or when he had any moments of actually seeming sincere. It made him so much more difficult to hate. And, gods, how she wanted to hate him! Hating him allowed her to keep her distance. She had felt things for him that more than scared her. He was just an act, she kept telling herself. He's not the kind of man who wants anything more than to get you into bed once and move on. And if he kept opening his mouth, it always helped to remind her why she was trying so hard not to give him a second thought.

At least given his apparent desire at remaining unattached to anyone or anything, he would be just as appalled as she was to find out that somehow the two had become legally married. What in the universe was in those drugs they were given? How could they have done something like that and how could she not have any memory of it?

Even though it was all a terrible mistake she had this unwanted twinge of disappointment. Getting married was supposed to be one of the greatest moments of one's life. It was supposed to be a happy and joyous occasion between two people who loved each other deeply and wanted to spend the rest of their lives together. It certainly wasn't supposed to be a huge mistake instigated by being drugged and involving two people who spent most of their time at each other's throats.

It felt once again like some cruel, bitter taste of something else in life she would never get to truly experience. Falling in love and living happily ever after weren't for people like her. Leading the Rebellion left little to no time for selfish pursuits and had no sign of ending anytime soon. Her work was never done. Besides, loving anyone or anything just meant that eventually you would wind up hurt. Her heart had been far too broken to ever go through that again.

Looking down at her plate, she realized that she had spent most of the time simply moving the food around rather than actually eating. She finally nibbled on two tasteless bites, at least letting Luke see that she had eaten something. Her stomach had remained unbearably queasy not only since realizing that she and Han were married, but especially when she remembered waking up in bed next to him with almost nothing on. She wondered what it might've felt like if he'd touched her...

_The one time something like that happens, and I can't even remember it._ She shook her head. There was nothing to remember. It was never something she wanted, so what difference did it make? She wondered if there would come a time when they could look back on this and laugh. "Remember that time you and… what's his name got married while you were drugged? That was crazy. Whatever happened to him?"

That's what would happen, right? Sooner or later he'd be gone, never to be heard from again. Just another one of those people who comes into your life out of nowhere, drives you insane for a while, and then disappears forever. She wondered if in twenty years she'd even remember him.

"You ready to go, Leia?"

She looked up, seeing that Luke's plate was empty and they'd been sitting quietly for a while. That was one of the things she liked about Luke, they could be in each other's company in comfortable silence. She felt safe with him. At ease in such a way that she never felt around Han.

Han… she really needed to find out when he was coming back and get this taken care of as soon as humanly possible.

"Sure. Let's go."


	4. Chapter 4

**_This chapter was written by ShouldIGetOutandPush_**

Han Solo was a man that could recognize trouble when he saw it. Some would say that was because he was trouble himself and it was easy to recognize one's reflection in a mirror. Whatever the case, there was trouble waiting for him on the tarmac as he brought the _Falcon_ down for a gentle landing. Trouble in all capital letters. Trouble in a deceivingly little package and a deceptively beautiful disguise.

Chewie warfled something from the copilot's seat.

"Yeah, I know. I see her," Han mumbled as he completed the landing and shutdown sequence.

Another questioning bark from Chewbacca and what could only be described as an amused chuckle.

"I don't know. Nothing that I can remember. I've been off-planet for kriff's sake," he replied coming to his feet. "What could I have done?"

Chewbacca voiced his opinion.

"Funny," Han mumbled as he turned to exit the cockpit. "I'll go run interference. You come right behind when you're done and save me, alright?"

The Wookiee chortled his response as Han walked away.

"You know I don't even have that many credits!" Came Han's reply as he walked away. "Besides, I always owe you. Why don't you just stop keeping count already?"

Chewbacca said something about owning the _Falcon_ one day, but Han didn't even bother to comment. _That'll be the day!_

She was waiting for him at the edge of the ramp as it touched down on the hangar floor. Definitely not a good sign.

"Hiya, Princess! Ya missed me?" He said, trying to keep things light.

"You could say that," she replied, her tone serious.

That had not been the response he had been expecting. Either she wanted something or he was in more trouble than he had originally feared. _Where the kriff is Chewie?_ "Oh, yeah?" He replied, guardedly.

"Can we talk?" She asked, motioning back toward the ship.

_Dive for cover!_ Han's innate survival reflexes were firing up like a repeating blaster. "Sure," he replied calmly. He wasn't a champion Sabacc player for nothing. He turned his body and held his hand up toward the ramp, inviting her inside.

She eyed him suspiciously as she walked by. Han was sure she must be able to smell his fear. He followed at a safe distance behind her and momentarily forgot his worries as he watched her retreating rear.

"Let me just warn you that I'm in no mood to joke about this," she said as she turned around to face him.

Han had to lift his gaze up to her face and reorient himself to the problem at hand. Quickly he scanned his recent memory for anything that he was supposed to know about or something that he might be able to tease her with and came up empty. "_Okay_," he said slowly. "Not joke about what, exactly?"

She began to dig in one of her pockets and again Han had to fight his ingrained response to pull his blaster on anyone that dug in their pockets during a standoff. But Leia wouldn't pull a blaster on him. Any weapons she might have would be more damaging than any blaster anyway.

"This," she said, her voice almost a whisper and Han realized that she was upset.

He took the piece of flimsiplast and read it. Once he realized what it was he read it again and then once more for good measure. He understood what it meant. He even figured out very quickly when it must've happened. What he didn't know was how to handle the situation with the awaiting Princess.

His normal response would be to make light of it and possibly tease her about consummating the deal. But he had already promised not to joke about it and as he glanced back up at her, he couldn't help but notice how nervous she was. It was one thing to dish it out when he knew for sure she could handle it, but this would be like kicking a baby bat-falcon out the nest. He couldn't remember ever seeing her looking so defenseless. _Does being married to me really freak her out that bad?_

"Well," she said and he looked back up at her. "Say something," she practically pleaded.

He looked back down at the piece of paper. Now was not the time to select his response from his usual repertoire. _When had she ever asked me to _say something_ and not _shut up_? _ He thought he might want to actually try and make her not regret the unusual request. "Well," he started. "It definitely looks like the real deal." Then looking back up at her, he said, "I'm guessing this is a little residual reminder from that botched mission on Atzerri?" Botched mission? Now, how was that for diplomacy?

He watched as Leia released a long breath, obviously relieved that he had not chosen the snide comments or innuendo that would be his norm. "That's a nice way to put it," she replied.

"I did promise to be nice," he said with a smile. Seeing her relax brought the mischievousness out in him. "Still," he started, looking back down at the paper. "That was before I realized that you were my property."

"Your _property_?" She snapped and taking a step forward she snatched the flimsi from within his grasp. "Why am I not surprised that you would have such a _barbaric_ view of marriage?"

Her fuse was way shorter than normal, he realized. Being Mrs. Solo sure didn't set well with her. She turned to walk past him and storm out of the ship, but he caught her by the arm. "Calm down, Your Hotheadedness. I was only joking!"

"Exactly!" She replied, yanking her arm free. "Doing exactly what I asked you not to. Exactly what you promised you wouldn't!"

Her eyes shimmered with threatening tears. She had swung so quickly from irate to distraught that he was momentarily stunned and then quickly felt guilty. "Alright, alright," he whispered, grabbing her at the shoulders gently and bending down slightly to get to eye level with her. "I'm sorry. I was just trying to lighten the mood."

"I'm not in the mood to be lightened," she replied exhaustedly as her shoulders slumped and her chin drooped.

"Okay," he said straightening up. "I realize that now. This is nothing we can't handle. Nothing that can't be undone," he assured her. Quickie divorces were just as easy to get as quickie marriages, if not just a little more expensive. "We'll just have to go back to Atzerri."

"And how am I going to manage that?" She asked. "I can't just disappear with you for no legitimate reason whatsoever."

"You let me worry about that," he said more confidently than he felt.

"But how-"

He pressed his finger on her lips. "I don't want you to worry about this. I'm going to fix it. Do you trust me to fix this?" He asked, praying that she would say yes. Of course, the fact that he had never told anyone about that botched mission to Atzerri in the first place had bolstered her opinion of him by several parsecs, he was sure.

She seemed to consider his words. He could almost see her volleying back and forth between trusting him and opting for the title of widow instead. Finally she nodded her head very slightly and he removed his finger from her lips.

"Good," he said, taking the flimsi from her. "Now, you go back and continue on about your business." He used his hands to turn her toward the ramp. "Keep freedom free and justice just and all that."

She turned as if to argue and he tightened his grip.

"Uh, uh, uh, no arguments," he chided as he ushered her down the ramp. "Just sit tight and I'll figure everything out."

Once she had stepped off the ramp and her feet hit the tarmac she turned around and looked at him. "Fine," she reluctantly conceded. "But I didn't expect you to figure it out by yourself. I'll see what I can do about getting us to Atzerri. I should be able to pull some strings." She hesitated and then said, "I'll probably regret saying this, but I feel better now knowing that we'll figure this out together. That I'm not all alone worried about this anymore." She hesitated again and said, "Thank you."

"No need to thank me," Han replied. "Working together. That's what married people do, right?" He immediately raised his hands up in surrender as her eyes lit with the fire of fury that he could so easily coax from her. "Joking!" He said through a wide grin.

She glanced around to see who was near and when sufficiently satisfied that no one was in earshot, she took a step toward him and poked her finger in his chest as she said, "Listen to me and listen to me good, Solo. Laugh all you want. But if we don't take care of this, you won't have to worry about getting married or divorcing me because I'll see to it that the galaxy is short by one smart-mouthed smuggler and believe me, no one will miss you!"

"Yes, Your Highnessness," he replied. "I get the picture."

She turned and walked toward the main corridor and he stood there and watched her for a while. Then glancing down at the flimsi in his hands, he turned and went back up into his ship.

"Hey, Chewie," he called and the Wookiee roared in reply and came ambling down the cockpit corridor.

Chewbacca started to say something smart about how Han was back in trouble with the Princess, but Han cut him off by stuffing the flimsiplast into the Wookiee's hairy palm.

"There," he said brusquely. "Consider our debts _squared_," Han added as he walked past his copilot down the curved corridor.

It was a bet they had made years ago when Han had been drunk and pining over the ever-unflappable princess. Han laid claim that someday, she would be his wife. Chewie had given him 100 to 1 odds and had gotten a belly ache from laughing at him. "Who's laughing now?" Han called back as he slipped into the cockpit.


	5. Chapter 5

Getting his marriage to Leia annulled was not something he had expected to add to his to-do list. Not now, not ever. Even drugged it seemed crazy that she had agreed to such a thing… or maybe she had instigated it? Han's mind had been flashing to random images from that night, but none of them had come together to form anything close to a cohesive story. He even wondered if some of it he was remembering from dreams rather than reality.

Before he took care of that business, he had to message the supply crew to come and unload the cargo from his latest run. He hoped that Leia would understand that fixing this problem wouldn't be instantaneous. For a moment he had a wicked thought that maybe he could stretch this out as long as possible, force her to stay married to him for at least… a few days, anyway. Who would've thought a guy like him would end up married to a princess? Even if it was all a horrible, drugged mistake. That didn't mean he couldn't attempt to enjoy it while it lasted.

He felt a bit insulted at how horrified Leia seemed over this ordeal. Granted this wasn't something that either of them truly wanted, but it wasn't as though they had to act like a married couple. It was a legal document and nothing more. Yes, quite unfortunately, nothing more…

Han thought back to waking up that morning, having slept next to an almost-naked Leia. He'd been just as startled as she was, followed by mild disappointment once they'd both jumped out of bed and she managed to cover herself before he saw anything he was positive he would've enjoyed seeing.

Looking down at himself, he'd realized that he was still in his underwear. Now, it had been a while, but he had never been in the habit of putting any clothes back on after enjoying some naked time with a woman. Leia, fortunately for her but a little less fortunately for him, also still had her lower half just covered enough to leave her halfway decent.

Han sat back in his pilot's chair, lost in thought. Closing his eyes, he tried to remember anything from the night they had been drugged. He had no recollection of a wedding ceremony, that was for sure. He also couldn't recall either of them talking about getting married, or even acting like they liked each other. Did he?

His eyes still shut, he could picture the curtains behind Leia as she held the sheet pressed tightly against her in the hotel room. They were a gaudy floral pattern of too-bright and mismatched colors. Turquoise, orange, yellow, pink and some sort of hideous shade of green.

Suddenly he saw the curtains again, only this time Leia was standing in front of him, pulling them closed and then turning and looking at him seductively. Leia had never looked at him like that. He was pretty sure she'd never had cause to look at _anyone _like that. Painfully slowly, she sauntered toward him and he backed away until he felt the back of his legs making contact with the bed. She closed the distance until finally she slipped her arms around him, squeezing his lower back and pressing her entire body against his.

She felt warm and soft and wonderful, and the entire thing was like a dream come true. The only problem was, as much as he wanted her, he knew she wasn't herself. Even in his drugged state he understood that this was not how an unaltered Leia would act. But then she rested her chin against his chest, which was as high as she could reach, and he could tell she wanted to kiss him, but she couldn't get close enough.

His conscience was at war with his hormones and as he looked down at those deep, brown eyes and those full lips nearly begging to be kissed, he decided there couldn't be any harm in a little kiss, right? Lowering his head slowly, almost in fear that she would suddenly come to her senses and back away in repulsion, he finally pressed his lips to hers. He was tentative at first, but it didn't take long until it was as though his lips sunk into hers as the kiss deepened, releasing tension he'd been feeling for what felt like years. Her lips parted gently and he felt her tongue silently but forcefully asking for permission as he opened his mouth to accept it.

His pulse was racing as his mind had been wiped of any thoughts aside from his intense desire for the princess who was suddenly kissing him quite passionately. Her delicate little fingers – well, usually delicate even though she had sure proven they could handle a blaster – reached up and began undoing the fasteners of his shirt. Time felt as though it were standing still and he still couldn't believe what was actually happening. And he certainly didn't want it to stop.

His skin tingled when she pushed his shirt open, brushing her palms against his chest as she lowered the garment off his shoulders. Pulling her close once again he marveled at the feeling of her warm body against his, the wonderful sensation of her hands moving up and down his back, showing him that she wanted this just as much as he did.

His eyes had snapped open at that moment. Not breaking the kiss, he wondered if she really did want this at all. _This isn't really her. I can barely remember the past few hours. We were drugged._ Han had had the misfortune of being drugged on a few occasions, and he felt the familiar signs of realization rushing into his mind as the daze wore off. Leia, for her part, had not stopped kissing Han deeply, and he continued to let her. But he knew she was being influenced by something. Whatever it was would wear off eventually, and if he continued to let this happen she would probably never speak to him again. And that was only if he was lucky. It was more likely she'd actually kill him.

He knew she didn't weigh much more than half of what he did, and whatever they had been given was not likely to wear off on her soon. It hadn't even worn off him yet, just enough for him to start to know what was real and what wasn't. He still had no idea how they had wound up here like this.

His mind was telling him that he needed to stop this before it went too far. His body was already rapidly approaching the point of no return. _Gods, I want her. But not like this…_

Abruptly, he pulled his face away from hers, out of her reach. The disappointment was evident as she glared at him. _Gods, she's a good kisser for someone who has been accused of being the Ice Princess._

"What are you doing?" she asked, sounding more playful than angry.

He wasn't sure he could form words at the moment; his pulse was racing and he struggled to catch his breath. "I think maybe it's time for you to go to bed."

Her arms, still wrapped around his mid section, squeezed him more tightly. "That's exactly what I had in mind."

_It'd be so easy. Just take her right now. She wants you!_

Using every ounce of willpower he possessed, he reached behind his back and slid her arms away from him, stepping back and leaving space between them. He already missed having her body up against his. The playful disappointment that had previously been on her face had given way to anger.

"Don't you want me?"

Why did she have to ask him that? How could he not tell her that he wanted her with every fiber of his being? He'd wanted this for almost as long as he'd known her, and yet he was pushing her away. _This being noble crap is going to ruin my life._

"Sweetheart," he began, instantly regretting using the term of endearment, even if normally she took it as a condescending insult, "I don't think you really want to do this."

A smile crossed her lips once again and she nodded, looking sultry and seductive enough to make him want to act on instinct rather than letting his brain handle this decision. He tried to remember if he had ever turned a woman down for sex. Well, truthfully there had been a few others, but they had been beyond drunk and he suspected he'd wind up cleaning up some vomit at some point during the evening which would surely taint the experience. Those women weren't themselves either, but none of them were women that he actually had any feelings for.

In fact, he'd never had feelings like this for _anyone _before. _You are an idiot, Solo. You might well regret this night for the rest of your life._

She surprised him by stepping back, giving him cause to release the grip on her previously-wandering hands. He was momentarily relieved, thinking he had finally convinced her, or maybe the drugs had finally started to wear off on her, too. But she had a twinkle in her eye and a mischievous smile on her face that suddenly made him very nervous.

"I think I know what I want. And I think you know what you want, too." Just as she finished the last word, she crossed her arms in front of her torso, reaching down to the hem of the loose, airy dress she was wearing and pulling it over her head before he could even move.

All of the air had left his lungs and his heart sank down to his stomach. His eyes traveled downward to see what she had revealed to him, finding smooth, obviously soft, creamy white skin. He couldn't breathe or blink when his eyes fell on her chest that had seemingly spent the evening unsupported. Her lower half was covered by the standard-issue Rebellion nondescript white cotton briefs, but now that they were the only things keeping him from seeing her in all her glory, they only seemed to enhance one of the most arousing sights he had ever laid eyes on.

Speaking of arousing, he was going to find himself in a galaxy of trouble if he didn't stop this right now. No matter how much he respected her and didn't want to take advantage of her, he was still a man whose hormones were going to take complete control of him any second now.

She stood proudly in front of him with a nervous smile on her lips that told him that even though she'd made herself believe she wanted this, she had never let anyone gaze at her so intimately. There was no way he could do this to her, knowing it was something she had never experienced. Nobody should take advantage of someone like that. He took a half a second longer to commit the image to memory before he reached behind him and grabbed the coverlet from the bed, bringing it to wrap around her, pulling her up against his side.

He could see the disappointment on her face and he knew how awful it could feel to be turned down when initiating something like that. She had literally thrown herself at him and he rebuffed her advances. He hoped she wouldn't remember that he had rejected her, as that sort of damage could be irreparable. Rather than apologize, he just tried to convince her that she needed sleep.

With so much less of her to draw his attention, he was able to find his voice again. "Come on, you've had a long day and I know you're tired." He spun them around so they faced the bed and then saw her face wrinkle in confusion.

"I'm not that tired," she said as he spun her and sat her down on the mattress, careful to make sure that the blanket remained securely blocking any part of her that might distract him from his attempts at doing the right thing. _The right thing sucks. I want to go back to not having much of a conscience._

She still looked confused, but she didn't fight him when he lifted her legs to bring her horizontal on the bed, her head resting comfortably on the pillow. He felt a headache of his own coming on; he suspected partly the result of whatever drugs he'd been given, and partly because he was forcing himself to tamp down some incredibly intense desires. There was an even stronger ache coming from another part of his body that he did everything he could to ignore.

He grabbed another blanket to cover her, pulling it all the way up to her chin and blocking as much of her as he could without suffocating her. _I'm not sure I can even look at her right now without wanting to change my mind about this._

He squatted next to the bed and smoothed the long, silky hair away from her forehead, attempting to soothe her and lull her to sleep. "Shhhh, rest, now. We had a long day. You just need your sleep."

Her eyes shut and she pulled the blankets even tighter around her, and he exhaled in relief as he had finally convinced her that she didn't want to do what she had almost done. "Shhh…" he said again, continuing to stroke her hair as her breathing deepened, and he got caught up in how peaceful and adorable she looked when she was sleeping.

When her lips parted gently and her breathing was deep and even, he knew she was asleep and he only then realized that his fingers were still brushing gently against the silkiness of her hair. Pulling his hand away, he simply sank down to sit on the floor to pull himself together, resting his head in his hands and wondering what the hell had just happened and why he was such an idiot.

Exhaustion started to overwhelm him, and he had only enough strength to use the 'fresher before he stumbled back toward the only bed in the hotel room. Previously he had promised to sleep on the floor, but since she had seemed to so enjoy the idea of sleeping with him only a little while earlier, he figured she would get a lot less mad if he finally took her up on her offer now – even if in this case it was literally just to _sleep _with her.

Using the same logic, he thought she might not be so mad if he at least took off his pants as the coarse fabric did not lend itself well to sleep attire. Stepping out of his trousers, he was left in his own simple pair of white boxer briefs as he slipped under the sheet that still covered his side of the bed while Leia remained cocooned within the rest of the blankets like some sort of protective barrier.

He felt his body relax into the mattress, his muscles calming from being immensely tense earlier. In the darkness he glanced at Leia's sleeping form next to him, only able to see the back of her head and the gentle rising and falling of the blankets on top of her with each breath she took. He wanted to pull her closer, hold her while she slept. It was the least she could let him do after he had saved her earlier from what she might have thought of as the biggest mistake of her life.

Instead, he rolled onto his back and stared at the ceiling before his eyes began to close. She was going to kill him in the morning. None of this was really even his fault and yet she was still going to kill him just for being… him. He couldn't win.

Sleep had finally overwhelmed him, and when he had awoken in shock the next morning, all memory of the events of the previous evening had evaporated. All he knew was that he had found himself in bed with Leia, and he felt like it was some sort of sick joke that he couldn't remember any of it.

But he remembered now. Han swiped his hand from his forehead down to his chin, feeling beads of sweat lingering on his skin. It wasn't often that you were given cause to sweat on Hoth. He felt almost as frustrated as he had that night, wanting something so desperately that he just couldn't bring himself to take, knowing that it just wouldn't be right.

He wondered again when he had become such a good guy. He hated being a good guy. And he wondered if Leia would ever remember some of those details from that night. He wondered if she knew that he had stopped her from doing something she'd regret. He suspected she had decided without cause that the entire thing had been his fault.

Shaking his head, he realized that it didn't matter. All that mattered was that they got this whole marriage debacle behind them as quickly as possible.


	6. Chapter 6

**_The following chapter was written by ShouldIGetOutandPush_**

Leia spent the rest of the evening slumped over her desk and its customary mound of paperwork. Her meeting with Han had gone better than she expected. Begrudgingly, she admitted that Han had been somewhat civil and mature about the entire thing and although he had teased her a little, it wasn't nearly as much as he could have given the circumstances.

Married to Han Solo. _Ha!_ She still couldn't get over the absurdity of the entire thing. What a cruel trick of fate that mission to Atzerri had been. This was the last thing that she needed to deal with or think about and the very last person that she wanted to feel somehow indebted to. After all, he was already keeping one secret, about how they had woken up together. Now she would be further beholden to him, so to speak.

But there was nothing she could about that now. She had only to concentrate on getting them out of the situation as painlessly as possible. Thumbing through a few datafiles, she pulled up the mission notes on the Atzerri operation. It shouldn't be that difficult to get the High Council interested in reopening the case. There was still a trail of untouched credits waiting to be scooped up on that planet. The problem was Han. Although she was key to the mission, Han was most definitely not and after their cover had somehow been blown the first time, she was more than sure that the High Council would be more than a little hesitant to send the pair back for a second try. No, more than likely, another operative would be assigned to her and that just wouldn't do at all. But a problem was much easier to solve when you were prepared for it.

"What about the mission to Atzerri?" Leia asked casually as the High Council meeting was drawing to a close.

"What about it?" Mon Mothma asked.

Leia took a deep breath, trying her best not to appear too eager. "Although Captain Solo and I had to abort the mission due to the burglary, there are still several depositories with large sums that we hadn't visited yet. Those credits are still out there waiting. And I think we can all agree that now is not the time to leave any money on the table."

Leia's heart was racing inside of her chest. Of course nothing she said was untrue, but she couldn't fight the feeling that everyone could see straight through her charade. That everyone somehow knew her little secret.

Mon looked over to Madine, her eyebrows lifted in question.

"She's right," Madine said. "There's still plenty enough credits there to warrant a mission. And it's been long enough that the heat's probably cooled."

"Enough to send Leia back? She's the only one coded to open the accounts and I'm not comfortable sending her into known danger. These missions are dangerous enough as it is," Rieekan interjected.

Leia usually appreciated the general's concern, but right now she cursed it. Keeping her fingers crossed mentally, she awaited Madine's reply.

"I wouldn't send the Princess into a dangerous situation, General. I assure you," Madine replied. "With that in mind, we'll have to find a suitable operative to accompany her. Sending Solo back with her would be out of the question."

Leia's heart sank. It was just as she had feared. But all hope was not lost…yet.

"Well, that puts a limit on things doesn't it? He's about the only civilian ship we have docked right now. Everyone else is preparing for the move," Rieekan said.

Rieekan's point was the one she had been counting on and she thought it a stroke of luck that he was the one to mention it and not her. "The Captain may still be of use," she said as all eyes turned to her. "We could take the _Falcon_, as before. But this time, Chewbacca could accompany me. He didn't leave the ship the last time and I'd be less likely to get burglarized with a Wookiee at my side."

She hated insinuating that she would be safer with Chewbacca than Han, knowing that Han's ego would take a blow to hear her say it, but he would have to get over it. It was for the good of their marriage! Or to the end of it, at least!

"That would definitely work. Quick thinking, as always, Princess," Madine said.

Rieekan still looked less-than-pleased, but she would deal with him later. A few logistical comments volleyed back and forth across the table, but in the end, it was settled.

Leia leaned back in her chair, her brain unable to absorb much of anything now that she had cleared this hurdle. The High Princess of Alderaan would be traveling to Atzerri to get a quickie divorce. As her eyes roamed over the faces round the table, she wondered how all of them would react to such news as that. The disdainful glare from Mon Mothma. Shock from Madine. Confusion and perhaps hurt from Rieekan. That infamous reproach of Jan Dodonna's. She could also imagine the vultures in the holorags foaming at the mouth to get the scoop of this story. She could see the pictures scattered across the holonet of her and Han. Imagine the speculation surrounding the affair. And then there was one more look that crossed her mind. Han Solo's smirk. His cocky, arrogant, smug grin that she could see him wearing during the entire ordeal. Oh, that man! Why did it have to be that man?


	7. Chapter 7

"We're leaving in the morning."

Her voice startled Han who was engrossed in some rewiring in the circuitry bay. It took him a moment to figure out what she was talking about. "Huh?"

"Atzerri. They're sending us back to see if we can be a bit more successful on our mission this time. And while we're there we can quickly and quietly take care of our little problem."

Han winced inwardly at the way she so matter-of-factly referred to their being married as 'our little problem.' It wasn't so much that he wanted to marry that woman – for stars' sake, if he had to listen to her ordering him around on a daily basis for the rest of his life he'd take his own blaster and fire it straight through his temple – he was just not enjoying the fact that she seemed to treat this accidental marriage as the worst thing that had ever happened to her.

Or maybe it was the fact that they'd woken up together in bed. Did she believe him that nothing had happened? Did she remember anywhere near as much as he did? Maybe she was just embarrassed about how she had practically thrown herself at him. Han had been around enough mind-altering substances to know that they rarely made you feel anything artificial. Mostly they lowered inhibitions to near zero and allowed you to act on all of those little impulses that a sober person would be able to control. But was it him she really wanted, or just some physical pleasure and he was the closest one who could've given it to her?

It was all far too confusing. Maybe it would be best if he just stopped thinking about it and simply got the divorce and forgot the whole thing ever happened. "All right," he said simply. "I'll make sure we're fueled up and ready to go. Is oh-seven-hundred all right with you?"

"Yes, that will work. Chewie needs to accompany us."

He was tiring even more of the way she sometimes talked to him like some business acquaintance instead of a real person – a friend who had been through quite a few things with her. Why did she work so hard to keep her distance? What was she afraid of? And now she was telling him they needed a chaperone. "All right, I'll let him know."

She stood there looking at him as though expecting him to say something else. Probably waiting for him to make some side comment to lighten the mood, something about getting in a little more fun before their marriage was over. Or asking his wife to get to the kitchen and cook him dinner. He wasn't in the mood to joke around. She wanted to take this seriously, then he was going to take it seriously.

After a few moments of waiting she finally nodded. "Thank you." She paused again, her brown eyes searching his face for something, he wasn't sure what. "I'll see you in the morning, then." With that, she turned on her heel and disappeared down the boarding ramp.

Han spent the evening not getting much sleep. He went back and forth between thinking about how irritated he was with Her Royalness to shutting his eyes and remembering the gorgeous sight of her standing in front of him not wearing much. It would've been so easy to have given her what she wanted. She _did _want it. When did he suddenly become all noble? It was likely he'd regret missing that opportunity for the rest of his life. Was that better than giving Leia an evening _she'd _regret for the rest of her life? He wasn't sure.

The evening passed without sleep, and Han was up early to do his pre-flight checks. Leia arrived early as always, barely offering a greeting before settling in for the trip. The flight had been abnormally quiet. While the pair had often spent time arguing, they were also known on occasion to share some civil and sometimes even friendly conversations. Those instances were few and far between, but he thoroughly enjoyed when she stopped being 'the princess' and just talked to him like a regular person. Sometimes she'd even smile. He didn't get to see it often, but the woman had a gorgeous smile.

Even Chewie stayed quiet, somehow sensing that something was going on but not asking about it. It was the most uncomfortable Han had ever felt flying the _Falcon_.

They'd arrived at Atzerri without incident, and before Han could even shut down completely Leia started talking. "Chewie, we need you to stay with the _Falcon _while we go take care of a few things, all right?"

Han wondered what she might start with, given that she was typically not one to put personal matters above missions for the Rebellion. Chewie agreed, giving Han a look that told him that the Wookiee knew that something was up. Han merely shrugged as he followed Leia out of the cockpit.

Their boots barely hit the ground when she continued marching off determinedly, her little legs carrying her much faster than he'd have expected. "We have to get to the courthouse."

Han took a few long strides to catch up to her, and his impatience with her gruff behavior had reached its breaking point. "Hey, slow down a minute, will ya?"

He grabbed her arm and she shook it off as though his hand was on fire. Finally, he forcibly stopped her, grabbing both of her arms as gently as possible while still accomplishing his goal and spinning her around to face him. "Why won't you even look at me, huh? Just talk to me. I am your husband, after all."

He regretted adding that last part before he'd even finished saying it. For a second he thought he might have been getting through to her, and he blew it with six little words. One in particular.

Anger raged in her eyes. "That's the problem, Han. Right there. You think this is some big joke."

This woman grew more and more frustrating every second. He suspected it was probably like what having an actual wife would be like. "Hey, I did exactly what you asked for the most part. I haven't made any comments or cracked any jokes, just sat back and did what you wanted me to do so we could get this fixed. You could at least treat me like you usually do. It's like you don't even want to look at me. You know this whole thing isn't my fault."

Visibly taken aback, she was silent for a moment before she went to speak, but Han cut her off. "And I'm not sayin' it's your fault, either. It was all just a big mistake. That's it. It's not something we have to live with forever. Stop acting like being married to me according to a piece of paper in some way has made your life a living hell."

The anger on her face very slowly dissipated as he stared her down. He only wanted to make sure she didn't think he was the worst person in the universe she could've wound up married to. She looked down for a minute, then back up at him before she nodded. "All right."

He'd been hoping for an apology, or if he was really getting greedy maybe even some humorous remark. But just the fact that she'd look at him again and wasn't fighting with him anymore was enough for now.

He let go of her arm, only just now realizing that he was still holding it. "All right. Then let's go to that courthouse."


	8. Chapter 8

**_The following chapter was written by ShouldIGetOutandPush_**

After an interminably long wait in line, Han and Leia made it to the courthouse clerk. As they waited, Leia reminded Han that he should let her do the talking. For once, her request didn't earn them an argument but only because she let his comment about bureaucrats and red tape slide by un-protested.

The woman behind the counter was middle-aged with a plump face and seasoned eyes. She wore too much makeup and gaudy jewelry, and sparkly things adorned nearly every centim of her. The clerks were lined up like bank tellers with what looked like blaster-proof glass between them and those who waited to see them. A small part of Leia understood why, because if someone didn't undo this thing, she was ready to shoot them herself.

Leia pushed the datacard under the slot in the window. "I want to take care of this," she said abruptly. So much for her years of diplomacy training.

The woman looked at Han and Leia from beneath her lashes as she entered the proffered datacard into her system and studied the display. "You do, huh?" She asked with what Leia was sure was a hint of amusement.

"Yes, as quickly as possible," Leia replied.

"When you say take care of…," the woman trailed off, the datacard forgotten and her eyes suddenly transfixed on Han.

"I mean dissolve it. End it. Erase it from our records, if at all possible," Leia replied hotly.

The woman's eyes meandered over toward Leia as she leaned forward, elbows on the counter, her face nearly pressed to the glass that separated her from them and every other miscreant that filled the crowded waiting room. "You sure about that, sweetie?" She asked and then as her head hitched toward Han she added, "He don't look like the kind I'd throw back, if you know what I mean."

Leia's face burned with a mixture of anger and embarrassment. Han, for his part, did not say a word. Just as she had instructed. But the expression on his face was one Leia would not soon forget.

The woman seemed pleased with the reaction she had coaxed out of Leia. Leaning back in her chair an air of professionalism glided over her as she recited a well-worn speech about the sanctity of marriage and the planet Atzerri's stand on it.

"I fully agree on the sanctity of the institution, but…," Leia fumbled for the right words. "We weren't…ourselves," she finally supplied under a mumbled breath.

The woman shed her professional persona and let a wicked grin slide across her face. "Who were you, then, missy? I wonder."

"Look," Leia started, leaning against the glass as if she might punch her way through it. And then Han was in front of her, his arm leaning up against the counter, his best roguish grin plastered across his face and she heard that low octave note to his voice that did things that even Leia couldn't deny.

"Dontcha think you could flip a few switches and punch a few buttons and get this all taken care of for us?" He asked sweetly as he waved his finger through the air.

Leia watched the clerk melt in front of her eyes and had to control the violent urge she had to vomit all over her.

"Wellll," the clerk drawled. "I _could_ swap _my_ name for hers and no one would be the wiser."

Leia suppressed a guffaw as she watched Han's face turn three different colors. "Well," he started backpedaling as he drew away from the window.

"Other than that," the woman replied lightly but then grew deadly serious, "You'll have to go through the proper channels like everybody else."

"And just what _are_ the proper channels?" Leia asked with a heavy sigh. Something told her this wasn't going to be pleasant.

"A one year separation, verified by at least three witnesses after said year, in person, at this courthouse," the clerk retorted.

Leia felt her jaw, her heart, her stomach and many other parts of her anatomy drop down to the floor.

"_Or_," the clerk continued.

_Oh, thank the goddess there's an 'or'!_

"You can attend our marital counseling seminar and if you still wish to absolve your marriage after successfully, or unsuccessfully as it were, completing the course, you can obtain immediate expungency of said marriage."

"Great!" Leia said, relieved. "We want that one." And with that the clerk began to punch a few buttons on her terminal.

"Not so fast," Han replied, grabbing Leia's arm. Then he looked at the clerk, "Just what does this _seminar_ entail?"

The last of Leia's patience was quickly dissolving away and she had a hard time imagining just what Han could be so worried about. They were getting this divorce if it killed her, or if she killed him. Either way, she was leaving Atzerri a single woman.

"You and your _betrothed_," the clerk said the word as if it were dirty and looked at Leia as if she would just as soon run her over with a hover car, "attend a series of appointments and exercises with our various counselors to try and salvage your marriage."

"What sort of exercises?" Han and Leia asked in unison and then glanced at each other uncomfortably.

"We're not _that_ kind of planet," the woman replied flatly as she removed their datacard from her system. "The exercises are meant to build or repair the trust and communication now absent in your relationship."

"But there's nothing to repair. That's what I've been trying to tell you. Are you sure there's no way around this?" Leia asked desperately.

"Positive," the woman spat and then pushing the datacard back under the window added, "Details are on your datacard. Have a nice day."


	9. Chapter 9

It shouldn't have been particularly surprising to Han that Leia was still furious. There were a few different ways in which Leia expressed anger. First, and most obvious, was when she enjoyed yelling at whomever it was that had made her angry. This could entail frustrated annoyance or near-screaming, depending on the severity of the infraction. Han rather enjoyed riling her up to different degrees of irate behavior; he later realized not so much because he liked making her mad, but rather he just liked seeing evidence that she could actually feel anything. He sure as hell couldn't get her to admit she liked him at all, or anyone else for that matter, so he might as well irritate her if that was the only way to garner some sort of reaction.

The second way, which was being demonstrated now, was total silence. Han had been around her enough to be able to notice the tension on her face while she no-doubt seethed below the surface of that icy exterior. Her teeth had been clenched so hard her jaw probably hurt. He'd somehow managed to pry the datacard out of her iron grip as she balled her fists tightly, likely digging her fingernails deeply into the palms of her hands.

To be fair, Han wasn't thrilled about the idea of a marriage counseling retreat either, but he had been on all kinds of planets and they all had their own sets of rules and in his experience you were always better off to just do what they said if you were to get what you wanted. He could think of worse things they'd make them do if they were to banish this 'marriage' from their records. He knew of one or two planets where the husband was put to death. Knowing Leia, she probably would've preferred that option. It would've been much less painful… for her.

Leia marched her short legs determinedly back to the _Falcon _and Han actually had a hard time catching up while he tried to read the specifics of what this counseling would entail. Gods, why didn't the woman have a sense of humor about this? He could think of dozens of things he wanted to say to rile her up even further. Unfortunately, he could tell that she was so close to the boiling point that one wrong remark and she'd be widowed a lot quicker than she'd have to wait to be divorced.

So for now, he had to be practical. "All right, Leia, this isn't so bad. It's a pretty lengthy session but I'm sure in that amount of time we can convince them that we can't stand each other and shouldn't be married."

She stopped on the sidewalk, pretending to look in the window of a local shop. "Good. How long will it take?"

"Uh… a month."

"A _month_?!"

Han could've sworn that anyone within a kilometer radius jumped at her startled reply. "Yeah, that's what it says. Would you rather we stayed together for a year? Don't forget, we had that option, we can walk right on over there and change our minds."

She looked beyond frustrated, and Han knew the feeling – though for different reasons. "Fine. Let's just get this thing over with and never speak of it again. Wait, how are we going to stay here for a month? They're expecting us back in a few days."

"Good question." At least she was starting to talk rationally. "Maybe we can convince 'em that we're working on some other credits we might be able to get our hands on but it's going to take some extensive intel work."

Leia heaved a sigh. "Maybe. But I don't want to lie to them."

"Forgive me for being the one to bring this up, sweetheart, but you're already lying to them."

"That's different. We're actually going to do what we said we were going to do, we just happened to have some personal business to attend to while we were here."

"I don't see a lot of difference. Actually, the bigger problem now is that I think we're gonna have to tell Chewie."

Her eyes got wide and he was once again more than slightly insulted at how horrified she was at the fact that they were married and that someone might actually find out about it. "Come on, sweetheart. You know he's just gonna keep asking questions. And he's the most loyal being you're ever gonna meet in your life. We can trust him with anything." _Can't trust him not to make jokes and find the whole thing incredibly amusing, though…_

She gave him that annoyed look that told him she knew he was right, and she hated that. "Fine. But I swear, Solo, if anyone else finds out…"

"Hey, will you stop it? You've been angry with me since this happened and I haven't made any of the kinds of remarks you would've expected, have I? I'm gettin' a little tired of tiptoeing around you like you can't handle a slightly uncomfortable situation. If you don't stop acting like this then I'm actually going to give you a reason to be mad at me."

She snatched the data card out of his hand and said tightly, "Fine. So when does this nonsense start?"

Han swallowed, slightly relieved that she had backed down but not quite ready to believe she had calmed down completely. "Tomorrow."

"How convenient," she said sarcastically. "So we go talk to these therapists all day and see if they can save our marriage?"

"That seems to be the gist, yeah. There's some group stuff with other couples, it looks like."

"Oh, that will be fun. We can see if we can win the least likely to stay together award."

Han thought he saw a hint of a smile on her face at her almost-humorous remark. "I think we've got that one locked, Princess."

"No problem," she agreed as her brown eyes finally met his. Yes, she was definitely starting to come around. "I'll just tell them how you constantly tease and berate me, and you never call me by my real name."

"Well, maybe I can tell 'em, Your Worshipfulness, how you call me names and talk down to me like some sort of subordinate."

"Well, maybe if you acted like a respectable human being I'd treat you like one."

"Oh, yeah? Well-"

She cut him off. "I think we should save our arguments for when we have an audience."

He hated when she got the last word. At least this would give him some time to come up with a few more suitable insults. Maybe this therapy thing would be kind of fun. Might give him a chance to say all the things he'd wanted to say and have a professional confirm his innate belief that the woman was completely out of her mind.

"Let's get back to the ship," Han said, signaling for her to follow as he started walking again. "We've got to break the news to Chewie."


	10. Chapter 10

**_The following chapter was written by ShouldIGetOutandPush_**

Her eyes tracked from the Wookiee to Han and back. Spotting a sham from a parsec away wasn't that difficult for her. She wasn't a politician for nothing. "You knew already, didn't you?" She glared at Chewbacca, silently daring him to question her assertion.

She got a series of hoots, growls and howls in return as the Wookiee stood and began waving his arms around and pacing.

She turned to Han, who had his hand over his mouth like he liked to do when he found something both amusing and annoying at the same time. He was watching his co-pilot and it took his hazel eyes several heartbeats to finally turn their attention to her.

"What?" He replied, throwing his arms up in the air and standing as Chewbacca finally left the room, a trail of grunts and snorts following behind him. "Fine," Han finally said. "I told him already. Is that what you want to hear?"

She drew in a deep breath. It seemed dealing with Han Solo was a great way to hone her diplomatic skills.

"Chewie and I are partners, alright?" He continued before she could begin to say anything. "There ain't much I could hide from him, even if I wanted to." She watched as he suddenly turned sheepish, something she couldn't recall having an occasion to see before this. "And I usually don't…want to, that is," he continued. He caught her staring at him and he shrugged off the shy awkwardness, quickly replacing it with his usual bravado. Spine straightening and chin tilted up, he continued, "And I told him. Back on base. The first day. And if you want to go and be mad about that, then-"

"I'm not mad," she said softly. And like him she shed her foul mood. In fact, she couldn't recall why she had been bothered about telling Chewie anyway. With that self-induced obstacle out of the way, she found her thoughts focused on other things. Anger was, in fact, a wasted emotion that clouded the mind. Her father had taught her that, or at least tried his very darnedest to until his dying day.

"You're not?" Han's voice seemed to come out of nowhere. She had forgotten that they were still in mid-conversation.

"No, I'm not," she replied with a heavy sigh as she stood and wiped her hands on her trousers as if she were wiping the entire ordeal away. "You had every right to tell him. He's your partner," she stated, her eyes looking into his. His eyes studying hers. She could tell he was trying furiously to figure her out. Silently, she wished him just a little bit of luck. Maybe if someone could figure her out then they could clue her in on some things. Like why all of a sudden she felt like crying.

Concern filled the cocky smuggler's eyes. "Are you alright?"

She blinked and then wondered at, and not for the first time, how dangerously close he seemed to get to understanding her. "I'm fine," she said. "I think I'll go and freshen up before dinner." And with that she turned and left, halfway hearing Han mumble something about Alliance rations, Corellian food and preparing to be impressed.

The door to the captain's quarters swooshed closed behind her and she let the weight of her body fall back against it. Her shoulders were first to make contact with the cool metal and then, with a dull thud, she let her head drop back as she shut her eyes. It had been a long day and she let the stress of the day's events slide off of her, mentally visualizing it dripping out off of her fingertips and splashing on the floor.

They had a plan now. Although the month long retreat wasn't something that was expected, at least now she knew what they were dealing with. She functioned much better when she had a problem to solve. Uncertainty and ambiguity were her enemies just as much as the Empire. Present to her the facts of any issue, even if at seemingly insurmountable odds, and that was where Princess Leia would excel.

Where she didn't excel was at matters of the heart. Not love and not with Han Solo, of course not. That was preposterous. But since Alderaan…since that fateful day and to some extent maybe her entire life, she had struggled with friendship and trust. Maybe that was why the loss of her father had been so extremely emotionally crippling. He had been the only one that she truly, blindly trusted. When one is not only royalty but also covertly subverting the seated government, it is hard to know who to trust.

Of course there were others. A handful. Winter. Carlist. And more who had met her father's same fate. She clucked her tongue against the roof of her mouth and hissed a disparaging remark under her breath. Why was she traveling down this path now? She had learned, the hard way, that wallowing in those memories was a dangerous, fruitless exercise. She shut her eyes. So just what had set her off?

_Oh, maybe the fact that Han Solo has someone and you don't?_

Her eyes opened, widening at the realization as she stepped away from the door and shook her head from those thoughts. Lots of people _have someone,_ she told herself. _When has that ever bothered you?_ It hadn't, not this intensely anyway. But when Han began to talk about Chewie being his partner and telling him everything, something definitely twisted inside of her. Something like whenever she had the occasion to see a father and daughter together on the streets of some nameless planet, reminding her of something she would never have again. But then, this was different. This seemed to be specifically about Han, about being someone that _he_ would trust unconditionally and confide in without fail.

She stepped into the 'fresher, stood before the basin and began to splash water on her face. Looking into the mirror, hazed with age, she stared into her own eyes. For all of his faults, she was friends with Han. She knew that he trusted her on some level and confided in her about most things. And if pressed, she would admit the same about him. But that twinge in the pit in her stomach, wasn't over wanting to be his friend. She wondered what it would feel like for Han to stand up to someone in defense of his relationship with her as he had done just now regarding Chewbacca. How it would feel to know that _she_ had put the fire into those hazel eyes and the rumble behind his voice.

She slammed her hands against the basin, digging her fingernails into the unyielding ceramic and squeezing her eyes tightly shut. _Now is not the time for this!_


	11. Chapter 11

Dinner had proven to be surprisingly uneventful given the sudden turn of events. Leia had seemed more civil than Han could remember her being since this whole ordeal had started. They'd talked about anything aside from their 'marriage' or the war that would continue without them while they would be stuck trying to convince some counselor that they did not belong together.

Han laughed to himself, wondering if it could possibly take an entire month for anyone to know for certain that he and Leia could not be husband and wife. He'd have to see if anyone had ever been dismissed early from the program. Any sane person would be able to tell that for their own personal safety their marriage needed to be dissolved as quickly as possible.

While spending all of this time with Leia talking about their non-existent relationship wasn't Han's first choice, he had to admit that it sure beat hanging around with the Rebels in constant fear that the Empire could show up and obliterate them all at any moment. Sure, he might miss flying the _Falcon _for a little while, but keeping her docked might give him some time to fix up a few things he'd been putting off that required excessive idle time that up until now he hadn't had.

With those thoughts in mind, Han slept surprisingly well that night. While he never liked the idea of some counselor trying to tell him how he should 'feel' and spending the next several weeks playing ridiculous games designed to keep a loving couple from making a mistake, he wasn't really anxious or worried about what the experience would entail. Just about anything beat being shot at.

He awakened feeling well rested and almost having forgotten what he had to do that day. Opting to let Leia sleep a bit longer – if that was in fact why she hadn't yet emerged from her bunk – he made his way to the galley to fix up a quick breakfast. He could still hear Chewie snoring loudly, the Wookiee knowing full well that he had the day to himself and there was no reason to get an early start. And in the middle of his first sip of caf he looked up to see a tired-looking princess.

"Good morning," he said casually, not entirely sure what sort of mood to expect from her.

"Hi," she replied indifferently. Her hair was meticulously wrapped in a crown of braids on top of her head and she was dressed simply in black pants tucked into equally black boots, a white button-down blouse adorning her upper half. He noted, not for the first time, that she could make the simplest outfits look good.

_None of that, Solo. You gotta spend the next month making sure how evident it is that you can't stand this woman. _"You hungry?"

She shrugged. "I'll just have some caf." Without another word she went and poured herself a cup before sitting across the table from Han. After a few moments of near silence, the exception being the sound of Han chewing his breakfast, Leia spoke again. "So, today should be… interesting."

Han arched his eyebrow, surprised that she was choosing to bring it up. "Yeah. How long do you think it will take for us to prove to them they need to grant us a divorce?"

"I'm not sure," she said, looking down while her fingers absently played with the warm mug of caf on the table in front of her. "They take the sanctity of marriage pretty seriously around here."

"Yeah, well, they obviously need to have a less liberal policy on the distribution of marriage licenses if that's how they feel about it. Prevent people from making any rash and/or drunken decisions."

He caught a hint of a smile from her, which caused him to display a full-wattage grin. He caught himself just before she looked up at him.

"Just do me a favor and try not to make me look too bad, all right?" Leia joked.

"Only if you promise the same."

"Yes, well, whatever horrible things I say about you will be true. You'll just start to make things up in order to make me look like the bad guy here."

"Well, you _are _the bad guy, aren't you? I mean, if it were up to me, we'd just stay married." He'd said it as a joke, but for a brief moment he wondered if he wasn't kidding.

"No, you want out just as badly as I do."

Han hesitated before answering. "Right, sure." He glanced at his chrono. "I think it's time to go, Mrs. Solo."

She had started to get up and stopped immediately upon hearing him say "Mrs. Solo" but it seemed her sense of humor had returned because instead of being angry, she looked up at him with a smirk on her face. "Don't get too used to saying that. I know you only married me for my money."

"Who says I need your money? I got plenty of my own."

They began walking down the ramp. "Really? You could've fooled me. Wasn't that duct tape I saw holding the thermal exhaust port together?"

"All right, all right," he said as they walked. "Save it until we have an audience."

And with that, the Solos headed for their first day of marriage counseling.


	12. Chapter 12

**_The following chapter was written by ShouldIGetOutandPush_**

Han Solo stared at the blank piece of flimsiplast. Never before had something so innocuous felt so entirely intimidating to him. He and Leia had reported to their first day of 'couple's counseling'. After being quickly introduced to several other couples, the pairs were told to write down one positive thing that would come out of them saving their marriages and staying together. There had been arguments and some scuffles, but in the end, all finally acquiesced and were now silently saddled with the task.

Han looked around the room, finding comfort in staring at anything but the blank piece of flimsi. His palms were sweating and he had to constantly fidget in his chair. Each glance at Leia only made him more nervous; she had quickly written something down and was now staring at him curiously with that mixture of impatience and curiosity that she mastered so well. Before their arrival this morning, he had been sure that he was prepared for anything this experience might bring. Of course, he hadn't envisioned this. Now thinking on it, he couldn't even recall what he had envisioned. He glanced at Leia once again. Kreff!

He had, of course, thought of several flippant answers that he could write down that would probably gain him a good laugh from around the room. But that look from Leia discouraged him from exploring that path. Curiously, he hadn't found it that hard to come up with some endearing examples as well, but then he quickly dismissed those not enjoying the idea of somehow being vulnerable to Leia's scrutiny. Vulnerable. That was it. That was the feeling that had curled up in his innards and made itself at home. Han was an expert at dealing with lying, cheating and most anything that could be settled with a blaster bolt. But this was unchartered territory. How could he keep his dignity while not incurring the wrath that was the petite Princess seated next to him?

What he needed was a mixture of the mildly flippant and yet cautiously endearing, something that wouldn't anger her but at the same time wouldn't wound his pride. He had thought that in the past he had been walking a razor thin line with her. As a bead of sweat rolled down the side of his face, he realized that all of that paled in comparison to this new experience.

"Alright, time's up," the Counselor, who had introduced herself as Ava Klounic, announced as she began to walk around the room and gather up the flimsis.

Han panicked, the only thing that was more distracting than his own beating heart was the feel of Leia's stare boring into him. Quickly he scribbled something down that he hoped no one would be able to decipher and then handed it over to the passing counselor. Breath, sweet breath, finally returned to his lungs and he collapsed back into his chair as if he had just finished wrestling a Rancor.

"Are you alright?" Leia whispered out the side of her mouth.

Han kept his eyes straight ahead, too exhausted to meet her eyes. "Just perfect," he grumbled. "You?"

Before she could answer, the Counselor began, "I will now read the submissions out loud. Everyone may feel free to claim the answers as their own or as something they think their spouse would say. I will not force any one of you to own up to your entry. This is meant to be a thought-provoking exercise and I ask that everyone remain civil."

"I just want this to be over," Leia whispered back. If she had noticed Han's tone, she hadn't felt the need to comment on it.

"Princess, for once, you won't get any arguments from me," he whispered back, his mood lifting slightly.

The Counselor eyed the crowd with a look of warning, Leia and Han hadn't been the only ones whispering to each other. When she seemed satisfied she uncrumpled the first piece of flimsi and said, "Let's begin." Ava paused for a moment as she seemed to absorb what she was about to read. She took a moment to survey the audience and then, as if gathering up her wits, she squared her shoulders and read, "If my spouse and I were to stay together I would have more opportunities to try and kill them. Or to, at the very least, hire professional help."

A wave of laughter rippled through the room as everyone glanced around at one another, searching for the guilty party. A few couples began bickering and elbowing one another. While a Twi'lek couple, who had been especially vocal, actually came to serious blows. Han hadn't paid much attention during introductions, but by the time he, the Counselor and a few other males, had pried this couple apart, he had memorized their names: Jaxxy and Ferran Mourasend. Jaxxy, a former dancer, and Ferran, a small business owner, now sat on opposite sides of the room.

Han returned to his seat and as he did so, mumbled in Leia's ear, "And I thought we would be at the head of the class. That might not be so easy with this crowd."

Leia nodded her head at Han in resigned agreement. He was right. Some of these people genuinely hated each other and for all their disagreements and differences, she and Han didn't hate each other. For the first time she worried that this was going to be harder than she had anticipated or envisioned. And she had never thought it was going to be easy.

The Counselor raised her hands, and then her voice, in order to gain back control of the room. When everyone had settled down, she said, "Wanting to kill your spouse suggests that you do not wish them to live without you. In my experience, this submission could easily be translated to: I cannot bear the thought of you living without me by your side. Or, I'd rather see you dead then with someone else besides me." The last of the fighting and snickering quelled and everyone fidgeted nervously. "Anyone care to own up to this or take a guess at who may have written it?" The counselor pressed.

The room remained silent. Han and Leia exchanged a pointed stare. Leia knew that it was not hers and she highly suspected that is was not Han's either. But she couldn't be entirely certain. After all, they were trying to convince everyone that they hated each other.

After several more failed attempts, the Counselor moved on without anyone ever claiming that first comment. The next entry did not get any better as the Counselor read it to the class, "I would at least know for certain that my life could not get any worse."

Once again the room erupted with a mixture of laughter and noxious insults. This time the Counselor got everyone back in line before any swings were taken. She once again pressed for someone to claim the comment. Leia noticed that she hadn't tried to put a positive spin on this particular statement. For the first time, the young woman appeared exasperated. Leia had to give her credit for lasting that long. "I'm hesitant to move on while two statements remain unclaimed. Does not anyone in this room have the courage to claim their own words?"

Leia watched as the ripple effect from that statement traveled across the room. In addition to the proud Corellian that sat next to her, there were some very diverse species present in the room - and one was more arrogant than the next. Finally, a very scary-looking Devronian laid claim to the words. In watching how his spouse reacted, Leia thought that the female was impressed more than anything by her husband's admission.

The Counselor nodded her thanks to the male Devronian and then addressed the class. "Never. The best. The worst. Always. Absolute certainty in something. Has that ever panned out for any of you? There's a reason that sayings become famous. Never say never. You don't know what you have until it's gone." Counselor Ava Klounic paused. "That's what those words make me think of," she finally said and you could hear a pin drop in the room.

Leia wondered how she could so often find herself in over her head.

The next few entries consisted of comments such as "We could keep the house" and "I wouldn't have to date again" and they were quickly guessed and all eventually claimed. Ava then read this, "If we can manage not to kill each other, our lives will at least never be dull."

That was Leia's comment. Her body stiffened in recognition and, as all eyes searched the room, she felt as if she had a beacon blinking brightly over her head.

"Keeping things interesting," the Counselor spoke into the silence. "That's actually one of my golden rules of happiness. Anyone care to guess?"

A few males in the room threw out guesses for their significant others, but Han Solo remained silent. She wondered if he suspected and just didn't want to talk, or if he was totally clueless that it was hers. She had felt that the comment was innocent enough. Truthful but not too revealing. But now that it was out there, she felt an unexpected vulnerability as she contemplated claiming it.

The Counselor's eyes tracked around the room once again before she folded up the piece of flimsiplast and said, "Okay, we'll move-"

"That was mine," Leia blurted out and immediately felt a warmth travel up her neck and face.

"Good, good," the Counselor smiled warmly as she turned to Leia. "And how does that comment make you feel," she asked, speaking to Han.

"Uh, it uh...," Han sputtered as he shifted in his seat.

Leia bit her lip and held her breath. Waiting to find out what might come out of Han Solo's mouth was never a pleasant task.

"It uh, makes me realize that maybe the fighting ain't all that bad," Han finally finished.

Leia's face blanched. What was he doing? They were supposed to be working on getting drummed out of here, not mending their fake relationship. What was he thinking? Did he mean what he had said or was he just playing the game, albeit wrongly? She couldn't bring herself to look at him. Either he had lost track of their objective, which seemed highly unlikely, or he was being honest and...well, she didn't even know what that meant.

The Counselor ran through few more comments, each finding its owner. Finally, she was on the last piece of flimsiplast and the only two people that hadn't claimed what they had written were Han and a male Sarkhai. Which meant that either this next comment was Han's, or that first comment had been. Leia straightened up in anticipation. The Counselor read the note, "I can spend the rest of my life wondering what I did to deserve her." The Counselor paused and eyed the room. "Well, that can be taken in more than one context. Any guesses?"

Leia once again felt the heat rising up her neck and face. The Counselor was right, in one context that comment could be a huge insult, but in another it could be a gigantic compliment. She felt sure that it must be Han's but then couldn't stop an inkling of doubt that it wasn't. If it was his she wondered if he had realized what he was doing when he had written it. Even she had tried to remain ambiguous with her comment, although she hadn't quite succeeded in the way this comment had. She glanced at him, but his eyes remained trained on the Counselor.

Leia shook her head. It wouldn't have been the first time that she had underestimated Han's mental agility. In this verbal volley game that they continued to play - if someone had been keeping score - she felt sure that they would have to be in a close tie. And if she was entirely honest with herself, she might even admit that Han could actually be in the lead. After all, finding a decent opponent was what kept the game interesting, wasn't it?

There was some discussion around the room, mostly light-hearted as everyone's spirits began to lift knowing the session was coming to a close. Leia felt her own mood changing as she prepared to switch gears from being Mrs. Han Solo, disgruntled wife, to Leia Organa...whoever she was.

In the end, no one ever claimed the comment, making perfect orphaned bookends of the first and the last. The Counselor urged everyone to discuss what they had experienced both good and bad and wished everyone an interesting evening. And the class was dismissed.

Leia let Han lead her out of the room, never once brave enough to meet his eyes. The fact that this first class, and this simple exercise, had felt so revealing and left them feeling so awkward weighed heavily on Leia. She wondered how they would fair several more weeks and just how uncomfortable the entire experience might get...


	13. Chapter 13

The tension weighed heavily as Han and Leia made it back to the _Falcon_, neither speaking the entire time. They both seemed to be trying to blame the silence on being tired from the day, but nobody was being fooled. Leia hoped that their arrival back on the ship would help with the distraction of a Wookiee, but instead, he only served to remind them of what they had just experienced.

[Did you fight enough to be let off the hook early?] Chewie asked as soon as he saw them enter the lounge.

"Nah," Han shrugged off. "Turns out there was a couple there that was a lot more violent than we are. Say what you will about us, but we never started taking swings at one another."

Thank the gods for that, Leia thought. Han continued relaying the story while Leia made her way back to the cabin to lie down for a bit. Why did Han have to make things so difficult? It should've been easy for them to go through this counseling and prove to these people that they did not belong together. How was it that they could spend so much time fighting except when it mattered?

She shut her eyes, trying not to think about the implications of what Han had probably written during the counseling session. Why couldn't he just hate her? After spending some time with an arm thrown across her face, she wasn't sure how much time had passed or whether or not she'd fallen asleep when she later heard Chewie call her to dinner.

The meal had been quiet and uncomfortable, and Leia decided to go to bed early rather than risk conversation, because who knew what might come out? After sleeping soundly and dreaming of nothing, the awkwardness continued into the next morning when they made their way back to counseling.

On the second day, each couple was called in privately while the others stayed and discussed family histories. The day had been fairly uneventful until it was Han and Leia's turn to get called in.

They sat across from the counselor, her eyes soft and kind and yet somehow distant. Leia wondered if the woman truly cared about getting these couples back together or if she simply did it because it was her job. And as Leia sat she realized that she and Han hadn't made eye contact yet that day.

"Now," Ava began, her voice as calm and cool as ever, "I bring the couples in here individually for this part, at least initially, because we are going to talk about intimacy."

Leia felt her stomach churn. How, exactly, were they going to tackle this? And how had she not already thought that it would come up? Sex was, after all, a rather large part of marriage. Or at least she thought it was. How would she know? She sensed Han shifting uncomfortably in the seat beside her. This could get interesting.

The counselor continued. "Being intimate is very important for a husband and wife. Usually if the couple is not being intimate, it is a symptom of other issues in the marriage, especially when you're talking about newlyweds, who usually spend the most time in the bedroom. So, how have things been in that regard?"

At least it was an open ended question. Or, maybe that would make things worse…

"She's not really into it," Han said before Leia even had a chance to contemplate a response. She wasn't sure what she was expecting him to say, but somehow she knew she wasn't expecting that. Yet somehow she didn't like how it made her sound like the villain in this scenario.

"How do you feel about that?" Ava said, turning to Leia.

How was she supposed to answer? The point of this was to argue a lot, but to argue would be to deny that what he had said was true. And then what, was she supposed to say that she enjoyed having sex with him? Gods, why did they have to get themselves into this ridiculous situation?

"I…" Leia started, only partially making eye contact with the counselor, "I'd say that's accurate, yes." Sure, not into it at all. There's no way she'd ever be into that with him.

"Any reason you think that might be? Have you suffered any sexual traumas in your past?"

Did complete lack of sex count as trauma? Probably not. She shook her head. "No. He just… doesn't really do anything for me."

She felt the heat rising in her face, and out of the corner of her eye she could see Han sit up a bit straighter. Even if she was simply making this up as she went along she knew Han wasn't going to like that answer. "Don't do anything for you? Maybe if you loosened up a little you'd enjoy it a little more. I never had any complaints before you, sweetheart" he said defensively.

"Now, Mr. Solo," Ava began. "Let's keep calm. This needs to be a safe environment for both of you to share your feelings." She turned back to Leia. "Mrs. Solo, has this always been a problem or have you found yourself able to open up sexually in the past?"

Oh, gods. This was like some sort of nightmare. Why did she have to spell out her private matters in front of Han of all people? "I… there wasn't anyone else in my past." Why didn't she just lie? Why didn't she invent a well endowed, star athlete ex boyfriend with a body of transparisteel who would passionately make love to her night after night and had left her in a near constant orgasmic haze but then he died in a tragic accident and no man would ever live up to him? Too late for that one.

"I see," Ava replied. "Now, typically a woman especially forms a very strong bond with the man she has her first sexual experience with. But this can be difficult if you have any reservations or don't feel that you can truly trust your partner with your sexuality."

She suddenly felt like she was sweating. This was ridiculous. They were simply role playing in this scenario. Time to try something different. "Well, I try to trust him. And I've been open to trying, but he doesn't satisfy me. I have no need for two minutes of lovemaking now and then."

She could almost hear Han's teeth grinding next to her. What did he expect? The whole point of this was to get out of the marriage. It seemed that it would be more difficult to prove they didn't belong together if they were having passionate sex on a regular basis. Gods, suddenly she had an image of a very naked and sweaty Han on top of her, doing things to her she could only pretend to know how they felt. _Stop it. Stop it! What were we talking about?_

Somehow still remaining completely indifferent to the situation, Ava spoke up again. "Now, is this something you have communicated to him or did you simply respond by holding back on intimacy."

Leia sort of shrugged and Han sat up and spoke. "She doesn't like to talk about this kind of stuff. Maybe if she told me what she wanted she'd get to see what she's missing out on."

"So, then how do you feel about that?" the counselor asked Han. Leia was getting tired of all of these questions about feelings.

"How do I feel? Look, I'd love to get her to open up sexually, but she's so damn uptight."

"Does she arouse you sexually?"

This had to be the most surreal experience Leia had ever been in the middle of. Han remained on task. "She used to," he began. "But then it started to feel like sex with a blow-up doll would be more responsive."

"Well, you would know," Leia retorted, unsure if she was truly angry with his responses or if she was simply playing the part of the disgruntled wife. She briefly contemplated making some sort of disparaging remarks about the size of his manhood but she feared what sort of retaliatory tactics she might endure.

"Now what about you?" the counselor said to Leia.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, does your husband arouse you sexually? Do you find yourself physically attracted to him?"

_No! Gods, no. He's repulsive. I feel nothing for him. I can't even look at his ugly face with his crooked nose… _She turned to look at him, his eyes on her expectantly. It was as though she'd forgotten how handsome he was. She spent so much time focusing on the unpleasant words coming out of his mouth that she was far more capable of not being distracted by his looks. Truth be told, she was becoming more and more attracted to him every day. When she'd awakened in that bed with him, it was because her inhibitions had been lowered. The drugs did not manufacture feelings. Somewhere deep down, she did want him. He made her feel things she didn't know she was capable of feeling. But the point of this exercise was to break up a 'marriage' not to regain their lost lust for one another.

"I guess I was at one point. I wouldn't have married him otherwise, right? We just don't seem to have any chemistry in the bedroom." There, she always heard people saying things about chemistry. That seemed vague enough. Even if truthfully she'd known for a long time that she and Han had great chemistry, even if it wasn't quite sexual. What was it, then?

"Well," Han interjected, "maybe if you gave me a little more of a chance you would see just what kind of chemistry we might have."

Turning to look at him, she saw his hazel eyes looking at her quite seriously. Once again she was unsure whether or not he was playing his part or being serious.

"Is that something you desire, Mr. Solo?"

Han turned to look at Ava and nodded. "Yeah."

Leia wasn't sure quite how they had completely lost sight of what they were supposed to do while going through this counseling. Why couldn't Han have just told her that he found her repulsive and let that be the end of it?

"How often are you intimate?"

The question was directed at both of them, but Han spoke up immediately. "Almost never."

"All right, then. I'm going to make a suggestion to the two of you. I realize this can be difficult when you're not feeling connected, but I would like you to consider an evening of intimacy. Do whatever you usually do to set the mood, be open and honest and trusting with each other. The key here is communication. These encounters are supposed to be pleasant for both of you, and bring you closer together. I know this may be difficult given your recent history, but I do hope you'll consider it and let me know how it went when you do. If there's nothing else for now, I think we're done here and you can send in the next couple."

Leia felt the air escape her lungs. That was perhaps the most uncomfortable conversation she'd ever been involved in. Gods, this entire experience was supposed to be a piece of cake. Go in, fight like they normally did and prove that they could not be married. Why was she allowing herself to think so damn much? Especially when it involved thinking about having sex with Han.

They exited the room in silence, and Leia partly suspected that Han might start goading her with how soon they would get to completing the counselor's 'assignment' but he felt more distant than ever.

No, this wasn't going to be nearly as easy as she thought.


	14. Chapter 14

**_The following chapter was written by ShouldIGetOutandPush_**

They walked in silence. Han couldn't help but go over the entire conversation again and again in his mind. He couldn't recall ever seeing Leia so...frazzled. They should've practiced some answers for questions like those. What had they been thinking? This was only day two, it could only get worse from here. Taking a deep breath, he decided to try and talk to her. "Look-"

"I don't want to talk about it."

She used a tone that he recognized easily. It was a tone that might usually have him saying something belligerent and walking away. But not today. He pressed on. "I don't think-"

"I _said_, I don't want to talk about it."

He got that same tone, only now it was combined with crossed arms and bit of blush creeping up her neck. How were they ever going to get through days or maybe even weeks of this? Maybe he should just let it go. No, no matter what, he decided, he would have to push forward. "We're gonna have to talk about this eventually, sweet-"

"Fine," she said, stopping and turning around to face him. "Why don't we start with what the hell is wrong with you?"

Han drew back. _"Me?"_

"Yeah, you," she said, pointing her finger at him just to be clear. "Why do you seem to be so...confused in there? Have you forgotten that we're supposed to be lying? Or _are_ you lying? I'd swear on the first day that you-"

"You're right, let's not talk about it." Han turned forward and began walking again.

"Oh, no you don't. You wanted to talk about this so badly. Let's talk about it. Where has your head been?"

Han continued walking as she followed him, goading him to respond. His mind raced with things to say, the right things to say, the kind of things he would've said back before this whole thing started. Those harmless little lies that they so easily batted back and forth between each other. But they were so far removed from the people they had been back then, nothing but the truth seemed fitting at that moment. He stopped walking and turned to her. "I know how to lie, sweetheart. And I haven't forgotten what we're _supposed_ to be doing, but it's just really hard to lie when you don't know what the truth is."

His answer seemed to give her pause and they stood staring at each other for a moment as her brain processed his words. He watched the familiar emotion-free veil slide across her face. "I don't know what you mean."

"That," he spat back, pointing at her mouth like the guilty party. "Do you ever get tired of telling _that_ lie?"

"Maybe we were both right," she said, looking frazzled again. "We shouldn't talk about this."

She began to walk away and he stood his ground as he addressed her retreating figure. "Talk about what, Leia? About who _really_ wanted to get married? About what _really_ made us end up in that bed together? About _that_, maybe? Any of that?!"

He watched as she continued to walk away, certain that she could still hear him as he watched her body flinch at his each and every syllable.

***

They hadn't spoken all evening. The pair had returned separately to the _Falcon_ and Chewie - in that innate way he had of reading their body language- had made himself scarce upon their return. Han had turned in early, excusing himself directly after dinner. Leia stood in his quarters, Han having offered them to her for privacy, as was the usual when she traveled with him. Standing there now, however, she felt undeserving of the gesture. Han had been right earlier. She spent the majority of her time denying what was so clearly happening between them.

But that wasn't wholly true. Yes, she denied having feelings for him and that was a lie, but she had no idea what was actually happening between them. For instance, just because Han could sense that she was hiding her feelings that didn't mean that he had owned up to any feelings of his own. He spent the majority of his time goading Leia into admitting things that he himself had not confessed to. Was he teasing her? Did he only want her to express her feelings for him so that he could confirm his suspicions and move on - his ego intact? She didn't think so, she certainly hope not.

But she wasn't entirely sure.

After an hour and a half of tossing and turning in Han's bunk, she got up and slipped on a robe. One of them was going to have to be the grown up. Han had made a point earlier. It was hard to lie when they were both skirting around the truth. Would it be so hard to admit they had feelings for each other? Han had saved her life several times over and Leia had demonstrated a deep trust and respect for him. What did they really think they were hiding from one another? It was ridiculous when she really thought about it.

She walked along the curved corridor of the _Falcon_ until she reached the bunk room. More of an alcove than a room, the tiny area didn't even have a door. Chewbacca slept in a sling-like bed that he had fashioned in the Number 3 hold, so the only current occupant of the alcove was the ship's captain. There were four single bunks attached to the walls and Han was currently lying in the bottom bunk that was furthest from Leia. It was dark and she couldn't make out his features, yet she thought that he was awake.

Maybe it was because she couldn't see his face, or maybe it was because there was a chance that he was asleep, but all of a sudden the words began to pour out of Leia, even before she could edit them for her protection. "I don't remember much about what happened that night...that night that we got married. But I do realize that the drugs only allowed me to do things that I probably, _unconsciously_ wanted to do anyway." She paused, wondering if he would respond and then pressed on - emboldened by the silence. "I mean, I don't think I wanted to be married to you, but I certainly, maybe wanted...and maybe that's why I wanted to be married. I don't know. I don't know what I'm trying to say. I don't know what you _want_ me to say. I'm attracted to you. I know that's what you want to hear. What you wanted me to admit. I admit it. I don't always know how I feel about it, or what I want to do about it."

She stopped again when a sudden, unexpected sadness took over her. Love was not supposed to be this hard, was it? Deciding that she had gone too far to stop now, she drew in a deep breath and continued, "I've lost a lot, Han. I'm..._focused_ on other things besides..." _Me, life, love, feelings_ - _everything you bring out in me_. "So, to try and move forward, with all of this, to try and get through this counseling thing, let's just agree that we don't want to be married. Okay? I don't hate you, but I'll pretend that I do. We can lie about that. Everything else...I just...I just don't know." She suddenly felt exhausted, like she had spent an eternity staring at the dark form in that bunk. "Are you going to say anything?"

She waited for several heartbeats but was met with nothing but silence. Perhaps she had said everything she had wanted to say to a man that _was_ actually asleep. Shrugging her shoulders, she turned and headed back to her room. It didn't matter if Han had heard her or not, she felt better either way. A good night's sleep on top of that should have her ready to face another day in the morning. As she reached the doorway to the captain's quarters, she heard creaking noises coming from down the hall that sounded like someone moving around in one of the bunks. She was half-inclined to turn around and investigate as she stilled and cocked her ear out so as to hear better. The sound faded as quickly as it had come and she shrugged it off once again as she entered her room, closing the door behind her.


	15. Chapter 15

The unhappily wed couple returned to yet another day of counseling. Han still wished he could figure that tiny and infuriating woman out, but he did notice that she seemed a lot less tense that morning. Perhaps it was the knowledge that there was no way that this day could be worse than the one before. He did not expect to be bombarded with intimacy questions on a daily basis, and surely the counselor did not expect them to complete their "assignment" immediately. Not that he wanted to, anyway, or anything.

Surprisingly, Han felt quite good when he woke up that morning. And Leia's improved mood certainly helped. He and Leia were greatly relieved to learn that the subject of that day's events would be effective communication with your spouse. Stating needs clearly, making sure that the other person understood where you were coming from, and generally staying away from topics involving sex. Also, the irony had not escaped him that he and Leia certainly could use some help on their communication skills, married or not.

The couples were seated, all of whom looked just as miserable as Han and Leia did. It seemed kind of sad in a way to be in a room surrounded by beings whose relationships had fallen apart. At least for him and Leia, theirs had never been a true marriage to begin with. Han didn't really have any interest in getting married himself, but it was still a little sad to see a room full of couples trying to split up.

Amidst the sea of misery though he did eye an attractive woman in the midst of those miserable faces. He'd noticed her earlier, dressed in a frumpy manner and usually with her hair a mess and pulled back. It was apparent that nobody in the room put much effort into their appearance. But that day, this particular blond-haired, thin and fit looking woman had her hair down, long and hanging over her shoulders. Tasteful makeup adorned her face and she was wearing a relatively form fitting sleeveless shirt and tight pants with her boots. Han didn't realize he was staring until he looked at her face and saw one of her blue eyes wink at him and he gave her half a smirk and looked away.

He remembered her introducing herself as Lohree on the first day. She looked to be a few years older than Leia, and more than a few centims taller. Her husband looked a few years older than Han and if he needed to guess Han would've said that he was probably a fairly wealthy man, because he certainly didn't land that woman on his good looks. He was balding, sporting some fairly unkempt facial hair and acted nauseatingly placating toward his wife, while she remained to appear disgusted with him. Seemed a shame that such an attractive woman should be wasted on a fairly pathetic excuse for a man.

Hearing a deep breath exhale from the woman seated next to him made him recall why he was there as Leia shifted in her seat a bit. She hadn't noticed the subtle exchange with the other woman. Han suddenly wished he could go back a few years and schedule some of his smuggling runs to land on this planet and stake out these conferences full of unsatisfied wives. Well, not really, as he had always had a policy against sleeping with married women…. unless he was married to them. But it sure was fun to think about.

"All right," Ava began in her typically calm voice. "We're going to do an exercise to help with our communication skills. I need some volunteers. So, Lohree, Kabe, why don't you come up here?"

The blond and her significantly less attractive husband stepped to the front of the room. Han noted that Lohree looked especially irritated.

"Now, I want you two to sit in these chairs," Ava indicated two chairs facing each other in front of the room and the couple sat down. "Take each other's hands and look at each other."

Lohree visibly rolled her eyes and Kabe looked basically helpless. Han wondered how much alcohol was involved in that particular decision to wed. Or maybe the guy was just that rich.

"I would like you to think of an issue you find yourselves arguing over that continues to come up that usually causes arguments. The trick is to discuss the issue openly and honestly, letting the other person air their grievances without interrupting, then coming back with your rebuttal but again, in a calm and reasonable manner. We do not want to use this as an attack on the other person. You need to start your discussions with, 'I feel that…' and then tell the other person how you feel about the situation. Do you understand?"

The couple nodded. "All right, then. Do you have an issue in mind you'd like to bring up?"

"I do," Kabe said without hesitation.

"Good, go ahead."

Kabe turned his attention back to his wife, who judging by the look on her face didn't really care how he felt about anything. Although Han was having trouble concentrating on much aside from her long legs, one crossed over the other, in those tight, black pants. "I feel," Kabe began, "that maybe you should consult me a little more often on what you spend my money on."

"_Your_ money?" Lohree began, obviously angered by the statement.

But before she could continue, Ava interrupted. "Now, see, this is what we don't want to do. You don't want to become agitated. This is how he feels about the situation, and his feelings are valid. Your job now is to tell him how you feel about it."

Lohree rolled her eyes and sat up a bit straighter, attempting to compose herself. "All right. Well, I feel that as a married couple, what's yours is mine and I should not have to ask your permission with every little purchase I make."

Kabe's face appeared to be turning red, and not in the adorably blushing way that Leia's did, more in the kind of way someone's face turns red before they go off in a fit of rage. "Well, _I_ feel that maybe you should scrutinize your purchases a little bit more and maybe there is no reason for one woman to own eleven pairs of black boots on top of several dozen other pairs of footwear."

"And _I_ feel…" Lohree started and the conversation went back and forth much the same for several minutes, each half of the couple becoming more and more agitated and visibly holding back tempers, speaking the words through clenched teeth. At one point Lohree even pulled her hand out of what had presumably become the uncomfortably tight grip of her husband.

Well, the woman might have been undeniably attractive, but Han was sure that he wouldn't have wanted to spend more than a couple of maybe sweaty, naked evenings with her if this was what she was like outside the bedroom. Sadly, that was not why they were there. Still it seemed interesting that his actual princess at least wasn't some sort of entitlement princess.

Before one of those poor people's heads popped off from trying to hold in the rage, Ava told them that they could stop and then asked them to kiss, which they reluctantly complied to. She then told everyone to choose a topic with their own spouse and attempt the exercise themselves and she would come around and observe.

Han and Leia turned their chairs toward one another. "What do you want to talk about?" Leia asked in a surprisingly cheerful tone. Maybe the worst of this was behind them.

"We could make something up, maybe. Like maybe you're a total slob or a terrible cook and don't know how to be a good wife," Han winked at her and he realized he missed this kind of light hearted teasing.

Fortunately, Leia's sense of humor seemed to have returned. "You know I can't cook anyway. What about the _Falcon_?"

"What about it?"

"Well, maybe _I_ feel," Leia began in a tone that showed that she was somewhat mocking the exercise, and the half smile on her face put him completely at ease, "that a good husband doesn't fly his wife around in an old, junky freighter." There was a mischievous sparkle in her eye that made it impossible for Han to actually get mad at her right then.

Still, it seemed like a good topic to bring up. They could certainly pretend to get themselves worked up over it, and the whole point was to prove that they had multiple issues that could not be resolved that meant that they did not make sense as a married couple. "Oh, yeah?" Han replied, getting himself into his indignant character, "Well maybe I feel that a good ship is hard to find and once you find one that works, you stick with it.

"And I feel that…" Leia began but then Ava stopped by and reminded them that they needed to join hands. It seemed like there were worse things in the universe, but Leia didn't look thrilled when she reluctantly slipped her hands into his. Han noted that there was more than one reason to call her the ice princess as she continued her rebuttal. "Well, I feel that a ship that breaks down constantly and risks the lives of its inhabitants maybe needs to be replaced."

They went back and forth for a few more minutes of good natured arguing. It was mostly things they'd said or thought before. The truth was, after that ship being the one that rescued Leia in the first place and guiding them through many successful missions, Han knew that Leia had taken a liking to his old girl. He no longer took offense to her arguments since he'd heard them all before, but he tried to act offended as they continued their back and forth. This was the kind of thing they could handle. And he couldn't help but notice how her hands had relaxed in his grip.

"All right, have you all said what you needed to say?" The room became quiet as all eyes turned back to the counselor. "Now kiss each other. We never want to walk away too angry."

Slowly the couples around them leaned in for kisses of vastly varying degrees of length and enthusiasm. Han had already noticed several couples that were quite obviously being helped by this little counseling session. His eyes turned to Leia, who looked at him far more matter of factly than he expected. Perhaps after waking up nearly naked in bed with him, the idea of a quick peck on the lips didn't seem quite so terrible. Rather than tease her, Han simply asked, "You ready?"

He caught the slightest hint of red creep into her face as she shrugged her shoulders. "Just make it quick."

He half smirked at her and then leaned in and kissed her gently and far too quickly. Fortunately, she didn't look appalled. Realizing their hands were still joined, Leia suddenly pulled hers away as they turned their chairs back toward the front of the room. It wasn't much of a kiss, but Han had to squash down the feeling that he'd like to try it again. And maybe a few more times after that.

The rest of the day was spent listening to Ava discuss effective communication. If anything, at least now Han would be prepared if for some reason somewhere in the future he decided to get married. Although being surrounded by mostly unhappy couples wasn't exactly a ringing endorsement. He was, however, relieved that he and Leia had made it through a day without encountering anything horribly awkward. They might even have a pleasant evening. Leia had even apparently loosened up enough that she didn't make a big deal over a little kiss.

They stood to leave and Han leaned down to tell Leia, "I'm gonna go use the 'fresher before we go. I'll be right out." Leia nodded and he disappeared down the hallway. After taking care of business, he ran into Lohree on her way out of the women's side. The 'freshers were located in a small corridor all by themselves and the two were apparently alone.

"Sorry about that," Han said as he stepped aside to let her by.

"Oh, don't worry," Lohree said, her eyes sparkling up at him. Han recognized a flirtatious look when he saw one, and this one made him stop in his tracks. "Wait a second," she said as she reached over and grabbed his forearm. Her eyes went down to her hand and she hadn't released her grip. "Wow," she said. "You feel a lot stronger than my husband."

Han couldn't decide whether to roll his eyes at this woman's blatant come on or to take her back into the 'fresher and give her exactly what she wanted. Unfortunately, he remembered that Leia was currently waiting for him. Wife or not, he didn't think that would go over too well.

"Yeah, well, your husband looks inadequate in quite a few ways," Han replied, grinning back at her. Might as well have a little fun with her anyway.

She giggled and twirled her hair with the hand not currently gripping his forearm. "You have no idea. Listen, if you ever need some time away from your wife and to talk to someone else, you just let me know, okay?"

Han nodded. "Absolutely." She slowly released her grip on him and then made a point to slide her hand along his back as she walked away.

Damn, how long had it been since he enjoyed the company of a woman? He was too embarrassed to think about it. Gods, women were infuriating lately.

Shaking his head, he walked off toward where Leia was waiting. "Ready to go?" she asked.

"You bet."


	16. Chapter 16

**_The following chapter was written by ShouldIGetOutandPush_**

"Hey, we're all gonna go grab a bite to eat. Wanna join?"

Han looked down at Leia. "Up to you."

She paused. The meeting had actually relaxed her and she felt a bit adventurous. It wasn't often that she got to dine out anymore and as good a cook as Han was, even he had his limitations. Finally, thoughts of another night cooped up in the small lounge of the _Millennium Falcon_ flitted across her mind and she answered with a casual shrug of her shoulders, "Okay."

* * *

><p>The motley crew of estranged couples had commandeered a large table at a local pub. When they had arrived the atmosphere had been that of a quaint restaurant with low lighting and mood music. After their meal and as the night wore on, however, the music's tempo and volume changed and some empty tables had been moved to give way to a dance floor. The previously barren bar at the far corner of the establishment was quickly filling up with rowdy patrons ordering pitchers of ale and smoking herb sticks that filled the air with pungent scents and a smoky haze.<p>

Han and Leia sat next to each other while the chairs surrounding them were vacated by couples getting up to dance, mingle or otherwise distance themselves from one another. Just as their waiter set a tall glass of wine in front of Leia and a mug of Corellian ale down for Han, Leia heard a familiar voice from over her shoulder.

"I'm stealing your husband from you. You don't mind, do you?"

Leia looked over and found the tall blond from the meeting, Lohree, with her hand resting on Han's shoulder and a wide smile plastered against her face. Her lipstick was freshly applied and it was evident that her perfume had been also as a pleasant aroma emanated off of her competing with the smokiness of the bar air. Leia looked down at Han and instantly read the look on his face. He was praying for a rescue, his head barely shaking back and forth in silent protest.

Her first inclination was to give in and save Han from this apparent predator as part of her felt a pang of jealousy at the thought of someone else dancing with him anyway. It was the mischievous part of her that won out, however, as she nodded an affirming 'yes' to Lohree and worked, quite unsuccessfully, at hiding the triumphant smile from Han as he begrudgingly rose from his seat and followed Lohree to the dance floor.

Watching the couple depart, Leia took a sip of her wine. The thought had been that the bold move would negate the unwanted feeling of possessiveness that had come over her, but, as with most of her clumsy attempts at besting herself, it quickly blew up in her face when Lohree slung her arm low around Han's torso and Leia felt a red hot heat blossom in her belly and spread up her neck and face. Her triumphant smile was all but forgotten and the pleasant mood of the day seemed deadset on following it wherever it had gone.

The next several moments were spent in a constant battle between Leia and her eyes as she tried in vain to look anywhere else but at Han and his dance partner but yet succeeded only in finding them every single time. She took a long, slow sip of her wine. Lohree was taller than Leia and as they danced and she lifted her head to speak to Han the distance (or lack of it) between their lips made it look way too tempting and easy for Han to tilt his head only slightly forward and kiss her. Not that Leia thought Han would, but the thought was there all the same. And as easy and tempting as it looked, Leia knew - or at least strongly suspected - that Lohree would not have a problem with the current situation unfolding in just that sort of manner. Leia gulped the last of her wine down in one large, unPrincesslike swallow, hoping that the warm liquid would push the conflicted feelings crawling up her throat right back down into the depths from where they had come from.

"My situation must look wholly pathetic to young eyes such as yours."

The statement came from over Leia's left shoulder and was accompanied by someone filling her empty wine glass. It was Lohree's estranged husband, Kabe. Leia found her voice as he slid into the chair next to her. "Thank you, and no, not at all."

"You're being polite. I appreciate it, but it isn't necessary."

Leia studied the older man thoughtfully as he found the same couple on the dance floor that she herself had been watching. She knew how _she _felt, unjustifiably as she had no real claim to Han, but this man had all the justification in the worlds to feel choked by possessiveness. This man wasn't playing a game. All of a sudden she and Han's situation didn't seem so intolerable. "It's not politeness but self-preservation," she finally replied as she took a sip of her wine. "It seems we are all in the same situation so if yours is pathetic than so would be mine." The words weren't entirely true, but she wasn't about to belittle the man further by telling him so. The older man relaxed his shoulders and smiled and Leia returned the smile knowing that her words, at least, had had the desired effect.

"To love and marriage," he replied with a lift of his glass.

Leia lifted her own glass and clinked it against his as she returned the sentiment.

"The pair doesn't get the respect they deserve," Kabe said thoughtfully, his eyes on the dance floor.

It took a moment for Leia to realize what he was speaking about - their toast to love and marriage - and not about what he was currently staring at - his wife dancing with Han.

"I worked hard all my life," he continued into Leia's silence. "In my studies when I was young and later as I grew into a man. People called me driven, dedicated and ambitious. I had clear goals of what I wished to achieve, to realize during my lifetime. Honor and responsibility were my partner to get me there."

Leia watched him as he spoke and couldn't help but think of her own ambition-driven childhood and life.

"I was a fool," Kabe whispered wistfully as he finally dropped his gaze down into his drink.

"You seem very successful," Leia responded. She recalled what she had thought of him as he and his wife had done the demonstration earlier. Pity and perhaps a tinge of distaste or disappointment that he seemed to have been a man that had married for looks.

"I am," he answered proudly, his chest inflating a bit before one long exhaled breath drained him of all that pride. "I did everything I set out to do and more." He took a sip of his drink and let his eyes travel back to the dance floor. "But it turns out that _honor_ and _responsibility_ make damned lonely partners."

An uneasy feeling crept back up Leia's throat until she swallowed awkwardly and looked out to the dance floor, easily finding Han.

"Does he make you laugh?"

The question caught Leia off guard and when she looked back at Kabe he hitched his chin out to the dance floor, indicating that he was speaking about Han - her estranged husband. Her eyes dropped for a moment of introspection but when she looked back up at Kabe she answered honestly, "Yes, he does."

"Does he care about you? Can you talk to him? Do you trust him?"

She drug her bottom lip gently across her teeth while her eyes traveled back out to the dance floor. "Yes, on all accounts," she whispered.

Kabe leaned toward her. "Then stick with him. Forget all this divorce stuff. Life is too short to assume you'll find someone else that does all of those things." Before she could protest he continued in earnest. "I always thought they'd be time. My personal life always took the backseat to my business and my obligations. And now, now that I have everything, all the money in the world to buy whatever I want, I can't buy the _one thing_ that I want...the one thing that I _need_ the most." He looked back out to the dance floor and Leia suddenly felt very pensive. "She's not a bad person," Kabe continued. "I knew she didn't love me, that's not her fault. I thought I had enough money to keep her happy, in _that way_ I failed us both. She thought all she wanted was money but the more I gave her the more she found that it wasn't enough. When she finally leaves me, she'll probably fall in love with some schlep living on a shoestring budget and find that she's never been more happy. That's the thing about love; it's got a never-ending bank account."

Leia contemplated his words. There was a time in her life when she would've been able to work at love, to interview her suitors and to date them. That time had been ripped away from her. Even if she wanted to she was in no position to participate in that social dance. The night before she had confessed to (a probably sleeping) Han that she was attracted to him. But did that attraction equal love? She certainly didn't feel ready to connect those dots. However, if she never acted on the attraction (save one drunken night) then whatever came of it would never get a chance at a breath of life, be it love or heartache or what-have-you. Maybe whatever she and Han had been doing was as close as she would ever get to dating someone, getting to know them, and falling in love. The train of thought wasn't altogether uncomfortable.

Leia closed her eyes and rubbed her forehead, the wine was taking its affect on her mind - fuzzying her thoughts. The Alliance, Alderaan, the Empire. All those things that usually took precedence in her life came clawing their way to the surface of her thoughts, clamoring for her drunken attention. But Kabe's speech echoed its warning. The Alliance, Alderaan and the Empire would make fairly lousy and lonely partners somewhere down the road. Hells, they made fairly lousy and lonely partners now.

"You alright?"

Leia opened her eyes to find two concerned hazel eyes looking down on her. Han had returned from the dance and Lohree was sitting stiffly next to Kabe already pouting about something. "I'm fine," she replied. "I think I just need some fresh air."

Leia stood and made to walk to the door as Han grabbed her arm at the elbow saying, "I'll come with you."

She felt grateful for Han's assistance as she made it through the crowd, her vision hazy from the alcohol and the smoky cantina. It was a shock to her senses as they entered the cool, dark nighttime air of the city street. They walked past the crowd of people waiting to get in and finally snagged an empty alcove that belonged to a closed business next door. Leia leaned gratefully against the sturdy wall of duracrete.

"You need to sit down?" Han asked fidgeting.

"No, I'm fine. I just had to get out of there." Recalling her hasty exit, she then added, "I should've told Kabe we were leaving. I didn't even say goodbye."

"He'll get over it. He has his hands full, I'm sure."

Han's posture was rigid and his eyes were never fixed on one place for too long. It took her several moments to comprehend it. He didn't like being out like this in the middle of the night, not with her feeling woozy and his back to the street and no Wookiee backup anywhere to be found. He was always taking care of her. Thinking about the situation, the risks, even when she wasn't. Like, perhaps that night that had started all of this. How many other men would've left her with her dignity, much less her virginity, in tact when thrown into the same situation? Why did he do that? Her brain wrapped itself around that question, toying with it and absorbing it. The fogginess started to give way to a pleasurable warmth that she secretly associated with Han Solo.

"Have you ever been in love?" She asked him.

His alert demeanor gave way to shock for just a millisecond, and then he squared his shoulders and said casually, "Once or twice, I guess. Never really thought about it."

She studied him carefully, he was a perfect contradiction to her in that she liked to believe that she had him all figured out but didn't understand him at all. She sighed, her head dizzy and then what would have usually remained repressed somewhere near the tips of her toes came out unbidden. "What do you mean you've never thought about it? Either you have or you haven't."

"Well," he stammered. "Have you?"

She stared at him for a moment, and then answered simply, bravely, "No."

"Hmph," he answered, plainly intrigued. "I thought a Princess would've had her share of suitors."

"Perhaps," she replied, ignoring the slight slur of the syllables. "But I've never said the words. I've come close to wondering; thinking possibly but...never quite convinced enough to commit to it."

"That doesn't surprise me."

"Why do you say that? Wait, no, you're drawing me off subject. We're supposed to be talking about you. Have _you_ ever said the words?" He smiled down at her, seemed...amused. The fogginess was lifting off her brain, yet she allowed it to hover there to her advantage. She found Han most pliable when he didn't think she was at the top of her game.

"Yes, I've said the words, once or twice, just like I said."

"So, you've been in love."

He shrugged his shoulders and his eyes got that distant look. She thought a moment of what she wouldn't give to take a ride to where those thoughts were going. "Like I said, I guess," he replied, his gaze coming back to meet hers. "Looking back, now...they were probably just words. Wishful thinking."

The thought of a Han Solo that would _wish_ to be in love made her insides flutter. "No, you can't take it back now," she argued. "You were in love, just...maybe not the forever kind." Her own words sounded childish and idealistic as they came out of her mouth. She thought, as she pressed her hands against her lips to suppress a giggle, that perhaps the fog hadn't completely lifted yet.

"You're drunk," Han finally stated the obvious, but the fact seemed to sour his mood instantly and greatly as a solid wall of seriousness slammed down between them.

"I'm not," she argued as she drew in a deep breath of the nighttime air. "Just...liberated," she finally said, because that was how she felt.

"We're getting you some coffee," Han replied quickly as he took her once again by the elbow and began to lead her down the street.

"Han Solo, just because I'm talking about feelings and love, doesn't make me drunk," she pouted as she walked two steps behind his quick pace. "And why did you have to dance for such a long time with that floozy?" Clearly she had no control of her tongue at this point, she thought - all at once embarrassed. _I had better steer clear of Han's mouth, then... _That thought brought another round of suppressed giggling.

Han continued walking, perhaps more quickly and she heard him mumble something along the lines of 'just like the last time'.

"Wait," she said, yanking her arm free from his grasp. "What do you mean _just like the last time_?

Why don't you ever tell me what happened that night? Don't you think I have the right to know? Don't you think I should know what I did? Did I-?" She stopped, not entirely sure that she wanted to know the answer should she decide to ask the question, but then pressed on, "Did I _say_ anything...like that? That night?" Leia held her breath as she watched Han process her question and calculate his response. She waited eagerly hoping that if perhaps her subconscious self had already drawn the conclusion and conjured up the nerve to talk about love with Han Solo then it would make it that much easier for her conscious self to catch up. Maybe.

Han dropped his hand down from where he had been holding her at the elbow and let out a long, deep breath. He looked around a little bit before his eyes finally landed back on hers and he seemed ready to speak. Leia curled her toes inside of her shoes, preparing herself for whatever earth-shattering news Han Solo might finally be ready to deliver to her. She watched as if in slow motion as he opened his mouth to speak.

"I'll tell you everything you want to know about that night."

With a thud in her belly that was her heart, Leia opened her mouth to reply, but he pressed his finger over her lips to silence her.

He continued, "When you're ready to talk to me about it _without_ being inebriated _and_ in the light of day."

The muscles in her face relaxed as disappointment crawled across her face. Her first inclination had been to argue, but she was sober enough to know that she wasn't quite sober enough to win that argument. And there was something in his eyes that stopped her, too. It was not the normal sparkle of mischievousness that both enthralled and infuriated her but a gleam, a hard shine that dared her to look further but only succeeded in forcing her to turn away. Han waited in silence as she accepted what he said and then took her arm again and started walking in silence.

The buzz of a headache began to twist inside of her forehead, yet even in her foggy state, something nagged at her about what Han had said. _And in the light of day_. She looked up at him, studying his profile as he guided her down the street, his jaw tightly set and the lines of his face more angular than usual. Had he heard her the night before? And if so, why hadn't he said anything?

She looked back toward the spaceport coming into view ahead of them. Each day since they had been there seemed to prove more interesting then the next. When Han finally let go of her arm so that he could punch the access code into the _Falcon_, she briefly chanced wondering what tomorrow could possibly hold in store for them.


	17. Chapter 17

It had been far too interesting of a day. Han decided he had been delusional for thinking that they would make it through this little charade unaffected. It was all just supposed to be some silly play acting until they could move on with their lives. Yep, completely delusional.

He also wondered what he was going to say when she asked him again later about what had happened that night. There was no way she wouldn't ask, and he was through playing games with her. He was simply going to have to tell her.

Her question about whether or not he'd been in love had thrown him. The truth was, he had said the words a few times. He'd been young and stupid and it just seemed like something he was supposed to say after a certain amount of time, especially when the response from the girl was always so favorable.

But the relationship, like all of the others, eventually ended. And he didn't recall being incredibly broken up over the loss. Sure, he missed them, but he had no trouble moving on with his life. Occasionally he thought about what it would be like to pack up the _Falcon_ and go back to his old life, without saying much more than goodbye to Leia.

Just the thought of never seeing her again made his stomach churn. He didn't understand how he could become so attached to someone who had practically made it her job to drive him crazy. In spite of all of the arguments and her insistence that she couldn't stand him, he realized that his heart fluttered a little every time she entered a room. If he wasn't with her he was thinking about her constantly, and there had been a few times since he'd known her when his fear for her safety surpassed any fear he'd ever felt.

_You love her, Solo. You're completely in love with that woman and you have no idea what to do about it. _

He had never been one to hold anything back, so why didn't he just tell her?

Perhaps it was the worry that she wouldn't feel the same way. But she must have, right? Maybe it was the worry that she wouldn't _let_ herself feel all of those things he knew she was feeling.

Falling in love with an incredible woman – and Leia qualified as more than that – was supposed to be a great thing. Instead, it seemed to be ruining his life. For a brief moment he thought about what things would be like if somehow she stopped being in denial and they just stayed married. He could see coming home to her every day, going to bed with her every night, seeing her face light up with a smile every time she saw him, flying all over the galaxy together. He never saw himself as the kind of man who'd want such a life, but with her, it was different. Nothing else seemed to matter. And yet he also felt like he might as well be fantasizing about growing fur and becoming a Wookiee. Each scenario was equally far-fetched.

He rolled over in his bunk, punching his pillow a bit harder than was necessary. _Why don't you think about that blond you danced with today instead? She wants you. You could have her tomorrow…_

He heaved out a sigh, his mind preoccupied only with thoughts he was trying not to have.

_Damn it. She's not Leia._

Leia was not having a much better time in her attempts to sleep. Her head was throbbing given that she had surpassed her typical levels of alcohol consumption. But she suspected that she wouldn't have had an easier time sleeping even without having too much to drink.

Her mind wandered back and forth between what had happened last night and her continued failed attempts at trying to remember what had happened on the night that had gotten them into this mess. While spending time on this planet without the constant threat of death had been a somewhat nice change of pace, she also felt guilty for feeling like she'd abandoned the Rebellion. That, and all of that dealing with the Empire stuff provided a welcome distraction from thinking about a certain smuggler. And had afforded her the opportunity to spend a little bit more time away from him.

As it was, they were spending every waking moment together. Not so long ago the thought of spending every waking moment with Han Solo would've seemed like some sort of nightmare. He riled her up just for fun and often drove her out of her mind, but at the same time, she always felt safer when she was with him. Sure, he tended to do some things that defied common sense, but she could also tell that he would do what he needed to in order to protect her. It was both comforting and disconcerting.

Somewhere along the line her thoughts wandered back to the night they had been drugged. She remembered getting dressed to go out with Han, and the appreciative glare that sparkled in his eyes when he saw her dressed in something that for once wasn't fit for battle. And he didn't look so bad either. But then, did he ever? She remembered him offering his arm, and she only slightly hesitated before taking it. It felt good to walk around with that handsome man with her.

There was food, there was drinking. What was in those drinks? Things got hazy after that. There were so many pieces missing. She could see him smiling at her; she could almost feel what she had felt then and how much she wanted him. She could almost hear herself telling him that she loved him. Did he say it, too? For a brief moment she thought she could recall kissing him – and not like they had done to close out their little exercise, but a real kiss – but then it was gone.

Wait, when did they get to the hotel room? This she hadn't remembered before. She was practically throwing herself at him. He was saying some things but she couldn't make out what. There might have been more kissing but it was all flashing by too quickly and before she knew it she had thrown off her dress and was standing in front of him almost naked. Was that what had happened? Had she really done that? And had he really…. Wait, what did _he_ do?

She could see the conflict on his face just before he finally grabbed a blanket and wrapped her up in it. She felt an odd mix of disappointment she had felt that night and complete relief at recalling these things now that things had not gone further. She could feel him tucking her into bed and then the memory was gone.

Her eyes snapped open. Had she been dreaming or were those real memories? She didn't know if she'd ever be able to figure it out without Han filling in the gaps for her. Had she really thrown herself at him like that? And had he really consciously not taken advantage of her?

She didn't understand how dealing with Han had become more complicated than defeating the Empire, but it had. And they were both going to have to figure this out because there was no way they'd make it through the coming weeks of so-called counseling if they didn't really talk and say what was going on.

_Please don't let me love him. I won't be able to handle it when he leaves._


	18. Chapter 18

**_The following chapter was written by ShouldIGetOutandPush_**

_Please don't let me love him. I won't be able to handle it when he leaves._

It took a few moments for her to get past that thought. She realized that all of the ramifications of what had happened to her on the Death Star and to her home planet of Alderaan, had all not yet played out completely. Would the loss of everything that was dear to her render her incapable of love and commitment? Would the fear of loss forever taint the way she lived her life now? Was she broken? Is that why she feared her growing feelings for Han? Yet another sobering thought.

No one could walk away from that experience undamaged, she realized that. But just how damaged was she? Would she ever really know? One thing was for certain, the Leia Organa lying in the captain's quarters of the _Millennium Falcon_ would never be the same Leia that had stepped foot on that Death Star in shackles. It was a daunting task...rewriting oneself. She closed her eyes and thought about her current situation, her choices, her life. _Is this how you want to be rewritten?_

A soft knock on the cabin door jarred her from her musings. It was an unfamiliar sound. No one really knocked on the metal doors of a ship's quarters. Intercoms and announcers were the norm. The _Falcon's_ announcers were out-dated and broken and unlike other things, like the hyperdrive and laser cannons, Han hadn't seen the necessity in fixing them or updating them. Leia could understand the sense in that, after all, it was usually only he and Chewie cooped up on the small ship. Regardless, the knock repeated in earnest while she was processing its occurrence and it was now accompanied by a faint "Leia?" in what she recognized as Han's voice.

She sat up and hit the door controls that were inset at the alcove of the headboard before thinking the entire thing over. As the door slid open, she pulled the covers over herself. She was wearing an Alliance undershirt and drawstring pants, so she was hardly indecent, but if she had been thinking clearly she would've at least slipped on her robe before opening her bedroom door to a man. The entire lapse in judgment was nearly all worth it, however, when she saw the look on Han's face as he found her sitting in his bunk clutching his sheets to her chest. One would've thought that she was sprawled naked and doing back flips if judging solely by his reaction. She took a moment to enjoy the color on his cheeks, a pleasant role reversal for the two of them.

"Um," Han stammered as he stood in the doorway, apparently not yet ready or able to enter the room. "Are you okay?"

"Yes," she answered quickly, sitting up a little straighter. "Why?"

He shook his head and seemed to gather his wits. "I thought I heard something. Wanted to make sure you were alright."

"I'm fine," she said and regretted that it came out sounding snappy.

Han nodded in response and began backing out of the door with an apology. But before his hands could reach the door controls she stood and scurried towards him saying, "Wait. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to snap."

"It's alright. I just wanted to make sure you were okay. You know, after last night."

"I know. I know. I acted horribly and you have a right to worry and now I'm snapping at you. I'm sorry."

She stood a few paces from him, his sheets still clutched to her chest but now hanging down and not doing much of anything as far as cover. His gaze traveled over the length of her and she had to remind herself that she was indeed properly dressed. Again, maybe it was because she was standing in his quarters, wrapped in his sheets, whatever it was she knew with the way that he was looking at her that he was seeing something else entirely and she found her body reacting in kind. A nervous, yet pleasant warmth blossomed inside of her and spread through every blood vessel and limb. When the telltale warmth reached her cheeks she bowed her head and looked away from him. _What does this mean when he does this to me?_

Leia may've been naive when it came to intimate relationships with men, but she wasn't dumb. She knew what it meant all the while trying to pretend that she didn't. _This_ was what she was fighting. This feeling of nakedness, of vulnerability, of want, desire and loss of self-control that she experienced when she was around him. A different Leia, in a different reality may have been able to face these things as normal people would. But with so little is left in her control, for someone that is forever teetering on the edge of sanity, what's normal to others becomes impossible for them. Or at least seemingly impossible. _But it is possible_.

"Hey." Han took his finger and lifted her chin. He had stepped closer to her, found the courage to join her in his room.

"Hey," she croaked back as her eyes found his. _This doesn't have to be terrifying_.

"You don't look alright."

"I drank too much."

"I noticed." The breath from his silent chuckle ghosted across her cheek.

"I owe you an apology."

"For what? Being human?"

_You're the only one I'm able to be human with_. She swallowed. It was then that she realized that her worries from earlier were in vain. There was no use hoping that she wasn't in love with him. It was a futile gesture, a foregone conclusion.

"Leia," he began but then stopped.

"I love you," she blurted out into his silence. Everything felt lighter when those words had escaped her. "I don't know if I said it before, but I do. And...I wanted you to know."

Han took his face in her hands, stroking her cheeks with his thumbs. "Are you sure you're sober?" He asked with a smile.

"Positive. I can recite the Alliance pledge if you'd like."

"Not necessary," he replied. "And, just so you know, you didn't say it before - that night. But the way you acted, what you did...it was the first time I allowed myself to think maybe you did."

She felt gloriously freed from some heavy armor that she hadn't even been aware she'd been wearing. But she was also very much attuned to the fact that he had not yet responded in kind to her. It was no matter, really. In her heart she was sure that he loved her, had proven it time and again. On some level she believed that she knew him and if he was unable to find the words, it was more his nature than lack of the feeling. _I don't need the words_.

"Oh," he said as if remembering something. "And I love you, too."

She smiled and rose up on her tiptoes to allow her lips to meet his. She dropped the sheet she had been holding and wrapped her arms around his neck. Eager and elated at the turn of events she moved to deepen the kiss but Han stopped her. Placing his hands on the side of her face, more purposefully this time than before, he studied her eyes and asked, "Are you sure this is you?"

_This is who I want to be_. "Yes," she whispered adamantly with more than a hint of impatience in her voice.

Han seemed to take the answer and the hint with much delight as he lowered his face to hers and relinquished himself to the kiss she had tried for earlier. The feel of his lips on hers, his tongue invading her mouth, his hands running over her back and hips, it was all so foreign, yet addicting and...safe. She longed for him to touch more of her, relishing in the bold feeling that his hands teased out of her. _This is who I can be_.

"Leia," he whispered her name through her hair, his breath hot against her ear. "Leia," he said her name again, louder this time. Something all of a sudden didn't feel right, he was no longer in her arms. There was a loud banging coming from somewhere on the ship. Had he left her to tend to some repair? Before she could curse the _Falcon_ for her poor timing, she heard her name again, "Leia!"

Her eyes sprang open, she sat up and clutched the covers to her chest as she watched the door to her quarters slide open. It took a few blinks for her to realize that she had been dreaming.

"You alright?" Han asked, the words so similar to her recent dream but his voice, mannerisms and their delivery were worlds apart.

"Yeah, wha-"

"Get dressed," he snapped. "We got company." And with that he turned and headed down the corridor and out of sight.

It took a moment for Leia's mind to catch up to reality, her breathing was heavy from being awakened so suddenly and from such a dream. _A dream!_ More than a small part of her felt robbed at the unfairness of it all. The freedom, the elation - _his hands!_ - had all felt so real...so _wanted_. She let out a deep breath but when she heard Han call her name once more from around the corridor, she sprung into action to get dressed. _Who in the nine hells could this be?_


	19. Chapter 19

Han had never liked the sound of the _Falcon's_ alarms indicating someone was approaching, especially in the middle of the night. This particular alarm was far more quiet and did not cause him to leap out of bed prepared to defend himself to the death, it was only designed to make him aware that someone was outside. Things had been calm thus far on planet, so he wasn't particularly worried that there was an imminent attack.

That said, when he threw on his pants and a t-shirt to greet their visitor, he almost wished it was a bounty hunter or an Imperial agent. At least those guys you could just shoot and be done with it.

Leia emerged from her quarters having thrown a robe on over her night clothes. He tried to ignore the fact that even in the middle of the night, just rolling out of bed, she still looked gorgeous.

"Who is it?" she asked, stifling a yawn.

"It looks like Ava," Han replied as he moved to activate the ramp.

"Ava? The counselor? What's the doing here?"

"You think I know?"

Leia looked more annoyed than anything as he activated the ramp and made his way to greet their unwelcome visitor. Though he supposed things could've been worse. The woman looked all business, as usual, as Han led her toward the lounge where Leia waited.

"Good evening," she began with an apologetic look on her face. Han and Leia were both too annoyed to reply. "I'm very sorry to disturb you."

"Well, then why did you?" Han asked.

A sheepish smile crossed her face. "It's part of the program, I'm afraid," she said.

"What, house calls?" Han was growing tired of jumping through all of these hoops just to divorce a woman he didn't even remember marrying. Leia had her arms crossed against her chest, clearly as annoyed as he was.

Ava nodded. "In a manner of speaking."

"Seems like an awful lot of trouble to go through. You ever get any sleep?" Han asked.

"Well, to be honest, I don't visit everyone. Only the couples I really think can turn things around."

Han had no reply for that. So, now they were at the top of the class? All this time he thought it would be so easy to make it apparent that they didn't belong together. He had entertained the idea of staying married to Leia, but it was all pretty much just a fantasy. She'd made it very clear that she didn't want him. He was going to have to have a chat with her in the morning about stepping up their arguing for the remainder of the program.

"And what makes you think we can turn things around?" Leia asked, still standing in the corner, leaning casually against the wall.

Ava smiled. "Look, I've been doing this for a long time. I've gotten pretty good at being able to tell which couples belong together and which ones don't. For example, I will not bother going to see Lohree and Kabe."

Leia rolled her eyes. "I'm not sure that knowing they have no business staying together requires one being particularly insightful."

Ava laughed at that. "No, I suppose not. But, please, can we just sit down? The quicker we start talking, the quicker you two can get back to sleep. Or I suppose doing whatever it is you were doing," she added a bit hopefully.

"Sleeping," Leia said insistently as she moved over toward the holochess table to sit down.

The three sat down at the table, Han next to Leia and Ava across from them, though Han noted that Leia went out of her way to keep from touching him.

"I do apologize for showing up in the middle of the night, but you have to understand that here on Atzerri we take the vows of marriage very seriously. We don't like to see couples just give up on a good thing. I don't like to waste any chance to get a couple to see that they could be very happy together."

Han reached up and rubbed his temples. Being married to Leia thus far had been nothing but one giant headache. "All right," he said. "Then let's get on with it."

"Thank you," Ava replied, pulling out her data pad and looking back and forth between Han and Leia. "Now, let's get the uncomfortable stuff out of the way first. I gave you two an assignment. Have you completed it?"

It took Han a moment to realize what she was talking about. For a second he felt like a small boy who had forgotten to do his homework. Then he remembered that the entire point of this whole thing was, in fact, to fail. So perhaps not completing assignments was actually in their best interest. Then he remembered the assignment in question as he looked to Leia and saw her eyes widen.

"Uh, no," he said, not really having to pretend to be disappointed.

"May I ask why not?"

Han shrugged. "Look, we've just been really distant. And she's definitely not interested. I couldn't even tell you the last time we did it." _Actually, I could tell you it's been exactly never._

Ava appeared disappointed. "Well, have you at least been sleeping in the same bed?"

Leia shook her head and Han answered. "Nah, there's no point."

"I do wish you'd reconsider," Ava said.

Han gave her a mock smile. "We'll take it under consideration."

Leaning forward, Ava looked imploringly at the couple. "Look, you two clearly care for one another."

Leia's irritated voice interrupted. "What makes you say that?"

The woman smiled. "I've been doing this for a very long time, and I can tell."

"Well, your intuition is faulty this time," Leia said with her eyebrow raised.

"I doubt that," Ava answered. "And to help things along, Leia, I'd like you to look at your husband and tell him some things that drew you to him."

Now things were getting interesting. Leia's brown eyes turned to him, and he found himself profoundly curious as to what she might have to say, though she remained silent, her mouth slightly agape.

"Come on, now," Ava prompted. "You wouldn't be in this position at all if you never saw anything in him.

She took a deep breath then, and Han thought he detected her shaking a little. He never thought it would be so difficult to get her to admit anything that she liked about him.

"Well," Leia began, "he is an incredibly talented pilot.

Han frowned, annoyed that she appeared to be taking the easy way out. Even Luke could appreciate Han's piloting skills. Surely she had to like something else about him.

"All right," Ava said, "that's a start. But that's not really a reason to marry someone, is it? I think you can do better than that."

Her eyes were on his again, and he found himself captivated by them. In an instant he was brought back to that night that had brought them here, and the look in her eyes when she gazed at him adoringly. What would it be like if she always looked at him that way?

"Okay," Leia began. "I suppose he's very brave."

Well, that was a little better, Han thought. "Good," Ava said. "What else?"

"He's... tall."

Ava smirked. "Well, that's something, I guess, but I think you can still do better.

"He's very loyal. He'd do anything to help his friends. He's much more caring than you'd think."

"These are all important qualities," Ava said. "Anything else?"

Leia shrugged. "Well, I suppose he also makes me feel safe. Protected."

"Excellent," Ava said. Han felt a surge of relief that Leia did, in fact, notice some of his better qualities. He wondered if she knew just how far he'd go to protect her.

"Now, Han, I want you to tell your wife some of the qualities that drew you to her."

This he was not expecting. But at this point he had nothing to lose. He turned to look at her, finding her arms still tightly wrapped across her chest as though trying to shield herself from any possible emotion. He didn't even know where to begin. "Well," he started, pausing to clear his throat. "She's an incredibly strong woman. And she's got a hell of a personality."

"All right," Ava interjected. "That's a good start. What else?"

"She's got a great sense of humor. At least when she lets herself smile," he added, watching Leia give him a bemused look. "She's one of the smartest women I've ever met," he added sincerely.

"These are all important qualities," Ava interjected. "Anything else?"

He looked down at his hands for a moment, clasped in front of him as he absently played with his fingers. Bringing his eyes back up to her face, he was reminded of all of those times he'd looked at her and thought of the things he could've said but never did. The words finally spilled out of him. "I thought she was the most beautiful woman I'd ever met. I couldn't stop thinking about her. I just wanted to be around her all the time."

He saw her face shift from annoyance into what could only be described as shock and he suddenly realized what he'd just said. He hoped that once Ava left he could just describe it as part of the act. But he wasn't sure that he wanted her to believe that.

His eye contact with Leia was broken by the startling voice of the counselor he had forgotten was even there. "Excellent! See? I knew you two had something special. It's the couples who never felt anything for each other that we have to worry about. I want you to think about those feelings. Think about the good times and what has changed between then and now. Often times we are simply blinded by outside forces and we can't see things anymore. What you felt once can be felt again. You just need to allow yourselves to feel. I get the sense that you two are trying very hard not to give into these feelings. Only you can figure out why. But I do want you to consider that."

Han felt like he'd been punched in the gut. Gods, why didn't he leave the Rebellion months ago? It was causing him nothing but heartache.

"I'll leave you two alone now," Ava said as she stood to leave. "But keep in mind what you've just said. You two are quite well matched. I do hope you'll come around. I'll see myself out," she said, disappearing around the corner and down the ramp.

Han silently moved to close things down again, turning to see Leia still seated at the table, staring at the ground.

The silence was deafening, and he couldn't stand not saying anything. "So, what do we do now?"

He really had no idea. Part of him wanted to just pack up their things and flee. They could deal with all of this some other time. Another part of him wanted to take her face in his hands and kiss her, showing her just how much he meant everything he'd just said.

She looked up at him, and his heart sank when he saw what looked like fear in her eyes. Damn it, what was she so afraid of?

"I'll see you in the morning," she said as she stalked off to her quarters without another word.

Han had to actively fight to keep from punching something critical on his ship. _What just happened, here?_


	20. Chapter 20

**_The following chapter was written by ShouldIGetOutandPush_**

"Leia?" Han rapped his knuckles against the durasteel door at the same time he began pressing in his override code. When the door to his cabin swished open, Leia was standing directly in front of him.

"What is it?" She asked, her tone clipped.

Han chose not to reply, hoping his expression said it all.

She turned away, walking further into his quarters. "I don't want to talk about this, Han."

He stepped into the room, feeling as if he was breaking some seal or bubble of protection that she might have felt by retreating in there. "Well, I do." He was very cognizant of the fact that they were now in his bedroom together, it weaved a more intimate feel into the conversation.

Her back remained facing him as she said, "We're _supposed_ to be trying to get a divorce here, Han. How is it that you keep forgetting that?"

It was a good question. One he had pondered himself and was glad to share his insights with her now. "I guess I'm just a man of opportunity at heart. You never allow me the opportunity to discuss these things with you. In there," he said, pointing toward the lounge where they had been with Ava, "you said things that I think were honest assessments of your feelings. I get no other opportunity to respond to those with you. Like here. With your back to me. With your back turned on all of this."

She threw her head back in frustration and then turned around to face him, her face hardened as she said, "There is no this."

"No," he replied hastily, pointing his finger at her. "Not this time. I'm not playing along with you anymore."

"I'm not playing. This isn't a game," she said her voice rising.

"Then what is it? Please enlighten me. Because from where I'm standing you can't seem to keep the rules straight, either."

Her expression changed, softening but still maintaining its steely resolve. "I've made mistakes."

Han scoffed. "Sweet-" he started but she interrupted.

"I've allowed my...mixed emotions to derail me from my objectives."

"Could you explain that in Basic, please. Because I don't know-"

"It doesn't matter!"

Han's posture tensed at the sudden rise in her voice.

"Can't you just..."

Han watched her fingers curl into fists and then release. He couldn't recall ever seeing her so...frustrated. And that was saying a lot.

"It doesn't matter how I feel about you. What I've said," she continued. "_This_ can never happen. I have too many people counting on me. My actions affect so many. I answer to something greater than just myself.."

He nodded his head slowly, feeling as if he had just been punched in the gut. "I see," he said.

"I'm sorry. I really do-"

"Don't," he cut her off while holding his hand up to her. "You've made yourself perfectly clear."

"Please, Han," she said taking a step towards him. "You've got to understand."

"Oh, I understand," he replied, his voice steely. "I understand that I gave you way too much credit. Here I thought you were battling your feelings for me to protect yourself. _That_ I could deal with. _That_ I could understand, respect. But _this_," he said, his finger pointing at her accusingly. "_This_ pretentious, political nonsense that you claim controls you?" He stopped, shaking his head at her. "I don't want any part of it anyway."

"Han-"

"I'll take care of everything," he said, interrupting her again. Her expression had softened, her eyes had turn liquid, but he held on to his resolve. "You won't have to worry about me sullying your reputation anymore." With that he turned and left his cabin, slapping the door controls closed as he left.

***

Leia was left standing there feeling small and petty. The tears, the emotions, the frustrations all threatened to surface but she fought them. It had to be done. For years she had trained for this. All her life she had been taught that her life would always have to serve a bigger purpose. Sacrifice was no stranger to her. She swallowed, heard the pounding and clanking of Han elsewhere on the ship. Had she lost another friend to her duties? It would not be the first time and Han was more than a friend. She missed him already, everywhere, unable to pinpoint the ache to any one place in her body. Her heart, her stomach, her lungs, arms, legs and head - they all throbbed with the pain of that conversation. She shrugged off her robe and climbed into his bunk. Sleep would not come easily on this night...

She awoke feeling as if she had just shut her eyes but the chrono above her head told her that it was morning. She dressed, her movements mechanical. When she exited the Captain's quarters she walked around the corridor slowly, unsure of how awkward their first interaction would be. A few trips between the galley, the cockpit and the holds and she realized that she was alone. Han had left. Her heart sank at the realization. She was on his ship so she was sure that he hadn't left her literally, but figuratively he had. Figuratively, she knew, he had left her last night in the midst of their conversation and she only had herself to blame. It was what she wanted, what she had asked him to do. Han always did, in some strange way, do as she asked of him. She drew in a deep breath and blew it out. Perhaps he would be waiting for her at the counseling session? A part of her did not want to leave the _Falcon_, thinking (hoping) that he might return. As the hour of their appointment drew near however, she gave up hope, locked up the ship and headed to the meeting.


End file.
